#i have a whole headcanon backstory for eva

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

I have far too many half-written things in my google docs that have never seen the light of day, so I've decided to start buffing up the best ones and posting them unfinished. Maybe I'll come back to them later, or if not at least someone will hopefully enjoy reading them as they are.

First up: fragments from a WIP based on the concept that Eva did not actually die when the twins were children; instead, she got caught in the magic field of a Geryon and sling-shotted to the middle of Devil May Cry 5. What I wrote revolved more around the aftermath, and Eva trying to come to terms with the modern world, her losses, and not knowing what happened to her sons.

The building is echoing once the buffer of trash is removed. High ceilings dissipating into shadowy un-shapes. Dark corners shifting like predators turning and twisting. It’s too like the manor in those early days before she tamed it as Sparda had; made it respect her for all she was a mortal woman.

Made it respect her because she was a mortal woman.

She feels so tired, though; too tired to start a fresh war. So Eva lives with the shadows and whatever they may hide. At least it’s not outwardly hostile. Even if it was, by rights she shouldn’t be comfortable here.

This domain, this world, empty of her sons.

----

Swollen and fragile all at once, like a wine glass held too long in hot water - ripe for shattering with a single thoughtless move.

Midmorning is an inauspicious time for any demon to appear; Eva uses the reprieve to walk the city streets. Capulet is smaller than Red Grave but still a decent-sized city in its own right, checking off all the requirements: university, libraries, museums, churches, arts district, cheerful cafes dotting the sidewalk…

A few months ago -- no, thirty years ago -- she would have delighted in browsing the art supplies store, or checking the museum events for child-friendly exhibitions (but boys you must behave), or laughing into her coffee as two eight year olds descended into extensive debate on the merits of chocolate cake over strawberry tarts.

Now she buys peppermint tea in a to-go cup and takes it to the park.

Capulet is unexpectedly windswept in August, errant breezes stirring up the parched over-long grass around her ankles and pulling her hair, strand by strand, out of the confines of her ponytail.

The park is quietish; the younger children are out in force but a university city never really feels alive during the summer while the students are away. She follows the winding gravel path towards the duck pond at the centre and circles it once, twice. Watches other mothers with children tossing breadcrumbs to the ducks; running; playing.

“Why don’t you go and play, boys? Just--”

“Be careful, I know.” Vergil’s eyes, already so much older than they should be. “Why even try when we have to pretend?”

She’d never come up with a good enough answer for him.

Trish finds her on a bench. She sits down without ceremony or preamble, sunglasses her one concession to the summer day but otherwise as unaffected by the August sun as she no doubt will be by the coming autumn chill.

(Eva is rapidly coming to dislike Trish. Not because she is a demon, per se, but because it’s so fucking demoralising to constantly see the perfect version of herself; an Eva who will never succumb to sagging tits or a bloated stomach or even messy hair.)

“Are you all right? You’re sitting there like a ghost.”

Eva sips her tea to save herself from an immediate response. The cup is almost empty and the dregs are cold; she doesn’t remember drinking it.

“I’m fine.”

“Mm.” Trish doesn’t look as though she believes Eva in the slightest, but thankfully doesn’t push the issue. “Well, in that case, I have a favour to ask.”

“Oh?” Eva becomes instantly wary. Even as despondent as she feels, she knows better than to thoughtlessly promise a demon anything.

Something flashes in Trish’s eyes, gone too quickly for Eva to define it. The slow smile that curls the corners of her lips is equally inscrutable.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a favour for me, exactly,” she assures her, waving a perfectly manicured hand (again that familiar burst of jealousy towards a creature that could control their human physical appearance at will; Sparda had never had a bad hair day in his life--). “Lady heard you’re quite the dab hand with magic and she wanted to know if there were any goodies you could make for her, or teach her, or… whatever, really.”

“Last I saw, Lady has a tongue in her head,” Eva replies coolly.

Trish’s smile widens. “Oh, she does, but she’s out of town this week and when I saw you I thought I might as well ask now as later.”

“Mm.” Now it’s Eva’s turn to give Trish a searching look. She taps her nails (not perfectly manicured by any definition of the term) against her empty cup, wishing there was some left; she could make use of a timely pause to sip her tea and give herself a moment to think. “Well, I’m happy to talk to Lady about what she needs when she’s back in Capulet.”

“I’ll pass the message on.” With one flowing, elegant movement, Trish gets to her feet and stretches like a languid cat. “I’d better get going. See you around, Eva.”

“Yes, see you,” Eva mutters to her back; Trish is already going, sashaying through the park like she owns the place.

Something about this doesn’t smell right and Eva has sense enough to be cautious.

And yet… When she returns to Devil May Cry, she spends time going through the cupboards she’s restocked and checking her herbs. She uses the laptop Nero and Nico set her up with and finds websites that sell the supplies she needs -- whether advertised for witchcraft or otherwise -- and prepares lists of useful tricks; things that used to give her the edge she needed to survive another night.

It might not be useful for Lady -- if, indeed, Lady even asked the question -- but it’s useful for Eva. Practically, because she can’t be too careful even now, and in the abstract;  when she goes to bed that night, Eva sleeps better than she has in weeks. Her hands might be dry and her nails might be broken, but with her fingertips stained and smelling of herbs once again she almost begins to recognise herself.

----

To Eva’s palpable surprise, Lady does actually swing by Devil May Cry the following week.

“Trish told me she saw you,” Lady explains as she unholsters Kaline Ann and sets her down on the desk. “Did she tell you the kind of thing I was looking for?”

Because there is truth in this cover story that Lady and Trish have concocted between themselves. Yes, mainly they want to check on Eva, but it also never hurts for an old bitch to learn some new tricks.

And how does Eva look? Less like Trish than she used to; Eva has taken to shoving her hair up in a loose bun at the back of her head (the better, Lady assumes, to keep it out of her face now she was no longer playing lady of the manor) and has swapped her elegant black gown for a serviceable sweater and jeans. On her feet, Doc Martens. On her hands, broken nails and stained fingertips. In her eyes - fire.

“In passing.” Eva is - suspicious? Well, Lady can’t entirely blame her for still finding her feet with all of them, particularly Trish - though Trish herself had taken it as a compliment that Eva considered her enough potential trouble to be wary of.

“You’re welcome to anything I can teach you, although…” Eva’s gaze slides across and down to Kalina Ann. There is something distinctly hungry (covetous?) in her eyes. “You seem to have the offensive side pretty well covered.”

Lady grins, one firearms aficionado to another. “Give Nico a call if you want anything - you can’t beat the Goldsteins for guns and for you she’ll probably do it for free.”

That does it: the reserve cracks and Eva grins back. It is not the kind, motherly smile that Dante probably remembers. This is the smile that a tiger would give you if it could.

“Noted.” Eva pulls out a stack of books from one of the desk drawers. “Now, where do you want to start?”

It does not take long for Lady to be very, very glad she arranged this meeting. Eva is an absolute trove of knowledge. Much of it Lady already knows, and some of it is interesting but not strictly relevant -- Lady’s fighting style being much more full-on than Eva’s tactics lend themselves to -- but she still picks up plenty.

----

Nero is a dutiful, darling boy. He checks in with her, regular as clockwork, trying to disguise the anxiety in his voice. He doesn’t know how to be with her, but he tries nonetheless.

He asks her, often, to visit him in Fortuna; to meet his girlfriend and the children they have adopted. Eva demurs and lets him think she’s still putting off the inevitable label of grandmother. It’s not a total lie, but it’s far from the primary reason. Maybe, perceptive as he is (and he is; Sparda’s eyes staring at her, seeing straight through her despite the un-Sparda-ish mouthing off), he knows that, too, and is giving her time.

It’s just… what if they come back, and she isn’t here to greet them? What if they think she’s truly gone again? She can’t hurt her boys like that a second time. She can’t let them down again when they look for her, reach for her. God knows she was worth fuck-all to them then and even less now, as much protection as a paper cut-out, but if they know she’s willing to put herself between the two of them and danger, then… that’s something, isn’t it? However little, it’s something.

The latest attempt comes on a late autumn evening. October is slipping away, each dark evening bringing them a little closer to Halloween. The most enterprising of the local children have already ventured out trick-or-treating with the excuse that the 31st is a school night, and Eva watches troupes of ghosties and ghoulies and long-legged beasties parade past the windows with a bittersweet smile. She bought a bag of candy but doesn’t really expect any trick-or-treaters; Dante, with good reason, didn’t take pains to encourage the local kids to come calling.

Nero and Nico pull up, a welcome interruption to her descent into melancholy, out of breath but radiant from their latest skirmish. They stop by Devil May Cry on the pretence of leaving word for Morrison that payment is due, but Nero could do that himself on the little computer phone he carries around with him. In reality, they’re checking on her.

Eva doesn’t mind, really. She likes the company, and the kids (God, she calls them kids, they’re not that much younger than she is) are energetic; it’s hard to be actively maudlin when refereeing a shouting match. Nico especially is nosy and almost impossible to brush off or offend. On every visit, she wheedles a few more secrets out of Eva’s recipe books. Lately, Eva has been amusing herself by giving her tidbits and letting Nico reverse-engineer either the process or the product. Usually, she gets it right. Occasionally, she comes up with something better.

Tonight, though, Eva feels even harder to cheer than normal. Nico is put off by a wad of cash to get takeout -- Sparda laid the bounty of the world at her feet, but Nero and Nico are giving her a world tour laden with grease -- leaving Eva and Nero alone for half an hour. Nero has unchecked notebook privileges, as long as he’s careful with them, and he flicks through the entries thoughtfully.

“How did you learn all this stuff in the first place?”

“It depends which stuff we’re talking about.” Eva leans over his shoulder, pointing to the pages. “Sparda gave me a lot of them; things he’d picked up over the years, I don’t even know where from. But this one -- here -- that was from a hunter I partnered up with a lot in the early days. These tisanes were from my aunt. I used to say she should have been born a mediaeval herb-woman, except they’d have hung her for a witch.”

But Nero has stopped looking at the pages. He’s looking at her instead; thoughtful, in a way that is so Vergil it makes her heart skip a beat.

“What were they like, your family?”

“My family...” How long has it been since family wasn’t Sparda and the boys? How much longer since it meant the house she grew up in, and the people who populated it? “Oh, they -- they’re long gone. Better not to dwell. I have the boys,” Except she doesn’t. “And you, of course.”

Nero isn’t diverted, not for a moment, and the tilt of his eyebrows is pure Vergil. But he lets it go for now.

They taper off into silence. It lasts for a few minutes, Eva turning over possibilities in her mind. The words, when they come, are nevertheless a surprise; something she hadn’t meant to let loose.

“My father was a twin,” she says abruptly. “He and my uncle were thick as thieves. I always used to hope I’d have twins -- they say it skips a generation, so I thought it was likely I would -- and then they’d both always have a friend.”

She lets out a hollow little laugh. A friend. What a fucking fairytale.

Where did she go so wrong? Yes, the boys had always had their spats, but Eva had chalked that up to a mixture of their demonic blood and the marked differences in their personalities, watchful but not truly worried. She tried to encourage them to get along, to talk out their problems, but had also comforted herself that it was something they would grow out of as they got older and developed a bit more emotional maturity. Siblings fought; it was perfectly normal. Even she and Elijah--

Eva squeezes her eyes closed. She can’t think about Elijah right now.

A warm, calloused hand covers her own and Eva opens her eyes to see Nero watching her, his expression unusually serious.

“It’s not your fault,” he tells her, quietly but with a forceful conviction behind his words that reminds her of Sparda. “Yeah, they’re idiots, and they’re both kind of fucked up in their own ways, but it’s not your fault. They’d be a lot worse if it hadn’t been for you.”

Is that true? Eva isn’t sure which is worse; that she has ruined her boys, or that they would somehow be even worse without her.

But none of this is Nero’s problem. Grandson, she reminds herself once again. Grandson. Not a peer, not a comrade to lean on. A young man she needs to protect.

Pull yourself together, Eva.

----

Eventually, Eva gets sick of sitting around Devil May Cry waiting for something to happen.

She has never been a passive person. Eva makes things happen. Ever since Lady asked for some tricks to help her on hunts, Eva has been building up her supplies again. Restocking her herbs, potions, and powders. Dusting off Dante’s collection of magic books (a surprisingly comprehensive collection; Vergil had always been the bookworm, while Dante was too much of a fidget-bottom to sit still for five minutes)  and reminding herself of her favourite cantrips. Eventually, she contracts Nico to make her a pair of guns like her old ones.

The last time Eva felt so lost, she was drowning in grief for her husband and it ended in tragedy for her sons. She will not make the same mistake twice. Reaching back through the years, breaking down the walls she had so carefully built up, she remembers how it felt to be fifteen and alone; fifteen and desperate; fifteen and unstoppable.

Then she asks Morrison for some work.

As a young woman trying to break into this line of work, Eva had gotten used to the looks she elicited from these “brokers”. The initial amusement, thinking she’s joking. The surprise when they realise she isn’t. The patronising shake of the head as they assure her this is no work for a pretty little lady like her. Finally, the shock and anger as they hastily reconsidered their position with a gun jammed up against their throats.

Over time, she’d gotten a reputation for being an infernal bitch who was extremely good at what she did, which meant the work came easier. Eventually, by the time she met Sparda, she’d been running her own jobs without a broker at all - unless they were coming to her for a favour.

But that was then. Now she’s back to square one. Unproved. Untried. Untested. It’s aggravating but Eva knows she’ll have to just deal with it if she wants an in.

Because Eva is pretty sure she can talk Morrison into kicking a few jobs her way. Asking Lady, or Nero, or Trish to share, though? It will all be there - amusement, surprise, disbelief - and the worst thing of all is that they will be speaking not from baseless stereotyping but all too real knowledge.

Dante told us all about it, Eva. You barely lasted a minute when the demons attacked, isn’t that right? This is way too much for you.

No. She will work until she has beaten the softness out of herself. Until she can go back to them on an even footing. Until it’s second nature once again to have gunpowder on her clothes and the spark of magic at her fingertips. Until the Underworld has learned to fear Sparda’s whore again.

Then she will get their respect, rather than their pity.

Morrison drops by periodically for coffee and a chat. There hasn’t been any money-grubbing yet; Dante owns the office outright - Eva has seen the deed and it’s real enough - and the bills are being paid out of his last earnings. It won’t last forever, but it’s been enough to take one worry off Eva’s mind so far.

Instead, Morrison seems to simply enjoy her company, or maybe he just can’t kick the habit of showing up at Devil May Cry to see Dante. Whatever the reason, Eva enjoys his visits and his dry humour. What Morrison makes of her, she’s not sure; Eva had told him, in a tone that made it clear she was lying, that she was Trish’s long-lost sister. Morrison had simply chuckled and refrained from asking any questions.

That’s one thing Eva always did like about brokers; they’re the kind of people who don’t ask difficult, unnecessary questions.

“You’ve got this place looking real good, Eva.” Morrison looks around with genuine admiration and gestures with his lit cigarette to the spider plant growing ever larger in the corner. “Way better than Dante ever did. Mother of God, the state I’ve seen this office in… well. Maybe best not to elaborate too much there.”

Eva laughs, remembering how Dante always tried his best to weasel out of his chores. Even getting him to make his bed was a challenge. It seems he hasn’t improved with age.

“It’s certainly been quite the project. But, now that it’s done, I’ve been thinking I need something else to do.” Eva watches Morrison carefully, waiting for his reaction. “Do you have any work for me?”

Morrison smirks. “Getting bored already? Yeah, I got a few things on the back burner - the kind of stuff the other ladies think they’re too good for, if you catch my drift, and the kid really has got his hands full.”

...Okay, that was absurdly easy. Eva narrows her eyes, but Morrison doesn’t look like he’s trying to mock her. On the contrary, when he sees her expression, he holds his hands up in mock surrender.

“Hey, I don’t control the work that comes in! Besides, pay is pay, am I right?”

“I’m looking for hunting work,” Eva says pointedly, wondering if he’s mistaken her meaning.

“Yeah, yeah, I got you.” Morrison chuckles as he takes a drag on his cigarette. “What, were you expecting me to say no? If nobody will do the work, I won't get paid either.”

“I…” Eva is floored. All of her preparation, all that time spent rehearsing her arguments, and it turns out she doesn’t need any of them. “I was expecting, uh…”

“Pushback?” Morrison gives her a knowing look. “Do you really think I’d have lasted this long with those ladies if I trotted out that kind of line? As far as I’m concerned, if you hang around with Dante, Lady, and Trish, then you know what you’re doing and you can take care of yourself.”

Morrison pulls a notebook out of his pocket and rifles through it, humming under his breath. He tears out a page and walks over to lay it on Eva’s desk.

“Here are the details. Just give me a call when you’re done with them and I’ll arrange your payment. Damages come out of your cut, mind you. If everything goes well, I’ll see what else I have for you.”

----

It really is grunt work, but Eva doesn’t mind; she’s not arrogant enough to think she could jump single-handedly into something like Red Grave, guns blazing.

The job also isn't urgent - hence Morrison being lackadaisical about bullying someone into taking it - which gives her the leisure of reconnaissance and planning time.

An empusa nest out on some waste ground that a local developer bought before noticing his unexpected squatters. Straightforward enough, although Eva takes more precautions than she thinks are necessary just in case. After all, she’s seen her judgement is far from perfect.

But in the end, all goes smoothly. No nasty surprises. Just some nasty stains on the concrete from empusas blown to kingdom come. Eva grimaces at them, hoping they don’t count as “damages”. The land is being developed anyway, right? Surely they’ll be putting down fresh tarmac?

In the end, Morrison does take a cut from her pay, but it’s less than she feared and so Eva swallows it with as much good grace as she can muster. The stack of notes is a reassuring weight in her hand. Ballast, though for (or against) what, she’s not entirely sure. The important thing is that she’s done a competent enough job that Morrison leaves her with the details of another couple of jobs. In this way a reputation is built.

“Morrison,” Eva calls out just before he leaves.

Morrison pauses on the threshold. There’s a beat before he looks back at her over his shoulder and Eva gets the impression he knows exactly what she’s about to ask.

“Do you think he’s coming back?”

Because Morrison is not Trish, or Lady, or Nero. He does not know her connection to these people. To Dante. So he has no reason to lie to her or spare her feelings.

He sucks in a breath, considering. “You know, I’d gotten to the point where I never thought I’d see anything Dante didn’t come back from. So many times I thought he was in way over his head, only for him to walk away laughing. But this job… this felt different from the start. Gave me a sort of -- premonition, you might say.”

A soft hum; something that might have been a laugh, if there was any humour in it, and Morrison shook his head.

“The truth is, Eva, I don’t know. I really don’t. He could come waltzing back in here tomorrow, carrying a pizza and laughing at us all for ever doubting him. Or we might never see him again.”

Eva sinks slowly into the desk chair, feeling the truth of it in her bones. A tidal wave of exhaustion crashes over her, threatening to drown her in one clean swoop. Tired of worry. Tired of uncertainty. Tired of never even having the cold comfort of a body to bury. Tired of that tiny speck of hope that even now refused to be snuffed out completely because, however ridiculous it was to expect it, there was still the chance--

“I knew someone else like that, once,” she hears herself say. “He never did come back.”

Morrison gives her a searching look. He seems, for a moment, to be on the verge of saying something more, but in the end refrains. Instead, he tips his hat to her.

“You take care, Eva.”

“Yeah,” Eva replies distantly. “You too, Morrison.”

----

The work is important for more than Eva’s ego.

Her blood sings in her veins once again. The hum of power at her fingertips, like the whine of electricity. A promise, maybe even a vow if you were so inclined to call it such, that one day in the none-too-distant future a small slice of the world would once again turn at Eva’s call and beckoning. She has known this once before when playing lady of the manor. Now, the power is both weaker, for lack of Sparda’s force bolstering her, and sweeter, for knowing it is all of her own clawing and devising.

Her blood sings and Eva tastes iron and lightning on her tongue. Her fingers smell of metal and herbs and something no mortal can rightly put words to; the tang of the Underworld and the burning sulphur of demons.

When Eva looks at her reflection in the chipped bathroom mirror and sees an old, familiar light in her eyes, she knows it is time.

Very little magic needs to be complicated. The point is will, and the directing of it. For those unfamiliar with the craft then the trimmings of rituals and candles can go a long way in finding that direction.

For those who live long enough to become old hands, just the thinking, coupled with the right runes, is enough. Eva takes a sharp knife, a handful of herbs, and a silver-backed mirror (in this, old ways are better; a mercury mirror would work better still, but this will do for now)... and she searches.

Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, soul of my soul, I seek thee now. Come to me, come to me, come to me…

It is a powerful spell. Kinfinding may not be enough to physically draw her boys forth from the Underworld, but it should at least show them to her in the scrying mirror.

Eva seeks until her blood runs dangerously thin and her head pounds and her vision begins to darken. She seeks further still until she knows herself at the very precipice of what she can safely come back from… and only then, with great reluctance, does she let the spell go.

She has not seen them, either of them, even once.

----

Eventually, it feels meaningless to even keep up the pretence she thinks the boys are coming back.

What has happened to them is almost immaterial. The nightmare scenarios are so numerous that eventually they blur together into one long snuff film that leaves her numb. Like Sparda, they were there and then they were not. Like Sparda, she will never know what exactly happened.

Devil May Cry becomes part tomb, part cocoon. She has saved enough money to keep Morrison at bay for a while even after Dante’s funds run out, and she continues to take work for the sake of it, though she doesn’t keep track of her income versus expenditures. If or when the money runs out, she’s not sure. It’s pointless to think so far ahead. Perhaps she’ll just die, like she should have before.

A wife without a husband. A mother without sons. Once, she would have vomited at the thought of a woman identifying herself by the men in her life, but somehow it crept up on her over the years and now she’s left with gaping, bloody holes that gung-ho feminist rhetoric does nothing to paste over.

Nobody seems to notice the change in her philosophy. Though, she gets precious few visitors anyway. Trish and Lady leave her to her own devices, having apparently satisfied their curiosity about her. Morrison has tapered off their tete-a-tetes and only shows up when he wants money. Nero is a busy boy these days.

One night she dreams about them. The dream is very similar to the ones she used to have about Sparda; lifelike, almost lucid dreaming, where everything was the same - she is in bed, having just awoken - except he is there, smiling gently, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

Sleeping in, Eva?

Dreaming about the boys is very similar. She dreams she awakens in the night to a sound downstairs. There is no panic of a break-in; nobody bothers her these days. Voices, muffled, from the floor below. Eva calmly gets out of bed, registering even the rustle of the sheets and the cold, bare wooden boards under her feet. She pads slowly out of the bedroom to the top of the stairs.

There they are, standing in the centre of the office, illuminated perfectly by a strip of moonlight through the window. It is like a picture. It is too perfect and too easy. This is how she knows she is dreaming.

Still, for the first time in months, her heart eases.

They are talking softly to each other, too softly for her to catch the words (there is a limit, she concedes, to just how much even her vivid imagination can conjure). Eva doesn’t mind. She stands at the mezzanine and soaks them in.

Dante gestures to the stairs and looks up. He freezes as their eyes meet. Vergil, a half-heartbeat behind his twin, mirrors him.

“...Hey,” Dante croaks, the gesturing hand that had fallen still now awkwardly waving. “We’re home!”

This is more than she expected. Eva’s throat constricts. Even her dreams of Sparda were not so vivid or so long.

“You’re late, boys,” she manages after a moment. “Dinner was hours ago.”

She is trying for levity, trying to play her part in this scene, trying to piece together something happy for when she wakes up, but her voice cracks halfway through the sentence and she finds herself choking on a sob.

Dante is halfway up the stairs in a moment, hand outstretched to her. Eva, too, is reaching out to her little boy and she cries out when she finally has her arms around him again.

She does not get even a heartbeat of joy before the world collapses into shadows and flames. Dante dissolves, her arms closing around thin air, and the staircase morphs into an endless corridor to hell. Her boys are nowhere to be seen, but she can hear them screaming.

Or maybe she just hears her own voice, screaming herself awake.

There are more dreams, afterwards; more recognisable for what they are. Her life runs before her eyes in reverse. Searching for the boys. Watching Sparda walk away for the last time. The face of every person she never saved. Then, at last, the denouement: Elijah, torn open. Her father and uncle staring sightless into an abyss. Her mother reduced to so many scattered chunks of meat.

Eventually, because Eva is someone who makes things happen, not someone things simply happen to, she makes the decision to go back. She has faced Red Grave; faced the ruined manor. It is time to face much older ghosts.

It is a private matter, and so Eva tells nobody of her intentions. She lets Morrison know she will be out of town on personal business, timeline uncertain; she will give him a call when she’s back. He is free, in the interim, to pass her usual work on to other sources.

For anyone else (because she still hopes, deep down, that her boys will one day come home), she leaves a note on her desk.

Out of town for a while.

Eva re-reads the brief scribble and wonders what else to add before realising there really is nothing more to add. No forwarding address or contact number, because she does not want anyone to find her. Anyone who wants her, can wait until she comes back.

She makes it ten minutes out from the city before she turns back to scribble an address at the bottom of her note.

Just in case.

----

Plane tickets are cheap these days, and she has a passport courtesy of Morrison, but Eva elects to drive. Call her old-fashioned, or even just plain curmudgeonly in her old age (ha), but Eva likes the hum of a good motor much better than the press of noisy crowds.

Besides, she’d need a car at the other end of the flight anyway, where she’s going. She can even call it a vacation if she finds a motel to spend each night in. If not -- she’s slept in a car before and it won’t kill her to do it again, especially when the rental is much more comfortable than any old banger she’s passed a night in before.

Highways turn to country lanes as she veers further and further off the beaten track. The temperature drops, too; winter in the shadow of the Appalachian mountains is nothing to sneeze at. Eva has forgotten a lot of things over the years (too many things), but she remembers that. Funny how events and people slide slowly but surely from her mind but sensory impressions remain: the icy, pinesap-tinged tang of morning air in winter; the crackle of a fire; the warm doughy smell and pillowy softness of homemade dinner rolls.

Become someone else, she’d told her younger son as their world burned around them. Change your name, change yourself, and hide. Not easy, no, nothing like easy -- but possible, for the right price. For the price of giving up who you were before.

Except no bargain is ever so neat and no transaction ever so complete.

[fried-trash]

Please…

Share your Misty lore and headcannons….

HOOOOBOY Well I got A LOT to share then, I'll be saving all the override stuff for later in the post. Formatting will be a little bit wack since so much of it ties into itself. Also I'll be occasionally talking about Graham and Flint too since they have some shared stuff, and Flint is really involved with my Misty. Also it will all range from paragraphs to singular sentences

Also some of this gets dark, I'll only be sharing fragments of all that. the Eva au was the tip of the iceberg here

Also I'll be willing to go into anything more specific or related to my aus if asked separately

But yeah to start off with, my take on Misty isn't fully robotic, which is shared with my Graham. Honestly kinda funny since within my little personal canon, Misty is Flint's younger sibling, so Misty and graham are kinda forced to get along, and they're surprisingly chill with eachother even if Graham seems like he'd be too overwhelming for Misty to deal with.

As for how the mechanical parts of their body function, it's honestly like how the Automail from Fullmetal Alchemist functions, being directly connected to the nervous system.

The override was installed in a pretty similar way to the other mechanical parts of her body but rather than being a limb... Yay! Brain chip! All of it was just experiments to see if a human could be converted into an actual cog basically.

Shark teeth? Yes, Shark teeth. Also they have a child! my buddies on discord are very well aware of the backstory and a half I have for the child but Misty basically just scooped up an abandoned toon child up off the street. Random event that was very good for her mental health!

For the longest time, Misty was pretty much completely unaware that the override even existed. Flint was actually the one who found out but they were told to not even tell anyone about it. Flint just... felt awful about the whole situation and ended up naming it Tempest (ironically, the internal project name for this Override) since it just felt a bit too dehumanizing to just refer to it as "The Override" and nothing else when he knew misty was still somewhere hidden away whenever it was active.

(Here's the very much WIP ref file I have for Tempest that I add on to whenever I get new headcanons for it specifically!)

bruh I had to screenshot each half individually because Tumblr did NOT like the full file

[bedazzlingevagiatti]

Character/plot call on tumblr or discord.

Ooc: I kinda want to write Eva against her first Ex Niccolo. They have an intense backstory, and if anyone likes to write villains, please let me know. If you don't like his name or all their headcanons, I'm willing to change them too.

Alternatively: I think I just want angsty plots for Eva. This can be a whole new relationship (can be nonromantic) situation, or someone from Eva's past. I'm super flexible on some things. Dm for discord if you want my RP server.

[viioletshadows]

Still working on the “4 lords having family game night” headcanons but in the meantime take some sad Donna headcanons because i love her and i just wanna fill in the missing pieces of her backstory.

So we all know about the gravestone outside the beneviento residence, the gravestone for Claudia. I think by the birth and death dates it’s safe to assume that Claudia is Donna’s sister, whether she be an older sister or Donna’s twin, that’s not important (personally i like to think of them as twins).

I saw someone else headcanon this so i’m gonna add my own little spin on it: Claudia died very young, which might have been the reason Donna’s parents died (double suicide, perhaps?). Claudia might have been Mother Miranda’s first choice of a possible vessel for Eva before Donna, taking Claudia away to experiment on her. Inevitably, something goes wrong and Claudia dies. Donna’s parents end up dead one way or another shortly thereafter, and Donna is promptly taken in by Miranda, as Miranda’s begrudging backup to Claudia: the second choice.

I think this personally makes a lot of sense, we aren’t given a whole lot of details on Miranda and Donna’s relationship but from Miranda’s writings about Donna in her file, she seems so “meh” about Donna. There isn’t the hatred like she feels towards Moreau but reading through Donna’s file, you can really feel the disappointment in Miranda’s words. Donna wasn’t even the first choice, Donna just happened to be the sole survivor of the Beneviento family after the tragedy that was Claudia. And Miranda, being a stone cold opportunist, took advantage of this lonely, grieving child and worked with what she had. Kind of like going to the kitchen and looking for a specific food, finding that you don’t have it, picking something else up and going “this works too i guess”. Donna is just yet another failed experiment, and not even the one she wanted at that.

I feel like Donna can tell Miranda doesn’t think highly of her, but Donna is so starved for love and connection from years upon years of isolation that she’ll do anything to get Miranda to give her the tiniest bit of praise. Donna isn’t entirely innocent in everything, she’s killed people for the sake of Mother Miranda, but she’s a victim of circumstance and a tragic figure. Basically left alone to decay in her house all by herself, her only company being her dolls.

There are times when Donna considered leaving the village, running away to start her life somewhere else. But every time she looks in the mirror, all she can perceive is a monster, a creature so unlovable that this was the best she would ever get, so why would she throw it away? (Probably all things Mother Miranda has told her over the years to manipulate her into staying)

A slightly less sad headcanon, but I like to think that Alcina partially raised Donna until she was old enough to take over House Beneviento properly. Miranda doesn’t want to actually raise the children that aren’t hers, so she hands them off to Lady Dimitrescu. Donna and Alcina have a close sisterly relationship, and Donna will sometimes bring Angie and stay at the castle when she gets just too lonely to stay in her house anymore.

Donna is a good singer and even better at playing the piano. Alcina would often hire temporary caretakers to take Donna to operas and other such productions when she was still young, and Donna was so enamored that she wanted to be like that too. First, Alcina got her voice lessons, and then piano lessons. Tucked away in her house is a grand piano that she will still play on occasion. It’s a beautiful, but haunting tune, just like the woman who plays it.

Maybe i’ll add more to this later when I’m not so tired and this is probably really disorganized and just a bunch of rambling about my current favorite comfort character but here it is regardless. If anything isn’t canon compliant it’s totally because this is an au and not because i haven’t actually played the game and if i tried to on my computer it would burst into flames.

Anyways fuck miranda.

[swanqueensalad]

TRIGGERWARNING!

Without triggering anyone I wanna ask two things:

1) Was Cora ever physically abbussive towards Regina?

2) I know many ppl's head canon is that Leopold raped Regina again and again as his bride, but is that your headcanon too?

ok again TRIGGER WARNING for abuse & SA (and brief mention of suicide) for anyone reading/scrolling!

i'm going to just explain my personal interpretation of the show and these subjects, bc i find regina so interesting and heartbreaking. and i actually do think part of what makes regina so fascinating as a character is her relationship within the cycle of abuse and how yes, she was incredibly hurt and manipulated all her life, but she eventually managed to break free of it all and work to be better for her own child.

buckle up because i have a lot of feelings and this is probably going to be LONG

so, my thoughts on exactly what happened and why regina is as fucked up as she is:

so yeah, cora was a horrific parent. it's canon that she abused regina both emotionally and physically for practically all her life.

in practically her very first scene, we see cora using magic to hurt her eighteen year old daughter - to violently restrain her/drop her to the ground when she 'misbehaves' which pretty clearly says this is a woman who uses power and fear as a control tactic, and is not afraid of physically hurting regina.

and if this is what she was doing when regina is almost an adult, i think it's safe to assume she's been doing it since she was very young - regina's response 'please don't, i'll be good' is the conditioned response of a much younger child. everything about the way regina was written, her relationship with cora, and the way lana and the directors chose to play it screams abuse victim. she is hypervigilant - she jumps when people come close or make sudden noises. when she's choked with magic she immediately knows not to struggle or fight back. as a young girl, she is terrified of doing things wrong.

(also, when we get the flashback to actual 10 year old regina, cora says she can't help her because 'it needs to be someone who's magic has never hurt her')

while i think most of the time cora relied on magic to physically punish regina - knowing how much regina particularly hated it/was afraid of it - i think she was definitely not above slapping her for more minor infractions

beyond just physical abuse, cora was clearly emotionally distant and got regina to a place of being pretty touch-starved and desperate for affection. (lana and barbara play this so masterfully as well) we see her being constantly, nastily critical of everything her daughter does.

i think it's also implied in the regina rising book that cora was controlling/restrictive of regina's food to ensure she stayed thin/attractive which is just a whole other can of worms

as for leopold. please bear with me while i RANT:

nothing will ever make me more mad than the fact this man was never held accountable in the narrative for his role in regina's story and how absolutely fucking awful he was.

first of all, even before he meets regina, he is dodgy af. he supposedly genuinely loves cora, but throws her out immediately when he discovers her pregnancy without even asking her if it's true/discussing it. also, even in that flashback the man is visibly much older than cora and even more so than eva, who he actually does marry (although i do believe they came to truly love each other). so yeah he has a habit of Not Listening to women and not looking at women his own age

and then we get to regina. the eighteen year old daughter of his ex fiancee (younger even than the unborn child who cora carried when she was engaged to him)

yes i think he raped her. because powerful old men do not marry pretty eighteen year olds for the company. (also, if it was just so snow would have a mother figure, well, she already had her maid joanna. and if snow really wanted regina around that badly, leopold could have just brought her to court as a lady in waiting, a fitting role for a noblewoman, and more appropriate seeing as regina was only about eight years older than snow)

regina is visibly distressed by the proposal. she is panicked. she looks to her father to help. cora accepts the proposal for her. and leopold does not care. i think this tells u all u need to know about his views on consent

(also it all gets ickier when you remember leopold was attracted to cora, and regina is considered to look like cora did when she was younger)

leopold clearly had zero interest in regina as a person. he used her for arm candy for events, to make snow happy, and to keep his bed warm. (later, he invades her privacy so much regina counts on him reading her diary as a thoughtless and integral part of a plan, and locks her up for receiving a present from another man) and yet he is never treated as a villain or ever held accountable (besides regina killing him - good for her - but even then it's framed more as a way to villainise her for tricking sidney) and it makes me FURIOUS

i sometimes see the take that leopold might have stopped raping her towards the latter years of their marriage, but i disagree - i think maybe it did get fewer and farther between, but regina was still his wife who he only saw as serving a few purposes, and the way he is so possessive of her in 1x011 makes no sense otherwise, seeing as he was so uninterested in her in every other way

i do think a lot of regina's rage and vendetta against snow is because of this abuse too.

hear me out: in s1 especially, both snow and regina refer to snow as 'ruining her life'. because regina blamed her for everything that happened to her. not only did snow cause daniel's murder, it was her desire for regina as a mother that prompted leopold to marry her.

and this marriage was hell. and i think people don't realise how long it lasted either - snow went from a child to at least her late teens before regina killed leopold. regina was a traumatised young girl, grieving the love of her life, with no friends, no allies, nobody except the literal dark one who was grooming her for his own gain. (no wonder she clung to the brief sense of freedom and control his lessons offered. no wonder she nearly killed herself.)

and while regina suffered, she was forced to play with snow white every day, who was so spoiled, so loved, so happy, and had no idea of the life she had unwittingly trapped regina in.

so yeah, it's all pretty dark.

and it's for all these reasons i think ouat ended up shying away from many more regina backstory episodes centring on the time she was married/pre-evil queen years, because they were on abc after all, and i don't think they were really equipped to deal with the horrendousness of the story they'd created

but lana most certainly did her work becaue i think all of this nuance does show in her portrayal

and it all just makes regina's ending - the good queen, in her own name, safe and strong and loved, part of a true family, her bond with snow healed - so much more of a relief.

[blackhallow]

milfyuki 4 eva !!! but fr tho i wonder what yuki was like before her milformation/transformilfation and what exactly did spur this all on (mommy issues??????) (im so proud of my creation, i think, maybe, who knows!)

todo was like the starting point and nobamaki were the ones that made the whole transformation i think and then after that its free reign at her house

(part 2 of the series: "oh ya the apartment is like a super secret secure place !!" part 3: "toge mixed food dye with the shampoo and the 3rd tv broke")

i am so invested and entertained by your writing and i rly hope u can tell

satoru having a midlife crisis abt adulthood felt real (a little too real to the point where ngl i felt attacked too....everything okay???!?!?!?) but at the same time sir??? are u okay??? ( i love it when writers make satoru depressed but like the humor coping type i just love angst i love it so much pls hurt me more i love crying over fictional characters )

aoi's sister on her way to turn tsumiki apeshit i will always live for!! nobara just like me fr she would rather go thru a full on elaborate plan involving vandalism shit rather than doing her homework we love a relatable queen i hate homework too

i am so invested and entertained by your writing and i rly hope u can tell

MAN sdjfdsjhs I think about Yuki a lot. I think about Yuki every day, she's just always spinning in my brain like a rotisserie chicken I love her, I do wonder why she decided to randomly take in a boy she saw fighting on the side of the road, like??? She's so ridiculous, she's so shady, she's so funny, she could kill everyone (probably), she contains multitudes. Anyways. I have a lot of very specific headcanons about her backstory I'm sure one day I'll write them down lmao. They don't involve mommy issues but now you've given me even more stuff to think about...

This ask is absolutely taking me out skdhfsk you're so funny anon. The contrast between all 3 parts of the series is honestly one of my favorite things ever, idk what was I thinking. And I'm really glad you're invested!! :D

Poor Gojo lmfao, maybe I was projecting on him when I wrote that scene honestly, I'm still not sure, and humorous angst always hits different... Also not you calling Nobara "Aoi's sister" I'm going to scream they're the weirdest family ever :) Unfortunately for everyone involved (except us because we will be entertained), Nobara will continue to be a menace hehe.... Thanks for this ask, it made me laugh a lot!

[ghostcat3000]

SKAM season 3 talkback series: episode 4, “Keen på å bade”

The SKAM season 3 rewatch talkback series was done in conjunction with a first-time watch for a small group of newbies. I talked to a cross-section of fans about each episode so our newbies could get a varied taste of what the SKAM fandom was about.

Talk back with the sweet and spicy @hakkepippern​ (aka Ane_Rikke on AO3)

SKAM 3.4: Keen på å bade conducted on 3, November 2019

@ghostcat3000​: Hello! Hello!

@hakkepippern​: Hello!

Ghostcat: Welcome to the most low-rent interview on Discord!

hakkepippern: Thank you!

Ghostcat: My laptop has chose this precise moment to shut down so please excuse all typos while I make it happen on this here iPhone.

hakkepippern: My iPad is not shut down, and I still will make typos

@modestytreehouse​: Classic laptop-move.

Ghostcat: Excellent :thumbsup: Thank you, @hakkepippern: for joining us today to talk about the first game changer episode of the season: Keen på å bade

hakkepippern: My pleasure :smiley:

Ghostcat: My first question is actually from our previous guest, @newyearsirresolution: "What did you think of Isak and Sana's relationship at this point in the season?"

hakkepippern: Oooo! Up until now we have seen how Sana tried to trick Isak to come to that kose-meeting.

Ghostcat: She Escobar’d him.

hakkepippern: I am not sure if it was love with first sight, but Ms Tits made Sana & Isak happen.

Ghostcat: Nipples forced them together and in doing so, made one of my SKAM wish list things come true

hakkepippern: In this episode they have started texting outside classes.

Ghostcat: That’s right! Is this the first appearance of Sanasol and Isabell?

hakkepippern: I think we can say they have established a tone.

treehouse: Isak is asking her for a favour, isn't he?

hakkepippern: Yes, he is! Sana is accusing him of cheating, he won´t have that and they end up calling each other Isabell and Sanasol.

Ghostcat: I love that she calls him that and his only response is a droll “original.”

hakkepippern: Hahaha. I think we can see clearly how good friends they already are in the clip over bio books.

Ghostcat: Not ‘stop’ or ‘no’ or ‘please don’t’ - Isak accepts that he’s Isabell now. He capitulates.

hakkepippern: :heart: They know each other so well already.

Ghostcat: One of the things I love about Isak is that he’s a good student.

hakkepippern: Yes!

Ghostcat: It’s such a random detail but it tracks. Much like how I loved that Eva wasn’t.

hakkepippern: So dedicated even though his life is a mess.

Ghostcat: His life is falling apart but he is getting that 6.

hakkepippern: Oh, Isak.

Ghostcat: Confession: whenever I want to bum myself out over Isak’s backstory, I think about him studying in that Kollektiv basement, using light from his phone. I AM FUN.

@irazor​: :sob:

hakkepippern: You made me cry now when I tried to write something coherent.

Ghostcat: Sorry.

newyearsirresolution: You're a horrible person.

Ghostcat: I am. I have a whole list of terrible Isak headcanons. We can discuss them while hakkepippern returns to coherence

hakkepippern: One thing I love about Sana and Isak in this clip is how their friendship already handles their arguing.

Ghostcat: They are very sibling-like.

hakkepippern: Yes! They throw insults at each other, and then they are back on track with studying.

Ghostcat: Our first time watchers were really stuck on the argument in this episode.

hakkepippern: How do you mean?

Ghostcat: I think they were tripped up with both of them being in the wrong—Isak for his clueless approach (which was hiding the reason he asked) and Sana for equating homosexuality with mental illness (even though she’s using that as deliberate provocation)

hakkepippern: I would be annoyed with Isak too, and can see how Sana wanted to address his ignorance.

Ghostcat: Were you annoyed at the time or were you more responsive to their nascent friendship?

hakkepippern: I was like Isak, “gaaaah come on.” But at the same time we see the texts from his mom, and I can understand why he needed to ask the question, maybe just to get it off his chest.

One thing about the texts though: I am not sure if all the misspellings in the texts got through in the translation?

Ghostcat: No. Like what? *leans in*

hakkepippern: She is clearly rambling, lots of typos, missing spaces.

Ghostcat: And not sleeping either. Sending 3am bible-quoting texts to her son.

hakkepippern: Yes :frowning:

Ghostcat: That’s fucking intense. But Isak just reads them in the same flat way he always reads them—like he’s used to it

hakkepippern: And I think maybe we can be a little forgiving towards Isak for not being very sensitive trying to Ask Sana about religion. It is so sad.

Ghostcat: If I can switch things up here, can you tell us about how you started watching SKAM and when?

hakkepippern: I can!

Ghostcat: :chin hands: (Also I'm finally on my laptop, technology... yay!)

hakkepippern: I started watching SKAM around March 2016. I had bought a spinning bike, and since I found it totally boring to use it, I started working out in front of TV.

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha. I love it.

hakkepippern: I scrolled through all the series on NRK and found this high school drama.

Ghostcat: This little teen show.

hakkepippern: I thought it could serve as a nice and easy distraction.

Ghostcat: Famous last words.

hakkepippern: I think I watched four ep of s1 before I started watching without the spinning bike-

Ghostcat: It sucks you right in. Some of our first watchers still miss ole Eva.

newyearsirresolution: (Me too.)

hakkepippern: -and I was used to binging so i was annoyed when i came to s2ep5 and there was nothing more. Then I realized that it said «follow skam everyday on P3.no» And I just hmm…

Ghostcat: Ruh roh.

hakkepippern: Started refreshing.

Ghostcat: Let the real-time fun commence!

hakkepippern: Hahaha. Not very obsessively in the beginning though.

Ghostcat: Most of season two's clips were posted at regular times though, right? It wasn't until season three that the middle of the night updates began.

hakkepippern: That's right.

Ghostcat: Dear lord, I feel for you, because I know my dumb ass would have watched at 3am.

hakkepippern: I wasn't totally out there, I could wait for work to be over before checking the site.

Ghostcat: Smart!

hakkepippern: This was still before summer ´16. It got out of hand.

Ghostcat: Oh, ha ha ha, so this was before.

hakkepippern: Oh yes.

Ghostcat: I have to ask...what did you think when you saw that trailer for Isak's season? I'm guessing you saw it when it was posted?

hakkepippern: I thought something like, ok that's a clear message.

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha, ya think? Were you like, meh, or were you intrigued and excited?

hakkepippern: I was really excited. It was Skam so I was already ready for a new season.

I was afraid we wouldn't see much of the girls though. But I got over that.

Ghostcat: The funniest thing so far about these guest talk backs is hearing people admit they were not that into the idea of an Isak season because ho hum here's another dude.

hakkepippern: It really got to me when I rewatched the Sjalu-clip. I am always tempted to fast forward.

Ghostcat: Is that when you knew you were fully all in?

hakkepippern: Shut up about Noorhelm! Isak is texting Even!

Ghostcat: It's EVAK TIME NOW

hakkepippern: I think I was full all-in already at the bathtub scene. I loved the boys. :heart:

Ghostcat: YES, I love that intro.

hakkepippern: Magnus and Mahdi!

Ghostcat: All these dummies in a bathtub. Ordinary boys.

hakkepippern: Yes!

Ghostcat: Not Porsche-driving financiers!

hakkepippern: We don't want that. Sorry.

Ghostcat: And now we've zipped forward to this episode...we ended with some serious laser eyes and almost-kissing... What did you expect going into 3.4? Were you caught up in the fever pitch of MAYBE SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN??? After all, they've started texting now with more regularity.

hakkepippern: It was quite clear that Even wanted something with Isak. After the let down on Saturday when he said see you at school.

Ghostcat: That is a deflating moment. Followed by Eskild's comments to Noora about people leaving others to be with their real loves.

hakkepippern: :frowning: Even texts him Sunday evening anyway. Drops a random meme just like that. Or maybe not “just like that.”

Ghostcat: Even's ancient Seinfeld memes are headscratchers but Isak is so into him he's clearly in that everything-you-do-is-fascinating-to-me phase. SEINFELD MEMES. What a creation Even is.

hakkepippern: WHAT IS IT WITH KIDS WATCHING SEINFELD OF ALL THINGS.

Ghostcat: Usually it's F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

hakkepippern: Well they can have both. Lol.

Ghostcat: We watch Isak struggle with his locker/metaphor and Even sidles up, smoothly, suggesting they pre-game before the Halloween party and Isak is like :slight_smile: OKAY head nod, head nod.

hakkepippern: He is easily persuaded. He is. Both texts from Even set a different vibe before 21.21. 

Ghostcat: Even’s texts are very important, I think much more so than other seasons, in terms of establishing character.

hakkepippern: But what about throwing trash behind the lockers? 

Ghostcat: One of our first watchers is a high school teacher―she KNEW that trash toss.

hakkepippern: Yikes.

Ghostcat: She sees boys do it all the time. The details, the details on this show. *Chef's kiss*

Speaking of texts―there's an important one here because when Emma shows up and tells Isak THEY'RE pre-gaming with Even and his girlfriend and Isak looks like ??? The texts clarify that their involvement wasn't Even's plan at all.

hakkepippern: Yes, that´s a really important text!

Ghostcat: Which must have been interesting to see in real time...because it clearly reads as: I wanted it to be just the two of us.

hakkepippern: Even clearly tries to make Sonja less important.

Ghostcat: Which... :eyes: She's his "party planner."

hakkepippern: She is just in charge.

Ghostcat: The "liaison" concerned with punctuality.

hakkepippern: All just to plan Even and Isak’s pre-party.

Ghostcat: And Isak plays along but I do love his, "yeah... what's that about?" < also admitting he thought it was a solo hang, JUST BROS.

hakkepippern: Aaaaw yes.

Ghostcat: This was a Friday clip, did you see it in real time, on a Friday?

hakkepippern: Yes, I did! I was waiting for it :smile: Refreshing.

Ghostcat: You must have been so disappointed. What a boring clip. Nothing happens.

hakkepippern: When it started I was like, where did this mood come from? But looking closely, Even is really trying to make eye contact with Isak so the can bond outside the stupid conversation between Emma and Sonja.

Ghostcat: Oh you mean Even being a scratchy scrawl of displeasure? YES. He's trying. But Isak is avoiding his eyes.

hakkepippern: But Isak is not looking back though.

Ghostcat: If you look at gifs of that scene (which I do extensively like it was my job) you can see the precise moments Isak slips and looks at him. Seconds. Where his glance changes and he looks decisively breathless.

hakkepippern: And when the girls leave, Isak is desperately trying to come up with something to say. 

Ghostcat: I HeaRD a LOt Of PeoPLe WIll Be THerE.

hakkepippern: When Even is all scratch-talking, let's get out of here. That was actually a little painful to watch

Ghostcat: Even is clearly agitated and it looks like he's using the time―21:21 as a sign he needs to act. Get out, at least.

hakkepippern: I was like whatever, you don´t need an excuse, just leave.

Ghostcat: At the time I was definitely shocked that Isak would leave the girls in his own apartment.

hakkepippern: I didn´t think so much about that. Hahaha.

Ghostcat: He puts up such a front, hides so well, but here he throws all of it out the window in a way that would be near-impossible to take back. How do you lie your way out of that one??? It's his own apartment????

hakkepippern: True. I guess neither Isak or I thought about that.

Ghostcat: A first watcher was like, so does Linn come out, see those girls and go "who the fuck are you people? Extreeeeeeeeeeeme awkwardness.

hakkepippern: I have lived in a kollektiv, stranger thing has happened.

Ghostcat: But of course, we’re not thinking about that, we're outside, with them, on that bike. What did you think then?

hakkepippern: They were arguing anyway.

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha, you're like, good riddance.

hakkepippern: Hahaha.

Ghostcat: You sound like, watching it, you wanted to leave too.

hakkepippern: I did.

Ghostcat: OMG. I just realized something. Ha ha ha! Isak says it in the previous episode...

hakkepippern: What?

Ghostcat: When he’s complaining about Emma’s love of Bieber, “I should leave, oh wait, I can't, it's my place.” FORESHADOWING.

hakkepippern: Oooooh, yes, he did!

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha, he does leave!

hakkepippern: He does! :smile:

Ghostcat: And Bieber was playing again!

hakkepippern: Oh lord!

Ghostcat: So Bieber migraine, part two lol lol lol!

hakkepippern: You have a brilliant mind.

newyearsirresolution: Fuck you and fuck Julie Andem tbh.

Ghostcat: No, this show is brilliant. Okay, you got your wish, hakkepippern. They left Isak's apartment, they're on that bike, The Song is playing: WHERE WERE YOU AT?

hakkepippern: I loved the bike-scene! It was a perfect scene with the clumsy balancing act from Even. 

Ghostcat: To be fair, Even is a fucking giant with extra long arms and legs and Isak is skinny but dense because of all that unexplained muscle. He looks like he weighs more than you think. I felt Even’s no-hands struggle on that bike, but he looks so happy, he doesn't seem to mind.

hakkepippern: I just wanted someone to read Isak´s lips! 

Ghostcat: Did anyone? Were you IN FANDOM yet???

hakkepippern: I don't think so. I went through some of the comments under one of Emma's texts. And they were all she doesn't have a clue, Isak is leading her on, it was all in caps and then someone: CALM DOWN IT IS JUST A SHOW.

Ghostcat: IT'S NEVER JUST A SHOW.

hakkepippern: Hahaha it was so funny. Even and Isak are just happy in that moment, it radiates.

Ghostcat: They radiate with JOY! Which is so hard to portray without sliding into mawkishness.

hakkepippern: The fine lines here!

Ghostcat: But I love how it bleeds into the scene―did you think that Even was improvising here? Did they just ride near that street by accident and he realized there was An Opportunity? Or did you think that was a deliberate move? I ask this in the context of the moment not with any thought of the rest of the season.

hakkepippern: I think that is a really hard question. It seems like something you need to plan. At the same time he looks kind of taken by the situation when he stops the bike.

Ghostcat: I thought it was spontaneous

hakkepippern: It doesn't look planned on his face.

Ghostcat: Yesssss. An opportunity. Also the question of the episode

newyearsirresolution: I like to think he planned it and then gave up on it when Sonja meddled but THEN it was 21.21 and he was like, you know what? This is my hot girl summer.

Ghostcat: The fact that he asks it at that moment and not say, at Isak's apartment. Ha ha ha, hot girl summer.

hakkepippern: What is hot girl summer?

Ghostcat: A song, @hakkepippern, that lbr, Even would LOVE. For me, it felt like 21.21 was the green light to get the fuck out.

hakkepippern: I never really paid attention to those Numbers

Ghostcat: I've done dumb shit like that before when younger. Oh, it's 11:11―it's a sign! Come to think of it, it's funny that I never once considered any other interpretation of that moment. It was as clear to me as something direct.

hakkepippern: What was clear to you?

Ghostcat: That when Even asks for the time, he takes the fact that it's 21.21 as a sign to go.

hakkepippern: Aha. I guess. But at the time, I didn't think of it as more than just get out.

Ghostcat: But here they are and Even is doing his sing-songy MY AUNT IS ON VACATION thing.

hakkepippern: And that's his answer to everything.

Ghostcat: And Isak clearly suspects that something is amiss but goes with it anyway because of residual joy or whatever-

hakkepippern: What is leaving two girls at home when you are breaking and entering with EVEN?

Ghostcat: -and I love, love, love how he slows down once they're inside. In the watch, someone asked if they were going to just get naked when Even starts removing his clothes and no wonder Isak's like, umm what is happening. How much do I take off??? Are we swimming in our underwear???? (HALP)

hakkepippern: Hahaha, better to just push him in.

Ghostcat: And Even is just negging him the way Isak negs Emma.

hakkepippern: Even having an opinion on how Isak cares about his hair <3<3<3

Ghostcat: That gets Isak to scrunch up his face like an angry squirrel and shove him in.

hakkepippern: It is adoooooorable

Ghostcat: Are you afraid you're gonna fuck up your hair? reads as I AM INTO YOUR HAIR. Did you catch the song reference?

hakkepippern: Even gives so much away. Which song?

Ghostcat: Kissing You from Romeo + Juliet?

hakkepippern: Yes!

Ghostcat: SO you knew what was coming.

hakkepippern: I have seen that movie a couple of times.

Ghostcat: Whispers: underwater smoochy smooches.

hakkepippern: WHEN exactly does the song start?

Ghostcat: Right after they count to three. They go underwater, suddenly in slo mo, the song plays, and everything is blue, blue, blue.

hakkepippern: Right! Because I know I was all like kiiiiiiiiiss. But then I was also like, why the hell does he grab his throat?

Ghostcat: HA HA HA. Meeee tooo. What a cheater.

hakkepippern: And I got really hung up on that.

Ghostcat: Isak looks so furious.

hakkepippern: Like in a creepy way.

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha, you thought it was foreshadowing?

hakkepippern: Skam messes with us. I knew that from the other seasons.

Ghostcat: I couldn't figure out if it was a way to soften the fact that he was going in for a kiss. Eventually, he knew he was, this way he could play it off as a gambit to win. Or if he genuinely was trying to best Isak and once again, saw an opportunity and took it.

hakkepippern: I can see that, and I think I wrote it off as that as well. But still I was conflicted.

Ghostcat: Even is a mystery to us and spending more time with him only brings up more questions. I found him baffling at first, but then got more into him. What is it that he says...something like, you think there are rules here? with that big grin on his face.

hakkepippern: Yes, and that was really beautiful.

Ghostcat: It immediately made me think of "but we can't go back now" < these seemingly innocuous turns of phrase that felt IMMEDIATELY important and meaningful.

hakkepippern: YES. Just BAM.

Ghostcat: You say that you were conflicted though...were you worried going into the next episode?

hakkepippern: No, not exactly. I thought it left on a cute and harmless note. I was just aware of this being a drama, and kind of trying to figure out the plot, I guess.

Ghostcat: Did you, at the time, have anyone to be like: DID YOU SEE THAT? THEY KISSED? AAAAH! < that's me by the way. I did that. To no one. Or was the collective experience of watching in real time more than enough?

hakkepippern: YES! It was a good Friday. I don't know how many times i watched that clip before I went to bed.

Ghostcat: I bet! I watched it several times that first time...I think the pacing of the clip is fantastic, how it goes from the tension of Isak's apartment to the romantic lyricism of Head Over Heels to Kissing You and then of course, the comedy of that little girl yelling.

hakkepippern: I was thinking about one more thing-

Ghostcat: -and Isak's struggle to get out. Those legs sticking out of that tiny window lol. What? Tell me.

hakkepippern: She is underrated.

Ghostcat: The little girl?

hakkepippern: Yes. I know TSM got messages about how crappy the kissing was in that scene.

Ghostcat: I heard about that.

hakkepippern: And I just think the clumsy kissing adds to all of it. :heart:

Ghostcat: I am hesitant about mentioning that to the first watch folks because of separation between actors > role BUT yeah, I love that it's messy and off-center and awkward? He doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands? If it's okay to put his hands on him? It looks like a first time kiss that means something.

hakkepippern: The hands! How he holds on to Even!

Ghostcat: It looks like something important and new and real.

hakkepippern: I remember my first kiss that really meant something to me.

Ghostcat: It captures that, no?

hakkepippern: I was like are we always going to make these slurp sounds?

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha.

Heihallohadet: His kissing in that scene is perfectly imperfect.

hakkepippern: Yes!

Ghostcat: Yes. And on that note, thank you so much, @hakkepippern: for answering so many questions and giving us some insight into this episode!

hakkepippern: Thank you, it was so much fun!

@heihallohadet​: Can I ask one question?

hakkepippern: For me?

Heihallohadet: Yes!

Ghostcat: Exciting!

Heihallohadet: Do you remember Tobias in the comment section for the clips??

hakkepippern: No?

Heihallohadet: The guy who would never be satisfied with the story.

hakkepippern: Sounds exhausting.

Heihallohadet: Because he felt the gay love story was being short changed?

Ghostcat: Huh?

Heihallohadet: He was adamant!

Ghostcat: Did he feel it was short changed by this episode?

Heihallohadet: I was trying to see if he was satisfied with this clip, and couldn’t find a comment right away so maybe  but you bet he was back on again after the next one. People were trying to placate him. :joy:joy:

Ghostcat: I love that someone's username was ‘chill.’

Heihallohadet: :joy:joy: It’s not a user name, it’s a subject header.

hakkepippern: Well, the comment section lacked some chill.

Ghostcat: Once again, let me just stress how glad I am I didn't experience this show in real time because I wouldn't have understood shit and I would have found you guys and HAUNTED you for information. As opposed to now, of course.

Heihallohadet: :kissing_heart:

Ghostcat: Right back atcha.

hakkepippern: You would be in the comment section as well, asking for translation :heart: I loved how it took NRK so long to post the comments that in the end it was: translation, tnx for translating, translation, tnx for translating.

Ghostcat: I remember reading that TSM broke the cast gag rule to snark on people complaining about how bad his kissing was in that scene, like, nice that you are obsessed with how a seventeen year old kisses. Is that true?

Heihallohadet: He did.

newyearsirresolution: Savage!

Ghostcat: OMG.

hakkepippern: He did.

Ghostcat: I love him.

Heihallohadet: On jodel I think.

Ghostcat: That is some A+ shit. He right tho.

hakkepippern: Perfect.

Ghostcat: But also Isak gets noticeably better at kissing as the season goes on and it reads as true and real which holy moly! what a detail. It's the kind of thing that made me narrow my eyes like WAS THAT AN ACTING CHOICE??? Was that a deliberate choice by the actor with no real experience? NO! and IMPOSSIBLE!

newyearsirresolution: I also see a difference in how Isak kisses Sara vs. how he kisses Emma, so yeah, no way it wasn't an acting/directing choice.

Ghostcat: Julie! *shakes fist* It's infuriating because that's the kind of thing I wish more actors would do, think about their characterization chronologically so that you can see the person change before your eyes or at least have directors guide them there.

Heihallohadet: An extra perk of filming it chronologically

Ghostcat: And he was seventeen years old.

Heihallohadet: :pray:pray:pray:

Ghostcat: I just shrieked that out loud in fury to fully express how baffling I find TSM's skill level.

Heihallohadet: A true savant. No, a natural.

Ghostcat: @newyearsirresolution that's your cue to call him a monster.

newyearsirresolution: Hahaha am I that predictable? Or is he just that awful(ly good)?

Ghostcat: Yeah, a natural but worse, because he works at it too so he's going to keep getting better. Grumble, grumble.

hakkepippern: And what Henrik said about acting and playing Even: “to find true feelings, not just portray him.”

Ghostcat: I feel like I can't even begin to go near what Henrik Holm does this season until after Mannen i mitt liv.

newyearsirresolution: I had no idea what he'd been doing all along, I realized it at the end of the season.

Ghostcat: @Heihallohadet even though most things aren't shot chronologically and yes, it is truly a gift to be able to do things that way, it's possible to track a character and have an actor and director work on this, make sure progression is there. But it so often gets lost. Henrik's work is superb and that is part of why I wanted to do the talk back for that episode before I realized I could not interview myself lol. But also @odeto-psyche will have wonderful insights, I'm sure.

newyearsirresolution: Witnessing you interviewing yourself would have been a chaotic experience I'd love to have. You could do it for the bloopers lol.

Heihallohadet: I am reading through the comments for the clip right now, and it’s kind of fascinating how many people thought that something was definitely off with Even. Kind of perceptive at that point.

newyearsirresolution: Which clip? The pool kiss or Mannen i mitt liv?

Heihallohadet: The pool kiss.

Ghostcat: We discussed it a little when we saw it, Even is curt and dismissive in a way we haven’t seen before in this clip. Isak’s hilarious eye-narrowing look over to him when he’s bickering with Sonja.

newyearsirresolution: Curt and dismissive is one way to say it.

Ghostcat: We haven’t seen that expression on Isak in a while. :snake:

newyearsirresolution: Hahaha. He's just a grass snake now. Doesn't even need to plot and still gets an underwater kiss.

Ghostcat: Not gonna front—I am a sick, sick person but Mean Even was kind of hot to me :hides face: That cold-as-ice “Stop monitoring me.”

newyearsirresolution: Oh ok, for a second I thought you meant the Santa Claus look.

Heihallohadet: Hahaha.

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha. Dude. Am I that bad? Don’t answer that.

newyearsirresolution: Well, you iterated. Sick, sick person. I wasn't sure.

Ghostcat: I am way too open with you guys.

newyearsirresolution: Not that he looks bad in white. Which he probably knows since he showed up in nothing but a white t-shirt at the Neon Party. I mean, he was also probably wearing pants but I'm not sure we ever see the pants, I only remember the shirt.

Ghostcat: Those pants were see-through after that pool. Don’t turn around, bro. I was like :eyes: 

newyearsirresolution: So was Isak. I wish we saw his face while Even was climbing that window.

Ghostcat: Yeah, again...was it acting?? Was it an acting choice to look down? I don’t even know. Again, I am so confused by his skill level.

newyearsirresolution: That might also just be a human reaction. There's an ass in front of you. You look at it. Or is that just me?

Heihallohadet: Depends on the ass.

newyearsirresolution: Hahaha true.

Heihallohadet: Speaking of ass, I saw you commenting on the use of ass in Norwegian!

newyearsirresolution: It's so confusing! They say it like, out of nowhere.

Heihallohadet: It’s short for ‘altså’ Which means different things but mainly therefore. So it’s just to underline something. Han sa det ass, he said it (underlined). I’m not a linguist so I’m sure there is a better way of explaining.

Ghostcat: I am still all about NEBBETE.

Heihallohadet: Nebbete is a good word.

Ghostcat: And when we go back to the bloopers, there's a word they say a lot that lingered in my head for days. I don't even know what it is or how it's spelled but it sounds like people saying cleaning or gleaning. I'm going to find it and then point at it while staring at you.

hakkepippern: Klining! Making out!

Heihallohadet: Ah! Hooking up.

newyearsirresolution: I'm less confused about ass now, but I'll keep finding it hilarious.

Heihallohadet: It is, particularly when written.

Ghostcat: KLINING.

*

Join us next Wednesday to read our talkback with @nofeartina​ about episode 3.5: “Samme tid et helt annet sted” aka Art Core Cuddles and Heartbreak

[aguagua]

haha fuuuuuc I wrote a novel of headcanon for possible backstory for Donna B from re 8. I don’t really wanna share it in the tags. I just wanted a place to put it bc she is my beloved. Read it under the cut if you want 👊🤪

content warning : suicide and a lot of death

Donna Beneviento :

Born - 1947?

1950s - Sister passes, parents commit suicide

1986 - Claudia born

97 - Claudia passes

Approx. 97/98 - Joins M. Miranda

—-

Family / History / Backstory :

Benegario - Family ancestors branch off from Village and migrate to Italy —> Alps regions // Lombardy, Capo Di Ponte, Val Camomica

Leonardo Beneviento - Father

Andrea Fioralba - Mother

Leonardo was a puppet and mask maker, as well as a costume designer for operas staged at La Scala in Milan, and other more local theaters. His work was commissioned by many. He would also travel to Venice to sell and make masks for Carnevale. Eventually, he would begin to make toys, for his children, and sell them when they’d move to Village.

Bernadette Beneviento - Sister, b. 1942. Sickly child on and off.

Donna, b. 1947. Leonardo + Donna are close. He mentors her in making puppets + masks, she has an affinity for puppets. Spent many times in the backs of theaters, helping her father fit masks, alter costuming, and repair puppets. She loves opera. She’s gone to Carnevale w/ her father as well to make masks.

Possibility of move?? Bernadette is very sick?? M.M. Constantly reaching out to Benevientos anyway to get them to return to village. Possibly convinces them to move by saying she will help their daughter.

Father eases Donna’s nerves and tries comforting Donna about the move (leaving her friends and life behind) by crafting her Angie, a friend she will always have wherever they go. Donna is six.

Bernadette obviously does not survive MM’s experiments. Late 1957. Parents are both in hysterics. Andrea commits suicide in the following weeks, Donna witnesses this. Leonardo finds them both and is beside himself. Donna picks up the knife that Andrea used to end her life. Father tries to take it from her bc he doesn’t want her hurting herself. She freezes up and it’s like wrestling to get it out of her hands and accidentally, Leonardo severely wounds Donna. In immediate response, Leonardo in a state of pure lunacy, losing his eldest daughter, his wife and now assuming he had killed his youngest, ends his own life in front of her. Donna witnesses this too. This all happens extremely fast. It’s really volatile // reactive.

Donna just barely survives but her face is scarred and partially blind in her right eye. Clearly traumatized horrifically by the incident, she’s taken care of by the staff of the estate and Mother Miranda checks in often ((keeping her influence there))

Donna cannot communicate anymore herself, she’s latched onto her puppet, Angie and uses her to speak. Has bouts of isolation and has difficulty growing up w/o a family and navigating a very intense injury.

Inspired by MM’s “tireless work” to help save Bernadette and her being a sort of constant in her life now, she delved into studies of medicine and plants. Wanting to help other people who are sick.

Doll making, though, is a very sacred and special hobby to her and a craft she continues to hone privately. She’s extremely attached to Angie, treats her as her own sister. It’s all she has left.

Extremely sensitive about her facial scar + right eye, hides the right side of her face as much as possible.

Becomes a sort of medic to the Village. She sells salves, ointments, and medicines through Duke. Gives him toys and dolls she’s made to also sell, occasionally.

Beneviento staff raised her and helped her to slowly come out of her shell. Still very awkward, socially, and reclusive though. But, in becoming more social, she began to take patients in-house. Helped plenty, most of the time free of charge. This is how she had come to meet her eventual boyfriend, which was a very clumsy relationship that ended with her being pregnant, him leaving her and her trust broken.

Though, that resulted in Claudia being born! 1986. Donna is 39. Motherhood is what pulled Donna out of the dark. Even bringing her to much better communicate without Angie, though she still uses her. She’s a loving and very giving mother to Claudia who is very talkative and curious. Donna doesn’t mind all the chatter, she loved to listen to Claudia speak. There was a liveliness in the Estate and in Donna that hadn’t existed in a long long time. Claudia also adored Angie, Donna was at first hesitant and protective of Angie, but eventually permitted Claudia to take Angie and play with her however she wanted. Because of Claudias love for Angie, Donna began to make dolls for Claudia, often. Brilliant and beautiful toys with elegant and carefully detailed features + clothing. They’d even, a few times, gone down to the Village. Socialized some. Donna felt very Secure and in control for once.

But, like her sister Bernadette, Claudia was also sickly. Donna was just more equipped at giving Claudia the care and medicine she needed to live life happily. But, it came to a point in late 96, when no medicines or health care seemed to work anymore and Claudia was always bedridden and weak. Seemed only way to help Claudia at this point was to make her dolls that comforted her, But did not help her. In an act of desperation, being at a loss at what to do to save Claudia anymore, Donna turned to her idol, her new mentor of sorts, Mother Miranda. She pleaded for her to help Claudia and save her.

And MM did what she does best (lol).

** I think also MM might have been interested in using Claudia as a vessel for Eva so that doesn’t help either.

Donna snapped and snapped hard. Completely regresses to the way she was before. Is an Intense Agoraphobe. MM used the situation to her advantage. Manipulated her way further into Donnas heart empathizing w her Loss w her own and got her to join the family.

——

Post Cadou :

97 - Receiving the Cadou did not help her mental state. Actually became frightened of her own face At first because of the Cadou overtaking her scar and eye. reliving many traumas. this is an especially bad year.

Highly anxious, a manic depressive, still wont leave home unless it’s to see MM.

Attempts in some way to still cope with Claudias death by making and perfecting her dolls, has filled the whole house. She eventually learned of her ability to spread her Cadou amongst her dolls. Immediately does this with Angie + Angie very quickly became her own entity, Donna’s guardian, and lifelong companion.

Begins to experiment with what also she can use her Cadou for. She futzed with various plants and medicines, Angie once suggested she try reanimating the dead (that didn’t work) but Donna did end up accidentally making herself hallucinate, inhaling some pollen of an affected plant and she briefly saw Claudia. Began carefully studying this yellow flower and experimenting with it to see Claudia again. Tested it with her gardener, who then saw his late wife. Finding it worked, Donna, she tells the Gardener to come back again and she will show him the rest of his family. Before then she used the pollen to see Claudia again, but when she did it left her thinking :

“This is not Claudia, she will never be Claudia. I will never get her, my parents or sister back ever again. Why not just join them?”

—> in this hysteric state, she has a nervous breakdown, and when the gardener arrives, she doesnt end her own life. Instead, she took his. Donna still shows him his lost loved ones one last time, controlling the hallucinations to lure him around and out of the house and fall off of the cliff, crashing with the waterfalls.

She gave him the Gift of joining them. After taking the Gardener’s life, she fashioned a doll in his likeness and strung it up in a tree as if reaching toward the heavens.

She began to do this to any villager, who fell prey to Angie, who would come down to the Village, convincing them to experience Donna’s Gift, seeing their lost loved ones and subsequently tossing them to their own demise to be with them.

“None of her playmates have ever come back from that dank old estate.”

*** Donna really believes she’s doing these people a favor, “giving them a gift,” by luring them to the estate and killing them. It’s ultimately what she wants herself but won’t bring herself to act upon. ***

Okay woof holy shit that was a lot. I’m done for now. 😚

[fragenherrdoktor]

Rip's backstory? Im gonna President's day this question, actually. Major's? Dok? Do you think Schrodinger is based (in universe) on a an actual Kid? (My Headcanon)

Whoa! Thanks for the questions! I’m going to break the answers up by character for length. I touched on some of these points in a past post, so I’ll expand on them. First up, Rip Van Winkle! 

Rip seems to be Zorin’s opposite; she’s the ‘Eva Braun’ to the latter’s ‘Brunhilde’. Zorin appears to represent the more agrarian population, while Rip is more the urban-dwelling socialite. She seems more refined in her style of dress and love of opera, so I would imagine she comes from a higher social class, possibly the daughter of an officer. That or she’s putting on airs to make one think she’s from a more affluent background than she really is.

I think Rip was likely born around the Rhineland, given her moniker is both Dutch and a literary reference to Irving's Rip Van Winkle because:

The Rhineland is closer to Holland than any other part of Germany. While the German ‘Von’ is more common in names, the Dutch ‘Van’ makes its way in there too: example Ludwig Van Beethoven who was originally from Bonn, Germany. So she might be of Dutch descent to some degree, too?

Irving’s novel takes place in the Hudson Valley, which Life magazine in 1939 called “America’s Rhineland” because they are a bit geographically similar.

I think Rip was born and raised on propaganda. In Dawn, her hair is braided similarly to girls and women in the BMD. She likely joined as a preteen and was active in it until her late teens or until 21. The BMD indoctrinated young women and taught a very romanticized version of German folklore and tradition coupled with the National Socialist system. That’s probably what lends to Rip’s more silly, girlish, and romantic personality and outlook on the events in Hellsing. A lot of the BMD’s teaching also focused on the “self-sacrifice’’ women should make to further the cause of the party, which seems to match her sacrificing herself to further Millennium's goals to keep Alucard stuck at sea for a bit to launch their attack.

She likely voluntarily joined the Aufseherin, too. I think Rip (and Zorin to an extent in terms of sheer brutality and rural upbringing) is based on Irma Grese the most. Grese is described as being beautiful, immaculately dressed, and one of the most sadistic female guards. That description seems to fit Rip and her gleeful enjoyment of Mill’s actions.

Given her entrance in Hellsing: The Dawn (she’s K.O.’d like immediately) and moniker, I think Rip is out cold for pretty much the entirety of the Hellsing Raid and misses the rest of WW2. In Irving’s novel, Rip Van Winkle falls asleep for 20 years and misses the American Revolution. This leads me to think that Hellsing Rip is out for an extended period as well due to the karate chop from Alu’s coffin to the back of her head.

I think the hit also caused some extensive head trauma and forced the Doktor to work on her shortly after the raid. In the opening of Dawn, Millennium is experimenting on POW’s and only seems to be able to create ghouls, not the more advanced bootleg vampires, yet. I think Rip was one of the first, if not the original successful FREAK. I also believe she fell flat on her face and chipped her teeth after being knocked out, and Dok filed them into points, giving Rip her signature smile.

Due to her unconsciousness and missing parts of the war, I think Mill’s higher-ups (namely Major) gave her the moniker Rip Van Winkle as a joke.

I believe the wack to the head messed with Rip’s memory too, possibly giving her amnesia, and is one of the reasons why she’s so attached to Der Freischütz. I think she always enjoyed opera. Those with amnesia, while they might forget past events, loved ones, have been known to have their musical memory still intact. I think this is one of the reasons she’s so obsessed with the opera and strongly relates to it; it’s one of the strongest things she can remember and thus relates to it waaay too hard. (Wouldn’t feel bad for her. The whole aftermath of the Hellsing Raid is pure speculation on my part. Rip’s scarily loyal to Mill, so she’s terrible through and through.)

Her being called Rip Van Winkle showcases how her, and by extent all of Millennium, are stuck in the past and are resistant to change. Irving’s story is a cautionary tale about wasting your life away, and Mill, well, they waste their lives trying to get revenge/overcome the supernatural/prove their superiority.

Her catchphrase “Tinker tailor soldier sailor, my bullet punishes all without distinction” is a reference to the old ‘Tinker, Tailor’ game/nursery rhyme children used to use to identify who was “it” in a game of tag. I think it highlights how childish Rip is, she views shooting someone kin to playing deadly tag.

In the novel Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, named after the same rhyme, British SIS agents track down a Soviet spy in their ranks. I think this also references how Rip got on the Eagle using British naval forces that betrayed the crown in return for vampirism.

I have no fucking idea where the hell she got the Jezail rifle from. They were really popular with Afghan troops, especially during the Anglo-Afghan war. I think it’s supposed to add insult to injury that she’s using a musket that devastated British forces in 1800′s before while also reinforcing how behind the times she is.

She seems to personally relate to Kaspar in Der Freischütz, who in the opera makes a deal with Samuel, an evil spirit/the devil known as Black Huntsman, for magic bullets. However Rip got her powers, I imagine it took her (with the help of Mill/Dok) summoning an evil spirit and making a deal with it that enabled her to shoot cursed bullets.

The fact that Rip and Zorin are a part of Mill highlights that they’re both highly effective soldiers. Their leadership roles are also one of the things that show how unorthodox Major is at running his organization. Women participated in military service, but it was very regimented because the Nazi’s were, in a word, conservative. Women served alongside men, but they could never give their male soldiers orders. Both Rip and Zorin are officers with troops under their command, so they must be good at what they do, even if Rip is a bit of a ditz at times.

Rip is the only one who is scared shitless of Alucard when she first sees him. She seems slightly more ‘realistic’ about her capabilities, but goes through with being bait, cementing her extreme loyalty to Mill’s cause. However, the way she talks about Alucard makes me wonder if she’s aware that they are truly fighting the actual Dracula. Rip seems to believe Alucard IS Samuel to some degree(???). The way Major builds up this idea in her flashback leads me to believe Major isn’t 100% truthful about what exactly Mill is fighting or their end goal (even to higher-ranking officers) and is fine letting his soldiers believe in whatever gets them to do what he wants (read: die horribly).

[silenthillmutual]

Anna Angel for character meme?

favorite thing about them i genuinely love that they are such clear ocd rep... i don’t think it’s written in the game documents or anything but their misophobia, the way they react to meeting artemy, the way they catastrophize, them thinking the plague is a divine retribution for their personal wrongdoings? classic ocd babey! and they’re such a complex character, too, having been with the caravan but at such a young age, you can tell there’s more of a backstory to get at, i can’t wait to see it in changeling route (i haven’t played yet in classic).

least favorite thing about them the racism...i could really say that about so many characters, huh? i’m thinking specifically about this line she has where she says steppe women turn babies into soap. she’s hysterical enough to believe it.

favorite line “It's throw yourself in the river, brick yourself in the basement, or get sandboxed... why are you looking at me like that?” anna refers to the town hall as “the sandbox” more than once and it’s made me really interested, because of course in classic it’s revealed the whole game has been children playing in a sandbox. it makes me wonder if anna is one of those characters who understands the cosmic horror of what they’ve been put in. i know there’s nothing else to back that up but...

brOTP i think anna should nod instead of shaking hands with daniil because i like to give him ocd in fics. they can both have agoraphobia and communicate telepathically. or maybe with victor...i think he’s an agoraphobe too. though i would like to know more about anna’s friendship with peter!

OTP i don’t know that i’d quite say it’s an otp for me, but for pathologic 2 i do like eva/anna. i think eva seems a bit younger and anna seems a bit older than in classic (where she’s 18, i think she’s maybe 20 or 21 in pathologic 2). eva’s a lot more relaxed in pathologic 2 (so far!) so it would do anna good to be friends with someone not as depressed as peter who could help her calm down.

nOTP anna/artemy.

random headcanon this isn’t mine at all and i’ve only refrained from doing it here because i don’t see it off of twitter, but one of my friends hc’s anna as a he/him lesbian and i’ve wound up adopting that hc. it just feels right.

unpopular opinion he’s not evil. he’s only 18 in classic, and can’t be much older than that in pathologic 2. he was in the caravan, but he was in the caravan as a child. meaning that some form of child grooming went on, which is why he’s clearly traumatized and has ocd from what he was made to do. it’s also probably why he hides his body in that big coat. do not perceive him.

song i associate with them *opens up my ocd playlist* “i’m so sick” by flyleaf.

favorite picture of them this one, mid-wiggle!

send me a character!

[floatingcatacombs]

In Praise of the Blonde Twink who May or May Not be a Trans Girl

12 Days of Aniblogging, Day 3

There’s been something in the air recently. Last year, the New York Times’ fashion magazine published an article titled “Welcome to the Age of the Twink”, a 600-word LGBT hitpiece arguing that a new wave of “art twinks” are redefining what it means to be an ideal male. The author argues that the term “twink” is being broadened past just gay culture and we should slap it on every slim attractive straight white dude that we see in order to overturn toxic masculinity. Because there’s nothing more revolutionary than, er, fairly conventional western beauty standards.

The internet promptly responded by shitting on the author’s brazen attempt to export twinkness to the straight world. I too think it’s an awful take, but I get the feeling there was a satirical bend to the article that got edited out or otherwise miscommunicated. After all, the author is a gay man; why would he misrepresent and diminish his own community like that?

The broadening and appropriation of LGBT terminology is a touchy subject, so I’ll save it for another day. If taking gay terminology and morphing it into new definitions is en vogue nowadays, I’m happy to join ranks with Nick Haramis and add new meanings to “twink”. Let’s talk about twinks as Schrodinger’s trans girls.

Unfortunately, I have a type when it comes to media, and it’s twinks who I can project transness onto if I desire it. These characters are beacons of androgyny, male-at-birth characters with some connection to femininity via their appearance or their actions. Often, this connection is left unclear by the end of their series, leaving plenty of room for me to imagine “OK so they’re totally gonna be a girl for real now”. This archetype has proven a very useful crutch for me over the years. For so long, media about cis femininity was too intimidating and distant for me to even dream of consuming. During that time, I read lots of manga and played lots of games starring androgynes, allowing myself to project onto them as well as project their character onto girlhood. (see where this leads by transitive property?) Also, a lot of them were blonde (I’m not gonna read into this! My hair is closer to brown tho). With that out of the way, let me rip my heart open and highlight some of those twinks that I’ve latched so strongly onto throughout the years.

 Kuranosuke from Princess Jellyfish

I’ve written a whole writeup on Kuranosuke, so if you’ve read that you should know where I’m coming from! Kuranosuke is graced with natural femininity and a desire to perform it, and lands himself into a situation where he must pass on a daily basis while designing fashion for the girls of the Amars house. Kuranosuke’s crossdressing is both effortless and extremely laborious, but it always pays off.

Kaito from Himegoto: Juukyuusai no Seifuku

Himegoto is one of the messiest mangas I’ve ever read. Three characters spiral around each other while desperately trying to negotiate their orientations, gender presentations, and livelihoods with each other and with themselves. Kaito is the standout for me – a ‘guy’ who crossdresses in a desperate attempt to ‘mirror’ his ideal image of femininity. Kaito radiates extremely eggy energies, and it’s increasingly obvious as the plot goes on that all his justification is elaborate smoke and mirrors for his desire to simply be a woman. He begins by projecting his feminine ideals onto his tomboyish friend, but by the end of the manga it all comes collapsing back onto himself. The epilogue leaves it rather ambiguous, but one can only hope that Kaito figured it all out by then. 

Alucard from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night  

Symphony of the Night is one of my favorite Castlevanias and maybe games of all time. I’ve always been in love with its hand-in-hand elegance and jankiness. Unlike Kaito and Kuranosuke, we’re going to have to stretch out of the canon to justify this placement, but I assure you it will be worth it. In Symphony of the Night, Alucard is a tall deep-voiced bishounen and that’s that. However, the eva problems classic “YOUR ASSHOLE DAD’S CASTLE IS BACK AGAIN” adds a sickening new twist onto the game: what if Alucard wanted to be a woman? This article retraces the full plot and route of SOTN, adding extra backstory and inner thoughts showing Alucard’s visceral bodily discomfort and twisted-up jealousy towards the female monsters of the castle. Eventually, she takes those terrifying first steps towards accepting oneself as a woman. It’s one of the most effective recontextualizations of a piece of media that I’ve ever read, and I’m not afraid to admit that it reassured and helped me with my own transition a few months down the line. Plus, the idea of Alucard But A Girl is somewhere near my ideal aesthetic. 

Ryo Asuka from Devilman

--devilman spoilers--

Ryo is a bit of an oddity. A total weirdo, he doesn’t particularly demonstrate femininity throughout most of the series beyond just being kind of fluffy and cute in the 80s OVAs. However, this all changes in some of the final chapters, when Ryo is revealed to be Satan in disguise. Though every Devilman adaptation has a very different artstyle, Satan’s designed has remained the same: an androgynous fallen angel possessing both breasts and a penis. There’s a lot of associations and implications to unpack there, but I’m not going to do that in this article! While it doesn’t necessarily recontextualize Ryo’s human existence, he sure still is a twink with some Gender happening around him.

  Venus from We Know The Devil

Ok, this one’s just a girl! No questions about it! Someone get her some hugs and a bottle of estradiol, stat!

Honorable Mentions:

Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2

As much as I love slapping the “GIRL” label onto any blonde twink I can find, Raiden’s MGS2 arc of intense emasculation works way better if he's actually a guy. If there’s any further gender stuff happening with Raiden, it’s actually to be found in MGS4 and Metal Gear Rising, in which Raiden sheds his twinkish flesh to become a way more masc cyborg ninja. As The Cyborg Manifesto teaches us, cyborgs are one hell of a post-gender tool. Honestly, reading Raiden as FTM may work way better than parsing him as a trans girl, I just don’t have the specific background and ability to do that headcanon justice.

Lio Fotia from Promare

Promare was maybe the first time I saw a blonde twink character and didn’t  immediately think it might be better if they were a girl. Amidst all its discussions of immigration, racism, and climate change, Promare finds time to be real gay, in a delightfully masc4fem way. Together, Lio and Galo stretch the full spectrum of male presentation, and I wouldn’t want to take that away from them.

 So that’s that! I hope you enjoyed the lineup of twinks who are dear to my heart, and maybe learned a thing or two from my ramble at the start.

[jon-astronaut]

You can make 1 extra season. Which character would you choose from every remake and why? (you can change skamfr)

I loved this question!!! Thank you!

Druck: As much as Jonas is my favourite character I think I’d rather David get a season here. We still don’t know a lot about him. We don’t know his backstory or all the struggles he had to deal with or his family situation. I would love to explore all that through his eyes. Also I want to see his journey of becoming a film maker!! We could obvs see Davenzi too and maybe we could explore Matteo’s mental health through his season. And I want to see where he fits with the boys and the crew because he clearly seems like he is a good friend to them.

Italia: Well I’m literally writing my own Giovanni Season as a fanfic so my answer is clear: it’s Giovanni. I just love him so much. The love he has for the boys, especially Marti is so amazing. I would love for his “mom friend” role to be explored more and his protective side too. Also his dynamic with Elia two of them being the parents. And how he takes care of everyone (but nobody takes care of him). We could also see more of his political sides and his relationship with his parents. Him and Eva could come full circle too.

France: I only liked the idea of Arthur because it meant that they could do a completely original season because we know nothing about him. But honestly I’d prefer a Daphne one. They kinda messed her in s4 but in s3 she was just so lovely and I loved her whole excitement for the recreational room. I wonder a lot about her family life because she clearly struggles and her eating disorder is something to be explored still. And I want to see more of her relationship with Basile too. 

NL: This is gonna go to another Vilde remake which is Engel. You can blame the countless lesbian Engel headcanons I have read. Honestly, the Skam universe lacks so much in lesbian characters and Engel could be the perfect represantation. She is just so soft and kind and she is more wise then she seems so. Her dynamic with Liv this season was everything. I want that explored more. Honestly I need more of the girl squad.

Wtfock: I’m fairly new to this fandom and I’m gonna go with a bold choice that is Luca. She is one of my fave Chris’s and I think a Chris character definetly needs their own season. I felt so bad after seeing how sad she was over being kept out of the loop with Zoe and Senne. Her season could explore how she feels left out in the friend group and being proven the other with the girls supporting her.

Anyway thanks again for this question anon!!! I would love to know what you think too!

send me skam + remakes asks!

[the-canine-king]

i answered all 50 questions in that oc question post

note: i'm only talking about the ones i made lol i was gonna link them all the character’s names to their profiles but that shit’s way too much work so: https://toyhou.se/CanineKing/characters/folder:all/tags:1/tagged:Original

1. Your first OC ever? hmm, there's probably two answers 1) an unnamed character who was basically a fantasy dressed fox kemono boy. do you remember playing a game as a kid where you look out the window in a car and you imagine someone doing sick parkour beside your car? he was the character i imagined (there was also a whole other story i dreamt up where i was some long lost princess from other world and he was gonna save me from this one but that's a whole other thing) he's technically a character i thought of but never thought of anything beyond that, i don't think i ever drew him either 2) 4 (maybe 5) characters i made in middle school where it was about these characters that come from families that can bend one particular element, and they're all friends on school trying to get used to their passed down powers and also be basically kid superheroes. i drew them out and gave them names, but i never wrote anything beyond that, but they were definitely ones that i would call my first actual written ocs 2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs? -looks at ace, eliott, and mel- no 3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else? yup! before i wasn't so big on the adopt thing, but i turned into a fan w/ collecting designs and writing a lil story for them! i adopted 38 characters, and one other that's currently still in the process of trade :P (and unfortunately trying to purge some away) 4. A character you rarely talk about? unfortunately that'd be a lot of characters bc i'm super focused on drawing ace/ mel smooching for the 548787th time 5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? i'd probably make it eliott bc who else doesn't love a cute, shy, goat boy on the internet 6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related? ...... i can't think of any lmao 7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories? i literally only make ocs to make stories so 8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here! nah i can't do rp stuff :'D 9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else? honestly, not really if i made them lol but i guess i can if i'm not attatched to them and such, so if i just made a design and offered them up then yeah i can trade them (unless i love their design lol) 10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? even thought i haven't fully drawn my plans for his outfit, azazel would be the most complicated in my standards 11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? me personally, i'd say eliott bc that baby boy is trying his best story wise, either thorne or lucas (but totally lucas since thorne is a liar at heart) 12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot TOO MANY AUGH the very first oc i fell in love with but was forever homes was like a fantasy setting character that was an adventurer and had eagle legs/ other features w/ banging colours but other than that too many others 13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? again, a lot, i guess. bc they mostly fall into that trope? aiden (even though he's trying to be a better person), damien, eve, hugh (in a way), jack, ollie, ricky, roman, and wyatt 14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory uhhhh, hard to choose, i don't have any more bc i haven't written their backstories yet lol - growing up as a theif his whole life to support him and his mother, accidentally kills someone after an awakening of powers and is had to run from his hometown - growing up being shadowed over and forced to be someone that they're not, only to get their hubris get to them, causing themselves and others get hurt and can't even remember the person they loved - growing up w/ betrayal after betrayal she closed herself off, but they met someone and slowly opened up and accidentally fell in love w/ them, only later getting caught and fell from grce, then only to find the person they trusted before not remember them - after being caught on what seemed to be a fatal accident, gets rescured from a miraculous surgery, but he's slowly forgetting what he looks like and who he was every passing second - two people close to each other, only to end up w/ betrayal and lies 15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people? absolutely but if they ask me something i haven't planned yet i'm just "UHHH" 16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? 17. Any OC OTPs? nah ace/ mel is my notp :/ anyways if it's couples in general then: - ace/ mel - lucas/ darla - kaiko/ caspian - + a bunch of the parents in the monster family story - damon/ ollie (okay i'm really not planning for them to be together, but they cute u.u) - jebediah/ demon boyfriend - gunther/ harem - nadiya/ her girlfriend which i still haven't decided if i want her to be like a princess or a traveling swordsman of sorts) - the chimera girl i designed/ her human girlfriend - the fallen god/ mercenary 18. Any OC crackships? uhh i actually don't know :V anyone of the people listed  being w/ someone else would be a crackship? idk every other pairing i know i wouldn't like lol 19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why) i guess eliott! i guess also catherine, ricky, comet, and/ or captain since they were my fist group of ocs i wrote a bit about, but i think eliott means a lot more bc he was the one that got me thinking more about ocs  :> 20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)? for some reason i feel like rosa would be a singer? va hc would be someone w/ a strong husky voice and she would probably sing really well in kind of old slow songs you hear in old bars i also thought maybe lillie could sing too, but they’d usually be softer songs or lullabies to calm herself down it’d be nice/ cool to write for fallen god to be able to sing as well, and maybe the mercenary too so they can have nights signing together. maybe fallen god can sing songs that are in their own god language or whatever, and mercenary can watch in awe there may be others but i can’t think of them rn/ they might be charas i haven’t fully made yet 21. Your most artistic OC lmao it’s a bunch of ocs that i haven’t developed my ocs enough for me to know so let’s skip i guess 22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? i mean, people get some stuff wrong about my ocs sometimes but they’re usually so small that i really don’t care about it lol 23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like? hmm they relatively stayed the same personality wise but i assure you everyone’s changed from their initial drawing of them 24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why? that's. a really hard choice actually lol bc i wanna be hugged by one of the parents in the monster family story i made, but i also wanna hang out w/ the characters that i can comfortably hang out w/ lol 25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?) everyone’s got a bit of shared piece of themselves w/ their ocs don’t they? 26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? against my will? i can’t think of anything that i changed against my will so no :V 27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? the only two i can come up rn are: alistair (devil wears a suit and tie) and rosa (o, raven) 28. Your most dangerous OC? i guess the chimera girl i made since she’s trying to fit in the modern life? i mean i still haven’t thought of her story yet but i know she Angery 29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going? ace, aiden, maybe keaton 30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? mel, eva, roy 31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really) eliott: landscape stuff, muted colours, mystical content here and there ace: default theme, memes, probably has a side blog that’s more of an aesthetic blog mel: super aesthetic blog, romance themed 32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? literally anyone in the renegade group i could’ve said anyone in the hunters group but they’re all fucking idiots (lee would be more closer to the renegade’s level tho) 33. Your shyest OC? eliott, roy, audrey, fallen god 34. Do you have any twin characters? i literally want to design twin ocs just to have twin ocs jdshfkjsdf 35. Any sibling characters? audrey, dylan, and elle + eve and juno + ace and jack 36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? nah not really lol 37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human ?? i barely have human characters in the first place, unless this one means humanoid :V 38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? iiiii can’t think of anyone other than the two parents i thought of that i’m planning to be dance teachers lmao 39. Introduce any character you want i haven’t drawn them yet but fallen god and mercenary are two unnamed characters that i recently started thinking of where fallen god falls from the heavens and looses their sight, and the merc runs from their past meet and they team up together w/ the merc being fallen god’s eyes and the fallen go being their protector 40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share! i guess it;s just sentimental ones like, first ocs, first compliments, first art/ fic of them, etc. 41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!) YEAH AND EVERYONE DRAWS THEM CUTER THAN I DO (well i mean these were from freebies, art trades/ games, and gifts but still) please check out ace’s other’s art gallery and eliott’s other’s art gallery, bc they have the most of them (bc i ask for them a lot lol) 42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? whoever in middle school age i guess 43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess big n beefy, jokesters, heart of gold 44. Something you like about your OCs in general that i made them all (well of course not the adopted kids) 45. A character you no longer use? everyone every time i don’t focus on their story anymore than i used to ;;;; 46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly? fortunately no, and i hope no one does and it’d stop to others bc wow that’s rude as hell 47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? okay literally the first time i made eliott, everyone i knew wanted to adopt him as their kid lol 48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure eliott, parker, elle (i love all of them tho :’D) 49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes ace, roman, ricky, aiden, dylan, eva, ollie 50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want i love all of my babes okay good night

[driftovertheedge]

rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

i was tagged by @schreibenzi ty!!❤️ sorry for being so late uni was kicking my ass but now i’m finally free (for like two weeks but still)

1. which remake would you most like to be a part of?

oohhh definitively skam nl for the amazing aesthetic and the girl squad (also just biking everywhere i love biking djskaldja)

2. if you could be best friends with someone from each remake, who would it be?

imane (the fr girl quad don’t deserve her). filippo. hanna, david and matteo (we’re both lazy touch-starved depressed gremlins who love to eat and lie around on the floor). liv and isa. joana.  

3. what changes would you make to each remake? (i’m not following other remakes as closely as i am with druck but well)

skam fr: less drama for the sake of drama in the second half of S03. most of S04. people in their late twenties playing teens.

skam it: ugh the racism all around? white sana getting a season. people in their late twenties playing teens.

druck: the treatment of wlws. pacing of S03E08 and S03E09. david being outed. matteo’s mi not being addressed.

skam nl: noah’s reaction to the SA thing. liv wearing a fucking wedding dress to apologize to noah like !?! why???

skam es: more body diversity.

skam us: drunk megan forcing a kiss on shay. grace and megan talking about shay’s sexuality in that locker room. yikes.

4. what was your favourite scene from each remake?

skam fr: the polaris-inspired first kiss. 

skam it: boy squad singing together

druck: (i tried to refrain myself here and failed whew) matteo’s panic attack. both the almost kiss and the first kiss. david coming out to matteo. all of E10.   

skam nl: isa and lucas vdh looking for kes at dawn. liv listening to lana del rey’s love while doing laundry. any scene with the girl squad together tbh. 

skam es: cris and joana’s first kiss. joana speaking for herself.

5. if you could make your own season, who would it be about and what would happen?

i…have no ideas but a season with characters in university would be nice? 

6. is there a country you think would make a brilliant remake? if so, which and why?

i’d love to see any asian country attempting a remake (not mine tho cause it’d just be bad lbr) but i’m not so sure how adaptable skam is to asian culture.

7. what is your favourite quote from each remake

“don’t you know that feeling when you just want to belong without having to explain yourself?” + “life is now. with you”. my brain is too fried to think of others tbh.

8. what is your favourite headcanon?

david had never smoked a joint in his life before he met matteo and only did so to get a chance to talk to matteo. matteo has great music taste but his most listened to playlist is the one with tons of super cheesy love songs that remind him of david + tmtc (no one will know about this ofc).   

9. what is your opinion of the nl boy squad?

i’m not too emotionally invested in any of them tbh. jayden is kinda annoying and if they pair him up with engel in later seasons i’m gonna throw hands. kes has no character development for two seasons straight like??? he’s literally the same person (i’m also very against the idea of kes and isa getting back together). not sure how i feel about lucas yet but i do like his friendship with isa.

10. rank most bearable to most despicable william

daniel (no tragic backstory needed to manipulate us into pitying the william character !!! he’s just a silly jock boy trying to make grace happy)

alex (as much as i hate watching noorhelm seasons in general S02 of druck was really well made and from the second half of S02 on it’s mostly chris’ personality and humor bleeding into alex tbh)

edoardo

noah

william

charles

11. what thing from og do you wish a remake would change, and if one already has, what was it and do you prefer the change?

if we’re not counting S02 in its entirety then most of S04 (not focusing on sana enough, the bench convo, jonas/eva/p’chris side plot, waiting until the very last episode to show us vilde’s family life, noora getting back together with william,…). skam fr did change the bench convo but the whole season is just yikes. skam es and druck have set up lots of hint about their vildes and flesh them out more. i also have high hope for both amiras’ season.  

[mechaspirit]

Endless Summer x HERO crossover head canons

(hosted by@kenjkats  @toglidethroughlife  and @faded-hero)

This is mean for Day 4:  AU/Crossover/Theories. Hope I’m not too late. So we all know that Endless Summer and HERO are definitely connected, thanks to the Island’s Heart and the Prism Crystal, in which the latter is at the very least the fragment of the former. Plus, the dimensions between space and time are involved in both stories. Both villains in both stories know each and are familiar with the mysterious island, La Huerta. If, by any chance, that Pixelberry created a crossover between two awesome stories, it will definitely be interesting to see, especially on how the plot will play out and how the characters will interact with each other. So here’s how I imagine this will play out (note that both ES MC and HERO MC are females for this headcanon, but you are free to imagine them as different genders if you like).

In the world of Endless Summer, this may take place after all the characters got off La Huerta.

So both Sean and Craig managed to get drafted in a professional football team.

Zahra is still in that hacking group as Lich-Queen and is working with Aleister and Grace to get a certain pilot off of a criminal record. She keeps in contact with Craig

Raj went to a culinary school and is working on building opening up his own restaurant.

Michelle is in med school and is working hard on getting her doctor’s degree.

Quinn managed to open up her own bakery “For Goodness Cake’s” and sometimes help Raj to open up a restaurant.

Jake is still in Costa Rica, because his name hasn’t been cleared yet, and continues flying passengers across the Caribbean Island.

Estela went back to her uncle’s place in Colombia, pondering on what she should do now since her mission is complete. She sometimes comes back to the state to visit her friends.

Aleister took over his father’s company alongside Grace and they’re working on the clearing Jake’s name. Not sure if I should make them engaged or not, yet.

Grace, as stated earlier, helps out Aleister both the criminal cases and with his company with a support from her mother’s Mansingh Transglobal.

Diego is doing something filming. Perhaps making travel videos and then uploading them in Youtube. Not sure because I’m still trying to think of some profession for Diego in case he can’t stay on the island and then the Variego would happen. (I love that couple, okay?!)

And then there’s ES MC, traveling around the world for some personal reason which I don’t really know, yet. Diego keeps in touch with her and sometimes offer to become her travel buddy for his videos.

And here’s the world of HERO, in which HERO MC manages to find her way home in Northbridge (right place and the right time, of course) and the whole gang is reunited. 

HERO MC still works as a personal assistant under Grayson Prescott and of course, fighting crimes in her hero persona.

Grayson took over his father’s company and run it in his own way in which he can give opportunities to the people in the lower class. Oh, sometime after HERO MC returns, he eventually found out her secret identity and although he was upset that she didn’t tell him sooner, he forgives her and accepts her role as a superhero.

Silas is either confirmed dead or lost in the dimension, and if it’s the latter, then it’s more likely that he’ll come back.

Kenji is still a manager at The Grand and often times help out HERO MC with crime fighting as Talos.

Eva manages to get her father discharged from the hospital, thanks to Grayson’s help. Plus, she’s working part-time job as a waitress as well as going to a community college to get her degree. And of course, helping out HERO MC with crime fighting as Minuet.

Dax still works at the Prescott Industries and help out the superhero team behind the scenes and creating new gadgets.

Poppy is still a fashion editor and would go with HERO MC and Eva for shopping or other fun activities. She can also create new suits for the team, but mostly for HERO MC. Still in relationship with Dax.

So what would happen if the characters from both Endless Summer and HERO interact with each other? 

Well, thanks to the discovery of the crystals, there’s a possible chance that ES MC and HERO MC are related. So in this case, they’re either sisters/brothers or cousins. Not to mentioned they share a delight in talking to each other about their adventures. Though, HERO MC is more likely to be petrified by ES MC’s tales.

ES MC would more likely to be end up in a crossfire at a crime scene and that’s how she met HERO MC.

Diego would constantly make movie references related to Marvel’s superhero.

And by the time Diego is in a crime scene where chaos is happening, he starts panicking, saying something like this…

Diego: “What am I doing here?! I should be back home in my pajamas, binge-watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.!”

Jake, of course, would also give HERO characters nicknames like he did with his friends. So whatever the situations the characters are in, it would go something like this…

Jake: Hey, Dexter! I need an update on that control panel ASAP!

Dax: Dexter?! But my name is-

Jake: NOW DEXTER!

And remember in ES book 2 that we found out that Jake is a Sean Gayle fan. Well, turns out that he’s not the only one. By the time Kenji meets Sean, he went into his crazy fanboy mode and he would ask the football star an autograph or two…or three…or more! And he may or may not have a shrine of the said person somewhere.

Aleister would more likely to be friends with Grayson, because of obvious similarities relating to their fathers, and would share business ideas.

Grace and Aleister are more likely to be entranced by the technology Dax has shown in the Prescott Industries. And just wait till they meet Marci.

Zahra would hack into Dax’s computer just to annoy the poor guy.

Craig would sometimes mess with Dax’s equipment, which will piss the poor guy off.

Michelle, Quinn, and Poppy would more likely to be shopping buddies.

Michelle and Poppy shares similar interests in cosmetic products.

Quinn would teach Eva to bake and cry when Eva tells the former of her backstory.

Eva doesn’t really steal anymore, but she wouldn’t mind pickpocketing the ES characters for her own amusement.

Let’s not forget about Estela. Being the most badass woman in the group, the HERO characters are more likely to be taken surprised on how well she can handle the bad guys. So it goes something like this…

Talos: Estela, get out of here! HERO MC and I can take care of-

Estela: *silently takes out twenty henchmen in less than a minute*

Talos:…

HERO MC:…

Estela:…What?

Raj and Quinn are more likely to be friends with Marci, with the former thinking that Marci is actually really cool and smart, and the latter thinking that Marci is cute.

The whole characters get to hang out at The Grand and Raj would offer to cook and bartend for the whole group. Everyone will be friendly with each other, chatting, telling jokes, get drunk, and play games such as “Never have I ever”.

Overall, I’d say that the ES gangs and the HERO gangs can be friends and work together since they all experience some crazy stuff happening in their lifetime. Just wait until they have to deal with a situation that involves space, time, dimensions, and crystals.

And that’s all for my headcanon for the ES x HERO crossovers. What do you guys think? Did I leave anything out? Just let me know. I might create another one of these in the future.

[mellicose]

2017 Fic Review

Tagged by the beautiful, bubbly @aneclipsedhabitue . Thanks, girl!

total number of completed stories: 38 stories currently posted on Ao3

total word count: 231,467 words on Ao3, but so many more as Tumblr Ficlets/Requests/one-shots

fandoms written in: David Tennant fandom, exclusively Alec Hardy x Ellie Miller Alec x Grace/Clara (OC) Chris from Learners x Eva (OC) Aiden Hoynes x M (OC) Tenth Doctor x Violet (OC) Tentoo x Rose Campbell Bain x OC Casanova x Stella Violetta de Mocenigo (OC) Campbell Bain x Dee (OC) Simm!Master x Ten

(there are several other random DT characters in there, but just as one-shots)

looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?:

I  was shocked when I saw the word count on my Ao3. I have been prolific this year in a way I haven’t been in ages, and I have written for other blogs. It’s been bananas in the best way.

what’s your own favorite story of the year?:

Oh wow. I’d have to say ... it’s between part 3 of my Doctor After Dark series, Many Happy Returns, the Hardy x Miller fic Amongst the Roses, and the growing behemoth that is Lust Lessons, whose name I’m changing to A Sea Inside when I post the last Act.

do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?: 

I hope to scrub and shop several of my stories around to publishers sometime next year. Time will tell. I have outlined a longform Doctor After Dark fic as well as a Campbell Bain fic, but they will have to wait until I finish A Sea Inside.

best story of the year?: 

If I go by Ao3 hits, it’s between my first naughty Doctor After Dark fic, and A Thing with Feathers, a Hardy x Miller fic.

most popular story of the year?: 

I answered that above.

story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: 

Just about every one of them, but it’s not an ego thing. I don’t do Teninch in a fandom where that’s the main thing. I don’t resent it, but I’m resigned to my fate. I’m in a dinghy, banging on side of the destroyers around me with my oar, trying to sell DT characters with original character pairs like the crazy kook that I am.

If I’m gonna go super specific, I’ll say it’s between A Clever Mouth, a Don Juan in Soho smut request, and Turning Back Time, a Peter Vincent story that, honestly, deserves more hits than it’s gotten. I’m still resolved to flesh Peter’s character out, hits or no, for myself.

most fun story to write: 

While doing the one word ficlet requests, a jocose anon requested “Giacomo Casanova, boogers, smut -i wanna see if ya can make snot sexy”

I don’t know whether it was my best work, but it was good fun to write sex with a head cold.

story with the single sexiest moment: 

I think that depends what the reader is into. 

If they’re into femdom/kink, try The Domme Diaries.

If they’re into established-relationship sex with two people who are disgustingly in love with each other, try Lust Lessons and all the related flashbacks on my Ao3

If you’re into D/s male dominance, try this multi- chapter fic

I have a lot of smut. It’s kinda my thing. My spécialité de la maison, if I might say so. If it’s your thing, I suggest hitting my Ao3, my Masterlist, or searching #fanfiction on my page or hitting my archive for all those delicious odds and ends I don’t link because #lazy. 

You are bound to find something that tickles your fancy.

What set my knickers aflame personally? I’m keeping that to myself. I want to keep the reader guessing where my heart (and my kinks) really are.

most sweet story: 

Holy shitsnacks. I don’t know. I don’t ordinarily do sweet, but I wrote a little ficlet based on a Hardy headcanon submitted by an anon with Alec and little Fred, Ellie’s boy, where Fred feeds him cheerios because Alec looks hungry. 

Oh, the sweetness. It burns so good.

story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters & most unintentionally telling story: 

Lust Lessons was just meant to be a naughty, quick four-part fic in which Hardy gets his groove back, but it turned to full on, like, novel. I didn’t know ol’ Shitface had it in him. And Grace? Her back story unfolded before me so easily, but it’s been difficult to write. I hear that echo of all the people who get angry when a female character has a grim backstory just for the sake of seeming interesting, and I wanted to avoid that.

But the thing is, it’s not a ploy to be interesting. It is Grace/Clara’s story. Grim and hard to stomach as it might be, she stayed alive, and kept hoping, and remained brave enough to give love despite her very real pains and problems. 

In the end, there is so much beauty in that. 

biggest disappointment: 

In what way? I don’t consider anything a disappointment. If it’s less than my usual standard, it’s a learning experience.

But there one story that comes to mind - a dark!Campbell fic I did called Cherry Stained that I’m meh about. Strangely, I really like the naughty fic I wrote that was meant to be part 2 for it.

You tell me. 

biggest surprise: 

I can’t think of anything profound. I’m really grateful for all the kind attention and compliments I’ve gotten. I didn’t come here to make actual friends, but I’ve gotten to know some amazing people. Who knew I’d find so many coevals in the tenebrous place beyond shame?

Fanart: n/a

Manips: n/a

I want to take all the moments I can to thank every single person who didn’t scroll past my work and gave it a chance, and send a massive hug to those who were brilliant and brave enough to actually like and reblog my stories.

Although it’s deceptively easy to consume, writing isn’t easy to do. Even a 1000 world one-shot contains a bit of the writer’s heart blood. If it’s beautiful - if it moves you, makes you cry, or angry, or aroused, let the writer know in the form of a like, a reblog, or a comment. You can randomly type letters while screaming to the void - the writer will feel it. Doing so literally means the whole world to them, and pretty much guarantees that they will create more stories that will move you.

I won’t tag anyone, but only because the people that come to mind have already done it. If you want to play along, please feel free, and tag me!