#i have a two year job in a different state

[saywhat-politics]

Donald Trump ran his presidential campaign promising to abolish entire federal agencies and departments, but it’s not quite so easy for a president to simply end an organization that was created and funded each year by Congress, which is supposed to be the president’s equal.

So the president and his allies, led by Elon Musk, have found a different way to achieve many of the same goals: Put agencies long targeted by Republicans into a coma by sidelining their workforce, halting their operations and launching a review of their activity. Then, maybe, ask Congress to kill them outright.

The list of government agencies on life support or targeted for direct attack after two weeks of Trump 2.0 looks something like this:

► The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

CFPB was set up by Congress after the Great Recession to protect consumers from financial abuses, and the agency has long drawn the ire of Republicans. All of its work has been halted and the director, Rohit Chopra, was fired this past weekend, before the end of his five-year term.

The acting head of the agency, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, ordered a review of agency policy to guarantee “consistency” with the new administration.

► US Agency for International Development

Set up by John F. Kennedy and Congress to help the developing world and defend US interests in 1961, USAID employees in 2025 have been locked out of headquarters and the website has been shut down. Agency staff around the world will be placed on administrative leave Friday and ordered to return to the US, according to a directive issued Tuesday night.

A freeze on most foreign aid while Trump’s administration reviews the agency has caused a worldwide ripple effect among non-profits and aid organizations and sparked fear the US is completely retreating from its leadership position in international development. Musk called the agency “evil” and Trump said it’s run by the “radical left.”

The acting head of USAID, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, told lawmakers in a letter that he would “begin the process of engaging in a review and potential reorganization of USAID’s activities to maximize efficiency and align operations with the national interest.”

Musk used more colorful language in a post on social media that he spent the weekend “feeding USAID into the woodchipper,” an apparent reference to the freezing of foreign aid.

► The Department of Education

In existence since the 1800s, but elevated by Congress as its own agency in 1979, the Department of Education is Trump’s next target. CNN reported that an executive order is being drafted ordering the incoming secretary, Linda McMahon, who has yet to get a Senate confirmation vote, to begin to “diminish” the department through executive action.

“I told Linda, ‘Linda, I hope you do a great job in putting yourself out of a job.’ I want her to put herself out of a job – Education Department,” Trump told reporters on Tuesday.

A narrowly divided Congress likely won’t consent to abolishing the department. But McMahon, who led the Small Business Administration during Trump’s first term and made her wealth as founder of WWE, may well succeed in severely “diminishing” its functions — and her own job.

[socialjusticeinamerica]

President Trump said Tuesday that the U.S. would "take over the Gaza Strip" and "own it," continued to promote the idea that the Palestinian people should live elsewhere.

Mr. Trump, whose comments came at a joint news conference with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, said the Palestinians in Gaza "should not go through a process of rebuilding" and that they had "lived a miserable existence there." Earlier in the afternoon, during a meeting with Netanyahu in the Oval Office, Mr. Trump said the Palestinians should "resettle permanently" in "nice homes" somewhere else.

"The U.S. will take over the Gaza Strip, and we will do a job with it, too," Mr. Trump said. "We'll own it and be responsible for dismantling all of the dangerous unexploded bombs and other weapons on the site, level the site and get rid of the destroyed buildings — level it out. Create an economic development that will supply unlimited numbers of jobs and housing for the people of the area. Do a real job. Do something different."

"Just can't go back," he continued. "If you go back, it's gonna end up the same way it has for a hundred years."

On whether U.S. troops would be sent to Gaza, the president said, "As far as Gaza is concerned, we'll do what is necessary. If it's necessary, we'll do that."

"We're going to take over that piece," Mr. Trump added. "We're going to develop it, create thousands and thousands of jobs, and it'll be something that the entire Middle East can be very proud of."

The president was asked by a reporter what authority he has to take over a sovereign territory, and he replied that he's studied the matter closely for months.

"I do see a long-term ownership position, and I see it bringing great stability to that part of the Middle East, and maybe the entire Middle East," Mr. Trump said.

The president said his decision about taking over Gaza "was not a decision made lightly," and he claimed he's received praise from other leaders in the Middle East, though he did not identify any by name. Netanyahu said Mr. Trump's team is considering the options.

Leaders of several of the most powerful Arab nations previously said they strongly opposed any suggestion that residents of Gaza be resettled in other countries.

In the past, Mr. Trump has voiced support for a "realistic two-state solution." Gaza, a 139-square-mile strip of land that shares borders with Israel and Egypt, has been fought over for years. Palestinians have been refugees for decades, since Israel gained control of it in the 1967 Six-Day War with Egypt, Jordan and Syria.

Asked who would eventually live in Gaza once it's rebuilt, Mr. Trump said it should be an international place.

"I envision world people living there, the world's people," he said, adding that the residents should be "representatives from all over the world, Palestinians, also." He said it would be "the Riviera of the Middle East."

Netanyahu is the first foreign leader to visit Mr. Trump in his second term.

Mr. Trump opened the news conference by reinforcing his warm relationship with Netanyahu, saying they had forged a successful partnership in his first term. He claimed that the last four years — under former President Joe Biden — had not seen as many successes.

He claimed "the grave damage around the globe that was done, including in the Middle East … the horrors of Oct. 7 would never have happened if I were president."

In the wake of the massacre of Israeli civilians in 2023, however, Netanyahu praised Biden "for his vital support for Israel."

Netanyahu suggested Mr. Trump may be unconventional, but he has good ideas, and they work well together.

"After the jaws drop, people scratch their heads and they say, 'You know, he's right,'" Netanyahu said.

Netanyahu told reporters he found he had something else in common with Mr. Trump, too — he said Iran has tried to kill them both.

Trump, Netanyahu meet in Oval Office before news conference

Seated next to Netanyahu in the Oval Office, Mr. Trump repeatedly said he doesn't think Palestinians want to return to Gaza and said that he thinks Jordan, Egypt and other nations would accept Palestinians, even though they've said they won't.

"They are not gonna want to go back to Gaza," Mr. Trump said, adding that Palestinians would only "end up dying" there, and suggesting Palestinians should have a permanent settlement elsewhere.

"If we can get a beautiful area to resettle people permanently in nice homes and where they can be happy and not be shot, not be killed, not be knifed to death, like what's happening in Gaza," Mr. Trump said. "And right now you have in Gaza a very dangerous situation in terms of explosives all over the place, in terms of tunnels that nobody knows who's in the tunnel. The whole thing is a mess."

The president said other "rich" nations should pay for a new home for Palestinians, although he did not expand on this suggestion.

Netanyahu largely allowed Mr. Trump to speak. One reporter asked the Israeli prime minister whether former President Joe Biden or Mr. Trump is more responsible for the hostage and ceasefire deal.

"I think President Trump added great force and powerful leadership to this effort," Netanyahu replied.

The ceasefire and hostage deal between Israel and Hamas, brokered in part by the U.S., continues to hold so far. Dual citizen Keith Siegel was the first American to be released since the implementation began last month, although other Americans have been released before.

On Sunday, Netanyahu said he would discuss "victory over Hamas" with Mr. Trump, as well as countering Iran and building on diplomatic relationships with Arab nations.

Mr. Trump told reporters on Monday that he has "no guarantees that the peace is going to hold."

The president's meeting with Netanyahu being his first with a foreign leader signals how the Trump White House views the U.S.-Israel relationship.

"Trump is going to continue his support for our great ally, Israel," national security adviser Mike Waltz said on Fox News Tuesday.

Waltz said the U.S. and Israel have "more to go" in terms of returning Americans held hostage. And the national security adviser said the U.S. has to think "realistically" about rebuilding Gaza.

"I would push back on the characterization of cleaning out Gaza," Waltz told reporters Tuesday. "I think President Trump is looking at this from a humanitarian standpoint. You have these people that are sitting with literally thousands of unexploded ordnance and piles of rubble. You know, at some point we have to look realistically. How do you rebuild Gaza? What does that look like? What's the timeline? I think we, a lot of people, were looking at very unrealistic timelines. We're talking 10, 15, years, not the five years. And so that is what, that's what we have to work through. That's part of what we'll work through with Prime Minister Netanyahu."

Netanyahu last met with Mr. Trump in July at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach, Florida, while Mr. Trump was still a presidential candidate.

Netanyahu congratulated former President Joe Biden on his win in 2020, something that Mr. Trump long held against him. But the two have worked to repair the relationship in the wake of Hamas' Oct. 7, 2023, terrorist attack on Israel.

One reporter noted their relationship has had its ups and downs.

"I think it's mostly ups," Mr. Trump said Tuesday.

🤯

Trump and Jared and all the prominent Republicans literally said they would commit US troops to expel the Palestinians at gunpoint. You were told right here over and over again. You bashed Biden and Harris and then didn’t bother to vote. All of you who blamed Netanyahu’s war crimes on Biden and Harris are to blame for the coming tragedy. You better hope someone stops him before he carries out this insane promise. It’s going to cost America billions and the American troops sent there will be sitting ducks. And it will all be paid for with your Social Security, Medicare, VA benefits, etc.

If you clowns had voted for Harris none of this bullshit would be taking place.

[thebalmasque]

Finding A Spellbook: I

Ed

Ed would never have admitted it, but his decision to attend college had been to make a new life. He wished to live differently now in a new state, in a new town, and in a new culture. Away from all his peers from high school and a state away from his family, he wanted to be someone new. Someone who wasn’t the introverted honor student that passed by unnoticed. Yet two years in, he remained largely the same person he’d been.

This year his first big resolution had been getting a job. He had gotten a full ride and his parents had told him they’d help pay for what he needed so that he could focus his time on his studies. But he figured getting a job would also help him reinvent himself. So he’d started working at the school library. He was naturally a bookish person but he’d hoped the environment would make him turn that trait into a more social one. Sadly it had yet to bear fruit.

One day while shelving and thinking, a book had fallen from the top shelf. It had thucked him in the head relatively hard. When he’d picked it up to inspect it, he found it was a weathered leather book with no title on either the spine or the front. When he opened it, he found nothing to suggest it’d belong in the nonfiction section he’d been shelving.

He began flipping through the pages trying to make out what the book was about. He found what seemed to be a few notes scribbled around the inside cover and the first page. They all looked to be different handwritings however, suggesting it had traded hands over the years.

“This journal is the property of Ryzam Magus, containing the translation of Uturiel’s De Arte Mutationis.” The oldest most faded note said.

“Keep to yourself and don’t share it with another while under your possession.” Another one said.

“Do not trust Ryzam.” Another said, scribbled on the border and barely legible.

Ed was transfixed and turned the page to find the first journal entry.

“I, Ryzam the Mage, here account the art of change as introduced to humanity by Uturiel. As presented in the original manuscripts, I shall break it down in three sections and supplement each with the fruits of mine own work. First comes the Transformation of Self-“ Ed began to read before he was jolted by a voice behind him.

“Hey man hate to bug you but where’s the printer?” The voice asked.

Reflexively Ed closed the book and hid it in the book cart. “Oh- uh no worries. It’s- around the corner from the study rooms. By the Waithe Collection.” He replied slightly flustered.

“Cool. Thanks man.” The other student replied and walked off.

Ed looked at his cart, now mostly finished shelving. He kept the journal in it as he finished shelving and brought the cart back down. When he returned to the front desk, he placed the journal in his backpack and signed off. He needed more privacy to read the journal.

—————— • ——————

Ed returned to his apartment. This year he had decided to move out of the dorms and live off campus. It was definitely a new experience with all the extra responsibilities he now had on top of his academic ones. But by far, the biggest change had been his roommate. His first and second year roommates had been mostly absent. They spent maybe a few nights in the dorm but the rest of the time they were somewhere else. He hadn’t really bonded with them.

This new one was different. Friendly, attractive, fun, and very… active.

As Ed prepared to slide in the key to the door, he was interrupted by the door being swung open and a girl coming out huffing and apparently mad. She acknowledged him for a second, but it was clear she wasn’t really paying attention to him as she turned her head back to yell.

“And fuck you Luke!” She yelled, storming off in anger.

Ed looked inside his apartment, seeing his roommate half-naked standing in the doorway of his room looking bored while reading his phone.

“Uh you got another one?” Ed asked, trying his best not too stare too hard at his attractive roommate.

“Hey Ed.” He said with a smile as he noticed his roommate. He had such a cute smile. “Yeah this one’s not gonna be a regular though.”

Ed took out his phone pretending to get a text and walked towards his room. “Oh ok. I got a lot of homework so I’ll talk to you later.” He said and prepared to lock himself in.

“Bet. Oh yeah I’m going out tonight with the boys. I won’t be back till tomorrow morning so don’t wait up haha.” Luke said and went back to his room, locking his door at the same time as Ed.

Ed flung himself back on his bed and sighed. ‘God I’m such a loser. I can’t even talk normally to my fucking roommate. Who just so happens to be a hot guy that likes talking to me. Ughhhhh’ he though with frustration.

After a few minutes of thorough mental self-deprecation, he remembered the reason he’d come home straight from work. Reaching into his backpack, he pulled out Ryzam’s journal and began reading it now free of distractions and prying eyes.

After an hour, he’d gotten through the first chapter of the “Transformation of Self” section. He didn’t really understand much of the context but it seemed to be some sort of occult book with lots of references to magic and alchemy. Having little knowledge on those fields, Ed was largely lost. The first chapter had ended with a lead up to the following chapter “Physical.”

Outside his room, Ed heard Luke’s door open and his footsteps coming out. “Hey man I’m heading out now… Yeah I’ll meet you at the Casa… Haha yeah it’s gonna be wild…” Luke said probably on the phone with one of his friends. The door opened and then closed again.

Ed focused back on Ryzam’s Journal and flipped the page. It listed a set of instructions that appeared to be a magic spell of sorts. Ed didn’t really believe in magic but he was curious to try this out as he was curious.

“To metamorphose, it is best to start with something familiar to oneself. To catalyze and inform the transformation utilize a fragment of the desired form and will it over yourself with an incarnation and a witness to the change. In lieu of a witness, a mirror may be used to observe the change.” The instructions dictated.

On the margins, an annotation had been scribbled. “For beginners, transform into another person. Wear something that contains a piece of them.’

With the clarification, Ed thought of who to transform into. But with the instructions, there really was only one ideal candidate. He left his room and walked around the apartment, making sure the coast was actually clear. He headed towards Luke’s room and opened the door.

His roommate was trusting and didn’t bother employing extra security measures like locking the door. As Ed went inside he realized he’d never actually been inside. He’d seen the room from the outside but never actually seen it in any detail.

Unlike his neatly organized and tidy room, Luke’s was messy. It had the college boy room personality: unmade bed with sheets balled up, dirty clothes scattered all over the floor, a pile of what Ed assumed was clean laundry on his desk chair, and a musky scent in the air that combined body odor and deodorant. Ed was strangely entranced by it all rather than repulsed. Just one more thing about his roommate he found attractive, even if in anyone else this would have been repulsive.

Ed looked around quickly for whatever he could grab before settling for a pair of sweatpants that smelled like they’d been used at the gym.

——————- • ——————

Back in his room, Ed stood in front of the mirror staring at his reflection. Ed was thin and lacked any definite muscle definition. He was a “perfect twink” as he’d heard someone refer to him in high school once. He’d always wished he could put on some weight or muscle but he’d been gifted very different genetic traits.

He stripped off his clothes and focused more on his own reflection. He looked at the sweat pants and brought them up to his face. There was a lingering smell of sweat inside that drove him hot. It was Luke’s smell. Luke, his hot roommate who he was about to try becoming. He felt his dick twitch and begin to harden and rise. He sniffed Luke’s dirty sweats and rubbed his erection.

“Mmm Luke you smell so good. Let me smell like you too.” He muttered, now in heat.

He slid the sweats on and looked at himself in the mirror. The size difference became more apparent than ever. The sweats wouldn’t even stay on if he wasn’t holding them. His waist was much smaller. His thighs and his legs were thinner. He couldn’t even fill them in properly. But not for much longer, he thought now committed. He stared at the mirror and spoke as instructed in Ryzam’s journal.

Ed closed his eyes. “Farewell to the form of Edward Newell. Before thee witness myself, Lucas Martin.” He said with a voice that didn’t quite sound like his own yet was his own.

He opened his eyes again and stared at the mirror. It was still himself, Ed the shy nerd. He sighed in frustration, embarrassed he’d even thought this was real. Yet just as he was about to drop the sweats, a tingling emerged all over his body. It first started over his legs then intensified. It felt like the last time he’d gone to the gym and did an intense workout, his hamstrings burning and his legs barely able to support his weight. He collapsed on the ground.

His legs shook and the fabric of the sweats now felt more tight against his legs. He saw his thighs expanding under the fabric, his legs thickening as muscle was building up. His feet, uncovered, expanded. His thin toes widened and a coat of fur grew over them. These were definitely not his own feet.

Looking down at his bottom half, Ed concluded that this was definitely not part of his original body. Below the waist where the sweats sat was somebody else’s body and it now existed in an awkward attachment to his own skinny body. But he was still aroused by this. A new dick imprint created a tent. He slid down the sweatpants and pulled out the new dick.

“Holy fuck. So this is Luke’s dick…” He said in surprise and flicked it, a shiver going through his body.

Then the change seemed to resume. The same burning feeling spread above his waist, now concentrating on his abdomen, chest, and spreading across his arms. His stomach bubbled and churned, his skin expanding with fat and muscle filling up the space. His chest ballooned out and he could feel his ribcage grow underneath. He winced through the process and heard the other change.

“My voice…” Well not his voice. But it was definitely Luke’s. The sensation had spread into his neck now, hijacking his vocal chords and his throat. He looked at the mirror again, now erotically entranced by his transformation. His body was shifting in such an interesting way. The skin altered slightly in coloration, his chest and stomach bubbled like water over a stove. New mass came with it. He reached for his, no… Luke’s cock and couldn’t help but stroke it.

The mirror displayed such a bizarre scene. Something that looked like Ed, yet not Ed, that every second showed more and more traits and features of Luke.

“Hey there Ed, you’re doing great. You’re starting to look just like me. How do you like this juicy cock?” Ed told himself, obsessed with the reflection in the mirror. “You like my big arms? My pits?” Ed raised a muscled arm to expose a pit and took a whiff. Yeah that definitely wasn’t his scent.

“Yeah baby boy. Take a big whiff.” He said, now breathing harder. He loved Luke’s voice saying these dirty things.

The changes had now come to his head. His hair darkened a bit, going from his original blonde to a dirty blonde. His face widened, with his cheeks taking on some extra flesh. This was no longer Edward Newell. This was definitely Luke.

He began panting and furiously jerking Luke’s cock until a heavy shot of cum exploded out and dirtied the mirror, breaking Ed from the trance. “Fuuuuuuucckkkkk. You did so good, Ed.”

His body sore from the transformation and slick was sweat now expunged a new musky odor that Ed was very pleased by. He stood up disoriented by his new height and approached the mirror. The thick cum was wiped away with his tongue that found Luke’s baby batter tasted amazing. No wonder he had so many hookups coming and going. Ed had been missing out.

With the mirror cleaned out he could get a better look. And a what a nice delicious look it was. Hehe. “Luke” eyed himself up and down. This was definitely his hot roommate. And he now wore him exactly. He grabbed his phone and snapped a pic.

“What’s up world? It’s me Lucas Martin. But y’all can call me…” He said flexing into the mirror. “Luke. Hit me up for a good time.” Ed grinned cockily. This was an expression he couldn’t see his roommate doing but he found it suit him.

[traintrainingmontage]

Thinking more about Sir Handel today, and about what motivates him. Several engines in the RWS have this kind of characterization: egotistical and self-important until something happens and it knocks them down a peg or two. Rinse and repeat until they become better people.

However, all of them have different reasons for why they might act this way: in Gordon's case, it's because he genuinely feels that he's all that and that it's his job to advise the whole railway on what to do. For James, it covers up his anxieties about not being good enough. For Thomas, he thinks he's the hardest worker there is and his natural curiosity gets the better of him. Even Duncan is from a factory, where he likely led a rather hard life much unlike the kinder and more relaxed Skarloey Railway.

So what about Sir Handel? Pride in one's work is one thing, but pride alone isn't enough to form a complete picture of one's character. What drives Sir Handel is his desire to both be important and be needed. What he wants most is job security, to know that he won't be let go again. To know that he's valued. Thus, he acts important to get others to believe that he's important. He has pride in his abilities, but pride and ability aren't always enough, as he's come to learn. He needs to be indispensible.

Sir Handel was the express engine of the MSR for many years, until it went under and he and Peter Sam were sheeted up. They were then bought by the aluminum works, and worked there until again, they were no longer needed, and finally bought by the SR. I think that those experiences, particularly the MSR's closing, wore painfully at him; he did his very best, and had to watch his friends and coworkers disappear, until it was his turn. Losing his home and his grandpuff would have certainly been painful, especially with no immediate recourse, followed up by working a distinctly unglamorous job at the aluminum factory until they too let him go. He had it all—a job he could be proud of, friends, family—and then nothing, except for Peter Sam, who was in the same boat.

Upon arriving at the SR, Sir Handel is disdainful; he sees a run-down Skarloey, an overworked Rheneas, old sheds and line, and (in his opinion) awful coaches. I think there's a few reasons for his initial attitude, given the context above: 1) Peter Sam recognizes Skarloey as a famous engine, which means he is more important than Sir Handel, despite his terrible state. Of course that would rub Sir Handel the wrong way; he wants to be the most important and most loved! That's the (safest) best way to be! 2) Given the state the railway is in, I think Sir Handel would see it and be nervous that it's close to folding like the MSR was. They clearly had enough money to buy him and Peter Sam, but there's still a lot that needs help. He may not be confident that the SR will last just yet, despite the management saying so.

Furthermore, his protests about pulling trucks and not wanting to work make perfect sense given that he only wants to do high-profile, important things. He was an Express train; of course pulling passengers is way more important and reputable than anything else! He's not just proud and/or lazy; Sir Handel is actually a pretty hard worker. He just also wants to be seen and treated as important, because important engines get to stay. Important engines have job security. He goes about it all wrong of course, but I think that's why being shut up in the shed really stays with him—he sees that he's put himself in real jeopardy of losing his new home, and from there, he gets his act together. I also think that's why he does such a 180° about Skarloey—it was never just about Skarloey handling the coaches better, although that was part of it. It was about Skarloey (and the management) not blaming him and making sure that the passengers still got to where they needed to go. It was about finally reconnecting with others in a way that I think he needed and wanted to, but couldn't let himself do until then, until he was sure that he and Skarloey were, in fact, cool given his earlier rudeness. This is the turning point, imo, where he finally feels like the SR is becoming home.

All of this is to say that Sir Handel's personality, while initially seeming similar to other engines (like James), comes from a pretty unique place. He wants to be important and needed, to feel secure in the knowledge that he has a forever home, and work hard for it. Sometimes (often) he needs to be humbled, of course (after all, he is still quite the prideful engine!) but overall, it's interesting to consider why he might be the way he is.

Somehow it's 4:30 AM here so here's a sleepy headcanon for an engine that I love but never talk about: Sir Handel.

I think that out of all of the younger generation of engines, Sir Handel is the one who actually has the most potential to lead the various engines of the Skarloey Railway should Skarloey and/or Rheneas no longer be around to do so. Why? He goes through a lot of growth as a character over the course of the books, and unlike Peter Sam, who is rather happy-go-lucky and just has unfortunate things happen to him, Sir Handel is humbled time and again by his own ego and mistakes. As we've seen over the course of the RWS, it's the humble engines with level heads who are the most successful, and just as Skarloey started foolish and became wise with time and experience, Sir Handel undergoes a similar arc.

There's countless instances of Sir Handel being bratty and getting his comeuppance, but over time, this particular trait seems to be tempered more and more. In the stories in Four Little Engines where he throws tantrums, doesn't get along with the coaches or trucks, and is not terribly keen on working, he's clearly still in his bratty phase, testing the limits of what he can get away with and hoping to only do the jobs he wants. There's consequences for his actions, certainly, but they don't seem to stick too well until he's shut up for a few days. He then tries to get along better with the coaches... and they run him off the rails instead. However, when Skarloey takes his train and earns his respect at the end of the book (a far cry from Sir Handel calling him rubbish at the start), we start seeing his character begin to change for the better... at least a little bit.

In The Little Old Engine, we have Sir Handel feigning being ill to skip work on Gordon's advice and the consequences come back to bite him hard. What's interesting about this particular story is that it really feels like Sir Handel actually internalizes this lesson in a way that he may not have previously; he realizes for himself that he hadn't thought this plan through--even before he's punished for it--once he sees what's happened to Peter Sam. That's growth right there; he's never been shown to have that sort of self-reflection before now.

In the next book, Gallant Old Engine, we finally have our beloved story "Steam-roller," where Sir Handel gets his special wheels and Skarloey goads him into facing off against George. He's more insufferable than usual at the end, up until the kids claim that he was almost beaten by George, and so he shuts up about it. It's clear that Sir Handel is starting to get that there are always consequences for his ridiculousness, particularly when he least expects them.

Once we get to Mountain Engines, though, Sir Handel's demeanor has settled down quite a bit. When he has a bad day in "Mountain Engine" and he badmouths the coaches, Skarloey calls him out on his behavior and he actually blushes and feels a little ashamed after Rheneas' subtle admonishment while talking to Culdee. A younger Sir Handel certainly would have leapt to defend himself (although his comment about scrapping the coaches really does feel rather cruel given that he basically said, out loud, that just because they were "awkward" with him, they should all be sent to die).

Finally, in Very Old Engines, Sir Handel is rather well-behaved, although he's also in the spotlight less. He goes to get his trains when he needs to and stops making a fool of himself. Moreover, he acts in concert with the rest of the engines and really feels less like the troublemaker of the bunch. (And of course, we get to see him being rambunctious in his youth once more in Duke the Lost Engine.)

By the time we get to the Chris Awdry books, Sir Handel has mellowed out a lot. He feels more reliable, even though he's still impatient and a tad foolish. He does pull a prank with his firebars, but it's because he thinks Peter Sam doesn't deserve to laze about—something of an improvement over not wanting to work himself. It's clear to see that while he's still Sir Handel and still has an ego, he's learned from his mistakes, and now that he's over 100 himself, he's not quite as full of himself (or stupid) as he was in his youth.

While I do think that Sir Handel's personality lost some definition after Mountain Engines, I also enjoy that his character arc has been defined by lessons taught by the three older engines (particularly Skarloey) on the railway. It feels like an inheritance of sorts, a passing of the torch, which is appropriate given the mentor/mentee relationship established all the way back in Four Little Engines.

(Sequel post: Sir Handel and Peter Sam's Inherited Roles)

[dear-ao3]

tomorrow is my last day interning in nyc and i am incredibly sad about this but this does mean tomorrow night i get to photo dump on here cause i don’t have to worry about revealing my location anymore

[burinazar]

i think the made in abyss concert today pressed some kind of healing reset button on my soul btw

[cementcornfield]

https://x.com/vikingzfanpage/status/1867748114540433549?s=61

ummm excuse you justin, that is your best friend

lol really though!!

but nah, i touched on this in my tags of a rb of this tweet. like to me it isn't a huge deal or anything. they're obviously still close, they just don't talk in season (which they've both said before). but they spent time in france together this offseason and have also said that they love each other and are always gonna have that connection so i'm not too worried! friendships go through stages sometimes, and adult friendships are just kind of like that, even for football players i guess! (some of my absolute best friends in the world, my favorite people, i only talk to once a month if that. and like a real deep catch up session happens only a few times a year. it's just hard! and i can say for sure that me and my friends do not have nearly as much going on as these two guys lol)

but anyway i'm also gonna take this opportunity to ramble about some more ja'marr character analysis lol. so like, it's becoming pretty clear that ja'marr is deadset on keeping tee and joe with him as long as possible (not gonna get into contract details or likelihood at the moment because that's all still in the air of course. but like, ja'marr's intentions at least are clear at the moment). and it's also obvious how much ja'marr treasures his friendships! he loves his guys and thrives off of being around them! i wonder if like, the evolution of his relationship with justin has to do with how extreme he, tee, and joe are being about contract stuff right now???

like justin and ja'marr were SO close for awhile there. from the hyper competitive but clearly loving friendship they had going on in college. the way they were always together on the sideline and always doing their dances and making up ridiculous elaborate handshakes <3 the way all of their joint interviews involved so much laugher and loving glances. and even after joining the league still talking about each other in the media and how much they love and support each other even as they're still super competitive. hell, when i first became a fan in 2022, ja'marr would still be streaming with justin almost every week lol. (i think justin has stopped streaming and maybe doesn't even do much gaming-wise anymore, which may have been the main way they kept in touch tbh. like, many such cases for the men i know in my life lol)

and now they're at the point where they have so much else going on, that even though they love each other, the constant conversation and all that isn't as present. (and ja'marr has kind of made it clear that that started on justin's end. like, ohhh he doesn't text me back blah blah blah, however true that is 🤔). and i feel like, even though ja'marr probably understands, that had to have hurt. again he values his friends so much and is at his best mentally, emotionally, and athletically when he's around them!!! i wonder if that taught him something about like, "if i want to keep these people i love in my life as much as possible, i need them to stay on my team. justin went to a different team and something that was so beautiful and important to me changed. i can't have that for tee. i can't have that for joe. we need to figure something out" which like, could absolutely be me digging depth into something that isn't there but at the same time it makes sense motivationally for me!!! like did he sob on his agent's shoulder one night about how much he missed justin and how he couldn't stand the thought of that happening with tee (I WANT TO PLAY WITH HIM FOR ETERNITY!!!) and the agent was like, hey, we can do something about this actually! send me his info!

[thecurioustale]

I had a read of this today, and shall share my thoughts!

First, by virtue of its brevity, this ended up being your first fictional work that I've ever read. I've been holding off on delving into your existing body of works till Jennyffer Episode 10 was finished so as not to cross the streams of two different works. (I'm not sure if that's even a thing for you, but if it were me and I had two works out, and I got feedback on both of them at the same time, the effect would be anti-synergistic / less than the sum of its parts.)

Anyway, let's start at the end, with translation stuff: I didn't read the note at the end of the story till, well, I got to the end of the story! While I was reading I had been thinking to myself how very impressed I was by your English proficiency. You've already demonstrated vast skill here on Tumblr, but this story was written in a way that seemed to lack any error at all: quite a high level of polish! So when I saw that it was originally in Spanish and adapted to English with the help of a translation service, that made sense. As an native English speaker of some repute myself, I can vouch for the good job Deepseek did. That said, as I had been reading your story it reminded me of The Days of the Deer, the book you recommended me which I am currently reading. There is a certain impersonal quality to it. (I want to stress that my use of the word "impersonal" is neutral here, and does not carry an aesthetic judgment; I'll get to those later!) The Days of the Deer speaks in an extremely simple style, with absolutely no playfulness in the language, and everything is stated declaratively and matter-of-factly, e.g. "Old Mother Kush understood that it was time to leave the room." At first I had thought that Liliana Bodoc was imitating the style of the old myths, which are often written in such a style. But as I went on I began to wonder if it might be an artifact of the English translation. There is virtually no figurative language, no "having fun with the wordsmithing," etc. And, fair enough, some authors don't like to engage with that aspect of authorship. But it felt rather impersonal, and now that your story here also has that exact same style, it makes me wonder even more if this in fact a translation artifact and not representative of the warmth of the original text. I would be interested in your opinion on that, actually, as it will help me to learn and better understand Bodoc's writing.

Another aspect of your story, which also exists in the nebulous realm of possibly being related to the translation or is perhaps a deliberate choice of style on your part, is the curious use of vocabulary. Days are called "cycles"; the world is said to be "illuminated" rather than "shining" or "bright"; the place for urinating is the "designated area." This kind of style, where "the most common word is seldom the one chosen," reminds me very much of the midcentury science fiction writers in English, who wrote like this as a way of evoking an alien, exotic quality of their extraterrestrial settings and beings. Is it on purpose, to illustrate just how different this version of humanity is? Or is it Deepseek's doing, and the vocabulary in the original Spanish wouldn't read this way? When I was younger I used to reach for "more expensive" words myself; it's how we incorporate them into our own vocabulary naturally, I think: My very ambitious vocabulary in the past gives me access to those words today in a much more fluent manner. And you did mention that you wrote this story six or seven years ago, so perhaps this is what's on display in your story?

I enjoyed reading this story! I am still learning about you, and, as I know so well, with my own fiction being so different from my nonfiction, there is a lot to be learned about you that isn't necessarily accessible through your day-to-day nonfiction writing here in Tumblr. So your fiction is potentially a different viewpoint of the same "Amandonian" monument, offering different perspectives thus, and the revelation of new faces and aspects. Having read two of Rob's novels recently, I was also reminded of that...how there's just so much about him that I don't know, but which is hinted at only through his fiction.

Since this was my first exposure to your fiction besides Jennyffer, I was very curious to see "what you've got to say." I found your introduction ("a quick exploration of an alternative world where humans evolved to be solitary animals (like bears or tigers) instead of a social species") to be an immensely helpful orientation, as I felt grounded in the purpose of the story immediately, and I think that this helped me to enjoy it more. (Which raises the topic of how one should introduce their stories, which I will leave for another day.)

The story was very much a still life, a mixture of worldbuilding and thematic description, without any plot or internal "point" per se. As you know, I do tend to enjoy that kind of writing :3, so I found that agreeable. Indeed, I like that you didn't take any of the several stereotypical offramps that presented themselves. The attacking boy and his ensuing death was not used as a plot twist, which I would have found dissatisfying. The other neighboring humans make no appearance in the story (except for the distant cries of one at the end), which I was sure would happen at some point, but I like the story better for having not done so. The focus was solely on the protagonist and his isolation.

I am a huge fan of the "zoomed-in third-person omniscient" narratorial point of view. I use it myself in most of my fiction: It mimics the third-person limited POV whenever it wants to (and it frequently wants to), but is capable of instantly relaying external information to the reader or hopping into the minds of other characters. So I enjoyed the extra embellishments in your story that were not in the protagonist's own knowing, such as the number of breaths left to the boy or the very meta revelation that the protagonist was having an important thought for the first time. Etc.

I found the premise of your story interesting. For me, it served to underscore how unlikely such a humanity actually is. The humanity you describe in your story, Homo solus, couldn't exist from the stock our own species. They would die out very quickly. Our social nature and support of one another probably accounts for more than 80 percent of our survival as a species, throughout history. Probably a lot more than 80 percent; I picked "80" arbitrarily as a ratio that I think would be hard to argue with by virtue of understating my case. Considerable pre-speciary evolutionary adaptations are required for Homo solus to be viable. This seems to be the case in your story, as Something Weird apparently happened a little farther up the family tree to the female half of the human precursors, which carried forward into Homo solus, while the male half appears to be much like those of Homo sapiens. It's fascinating that you would choose for female members of Homo solus to be so unrelatable, menacing, and dangerous, while giving us a highly-relatable, skillful, and intelligent male Homo solus protagonist, "The Man."

But, to get back to your story premise, I wanted to what you actually think about it? I make no assumptions here; I was chastened recently when, after reading The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen and offering commentary, Rob pointed out to me that he didn't actually agree with the AI doomerism premised in his story. That thought had honestly not occurred to me while I was reading it! Obviously I know in the abstract that writers don't have to agree with the things they write, but I'm so used to my own vantage point of having a glacially slow pace of publication that, to me, it would be insanity to spend time and energy on a story premise I don't actually endorse. But you are not me, so I wonder: What do you think of this premise?

I had thought at first we were headed for the Ferengi at first, some supremely ultra-selfish picture of society. Maybe a dig at "capitalism" for good measure. But you didn't go in those directions at all; you stuck very literally to the idea of "a species that is solitary, not social," and that high-faith implementation forces a complete rethinking of the premise, with all previously attached strings cut off. And that's what got me to what I said above: The premise is completely unworkable without significant evolutionary divergence in our precursor species.

As far as I know, there is no species among the simians who could account for a viable Homo solus. For female domination, the closest animal on the Earth to humanity that I am aware of is the spotted hyena—quite a ways off the family tree from us, and they're still very much a social species! So what you're proposing isn't biological realism so much as the pure whimsy of fantasy, the lightening of one's boots off the ground and floating up into the air of possibility without the constraints of real-world history.

I found it quite refreshing! Much as I love the vividness of the anchor that is realism, sometimes, when you float away from it at precisely the right moment, the most amazing ideas come into view.

I think, as far as negative criticism go, I only have one: I think the altercation with the boy under-delivered on the emotional intensity that I expected. I am glad that the altercation wasn't "drawn out"; I think it was about the right physical length for me. But I think there is a sentence of contextualization missing. Or something, at least, to either deepen the emotional intensity and dramatic tension of the encounter, or else to otherwise make the encounter stand out more. I do think it did a good job of illustrating just how starkly solitary and non-social Homo solus is: The boy's motives are only briefly pondered, and his behavior is judged in the most conservative fashion without any benefit of the doubt owing to the potential danger of grievous harm or death. It really underscores why conservatives exist at all: In lieu of more information, it's safer to just kill everyone. =/ Ironically, this reminds me of my theory that conservatism is fundamentally a prey animal instinct. Humans have this strange blend of predator and prey within us, perhaps because we are both highly territorial amongst ourselves and situated at an intermediate (albeit high) tier in the food chain, with many animals who would have hunted us in the past. And so we are a deeply afraid species, but not a helpless species, and thus are quick to violence—and impossibly enamored of our machismo and chest-thumping and faction-building. Homo solus wouldn't have access to the latter, and wouldn't have need of the other two, but the option of violence is still there.

And yet it is interesting that such a creature would nevertheless still take pets—subservient utility animals—and form social bonds with them. If I were being a stickler I might be inclined to call that a continuity error, although in truth I think the notion probably deserves a full trial: Maybe it really is the case that a sapient but strictly non-social species could still form social bonds to its servant animals. A fascinating idea...

Anyway, there you have it! I enjoyed the story. Thanks for posting it. I only found your post because I specifically go to your page sometimes to see what you're up to, since there is too much for Tumblr to show me in my main feed. But I still miss a lot of your stuff because you're a frequent poster. So if you ever have something you want to alert me to, feel free to reach out directly.

And for everyone else, go read Fip's story! It's short, and she made an interesting thing.

i posted a new short story in AO3

HOMO SOLUS a quick exploration of an alternative world where humans evolved to be solitary animals (like bears or tigers) instead of a social species.

for some reason tumblr is not letting me post the link right now, so you will have to follow it manually, right here!

[justalittlebluetiefling]

.

[silvercaptain24]

Growing up is weird

[kurokoros]

There’s a part time tutoring job in the city I’ll be moving to for uni in the fall, and it pays $30-55/hr for part time, and that would actually be perfect for me considering I’ve had several years of prior tutoring experience and it works nicely with my grad school schedule asdfghjkl

[roseband]

...

[inbabylontheywept]

The Motherfucking Lizard King

No one at work trusts my boss. 

He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town. 

Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse? 

I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed. 

He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now. 

So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it. 

---

My job has glue traps. 

No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life. 

If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just 

You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you. 

People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out. 

I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me. 

I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps. 

And just because of that, they're willing to follow me. 

---

My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.

People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was: 

Do NOT mess with animals in the building. 

So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences. 

I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop. 

Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve. 

And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went 

I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover. 

So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell. 

So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair. 

I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.  

I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.

A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right? 

And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes. 

And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said

Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil? 

I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question. 

Who grabbed the snake? I asked. 

Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right. 

ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No. 

---

The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago. 

We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again. 

You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think. 

But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be. 

That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.

---

The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.

Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read

"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."

I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.

How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.

You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.

I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.

Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.

---

The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.

We'll see if he squanders it.

[scarletpiano]

The thing about grief is you still have bills to pay

[diqldrunks]

snap out of it — max verstappen

requests are open! send me anything!! [nav | inbox]

a/n: i love max so much i want to bite him — hope you like part one!

content: rivals to lovers, reader is in a crappy relationship, red bull!reader, there’s a little time skip!!

ignore the dates being in jan, it should be december!! part two is here

messages

instagram

yourusername just posted!

liked by maxverstappen, user 1 and 32,628 others

yourusername ✓ having a solo date <3

2,726 comments…

user2 cutie!!

user3 solo dates aren’t for people in a long term relationship babes?!

user4 she can go on a solo date if she wants to 💀

user5 so um where’s her boyfriend who’s supposed to be taking her on dates?

user6 you’re foul 😭😭

user3 THIS IS WHAT I WAS SAYING

user7 he hasn’t even liked the post 💀 he makes it so easy to call him out as a shit boyfriend (liked by maxverstappen)

user8 fr he always looks so annoyed at y/n just being near him

user8 tfw your teammate/rival likes your instagram post but your boyfriend of 3 years doesn’t: 😆 (liked by maxverstappen)

user9 maxy/n for the win

user10 he probably spends more time with her than nathan

user11 NOT MAX BEING MESSY WITH THE LIKES-

[time skip]

twitter

instagram

gridnewsf1 just posted!

liked by yourusername, user23 and 42,363 others

gridnewsf1 ✓ Max Verstappen has spoken out against his teammate’s boyfriend, Nathan Reed. Reed, a reserve driver for Ferrari’s F1 team has been dating Y/n L/n for almost three years after being in F2 together.

Reed publicly agreed with Sky Sports Commentator Danica Patricks after she stated it was not as ‘natural’ for women to be an F1 driver compared to men; tweeting, after Patricks began receiving backlash, that “different genders have different capabilities, and it is a fact that a man’s capabilities are higher than females.” Y/n L/n is yet to comment.

Verstappen, after a reporter asked if he believed this to be true regarding L/n, answered “I think it’s ridiculous that either [Patricks or Reed] can be saying that — Nathan especially. It sounds like a bitter mediocre man child is upset that a woman is doing his dream job, much better than he ever could.“ He then continued, saying “men like these aren’t ones you want to be dating.”

Twitter users have commented that they believe Verstappen and Reed have always bad blood between them, using the last slide as a reference (Verstappen after spotting Reed in the Red Bull garage)

9,636 comments…

user24 DAMN

user25 he popped off fr

user26 Y/N LIKING THIS? IS THIS THE END OF NATHAN??

user27 I THINK YOU’RE RIGHT

this could’ve been done like an hour earlier than it was but i got distracted looking at max photos on pinterest

max taglist; @see-me-wilding @forzacharlie16 @pastryfication @i-wanna-study @popsycles @iambored24601 @persephone-haven @eclipsedcherry @reidsworld @sepptember @angstynasty

[darknight3904]

buy me presents, baby!

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: The holiday season is packed enough as it is. On top of it all, Joel has a cute little girlfriend he just can't seem to resist spoiling...

Warnings: 18+ Explicit Smut Unprotected p in v, literally one spank, riding, missionary, Joel's a bit of a tease, pregnancy mention (no ones actually pregnant, don't worry) No outbreak au, modern au, viagra mention, unspecified age gap (mid/early-20s reader in mind), Rich older bf Joel!! I don't know how Hinge works sorry.

Word Count: 2.7k

Based on the song buy me presents by Sabrina Carpenter

Masterlist

The local mall was a buzz with what you swore was the entire state of Texas. Everywhere you turned, someone was brushing by you, mumbling an excuse me or just grunting an apology.

"Maybe we should just go home...There's so many people here." You say as you stand off to the side.

"Oh c'mon we drove all the way here, don't you wanna take a peek at some things, darlin'?"

Joel's warm southern tone sent a tingle of warmth down your spine. He was always so charming, that's how he won you over in the first place, his charm.

You'd stumbled across his Hinge profile six months ago. Your friend, Jess had jokingly set your profile to look for men over ten years older than you.

"Trust me, Dilfs are a whole different ballpark, girl!"

You hadn't believed her, after all, who would want some old half-bald, blue pill-taking man sitting across from them at dinner?

Things of course changed late one Wednesday night when Joel, 40 popped up on your screen. Not only did he have all his hair (and teeth!) but damn it he was so hot.

For lack of a better word, Joel was the perfect gentleman. He'd picked you up for your first date right at 7, opened all the doors for you, and even pulled your chair out for you to sit at the restaurant. Conversation had flowed so easily with him, that you'd almost forgotten you had just met the man across from you.

Fast forward a few months and here you were walking the mall with the head and Co-owner of Miller Construction Co. Joel's big hand cradled yours as he opened the door to Sephora.

"Said you needed some more of that lip balm you like right? Let's get it now."

You nodded and let him pull you into the store. He always did this, pulled you into stores so you could look at things. Of course, that wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't always buying half the things you picked up to admire. Hell, one time you were at Macy's with him and made a joke about the adult Spiderman onesie that was being sold, two days later it was sitting in your lap in just your size.

Jess had told you to enjoy it, to let him buy you everything your little heart desired but you couldn't help but feel guilty. You already spent most of your time sleeping at Joel's place, showering there, and eating his food. What were you even working for if you couldn't buy a measly lip balm for yourself?!

You pulled the one you wanted from the shelf. You'd run out a few days ago and your lips had begun to crack without it. Your eyes fell down to look at the price that was beside the scent

Twenty-four bucks?! That was nearly two hours of working at the shitty secretary job you had down at the local library! Whoever was setting prices at this company needed a serious reality check.

Joel's back was turned as he was staring at an array of brushes, mumbling that no one needed that many things for their face. Perfect! You could sneakily set this back on the display and-

"What're you doin'? Isn't that the one?"

Shit.

"Well yeah, but..."

"Then put it in the basket."

Joel's outstretched arm came up to present the little black and white basket he'd taken from a worker when the two of you entered.

"I just think that twenty-four bucks is too much for a little tube of lip balm. I think I'll just switch back to Carmex or Burts Bee's."

"Darlin' I'll buy it." Joel gave you a warm smile, "Let me spoil you."

"No way! You just bought me dinner!" You shake your head, thinking of your leftovers that sat in the backseat of his car.

"And now I wanna buy you a lip balm," Joel says taking it from your hands to put in the basket.

"Nope. We're not getting it." You say, pulling it from his hands and tossing it back on the shelf, "Let's leave."

Joel protests but lets you pull him from the store and back to the car.

Three days later...

Joel never liked shopping. He'd always been the kind of guy who bought the same shirt in multiple colors just because it made sense in his mind. Even when the company had taken off and he and Tommy were living comfortably instead of paycheck to paycheck, he hadn't really found an excuse to indulge and spend a lot of his hard-earned cash. Sure, he'd dropped a lot on a new car after his poor pickup truck had gotten rear-ended two years ago, damn teen drivers. Then, there was the new roof that his house needed last summer. But, both of those were easily paid off and Joel often found himself with a bank account higher than necessary.

It never bothered him, after all, it just meant retirement would come quicker, and if he ever had kids they'd have a lot of inheritance. Yes, Joel was happy living his simple lifestyle. Of course, that was until he met you...

You were just perfect in Joel's eyes. From the moment he saw you on that dating app Tommy had stuck on his phone, he'd known you were the one for him. Initially, he'd felt weird when he'd swiped on you, after all, you were so young compared to him. His fears though, they'd vanished the moment you started laughing at his lame jokes, adding your own even worse ones to the conversation. Yes, you were just perfect for him.

Now, it was December, the holiday season was in full swing and Joel found himself itching to spend some of that cash that'd been sitting in the bank for ages. He'd spent the last six months trying to keep the spending to a minimum, you always scolded him despite enjoying all of his gifts and he'd hate to make you feel uncomfortable. But after today when you'd put that little lip balm back on the shelf, he'd felt sad for you. Joel hadn't missed your small frown when it clattered back onto the display next to the others. You wanted that lip balm and, you were going to get that lip balm.

It was as if he was a man possessed. Three hours had passed since he'd walked into this mall and his arms were begging to feel a bit sore. Sure, he'd bought you the lip balm but before he knew it, he was wandering into all the other stores, looking for things that'd make you smile and cover his face in kisses. As he loaded the bags into the trunk a bit of worry crossed his mind. Had he gone overboard?

No, there definitely could be more...

December 25th, Christmas Morning at Joel Miller's

The warm scent of coffee had your eyes slowly pulling open. You groaned and pulled yourself out of bed, fumbling to pull Joel's shirt on before finding your discarded panties from last night. Whoever told you that older men needed Viagra to get it up clearly hadn't met Joel.

You padded down the steps to see Joel hunched over the stove, flipping pancakes while his beloved coffee maker brewed.

"Morning." You chirp, wrapping your arms around him, and resting your hands on his soft belly.

"Good morning." Joel's deep voice filled your ears

You greedily let your hands slip under the waistband of his plaid pajama pants. Joel lets out a hum and scoots away from you.

"Keep that up and we won't be eating or opening gifts til noon."

You roll your eyes and go to pour him his coffee.

After a delicious breakfast, Joel pulled you into the living room where your jaw nearly met the floor. Last night when you'd passed out in bed after the third round, there had been six presents under the tree, three from him and three from you. Now there had to be over triple that.

"What did you do?" You ask, spinning around to face Joel.

"What? I'm not allowed to spoil you?" Joel asks, a boyish grin on his face.

"It's like you bought the whole damn store and put it in your living room." You point out

"Not the whole store, just some of it." Joel laughs

Nearly an hour later, you were sitting in a pile of wrapping paper and bows.

"Alright, last one," Joel says, pulling a small gift bag with a snowman on it out.

You sigh in fake exhaustion, "Hand it over, cowboy."

Joel snorts and hands you the bag which a moment later you find has the lip balm you'd put back the other day.

"Went back and bought it for ya. Got a little distracted though..." Joel smiles

"Oh, only a little? Is that why there's lingerie and a new pair of boots sitting in boxes next to me?" You laugh, "Not to mention you even bought me a new frying pan."

"Yeah, just a little sidetracked s' all," Joel says, looking at the many different things he'd found for you.

"Thank you, Joel." You smile earnestly, "It's your turn now."

"Why don't ya model this for me, darlin'?" Joel asks, pushing the red babydoll dress towards you

"But what about your presents?" You pout, "I put a lot of thought into the one with the green paper."

"Give me a fashion show, it can be part of the gift." Joel coerces.

"Ugh, you're lucky you're hot, Joel." You huff, scooping the fabric up and heading off to the bathroom.

Joel lets out a long whistle as you reenter the living room, "Well, would you look at that?"

"Pervert." You scoff as he pulls you into his lap

"Not allowed to appreciate my girl?" He asks, pressing a kiss to your cheek

"You just wanted to see what my boobs looked like in red lace." You point out

Joel gives you a grin, busted.

"Nah, what makes you think that?"

Joel's lips capture yours and his hands secure themselves at your waist. Your resolve loosens as your hands curl against the soft skin of his chest.

"What about your presents?" You ask breathlessly when he pulls back

"Got everything I want right here." He says, "Let's go upstairs, this old man needs a bed if he's gonna fuck you silly."

Joel's hands are back on you the moment he kicks the bedroom door shut. His lips find yours again as his hands begin to pull the straps of your outfit off your shoulders.

Your back hits the mattress and one of Joel's big hands snakes down between your thighs.

"Still wet from last night." Joel laughs into the kiss

"Mmm, I think it was from earlier. Seeing you shirtless, cooking for me was hot." You admit

"Yeah? Y'like me cookin' for ya?" Joel asks

"Course, who wouldn't wanna see a hot old man cooking pancakes for them on Christmas?" You tease

Joel delivers a sharp slap to your inner thigh, "Not that old, darlin'."

"Sure you aren't."

You push at his shoulders and straddle him, loving the way his hands gently rest on your thighs.

You hum in delight as his hips lift and he pulls his pants off, finally exposing the rest of his body to your greedy eyes. Joel's lips ghost over your nipples, teasing them with his tongue as he lifts you up so he's notched at your entrance. Eager, you move to push him in but he stops you.

"What do ya say, baby?" Joel teases

"C'mon Joel..." You groan, "I want it."

"Ask nicely then," he clicks his tongue, "Go on,"

You huff a small breath of frustration and Joel's hands squeeze your hips.

"Please," You mumble

"What was that? This old man needs some help hearin' ya." Joel prods

"Please, fuck me, Joel." You groan, wiggling your hips as the head of his cock teases your hole.

"S' what I wanted to hear," Joel says, pressing a wet kiss to your neck

Joel's loud groan mingles with your girlish one as he lets you go to take him in. Your mind goes blank as your hips begin to rock. Joel's hands roam your body as he pinches and teases the sensitive flesh of your chest.

"C'mon girlie, give it to me." He encourages

"I'm trying." You huff, the feel of your burning thighs was slowing you down

A loud slap rings out followed by a yelp from your mouth. Joel's big hand rubs at the reddened mark on your soft skin.

"Don't worry, I gotcha, sweetheart, let me."

Your world turns as Joel lays you back down on the soft mattress, pushing your knees to your chest you're practically folded in half as he pushes in again.

"Fuck me..." Joel groans in pleasure above you.

"Already am." You laugh breathlessly

Joel shakes his head but you see the smile playing on his lips.

Rough thrusts steal your breath away as Joel begins moving his hips in earnest. The softness of his belly meets yours as he leans over you and presses his lips to yours. A hand pushes into the middle of your shared mess and a finger toys with your clit. A whimper escapes your lips as Joel groans when you tighten around him.

"Gonna let me come inside ya hmm? It'd be the perfect Christmas gift for me darlin'..."

Your brain is mush as Joel's finger plays with you while his cock relentlessly slams into you. Your stomach tightens as he continues.

"I-I'm gonna-"

"C'mon let it out, soak my fucking cock." Joel commands

As if he's magic your body yields to him and you come. A strangled groan leaves Joel's lips while your eyes slam shut.

"Good girl." Joel coos down at you, his hips never slowing.

"Joel!" You gasp, the pain of overstimulation beginning to ebb at your brain.

Joel lets out a soft moan of his own, his brow furred in concentration.

"Where?" He asks

"I-Inside" You gasp

Joel smirks, "Yeah? Gonna take it like a good girl? Let me knock ya up, pop out a brat for me in nine months?"

"Yes!" Your hips arch off the bed when his hand comes down to grind at your clit.

Joel's hips stutter against you and a loud moan escapes him as he fills you. Gentle thrusts follow as he comes down, dropping your legs as he does.

Joel flops down beside you on the bed, his chest heaves a bit as the two of you catch your breath.

"Y'okay?"

"Always." You say looking over at him with a dopey grin on your face

"Wanna go finish those pancakes?" Joel asks

You laugh, Joel was such a typical guy, thinking with his stomach, "You just fucked me and threatened to knock me up but your first thought is pancakes?"

"Well, I was gonna get a washcloth and clean ya up first, if that matters," Joel says

"Wow, what a gentleman." You scoff

"Glad you think so." Joel mumbles

You lay next to him in silence, listening to his breathing and watching his eyes flutter shut in satisfaction.

"What if we did?" You ask

"Did what?" Joel asks looking at you, "If you're talking about round two, I'll need a few more minutes, I'm not twenty anymore."

You slap his shoulder and roll onto your belly, "No, perv. I meant a baby. You were just talking about getting me pregnant."

Joel looks over at you like you've lost your mind, "Are you being serious right now?"

"Totally. You don't want a mini us running around?" You ask hopefully

"Course I do baby, didn't ever think a pretty young thing like you would want that with me though," Joel admits, pulling you towards him so you're resting partially on top of him

"Really Joel?" You scoff, "You're like the hottest guy in the world."

"Now you're just buttering me up." He laughs his head hitting the pillows behind him

"I'm serious!" You smile as he presses a gentle kiss to your lips

Soft silence flutters around you as you watch the gears turn in his mind.

"Gonna have to marry you if you start popping my kids out." Joel grins

"Of course," You laugh, "You think I'm gonna go into labor without a ring on my hand?"

Joel's nose brushes yours as he leans a bit closer to your face, practically breathing in your scent. His hand grasps yours where it rests on his chest.

"Guess I gotta start looking at jewelry then, darlin'. You're gonna have the prettiest ring in all of Texas."

"Ugh, there you go again, plotting to spend way too much money on me again." You groan in embarrassment.

Joel leans in and steals a kiss from you, the taste of pancakes and syrup lingers on his tongue as he does.

"Gotta humor me here," He smiles into the kiss, "Let me buy you presents, baby."

Consider this a mini-rant against the people behind the prices at Sephora. I'm looking at you Summer Fridays...

Want more Joel? Check out my series All Too Well.