#i have a party this saturday and god knows how much i've waited for the day to arrive...

[andreakedavra]

feeling pathetic rn !!!

[find-roronoa-zoro]

Roronoa Zoro X CisFem Reader

10.5

"Is F/N ok?" Nami asked entering the house between Luffy and Zoro.

"Why wouldn't she be?" Luffy turned as she slipped her phone back into her pocket.

"Well Robin just text me that Perona said she and Law broke up."

"What?" Ace, Sabo and Al croaked from the sofa.

"I guess she overhead a conversation with Shanks down at the bar." Nami shrugged sharing the armchair with the youngest brother.

"It's already late and she's with Shanks, this probably won't end well." Sabo murmured checking the time on his phone.

"What does that mean?" Zoro asked claiming the recliner.

"Those two tend to go on benders when they are together." Ace answered.

Zoro's phone whistled in his pocket, a text.

F/N : sitpploo

F/N : Zooorooooooo*

Zoro : drinking i see

F/N : wah says who?!

Zoro : those texts for one.

Zoro : Also Perona reported to her girlfriend

F/N : how rode

F/N : rude*

F/N : just blowing off steam

Zoro : i heard about that also

F/N : God damn. People need to mine their own shit

F/N : min*

F/N : ugh Mind!

Zoro : lol maybe you should have some water

F/N : water

F/N : not fun

F/N : hey... HeeeeEEeeY

Zoro : send a single sentence woman.

F/N : demandinf much?! Anyway! Co.e drink with me I hear you're some sort of fish

Zoro : fish?

F/N : yeah yeah.. Ya know the saying? Like he drinks like a fish.

F/N : fish is Zoro

Zoro : where are you guys?

F/N : ah well Shanks left, Yasopp disappeared and Benn is threatening to leave. But I'm at the redline

"I gotta head out." Zoro stood abruptly pocketing his phone.

"Uh ok." Ace glanced up at him.

"We'll see you Saturday." Sabo added as he reached the door.

"Yup, see ya."

Nami and Al shared a look before Nami pulled out her phone to shoot Robin and Perona a text.

When Zoro arrived at the bar it was closing and you were clinging to Benn near the door.

"We can just share the uber and you can pay for the rest of the ride."

"Benny," you slurred brows knit, face twisted into an adorable pout, "don't ya know ya can't leave a drunk girl alone in a stranger's car?"

"I can just take you." Zoro interrupted.

"Greenie!" you cheered throwing your arms around his neck.

"Problem solved. No drunk girl in a stranger's car." Benn mocked pinching your cheek.

"Who's drunk?!" you called.

"Have fun with that." Benn said to Zoro while ruffling your hair.

"Hey!" you protested, "What's that mean?"

"Don't worry about it." Zoro suppressed his laughter.

He had seen you this drunk before at your welcome home party and like before he found you quite amusing.

"Let's get you home." he placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you forward.

"Nooo...whaaat? Do we have to go home?" you whined leaning into him to keep yourself upright.

"F/N, it's almost two. There's no where else to go." he opened the passenger door for you.

"We could go to your place." you suggested glancing up at him with rosy cheeks.

He flushed hard.

"Wait!" you stepped back throwing your hands against his chest, "N-not like that! I-I mean to keep drinking. I just don't wanna go home yet."

Zoro quickly regained his composure and hoisted you into the truck, "That's fine but all I have is saké."

"I looooove saké!" you cheered fumbling with the seatbelt.

He closed the door and rounded the truck shaking his head. You were definitely a handful. When he climbed into the drivers seat you were still talking.

"You know we have an office in Japan? The saké is better there."

"You worked in Japan?" he asked.

"No I ran London, but I've been a few times." you paused and gasped startling the greenette, "We should go!"

"Go where?"

"Japan!" you grabbed his arm enthusiastically.

"Sure." he snorted.

"And you can see a real dojo that's like hundreds of years old."

He peeked at you sideways at the stoplight as you continued making travel plans you'd never remember. You quieted down realizing you were being stared at.

"I'm serious."

He chuckled at your pouty tone, "I can see that. Maybe we'll revisit the subject when you're sober."

"I'm not that dr-unk!" you hiccupped.

He laughed again.

"Bad timing!" you playfully slapped his arm.

"Stop yelling woman." he covered your mouth with his right hand.

"Sorry." you muttered against his palm sending a shiver through him.

He quickly retacted his hand and made the turn into the apartment complex.

"We'll just have a couple. You're drunk enough." he placed two small white cups on the coffee table in front of you and turned back toward the small kitchen.

"I'm fiiiine." you giggled pulling your legs up onto the leather sofa.

"Sure." he agreed returning with a chilled bottle.

"You don't drink it warm?"

"Normally yes but this is plum, it's better cold." he took a seat on the floor across from you.

You tilted your head.

"What?" he asked removing the cap and filling the cups.

"You don't seem like the kind of guy who likes sweet drinks."

"I'm not but this was a gift and you like sweet drinks so why not?"

You flushed briefly that he knew your preference forgetting in your haze that he had served you before you knew him. Zoro pushed your cup across the table and watched you concentrate on picking it up without spilling.

How was every face you made so cute?

Slowly you leaned forward with your cup out in front of you. Zoro did the same tapping the lip of his cup to yours.

"Kanpai!" you cheered bringing the sweet liquid to your lips.

He mirrored you and downed the cold drink. It was surprisingly good. Not too sweet with a pleasant plum aftertaste. You set your cup down near the bottle indicating you'd like more.

"That was so good. Whoever gave it to you must have some money, I don't think that bottle is cheap."

"He does." Zoro chuckled pouring another round.

Soon the bottle was empty and you were lying back on the sofa lazily singing a song you'd had stuck in your head. He quietly observed you from his spot on the floor. Slowly the words to the cheerful tune you sang turned into some sort of chant.

"More, more, more moooooooooore,"

"I'm not sure you can handle more." he murmured meeting your half lidded gaze.

"How rude." you gasped in feigned offense.

"Hush, you know you've had enough. How about some water?" he suggested rising to his feet, "You're gonna feel like shit in the morning."

"You worry too much." you tried to sit up and failed falling back into the cushions.

Zoro chuckled and passed you to get a couple of water bottles from the kitchen. When he returned you had fallen asleep. Shaking his head he bent down to scoop you up tensing when you whimpered and snuggled into his warmth. You stirred when he placed you on the mattress muttering that it was hot.

"Here." he pulled a shirt from his dresser and handed it to you before grabbing a blanket, "the bathroom is right across from the foot of the bed. You can wear that to sleep if you want. I'll be on the couch so, call me if you need something."

"Greenie," you called weakly rolling over to face him, "stay in here with me."

A rosy pink dusted his cheeks, "I don't think that's a great idea."

"Because you think I'm sexy?" you boldly teased.

"Exactly," he deadpanned, "go back to sleep."

With that he switched off the light and left the room before he lost his will to not hop in the bed with you.

_____________________

You sat in the bed wracking your clouded brain trying to remember where you'd ended up and what you had done, if anything.

"Fuck." you whispered as the bathroom door opened and Zoro stepped out with a towel lazily tossed over his wet hair.

[hicomsstuff]

The party

Summary: you decide to go to a party that your crush invited you too, as it's getting late you are about to leave but someone stops you

Warnings: smut, swearing, sex, kissing, hickeys, p in v, pet names, (let me know if I've missed something!),

On a Saturday night you remember you have a party to go to "oh shit! I forgot about Chris's party tonight, I need to get ready" you ran upstairs and start to look in your closet for a dress and high heels to wear

"Hmm I might just wear a silk black dress and some white heels!" You put your outfit on and luckily it actually looks good together, as your straightening your hair you get a text from Chris

(Texting)

Chris: hey y/n! You gonna be here soon?

You: hey Chris, yeah I'll be there in about 5 or 10 minutes!

Chris: alright, I'll be waiting

"Finally I've finished my hair, I just need to do my makeup and get my handbag and I'll be ready to go" you start to do your makeup and add some eye shadow that matches your dress colour. You walk down stairs and grab your handbag

As you get in the car, you get a phone call from your best friend who was also invited to the party. You pick up "girl!! Will you be here soon?" Your best friend asks "yeah, I'm on my way now" "good, see you soon"

Finally, you get there then step out of your car and walk into the party "Hey girl!" "Heyy y/n! I think Chris is over there if you wanna talk to him" "alright thank you!" You start to feel a bit nervous to talk to him since he's your crush but you hype yourself up

"Hey Chris!!" "Ahh you made it" Chris gives you a hug and you both start talking. A few hours into having drinks and talking

It's only you, Chris, your best friend, some other girls and some guys so there's only ten people left since everyone else went home

"Why don't we all play truth or dare, since there's only a few people left" Chris asks, everyone agrees and sits down in a circle

"Okay, so who wants to go first?" Chris asks everyone "I'll go!!" Your best friend says "hmm I dare...y/n to sit on Chris's lap" you turn your head and look at Chris "well come on, y/n" Chris says while smirking and opening his legs

You start to walk over and you sit on his lap trying to find a comfortable spot "Chris's can you take that stuff out of your pocket?" You ask whispering since everyone else is talking over you while continuing to play the game

"There's nothing in my pockets, but keep moving baby" you realise what he means and you look at him in the eyes holding eye contact

"Baby?.." you ask him while trying not to scream "mhm, baby" he says

A few hours go by and everyone is leaving except for you "it's just me and you now" Chris says while smirking "oh yeah..I should uh probably go home now" "stay, y/n. you can stay the night, darling"

"You sure it doesn't bother you?" "I'm more than happy to have you over, don't worry" Chris says "thank you so much!" You say while giving him a hug

"So you wanna come to my room?" "Yeah, of course" you both start to walk to his room but you don't realise there's a step there

You nearly fall over but Chris catches you just in time before you hit the ground "oh shit, are you okay?" "Oh my god, I'm so sorry"

"Hey, no don't apologise!" Chris says while smiling at you, suddenly you pull him closer to you. Then he decides to kiss you and you kiss him back

He picks you up while still kissing then takes you to his room and throws you on the bed "fuck..if I knew you were such a great kisser I would of kissed you a long time ago" you start to blush at Chris's comment

"Can i-" before Chris gets to finish his sentence you say to him "please, Chris do whatever you want to me" Chris smirks and takes your dress and heels off leaving you in your bra and lace underwear

"You're so gorgeous..you know that?" Chris finally takes your bra and underwear off, "Chris please I need more.." you say whispering in his ear, Chris goes down to your pussy and sees how wet you already are

"Did I just make you feel this way, y/n?" He asks "no, it happened and I sat on your lap..." "Hmm, I thought so" Chris starts to rub your clit as well as sticking his tongue in you "oh my..Chris, please don't stop" you say while moaning

"You taste so fucking good, but I'll give you something better, baby" Chris takes his pants off and his boxers "do you think you can take it?" You nod your head while he grins

He puts his tip against your clit making you moan and grunt, Chris's head falls back as he slowly puts it in you

"You feel so good.." Chris says, "fuck I love you Chris" "I love you too, darling", "Chris I need to cu-" before you finish your sentence he pulls out and goes down to your pussy and cleans up your cum

"You did so fucking good for me, y/n" he says while kissing you on your neck giving you hickeys "mmm" you moan quietly while he gets some of his clothes for you

"You wanna wear some of my clothes to bed, baby?" "Yes please" Chris gives you his sweatpants and hoodie

"Thank you" you put on his clothes and hop into bed with him "darling, you belong to me okay? Remember that you're mine"

"I'm yours?" "Yes. You won't be talking to any other guys but me." "Okay, I won't I'm all yours" you say while smiling then falling off to sleep in his arms

(The next morning)

You start to wake up to see Chris looking at you and brushing your hair out of the way of your eyes "good morning, sweetheart" "good morning, baby" you reply

Both of you start to get up and you tell him "I had lots of fun last night, chris" "I'm glad, I did too..anyways want me to come with you to your house?" "Yeah of course"

You and Chris get in your car and he decides to drive, as your driving Chris starts to notice you're staring at him "you good, love?" He asks

"Yeah, your just so handsome..I can't keep my eyes off you" Chris leans over and gives you a kiss on the cheek

Finally your home and remember that your best friend was going to be coming over today "oh shit! I forgot my friend is coming over today" you says with an panicked tone

"Don't worry, we can tell her that we are dating. We will have to tell people at some point so why not start now?" "Your right, Chris"

You go inside and show him around the house then you get to your room "I love your room, sweetie" "thank you, baby"

You and Chris start to make out until you hear your best friend get to your house "hey y/n!, where are you?"

You and Chris start walking downstairs while holding hands "girl, is there something I'm inturupting?" "No! Well actually we are dating...it's kinda a long story but last night I slept at his house and we hooked up"

"Oh my god finally! Y/n had a crush on you" Chris looks over to me and smirks "oh really?, y/n" Chris asks while pulling you close "uh yeah..I liked you"

"Well I'll leave you guys be, I will see you tomorrow y/n" your best friend says while opening the front door to leave

"Hmm, I never knew you liked me" Chris says while picking you up in his arms "oh hush.." you say jokingly

You and Chris go to your bedroom and lay down and start to watch a movie, as your starting to fall asleep again in his arms he pulls you even more closer so you feel safe "I love you" he says "I love you more"

[amateurmonastic]

The two Christmases

I hear it's the Christmas season now. One of the division managers hung a wreath on the door of their office suite, the ugliest blue and silver spangly tinsel thing I've ever seen. Some of the city's public decorations have gone up, like the big silver snowflakes mounted on the streetlights. My classical radio station has announced their schedule of Christmas broadcasts for the season (and there are Hanukkah broadcasts, too, thanks to their Jewish program manager).

It's not Christmas in my house. In my house, Advent started on Saturday, November 30th at sunset and continues until sunset on December 24th. That's when Christmas starts.

After years of observation, I've come to the conclusion that there are really two Christmas seasons, one sacred or religious, and one secular. They are related, and they overlap somewhat, but they're not very similar.

Secular Christmas starts on Thanksgiving Day, a day associated variously with genocide, overeating, parades and football on television, and fighting with family members. Religious Christmas starts on December 24th.

Secular Christmas goes immediately into the hell season of Black Friday, a day of greed, violence, and business profits. Do "Black Friday sales" actually benefit shoppers or business owners any more? I don't even know. Religious Christmas focuses on the birth of Jesus, an exceptionally vulnerable infant who is at the same time the full presence of God with humanity, as a human person. Jesus is the gift we didn't know we wanted, but he's perfect.

Secular Christmas calls for lights, loud music in public places, parties, shopping, (proving to people how much we love them by the amount of money we spend on them), and jollity, merriment, gregarity. Above all else we must be jolly and cheerful as the dark deepens and the lights get brighter and the music gets louder, even if we are alone, lonely, isolated, depressed.

Religious Christmas, following on Advent, offers a joy that can co-exist with loneliness, sadness, grief, solitude, or whatever emotions we may be having. Because Advent is about accepting the darkness, accepting the silence, accepting the waiting, and getting in touch with our deepest longing, and then Christmas offers the gift that we have longed for.

Secular Christmas ends at New Year's Day, or sooner, when the live trees that were decorated at Thanksgiving are now dry, faded trash in the back alley. Religious Christmas extends into January, to Twelfth Night, or January 5th, and then turns into Epiphany. Or, if you're really old school, it's Christmas until the Feast of the Purification of the Virgin on February 2nd. The twelve days of Christmas are not the twelve days before December 25th, but the twelve days from Christmas Eve until Twelfth Night.

Now, I can hear some of my readers saying that whenever or however it's celebrated, Christmas is a Christian religious holiday. And, of course, historically, that's correct. There could be no secular Christmas without the religious one. And there might be no Christmas celebration as we know it without customs from the Romans' Saturnalia or northern Europe observances around the winter solstice.

From the point of view of anyone not a Christian, especially if they're an observant practitioner of another religion, Christmas just feels like six weeks of people yelling "Christ is best!" in their faces while jingling bells and wearing Santa hats. On the other hand, I've known non-Christians who have no problem with participating in secular Christmas, or doing something very similar and calling it "Yule" or "Winterfest" or whatever. They like decorating trees and putting up lights and singing Christmas songs. But I understand, really. It would be weird for me if I lived in a Muslim society where everyone was expected to fast at Ramadan, instead of one where I can guess that a Muslima bus driver is fasting because I've heard it's Ramadan, and I can see her prayer rug rolled up on the dashboard of the bus.

But from the point of view of an Episcopalian who grew up observing Advent, whose mother wasn't religious but never put up the tree until the last weekend before Christmas and left it up until my birthday in mid-January, the thing that's being advertised and celebrated and advertised right now looks and feels nothing like the Christmas that is yet to come. And every time I start to feel tense and stressed, I remind myself that it's not Christmas, it's only Advent, and I have no big preparations to make. I don't have to bake for a large and hungry family; I don't have to buy presents for people whose disappointment I fear; I'm not expected to attend any parties, except perhaps at work (and I like most of my coworkers just fine). And I'm no longer married to a church organist and music teacher whose workload doubles in December and makes him an even more demanding partner than usual.

Secular Christmas is the celebration of capitalism and extraversion, a forced denial of the realities of winter and of how often reality falls short of our expectations. I will be celebrating Advent for now, singing defiant hymns about the end of the world and waiting for the Gift I really want and know I will get.

Buy me a cuppa?

[thegeminisage]

it IS tng update time. saturday we watched "relics" and "schisms" and last night* we did "true q" and "rascals."

*times altered bc as usual im typing this up late at night

relics:

oh boy. ohhh my god

so like, i'd like to preface this with: i am not a scotty stan or anything. don't get me wrong i love the guy and i'm fascinated by the way he tricked me into thinking he had all ten fingers. like he's v fun and all. but im not like Extremely Emotionally Invested In Scotty. all right. that said

I CRIED. LIKE A BABY. no one was more shocked than i was. actually i'm sure catherine was not shocked at all

i didn't cry when he first showed up which is what i suaully do when i see spock. no, no, no, no. it was when he went to the holodeck and created the fucking BRIDGE OF THE ENTERPRISE. and they played the main theme!!! the sound effects were even the same!!!!!!! and like all his friends are dead now except spock and bones and bones frankly has one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel!!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO UPSET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

chronologically, this is also the last time we'll ever see a tos cast member coming back to reprise their role except for aos spock and um. an appearance which i do not wish to discuss now or ever. anyway it's definitely the last time in tng proper. and like yeah we have aos and snw and everything but those guys arent the OGs. AUGH.

also wah him saying the doctors are prettier on this enterprise. thats SO MEAN TO BONES………………….i miss him so bad and he's WAY prettier than beverly sorry beverly

i definitely wanted to kill geordi for yelling at scotty when he tried to tell his old man stories. im glad they hung out for the rest of the episode and that geordi treated him really niceys but it still felt a teensy bit patronizing of him at first like he was just doing it because picard told him to make scotty feel useful

THAT SAID. for once, i am pro picard, because picard is a giant nerd and he wanted to listen to scotty's old man stories as much as i did. not that i got to enjoy them while being blinded by tears. i'm actually genuinely tearing up right now while typing this just thinking about it. i think it was genuinely compassionate for picard to want to give scotty something he could genuinely help with in a way that WASN'T patronizing. like old people are just regular people you know. we all get old one day if we're lucky

spotted scotty's missing finger twice, which is two more times than i spotted it in my original watch of tos.

he remembered how to hide the missing finger (mostly) but forgot how to do his fake scottish accent. in his defense it's been ages and he was old but it was still funny

synthehol is wack. it's just another way in which there's no work-life boundary in tng. you're always on call, so you can never get drunk. you will NEVER have personal time aboard this ship. they can call you in your son's parent-teacher meeting. they can call you during birthday parties. you cannot raise your children here. but they do. anyway.

IT'S GREEN!!! i remember seeing a gifset of data floating around saying that to somebody, and then later i saw a gifset of scotty saying it in tos, but i didn't realize data was talking TO SOCTTY i thought it was just a reference!!!!!!! there were actually sooo many tos references in this episode, i was so pleased to hav caught them all <3

looooooved the dyson sphere. that was genuinely so fucking fascinating and it was the b plot!!!!! why can't it be the a plot!!!! it was so cool looking

i thot for a sec they were gonna kill scotty at the end and got REALLY worried but they didn't and he decided not to retire after all and good for him <3

anyway. that cry felt like a full-body workout. horrific.

schisms:

OFF GOES RIKER TO THE COFFEE SHOP

i waited so long to see the episode that gifset is from and it did NOT disappoint

my one sour note re: this ep was the beginning with data's poetry. can we please be nice to him and not loudly fall asleep in the front row. i know the circumstances are highly extenuating. i of all people understand sleep deprivation, which i am currently experiencing even as i type. but that was just rude!!! could he not have simply explained he was unwell and unable to attend!!!!!!! the crowd being restless was terrible. if you simply tell him that he has to have a limit on his poems he would understand. i'm glad geordi was an honest critic when data asked later but i would have liked to see data's results after incorporating his feedback. ok anyway

firstly, i loved when a little guy is sleep deprived. it was great when sam winchester did it and also great when riker does it

SECONDLY, that whole sequence with the table was fucking insane. everything getting darker and darker both literally and metaphorically and deanna starting to look uneasy near the end and riker's eyes being ABSOLUTELY HAUNTED and that table was basically like a chair, anyway

when they were like "yeah the aliens cut off your arm and reattached it" READER I HOLLERED. you can't just put a guy on a chair and tear his arm off and then make him forget stuff. please. it's been nearly 10 years.

when he's like theyre gonna take me again whether i want them to or not. yeah man they sure are. this isn't quite riker roulette but it is definitely adjacent

i think the best cure for insomnia is to be absolutely terrified of going to bed because you're still in uniform and have a tracking device on you because you are about to get abducted by fucking aliens. who could resist sleep after that.

i did wonder why he laid on the table so long before attempting his escape when time was precious but i doubt i could have done any better in his shoes. i sure did love the way that knife thing hung right above his neck though. i'm pretty sure we spent that entire scene hollering DISMEMBER HIM. TRAUMATIZE HIM!! and then they didn't <3 but i'm not even mad about it

anyway. 10/10 episode they need more space horror in star trek bc it's always fun. i remember reading that tos was originally meant to be space horror-y, but i found the pacing of those earliest episodes waaaay too slow. i want a star trek show with more dismemberment though.

true q:

mistakenly thot this episode was named qpid (got it mixed up) and was hoping for more of q wanting to fuck picard to so bad it makes him look stupid but all we got was one little arm around his shoulder. which was REALLLY funny because picard instantly made a face like he'd eaten sour lemon but we deserved more. to reiterate i do NOT want them to fuck i think the dynamic of q wanting to fuck and picard preferring to die first is the funniest possible set of circumstances

instead, q constantly displays predatory body language towards this EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL. he leans really close to her and whispers in her ear and all that stuff and i did Not like it

i kept waiting for this girl to secretly be his child, or for her parents to have once been friends with him, but they literally were just randos to each other. disappointing, especially after he vanished while she was having her emotional moment on seeing their faces

where do the puppies go when she vanishes them? do they cease to exist?? did she just kill 12 puppies on screen???? too horrible to contemplate. i wish i could make kittens out of thin air though. actually that would be a terrible power the world is overpopulated with kittens as it is but STILL.

i want to know more about the weather altering net. we could have an entire episode about that alone. you just...got rid of tornadoes? and forest fires? did you fix climate change??

riker almost being killed by an empty barrel sent me into fits. they didn't strap them down after what happened to worf? this spaceship gets jostled horrifically EVERY EPISODE. what are they thinking!!!!!!!!!

RIKER ROULETTE STRIKES AGAIN. her bringing him to the alternate dimension and trying to lay on the moves was bad enough but using her powers to MAKE HIM START KISSING HER? HELLO???? i'm still mad they wrote an episode about rape and just used it for deanna fetish fuel instead of actually discussing what this poor guy goes through. why is it somehow ok/not noteworthy when it's men. come on now

it was kind of silly to have this girl go "no way im a human forever" and then immediately solve climate change on this other planet because her lil crush (/VICTIM???) was down there. like that was so rushed and weird

ultimately not a very good episode. i only like one thing about q and they did NOT deliver. he was also a misogynist to beverly once...like, die

rascals:

this got a 1 on letswatchstartrek.com and i simply disagree. i would have given it a 2 or mmmaybe 3. well no probably a 2 but STILL. first of all, tng's children are ALWAYS charming, and these guys were no exception, save possibly the kid who was playing picard, who was fine until the tantrum scene/riker's son bit, at which point i wanted to die

i never want to hear riker say daddy again.

i HAAAATE the ferengi theyre racist theyre misogynist i HATE THEM.

i felt like there was a missed opportunity with obrien and keiko to have him be cool about it, instead of awkward like everyone else. like i obviously dont think they should be canoodling or anything, gross, but there's nothing wrong with a little platonic compassion. he got there in the end ig but idk it would've made a nice contrast

how old is their fucking baby??? i just looked it up and she was born at the beginning of season 5...her ass is NOT old enough to be talking yet let alone full complete clear sentences??????

anyway speaking of compassion............GUINAN AND RO

i actually unironically loved ro's little arc here. anyone who had a shitty childhood will tell you they'd cut off their arm before going back, but she had to go back anyway, and guinan neither pitied her nor minimized anything she'd gone through. instead she got to occupy that space in a totally harmless way and receive a little closure. while the rest of this episode was okay-ish to maybe less than okayish (i NEVER want to hear riker say daddy EVER again) ro's little bit was so so so good.

re: ro...i love that we don't constantly bring her past and situation up as if it's the only thing about her but nor do we shy away from it and how it's shaped her and the narrative has never once suggested she's too harsh or too angry or whatever. of course with a season and a half left there's still time to ruin it but so far her whole thing has been one of the very few instances where tng is doing everything wonderfully.

NEXT TIME: "a fistful of datas" (noooo it's a holodeck episode) and "the quality of life."

[autumncottageattic]

Favourite quotes from Bridget Jones's Diary (1996) & Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (1999), just finished re-reading them😄

It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting 'Cathy' and banging your head against a tree

He turned round, revealing that what had seemed from the back like a harmless navy sweater was actually a V-neck diamond-pattern in shades of yellow and blue — as favoured by the more elderly of the nation's sports reporters. As my friend Tom often remarks, it's amazing how much time and money can be saved in the world of dating by close attention to detail. A white sock here, a pair of red braces there, a grey slip-on shoe, a swastika, are as often as not all one needs to tell you there's no point writing down

Suddenly I realize I am waiting for the phone again. How can it be that the situation between the sexes after a first night remains so agonizingly imbalanced? Feel as if I have just sat an exam and must wait for my results.

Can officially confirm that the way to a man s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.

You should make the most of being single while it lasts, Bridge,' she said. 'Once you've got kids and you've given up your job you're in an incredibly vulnerable position. I know Jeremy thinks my life is just one big holiday, but basically it's extremely hard work looking after a toddler and a baby all day, and it doesn't stop. When Jeremy comes home at the end of the day he wants to put his feet up and be nurtured and, as I imagine all the time now, fantasize about girls in leotards at the Harbour Club.

'I had a proper job before. I know for a fact it's much more fan going out to work, getting all dressed up, flirting in the office and having nice lunches than going to the bloody supermarket and picking Harry up from playgroup. But there's always this aggrieved air that I'm some sort of ghastly Harvey Nichols-obsessed lady who lunches while he earns all the money.'

She's so beautiful, Magda. I watched her toying with her champagne glass despondently and wondered what the answer is for we girls. Talk about grass is always bloody greener. The number of times I've slumped, depressed, thinking how useless I am and that I spend every Saturday night getting blind drunk and moaning to Jude and Shazzer or Tom about not having a boyfriend; I struggle to make ends meet and am ridiculed as an unmarried freak, whereas Magda lives in a big house with eight different kinds of pasta in jars, and gets to go shopping all day. And yet here she is so beaten, miserable and unconfident and telling me I'm lucky . . 

Going out to meet Tom for tea. Decided needed to spend more time on appearance like Hollywood stars and have therefore spent ages putting concealer under eyes, blusher on cheeks and defining fading features.

'Good God,' said Tom when I arrived.

'What?' I said. 'What?'

"Your face. You look like Barbara Cartland.'

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (1999)

Jude had been to the gym where she ended up reading some article calling single girls over thirty 're-treads'. "The guy was arguing that the sort of girls who

 - wouldn't go out with him in their twenties would go out with him now but he didn't want them any more," she said sadly. "He said they were all obsessed with settling down and babies and his rule with girls now was "Nothing over twenty-five".

Whole dating world is like hideous game of bluff and double bluff with men and women firing at each other from opposite lines of sandbags. Is as if there is a set of rules that you are supposed to be sticking to, but no one knows what they are so everyone just makes up their own. Then you end up getting chucked because you didn't follow the rules correctly, but how could you be expected to, when you didn't know what they were in the first place?

"It's very hard for young people now," Elaine interrupted again, looking hard at me. "One can marry anyone when one is eighteen. But when one's character is formed, taking on the reality of a man must seem insufferable. Present company excepted of course."

All friendships between men and women are based on the sexual dynamic. The mistake people make is ignoring this, then getting upset when their friend doesn't shag them."

  "I'm not getting upset," muttered Shazzer.

  "What about friends when neither fancies the other?" said Jude.

  "Doesn't happen. Sex is what drives it. 'Friends' is a bad definition."

"It's not me it's a social trend," I said indignantly. "Women are staying single because they can support themselves and want to do their careers, then when they get older all the men think they're desperate re-treads with sell-by dates and just want someone younger."

  "Honestly, darling. Sell-by dates! Anyone would think you were a tub of cottage cheese in ASDA! All that sillydaft nonsense is just in films, darling."

"No, it's not."

  "Durrr! Sell-by date. They might pretend they want one of these bimbas but they don't really. They want a nice friend. What about Roger what's-his-name that left Audrey for his secretary? Of course she was thick. Six months later he was begging Audrey to come back and she wouldn't have him!"

[doodleoogles]

A Dream within a Dream

Her eyes were wide and bright, her cheeks a little flushed either from drinking or maybe that's their usual color. It's kinda hard to tell when I am very distracted by the way she touches my arm as she talks. The beer kept sloshing out of the bottle every time she waves it around to put an emphasis on her story telling. She's very animated, alive, warm, everything quite the opposite of how I am but it's turning to be one interesting night.

When the event ended, she waved goodbye when she saw me waiting for my ride home outside. Maybe it was that shiny look in her eyes or the concern I have over thinking she's getting home alone buzzed, I came over and asked if she wants to come with me. She thought for a bit, and asked "Where to?". "Will help you get home safe" was all I said.

We started walking. It was a busy Saturday night in this part of the city - every bar is brimming with young folks partying and having a blast. The sounds are faintly heard in the background but I was focused more on listening to her stories. "Sorry," she said, "I could be very chatty when I've had some drinks". I looked at her to say it's totally fine and I enjoy listening to her talk but for a moment I couldn't say anything when I saw how the neon lights reflect gloriously across her face. "You're very beautiful," it came out unexpectedly, I can tell by the way her eyes widen and her lips formed a small "o". That's when I noticed how her lips are almost the same color as her cheeks. It's an amazing tint between faint red to pastel pink, like the cherry blossoms glowing under midday sunlight. I snapped back to where we are when she raised both eyebrows and rolled her eyes, "Well of course I already know that, you don't have to say it out loud". She took a few steps ahead of me.

I threw my head back as I laughed. For some reason, this girl knows how to poke the fun side of life for me. "Hey don't walk too far" I said grabbing her as we turn to a quiet corner, away from the loud sounds and flashing lights. There's a lone lamppost lighting the sidewalks where we stand. "Where are we anyway, I don't see the main highway from here" she asked looking up at me with a frown. I am a few inches taller so I had to look down. How could anyone still look so arresting even when her brows are curled into a scowl is beyond me. It's becoming more difficult to think when my mind is consumed by wondering how those lips would taste like. "I could kiss you." I found myself saying, before I cupped her face with both hands and kissed her hard. She was taken aback for a second before deciding to kiss me back. She closed her eyes and held on to me. I had to pull myself away remembering that we are still out in the street which is a very unlikely place to make out.

"What???" I asked with a naughty smile, seeing how she looked at me. I felt the strong burning sensation in my thighs and know I couldn't help myself any longer. "Come with me" I whispered tracing her lips with my finger. I swept a few strands of hair away from her face, still staring at her eyes. I noticed her eyelashes are also long and full, framing her wide brown eyes. God, she's gorgeous without even trying. I don't remember much after I took her hand and led the way. All I know was I shoved everything aside that night, including what might happen after all this.

[pyreofsunflowers]

What I watched this week

Starting a new way for me to sperg about movies as your favorite 2 note filmsis. Ill try to make these as spoiler free as possible, these are just fun little thoughts I had and are not meant to be full plotline breakdowns!

(although i mean if you guys asked nicely i certainly would)

Drive (2011, dir Nicolas Refn)

Oh boy oh man do I ever love Drive. It's such a cliche thing to say, I know. But sometimes things are loved for a good reason! Aside from praising the score and cinematography like most people will (although Cliff Martinez and Newton Sigel knocked it out of the damn park in both respects!) I wanna talk about just how.... Heartwarming? This movie is? Drive to me is a comfy movie I can sit back and wrap myself in like a warm blanket. I want nothing but the best for Driver and Irene and I found myself almost crying at times. This was definitely due in part to Ryan Goslings awesome performance! I don't have too much to say about this one, it's a cozy watch and is my type of romance movie (is one with a gritty aesthetic and bloody car cashes.)

4/5.

Stalingrad (1993, dir. Joseph Vilsmaier)

I really really really wanted to like this movie. So much so in fact I stuck with it for all 134 minutes waiting for it to get good. Let's start with the plot and the characters - the characters here are. Meh. For a character driven, dramatic war story the characters fall flat, I could barely match the names to the faces. They all acted the same and there was no real way to tell them all apart. The chemistry between them was fine I suppose? I've certainly seen worse, but fine chemistry doesn't work when the characters are just so very boring.

Then you have the pacing, oh my god the pacing. For a two hour long movie, it really does a piss poor job at showing just how long, drawn out, and arduous the battle of Stalingrad was. It lingers too much on the characters, and jumps over key parts of the battle to focus on them instead. Now this wouldn't necessarily be a problem if the characters were engaging and well written. It also completely misses the tone of the battle, but this isn't a history lecture. I'm not here to tell you every single flaw this movie has in terms of it's history.

What I will talk about is how this movie handles Nazism. Because it does not do it well. I'm not trying to say you cannot make a war movie where the main characters are Nazis (Downfall by Oliver Hirschbiegel is a terrific example of this), but if you are. Do not do it like this movie does. This movie is a prime example of Clean Werchmat propaganda, where not just one but every single one of the main characters are horrified by the actions of the Nazi party. But every. Single. one. Except for of course, the officer played by Dieter Okras, but even then his cruelty is more that of a Saturday morning cartoon character than a high ranking Nazi. This film tries so very hard to make you feel like the main characters are not Nazis, and when they are forced to adknowladge that they are - it downplays it to a degree I found very hard to sit through.

2/5 (for the wonderful score, sound design and visuals.)

Scream 1 + 2 (1996, 1997, dir. Wes Craven.)

Big. Fat. Meh. I had absolutely no thoughts about either of these movies in all honesty and I really don't understand all of the praise they get. Boring kills. Boring characters. Far too long. Dated satire that doesn't hold up. Boring predictable twists. I know what I'm looking for in this movie, cool gory kills and Skeet Ulrich being a hunk. I wasn't expecting some wonderfully thoughtful satire of the horror genre, or a deeply unsettling movie that keeps me up at night. Yet still I found myself bored and disappointed.

Scream 2 did nothing to improve on the original, and if anything it was much worse. This time instead of being fine enough schlock you could show at a Halloween party which no one would pay attention to it was just kind of bland, boring and unengaging. The acting was much worse, The kills were far more boring, and the soundtrack was worse! Which was the only thing I liked about the first movie! I'm watching through all of these so I can go see scream 6 for my friend's birthday next week, and I can't wait to torture myself with even more of these boring ass movies.

Scream 1: 3/5

Scream 2: 2/5

[kittykatinabag]

Small context and update:

I applied for a typist job recently. Something that I know I'm over qualified for but it was remote and I'm getting nothing otherwise. I got contacted for an interview over a text message. Yes, a text message. This eventually leads to connecting on zoom messaging.

Then we do the "interview". Right off the bat, it's an interview over messages. Lol wtf but whatever, easier for me too. The first messages just reek of AI language. But I'm bored so I'll play ball. I go through the 20 question interview (probably the easiest interview of my life with how basic the questions were). An hour or so later (after the "executive team" reviewed the answers), I get accepted to the job with the shoddiest looking acceptance letter I've ever seen. Okay, now I'm invested.

At first I completely wrote this off as a scam. But I can find a company filing in their headquartered state of Texas on a government site. Their LinkedIn page is small but exists. Their website is pretty vague and corporate garbage talk though. The weirder thing is I cannot find the three names "employees" that were on the shoddy letters I had (description of the job, the offer letter, and the "person" who "interviewed" me). Not on LinkedIn and not on a quick Google search. And they're not exactly common names, so I'd at least assume to see one or two hits but there's nothing. The closest thing to an employee of this place I've found is a few managing partners (executive level) on their LinkedIn page, but his description of the company is exactly the same as the company's description. The other associated profile of a managing executive is hidden to mine, but they are based in Tampa according to the little information LinkedIn will display.

So today (at fucking 7 am, that's why this post is so damn early) I finally got this "person" I've been talking to on an actual call. I swear to god even the voice is AI. Either that or it's the most robotic man I've ever heard in my life. Oh, also they're not on video. Granted I'm not either, but if the other party has video on, I would have switched mine on too. The red flags are flying high and alarm bells ring.

Anyways this "person" I'm talking to claims they're going to send a check so I can purchase a MacBook (ew, what self respecting company besides apple uses MacBooks as their computer of choice?), a printer, and other office supplies. Lmao, we'll see if this is legit. (Also why the fuck do I have to buy it myself, shouldn't they buy it then ship it to me?)

He offers to do an electronic check since it's Friday and a physical one wouldn't arrive until Monday. But I'm like no, I want to wait for the physical check, I have to see if this is actually a legitimate operation. Also I want my dad to look at it when it comes so I have a pair of experienced eyes judging if it's legit or not. Also until I'm sure this is an actual company, I'm not giving them my bank details.

But yeah I have another "meeting" tomorrow at 7 am. On a fucking Saturday. Like wtf, another strike against them as a real operation. This time I won't bother actually getting out of bed and I'll just use my phone though. Or maybe I'll just not wake up and message at like 9:30 am when I actually wake up. Haven't decided yet.

I'm so so so dubious of this but I'm too invested in the story to back out now. And yes, I am recording as much of this as I can. I know the state I'm in right now technically is a 2-party recording consent state, but one, it's way too interesting not to, two, federally in the US it's one party recording consent (also in Texas where they're supposedly based), and three, one could argue that zoom is not a place that has a "reasonable expectation of privacy" (really rules-lawyering a bit on that one but if all hands meetings at my old companies could be recorded even without my consent, I consider virtual meeting platforms to not have reasonable expectation of privacy. Especially since they turn over messages and calls to law enforcement anyways, and your company can search through them.)

We'll see if this thing I'm getting myself into is an actual operation.

bro if this job I just "interviewed" for and got the offer same day isn't a scam or something illegal, I will eat a hat.

[lewisdiary]

Amber Lounge

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

WARNING: 18+, NSFW, explicit, alcohol, drugs, unprotected sex.

Word count: 3,600+

What's a beautiful girl like you doing in a club all by herself?

Another party, this time in Monaco. Your glass, filled with what seemed like a very expensive gin, vibrated to the the loud music playing in the club.

Let loose. You thought to yourself slightly lowering your body-con black dress and searching for familiar faces.

You looked around the VIP party you had been invited to. Ever since your dad's business put him on the "Forbes Richest" list your reputation had skyrocketed along with it. You were an A-lister yourself at this point, everyone longed for your appearance at their events, and as if your life depended on it, you attended. Your social media and events presence had helped you befriend the hottest models and richest rappers in the game and you quite enjoyed the lavish lifestyle.

You and your dad had flown down for the Monaco GP weekend, courtesy of the team principal of the most popular F1 team, Toto Wolff. Surprisingly, it was your first Grand Prix, and probably your last. The hospitality was, as usual, amazing but you found watching cars go around in circles slightly boring.

You took a rather large sip of your gin and started to tune into the beat, your body processing the large quantities of alcohol you had decided to ingest.

Because you hadn't been invited to the Grand Prix by a driver in particular and had failed to engage with any during the "boring" weekend, you found yourself attending the party and having to fit in all by yourself. Making your way through the club you encountered a few drivers, whom you recognised and recognised you, and their respective guests. You knew you weren't an easy face to forget, so it didn't take long before a few people started commenting about your presence.

Making yourself comfortable around the younger squad of drivers, your body swayed to the loud music that hit your ears. Your eyes shut as you engaged with the environment, allowing the melodies and strong base to sway you in.

"You're a Mercedes guest, aren't you?" A familiar voice rang through. Russell. Your eyes opened to look at the briton who stood very close to your ear, making sure his words were getting to you just fine. You nodded quickly, downing your drink before replying to him "Well, my dad is. I just tagged along"

His lips turned into a small smile as he took a good glance at you, leaning closer again he chatted a bit more; "and what did you think of it?"

"Not my vibe" You shrugged jokingly. "This though, is!" You put your empty glass down in a nearby table and pulled George into what seemed like a circle of people dancing, as In Da Club by 50 Cent started playing.

You both started dancing to the song, George's friends joined, and in no time you set yourself in the party ambient, drenching yourself in alcohol as more bottles were brought in at the request of Russell, Latifi, and a few other younger drivers you hadn't gotten your way around.

0 To 100 / The Catch up - by Drake came through the speaker.

This DJ knew his set you thought, before excusing yourself from the crowd that had embraced you. Feeling the need for a switch of environment you made your way to the bar. On your way, you drunkly greeted a few familiar faces, Bella Hadid and what looked like some actors who had come down for the Grand Prix.

Sitting on an empty stool at one of the bars in the Amber Lounge you asked the bartender for a glass of your favourite, gin. Your head nodded to the beat, it pounded hard. You knew you were more than tipsy at that point, but there was no sign of slowing down.

"Ayo! Bring us a bottle of your most expensive Prosecco!" You heard a voice yell through a line of people standing at the bar. A familiar voice.

His voice sang along to the lyrics, you were tempted to turn around to check who was yelling right behind your ear but your motion to turn was interrupted by the glass of gin you had requested being brought to you.

As you fiddled with the purse that hung around your shoulder, looking for your card, the familiar voice spoke again: "I've got that for you. On my tab, Mikey!" This time much closer to you.

You turned to your left, wanting to finally put a face to the voice your alcohol-filled brain didn't seem to recognise. Looking at the 5'9 figure standing next to you, it hit you that: you had failed to engage with any driver during the Grand Prix except for one.

It was more than obvious that you weren't going to be at the Mercedes garage and not meet their prominent stars. Lewis Hamilton and Valtteri Bottas. It was Qualifying day and after an amazing performance from both drivers, Toto, at the request of your dad had introduced you to his prodigies. You had gotten the chance to meet the drivers and congratulate them both for their front-row quali positions.

Bottas was the quiet one, after meeting you and your dad he excused himself to his driver room. Lewis was more of a personality, he knew your dad from reading about him and their conversation seemed to flow from F1 to business to possible future lunch meetings. He glanced at you from time to time, the conversation didn't interest you but he somewhat did.

You knew Lewis was quite the party boy and a ladies man, it suited his champion attitude, so seeing him at the club did not surprise you at all. He had won the Grand Prix you remembered, your mind doing a little backflip to being at the back of the garage and giving him a quick hug after your dad had burst into "here's the man of the evening" compliments.

Your altered system forced you to bite your lip at the thought of Lewis Hamilton standing in front of you.

"Hey, it's you!" His eyes widened at the realisation, his breath smelled like nothing but expensive alcohol. He was drunk as a skunk, and to your liking, he looked extremely hot.

You widened your eyes jokingly, following his cue. "It is I!" you laughed slightly, trying to mock his accent.

"I met you on Saturday, no? Your dad is Toto's friend. What's your name again?" He grabbed the Prosecco bottle that had been handed to him and moved an inch closer to you.

"Yep, that's my dad! Y/N!" you yelled through the gap left between the two of you.

"And what's a beautiful girl like you doing in the club all by herself?" He asked before singing to a few lyrics of the song that currently burst through the speakers that were placed at the bar.

"Enjoying herself." You grabbed your glass and, nodding at him as a thank you for the drink, you stepped down the stool and made your way to the dance-floor. Nervously nibbling on your bottom lip at your choice of words you wondered if a little mystery was enough to keep Lewis interested.

Your hips moved at the sound of Ginza by J Balvin and almost immediately, you felt a body swaying along with yours. Him.

Lewis took a sip of the Prosecco bottle he was meant to take back to his group of friends as his own hips fell in somewhat of a sync with yours, his free hand grabbing your left thigh pulling you closer to his body. His motion felt like a cue for you to bend slightly and begin to grind on the "man of the evening", he deserved a little fun after the hard-work he put out on the track.

Eyes started turning to you two, as your bodies got carried away by the effects of the alcohol you had been consuming. You shrugged out the thought of being watched. If Lewis was comfortable, you were too.

"Y yo hoy estoy aquí imaginando. Sexy baila y me deja con las ganas" Lewis sang along to J Balvin but he sang it so close to your ear, he knew it was meant just for you to listen. His raspy voice sent chills down your spine, you didn't know what the words meant but he made them sound sexy and it empowered you. You chewed on your bottom lip as the DJ switched songs and moving away from him you sipped on your gin, cheering at the former drivers that had put you in the mood to party, who shot you back just as happy glances.

"Come to my table! Let's have some fun!" Lewis' drunk voice echoed through the pounds of your head. He was quick to grab your arm and pull you through the crowd to a more secluded area.

"Y/N everyone!!" He yelled once you approached a group of what looked like more mature and older people. Everyone turned their heads at the two of you and cheered loudly at Lewis' introduction of you, almost as if they were celebrating you tonight.

Daniel Ricciardo. Winnie Harlow. Neymar Jr were some of the faces you were able to recognise at first glance, everyone seemed as slapped as you, some of the girls were high as kites twerking on anything they could put their asses to. Now this was more your vibe.

As the night went on; more drinks came, you danced and enjoyed yourself. Sexual tension between you and Lewis had become hard to ignore and the amount of alcohol in your body had you craving him... all over you.

It's now or never you thought to yourself.

Downing your, God knows what number, cup you looked at Lewis who found himself having fun with his mates, his smile widely spread across is face, revealing his perfectly sharpened canine teeth.

If anything, we blame it on the alcohol.

You mentally thanked the Dj as Wild Thoughts by DJ Khaled started playing. Lewis' eyes darkened as he noticed you approaching him. Your dress hugged your body perfectly, making your figure hard to look away from. In a blink of an eye you had found your groins against one another's grinding on each other to the beat.

As the song went on, Lewis spun you around, having you against him drove him crazy. His hips thrusted your back, his fingers digging the skin on your thigh. He licked his lips at the thought of you, and almost as if he had been waiting for this moment the whole night, his lips met your bare shoulder.

Without ungluing his figure to yours, his tongue slowly traced your neck, sending chills down your spine. "Have I told you how beautiful you look?" He mumbled in between kisses on your bare skin. He didn't have to win you over with compliments, he already had you.

You could feel death glares from Lewis' female guests because of the moment you and the world champion were sharing. You used the uncomfortable stares as your cue to leave, turning to Lewis for the first time in what seemed like a long night, you stared into his - slightly droopy from the alcohol - brown eyes. Your arms automatically swung to his neck, he had yet another bottle in his hand but did not hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist.

"I don't think your friends are enjoying this little show we're putting on" You mumbled, signalling to the ladies who stood in the corner. Your eyes went from staring into his to looking at his lips, your breathing had become intense as you felt Lewis's body awfully close to yours, his member slowly caressing your upper thigh. He licked his lips, noticing how badly you stared. At that point of the night neither of you could contain how much you craved one another.

"They don't have to watch" Lewis whispered, shooting a quick glance at the models who seemed rather upset with his lack of attention on them; back to you, before grabbing your arm and pulling you through a back door that was close to the VIP area you were in, he mumbled: "I know a place".

You found yourself stumbling through the front entrance of a rather fancy building. Lewis lived conveniently close to the Amber Lounge, and in no time, his body guards had escorted the two of you to the penthouse.

Thanking his driver, you made your way into the elevator, and as soon as the doors shut close, Lewis had you pinned against the back wall. His eyes darkened again, his breathing hard over your lips.

Even drunk as a skunk, he looked and smelled amazing.

You watched him bite his lip as he leaned closer, making you crave his lips on yours even more.

It felt like heaven. When Lewis finally crashed his lips on to yours, his body weight causing you to lean further against the wall... it felt like heaven.

You groaned as the kiss didn't last as much as you wished to, the ding from the elevator interrupting it.

You were given no time to take in the surroundings of Lewis' perky home. He placed his arms on your hips and you automatically straddled him, the heat was back like it had never left, your lips were on his yet again. He kissed you so passionately you thought he was compensating from not doing it earlier. He knew his way through his home, and as your tongues met, he quickly found his way through his living room to his astounding suite.

Lewis dropped you on his bed, his eyes filled with lust and hunger. Behind him, the view of Monaco’s nightlife and beach shone through his large windows, the moonlight setting the perfect ambiance for what seemed like an exciting night for the both of you.

Your thoughts were distracted by Lewis’s touch. He had quickly removed his shirt and tossed it aside, his fingers now rested on top of your wet panties, his thumb caressing your clit. His body hoovered over yours, you closed your eyes and tilted your head back, allowing your body to feel Lewis’ movements on your area.

“Look at me” He demanded, his voice as deep as you’d ever hear it. “You’re so wet” He mumbled once your eyes obediently met his. Starving for him inside of you, you pulled your dress up your waist not once breaking eye contact, which caused Lewis to smirk. He attacked your neck, sucking and nibbling on your bare skin, his fingers slid your panties to the side, and with a small bite to your neck he inserted two fingers into you. You gasped at his sudden movement and your walls clenched in pleasure.

“Fuck!” Lewis muttered as he felt your juices coating his fingers. As instinct your knees bent, allowing Lewis to get a better grip of your inside walls. He picked up the pace, thrusting his fingers in and out of you. As your moans started getting louder, you feared Lewis had neighbours so you instantly bit your lip trying to contain your pleasure-filled screams.

“L-Lewis” you stumbled on your words, he knew just how deep to thrust and how much to curl his fingers. You longed for him inside you, your fingernails digging his tattooed back and your head titled back.

“Yes, baby?” He was enjoying watching you squirm in pleasure, his member hardening at the sound of your voice in his room.

"Don't make me wait" you pleaded, not being able to contain your hormones any longer. You wanted him inside you: “I want you. I want you to cum with me”

As if your wish was his command, Lewis’ drunk figure moved his hand away, he stood in front of the bed, and you took the moment to remove your dress, revealing your perfectly shaped and tanned body. Lewis, on his turn dropped his jeans. Both of you stood in awe of one another for awhile, hunger rising. He observed your breasts, and you engulfed the length of his now erect shaft.

You slowly removed your panties and dangled it in front of him, teasing the man that was going to eat you alive, the room smelled like expensive cologne and Prosecco. Lewis jaw hardened, his tattoos made his muscles more prominent... You just wanted to dig your fingernails on his biceps at that stance. He grabbed the panties off your hand and threw them to the side along with your dress and swiftly made his way on top of you. Cupping your breast with one hand, his thumb played with your nipple whilst the other filled his mouth. You lowered your hand and began to stroke Lewis’ cock; as soft and deep moans leaving his throat, your spine shivered.

“I want you so bad” You whispered, placing Lewis right at your entrance, the tip of him rubbing against your wet and now throbbing clit.

“How bad, baby?” He asked, pecking your lips. With his voice in a demanding whisper, you were quick to realise how much of a tease Lewis was, he enjoyed making his victims beg for him. He knew how good he was.

“So… so bad” You moaned into his lips. Just as much as Lewis, you knew what you wanted and you too knew how good you were. Not wanting to waste another second you took charge, placing his shaft at your entrance you helped him penetrate you. Lewis broke the kiss he had engaged in with you, a loud moan leaving his mouth once he felt how tight you were.

It took you a second to adjust to Lewis’ length as he made his way in and out of you, although intoxicated, he noticed your slight discomfort: “Are you alright?” he questioned, his furry brows tightening.

“Shh… don’t stop” You reassured him. With your hand around his neck you brought his head down to yours, you had grown to love his soft lips around the flesh of your neck. At your call, Lewis lowered his weight on to you and steadily picked up the pace. Every thrust brought you closer to an orgasm, his cock rubbing on your perfect spot.

You clenched your walls, digging your nails through his tattooed back. “Fuuuck!” You heard Lewis scream in absolute pleasure at the tightness around him. Lewis’ thrusts became deeper and faster, his forehead had grown sweaty, the room steamy. As he picked up his pace, all you could hear was small grunts from his perfectly sound voice and the clapping of his thighs against yours.

“I’m gonna cum” He moaned through shortened breaths. His warning brought you to your dominance senses. The thought of having Sir Lewis Hamilton begging you to cum extolled your ego. Without thinking twice you shifted your weight to the side, motioning what was well understood by Lewis. It was your turn to be on top.

Lewis, at the realisation that he was sleeping with a woman who knew what she wanted, eagerly obeyed and placed himself closer to the headboard of his king sized bed, not minding that you had interrupted his almost-orgasm.

Feeling good about impressing the seven-time world champion you slowly crawled up to the man that looked at you so hungrily, lust in his eyes only becoming more and more visible. His jaw clenched again as you straddled his waist, his now, thanks to you, cream-full cock entering your threshold again. Another loud moan, this time from the both of you. You bent over slightly, placing your hands on Lewis’ shoulders for support as you started bouncing on him.

“Just like that baby” He sang to you, one hand was tightly wrapped around your neck, and the other slapped your ass as hard as he could bring himself to. It drove you crazy, it made you want more of him in you.

Your breathing had gotten harder and your forehead had met his. “I want you to cum for me” You demanded. Lewis knew he was close to his finish line, but wanted you to finish with him. As you seemed to enjoy, he kept his veiny and robust hand around your neck, giving it light squeezes every time he felt you really deep.

His free hand moved to your clit and you shot your head back in utter pleasure.

“Right there… Keep it right there” You begged, knowing exactly what was going to happen in the next thirty seconds. Lewis, in satisfaction, rubbed on your throbbing bud whilst his own hardened at every movement of yours. His teeth met his bottom lip and his eyes fell shut. You knew he was ready to release, but you weren’t going to let him off easy.

“Look at me” You called. Your ego growing with every sign of obedience from Lewis. His eyes watered a little, you knew you had him, and every thrust brought you both closer to your orgasm.

“Baby…” he whispered, his hand still in circular motions around your clit, his grip becoming weaker “Please” he begged, at no point breaking the eye contact you called for. Pleased with his submission, you mumbled: "Don't stop", and he understood the assignment. You both picked up the pace, his finger on your wet clit in circular motions and you on top of his cock, bouncing up and down.

Before you could say knife you felt your legs shaking, your whole body trembled as you released all your juices on Lewis' hand and cock, a loud moan leaving your throat, your voice echoing in the penthouse.

Sorry neighbours.

And with no time to digest the wonders that Lewis had done to your body, he quickly pushed you off him and you obeyed, his pulsating cock releasing right then and there, on his six-pack filled torso.

You were both breathing heavily, laying on your backs. The comfort of Lewis' bed took you in, your head pounding again from the intoxication, the large amount of alcohol still in your system. He chuckled slightly at the turn of events of that Monaco GP Sunday, his gaze never leaving his ceiling.

Eager and starving for more of you, Lewis found in his deep breaths strength to ask: "When do you leave?"

[allthemenofmydreams]

Back Home with a Trophy & a Baby- Ben Chilwell

It was the week of the champions final, Ben was busy with training and some interviews. But in his free time at night, he would lie next to me and always lay his head on my growing belly and talk sweet words to our baby.

I was 8 months pregnant, and we still didn't know what sex our baby was. We wanted it to be a surprise, even though we were dying to know. When the team reached the Champions League final and found out that it would be played in Porto. Ben and I started having little arguments on whether or not I should attend the final. Due to my condition, I was not recommended to get on a plane, especially when you are at a stage where the baby could be born at any moment.

The day before he left we had another little talk. We still hadn't decided if I would attend the game or not. Although the doctor had given us green light for me to attend the game because everything was under control and it wasn't a long flight. According to him, the baby was going to stay in my belly for a couple more weeks, but Ben wasn't so sure. He feared that maybe I would start having contractions during the flight or, worse, that the baby would want to be born while he was at the game.

I was in the kitchen making dinner when he got home.

"I think you should stay," Ben said, placing a flight ticket and the game pass over the table. "I will be more relaxed if you stay, but I will also feel at ease knowing that you are in the stands supporting me, so... I let it up to you".

I walked and stood in front of him, placing my arms around his neck and playing with his hair. I looked him in the eyes and said

"I'm going to be fine, I mean we're going to be fine." I took his hand and placed it on my belly so he could feel the baby move.

Ben smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

"I know, I just can't help but worry about you two".

"How would you feel if I thought about it over the next few days, and let you know what I've decided?"

"I'm fine with that." He smiled and then said, "what's that smell?"

"Oh, I made your favorite food because I was craving it," He laughed and walked over to the stove to serve himself a plate.

"Let's have dinner then"

In the morning, Ben got up early for a final training session at Cobham before leaving for Portugal.

"Please, let me know what you decide Y/N, whether you go or stay¨ Ben said, taking his things and placing them in the back of the car.

I was in my pajamas standing in the door frame leading to our garage watching his movements. It was very early, but I had to say goodbye to him and wish him good luck because, whether I was going or not, it was very likely that I would see him after the game.

"We're staying, so don't worry. The baby and I want you to stay focused." Ben came over to me and kneeled, placing his hands and forehead on my belly.

"I'm going to get that win and bring that trophy home so when you grow up I can tell you about that great day."

Pregnancy hormones and Ben's words made me cry. He stood up and looked me in the eyes.

"I know I'm going to see you in a couple of days, but I don't want to leave without saying thank you"

"Thank you for what?" I asked, confused with my voice shaking from crying.

"For making me the luckiest man alive, because you are an extraordinary woman who is doing a great job with our baby. I can't wait to have him or her in our arms."Ben placed his hands on my cheeks and put his forehead on mine, "I love you so much Y/N, thank you for being my support, I don't know what I would do without you"

"I love you too Ben, thank you for all you have done for us, and for showing us not to give up and work on our dreams, I know you are a great team and you are going to win. I don't need to wish you good luck, because that victory is already yours." I gave him a soft and deep kiss. Whenever Ben plays away I get a little touchy, even though I know he'll be back in a day or two.

We hugged one more time before he got in the car and drove away.

I walked into the house and saw the tickets on the table. Even when I had told Ben that I would stay because I didn't want to worry him and needed him to keep the promise he had made to our baby before he left. I told the Footballer a little white lie.

The next day, I got dressed in comfortable clothes, grabbed my suitcase, and called an Uber to take me to the airport.

As we took off, I remembered that I hadn't told Ben about my change of plans. After a couple of hours, we landed, everything under control and the baby still in my belly. It was a safe and quiet flight and I slept through it. On the way to the hotel, I was thinking about how to communicate to Ben that I was not in London but Porto.

After checking into the hotel and settling into my room, I sent a message to Ben.

Y/N Babe, I need to tell u smth

He replied almost immediately.

Benjamin Please don't tell me the baby is born

I laughed at his worries.

Y/N Nop, baby still on my belly

Benjamin Phew! then what's it?

Y/N You won't believe me, but we're here

Benjamin Here? where? He didn't understand

Y/N Porto.

I replied straight to the point.

It's been 5 minutes since I told him I was in Portugal and he still doesn't answer my message. I don't know whether to worry. Maybe he got annoyed. A couple of minutes later my cell phone showed an incoming call from Ben, and as soon as I answered I heard his voice.

"It was that a joke y/n? because if it was..." I interrupted him.

"It wasn't a joke Ben, I'm here in Portugal. I'm at the hotel"

"Oh my god! you're such a liar, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I changed my mind at the last minute, everything went so fast that I forgot to tell you."

"I can't believe you did it... "

"Are you mad at me?" I asked out of the blue. I couldn't deal with the feeling of guilt for not telling him.

"What! no, I'm not mad. I'm actually glad you're here."

We kept talking for a little longer until we had to end the call because of his pre-match duties.

It's Saturday morning, game day. I sent a text to Ben wishing him good luck and that I would see him later to celebrate. Later I was already in the stands waiting for the game to start. The opening ceremony gave me goosebumps. It was unbelievable. I was glad I was at the game and didn't miss this special day; because I couldn't have lived knowing how everyone was talking about this special day and I didn't get to see it.

The teams took to the field and lined up in front of the sideline for the anthem once again. I noticed that Chelsea's number 21 was discreetly looking for me. When he found me, he signaled to let me know he had seen me. The signal was to run his hand through his hair, so the fans wouldn't go looking for the person he had waved at. Which made it a special moment between us.

The stadium erupted in cheers and celebrations when Kai scored the goal that gave us the lead. I screamed and celebrated as I had never done before. We were winning. A few minutes before the end of the first half, I felt a liquid running down my legs, had I peed?

In the bathroom, while wiping myself, I realized that it wasn't pee, but that my water had broken. I tried to stay calm and not panic; there was still halftime left to play. I took a deep breath, adjusted my dress, and went back to the stands.

The referee added 7 minutes. My nerves were clutching my stomach, plus the baby was also nervous because I could feel it moving. When the ref blew the final whistle I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding, it was the longest 7 minutes of my life.

Everyone in the stands was celebrating, the boys and Ben were hugging each other. They couldn't believe it. I was so happy celebrating and watching the awards that for a moment I forgot my water had broken. It was a little pain that reminded me that the baby could be born at any moment.

When they allowed the families to enter the field, Ben came for me. The huge smile on his face and the medal around his neck made me emotional. As soon as he was near we hugged and both burst into tears. I was so proud of him, I still couldn't believe he was Champion of Europe.

"You did it!" I told him wiping the tears that were running down his cheeks "I told you you would be a champion, I am so proud of you".

"I still can't believe it, I'm over the moon," he smiled and kissed my temple "Thank you! Thank you for coming and being here with me"

"I couldn't miss this day for anything in the world"

"I'm glad you didn't miss it"

We continued celebrating until the guys went back to the locker room to get ready for the celebration party.

We had just arrived at the place when I started to feel stronger pains. I didn't want Ben to miss the party, so I tried to mask them with the breathing exercises I had been taught in my prenatal classes. But I couldn't take it anymore and doubled over in pain.

"Babe, you okay?" Ben asked, kneeling next to me. I shook my head.

"I think the baby is coming," I said, inhaling and exhaling. "at halftime my water broke".

"What? Why didn't you tell me before?" his voice sounded worried.

"Because... at that moment... it didn't hurt." my voice cracked in pain.

"We have to go to a hospital" he took out his cellphone and asked for an Uber to the nearest hospital.

When we arrived, the nurses attended to me quickly and took me to a room. They asked me a couple of questions, luckily they spoke English. Ben filled out the paperwork for my admission, while we waited for the doctor. As soon as he came in and checked me over and said.

"This baby is ready" what! but it was still a couple of weeks before I was due. "Get things ready for delivery and call the pediatrician."

All the nurses started moving quickly and I started to freak out.

"Calm down," Ben said, taking my hand and kissing me "It's going to be okay, I'm with you."

"Okay," the doctor said, "on my signal, you're going to push as hard as you can, okay?", I nodded.

"You can do it, sweetie, now it's your turn to bring our trophy into the world."

"Now!" the doctor said.

After pushing three or four times, I heard our baby cry.

"Congratulations! It's a boy," the doctor said. "Do you want to cut the umbilical cord?" he asked, looking at Ben, and Ben nodded. A nurse handed Ben a pair of scissors. Watching him cut the cord was the most beautiful moment.

As soon as it was cleaned up, they took the baby away to check that he was healthy and strong because he had been born a couple of weeks earlier. strong because he had been born a couple of weeks before.

"You did great Y/N," Ben said, kissing my lips "he is going to be fine".

Ben texted our family and the lads at Chelsea to let them know that everything had gone well and that the baby was healthy.

A couple of hours later a nurse came in with our little boy in her arms and handed him to me.

I couldn't believe that this little human being had come out of me.

"Look at him, he is as handsome as his daddy," said Ben next to me, I let out a little laugh.

"I know, he's going to be a little heartbreaker."

"I don't know which one of you two I should thank, but you have certainly made this day unforgettable" Ben's eyes were covered with a couple of tears, he was over the moon, "I'm a double champion, I won a title and a baby".

"Who knew you were going to come home with a trophy and a baby," I laughed.

Our baby was still very small but I did not doubt that he was a clone of Ben.

Since everything was under control and he was a healthy baby, the next day they let us go. So our little guy came out dressed in a Chelsea onesie that the team sent us, plus other essentials for Ben and I that we didn't have because it was all unexpected. They also sent us the baby seat so we could take him home.

We didn't know if taking a newborn on a plane was a good idea, but we couldn't stay longer in Portugal. Luckily, the doctor said there was no problem, as our baby was healthy and could handle a couple of hours on the plane. At the hospital they helped us with the paperwork so we didn't have any problems when we arrived in London.

I was glad we were going back to London with the rest of the team because then Ben could still celebrate with them. The kids and families watching us were excited, all wanting to meet little Ben.

"Congratulations, Dad," Mason said as soon as he saw his teammate.

"Thanks, buddy," they hugged. "Would you like to be his godfather?"

Mason smiled and said.

"No need to ask."

When we found out I was pregnant, we spent more time wondering who was going to be our baby's godfather rather than thinking about names. We both agreed it would be Mason since he was a close friend of both of ours.

As soon as we landed we went straight home. We wanted to rest and assimilate everything that had happened over the weekend. I was glad that our baby was born early because Ben was able to be present at the birth and enjoy our boy for a couple of days before he left for his international duties.

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

tree!! i was forced to watch the new mahesh babu movie yesterday and i desperately need to make fun of it- it wasn’t like god awful but the title song was... interesting (go watch it if you want to laugh at the bezos reference lmao)

also saw that you watched rrr and i’m glad that desiblr is making all of the gay memes (its what ram and bheem would’ve wanted) <3

side note i got my prom dress the other day and it’s yellow (i have a brand here dammit) and has flowers and after a slight gender crisis- i’m pretty hyped!

importantly: how are you?? what shenanigans have you been up to? give me all the small talk <3

ilysm you funky lil dude *gives you a bear hug*

mWah! mwah!

- indi <3

LMAO ive heard so many bad things about it i want to watch it soo badly!! i will listen to the title song first thing tomorrow morning sjkdfhksjdfh i did NOT know there was a fuckin BEZOS reference........................ losing my mind

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ikr im literally. so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so glad all of desiblr took a look at those gay ass men and side-eyed each other like. YES that man is fruity yes YES he is out 😏 i have so many thoughts about themm

omg prom!!!!! im so excited for you and 🙈 we are the same person bc i TOO bought a yellow flowered dress this weekend!! 😳 its probably a lot more casual than yours though lmao, its a spring cottagey dress, not prom dress level but still!!! im wearing it for a party on saturday so if YOU wear YOURS saturday we will be twinsies 🥰 it'll be like we are going to prom together<3

im awesome! story: flashback to elementary school, i was best friends with this girl and we would have killed and fought wars for each other. i loved her so much and literally could not imagine being without her but then! she moved! and after two years spent trying to find some way to contact her, i moved too! and i lost all hope. flash forward to the beginning of this year, one of my friends will not shut up about this girl she met at tae kwon do - she's cool and hot and kind and she reminds her a lot of me!! two days ago, i saw a picture of her for the first time, and something lit up in my brain, but i shelved it as oh i probably know her dad. took a selfie with my friend, who sends it to her buddy and! she says OMG WAIT DID TREE GO TO [insert my elementary school here]?? AND THEN ALL THE MEMORIES HIT ME. it was her!!!!!!! and i was so excited i went nonverbal, stole my friends phone, and texted her in a frenzy and she was like I MISSED YOU SO MUCH and i started crying! in a good way!! and then i came out to her bc she asked me how ive been and i said gay and trans and then she said "slay 🔥" she's coming to our friend's birthday party and i can't wait to tackle her as soon as i see her

also i've been eating so many laddus that chotta bheem is jealous 😭 it was my sister's half-sari function 12 days ago and we have so much food left over and its so awesome i am stuffing myself

plus, my partner has been learning gaelic (bc theyre irish) and referring to me with gaelic terms of endearment and IVE been referring to THEM with telugu terms of endearment and let me just say it is heartmelting every time?? feeling #loved

and last but not least, i have been on a mission to leave my mark on my school and have been vandalizing doing so by drawing little trees in sharpie everywhere!! i will most likely forget soon but nevertheless those walls will remember me

MWAH MWAH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH INDI<33333 *drowns in your hug bc i am short and itty bitty*

[ming-yu-hao]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 3

Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader

Word Count: 6k

Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.

This Chapter’s Tags: angst, protected sex, finger sucking, grinding, light choking/spanking/dirty talk, mingyu just being an ass man, riding, cheating obviously

Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!

A/N: Y’ALLLLL I’m sorry this took me forever to upload... I just got super busy but there won’t be as long as a wait for the next chapter! As always feedback is appreciated and I hope you guys like this :)

Chapters: Previous | Next | Masterlist

Your knees quivered beneath you as you pulled the soft fabric of your leggings up your thighs and over your hips. You bent down to pick up your shirt that was still balled up on the floor, and when you stood again you could hear the bed rustle behind you as Mingyu shifted his weight.

Guilt didn't hit you until you slipped your shirt back over your head, fully dressing yourself once again.

What had you done?

Without looking at him, you spoke: "I think I should go now."

He was silent.

You stepped over to the door, your hand about to twist the knob when he finally called out to you.

"Y/N."

You looked at him. He was sitting up on his bed; his dark hair was a mess, hanging over his forehead. His lips were parted like he didn't know what to say.

"Um, don't forget your jacket. It's cold outside." He pointed to your jacket that was still discarded on the floor.

"Oh, thanks," you said with your voice wavering. You quickly picked up the jacket and headed for the door again.

"Text me when you get home, okay?" Mingyu rushed to say. The corners of his mouth quirked up into a thin, awkward smile and you nodded your head in response.

Why did he suddenly care? He used to just be some guy you sat next to in class. When did he want to become your friend? When did he start to become protective over you? Was this all really just because of his half-drunken encounter with you at that party? Did the moment you two shared that night cause him to feel some kind of attachment to you? Thinking about it all made your head spin. Nothing made sense to you anymore.

You turned the knob and cracked open the door when Mingyu spoke again.

"Um, also... you know, if you ever need anything... I'm here for you." His voice shook a bit.

You exhaled. "Thank you."

You slipped out of his room before he could say anything else and stepped down the stairs quietly, attempting to dart out the front door before anyone could see you. There was a small group of people hanging out in the living room like Mingyu had said, their laughter and conversations loud and echoing through the house.

When you reached the bottom of the stairs, you kept your gaze down at your feet while you scanned the floor for your shoes.

"Y/N?" You heard a voice call from behind you.

You huffed out a quiet breath in frustration before turning around with an overly sweet smile on your face. Your eyes landed on Seungcheol.

"Oh, hey! It's weird not seeing Jisoo following you around." You joked.

Seungcheol smiled sheepishly. "Yeah..." He trailed off, looking down at the ground.

"Are you guys dating?" You probed with a raised eyebrow.

"I wanted to talk to you about that, actually." He admitted, making eye contact with you. Curiosity plagued you, and you stared at him expectantly as you waited for him to speak. "I wanna do something special for her when I ask her out... just cause, I don't know, I really like her." He stammered nervously, lowering his voice so no one could eavesdrop.

You gave him a genuine smile. You were happy that Jisoo had found someone that truly liked her. Ever since the beginning of the semester, she had been cycling through an array of terrible guys that used and ghosted her. Seungcheol seemed like a genuinely good person; you trusted him to take care of her.

You brought your hand to your chin as you pondered for a moment. "Well, if I'm being honest, she's, like, a huge hopeless romantic. Loves cheesy romance movies and stuff." You started, "If you took her out to a nice dinner and walked around some really pretty, romantic place after, that'd be her dream come true."

Seungcheol nodded, his eyes glazed over in deep thought as he acknowledged your advice. "Yeah, that sounds like her." He smiled. "Thanks."

You nodded. "So... how did the raffle go?"

"It went really good, actually." He responded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "The money's going to a child psychology organization. I've been doing research with them for a few months now."

Your eyes lit up in interest at his story. "That's really cool. Have you discovered any groundbreaking research yet?" You half-joked.

He chuckled, "I guess a little bit."

A lightbulb suddenly went off in your brain. "Hey, do you think I could interview you about all this research stuff you've done? I need to write an article for class."

Seungcheol shrugged. "Sure."

You spent the next few minutes probing him about how he got involved in the program, what he had been researching, his motivation to study child psychology—all while taking down notes on your phone. He explained to you how he had struggled with anxiety his whole life and wanted to find a way to help others. In the back of your mind, this was all affirming why he was such a good match for Jisoo. He was caring, passionate, charitable. Your heart warmed at the thought of Jisoo finally settling down with someone who was actually a good person.

Your interview came to an end and you thanked Seungcheol for helping you out. He nodded before glancing down at the jacket you were carrying in your arms.

"Were you planning on leaving?" He asked.

"Yeah, I need to go work on homework and stuff." You answered.

He attempted to suppress his smirk by biting his lip. "You and Mingyu didn't get much work done together?" He raised his eyebrows at you.

You felt your heart drop into your stomach. "What?"

"Relax, I'm just kidding." Seungcheol laughed. "He just seemed comfortable with you earlier, you know?"

The tension in your stomach loosened a little as you realized that he didn't actually know what happened between you two. This is exactly what Mingyu was worried about earlier. So it was true that Seungcheol liked to play matchmaker and get involved in everyone else's relationships.

"There's nothing going on between you guys?" Seungcheol questioned after you didn't respond.

You felt your cheeks grow hot with irritation. "No. I have a boyfriend." You said curtly.

Seungcheol's mouth formed an O-shape at the sudden coldness in your tone. "I-I'm sorry, I was just kidding." He quickly apologized.

"It's okay." You sighed. You glanced around for your shoes, avoiding his regretful gaze.

"Well, I really have to get going. Thanks for helping me out." You said as you slipped on your shoes.

He smiled apologetically and walked you over to the door. "See you, Y/N!" He called behind you as you stepped out into the cold.

You buried yourself in work for the next two days. You figured it was easier to just get lost in the flow of doing assignment after assignment rather than to think about what happened.

But no matter what you did, your mind still wandered back to that moment—when your lips finally met Mingyu's, and his body pressed against yours.

The worst part was that you didn't even try to stop him: you had agreed to it, and God, you even thanked him for it! You weren't even sure if you could regret what happened. You hated yourself for betraying Wonwoo's trust, but at the same time you craved attention and affection. Mingyu just happened to be the one that fulfilled your wishes after all this time.

You would never tell Mingyu that, of course. Honestly, you were unsure if you could even face him about it. He could tell that you felt guilty afterwards. If you just finished this stupid project and avoided him for the rest of the semester, he would probably get the hint and leave you alone.

It was Saturday evening when you typed the last words of your article on Seungcheol and his research. You hadn't talked to Mingyu since you left his room on Thursday night, but you needed him to complete his share of the work. Sighing, you picked up your phone and pulled up your messages with him. You quickly explained what kind of pictures he needed to take and told him to send them to you (so you could avoid seeing him anymore than you needed to).

You clicked out of your conversation, and that's when your eyes landed on the messages that were still unread by Wonwoo. You wanted to ask him what he was doing, but after three days with no response, it felt pathetic to even attempt to strike up a conversation now.

The sound of the door knob jiggling startled you before Jisoo busted into the room a moment later.

"Y/N!" She cheered in a sing-song voice. "We have another party to go to tonight!"

You already knew exactly where this party was going to be, and you felt your stomach drop at the thought of running into Mingyu.

You shook your head. "No way, Jisoo. I'm way too busy." You lied.

She pouted her lips at you. "Really? You've been working nonstop. How're you still not done?"

You shrugged and let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Well, you can take a break for a few hours. I promise I won't leave you this time. You can hangout with me and Cheol." She begged, looking at you with wide, saddened eyes.

Your phone vibrated between your hands, and when you glanced down you saw Mingyu's name on the screen.

Mingyu: I'm actually gonna be out studying and working on some stuff with a friend tonight. I promise I'll get the pics for you tomorrow :) Sent at 7:37 PM

You thought it was a little weird for a guy like Mingyu to be studying on a Saturday night, but when you realized that he wouldn't be at the party, relief flooded over you.

You looked up at Jisoo and saw her still expectantly staring at you, waiting for your response.

"I- I guess I could go for a bit."

"YES!" Seungkwan shrieked as he successfully landed another ball in one of Jisoo's cups. He turned to you and wildly smacked your palm in a high five, nearly hitting you in the face. Your stomach was starting to hurt from laughing for the past ten minutes over the intense match of beer pong in front of you.

The crowd around the table reacted loudly, some cheering and some booing as Jisoo downed another cup of alcohol. She shivered at the taste and Seungcheol came up from behind to pat her on the back. His lips moved as he said something to her, but with music blasting through the house so loud, you couldn't make out a single word.

Your phone vibrated in your back pocket. Without much thought, you pulled it out and quickly glanced at the screen.

Your heart sank into your stomach as you realized: Wonwoo was calling.

"Fuck," you muttered under your breath. You had completely forgotten that Saturday's were now reserved for your FaceTime dates.

You looked up at everyone with wide eyes, but they were too immersed in the game to notice your reaction. You pushed your way through the crowd and slipped into the bathroom before Jisoo or anyone else could come looking for you.

By the time you reached the bathroom and locked the door, the FaceTime call had already stopped ringing. Leaning against the door, you scrolled through your contacts and called back, but only as a phone call.

Wonwoo answered after two rings.

"Hey, everything alright?" He asked.

You swallowed. "Uh... yeah."

"Why didn't you FaceTime?" He continued. You hesitated, but then he spoke before you could say anything. "Why is it so loud? Where are you?"

You cursed yourself for not running away to a room that was farther away from all the music and noise outside the door. Fidgeting with your fingers, you answered: "A party."

"Oookay," he scoffed. "You could've at least let me know if you were gonna go out. But it's fine. Have fun, I guess." He responded coldly.

Your brows furrowed together instinctively. Now it was your turn to scoff at him. "You're not serious, are you?" The skin of your face grew warmer. Wonwoo was quiet. "I forgot. Sorry." You admitted through grit teeth.

"Why're you so mad?" He questioned in a defensive tone.

You rolled your eyes. "This is the first time I've ever cancelled on you and it was an accident. Do I need to remind you of all the times you ditched me?"

Wonwoo didn't respond.

"And what the fuck have you been doing the past three days that you couldn't respond to me?" You spat. Blood was rushing through your veins quickly now as anger took over.

He sighed through the receiver. "I was busy."

"Does it really take that much time to send a text to your fucking girlfriend?" Your voice began to rise. "How do you expect this to work if you don't even talk to me?"

"I'm sor-" He began to speak, but you interrupted him.

"You know, sometimes it feels like I'm dating nobody!" You cried. "Do you even realize how lonely I feel?" Your voice shook with each word as your throat grew tighter; tears welled up in your eyes. You didn't want to cry, but all the frustration you had bottled up the past couple months was finally spilling over.

In a calm voice, all Wonwoo said was: "I'm trying."

"Not hard enough." You scoffed.

"What the fuck, Y/N? Where is this coming from?" He cried. The sudden rise in his voice startled you a bit.

The phone shook in your grasp. "You act like I don't even exist! How can you call that trying?"

"Fuck, I'm not dealing with this right now. Go back to your stupid fucking party." He snapped.

"Yeah, just go and ignore me again!" You laughed sardonically.

The three tones of the call ending sounded abruptly. You looked down at your phone in shock. He had hung up on you.

Your hands balled into fists as you threw your head back against the door. Your jaw was tense, but your bottom lip still quivered.

He had done it again. It seemed it was becoming easy for him at this point—abandoning you when you needed him.

This wasn't going to last much longer if the two of you couldn't figure this out.

When you pressed your lips into a thin line, tears slipped down, staining the bags under your eyes with makeup.

Was he giving up on you?

Your head began to pound. You couldn't stand being in this hot bathroom any longer, much less this party in general. You wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand and turned to unlock the door.

As you took a step out of the bathroom, you kept your gaze locked on your feet; you didn't want anyone to notice the state you were currently in.

Not even a moment after opening the door, you collided with a tall, warm body.

"Sorry," you mumbled, pushing past.

"Y/N?" A familiar voice called. Strong hands grasped your forearm, and you glanced up at the figure.

Mingyu.

What force was bringing you back to him once again?

His lips parted in a small gasp as he noticed the redness in your tearful eyes. "Hey, what's wrong? Come here."

Before you could protest, he guided you back into the bathroom, closing and locking the door so no one could bother you two.

You kept your eyes down at the ground, unable to look at him. As he approached you, the heat of his skin radiated against you.

"I thought you were out studying." You spoke, breaking the silence.

Mingyu's hands found your jaw. He ran the smooth skin of his thumbs over your cheeks, wiping the tears that remained. "I finished early," he explained.

"Look at me," Mingyu whispered. You swallowed and blinked before meeting his eyes.

You didn't notice the thin, black-rimmed glasses that were resting on his nose before. His dark hair was pushed back, and his tan skin glowed under the bathroom light. You hated how instinctively drawn you felt to his presence.

You started to think that Kim Mingyu might be the Devil, disguised in the form of a beautiful boy that always knew the right words to say. He was here to tempt you, to swindle you at your most vulnerable moments, to test your fidelity. And you were weak enough to cave in.

"Is it your boyfriend?" He asked.

The gaze he held on you was so intense that you found yourself staring at the frames of his glasses instead of his eyes. You nodded silently in response to his question.

"Talk to me. What happened?" Mingyu cooed as he stroked your cheeks with his thumbs.

"I-" You started, but let out a sigh instead. "We just fought. I don't know. I don't wanna talk about it." You rambled.

"Okay," he nodded. "Sorry if I pushed it." He removed his hands from your face. The skin suddenly felt cold without his touch.

He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. "We can talk about something else."

You stood still, nodding, but couldn't think of anything to say.

"You know," Mingyu started, "You look really pretty. Even when you're crying." Your skin flushed at the compliment.

Rolling your eyes playfully, you wiped the last remnants of makeup off your cheeks. "Is that your go-to line for every girl?" You joked.

"No," he replied. "Just cause I'm in a frat doesn't mean I'm a douche."

You snickered under your breath. "Yeah, but there's gotta be so many girls that hit on you."

"There's some," he shrugged. "Doesn't mean I flirt back."

Your legs were beginning to grow tired from standing, so you walked over to the counter and sat on the edge. You gripped the ledge to keep your balance, swinging your legs back and forth.

Mingyu stood in his same spot, but turned in your direction. He quirked his eyebrows at you. "Are you suggesting that I'm attractive enough to have hundreds of girls swooning over me?" He shot you a teasing grin.

You chuckled and shook your head. "You wish."

Mingyu's jaw dropped in a fake expression of shock as he came closer to you, but he stood to the side to stare at himself in the mirror. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Since when do you wear glasses?" You inquired.

"Since forever." He replied.

Mingyu placed his hands on the edge of the counter, pushing his weight onto them. The muscles in his arms were prominent through his black shirt. Your eyes dragged across his figure, eventually landing on his face again.

"I like them. They look good." You said.

He glanced at you, his eyes laced with hints of suspicion. "Thanks," he said with his voice a little uneven. He cleared his throat and stood up straight. "Did I help get your mind off him a bit?"

You winced at the mention of Wonwoo, but nodded. "Yeah, you did. Thank you." You exhaled.

Mingyu smiled to himself and his eyes met yours once again. "Good. I feel like it's the least I can do to help."

As you stared at him, you admired his features—his soft, clear complexion and plump lips. You suddenly became aware of how close he was to you; his hand was resting only a few inches away from your thigh. Your mind thought back to how it felt when those hands caressed the bare skin of your body. Impulsively, your thighs pressed together at the revisitation of the memory.

The room felt like it had instantly shot up ten degrees, and the heat left your judgement clouded like a foggy mirror. If Mingyu really was the Devil, his plan was working.

You leaned towards him until your face was only a few inches from his. Your breath caught in your throat as you went to speak.

"I really wanna kiss you right now." You admitted quickly, your eyes focused on his lips.

Mingyu backed away. "Are you drunk?" He asked. His eyes were wide with concern as he scanned you.

You remained where you were, embarrassment creeping up on you as you rapidly shook your head. "I haven't drank anything."

Mingyu chewed on his bottom lip. "I- I don't think it's a good idea. After last time..." he trailed off, glancing up to peek at your reaction. "I don't want you to do something you'll regret again."

"I don't regret it." You blurted before you could stop yourself.

You weren't sure what you were doing or where you wanted to go with this, but you couldn't stop. A feeling of lust had possessed you at this point, controlling your every word and action.

Mingyu looked taken aback at your confession, standing up straighter. His lips were parted in uncertainty, but you watched as his eyes flicked down to look at your lips.

"You don't?" He asked, inching closer to you.

Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest now. You quickly shook your head. "No."

His right hand found a place to rest under your chin, tilting your head up to look at him as his face neared yours. He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip.

"Are you sure?" He whispered.

Desire had overcome you so strongly at this point that you couldn't bring yourself to answer him through words. Instead, you crashed your lips onto his.

Mingyu responded eagerly, his kisses fueled with the same amount of force. Your hands quickly found purchase on the nape of his neck, pulling his body closer to yours. Right as you spread your legs to allow him to stand in between them, Mingyu's tongue darted against your lips, slipping into your mouth when you parted your lips for him.

He placed his left hand on your inner thigh, roughly squeezing the flesh between his fingers as he deepened the kiss. You moaned into his mouth, and he dragged his other hand down to the small of your back to pull you closer to him.

Now your core was pressed against his. Mingyu removed his lips from yours, only to place open-mouthed kisses on the area below your ear. You jerked your hips up as he nibbled lightly on the skin, the friction between your thighs growing.

Your jaw hung open as your arousal increased with each moment; your breathing became heavy while you panted into his ear. He sucked on your collarbone, and a chill shot it's way up your spine. You whimpered loudly and you could feel Mingyu smirk against your skin.

"You sound so pretty," he mumbled, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke. He lifted his head, his tongue poking out of his cheek while he observed you. Your head was thrown back, eyes half shut, and you were ever so slightly grinding your hips against his for the smallest bit of relief.

Mingyu brought his fingers up to your lips, tapping on the soft skin to catch your attention. "Suck," he said, watching as you obediently parted your lips for him. He shoved two of his fingers into your mouth and pressed them down against your tongue. You could feel wetness building up between your legs. Even though it wasn't anything extreme, Wonwoo never did stuff like this with you in bed. You had to admit, all the new things that Mingyu was introducing to you excited you.

You hummed against him as he stuffed your mouth, almost gagging when his fingers neared the back of your throat. You swirled your tongue around his digits before he quickly pulled them away. You opened your eyes, staring at him in confusion, but his hungry gaze was already locked in on your core. He fumbled with the button of your jeans, and you felt your arousal suddenly spike at the thought of his fingers inside you.

You helped him shuffle your jeans over your ass and down to your knees. He bit his lip as he stared at your clothed heat, his cock stiffening beneath his own jeans, and pressed his dampened fingers to your clit through the fabric of your underwear.

You gasped quietly at the contact, but it wasn't enough. "Mmh, Mingyu," you whined. "Please."

"So needy," he teased with a smirk on his lips. He slipped his fingers beneath the fabric, pressing into your slick folds. His breathing grew heavier. "How're you so wet? I barely even touched you." He breathed against your cheek before he pressed a soft kiss to it. You blushed at his teasing words.

Mingyu rubbed your clit in slow circles, spreading your arousal around your folds. He pressed his lips to yours again, swallowing the moans you were letting out. He dragged his fingers down your heat, teasing your entrance by avoiding it. You clenched around nothing.

"Mingyu, I need you," you muttered against his lips.

"My fingers?" He questioned teasingly, pushing the tips of his digits into your core.

Desire was eating away at you, clouding your thoughts and replacing them with lust-filled ones. You bucked your hips up into his hand, whimpering beneath him.

"No, I want... you." You panted, looking up at him. Embarrassment picked away at you due to your vague request. His eyes appeared even darker than usual as he stared down at you with lust, registering what you were asking for.

Just as he was about to speak, the door knob shook, followed by loud pounding on the door. You jumped, and Mingyu quickly pulled his fingers away from your heat, leaving you with nothing.

"Open up!" A voice called from outside the door. "I have to piss!"

Oh, how wonderful.

You looked to Mingyu with wide eyes, and he motioned for you to stand up. "Pull your pants up!" He shouted at you in a whisper as he wiped his hands on his jeans. He stepped away from the counter, pressing his lips together in frustration as he realized the tent in his pants was painfully obvious.

You pushed yourself off the counter, standing up with shaky legs as you quickly pulled your pants over your hips and re-buttoned them.

The door knob jiggled again. "I'm literally gonna piss myself if you don't open this door in five seconds!" The same voice cried.

"What do we do?" You whispered to Mingyu.

He sighed. "Get out of here as fast as possible and go to my room." Your stomach flipped at the mention of his bedroom; you were really about to go through with this. He reached his hand out for you to grab, and you took hold of it as he led you both to the door.

Mingyu fumbled with the lock, and the door busted open a moment later, revealing a very drunken boy on the other side. He looked both of you up and down. You ducked down slightly, attempting to hide your face behind Mingyu's broad shoulders.

"Fuck, Mingyu? Really? The bathroom?" The boy said with disgust.

Mingyu rolled his eyes, his hand squeezing yours tighter. "Fuck off, Soonyoung." He replied before rushing out of the bathroom with you following close behind.

You couldn't help giggling at Mingyu's comment. He glanced over his shoulder when he noticed you laughing, a smile finding its way to his own lips as he chuckled at you. "Was I too harsh?" He joked.

Mingyu dragged you through the house quickly, and when you reached the bottom of the stairs, he pushed you in front of him to lead the way. You rushed up the steps, and when you neared the top, a sudden smack was delivered to your butt.

You let out a cry, followed by laughter of disbelief. "Mingyu!" You exclaimed with your jaw dropped once you reached the top of the stairs.

Mingyu stood behind you, his hands gripping your waist. He giggled into your ear. "I'm sorry, your ass is so cute." He placed a soft peck to your cheek.

"Let's go," he whispered, his voice suddenly an octave lower. Your stomach twisted, and Mingyu began leading you towards his room with his hands still on your hips.

He let go of you to twist the knob and push the door open, but as soon as you stepped foot into his room, his hands found your waist again and hurriedly pushed you further past the door. He kicked the door closed behind him, pushing you up against the wood. His lips quickly found yours, kissing you with even more intensity than before.

You could barely catch your breath as Mingyu gave you more rough kisses. He was being taken over by lust; he pressed himself against you, allowing you to feel the hardness in his pants. You ran one hand from his shoulder down his chest and stomach, feeling the muscles beneath his shirt tensing at your touch. Finally you palmed him through his jeans and he groaned against your mouth.

"Fuck, you're driving me crazy." He whispered before placing one more messy kiss to your lips. He pulled away to slip his fingers under the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head quickly and tossing it to the floor. His lips found your neck again, and you moaned as his tongue darted out to lick your sensitive spot. His hands were on your ass, pulling you closer to him and squeezing the soft skin.

Your head rolled back. "Shit, Mingyu," you moaned. "I need you now."

Mingyu pulled away to look down at you with a grin on his face. "Yeah?" He raised his eyebrow. He spanked your ass lightly, causing you to whimper and lean into him. "Go to the bed." He demanded, stepping away from you.

You walked to the bed, trying to swing your hips to hide the nervous wobble in your knees. You felt Mingyu come up behind you, his body pressing against yours. His stiff cock was brushing against your thigh. You turned around, sitting on the edge of the bed as you looked up at him.

"When are you gonna take this off?" You questioned while toying with the fabric of his shirt.

He chewed on his lip as he smirked at you. Without a word, he pulled it over his head, exposing his muscular arms and toned chest. Your eyes dragged hungrily over his torso, drinking in the sight of the outline of his abs.

"Better?" He teased, interrupting your admiring of his body. You looked up at his face. His glasses still rested on his nose, but his hair was slightly disheveled and his lips were now pink and swollen from kissing yours. You were breathless. He was beautiful, and you wanted him so badly.

You perked up from the position you were sitting in, a surge of confidence driven by desire guiding you. "Lie down," you commanded. Mingyu looked taken aback for a moment as he processed your sudden dominance, but he just chuckled and laid down without protest.

Once his back was against the mattress and he was splayed out beneath you, you crawled up towards him, straddling his hips. You dragged your hands down his chest, admiring the softness and warmth of his skin while you began to grind against him.

Mingyu threw his head back as he moaned softly, and you felt yourself clench at the sound. You leaned down, pressing your chest to his as you left kisses on his neck. His hips bucked up into your center. The friction between your bodies was so intense it was driving you insane.

You felt his fingers drag across your spine, causing goosebumps to from across your skin. He fumbled with the clasp of your bra and pulled the straps down your arms. You sat up to fully pull it off and throw it somewhere in the room, and Mingyu quickly brought his hands to your breasts. He squeezed the sensitive buds, twisting your nipples between his fingers. You moaned and pressed your hips into his even harder.

"Ride me," Mingyu mumbled into your ear. Unable to form any words, you nodded, reaching for the button of his jeans.

You lifted yourself off him to help him unzip his pants, and once he started pulling them off you kneeled to the side to discard your own jeans. Just as you began pulling your underwear down your thighs, Mingyu reached for the nightstand next to his bed, shuffling around in the drawer and eventually pulling out a condom.

He pulled his cock out of his boxers, and it stood stiffly against his stomach. He quickly ripped open the package, sliding the latex over his shaft. You straddled his thighs again, about to sink yourself onto him when he quickly grabbed your hips.

"No, no." He said. "Turn around."

You looked at him in confusion. "But-"

"Just trust me," he added, pressing a soft kiss to your chest.

You turned around so your back was facing him, still straddling his thighs. He kept one hand on your waist as the other reached for his cock. He guided the stiff head through your folds, wetting his cock with your arousal. When the tip brushed against your clit you whimpered as you clenched around nothing again.

"Please, Mingyu," you whined.

He dragged the head down to your entrance, finally pushing into you. Both of his hands rested on your hips now as he slowly sunk you down onto him.

You moaned at the slight burning sensation the stretch left behind. It had already been months since a dick was last inside you, and with Mingyu's size it was even more intense.

You aided by lowering yourself onto his cock, and once he bottomed out inside you he stayed still to let you adjust. His dick twitched inside you, and you clenched around him in response.

"You're so fucking tight," he moaned into your ear. He began nibbling and sucking at the skin between your neck and shoulder from behind you, and you whined in response.

You lifted yourself off him slowly, basking in the feeling of his cock rubbing against your walls. You sunk down fully onto him before raising your hips again, finally beginning to ride him.

Mingyu allowed you to work yourself against his length while he brought one hand to your breast again. You moaned loudly as he squeezed the flesh between his fingers and bucked his hips up into you.

"Mmmh, shit, you feel so good," you babbled before crying loudly again. Mingyu quickly brought his other hand up to your throat, lightly choking you.

"Shhh, baby." He whispered against your skin. "You can't be so loud." His words were followed by another soft slap to your ass, making you whine quietly.

He let go of your throat, bringing both of his hands to your waist once again to speed up your pace. He angled his hips so he could thrust up into you at the same time, and the angle caused him to hit your sensitive spot every time. You panted loudly as the pressure in your lower stomach grew, and you ground yourself against his cock, clenching around him.

"Shit." Mingyu choked out breathlessly. "Tight little pussy's taking me so well."

Maybe it was the filthy words that left his mouth, or the way Mingyu took hold of your hips to slow your pace and thrust into you especially hard, but you felt yourself tip over the edge, your mind cloudy as pleasure overtook you. You couldn't even tell if you were crying out loudly, but you assumed so by the way Mingyu suddenly pulled himself out of you and pushed you forward until your face was pressed into the mattress and he was kneeled behind you.

He thrusted into you roughly now, trying to reach his own high. Your eyes were rolling back into your head as your core tingled with oversensitivity, and you could feel yourself drooling onto the sheets.

He came with a particularly rough grunt, pausing his movements as his cum emptied into the condom inside you. He moaned breathlessly and he slowly pumped himself in and out of you to milk his orgasm. Finally, he pulled himself completely out, and his hand ran across your spine.

"You okay?" He asked, and you lifted yourself onto your hands and knees, nodding. Mingyu looked down at your legs, his lips dropping in a slight gasp. "Your thighs are shaking." He noted out loud.

Your face burnt with embarrassment as you kneeled back onto your knees. When you finally turned to look at Mingyu, he was tossing the condom into the trash. His hair was now pressed to his forehead with sweat and his cheeks were tinted a shade of pink. When his eyes met yours, his lips quirked up into a smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get rough with you." He apologized. He sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.

You shook your head. "N-no, it's okay," you croaked out, finally able to formulate words now that all the post-orgasm bliss was fading away.

You didn't know why, but you felt like you had to be near him. You crawled up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. It felt natural. Comfortable. It reminded you of how you felt with Wonwoo. And despite how much you enjoyed feeling Mingyu's soft lips against yours, that thought terrified you.

"Do you regret this?" He mumbled against your lips.

It scared you—the way you were able to betray Wonwoo so easily. Here you were, in bed with another boy: one that you shared inside jokes with and stole kisses from and ran to for comfort. All that you had built with Wonwoo over the past two years—were some miles apart really enough to tear everything down?

You answered honestly.

"No."

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Seventeen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Sixteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Eighteen

Marnie pov.

I don't know if it was hangover or guilt, but my head was weighing a ton the morning after the party. Unlike everyone, I didn't wake up in a good mood, in fact I was pretty quiet at breakfast. Lucky for me, no one suspected anything, as the hangover gripped everyone there.

As yesterday was still Saturday and most had to work, I didn't have to run away from anyone. Since my plan had been in action since Monday, I took the day off to start packing up some things, trying to get everything as ready as possible.

For today, I had left only the final adjustments, like packing my suitcase and getting ready for my conversation with Luke.

The pain in my throat becomes more and more unbearable every time I hold back the cry. I fold up one of the band sweatshirts I have, watching the boys' faces, wanting to reinforce why I'm doing this.

I run my finger over Luke's face, as if I'm touching him. Friday's flashes flood my mind and I scold myself for nearly screwing it up out of sheer desire. Of course I wanted it as much as he did. Feel his touch, the desire and love he manages to emanate so naturally. I don't think I've ever felt so alive and so amazing in anyone's arms as in his, but it couldn't happen.

The doorbell snaps me out of my thoughts. I hurry downstairs, thinking it's Martin with the paperwork.

“Noah?" I give my friend room to enter. "Aren't you supposed to be at that lunch?" I check my watch and check the time, 1:37 PM. “Noah?” I call him, wondering at his frown.

"I wanted to come talk to you directly so we don't have any misunderstandings and to see if that way I can understand what this should mean." he hands me a folder. I open it quickly feeling my blood pressure drop. It was the paperwork I was waiting for. "What's this about moving to New York?"

"How did this get to you?" I try to control my breathing and head into the living room, feeling the urge to sit down. I start to think of a million excuses and ways not to have this conversation since it wasn't part of my plan.

“In case you also forgot, I work at the company. I am the owner's son and above that I am your advisor, everything that happens to you must pass through me at some point. Now tell me what this story is." I don't think I've ever seen Noah this angry.

“I received a job offer and decided to accept.” I know my voice has cracked, but I pray he doesn't notice. Noah stares at me for a few seconds with a more confused and displeased expression.

“I've known you for two years. You're going to have to try harder if you want to deceive me. Marnie, you just signed a rehearsal contract here in LA. If you got a proposal, you would know from me. Does this have to do with the fact that you're weird these days? What? Did you go without saying anything to anyone? That's it?” I remain silent, feeling everything go downhill from there. Slowly, a fury starts to build inside me. “Marnie, what's going on?”

It's not just the countless times I've heard this question throughout the week. I believe it's because I'm not in control of anything right now. About me being forced to do all this, not being able to tell my friend what's going on. All of this makes the question so much bigger and deeper than it really is. And it makes the fury that's brewing inside me grow.

“My God! Nothing! It's not happening anything. What a bag!” the scream breaks my mouth, coming out louder and angrier than I expected. “I am fine! When are you going to understand this?” he doesn't seem to be frightened by my scream, just standing there with his arms crossed and expressionless.

"Maybe when you stop lying and tell me what's going on?" he makes fun of me. A cynical laugh comes out of me as I go to open the door and ask him to leave my apartment. “You weren't like that, Marnie." I get irritated again. I can't explain where so much anger comes from, let alone contain it.

“Surprise, Noah, I'm like that. This is Marnie and always has been. Now if you don't like her, I can't do anything. Your ‘Marnie’ is gone and it's just me. And I'm going to New York whether you like it or not.” along with the anger, I feel like crying, but once again, I hold back with all my strength.

Noah nodded thoughtfully. I know it's a scene, that he's going to attack me again, he's just choosing his words.

“Then that's it? You mess it up, make everyone believe that everything is fine, and leave without warning. Is that what you're going to do?” the judgmental look bothers me.

"I didn't mess anything up."

“No?” he laughs falsely. "I don't say for myself or for the girls, but haven't you been giving a certain someone hope, making him believe you could get back together? And now you're going to go away and let him suffer without caring?” he raises his eyebrows.

I suck in the air harder, making it burn. The fire burns stronger inside me. The desire at the moment is to break everything.

“Do not do it.” my voice breaks. I close my eyes, pulling myself together. “Do not do it! Don't think I'm not suffering from having to make this decision either.” I can't hold back the tears, not caring about them anymore either.

“You're? Cuz it doesn't look like.” I close my hands, squeezing them tightly. I try to control the urge to scream, scream in hate, in anger, in pain and most of all, scream that he is being unfair to me.

“Of course I'm suffering.” once again I scream. "Do you think not?! Look at me! Do you think it doesn't hurt me to have to do all this?! Leave him here like this and not be able to do anything?! Of course it hurts. Why do you think I'm doing all this?! Because I love him! I love more than one day I thought it was possible to love someone. I'm doing it for him. But there's no easy way to do this, I don't have a choice.”

“Everyone has a choice, Marnie, you're just choosing the one you find easiest.”

"Does this sound easy to you?" I interrupt him, opening my arms, showing me. I dry my tears exhausted. “I made my choice and I appreciate if you respect. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish packing my bags.” I open the door for him.

My friend doesn't say anything else, just heads towards the door.

“Feel free to share my plan with the others.” I say tough.

“No! I will not do that. You made your decision, you did the shit and now deal with it.” Noah doesn't even wait for the elevator, taking the stairs.

I slam the door, feeling that anger still burn inside me. I rest my eyes on the wall where my photo is. I go to it, pulling out the wallpaper, tearing off part of the image. I'm not mad at Noah, I'm mad at myself, at the way it all went and where I went.

If I weren't a model, I could be living my life without any problems. Luke would still be the guy in the band I only knew one song about. I would be happy and free from all that pressure.

Still needing to release that anger, I grabbed the flower pots near the door, throwing what was left of my image against. My throat hurts from sobs and my heart clenches when that feeling arises.

““Wait, there's an eyelash.” I say to Luke, trying to catch it. “OK! Make a wish.” I lift my little finger at him.

He was about to take the stage at the Capital Summertime Ball. Luke stares at my finger thoughtfully and smiles, apparently determined.

“Be my girlfriend?” he sounds curious. I stare at his amused face, making sure he's kidding me.

“I'm serious.” I push his shoulder with another hand. I gasp when I see Luke kneel down with the guitar.

“Me too.” he shrugs. I start to laugh nervously, covering my face but careful not to lose my eyelash. I can hear the muffled laughter of the boys beside us, just wanting to hit each one of them.

“You need to blow to see if your wish comes true.” I say, already knowing my answer and I suspect he does too. Luke stands up blowing his flying eyelash.

"Boys, it's you, come in." a production guy yells, already pushing Ashton onto the stage, who is followed by Calum.

Quickly, I grab Luke's face, like I always did before he took the stage.

“Yes!” I give him a peck, watching him smile. Luke hugs me, stealing another kiss, running up onto the stage happily.

“This was definitely the cutest, most improvised request I've ever seen.” I open an even bigger smile, hearing Ryan beside me. I lay my head on his shoulder, swallowing the happy cry I wanted to let out.””

I don't know how long I sat staring at my torn photo, with a horrible pain in my chest. I hug my knees like the coward I am, not wanting to accept that the time has come.

Luke pov.

I jot down one more note in the melody I'm creating. The idea came up in the morning and if I didn't work on it now, I would forget. I go back to playing the piano following the sequence, when the bell interrupts me.

Petunia doesn't even make an effort to get up, remaining on the couch, snoring.

I open the door feeling my heart race. Marnie was standing there with a serious expression. I conclude that she came to tell me what was going on and I am relieved that I will finally understand what is happening.

“Can we talk?" I'm surprised by the hard look.

I make room for her, who goes straight to the living room, standing in the middle. I let a weak smile emerge, remembering all the times she's done this. I stop a little away, giving space, because I know how important this is to her at these times.

"I believe you came to tell me what's going on." I keep my hands in my pants pockets. M&Ms nodded.

"I came to break whatever we have." I don't know how to react. In fact, I'm not sure I got it right. “Look I tried, I really tried, but…”

“I'm sorry, what?”

For a second, I wonder how I got back to two years ago, where we had these fights almost daily. Where we were too dumb to want to accept. If it weren't for the pink hair, I would be convinced that it would be 2018 again.

“I tried to feel something for you, but I couldn't. And there's nothing I can do.”

I stare at Marnie, confused. I replay the past few weeks in my mind, all our moments together, and I can't believe a single word she says. I know everything was real. Every smile and laugh, every flushed cheek, every look and especially every kiss. Come back to Friday. How can she say there was nothing there?

“You gotta be kidding me. After all we've been through this month, do you have the courage to try to say you didn't feel anything?” my tone rises.

It doesn't make any sense. Her speech, her request not to forget that she likes me and today this? The pieces don't come together.

“Sorry. But I can't go on with this anymore.” I can see your gaze looking around the room. She's lying, why is she lying? For me on top.

“Why are you doing this?” Marnie looks at me confused.

"Because I'm tired of carrying this…”

“No! Why are you lying to me?” her eyes roll. I get close enough to be able to hear and notice her breathing.

"I have no reason to lie to you. If you can't accept that a girl doesn't like you, that's your business.” she passes me at the mention of leaving. But I hold your arm.

"So Friday was my hallucination? The two of us in the bedroom. You on my lap. All that desire and lust, was it a dream of mine?” your pupils dilate.

I can see she's thinking right now, can feel her pulse increase. She felt something, all this time, she felt something. I don't know if it's that insecurity from the beginning, the fear of getting involved, of getting hurt that always kept her away from me. The fear that I would be like him.

“I drank a lot.” her voice breaks the silence. I let go, covering my face, laughing indignantly.

“Oh my God, Marnie, why are you doing this? It's clear you're lying to me. Tell me what's going on. Is someone blackmailing you? Threatening you? Is it Stephen? Did he mess with you again?”

“There's nothing going on, Luke. I just don't love you.” she says with her head down.

The sentence cuts through me, causing agonizing pain. I feel my body retract. Your voice comes back in my mind in different tones and shapes, telling me every time you loved me. Whispering, screaming, in normal tones, even the day she swallowed helium gas.

My eyes burn. I don't want to cry in front of her, not out of shame, because I've cried a million times, but out of pride in not accepting that I'm hurt.

“I didn't want to go that far.” her restrained voice hovers over me.

I look at Marnie, not recognizing her. This is not the girl I fell in love with. The girl I spent nights awake just imagining what it would be like to go out with her, what it would be like to hold her hand and see her smile at me. The girl I spent mornings admiring sleeping. That I wrote love letters. That several times made me forget even my name just for saying the same thing. It's not her.

But it's amazing how I still know she's in there, somehow. Maybe Marnie was right that day, she didn't want to feel like an intruder in her own life, but she was.

She herself undid everything we built. Everything we've fought so hard has fallen like a house of cards. The promises made at dawn about our future together, vanish with the wind. I know they weren't empty, but the girl who made them with me isn't here.

“I'm so sorry. I-”

“Say it looking at me.” I stare at her resolutely.

“Don't do that.” she begs in a whisper.

Her eyes flood with despair and I delude myself, even with pain. Her mouth opens several times, but her voice doesn't come out. Her eyes blink several times, trying to ward off the tears that are forming there. I watch her body hold the air.

“What? Weren't you so determined?! So convinced?! Didn't you come here for this?! So say it looking at me, not the walls, like you're doing.” her jaw locks. “Two years ago you came here to look me in the eye and say you wanted to try, you came to ask me for a chance for both of us. So now look into them and say you don't want it anymore.”

Marnie stares at me lost. I pray, I beg her not to make it, for her to give up on this stupid idea. That deep down she says she's afraid to surrender. I wouldn't mind ignoring this fight and pretending nothing happened. Then I would hold her and make her feel like I would protect her from everything, make her feel loved. But my thoughts change and I lose hope when I watch her take off the necklace I gave her.

“I'm sorry.” she puts it in my hand. Right now I don't mind letting the tears fall. I stare at my hands feeling destroyed. Her lips touch my cheek lightly and so she leaves my house and my life.

““What is this?” I open a smile watching her approach, openmouthed. “Luke, what is this all about?” her eyes run over all the details with curiosity.

For a few seconds, I don't know what to say. I lose my breath watching how stunning she looks in this flowery dress with wavy hair. Holy crap.

“Our first date.” I shrug. Marnie breaks into a beautiful smile, making her cheeks blush. The sparkle in your eyes enchants me.

“Luke, when you said a date I swore we were going to a restaurant, I didn't think…” her voice trails off, giving way to a delighted laugh.

"Have I exaggerated?" I approach her, looking at the small tree with scattered lights and the table for two with two candles. "If you say yes, I'll be upset." I make fun of her.

“No! It's perfect, is that… I didn't expect this. Not all of that.” she whispers. "Did you do all this?" she looks at me in surprise.

“Good part. Except the food, the intention is to impress you, not make you run away from me.” I look at her teary eyes and feel amazing for getting it right. She liked.

I take a deep breath, trying to control my breathing and my nervousness. I wanted to leave Marnie speechless, wanted her to make sure I was worth it. And even with all the effort, she managed to leave me speechless yet. My God, how could someone be so beautiful like that? Am I really that lucky to have gotten her attention? I mean, do I deserve her?

“I do not know what to say. Thank you.” I get lost in her eyes, feeling the butterflies in my stomach grow. It couldn't be possible for me to be in love with her that fast already, could it?””

Marnie pov.

Air doesn't reach my lungs, no matter how windy it is. My chest and throat hurt so much my body recoils with every sob. It was like sand in my hand, running through my fingers, I couldn't hold it back.

As torture, I replay the scene in my head again, watching his blue eyes lose their luster and let those tears fall. I wanted to hug him and tell him I was crazy, drunk. That deep down I was completely in love with him, and I didn't even need my memories for that. Luke is so amazing that he managed to win me over again and I believe he could a million times over. I wanted to say that I want him, I want him more than anything, but I can't.

The doorbell pulls me out of my private cell, my mind, prompting me to question whether the bomb had ever gone off. It would probably be Leah or even Ashton, but I don't want to deal with anyone right now. I don't want lectures, I don't want judgments, I just want to stay on the couch until tomorrow when it's my time to go to New York.

I crawl to the door finding the last person I want to see right now. John Letterman has a huge, excited smile, in contrast, my face is red and swollen from crying for the past few hours.

“Hi, Marnie, how are you?” Cursed the day I ran into him at the studio.

“What are you doing here?” John plays offended.

“I just came to ensure that everything is going with our agreement.”

"What does it look like?" I point to my face. “It's all just the way you made me do it.” I turn around, entering the still-destroyed apartment.

"But what happened here?" he looks at the destroyed hall in disgust.

“You, John. Just you and your disgusting manipulation.” John shakes his head laughing.

"I didn't put any gun to your head to accept this. I just showed you the truth, you are destroying the career of 5 seconds of summer. Your person's association is putting their contract and their tour at risk. You're the one who decided to walk away.” he smiles satisfied.

I break eye contact, too exhausted to debate.

“I'm glad you lived up to your part of the deal and I hope this is the last time we've crossed paths.”

"Then we are two."

“But if I hear you're trying to get close to Luke again…” the tone of voice pisses me off.

“I've already done my part, but if you keep pissing me off, I'll go to Luke right now and tell him the whole truth.” I threat, nervous. I try not to show that his laugh makes me confused.

“You know, I missed you, Marnie. That innocence is really funny.” John stops laughing and approaches. "Do you think Luke wants to see you now?! Why do you think I'm here knowing everything?! He already called me, asking me to schedule the trip. He hates you now, Marnie. You broke his heart. I don't care what useless word you say to him, because he won't believe it. Here.” he takes his cell phone out of his jacket. "Want to call him and tell him?! I will help you.” he returns a venomous smile.

“Get out of my house.” I say through teeth.

"What's up, Marnie? Don't be so passionate. After all we are friends.” he makes fun of me.

"I said 'get out of my house.'” I scream, picking up a decorative vase beside me and threatening to throw it at it.

John doesn't look scared, but heads for the door.

“One day you'll thank me, Marnie.” he says before closing the door. I throw the vase, screaming, seeing it crash against the door.

The urge to go to Luke and tell the whole truth becomes much stronger, however, even if I don't want to admit it, John was right, Luke must hate me by now, making everything I say empty. On the other hand, I remember that I'm doing this for him.

I know at any other time, if I knew the band was going through something like that, I would do anything to help. Now, making sure I'm the problem, I want to become the solution and if that meant having to walk away from it then I would, after all their success and happiness could be mine.

I want to have faith that a few years from now, when everything is better, maybe I can get Luke and the others to understand why I'm doing this. Maybe we can even be friends if he doesn't hate me.

I give up, going up to my room for a shower and straight to bed. It's horrible knowing I need sleep to be acceptable for tomorrow, but I can't turn my head off. Even exhausted, I go over every fight I had today. Noah, Luke, and John's voices mingled in my mind, draining me more and more of my energy, but not to the point of putting me to sleep.

The night slowly drags on and the approach of dawn makes an anxiety rise within me. Yesterday they could have held back so they wouldn't come to debate anything, but I doubt that someone won't show up today and, given my state and mood, I'm sure I won't have the strength to fight.

For the few seconds and times I dozed off, I dreamed of the doorbell ringing, of Leah screaming for me to open the door. Finally, when the clock struck a little after five, I decided to get out of bed. Wrapped in the duvet, I walk to the kitchen, making tea. With my drink ready, I walk over to the couch on the balcony, watching the sky clear up for my last day in LA.

Passed morning, I go for a shower with the intention of getting rid of this weight. I lock everything in my room, not knowing when I'll be back. In the closet, I grab Luke's box and pull out my diary and some of our Polaroids. I also take the little white box, carefully storing it in my suitcase.

I walk around the house, closing windows, turning off power and stuff. I don't worry and much less care about the mess I made yesterday, if I ever come back to this apartment, I'll ask for a huge renovation, not wanting to remember anything from that time.

Around 8:00 am, I tell Martin that I want to go to the airport early, wanting to avoid any of my friends or family. I had already talked and said goodbye to my parents before the party. I'm relieved when he says he's on his way.

I take one last look at my apartment, accepting my defeat. I pick up my bags, already going downstairs and moving forward as much as possible to just leave, I just didn't count on Ashton at the front desk of the building

"Ash?" I call him on impulse. My friend turns to me, apparently not at all surprised to see me with my bags.

“Can we talk?” he questions calmly.

“I need to go to the air-” I try to dodge him, but Ash steps in front of me.

“Five minutes. I do not want to fight. I just want to understand you.” he interrupts me.

“You don't understand, Ash.” whisper. “I need to go.”

There's one thing I've always admired about Ashton, that peace he has and emanates. He in no second judges me with his gaze, in fact, this calm almost makes me tell everything, trusting that he would listen to me and believe me. But in seconds this idea loses strength, after all, Luke would not believe me and John could still harm the band.

“You know, I remember the day we met very well. You were the new student in yoga class and I was happy to have someone my age there. We weren't the best students and we talked too much, which caused us to be thrown out of class.” he laughs a little. “But even without that, we became good friends. It is not?”

“Yes,” I whisper, trying to understand where he is going.

“Marnie, I can't explain what was different with you, but I really didn't want to lose touch. I wanted you to be my friend. The problem is, in the end, I took care of you like my little sister. I think I projected that onto you. I've always taken care of Lauren and Harry a lot and I miss them sometimes. I always wanted to and will always protect you, but I need to know exactly what.”

“Ash…” I try to interrupt him but can't.

“I lost you once, in that fucking accident. I lost you to amnesia. I don't want to lose you for a silly thing. Marnie, please just tell me.” he pleads, holding my hands.

It pains me to see him like this. I can see the desperation in his eyes, just as I saw it in Luke's eyes. I know it hurts, but it has to. Ashton was definitely the best friend I've ever had in all my 23 years, I don't need my memory to prove it. Just a conversation with him and I realized our connection. Really, Ashton is the big brother I never had and I'm grateful for that.

Without the strength to want to convince him of the story I had already created, I pull his body to me, hugging my best friend for the last time. He doesn't deny the hug, squeezing me tightly, as if to stop me from going.

“Thanks for everything, Ash. Please don't forget my speech.” I give him a kiss on the cheek, ready to get into the car that has just arrived.

'It wasn't by chance that you and Luke met.” I stop at the door, turning confusing to him. “Ever since I've known you, I've known you'd be perfect for Luke, you're almost the female version of him. I just gave you guys a little push to see each other, because I knew the moment he saw you, he was going to fall in love with you.”

I stare at Ashton for a few more seconds before turning towards the car, feeling the tears wet my cheek once more. I didn't need to be an expert to know that yes, Luke and I were made for each other, but unfortunately, not all soulmates end up together.

I'm so sorry, I know I'm late. I have a undergraduate thesis at the end of the year and I am too busy with it. But I promise not to delay this amazing fic for you anymore. Thank you so much for all the support and affection, you're amazing. Until the next chapter!

P.s. which I will post in a few hours, after all, it's the least I can do after a month of delays. See ya! xoxo

[vs-redemption]

I love Soft Saturday/Sunday! :3 I remember you posted a selfship of yourself and I wanted to try one for me lol so, here goes! It was a bit hard/weird because I don't think any of these wonderful guys would be with me ^^U It was still fun to do though!

1.) Belle x Todoroki, Shouto (Bellouto? Shoutelle? Belloroki?)

- I'd probably be very distant with Todoroki at first because of his cold demeanor. It would have to be Midoriya who would get us together.

- We would end up sitting together at the same lunch table, chatting with our group of friends. Eventually our love for noodles would bring us closer. I would buy him some different types of cold soba or even show him unique recipes to try out. If I ever see anything soba related, I'd text him and say "Look! I thought of you! It's your fave ^^"

- Once he opens up about his past, I'd probably get teary eyed and give him a big hug. I'd thank him for trusting me enough with his childhood memories and I'd also eventually open up to him about my own hardships.

- I would give him all my love without smothering him. I'd just want to show him the love and care he deserves especially since he didn't have much of it growing up.

- I think it's the little things that might make Todoroki fall for me. Things like bringing him tea when he's studying late, if he fell asleep before setting up his alarm, I'd put one on his phone and on my own just to make sure he'd wake up on time, praising/acknowledging all of his big and small accomplishments, getting his favorite food when he's sad/had a rough day, sending him cute text messages like "Good morning, handsome!" or even doing something like this:

Me and Todoroki: *studying intensely*

Me: *gasps loudly* OMG

Todoroki: What? O_O

Me: I love you. (´,,•ω•,,)♡

🙈

2.) Belle x Miya, Atsumu (Bellumu? Biya? Atsubelle?)

- I'd have to have known him for a long time before we'd date. Kind of like childhood friends to lovers? If I met him at an older age, I might think he was a jerk and wouldn't want to go out with him.

- I wouldn't be afraid to call him out. Like when Atsumu is having his "if you can't hit my toss then you shouldn't be on the team" moment, I'd probably punch his arm and scold him.

- I'd have to turn it around and tell him "what if someone told you that?" or "treat others the way you want to be treated". I think he'd like that I don't treat him any different or baby him.

- Since we're childhood friends, we're already comfortable with each other. We've also seen, heard, and been through a lot together. We'd know silly small things about each other like "Atsumu always listens to this song right before a game" or "His right eye always twitches 3 times before he sneezes"

- He's seen me go through some relationships and has seen how I've acted/treated the person I'm dating. Atsumu would see that I put in a lot of effort and the stuff I'd do for my previous boyfriends. I think that would eventually make him want to ask me out. It'd be something that he might want to experience, too. Like how it would feel to hold my hand or share a loving embrace.

- When we'd get angry at each other, it could get a bit loud, but we would resolve things quickly.

- Our relationship would also be fun and full of silliness and lovely surprises. He'd do something like honk the horn right when I'm passing in front of his car to get to the passenger side. Atsumu would also surprise me with a gift that I've been eyeing or even a spontaneous trip to somewhere!

3.) Belle x Kageyama, Tobio (Bellayama? Tobelle? Kagelle?)

- We met at a mutual friend's party in college. We'd probably talk about how we were basically dragged there.

-I love to party/hang out, but when I have something to do/ a goal, I strive hard to accomplish it. (ugh, getting some PTSD from nursing school lol)

-We would end up talking about our ambitions and what we hope to end up doing in our lives. After becoming friends for a while, we'd get on the topic of relationships. We'd both want someone who is patient and understands that when we're busy, we're not ignoring them. We're studying/practicing.

-I think that is what convinces both of us to start a relationship.

-We're both busy and can get stressed out easily, but we'd know what to do to ease the stress a little. Like giving Kageyama different flavored milk cartons.

-It would look like we don't spend much time together/don't really act like a couple, but when we have free time, we'd be spending it with each other.

-We'd get our nails done together. （〃・ω・〃）

-We'd both have to think about how great it would be when we get settled with our careers and that we'd have more time to spend together. Planning future adventures/vacations is our motivation.

-Even though I'd miss Kageyama dearly, I totally understand how it feels like when you have other obligations. I'd never want to get in the way of his goal so I would do my best to support him and show my love in any way that I can and that would be something he might love about me.

First off, all three of these amazing boys would love you to pieces! You are so thoughtful and kind and they'd be foolish not to fall for you! I accept no arguments about this. 😊 This got way out of hand so... gonna put my rambling below a cut.

Send me some soft headcanons

Let's talk Todoroki! Gonna be honest... I don't know if I trust Midoriya to play cupid 😂 Of course, meeting Todoroki through him makes sense, but you know who zeros in on how cute you two look together immediately? Yes, it's Mina! Thankfully she's not obnoxious about it, but she does have your back. She expertly manipulates every situation to give you and Todoroki a chance to interact. Somehow, thanks to her, he always ends up sitting/standing right next to you in class, at lunch, in training, on the bus, on the sofa in the common room... EVERYWHERE.

Poor boy would be so confused at first by your attention. Like, of course he doesn't mind being your friend, but nobody else texts or talks to him about his interests outside of hero stuff. He didn't even know anyone noticed he liked soba that much. And all the little things you do for him like bringing him tea or setting an alarm, he's not used to it. He doesn't hate it though. Actually, he kind of likes it. And I just want you to prepare yourself for the day when he takes the initiative and your phones lights up with a message from him for the first time with a picture of some random thing that made him think of you. *my heart would explode*

It's all downhill after that because he really likes the way you respond when he reciprocates your kindness. The flustered look on your face when he brings you some of his sister's homemade soba noodles for lunch, the cute emojis you use in your texts when he messages you first in the morning, and the shy smile you give him when he finds the courage to compliment you. He's never wanted to take care of someone the way he wants to take care of you before.

ATSUMU. You're totally right. I'm the same as you in that I would not trust this little shit for a while after meeting him. Childhood friends to lovers is nice because you there's no way you wouldn't know the real Atsumu. The idea of you knowing little personal things about each other is so cute too. Atsumu takes advantage of this and always gives the best gifts for birthdays and holidays. And he's always so excited to watch you open what he got because he KNOWS you'll love it because he knows YOU.

I'd like to say that he'd be into the fact that you treat him normally like anyone else, but something tells me he would actually expect special treatment since you two are close friends. It would surprise him a little every time you reprimand him for being rude to his teammates or fighting with his brother. He respects you more than anyone else in his life though, so he always straightens up his act just as soon as you give him that look. He hates when you're angry or annoyed at him, so of course he'll be on his best behavior for you. Honestly, he'd do anything to get positive attention from you. (He's already such a simp for you and he doesn't even realize)

He thinks he's just being a protective friend when he criticizes all your previous boyfriends. None of them are even that terrible but in his eyes, nobody treats you the way you should be treated and nobody would ever be good enough. He puts you on a pedestal to be honest. And yes, once you're together it would be full of teasing and giggles and he would absolutely take it too far and overdo it sometimes and get himself into trouble, but it's okay because you know he never means to upset you. He's just so excited and in love with you.

Kageyama's turn. Oh my god! This boy would be so awkward at a college party. He'd probably just be all tall and weird standing in the corner like 😳 what's happening? Thank goodness for you, coming over to talk to him ... but wait... you're so cute... WHY are you talking to him? Now he's flustered for a different reason and he tries his best to have a normal casual conversation with you but he stumbles over his words a bit but bless your heart, you pretend not to notice and continue smiling at him. He thinks you are SO PRETTY!! omg😭

A huge weight lifts off his chest when you start talking about your goals. He knows about goals. That's easy. The look on his face is kind of scary at first because it looks like he's scowling, but he is just listening very intently to you and absorbing every single word. He almost seems like a different person when you let him talk to you about volleyball. His whole face lights up and he's talking very enthusiastically with his hands. He apologizes for ranting at you afterwards, but is also amazed that you'd stayed and let him talk so long.

Being around you IS a huge stress relief. At first he's worried about not spending enough time with you or making you think he's not interested because of his awkward mannerisms. But you're always super understanding and patient with him. Plus, you're just as busy working towards your own dreams. He supports you as much as he can just as you do for him and falling into a relationship is just really easy and natural for the two of you.

Kageyama doesn't really know how to do big extravagant dates, so just being able to take walks with you, or do activities like doing your nails together is enough to make him happy. He WANTS to do more for you though. He would never admit to this, but he actually has a small list of things he plans to do once you both have more time. He pays attention to what you might even consider silly throwaway comments like "One day we should...." or "Sometime I'd like to...." He writes it all down because even if they aren't career goals, those are still things you want which makes them very important to him.

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.