#i have a lot to say about all of this but im afraid that i have harassed everyone enough about s4m. in this way.
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Hiii!! I've been thinking about this for a while, and I feel like you're the best person to write it. Something where the reader and Kenan are getting involved, spending time together, but no one knows. They don’t follow each other on Instagram and try not to like each other’s posts so no one gets suspicious. She told him it would be the best way to avoid gossip since she’s the daughter of a famous retired football player and wants to keep things low-key. But after a night together, Kenan tells her he's tired of hiding, that he wants her at his games, and that he doesn't care about all that. Still, she keeps avoiding it. There's an important match in two days, and he really wants her to be there. Then, out of nowhere, her dad decides to visit and takes the chance to watch the game. She texts Kenan, telling him that his wish is coming true—she’ll be there, and no one will suspect anything. The game is amazing, and she ends up appearing on the big screen next to her father. Those images start circulating on football pages because everyone is fascinated by how stunning the ex-player’s daughter is. This brings a lot of attention to her, and suddenly, some bolder footballers start following her. Kenan does not like that…
I feel like there could be more to this, but I can’t think of an ending. I know you can turn this into gold!
❦ - hidden in plain sight.



summary:: what the req says + i honestly wouldn’t be able to tell u bc i didn’t proofread this and i wrote it like last week (idek if this even follows the req but im posting this otw to school?)
warnings:: uhhh none
writers note:: RIGHT so i think im people favourite kenan writer bc the reqs just keep coming (i love you guys pls don’t ever stop my cuties!) anyways enjoy 💔.
tags:: @barcapix @n0vazsq @httpsdana @paucubarsisimp @universefcb ; lmk if you wanna be added or removed!
kenan leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, watching as you slip one of his hoodies over your bare shoulders. it’s too big, the sleeves hanging past your fingertips, but you wear it anyway. you always do. the early morning light filters through the curtains, casting a golden glow on your skin, making the moment feel softer than it really is.
you’ve spent the night together, again, but as always, you’ll be gone before the world wakes up. it’s your unspoken rule.
but something feels different this morning. there’s a weight in the air, something unspoken lingering between you. you can feel kenan’s eyes on you as you tie your hair into a loose ponytail, as you reach for your bag. normally, he lets you go without a fight. normally, he kisses you once more, watches you walk out the door, and waits for the next time.
but today, he doesn’t just let it go.
‘you really think this is still working?’ his voice is quiet, but there’s an edge to it.
you pause, fingers tightening around the strap of your bag. ‘what do you mean?’
‘this. us. hiding like this.’
you turn to look at him, his expression unreadable, but there’s something in his eyes, frustration, longing, something deeper than either of you have ever acknowledged out loud.
he steps forward, his hands slipping around your waist, pulling you closer. ‘i want you at my games. i want to see you in the stands, wearing my jersey, cheering for me. i want to go out with you without having to think twice about who’s watching.’ his fingers tighten just slightly, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away. ‘and i don't care who knows.’
your heart clenches, but you force yourself to shake your head. ‘kenan… you know why we do this. the second people find out, it won’t be about us anymore. it’ll be about my dad, about gossip, about every little thing i do. and then there’s your career-‘
‘my career?’ he scoffs, his jaw clenching. ‘you think i give a damn about what people say? i want you. that’s it.’
you look up at him, searching his face for something, understanding, patience, anything to make this easier. but all you see is frustration and something deeper, something that scares you.
‘kenan…’ your voice is soft, uncertain.
‘no. i’m tired of this, babe.’ his hands tighten on your waist like he’s afraid you’ll slip away just like every other morning. ‘i want you there. i want you to be able to post a picture of us without thinking twice. i want to hold your hand in public without looking over my shoulder.’
you want that too. god, you do. but it’s not that simple. it’s never been that simple.
‘please,’ he says, voice lower now. ‘come to my game.’
you don’t answer. you just press a kiss to his jaw and step back, reaching for your bag. ‘i’ll see you later, kenan.’
he watches as you leave, jaw tight, hands clenched into fists like he’s fighting the urge to chase after you. but he doesn’t. he never does.
two days later.
you’ve been avoiding the topic. every time your phone lights up with kenan’s name, you hesitate before answering, knowing exactly what he wants to say.
then, out of nowhere, your dad calls.
‘thought i’d come visit for a few days,’ he says casually. ‘been a while since i saw you. figured we could catch up, and… oh, i got us tickets to that big juventus match. i know you don’t care much, but come on, it’ll be fun.’
your heart stops.
kenan’s game.
the universe has a twisted sense of humor.
when you text kenan, your hands are shaking, half from nerves, half from something else.
you’re getting your wish. i’ll be at the game. no one will suspect a thing.
his reply is instant.
finally.
match day.
the stadium is packed, the energy electric. cameras flash everywhere, fans wave banners, the roar of the crowd vibrates through your chest. you sit next to your dad, pretending this is just another game, just another night. but it’s not. you know it. and kenan knows it too.
you try not to look for him, but it’s impossible. every time he gets the ball, every time he makes a play, you feel his presence like gravity pulling you in. and then, in a moment so brief you almost think you imagined it, he looks up, right at you.
you don’t breathe.
he smirks. just for a second. just for you.
then the screen shifts.
your face. your dad’s. plastered across the big screen for the entire stadium to see.
your stomach drops.
your dad laughs, nudging your arm. ‘guess they like seeing an old legend in the crowd, huh?’
you force a smile, but your pulse is racing.
the internet moves fast. by the time the game ends, pictures are everywhere, sports pages, football accounts, gossip sites. ex-player’s stunning daughter spotted at big match. the comments flood in. admiration. curiosity. and then… attention. the kind you didn’t want.
your notifications blow up. blue check accounts start following you. some of them are footballers, bold enough to slip into your dms, dropping fire emojis, compliments, invitations.
and kenan?
he’s livid.
later that night.
you’re in your apartment when he shows up, not even bothering to knock.
‘so that’s what it takes for you to show up at one of my games? your dad bringing you?’ his voice is sharp, but underneath it, there’s something else. jealousy. frustration. something that makes your chest tighten.
you cross your arms, shifting your weight. ‘kenan, don’t—’
‘don’t what? act like i didn’t see how many guys suddenly started following you? or how you ignored my texts but had time to post?’
‘oh my god, are you serious right now?’ you let out a short, humorless laugh. ‘this is exactly why i didn’t want us to go public. the second people know, it becomes a thing.’
he steps closer, his jaw clenched. ‘this isn’t about people knowing. it’s about you acting like you don’t want to be seen with me.’
that hits harder than you expect. you open your mouth, then close it, unsure what to say.
kenan shakes his head. ‘you think hiding protects us, but all it does is push me away.’
you swallow hard, because deep down, you know he’s right.
‘you’re mine,’ he says, voice lower now, rough with emotion. ‘and i want people to know that. so tell me right now. do you want this or not?’
the answer is easy. it’s always been easy.
you step closer, press your hands to his chest, feel his heartbeat pounding beneath your fingertips. ‘of course i want this, kenan.’
his lips crash into yours before you can say anything else, months of frustration, longing, and unspoken words pouring into the kiss. he backs you against the wall, hands firm on your waist, like he’s trying to make up for every second he’s had to pretend you weren’t his.
when you finally pull away, breathless, he smirks. ‘good. because next time i look up in the stands, you better be there, and not because your dad brought you.’
you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. ‘fine. but if i show up, i’m wearing your jersey.’
kenan grins, hands still tight on your waist. ‘now that’s what i like to hear.’
#football x reader#football one shot#football fluff#football x y/n#football x you#kenan yildiz x y/n#kenan yildiz x you#kenan yildiz x reader#kenan yildiz
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10+ hours of tom scott approved europop for your listening pleasure. bonus commentary under the cut.
everything above "shelter me from the rain" (the hyperpop beardyman song they made for that colab video) is songs he mentioned on europlop with tim. they range from songs and artists he LOVES (mika, aqua, petras' turn off the light etc etc etc) to songs he liked, enjoyed or was at least a bit positive towards. a lot of songs are there because he brought them up just to compare them with the song of the day (usually to say that they were better. examples include marinas savages & primadonna, radioheads creep, gwen stefannis what you waiting for and more). everything AFTER shelter me from the rain is songs he mentioned once on random videos, his newsletter, on a random podcast episode he appeared in, park bench episodes etc etc etc. at first i wanted to write a complete analysis on all of those songs, cite my sources, everything, but im afraid i cant really be bothered. sorry. still u can ask me if u want a source for a specific one? theres about a 70% chance that i will remember where it got mentioned.
nonetheless, here are some honourable mentions and final conclusions:
i believe in a thing called love was apparently quote "his university anthem" end quote.
awkward by jens he specifically mentioned hating the start and he is 100% right. i dont like it either. but he seemed more positive about the rest of the song and i like it too so i put it in the playlist. because at the end of the day i made this playlist for me.
he likes a lot of what i can only describe as girlypop. common tom scott w.
the man loves intentionally cheesy german schlager. clearly, theres no saving him.
also a lot of eurovision because of course.
yes, the last song in the playlist is the infamous rickroll, beause of course it is. so in a sense this playlist can also work as a pretty low stakes game of russian roullete if you are listening on shuffle.
david bowies space oddity is there because 1) i love it and i cant listen to it withouth thinking about him, 2) i had already put it in the playlist but then i remembered that one instagram post of his where he used one of its lyrics as the caption. i probably would have left it in the playlist anyway, because again i made this playlist so i can listen to it, even if he hadnt mentioned it anywhere publicly but this made me very happy :]
we have old man river. we have william shatners common people. we have vengaboys. ymca. chappel roans good luck babe. we have everything.
at the time of posting this ive gone through 60/140 pages on europlop. the playlist will keep getting updated as i make my way through the earlier years.
thats all.
#music#tom scott#tscott#Al's ramblings#spotify#Spotify#wow i love accidentally posting my drafts.#anyway im certainly not deleting it now#bon appetit. and happy jet lag the game s13 to those of us that celebrate#note to self: add the ive been everywhere johny cash song to this playlist
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hi again, same person who sent the most previous ask (at least i hope lol since im too afraid to come off of anon)
is there any particular reason as to why you think the english shadow milk isnt the real shadow milk either? i mean everything he says in english is canon, so I don't see how that wouldn't make him real? im not saying he can't act serious at times, but i feel like him being unserious is a part of his character, not to mention the various jester inspirations his design takes. idk if i misunderstood what you had said or not, it just confused me as to why it's supposedly not real just because he acts unserious at times sob
Cookie Run Kingdom is a KOREAN GAME, with KOREAN VALUES where they originally write the story in the KOREAN LANGUAGE which has POLITENESS LEVELS that the English translators ate either trying so hard to convey or couldn't give any less shit about even trying to accurately convey it that it still ends up not making sense. (Shamil in this case ESPECIALLY?? The other Beasts were simply toned down violence) (This is not aggressive, this is Homestuck capitalization method emphasizing.)
English Shamil is just the product of the English translators attempt to make a character that would highly appeal towards Western fans, aka: Tumblr Sexyfication™️. Everything he says might be "canon" but there's this evil we call the English Localization who ruins everything for everyone for the sake of money. They even only provided CJ with less information about his character that reduced him into a "male harlequin" when the Korean voice makes him more noticable that he wasn't always a jester. Jesters in real life also used to be scholars but they refuse to even acknowledge that? How to you mess up THIS BAD that it wasn't intentional??
youtube
Majority of Korean Shamil kingdom interaction lines are not only silly, there are at times where he's genuine or just straight up unhinged.
Genuine: "Cookie of Knowledge? I used to be called that~"
Unhinged: "Wolf! A wolf appeared!!!... Really, or not?" "Have you ever lied? Then we've already met~" (This bitch wants us dead, bro.)
An entirely different line(also unhinged): "If you trust me, I'm a liar. If you don't, I'm a bad cookie. What's your choice?!" (What the FUCK are you talking about😭) replaces "If I told you I'm a liar, would that be a lie?" (this is just silly :/)
And comparing those to the English lines, En ONLY makes him look silly.
And I have NEVER seen this many Cookie Run ads before, and all of them are Shadow Milk. They never did this with Burning Spice or Mystic Flour. What I even find So ANNOYING about the english crk channel is how much they're exploiting people's Shamil favoritism into watching a lot of their videos because it's about Shamil.


800K VIEWS??? 200K FROM A MILLION??? OMG. EVEN THE ONE HOUR VIDEO WHO NEEDS THAT??!?!
He's not even a normal complex character anymore. He's starting to become another brain rot character. 😭
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OP your headcanon about Edgeworth intentionally growing his front bangs out to hide his ears when they blush is EXTREMELY adorable. immaculate. Do you have any other headcanons you’d like to share?
Have a good day.
Yesss OMG hIIIII! im so glad you asked anon!!!! I’VE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THEM FOR SOOO LONG
HC list because I’m crazy (i apologise that they’re pretty much all about the same topic)
(Healthy and working) Wrightworth is only possible during and after SOJ just because both are at the place in their life and mental journey where they'd be able to form an actual working romantic relationship.
Wright didn't realize that his feelings for Edgeworth were romantic for a pretty long time (I'd say for about aa2-aa3 time). He knew he loved him, sure, but he loves and cares for Maya and Pearls too, Larry to an extent too. He both didn't bother and didn't care hard enough to look deeper into that feeling, he knew he cared about him and that was basically it. Phoenix is “I'm probably bi, but I have a job so idrc about it rn” in my book. And his feelings did start to fade after awhile. ((before of course getting reignited again))
Hot take: I dooon't think Miles is ace/autistic. I just think he is THAT dense. Or maybe has some form of personality disorder. His favorite pastime is yearning. (Please Investigations and him mentioning Wright any chance he gets… “everything reminds me of him”)
Missile is alive and well, retired and lives with Gumshoe during SOJ and beyond. Otherwise I'm hurting everyone and myself.
Maya wrote steel samurai fanfiction during aa trilogy, and since she has a limited circle of male friends a lot of mannerisms for Steel Samurai she took from Nick. Miles, not knowing the author deeply enjoyed those fics and would genuinely start tweaking out anytime Phoenix did something that alined with Steel Samurai’s quirks, thinking that SOMEHOW Phoenix knew abt those fics and purposely tried to tease him about it. Nick, in fact, did not know anything.
Iris was just as crazy and incredibly supportive of Phoenix’s idea to study law, hoping he would be able to save his friend from going down the wrong path, like she could never stop her sister.
Trucy has crippling separation anxiety. She was so afraid when the whole office decided to go to Khura'in thinking she would be left behind again, this time for good. She was DEVASTATED.
^ To add to this, Edgeworth knew she came along and agreed to basically play along, thinking that trial shouldn't be THAT bad. The second guards entered and held Apollo and Phoenix at gunpoint, he held her close and covered her eyes.
Existential crisis for Edgeworth since he's now the age at which his father died. His nightmares resurface again but now in a different form, where he's not too comfortable spending time in elevators with a certain defence attorney and his kid.
During his lowest disbarment moments, after trials that Miles invited him to assist on, Wright would throw out “I don't have any enemies on the prosecution side and I take stairs” anytime Edgeworth would ask him NOT to bring Trucy to court.
Similar thing with Maya realising she’s outgrown her big sister.
Pearl actually picks up a job at Shipshape Aquarium as a trainer. I really like the idea of her being pretty good, although she almost never does shows because she's uncomfortable with theatrical and performing in that way, but she's great as a side trainer.
Athena and Trucy taught Pearl how to put makeup on, since Maya doesn't use it much. Sahsa taught all three some performance makeup (Which Trucy was SO thankful for, since she had to learn everything by herself.. mostly. )
Maggey and Gumshoe are surprisingly good with kids and at first two months they would babysit Trucy while Wright recuperated, they're the best audience, assistants, participants and hecklers Trucy could ask for.
Initially Phoenix wanted to ghost mostly everyone, but could never do it. (he did jokingly ask Edgeworth for “a little advice” on how to, Miles did not take it kindly.)
Edgeworth has stupid habit of lightly tapping on his lips with a pen or a pencil whenever he’s thinking. Realised how weird it is when Phoenix lent him his magatama.
After getting shot and getting visited by Wright, Franziska couldn’t stop crying after she was all alone. To think that a person she thought was her rival and basically an enemy that wouldn’t show her mercy and any pity thrown her way would be an insult - came in with genuine worry and empathy kinda destroyed her. She even felt bad making fun of his visit, not that she’d ever admit it.
She's also eighteen. Of course she cried when everyone left.
Wright had to step aside when they discovered the contents of Inga’s safe besides the notepad. Held his locket extra tight.
Apollo counts EVERY of his honorary siblings as part of the family (that includes Rayfa and Tobaye). Which makes Wright a proud father of a goddamn football team (Trucy, Pearls, Athena, Apollo, Rayfa, Nahyuta, Ema, Tobaye… and that’s not counting Kay and Eustace)
Edgeworth still struggles with turbulence, after SOJ cutscene Phoenix resitted himself next to Miles, closing the window blinds, as to not to spook himself out. It was done both for moral support of Edgeworth and in case he passed out, Phoenix would catch Trucy.
There was a moment in time where Wright REALLY wanted to blame Trucy for what happend, but he couldn’t. ((maybe like the first few days, just to make things more convoluted))
Phoenix doesn’t trust people with his medicine or drinks. He can only take bottled drinks or the ones that were prepared right in front of him.
Pearl looks a lot like her mother. If not for the hair.
Trucy and Pearl got their ears pierced together. Maya gifted Pearl Mia's earrings and helped Phoenix pick a pair for Trucy.
NEVER put Datz and Butz at the same place at the same time. And never dare to even THINK of leaving them alone together.
No amount of convincing will make me believe that either Wright or Edgeworth work out. These bitches have the most average build possible.
Kay works as a private investigator on the side, letting the wind take her wherever the truth needs to be found and stolen.
The “honorary” children of Edgeworth and Wright + Maya have a groupchat, where they mostly just make fun of those two and share the latest wrightworth news (when those two FINALLY started making moves). They often kick Trucy out of the chat though, because she tends to react to messages out loud. Loud enough to compete with the cords of steel. Especially often the season of kicking and reinviting starts when they're spying on these two.
Phoenix wears his beanie over eyebrows because they're one of his telltale signs.
If Klavier annoys Apollo enough and stands close enough, he gets poked in the stomach.
Apollo gets a small dragon pendant in memory of Dhurke. Tries picking up guitar lessons (Klavier likes to tease him about it, but at the same time is really supportive when needed). Klavier enjoys joking about how he's already met future mother in law (they're not even dating 😭)
Eustace is a pretty successful prosecutor with a clean record (similar to Payne, who I genuinely like, so it's a compliment). Witnesses genuinely adore him and working with him. Pretty ruthless when it comes to finding the truth though. Still aloof, especially outside of the courtroom, he leaves all of his brain cells there.
During Khura'in investigations Phoenix was deliberately more touchy and clingy with Edgeworth, exclusively to annoy him after that whole "don't tell me you missed me, Edgeworth" and Miles claiming he mellowed down through the years. He doesn't seem too bothered by this however.
Self indulgent, but since neither of them button up their suits anymore, hands go right under them :p
The idiot trio aka Larry, Miles and Phoenix share some mannerisms, they probably don't even notice the similarities, until Gumshoe or Maya point it out.
Bobby's family misses him.
not a headcanon, but i cry everytime i think about Feys. So imagine aa 3-5 with “come” by Adrianne Lenker and class of 2013 with the Fey daughters in general and just cry with me
I'm also filled by PixelPartners playthrough specifically, so the dynamics mostly inspired by their takes.
And here's an excuse to post bad doodles from random times about these hcs. Have a nice day!!!





























#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#franziska von karma#apollo justice#klavier gavin#maya fey#pearl fey#trucy wright#iris hawthorne#larry butz#bobby fulbright#detective gumshoe#maggey byrde#ace attorney trilogy#ace attorney spirit of justice#kay faraday#eustace winner#klapollo#ace attorney#thaaaanks anon!!!! I LOVE talking#iris is celibate is still one of my favorite joke hc#phoenix almost done goofed#although he’d be glad it didnt work out with iris since morgan wont be his in law (yaay)#although technically it’d be bikini which isnt as bad i suppose#i left out so many things tbh but this is long enough#plus the numbers got messed up (and half of my tags deleted too)#sooo many characters to tag#honestly i love the whole cast like im not joking (genuinely like winston payne cmon)
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there's still sanism at work, im afraid. there is nuance in your community to root out and rather than feel the urge to defend against that, i would urge you to step back and do what my post is asking of you. the rhetoric you use, from reality checks to gaslighting, are signs to me that you're not engaging with the idea that some (only some!) of your arguments might be rooted in ableist ideas. i say all this mostly because i think doing that would only give you a stronger foundation for your beliefs.
anyways, couple things that i really want to say with love here is that while i also sympathize with revenge and having my reality tampered with (i am, again, a psychotic writing about psychosis), i think it's important to remember that for a religious person, religion is not an auxiliary to their identity. it is as much a part of their reality as it isn't a part of yours. there are lots of people who tie their own ability to survive in with their spirituality, so undermining that can feel really personal and internal in ways that don't always extend to atheism. this isn't really to demonize that behavior - there is a time and a place for everything, i think - but it might be useful to say.
also, your comment on religion affecting public policy is kind of also my point in the second reblog. public policy is often just using the religion as a total smokescreen, at least where Christian or Jewish influence (haven't studied others enough) is involved. decisions are made and rulings are cast, then religion is used to justify their authority. this isn't universal, but when you dig into religious texts you start to find that they're mostly made up of contemporary philosophy and legal arguments in certain coats of paint. trans people are unholy despite several neutral mentions of non-male/female genders in religious texts because it is politically convenient to make The Body something only the state can control. why is christianity such a massive proponent of homophobia? the political institution is carrying on legislation written by very real people thousands of years ago and reinforced by those it politically benefits along the way. i guess my point is that everything that has hurt you from a religion traces back to some individual or movement who can be identified with enough effectiveness to see where their fingerprints on our world are. the only invisible thing, in this regard, is the politic and sleight-of-hand.
i'm not arguing from the perspective you're arguing against, so sorry for any miscommunication! religion/culture is one of my fields of study so i just wanted to elaborate on some of my thoughts
White leftist suddenly against cultural preservation after learning it also includes that culture's religion, many such cases
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.
On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.
#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized#to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was#i have to say#i genuinely love it here#i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing#thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me#i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6#probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women#instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women#my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep#or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant#theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao#bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes#and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine#but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh#theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times#and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake#maybe im just jaded lmao#im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario#the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in#ff6#my post#i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults#but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults#who bully each other and younger fans#and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger#maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao#also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot
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the writers putting a song with lyrics like ‘i don’t know where i belong’, ‘if i make it home when our worlds collide’, ‘help me find my way ‘cause i’ve been feeling so lost and afraid’, etc in the background of the scene where theo makes it clear liam has voluntarily chosen to ask for his help and starts offering insight into liam’s emotions— specifically his anger and how it’s really just a manifestation of fear— is so crazy like. you paired a song literally called NOBODY KNOWS with a conversation about how they feel and how liam wanted theo to be the person who came with him when he was worried about getting out of control. but i wasn’t supposed to read into any homoerotic subtext. oh Okay.
#i think ab this song choice all the time im sorry 😭 its just so. WHAT#‘help me find my way’…. theo saying ‘you made the plan. you wanted me to help’…#‘ive been feeling so lost and afraid’… theo pointing out that liam gets angry when hes afraid…#but if i say something about how liam not knowing where he belongs is a feeling that in part comes from being ashamed of his anger because +#he views it as a darkness/flaw that he worries disappoints the others when he doesn’t have it under control#LISTEN TO ME!!!!!#liam has felt that way about his anger for a Lot longer than hes been a werewolf we see this in s4 !#i could go on but . some other time#thiam#theo x liam#theo/liam#theo raeken x liam dunbar#theo raeken/liam dunbar#6.16 triggers
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i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive
ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is
#snap chats#i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets#on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone#so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll#ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla#i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others#i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr#i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things#evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least#but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs#with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO#again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything#come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent#also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL#god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull#my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny#cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character#i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This#like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her#honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there#just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this
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#the secret to making friends is to let yourself annoy them#this is a joke but im also being completely serious#all my life I've been too apprehensive to make the first move because im always afraid of being bothersome#but looking back at the friendships through the past 4years at uni... im so lucky that a lot of people didn't worry about bothering me#and decided to come up and initiate conversation anyway#and also. whenever anyone has 'bothered me' by asking about me or wanting to know more... I have only felt loved and special...#so i guess what im trying to say is that#cringe culture is dead and theres nothing cool about prioritizing how you appear over the potential of a real bond#and I was born to be persistent and curious#so yeah. now that my graduate program will start in a couple months and there are opportunities to get acquainted with my classmates#I reach out to people with no attempt to hide my enthusiasm in getting to know them.#I double/triple text a lot and annoy them (affectionate) like i do my bffs and its incredible how 9/10 reciprocate that energy so quick#and despite the cultural differences and minor mistranslations/miscommunications we still manage to find common interests to discuss about#and it's like '!!!!!!! we're besties now'#yeah sure sometimes people might get a bit uncomfy and by the second message if i feel like I'm disturbing them I back off#but i won't know that until i reach out in the first place. so all in all this has worked really well for me and i love itttt#megumi in the tags
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i know ive talked about this a lot on akira but idk how much ive brought it up here ?! the struggles of talking about all my muses across all my blogs (will not change). but ive been thinking about it again, because akira 1) talks more than gran does 2) is more likely to actually speak up about their/your feelings. not to say gran wont address it, but theyll either be very short about it or show it through actions. motivational speeches is reserved for moments when its expected of them (captain stuff in main story, shieldsworn, etc) <-guy who actually does not like being the center of attention
there are times when they get better at it, depending on situation & ppl involved (vyrn&lyria has special rights, even tho there are times when they dont get to know either (no rain no rainbow....)), as the grandcypher & things theyve been through has them learning to rely on others a lot more. in general theyre rly thankful to have lyria around at most times cuz of how easily she feels for others (as someone who gained the life back in her eyes thanks to katalina!), cuz while theyre very often of the same feelings as her, shes a lot quicker at voicing it.
not very related but, gran, as someone who does know how to fight, is instead a lot quicker at stepping in front of others. ofc akira isnt, theyre Normal (even tho theyre always shown doing exactly that anyway if the situation calls for it/the time they ignore a death threat towards them in order to relay important information), but im mentioning it cuz i think a loooooooot about the times theyve jumped off islands/cliffs just to save ppl (alliah, at least 2 times in grimnirs fate eps alone, bnha..........). also constantly think about the yurius event when yurius goes to sacrifice himself and captain & albert are just wtfffff get OUT of there COME BACK HERE and refusing to leave him. caims 5* uncap........ i truly do think a lot about that moment in paradoxroid where no one goes after owen and akira decides to do it themself likeeee.......and akira who stood in front of owens body to protect him from a unicorn,,,,,,(gesture vaugely) something about the things the varied experience about the things they have in common
#stardust speaking !#the jumpscare i had when captain said some cheesy stuff in canon#when akira says that stuff like all the time#tldr akira is more consistent with dialogue-amount. gran varies a lot depending on situation & topic#emu is..............emu also hides away. smile of a dreamer has her trying to shoulder keeping the park her grandpa envisioned safe alone#and kirapika also has her carrying her feelings alone. 'if ure going to cry then cry in front of us' ughhh nene..........#always thought wxs conflict was neat because emus priority is the wonder stage while tsukasa & nene increasingly looked for things#beyond that. rui who asked emu and emu who said that she was going to stay with the wonder stage. gggggggggggggg perhaps ill read through#their main events before kirapika......#anyhow. emu & gran ppl who will not tell u when they are really really sad#IM RAMBLING but sr joel always makes me dizzy. captain who went with the assumption he was leaving the crew. and instead of#like. confirming it with him. instead got sad all on their own. and joel who rightfully gets mad with them because of it once he finds out#dude its so good its. 1) ive always liked joel so when his sr released i was like hell yeah 2) the fact they gave me this much captain stuf#of things theyve alrdy established too (captain is very worried after erste about everyone going separate ways too). ughhhhhhh gran who rly#does not want ppl to leave but also does not have the heart to ask them to stay#and is too afraid to actually discuss ppl leaving -> ends up making one-sided assumptions#when ure the captain & had to learn to rely on ppl (anime s1 is sooo big on this too) & struggle tremendously with expression urself
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#you know. i never really liked the sound of rain or how it looks outside when it storms#but i moved into my apartment yesterday and last night while I was unpacking it was raining pretty bad#and I think theres something poetic about me stopping the video I was watching and sitting on my bed to listen to the rain for a while#i have a lot of good things in my life right now. im not used to having good things. im not used to letting myself have good things#its a process we're slowly learning. but im glad to be here. and im looking around my bedroom still processing that this is mine#i turn 26 later this month and my birthday is always a rough time for me bc I get older but I would always feel stuck#but for once in my life. i think ill be okay.#anyway all of this to say is I have a semi busy day ahead of me and I need to shower but im afraid bc idk how my new shower works#that thang looks like some sort of contraption and I havent learned the secrets yet but such is life and a part of growing up#cal.txt#sorry for my weird poetic rambling i didnt feel like there was enough here for my collection of poetry google docs
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one thing I thought was missing from canon sk8 was the mine being haunted apparently. so we are bringing that into burnished house for absolutely no fucking reason
#sk8 the infinity#burnished house#(I am jokeing there is. in fact. a reason)#(you will not learn this until the divorce comes up)#(well the preliminary reason is I fucking love ghost stories and want to put them in everything)#(and that reki is afraid of scary things which makes him my favourite kind of victim. younger sibling coded for that only)#Im actually having a lot of fun alternating povs between reki and langa bc Ive like. accidentally grounded langa's in#very clear and present bodily sensations. straight up uncomplicated observations about materials in the world around him#while reki's gets all the hyperboles and pretty poetic stuff. I enjoy the idea of him being good at storytelling#ESPECIALLY bc him taking words to heart including scary stories. big deal to me ok?#love to write langa and going from things that clearly are present right there in the scene to the most insane thoughts a man can have#and then write reki and jump wildly between dork ass energetic shounen character speech and romanticizing the fuck out of concrete#weird thing to say after writing three fics of like 20K+ words in total about them granted lmao#but like. listen. I feel like burnished house is me going apeshit so far. this is truly my time to be the worst ever#same approach as I took with [REDACTED]. oh you think this is bad? just wait#I have already added TWO old people ghosts into this one. be in awe of my power#well. be in awe of it when I finish this chapter... I need to sleep rn dksdfhdskj#have a good nite lads. I cant wait to get to that one spot in this chapter where I go yess... YESS!!!! HAHAHA YESSSS#wish u the same for ur art endeavour. if ur art endeavour doesnt have something like that u should add it. my message to da world
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picking a course makes me want to cry and throw up so bad
#this will set up the rest of my life im afraid#there are 2 viable courses. the others are too complex and will not benefit me in the long run#the two viable choices. one I have experience in bec its somewhat art related#and it has real jobs. but its real rare and kind of underappreciated here where i live#might be hard to apply for#and the other one. i have vague interest in#not much experience however it has great jobs and opportunities everywhere#overall i will learn More and gain more from it probably. its not the most annoying subject in the world#sorry i dont have any figures that i can ask in my life about it hahaha all they say is 'which one would you enjoy more'#ive been in a self aware depressive state for years now i have no real passion for anything#i just do the things i know i can do#i would enjoy either the same normal amount#one where i can hone and expand on an existing skill#and one where i can take up new opportunities and expand my brain . my tool belt if u will#and i would really like either#i will gnaw wood#sorry for oversharing on main this is an actual cry for help heehoo maybe someone out there is going thru the same thing or whatever#it's just a lot of irreversible wasted time and effort and money
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its about perspective dont look at me
#LISTEN#we used to be a real country#i say knowing tsuba was always the favoured sister series#but COME ON NOW....#i suppose they both got iconic spots#they should make clamp in wonderland 3 that is just douwata#im joking i love the variety but i want to eat up more holic content yum#unless the holic content is a weird plot twist in rei or something#if the continuation after all that hiatus time ends up being a tsuba fetch quest or making watanuki clow im going to start#punching people#and hitting clamp with large hammers#i love clamp but i have one eye open at night imagining the things that could go wrong with rei#it has to be said#this isnt what this post was about OOPS#xxxholic#i know 99 percent of the few clamp fans there are left are tsuba mains#and that it has always been this way#dont question my actions its ok be not afraid#its clamp i have beef with lol#but also clamp r so cool#but also i have beef iwth them#such is being a clamp stan#twitter repost#rambling dont mind me#**meant to say 99 percent of the holic fans are tsuba mains#makes me feel kinda awkward cause im not a fan of tsuba altho im down to give it another try later#and i feel. mixed feelings as to clamp has handled their connection#especially cause it feels like holic is the 'losing side' and was always less favoured#but thats old news by now it just makes me nervous to bring that up now i actually follow a lot more fans Lol
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the reality that i’m moving to a new country is really hitting this week since it’s a month and a week until i move,, which should feel LONG but since christmas is smack bang in the middle it doesn’t feel like a lot of time at all actually
#saying goodbye to a lot of stuff this week which makes it even more real#rehoming my beloved fish#and getting rid of a lot of ancient art supplies#putting old clothes up for sale….#i’m a little afraid that i truly will not make any friends#but i cannot live in that fear#more afraid i won’t get somewhere to live#i would love somewhere to live very badly#but i’m just thinking of all the small conversations im about to have in french that are going to put me through hell#anyways everyone hope and pray for me on my journey#i would love to be Employed before i get there but not very likely 👎
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