#i have a kind of crazy idea of how I'm going to publish this novel but it requires a bit more research

[boinday]

A body in the water. A howl in the mist. A community secret. A God waking up. Sybil Kane, a London nurse, is dispatched to the isolated island of Calda off the Irish coast, to care for the grandfather she's never met. She's not built for the task; timid, quiet, and self-sacrificial, her journey across the sea dredges up past horrors she thought were long drowned. In the wake of the Irish Civil War and Free State, she feels like a foreigner on her own soil. The islanders are quick to embrace her – but they have plans for Sybil, plans they don't share out in the open. With only a revolutionary soldier and the local shipwright as allies, Sybil tries to persuade her newfound community to see sense and evacuate their elderly population to the mainland. But their roots are planted deep, and Sybil feels those tendrils growing around her... The longer she stays, the more she belongs. The closer she draws to the grotesque secret they keep hidden at the church...

Very excited to reveal the first teaser image of my novel, The Water Dog! It's been a long time in the making and is probably the most deeply personal story I'll ever tell. A mix of folk-horror and supernatural romance, I think people who've enjoyed my previous stories will be a bit surprised (in a good way I hope!) by this more intense literary experience.

I'll be releasing more updates soon, but this is the reason RTR has been on such a long hiatus. I've been writing like a demon all year to get this finished and edited to a professional standard. I can't wait to show you all more.

[stratocumulusperlucidus]

WIP REC

I love love love reading WIPs, the anticipation, the excitement of getting the notification for a new chapter, even sometimes the cliffhangers... So here are some of the lovely fics I'm currently reading!

Oh and if you read these, please consider taking a minute to leave a comment, let the author know you appreciate their work 💖

This Is More of a Comment Than a Question by @caterpills

Rating: Mature | Chapters: 3/10

Three weeks before Henry Fox's tour for his fourth, highly anticipated, awards-bait novel A Brief War in December begins, his publicist Janella breaks her foot on a bunny slope at Windham. Alex can't be mad at her, even though he kind of is. Saying it out loud would be like kicking her when she was down, and she already went down a literal mountain in the worst way possible. Now crammed in Rafael Luna's corner office, Janella is shooting Alex extremely apologetic looks while slumped on her crutches, wearing a bright orange cast. The conversation about who is going to be joining Henry Fox on his multi-city trek across the U.S. is also going downhill. Alex is feeling the same sort of free fall while standing still. Because out of all the publicists available in their tiny underfunded department, the only one left to escort their company's best-selling author is regrettably him. The problem is, well, Alex absolutely hates Henry Fox.

Or: Alex is the publicist for Mountchristen Publishers, and is stuck on a two-week tour with their best-selling, but frustrating, author Henry Fox.

Her Royal Highness by @tailsbeth-writes

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 5/?

'Shaan, can you please put an appointment in my diary?' 'Certainly sir, what is it for?' 'A reminder to kill Alex for getting me into this mess.' Shaan tried to hold back a smirk as he stepped back, tapping away on his tablet. 'Personally I think the blue glitter really brings out your eyes, sir.' This terrible idea had started like most of Alex’s did, a seedling planted by the most chaotic of the chaos demons; Nora.

or How Prince Henry ended up as a guest judge on RuPaul's Drag Race UK.

the full spectrum of human emotion by @firenati0n

Rating: Mature | Chapters: 3/6

Alex grips his hand tighter. They’re going to need to have a long, hard conversation in the next five minutes, or else Alex is going to combust right here in Pez’s fancy office. Explode for all of Midtown Manhattan to see. Here lies what remains of Alex, for all the world to witness—taken out by a rogue marriage proposal from his evil boss-turned-fiancé.

Or: Working under editor Henry Fox-Mountchristen was only supposed to be Step One in Alex’s plan of achieving his big dreams—but when his boss winds up facing an even bigger problem, potential deportation, Alex finds he isn’t just a beleaguered assistant anymore. He’s the solution.

It’s fine. They only have to fool his friends, his family, the United States Government…and themselves.

Life Is Not A Movie (But We Can Have The Fairytale) by @lfg1986-2

Rating: Explicit | Chapters: 3/?

Three years after the smashing success of the first Red, White and Royal Blue film, Nicholas and Taylor are preparing to return to their roles as Henry and Alex to film the sequel. After a late night of catching up with each other and reestablishing their close bond just before rehearsals begin, they wake up to find themselves in a crazy twist of fate, where fiction blends with reality and the lines between fictional characters and the actors who portray them become irrevocably blurred.

Or

What happens when Taylor is transported into the movie universe and comes face to face with Prince Henry, while Nick wakes up to find Alex Claremont-Diaz in his living room in the place of his friend and costar? Both pairs must work together to figure out how to get themselves back where they belong, and along the way they discover some things about themselves and each other that has the potential to alter their relationships forever.

take me back to San Francisco by headabovethewater / @getmehighonmagic

Rating: Explicit | Chapters: 2/8

“You don’t look like you’re having a very good time,” a soft voice suddenly startles him from his thoughts. Henry’s entire body jerks and he spills some of his drink down the front of his shirt.

“Oh, bloody-” He leans over to put his drink on the table and starts wiping at his shirt. “No, I’m- It’s not that, it’s-” He glances fleetingly at the stranger and then down at his shirt again, before his brain finally registers that oh, glasses, dark curls, white smile, exposed chest. Henry’s head snaps back up and his lips part in astonishment. Handsome doesn’t even begin to cover it. Him.

“Hi,” the man says, then chuckles. He hands Henry a napkin and gestures towards one of the other chairs at the table. “Would you mind?”

or, Henry and Alex meet on vacation in San Francisco and an instant spark between them has both of them unable to let the other go. With only two weeks to spend together and the knowledge that it can't last beyond that, it's just a massive, insurmountable recipe for disaster.

Or is it?

Unattended / Unsent mails by amnesia_on_ice / @amnesiaa-on-ice

Rating: General Audiences | Chapters: 4/?

Alex is a Singer Songwriter, henry is his arch nemesis Actor but also secretively writer. There is a long running feud between Henry and Alex. Now they are meeting for the first time in person in a vanity after party and the stan twitter have lots to digest of the meeting.

The story of Unattended/ unsent mails.

the drag of your lips by rizcriz

Rating: Mature | Chapter 2/3

Alex isn’t sure how he got here.

Here being pressed into the couch, his roommate straddling his lap and warm against every point they’re touching, soft lips moving against his own in the most sensual, leisurely pattern that Alex’s fingers instinctively flex where they’re clinging into his lower back. He’s hard in his pants, straining towards Henry, but there’s no desperate hands grasping, no drive to take this any further.

Or, Alex just really wants to make out with someone. Henry helpfully volunteers.

Foxden Park by myheartalive / @myheartalivewrites

Rating: Explicit | Chapters: 4/9

“Yes, Alex, what a terrible destiny,” Nora says. “To be hosted for a week by all these charming rich people, who have bent over backwards to accommodate us, including sending their own carriage into town to fetch us. How very dare we drag you into their nefarious scheme.”

—

Invited to a week-long house party at the Duke of Windsor’s country residence, Alex Claremont-Diaz does not expect to find anything to enjoy about his time there. What he does find is Lord Henry, the duke’s younger brother—and a boatload of things to learn about himself.

Seven days in the country in a duke's house. What could possibly happen?

[writeblrfantasy]

writeblr celebration!

it's been an incredible year for writers everywhere, and in a time when it's harder and harder to get recognition for your work, during a year that has given so much to me, i just wanted to give back and shout some people out. this is just a very, very small chunk of the writeblr pie!

first off, a huge congratulations to @ashen-crest for the explosive and incredible launch of a rival most vial. watching this go from your brainchild to the blorbos on my dash to a fully formed book to a viral sensation on indie lists and fantasy contests everywhere. it was, no question, my favorite read of the year. there is genuine magic in those pages, i am convinced. it's been magic to watch the book soar just as it deserves.

i hope the success continues to follow you in the new year!! you deserve every bit of the reward for all of your hard work. congratulations, and i can't wait to see what you come up with next!

next, @magic-is-something-we-create finished whispers, a lifechanging and deeply emotional read that i still think about 7 months later. watching you write this was inspirational and incredible to witness, you are an absolute Writing Beast. it's my favorite book of yours now. in my head, whispers is still just a concept that you'll write someday. it's crazy to remember that it's fully just. done. whoa

(go beta it for him if you have the time to read a Thick novel! you won't regret it. like i said, lifechanging) in addition, your drawings only get better and better with each one. watching how fast and how amazingly you completed each one was the best part of my week. you are a stunning artist in every way, and i wish you the best of luck in 2024 <3

@aritany, congratulations on surviving the tradpub trenches and emerging on the other side with your book!! your book is gonna be out in the world so soon! that's so cool, and so hard, and i'm so proud of you for making it through. i know your publishing career is going to be incredible.

(congrats on slaying nanowrimo, btw!! 10th novel is no joke) and i just can't wait to see what you come up with in the future. every idea and concept of yours is god tier. i always get so excited talking to you when you have a new wip, it's literal magic in the air. happy 2024 to you, may it be prosperous physically and mentally!

to the lovely @abalonetea, congrats on publishing your novels this year. the success of IDS85 has been incredible to witness; you deserve every bit of that reward. i only wish that all of your books got such recognition! it's always so fun to see what you're doing, what wonderful ideas are cooking up in your brain. no one does horror like you do, and the fact that you do it while balancing your day job is so impressive. i'm wishing you luck and love and ease in 2024!!

and for my good friend @ettawritesnstudies, where to begin! it was such a pleasure to meet you in person this year, a pleasure to watch and cheer you on as you graduated (!!) and worked on runaways. i hope i get to hold that book in my hands someday soon, or whatever else you publish. if you have one fan, it'll be me. if you have one person buying your books, it'll be me.

(i need to be like sleepy and have a dedicated shelf of writeblr friend books.) all the luck and vibes and love to you for 2024, i'm so excited to see where you go next.

and last but not least, @sleepyowlwrites holds this whole community together. writeblr is made so much better because of you, how inclusive, thoughtful, and kind you are to each one of us. thank you, sleepy, for everything you do and your gentle soul. i think of you often. i wish you the best of luck with your wips in 2024 and beyond, and i hope the best of successes touches you!

life is busy, and we all get caught up in the day to day, but i'd love if you could take a moment to spread the love! reblog with your favorite writeblrs and their greatest accomplishments. i want to end the year/start the new one with a vibe of positivity and sharing the successes we've all had. let's pass it on <3

[goodluckclove]

Various "Failures" From My Google Docs

Good morning! I'm at my usual coffee shop and got inspired by the troubles of a few friends to embarrass myself.

Sit down with me. I'm enjoying my usual blended chai. There's room on the couch if you'd like to join me.

So I've written thirteen novels. I think thirteen, I've actually lost count. Let's say, like, five full-length plays and twelve to fourteen finished novels. Impressive, right? Maybe. I'm realizing that I consider that not much of a brag, if only because I know the amount of trips and stumbles it took to get to one completed project.

I've ditched a lot of ideas. A lot. If I need to I can dig into my old hard drives to find all the doc files from my youth, but I also have the same Google Docs I've had since middle school.

It's mostly plays and ghostwriting assignments, but if you did you'll find some snippets from my constant attempts at growth.

Some stuff like this is okay. The line "hair slicked back/suit black silk" is pretty good, but a little too the writer thinks they're clever for me now. I don't really remember where I planned to go with this. I think the narrator was somehow going to be given the identity of Roy Fontaine. I was really fixated on the surname Fontaine at the time. I don't know why.

But then there's also a lot of stuff like this:

Hey look it's Fontaine again! I guess he's a doctor, too! Also I am astounded by how casually the main character just pulls out the Necronomicon. He pulls it out? From where? His pocket? Is it a zine?

I don't know why, but something about how suddenly this jumps in terms of dropping specifics makes me think that Sonic the Hedgehog is about to show up. I can't explain it.

This is the only thing in a Doc titled "Psychosis". I have zero memory of what I was planning on doing with this. What's kind of crazy though is that I wrote this in 2014, and six years later I'll use essentially this exact bit in a finished novel without even realizing it.

Another bit from 2014. No clue what I planned to do with this. It's hilarious to me that something stopped me from finishing the sentence. What am I, Franz Kafka writing The Tower? I didn't die. I wasn't raptured. I just apparently tried to think of something a large oak door would do and immediately gave up. It was 2014 I had finished, like, four novels. And this idea was fully stalled by what had to be a fucking huge oak door.

My favorite part of this radio play I tried to write is that somehow, believe it or not - when I wrote this I did not fully understand the Quantum Suicide thought experiment. And for along time I still kind of thought that this could be salvaged into a good idea, until last night when I asked my wife to put on a video describing the experiment and I immediately found it so dumb. Just ridiculously stupid. The only good thing about Quantum Mickey is that the title kicks ass and I'm definitely keeping it for something.

I've written a lot. A lot. I've earned the severity of carpal tunnel I currently have. If I had to put it into a statistic, I'd say maybe seventy percent ends up finished. fifty percent ends up polished to be read or published. Thirty percent actually ends up being read or published. I'm okay with this, because I enjoy the work. But for me, part of enjoying the work is not panicking when a project doing work.

If I need to end a project in the middle of a sentence, I do. I've clearly proven that I do. Sometimes I write for thirty pages and lose interest, other times I get a paragraph in and get distracted forever. That's okay.

That's okay. As long as you're doing something.

I could've included segments of Carnation, my first novella that was supposed to be a novel but I never finished it. But I fucking guess that's getting it's own post when I hit 150 followers so I hope you're prepared for what the type of stuff I enjoyed in middle school.

There's an Irish child that speaks exclusively in slang. You aren't ready.

[thebookdragonsden]

Omg my wife's I just resolved a weeks long misunderstanding and I'm dying. Little backstory and to set the stage... we're both heavy readers but for the past five years my tastes have leaned pretty far outside of the general Western reader's interest sphere (about 50% danmei web novels, 40% manga/manhua, and 10% western published media) and my wife, while much wider in her reading tastes has recently been caught up Korean manhua and those really trashy translated web novels that FB advertises.

So her coworker had recently mentioned he was looking for LGBT SFF recs, specifically YA because he was not interested in reading sexual content. She mentioned this to me and after In Other Lands and FT Lukens we both just kind of stared at each other blankly. Most of my western media consumption has been LGBT but it's also been adult or new adult.

So anyway she starts poring through ideas and the going through other rec lists. I'm playing a timed game demo so I'm only half paying attention to what she says and finally we have an exchange that goes something like this:

Her: you've read the Witch King right?

Me: yeah, not too long ago.

Her: would you recommend it?

Me: definitely. I really enjoyed it. But I thought he wanted YA and LGBT recs?

Her: he does.

Me: ??? Okay. Well the LGBT content is pretty minimal, mostly side characters, no romance, and i wouldn't really characterize it as YA

Her: ???? But it's on this YA rec list

Me: ???????? They crazy

Her: Isn't the main character Trans?

Me: he's a demon possessing bodies. Sometimes they were male sometime they were female. Pretty sure the author stuck to male pronouns though. Is that trans?

Her: hm

Me: I'm serious though. Almost no romance. There's an established side lesbiam pairing but one of them is missing for most of the story and the MC has some ambiguous relationships and accusations made about other men but it's never overt or the focus.

Her: alright

Three weeks later I'm sending her a screenshot from Illumicrate's upcoming special editions for HE Edgmon, gushing about the editions but mentioning I didn't know the books themselves. My wife sent me screenshots of the original covers, a funny post the author had made when doing cover reveals and then mentioned it was the same author as the Witch King. To which I'm like ????????? But i thought... And then i start frantically googling.

So that's the story about how my wife and I had a very confusing conversation for both of us regarding a book recommendation, where I was talking about Witch King by Martha Wells and she was talking about The Witch King by HE Edgmon and titles are hard.

[jeanmoreaux]

can you tell us a little more about dark rise? i love hearing you talk about books, and i'm always more inclined to read them when someone talks about them in depth rather than reading some random person's review of them.

*me, popping back up ten years later with a silly little drink in hand and feeling very, very embarrassed* hi there, wow it’s been some time. life is crazy, isn’t it?

i’d love to talk a little about it but at the same time i don’t think i can talk about it much without getting into spoilers? not that the plot is unpredictable but it partly lives off intrigue (it [the plot] is well-constructed, and as an avid story-enjoyer you’ll probably guess quite a few of the twists because they’re set up well, which doesn’t make the reveals any less satisfying tho in my opinion). so this is all gonna be very abstract and vague. sorry about that </3 idk if you’ve read c. s. pacat before, and while i’d say dark rise reminds of the other stuff she has published, it still manages to be quite different. just to have it mentioned from the start: we know she really likes to explore power dynamics, especially ones that are quite unbalanced in one way or another, and i think dark rise taps into that too, even though to a much lesser degree. so depending on how you feel about that, you’ll read this novel differently.

i think an aspect that’s most central to the story is the idea of fate and how an individual’s agency plays into it. is there something like fate making us into who we are? are we destined to turn out a certain way, a certain kind of person? is there free will to fight again what or who you’re supposed to be or do you play into the hands of fate by defying an ending that seems to be predestined? and i think the story isn’t only concerned with the concept of self-agency but also responsibility. how do you navigate your relationship with yourself and with others in moments when you’re seemingly forced into certain roles? what do you owe the people around you and what do they owe to you? how do you avoid dynamics and patterns and how responsible are the people involved for perpetuating or changing them. and there is also an emphasis on how our relationships, the love we have for other people, additionally influences all of this! this might all have already clued you into the fact that there are basically no straight forward answers to these questions. and i know we keep going on about morally grey stories etc. on this website that sometimes aren’t really morally grey, and in this case i’d say (give that this is a ya title, leaning (new) adult) it does actually engage with moral ambiguity and grey morality. also please keep in mind i only read book one so far, but i could see some corruption arcs happening (give the right circumstances). and ofc in true c. s. pacat fashion the interpersonal relationships do explore loyalty, devotion, seeing people at their worst and still choosing them, the building and breaking of trust, complex parent child relationships, trauma and how it influences your life, etc. there is a “chosen one” element to it, but i think it’s handled well and in an interesting way that truly allows for some interesting conflicts to arise later in the story.

it’s by no means a perfect book, and there are some things i would have tweaked or adjusted, but it’s some of the best ya fantasy i read in a while. it doesn’t shy away from leaning into some more uncomfortable things and it doesn’t try to baby the readers. it’s giving them space to think for themselves, i’d say.

[run2dasun]

Diary Entry 12.2.2022

Long time no sees! I'm sorry for not writing everyday like I said I would. Life has been pretty hectic. I'll give you guys the run down.

Since my last post, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with two girls. Crazy right? I confronted him about it, and he didn't really say anything. Not to be the one to use the word 'gaslight', but I am pretty sure that he gaslighted me. He tried to make it seem like I was overreacting. This happened before Thanksgiving. It was kind of sad, but it is what it is, and people come and go. I'll find someone better that can appreciate me.

After break, all that I have been doing is studying for my final exams. This is my first college exam, and I'm a little nervous. I have three papers that I need to write, and study very hard for my philosophy exam. I'm failing that class, with a 59%. i tried my hardest in this class, but sometimes things don't work out. But I'm hoping the extra credit will help bring my grade up. At this point, all that I can do is study and pray.

I applied for a job back in my hometown for winter break. I need a little bit of money before I come back down to college. So far nobody had contacted me back yet, but I'm going to apply for more today.

The final thing that I have done is go to therapy. I should have gone a long time ago, but my parents didn't support it, so now I'm going for free at my university. I'm going to be going consistently now to help me heal. I have tried healing on my own for years, but it feels like every step I take forward I always end up getting pushed ten steps back. I have an idea on things I need to work on and what order I should do that in. Yesterday, we talked about my first love, and how no matter how hard I try, I can never seem to get over him. I told her I tried everything to try and get over him but it doesn't work. My therapist (we will call her Bee), Bee suggested that a join a club or do something to occupy my mind. So now that is what I'm doing. I'm going to write a novel. I have a great idea for a novel. Eventually when I'm done with it, I'll send it to a publisher to see if I can get it published. I'm going to be very optimistic about this, because I think this could be a good thing.

Farewell,

-M

[gaykarstaagforever]

Fans of my Tumblr will remember when I did this post about Stawberry Hill House, a quaint gothic folly of an 18th century mansion, built by some Georgian turbo-nerd.

I didn't in that post do any discussion about what "gothic" actually means, because it is complicated and confusing and is applied to different things differently, depending on who is doing it. Suffice it to say now, it was an artistic trend of the second half of the 18th century, based on the First Industrial Revolution and the so-called The Age of Reason, where people counterintuitively got real into liking ancient ruins and dark medieval stuff and spooky things.

Before then, things were good or bad because the church or king said so; after we figured out the steam engine and medicine, we realized that demons weren't in fact responsible for 80% of everything, so being scared of them in principle was kind of a waste. Being scared of or liking ANYTHING in principle was goofy. Instead of everything being objectively a way, things are now subjectively a way, and how we feel and react to them gives them their REAL value.

Yeah it just goes on like this. Entire books of this shit. Secularism and capitalism (as a philosophy) come out of this. It ties in to why America's Founding Fathers suddenly felt like they could say "fuck the king for being jerk," while Thomas Jefferson sat there crossing out all the stuff about miracles in the Bible and giggling.

But it ALSO meant that if you wanted to be into ghosts or the histories of banned religions, or do drugs and think your drug-dreams mattered, go for it, landed gentry! Weird things are fun and exciting, instead of risking your immortal soul! What if there are beasts? What if WE are the beasts?!

Yes, this is where the idea of modern horror has its earliest pop-cultural roots. In 1764, Horace Walpole - the guy who built Strawberry Hill - wrote The Castle of Otranto, which he styled "a Gothic Novel." It was partially based on a scary dream he had while at Strawberry Hill, involving random giant pieces of medieval armor being in his bedroom. ...Which is one of those things that doesn't sound scary, but you damn well know it totally would be if you had a nightmare about it while sleeping in your whimsical fairy house.

The Castle of Otranto was an immediate hit. With the first edition, Walpole published it under a pseudonym and claimed it was an English translation of a Renaissance Italian work. In subsequent editions he dropped the pretense and admitted he just wrote it, which didn't hurt sales but pissed off all the literary critics who had been tricked. ...Which is funny, so good on him. But they immediately changed their reviews of it to "awesome" to "this totally sucks and is stupid."

Which either means they were unprofessionally pissy, or they had been generous initially, and now knowing it wasn't a translation, were eager to admit that, other than the fun crazy stuff, it isn't very good.

Yes, even for 1764. Walpole is intentionally going for an arch, dated, Shakespearean style, to fit his made up date (the 16th century) for the original Italian. And, man - it sounds like what happens when someone does that.

Shakespeare was writing in iambic pentameter. It was performance poetry, so it sounded like that to fit the rhythm and be compelling on stage. Minus those two demands, everyone who apes the style just uses big weird words for everything, and everyone talks too much about nothing in an attempt to have speeches or be funny, and the goddamn thees and thous...!

The Castle of Otranto gets worse as it goes along. I'm a third of the way through this 4 hour audiobook version, and every single scene is someone important and the help taking 10 minutes to discuss a thing we all just saw happen. It's like if the guy writing the King James Bible was getting paid by the word.

Modern critics and book fans almost universally agree it is "virtually unreadable." I wouldn't go that far. It is generally coherent and does characters well. But there is no hint of any kind of pacing, and the plot is one inexplicable thing happening to obviously disturbed people after another, with extended breaks for them to Hamlet Whine about it.

The story literally starts with a giant Renaissance armor helmet falling from the sky and exploding a man on his wedding day. Which sounds fun and fascinating. But neither the author or the story are seemingly interested in that as anything other than an ominous trope that triggers a bad, confusing soap opera.

At least so far. There are six chapters and I'm only into the second one, and it is a rough listen. More weird things happen, but so far it could just be one family and their comedy servants going mad, and all of the dozen characters are starting to run together, and people seem to keep teleporting around, and about half of the action takes place between scenes, and someone has to explain what happened to someone else.

I guess as a gothic novel plot, "spooky weird soap opera about crazy people in a gross house" is par for the course. But this first attempt at that has a few flaws.

Check it out (pretty sure a real person is reading this, due to audio issues and funny pronounciation / accent choices. It's fine). Free pdfs are easily available too, though I hear the formatting is especially weird and makes it harder to read. I haven't looked.

Trigger warnings: gore, attempted SA, the kind of confusing misogyny only the 18th century could produce.

And that's just the first hour!

Also ESOTERICA did a video about the book and the Gothic aesthetic in general a month ago, which is what inspired me to try the book. He goes into detail about the philosophical side of gothicism, if you are interested in trying to keep up with that.

[funkymbtifiction]

Creativity in ESFJ and ENFP (2w1 216 tritype)

Hi, love your blog - I am reading it for months  - it's so interesting. I love how you explain complicated things. I'm not an English native, so it's a big plus for me. I'm interested in MBTI and Enneagram for years and I still don't know whether I am ESFJ or ENFP. Persistent depression with anxiety doesn't help. [...] I know I have Si and Ne, but I don't know whether I am FeSiNeTi or NeFiTeSi. [...] I am pretty sure that I don't have Te, but using cognitive behavioral therapy I stopped living all day with my feelings and started to act.

This sounds more ESFJ to me already, since an ENFP can step away from their feelings to be more objective and you don't relate to Te. Te is what I call "duh logic." The obvious kind where the solution is bluntly obvious to the person using it. Have you seen that hilarious dude on TikTok who mocks people who create 'hacks' that are ten times more difficult than the OBVIOUS solution right in front of them? This guy. That is what Te is. The "DUH, just use a can opener" function. The "the damn solution is obvious" function. Regardless of its placement in the stack, it always shows up as ".... why do you complicate stuff unnecessarily when the solution is obvious?"

Being totally lost in your feelings all the time is also very feeling-dominant, more so than an ENFP who is lost in their fantasies all the time (their idealism, their forward thinking, their living in their mind in terms of seeing how things might play out and being invested in that fantasy, but then abandoning it and moving on to some other idea). ENFPs can even struggle to locate their feelings sometimes.

I have two sides in me - one wants to be a writer and be the best. The other want to live in a peaceful place with my fiancée, have a dog, make a living as a content writer (which I am for 5 years and love it, but I wish I have more energy and earn more). I know the second side is better, healthier and more realistic and I am taking that route, but it's hard to not think about the first one. I'm 31.

If you are taking the more realistic second route, it might indicate ESFJ since they are more aware of practicality and being "normal" than ENFPs, who tend to live less conventional lifestyles.

Could you tell me how creativity looks in ESFJ and ENFP if they are self-pres 2w1 216 tritype?

ENFPs who are creative prioritize that as their highest goal, since they see the world in terms of sharing ideas and dialogue; they want to provoke change in the world, inspire people, and reach them through what they write, and many of them assume that they are going to get rich and famous doing this, but they have no idea about traditional publishing models and no patience for the "slow path." They just want to get their stuff out there. An ENFP 2 is going to be people/love/service oriented, but still feel a strong need and desire to follow their Fi need to be creative.

ESFJs on the other hand struggle a lot to let go of their sense of obligation to others and their feelings and to carve out time to be creative when it interferes with their connection to loved ones. It's fairly normal for ESFJ writers to love writing, but to find that "life" takes over for them, and so they don't do it for long periods of time while taking care of their kids / responsibilities, and then once that's all done, they can ease back into it. They are so bound to the needs and desires of others, it's difficult for them to justify carving out alone time to work on a novel.

I talk about how each type writes fiction (the thought process that it involves) in my book, so maybe you would find that insightful. :) It's called 16 Kinds of Crazy and you can find out more information about it on funkymbti.com.

[emelkae]

Hey Emel, nice meeting you, I got a weird timing question for you. I have been reading through your novel tag - it's so amazing it's published btw - and I would like to ask, what's the story behind this story? How did you come up with it? How was writing it? What are the plans with the sequels? What are your favourite kind of scenes to write - I'm seeing hurt/comfort, siblings and brothers which are my fave things ever so I'm squalling - in short: what kind of writer are you? I wanna know

@writingonesdreams

Thank you so much 😊 That makes me remember that I should've tagged more stuff honestly lol, I have so much Wannabe content

This answer ended up loooong, so I'm putting it under a cut:

The War Machines series started as an AU fic idea. It turns out that if you keep asking "what if," scramble up traits, change dynamics, and add new goals and new characters, you're gonna end up with whole novel full of OCs. Or... a trilogy of novels. I'm happy that my little AU scene got so wildly out of hand.

I could easily write the prequel to Wannabe now, but the sequel (Warrior) was giving me a ton of trouble. I recently figured out why:

I write best out of order; the first scene I wrote in Wannabe ended up in chapter nine I think. For Warrior, I was trying to start at chapter one and placing loads of importance on it, then writing myself into corners and having to scrap my draft over and over and over and over. I'm going to start writing the scenes I want to first and then filling in extra stuff the way I did with book one.

The goal I had in mind for the characters in Wannabe was "how can I get the Machines to realize how deep their bond is/how can I heal them?" But the goal for Warrior was literally "what sort of painful stuff can I put these characters through to make them develop" and that ended up dragging the tone down a LOT, obviously. So I need to keep in mind that even though there are some heavy topics they have to deal with, this series is ultimately about love.

I was overthinking character arcs and motivations. Instead of coming up with something external for them to deal with and letting the internal changes happen naturally, I was coming up with internal changes first and then forcing situations that would make them change the way I wanted them to. Basically, I was treating my characters like tools or puppets instead of letting them grow organically, and then not understanding why every plot point and interaction seemed so stilted. So now I'm just gonna Put Those Boys in Situations and let them tell me how they're feeling.

Even if none of the 100k+ words in my scrapped drafts end up making it into Warrior, I don't see the time as wasted at all. I've learned so, so much more about writing in the past year alone than I've learned from every class or book on writing I've ever taken/read.

I really really like writing angst and whump hehe, but I tend to get heavy-handed with the Angst Hammer in my original stuff. I think it's pretty easy to write character development that way. While there are angsty parts in Wannabe for sure, there's also fluff and a ton of bonding in between crazy action scenes. I especially love subverting romance tropes to make them platonic, hopefully adding a depth to Found Family outside of "these people are around each other a lot."

I can't mention the War Machines series without also mentioning @avrablake. Avra was honestly the reason I ended up learning so much. She has this incredible knack for offering feedback and criticism in a way that ends up feeling so encouraging, and she always gets me to think deeper about my plot and characters than I could on my own. I am truly grateful for the time she's spent on helping me through the best and worst of my ideas.

I'm about to start trying to write my sequel again. I have a few scene ideas and I'm itching to play around with them :)

[moonsugar-and-spice]

Apologies for another ask-

Any advice on getting started on just.. writing? I'm only somewhat skilled in script writing and for the life of me just can't figure out how to do fic kind of writing or what you call it. Descriptions or anything like really are so hard for me, and when I've tried to write before it's come out way more plain than I'd like. I have so many ideas I wanna write but actually writing it? Yup nope

First off, no apologies needed! :) My inbox is always open.

As for advice on how to jumpstart the writing process. Honestly?

Just start. I know that might sound unhelpful, but really. Start out with the scene you’ve been most excited about, or wherever inspiration beckons loudest. It doesn’t have to be at the beginning. You can always go back and fill in the gaps later, but this is the best way I’ve found to get the words to start flowing. There is no rule that says you have to write linearly; in fact, I would encourage you to write out of order if it gets a scene onto the page. Several published authors I follow do this, actually. Of course, everyone’s process will vary, and you absolutely have to do whatever works best for you.

You may find it helpful to set a daily word count goal. Don't strive for anything crazy if it feels overwhelming. Setting smaller, achievable goals when starting any new habit will help you succeed. Aim even for just 100 words to start, and treat it like a game. Just show up. If you miss the mark one day, no sweat, try again the next. But having a goal in mind may help you get started.

Also, allow yourself to write badly. I am talking as much to myself here as anyone, as this is not always easy for me. I’ve always struggled with perfectionism (something I have been working hard lately to overcome). But the fact is, perfection is an illusion. It is unattainable, if for the sole fact that it is subjective and one person’s perfect is another’s so-so. We all have this glowing and beautiful vision of the story in our heads, but often the moment we sit down to render it into words it turns to dust or ends up this disappointing, gray caricature of our idea.  Even the best writers usually don’t crank out a perfectly polished chapter in one go. If you have a section you think is of particularly low quality, make a note of it in brackets, but keep writing. There will be time to edit later, but sometimes you just have to get the words down on the page, and that can be messy. I would also encourage you to let your draft sit for a few days once it’s done. You will come back to it with new eyes and a fresh perspective.

On the topic of that wonderful version of our story in our heads vs. the one that seems to fall short when we write it: The best advice I can give on how to improve descriptive writing is to read. A lot. If you want to be a good writer, you have to be a reader first. Read everything – novels, short stories, poetry, all kinds of genres – and study what makes each piece work. Take note of the author’s unique voice and what you do or don’t like about their style. Note down any descriptive phrases or prose that stand out to you, and how you might utilize that technique in your own writing. And then, practice. Practice is the best and only way to really improve, and you absolutely will! Just be patient with yourself along the way, try not to compare yourself to others, and remember that your favorite authors didn’t come out of the womb writing like that. We all start somewhere.

There are and will be times we hit a dry spell, and no matter how we strive, it seems the words simply refuse to come. It happens to everyone, writer and artists alike. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hit a pothole and felt like I’ve forgotten how to write, or I re-read my own writing and think, “Man, I wish I could write like that.” But creativity ebbs and flows. It’s normal and part of the process. Rather than get discouraged, or try to force it and get frustrated, I use those times to refill my creative bucket with other things: read a new (or old favorite) book, play video games, do art, go out for a walk, listen to music, etc. Eventually, inspiration will find you again and the words will return.

I hope some of this advice was helpful. 🙂 Best of luck! Throwing some writing dust your way!

[fycarmensandiego]

A chat with author Melissa Wiley

In 1996, HarperCollins published six Carmen Sandiego chapter books, featuring VILE villains from the then-current "Deluxe"/"CD-ROM"/"Classic" generation of computer games and a new lineup of Acme agents, headed by a Black female Chief (Lynne Thigpen ha impact), and focusing on kid detectives Maya and Ben.

The series included two books each by two writing teams and one solo act, Melissa Peterson. I got in touch with Melissa, who now uses the pen name Melissa Wiley, and she graciously answered some questions about writing the Carmen books and beyond.

To get you caught up to my knowledge before the interview, here's Melissa's website, and here's her bio as printed in the two Carmen books (accompanied by the caricature above):

Melissa Peterson is the author of several books for young readers. Born in Alamogordo, New Mexico, she has lived in eight different states and visited Germany and France. She has never ridden a dolphin, but she did eat a great deal of sour cherry ice cream outside the cathedral in Cologne. [Note: These are both references to plot points in Hasta la Vista, Blarney.] Her research for Hasta la Vista, Blarney included many hours playing Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? An official ACME Master Detective, she lives in New York City with her husband and young daughter.

FYCS: Thanks so much for agreeing to this interview.

Melissa Wiley: What a fun blast from the past! The Carmen books were my first professional writing gig and I had so much fun working on them.

That's so exciting to hear! With that being the case, how did you get involved with the books?

I was an assistant editor at HarperCollins, working for the wonderful Stephanie Spinner. I started out as her editorial assistant at Random House right after grad school and moved to Harper with her a year later, shortly after [my husband] Scott and I got married. Stephanie knew that I wanted to be a writer, and she often sent in-house writing assignments my way (lots of cover copy). When I left Harper in 1995 to have a baby, Stephanie recommended me for several book assignments, including the two Carmen Sandiego novels. That project had been underway for several months—Harper was doing a tie-in with the game and TV show. There were six books in total; two were assigned to me and four went to other writing teams [Ellen Weiss and Mel Friedman, and Bonnie Bader and Tracey West]. I often joke that I got my first modem, my first baby, and my first book deal in the same month!

I loved working with my Carmen Sandiego editor, Kris Gilson. The two books were a blast to write and a great learning opportunity for me. Ellen Weiss remains a good friend of mine. She's a true gem of a person!

Have your experiences writing the Carmen books influenced your work since then?

With Carmen, I discovered how much I love writing humor. Before that (in grad school), my poems and stories were on the serious side. I had so much fun with the playful, sometimes goofy tone of the Carmen Sandiego books that I definitely shifted afterward to more of a focus on humor in my books. I still find writing from a place of playfulness to be my most satisfying kind of work.

Were you familiar with Carmen Sandiego before writing the books?

I loved the computer game! I'd seen several episodes of the show—it's all a bit blurry now and hard to say which I encountered first—and really enjoyed it, but I especially loved the game. Instant classic!

How much guidance did you receive from HarperCollins / Brøderbund? Were the plots your own, or were you given plot outlines?

We were given the basic descriptions for the two kid detectives, and I had a couple of meetings with the editors and the other writers to flesh out the characters a bit more—give them personalities. I don't think Mel was in the meetings, but Ellen was there, and Tracey and Bonnie.

Then I wrote outlines for my two books and the other writers outlined theirs. I was assigned one "Where in the World" mystery and one "Where in Time" mystery. I think I submitted several plot ideas for each—the big challenge was thinking up interesting objects for Carmen and her henchmen to steal. The Blarney Stone and cocoa beans were my favorite ideas and I was thrilled that they got picked!

How did you research the books?

Those were AOL days, and the web wasn't yet a place for intensive research, so I spent a lot of time in the library. For The Cocoa Commotion, I conducted phone interviews with staff members at the Hershey chocolate factory—lots of fun. But I never did get to visit the Blarney Stone!

What was your favorite part of working on the books?

Researching the history of chocolate! Naturally I had to do a lot of sampling in order to describe it properly. ;)

Your author bio in the books mentions that the scene in which Maya and Ben eat sour cherry ice cream in Cologne, Germany was inspired by an actual experience of yours. Did any other experiences of yours make it into the books? Have you had any other travel experiences that notable? (Note: I'm originally from Northern Michigan, so travel experiences involving tart cherries are a high bar to clear for me.)

Ohhh, that sour cherry ice cream! I hope I get to taste it again someday. Apart from eating a lot of chocolate, I can't remember any other personal experiences that informed the books. If I were to write one today, I'd make sure to set a scene in Barcelona. My husband and I spent a week there in 2008 and it was an incredible trip. The paella! The Gaudí buildings! Art on every corner! I'd love to go back someday.

The bio also features a caricature of you with your baby daughter...

That drawing was made by the brilliant comic book artist Rick Burchett, who was working with Scott on Batman comics at the time. Scott was an editor at DC Comics and Rick was one of his favorite artists to work with. When I needed a bio illustration for the Carmen Sandiego books, we commissioned Rick to draw it. I love that piece so much! The baby is my oldest, Kate, who was born right around the time I started working on the books. We still have the original art!

You've written over 20 children's books for a variety of ages, in a variety of genres. Do you have any favorites among them?

That's so hard to say—I'm fond of all of them and I dearly loved creating worlds and adventures for Charlotte and Martha in my Little House prequels—but The Prairie Thief and The Nerviest Girl in the World are extra-special to me. I grew up in Aurora, Colorado and had a summer job at a wildlife refuge on the prairie, a landscape that served as the setting for Prairie Thief. I loved getting to weave secrets into the prairie setting that means so much to me.

Your most recent book, The Nerviest Girl in the World, was published last August. Can you tell us a bit about why you wrote it?

I lived for 11 years in La Mesa, California, a small town just outside San Diego. While I was there, I learned that in the very early days of silent film, there had been a film studio in town. Eventually the studio moved to Santa Barbara, but it was exciting to discover that before Hollywood was the center of the American film industry, little old La Mesa was a moviemaking place. I began reading everything I could find about the studio, and when I learned that many of the cowboys in those early Westerns were real cowboys and ranchers, an idea for a book began to take shape—the story of an adventurous girl who stumbled into work as a daredevil film actress along with her cowboy brothers.

Of course, I'm legally compelled to ask the question that literally every interview currently includes: how has the pandemic changed your job?

LOL! Yes, it's the question right now, isn't it! Well, I've worked at home since the Carmen Sandiego days, and I homeschool my kids, so in the biggest ways our lives weren't hugely affected by the shutdown. But I used to do a lot of my writing in cafés, and I miss that like crazy! I had to think up all sorts of new strategies for staying focused at home this past year. I'm hoping to get back to the coffee shops this summer!

Something I found really interesting is that you have a Patreon, which you explain you started to help pay for medical bills. How has that experience affected your work as an author?

I've played with lots of kinds of content on Patreon and really enjoy having a space to share behind-the-scenes stories. It's a more intimate and personal space than social media, so I feel free to let my hair down and be really frank.

Thanks so much for these fantastic questions! I had so much fun reminiscing about the Carmen Sandiego adventure!

[cherrymoonxx]

Hello! I loved the idea of the muse reading! I like to daydream about living something very out of a fantasy book: i'm living my normal life and out of nowhere i found myself in a alternative universe where things are so beautiful and magical (yes, i love some escapism 😿) and there's new stuff to discover every second. Hope that didn't sound too crazy 😅 Thank you so muchh for your time <3 - Giovana

Hey Giovana! I’m glad you like the topic of the reading! And omg I totally get what you mean. Wouldn’t it be nice if life was like a fantasy novel? I mean things are always so much more interesting in those kinds of novels than in actual real life. You don’t sound crazy at all so don’t worry!

Ooo okay so this is what I’m thinking. I think you’d be a writer’s muse. The scenario I’m getting is maybe you’d be that one person that this writer loved so deeply that they will never be able to forget. You were their one true love, but unfortunately, things between you two didn’t work out. So I’m seeing that in order to have some part of you stay with them forever, they’d create wonderful stories in which the main character always has some kind of characteristic that reminds them of you. So let’s say, in one story, the main character would be someone who is outspoken and a bit stubborn. They’d be a character that people admire because of how strong they are. But in another story, the main character would embody the softer characteristics that you have. Like maybe, they’d really love reading a book in front of the window while the rain rhythmically pours outside. Or maybe a character of theirs would like the same shows you like or have the same favorite food as you. Little details like this would most definitely be included in their works. You are always an inspiration in their writing, even if you guys aren’t together. You’d be the one that leaves such a big imprint on their life that they’d unconsciously incorporate some of your characteristics into their characters.

And maybe one day, they’d stray from writing fictional stories and try something new. Maybe for their last published work, they’d write a book of poems dedicated to you. And on the last page, they’d write a letter addressed to you. And it’d be soo beautiful and heartwarming that it’s almost feels too intimate for anyone else to be reading. But here, they explain how they could never stop loving you. Until their dying breath, they would forever consider you their muse. Their purpose. And the light that guides them in the dark. It’s really sweet and kind of sad as well. Because they know they’d never love someone as much as they love you.

Aww man that was really bittersweet. But I do think that’s how you’d be seen. I feel like you’d be the one that got away. And the artist would just regret ever letting you go because they love you so profoundly that they’ll never be able to forget about you.

I hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know what you think. And thanks for participating!

Take care💗

[frogsandfries]

I think I'm managing my projects pretty well. For this interim project that I'm planning on the event I ever finish my current graphic novel, I wanted to use existing text from an existing book. So I better pick a book (or two) that are in public domain.

I was thinking a junk journal as my project bible--y'know, design characters and monsters and creatures, and figure out the story. But then I was thinking, why just the project bible, why not the whole project as a junk journal? So I'm starting with material gathering and organization, collecting the books that I want to use, creating the "stickers" I want to put into my digital junk journal. I'll probably need to create like, sticky notes to put over pages that I want to write on, and other such paraphernalia.

In a previous post, I was complaining that it feels like I don't have time for a second project, but if I don't want people wondering if I just fell off the face of the planet, I need to have a really solid idea of the next story that I want to do, at least a really solid script, if not some thumbnails.

At easily ten to twelve hours a day on my current graphic novel, I really am working at full steam, balancing my time between compiling my notes as neatly as possible, working ahead on lineworks, and coloring. I can definitely make time to goof around with something else on the occasional evening. Right now feels like the making of the junk journal, tearing up the old books, collecting my stickers and tapes and other ephemera. I'm getting ready to make the raw sketchbook. It's kinda fun in a goofoff kinda way. I don't even know how big the sketchbook needs to be yet, but luckily, it would be easy to expand it. I'm not even positive how I'm going to tell the story. It's such a completely different flavor and style than my current project.

Speaking of the current project, I think for the sake of publishing and purchasing, I think I need to figure out a new layout. But I obviously don't want to do it right now. I'm thinking about whether I want to do it for issue zero or if I can just do it from here on. I'm not even positive what kind of new layout I should use, I just think I could potentially fit more art into fewer pages.

Should I maybe skip this narrative? It bothers me that I don't have any of the original writing that I did, so all I have is my memory about the story. It bothers me that all I can remember is the rather juvenile premise of a child being allowed to explore relatively unexplored caves by herself, or with her younger friend; and the crazy old guardian, and somehow coming out in the future and getting shuttled off to another planet and somehow they get back to this planet.

I like the idea that I pulled out of this tangle, but I'm just not sure it's my style, necessarily. I can't think of how to........ express enough details for an audience.

Maybe I should just skip straight to the next part of Kitty's story. It would be a natural next step in my portfolio. I can always figure out another use for the junk journal idea.....

Besides, the only reason I would tell this other story is literally for the story that it gives rise to, and that wasn't enough of a story to make anything out of either. Maybe these childish stories should stay in my childhood......

[youdajiji]

1. Reunion

Yongsun loved going by her English name - Solar. That was a cool name. Just like herself. She ran a Youtube channel called Solarsido with a few hundred thousands of subscribers, those who liked videos of her experience. Sometimes Yongsun would call for input from me and the other two house mates. But most of the time, my ideas were ignored. 

"Your idea is ok but spending 4 hours working on meditation painting is a bit... too popular, don't you think so? I need something energetic and unique."

Yongsun circled my idea with a Sharpie on an A0-sized paper which was already full of text. Had she not want to let me down, she would have strike through my idea of making meditation painting. 

"Unique?" - Hyejin crawled on the bed speaking up with her husky voice - "It's difficult, unnie. You have done quite a few unique things." 

Hyejin concluded her statement with a yawning. She was the same age as me, and was a real workaholic as except for her main job as a wedding planner, she took on some part time jobs. That's why at home, Hyejin usually appeared lazy - she had used up all her energy at work.

"Recent trend is about doing common stuff, of course with attractive storytelling, I think so."

Byul Yi spoke up next to me. She was the second oldest in the house, yet the most mature and calm. Byul Yi liked it logical, so she wanted to research and back things up before making a statement. I bet she had just spoken up after going through no less than 10 reports about trends.

"If that's the case" - Hyejin rose up from her place with a yoga pose - "How about living a day as Wheeinie? Her life is the most normal among us, right?"

I shot her a glance askew. She must be mocking at me. But Yongsun, on the other hand, found it interesting. She thumbed up at Hyejin.

"DJing a radio program sounds great Hyejin ah. That's quite different from my channel's vibe."

I pouted. Excuse me, who had just "criticized" that my idea lacks of energy?

"But Wheein ah" - Byul Yi glances at me - "Does Yongsun need approval or something?"

I shook my head.

"They are quite easy. You just need to do your job well as I have already settled the script."

"So" - Yongsun's face brightened - "Tomorrow, right?"

"Up to you. I just need to give them a call. Lucky you that I really want a day-off."

I was dreaming of a chilling Friday, relaxing with a cup of mocha and spending time on my ongoing novel which I would never have the chance to get it published. But the dream had been extinguished. Totally.

"No no no" - Yongsun shook her head and grabbed her phone. She had tons of things to do every week so her schedule was full of notes - "I have class tomorrow at the center for the disabled."

I rolled my eyes and let out an exhale while the other three exchanged a laugh at each other.

***

"Long time no see, Wheeinie!"

The director of Pyeong Hwa center for the disabled welcomed me with a happy smile. She spoke to me but her words were followed by sign language.

"Ah, yes. Solar unnie is busy so I will help her out today."

"That's more than awesome." - The director showed me the way - "The members will be so glad to see you again."

Sure. Because I was the one who introduced Yongsun here. I worked as a volunteer here from my freshman year until about 1 year ago - when my job started to keep me busy. Back then, Yongsun was looking for experience for her newly opened channel so I brought her here. It turned out Yongsun liked this place so much that she kept on teaching piano here even though I left the center after that.

And now I was back to the place I used to be so familiar with. The old piano was still there - Yongsun told me that it was the biggest evidence of resilience - and I could recognize some familiat faces who I had taught before. They were all muted - innate or by diseases but that didn't stop their love for music.

"Oh gosh, Soyoonie ah!"

I almost cried when a 15 year old girl ran to hug me. I hugged her back and looked around, people were all smiling and signaling to me, things like:

"Welcome back!"

"I thought you've gone forever."

"Stay for lunch, ok?"

I replied them with smile. And with the sign language they were using, I told them with seriousness.

"Let's focus on today's lesson first!"

I sat down at the piano and played a few notes. The piano sound brought me back to my youthful days when I spent the majority of my time with these people, disabled yet still positive. When I first came here, I - the freshman who was about to go crazy with my workload at university and a hopeless unrequitted crush - only wanted to find a healing place. But things didn't go well at first. I had thought I had the wrong choice as I struggled a lot with communicating with them. Luckily, I got exposed to sign language. And this language, however difficult it might seem, turned out to be so attractive to me. Perhaps I liked the silence in this means of communication - Hah!

The challenging days of learning to understand and getting myself understood gradually passed by and I was finally capable of communicating with sign language to teach them music until the day I left.

 And right at the moment, the person that brought me to sign language was standing at the threshold, smiling brightly.

"Look" - I read the sign from him - "Whee-pup is back!"

Hyojin was only one year older than me but he had been working here since high school - a few years earlier than I did. We were quite close after nearly 5 years working together on multiple activities for the center, from piano to painting and even dancing. As Hyojin was still here, I felt more welcomed coming back, despite being nagged at once we meet.  

"Hey, why do you keep getting thinner everytime I see you?"

Years working here had taught me to get used to Hyojin's nagging. I would be worried if he did not spend a day without nagging about someone or something. 

"Geez, and you are getting chubbier, my Deer!"

Hyojin usually callsed me Pup and I called him Deer - the old Deer. But he was an old man for his nagging; except for that and the chubbier cheeks, the 27-year-old Hyojin was not much different from the 22-year-old Hyojin when we first met. 

I comfortably adjusted my seat on the ergonomic chair in Hyojin's own office - now he was the operation manager at the center, such a prestigious reward for his never-ending contribution - and drink the mocha Hyojin bought at the canteen, along with a bunch of snacks. I bet that was the reason for Hyojin's gaining weight lately.

"If I say that gaining weight is gaining more energy for work, you'll take it as making an excuse." - Hyojin shrugslged and opened a pack of potato chips. Putting a piece into his mouth, Hyojin smiled at me - "But why are you here today? You didn't inform me for a proper welcome."

I stuck out my tongue. That action has two meanings. First, I had totally forgotten informing Hyojin. If I told him that it was due to urgency, he would take it as making an excuse. And second... what kind of welcome? He was just joking. 

"Yongsun unnie is busy. I just help her out on my annual leave."

"So" - Hyojin raised his eyebrows sarcastically - "Had Yongsun noona not been busy, you would never have thought of paying me a visit, right?"

I smiled crookedly at those burning words from Hyojin. Right, if it hadn't been for Hyejin's unconventional idea, I would never thought of coming back here. Busy work, that's the only reason. Also due to a hectic life, I and Hyojin had gradually grown apart, no longer as close-knitted like when we were in the same volunteer team. However, deep down inside, I believed Hyojin still remembers our purpose.

"Do you still remember my goal back then?" - I shook my plastic cup of coffee and the ice cubes inside make cracking sounds. - "About becoming more sociable?"

"Yup" - Hyojin looked serious - "I do. I have been joking so far. We are both making effort right?"

Hey, had I mentioned that we became close because we both had mental problem back then and went to the center for the disabled to widen our network as well as to be more active, more sociable as a cure? After all those time, Hyojin had made much more progress than I did. Not only had he became a manager at the center, but he also learned to become a coach to assist people. I was, meanwhile, at a slower pace. I only opened my heart for a limited number of people and chose to do something that only required my individual effort to refrain from bothering others.  

"So" - My voice trailed off - "I haven't visited you because I am busy working on that and..."

"Come on Whee-pup" - Hyojin interrupted me and leaned over to throw the empty pack of chips to the garbage bin in the corner of the office. - "I did not ask you to explain. I'm happy because you're getting brighter days after days."

Suddenly, Hyojin exclaimed as if he recalled something.

"And by the way, I did listen to your radio."

My eyes widened.

"How come? It's internal radio."

"Ah" - Hyojin scratched his red hair - "The Earth is round. There was your colleague in my coaching class. I asked him if he knew Whee-pup..."

"How come that person knew if you mentioned Pup?"

I pouted. But Hyojin just smiled and corrected himself.

"Ah no, I asked if he knew" - Hyojin intentionally stressed on each word - "MC Jung Wheein. He said that you were very well known in the company. So" - Hyojin shrugged with pride - "As Jung Wheein's close brother, I asked him to share me a sample session of your program."

"And what do you think of it?"

I raised my chin. It just made Hyojin laugh harder as it had been a while I did not ask him anything. I was originally not a decisive person; hence, I tended to ask my close friends for advice and Hyojin was among my top priority for to-go people.

"Surprised  of course." - Hyojin, again, scratched his head. Had I ever mentioned that Hyojin looked best with red hair? - "Because you produce everything. At first I did not believe but your colleague assured me. That is... how to say... quite impressive."

My grin got bigger. But Hyojin did not let my pride last for long as he concluded:

"But perhaps I found it impressive because I have not heard from you for a while, right?"

I stood up and leansled over to his place, grabbed his shoulders and shook as hard as I could.

"Shut up Kim Hyojin! I knew you've been joking around!"

Both of us bursted out laughing. No matter how long we hadn't seen each other, we were goofing around as if we were still in those youthful days 5 years ago!

[winterofherdiscontent]

Hi! Um... first: I love your art. I'm thinking to study graphic design, and I will at the end of this month, in fact. I'm 20, and I'd like to know your experience as illustrator. I'm nervous. But I've come for advice. I know that this can be a little personal and not the regular ask... but when I look your works, I feel like... something indescribable, and you really inspire me to go on. What did you study? How is it? How is the life? Is it very hard? I'm chilean and I'd like to be this later...

hello! 

i hope it’s ok i’m answering this publicly as i often receive asks similar to this and i never quite know how to reply – so i’m going to share a little bit of my personal journey in becoming a freelance illustrator: 

first off - i am completely self-taught. my journey as an illustrator started off on a very different foot to most i’m guessing because it started with a dream. an actual dream… i started my adult working life as a librarian but shortly into that my health deteriorated rapidly, without warning and with no visible easy explanation and i had no idea what was going on. i was misdiagnosed with simple work stress by a doctor at the time (not actually what was wrong physically it turned out years later) and this caused me to stop my career as a librarian – it was at this same time i had a dream about a tree. 

it was one of those dreams that are incredibly vivid, haunting and the kind that stay with you long after you wake up. i had this same dream over and over for months. this tree i still can’t completely do justice to describing. it was immense. it was beyond immense - in the dream i couldn’t even begin to fathom where it started or ended. it was that huge. the dream didn’t go away and i started doodling on bits of paper with a regular office pen. i felt like i needed to get this tree in some way on a physical surface. i moved onto colored pencils. the results were… very much not good. i then started to try watercolors …i had literally no idea what i was doing and it was a lot of fun and simultaneously one of the most stressful learning curves i’ve ever put myself through but so worth it. there was this feeling. this something inside me that kept pushing me to draw even while i was in pain. drawing and painting started to become a form of almost meditation for me. i started having more dreams. vivid surreal almost fairy tale style dreams. 

i couldn’t at the time find any local classes teaching the type of art i wanted to learn. basically, long story short i went online and started using my history degree to study the art styles of older time periods. i started researching artists i admired. i looked through my collection of children’s fairy tales and illustrated early 20th century children’s stories. i discovered the work of arthur rackham and kay nielsen, i went to the 1970s science fantasy novels i hoarded from old bookstores. i discovered the work of frank frazetta, brian froud and yoshitaka amano – i realized i wanted to draw like these artists. so i started researching some more. 

i won’t go into the actual monotonous specifics of the day to day journey of my teaching myself how i create art. what i will do is share with you some more general things i’ve discovered through trial and error that will hopefully be helpful 

(below the cut because this got long) – 

i) use references. seriously …many famous artists have used live models historically for a reason. look up local life drawing classes in your area if you’ve not already. if they are available and in your budget (if not free) great! if not go outside and draw from life. what is it you’re drawn to around you? focus on that. i take a sketchbook with me everywhere i go these days. alternatively use a mirror and focus on the way your body sits or stands. how do you want that pose to look? go and look at how your body positions itself in front of a mirror 

ii) you are unique. how your mind views the sensory input around you is different to literally every other person you will meet. how you draw whether a beginner or an advance artist is completely unique so when starting out on this path do yourself a favor - don’t simply try to copy art you like. look at it. enjoy it. focus on trying to figure out exactly what it is you’re drawn to in that artists work. then go and practice your own interpretation of that subject matter. don’t publish the results. learn from them. if you simply copy another artists work you are picking up their weaknesses as well as doing nothing more than portraying a version of someone else’s way of looking at the world rather than your own 

iii) practice. its a cliche for a reason. when you’re a beginner illustrator you will spend countless hours drawing. feeling like you are getting nowhere. your art style takes time and practice. drawing that hand the way you want takes time. it takes endless mistakes before you start to realize what it is you are doing wrong and start to spot the mistakes. practice speed sketching. draw the flow not the static rigid lines. again - look at things and spot the flow of movement. you will get better. trust me. the more you look the better you will get at seeing the rhythm of the character and composition of the subject matter 

iv) art school? yes or no? …i never went to an art class in my life. i made up the rules as i went. i made so many mistakes. i had crazy 3am breakthroughs realizing techniques that are unique to how i create art. school is not for everyone. however it is for some an absolute essential tool in their journey - so try it and see! whats the worst that could happen? …like anything in life there’s no “one size fits all” learning path that fits everyone. one thing art school can give you is networking. it can give you discipline. connections for future jobs. opening pathways to future work opportunities 

v) freelance illustration. it’s definitely not for everyone. on the plus side you can work on that commissioned job with unwashed hair piled on your head. 5 empty coffee cups next to you in your pajamas and no one will judge you except your pets. on the minus side it is not an automatically guaranteed easy or steady income. if you can supplement your freelance income from art with other jobs do it. don’t go into this thinking you will magically overnight build up a loyal client base. this takes time. it takes effort. putting yourself out there online and in person. networking. building up a friendship with artists online and in real life as you go out into the art world. put yourself out there. what’s the worst that can happen? the popular artist online you sent a hello to ignores you? its not the end of the world and more often than you’d think artists who are already established are awesome amazing and kind people who will take the time to answer your questions and talk to you. enter art contests and competitions. exposure is an invaluable tool 

vi) have fun …above all else keep reminding yourself why you’re drawn to this path and take time out to draw silly things. remind yourself regularly why you personally want to do this for a living. spend time drawing what you love not just commissioned jobs and work related art content 

vii) if you go the path of freelance illustrator then make sure you set up a clear and concise set of guidelines for clients. be approachable but be clear on what and how you go about your process when being commissioned for big or small jobs. be consistent. be transparent in how you conduct yourself with clients. be clear in your communication. don’t be a push over. set yourself do-able goals with commissioned work. don’t take on too much at any one time - give yourself a structure you know going into it you will stick to from the beginning. if in doubt research online and look at what  artists you admire have in their ‘f. a. q’ section - look at these as templates of what will and won’t work for you personally 

i know i’ve forgotten a million topics that are all relevant to your question, lovely …these are more in the way of a few general guidelines of what i’ve personally experienced in becoming a freelance illustrator ♥