#i have a habit of assuming people have knowledge of something

[turkeyinnovember]

lab rats pt1

By the time Curt woke up, he found his spine aching from being left on the couch for… Damn, God knows how long. He blinked off the haziness and let himself roll off the couch, barely catching himself on the carpet with his knees. 

An elbow that landed on the coffee table hit something- a glass. The water inside splashed out and soaked his sleeve. He didn’t have a habit of keeping water on the table, though at the same time he didn’t have a habit of sleeping on the couch. 

He reached for the water, ignoring the neon sticky note on the backside while he drank, the faint taste of dust prompting him to question just how long he had been out for. With the cold water setting in his system and his mind clearing up, he was left with no choice but to recall what he’d done moments, hours, or even days ago. Curt pursed his lips and spun the glass around to read what he expected to be — and is — an uncomfortable reminder of what he does. 

‘thank you agent for your hard work, the subjects have been successfully detained. meet in 304’

Curt could almost snicker at where the director had run out of space to write and had to squish the letters together, but he didn’t have the heart to. Or maybe he was still woozy from the sedative. It wouldn’t make sense for him to feel bad for them. 

Regardless, it’d be a good idea to do as he’s told. 

But something… He whipped his head around to stare at the camera in the corner, almost visualizing it flash red. He finally gave up after it remained motionless, though he promised to himself that he’d get someone to remove the camera. 

---------------

After so long of being under disguise, dressing back in the suit felt almost strange to him. But, almost ironically, that foreignness was more familiar to him with the frequency of his missions— they weren’t a big organization.

Still, the halls of the building were familiar to him, the near manic look of the research team was just as before he left, and that corner with the scratched wall was familiar. He’d been here since he was a teenager and this is his home, he reminded himself as he pushed open the door to 304. 

There she was. 

She’d transformed the security room into a livable space, insisting on monitoring the entire building by herself. Only rarely does she ever leave to physically direct important processions. Perhaps she didn’t trust many people, perhaps she just liked being in control. 

Curt would hate to have to admit that he was at least a little afraid of her, it was especially ironic after growing up together and creating this entire scheme. Maybe distance was put between them the second she assumed her position as the lead of the organization and head researcher, and he was technically just an employee of hers. Maybe he was even viewed as more a pawn than anything else. 

Even though this started as their project and he didn’t care any less than she did. 

“How was the sleep, Sleeping Beauty?” 

Damn, well, he’s been in here for less than two seconds and he already wants to leave. “Not bad, considering I’ve been sleeping for three days.”

“Yeah, we extended the dosage a little.” She waved her hand dismissively, “I wanted to make sure they were the first things you’d see!” 

He stepped forward with the invitation, glancing over her shoulder at the security screen and cringing despite fully expecting to see the four. They were still out cold, tossed over the floor without much care despite bunk beds prepared for them. He wasn’t sure why that ticked him, it was expected for the personnel to treat them like this. The four no longer wore the clothes he last saw them in — now a uniformed, prisoner-like outfit — and they were decked out with sedative collars and location tracking bracelets. He recognize those and even assisted in the production. 

“It took a bit of time, you know,” She watched the still screen with unreasonable interest. She glanced at him, only then realizing that he wasn’t settled and dragged out a chair for him. “Oh come on Curt, sit down. …it was hard to run all the tests within the time the first dose could provide us, so we had to extend it. Don’t take it to heart.”

“Well, thank you then.”

She ignored the taunting tone and continued, “Not that we don’t trust you, I mean. Of course we recognize your ability to locate and rule out those who are and aren’t serpents, you are exceptional in your skill with a three out of four accuracy, yes, but after nearly eight months all you gave us was that you limited it down to these four.” 

Suddenly, she spun to face him. The grin at her lips now dragged out into a snarl and her eyes narrowed. “And what was that shit with using your birth name?” 

“I don’t recall any policy against it,” Curt rolled his eyes, “I’ve told you I recognize one of them from college and it’d be easier that way. Besides, I didn’t think it concerned you.” 

“How does it not concern me?” She scowled, “You get caught by the police and were all gone! If you want to die, don't fucking drag me with you!” 

A figure on the screen moved and Curt immediately shushed her. It seemed confused, before scrambling to wake the others. 

She clicked her tongue and turned back, tweaking the focus and zoomed in while increasing the volume with her other hand. 

“This is..?” 

“Livestream, yeah.” 

The silence between them pursued with the two concentrated on the screen. As the volume increased and camera adjusted, the audio grew clear and every movement of the four was transferred onto the screen.

“Yo, what the fuck is this?” Christian hissed, glancing around the room. His chin had sprouted uneven bits of stubble and some of his hair fell out of the ponytail. He drummed a finger on the floor, radiating a mix of anxiety and irritation.

“Yeah Ivan,” Den tried to brush her bangs back, uncomfortable with the absence of her hat. “What’d you do this time?” 

“Why is it me?” The man replied half heartedly, glancing around the room and scratching anxiously at his new collar. “What kind of asylum did we get arrested to?”

“I feel like we kind of need one anyway,” Unlike the others, Kristine never even attempted to pick herself off the floor. She lay on the ground with an air of pessimism as she loosened her braid and picked out the wilted flowers. 

“Goddamn,” Ivan held a hand out, checking the dried petals after she dropped one there, “How long have we been here for?” 

Christian climbed up and walked towards the door further in the room while Den turned to the closer one. 

Curt watched the director hum to herself as she clicked a few buttons and another monitor lit up. He leaned back and saw Den poke her head into the bathroom and meet his eye — not literally, but through the camera —

“What the fuck, there’s a camera in the bathroom?!” 

For perhaps the first time since Curt was able to befriend her, they had enough — as Kristine would put it — physic bond to synchronize a sentence, though the conditions were strange. He would have believed the echo from the monitor was his imagination if it hadn’t been for the weird look the director shot him. 

“Unfortunately yes,” She sighed, “There’s vents and mirrors in the bathroom, you know? Can’t risk them trying anything when we’re so close.” 

He made no comment. 

“Yo, that’s kinda weird!” Ivan squeezed past her and climbed on the countertop to face the camera, saying something else that Curt didn’t quite catch with his attention now on Christian. 

He knew the guy had a fiery temper, though over the years he’d gotten much more reserved… supposedly. He shuddered at the strength he used to tug at the door handle. A moment passed when he finally relaxed and pressed his forehead to the door, eyes still glued to the door knob. He seemed to sigh and took a few steps back… Only to jump-kick the door instead. 

He’d worry more for the door if he hadn’t known how much money went into the quality and security of this place. 

Hearing the noise, Den and Ivan rushed to join the two by the front, while the director radioed a few commands to the armed forces waiting outside and connected her microphone. 

“Please refrain from attempting escape, subject seven.” She announced, the speaker captured their attention and the questions poured at once. 

It was the usual procedure. When he had time to stay in the foundation, he was often invited to watch the director negotiate with the subjects and personnel. So, he wasn’t sure why his heart suddenly surged with fear when she leaned into the microphone.

She seemed to know though. 

With the same hand, she switched off the microphone and turned to him, “How much do you want to tell them?” 

“Me?” 

It was rare for her to ask for his input. He didn’t really care what she told them, though there usually is a script for the information the subjects are allowed to have. She seemed to believe that her ideas are superior to all others and they’d only ruin her project. Although, Curt feels like he understood why his opinions matter now. 

He felt guilty.

As expected, she didn’t actually care about his answer and cleared her throat as soon as the four quieted down. “This is,” she glanced almost tauntingly at Curt, “Michelle speaking. I am the director of this organization…” 

He wasn’t ready and somehow she seemed to know that. He couldn’t have her telling them he was behind this and she seemed to know before he could. He wasn’t ready for them to know he betrayed them. 

Please, he almost whispered. But instead he just wrapped his hand around something behind him. It felt like a mug. 

“How about we let someone else tell you more details? Introducing my right hand man,” She turned, grinning at him. Curt stared back blankly as he adjusted his grip. He couldn’t control his face to make any expressions, or make verbal threats for fear of his voice getting caught on mic. His nerves felt as if they were hanging by a thread and he swore he’d kill her right there on the spot the second his name came out of her mouth. 

He blinked and decided to act first. 

Kicking off the chair, he dashed for the mic. Side-stepping Michelle while twisting his torso to face her, his left hand shot in front for the power switch and the right with the mug was raised high in the air, threatening to strike had she made any moves. 

He relaxed his shoulders the second he felt the switch flip, though the blood that rushed his ears muted the click he expected. He didn’t consider lowering the weapon as he protected the mic behind his back and glared at the woman. He could hear the four in the cell start to discuss the crashing sounds he had made, moving from the mic he muted the monitors. 

“What the fuck?” She cursed at him in some type of whisper-yell, though an almost humored smile was present in her tone. Curt hated that. She too, had pushed off her chair and stood up, causing Curt to tense again. Sensing this, she raised both of hands in the air and stepped back, “You’d go this far? I mean, they'll know eventually… Whether they guess it or I tell them.” 

“Shut up,” Curt huffed, he scrambled in his mind for a suitable, appropriate answer for this situation, but when it came up blank he just choked back plainly, “How about you just shut the fuck up? Alright?” 

Distracted, he failed to notice her shift in position as she lunged forward at him and kicked him to the floor. He coughed as he collided with the wires on the floor, allowing himself one second to stabilize before he climbed up and chucked the mug as hard as he could at her head. Expecting the projectile, Michelle moved at high speeds and threw the chair she sat on earlier at him while the mug missed her by a few inches and crashed into the wall.

“You’re cleaning this shit up.” He heard her say. 

“Shut up.” His ribs ached. 

He heard chairs being dragged and someone flopping onto it. “You are also going to be the one that tells them.”

“Why?” 

“Why they have to know? ‘Cause I hate you, and I want to see you suffer, Curtis.”

“Why do I feel bad for doing this, my job, why do I feel guilty?” 

“Why are you asking me, aren’t you in therapy?”

“What’s different about them? This hasn’t happened before.”

“You know what else hasn’t happened before? You using your real name.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Michelle.”

---------------

Subscript Notes:  i'll post this onto ao3 when i grammer check and revision and all that jazz also sorry for not being on tumblr more school's been so fucking busy im just draggin out and waiting for easter break at this point constructive criticism and stuff r welcomed btw final draft will be on ao3 anyway

[wonder-worker]

"[Elizabeth Woodville's] piety as queen seems to have been broadly conventional for a fifteenth-century royal, encompassing pilgrimages, membership of various fraternities, a particular devotion to her name saint, notable generosity to the Carthusians, and the foundation of a chantry at Westminster after her son was born there. ['On other occasions she supported planned religious foundations in London, […] made generous gifts to Eton College, and petitioned the pope to extend the circumstances in which indulgences could be acquired by observing the feast of the Visitation']. One possible indicator of a more personal, and more sophisticated, thread in her piety is a book of Hours of the Guardian Angel which Sutton and Visser-Fuchs have argued was commissioned for her, very possibly at her request."

-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: The Knight's Widow", Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, Dynasty

[bit-b]

About a trending Discord warning:

TL;DR: Discord is NOT making "Find your friends" enabled by default. You're probably not giving Discord your contact information without your knowledge. Their UI choices just suck.

There's a warning post going around by a person I'm not going to name, as I don't want people to dogpile on them. That is NOT the goal of this post, and if you DO harass anyone because of what I write, then you're a garbage person with garbage habits that needs to throw those habits in the garbage.

Rather, my goal with this post is to educate about a Discord feature that's not being represented properly.

-------------------------------------

Supposedly in the new mobile update, Discord added this ""NEW"" feature called "Find your friends", and then they enabled it by default. This feature allows users to use their smartphone contacts to search for their friends on Discord. It also enables others to be able to find you in the exact same way.

Obviously, this would be MASSIVELY dangerous from a privacy perspective.

Imagine if someone had relatives that use Discord. In a scenario like that, those relatives would have an easy way of finding the accounts of family members. And in some home situations, online anonymity from relatives could mean the difference between having an outlet and not having an outlet.

I'm also pretty sure I know some folks with alt accounts (you know who you are). And if Discord was somehow able to cross-reference all your contacts with the Discord accounts you're logged into, that would be DISASTROUSLY EMBARRASSING, to say the least.

So I totally understand how concerning this would be if it turned out to be true.

The thing is, it's not.

The person who made that warning misinterpreted THIS page:

This is the new "Add Friends" page for the Discord mobile app. Obviously, a page to help you add friends. There's a big 'ol window at the bottom showcasing Discord's "Find your friends" feature.

Now, this feature is actually NOT new. It's been around for a long time. But there's a very subtle change that happened with the new update. Take a look at how "Find your friends" used to look:

It starts by giving you a banner at the top of your friends list, telling you that this feature is available. Then when you click on it, it takes you to a page with UI elements that look awfully familiar.

It's pretty clear what happened. In an effort to condense down their friend-finding functions into one menu, Discord took the "Find your friends" setup menu and tossed it in with all the other ways to contact friends.

But by doing this, Discord has made this setup window confusing. It's not immediately obvious if the "Find your friends" feature is ON and running, or OFF and waiting to be activated.

Maybe it would have helped to make the blurple button read something like "Sync contacts" instead of "Find friends". At least then, you could tell at a glance that nothing has been sync'd yet. (Or y'know, maybe just stick to "Grant Permission". That was working just fine before.)

So it seems the OP:

Looked at the "Find your friends" setup menu that Discord hastily slapped into the "Add friends" page

Noticed the checkbox that read "Allow contacts to add me"

Saw that it was already marked

Then assumed that it must be some kind of tucked-away setting that was left ON by default.

To make this abundantly clear, "Find your friends" only works if you opt-in.

That checkmark allows you to tell Discord you are okay with people finding you in this manner. Unchecking it makes it possible to use "Find your friends" without others being able to find you the same way.

It doesn't get set up on your device until you press the big blurple "Find friends" button. Even then, you still have to add your phone number to your account and verify it via a 6-digit code sent via SMS.

After that, you have to give Discord permission to access your contacts via whatever phone OS you use.

You have to be pretty deliberate for any of these functions to start.

I won't say it's impossible to set it up on accident. It's a strange world, and stranger things have happened. If you want to, go check your app permissions to make sure you don't have contact permissions enabled for Discord. It's always good to be sure. But rest easy knowing that you probably don't have to worry about it.

-------------------------------------

In my opinion, I think that anyone who reblogged that warning should consider reversing those reblogs.

Honestly, I also think the OP should just delete their post instead of repeatedly adding amended reblogs to it. At the end of the day, the core of that post was misinformation and misguided assumptions. There's no real reason to keep it up.

Besides, I'd rather pin Discord on things they're ACTUALLY guilty of. Like designing a new UI that's widely mocked. And making things 10x more confusing for the end-user.

Here's Discord's official "Find your friends" FAQ page:

https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/360061878534-Find-Your-Friends-FAQ

I hate to beg, but I'd appreciate if people would reblog this post. I fear that the warning post is gonna steer a LOT of people to believe a lot of things about Discord that are logically and functionally not true.

[phas3d]

Can you do slytherin boys head canons with ravenclaw reader who info dumps randomly

You're Smart || Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

contains :: draco, tom, mattheo, theodore, lorenzo

summary :: you have a habit of saying fun facts and explaining everything in great detail while they listen - it's not super ravenclaw based but u can imagine it :) THANK U FOR REQUESTINGG RAAAHHHH - 🐍 :: masterlist!

DRACO MALFOY

Hated it at first since it felt like you were trying to on up him

Would start to research more topics on his own to make sure you can't one up him on it

Turns this into a competition that's completely one sided for no reason LMAO

Stays up all night up just to learn the most niche and useless information of all time

But somehow, you always know more than him and beat him

Gets so frustrated by this because he can't stand not being the smartest know-it-all in the room

So he decides to try and make YOU seem stupid

Asks you super hard questions that no one could possibly know

But for some reason, you know it

This drives him even crazier cause he can't win LOL

But overtime, he grows to find it really useful and cute at times

He likes to see how passionate you are on different things

And he does like smart girls, so he starts to see it as a pro

TOM RIDDLE

Super annoyed by the fun facts and random info at the start

Mainly because he probably already knows it or he doesn't care for it

Because if he was interested, he would have searched it up already

So in his eyes, it seems like you're call him too lazy and dumb to want to search something up

So he tells you to shut up right away when he knows you're going to info dump

But sometimes, he genuinely doesn't know and he hates admitting that

He's super bad at social interactions, online culture, etc, so he does need help with those

But he's too egotistical to admit that

So he starts to just "ignore you" when you info dump

You'll explain the deep and complicated lore of Trisha Paytas and once you're done he'll say, "Huh? Oh I was spacing out."

But in reality, he was listening in depth and taking mental notes

So he starts to use this to his advantage since you do describe every very well

He starts to silently train you in a way

For example, he'll place a group of items in front of you, like a blue shirt next to a Slytherin hoodie

This will then remind you of Alvin and the Chipmunks so you dive into the deep lore of each actor

MATTHEO RIDDLE

Doesn't really care much at first since he's always been a bit dumber than other kids

He assumed everything you were saying was common knowledge and that he was just dumb

But when others start to mention how smart you are, he's surprised

He has a smart s/o :O

Well, he always knew that but to find out that you were smarter than a majority of people gave him a confidence boost

Starts to rely on you for every single question he has possible

Even if he knows the answer, he just wants to see if he's right

He likes it when you info dump to him

Surprisingly, he's a really good listener when it comes to you

Loves listening to you talk for hours on end

THEODORE NOTT

He's not much of a talker, so having you there to info dump on him is really amusing

You're like a walking podcast for him to listen to

Likes to ask you questions too so you can switch topics

He's super proud of seeing how smart you are

Theo is pretty smart, the smartest out of the Slytherin boy group at least (Which isn't that hard) (Tom doesn't count LOL)

So it's nice for him to finally talk to someone that doesn't ask dumb ass questions every 5 minutes

It's like switching his brain off so he can just listen to you talk and explain

It makes him feel safer with you to know that you're so smart and into so many things

He also loves it because it makes it so easy to buy you a gift since he knows exactly what you like :)

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

You're both kinda in the same boat which is amazing and bad

He's also into info dumping and telling you about the niche history he found out

But so are you, so you two end up clashing and having different ideas

Like for example, you were both info dumping about the brand new live actions Avatar the Last Air Bender and you both had drastically different thoughts

Lorenzo thought a lot of it was inaccurate but you were defending it with your life

But in the end, you both just shut up because you accidentally switch topics mid way

He loves asking you questions about niche topics so he doesn't have to research them himself

Likes listening to you talk while he eats

Sometimes he'll facetime you while he has dinner so he can listen to you talk

And sometimes he even calls you before bed so you can talk him to sleep :)

thank you for reading ! 🐍 :: masterlist!

[tarotwithavi]

Similarities and differences between you and your fs

These pictures do not belong to me, they belong to their rightful owners

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

PAID READINGS ARE OPEN!!

Masterlist

Paid services

Pile 1

Similarities

Both of you know your worth; you will not tolerate any kind of disrespect. I see that both of you will not try to hide your mistakes; you will take proper accountability for your actions, and you will never put the blame on somebody else. I see that you guys are into spirituality or you have a great thirst for knowledge and growth. Your future spouse will also be interested in learning and expanding their knowledge, so you guys will be learning a lot together. I also see that you are a really patient person. You believe in hard work, and you believe that discipline is better than inspiration, and this is something that your future partners will admire a lot about you. This may be something that they will learn from you in the initial stages. I also see that they are similar to you in a way; you guys seem to have similar eating habits. If you are vegan or vegetarian, then they may also be vegan or vegetarian. Both of you may be from a country that has a humid atmosphere or a country that is prone to getting heat waves. Overall, I do see that you guys have a high tolerance. Similar customs, I see that even if you guys are from different religions, the customs or practices are somewhat similar.

Differences

Okay, so I see that one of you may have a really deep voice, or you may talk in a way that appears or sounds angry; the accent may be different. Another difference is how you deal with loneliness: one of you may not like being lonely, and the other one may love their alone time, so the one who loves their alone time may require a lot of their time, and this will be something that may be a bit challenging. Another message I'm getting is that the difference in languages may be that they speak a different language, and sometimes it's difficult to understand what they are trying to say. Overall, I see that the way they talk may be difficult to understand or comprehend. They may use complex words because I do see that one of you has a really rich vocabulary. You may be someone who assumes quickly, or they may be the one who assumes quickly, but I do see that one of you jumps to conclusions while the other one tries to understand the situation. And this will help you guys deal with complex situations because sometimes their quick conclusions may help you.

Pile 2

Similarities

Okay, so I see that both of you love to travel and explore different things. I also see that you guys are quite adventurous. Both of you will travel a lot together, and I see that your destinations or the places you would like to visit are the same, so you will be fulfilling your wishes of traveling to that certain place with them. Another message I'm getting is that both of you have a deep love for luxurious things and pretty things. Maybe you guys are Venus dominant, or Venus is really strong in your chart. I also see that both of you have a huge love and admiration for your family. Both of you respect your parents, grandparents, and the people who help you be who you are today. I also see that both of you may have pretty parents? Idk lol maybe your parents look younger than their age or their parents may look younger than their age. Another thing I see is that both of you may have the same number of siblings. Or your families may have known each other. I also see that both of you love beaches, or you grew up near a huge water body, or you feel connected to water in some way. Swimming may be significant. I also see that your names have similar meanings but in different languages. Both of you can have curly hair. You may have the same favorite flower.

Differences

Okay, so I see that one of you had a lot of responsibilities forced upon them from a really young age, while the other barely had to deal with responsibilities. Or it can also mean that one of you cannot handle a lot of responsibilities at once. One of you may get overwhelmed easily, or I do see that one of you may have anxiety. I also see that one of you was really lucky in everything and everything just seemed to come easily, and they barely had to worry about anything, while the other had to struggle a lot in order to get the same results. Even though your families knew each other, maybe the financial positions were different because I do see that there seems to be a difference in financial terms. One of you seems to be the cherished child, while the other seems to be the neglected one, so this is one of the major differences that you guys may have had growing up. I also see that one had a good relationship with their father, while the other did not. Another major difference is with education and ethics. One of you may have studied from an international university or a university that is well-known, while the other may have studied from a not so popular institute.

Pile 3

Similarities

Both of you are really possessive of your belongings and the people you love. You match each other's level of possessiveness, and I see that this is something that you guys would actually love about each other because you just seem to understand why you are possessive of one another. Another message I'm getting is that both of you are really calm. You guys may not like crowded places or places with a lot of noise. You guys would rather stay at home than go outside on weekends. I also see that some of you like to collect things, and this can be anything, for example, crystals, stationery, books, shells, etc. Your significant other would also have some kind of special interest or obsession about collecting. Both of you have great love for nature, and you guys seem to enjoy horror movies. You may like to talk about conspiracy theories, mysteries, and all that. I see that you guys have really similar interests, and I also see that you have similar personalities, so you guys will vibe really well. I also see that you like storms or windy days. Both of you may like to take pictures of clouds or the sky. Birds may be significant. I also see that you guys are really protective of the people you love and the things you cherish. You guys may also like to take a lot of pictures, videos, etc.

Differences

Okay, so while both of you have similar interests, one of you may talk a lot or talk really fast while the other may be a slow talker. I also see that one of you sleeps a lot, and by that I mean a lot; maybe some of you even sleep around 12 hours a day. Another message I'm getting is that one of you gets tired really easily and requires a lot of time to rest and rejuvenate, while the other can spend days without having proper rest. I also see that one of you may walk really fast or may have long legs, while the other may be a slow walker. I don't know what it is, but fast and slow seem to be the main difference. Overall, I'm not getting any specific things you guys are quite similar to each other, so there are fewer differences.

[bloodsbane]

what i love about laios is that he's actually very good at putting puzzle pieces together BUT HERE'S THE THING 1) he needs to HAVE the information, and 2) (this is important) he needs to KNOW it is information he should care about

and i think this could be said of anyone but the thing with laios is that people tend to view his lack of awareness wrt social etiquette and memory problems as pure indifference and/or obliviousness; sometimes they misinterpret his motives based on their inaccurate expectations of him and therefore don't give his thoughts on a subject the credit he deserves

one of the most obvious examples of this happens at least twice in the manga as i remember it, but the most recent incident was when they were trying to resurrect falin. there's a moment where laios mentions reconstructing both of the warg skeletons, as their bones are mixed in with hers. both chilchuck and senshi balk at this, with chilchuck complaining aloud, questioning laios' priorities,

and laios quickly, angrily retorts. his reason for making the suggestion is perfectly logical and practical, but because his friends are used to his interest in monsters influencing his judgement, often in ways they see as frivolous or dangerous, they don't come to the same conclusion. one which i'd argue is kind of obvious considering the situation

we see it again during his fight with toshiro, where toshiro demands to know what laios plans to do to save falin. laios takes a minute to answer, but he DOES answer, following the logic that if falin is a chimera because of (and controlled by) the mad mage, then the logical next step is to confront/defeat/usurp them

then in the following episode, when chilchuck brings it up again, laios explains what he (now) knows about thistle, mentioning that he's the same elf that laios saw in the living paintings, which is why he knows thistle's connection to delgal. the party reacts like this:

i'd say this is an example of them feeling frustration over laios' habit of having 'bad timing', not knowing when or how to speak at appropriate moments. theyre judging him for not saying something earlier, as if he already knew all this but didn't think to mention it when it was relevant, when the reality is that laios only just now had all the pieces he needed to understand the full picture

and i mention this bit specifically because i think it's a great way to explain what i mean by point 2: laios needs to know when information is important and worth considering

which, again, feels fucking obvious. but as someone who ALSO has debilitating issues with remembering important shit, i find this particular element of it pretty relatable and critical to my overall point. it's not laios' fault that he didn't know who thistle was or his significance - why the hell would he assume that a person he met in a living painting, presumably long since dead in reality, should be someone who's face, name, or motives he keeps in mind?

ultimately, i guess what i'm trying to say with all this is that the way others treat laios' intelligence is not congruent to how actually smart he is. one of the things i love most about laios, what is possibly his biggest strength and the reason he is such a great protagonist, is that laios is willing to think things through and find the most logical conclusion to a problem, no matter how outlandish or dangerous or seemingly impossible that conclusion may be. sister got eaten? race back down to go get her. can't afford food? fight, defeat, and eat dangerous monsters. sister's fully digested? use black magic to bring her back. now she's a chimera? defeat the mage controlling her and use that power to fix it.

anyways. what was even my point with this post? i guess it is that laios is smart, at least as smart as anyone else in the cast, arguably smarter than some. he is intelligent and utilizes that intelligence in many ways, not JUST when it comes to monster info (though that is his best and sexiest brand of knowledge)

and also please be nice to your friends with memory problems. it's rough out here for forgetful bitches

[andbreakmynose]

cowboy films on gloomy afternoons

you loved everything about working at your local cinema, besides that one employee who just really confused you. he's just as pretentious as you thought but maybe he's also... something else.

WARNINGS: smut!! p-in-v, soft dom! al, one use of slut, office sex, age gap (unspecified, reader is in university). this is really fucking self indulgent

WORD COUNT: 4.7k

written with tbhc alex in mind because tbh he's the only one i can imagine being this level of pretentious tbh

You believed that you truly had the perfect job. For a film student, working as the projectionist at the little independent cinema across the street really was too good to be true. You spent your long hours watching movies—the kind that mattered. Sometimes you’d get stuck with the blockbuster of the week, but you were mostly met with true classics and arthouse features, which not only stuck with you long after watching but actually helped you get ahead in class. Your workspace was cramped and less than ideal, but not even that made you hate the job. You were surrounded by what felt like cinema history in unused rolls of film and posters left over from all 78 years the theater had been open, plus there was a half-decent couch to nap on. And yeah, you got free soda and snacks from it. Perfect.

The company was nice too; if the film ran long and you felt like you needed to stretch your legs, you could walk down to the never-busy lobby and talk to Lucy at the concessions counter (and steal some food) or Dylan at the ticketing stand. Somehow you even got a pretty good boss; Marty was one of the coolest and most experienced people you had ever met. He also wasn’t ever that busy, so he could help you with your homework if you really needed it.

But there’s always that one confusing co-worker, isn’t there? The one that’s either always out for the day or just plain weird. You had Alex. He worked in programming, getting to decide what movies the theater would show regardless of anyone else’s opinions. And goddamn, he was really good at it. Almost every showing you saw was completely sold out (who knew Sheffield had such an audience for auteur films?). But every time you praised his talent, he’d just... shrug it off. He was an enigma wrapped in an encyclopedia of film knowledge.

The problem with Alex is that he was aloof and painfully so. At team meetings, he’d stay in the corner, and you never really saw him out of the office. He also had a habit of being fickle; one day he’d decide he wanted to do an entire week of Tarkovsky films, and the next he’d want to do 1940’s horror films instead. His behavior echoed the type of students that would be dismissed in your class as ‘obnoxiously pretentious’, and god he was, you still remembered the time he went off on poor Marty for suggesting they show a Star Wars movie. But you were still interested in what he had to say; you loved Lucy and Dylan, but they couldn’t hold a conversation about a movie. Alex could, you assumed, if he was able to hold a conversation at all.

The first time you ever talked to him in private was when you went to ask about the copy of the film that was being shown. You had heard there was both a director's cut and a theatrical cut, so you wanted to make sure which you were playing. He answered your question with one sentence; “Director’s. Why the hell would I pick the theatrical edition?” And then went back to his work. It was a while before you talked to him again.

The next time you talked to him was for the same reasons, he seemed a little deep in his work when you came down to his office but you had 20 minutes before credits hit and your boss needed you to do this now. It was something about a high paying donor having a desperate question, whatever.

This exchange was almost the same, except this time he insisted that it was the theatrical cut and that the director’s cut was cash-grab bullshit. Ever the confusing man. You started on your way out when he called at you.

“Hey, what’s your favorite movie?”

It was an unexpected question, he never asked you anything let alone a personal question. It must be a trap, he wanted to hear your favorite movie and then would make fun of you for it. And it’s not that you had bad taste or anything, you're just sure he could find a way to tease you for literally anything you said.

“C’mon, I don’t have all day.” He says, an almost bored expression on his face.

You hesitated in choosing your words, anxious not to provoke the irritation you had seen in men like Alex, even though you knew he was likely to remain impassive. And even though you hadn’t seen him lose his temper, his distant demeanor made you uneasy, as if any slight could provoke a reaction. You had no reason to be scared but you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease in your bones.

Alex on the other hand finally turned to face you fully. He had been observing you for a while, you were always around and so was he, and he noted that you also seemed genuinely interested in the films and not just your paycheck. He also found himself begrudgingly noticing that you always wore the same type of skirt, ending right above your knees. He thought that if you were a character in a film it’d be one of your defining traits.

“Mulholland Drive.” You coughed up after a second of thinking. It was an answer that was both honest and, perhaps, intended to impress him. You didn’t want to dwell on whether that was your true intention or not though, you had other things to do.

Alex felt a flicker of satisfaction at your choice. He anticipated a more predictable answer, so Mulholland Drive was certainly a more compelling choice. In his mind, it confirmed that his suspicions were true; you were a different type of girl than any other employee he had seen in his 10 years of working at this theater. Maybe he really was pretentious, but he felt like if anyone was to work with him it should be people like you. He gave you a satisfied nod and a hum of approval, returning to the emails at his desk. He found you just as mysterious as he found you, he wanted to tear down the layers you had shown to everyone else.

Taking that as your sign to leave, you made sure to stop at the concessions stand for a bag of popcorn before going back up to the projectionists booth.

Two weeks later was when things started to change.

Alex had started to smile more, but you decided that was just because it was warm outside again. He had an interesting smile, it was warm and took up his entire face. It wasn’t the smile you’d expect him to have, you expected him to have a sneer if he was even capable of smiling.

You always liked to look at the schedule of films for the next week when they dropped on Thursday afternoons, you’d compare it to your classes’ syllabus to see if there was anything you could watch to get ahead. It seemed like Alex had decided on cowboy films for the next week, he’d done Sergio Leone before but this was just… a lot of 1960’s cowboy movies you had never even heard of. Nothing that would be helpful at all for you.

In between ‘Navajo Joe’ and ‘Billy the Kid Versus Dracula’ (god, where did he even discover these things), your eyebrows shot up. In the midst of all these damn horse operas he had snuck in… Mulholland Drive.

To say there were a million thoughts going through your head would be an understatement. A small, selfish part of you wanted him to have included the film because he had a soft spot for you, maybe this was his way of saying he saw how much you liked movies too. The logical part of your brain told you that there was some other reason, maybe an anniversary or something.

Checking the remaining time on Sabrina (Alex was on an Audrey Hepburn kick this week), you saw you had an hour left. That was plenty of time to wander the lobby and see if you could catch Alex. You slipped your phone into your pocket and climbed down the ladder from the projectionist’s booth to the lobby, praying to every god possible that Alex is somewhere to be found.

Lucy called out to you the second she saw you, beckoning you over with popcorn. You sighed and walked over, smiling at her.

“Hey look, I can’t talk for too long… have you seen Alex? Urgent question from someone at the screening.” It’s an utter lie, your mother would’ve reprimanded you for how filthy it was. But you needed to talk to him.

Lucy thought for a second, tapping her chin with her finger before she remembered. “He’s in his office, he’s always in his office, remember?” She said like it’s the most obvious thing ever. You nodded and gave a thumbs up, taking a handful of popcorn in your mouth before standing up again.

And that’s how you ended up in his office again, although you were shyer this time. If it was actually a question from a patron you’d ask it so easily, but this time it was your own. He’d have to give you an insight into his mind, you weren’t sure if he had ever done that before.

Your foot tapped lightly as you knocked on the door to his office, you heard him shuffle some papers around and groan.

“Come in.”

You have to take a deep breath before you open the door, there’s no reason this stupid movie should be making you feel this nervous but god…

“You’re gonna make me watch shitty westerns for an entire week, Turner?” You say with a small smirk, you embarrassingly had thought of your words all day. You didn’t want to just come in and ask him about why he picked your favorite film.

His eyes darted over to you the second you walked in, slowly taking you in. You had on the same skirt as last time. “I was watching one at home last night and was reminded of how brilliant the genre was. What, you don’t like a good shoot-em-up?” He asks you with raised eyebrows, leaning back slightly in his desk chair. Of course he liked westerns.

“Not my thing at all.” You replied, taking a small step closer to him. His hair was messier today than it usually was, his beard had gotten longer. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a bit, although he never looked like he got a lot of sleep. “Is it yours? Is your favorite film a western?”

He took note of how you were asking his favorite, the same way he asked yours. Smart girl. He smirked and shook his head, “Nah. My favorite film is ‘Le Samouraï’, you seen it?” Alex wouldn’t judge if you hadn’t seen it, but if you have it just might make you his favorite person on the planet.

You have to rack your brain on what you’ve heard of this film before, maybe it’s been mentioned in class before, you haven’t seen it. “No. Is that a sin?” You asked, leaning against a file cabinet in his office. His office was definitely bigger than the projection booth, he had made it very Alex.

Alex scoffed and shook his head, “I’m sad you haven’t seen it because it’s so brilliant but not mad. They haven’t taught you Melville in that expensive film school yet? You’re getting ripped off, sweetheart.” He matched your comfortable stance by leaning further back into his desk chair and crossing his legs. He had noticed that you aren’t scared of him, not even intimidated by his knowledge. He liked that, he liked talking to you.

“I’ve heard the name, we just haven’t watched it yet.” You respond, looking for the next thing to say to bring you to your point. “But I guess you’ve seen my favorite film, right? I saw you included Mulholland Drive in the lineup, was that a coincidence or are you being deliberate?”

Alex laughed at your words, of course you picked up on that. You really were too smart for your own good. “Well I suppose it’s a bit of both. I wanted something different in case not every regular audience member was on board with my westerns-’ he paused to roll his eyes, as if that thought disgusted him, “but yes. I figured it might be a pleasant surprise for someone with a discerning taste.” His eyes met yours and he smiled again, mostly because he saw a smile creeping on your face. He wanted to keep you smiling.

There was something about him admitting that it’s for you that made you feel… something. You didn’t quite know what. Maybe excited? You were excited and felt validated that he found your taste in film good enough to put on a lineup. You liked that he was perceiving you. “You’re saying you picked it for me? And here I thought you were just gonna be cryptic... What's your angle here?” You asked him; the smile was still on your face, but now your eyebrows were raised.

“Ah.” Alex uncrossed his legs, finally standing up. He got a little closer to you; he wanted to make stronger eye contact with you. “A great teacher back when I was in film school told me that it’s not just about what you watch; it’s about connecting. Maybe it’s all worth it if I can connect with someone who also appreciates the genius of Mulholland Drive.” Pretentious bastard; even his flirting was fucking pretentious. You would’ve made fun of him if you weren’t fighting back a blush.

You took another second to decide your words; it wasn’t often you were speechless, but you were now. "Well, I didn’t expect you to remember, let alone care enough to do that. Maybe there’s more to you than I thought... but don’t get any ideas about being my hero because you saved me from a complete week of westerns.” You had to throw an quip in there; without it, you thought your words felt too… vulnerable. You weren’t sure you were there with Alex yet.

He had to admit that you were funny, even if it was obvious what you were trying to say. He let out a laugh and shook his head. “I’m not trying to be your hero, sweetheart. I just figured that someone who loves the film as much as you deserves to see it on the big screen. Even if it’s from your tiny projection booth.”

His words, once again, leave you stunned. That was really sweet—maybe the top 5 sweetest things anyone had ever done for you. It was almost impossible not to blush and grin at him, and your body betrayed you by making you step forward. “Yeah? That’s… nice. But if you’re not trying to impress me, what’s your real game here? Or do you just have a thing for making people feel special?” You asked him; your smile was somewhere between teasing him and being genuinely flattered.

“You are special.” He responded, also taking a step forward. You started to feel his breath on your face; somehow just this one conversation had made you go from being terrified of him and thinking he’s so pretentious to wanting him.

As if he could read your mind, he reached forward and placed his hand on your hip, giving it a small squeeze. “Maybe I just enjoy challenging expectations; I can’t always be the mysterious bastard in the office. And like I said, you’re special.” His voice lowered, and his face got impossibly closer to yours.

Against all odds of being at work, and that just a week ago you thought he was the most confusing man on the planet, you needed to fucking kiss him. And you did; you took a half step forward and smashed your lips against his. He kept his hand on your hip, squeezing the soft skin as he pushed your back against the filing cabinets. You guessed that he wanted you as bad as you wanted him because he was practically sucking your face; you thought that was just a saying. It was an absolute mess of tongue on tongue and teeth on teeth; your noses even collided a few times as his beard scratched your face. It was uncomfortable in the best way; it was damn hot.

You moaned the very first second you felt his hand grope at your ass and his mouth slip from your lips to your neck. “So fucking pretty, so good,” he muttered before he started to attack your neck. It was an added sensation to have his beard pressing against you alongside his mouth (and teeth; he almost teethed at you). He definitely would leave more marks than just hickeys, but you were so in pleasure you didn’t even have time to think of work.

Oh fuck, work. You cursed silently to yourself and looked up at the clock, just as his hand started to snake under your blouse and over your bra, giving your tit a nice squeeze. “Fuck!” you called out, not just from the intense pleasure but from the fact that you only had another 30 minutes left before you told yourself you needed to be back in the booth. In an ideal world, you’d have an entire night with him.

He continued his mouth’s attack on your neck and hand’s attack on your breasts, feeling his pants start to become tighter; he could only imagine how wet you were. His fantasies were interrupted by you pulling him away and sighing, trying to catch your breath. “Alex… Alex I don’t have much time before I need to go. Do you want-”

He interrupted you this time with his hand coming up to squeeze your lips together, promptly making you shut up. “You got enough time for me to fuck you? Because I’m going to fuck you,” he said as if he'd already decided, and then he started to work with the hand not on your face to unbuckle his belt.

You weren’t able to really form words, so you just whined and nodded, giving him that permission he wanted. He took it quickly, flipping you over and bending you over his desk, your tiny skirt riding up so he could get a view of your pants. You were soaked; he knew you would be. His large thumb started to trace your folds before he made a ‘tsk’ noise and flipped you over again. He wanted to see your face, he decided. Alex Turner was nothing if not confusing.

“This wet only from a little kissing, god, sweetheart, I didn’t know I was dealing with a slut. Although I could’ve guessed from these tiny skirts you keep wearing.” His voice is cool and calm, a complete contradiction from how sinful his words were. You whined at them.

“Alex please. We don’t have much time; please just fuck me!” You cried out, hastily pulling your skirt down so he had easier access. Alex nodded and began to work faster on pulling his pants down. He was so goddamn aroused watching you act like this; you were such a gorgeous girl, and now he had you completely under his control. You moaned loudly, and he grunted, bringing his hand up over your mouth.

“Sweetheart, I’d love to hear all those pretty little noises, but not now. I’m not getting fired because you had to talk all sweet to me and get bent over.” It was an unholy whisper into your ears, causing your skin to shiver. You nodded, and he took that as a sign to slip your panties down. “Knew you’d have a pretty cunt.”

If it was even possible, his words caused you to get even wetter. You could’ve guessed that he was big from the hardness in his jeans, but by the time he slipped his pants and boxers off, you were left gasping against his hand. There was an underlying fear—how the hell was that supposed to fit inside of you?—but also a great arousal because THAT was supposed to be inside of you. Alex tilted his head down to look at your pussy before he smirked, adjusting himself so he could get closer to your entrance.

Your cunt started to clench around nothing, getting excited just at the sheer closeness of his cock. He looked at your entrance again before he spat on his hand and started to rub it along his length as extra lubrication. “I don’t want to hurt you, babygirl,” he whispered before gently forcing the head into your heat, causing you to scream against his hand.

He shushed you again as he kept pushing himself further in; all of your tiny moans and whines were hidden by his hand, but that was for the best; he’d hear them eventually. You were so tight, so warm, and in that very moment Alex decided he was never going to fuck another girl in his life.

When he bottomed out, you gave in and bit at his hand; it was the only way you could keep an actual scream from coming out. You felt so full, you could even feel him throbbing in your cunt (or maybe that was your walls clenching; it could be both). He smirked and started to move, setting a pace that was relentless. He’d prefer to take you apart slower, but you didn’t exactly have the time for that.

His cock was hit every spot in you that made you mewl and arch your back; it was like he knew things about your body that you didn’t. His eyes were focused like you were one of those damn emails he was always writing; it was hot to you that he was that focused on your pleasure. Gentle grunts started to fall out of his mouth as the hand not on your mouth came up to twist at your nipples. The pleasure was starting to become unbearable, and you weren’t sure how much longer you had until you started crying.

You knew you were close when a particularly hard thrust caused your eyes to roll so far back in your head it hurt, so you brought your thumb down to your clit. You needed to cum, and you didn’t care what you had to do to achieve that.

Alex cared though; he wanted to be the one to make you cum. He took his hand off of your nipple and smacked yours off your clit, causing you to whine at the loss of sensation. “None of that. If you needed that, you could’ve just asked,” he grunted, bringing his thumb down to your sensitive bud. It was a funny thing for him to say, as you couldn’t exactly speak, but you still bucked up at his manipulation.

His pace started to become sloppy; you knew he was close too. His breath was also starting to become staggered, and you could almost see a tremble in his legs. You’d never seen him this undone, and it was so damn arousing that you caused it. Alex had already memorized all the spots that made you shake and whine; he knew you were close, so he made sure to hit them all on his thrusts. He knew he didn’t have much time left, and he wanted to make sure you didn’t leave unsatisfied.

It was a particular stroke where he somehow managed to hit your g-spot and pinch your clit at the same time that had you over the top. You felt your legs start to shake and your back arched. You were sure the noises coming from your mouth were starting to get louder than his hand-cranked control, but you didn’t care. You didn’t even care when your hand spilled the pencil cup on his desk all over the floor. All you cared about was that you were cumming and he was making you cum.

Alex grinned at the sight of you becoming this undone because of him. That was what sent him over the edge—the idea that it was his work that just made you coat his member in juices. He pushed until the last second, until his cock was actually twitching, and then he pulled out. The loss of contact was hardly noticed, and he came all over his office floor just by seeing how fucked out you were. You still hadn’t caught your breath, but you were watching him with awe. His dick was really damn nice, and now it was leaking so much cum onto the floor.

He collapsed onto his desk chair and reached for a tissue from his desk. He wiped off his cock before tucking it back into his boxers and then wiped off your pussy, cleaning up the table too. He threw the tissue away and made a mental note to take his own office trash out later.

Once you had caught your breath enough, you stood up, legs still wobbly, and put your pants back on. It took a second, but eventually you had them and your skirt on. Alex just smirked at you.

“That was... good,” you said with a small smile. You were starting to get shy being around him; you just fucked him, and now you had to go back to work.

“It was. You’re uh, you’re perfect. I meant it when I said you’re special.” His smirk turns into a genuinely warm smile, and he brings his thumb up to trace your chin. There was a faint mark on your mouth from him keeping you quiet. You looked down at his cum on the floor, raising your eyebrows in a silent offer to clean it up. He just shook his head; he’d deal with that.

You nodded and sighed, “I should probably get back to work... I don’t look like I just had sex, do I?” Your hair was slightly messy and your shirt was wrinkled, but it also always was. “No one will notice sweetheart,” he replied with a bit of a laugh. He was glad this was your secret.

"Right, uh, thank you, Alex?” It comes out as a question; you’re not sure if you should thank your co-worker for making you cum like that. He shook his head and stood up. “No, thank you for being such a damn good fuck and a special girl.”

You smiled at this; his words gave you a slight hope that maybe this would happen again. You opened his door when he called out to you.

“Sweetheart, I was thinking that maybe I could come up with you and watch Mulholland Drive next week.” It was an optimistic idea; he was worried that you only wanted to fuck. But you grinned and nodded, “I’d really love that; we even have a couch up there.”

He chuckled and stepped closer to you, placing his hand on your chin again. “A couch, fancy!” He joked before he pressed a singular peck on your lips; he wanted you to know that you meant something more than a fuck in the only way he knew how. He wasn’t exactly the best with words. You laughed back at him.

“Alright then, it’s a date.” You grinned at him before leaving his office; you would’ve stayed longer, but time really was running out. You were so lucky that Lucy seemed to be on a bathroom break; you didn’t have to deal with her asking why you were in Alex’s office for so long.

When you got settled back in the projection booth and the credits began to roll, you took a minute to think about what the fuck had just happened, and when you opened your phone, the list of his stupid fucking westerns was still on it. But that was Alex, and maybe you liked that about him.

A/N: yeah like i said... self indulgent (i used to work at a cinema lol). but i'm already obsessed with this version of alex ahh.

[eamour]

the void craze

as many of you already might now, the "void" state, also called the "i am" state, is a method coined by neville goddard which became popular and famous for its rather unique way of manifesting your desires. just like with every method being put on a pedestal, there are a hand full of problems that come along with it. with this post, i want to help you gain clarity but also consciousness (no pun intended) about your outlook on this method.

problems of obsessing over a state

disregarding your outer reality. you have responsibilities and things to look after in the physical world that — even if you can change and get rid of them — need your attention. you exist in both, 4D and 3D. as long as you are aware of yourself physically, you need to care for yourself.

disregarding your inner reality. by constantly being in a state of waiting and wanting, you keep desiring. you keep occupying a state of mind and refuse to change it — in other words, change your "i am" — and will remain in that state assuming you don't "enter" the void state.

dismissing your feelings and emotions. this point is less about you desiring something but more about your emotional well being. by not fulfilling yourself from within, you are enslaved to your senses and will continue to upset yourself with the 3D, starting to bottle up your emotions.

becoming indifferent to your surroundings. you might start to disregard everything around you and force yourself not to negatively react or acknowledge the outer world.

developing unhealthy habits. some people are likely to isolate themselves, some begin to spend an unhealthy amount of time on the internet (specifically apps like tumblr or youtube), some ruin their sleep schedules to attempt once they are truly sleepy, and so on.

overconsuming information. with people spending a significant amount of time online, it enables the possibility of people taking in more information than they actually need (also causing people to doubt or double-check their knowledge).

overcomplicating the method. now, entering the void is easy. all you do is "enter" a specific state of mind, something you do all the time with many many different states all day long. but people love to think that it's different with the void as it's such an "important" state to occupy (which it is not).

refusing to change from within. as you rely on one method to change your life entirely, you are not willing to take the lead and to "manifest the usual way". you don't want to try any other method, nor make an effort to try something else.

focusing solely on the void. you are convinced that the void will be your saviour and fix all of your problems immediately which is why you see no point in manifesting another way. you are certain that the void is the only way to shift your reality easily, quickly and effortlessly.

trusting only the void. it's easy to give up all efforts to manifest your desires with other methods when you feel that manifesting without the void seems too difficult, hard or too exhausting.

mistrusting other methods. you might also feel like other methods don't work as "good" or "efficiently" as the void method.

putting your life on hold. while many people try to attempt to "enter the void" aka "become pure consciousness" at night or once they get into a sleepy, drowsy state, they tend to fail to care about their lives for several hours throughout the day. they dismiss improving their lives, start losing hope and stop to invest in themselves, as they see no point in "trying" to change anything. they believe that achieving change will only be worth it or purposeful once they do it via the void state.

conditioning your desires. waiting for the best moment to attempt, meaning once you are tired, doesn't mean to condition your desires. it's thinking that you can only attempt around that time that makes you condition your desires.

discrediting your power. since the void is known to change lives drastically, some lean towards ascribing more power to this method compared to themselves.

believing in an external power. some even believe the void is a place that exists outside of them rather than viewing the void as a state of reaching pure consciousness.

doubting your abilities. you can draw this conclusion once you begin to think that a state of mind has more power over you than the person that has the ability to choose and to occupy any state of mind they wish to.

burning out. if you have "failed" to identify with that state of mind, you are very likely to develop beliefs implying things such as being unable to manifest, being out of control and overall giving up on yourself.

advice

i didn't make this post for the solely purpose to scare you off and to persuade you not to try the void method at all. i made this post for you to understand the many many unnecessary thoughts all around this method. these are things that people do or think once they start to make their happiness depend on a method, a state that they are infinitely greater than.

i want to encourage you to try out any method that you are interested in and determined to master. do as you please, regardless of the opinions of other people. but always keep in mind: it's nothing you can't achieve. and remember, just like neville said, the conceiver is ever greater than his conception — meaning, you will always and forever be more powerful than any state of mind you could possibly think of.

with love, ella.

[ladykailitha]

Well Met By Moonlight Part 17

Welcome to the beginning of the end, for the next four weeks I will be putting out the last chapters of this story. It's done. And I am sorry to see it go. I really loved writing this story even if it kept changing on me and evolving into what it is today.

In this chapter we have Jason being sneaky, Wayne and a new werewolf in town.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

~

Eddie and Steve were having a quiet walk about town, holding hands and talking softly to each other sweet things.

Or that’s how it looked on the outside.

They were actually on the hunt. Wayne had been teaching Eddie how to hunt like vampire the last two years, and Steve was learning how to hunt as a werewolf and not just as a man in a wolf suit from Nancy.

What were they hunting? The manticore. Steve’s stronger sense of smell would help them track the beast down, while Eddie’s extensive knowledge of its habits and haunts would narrow down where to look.

People often assumed that Eddie was bad at facts and dates but he wasn’t. He was actually pretty good at them, his problem in school was not doing the homework. He would ace every test, he’d just forget to turn in his assignments.

Hell, his first senior year got one of the Hellfire Club members mad at him because he scored in the top ten percent of the nation on a portion of the SAT. She was averaging an A- average in the class they shared together and thought that that meant she should have gotten in the top ten percent of nation instead of him. To say that things soured between them after that was an understatement.

All this to say that Eddie was smart. Smarter than people gave him credit for and not just how he figured out the meaning behind Patrick’s attack. He knew people. Differently then the way Steve knew people, but still he was clever and quick witted.

Eddie stopped in his tracks and jutted his chin across the street. “Isn’t that Jason Carver?”

Steve looked where he was indicating and frowned. “I thought your uncle said he was sick. What’s he doing in town?”

“Uncle Wayne’s been saying that Jason is becoming more and more withdrawn since Patrick was attacked,” Eddie explained. “He thinks he might have recommend Jason be brought to the full extent of the law, which is something Uncle Wayne really isn’t looking forward to.”

“But we’re trying to find Patrick’s attacker!” Steve protested. “I thought he would be happier that we’re trying to get justice for his friend.”

Eddie frowned, the crease between his eyebrows deepened. “I think his hatred of werewolves and vampires goes deeper than his sense of justice for his friend.”

Steve shook his head. That just couldn’t be true. He knew Jason from basketball. You wouldn’t be able to find a boy more loyal to his friends than Jason Carver. But he raised his head and looked Eddie in the eye and knew. Jason had only showed him his good qualities because they were equals.

Eddie had seen the worst of the other boy. The sneering viciousness beneath the veneer of civility that he showed to those he thought lesser than him.

“We need to find the manticore before he breaks his masters bonds,” Steve whispered. “I’m more concerned what an unbound creature like that could do to this town, over someone like Jason.”

Eddie watched Jason for a moment more. The other teen did not seem to be up to anything nefarious, other than lying to Uncle Wayne, so he nodded.

But the hairs on the back of his neck prickled and the hairs on his arm stood up on end. There was a predator here. He looked around him.

“Babe?” Steve asked, reaching out to touch his elbow. “What wrong?”

“What do you smell just now?” he asked, searching the shadows.

Steve stilled. He scented the air. The wind was changing, but there!

“It’s a sharp metal tang in the air,” he murmured. “Like the scent of dried blood. It’s acrid.” He wrinkled his nose. “Foul.”

Eddie nodded. “That’s what I scented too, but now it’s gone. Whatever it was, though. It was not the manticore.”

Steve shook off a shiver that slid down his spine. “It was werewolf. But not one in my pack.”

“Banished you think?” Eddie asked as the wind shifted to carry the scent away from them. He could still feel the uneasy feeling down the pads of his feet. Whoever was out there was dangerous.

Steve tugged on his sleeve. “Let’s get out of here. There’s nothing else we can do today. The rogue werewolf would have sent the manticore aground.”

Eddie nodded, the cat sìth was probably hiding the manticore’s scent anyway. “We need to talk to Wayne.”

~

Wayne listened intently to their report, soaking in everything they told him. He sat back and thought through it all.

“I think I know who the Banished you smelled in town is,” he said quietly. He handed Eddie the file he’d gotten from Sam and waited.

“Dr. Alexei Oborin,” Eddie read aloud. “That’s Nancy’s werewolf, right? The one she was sure caused a stir when she was little.”

Steve frowned. “She hasn’t told me anything about that.”

Wayne nodded like he wasn’t surprised. “She was waiting to see what that file contained. But I’m leaving it up to you if you want to share it with her. It’s has some pretty gruesome stuff.”

Steve nodded absently as he read over Eddie’s shoulder, the other man waiting until he was done before turning to the next page. No matter how much longer it took Steve than Eddie.

“The name of his bondmate is blacked out,” he said with that little frown of his that made Eddie want to bite him between the eyebrows for being too cute. “Do we know why?”

Wayne shook his head. “I’ve already pressed my source pretty hard to get the file. He could get fired if he doesn’t return it in a week.”

Eddie and Steve shared a glance, but wisely said nothing.

“They were teenagers who were camping out in the woods near the pack compound,” Steve read. He frowned. “That’s strange.”

Eddie and Wayne’s heads snapped his direction.

“Look at the location of the two girls bodies...” he pulled out the photo in file and turned it to face Wayne.

Wayne looked at the picture and then back up at him. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking at, if I’m honest here, Steve.”

“It’s something I learned recently from Nancy,” he replied. “I don’t fight like a wolf in wolf form. I don’t go for the jugular for example because I know as human how easy it is for a human to throw up their arms to protect that area of the body. I knock them over first and press my weight on their chest to make it harder for them to do just that.”

Eddie frowned, but Wayne looked back down at the photo.

“Shit!”

The arms and upper torso were torn to shreds, the way you would expect from a wolf attack, but the bodies themselves were arranged to make it look it was the work of a crazed werewolf. Like something straight out of a horror movie.

“Someone moved the bodies?” Eddie reasoned. “But why would Alexei do that if he thought the kids were hunters? There would be no reason to. It was supposedly self-defense.”

“Unless it wasn’t,” Wayne said, continuing his nephew’s thought. “What if the bondmate came and rearranged the bodies to plead insanity on Alexei’s behalf?”

Steve nodded. “And then when that didn’t work, they claimed that the kids were hunters.”

Wayne rubbed at the stubble on his chin wishing, not for the first time, that he had been changed with a clean shaven face.

“That make sense.”

Eddie closed the file and looked on the front of the folder. “VHS? Video Home System?” He tilted his head to the side.

Wayne snorted, then giggled. Suddenly the stoic vampire was laughing so hard, tears of blood rolled down his cheeks. He took out a handkerchief and wiped away the tears.

“No, no,” he said around his feral grin. “It stands for The Van Helsing Society. But, dear god, I am going to use that on that bastard the next time I saw him.”

“As in Abraham Van Helsing?” Eddie asked, his eyes wide. “From Dracula?” He scooted forward to the edge of his seat.

Wayne nodded, still grinning. “The first name was changed but Van Helsing was a real person. Karl Van Helsing was the first to come up with the first policing body for supernatural beings. After the incident in London, it was pretty clear that people were going to start noticing that supernatural beings existed and he came up with The Van Helsing Society.”

“Pretty arrogant of him to name it after himself,” Steve huffed, rolling his eyes.

Eddie scoffed, throwing himself back against the sofa cushions. “Says the alpha of the Harrington pack.” Then he shook his head and muttered. “It had to be fucking cops.”

Steve just shrugged. “I never said that was also arrogant. I never understood why it wasn’t called the Hawkins Pack or Roane Pack considering being alpha isn’t hereditary.”

Wayne smiled at Steve. He had always liked him since he was a young boy learning that his parents had died. But he was really starting to like the man that boy had become, too. Because it was ridiculous that the pack hadn’t been named after the town or county it resided in.

“They are far more than just cops, Ed,” he warned. “They are a powerful group with abilities all their own. Crossing one of the Society isn’t the same as crossing a mortal or even supernatural cop, like Hopper. They are protected against possession, hypnotism, and even enthrallment.”

“Are they all descendants of the original dude?” Steve asked, pressing even closer to Eddie on the sofa. He didn’t like the sound of these supernatural cops either. Because where were they when he was being abused by the Franklins. He couldn’t even remember the night he first changed. He only remembered when he came to and he and Wayne were burying their bodies. He was just so grateful that the abuse was over that he really didn’t think of why.

But Wayne was shaking his head. “According to the records the last Van Helsing died during the oiliphéist riots of 1922 in Ireland.”

“That’s too bad,” Eddie said, cocking his head to the side. “As anti-vampire as the name has become a symbol of these days, I would still have liked to have met one of his descendants.”

Wayne chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve had the pleasure only once. Greta Van Helsing in 1871. She was a spitfire to say the least.”

Eddie ran his hands over his face. “Please tell me you didn’t fuck her...” he moaned.

“Not on your life,” Wayne huffed. “Even if she was immune to the whole agents and supes producing unhinged offspring, she was a lesbian and won’t have even spared me a glance.”

“Unhinged as in cool super powers, unhinged?” Eddie asked, lowering his hands from his face. “Or mental asylum unhinged?”

“Sadly the latter,” Wayne said mournfully. “The magic that they use to protect themselves from being controlled does nasty things to the natural magics supernatural beings are made of.”

“But Van Helsings were immune?” Steve asked, still pressed to Eddie’s side.

Wayne nodded. “Probably because like most things in nature needing a balance, the Van Helsings were naturally the balance to the supernatural creatures of the world. There are probably other families just like them, but Van Helsings are merely the most notable.”

“Makes sense,” Eddie said, taking Steve’s hand and giving it a squeeze. He could tell this talk of the Van Helsings was making him upset.

“In other news,” he said, “The Hughes, the Hollands, the Martins, and the Camerons are all willing to send in guards for Steve.”

“I wasn’t aware the Camerons were supernatural,” Wayne said rubbing his chin. “What are they?”

“Louie Cameron is a selkie, and Debra Cameron is a siren,” he explained. “Making their daughter Vickie one hell of a strong supe.”

Steve sat there with this confused pout on his face. “Guards? Why would I need guards?”

“I don’t trust the Pack right now,” Wayne replied. “There is more going on in that pack then meets the eye and I can’t be everywhere. Especially with Jason causing trouble in town. Patrick tried to warn me early on that Jason would try something like this, but I wanted to believe that there was good in their somewhere.”

Steve’s expression shuttered to a blank mask. “What do I do?”

“Just start hanging out with me and the others outside of the compound,” Eddie said, squeezing Steve’s hand again and covering it with his other hand.

“Okay,” he breathed. They were right, as much as Nancy wanted him to further integrate into the Pack, he needed to be on the outside to see what was going on and understand it.

And he knew the best way to do it, but it was going to take a lot of convincing. But he was up for the job.

~

Notes:

oilipheists are sea monsters from Ireland.

Cameron is the last name I gave Vickie from season four.

And the SAT (a test to determine how well you've learned your lessons over the course of the year not the college one) thing happened to me. I was doing poorly in English because of the stupid correcting sentences for grammar and punctuation bullshit (there is a very good reason I use betas) but when the results came back I got top ten in the NATION for reading comprehension. My friend in the class who getting A's in that class was so mad it wasn't her that she legit stopped talking to me because she was that sure I cheated.

Tag List: FOURTEEN SLOTS REMAINING

Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi

3- @fullpoetrybread @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookworm0690 @littlewildflowerkitten @just-a-tiny-void @potato-of-the-lord @thelittleclare

5- @goosesister @tinyplanet95 @she-collects-smut @irregular-child @y4r3luv

6- @fairytalesreality @anaibis @papergrenade @ravenfrog @blondie1006 @dreamercec

7- @thedragonsaunt @sadisticaltarts @kultiras @blackpanzy @disrespectedgoatman

8- @kal-ology

[impybutt]

Sezak had never seen a leather jacket before. What cause would someone ever have to wear another's skin? It struck him as alarming, to say the least.

Exposure risk wasn't something he or many others ever considered: His people were designed for efficiency, just like the rest of the spacefaring races. Or, that's what he assumed. It's common knowledge, isn't it?

Genome mapping is just the norm, and entire civilisations have been curated from raw materials, Sezak's included. It's far more energy and resource efficient than terraforming, in any case. That's what it takes to reach the stars: curated efficiency.

No one ever did it just by trial-and-error, did they?

But here was Suri, a Human, wearing the skin of... what did she call it? Some other kind of mammal, he forgot the name. Something absurdly simple. Anyway, apparently this is just normal for Humans!

"But why?" Sezak asked, incredulous. "What's the point?"

"Well, these days thanks to climate control and artificial atmosphere, it's mostly a style thing. But you know, early humans back on earth, why would you just leave a perfectly good skin to rot when you could wear it for protection?"

"Protection from what!? Under what circumstance are you finding an unused skin?? Wait-- is this another religious thing? I've heard that Humans have a lot of those, and they don't always make sense from the outside."

Suri looked confused (or constipated? Human faces are deceptively complex, it takes a long time to learn how to read them), and seemed to be studying Sezak for a moment. Her eyes darted over his synthetic clothing briefly, with its cultural flairs and decorative adornments, all carrying the signature texture of replicated matter.

Then, with sudden clarity, "Oh! Humans weren't curated, mostly we're organic."

Well, that's just absurd.

Sezak muffled his involuntary 'kek-kek' with a quick apology, covering his mandibles.

"Pardon me, that means your entire lineage came from raw evolution. That takes billions of years, I find it very unlikely."

"Yeah," Suri was nonplussed. "The leather is a throwback to when our ancestors had to survive in the wild. We hunted our meat, then used what was left for tools and clothing. It's actually a pretty proud part of our history; Earth was habitable, but definitely not easy."

Now it was Sezak's turn to look constipated, which never happened because his people weren't curated with such a terrible design flaw.

"So humans just bumbled their way into space on their own, like a larva figuring out how to fly? All... clumsy and inelegant, and... Messy? Without any outside help? Without any climate-matching!? Is that why you have those absurd suits!?"

"Yeah, it's also why our bodies just malfunction in weird ways for no obvious reason," Suri looked a little too amused at Sezak's undisguised horror - not that Humans are essentially raw nebula mobilised by a star's age of convenient mutations, but that they exist in such a state of volatility with no apparent qualms about it.

"Oh great wells," Sezak breathed, reeling from his new perspective. "So many of you wear leather. Hold on, is that why Vikram is always visiting the health centre?"

Suri's eyes crinkled, and she bared her teeth -- in a laugh, okay. Sezak recognised the 'kek-kek' noise humans make in thrill, though theirs is a more glottal 'hach-hach'.

"Yes, Vikram has auto-immune issues. Which means that sometimes, his immune system will attack his own body depending on the irritant. Or weather. Or his cortisol levels."

Sezak stared at Suri for a long time, trying to figure out if she was pranking him.

"I think I have a lot of reading to do," he muttered, incredulous.

"Start with the human eye, it's an absolute mess. Do you know how little it takes to detach a human retina?"

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS"

[defectivefanboy]

Howl J. Pendragon x Gn!Reader

this is pure self indulgence. No I am not apologizing. No I am not sorry and yes I am a glutton for punishment.

Overall Notes: Stories written on this blog are GN until specified. While this story uses they/them pronouns, and I don't mind female readers on my blog, I do not write for y'all, and if you are a fetishizer fuck off????????????????? ew.

C/W: Angst no comfort. Howl being a low-key asshole, and a man whore. Self deprecation.

Notes: I have been rewatching this movie like a psychopath

Steps to loving a fool...

People will tell you all the ways they fell for a fool and how they loved a fool.

How they whisked them away off their feet with such carefree nature.

But they also recall how it hurt to let them go at the end.

They always say a bird does not belong in a cage

Because there are many steps to loving a fool, but there are only a few key steps you need to keep in mind.

While the enjoyment and wonder of it is exciting at first a person can only take so much before they finally collapse in on themselves like a star.

Step 1: A fool is as free as the wind.

For as long as you could remember he's always moved as if he was the wind himself.

Maybe it was because he could fly and walk? on air

Being with him was like you were floating

God, to be above the clouds with him once again

To feel as free as he does every day of his life

But you've never seen him settle down, even within his own home.

Always adding a new room, or waking up in a new place with new doors.

That amazement you feel when you hear the click of the door and then the new location or sight before you

Oh is that a new book? What does that trinket do?

The fascinated look on his face always captured your attention more then the trinket did most days

His magic never failed to excite you, only brought you more wonder in what he was capable off

Every time he came through the door he always brought something new

Always something new, something that brought change within the castle

Something was always changing.

Step 2: A fool changes like the seasons

Never get too comfortable and never get used to anything.

As cozy as the house was, he was changing it to how he liked at that moment.

It would become a maze of new rooms and halls.

All the more room for him to make a mess.

Sometimes even a new explosion, opening a new window in the castle.

Yet, you can never develop a habit. Can never maintain a routine

Never able to get a schedule down

Never able to understand what he was doing

Never able to even assume what he's doing

Never able to assume you know what he's thinking.

It's only a matter of time before he changes his interest.

Last month it was simple Science

Today? making a plant into a horse

Tomorrow? Only he knows.

Markl, while a good kid, was on the back burner of the wizards mind sometimes

maybe even a lot of the times, but he always made it up to him with long lessons and studies with the boy.

Guess you weren't even on his mind now a days

You can't blame him though

it's not like you had an altitude for magic or anything.

You didn't have any knowledge from a great beyond

You honestly should've known

The first few months were bliss was him

then it became every few days, every few weeks... every few months... every few y-

Step 3: A fool is never shackled down

When was the last time you made a proper friend?

Calcifer and Markl were both a lovely chat.

But, you could only talk about so much within an ever moving home.

Sure, you've made a few acquaintanceships, but never more than that.

You didn't have enough time to make friends anyways

Didn't stay long ever to keep them either

You would leave town as fast as you came in.

Appearing one night then disappearing the next.

And the excitement of it disappeared just as quick.

Realization only hit quicker.

Watching fling after fling after fling after fling after-

What was it that made them different?

Maybe thats why he's always running away

Being around too long would make too much of an attachment

That means commitment

It means it's no longer just him

A fool carries their own burdens, they don't need the burdens of other as well

He already has his own worries

what made you think he would care for yours?

At first he was attentive, the soft grazing touches he gave felt as if he was treating you as fragile glass

Any force and you would shatter

When did you shatter?

Do you remember when you did?

Did he even realize that you did?

Step 4: A fool won't listen to anyone, but themselves

The house was a mess

Covered in waste from failed potions and experiments.

Molded food and trash everywhere, no matter how much it got cleaned

You had told him that witch wasn't good news

You said she was hiding something from him. From everyone.

Everyone could see he was gonna end up hurt

Yet, you were the wrong one

He's was in love couldn't you see

You wanted this to happen, didn't you?

For him to settle down?

You always said to slow down

Why was it an issue now?

If you don't like it why do you care about it?

You shouldn't be here anymore then

"Why do you always incise on being a nuisance?!"

You have over stayed your welcome.

Silence lingered in the room

The ever so witty fire demon was at a lost for words even

All he could do was watch as you turned away from him and walked to your room.

He watched the ground as you walked away and slammed the door.

He was about to let out a sigh before a second slam followed again.

This time a few steps away

"porthaven door..."

He watched the door in surprise, the dial clicking into place.

sighing finally he turned to the stairs

"Calcifer, warm up a bath"

Step 5: A fool only learns after they have lost themselves

He was sure you would be back the next morning

You always came back, even when he was clearly in the wrong

Even when he would spew hateful words at you for the littlest of thing

You always came back

But when morning came, the castle was as still as it was left the night before.

He realized it’s gone too far

The soft cracks in the glass finally broke

that prideful wizard finally began to break

ode to the boy who shallowed a star in exchange for his heart…

who had lost the only thing that filled the space…

[eobarried]

i'm sure someone has made a post about this before, but i can't get it out of my head so i'm going to reason it out in a post. mouthwashing, to me, is an analogy for addiction. swansea's straightforward discussion of it, i think, is a blatant indication of less obvious addiction analogies throughout the work.

mainly, i want to discuss anya here.

i feel like anya's storyline tends to be narrowed down to the single point of her assault and subsequent pregnancy. but the thing i love about mouthwashing (and neon genesis evangelion, which mouthwashing takes massive notes from) is that all of the characters are full, well-rounded people with identities that can't be narrowed down to a single plot point of aspect of identity. while anya's struggle with her assault and pregnancy are important parts of her story, and the story of the crew as a whole, i want to focus on what i believe is how she, as a character, struggles with addiction.

specifically, i think anya is meant to be addicted to pills, or the pain medication found on the ship - and potentially alcohol as well. here are a few reasons why i believe the game alludes to anya's addiction, despite never saying so out loud:

jimmy mentions, multiple times, that anya did not complete medical school, but never mentions why. he alludes to the fact that he believes she is too squeamish to feed curly his medication - but the idea that anya was unable to complete her education due to such a thing is very clearly not the case. she is the first responder who tended to curly's wounds immediately after the accident (which, we would assume, included the amputation of his limbs, potentially), and she never expressed discomfort with a much more difficult task: changing his bandages. anya's excuse to jimmy that she doesn't want to hear the noises curly makes while he's fed his medication doesn't make sense considering that changing his bandages would be far more painful for him. i think that it's far more likely that either anya wants jimmy to give curly the medication either as a way to distract jimmy, or as a way to distance herself from the pills. i think anya may have failed to complete her education for an entirely different reason: mainly, due to her dependence on opioids.

furthermore, when jimmy interacts with the pills, they are oxycodone, and the game refers to it as "the good stuff." i think that oxycodone was used in the game, specifically, to target the player's association with the opioid crisis. oxycodone was one of the first major drugs associated with the opioid crisis - at least in america - and i believe that association is intentional. furthermore, there are a wide variety of pain medications that are used more commonly than oxycodone today that don't have the same association. i am not a medical professional, but from the limited knowledge i have, i would expect something like morphine to be stocked in a ship's emergency supplies, not oxycodone. morphine is an older and often cheaper substance, and therefore would be more common, especially for a shitty company like pony express.

in addition to this, anya doesn't tell jimmy about the pills stashed in the locker until they're almost out of pills in the med bay. it's very strange that the only things in that locker were an alcohol-based disinfectant and opioids. why were they in a locker outside the medbay? who put them there? the only two options that come to mind are either that curly knew of swansea's alcoholism and anya's addition and stored the pills away, or that anya secreted them away herself. the fact that there is a separate, secret stash of medication that is not stored in the medbay also displays the habits of an addict - hiding one's addition from prying eyes so that one can maintain the semblance of normality.

lastly, i think that anya's storyline in general correlates to the mindset of an addict who was ashamed of her addiction, and desperately trying to regain control of her life so that she could recover.

anya possesses both incredible self-control while at the same time having little to no bodily autonomy. she is constantly issuing suggestions to jimmy of ways to correct the path they've been set on - either to keep him occupied and avoid the potential consequences of leaving him unoccupied, or to actually assist in the recovery of their ship. she's the only one who remains level-headed enough to not only issue those commands and keep the most volatile member of their crew on his feet and distracted, but at the same time, she's able to save a horribly wounded burn victim with what few supplies they have - including amputating his hands and feet, as well as bandaging his entire body. anya is an extraordinarily capable and levelheaded woman.

and yet, she is still addicted. even while she performs these amazing feats, she is acutely aware that while she may be able to control things outside of her body, her own autonomy is compromised by her addiction. she wants to regain control of her life and finally remove herself from the addiction in the wake of this tragedy. i think that anya is meant to be the personification of what's called a "functional" addict - someone who is able to perform their duties accurately and effectively, but still struggles behind the scenes. and here, in the wake of this tragedy, anya is faced with a horrible reality: she can't do both. she can't feed her addiction and perform her duties as a doctor effectively. she can't pop pills she should be giving to curly.

and it is here that i believe her personification as a addict aligns with her identity as a survivor of rape. neither her assault nor her addiction were anya's fault, and yet they both leave her feeling like she has no control over her own body. while many players view anya not drinking the mouthwash as her trying to protect her pregnancy, i actually think that it was instead her trying desperately to wrench back some semblance of control - over both the situation and her own addiction. she compensated by depriving herself of substances that could fuel her addiction, trying desperately to regain some sense of self-worth as a doctor, and autonomy even under the control of her abuser.

i think the mouthwash in and of itself is a good analogy for her. it kills 99.9% of germs - it has health benefits. it should be a good thing, medically speaking. however, like anya says in the game - its sugar content makes it functionally useless as an antiseptic. under normal circumstances, anya is a good doctor, even if she isn't functioning at 100% because of her addiction. she's still functional. but in an emergency situation, like this - that aspect of her , the sugar, the little bit that doesn't actually help medically, but just makes the experience that much more tolerable - poisons the whole.

when thinking of anya in this way, it makes sense that she would have taken her own life, especially in the way that she did. anya likely thought that taking her own life in such a horrible situation was the only way she could have any control over her own body - but the way she did so was cruelly ironic. if anya was addicted to pain medication, and attempting to wean herself off of them in order for curly to withstand his own pain - then her using those same pills to take her life is also, in a way, succumbing to her lack of autonomy.

regardless of whether or not mouthwashing is meant to be read this way, i think viewing anya as an addict is an interesting concept and provides an extra layer regarding the conversation the game presents regarding addiction, control, autonomy, and mortality. and i hope that anyone who reads this, even if you don't agree with my analysis, at least looks at the game in a different light when considering it.

[just-somehuman]

Honestly was just existing and then I experienced a thought:

What if the power an Elder Mimic holds isn't in its actual strength but rather in the fact that it even exists at all?

I haven't watched the latest episode so I don't know if I'm wrong, but I don't think there's been any actual sightings of Elder Mimics. From the research documentary, we know they blend seamlessly into human society and are completely indistinguishable from actual humans.

So what if that plants a seed of doubt in your head that someone you know and love isn't even them at all? They're just an Elder Mimic in disguise. At what point in time were they replaced? How long have they been missing for? Do they even exist anymore? It's so easy for an Elder Mimic to assume the identity of someone close to you after identifying you as a target, disposing of them, replacing them, getting close to you, luring you into a vulnerable position, disposing of you, and identifying another target. The cycle continues.

Now, naturally, you'd become suspicious of people around you. You'd pay close attention to their habits and question if they'd always behaved like that. "Did this person always laugh like that?", "Have they always been left-handed?", and such. Suspicion leads to paranoia, and all of a sudden you're isolating yourself from everyone in fear that they've been replaced. Perhaps it's someone in particular you're scared of, and perhaps they come to check on you one day. And perhaps out of fear, or perhaps an act of self-defense, you attack them when they get too close.

Mimic dispatched of, lightwork. Right?

No. They were just them.

No Mimic.

You've killed someone you care about.

Like I said, there's been no sightings or encounters of Elder Mimics, so we can't say for certain we know they exist. This is what I meant earlier. The true power of an Elder Mimic may not lie in its strength, but the thought of it existing at all. The fear of an attack, the doubt that anyone could possibly be one, turning people on each other. The creation of such paranoia that leads humans to attack each other - they in themselves becoming "Mimics", their fear turning them into people different from who they once were.

This is all under the assumption that Mimics are even intelligent enough to learn human speech and behaviours and essentially become one. I doubt they are though. Taking Harvesters as examples, they're energy efficient. They put 0 work in and get easy prey out of it. If Elder Mimics actually went this far, this wouldn't be energy efficient at all, putting all this work in for one target.

Nonetheless, it's still an unsettling thought that someone you love could have been easily replaced with something menacing that is waiting to kill you. All without your knowledge. And there is nothing you can do about it.

[cozymochi]

Do you have any advice on how to emulate the twist style? I'm genuinely struggling to wrap my head around it.

NOPE! I wish I did! Because! I’m not sure how to describe what I’m doing in the first place. I just kinda… go. (And anyone who has watched any drawing stream of mine can probably attest to that. Assuming anyone watched them actively, I doubt it sometimes.)

I was just formally taught how to draw what I see (this applies to real-life stuff too, it kinda goes hand in hand), and I just have a nasty lifelong habit regarding stuff I like. If it looks a certain way, I wanna draw it the same way or at least as close as I feasibly can get to it. 😩 This is like…. Years worth of somewhat unrelated knowledge + training just being applied to this goofy stuff. I draw wildly different art styles as a habit hobby.

For twst in particular, I’ve mentioned it elsewhere a couple times, but I did spend a good 2-ish years just trying to acclimate myself into training my hand to get used to how it works at all. It really is just… 80% staring at their model sheets or generic renders, and 20% me just… GOING!

I think people can easily tell when I’m not staring at a model sheet vs when I am lol. I do really like Toboso and her staffs artwork, and I’d like to get closer to understanding it, but there are things that she and her staff know how to do that I still don’t know how to accomplish. And those “things” are elements that I’m currently not able to identify in theory or in practice. Let alone articulate in words either if my meandering and vague way of talking about it is any indication lol. (Im not trying to be 1:1, that’s literally impossible for any human to do)

All I do is just look at it. A lot. I just try to draw what I see and go. Though, I’m sure that’s not exactly helpful or even practical “advice”, especially in just typing. Believe it or not I also can only wrap my head around it so much. And even then, I’m still not satisfied nor confident with where I’m at. Mostly due to my own limits. It’s not easy.

….

Then again I also don’t know how to explain or give “advice” on the fly on something that broad just in general. I wish I could be more useful with a more satisfying answer but, I’m not sure how I would. I wanna be helpful but I’m genuinely drawing a blank.

[acrystalwitch]

(***NO N*zis or TERFs allowed to interact with this post or my blog*** This is a post for Norse pagans or polytheists looking to work with Odin. This is all based on my own experiences working with the all father and nothing here is to be taken as a hard fact. If your practice differs from my own that is totally fine. There will be a lot of UPG and SPG)

An incomplete summary of Odin in Norse mythology.

Odin, god of war and wisdom is a key figure in the Norse myths and is involved in a lot of the stories. He is the head of the Norse gods and is called the All father, because it’s by him that all of humans were created. He is married to Frigg and together they had Baldur and Hodr. Odin also has other sons, Thor, Vali, and Vidar.

He has two ravens Huginn and Muninn, and two wolves Geri and Freki.

He only has one eye, he sacrificed his other eye by throwing it into Mimir’s well in exchange for knowledge that could better help him prevent Ragnarok.

Another famous story of his is when he hung upside down from the tree of life for nine days and nine nights to get knowledge of other worlds and to be able to know everything about the runes.

The type of magic he practices (Seiðr) was a feminine type of magic that wasn’t always looked highly on when men would participate in it. Yet our Allfather was very practiced in it.

My experience working with him: One thing to know about working with Odin going in, he will be very honest and blunt. My other deities have a habit of being softer on my feelings than I’ve heard other devotees say they’ve been with them, I’m assuming because I’m very sensitive. But Odin..? He does not care. He will stop giving advice if I tell him I don’t want to hear it. But, if I ask for advice…oh boy, am I gonna get his full opinion. He is very much a father in the way he goes about things, he cares but he wants his followers to push themselves as much as they can, learning as much as you can and always growing, never staying sedentary for too long.

I have a notebook dedicated to him that I’ve been using to work on learning the runes and that seems to be the best offering to give him in my practice right now. He never misses a chance to remind me I need to get back to learning the runes too.

I always wondered why it mattered so much to him that I learn them. Eventually he told me that it was because they really would be useful in spells, and wards and making bind runes out of them is something I’m learning to do now.

He is not the easiest deity to work with, he may even push your buttons on purpose to get you to think harder on things. I’ve noticed he’s even been rude before just to see if I’d stand up for myself and set boundaries and then he’ll explain himself after. Lots of tests trials and teachings. But man, is it worth it for the immense amount of knowledge and mentorship that he can bring. All in all, I’m glad he came to me later in my practice as I might’ve been scared off from deity work if he was the first. But, I love him to pieces and hope to work with him for a long time.

Offerings and associations of Odin

(Odin does not eat food so I’ve seen many people say not to give him food offerings, I disagree! Give him things that he can feed to Geri and Freki. He is known to still fill his plate and just give them bits over meals. So don’t hesitate to gift him any food offerings you would to any other Norse god)

-colors: gray, dark blue, black

- tree Imagery, Yggdrasil in particular

- raven Imagery, black feathers

- wolf Imagery

- clear quartz

- onyx

- blue goldstone

- amethyst

- carnelian

- the hermit tarot card

- the hanged man tarot card

- the four of cups tarot card

- the king of swords tarot card

- mead, wine, alcohol

- poetry (he writes poems!)

- mugwort scent/incense

- Ansuz rune ᚨ

- learn about the runes

- learn his myths

- learn useful and practical knowledge

- read books

- ask him for advice

There are many more ways to learn about him and get close to him. A great one is reading the Hávamál. If you meditate or do tarot or rune casting those are also great ways to contact him and get closer to him.

Signs he might be reaching out; seeing ravens more than usual or in non native areas, very windy days, rain, seeing his name often, feeling drawn to his mythology, seeing his tarot cards pop up often, you already work with one of his sons (I think he sent Thor to me first to soften my idea of the Norse gods and be a warm intro into their pantheon.)

He is a great god to work with, lots of work though. Odin is not for the weak minded, but he’s been so worth getting to know.

[olderthannetfic]

Something a music YouTuber I watch said was that he noticed a huge spike in the popularity of AMVs after Linkin Park released the music video for Breaking The Habit, which was done by an anime studio and took great care to make sure the visuals matched the original artist vision of Mike Shinoda (who is an art school graduate and thus had a lot of input and ideas). Can either you or other people who were in fandom circa 2004 when it was released confirm this? It does sound like that would make sense, as Linkin Park fans and anime lovers overlap a TON on a Venn diagram (and AMV makers and Link Park fans, even moreso) but I'd be curious to see the numbers before and after. Unfortunately, though, since it was pre-YouTube, most AMVs were hosted on individual sites, so I can't really go digging and figure this out personally, given my lack of knowledge on where to even look for fandom content from that era + the fact many of those sites are offline now.

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Ahaha. Anon, it is far easier to research AMVs from back then than from the youtube era.

Unlike Media Fandom vidders, AMV editors were fine being out in the public eye, and they very heavily used animemusicvideos.org. I hear the BL crowd didn't as much, but everybody who was entering mainstream con contests listed all their shit there.

The site opened in late 2000. Youtube started in early 2005, though it didn't fully take off for a while. (Red shows the era between these.) AMV editors may have been using YT for hosting early on (I don't recall), but it took a long time and a lot of turnover for them to stop bothering to list their work on AMVs.org. (It's primarily a database of what exists, not hosting, though it does also have some downloads.)

On the face of it, yes, AMVs seem to have boomed around 2004-2006, so that Youtuber is superficially correct.

However, I suspect this has more to do with the community getting organized and anime cons with AMV contests sprouting up like mushrooms in that era. No doubt the obscene popularity of Linkin Park on AMVs.org was influenced by that official video, but I don't think this was the main driver behind editors editing in general.

(I admit, though, that the height of my anime fannishness was like 1996-2003, and I was not a Linkin Park fan, nor did I care much about AMVs aside from the ones at YaoiCon.)

The rapid decline from 2007 on probably reflects more and more editors being Youtube-only rather than con contests ceasing or anything like that.

The music overall reflects the era and demographic on the site:

But before you assume too much from this huge Linkin Park number, the site overall lists 169,973 videos.