#i have a buncha requests im working on

[grrrechka]

would you ever be willing to draw Donna as a half spider? k thanks bye!

Yess I love Donna requests!! Thank you for asking, I wasn't sure if you wanted recently rebloged design so I made my own

I got a little excited, I love putting animal behaviors into half-humans soo here is a bunch of doods

She covers her face with pedipals when flustered 😔💓

Also! Male spiders dance to attract a mate while female spiders can actually eat a potential mate, so I decided to incorporate both

[someghostwriter]

Ghost Writer

Who am i?

i am Ghost! im a writer that is currently obsessed with mha, kpop and some other animes! So, with this, i have a buncha fanficts for you to check out!!

Main Masterlist

Here is my main masterlist! it holds absolutely everything that youll want at all!! It will contain any works from challenges below and more!

No lemons, Only strawberries

My series of mainly oneshots where i create fanfiction with only one restriction: No smut. Its kinda a petition to start calling fanfics that will never hold smut, Strawberry Fics, in reference to Lemon fanfics.

Request Rules

No proship or weird shit. get out.

currently only taking mha requests!

anybody who writes nsfw of minors GET OUT GRRR (and if u age them up, thats also weird)

no forcing me. im chosing to do the ones i want to do, not because i feel i have to.

tell me if you want headcannons, imagines, oneshots or general longfic!

[resurrection-of-soul]

Flashback | BIOHAZARD 10

Writer: Akira (日日日)

Characters: Rei, Kaoru, Koga, Keito, Adonis

Koga: (Now that you mention it, Ricchi can be pretty rude too. I mean, sometimes he'll just go "move it" n' literally kick me outta the way.)

[ For the best viewing experience, please read directly on my blog! ♪ ]

Kaoru: So basically, it's totally your fault, Sakuma-san.

Rei: Ehhh~? Okay, sure, go ahead n' just blame it aaaaaaall on lil' ol' me¹~ ♪

Rei: (Why does past me have such a rotten attitude!?)

Koga: (People get fooled by yer old man gimmick, but even nowadays you can give people some serious attitude.) (At the very least, y'ain't real polite, goin' around puttin' your feet up on tables n' stuff like some kinda delinquent.)

Rei: (Ritsu also tends to put his feet up on the furniture, you see. ♪ When siblings share the same habits, you find yourself thinking, "they must be close ♪" That sort of thing serves well as a conversation starter, does it not?)

Koga: (Now that you mention it, Ricchi can be pretty rude too. I mean, sometimes he'll just go "move it" n' literally kick me outta the way.)

Rei: (The two of us hold such high-ranking positions within our clan that none dared to scold us even when we exhibited such disrespectful behavior.)

Koga: (Haaah. On top a' that you're way too soft on Ricchi, so there's no way ya ever managed to scold 'im the way an older brother should, huh.)

Adonis: (Quiet. Our past selves seem to be talking about something important.)

Kaoru: After the "Dead Man's Live" the other day, Sakuma-san ran off and went overseas without a word—

Rei: I had work to do, okay? I'm focused on overseas activities. It's my literal job.

Kaoru: Mhm. But, like, because of that, the followers you left behind here in Japan started imitating your worst behaviors and causing all sorts of trouble?

Keito: Sakuma-san's…followers?

Koga: Th-the hell're you lookin' at me for?

Kaoru: Ahaha. You remember how Sakuma-san called on all the delinquents who were hanging around to act as his allies during the "Dead Man's Live," right?

Rei: Oh, if we're talkin' about that, it was just for the competition. So what?

Kaoru: So everyone, like, totally misunderstood? They're like, "we're friends with Sakuma Rei, a world-class superstar."

Rei: Ughhh…

Kaoru: And because of that, they've gotten totally carried away, going around calling themselves "vampires" and causing all kinds of havoc by running wild, eating and drinking excessively without paying for a thing. "We're underlings of the Sakuma Rei, so hold your heads high! Don't hold back!" or whatever. Just checking here but you're not, like, the one telling them to act this way, right? Cause those "vampires," they're going around all like, "If you've got any complaints, go tell 'em to our boss, Sakuma Rei!" and stuff, y'know?

Rei: Are ya stupid? What would I get outta tellin' people to do such a shitty imitation of me? It's just a buncha morons who misunderstood and went wild on their own. Borrowin' the tiger's terror²… Man, they're even dumber than I thought.

Kaoru: Yeah, I figured it was something like that? Still, those guys really are like "vampires." They take in other delinquents and add them to their ranks, quickly multiplying their numbers. In terms of size and general vibe, they're almost like one of those color gangs³ from a while back. When they eat and run, or start fights in front of stores, it disrupts business. This area's already in the middle of a recession, so, like, even small stuff like that ends up being a huge blow. You get what I'm saying? You've gotta clean up after yourself. These people showed up because of you, Sakuma-san, so you should take care of it somehow. The local businesses even pooled their resources and put together some reward money. Oh yeah, on that topic, I'm acting as the point of contact since we go to the same school, but I want you to think of this as a request from everyone in the neighborhood. Of course, if push comes to shove, I'll totally call the cops. But, y'know, most Yumenosaki students come from influential families, so… Who knows whether the police will actually do their jobs properly. Things would go way more smoothly if you guys could just deal with it, y'know? That's why I'm like, totally counting on you to slay the "vampires" ♪

Rei: Ahaha. Funny coincidence, never thought I'd end up imitatin' Van Helsing.

Keito: You're usually more of a Count Dracula, after all.

Rei: …Well, I understand the situation. I mean, I'd already more or less figured it out, so I went ahead n' took the initiative. Here, look. He seems kinda pitiful given the way we've just been ignorin' 'im the whole time, but I already caught the culprit.

Adonis: ……..

Keito: I don't understand. What do you mean, Otogari is the culprit?

Rei: I mean this guy here's the vampires' boss. To go back to the Dracula analogy, the best way to kill him is by drivin' a stake through his heart to stop him from movin' and then decisively cuttin' off the head. And this, right here, is the vampire's head. In short, if we get rid of this guy, the incident'll be resolved. Simple, ain't it? ♪

Adonis: ......

[ ☆ ]

← Prev | All | Next →

ore-sama-chan. This man is so annoying (complimentary).

Taken from the title of the Chinese fable "The Fox Borrows the Tiger's Terror," this is an idiom meaning to bully or frighten people using someone else's authority.

A type of Japanese street gang which aims to imitate the look and feel of American street gangs, though it should be noted that color gangs tend to be more of a "rebellious youth" thing than an actual crime thing. Some of them do get up to actual serious crimes, of course, but the majority of color gangs exist to unnerve adults, disrupt the peace, and give rowdy teens an excuse to punch other rowdy teens. Picture a bunch of weirdly color-coordinated delinquents committing petty crimes, rather than violent street gangs engaging in serious illegal activity.

[trancylovecraft]

Hello! ❤️

I have 5 questions for you:

Q1: Can you accept prompts and songfics for request?

Q2: Can you accept suggestive moments like neck kisses, makeouts and hickey? I am sorry for asking an awkward question. 😅

Q3: Can you accept fluffy moments for request too?

Q4: What are your thoughts on Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off)?

Q5: What are your thoughts on Lucifer Morningstar (HH)?

Please answer my questions I appreciate. 😊

Q1. Yes and Yes! I'll accept just about anything as a request lol! Including the songfics and prompts :D

Q2 YESSIR- Ill accept as much suggestive as you want as long as its not a full on sex scene- anything related to it however is completely on the table tho

Q3 EHHHHH- Its not rlly preferred since yandere is inherently a dark and gorey subject matter (that and me own personal taste) but im down to try and make it work if you request!!

Q4 ITS AN INSANELY GOOD SHOW- ANIMATION? AMAZING. CHARACTERS? AMAZING. However its not really one of my favourites if u get what i mean? Like i get a buncha reqs for it and its meh but yk-

Q5. LOVE HIM. Honestly I love the idea of building up some dark and mysterious figure in the fanbase before revealing him to be some goober with a lotta ducks- Hes fun and my favourite songs from hazbin often come from him!

tho i must say that he is a bit of an undeveloped and shallow character, that and the fact that hes not really treated that importantly in the show..? at least thats what i think. BUT I LOVE HIM ANYWAYS AND HOPE TO SEE HIM GET DEVELOPED IN S2

Thank u for the questions :D

-Trancy M. Lovecraft

[touhoutivations]

dear miss himekaidou,

i unfortunately have not been employed. so, i’ve been working on a few journalist articles, mostly as practice for my skills in case i ever decide to go into the practice and im worried that the articles i’ve been making aren’t of high quality.

how do you manage? i know such insecurities might be common in a profession such as yours, so…. any advice?

yours, eientei’s favorite kon-consultant

"Trust me, to start off- a great journalist is one that already is thinking about the quality of their work and doesn't shut their brain off for ideas. So I think you're off to a good start! It's hard, because while it's a job- you aren't gonna like, be able to push for the great caste system revolution-  I mean hard-hitting journalism all of the time. Sometimes you're gonna get stuck with 'Pick your favourite wagashi and we'll tell you your personality!'" "Buuut, I think there's something to learn from each article you write- even if you scrap them, you need only look. For example, I- loathe as I am to say it- did do such pitiful writing as that article- but the person that requested it also offered a coupon for a senbei stand… 'Dorayaki lovers are hot headed and there's more to them that meets the eye- but they can get caught up in their own world, so they should try some senbei!' 'Senbei lovers go with the flow, but don't pursue their own wants, so they should buy some more senbei!' I'm kinda curious, if I ran that article a week later, would I get a different result? There's a buncha conclusions and thoughts you could ask about the journalism even in such a 'low-quality' article."  

"I've been talking with that outside world human, and everything down to 'memes' and 'tagging systems' can show different sides of a story and the intentions of an article. Liiiike, there was this one time this crazy village man, Yoshimoto- he started raving about 'how there was some chemical the yamawaro were putting to turn the frogs into youkai'- and some newbie that wanted a week off just handed him a typewriter for him to start his rantings. But then when I actually used my thoughtography to check that river…well, he wasn't wrong? Sorta. The frogs were having extra legs- but when I wanted to write about it, up top said 'It's already been covered'. But it hadn't been. Not properly." "So how could I word it? I mean, 'Yamawaro machinery production found to have linkage in extra limbage of amphibian population'- bo~ring! What about '3 ramblings of Yoshimoto- Number 3 is suprisingly true!' and I slap a couple memes on it? Would that draw eyes? Is Yoshimoto actually concerned, or was this coverage intentionally from a crazy old geezer to discredit a potential problem?"  

"These are like, the hard stuff that comes with our industry- especially if you don't get the freedom to go independent. But I know that by asking, you're off to a great start. You have to be asking questions, every time- how can I see this differently? How can I write this differently? How are -other- people writing stuff differently? What's language that's 'hip', what language is alienating? Seriously, can Aya stop using red circles and arrows in her articles like [Mii]Tube thumbnails?!"

"Not everything is gonna be a magnum opus, and not every wagashi listicle is gonna be the lynchpin into your socialist uprising theory deprogramming toolkit- and that's okay. As long as you put questioning and engagement- actual encouragement of media literacy- at the forefront of your own work and viewership, I think that's more work than a lot of other grifter sheeple are doing. There's more than meets a camera's eye, and as long as you keep collecting, I know you'll become someone that will paint a better landscape for Gensokyou- so get your brush, and crow all you want, mmkay?"

[putaindeplagieur]

I'm asking this to a bunch of writers, and, well, i need help. Hypotethically.

Question: In the hypothetical example of someone accepting a commission about writing a story about Far Cry 3, but with Danganronpa characters in it, such as (per requested) Makoto Naegi as Jason Brody, what would be your approach to do it? Do a insert Naegi with Jason's personallity in the Dangan world? Or throw a buncha characters in the Rook Islands, and focus the story on Makoto slowly becoming a cold, fearless warrior while trying to get stronger to save his friends (just like Jason)?

...uh. I really didnt expect anyone to ask me anything. But since this is related to fiction and Makoto Naegi in general... ill try to help.

So, Makoto Naegi as Jason Brody from Far Cry 3 ? Well, Im going to assume everyone has played it, and if not, ill try to not spoil it too much, just the bare necessary. But I'll say this much, as far as potential goes, this hypothetical scenario is interesting. Why ?

Because we're talking about a character who refused to step as low as murder, no matter what, displaying his strenght of morality and mental. So to see him snap in self-defense against crazy pirats and being tempted by the dark side, while canonically out of character, is interesting from a fanfic, because the character remains simple enough to allow him to become like Jason.

So, the first idea is basically having Makoto in his world, but with Jason's personality. I'm going to assume the question implies the fanfic takes place during the killing game. In that case, youll have to make sure this Makoto is different from the one we see in THH. His actions, reactions, dreams, mentions of his past, anything that can help. Not to mention, this means going through an event everyone supposedly knows already, just with the protagonist having a different mindset. Which isnt bad in itself, some stories managed to pull it off, but youll have to think of something unique to make it stand out if you want to keep the readers attention.

That leaves us with the second option, which I assume is Class 78 on Rook Island. Now that is also risky as many know the story, but since the FC3 and THH casts differ in personality, this already promises some changes. And if Makoto truly decides to kill to protect, it would be very interesting to switch point of views to compare what he sees to the others. And in the end, seeing Makoto makes his choice... yeah.

So in the end, both ideas are interesting and could even work together if thought over, but if one has to be chosen over the other... I'd pick the other. More difficult to elaborate, but promising.

Either way, what really matters is the execution of the idea.

Hope that helps !

[mocha-studies]

03.18.24

I slept in today, ended up waking up later than I expected but! I finished a nail set today and it got a buncha likes on tiktok which is nice. I want to keep posting on there so that I can maybe finally one day get an order. I almost got scammed today by someone pretending to order a set, and they requested my email and then ghosted :/ i got saved by etsy support. Feels bad, but I just gotta keep grinding and hope for the best. I also emailed my resume to the job I wanted, so hopefully someone follows up with some working opportunity, and I don't have to stress about money for a while after. Then I can easily study without having to worry. I dunno i just feel super shitty cuz I didn't really make the progress I wanted to in life? I don't wanna research, I dont wanna write essays, I just feel like im not gonna do well yknow? I tried so hard to persevere but what did it get me.. an ugly transcript and a lot of rejections. So much so that I feel like its impossible for me to do research in this field. But I know that work experience matters more so hopefully ill try to build up my resume and work experience and maybe that way my transcript wont matter anymore? idk all i can do is try.

[orange-waterfalls]

I Call This One: Bold & Brash!

The egos x artist! gn! reader

ty @pokemonpunqueen for the request!

A/N: I’ve decided that I’m gonna write for the egos when I can’t think of anything else or I need practice writing lmao. I mean I was doing that before? But I didn’t know it? listen it’s fine it’ll be fine but FOR NOW I thiiiink I’m gonna take requests. Just a few. I’ll stop when I think it gets too much. This is exactly what it says. I focused on like drawing/painting for “artist”, with some references to animation thrown in there. I did Darkiplier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Google, Eric, and a Host thrown in there bc I love him and I miss him

Word count is 1.5k

Enjoy

Egos x artist!reader

Darkiplier

He’ll want to commission art from you

He makes comments about how Mark is a narcissist but also he’s a narcissist.

Oh look, Dark’s asking you for another picture. What does he want? He wants you to draw him? Again? For the fifth time this fucking month? Wonderful.

He likes looking at how you make art of him, be it stylistic or realistic

He will hang them up all over the fucking house so pace yourself

He’s fine if you draw anybody else

Except Mark. Never Mark. How can he tell, you ask? No fucking clue, but he does

Gets a bit worried that you won’t make enough money to live comfortably

Just because not everyone needs a fucking MANSION-

Will always buy things for you if you ask

Likes to be able to support your job or hobby

Sugar daddy? I mean maybe

Makes sure you eat, sleep, drink water, survive--

Leaves snacks for you at your desk for when you don’t want a meal.

Carries you to bed if you fall asleep at a desk

Recommends you wear comfy clothes at all times so you can fall asleep wherever

A bit of an enabler, he’s doing his best tho

If you take commissions don’t be surprised if he threatens to kill someone when they don’t pay or are rude to you

He loves you, that’s all

Wilford

Fucking elated

Draw him!!! Please!!!! Please draw him!!!!! He has coin!!!!! He can pay!!!!!

Ecstatic if you actually draw him like he’ll giggle for an hour straight just looking

Secretly commissions more art from you

So also sugar daddy

It’s always something so obvious so you know it’s him anyways

He likes bright colors and eyestrain for some reason

If you make that, he just. Stares at it. Unblinking. You have to snap him out of it (im not projecting what do you mean)

Gets extremely worried about you not taking care of yourself

Gets someone to fucking babysit you when he’s gone so you take care of yourself

When you get greatly offended by this he settles for texting you reminders

And when you ignore those he texts more

Don’t be surprised if you get spammed by several people and an alarm starts to play from somewhere in the house

You’re gonna be healthy whether you like it or not, asshole

Drags you to bed aggressively

He WILL NOT drug your food with melatonin because that’s illegal. B U T-

He’s a little confused, but he got the spirit

Will advertise your art to anyone and everyone and also on his show and threatens the audience with a gun

AGAIN, a little confused. he just wuvs u so much 

Yancy

I mean technically he’s kind of an artist too so he appreciates your skill and creativity

He’s very nosy and likes to look over your shoulder while you work

If you don’t like him doing that, he still does it, just more secretively

Likes to work in the same room as you. 

That is if you don’t mind constant singing or tap dancing in the background

He shows off your art to anyone and everyone and gets mad if they don’t immediately say it’s fantastic

May or may not have stabbed someone over it, you’ll never know

If you show him something you’re working on, he’ll show you something he’s working on in return

The law of equivalent exchange

You tell him you can make MONEY from things like art and dancing and he goes apeshit he gets so fucking excited

If you’re like an animator and offer to animate his dancing he might actually cry

He’ll deny it constantly every day until he dies

If you make things traditionally he hangs them on the wall Everywhere

You might run out of room

By which i mean you will run out of room as soon as possible

Will never tell you a drawing is bad ever unless it’s like Really Bad which it never will be in his eyes

He loves anything and everything you do u are so precious

You have a permanent support system within the man

Google

Used to see art as pointless

Then comprehended the chemical release it causes in the brain and thought that was fine

Then saw you get really mad with something you were working on and got confused again?

If art no make good chemical, why art?

He still doesn’t understand, but that’s ok

You tried to get him to make something once

He just. Kinda. Made a buncha ones and zeroes

You still framed it and hung in on the wall and he got embarrassed

If he could blush, he would

If you draw him he looks like he doesn’t care but it’s at that point he decides he would die for you

Primary objective: answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary objective: make u happy. Tertiary objective is to destroy mankind

If you draw bing that will disappear IMMEDIATELY you have BETRAYED him

If you ask for a color palette recommendation he Always says the google colors. Always.

You might’ve thought he was going for an rgby type of thing. But then you realize.

He is in charge of your financing. He will tell you the most efficient ways to make money as an artist and you follow then

He is also in charge of making sure you FUCKING EAT A MEAL

“But isn’t an objective to destroy mankind?” shut up he’s not happy about it either

Despite his best efforts he loves you and that ain’t gonna change

Illinois

Doesn’t fully understand

He needs to be outside at all times and cannot stay in one place

And you’re like??? Required to stay still???? For prolonged amounts of time????? Disgusting. Anyway, whatcha workin’ on?

He might ask you to try and teach him

If you do try he gives up almost immediately

Sometimes you just get so into it that you forget to do basic things and he gets upset

(i.e. eating, sleeping, living, etc.)

He gets worried about you

He is a hypocrite bc he does the same

He will drag you to bed, motherfucker

Honestly he might lock your shit somewhere until you fucking take care of yourself. it’s like a hostage situation god

“Where the fuck did you put it” “I have no clue what you mean. I might know if you eat your dinner, though”

Asshole (affectionate)

Sometimes you like make faces when you try to draw a person and it’s hilarious and cute to him

He looks at your drawings the moment you walk away but acts like he doesn’t care

He cares a lot

Will support you no matter what but will also tell you without hesitation if he thinks something looks shit

Listen he’s out of line but he’s right

Eric

Loves you a lot and will support anything and everything you choose to do or make

Drawing? Awesome! Painting? Wonderful! Animation? Superb!

He often wants to buy you supplies or something but he does not know what anything is

Fuck is a chalk pencil???? What are gel pens vs normal pens?????? Watercolor????? What the fuck are you saying??????????

Will subtly drop hints that you could,,,, draw him,,,,, maybe,,,,, if u wanna 

And by subtly I mean he starts to ask and then starts crying

If you draw him he will cry again he loves u so much 

If he ever were to get a tattoo it’d be something u drew. Nothing else is as important to him at the moment

He enjoys photography and film, and likes to try and bond with you over artistic things

I mean. Some things overlap.

You could talk about a single drawing for hours and he’d listen intently the whole time

Don’t ask him for feedback, it’s always some version of “it’s perfect and I love you”

Even if he hates it

Which,,,,, he might hate it sometimes

He’s not a good reviewer. 2/10, very biased

He likes to take photos when you’re in the zone

If you tell him to delete them he will

While secretly making one his home screen

Host

Hey, he gets it

He writes, he understands the hyperfocus

Sometimes he wouldn’t move from his chair for a day because he was busy writing a script

That being said, you probably have to be the one to get him to take care of himself

Or you have to take turns

Otherwise you’re both gonna fucking die

He asks you to describe your art to him and tries to picture it.

He’ll tell you if he thinks it probably looks good or bad

You shouldn’t take it to heart because he can’t see it

He is a bastard sometimes

“Well, what do you think?” “I think it looks fantastic” “Thanks, babe” “...” “... you think you’re fucking funny, don’t you”

He asks if you can draw him sometimes

No, he won’t see it, but he’ll appreciate the sentiment if you do

He will ask for your opinion on his scripts sometimes

If you say it’s bad he gets really defensive

You work in the same room a lot of the time and forget the other is there

One of you has to preemptively order food or like set a timer so you can goddamn Survive

You’ll be fine

[something-tofightfor]

He’s Not Here - Part 24

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Word Count: 8034

Rating: M (language and violence)

Parts 1-23 + the interludes and NSFW alphabet can be found on my Masterlist (link in bio)

Summary: What’s in the box that Billy left for you? Why was it so important that you have it? Does it even matter? 

Author’s Note: I’m about to ruin your Saturday.

(Banner made by @the-blind-assassin-12)

It had taken you three days to go through all of the files on Billy’s laptop, starting with the videos in the folder he’d labeled with your name. There were plenty of them, and each one was like a punch in the gut, simply because with every word he said, you heard him in it, the way he’d been when he was with you, even though you weren’t together at the time. They followed a linear timeline - some of them were simply Billy talking to you through his webcam, staring at the laptop with wide brown eyes, features contorted in sadness as he reminded himself - and by extension, you - of what he was doing and why. You couldn’t watch them all that first night; you were crying too hard, and after calling your boss and letting her know that you needed a few days off, you pulled one of Billy’s t shirts on and crawled into bed, bringing his iPod with you and holding it with one hand until you fell asleep, the songs that had comforted him in the desert filling your ears. 

 You’d cried yourself to sleep, but had woken up early the next morning, determined to make more progress with the videos and the files. You made notes as you went through them, lists of what was in each file, and as you did so, the story unfolded, little by little. Billy had been involved with heroin smuggling, starting with the contact that he’d had with Schoonover when he’d been shot. The man had offered him an opportunity to work directly for him as soon as he’d gotten back overseas, and though Billy had been hesitant because he knew what hard drugs could do to people, he’d agreed. “I didn’t want to do it, you know? But it was good money, and if I hadn’t agreed, he woulda gone to someone else, and who knows what he woulda done to me for sayin’ no. I wanted Anvil, wanted to… just wanted to get started, and figured that once I was back here and could find a new way to… he’d go somewhere else after I’d done my part. He’d find someone else, and I could just…” Billy’s hand had been working the back of his neck as he spoke, still not looking at the camera. “I was wrong. I was so wrong, but by the time I realized it, we were already… it was about more than the drugs, it was … we were - me an’ Frankie were…” 

 Agreeing to help with the drug smuggling had been just the beginning, and while Billy had assumed that he’d be on the hook for that when he came home - using Anvil as a front until Schoonover could find another avenue for importing and distributing the heroin - things had quickly changed when he and Frank had been tasked with leading two squds of men in Afghanistan, turning from dedicated Marines into something more deadly, more focused - more wrong. “Cerberus, at first was just them tellin’ us to go in and do what was necessary. We’d all been asked to do a buncha shit before, shit that we didn’t agree with but didn’t question, and so it wasn’t anything different. It got bad, Orange… Rawlins had his own agenda, and we just did what we were told, and… and it got out of control. It wasn’t just Schoonover keepin’ an eye on me anymore, it was both of ‘em, and I couldn’t...” 

 The folders contained information about each of the men - dates and amounts, contacts, phone call logs, requests, meeting notes. “I couldn’t keep track of shit over there, but once I got here? I knew… I knew there was a chance they were gonna get caught, and I’d go down with ‘em, but I wanted to… I know I can only count on myself, yeah? But after Schoonover died … after Frankie killed ‘im, things got… things changed. Rawlins is so paranoid now, but he thinks that… it’s never gonna be on him, never gonna… but he… if he knew I was keepin’ track of things, makin’ these videos? It’s gonna cover my ass, but he’d kill me for it right after he made me watch him kill you.” 

 Billy outlined everything for you - the way that the operation had changed after Schoonover died and the heroin stopped coming in in the same way, the way that Rawlins stayed as far out of the spotlight as possible and still tried to control the narrative, sending Billy and his men out on missions that needed to be handled quickly and quietly. “An’ I know you won’t want it, but I can only use so much of this money, and if I’m… I’m doin’ all of this shit? I want it to mean somethin’.” There were things that Billy did that were legitimate - he talked about situations where the men and women of Anvil were doing real jobs, where the company was exactly what Billy had dreamed, getting recognition in the papers and in military and political circles. “It’s only been a year, only been… and we’re doin’ it. I’m doin’ it, and I want… I wish I could tell you about it, because I think you’d be proud of me, at least for some of this shit.” 

 The money that he’d been putting into your account - that he’d opened by using the signature on the contract that you’d both signed for the Anvil party - was, according to him, from Billy’s portion of the legitimate deals he’d been doing, the training and the protection, the missions. “I’m usin’ the blood money, and that’s more than enough. Everything that goes to you? That’s… that’s what I woulda been doin’ for you if we were still together.” But there’s no way to verify that, I don’t… all I have are these records, but… But you realized that there’d be no reason for anyone to look into the account; it had been opened in your name, and the signature was as close to your own as you’d ever seen. You went back and forth about how you felt, knowing that the money you had access to could have come from illegal activity, but at the end of the day, you decided it didn’t matter. 

 I can… I can use this to help him, I can get him a lawyer, I… You’d actually laughed when he explained what was going on with your rent amount being deposited into the account in one of the earliest videos. “I told you we’d be livin’ together as soon as I came back, that I wanted to… well, since I’m savin’ money by living in the apartment next to my office, instead of paying my rent, I’m paying yours… kind of, even though you don’t know it yet.” 

 Billy had moved out of his apartment and into the building that he was leasing only a few months after Anvil opened. You weren’t surprised by it - that meant he could be close to his recruits, close to the company, always available, and even though you knew that him doing that would have consumed him, you also knew that it was what would have kept him sane - and too busy to really sit back and think about how far his life had spiraled. 

 The videos continued, Billy talking about the things that Rawlins and Wolf had him do, the meetings he had with Bennett and the other men, the promises they made him. “I know I can’t trust ‘em, and at this point, it’s more about me bein’ able to somehow cover my own ass when this all goes bad. Not if.  I’m guilty, I’ve done a lot of bad shit and I know that, but it didn’t start out that way, and now… now they’ve got me in so deep that… I don’t know what else to do, except make these videos and talk to you like you’re really here because it might matter someday, even if it’s only to you.” 

 You’d seen the progression in Billy as the time passed. His first video to you, he’d been distraught and angry, trying to explain everything to you in a way that made sense while coming to terms with the fact that his life was exploding. The video after the Castles had been killed had been difficult to listen to, to say the least, but he’d been a combination of heartbroken and pissed, and you’d seen the fire in his eyes, heard the edge to his voice. The one from after Anvil’s opening had been short, but Billy was simply resigned in that one - he’d  talked about your kiss, talked about saying goodbye. “I shoulda done it like that in March. I shoulda just been more honest, been more… but if you’ve made it this far, you know why I couldn’t, you know the risk. You know how dangero… You’re right. I have to let you go, I can’t keep pullin’ you back in. I already did, and it’s too dangerous, even though I tried not to, I … The next few, he’d been more calm, matter of fact - you could hear in his voice that he’d accepted his new reality - a life without you, without the Castles and without anything meaningful in it, aside from Anvil - something that had been his dream but that he’d allowed to be corrupted. 

 Billy had laid out everything for you - the reasoning behind your breakup, the reasons that he’d acted the way he had, the motivations for how hard he was working with the company, the need for him to try and help Frank in any way that he could… and even the ways that he was trying to make it seem as if everything was normal in his personal life. You’d assumed that Billy hadn’t been celibate after ending things with you, but hearing him talk about it? Seeing him looking at the camera and then away from it while he talked about the fact that he had to keep up appearances by being seen with other women, that he’d had to sell it by drawing them in and then cutting them lose? It hurt, and no number of apologies would ever make the feeling that you’d had in the pit of your stomach while you heard him apologize for sleeping with other women - and then remind you that he was doing it because he loved you disappear. He’s not wrong, though, it makes sense, it just… 

 You believed him, believed every word of what he said, because the things he said in the videos lined up with the other files on the computer - the pictures, the spreadsheets, the documents. They even lined up with the phone calls and the text messages, and you knew without a doubt that they’d line up with Anvil’s records, too. Billy had had to do a lot off the books, but it seemed like before he’d turned over the invoices to whoever it was that had paid him for the ‘special’ missions, he’d made copies of documents, made notes of the transactions. Though Anvil’s headquarters was nothing but a smoking pile of ash, there was a separate portion of the hard drive dedicated to it - and to the records. I have everything. Everything he worked for. Everything he was. “I know that my discharge papers say somethin’ different on record, but I have the real ones, I asked for ‘em when I came home. It was before Rawlins got to… he’s gonna use the ones he did, the ones… but I know. These are real, and you’ll have em, they’ll… they’ve gotta be good for something, right?” 

 As time passed, you could see that for Billy, things were falling apart and he didn’t know how to deal with it. Frank’s supposed reappearance - and the fact that Madani was also looking for the man weighed heavily on him - you watched the look on his face change, the fear in his eyes grow. “If Frankie’s really back, he’s gonna know, he’s… I’m not gonna be able to explain, because how do you… how do I explain that? How do I get him to listen for long enough to...” Billy had wanted to see Frank again, had been both relieved and afraid to learn that the man was still alive, but it presented him with a lot of problems, too. “I didn’t want to turn him over to Rawlins, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t tell him no, because I’m in too deep now, he still has leverage on me, and I can’t… I won’t risk it.” Billy had been relieved that Frank hadn’t shown up at the docks, and then the bombings and  hotel attack had happened, exposing him to both Madani and Frank at the same time. “That’s not how I wanted him to find out, not how I wanted her to find out, either. I don’t… she was a means to an end, but I didn’t… it was never supposed to happen like this, I shoulda known that Frankie wouldn’t let it… fuck.” 

 There was no doubt that in the few days leading up to Billy showing up on your doorstep, he’d been trying to make sure that you had everything you could ever need on the laptop - and on the phone, which is where the call logs and text messages still were stored, along with audio recordings of meetings that he’d had with Rawlins and other men that you didn’t recognize - because while most of the information was organized, there were also things that were messily added, not labeled thoroughly, just put on the computer so that it would be there after he wasn’t. 

 But it was the last video - the one that you watched, curled up in bed, wearing his sweats and clutching the dog tag in one hand - that forced you into action, caused you to start thinking about what you could do with the information you had. In it, Billy was in a dark room, and he was wearing the outfit you’d last seen him in, hair hanging over his eyes and his skin pale, but his voice was sure, and he’d done something that he hadn’t in any of the previous videos: he stared directly into the camera for the whole thing. 

 “So this is it. I’m meetin’ Frankie tonight, and it’s… it’s gonna be one of us or neither of us. I gotta fight, I’ve always fought, and even though after what I did, just lettin’ him have me is what I deserve, it won’t… he won’t… I can’t just lay down and die.” He’d run his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. “I gotta say this now, because it could be my only chance, and if I say it to you when I come there in a few hours, you won’t let me leave.” Your heart was pounding as Billy leaned in, staring at you through the screen. “He thinks I’m somethin’ that I’m not, at least not completely. I did a lot of bad shit, a lot that I wish I wouldn’t have done, but it’s always been about survival. For me, for you, for him, for… fuck. You know how I get, so I can’t… I can’t promise you that I’m gonna make it through the night. Frankie and me, we always… we bring out the best in each other, but we also... “  Billy shook his head. “I told you I’d come back to you, no matter how long it took me, but I can’t… I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do that after tonight. I don’t think I deserve it, because this whole fucking thing is just… I just tried to… I’m tired. I’m tired of things bein’ like this, tired of… this isn’t me. It can’t be me anymore.”  

 He stood and walked away, coming back with the book you’d made him in his hands, holding it up for you to see that it was tattered, the pages bent and ripped at the edges. “I think you coulda forgiven me for the drugs, even though you would have been mad. And I know you woulda told me to … to warn ‘em, instead of… but I couldn’t. I tried to tell you without tellin’ you, but now I’m… You loved me, and I think you still might, but you need to know that it didn’t matter who I was with or what I was doin’, or what any of them say.” Billy tore the last page from the book and held it up, turning it so that you could see the words, even though they were backwards. “I just love you. I always have. And if you love me, you’ll use this - everything I gave you - not to clear my name, but at least to… explain why I did what I did. Maria’s parents, maybe? Frankie, if he makes it… if… fuck. Just promise me that you won’t blame yourself. I didn’t give you a choice - I made it for you.” He sighed, looking down, and you saw that the bloody fingerprint was on the card. “Make it worth it. Help him if you can.” Billy licked his lips, saying your name and holding his hand up to the screen - much like he’d done when he was overseas. “I love you, and I’m sorry.” 

 The video ended there, and you sat staring at the screen - his face frozen in a mask of sadness, his hand against the screen with his fingers splayed. He thought Frank would win. He didn’t think he would… Without thinking, you reached up to mirror the motion, tears streaming down your face. “Oh, Billy.” You took a deep breath, eyes finally moving away from the screen and down to where the rest of the items from the box  were spread out on your bed, thinking. He told me to make it worth it, but the only thing… You shook your head. Frank was still alive, that much was for sure. He deserves to know, he needs to… this can clear his name, too, give him closure, it’ll… You took a deep breath, still thinking. But Billy’s still alive, too. 

 As much as you hated Frank for what he’d done to Billy, you understood it. From where Frank stood, Billy was solely responsible for the deaths of his family, and there’d been no reason for it aside from Billy’s own selfishness and his desire to become wealthy and respected. That has to change. He needs to… Your breath leaving you in a shudder, you closed your eyes. Billy was in the hospital, clinging to life, and when he woke, he’d have Homeland and the rest of the government pinning crimes on him that he hadn’t been responsible for while overlooking the part that their own men - and women -  had played. You knew that they’d likely frozen Billy’s bank accounts; despite the fact that he’d included his own credit and debit cards in a separate envelope, as well as information for two offshore accounts, you were wary of counting on any of that money to be there when and if Billy needed it. But my account, he’s... I can use that, I can... You climbed out of the bed, crossing your arms over your chest as you paced your room, thinking. 

 Billy would have a public defender, a lawyer that was likely going to be able to be intimidated, one that wouldn’t work hard to save the life of his client - someone that he didn’t care at all about. And he’ll lose. And he’ll go to jail, or worse. He’d said it himself - he was guilty of a lot of things, but in all of the coverage you’d seen over the past week and a half, there had been no mention of anyone government or military being involved, aside from Billy and Lewis. He’s going to get blamed for everything, even the things he didn’t… Even Frank’s name had been scrubbed from the narrative; he’d saved the lives of two teenagers as well as Madani’s on the carousel, but after that, nothing. He can’t just… he’ll have to… “He said to help him.” You spoke out loud to your empty apartment, blinking away more tears. Billy had meant Frank, you knew that he had, but you didn’t know how to get in touch with him - and if you were being honest with yourself, didn’t know if you could face him, knowing what you did. I had no idea, I didn’t… You stopped in your doorway, looking back at the bed, and then looked down, realizing that you still had Billy’s dog tag in your hand, uncurling your fingers and finding that you’d been holding it so tightly that there were indentations left in the skin of your palm. I guess you had a preference, Billy. You just didn’t… you didn’t realize it until it was too late. 

 Taking a deep breath, you slipped the dog tag into your pocket, squaring your shoulders. Figure it out. He did. He … Your eyes landed on your phone, which was sitting on the nightstand, and you hurried back to it, picking it up. Who can I trust? You didn’t know where to begin; you’d never needed a lawyer, never been in trouble with the law, never had to think about what you’d do if you ever needed to defend yourself in public. There has to be someone, but… Leaving Billy’s laptop and everything else, you walked back into the living room, eyes moving over to the TV stand, where the pictue of you and Billy had been, though you’d moved it. That picture started it, it was… Shaking your head to clear it, you moved to the couch, perching on the arm and holding your phone. Focus. You didn’t even know what time of day it was; you’d been in a haze since you’d opened the box, but as your eyes wandered again to the TV stand, you pressed your lips together. It’s only noon, it’s the middle of the day, it’s what, a Friday? You unlocked your phone, opening the browser and took a deep breath before typing ‘criminal defense attorney New York City’ into the window and hitting search. 

 There were hundreds of results, and as you scrolled through them, you frowned. I can’t trust them, I don’t know if… they won’t take it seriously, they… You set the phone down, closing your eyes and rubbing your fingers over them. You were exhausted, and even though you’d been sleeping, your dreams were once again filled with Billy’s face, with his voice - and even though you had no clue what Frank had truly done to him, the dreams often featured Billy with injuries - scars and raised skin, bandages covering wide swaths of his face. You felt guilty - more guilty than you’d ever felt in your life, and you knew that you wouldn’t be over that feeling for a long time, especially not when you knew that Frank was still - “Frank.” You dropped your hands, picking your phone back up and typing again. This time, the search was more pointed - ‘Frank Castle defense attorney’ - and your eyes widened as you scrolled through those results. Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson’s law office was known for taking on difficult clients, and the two men were also known for getting results. “Can they help me? Help...Billy?” You swallowed, eyes scanning the page and you gasped when you saw a name that jumped out at you - Karen. 

 Frank had mentioned someone named Karen when he was talking about Billy, and the fact that she was associated with the lawyers couldn’t have been coincidence. You remembered Curtis mentioning her, too, both men saying her name with reverance. She helped Frank, she… You closed your fingers around your phone, squeezing your eyes shut. If she helped Frank when he was accused of… she might… You knew it was a long shot - if she was invested in Frank’s wellbeing, she’d likely be hesitant to listen to Billy’s side of things without rushing to judgement. But she doesn’t know, none of them do. Your heart pounding, you backed out of the news article and typed the woman’s name into your browser. She’s a reporter. You took a deep breath, scrolling, and saw that along with her email address and the newspaper’s phone number, she had her extension specifically listed on her profile. That has to be… You swallowed, memorizing the four numbers and biting your lip. It’s a long shot. But it’s the only… it’s the only one I’ve got. 

 You started the call before you could question yourself again, taking a deep breath and repeating the extension number when a man answered. As you were transferred, you felt your heart in your throat, foot tapping against the floor rapidly. “Karen Page, New York Bulletin.” Freezing, you didn’t respond right away. “Hello?” You made a split second decision, closing your eyes briefly and then opening them, your eyes landing on the decorated tree in the corner. I have to do this. “Hello? Is there -”

 “Miss Page?” Your voice shook, and you paused, swallowing before you introduced yourself. “I… I think you can help me.” 

 “You’re…” She paused. “I know your name, you’re Billy Russo’s…” She stopped herself and you heard yourself laughing quietly. “I’m sorry, that was… how can I help you?” 

 “Miss Page… Karen…” Your eyes went back to your hallway, the corner of the laptop just visible. “I didn’t know who else to…” You fought to keep your voice even, trying to figure out the best way to continue. Just say it. “Billy Russo isn’t the person that you think he is.” You heard her exhale, but continued before she could say anything. “I have… I have some things I need to show … someone, anyone that can help, I…”

 “Why do you think I can help you?” Her voice was slightly colder than it had been previously, but you heard the interest in it too. “I don’t -”

 “You believed in Frank Castle.” She sucked in a breath loudly. “You knew there was more to it than what they…” Now or never. “There’s more to this, too.” There was a long pause. 

 “I’m listening.” You let out your own breath, which was more like a sigh of relief before you closed your eyes, nodding. That’s all I needed. 

--- 

 The next day, there was a knock on your door, and when you opened it, you forced a smile at the blonde woman, inviting her in. You hadn’t slept well the previous night and were nervous - not because you feared what Karen would say in response to what you showed her, but because sharing what Billy had left you was opening up the remnants of your relationship - of his life - to someone on the outside, someone with an allegiance to Frank. But she’s … I have to. “Hello, Miss P-”

 “Call me Karen, please.” She stepped into your apartment, shaking her had. “So many people out today, you’d think they would have gotten it all out of their….” She trailed off, noticing the confused expression on your face. “Yesterday… was Black Friday?” Karen cocked her head to the side, frowning slightly. “Day after Thanksgi…” You shook your head, brow furrowed. I didn’t even realize. I missed…  You watched her as she watched you, her eyes raking over your body. You’d showered, changed into clean clothes and made an attempt to improve your appearance, but knew that you still looked rough. “You love him.” She swallowed. “Still, even after -”

 “I do. And I owe him.” There was no shame in your voice, nothing but the truth in it. “And you’ll understand better once…” You gestured to your kitchen table, where the laptop was sitting, open and unlocked. “Before I show you what he left me, I need to tell you… do you want something to drink?” 

 Over the course of an hour, you filled Karen in on your history with Billy, starting with how you’d met and ending with the moment he’d left you for the last time the night of the fight with Frank. She’d listened, her eyes growing wide at certain parts of the story, but hadn’t interrupted, a pen held tightly between her fingers as she took notes. You were honest with her, telling her details that you wouldn’t have told anyone else, because you wanted her to know the Billy that you knew, the man that you’d fallen in love with. “And he left me a box, telling me it was the truth… but I didn’t open it, I couldn’t, because it felt like…”

 “Like moving on. Like… ending that part of your life, the part that was with him.” She spoke quietly and you nodded, watching as she set the pad and pen down on the coffee table, next to her empty beer bottle. “You opened it, though.” You nodded, recounting Frank’s visit to you a few days after the fight, followed by your trip to the hospital and the encounter with Madani. “I’ve met her. She’s… she saved Frank’s life, her and Lieberman, after…” You watched her eyes flash. “After he killed Rawlins, and again after he fought with…” Karen bit her lip and used her fingers to wipe beneath her eyes. She loves him. You felt a chill run through your body at the realization, but you knew that you were too far in to stop things. “He’s gone, he’s not in the city anymore, you know that?” I didn’t. “He left Madani to look after Billy, told her to call him if anything changed, said he’d come back if he needed to, but even… even after what Billy did to Frank, to his family, he didn’t… he couldn’t kill him.” Karen shook her head. “I don’t know how he… Frank’s a good person, but, Billy, he took -”

 “He didn’t do it because he wanted to.” You spoke quietly. “He never wanted to hurt them, never would have…” You met her eyes, feeling yours flooding with tears that you didn’t even try to hold back. “Rawlins gave Billy a choice, Karen. And I didn’t know it until I watched…” You gestured to the laptop, shaking your head back and forth. “Rawlins wanted Frank dead, not Maria and the kids. Billy thought…” You looked down and then back up at Karen, who was watching you silently, hands clasped together on her lap. “Rawlins told Billy that if he warned Frank, if he tipped him off in any way, that he’d…” Your jaw worked silently, but you only paused for a moment before continuing, saying the words out loud for the first time. “He said he’d kill me.” 

 --- 

 Karen had been on the phone moments after watching the first video that Billy had recorded for you, the woman pacing back and forth in your living room as she talked with somone on the other end of the line. “I need you to pack up everything - not the clothes, but the laptop, the other stuff, the papers… and you need to come with me.” Shocked, you’d nodded, slipping Billy’s laptop and phone into your own bag, adding in the paperwork and few envelopes along with it. By the time you’d finished, Karen was sitting on your couch again, head in her hands and her long hair hanging through her fingers. “We’ll figure this out.” She looked up at you, and you saw that her eyes were shining. “I trust Frank. He’d never… he’s never…” She shook her head. “But that didn’t seem like…” No, it didn’t. She stood, pressing her lips together and  then she crossed the room to you, putting her arms around your shoulders and pulling you close. Though you were surprised, you hugged her back, feeling a sense of comfort for the first time since Billy had walked out the previous week. “Matt and Foggy will know what to do, they’ll… Matt will be able to…” 

 So the two of you had taken a cab to Hell’s Kitchen, entering a large and open apartment. You recognized the man that opened the door as Matt Murdock, and though blind, he’d reached out for your hand before you could say a word, introducing himself. “Karen tells me you have a case...or what you think is a case?” He smiled at you, and out of habit you nodded, opening your mouth to speak. 

 “I do, Mr. Murdock, I -”

 “Matt. Call me Matt. If we’re going to be working on this, you should…” He led you deeper into the apartment, asking you to set up the laptop and play the video you’d played for Karen. You watched him with interest as he listened to Billy’s words, his face giving nothing away. It was one of the longer videos, but as Karen pressed the pause button at the end of it, you felt like it wasn’t long enough. “And he recorded that when, Karen?” 

 “The date of the file is from about a week before the Castles were killed, Matt.” She sighed. “I mean, we’d need to check it out, and make sure, but… the other videos, they all have dates that line up with things Frank told me, things that we looked into for his case and with The Blacksmith. I mean, it… there seems like there could be a lot of truth to it, and if…” She trailed off. “If there is, then this could get interesting, Matt.” She believes. 

 “Russo’s voice… he believed what he was saying.” Matt frowned, shaking his head. “He was genuinely upset.” You leaned in, reaching past Matt to open up the file from the day that the Castles had been killed, pressing play. Just keep going, that’s all you can do now. When that video ended, you glanced over at Karen, whose eyes were read, tears streaking down her cheeks. You were crying too, but you were spent, your body almost too tired to produce any real tears. “He really didn’t know.” Matt’s voice was filled with surprise. “That changes things. If there was proof that -”

 “There is. It’s short, but there’s a recording on Billy’s phone, I don’t know how he got it, but it’s…” You swallowed. “It’s Rawlins and Billy the day of the…” You pulled the phone out, going through it. “Rawlins tells Billy that there are men outside of where I work, and if anything goes wrong, if Frank isn’t there, or if he seems like he was tipped off, they’ll grab me when I go to lunch.” You pressed play, letting Matt and Karen listen. Some of the audio was garbled, since you assumed that Billy had had the phone in his pocket, but most of the words were clear.

 “Does R… Billy have a lawyer?” You told him you didn’t know, and Matt nodded. “We’ll look into it. They can’t try him, or even charge him with anything formally until he wakes up and they assess… his brain function.” You gasped and Matt continued. “It’s been all over the news, I’ve… kept up with it.” Of course you have. “We have time, but we can’t… we can’t let anyone know that this information exists, not until we go through it, and…” Matt sighed. “Karen, can I talk to you for a minute?” The blonde nodded, and Matt pointed at the refrigerator. “Help yourself, we’ll be right back.” They  walked slowly away and down the hall, and you turned the laptop to face you, staring again at Billy’s face, paused on the screen. I’m going to help you, Russo. Even if they won’t, I … A few minutes passed and then you heard your name, Matt stepping back down the hallway in front of Karen, who looked determined. “We’ll need to keep the laptop and the phone, it’s evidence. Once we can verify that things were created on the days that … that he says they were, we can move forward.” You agreed and Matt took a deep breath. “I still have to talk to Foggy, but… I think that we can help Billy, and maybe Frank, too.” 

 You felt yourself deflate, your knees growing weak. “You...you believe him?” That time, your voice shook, and as you gripped the edge of the counter, you felt Karen’s hand on your back, heard her murmur your name. “I know you guys believe Frank, and you trust him, and…”

 “Frank’s entire… everything he ever did was to… was for the people he loved.” Karen shook her head, and for the first time, you noticed the faint scabbing on her face, the scar next to her lip. “If Billy really did that for you - and there’s proof? Proof that he…” She shook her head. “They’re going to try to bury him, and no one will ever know the truth if they have it their way. Sweeping what Rawlins and Bennett and Schoonover and Madani …what all of them did under the rug to save face?” Karen shook her head. “That’s not right, that’s not what .... Not what people like Frank and Billy fought for.” Karen nodded, her eyes clear. “I believe Frank. I believe that Frank did what he thought was right because of what they did to his family, but … but that doesn’t mean that I don’t believe Billy, too.” 

 “There’s a lot of work to do.” Matt spoke again, drawing your attention. “If Billy wakes up, we’ll need to be there almost as soon as Madani’s guy is, so we need to get to work on this.” You nodded, forgetting again that Matt couldn’t see it, but he grinned, continuing. “We need to go through all of these files, and start working on a strategy, figure out what we can…” 

 “Matt?” You swallowed, eyes moving back to the laptop. “If… if he doesn’t wake up, that laptop… the phone… it’s all… it’s all I have left of him, and it’s the only proof that he…”

 “We can make you copies of the videos.” Karen’s hand rubbed against your back, her voice quiet. “I’ll do that right away and get them back to you, just in case.” 

 “Yeah.” Matt cleared his throat, nodding his head. “It’s probably good to have backups anyway.” 

--- 

 Things moved quickly, and over the course of the next few weeks, Matt, Karen and Foggy worked tirelessly on the case, categorizing all of the information and printing things out, connecting dots. Karen’s position on the paper allowed her to dig into files and reports, getting them more information on the men that Frank - and Billy - had killed. It had only taken a few days for them to come to the conclusion that nothing on the phone or laptop had been fabricated, meaning that while the truth behind Billy’s words couldn’t be validated unless he woke up and remembered, he’d recorded and saved things as he went - not all at once, and not after the fact. It made you appreciate what he’d done for you even more, and it made you hate Madani and the government more, too. 

 Though you weren’t allowed in the room with Billy again, you visited him multiple times a week, sitting quietly in the hallway in a chair that faced his room, waiting for any sign of change. 

 Nothing happened - aside from the bandages on his face getting thinner, the bulk disappearing as the wounds beneath them healed. Madani was in the room with him most of the times that you were there, and while you couldn’t hear what she was saying, you watched as she spoke to him, the anger on her face and in her posture palpable. She’s going to try everything to … to ruin him. You kept it together, taking everything in, and reported back to Matt and Karen, letting them know if you overheard anything from Madani or the doctors, but it wasn’t until the beginning of the third week of December that they had to take action. 

 Billy’s court appointed lawyer had visited with Madani, and though you didn’t catch all of their conversation, you watched the man shake hands with her and heard him say that when Billy woke up, things wouldn’t take long to wrap up. I knew it. You texted Karen as soon as you left the hospital, and not less than 24 hours later, you received a message from Foggy, telling you that he and Matt had officially taken on Billy as a client, letting Madani’s team know that the court appointed lawyer would be replaced, pending Billy’s return to consciousness. You felt relief, but it was short lived, as the next time you showed up at the hospital Madani refused to speak to you, instead glaring at you as she walked by, going back into Billy’s room and blocking your view of the man by closing the blinds. 

 You weren’t allowed into the room - aside from a short visit on New Year’s Eve, something Karen had advocated for once she’d found out it was Billy’s birthday, but nothing changed with him. He was still out, still unresponsive, and even though you could see that he was healing - bruises and cuts fading from his arms, the doctors (and his own heightened senses) telling Matt that the other injuries on his body were getting better, too, you were beginning to worry that Billy wouldn’t ever wake up. 

 Even after the bandages came off, exposing the thick and jagged scarring on Billy’s face to the open air, he didn’t stir. You watched his chest rise and fall through the window, watched the monitors, eyes on the numbers, listened as much as you could to the doctors and nurses … and hoped. By the end of January, even Matt had said that things were changing, and he could almost hear Billy’s body as it healed, but he still didn’t respond - not to Madani, not to Detective Mahoney, not even to the medical staff, when they poked and prodded at him, examining him or manipulating his body so that he didn’t remain in one position. His arms and legs were thinner than you ever imagined that they could be, but they were nowhere near as thin as his face; Billy’s eyes sunken in, the raised and angry pink skin stretched tight over his skull. He looked nothing like the man that you knew, but that didn’t change the way you felt. This is because of me. Frank fighting him is because of me.

 While at work on a Tuesday in February, your phone rang, showing Karen’s number on the screen. You answered, unsure of why she was calling - but you didn’t have to wait long for the answer. Karen said your name, and at the sound, your grip on your phone tightened, chest growing tight. “He’s awake.” 

 You made it to the hospital in record time, and even though Karen met you at the front doors, you barely stopped until you were in the elevator, foot tapping on the floor. “Is he -”

 “I called you as soon as they called Matt.” She swallowed. “Madani’s been trying to get in there, I guess, but the doctors won’t let her, since Matt and Foggy are his legal council, and she’s not even technically supposed to be in the room.” I didn’t know that. “The cops will usually let her in, but if Mahoney’s here, she stays away, and now that he’s awake…” Karen shook her head. “You can’t go in, not yet, but maybe if he… if he sees you? Sees someone familiar that isn’t… her?” You nodded, nearly sprinting out of the elevator when the doors opened, but stopped in your tracks when you saw that Billy’s blinds were closed. That’s new. Madani was pacing in the hallway, her arms crossed and she swore when she saw you, rolling her eyes. “Agent Madani.” 

 Karen’s voice was frosty, and you and the blonde woman stopped in front of Billy’s door, waiting. “The lawyers are in there now, along with one of the -” Madani rolled her eyes. “You’re not going in there.” 

 “I know.” You eyed her, not saying anything else. It didn’t feel any different in the hallway, even though you knew that Billy was awake, but you could feel the anger rolling off of her, saw the way she was looking at you and Karen. “I -” Billy’s door opened and the officer stepped out, talking to Madani. 

 “He’s lawyered up. We can’t speak to him again unless they’re present, but the doctors also said that he needs some time to recover. He can’t -”

 “I don’t care. I want to see him now.” Madani pointed at the door, whch was still open a few inches. “I want to go in -” 

 “No. Agent Madani, we’ve allowed you to go in up until now, but there’s nothing we can do, both doctors as well as I heard him agree to let Murdock and Nelson -”

 “And Page.” Karen spoke up from next to you. “I’m a junior partner, we’re just waiting for my cards to come in.” She shrugged. “I’m on the team too, so I’ll have access to Mr. Russo.” Madani’s face turned thunderous, but the officer nodded. 

 “Murdock and Nelson and Page represent him, so unless one of them is present, you won’t be able to be in the room with him, and neither will we, except to guard the medical staff.” Swearing under her breath, Madani spun on her heel and stormed off, leaving the three of you - and the single guard outside the door - standing in the hallway. “Ms. Page, if you’d like you can join them in the room.” Karen nodded and squeezed your arm before she stepped away, slipping into the room and closing the door behind her. I just want to see him, I want to see him awake, I… “Take a seat, it might be a while.” The officer - one of the guards that you’d become familiar with sighed as you shook your head. “Suit yourself.” Minutes passed and then the door opened again, a doctor and a nurse leaving and shutting it behind them, walking down the hallway and  talking quietly between themselves. What is happening? What… You stared at the window, eyes unfocused, and then, after what felt like a long time had passed, you watched as the blinds rose, Karen’s worried face inches away from yours. She was blocking your view of Billy, and waited until you’d met her anxious eyes and nodded once to step to the right, letting you see him. 

 His head was turned to the side, looking away from you as he talked to Matt and Foggy, but after a few seconds, Billy’s head moved, even though it didn’t lift from the pillow. Oh, God. Things seemed to be happening in slow motion, your heart thudding behind your ribs as you watched him move for the first time in months. Billy’s head stopped, his cheek resting on the pillow, and you stepped closer to the window, staring at him, even though his eyes were closed. He finally opened them and you felt your eyes widen as you saw them through the glass - the same brown eyes that you’d gotten so used to staring into looking at you as if they didn’t see you at first. Billy it’s me. It… You watched as his eyes widened, eyebrows rising, and for the briefest moment, a flash of recognition went through them, his jaw twitching. Hi. But then it was gone, Billy’s brow furrowing as he kept staring at you. No… what… he doesn’t… Unwilling to give up, you raised your hand to the glass, pressing your palm against it and tilting your head to the side. Come on, Billy. It’s me. 

 For the span of a few seconds, you thought he was going to respond, but then Billy closed his eyes again, turning his head back toward Matt and Foggy. Feeling crushed but trying not to show it, you stepped away from the glass, dropping into the chair you typically sat in and putting your face into your hands. It doesn’t matter. He’s awake. He’s alive. Nothing else matters.

 ---

  Tag List:

If you want to be added or removed, reach out and let me know!

General:

@the-blind-assassin-12 @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @obscurilicious @sweetybuzz25 @suchatinyinfinity @lexxierave @gollyderek @poindexted @ificouldhelpyouforget @elanor-of-imladris​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @luminex3​ @geeksareunique​ @weallhaveadestiny​ @mfackenthal​ @thesumofmychoices​ @yannii04​ @beautiful-thinking​ @drinix​ @agentlingerie​  @blah-blah-fuckit-shit​  @dreams-with-thoughts​  @wangmangagavroche​ @traeumerinwitzhelden​ @jigsawlover10​ @malionnes​  @addictedtofictionalcharacters​

Billy Russo:

@nananananananananananabatman​ @damalseer​ @benbarnestongue @chibiyanai​ @life-is-a-melody​ @songtoyou​ @thisisparadisemylove​ @littlemermaidprobz​ @weirdowithnobeardo​

He’s Not Here ONLY:

@breanime​

Uncategorized:

@banditthewriter​ @padfootagain​ @madamrogers​ @ethereal-heavcns​ @editboutique​ @marauderskeeper​ @ilkaeliseb​ @delicatelilyflower​ @king4thesirens​ @ymariejp​ @mr-robot-x​ @rageshots​ @introvertedlibrary​ @writing-for-a-chance​ @yesixoxo @ilikebeachessushiandsmallanimals​ @likeorions​ @swiftyhowlz​ @dylanobrusso​ @malik-payne​ @lynne1993​ @ladyblablabla​ @dreamwritesimagines​ @audreychaz​ @tc-elliot @kind-wolf​ @honeyydippaa​ @binbonsadoration​ @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @ms-delos​ @jeanettexkillian​ @avengerswhore @elioelioeli0​ @projectcampbell​ @giggleberts​

[deansawthetvglow]

hihi!! may I request these from the destiel asks: #2, 4, 11, & 13 pls? also I hope u received my ask for ur url celebration & tumblr didn't eat it as it usu does for me🙈 anywho thank u!💜

HI YES I RECEIVED YTOUR SUPER CUTE PROMPT ! im working on it, i have an idea, i just need to do some research (ie. go to work tomorrow and write from experience lmao) ill post the ficlet under your ask, so you’ll get a notif! 

also thanks for the ask! ily for interacting ahaha you’re the best. 

questions from this 

2. What is your favourite Destiel moment?

honestly, i’ve answered this before I think (classic moments, s8, s12, s13 esp), but right now i’m being emotional and i’m so attached to s15. honestly, the whole 15x01 thru 15x13 run of destiel angst and love and softness and pain has been so amazing. like, the way they are treating it is with a certain importance that makes me so happy (also im a sucker for angst). I think out of those moments though is cas leaving and dean’s fucking face :(((,  the phone call between dean and cas where they were so obviously concealing deeper feelings, the “here let me” that shows, despite the turmoil they still care abt each other so much they can’t avoid their rebelious fates to be put together, and last, deans purgatory prayer. i still can’t believe dean was so emotionally vulnerable and he deserves kudos for being so brave and for admitting his fears and his struggles to someone he loves. 

4. Who are your favourite Destiel fan artists?

i think ive answered this long ago, but i think i’ll just tag a buncha people and if they are repeats, KUDOS 

@wigglebox @c-kaeru @winchester-reload @ah-syddlesticks @skeletonsinzeeclost @lizleeships 

ALSO a million insta artists who idk if they have tumblrs, but feel free to check my following list on my insta for some of my faves! 

11. Do you think it’ll ever go textually canon?

to me, it genuinely already is, the pining, the words, the actions, they are all there. however, for it to go “canon” like general public not looking at it so analytically….genuinely yes. i always get nervous saying that though, i fucked up years ago with thinking the same abt johnlock, but knowing this is the final season….i just…have a gut feeling it’s going to happen… i think it might happen in a tragic way…but even if that happened, at least they had eachother for the time they did. (this reply made me tear up, im not coping w the end, clearly) 

13. What is your ideal way for Destiel to go canon?

would accept any of the following:

a kiss :( 

a hand hold

an acknowledge of their actual feelings 

an “i love you” from dean 

an explicitly romantic “i love you” from either side. 

also because of my answer to 11 i can’t stop imagining dean or cas dying and the other one breaking down to say “i loved him. i couldn’t help it. i loved him” and the other half hearing from whatever beyond they are in and saying it softly back like “i loved you too. i still love you.”

[saigebeaumontt]

( danielle rose russell, cisfemale, she/her ) I, FREYA KAVINSKY am a SCHOLARSHIP student and would hereby like to submit my application to Kingswood Boarding School. I am SEVENTEEN years old and will be a JUNIOR. I would describe myself as HEARTFELT and EAGER, but also UNINHIBITED and PIGHEADED which I plan to work on during my time here. This is my request to join the VICTORIA building as a house MEMBER and look forward to hearing back from you.

im trash ik but here’s a brand new baby to play w!! her pinterest can be found HERE pls ignore the photos of crystal reed, that’s freya’s original fc sdfghj

tw; death, drug/alcohol abuse? w/ implications of self destruction

so first thing’s first, freya was born n raised in chicago alongside her father and her older sister

her mother had died during freya’s birth--though freya doesn’t...blame herself, necessarily, there are days where she imagines what life would’ve been like if her mother was still alive

her dad’s a mechanic and the sole provider for their household, which meant that he was gone more often than not

regardless, he tried to be as active as possible in his children’s lives

her sister always took up the role of..well, mother, in a sense

freya and her are incredibly close b/c of this

even so--her father had wanted them to be as active as possible, as out of the house as he was--so it didn’t seem like he was gone as much as he was

so, with a few strings pulled and familial connections, freya was able to attend ballet lessons at a young age, alongside an instrument of her choosing, at a discounted price

she chose violin btw...very relevant

and like, to everybody’s surprise--she sort of excelled at both--it almost came naturally, though that didn’t mean she hadn’t put in a buncha effort regardless, y’know

practice makes perfect, yadda yadda

took up a few more instruments for fun, such as piano and like...i dunno, guitar of various forms (including bass guitar) though she likes violin the best

that led to her attending a p prestigious performing arts high school in her city--which wasn’t done by pulling strings

her father worked even more shifts, her sister got a job to help pitch in, they took out loans, yadda yadda. anything they could do so she could pursue this...dream

except...ballet and violin has never been freya’s dream--its just something she happens to be good at

everybody just...assumed, that since she was so talented, she had to want to pursue it

not the case at all, really. she loves it, really, but...her passion has always surrounded animals

specifically marine animals, which is odd considering freya had never seen the ocean before

really...marine anything, she loves. maybe it’s because its something she hasn’t experienced , but ykno

ANYWAYS

she felt sort of...stuck, b/c she never wanted to disappoint her dad or her sister or any of their family friends who were all rootin’ for her

this led to some...rebellion, of sorts, when she was a freshmen

nothing...BAD, per say, but y’know. baseball bats to mailboxes whilst hanging out of the window of a pick-up truck, vandalizing abandoned buildings and historical monuments, shoplifting from convenience stores.

okay so like...a little bad

that was just the crowd she found herself in, y’know, in her teenage angst

has definitely been arrested a few times, but has always managed to get off scotch free ??

it’s luck, im telling u. she only has like..three things on her record rn

ALSO learned how to ride a motorcycle and was in a punk band based in her school n did bass for it, ‘cos that’s what rebellious teenagers do n whatever

and this, well, y’know. did disappoint her father and her sister and all their family friends but at this point freya was like ?? i can’t stop

her boyfriend at the time was a major contributor to her troublemaking tbh

when he transferred to kingswood, freya’s lil 15 yr old heart was broken.

spent her entire sophomore yr working her ass off and getting her shit together so that kingswood would look at her, and pick her, too--

and like...it finally paid off, y’know? her junior year they’d graciously given her a scholarship based off of her music AND academics

so she was absolutely thrilled

granted, she was only able to start attending halfway thru her junior year, at the beginning of the second semester...but she was there, at least, right?

very ecstatic to find her boyfriend and surprise him

they’d been doing long distance, and he had no idea that she had gotten in

found out his dorm number, walked right up to his door--knocked, and he answered with his shirt off n a number of hickeys on his chest

it was a surprise for both of them lmao

obv. freya is not stupid, if not a lil blinded by love at the time. they broke up, she was heartbroken

sorta shut herself in for a few months ‘cos she was so sad abt it

so it’s kinda like she’s still new, tho it’s been a few months since january

but she’s BACK and she’s POPPIN’ and she acts like it still doesn’t bother her !

but like...it does. it rly does. she’s still mcfreakin’ hurt abt it, she’s just handling it in another way

aka, a lil bit of partying...a lil bit of drinking, casual drug use, hooking up, etc. etc. just bein that bitch, y’know?

ANYWAYS

has always had a lil bit of a tomboy aesthetic ?? despite being a freakin’ ballerina, it just not her aesthetic man

constantly wearin’ dark colors n reds and leather jackets n denim on denim n cuffin’ her pants n whatnot

even brought her motorcycle 2 school w/ her

EXCELS at science, wants to become a marine biologist or smth when she’s older

just...hasn’t told anybody that

DON’T B FOOLED BY HER APPEARANCE THO

she’s not some antisocial punk, okay, she’s not anna

very humble but not in a way where u have to be like ‘ugh u have talent u idiot’ , she just doesn’t like bragging about it ?

even tho her ex is an idiot she’s still glad to be there bc of how prestigious kingswood is

 kinda tries 2 befriend as many ppl as possible ?? she isn’t a people pleaser, though, n it’s sort of like...u get what u get, w/ her

she doesn’t act as if she’s got a whole separate life or nothin’, she balances both her rebellious nature and her talents n w/e

fun fact her mother was a leader of elizabeth but like...does she know? no. does it matter? only to ppl like lilah smh

ANYWAYS AGAIN

i’d consider her like....a gryffindor, to sum up her personality ??

very brave, fearless, can be stupidly reckless. gets herself into trouble even now

prolly is a lil bit of a hoe but we love that for her, okay ??

but also ?? will die for her pals ?? n is very true to herself ??

we call her accidentally messy

neutral good tbh ?? very wholesome person

will take care of u if ur sick, is v protective of those she loves

also doesn’t rly....believe in love rn, or is at least very over the concept.

girl next door ?? i dunno

sometimes...she does these bad things...’cos she thinks she deserves it, in a way?

like she’ll drink too much n get a real bad hangover or do a drug when she knows she’ll have a bad trip

so she’s got a lil bit of self loathing

however she knows it’s a problem

she’s just...not willing 2 do much abt it rn

living her best life lmao

ambivert, will go to parties but will also sit in w/ a book gladly

can b v v stubborn, is in debate b/c she loves...to argue, sometimes sksk

m8 i dunno she’s got layers..like an onion

wanted connections

her...ex would be nice, however it’s prolly better suited to send in as a WC unless there’s a dude from chicago out here whose made the mistake of cheatin’

HOWEVER, i would love pals !! friends of any sort !! she’s friendly !! like her !!

ride or die!

unlikely pals!

good influences!

bad influences!

she’s in a band w/ ezra im p sure

i ALSO would like hook ups!

accidental hookups!

casual hookups!

fwbs ?!?

Bad. hookups!

she’s probably accidentally hooked up w/ somebody’s partner so

enemies ! for w/e reason !

rivals!

frenemies!

fake friends !?

everything!

gimme everything !!

[gwenstacysmom]

BLOG RATES!! AND WRITING UPDATES

HEY FRAAAANSSS! So I reached my first thousand followers just now!!! (Which trust me is so fucking weird because ya gurl has been on this hellsite for 8 years. YIKES.) So two quick things:

1. I’m doing blog rates!!! Anonymously send me a URL and I’ll tell you what I think about their url, theme, posts, if I’m following, and a buncha other junk! This will be happening after I get off work tomorrow so like some time starting around 6 or so (EST) is when I’ll be publishing any in my inbox!!

2. I absolutely fucking love writing. I really really do. (You can check out my writing tag on my blog to see a few pieces!) But I have issues with focusing that make it hard for me to get anything on the page. HOWEVER! That’s all about to change soon! So I’d really like to start getting back on a good writing schedule. Because I have SOOOOO many fun ideas floating around in my brain that need to get out!! So, send in any submissions or requests if want some done!! Just let me know a general idea, and the person you wanna be paired with!!

IM SO EXCITED!!!

I’m gonna tag some people to get the word out:

@loserparker @starksparker @iron-spiderr @peters-vlogs @dearcindymoon @thekillingquill @spiderparkerboy @officialtessaholland @tomhollanduniverse

[gretehart]

Buncha Holiday Updates n Thangs

12-7-17 Update! Added a couple things, which you can read below. Why do I make these as long as a novel Hhhhhhh

Just a post with some updates since the holidays are (basically) here!

You're not entirely required to read but it helps to be in the know lmao

May not be streaming Friday nights anymore

Not all night anyways

I've been volunteering to work overtime on Saturdays at this one location downtown (helping them pack & move offices), which is both tiring but rewarding lol. So because of that I may not stream much on Fridays like I would normally do. I dont know when they will be finished, but last I heard would be another 3-4 weeks or so.

Will keep you updated on that.

In the meantime I'll just be doing random stream sessions so yeah LOL

Be sure to follow me on Picarto for notices when im online (since I use that a lot)

Holiday Freebie Stream? (Updated)

PLEASE READ IF I OWE YOU ART FROM THE HALLOWEEN STREAM I'm currently trying to figure out the schedule for the holidays (and what are the plans are with the family) but so far I am thinking of doing the holiday stream either the weekend before Christmas or the weekend before New Years IF YOU WERE ONE OF THE FEW THAT WERE IN THE HALLOWEEN STREAM, AND I DID NOT FINISH YOUR REQUEST:: Unfortunately due to my schedule I will be unable to complete your halloween request. HOWEVER,   I will keep your names in case you are present for the holiday stream, and will work on your requests first! I wont be able to draw specifically what you requested at the halloween stream, but i have no problem drawing something else for you!   Will keep you guys updated!

Patreon Freebie Streams- Starting in January! (Updated)

I mentioned before I would be starting the freebie streams in January (to give me time to catch up on my work) And with there being 2 streams now, I will host one in the beginning of the month, and one towards the end. The dates specifically havent been figured out yet, but I will keep you guys updated on the whens and wheres!!

(A Lot) More Patreon Content Coming Soon

I've secretly been working on a collab "project" (or two) with a friend of mine and we will be working on vigorously within this and next month. I will be posting any of the WIPs, Concepts, & Sketches on my Patreon exclusively, and then I will be complete pieces on all my other public places.

The main project we're working on is going to be an OCT collab on Deviantart (But I wont say which one!) The second will be a story featuring our OCs (that wont be for a while most likely). I've already posted some sketch concepts earlier on my Patreon but there will be a lot more.

Super excited (but also uber nervous LOL)

So stay tuned for more stuff yay!

<strike> and let's just hope it wont fail miserably like my last attempt Loooool </strike>

ToyHou.se Account- You'll be able to see all my OCs

...Eventually lmfao.

I just recently got a Toyhouse account, which seems to be super good for like OCs/Adopts/Etc.

I'll be working on profiles and references for the bazillion characters that I have, so it would be easier for people to find my babies and learn more about them.

Now I'm brand-spankin new to the site so there's a lot I dont know here but I'll do my best for proper refs and information lmao.

Wish me Luck xD

Twitter and Instagram coming in January

I know i've said a million & a half times I would make an account for these sites lmao

but after a lot of people requesting it, I decided I'll work on them within this month and the next, and should have them up & running by January~

I dont know how I will be using them entirely, but for now just updates on art and so forth lol.

I think that's it for updates and news going on lol

If anything else comes up I'll be sure to add them

You guys are the best!!

[elldysharrow]

To The Irons

"Miss Harrow,

 I hope this letter finds you well. When last we spoke, we'd discussed a business contract for a search and return voyage of one Iron Boar. Over the course of a few months, I've been able to retrieve a great deal of information on his current predicament in the hopes that it will assist you on the endeavor.

 Several months ago, Mister Boar took a contract with a 'Fisherman' who needed extra protection on a journey out west. This man, Hugo Morrison, Captain of the Whistling Lady, had the necessary crew and sought out Iron Boar's mercenary specialties. It was set to be a short trip, with only a month or so in mind. The truth of the matter, was far less simple. Rumors have it that Mister Morrison's intentions were not that of fish, but of illegal cargo to be shipped from the far western lands. Last contact was made four months ago, and the coordinates are marked on a map I've supplied with this missive. I've also taken the liberty of marking the route I procured, that I believed them to be taking. In all likely hood, Iron Boar is within the remainder of that route, given that they remained on course.

 I'd like confirmation of Iron Boar's status, be it dead or alive. The people he's close to, deserve closure, and if the man is lost at sea, he deserves to be returned home. Compensation for this can be discussed further down the line. As I said before, I'm willing to work within reason.

Sincerely,

S.S."

* * *

“S’gonna beh un’ah those hot daehs where ya jus’wanna laeh wit’yer buns out inna sun eh?” Golden grinned with steps taken two at a time up onto the quarterdeck.  Attempts had been made since first bell but even her comical wiggle and shimmy up to the midlander wasn't enough to draw a smile from the pensive captain. With a defeated sigh, Golden pressed her form against the railing companionably close to Elldys and rolled her vision over the parchment in Captain Harrow’s hands. “Whoosat from? Yoo been stewin’ ovah dah contents all mornin ya moodeh sod.”

“Stone.” It was one word milked from pursed lips, solid and unreadable.

“Ahh… isit ah love lettah?! Wai’ isit from dah good un er th’bad un?”

“Th’one I ain't sleepin with. You think I’d be this moody wit a love letter?”

“Who knows…’ecoulda  tol’ya ‘e ain’t seein yoo anehmoar? Ran off wit some filleh ta marry.”

“Over letter? Really?”

“Ahh...well...at least it ain’t tha’ righ? Yoo know maybeh yoo shouldna ah slept wit th’bad Stone’s lackey. Dat Ric wassa bad ideah eh?”

“Don't you got a deck t’mop?” The question earned the black haired captain a rolling laugh and elbow from her Quartermaster.

“Nah, Flic lost our rounds ah strip’oker..weh tossed 'is clothin’ ovah dah side..so 'ell beh scrubbin’ the decks naked while Aye supervise.”

“.....Golden.”

“Wha?!” The Highlander threw her hands up, big and dramatic in an attempted innocence, but her chuckle eliminated the farce. She sank instead, back against the solid wood with the lack of humor emitting from Elldys, sobering as she went through the physical motions. “So wha’s th’ponce wan’?”

“That trip I tol’ you about… looks like we’re finally gettin’ called t’duty.” Elldys kept her mismatched eyes on her loading crew, washed in reds and yellows from a peaking dawn and her sun touched face carefully neutral. Her companion let out a defeated sigh next to her.

“Dij’ya tell 'er 'igh an’mighteh dat we were goin’ awaeh fer ah time?”

Elldys nodded to the genuine question and the mention of the woman that haunted their comings and goings. “Yeah, I told Lyris when it came up tha’ this was gonna be ah rescue mission wit’out havin’ t’mention where the request came from. I ain't sure of th’bastard yet, but I also ain't ready to turn ‘im over to Lyris.”

“Good! Dah “ellcat’s got ‘er nose ina ‘nough ah our business eh?” The highlander gave her far smaller captain a healthy clap on the back but years of it had made Elldys simply adjust to the sudden good natured impact instead of being pitched forward by it. “‘Sides is all ah good ting ina end though righ?”

“For Iron Boar? Sure…’sa worthy mission, y’know I 'ate taken higher orders.”

“Yet 'ere we ahre.”

“Yes, here we are.”

“But yoo know wha? Aye looooove takin’ ordahs from yer ass… so ordahs Cap’n?”

Golden finally earned herself a half a smile as Elldys straightened and checked off mental lists while she surveyed their busy crew. “Get Sixgill on th’supplies, get these boxes squared away an what’s left of our haul off this rig. Set th’twins on th’payments… we’ll get our bearins an’leave day aftah next, inform th’crew.”

In captain mode there was no argument, Golden nodded her head and left Elldys to her dark storms. The midlander was going to be a joy their first days out, at least until frustration ran its course. Golden figured she’d warn the crew of that storm coming, the faster they found Iron Boar, the quicker they’d get a good man back and be done with the one that caused Captain to grind her teeth in the first place.

“Alrigh’ ya buncha rats! Weh got ah Roe ta fin’!”

@hellsguardian-tales @professional-problem-solver @golden-ffxiv  @bountyhunterstone and @charm-in-spades for the mention

[sanguine-wav]

buncha personal stuff

im changing my diet completely. i need to start eating less frozen shit... im literally taking lunchables to school because i dont have any other options. Im going shopping sunday and im gonna get spinach and bread and turkey and cheese and all sortsa stuff and im gonna COOK FOOD and im gonna teach myself to not rely so heavily on premade crap

my grocery budget is $30/week so my options are limited... also my mom is vegetarian so i cant really do much in the realm of meat since i doubt she’d be into letting me cook it in her kitchen. but i have plans for wraps and quesadillas and breakfast sandwiches and garlic bread and gourmet ramen!!! 

Also i called my insurance and my next step for top surgery (trying to get it covered/appeal the inevitable denial) is to get my pcp to request i see a specialist (the surgeon) and send information explaining that its medically necessary to have the surgery. Then hopefully, if i am NOT denied, i get to have a consoultation. the person from the insurence company told me on the phone that the most i would pay IF COVERED would be $2500. which is less than half of the cost of going to the surgeon who doesnt take insurance......... uuuughufhjsahgkjsgkjhshg ive gotta at least try ya kno? like. i might get denied, my appeal might not work, i might get a consultation after all that and find that i dont want that surgeon slicin me up. but its worth a shot. i have to save for it anyway, i might as well be doing this at the same time.

[noctomania]

roommate hunt

we have one month and my roommate is being fairly particular of who is acceptable. no men, smokers(tobacco in or out), students (even grad). having been someone stuck on the end ofnthe "no men" particular I can't help but hate that even tho i understand wherw it stems from. i did persuade her to aloow me to leave it out of the ad so as not to dissuade trans people but now ive got a buncha massages from men and students none of which fit her particulars tho i would easily interview them at least. Mind you: i have written the ad, posted it, opened profiles on other sites, and been searching/contacting candidates. What has she done? .... So anyway im sitting at work thinking about all this as i get sick to my stomach bc idk what will happen if we can't find anyone that she approves of. Besides all his the other roommate who is moving insists on being present when people come to view the room. so now we have to coordinate between 4 different people even tho she literally has nothing to do with this process and that would ultimately slow us down immensely. Honestly im not about to slow down for her bc she would absolutely put in unnecessary input. i do not want her involved in this process at all bc it has NOTHING to do with her. She will be gone by the timr they move in. i have few requests: they work enough to pay their bills on time, contribute to communal resources & cleaning, arent a partier, liberal oriented/lgbt friendly. kinda the most basic stuff aside from the political leaning. ive lived with cis males who were very clean and responsible and i felt very safe with them. never an inappropriate attitude or anything. super healthy. ive lived with women who were absolutely awful and in fact my worst roommates to date were cis females. i just wish people could let go of stereotypes and focus on individuals rather than look for a quick way thru