#i have a bad time writing him but love reading his inner monologue at a later time

[stellarsightz]

🌠wip whenever🌠

Tagged by the lovely @priafey 🫶 thank you for the tag and sorry for replying so late hahah

I think my cicerlyn hyperfixation is starting to leave me, but i keep thinking about them all the time lol. Enjoy a handful of snippets i particularly like that i found in my notes app

Tagging: @azures-grace @cicerosfavouritelistener @abstractredd @vestigme @rustyram035 @v1ctory-or-sovngarde + anyone who wants to join <333

1a.

Fire and smoke. Long wooden beams snapped in half, crumbling to the ground. Lynwallyn gritted his teeth and dragged himself up, fighting off the sweet lull of unconsciousness as it threatened to claim him. He couldn't afford to pause.

He dragged himself out of the rubble, barely stopping to inspect his injuries. He wrenched a sword out of the nearest corpse. He snagged a pile of clothes he found in what he assumed were the barracks. He took anything his bruised and charred arms could carry. He left and didn't look back.

Days blurred. He found an abandoned shack in the middle of a forest. He used the bedroll, took everything he could and left.

Rinse and repeat.

He slept through most of the day. At night, he prowled the forest and searched for unsuspecting prey. He let himself get lost in the hunt, savouring the feeling of warm blood running down his hands. A few stray dogs tailed after him as he walked back to his camp, licking their teeth and eyeing the mangled corpse of the poor animal he just caught. He snarled at them and watched with satisfaction as they whimpered and scuttled away.

He took what remained of his meal to his hideout and skinned it, slicing it into smaller parts and making what passed as a meal for the next day.

He was gone as soon as the sun rose. He soon found a small village, River something. He sold the few pelts he got from the animals he caught. He ignored the curious, if not apprehensive, looks the locals cast his way.

He exchanged the stolen sword for a set of daggers at the local blacksmith, humming appreciatively as their familiar, comforting weight settled in his hands. His last stop was the general goods store where he purchased a single healing potion and some rations. He left without a word.

[Lynwallyn travels for a while]

1b.

Cicero whined for what must have been the fiftieth time, fists clenching and unclenching as he paced.

It wasn't fair! The cruel, awful farmer refused to help in spite of Cicero's pleading and begging. Oh yes, he had done lots and lots of pleading and begging, he had even offered coin! He had seen that look in the farmer's eyes when he produced his purse, gleaming and scheming. Trying not to show just how much he wanted to reach out and snatch it. And yet, he refused to even lift a finger. Anger coiled in Cicero's stomach, burning so bright it made his hands shake. He let out a strangled groan.

"Awful! How awful! Cicero and his poor, poor Mother are stuck! Oh, how will Mother get to her new home now?"

He spun on his heel, shaking a fist in the direction of where Loreius' house stood.  "That damn farmer is of no help! So are those stupid guards!"

1c.

The Mer stared at him with a strange expression. His brow creased, eyes flitting over Cicero's face. "You could have killed me. But you didn't. Why?"

Why didn't he indeed, Cicero pondered. He remembered his fingers tingling as he reached for his knives, but something stilled his hand. He still has no idea why.

"Cicero is just a poor, humble jester, he knew a beast such as you would look for something different to eat. Yes, yes, Cicero imagines he would not be very tasty," he lied smoothly, giving the other man a wide grin. The Mer laughed softly.

The rope fell around his ankles before Cicero could react. The Mer closed the distance between them in a heartbeat. Cicero yelped, wriggling, as he was lifted off the ground and slammed against the nearest tree.

The man's eyes were even more impressive up close, his gaze almost burning into his skin as he leaned forward. Appraising. Analysing. Hungry.

[sundrop-writes]

Protective

Isaac Lahey x Fem!Reader

Summary:

During his first full moon, Isaac needs to think of something to ground him - to keep his newfound powers from getting out of control. Derek suggests that he use anger, and he knows that Scott grounds himself with his love for Allison.

Isaac finds something in between - thinking of the anger he feels when you get hurt.

Isaac Lahey x Fem!Reader. Pining Best Friends. Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 2, Episode 9.

Word Count: 2,300

Teen Wolf Masterlist | AO3 Link

Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: canon level violence - mentions of Isaac, Erica, and Boyd having to be chained up on the full moon (to avoid hurting themselves and others), mentions of Isaac's abusive father (somewhat graphic descriptions of the abuse that Isaac experienced); Isaac has a self deprecating inner monologue because of the psychological effects of his father's abuse; mentions of Isaac being injured by his father's abuse; the reader also has an abusive father and it's a point on which they related and bonded (and how they became such close friends); at one point the reader describes her abuse as being 'not as bad' as Isaac's abuse (but that is psychological trauma speaking); mentions of the reader experiencing physical and emotional abuse; reader is described as 'pretty girl' at one point in the fic (again, this is very self indulgent); Isaac has a crush on the reader but has never voiced it (it's implied that the reader feels the same way); Isaac and the reader exchange friendly physical affection; emotional angst - Isaac feels powerless for not being able to stop the reader's abuse; I think that's it for this short fic? The themes are on the darker side, but it comes from a personal place for me.

A/N: If you've been following me for any amount of time, then you know I have a thing for sad, abused characters. If you have read my Ellie fic 'My Heart Is The Worst Kind of Weapon' - then you would know why. Isaac is the kind of character I immediately connect to for deeply personal reasons, so watching the entirety of Teen Wolf through for the first time, I couldn't resist writing a fic about him. There will likely be more to come about him, but for now - here is this deeply self indulgent moment inspired by Season 2, Episode 9. If you don't relate to this, I hope you can enjoy it as a distant whumpy fiction, and if you can relate to it - I hope that Isaac can bring you some comfort like he has for me. Much love, happy reading.

...

While the chains rattled against the abandoned subway car and Isaac tried to ignore Erica’s groans of pain from having several large bolts bored into her head, he couldn’t help the question that was rattling around inside of him. 

“How do you do it?” Isaac asked Derek as he arranged the chains around his limbs. He was trying to push down the sickly familiarity of it - being restrained. He was trying to tell himself that it actually was for his own good this time, not just a sick punishment given to him by a powerless, unhinged old man. “How do you keep it under control?” 

“You have to find an anchor.” Derek told him, firm, determined. 

It was nice to focus on the conversation instead of the anxiety rising in his chest, so Isaac pressed on. 

“An anchor?” He questioned, unsure what Derek meant. “Like what?” 

“Yeah. Something else for you to focus on. For me it's anger.” Derek paused. “But it's not like that for everyone.” 

It was immediately obvious to Isaac who Derek was speaking of. 

“Scott.” 

He had Allison. It was some dreamy romantic bullshit - using his love for his girlfriend to keep from wolfing out. But apparently, it worked well for him. 

Derek gave a subtle nod. 

Isaac didn’t have anything like that. He didn’t have some cheesy romance to fall back onto. He didn’t have someone declaring a love for him so openly - because he wasn’t worth loving. Even with his father gone, the world had made it very clear that he was just a piece of shit stuck to the bottom of someone’s shoe - a problem being passed around that nobody could seem to solve. 

“It just has to be something strong enough to keep your mind present. A strong feeling you can hold onto. Anger, love, resentment, regret, rage. Just find something that works for you.” 

Isaac nodded, and Derek went to check that Erica and Boyd were secure as the moonlight came to its full brightness. 

… 

It got Isaac thinking about you. 

You were probably the one person in his life who didn’t think he was a problem. The one person in his life who loved him, even if you didn’t say it out loud. 

He had felt all of those things - anger, love, resentment, regret, rage - the last time he had been with you. When he had been sitting in your bathroom, perched on the closed toilet seat lid after an argument with his father. Naturally, the argument had ended with Isaac having a black eye, and a large cut on his cheek from his father's ring colliding with his face. 

You were the only person he ever went to. No matter how bad things got, you were the only person he ever told. You were the only person who ever understood. Isaac had found out the hard way that your own father was much the same as his. On the first day of freshman year, he had seen you wearing a sweater when it had been a balmy, sunny day, and he had volunteered to be lab partners with you - partially to get closer to a pretty girl and partially because a gnawing feeling was going off in his stomach. 

Even back then - even when he was scrawny and powerless, his instinct to protect you had still been so strong. Even if all he could offer you was a shoulder to cry on and the chocolate bar out of his lunch, he looked at you and he felt the world turning on the simple hope that he could make your day just a bit better. Because he knew, even without words, by the tiredness in your eyes - that you suffered like he did. And he wanted so badly to make it better. 

When the two of you were doing an introductory experiment of baking soda and vinegar to cause the classic foaming volcanic reaction, the rubber gloves you had been wearing caused your sleeve to ride up, revealing a menacing purple bruise on your wrist. Isaac spotted it instantly, and when you locked eyes with him, he held nothing but deep understanding there - not shock or even pity. Nothing but deep understanding and warmth. 

He held your hand under the table for the rest of class, and you had never wanted to pull away. You felt a unique kind of mourning when the bell rang and you had to part ways. 

At lunch that day, you found him under the bleachers by the lacrosse field. Without so much as a word, only a cursory glance around to make sure that nobody else was watching, he pulled up his shirt, revealing an array of horrifying bruises to you - some purplish, some green, some faded yellow - all collected from different points throughout the summer. The time when he had been trapped at home with his father, having nowhere else to go as the man got more aggravated with his presence. 

You ran a gentle touch along the wounds - the most gentle touch he had been greeted with since his mother's death, something that easily brought him to tears. And from that moment on, the two of you had a silent understanding. You spent the rest of the lunch hour exchanging ‘war stories’ and laughing with a tainted dark humor about your separate twisted patriarchs. And the next time he was bloodied and bruised, he texted you to meet him under the bleachers in that same spot, and you didn’t hesitate to rush out of bed at three in the morning to get to him. 

It became a sacred place for the two of you to escape to when you needed it. 

The two of you became a sacred comfort to each other - knowing that there was little escape in telling the police or a guidance counselor, because you had nowhere else to go. 

Today, when Isaac called you, you found your house luckily empty. Your mother and your father were away visiting relatives in another state, so when Isaac told you that he needed you, you texted him the all clear to come over to your house for a reprieve. He was lucky to be able to spend the night somewhere else - to get to sleep in your bed, cuddled up close to you for comfort, without fear. 

He tried not to wince with pain as you dabbed disinfectant on the large cut across his cheek. He hated seeing you flinch with empathy every time his expression wavered even slightly. He could handle the pain. He could be better than this. 

“Isaac.” You sighed his name pitifully, clearly on the edge of tears. 

Both of you knew the thoughts that were pulsing thickly through your head, even without you having to speak them. 

Isaac didn’t deserve this. You wanted to hurt his father in return. You wished you could take away his pain, you wanted to help him escape from it. 

It was a ‘wishful thinking’ conversation that the two of you had dozens of times before. It always ended with you both more upset than when it started, so you swallowed up those thoughts now. But Isaac knew them too well, written across your face and swollen on your lips like the tears brimming your pretty eyes. 

You put down the cotton ball you had been using and turned your back to him, poorly hiding your crying as you stiffly wiped off your cheeks. 

“What do you want me to say?” He replied, hating that this whole thing had to upset you. “You know how it is.” 

To an extent, you didn't. Your father was a screamer. He yelled loud enough to shake the walls, but he rarely escalated to physical violence. You found that you were lucky if you escaped a fight with death threats and tears rather than having hands laid on you. Isaac came to school with fresh bruises every other week - you had to feel that he was worse off than you were. 

“We should just go.” You said, feeling bold in your suggestion. It felt obvious - escaping. “We should just run away. Get the hell away from all this.” 

You whipped back around, still feeling a terrible twinge of pain and sadness inside you at the bruising across his face, the fact that his cheek was definitely swelling up now. 

Isaac frowned. It was a nice dream, and he hated to be the one to dash right through it. 

“You know we can't do that.” Isaac sighed. Ever the realist. Of course. “Where the hell would we even go? With what money? No offense, but the couple hundred dollars you have saved up from babysitting isn't gonna get us anywhere.” 

“It's over fifteen-hundred.” You told him honestly. 

It was a nest egg that you had been sitting on since middle school, hoping to escape your father and never look back. When you met Isaac, you had another thing anchoring you to Beacon Hills, keeping you from buying the bus ticket you had always wanted. 

“But you're right. That'll get us - what? A couple of nights at a motel?” You let out a harsh, dry laugh. Trying to relieve some of the tension. “Well… we could go on a vacation? Escape for a few days?” You suggested, sounding hopeful. 

The idea of spending time alone with Isaac - a getaway where the two of you could pretend none of it was happening, even for a few days - it sounded like paradise. 

Isaac’s mind went to a dream-like vision - having you alone in a hotel room. A bed just for the two of you. Even just getting the chance to sleep peacefully with you, cuddle you, it sounded like a dream. 

He had to pull himself back before his mind went to places a friend shouldn’t stray. 

“A last hurrah before my dad kills me for running away on him.” Isaac sighed. 

The consequences of it would be inevitable. The two of you would have to come back home eventually. He knew that your father would likely feel much the same. He would never forgive himself if you ended up bruised and battered because of something he had encouraged you to do. 

You let out a sob then - the thought of Isaac dying by his father's hands had been all too real to you at times. A horror you imagined in your mind over and over again, especially after times he had come to you with half his torso nearly bruised black and he had been unable to move properly for days. His father was a monster, and you didn’t doubt that he would be capable of murder. 

Isaac rushed to stand up, and pulled you into a hug. His warmth, his arms surrounding you tightly - it was the only place you ever felt safe. You eagerly gripped him back, missing the wince he let out when you squeezed a bit too hard over one of his bruised ribs. But no - he would never fault you for holding onto him too tightly. 

Holding you like this - he felt like he had the world in his arms. Something tight in his chest, telling him that if anything ever happened to you, he would become the same kind of monster that his father was. But in the same way any threat to you made him boil over with rage - you made him gentle. You made him soft and loving. You were the only person in the world who made him feel okay to weep. 

He kissed the top of your head, not a stranger to comforting you with affection even though the two of you remained strictly as ‘friends’. As much as he yearned for more - you were a life vest while he was drowning and he wouldn't risk fucking that up just to kiss you and call you his girlfriend. He wouldn't throw any messy feelings into the mix. 

“It'll be okay.” He told you. 

Coming from his lips, you had to believe it. 

“Thank you, Isaac.” You sniffled. And then, something hit you. “You came over here for my help, and now you’re comforting me.” You let out another dry chuckle, clearly resisting the urge to scold yourself. 

“This is helping.” He told you, hugging you tighter. “This always helps.” He said the last part quieter, a dropped whisper that you could barely hear. 

It was a truth he was afraid to confront just yet. 

… 

But in the present, it was a truth that was helping him more than anything. 

Isaac hadn't spoken to you since he had gotten the Bite. He had been terrified of hurting you somehow. The last thing he ever wanted was to become the thing that you feared. It would have been his worst nightmare to be the one to make you cower in a corner and cry rather than to be the one giving you comfort from it. 

As the moon came to a full wane overhead, and the mighty rage and power pulsed through his veins, Isaac thought of you. He thought of using that power to tear apart anybody who had ever hurt you - to finally free you from those tears. He thought of giving you the same relief he had felt when his father died. He thought of his love for you, even if it was a silent love that he had never gotten the chance to voice. 

“I see you found your anchor.” Derek remarked to Isaac later, after he had gotten Erica and Boyd back in their chains, tightening Isaac’s binds once again, if only as a precaution. 

“I did.” 

Derek looked at him with intrigue, as if waiting for him to explain. 

“Well, you said that you use anger. And Scott uses love.” Isaac told him. “I guess that mine is… some combination of both.” 

“Protectiveness.” Derek explained. “That's what wolves call it.”

...

A/N: This is a oneshot, and I wrote this to be a closed off story/its own little moment inspired by the show. This is a complete story, however, if there is enough interest, I might turn this concept into a longer oneshot and expand on the idea. It would not be me writing a 'part 2' of this, it would be me using this concept and writing a longer oneshot. I do have a personal vested interest in writing about powerful characters defeating abusers, but currently I don't have the time to turn this into something longer, so this is all I wrote. Please do not harass me about making this longer or posting something more, and if you're going to leave a comment asking for a continuation, please also tell me what you liked about this current story. Though I have something else in mind, I do consider this to be a completed story on its own.

[saintmagx]

I Knew you were Trouble❤️‍🔥

Part 2

Pairing: Jimmy Uso x reader

AN: if you would like tagged let me know 💖 Trinity is still with WWE. No specific timeline

⚠️ Warnings: 18+ , swearing, violence (this is the WWE after all) slight smut, infidelity, jealous Jimmy, bad writing, cringe story telling, the Usos (because they are a warning in themselves) ⚠️

The privilege of being a WWE superstar is you can get in almost anywhere and tonight was no different. LIV a well know nightclub in Miami is one of the toughest places to get into due to the high calliper of clientele - and somehow we made the cut.

The music was pumping, the air thick with stress and tension being danced away. We found our way to the back of the club to sit in one of the enclosed booths, accompanied by a server bringing over a bottle of their finest champagne.

Josh quickly fills the glasses up and starts us off:

“A toast, to these two badass ladies, congrats on your title win. It’s only up from here.”

“Josh, we haven’t actually won the titles yet, in-fact it doesn’t even feel right celebrating before we even have them, isn’t it like bad luck?”

“Yn, girl, let’s just enjoy the moment, we can worry about actually getting the titles tomorrow - tonight is about celebrating. Celebrating success, our future title reign, our new found friendship and everything in between.”

I hadn’t known Trinity long but her positivity and light is captivating. People gravitate towards her because of how she makes them feel. She loves and gives with her whole being.

“Okay enough of the chitchat, let’s dance”

Before I know it I’m being dragged to the dance floor by Trin. We dance the night away, laughing and having potentially a little bit too much alcohol.

“I’m going to use the restroom, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Trin just smiled and nodded - I want to say she heard what I said, but at this point I can’t even register my own inner monologue.

The bathroom was at the back of the club and it was hidden well - not sure how safe that was. Distracted by doing a bit of social media stalking, I walk into something solid.

“Ouch” I say.

I’m so embarrassed - praying no one saw me do that or worse having caught it on camera.

“I think I should be the one saying ouch”

Stunned, i look up and see Jon who is towering over me, with a lustful darkness lingering in his eyes.

“Jon, shit, sorry, I thought it was the wall or something. Are you okay?”

“Well except a bruised ego, I’m fine.” He pauses then continues “A wall huh? You think I’m that built?” His signature smirk creeping onto his face. My cheeks instantly flush pink. Does he know what he’s doing? Or even the effect he’s having on me? Am I reading too much into this? Wait, shit - becoming aware of the the fact I’ve been staring at Jon blushing, I have to say something, anything.

“Trin seems to be having a good time, I left her on the dance floor if you wanna join her.”

He inches closer, his scent fills my nose. My mind, body and soul is hypnotised by him.

“Well that depends, will you be coming back to the dance floor?”

Will i? Technically I wouldn’t be doing anything wrong, On one hand I can be close to him, looking and not touching but then on the other hand, he’s married, married to Trin, I couldn’t do that to her, right?

“I’m not sure that’s such a goo-”

“Yo uce, come get your wife, she’s had one too many drinks and I think she’s ready to start a fight.”

Saved by the bell.

Jon looks me up and down one more time, as if he’s trying to tell me we have unfinished business, he then heads off to get Trin and play the doting husband once more.

“I think I’m going to call it a night Josh.” He agrees and we head to the main entrance to wait on Trin and Jon before heading back to the hotel. I’m not sure what happened back at the club, I’m torn between wanting to find out, and just ignoring it, act like nothing happened - because nothing did happen right?

Trin

(8 New Messages)

I had so much fun tonight, we gotta hit the club more often.

We should think of a cool tag name

Oh and matching outfits

Should we come out together or separate

Omg there’s so much to think about

I know we haven’t known each other that long but I’ve got a feeling we are going to be such good friends

Jon says I’ve to leave you alone and let you sleep

Goodnight girl

Okay, my decision is made, whatever this is or isn’t stops now. Trin is a sweetheart and doesn’t deserve any of this.

I never understood people who said working out is good for the soul, I thought you had to be mad to enjoy it. However over the past few years an early morning hotel gym session has become my inner peace. Whether I’m running on the treadmill or lifting weights my mind is in blissful state of serenity. No craziness, no fuzziness, no overthinking and no Jonathan fucking Fatu. Calm.

Sitting on the gym floor, a sweaty mess from my workout I take a quick look through social media, trying to catch my breath. Trin had posted photos from last night to her private Instagram, guilt washes over me, I quickly shake the feeling and type a cheesy comment on her post - cheese is good, more focus on Trin less focus on Jon.

“Well shit, didn’t expect to see you down here this early.”

“Well Josh, early bird gets the worm and all that jazz.”

He walks over to join me on the floor, Josh is such a great guy, why couldn’t it have been him I was so captivated with and not his married brother.

“Did you have fun last night?”

“Honestly yeah, it was good to let my hair down and just enjoy myself.” Pausing for a second, “what about you? I didn’t get to see you all night.”

“Aw, did yn miss me?” He laughs

“Shut up loser” I say while nudging him.

“What’s going on here?”

I stiffen, Jon.

“Yo uce, about time you got yo ass down here, we ready to work out?”

Jon sits on the floor right next to me, the heat from his body already surrounds mine.

“I’ll take that as a no, I’ll be warming up for whenever yo lazy ass decides to join me.”

Josh gets up and heads towards the gym equipment to start his workout leaving just me and Jon, an awkward silence lingers.

“So last night was fun” I say trying to break the silence.

He just stares at me, looking into his eyes I see conflict, tension, desire? Finally breaking his silence.

“Yeah, it was a good night, shame it was cut short.”

Playing blissfully ignorant I push him for more information.

“It wasn’t cut short? We had been there for hours.”

“Let me rephrase that, our time was cut short.”

My heartbeat picks up - I’m playing with fire here and I know I’ll get burned if I continue.

“I guess I was to busy dancing with Trin to spend time with you and Josh.”

He smirks, his pinky inches closer to my hand, finding it’s destination he starts caressing my hand.

“No, our time. Me and you. If J hadn’t have came in…”

“Jon, come on we ain’t got all day.” Josh interrupts

“I’m coming I’m coming.” He replies back irritated.

Jon leans over inches from my ear he whispers “This ain’t over.”

And with that he is gone, away to join Josh to start their workout. Leaving me confused, conflicted and a little bit hot. Im definitely getting burned.

tagged: @southerngirl41 @missfamilyjeweles @jeyusos-girl @christinabae @jeyusosgirl @raya-hunter01

[mrm-pachypoda]

I binged all of Death Note in one day! Here are my thoughts.

Spoiler warning for obvious reasons

Yagami spelled backwards is im a gaY

I feel so bad for Misa especially. She was the obsessive one at the beginning, but Light spent their entire relationship manipulating her.

Gotta love an aita situation where everyone is the asshole

Also Misa’s question to L on if he was “on the other side of the fence” (read: gay). You know she wouldn’t’ve minded if it were a throuple situation, she only got uncomfortable with the third wheeling after the gay accusations were denied.

I really liked the subtle jokes throughout. Very nice.

After L’s death I was slightly less interested, but the whole playing-with-your-food ouroboros that played out afterwards was very amusing.

I’m sure many people have mentioned it, but in episode 25, that scene where L and Light were in the rain? And the scene directly after???

“I am almost certain that Light is Kira at this point, and these are probably my last days with him…. What if I brought him out into the pouring rain so his white dress shirt could get soaked, and then we could towel each other off.. hm, maybe I could even give him a massage…” <-L’s inner dialogue at the time (source: bro trust me)

Also. The fucking. I couldn’t’ve screenshat it but in the toweling scene, that moment where Light.. cups L’s cheek with the towel?? In the guise of drying his hair?? Am I going insane I know other people saw that shit

Also wtf was their sleeping situation. Was it a Goldilocks situation (two separate beds that were kinda close together) or??? What. The public must know.

Loved all the stupid fisheye lens shots

“Light, it seems i must finally tell you what this investigation really was. It was never to find Kira; it was actually all a ploy to figure out if you were gay. Your father, the chief of police asked for my assistance. When we installed the cameras in your room, it was already clear as crystal. You bought that porn magazine and read it in clear view, but you laid there kicking your legs looking so disappointed in the material you were reading. You didn’t even bother to crank your chain. Then, through various means we kept eyes on you and your dating life. You dated multiple girls at a time, yet you never truly showed interest in any one of them. You even openly admitted your disinterest in Misa Amane. Along with your clear willingness to be close to me, in spite of my supposed investigation on your identity as Kira? That’s pretty gay, Light. I could go on, but you get the point, Light I’m-A-Gay.”

Ok I’ll stop lmao i got way into writing that dumb ass monologue. I can almost guarantee that someone else has written something like it before me.

I love engaging in long-finished pieces of media.

Also the old brainrot from DanganRonpa definitely is trickling down into this new brainrot.

Bye for now ε:

[misshoneyimhome]

Hi there hunny! I am absolutely loving your writing, I feel like so many babes are hopping on the Willy hype finally!! Not sure if you’re actively looking for requests, but I am just in desperate need for a jealous, slightly angry William - like there’s any writing where he looses his cool because he’s just so laid back as a human. I think you could so do it justice, because I’m not meaning like scary angry ya know? Baby girl can’t. But I feel like as a partner and especially in the early stages he could probably come off as noncommittal or just almost too laid back about your relationship - mostly because he’s so secure about it and how he feels that he forgets you can’t read his inner monologue because he wouldn’t have you there if he wasn’t 100% sure. But maybe you try to call it off after seeing him schmooze at a team event and he like loses it out of fear and frustration at himself that you would think he’s not in it or you’re unspoken together but still not exclusive and you’re having fun at the club after a win just dancing but back at home he loses it (cue the stick breaking vid)! Either situation I would be pissed at him for being clueless but think my panties would melt off for an angry, jealous Willy because if you can get that reaction outta that man you’re in for a treat!!

Uh I’m here for it babe! 😍 angry/jealous/frustrated!Willy is just something of a kind, and I love it 😉 [I had a smilier idea a while back, in case you feel like reading this blurb - it has more jealousy 😉 (pure smut btw)]

And thank you btw, I always love people’s feedback, and requests are just so much fun - I love it when everyone shares their ideas ❤️

So, I went with more frustrated!Willy, rather than being jealous - hope that's ok; however, I do have a piece on the way, also inspired by the breaking-stick video, so hopefully, you'll enjoy that 😊

➼｡ﾟ

The Calm Before the Storm I William Nylander

4 months and 21 days.

It had been that long since you’d found yourself in what could be deemed a relationship with William Nylander.

4 months and 21 days of coffee dates, casual walks with his dogs, takeout dinners at his place, passionate, mind-blowing sex, and lazy mornings after his hockey games.

Everything appeared to be flawless – perhaps a bit too flawless.

In many ways, William stood out from your past partners; with him there was no need for pretence or maintaining a perfect front. With him, you could freely express your unique quirks and be completely yourself without hesitation.

But despite your fondness for his relaxed, natural manner, you couldn't help but notice his reluctance to delve into deep feelings or the core of your relationship.

While he'd whisper sweet nothings and lend an ear on your tougher days, he always seemed to be so composed and laid-back about everything.

And it was slowly starting to grate on your nerves.

_

Initially, you found it incredibly endearing and delightful to be in his company. His ability to shrug things off, whether it was a tough loss, a call from his brother about having a rough day, or even the chaotic traffic lately, impressed you.

"If the traffic's bad, I'll just take the subway," he'd casually remark when you'd urge him to hurry up to avoid being late again.

Or he'd say, "Yeah, it sucked that we lost, but we'll do better next time," after a defeat.

His attitude puzzled you, but in a way, you also found it incredibly amazing.

However, as your relationship with this man deepened, his seemingly calm and relaxed demeanour started feeling a bit too complacent. And now, you found yourself wanting a little clarity about your relationship.

Did it genuinely go beyond mere passing time, something romantic perhaps, or were you simply someone he enjoyed spending time with whenever he felt like it?

Undoubtedly, William was amazing. Yet, the more time you spent together, the more it seemed like this situation was somewhat one-sided.

You knew your feelings ran deep for him, so you opted to give it a bit more time, hoping he'd eventually open up.

And as the partner you wanted to portray, you agreed to accompany him to a team event.

_

The evening was meant to be a celebration, a tribute to their team's triumph.

And amid mingling with other teammates and their partners, William wore his usual bright grin and cheerful demeanour. His laughter filled the room as always, and as usual, you put on a smile and stood by his side.

At first, your concerns eased a bit when he kept an arm around your waist while engaging with managers and other club supporters.

However, as the night wore on, his touch and attention seemed to drift away, and you felt a deep stinge of disappointment.

And by your third glass of champagne, you found yourself without your date, chatting with a few of the team members' girlfriends and wives. Luckily, you had a close bond with the girls, yet your attention was drawn to something across the room – William engaging in his always so casual chatter with a small group, including a striking lady who eyed him with a certain longing, much like you would have done.

And as William didn't appear to shy away from her flirtatious gestures, your suspicions were validated.

So, with a soft sigh and a swift glance at your glass, you hastily finished your drink before slowly making your way over to William.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to gather your thoughts as you approached him.

"Hey," you gently said, offering a friendly smile. "I'm sorry, but I think I'd like to head home. You can just stay; I'll get a taxi."

William appeared puzzled by your words, but before he could respond, you swiftly exited the venue and headed towards the cloakroom.

And as you walked away, a part of you hoped he'd follow, while another part desperately needed to escape the situation as soon as possible.

But despite your determined strides to leave, William quickly caught up to you.

"Hey," he said firmly, grasping your wrist as you were about to reach for your coat. "What's wrong?"

His expression showed genuine concern at your sudden change in behaviour, his breaths becoming uneven. He couldn't comprehend what was happening, and all he felt was his heart sinking as he noticed tears welling up in your eyes.

"Will, I can't do this..." you attempted to sound confident, but your voice quivered while maintaining eye contact.

"You can’t do what, y/n? What's going on?" His confusion was evident, and you couldn't help but let out a disbelieving chuckle. How was he this oblivious to his own actions?

"I can't continue like this; I have strong feelings for you," you wanted to yell, but you kept your voice low, trying to avoid any unnecessary drama. "I thought I was more than just a fling, but it seems you don't want to be more, and I'm sorry, but I can't keep going like this..."

"What are you talking about?" William's voice rose in frustration.

He was getting slightly irked by your accusations, yet genuinely confused about what you were getting at.

"You are more than a fling!" he almost shouted.

"Then why do you always act like I’m not and like you don't fucking care about me at all?" Now you were shouting. “You always have to act so fucking cool and tough, and I can’t take it anymore – either you’re sure about us, or you’re not!”

William, his usual calm façade shattered, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

That was when it happened.

As you’d said the words, he could feel his pulse racing, his heartbeat quacking, and his unusual temper about to burst.

You thought he didn’t care…

"God, why can't you see? Shit!" He snapped, his voice filled with an uncharacteristic urgency, his eyes reflecting a storm of emotions. "I'm just... doing this without thinking! I'm not here for a fling, for fuck’s sake! I’m just not good at this, ok!"

You froze, surprised at the outburst, his words striking a chord within you. It was the first time you’d seen him lose his cool, the raw vulnerability in his eyes contrasting sharply with his usual easy-going nature.

"You think I don't care? That I'm not sure about us?" His frustration seeped through every word. Of course, he was sure about you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have held onto you like this. That wasn't his way. "I might not say it every fucking minute, but I am sure about you. It's just... I thought you knew."

Wait, what?

The air crackled with unspoken emotions. His frustration was not because of you walking away from the event or from him, but because he'd failed to express the depth of his feelings, assuming you understood without him needing to spell it out.

To him, you were everything he'd ever longed for. He'd never met anyone like you, never formed such an instant connection with anyone before.

From the moment he had laid eyes on you, you’d walked straight into his heart. And he had been set on keeping you close ever since. You had become his anchor, the true reason to how he always felt so calm and composed – knowing he had you by his side.

But he had failed. Failed to express just how much you meant to him. And now, here he stood, raising his voice at you, feeling the weight of his heartache.

Seeing you in distress tore him apart. The tears pooling in your eyes and the belief that he didn't care about you pained him deeply.

No. This wasn't right.

Releasing a deep sigh, the tension drained from his shoulders. "I should have said it more. I know… I should have made it clearer – how I felt about you."

Gradually, a sense of relief washed over you as you sensed the authenticity in his expression. And it was becoming clear to you that he struggled with verbalizing his emotions, preferring to express himself through a physical love language.

Furrowing your eyebrows in concern, you let out a deep sigh as well.

"Yeah, you should have," you spoke softly, before surrendering to the impulse, taking a step closer and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in a deep kiss.

His hands instinctively wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer as he reciprocated the intensity of the kiss, fully immersed in the moment.

In that instance, a surge of emotions overwhelmed both of you, drawing you into a heated moment. Gradually, you took a few steps back, retreating deeper into the cloakroom, where William slid his hands beneath your lower back, prompting you to jump, wrapping your legs around his waist.

The kiss intensified, tongues intertwining passionately as he pressed you against the wall, your hands gently cupping his face. You surrendered to the flood of emotions, finally letting go and embracing the feelings you were both openly expressing.

As the passionate kiss escalated, you could feel your bodies heated up, your hands entwining in his semi-long blonde locks, craving for more than just the connection of your lips.

Breaking the intense kiss, both of you were left breathless, needing a moment to recover.

“Willy, take me home,” you whispered, foreheads pressed together. And your wish was his command.

[radioiaci]

|| @cannibalxroses || Hello, I would like to chime in on this since it seems to be a matter of uhhh public concern now and I think it's time I said something! Putting it under a read-more because it'll be a little lengthy. Know that I want this to be as respectful as possible and that I am not upset or mad or anything about anything that's been going on! I just have some opinions and context to provide.

I have not made it a secret that I feel as though my portrayal of Alastor is veering more steadily towards MLM/gay relationships. This is just something I've discovered over the course of writing him. Now, when I initially posted about it, I made it clear that this does not mean that I wanted to outright dissolve or otherwise write off ships with female characters!

But in a similar vein to how literally every interaction with him is under the veil of his aro/ace experience, so too would every interaction be colored by the fact that he is starting to prefer men. This can lead to some VERY interesting conflict and nuance as these are all topics that I LOVE to explore via his inner monologue. And he is NOT ALWAYS going to make SMART or FAIR decisions to his partners as a result; both men and women. And I think that's a perfectly great way to explore lots of pathways for a ship. (All of his ships in general are never going to be 100% healthy. Alastor is a jealous, possessive, violent, and often emotionally DEAD individual.)

In this verse in particular, he cares about Rosie and does love her. He has explored sexual relations with her on a few occasions and he didn't dislike them (he, in fact, enjoyed them, given the context) - but I will say that outright, he is hard pressed to consider himself attracted to her as a default. This is ALSO coupled with the fact that Alastor - IN ALL of his relationships - has a very hard time getting his libido to react. It requires some specific parameters that can sometimes be a lot of work. And sexual interactions may not always be reciprocated or go as planned.

WITH THAT CONTEXT IN MIND:

Prior to the Unholy Crusade event, I was of an understanding that we could absolutely continue having he and Rosie be together and be married. I think that is an interesting plot point for him to have to cope with his sexuality (as well as the torch he still holds for Vox) in a married/committed relationship with a woman; particularly a woman who he very much cherishes still.

BUT - I know that when I get into those topics, I get VERY WORDY. I get VERY NOVELLA in my responses and that is not everyone's cup of tea. It was my understanding that, over time, some of Xixi's interest in those types of posts began to wane or she otherwise started to prefer short, sillier interactions with other characters, WHICH IS 100% OKAY AND FINE AND I HARBOR NO ILL WILL TOWARDS ANYONE INVOLVED, XIXI INCLUDED. Everyone is allowed to cater their experience in the way that makes sense to them and their character! But that is the impression I received.

However, in all honesty, when my long para replies are met with much shorter responses, I do get a little sad. And I know that not everyone gets as wordy as me, so really, it's just my bad for assuming that people WANTED to read/respond to that kind of thing in kind (I should have asked probably) but because of that, I started to draw back a bit because the effort and interest didn't quite seem to be on the same page.

So when Xixi proposed the death of Rosie and the end to the ship as a whole I was a bit taken aback, especially since we had spoken at least once after I made the initial post about Al's MLM sexuality and it seemed like it would be an okay thing to continue with. BUT I also know that Rosie's character does really like romance, affection, etc. and things that Alastor is not always fantastic at showing. So even though I was a little bit down about that being the inevitable conclusion (and it did, admittedly, make my participation in the event feel a bit moot which it was already sort of scant because I've been busy and can't always keep up with those quick timed events, as I've expressed before), I understood that it was what Xixi wanted for the character and for the ship and I do not fault her for it!

I did wish, at the time, that maybe it had been brought up to me beforehand, but I know events move quick, things can come up and happen, and I'm not gonna fault someone for that either.

Ultimately, I decided I was okay with it. I chatted with a pal and decided that with a little bit of their input I could write a nice little ending to Alastor's story in that verse so that I still felt like I had a bit of agency in how he continues on after that, even if we weren't necessarily going to play in that verse anymore. I like to have control of my characters and their eventual fates, so it made me feel better in an otherwise unfortunate situation.

But now that the plan B is being proposed, I really don't want it to seem as though I hate the ship/wanted it to end/am committed to ruining it out of spite. I think I'd just like to commit to what was proposed to me because I've already planned out how I would like to end that story and I don't want to put pressure on Xixi (or myself) to try and match up our writing styles or interest levels when it does not seem as though we're able to provide what we're each looking for in a ship between Rosie/Alastor.

All that to say that I am sort of sold on completing that story for Alastor in one way or another, but that does not mean that I hate radiorose, nor that I harbor any sore feelings towards Xixi. Nor do I have any disdain for her writing style whatsoever! I think it's great and if there is any future indication that our styles can jive together again, I'd be open to it.

But at this time, it just seems like it's better for the ship to meet a conclusion.

I HOPE THAT PROVIDES CONTEXT AND INSIGHT as to my decision making here. I really do not want it to seem as though I'm purposefully sabotaging their ship when I just sort of want to commit to what was initially proposed.

I hope that makes sense. I don't often go at length about these kinds of things, but since people were concerned, I wanted to make myself clear.

ANYWAY.

[a-strange-inkling]

If it were up to you ( one of the best hellcheer fanfiction writer) what would you fix or change about the fight of Icarus?

Aw shux, that’s high praise! I really don’t think I’m worthy of that, but thank you 🤍

Oh God… what a laundry list 😆 read at your own risk below (I think I’ve finally run out of things to say about this book and will be moving on now ����)

I’m going to be honest, the best way fo fix it would be to not write a book. Point blank. If I was involved with the show at all I would have NEVER written a book about Eddie in any official capacity. I don’t know if the author was aware of just how unhinged certain parts of his fanbase are (I’m sure she is now) but you’re not going to make anyone happy with this. Eddie’s ridiculously popular yes, I get it, but part of his appeal for people was how untouched his background was.

Flight of Icarus is kind of a mess plot wise with pretty weak/poor characterizations. There’s some good elements and scenes in it. It’s not bad, but it’s not great either. It’s pretty mid. I mean books based on tv shows aren’t exactly known for their… luster. It’s obviously going to lack the passion of an unpaid fanfic writer who has spent endless hours watching season 4 and doing in-depth research and analysis for their work… but that’s what we’re all used to. That’s our standard. So it’s kind of already set up for failure.

But, if I was in charge of a book like this, here’s some of the things I would do differently:

I’d have picked ONE main plot to focus on because there is way too much going on in these 280 pages for me to have the time to be invested or care about anything. There’s like three plus storylines going on with Eddie all to push ONE narrative which is basically him choosing between risking everything for a fantasy/dream of fame and money or staying true to himself and what’s real which is the steadfast loyalty of his friends and family. This takes the form of Al vs Wayne, Paige vs Ronnie, LA vs Hawkins, solo career vs band/hellfire, dropping out to try to become a rockstar vs being the first Munson to graduate, who Eddie wants to be vs who he truly is deep down.

It’s just too much.

I’d have taken a little more time making Eddie three dimensional. I know he’s a side character, but a lot of heart and thought went into creating him (at least on Joe’s end). I’d have made more conscious choices for his character, especially if he’s narrating in first person (I would have not used first person). His outer dialog is great (the dialog throughout the whole thing is actually really great, you can tell the author’s a screen writer and it’s one of the stronger elements to the book) but his inner monologue is pretty ooc and at times really off. He lacks a lot of the things that drew people to him in the first place or it’s just not as strongly presented I guess. He doesn’t feel fully formed.

If I was going to give Eddie a love interest (I don’t know why you would do that to yourself at this point, his fanbase is volatile at best and either ships him with Steve, Chrissy, or themselves, no one is going to like it) I’d have given her WAY better writing than an immersive wattpad character with little to no character traits outside of her aesthetic and interests which is an alternative style and liking music. Wow. Groundbreaking. I would have her make decisions based on a fully formed personality verses the convenience of the plot. And if not, if she’s going to be a means to an end, I’d at least go all in and make her wild or evil or a total bitch or conniving or funny or grumpy or goofy or something. She’s not given enough focus or time to be well rounded so I’d just have fun and go batshit crazy with her (don’t worry Paige, you’re mine now and I will give you an actual character and vindication).

Eddie choosing between his dad and Wayne would have probably been the plot I picked to focus on and I would have really dived into that. The good, bad and the ugly of the Munson family. Because Al (that would not be his name btw 🤢) and Wayne reflect the two sides of Eddie’s character. A charming, self serving, cowardly asshole and a good, strong and kind person who protects and looks after others. I like Ronnie a lot and she’s probably the best written character in the book, but Wayne needed to have more spotlight for this.

I’d have definitely made the plot a lot less fantastical and way more of a simple character study. Just Eddie deciding between embracing the infamy of the Munson family or choosing to rise above it. Does he decide to scheme and cheat like his dad to get more out of life or does he do the right thing and stay the course to actually graduate and make something of himself. That’s it. All that’s needed. Eddie getting a shot at being a rockstar at eighteen in Hawkins is already kind of odd, especially when his in is a twenty year old “junior scout”??? Who just happens to be at his dive bar and have the hots for him and fucks him and pretty much offers him a life in LA on a silver platter with no issues other than having to bail on his band and high school club?? It’s… a bit much for our unlucky loser boy we see in the show. Book Eddie is as lucky as they come, but he’s a total dumbass and decides to trust and scheme with his deadbeat father??? Who has always failed him? Why? I get he needs money but his kinda girlfriend’s got a job and he’s pretty much got a record deal. What even is this? That whole storyline would be scrapped to hell. But hey, at least it’s more believable than an actual drug heist and a kingpin and a shoot out. Oh and arson. It’s giving… *shivers* Riverdale and not in a good way.

Lastly, I’d have taken the opportunity to develop characters from the show a little more. Not a ton, but like the author did with Higgins. I really like how he was written in the novel. He had a lot of fire and personality out of nowhere which was kind of hilarious. I probably would have expanded Jason the most actually, I’d have added more to that tense rivalry. And I’d have left Chrissy pretty much out of it. The talent show is best left to the imagination and we already have a delicate narrative between them because of the forest scene. I wouldn’t want to add too much there. But she’d have a cameo for sure. Like brief eye contact or a shared smile or something at the very end of the book. Just a little glimmer of what’s to come. I’m also a Eddie has always had a little bit of a thing for Chrissy truther, so in my bias I might have him quietly admire her from afar or something.

And there you go.

I mean you’re going to get my version of his backstory eventually anyway and bonus he and Chrissy live, get married and have kids. Yay!

[lia-land]

From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

3/5

Spoilers for the first book in the Blood and Ash series*

I cannot start this review with anything other than how bad the audiobook is. This is an incredibly slow book for about 250/300 pages, as lots of fantasy series tend to be, so I wanted to get the world building over with on the audiobook. I could not continue listening to the narrator after the first few chapters. Hawke’s voice and accent combination is the worst thing I have ever heard and I can’t believe there was no one else who could have narrated this. Give me a microphone at this point... It’s like she was purposely trying to make it sound bad. I don’t know her name but I refuse to believe that she is not Jennifer L. Armentrout’s biggest hater.

Hawke is a relatively sexy character and maybe a little bit like ACOTAR’s Rhys, but this narrator completely ruined him for me. I can’t even read the books without hearing that stupid voice she gave him. I won’t even digress about every time she says ‘Oh my Gods…’ but I do like that this story eventually acknowledges the Gods that it’s referring to.

The world building was dragged out and I was very bored until around 50% in. I didn’t love that the book immediately jumped into spice; it gave me the impression that this series was just going to be porn with a weak plot, but I was somewhat wrong. Not entirely wrong, but the plot was stronger than I expected.

Then there’s the bad writing. The story is okay after chapter 15, but the bad writing outweighs it. I was constantly aware that I was reading, especially during the dialogue. It didn’t flow naturally and felt really forced. As many others have said, this book would have benefited from a good editor. Get Grammarly on this at the very least. The dialogue reminded me more of a TV show script where they quickly refer to/recap a previous episode since viewers might have forgotten. In this book, the dialogue sometimes referred to things that happened only a few pages or even sentences ago. I wanted to know what would happen, but I didn’t want to actually read it because the writing was really dull. The publisher is Simon & Schuster, by the way. Not sure how this met any standards of such a big publisher. Update: I've since seen a few people say that JLA doesn't have an editor at all? That should have told me all I needed to know before even starting this series.

Poppy was boring. She felt less like a character and more like a device for us to see the story unfold. Of course, every character has that purpose to some extent, but the only interesting thing about her is that she is the Maiden, and we still don’t even fully know what that means. I’m far more interested in the other characters. 

I thought Hawke was probably the Dark One after he made out with Poppy, otherwise he would just be really bad at his job as a guard. I was even more convinced after the Duke was stabbed with a cane right after. It seemed too obvious. Poppy is a very dumb character and I think the purpose was for readers to maybe relate to her? No clue. I could probably justify this partially by house secluded she is from other people, but the cane in the Duke’s chest right after her and Hawke made out was too obvious. Not sure how she didn’t pick that up in any part of her endless inner monologue. There's a big thing now about author's treating readers as if they're dumb and it was very clear in this book. I've also mentioned before that I don't base my reviews off of who authors are as people and I haven't, but if you feel like doing a deep dive into JLA's interactions with her readers, she does indeed think we are all dumb.

This isn’t a bad book, but it’s not good either, in my opinion. There really wasn’t that much plot. It’s just a bunch of repetitive inner dialogue with maybe 100 pages of things actually happening. I was so ready for this to be my next obsession, but it just wasn't for me.

Update: Tried reading the second book but it was just too boring. DNF at 12%.

[caliburn-the-sword]

cress thoughts and reactions

this was originally gonna be just one post for the first 7ish chapters but i have SO many thoughts as i tend to at the start of books, compared to the end where i want to race through the action and not write down every reaction, so i ended up having to split this in two. basically what i was reading during class time at school (no one tell my teachers) and then what i read when i got home to procrastinate homework lmao

HOLY SHIT SHE'S ALREADY MEETING THE GANG WHAT i thought it would take AT LEAST 5 more chapters

FSKDFSDKUHCNS she is so delulu and obsessed with thorne it's giving me second hand embarrassment i LOVE it. girlypop thinks she's in a romance novel thinking he's gonna have instalove

"Is that all hair?" coming from mr flirts with everything that moves, that's HILARIOUS. REJECTION. poor cress but unfortunately i find her misery hilarious

damn thorne is NOT holding back in his description of her hair LMAO. he fucking killed her no mercy. NOW i feel bad

"wing nut" scarlet tf kind of insult IS THAT. still love it. this is being integrated into my vocab as we speak

cress is hiding under a desk she's so socially awkward (just like me fr)

personally just from where we're starting i actually hope that it's just a silly schoolgirl crush that cress gets over and she gets to have real experiences, meet a whole bunch of people, and that she ends up being friends with thorne. it would be nice to not have romance as the answer for EVERY single character

i already have ALL the respect and admiration for priya. i need to stop getting attached to random side characters but i can't help loving her already. she was introduced spectacularly well

"Restraining a melodramatic sigh (…) He knew he was being childish" no actually?? kai is being entirely reasonable here. he's literally about to be in a child marriage and gonna be assassinated and his dad is dead and he's handing his country over and then there is gonna be a world war. he has every right to be upset

if no one knows who cinder's father is then we're DEFO gonna get a reveal. especially because we already know the lunars are non monogamous then it could be ANYONE

again i LOVE the dramatic irony of kai thinking cinder's trying to find princess selene. i mean i guess in a sense that WAS what cinder was trying to do

OMG ERLAND CHAPTER. I RECKON WE'VE GOT A REVEAL INCOMING (note: i was right and i'm a genius)

"ballyhoo" ERLAND I LOVE YOU. silly old man

I FUCKING KNEW IT THAT CRESS WAS ERLAND'S DAUGHTER - but WHY was she kept alive without his knowledge?? i don't need sleep i need ANSWERS

also makes sense that erland was behind the wolf genetic engineering thing which also links him to wolf

love the detail of erland glamouring himself to be taller. so real

SYBIL'S CHEEKBONES MADE OUT OF PIPES FKSHFSDKH all of erland's inner monologue is literally so humorous. slayed

but is letumosis mutating?? or have levana's people started engineering it for biological warfare to make kai more likely to go forward with the marriage in want of a cure?? usually i'd agree that the disease can mutate but the timing is just extremely suspicious, cause otherwise the best thing in writing would have been for peony to catch the mutated strain to give higher stakes to cinder

the opera singing shower scene - cress is such a DRAMA QUEEN and i LOVE her

i'll say this once and i'll say it again: scarlet is such a girls girl. looking out for poor cress and they haven't even met in person yet + she doesn't even know if it's a trap. i adore scarlet

knowing what i know about thorne now part of me reckons that the big softie just wants to use the reward money for philanthropy

iko is a ~material girl~

"young, semi-cute ones" remembering that thorne is 20, HOW old is cress. uh oh. ew. remembering cinder's age makes it a double uh oh since she and cress should be about the same age. disappointed because the rest of their interactions were totally chill and he didn't seem to have any real interest

i love how thorne is completely unable to take sybil seriously but also i'm freaking out like he's so unprepared cause he thinks the others are coming to help. he's fucked

holy shit the sat is crashing. talk about thorne "falling out of the tower" when he tried to rescue the princess

I LOVE THAT SCARLET WAS WATCHING HIM DOCK JUST LIKE HE WISHED FSKHFSDHK

wolf is an idiot WHY would he come down istg if he gets controlled i'm gonna smash my head in (note: he got controlled. since i need my braincells for homework i will make a raincheck on smashing my head in)

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees

[spurious]

even more mcshep fic recs

I slowed slightly down on reading due to writing many many words in a mad frenzy lately, but I do still have some recs! My fic rec selection process is just putting a tag in my daily note on obsidian with a link to the fic and my thoughts so I can find them later, and now I'm looking at what I've got and it's like...very evident that I spent some quality time in the whump tag in early May, so. be warned lmao

1)

No Place Like Home by Argosy | ~10k, rated T

An Ancient device gives John unexpected (and unwelcome) insight into the relationships of Johns and Rodneys across the multiverse.

I generally enjoy the “John and Rodney in other universes” trope in fics, and this one handled it in a way I haven’t seen before but really enjoyed. I want to say more but I think it’s better to let it unfold without knowing what’s going to go down, so. Some good John!pining, a dash of funny and a heaping helping of feels made this an absolutely delightful read for an evening!

2)

Scissors by @shetiger | ~4k, rated E

John has a no good, very bad day.

Uhhh warning for graphic torture? Honestly I just really love the way this drills down on both John and Rodney’s reactions, the horrible romance of it all. Idk man, if you're like me and find awful violent shit weirdly comforting sometimes, highly recommend?

3)

I Believe by Brumeier | ~1.5k, rated T

Rodney folded once under torture, he refuses to do it again. Not when so many lives are at stake.

THIS QUOTE: He doesn't believe in God. But he does believe in John Sheppard.

This is EVERYTHING to me.

4)

A Stranger, Half Asleep Still, Just Beginning to Remember by zabbers | ~10k, rated E

It's been twelve years, and the last person Rodney expected to rescue him from an unexpected kidnapping is John Sheppard.

This is the best kind of bittersweet, quietly devastating, beautifully cathartic angst with a happy ending. Absolutely loved reading it, a+ would cry again. The way time has battered them both, the sadness, and also an absolutely amazingly charged shaving scene!!!! ahhhhhh

5)

Comfort Break by @salchat | ~5k words, rated T

On the usual mission-gone-wrong, John and Rodney are hiding in a ruined house. John is hurt and being overly stoic about it as usual and Rodney wants John to admit to being in pain and accept his help. They talk.

This is just absolutely beautiful. I love John's dialogue in this, how stilted he is when trying to open up, it really feels so true to him. And Rodney's inner monologue, how he looks at the problem in his perfectly Rodney way and comes up with just a wonderful solution...so incredibly satisfying to read, so very very comforting.

[greywindys]

Share your thoughts on the final of BNHA once you finished it, please

Yes! Sorry, I'm late. I was away this weekend, so I actually still haven't had the chance to read the official translation, but these are some of my thoughts that I'm going to try to limit to a few paragraphs (feel blessed that I don't subject this blog to all of my anime tangents).

The tl;dr version is...whelmed, but more positive than negative.

I don't hate the ending as much as some people, but I can also admit that it's a tough one for fans who aren't there for Bakugou or Deku, and even then, there still feels like there are chunks missing from their respective stories.

Obviously, I'm mostly into this series for Bakugou. I would argue, objectively, that he has the most dynamic and satisfying arc in the series overall. For someone who seems to be more of an artist than a storyteller (this isn't to say he's terrible or anything, I actually think he's good at this too), Hori did a pretty good job with him. I'd say he fulfilled he promise to treat his story with care. I wish we had more inner thoughts, more conversations. The biased part of me thinks there should have been more recognition for what he contributed to the final battle. But then another part of me thinks, well, it's in character for Bakugou to want to keep those moments (i.e. what happened with Shiggy) private. We should have at least gotten a scene of AM signing his card. But I also knew we wouldn't because I, to this day, still believe that was a random thing Hori threw onto his death fakeout to make it seem more tragic, and not because he genuinely wanted it to be a part of Bakugou's story line. I'll stand by this! But he should've signed his card.

Idk if I'm in the minority about this yet or not, but I don't mind Deku's ending. It was surprisingly, refreshingly, bittersweet. This series has, in the past come across as too optimistic for me. I was full expecting everything to ~work out, and I mean, it still kinda did? But Deku losing his quirk, everyone growing apart and moving onto their respective adult lives, that's all very real. But I also don't think that takes away from Deku's identity as a hero. Those who expected him to end the series as the strongest, most admired, rich etc, hero perhaps have forgotten that Deku was never motivated by any of those. He's in it because he genuinely care for humanity and wants to help others, and he continues to do that into his adulthood, with or without a quirk. I don't think we're supposed to pity him, and it's too bad that's what some are doing. He's happy! And we see the impact he's made on everyone at the end.

At the same time, the absence of Deku's inner monologues in particular, create a weird distance from him, and wish Hori had brought it back in the final chapters. We never really got to know what he thought about the final battle. And even outside of him, I surprised at how much was skimmed over re: other important characters (Todoroki, Aizawa, Dabi, etc.).

But it it was burnout, I get it. Having written a fic that took two and a half years of monthly updates, I get it. I, too, received feedback calling part of my ending rushed, and I agreed. I knew it was rushed! I would get to certain points in the chapter and realize that the paragraph I was working on could be its own chapter. But I was just ready to be finished writing it (I love the story to this day, don't get me wrong), I didn't want to expand it anymore. So, I can't imagine what I would feel like after 10 years. So, I can't be that angry. In some ways, the loose ends leave a lot for the fandom to work with, and I know it'll inspire many amazing works.

So yeah, I thought the ending had its strong points and its weak points. But I appreciate some of the choices Hori made. I hope he can get his rest now lol.

[taegularities]

Oh I was entertained to the fullest and till the very last devoured the whole thing in one sitting like 🍗💋

Firstly I love it more than before everytime I read your recent works it's just gets better your writing is just getting better with every fic and the whole description just crunchiest shit 🫦🫦 which is so rare to get such quality in this fanfiction community and very few who just do it WE LOVE IT BABE the growth and hard work you put in these ffs so much love and appreciation for you and lots of respect

Personally love this inner monologue of jk's you did in this just OH MY FUCKIN GOD like for a good minute even after knowing he gonna be assy musty bitch I was rooting and feeling for this guy so much.

My thoughts were like okay it's just little insecure narcissistic eittiy bittiy baby boy we are dealing with who is about to get his shit wrecked up and down but DASH 💨 we got some other route I knew it exact the moment Chaos coming when oc mentioned the college and her friend like yes bitch ✨✨✨✨ you are fucked 🤭🤭 we are getting a HIT 🔥🥵 SHOW

And is it bad to say I feel little bad for the unreleased song unfortunate how poor song isn't getting released anytime soon #justicefortheunreleasedsong

WOW LIKE WOW scrumbley delicious smut gosh RID you really outdid yourself with this one just 👩🏻‍🍳🍳 I wanna know how you writing this good smuts lately so much better than some actual publishing authors 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Now coming to the oc's friend I understand her and sympathize her and nor I wanna sound like some completely unsympathetic person BUT !!!! like C'MON GURL HE WAS A CLEAR CUT VISIBLE RED FLAG he put on display of himself and still you went in like your friend is able to see more into your whatever relationship than you at all we clearly DELUSIONALLY BLIND 🦯 too our own goodness but that was very dumb 😭😭 of her I'm sorry like we can't even blame her people even IRL be doing shit like that. I'm not victim Shaming at all like yes what the fucker character of jk did was absolutely disgusting and deserved Karma he got at the end

But how come she never thought of her friend who was constantly there for her like if you would have asked oc to commit murder I'm sure she would have gone all 🤺🤺 not that we support such stuffs 🙅🏻‍♀️ but some 🦨 nasty deserve

Being for real if not legal action she and oc could have pull some smart move revenge prank back on him if only she genuinely listened to oc I don't know I feel bad how she just didn't give much thought and went away so fast after that fuckers bullshit talk

Btw I Love that playlist thingyy you did cherry on top loved how similar taste we share (⁠´⁠ ⁠❥⁠ ⁠`)

And about jk's character dynamic I feel like he always prefer himself in way he chased himself in people from very childhood getting full on best treatment and praise from all side clearly made him little narcissistic and self obsessed with zero expectations of returning back anything to the point he thought of anyone but him and his Chase for more appreciation and undivided love in different people all the time till he get's bored from them when they start asking back for the some love YK which is what we get to see with jangmi like all he wanted was typical love me all you can without wanting back in return till I get board and toss you I'm sure even after all that he keep on doing same shit with others assholes like him never stop any lower

Untill he got faced with something to Chase more just like parallel to his career we can see it's like he wants to something to engage with on constant like a spoiled brat child who is more so anticipated of opening the gift rather than receiving or appreciation of others hope it's all making some sense ⊂⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠つ

And I kinda I wish there was more of uglyness from oc's side yes I'm through and through satisfied but still I was wishing more of a femme fatale crazy havco taking place her making him all tangled up in love  and obsession full-on blinded by her to the point he can't still imagine her do something like this just swapping off floor from his feets like ⛽🔥📛👩🏻‍🚒🚒

Really love you appreciate you for putting this out here for us 💖🙏🏻

~🦴🔫 anon

32k in one sitting is insaneeee 😭 omg did i get better? thank you.. as someone with a creative hobby, this is all i could hope for :') gosh, i bet there are so many people out there who are amazing and do even better stuff than i do, but you're so sweet and i'll take the compliment 🥺

glad you liked the jk pov :P he's super secure and insecure about himself at once!! definitely is a narcissistic, whiny baby either way :') yes!! the world missed out on the song bc it was my time, one of the greatest tracks ever made, but what can we do 🤣 THANK YOU FOR LIKING THE SMUT. i am quite proud of it, if i say so myself, like i do think it was one of the better ones i've written so far :D how i'm writing such good smut lately? who'd know 👁 LOL

you right you right, the friend was certainly naive, but i guess that was just part of her personality, you know? like, jangmi was an extremely kind, extremely giving person. she trusted others and she believed in love, she just gave that trust to the wrong person. she hoped she could change him, or make him love her; just a very "oh a bad boy, i can fix him" kinda mistake. oc isn't like that – she sees through people fast.. and she tried to convince jangmi, but love is love and it does make you blind and you only really see the issues once the loved one is gone in one way or another. things would've turned out so differently if she'd listened to her best friend though sigh :') and oh, oc definitely wanted to take legal action! or hurt jk in some way, but jangmi, as someone who really really liked kook, did not want to go that far.. she was not the type of person to take revenge or pull a prank.

hehe okayyy, i put a lot of thought into the playlist!!!! so happy you enjoyed it!! any fav song on it?

yup yup, the top notch treatment he got from his family, and as the younger sibling too, certainly shaped him. made him selfish for sure; for him, nobody is good enough, and he def deffff doesn't expect anything from anyone!! except maybe attention and love, but he won't settle for long enough to actually give anything back. proceeds until he gets bored and then moves to someone else. chasing someone else was new for him, which is why oc intrigued him so much haha she didn't give a shit about his advances :P

yeahhhh, i think oc has a lot more in her than we know, but since the fic was already too long and we didn't see much of her thoughts or anything from her pov, it was a bit hard to go the full femme fatale route 🤣 not sure if he would've ever fallen in love with her, tbh.

i appreciate you so so much, babe!!!! thank you for dropping such a long fkn review??? i'm sorry i got to it so late, but i wanted to give a thought out response. literally, never stop and ily <33333

[thedawningofthehour]

the hamatos being like "yay we got him back !!!" n i look over to the scroll bar n its still in the middle of the page ,,, sure guys u got him back good job ahaha 😃

oooughgg this chapter is so good fai how are u so good at this ,, i dont have anything constructive to say but i need u to know that im obsessed with ur writing

u seem to think negatively about ur long dialogue scenes but i think theyre the highlights of the chapters for me ? i loved reading galois cass and tigerclaw just bantering on the subway . ur characterisation of everyone is so fun so their conversations are always entertaining and it sounds so natural !!!

galois seamlessly switching from "michelangelo" to "orange" in his inner monologue ... ouch

(also u dont have to ask us what we want in a chapter , just write whatever u think works best)

It was more that it just ended up being so long and I worry about people being put off by the giant word count. I can tell when that happens, during a 'normal' chapter the hit counter will go up a few hundred all at once and the longer chapters it'll tick up more gradually because people are waiting until they have some free time/are in the right headspace to sit down and read a 14k chapter lol. I mean, that's not bad, I just know that for me I do have a few fics that have piled up because the word count just seemed very daunting and I end up just letting those fics languish in my tabs. And especially if new people want to get into the story, I worry they'll look at how the second book has blown up and get discouraged.

But yeah, it's like in the middle of Portal 2 when Wheatley takes over, and you're all "yay he's gonna free me I won the game! What do you mean there's still half the game left?"

Gale's like that one chick who started calling her white-man coworker random generic white guy names after he said her name was too difficult, lol. They can't use his proper name, they don't get names either.

[ahundredtimesover]

Wow I thought Chapter 11 was heartbreaking. This chapter was 10 times worse. I mean, the angst just didn't let up. From the first word to the very last word, I was basically crying the entire chapter. And that ending when he didn't come to the dinner. I kind of expected it, but when it actually came true, it hurt even worse than I thought it would. I can't say I blame him for distancing himself like this. The two of them are horrible at communicating. They still haven't talked to each other, and who knows when they will at this point. It just sucks so bad that they have to part on these terms without any clarification of where they both stand. They both just walked away from each other so easily. They each kind of think the worst of each other. Jungkook thinks she pushed him away because she doesn't want to be with him. And OC thinks he distanced himself so quickly because he just wants to get her leaving over with. I really wished they had gotten a chance to say goodbye and get their feelings out. But they both just swept it under the rug. She could have easily gone to his place, and he could have gone to hers as well. But neither took that first step. They're just leaving everything to chance that maybe they'll find each other again in the future. Not considering the fact that one of them could be in a serious relationship when they do cross paths next. What then? Are they each really willing to lose each other permanently because they are scared to admit their feelings? I know you said this would be a happy ending, but if you didn't say that, I might really think this story would not have a happy ending for them. It seems too easy for them to lose each other forever in the place they're at right now. They made no effort to communicate at all, even a simple goodbye. That's really crushing.

I'm curious to see what happens when she sees his new addition. And when she's going to see it. Will she see it right away, or will it take months (a year?) to see it. I'm still convinced there will be a decent time jump in one of these chapter. At least 6 months, a year, maybe 2 years. I don't know. But if she wants time to figure out who she is and if they can find their way back to each other, one would think that would take many months, if not years, to figure out. It certainly can't take 2 weeks, or 2 months. It's not enough time.

Also, I just wanted to say that even though this is based on a kdrama, this has way more emotional heartbreak than any kdrama I've seen. I think it's because it's written. When you read angst, it hits harder, because the written story often has way more inner thoughts of the characters. So you tend to feel their pain more. Whereas in a kdrama you really don't get their internal monologue, so the angst has to be conveyed by their expressions and actions alone. You really can't get that heartache from seeing expressions compared to how you can feel it while reading written words.

Hiii I'm sorry this is late, I got so caught up with uni and school but now I'm here! 😊 Thank you so much for reading. I love that chapter 12 was more crushing than chapter 11 haha it was meant to be! I went through the motions writing it, too. And it's frustrating. Like you said, THEY COULD HAVE TALKED. There were so many things they could've done but they didn't. And this isn't me exaggerating but I rly do believe it happens irl when people are truly too scared to admit what they feel and risk losing the person they want. When you have two characters who literally don't express themselves much, this is what happens. So they end up thinking the worst (for lack of a better term) of each other.

They're just leaving everything to chance that maybe they'll find each other again in the future. Not considering the fact that one of them could be in a serious relationship when they do cross paths next. What then? Are they each really willing to lose each other permanently because they are scared to admit their feelings?

That is an important thought process. They already think the other person let them go that easy. They very well could find someone else because there was no relationship between OC and JK to go back to. They'll just be each other's what if and go about their respective lives. That's a possibility. And nooo we don't want that, not after everything they went through haha

Also, thank you for the compliment about this having more emotional heartbreak bc true! Written works hurt you in a certain way bc you get to read and absorb the emotions. It's also why I prefer mixed POVs! Words can crush you and I've felt that with other stories, so I'm glad mine have that effect on you as well! 💕💕 Appreciate you reading and dropping by! 🫶🏼🫶🏼 hope you enjoy the last 2!!

[sophieswundergarten]

Sophie's Breakdown Over the Relatively Calm Chapter 19 of S.O.S.

I... I am having A Time. Enjoy my liveblog of the disaster that I became over the course of this chapter. Slightly less property damage this time, though!

EDIT: SHOOT I FORGOT TO TAG BODS @nobodysdaydreams

Oh my heavens we’re starting with The Blueberry Example

I do enjoy how it’s like “Nicholas was concerned his brother might be delusional” but what he actually says is just “You’re delusional and you make no sense!” Exasperated sibling behaviour

And you actually explained Curtain’s thought process!! Afjsdhj And it still doesn’t really make any sense at all

Number Two and her Napkin Moment. I feel so bad for her, she’s probably losing her mind inside her head

“Even after all these years, his brother still was so easily overwhelmed” YOU KIDNAPPED HIM, NATHANIEL. HE’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT, OKAY???

“who despite his…well not jealousy, but curiosity of his brother’s choice of companionship” Hitting him in the head with a brick

HE’S COMPARING NUMBER TWO TO A SECRETARY??????? Two bricks.

“ “Kidnapped?” Curtain repeated, in the shocked voice of the world’s most innocent man accused of the most heinous of crimes.” Bods, you have to stop writing such incredible and quotable lines or I’m just going to spend this whole chapter quoting your own stuff back at you

HE MADE JACKSON AND JILLSON HIDE IN THE BUSHES?? WHY IS HE LIKE THIS HALF THE PLANTS AT THE COMPOUND ARE THORNY AND BAD TO TOUCH

Oh. Oh, they’re excited to find someone who understands how important another person can be. THEY’VE NEVER MET SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY HEALTHILY LOVES ANOTHER PERSON, HAVE THEY?

(Also, I think I’d be glad to be free of babysitting Auguste too. I hope that doesn’t emotionally backfire on them later…)

Aw, poor SQ. I feel for him, being in a line and all that horrible pressure. And he’s got his little translation dictionary!!!!

THIS LADY SHOULD BE CONCERNED. WHY IS SHE JUST LETTING HIM STUMBLE THROUGH THIS??? HE IS SO VERY CLEARLY A DISASTER. HELP HIM!!!

He thinks his dad might not care enough to come after him…

He’s so scared!! I just want to give him a hug

AND HE’S APOLOGISING FOR LOOKING NERVOUS. SOMEONE HUG THIS CHILD

“ “That would be great, thank you,” he answered, happy to finally have something he could use to get his mind off his father.” This was where I heard the ominous music start playing

And he’s flying!! He’s never been on a plane before. He should get to go on a hot air balloon. From what I’ve read people say it’s kind of like being a bird because of how quiet everything is

WAIT. I DON’T THINK SQ’S EVER BEEN TO NEW YORK. THAT CITY’S HUGE. THAT IS ONE OF THE WORST PLACES FOR HIM TO BE GOING. HE’S GOING TO GET SCAMMED AND/OR MUGGED AND LEFT IN A DITCH

Curtain was probably really good at helping tiny SQ with his fears, because he could explain it all in logical and understandable terms. Learning about the science always helped me calm down when I was little

(Also, I really like the parallels with the turbulence and the titles and everything!!)

“It’s not you,” Rhonda replied, “it’s him.” I love Rhonda

YEAH!! MILLIGAN AND MISS PERUMAL FRIENDSHIP PARENTING SUPPORT GROUP!!!!

“As for Mr. Benedict, while he wasn’t taking his brother’s career change particularly well” Askjfdhjd Even her inner-monologue is so polite and tactful. (It’s okay, you can say “supervillain”)

They’re so sweet :)

I love how they really want to help each other. They’re trying their best!! And they’re so supportive

THE LLAMA

Afjdskjsd Number Two hates llamas? I’ll believe that

“As they did not have to be under the technique to remain loyal to Dr. Curtain, and neither wanted to take up Dr. Curtain’s precious time by rudely reminding him that he hadn’t used the technique on them yet, neither of them had actually had the happiness technique used on them.” Oh dear. Oh, I want to give them a hug too. These poor kids

YEAH. YEAH, NICHOLAS. I WONDER WHERE HE FOUND THEM.

Auguste!!! I am afeared

(Personally, I feel like “happy” can be other colours than yellow. Like, the letters and word itself are yellowy in my mind, but the emotion is more sky blue?)

THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER EXECUTIVES. I’VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT THEM.

I have known a couple people who eat lemons! I think a few of them might have used salt too :( 

SEBASTIAN

 Do. Do Jackson and Jillson know where Brazil is?

You’re so good at writing Sebastian, he’s so creepy and makes me uncomfortable, but also I understand that he’s pretty much totally innocent in this mess

Oh, poor Milligan has been bottling all this up and has no one to talk to about it

OH NO

OH NO

WE HAVE REACHED A VERY BAD PART

And Nathaniel remembers running away. But he feels like SQ is so different from him (Like Nicholas) that he wouldn’t do that.

OH MY GOODNESS CURTAIN CHIPPED HIM???????

Oh, Curtain was going to take him to see all those art museums :( 

“How had he guessed the code in one try?” Okay, seriously, you’re willing to MICROCHIP YOUR CHILD AT AGE FIVE, but you WON’T CHANGE YOUR SUPER OBVIOUS PASSCODE?????

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I feel like this is going to go so terribly. I am very nervous.

The last straw is getting electrocuted. Of course, Nicholas /s

(He’s probably not even upset that he got hurt, no, he’s worried about the children or the llama or something)

MARLON

Well. I feel a tiny bit mollified about the “walkabout” excuse now.

Oh boy. Oh boy, of course Curtain knew that Nicholas would wander around all day. I’m so mad at him.

“Exeunt” I hate him so much

As stupid as the “defensive fence” line is, it makes me laugh every time and it was no exception in your style. Incredible

““Nicholas,” Curtain interrupted, in an uncharacteristically relaxed voice. “I’ve moved on.””

How do you make me want to slap him so hard with only a single sentence?? You create too many emotions in me, Bods

“Nicholas sounded so overwhelmed and so broken down. It was an emotion Curtain remembered from when they were children. And just like when they were children, it was his responsibility to calm and comfort his twin. The only difference was that now he had the perfect tools to do so.” AND ONCE AGAIN, YOU MAKE HIM ACTUALLY SOUND SLIGHTLY REASONABLE. I FEEL BAD FOR HIM NOW

And Curtain is excited to have someone who understands him…

AND NICHOLAS IS FIGURING IT OUT. BUT HE’S SO OFF. AND HE’S SO TIRED.

“It wasn’t exactly mind-control if people consented to it” OH BOY IF THAT ISN’T A SENTENCE AMONG SENTENCES

And Nicholas feels so bad!! He didn’t mean to!!! He’s exhausted and upset, and that’s the place that Curtain put him in, but it’s hurting both of them :( 

And he knows how hurtful that is to Nathaniel specifically :( 

AND NICHOLAS WANTS HIM TO BE LOVED FOR HIMSELF. NOT FOR WHO HE’S PRETENDING TO BE. EVEN CURTAIN HASN’T FIGURED THAT OUT YET!!!

“But the man named Curtain who stood him wasn’t the brother that Nicholas remembered. He was a stranger, one who might have destroyed his brother forever.”

PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

“He remembered seeing Nicholas on television. Winning awards after award and competing in science competitions, high school debate meets, and college quiz bowls, living a happy life without him”

OH LOOK IT GOT WORSE

“Because he loved his brother? Or because he wanted to control him? / Maybe some twisted mixture of both” WELL, THAT ABOUT SUMS UP THE WHOLE FIC

YOU WRITE SUCH BEAUTIFUL POETRY BUT IT’S ALL SO HEART-RENDING I AM COMING FOR YOUR TOOTHPASTE AND COOKING IT INTO PANCAKES

Oh, Bods, you’re a genius

Writing that piece from Sebastian’s perspective was AMAZING. So incredibly clever. I am literally vibrating from excitement.

And poor Nicholas!! Because he knows. He knows what’s going on and why it’s bad, he’s got it exactly down, but he’s so caught up in the emotions (And Curtain’s weird, delusional, off-the-wall responses to life probably aren’t helping) that he can’t figure out what to do

I love Number Two. How she deals with literally any emotion? Be overwhelmingly objective and pretend the feelings aren’t happening

YEAH!!!! TACTICAL FUNGAL INFECTION :D 

But, also. She chose to leave home because of her familial conflicts. Nicholas didn’t really have a choice, and also we’re assuming he was younger than her. (I certainly hope that’s the case) They have way different perspectives on this whole thing

I might argue that Number Two is overly cynical as a self-defence mechanism as well, while Nicholas is a bit too trusting because he can’t handle the thought of someone needing a second chance and him not being there to offer it. Interesting

AND IT’S INFURIATING THAT CURTAIN ACTUALLY STILL KNOWS WHAT MAKES NICHOLAS COMFORTABLE, BECAUSE THEN HE ALWAYS HAS TO BE ON HIS GUARD AGAINST MANIPULATION D:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am so, so very worried about SQ. And, begrudgingly, Curtain. Bods, can you please stop making me care so much about the people who are committing various war crimes?

Afkljdskjhf He DID bug their little house!!

“implying that his control was bad” See? This? This right here is why you need therapy

OH!!! YOU DID MAKE IT SO HE KNEW THAT SHE WAS ESCAPING!!!! GAH THIS IS SO BAD BUT I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT YOUR WRITING

Recap of what’s going on on the blimp: Milligan’s panicking, Miss Peruaml is pretty calm because she has no idea what to expect (And also she knows that she’ll probably take control of the blimp if necessary because I fully would expect her to be able to do something like that), and Rhonda is as calm as ever because she is ridiculously unflappable

I really love that she calmed the flight attendant down, though, so it made me smile to see it written out in your style

SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING

YOU’RE CUTTING BETWEEN THESE SCENES ON PURPOSE TO STRESS ME OUT, AREN’T YOU??? /s /j /It’s awesome

Oh, the poor flight attendant guy :( 

(BODS STOP MAKING ME OVERLY INVESTED IN PEOPLE WITH TEN SECONDS OF SCREEN TIME)

((Actually, please don’t stop. I love your writing. Never change))

Afjdsfj The employees being like “WE ARE HERE AT THE SAME TIME EVERY DAY. ALWAYS. RIGHT HERE. SUPER HELPFUL, IF ANYONE IS LISTENING”

You have such a clever way of including humour while also I am chewing my fingernails off

I’M RUNNING OUT OF WORDS. NEXT CUT SCENE YOU ARE RECEIVING PROPERTY DAMAGE

I have so many questions about the blimp pilot. Who is this man? Why does he speak this way? Does he know how to fly a blimp? Is he the Captain Noland of the skies?

HAH. GET THEM RHONDA.

“But my sadness did not last long because I didn’t let it” Sir, you went on a thirty-some-odd year long revenge campaign which you are still actively engaging in. Please stop speaking these boldfaced lies on live broadcast television.

“And to remind Nicholas of why he didn’t deserve it.” YOU HAD YOUR WARNING, IT AM TAKING HALF THE STUFFING OUT OF ALL YOUR PILLOWS. JUST HALF. AND THEN I’M STITCHING THEM BACK UP AGAIN. ALSO. YOUR FRONT DOOR NOW HAS EXTREMELY SQUEAKY HINGES.

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh on. Jackson and Jillson :( 

Oh! I think this might be one of the snippets you shared for Ask Games a while ago! Either that or I’m crazy, which is an equally acceptable and probably answer at this point

CURTAIN IS SO EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED BUT THAT DOESN’T GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE I HAVE FULLY LOST MY MIND CONGRATS, BODS

(Your microwave has been welded shut)

CAPTAIN NOLAND????

“Going on seven divorces, it certainly seemed that way. And yet, even the staggering amount of alimony payments he owed couldn’t hold a candle to his gambling debt.”

ASKJdSKJ WHAT??? Bods… I don’t even have anything to say… This poor man…

“that is if we can make an example of these fruit filching criminals” You write Show Cannonball impeccably asdhk

THEY’VE BEEN BANNED FROM THE SHIP!!!!!!!

““So…just to be clear…we are banned from the boat, but other than that we are free to go?” asked Bauer. / “I’m afraid so,” answered Noland. “I’m just sorry it had to come to this.” / Cannonball bowed his head gravely. The Shortcut was a beautiful vessel. To be banned from it was one of the worst punishments he could imagine.”

I’m really glad I was alone for this part, because I could no longer contain my laughter and, in fact, I’m still laughing. Superb writing.

“What he had done would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his days, both the punishment he’d delivered and the emotionless eyes of the four women who had dared put the ecological well-being of this beautiful country in jeopardy with a single tangerine. / May God have mercy on their souls.”

I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE SHOW NOLAND. HE’S NOT BOOK PHIL NOLAND BUT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND FOR ENTIRELY DIFFERENT REASONS

Jeffers!!!

And, of course, Curtain correcting him to use “Society”

Oh my goodness. Just. The whole two paragraphs about Curtain deciding to use the phrase “treat them without mercy”. I’m not going to copy it in here, but I adore it and you’re a genius

“It was his destiny.” Is definitely not the most devastating line you’ve ended on before, but oh dear. I feel so bad for the poor Jeeps.

I TOO HAVE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR ABOUT THE BRAINWASHED ADULTS. BUT I DON’T THINK YOU CAN BLAME ME FOR BEING A LITTLE BIT TERRIFIED. Oh my days, this was incredible. Bods, as per usual, you have made me experience fantastic excitement, fear, and also laugh and feel many much deeper feelings. It’s like each chapter is a little movie. I am seriously running the full span of human emotions any time I pick this fic up. Whooooo. Certainly a rollercoaster, though I suspect from your hints that the next chapter is going to have me sobbing on the floor again.

AND I KNOW THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. I KNOW THE PLOT OF THE SHOW. And yet you have me sitting on the edge of my seat, in the highest level of suspense regardless. You truly do have a talent, my friend. You make each character and perspective feel fresh and new and exciting, and I can always understand things from their shoes. Each one is so complicated and real-feeling. Very deep and fascinating characters. Okay, I am going to go and see if I can trick my brain into taking a nap now. If I failed to communicate with my usual fervour, please know that I am definitely feeling absurdly excited about your writing. I’m just very tired at the moment. Have a good day, friend!!!

[axiina]

Was Coriolanus Snow a bad person from the very beginning?

!!!SPOILERS FROM THE BOOK AND PROBABLY FROM THE MOVIE!!!

For the past few days, I have been seeing a lot of musings on the character of Coriolanus Snow, and probably the most popular topic is "Was Coriolanus Snow evil from the beginning?" or even "Was Coriolanus full of evil by nature?". Due to the fact that everyone is sharing opinions on this topic, I will also write something from myself, because personally, this is a topic that annoys me a lot. My opinion is supported only by the book, so if something is inconsistent with the movie then you know why. I warn you already at the start that my argument may be long.

So, let's perhaps start with how the book The Ballad of Songbirds and Serpents is written. The book gives us the opportunity to see the inner monologues of the biggest antagonist of the Hunger Games series, Coriolanus Snow. I think most of us feel dislike for the character of old President Snow, and one feels dislike for this character from the very beginning. Many people criticize his thoughts in the first few pages saying that Coriolanus is evil from the very beginning. The character of Coriolanus is strongly negatively characterized primarily in our own opinion because we know what kind of person he is years later.

At the beginning of the book, we are dealing with an immature eighteen-year-old, who actually "plays" the head of the family, whose task is to make sure that the Snow family and its position in the hierarchy does not change, even though it already did during the war. Well, the war, that is, the time when Coriolanus grew up. Coriolanus is an orphan raised by his grandmother. He grew up being surrounded by Capitol propaganda and lost his parents during the war, of which his father was killed by rebels, further confirming that Capitol propaganda is a fact. As we read, we can clearly see that the war left its mark on him. To this day he still remembers how, for example, people behaved when there was a famine in the Capitol. In short, his situation during the war is a bit of "Coriolanus, Tigris and Grandma'am against the world." For years, they clung to the lie and pretenses that the Snow family continued to be rich despite the fact that at times they had nothing to put in the pot. Through what situation and environment Coriolanus grew up in, he developed a certain value system. At the beginning of the book, one can strongly feel that the most important things for him are the Snow name and his ambitions, which are also linked to his family being high in the hierarchy of the Capitol.

Some people believe that Coriolanus never cared about his family at least by the way his inner monologue looks, such as calling his grandmother an "old crazy woman" or thinking about what Tigris has for a " trade" for his shirt. More than once on the pages of the books, however, we can read that Coriolanus loves them both. The very thought that someone would hurt Tigris makes him disgusted and ashamed that he could think such a thing about his cousin in the first place. Later in the book's plot, Coryo doesn't even want to hear about the possibility that Tigris could use her charms so that their family would have something to eat. More than once in his inner monologue, Coriolanus says that in many situations he trains his self-control not to do or say something that could hurt someone. This is what I would like us to focus on now. Coriolanus' thoughts are one thing, but what about his actions and how he expresses those thoughts? Well, at first, he doesn't express them. None of his thoughts, which are supposed to show what a bad person he is from the very beginning, come into effect.

Does this make him a good person? No, however, the very fact that despite his irritation at his grandmother he prefers to keep quiet about the matter rather than react in a way that could offend or hurt her is a good sign. His strength at the beginning is precisely his self-control. He is unlikely to see himself as a good person. He justifies every good decision to himself in his head with his goal. Sometimes even Coriolanus himself can't name what he feels. I think any of us can see that innocence is missing in Coriolanus, and the only time it shows up is when he has his mother's compact close by. The children in the Capitol through the war had to grow up faster. The same goes for those in the districts as well, of course, but that's a topic for another time. Now let's focus on Coriolanus' colleagues. Most of them are as immature as he is. Rich kids from good homes, where the only right truth is the Capitol's propaganda. However, we can see that there are people who disagree with the Capitol's narrative, such as, for example, Lysistra Vickers, who often expresses her dislike of the Hunger Games.

One should also not forget Sejanus, who comes from the districts and feels like a traitor in the whole situation (Sejanus in general is an interesting topic, if you want I can also discuss it in the future). Coriolanus chose a simple path to survive in the Capitol. To be "part" of the propaganda and stay out. Besides, why should he lean out when his value system and opinions are the same as the rest of Capitol society, and his moral compass is concretely failing. Here comes the question.

Would Coriolanus have been able to make statements like Lysistrata and Sejanus if his moral compass had worked differently? In my opinion, no. The fate of the Snow family was hanging in the balance anyway, so I honestly can't imagine that Coriolanus would further endanger his family and its good name to fight for the people who are "responsible" for the death of his parents and what his childhood was like. This does not speak positively about him, of course, but is it strange? The very fact that Coriolanus most "enjoyed life" and could afford to love (which is also a debatable point) Lucy Gray only at a time when he thought things couldn't get any worse, and his values and plans were already in ruins anyway, says a lot about how strongly rooted his beliefs are.

Coryo has a huge amount of anger inside him, but at first the most important thing is that he has this self-control and lets this aggression go beyond the realm of thought. Often even he catches himself thinking that what he is thinking about is wrong and he shouldn't think that way. However, these reflections do not stay in his head for long and he continues to think the same way. He does not allow himself to justify his actions with goodness. He always has to justify them to himself as "I did it because it will be beneficial for me" even though he sometimes does something without thinking. His very opinion of himself also makes us see him as a very self-interested person. There is no denying it, he is one.

Sometimes, however, he could allow himself a moment of weakness, because one can see that he is not a completely heartless person. When, through his fault, which was not intentional, Clemensia almost dies, Coryo is at first very much affected by this. However, you also can't forget the fact that after a while he is downright terrified at the thought that he could end up like her, so once again he decides to take no chances and keep his head down, as it won't go in his favour. One step forward and one step back. That's how Coriolanus' decisions can be described.

I think the moment when Dr Gaul makes the students write what is good about the war perfectly shows that Coriolanus, despite being morally grey, was not a bad kid, because yes, in the beginning, he continued to be just a silly and immature teenager who thought he had control over the situation. He knew what he mainly associated the war with. With the trauma and suffering he and his family experienced. Often Coriolanus seems indifferent when it comes to the fate of others outside his family. In this situation, yes, Coriolanus is somewhat selfish, as what matters to him most is the fate of him and his family, and at times Lucy Gray, to whom he has become attached. After that, it only gets worse, but now we are talking about Coriolanus at the very beginning.

Personally, I think Coriolanus at the very beginning is a morally grey and very human person. His inner monologue makes us identify with him at times, whereas at other times we are shocked at how he could even think this way. Coriolanus begins to think of Lucy Gray as more than just "his property" the moment she saves his life, although his thoughts still point more to obsession than infatuation. Nonetheless, I think calling him a person "evil from the start" is a bit of overkill, since in this way we somehow agree with Dr Gaul's theory that humans are inherently evil. In my opinion, his "evil" was a decision and the result of circumstances. After that, of course, it only got worse, and we can only watch as he makes one bad decision after another and as he gradually descends more and more into those layers of anger that are inside him, as well as madness and paranoia.

In that case, did Coriolanus have a chance to become a completely "good" person? Personally, I think not. I think that, at best, Coryo could remain morally grey. His beliefs and values are simply too deeply rooted in him. His character is also shaped in such a way that it would be impossible to speak of him as a typical good person. Coriolanus, at his best, gave Lucy Gray everything he was capable of, given his character, morals, beliefs and value system. It wasn't much, but we can get the impression that indeed what he was already able to give her was sincere in his mind. Was it really so, however? It's hard to judge. It's hard to distinguish at what point Coriolanus' thoughts how he sees the world end, and when what really takes place begins. It is worth noting that the book is not entirely written from Coriolanus' perspective. Suzanne Collins has used free indirect speech.

In the later stages, we only see Coriolanus making bad decisions himself, and even when he does something good he turns it, sometimes unconsciously, in such a way that he makes more bad decisions. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes shows his moral decline (which wasn't even that high), and in no way do I mean to defend him. Personally, I think he is a very complex and composite character which also makes him interesting. Coriolanus had many opportunities to go the right way and make good decisions to remain morally grey. However, he did not do so and became a ruthless and cold tyrant and dictator. In summary, in my opinion, Coriolanus at the beginning was simply a morally grey teenager who tried to keep his already slowly disintegrating life in check in order to feel that he was in control of the situation. At the end, we already see the person we know from Katniss's story, although even at the end, the thought of what would have happened if he hadn't gone that way pops into his head for a brief moment. However, he quickly abandons it and we see the wrong person. The future president of Panem, Coriolanus Snow.

Of course, all these are just my thoughts. Also, I haven't read the book in the original, so I don't know to what extent the translation rendered Coriolanus' inner monologue. I'd love to know what you guys think about it!!!