#i have a bad memory and I'm too lazy to scroll up

[theboombutton]

Bad Fictional Data vs Fictional Bad Data

WARNING: This post will include discussion of a name that might be Alice Dyer's deadname. I won't be calling Alice by this name or using it in the context of that name being a pointer to Alice, but I will be using the name, uncensored, when talking about where and why the name appeared in chdb.xls .

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You may know that as part of the ARG, the sleuths on Statement Remains uncovered a document called chdb.xls, allegedly a list that has something to do with The Magnus Institute. There's a list of names, ID numbers, first and last names, dates of birth, and information apparently related to each person's "score" in an assortment of psychological/personality tests. Three of the names in particular have stood out in a lot of analyses: Samama Khalid, Gerard Kaey [sic], and Connor Dyer.

You likely don't know that the commonly linked version of the spreadsheet, ported to Google Docs and linked in the TMAGP ARG Masterdoc, is presented out of order. (I'm guessing they didn't lock down editing until it was already all out of order from various people messing with it - totally understandable, this is not a callout post, thank you for making this easily accessible to people.)

But let me tell you about something I discovered by looking at the spreadsheet in its original order, and the almost certainly incorrect rabbit hole of theorizing it has sent me down.

Bad Fictional Data

Until episode 2 I had the same thought about the Dyer listed in the spreadsheet that I think most people did: that it was Alice's deadname, and that she had therefore been one of the Institute's young subjects. But after Alice had absolutely no reaction when Sam mentioned the Magnus Institute to her in episode 2, I now think this is significantly less likely.

Don't get me wrong: it's still reasonable to think that the Dyer listed in chdb.xls is Alice. Maybe she had some kind of supernatural experience that wiped her memory. (It probably wasn't that Alice was too young to remember, as the Dyer on the spreadsheet is listed as being at Piaget Stage 3, which occurs from 7-11 years old; but it's always possible that the Magnus Institute was using the names of legitimate psychological tests to hide their tracks when recording more esoteric data.) The point is, this isn't hard evidence that Alice has no connection to the Magnus Institute; it just made me go looking for more evidence.

I went back to the spreadsheet to look for more clues about whether or not this was Alice's deadname. What I found instead was some extremely sloppy fake data at the bottom of the spreadsheet.

For context, here are first ten names in the spreadsheet:

Note how each ID begins with the name's first and last initial.

Now check out the last ten names:

Not only do these IDs no longer always match their subjects' names, they occur in order: CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV. The first names of each pair match the first letter of each ID, but many, though not all, of the surnames don't match the second letter.

My first thought was that whoever Rusty Quill had contracted to generate these names had gotten sloppy at the end of the list, created the IDs all at once using this alphabetical pattern, and picked names to fill in that roughly matched the IDs. But hey, we could use this to our advantage! Any name that was filled in as part of a series of IDs with an alphabetical pattern like this could be removed from consideration for red string analysis - we'd know they were meaningless fakes added by a lazy contractor, and not clues or characters that might show up again later.

Scrolling back up the spreadsheet, we can see the person generating the data having more care the earlier we go. We find the beginning of the AA/BC/DE/FG/HI pattern at line 136, but at first, the names mostly conform to the initials they've been given. JK09874 "Josie Jordan" at line 154 is the first break from the "first two letters of the ID are their initials" pattern; and breaks occur more often the further you go down the sheet.

Scrolling up to before line 136 (AA09911 - Aaron Atkinson), while the pattern isn't yet at AB/CD/EF/GH levels of obviousness, the first initials are still in alphabetical order. Zoe Hart follows Yara Logan follows Xavier Freeman follows Wyatt Edwards. The data creator skips a few letters - for example Niamh Fenton is followed by Phoebe Emmett, and S and T are together in the same line in Skye Travers.

We can follow this less-obvious version of the alphabetical pattern up to an abrupt break right at line 118, above which the IDs don't follow an alphabetical pattern at all. (They might follow a different pattern, but it's not one that I've found yet.) So that means we can discount all the names in line 118 and below as purely fake, generated lazily by a contractor, and not worthy of our attention for the purposes of red-stringing. Right?

What the fuck?!

(highlight is my own, it is not present in the original document)

My first thought was that the sloppy data generator had done the funniest thing imaginable, sending everyone on a wild goose chase about Alice's deadname just by having the name "Dyer" on the brain while looking for a surname that started with D. This would be Very Funny. No plot relevance, no implications, just the brain fart that launched a thousand theories.

My second thought was that maybe Connor Dyer was the last legit name on the list, and whoever started filling the rest of the sheet in with alphabetical junk data was inspired by the "CD" initials in the first place - whoever it was went on from there.

These are both valid thoughts! But I prefer my third thought:

What if it's on purpose?

Fictional Bad Data

There is a very obvious break between the set of data that doesn't look obviously* fake, and the set of data that is immediately identifiable as such. If we assume that this was intentional - and I want to reiterate that it all being unintentional is still a very real possibility here - why would someone at Rusty Quill want the data to be structured like this?

If the sharp dividing line between reasonable-seeming data and obviously fake data is intentional on RQ's part, it would suggest that we should take the data above row 118 as in-universe real data, and the data below row 118 as in-universe falsified data. It suggests that someone, either at the Institute or after its demise, was adding nonexistent children to the roster of The Magnus Institute. Why would someone want to do that?

There are all kinds of possible reasons, but here are a few off the top of my and my theorizing buddies' heads:

Financial fraud (institutional edition). If the Magnus Institute received funding on a per-child basis, they'd have an incentive to inflate their numbers.

Financial fraud (researcher edition). One or more people on staff were blowing off their child-analysis sessions and recording fake numbers for fake children. This would be ballsy as hell if they could be fired for it, but it was the Magnus Institute, so there's decent odds they couldn't be.

Scientific fraud (faking conclusions edition). The Magnus Institute in the Protocolverse claimed to be doing research on giftedness in children, which is the kind of thing that you'd normally publish in a scientific journal. It's not unheard-of for dickhead academics to falsify data to generate statistically significant results, since statistically insignificant results aren't going to get you published.

Scientific fraud (obscuring paranormal bullshit edition). If the Magnus Institute was using legitimate psychological test names to record Fear-related test results, it's possible their results showed different patterns from what you would expect from the real tests. They could have added the fake children to balance out the dataset as a whole.

Pseudonyms. The children are all real, the Institute just started using fake names for them for privacy purposes. They couldn't go back and change the names they'd already written properly for some reason. Probably something paranormal.

Those are all pretty interesting possibilities, and if we could narrow them down, it might tell us something about what things were like at the Magnus Institute before it burned down!

And the other big question is: why did RQ make the dividing line between the two sections, the first likely-fake entry, Connor Dyer?

One straightforward reason could be as a troll, a red herring to watch fans get in a lather over. And once the community inevitably noticed all the obviously falsified entries, RQ could eat popcorn and watch us lose our minds over whether or not that's even a real entry! (That sounds really fun, I would absolutely do that.)

But let's dig a little deeper, and look at what Connor Dyer being on the border between the real and fake entries would mean in-universe. Because of its position as the border between real and fake, it would be very easy for that entry to be accidentally included in the wrong group - a real research subject discarded as fake, or perhaps more interestingly, a fake research subject accidentally reclassified as real.

Remember, if a name is fake in the context of the Magnus Institute's research, that doesn't mean that the name itself is made up. If I was trying to think of a name that fit the initials CD, and those were the initials of my next door neighbor's kid, I might just write their name in as a lark. Especially if it was my first time trying to get away with falsifying information: this is a kid that verifiably exists and lives in the area.

My theory, supported primarily by my love for The Implications instead of actual evidence

Twenty years on, after all institutional memory of the fraud was long gone, trans icon Alice Dyer applies to work for the OIAR - an institution that (according to this theory) has an unofficial preference for hiring former Magnus Institute kids.

They are very confused when Alice proceeds to act nothing like a former Magnus Institute kid. It doesn't occur to anyone that her entry might have been falsified. What reason would anyone have to do that?

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* Of course people with a background in data analysis or statistics will see immediately that even above line 118 this is a wild-ass dataset that would raise red flags for falsification, but at least it's not "the alphabet over and over" levels of obvious.

[calithso]

do u have art tips (for like anatomy and face expressions and angles)? I was scrolling though your ACC and when I tell you I’m eating ur art, I’m actually digesting it as we speak, I love it sm 😭😭

TRACE!!!! IDC WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS. TRACE ART AND LEARN FROM IT. USING 3D MODELS IS OKAY ‼️‼️ PROFESSIONALS DO IT AND YOU CAN TOO ‼️‼️‼️

but of course, don't post it online or claim it as yours, that's just wrong 🫶

BTW THIS IS JUST WHAT I DO. IF ANYONE ELSE HAS SOME TIPS, DROP THEM IT'LL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

art rules are meant to be broken-💥💥💥

i think i'm the worst person to ask for tips cause i don't follow my own guidelines. i've only recently started to use references but i'm usually too lazy to search for them. which is pretty bad since i can't really visualize stuff in my head (your artist has aphantasia)

when i do half body to full body poses, i just use 3d models and start from there. i usually adjust things to my liking after i copy out the pose. i'm still currently learning anatomy so idk what tips to give about it rn BUT i do have some tips

i think angles helps a lot with what mood you want to convey in a drawing. it may also help with expressions. you can use boxes for drawing different angles of the head. i do this when the angle of the head i'm drawing is hard to draw.

an example on how i used it:

another thing you can try is to learn an artist's anatomy style by drawing guidelines on top of a drawing like this:

see how everything is placed and what bodypart is line with what like: the eyes are in the same height as the tip of the ears, the elbow is line with the dip of the waist, etc.

just adjust stuff to your liking. your work doesn't have to be super anatomically accurate, if it is, there's a possibility that the pose might look stiff so change up some things and exaggerate them. just practice some angles, it'll become muscle memory in time.

if it looks nice, then it's good enough 👍

observe and redraw. it's just copying art styles i like and attempting to incorporate it into my own art. my art style inspos are wildwolf_group and donaldakron (i’m also absolutely in love with their lighting and shading) on twitter because the way they draw hair is so nice.

study art styles 👍 i like looking at their sketches and studying how they do specific things like hair and faces in different angles. pinterest is a huge help if you want art inspo. it's okay to copy poses from artworks but be careful to not copy it entirely if the pose looks complicated or unique, you might get accused of theft 😓 (it's brutal out here)

if you want more art tips, i recommend watching bluebiscuits's videos on youtube. speedpaints have also helped me a lot in the past (we need to bring them back <///33) i also recommend watching art streams. i spend a lot of my time on twitch. it helps understand how an artist draws and may also provide inspo.

some art streamers i frequently watch are: uqi32, yyebuan, meanddeadlines, eo58, mikamuse, Teikki_, hazmatEN, jianrouVT, manda, KandaEm, neg_illustration, AmefuRin, owohiropon, shengtaki, thekansta, pixzli, gravitydusty. I KNOW IT'S A LOT BUT I'M ON TWITCH 24/7 😭

there's also user-cm2co1hw2u (twitter: pdman2) and kuzuvine (twitter: ksk535) on youtube

that's all for now. if some of you have more questions (whether personal or art related) just ask away. i don't bite :)

[deflatedrock]

Lemon Eyes Part 1

I haven't written an x reader in so long, so I'm rusty. Gender Neutral reader btw. Also this 100% has some self indulgence aspects in it, this is a self insert blog after all. Pretty much follows the main game, it ended up taking a mind of its own because of the amount of times I had to pause writing to focus on school lmao. It doesn't matter for this fic series but Imma put it here anyways: I believe Arven to be around late 18 or early 19 range. Now that that's over with, let's get to the fic ! Words: 2,077 ----

Arven was never really a character of interest to you. Well, he was. Fighting titan Pokemon for their Herba Mystica–a name straight out of Minecraft Botania in your opinion–to make new recipes for food? Okay, you were mainly zoning out when he was talking to you, and again when he explained it when he, Nemona, and Cassotepia were fighting over your attention. A strawman fallacy out of your mind. Your plan for this treasure hunt was to capture all the other Pokemon in Paldea’s dex, being too lazy to do so in your home region. Paldea is a smaller piece of land anyways (A/N: in my opinion), so completing the 400 dex shouldn’t be too hard.��

Well, it wouldn’t be if you didn’t actually have to listen to those three; Using Operation Star to give your Pokemon more battle experience and using the gym challenge to capture more experienced Pokemon. Such a hassle. And before you knew it, La Primera was scouting you for the champion league. You might as well have done a favor for Arven, it's been about a week since the treasure hunt and he’s asked for your help. 

Which leads you to where you are now. Having fought off the Stony Cliff Titan, Kawlf, with Buizel and Arven’s Shellder as the first titan before now facing off against Dondozo, the false titan dragon, and final titan. Your goal of pursuing the full Pokedex on the back burner once Arven revealed his motive for gathering the Herba Mystica. You felt bad for ignoring his favor the first week of the treasure hunt, thinking about Mabosstiff in pain this entire time.

It doesn’t matter now, as your Toxtricity lands the finishing blow on the mini titan and Arven pats you on the back. You brush off the feelings of butterflies that rush to your stomach, chasing off the childish feeling as you follow him inside the cavern. Staring at the ground, you can’t exactly recall how it happened: falling for him. Maybe it was when you were in your dorm, exhausted from speedrunning all your classes to get back to your goals–scrolling through your Rotom phone for pictures to delete. Landing on the photos you had with Arven and you making sandwiches out of the herbs, noticing how much fun he was having even if the sandwich wasn’t as good as the two of you weren’t expecting. It made your chest feel fuzzy. You favorited a few and put them in an album, just in case you want to look back on memories. 

You found yourself often tracing around his face whenever you took a stroll down memory lane.

Maybe it was when you both had Home Economics together. Seeing him turn around and give you a smile with a thumbs up whenever you answered Professor Saguaro’s questions. Causing you to give a slight smile back before busying yourself with your doodles so you could avoid the heat rushing to your ears. Until finals, you couldn’t help but spare a few glances at him. At least it never affected your studies.

Well, the teachers noticed to say the least. You’ve always underestimated how obvious student crushes are to teachers, but not to peers. Visiting during their free time, only for the conversation to only subtly turn to Arven as your glances appeared to older adults as puppy gazes. You really have to keep that in check. Luckily, you always got what you needed out of the conversation class wise. Law of equivalent exchange because it's something for them to take back to their colleagues.

The interaction with History Professor Raifort was especially embarrassing, however. It revealed more than you would have liked when you approached her after class about the Scarlet Book, wanting to know more about the King’s tale. You remembered as her eyebrow went up, relaying the information that it has been checked out for quite a while and you must have known who has it because you spend your treasure hunt time with him. You felt your ears reach the point where the heat of them is visible to others, Ms. Raifort attempted to hide a chuckle beneath her hand. You thanked her for the information and quickly left.

You didn’t expect the teachers to learn how you dismissed Arven when you first met him, and it was through some shared experience that you have fallen this hard down the stairs of a crush. And the millions of ways the teachers’ minds could think of what that experience was keeps you up at night (of course, nothing too out there, mainly getting stuck somewhere for a long time. Nothing that crossed the boundaries of a teacher being pulled into the lives of their students). All because you fell for the boy who wants to heal his partner Pokemon.

“Hey bud? You haven’t taken a bite out of the sandwich, did I mess it up somehow?”

You blinked back into reality. Looking up from your sandwich that you don’t remember making with Arven, you felt pinned by his eyes as you tried to come up with an explanation that’s not ‘I think I love you’. You shook your head in response. Telling him that you just noticed how Koraidon hasn’t come out to eat your food yet, which speak of the devil, gets said Pokemon to come out of its ball.

Arven, of course, brings out the extra sandwich he begrudgingly made in this event, tossing it to Koraidon who ate it without a second thought. Both of your faces contort a bit, seeming to share the same question of  ‘did it even chew?’. After that animalistic scene, Arven brought out Mabosstiff, who looked much better than he had the first time you saw him. You felt awkward, mainly because it was such an intimate moment and you were nervous that the build up of anticipation would get to the poor canine, so you looked away as he ate. 

You looked back once he finished, watching in hope that he’d get up, do something other than lay down. Though, you understood it was a selfish desire soon after the thought came to mind. Arven’s face dropped as did yours as you both understood that even the Herba Mysticas couldn’t heal Mabosstiff. Scrambling for words to say, scouring your brain for comfort words, you held your tongue. It was best to let Arven silently express his disappointment to the wall. The pokeball fell, and you took a second before you sighed, getting up to go hand it over to Arven. But, your eyes widened as Mabosstiff lifted his head, beginning to put one leg up at a time. Your eyes meeting Arven’s as he had turned around to go to pick up the pokeball up as well, hope holding out for the two of you. You covered your mouth as Mabosstiff went over to pick up the ball, lifting it up towards Arven as his tail wagged. Arceus, you were tearing up. You couldn’t help but wrap an arm around Koraidon as Arven was overjoyed with the recovery of his partner Pokemon. After a good five minutes of joy, your Rotom phone began to ring. Rotom flew up to your face, answering the call and you were greeted by Professor Sada and her analysis on Koraidon’s abilities. You glanced at Arven, whose face was a mixture of surprise and anger, even more so when she implied it was she who lent you Koraidon. You shifted awkwardly in place, knowing that it was Arven who battled you to see if you were worthy in the first place. The mystery of the relationship of the two grew more as Professor Sada was surprised to hear his voice and recalled her efforts to contact him to which Arven rolled his eyes and showed little interest. It would have been a moment of brief empathy from you to Sada if she didn’t completely trash it by saying she needed him to get into her lab. But get into her lab…? The only one? Surely she would’ve had others to also have access to her lab. And why Arven? Well– that question felt more explanatory. They both resembled each other in many visual aspects, so you had assumed he was related to her in a way.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the call ending, blinking at the black screen. You weren’t paying attention again. Great. It didn’t matter as you looked up at Arven, confirming that yes, Professor Sada is his mother. “She was never at home with me, I haven’t seen her in years! And the first thing she wants out of me is to go to her lab?!” You gave him an empathetic look as he decompressed, thinking to himself. He sighed, and before you could console him about the matter, about to tell him that the two of you didn’t have to go to her lab and could just ignore her, he started talking again. “I might as well get you into that lab, the one off of Poco Path. That’s where we met, remember?” You smiled slightly at the last part, nodding, giving him a small, “Of course I do.”

That got him to smile a bit as well, announcing that the two of you should get going before he changes his mind. You started to walk off, Arven pausing, but you assumed it was to decompress further. Oh Professor Sada, where are you?

—

It’s safe to say that the moment you see the Professor, instead of greeting her in a friendly way, you might just throw a right hook at her instead. 

Listening to Arven and seeing her reaction of seeing her son after so many years only to call him to the deepest part of the most dangerous place in all of Paldea? Arceus, Arven was right (although you never doubted him), she was the worst parent. She definitely rivals the one lady in the Alolan region you had heard about. You weren’t sure you even wanted to go. But you could tell that even if he didn’t know it yet, Arven wanted closure about his mom’s disappearance and neglect. So when he asked if you were going to Area Zero, you said yes. What caught you off guard was the glare he had given you, even if you understood he was in an emotionally vulnerable state. Ouch. But he did agree to go, and he was 100% pumped up to start a fist fight with his mom, even if he only spoke daggers instead of throwing them. With that, he challenged you to a Pokemon battle, admitting it was to see if he was ready or not, causing a slight blow of air to come out of your nose. Your best friend was a dork.

You lagged behind to look over the lab while he headed outside, both to appeal to your curiosity and to push your feelings back down further. His glare wasn’t personal, but it felt that way. He probably felt a bit betrayed by your response no doubt, originally wanting nothing to do with his mother, and yet here his best friend was, seemingly compliant with being an errand boy. You leaned against the dusty couch, watching the dust particles rush to fill the air. Immediately getting back up and dusting yourself, you don’t know why you expected the couch to be worth leaning against. 

You started walking around the lab. Examining everything of interest to get your mind off your internal battle. If abandoning her child wasn’t proof enough to show how dedicated her research was, then surely the mess of papers and a hundred or so books definitely was. You thought about taking down the boxes on top of the shelf, but decided against it. You’d get lost in her research, trying to figure out what was so important that Arven had to be collateral damage.

All this made you feel worse for neglecting him at the start of the treasure hunt, but there’s nothing you could do about the past. Besides, you’re making up for it now by being there for him, aren’t you?

Cracking your neck, you headed for the door, taking a breath–cough because of the dust after–you stepped out. Looking at Arven as he redirects his attention from Mabosstiff to you, smiling at him and nodding, Arven returns your actions. All because of a boy and his partner Pokemon. 

[autumnoakes]

Hiya! Tumblr rando here who was scrolling the tags of a post and wanted to pop in and say yes - strabismus is often called a ‘lazy eye’ (which I think is BS, partially bc I’ve had 3 surgeries to correct my strabismus and my eye sure as hell wasn’t ‘lazy’ (ableist connotations aside, I ended up needing the second surgery because the first one kinda worked too well? 😅))

OOP!!!!

i had surgeries on both eyes as a child. unfortunately both my parents have memories as bad as mine so i have no clue either what the procedures were or what the actual diagnosis was.

i also got this ask from another anon which is worth checking out. i'm a bit overwhelmed with a bunch of assignments + a midterm due this week, but i want to look more into it when i have the time/energy

thanks for the ask!!!

[hrrytomlinson]

here are a bunch of fucking fantastic fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of october. I recommend that you read these great fics in november, if you haven’t already!! also check out the Reverse Big Bang and 31 Days of Smut!

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)

1. Damn the Dark, Damn the Light 20k

“Why is this face of beauty ringing so true?” The genuine confusion in Harry’s voice causes Louis’ chest to painfully twinge. “You’re a complete stranger in my eyes, William Shakespeare, but not in my heart. How is that possible?”

Louis wants to live out every romance plot he has ever written in his own life. He wants to be the protagonist of his own narrative, the hero who finds true love and gets his happy ending. Instead, Louis is stuck with only dreaming of such wild fantasies and writing them down. He can create entire romances in his dreams, yet he can never live one.

2. Threadbare 20k**

Harry Styles was eight years old when Louis Tomlinson kept him from falling into a machine in a Manchester textile mill. He was 18 years old when nothing, not even the threat of death, could keep Harry from falling in love with Louis.

3. Don’t Come Down 6k

Louis takes Harry home to meet the family.

4. I’ll Take Your Pain 2k*

Or, soulmates have the ability to feel each other's pain, and Harry finds his after getting his arse waxed.

5. We'll Never Be Lonely in the Dark 6k

Detective Louis Tomlinson keeps getting blocked when he tries to use his psychic gift to locate a missing child. One late night he manages to get through but instead of finding who he's looking for he lands in the bedroom of a mysterious man.

Harry Styles, nursing student, baker, and all around exhausted medium, thinks he's having the best sex dream he's ever had when his fantasy man shows up in his subconscious. But is that really what's going on?

6. Aquarius 6k

Louis realises he's slept with a man of every star sign except for Aquarius, and that just won't do.

7. Forget-Me-Not 26k**

“I- I can't move” the elder one finally croaked out, and with more distress Harry came to see that the vines had wrapped itself around the lad's ankles.

With a dumb nod Harry took a couple of steps forward. He could see Louis flinch with his sudden movement but he tried not to think about it. Instead, he lifted his hands, and tried his best to concentrate, hoping his power would listen to him just this once around the other man and untie him.

Ever so slowly, the vines started to detach themselves from Louis's calves, and soon enough, the man was free. With shaking legs, Louis stood up from the position he was in, and suddenly the air around them got thicker. “You're- you're a witch.” Louis hissed under the harsh wind, making Harry flinch at the accusation in his voice.

Or, where Harry had something he did not wish to have. Louis was just trying to figure him out.

8. Gem and the Hunters: The Treasure of Babylon 34k**

Louis Tomlinson wished, for one thing, his whole life: to find the ancient city of Babylon. After one failed attempt, he swore to never again attempt a search for the city. His friend, Niall Horan never pushed the issue, but when his family finds themselves in trouble, Niall’s only option is to convince Louis to try and find Babylon again.

Niall enlists the help of two famous treasure hunters: Harry and Gemma Styles and their friend Liam Payne. Harry and Gemma love ancient cultures as much as Louis and would give anything to find Babylon. Liam is just along for the ride, running from a shade in his past.

The five embark on the adventure of a lifetime… and find much more than any of them bargained for.

9. I Never Did Believe in the Ways of Magic (Through I’ve a Feeling It’s Time to Try) 54k*

Louis can’t shake the feeling that there’s something in the woods, pressing close and watching him with a heavy gaze. It makes him antsy, fills him with jitters. He wants to run, or scream, but he knows to do so would only put him in danger if there’s actually something out there after all. He’s sure he’s just imagining it, but his heart nevertheless pounds in his throat.

When Louis Tomlinson goes on a songwriting retreat to the Laurentian Mountains of Canada, this isn't how he expects his evening to go.

Or the au where Louis is a singer who has been cursed to never make music again and Harry is a reclusive witch of the Canadian mountains who's going to help him break the curse.

10. Cancel Your Reservations, No More Hesitations 10k

Louis still has his eyes on the bill when he barges into Harry’s room without knocking because he doesn’t want to get evicted and the smell hits him first.

It’s overly sweet and unnatural, and his stomach drops because it smells like an omega. Louis eyes widen and he looks up and - Harry’s on his hands and knees, a half spilled bottle of synthetic omega slick next to him and a huge, knotted dildo pressing into his hole. Harry’s face is flushed and he looks fucked-out and -

“I’m sorry!” Louis squeaks out and quickly backtracks, face red, because he wasn’t supposed to see that and Harry’s an alpha but he - Louis isn’t going to judge him.

Louis is an alpha and so is Harry, but Louis helps him through his rut anyway.

11. Foothold 18k

Louis has crossed the galaxy with a ship full of crystals; they’re the only thing he has to offer in exchange for safe harbor. He thought getting to his destination would be the hardest part, hoping that once he got his family to safety everything would fall back into place; Louis struggles to adapt while his sisters thrive. Louis suspects Emperor Styles may have something to do with it.

12. Don’t Want Shelter 76k*

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…

When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other.

13. Wasted Like a Memory 4k

Six years before Hurricane Nicole forces Louis and Harry together, Fizzy gets married. Harry wrestles with reconciling the different versions of Louis he knows. (Part of Don’t Want Shelter)

14. Taste and Plead 3k

Or, the one where Harry wants something, and Louis' never been one to deny his boy anything.

15. Home For Christmas 22k**

The Shameless Hallmark Movie AU you probably didn't ask for.

Or, the one where Harry didn't think he wanted a family, but with a little Christmas magic (and maybe one Louis Tomlinson) he realizes that he is very, very wrong.

16. A Million Stars 2k

Louis watches Harry perform at the Tower Theater, and the events of the night unfold in an unexpected manner.

17. No One Like You 19k**

Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

18. Howls Like A Beast (You Flower, You Feast) 16k*

France, 1754. Château de Versailles.

“You don’t love me,” Louis had said, utterly blasé as he callously fractured the heart of a Harry that was just barely eighteen.

“I do,” Harry had insisted pleadingly, green eyes already watering.

Louis had rolled his eyes, exasperated and flippant in the way only beautiful, young boys could be when faced with the affections of a baby prince. He had run his finger down Harry’s cheek then, had forced him to look into his eyes as he delivered the final blow.

“You’ll change your mind once you’ve seen more of the world,” Louis had teased, pressing a brutally delicate kiss onto Harry’s lovely, pure cheek. “Once you’ve been properly defiled.” He had whispered filthily, delighted by the gasp he heard, the frantic pink blush that had rested high on Harry’s cheeks, the power he had felt at knowing he could make the Crown Prince squirm.

19. You Flower, You Feast 18k**

He's King of the Underworld, but don't assume Louis has it all. He could stand for some excitement in his monotonous, eternal life and maybe, even.....a soulmate.

(Despite not having a soul.)

And along came "Harry".

20. The Dead Things We Carry 25k*

September ‘49

He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out. This is the man who saved Louis’ life.

For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself.

“Louis,” Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight. This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real.

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.

21. Do You Like My Sweater 13k

When Harry's alpha fraternity decides to host a Sadie Hawkins dance, outspoken omega Louis has a thing or two to say about it.

22. Yellow 84k**

The city of Gotham turns blood red with a new, mysterious criminal element, a beautiful woman named the Blind Cupid. She threatens to tear the fabric of the city apart, aided by her deadly protégé, the Cat. Can Batman stop them? Will he resist the bewitching allures of the Cat?

A Batman/ Catwoman AU

23. Things That Go Hump in the Night 6k

Louis goes camping. Something horrible happens. Louis is miserable.

It’s science.

24. This Thing Upon Me (Howls Like a Beast) 8k

Harry and Louis weren’t meant to be together. They’d met when they were put together through their university’s AO MatchUp, a program that set up alphas and omegas based on the schedules of their ruts and heats so they had someone to help them through it. It was pure luck that they were put together.

25. Hands Clasped Tight 44k**

Or the one where Harry and Louis are high school teachers and their students have been playing matchmaker for over a year. Little do they know, Harry and Louis are already married.

26. And the Truth Shall Set You Free (...Maybe) 17k

Betism: A religion based on the belief that the beta gender has been chosen by God to protect and defend the purity and dignity of the human race by resisting and condemning the lustful ways and flawed biology of the alpha and omega

Harry is a Betist and Louis is an alpha who runs with a bad crowd. This is what happens when two worlds collide.

27. (We Will Be) As If Chosen 35k**

There's not a royal in the world who doesn't carry some sort of secret, and Prince Louis has more than his fair share. To protect himself and his family, Louis withdrew from the public eye and tried to live a quiet life, biding his time until his sister Lottie could take the throne in his stead. Unfortunately for him, the national media and the worst person Louis has ever met team up to bring him kicking and screaming back into the spotlight.

Under the watchful eyes of millions, Louis has to figure out how to keep his carefully constructed house of cards from falling, and the first step to accomplishing that is to keep from falling in love with the irritatingly charming Prince Harry, who just won't stop showing up and trying to whisk Louis out of the constraints of his boring life.

Or: the course of true love never did run smooth, because sometimes people are stubborn and sometimes people are scared and sometimes, just sometimes, love can cause just as many problems as it solves.

28. It’ll Be 13k

Louis has always wanted children and he decides he's done waiting for love to come first. However, after adopting a baby girl just days after she's born, he quickly realizes how hard parenting is. Louis hires Harry to be his Nanny, and it all works out great. Until Louis falls in love with him.

[oekaki-chan]

hi clef!! i first stumbled upon your art on twitter via a comic tutorial you posted. i finally decided play AA a month ago and remembered about your art and thankfully found your account again. After also finding your tumblr,, its just. wow. going through people's art tags is always a journey, especially when theres stuff in it that are older than a decade, haha. i just wanna say that your improvement over time motivates me to keep drawing, as ive been recently studying forms and shapes in other people's art, and yours is definitely one of the best examples. As im taking a gap year to work on a portfolio for college, i finally had the proper opportunity to start studying art as i wanted.

i mainly wanted to ask- when drawing, what types of references do you use for character poses? they always seem really natural but also have that "homemade feeling"- as in applied really well into an art style. The way you draw expressions is also really immaculate! I was wondering (if its alright with you), whether if you have tips on that too?

thank you regardless, and i hope you have a great day!

I hope this doesn't come off as bragging because honestly when I'm drawing poses I almost never use references 😭💦 During my art journey I conditioned myself to draw without references because my parents didn't allow me to have internet access until I went to high school, it was hard to get references for drawing so it was mostly just "frick around and see what happens", I just tried to project whatever I have in mind into the canvas 😂 Instead of training my eyeballing skill, I ended up training my muscle memory and the way I imagine poses in my head (that's why I'm a bit bad with realism drawing because I have bad eyeballing and real-time observation skills).

I do use references sometimes when the pose is a bit hard to get because it has many foreshortenings and hidden parts like this Diavolo doodle I made, but I studied the reference instead of tracing it so I can get a better gist of how things work in case I'll need to draw the same pose again in the future. (Also I hate that whenever I try to find some references for a specific pose google suggested me porn sites instead zzzz)

But I'm not saying using references is wrong, not at all 😭!! It's just my way of drawing! I'm lazy and get distracted easily once I'm scrolling the internet pages, it's also why I don't usually use 3D models in CSP because trying to get the right pose with that may take a while and the outcome isn't really worth the time because it often looks stiff, weightless, and unnatural.

And same goes for expressions! I think being a (somewhat) avid manga reader extends my visual library for expression (and um, I think drawing steamy stuff helps too because you can practice drawing exaggerated expressions and poses, just make sure you're not drawing the same type of expression and pose/angle over and over 😳💦)

I hope this helps and I'm sorry it got a bit long 😭😭!!

[plumroseiswriting]

A Very Bad No Good Evening

Roman Klymenko x Angelique “Angel” Smith belong to @a-literal-no-name *posted with permission*

Please heed all trigger warnings TW: Memory issues, ED, body checking, self deprecation, anxiety, time blindness, minor meltdown, food talk

SFW Tags: Hurt/Comfort, situationship, angst, fluff, venting

A/N: let me know if I need to add tags/TW! This one is the Angel centric companion of the last one! I may have projected a bit. Don't judge me. I finished this at 5am and did a little more with this in general cause I'm not as nervous so hopefully its okay.

It is irritating when you are in the middle of a thought and it just vanishes.

Angel stood in the middle of the room. She was in there for something. She had be in there for something. Her mind felt like a dry erase board that'd been wiped clean while you were still writing notes.

She turned back to go back to her room. She was still in her pajamas, it was 4:30 in the afternoon. She was supposed to change hours ago but she got stuck doom scrolling in her bed again. It made her feel lazy, she had a to do list and everything and she hadn't done any of it.

You've always been lazy though.

Her room was surprisingly clean, there was trash and some clothes on the floor but she just needed to grab all the dishes and-

Wait where was her drink? She had one didn't she? When did she put it down? It wasn't on her little desk or her dresser or on any of the shelves.

She left the room again.

Not in the bathroom, but she should pick up the socks before she forgets or they'll be there for the next week. Her laundry basket was almost full, she would have to try and get them washed tomorrow or she would be out of clothes too.

What was she-? Oh her drink.

The kitchen was clean aside from the bowls in the sink. She hated doing the dishes, the soap made her hands crack but the feeling of those latex gloves made her skin crawl. She had to wash them though, or they would start to smell bad. She turned on the faucet, waited for the water to get hot.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

R: Did you eat?

Always checking in on her. She paused, playing with her lip. She hadn't eaten, she wasn't hungry. Well no, she was hungry but she'd forgotten until now and really didn't feel like it. That would not be a good excuse.

A: Of course I did! 🥰😋

R: When? What was it?

Angel looked at the time, how was it almost 6 already? She hadn't done anything yet today.

This is why you're always in a rush

A: I ate at 5 and I had 🍑, and toast with honey. Sounds good doesn't it? Are you jealous? 😏Maybe I'll let you have some later...😉😉😘

She sighed loudly. She ate all the fruit he'd cut up for her already, what, yesterday? The day before? Anyway it had already been eaten, so if she did eat later it would have to be something else and she didn't want to put in that effort. She needed to. She didn't want to.

R: That's not enough food, Angel.

She rolled her eyes. She was getting frustrated.

A: 🙄😑I'll have a snack later Romi.

Angel tossed her phone on the chair and ignored it, rubbing her face until it almost hurt. She was supposed to be skinny and pretty and petite. That's the image she wanted, an image that fit. Skipping sometimes because she didn't feel like eating would be fine. Why force it anyway, that just gave her a stomach ache. She'd eat tomorrow. Maybe. Thinking about it put a knot in her chest.

If she didn't finish what she was doing and ate instead, she wouldn't finish anything at all.

The sound of the faucet suddenly came back to her, spinning around quickly to turn it off before the sink overflowed. Steam rose into the air and she knew she couldn't stick her hands in that yet. She sighed, she'd have to wait for it to cool off.

If you remember... or have the energy to do it later...

She scratched at her head, her eyes, her neck, with her long nails. It felt good, satisfying, like when someone washes your hair except you know exactly where to scratch.

Angel went back to her room again, she felt like she was walking in circles. She was getting annoyed with herself, that irritating confusion building in her head, it spun right behind her eyes. Not dizzy but cloudy and confused and she hated it. She had to be able to get at least something done before midnight. Just one thing. This time she wouldn't leave the room until she got something done. She wouldn't.

She looked up at the dress hanging on her door. It wasn't what she usually wore really, but she'd found it at a thrift store and it was just so pretty she had to get it. It was white, with lace detailing over the bust and long sheer fluffy sleeves. It would go perfectly with her heals and her pink leather vest and she knew Roman would love feeling the fabric. She hadn't gotten to wear it yet. It was too small, but she could get herself to fit in it if she tried hard enough.

Yeah, skipping a couple meals wouldn't hurt. This is fine for now.

She gazed around the room again, it was maybe messier than she'd thought earlier but it was still manageable. She grabbed the trash bag she'd started the day before and began shoving all the miscellaneous trash in it. It was mostly paper and drink cups. Getting most of that didn't take long.

You're still in your pajamas

Angel groaned, putting the bag down and pulling out one of the big black tshirts she'd stolen from Roman. It was dirty, she probably should wash it... she pulled off the pajama shirt and slipped the t on, it made her feel tiny, covering her up like a tint. She smiled, shoving the collar of it up under her nose and inhaling deeply. It eased her a little. She wasn't going to wash it anytime soon. She pulled on some shorts and quickly got back to cleaning.

She could feel her energy leaving. Her stomach started to hurt. That nagging feeling that she was going too slow, that she was running out of time, it wasn't helping the spinning in her eyes.

She pulled the hoody off her mirror and paused. She stared at herself a moment. The shirt definitely looked like a tent, her collar bones poking out sharply, her knees were sticking out from the bottom of the shirt. They looked bony. Her thighs weren't small, but her knees looked weird. She grabbed the sides of the shirt, pulling them tightly behind her so she could see her figure. Her boobs were too small, her thighs were big but her hips weren't, her shoulders were too wide and she didn't have a butt.

Eating could make you're boobs bigger. Might even grow as ass. It'll make you bigger.

She closed her eyes tight, letting go of the shirt and shaking her head. She didn't have time for this she needed to clean. She turned around too quickly, knocking the trash bag over and spilling most of the content right back onto the floor.

Her eyes stung.

The nagging, the spinning, her stomach hurt, she was running out of time.

What time? What deadline do you have? What are you forgetting?

Angel kicked the bag as hard as she could, the trash inside flying across the room.

"Why can't I EVER get ANYTHING DONE!?" Tears started to tip over her eyelashes. "Stupid, this is so fucking stupid," she hissed. "I can't ever get anything right, nothi- I FORGOT THE FUCKING DISHES"

Angel threw her bedroom door open, slamming it into the wall, she was crying now, frustrated and angry. She just wanted to get ONE thing finished, ONE, and she couldn't.

She marched back to the kitchen and stood staring at the dishes.

She didn't want to do them.

She needed to do them. It wouldn't take long, the water wasn't that hot and she had to get something finished.

...she didn't want to do them.

She was breathing a little too hard, her stomach twisting painfully, the confused spinning in her head, the burning in her eyes, it was overwhelming. The image of herself in the mirror, disappointed and unhappy, the dress she still couldn't wear, the fact she couldn't for the life of her remember whatever was nagging her. She was hungry, she didn't want to make food, why did wanting to make it matter? She NEEDED to make it but that made her want to do it less.

She sat down. In the middle of the cold kitchen floor, she just sat down and cried, rubbing her face, scratching her head, she wanted to throw her glasses across the apartment, the energy stuck in her limbs. She just sat there. Frustrated, thinking too much and angry about her inability to think at the same time.

What time was it?

Sniffling she looked around the room. Where had she put her phone? She'd tossed it on the couch. Very slowly Angel stood up. Her arms and legs heavy and dragging as she walked.

Her phone was face down on the cushion. She picked it up and plopped down, grabbing the fluffy pink pillow and curling up in herself. The screen was too bright for a second, it stung.

R: I'm bringing icecream.

Angel frowned, right now? She looked at the time, it was 9 o'clock. She opened the phone going to the text.

R: Don’t roll your eyes at me. You need more than a snack Angel, at least eat some cereal for fucks sake.

R: Don't ignore me.

R: Angel.

R: Fine. I'm coming when I finish working.

R: I'm bringing icecream.

She sniffed, the last message came in half an hour ago. She looked at her kitchen. She should at least try to finish them before he got there. He'd lecture her she was sure of it, with his arms all crossed and his face squished and while most of the time it was cute she really wasn't in the mood.

She didn't move. She got on her socials and started scrolling. She didn't move when she heard someone walking down the hall, she didn't move when she heard the key in the door, she didn't move when Roman walked in. She just laid there, frustrated because she just couldn't move.

He looked at her. She could feel him looking at her. He was holding a plastic bag in one hand and his keys in the other. He closed the door and sighed.

"What's wrong Angel?"

Angel sniffed, she was still crying. He was waiting for an answer. "I can't do the dishes."

He raised a brow, "You can't do the dishes?"

"No Romi I can't, I tried and I can't okay? Why are you even here." She shoved her head into the pillow

He paused for a minute. "Okay." There was stifled irritation in that word. His heavy steps got closer, she could feel him towering over her. His hand brushed her hair, his calloused thumb running over her cheekbone. "I remembered I didn't get you peaches. You haven't eaten today, have you?" She didn't answer, he huffed. "Alright."

He walked away. A second later she heard the freezer open and close. Then the sound of clinking dishes. Angel peeked over her pillow. Romans back was hug. He rolled up his sleeves and started washing the dishes in her sink.

She should be the one doing that...

A few minutes later the sound of the water draining reached her. Angel wasn't crying anymore, but her head hurt, and she still felt terrible.

The freezer door opened and closed again. Roman came back to crouch in front of her. "It's sorbet, they didn't have icecream. And strawberries. Come, have some." He spooned some out for her, but she didn't open her mouth to take it. "Angel, please." She buried her face back in the pillow.

You're acting like a child...

He put the small container on the table in front of her next to the glass of juice she had completely forgotten she was looking for earlier. He took a deep breath, muttering something she couldn’t understand. He picked her up, hugging her to his chest, letting her legs wrap around him, and sat back down.

Angel buried her face in his neck. He smelled like cigarettes and soap. She stayed like that until she fell asleep.

[blueparadis]

Fanfic End Of The Year by @queenangst

First of all thanks to @katsupeach for reblogging this. My ask is OFF & it'll be for quite a while but this list of questions intrigued me because it's not entirely self-indulgent. I'm actually here to write,read & grow with others. So,here you go. Have a sneak peek in my blues & hunting.

Tagging : @thewordfae @kazuwhora @httptamaki @manjiroscum @fic-dumpster @kshira @sukunasbabymama @i4nanami @you who thinks self-acknowledgement matters the most like me <3

Just pm @izanasqueen for a fresh set - I'm a lazy person so it took nearly a week to get all the stuffs listed.

Favorite fic you wrote this year

The Burnt Letter. - Tokyo Revengers

Least favorite fic you wrote this year

Can i say none ? I know it sounds prideful but some fics are not that bad to be listed here. I wouldn't post until I'm satisfied with it. Wait, the explanation do sound like boasting.

Favorite line/scene you wrote this year

Piercings. from Chainsawman

the whole - I'm quite shocked how I pulled it off

Total number of words you wrote this year

too lazy & it's constatly changing.

Most popular fic this year

Painted with Guilt. - Tokyo Revengers

Least popular fic this year

Piercings. - well you know CSM

Longest completed fic you wrote this year

The Burnt Letter. - Tokyo Revengers

Shortest completed fic you wrote this year

Sanzu Haruchiyo.

Longest wip of the year

still a wip! wOw!

Shortest wip of the year

well how short is actually short but maybe this Manjiro Sano

Fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year

TOKYO REVENGERS

JUJUTSU KAISEN

Favorite character to write about this year

Kokonoi Hajime - Tokyo Revengers

Favorite writing song/artist/album of this year.

Album : Most Of Us Strangers. by seafret

Song : Semaphore : it's a recent realease & it's on loop && my ringtone. I think that suffices as fav.

Artists - well … … … please have a look at this.

A fic you didn’t expect to write

Imaushi Wakasa - 505

Something you learned this year

I need to uninstall Spotify because of ads or I'll have to switch to premium. My ears are bleeding.

Fic(s) you completed this year

Most of them thanks to my insomnia.

Fics you’ll continue next year

Those I couldn't write this year,most of them are going to be series. Keep scrolling to find out :¿

Current number of wips

Five & maybe more - MHA, TR , DS & JJK

Any new fics to start next year

Yes! Two; both from Tokyo Revengers ;)

Haitani brothers x f-reader - sounds cliché? Wait for it. **Not bragging :)

This one's secret :))

Number of comments you haven’t read

Ayeeeeee. 50+ i guess :)

*sigh *sigh *a Nobara sigh.

Most memorable comment/review

These two : @zoraedits , @passionateuchiha

& @wakasa-wifey for commenting on 505 - Imaushi Wakasa. That was my one of the biggest moments so far :')

Events you participated in this year

Here - Collabs & Events. (6) i guess

Fics you wanted to write but didn’t

Black Dragons x f-reader - TR

Manjiro Sano x f-reader - TR

Nanami Kento x f-reader - JJK

Favorite fic you read this year

That's quite hard but

The boy with the dragon tattoo by @shujiful

Watch your mouth by @sukunasbabymama

Fics you read this year you would recommend everyone read

House of memories by @katsupeach

Teacher Series by @thewordfae

La Isla Bonita by @manjiroscum

Deer in headlights by @fic-dumpster

Black licorice by @kshira

Number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year

As in self-made bookmarks or what?

There are too many so I created a secondary blog as an archive and read in peace :)

Favorite fanfic author of the year

@thewordfae for JJK

@kazuwhora for TR

Longest fic you read this year

Forever by @cyancherub (I'm still catching up with your other works hehe)

Shortest fic you read this year

This by sei ( she deactivated her acct)

Favorite fandoms to read fic from this

I'm tagging the writers who made me fall in love with the fandom & charaters moreeeee.

My Hero Academia via @touyasdoll & @katsupeach

Demon Slayer via @httptamaki & @scummy-simp

Haikyuu via @inarizahki & @kenzumekodma

I actually did this because if I ever had a chance to look back [unless I delete my blog if something bad happens] I'll feel didn't waste those sleepless nights even after my routined study.

[sunflower-kisses]

I'm to tired and lazy to remember how to do a read more from my phone. So if you're not interested in her birth story I suggest you scroll on.

So Tuesday I went to my appointment and we scheduled my induction because of restriction in the placenta. Signed into the hospital at 8:15 but didn't get a room until almost 10. Whatever. Just happy to get the ball rolling. Get changed and set up to find out I was 1cm dilated and having light contractions. Awesome. They told me to try and sleep while they monitored ne and gave me medicine to try and get labor started. But I couldn't sleep. I think I only got a combined totally of about 30 minutes that night because they kept checking on me because my BP was really high. I ended up being diagnosed with hypertension at that point and given some iv medicine to try and get it back down. But that didn't happen.

Wednesday is a bit of a blur. Between BP checks, medication and trying to sleep it was awful. I know they had a lot issues with my veins. They blew 1 trying to put the initial iv port in, blew one in my arm trying to draw blood, so when they said my blood pressure was still insane and needed a continous medication and I needed another iv port I may have had a slight melt down and damn near demand that if they're going to stab me more any way then they might as well do a c section and get this whole thing over with. But I didn't. Contractions got bad around 6:30. I willingly took the gas to help. But after 2 hours I couldn't keep my eyes open, the gas wasn't helping and I had only dilated from a 2cm to 3cm. So I caved and begged for the epidural. But I was so swollen from the pre-e that he had a hard time with it. But thankfully he got it and it helped so much. After that things went kind of quick. From 9ish to 11:45 I went from 5cm to 8.5 and she was dropping quick.

By 12:00 my ob was here, I was fully dilated, and we got started. I pushed for 2 hours. I only had an hour of sleep and no food all day. So at that point they realized I was almost at the point of no return and told me we could try to vacuum her if she's low enough or go c section. We opted to try the vacuum because it seemed like the best course of option. Except I was so exhausted that once he was in the room, I literally mentally blacked out. I have no memory of pushing. Which is why I wanted the epidural because the gas had me keeping my eyes closed and not there and I wanted to be present when she got here. But I definitely have 0 memory of the other doctor setting up or doing anything. But I remember coming to and the room suddenly full of people. I think I had 1 on each thigh,1 on each foot to help fold me in the right position and 1 behind me. I remember saying I had given it everything and I was out and I couldn't push another second more. I don't remember pushing again but I must have because next thing I knew they had her out and putting her on me. I remember David cutting the cord even though he swore he wouldn't. I remember being scared because I knew they said she didn't have a lot of room/ space to stay in and needed out and now that she was I wasn't hearing crying and being terrified that I hadn't pushed enough and she was in too long without air. But I also remember hearing her scream loud and clear. They were concerned about her breathing. It was definitely strange. Apparently at some point she had a cpap on her and some other stuff to help her breathe, I don't remember any of that, but they concluded her breathing was OK, she was just hurting from the vacuum.

After all that all I could really remember/ feel at first was awful. Because I was ready to give up and not push her out. I didn't think I could. I felt awful that she was hurting because I couldn't get her out on my own. And I just felt like a failure even though she was there and in my arms. No one is making me feel that way. Everyone keeps saying I did amazing but even after hearing everyone else's side of what happened I still feel a little bad. But I'm looking past that and just focusing on the fact that she's here. She's here, she's healthy and she's perfect.

[monsterkissed]

For the ask meme: 4, 14, 19, 30, 33, 36, 40. GREEDY, I KNOW

@mistytpednaem

4 was already covered, slightly shortening this monster answer to the relief of everyone.

14. Write and share the first sentence of a new fic. Just that.

Donatella Una thinks exactly three things, sitting in the doctor's office as he tells her very patiently that she is going to die.

19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

Something screeched overhead and rattled Doppio out of his contemplation. He jumped and turned as a shadow passed over him, low and dark. A falcon swooped up and perched itself on the gate he had just passed through, peering down at him with bright eyes. It wore a little hat and a scarf, which even in Doppio’s dubious memory of things seemed unusual.

“Hello,” he said, giving the bird a little wave.

The bird did not respond.

“I like your clothes. You gotta be somebody’s pet, huh? Are you lost?” The bird continued to regard him in silence and Doppio laughed. “I guess you’re not the talking kind of bird. Or maybe just not too good at answering questions.” He mused on its plumage, then nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure I read somewhere that parrots and ravens and stuff are a lot smarter than hawks.”

The bird did not answer, but Doppio became abruptly certain that it’s gaze had become distinctly colder. Birds do not usually have particularly expressive faces, but in this case the look it gave him was highly evocative. It might have said something like, “Once, things like you were only small, fluffy, frightened sorts of creatures, and things like me were cold-blooded dragons that swallowed you in multitudes, and those days are not so far off as you might think.” Doppio was quite sure that the air temperature had dropped a few degrees.

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

Oh this is difficult. I don't usually have things in halfway stages? Either something is a vague idea I haven't thought much about, or it's something I have actually worked on a lot and fully intend to finish. Sometimes things get modified, though? I was going to write something about a certain awful pink individual's mother, but that's now mostly been devoured into a certain awful pink wip's bottomless maw. I did have a part 3 fic I was working one and got far enough to be doing edits on and then just kind of stopped, though honestly if I went back and looked over it I'd probably actually find it not too bad. I also have a persona 1 fic that is Way older that I had forgotten for so long that I legitimately assumed I must have posted it at some point and forgotten, that one might genuinely be lost media bc it's old enough that my writing has probably moved far beyond it.

33. Give your writing a compliment.

I read it for fun. There are some particular lines or dialogue scenes or jokes or turns of phrase that make me think "Damn I wish I could write like that" and that's a very weird feeling to have when you did in fact write like that.

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?

JJBA is very handy bc that answer is I scroll thru my music library until I find something that fits. But I am particularly fond of Being No One, Going Nowhere because it honestly works far better than that kind of lazy method could possibly deserve. And it's from a band rec'd to me by the partners, so it has sentimental value uwu

40. Write a 9-word fic.

On his deathbed Giorno tells her: "Start running, now."

Incredibly cruel to force me to be concise honestly. I'm just shocked I didn't do a joke.

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 - 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.0k

warnings: swearing, fluff if you squint, deep talk with jean

listen to the music masterlist

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Hitch dropped you off at home with a loud "Au revoir!" and sped off in her black car while you waved silently.

You couldn't shake the nervous feeling Hitch had left you with. It was reasonable to feel uneasy after a strange encounter like that, but nevertheless, you plastered on a fake smile when you walked inside and saw Eren sprawled on the couch.

He lifted his head from his phone when he noticed your presence. "Y/n, you're back. What did Hitch want?"

Admittedly, you felt bad about never telling your best friend, but it was too late now.

"Nothing much, she just wanted to catch up. Haven't seen her since college," You lied easily as you plopped down in the chair next to the couch. "What's new with you?"

Eren shrugged and looked at his phone. "Just trying to pass the time. Jean's headed to the airport at eight tonight. Hope you're ready to see your girlfriend." He tilted his head back while laughing.

You smacked his forehead and he recoiled in pain. "Ah! What's your problem?" Eren rubbed his forehead with a hard glare aimed at you.

"I don't have a problem, you're just being freakish."

Eren gawked. "No, I'm not! You're the real freak, being you and whatever."

"Oh, good one." You snorted. "Hey, speaking of, where is Jean, anyways?" You furrowed your eyebrows as you glanced around the house.

"You tell me." Eren repeatedly clicked his tongue while turning his attention back on his phone.

"I'll go find him then," you decided. Eren just grunted in response, too immersed with the JAEGER BOMB fan pages he was scrolling through.

You got up from the comfy chair and starting looking around the house for Jean. After your talk with Hitch, you were feeling even more nervous about Mikasa coming home. You desperately needed to talk to someone, even if it wasn't about Hitch. You just needed a good distraction from tonight.

Jean was nowhere to be found on the first floor, so you trudged upstairs in hopes of finding him. You rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, passing Mikasa's dark room, stopping when you heard a quiet string of curses from the hallway bathroom.

"Jean?" You called out hesitantly. Lightly knocking on the bathroom door, you pressed your ear to the wood in hopes of figuring out what the issue was.

"Come in," came Jean's strained voice from the small room. You peeked your head in the doorframe and took note of his frustrated figure.

"What's going on?"

"Who decided it would be a good idea to grow my hair out?" He made furious hand motions at his head.

You let out a chuckle as he angrily tried to comb his hair back. "You did."

He rolled his eyes. "Right. I think I might have to go back in time and slap myself for that one."

Shrugging, you sat on the counter next to the agitated male and crossed your arms. "Just cut it then."

"It's not as simple as that," he sighed. "I like the way it looks long, Marco likes it too. And the fans, you know. Besides, I can't cut it in a fit of rage. I'll end up like you." He snorted after his snide comment.

"That was one time! Besides, that was high school. We all did stupid things back then." You grimaced at the memory.

"Yeah, you were the stupidest. You chopped off all your hair because of something that aggravated you." He pointed his comb at you in a teasing manner.

"A little thing called feelings were aggravating me. At least I can control myself more now." You pushed the comb back at him and poked his shoulder.

"Speaking of which, I'm surprised you didn't lose your shit when I told you guys Mikasa was coming home." He went back to working on his hair.

"Seriously? I made you all clean the whole house. I could barely get through her room yesterday. Wasn't that enough of a reaction?" Your head fell onto the mirror against your back while you laughed bitterly.

"Yeah, I guess it was. I don't know what I expected honestly. I assume you aren't over her?"

"Definitely not." You sighed. "Because it's been two years since I last had any contact with her, you'd honestly think I would've moved on by now."

Jean set his comb at the side of the counter and faced you. "Did you want to move on?"

You fidgeted and looked away from his hard gaze. "It would be best if I did. I had my chance and I never took it. There was always a part of me that knew she'd come back. I had always hoped that she would, I never got to tell her how I felt, but now that it's actually happening it feels almost unreal." You met Jean's eyes and the corners of his mouth twitched up.

"Are you going to confess when she's back?" he inquired.

Your thoughts circled back to Hitch. Her threats were powerful. She knew what she was doing. Maybe you could confess to Mikasa in secret and she would never know. However, she somehow knew about Mikasa's future arrival, so you should play it safe. Plus, you hadn't seen the Mikasa you knew in two years.

"No, I don't think I will. There's so much to know about her now. She could be a completely different person." You pulled your knees to your chest.

Jean put his hands on your shoulders which made you look back up at him. "Y/n, you've been putting this off far too long. She's proven to us that she's not always going to be here. If there's ever a time to tell her, it would be now."

You stared at each other for a few moments before you pursed your lips and looked away. Jean was right. The perfect chance was right in front of you but just out of your reach. There was always an unspoken obstacle when it came to your feelings for Mikasa. Whether it was another person or yourself blocking the way. "I just need some time to think."

Jean took his hands off your shoulders and shook his head. "You, my friend, are what people call hopeless." He picked up the comb again, about to run it through his hair once more, but sighed and placed it in a drawer. "Fuck it, ponytail it is." You found it funny how often he would end up tying his hair in a low ponytail. His hair was long, but it wasn't close to the length Eren's was. Whenever Jean did his hair like that little tufts would stick out at the top of his neck and loose strands would curl around his ears.

"How long are you growing it?" You asked as you let your legs dangle over the countertop.

"I'll grow it until it becomes seriously unmanageable. It's already getting unruly." Jean softly kicked open the door and gestured to the hallway. "After you."

You hopped off the counter and gladly took his offer, sliding your arm along the balcony railing before folding your arms over the wood and resting your head on them. The hallway was only lit up by the orange light from the sunset beyond the large living room windows above the glass doors.

Jean passed by you swiftly, making cool air hit your neck. He loudly trudged down the wooden stairs and you saw him walk into the living room from your view.

Armin was sitting cross legged in the cushy rocking chair and Eren was still taking up the space of the long couch. Their eyes were trained on an ocean documentary, Armin occasionally commenting on the sea life while Eren nodded at him.

Jean sat on the loveseat under the balcony, now hidden from your view. Armin noticed your content gaze and beckoned for you to join them.

You followed Jean's path to the living room and put your hands on the back of the couch he was sitting on.

"What do you guys want for dinner? It's nearly seven o'clock." You asked the seated boys.

"Can we just get Burger King or something again?" Eren tore his eyes away from the screen to look at you pleadingly.

"Eren, we had that yesterday. I don't want it two nights in a row. That's just gross." Armin frowned at his request.

Jean placed his hands behind his head and on top of your hands. "Eat whatever you like. I have to drive to the airport soon." He patted your hands and stood from the couch.

Once Jean left the room you continued your survey. "We could have spaghetti?" You offered.

"That sounds good. I'll help you." Armin started toward the kitchen with you before tugging on Eren's sleeve. "You come too. You've been sitting on that couch all day, you lazy bum."

Eren groaned like a child being asked to do the dishes. "Fine, if I have to."

The three of you started preparing the meal in the kitchen with Armin getting the noodles out and making the meatballs, you making the sauce, and Eren filling the pot with water then leaving the rest to you and Armin.

Eren sat on a kitchen stool and pulled his phone out. You and Armin both gave him an eye roll before continuing your cooking.

It was around seven-thirty when the food was done. There were a few mishaps along the way since Jean wasn't around to help and neither you or Armin were very skilled in culinary practices. But the final product looked edible and that's all that matters.

Eren and Armin got their servings and sat down on the kitchen island stools while you went to close the curtains in living room and the dining area. You then pulled out a stool next to Armin.

The three of you ate in silence for a while before you spoke up. "Jean should be back soon."

Eren perked his head up. "Really? He said he'd get her at eight. He left an hour ago but we all know he likes to be early so who knows," He said.

"I'd give it maybe twenty minutes. Why? You nervous?" Armin twirled the pasta around their fork.

"Incredibly," you exhaled.

Eren snorted. "As expected from you. But if you're nervous, imagine how Jean feels right now. That should perk you right up." he laughed to himself while imagining Jean waiting for Mikasa, a nervous wreck.

"Are you not nervous?" You asked timidly.

Armin shrugged. "I guess I am. We've known her forever. It'll be just like seeing an old college friend. It'll be refreshing to see her after all this time. I'm more worried about how ready the house is," they explained while folding their arms.

"I'm a little nervous. You think she'll like my hair?" Eren gestured to his bun.

"No, you're ugly." Armin commented. You laughed so hard at Eren's shocked face that you didn't hear the door unlocking behind you.

Armin stopped laughing with you and stared at the door. "Mikasa," He whispered.

"Mikasa?" You questioned and looked back at the door. "Mikasa."

Sure enough, Mikasa was at the door with Jean lurking behind her.

She was wearing a black hoodie and sweatpants with dark green sneakers. Her hair was cut much shorter now. It was slightly fluffed up and messy from the plane ride. She had a few rings decorating her fingers and a small tattoo on her middle finger on her right hand. In that hand, she carried a navy blue suitcase. In the other, gripped the same scarf Eren gave her years before. She held a tired expression but you thought she looked beautiful as ever.

Your eyes widened and you parted your lips to say something but nothing would come out.  Instead, you opted for a hug. You wrapped your arms around her waist, your head just peeking over her shoulder, earning a surprised noise from her. Her arms made their way around your frame as she held you close.

"Mikasa," you could only manage to squeak out her name.

posted: 8/27/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[archived-grimoire]

I need to probably start trying to talk to Apollo more so I might just do like.. prayer type post things here because I'm bad at focusing in my head. You can read or scroll past, it's not too important overall. It's just easier to type out my thoughts.

Thank you Apollo for clearing the skies and for the sun shining bright today when I was at the park. It didn't storm until I went home, even though it was supposed to storm all day. Maybe you had something to do with this. Maybe not. I feel like you might've. So thank you ever so kindly.

Today wasn't perfect, but it's was 80% positive. I found a site that sells affordable stim toys (shared by someone in a discord server I'm in) and I might look into buying a cute mystery case of them. It's a fluffy panda I could use as a pencil case w/ 4-5 stim toys, fidget and chewable. My ADHD has been getting harder to deal with so I hope to eventually get a diagnosis, not necessarily to medicate but for proof I'm not "making it up for attention." I wish to be taken seriously and for my mom to stop calling me lazy or stupid.

Also listened to some (Christian) devotional music that makes me think of you always. While I know they were not written with you in mind, they have good memories with friends tied to them, and they're just so fun and catchy, and I hope you don't mind me using them as a way to connect to my faith in you. You are my Lighthouse. I'm sorry for not being able to devote as much of my time to you, mental health has been taking a toll. You are still my Lighthouse, my guide.

Sorry again for my lacking communication, writing is way easier and I will try to talk to you more in this way.

[jaanwangji]

Hello!!!! My day was fine till i started scrolling through louis' twitter to make an edit for 12dol and i became so emotional. it's just the way he talks to us, about us and how regularly he checks up on us and how constantly he thanks us tells us he's so grateful. I also cried a little when i saw the s*co tweet, ok that's a lie i cried alot!!!but hey they were happy tears so.....no regrets.

Sooo.... My life is just a series of embarrassing events to an extent i can't think of anything. So I'll tell you two things, one is slightly embarrassing (only slightly plzz don't think that's the most embarrassing moment it's just something at the top of my mind) and second a memory i think about and laugh(its cute i swear).

So when i was tenth and we just started trigonometry (it's hard whenyou start yk sm to remember) so i was sitting with two of my friends sitting on either side of me. Sir gave us a question we all started working. But both of my friends were being so annoying. One of them just kept asking me small questions and the other one was saying all the formulas out loud. In short annoying me I was having a hard time concentrating and i like maths so i get competitive. So i cery loudly told them to stfu!! And literally every one heard me. And sir looked at me laughed and said yeah you tell em. My tenth grade self foungld it really embarrassing believe me now I'm just shouting things in class all the time.

The second one was when i was really young. I was the youngest cousin and i was visiting my oldest cousin. So yk he treated me like really nicely. Always used to carry me around in his arms and stuff. So he had a dog a bitch might i say. She used to get soo jealous of the fact that I'm recieving more attention than her so she used to bark at me and stuff. But the funniest thing she used to do was sit really close to my parents. And my dad was some what scared of dogs so that used to be really funny. And little me had a hero syndrome. So i wanted to "save" my dad but i used to be scared of her too i mean i was like soo small she was bigger than me in size😂😂 I got over my fear of her when i was 11 😂😂

And I'm really curious about this poem stuff?!! What were you writing?? Like both of them😂😂 god this one got soo long maybe I'll add a fact later🙈~ ❄

DBDJDJDKKDKKDBDJDJJ who hasn't cried a river while thinking of louis? I sure have more times than I'm willing to admit jkkd its just he is everything lol can't even describe what exactly he means to me yk

bdkdkks i wish i had your teacher lol he sounds dopeee. i hate maths actually, that's the bane of my freaking existence like where tf would i need trigonometry in my future?! pls explain ew

omg i LOVE dogs i want one soooo bad but my mom hates pets and says they're too much work for my lazy ass djjdkd i plan on getting one when i move out for good but we'll see lmao EJKSKKKEKE i imagine that would seriously be very very hilarious oof dogs are amazing nfkddk

I can send u the poems later lol but the one i was writing was kindaaaaa abt sex fjdjkd well not really but it had that sexy undertone yk too many metaphors and what not but still very blatant if you know what to relate it too djdjdk idek why i was writing that i generally don't write about those kinda things but sometimes my mind just goes "boom you gotta write" and im like "but what" and it goes "you gotta" fbdjjbb (also I've no experience of sex lol djdjdk)

the one my teacher read was a sad one i think i wrote it when i was really down or something and it was frankly concerning just how much i wanted to end it all, i don't blame her for being worried about my health coz like that shit is concerning but i think it was more of me pouring out my feelings than yk writing about what i wanted to do but she didn't know obvio fjfjfk

ps: most of my poems are veryyy depressing lol i can't help it

okay do i need to share an embarrassing story now since you shared two? Xbdbndb

[nietopesz]

i hate doing sports 😔😔 like, i gave my all in P.E. classes and I wasn't bad at teamsports (I was actually rly competitive), it's just not my thing; idk if i'm artistic, i like to believe i am, like i mentioned i used to play piano and i took singing lessons for 2 years and if i practiced i'd be good at drawing; i feel like i have potential bit i'm just way too lazy to do anything with/develop it

respect for trying your hardest! im very competitive too and i was very annoying during PE akdj, i wanted everyone to try hard and expressed my displeasure when someone didn’t care 😔 i just think one doesn’t have to be good as long as they try to play, the game can still be fun.. not everyone agrees with this sentiment tho jdsf

and i get you.. i feel this way often as well: wasting my time and my potential by not doing anything, beating myself over it and then continuing to not do anything to change, it’s a cycle. i dont know the receipt to this unfortunately. the self blaming is not helping definitely,so don’t beat yourself up too much, calling yourself lazy and stuff never helps :(

for me i get this strikes of motivation when i truly think about how i do not enjoy the things im wasting time on. or rather the pleasure from it is an illusion, it’s never lasting, not in my memory, not in my feelings and not in my accomplishments, it’s all empty. and how working on things that require effort are the complete opposite, i get satisfaction and actual results. im still struggling with how to keep this mindset  and stop thinking ‘fuck it’ half of the time and keep scrolling through tumblr or watching kpop videos 😔

[the-witty-kitty]

hello! i was scrolling through the a-level history tag on tumblr just in hopes of finding some inspiration to do work - although i still don't have the motivation to do so, is there any tips you could give me? i'm doing a-level history focusing on South Africa and America but am dramatically failing both, with very little knowledge retention. i have coursework coming up that i also have no idea how to accomplish.

((Oh hello low key shook that you’ve come to me because lmao I’ve had no idea what I’m doing throughout my sixth form life so far and high key flattered

Honestly, I relate to you on such a spiritual level because history modules have so much content in them that it’s overwhelming and makes me want to deck myself. Fortunately, the history department of my Sixth Form provide a content guide for us which, that and my exercise book, is the of base my revision.

Notes // Revision Book

Personally, I prefer to have all information for topics and sub-topics in one place which is handwritten out again in another book. These notes would be written into my own words and condensed down massively. Literally the most time-consuming element of my life, I wanted to scratch my eyes out. (Pretty colours kept me sane.) I’d also recommend bolding any key dates, historical characters, facts and figures and any key words that would help you.

Flash Cards // Mindmaps // Timelines

For me, physically writing revision on paper or in mindmaps or flash cards tend to help me to remember which is why I prefer it to re-reading notes or textbooks. (Some science bullshit in active memory or something idk) (Making them look #aesthetic helped to make the task less gruelling and insta worthy.)

Honestly, I would scribble notes and revision down on anything. I re-did mindmaps, notes, timelines, mindmaps, essays, questions, miNDMAPS. The repetitive element is the only thing that helped me to remember; it’s boring but I’d recommend it. Any A3 pads of papers are hella useful as well; I had a shit ton of these mindmaps and timelines up on my walls during March-May and it wasn’t pretty and looked pretty bleak but I guess it helped? After doing my flash cards and mindmaps, I’d re-do scruffy ones but without the use of my previous revision notes, that way I’d be using memory instead of regurgitating textbooks and notes.

Staff // Friends // Family

Exploit your teachers. Exploit the department. I feel pity for them after dealing with me, espesically after I spent the year sucking up to all possible staff members of the history department. A little bit of banter here, a little bit of teasing there and they were always there for me. They must hate me by now. I’d ask for anything and everything. Mark questions, mark essays, re-mark said essays and questions, ask for the mark scheme, sample essays, dates, figures, stupid knowledge that I didn’t need but interested me. Albeit I love history and the periods that we studied (Russian history oioi) but I would have not gotten any of it without some of the staff. A fav of mine - who doesn’t even teach me history this year but taught me a year prior through my GCSEs - sat with me 3 hours before the exam and went through everything on the Cold War and then it came up in my exam. He is a godsend. Use them, I’m sure they’re rad people.

I also babbled so much crap to my family, explaining all of the periods that we studied, all of the policies, strengths and weaknesses and all keys events. They had no idea what I was on about and most probably didn’t even listen but that’s fine I guess forget about me but it helped me to revise through memory not just repeating from my notes. Upcoming to my exams I would take on a teacher-esque role and repeat all of the content back to my friends; it was a two-way system: I’d think on the spot and they’d listen like a normal revision lesson.

(Wow man I’m such a nerd wtf I only just realised. I’m so sorry how long this is frick.)

Documentaries // Youtube

I’m so lazy wow. They help if you’re a lazy piece of shit like me, just actively watch them and even take notes so that you know you’re getting the most out of your time. I’d personally recommend CrashCourse on youtube. It’s got tons of subjects and topics and they’re between 10-15 minutes so it’s a quick burst of info that’s not too overwhelming. (Also I’m such a nerd and laugh at the inside historical jokes wow.)

Questions // Essays // Past Papers

Just do ‘em. My hand would cramp up so bad after doing one of these bad boy essays but gradually I saw improvement.

Make sure you 101% understand what you have to do in the question. Description? Analysis? Explanation? Comparison? The only way you’ll master identifying what to do and the technique is if you do past questions and get feedback. If you teacher doesn’t address faults as for them. (My ego was crushed so many times it hurt man. It hurt.)

Coursework

Unfortunately, I haven’t started my coursework yet - we’re starting straight way and it’s on Martin Luther King so quite the topic considering the modern day cough dickhead trump cough - however, I’m aware that we have to conduct our own research and gather quotes etc.

From past coursework related experiences, again I’d recommend using the heck outta your teachers. If you’ve got the time, do re-draft after re-draft. And if it’s a crap ton of work to do reduce it into sections of analysis of one historical source or on one topic, that way you have more accomplishments when you finish a piece and you’ll receive constant feedback as you go along, in which you can adjust your work accordingly.

If you are required to do research try and mix it up with written sources, accademic articles and historiography. Google Scholar is pretty rad and prevents you from seeing articles or sites that are bias and have bias opinions. I’d also recommend any government offical websites (typically with .gov) if you’re researching contemporary history within the last hundred years or so and need figures such as birth or death rates at the time etc. Your teachers most likely have a ton of physical book resources at their disposal which they’ll allow you to use. Again, that fav teacher of mine allowed me to borrow 5+ books on Russian 20th century over the summer for my Welsh Bac project so I’m sure you’ll find a kind sole like this one somewhere.

Although coursework is agonising, it’s arguably better than exams and allow you to have some control over the outcome so if you keep on top of it you can grab a nice grade before the summer and easily helped raise your overall grade.

(Pretty sure my coursework will be the final death of me because my exam board has a rule on teacher intervention and if too much help is given out marks are taken away which is such horseshit?? So check to see if there are any rules.)

Summary

Reduce school work and textbooks into your own language and book.

Make revision materials from your own notes - flash cards, mindmaps, timelines, poems, acronyms - literally anything just write.

Repeat repeat repeat - try not to turn stir crazy!

Highlight dates, historical figures, numerical figures, facts, and events.

Documentaries and videos are a time and energy saver.

Learn the question styles and technique and hand in essays.

Use any feedback given. Even read the examiner’s report if you can access it.

Coursework - try to get any feedback if possible. Bookmark any sources or websites used as you may have to reference if it’s a written piece.

Google scholar is exceptional at providing articles and therefore you’re not prone to any historical bias when researching your topic.

Government sites are scary but nice for juicy facts and figures.

Break it down into little easy chunks such as dates, policies, location or historical evidence/sources so it’s easier to see and handle.

Coursework will inevitably affect your grade and its more or less the only thing you can control so constantly improve it whenever and you’ll do amazing!

I hope at least one of these things help with your revision as everyone learns and revises differently. Honestly, I’ve only adopted this technique this school year and I’m sure next year I’ll have something new. I won’t shy away from the fact that history is my favourite subject and therefore revision for this area is not too gruelling, but I’m a lil nerd and mini revision freak so pls don’t be too overwhelmed.

I wish you all the best for the upcoming year and your exams! I’m always around if you ever want a chat so hit me up!

- Soph

[the-space-case]

Hello, yes, hi, I recently found your art and account and I love what you do. I'm turning 14 in April and I've asked for a drawing pad, but I have no idea how to use one as of yet. Have you got any tips or anything? Because I've wanted to try digital art for a while and your art makes me want to even more lmao. Thanks! - B.A.

BOI OH BOI DO I GOT SOME TIPS FOR U

(I’m not sure what kind of comp you’re going to be using, so I’ll list for both.)

FIRST: Drawing Programs; the free and the great.

-Firealpaca: Lightweight drawing program. I draw Recovery using this! It’s easy on the RAM if you have a weak comp/are paranoid about yours like I am, it is mainly for basic comic making, and has all the basic brushes you need (pen/pencil/airbrush/symmetry/etc). You can add your own brushes as well but they’re p basic settings. Has basic Animation/Gif making as well using Onion Mode! Layout is a piece of cake. Please note that If you leave it open for a week it’ll crash on you, even if you haven’t anything on it at the moment, and sometimes the brush sensitivity just stops working so you just have to close and then open it again. (Also I have no idea how to update it aside from deleting it completely and just downloading the new version from scratch, so thats a thing.) Mac/Windows

-MedibangPaint: This is basically FireAlpaca But Better. Has tons of screen tones, brush patterns, and tools. I don’t use it much because I’m used to FA’s layout and get confused with the the placement of tools in here, so if you can I highly suggest just going with this first. Also has basic animation/gif making! Has storage for the website as well, and you can upload more preset brushes. It’s v anime. This program has waaay more in terms of basically everything, so it just takes more RAM. NBD, you don’t have to have every brush downloaded from the storage ^u^. Mac/Windows

-Clip Studio Paint: Okay this one isn’t free, it’s a pricey one, HOWEVER once a year they take the price way fuckin down by at least 75%. Sign up for the email list and it’ll let you know when that precious day comes. It’s how I got it @u@, around christmastime? This program is basically MedibangPaint On Steroids. I do all of my digital-yet-tradition-style-painting on here! The brushes all have some neat af settings to play with, you can make your own brushes, has tons of screen tones, pre-made panels, and settings. You can save projects as basically anything you need, is a hardy program that almost never crashes, and It’ll take a nice chunk of space on your comp depending on how much memory you have but hey, its worth it. It’s much more complex layout-wise than the other two here, but you get used to it after playing around and watching tutorials haha.

-Mischief: It’s a 25$ app, has like four brushes and five layers only but is vector-based with an endless canvas. Not really worth having unless you like the vector thing. UP TO YOU. I spent forever with this one doing all that homestuck stuff, so it’s not really bad so much as it is a basic bitch. Mac

-MyPaint: I used this a bunch when I still did digital art on my windows laptop before I upgraded to a Mac. It’s easy on the comp and has plenty of brushes and settings. You can also get brush packages if you don’t feel like you have enough that comes with the program! Also has endless canvas; pretty sure you can just select an area and then export as is. I barely remember the rest but It’s pretty great. Windows/MacPorts(which I hate)

-GIMP: I hate this thing. I cannot figure it out for the life of me. It’s got loads of shit though, can handle layers, has plenty of brushes, and can do basic animation/gifs if you ever figure it out. Windows/mac

I’ve heard good things from paint tool SAI and Krita as well, but have never used them myself.

***You can always pay through the nose/use a student discount for the photoshop series and pay that shit monthly, those fuckers have literally everything, but I am a cheap college kid making minimum wage with a car payment; I’d rather just pay once/not at all.

TABLETS: treat that shit like a newborn babe 24/7

-I have literally only ever owned a Wacom Intuos4. It has lasted me six years, and at least five moves across many miles. I broke one of the cord ports the day I opened it by holding it wrong, have one left, and now treat it like it’s going to die if the cord moves badly. Please be aware that if you break both ports, you better either sodder it back together yourself or upgrade to smth else because it costs about as much as the tablet itself was bought at to be fixed. Good news, though, it comes with at least six extra pen nibs, has programable buttons on the side (that I have never bothered to use) and a scroll bar in case you’re too lazy to use the keyboard (…I don’t really use that either unless I’m just scrolling through tumblr LMFAO).

-I would die for a Cintiq.

HOT TIPS: its useful.

-most of the programs listed use the same keyboard shortcuts. MEMORIZE THEM. It’s pretty easy, since you’ll use em a lot. [cntrl/cmmd+T] lets you resize what you just drew on that layer, and [cntrl/cmmd+z] is undo. I use those the most, for obvious reasons.

-vector-based programs are pretty great because when you resize an image it looks prefect. You can’t do that with a program that isn’t, so I just resize the base roughdraft and draw the lineart again on the layer above so I don’t get weird JPEG quality lines.

-You can use a ruler with your tablet, just slap it on and go, but honestly most programs have settings for that. just use those.

-You can also trace stuff on your tablet, so long as the paper isn’t too thick. I just scan/take a photo and then open it up in the program, though. much easier.

-SAVE CONSTANTLY. Art programs like to crash on you, even when they’re hardy and you have a good comp. make it a habit to quick save your work.

-Use a desk and have good posture. You’ll be able to draw a hell of a lot longer if you do. I personally keep fucking up my knees by sitting on my legs as I work out of habit, and don’t actually have a desk chair. Keep your screen at eye level and at a fair distance to prevent eyestrain and also neck-strain haha

-Chances are you won’t be used to the tablet right away. Most places you buy from say it’ll take a couple of months to get used to how weird it is to draw while not looking at your own hand, so don’t be frustrated If your drawings look a bit off at first.

-if you draw at least one thing every day, by the end of the year you’ll have improved exponentially. I literally made this blog to make myself draw once a day.

-don’t be afraid to check out speedpaints and tutorials. It’s always good to get more familiar with the program you’re using and new techniques previously unconsidered.

-get familiar with clipping layers. They are insanely useful; you clip one layer to the one below and then when you draw it only shows up on the drawing of that layer below. Shit is a godsend if you’re bad at coloring in the lines/lazy. The bucket tool is also really useful, and you can adjust the expansion by pixel so you don’t miss anything between the lines.

-experiment with your brushes, shit be fun af

-warmup your wrists before and after drawing. prevent swollen veins and such. dont want hand pain/numbness, its reaaaaally bad.

—basically if your hands hurt stop for the day.

-PNGS are for internet, JPEGS are for printing/fucking with quality (cough hack homestuck)

-resolution doesn’t have to be much more than 350 dpi if its just going to be on a webpage. Maximize that shit if you’re going to be printing, though. Especially if you put stuff on redbubble.

-DeviantArt has this thing called Sta.sh where you can dump art, keep it in perfect quality and just share it with certain people with a link instead of all of the website. Great for storing commission pieces, its the only reason I have DA in the first place.

-you get a different audience depending on what site you use for posting art, so keep that in mind for the kind of feedback you want.

-after awhile of drawing using a tablet, you may lose patience/forget that in traditional art there isn’t an undo button lmfao It’s cool; you don’t have to choose one over the other or anything.

-Honestly you can work around almost anything. You just invent new ways and techniques for yourself and you’ll do just fine.

Aaaaand that’s all I got for today! Thanks for sticking around