#i have a FULL queue with my standard one post a day

[archonraiden]

anyway i was clearing out my liked posts while also filling up my queue

so if i've reblogged ur post from pre-2020..........ya........

[shhhsecretsideblog]

For the birth denial asks, what about going to a play or performance and you're in labor the whole time, but you're sucking it up because it's your partners birthday and they really wanted to see it, but your water breaks/ you feel the urge to push just after the last intermission ends

Anon!!!! You beautiful person! This is my fav thing ever and I swear I’ve submitted this exact request to other birth fic writers on here before I started doing my own. So so happy to have gotten this ask. Thank you!!!!

Theatre Birth

We had booked the tickets a year ago; it was a limited run at our local theatre, guest starring our favourite actress, and it just happened to coincide with your birthday. We simply had to get tickets to see this play. So I offered to buy the tickets and we could make a celebratory night of it.

But then I got pregnant.

We completely forgot about the show with all the excitement of the pregnancy, until about two weeks beforehand when we received the tickets in the post. It was awfully close to my due date. You offered to cancel the tickets, or see if we could resell them, but we were both still desperately excited to see this limited performance while we could. I assured you I still wanted to go, it was your birthday treat and we would be fine. First babies are never early.

I didn’t tell you about the braxton hicks contractions that plagued me the day before, or the fact I’d lost my mucus plug that morning. You were too excited; it was your birthday, you had a baby on the way and you would be seeing your favourite actress that evening. I couldn’t spoil your joy, especially not for false and practice labour pains. I just had to ride them out and let you enjoy your day. I’d tell you tomorrow.

I’d managed to hide the grimaces of pain throughout the day, but when we got to the theatre the cramps were coming at such regular intervals I was forced to consider this might actually be the real thing. But we were here now and labour took hours before there would be any need to go to the hospital, so I didn’t say anything. You pulled my arm eagerly through the theatre, excitement sparkling in your eyes for this evening’s performance. Holding my heavy bump, I plastered on my best smile and waddled behind you to find the row with our seats.

The old theatre seats were upholstered in a rough red velvet that itched the backs on my legs and the size of the seats were not designed with pregnant people in mind. Needless to say I was far from comfortable. You flicked through the programme and opened your box of sweets, in a world of your own as we waited for the show to start. I shifted in my seat and rubbed the ache in my lower belly, my bump spread over the tops of my legs because the seat was too narrow to allow it to fully sit between my thighs as it usually did. Another contraction struck and I hissed through my teeth but at the same time the music started abruptly so my flinch was left unnoticed.

I’d thought seeing the play would be a great distraction from the aches and twinges, but as the waves of pain crashed with more and more intensity I couldn’t pay attention to what was happening on stage. The seat was agonisingly uncomfortable, I was sweating in my outfit, and I was regretting all my choices that had led me here. After a long hour and a half Act One eventually finished. You helped me up out of the low chair so I could make a quick dash to the toilet, with the baby so big and so active I was surprised I’d lasted the duration of the first act.

There was a long line for ladies, standard in the small theatre, but as I felt the telltale cramping of the next contraction I pulled the pregnancy card and skipped ahead of the queue. I just felt so full; my belly was tight, the baby was low, and there was so much pressure. I panted silently through the contraction as I sat on the toilet and just as it was coming to an end I felt something give and a splash echoed from the porcelain.

Oh my god, that was my waters… I thought to myself.

I sat there, a little in shock, breathing slowly to calm myself. It's okay. I’ll just clean myself up, head back to our seats to tell you, and then we could make a quick and subtle exit before the play resumed. By the time I had exited the bathroom and awkwardly shuffled along the row to get back to our seats the lights in the theatre were already starting to dim - the next Act was beginning. You offered a hand to help me get back into the chair and I don’t know why but I took it and sat back down on the itchy seat. The music started before I could tell you my waters had just broken, with everyone around us back in their assigned seats all sitting in the dark and facing the bright lights of the stage. Now completely stuck in the middle of a row I couldn’t bring myself to tell you - we couldn’t get leave now, it would mean asking about 15 people to move in order to allow my heavy and labouring body to exit the row and attracting all manner of unwanted attention. Rubbing my contracting belly, I took a deep breath. I just had to get through act two and then you and I could head straight for the hospital after the play. Everything would be fine.

~•~

It was not fine.

Without the cushioning of my waters the baby’s head was rammed against my dilating cervix. The contractions were hitting me every few minutes and I was surprised I hadn’t yet cried out from the pain. I tried to do little things to ease the pain, shifting in my seat or rubbing my belly, but the movement seemed to attract the annoyed glances from people around us. If I just stayed still and breathed through the pain, I was sure I could make it through. Occasionally you’d glance at me, checking I was enjoying the show, and I tried my best to smile through my gritted teeth.

But everything changed when the need to push presented itself. I pulled a sudden sharp gasp and my eyes widened with panic. You softly turned to look at me and your face fell at seeing the pained and panicked expression on mine.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” You whispered in my ear.

“Hooo- nothing…” I breathed quietly, ignoring all my body’s cues that I might need to start pushing.

You placed a hand on my bump and felt the solid and tense surface beneath your fingers. “Are you having contractions?”

“I’m fine… hoooo… just- hold my hand.” I said, determined not to make a scene or attract attention.

Grabbing your hand I turned back to the stage, signalling you to do the same. I could do this, it wouldn’t be much longer and then we can leave quietly. Just breathe and don’t push, I told myself.

I managed to make it through half a dozen more contractions, breathing steadily and squeezing your hand whenever they hit. I could see in my peripheral vision your head turning anxiously towards me whenever I gripped your hand tight. The play felt like it was dragging on and on and on. Surely it had to end soon. The next contraction began to seize, I took a deep breath and released it slowly through the pain but the pressure was quickly building to astronomical heights. I was biting my lips to stop myself making any noise but the occasional whimper slipped through. Without control or permission I felt my body suddenly push. My fingers curled around your hand, my nails digging deep into your skin as I beared down.

Your head snapped towards me and saw my face scrunched and my chin on my chest.

“Oh my god are you pushing?!?!” You stuttered.

I could only gulp a breath as my body pushed again. The baby was right there and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. My legs parted instinctively as I slumped in the chair and lifted my knees. I could feel my lips start to open, forced apart as the head pushed its way out. And yet I remained silent, with only the occasional muted grunt sounding from my throat from a baby that was desperate to be born.

“Stop… y-you can’t be pushing. You’re not in labour… are you?” You were frazzled, unsure what to do. The performers were still on stage, the show continuing, unaware of the new life that was soon to enter the world.

I let go of your hand and scrambled to pull the fabric of my dress up. Diving beneath the clothing I put a hand between my thighs and I felt through my underwear the large round shape of the baby’s head poking out. “Fuck….” I gritted under my breath.

Unable to fully speak or explain, I just grabbed your hand and placed it on the partially crowned head. “Baby’s-coming…mnghhhhhh….” I grunted and succumbed to another push, bearing down uncontrollably with a primal need to birth right here right now.

People around us were starting to notice, but I could pay them no mind. The baby slipped further and further out with every push, filling your hand that had remained between my legs. The full crown was reached in a matter of agonising seconds and then with a sudden loud grunt the head popped out.

It was only then I became aware of the silence and the fact the people on stage had halted their performance and were staring.

[snapdragonsimming]

Author's Note and Transcript Under the Cut

(AN: Hello! Thank you for stopping by and checking out my fledgling fundie simblr. I’m by no means new to simblr, but because this blog and story is new, I figure an introduction is due.

So: hey, I’m Talia! I had another fundie simblr a few years back (it’s now inactive for a multitude of reasons), but like a certain someone, I have risen again! My fundie sims obsession was reignited over the summer after I joined a wonderful fundie sims-themed Discord server. Somehow they convinced me to make a new blog, and a few months later, here we are! In the intervening years I continued to lurk, so if you’re an active fundie simblr, I’m probably a fan of your story.

I’ve been playing the de la Cruz family for a while now and they have a special place in my heart- I can’t wait to share them with everyone else! Get ready for lots of God-honoring drama, mildly dubious baby names, and leopard-print modesty undershirts. Note that as the de la Cruzes are fundamentalists and this story is satire-heavy, there will be some viewpoints expressed that I very much disagree with. I’ll trigger tag certain sensitive subjects (e.g. physical violence, miscarriages) as ‘tw [thing]’ but fundie-typical bullshit will go untagged for the sake of my sanity.

Some basic housekeeping stuff to wrap up this far-too-long intro note: I have a queue full of posts ready to go, but I’m a busy student with unpleasant things like homework and AP classes, so I’m still not sure how frequently I’ll post. I’ll do my best to ensure that stays consistent, though, and if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out via my askbox or DMs!)

-

PRAISING HIM!

Every Sunday, Praising Him! features a family dedicated to spreading the Word. Today we meet the de la Cruzes, a San Sequoian family of 16.

When Alejandro and Alina (née Fletcher) de la Cruz married at nineteen, they could not have imagined what would come next! Over the past twenty-six years, the couple has made faith the centerpiece of their lives, and has continued to “Praise Him!” through the ups and downs of busy family life.

Read more about their family below!

-

Alejandro, 45, works as a programmer at United Christian Publishers, and holds a Distinguished Degree in Computer Science from Foxbury Christian University. He began his journey into higher education not at 18, like many students, but at 26, shortly after the birth of his seventhborn, Cecilia! Owing to his unique circumstances, he chose to enroll in a six-year program that enabled him to work full-time as a freelance programmer in addition to his courseload. Though money was tight at times, the Lord provided, and Alejandro welcomed five bundles of joy (including a darling set of twins!) with wife Alina while enrolled at Foxbury. Whew!

Alina, 45, has chosen to fulfill God’s design for women by staying at home with her family. Raised in a devout household, she always knew He was calling her toward marriage and motherhood, and she says the “greatest blessing” in her life was the day she gave birth to her eldest son Gabriel, ten months after her wedding day and just shy of her twentieth birthday. In addition to raising and homeschooling the seven de la Cruz children who have yet to graduate, Alina is active in her church and in Institute for Strong Christian Standards (ISCS) circles, and enjoys spending time with her four (soon to be five!) beautiful grandbabies. A true Proverbs 31 woman if we’ve ever seen one!

You may recognize Gabriel de la Cruz and his lovely wife Esther, 23, from last summer’s print edition of Praising Him! At just 25, Gabriel is a rising star in the Christian legal world, coming to the aid of innocent Simericans simply trying to practice their faith. Ten months ago, they welcomed their first little girl, Abigail, and just last week they announced the upcoming arrival of their second child! Congratulations to them.

-

Althea Brown (née de la Cruz), 24, is following in her mother’s footsteps and proud of it! The young woman, who wed husband John-David, 28, three years ago, resides in Newcrest and is a content stay-at-home-mother of two.

Jasmine Booth (née de la Cruz), 23, known to friends and family as “Jazzy,” is enjoying the bliss of new parenthood alongside her husband of two years, Jason!

The first set of de la Cruz twins, Joshua and Sofia, 21, are both unattached and living at home. Sofia is pursuing a calling in missionary work, and Joshua is hard at work saving money and praying for his future family. “If you’re reading this as a young Christian woman,” Sofia jests, “have your father write into Praising Him! and I’ll set up a date with Josh!”

Caterina de la Cruz, 20, is diligently knitting, crocheting, sewing, embroidering, and cross-stitching her way through her season of singleness! Though she prays every day for her Prince Charming (nonbelievers need not apply!), she assures Praising Him! that she’s quite content to assist her mother in running the busy de la Cruz household in the interim.

Cecilia de la Cruz, 18, the only unmarried de la Cruz not living at home, declined to comment.

The rest of the de la Cruz children, who range in age from 8 to 17, are kept busy with homeschooling, ISCS conferences, music practice, and Bible study.

If you would like to get in touch with the de la Cruz family, click here to send a message!

[perfect-snaccccccc]

i have a message for youu!!

'Hi, I am sending this through my amazing friend who has tumblr, i unfortunately do not, but they're amazing, you should check them out.

Hello !! I just wanted to say thank you so much for being the amazing content creator and writer and person you are. I found you first on Tiktok when I was just getting into the marauders fandom, and you really helped me with making my own opinions, creating headcannons and liking new fics and characters. You've since become my favourite creator on that app and please keep doing what you do, it's so cool and your content is absolutely amazing.

I found your fic after you posted a video about it, and it soon became one of, if not my favourite fic, and I grow excited every day to open up a new chapter, it really makes my day. I love the way you portray characters and genderqueer sirius, and you are such a good writer, even if you don't think you are.

So keep doing what you love, and we'll be here for you, no matter what you're doing or where you are, and remember that you're a human being who needs rest and mental health breaks, never overwork yourself or set unrealistic standards that you wouldn't set for your loved ones. I wish you an amazing day, an amazing year, and an amazing life full of joy<333

-The guy who keeps commenting on your fic lmao'

hey hi hello I got this while I was in the queue for noah Kahan and I SWEAR DOWN I NEARLY CRIED ON THE SPOT I never expected anyone to ever watch my silly little tiktoks and even less so actually read my fic and every time I see your comments it always spurs me on to keep writing even when I get stuck so thank you so so much for sticking around - I really don’t think much of my writing or my content so hearing that it brings other people joy is more than I can comprehend.

SO NEXT CHAPTER IS FOR YOU SIR (?) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHOWING UP IN COMMENTS AND BRIGHTENING MY DAY

[ewebie]

2023: An Author's Review

I've gotten in the habit (over the past 10+ years) of posting an author's review of what I've done on AO3. Since I started my Patreon, I've been posting it here and sharing across Tumblr and Twitter (*cough* I mean X? *cough*). I think it's good to take stock, be honest about what was possible and look and what I want for the next year. So here it is:

2023... I am not sure I'd say "astonishing" but it was a year of surprises (good and bad). It was a busy and chaotic year, but I really have been on a healing journey and both mentally and physically am much better than this time last year.

Hubs and made a temporary (planned for one year) move across the Atlantic in 2022 and came back to Ireland in July 2023. I was working part/full-time with research and grant writing, doing hands on clinical and remote parts. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, though it was much more sedentary than what I'm used to for a day's work. It's been rough coming back... the stress on the systems from the pandemic and (frankly) fucking conservatives ruining anything good has made remaining here untenable. After losing my FIL in the autumn and my own family having ongoing health scares, Hubs and I have decided to go back to the US in 2024... So... it's been a bit of a limbo.

Even with all the chaos of a move and work and... *gestures at everything* I did manage to accomplish a few things.

Summary of writing in 2023:

I set out with the goal of posting The Hayloft on a weekly posting schedule (without break) until complete. I'm SUPER proud of myself for managing that. It's >70k words and 38 chapters (with a 39th for ANs). Between the schedule, having 2 betas (thank you Paia and Sky), responding to comments, and the HTML bits of posting, it consumed a lot of my time (we won't mention that I finished writing it while posting)... But I'm very happy with the final product and with myself for keeping to the schedule.

In April, fresh out of 221B Con, I did a Mystrade Monday based on the prompt "Don't threaten me with a good time." It's a short one-shot, and lyric-based in title (Nod to Panic at the Disco) called Champagne, Cocaine, Gasoline. (because who doesn't want a damp Lestrade?)

So that brings us to May - when things started to get really busy as I prepped to move, and the Mystrade is Family collection, to which I submitted 2 fics. The first was in response to Paia sending me a tiktok: Mistakes Were Made (though not by me), tiktok is at the end of the fic. And I somewhat love Greg's much younger sister, Roxy. I also dipped back into the When You're Fast Asleep series with Think Happy Thoughts.

June and July were mental... packed up my life again, drove the length of the US, moved back to the other side of the Atlantic, moved BACK INTO my flat, repaired the car, resorted my jobs, lost my FIL, went back to the US for the funeral, went back to the US again for Thanksgiving. A lot of stress... not a lot of writing. But I did keep up with Hayloft posting and finished the end of September.

October, I took some of the nonsense in my real-life and the MRC server members' real-lives and made a fic strictly to name-shame people we met and or didn't like. Queue's Next was rather cathartic for that.

In November, I (finally) finished a fic for the RGBA for Lav. She'd asked for something in the Safety First/KKBB universe, and a pet... and we ended up with Blunderbuss. Because murder husbands needed an orange cat. And having dropped back into the Safety First universe, I added H is for Heel and I is for Industry Standards to the work.

Still a bit stuck in Safety First, I wrote a murder husbands Xmas fic with J is for Jingle Bells and put that up mid-December.

On Christmas Eve, I posted a soft short from the When You're Fast Asleep series called All Is Calm. The series really suits calm and warm drabble.

Because I was SO soft of Christmas Eve, I posted a SPICY short in Safety First on Christmas Day called K is for Knife's Edge. And just to round out the year, I dropped a New Year's Eve present with L is for Line of Sight. 

Overall, I published shy of 100k words (though, I only wrote about 70k... Hayloft was mostly written coming into 2023, but all of the posting was this year) with 16k hits and I now have 380 user subscriptions and 7000 bookmarks. It was a solid effort and I've spent the year only writing Mystrade -- though... I've expanded my reading ships (for this I blame BeautifulFiction).

Plan for 2024: Keep myself sane. I have another few chapters for Safety First in the works... there's something so very compelling about the murder husbands. I have 2 WIPs that are very nearly done and I just need to push through the last... 2k or so. So I hope to be putting those up in the first quarter. Be on the look out for The Marshmallow Experiment and Ambien Wife (though, those are both working titles). There’s a few bigger projects that I’ve back-burnered or have been plodding along with, including "the sad one" and "the Pretty Woman one" and some complex, multichapter things. Trello has been excellent this year to keep my bunnies sorted and in some sort of order.

Working titles of a few:

Lesser Things

Used Books

Wrecking Ball

The Time Has Come

Attack the Cheese Block

Of Legwork and Dogs Bodies

Make Yourself

Bad Santa

I hope to keep adding shorts to Safety First and Badges and 'Brellas (I didn't manage any in B&B in 2023... though, Champagne was short enough). I'm not going to aim for monthly new works, I know how much time and energy the move is going to take. I also will try to learn the new features here on Patreon and the collections thing... maybe organise this a bit better.

Many thanks to everyone who has beta'd works for me through the year (this year was mostly Paia -- many times for her many many sins, but also Sky for doing a French language beta on Hayloft, Anne and Stella for the on-demand, and Mousie for the murder feedback). Thank you to the Asylum (nee Jail) - you're all gremlins and I-A-Door-You! Thank you to the MRC for being just... whatever it is you are. And the OGC - because intercontinental chat groups are their own, special nonsense!

I want to thank my patrons (you can find me on patreon here... thank you for thanking me for existing!). Everyone that has left kudos and comments and reblogs and likes. Anyone who has dropped me a message or a thought and has generally enjoyed or encouraged my writing this past year. And those of you who followed Hayloft posting and commented along the way -- amazingly supportive! ILY all!!

[mimistjames]

mimi st. james — an independent, fandomless original character created by kenna. sideblog to @melodyplucked est. dec 1st 2023

the posh princess

links: PROMO | MEMES | STARTER CALL | STUDY

affiliates: @inspotlight (and other blogs), @pcetstcrtured (and other blogs)

psd credits: my own, plus (as of june 15, 2024) wonder bread by pinkinnards

guidelines and important info under the cut.

i'm kenna, i'm 23, and i'm currently residing in the eastern timezone. i have a full time job, and i have responsibilities and commitments outside of rp. please respect that and be patient with replies- i'll always be patient with yours.

memes are the easiest way to start new interactions with me. send them in! i love having multiple things with people, exploring different dynamics and scenarios and such.

i'm not going to write out a banned list a mile long, but- i do have a lot of fcs i will not write with for one reason or another. please respect this.

triggers are tagged "trigger //"

i will not interact with blogs which romanticize certain subjects, or play certain things such as incest/stepcest, non/dub con, etc. you will be blocked. no racism, whitewashing, other erasure has any place here.

if i block you do not come trying to circumvent the block. it's really frustrating. i will not hesitate to turn off anon if i need to. receiving anon hate is really frustrating and that kind of behavior has no place here.

mimi is fandomless, and i'll put her in plenty of fandoms if the opportunity arises. her base is mostly that she's english- born in london, her family's business has another big office in manhattan, so she lived there for four years when she was growing up while her father was getting it up and running and her brother was in high school, before she went back to london. she travels a lot, and could find herself just about anywhere- doing just about anything. she has the kind of money where she doesn't have to do anything. very posh but very sweet.

this blog will run primarily on a queue posting once a day. i am on the eastern timezone presently, and so the posts will come out at 12 noon eastern standard time. there will be exceptions of course, but- for now that's the plan.

mimi is an oc i've had for years technically- i believe since 2020 when i was writing her older brother logan, she was an npc for him. i'm not even confident that mimi was her name back then. she means a lot to me and she's had a lot of development in the past year or so- so i'm excited to do more with her.

[digimon-pokemon-swap-au]

About the Queue and Posting Mechanics

I used the queue to avoid posting too many things at once from drafts, due to the early shadowban. But I feel certain things- such as the evolutions of the Pokemon in Aki's crew and spoiler mons- are better revealed with the chapter they debut in. So when the current queue empties, it will not be refilled to update daily.

Starting tomorrow, there will be a Halloween mini-art-fest. This includes bad guy lore, more human/mon pairs, a collage, and a full art (this last one will be posted midnight on Halloween). Then the queue will run out. I have set a post to announce that it is officially empty.

I have a few drafts containing artwork. When they become relevant in the fic, I'll post the fic chapter. Then, I will queue the art pieces, and they'll be released within a few minutes of each other. This will be the standard going forward.

The consequence of this is that the blog will update slower, having no activity some days. However, it is not dead. I hope to steer this project to its conclusion. At that point, I will post an official goodbye and update the pinned post to indicate that the blog is closed. If something else leads me to end this project, there will be a post about it. If I just haven't posted in a few days, assume writer/artist's block is to blame. And even when this project is done, this sideblog will never be deleted (at least, not by my own hand- let's hope Tumblr doesn't get drunk).

Also, the Bulletrail form poll is almost concluded. You can vote here until about 10-11 PM tomorrow. Once I have results, I'll get to work on Bulletrail, and post the winner + base form as soon as they're done.

[web-novel-polls]

Tips for New Tournament Makers

Don't feel pressured to follow these to a T. You can do whatever you want forever, but I've been making polls for over a year and having a clear system and outline has really helped me.

Stages of a Tournament

Have a tournament idea & figure out the qualifications for contestants

Submissions - collect submissions for who or what will compete in the tournament. Google Forms are KING for this since you can edit questions if you forget something. Tip: if you have a propaganda question, make it a Long Form response instead of Short Answer.

Forming & Announcing a Bracket - To make the brackets themselves, I recommend BracketHQ and Challonge.com for standard brackets and Canva's whiteboard for non-standard brackets. Challonge has more features and is better for larger brackets you want to share with others. Bracket HQ is easier to understand/start out and to screenshot & edit the image if there's a tie. Canva has the most flexibility since you can straight up design the bracket entirely.

Releasing Polls - the Schedule feature is your friend. Space out individual polls, even if you're releasing a batch; the queue WILL post them out-of-order any chance it gets. I've heard "no less than 5 minutes between polls" as a rule of thumb, but whatever time frame works for you is fine.

Announcing Results

(You may want to decide what type of and big of a bracket you want before submissions since Double Elimination and large brackets take much longer and are harder to organize than a Round Robin or small Single Elimination tournament)

Organization

Figure out the bracket beforehand & write down an outline for when polls will come out. If running more than one tournament, I highly recommend using a google sheet for organization.

My first sheet shows everything "upcoming" in the queue, and once it's been posted, I move it to another sheet. I usually like to mark reminders with (R) to make sure I don't have two polls posting at the same time, and the "posted" column helps make a habit of checking the sheet. To freeze rows/columns, select the letter or number marking it > right click > view more row actions > freeze up to... Checkboxes are under "Insert."

Use a tag or tagging system, if possible. It makes finding polls and whatnot so much easier, especially if you put tag links in your pinned post or somewhere easily accessible.

Ex: #webnovel quotes tournament -> web-novel-polls.tumblr.com/tagged/webnovel%20quotes%20tournament

I like using masterposts (linked to my pinned post) & updating them with the bracket/schedule at least a few days before the polls are scheduled to start. It helps to have everything in one place & easily accessible.

Have a google doc with all the submissions and/or bracket prepared. It's helpful to have a section you can just copy & paste into Tumblr.

I have an outline for the polls of each round that's customized for what I need. The tags can be just copy-pasted starting with the first tag.

For larger brackets, I sometimes need separate docs for the full character list, the bracket, and whatever else, but putting the amount of submissions recorded at the top means I can check the google form responses without having to open 2 million google docs. Since the amount of responses on the Google form matches the submissions in the google doc preview, I don't have to open it, which saves more time than you'd think.

Interaction

Not everyone is online all the time, so reblog polls, submissions, whatever you want people to interact with! For polls, I reblog 24 hours before the poll is scheduled to end. For submissions, I cycle through what's open by reblogging whenever I have a relatively empty day. Some people also reblog 12 hours after a poll has begun to reach people in other time zones.

@ tournament-announcer - they(?) reblog submissions before a tournament starts (or for ongoing themed polls like "do you know this character?"); there might also be other themed blogs that'll reblog polls/submissions if you @ them or send an ask

Tumblr allegedly only uses the first 5 tags on a post (which I do NOT believe), so I usually tag the characters/fandom first, and then my organizational tags and tags to block.

Self Care

Remember: this is for fun! (Most Important Reminder; everything comes from this)

You make the rules. If you forget a poll or make a mistake, you can just change the schedule or whatever you need.

You'll sometimes get people who aren't happy with seeding, time frames, the amount of propaganda, etc. They are not entitled to anything. If you don't want to do something, don't.

HAVE FUN! If it no longer brings you joy, yeet it.

[mamukeeto]

New blog post!

New blog post is up! This is a long one, but it goes into detail about what's been going on for me personally and for LMC over the past ~3 months + details plans for the next 4-6 months. Give it a read here or check it out in full under the break below!

Happy belated new year! + updates

It’s been about 3 months since my last blog post, so I figure it’s past time for an update! First off; happy new year! We made it to 2024! I think 2023 was pretty rough for a lot of people, myself included, so we should all feel proud that we made it another year. Existing is exhausting, and every new day is an adventure. I definitely struggled a lot in 2023, and want to go over some of that in this post. With that said, let’s get into the nitty gritty of things…

First up, as of tomorrow I’m attending classes again. It was supposed to be today, but class was cancelled due to inclement weather. My schedule will be completely full Mondays and Wednesdays (8:30am-6:30pm CST), so if you reach out on those two days please allow some extra time for a response. Tuesdays I’ll also be in class, but I only have two on that day as opposed to three on MW, so I’ll have a little bit more leeway that day (I expect I’ll be occupied 10:30am-4:30pm CST). My planned schedule is Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday as class days (with Tuesday evening open for commission work as necessary) and Thursday, Friday, and Saturday as work days, with ideally Sunday as an off/relaxation day but I’ll be using it to keep up on commissions and emails if I need to. I understand that college is a big commitment while I work on clearing out my queue, but I truly feel that it’s the best option to move forward and continue to grow as well as plan out a career and the next 5-10 years of my adult life. Emails/updates/messages will be responded to daily on Thursdays through Saturdays and I’ll do my absolute best to have quick turnaround times on Sundays through Wednesdays, but can’t guarantee it. Regardless, I’m instating a new personal policy of replying to all emails within 24 hours. Communication is still something I’m struggling with and working on, but I am very much dedicated to improving and holding myself to a high standard of customer service. I’ll also be updating my email signature with a few more tidbits of info to reflect as such :) Additionally, anyone awaiting a response to their email or a progress update will be receiving one this week.

Next up, some personal updates! I had a bit of a bumpy ride closing out 2023 due to aging out of my parents’ insurance and having to get my Very Own Insurance Plan. I was rationing my meds until the 1st because I couldn’t afford to pay $200+ out of pocket for them, which resulted in a brief period of poor communication and general sluggishness/feeling like a zombie (those of you with ADHD probably know exactly what I mean). As of January 5th, I’m back on all my meds for good and don’t foresee any issues occurring with getting them, as they’re free with my insurance plan and I live in an area that doesn’t seem to be affected by shortages, thank god. I was also able to pass my first semester of college with a 4.0, which I am INCREDIBLY proud of, and one of my long-term goals this year is to get healthier and more physically active as well as be more open and transparent with myself and my work/the costume making process. This year I’m also aiming to claw my way out of the messy financial pit I ended up in, thanks in part to the Financial Audit podcast by Caleb Hammer. I highly encourage watching it if you’re financially illiterate, temporarily in a bad spot, or you’re just looking for something to listen to. I didn’t receive much of a financial education in my impressionable years and thus ended up in a rather poor spot, and I very much want to fix that and start building toward my future. This podcast and accompanying resources is helping me a TON in that regard. This brings me to my next topic, which is commission and business updates.

The first thing I want to address is ongoing refunds for those whose commissions were cancelled or delayed; ALL refunds will be returned no later than February 8th. I’ve been refunding people as quickly as I can over the past few months with income from my shop and finished commissions, and I’m pleased to announce that the last refunds should be sent out by that date and I do not anticipate any delays. Picking up the pieces of my struggles over the summer has been an incredibly difficult process for me personally, as it’s been incredibly embarrassing to let people down and to feel like a failure as a business owner, but please know that I am dedicated to making things right with each and every person affected, no matter what “making things right” may look like. I started my business in 2019 with no prior experience managing a business, and that was my first mistake I think, and I feel so incredibly sorry to anyone whose cosplay plans/convention plans/finances I’ve negatively affected due to my lack of experience and lack of business etiquette. I was very much “taking things as they come” and struggled very hard with time management and reasonable expectations from myself, which I am still working on, and looking back on it now I think I was destined for failure and lucky to have made it as far as I did before it became a problem. I’ve been doing a LOT of self-reflection as well as attending bimonthly therapy sessions while working through this process and while I think I’ll be able to manage taking on one or two commissions at a time (read as: per semester) after my queue is emptied, I don’t feel comfortable opening commissions on a larger scale for the foreseeable future. My current plan is to finish my 2-year fashion degree and then go to my current college for a 2-year business degree, then transfer to a university to major in fashion and minor in business. I love being able to create things for people, but it’s been made quite clear that I need a real education in business before I can do things at the scale I was trying to do them. None of the mistakes I’ve made or things I’ve done have been out of malice, but I understand that I’ve had a negative effect on people regardless and I want to be able to rectify those effects and make sure nothing like them ever happens again. And to be clear, for anyone who isn’t aware: I’ve missed deadlines for multiple clients due to poor communication and poor time management, as well as struggled to refund cancelled or overdue commissions due to a fragile financial situation (part of which is compounded by not being able to properly manage my time and get commissions finished quicker). If you’ve heard or seen someone recommending to not work with me, this is what they are referring to, and I’m incredibly ashamed of it. The issue has still been ongoing, albeit on a lesser scale, while I work on cleaning up the mess and that’s the primary reason I’ve had commissions closed since August. I don’t expect the people I’ve affected to forgive me, but I do ask that anyone watching or reading to please allow me the chance to prove that I’m working on changing and becoming the business owner I should have been from the very beginning. If anyone would like to reach out to discuss these issues, be you a past client, current client, or someone who wasn’t personally involved, I am happy to discuss anything and everything in more detail through email (which can be found via my Contact page).

On a lighter note, let’s briefly talk shop updates. I’m taking a backseat on artist alleys this year to focus on commissions, with the exception of applying for Naka-Kon as it’s within 15 minutes of my house and thus a very small financial and time commitment. I’m also letting new products take a backseat for the same reason; new items will be fairly sparse until my queue is emptied as I want to focus my money and time on commissions until everything is concluded. I should have been doing this last year as well, but the time management was again an issue here; I thought I could handle having my hands in multiple pots and justified it by “diversifying my income” in order to bring in more money to issue refunds faster. I will still be running my shop, as it brings in enough money to be worth the small amount of time I do spend filling orders, but don’t expect any new items for at least the next 4-6 months.

To conclude this post, I want to again apologize. I feel very guilty and ashamed for letting things get as bad as they did, and I’m deeply sorry to anyone impacted. I hope that by the time I make my next blog post, I’ll have more positive updates to share regarding this process and can start showing the results of my first big steps toward marked improvement. Thank you to anyone who has read this far and to anyone who has ever commissioned or supported me. I want to make you all proud going forward.

[romantic-flora]

TIME FOR ANOTHER LONG ONE

Buckle up ladies, gaydies, & theydies, cause Flora's a LITTLE MAD today.

You may have seen my post about River recently. Well I still haven't heard from her but this isn't a tea update I just have A LOT OF FEELINGS about this situation.

So sit down, shut up, and open your ears to one autistic motherfucker raging about social queues.

Like I said before my date with River was probably the best first date I've ever been on. No actually is FOR SURE was. The conversation and flirting had so much chemistry - we couldn't wait two hours to kiss, we had to get it out of the way at the table. She was just the right amount of forward to be exciting but not overwhelming. The dom/sub dynamic flipped back and forth too many times to count and both of us loved being on both sides. And we're not even talking abut the sex yet (it was fantastic too). We share so many interests and she's a more-than-casual enjoyer of my *special interests* so it didn't feel awkward devoting a huge part of our conversation to them.

She read me so thoroughly and clearly - even with Luna, sometimes I feel like they can't quite grapple the way that I think (head full v head empty), but River consistently helped me finish thoughts that I was having trouble articulating and explicitly enjoyed it. There's a deep satisfaction to be found in being able to reach the same conclusion as someone without having to say all the words - for those of us who have brains that move way faster than our bodies. On top of which, River has been in a relationship with a transgirl before, so I didn't have to worry about answering questions or doing simple education.

She's brilliant. I say that in no attempt to hyperbolize. As someone who begrudgingly accepts the title of genius autism (I got both Smart Girl & Obsessed With Dumb Shit Girl versions in roughly equal measure hahaHAHA FUCK) I find it very difficult to connect with people to don't match me intellectually. This isn't a flex, it's alienating. I just can't be engaged in a conversation where I'm never being surprised or interested by the other person's thought process. Believe me, if I could go back to the start and reroll my stats, I would fucking bottom out intelligence. River, as I've probably made clear already, can more than keep up. I love playing word games over text, in person, as flirting etc - so to sit down with someone who has a degree in linguistics??? Come on. The whole experience was just so deeply refreshing and entertaining.

And I THOUGHT I was talking to someone super emotionally mature and interested in getting ahead of possible hurdles. We had already been discussing our second date before going on our first. She brought up dating goals, and I said I was looking for some emotional and intellectual fulfillment. She said she'd been out of a long term relationship for 6 months and wasn't looking for anything serious right now... but... that we had clicked way more than she was expecting to with anyone and she could see it going somewhere. I said we should keep things chill for now then & have another conversation about it after a few more dates. Seems good right? Being upfront about expectations and comfortable discussing feelings???

WELL I GUESS NOT. After a few more drinks we went to my place and had sex. She stuck around for a few hours of chat & cuddling after. I paid for her uber home - she had a job interview the next morning. She sent me a few texts on the way, and a cute goodnight message when she got home.

I simply cannot put into words how excited I was to have someone I didn't have to compromise on any of my standards for. AND she's super into me in return??? Too good to be true.

It's been 4 days and I haven't heard from her. I'm not blocked. She read my first couple messages (I've sent...3? & a post). She's pretty offline in general, she has ADHD, and I knew she had plans this week.

Luna says to give an ADHDer a week and to not assume anything until then. I'm struggling with that because for the three days prior to our date, our communication was very consistent. Easily hundreds of messages per day. And I knoooowwwww that's because I was top of mind.

Bottom line I have no idea what's going on, & everyone is telling me to be patient. It's a slow sinking feeling though, as with every hour a bit more hope slips away. I'm really hoping we'll bump into each other at an event tomorrow & I can get a better picture.

______________________________________________________________

Time to talk about my feelings. Gross, I know.

I cannot help but feel frustrated. Lack of resolution to situations drives my anxiety I N S A N E. I cannot help but assume the worst. The timing is very conspicuous. I'm used to Luna going dark for a few days at a time when they get busy, but RIGHT AFTER our first date doesn't feel neutral, it feels intentional.

The way I see it, there are two things that could be happening, if it's not forgetfulness.

River lied to me. About all of this special/different shit, so that she could fuck me. I would have said no to a hookup - the only reason I wanted to have sex was because I thought we were going to keep seeing each other. I might be a slut, but I'm a slut with desires. We had originally said we weren't going to hookup on our first date... Some would say if you're having that conversation ahead of time, you're definitely going to. We were both just so excited and into it. I don't think River is the kind of person to do this, but ALSO she's a stranger I met on the internet a week ago, she could be lying about anything. This option makes me quite upset, but it's easier to process because the rational outcome is anger. Anger doesn't make me anxious, I can handle it. So I'm having a couple days for feral girl rage while I wait out Luna's recommended waiting period.

It was too much too soon & she got scared. That I can absolutely understand - I would want to talk and settle that in a mature way that keeps us talking. If she just got too excited and the sex was more than she wanted in retrospect I totally get it. But WHY aren't you talking to me? Is this how allistic people deal with discomfort? Just walk away from it? From a really really good thing? That's BAFFLING I simply cannot comprehend the thought process. I've ghosted people before, but only people that I've had like one mediocre conversation with, I could NEVER do it to someone I actually liked. And if I had FEELINGS for that person... even if you're not comfortable pursuing them right now, why would you throw away that option??? I am filled with such tumult at the thought that she could HAVE feelings and be CHOOSING to avoid me. That's so terribly anxiety inducing. I just want things between us to be stable and comfortable, we can take a step back, we don't have to have sex until you're ready, we don't even have to see each other that much, just TALK TO ME.

River. We could be so fucking good together. Now or whenever you're ready. I'll wait if you want me to. Just don't leave me in the dark. I think you were being honest when you told me you had an amazing time. I don't want to believe you're a liar. I'm going to pretend to be mad so that I'm not anxious, but whether it's good for me or not, the second you text me, I'm going to be so relieved and understanding of whatever you say.

Unless it's something I have failed to consider. This is a tangent, but I'm so sick of having to be the Bigger Person. I get upset about things. I deserve apologies. As much as anyone else. Fucking annoying how being mature makes you kind of powerless in relationship dynamics. Maybe I need to be less desperate and set some better boundaries. In fact I know that's true. But I also have a larger underlying issue, one that River articulated to me more clearly than I had thought about it. I like to talk to people close to me about my achievements, small and large, I like praise and I like to show off a little bit - my ego comes from the fact that I don't get the praise I need from the people I want. And I'm not sure how to solve that problem without filling my inner circle with people who appreciate me more. If you have any tips on how to not desire praise, let me know I guess? And none of this "you only need your own praise" stuff - I already think I'm the greatest <3

Well no poetic ending to this one. I'll update after the event tomorrow on whether River shows her (beautiful) face.

Smitten & hopeful,

Flora

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 172

Did not mean to prank everyone a couple days ago... I actually had time to queue the chapter and accidentally hit “Post”. I deleted it immediately, so here’s hoping it didn’t spoiled *facepalm*.

Let’s try this again... @tezzrahlah, I did not realize you were in Indonesia!  I hope you and your family are doing well and staying safe.

Huge thanks to @baelpenrose and @quantumizedinsanity for awesome beta work and asking the tough questions and poking the big holes. It’s always a huge help.

Reader shout outs this week go to @breathingintheash, it hurt me, too, I promise. And to @wk-a-a-jaeger, I hope you’re enjoying the story so far!

Hnnghhh. My head was pounding when I woke up. I tried to open my eyes, but immediately slammed them shut again. Maverick must have left the light on again, I thought groggily.

Now my head just hurt even worse.  When I tried to reach up to shield my eyes, my arms were so heavy I couldn’t even lift them.  I couldn’t even roll over, really - everything felt heavy and sore.

“Mav?” I rasped, voice hoarse from what felt like snoring all night. Was I sick? I didn’t remember being sick, but I was sore all over and freezing, like I had the flu.

“I’m right here. So’s Conor.” His voice was off to my left, and I tried to reach for him before remembering my arms weren’t cooperating.

“Can you turn off the light?” Clearing my throat did nothing to make it feel better.  A straw did touch my mouth, however, and I drank as much water as I could before it was pulled away. “Thank you… It’s so bright… Have I been sick?”

“You are in the medbay, yes,” Conor’s voice answered as the light seemed to dim just past my eyelids.

Carefully, I cracked one eye open to test the light before prying both of them far enough that I could see.  Three blurry faces stared down at me: the two familiar blurs of Conor and Maverick, and a third one that startled me. “Who else is here?” I demanded.  I think I demanded it - my voice still sounded a million miles away.

“It’s Simon,” the attached voice answered. “You’re in the medbay, and you have been for about three days.”

I opened my mouth to demand and explanation, but something vaguely hand-shaped filled my vision.

“Yes, three days, don’t interrupt,” Simon continued. “You’ve spoken more than enough, I think.” I must have looked confused, because the hand disappeared but the voice did not. “Do you remember why you’re here, Sophia?”

I paused to make sure he was done before I answered. “I don’t even remember coming here,” I confessed.

A warm hand wrapped around mine, and the calluses covering the palm told me it was Conor. “Love, you… You had a mental break, we think.”

“Did I hurt anyone?” Panic rushed through me as I tried to sit up and remember what happened at the same time. The fact that I couldn’t pull my feet underneath me, much less use my arms to push myself up, did absolutely nothing to help.

Conor rubbed one thumb over the back of my hand while Maverick moved around him to gently press me back into a prone position. “You’re restrained, Soph,” Maverick told me. “You attacked Noah.”

“I did wha - “ Horror silenced me when the memories flooded past the last fog of sedative. Oh god, I thought.  Every moment was sharp as glass in my mind: walking down the corridor, trying to distract them from realizing what I was trying to find out…

Shoving them into an empty room just off the corridor…

So. Much. Screaming.  No wonder my throat hurt.  My heart hurt almost as much, now that I could remember what I had done.

“Eyeah,” Simon bit off. “The restraints are a standard precaution for a mental break. The sonic dampener around you… not quite as much, but it’s for Miys’ sake.”

My left wrist moved about half an inch before it wouldn’t lift any further. “I don’t remember Tyche being restrained when she screamed at Miys,” I murmured.

“She, ah… She was screaming at me and at Arantxa,” Simon clarified sheepishly. “And she was in full control of herself in the process.  Even so, she was restrained for her own safety for a while before you woke up after Arantxa attacked you.”

“You just woke up after she recovered,” Conor confirmed hoarsely.

I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t want to think about it either, honestly.

“I’m here…” Simon paused and cleared his throat. “I’m here on behalf of Miys to ask some questions.  Understandably, they did not want to send an avatar and instead sent me as a representative.”

“Am…How much trouble am I in?” I asked, confused. I mean, I screamed at Noah. Lots of people on the Ark scream, for good reasons and bad ones. Hell, every Food Festival had absurdly loud music.

“That’s why I’m here,” he assured me. “Both to represent Miys, and to provide impartial perspective.  It’s essential that you think back before you answer the questions that I am about to ask you. Bear in mind that recordings of your vitals at the time can be retrieved to help determine if you are telling the truth or not, is that understood?”

“Do I need an attorney? I feel like I should have an attorney present…” Would Xiomara even assist me? She was on the Council, she probably needed to maintain some kind of neutrality - 

“Mona Karim is monitoring our session, and has volunteered to act as your advising counsel.”

Mona’s a lawyer? Anxiety dipped with this revelation; she and I were only passing acquaintances, but I knew her to be fair and remembered the scene in the mess hall with Rachel.  She had soothed the panicking woman during what looked to be a PTSD episode brought on by the systems stress test.  While it did not speak to her abilities as a lawyer, it said volumes about who she was as a person.

I must have zoned out, because Simon spoke again. “Sophia, are you ready?”

“I - I think so.” My voice was shaking, and I had an iron hold on what felt like Conor’s hand, while Maverick gently squeezed my shoulder.

To his credit, Simon didn’t look any better. With a deep breath and a couple nods to himself, he started reading off of a script, not even trying to hide it. “These questions will be focused around the attack by Human Councilor Sophia Reid, hereafter referred to as ‘you’ against Hujylsogox hive Miys pod gamma root seven, hereafter referred to as ‘Noah’. The attack itself, on request of legal counsel and with agreement of Hujylsogox hive Miys, will be referred to as ‘the incident’. These questions are only for the purposes of gathering information and do not constitute a confession of guilt or argument of innocence. Please confirm that you understand.”

“I understand.” Simple enough: I was ‘you’, Noah was ‘Noah’, what happened was ‘the incident’.

With one more deep breath, Simon began. “Were you aware at the time of the incident that your actions were causing harm?”

“Only vaguely,” I admitted. “I was aware that I was causing Noah discomfort, but in the same way that loud noises and screaming would cause a human discomfort. I did not know that I was causing any sort of physical damage if such occurred.”

“Did you continue your actions with the intent of causing harm?”

“No, not directly. Like I said, I wasn’t even aware that I was causing anything beyond discomfort, so I wasn’t able to even conceive of the idea of intentionally causing harm with my actions.”

“What were your intentions at the time of the incident?”

Arthur and Charly are going to wring my neck…. “I wanted a direct, clear answer regarding why Miys has been treating us differently since we got to this part of the Galaxy,” I confessed, frustrated.  “I tried asking several times, but they would not give a clear answer or even tell me they weren’t allowed to answer me.  I was frustrated and angry, especially because people got hurt - Conor and Maverick, Xiomara, Charly got hurt - as a result of the change in Miys’ behavior.“ I had to calm myself before continuing. “If Noah had even so much as told me why they weren’t allowed to answer my question, I would have accepted that as a definitive answer, and dropped it.”

“You passed several avatars immediately prior to the incident and seemed to target the specific one defined by humans as ‘Noah’. Why did you choose that particular avatar?”

This one honestly should have been obvious. My fondness for Noah was not new information. “They are the one I am most familiar and comfortable with, since that is the first avatar I saw when I woke up on the Ark. My hope was that, through that feeling of familiarity, I would be able to get some sort of definitive answer.” I wanted to add ‘not like it worked’ on the end of that statement, but it felt even more unnecessary than the question itself had been.

“Did you take any direct action that would prohibit the avatar from removing themselves from the situation at the time of the incident?”

A snort of derision erupted from me before I could stop myself, but I forced myself to think back to what happened, to really focus on my actions at the time. Finally, I was confident in my answer. “No. Noah is twice my size, at least, and demonstrably capable of restraining me without harm. Noah could have left the situation at any time. In fact, other than when I ‘pushed’ Noah into the room,” I made air quotes to emphasize that even that had required some level of cooperation from Noah, “I didn’t touch them.”

“To the best of your recollection, what devices were you using at the time of the incident?”

“None? What?” Devices? “None. The translator implant, that was it. Maybe the door? But it wasn’t locked or anything, I was just standing in front of it.”

Simon nodded with relief at my answer, then gave me a pointed look. “Were there any items on your person at the time that could have been used to harm Noah, even if you did not use them?”

“No,” I ventured slowly, narrowing my eyes at him but playing along. “I keep my kitchen knives in my kitchen and my other knives locked away in the gymnasium. I don’t carry either around the ship, as a safety precaution. Since I had planned to meet with Noah that day, I was careful not to eat any spicy food that morning, because I’ve accidentally caused some surface irritation by speaking with Noah too soon after eating in the past. Even when I’ve been angry with Miys recently, I still take care to warn them if I will be handling any substances that can cause a reaction with their skin, and where I will be, so they can avoid the area.”

It was only as I finished my statement that I realized why Simon had given me that look. He was making sure that I established the lengths I go to in order to avoid accidentally harming Noah, to emphasize the harm I - or any human on the Ark - could have caused by accident, without any malicious intent. And that I had taken great pains to avoid even that.

“Questioning concluded,” he pronounced carefully, as though completing some requirement of the session. Immediately, stress dropped from his shoulders and his entire posture relaxed into an impossibly-balanced slouch. “So, Sophia, any questions?”

“I think you’ve asked plenty,” I grumbled before immediately apologizing. “I know you don’t want to do this, Simon. You didn’t deserve me being snarky.”

“There aren’t exactly a lot of options on the Ark for intermediaries between humans and Miys,” he waved me off as he fell into the chair on my other side from Conor and Maverick. “I’m kind of the only option, aside from you being confined to quarters until the Eko-mari arrive and letting them handle it.  Which puts us back at square one, since you - the Council, I mean - were already trying to figure out what to do with them.”

“And I only added to the problems,” I sighed, dropping back on to the berth. At some point, the top portion had been raised into a reclining position, so I was at least able to still look at everyone. “Let’s get the down and dirty over with: How much trouble am I in?”

“From the Miys’ end? Not much, honestly.” When my eyes flew wide, he shrugged again. “Hujylsogox are largely used for crises and refugee transport, so this kind of thing happens sometimes. You’re basically going to be grounded, from their end.  Baseline rations for food and water, including rationed bathing water. Limited access to anything above baseline amenities, access to weapons will be restricted, all that stuff.”

“I feel like a puppy who peed on the carpet.”

“On the upside, the guys won’t be punished along with you. The restrictions only apply to you, although they are eligible for censorship if they help you violate the terms of your - probation, for lack of a better term.”

“No sneaking me treats, got it.” I gave both of them a serious stare. The last thing I needed was Maverick being put on basic nutrient rations after we’d spent several years of therapy trying to get his relationship with food on a healthier footing. “What about on the human end?”

“Tee Bee Dee,” he admitted. “There haven’t been many incidents on the Ark of person-on-person violence that required Council intervention.  Usually, the parties have pretty much resolved things themselves, with the Council sometimes needing to step in to resolve the underlying issue - arguments over when it’s appropriate to cook certain foods if your neighbor is trying to sleep, where you should practice your religious observances at the top of your lungs when people are working, that sort of thing.”

“Fun…”

“I can tell you that it seems like the Council is leaning toward the probation sentence, since Miys is satisfied with that. Maybe some additional restrictions.  They’re still deciding what to do about your Council seat, though.”

I tried to stifle the hope that bloomed in my heart. “I could - “

“You can’t resign,” Simon interrupted. “Xiomara, Huynh, and Pranav saw that coming from a mile away and made the point to argue - successfully - that voluntary resignation from the Council wouldn’t be a punishment for you.  That’s kind of what makes the whole situation so complicated: keeping you on the Council would potentially set a bad precedent by allowing you to keep your status, but removing you would practically be rewarding your behavior.”

Oops. Not only had I been headed off at the pass on that one, apparently I was making an even bigger mess. “Suggestion withdrawn.”

Simon smiled and patted my shoulder. “They’ll think of something suitable. You probably won’t like it, but that’s kind of the point. And Mona’s clever - she’ll definitely help them figure it out.”

“And until then?” I asked hopefully. Being restrained to a medical berth was the exact opposite of fun.

“You’ll stay here while they deliberate.” Well, there went all the hopes and dreams of the little children… “Hannah and Parvati are sharing interim Councilor duties while everything is being decided.  It shouldn’t take too long, however.  I know they want everything decided before the Eko-mari fleet arrives.”

I did the best mental calculation I could. “Ten days?”

“Fifteen,” Maverick corrected gently. “The fleet has been delayed for rendezvous, but even without that, we had thirteen days.”

Still, fifteen days did not feel like enough time to figure out what to do with the pirates. I had picked the worst time to sideline myself from the Council, but I still had one hope: our designated negotiator for working with the pirates.

If anyone could launch a successful charm offensive against a ship full of aliens, it was Charly.

<< Prev  Masterlist  Next >>

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 15

WC: 1082

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of depressed mood

🧠

The dreams of the doctor don’t stop even after he dismisses you, but they do change. Now the dreams take on a completely different tone. They are full of confusion and fear and loss. You’ll be in some mundane place when suddenly you see him in the distance, that steely gaze on you as he examines you from afar. It feels as though you are his prey, although he never pounces. Instead, the second you try to get close to him he turns to leave, or he vanishes in thin air, as though he never existed. You get so close but you can never reach him.

In the waking hours you do your best to ignore your emotions in favor of finding another job. You know that if you allow yourself to dwell you might shut down completely at how suddenly life went in the gutter, losing both your source of income and the man you’d grown so attached to. More than two weeks have passed. Each day you grow more frustrated at the lack of jobs that meet your needs as a student. Those that do appear to fit your schedule have yet to call and schedule and interview. So you wait.

You distracted yourself by throwing your energy into your graduate work when you weren’t searching for jobs. Late nights were being spent at the library. Once, you had even just slept on the small couch overnight instead of going home. It was easier to focus on your work than to get lost in the thoughts of him. At least your advisor was happy; lord knows someone deserved to be.

Bitsy knows you are depressed. She says nothing and spares you pitying looks. She knows that if you want to talk that she is there to listen. But only when you’re ready. At night you lay in bed in a trance-like state; it was the only time you allowed yourself to think of him. Over and over again you recount what happened between you and the doctor. It made less sense the longer you obsessed. You had been so certain that you weren’t alone in your feelings. But his dismissal of you from the post as his TA made it clear just how wrong you were. You had crossed a line.

“Hey, how are you? I haven’t seen you in a while,” a quiet voice spoke next to you, breaking the quiet that was the library.

You look up from where your head is propped on your fist. It’s Sara. You sit up straight. “Hi. I’m, uh…. I’m good.” You cringe at how unconvincing you sound.

“Shouldn’t you be with Laszlo right now? Or is he here too?” she asks, leaning her hip on the table at which you sit.

You blink at her. Voice as controlled as you can manage you respond with “Did he not tell you?”

Sara looks deep in concentration for a moment. Her brows scrunch; “tell me what?”

Now your annoyance grows. Clearly she, and you assume by proxy John, had no idea what transpired between you and the doctor. “He let me go. Said he didn’t need my help anymore. I haven’t seen him in weeks.” You can’t meet her eyes as you confess.

She gasps in her shock. “Did he give a reason?” As much as you like and trust her, you fear exposing the truth. You shrug. Under her breath she mutters “that man wouldn’t know a gift horse if it looked him in the damned mouth.” She shakes her head, her own annoyance clear in her features. “Do you need anything? Are you looking for another placement? It’s a little late in the term but I can put in a good word for you?”

Once more you lie; “No, that’s alright thank you. I have a few interviews lined up this week. I’ll manage fine.” She nods, a guilty look on her face.

“Well if anything should change, you know where to find me. Perhaps one night soon we can even have a girls night and catch up.” She checks the time on her phone. “I have to get going, but let me know alright.” She offers a smile and a squeeze on your shoulder as she goes.

Half an hour goes by with you just staring at your laptop. An email alert breaks you from the nothingness. Opening the document, you see it is a paycheck deposit notification. You do a double take. It is dated after Kreizler dismissed you. “What… there’s no way this is right?” You huff. The last thing you need to have the feds come after you for accidental fraud or something, so you pack up and head to the student affairs office.

When you reach the front of the queue you paste on your best smile. “Roger, dear how have you been? It’s been months. How’re the wife and kids?”

The portly man squints at you before finally deciding that “oh, I remember you. What can I do for you this time?”

“I got a paycheck for a TA job that I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to have. Can you check the system please?” He types away for a short period of time.

“Yes, it says you received the standard wage for the most recent 2 week pay period.”

“Exactly,” you point at him with a finger.

He looks over his bifocals at you. “I’m not sure what the problem is here?”

“I don’t have the job anymore,” you explain.

He frowns as he inspects the screen in front of him. “Says here you do. Did your supervisor formally withdraw you from the position? It’s part of their contractual obligations.”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Looks like they didn’t change it in the system. You’ve still got the position.”

You scratch at your forehead trying to make sense of everything. Why hadn’t he taken you off the listing? He knew how much you needed the job, how much you needed the money- The realization that he must have done this on purpose hits you like a freight train. You scoff.

Roger looks you up and down for a moment before asking if he can help you with anything else. Keeping your tone as polite as you can manage in your anger, you tell him “no, thank you, Roger. You’ve been a big help.”

You leave the student center, marching at a brutal pace to find Laszlo and give him a piece of your mind.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @thatoneartgalsstuff

[twistedtummies2]

Commission Info

PRICES AND SLOTS

Standard Fee: $15 per thousand words (this is the same as saying 1.50 USD per hundred words, or a penny-and-a-half per word).

Discounted stories will typically be charged $10 per thousand words. Commissions will open once at the start of the year, most likely late January or early February. A Discount Options list will be posted as a Journal within three to five days before commissions open. Comms will be split up into five rounds of six stories throughout the year; once the queue is filled, the comms will not reopen till the following year.

In negotiation, no story may exceed 8000 words minimum.

Extra fee will only be applied to stories that go 3000 words or more over the agreed-upon minimum length; how high the fee is will depend on various factors. (Extra fee starts at $5 and goes up by fives; so from 5 to 10, then to 15, and so on. Usually, Extra Fees do not exceed $20 if even needed.)

HOW TO REQUEST A COMMISSION

Please submit all commission requests to this e-mail: ccmtt2comms@gmail.com

THINGS I WILL WRITE

Non-Kink Related Stories. (For things that do have kinks...keep reading.)

Soft Oral Vore (Fatal and Non-Fatal)

Digestion (how graphic it is can be discussed)

Belching

Facesitting/Butt Crushing/Rump Smothering

Macro/Micro or Same-Size/Full-Size

Stuffing (and Soda Chugging)

Post-Vore or Post-Stuffing Weight Gain

Sentient Fat

Mawplay

Belly Worship/Belly Smushing/Belly Smothering

Probably other things I just can’t think of right now. :-P

THINGS I WON’T WRITE

Possession AV

UB

CV

Food Chain Stories (or “Vore-Ception” stories, if you will)

Force-Feeding or Prey Fattening

Inflation/Weight Gain (when it’s not vore/stuffing-related)

Disposal Content

NSFW/explicitly lewd content

Overabundance of Cartoon Physics (except in non-kink works where this can apply; what I deem “overabundance” can be discussed in private)

Excessively Gory Content (what I declare “excessively gory” can be discussed in private)

Very Small Preds vs. Very Large Prey (Something like a SLIGHTLY shorter character consuming a SLIGHTLY taller one MAY be done, but something like a three-inch-tall mouse consuming a ten-foot-tall dragon is a no-no.)

Again, probably other things I just can’t think of right now.

THINGS I MIGHT WRITE.

Transformation into Food, Inanimate Objects, Etc. (I’m not into TF in the slightest, and I would rather avoid writing it as much as possible. HOWEVER, I may be persuaded to write it under certain circumstances, and for certain people.)

Hypnosis. (Depends on its use in the story and the characters involved.)

Foot/Paw-related Content. (I will NOT write this if it is the focus of the story. HOWEVER, I can be persuaded to include some minor uses of it within the course of a story where other elements are the focal point.)

Hard Vore. (This is similar to the previous point; I will not write it as the focal point of any story, but I might be persuaded to include minor uses of it in a piece with other elements as the focus.)

Prey Preparation. (Cases where the prey is treated as food in a more literal sense - things like being put into a sandwich and such. Anything involving actual cooking is NOT allowed; everything else can be discussed, it will depend on several factors.) Absorption. (Amorphous preds are not usually my game; stories involving blobby or otherwise unconventional things absorbing people, rather than eating them in the typical manner, may or may not be done under certain circumstances and for certain characters.) CHARACTERS

If it's an OC, I will need a good description or some sort of reference. I will also need any specific personality or story traits revolving around the character, so I can make sure I do what you guys and gals have made proper justice. Please stick to relevant facts, however, when able; overwhelm me with character info, and I will be...well...overwhelmed. If you wish to have something in the fanfiction genre, the only rule is that I need to have an understanding of the character(s) and fandom in order to write about them. If you want to know what kinds of fandoms I focus on, turn here: https://twistedtummies2.tumblr.com/post/661043669441396736/fandoms THE $10-PER-THOUSAND DISCOUNT WILL APPLY TO MY OWN OCS ALL YEAR ROUND.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR CONCERNS, CONTACT ME VIA NOTE (or other Private Message system).

[the-bjd-community-confess]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Sound Proof

okay so this fic was from Wattpad and I found it in my google docs so I’m just gonna upload it here for ya’ll lol. I didn’t tag, I wrote this a while ago let me know what ya’ll think!!!

Warnings: Smut.

With dancing, came immense concentration and a lot of cardio.

That was all okay for Damara. She wore her silk pressed hair back into a pony, simple Polo Ralph Lauren hat on to keep her edges slicked back, high waist thin grey leggings, all white cropped tank, and matching white Vans. Damara held onto the aluminum double bar Ballet barre, studying her glistening reflection within the wall mirrors that covered every single area from floor to ceiling. 

Her chest rose and fell, right hand coming up to rub sweat off the tip of her nose. She had thirty minutes down, only twenty more to go. Being a pro dancer was fun when you posted tutorials on Instagram and YouTube, but when it came down to touring internationally and getting a chance to perform at Coachella, dance became a full time job.

Damara stares down at her version three iWatch, allowing herself to become consumed with the breathing app. She watched it expand with every breath, then declined whenever she exhaled. After her breathing returned to normal, Damara pulled up her iTunes playlist again, choosing to go sensual with a little bit of flash dance routine.

The instrumental to Kendrick Lamar- Love.

This song was always a warm up for her because it got her ‘in the mood’. She could feel the want and need behind the beat and his words. Damara snakes her hands up her frame, sliding slowly from the cuff of her ass, to her lower back, and lightly up and over her shoulders, forearms pressing into her large D cup breasts. 

One thing is for sure, Damara could move her torso like Shakira, body rolling and ticking to the beat with perfect harmony. Doing a sudden spin on her tiptoes, Damara Lowers herself to the polished flooring, arching her back off of the surface with her legs spread into a V, before lifting her lower half off the ground to do a series of air kicks like she was back in an 80s workout video or like she was in Kanye West’s video for Fade instead of Teyana Taylor.

She turned over onto her hands, hitting a side to side split perfectly before lifting from the ground to walk seductive and tantalizing towards the middle of the dance studio.

That’s where it began, the sweatiest most bewitching dance yet. Her hands cascade everywhere, eyes closed to take in the beat with heightened hearing. Her hands rubbed along the outline of her pussy in a teasing manner. Damara was so shameless when it came to dancing provocatively. She twirled and made an S with her body like a snake, body in sync to the beat. The sultry look in her eyes could trap you like Medusa. You would think she danced to one of Prince's songs from the outside looking in. 

The song came to an end, Damara lifting her shirt over her head and tossing it in the corner, picking up her gallon water bottle to take a huge sip. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, feeling the burn in her curvy waistline from all the crunching and belly rolling that came with dancing. Her gluteal muscles were on fire as well, causing Damara to admire her ass in the mirror, sweat staining the crack of her ass over the fabric. 

—

Finishing up, Damara grabs all her things before leaving the dance studio at the gym she finally snagged a membership for. The gym had two sections: one for premium guests who had VIP access to the soundproof workout rooms or standard. Sadly, Damara was standard. She always wanted to workout in the soundproof tinted glass rooms like all the extremely fit individuals did, but one look through those glasses at the equipment housed within would make you withdraw with fear. Her personal trainer had stressed for her to go VIP, bribing her with access to the ice bath room and luxury pool where you can watch the LA skyline like you’re in a hotel.

She made a left at the end of the hall, walking with her shirt and towel over her shoulder to the main gymnasium area full of musky people and terrible workout music. Even though Damara did a one hour session of dancing, she couldn’t help but to gravitate towards the stair master for a good fifteen minute burn. Once there, Damara climbs the stairs, beginning her workout on nine speed, instantly feeling the ache. Her eyes scanned the area, finally landing on a group of women huddled around one of the sound proof workout rooms for VIP gold card members. 

She let out a tired chuckle, shaking her ponytail clad head before pausing to drink some water. Of COURSE they would all salivate over some random ass man instead of working out, because that’s what gyms are for these days. On queue every day Damara comes to the gym, once the clock strikes 8 pm, a hoard of women suffocate the glass, fogging it with their heavy breathing and wetting it with saliva from their wiggling tongues. Damara would have been one of them if she listened to her group of girlfriends who didn’t come in tonight. Supposedly, there is this fine ass man that comes to the gym every day, around 8 pm. Damara never seems to catch him, and even if she did, no man was that fine to act like a hyena over. He couldn’t be that sexy.

“Ooo, girl, let me get off this got damn treadmill he back again!” Damara turned to find a short, slim, mocha skinned girl with a track runners body ogling the group of women, her friend who looked like she could be her sister, biting her lip.

“I wonder if he’s doing the pull ups right now, fuckk. You know his dick stay hard when he working out.” 

The other girl laughs, “I just want to suck it. Just give me one good time!” 

Both women laughed while Damara tries her best to work out and ignore them. But to her surprise, she couldn’t focus. Not because of the talking, but because she wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Maybe after this she could rub it in her friends faces that whoever this guy was, wasn’t about the hype after all.

Defeated, Damara stopped her workout, quickly lowering herself off the machine and towards some spray and paper towels to wipe away her sweat. Tossing everything, Damara makes her way towards the sound proof workout room straight across from the men’s locker room. 

Here she was, and yet just a few minutes ago she was laughing to herself at how ridiculous it was to come to a gym and stare at a man for two hours. Wasn’t no man fine enough for that.

The glass window straight ahead had about seven ladies standing in front of it, whispering and admiring at what looked like absolutely nothing to Damara. It was so dark she couldn’t see a thing. As she got closer, at first, all she could see through that glass was the usual workout machines of all types and weight racks. Just before she could walk away, he started lifting those weights. Suddenly, as if pulled by some type of force field, Damara turned into a fan girl with glossy eyes and a watery mouth. He had to be the one her friends were talking up. There is no way he couldn’t be the one with how fine he is. 

“This must be your first time noticing Erik.” 

Damara turned to the lady who looked to be twice her age standing next to her.

Damara didn’t respond, she simply looked back at him through that tinted glass. He was so fucking sexy that her jaw dropped; literally. Erik was definitely the one her friends were juiced up over. Not the juice you drink, but the drip from that pussy when she hungry for a nigga as damn fine as he is. 

Erik had been bench pressing weights and she couldn’t get a good enough look at him until he lowered the weights. Yeah, when he was laid out on his back, sweaty muscles moving as he lifted 280 pounds over his head he looked good, but GOD once he stood up was she slapped with his looks.

Erik was wearing sweat shorts that dropped low around his waist, a damp sweat top and a pair of Nike Air Max Trainer 1s on his feet.

His braided back dreads were damp from the perspiration; it really set off his caramel complexion.

Erik returned his weights to their respective places and stood facing that mirror with a bottle of gatorade. Damara could really see how perfect he was. Fine wasn’t even the word, it was so much she could say about him. The look in his eyes, the way his muscles moved in conjunction with him, the smoothness of his skin, the hairstyle that compliments him very well, and let’s not forget those lips. She figured he got many compliments on his lips, as beautiful and suckable as they were. That thick erection he was sporting was an added bonus. All she could see was herself lowering onto it and rocking like crazy, like she was riding a horse. When she returned to reality from her lustful daze, she noticed her hands were flat against the glass, jaw STILL dropped, and her nipples tender and hard practically clawing at him. They were so hard that they were hurting, and the feeling of his lips pulling and sucking and licking on them would have been exactly what she needed, just pull her shirt down and suck em.

All of that talk and fantasizing in her head, ironically made his eyes meet hers. Damara swore she thought those big, dark eyes could see her and only her. The lady she ignored next to her smiled, like she knew what Damara was going through. She did, that’s why her and the others were still there.

——

Feeling a little foolish and embarrassed by her behavior, Damara asked the lady next to her if Erik could see them or was it one of those half way windows.

“Girl, he can see us alright. That’s why his dick is so big and hard poking through those shorts. He sees something he likes.” 

Damara looked back at him, and right then like a spark had been ignited, he smiled a little at her with dimples, then winked before downing the rest of his gatorade. Damara could feel her knees buckle, body so nervous. She decided it was most definitely time to bounce. That night, Damara never told her girls about seeing the living legend, but she did go back the following day, a Wednesday, to stare him down at that window again. She purposely went there alone to have him to herself. It was crazy how obsessed he became.

——

After about a week or so of admiring Erik through that glass, Damara decided to take it up a notch and use the adjoining women’s workroom; yeah, like she could actually bench press any of the equipment in there. Getting into that women’s workroom meant that she had to become a gold member. The upgrade was about 20 dollars more, which landed her to about 80 dollars a month; great.

She felt like she’d been walking the yellow brick road to the emerald city. Opening those double glass doors to her new sanctuary,  she could smell musk no longer, only fresh air and a cool breeze. The music was even better in there, sicko mode playing low through the speakers. It was approximately 7:50 pm, so she knew Erik would be arriving soon. 

At about 8:15, a little later than usual, Erik pulled open the doors and walked into the men’s workroom. He had his dreads crinkled and messy, a pair of Beats solo 3 in black with gold trim over his ears, black Nike pro training top that clung to his body like it was two sizes too small, matching black shorts that hung low on his hips with the waistband of his compression pants peeking through. He hadn’t immediately seen Damara on the other side since she was in the corner tugging on the pull ropes that she couldn’t make budge. She didn’t really know what to do. If she popped out of nowhere near that window, she could scare him to death, and he’d be mad. He looked like the no nonsense type too. 

Damara decided that hiding wouldn’t fix anything so she came out into the open to do some yin yoga poses that helped stretch her body. Sitting Indian style, she started with the butterfly, bending forward while gripping her shoes. The stretch made her moan, all the tension in her back disappearing. Next, she decided on the dragon, bringing one foot forward in a low lunge, stretching out her glutes and back again. Admiring herself, she liked the way her ass looked in the tinted mirror, and apparently so did Erik. Her heart dropped to her stomach like she’d been on the tallest roller coaster, her eyes reverting towards the ground. Damara could feel his eyes on her still as she lifted from the ground, rolling her neck. With one hand on the back of her neck to stretch the muscles, her eyes met his again. That same slight smile graced his face again, almost innocent, but those eyes were dark and sultry, like hot coal.

The heat turned down just a little, Erik walking away leaving Damara a flustered mess.

——

He started out with a little cross training. Damara watched from her workout mat in between doing crunches. Next, he pumped a little iron. She noticed how he enjoyed admiring himself when he lifted weights. The veins in his arms would bulge so much it looked like they wanted to break the surface of his skin. She could see his mouth slightly opened, concentration set in his features, and she just knew he was making those grunting, straining noises that guys make when they workout. Watching those muscles flex and bulge like that made her weak in the knees again. She liked the feeling. When he lay on his back to do the leg lifts, that’s when she lost it in a major way. The weight Damara had in her hand to do Russian twists fell down on her shoulder. She screamed out without even knowing it. All she could feel was pain beginning to throb in her left shoulder, and she laid back on the floor massaging it with a whimper. Unfortunately, at that time Erik was the last thing on her mind. When Damara got enough nerve to look at the window, Erik was pressed against it looking at her. He mouthed to her since it was sound proof, “You aight, Lil Mama?”

After Damara figured out his words, she nodded and gave him the okay symbol with a tired smile. Erik stares at her for a few seconds, scanning her frame in that PUMA workout suit she decided to wear, then moved on to the leg machine again. Damara liked the way he scouted her, and that made the pain in her shoulder go unnoticed.

——

Throughout their workouts, they would peep each other, and he liked the attention she was showering him with. There he was again with those pull-ups, directly facing her with intimidation in his eyes. Somehow, he had lost his shirt along the way, sweat pouring off his body like he’d been doing push-ups in the rain. 

Damara’s workout suit was almost see-through and hugging all her curves, and he definitely paid attention because his erection was good and hard, tenting the front of those black workout shorts like wild. Damara wanted to think it was solely her making those pants tent like that, but working the hell out of those machines may have played a role in it. She’s good, but not that good.

The more she looked at Erik, the more she wanted to taste him, feel him pressing into her throat. 

Damara looked down at her iWatch and realized it was minutes to closing time, but she couldn’t leave that room, let alone that window. She hated to leave because he was worth staying and getting caught with. Knowing the kind of man Erik was, he probably got a kick out of the chicks staring his fine ass down, then going home to his equally fine ass girl. That was the kind of luck Damara had: finding the juiciest man on the planet, but not able to land him because he was taken.

Damara suddenly had a lightbulb moment. Erik was a gold member, with a passkey to leave the gym if he ever got locked in. Damara could lie and say she lost her passkey, having to go to him to get out...or to get off! Shit, lord knows she needs that, it’s been way too long. Suddenly, Erik made a move she hadn’t been prepared for. He stepped away from the weight trainer and approached the window again. Damara couldn’t move, couldn’t muster a speech, all she could do was watch him approach her with that sweaty, perfect body. Maybe not so perfect to some because it was littered with tiny raised scars, but to her it was absolutely perfect. Man, the closer he got to her, the hotter she got. In all her orgasmic nonsense with a pussy so wet and probably creaming her panties, it soon dawned on her that he probably approached her to ask her why she’s still there; that maybe he was tired of being stared at as if he were a zoo animal. Damara got scared and backed up.

Erik backed up a bit, confusion on his face before chuckling, giving her a head to toe view of him, then he got busy. His eyes stared into hers as he massaged that massive erection up and down through his pants. Damara could feel her nectar elevating within her core. Then it hit her, he was about to give her a private sex show. Was she about to bounce? Fuck no, she stayed and watched everything that pretty nigga did.

When his erection got hard and thick within his pants, he let out a fucking dazzling smile that could make her cum right there. No man had ever smiled so wickedly at her that her panties got wet; then again, she’d never met Erik. His pecs were mouthwatering to the point of drool, contours and ripples were everywhere. All her nasty little tongue wanted to do was lick, lick from his collarbone to his abs and continue south. Her hands shook as they clutched her chest, feeling her nipples brush against her fingers. All the while, her eyes never left his.

——-

Bending to remove his shoes and socks was a chore because that delicious dick was in the way, but he managed. His fingers beckoned Damara to get closer. Damara knew he was going to slide his pants down next, the nigga was clever with his seduction. She moved back to that window, and watched him slide his shorts to his hips. His dick bounced out, sprang to life, and she dropped to her knees, wondering how all that would feel stroking her insides. He was real heavy, the type of dick where the tip and about two inches could only fit in the pussy. The type of dick where you would push him away while he blew your back out from getting too deep. The type of dick where you had to use two hands to jerk while you sucked; you really gotta be a pro to suck a dick like that with no hands, not to mention ride a dick like that.

Erik bit at his plump bottom lip, massaging it with his tongue while his hand massaged that long pole; that damn snake. The more he stroked, the bigger and bigger it became within his hand. He strokes that beautiful dick until he was about ready to nut. He mouthed at her through that sound proof glass, 

“I want that throat.”

His muscles tensed, he squeezed it harder, and playfully rubbed it against the glass directly where her mouth was. She swore she could taste him, feel him sliding it between her lips and forcing his inches into her. Erik stroked it so hard that she could see the moisture forming on his tip. Damara couldn’t help herself, she had to reach between her thighs and stroke her pussy to match his tempo. Damara pulled her suit down, revealing her drenched sports bra and panties to him. She didn’t want to waste any time the way her fingers made its way to her panties, pulling the fabric to the side to reveal her wet sticky treat. The more he stroked himself, the deeper her fingers slide into her valley; all three of them. When Erik dropped to the floor, she scrambled to see what he was going to do next. It was fucking outrageous! That pretty ass nigga got on his back and moved his hips up and down like a bitch was on top of him. Damara screamed in ecstasy over the sight of it. Her fingers went deeper and deeper like she was trying to scoop her cum out the pussy. She turned around and arched her back, rubbing at her clit with one hand while fingering herself with the other. He pumped hard and long, perspiration dripping from him, muscles tensing. Damara just knew he was going to explode on the floor instead of her which was a damn shame. No. No fucking way. He turned over on his stomach, and did push-ups, pumping those hips and dick into oblivion. He still hadn’t cum for her yet. His arm shook when he did his one-handed push-ups, dick throbbing in his other hand. She felt her orgasm building deep in her belly, her legs shaking from muscle strain and intense pleasure. That was the grand finale, watching him cream into his own hands while staring her down. 

Damara screamed out, Cumming on her fingers with a shake of her body.

——

He returned to his back and pressed out so much cum that she almost fainted from the orgasm he gave her. When her breathing returned to normal, Damara looked into her hand, now covered with so much of her own thick moisture that her fingers were sticking together. Then she glanced up at him watching her with a sweet smile on those wonderful lips—his erection was still in his hand and still harder than boulders. 

The windows were nice and steamed by the time he and Damara finished. She watched him grab the rest of his belongings and headed for the showers. Damara took off as well, figuring that was all she’d get from him. 

Damara made her way to the showers herself, letting her plan go. At least she got a good show from him so she was thankful. 

While in the shower, Damara couldn’t help but smile as she wet her body under the steamy water. She struggled to fight the urge that this was it and probably her last sex show a man would ever give her and he didn’t even touch her. Damara allowed the warm water to trickle down her aching joints and relaxed. Her body mitt delicately encircled her breasts, pretending the sultry touch was Erik’s fingers, sucking on them gently before making a tongue track down to her core. She shuddered in waves of heat. Her body trembled, spasms, taking her mind off the pain from her injured shoulder. She completely gave in to pleasure and let the most tremendous orgasm hit her like no other one had ever before...well, until Erik happened on the scene. 

Then.

“Damn, girl.”

The words came from nowhere. Damara assumed they had been in her mind. Nonetheless, her eyes opened and she twirled around to see if anyone had come in. There Erik was, standing directly in front of her. Damara tried reaching for her towel but Erik snatched it from the railing before she could get it.

His cool, seductive voice melted into her horny spirit. 

“Imagine how big this dick would be if I would have been standing right above that ass, watching you finger that pussy from the front. All I could see was that phat ass shaking and quivering to some sexual fantasy. Was it about me?” 

Damara couldn’t speak. All she could do was look down at the towel around his midsection, sporting a killer of an erection. Her mouth opened, her voice cracked. 

“I...I, uh…”

“It’s okay, babygirl. I already know that ass was thinking about me. How could you not after the show I gave you.” 

Erik moves toward her, one step away from entering the stall with her. 

“You liked that show I already know that shit. I already know I got you”— he slapped her pussy, then reached around to palm her ass roughly, smacking each ass cheek causing it to sting—“hot enough to want more, right? You should anyway since I gave you a little taste of what the fuck I got,” he pulled his towel off and entered the stall.

It was different from having that window in between them both, Damara covering her nakedness with her arms. Erik pulled them down.

“Don’t you dare cover up a fucking thing.”

The grip on her wrists were so tight her hands shook.

“So, you just walk in women’s locker rooms? What if I wasn’t the only one here?” 

He chuckles, letting her wrists go, “And? I don’t give a fuck about that. It’s okay for me to do whatever I fucking please in here.” He kisses her cheek. “I’m Erik—“

“I know who you are, Erik. Every woman within a five-city radius knows who you are.” 

“Yeah? And who might you be?”

“Damara; nothing exotic, nothing romantic, just regular old Damara.”

“Not from where I’m standing, girl. You are so fucking sexy. I bet you taste good too, I know that pussy enjoyed me pleasing you.”

“It did, I can still feel it.” She lets out a moan.

“Well then that pussy won’t mind if I please you again?”

Damara relaxed, his hands covering her breasts, much the same way they did in her daydream. He stroked the tight tips with his thumbs, then replaced them with his lips. She was right, that mouth was made to suck on some titties. Erik sucked them ferociously, licking them like they were candy. Her head reared back as he sucked like he was trying to milk her. Her back arched off that wall, his arm circling her waist and pulling her close.

“So, you want everything, huh?”

“Every single drop.”

Erik’s muscles tightened around Damara; their bodies pressed against the wall. As the water continues to drench them, he lifted her into his arms; her legs hugged his hips. She felt the tip of that delicious dick play with her opening, tease it, rub up and down on it. She faces him, staring into those delicious brown eyes of his. 

“It’s almost closing time, I couldn’t leave yet without a little taste.” 

It definitely wouldn’t be a little with how big he was. Damara prepares herself for the surprise, her pussy clenching and quivering on its own. Erik takes his fingers to caress her clit, taking a single finger to tease it with a flickering motion. Damara kept a firm grip on his neck, pressed against the shower wall. 

“I’m playing wit that clit good, huh?”

She responds with a bite to his shoulder, her pussy jerking in his hand. Erik brings his fingers to his mouth, spits on them, then brings them back to her clit. He was very generous with his spit, making her pussy extra sloppy. Clearly with him still going at it on her clit he aimed to make her cum this time with his own fingers. 

“Ok, you working my clit,” she felt him take his dick to finish it off, rubbing her clit in circles. The smoothness of the tip of his dick hit every sensitive spot on her clit. 

“Make that pussy cum,” she edged him on.

His hand came down to grip her ass while he worked, her body shuddering, legs securing around him even harder, moans echoing off of the shower walls. 

“Shit, fuck, damn…”

She could feel the sensitivity in her pussy too.

“Open up for me.”

Damara opened wider, Erik bringing his dick to her pussy. He pushed his way in slow, only by a few inches before she clamped up. Her guess was correct, he was too much to take. Damara was scared now, she didn’t know if she could go through with it.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking big,” her eyes grew wide.

“Ha, You knew that already when you saw me jerking it.” 

“I’m too tight.”

“So?” He moves his hips, teasing her walls to let him in further. Her body crunched, hand to his chest. Was she fucking a monster dick or what? His shit was too damn much.

“Chill,” her eyelids fluttered. She wouldn’t be able to stand.

“You’ve been eyeing me all fucking week, teasing me and shit and now you wanna cry about how big my dick is?” 

He kissed at her neck, causing her to moan and rub her wet face against his. She brought her hands to his biceps, squeezing them tightly. 

“Be gentle, okay? It’s too damn big.”

Erik takes that invitation, gripping her hips firm before pressing himself in inch by inch, pausing in between. Each time he entered her it felt like he was ripping her a new hole, but it felt so full in a good way. Along with the pain came a shock of pleasure. The vein on the underside of his shaft rubbed smoothly at the floor of her pussy, a new sensation she had never felt. It curves at the tip to hit her g spot, swiping it each time he moves his hips.

“I don’t think I ever had a dick this good,” she hissed the moment he fully entered her. 

“I already know you didn’t with all that crying you was doing.” He pulled out to the tip, purposely, to make her feel every inch again. Erik pushes back in, watching the way her face went through a series of confused and unprepared emotions. It was time to pick up the pace now. Erik started off slow, his strokes growing and her moans. Damara held onto the rails along the walls of the shower, watching with astonishment how Erik’s dick fucked her.

“Oh, oh, omg,” she shook tremendously, a single hand clawing at Erik’s chest. He simply fucks her with deeper strokes, reminding her what came with every inch. Clearly he had a fetish for making women cry from how big he was. That rock hard body came with a huge package. 

“Are you fucking kidding me!!!!!” She felt a rush of pressure forming in her lower belly, so big it pushes Erik’s dick out, a fountain of liquid pouring. The more she clenched, the more it flowed. Damara couldn’t control it and it shocked her. No way, this nigga made her squirt and for the first time ever. She’d always tried to make that happen for herself but it never worked so she would give up. 

That seemed to fuel Erik even more, he brought one of her legs up into a split, entering her body again. This time, he flexed his abs, bringing his dick into even more of a curve, really hitting her spot. Erik knew what he was doing, he wanted to see the reaction again.

“Come on, take this big dick,” he held her leg up even if it shook.

“Ah, fuck yes, shit it’s happening again!!” Before she could relax, here she was, squirting again but Erik stayed in. He smiled, slamming her so hard with his dick that she could feel it in her stomach. At this point, Damara might as well lose count of how many orgasms she’ll have. 

———

It was true.

Damara has missed two days of the gym for a reason. 

She couldn’t get out of the damn bed the morning after her and Erik had sex. Her pussy was sore and sensitive, inner thighs shaking when she stood from the bed. Damara didn’t bother exchanging numbers with him, unsure if she would even be able to take him up on a second chance. Deciding to be a big girl, Damara went to the gym for a dance session. 

She stood in the mirrored dance studio wearing a leotard colored bronze, a pair of sweats on and her hair in a messy bun with her vans. She skimmed through her playlist on iTunes, adjusting her AirPods to her liking.

Damara had to squat ballerina style to stretch her thigh muscles, bringing her leg up to extend the muscles of her inner thigh. Rolling her neck, she turns from the mirror, deciding to dance to a Nicki song. Once she got in the groove with the tempo, she started her routine. Her body moved like magic. The mirror wasn’t her own audience anymore, Erik was standing at the door watching her closely. He didn’t make a move, his eyes following her skillful moves along with her dangerous body, I mean, Damara was thick. Even through her loose fitted sweats he could tell. Now that Erik got a good look at her, he recognized her from Instagram.

DeetheeDancer.

She was pretty popular on social media for her dancing. Erik watched a few of her videos from time to time, loving the way she moved. She had this way of letting you know she was sexy from the look she gave in the camera when it followed her body. It was as if she was daring you to touch her, let her throw it back on you and see if you can catch it.

——-

Damara finished off to her first song, bending over with her hands on her knees to catch her breath. She paused her music, picking up her water to take a long sip. After recapping it, Damara’s eyes sweep the area, landing on the door and seeing a familiar face waving at her. 

It was him, the big dick nigga that had her on a two day hiatus. He looked to be arriving at the gym because he didn’t look worn out just fresh with a bomber jacket over top of his workout gear, beats over his ears and shades on. 

“Mind if I come in?” He mouthed.

Damara caught her breath before smiling, motioning for him to enter. He finally stepped through, dropping the duffel bag that was on his shoulder.

“Why ain’t you tell me you were a dancer? You ain’t so average.” 

“It’s kind of hard to do that when you were balls deep in me.” She mouthed tiredly.

“You talk hella bold but when I’m in there I have you running though.” He removed his shades, blessing her with his brown eyes.

“Mind if I watch? I got all day.” Erik removed his jacket.

“Fine with me,” Damara was okay with it, she had eyes on her with dancing almost all the time.

“She plugged her phone into the wall Bluetooth, settling on dancing to some pussy popping music from her freaky playlist. Yes, this was absolutely purposeful.

Right off the back, Megan Thee Stallion Freak Nasty began playing. She started off with a routine she already had to this song. She poses, hands rubbing down her frame before squatting down with a grip on her knees while swaying her hips. She did a turn, one hand in her hair with the other on her ass. Once the beat dropped, she got into the groove with a sexy hip hop routine that involved a lot of footwork and ass shaking. Her ass shook alright, like a goddamn tidal wave straight from the sea. She bounced in a circle, spreading her legs wide before landing into a perfect split that deserved tens across the board like she was a gymnast. 

Erik was impressed, and so was the huge dick that jumped happily in his compression briefs. She was clearly giving it her all, impressing him. He could fuck her ass royally with his dick, congratulate her for the little talent show. She was on the floor again, doing a perfect side split, her eyes moving from the mirror and zeroing in on his erection. She must have known that he was turned on because her eyes didn’t move from his crotch the entire time she grind, bent her body over, and twerked her ass. 

“You think that pussy can handle this dick today?”

She stops moving, hyperventilating before pausing her music.

“Nah, keep that playlist rolling, I want you to dance on this dick.”

She looked at him. He looked at her. She whispered, “okay, I admit it. You’ve got too much dick for me.” 

“Girl,” He wasn’t trying to hear that.

“I’m serious, I need to be able to move not walk like a cripple.” 

“It’s a gift,” he smiles wide.

Damara walks over to the mirrored wall, holding onto the bar before stretching her leg all the way up to her head. 

“See, you preparing yourself already.”

Erik began to approach her, Damara bent over with her head between her legs, looking from behind. She could see Erik making his way to her, the feeling in her stomach making her nervous. Damara lifts back up, grabbing a towel to wipe her neck off. Here he was now, fully enveloped in her personal space with his hands on either side of the bar, chin resting on her shoulder.

“I mean, you really got that shit up there, huh?” He was referring to her leg.

She chuckles, “Chill out, monster.”

“Monster? Hm,” Erik turns Damara around, his eyes scanning her heaving chest, “Well, it is October.” 

She smiles, licking her lips before looking at his, “You plan on scaring me again?”

Erik takes his thumb to stroke her chin, “I thought you were afraid of big, bad things?”

Damara swallows spit, eyes fluttering. She grabbed the bar on either side to brace herself.

“You ain’t know? This is my favorite time of the year.”

Damara places her hands on the back of Erik’s head, pulling him down to meet her lips. They kissed, Erik’s hand on her hips now, pulling her off and against him. The next song that played was dvsn- With me.

“C’ mon,” Erik kisses her again, their full lips in French kiss mode, “dance on me.”

Damara takes her time to work her hips into the slow beat, Erik easily matching her movements. She was impressed, turning now, dipping forward with her ass against his crotch, twirling her hips in a hypnotizing circle. Erik places one arm across her chest, his face buried in her hair, Damara turning to face him slightly while she moved her hips tantalizingly slow against him. 

“Mm,” Erik looked her frame up and down.

Damara turns, on her knees, arching back before rolling her body forward, grabbing Erik’s legs as she began to rise while her hips moved from side to side. She went to her tip toes then, one leg cleanly rising to rest on his shoulder before she arched her back, jumping up for Erik to catch her. He does, twirling her around before slowing down as the song slowed, their eyes meeting. 

“Wow,” she spoke breathlessly.

Before she could stop herself, Damara places her lips against his, Erik bringing her to the floor. Between frantic kisses, Erik undressed her, her naked sweaty body warm against his. She moans, arms around his neck. Erik takes his fingers, slipping inside to get a feel and taste.

“You taste just right,” He sucks slowly on his fingers before taking those same fingers to rub her nipples. 

“Fuck,” Damara pushes Erik down to the floor, her hands moving quickly to undress him. She needed him no matter how big he was. The sight of him again almost knocked her out. Damara grabs his dick, licking her lips before sinking her mouth over him. Erik instantly palmed the back of her head, biting his lip and saying how much of a good girl she was.

Damara sucked like her life was at stake, spit covering her hands and chest. She couldn’t fit him all in her mouth but she did her absolute best. Erik pulls her mouth off, watching the string of spit connect with her lower lip.

“Climb up, Baby girl.” Erik motions for Damara to come to him, Her legs straddling him on either side before her arms grabbed his shoulders tightly. She tried to prepare herself but the moment Erik slipped inside again she squeezed his biceps with her nails. Erik hisses, taking his hands to grab at her waist to keep her still. He started fucking up into her at an even pace, the pressure within her too much. She could feel the shit in her spine. Damara looked back at it, eyes closing in sweet pleasure before looking down at Erik’s smiling face.

“God, please keep fucking me.”

Erik grabs her ass, anchoring his hips before picking up the pace. The scream from her was so loud it bounced off the walls. 

“These walls ain’t sound proof, Baby girl.” 

She couldn’t move or control her cries. Erik was deep within her guts. Damara begged for Erik to keep going over and over, a series of please and I need more escaping her mouth.

“You gonna squirt on me like that again?” He bit his lip, raising his brows in a rude manner to initiate a response from her, “I said is that what you’re gonna do?!” 

“Yes!!!!!”

Damara snapped, squirting like he asked. Erik slaps both her ass cheeks for that.

“Good girl, I know you got more for me.”

“Yes, Erik.” 

She froze, mouth suspended open before cumming again. Within seconds?

“FUCKkkkkk.” 

“Mhm,” he fucked up into her at the same killer pace, “mhm...mhm.”

“STOP!” She cries out, the urge to cum right there.

“Stop it, I’m gonna cum again!”

“Girl, shut up and cum.” 

Erik was close himself.

“Shut that crying up and cum on this dick.”

She went silent, body trembling before cumming for a third time.

“Oh my God,” she cries.

“You gonna let me cum in that mouth, Baby girl?”

Erik bounced Damara a few more times before slipping her off, standing to his feet quickly while she stayed on her knees. Damara opened wide, waiting for his treat. He jerked his big dick, grunts deep and eyes low and dangerous. After three pumps the cream spilled, Damara’s tongue ready. He tasted so damn good. 

“All of it, I’m not playing with you.”

She grabs his dick, licking and sucking all of it off.

“Good girl,” he puckered his lips down at her, mouthing a kiss. She almost fainted.

“You gonna have them thirsty bitches mad”

Damara didn’t care.

[thescorpioracer]

Sen Çal Kapımı 1 - Episode Recap

To be honest, this series of posts is mostly going to be a fashion roast. But DISCLAIMER! I really do love this show and Turkish TV in general, it’s just my preferred mode of media analysis is to pick things apart. 😂And I need everyone to know that I am very pro-women, and believe people should be able to dress how they want and not be judged for it or be looked down upon for it. But oh my god this wardrobe department/costumer needs to be STOPPED. I also have zero credentials to be talking about fashion, but will that stop me?

I’m going to make these posts assuming you’ve watched the show, and just comment on whatever comes up. There will be spoilers. Let’s go!

We start off with a voiceover from Eda Yıldız, an A+ romcom trope. (It wasn’t until my rewatch that I remembered that Eda used to do VOs at random intervals, and I’m kind of glad she stopped tbh.) She is a strong woman who wants to get her education and become a landscape architect/designer. She was all set to do that until- dun dun dun! - Serkan Bolat destroyed everything. 

Check out that dart board of a man (and this is the only time we see that photo there). And these outfits are probably the most normal and reasonable clothes she wears in the show. She’s a beautiful young woman, who was a college student, and now works outdoors as a florist. 10/10 outfit. 

Of course that transitions us into an epic slomo of Serkan exiting his private jet. He of course begins to berate his assistant on the phone in a way a friend described as reminiscent of The Devil Wears Prada.

@teamnick​​‘s commentary back when she first started the show. 

Serkan returns to his office for the first time in 2 months after working on business deals in London. Chaos ensues: Miranda Priestly is baaaaaaack.

See... here we have some good fashion choices! We meet the girls for the first time, while they try to sneak off to their graduation without making Eda feel bad that she won’t be receiving her diploma. Melek “Melo” is dressed in a sweet dress with a bold, romantic color, which captures her personality perfectly. Ceren, the rich daughter from a family of lawyers, looks a bit more high-fashion. The dress is short but it has long sleeves and no cleavage so it works out to be chic and elegant. Fifi is unapologetically herself with her full-black, punk wardrobe. Eda is again dressed in a pretty, but casual outfit. Nicely put together for her lower-middle-class lifestyle and her job as a florist.

Enter: the plot device to get our protagonists together. Serkan’s face says it all.

We are then introduced to the main couple’s respective cars. Serkan has his 2020 BMW (though the show blocks out the copyrighted branding) while Eda’s beat up SUV is clearly unreliable. What’s that? Another plot device being introduced? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Also, I just noticed this, but for someone as uptight as Serkan, I’m surprised at how fun his suit jacket lining is. If I’m not mistaken the pattern is of a bunch of rainbow fish. #Snazzy, but they seem out of character?

Plot highlights:

Eda learns she can come back to school and finish her final year, but she’s lost her scholarship and will have to pay. She can’t.

Serkan gives his talk at the graduation (?)-- Is his talk just for architecture students? If so, why are Ceren, Fifi, and Melo there? We’ll never know. I know, I know... it’s all for the ~plot~

Eda calls Serkan out in front of everyone for taking away the scholarship that she earned from his company, Art Life. He is confused but unrepentant. She refuses to tell him her name.

She tries to deface his car with lipstick after keying the side (we never hear about the damage to his car after that). He catches her and wants to call the police, so she impulsively handcuffs them together with the plot devices from Selin’s wedding invitation sitting on his passenger seat.

They then have to go to Serkan’s urgent business meeting with an out-of-town client. Eda drives while they’re handcuffed together. Bickering ensues.

What is this? Foreshadowing? Symbolism?? Eda’s last name “Yıldız” is the Turkish word for “star” so... file that away for later.

One of my favorite parts about watching Turkish dramas is the experience of trying to decipher the fan translations. Add to the fact that Turkish only has 1 pronoun *chef’s kiss* 

Eda refuses to take the elevator to the 15th floor (we’ll learn about her claustrophobia later). Serkan is equally as stubborn, saying she owes  him for screwing up his day. But he has met his match in Eda with regards to stubbornness. They take the stairs.

More highlights:

First instance of fake dating - they need to hide the handcuffs from his client so Eda pretends she’s his girlfriend and a fellow investor.

The girls track Eda’s phone to the hotel and try to find her by asking around the premises. 

Eda charms the client into selling his land to Serkan.

We learn that Serkan is allergic to strawberries and has a lot of health anxiety. He’s a very tightly wound person.

Serkan says “Mashallah,” translator hears 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Engin brings way too many people to open the handcuffs and chaos ensues.

I feel like nothing can do justice to the comedy of 58:45 to 1:00:00 with Fifi using a bobby pin as a lock pick. The dramatic editing is 👌🏼

Leyla gets fired for somehow causing this drama??? And she is so happy to leave that stressful workplace omg, we don’t deserve her 🥺

Serkan and Eda go their separate ways, Eda prepared to never see her enemy again, but of course her phone and purse are still in his car so she has to go to his office at Art Life and confront him again.

Serkan has found out that Whoops, Art Life did cancel the study abroad scholarships to cut costs, but his CFO did it without telling him. And Serkan is pissed, but I think mainly about the fact that Eda did have some (SOME) grounds for yelling at him in public.

Leyla then explains the nonsensical reasoning behind her being fired-but-not-fired and still working. (Spoiler alert: she never goes anywhere and she is my favorite side character to this day).

Eda: “How can I piss Serkan off?” Leyla: “Find a mistake he’s made and he will fixate on it forever. But you won’t find anything.” Eda: “Hold my beer.”

Eda walks into Serkan’s office and his meeting. She gets her purse back and they fight about him not being willing to apologize for ruining her life and education. He refuses and says she owes him an apology for embarrassing him in public (no, dude).

He wants to give her back the scholarship and make it all go away but she rightly tells him that it won’t fix her broken pride from begging the company and her university for a second chance. But somehow her calling him a heartless “Robot” is what gets to him???? And he short-circuits. Eda walks out triumphant. 

~dRaMa!~

MEANWHILE

Melo, as well as being a perfume sales girl, also works as a flight attendant and wants Eda to cover her shift (we’ll get into how that doesn’t make sense in a minute) 

Eda says no, she’s going to meet her boyfriend, Cenk, who she hasn’t seen in months and has just returned from Italy.

Enter: Selin. Serkan’s ex who he dumped a while ago and is now engaged to the heir of a hotel empire. Serkan doesn’t like this. The two of them grew up together and are set to each inherit 50% of the holding company that Serkan’s father currently runs.

Right away Selin serves us with a gender reveal level color scheme.  Personally not a fan. They confirm that Serkan is coming to her engagement party tomorrow.

Meanwhile Eda  meets up with Cenk. Her outfit is still reasonable and cute for her character. He looks mildly like a hobo and doesn’t seem to have anything going for him (I know he’s a throwaway character but the two of them really don’t have anything in common).

This creeper keeps staring at them, but Cenk tries to explain it away and says he’s busy and can’t meet her again until the day after tomorrow. Eda is disappointed but accepts this. Creeper girl remains and remains a red flag to viewers, but apparently not to Eda.

Cut to later that evening, and of course our broody main man enjoys astronomy in his free time (???) idk what he’s charting and to what purpose but okay? 

Eda finds a mini first aid kit in her purse that Serkan put there before returning it. Queue montage of them treating their respective wrists for handcuff-related injuries. #couplegoals

Of course we also needed a sepia-toned flashback to earlier that day when the handcuffs contrived their faces to get too close together. #romance

Finallyyyyyyy it’s morning again and a new day.

Since Eda can’t see Cenk (good, he’s so boring), she agrees to fill in as a flight attendant for Melo, who’s side job is for a private plane company.

Now. This should not be a thing. Eda was in college to be a landscape architect and now works as a florist for her aunt... Where has she learned any relevant skills to work as a flight attendant?? Presumably nowhere. And I really don’t think a private plane company would be so easygoing about just having a random person fill in to cover for her friend? 

But does this show care about that? What do you think...

Also, instead of the standard white shirt, black skirt uniform requirements, the girls decide that this skimpy dress and heels is fine? Hmmm

Also lol @ Melo for assuming that the client who wants jasmine tea and fruit salad is probably a woman. And her telling Eda that the PRIVATE JET COMPANY would in fact have its own tea was very random and unnecessary. 

Back at the Bolat house compound, we meet the parents: Aydan and Alptekin. We’ll see them again later. Selin’s engagement party is today. 

Meanwhile Eda is just.... being a flight attendant, I guess??? And who could possibly be the passenger she has to take care of? Take a wild guess. Of course it’s Serkan Bolat.

And of course that tiny dress (THAT ALSO HAS A LEG SLIT?? WHY?? I really don’t need to see her vagina) looks very practical and professional... not! (Hande Erçel is a gorgeous human, and the dress looks good on her, don’t get me wrong. BUT THIS IS SITUATIONALLY INCORRECT ATTIRE). Also him just folding his vest and then social distancing from it... K? 😂

Eda panics and doesn’t want Serkan to see her and runs away back to her seat pod thing - Serkan takes issue with his fruit salad for ~plot reasons~ (EDIT: I’ve been informed that it’s because there was a strawberry in his fruit salad and since he’s allergic, of course it needed to be fixed. Why doesn’t the plane have a note of that??) and comes back to find this mystery flight attendant.

Eda is very stressed out about this encounter and is also starting to have a panic attack because, surprise, she’s also claustrophobic. 

After Serkan calms her down, they have a cute/civil conversation for the rest of the flight.

When they land, Eda realizes they’re on an island 2h45min away from Istanbul and she isn’t sure what to do with herself (How did she not already know where they were going, as the FLIGHT ATTENDANT??? So may red flags with this private jet company).

Serkan convinces Eda to come with him and she can hang out at the beach while he’s at Selin’s engagement party.

At the engagement party we finally meet Selin’s fiancé Ferit. He’s sweet and non-threatening and clearly insecure about Serkan being Selin’s ex.

This dress/skirt outfit Selin is wearing isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t scream rich socialite to me. Anything with feathers seems... a bit tacky/too showy? Like someone pretending to be rich? Idk, this outfit isn’t one I’m going to really take a stand on.

Does this engagement party warrant being a 2h45 min flight away? No. They try to explain it away as the couple wanting to have something small and private, even though they also invite the press?? But okay whatever, as long as Serkan and Eda cross paths again, I suppose.

Kaan Karadağ has been mentioned a couple times in passing, but now we finally meet our “villain.” Ferit’s friend, and Serkan & Selin’s childhood acquaintance, who has it out for Serkan bc he somehow bankrupted Kaan’s dad? Idk and I don’t really care but tl;dr they’re enemies. 

Another thing I love about Turkish dramas is the censoring. Like, they’ll allow alcohol to be on screen, but they won’t say the word and they’ll just blur out the bottle and any liquid that we’d assume is alcoholic 😂

In the evening, Serkan is tired and wants to leave and Ferit snidely jokes about how Serkan is too picky to have a fiancé of his own. Serkan flashes back to 1 entire day ago when he and Eda pretended to be dating at his business meeting, and says that actually he is engaged to someone and then peaces out.

Serkan finds Eda on the beach, and they are preparing to leave when a crowd of people (Selin, Ferit, and Kaan mainly), arrive to get a peek at Serkan’s new “fiancé.” Eda very reluctantly plays along (good thing she has that unnecessarily sexy “work” dress to help her look the part) and Serkan notices that for the first time ever, Selin is jealous of another woman. #drama

After they finally escape the crowd, Serkan makes an annoyed Eda an offer: Pretend to be his fiancé for the 2 months leading up to Selin’s wedding so he can get them to break up and prevent Ferit marrying into the company. In return, he will pay all the fees to help her complete her last year of studies in Italy.

Eda refuses, stating that she doesn’t want anything from him, and besides she has a boyfriend (Sure Jan; Cenk is such a joke). They have it out and then fly back to Istanbul. But of course the gossips at the engagement have spread the news of Serkan’s new woman so the paparazzi corner them at the airport when they land. 

So glad that we got to see this random mechanic find out the news (???)

They escape the cameras and Serkan takes her home, saying that Art Life has a press conference tomorrow, and she should come so he can save face and tell everyone that she was his assistant accompanying him for work to the party. Eda agrees. 

It should also be mentioned that Serkan still doesn’t know her name at this point?? She refused to tell him and Engin still hasn’t sent him the names of the scholarship candidates so it’s a bit miraculous that their relationship was at all believable.

The next day, Cenk wants to meet but Eda has to go to the press conference. The girls come too for whatever reason, and Melo is convinced that Cenk wants to propose. Eda just lets that fantasy take hold (why tho?), and Cenk shows up unexpectedly right before the press conference and takes Eda into the nearby hotel’s cafe so they can talk.

Eda seems ready for a proposal (they haven’t seen each other or really communicated in months??) but Cenk wants to break up. Eda is shocked (???) but then Cenk mentions that he has a new girlfriend from Italy that he adores, and oh by the way, it’s the creepy girl from the other night who also happens to be here right now?

Okay fine, I guess??? Cenk: “She’s doesn’t speak Turkish” Girlfriend: *clearly a Turkish actress*

Eda is upset that he brought his jealous girlfriend with him to break up with her and says something about how actually, she’s seeing Serkan Bolat now (maybe it’s just me being someone who doesn’t follow tabloids, but are business people really that popular in every day society where everyone knows who they are?). Cenk laughs at Eda, saying that everyone wants to be with Serkan Bolat, and that she’s bluffing.

Eda makes an impulsive decision, and walks away, over to where Serkan has started the press conference. And seals their fate as fake dating in the public eye.

Queue confetti. No really.

And there we have it. That’s the episode!

In all seriousness, it’s a pretty great pilot, especially for a romcom. It hits all the right beats, includes enough tropes, and tells us a lot about what we should expect in the episodes going forward. And no matter how much I make fun of it, I really do enjoy this show! It’s been such a nice distraction from Current Events. I’ve spent a lot of time watching these episodes just saying “oh my god” out loud to myself as I watch all of the cute/romantic gestures that give me a lot of second hand embarrassment (I forget that PDA makes me kinda uncomfortable 😂).

There wasn’t actually that much terrible fashion in this episode, which I didn’t notice until my rewatch. If I continue with this series of posts, I’m hoping they’ll end up being less plot-centric, and more about the situationally inappropriate outfits and strange subtitling choices. 

See you next time?