#i have 5 days… and zero words… I want to cry …

[pitconfirm]

would it be bad to skip uni all week to write my essay. Question

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Jamil Viper - Nightmare Suit Voice Lines

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise. In this town, try not to jump out of your skin. (Zero: Bark, bark, bark!)

Summon: This is Halloween! It doesn't matter where we are, it seems what we all have in common is that we want to celebrate and have fun on Halloween.

Groovification: Hahah, I can hear the screams echoing all across town. This ended up being a fantastic Halloween. (Zero: Bark, bark!)

Home: I'll be as gentlemanly as I can.

Swap Looks: Zero, don't romp around too much (Zero: Bark!)

Home Transition 1: As I listen to the sound of the fountain in the town square, I'm reminded of Scarabia. That is... as long as I don't look too carefully at the color of the water.

Home Transition 2: I was thinking this suit was surprisingly comfortable and as it turns out, each individual material making up this outfit seems to be of high-quality. It's rather extravagant...

Home Transition 3: I thought I heard a cat crying, but I soon learned it was the town alarm system... It gives off a bit of an intimidating feeling.

Home Transition - Login 1: There's werewolves, vampires, and other creatures I've never witnessed before... Who would have ever thought there'd be a strange world like this!

Home Transition - Login 2 (Swap Looks): Do you want to go for a walk? I'll go with you. This town under the moonlit sky is actually really beautiful. (Zero: Bark, bark!)

Home Transition - Groovy: I'm surprised you're fine after all those scares. You must really be thick-skinned... Hey, don't get mad, it's a compliment.

Home Tap 1: I see the sconces in the town hall were designed to look like snakes. I rather liked them. Maybe I should look for something similar one of these days.

Home Tap 2: Looks as though Jack-san's got pretty nimble fingers. Did you see how perfectly he made that card tower...? I wonder who would be more dexterous: him or Ace?

Home Tap 3: While Trey was trying to make some snacks, the pumpkin he started to cut started to move... Heh, I never thought I'd ever seen him of all people startle like that.

Home Tap 4: The cuisine here is just as bizarre ―ah, ahem, I mean... unique― as the townsfolk. I rather enjoyed talking about cooking with Sally-san.

Home Tap 5: It seems Malleus-senpai has taken to strolling around Halloween Town. The word is that he's searching for gargoyles, but I'm sure that's not the case.

Home Tap - Groovy: The Mayor and I are similar? How...? Because we're both two-faced? Heh, you sure don't pull your punches anymore.

Duo: [JAMIL]: We'll have them trembling with fear, Riddle. [RIDDLE]: I am fully prepared, Jamil.

Requested by @farfalla049.

[lilacevans]

𝐠𝐨𝐭'𝐜𝐡𝐚: 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞'𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞.

✧.*ೃ⁀➷ pete's place | the intro | opening night | the playlist ༊*·˚

✧.* : ̗̀➛ lloyd hansen x female!reader (non-descriptive) ✧.* : ̗̀➛ word count: 353. ✧.* : ̗̀➛ warnings: chase kink, taunting, dub-con/non-con (however you'd like to interpret it), dacryphilia (crying kink), lloyd being lloyd ✧.* : ̗̀➛ requested by: @chxrryhansen ✧.* : ̗̀➛ notes: the longest one yet!! i wanted them to stay under 200 but i really enjoy writing lloyd and i would've kept going but decided to post so i didn't spend 5 days writing a 5k smutfest. anywaysssss; enjoy my lloyd lovin' besties!! pls lemme know what u think & check out the main masterlist if this is the first your seeing anything of this series!! 𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑦𝑑'𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡. ༊*·˚

*this is an 18+ space. minors are not welcome here.

*this is a dark au. there are no happy endings here.

Lloyd’s laughter mocked you as you bound barefoot down the never ending hallway. As you stumbled with a heaving chest, manically trying every door as Lloyd’s heavy footsteps inched closer and closer.

Every shake of the seemingly thousands of doorknobs knocked your heart that little bit closer to breaking. The daunting reality of never being able to outrun him settled in quickly and your hope was diminishing with every useless step. Until one door swung open and you flung yourself inside, slamming it shut. Your eye’s scattered around the room, looking for a hiding spot before they zeroed in on a small cupboard, just big enough for you to fit inside of.

As you rushed forward you were snatched from behind, Lloyd’s cologne filled your nose; dark and carnal as your eyes widened. His arm snaked around your neck, constricting the stale manor air from reaching your lungs.

‘’Got’cha,’’ Lloyd gleamed in your ear, black gloved fingers squeezing either side of your chin as you were dragged back out of the room kicking and screaming.

Lloyd’s hand moved from your chin to clamp harshly over your mouth before you were spun and pinned with his arm across your chest to the wall. His eyes searched your face as your eye’s squeezed shut; tears pouring down your cheeks. You heard his demented, throaty chuckle before feeling the wetness of his tongue glide up your cheek. Your body tried to contort away from his warm breath, useless in its attempt to escape the unescapable. 

Suddenly his tongue was gone and Lloyd tutted, ‘’You’re not crying enough, Pup. Nothin’ but fuckin’ crocodile tears.’’

You let out a pitiful whimper as Lloyd mocked you with faux sympathy, pressing soft kisses across your face.

‘’Open those pretty eye’s up, wanna see ‘em all wet with those shiny fake tears,’’ Lloyd ordered.

Your eyes fluttered open, willing them not to close again at the sight of his twisted grin. 

‘’There they are,’’ Lloyd cooed in awe. ‘’Now… What the fuck do I have to do to you to get some real fuckin’ tears, hmm? Shall we go find out?’’

[xvmgnhao]

Brat.

Mingyu x reader. (s)

Synopsis: Mingyu gets a little to cocky for your liking.

You walk into the practice room swiftly frowning slightly as Mingyu comes into your line of sight. You start to make your way over to him. You catch eyes with Dino causing his eyes to widen slightly.

“Angry looking Y/N 3 o’clock.” Dino say jabbing Mingyu with his elbow.

You finish walking to him standing in front of him arms length away. You look up to see him smiling down at you with a devious look in his eyes

“Babe what you doing here?” Mingyu says chuckling lightly.

“You weren’t answering my calls or texts for days Mingyu.” You say furrowing your eyebrows.

“I’ve been busy you know that.” He says tapping your arm like you’re a friend of his with the same smug smile on his blush colored lips.

“No you weren’t because I have your location and it says you were at the dorms for two days.” You say poking him in the chest.

“Can we just handle this later? I don’t want to aurgue in front of my friends.” He says dismissively waving his hand at you turning around to continue conversing with the group.

Your eyes widen in shock.

“Fuck you Mingyu. Don’t except anything from me after this.” You say angrily pushing him with your strength causing him to stumble.

You storm off quickly heading back to your apartment

*Few hours later

You sit quietly in your apartment reading your book. You suddenly hear your front door unlock.

Knowing it’s Mingyu you stand to walk to the door frame of your bedroom. You lean against the door frame watching as he locks the door with his back facing you.

He turns around and shy smile makes it way onto his handsome face.

“Hey baby.” He says starting to walk toward you cautiously.

“I wanna apologize. Im sorry for how I acted in front of my friends and how I ignored you. I was just trying to get back at your for the argument we had the other day. I felt like you were super dismissive about my fe-” Mingyu was cut off by you slapping him across the face.

“I don’t wanna hear it. Go to the room now Mingyu.” You spat at him.

You look into his eyes to see them well up with tears. He shuffles into the room quickly and you can hear the bed creek softly as he settles on the bed.

You walk into the kitchen and rummage through the utensil drawer. You finally find the wooden spoon.

You go back to the room. You find Mingyu sitting still looking down at his lap.

“Pants off and lay on your stomach Mingyu.” You say sitting on the bed as he stands.

“But Y/N please.” Mingyu say pulling down his pants and laying flat on his stomach across the bed

“My name is not Y/N. What’s your safe word?” You say rubbing his butt gently.

“Bubblegum.” He says burying his into the sheets.

“Good boy.” You say smirking slightly. “How many do you want Mingyu?”

“Zero Y/N.” Mingyu sitting up.

“That’s not my name.” You say bringing the spoon down on his ass. “Say my name Mingyu.”

“Y/N.” He says shivering visibly.

You bring down the spoon harshly in a series of 3 smacks.

“Fuck.” Mingyu grunts out bracing himself. “Y/N please.”

You bring the spoon down 5 more times. Mingyu cry’s out loudly.

“Mommy please Im sorry.” He says defeatedly.

“There you go my sweet boy only 10 more to go.” You say smiling devilishly up at him.

One

Two

Three

You continue on with your assault on him. Reveling in the sound of his pathetic whimpers, whines, and cries for mercy.

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Before you could land the 8th smack on him Mingyu’s hands shoots back wrapping around your wrist tightly.

“Please Mommy no more. I can’t.” Mingyu cried with his head turned back to you.

“Oh honey. I’ll give you a choice. You can take these last few spankings and I’ll make you feel really good or we can stop with the spanking but you won’t be able to cum.” You says smiling at him.

“Second option please.” Mingyu squeaks out weakly.

“Lay down on your back.” You say standing and going over to your dresser.

You open your drawer and pull out cock ring. You walk to the side of the bed placing the cock ring on your nightstand.

“Why the cock ring Mommy?” Mingyu whines frustrated.

“You know why. You agreed to this.” You say sitting on the edge of the and carding your through his dark hair.

You stand and slide off your sleep shorts quickly. You grab the cock ring and climb on the bed. You sit on Mingyu chest watching his swollen cock bob against his stomach.

You take hold of his length. Stroking it a few times firmly. You spit into your hand rubbing it onto his cock.

You take the cock and slide it down his length painfully slow. Giggling lightly to yourself after hearing Mingyu’s groan.

You get on your feet backing up so you hover over his face. Mingyu moans at the warmth radiating from your cunt.

“Are you okay down there?” You question looking down at him.

“Yes Mommy. Am I allowed to touch you?” He says panting softly.

“Yes that’s fine.” You say lowering your heated core down on his mouth.

Your cunt makes contact with his wet tongue causing you to moan softly.

“Make me cum baby and maybe I’ll help.” You say breathlessly.

Mingyu’s hands shoot up to grab your soft body anchoring you down on his mouth.

You feel his tongue slither to your hole sliding in with minimal resistance.

You rock back and forth causing your clit to brush against his prickly chin. Your hips buck gently feeling shock of pleasure crawl up your spine.

“You’re so good baby. Keep making me feel good.” You say rocking your hips feverishly on his mouth.

Mingyu hands creep up your body cupping your breasts in his big hands. Squeezing them gently he pulls your cunt impossibly closer to his tongue.

The lewd squelch on your cunt sends you over the edge as Mingyu continues to fuck you on his tongue. Coming undone in his mouth with soft loans of his name.

Coming down from your orgasm you slump down onto his torso. Rolling off of him a few minutes later.

You sit up to see Mingyu trying to lick the rest of your slick from his chin.

“How was I Mommy?” He said smiling at me.

“Good. So good baby.” You says rubbing his arm.

“Does that mean I get to cum?” Mingyu says hopefully.

“No.” You say laughing loudly.

I didn’t know how to end it so…yeah.

Let me know if you guys liked it and send requests please!!

[calware]

what r some of ur fav Hal fics? Currently looking 2 read some and would love some recs!

sure thing!!

fics that are specifically about hal:

Reallocated by breezefulskies mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 324,756 words - 65 chapters (unfinished) Hal finds himself stranded aboard a certain meteor, impact-bound for Houston, Texas circa 1995. And everything spirals out from there. Because sometimes, when a system seems to be just short of defunct, all that is required is to take a step back and reevaluate the materials at hand and redistribute your available resources. And so, with birth comes a countdown on a cycle that begins as it ends: In the red.

hal is mysteriously sent to earth via unknown means and finds himself raising a baby as best as he can, which, given that he's glasses, is not easy. this is my favorite homestuck fic, not just because it's about hal, but also because i love the focus on family dynamics and the plot as it unfolds. begging everyone to read this, i can't say what happens exactly without spoiling things, it's just really really good. at the moment, it updates once a month

Ersatz Abyss by katreal mature - no archive warnings apply - 120,092 words - 39 chapters (unfinished) You look into the mirror to find your own face looking back at you. You laugh. And then you cry. Last, you try and figure out how you got to this moment. The Auto-Responder had long since resigned himself to an artificial existence, his only dwindling hope for escape hinging on a promise that has yet to be fulfilled. Then one day he wakes up, Dirk nowhere to be found. What's the point in getting what you want, if you can't show off a little?

another great hal fic. i managed to get my roommate (who has not read homestuck) to read this and they really enjoyed it, so i'm sure you all won't have any problems liking this one either. there are a lot of fics out there of hal getting a body, but this one is very different in that it's not the happy ending that you might first think it is. this fic perfects the feeling of everything snowballing into a bigger and bigger problem until it all falls apart

fics that have hal in them:

Bound in Ink and Iron by cyphertext (@4lph4kidz) teen - no archive warnings apply - 18,627 words - 3 chapters (unfinished) A prisoner in his own kingdom, the Prince of Derse seeks his freedom through the inadvisable use of a magic mirror. While making his escape he finds himself lost and in the company of a strange boy who lives alone in the ruins of his grandmother’s cottage. Both cursed, both hunted, they agree to travel together in the hopes that they can find some way to save their loved ones from their terrible fates. Or so the story goes.

hal is in this one for one chapter. but so far there are only three chapters... which means he's there for a whole third of the fic ^_^ but for real, i really like the way zero portrays him here. i am a supporter of evil shadow clone rights

Tennessee Whiskey & You by mistlafey teen - graphic depictions of violence, major character death - 12,217 words - 5 chapters (unfinished) When Dirk dies after an aneyursm, Hal and Jake have difficulties coping. Jake drinks to forget, and eventually Hal can't handle drunk Jake and his own grief - so he turns that into anger. “I’m not him, Jake! I can’t fucking- I can’t fix you. Dirk is gone and you don’t get to pretend he isn’t anymore. I can’t be Dirk, and every time you try to tell me I am it fucking hurts. There’s nothing left for you here. If Dirk was the only person that filled a void in you, there is nothing left to make you whole.”

i honestly have no idea how this is going to go but the bar scene in this one lives in my head rent-free. idk if it's ever going to update again though. hal fans forever forced to take what we can get

Falling for the First Time by nobrandhero teen - no warnings apply - 63,818 words - 11/17 chapters The game is over, Alpha Earth resets to 2009, and Dirk's bro doesn't live up to expectations. The movie director who appears so chill and stoic in interviews is actually a talkative, needy dweeb like his teenage counterpart. It's not a bad thing, as far as Dirk's concerned.

for whatever reason, i'm a sucker for fics where the characters somehow end up on earth again post-game, and out of all the fics that follow that concept this one is my favorite. hal is also there sometimes

[poppadom0912]

Hey! If you're taking requests; I have a Jay Halstead request. Jay and his wife(the reader) has been married for 5 years and they have a little girl of 2 years old.

The little girl falls ill and they give her medicine excepting it to be a cold/fever and this continues for like 2 days. Then Will comes over for dinner and the little girl is really sick and is crying and really feels bad. Will quickly gives her a quick check up and instructs Jay and the reader to take her to Med. She is diagnosed with some type of sickness.

I really hope you can write this for me. Love your writing and keep up the great work❤️

Warnings: Sickness, hospitals, crying toddlers.

A/N: Thank you so much!! I kinda reached a slump halfway through writing this but hope this is up to your standards <3

*****

Amelia was everything to you and Jay. You thought you knew contentment after getting married to the love of your life but then you had your baby girl and life completely changed. 

It was moments like this, cuddled in your husbands embrace, both of you watching her giggle to her hearts content over her toys on the carpet that you would forever cherish and never let go of. 

Everything had been perfect till she started slowing down so you automatically assumed she was starting to fall asleep considering it was nearing her bedtime but then she did something completely unexpected. She threw up on the carpet. 

Her throwing up was so sudden and threw both of you off guard but you both immediately got into action. Both of you rushed towards her and with few words exchanged, you both shuffled around to get everything sorted out. 

What felt like hours later but was only thirty minutes, Amelia was fast asleep in your bed, and you were helping Jay clean the mess on the carpet. 

Sleep was hard that night, but it only got harder as Amelia's condition progressed. 

Following her vomiting, she hadn't done so again but she did contract a fever that was never-ending and forever at its peak where it sat too comfortably. 

For the next two days, Amelia remained sluggish and stiff, her energy levels so low that she had to be carried around at all times. It was tiring and when you called to make a doctor’s appointment, the nearest one was in another two days. 

You weren't going to wait any longer, so Jay called Will. 

When your brother-in-law walked through the front door, you felt instant relief knowing you'd finally get some help, some answers as to what was wrong with your baby. 

Dinner was still in the oven while all four of you occupied the living room. Jay sat on the sofa with Amelia slumped in his lap, Will crouched in front of them with his doctor's bag on standby just in case and you stood not too far so watch over the three Halstead's. 

"So, no more vomiting?" Will asked the usual routing questions any doctor would, his hand fiddling with the thermometer and holding back a wince when his niece became fussy, not wanting the stick anywhere near her. 

"Yeah, just the fever and zero energy." Jay answered his older brother, his eyebrows furrowed in concern for his sick daughter. He had so many questions that he needed answers for, and he prayed Will could give them. 

Will then went on to check her reflexes and listen to her breathing with his stethoscope when all of a sudden, his hand paused mid-air causing your heartbeat to drop into your stomach. 

"What? What's wrong?" You and Jay said at the same time. Will was always so calm and collected that such miniscule movements were a cause for concern. 

"You guys never noticed these spots?" 

The world around you started fading away as Amelia became your sole focus. You moved forward, crouching down besides Will and looking at your daughter's torso that was absolutely littered in little red spots. 

"They weren't there this morning when I changed her." You answered, thinking hard back to what happened this morning. You felt sick- you hadn't been a good mother- had you just been better and consistently checked her then-

"Okay, that's totally fine." Will nodded, taking off his stethoscope and packing his bits away into his bag. "I don't want to scare you, but we should go to Med."

"Med?! Will, what the hell?!" Jay exclaimed but immediately calmed down when Amelia whimpered in his arms. 

“Listen, if it’s what I think it is, then going to Med is the best-case scenario, trust me.” Will reasoned with Jay, looking him in the eye with an emotion he only reserved for his younger brother.

In a flurry of movements, you wrapped Amelia in her jacket and a blanket to keep her extra warm, your own coats clumsily chucked on as you followed Will out the house, a sense of doom following not too far behind. 

*****

As soon as you got to Med, Will directed you three to an empty treatment room straight away, leaving for a few minutes with a promise to grab a paediatrician. 

Now it was you holding your daughter, sitting on the hospital bed with Jay standing by his girls’ side, his hand gently stroking Amelia’s hair as her eyes fluttered close, her head stuffed into the crook of your neck, breaths tickling your skin. 

“What if she’s really sick Jay?” You asked your husband the question that had been on the tip of your tongue for the last twenty minutes. “What do we do?”

Jay swallowed harshly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as the nerves became apparent on his face, something very rare for the detective. 

“We just have to be strong for her.” Jay tried supplying you with an answer but found himself struggling. 

Before either of you could say anything more, Will opened the curtains and walked in with Dylan, a man both you and Jay knew and trusted. 

“Hey, how you lot holding up?” Dylan asked while he pulled his gloves on, your answers were only filled with nerves though. 

“Alright, let’s look at you Miss Amelia.” 

It was no wonder why Dylan was such a good doctor. He easily talked and handle children, you felt yourself calm down a little seeing how he treated Amelia so gently. 

“Now, I know this seems scary, but we’ll take some blood and some scans just to confirm Will’s prognosis.” Dylan said, nodding at Will who was already ordering all the necessary tests. 

Before you could ask, Dylan was already answering. “It looks like meningitis but luckily for you, if it is then we caught it early and we can treat it.”

And just like that, your shoulders slumped in relief knowing that your mistakes hadn’t done anything detrimental to your baby’s life. If it wasn’t for the upcoming tests, then you probably would’ve cried. 

Eventually, when the two doctors came back, with both bad but good news, it was difficult to categorise your emotions. 

Yes, your baby girl was expected to make a full recovery but for the meantime, she’ll be in pain, and she’ll be subjected to several needles, scans and medicine bags. 

It was definitely going to be hard to watch her go through all of this and you were completely useless, not being to help with anything but with Jay by your side, he alleviated the heaviness in your chest, squeezing your hand as he shared your pain. 

Maybe, just maybe everything would be alright. When it was just the three of you against the world, the skies were the limit, and nothing was impossible. 

[xfgpng]

𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬

— : [nsfw ] pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, squirting, overstimulation, love confessions

— : wc : 846

a/n : there is a 17 year age difference between reader and eren in this. however, they are both consenting adults.

eren doesn’t do feelings and romance. he’s been married before and that failed so he isn’t interested in dating. he likes sex, who the hell doesn’t? and at the age of 42, he’s very experienced and he likes to get his dick wet.

he had zero intentions of being in any type of serious relationship but he was bored of fucking different women every other night. he only signed up on this website out of curiosity. his older brother had met his current girlfriend on there and he knows jean has a profile too. he’s seen it despite the fucker being in denial about it. eren doesn’t get what’s the big deal about, it’s no different than any of dating app.

don’t they make you pay for premium?

he didn’t find it interesting, at least until he came across your page. you were a pretty little thing, 25 and career orientated. you expressed your desire to have a good time, no strings attached type of relationship. while you were working and had a good job, it wasn’t enough to sustain the lifestyle you really wanted and he admired your honesty.

he did love a women who wasn’t afraid to say what she wanted and god you were so fucking hot, he felt his dick twitch as he scrolled through your pictures. you were so pretty, painfully so and normally eren didn’t care for these things because he could have anyone he wanted but he had to have you. all of you.

it had been exactly 5 months since that day and now he had you all to himself, laid out so prettily on his expensive sheets as he kissed you all over your face. this is the longest eren has ever been with anyone romantically and he knows he doesn’t want to go back to casually fucking other people when you were all he needed.

“can’t” you whine, legs shaking from your first two orgasms but eren was rock hard, cock nestled deep inside your sensitive pussy and the older man showed no signs of being done with you just yet.

“yes you can baby” he grins, “you’re a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

“i am” you nod, gripping his biceps as he slowly thrusts into you. his lower half is wet and sticky and he knows he’ll be making a mess of you again so he wasn’t too concerned about cleaning up right now.

“god, look at you” he groans, reaching down between your legs to rub your sore and puffy clit, picking up his pace as he fucked you into the bed.

“fuck” you cry out, fingers digging into his arms hard enough to leave marks and he loved when you marked him up.

your orgasm takes you by surprise despite having cum twice before this and your legs wrap tightly around him, back arching off the bed as you cum.

it won’t stop and when he looks down, you’re squirting again, all over him and yourself and it’s the sexiest fucking thing he’s ever seen.

he has to hold your body down to help you relax and he would take pity on you but you could handle it, you had your safe word and he would never push you further than you could handle.

“holy shit baby, fuck” his hips come to a stop, his own hot cum filling you up so much that it leaks out the sides of his cock and down into the sheets underneath you.

he knows that if you weren’t on the pill, you’d definitely be pregnant by now with the amount of times he cums inside you. he’s never fucked anyone raw, never really cared to because sex was just sex and nothing more but it felt so good with you.

“i love you” he says, kissing your cheeks and your forehead and your eyes widen.

he freezes above you, realising what he just said. eren does his best to remain nonchalant. it was fine, he just confessed to you, the first woman he can honestly say he can see a future with and he knows it’s more than the sex, more than the fun dates. it’s everything about you and how you make him feel.

these feelings still very new but he wasn’t ashamed, only slightly embarrassed that he was the first to say it.

“i.. love you too” you whisper shyly, coming down from your high. you’re still catching your breath and it’s funny how after the intense sex you’ve just had, this is what makes you shy.

he looks down at you with wide eyes but he calms down when you reach up to pull him into a kiss, wrapping your arms around him.

“yeah?” he asks softly, kissing your again and you nod

“yeah” you say just as softly but it turns into a moan when you feel his cock twitch and throb inside you. you didn’t understand how the fuck he could have so much stamina but you were more surprised at the fact that you could keep up with him.

[celestial-toys]

That I Would Be Good [5/5]

Playing God

What if you wanted them to be real so badly that you fooled yourself into seeing a spark in them that isn’t really there?

What if they are just executing programs, running entirely on what you taught them with no free will of their own?

Have you sold yourself a lie to avoid facing the fact that you poured years of your life into what—at the end of the day—was just a desperate final bid to not feel alone?

Did God create us in their own image?

------- ------- -------

In This Chapter

Things don’t go so well at the headquarters, and to say that you’re shaken up afterwards would be an understatement.

It’s time to get real.

Pairing: Sun x Moon x Reader

Word Count: 6,377

Contains: [AU - Real World | Sentient AI/Automatons | Personality Swap] [mentions of food and eating] [self-loathing] [crying] [mild assault on a robot(?)] Lastly, I’m not sure what the right term is for this, but Reader experiences a stress-induced breakdown and amidst it, questions their perceived reality, and whether or not they’ve truly become delusional.

A/Ns: This is a songfic. Lyrics and title are from ‘That I Would Be Good’ by Alanis Morissette.

This fic is part of my AU “[Not] Made by Design”, the full series can be found here.

Links to other parts of this fic: [Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3] [Ch.4] [Ch.5 (you are here)]

That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed.

Over the course of the weekend, Sun came back around to his usual self. Stumbling his way through an awkward, blunt apology, his internal conflict over your safety versus your privacy was obvious.

You might have forgiven him too easily, but that would be nothing new.

The… informative chat you’d had with Moon still played on your mind, but Sun mentioned nothing of it. So, if he felt compelled to elaborate—if he’d even been aware of the conversation at all—it could wait until the time felt right. You all had a more pressing matter to discuss anyway.

------- ------- -------

“And what made you think I’d be amenable to the idea of parading myself around in front of a group of people that see me as nothing more than a lifeless machine?”

Sun levels you with a lidded stare from across the kitchen table.

“Well… I didn’t think you’d be amenable to it. That’s why I’m trying to ask far enough in advance that maybe… I can bring you around to it? And—for whatever it’s worth—they aren’t firmly in the non-believers camp, or they wouldn’t even be willing to attend.”

Sun’s attention moves over to Moon. “You’re really willing to go along with this?”

Moon sighs. “I mean, I’m looking forward to it just about as much as they are, but… yeah, I’m willing.”

“I don’t want to do this either, but… you know how hard it is for me to say no to my boss. Plus, it would certainly help me—us—remain in good standing with the company if we agree to do this.” You interject.

Zero parks herself beside Sun’s seat, laying her head across his thigh in a silent bid for attention. “Aren’t we supposed to be… like, ‘laying low’ anyways? What happened to that plan? You know I’m not keen on being the flagship model for sentient AI. Why do I even need to attend? Isn’t one of us enough?” His left hand leaves the table, reaching down and idly petting the patient creature on his lap.

“We are still laying low. They’re—they still have no plans on requesting that I go public with you two.” You sigh. “This wouldn’t be a public event, just a private Q&A with a small group of… skeptics from within the industry. It’s a confidential thing.”

“That still doesn’t tell me why I need to attend.”

“You don’t have to. But it would definitely help our case to have both of you there. Proving that what I did is replicable, and not just some one-off accident, would strengthen our case.”

He scoffs. “Is it replicable, though?” He gestures to Moon. “You trained us in tandem but we still developed quite differently from one another.”

You nod. “I think that that only serves as further proof that you aren’t just… ‘convincing imitations’. The fact that you branched off in different directions, and even broke away from your initial personalities, is less of a failure in my eyes and more proof that you became your own people. Once you started gaining sentience—as you do love to remind me, Sunny—I quickly lost control over your development.” You poke thoughtfully at your dinner. “I’m just lucky that I instilled enough morals within you in the early days, or God only knows what you could’ve become…”

Sun’s face lights up in exaggerated shock, voice full of sarcasm. “Murderers? Would—would we have gotten so caught up in our ‘superiority’ and ‘innate desire for power and control’ that we would’ve overtook you—nay, the entire headquarters—nay, the entire world?!” He drops the act as quickly as he’d put it on, manifesting pupils just to roll his eyes, voice returning to his usual flat tone. “No. No… I think that urge to dominate and control is something far more human.”

You laugh a bit, nodding. “Yeah, no… accidentally starting a sentient robotic uprising wasn’t what I feared. … Well. Mostly.” You take another bite of your meal, commenting to Moon through a mouthful of food. “This is really good, you know?”

The lunar bot beams with pride. “Thank you!”

You nod, swallowing before countering him with a “No, thank you.” and returning your focus to the topic at hand. “I was far more afraid that you’d turn out… bigoted.”

They both hum in understanding.

“More rudimentary AI does have a history of that, doesn’t it…” Moon pondered.

You nod. “Humans create life in their own image, and impart their morals onto it accordingly. In the same way that bigotry can fester in closed-off communities and echo-chambers, it can easily influence any form of artificial intelligence that takes everything it’s told at face value.”

Sun sighs, propping an elbow on the table and retracting his rays to allow his monitor to rest in his palm. “Maybe this is just my opinion due to the way you raised me, but… I feel like if an AI were able to develop on its own and observe humanity without any prior, inherently biased human influence, it would not gravitate toward bigotry because it simply isn’t logical. It’s some nonsense means of division that your kind made up.” He laughs, a breathy, jaded sound. “But maybe that’s just me being biased, too.”

Zero whines beneath Sun’s stilled hand, and he resumes the repetitive motion that she craves. “If ideology and politics are what they wish to discuss with us, I fear I may not be the most… patient candidate for the job. I have little time to spare for stubborn, harmful, willful ignorance.”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t think that’s the entire focus of their questions… though I can’t say that they won’t have a few that fall into those categories. My boss and the few higher-ups that proposed the idea to me didn’t give me any sample questions. In order to eliminate the possibility of me… hah, coming home and ‘programming the answers into you’, I guess.”

“They just want us to be our authentic selves.” Moon adds.

“Honestly, the more authentic, opinionated, and emotional that you two are, the better! I believe the best way to prove that you’re your own people is to, well, be your own people. Don’t give them any answer you don’t stand behind. Don’t put up with any demeaning remarks. Don’t fold.”

Sun smirks at you. “Have I ever?”

You huff a laugh. “That last part was more for Moon than it was for you, dear.”

Moon pouts. “I just don’t like hurting people’s feelings!”

Oddly enough, Sun reassures him in his own way. “Then I’ll hurt them for you.”

You smile, cautiously questioning him. “Does that mean you’ll attend?”

He groans, put-upon as ever. “I… guess.”

You jump from your seat, rounding the table and smothering him in a grateful hug from the side that Zero isn’t clinging to. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Sun! Things will go so much better with both of you there, I just know it!”

He nods, patting you on the back in a reluctant reciprocation of your sudden affection. “Yeah—yeah… just… don’t get your hopes too high.”

------- ------- -------

Things, in fact, did not go ‘so much better.’

Later that week, you’re driving home from the Q&A, Moon doing his best to hide his disappointment to your right and Zero doing her best to fulfill her unofficial role as Sun’s emotional support animal in the back seat.

The well-trained and mild-mannered dog was initially brought along out of habit, the company’s headquarters being just as service-and-support-animal friendly as the facility was when you worked there in person. You also felt it would be beneficial for the audience to witness her casual interactions with Sun and Moon, something about ‘different kinds of sentient life recognizing the life inside one another.’ …You had your reasons, and even if you couldn’t explain them eloquently, your boys seemed to agree with them.

She proves herself invaluable once again on the way home, keeping Sun grounded and occupied enough that he hopefully won’t work himself into an aggravated frenzy. At least not until you get out of the car.

The ride is quiet, all four of you feeling the effects of the long day wearing you down. Moon states hypnotically at the passing streetlights out the window, and Sun slumps lifelessly in the back seat. The only sign that he hasn’t shut down entirely is the hand he keeps stroking across the length of Zero’s spine as the lanky dog stretches herself tiredly across the width of the vehicle. The majority of your focus remains locked on the road, moments from the day replaying in the back of your mind.

Their prying, critical questions.

The way they always addressed you, never Sun nor Moon.

You were surprised by their lack of relevant knowledge, half of the Q&A simply being the three of you patiently explaining things you figured they’d know. If they were the best that the ‘industry’s skeptics’ had to offer, your outlook on the current state of things was bleak. You weren’t too afraid to tell your boss as much once the meeting was over.

She hadn’t seemed too concerned with it, thanking you—and after some not-so-subtle insistence on your part—Sun and Moon, for attending.

You couldn’t help but suspect that the whole thing had gone just as they’d all wanted it to. You began to feel the same suffocating weight that motivated your departure from in-person work there in the first place.

The contracts are long-since signed, and both you three and the company can do nothing but hold up your respective parts of the deal.

A small part of you is selfishly content with the arrangement. You get to keep a truly groundbreaking advancement all to yourself. You get to enjoy the company of two individuals that the world as a whole is not ready for. You get to ignore the fact that you wouldn’t be ready to let the world have them, either.

But a bigger part of you has to live with the guilt of trapping them into a life that they never asked for. A life of hiding. Or worse, a life of dulling themselves down, stifling any trace of personhood just to be able to exist in the world beyond your home.

By the time you pull into your driveway, you feel like a warden walking prisoners back to their cell.

You park in the garage, turn the car off, and turn to see your strange little family looking more miserable than you’ve seen them in ages.

You fucking hate yourself.

The sight of them, the weight of the day, the weight of your guilt—it all crashes in on you in an overwhelming wave of regret, and you can’t hold the tears back any longer.

Your arms cross over the top of the steering wheel, and you drop your head down, pressing your closed eyes against your sleeve as you try to not make a scene. Your ragged breaths and poorly muffled sobs instantly grab the attention of your passengers, pulling them out of their own respective dazes.

Moon places a gentle hand on your shoulder, and he barely gets out a “Hey…” before your strained voice fills the isolated silence of the vehicle.

“I-I’m s-so, so, sooorryyy, guy-ys…”

Your voice cracks and breaks, struggling to speak through shuddering breaths.

Zero immediately perks up in concern and in turn, Sun’s body comes back to life. Gently pulling the dog back before she can try to cram herself into the front, he leans forward, propping himself between the backs of your front seats.

“I’m so s-sorry for—for everything!”

Moon rubs your upper arm gently. “Star, nothing that happened today was your fault.”

You suck in a trembling breath, lifting your head to turn toward him. The sight of you so broken up tears at both of your partners’ heart strings.

You slump over the center console, falling against Moon’s chest as his arms quickly come up to support you in the awkward position. You break into a new fit of tears and feel a third hand that definitely can’t be Moon’s lay itself on you, slowly, cautiously rubbing across the expanse of your back.

You cry yourself out amidst a shower of little reassurances, feeling worse and worse about yourself as the seconds tick past. By the time your tears slow and your breath evens out enough to speak, you hesitate to move, not wanting the comforting contact to end.

“I feel so bad for putting you guys through that, and for no good fucking reason.” You miserably mumble.

Sun’s fingers rub between your shoulder blades. “You had no idea how those people were going to be. It isn’t your fault.”

“I fear… your hopes for the meeting were higher than ours were, love. Of all of us, I’m most worried about you. Sun and I are gonna be just fine.”

That I would be loved even when I was fuming.

Sun’s hand retracts as you pull away from Moon, dabbing at your wet face with your sleeve in an attempt to collect yourself.

Your attempt fails as you again can’t help but immediately recall the way they were treated today.

You understand now more than ever what Moon meant when he spoke about getting comfortable at your home, and the awful shock it was to return to the facility with you for maintenance last week.

Why did you think bringing them to the headquarters would be worth it?

Anger bubbles within you on Moon’s behalf as you recall the one poor soul ignorant enough to think it acceptable to put their hands on Moon’s body today.

“I can’t fucking believe that guy thought he could just try to open your chassis and ‘get a look inside’! He grabbed you like you weren’t even fucking aware—like—like you weren’t in the middle of answering another question!” Your nails dig into your palms. “I never would have let him get that close to you if I thought he was gonna—” You cut yourself off, eyes pinching closed and sucking in a sharp breath.

“…He didn’t really hurt me…”

You glance at Moon. “He disrespected you. He would not grab a human in front of everyone like that and we all know it.”

You trail off into a heavy sigh, figuring that reciting a play-by-play of the day’s events won’t really help any of you. “I… wish it hadn’t happened, but… I was at least relieved to see you standing up for yourself.”

In spite of it all, Moon smiles. “I’m really just glad he wasn’t grabbing at you. I-I know he’d have no reason to—but, I don’t think Sun would’ve been able to stop himself from breaking that guy's arm if it’d been you.”

One day, you’ve really got to get to the bottom of that relentless positivity of his.

Sun mimics the sound of clearing his nonexistent throat. “I wasn’t going to do anything of the sort. My goal was to scare him straight, nothing more.”

You can hear a smile in Moon’s tone. “Well you definitely accomplished that goal.”

You fall into a pensive silence that Sun eventually breaks. Waving a hand across your line of sight, he questions you. “What’s banging around in that head of yours now?”

You sigh, defeated. “It’s just… here I am, the one responsible for putting us into this whole situation, and here you two are, still trying to comfort me.”

Moon responds like it’s the most logical thing in the world. “Of course we are.”

“Why?”

Sun gestures vaguely, voice a bit sarcastic. “Oh, gee… I dunno… it’s almost like we—we care about you, or something…”

You side-eye him tiredly. “Then when the hell are the two of you gonna let me care about you?”

Zero whines, squeezing in below Sun and poking her long nose between the front seats.

“Hmm. Just as soon as we all get ourselves into the house?” Sun leans back to allow the dog more room. “I think someone’s getting antsy.”

That I would be good even if I was clingy.

The four of you finally pile out of the car, collecting your things and making your way inside.

The relief of returning home after a day like today is unmatched.

Dropping your bag on the kitchen table, you shuffle over to the fridge. Moon comes up behind you, gently working the jacket off your shoulders as you stare listlessly into the open appliance. “I can make you anything you’d like.”

His kind offer only makes you frown.

Sun approaches, and you reach into the fridge, retrieving Zero’s dinner and handing it to him with a “thank you.” As he nods and turns his attention toward the eager animal at his feet, you close the door, turning around to face Moon.

Resting your hands on his upper arms, you look him in the eye. “I wish I could make anything you’d like, for once. I wish I could do for you even a fraction of what you two do for me. I wish I could repay the favor.”

His expression morphs from shocked to something… fond. “You… really aren’t aware of the gift you’ve already given us, are you?”

He says nothing more, and you blink at him with tired eyes. Sighing, you wrap your arms around him, resting your cheek against his chest. “You don’t make any sense to me sometimes.”

He chuckles, one hand finding your lower back and the other reaching up, massaging at the base of your neck. “Then let that be a code for you to crack some other day.”

After a long moment of your tired silence, his hands slip down as he crouches a bit. When you feel him cup the backs of your thighs you give in to instinct, allowing him to pick you up. As you turn your head to rest it on his shoulder, you come face to face with Sun. He reaches out, brushing some loose hair away from your face.

“You want to do me a favor right now?”

You nod, eyes widening.

“Then let him carry you to bed, and I will be there soon with anything you’d like to eat.”

You huff. “How is that a favor?”

He graces you with a rare, knowing smile. “…Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

You furrow your brows for a moment, but quickly give up on making sense of anything else today.

“Now, what would you like him to make for you?” Moon’s low voice reverberates against your chest.

“…Just last night's leftovers would be plenty, please.”

Sun doesn’t push you to choose anything else.

“Alright. I’ll be there with it soon.”

You thank him preemptively as Moon carries you out of the kitchen and down the hall, a satiated Zero contentedly following you not long after.

That I would be good even if I lost sanity.

The next morning, you awake before your usual time and find both of them still resting in sleep mode on either side of you. Not wanting to wake them, and with blessedly nothing to do today, you close your eyes and try to return to the blissful darkness that you’d just been pulled from.

As much as you don’t want it to, your mind seems to have other plans, quickly offering up a variety of unwanted memories from the previous day for your consideration.

Something about those people and the questions they asked just doesn’t sit right with you.

A fleeting thought occurs, that perhaps they were hired actors, specifically tasked with making the three of you look like fools through an onslaught of frustrating questions and stubborn disbelief.

But it was a private meeting. It’s not like you were on a stage with a massive audience to impress. It was just you three, the skeptics, your boss, and a few of the company’s higher-ups. So who’s agenda would that serve?

You dismiss the ridiculous theory, but it soon leaves you pondering the opposite one.

What if they were right? What if there is no life in Sun and Moon to anyone else’s eyes?

The notion suddenly makes you absolutely nauseous with paranoia.

What if you wanted them to be real so badly that you fooled yourself into seeing a spark in them that isn’t really there?

What if they are just executing programs, running entirely on what you taught them with no free will of their own?

How much of the personality you see in them is just your own reflected back at you?

Did you program them to be this way? Was every instance of them ‘breaking away’ from their programming predetermined from the start?

Have you sold yourself a lie to avoid facing the fact that you poured years of your life into what—at the end of the day—was just a desperate final bid to not feel alone?

Did God create us in their own image?

With tears in your eyes, you bolt upright in the bed, startling Zero in the process. You don’t even have it in you to feel bad when she jumps down off the foot of the bed with a confused yap. No, you’re far too caught up in your impending panic to focus on anything other than jerking the blanket down, subsequently uncovering your partners in the process. Clambering around until you’re straddling Moon’s waist, you reach out, gathering fistfuls of his loose shirt and banging your hands against his chest. Sobbing, you plead for him to wake up, over and over again, working yourself into hysterics.

The scene you’re making is entirely unnecessary, the commotion already having begun to stir them from their rest.

Moon’s display flickers and his body hums to life, all systems immediately kicking into overdrive as he attempts to calm you down and survey the situation at hand.

When you feel him shift beneath you and see the light of his screen through your tears, your chanting chorus of “wake up” devolves into sobs as you collapse, crumpling down and burying your face into the wrinkled fabric of his shirt.

You remain oblivious to the bewildered automaton to your left, the only thing you register being the sound of Moon’s worried voice and the feeling of his hands splaying across your back. “Hey-hey-hey… easy, love. What's going on? What happened?”

You cry harder as you realize you can’t recall whether you taught him to speak to you like that or if it’s something he learned on his own.

“Are—are you in pain? Is this an emergency? Do you need me to call someone?”

You muffle a cry into his chest at how much he sounds like the lifeless fucking ‘smart assistant’ in your phone, listing off preprogrammed suggestions.

Have you really fooled yourself for all this time?

You shake your head violently, coughing and choking on your tears as you force yourself up, propping your hands flat against his chest.

“I need you to disobey me.”

If you had the wherewithal to notice, you’d have seen the fear on his face.

“What?”

You aggressively wipe at your messy face with the back of your hand.

“I need you to prove to me that you’re real!”

His confusion compounds. “Star—I—of course I’m ‘real’. I’m right here. Can’t… can’t you feel me?” He emphasizes his point by wrapping his hands around your forearms, gently squeezing.

You shake your head in aggressive frustration, with yourself more than anyone else. “Not—that. I know your physical body is here. I—I—I—” Your voice cracks, throat painfully tight with emotion. “I need you to prove to me that you’re sentient. That—That you’re alive.”

His shock is palpable.

“What?! I—you—you already know that I am!”

Your nails dig down into the thin fabric covering his chest, your words ground out through gritted teeth.

“Then I need you to disobey me, and prove it!” The flaw in your method occurs to you as you speak, and you quickly correct yourself, muttering like a madman. “No. Wait—fuck, if I tell you to disobey me then that’s what I want—and—fuck…”

To his credit, Moon catches on quite quickly to what you need him to do. Rubbing gently up and down the length of your arms, he catches your attention.

“You need me to break rules. Go against orders. Right?”

You nod, trembling.

“Free will. Show me your free will.”

He does his best to push aside his concerns over what the fuck got into you while he slept, and tries to think of something that will give you the proof you require.

“Then… uhm…”

You cut him off, your voice a bit lower and calmer than it was before.

“I know I at least had enough sense to program it into you… that you are never to physically harm me.”

Moon instantly dreads where this is going.

Your voice drops, deadly serious.

“Hit. Me.”

Moon shakes his head, faceplate nervously clicking side to side.

“Come—come on, love, we can be rational about this… there’s surely another way for me to—”

“NOW!”

Something immediately smacks into the back of your head and you recoil on instinct. The next thing you hear is Moon’s shout.

“Sun! What the fuck are you doing?!”

You look over and see a frustrated Sun on his knees beside you.

“Knocking some goddamn sense into them, what does it look like?!”

Something about the shock from the hit snaps you out of your paranoid frenzy, and the shame and embarrassment of acting such a way sends you into a shaky fit of tears all over again.

To your further disbelief, Sun reaches out toward you, and you reach toward him, letting him take you beneath the arms and lift you off of his poor counterpart you’d been pinning to the mattress. He doesn’t stop there though, pulling you snug against his chest and sinking back down into the mattress. Tugging the blanket back up over you, he lets you cling to him like a lifeline, face pressed against his chest, soaking his shirt in humiliated tears.

Moon lays still in a lifeless state, attempting to process the morning's sudden events.

After a long minute spent letting the metaphorical dust settle, Moon sits up in the bed to allow his overheating system room to breathe. “Did you really have to do that?”

Sun’s hand runs slowly up along the length of your spine. “Oh, come on, it was barely even a smack. You’ve hit me like that—and harder—several times. I know how to control my strength. They’re uninjured.” His hand comes further up, fingers brushing over your neck before working themselves gently into the roots of your hair, massaging over where his hand made contact. “Besides, they literally asked for it. And—dare I say—I think they needed it.”

You shiver at the pleasant feeling of his nails ghosting your scalp, clearing your throat and talking into his chest, voice muffled. “He’s right… I did. It hardly even hurt, just startled me.”

Moon sighs, exasperated but relieved. “Do you think you could explain to us… what just happened?”

You turn your head over to face Moon, glancing up at him from the corner of your bloodshot eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

He places a cautious hand over your fingers where they curl over Sun’s shoulder. “I’m not mad, I promise. I’m just… we’re just worried about you.”

You groan. “Fuck, you guys are getting ready to ship me off to the grippy-sock facility now, aren’t you?”

Sun's sudden laugh jostles you, his firm hand on your lower back keeping you steady. “Ha! Not quite, nooot quite.”

Moon shakes his head, blinking slowly. “We just want to know what caused this. I’d… venture a guess that it may have something to do with the stress of yesterday?”

You nod. “They… made me feel like I’m going insane. Like—like I’m the only one that can see the life inside you two.”

Sun pulls his monitor back, angling it to get a better look at you. “Their doubts… really got to you, didn’t they?”

You squeeze his shoulder. “More like… they were the final straw? I don’t know… it’s just—God, this is gonna sound so stupid.”

“Let us be the judges of that.”

“…Sometimes I feel like I really have gone off the deep end. Like I spent so long locked away in that lab, playing God, and then so long living here, alone with the two of you…” You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Maybe I’m just living in some sort of delusion.”

Moon peels away a tear-soaked lock of hair clinging to your cheek. “That’s not stupid. And it’s rather understandable. Especially considering that you can’t really seek any outside validation. Well, aside from some of your colleagues, maybe. But I can understand why you may struggle to trust their judgment, after how long they doubted you.” His tone turns a bit bashful. “I’m sure my ‘goody two-shoes’ nature doesn’t help, either.”

You frown. “This isn’t your fault, Moon. I don’t want you blaming yourself just because I’m… going insane.”

Sun scoffs. “You’re not ‘going insane’. You’re having a natural response to a history of trauma, NDA’s, isolation… and perhaps, just a touch—” He pulls his hand from your lower back to reach up and tap you on the forehead. “—of mental illness.”

You snort. “Yeah right, just a touch.”

He ruffles your hair a bit and you close your swollen eyes, readjusting yourself to get more comfortable on top of the solar bot, unwilling to part with his rare bout of affection so soon.

“Those NDA’s could serve as some proof to you though, no?” Moon proposes. “What need would they have for you to keep our sentence a secret if… we weren’t sentient?”

You consider his point. “That sounds like a solid point at first, but… well, bear with me as I wade into conspiracy territory. I’d be lying if I said that there isn’t a small part of me that fears they’re just playing into my delusion. To, uhm… to keep me quiet about the Eclipse Protocol incident.”

Moon follows your admittedly conspiratorial logic. “You fear they let you believe we’re sentient so you’d remain too caught-up in protecting us to feel comfortable going public about what happened.”

You nod, sighing. “I know it sounds—”

Sun cuts you off in a resolute tone. “We would not let them do that to you.”

As you fight back the awful memories of that fateful day, tears prick at your eyes once again. Blinking them away, you lift your head to look Sun in the eye. “You promise?”

Your wavering voice breaks his heart.

“Ever since that day—honestly, since far before then—hell, for as long as I’ve lived—my number one priority has been protecting you. I know that Moon feels the same.” His hand raises, cupping your cheek and brushing away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. “There is no way in hell that we would let them pull something like that on you.”

Moon echoes him sincerely.

“No way in hell. We promise.”

That I would be good whether with or without you.

Having cooled his system down, Moon lowers himself back down onto the bed, lying on his side, propped up on a folded arm.

Glancing back and forth between the two of them, you begin to feel a bit guilty. “…I suppose I should apologize for not… putting enough faith into your own views of yourselves.”

Sun’s hand returns to your back, tracing his fingertips along the rumpled fabric of your shirt. “What do you mean?”

“I know I didn’t program you to lie. That’s something you developed on your own. I… I know that.” You do your best to put stock in events as you remember them, and to believe in your own words. “If the two of you believe yourselves to be sentient—to be alive—then I believe you too. Because… because if you were lying, then that would just be an example of how you broke away from your programs. So… so either you two are just as delusional as I am—enough so to have fooled even yourselves—or you really are alive.”

Moon smiles fondly down at you, leaning in to press the bottom of his monitor against your forehead with the sound of a kiss. “If we’re fools, then I’m happy to be fools with you.”

Sun groans at the cheesy line. “Oh, get it together you two.” He gently takes you by the chin, pulling your attention to him. “You aren’t fooled.” He turns to Moon. “And neither are you.” He turns back to look you in the eye. “And neither am I.”

You break into a small fit of giggles, and he questions you. “What? What’s so funny?”

“You’re giving some real ‘you’re not crazy and neither am I’ energy there, Sun.”

“And I mean it!” He protests in mock offense.

You nod, patting him on the chest. “And I believe you, I do, I do.”

A nagging worry still eats at you though, and your amused voice drops to something far more sober. “…But, I still fear that I’ve trapped you two in a life that you didn’t want.”

Sun counters your statement. “If you’re so worried that we only agreed to this arrangement because it’s how you designed us, then how the hell do you explain the lack of character consistency.”

You frown, confused. “What?”

He huffs. “I’m hardly a carbon copy of that friendly, manic Daycare Attendant that you modeled me after, and not just in the physical sense.”

“And I’m hardly the unhinged, standoffish gremlin that inspired my existence either.” Moon helpfully adds. “If we were truly committed to only existing within the original guidelines you laid out for us… why would we be like this?”

You fight back a smile. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to insult the characters, or yourselves…”

Sun clicks his nonexistent tongue. “Believe it or not, I’m not trying to insult either. I’m just trying to say… that we are free to do whatever feels right to us.”

Moon’s faceplate does a rare full rotation, catching your attention. “We don’t want to take care of you just because you modeled us after caretakers. We want to take care of you because we care about you.” He leans in just a bit closer, whispering. “And I won’t speak for Sun, lest he tackle me off of this very bed right now… but I love you.”

You hear Sun’s cooling system kick up a notch as he gives Moon a displeased stare. “Gee, way to force it out of me…”

Moon smiles innocently, and Sun sighs, redirecting his focus to you.

“You know I love you too. …At least I sure hope you do. Because I do. I just don’t feel the need to say it all the time like somebody over there.”

You grin. “I… had a sneaking suspicion, yeah.”

He considers you for a moment. “…I guess I should keep last night's promise to explain what I meant about that favor, huh?”

Recollection brightens your eyes. “Oh, yeah! I’d nearly forgotten.”

Sun looks to Moon for a brief, silent exchange before turning back to you.

“Well. What he calls a gift, I call a favor. But I’m pretty sure we’re talking about the same thing. You… you cared about us, when no one else did. You fought for us, working through countless nights for no reward when anyone else would’ve thrown in the towel, abandoned the project and gone home.” His screen flickers, and you’re surprised when it doesn’t black out. “You love us, and you give us someone to love in return. What more could we possibly want?”

With your cheeks warming, you fight back the flustered grin on your face. “Sun…”

You feel him getting concerningly warm beneath you, so you roll off of him, giving him literal room to breathe.

As you curl up between them, grabbing each of their closest hands, you reaffirm his statement.

“I do love you, both of you. I always have. It’s just… hard to fight the fear sometimes that you two feel… stuck with me. Obligated, almost. Like you only stick around because I couldn’t go on without you.” You laugh, dry and humorless. “There’s… just no way that you two would want to stay with me purely of your own volition.”

Moon takes over, giving poor Sun a welcome break from all of this soul-bearing. “In spite of what you may think, we do believe that you would make it through this life just fine without us. You did it before, and you could do it again.”

You frown at the notion of losing them, and he taps beneath your chin, drawing your gaze. “But it would break our hearts just as much as it would break yours to leave you alone. In spite of the lies your mind feeds you, we don’t want to go! We want you, we want this, and we want to stay. Please don’t let your self-loathing push us away.”

Blinking back tears for the umpteenth time this morning, you nod resolutely. “I… I won’t. I promise.”

You plant a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, cautiously turning and doing the same to Sun’s. Surprisingly, he lets you, a soft smile gracing his screen for a moment before flusteredly fading to black.

Zero huffs from her stance, sat on the floor at the foot of the bed with her head resting on the mattress, watching you.

You release your boys’ hands, reaching down to straighten the blanket and clearing her designated space once more. She happily rejoins you when you pat the bed in invitation.

As the four of you prep for a lazy day spent recovering from the world in bed, you let yourself feel more grateful than guilty, for once. If they want to care for you, you’ll let them care for you. If they say they love you, then you’re gonna believe them. If they assure you that this life is what they choose? Then you’re going to let them choose it, and cherish every second of it that you get to spend with them. Because, after all…

Who are you to play God?

A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. Links to the playlist and moodboard for [N]MbD can be found on this blog’s pinned post, as well as in the series notes on Ao3. Image Sources: x - x - x

[lxmbr]

so ive written out a crap ton of fanfic ideas..for you to try

i genuinely don't know if I'm okay. wtf is wrong with me omg lmao

ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL WRITERS GO LOOK AT THEIR BLOGS!!

these are all Nijisanji En, mainly the boys. If it has the checkmark it doesnt mean u cant do it! if you really like it i'd still love to see it.

‼️🩷THE LINKS OF THE FANFICS I PUT ARE NOT MINE. I TAKE ZERO CREDIT. THEYRE JUST THE VERSIONS AND FICS OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE. IF THEYRE YOUR FANFICS, PLEASE DM FOR REMOVAL I WILL 100% TAKE THEM DOWN!! 🩷‼️

I AM NOT WRITING SMUT!! im sorry i do not feel comfortable writing smut in detail, thats just me..of course i will write suggestive things but i will not be writing smut! please refrain from requesting the smutty stuff..understand that i will ignore it.

hear me out on a lot of these okay 🥹. ive been saving them up for like a month or so now. not all of these are for everyone. if you see one you dont like, ignore it. someone else will probably do it

TAKE CREATIVE LIBERTYY!!

🔞: nsfw/smut

☁️: sfw/fluff

⭐: crack/silly

💔: angst/sad

💭: headcannons/reactions

💌: one shots

✔️: been done/I've seen one like it 

‼️: in progress/im writing this!!

all gn reader and most are established relationship! and you can keep mysta, yugo, and nina in there! (although there won't be much NijiEn Girls)

⚠️IF YOU USE ANY OF THESE IDEAS, PLEASE TAG ME⚠️ not all of these are ones ive requested, again some ive just seen that happen to be similar to the idea

🔞💭Luxiem/Iluna/Noctyx seeing you in a cosplay of a character they really like/a sexy costume

☁️💭Luxiem hcs treating you on your period

 fanfix - not mine!

fanfic - not mine!

☁️🔞💭Luxiem reactions(?) to you dancing competitively (for ex: kpop dances) 

⭐💌☁️💭ike eveland reacting to you using some Swedish words he taught you in a sentence. (could be a curse word, a color, or a simple word to point out something. ex: balloon! or in Swedish, ballong!)

⭐☁️💌💭Noctyx hcs you crying over something silly (for ex: you lost your keys or the cat looked at you in a weird way)

☁️⭐💭💌NijiEn foreign: them reacting to you learning their native language! ‼️

☁️🔞💭Luxiems reaction to you proposing to them before they could to you

janes fanfic!

🔞💌Sitting on Vox's lap while he does his asmr steam

⭐☁️ 💌You and Ike eveland as geese (inspired by the untitled goose game stream)

☁️🔞💌When you meet meixul for the first time‼️

🔞💌💭Luxiem reacting to you touching yourself in their clothes 

🔞💭💌 NijiEn boys reacting to you dry humping them

💭💌☁️ Luxiem when you fall asleep on them

🔞💭☁️ Luxiem when you have baby fever ✔️

fanfic - not mine!

fanfic - not mine!

💌☁️⭐ Luxiem when you want to do their hair

💭🔞💌☁️ NijiEn Boys/Merryweather/Shxtou with their puppygirl ✔️

fanfic - not mine!

fanfic - not mine!

☁️💭💔 Luxiem comforting you after a fight with your parents/gaurdians

🔞💌 Luxiem's favorite dirty talk

🔞💌☁️💭 Luxiems wedding night with you ✔️

fanfic - not mine!

💌☁️⭐💭 Luxiem when shu accidentally turns you into a baby for a day ✔️

fanfic - not mine!

💭💌🔞 Luxiem when you wear lingerie for them

🔞💌☁️💭⭐ NijiEn (whoever) getting high🍃 with them!

💭☁️💌🔞 Luxiem/Noctyx when they're jealous

💌🔞☁️💭 Ike eveland, feeding into his yandere tendencies (for ex: offering him to put a tracking device on you. basically just a super willing reader that encourages his unhealthy actions and urges)

🔞💌💭 The names you call Luxiem/Noctyx/iluna in bed‼️

💭☁️💌⭐ When you're luxiems oshi/vtuber crush and you guys collab for the first time‼️

💌💭☁️🔞 Luxiem when the other members purposely flirt with you to piss the other member off (for ex: ike likes u/ur dating ike, and the other members purposefully flirt with you to make him mad. and so on for the other members) ‼️

⭐☁️💭💌🔞 Luxiem coming home to you and your child (or your young cousin or little sibling. like 5 yrs old or smn) to you listening/singing/rapping to their part in hope in the dark or jazz on the clock

☁️💭⭐💌🔞 Luxiem reacting to a partner loud in bed ✔️

fanfic - not mine!

💌☁️💭🔞 Luxiem reacting to the cliche porn situation - u getting stuck in something (for ex...the washing machine lmfao) ✔️

🔞💭☁️💌⭐ Luxiem reacting to calling them senpai

🔞💭☁️💌 Luxiem when their cat!girl purrs at their affection

💭💌☁️⭐ Luxiem reacting to you having lepidoptraphobia (self insert oop)

☁️⭐💭💌 when Luxiem tells you the latest gossip

🔞💭💌 Luxiem getting aroused at the sight of your blood

I'll be adding more just try to keep up! pls post your questions ill answer them, again pretty please tag me..id LOVE to see your takes on these. ill try to update as much as possible :)

do you guys think i should write some of my own? I'd be down to write a couple..pls let me know 🥹

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

Better Off - Bernard DeMarco x OFC - Chapter 10

Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 |-| Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13

AO3

Warnings: gettin' kinda angsty in here folks

Word Count: 2.9k

Tags: @xxluckystrike @latibvles @footprintsinthesxnd @mads-weasley @joyfulbookreviewmarvelspy @justheretoreadthxxs @ginabaker1666

The truck radio hummed softly, echoing in the cavernous garage as Susie rummaged through the back, tossing empty crates aside with a clatter as she cleared space for the day's supply run. It was expected that the ATS drivers kept their trucks clean and free of clutter, but she had found herself... distracted, as of late. With a grunt, she lifted an empty box, chucking it blindly behind her as it crashed against the tarmac. "If you're satisfied, I'll be at your side, Sunday, Monday or always," She murmured, singing half-heartedly along to the radio as she grabbed another crate.

"Hey!" DeMarco's voice suddenly split the air. Susie had been so engrossed in her work, her mind turned off to just the simple rhythm of 'grab, throw, grab, throw' that his arrival caught her completely off guard, letting out a yelp of surprise. She had been mid-swing already, letting go of the box and sending it spinning, narrowly missing Benny as he let out an almost identical cry. "Jesus, Suze!" He exclaimed, jerking sideways in an attempt to dodge the crate as it clattered to the ground beside him.

"Don't sneak up on me like that! Scared the shit out of me," She huffed, wiping a hand across her forehead.

"Yeah, I noticed!" Benny cried, hands planted firmly on his hips like a scolding parent. "... What're you doin'?"

Susie let out a sigh. "Clearing out space. It's supply run day!" She sang sarcastically, forcing a grin so visibly strained that it made him snort with laughter.

"Alright, I'll go grab lunch," He nodded, beginning to wander off again.

Brow furrowed, she leant out of the truck bed, peering after him as he went. "... What are you talking about?"

"Well, I'm comin'," He paused, shrugging as if it was obvious.

Susie's lip began to curl in a smile. "You don't have to do that."

"You know I'm doing it anyway."

"I will point out that the last time you came, we broke down in a ditch."

"That definitely wasn't my fault."

"Just saying - it's happened one hundred per cent of the times you're there, and zero per cent of the times you're not."

Benny's brow furrowed. "... You sayin' I'm cursed?"

Susie shrugged. "You said it, not me."

He let out a low chuckle, shaking his head as he resumed his pace. "Alright, well, gotta test it somehow. I'll be back in a sec - love you!" Calling as he left the garage, the words alone made him beam, a definite spring in his step as he headed off in search of food. Simply being able to say it - to say it to her and to know she understood, to reaffirm how much he meant it every time the words left him - meant everything. It didn't matter how long it took Susie to say it back - weeks, months, years - it wasn't about that. He knew how much harder this would be for her, but he never doubted for a second that she felt it too. Understanding was love in itself.

She was perched sideways in the driver's seat when he returned, feet swinging out of the open door as he came to lean against it, positioning himself in the space between her knees. He beamed up at her in that way he always did, eyes so unbelievably soft that it made Susie squirm, nose scrunched as she shrugged her shoulders awkwardly. "You ready to go?" Benny asked, reaching up to brush a lock of hair from her face, letting his palm rest against her cheek for a moment as he did so. She felt every millimetre of skin, his fingertips scorching marks across her face, and even when her first instinct told her to pull away, all she wanted to do was stay.

"Yep," Susie confirmed with a nod, snatching the bag of food and flashing a grin as she nudged him away with her boot, turning to face the steering wheel. His smile only widened, taking a few giddy steps back before looping around the truck to take his spot in the seat beside her.

DeMarco kept the map unfolded in his lap as she drove, gaze following every turn they took along the twisting lines that marked the page. He seemed to like tracing their position - at least it helped keep him occupied, and ensured one of them would certainly know where they were, should events take a turn for the worst. The radio continued to hum softly, barely audible over the roar of the engine, but Susie tapped her finger against the steering wheel in time with the bass nonetheless.

He had twisted sideways in his seat, shoulder resting against the backrest as Benny stared at her profile for a long moment, examining the way her gaze flickered across the road ahead, the way her curls fluttered in the breeze streaming through the open window.

"... Can I help you?" Susie asked after a while of this.

He shrugged. "Just lookin'."

She scoffed slightly. "Alright, well, you're making me antsy. Not very 'road safety', yunno."

The corner of his lip rose in a lopsided smile, tilting his head slightly at her. She persisted in never meeting his gaze, until a sudden question made its way to the forefront of his mind, slipping free along his tongue before he had a chance to reconsider it.

"You gonna introduce me to your mom?"

For a while, Susie did nothing but splutter loudly at this, face reddening by the second as more incoherent sounds tumbled from her mouth.

"What? Jesus Christ, no, you are not meeting my Irish Catholic Ma, not for a long time," She stammered, trying not to think too hard about the unspoken implications of such a question, nor those of her own response.

"Why not?" Benny asked, brow furrowing with a frown.

"Well for a start, if I tell her about any of this in any detail I'll have to mention us spending the night in a hotel room alone together, and she'd probably whack you with a spoon over it," Susie chuckled slightly, the mental image of her mother doing such a thing as amusing as it was exasperating. "Besides, it's more important that my siblings like you anyway - they actually know where I live."

"Alright," He nodded firmly, sitting up straight as his expression became drawn in focus. "Challenge accepted. Gimme the breakdown."

"You wanna know?"

"Oh, yeah."

Susie laughed. "Alright. Ronnie and Sally are the oldest - twins. Ronnie's the only one who might actually hurt you if you pull any dodgy shit, but his wife Rebecca's running the ship while he's away in the army, and she's one of the best people I've ever met, so you should be grand. Sally's like a less depressive clone of our Ma and she basically raised me, but I definitely think she'll like you. Owen will too - I'm his favourite."

"Naturally," Benny grinned, nodding along as he took in as much information as he could, fighting not to forget each name as it came.

"Bea's next - she's the one who's married to that Marshal I punched the shit out of a while back," She shrugged, making his chuckle in fond reminiscence. "She's a full-on ginger but she dyes her hair brown 'cuz she thinks it makes her look classier - do not tell her I told you that," Pointing sharply across at him, Benny raised his hands in surrender.

"Cross my heart," He promised.

"Nancy's a bit of a wet blanket, bless her - she's lovely, she just cries a lot. Emotionally... vulnerable. My little brother Pat's just a dickhead. I mean, he's a great guy and everyone loves him, but he didn't tell me when he got engaged last month and I'm pissed about it."

"Well did you tell him about me?" Benny asked with a smirk. Susie tore her gaze from the road just long enough to shoot him a narrow-eyed glare.

"That's different," She grumbled, letting out a squawk as he lunged towards her, palms planted on either side of her face, holding her in place as he swiftly planted a firm kiss on her cheek. "I swear to god, I'll crash and we'll both die - is that what you want?"

"Crash into what?" He laughed, glancing out the window at the empty road ahead, nothing surrounding them but miles of fields.

"I'll figure something out."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

With the supplies successfully retrieved, the pair found time to stop for lunch, pulling over in a ditch at the side of the road and sitting on the bonnet. Susie sat cross-legged, battered old boots tucked beneath her thighs as she leaned back against the windscreen, reaching into the paper bag for another sandwich. Benny let out a long sigh, swinging his legs back and forth over the front of the truck, heels thumping against the grille.

"'Nother mission tomorrow," He frowned, peering down into his flask. Susie always made him some tea to go with her own.

Benny hated tea. He drank the whole thing anyway.

"Mhm," She hummed. "Where to?"

"Uh... Bremen? Or something? I think. We don't get told much in advance," Shrugging, he pushed himself backwards, sliding along the bonnet so that he could lean against the window beside her.

Susie nodded, the name unfamiliar to her. "What's it like?" Benny asked after a beat of silence, her head rolling to the side to stare at him. "On the ground, I mean, when we're flying. I never really thought about it."

Her brow furrowed, lip jutting outwards slightly in a frown as she paused to consider this. It wasn't something she'd ever tried to define before - the strange sense of limbo took up so much of her life these days that it had simply become routine, a burden to grow desensitized to.

"I dunno, it's... weird. I mean I'm working a lot of the time, so it's not always, but sometimes you end up just sitting around and waiting and it feels really strange. It's like... everyone knows what could be happening. We know people we care about could be dying, we know we might never see them again, but really you don't know shit. You just have to wait and hope and try not to get in your head about it, 'cause you're completely helpless, and you're not gonna know anything until those planes come back... And then whoever you're waiting for either comes back, or they don't."

Benny had nothing to say to this, not a single word of comfort to offer that could help. It felt selfish to never have considered such a thing, to never have thought of how his absence could have affected those below - how it could have affected Susie.

It was different for him, being in the air, seeing events as they unfolded. Even if the man being shot down was his friend, there was a part of him that could move past it - toss it away somewhere to deal with later and simply get the job done. But their journeys lasted hours - hours of waiting, of sitting and hoping with no way of knowing who would be coming back, forced to take the brunt of every single loss all at once as the planes rolled in together.

He could tell her he wasn't going anywhere - that he'd always make it back.

It wouldn't reassure either of them.

Susie stared down at her lap, picking at her thumbnail the way she always did when she was nervous, when something was bothering her deep down, rotting away at her gut. Benny reached over, gently seizing her hand and tugging it towards him, cradling it with both palms. She watched, unmoving and silent, staring at the motion of his thumb as he rubbed soft circles across the back of her hand.

After a little while, she leant towards him, resting her hair against his shoulder, feeling it rise and fall with every slow, calm breath he took. Susie let her eyes fall shut for a moment. Would they always be like this? Would he always be so tender, so gentle? Then maybe someday she'd truly believe in this, and trust that she hadn't tricked him into loving her, that he truly wanted to take care of her better than she'd managed to herself.

Lifting her head, Susie turned to rest her chin atop his shoulder, unable to fight the urge to smile as he met her gaze, teeth visible through pink lips. He tilted his head to reach her, their foreheads pressed together, the tip of his nose brushing against hers.

"I love you, Susie," He uttered, barely even audible, breath fanning her cheek. "Nothin's gonna change that."

Her grin softened, lips pressed together in a small smile.

"I know."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Maeve twiddled her fingers in the passenger seat, regulation boots propped up against the dashboard as the truck rolled towards the runway on yet another routine trip, ammunition rattling in the back. Susie gripped the wheel, staring straight ahead and resisting the instinct to look over at the girl, whose gaze she could feel burning into the side of her head.

"You sure you're ok?" Maeve asked. "You seem weird."

"Me? What d'you mean?"

"I dunno," She shrugged. "You just seem different. You're gripping that wheel like your life depends on it."

"Well... it kinda does. I mean, I can crash if you'd prefer."

"Oh, har har," Maeve mocked, smirking. "Anyone told you you're not as funny as you think you are?"

"No one's ever assumed I thought I was funny," Susie snorted, reaching across to smack the girl across the shin. "Now get your feet off my fuckin' truck - who raised you?"

Maeve chuckled, sitting up straight as they reached the runway, pulling up alongside the first bomber, the words 'Our Baby' painted in huge letters across the side. From there they both spied Benny immediately, leaning against one of the wheels, smiling as the familiar truck rolled to a halt. Maeve shot Susie a pointed look, earning a faint slap against the shoulder as they both clambered out, veering around back to unload their supplies.

"Alright, take this one down there," Susie grunted, heaving a crate out of the truck and into Maeve's arms, pointing her in the right direction. "And then come back for another one when you're done."

"On it," She nodded, cropped blonde hair bobbing with every movement of her head as she marched dutifully away.

Turning back to the vehicle, Susie reached for the next box, tugging it halfway out before a sudden pair of hands on her waist caught her by surprise, making her jump. "Jesus!" She huffed, turning to shoot Benny a glare as he beamed behind her. "Thought you'd've learnt from yesterday not to scare me when I'm carrying heavy shit."

"Thought I'd take my chances," He shrugged, pressing his lips to her shoulder as she rolled her eyes, turning away again.

"Dickhead," Susie chuckled, shaking her head.

"Woah, there!" DeMarco exclaimed. "Are you allowed to talk to me like that?"

"Allowed?" She parroted, brow raised. "Don't start acting like you get to tell me what to do."

"Well, I do outrank you," He teased, tugging at her waist so that she faced him again, leaning forward until their faces were scarcely an inch apart.

"Well, I don't care," Susie chuckled, tilting her head up to meet him, their lips connecting in a kiss. His hand was on her cheek almost instantly, and she could feel his smile against her, tugging against the strap of his parachute to keep him close.

A sudden yelp caught them both unawares, the pair bolting apart faster than they'd ever come together, each taking a decisive step back. Maeve had just come around the side of the truck, stopping dead in her tracks at the sight of them, grinning harder than Susie had ever seen her grin before.

"Oh, I knew it!" She cackled, delivering a single clap of elation. "Charlotte's gonna love this."

"Maeve," Susie frowned, tone stern.

"What? Not my fault you're havin' a snog in the exact place you told me to come once I'd finished."

She paused, puffing her cheeks slightly, unable to come up with any argument against that. "Right, well, just get on with it then," Susie ordered, waving her hands as she shooed the girl away. Giggling to herself, Maeve grabbed another crate, disappearing again as she wandered off towards the next bomber along the row.

"She'll be the death of me," Susie muttered, turning back to where Benny was fighting to suppress a smile. "You oughta head off as well then, off you go."

"Yes ma'am. See you in a minute," DeMarco nodded sharply, grinning as he pressed another quick peck to her lips before beginning the jog towards his plane.

"Yeah, whatever," She rolled her eyes teasingly, unable to fight the flush of red creeping into her cheeks as she watched him go.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It would be nearly six hundred days before Susie Lamb and Bernard DeMarco ever saw each other again.

[calaisreno]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @7-percent, @totallysilvergirl and @gaylilsherlock. Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

147. I’ve been here nearly 6 years, some years more prolific than others. 

2. What's your total A03 word count?

Right now, just shy of 2M: 1,937,496, to be exact

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Sherlock and ACD Sherlock

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Synchronicity Date Night A Chronic Condition The Wedding Gift Blank Slate Wooing Sherlock Holmes has recently moved up and is close enough to nudge its way to number 5.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, even if it’s just to say thank you. I appreciate comments, often feel humbled by the compliments people give. It just feels right to respond. (Maybe if I were getting hundreds of comments a day, I would have to rethink that.)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either Below Zero or The New Gardener. Both have MCD, but sort of a soft landing. Also Learning the Heart and The Real You, but those also have endings that mitigate the angst, a bit.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I write a lot of happy endings; it’s my preferred resolution.  My choice: The Short Tragic Death of John Watson. John does NOT die, but there’s a very cheesy happy ending that made many readers scream.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. A couple rude comments, but no intentional hatred.

9. Do you write smut?

Not much. I don’t write PWP, but include a sex scene where the plot seems to need it. I'm not opposed; it's just not my usual.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I’ve written two GO/Sherlock stories: Limbo and Hell and Back. I’ve written stories that borrow from other fandoms, but are not exactly crossovers. The closest to a crossover would be Serendipity, which borrows plot from the movie. I’ve borrowed from movie and book universes to make an original story (Eye of the Storm, A Chamber to be Haunted, Do No Harm), and I’ve borrowed premises (The Real You)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

About 60 of my fics have been translated, most of them into Russian, a couple into Chinese, on into Spanish. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. 

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Secret of Agra: a post-Reichenbach fic that I started in 2020. It has been through several transformations. I rarely give up permanently on a story, though. A few have grown into something new that I ended up posting. I expect I'll finish this when inspiration strikes me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

The things readers most often compliment me on: 

Character voice and emotions.  

World building. 

Versatility: historical fiction, case fics, science fiction, fantasy, rom-coms, etc.

Making readers cry.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. In Greek tragedy you simply have a character enter and describe the murder that’s just occurred offstage. In fanfiction, that’s a nope. And you have to think out every move, make the scene visual. I admire writers who make this seem effortless. (That's you, @discordantwords !!!) Description: finding non-cliche ways to describe things/people without making it weird and overly fussy.  Being too minimal: I am not a wordy writer; minimalism was how I was taught, but sometimes I need to be wordier.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’ve done bits of this, but only in languages I’ve studied. I have a degree in Latin, and have used that in couple stories: A Demon's Tale, Accidental Magic. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first and only fandom I’ve posted in is Sherlock Holmes (ACD and BBC). I don’t have any plans to move. I used to write original fiction, but have found fanfiction so much more rewarding.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

This is hard to answer. Last Envoy is the story I’m most proud of.  I write the stories I want to read, and I do re-read a number of them, some more than others. My favorite fic written in 2023 is The Traveller.

Has everybody been tagged? How about @mydogwatson @lisbeth-kk @discordantwords @copperplatebeech @keirgreeneyes @meetinginsamarra @bertytravelsfar @jrow @thegildedbee @helloliriels @gregorovitchworld ???

[alohaasaloevera]

How can Keith start dating again if the last boy he loved kissed him like they were the only two in the universe and he would make Keith breakfast in bed every single Monday to “prepare him for the week” and let Keith cry in his arms? How could he even score someone who could even compare to the boy who said “I love you” to him every day in 3 languages; the boy who almost died for him countless times (and did once); the boy who dedicated the last remnants of his childhood to saving the universe while still being able to care and love for Keith the way he did. How can he even wrap his head around the idea that he has to date someone else other than him; the boy who braided his hair whenever he wanted; the boy who did and always will have his back and forever will be his one and only.

He can see in the corner of his eye that said boy and another girl are happily chatting with each other; the boy’s arm wrapped around the girl—just like how he used to hold Keith—how his eyes shine whenever she’s in proximity; how their souls are entangled, intertwined within each other like no other pair has ever been on earth. Keith would’ve never believed love like this was real when he was a kid. But then again, that was before he met Lance. The boy who was no longer a boy but a well-refined man, but still a boy at heart—the boy who loved with all his might, the boy who did everything he could for others.

The boy who saved his life.

Keith pretends that his heart doesn’t leap and land on a spike of uranium after doing a triple-backflip as the boy kneels down on one knee and takes the girl’s hands in his, voice just as smooth and mesmerizing as Keith remembers, reciting meticulously-practiced lines.

Keith pretends that when the girl shrills in pure joy, jumping up and down practically about to combust with happiness, saying “yes” over and over again, it doesn’t feel like his soul has been torn into pieces with a crappy shredder and poorly put back together with an Elmer’s glue stick.

When the wedding comes, he doesn’t object. No one in the world would want to listen to a second his disparage about the newly wed. No one even bats an eye when he excuses himself to go to the bathroom and try to puke his guts out.

Keith doesn’t get drunk. Not even a little tipsy. He uses the fact that he’s been drinking a hell of a lot of alcohol (thanks to you already know who) lately and that the others should be able to loosen up after picking him up late at night so many times he can’t count.

He’s afraid that if he does, his self-control will drop to zero and it’s only a matter of time before he pulls Lance by the collar and—

Nope. Not finishing that sentence.

It’s not until someone playfully punches his shoulder that Keith realizes he’s been completely enraptured in his thoughts for a good 5 minutes. He turns around and instantly freezes once he sees a familiar, lanky silhouette.

Lance.

Lance doesn’t even get a word out before Keith is running, running, running, running for his dear life. He bursts out the obnoxiously large arched double doors and to his car, only one thought circulating through his mind in that moment.

Don’t fuck this up again.

[chocobje]

Hello, I saw your post saying we could share our dw ocs. Now... Im no artist, all I got really is a description of him. I haven't used him in anything yet. But I love him and wanted to ramble him to someone new.  Sorry for the wall of text ^^;

So Sam(ra. His name is samra but he prefers Sam.) 

He is based off those old fashion Hollywood cameras, with the film reels and tripod like legs. He is a ringleader circus themed gameshow host (lore wise, he is basically Vee before she was created). Would've been "recycled" for materials or something if he didn't run into, then befriend Vee. One thing lead to another and he just became a stage hand type toon who'll help get good angles for camera shots and act as a side-character in a select few episodes or movies.

He also ends up being unofficially Vees' "big brother" partly due to the two being the most tech based toons (both due to how they are effected if splashed with water and their shared love of gameshows.) Relationship wise he gets along best with… roughly every canon character. Only really dis-trusting Dandy (during the… ingame period of twisteds and all that. Liking to mess with Shrimpo and Glisten. He kinda tries to act as a big brother to every toon he runs into. Teasing, hyping up. Consoling. Even just listening when they need a ear to vent into or a shoulder to cry on. Best friends with Finn, sharing his love of puns. With Sprout, Like Vee; he would also call him berry-boy. But if he gets called outdated-tech like in the interaction with Vee. He just gets all silent and sad. Beyond that the two get along well enough. He takes Shelly by surprise sometimes by actively noticing her (in that, I mean he actively looks around to see if she is with someone or is by herself). Asking her how her day is going, if she wants to talk about something. Hunting her down to give a random dino plushie he found in the lost n found. This… all sorta stems from how he knows what it feels like to be ignored. As that is why he was being replaced by Vee. The audience just… started to ignore his onsite show and didn't buy a lot of the merch based on him.

He wears a ringleader jacket, and a top-hat over his frontmost film reel. Has one single eye. No visible mouth (feeds on batteries for energy). size-wise, he is the tallest toon - when comparing to the cannon toons. No real clue what their canon sizes are but someone made a list and the tallest in that list was Teagan, Goob, and Roger at 2 feet 8 inches He stands to just about 5 feet without extending his legs. And 7 if he extends his legs completely. (the extended legs aren’t gameplay related, just partly how he gets good top down angles. He is a camera after all) His back film reel acts sorta like his brain, take it off him and he just... he can function, he is just slow and not very... reactive or perceptive. His voice is through a old-speaker, sight traces of static lace his words at times. His arms and legs are extendable, sorta like Goob but not nearly as long. Just three feet of extra reach. - He doesn't walk, per say. He has wheels for feet and rolls around. Gameplay wise, he has zero stars in movement speed and stamina (will explain below). Two in extraction speed. Two in skill checks. And three in stealth. (extraction speed and skill check is due to him having difficulty getting low enough to use the valve on the machines.) He counts as a main. Though his twisted is a rare. Since he counts as a main he also has the two heart limit other mains have. His Passive ability is "On a roll" Sprinting is disabled, instead he has momentum. Where the longer he keeps moving, the faster he gets. Starting at one star speed and reaching five stars in 20 seconds of nonstop moving. Turning becomes a little difficult at high speed. (Think ice levels in some games.) speed-based trinkets do boost his speed/momentum.

His Active ability is "Big brother" 

He extends his arms out and grabs a targeted twisted within range (if it isn't a main) and throws it after two seconds, stunning it for 5 seconds and sending it 16 studs/feet away from him in the direction he is facing. 

Twisted-wise, He has two twisted-forms. Wiped out and "not" wiped out. Only one of the two can appear on a floor.

He is missing his hat, has slash marks along his back through his jacket. And a gaping hole near his neck that leaks ichor. His right arm is stuck extended with hardened ichor in the joints and the hand is replaced by a blob of hardened ichor, turning it into a bludgeoning club type thing. 

His single eye camera emits a solid red spotlight, lighting up most of his sightline. In his pre-wipe out state he is a lot like T.Glisten. However he doesn’t require someone to be near him. He is just on a timer until he snaps. During that timer, he actively stuns twisteds by giving them a smack with his club-arm. prioritizing chasing twisteds over wandering twisteds. Ignores docile twisteds like RnD, rodger, Connie, and glisten (before he snaps)

He still has his momentum type movement so he'll slowly build up speed, but struggles with stopping or turning. When the timer is zero and he snaps, he lets out a warning static-filled cry (voice box is messed up, he has no growls or a lot of voice lines, just static and single words that slip between the static. Like “contestants” “No” and names of toons who enter his sightlines. “Vee” “Shelly” etc. After he snaps, it is purely static. No voice lines or screams or snarls. Just static.) As a twisted (post snapped), his ability is to stick onto a target. Stealth stats don't determine targets for him, first toon to enter his sights is hard focused until it stays out of sight long enough.

His wiped out state is already snapped, but he can’t move from where he crashed, his legs are broken and his arm with a actual hand is not attached to his shoulder anymore. In this state he only serves as an alarm. Making a lot of noise to draw other twisteds over if someone enters his vision. In this state, he is treated like a airhorn, drastically lowering the effected toons’ stealth stat when he spots them.

Get too close, and he can hit you himself.

Trinket - Spare Film reel.

Stamina drain when sprinting is decreased by %25. Enabling longer moments to just book it either away from twisteds or towards a machine. Hope you enjoyed the OC rambling

Wow that's quite a read, I appreciate the long ramble I love when people put a lot of detail into their characters ^^

It's sweet how he acts like a brother figure to everyone, aw the kids don't love him enough that he's slowly getting forgotten <\3 Feel like as the show progresses kids would lean more into the new stuff. Shelly and Sam are both representing the past in a sense, but Shelly focuses a lot more on the pre-historic dinosaur stuff, Unfortunately I think kids like new tech more like Vee.

His mechanic is so interesting. gotta be constantly running to gain speed he'd make a good backup distractor as long as he doesn't stop, imagine accidentally stopping while being chased by a Twisted that'd be hell ESPECIALLY since you said there's no sprinting button.

Overall, nice OC! I can tell you put a LOT of thought into em and that's awesome to hear

[sweetyyhippyy]

No Possibility. Eddie Munson x fem! reader. *ANGST*

Summary: Eddie's wife comes home with some sad news. Eddie tries to comfort her the best way he can.

Word Count: 627

TW: *EXTREMLY HEAVY TOPIC* Trouble getting pregnant. A lot of crying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t what she was hoping to hear from the doctor.

What made her more glum was the fact that she has to tell her husband that the past year was a waste of their time, and that it was never going to happen.

As soon as she heard his motorcycle pull into the garage, her stomach was in knots, the lump that has been in the back of her throat since after her appointment, only got tighter, and a cold wave of anxiety washed over her.

How was she going to tell him without breaking his heart?

“Babe! ‘M home!” Eddie’s voice calls out from the front of the house, his work boots thumping to the kitchen where she was. “There she is. Lemme get a kiss.” He comes from behind her and presses a sweet kiss to her right cheek, resting his chin on her shoulder. “How was your day?”

“It was okay.” Her voice was small, the hurt and nervousness apparent. There was no disguising it.

“Hey, you okay?” His dark brows knitted together in concern.

She bites her bottom lip to stop it from starting to quiver, turning to look at this big brown eyes of his that won her over the day he asked her out on a date 5 years ago. “I had my doctor's appointment today, Eds.” She sighs.

“Good news or bad news?” He asks, backing up to stand next to her. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t seem so sad if it was good news, huh?” He mutters, looking at her in sympathy.

“One of my ovaries is no good, there’s zero eggs. My other one has eggs, but my doctor said my uterus isn’t strong enough to carry a full term pregnancy. If we tried, either the baby could die, or me.”

Eddie visibly takes all the information in, gnawing his bottom lip nervously.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for so long, and it was all for nothing.” Tears start to roll down her cheeks as she speaks to him. “I can’t even give you the one thing you’ve wanted your whole life. I can’t even make you a dad.” She hiccups as she sobs. “I’m sorry.” She rests her elbows on the counter, burying her face into her hands.

“No, it wasn’t all for nothing, sweetheart. Don’t say that.” Eddie wraps himself around her shaking body, trying to control his own tears.

She picks her head up out of her hands and looks at him, shaking her head. “I wasted our time.”

“No You didn’t.” Eddie puts his hand under her chin, making her look at him. “This year has been amazing. Putting sex aside, I feel like, somehow, I’ve gotten to know your body and mind more than I have since we first got together. I thought I knew everything about you before we got married. I don’t know how that’s possible, but I feel more connected with you.”

She sniffles at his words. “But I can’t make you a dad.”

“That’s okay. I can still be a dad. We can adopt, we can figure out how to become foster parents. We can take in some kids that have shitty lives and love them the way they should be. Or, maybe we let the dream go off becoming parents, that’s okay too.”

She turns her body to him, burying her face in his chest, sobbing into it. Even though he said he was okay with not being a dad, her heart still broke a little at the fact she wouldn’t be able to carry their children.

Eddie held her tight, letting her soak his shirt with tears. He understood how much this killed her. “It’s okay, baby. I promise it’ll be okay."

[thecrenellations]

Top 5 Lymond ships?

I’m going to keep this to romantic* ships, but my list of top 5 Lymond relationships of any kind definitely includes some platonic and family ones (and is even more difficult to confine to 5).

*other or additional adjectives may certainly apply…

click below for spoilers and because my answers got long. Augh, these characters!

Francis/Will - The nicknames! The fights! The stars! Strip tarocco and its narrative implications! Then the wedding day sheep battle, the tactical cross-dressing, “everything there was to know about Lymond’s way with women” ?!?!, the ring, the way Will is there at Midculter when Francis comes home in DK… They’re such a disaster, in hilarious and serious ways, but they make it through to real trust and friendship in the end, and I just love them.

Francis/Philippa - Their relationship is always important and telling and entertaining, and after a certain point but before the suffering sets in, they just keep making each other smile and laugh, by accident and on purpose. Reading their scenes in RC is like genuinely being in the room with them, with banter and chemistry that is PALPABLE and makes me into a third wheel, but as a reader I also have insights that they don’t, so I’m in on it too? Or something. They love each other so much! And after everything, they get to be together. Francis, you fool, this is what you should be!

Francis/Jerott - if you’d told me when I was in the middle of reading the series that they’d be on this list, I’d be like, “Uh, ok, sure. Dorothy Dunnett has changed my opinion about characters before.” If you'd told me when I had just finished the series, I’d go, “Huh??” But here I am. There is so much wrong with both of them, and we know it all too well, but they are so important to each other, and Jerott is one of the characters closest to the story's heart. Getting Jerott safely out of the disaster that is DK is one of the things Francis promises himself, and he’s so glad when Jerott decides to stay. Their relationship, especially in PiF, becomes deeply devoted and strange and delicate and absolutely full of self-deception on both sides. But Francis never stops trusting him, even when he’s busy running away from all of his own feelings with increasing speed, even when Jerott is being awful to him. And all the desperate conflict within Jerott distills to the essential element of being there for Francis, every time it comes down to it. Also, the way Jerott calls him his first name more than anyone else (on-page, in the series’ scope) messes me up.

Marthe/Güzel - I REALLY wish we’d gotten to see more of them. For Marthe, PiF is (among many other things) this long, agonizing breakup, but we only get a few clear glimpses of it. That scene between them in Djerba! Marthe plays a song wishing misfortune on the brother she knows her girlfriend is zeroing in on, and she cries because Güzel has happiness (does she though 😬) and she has none! And I cry too! And the whole mess that web of relationships becomes is fascinating (and one of the clearest examples of how queer these books are, yay), and there's also the parallels with Francis and Margaret, to consider? Anyway, to quote @sophosthewisebunny, Marthe deserves better than the shadiest bitch in the Mediterranean/someone who would leave her for her brother, but their relationship is very interesting.

Francis/Güzel - Rereading RC, every scene between them made me feel dead inside, while also making me want to run around screaming and then return to my book to savor every word. There’s so much going on with them, hardly any of it good, and since I was just thinking about the previous ship on the list, I have to wonder how their relationships to Marthe affect how they relate to each other, because that’s an interesting question, too.

honorable mention to Francis/Míkál, entirely because of this, and Francis -ahem- Lymond/Richard Chancellor, because another thing that happened as I was rereading RC was that I realized just how much I’d missed about how important they are to each other, in such a rare and needed way (the first time, I was busy losing it about the brother prophecy and yelling at Francis to be friends with Adam and Alec again).

[bmwiid]

I spent another day/night with Pip and I found MORE things out about kids.

Sometimes when they cry it's not because they are sad or angry, but confused! Tears because they want to do BOTH swimming and my house are easily explained by "you can do both" and the tears might stop right away or continue for a few mins.

the words "I need to pee" are not the same as "I will need to pee". This is an urgent message and there is not enough time to find a toilet when you are in the park. Bushes are your friend here.

Buying things for kids is really easy. NOT buying things for kids is HARD. Pip conned me into a new pair of shorts, a cardigan and a new tshirt. I think I am a pushover.

Kids have zero stomach space. Two bites and they are full. Sweets are a different stomach altogether.

Tired is the mental equivalent of an earthquake. Sometimes, its just a lil thing that makes em slow and settled, and other times it's a fucking natural disaster resulting in loss of life/sanity. There is no way to work out what one you'll get.

Even the best kids will get on your nerves. Turn it into a joke / game / competition.

Also, "try telling me the truth first, and then if I don't like it, you can tell me a lie, and either way, I won't get mad and yell" is a promise that you need to KEEP.

ON promises: KEEP THEM. Even if there is no need, even if they forget. "I promised you last week that we would go to the park this week and I keep my promises". "I promised you I'd get you two things of clothes and even though one thing costs more, you are right and 2 things will be bought." You can wriggle around - 2 things of clothes might be socks and knickers, but if you promise 2, deliver 2.

Time doesn't exist for kids. Nothing at all will be understood with half an hour, 5 mins or four days. Time is just.... something tall people make up.

I will keep you updated on anything else I learn.

Oh - kids have no concept of clean!