#i have 2 gigs on valentine's day!!!!!

[antifragi1e]

i have so many things planned this yr damn

[polaroidpascal]

hello and welcome to my masterlist !!

warning : most of these works are 18+ key : 🔥 - smut || 💖 - fluff || 🌧️ - angst || ✨ - comfort read on ao3

fics are divided by characters and then by type !!

** the creator of tlou is a zionist, and the plot of tlou2 is based on the israeli occupation of palestine. i have included helpful links at the start of each fic and will include these resources here as well. i also have another link in my bio. this blog stands with palestine. **

mini-series

lunch box - joel miller x f!reader || 🔥💖

summary : you decide to make joel's lunch for work not realizing the day’s worth of... activity that follows (or: domestic life with joel “man whore” miller)

part 1 - lunch box || 🔥💖 || WC : 2.7k

part 2 - appetizer || 🔥💖 || WC : 2.6k

part 3 - coming soon… || 🔥💖

one shots

paradise city - guitarist!joel x f!reader || 🔥💖

summary : when you and your friends go out to a bar to see a local band gig, you can’t help but notice how the guitarist’s eyes somehow keep finding you in the crowd. WC : 7.9k fic playlist : https://spotify.link/ygrjpzupOHb

one shots

valentine's day - frankie morales x f!reader || 🔥💖

summary : you and frankie’s anniversary just happens to be on valentine’s day. even though you have to work, frankie makes sure everything is set up to go perfectly when you come home. WC : 6k

girl's night out - frankie morales x f!reader || 🔥💖

summary : after spending a night out for your friend’s birthday, you try to sneak back into the house without disturbing frankie. you thought he was a heavy sleeper, but your mischievous boyfriend never fails to surprise you. WC : ~3k

let me - frankie morales x f!reader || 💖✨

summary : after two weeks of frankie coming home knocking on death’s door from exhaustion, you decide to give him a break. WC : ~1.8k

series

one summer - boss!javi x f!reader

summary : fresh out of your last final for the semester, you learn that your application was accepted for a summer job at a fancy Majorca resort. you're excited to get to tour the place and start working. more importantly, you can finally meet your mysterious boss who you find doesn't easily leave your mind.

chapter one - may || WC : ~3.4k || 💖

chapter two - june || coming soon…

chapter three - july

chapter four - august

epilogue - september

one shots

the best critic - javi gutierrez x f!reader || 🔥💖

summary : when a nervous javi asks you to read his screenplay for the first time ever, you learn just how much praise affects him and how much he likes to express his gratitude. WC : 3.2k

series

80s films - dieter bravo x f!reader || 🔥💖🌧️✨

summary : coming soon…

chapter one :

drabbles

morning brew - joel x reader x frankie || 💖

summary : when you and Frankie wake up, you find that joel is missing from bed. WC : 619

[visxionery]

Revealing my desired enstars shuffle units!!! I might make more posts about each unit in particular + what songs it'll prob sound like. First is the event card and second and third is gacha card and the rest is event

but for now here's a brief look into each unit!

dystopia : they are all mystical beings that live in a dystopian world where art and order is gone.

heartthrob : think aisle with you plus atoz but spin it. This is more of a sad nostalgic kind of love unit? Like basically a we used to be in love and I long for you kind of thing. CAUSE I KNOW VALENTINES ARE LIKE HAPPY BUT I WANT SAD VALENTINES OK ARGHHHH (gets dragged out)

wonderlandz : mascot cosplay group, imagine twisted wonderland met wicked drugs and this. ill explain more on who is who <3 vetarannoruma : a group doing a documentary about investigative work but then gets caught in a ACTUAL CASE, they somehow end up on a plane- someone gets shot???!!! and ibara throws a bomb somewhere-FIND OUT MORE IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF VEGAS TRUE CRIME-

5050' : so eichi is investing shit right and then makes a bet and loses sum money idfk to RINNE AMAGI? Turns out rinne is good at investing and shit but then eichi like nuh uh ur reckless kohaku is on the shuffle cause rinne and his dirty schemes. Kanata is trolling and Tetora is burning kitchens (i'll explain i swear-)

imaging : OHOHO THIS IS A HALLOWEEN SHUFFLE, so switch makes a haunted house right and natsume is like lets do a mirror maze *casts sum spell* then SUBARU gets caught in the spell and suddenly theres multiple of them and the other three members get trapped.

dia thieves : game show where they battle for fans and try to rizz you up but then stinky pr does smth and THERES A SCANDAL?????? find out more on dia thieves : broke asf....

phantoms at the opera : OK OK I KNOW MAYOI AINT IN ERE BUT I DIDNT WANNA MAKE IT THAT OBVIOUS. So hokuto is doing sum dramatica shit and then he gets a theatre role outside and then they have to act out shit think masquerade ball BUT THEN (here's the plot twist) THEY GET THRUSTED INTO A MURDER MYSTERY GAME BY GATEKEEPER (dun dun dunn!!!) SHIT HAPPENS NAGISA GETS INTO A CULT TSUMUGI IS HANGING OFF A LEDGE REI ALMOST DIES HOKUTO WRU and madara is yo mama.

CU2+ : So midori and hajime has been part of a buddy system made by es to cultivate good relationships between fellow idols, but they chat anon they all do so no one knows who each other is. Midori has been feeling a bit down lately and the rest of the support grp helps him but then everyone puts on a false persona because they want to be a better version of themselves. Hajime wants them to all meet in the real world at around 2 plus, but Midori has other plans...

Parasol : ARASHI WEARS A SUNDRESS TWO PIECE I REPEAT ARASHI WEARS A- basis is its a modelling gig and compared to arashi chiaki is TERRIBLE DAWG i love you chiaki but i know you can willingly go without bathing so on the day of the shoot they put so much effot in bad weather strucks and ITS A BRINK OF A NATURAL DISASTER.....but arashi is stuck and all alone....

PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS THOUGHTS JUST YAP IN MY COMMENTS I LOVE TO RAMBLE ABT THEM <3

[mlp410nightcore]

Hi Everyone!! Here are some brand new next gens for my Blossom Love AU. Cole, Cherry Cream, Fruity Parfait, Cherry Latte and Miles's parents are Ogden Ortiz and Cherry Jubilee. Cole, Cherry Cream and Fruity Parfait are a set of triplets with Cole being the oldest, Cherry Cream being the middle child and Fruity Parfait being the youngest in the trio. Cherry Latte was born a few years later then followed by Miles a few more years after that. Cole is a huge sweetheart and loves to listen and help others with their problems. He's also very kind and loves animals. Cole is an expert mixologist and can make any drink into a cherry themed drink hence why he got his cutie mark. He currently works as the same bar that Sasha (Mike Schmidt and Jeremy Fitzgerald's daughter) works at and he has a pretty good friendship with Sasha. Cherry Cream is super sweet, very strong and doesn't like to take anyone's shit especially when it comes to them making fun of her family and friends. Cherry Cream is a world renowned musical artist and often has gigs at the same bar that Cole and Sasha work at. Her love for singing and her beautiful singing voice is how she got her cutie mark. Cherry Cream and Sasha also have a good friendship with each other. Fruity Parfait can be very shy and quiet, but once you get to know her better, she starts to come out of her shell and is very bubbly and sweet. She's also super smart and has mastered a dozen languages. Fruity Parfait can make amazing cherry themed jellies and jams, which is how she got her cutie mark. Cherry Latte is kind and really bubbly, but can be very timid especially around new people. She's amazing at making floral bouquets and arrangements for any occasion whether it be for Valentine's Day or even Easter. Cherry Latte wants to be a florist when she's older and have her own floral shop. Miles is very bubbly and loves to be around his family. He's also quite curious about most things and is often staring in awe at anything he sees as interesting. Credit goes to Selenaede and Painterede for the bases I used and to Monomi Park, Scott Cawthon, Fandom Artist Rebornica, Lauren Faust and Hasbro for creating Slime Rancher, Slime Rancher 2, FNAF and My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic as well as creating the characters, Ogden Ortiz, Mike Schmidt, Jeremy Fitzgerald (Rebornica made the character designs and personalities of Mike Schmidt and Jeremy Fitzgerald while Scott Cawthon made the actual characters.) and Cherry Jubilee as well. I only take credit for my next gens, art, ships, stories and the Blossom Love AU. I hope you guys like them!!!

[pearlinaweek]

Feeling stumped on ideas for #PearlinaWeek 2024? Here are some prompt ideas below the cut!

Find this year's prompt list here!

Questions? Check out our FAQ.

Day 1. Springfest 2024

Springfest was a 2019 event in Splatoon 2. What would it look like if Pearl & Marina were to host it in Splatoon 3? Or, you can take a much broader approach & think about what types of activities Pearl & Marina would indulge in during Spring!

Day 2. Exploring New Music!

After their Inkopolis News gig, Pearl & Marina set their sights on trying out new genres of music! After all, that's how they discovered Damp Socks!

Now that they have more musical freedom, what are some genres you think they'd explore?

Day 3. New Off the Hook Merch Drop!

Pearl & Marina are releasing new merch! But for this time, what would it be? More clothes? Another sponsored collab?

How would they feel about designing? Who would over-think, & who'd go with the flow? Who gets too attached to their prototypes?

Day 4. Valentine's Day!

There's a LOT of ways to say "I love you"! How do you think Pearl & Marina spend this day together? Do they go all out with cliche flowers and chocolates? Or do they keep it chill?

Who confesses first? Who gets flustered when showing PDA? Up to you!

Day 5. Alternate Universe (AU)

Any day can be an AU day, but this day is specifically dedicated to it!

From human AUs, to canon divergence, to inserting-your-own-versions-of Pearl-and-Marina-into-a-completely-obscure-media-for-your-own-personal-enjoyment, the sky's the limit!

Day 6. A Day with Eight!

Considering everything they've been through (and upcoming!), Off the Hook & Eight are close!

When they're not saving the world, how do they hang out, and how often? Perfect prompt for Slice-of-Life!

Day 7. Side Order Reunion

What's your DREAM way you hope Pearl & Marina reunite in Side Order?

Does Pearl jump into Marina's arms with happiness? Are they both sobbing uncontrollably? Does someone sneak in a kiss?

Share your headcanon before the DLC invalidates everything!

[merge-conflict]

8 & 17 for the fic writer asks 🌟

sorry it took me so long to answer yours T-T something happened and now it's 4 days some time later. you know how it is. anyway thank you!! I did want to take some time to answer the second one properly.

questions here

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

tough question to answer because when do I ever leave anything I've written for more than a few months before feeling compelled to continue writing. I'm going to cheat slightly and say there are two things I'd love to continue:

One is the RP I did with @corpocyborg which I'm having trouble finding right now (why am I such a terrible tagger) where Valentine and Valerie did a gig together. It was just such a blast playing them off each other and they made a surprisingly great team. Hard to find a canon where they can both really shine but gosh. That was so much fun.

The second is also OC-related, the stuff I've written with Valentine and @another-corpo-rat 's Victoria Crane. Those two's dynamic is so funny I don't know what they are but it's toxic af. I wrote some smut about the two of them and now I've been thinking about what that meeting over coffee is like afterwards. (I've been watching a lot of killing eve)

Collabs are fun! I love getting the chance to reverse engineer what makes other people's OCs tick and then try to faithfully recreate them in a story.

17. talk about your writing and editing process

I think I answered this one once but I forget and I'm just going to wing it!

I'll be honest I haven't really figured out "plotting" in an advanced way, and am sticking within shouting distance of canon on the longfic, and have fleeting fits of reason which I don't plot longterm at all because it's kind of a cool-down mess-around kind of fic I add stuff to when it sounds fun.

I guess I'll start with considering the shape of what I'm writing –> what the boundaries are, if that makes sense? rough length, and I do mean *rough* like: <1k, 2-10k, nope we're going to have multiple chapters.

Then I take consider the chapter I want to write, as in: what do I want to accomplish? where do I need to go? taking for example indicators of compromise, my objectives are:

textually establish that Alex has a trained eye for detail and analysis

show the rapport (even if it's uneasy) that she has with Reed and how well she knows him

introduce their opinions on Valentine

Then from there the process is basically:

Think of ways to accomplish objectives in the chapter that sound like fun.

Write them down in *some* way, if it's a wip snippet of a scene, [describing what's going on in brackets] or just a barebones script dialog with no description.

Repeat steps 1-2 as many times as needed to get the raw material for the scene that feels fun and satisfying. This may take a fair amount of time.

Finish Draft 0 - where all the scenes are interconnected, and the text written (even if badly), with no remaining [placeholders] or highlights.

Edit. Edit. Edit. Read pieces aloud. Find a rhythm. Edit. Despair. Edit. Despair. Rest.

Optional Beta Step

Publish.

D'oh.

Republish.

[legolasghosty]

I keep seeing you tag worm onna string stuff as 'willex worm scene' and stuff and I neeeeed to know more. Is this a fic? Can you share more? Please I need it so bad.

HAH oh yeah THAT. Okay, so first off, I feel like it is important to note that worm onna string and Willie are permanently connected in my brain, thanks to this drawing by @michelangelinden. Whatever the heck this mess of an idea is, I will forever claim it is their fault (/lh /nm I love my fiance so frigging much).

THAT BEING SAID, this is... I guess a little collection of story ideas? None of which are actually written because family and college. But they all take place in a modern/alive au where Willie and Alex are friends for ages and finally end up getting together in late high school/early college. But life just... keeps getting in between them and having all the sweet milestone stuff.

Willie catches the flu the day before their first NYE together. Alex gets stuck at work all day on their anniversary. The band gets a super massive gig on Valentine's day. You get the picture. Whether it's family stuff, health stuff, job stuff, school stuff, whatever, it becomes this unfortunate thing that life seems to hate them getting special occasions together without some kind of mishap.

Enter the worm onna string scenes. Willie absolutely loves the little guys and has always had at least 2 in their living space since they were like 14. And sometimes when he's stressed, he'll make them into little scenes as a way to calm himself down. It's simple and small and they can put as much detail into it as they want.

So when Willie can't be with Alex for whatever reason, he starts making little worm scenes of what they wish they could be doing and sending them to Alex. It helps with both of their stressies and usually makes them both laugh. Sometimes Willie will shoot Alex half-done pictures and be like, "This is missing something???" and Alex almost always manages to figure out what it is. And it becomes more and more of a thing they do together when they can't actually be together.

So... can't have a new years kiss cause Alex is coughing up a storm? The worms get one, along with some really tiny champagne bottles they made together. Picnic date canceled cause it's pouring down rain for once in LA? The worms can have a little one on the desk under Willie's lamp. Can't spend their anniversary together cause Willie's flight got delayed? The worms can have a cute night in, featuring the tiny plates Alex got them for Christmas the year before.

Anddddd there mayyyyy be thoughts about Alex making a tiny worm proposal scene to go with his real one. It takes a few tries, but they finally get it right.

Soooo that's the idea. I wish to write it. I do not have the energy to write much these days though. So. Yeah. I'm sorry. I shall attempt to stop confusing people. Hope this made you smile at least!

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Stick Season (2/14)

Summary: After Finn dies, Kurt leaves everything he knows behind without a trace. His hometown, his family, his boyfriend. When his dad has a medical scare, he returns to Lima, one year after breaking Blaine’s heart with no explanation. Written for the @klaineccfanficlibrary Valentines Challenge 2023

Tropes/Genres: Angst, Reconciliation, Grief, Alcoholism, Mentions of Major Character Death, Mental Health

Track 4. She Calls Me Back // Day 2: You're The Inspiration

Words: 329

***

Two days after the party—after their… revelatory conversation—Blaine has nothing to show for it except a list of rejected outgoing calls in his log. 

He’s finishing up his set at the local bar, tucking his guitar back into its black leather case, when he feels a vibrating sensation come from his back pocket.

He answers without checking who it is, holding it in place with his shoulder as he continues tearing down his humble set up at the Paper Tiger. It’s not much, but his weekly Friday night gig at the local bar not only gives him an extra hundred bucks in his pocket per performance, but it fills a hole in his heart put there by Kurt’s absence.

“Hello?”

“Blaine?” 

It’s Kurt’s voice. Blaine’s entire body stills with anticipation, and after not responding fro what is probably too long, he dumbly repeats his salutations. “Hi.”

“Hi… You at Paper Tiger?”

“Yeah, just finishing up, actually.”

“How did your set go?”

“About as well received as it can be in a town like this. No one heckled me to try and play Wonderwall, so, progress.”

The small chuckle Kurt lets out sends an ache in Blaine’s heart. “I really liked that last one. The one about home being a person.”

“Thanks… Full disclosure, uh, you’re the inspiration on that one.” He pauses, barely processing Kurt’s words. “Wait. What do you mean you liked it?”

For a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of Kurt breathing on the other end of the line. “Turn around.”

Blaine's heart palpitates, and he whirls around to come face to face with Kurt, standing by the front doors of the bar. 

He drops his phone from his ear to his side, staring in awe. He came back, this time. Surely, he’s dreaming. Blaine must have died and gone to heaven—something Kurt doesn’t even believe in, but Blaine still sees every time he looks into his eyes. 

Kurt swallows. “Hi… again.”

“Hi.”

“Can we talk?”

[torimwrites]

Writing Patterns (tag game)

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

I was tagged by: @applewillowstone Funny enough, the pattern is that these are literally all of the Stranger Things fics that I have written. I have 30 Marvel ones before these, but these were my last posted. Haha. 1. The week of Valentine’s day was always something that brought the cynic in Eddie out even more than usual. [Are you fa-fa-fa-fa-fallin' for me? - Mungrove] 2. It was the 3rd of December, Monday, and a week and three days since Steve showed up at Eddie’s to establish that they both liked each other. [I Will Dare - Steddie Part 4 in series] 3. When he finally graduated, nearly having to do senior year for a third time—thanks to Nancy Wheeler for tutoring him at the last minute—Eddie knew that he had to get serious and find a job that wasn’t selling drugs to the residents of Hawkins. [Talk Dirty To Me - Steddie *WIP*] 4. Eddie didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t Steve Harrington at his doorstep on Thanksgiving… [Dare Me - Steddie Part 3 in series] 5. Hawkins was in full Thanksgiving preparation with last minute grocery shopping, washing sheets at the laundromat for guests, running around and practically hitting Eddie’s van… [I Dare You - Steddie Part 2 in series] 6. Eddie went through the back entrance to the male strip club, making his way down the onyx and charcoal, mylar wallpapered hallway, past Murray’s office and staff bathroom, and into the dressing room. [A new religion that'll bring you to your knees - Steddie] 7. Eddie showed up at Tina’s ‘Halloween Bash’, holding onto his lunchbox of drugs, ready to sell and barter—decline anything less than the price he tells them, or raise it if they are being assholes—all while his ears suffered in ‘the realm of the cliques’ as they listened to music he did not fancy. [Dare - Steddie Part 1 in series] 8. Eddie was there to support Jeff, who was DJing that night; who was by no means gay, but had gotten the gig because Eddie was friends with the bartender that used to sell Eddie stock, back when Reefer Rick had been in jail. [Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Man After Midnight) - Steddie] 9. It wasn’t often that he went to an actual party, but, then again, it wasn’t often that he got invited. [No matter who's in the room (touch me in the way that you do) - MetalSandwich] 10. Eddie bounced and jangled into the video store in Hawkins. [Even in a crowded room (baby, it's just me and you) - Steddie]

[cerise-grenadine]

Self-indulgent Slythenclaw AU masterpost

CONTEXT---

I started developping this AU while waiting for The Order of the Phoenix (I’m ancient)(and it was a long wait!), which means it is only canon-compliant up to The Goblet of Fire (+ lots of elements of OOTP).

Basically, Snape’s entire background is completely different, because back then we only knew that: 1, he loathed the Marauders and 2, he had been a Death Eater and was about to resume his spying gig.

See more of the context after the list 👇🏻

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦. 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　

WORKS---

🐍 Pre-HP era

1979/80 — Assassination attempt — drawing (TW suicide, not graphic)

Beginning of 1982 — First pic with his siblings — drawing

Circa 1986 — Severus with his sister and niece — drawing + ficlet

Circa 1987 — Severus with his siblings and niece — drawing

⚡️ HP era

Anytime in his 30s I guess? — Playing the piano — drawing

Around GOF or OOTP — Overthinking — drawing

March 1995 — The minute before — drawing + ficlet + silly bonus

Spring 1995 — Another kiss — sketch

Bastille Day, 1995 — First photo — fugly sketch

Summer 1995 — Wandless magic — sketch + ficlet

OOTP year — portraits of Muireann — drawings

OOTP year — Hugs — various sketches

OOTP year —Teamwork — sketch

OOTP year — Cup of tea — drawing

Post-1995 — Hands — drawing

Valentine's Day, 1996 — drawing + ficlet

Summer 1996 — Fluff and pancakes — drawing + ficlet

Silly bonus: Severus' house in Animal Crossing. That would be his house post spring 1996.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦. 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　

MORE CONTEXT---

I suppose the most significant change is that Lily is completely out of the picture, she was never more than a classmate. He has a different birth date, was (kind of) raised in a magical household with money, has French roots he’s very attached to and discovers quite late he has siblings, which he keeps secret to protect them from Death Eater consequences.

His romantic interest is one of his Ravenclaw students. She joined Hogwarts late, at almost 16, and because she had had no magical education before that, she was put in 3rd year (in Fred & George’s class). Their romantic relationship started towards springtime in GOF, to her initiative. They're over 19 and 34 at the time and it's her 6th year.

Note #1: I created her when I was a teen and definitely didn’t see all the layers of problematicness such a relationship meant 😬 I do like her being a student, so as I grew older I tweaked things here and there to keep their dynamic while softening the unbalance. She wears all the pants. But if it’s not your thing, I get it.

Note #2: I’ve noticed recently that English speakers combined Slytherin and Ravenclaw as Slytherclaw. I suppose it sounds better? But I’ve been using Slythenclaw for a while and like that it’s a bit more half/half. So you’ll have to bear with me T-T

Note #3: some things have been moving for a very long time/are still undecided and I have AUs of my own AU ☠️ ho and apart from the couple ficlets up there, I haven't actually written a single line in 15 years haha i'm the worst

[morganlefaye79]

GIG: V for Valentine Masterpost

From the fixers of the Afterlife. (Discord)

1| Valentine's Day gone wrong

Fanfiction, Kerry/ Valaire

2| Best "worst date" ever

VP, Kerry/ Valaire

3| We're not just chooms and you fucking know it!

VP, SilverDyne

4| I think I might be in love with you and that scares the shit out of me

VP, SilverDyne

5| Secret admirer

VP, Kerry/ Valaire

6| Platonic Valentine's day / Anti Valentines

VP, Rita Wheeler

7| Love language

VP, Kerry/ Valaire

8| Romantic spots in Night City

VP, Kerry/ Valaire

9| Seriously? That’s your best pickup line?

10| A dare gone too far

11| Braindance

12| Sneaking into a fancy Corpo Party together

VP, Joris/ Vicco

(photoshopped into the same picture bc I have no NPV yet)

13| Camping in the badlands

VP, Kerry/ Valaire

14| Stuck in an Elevator for 5 hours

VP, Kerry/ Valaire

15| You promised you wouldn’t fall in love with me

[rising-angelx]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ catching up: a selection of memories. solo in chicago, again.

tw for mentions of abandonment, depression, anxiety, and depiction of a panic attack

୨୧

deciding to spend the first half of her break back in chicago was a decision made somewhat impulsively. her first run in her former city had been a mess of ups and downs for her, but she had hoped that with time to relax instead of running around with practice and performances and a legion of managers and security, she would actually be able to enjoy her time. not to mention, one of her closest childhood friends had just returned from a long-haul work trip in shanghai, and she could not miss the opportunity to see her again.

hannah oh, or as dahye knew her better as, hyunin, was practically the only friend she had outside of her ragtag group of musically inclined friends. she was the youngest daughter of the only other korean family in her building, and her first friend in america. she had helped her learn english outside of school and acclimate to the brand new world she never asked to suddenly belong to. dahye had tried to keep up with her friend after she left, and occasionally got to see her when she was in korea, visiting family or handling business, but it had been a few years since she had last seen her. now, she sprawled across her plush couch in the brand new high rise she had taken up residence in, sipping on a sweet moscato probably fresh from some fancy california vineyard, catching up on lost time. 

their cheeks had already begun to heat to a soft pink, a couple of glasses already passing through their hands over laughs and light stories. angel had been in the middle of one about making an embarrassing mess out of herself at the last company party on valentine’s day.

“y’know, i was crying about my family and like… all the ways i’d been wronged by love, all that dramatic stuff. i almost…” she paused, remembering the main cause of her drunken grief that night being a past relationship her friend knew about well. “my friend, you remember danbi, she told me she found me when i was uh,” she sighed, hanging her head slightly with a bout of shame hitting her system. “i was trying to hunt down malachi. make him apologize for leaving.”

hannah’s eyes widened in realization, a hand flying to her lips in a gasp. “i heard you’re working with him now! oh god, i remember the day after he left like it was yesterday,” she sighed, recalling the phone call she had gotten from angel, only hearing broken sobs on the other end when she picked up.

dahye took a slow sip of her wine, rolling her shoulders out as if the memory was a fight she was preparing for. maybe it was. “yeah,” she sighed. “me too.”

୨୧

that week in 2013 was a warm spot as the colder months began to come to an end. angel remembered the day before, her band making plans to skip their last class at school and head to some spot by the river someone had found before going to ahmed’s to rehearse. they had a gig coming up in some dingey bar they had booked once before and wanted to be invited back again. she didn’t remember anything off about that day, about the way kai acted or spoke to her. to any of them. she never would have guessed that it would be the last day of her life as she knew it. 

she didn’t notice anything odd until the next morning when she woke up to no new messages from her boyfriend. he had always stayed up much later than her, and she would often wake up to some of his 2 am thoughts. it didn’t really bother her, figuring he had actually allowed himself to fall asleep at a decent time the night before. it didn’t really bother her when she didn’t see him at school either, his truancy record definitely not spotless. none of the small things started to bother her until she saw ahmed in the hall, a sad looking scowl on his face. he didn’t even seem to notice her as he passed, a stark contrast to the way he would gleefully yell her name down the hall with a larger than life wave the moment he saw her head bobbing in the crowd of kids. 

that’s when the anxiety began to slowly eat at her insides. one thought disturbed her brain, distracting her from the entire rest of the school day. where was malachi? 

the next thing she remembered was at the meeting spot by the river. she didn’t remember the likely anxious journey there, oddly lacking kai, or even arriving. she only remembered the unusual quiet that sat amongst her friends, downcast looks across all of their faces. she remembered asking, “where’s kai?” she remembered the way her heart plummeted when someone said “he’s gone,” death coming to mind before the idea of malachi willingly leaving her without a single word. she hardly remembered the careful voice of felix explaining the situation, only a few words standing out in her memory. kai. left. for korea. with daniel. what angel did distinctly remember was all five agonizing stages of grief. 

denial. “he wouldn’t do that. he would never leave without saying could by. he wouldn’t leave me.” refusing to believe it in any way her friends tried to explain it to her. “he told me he wasn’t going to go with them, why would he lie to me?” refusing to believe her boyfriend, the undeniable love of her life, would up and leave her for the empty promises of some recruiter from the other side of the globe. most of all without saying anything.

anger. “how could you let him do that?” she remembered the hurt look on ahmad’s face when she shoved him, and the strange gratification she got from it. “how could you let him leave? just walk out of our lives like we’re nothing?” she remembered the way she blamed daniel, the friend who had left before kai, to follow his dream the very same way. “he convinced him, didn’t he? to go? i knew daniel was a fucking rat, he left us first.” most of all, she remembered the anger he felt at the very source of loss. “why would he do this to me? how the fuck could he leave me? how could he lie to me and tell me he loved me and disappear without a fucking word?”

bargaining. “did i do something? did he just never want to see me anymore? can i fix it?” she remembered the way her mother held her in her lap, allowing the tears to soak her shirt as she gently pet her hair. at the time, the woman would have done anything to console her daughter, her own heart breaking seeing her in such pain. but really, there was nothing to be done but be there for her. angel remembered her aunt’s opinion on the matter clearly. “it wasn’t your fault, darling. surely he realized you were far too good for him in the first place. the only thing he knew how to do was run.” it was harsh and it hurt her heart to hear such things about someone she held so dear. but at times when she would have cursed his name to all powers earthly or not, it helped. it helped to put the blame on someone else’s shoulders.

depression. the worst of it. when the school year finally ended and she had no reason to force herself out of bed in the morning. she didn’t remember any of it. days melted into each other and she was sure now that everyone near to her was worried sick, but at the time she couldn’t have brought herself to care. kai was gone. her reason, her future. the depression was the hardest to escape.

acceptance. the most ambiguous of all. she didn’t know when acceptance set in. maybe it was when she could get out of bed of her own accord. maybe it was when she could look at her guitar without tears tugging at her eyes. maybe it was when she started seeing her friends again. maybe it was falling down the same path he had taken. she wasn’t sure if it had ever even set in at all. 

୨୧

“what was it like seeing him again?” her friend asked, peeking at her over the rim of her wine glass as she took another sip.

heartstopping. 

୨୧

tidal had been at some music show or another, promoting another comeback. she couldn’t remember the details. but in the back halls of the production, among all the bustle of stylists and managers and producers and idols big and small, she saw him. the group had just gotten off stage and it was just for a moment. she wasn’t even sure it was him at first, but there was no mistaking the angled jawline and pointed nose. he didn’t even see her, as far as she knew, but it was enough. enough to freeze the air in her lungs, her heart feeling like it was nearly going to burst. it had been three years since she had last seen him, but the wound still felt as jagged and fresh as ever, tearing her apart from the inside. she could feel her body shaking as she tried to catch her breath, but she could barely force any air into her lungs. her vision started fuzzing around the edges, the world spinning much too fast for her liking. she stumbled into the first empty dressing room she could find, clutching her head, her chest. the outfit she was wearing was far too tight, her hands clawing at the choker that she had admired in the mirror earlier but she was sure in the moment that if she couldn’t get it off she would die in it, right there on the floor, backstage at musicbank or wherever the hell they were. 

angel had known it would happen eventually. they were a part of the same small world once again. in fact, there were times she’d hoped she would see him again. sometimes she imagined a soft reunion, warm embraces and maybe a few tears. maybe a few kisses. other times she imagined herself walking right up to him and socking him in the face, career-ending scandal be damned. what she never imagined was spiraling into a state of panic at one glimpse of him from across a busy room. 

she wasn’t sure how long it took to calm down, for her chest to rise and fall at a relatively normal rate again. it was dae who found her, curled up on the green room couch with her head buried in her hands, cheeks streaked with melted makeup and tears she hadn’t even realized had fallen. it felt ironic, looking back at it. but at the time it was just her leader and friend, taking care of her at such a low moment. 

angel hadn’t thought about that day in such a long time. she couldn’t even remember what she had told her worry-stricken bandmates as to why she had gone m.i.a, returning shaking and tear soaked, but she knew it wasn’t the truth. 

୨୧

“kind of horrible,” she elicited a laugh alongside the understatement of the year. “just really jarring, y’know? it had been like, i dunno, 3, 4 years? but seeing him felt like he had left me all over again. it sucked,” she sighed, swirling the sweet red liquid around her glass.

hyunin nodded in understanding. she had been through her fair share of heartbreaks, but she knew the way kai had shattered dahye’s couldn’t compare. “how is it now though? like, do you see him a lot?”

“well… its really complicated.” she set her glass down, adjusting her legs tucked underneath her. “at first, when our companies merged, i avoided him like the plague,” she laughed at the notion, almost as literal as it sounded. “but we have the same friends, we had to work it out eventually. it was just this thing festering and it wasn’t…” her voice faded, her thoughts dissolving into a deep sigh. “plus,” she raised her eyebrows, awaiting the reaction her friend would have to the following news, “he’s with my group’s leader now. dae.”

hannah’s jaw dropped, making angel laugh at the comical expression. “no!” she cried, clutching angel’s hand in the dramatics of it all.

“yes!” the guitarist nodded. “i want to be happy for them, of course, but it just makes me feel so… watching them… its like some fucked mirror of what could’ve been, right?”

“100 percent,” her friend agreed, patting her leg in comfort and support. “does she even know? about how you two were?”

“i mean, i haven’t told her. so, i can’t blame her. as much as my heart wants to sometimes, it's not right.”

“but you’re over him.”

“the way we were… so dependent on each other like that. so… well, i would say, in love. and the way it ended with so little closure after a whole… fucking decade. i don’t think there is any being over him. i don’t have those feelings for him anymore, and i know there’s no future there, but his presence just lights me on fire. i can’t stand next to him without thinking about all of the could’ve should’ve would’ves between us.” she had never spoke so honestly about this before. she could feel her words beginning to stick painfully to her throat, but she fought to get them out. she needed them to finally be aired.

hyunin listened carefully, nodding along. “speaking honestly, hye-ya,” she began, holding her hand between hers once more. “i think what you two had was a little unhealthy, the way you clung to each other… but the past is the past, right? i really hope you work it out,” her eyes held her genuinity, carefully attempting to convey the words straight from her heart. “back then, i never thought i would ever see two people so connected. but i know you can start over.”

a start over. that mythical desire of everyone hurt by the past. would it ever find her?

[g-raceinyourheart]

Doing a few shows in NYC this coming month! If you love me or are bored or just feel sorry for me because a whole country broke up with me, come come come!! & may have some lovely friends accompanying, so stay tuned for that ;). 1. A last minute lil Rockwood (Stage 1) gig tomorrow 2. An hour of me serenading you with songs in the cutest bookstore/bar in honour of my favorite holiday (Valentine’s Day, duh) 3. & A Breaking Sound gig (link in my bio) a couple of days before I head to Nashville for a month! 💞 (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoD08JKuZ6t/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[dorefasolsido]

38. Should've done this at the beginning of the year, but anyway...

What Happened In the Past Year???

How many relationships were you in?

None. I don't think I'm a relationship person at all.

What did you do for Valentine's day?

I don't really remember nor do I celebrate it. I think that was a day after I came back from Germany, so probably just adjusting to life back here.

Did you recieve your driver's license?

Lol no, I actually renewed it. It's been 10 years since I got it.

Did you graduate high school?

Nope. Did that in 2014.

Did you graduate college?

Not that either. Done with college in 2020.

Did you move out on your own?

I'm already more or less moved out on my own.

Did you get arrested?

Nope.

Did you get a speeding ticket?

Nope.

What was the best thing you got for Christmas?

I don't actually remember what I got. Tbh, we don't really exchange gifts on Christmas here, we do it for New Year's sometimes and sometimes not even then.

Did you fall in love?

Nah.

Did you become an aunt or an uncle?

Kind of, just not directly. Two of my cousins had babies in 2023.

Did you have a baby?

Absolutely not.

Did you get engaged?

Nope.

Did you get married?

Nope.

Did someone close to you die?

Luckily, no.

How many funerals did you go to?

None.

How many weddings?

No weddings either.

Did you turn 18?

Nope. I turned 28 ;-;

Did you turn 21?

Nope.

Did you turn 30?

Thankfully no, but it's coming.

Did you have a car accident?

Nope.

Were you old enough to vote this year?

Yes, and I did.

How many jobs did you have throughout the year?

Hmm, I switched from my old job to a better one and had 2-3 extra gigs on top. Ugh, but I seriously need a break from all the work.

Did you get a new pet?

No new ones.

Did you get cheated on?

Nope.

Did you cheat on someone?

Nooooo.

Did you start at a new school?

No.

Did you make any new friends?

Not friends, but I met quite a few new people.

Did you get a new car?

Yes, actually. Well, it's not new, but I finally got my parents' old car so now I can drive instead of always using public transport which largely sucks. I got it at the very end of the year, in December, so it's still all pretty fresh.

Did you drastically change your hairstyle?

Yes, I cut my very long hair very short. And at the beginning of the year I accidentally dyed it black so had to bleach it again to dye it purple. Quite a few changes lol

Did you go out of the country?

Yup, a few times.

Did you keep your last New Year's resolution?

I never make those.

What was the best movie you saw in theaters?

Hmm, I think I only saw Barbie and Oppenheimer, so in that case I pick Barbie. I really enjoyed it, and I really loved how it was basically this huge event we all participated in.

What was the best book you read?

I'm not sure when I read Sayaka Murata's Earthlings and Convenience Store Woman, but those two books changed my outlook on everything.

What was your greatest accomplishment?

Translating a book. I'm really glad that happened, but I guess it's a testament to my deteriorating mental health that I didn't feel nearly as proud and happy about it as I thought I would when I saw it published. Mila from 2/3 years ago would be so thrilled. And I am, just, I don't know, 2023 wasn't my year.

What was the best cd released this year?

CD? Well if you mean album, personally, Jimin's Face was my favourite, along with Agust D's D-Day.

Did you get a new tattoo?

No, but I am seriously considering it.

A new piercing?

Yup, in September.

Are you still dating the same person you dated at the start of the year?

Yes, which is no one.

The Lasts of the Past

How old were you on your last birthday?

28.

Who was the last person to tell you "I love you"?

I don't even know. I don't hear that very often.

Who was the last person you spoke to in person?

My mum.

Who was your last missed call?

Idk, some unknown number.

Who was your last phone call to?

My mum a few days ago before I came to visit.

What was the last movie you watched?

I honestly don't know.

The last song you heard?

Parabola by Tool in the car. That's the one I remember, though I might have heard others in the meantime.

The last book you read?

Battle Royal by Koushun Takami.

The last place you went?

For a walk and to a cafe.

The last time you cut your hair?

I think it was in November?

The color of the last shirt your wore?

Red.

The last person you hugged?

My mum's friend as a greeting.

The last thing you bought?

Uhh, I honestly can't remember now. But this reminds me I have to buy those absolutely delicious noodles soon.

The last time you went to the doctor?

A super long time ago. Like, years ago.

The last time you went swimming?

I believe last summer.

The last game you played?

Witcher 2, probably.

The last person's house you went to?

Hmm, I can't remember last time I visited someone's home tbh.

The last un-related guy you hung out with?

Probably my friend's boyfriend. We all hung out together.

The last un-related girl you hung out with?

My classmates from my German classes.

The last family member you hung out with?

Mum.

The last movie you saw in theaters?

I genuinely can't remember now, but I should see Dune soon.

The last time you went to Walmart?

No Walmarts here.

The last time you went to Burger King?

Also no Burger Kings... I think.

The last time you went on vacation?

In November, and I desperately need another one.

The last restaurant you went to?

Moon sushi.

The last thing you ate?

Chocolate.

The last thing you drank?

Water.

The Firsts of the New Year

Who was the first person you kissed?

No one.

Who was the first person you told "I love you" to?

Also no one.

Who was the first person you spoke to?

Idk, I was with my friends and sister, so one of them.

Who was your first phone call to/from?

I'm not sure, maybe my parents.

Where was the first place you went?

Home from the club I was celebrating in.

What was the first thing you bought?

No clue.

Who was the first person to wish you "Happy New Year!"?

My sister.

What was the first thing you ate?

Chicken from this one place near my flat next morning.

The first thing you drank?

Cola, cause I was drinking Cola whole night. Designated driver lol

What color was the first shirt you wore?

Grey.

What were the first shoes you wore?

My black boots.

What was the first electronic (not computer or cell) device you used?

I really don't know.

What was the first movie you watched?

No clue.

What was the first song you heard?

Whichever song the band we went to see was playing next.

Who was the first girl you hung out with?

My friends and my sister.

Who was the first guy?

My friend's boyfriend. 

The first relative?

My sister.

What was the first thing you did when it became the new year?

Yelled "Happy New Year!" and hugged my sister.

What the Future Year Has In Store

What are you most looking forward to in the New Year?

Concerts, mostly. Hopefully I will plan a good trip or two as well. And idk, tbh I don't look forward to all that much, 2023 left me feeling pretty meh and 2024 didn't have a promising start at all.

But I am making some necessary changes, so we'll see how that goes.

Are you getting married this year?

Lol.

Are you expecting a child?

Definitely not.

Will you be getting a new job?

I don't have such plans, but who knows what the future holds.

Will you be starting a new school?

I'm thinking of finding a language school that offers Japanese once I'm done with German.

Will you be moving to a new place?

Nah.

Will you get your driver's license this year?

No, I have it already.

Will you turn 18?

Way past that sadly.

Will you turn 21?

And that.

Will you turn 25?

And that.

Will you turn 30?

Not yet.

Will you turn 40?

Nope.

Are you going on a vacation this year?

I am planning to, yes. I already feel that I'm going to lose my mind if I don't go anywhere soon.

What movie are you most looking forward to coming out this year?

I'm not sure, maybe Dune?

What book?

None specific, I just want to finally get through more of my list.

What music album?

Hobi's Hope on the Street and whatever Jin releases!

Do you expect to find love this year?

Definitely not.

Did you make a New Year's resolution?

Not really, but there are things I want to do. I just don't want to call them New Year's resolutions because I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to stick to them then.

Have you kept it so far?

Refer to above.

Will you be going to a wedding this year?

Maybe? I have no idea yet.

Will you get a new car?

Not anytime soon, I think.

Will you buy a house this year?

Lol no.

Do you expect to be with the same person at the end of the year?

Not exactly the same, no. Even if changes are small, I don't think I'm exactly the same at the end of each year.

Are you starting the year off single?

As always.

What do you most want to happen this year?

I want my mental health to improve, that's probably number one thing.

What are you most excited about this year?

Concerts I'm going to.

[ajoytobeheld]

Support dates with The Cribs

September 1st, 2009

UPDATED: NOW INCLUDES LONDON SUPPORT SHOW WITH THE CRIBS.

It is a great honour to announce that we have been asked by the Cribs to support them in some massive, triumphant end of year shows.

Wednesday 2 December Birmingham o2 Academy Thursday 3 December London Brixton Academy Saturday 5 December Doncaster Dome Sunday 6 December Edinburgh Corn Exchange

Tickets at www.gigsandtours.com or www.gigsinscotland.com.

This has been a big year for Los Campesinos! and this seems the perfect icing on the cake for us. I am so excited to do these shows that I was even prepared to sell my My Bloody Valentine ATP tickets. But it’s not every day you get the chance to live Sean Smith’s dream and play at Birmingham O2 Academy, and it is a true privilege to be invited to do so with a band as big and as good as the Cribs. Thank you very much.

While on a domestic tip, I’d like to take this opportunity to remind those at home of our October UK tour (All shows with Copy Haho and Sparky Deathcap)

WED 21 OCT Kasbah, Coventry 14+

THURS 22 OCT Joiners, Southampton 14+

FRI 23 OCT Phoenix, Exeter 14+ (01392 263518)

SAT 24 OCT The Gate, Cardiff 14+ (Also with Dananananaykroyd, Munch Munch and Internet Forever)

MON 26 OCT  Deaf Institute, Manchester14+

TUE 27 OCT University, Newcastle 14+

WED 28 OCT Garage, London 14+

THU 29 OCT Zodiac, Oxford All Ages (Under 14s to be accompanied by an adult)

FRI 30 OCT Cockpit, Leeds14+

SAT 31 OCT King Tut’s, Glasgow 18+

These are, in most cases, reasonably small gigs and those in, for example, London, Manchester and Glasgow are really close to selling out, so I’d recommend buying tickets soon to ensure nobody’s disappointed. By now I am very excited to finally be playing shows in the UK again and to get material from our forthcoming record out and heard. Thank you for reading.

[ladysammymblog]

I am struggling, however I've only given into this belief system about 3 weeks.

My life has improved since I've started meditating, journaling, and positive affirmations. Listening to frequencies trying to align my chakras etc.

I've met a guy I would love to have in my life but he hasn't been available to me since our first date. He said he likes me, just needs some time to "recoup". He's a middle school teacher and it's exhausting, I can't even imagine how insane it must be. I sympathize, I check my ego, my wounded child, he assures me he's interested. But I still question his loyalty. I don't want to, but why wouldn't he see anyone else? He's no friend of mine.

My patience is being tested like never before. I'm going to attract and no longer chase, I am trying to go no contact, leave him to ponder.

Today is the day of love and I'm full of melancholy for my heart long's for him and he's gone silent without even a happy valentine's day sticker or gif.

I grieve for my disappointment, i mourn for my unfulfilled yearning. These feelings are low frequency. My anxiety of being ghosted and abandoned are low frequency. It's weak feminine energy. Not when I've finally awakened and realized who I truly am can I still have these sentiments right?

To answer these questions I'm gonna add the number and my answer.

1. I do have limited beliefs on how long it should take. I am still working on truly believing in myself and my power.

2. I spend a lot of time looking for ways to incorporate manifestation practices into my daily life, so far it's been listening to frequencies at night. The "I Am" app instead of TikTok during the day, journaling my thoughts and tarot cards for guidance. When it comes to actually manifesting something i don't think I've been doing that, maybe I don't know how? Do I tell it to myself in the mirror, I've tried to "lie" to myself into thinking I'm gonna get what I want which is this boy rn. 😂 Then my mood changes and I'm back to sadness and despair.

3. 😂 No I haven't asked why isn't it here, i did pray for a nice boyfriend and I feel like I met him and I was practicing a lot of gratitude for like a week now but I feel like I'm losing him when he's not texting me or calling. I feel like he's giving me breadcrumbs and saying he's just super busy and tells me everything in full detail and I'm inclined to believe him.

4. i don't know what the 3d is.

5. I don't know what you mean about the old story. Maybe if I'm living in the past a lot then yes, i feel like it's my way of survival to not fall for the same traps. To be in the Divine Fem energy one must treat every day as if it's sacred and let go of the past and heal from these wounds that make me feel sad and dependent on someone else's attention to feel secure.

6. No I think I have to hold on like the hanged man.

7. Yes of course I've been a living victim my whole life now I'm trying to change that but it's hard. My crush is not responsible for me he has no obligation to text me, he does it because he wants to and I'm very grateful.

8. Yes i worry about the outcome all the time. My mother said not to and have complete faith. If I need rest, to take it unapologetically. Truly believe the outcome will be positive.

9. No, this is a solo gig.

10. I do but I need the tips to make me feel like I'm doing it right and it won't fail....🤯 Instead of just doing it and believing it will no matter what 🤯🤯🤯🤯

11. I'm really trying to 🥺❤️‍🔥

Thank you.

if you are struggling to manifest, ask yourself these questions!

reminder: you are limitless!

do you have any limiting beliefs regarding the amount of time it should take to manifest?

are you taking more time consuming loa content than actually manifesting?

are you asking other blogs why it isn’t here yet?

are you checking the 3d, and then reacting to it?

are you thinking or talking about the old story?

do you think that because you spiraled you “failed” and should give up?

do you often enter a victim mindset? that someone else is responsible for you?

do you worry about your circumstances, making you doubt that your desire will come?

are you demanding other people to manifest or go into the void FOR YOU, instead of doing it yourself?

are you watching tiktoks that say you’re required to do xyz in order to manifest?

do you TRULY realize your power, that you create your reality, and that it can change at any moment the moment you say it will?