#i hav. so many thoughts about him

[izukuer]

vampire mikey isnt even cool hes such a loser. hes trembling and on the verge of death like all the time. he has the immune system of a victorian orphan AND he was experimented on so hes really going through it. at least he has his gay lover edgar to nurse him back to health. at least theres that

[cescalr]

Oooh, definitely glee for the fandom asks! <3

Always with the hornets' nests with these ones, I see! Though i don't think there's a fandom out there that isn't in some way a hornets' nest once it gets large enough... hm. Alright. I'm just gonna be as honest as i can be about this, and tag accordingly.

Glee:

my favourite female character: augh. argh. ouph. so difficult. so hard. Since I'm working off of half-remembered show and half recently-rewatched show... its a tossup. Mercedes, Santana, Quinn. Probably Mercedes. She did nothing wrong ever in her entire life <3 well okay maybe except that one time she smashed kurt's car windows (but it was a banger song, though). Can't say Santana because of the Biphobia TM and other things like excessive use of bigotry-based insults, and Quinn. Oh god girl. Cheating is not cool! Funnily enough! So I find them really interesting but 'favourite' is hard to say. Mercedes. Mercedes for sure <3

my favourite male character: Blaine sam blaine sam blaine sam yes. I am imitating ripping petals off of flowers and coming to a conclusion based on which is the last name i said. So I guess that means Sam! But really this is a tie.

my favourite book/season/etc: Mannnnn idk. I don't like shows for seasons as-a-whole. Also i could not tell you what happened in any given season if you held a gun to my head. I'm not good at that. The only shows i know 'seasons' of are Buffy and Teen Wolf because i've watched them like 100000000000 times (exaggeration) for various reasons (mostly fanfiction research).

my favourite episode (if its a tv show): I can tell you my LEAST favourite episode (blame it on the alcohol, thank you Kurt king of biphobia! this is a persona foible it's not the worst episode in the show. by far. by far. it's kind of an average one. I'm just angry at it.) BUT er. Favourite? Idk. Genuinely some of the earlier Kurt-centric stuff was really well done (his convo with Burt... <3) and the Quinn giving birth accompanied by bohemian rhapsody was obviously iconic, but if I'll be honest I couldn't name any episodes of this show (other than That One previously stated, anyway). And yeah most of the time they were named after song titles and No i don't remember those song titles either. I'm just so bad at this. My memory is that of a goldfish's being haphazardly bounced around on a sieve.

my favourite cast member: it would be really funny if I said Demi Lovato [she counts!] but the truth is N/A: i don't know these people !!! They are strangers!! (i don't. follow celebrities. at all. I couldn't even name most of them. They're just people doing a job and their lives are irrelevant to me beyond their ability to perform that job well. I do not need to know where they live and what coffee they drink. Stalker shit tbh. I'm kind of a very private person myself, so rpf-adjacent stuff just... creeps me out. I've never watched a single cast interview in my lifetime and I'm not about to start!)

my favourite ship: Difficult to say! Grave and obvious lie. Blam. It's blam. Quintana is a close runner up though Santana really needs to stop dating people who cheat on the regular (I'll accept Quinn has grown enough not to do this by the time a Quintana coupling would be viable - and satisfying in terms of character arcs - narratively speaking).

a character I’d die defending: Blaine Anderson did something wrong for sure but like Kurt did it first so shrugs. Cancels out. Bad for each other! Case closed!

a character I just can’t sympathize with: genuinely don't remember if I had one of those the first time around because I was like 10 and just didn't pay attention if I didn't care, but Terri and her racist self take that 'prize' this time, alongside the obvious predator in the room [original choir teacher. Sandy? I forget his name immediately after hearing it. He doesn't deserve to be remembered]. Also JBI is just.... a yikes character all around. I mean, he's a blatant stereotype for one, in a the people who wrote this person don't like jews kind of way. Unfortunately common stereotype too, for the era, so not only is he that, he's also lazy. Just a one-note pervert who's the butt of various antisemitic 'jokes' you've heard from era-peer shows a million times over, tired and awful and a sour reminder of bigotry that continues to this day. Really regrettable character who's lack of redeeming qualities was probably purposeful. (I know Rachel and tina are also jewish, but this comes up very rarely and mostly only when santana needs to say something kind of fucked up, as is her modus operandi, for 'comic relief'. Tina's jewish-ness wasn't even canon for several seasons, because she didn't have a surname or a family or anything resembling complex character depth for several seasons. The one time I really remember Rachel's religion being important was when she was pressuring Kurt into believing in some kind of god, which??? don't do that. Bad example. Trying to guilt trip a friend into faith sucks. I take back what i said earlier Mercedes did that too. Boo. Girls try again that was a bad showing all around. Though i have no idea why Kurt went the acupuncture route as his 'secular' option but i think that has to do a lot with the writers doing literally no research ever once in their lives (you can tell they don't by the way they write the football segments of the show, which make no sense according to football fans who watch Glee, of which there are numerous because real life isn't like fiction where you can only like music or sports. Most of the kids in my school year were doing the most of everything ever if they were the 'popular' ones - we do that differently; popularity isn't really based on who know know; for some bizzare reason literally everyone knew who I was? Even people I'd never spoken to?? - but more about like... how much you can do, I guess. Overachievers, but I'm not saying that negatively; these people were generally - generally - very nice, and surprisingly chill for people who had no spare time whatsoever. I'm not entirely sure when they slept; A* across the board, at least one sport, at least one instrument, several extracurriculars, parties every weekend, dozens of friends and an s.o. . Eh? Way too much going on. Scary lifestyle! Impressive burnout rate, probably. Er. Tangent! Back to the scheduled programming).) There's uhhhh there's a lot of bad characters on the show, but i'd say Sandy and Terri and her equally but more loudly racist sister are truly completely irredeemable ones. Like they're not interesting or anything, they're just there to be narrative annoyances (which, in the case of Sandy specifically, is insane. Arrest that man!!! He has actively sexually assaulted minors!!!).

a character I grew to love: difficult to say because I tend to just make an opinion and stick to it. Also i don't remember who i liked at first and who i didn't, this show came out when i was eight. I didn't watch it until I was a little older than that, of course, but I frankly have spotty memory until my late teens, so! I'm not sure!! Quinn, probably. Pink-hair-era Quinn helped me understand her more, and seeing the moments of kindness hidden behind practical cruelty, when you understand her family and situation, makes things make a lot more sense. It takes a lot to get me to sympathise with a cheater, but I can see where Quinn was getting all turned around in her head about life because of her upbringing and socialisation, not to mention the profoundly negative impact cheerios had on her mentally and that the school's culture in general was not exactly a breeding ground for empathy and optimism.

my anti otp: can you tell (klaine). I don't dislike Kurt!!! Please let him have a fun chillaxed boyfriend in new york with his vogue friends. But also please stop attempting to control other people's diets thank you!! Thank you!! I'm of mixed feelings. Blaine and Kurt both did at least one bad, relationship-ending thing, and proved over and over again that they just weren't on the same wavelength in regards to life goals and ways of living it. They can't even share the same living space, which is kind of required for a functional marriage. I don't know, it just seems like they settled for their first proper, serious boyfriend even if that's not really the best match, and I... wish they'd just got to see more of life first, you know? They got married at like 20! Or something! I'm 23, I cannot imagine getting married at 20. That's a baby. Let them live first!

(same for Santana and Brittney, imo. I also don't really like them together because Santana and Brittney have very different ideas regarding monogamy, which is just never going to go down well in the long run. If your girl cheats on you like twenty times and tells you to your face its not cheating in her view of things, but you think it is, break up with her because you'll just make each other miserable. Brittney sort of seems incapable of feeling guilt but if she were, this kind of moral pressure would be Not Good, and obviously Santana isn't comfortable with the idea and doesn't have to be!! Just move on!!! Find other people!!!! Don't marry your first girlfriend if you've broken up like ten times this is simple!!!! Please!!!! But Klaine wins out over Brittana because - in my opinion, glee fandom please do not persecute me, I am known for this specific thing - I see... interactions that verge on abusive between Klaine that I don't see in Brittana. So. Oof? Ex; use of public perception to disguise attack; deliberately hurting Blaine in a stage-combat fencing match (you are not meant to make actual contact in these) and thus using Blaine's own dislike of making his difficulties common knowledge against him in order to 'punish' him. This is no good! Don't do this!!.[Also just to err vaguepost about a comment.... that is. not. what i would call passive aggressive. Physically attacking someone with a sword - no matter the type of sword, fencing foils hurt just as much, they're just not stab-you sharp... er, these days - is just straight-up aggressive.]).

Note that negative things stick in the mind better than positive ones; on a rewatch I may well alter my opinion!

But also I'm really, really stubborn. So it's not likely. Klaine.

[zemnarihah]

hm. my dad is now aware that i have slept over at eriks when i visit him.

[fllagellant]

BRO CANNOT BE SERIOUS SAYING ALLLLLL THAT 😭😭😭😭

[cookiescribble]

Extracurricular

(gif source)

A/N: this has been sitting in my drafts fully written for like a month, i’m so sorry 😅 but i know we all love the professor episode, so I had to write a little something about it 🫶🏻 - mod angel

Pairing: Professor!Reid x Wife!Reader

Summary: Spencer is confused about why so many students are auditing his class. As his wife, you decide to come and investigate.

~~~

You heard the apartment door open, glancing up to see Spencer drop his keys on the table by the door. 

You were reading on the couch, laying down and killing time before it was time for him to come home. You sat up, placing your bookmark on the page you last read before dropping your book on the coffee table. “Welcome home,” you smiled up at him. 

He flashed a little smile, but you could tell something was up. You moved to sit cross-legged, making room for him on the couch. “What’s wrong?” You asked, patting the spot next to you so he could sit. 

He plopped down on the couch, sighing, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into you. 

“You looked so excited this morning,” you ran your fingers through his hair, something that had become routine when he came back from a tough case, or just needed some extra affection for any reason. “What happened?”

He sighed again, turning to look at you, resting his head back on the couch. “I don’t know, I was really excited to teach. I love sharing what I know with people.”

You nodded, fully aware of this. It was something you loved about him, always eager to teach you something new. It was annoying when other people did it, but not when Spencer did it. “Uh-huh. So what’s the problem?”

“I… I was eager to be an actual professor, hoping I could help people with their studies and their grades.” He looked a little frustrated. “But most people are only auditing the class. Only a handful aren’t.”

You nodded thoughtfully. “That’s not what you were expecting, huh?”

He shook his head. “I mean, I guess it’s good that people want to learn about this stuff? It’s just not how I pictured it.” He shrugged, running a hand through his hair. “At least they’re listening to me. And some of them are pretty enthusiastic about participating. There were a few girls who seemed really excited about this stuff.”

You looked at him, narrowing your eyes a bit, a little smile on your face. “Wait, so… these people are auditing your class. And girls are participating… you said they listen to you… do you think they’re paying a little too much attention to you?” You inquired, slightly amused.

He gave you a confused look. “What do you mean? I think it’s a normal amount of attention to pay to a class.” He shrugged. “I mean, I always felt like no one was paying enough attention when I was in college, so I was pleasantly surprised that people were actually participating, asking questions, some of them even stayed for a bit after the class let out because they wanted to know more.”

You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. “Uh-huh… so, you got college students to not only stay awake, but alert and attentive… and they wanted to stay after class,” you spoke slowly, wondering if he would get the hint.

He nodded. “Yeah? Why?”

You gave him a pat on the shoulder, smiling and shaking your head. “Yeah, I know exactly why so many people are auditing your class.”

He still looked confused. Very oblivious. It was kind of adorable. “I don’t understand,” he replied, his brows furrowed.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, twirling a finger in his hair. “They must’ve heard that this class has a sexy professor.” You laugh softly, watching the cogs turn in his brain as he processed this.

He scrunched his nose a bit, shaking his head. “No, I don’t think that…” He stopped, his eyes darting around as he became deep in thought. Probably perfectly recalling everything from his class that day. “… You really think that’s it?”

You nodded, kissing his cheek. “It’s adorable you wouldn’t have even considered that if I didn’t say anything.” He was absentmindedly running his thumb over your hand that rested on his shoulder. “I mean, I don’t blame them. I’d definitely audit your class.” You took his hand and started twirling his wedding band around his ring finger. “Did you tell them you’re married?”

He started to blush a little at the attention you were giving him, and at the thought of other people wanting to give him attention. “I’m pretty sure I mentioned it at some point… I think someone asked about it-“ He cut himself off, looking at you again. “Okay, maybe you’re right.”

You laughed, draping your legs over his as you gave him a quick kiss on the lips, which he returned. “Maybe I should visit your class, see what all the fuss is about,” you winked at him.

He smiled, running his fingers through your hair. “I don’t know if I’d be able to concentrate with you there.” He leaned in to kiss your forehead. “But, I admit, it would be nice.”

The conversation eventually fizzled out, as you and Spencer naturally fell into your usual evening routine; mostly just sitting on the couch in each other’s arms, talking, watching TV, and eating dinner. 

You had an idea in your head the whole time, keeping it to yourself. You had a surprise planned out now. 

…

The next day, after Spencer left for his class, you quickly got dressed to head out, throwing on a sweater and modest skirt with some flats. Nothing too fancy, you wanted to fit in with the other students. 

You remembered him telling you the building his class was in, and you were able to slip in like you were supposed to be there. You found the classroom after wandering for a while, quite a few students already sat in the class. Of course; very eager, you thought

You thought about just sitting in the back to blend in with the background, but something possessed you to sit in the middle near the other girls in the class. Not really jealousy; you knew Spencer has never even given anyone else a second glance since you started dating. It was more like… pride. Perhaps a smug feeling. You may be infatuated, but that’s my husband.

You sat down near a group of girls, and they eyed you for a moment. You fidgeted, thinking they were going to start whispering bad things about you. Habit from when you were in school. 

Instead, one of the girls leaned over, speaking to you in a friendly tone. “Hey, are you new to this class?”

You probably should have just admitted that you weren’t actually a student, but part of you just wanted to see what would happen. “Yeah, this is my first time here.”

She leaned in to whisper, “Did you hear about the professor? Is that why you’re here?” She was giving you a genuine look, seemingly just curious. Or maybe happy to talk to someone about this. 

You feigned innocence. “No, I was just interested in the subject. Is there something special about him?” You reply in the same hushed tone as her.

She looked at the other girls around her, and they all giggled. One of the other girls responded. “He’s super hot. Didn’t you hear the rumors?”

You bit back a smile. It felt strange, having people talk about him like this. “No, I didn’t hear anything. Is that really true?” You tried to seem interested, without being conspicuous. 

All the girls nodded. You leaned in a bit to match their enthusiasm. 

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” one of the girls whispered. “He said he’s very happily married.” She all but rolled her eyes at that. 

A little smile appeared on your face, a warm feeling rushing over you. You put your hand under the table, hiding your wedding ring. “Really? Well… maybe I can have better luck with him.” You rested your chin in your other hand, smiling smugly. 

She scoffed, obviously not believing you. “Yeah, sure. He wouldn’t even look at any of us.” She shook her head. “If you want to believe it, go ahead. I’ll be waiting to say I told you so.”

You were cut off by the sound of a door opening and closing. Spencer stepped out in front of everyone, putting some papers down on his desk. The girls immediately stopped their conversation, sitting up straighter in their chairs and facing forwards. You covered your mouth to keep yourself from snickering. 

Spencer greeted the class, who echoed back his greeting. He started to introduce the material he was going to be talking about today, when his eyes settled on you. His expression softened. 

You gave him a little wink and a subtle wave. He looked like he was holding back a smile, looking away from you to concentrate on teaching. 

It was really a sight to behold, he had most of the class twirling their hair, wrapped around his finger without him even realizing. Not like you could blame the students; he was always able to make everything seem fun and exciting. It was something you loved about him. 

The class seemed to fly by. You were honestly glad you came; you could watch him talk for hours. You’re sure he would if you asked, and you were considering it after seeing this. 

When he dismissed the class, the girls started swarming him at his desk. You laughed and rolled your eyes, standing up slowly and hanging back a bit. 

You could see him politely answering questions, ignoring the girls sitting on his desk and quickly packing up his things. 

You walked closer to his desk, and he looked up and smiled. “Hey!” He called out to you, rushing over to wrap you up in a hug. You could feel the stares on you as you settled into his arms, and he kissed your forehead. “I didn’t know you were coming today!”

You smiled up at him. “I thought I’d surprise you.” You reached up to give him a quick peck on the lips, solidifying the jealous eyes that were glaring daggers at you. You couldn’t help it; you felt a pride building up inside you that you were the one he sought out while he was being crowded like this. “Surprise?”

He laughed, tucking you into his side, his arm around your waist. “Yeah, surprise.” He turned to everyone who was still lingering around you, their faces a mix of confusion and jealousy. “Everyone, this is my wife.”

You gave a small wave, everyone greeting you halfheartedly. You locked eyes with the girl who initially approached you earlier. She seemed more embarrassed than angry. 

Spencer gave you one last little hug. “I have a few things to finish up, I’ll meet you home later, okay?”

You nodded, giving him one last little parting kiss before he slung his bag over his shoulder and started to walk out of the classroom door. 

Everyone was looking at you again, and you felt a little embarrassed now that Spencer wasn’t there with you. You started to excuse yourself quietly, trying to get out the door quickly without bringing more attention to yourself. 

You heard someone catch the door after it almost closed behind you. “Hey,” they called out as they caught up to you. 

You turned to see the same girl again, and you had to suppress your instinct to run away. Instead, you just nodded at her, giving her your attention since that was obviously what she was asking for. 

“I, uh…” she started, her tone nervous. “What I said earlier, I wasn’t trying to say anything bad about you, I was just…” 

You gave a soft chuckle in response, shaking your head. “It’s alright. I get it.” You gave a little wave of dismissal. “I might’ve done the same if I was in your position.”

That seemed to ease her worries a bit. “Thanks for being cool about this.” She hugged the books she was carrying closer to her chest. She spoke a little softer. “Dr. Reid spoke very highly of you, you know. When we asked about his wedding ring.” She flinched a bit. “Which I guess was kind of a weird thing to ask…”

You smiled, shaking your head a bit. He had people asking about his wedding ring, and he didn’t even have a second thought about it. “It’s alright. He didn’t even think anything of it. He thought you were just really interested in the course material.”

She furrowed her brows. “Really?” She still looked confused when you nodded. “Huh. Well, I guess he really loves you if he doesn’t even notice people flirting with him.”

You shrugged. “No, he’s just a little clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. I had to really spell it out for him that I was interested in him when I asked him out on our first date.” You smiled warmly at the memory, reliving those early days of your relationship, so long ago now.

She let out a soft laugh. “That’s kinda funny, actually.” She stopped walking, looking like she had to start walking a different way. “So… no hard feelings?”

You turned towards her and shook your head. “No, not at all. Maybe try not to come onto him in the future, though.” You smiled slightly, your tone light and casual.

“Of course,” she laughed awkwardly. “Um. I have to go to class now, so…”

You nodded at her. “Go ahead. Hope you have a good day.”

She smiled. “You’re really cool. I see why he likes you. Most people would’ve been really angry if they were in this situation.”

“Well, I’m not insecure about our relationship.” You felt your phone buzz, and you took it out of your pocket to see a text from Spencer, making you smile. “And I don’t fault anyone for being attracted to him.”

“Cool,” she said, starting to step back a little more. “Um. It was nice meeting you.”

You gave her a little wave. “You too. Hope you enjoy the class; Spencer is really happy to be able to teach people, so I hope everyone is actually listening to him and not just staring at him.” 

She laughed lightly, her demeanor a little warmer now. “I’ll try to get the message out.” She waved and said goodbye before turning around and walking away. 

You finally looked at the text Spencer sent you: 

Hey, do you think you could pick up some dessert on your way home? I’m really craving something sweet. Maybe we could make brownies?

You smiled to yourself. Seeing all those people throwing themselves at Spencer really made you appreciate what you had with him. He had people gawking over him, but you were the one who got to go home with him and make dessert, and have all these sweet moments with him. You’d never get over just how lucky you were to be the one he chose to spend his life with. 

[stellamarielu]

sweetheart

declan o'hara x female reader

summary: working late with your boss (who you have a massively embarrassing crush on) was a normal occurrence for you. not a normal occurrence? him finding your favorite smutty romance novel and asking too many questions about it.

content: mutual pining, nsfw themes, age gap i guess, not actual smut but there are implications, teasing, some dirty talk (bc let's be real it's "how would you have liked him to touch you" declan)

author's note: so this is the first writing i've posted on here because this man and his hairy chest have me in a chokehold. the internet deserves more rivals fics!

——————————————————————

It was the third Thursday in a row you found yourself still at work after everyone else had gone home. You were sat across from your boss, the only thing separating you was an office desk. The piece of furniture was obnoxiously oversized, but you were thanking the universe for it because if Declan was sat even an inch closer, he would probably be able to hear your heart pounding. You had such a ridiculous crush on him. You knew it was inappropriate, but you couldn’t seem to care less. So here you were working overtime just to sit and gawk at him. Pathetic.

Sometimes you swore there was some sort of tension between the two of you. The accidental stares that lingered a little too long. The careful touch of his hand on your lower back when he passed behind you. Sure, you were probably reading too far into it, but in the back of your mind you hoped that he saw you as more than a young naïve coworker. 

Your delusions were further fueled by Declan’s constant invitations to join him in his office on Thursday nights. You couldn’t help but wonder if he knew that you would stay late every single night if he asked you to. 

But of course, he knew. 

He knew you thought he was attractive. He knew that his presence made you nervous. He knew that you had an embarrassing schoolgirl crush on him, and he liked it. 

Not only did he like the idea of you wanting him, but Declan reciprocated it. He spent most days with his gaze trained on the work laid out in front of him to avoid eye contact with you. He knew the second your eyes met he wouldn’t be able to control the small smile that tugged at his lips. He would never admit it, but he lived for making you giggle. The sound of your laugh was irresistible. He would crack little jokes throughout the day just to hear it.

Your voice alone was like music to his ears- christ, even the way you said his name drove him insane. He could feel warmth spreading through his chest just thinking about it.

The thoughts he had about you were unbecoming. Thoughts a boss shouldn’t have about their employee let alone an employee that was almost half their age. 

So, he tried his best to suppress his feelings and treat you as he would any other coworker. But it sure as hell didn’t help when you were always so quick to stay late and help him with his work. Granted he knew by asking you to assist him after hours he was just digging himself deeper into this newfound obsession. But he couldn’t help it, he longed to be in your presence even if it was just an extra hour or two once a week. 

These nights were mostly filled with silence but the occasional banter about office drama or a Keats work that you both admired was enough to have him wrapped around your finger day after day.

“What was that article you were tellin’ me about?” His question breaks the silence that had been occupying the room for the last fifteen minutes. 

You look up from your busy work only to be met with his kind eyes. For a man that had no problem showing his angry side, you felt lucky that you so often got to experience a version of Declan that was calm and light-hearted. You sometimes thought he had a sweet spot for you, although you came to terms with it probably being because you reminded him of his daughter who was just a few years younger than you.  

“Oh. Yeah. I forgot about that. Hold on I think I have it in here.” You began the search for an article you had mentioned to him that morning. It was an old gossip piece that you thought would be good for him to use on the show tomorrow night. 

You began taking things out of your bag one by one trying your best to find the paper in your giant unorganized tote. Notepads, books, a handful of pens, and your favorite lipstick that you thought you lost months ago are now strewn across Declan’s desk as you continue digging through your belongings. 

A small chuckle escapes Declan making you stop your search for a split second. Your head snaps up expecting to see him looking at you in irritation for creating such a mess, instead you notice his attention on one of the books you had taken out of your bag. Looking down you realize your copy of Lizzie Vereker’s novel was sat on his desk. A novel that was well known for its extremely erotic contents… and your copy was so worn the spine was barely intact. 

Before you could try to say something to make the situation less mortifying Declan spoke, 

“I see you’ve read Lizzie’s book then.” 

There was no questioning his amusement. He seemed to be enjoying how awkward this was for you. 

“That Lizzie is a quirky gal, but a truly great author.” He finished and picked up the book thumbing through the pages. 

“She gave me a copy after the garden party last month. When she mentioned to me that she was a writer, this-” you said motioning to the book, “wasn’t exactly what I had in mind”

You giggled as you spoke and the second the sound left your lips Declan’s eyes met yours. There was something about his stare now that you couldn’t place. 

“So I take it you’ve read it then?” You asked him, needing to say something to keep yourself from full on passing out in embarrassment. You wish you had asked something else because you desperately needed to change the subject from the smutty pages Declan held in his hands. 

“My-“ He paused, “Maud read it years ago. I remember readin’ a bit of it myself. Absolute filth.” 

He was looking back down at the book while his hands found the worn spine, a smirk plastered on his face. 

Okay, so now he knew you were so miserably horny that you not only read the book, but you enjoyed it so much that you must’ve re-read it multiple times- hence the condition of the novel. 

“You certainly seem to be a fan of her work.”

With this comment your humiliation began turning into irritation. Was he trying to further embarrass you by implying that you’ve clearly enjoyed the book? Can a woman not read exceptionally horny literature in peace? Now you’re becoming annoyed by the whole conversation. Afterall, it’s really none of Declan’s business what you do in your free time.  

“Yeah, well I spend a lot of nights alone in my apartment Declan.” You deadpan. “I’ve found the dating pool in this town to be quite depressing and I’m 99% sure the men in that book are much better than anyone I would meet here anyway.” 

You haven’t been living here long, it’s been maybe three months since you got the job to be a production assistant on Declan’s show. You’ve been working so much that you haven’t had much time to scope out the town’s most eligible bachelors, but from what you’ve seen you’re not interested. Not to mention the inconveniently debilitating crush that you had on your boss keeping you from noticing anyone else at all. 

“Oh and why’s that?” He challenges. This time looking you straight in the eyes, a smirk still playing on his lips.

Alright, he wanted to keep this up so why not. Two could play at this game. 

“For starters, these men” You steal the book out of his hands, “are written by women. Meaning they have empathy, they’re emotionally expressive and socially aware. Seemingly simple character traits but you would be shocked by how many men I’ve met in the last few months who lack the basic complexity of a fictional character.”

His smirk has turned into a full-blown smile making your body feel warm. 

“Not to mention the men in this book are capable of making a woman cum not just once but multiple times in a row. Which seems to be an impossible task for every man I’ve been with.” You continue your rant. Declan’s eyes fixed on you.

“These guys are getting off on a woman’s pleasure” you tap your book, “truly enjoying making their partner feel good. Meanwhile in reality, most men don’t even care if you finish as long as they get theirs.”  The second the words leave your mouth you realize you’re talking about orgasms with your unbelievably handsome boss staring right at you and immediately feel the need to hide underneath the desk in front of you. 

You look at Declan and notice his expression has gone from playful to something more serious. His lips show no evidence of a smile, instead they’re now relaxed and somewhat parted. His deep brown eyes are slightly hooded, and you could’ve sworn you noticed his chest rising and falling at a rather quick pace. He waits a few moments before standing from his chair and slowly making his way to your side of the desk.

“Well sweetheart,” 

Your mouth gapes open at the words. He’s never called you that. But hearing the pet name fall from his lips in such a deep raspy tone sends shivers down your spine. 

“I’ll have you know the kind of men you’re talkin’ about from your book do indeed exist.”

No longer separated by the desk he now stood right next to you, close enough that you could smell his cologne and the cigarette smoke that lingered on his suede blazer. 

“Some men relish in their partner’s pleasure. They can’t get enough of the way their body reacts to their touch. The way they look so needy and desperate for release.” 

He stops for a brief second. His eyes slowly drop to your feet and take their sweet time coming back up to meet your eyes, steadily drinking in the sight of your body underneath him as you sit still in your chair.

“The pretty noises they make as they come undone.”

His Irish accent sounds heavier than normal, and his voice is hushed. Your body is frozen in place and the room suddenly feels ten degrees hotter. His words are stirring something thick and foggy in your head and you can’t think straight. You’re all too aware of how close you are to him. Your face a mere foot away from his crotch. You’re able to make out the intricately braided patterns in his belt and you try to stop yourself from letting your eyes sink lower to what’s beneath it. 

Declan watches your gaze fall, and his mind starts to race. Knowing any second now his attraction to you will be evident by the strain of his pants. He gently takes your chin in his fingertips and pulls your gaze upward so you’re looking up at him through your lashes. 

Fuck- that sight alone is enough to make him finish in his pants like a teenage boy.

You looking up at him with innocent eyes, your lips parted just inches away from his hips- he thinks he may die right there on the spot. The effect you have on him is intoxicating, clouding his thoughts and almost making him see stars. What he says next comes from a place of carnal desire surprising even him, 

“Unbelievable that the men who’ve had the privilege of bein’ with you don’t even know how to fuck you properly. If I had you in my bed I would take my sweet time makin’ you cum over and over again until you’re beggin’ me to stop.”

As he speaks the hand that was resting underneath your chin gradually makes its way down, his fingertips now ghosting your jawline. 

“You deserve somebody who knows how to make you feel good sweetheart.”

There he goes with that nickname again. This time he says it and you can’t deny the warmth that pools between your thighs.  

Just as you open your mouth to respond, Declan’s phone starts to ring. Your eyes remain locked on one another as the incessant noise continues. You were beginning to think Declan would ignore the call so he could continue dirty talking you into a puddle, but he stood up straight from his position at the desk and began walking to the other side of the room. Answering the phone, he gazed back at you running a hand through his curls, nothing but lust in his eyes.

You sat up in your chair, blinking slowly and trying to gather your scattered thoughts. You weren’t sure what had just happened, but you did know one thing. 

The next time you found yourself that close to Declan O’hara’s belt you would be undoing it. 

find part 2 here

my masterlist

[hollowistheworld]

There are already so many delicious meta posts on everyone's specific thoughts on what's going on in Illario's head, but I am jumping in myself because he and Lucanis are making me CRAZY

I think that soooo much of his jealousy is that he and Lucanis get treated as a binary. Damn near every time Lucanis talks about something he is or isn't good at, he brings up how Illario is the opposite. It isn't just that they're constantly being compared (already something that's going to be super damaging to both of them and their relationship) but there's such a strong sense that they're not allowed to overlap.

Like, Lucanis is better at physical combat? Okay, so Illario is bad at it. It doesn't matter that he's still very good, that's he's good enough to still be a living, working Crow at the ripe old age of 30+, as a member of the First Talon's family no less. It doesn't matter that he's good enough to drop down from the ceiling (when and how did you get up there???) and kill Zara before anyone can register he's there. It doesn't matter that he's still a significant boss, even once you factor out the Venatori. He's worse than Lucanis, so Lucanis is the 'good' assassin and Illario is the 'bad' one.

In the reverse, Lucanis's self-esteem about his social skills is in the DIRT. He is CONSTANTLY bringing up how Illario is the people person. Even when, in the same breath, he says Illario only ever had relationships with people he didn't like and they never lasted, he's still saying Illario is better at it. And because Illario is better with people, he's 'good' at it, and Lucanis is 'bad' at it.

In any discussion with or about Lucanis and Illario there is, apparently, zero overlap in their skill sets. Despite the fact that that's very obviously not true. But they've been set against each other so thoroughly that they don't even realize it. Because presumably Caterina started training them and they had a knack for some skills more than others and rather than encouraging them to teach other or partner up to boost each other's strengths, she was most likely going "Look, Illario, your cousin did that move so much better than you, be more like that," and "Lucanis, Illario perfected this ages ago, it is not that hard to convince someone you're harmless" and all they got was that one of them was the assassin and one of them was the conman and never the two shall meet.

And Caterina, of course, heavily favors Lucanis. And I imagine there's a million reasons why - starting with the fact that it sounds like his mother was the last favorite. (And how can Illario compete with that? He'll never be the son of the favorite.) But I think a big reason is Lucanis's skill set. Maybe he's the most like her. Maybe she thinks if he's good in combat, he won't die like all the others did. Has she just written Illario off as a lost cause, certain to get himself killed? Not consciously, I'm sure, but subconsciously? Easy to imagine. Easy for Illario to feel that way, whether it's true or not.

And then!! He's being babysat! This idea that Lucanis is the one who can fight (and therefore Illario cannot) has taken hold so deeply that Lucanis feels like he has to look out for Illario, has to protect him, and of course that's bundled up in the 'we're all we have left' but when you're suffocating under the weight of your cousin being a mother hen that feels much less sympathetic. And when you're a 30+ assassin it's gonna feel pretty aggravating if everyone acts like you need your cousin to help you tie your shoes in the morning.

And I don't think either of them realize this. Introspection is not a Crow skill. All Illario knows is he can't be a good assassin while Lucanis is alive, because only one of them can be a good assassin. And that built and built and I think the opportunity to have Lucanis killed crossed his path, and he - Well, despite what Caterina might think, he is a very good Crow. So he took the opportunity. And then he couldn't go back.

And what does he have, under this binary? At least the good fighter, the good assassin, can have a talent for other athletic work, a passion for knives. At least the favorite can find another hobby without feeling grandmother breathing down his neck, asking why he's learning a new skill when he hasn't even mastered the important one. What's under a conman, a grifter, a politician? Sure, he can make people like him, but he can he ever connect with them enough to like them back? Does he know who he is? Would he know where to begin to try and find out?

I'd argue that - whether he knows it or not - is the biggest reason he tried to have Lucanis killed. He doesn't know who he is other than Caterina's least favorite grandson, Lucanis's cousin. He doesn't know how to find out.

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

kiss kiss fall in love | s.r. x pregnant!fem reader

your hormones have peeked at your five month mark. your belly started to properly show now and your tastebuds were only slightly concerning. at least the morning sickness was gone, top two worst things about pregnancy, second having to give birth.

you lounged on the couch as you watched your daughter and husband playing on the floor, bits of their hair covered their faces in a curtain. spencer was already teaching her the ways of chess, she asked him many questions.

“how come the queen isn’t wearing a gold crown? she’s special.” holding a black chess piece in her small palm. you chuckled at the childish question.

“well she is wearing a crown, but if you want we can paint it gold. she is the most important piece of the game.” spencer agreed with annabeth, ruffling her locks. he stood from the ground, made a quick stop to kiss your cheek and went into the hallway to comeback with the craft supplies box. he pulled out the paint pens, “why don’t you decorate all of them how you want? it’ll be our special set.”

annabeth went quick to work on coloring over the pieces, some covered in swirled and dots while others had hearts or stars. she even drew a couple of happy expressions, then one sad one, “because he’s just a pawn.” you and spencer chuckled at her reasoning.

you rubbed your palm along your swollen stomach, old stretch marks reappearing at the bottom. your cotton shorts and simple tank feeling suffocating even with minimal fabric. “oh!” a tiny yelp from your lips, eyes widening and mouth pursing.

spencer snapped his head your way, “what’s wrong?” hurrying over to you. annabeth stopped her work to watch both of you with her big eyes. you let a smile ease onto your face, “the baby kicked.”

annabeth scrambled over, “can i feel?” tucking her hands into her chest for restraint. “of course, sweets. here,” holding a palm out for her tiny hand to sit and you guided it over to where the kick happened.

“try speaking to them. they like hearing our voices,” whispering to your daughter when the baby didn’t kick right away. little annabeth leaned in close, her lips grazing your ticklish skin, “i can’t wait to meet you. i’m gonna be the best big sister to you.”

it took a moment but then another kick appeared, “kick! i felt a kick!” she squealed, giving a little jump to her body. she looked to spencer, “daddy! daddy feel the baby!” reaching for his hand like you did earlier.

spencer cooed and gasped with annabeth when another kick appeared. “hi little one,” spencer whispered close, “i’m your daddy and your big sister is next to me. we can’t wait to meet you.” another strong kick followed.

“okay, how about we give mommy a rest. cause my organs aren’t feeling happy about being a soccer ball.” ruffling at your daughter hair. annabeth pressed a kiss goodbye to the growing baby and went back to her art project.

spencer joined you on the couch, arm thrown behind your head and resting on your shoulders while you leaned into him. “how are you feeling? need anything?” his rich voice caressing your ear and making your heart race.

you turned to him with a bright smile, “i do actually. i need a thousand kisses from you. haven’t been given my usually attention.” pouting exaggerated.

spencer looked surprised, “a thousand? man i must be really behind.” clicking his teeth. you nodded, “you have mister. better get started.” puckering up with your eyes closed.

spencer’s light giggles filled your soul and then his lips on yours caused a craving. “more,” a quiet demand.

a fast peck, “oh this is gonna take awhile.”

a lingering drawl, “we’re getting somewhere.”

another fast kiss, but you could tell spencer didn’t move far away. his breath tingled your wet lips, “i’m gonna have to call hotch to babysit if you want all those kisses.” a fifth kiss before his weight left the couch and his footsteps disappeared. you thought it was a little funny he was gonna call his boss on an off day so your child and his could have that playdate that’s been in the works.

“bethie,” calling for your daughter with outstretched arms. she worked her way beside you on the couch an wrapped her arms in a side hug, here genetic reid puppy eyes glaring upon you. “would you be okay to have a playdate with jack today?” smoothing a hand over the crown of her head.

“really?” eyes wide with excitement. you nodded, “you have to be a good girl for mr and mrs. hotchner. that’s daddy’s boss and our friend, say please and thank you. and also make sure you’re cleaning up after yourself.”

spencer walked back into the living room, “the hotchners are on their way. and they happily agreed to bethie joining them on their trip to the aquarium.” scooping annabeth up, both of them yelling “aquarium! aquarium!”

“i wanna see the stingrays!” annabeth declared to jack when him and hotch appeared at your door fifteen minutes later. the three of you watched the two chat while you packed her little backpack of supplies, you handed it off to hotch with a grateful smile.

“thank you for accepting on short notice. i just really want to be alone with my husband, im deprived of attention. i’m wilting like a flower.” sighing and aching as you talked to hotch.

the older man smiled and lightly chuckled, you’re one of the few to crack that stone facade spencer says. “jack’s been missing her anyway, he was trying for a sleepover as well tonight.” you raised your brows, “we’ll see how the afternoon goes.”

once you were completely alone, you dragged spencer behind you into your shared bedroom. “more kisses please,” sitting at the foot of the bed.

spencer moved to stand in the space between your spread legs, his hands cupping at your cheeks like you were fine china. your wandering fingers slid under his plain t-shirt, sitting in his waistband and rubbing against his slim stomach. “don’t keep me waiting, pretty boy. i will start getting angry.”

spencer bent in and let his plush lips mesh with yours, his nose tickling at your cheek when he changed angles to broaden the intimate act. a hum sounded from your throat as you opened your mouth wider and let your tongue wonder, desperately needing a french kiss. a moan echoed in the room as spencer moved from your lips to your jaw, further down onto your neck.

“this- this is nice,” letting a hand sink into the ends of his hair. your nails scratching at his scalp as your eyes fluttered and pulse spiked.

“i love you so much,” lips causing a shiver to erupt. you sighed, “i- i love you too. so lucky for- for marrying you.” your hands starting to mess with spencer’s belt and zipper.

“gonna show you how loved you are.”

[asunsetgrace16]

Johnny Gaudreau: A Tribute

Johnny Gaudreau was born in Salem, New Jersey.

He was drafted by the Calgary Flames 104th overall in the 4th round of the 2011 NHL Entry Draft. He played hockey for Boston College for 3 seasons, from 2011-2014. He won the National Chapionship title in 2011, and the Hobey Baker Memorial Award as college hockey's best player in 2014.

Johnny spent 9 seasons with the Calgary Flames and 2 with the Columbus Blue Jackets. During his first full season with Calgary, he was selected to go to the 2015 All Star Game and was a Calder Memorial Trophy, and won the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy as the NHL's most gentlemanly player in 2017. He was a 7-time NHL All Star through his career. Johnny was known as "Johnny Hockey" and had incredible skill and success on the ice, despite his size. He played for the Columbus Blue Jackets for the past two seasons and quickly became a favourite.

This is a tribute to our beloved player, may Johnny and Matthew forever rest in peace.

For Johnny...

from me

I am forever going to be sad over losing Johnny, but I am also angry. Two amazing people would still be here if that driver simply decided not to get behind the wheel yesterday night. I wasn't a hockey fan when he was still playing for the Flames, but he was one of four players I knew. He always made me smile when he was shown on camera, and his memory will live on forever in Calgary. His positivity and kindness, his electric game. Johnny was so much more than a hockey player. He was a husband, a father. A son, a brother, a friend, a teammate. My heart and prayers go to his wife and children, parents, sisters, and family. And please, please, take time to grieve. Take time to remember Johnny and what he meant to you, and to the game. Rest in peace, Johnny Hockey, fly high.

I believe that it is a testament to a person's character that when tragedy strikes, there are hundreds or thousands of people mourning for them, regardless of whether they knew each other or not. That is what Johnny has done for the hockey community. His infectious excitement and passion has moved people in ways he probably never imagined. We may never hear Johnny Hockey echo through an arena in celebration of a goal, but we will hear it in celebration of his life, of his game. We will keep his legacy alive. Forever.

Here's to #13

from @chukys-mouthguard

Johnny was never mentioned on my blog prior to this news. And while I know I don’t need to explain or justify my sudden sadness, I’d just like to reiterate this point above. We don’t have to post about someone or obsess over them online to love them. Johnny was never a player I would’ve written fanfiction about or shared unhinged thoughts. I’d loved him and admired him from my time playing hockey, and he was unlike anyone else. I frequently explained that compared to all the other players I love or “obsess” over, Johnny is in a league of his own. The sheer love and admiration I had for what an amazing hockey player, but an even more amazing person he was is something I can’t put into words. Rarely do athletes or celebrities have an impact on me, but Johnny did. The idea that I won’t get to see him take the ice again in Nationwide Arena, I don’t get to hear commentators call him Johnny Hockey anymore, and most importantly the fact that this heartbreaking tragedy is undoubtedly sending shockwaves through a family that was looking forward to a weekend of celebration of love and togetherness at their sister’s wedding. It all hurts. And there are no words right now. I want to blink my eyes and have someone tell me I’m dreaming. My own mother called me on my way to work to tell me the news because she didn’t want me to find out through social media, that’s the impact this man had on me and I’m sure so many fans across the hockey community. My sister even reached out to make sure I was okay. So yeah, people can say “they are just an athlete” or “why are you so upset over someone you don’t know?” And I respect people having those opinions, but when players truly make a mark on the sport and the fans, it resonates with you. Because you feel like you know them, like they invite you into their world and give you a chance to look at them in new ways. My thoughts are with the entire hockey community that knew johnny, and most importantly his family as they endure this terrible loss of Johnny and Matthew 💔

johnny gaudreau has been my favorite nhl player since his college days, and I have no words right now. I have multiple jerseys of his, signed memorabilia, but I sadly never got to meet him and tell him how much i loved him as a person and a player. My love for him, if you know me offline, s was unmatched compared to any other player I obsess over online. This world is so cruel and I’m heartbroken. I’m so thankful to have seen him play on multiple occasions, but blue jackets games will not be the same without his #13 on the ice 💔😞

from @perfectlysaltycat32

I just want to say the passing of Johnny and Matty Gaudreau is such a sad and unfortunate moment. Every time I looked through social media and saw more snippets of what happened and how he is remembered it just gets so much more sadder. It's really tragic how this happened *the day before* their sisters wedding. A time where the whole family is sharing one of their happiest moments, and now it's going to be a time of grief. I think it is absolutely gorgeous how all the Calgary fans came together in memory of them with their memorial. They are truly loved everywhere in the hockey community. I hope that every player has access to good therapy and counseling because this is such a rough way to start the season, but I am glad with how positive all of their friends, family, and teammates are. It really just once again shows how loved both of them are. They had a great life, were amazing people, and it deserved to be longer. But now they can watch over their families, teammates, and friends. I'm sending my condolences to everyone affected. Johnny was an amazing father, husband, son, brother, friend, captain, and teammate. He is and always will be Johnny Hockey. Matty was also an amazing husband, son, brother, teammate, and friend. It is deeply saddening that his wife has to raise her expecting baby without him. I hope everything goes smoothly as they can for her, and she and the baby can be healthy. Everyone loves you both, Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. You will be loved and missed. 🕊️❤️

from @wehaveagathering

When I first got into hockey I heard about a guy named "johnny hockey" and I thought that this was like, a legend — someone like Gretzky or Lemieux, who had been so good that he'd had the game incorporated into his name forever. Imagine my surprise when I learned that this dude was just Johnny Gaudreau, not just a legend but an active one too, one still playing. I thought that was really cool. I figured he must have done something really special to earn that nickname. Turns out it wasn't just what he did — it was who he was. Rest easy, Johnny Hockey. You built a legacy that will live for a long time.

from @traiteursroe

I want to take a moment to talk about Johnny and Matty Gaudreau today. Absolute icons. “Johnny Hockey” has been a name that has been recognizable in sport since 2014. He was a gentleman and a fast fucking skater. His brother Matty was smart and talented. The fact that they’ve been taken away from their families by a drunk driver is heartbreaking and inexcusable. Spare a thought and a prayer for them today.

from @crow-the-unknown

just saw the news about johnny gaudreau and his brother's death and i'm honestly at a loss for words. my heart aches for his family and all the friends he's made throughout his career. i can't even put into words how horrible and devastating this is for everyone in the hockey community. sending my prayers their way. i'm fucking wrecked about this. if i could say more i would but. i don't even know. it doesn't even feel real.

from @callsign-denmark

Rest in Peace Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. This was a horrible and tragic loss to the hockey community but more importantly a tragedy to your families. My prayers go out to them all. The hockey community has woken up today to the tragic knew of the passing of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau who were killed last night while riding their bikes in their hometown by a drunk driver who was speeding while trying to pass other vehicles who were going slow to pass the brothers safely. Both brothers were hit from behind, and died due to their injuries. They were in their home town for their sister Katie's wedding which was set to take place today. Johnny and Matthew were not just hockey players, but brothers, sons, husbands, fathers, uncles and friends to many people who are now without their loved ones on a day that was supposed to be filled with joy and love. Please let all of us in the hockey community, as fans, to take a moment of silence no matter what team you cheer for, and send out a silent prayer to the family who will no longer get to hold Johnny and Matthew in their arms, who will no longer get to watch them grow old playing the game they loved, and to the children growing up without a father and uncle to guide them throughout life and love them. While we feel sorrow and sadness over this lose, it's nothing compared to their families who will have to live this life without them.

from @19mercer

all of the insta story posts from many hockey players, teams, and other sport leagues for johnny and matthew gaudreau make me cry. all of the support for their families is genuinely so sweet. i wish nothing but the best for their families during this hard time. i will forever be grateful that i was able to watch him play in the nationwide arena. i am forever grateful for johnny and his time as a blue jacket. and his time with us. thank you for everything 13. rest easy johnny and matthew.

from @bibliomoth

I adored Johnny because he was a such a small streak of lightning in a game full of huge dudes who were regularly a whole foot taller than him. His skills were just fucking phenomenal and he was so exciting to watch. I screamed with joy and cheered him on so loudly I lost my voice on many occasions. He represented his country for International Competitions and is the highest US point scorer. I could get technical and talk about my favourite goals of his, his stickhandling, dangles, on ice spatial awareness etc but it is all on film for anyone to see, just too much to choose from. Nobody moved like Johnny Hockey. As a person he was a sweet, kind guy who was universally liked in the sport and beyond. I do not follow celebrities on social media, but on hockey forums there are endless stories of his voracious love of mac and cheese (so much so Kraft put him in a TV ad) and skittles candies that he had a hockey stick covered in them and auctioned for charity. In interviews he always talked hockey and his family. Whenever asked about new contracts and paycheques he would just shrug and say ‘yeah I bought my dad a boat so we can go fishing’ or ‘I just got a cool new wheelchair lift installed in my holiday home so my cousin can come and spend time with me’, or change the subject and talk about his dog, his wife and kids or The Birds. He was a real gem of a gentleman, modest and always ready to give credit to his team and dad (legendary NJ coach Guy Gaudreau) who motivated Johnny to skate as a toddler by placing skittles candies on the ice for him to fetch. I’m am so sad for him, his family. This is just a blurb of feels about someone I counted down the days for until I could see them make magic on ice. I wish I could write a good tribute, dammit. Thank you Johnny Hockey.

from @blusical

Johnny was more than a hockey player. He was a friend, father, son, brother, whatever you say. And please, don't forget about Matthew too. In fact, don't forget about any of the Gaudreau family, they're struggling too.

from @slavet0thegrind

Man, the news about Johnny Gaudreau's passing has shaken this entire city. I've never cried over the death of an athlete before. Until today. He may have been traded, but everyone in Calgary loved that man so much. The fact that right now the steps of our arena are covered in purple Gatorade and flowers on honor of him says so much. I have also heard that people are flocking to what we refer to as "the Red Mile" tonight to honor him, which is a street downtown that turns into one big party whenever the Flames play a game during playoffs. Everyone pours out of the arena and heads down there to celebrate, or watches the game at bars on that street if they're not at the game. Johnny reignited the Flames when they were starting to burn out, he led that team for so long. We didn't call him Johnny Hockey for no reason. And for him and his brother to be tragically killed the day before their sister's wedding by a fucking drunk driver... It's unbelievably heartbreaking. Rest in Peace Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau 💔😭

from @areyoutherelarry

There are not any words to express how deeply sad and awful it is to hear about the killing of the Gaudreau brothers. They seemed like wonderful humans who positively impacted those around them. They had families who were clearly ripped through by this horrific tragedy. There are wives who will have to raise kiddos without their partners, and kiddos who won't have their dads around. Parents who outlived their kids. A sister who didn't get married. It's bleak shit. There's also a team that has faced so much tragedy. Boone Jenner has had to support the team through two tragic deaths (and faced his own personal loss this year), anyone who was around when Matiss Kivlenieks died, and Sean Monahan who was so excited to be reunited with Gaudreau. This is just heavy shit.

from @brb-counting-stars

today is such a hard day, but take inspiration from johnny to live life by being the kindest and generous person you can. take inspiration from the way he didn’t know if he would be able to make it into the show and pushed on anyways. take inspiration from the kind of brother he was. take inspiration from all the stories of what he would do for fans he spent mere moments with but those memories stayed with them for years, the philanthropic work he would do all throughout his career. take inspiration from the guy that grinned as brad marchand yapped at him from the opposite penalty box and then went on to score a hat trick, the teammate that was so beloved he inspired his buddy to sign with a team so that they could play together again. take inspiration from the nine-year-old kid that earned the nickname “love machine”, the twenty-seven-year-old man who finished his bachelor’s degree nine years later because he made a promise to his mom. and of course, you can’t forget the stories of him taping pucks to himself for weighing in at the combine, or writing a paper in college on how to make a ham and cheese sandwich, or how he would wipe red sauce off his meatballs, or how he got sick from mainlining nutella to gain weight for the season, or how he tried to cash his first paycheck at a random bar atm, or how he wore yeezys to ride a horse at the calgary stampede. live life to the fullest and remember johnny’s kindheartedness, humility, and positivity. his presence and spirit will really be missed throughout the hockey community.

from @hufflepuffhabs

Ever since seeing the devastating news yesterday afternoon while at work, I've been thinking of what the right words are in a situation as hopeless as this. There is no return button, no undo. In Memory of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau Ever since seeing the devastating news yesterday afternoon while at work, I've been thinking of what the right words are in a situation as hopeless as this. There is no return button, no undo. A family, a community left with empty spots. All the circumstances make it only sadder and more tragic. There are no right words, but there are tokens of hope, showing up and lighting a candle in memory and remembrance for not only two incredible hockey players but humans. When I was a little tween hockey fan, I really liked the Calgary Flames. Mostly because they drafted a Swiss guy 1st round, but they had many other young prospects, Johnny being probably the brightest. But as for many, it was his character that impressed me most, a Skittle loving child-at-heart guy that left it all on the ice. I will always remember how disappointed he was when they did not all him to do a stunt with a burning stick at the All-Star Game. May Johnny and Matthew rest in peace. And may we think of their family and of all families that have lost loved ones in this tragic way.

from @tattoed-and-toothless

Fly high and rest easy Johnny and Matthew 🕊 You left behind a lot of amazing memories to be remembered by. The hockey world is rallying around your family, they'll be well taken care of ♥️

from @sportspuckball

I've driven that road. Fuck that driver for literally ever. May Matthew and Johnny's memories forever be a blessing to all who loved them, knew them, and were impacted by them. So many of us knew Johnny, but I'm also thinking a lot about the high school kiddos that Matthew coached. Every aching moment of this fucking sucks. Don't let anyone tell you that grieving someone you don't know personally is stupid -- grief is grief and it is yours. Do what you need to process it as you see fit. The only thing any of us *need* to do is respect the family's privacy as they grieve, too.

from the Columbus Blue Jackets

The Columbus Blue Jackets are shocked and devastated by this unimaginable tragedy. Johnny was not only a great hockey player, but more significantly a loving husband, father, son, brother and friend. We extend our heartfelt sympathies to his wife, Meredith, his children, Noa and Johnny, his parents, their family and friends on the sudden loss of Johnny and Matthew. Johnny played the game with great joy which was felt by everyone that saw him on the ice. He brought a genuine love for hockey with him everywhere he played from Boston College to the Calgary Flames to Team USA to the Blue Jackets. He thrilled fans in a way only Johnny Hockey could. The impact he had on our organization and our sport was profound, but pales in comparison to the indelible impression he made on everyone who knew him. Johnny embraced our community when he arrived two years ago, and Columbus welcomed him with open arms. We will miss him terribly and do everything that we can to support his family and each other through this tragedy. At this time, we ask for prayers for the Gaudreau family and that their privacy be respected as they grieve.

from the Calgary Flames

It is with great sadness, we mourn the tragic deaths of our friend Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew Gaudreau. Our hearts are broken by this devastating loss. Johnny was and always will be a member of the Flames family and loved by all of Calgary. It was our privilege to call Johnny our teammate for nine amazing years in Calgary. He came to Calgary as a young man and grew up here, not only as a superstar on the ice, but also a beloved member of our community. The pain we feel for Johnny's wife Meredith, children No and Johnny, parents Jane and Guy, sisters Kristen and Katie, and the entire Gaudreau family is immense. Ownership, management, players, and staff of the Calgary Flames express our heartfelt spates during their time of sorrow. You are in our thoughts and prayers ❤️

from Brad Treliving

I am absolutely devastated by the news of Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew's passing. John was truly a special player, dazzling on the ice with his incredible talent, but what made him truly special was the person he was off the ice. His thousand-watt smiles and infectious personality were matched only by his love for his family, friends, and those close to him. He brought joy to everyone around him and to the many who never knew him but marvelled at his excellence on the ice. John was a beloved teammate and a friend to so many in the hockey community, and he will be deeply missed by all of us who had the privilege of knowing him. My heart goes out to the entire Gaudreau family - to his mom and dad, Jane and Guy; his sisters, Kristen and Kate; his loving wife, Meredith; his precious children, Noa and Johnny; and everyone affected by his unimaginable loss. Family was everything to John, and in his memory, please hug those close to you tighter and longer today and every day.

from Gary Bettman

(paraphrased)...While Johnny's infections spirit for the game and show-stopping skills on the ice earned him the nickname "Johnny Hockey", he was more than just a dazzling hockey player; he was a doting father and beloved husband, son, brother, and teammate who endears himself to every person fortunate enough to have crossed his path... ...He will be remembered fondly in Calgary, where he played his first nine seasons with the Flames form 2013-14 to 2021-22, emerging as one of our League's brightest young stars while compiling the franchise's fits-highest career points total. His loss also will be felt profoundly in Columbus, the city in which he chose to settle his family and where he was one of the respected, veteran leaders of a club building toward the playoffs. And both Johnny and Matthew will be mourned at Boston College, where they were teammates the year Johnny won the Honey Baker Award in 2013-14, and at Gloucester Catholic High School in New Jersey, where both played and where Matthew was the head coach following his own five-year pro playing career. We send our most heartfelt condolences to his wife Meredith; their children, Noa and Johnny; his parents, Guy and Jane; and sisters Kristen and Katie. And we grieve alongside his teammates, members of the Columbus and Calgary organizations, his many friends hockey and countless fans around the world for whom he created incredible memories on and off the ice.

from Pascal Vincent

I want to extend my deepest condolences to the family of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. This tragedy has left me speechless and in shock. Over the years, I had the privilege of getting to know the real Johnny Gaudreau - the person behind the hockey player. He was a humble and unassuming young man with extraordinary talent, who never sought to be in the spotlight. Instead, he enjoyed life's simple pleasures and possessed a quiet strength of character. His passion for the game and exceptional hockey sense allowed him to achieve greatness, yet he remained grounded and true to himself. I had the pleasure of meeting his wonderful family, including his wife, children, and parents. My thoughts are with them today. It's an honor to have known not only the incredible hockey player but also the kind and beloved person Johnny was to everyone he met. Wherever we went, people admired him on and off the ice. Despite his success, he remained humble and genuine. Johnny, you toughed so many lives with your kindness and contagious smile. I feel fortunate to have known you so closely. Your memory will stay with me forever. Rest in peace Johnny.

from @love-youu-softly

When I first got into hockey, I was feeling really lost. The flames were one of the first teams I became a fan of, and so many nights were spent alone in my room at 20 years old watching the flames and Johnny hockey. Will forever be important to me.

from @primakira

johnny gaudreau was the first player i ever learned about when i was trying to get into hockey. he was a spitfire on the ice and an even greater person off of it. i'll probably write something longer later since i can't even type this through my tears, but for now, thank you so much for everything, johnny. 💙 rest in peace to his brother matthew as well. such an unimaginable tragedy. my heart goes out to the entire gaudreau family and to everyone that loved them.

out of all the players i like in the nhl, johnny has a special place in my heart because he was the first player i ever knew. he's the reason i got into the sport during the pandemic. even before connor mcdavid or sidney crosby, there was johnny hockey. as soon as i saw his small stature and big smile, i was hooked. his smile was infectious, his hands were amazing, his skating was mesmerizing (his lil strides were so cute too), and his heart was all-encompassing. every night, you couldn't believe the things he could do. he was a spitfire on the ice - constantly underestimated but tenacious as hell. furthermore, he was kind, humble, funny, and down to earth. there's a reason everyone loved him. hell, his team would wage a war for him (matty tkachuk i'm looking at your penalties during that stars series). off the ice, he was a family man through and through. he loved his family so fucking much and he loved his community so much. all he wanted was the perfect place to call home for his kids and he found it. johnny encapsulated the joy of hockey, and he took that joy with him today. my heart goes out to everyone who loved him and matthew, especially their family and friends. the world lost two bright stars in a heartbreaking and senseless tragedy. thanks for everything, johnny. may you and matthew rest in peace. 🕊

from @bedsyandco

so shocked and saddened by the news of johnny and matthew gaudreau’s passing. this is such horrible news and I can’t even fathom the grief and loss that everyone who knew them is feeling right now. I truly hope that their family and friends have the utmost support and love right now. sending love and prayers to everyone affected by this loss 🩷

from @soffsh

Truthfully what is there to say, I knew getting on here would be so utterly painful. Seeing all these black and white pictures of Johnny and Matthew doesn’t seem real. The world has lost an incredible hockey player, father, husband and person in Johnny Gaudreau. I was hoping and praying last night that we wouldn’t be making these posts today, but we weren’t that fortunate. My deepest and sincerest condolences to the family and friends of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. As well as the whole fan base of not only the Columbus Blue Jackets but the Calgary Flames who have lost a friend and a family member. Johnny and Matthew you will be missed so dearly amongst the hockey community, but not nearly as much as by your family. Rest in Peace, boys.

from @alexandretexiers

Only a few days ago, Kivi would have been 28. Just for another unimaginable tragedy happening only days later, took the lives of Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew. Both brothers were taken from their mother and father, sisters, wives and children. Children who are all under two, with one not even born yet. I’ve been crying most of today, and I can’t even imagine the pain their families are in. One of their sisters was supposed to get married today, with her brothers by her side as groomsmen. And the bastard that killed them doesn’t even feel any remorse. Rest easy, Johnny and Matthew. You both will be dearly missed

from @rumandwhine

Had to take a day before I could even try to articulate any of this; I've never been this genuinely devastated by the loss of a public figure before. I can't express enough of my heartbreak and condolences for the entire Gaudreau family, I can't even imagine their loss and I won't insult their grief by trying. All I can do is thank them for letting us, the fans, get to know their amazing son, brother, husband, father for a while - it was truly a joy to watch and root for him. And to everyone else - the other fans in mourning or shock or whatever indescribable emotion you're feeling right now - all I can do is remind you that time is precious. Hug your parents, call your siblings, tell your partner you love them. I've already gotten years more than Johnny and Matthew will ever have; I intend to try and make the rest of the ones I'm allowed to mean more then the ones before them. I think that's the only way any of us can really honor their lives. Stay safe. And take care of yourselves.

from @wannabehockeygf

I wish I had all the words, but I don’t. They were so incredibly loved, and so young. My heart goes out to their family and friends. RIP Johnny Hockey & Matthew Gaudreau. Life is so fucking precious.

from @sweetestdesire

The Columbus Blue Jackets have unfortunately lost a few too many, and my heart is aching so bad for Johnny Gaudreau and his family. I can’t even begin to imagine how the team, his wife and children, and his family must be feeling right now. It’s times like this when we realize just how precious life really is. A life that touches others goes on forever. May Johnny and his brother, Matthew rest in peace.

from anonymous

this whole situation is so incredibly devastating. i’ll always remember johnny being afraid of both the CBJ cannon and the penguins at the calgary zoo 😔. while everyone should mourn and grieve as they do, please take the time to remember the happy moments and wonderful memories! seeing the outpour of love from brings me comfort and i can only wish the same for the gaudreau family.

from @bitchinbarzal

Dogs loved him, penguins startled him He was an amazing guy! I met him in Ohio, nicest guy - he deserves to be remembered that way 💙

from @mikkomacko

The first hockey jersey I ever bought was a #13 flames jersey I didn’t grow up in a hockey state, don’t have any friends or family that watch or follow the sport. Every time I asked for a jersey on a holiday or birthday I never got one. No one here knew what to get, where to look for one. I found the jersey for resale and used scholarship money my freshman year of college to buy it. I’m an Avs fan. I went to school in Colorado. But Johnny was one of the first players I ever saw on the tv and I liked his name and number. And I loved how he carried himself on and off the ice. I loved his love for the game and the way he played it. No matter the team, the number, the jersey, whatever I always wanted him to win. Today has been tough for so many and while it’s heartbreaking it’s so heartwarming to see how many players, fans, athletes, and people in general loved and cheered for not just Johnny but his brother too. Sending healing thoughts to his friends, family, and teammates. And to everyone else that was a fan of him like me.

from @strangelymint

I didn't watch much hockey growing up, I've only really started to consistently watch it and keep up with it since the playoffs of the 2021-2022 nhl season. However, the few times I did watch it growing up and starting to keep up with hockey, I remember watching Johnny Gaudreau so well. He was one of the players that made hockey and the Flames so fun, and he had such a huge positive impact on Calgary that I felt even before I watched those playoffs. I wish I got to watch him play more. Rest in peace to Matthew and Johnny Gaudreau and my heart goes out to their family and friends.

from @richards-mike

30/08 - dear johnny hockey, everyone knew your name. i knew it as well. it's difficult to put everything that i'm feeling into words & you kept being in my mind since i opened instagram at work today and that the first post that i saw was the devastating news that you passed away in some deeply disturbing and disgusting circumstances. you were the kind of player that was unique. you had a great talent on the ice, there is no doubt about it, but most importantly a you had the biggest and greatest heart of gold out there. you were the kind of player that everyone could cheer for and that we could admire in silent. you were our ✨special little guy✨ hockey was part of it. but the human part was the most important as well. we never know how much we can lose before we do. your remind us all today that life is fragile. but you reminded me that the world is still a good place. that people still can come together to remember the impact that a simple human can have when they choose kindness. you may be gone today, johnny but you will never be forgotten <13

from @annieqattheperipheral

(paraphrased) I keep getting waves of omg he's really gone. Like really really. We know there are going to be a lot of pregame tributes but like how you gonna do that and then expect anyone to do their jobs after without the entire arena from fans to teams to staff erupting in tears, times 32 rinks across the continent and probably flames and cbj's ahl teams and other teams too. agh. Grieving is so much. I'm glad we have our supports here with each other. Whenever i need to let something out i might post here (always tagging so you can step away, filter if you ever need to knowing what you can or can't handle that day). And so when johnny and matty's spouses each posted about their husbands this weekend.. i was amazed. And happy. I mean as i could be. Because it meant that they were being taken care of, they were supported so well they had no inclination of going inward and isolating. (I mean i withdrew so hard after i hit so many blocks with my family. I didn't post until a month later, informing so many ppl in my life.) Instead the gaudreaus were so open and sharing and that filled me with so much awe of the love and care within their family. Johnny and matty were so . well . loved. Matthew Tkachuk is one of the few players i keep notif on for and he was the one i learned the news from and every time he posts he proves yet again how incredible his family is, that he is being taken care of as well. That's a guy who has let us into his grief and i can't thank him and other players posting enough, that it's not radio silence. That we're sharing in this pain. Incredibly grateful.

from Matthew Tkachuck

Absolutely devastated. I will miss seeing that smile! RIP Hockey! love you bro 💔

from Rasmus Andersson

Trying to find the right words today is not easy. You were a hell of a hockey player but it's the person Johnny that was always is going to be with me, one of my closest friends, it didn't matter if we hadn't spoken in a day or a week we always knew where we had each other! There hasn't been a dry eye in the Andersson house today we all love you Johnny. Looking back at this picture with a smile and a tear, we were very hungover laughing about this the next morning... To Meredith Noa and Johnny Jr we're always here for you and we love you ❤️ Rest in peace uncle Johnny and Matty 🕊️

from Mikael Backlund

I can't believe it's true... I'm gutted. I'm going to miss you buddy. My thoughts are with the entire Gaudreau family. 💔

from Blake Coleman

It's hard to find the words so I'll keep it short. One of the best guys to be around, always had that big smile on your face and never passed up a good time. A great dad and husband to that beautiful family of yours. You will be missed by so many. Praying for your entire family in this incredibly difficult time. Thanks for the memories Johnny, you won't be forgotten. Rest easy #13

from Elias Lindholm

Completely heartbroken. Gonna miss you my friend. Sending all our love to the Gaudreau family. Rest in peace Johnny and Matthew 🕊️❤️

from Cole Caufield

We all lost an amazing person, both on and off the ice, in last week’s tragedy. My deepest condolences go to the entire Gaudreau family, especially Johnny’s wife and two kids, who I had the pleasure of meeting. Nothing will be able to fill the void in their families and loved ones hearts, but I hope it provides some comfort to know how these two positively impacted the lives of so many. They will truly be missed.  Getting to play with your hero is something that most people only dream of. I was lucky enough to be Johnny’s teammate this past summer and it didn’t take long to realize how great of a person he was. He was the most welcoming, genuine, and funniest guy I have ever met. He was someone everyone gravitated towards and I took every chance I could to be around him. Not only was he an amazing hockey player and teammate, but he was down to earth and truly cared about every person he encountered. The last few years playing as #22 have been some of the best years of my life. It truly has been a dream come true and I will forever hold those memories and that number close to me. I wore #13 at a point in my career because of Johnny and now I will be wearing it again to honor him. He paved the way for smaller players and proved we had a future in this game at the highest level. I will forever be grateful to him for inspiring me and others.  Rest in Peace, Johnny hockey.

from Boone Jenner

I'm absolutely heartbroken to be posting this but John deserves to be honoured, today and always. Take the hockey out of Johnny. You have one of the best friends, teammates, sons, brothers, husbands, and above all, fathers out there. It's impossible to put into words how much we will miss you man. I'll miss the backdoor tap ins, our battles at the card table, our gold matches, but most of all I'll miss you wearing black dress shoes with shorts on every Florida trip. Our thoughts and prayers are with eh Gaudreau and Morris family and everyone affected by this unimaginable tragedy and loss. I love you buddy. May Johnny and Matthew rest in peace.

from Jarome Iginla

While I never had the privilege to play with Johnny, the times we met or played together, I could feel how special he was. Johnny hockey made our sport better in many special ways. My family and I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to have spent time with Wim, and we will always be his fans. With broken hearts, we pray for the Gaudreau family and friends during this devastating time.

from Lanny MacDonald

You were magic, Johnny Hockey

I was in the 'Dome the night he scored in overtime to send the Flames to the second round of the playoffs in 2022. I swear the foundation of that old building was shaking, the eruption from the crowd was so violently joyous. It was the outpouring of love, awe, and gratitude for our fiery hero...watching the passion and fervour Johnny Hockey played with felt electric. There are no words that can match the tragedy of what has happened. Waking up to the news of Johnny and Matthew's passing hit my family like a ton of bricks, not only for their senseless deaths, but the gripping heartbreak for their loved ones who face the unimaginable. Let the hockey world rally around the Gaudreaus, their families and friends, and although we can't even start to understand the depth of their shock and pain, I hope they are overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support. Go easy on those legends up there in heaven's hockey rink, boys. You're getting there earlier than expected, but they'll take good care of you. Godspeed Johnny and Matthew, Godspeed ❤️

from Jaromir Jagr

I honestly never thought I'd write a text like this to a post. Yea that goal was my last NHL goal. Yes, that's a pretty nice goal. Yes, it was a beautiful pass above all. Unfortunately, life can sometimes be incredibly cruel. Thank you Johnny for being there and giving hope to all the guys with your incredible performances, that though they are not the biggest and toughest, they can succeed at the NHL world class just like you did. My condolences to the whole family. R.I.P to you and your brother

from Wayne Gretzky

Janet, myself and our entire family are devastated as this senseless tragedy. We are sending our love, thoughts, and prayers to the Gaudreau family. We lost two young men who were loved and a huge presence both on and off the ice. Johnny and Matthew, you will always be remembered and missed.

[verstappenf1lecccc]

Hi! so im obviously freaking out over Lewis winning his home race and i wanted to ask if you could make a one shot where y/n and lewis have been secretly together for a while but the public isn’t aware because she doesn’t really want to be in the public eye but she’s in the garage during the race and he kisses her when he wins after hugging his team

All i wanted was you

Angsty!! if y’all’s want a part two there will be one :)

If someone predicted that you’d be dating a formula one driver you’d laugh in their face and if they continued to tell you that it would be none other then Sir Lewis Hamilton you’d probably smack them in the head for being so cruel to you.

Well the funny thing is that you’d actually end up being a with a formula one driver who is none other than

Sir Lewis Hamilton.

Life had the perfect plans for you.

It was funny really how you two met.

It was a quiet night out in the outskirts of london just having been ditched from your old best friend and being forced to walk in the cold rain it’s safe to say you were not pleased in the slightest.

Feet trembling body shaking and hair wet which had you feeling like a drowned rat, you’d decided to be reckless and stupid and just walk home not knowing how it where home really was to you it seemed like the beginning of a murder mystery.

Not all hope was lost though that night way have started shitty but ended up with you finding your way to Lewis. His car had decided to make his life a little bit more difficult and had nudged you into the ground.

What started out as just making sure you were okay due to him feeling guilty ended up being a hidden relationship. your secret moments in crowded rooms they had no idea about you and him.

There was always an indentation in the shape of him, he made a mark on you a golden tattoo.

Never had you ever thought that you would have been in a hidden relationship with Lewis Hamilton.

Fate had never been on your side especially in your love life. Having endured both emotionally and physically abusive relationships you were at your wits end with men. But Lewis was different, everything he did for you was filled with so much love thought and care more than you were ever given in your life.

He knew all your favorite books he knew all your favorite movies flowers destinations.

On multiple occasions he had ended up showing up with flowers at your door simply because he wanted too. Maybe your luck truly had changed when he walked into your life.

You knew how talented Lewis was purely based on his impressive ability throughout the years. You were always yearning to see it live though.

It was a year into your hidden relationship when you had first brought up the idea of coming to a race with Lewis and he had quickly dismissed the idea saying that the fans wouldn’t be nice and he loved the little bubble the two of you were in.

You really hadn’t thought much into what he had said brushing it off as Lewis wanting to protect you more than anything.

You just booked the flight without a thought in the world simply wanting to be there and see your man in his absolute best.

It was nagging in the back of your mind as you knew Lewis wasn’t one for a public relationship but you really wanted to show the world that Lewis Hamilton had finally settled down.

In a haste decision you packed up all your bags and decided to show up at the Silverstone Grand Prix.

Just something about finally pulling this off made you feel giddy on the inside.

Silly you, little did you know that you were jumping headfirst towards the eye of the tornado brewing ahead.

Now, many would find Lewis being a level head person someone who had finally calmed down and not as fiercely competitive as they used to be. In reality he was further from that. Mercedes really were horrible this year, Lewis hadn’t won in over a year.

A win in silverstone prior to leaving Mercedes would have just been legendary. Out of a fairy tale.

Things were not looking too good and that must have played heavily into Lewis’s mind and made him react the way he did when he saw you all smiles and giggles hands over his eyes waiting for him in his drivers room.

Any normal person would have been surprised and thrilled to see what they called their love of their life wanting for them in their room.

No one honestly knew what snapped in Lewis.

It was the added pressure of seeing his favorite person seeing him fail.

Lewis had a routine. Horrible race - Interviews- Anger- Meditation- Your time.

But you showing up had ruined that routine and had lead to Lewis’s snapping.

When you first saw his blank face you just thought that he was taking time to register the fact that you were right there with him. it wasn’t.

Something blazed in his eyes and it wasn’t love or the dark desire he normally had.

It was anger.

He’d snapped at you harsh and cruel.

Lewis muttered words that he would have never dreamed of saying to you.

Something along the lines of

“you know I am under immense pressure ”

“why couldn’t you have just listened to me and stay put. ”

“This is fucking stupid why are you so inconsiderate.”

“I already have enough to deal with I can’t be there to coddle you when the fans get to you y/n.”

“so fucking sensitive why are you crying now?”

“I can’t deal with you being here let alone the media seeing you? I didn’t need you here to ruin everything”

“it’s my home Grand Prix I need to focus on the fans and not you”

Those words broke the already broken parts of you. He didn’t recognize how shattered you looked. All he registered was that you had gone against his word and had showed up. He hurt you even when he told you no he begged you he wouldn’t.

That’s how he had left you alone in his drivers room hurt and embarrassed the mechanics had picked up on the tension in his room and had just given you a sad smile offering to take you back to your hotel room so that you could have some time off.

Now on Lewis’s side this anger and storm he had just started would force him to drive the best race of his life almost for redemption of his poor behavior.

[satoruhour]

reader x toji where they hav an argument nd the reader dresses slutty and suddenly has plans at the club w her friends. but toji doesnt like that 🫣

a/n: IM HERE . IM HERE SORRY IVE BEEN RB-ING SO MANY THINGS !!!! but i promise im writing hahahaha. but also i dont owe anyone an explanation! enjoy anon!

wc: 1.4k

warnings: toji picks ur lock w/ a bobby pin lol, reader is a little mean LMFAO but #valid, dom!toji, pussy drunk tojiiiii, implied overstimulation, oral / cunnilingus (from the back + face-sitting + lying on ur back), exhibitionism? (reader is on call with her friends but her girls don’t know she’s getting eaten out!), implied unprotected p -> v sex @ the end, implied creampie / breeding kink, n*sfw under the cut

“yeah— but you didn’t have to say it like that!” you huffed out at your boyfriend, or so you thought, because you probably had read too much into this relationship, heart tearing apart when toji simply said he was with his woman, with benefits while on the phone with shiu. 

you tsked when toji opened his mouth to explain, a distraught expression on his face that implied it was a slip of his mouth but even then you were relentless about the simple slip-up that meant a lot to you. it wasn’t often that toji had anything but an indifferent expression on him and you’d relish in his panicking face with a smug grin if it wasn’t for your rage.

“stupid fucker — still thinkin’ i’m just some bitch he fucks like he doesn’t whine for me in his sleep,” you grumble to yourself mindlessly later, phone blowing up from the messages from your friends while you scour through various outfits that slowly flood your bed. 

No way he said that!!!! Wtf???? Who does he think he is?

let’s bring u out tonight babe. wear sum cute

yeah!!. Let’s get ur mind off of that lame fella . he still kinda hot tho…

it’s messy and there’s a continuous clash of colour with each skirt or top you pull out and you groan in annoyance, so you take a shower — and it’s not all that better either, mulling over that dreaded sentence while lathering yourself up, while washing it off, getting dressed. it pisses you off so much that a man’s words can affect you so much, but that’s the price you pay when it comes to toji.

the toji who gives you a crushed, bloody bouquet after coming back from one of his dangerous missions, the toji who grumbles while he pushes the last nugget in the mcdonald’s box toward you despite loving it, the toji who likes to feel your body against his because he’s said that the mere sensation of you pressed up against him is enough to make him cum.

you scoff when you hear a knock on the door, in the midst of pulling an extremely short skirt up your hips with your ass basically peeking out from under it, paying it no mind before securing a tube around your bust.

“shut the fuck up!” you bark back when toji knocks again and there’s silence altogether, rolling your eyes when there’s a dramatic sigh from behind the wooden door and your feet naturally has you swerving away from the bed to open up the door, if not for the call from your girls that come in. the ringtone echoes throughout the room, distracting you from the professional work being done by toji with one of your bobby pins.

with phone on the bed, it’s led to your ass being propped up while you’re on your hands, butt facing the door with a full on display of your miniskirt and the very lacey underwear toji’s gotten for you for your anniversary. it was a petty move, you know — everything felt right when you pulled the material over your legs after your shower, not expecting yourself to pick up such a revealing bottom.

but now you know everything definitely felt right when those panties pooled at one of your ankles that hang off the bed while you’re trying not to whimper into the call with your girls who’s just so excited to see you. it’s a wonder they haven’t already heard the sloppy noises of toji eating it from the back, hands gripping onto your ass cheeks so hard they form bruises and you don’t have it in you to give a fuck when the other licks a hot, long stripe up your folds.

“left the house already, hon?” one of your friends ask and you’re gripping so tightly onto the phone that it hurts a little, not missing the way toji mumbles out that your pussy tastes as sweet as ever.

“uh— ah! n-not yet!” you squeal when toji smiles into your cunt and you absolutely hate how your hips shimmy toward him instinctively when your boyfriend pulls on your thighs to bring you closer, “i’ll leave soon, o-okay— mm—”

“babe?”

“okay bye!” you panic and press the large red button, hanging up immediately before your moans increase in volume immediately and your head dips into the bedsheets. the man eats pussy like a starved man, slobbering over your pussy while his nose just takes in your scent and arousal — something that’s gotten him hooked since day one. your leaking hole, your sensitive clit, your twitching thighs. god, toji loved every part of you and he was determined to fuck you better than a friend with benefits.

“’m sorry baby, mmfhh—” toji grunts into your core, “any chance ya could forgive your old man?”

the hold on your pride was getting looser and looser while your hands only clutch the sheets tighter and tighter, whimpers turning into a borderline scream when the man manoeuvres himself under you and yanks you down onto his face. your arms support your limp body instantly, hips moving with their own mind as you grind into toji’s tongue with breathless pants, rolling your pelvis over him and he groans at the feeling. toji doesn’t care that your miniskirt is in the way, eyes peeking out from the fabric and flitting over to you and your breath hitches cause you know he’s serious in earning back your forgiveness.

“not when— haah… you’re still saying i’m just some— w-whore you fuck.” you’re still a little bitter, but toji below you is enough to make you clench around nothing, high already approaching when he switches between sucking and nibbling and flicking his tongue at your bundle of nerves. 

“slip of the tongue, i promise, doll,” he talks into your drooling pussy, the vibrations sending chills up your body, hands flying to his hair to grab onto toji’s hair and pulling, “you’re my cute lil girlfriend, aren’t ya?” you hate how easily you nod your head, “mine to fuck, and mine to eat out, yeah?”

that sentence alone has you needing to lock eyes with toji just for a moment to see his lips curl up slyly, bottom half of his face soaked with your juices that your stomach contracts a little at the sight, a weak whimper leaving your lips.

“yeah…” you mumble out breathlessly and that’s all it takes for toji to go back to eating, quickly bringing that burning coil in your tummy again while slurping up your arousal. the room feels so hot and you’re sure you’re sweating through your outfit that you so carefully picked out that you’re peeling it off your body. your lover only wraps his larger arms around your thighs when he sees that your pretty tits are out, intoxicated on the thin layer of sweat lining your body and the curve of your upper body.

“toji, toji, toji—” you’re chanting his name like it’s a mantra, dizzy from the constant abuse toji does to your clit, pleasure shooting through your body when he moans around your cunt and you’re cumming with a moan of his name, thighs shivering around his head that he only laughs, humming into your core while you soak his sheets and skin. you’re just about prepared to get fucked when you catch a glimpse of toji’s hand palming his bulge, but that isn’t what toji has in mind when he changes positions again.

“taste s’good, baby,” toji groans, pulling apart your thighs that close from the sensitivity, “let me eat ya out until i’m forgiven.”

and all he can do is stick to his words whenever after each orgasm he pulls from you, you’re shaking your head like you’re saying you aren’t forgiven and he figures out your game soon enough, but whatever his girlfriend says, it goes. it’s just like that for toji who worships every part of you, a mistake rewarded well later when he taps his fat, leaking tip on your cunt and slips in easily from how many times he’s made you cum, reaching nirvana just from hearing your still-loud mewls leaving your worn-out body.

it’ll be something that will be burnt into his brain, forever, but toji doesn’t have time to think about that for now, so he just fucks you like he thinks a sorry man should fuck — deep into your cunt with the promise of being better and the need of giving you everything you ask for, even if it’s something as simple of wanting his cum in you.

whatever his princess wants, his princess gets.

i cannot go a day without mentioning breeding omfg im actually deranged

[strawb3heart]

Leave it all behind Pt.1 | Oscar Piastri

warning: angst, breakup

summary: Having a relationship with Oscar was good, and then it all just stopped.

Oscar and you had been in a relationship since we were teenagers and we practically had known each other since kids. It was love, like if it was meant to be. But then, everything changed. It was as if he was too focused on winning or at least getting a podium, but in that process, he was losing you. All the forgotten dates and the lack of communication, you first felt as if you were to problem. That you weren't trying to stay in touch with him.

"Osc, you sure we're all good?"you asked for the third time as he looked away from the screen of his phone, almost as if he was avoiding to answer "Yeah, nothing has happened. I'm just a bit off today" Even during a video call he didn't seem interested in anything you said. And that's how the last call with him went. And it hurt, so so much that you started to think that it was all your fault.

But distance wasn't the problem, neither did you. Oscar was the one who didn't really cared as much as he used to do. He hadn't text or call you in a while, he even forgot your anniversary a few weeks ago.

What was going on? Was he not interested in you now? Where had all that love and promises went?

And that's when it happened, without a warning, he text you. But it wasn't particularly hard to notice that something was going on.

The pain of betrayal, the anger you felt were surreal. You even started thinking that you hated him, or at least how he ended things with you. How did he changed that much? Why did he hurt you like that? But at the end of the day, you didn't understand him, not even when you tried. It all would be a lie if you told anyone that you didn't cry. Because you, in fact, ended up sobbing uncontrollably as the tears stained your face.

Three days later, a call interrupted your not so good night sleep. It was Nicole, as in your now ex mother in law. Needless to say that you were more than surprise.

"Hello?" You attended, still a bit sleepy "Hi'ya love, I'm really sorry to bother you. But I haven't heard from Osc in a while, so" she laughed a little "I just wanted to check if everything was alright with him, you know" Frozed in your bed, that how you were the second that Nicole end up saying that.

"Uhm, I actually think you need to ask him that yourself, Nicole, because mhm uhm He broke of with me a while ago" Thenn, you clearly heard her gasp, which confirmed you that she nor his entire family was aware of that tinny bitty issue.

"Omg, love, I'm so sorry. As I said, I haven't heard from him. Oh, He's so stupid, sweetie, I will contact him myself in that case. " And that's how all the conversation ended, followed by an uncomfortable goodbye.

Meanwhile, in the McLaren hospitality, everything seemed to be a chaos. And although he was trying to act strong, Oscar Piastri wanted a well needed break of all that pressure. He was starting to get sick of analyzing data and having long meetings about new strategies.

But most of all, he missed you. He had realized hours later he texted you that he had completely fucked up. He was so stupid.

He had led stress control all of his thoughts, which ended up pretty badly. And he realized it even more when he started receiving angry texts from his mom and apparently all of her sisters.

He couldn't restrain himself from crying once he got to his hotel. But just as he was entering the elevator, he was stopped by an angry Thai, who seemed to have also heard the news.

"Mate, are you fucking stupid? How could you even do this? You have no shame" Oscar couldn't even answer as he started sobbing just as Alex finished his complaint.

"You really need to fix this" Alex said just a few moments later "Let her know your sorry, and that you know how stupid your decision was"

"I don't know if she will forgive" He confessed "I have disappointed her so many times that I don't think she'll give me another chance"

"You have to at least try it, if you really love her"

hi loves!! I was thinking of doing a taglist, soo, let me know if you want to be in it <3

Also, I just finished writing this, so idk when I will post pt.2 but I definitely will

remember, requests are always open 🌷

pdst. I would really appreciate having requests bc rn my creativity is not the best 😭

[le-fruit-de-la-passion]

Does a bad ending ruin a good story? A comprehensive guide to my feelings on the Arcane finale

*Spoilers for Arcane season 2*

So. You just finished the show, and you're staring at the screen in bewilderment. Perhaps you’re even with some friends, shouting words of confusion to the rolling credits. Try as you might, you can barely hear them, because a single thought echoes in your mind and pushes away any other:

“What the fuck just happened?”

If this happened to you, then boy oh boy, we're on the same boat. If it didn't, well, I'm glad for you friend! We might not have been looking for the same things from this story. But this is my post, meaning I will give my opinions (which are objectively correct because this is my blog and I'm the mayor here) on everything that Arcane broke and failed to deliver in its last 2 episodes.

Let's start with characters, and why none of it mattered.

Jinx symbolized the fear we all have of not belonging somewhere, of not having anything to call home or anyone to call a family. Her anger stemmed from wanting to carve a place in a society and a world that had so harshly rejected her (i.e., Vi leaving her). Her existence was a huge middle finger to all that refused to let her live, a fight to build herself something wholeheartedly hers (hence her being an inventor). It was proof that despite the world telling her she was better off dead, she would never stop fighting to prove it wrong.

… and she died.

She died, and that means all the suffering she went through to exist simply amounted to nothing. She left nothing behind either, no trace of a legacy, something that would have left her mark on that world. Isha, the child she raised as a daughter, died. Silco, who she taught love and care to, died. Vander, who she brought back from years of trauma and torture, died. Jinx fought so hard to live, and in the end, it was as if she hadn't lived at all.

Viktor is most certainly the character that made me the angriest, because of how attached I am to the person he is in season 1 (and even the first two acts of season 2 to an extent). Everything that made him so beautifully complex… gone, in about 10 minutes. There was NO reason to make him the surprise ultimate villain. Viktor had always, always been a pacificist. That's why he was so adamant Hextech not be used as a weapon. That's why every time there were chances to test hextech to hurt, he tried to learn how it could heal. Yes, his fusion with the hexcore had changed him; but NOT into a man who didn't care for human life. He wanted to help all the hurt done to his people. People like him, living day to day in the undercity, but who had never gotten a chance to crawl out of their hell. His community was about HEALING, not controlling. The very IDEA that he would accept killing innocents and ally with Noxus, the warmongers, is so ridiculous I could genuinely laugh if it didn't make me so angry. The show needed an easy, black-and-white showdown to conclude a story that would have needed so much more time to tell. And they chose Viktor. Because it was the easy way out. It was the perfect foil to the return of the Golden Boy. And that PISSES me off.

There is this really shitty concept in popular media that the handicapped/chronically ill character is always in the pursuit of being “cured” and that they need outside help to realize “that their imperfections make them perfect”. Fuck. You. As someone with chronic illness and who just finished beating blood cancer, fuck you. That realization, that you're you with every part of your being, even the ‘bad’ ones, cannot come from outside. It's YOU who needs to learn it. It's you who needs to discover how your body and your mind are so much stronger than you previously thought them to be. Not your lover, your family, your friends, or God forbid your able-bodied lab partner. You. Others may tell you as many times as they want your illness doesn't define you; it won't matter until you, yourself, have understood why and have accepted it. Having someone swoop in and “fix” Viktor with a “you don't have to change uwu” is just….. so reductive I can barely find the words for it. That was VIKTOR’S path to find, and not Jayce’s role to find it for him.

Also… Viktor wasn't trying to ‘fix’ his leg; he was trying to find a cure to a deadly illness ravaging his body and no doubt the bodies of many in Zaun. The HELL is the message here??? That he should have just rolled with it because the deadly illness was part of him??? Again, as a cancer survivor. Fuck right off.

Of course, I can't just ignore the hideous get-up they put him in at the end. The man who laughed at Jayce's narcissism….you want me to believe… he would put on that fucking edge lord costume and not DIE of embarrassment??? The design makes no sense from a narrative standpoint either: if his cane has become the sceptre, why is he still keeping it? He doesn't need it anymore to walk, and it's a reminder of his weaknesses as a human that he apparently hated so much. Why the hell does he keep it then? And the hexclaw. Where did that bad boy come out from?? Did you all see a secret extra bonus scene where he steals it from the lab, because I sure didn't. It doesn't add anything to his sets of powers either it’s… it's a fucking laser gun. WHY. And oh sweet god that mask… there would have been so many ways of designing a mask more meaningful than the one from LoL. This one is just. A piece of metal he spawned in embryo. Get it? Because he's made of metal now and also hiding his face means no more humanity? Get it?? Of fucking course you do, because this was the easiest and worst possible way they could have integrated the mask.

Viktor and Jayce had a fantastic dynamic in that Viktor had started out as the loner, the underdog scientist from the slums; while Jayce was the leader figure, living in comfort that made him attachingly naive, his face plastered on posters stroking his ego. The shift is delightfully slow, as Viktor gains in confidence and determination to see his invention through no matter what, while Jayce is confronted with harsher and harsher truths about the world he so blissfully ignored. By Act 2, they have fully switched roles: Viktor is now the leader figure, a symbol of the future for the people, while Jayce is desperately alone, both physically in the hexcore anomaly, and mentally in being the only one who has seen the devastating future. Excellent stuff. What would be a great way to push these parallels further and to show the complexity of these characters, and perhaps how they can balance each other out? Well, Fortiche sure didn't know, now Viktor is the bad bad guy and Jayce is mister hero. Zaun bad, Piltover good. All nuance, gone. Proving that indeed, the man from poverty and inequality turns out evil, while the one from comfort and wealth turns out to be the hero of the story. The whole “giving a warm speech to the bad villain about how you care for them, somehow immediately changing their ways, and dying together to save the world” can work well in shounen anime where friendship is magic, or in the Ben 10 live-action movie (yes, that's the plot, I thought that wasn't deep when I was like 7 years old so imagine now), but not in a show like Arcane. Not with the ethical and moral nuances they have accustomed us to.

And now, let's explore...

Plotholes and incomplete storylines galore.

Ekko’s tree and the contamination of Zaun from Piltover? Fuck that. The huge showdown between the two opposite yet sister cities, like Jinx and Vi, that has been built up for two seasons? Fuck that. And for what?

For the Noxus sequel teaser.

Mel’s plotline about finding her mage origins had NOTHING to do with the main plot. Absolutely nothing. It added 0 twists or intrigues to the story, and served no purpose except making her a deus ex machina for a broken ending. All it was there for was to lay the base for a following show on Noxus and the Black Rose. Time that could have been spent either giving Mel a proper arc related to the plot, or giving all the other rushed character arcs more development.

Finally, and I deeply regret having to say this, but… the end of Vi and Cait's relationship was majorly disappointing to me. As an LGBTQ+ person myself, who feels attraction to women, it was a delight to have such a realistically portrayed w/w relationship on screen. Popular media tends to portray m/m relationships as these doomed, sinful feelings between two repressed guys, while w/w relationships are shown to just be all sunshine and rainbows and teddy bears, because two women together are a cute little accessory to have on screen. It’s non-threatening. But not Cait and Vi; their bond was raw, and rocky, with violent lows and passionate highs in a world that seemed to want to keep them apart. Their separation and the introduction of Maddie showed the reality of a w/w relationship, where fights and cheating ARE things that happen, because they're two adult women with different beliefs, objectives, an trauma. Putting them back together, as if nothing had happened, without giving us anything about how their relationship would have evolved from the breakup? I'd never thought I'd say this, but it's too easy. How about Caitlyn's literal descent into fascism??? We’ll just ignore that? Vi will just ignore that?

As with everything else, this last part of Arcane destroys all the complex emotions that exist between these characters, the resentment, the anger, the frustration, built upon years of different social conditioning… gone. Because they had 2 episodes left to wrap it up, and there was no way to make a coherent and natural transition to them getting back together with that kind of time. And can I just say. The decision to have Vi, symbol of Zaun, go down on Caitlyn, symbol of Piltover and enforcers, in a prison cell that has held innocent Zaunites and represents their complete lack of freedom as individuals by a cop state that oppresses them….. yeah, bad. So bad.

And… the multiverse. Yup, they went the multiverse route. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing: the concept of multiverses itself is interesting in a vacuum, and quite a few properties have managed to make it work coherently. But it has been terribly overused and bastardized in serialized content in the last few years, for the simple reason that it's extremely practical. Why make a new, original series when you already have worlds and characters that are developed, and come with built-in fans? It's a money-saving hack! Why dedicate yourself to an ending that is meaningful in its finality and wraps the story properly when you can just say “It's just one ending in the multiverse!”. It takes away any accountability to the fans, and leaves the door open to a potential other version of the story! The perfect combo!

…except in practice, it comes off as lazy in a medium where that trope is overly saturated (don't start me on Marvel), and like a cowardly way of escaping from the responsibility of really taking the time to craft a good, solid ending to end your story.

So, with all that said: does it ruin Arcane for me? No, absolutely not, and I don’t think it should be for you either. The intricate artistry and raw talent that went into making the first season (and I would say a majority of the two first acts of season 2) is undeniable, and will stay undeniable. Nothing can touch that story. It will forever be one of my favourite pieces of animated media, which is saying a lot because I'm currently getting my master's degree on that topic.

However, it does give Arcane, as a whole rather than two separate seasons/entities, a very bittersweet feeling that is hard to forget. Thinking of what could have been, just if a little more time had been given to the minds behind the masterpiece you so loved… it's its own form of heartbreak. Academics have even compared it to experiencing a form of death of a loved one, before they ever got to reach their fullest potential and live the life they deserved. It may sound dramatic, but the feelings you feel in this moment, watching the horrible end of a fiction you have so much love for, are real. No one can take those away from you. You're allowed to grieve the loss of something that meant a lot to you.

Tldr; No, Arcane is not a bad series because of its rushed and incomprehensible ending. As they say, it's all about the journey, not the destination, even if that's one of the parts we tend to remember the most. And I don't know about you, but this was one of the best journeys I've ever been on.

[lucyrose191]

12 YEARS LATER, PART 2| S.O BLACK

Pairing; POA!Sirius Black x wife!reader

Summary; It’s been 12 years since Y/N last saw her husband, now it was time to see him for the first time, what could she say to him?

Warnings; Angst? Fluff, Sirius probably looks like death

HP/Marauders Master List

Sirius felt happiness and immense relief to see that the home you shared all of those years ago hadn’t changed at all, the garden was still well kept and from what he could see through the windows of the living room, it was still decorated the same way.

It was like a breath of fresh air being back in the place that held so many memories and loving moments; moments that had gotten him through the past twelve years of hell.

Knowing he was innocent had protected his sanity against the dementors but remembering those soft touches and electric kisses had kept him half happy.

He frequently dreamt of those slow mornings you spent together, that feeling of pure happiness he felt back then to wake up next to you, being able to see you first thing in the morning was the greatest gift he could have ever asked for.

He hadn’t really known how lucky he was back then to have those small moments; he had only realised when it had been taken away from him.

Sirius had thought about you every single day. He wondered how you looked, if you had moved on and created a family, if you hated him…

And now, his heart was pounding in his chest as he scratched at the door with his paw, knowing that you and Harry were merely on the other side.

He could hear your voice and whilst it was more matured and had lost that young playfulness he once knew, it was still you.

He waited. Waited. Waited.

As each minute passed by, his heart beat more erratic in his chest.

Eventually, the door opened.

It wasn’t you, it was Harry stood there with a massive smile on his face at the sight of his godfather.

Even though he knew there was no one around for miles, Sirius cautiously looked around before he transformed back into himself. "It’s good to see you again, Harry," his voice was hoarse and gruff from its lack of use but still held its friendly tone.

Harry launched himself into Sirius’ arms, catching the latter off guard and almost sending him tumbling off the sheer force of the impact but he welcomed the embrace with a chuffed laugh. "I’m glad you’re staying here, Padfoot."

Sirius mindfully patted Harry’s back as he pulled away, smiling slightly but Harry could tell that Sirius wasn’t really paying much attention, he could see the distraction in the way his godfather was looking over his shoulder into the house, as though hoping to catch sight of something, or someone. "Where’s your godmother?" He asked in a dreaded whisper.

Harry shuffled awkwardly as he looked back into the house before looking back to Sirius. "Uhm, she’s in the kitchen preparing dinner."

Sirius swallowed but nodded, releasing a nervous sigh as he looked to the ground then back up, not really knowing what to do.

Harry pursed his lips, feeling uncomfortable, knowing that you weren’t really impressed with the last minute bomb he dropped on you when you weren’t ready and that Sirius was at a loss to what he could say to you after over a decade of being without you. Harry had put the three of you in this situation and felt the responsibility to guide you through it.

"Why don’t you go to my room and you can get cleaned up and I can find you some clothes to wear then you can join us and have something proper to eat?" He suggested, sighing in relief when Sirius nodded, seeming to like that idea.

Your heart was pounding so hard in your chest that it was beginning to ache, the pain almost becoming unbearable as you heard footsteps behind you.

"It’s just me," Harry spoke, calming you instantly, causing you to turn around.

"Where is he?" You whispered, looking around wearing, you felt uneasy in your own house knowing that he was nearby.

"I took him upstairs to my room so he could shower, do you know if we have any clothes he could change into?" Harry asked.

You paused for a moment before speaking. "I do, actually." Thinking back to the boxes hidden away at the back of your wardrobe, you didn’t know if they’d still fit him but they were his.

"Could you grab them for me and I’ll take them to him?" You nodded and made your way out of the kitchen, leaving Harry to keep an eye on the food.

You could hear the sound of running water that came from Harry’s en-suite; he was so close yet so far and you had no idea how to feel about it.

You grabbed him clean socks, underwear, joggers and a t-shirt, even going as far as pulling out some of his old hair care products that used to crowd the bathroom counter knowing that Azkaban probably hadn’t been great for his hair and that would have broken your Sirius’ heart.

Sirius couldn’t fight his smile at the sight of the clothes and products that had been left on Harry’s bed for him, they were his, you had kept them all of these years, that had to mean something, didn’t it?

He had purposely taken his time getting dressed whether he was aware of it or not, he was trying to prolong the time it would take to see you, hoping he’d think of something he could say to you, he hadn’t thought of anything by the time he had finished so he just bit the bullet and slowly made his way downstairs.

The entire house was the way he had left it that Halloween night in 1981, only with the addition of photos of you and Harry from throughout the years, it made him smile to see that you had both had a nice life, the only thing that made him sad was that it had been just the two of you and he hadn’t been there with you.

The sound of your’s and Harry’s voices floating from the kitchen filled his heart, he could tell the bond between the pair of you was strong.

As soon as he hit the threshold of the kitchen, the chatter immediately stopped, the pair of you were already sat as the table with your plates in front of you; a large plate of food was sat in front of an empty chair opposite you, waiting for him.

The two of you made eye contact and every thought in his mind disappeared, all those words he wanted to say to you no longer mattered because everything that needed to be said was spoken just from looking into your eyes.

You were beautiful, just as you had been back then and you still had the same effect on him. The air was sucked from his lungs and he was punched in the face with the most overwhelming feeling of love he had ever experienced, the ring that had remained on his finger since you were nineteen was suddenly weighed down by his feelings for you that hadn’t disappeared in the slightest, even after so long apart.

His eyes shot to your left hand and his chest grew heavy at the lack of jewellery on your finger, he had to remind himself that he had betrayed you though, by leaving you that night with no telling of what he was doing, he had simply left and not returned.

"Padfoot," Harry’s voice cut through the tension between the two of you. "You should eat something," he pointed towards the plate that was piled with food.

Sirius pursed his lips and nodded weakly, carefully making his way to the table and sitting down, it was as though he thought any movement that was too fast would break something between you that hadn’t yet been fixed.

The three of you sat in the most intense silence; Sirius and Harry ate but you had quickly lost your appetite, the sight of him had just about torn you in two.

He was all skin and bone, every movement he made showed just how weak he was, the shaking of his hands a sign of his lack of nutrition.

Even though you hadn’t seen him before his shower you know it must have done him well because his skin was clean and he looked fresh, his facial hair was neatly groomed and his hair, though longer than you remember, was in its typical ringlets, a sharp contrast to the way he looked in the wanted posters you had seen.

Sirius was thankful to eat something that wasn’t wild animals he had hunted; food that was actually filling and would give him the energy he lacked.

He could feel the glances you kept sending him but kept his head down and his attention focused on his meal, he was afraid of what you would say to him.

Would you tell him you had moved on a long time ago and you were simply doing this for Harry?

The sound of you clearing your throat caused him to look up, Harry had disappeared without him noticing, it was just the two of you, your eyes looking into his with an emotion he couldn’t quite identify.

"I’m glad you’re okay," you spoke, voice ever so gentle.

Sirius dropped his fork and leaned back in his seat, focusing all of his attention on you. "I’m glad you and Harry are okay, it was all I ever thought about," he replied.

The roughness of his voice took you by surprise but you suppose it shouldn’t have considering the lack of people he had to speak to whilst he was imprisoned.

"A part of me was worried, knowing you were out there all alone," you confessed.

Your words made his heart swell but he knew better than to get his hopes up. "And the other? Worried that I wanted to hurt him?" He couldn’t mask the bitterness in his voice, the thought of you thinking he could do such a thing would break him.

"Worried that you didn’t want to actually, I was worried that everything the public knew about you was wrong and that you were out there all alone in the cold and wanting to do something good. Because it meant you had been locked up all those years for nothing and well, that worry was a reality."

Your words comforted him but there was one thing they had been on his mind since he had spoken to Harry for the first time. "You only told him about me at the beginning of the year when I escaped, why?"

You looked down at the table, tears in your eyes. "It was just me and Harry for years, I had all these photographs for him and all of these stories about James and Lily. There was a constant in the photos that he was curious about, the man with the cheeky smile and the long, curly hair. I just told him you were an old friend because I couldn’t tell the little boy he was back then that the entire Wizarding world thought you were the reason they were dead and I didn’t want to tell him my thoughts either because I wanted him to decide what he wanted to think when he was old enough and he did."

"And what were your thoughts?" He asked the dreaded question.

You smiled painfully and shook your head. "That you are the most irrational and dare I say irresponsible man that I have ever met in my life and you were overwhelmed with grief that night, so much so that you didn’t at all think straight about the outcome of your actions. You were just filled with betrayal and heartbreak that the only thing you cared about was getting revenge and I never blamed you for that, I only ever blamed you for losing the life you deserved to live, losing the life we could have shared."

Sirius’ eyes welled up at your words, both from relief that you never thought he did what he was accused of and guilt for the way he had acted that night, knowing that he had caused you a hell of a lot of loss, loss of the life you had wanted to build with him.

He was suddenly wracked with the emotion of the reality of what had actually happened and what he had missed out on, what you both had missed out on. "Did you-" he wanted to ask but you were already shaking your head.

"Absolutely not, there was never anyone else, it was only ever you and I never had to question it." There was such confidence in your words and it shot right into his chest, it was as though those words had broken the dam that had hidden his emotions because the flood gates had opened and Sirius buried his head in his hands as sobs wracked through his body.

You jumped up from your seat and made your way around the table, taking Harry’s vacant seat and pulling it right up beside Sirius’, wrapping your arms around him.

Sirius leaned into your body, allowing himself to be fully wrapped up in your arms.

It wasn’t long before his sobs stopped but he made no effort to move from your embrace, instead he relished in the familiar comfort that he had longed for and allowed himself to smile as he smelled the scent of the perfume you still wore and had worn since you were a teenager.

You pressed a kiss into his hair before resting your head against his. "I missed you so much." You assured him.

"I missed you, you and Harry were all I ever thought about, you got me through it, you’ve always been my strength." He muttered into your shoulder.

You closed your eyes at his words, not wanting to cry but it was hard, you had him in your arms again and it filled you with so many overwhelming emotions.

"You’re still so beautiful," you laughed at his muffled compliment, squeezing him tighter in response.

"I’m glad you’re here, Sirius. I’m so happy you’re back." You told him.

"Me too," he sighed, then waited for a moment before asking. "Where are your rings?"

You silently and reluctantly pulled away from him but remained close. You reached up and pulled out the chain that was hanging from your neck, hanging from the chain were two rings; one was a simple, thin, silver band and the other was a diamond encrusted band with a large, rectangle shaped, white sapphire in the centre.

"I knew Harry would ask questions because he’s so nosey but I wants to keep them on me," you explained.

Sirius nodded with a smile, happy you still kept them and wore them, his smile widened as he watched you remove the chain from your neck and remove the rings before placing them on your left hand where they belonged.

He moved forward and rested his forehead against yours, not necessarily ready to let go just yet.

Harry stood in the doorway of the kitchen, you were right, he was nosey but he didn’t really care. He was way too amazed at the sight in front of him, he could quite literally see the connection that was shared between his godparents and was beyond happy that the two of you were able to be reunited and hopefully make your way back to each other.

You would make your way back to each other, Sirius was your family and he was your home. The connection between the two of you hadn’t been lost in the time apart and it only made you more confident in the fact that Sirius Black was your soulmate, he was the other half of your heart and there’s no one else you would wait so long for or want to spend your life with.

You loved him more than anything and well aware that he felt the same way about you.

Tag list; those who asked to be tagged in part 2. @bullets-from-another-dimension @babyclea @mel-vaz @crowleythesexydemon @mspotterh

[d1xonss]

About Masterlist:

~ Currently I am only writing for the character Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead. But I’m likely to write for others later on down the road.

~ Genres very from fluff to angst

~ My main focus right now is the story I’m writing called Desert Rose which, as of now, is still incomplete.

~ New updates will (hopefully) be weekly.

~ I never have any good ideas for oneshots so I’ll be taking any requests people send me!

~ Most oneshots will be mainly female readers unless requested otherwise.

~ Feel free to request things regarding my series as well, oneshots, headcanons, etc. I’m always open to new ideas.

Fluff ~ 🧸

Angst ~ 🖤

Suggestive ~ 👀

Smut ~ 💋

Series!!<3

~ Desert Rose (ongoing) 🧸💋🖤👀

Series Masterlist Seasons 1-5

Series Masterlist Seasons 6-11 (coming soon)

Headcanons ~ Part 1 Part 2

Mini Oneshots!!<3

~ The Olive Theory 🧸

Summary : You tell Daryl about an old theory you had heard a long time ago, claiming it proved you two were a perfect match.

Oneshots!!<3

~ Enchanting 🧸

Summary : After Daryl meets you at a dreaded get together in Alexandria, his mind is constantly flooded with the thoughts of you. When months go by and he still hasn’t made a move, someone gives him just the nudge he needs.

~ Potions 🧸

Summary : One night when you’re in the middle of your skincare routine, your boyfriend Daryl suddenly becomes intrigued.

~ Chicken Soup for the Soul 🧸

Summary : When Daryl returns home from a longer run, you notice quickly he had come down with something. It takes a little convincing, but eventually, he allows you to take care of him.

~ Don’t Go 🖤

Summary : After returning from a run, Daryl quickly finds out that you had been severely injured while he was gone. The sight of you was heartbreaking, but the thought of losing you forever was even more painful.

~ Older 👀

Summary : When confessing your feelings for Daryl after keeping them bottled up inside for so long, he ultimately rejects you. But you somehow find a way to make him regret it.

~ Older | Part 2 💋

Summary : Things only grow more tense between you and Daryl as you meet for dinner to “discuss” what’s been happening between the two of you.

~ Sunshine 🧸

Summary : Daryl has always been somewhat of a serious man, taking everything going wrong around him to heart as he stewed over them constantly. But lucky for him, you’re always around to cheer him up.

~ A Friend 🧸

Summary : Working and dealing with the walkers outside the fences one day had grown to be too much as you desperately needed to get away from the noise. When you found something else to occupy your time, you slowly realize how boring it became. But luckily, Daryl’s able to keep you company.

~ Bedtime Stories 🧸

Summary : You and Daryl stumble into a library after being chased by a herd of walkers, forcing the two of you to stay hidden in the building for a long while. Though amongst the chaos, a sweet moment seems to unfold between the two of you.

~ Pretty When I Cry 🖤🧸

Summary : From the very start you had been struggling to have a decent relationship with the Dixon brothers. Trying your best to show your kindness since they arrived. But one day Daryl seems to snap after an incident, sending you spiraling in a flurry of emotions. However, he manages to venture back and pick up the pieces he’s broken.

~ Forever 🖤🧸

Summary : For months now, Daryl has found himself going down a deep rabbit hole of the thoughts in which he cannot escape. His insecurities about his age and your relationship is all he’s able to ponder over. But in the end, you make a promise to stick around forever.

~ Sticks and Stones 🧸

Summary : After arriving in the brand new community, you quickly find it’s not exactly what it chalked up to be. An incident occurs, causing you to snap. But Daryl just so happens to be at the right place at the right time.

~ Cigarettes After Sex 🖤💋

Summary : Knowing Daryl for so many years, it was still unclear what was going on between the two of you. Having to get past the fear in order to finally see what you had been missing out on all along.

~ Soap and Bubbles 🧸

Summary : When first arriving to Alexandria, you noticed that Daryl is having trouble adjusting. So, you find a way to help him relax.

~ Fuck it, I love you 🖤💋

Summary : You and Daryl had always been close since the start. But when things grow a little complicated after the Commonwealth, a wedge is created between the two of you. Though when two of your people suddenly go missing, it brings the two of you together once more after being apart for so long. But the question remains; is it enough to save your relationship?

~ Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder 🧸

Summary : When your insecurities start to get the better of you, Daryl manages to come in at the right time to give you the reassurance you need. Wanting to show you how he sees you through his own eyes.

~ Practice Makes Perfect 💋

Summary : When Daryl opens up about his lack of experience with relationships and…other things, he finds your reaction is definitely not what he expected.

~ Something New 💋

Summary : In a fit of heated passion, you accidentally reveal a secret kink you had always wanted to try. But surprisingly, Daryl isn’t put off by the idea

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Lord Husband (Chapter 4)

Cregan x reader

A/N: new character alert

word count: 1,202 words

Series Masterlist

“Ser Steffon won’t accompany me to Winterfell?” You ask your mother. It feels like another strike in the gut. Steffon Darklyn has guarded you since you were a child. Apart from your family, he is your closest friend.

“He is a part of my Queensguard. He must be with me or…” You know why she trails off. Her or her heir are the words she is looking for.

“Jacaerys.” You finish the thought for her and you hate the undertone of jealousy in your voice.

“You may take as many of your handmaidens as you like and we will find more than suitable guards for you. I would never allow you to be not well accompanied.” She is trying to be reassuring but it is to no avail.

“Then I shall have nobody to care for me in the North?” You regret the words as soon as you say them because you know what her response will be.

“Your husband will care for you.” It doesn’t make you feel better. You don’t want the demeaning care from a forced spouse. You desire care from the man who has been like a second father to you.

“I want Ser Steffon.” You say, your tone almost desperate.

“It wouldn’t be proper.”

Improper or a waste of resources? You wonder to yourself.

“You will be protected.” She reassures.

“It isn’t about that.” It’s about everything that is being torn away from you.

“Help me to understand, sweet girl.” She sounds just as desperate.

“Why did you have to send me so far away, far enough to isolate me?” You ask softly.

“I promise I thought your match through. Cregan gives you control. Putting you in the North gives you a role, not to be a tool to create an alliance, but to be a Targaryen presence so far from the throne. You will be in a position of great influence if you can gain your husband’s trust.” She seems serious but you aren’t sure if she is just trying to make you feel important when you aren’t. Though, it works. “If you wanted to stay close, we would have likely had to betroth you to Aemond.” You cringe at that. You were close to Aemond when the two of you were younger but there is such strife between you now. You’re sure he hates you. “He wouldn’t allow you the same level of freedom.”

“I know that.” You sigh. “I require a moment to collect myself, your Grace.” You give her a nod of respect before leaving, Ser Steffon trails after you. He knows what the topic of discussion was.

You let the tension stew in silence between the two of you before you decide to speak up. “What am I supposed to do without you?”

“You are a woman grown, princess. I know you will excel in Winterfell.” He says and you turn to face him.

“But i’ll miss you.”

“I am flattered deeply and truthfully, I will miss you also.” He says tenderly.

“Well then perhaps if you told the Queen you wished to accompany me…” You trail off, knowing your suggestion is silly.

“Princess…” He says in a certain way and you can sense the pity. “There is something that may make you feel better, though.”

“And that would be?”

“My nephew, Robert, has just recently been knighted. He is by no means a seasoned knight but I had a great influence in raising him when he was younger. He is a good man and a fearsome warrior. Mayhaps having him as a guard could bring you some sense of comfort?” Steffon suggests.

“That is a splendid idea. I should like to meet him. Now.” You reply, feeling almost happy at the prospect.

“Now? Of course, princess. I believe he is training in the courtyard.” He tells you and you immediately begin to make your way there.

When you arrive at the courtyard, you notice that there’s more than a few men training, Aemond and Criston included, who you ignore.

“Point him out.”

Steffon describes Robert and where he is but when your eyes fall upon him, the description doesn’t do justice. Robert is handsome, lean and strong with hair as black as tar and piercing green eyes. He fights with ease and elegance, not relying on brutish strength. You decide that he will be more than fun to have around. When Robert wins his fight, you clap for him. He notices the sound because he didn’t expect eyes to be on him when the dragon prince is fighting.

“Princess.” He bows as you walk over, his competitor stumbling into a bow as well.

“Your highness, I introduce you to my nephew, Ser Robert Darklyn.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Ser Robert.” You say with a little smirk.

“The pleasure is, of course, all mine.” He is clearly trying to stay confident but you can detect a hint of nervousness in his voice.

“You are a very skilled fighter.” You haven’t seen much but you’ve already decided what you want. You trust Steffon’s judgement. “And I am in need of a new guard.”

“Thank you, princess. I appreciate the recognition.” He manages to stay cool and calm. He has an easy way about his demeanour.

“Have you ever been to Winterfell?” You ask him.

“I haven’t been anywhere.” He replies, a man in need of something to free him from the monotony of being a second son.

“Perhaps you would like to come with me to Winterfell then, as my personal guard?” You ask him bluntly.

“I am honoured by your offer, your highness. I would like nothing more than to protect you in your new home.” He can’t seem to stop himself from smiling. For a man who seemed to be so stoic, the smile suits him.

“Good because we leave in three days. I apologize for the short notice but I wasn’t given much time to prepare for this change of plans.” You give Ser Steffon a pointed look.

Robert Darklyn has little time to respond before you turn on your heel, wanting to make sure you have everything you need for your travels. As you walk back to your chambers, you strike up conversation with Steffon again.

“I expect you to write to me. Perhaps once a week. Just to be filled in on how my brothers fair of course.” You say to him but you both know that all you want is to hear from him as much as possible.

“I think twice a week would be more appropriate. Your brothers do get up to lots of mischief and whatnot.” He says with a hint of a smile on his lips.

“I think that would be for the best as well.” You speak, a small smile on your face as you arrive at your chamber’s door. He holds it open for you. “Oh and one more thing, Ser… If I die in Robert’s care, I’ll kill you.” He smirks at that.

“He’s a much better knight than I was at his age. I promise the two of you will get along well.”

“Hmm.” You say, thinking about Ser Robert… very handsome Ser Robert. “I think we indeed will.”

Taglist(comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy

Lord husband: @feyres-fireheart @possiblyafangirl @hb8301 @marihoneywk @youn-jo @velvet-spider @janelongxox @ninastyless @nyctophilic0vitnir r @m-a-s-h-k-a @delicious-xx @weepingfashionwritingplaid @happinessinthebeing @betelrus @joliettes @black-swan-blog27 @mxtokko @valeridarkness @karolalolla @satan-s-ass @synindoodles