#i hated calculus so much
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sorry to the 14 year old kid i was explaining linear equations to i wasn't paying attention and was thinking of parfum d'etoiles 🙂↕️🙂↕️😊😊🙏
#🎐maddie speaks#i should pay attention at work#i swear to god#i had to explain how to find interceptdnlike 200 times#loekey inrememebrr struggling with that too#i hated calculus so much#i was an e1 math survivor
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I thought you liked physics ?
yes I do. I love physics. I love it bc I was raised by a brainiac engineer mother who taught me to see math as fun from a very young age. and sometimes it pisses me off bc I don’t understand concepts immediately and my ego is HURT but then I humble myself and learn it and I’m back to adoring it again
#I did an independent study in a biophysics lab for a semester which was cool#I do orgo research now but I think so much of being a good researcher is integrating methods from different disciplines#and this will probably apply for when I’m a doctor too#I was never an ‘ewww I hate MATH’ person like I literally took advanced physics & calculus classes willingly bc it was so fun#which is why I was so mad when the whole girl math trend happened. what is girl math. what do you mean#I just despise the trend of girls being corralled into less math based fields bc of this. I am never buying into that narrative ever#ask
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i hate calculus. i only want to calculate bebop bomb damage on my opponents. and put them on the blue foot lady. she is a gnat. bomb is a windshield.
#go away vindicta#scary blue lady#i love bebop#so much#i hate calculus almost as much as i love bebop#but i love bebop#deadlock#deadlock game
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#I fucking hate myself for the way I get so envious of the way everyone else seems to effortlessly communicate with each other#I'll see my girlfriend get a message and quickly fire of a paragraph of text in response and I'm just baffled at how that's even possible#I get one message and I spend an hour trying to formulate a response to some innocuous statement#having a conversation genuinely feels like I'm sitting down to take a calculus test and it takes so much of my brain power to do#but unlike calculus this is required to maintain my sanity#and it's hell on earth being forced to run myself into the ground every day just to fight off this crippling loneliness#I just wish it could be easier
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forcing myself to study biochemistry on the last day of break because i spent the first half of the week having a mental breakdown instead of catching up mood
#i hate you fuckass molecules#if there was a biochemistry of fish course my life would be so much less miserable#unfortunately i'm stuck with the pre-med loser nerds doing calculus for how fast a fuckass molecule can do fuckass molecule shit
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work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha
#IM BAKCIJ THE FUCKIGN BUIDLIGN .AGAIN. AUSUSUXHEHWHGLHKF#im grateful i have an internship for this summer with the way the job market is like currently.#im grateful that i have the opportunity to lessen the burden on my parents shoulders. im grateful that this job can pay rent and groceries#and tuition for a few terms im grateful i get to gain experience while still in school that will hekp me in the future#IM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THIS!!!!! BUT STILL I FUCLING HATE EVERYTHJGN#i hate being unable to eat anything ir sleep at night bc all i can think about is shit i have work tomorrow i have to email this guy and#finish these tasks and impress my manager and be approachable and enthusiastic and eager to learn and not make any mistakes#and not fail anything bc im getting graded on this its alwags grades its always the fucking grades#isnt it. it was the grades that had me crying on walks home from school when i was 9 and it was grades that made me waste away 9th grade#it was grades that made me unable to stomach anything during weeks with tests and it was and is still grades that#dictate every single fucking part of my life#and even tho the ppl who used to yell at me for getting a B in math in 5th grade are no longer yelling at me for getting 60s in linear algeb#ra and stats and calculus and cs#haha.ha when ur university is famous for its.. horribly high suicdie rates#i find that the yelling comes from me now. ive replaced the adults who would sit beside me at the dinner table#yelling bc yea guess what 8 year old me didnt understand division at first#god i hate this school so much. i hate what im studying im gratefula nd am so privileged to be ahle to further my educarion and receive#all these experiences mot everyone can have but god everytime i return to the city where the school is#i feel like throwing up and sobbing and just never ipening my eyes again#haha yea. i hope i csn get a job to support myself in the future#i hope i can still have time for hobbies#why si everyone at school so good at everything#ive met more people who have passed their rcm 10 and arct exams for piano than those who havent#i have classes with people who have already published research papers with professors in the states#my classmates can breeze through a cs assignment while still playing fir varisty teams. working out everyday. goijg ti parties.#eating and cooking balsnced meals each week. having a social life..the whole combo#meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day#how do i become like them#why was this about work anxiety at first and why is it about the eternal imposter syndrome and lack of self confidence#i just want money man... i dont give a shit about snything anymore
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every time i write the letter s it looks more and more like an integral
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WHY DOES MY MAJORING IN BIOLOGY REQUIRE ME TAKING FUCKING CALCULUS?!?! I CAN ASSURE YOU I WILL NOT BE ON A FUCKING SUBMARINE WHEN A SQUID COMES UP TO ME AND HANDS ME A FUCKING PARTIAL FRACTION TO SOLVVE OR HE'LL BLOW UP THE FUCKING RESEARCH CENTER OR WHATEVER??? I FUCKING HATE WHOEVER INVENTED CALCULUS AND I HOPE HE'S ROLLING IN HIS GODDAMN GRAVE LIKE A TURBO POWERED HOTDOG ROLLER EVERYTIME I FAIL AN EXAM
#fuck math#fuck calculus#i hate this shit#i want to drop out#but i cant#and i just want to sleep#but i have so much to do
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the best part abt being enrolled in a calculus iii course is that it means i finally passed calculus ii. i have been enrolled in no less than FOUR different calculus ii courses, three of which failed to work out for various reasons, and literally NONE of this (calculus ii being a necessary course for me to take in college) would have happened had it not been for NUMEROUS FACTORS beyond my control but it's fine it's cool i'm learning NEW MATH for the FIRST TIME in FOUR YEARS and i am LIVING
#(i'd have taken calculus bc in high school thereby allowing me to take calc iii right off the bat in college had it not been for y'know.)#(The Numerous Factors Beyond My Control Which I Am Still Extensively Salty About To This Day)#like i don't even use the word salty like that very often anymore n i guess it's bc the slang fell out of use + i'm not as salty a person#as i used to be? idk BUT I AM STILL VERY SALTY ABT MANY FACETS OF MY MANDATORY EDUCATION AND THE DECISIONS OF SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION#i hate school admin sooooo much but Anyway#the first calc ii course i failed bc the prof sucked ass#the second calc ii course i failed bc of quarantine hitting. i'd have totally passed otherwise i'm pretty sure#the third calc ii course i withdrew from bc i didn't vibe w the prof n also it was in the evening#then the fourth one was last winter n i was convinced i got a D or smth but i guess the prof had mercy n gave me a C or smth#WHAT MATTERS IS THAT MY SISYPHEAN HELL OF NEVER KNOWING IF I WILL PROGRESS IN THE ACADEMIC BRANCHES I WANT#IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER AND I AM FINALLY TAKING CLASSES I'D HAVE OTHERWISE TAKEN THREE YEARS AGO but it is okay#bc life keeps moving forward n i will keep moving with it#in other news my boss asked me if i'd like to basically take the lead on our afterschool programs n like.#if it keeps me from having to train for sports good lord i might as well even tho i can see like.#so much more work coming out of this bc if i'm gonna run smth or make anything out of anything i Need it to be Excellent#but what do you DO with a bunch of kids in an afterschool program???? my coworkers are like 'play sports outside'#and also i have many questions and requests to make to my boss when i see her next but it's cool i'm writing them all down#the worm speaks
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Asking My Guy Friend to Rate TWST Characters Except He Gives Some of the Goofiest Ratings (Octavinelle and Scarabia Ver.)
Previous: Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw (Part 1) Up Next: Pomefiore and Ignihyde (Part 3)
Azul Ashengrotto
*Parang detective - looks like a detective *Wala pang 10 - No 10 yet
Jade Leech
*Bakla - gay *Girl, Boy, Bakla, Tomboy - a filipino movie starring Vice Ganda *Gago - an expression that's more of used as an insult, meaning idiot/stupid
Floyd Leech
Kalim Al-Asim
*Piste- meaning pest, often used as a curse word *Asim kilig- pretty much this thing
(I can't really translate this since there's no direct translation to this i think?)
Jamil Viper
*Hoi hapita naka 10 - hoi it was close to a 10
#rany talks about twst#twisted wonderland#twst#twst jp#twst eng#twst shitpost#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al asim#jamil vipe#sorry guys took awhile to post cuz i had to study#FUCK ANOTHER CALCULUS EXAM TOMORROW CUZ OUR TEACHER GOT PISSED I HATE MY CLASSMATES SO MUCH
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what the fuck is WRONG with me this week, aghhhhhhhhhhh
#key speaks#i'm gonna cry and scream and bite things#mostly bite things#i Think i'm PMSing but i'm not sure#it's been a week of this which is longer than usual#and midterm stress on top of this is FUN#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i hate this calculus class SO MUCH right now#he gave us the world's least helpful study guide#and before looking at it i thought i could do all of the topics on it#but it's all REALLY HARD PROBLEMS#which he SAYS won't be on the test#but it's kinda destroying my confidence here#ughhhhhhhhhh
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Integral calculus is making me suffer, someone send help
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Just wrote a calc exam in which I forgot an important process and I left 2 problems incomplete :)
We'll see -- I'm projecting a 75-80 range :)
#inscribed infinite rectangles#how the fuck bro I forgot#advanced pre calculus and introductory calculus#aka ap pre-calc#I hate math so much#chronicals of ash the prince's school day lol
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killing my heart and soul and doing fucking data science and analytics in university instead of my life and my love literature and linguistics only for my dad to tell me i should get all As in all my modules so they can promote me to a 'better' course (comp sci). if even this course is disappointing i shd hv just done lit smh at least i would feel like a human. maybe the reason i dont do well is bc im killing my life and soul and going against my nature to do sth that i will alw be mediocre at
#i hate home so much these days#overprotective + parents who push their passions on you is such a horrible combination when you are an adult#idk how many haha im in data sci bc of my dad or hahah money lol haha i have left in me anym#wdym i hv to do calculus while my friends get to do actual cool modules in university#like. what do you mean. what do you meannnn#so legitimately painful being a humanities enthusiast in a country where the state of the arts is like this#and in a house where your STEM dad can never fathom how a humanities subject could be enriching or useful#and always sees them as less than sciences#some people never studied for the purpose of LEARNING and it shows
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college wants to kill me apparently
#ITS SO HARD IM GOING TO PERISH#I DONT EVEN LIKE COLLEGE#I JUST WANT TO PLAY MY SILLY LITTLE INSTRUMENTS AND WRITE MY SILLY LITTKE SONGS AND HAVE TREATS SOMETIMES#I HATE CALCULUS 2 SO FUCKING MUCH#I WANT TO LIVE IN A CITY AND WORK IN A BOOKSTORE GOD FUCKING DAMMIT#the urge to drop out tn is real#bee.txt#college bee
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well that was positively disastrous
#i don’t think i did any part of that tolerance stack analysis correctly and it was worth 20%#fits and threads were fine but they were only worth i think 25% together :/ maybe 35% i don’t remember#edit no definitely 25%#then my actual drawings were pretty sloppy and i didn’t have time to review the details#i think if i had a different professor they’d let me get away w that bc the main idea was definitely there#but my prof is definitely not going to let it slide if there are any little mistakes like i assume there are#and he docks sm for the tiniest things it’s fucking awful and doesn’t even make sense in the context of how many points exercises are worth#like he doesn’t seem to follow a rubric if you made enough mistakes i firmly believe the way he grades would land you with a negative score#like. hello#anyway. whatever i don’t want to think abt this anymore. onward to smth im actually decent at (calculus)#personal#the engineering chronicles#also im still pissed over the fact that all the other sections of this class have gotten a bunch of extra credit and we’ve gotten none like#this is not at all equal. lol#ALSO pissed bc even w my professor’s insane grading standards my assignment average is nearly 90% so im clearly not Bad at the subject i#just suck at the exams especially by his specifications 😭😭 i hate time restraints so so much#what job am i gonna get where they go LEIGH listen up. you have exactly an hour and fifty minutes to sketch and fully dimension two full#drawings and complete these pages of calculations. time starts Now
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