#i hate running around i hate existing in the physical and knowing people are seeing me so often

[bastardwhoisnamedrat]

so.... i think i like being outside and chatting up people and friendly interactions i just fucking Hate brick and mortar school and deadlines and classes and wandering around campus for hours doing homework and shit. i hate that

[harryslittlefreakk]

dating at the drive-in

summary: harry finally gets a chance to take out the pastor’s daughter, under the guise of learning about faith. but it’s y/n who ends up learning 👼🏻🍁📽️

warnings: mentions of religion

wordcount: 2.7k

a/n: hello beautiful people!!! this turned out longer than i planned on lol but i really loved writing this 🥹 i want to write more of them

if there are any tropes or ideas you want to see during fictober, let me know!! <3

fictober masterlist | main masterlist

You didn’t quite know how you'd ended up there.

Well, you did. It had taken weeks of endless planning and scheming, whispered late night phone calls and half-hearted prayers to a God you weren’t sure you believed in, asking for forgiveness you weren’t sure you needed.

It had started when you were paired up with Harry in biology - him the boisterous, popular football player, and you, the quiet, often ignored, pastors daughter.

You hated your dad's commitment to his faith, his insistence on your inclusion into a community you’d never asked to be a part of. You wanted to be like the other girls your age, the girls who got to hang out at the mall and roller rink on weekends, not lead the children through Sunday school. You wanted real friends, ones whose houses you were allowed to go to after school without your dad meeting their parents first, ones who could come to your house without being weirded out by the heads dipping around the dinner table, the Bible passages recited before cutlery met food. Most of all, you wanted a boyfriend, and being paired up with Harry had only exacerbated that need.

He was the class clown, the kind of boy you read about - the ones who were cheeky, reckless at times but always able to charm themselves out of any real punishment. He was the football teams star player, the girls favourite eye candy and the boys favourite teammate.

But he was more than that, and the more he opened himself up to you, the more you wanted to exist in a reality where he could be yours.

Harry was studious and sincere, his grades never slipping his even as he explained, and explained and explained, until you finally understood.

The lines between a crush and love - or at least your inexperienced, teenage definition of it - blurred further everyday, until your heart started to physically react to Harry’s presence. The way his hand brushed against yours as he reached for his pen, his dimples set deep in his cheeks as he watched you speak.

Then one day he’d looked at you, really looked at you, seeing the face beneath the lights and shadows of the classroom projector. His stare had forced a great red blush over your cheeks, your name slipping out of his mouth in whispered tones until you’d finally turned to face him. “I really- please, Y/N, let me take you out, there’s a movie at the drive-in, it’s a Friday, I-”

Your heart had broken, shattered into a million pieces as you finally got what you wanted and yet couldn’t have it.

“I can’t, Harry. My dad..” your voice trailed off, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “My dad is the town pastor. He’d never let me.”

But he hadnt given in. Hed appeared bright-eyed in the back pew the following Sunday, his brows furrowing as he tried to follow the prayers and preachings.

He'd waited until the crowds dispersed, approaching your dad with faux interest, introducing himself as a young man who wanted to explore faith and find where he might fit in.

"A fine young man”, your dad had recalled that evening. That was where you came in.

"He goes to my school, Daddy. He asked me to teach him, to tutor him through the Bible.”

Youd crossed your finges under the table and hoped, prayed with a conviction you’d never felt before, that your dad would allow you this.

You knew what was running through his head. A boy, wanting to spend time with his little girl. On the other hand, a boy who wanted to join his church, who could pull out the enthusiasm that he’d noticed you lacking lately.

“Thirty minutes, once a week, at this table. We can figure out a day later,” he’d agreed after a beat.

And so you had half an hour a week with Harry, not alone, but not under the watchful eye of your classmates. He was overwhelmingly polite to your parents, patient with your insane younger siblings, and soon he would join your family for dinner on the day you’d tutor him.

He’d bided his time, waiting to have your dad fully on his side before he proposed anything further. Still, when he’d (not so) secretly asked your dad if he could take you to a movie, purely on the basis that you deserved a real, sincere thank you for the time that you’d devoted to Harry, you hadn’t expected him to say yes.

He had his rules of course, home within fifteen minutes of leaving the movie, absolutely no funny business, and most importantly, to bring home some real movie theatre popcorn for him.

Your dad wasn’t a bad man, not really. He was loving and caring in a way other men weren’t, never mean or angry as you knew your classmates dads could be. He was merely strict, bound by the rules of his faith.

But still, there you were, feet propped on the dashboard of Harry’s car, Lionel Richie’s Endless Love playing softly from the stereo as you waited for the movie to start.

“Why did you do all of this?” you blurted out suddenly, turning to face Harry. “You could have any girl, one that comes without all the.. God.”

“You’re special,” Harry replied, leaning forward to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, his gaze intense as he looked over your face. “Besides, I really wanted to see this movie.”

You shook your head, his cheeky grin as infectious as always. “I haven’t seen the first one. I’m not really allowed to watch scary movies.”

“It’s not scary, I promise it’s not scary. It’s just this man, Michael Myers, he escaped from a mental institution and he goes back to his hometown to kill people,” Harry shrugged, nodding at one of the posters. “That’s him.”

“It sounds a bit scary,” you murmured, fiddling with the straw in your soda. The opening credits started to roll as you spoke, the ominous soundtrack already sending a chill down your spine.

“You sure you’re up for this?” Harry teased, a playful glint in his eye as he leaned closer, nudging you with his shoulder as he tuned the stereo into the right station.

You rolled your eyes, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bucket on his lap. “I’ll be fine,” you said, hoping Harry hadn’t heard the slight quiver in your voice.

“Of course you’ll be fine. No one would dare try to get you with me here,” he grinned, flexing his toned arm.

🍂˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚☕️

The movie started off slow, but the tension built quickly. Each scene seemed to draw you in deeper, until your heart was racing. The eerie music swelled, and before you knew it, you let out a little gasp, shrinking into your seat.

Harry chuckled softly beside you, his eyes never leaving your face, the arm he had wrapped around the popcorn bucket settled on top of your hand instead. "C'mere," he murmured, slipping an arm around your shoulders, gently pulling you closer.

You didn’t resist, settling into his warmth as his fingers brushed lightly against your arm. He gave a reassuring squeeze, but you couldn’t relax. The movie wasn’t scary, not really, but you were so full of tension, your heart pounding every time you remembered where you were - and who you were with.

Harry had this effortless charm, the kind that made your heart race the second he walked into a room. In the classroom, and over your dining table, it was like you could sense him watching you, his eyes lingering a little longer than necessary, his smiles just a bit more than friendly. And though you knew he was into you — the way he looked at you, the way he always found a way to be close, how his jokes were for your ears only, the fact that he’d even done all of this in the first place — you still couldn’t shake the nervous energy that clung to you every time they were together.

You hadn’t ever kissed anyone before, let alone had a relationship, and now, Harry was doing all the right things — the sweet touches, the lingering looks, the casual arm draped around your shoulders when you were sitting close. It was like he knew how to make you feel seen, but it only made you more aware of everything you weren’t sure how to do.

Whenever his hand brushed yours or his gaze caught yours for a moment too long, you would feel your cheeks warm and your heart stutter. You’d overthink every response, wondering if you were being too shy, too quiet, or if you should be more playful, like the girls who seemed to know exactly how to flirt. When he laughed at your jokes or flashed you one of those soft smiles, you’d forget how to speak, barely able to string together a sentence without making yourself look a complete fool.

Even there, sitting beside him in his car, your nerves hummed with anticipation. You could feel his eyes on you, the movie barely holding either of your attention. You wanted to act cool, to lean into him the way you saw in movies, but instead, you focused on your hands in your lap, your heart racing at the thought of him making a move.

When Harry shifted closer, brushing his knee against yours, you froze for a split second, but when you peered up at him, that easy, reassuring smile plastered on his face, you softened against his chest.

“You alright?” he asked softly, his voice low and gentle.

You nodded, your throat dry, but you couldn’t look away just yet. Not with the way your heart was pounding. You knew he could probably tell you were nervous — even if he couldn’t always read you so well, he could definitely feel it — but you weren’t sure how to act. Should you lean in? Should you say something flirty?

Instead, Harry shifted again, just enough to take your hand in his, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

Your breath caught, and for a moment, the words you’d been holding back nearly tumbled out: I’ve never kissed anyone. I don’t know what I’m doing. But instead, you bit your lip, your heart fluttering as you let yourself relax into him a little more.

The movie was the last thing on your mind, but you were vaguely aware of the music winding tighter and tighter until a sudden, loud bang burst from the stereo. You startled, your free hand instinctively curling into Harry’s t-shirt, the other gripping tight around his knuckles.

He smiled softly, his gaze lingering on you, warm and knowing, as if he could see right through the layers of uncertainty you’d been carrying all night.

He slouched in his seat until you were face to face, his thumb brushing over your cheek.

“Y/N, I know,” he said, pushing your hair from your face. “I know you haven’t done any of this before.”

Where other boys would be teasing or impatient, Harry was just... kind. You swallowed hard, your gaze flicking from the green of his eyes to his lips, then back again, not sure what to say, but Harry was already one step ahead of you.

“And I don’t mind,” he continued, his voice soft but firm. “We can do whatever you want. Or don’t want. You just tell me, and I’ll follow your lead, okay?”

You felt your breath catch, a mixture of relief and something else washing over you. He was giving you the choice, the control, making sure you knew he wouldn’t push you into anything.

But you wanted everything with Harry. You weren’t even totally sure what everything was, but you knew you wanted it. Your voice came out barely above a whisper. “Harry-”

You couldn’t even say it. He was one of the most popular boys in school, and you were about to ask him to kiss you. You screwed up your face, feeling even more pathetic than normal.

Harry’s smile was gentle as he cupped your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your bottom lip. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

You nodded, feeling your cheeks blaze.

“You sure?” he asked, giving you one last chance to change your mind.

You nodded again, your heart pounding. “Yeah. I want you to.”

That was all he needed. Slowly, Harry leaned in, closing the gap between you. When his lips finally met yours, it was soft and careful, as though he was holding back, making sure you were still comfortable. His hand slid to the back of your neck, fingers weaving into your hair as he deepened the kiss, moving slowly, giving you time to adjust.

Your pulse was racing, the sensation of his lips on yours sending shivers down your spine. You hadn’t expected to feel so much all at once, the warmth of his touch and the way he was so focused on you. There was a tenderness to it, but there was also a hunger you could feel simmering just beneath the surface, restrained but palpable.

As your body relaxed into the kiss, you found yourself responding more, your hand tentatively splaying across his chest. That was when it all changed.

It grew more heated, Harry’s lips pressing harder against yours, his breath mixing with yours as the tension between you intensified. His hand tightened in your hair, pulling you closer as your mouths moved in sync, slower but more deliberate, each kiss longer, deeper, until everything else seemed to fade away.

The air between you was thick with heat, and you could feel the weight of his desire, but still, Harry kept the pace measured, never pushing you beyond what she wanted. His lips were firm, his movements sure, but there was always that quiet restraint, like he was letting you set the tone.

When you finally broke apart, both of them breathless, Harry’s forehead rested against yours, his fingers still tangled gently in your hair. He grinned, his voice husky and low. “How was that?”

You smiled back, heart still pounding in your chest. “Perfect,” you whispered, your lips still tingling from the kiss, his taste still lingering in your mouth.

Harry pulled you onto his lap, his hands gentle but firm as he positioned you close. His eyes traced the outline of your face as his fingers laced back through yours. “You are so different to what I expected,” he told you, his voice soft.

Your heart skipped a beat as his words sunk in, and you tilted your head, waiting for him to continue.

"I didn’t notice you before. Then you had all that personality tucked away. And your dad…”

His hand rested on your hip, anchoring you to him, his thumb gently stroking your side. “You’re a good girl. Nice and good,” he finished, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose.

But you didn’t want to just be a good girl. You pushed forward, trying to summon a confidence you didn't quite feel.

Your lips met his in a soft, tentative kiss. It was almost hesitant, as if you were testing the waters, unsure if you were doing it right. Your hand found its way to the side of his face, a little shaky, but you hoped he wouldn’t notice.

Harry’s hand came to rest on your waist, the simple touch giving you the reassurance you needed. He didn’t pull you closer or take control like you half-expected. Instead, he let you lead, allowing you to find your own rhythm.

You could feel yourself relaxing, gaining a bit more confidence with each passing second. Your kisses became firmer, more assured, though there was still a certain vulnerability.

“Nice and good,” Harry repeated when you pulled away, a shaky laugh bubbling out of your throat as he held you close.

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[alphajocklover]

So for Halloween, what about a story of a geeky "vampire" that goes around ducking the muscle out of alpha type jocks and bodybuilders?

The first thing you need to know about Vampires is that, yes, Vampires are real. I’ve only really talked about Alphas and Camous, but there are actually a lot of nonhuman creatures in the transformation community, and in the world itself. Some are way less human than others, and many are very hard to find, but they’re out there. 

The second thing you need to know about Vampires, is that they’re nothing like the ones you’ve seen in the movies. Vampires like that, ones who feasted on blood and burned in the daylight, used to exist, but over time they’ve evolved. They’ve evolved much faster than humans do, to the point where they’re completely unrecognizable. They don’t have super strength or speed, they don’t have to be invited into a building to enter, and they don’t drink blood. Today's Vampires feed on something else entirely. They feed on traits.

It’s hard to explain exactly how they do it. Traits, even the more measurable ones like physical traits and IQ, are fairly subjective. So how do you feed on something like that? It’s so hard to wrap my mind around that I’m not entirely sure how it's possible. What I do know is that they can do it easily. Prolonged skin to skin contact with a victim allows a vampire to drain a trait out of a person. They devour the potential that person had, consume that part of their victims' Identity. The trait doesn’t just go away though, itt transfers over to the Vampire. Vampires don’t just eat traits, they steal them. 

I know this sounds kind of scary. In a world of transformations, where we already have such little control over who we are, real life Vampires who can steal your traits can be a little threatening. They could take a physical trait, a mental one, a social one even. Any part of your identity is up to grabs for them, like you’re a walking buffet. But there are ways to stop Vampires, or at least ways to spot them before they get too close. 

I want to start by telling you what won’t work, because there are a shocking amount of inaccuracies out there. Holy Water is powerful, but it works on Demon and Devils, like my Uncle’s boyfriend Nick, not Vampires. A stake to the heart will kill a vampire, as will chopping off their head, but only because either of those would kill anyone. Don’t try it, you’ll go to jail. They’re slightly sensitive to garlic, but not enough anyone will really notice, and both running Water and sunlight don��t have any effect at all. You may be a little concerned because that's actually a lot of their weaknesses I've just struck out, but they still have a couple key ones that could help you. For one, they hate silver. It won’t truly harm them, but they get unnaturally uncomfortable around it, so it acts as a repellent. Some sort of leftover evolutionary trait from when they were like the creatures in the movies. Another is their age. One thing Vampires are constantly doing is stealing youth. Usually just a couple months here and there from different people, so no one notices any discrepancies. It’s why vampires never age in the myths and stories, because they don’t seem to age in real life. If someone has been young, or looked young, for a long time, that may be an indication they’re a vampire. They also do have fangs, but to most they appear to just be slightly larger canine teeth The best way to figure out if someone is a vampire though is their reflection.

Unlike the movies, Vampires do have reflections. They appear in mirrors, just… not as they appear in real life. The mirror, for whatever reason, will always reflect the Vampire’s original, natural form. It doesn’t matter how many years a vampire steals, or how much muscle they take from unsuspecting jocks, they will always look in a mirror and see themselves for how old and skinny they really are. This doesn’t apply to pictures, so a lot of Vampires just avoid mirrors and look at themselves through cameras, but if you suspect someone is a Vampire a mirror is the quickest and best way of sniffing them out.

Even if you’re covered in silver and carry a pocket mirror, don’t think you're automatically safe. Vampires are masters of deception, and are skilled at working their way into people's lives. Not only that, but they can steal traits from other mythical creatures, not just humans. An Alphas dominance, a Camous camouflage, a devils magical power. The best Vampires have an arsenal of powerful tricks from those they’ve taken advantage of before.

Vampires are, frankly, a very interesting and terrifying part of the world. But because of their ability to pick and choose their traits, they’re also incredibly attractive. Take this one, who just stole the muscles of his latest victim. The former jock hasn’t even noticed yet, and the Vamp is reveling in it. That’s not uncommon, Vamps like to play with their food

*This isn't technically a trick or treat ask, but it's halloween themed so I'm going to group it with those. I hope you guys love the idea of trait vampires as much as I do!*

[starry-bi-sky]

"Stillborn? No, still born" Danyal au -- VLAD MASTERS THE BITCH HIMSELF

*Points at Vlad* THIS MFER GOT SOME TEEFS TO HIM. !! Okay okay, Vlad Masters in the stillborn au is different compared to most of my other aus in the fact that I am far more heavily leaning into his original ambitions of wanting a family and being desperately lonely. Because you know what wanting a family implies? Wanting to be a parent.

Fucked up father figure that could've been Vlad. Complicated love-hate relationship between the only two halfas in existence.

Danny hates Vlad, but he hates even more that he's genuinely considered his offers of mentorship. Vlad is the only halfa around, and they both have fire cores. Danny has these powers he doesn't understand, can barely comprehend some days, and can't control. But Vlad does. Vlad can. And Vlad wants to help him. He's the only other person who can get close whenever Danny runs too hot. Whenever his igneous hair cracks, splits, and spits back out into magma and his friends can't get close, Vlad can.

His hair is made of magma, which runs so hot that people need specialized suits in order to get near it. He physically cannot get close to the living as a ghost unless he's calm enough for his hair to cool into igneous rock. Which isn't as often as he would like. And sometimes he's too hot for other ghosts to get near unless they have fire cores -- which Vlad has.

There have been many times when Danny's having a meltdown (literally) and gone somewhere to be alone, to let his anger and hurt and loneliness overflow and spill out, that when he's come back to, Vlad's right there with him as an anchor. It's desperately frustrating, it's the only time they can get along. They don't say anything, Danny just turns and clings onto the only person he can touch as a ghost.

Its not fair. Vlad wants to kill his foster dad, and Danny can't let him do that. But he wants to be trained by the man, he wants his help and wants what he can offer. But Vlad can't step away from his revenge long enough to let him. It's just not fair. He thinks for a moment that maybe it could work, and then Vlad does something to remind him that no, it can't.

Vlad Masters sees too much of himself in Daniel Brown -- from the way he holds himself, to the defenses he puts up, his quiet anger that builds and builds and builds until it explodes. That simmers beneath his skin. All the way down to the fact that they have matching cores. This boy is cut from the same cloth as him, and by god does he want to help him. He's always wanted to be a father, and Daniel Brown is too much like him for him to ignore. He genuinely, truly cares about Danny and his wellbeing.

He wants to help him, child just let him help you. Let him kill your foster dad so he can adopt you himself and help with these powers that terrify and intrigue you -- he knows what that's like to have something that you can't control, to have a heat that you can't cool down from. "We're in the same boat you and I, let him help you please."

But his methods are all wrong, and Danny is too much like him -- stubbornness and all -- for him to agree when they oppose each other so greatly. But again, Danny is much like him -- which means that Vlad is equally stubborn, and in every single one of their fights he's parental. He's annoyingly parental. He drops his interest in Maddie to focus his efforts in trying to coax Danny onto his side. It's like trying to get a traumatized cat to trust you, and on some levels it works. It's like he makes some progress, and then moves too quickly and the cat immediately runs off and you have to start back from square one.

TL:DR; Vlad and Danny both want to find family in each other but they're too different to get along and ultimately they are doomed by the narrative to be at constant odds with one another unless one of them is changes, and it doesn't matter who.

[strangersteddierthings]

Porcelain Steve

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six🦇Part Seven🦇Part Eight🦇Part Nine

Eddie is, perhaps, the only person who seems to be handling the fact Steve has been turned into a porcelain doll in a level-headed sort of way. Probably because he's the newest person to be privy to Upside Down shenaniganary and quiet honestly just thought 'ah. Of course. Why wouldn't something like this be possible?' instead of freaking out and screaming like everyone else.

"It's a physical impossibility, Robin!" Dustin shouts.

"Well, we thought monsters didn't exist before, but guess what-" Robin is shouting back.

"The monster situation was scientifically plausible, now proven scientifically true! Transforming a living person into a doll is magic, and magic isn't real!"

"It fucking is now! Look at Steve!! Look at him!" Robin, who is holding Porcelain Steve, shakes him in Dustin's face, complete with the clack of porcelain on porcelain.

Eddie isn't even fully aware he moved from his spot on the couch in the Byers-Hopper living room until he's snatching Steve out of Robin's hands with the thought of 'he gets migraines too easily for you to shake him like that' and then is left wondering if little Porcelain Steve can get migraines. "Stop waving him around like a flag, Buckley. Porcelain is fragile, you could break him."

It's a testament to how worried Robin really is about breaking Steve that she doesn't instantly rip him back out of Eddie's hands like she had when Nancy had first picked him up.

"We don't even know that's Steve," Dustin has never been gracefully about potentially not being right and now is no different.

"I know that, Henderson!" Eddie snaps, pulling Steve to his chest in a protective two armed hug, "But wouldn't you feel like shit if this is Steve, somehow magically changed, and we've accidentally murdered him by busting his little porcelain face?"

That brings Dustin to a pause and Robin starts up again, backed by Will now.

Eddie retreats, not back to the couch, but out the front door and away from the arguments. Aside from hating the sound of people yelling at each other himself, he doesn't want Steve to hear it either. Steve only enjoys an argument he can be bitchy in, and he can't really participate.

That is, if Steve can even hear anything. If this is actually Steve changed, and not just the creepiest ransom threat left in the form of a perfectly porcelain replica. Down to the moles on his face and the scars on his torso, which Robin had claimed felt like paint when she'd ran a shaking finger over them.

He sits down gently in the front lawn, crisscrossing his legs and lays Steve in the cradle they create. Blank hazel eyes stares up unblinking into the sun and Eddie finds himself hovering a hand above Steve's face to... protect his eyes, he supposes. He'll admit to feeling a little embarrassed about doing it -anyone walking down the street could see him shielding the eyes of a doll in his lap- but if Steve is trapped in there, can see out those eyes, well, he'd rather do the kind thing and be little embarrassed about it.

"Don't know if you can hear or not, Harrington," Eddie says, "but worry not. If anyone can figure out how to return you to your flesh prison, it's this crew. Not that you need my assurance on that. You know what they're capable of better than I."

It's quiet on the front lawn except for the occasional car rolling down the street or dog barking somewhere down the road. Eddie's never been a fan of quiet, so he talks to fill the silence. Not about anything really important. He recaps the current Dungeons and Dragons campaign he's running for Hellfire, which has been relocated to Jeff's dining room for the summer.

"And Will, very smart strategist that one, delayed his turn in initiative -that's the order they take turns in in combat- to cast Fireball in the room once everyone had run out of it. Worked great, especially since several of the creatures were invisible at the time and-" Eddie goes on, interrupting his own story to explain mechanics, or spells, or give backstory on why something was important, so that Steve wouldn't be too confused about everything. It probably all still sounds like a foreign language to him, or he's just tuned Eddie out, but Eddie would like to think that Steve would appreciate it.

Eddie sits outside long enough for his butt to go numb and for the sun to shift lower in the sky before he hears the front door open and close and Robin sits herself down next to Eddie.

"Come to some sort of agreement yet?" Eddie asks, turning his face towards Robin.

"No," Robin sighs, reaching a hand out. At first, Eddie thinks she's going to take Steve but she just pets at his hair for a moment before pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. "El's got an idea, though. Don't know why we didn't think of it sooner. She's going to try and find Steve, y'know, with her mind. Someone will come let us know what she discovers, so no rush to head back in."

"Oh," Eddie replies dumbly, looking from Robin down to Steve. They sit quietly for a few minutes before Eddie says, "Is it wrong of me to hope that this is Steve?"

"Depends on why you hope that's Steve, I guess."

"'Cause then we know he's safe," Eddie says softly, almost a whisper. "'Cause if this is Steve then he's not... not kidnapped somewhere, alone, maybe being beaten up or tortured or- those things happen far too often."

"Then no. It's not wrong to hope. I think right there in your lap is probably the safest place Steve's been, well, ever."

"I don't know Buckley, he was pretty safe in your hands."

"I shook him around like a ragdoll, Munson," Robin levels him with a look, "I'm woman enough to admit I get caught up in my nerves and don't think of consequences. I'm not, like, the number one klutz or anything but it didn't even occur to me that we could really hurt Steve until you said it. Like, what if what happens to the doll actually happens to Steve? What happens if his arm shatters or-" she cuts herself off to pull in a shaky breath.

"Nothing is going to happen to Steve," Eddie says, voice more confident than he truly feels but comforting Robin is important. Steve usually grounds her with some bitchy look and sarcastic phrase but he's not close enough to Robin for him to be sure he wouldn't just be insulting her instead of joking. "I won't let anything happen. You won't. No one in that house would."

A deep breath from Robin, then, "yeah. You're right. You hear that Steve? We've got you, and nothing's going to happen to you except becoming a real boy again."

Eddie huffs out a laugh and sits in the quiet with Robin, waiting to be called back inside once El has made contact with Steve.

[potions-of-dark-devotion]

Gotta Get This off my Chest

Severus Snape & HBO Series

Alright first off, I know you are generally expecting well thought out essays from me but here I’m going to Ramble Freeform. You’ve been warned.

I don’t know how I feel at all about another actor attempting to play Severus Snape. JK Rowling is the main producer and honestly this worries me a lot considering the amount of hatred she has for LGBTQ people and the amount of hatred Severus has gotten in the last years. This space is bad sometimes but generally we have a fantastic community of people in this snapedom who love the character as he is written positives and negatives. I for one liked Snape from the first book I read and the first movie I watched.

I’ll be the first to admit that my image of him is very much wrapped up in Alan Rickman, and tho I greatly respect other peoples images of snape and I love the fan art they make, the thing that made Alan such an amazing character actor for the part was the unabashed love he had for the character. Look at any interview of him about Severus and you will see that he went to bat for him at every turn. What if we we are given someone who sees Snape through the eyes of the marauders fandom? What if they erase all of Snapes goodness or heaven forbid write extra scenes of cruelty to Lily that didn’t exist, or have him creep over her, or physically attack her, or characterize him as the aggressor with James when we all know it was the other way around? These kinds of fears keep me from being excited about the new series and instead leave me anxious.

For one thing, I wish they had focused more on a different period of wizard history, or a different part of the 1st wizarding war or even marauders/young Severus era, because there is so much to explore. I would have liked to explore story lines that really could use more fleshing out, and if JK Rowling is going to be a part of this she could have easily written new passages or short stories to suit this new narrative. I also worry about the fact that yet again because she is a producer there will certainly be no LGBTQ characters in the narrative and that’s a waste to me. We already have a fantastic interpretation of the books, and if they are doing a redo why not cast people of color or trans or any LGBT characters in the mix? It will be the same story just perhaps fleshed out more? I’m not sure what this series will bring to the table that the movies did not unless they radically change some things.

Yet, with this interpretation we may see many thing in the series that we don’t see in the books. Severus has two big scenes at the end of POA and GOF that were totally left out of the movies, and if this was left in and the “prank” was explored more in depth we could get to see an even more complex narrative than Alan was allowed to portray in the movies (largely due to directorial choices).

Severus as we all know is a complex character that can be different or difficult to understand without a trauma informed lense and the last thing I want is for them to shove him into a gross stereotype, or give him attributes that don’t exist in the books in order to cater to certain fandoms. I’m genuinely worried about the prospect of this. I also don’t want our fandom safe spaces that we’ve spent years curating to be over run with Snape hate again just because of the series. I could be being pessimistic. It’s just been on my mind lately.

No hard feelings it’s just…Severus Snape is my comfort character and I don’t want the idea of it ruined by people who don’t really understand him or who wouldn’t bat for him the way Alan did. Please understand me. Does anyone else have mixed feelings this way?

[aithusarosekiller]

Why Jegulus would actually work with their (barely existent) canon personalities:

This isn't a place for a debate so literally don't bother, I'm just trying to articulate to appeal to the 'iT maKEs No seNsE' crowd because while I don't care about canon, some Jegulus haters don't respect you unless you worship it so

-

First: James' benefit from it-

To begin with, you have the superiority complex. As much as fans (and Sirius) like to say that Sirius immediately saw through his parents' beliefs when he was born and was a perfect activist from infancy, this is not true. First of all it's highly improbable and much more likely that he told that sort of tale that in order to convince himself and Harry that he was always good, but he isn't and we see that. He is progressive but he still treats Kreacher incredibly poorly, he uses oppressed creatures as jokes and sees no issue with it (yeah, canon-worshippers, sorry but in PoA there is no remorse for the prank, he laughs about it proudly) so he would have had to grow out of most of the behaviours he did have when he was sorted. He would carry some leftover beliefs from his family that James and the others had to help him unlearn. He would be willing to of course but it was still work. Why on earth would James not have reason to think 'I can do it again! They were raised in the same house they're practically the same.' Sirius had described his brother as weak and idiotic so James sees it as an easy win for his ego and the worth of his name, maybe even in Lily’s eyes.

And even when he falls in love and realises he may not be able to change them? Canonically? James wouldn't care. Not before he was 17 at least. He only ever relies on equality when it matters to him. They bully for no reason but target Snape a lot anyway, they already hate him when James sees the opportunity to stand up for Lily, speaking over her wishes instead of with her. He seems more intent on humiliating Snape and making a scene than actually fixing any issues. He's never truly evil but he's not a perfect virtuous angel. So him staying with someone who's morals are compromised wouldn't feel evil to him, he still thinks he's great and perfect, he just loves people who aren't. Let teenage James be morally grey, it's all he ever has been. It would give a pretty cool exploration of his growing maturity in the later school years. There's no real explanation for it apart from 'well it worked for him getting Lily' (which I hate, he nastily jokes about dating her infront of a crowd in exchange for not physically assaulting her friend and then she marries him? Give them more fucking depth than that, it reminds me of too many creeps I know) so it would be kind of cool to explore what could have set him off down the path of becoming a better person. Maybe age or outside pressure but I like the idea of him having a personal relationship that helped him to grow. He's with someone he can never be open to the public with and it's eating away at him because technically he should call it off but he doesn't bloody want to. When it ends, it's all too much and he chooses to flip his life over. He realises how Lily must have felt having Severus turn around on her and force her to leave him; he looks at the war and social climate with more integrity. He begins to change for the better in response to this upheaval of his life and his heartbreak. Also regulus gave him that snitch he was playing with and nobody can convince me he didn't.

Now for Regulus:

The betrayal is the obvious one, he'd always been tentative and naive according to Sirius. Sirius is under the impression he would've just tried to run when it got scary and we can assume he just misjudged him but wouldn't it be interesting if somebody was there to help him embrace his courageous, reckless side? If James sat there whispering words of victory and bravery to him, planting the seeds for his later rebellion? It could also have begun to place seeds of doubt in his mind surrounding the death eaters, even if they did not come to fruition until later. Even if you think he only changed due to Kreacher being hurt, the disproportionate response of sacrificing his entire life over it in some grand display of power is SO JAMES of him.

Then there's the opportunity to explore him on a more personal level. Who is he outside of his family? Was the locket the only secret betrayal or were there more? How does this impact his relationship with Sirius, regardless of him knowing of it or not? It adds even more layers to the meaning of his name and it helps to explore his own doubts before they are ever apparent to his family. James would likely not feel a sense of betrayal in not telling Sirius due to his ego and the fact that British teen boys are just like that™️ with their friend groups. But would Regulus? He would likely feel guilt anyway, but towards his brother? Did he still see him as a family member, as someone worth telling things to, as someone James belonged to? Well never know the canonical answers to this and that's why it's so FUN to explore. The layers to the secrecy and hope in their relationship is amazing.

What are his lingering feelings like after it ended? Hatred, regret, jealousy? And for James- guilt, sorrow, crushed hope?

The timelines add up too- the mark, James growing more mature, the snitch and the bullying of Snape.

And if your argument is 'they're not gay' tell me what makes you think that. Their personality? There isn't one 'way' to be gay. Prejudices? You think gay people are born holding a rainbow flag and chanting peace and love? So may gay ppl are vile to other marginalised groups. James married a woman? Bi people exist.

You don't have to like it, but don't say it makes no sense becuase it can and neither do half of your hcs about wolfstar and the prank and James' sunshine personality and how perfect jily were

[itsbeeble]

LET LOOSE

SUMMARY: Younghoon has hated you since the day he met you. He thought you were stuck up with that better-than-you princess attitude of yours. What better than to just…fuck it right out of you?

GENRE: smut, fluff, angst, crack

PAIRING: Kim Younghoon x afab!reader (ft. eric)

WC: 5.3K

SERIES MASTERLIST

PERM TAGLIST: @juyeonszn @winterchimez

18+ MDNI AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

WARNINGS: Swearing, public sex, floor sex, academic rivals that everyone knows secretly want to fuck, enemies to lovers, missionary (that's a first wow), sexual references, mentions of alcohol, insults (not sexual), arguments, pining, mentions of killing someone as a joke, dry humping for like two seconds, making out, mentions of marking, mentions of oral, guys i think this is the least slutty fic I've written for this series, y/n is stuck in a perpetual state of denial, let me know if I missed anything but i think that's it

A/N: Everyone allow me to introduce Doll's less-slutty cousin!! I can't believe we're over halfway through this collab omg. I'm really glad people are loving this and I hope you guys have been catching the easter eggs me and Fawn have been throwing into our fics 😏

If anyone asked you what you thought of when you thought of local star student, heartthrob, and frat boy Kim Younghoon, you would scoff and cross your arms over your chest. 

“I hate him,” you would say, your lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed until they were practically touching. “I hope his house burns to the fucking ground.” 

One would think this was a gross overreaction, that you probably held a grudge over something stupid, or that he killed your dog or maybe he copied off your essay but made it seem like you were the one who plagiarized. And oh, how that would’ve been much simpler. 

The true story, however, goes all the way back—

“Thinking about me again?” A hand cracks down on the desk in front of you, your mind and body jerking back to reality. 

There he is, you think to yourself, the bane of my fucking existence. Your teeth are already grinding together, your grip tightening around the pencil you’d been using to write your notes and all he’s doing is standing there with a stupid fucking smirk. 

“Why would I be thinking of you?” You bite out and Younghoon places a hand over his heart in mock hurt.

“Ouch, sweetheart.” Your body stiffens and your face contorts with disgust at the nickname.

��Don’t call me that, douchebag.” Younghoon sighs dramatically, dropping down to be at eye level with you. 

“So cruel to me,” a pout, and then he’s smirking again. “What if I was into that, sweetheart?” 

You might throw up.

“What do you want?” you groan, noting how other students have begun to flood out of the lecture hall while you’re putting your things away. Younghoon shrugs, rising to his feet at the same time as you. Had you been a weaker woman, his height would’ve had your knees wobbling and your panties hitting the ground but, fortunately, you were a strong woman. Some of your friends couldn’t relate to that despite your very clear and very much valid hatred for him. 

“I just wanted to see what you were up to,” he shoves his hands into his pockets, rocking back onto his heels. “Considering that we’re now partners for this assignment.”

Your heart drops into your stomach, your eyes widen, and your cheeks are fighting between going pale and burning bright as a tomato.

“What are you— what do you mean we’re partners?” You echo, and his smirk only widens. Your shoulder bashes into his arm while you make your way to the front of the lecture hall where the list of partners is posted. He trails behind you, long legs making it easy to keep pace despite how impossibly fast you seem to walk.

“Aren’t you so excited?” He sounds too excited about this, and you have to physically stop yourself from grabbing him by the neck and choking him where he stands. “We get to work together for the whole semester!”

“I still don’t see how this is a problem,” Dawon tells you her tongue running over her lip as she watches you pace the length of your dorm suite’s lounge area. “Isn’t he, like, super hot? And smart?”

Your lip curls into a sneer and you whip your body around to look at her.

“He is not hot,” your voice has raised in pitch, your arms waving frantically. “He’s— he’s stupid and— and annoying, and he doesn’t know how to shut up, and his face— oh his face is just so— so—”

“Kissable?” Suyeon offers when she makes her way over with a steaming mug of tea. 

“I think rideable is a better word,” Dawon grins at the way your jaw drops at the two of them. 

“He does have a very rideable—”

“Okay, enough!” You snap, your face beginning to burn bright red in anger.

“Ooh she’s blushing!” Suyeon giggles and your face only burns brighter. 

“You both are insufferable,” you throw yourself back onto the couch, your head turned toward the ceiling. “Kim Younghoon is annoying, stuck up, and his face is not kissable or rideable.” 

“So you’re saying you’ve thought about it before?” Suyeon presses and you roll your eyes.

“Hell no. Why would I think about that?”

“Because he’s your mortal enemy and everyone ends up fucking their mortal enemy at some point.”

“Plus he’s a yummy, scrumptious, daddy cupcake.”

“Ugh, so true Dawon.” Suyeon squeezes your roommate’s hand, the two of them grinning deviously at each other.

“That’s— did you just call him— No, that’s not the point. The point is, that’s not true!” You lift your head, eyes wide with horror. “That only happens in books!”

“Not just books,” Suyeon raises her mug to her lips with a hint of a smirk on her face. “Didn’t you hear about the KAT and TBZ presidents?” 

“Oh my god, Eric told me about that!” Dawon gasps. “Apparently they—”

“I don’t need to know the details of their sex lives.” You interrupt again. “God, you two are just…”

“Don’t you just love us?” Dawon winks at you, and you wrinkle your nose in distaste.

“Let’s not go that far.” Her lips twist, and the three of you go quiet for a moment. 

“Why do you even hate him?” 

Ah, there it is. The same question everyone had been asking since the day you started at this school. 

Why do you hate Kim Younghoon? 

“It’s complicated,” you tell them what you always say. You tell them that it’s nothing they should be concerned about. He knows what he did.

“Then uncomplicate it.” Suyeon is much softer than Dawon, her eyes furrowed but not with the mild irritation Dawon has. It’s more…concern than anything else, and for a moment you think about telling them. Think about dropping your petty act, let them know exactly what about Younghoon bothers you so much. 

You open your mouth, and the two girls in front of you lean forward expectantly, practically on the edge of the tiny couch that had been squeezed into the suite.

“I can’t.”

“That isn’t going to work, sweetheart.” Younghoon says, waltzing up to you after your failed attempt to talk your professor into letting you change partners or work alone. Your shoulders are slumped in defeat, something that Younghoon seems to laugh at. “You’re stuck with me.”

“I really hate you, Kim Younghoon.” You lift your head, wanting so desperately to glare at him but you can only find the strength to stare blankly. He kisses his teeth, eyebrows furrowing.

“That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?” 

“Who cares? It’s true.” 

You want to scream. You want to throw your body onto the ground and throw a tantrum, to cry and whine, to kick and punch the air—anything to get out of this situation. 

“All this because I got a better grade than you in one class in high school.” Younghoon shakes his head, his hair falling into his face and obscuring his eyes partially. Your heart thuds against your ribcage (because of the memory, obviously). 

“You really think that’s the only reason I hate you?” Hint: he’s right for once. Would you ever tell him that? No. As far as he knows, you have endless reasons to hate him. As long as he lives, that list will grow. In fact, it would be better if he knew that you’d be pissed if he died before you because that means he tried to escape one last competition, but you’d hate it even more if he died after you because that means he would win one last time.

“That’s all I can think of,” he shrugs and you kiss your teeth. 

“Disappointing me again, douchebag.” He scoffs at that.

“Of course I am. When am I not upsetting you about some bullshit?” 

Oddly, this time you don’t answer him. At least you don’t give him an answer to that question. 

“Listen, Kim Younghoon,” you place a hand on your hip, shifting your weight to lean mostly on one leg. He leans toward you a bit, slightly angling his head as if trying to hear you better. “You’re the most annoying, egotistical, snobbish boy I’ve ever met. You always have this, like, need to be better than me— than everyone.” 

Younghoon inhales, his eyebrows knitting together and his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. You can see the irritation in his gaze, can see him fighting the urge to snap at you and it has your stomach churning. When he finally responds, it’s not exactly what you expected. You thought he would snap back at you, tell you to go fuck yourself, to call you the same insults you just called him.

He doesn’t.

“Meet me in the library at 4 o’clock.” Your head jerks back, your nose wrinkling with confusion. 

“Excuse me?” Younghoon just smiles coyly, already turning away from you.

“Don’t you wanna get this project done so you don’t have to deal with me?” He can practically see the wheels turning in your brain, contemplating all your options. 

“I mean yeah, but how do you know if I’m even free—”

“You’re always at the cafe at the same time as me,” Younghoon glances down at you, stepping to the side as he pushes open the door of the lecture hall. You say nothing as you push by him. “I’m starting to think you’re obsessed with me, sweetheart.”

“That’s not— I would never— how—” You sputter, stumbling over your words and waving your hands in the air while you try to come up with something to say. Something to deny. Younghoon begins to smile again, coy and near-mocking. 

“I don’t hear you actively denying anything.” His eyes widen and he bends forward, lowering his face to be near yours. Your cheeks are heating up, your mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. Words. You need words. Why is nothing coming out?

“Shut the hell up, douchebag.” He laughs and your stomach churns again. Is he laughing at you?

“I’ll see you at 4, sweetheart.” Younghoon starts to reach his hand toward you as he leans up, but thinks better of it and drops it back to his side. 

“Yeah, sure,” you scoff and turn your back to him.

Fucking prick.

“You have got to be kidding me,” You toss a stack of papers onto the table you’re sitting at, glaring at the notes Younghoon wrote on the whiteboard. He’d rented a study room for a few hours, giving you time to start working. 

Or, at least, try to start working. You had made no promises about not trying to kill him and making it so neither of you could get any work done. Although, you had thought about running him over with your car so that you would have an excuse to work on this alone.

The blinds over the door had been shut, blocking anyone from looking in and potentially seeing you try to kill a man. Lucky for you.

“What’s so wrong with what I wrote?” He squints at the board and you push yourself out of the old, creaky chair you’d been sitting in. 

“It’s contradictory!” You complain, reaching around him for the eraser. He grabs your hand before you can do anything, turning on you with a scathing glare. 

“It’s not, though!” 

His grip tightens on your wrist when you pull it away. You narrow your eyes, but he doesn’t waver at all. There’s heat behind his gaze, heat that makes you nervous. You know he won’t hurt you, that’s not who he is. The heat though…that makes you nervous. It’s the same heat you’d felt several times in the past few weeks. 

“Let me go, Kim Younghoon.” He leans his head toward yours and your throat begins to close, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Not until you tell me why it’s contradictory!” He snaps. You swear your ears start to ring, your vision closing in until all you can see is Younghoon. 

“It’s— why does it matter so much to you?” His grip finally loosens and you rip away from him with a huff. 

“Because you’re putting down my work! Again!” He flings his hands into the air and you bite your tongue. “Why do you hate me so much?”

A lump in your throat, tears in your eyes, and Younghoon drops your hand. He looks defeated, his shoulders slumping and his lips set into a deep frown. 

“I just,” Younghoon sits in his chair, the old wood creaking under his weight. You stand in the middle of the study room, hands by your sides and your eyes flicking around nervously. Your posture is so tense compared to his, your eyes flitting around anxiously. “I’m tired of this shit. Not knowing what the fuck I did wrong. You never give me a reason and, at first, I was fine with it. I liked the casual rivalry. But now I’m just…it’s been four years, and I still don’t know what I did.”

“Choi Yuna.” It comes out fast, the name of your ex-best friend. So fast that Younghoon doesn’t catch it, he just stares at you with a look of pure confusion.

“What?”

You say her name slower this time, tugging at the edge of your shirt. “Choi Yuna, you dated her from freshman year until late sophomore year.” 

“Okay, yeah,” he leans forward with his elbows on his knees. “What does she have to do with this?” 

Your cheeks are burning, and you know he can see it. See how flustered you are.

“She was my best friend.” You bite on your tongue, trying to find the right words. 

“I know,” he said, and you purse your lips. “She talked about you all the time.”

“That’s funny,” you scoff, a spark of anger returning to your tone and to your facial features. “Considering she’s the reason I hated you for so long.”

“What are you talking about, sweetheart?” Younghoon huffs, rubbing at his eyes with his palms. You can tell he’s frustrated, so you speak quicker.

“She— she knew that I liked you.” His eyes snap up, wide and bulging. “She knew that I wanted to ask you out in freshman year, so she made sure to get there first. I— at first I thought that you knew that’s why she did it.”

“You thought that I knew your best friend wanted—” Younghoon huffs and rises to his feet. 

“Just—” You hold up your hands as he begins to step toward you, slowly backing you into the wall. “Just let me talk. I thought you knew, yes. She told me that you asked her out first and that she just— she just agreed. So yeah, I started to hate you. I started arguing with you and every answer you gave in class because I was just so…angry at— at everything, at myself.”

Your back is against the wall now, and you’re slowly curling in on yourself as Younghoon gets closer. 

“And…?” he cocks an eyebrow and your swallow thickly.

“By the time I realized that it was all her….at that point it was just easier to keep hating you. To keep everything at bay.”

“Everything?” He echoes and had you been looking at his face instead of his chest, you would’ve seen the smirk you’d always claimed to hate plastered onto his face. 

“Yes,” you groan and lift your head. Your breathing hitches in your throat, your body pushing even closer to the wall when you finally see just how close Younghoon is to you. 

Just a few inches from your face is his own, his eyes dancing from your eyes to your lips. His breathing is, compared to yours, slow and even. Inhale, hold, exhale. You can see his chest rising and falling with the rhythm. 

“Why—” you clear your throat. “Why are you so close to me, Younghoon?”

“No legal name this time?” He murmurs, one of his hands coming up to rest on the wall beside your head. His head dips down and now his lips are brushing against yours, every breath you take mixing with his. “What happened?”

“I just— you’re a little close to me.” Your hand presses on his chest, but it's as if you aren’t even trying to push him away. “We— we probably shouldn’t.”

Younghoon kisses his teeth, shaking his head at your suggestion. Arguably, it’s a wise choice, but right now he has you exactly where he wants you. If he lets you leave now, who’s to say you won’t pack your bags and take a one-way flight to Brazil?

“I’ve been waiting,” he says and you squeeze the hand on his chest into a fist. “For three years for you to get your head out of your ass. I’m not letting you go now that I have you.”

“Have me?” Your tone shifts into one of challenge rather than the nervous air you’d surrounded yourself with. “If anything, I have you, Kim Younghoon.”

You yank him to you by his shirt, reaching up on your tip toes to place a firm kiss on his plush lips. You hear a groan rumbling in his throat, the hand not on the wall wrapping around your waist and squeezing tightly. Your lips mesh together, but it isn’t messy. It’s slow, calculated just like every move either of you had made against each other. Every argument, every challenge. The build-up. It all led to this, and you’re not letting him go this time. He’s yours and Choi Yuna can’t take him this time. 

With a new fervor, both of your hands come to lace into his thick strands of black hair, effectively trapping his lips against yours. He drops the hand that was on the wall, both hands now on your waist and sipping under the loose fabric of your shirt. You gasp at the cold feeling of his hands on your skin, and he takes that opportunity to sneak his tongue into your mouth. It’s experimental, the way his tongue caresses yours, pushing gently and letting you suck at the warm muscle. He listens to the pretty little whimper you let out when he does the same thing in return and a shiver runs down his spine. His hand slides up the back of your shirt, emerging from the collar and lacing into the strands of your hair. 

Air. You had to come up for air. You needed to breathe. Your lungs are aching, but fuck his lips are addicting. They’re soft, and warm, and they feel so good against yours. 

Your knees cave slightly, your mind going fuzzy and Younghoon rips away from you to steady your body, his knee shoved between your legs to help keep you upright. 

“Sweetheart,” his tone is lighthearted, but you know he’s scolding you. “You need to learn to breathe. I’m not leaving just because you need some air.” 

A pretty little whine escapes you, but Younghoon is quick to realize that it’s not because you can’t find the words to respond to him. Well, if you think about it, that kind of was the reason. 

Your hips are rolling down on his knee, your hands gripping his shoulder for dear life as you ride his thigh. Your head is rolled to the side, your eyes squeezed shut as you try to find the right pace and the right amount of pleasure to ease your arousal. Younghoon’s jaw drops, and he feels his dick twitch in his pants at the sight of you trying so desperately to relieve yourself on him. Unfortunately for you, he notes, your jeans seem to be in the way of you achieving your pleasure. 

“Sweetheart,” he coos but his voice is shaky and he thanks god that you’re too far gone to notice. “Look at you, trying so hard to get yourself off.” 

You whine, and his breathing hitches when you try to ride him even harder. 

“Is it not enough?” He presses and your eyes fly open with the quick nod of your head. But then you shake it, and his heart clenches at the confused furrow of your brow.

“‘S not!” You whine. “Need more, Hoonie.” 

He smiles when you reach one of your hands down, undoing the button of your jeans and trying desperately to shove them down as far as they can physically go without interrupting your ministrations. To your dismay, they barely get anywhere before Younghoon has to set you down and starts to tug them down your legs gently. 

You never thought you would enjoy watching a man get down on his knees for you, never thought you could have this much of a reaction to it. Younghoon though…the sight of him looking up at you through his lashes, the nearly pathetic look in his eyes when he sees just how soaked your panties are— it’s enough to have you practically crumbling to the ground, your lips crashing against his again and forcing him back to lay on the ground. 

His hands are everywhere— your hair, your hips, your ass, anywhere he can reach. He squeezes the soft flesh of your ass when your lips trail down his neck, sucking little marks into the skin and pulling groans and quiet whimpers from his throat. 

Your hands run under his shirt, and he weakly tries to help you push it over his head to be tossed somewhere else. You shush him, a playful look in your eye as you place a finger on his lips. 

“Gotta be quiet now,” you unbutton his jeans, slowly dragging them and his boxers down and he lifts his hips to help you slide them down to his knees. He doesn’t bother with your shirt but makes quick work of your bra and shoves it up. You’re sliding your panties down your legs when he shoves his hands under your shirt, squeezing and tugging at the soft mounds of flesh on your chest. A quiet moan at the feeling of him tugging at your nipples, and his hands falter momentarily when you wrap your hand around the base of his cock.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” he teases and you scoff while lining him up with your sopping wet pussy. You know he’s big, both of you do, but you’d never admit that to his face. Never admit that you’re nervous about taking it all in, nervous that you won’t be able to take him at all.

“As if your little dick could possibly hurt me—” your voice catches and he watches with strained amusement as you begin to sink down on him. Your walls are tight around him, practically squeezing the life out of his poor cock while you try so desperately to keep sliding down on him. Younghoon pulls his hands out of your shirt, sliding them down to your hips and gently rubbing them as a means to ease your discomfort.

“What were you saying about my little dick?” Younghoon sneers and you have to fight back the whine that threatens to slip out of you. He’s just over halfway in when you force yourself to give up, the stretch beginning to be too much for you to handle. “I could’ve prepped you, y’know? Made this easier for us both.”

You can only lower your head onto his shoulder, biting harshly into the skin while he flips you around and pushes your legs up toward your chest. 

“Hold these here, sweetheart.” You do as he says, gasping sharply when he begins to sink into you. 

“Fuck, Younghoon!” 

“Shhh,” he kisses you gently while continuing to press into you, using the width of his shoulders to gently spread your legs a bit further apart. “‘M almost there, I promise.”

“‘S too much,” you whimper, a tear slipping out of your eye and dripping onto the carpeted floor below you. “‘S too much, Hoonie.”

“I know sweetheart,” he coos and looks down at where the two of you are connected. He fights the sudden urge to cum when he sees the fluttering of your walls, sees them clenching around him, and trying to force him out. “I’m almost there.” 

Another whine from you and he quickly slides the last three inches into you, clapping a hand over your mouth to muffle the scream you release. He stays still for a moment, listening to the sound of you sniffling, and turns his head briefly to look at the door. A shadow passes by and he exhales quietly. 

“And you were worried about me being too loud. Who’s the one with a hand over her mouth, hm?” You can’t don’t respond and Younghoon pulls out entirely, leaving just the tip inside of you, and when you whine and let go of one of your legs to reach out for him, he sinks into you in one harsh thrust. 

The moan you let out behind Younghoon’s hand is guttural, and your back arches off the floor. His thrusts are rapid, yet he doesn’t falter in pattern. He sinks deep inside of you, punching into you so deep that you swear he’s going to hit your cervix. He lets his hand drop from your mouth listening to the way you try to hold back your noises. Every whine, every whimper and moan and cry, you try so hard for him. 

“Such a good girl,” he coos. “Keeping quiet and letting me fuck her real good.” His voice is so quiet, the words practically hissed into your ear and it’s so hot that your eyes roll into the back of your head. 

Your grip on your legs loosens and then your hands drop them entirely, letting them fall onto his sturdy shoulders. He watches as both of your hands disappear under your shirt and he feels a pang of irritation as you begin to play with your nipples. They draw sharper noises out of you, higher in pitch and slightly louder. Although, Younghoon can’t complain when the combined pleasure has your cunt fluttering around him and fresh waves of arousal washing through you to make it easier for him to fuck in and out of you.

“Hoon,” your whine is loud. Too loud. “So close, please!” 

Younghoon hushes you again, his hand running up the side of your leg and squeezing at the flesh of your thigh. 

“I know, sweetheart,” he tells you. “You gotta be quiet f’ me. Gotta be quiet so nobody walks in, okay?” 

“I can’t.” You sob out and Younghoon pushes himself closer to you, practically folding you in half so he can kiss you. You open up immediately, whining and letting him slide his tongue in for you to suck on.

Younghoon’s hips begin to stutter, his body shaking against yours, but you’re closer. Your body spasms, and you nip at his tongue to keep him close to you while you cum. Younghoon grunts at the combined feeling of your bites and the clenching of your walls around his length. It’s all a bit too much and it only takes a few more thrusts before he’s shuddering and collapsing against you, spilling ropes of white hot cum inside of you. 

He can feel the combination of his and your cum beginning to squeeze out of you around the tight fit of his dick inside of you, but he doesn’t have the strength to pull out of you just yet. You’ve stopped biting at him, your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth slowly sucking at the warm muscle he continues to provide you. 

Your body is sore, your thighs aching and likely bruised when you walk into your dorm a few hours later. You hadn’t gotten any work done after that, spending the rest of the time making out in a chair and grinding on each other like some damn horny teenagers. You know you’re a disaster, but you’re more than content with that knowing that Younghoon looks the same (if not worse). 

When the door clicks shut, it’s dark in the suite and you silently thank god that Dawon and Suyeon are asle—

“Where the fuck have you been?”

The lights flick on to reveal your two friends at the counter in the suite’s living area. Dawon looks furious, but Suyeon looks like she just wants to go to be. You grimace, dropping your bag off your shoulder and onto the ground next to you. 

“Out.” Your voice is hoarse and you grimace. You imagine your throat is a little bit bruised from…things.

“Doing what.” Dawon snaps.

“Or who, judging by the looks of you.” Suyeon clicks her tongue and rises from the couch. “Look at you! It looks like someone tried to eat you!” 

Dawon squints at you, and you turn your gaze to the floor. 

“You fucked him, didn’t you?” She inquires, but you both already know the answer. 

“Who?” Suyeon frowns. “Who did she fuck?”

Your nose wrinkles, and you turn to her with a look that says I think you know. Suyeon tilts her head, her eyebrows knitting together in thought. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” 

“Oh. OH— OH MY GOD—”

The Tau Beta Zeta frat house isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. At least not party-wise. The moment you and your friends walk in, you’re engulfed in noise, drunk partygoers, and scattered members of the frat. In one corner you can see what looks like two members of the frat making out with their girlfriends. Haknyeon and Changmin, Dawon said, Too bad they couldn’t find a private space. Damn exhibitionists. A smile quirks on your lips just slightly. Oh, if only she knew the truth.

You barely acknowledge her, however, scanning the room for Younghoon. 

“Eric!” You grab the passing boy by the arm and he jerks to a stop, nearly spilling the contents of two cups. 

“Yo!” He grins at you, and you can just faintly see the crinkle of his eyes under the red baseball cap of his. “What’s up?”

“Have you seen Younghoon?” Eric purses his lips in thought.

“You aren’t gonna kill him, right?” You laugh and so does he.

“No, not anymore. Or…I might if he doesn’t show up soon—”

“BOO!” Someone’s hands wrap around your waist lifting you off the ground and spinning you as you scream for him to put you down. Eric slips away, casting his eyes behind him to watch you and Younghoon as he approaches a girl in the corner. 

“Kim Younghoon!” You snap, swatting him upside the head. Your boyfriend smirks at you, bending down to try and give you a kiss that you block. “Don’t kiss me, you douche! That wasn’t funny!”

“It was kinda funny,” he laughs, swooping in to give a kiss that you choose not to block this time. It’s deep and slow, and he tilts his head to get a better taste of you when you bring your hand to the back of his neck. 

“Mmm, I think I like it when you don’t hate me.” He murmurs when he pulls back, grinning wickedly when you place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

“Do you now?” 

“Mhm.”

“Shouldn’t have scared me then.” You scowl, turning away from him and beginning to stalk away. He scrambles after you, frantically trying to keep up despite the crowd. 

“Where are you going?” He whines, grasping at your fingertips. You turn your head, a coy smile playing on your lips. 

“We gotta let loose, don’t we? We’re a little tense right now.” 

A puddle of drool is practically forming in Younghoon’s mouth and he’s suddenly in front of you, moving with a renewed fervor. 

When the door of the third bedroom on the right of the third floor shuts and clicks locked, nobody questions it. Not the thumping, nor the loud grunts and moans. 

When someone needs to let loose, people know better than to interrupt. Especially when it’s Younghoon and his former-crush-turned-enemy-turned-girlfriend.

© itsbeeble. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[signedeclipse]

May I please request fluffy and nsfw headcanons hantengu ( and his other forms) with chubby fem s/o? Please and thank you.

Hantengu [X Reader]

In which Hantengu and his clones enjoy their s/o to their fullest.

Hantengu may be horrified, even of literally standing, but he will go to great lengths to make sure other demons don't even so much as know you exist

Think of a hidden away home where you are safe from nosey demon slayers, something he can easily protect from other of his kind and his enemies

The thought of you hurt just kills him, and he climbed the ranks a lot just by having the mindset of living for you

When you're alone, Hantengu is a very possessive person due to his jealousy and envy

He wants you to feel good, he wants to see you depend on him, he knows he could easily overpower you and dangles that over your head, albeit slightly unknowingly

He'll wrap you in his own silky clothes, just to praise your gorgeous body; lots of light scratch marks from his claws

Kind of a sugar daddy energy but he's lovely

Sekido despises his clones and other people, so he is happy just sitting in a room with you alone

You give him peace, and he loves when you'll run your hands through his hair or wash it for him because it helps ease his near permanent headache

You're soft and warm, unlike most the cold stone like individuals he meets, so he likes to rest his head on your chest

Behind closed doors? You know how some guys smack their s/o's ass when they walk by? He lightly zaps yours just to see you jump

Jealous/hate fucking is real with this one, but 10x worse than Hantengu

He wants to see hickeys the darkest they can get, he wants to see you clinging to him that your nails are breaking into his skin, he wants to protect and fuck you into the bed until you can't move

Karaku just adores seeing you fawn over his body

I mean, he mostly shows it off for you, and he loves feeling your fragile hands trace him all over

He doesn't purr but he makes little hissing noises as a way of showing he's happy and really relaxed

While he may be quite the kinky one, nothing beats having you sat on his lap cockwarming him

Seeing you get all flustered and embarrassed when you try to ride him while he stares straight at you only makes him harder

He loves his strength, because he knows no one else could treat you this good, he'd never let them

No, no he won't move his hips, if you want him so bad surely you can fuck yourself onto his cock, come on!

If you frustrate him enough, he'll pin your thighs down and fuck you so hard you'll lose your sight for a couple of minutes

Aizetsu really enjoys being all tangled up with you; he wants to have your arms linked, hands held, so on

He gets really silent once he has you defending him from any of the clones usual harassments, and appreciates you for seeing the good in him

In bed, he's the kind to 'pity' you with his words

"You poor thing, it feels so good you're crying...my poor weak girl can't handle it, can she?"

He'll be physically gentle with you, not much marking or bites, but he will overwhelm you until your eyes are so full of tears because he just loves seeing it

Urogi is just so sleepy with you what can I say

He expels so much energy flying, fighting, using his attack and bickering with his clones that once he's alone with you he just wants you to sleep with him

His wings are very strong but when new feathers come in he likes when you take the time to prune him and break the new feathers shells for him

Might smack you with his wing lightly because he thinks you make a funny noise when you get a face full of feathers

When he gets into a sort of 'heat', he just loves fucking you roughly, hell he will do it out in a wild if he's really feeling it, he wants to get dirty

Just wrap his wings around you so you're nice and snug against him, unable to crawl away as he feels you spasm on his cock for the nth time 

he is very light so it's a lot easier for you to overpower him but he doesn't mind introducing restraints if he needs to

Authors Note - I love Hantengu so much and I have really wanted to get my thoughts out on the clones because a lot of the things I see about them just don't rub me how I would like! Thank you for requesting and please enjoy, Anon!

[acesw]

Knowing our Arcanists 12: Pavia

Welcome to entry twelve of my series: "Knowing our Arcanists"! This is a series in which I introduce and tell the stories of our fellow characters in Reverse: 1999. Today's character is the one and only: Pavia!

Disregard my previous post about Зима being the first one hit with the yaoi beam, he was the meat shield before him. I think I'd want to have his accessories even if they're horribly cheap. Lets get started.

Pavia is a mixed individual born on July 24th in Rome, Italy. When he was young, he was sent to Piedmont and lived there for many years before moving to Sicily. Pavia's arcane skill is a physical manifestation of his trauma with isolation, turning into a pack of wolves molded by darkness.

He's a mercenary that is currently active in the 90s, known for doing jobs left and right. He's an excellent mercenary, but tends to lack collaboration skill and is adamant in working independently.

As a child, Pavia was born from both arcanist and human parents. His mother, who came from Piedmont, moved to Rome to be with his father. At one point after Pavia was born, his mother had been sent to an asylum whilst his father went missing, leading him to be sent to Piedmont to be raised by his aunt.

Likely unbeknownst to him, his mother died back in Rome, and his aunt was overcome with grief. To her, Pavia looked a lot like her sister, and he was a troublesome child. Being taken over by such grief and hate, she confined Pavia in the basement for a long time as he grew up.

Confused and enraged, Pavia did all sorts of things to try to get out of the basement. Cry, fume, attempts to yield and apologize to his aunt, but the door never opened for him.

At first, he had access to the outside, being able to see passersby who crossed Piedmont to travel to different regions in Italy, even meeting a traveler who talked of film to him. But over time, natural light ceased to exist in his world, leaving him in the dark.

Out of that isolation came his friends, the wolves that gathered around him and allowed him to rest easy in the endless night. Like imaginary friends who never seemed to fade away since daylight never reached them. They became family to him, ones who would never leave him behind.

When he became older, he gained that strength to break out of that basement. What became of his aunt is unknown, but he became the infamous mercenary afterwards, traveling from Piedmont to Sicily. With quick and straightforward work, he gained his hard earnings, and

At one point, he worked with a man named James Burton, who published a book named Reminiscences, who described Pavia to be a "madman" and a "punishment." Many jobs later, he found himself hired by the Timekeeper in the Foundation, but didn't realize 'til way too late that he can't back out of it now.

Pavia can be described as a very aggressive and prideful individual. He uses threats to keep people distanced from him and to allow him to work on his own. This resulted in a lot of complaints about him, but he was never one to care.

When he does make friends however, his aggression can become affectionate; while he puts little trust in those around him, he'll always be open to talk of his gore-y and violent fantasies.

He's also an avid enjoyer of art and sweets, wearing cheap and handmade accessories, even wearing patterned shirts and sporting tattoos. He's often found eating gelato and tends to be very specific about its refrigeration.

The trauma coming from long-term isolation runs deep, often making Pavia uncomfortable when working with others. He shows great aversion to collaboration and affection from those around him unless its his close friends: the wolves that grew up with him.

All with names, they're who Pavia can put his full trust in to walk through the cold and dark nights across the world. He'll rarely ever sleep, instead taking the time to admire the dark skies and the guiding moonlight from above.

[mvltisstuff]

hi!! so i have this idea and i think you’d be perfect to execute it. if you wouldn’t mind-

could you do a possible buck one-shot where maybe the reader is there when buck gets struck by lightening? just full of angst and sadness and maybe the reader has to be held back by eddie or hen or something and it’s like the world stopped for reader and just some sad stuff.

thank you so so much!! <33

bad omens - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif from @tvuniverse

a/n: hey there ;)) i’m so happy you trusted me with your lovely idea, i hope you love it!

lightning never scared y/n. she always saw them as innocent storms, one in a million chances. a rumble of thunder was just a bowling ball, and lightning was just someone turning a light on in heaven. she was never fearful of seeing lightning brighten up the sky, until it threatened to take down her sun.

one in a million chance to be struck by lightning, and the love of her life was the one. she didn’t know who to hate. herself for letting buck go up there. mother nature for letting this happen. buck for his bravery and skill. she hated how the one in a million chance left her sweaty hand grasping bucks on the bed, seeing the tube lay in his throat and his chest mechanically rise. she hated how the day old, damp uniform she was clad in felt on her body. she hated the way bucks closed eyes might never open again to show off his blues. there wasn’t a part of it she didn’t hate.

she was so happy that day, everything had gone perfectly fine. she loved days like this, but the night quickly turned to the worst day of her life.

staring at bucks dangling body from the ladder. trying not to smell the burning mark that the strike left over the area. her feet moved faster than her mind, instantly running to buck as he hung lifelessly from a rope. it felt like a dream, a nightmare. as if there were a demon chasing her, and she couldn’t run away, she just had to face it. henrietta and chimney’s arms were locked on each of y/n’s, pulling her body weight back so she couldn’t run.

the raw screams of eddie yelling for his best friend echoed in the dim hospital room. the earth had halted on its axis, leaving y/n upside down in the middle of the world, holding the hand of hers.

he was rolled away so fast into the hospital doors, not even giving her a chance to land the last kiss on his head. not giving her a chance to say what could’ve been goodbye. the people around her became non-existent. she stood behind, watching from the sliding doors of the hospital.

“come on, buck, hang on buddy!” chimney says.

“do more!” eddie yells back to the nurses and paramedics.

y/n didn’t say a word. not a single sentence could describe the chains wrapped around her heart. nothing could break her free from the prison she was being held in. her team looked at her standing behind, just watching her hands fall to her sides. her lips were parted, with short breaths leaving her mouth. her face was beet red from the anger, confusion, and the pure horror.

she refused to leave as she watched over bucks body like a hawk. she refused to pay attention to maddies sobs as chimney tells her what happened to her baby brother. she wants to scream, she want to bawl her eyes out in agony, but she can’t.

“y/n,” hen says, stepping into the room first to try and snap y/n out of her mind. “i brought you clothes. you should change, you’ll get sick in that cold, wet stuff.”

“thank you,” she murmurs. “i’ll stay here.”

“y/n, sweetie-“

“don’t. i want to stay right here. i’m not going anywhere.” hen wanted to object, but she knew that no one was moving y/n until she was ready.

chimney and maddie came in next, maddies heart physically breaking at the look on y/n’s face as she sat next to buck and his unchanging position. chimney tried to coerce her into changing, or even eating.

“y/n/n, you should eat something, it’s not good to let yourself fall away. he’d want you to take care of yourself.”

“he’d want me here with him. im not that hungry anyway,” she tells him, not being sure if she’d be able to keep anything down.

it was eventually bobby who made his way in, noticing y/n’s hair collect frizz and her eyelids darken.

“im not going anywhere, cap.”

“im not asking you to go anywhere.” bobby speaks, a calming aura leaving his words. she only looks up for a moment, and looking back down to buck. “im going to pray, if you’d like to join me.”

bobby began saying his prayers, and y/n hoped to any god listening that they’d listen. she wasn’t ever the religious type, but faith was all she needed, and unfortunately all she was left with.

the hours ticked by, on and on, until the doctors decided buck was ready. that is, to live or die. they said that he would be dead if he didn’t take a breath on his own when he was no longer intubated. a part of y/n wanted to put it off. if that tube was removed and he didn’t do what he needed, she’ll have lost him forever from the electricity in the sky. he’d become one with the thing that killed him. at least now she could hold his hand and believe that maybe he’d come back.

as bucks mother and father watched over him, and maddie stood in the corner, fearful to watch his brother swing on the lines of death and life, y/n remained in the warm but uncomfortable chair she had been in for too long, barely ever being able to stand. no one had ever seen her so low, horrified that she wouldn’t make it out without buck.

“are you ready?” the doctor questions, asking the family if they want to possible take the life from buck in this moment.

his parents nod, looking over to maddie as her brows scrunch together, but also complying. all four of them look over to y/n, seeing her eyes locked on bucks shut ones. “not really, but go ahead.”

the tube was taken out painfully slow, the room so quiet that the beeping of his heart monitor felt like fireworks. the air was thick and eerie, almost ready to accept buck into the darkness.

what y/n would never know, is that buck watched from the other room. he saw her falling apart, and ignored his other form. if he gave up, he’d be giving up on her. she’s been there for him through everything, and he has never once seen her look so alone, even surrounded by all these supportive people. he didn’t even want to her his alter speak any more, as he grabbed his sledgehammer and shattered the glass separating him from the rest of his life.

his chest rose quickly and tall, the sharp air entering his nose as y/n could only graze the skin on his hand. each breath from buck came one by one after, a perfect rhythm that she could find herself falling asleep to as she lays on his chest.

each breath he took left a crack in her heart, another water droplet in her eye ready to fall.

“i have high hopes for him, everyone.” the doctor smiles, looking at y/n as they all look between her and buck.

she cries. she cries more than she ever has before, soaking the blanket besides buck more than the rain on the day he was almost taken. her chest heaves, her breathing worse than the ill man in front of her. the wet streams fall down her cheeks and pool on her neck, sniffling in to keep her completely from falling apart.

buck spends the next strenuous hours waking up from his coma, knowing what waits for him when he rouses. she still remains, wanting to be there for him when he regains consciousness. she wants her hand to be on his, and his eyes to meet hers. his soft lids and long lashes flutter, revealing his tired, bright blue eyes to the world that has tried to hard to ruin it. he’s met with the universe in front of him, the small curl on y/n’s lips and the beauty she carries around with her.

“nice of you to join us,” she smiles, her voice cracking from exhaustion. he looks less tired, almost transferring energy to her. “i missed you.” understatement.

“i knew you’d be waiting for me. never had doubts about that.”

“if you ever try to leave me again, i’ll kill you myself.”

“i am never leaving someone like you.” the couple just smiles back at the other, his hand cupping the side of her cheek. “come kiss me.”

she obliges, standing up from her chair and letting him pull her closer. her lips press against his, letting themselves fall into the foreign grasp of the other. he lets his hands wander over her body, running them all over the places he loves more than anything. he finally brings himself to pull away and look at her face, the need for cleanliness and sleep written all over it.

“now, go take care of yourself, please. i’m not going anywhere.”

[happilychee]

thinking about aromantic lucy

I saw a terf saying aspec people aren't actually queer so fuck them here's aromantic lucy heartfilia

cw: a few mentions of internalized arophobia

lucy who doesn't know that the word love exists until she reads it in one of the few fairytale books in her father's extensive library. lucy who doesn't quite get the kissing and the physicality and the fiery proclamations, but thinks that it's an okay price to pay for someone to be so passionate for her. to choose her and care about her, like her mother did before she passed.

lucy, who's eight years old and crying after another argument with her father, who summons aquarius and asks "do you love me?" aquarius feels her blood pressure rise, but seeing the broken look in her wielder's watery eyes, she decides to drop the snark. "I do, kid." "does that mean you wanna kiss me?" aquarius almost smacks lucy over the head.

lucy who doesn't quite understand the difference between how she cares for her spirits and how she felt about her mom. lucy who cares deeply for everyone who's important to her, who thinks that aquarius could just as easily be her knight in shining armor as the storybook prince. lucy who reads romance books because she wants someone like that in her life. lucy who's never had any friends besides aquarius. lucy who thinks it must be nice to have someone choose you, care about you, protect you. lucy decides that that's what love is.

lucy who's old enough to know she doesn't like her father. lucy who's so confused when she hates him but still cares about him. lucy who's old enough to run away from home but too young, too young.

lucy who joins fairy tail and has no idea what to expect. lucy who's startled by her new friends' openness and easy acceptance of her. lucy who blushes when natsu throws an arm around her, who feels warm and fuzzy when gray guides her by the small of her back, who has a lopsided grin on her face when erza links arms with her as they walk. lucy who suddenly thinks that she's in love with three people at once and panics (her storybooks never mentioned that!!).

lucy who turns to who she can confidently call her best friend, levy mcgarden, for help. levy sits her down with a cup of hot chocolate and cookies. they talk for hours about sexuality and attraction; lucy sleeps over that night. the word that sticks out the most in her mind is aromantic.

lucy who gets drunk at a party and gets a little too close to cana, and suddenly they're in cana's apartment, making out like there's no tomorrow. lucy who feels guilt creep up in the morning because she knows cana and gray and loke have something going, and she might've just ruined it. lucy who tears up when cana laughs because she's so, so confused. cana's expression morphs into concern and she wipes away her friend's tears, warm skin on skin. cana who tells lucy that what she does with gray and what she does with loke doesn't restrict her from what she does with other people. "we talked about it, I promise." cana reassures her. then, leaning in with a sexy smirk on her face, she whispers, "besides, they're probably jealous I took you home first~" the rush of heat is enough to make lucy's mind go blank with joy.

lucy who shyly asks cana about her relationships and learns so much she feels like her head is going to explode. lucy who has a crisis about her storybooks and her ideal romances. she's never going to have that, she realizes. it feels like someone's scooped out her chest.

lucy whose feelings ebb and flow like the tide. she's not used to this. being so... different. her storybooks are scattered across the floor, thrown in an angry fit. her door is locked, but her window isn't, and that's how natsu gets in. "you okay, luce? we haven’t seen you in a while."

the dam breaks. lucy sobs in natsu's arms, and all she can think is that this is the exact type of hurt/comfort scene she loves in her stories. she wishes she were normal, so she could love normally, so she could love natsu the normal way and be done with it. she doesn't realize she's talking out loud.

natsu cups her face, onyx eyes boring into chocolate ones. he squishes her cheeks together, the way he does when he thinks she's overthinking something. and then, natsu breaks through her entire crisis with three little words.

"does it matter?" he furrows his brow. "you're lucy, and I'm natsu, and I care about you." "but- I don't feel romantic attraction-" natsu huffs, frustrated that lucy's not getting something that's apparently obvious to him. "luce. I care about you, and I trust you, and I want to take care of you and protect you. who cares about anything else?" lucy blinks once, twice, and then she's sobbing again. natsu panics, because he knows he can be blunt and dismissive sometimes, but lucy barrels into him, clutching onto his scarf tightly.

"you care about me?" she whispers in a child's voice. that's more important to her than anything. romantic, platonic, the gray area in between, none of it matters as long as natsu cares.

natsu tightens his grip, wondering who he has to pummel for making his girl feel that way. "course I care about you, dummy. I'd burn down the world for you. and so would erza and gray and cana and everyone else."

lucy who has a really hard time moping when natsu's there every step of the way, trying to cheer her up. erza and gray show up, too, and it's hard to stay sad when she's being tickled by erza while gray cooks dinner and kicks natsu out of her kitchenette.

lucy who feels the hollow fill with something warm and gooey when erza gives her a hug, confessing that she often has trouble figuring out how she feels about anything. lucy laughs when erza tells her about the shenanigans that have happened when she doesn't pick up on someone flirting with her but gray and natsu do. she feels all fuzzy when gray leans against her, telling her that he feels the same way. his hand plays with hers, and she thinks it's nice how well they slot together.

lucy realizes when natsu falls asleep in her lap, arms wrapped protectively around her waist. lucy realizes when gray falls asleep at her side, erza tucked to his chest. lucy realizes that her friends make her feel like she's on top of the world, and she doesn't need a fairytale prince when she's got fairy tail.

[kcdrawns]

Random Wb boys headcanons♪⁠ヽ⁠(⁠･⁠ˇ⁠∀⁠ˇ⁠･⁠ゞ⁠)

A/N: its 2:40 AM I am so so tired but i can't sleep so have this. This might contain English errors.

Edit: it is now 3:52 AM as I finish editing..

Characters: Kaji, Kiryu, Kusumi, Hiragi

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖

Kaji

- is the type to just banter playfully but no one really knows when he is cursing as a joke or playfully

- His classmates often add songs to his Spotify playlist and during recess they play music in speakers so kajo can take the headphones out and feel ok with noise

- The type to get jail every time while playing monopoly and to be in debt (Kusumi always wins and at this point Kaji thinks he is cursed and that Kusu cheats, so he refuses to play

-Same for Uno, he will get mad and swear to never play after everyone adds 15 on 15 on 15 on 15 until it reaches kaji and he doesn't have a card. (Will cuss and cross arms)

-will almost dance at home when alone especially when he is alone and needs to prepare dinner and lunch for tomorrow's school bento.

-Will yell that he hates physical touch but kusumi swears he almost cries every time they give a hug to their captain

-Social cues? None existent

-Tsubaki will often steal Kaji in recess to force him to record tiktoks with her and he hates it, she claims he is.pretty and it gets her views and he honestly couldn't care less but gets shy. He can dance but refuses to put effort out and affirms he dances like a brick.

- Got called a duckling because he was normally always seen near Hiragi and following him

Kiryu

- The assigned photographer of his class, he gets somehow the best and also the most cursed things ever and will use them for black mail as a joke (Sakura is mostly the victim)

- If anyone gets hurt in class he is always there with cute bandaids (Star ones, Sanrio ones, really if its a cute set he has it) and some disinfectant

- Would a 100 do the opposite of what his family tells and go out of his way to piss them off.

- His older sister has a lot of social anxiety due to their traditional family so he has at least once a week a girls night with her so she can try to relax and open up to him

-Will a 100 spoil friends since he has the financial stability and definitely is the one to buy good hair products to keep the hair soft and often gives it as presents for friends so their hair doesn't feel like straw due to dyeing it all the time

- Has a TON of double plushies from arcades by accident and gives them as present to classmates and when he sees someone who could use a plushie like some random girl or child that is sad like "Oh you don't seem to be doing well sweetie, you can have this"

Kusumi

-Will stop walking to take pictures of things he finds aesthetic and then send to a group chat (kaji and Enomoto)

-walks his dog at night and sometimes Kaji joins too when he is having trouble at home

-If anyone in class is feeling down Kusumi will definitely try to ask and offer help and support but never make anyone feel forced to share but since he is so kind and easy going most of the time people spill the beans

- Since in manga he said he saw kaji a lot around their hood school and is glad to be friends with him I believe he somehow looks up to Kaji and he might be the reason he started to participate in brawls and finding out he is good at kicking ass

- Has the perfect grades without trying and will often be at Enomoto's house with Kaji trying to teach them and explain. Kaji falls asleep and Enomoto folds a paper and very softly hits the top of kajis head

-He tries to keep 0 sugar lollipops on him so if kaji runs out he has spares and can help

- Definition if very respectful very demure, will give shoulder pats on anyone that is feeling stressed that he knows, which scared Kaji a lot in the beginning with a lot of cussing

- If he has a voice i think he doesnt like his voice so he doesnt speak but one day he is at home with Kaji and Enomoto and by accident hits the foot of the corner of a furniture and will yell "SHIT".. thr silence after and the shock face from Kajis face while Enomoto's just laughs while kusumi blushes out of shyness and types fast as hell apologizing

- In the opposite way now if he is mute from vocal cords damage or just never was able to talk I think Kaji in the first year would question and try his best to protect Kusumi because people can be cruel to things they don't understand. I believe if kusumi had bullies pre school he wouldn't give them attention and ignored but at furin high I believe anyone in class would beat anyone's ass for each other

Hiragi

-He sometimes as insomnias because of his stomach issues (definitely no projecting myself rn ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ)

- I mean he is the definition of Father at Furin High. Have an issue and want to talk to someone responsible and that wont make a fuss or cause havoc? he is the man.

- Very wise but still makes bad decisions for his health

- Definitely the one to post mirror photos with a rock band music on top

- Used to drag Kaji and Sako to concerts, since kaji likes rowdy places and music, but sako? Sako would go and suffer of "why was I dragged here.."

- Is the gentleman at the moshpits making sure no one hurts anyone and no one specially is an idiot to a girl

- Likes to go to the aquarium from time to time to watch Sharks and listen to music while doing so

- I believe he values his own free time and likes to spend it alone to relax but somehow always ends up overthinking if something bad is happening and what if someone isn't doing well and somehow ends up with stomach pain while texting everyone if they are ok or somehow ends up with kaji at his house and they hang out in silence listening to music

- Kaji stays so much time at his house that Hiragis mum considers him as a second child and assumes he is going to eat dinner there and sleep and if kaji says no she refuses to let him leave the house without eating something first

- Sleeps on one side due to his stomach issues since laying on the side helps to reduce gastric acid to come up to mouth (Y e p thats a thing..)

- He often cooks for his mum because she is always at work and he helps his best around the house and chores and since she arrives late at night he waits so they can eat dinner together and socialize a bit, besides his mum believes he is a better cook than her

-Hates phone calls because most of the times phone calls equal chaos and something bad so anytime he has a call from anyone you bet he is getting gas-kun out of his pocket at the same time

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖

[phoxey]

Decide.

This is part 2, for part 1 click here

Lusher x Bebe!reader

CW: still angst, alcohol, breakdown, mental health issues

AN: I promise this has a good ending. trust me.

Her eyes filled with tears.

She didn’t answer and you watched tears rolling down her face before you sighed.

“I see.”, you whispered but Seoyoung looked at you as though you had slapped her.

Without another word you left the room, the building and Seoyoung.

With every step you took, your heart broke into more and more pieces. It physically hurt you, but you kept walking. A part of you wished that Seoyoung would run after you and try to get you back, but you knew she wouldn’t, she had made her decision. And you had made yours.

You wandered restlessly through the night for what seemed like twenty minutes but were actually hours. At some point you sat down on the side of the road, no care to be seen. Slowly you got out your phone.

23 missed calls. 8 by Bada, 5 by Tatter, 4 by Minah, 3 by Cheche, 2 by Kyma, 1 by Soweon.

Seoyoung didn’t call you once.

Your messages were going crazy as well.

Bada:

What happened? Seoyoung is crying! Come back! She told me what happened. Come back please. We can figure this out. Pick up your phone! Please

Taeyoung:

Pick up pick up pick up Please Please Where are you? We are worried! Come back, we can talk about it! I promise, everything will be alright!

You huffed. As if. Nothing would be alright. Seoyoung and you would have no future together, not if she was ashamed of being your girlfriend. You know it was fanservice and it didn’t mean anything, but you couldn’t stand seeing her flirt with the same people who cursed you out.

You stood up and wandered around some more. The streets were almost empty. The sky was clear, and you could see many stars. Seoyoung would be talking about the star constellations now if she were with you. Or show you a star and tell you that it was your star. She was cheesy like that. But you couldn’t help but notice how the stars didn’t shine as bright this night and the moon seemed smaller than usual. It seemed like the night sky was sad. Reflecting your own feelings.

Before a tear could roll down your cheek, your phone interrupted you. It was Seoyoung’s mom.

“Hello?”, you asked timidly as you picked up.

“Thank God! What is happening? Seoyoungi sent us a cryptic message, but we can’t reach her!”

“I…I think we broke up.”, you said, your voice cracking.

“What why?”

“Long story… What was the message?”, you asked worriedly.

“Look, I really don’t know what happened between you two, but she wrote that her life doesn’t make any sense anymore, and that she wished she wouldn’t exist. That you would be happier without her.”

“What?!”, you practically screeched.

“Do you know where she could be? I am scared, she will hurt herself.”, Seoyoung’s mom sobbed.

“I think I know. I will talk to her. Don’t worry.”, you said hastily and ended the call.

You practically sprinted to the apartment that you and Seoyoung shared.

When you came in all the lights were off, but you could hear sobbing from the living room. Carefully you turned on one of the dimmer lights. Seoyoung sat in front of the couch, slumped over, her entire body trembling with sobs. Tears shot into your eyes. Then you noticed the many empty soju bottles around her.

“Oh God…”, you whispered and were immediately next to her, a hand on her back.

She looked up confused. Her face was swollen and her eyes wet and red. Her pupils were large and unfocused. You couldn’t resist and leaned in to kiss her forehead, as you always did when she was crying.

A sharp pain shot through your face when she slapped you before your lips could reach her forehead.

“I have a girlfriend!”, she said angrily.

“W-What?”, you stuttered confused and held your cheek.

“Oh right… not anymore… she hates me.”, she slurred.

Only then you realized that Seoyoung was probably too drunk to even recognize you.

“She doesn’t hate you.”, you said gently, wanting to calm her.

She shook her head. “She does. I hurt her.”

“Seoyoung… nae nabi…”, you sighed.

“That’s what she always called me.”, Seoyoung sobbed. “And I’m so stupid and hurt her. I didn’t want to… I swear… I only wanted to protect her…”

“Protect from what?”, you asked confused.

“M-My girlfriend… she had suffered too much already…”, she hiccupped. “She wants to go public, but I’m scared that… it will hurt her only more…”

“What do you mean?”

“Her parents said cruel things because she loved me… If the public found out… she would live through that again. I don’t want her to be subject to that again… I love her so much…”

Tears started rolling down her cheeks. “I’m sure she would live through all of that again happily if that meant she could kiss and hug you for the world to see.”, you whispered.

“Do you think?”, Seoyoung asked. Her hands started to frantically search for something. “I… I should call her… Apologize… maybe I should post on Instagram… about us.”

You took her hands gently. “Talk to her tomorrow, she is probably asleep right now. And you should too.”

“Yeah… I don’t want to wake her. She is so pretty when she sleeps, y’know? She will tell you no, but I like to wake up next to her and she is still sleeping… So peaceful…”

“You can tell her tomorrow, okay? She would want you to sleep now.”, you said and pulled her up.

Seoyoung wasn’t able to keep standing, but before she could fall you had already scooped her up into your arms. Gently you carried her to your shared bedroom and put her on her side of the bed, but she immediately rolled over to your side.

“This side smells like her… I miss her…”, she mumbled into your pillow.

You couldn’t help but smile fondly. You tucked her in, wrapping your blanket around her. Then you laid down next to her, watching as she drifted off to sleep. You thought, she was right. A gay relationship would hurt Bebe in the competition. You would tell her that it’s fine to come out after SWF was over. That you would delete your social media until then.

You quickly sent Seoyoung’s mother a text, that her daughter is safe and fine, before you covered yourself in Seoyoung’s blanket and falling asleep as well.

You woke up to a hand on your cheek and half opened eyes gazing at you.

“I must be dreaming still.”, she whispered.

You turned your head to kiss her wrist. Then you smiled softly at her.

“You’re not. I’m here.”

“Listen, I-…”, you broke her off with a finger on her lips.

“It’s okay.”

“But-…”

You shook your head. “No. Don’t.”

She closed her mouth then and proceeded to caress your cheek, lost in thought.

“Penny for your thoughts?”, you asked.

“You know… I’d always choose you.”

[crunchystarz]

"A Distant Memory I Used to Know"

Chapter - 2 EyelessJack x GNreader

Previous - chapter index

CW- none

Summary: After you drop your brother off at school you run into that same masked man from a few days ago.

Word count: 2429

“We've been looking more into the recent rise in the numbers of murders taking place in our ci-"

With a click the TV powered off. You needed to not listen to the news, for your own sake you told yourself. Placing the remote back on the counter you let out a sigh.

You don't need anything else to feed your paranoia. You haven't been able to sleep much after the convenience store incident. You felt like you were going insane. It was just some random guy, so why was it driving you crazy?

You hated that one small thing that messed with your head so much.

It's just one guy. One weird masked guy. You felt as if you saw that mask before. Like you know it from somewhere.

Who are you kidding? You needed to call your therapist and see if any spots opened up sooner than your initial date.

"What do you think would happen if a fox were to drink an entire can of soda?" A chirpy voice said from behind you.

Hunter rested his head in his hands. You chuckled and ruffled through his scruffy black hair still slightly damp from his shower. He swatted you away while laughing.

“Foxes don't have opposable thumbs. How would they drink from a can? " You playfully questioned swiftly turning around and flipping the pancake to cook it on the other side.

“Well I never said it had to come from a can just it was the amount that was in a can! Plus it could have knocked it over” The boy playfully bantered back.

You let out a fake hurt gasp before putting your hand on your hip giving him a glare. “Getting sassy with me now Mr, Bold maybe I shouldn't add chocolate chips to your pancakes”

“Nooo” Hunter said, flopping his upper body on the counter, head down.

“That's what I thought” You chuckled gently hitting him on the head with your spatula.

Hunter was one of the only good things in your life that came from your past. You were adopted into a middle class white family when you were 4. Your parents weren't really in your life much however. Growing up you were convinced they only had adopted you for tax benefits.

They weren't physically abusive however they played a massive part in your poor mental health growing up. They didn't go to things like school graduations or after school club things. They never got you anything for Christmas only every other birthday you'd get a happy birthday card as a rushed gift.

They never knew how to take care of things like your hair which you learned all by yourself through lots of trial and era and almost killing it tons of times.

Things like this led to your already poor social skills dropping so low they were basically non-existent. You hated talking to most people and your friends never lasted long.

Except for one boy. You don't remember much about him because a lot of your life is a blur but he was nice and stuck with you throughout highschool as you recall.

Hunter was their golden child. Their first blood child. He was spoiled for the first two years of his life until your mom passed due to unfortunate circumstances.

Your mom was always the more responsible one. She worked a ton and did a lot of the financial work. She tried more with you yet wasn’t super active in your life.

Unlike your father who was always a complete snob. He was a college dropout who stayed home. Sometimes you'd even wonder how any one can put up with that man

Your dad got a new girlfriend pretty fast after your mother's death. Things got worse and your father payed no attention to Hunter after that.

You adored your brother however, he was a good kid with a kind heart. So you were more than happy to basically be the one to raise him for a little bit until you went off to college.

You and Hunter had a 15 year age gap but you two were still extremely close. Your brother got you and helped you stay grounded.

With you having your own place and all you could take care of Hunter more often. Unfortunately for legal reasons you couldn't keep the kid all the time and you've sometimes debated on trying to get full custody over him but you knew it probably wouldn't end well.

Despite only being 12 Hunter was extremely smart. He for the most part understood your weird traumatized brain and was a big help when it came to calming you down other than the pills. He really was your only family.

"Who do you think would win million Pikachus or Godzilla?" The raven hair asked, reaching for the syrup bottle that was on the farther end of the counter. You put the plate of hot pancakes on the surface before pushing the maple syrup closer to the boy.

"How about we stop talking and eat ,hurry before you're late for school" You chuckled to yourself. Hunter pouted but started to dig in anyway.

You went to clean up your batter mess you made in the kitchen. You'd need to change before you left the apartment because your shirt was now covered in dried up pancake mix. You usually didn't make big breakfasts like these but you'd do anything for your brother.

You went off to get changed while Hunter finished up breakfast. It was getting significantly colder so you made sure to put it on your mental list to get Hunter a new winter jacket.He was tall for his age.He had a huge growth spurt a few months ago yet his voice was still as squeaky as can be. His new height difference meant he needed new clothes and you wanted to make sure he stays warm during the upcoming winter.

You two left your apartment after two checks to make sure he had everything. Hunter went on ahead before you, skipping down the steps that led to your apartment which was on the second floor.

You locked up your door, again making sure to lock both the bottom and the top. A familiar meow from a few days rang through your ears. You looked down to see the kitten from before under your legs. It meow and rubbed your leg. Your heart basically melted.

"Hey buddy nice to see you again...I hope you're keeping warm- I can't stay long though" You said to the cat who obviously didn't understand what you were saying just appreciated the chin scratches it received from you.

You realized you should head off before Hunter got inpatient and threatened to eat your entire kitchen again. You gave the chestnut colored cat one last pat before hurrying to catch up with your younger brother.

Hunter's school is luckily in a good distance for you to walk from and back to. This helps save gas whenever he was over on days he had school. You smiled as the younger boy walked on the sidewalk occasionally kicking a fallen leaf.

When you two got to middle school you made sure to do your little "don't get into any trouble" speech before shooing the boy. He gave you a hug before sprinting off when he saw one of his friends. You smiled to yourself as you went to walk in the direction you had came from.

You hummed a random tune as you slowly strolled along the concrete. You weren't in a rush to go anywhere so you could take in the calm scenery. It wasn't an extremely pretty sight as you were just walking through your neighborhood but it was an early morning in the beginning of fall. You were allowed to appreciate the small things.

Your body tensed up but you never stopped walking. There it was again. You couldn't catch a break could you? The feeling of eyes on you was back. It made your skin itch. It made you want to sprint home and get under your covers where you felt safe.

You're just being paranoid again [ name] just like you always are there is no one watc-

Your brain circuited as you felt something hard bump into you. Well more so you bumped into it. A person. Once you collected yourself from your mini shock. God you were all over the place, You fully realized you bumped into a person. A person. A human being.

"Holy shit I am so sorry I wasn't paying attention I-" You blurted out an jumbled up apology. Embarrassed, you cleared your throat. Just like the first time your heart skipped a beat. It felt...sickly. A discomforting feeling of familiarity washed over you.

You were met with silence from the same hooded man from the other day. The same masked weirdo that was like a plague to your mind. That mask. Against you felt as if you've seen it before. The thought made your stomach twist. You soon realized how tall the brunette was exactly. You had to basically step back to look at him properly. He was so tall it almost felt... unnatural.

You got a better look at the man from last time. He was lanky and scruffy looking. You couldn't make out any facial features as he wore a mask. A blue mask covered in some unknown goop. It looked more dried out than the last time you saw it. Maybe it was paint. He wore the basic black hoodie like before and tattered jeans. His shoes were beat up and definitely have seen better days.

The way he looked at you made you cold. You swallowed and subconsciously made yourself look bigger. That damn mask. It would make any normal person uncomfortable but man it felt as if the empty sockets of the eyes were just staring into you.

You were snapped out of your trance when you heard him clear his throat. "No its fine I wasn't paying attention as much as you were..." That british accent called out.

The second time you heard him speak. His voice didn't match his creepy appearance. While it was extremely monotone it was strangely calming. You wanted to say something so bad.

You didn't know why just something made you want to. Maybe you thought talking to him would make him leave your brain completely and you'd give your mind some closer that we was just some weirdo walking around. Just as he started to continue his way down the street.

"Hey um uh-"

You didn't know what to say. He stopped. That's good. You hoped anyway. He turned on his heel and faced you again. He tilted his head in an almost animalistic way. As if he was showing you he was listening, waiting for you to continue. While he stared at you, that weird feeling of being watched came back. You swallowed a lump of air.

"Do you live around here?... I haven't seen you around here is what I meant-" You stopped yourself from talking you sounded like a mess. You felt embarrassed. You honestly didn't know what to say. You started rethinking why you even stopped him. You really had no reason other than you couldn't get this stranger out of your head. You felt absolutely insane.

He's literally just some weirdo that you so happened to run into twice. A weirdo that you for some unknown reason feel like you know. A stranger. A stranger in a mask. Calm yourself.

"Do you…remember me too?”

Your thoughts halted when he spoke up again. You didn't get to catch what he said because you were so wrapped up in your own head. You felt bad and gave him a weak smile.

" I'm sorry, what was that?"

…

" It was nothing I just had said you're that same person from the other day is all. It's funny running into you again especially because I don't necessarily live around here" He supposedly repeated with a shrug. You let out a sigh of relief and chuckled a little to yourself. You really are getting yourself worked up over nothing.

He is just some weirdo.

"sorry for um you know stopping you out of nowhere i just don't know i couldn't get you out of my head- wait no that sound creepy it's just you have a strange.... appearance? I'm just making this worse for myself aren't I" You awkwardly laughed. To your surprise the masked man let out a laugh. This calmed your nerves a little bit.

"I get it not everyday you see someone who looks like...well me I guess. Just walking around in broad daylight like some kind of freak " He replied in his monotone voice. You two just stared at each in silence for a bit. He cleared his throat before nodding his head.

"I should go...stay safe out here with all these murders and all"

"y-yeah um you too"

The brunette walked away with a quick wave goodbye. Maybe he was some psychopath your brain tricked you into thinking you knew after all.

You ran your tongue across your bottom row of teeth before taking a deep breath. You needed a nap, or an entire tub of ice cream. Both. Both would be needed.

You turned on your heels before making your way home. You listened to your footsteps as you walked up your apartment stairs.

You were stopped yet again but a now familiar fur ball. The tiny cat watched you as you unlocked the door to your home. You thought it was going to run off again but instead it let it into the building. You blinked as it turned to you and let out a meow.

"This is not your house, all though I might have to just name you if you keep showing up like this" You basically scolded the kitten.

It meowed at you again as if it was talking back to you. You put your hands on your hip and stared down at the creature. "You're adorable but you need out" You said as if it understood you, you pointed to the open door.

It just meowed again and walked farther into your home. You let out a sigh. You were to mentally and physically exhausted to chase a kitten out of your home. You shut your front door and promised yourself you'd deal with the kitten who was now rubbing itself all over your couch later.

—

"What happened to you?"

....

"stay back"

"please..."

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/10/2024

someone adopt this little orange man from me in Houston TX! more details here!

listening

the 1991 Ella Mae Morse compilation Capitol Collectors Series is the official driving-cats-to-the-vet album bc it is so mellow but still fun. this album has previously been featured several times in tuesdayposts but i think you should all listen to it again.

seven thousand three hundred days IS a long long time to sleep ur so right ella

-

reading

two different works that annoyed me: Emily Hamilton's The Stars Too Fondly. my first clue should have been that this is my least favorite poem, bc ppl would quote it to me smugly after my mom died. im sure they thought they were being so super comforting to a budding astronomer, but, much like how i can no longer eat lasagna bc ppl gave us Twenty! Party! Size! Platters! Of! Lasagna! after my mom died (they would just Appear on our front porch, frozen), too much of this poem really soured me.

i had this book on hold Forever and then delayed delivery twice bc i have not felt like reading lately. here's the publisher's description:

In her breathtaking debut—part space odyssey, part sapphic rom-com—Emily Hamilton weaves a suspenseful, charming, and irresistibly joyous tale of fierce friendship, improbable love, and wonder as vast as the universe itself. So, here’s the thing: Cleo and her friends really, truly didn’t mean to steal this spaceship. They just wanted to know why, twenty years ago, the entire Providence crew vanished without a trace. But then the stupid dark matter engine started all on its own, and now these four twenty-somethings are en route to Proxima Centauri, unable to turn around, and being harangued by a snarky hologram that has the face and attitude of the ship’s missing captain, Billie. Cleo has dreamt of being an astronaut all her life, and Earth is kind of a lost cause at this point, so this should be one of those blessings in disguise that people talk about. But as the ship gets deeper into space, the laws of physics start twisting, old mysteries come crawling back to life, and Cleo’s initially combative relationship with Billie turns into something deeper and more desperate than either woman was prepared for. Lying somewhere in the subspace between science fantasy and sapphic rom-com, The Stars Too Fondly is a soaring near-future adventure about dark matter and alternate dimensions, leaving home and finding family, and the galaxy-saving power of letting yourself love and be loved.

should be catnip for me, right? wrong. starts out as a chat fic, which i hate.

i had a lot of trouble finishing the first chapter, which also has an extended third-person omniscient narrator flashback in italics, a thing i also hate. i KNOW you can figure out how to integrate this information into the book in a better way instead of dumping it in my lap.

i think part of why this is not hitting like i wanted is the tone, because i think this veers more new adult than i was really hoping for. i think introducing a big group all at once is very hard to do effectively. i do not like a series of character introductions that feel like they are trying to sell me action figures. or perhaps blind-bag figures. i do not like a six-deep list of cheesy puns about someone's name. i do not have the patience to see if this debut novel finds its footing a little later on, though i am glad a sapphic ghost in the machine romance exists in this world.

i also read dean motter's mister x (both the original late eighties through early nineties run and the 2008 follow-on).

let's yoink the description from wikipedia:

Set in Radiant City, a dystopian municipality influenced by Bauhaus and Fritz Lang's Metropolis, the series concerns a mysterious figure who purports to be its architect. His radical theories of "psychetecture" cause the citizenry to go mad, just as he did, and he takes on the mission to repair his creation. To accomplish this he remains awake twenty-four hours a day by means of the drug "insomnalin", all the while coping with a Dick Tracy–like rogues gallery and supporting cast including his long-suffering ex-girlfriend Mercedes. (ed note: the redhead in the santa beard below)

the art in this comic book is really and truly stunning. everyone was firing on all cylinders. beautiful retrofuturistic advertisement vibes, very fun play with panels and word balloons while still being readable, there are airships, you know how it is. looooooooove a hardboiled noir.

the Concept of mister x, this horrible awful futuristic city that grinds its citizenry up and spits them out? both figuratively and sometimes literally? love it!!! love a great wounded beast of a city as a character!!!

unforch the "who is mister x" subplot does not resolve in a satisfying way, imo. there's a lot of flip-flopping, there's a lot of options, he ends up being (maybe?) someone he was very definitively proven NOT to be in an earlier issue, and it really soured me on the whole experience. and also i don't believe it! that specific person makes no fucking sense! who mister x is, is by far the least interesting part of the series. tell me more about how he's fixing the city. show me more of the city. shut up and dance, robot artists

-

watching

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016, dir. Singer). this movie did not need to be two and a half hours long. appreciated the EXTREMELY divorced energy from charles & erik though, quicksilver rescuing the school scene was also very fun. my bestie's husband has informed me we are NOT watching Dark Phoenix, i'm not sure if we're going to loop back and watch the ??? number of wolverine films or if we're going to see how i feel about deadpool. bc i find this character insufferable through clips only.

-

playing

there is a feature in the video game genshin impact to turn your World Level (TM) down in order to make overworld enemies a little easier. i am at seven out of nine bc i genuinely can't finish the boss to unlock world level 9, and i am finding some of the overworld enemies too hard at 8 and want to finish the achievements in a more relaxed fashion.

-

making

this is going to be a lot of previously posted pics so bear with me.

saturday morning/saturday evening. plants? repotted. porch and stairs? swept. old wasp nests? knocked down. different mirror on the porch to go out to the curb when i have the energy? yes. also a giant slab of engineered stone from the top of a dresser but that's out of frame.

speaking of the giant broken dresser that was in my apartment when i moved in just over a year ago, i ripped it apart with a crowbar and threw it in the dumpster. put my pretty zebrawood desk in the empty space and started thinking about what to hang on that wall. the wall across from it is maps, bc i think a cozy office should have lots of maps and it makes a good video conference background. maybe this will be the dedicated cowboy nonsense wall. i did so much dusting and vacuuming and mopping and the girls can't even hang out in here bc the orange boy is in the office bathroom. big sigh.

also a lot of driving around and emailing and calling thirty shelters and rescues figuring out how to get this orange man a home. please take this orange man off my hands.