#i hate ranting on here bc it's embarrassing but im just so !!!!!

[pidgecv]

i drew him a bit feminine (and wrong) but yk what i’m not mad it looks p good just not how i’d like

gonna keep adding sketches as i do them

[barbiferrari]

can NOT go to sleep as if it isn't almost 4 am

[tbgkaru-woh]

hi hi hi!!! since last time u asked for hcs or ideas, and i couldn't come up with any in the moment, I AM HERE TO SHARE (mine) AND ASK UR OPINIONS ON XIANXUAN (WWX X JZX) NOW... 😩

dont even get me started, personally for me, its HARD TO NOT ship two men who have punched each other for at least once in their life. AND WHEN THEY BOTH ACTUALLY HV CONSIDERATION FOR EO DEEP DOWN LIKE from hating each other's guts to punching each other's face to competing to an extent (over one girl literally) to actually having no hard feelings for each other to having consideration deep down for each other to believing in each other (to love the girl genuinely) to wwx accidentally and unintentionally killing jzx to mourning over his death and blaming himself for all of it to living again and taking care of his child...😩 i...ok half of the grief came bcs of shijie but ONE CAN IMAGINE AAAAH.

im sorry for making this long, help. (honestly ure the first ever acc i have found shipping them in one of ur arts so i HAVE to rant omg)

i love their dynamic sm, somehow i want wwx to top jzx at any fucking cost. WHY ?! because he wanna prove he's better and better and BETTER than this fucking peacock and he wanna crush his attitude so bad like...and jzx just tryna keep up with him and this fucker is back with new tricks to put him where he belongs. then ends up putting him under himself. oMG. help. im crazy. bye.

SJSHSKSK MY GOD. looks like im gonna go on a brainrot.

They were some of the most obvious to me too only to find no one talking about them, I guess the whole WangXian tunnel-vision and Jin Zixuan not having a fandom will do that to a dynamic.

I just hoped in canon they'd have...more. I wanted to see their arc, I wanted them to fight side by side, wanted to see Zixuan defend Wei Wuxian in front of the gossipy pricks and his word mattering to them, wanted to see Wei Wuxian punch someone for Jin Zixuan, instead of punching him for Yanli.

Straight Zixuan is also extremely boring to me and him secretly crushing on the brothers, maybe even popping a boner while wwx gets REAL CLOSE to him during a fight and needing to leave RIGHT NOW... He'll be a good bridge between the two, he's quiet, arrogant and loyal to duty as Jiang Cheng is, but wwx is what he wished he could be like in certain aspects, not to say that with their constant teasing and play-fights, some truths will come out sooner rather than later.

And when it comes to smut I love to imagine that something that starts as a hate fuck with neither backing down but both their inexperience starts showing but unlike jzx who's more honestly embarrassed about it, wwx has this fake confidence and "need-to-take-cate-of" impulse that turn it into something a bit clumsy but respectful and with a genuine goal of the other enjoying it. Maybe wwx can keep it as their secret,as jzx parades himself around like the straight guy people think he is afterwards.

[tactician]

datv spoilers abt how they handled one of the older games' companions under the cut

(also it's negative if you'd rather avoid that sort of thing)

man im not a datv hater by any means, in fact i Love It and i want to write up my general #thoughts about it sometime - both the positive and the negative, yay nuance - but i rly do need to take a moment to rant about how it lowkey did zevran so dirty and that's one aspect of it that i will never forgive!!!

LIKEEEE OK YES. i'll admit that im being dramatic / sensitive bc i love zev so fucking much and i have been steeled by years upon years of listening to the fandom treat one of my fav dragon age characters (literally the reason why i got into dragon age) like some kind of joke but. that experience is a lot different from seeing bioware do it. ik there's some cute shallow references to him sprinkled here-and-there (iirc 'the invitation' gearset is a reference to him which is pretty nice), but there's ALSO a banter that lucanis has w harding which implies that members of house arainai 'died from embarrassment' over a failed assassination contract in ferelden, which is obviously a reference to zevran - and ohhhh when i tell you it grinded my gears.... it really, really got to me...

i definitely understand wanting to keep immersion intact for people who killed off zevran in origins as well as people who got him through it and let him go off and hunt down crows - so making a reference to the actual contract and keeping the fallout of that contract vague makes sense. but being coy about it (a la harding assuming that leaders of house arainai literally just died from The Cringe Of It All and weren't, like, systematically hunted down by a former crow / survivor who went thru years of literal torture from them) is really like... i dunno! i don't like it! it left a bad taste in my mouth + seeing tons of people giggling over it ANNOYS MEEEE!!!! it legit ruins my own immersion bc wdym the crows have no opinion whatsoever on a character who was slaughtering them left and right in my worldstate lkfdgldkfh

and like even if you view it as a clumsy euphemism for zev hunting the leaders down later on, i still rly firmly maintain that it's a poor one. if he survives post-origins, zevran becomes a total thorn in the crows' side. he killed off influential leaders within the org... he even got a title for it (THE BLACK SHADOW. YES I REMEMBER)... and bioware is reducing that legacy to a joke about people dying from embarrassment -_- like please be serious.

furthermore i don't think it's immersion breaking to just... replace those lines with a sentence or two referencing an assassin within house arainai who defected and started taking down talons given how abhorrent house arainai was/is(?), either. a vague foreboding reference would literally do the job just fine. house arainai was not the fandom's ~*~Found Family Vibes~*~ lmao they were taking in child slaves and grooming them into ruthless assassins - but that lore is totally ignored in veilguard, too!!! even with all the fledglings around the crows' base in veilguard... it's just not elaborated on in a way that aligns with previously established lore.

DON'T GET ME WRONG THOUGH. i'm absolutely not part of the section of the fandom who hate on the crows being a "good-aligned" faction that rook can ally with, because obviously all of the houses aren't house arainai - some are scummier than others and some do, in fact, have the ~*~Found Family Vibes~*~. it just sucks so much that datv provides banter and dialogue setups where the #lore is like... talked about and explained to some degree... but those lines are wasted on empty shit like "the crows hire recruits from the military or the trades! :)" or weird trope-based jokes at the expense of previous companions rather than even vaguely implying that different houses do different things, and that some houses are shitty to a truly reprehensible level.

tl;dr imo if bioware doesn't want previous choices to matter or for stuff to be hyper-tailored to specific worldstate choices, that's cool and fine and deeply understandable, but characters should just be quiet about those choices ;LKGFHL;KFDG BUT HEY!!!!! if i missed a banter where zevran IS referenced in a manner which isn't a joke or linked to his sex appeal, i would rly love to hear about it... because as this sudden unplanned Essay that i spawned proves, im Quite salty about this L;FDGKGFHKLGHF

[talkshowboyluvr]

talk treechy to me 🤭 any modern au hcs you have for him?? he looks like the type to create playlists for his friends and for overly specific situations that are niche to him

TREECHY TALK MY FAVVVV

okay modern au treech 🤩 channelling the four (4) modern au fics i have (even tho two are unreleased, leave me be 😭)

okay so starting w the foundations even if the au isn't based in britain, he has a thick english accent (never erasing hiroki's Londoner voice) but the reason's for it can get more and more ridiculous.

one of his favourite celebrities is english, so he's picked up the accent to be more like them. growing up his mom used to only put on english cartoons so he came into school the first day saying shit like "good morning fellas" and got Bullied so bad.

really close friends with lucy gray!!! (even tho most of the hc's come from the lucy gray/treemina fic im not gonna base the relationships on it or else i'll Rant abt coralbalism) i see their personalities as very similar, specifically their love for performing and such

they were roommates in the olive garden fic and im probably bringing that back for the band au, i think they're so good as best friends 😭

okay obviously emo king extraordinaire, but i doubt he ever dropped the phase. like, he stopped dyeing his hair purple (bc yes he would so do that) by the time he was seventeen, but i think he'd still wear the mcr band tee out and about.

goes all out for halloween. i personally imagine he wouldn't watch horror much, but he'd read it (except hereditary, he'd watch hereditary bc that's my favourite movie) and would really dress up for the occasion. he goes as book accurate dracula like five times bc he just Loves vampires (wink wink)

eats so much fruit its unhealthy. man is obsessed w strawberries.

really good at history in school. definitely a history major.

cannot fight to save his life. the one (1) time he tried to punch someone coral and tanner had to step in to save his Life.

brandy despises him. why? because i think it's really funny. (i usually say it's to even out tanner hating lamina but after songs i've decided tanner and lamina are actually best friends)

okay this one is genuinely just funny to me, but i imagine he has had a BUNCH of embarrassing crushes on his friends that Haunt him. (lamina, jessup, reaper, lucy gray) i really think he fell in 'love' constantly growing up and Coral was Sick of it.

oh and autism. i didn't write treech as autistic originally, but i realised half way through allies or enemies he read as Very autistic lmao.

i have. more. but im unsure how to word them, so!!!! here we are.

[ariestrxsh]

https://www.tumblr.com/ariestrxsh/767067863006740480/hey-im-18-and-i-still-havent-had-a-boyfriend

i relate to this a lot. i’m 21 and like i’ve been with a girl before. sorry if this is tmi, i’ve made out, been ate out and fingered but i haven’t done those things to anyone else. i made her cum with a vibrator and rubbing her clit a bunch of times butttt anyway i’ve never had dick or kissed a guy before. (i’ve used a dildo myself that’s abt it) and everytime a guy has asked me if i’m a virgin i always feel the need to lie😭 like it feels embarrassing?? and ik it shouldn’t be and i shouldn’t feel ashamed of that. just the other day the guy who messaged me on here was asking if i was a virgin and i very hesitantly said kind of. (bc like virginity is a construct, ive had sex with a girl… etc etc hahaha). he asked what i meant and i said like i’ve done other stuff before. he then asked if i hav given a blow job. which i said yes (i haven’t). then he was asking to who (like asking it it was a stranger or a previous partner). the thing is, him continuing to try and figure out/ interrogate how “experienced” i am, made me feel so bad abt myself. i just hate that people can’t be accepting of how little experienced or more experienced a person is?? like to anyone else i would be hyping them up if they told me they felt the need to lie about their experiences. i’d say not to feel embarrassed and if the other person runs away by you being honest, then they weren’t for you. but it’s so hard to tell that to myself and take my own advice. anyway sorry for the massive rant, i felt passionate and wanted to share my experience🫶 thank you for reading

-💗

Don't feel bad. Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sure, if anything, it'll make someone feel less alone. Virginity is a construct. It doesn't really mean anything, and everyone has a different idea about what it means. I know it's easy to wanna lie to people to seem more experienced, but if they don't accept you for who you are, then why do you want them to accept a fake version of you, you know? 💖

[neonmetro]

HAI....SO LIKE,, OPINIONS ON MAHOU SHOJO.......... PERSONALLY IM A DIE HARD FOR IT

I've been into it since I was like 5. My parents have videos of me dancing to the music of like Precure and stuff....WHICH IS LOWKEY EMBARRASSING BUT WHATEVER

Favorite Magical Girls series 👀👀

I personally REALLY like Precure, madoka magica, and card captor sakura, and tokyo mew mew ( BUT OBVIOUSLY MORE ) I WOULD LOVEEEE TO HERE YOU RANT ABOUT YOUR LOVE FOR IT 💞💞💞💞💞💞

-Paris anon

I LOVE MAHOU SHOUJO!!!!!!!!!! i have SO MANY THOUGHTS ON IT YOU HAVE NO IDEAAA!!!!

it's so good. the tropes are so funny and endearing (the running to school toast thing is the most iconic thing ever) and its SO NICE TO HAVE A BOTH EPISODIC YET CONTINUOUS STORY LINE... I LOVE MAGICAL GIRL OUTFITS ITS PEAK I FEAR

i grew up on shit like sailor moon (good lord this changed the trajectory of my life forever), kitchen princess, pichi pichi pitch mermaid melody, and shugo chara (oh my god i am obsessed with shugo chara you have no idea) so um. so far my favorite is sailor moon + shugo chara but i really have to watch utena and cardcaptor ... those will probably make it on top

SAILOR MOON'S CHARACTER DESIGN/DRESSES ARE GENUINELY SOOOO AGUGHGHGHG i love the inbetween pages for mahou shoujo especially like. naoko takeuchi's fashion sense is genuinely peak (like i said i love her dresses especially)

i don't really remember all that much about kitchen princess? but it was cute i liked the food and how much the main character liked hokkaido and flan but i also read it out of order bc UGH OTHER people want to read it TOO (art style is so cute though augh)

PICHI PICHI PITCH LEGIT SHAPED MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD EXCEPT IT WAS JUST THE FIRST VOLUME BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW PIRATING EXISTED AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GET MORE VOLUMES SO I JUST REREAD THE FIRST VOLUME OVER AND OVER AND OVER i got the book at like a bookstore used and it was just peak to me at the time (i tried going back to it. genuinely cannot get past it now i fear)

shugo chara.

FUCK I AM SO OBSESSED WITH SHUGO CHARA THE CONCEPT OF EGGS AND HOW HAVING YOUR DREAM EGG BROKEN AND LEAVING YOU BROKEN IS SO DEVASTATING AMU IS A LITERAL 5TH GRADER AND SHE GOES THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT i love you utau peach pit cannot make me hate her. her arc of having her talent abused because she's just that desperate to save her brother is so devastating, AND TADASE. MY GOAT. MY KING. YOU CAN RULE THE WORLD I BELIEVE IN YOU SEKAII ITEEE his arc is also just so bad. his grandma dies. his dog dies. his adoptive siblings leave him. now he wants to rule the world so everyone in the world can be happy because he will carry their burdens FOR THEM FUCK ITS ALL JUST SO GOOD!!!!

its definitely one of the mangas i can actually go back on and read it it holds up so well and the art style is just so cute (they got a new reboot and it was AWESOME UNTIL THAT FUCKING CAT BOY SHOWED UP (unfortunately sometimes mahou shoujo is just connected with that cringe))

I STILL NEED TO WATCH PRECURE, CARDCAPTOR, AND TOKYO MEW MEW (shields my face as i'm getting tomatoes thrown at me) I KNOW I KNOW I'M SORRY

I DO HAVE A LOT OF PRECURE TOYS FROM WHEN MY MOM WENT TO JAPAN AND BOUGHT THEM FOR ME... plus a bunch of magazines i loved shifting through when i was a kid

i also did watch precure glitter force and that was. uh. well it was interesting. (um. i mean it was. partially good. i. i liked the character designs and art.)

i did watch princess tutu and that was just so fucking good. i love fairy tales and i love toxic lesbianism and some empty ass guy and his toxic yaoi with his best friend

i'll be real. madoka magica scarred me because i saw the mami scene but then i went back to it when i was like 15 and cried over homura and the last few episodes of the main series and look at me now mentally ill and gay and i have homura as my google pfp

i have Thankfully grown as a person and i now understand the hype behind madoka magica and i need every single person on this fucking earth to watch it it is the biggest influence on novaturient ever i love the concept of witches and magical girls and that FUCK ASS CAT KYUBEY HIS IS AWESOME

soul gems are so pretty. i got these perfumes in my room that look exactly like them and i put them up and i think wow... this is just like madoka magica

i have no idea how to end this post. thank you for enabling to ramble about mahou shoujo i am so glad there are people just as insane as i am about this genre

[songmingisthighs]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHSHHSSHS I SWEAR IVE TURNED INTO A MANIAC BC OF YOU AND ODLN!WOO BUT MAINLY YOU!!!!!!! NO WAY ODLN!WOO ACTUALLY DID THAT!!! IM SHOCKED BUT BOT SURPRISED!!! I WANT TO SAY I THINK ODLN!WOO WINS THE HATE BC NO WAY!!! BUT ALSO IM SO HAPPY THAT ODLN!YEO FINALLY WOKE UP!!!! about time you little ghost😭😭 gawd i hope mc and him get the happy ending they deserve! also, if so glad that his parents are finally letting mc into their and their son’s life. i’m genuinely glad that the boys vouched for her and told them the truth about odln!woo and mc. though i feel like the parents should apologize to her! and no little ass “sorry” will cut it. if it were me, if i were in their shoes, one, i’d be embarrassed and two, forever apologetic/“in debt” with mc. embarrassed that i accused the wrong person and never actually trying to investigate any further. then embarrassed again bc i assumed the worst of the same person without further investigating. second, i would not stop apologizing to her bc she really wasn’t responsible for either of his accidents. i’d apologize for assuming the worst, for telling her all those horrid things, and for not noticing how differently she was being treated compared to odln!woo. because honestly, the way her parents treated her so she would apologize to odln!yeo shouldn’t have been overlooked. i mean, think of it this way; had it been odln!woo, they would immediately assume it wasn’t him. they would have been fighting odln!yeo’s parents to defend him. therefore, had i been them, i would’ve thought it was weird. maybe not so much because one could think the parents were disciplining their daughter. but still, it doesn’t sit right with me bc there’s just signs ??? it’s just that no one paid any attention. now, i would also feel in indebted to her because she literally saved my son in many ways that i could even comprehend, even if only one of those times is known to me. anywho, imma stop here bc im just ranting fr.😺🏃🏽‍♀️

THE SPIRIT BOX HAS BEEN SET FREEEEEEE

BUT HOW COULD YOU GROUP ME WITH ODLN!WOO !?!?!?!? I'M GLAD I TURNED YOU CUCKOO BUT ODLN!WOO !?!?!?!?!? THAT'S A PUNCH IN THE DICK 😤😤😤

as much as i hate odln!yeo's parents for being so damn mean to (y/n), i kinda understand them ??? like if the roles were reversed and (y/n) had better parents or yknow just have granny jung and leo in her life, both granny jung and leo would go apeshit crazy on odln!yeo so yeah they owe her an apology but only for hitting her and calling her all sorts of hurtful names but not for defending their own son bc odln!yeo DID almost died and they do what OVERLY loving parents do. jump to conclusions and hold onto whatever explanation is available

but let us first be glad that odln!yeo is back and that now he can start making things up to (y/n) !! >:D

[hontou-baka]

relationship ranting idk

blurgh i hate when im slapped with similarities between my ex and my current bf

I got married without a wedding, or rings, or anything traditional, to my ex so I could use my own tax info for school (plus it seemed like a safe risk in a seven year long relationship lmao). The semantics of it were clearly unimportant to my ex (i had to buy us both rings, and again, no wedding) and i felt embarrassed bc those things are important to me, so we never told anyone about getting married really.

Now that I'm close to getting the divorce done before baby comes, my bf is talking marriage. But in the same "just for the legal benefits" way. And i do want to get married... And i know it would help his taxes and whatnot... But my heart breaks thinking about doing the exact same dumb thing again, and idk i can make myself do it. Like... Sorry, prove im important enough to you to spend a couple hundred on a cute ring, get some photos of us taken together, hell even if he saved money for a nice elopement trip thats fine! I feel like aggretsuko with the donkey guy... Tadase? Idk i dont remember. Im sorry im kind of basic but as a cisgendered white woman that was raised mormon, ive dreamed about a beautiful wedding and feeling loved and celebrated since childhood... I think i should stand my ground on this :/

Another thing. Both have sleep issues and expect me to get up with them in the morning to help them get ready so they can sleep in as much as possible. And im made to feel bad about it if i complain because i dont have sleep issues. Im sorry you havent bothered your whole adult life to find a way to manage with your sleep problems, and im happy to make you food while you shower here and there, but that should not just be expected of me! And its not reciprocated! Its not like i make him get up with me, i would just leave him be and let him sleep because... I love him? Want him to be comfy? Ugh.

While im venting, ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO CHORES REGULARLY!!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!! IF HIM AND I DONT WORK OUT IM GONNA HAVE ADHD BE A RED FLAG I SWEAR TO GOD BC EVERYONE I KNOW W IT REFUSES TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE WITH IT!!!! Im getting beyond furious that he has to be asked FOR EVERY. LITTLE. THING. You eat and use dishes. You put your dishes with the other dirty dishes. Thus. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PILE OF DIRTY DISHES... MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. YOU CANNOT USE THE "OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND" EXCUSE IN OUR TINY ROOM!!!! YOU CAN *SEE* THE FULL LAUNDRY BASKET THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!!! YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN CHORE CHART TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU I MADE SO YOU COULDNT USE THE "BUT IDK WHAT TO DOOO OR HOW TO HEEELP" EXCUSE!!!!! YOU CAN SMELL WHEN THE CAT TAKES A HUMAN SIZED SHIT AND KNOW YOU NEED TO SCOOP TOMORROW!!!!!! YOU!!!! JUST!!!!! DONT!!!!!!! *WANT TO*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the funniest fucking thing is i TRULY wouldnt mind having a more "traditional" setup, id be fine doing 90% of the chores if he even worked 20 hours/wk consistently. But im thinking as soon as i feel recovered from birth i want to find a job myself because he just lets his anxiety win too much and cant hold a job, and i have actual goals in life lmao 🤪🤪🤪 but if i made him a stay at home parent im sure id be coming home to a world of frustration (things that need done never being done). Im just at the end of my rope bc with chronic mental and physical health issues, i get he cant do what most people can (same goes for me, not as severe on the physical side tho) but god it so often feels like weaponized incompetence. And i think it partially is. Ive talked to him about this over and over and it always ends with "just tell me or ask... Even though you shouldn't have to..." BUT THATS THE POINT!!!! IM NOT GONNA BEG YOU TO HELP ME KEEP OUR LIVING QUARTERS NOT MISERABLE, MAN!!!!! USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEAD!!!!

I joked about banning war thunder for a week post birth and he seemed shocked id even think about asking him to not game for a week (his only hobby/leisure activity). Idk.

ok that feels better i guess ill get back to my mashed potatoes

[spidergwen-real-notclickbait]

hello gamers here is another one of my infamous rants you can all ignore but im saying this all to countless people on Tumblr coz none of you know me irl so its less embarrassing but like...

I know ive complained about this before but ive had some realisations but im literally 21 tomorrow (in a few hours) and it still really upsets me that ive never had a relationship but ive been thinking about it and it literally is all my fault like... I have such cripplingly low self esteem I physically cannot believe that someone would ever be into me and just for example, there was this guy I went on a date w from tinder like a year ago now and he was rly nice but I freaked out bc he wanted to sleep w me on the fist date and that terrified me coz it was the first date I went on since I was assaulted so I just ignored him after that... but he messaged me again a few months later wanting to meet up again and I was fucking stupid and cancelled last minute.. like sorry for the long story but just an example of how I freak the fuck out whenever someone shows any interest in me.. and also I found out a few days ago that he has a gf now and I just hate myself sm coz that couldve been me yk?? but its happened so many times where someone asks me out or shows interest and I just reject them.. and then I wonder why ive never been in a relationship like it literally is all my fault.. there was this girl I was sort of seeing for a bit but she just texted me one day and now she's dating her housemate and there was this guy a bit ago that I really fucking liked but he messaged me at fucking 4am one day saying 'sorry for leading u on but im not ready for a relationship' and like???? why were you on hinge then??? and why did you spend all night every night for god knows how long saying how u can't wait to see me again???? like I know a relationship isn't the point of life but when nearly all my friends are in v serious relationships, like moving in together and talking about family shit, I just rly feel like ive missed out and I just wanna know what it feels like to love someone and have my heartbroken and shit like that what every other person I know has and... idk sorry this is so long its just rly upsetting me but I dont have anyone else to talk to coz I dont know anyone else in this situation sorry guys

[yuukei-yikes]

Ok after your whole “shintaro misogyny” “shinaya?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??????!,!,?,?,?,?,?,,,” rant (loved btw, Jin stop making ur female characters rely on male counterparts, stop making your male characters hate women or believe they are incapable challenge), how do you feel about Kanoshin. I know you have talked about it before but like, idk, talk about it again lol.

Kano “I can fix him” Shuuya? Or Kano “I can make him worse” Shuuya.

JQKEOEKDWODIEID MY WHOLE "SHINTARO MISOGYNY" AND "SHINAYA?!?!?!?!?" thats so funny i didnt MEAN for it to be a rant. i was just venting 💔 BUT THANK U FOR LOVING IT BC I FUCKING LOVE TALKING ABOUT THAT BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY BOTTLED UP FEELINGS.

man. kanoshin. i dont think they're an i can fix him or i can make him worse duo. i dont think they are together FOR each other, they're together for their personal gratification if that makes sense??? at least that's how it starts. like they rly feed off of each other's worst coping mechanisms and validate themselves thru that. but through doing this obviously cant help to get to know each other and shintaro is pathetically laughing at kano's jokes and kano is pathetically kicking his feet and twirling his hair at shintaro groaning pathetically on the ground abt god knows what (NEVER forget this novel 7 moment)

also its so funny how often in the novels shintaro just physically throws himself on the ground to start moaning and groaning whenever he gets embarrassed. he's such a fucking freak. like who the fuck does that

shintaro and kano in the seventh novel are so insanely gay it's SO fucking good. THE BIT WHERE SHINTARO SMILES AT KANO AND KANO'S LIKE HUH...THAT'S HOW HE USED TO SMILE AT AYANO... HE ALWAYS HAD THIS SPECIAL SMILE FOR HER, AND NOW HE'S SMILING JUST LIKE THAT TO ME... like GIRLLLL *EXPLODES THEM WITH MY MIND* there is seriously no heterosexual explanation for any of that. god the seventh novel is so so so good. all of them are so good i wonder why it's the least consumed kagepro media they're SUPERIOR. the novels my #1 forever i fucking love them.

anyways. im normal erm kanoshin hehehehehehehhehe i think they're both far too terrified and disgusted abt their feelings for each other to consider stuff like "i can fix him" or "i can make him worse" YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING??? on this subject specifically, shintaros self hatred comes from well everything bitch hates himself but if we're talking abt kanoshin. 1. its ayanos brother. even if we dont even look at shinaya ever being romantically involved in the first place, THIS IS WEIRD TO HIM. 2. internalized homophobia arc☝️☝️☝️🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍💯💯💯

the fic i drew fanart of a couple days ago is SO *EATS IT EATS IT EATS IT* or also a soulmate au that i havent read in aaaages and also never finished but in that one shintaro was already out as bi... sadly both are aus WHICH DOESNT make them bad, aus are awesome but the things I'd do for content like that set post str. please. *bite bite bite bite bite* srry i bring these fics up cuz hehehe internalized homophobia shintaro is so good

maybe kano would eventually set for i can make him worse but it's in an attempt of scaring shintaro away. he's like im gonna self sabotage so much to make sure he stays away from me but shintaro is STILL here looking pathetic and kano's like god DAMMIT. erm. yeah.

btw now for me being crazy (tw me using shintaro as a stress toy to make me laugh): i think post str shintaro is not AS BAD with being absolutely fucking insufferable abt his whole guys rule girls drool thing because my man's had a little time to grow (ignores shinaya chapter in the eighth novel so i don't go insane with anger). i think post str shintaro makes 1 sexist comment and the entire mekakushi dan just fucking freeze for a moment. and give him an intervention and force him to say im sorry women and ever since then is more mindful of his actions. sorry i have to be delusional and believe this or else I'd just fucking hate his ass. im sorry shinaya i love you but *burns novel 8 shinaya chapter*

shintaro's messy relationships post str is my favorite stress toy btw. relationship with ayano crumbles. starts WHATEVER THAT IS with kano. in the self hatred confusion and internalized homophobia and etc the situation causes him (situation being gf dumped me bc im selfish so i hate myself / i kissed a boy a couple times so i hate myself) he desperately turns to the next closest Female(?) Counterpart with the following thought process "Pfff well i am so straight and SO capable of holding a normal relationship and i can PROVE IT there is one person who is 1. girl enough 2. apparently okay with me being a selfish asshole and consuming all their energy with my bullshit". so the solution is obvious to shintaro. just date takane.

turns out hitting on your best friend who also happens to be ur other best friend's gf is not good for either one of these relationships. so his friendship with not only takane but also haruka crumbles too in response and its so awkward. takane bc 1. i dont feel this way abt you and I'd treat the situation sensibly if i didnt know you well enough to know you dont actually like me that way and ur just taking me for granted like youve been doing all this time which WAS pissing me off and on its way to eventually explode but THIS....??? and haruka 2. YOU JUST HIT ON MY GIRLFRIEND?? (shintaro would be like maaan why did you tell haruka. and harutaka are like *slam door on his face*) situation drives shintaro to possibly end up kissing kano again. 🤨

its so hilarious. to me at least. ITS FINE he will get over it and makeup with everyone but i like making him suffer 👍 this is what you get shintaro. What do you have to say to the women in the world. apologize. say im sorry women. say it. say it and I'll leave you alone. sorry i went a little crazy in the end

[wishecho]

stan from it(?) the one i keep thinking is in reference to stan marsh everytime you rb something about him

seeing this ask made me embarrassed at first but ty tricky i am going to regurgitate so much now > : 3

favorite thing about them

stan is a silly guy he makes obscure jokes none of the others get and also he was absolutely at several points in time willing to let more kids in derry die and he was so real for that.

least favorite thing about them

he is just very kind of confusing he is Very hard to pin down seeing as at least in the book he doesn't get a pov for, reasons that absolutely make sense narratively but the most background we get about him is told from the probably unreliable sources that are the losers which is fun but also AGH. he is a bit of an enigma idk its hard to explain. his ass is NOT elaborating !

favorite line

book quote here but "Sure, come on down tomorrow,' Stan said. 'We're going to break Eddie's other arm.'"

brOTP

stanlon that one deleted scene AUGH they are just so. stan was so happy to hear from him again !!! and first thing after meeting him in the book stan asks mike if he wants to shoot off fireworks he got with them they r sweet.

OTP

i am a stozier fan first and foremost solely bc the dynamic is funny to me there is something Wrong with them.

nOTP

stenbrough SORRY i think they should stay stenBROS at best. BUT that one image with the “I-I-I” “JKLMNOP” is them. i can’t find the original but yeah that’s them.

random headcanon

he is a peanuts comic fan. some of his hobbies he picked up can be traced back to snoopy. snoopy is the source.

unpopular opinion

the letter at the end of the it chapter 2 movie was altogether just a dumb thing (bad choice on the writers end generally) im sorry. that being said the fact there was a misspelling made it kind of very funny. mf canonically now used the wrong loose. this will just turn into a rant abt it chapter 2 if i say more i will restrict myself.

song i associate with them

serious answer hey hey, my my by neil young due to him being the first loser in the book to have it used in regards to him but secondarily the silly answer is man or muppet from the muppets movie. it fits bro

favorite picture of them

^ seconds after telling his friend he hated him

[kinki-cami]

Nah sonic final boss music got me feeling like super sonic/team super sonic and super shadow could beat the shit out of the affini

I mean da faq they gunna do against chaos control, both sonic and shadow can do it (see sonic 06) and sonic already killed a fucking giant spaceship oh AND A BEING WHO LITERALLY EATED TIME and Sonic Robot Cthulu God (metal overlord)

Oh i almost forgot: chaos god too (Perfect Chaos) speaking of all of those bosses cpuld probably defeat the affini too (except maybe The End) i mean Neo Metal: shapeshift to hide as an affini, then Assimilate their ship into your form as metal overlord, Time Eater Eated time, need i say more (and is also mostly clockwork and phantasm so theres not really programming to corrupt) and giant Antideluvian Chaos God who literally created the term 'antideluvian' and is made purely of water: unless they have a death star, they aint killing perfect Chaos

Im sorry Open yoyr heart got stuck in my head and it got me thinkin

No inwont tag this bc this was simply me being autistic and i will be heavily embarrassed if anyone actually finds and reads this, oh and no tags means not even "my post" tags

I swear if you read this far just kill me stg (this is a joke) but hey umm that means your in the less than 1% who like me ranting for no reason interesting so umm yeah, havent had that happen, mostly due to people irl not liking me too much and not having a way to deal with my depression, hey you know what since you did heres a secret: i tried to off myself once, i failed tho uhh and my brains favorite dissociation technique is being so hyperaware of the situation it hurts, ive only dissociated properly once and that was when i made popcorn and just wanted some for myself but mother wanted some and i was already depressed and i didnt wanna go througb the effort of using thebpopcorn machine so i wanted to make it on the stove but because mother said the stove popcorn was gross and i HAD to make it i had to use the popcorn machine and i just sorta... broke like everything went numb and i couldnt feel amd everything felt so distant the worst part was i had a "therapist" (doctors were saying i hate eating when that was a lie so they had me in this therapy to try to get me tl eat more or something but she, i dont think gave a shit bc she was apparently getting paid minimum wage) and when i told her abojt it, mind you last time i said ibwas read a philosophy book, i told her yeah the other day nothing felt real, and she responded with, ah you doing some more philosophy again nice, and yeah so fuck that uhh no one will ever read this lmfao soo yeah uhh cheers peoples in my head

[cloudjumpervalka]

god BD/LH really is one of ts*ft's worst songs and im gonna go on a rant below the cut

okay so like right away let's get the obvious notes out of the way in case yall dont know already, or if ur somehow not a follower that sees this, but i do love like a good chunk of tsw*ft content, i love stage performances, etc etc, but ofc "no such thing as an ethical billionaire" and like the list of problematic behavior/etc but none of what i'm about to say is necessarily about that.

this is strictly me ranting about how much i dont like this one song in particular LMAO

anyway. the song but daddy i love him was one i was so interested in by the title when it was announced. I was totally convinced it was gonna be a reference to the little mermaid and go along with previous songs of hers that reference fairy tales and stuff. esp with "tortured poets" seemingly being a reference to like... having a literary theme for the album but ALAS

oh uh . i guess for those that need context, here are the lyrics

like with absolutely no sw*ft*e culture context, this song can come across as a simple like. "me, the singer, grew up sweet and innocent and then this wild boy came into my life that no one approved of"

that of course until the bridge/last chorus when it swaps to the perspective of "my daddy loves him" and shit like that.

from my last reblog about love story, it's very much just a modern version of that song for her now in her 30s.

but like even without the context of who this song is about, because as you know one of tsw*ft's biggest personal beefs with fans/the media is the speculation of her work and who it's about rather than just criticizing the art itself, but again even without that context... with t*ylor's like. weird performativeness... it can still easily come across as "im dating a bigot/someone questionable and don't give a shit what anyone says bc i'm just a victim here"

WHICH IS LIKE.... EXACTLY WHAT THE SPECULATED PERSON IT'S ABOUT IS LIKE (m*tty h*aly) SO UH...

but like even without all that, it's so cringey to be a 30yr old that is like. "yikes everyone i know fucking hates my boyfriend... im sure theyre all judgmental creeps etc"

like what a thing to say about your supposed loved ones.

and like even viewing it with the "judgmental creeps" being about the media/the press RIGHTFULLY calling out m*tty for his behavior and his associations with t*ylor but like. what cringey behavior to be like... "ah shit guys my secret boyfriend is being roasted in the media for being racist/etc... but yall dont know how horny he makes me"

uggggh it just drives me crazy

like i'm not one to hate on every song that is supposedly about m*tty but this one in particular is so embarrassing. i honestly cannot believe it made the setlist for the tour

[j2zara]

DEVIL WEARS PRADA AU OMG OMG OMG. god. when j2 basically becomes jace's work-wife. taking care of his six terrifying kids. comforting him through his messy acrimonious divorce from porter. dressing up and doing his makeup to make jace happy. when jace keeps testing j2, throwing so much at him that should be impossible just to see if j2 will snap and leave him, and not only does j2 not leave, he actually succeeds. which jace finds so so so incredibly hot.

RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT listen this is so self indulgent but i got caught up in the fantasy of Jace being a fashion editor and being a little bossy (a lot bossy) to j2 im so so so so normal and the dual fantasy of j2 getting to wear all the awesome clothes and get Jace's approval. He deserves pretty clothes. He deserves that scene except its Jace calling J2 in like ("J2..." and j2 has to do a double take b/c he's so used to being referred to as fuckin. J3 or Ivy or Lucy or whoever i fuckin settle on being Emily. Probably j3). And he has everything handled and Jace is like oh and J2? Yes? And he just glances over J2's outfit with this strange look of approval b/c there is NOTHING to criticize (he's not the kid in the frumpy blue cerulean sweaters!!!!) and Jace just dismisses him like that's all...

The rat grinders are being little. terrors to him. But he's gonna get them their copy of an unreleased bestseller that was definitely widely anticipated at the time yet in my opinion should be considered a series failure embarrassment on the same level of game of thrones season 8 (I swore i would not bring it up by name but god. one thing you guys have not discovered about me is that i cannot shut up about how truly awful i think deathly hallows is as a book and a series finale. I could probably rant about it for weeks on end. I swore i would not bring up the books by name but dunking on how fucking embarrassing and awful deathly hallows is is sadly one of my favorite passtimes. WHAT IF WE SPENT SEVERAL CHAPTERS NORMAL CAMPING IN THE NORMAL WOODS BEING AT EACH OTHERS THROATS ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO TAKE CARE OF BASIC NECESSITIES IN A WIZARD BOOK WERE RULES ARE MADE UP. WHAT IF EVERY CHARACTER WAS A MEANSPIRITED EVIL CARICATURE OF THEIR OLD SELF IN ORDER TO FIT IN A CRINGE CHRISTIAN ALLEGORY THAT THE STORY HAS TO CONTORT ITSELF AROUND TO MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL)

I got off topic.

Anyway. I love Devil wears prada bc its a flawed yet like evergreen in how compelling it is and how much you route for andy to do well at the job despite knowing its bad for her. Anyway. That's J2 to me. Going from hating jace to DEFENDING Jace. Seeing jace's vulnerability during jaceporter divorcegate. (is there anything else you need from me, jace? your job. I need you to do your job) (in my heart, things go farther than that. Im practicing restraint here) It feels GOOD to get his approval after all. Jace thought. Well. I saw your impressive resume. Take a chance. Hire the smart, plain, frumpy kid. Anyway... you ended up disappointing me more than any of those other silly girls. J2 becoming IMPORTANT, superseding even J3.

J2 dropping EVERYTHING at the end to protect Jace. This job is everything! Losing it would destroy him! Jace knows everything. But he was very impressed with how intently J2 tried to warn him. He sees a lot of himself in J2 after all...

I'm being extremely normal about this. I literally rewatched the devil wears prada a few days ago when i was on my road trip and was like. I probably shouldn't say this in front of my family but like. The ending scene where Miranda smiles thinking about Andrea literally had me going like. Ok am i crazy but is this movie... kinda dykey....

[chopp1ngbl0ck]

TW: RANT/VENT talking about knifeplay, intimate moments, ADHD, relationships etc if you are not comfortable with these themes please don’t continue reading

Ahh i hate my ADHD sharing, i didn’t really know it was a thing but i just found out from therapy maybe a month ago and im just so upset because if i was aware of it sooner maybe things would be so different than now. I wont use it as an excuse!! What i did wasn’t okay ultimately. But what annoys me is i tell people “i’m going to say something and if it makes you uncomfortable we can change the subject” and recently i lost 4 friends and a relationship because one of my (ex)friends were talking about knife play and i was like “if it makes u uncomfortable we can change the topic, i might overshare a bit so if its weird i’ll apologize, its about knife play” and she said “you can trust me and tell me anything” and i told her me and my ex tried it and then bam next thing you know my relationship is over and i’m sitting here wondering if it was really that bad. Like the friend i talked to about it (it wasnt even in depth at all) was laughing and i didnt feel any unease. This is why i feel maybe bc her ex was still her friend and after they all talked they all agreed i was a bad person that maybe i was used as a scape goat .-. Like ugh i do my very best to communicate everything and even still its like i got turned against 😭 it was so bad that i have trouble making new friends at college because i was so traumatized from the situation… i feel like i was used to strengthen her relationship with her ex and to make things worse i showed her tumblr and now they use it and are apart of the community i like posting in and they reblog my moots and like ughhh go away this was my safe space!! I used to have an account with 500 followers that i had to delete because my IRLs didnt know about it and she shared it with my ex friends and it was so embarrassing… what a shitty person :,( i cant believe i fell in love with her fr like i wish my first was someone deserving of the love i can provide, she really didnt care one bit about me… ugh don’t get me started on how messy that break up was bc girl thats some mad tea i will post about some day