#i hate not being on my meds i HAAAAATE not. being on my meds

[patron-saint-of-emesis]

gripping myself so hard by the shoulders rn bc ive been DRAMATICALLY sick and bc of that ive been off my brain meds for several consecutive days. im feelimg so so so so fucking much and i gotta remind myself i CANNOT make any major decisions or statements for several business days bc my head is a box of cats when im unmedicated

[triviareads]

I was bound to hit a wall in terms of my reading and I feel like October was the month. Three books I was very excited about reading this month ended up mostly duds, and one Russian historical romance ended up disappointing me so deeply I wrote a five-paragraph essay on it. That being said, I also found some jewels this month:

Mickey Chambers Shakes It Up by Charish Reid

This was definitely a surprise favorite; Mickey is a college professor who moonlights as a cocktail waitress (the unfortunate reality for adjuncts trying to make ends meet when they're on expensive meds for chronic illnesses), and Diego is her boss... who also happens to be her student. This book has all the beats of a cute romcom but is also very Adult and Grown-Up sexy; Diego is 42 and Mickey is 33 (much to Diego's shock; look, he just wants to feel guilty about perving on his "25" year old professor in peace okay), so they're mature enough to acknowledge the conflicts of interest here and move on. I adored Mickey's brand of sunshine (if she has to flirt a little for tips, she's in it to win it regardless of Diego panickedly trying to drag her back behind the bar), and Diego was just the right amount of grumpy to make him endearing. Also, this book has the rare interracial couple where neither person is white which I did appreciate. If you like Talia Hibbert's style of writing, you'll love this one.

Hard Way by Katie Porter

I debated whether to put this book on here because the actual Air Force stuff was kind of a drag for me (if you like Top Gun however, this might be your jam— and yes, I am now aware Top Gun is about Navy pilots not Air Force pilots thanks to @viscountessevie), but the married couple angst made it too compelling to not include. Eric (Dash) and Sunita's (Sunny) marriage is slowly falling apart, but when Sunny asks for a divorce, their argument escalates into sex. They slowly start to rediscover each other by way of sex with consensual non-consent interspersed with dates including a yakshagana performance which... wow, that was startling to read, but in an extremely gratifying way because I never thought I'd read about a Kannadiga heroine in this particular situation (Sunita is a heroine people looooved to hate on on Goodreads, but I loved her more for it).

Wrong to Need You by Alisha Rai

This is such a gorgeously emotional book I didn't properly appreciate the first time I read it back in January. Sadia is a widowed single mom grappling with her attraction to her brother-in-law, Jackson. Both of them are haunted by her husband Paul’s (Jackson’s brother) death as well as the mysterious fire that drove Jackson out of town. I adored Sadia, who sees herself as the black sheep of her overachieving immigrant family, but she's actually a very capable woman who is quietly strong in more ways than one, while Jackson is equally capable and gives Sadia the love and support she needs. Also, don't ask me how, but I completely missed the fact that Sadia has some soft domme energy so that was a delight to discover.

Wayward One by Lorelie Brown

A historical romance marketed as Great Expectations That Fucks; Sera finds out that the mysterious benefactor who paid for ten years of schooling is a crime lord of the London underworld.... who intends to marry her eventually. This book reminded me a lot of Grace Callaway's Her Husband's Harlot; both heroes have underworld beginnings and see the heroine as someone who is too pure, too perfect for them, and the heroines in turn are unwillingly placed on this pedestal. Look, I love my bit o'rough heroes (who hate themselves; the self-loathing is a must), and Fletcher here delivers— there's some prime angst about being an *animal* who's been "brought to heel" by Sera and he haaaaates it, especially because Sera is actually freaked out by their chemistry and literally has no idea what to do with herself.

Fun fact, this book is written by one half of the previously mentioned Katie Porter (who is actually two authors writing together).

A Holly Jolly Ever After by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone

This book is adorable, sexy, and heart-warming like the best holiday-themed romances are (I say this as if I've read more than 3 holiday-themed romances). You can read my full review here, but I have to say, I loved the sexual exploration aspect of this book. Winnie slowly overcoming internalized purity-culture-inflicted shame in her thirties and experimenting with what make her feel good (including a peppermint stick vibrator; 'tis the season amirite) was genuinely such a joy to read. Also, the fact that she gets herself off to Kallum's sex tape (dw he licensed it after the initial leak), gets caught by Kallum, and he IMMEDIATELY offers to help her out?? A+++ hero right there. Reading Winnie and Kallum's nontraditional path to finding love and a safe space with one another was a highlight of the month.

[marculees]

😷

[cloudy-johnnycade]

ALL OF THE ASKS

good lord

1: Marvel or DC?

marvel all the way my dudes

2: Do you have any siblings?

yep, i have an older brother

3: Do you watch anime subbed or dubbed?

i don’t watch anime :// but if i did i guess i’d watch it subbed??

4: How old are you?

16 :)

5: What is your favorite sport?

does dance count?? imma say it does

6: Favorite soda/beverage?

m i l k

7: What is your favorite tv show?

stranger things or chicago med or oitnb 

8: Do you marathon shows or watch a few episodes at a time?

it depends, but usually a few episodes at a time 

9: How often do you exercise?

uhh i have gym class every day if that counts lmao

10: Do you wear makeup? How often?

i usually wear it every day but sometimes it just doesn’t happen ya know what i’m saying

11: Favorite Disney movie?

OH GOSH I LOVE ALL OF THEM but i really like beauty and the beast, the nightmare before christmas, and monsters inc!!

12: Would you rather watch a movie or a tv show?

a movie

13: Do you have your driver’s license?

i’m old enough but not yet :’) SOON THOUGH

14: What is your favorite animal?

i like dogs and goats and sea lions 

15: Black widow or Catwoman?

black widowwwwwww

16: favorite youtuber?

dan and phil!! they come as a package deal

17: What is your earliest memory?

i remember my grandparents old dog biting me when i tried to give her a cookie?? 

18: Favorite video game?

idfk mario kart?? i’m not much of a gamer lol

19: What is your biggest pet peeve?

ESBFKSI I HAVE SO MANY PET PEEVES IM SO NUTS but i haaaaate when people put their phone down but leave it on. like. TURN THAT SHIT OFF JUST PRESS THE GODDAMN BUTTON AND BAM ITS DONE

20: Dinosaurs or dragons?

dinosaurs are the shit bro i love them ((velociraptors are the best))

21: What is the worst injury you have ever had?

i mean i’ve had 2 back surgeries but those weren’t for injuries so idk if that counts,,, but i broke my arm once?

22: What piercings do you have/want?

i just have my ears pierced, but i wanna get more piercings on my ears! like my doubles and cartilage and shit

23: Any tattoos? if not, would you get any?

i don’t have any but lowkey i wanna get a small one somewhere,, even though my parents will murder me

24: Sexual orientation?

idk im confused rn ugh

25: What is your best subject in school?

i think i can genuinely say i don’t have one?? i just suck at everything??

26: What is your favorite book series?

the selection,,,or the maze runner,,,

27: Do you have a crush on anyone currently?

ye kinda

28: Single or in a relationship?

single but ready to mingle *puts on shades and does finger guns*

29: What character would you most like to cosplay?

hmmmmmmmm beverly marsh?? even though i could probably never pull it off??

30: Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

introvert

31: Cats or dogs?

i used to be a cat person but not aNYMORE BITCHES I LIVE FOR PUPPERS i still love cats though 

32: What is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you?

i was born

33: Tell me a story.

one time in middle school i was walking to class with my friend and i was talking shit about a teacher and lord behold turns out the teacher was right behind us!!! i don’t think he heard me but god if he did i swear i would have ended my life right then and there

34: What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen someone wear?

i’ve seen a lot of weird clothing choices but someone came to school dressed as a taco once

35: Where in the world would you most like to travel?

france!

36: Favorite Pokemon?

uhhhh squirtle i guess?

37: favorite color?

purple

38: Are you religious?

i’m catholic but i’m probably the worst catholic ever ngl

39: Post a selfie

im ugly but i’ll post one in a separate post lmao

40: Have you ever left your home country/state?

yep

41: Do you prefer to travel by car or airplane?

roadtrips can be fun but airplanes are just,,,faster

42: Are you a fan of rollercoasters?

I LVOE ROLLERCOASTERS

43: What is your favorite OTP?

jonahmin ;) @dork-glasses

44: Who is your favorite Disney princess?

belle!!

45: Who is your favorite Disney prince?

eric!!

46: Who is your favorite Disney villain?

i like ursula, syndrome, captain hook, i can’t pick a fav aheofsod

47: Do you sing along to the radio?

sometimes yeah!!

48: Who is your favorite Harry Potter character?

dobby :’)

49: Any headcanons?

for what??

50: If you could have one of the Deathly Hallows (cloak of invisibility, Elder Wand, or Resurrection Stone), which would it be?

cloak of invisibility hoes ((just bc i fucking love that “MY DICK FELL OFF” vine))

51: What house would you be in Hogwarts?

imma say slytherin 

52: When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

i told my mom i love her last night idk man lol

53: Do you have any weird habits?

idk if this is necessarily weird but i’m CONSTANTLY touching my hair like its bad

54: What do you do when you’re bored?

sleep

55: What is the strangest thing you’ve seen at Walmart?

i don’t go to walmart that much tbh,,,i’m afraid i don’t really have a good story for ya,,,

56: What color are your eyes?

green

57: What is your natural hair color?

like a light brown kinda thing

58: Have you ever broken a bone? How?

i broke my arm by crawling off a couch

59: What is your favorite food?

pasta!!

60: What do you look for in a relationship?

cuddles&memes

61: If you could live in any era, which would it be and why?

bring me to the 80s goddammit 

62: How late do you usually stay up?

depends on the day. like a school day i’ll be in bed around 11 but on a weekend i have literally no sleep schedule lmao

63: What is your favorite website?

tumblr dot com idk i guess i don’t have one lol

64: Have you been to any concerts?

yep, six (paul mccartney, big time rush, 5sos, 1d, green day, and harry styles)

65: Are you involved in any extracurriculars at school?

i’m in orchestra but like i guess that doesn’t count bc its technically a class

66: If you could be the opposite gender for a day, what would you do?

beat my meat

67: What are you most proud of?

golly gee idk…….i’m proud of being in some honors classes??

68: Do you have any big regrets?

i regret everything

69: What was the best day of your life?

the day i saw harry styles!!!! love him more than anything!!!!!

70: Do you crack your knuckles?

unfortunately i hate meself

71: Do you play any instruments?

yes i sure do

72: First kiss story?

lmao thats funny

73: Do you like hot or cold weather?

cold weather 

74: What is your favorite song of all time?

i have so many i hate this question

75: Any weird talents?

my fingers are really fuckin weird and flexible it scares people sometimes