#i hate making posts like this because i also dont want to expose myself to violence.

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.

[pookieismissing09]

ok guys i never post on here but heres my take on the sturniolo space camp situation if anyone gives a fuck

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO READ EVERYTHING NO ONE WILL PROB SEE THIS ANYWAY 💀 ill prob delete this icl its just a lil rant 🥰🥰

and if u disagree with me idc im just expressing my opinions 😭 read the whole thing so i can justify myself before u start attacking me

before i say anything im not just sticking up for nick just because im a fan of the triplets. like some people are only sticking up for him because they hate to admit that he would ever lie or do anything wrong- and they’re defending him with no reasoning other than “he would never 🥺” like stfu. what im saying is that i don’t know for sure whether the ‘bee better’ guy is telling the truth, for all i know he might be chatting utter shit. but if he is telling the truth, then im saying that i understand nick lied but its not necessarily a negative thing.

so like first of all i dont see the issue with nick not being the founder of the brand. like yes i understand its ‘morally wrong’ to lie and its misinformation but i think we will live… it doesnt make any difference to the products or the people who buy them. like ik people say that they only bought it to support nick and they wouldn’t have bought it if they knew it was just some random brand, but its not just some ‘random brand’- they are still supporting nick cos he gets payed for advocating it. by purchasing the products, theyre keeping the brand afloat which means nick will get payed for being the ‘face of the brand’ and doing a good job at advertising. or in simple terms, even if nick isnt the founder of the entire brand he is still a huge part of the company and is definetly getting a fat bag from all of this. like yall are acting like you wouldnt lie if a company said they would pay you to do so- bffr we would all do what nick did.

and the other main thing is everyone is complaining about the price all of a sudden. like if you are all protesting about how nick has nothing to do with the origin of the brand then surely he also wouldn’t be able to control the price? so according to everyone saying the lip balms are not his idea, don’t be mad at nick for the ridiculous pricing if he apparently ‘had nothing to do with it in the first place‘. and aside from that, the pricing literally had nothing to do with the fact that he lied about being the founder- it would probably cost the same either way so why are people only getting worked up about the pricing now that he is being ‘exposed’? like honestly people are just looking for excuses to say he’s a bad person like what 😭

and ik this doesnt have anything to do with spacecamp, but in general these days everyone is saying how the triplets don’t put any effort into their content anymore and only do it for the money. i think you are forgetting that youtube is their full time paying job. doing youtube as a hobby and doing it as a career are completely different- and most people find that when they pursue their hobbies as a career choice they start to enjoy it less since they feel under pressure to perform a certain way (and don’t come at me for saying that because im “babying” the triplets, piss off).

put it this way, people that have high paying jobs that sit in an office all day don’t do that type of work for their enjoyment- they only work in that environment because they want to receive a larger income instead of having an enjoyable job with a poor wage. this is exactly the same as the triplets’ situation, i doubt very much that they actually do youtube for their personal enjoyment. at the end of the day they have to pay the bills and youtube is their only job- its not always going to be fun like it used to be (both for them and for us watching).

and for all of you thinking ‘well they shouldnt be youtubers if they cant entertain people’ you have to understand that getting a different job takes time. like the whole process of finding a career, interviewing etc. and as well as that, they are probably terrified to even consider looking for another career because of their batshit crazy fans (including me 💀). like can we just cut them some slack and let them get on with their job 😭. and at the end of the day they cant just stop being youtubers, they will never be able to live their lives as regular people now that they have created their platform- i doubt they will ever do anything else bc of the fear of being recognised in public whilst they are doing a more “normal” job.

and for the love of god this is NOT me saying that the triplets are gonna quit youtube. like i said, its their full time job. im just giving my opinion on people saying they are only doing it for the money- and quite honestly they are, but is that really such a bad thing? like im sorry but they aren’t just posting for our entertainment, they need money one way or another.

also is anyone else excited for the stream later like i hope nick will say something about all this and not just stay quiet until it all blows over

i think thats all i was gonna say i cant remember but if theres more then i will say 😘😘😘 sorry i waffle alot

[satorisoup]

wanna be so straight forward w/ u bc ur acc is so cute and under normal circumstances u would be an immediate follow but the post explaining why u type the way u do comes off as very fetishizy... i rlly doubt this is ur intention but the way u type just seems rlly strange considering ur age and then the reason why being put as smthing romantic just seems rlly iffy 😥 no hate just kinda wanted to let u know so its smthing u can keep in mind

hi hi, nonnie !! ah, thank you for bringing this to my attention !! i appreciate you explaining how you’re viewpoint is, it helps me to give you a response that might explain things for you !! (˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)

first, i want to thank you for the sweet compliments of my bloggie !! im soso happy & i appreciate your sweet words !! THANK YOU TEEHEE !! <3

my blog is completely sfw, meaning there is absolutely no smut or suggestive things on this blog, in my rambles, or in my writing !! so yes , you are right ehe, it’s not my intention !! ( っ˕‹̥̥̥ )

fetishism / fetishization refers to things that are sexual, or the intent of making something a “ turn on ” or finding something sexually pleasurable. this is something that is not at all involved in the way i type / the way im intending when i type !!

in my original post about this linked here !! 🍓 & also the other ask i got about this linked here !! 🍰 i explained things about the possibility of age regression (?) or simply wanting to let out my inner child (?) which i am still figuring out, and how typing with quirks/shortening words makes me feel more comfortable & really, its fun !! that is all !! after that, in order to distract myself after revealing something that was quite personal to me and made me nervous, i talked about my f/os !!

the reason i did is simply because, they make me feel comfortable !! it’s not really too much of a romantic intent, but more over me wanting to feel safe, comforted & cared for expressing myself by them !! like me wanting to be held closely/rocked to sleep, holding fingers or hands, or wanting to do a fashion show !! fashion shows are so fun !! >//<

i think what you might be referring to is a ddlg dynamic, ( which would also involve me using the term daddy which i do not do ) which is not at all my personal intended sense !! its me wanting to feel safe and happy with myself !! <3

i also mentioned this but, i actually dont type like that all the time !! the times i do is mostly when im talking to my mutuals !! this is because my mutuals have shown a respect and understanding towards me, and i want them to know i appreciate them !! its something that shows them “ i feel relaxed and comfortable with you, so i want to express myself with you !! ” its my special way of showing im happy & being me !! ^_^

my blog is a safe space for me, so i like to express myself in this way, and also while talking about my f/o’s !!

even when talking in real life, i sometimes shorten my words like that ehe !! so it’s also partly portraying the way i talk !! the main ones ill say are “ n’ . . . “ realsies ” . . . and “ sho ” !!

my blog is about spreading kindness and positivity, always !! no matter what, i always want to show others that i can be a safe space !! i love making friends and showing that i truly care ehe !! :>

thank you for bringing this to my attention nonnie !! i appreciate you sharing your viewpoint, and i hope i was able to clear some things up for you my love !! (つω`｡) if any of this makes you uncomfortable, please do feel free to block me so you aren’t exposed to something that makes you feel bad !! <3 i wouldn’t ever want to make you feel that way !! :<

with all of that said, i hope you have the bestest of days nonnie !! mwuah, mwuah !! (੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ 🍓

my typing quirks are listed here, for better understanding !! ◝( ´ᗜ` )◜ it’s mostly just words that are abbreviated !!

m’ = my / i’m

n’ = and

sho = so ( like “ shooo cute !! ” )

ehe/hehe/teehee = laughing

tha/da = the

dis = this

fink/fank = think/thank

yous = you

mwe/ma = me/my

ouh = oh ( just another way of saying oh, but more of a dramatic effect )

[packet-of-staples]

I've been meaning to answer this!! Sorry it took me so long.

So when I say hilariously bad, I mean in like its objectively a bad horror movie but it is also really fun and enjoyable. It may have been the wrong phrasing really. Maybe enjoyably bad would have been better.

I really enjoyed the Fnaf movie!! It was a lot of fun and I loved how the animatronics looked. As a Fnaf fan (though only recently, I wasnt there for the big boom) I enjoyed all of the references. While the decision to make the animatronics more sympathetic and child like was unexpected I actually really enjoyed it!

Matthew Lillard was definately a highlight, even if he wasnt there a lot and I actually really enjoyed Mike's character and his relationship with Abby.

Also the animation on the cupcake was fucking hilarious, that mf was just flying around and going ham on people's limbs. Why did it look like that.

The opening music was absolutely banger and the animation was a great reference to the games. I enjoyed that a lot.

The sets where really awesome, I loved what they did with the lighting in the pizzeria and did I say the animatronics looked awesome? They looked awesome. They looked just like the game counterparts and the way they movied looked so accurate and ough, I love costumes. Spring trap looked fucking awesome too, I really enjoyed art direction in the movie.

But, it is still critically a bad movie, there were quite a few problems that I noticed. The pacing was off in a lot of places. While I liked the scene of the characters playing with the animatronics, it went for far too long and I found myself sitting there wondering when they were going to move on. There also definately should have been more Afton, not just because I like Matthew Lillard in the role but because it felt like spring trap was kind of shoehorned in at the end because they needed that final scene. If you knew nothing about Fnaf or the fact that Lillard was supposed to be Afton, you probably would have no idea he was actually the killer. I feel like there should have been more scenes of Mike and Afton interacting that included hints to who he really is.

I really hated Vanessa. She felt so unnecessary, contradictory and was just kind of annoying. She was apparently supposed to be keeping Mike in the dark but I didnt get that from her at all? Like she was constantly giving him lore, telling him to keep Abby away from the Pizzeria and was just overall helping him? She was also just far too familiar and friendly when they first met it just came off as, is annoying the right word? It definately felt weird. I understand she wanted to try and expose her father, but her actions, I dunno they didn't reflect that all that well? I was never really sure what her motivations were. The fact that she was a cop was so unnecessary too, why did she need to be a police officer? It was never used in any meaningful way. Also she just throws Mike's medication into the river!! Who does that!! She also felt shoehorned in for the sake of having an adult female lead that could be a possible love interest in another movie. Her character could have been so much better and she feels like wasted potential. Maybe I'll make a post about how I would rewrite her...

The whole Aunt trying to take Abby away also felt unnecessary. It doesnt get enough focus on it to feel like an actual threat and it really didn't need to be there. Mike could have just been a struggling guy who had to take the night shift to put dinner on their table. Abby still could have needed to come with him some nights. I honestly dont know why that plot point was in the movie tbh. The plot with the babysitter spying on them was even more pointless and if you wanted a scene where people break into the pizzeria there could have been a better way of doing it. Maybe one of Abby's schoolmates' siblings overhears her talking about the pizzeria decides that would be a great place to vandalize idk.

Mike's dream theory stuff was actually really interesting and cool! I really enjoyed that, but I wish it was focused on more. Maybe it would have been better in a different movie where it was the focus, rather than more of a side thing to the animatronics. The dream stuff did also shelve any use of the cameras in the pizzeria, which upset me because the cams are one of the key elements of the fnaf games. But instead he was just sleeping through scenes where they could have been used. The dreams also could have been a good use to hint at Afton being the killer if it was used a little bit better.

Lastly and most importantly, the movie was not scary. I know it was supposed to be for younger audiences, but still. For a movie based on a game about avoiding getting jumpscared, there were barely any of them! Funnily enough the scariest part of the movie was balloon boy, the jumpscare. I also just didnt feel tense at all? Maybe that was just me.

Despite all of this though, the movie was still enjoyable. It was a movie that I liked! The problems didnt take too much from my viewing experience and as I said I loved the references to the games. The final scene where Afton is getting Fnaf 3ed was fucking awesome! I loved how they incorporated that into the movie! Also he said 'I'll always come back.' Which was very good. Mat Pat was a nice cameo to see too! Loved the theory man. I wish that cassette girl said 'The animatronics do get a little quirky at night.' Though. ALSO THE MARRIONETTE CRUMBS IN THE END CREDITS?? I LOVE MARRIONETTE!!

Enjoyably bad definately reflects how I felt about the movie more than hilariously bad. It was a good bad movie 6/10.

[aanabear2803]

hi i've seen your posts about body weight and I as a fat girl, was wondering if you are open to talk about it or give advice about it

I have been struggling real bad with it lately, I thought I was ok and had been for a few years, turns out I hate my body so much and you seem so confident, you got any advice? would you be open to talk about it in dm's?

feel free to ignore this if it's uncomfortable tho

Hi :3 um... so. I struggle with my own body weight a lot. I wont really talk about the bad thoughts that lurk about.

Ive been overweight since I was a wee lad. It especially hurts when my meds make me constantly hungry. Like I am always fucking hungry. So I just snacked the day away without any thoughts of consequences. I still eat these meds to this day. I am still as hungry as ever.

Id say I wont have very awesome advice? Because what I would normally do when those bad thoughts do happen is... post nudes on my kinky tumblr? Which, you know I dont expect others to do. Im sure there are healthier ways to express yourself than to go on tumblr and do shit like being half naked. However there are tons of gorgous women who dress in lingerie and post on tumblr all the time. You kinda just need to know where to look.

Ive also been trying to loose weight. But its more for a health thing since Im close to being diabetic and Im super duper not down for that myself. Im already tired of the meds Ive eaten I dont want to have to subject myself to stabs of insulin.

Im not on a fad diet of any kind. Im just eating 1200kcal a day watching as my weight slowly goes down~ I calculate all of this stuff too.

There's also the difference in how being fat and being unhealthy are wildly different. There's also that thing on how genetics have a say in the weight a person can be. But that is not my expertize at all! But you can be more than welcomed to go search and read up on those.

Ive been more open to exposing my skin a little at a time? Like wearing a bikini while in the pool when Im exercising. Ive been very recently trying to get corsets to work out too! Altho whether you like it or not there will be stares from people. But I would say start from the clothes, buy stuff you think would make you strut a runway. Dont just buy tshirts and pants and call it a day. Find a top in your size and fucking go for it. (Altho I understand many curvy people will not be able to find it cheap and Im just saying if you are desperate for the cash.... you can try Shein. Which I understand many Americans are banning and all the problems with fast fashion into overproduction but they do have many plus size clothes that most store dont normally have for people like us so you know its entirely up to you! But I was close to tears when I bought something and it just.... fits you know? Just dont go all out and buy their entire stock. I buy 5XL on there and dont worry about the number being so high, its probably based around the chinese style with their insane standards)

But hey look, people are going to judge no matter what ok? They always will. They will always find a way to trash talk. Its hard to ignore them, I get it. But theyre not you. They dont know if youre trying to loose weight or whether the food youre eating is a reward for having done a week of gym. Id honestly just say the fries are delicious and they should try it and we move on with our day. Its like online haters, you dont waste an hour of your life justifying things to them, so you have no reason to need to justify things to irl people.

I do hope this helps a little? I dont mind dms if you have any other questions of course :3

[danggirlronpa]

Since polyships are on the table... 🍑 Mahiru/Hiyoko/Ibuki or 🍑 Mahiru/Sato/Hiyoko (I have a feeling this one will go horribly, as I tend to headcanon Hiyoko as being very jealous of Mahiru's affection towards Sato; both Sato and Hiyoko are definitely in love with Mahiru meanwhile can't stand each other. I imagine Sato also dislikes Hiyoko because she reminds her of Natsumi - however fair or unfair that comparison is, I definitely feel like Sato has a hatred of bullies. Meanwhile I think Hiyoko would have a soft spot for Ibuki; she would at first try very hard to push her away and prod at insecurities, but once that failed I could see them getting close. Plus, Hiyoko is attracted to kindness - something that she sees in both Hajime (platonically) and Mahiru, which makes her have a soft spot for them - and underneath her jokey-ness, Ibuki is very kind. And I don't even have to explain why Mahiru/Hiyoko works in this equation, lmao - Ibuki/Mahiru is probably the relationship between the three I've put the least thought in, but, I feel like they'd be amicable.)

Also, my Natsumi rarepairs.... 🍑 Chiaki/Natsumi and 🍑 Mikan/Natsumi... I know they don't interact but Chiaki and Natsumi are very much foils for each other & how they affect Hajime, so I think its a damn shame they never interact... plus Mikan/Natsumi would be so tragic.... finding your girlfriend dead... realizing your friend, Sato, killed her..... selling Sato out to your dead girlfriends brother.... Mahiru having such a favorable view of Sato and negative view of Natsumi & Mikan having the reverse.... the biased narration of Mikan (and Mahiru too).... the thought of my girlfriend was nice to me, a real angel, so she COULDN'T have been bullying you.... and then a year later, meeting a demon in the form of Junko Enoshima, who reminds you so much of your dead girlfriend, who tells you that Hope's Peak is corrupt, didn't look into her death to avoid a scandal with the reserve course so the funding to their pet project doesn't get shut down... and you're angry, you're so angry, that was your girlfriend and they don't even care.... why not let the devil tempt you into revenge? Don't they deserve it? I am so crazy about Natsumi/Mikan and NO ONE is tapping into their potential, the only fics on it on ao3 are my own.... I adore them 😭

I've been holding onto this ask because part of me doesn't even want to touch on a response so it can just stand alone as a testament to the ships. I LOVE seeing people talk about their rarepairs, absolutely fuck yes. Please don't think I'm ignoring you when I'm brief or my thoughts differ from yours because this RULES.

Mahiru/Hiyoko/Ibuki: Neat! Every dynamic in here is fucking stellar. I definitely also think this is a ship that centers on Hiyoko, which in and of itself is sort of fun. Danganronpa fans HATE her. But women LOVE her 😏

Mahiru/Hiyoko/Sato: Basically Canon. I'm biased about this because Mahiru/Sato is my real True SDR2 OTP and I consider both it and Mahiyoko to be Basically Canon on their own. But ALL TOGETHER. BOTH IN LOVE WITH MAHIRU. You know that tumblr post that's like "superhero and supervillain but theyre both friends with the same civilian so when their buddy invites them all out together as civilians they just have to silently seethe at each other across the table"? Yeah

Chiaki/Natsumi: Fine. This. And I'm going to be exposing a lot of things about myself as a person here so everyone just be cool. This is a kismesistude. And I will leave it at that.

Mikan/Natsumi: HELL YEAH. This might only appeal to a niche audience but hear me out, okay. You know yakuza mangas that are like. Oh No I Am A Sad Abused Young Woman/Twink Who Has Been Sold To/Become The Caretaker Of A Child In/Married Into/Reincarnated Into/Otherwise Somehow Become Involved In The Yakuza! im so frightened! what does this mean yakuza want with me!! a heart of gold?! could it be??? oh but because of my abuse i feel like i dont deserve this but through this yakuzas unrelenting instant love for me and very violent vengeance upon my abusers and also some gang drama to force us into compromising situations will i be forced to learn self esteem through the power of love?? THATS WHAT I WANT FROM THEM. THATS THE AU IVE WRITTEN IN MY HEAD. AND ALSO WAY OF THE HOUSE HUSBAND AU

[aquariumgirls]

vei lorepost. (tldr at the end before the cat picture. also this is a huge vent about how being on the internet so young (i was seven) damaged me as a person in a way that i fear may never be truly fixable and also i hate myself)

when i was young (like seven. i was on the internet too young) it was the ship and let ship/dont like dont read era of the internet. being a small child with autism i wanted to consume as much content related to the things i liked as possible, and ended up stumbling upon spaces i should not have been in nor been able to access at my age.

most of them were pertaining to things that i know understand are problematic. it damaged me fundamentally, as i only exited those spaces and realized all the things that i thought were normal were wrong, when i was 13 years old. it was traumatizing for me. it desensitized me to things that i should not be desensitized to. things that are disgusting to me now. and it fucking sucks when people say that fiction doesn't affect reality, because it absolutely fucking does. i am literal proof of that.

when i was eleven, i got my friend into undertale. it was the early days of the fandom, and i liked it because i had watched a youtuber play the demo of the game a few years prior. certain ships were popular. because i was eleven, i thought certain things were normal, and i was in nsfw spaces despite being so young, because it was practically everywhere.

when my friend got into it, she also got into one of the most popular problematic ships. she gave me a nickname pertaining to it, and despite me not knowing why, i was ashamed and embarrassed when she would call me that.

i (obviously) am not pr*ship. i am not neutral, either. i resent pr*shippers because people like them normalized things for me and exposed me to things that i should not have seen, and that should not have been normalized. i still get intrusive thoughts about it. i still feel ashamed of who i used to be. i still feel disgusted with myself when i have said intrusive thoughts. i am in therapy, and it took me a while to realize that it was traumatizing. i didn't just see gross fictional content, i saw real gore, shock videos that made me nauseous, videos from depraved people that i watched on a dare, among other things.

my first anime was hetalia, which im very much NOT proud of. you can imagine the shit i saw in 2011/2012/2013. i also had homestuck as a special interest until i was around sixteen, and by then i had been actively trying to avoid it for about a year.

basically: fiction affects reality and i am legitimately traumatized because of it. to be real i havent told anyone this. im afraid of being judged. i dont want people to think im like the people who exposed me to traumatizing and damaging content when i was little. these things make me physically nauseous with shame. you obviously dont have to read this post because its long as hell but i know that some people my age have probably had similar experiences. i dont call myself an anti anymore because im nineteen years old, but i deeply DEEPLY resent and hate pr*shippers. i also know that some of them are coping in unhealthy ways. but it doesn't change the fact that they exposed me to things i shouldnt have seen when i was a young, impressionable child, and it doesn't change the fact that they're still doing it now.

i am in therapy. i avoid and block every pr*shipper i see and religiously scour blogs to make SURE they aren't one. anytime a blog i like gets exposed for being one in secret, i feel sick.

i was in those damaging spaces longer than ive been out of them and sometimes i think that ill be damaged like this forever. ive done things im not proud of. things that make me so ashamed that i throw up. sometimes i wish i could wipe my memory from up until i was 13. i dont think ill keep this post up very long because frankly i dont want people to think im some sort of freak or whatever, but ive been thinking about this recently and i need to say it to SOMEONE before i go fucking crazy.

tldr: i was in pr*ship spaces until i figured out that shit was wrong and by then i was already 13 (in eighth grade) and by then the damage was already done and now im left with trauma, intrusive thoughts that make me physically nauseous, and a fear that im actually secretly like the people who exposed me to those traumatizing things.

cat photo to thank you for reading.

[midgardian-witch]

well hello, new moot,, finally exposing myself as the thirsty for robbie anon (along with many others) even though it was the most obvious thing in the world,,,, ive kept in mind that one time you asked me to tag you if i ever wrote anything this whole time so yes will 100% tag you whenever i post one of my robbie wips (also would you want to be tagged in all or just the first one?) i was planning to expose myself in that post after tagging you lol and again!! THANK YOUUUUU for all you do<3 ALSO IM SORRY BUT IM INSANE AND I GET SO LIKE IN MY HEAD LIKE "well this persons only ever interacted with me while im on anon so itd be weird if i wasnt at any point so i cant and ahsgsjasbbs" soooo i apologize even though i dont really even need to apologize i guess but i still feel bad sometimes because thats made my interactions with people much more limited and oh god am i venting to a new moot oh god not again

Hey there, lovely mutual! 💙

Yeah I figured out it was you pretty quickly 😅 Like I was 99% sure. BUT! That doesn't matter. Anon is anon and assuming makes an ass out of you and me and all that.

I'd be happy if you tag me in anything you write for Robbie. Our small circle of Robbie fans must be fed and I would hate to miss something. But only if it isn't too much work for you! I struggle with keeping tag lists working personally so no hard feelings if you forget or decide not to tag people.

There really is no need to be sorry. The anon function is there for a reason. Sometimes being percieved is fucking terrifying even online and with as anonymous as most tumblr accounts can be. I send mutuals a bunch of things on anon too because I feel like I am being too awkward or too something so I think I get how you feel. And that's ok. If it makes you feel more comfortable you can still send me asks on anon (even if we both know it's you). I will never judge someone for that.

I am sorry though that I might have crushed your big reveal because that sounded like a very cool plan 😔

[fangirlies]

i dont want to be annoying, but now what do u think of the accusations? cuz the racist video was part of a role in a series, in the nude photos he was a minor and friends came out to defend him, but i dont know what to believe from the things he said and shared on his twitter lol i mean i make those jokes too, the same kind he makes, but its just that for me: jokes. thats why i dont know if its okay for me...? i dont want people to hate me for supporting it but now everything seems too fake to me, especially when the girl who started it all made videos on tiktok making fun of having ruined his career and wrote to someone on ig insulting, and finally, how she deactivated her account when everyone started exposing the inconsistencies in her story (later she activated it), so that makes me think about how strange everything has been 😭😭 especially when percy doesnt give announcements, but hes active on instagram (likes) and also that the cast hasnt stopped following him AHHH I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK i need my favorite writer to guide me pls pls and also sorry 4 the grammar im 🇧🇷 😭😭

Hi there friend!

First and foremost I’d like to say that when the news first came out about the SA, it did shock, confuse, and hurt me. I have stopped supporting artists/actors in the past for such allegations for obvious reasons, so obviously it was a natural reaction for me to no longer want to support someone with such allegations out there. However, I did some slight digging as we all did and informed myself about the allegations being tweeted and after just a few scrolls, I thought the whole thing was just strange. The story never made sense to me, the girls kept being rude to people who were asking normal questions to fully understand the story, the spread of his nudes as a minor?? It truly left me confused and so I stopped reading and interacting with such posts. I also thought it was strange people were going through his likes and kink shaming him for things he’s liked on ig before the accusations came out. And that’s my issue with ‘cancel culture’ they find one thing out and start digging for every and anything they could find to pin on a person and start building their own conclusions, hoping anyone would believe them. And people do.

Now, his use of the slur was wrong and I could never deny that. Am I a little confused about his lack of response? A little. But I do believe he was told not to comment on anything yet for whatever reasons, which at the end of the day was smart on his end because now these girls have twisted and rewrote their story— lacking credibility.

Although I’m not fully convinced about it all, I’ve made this account solely an xavier account and maybe some of his other characters too. I was and still am a little wary about adding his face to my pieces because I want to make everyone on my account comfortable. So if anyone has any issues with that, I hope they can privately reach out and tell me about it!

But anyway bestie, I mean this in the nicest way possible— don’t let me and my opinions steer you a certain direction that you’re not comfortable in. I have my own opinions that some of my other friends on here may or may not have and that’s fine! I still respect them and their decisions to either stop writing for xavi all together or to add his picture on their writings and what not. But thanks for reaching out, I hardly talk about it on here because at the end of the day, it’s an xavier account and my sweet little muffin boy did no wrong. I can happily seperate actor from his character but I can understand why some writers can’t.

Also, omg a Brazilian bestie?? I’ve heard amazing things about Brazil and dream of scratching it off my travel bucket list one day 😭 your grammar was perfect! Never apologize bestie!

[silly-zai]

saw the post about not understandimg proshipping and antishipping.

antishipping started when people saw a ship they didnt like and called themselves anti[insert ship] like anti sokoku or anti billford. then antishipping became a word for anyone who is against the existence of "problematic" ships.

that cuased anti antis/proshippers to start being a thing. proshipping doesn't mean you ship "problematic" ships, thats a darkshipper or comshipper- someone who ships dark or complicated ships. dark/comships include toxic yuri/yaoi, abuser x abused, adult x minor, age gap, incest and the like.

because antishippers equate liking a fictional ship means liking the dymamic irl (although they don't believe that liking a fictional murderer makes you like irl murder) they assume that anyone who for example ships wincest or odazai is a sibling fucking child molester. therefore they harrass and dox people. once a trans woman was harrass so hard on the internet by antishippers that she detransioned and stopped creating her stuff, i think it happened around or before covid. cant find the source rn but u can research. There was also this guy in the cartoon/entertainment industry and he harrassed a disabled proshipper so badly they lost their job, he was then exposed for having acutal csa material and antishippers shoved it under the rug. u can also reseach that case urself.

anyways, plenty of proshippers don't even like darkships. being proship means you believe you shouldn't harrass people for their ships. the idea that characters are like dolls and antishippers take things too seriously is a proship concept. being proship means you also believe all fictional media has a right to exist, ships that are toxic and books about bad people of all kinds. being proship also means that if you see ship or headcanon or whatever that you don't, you follow the Don't like, dont read principle(DL;DR) and Your kink is not my kink and thats okay(YKINMKATO) and block and curate your own fandom experience. you can complain about whatever ships you want and how you personally don't like it but don't do that to someone who wrote a fic about it. being proship is being anti-censorship and anti harrassment.

Ao3 was also built by proshippers for proshippers(lawyers for anti harrassment-look up ann rice and the fanfic.net and watpadd purges, as well as anti censorship for all fictional content), it was also made by a darkshipper (one of the creators is a known throki and wincest shipper, so they shipped toxic ships and incest ships). hating on other fics and stuff is strictly against ao3s DL;DR mentality and dnis should be reported. Also you should look up "american feelings yakuza" to see how people in fandoms outside america think of the issue.

Huh thanks. That harassment shit is awful and from what I've heard it happens on both sides, which is awful but yk.

I feel like I saw a post before talking abt all this stuff but I don't remember when. Thanks for all the info tho. I consider myself kinda neutral on this stuff, I'm not rly a proshipper nor an antishipper bc I js don't care. It's none of my business, and I'll talk to ppl on either side as long as they aren't harassing ppl.

[painonthebrain]

I’m gonna be honest watching everything with @/emmettworld go down is just kinda sad and also makes me. Conflicted?

Idk proship vs anti shit below cut im just . I probably shouldnt be writing anything rn bc my brain isn’t functioning for. Some fucking reason but whatever i do what i want

Like I don’t define myself as proship bc I think the whole pro vs anti thing is like. Ugh I can’t find the words. Idk it’s like.

Like I don’t want to call myself proship because. I have so many friends who will tear me apart for that and itll ruin our relationships and I love them and also I hate like. Having to attribute myself to a “side” but like. I’m completely fine with everything fictional. Yes. I don’t care, as long as it’s properly tagged, warned, etc.

Also I ship stuff like selfcest and clonecest so. Idk I don’t think antis do that.

And anti culture reeks of ew ew ew this (fiction) is gross! It shouldn’t exist AT ALL! And proship culture reeks of oh my god these stupid baby minors this is FICTION. DUH. Youre all beneath me

Anyway I know theres at least one moot i i can think of who has proship dni in their intro and like... if ur reading this. hi. I dont call myself proship but i certainly have some of the beliefs which is why i interact but if you’re uncomfortable u can totally block me like. Im not doing this to be some shady imposter who lurks in the dark i just dont label myself as any of this shit!!

im like. Lowkey terrified of how people are going to react to this post bc im HORRIBLE at using my words rn but like.

Like i just want people to make whatever tf they want to make! It shouldn’t be a person’s problem to “sanitize” themselves! And also fictional characters are quite literally made up people we create to do whatever the fuck we want to them! But also it’s important (in my opinion) to be at least a little critical of what you make. But also you shouldn’t have to file down your expression. But alsO-

Like there are so many factors to well. Factor in when it comes to fiction! And i try so hard to develop my media literacy (even with my underdeveloped baby frontal lobe) every day but even so these topics can be hard to navigate

Anyway yeah no conclusion paragraph because as you can probably tell from my writing. I have no idea what im saying i just feel the need to say something

Idk i just feel like a neurotic prey animal right now like im like.

Ok ok time to get personal guys

I have like MAJOR irrational fears that i am a horrible person like. Almost constantly and pro vs anti discourse makes that shit go fucking WILD. anyway. Yeah i have like this almost fanatic paranoid fear that no matter how hard i try i am a Bad Person and that im like. Metaphorically rotting from the inside and eventually i will expose it to everyone that i am Bad and Awful and Nasty and that even then when everything goes bad ill be completely unaware of my own inherent corruptness and that i will eventually hurt people or whoever i have the capacity to hurt and that things are doomed to fail for me because im such an abhorrent person

Anyway yeah those thoughts are obviously NONSENSICAL because… what??? The fuck????

But then my brain is like ooh yeah lets introduce some fucked up thoughts in here. Intrusive thoughts, if you will. Which all span many nasty awful things that are usually highly morally corrupt and wow I wonder if that ties into all that i said before? Yep it probably does!

Which makes me anxious as hell because then im also convincing myself that those thoughts are real and are my own thoughts and wants. Which FUCKS ME UPPP

So anyway that’s why I don’t label myself as pro or anti because proship makes me feel like im a horrible person who will hurt people and is disgusting and awful (also the intrusive thoughts) and the anti label goes against my very strong beliefs of freedom of creation and expression etc.

Yay rant vent brain barf over!!!!

[eternitas]

Genuine question

How the fuck do I learn not to give a shit?

I have such an issue with that. I get so easily caught up by the opinions and arguments of others. I mean-- when I have a political argument with my family saying "hey I don't think jeff bezos or elon musk should keep all that money" it always ends in me being told that I dont know what I am talking about, I am wrong, It's complicated, what do I even mean, I am naive-- and then I start to believe it. I already broke down thinking that I genuinely might be wrong about wanting a good world. It took my fiance to hold and reassure me that 'no. Your wish for a just and fair world without people suffering is NOT stupid and wrong'

But it also happens with trivial things... I can't read posts about things I like where it says "this is the worst thing and here's why". I know that even if the arguments are things I dont agree with it will end up ruining the thing for me. If I dont already dislike or am questionable towards something, then watching one of those "15 reasons why this thing failed and is harmfull" videos makes me incredibly depressed and fall out of love with something.

I don't know if its confirmation bias, almost a decade of bullying and not having friends, or something completely different, but I want to learn how to not be so easily swayed by the opinion of others. Because even if I know what I am reading is propaganda and I can pick out all of the red flags and I KNOW I shouldnt heed it any thought, it doesn't leave my brain.

Maybe it's my deep desire to be good and right. A person that doesnt shy away from uncomfortable truths and hurtful realities just because-- well its uncomfortable and makes me deeply depressed. Mabye in the end all of those think pieces are just correct and I need to suck it up and expose myself to it all. And maybe I am actually right and the world has been swarmed with hate and negativity that it is just mentally exhausting to keep up with it.

.... Or maybe I just need therapy...

[alwaysscheming]

Apple notes collection

10/30/22

How is it possible to feel so much at the same time? Am I some kind of narcissist to think that this is abnormal? I feel like at some point I was entirely stripped of all my convictions. I feel like everything I do is wrong. Even my thoughts about being wrong all the time are wrong. Ha, it’s meta, get it? My current life raft is medicine. To me it is both the thing that’s forcing my head underwater and providing a life raft. It honestly feels like the only thing that is anchoring me but also encourages some destructive habits. It feels like right now, medicine is all I have. But that’s wrong. I have friends, I have family, the people who stuck around during my darkest times are still here. It’s so hard for me to expose my deepest thoughts. I hope that one day I’ll find a partner in someone who will let me share those thoughts without shame. 

My problems aren’t fucking real. I come from a place of privilege and I dont have any real problems. So tell me why do I want to fucking kill myself? Why does every day feel like torture - like someone’s pulling my teeth out one my one? Like every nerve — maybe that’s an exaggeration, see look at me go making my problems bigger than they actually are. I’m still convinced that people who are unloved and unwanted should be allowed to die. I don’t want to be alive. Very few people care if I am alive or not. So what does it matter if I don’t exist anymore? Who is it hurting if I stop existing? I feel like I should be allowed to go in peace on my own terms. I will never be loved. I will never love or truly trust anyone. I’m sick and twisted and a monster and a freak and I don’t and will never get to join the people who deserve to live and be happy club. That gate has been locked since day one. So please, please please please please please let me die. Please let me go, please. 

I’m never going to get better. I’m never gonna make it out of here.

11/12/22- I’m starting to think I have Stockholm syndrome. I’ve been at the hospital for 13 hours and somehow it doesn’t feel like that much time has passed. I’m tired and sleepy but the idea of coming back here and doing this again for 6 more days doesn’t seem that horrible. I don’t think it’s because I’m enjoying this- I think it’s because I can’t feel anything anymore. After weeks of this post Covid cough and burnout from medical school, my lungs and brain have become fibrotic. Basic hygiene has been missing for months. Some days I brush my teeth once in the morning and call it a day. I’m on my period and have been wearing the same pad for 12 hours. Pretty sure I smell. I eat one meal a day at best and some days I’m so angry I don’t even eat at all. Haven’t felt good about myself in months.  Get me the fuck out of this cold miserable hell. 

11/14/22- I definitely lied. I still feel things but the only thing I now feel is pure uncensored rage. I hate my stupid loveless unfulfilling life. I hate my friends who I can’t seem to open up to anymore. I hate my mom who came all the way across the country to feed me cause I can’t feed myself. I hate my attending who’s making me present an evidence based medicine assignment for the second time in 3 days. I hate the hospital. I hate this school. I hate the kind sweet anxious old lady who spits up her eggs every morning when I go to listen to her heart. I hate myself for hating her. I hate humanity. I think all sense of humanity has been burnt out of me. The only reason I even cry anymore is out of hatred. Humanity is disgusting and filthy. If humanity didn’t exist , I wouldn’t have to be in medical school. I hope I die and the rest of the world goes to hell. Fuck everyone. Fuck this. 

11/15/22- I keep thinking I’m going to lose this battle when actually I’ve already lost. 

[andreabandrea]

i think the scariest thing about 'the algorithm' is how its streamlined radicalization to hate groups. people set up a new tiktok account and begin to like mildly offensive content and it progresses automatically into eventually showing them full-on n*zi propaganda. and its not just automatic and unintentional; alt-right groups have documented before how their goal is to draw people in with memes ("its just a joke"!) and more mild hot takes, and then start boiling the frog. have you ever said "reject modernity, embrace tradition?" you've helped dismiss and normalize an inherently antisemetic meme.

radicalization can happen in the course of an afternoon. one man feels angry because nobody wants to date him, starts looking up pick-up artist stuff, he's in the alt-right by the evening. one british mother feels isolated after giving birth, looks up a forum of other moms, is a full-blown t*rf within days.

de-radicalization is a much slower process. radicalization inherently mixes ideology with identity. personal beliefs become personal traits. for one ex-t*rf, it involved the severance of communication with others who encouraged the radical thinking and focusing on other things during lockdown. the same article suggests it's virtually impossible to argue a person out of radicalization; it's more likely to happen when a person in a radical community sees another member get out and/or when former members of the radical community try to reach out to their former peers.

i personally think an alternative would be "meet a trans/queer person and/or a person of color and realize how different they are from the scapegoat in your head", the same way daryl davis de-radicalizes kkk members. i think thats great for people who can expose themselves to that, but it inherently subjects a marginalized person to the threat of violence from a radical person, and it also places a sort of burden on marginalized people to be responsible for people who hate them. i feel a more stable solution would be deplatforming to curb the spread of radicalization and to combat misinformation. but, i'm not an expert. i at least hope being aware of the process of radicalization and realizing it's not too late to escape it can help some people.

[sonknuxadow]

I care :)

do you really want to hear my thoughts on plastic horses for toddlers. do you. well my hot take is that the g1 and g3 mlp toys are really good, g4 started out good but progressively got worse, and i dont really like the g5 stuff so far

the main thing that i think the old toys did better was having more variety with the characters. the older gens had hundreds of different ponies to choose from, there were a few ponies who got released more than once but it was fine because there were still so many others to choose from. there were plenty of toys that had animated counterparts which was cool but there were also a lot of characters who only appeared as toys which added more variety.

g4 started like that too, but eventually they just. stopped. and started releasing the same characters over and over again. which sucked for kid me because the whole appeal of my little pony was collecting a bunch of different characters, i was satisfied with just one toy of each pony that i liked. i honestly wanted the random background ponies or toyline only ponies way more than i wanted the newest pinkie pie re release that was covered in glitter this time or whatever. i didnt need or want 5 twilight sparkles but i still to this day have like 5 twilight sparkles because they kept re releasing her packaged with other stuff i actually wanted

the variety thing isnt the Only reason i think this and i also have Thoughts on the playsets not just the ponies themselves but im gonna stop here because i dont want this to be too long </3

[lunerbean]

Witch Tips 24

Holy shit it's been over a year since I posted one of these but it's because I kept setting myself up for failure by putting way too high of expectations on myself to crank out 10 new and unique and helpful tips everytime I got 100 new followers except first it was 10 and then it was 50 and holy shit I got so stressed about these so I've just been writing them down as I've thought of them instead and now here we are, please be gentle.

Hello here are tips

1. Use transfer paper and a hair dryer to decorate candles.

Maybe you're doing a spell for someone & you want to put a picture of that person on the candle. This can be a way to help you better visualize the effects of the spell on the person the spell is for. Or maybe you need a picture on the candle for some other reason. Maybe you want to put pictures of coins on it for a money spell. Or hearts for a love spell. Simply print out whatever you want on transfer paper, cut it out & place the image face-down on the candle. Then, you'll want to get your hairdryer and a piece of tissue paper (I highly suggest the tissue paper is the same color as the candle, otherwise you risk getting that color onto the candle. Which can also be fine, but if it's not what you want...) use the blow dryer on a low-warm setting to melt the photo onto the candle side. Remove the tissue paper and there you have it! A picture printed onto a candle.

2. You can incorporate witchcraft into ANYTHING... even brushing your teeth.

I recently got this fucking delicious toothpaste from Trader Joe's. I'm one of those people who sometimes struggles to brush my teeth twice a day because I hate the taste of toothpaste. So I got a super unconventional toothpaste flavor instead, "fennel, propolis, & Myrrh. And about a week after using it, it struck me -holy shit these ingredients have meaning behind them. Most obviously, myrrh is associated with wisdom and meditation. And fennel has been used in magic for centuries! Even if you use regular mint toothpaste, that ingredient has power behind it! Obviously this goes more so for natural toothpastes but I'm sure you can find a way to enchant other varieties as well! Use the ingredients already infused into your toothpaste for enchantments & glamours!

3. Actually study your grimoire.

If I sound at all harsh by saying this, it's only because I'm being harsh with myself too. Study your grimoire. Don't just write everything down & then expect to have it all perfectly memorized & be a master in everything you research. Reread it. Rework it. Learn.

4. Feel drawn to be a sea witch but you don't live by the ocean? Get a saltwater aquarium!

First off, I'm not saying that it's a flawless solution. Being a witch of the sea is more than just using salty fish water in your craft. HOWEVER, with that out of the way, there's no way that a salt water aquarium will harm your craft as a sea witch. Think of it like a houseplant for a green witch. Sure, living in the forest would be better but it's still something special to be able to bring a little piece of your craft into your home.

5. Personal taglocks make a spell more powerful, but exercise caution when using them.

Undoubtedly, using a taglock (such as a strand of hair) can better connect you to the spells you're performing, but they're not always wise to use. I only use them in extremely personal spells and crafts. Things that no one except for me can have access to. I would never suggest using a taglock on something that you wish to give another person (especially another witch) such as a spell bottle or sachet. Even if you're best friends. Even if you're siblings. Even if you're MARRIED. You never know when a relationship can turn south or what someone is capable of when they're extremely angry with you. Don't risk it.

6. Be respectful of the deities that you don't worship or work with

I don't work with deities. Shocker, I know. I have my own belief system when it comes to higher powers that I won't get into on Tumblr, probably ever. But I do believe in showing respect to all things, both living, dead, & otherwise specified. If a deity approaches you who you're not interested in working with, please remain kind & respectful with in declination. You're allowed to say no to anyone and everyone.

7. Just because someone is more experienced doesn't necessarily mean they're always right.

Without naming names or being too specific, there was a witch I followed on Tumblr for a long time. They were much older than me and had been a witch for like 20+ years. I followed everything they said as fact. But slowly, over time I started to learn more and realized I didn't always agree with them. They were SO negative. If they heard basically anything new that younger witches were coming up with, they'd have a whole 10 paragraph post about how "stupid and wrong and ridiculous and fake" these new witches were. There was not an ounce of open mindedness with this person. And because of that, I started to feel really bad about myself and my craft. Things they said would stick with me and I'd feel so shitty about it. Well fuck. That. More experience means absolutely nothing if the person is unwilling to learn or expand their minds beyond their previous knowledge. Anyone can learn and anyone can teach. Age means nothing. Surround yourself with open minded people.

8. Put full moon water into your humidifier to charge your space.

This is an idea that only just occurred to me while I was setting up my crystals & jar of water to charge under the full blue moon on Samhain. I always turn my glowing humidifier on at night while I sleep. As I watched the mist begin to arise out the top I thought to myself, 'if I'm charging that water (the glass jar on my altar) for the full moon, why not this water too?' So now, I just add a little splash of full moon water into my humidifier water whenever I'm performing rituals or doing spell work. This way, the full moon water can charge my entire bedroom with the power of the full moon as I work.

Speaking of...

9. You can charge water under more moon phases than just full.

I don't know if that wording was weird or not so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. My point is, I always see people talking about moon water as if it's only full moon water. The moon holds power in every phase she goes through. Adding to the above tip, you can put new moon water into your humidifier to cleanse your space. Waxing moon water to help you plan and focus. And waning moon water to assist during a banishment spell. Hell yeah dude, all phase of the moon are useful and powerful!

10. Incense matches are a great alternative to full incense sticks

I love burning incense, but sometimes it can really overwhelm the area, especially because my house is small & I dont want to expose my cat to it. Incense matches are literally matches that are covered in incense powder. They burn for just a few minutes & produce a steady stream of smoke for spells. They come in a bunch of different scents. I buy them locally for 30 matches for $1.05USD but you can probably find them cheaper online. Still be sure to keep them away from pets & those who are smoke-sensitive.

Thank you so much for reading, follow me for more #10tips, search my blog for the previous 230 tips, & have a magical day.