#i hate how ao3's tagging system works for this kind of stuff

[itwoodbeprefect]

fic writer 20 questions

i was tagged by @luredin! thank you! <3

i feel like i've done this one (or one very like it) at some point before, but i couldn't find it when i went searching, so maybe i just read through it and composed answers in my head? or my very confused tagging system is understandably failing me.

How many works do you have on AO3?

right now, 242!

What's your total AO3 word count?

587,542.

What fandoms do you write for?

several! these days mainly starsky & hutch, but h50 is still very present too, and i think both stargate atlantis and 911 may also be worth mentioning. beyond that there's a lot of other things for which i'm working on a single fic, or there's a document with multiple of them but i only open it once in a blue moon.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well. four out of five of these are for a fandom i wouldn't write for anymore today for obvious reasons, and the other one (Tell me I'm perfect) is a Shadowhunters fic:

It's the truth

Tell me I'm perfect (but tell me the truth)

I dare you to dare me

Finders Keepers

That escalated quickly

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i wish i did! i keep trying to get into a healthier habit on that front, because i love comments and i'd like to say thank you and engage with people more, but it's a complicated thing - not in real life, but in my head, unfortunately.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

not an easy question, and it's not because there's too many to pick from! i'll indulge in a little melancholy at times, and maybe even a somewhat things-aren't-perfect ending, but generally there's at the very least a solid spark of hope even if the rest of the fic was sad. i think maybe Sobering (a mash hawk/trap fic) could qualify for actual angst, but even that one i seem to have tagged as "angst? i think?" when i posted it.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

now this, this is where we get tangled up in weighing a hundred fluffy fics against each other to decide happiness rankings! maybe something like Flowers for no reason but you missed me (starsky/hutch) or And I love every inch of you (And then some, and then some) (h50 steve/danny) because both of those are just pure giddy happiness start to finish, which means the happiness has been building for the longest by the time the ending rolls around.

Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully, not really! most of my stuff is deeply inoffensive. there's been a sporadic comment here or there over the years of someone randomly telling me they didn't agree with something i wrote (by which i don't mean people pointing out genuine mistakes - that's very different, and very helpful), but even then i wouldn't necessarily classify that as "hate", just as a very awkward way to respond to reading something that annoys you for whatever reason. what springs to mind is one that started with "i have not seen the episode" and then proceeded to interpret an in context line from a character as my personal beliefs on whether children are capable of evil, so. that kind of thing.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

not officially! but unofficially i've been told that it's fun and really really sweet, so no surprises there.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not usually, which means that the craziest (and only) one on ao3 is probably the h50/s&h crossover (Said the apple to the orange), which is truly very uncrazy.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i wonder about that sometimes (i feel like after many many years and with the recent bot stuff on top, the answer should maybe be "probably"), but not that i know of!

there was an instance once of someone copying a story title, but they did so in a way that didn't even work. i was writing in dutch at the time, but english titles were Very Cool, so my story was called "ladies, bugs and ladybugs", and the other person took that, translated it to dutch, and used that for their story, which. those words don't match up the same way in the slightest, so it's just a random sequence of things by that point.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! actually, i was probably the first person to translate any of my fic - all of the very, very early stuff posted to ao3 was just an english copy of originally dutch stories - but these days there are also a lot of russian translations (russians seem to be very active in h50 fandom!), some mandarin, some french. one italian, i think. it's very cool!

also, shout out to people who do podfics, too. <3

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

a few attempts were made over the years, but most of that never went very far for one reason or another. none of it is on ao3.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

as of right now, probably starsky/hutch!

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

oh, i'm afraid i could fill, well, lists. one that immediately comes to mind that's technically a little past this category because i know i'll never finish it is a very long h50 project in which i took up about a hundred different little threads from the series and tried to weave them together into a giant fix-it-ish getting together coming out case fic sort of thing, and i still think the plotting work for that one was sound, but i'm just never going to actually get 100k down for a fic like that at this point in my life. (note that this is not a fic that's already up on ao3 in part - i'll finish those, one way or another.)

and oh my, for maybe a better answer: the starsky-watches-cowboy-movies starsky/hutch fic. i want to write that one, i do! and i am, and i do have real hope that i may one day finish it, but it's a fairly ambitious project in multiple ways, so there are some serious obstacles i will need to find some way around.

What are your writing strengths?

i love the patter of writing dialogue! people tell me characters sound believable and like themselves, so that's nice. also, balancing ridiculously fluffy things in such a way that it doesn't tip over into saccharine, and i also think i manage good jokes sometimes. i've been working on descriptions and atmosphere, and that's been fun.

What are your writing weaknesses?

i've completely unlearned how to write long stories! and ironically, i do write a lot of overlong sentences. also, i'll turn to google for absolutely anything, but deep down i'm a pretty impatient writer when research is needed and it doesn't happen to be a subject i'm already interested in, which oftentimes means i'd rather handwave things or scrap the idea entirely, even though i think really well-researched fic is amazing. and on that note, no matter how much american media and internet content i consume, i'm not american and have never been to america, which can be a challenge when writing for almost exclusively american fandoms. (i think i understand beds now, but i'll have to google sinks one of these days.)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

ha! this was a thing that was very, very common for a while in my dutch fic writing community, because more or less all of the fictional properties and/or real life celebrities people were writing about were british or american (maybe with tokio hotel as the one notable exception), so there was A Lot of fic written in dutch with stilted high school english dialogue thrown in. i was never very into that, but hey, if it makes you happy, definitely go for it, and that goes double if it's just a few sentences for flavor! compared to what i used to see, ao3 culture is extremely conservative with these sorts of things.

all of which i say while also still, in the back of my head, considering the possibility of writing a really obnoxious ted lasso fic with 90% dutch dialogue, so. i too might become guilty at some point in the future.

First fandom you wrote for?

twilight! it was nessie/jacob, with i think a love triangle with a vampire thrown in. we all have to start somewhere.

Favorite fic you've ever written?

i recently reread How To Build A Triangle (or accidentally fall headlong into one, or whatever the fuck) and i still think it's really good and fun, plus it's a minor miracle that i got it finished so easily! there's a decent chance i'd name a different fic if you asked me again tomorrow, though.

Tagging

I have no idea who has already done this or been tagged for it, so I'm just going to throw a few names out there (@redgoldblue @actingcamplibrarian @stephmcx @spurious @goneahead), and then give the usual disclaimer that obviously i'm tagging you all with no pressure, and that if anyone sees this and it seems like a fun list of questions, i'm tagging you too! ✨

[sweetsmalldog]

Rating: General Audiences Relationship: John Booko & EthosLab & Daniel M. | VintageBeef & Steffen Mössner Characters: Docm77, Ethoslab, VintageBeef, Bdouble0 Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - SCP Foundation, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Powers, self ingulgent, The NHO | New Hermit Order, Found Family

Another day in the wrong Universe. Another day being pursued by the Foundation. Another day of hiding in a rundown shack because of it all. Aka a glitch leaves the Hermits reborn in one of the same Universes as the SCP Foundation and well none of the Hermits quite pass for human, some of them gaining new abilities doesn't help. The Hermits always find each other though, even if most can't remember why.

Part 1 of the Anomalous Hermits series

[galacticidiots]

So you want to read some banging Reylo fics...

{or: a roundup post of some of my recent reads}

And It Burns. (T, 6K) I am begging you to read this. It’s Lightside Ben and Darth Kira and it is glorious and so beautifully written. The constant push and pull between them, the shifting dynamic, the way the character roles are reversed but everything still feels so incredibly natural and organic and them... masterful. So, so gorgeous.

To Say (M, 600 words) is a really, really beautiful soulmate AU drabble. You will definitely cry, but it’s so worth it. Truly.

I’ve got you (under my skin) (E, WIP) Y’all, it’s nanny Rey and she’s hooooorny. So is Ben. They’re both like, indecently horny. It’s great. Basically, Ben hires Rey to look after his son. (Sexy) stuff happens.

Six Feet Under (E, WIP) Archeologst Ben & Egyptologist Rey are working on a dig together when they find a very interesting journal. It goes very much uphill from there. Guys, this is so much fun! Do you know how long I’ve wanted a story like this? (as long as I’ve been alive, probs). I love the fact that they’re supposed to have huge IQs but they’re basically idiots when it comes to like... feelings.

Truth Be Told (M, 29K) IT’S AN ALIAS AU. Ahhhhh. Alias is one of my favourite shows of all time and this does not disappoint. Rey is the babeliest badass, just like Sydney, and Agent Ben is dreamy, just like Vaughn. This reminded me of the best of Alias and for that, I love it.

Midnight Snacks (T, 2K) They meet late one night in the community kitchen and Ben is offended that Rey would choose to eat something as awful as noodles - so he makes her something infinitely better :))

A Bright New Light (G, 3K) A really special take on Ben’s time at the Temple and how he felt when Rey was born. I love everything about this. The author’s take on what Ben felt when he was sent away, on his conflicting emotions, his inability to fit in, and his yearning for belonging all align perfectly with what I have always envisioned. I also love the care they put into the side characters, like Luke and particularly Tai, and the way they wrote about the bond. So, so beautiful.

a love like ours (T, 6K) In which Ben is a funeral director and Rey is a florist and ohmygodit’samodernHadesandPersephone AU. Utterly charming!!

Do You Know The Muffin Man? (T, 2K) The one where Ben is smitten with his co-worker Rey and he starts leaving muffins on her desk. So really, my taste in everything.

can’t take my eyes (off of you) (E, WIP) Is the genderswapped 10 Things I Hate About You AU of my dreams. I don’t know what else to say besides the obvious - read it.

take care of you (M, 3K) Come one, come all - get your sugar sweet devoted Reylo fix! Wherein Ben has had a bad day and Rey wants nothing more than to make it all better *happy sigh*

Remedy For Rivalry (E, WIP) Listen, some people say there’s no such thing as a perfect story, but then this comes along and it’s an historical arranged marriage enemies to lovers WHO HAVE HISTORY type of deal and they are proven wrong. Because this? Perfection.

how to be something you miss (T, 7K) They’re exes but they love each other and they miss each other but they’re dumb... is the thing. Soft. Soft, soft, soft and sweet and perfect.

all of you, all of me (intertwined) (T, 7K) *sobs in a good way* This is an incredibly sweet take on the whole ‘redeemed Ben trying to fit in at the Resistance base’ scenario. Lovely stuff!!

A Nightingale Sang (E, WIP) I know I keep begging you to read stuff, but I am begging you to read this. It’s so fucking beautiful I could cry. I have cried, and I’m sure I’ll continue crying. It’s a WWII AU and Ben & Rey are both pilots. I don’t want to spoil it for you because this is not the kind of story you read - it’s the kind you experience. Give it a chance, I promise you won’t regret it.

Choreae Lucis (E, 7K) The one where single father Ben takes his daughter to Ballet lessons and his heart pirouettes for teacher Rey. Sooooooooo sweet and wonderful and SOFT.

neither here nor there (E, 6K) What happens when Rey purchases a sex toy that is an exact replica of porn star Kylo Ren’s, uh... lightsaber, only to find out that her neighbour Ben is Kylo Ren? This happens, and it’s glorious.

curse the beauty, curse the queen (E, WIP) I’ve only just started this but the premise is delicious - former Queen of Naboo Rey and Senator Ben Solo are to be married, in a plan hatched by Ben’s grandmother Padmé. Naturally, I’m in lust.

Twitfics

System Override - If you’ve been following me for any measure of time, you might be aware of how much I love the Illuminae series (it’s a whole, disgusting lot). This gives me the BEST illuminae vibes. Basically, It’s Supreme Leader Ben bonding with AI R.E.Y. I love love love love it.

want you more than a melody is my current obsession. Orchestra AUs are of one my favourite things in the world and this one is GOD TIER. Ben plays the cello, Rey plays the flute, and they are reunited at the New York Phillarmonic after six years without seeing each others. Turns out, Rey was left with more than just memories after their whirlwind romance. This. is. everything.

Betas Only is a roommates AU in which Ben is looking for a beta to share an apartment with him. Beta Rey applies (lol). Also on AO3!

Priceless - Y’aaaaaaall, it’s a Wedding Date AU and I’m in love.Or: the one where Rey hires Ben to be her escort to Rose’s wedding.

Fall Into the Dark Side - comic bookshop worker Rey and comic book writer Ben are possibly my new faves. I binged it this morning and I love everything about it.

Lingerey - the one where Rey texts her dearly detested colleague Ben a photo of herself...scantily clad. Shenanigans very much ensue. Gourmet!

Lingerey (II) is another take on the above prompt, but this time Rey is Ben’s son’s nanny.

Shampoo Challenge features roommates Ben & Rey and Ben’s dick going viral.

Artfullly sees Poe asking Ben & Rey to participate in his risqué art installation.

To Whomever Gets My Dog tells the tale of military man Ben who has to leave his pooch behind. Thankfully, Rey is available to foster him :)

Last twitfic rec post | Fic Rec tag | Masterpost

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey steph! how long would you say you spent on sorting out fic recs and tagging them and all that stuff? just curious because i really wanna start a fic rec blog too

Hey Nonny!

UGGGHHHH Tumblr deleted my entire response, so I’m going to just jot out what I remember.

Depending upon how long you’re willing to spend, a LONG time. You guys have NO idea how much work it is, and how much off-tumblr time I spend doing it. When I keep saying “it’s a full time job” it really is. The blogging you guys actually see takes about 2 hours, from filing my blog to answering a few asks here and there, but the rest is ALL filing my fics and creating lists. 

Now, mine is “perfected to my liking” after two years of trial and error and headaches, but yeah, if you’re serious about becoming strictly a fic rec blog, prepare to put in a lot of time and effort. BUT to be fair, I’m ridiculous in my sorting and organizing... I have a weird OCD thing where I need stuff sorted in a certain way, and it takes longer than it probably should. But it works for me and it has become very streamlined now that almost all of my Ao3 bookmarks are finally sorted. In the beginning, when I decided I would start reccing fics, it was only meant to be a here and there thing, but then people kept coming to me more and more and that’s when I decided I needed to keep an offline list. So here’s some tips from me to you:

Keep offline lists. Tumblr fucks up enough that you WILL lose interest in redoing a big 50-fic list if tumblr decides that nope, today I don’t feel like posting your file because you didn’t refresh your page BEFORE typing it out.

Going along with the above, keep an offline masterlist of your read-and-tagged fics. All the recs I give you guys? They’re all on one of three list masterlists I have offline: GO Recs, FFNet Recs, and Ao3 Recs. This will be SO much easier for searching for topics when making new lists.

Do the lists WAY ahead of time. This has given me back many-a-Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday nights because I prep my lists ahead of time.

Develop the “public” system of filing for your things, and use that for your Masterlist, so you don’t have to redo it every time (so like don’t have just Ficname by author if that’s not what you want to do for your recs). For example, my system is this, emphasis included: Fic Name by Author (Rating, wordcount, Chapter count || WIP/AU if applicable || PODFIC LINK if applicable || list of personal and/or author tags here, even if they spoil the story; i’ve found some people with triggers appreciate that I tag EVERYTHING I find in the stories) – Author’s description or personal description if there isn’t one. Series link if it’s part of one. This way, all I have to do is copy-paste it into new documents for each list, and then copy-paste the whole list into the Tumblr doc. 

Also, re: the above, do the layout in Tumblr if you’re doing a Tumblr rec blog. It keeps the formatting consistent and I don’t have to fix it between Ao3 and FFnet if I just copy-paste everything into a blank Tumblr doc, and then copy paste THAT onto the masterlist. Trust me on this one. 

Draft everything. This goes along with all the above. I always “start” a list and put a big header so that I can find it in my drafts (that’s why they have the big bold H1 headers on them) and then hit “draft”. Then keep a list of your drafted fics in your preferred method of organization. I keep everything in Text Edit RTF files. I believe Alexx told me once she did spreadsheets. Either way, develop a system BEFORE jumping into this thing, because you will EASILY get overwhelmed if you aren’t used to high-stress levels.

Tag fics as you read them. Trust me on this one. Because it will save you MONTHS of re-reading every single bookmark so you can properly file fics. I do this on my Notes App with the story title, and then all the tags I know are popular requests or are for lists I know Nonnies have asked for.

Keep CONSISTENT in your tags. Don’t tag one thing O!verse but another Omegaverse. I had to redo a lot of my older tags because CMD+F was pointless on a document I purposely made to streamline the process.

USE Ao3′s TAGGING FEATURE for your bookmarks. Just make sure that if any of your tags are spoilerific, make sure you keep the rec private.

File EVERYTHING as soon as you bookmark it. It will save you a LOT of hours of going through all your recent bookmarks to file them. 

That said, HAVE A FILING SYSTEM if you’re keeping everything offline. Keep separate documents for each list... Trust me on this. I used to just have one document each for Fluff fics, for example, and put subheaders in them, and it just got messy and annoying as my fic reccing became more common and plentiful. Instead, have a nice list like this, for instance:

The grey dots next to some of them are old filing methods that I need to fix and pull out. Also, as you can see, every time I finish a list, I file it into Posted and start a new list appended with a Pt number. It just keeps the system moving smoothly. I also have a system for the coloured dots; Grey is Old and refile, Orange is drafted on Tumblr, and Orange and Green means it’s drafted and ready-to-post.

I also have an offline “drafted posts document”:

That also has a system as you can see, but it keeps me knowing what I’ve already got drafted on Tumblr if I forget to tag the files with the colour dots.

It looks tedious and complicated, but I promise you, it’s really simple once you’re familiar with my method. Which is why I’m saying, you need to develop this kind of system REALLY early rather than 2 years later like I did. This drafted posts list is only recent as of... February I believe is when I started it.

Hmmm. Ah, yeah, so you can see it’s a lot of work, and this is why I absolutely dislike HateAnons negatively criticizing my lists, because it IS a lot of MY free time, between 8 and 48 hours a week. But if you truly enjoy sorting and organizing like I do, it’s a bit easier to cope with. So, yeah, whenever I tell you guys “I need some time away” this is why, and usually I switch to playing video games or doing art, both of which I miss doing on the weekends. I’m trying to keep the Tumblr stuff to mostly Weeknights these days, so that it’s an extension of my day job. Funny how I have less free time working at home than I did when I wasn’t; because I feel obligated to always be on my computer now, and I hate that. Like right now, I just bought 2 new games to play and I haven’t tried them yet because I’m always working both day-job stuff AND Tumblr stuff on weekends. 

So yes, that’s another tip: Don’t let it consume you, and set a schedule. Don’t feel obligated to answer every request. When I am tired and I just genuinely don’t have the energy to dig through 1000+ fics to find 2 or three for an obscure ask, I usually make it an interactive ask – not only does it encourage community involvement and a sense of belonging for everyone, but I also discover new fics to read too! I am IMMENSELY proud and happy that my fic lists have essentially become “fic exchange” grounds. Before it was only on one or two lists, some timid new authors added their fics to my big lists, but now, since people SEE that I add their fics hidden in the notes to the main post, now everyone is happy to share their faves on the main lists AS WELL AS the smaller single asks. I like to think of myself of a “curator of happy things” so that’s what I like to do with these. 

That said, you have to also decide if you’re going to be this interactive as well. Because that adds an ADDITIONAL hour or so as you make a separate “MFL” document and file those too. It’s time consuming, but totally worth it because if I’ve read the fic, all I have to do to that post in my MFL list is add my tags and file that block of text :)

I hope I helped you out a bit, Nonny, and I hope you guys enjoyed seeing a bit of my process. If I can get OBS to work on my laptop, maybe I’ll do a short video so you guys can see me doing it live. 

Anyway, sorry this got long. :P

[pebblysand]

20 Questions: Writer's Edition!

I haven't been tagged in this but I saw it on @femellerklem's blog and as I'm on holidays with nothing to do, here it is for everyone's enjoyment, haha.

How many works do you have on AO3?

19

What’s your total AO3 word count?

302,756 words. As I was telling @whizzfizz the other day, I need to get a life.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

The Good Wife, HP, Spooks, Silk, House M.D., Peaky Blinders and Without a Trace. So, seven. Like Horcruxes, lol.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

That's an interesting question, let me check.

one: castles (hp) ; two: the wolf's just a puppy (and the door's double locked) (hp) ; three: truth (peaky blinders) ; four: slipped (and sad something sort of like your name) (hp) ; five: the things that will likes (the good wife)

I can't say I'm shocked that the Potter stuff is so high up, it's the most popular fandom I've ever written for so it makes sense, just in terms of a larger readership pool. I'm always however pleasantly surprised that Truth is up there. It's the only PB fic I've ever written (although I have plans for another one) and not a particularly popular ship, so it's always nice to get recognition for it. IIRC, it wasn't a hit when I put it out but it's been growing steadily ever since! It was also the first fic I wrote after a three-year writing slump, which makes me oddly proud of it. It's not perfect by any means and has obviously been contradicted by canon since then, but I like it.

Please, however, stop dropping kudos on the things that will likes. It's really not great. I do hope my writing has gotten better since 2012 and don't understand why people like this. I've considered deleting it so many times but it's got so many kudos, it make me feel bad for the people who do enjoy it.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Always on AO3, never on ff.net. I just find the PM-ing system clunky on ff. I'm not always as prompt answering as I'd like to be anymore, but I do make a commitment to always answer eventually. It's just that, if you've ever looked at it, you'll know that my comment section is something to behold. I tend to get a lot of "long" comments on my stuff, so I also leave very long responses in return, which take a while to get to/write. This being said, I love debating/chatting/commiserating with my readers and have made some fantastic friends through my AO3 comment section. I basically live for people's long comments lol. I just wish I had more time to get to them quicker haha.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't know, maybe my most recent one, I suppose? Or horses made of sticks? I tend to get very dark and angsty throughout my works, but always end on a brighter note. Those two are about death/loss though and there's a permanency to it that you can't really avoid.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I mean, that fic's a 143-thousand-words journey but probably children. I like where it ends. It's a good place.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Never have. I might one day but it just sounds like a lot of effort.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Everyone has I think. The best one though was someone on castles who wrote "first learn when spring season starts and ends before writing a story about it. what a joke." I'm still baffled by it cause, like, May's in spring, isn't it?

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes and no. I have written sex, yes, aspects of it at least. There are two sort-of explicit sex scenes in children, and one very explicit one. This being said, I mostly concentrate on one specific detail while writing sex, and blur out the rest. A bit like the scene in which Harry pulls off the condom after having sex with Mia in castles. The latest chapter of castles is also obviously very explicit, but it's not really writing "sex" as such. I write smut when it shows something, when it has a point. I don't write smut for the sake of smut but if explicit sex has a place/point in a story then I do write it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Not that I have ever checked either though, lol.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. I'd love to though!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I've beta-ed but not co-written.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

It's funny cause I definitely write romance, but I don't consider myself a "shippy" person. I fluctuate, I'm mostly interested in storylines/characters, rather than ships themselves. A bit like sex, I think romance is an element of life. But, if I had to choose one and because I've written 143k words about them, I think I'll say Martha/Clive on silk.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The TGW Will-lives AU. There's 20k words of it somewhere on my hard drive but honestly, doubt I'll ever write it.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm very character-based, whatever that means. I've been told I'm good with dialogue. Very "vivid". I honestly don't know but if there's something you really like about my style, by all means, tell me haha.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I could edit myself into the ground. I have to limit the number of editing runs I do on things or else after a while I start obsessing over each and every word and the quality actually goes down. I've been known to delete a lot of things and regret it afterwards. I think if I ever wrote a book you'd find me in bookshops picking it up and correcting the copies after it's been published haha.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Very tricky. I did it a bit in ce ne sont que des cailloux but only in a language I actually speak.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Without a Trace. A 2000s procedural lol.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

My fave is always my latest one so far lol. Which is a good thing I suppose 'cause it means I'm enjoying what I'm writing and getting better? So, right this minute, it's listening for that angel choir, but it'll be something else soon haha.

Tagging @copper-dust and @whizzfizz if you haven't done this yet - not sure!

[1989dreamer]

FTH-2020-Seventy-Five Percent

For @fandomtrumpshate​‘s 2020 auction, big thanks to @evanesdust​ for bidding on me and for being so patient.

AO3 link

Summary: Stiles and Derek are roommates at college, and living together is going well considering Stiles is harboring the hugest crush on Derek. When Derek needs an emergency date to his sister's tenth anniversary dinner, Stiles agrees. He doesn't expect it to get messy. He's kept his feelings in check for three and a half years. Spoiler alert: it gets really messy.

From this prompt. “We’re fake-dating and I’m supposed to publicly break up with you but you’ve been irritating me lately so instead of dumping you I publicly proposed to mess up your plan and now we’re getting married, fuck” au.

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Fake Dating, Pining/Mutual Pining, Minor Misunderstanding, Human AU (full tags can be found on AO3).

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“I need a date,” Derek says apropos of nothing, and Stiles carefully sets down his brush, leans across the aisle, and stares at his friend. Derek flushes. “I mean,” he all but spits out between gritted teeth, “that my sister is having her tenth anniversary dinner, and I am the only single one in the family. If I don’t have a date, I’ll spend the whole time being accosted by my relatives.”

“And that’s my problem how?”Stiles asks. He goes back to his painting. The life model flexes just a tiny bit, and Stiles rolls his eyes at him.

“It’s your problem now because I will pay you to come with me,” Derek says, an undercurrent of threat in his voice. Or tears. Could be tears. Derek sounds mad when he’s about to cry sometimes.

Stiles sets his brush down again. Of course Derek would hit him where it hurts the most. All of Stiles’ meager earnings from his part-time job go toward keeping his Jeep running so that he can make the trek back up north to visit his dad when he’s on break from school.

“How much?” he demands, hating himself for being this easy.

Derek looks relieved. It’s a good look for him. Although, Derek looking good is any day of the week. “Thanks. Like three hundred for the day of? Maybe fifty for each additional thing that comes up?”

“And how often will things come up?”

Derek shrugs. “Maybe once or twice. I’m sure at least some of my family will want to call you to make sure that you’re real.”

Stiles claps a hand to his chest. “You haven’t told them about me?” he asks, pretending to be scandalized.

It’s Derek’s turn to roll his eyes. “I have told them about you, but in the context that you’re my best friend at college and we live on opposite sides of the state.”

“So they don’t think I’m real?” Stiles asks, not sure if he should be insulted or not.

“The most common thing I’m asked about you is ‘What is a Stiles?’” Derek grins, private and sort of cheery. “I’ve kind of stopped referring to you by name now. Just easier that way.”

“Hardy har har.” Stiles pokes Derek. To be completely fair, their freshman year, when Stiles would go home, he’d complain to his dad about his unfairly attractive, selfish, loud, attractive roommate. His dad had been convinced that Derek didn’t exist until he met him when Stiles was emptying his dorm room.

Now he and Derek have an apartment off campus, and Dad keeps trying to get Stiles to invite Derek to Beacon Hills because he claims he should at least get to intimidate his son’s future husband before their wedding.

Never mind that Derek has never even been seen with any dates, much less given Stiles any hope that he could possibly have a chance with him.

Until now. Except not really, because Derek just needs a pretend boyfriend, not an actual boyfriend.

“Why me?” Stiles asks, squinting suspiciously at Derek as he tries and fails to draw the absolute lounge of the life model. Stiles is recommending that Isaac never model again. It’s too much ego and not enough clothes, although Isaac did keep his scarf draped artfully around his neck when he dropped trou. “Why not Boyd or Erica? I’m sure either of them would be pleased to play Derek Hale’s date for a night.”

Derek shakes his head. “Both of them have already met my family. And so has Isaac. We were all friends in high school. You’re the only one I talk about regularly. It’d seem too weird if you weren’t the guy I was secretly pining after all these years.”

Stiles intensifies his squint. “Am I?” he asks bluntly.

“Are you what?” Derek refuses to make eye contact, making quick lines with his charcoal across his drawing of Isaac.

“Am I the guy you secretly pine after?”

“No…?”

Stiles throws his brush at Derek, not even a little sorry when it smacks against his chest and Derek complains that he’s wearing his favorite shirt. It’s not his favorite shirt. Stiles stole that a year ago and has yet to return it.

He’s a bit of a stalker. It’s a habit he’s trying to break. He will break. When he and Derek have graduated and gone their separate ways. When all they’ll be in a few years is the occasional drinking buddy, living too far to justify visiting more than once every couple years, work and life getting in the way of their friendship.

Stiles shakes himself. “So don’t make it a question.”

Derek sighs in defeat, handing Stiles his brush back. “Look, Laura already thinks that you’re my secret boyfriend.”

“I thought they thought I didn’t exist,” Stiles says, bitterly. He takes the brush and lays it down, turning to face Derek. Then he gives Derek a tissue to at least wipe off most of the paint. Too bad it’s oil and will stain.

“Laura helped me move in this year. She saw you and your dad from a distance and I pointed you out.”

Stiles narrows his eyes. “I could have met your sister?”

Derek squirms. “Yes?” he hedges. “But she was asking all these weird questions like our first kiss, where we go on dates, if we’ve gone all the way yet. I didn’t want you to deal with that, so I distracted her until she had to leave.”

“So I get to meet her now?”

Derek nods. “It is her anniversary after all.”

“Cool.”

Then Stiles ignores Derek in favor of finishing as much of his painting as he can before class lets out.

                                                                                                                     ~ * ~

Lunch is leftover chili with homemade cornbread that Derek made earlier. Stiles taps a pen on some paper, thinking over all the things he knows he should put into a contract of sorts for his and Derek’s arrangement.

Stuff like pet names, PDA, just what they’ve “done” as a couple, how long they’ve been dating, and just how long they are supposed to be together before they break up.

Derek sees the list, scratches out pet names—“Trauma,” he mutters as explanation—and adds the terms of payment as well. He also writes down that the breakup should be public so that Derek can take time to “recover” without his family breathing down his neck.

Overall, there’s nothing really objectionable to pretending to date Derek aside from the fact that Stiles would much rather actually date Derek, but how to tell your presumably-straight roommate that you wanna suck his dick and kiss his lips?

Derek gathers the dishes and starts washing them. “Hey, so, my lab is today, so I’ll see you after 5:00. We can talk more when I get home.”

“Sure thing.” Stiles has to run himself or he’d stay and watch Derek clean up. It’s almost like a dance when Derek really gets into it. Stiles likes to park his butt on the couch and watch him while he pretends to do his homework. If Derek’s lab runs late, it explains why he’s cleaning now. Which means that not only will Stiles miss it because he needs to go to class, but it will be his turn to cook and clean tomorrow.

Ugh.

Stiles had considered Derek selfish freshman year because Derek hadn’t known how to share a room. He’s not sure why though, it’s not like they were each other’s first roommates either. Now Stiles feels selfish because he doesn’t mind cooking or doing chores but he had enough of that at home and was hoping to relax at college.

“Hey, see you tonight?” he asks, Derek waves in response.

Stiles goes to class, the pit of his stomach rebelling with every step. Why are things different now? Derek doesn’t want to date Stiles. He just wants to get his family off his back.

Concentration is out the window, so Stiles just spends all his class time thinking up the various scenarios that his and Derek’s plot could go so, so sideways.

By the time he makes it back to an empty and sparkling apartment, he’s nearer to a panic attack than he has ever been in the last three years including the whole fiasco with his first roommate during freshman year.

Stiles goes to wash his face, hoping that the cold shocks his system enough for him to stave off the attack, but Derek finds him there a few hours later, and Stiles has no memory of it.

Derek gentles him through the remainder of his attack, sets him up on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate and his favorite movie, and then just sits in silence while Stiles tries to process the fact that he just had a goddamn panic attack over pretend dating his roommate.

After another movie, Derek moves onto the couch, letting Stiles snuggle into his side.

“All good?” he asks.

Stiles shakes his head. “I will be though.” He waits for a few minutes, long enough for Derek to lean against him and start drowsing. “Tell me about your family.”

Derek yawns. “Well, you know Laura, the one who’s celebrating. She’s older than me, by like a million years. Made her insufferable growing up. And then there’s Cora, who’s about four years younger than me. We were rivals growing up. Every crush I had, she had too. And she’s kissed about half of them. I have a couple older brothers who are even older than Laura and even more insufferable, but in the way that us younger Hales are the dirt under their shoes. Especially my youngest sister. She’s the baby of the family and the most normal. But I guess it’s because my parents were tired when they got around to raising her.”

“Hmm, so many Hales to meet.” Stiles’ heart beats extra hard at that. Not only does he have to pretend to date Derek, but he has to pretend to date Derek in front of—Stiles counts on his fingers—seven Hales that aren’t Derek. Five sibling Hales and two parent Hales.

“And my uncle Peter,” Derek adds, drowsily. “He’s a dickhead. He’s also as old as my brothers but he was far more invested in causing drama with the younger Hales.”

“Laura too?”

Derek nods. “Laura especially. He almost wasn’t invited to her wedding. I will be very surprised if he doesn’t do something that gets him kicked out of her anniversary dinner.”

“And you want me to meet them?”

“Well,” Derek hedges, and that hurts so much and so viscerally that Stiles climbs off the couch and goes to the kitchen to pretend to drink a glass of water from the tap. Derek follows him after a minute. “Look, it’s not that I don’t want you to meet them. You’re my best friend. It’s just that they don’t have the greatest track record with people I bring home.”

“What, like I’m not good enough for you?” Stiles fans the flare of anger growing in his chest. Anything but another panic attack is preferred.

Derek sighs. “It’s a dumb test. I think everyone goes through it, but I don’t know because I don’t participate. I mean, it’s dumb to make your sister’s boyfriend hate her family when before he wanted to be with her, right? It’s like we’re trying to scare them off.”

“So like they’re not good enough for the family,” Stiles repeats.

Derek’s shoulders fall. “I guess. I always hated it, so I wouldn’t bring anyone home so that they couldn’t do that to them.”

“Partners,” Stiles points out.

“What?”

“You said ‘sister’s boyfriend,’ so this assholery only happens with potential partners. Is that it?”

Derek frowns at him before nodding, understanding dawning on his face. “Yeah. That’s it.”

“So, I’ve never met your family because…?”

The absolute look of panic that flashes across Derek’s face is in parts thrilling and heartbreaking to see.

“I understand,” Stiles says. “Well, it just means that I truly am the right choice of friend to take home to mother.”

Derek barks out a strangled laugh. “Yeah, sure. Please don’t call my mom ‘Mother.’ It makes her unreasonably angry. I think she thinks it makes her sound old. I think she sounds older when my nieces and nephews call her grandma.”

“How many nieces and nephews do you have?” Stiles asks, suddenly, acutely aware of just how much he doesn’t know about Derek. It makes him feel like a chronic over sharer and like Derek doesn’t fully trust him.

Derek shrugs. “I think Laura has three kids and my brothers each have two, but that was last Christmas so they could all have more on the way. I have five nieces and two nephews that I know of.”

“And we’re driving down to Chula Vista, right?”

Derek looks relieved, grabbing at Stiles’ floatation device of a conversation change. “Yeah, yes! Definitely. I mean, it’s about seven hours. We could take a flight down, it’d probably be quicker, but more expensive. And besides, this means that we can leave whenever either of us want to.”

“Yeah, how’s that going to work?” Stiles points, and they head back to the couch. Derek sits, angled so that his knee is brushing Stiles’. “Do I just say, ‘Laura insulted me, I want to go back to college now’?”

“Absolutely yes. If any of my family makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, let me know, and we’ll leave as soon as possible.”

It’s a nice reassurance, and Stiles hopes to assuage all his fears as easily, so he and Derek spend the rest of the night, until Derek falls asleep, discussing the finer matters of how to “date” a Hale.

                                                                                                                    ~ * ~

The rest of the week until Derek’s sister’s tenth anniversary dinner blurs by. Lots of packing for what is essentially just a day and a half, getting Boyd to agree to look in on the apartment even though they have no pets or plants that require sitting, and arguing over whose car they’re taking. In the end, Derek agrees to allow Stiles to drive his Camaro for a short stint, and they depart, happily, on Friday after classes.

The drive is uneventful, even when Derek oversleeps the first leg and Stiles ends up driving two thirds of the way to their destination. Derek doesn’t even grump about it, just smiles dopily until he notices Stiles looking at him, and then he steps on the gas.

They pull into the drive of an enormous house at about 11:00 pm. The whole house is lit up. Stiles snorts awake to stare at it.

“That’s your house?” he squeaks.

Derek shifts, uncomfortable. “My parents’ house,” he says. “They’re rich. I’m not.”

“It’s a big house.”

“Yeah. That’s because my uncle and his family live with them, and I think Cora still lives at home and so does Laura and her family.”

“And you? Are you going to live at home when we graduate come spring?”

Derek doesn’t answer. Instead, he opens his door, shuts off the engine, and pops the trunk.

Almost immediately, the door opens and a very pregnant woman waddles out to stare at them, her hands fisted on her hips. The light from the porch illuminates her perfectly.

Derek hands Stiles his suitcase and then starts up the stairs. When he reaches the woman, he takes a step back.

“Cora?”

“Yeah, dumbass. Who else would it be?”

“But aren’t you dating what’s-her-name?”

“Lydia, and yes. We decided we would use sperm donors.” Cora rolls her eyes. “You would know all this if you talked to us more than just at the holidays.”

Chastised, Derek ducks his head. “Sorry.”

Stiles thinks it’s been awkward long enough, so he sticks out his hand. “Stiles Stilinski. Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Hale.”

“What kind of a name is Stiles?” Cora asks.

Derek clears his throat. “He’s my boyfriend. And Stiles is a nickname.”

Cora gives Derek a flat look. “Your boyfriend?”

Derek nods. He looks so nervous. He hasn’t looked this nervous since he and Stiles were paired together after the first rooming fiasco.

“Well,” Cora eyes Stiles with a disapproving glare, “I guess you’d better come in and meet the rest of the family. The ones that are awake anyway. Be extra quiet: the kids are asleep.”

Inside is just as opulent as the outside, perhaps more because inside is completely lit up and doesn’t have to battle the darkness of night.

There are portraits of what must be the Hales and their families everywhere, tasteful crystal décor, and polished marble floors.

It’s very austere, and Stiles understands why Derek said his parents were rich but not him. Stiles has seen how Derek chooses to decorate, and it’s in warm tones with soft surfaces and very limited bits of chrome.

Twin sweeping staircases stand guard at the end of the foyer, leading up to what presumably is more austere marble and crystal, severe lines of cold.

Two handsome people, the woman is an elgant black gown, the man in a black suit, Windsor knot in his silver tie, stand in front of the staircases. Cora stops next to them, says something lowly, and then heads upstairs. Nervously, Stiles clings to his suitcase and follows as Derek walks, spine straight, face blank, toward what must be his parents.

His mother lifts her head, and Derek stops in his tracks.

“Wonderful of you to join us, Derek,” she says, like she’s a queen surveying her subjects and finding them very lacking. Stiles had thought his clothing, a dark t-shirt covered with an open blue flannel shirt and khakis, was fine in Berkeley. Here, it’s completely out of place. Derek’s outfit of a maroon shirt and dark slacks looks a little less out of place, but far too casual for this foyer.

“Mom, Dad,” Derek returns, and it is so incongruous with the image they’re presenting that Stiles has to stifle a hysterical laugh.

After a few more moments, Derek’s parents break, and smiling, they all but run to Derek and hug him at the same time. Derek’s father disentangles himself first, turning to Stiles and offering his hand for a shake.

“So this is the man who’s caught our little Derek’s heart?”

Derek flushes at his father’s words, but he doesn’t disagree.

Mr. Hale grins, using Stiles’ hand to tug him into a quick hug. “Welcome to the family, Stiles.”

“Uh, thanks?” Stiles doesn’t wriggle free, but it’s a near thing. Derek must realize how out of place he’s feeling, still reeling from the complete change in demeanor, because he laces his fingers through Stiles’, grounding him.

Talia nods at their hands. “And how is the relationship? Single rooms?”

Stiles coughs to cover another laugh. He and Derek share a bedroom in their apartment—it was cheaper than two bedrooms—so they should be okay sharing a room. A bed might be another matter, but they’ve been living together at college, so if they’re dating, they should already be comfortable with seeing each other naked, having morning erections around each other, and all those other embarrassing things no one ever talks about happening when people start having sex with each other.

Derek blushes. “It’s a little new, the relationship, but it’s strong. We can be trusted to be in the same room.”

“It’s late,” Derek’s father says. “Let’s get you boys settled, and then we can all talk tomorrow.” He looks at Derek with kindness in his eyes. “I can’t wait to hear what you’ve been up to.”

The room he and Derek are deposited into is medium sized. Stiles would have thought all rooms in the house would be enormous. Derek watches him studying it before explaining, “I went through a phase where I didn’t want anything from my parents, so they moved me in here. It used to be a closet, but it was the smallest they were willing to let me be without me moving out.”

“How old were you?”

Derek shrugs. “I was ten.” He frowns at Stiles’ sudden chuckle. “I was very self-righteous. I thought we were bad because we were rich and I didn’t want to be.” Quieter, he adds, “I was very bullied in school.”

“So was I,” Stiles reveals. “I always pretended that it didn’t bother me, but it did. It’s why I chose Berkeley. Close enough to go home to see my dad, but far enough away that I didn’t have to see my tormentors again.”

“I’m glad we found each other,” Derek says. He points at his bed, a single twin. “You can have the bed. I’ve got an inflatable mattress around here somewhere. I can get that blown up and sleep on that.”

Stiles is too tired to argue. It’s only a little after 11:00 pm, but they’ve been driving for most of the day, and he just feels under stimulated and uninterested in anything except brushing the gnarly taste of garlic pretzels out of his mouth and collapsing into a deep, refreshing sleep.

“Bathroom?”

Derek points down the hall, and Stiles takes his travel bag with him. He’s not sure what he’s expecting when he opens the door, but it certainly isn’t a soft coral pink bathroom with matching rugs, toilet cover, and shower curtain. It’s hideous. Stiles loves it.

Everything was getting a little too marble for his liking. This shows a human side to the Hales.

Because he’s Stiles, he snoops a little. Finds magazines in a holder on top of the toilet. Gross. Finds extra soaps and feminine products hidden in the cabinet under the sink. Cool. Other spare products and towels are kept behind a closed door. Good.

Overall, the bathroom passes muster enough that he feels comfortable scrubbing his teeth clean, scraping his tongue, and washing all evidence down the rose quartz-colored sink.

Derek comes in before Stiles finishes drying his hands on the fluffy, rose-scented towel.

He does a double-take at the room, digs under the sink for a little while, and stands up. “We’d better leave no evidence that we were ever here,” he says, ominously. “The bathroom’s been redone since I was last here at Christmas. I think that means, especially because her favorite color is pink, that this bathroom is Lydia’s and we shouldn’t ever be caught in here.”

“How unhygienic,” Stiles replies, pointing at the magazines. Derek claps a hand over his mouth to stifle the sudden bark of laughter.

“I agree. But honestly, it’s probably a lot more hygienic than your phone.”

Stiles bumps shoulders and then heads back to the room. Derek has indeed found and inflated an air mattress. Stiles crawls onto it to test the bounce, and oh, there’s his pillow. For some reason it’s on Derek’s bed. He grabs it, tucks it under his head, and just like that, out like a light.

                                                                                                                    ~ * ~

Stiles wakes up to a warm body next to his, someone’s leg wound around his, someone’s head on his shoulder. He blinks up at the ceiling, watching as the sunrise fills the room with a lovely, rosy glow.

Then he remembers where he is and what’s supposed to be going on and sits up, arms flailing as he tries to dislodge himself from a very deeply asleep Derek.

He hears a clicking sound, and his head snaps around to find an elegant strawberry blonde in very tight blue wrap dress aiming a phone at him.

“Whasit?” he grumbles, glad that both he and Derek apparently decided to sleep in their clothes. Usually, they’re both strip down to boxers kind of guys. It makes it hard for Stiles to sleep sometimes when he just really wants to lick Derek’s abs or jerk off over him. And apparently there goes his morning wood.

“It’s just payback,” the strawberry blonde says, loud even though it’s obviously early. Derek jerks awake, snorting, and gasping like someone doused him with cold water.

It doesn’t help Stiles’ inappropriate boner at all.

“Payback for what?” Stiles asks. He’s never met this woman. Why does she need payback?

“Oh hey, Lydia,” Derek says, gruff. Sexy morning voice alert. “What brings you to our room today?”

“Someone used my bathroom.”

“Didn’t used to be your bathroom,” Derek responds. He turns to Stiles. “Stiles, this is Cora’s fiancée, Lydia. Lydia, this is my boyfriend, Stiles.”

“Hmm, so he is real,” Lydia remarks. She snaps another picture, says, “Stay out of my bathroom or I’ll expose your sleeping arrangements to Mom and Dad.”

Derek yawns, lazily slipping an arm around Stiles’ shoulders and using the lax grip to tug him back down. “Mom and Dad already know we’re sharing a room. It stands to reason that we’re comfortable sharing a bed too. After all, we’ve been living together for almost four years now.”

Lydia huffs and flounces out of the room, but Stiles saw on her face; she lost and she knew it. And she didn’t mind.

Derek adjusts his grip, nuzzles into Stiles’ neck again. “Hope this is okay?” he murmurs.

Stiles swallows hard. “Yeah,” he grits out. “This is perfect.”

Still, Derek rolls away from him. “I’m going to get up now. It’s the perfect time for a quick run. There’s a bathroom down stairs, third door on the left. Ask my mom or dad if you can’t find it. Don’t trust anything Lydia or Cora tell you.”

He grabs a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from his suitcase and heads out.

Stiles flops back on the bed, wondering if he’d done something wrong. Derek’s leaving feels like dismissal and Stiles isn’t sure if it’s because he was being a little too enthusiastic, i.e. the boner, or not enthusiastic enough.

It feels horrible, like a pit is growing in Stiles’ stomach, and he realizes that he won’t be able to maintain the charade of being Derek’s boyfriend without someone on his side.

But he’s in Chula Vista, not Beacon Hills. His dad is a whole ten hours away, and Stiles hadn’t realized that he only has one friend in the whole world.

How Derek is more sociable than him, he doesn’t know. All he knows is that if he doesn’t spill to someone, he’s going to break down, and the public breakup won’t be public nor a breakup.

He’s sort of saved when Cora knocks on the door and comes in before he can do more than say, “Yeah?”

“I just wanted to apologize for Lydia,” Cora says. She sits on the bed, cradling her stomach. “Mom and Dad are humoring her because her parents just got divorced and she’s not taking it well.”

Stiles studies her. “You weren’t this nice last night,” he says, hoping that she isn’t offended. When she throws her head back and laughs, he lets out a little sigh of relief.

“No. I’m not a night person.” She rubs at her stomach, catches herself, and sits on her hands. “Look, the baby likes to tap dance on my bladder, and whoever said morning sickness was only morning or just in the first trimester lied their fucking head off. I was startled when Derek brought you home. He’s been talking about his roommate nonstop. I actually thought you were dating before now, but he never said your name, always claimed we’d think you were imaginary if he did that.”

“I get it,” Stiles says. “Whenever someone stumbles over my real name, I tell them I go by Stiles, and every time, I get, ‘What kind of a name is Stiles?’ instead of ‘Cool, something easier to say.’ It’s discouraging.”

Cora’s hand comes up to pat at her belly, and she frowns down at it. “I swear I’m not usually this tactile.”

“It’s okay. It’s your body. Hormones and all.”

“Tell me why you decided to date my brother. Did he finally get his head out of his ass and ask you?”

Stiles coughs. “Uh, sort of?” He winces. “I mean, yeah, he finally asked and we made it official, but I mean, I haven’t dated anyone since high school, and Derek’s never been with anyone else as far as I know.”

“That’s it exactly.” Cora points at Stiles and he looks down at himself. He’s not bad looking—if his dad can be trusted—and he’s been making more of an effort with even his casual clothes since he and Derek began living together. “Derek doesn’t date. So why you? No offense.”

“Some taken,” Stiles replies. He shrugs at her. “I don’t know why.”

“Oh, I think you do.” Cora hauls herself up, shakes her head, and sinks back to the bed. She pats next to her, and Stiles hesitantly joins her.

She leans in close. “So, how much is he paying you?”

“Wh-what?”

Cora has a gleam in her eyes that makes Stiles entirely uncomfortable to be trapped here with her. “I’m guessing that you and he aren’t really dating, but since it’s Laura’s tenth wedding anniversary this weekend, he doesn’t want to be bothered by the copious aunts and grand-aunts that like to pinch his cheeks and ask when he’s bringing home his bride. Ergo, you, because my brother may be many things, a coward, spineless, and utterly useless at getting dates, but he does have a soft spot for you.”

Stiles stands up. “Derek isn’t spineless or a coward,” he says, angry at her. “Why would you even say that? Do you even know your brother? He was terrified to come to college. I don’t know why. He hasn’t shared that with me yet. But when I needed a roommate after my first roommate turned out to be the biggest bastard on campus, he stepped up. We’ve been friends since. It was a natural progression of our relationship because, yeah, we fell in love with each other.”

Cora grabs his wrist. “Don’t leave. Not yet. I’m sorry.” She tugs, and he sits. He’s breathing hard, heart beating a little too fast. He doesn’t know why he got so angry except for the fact that he knows the true Derek, the one who likes cooking and cleaning and studying microbiology and taking life art with Stiles just so he’d know someone in the class.

Cora takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry I said that about Derek. I just needed to know.”

“Know what?”

“That you love him too.”

Stiles blinks. Derek doesn’t love him. Not like that.

“I can see that you don’t believe me, but it’s true. Derek loves you. He won’t admit it but it’s in his voice when he talks about you. It’s in the way he won’t let anyone call you imaginary but also won’t reveal your name, because he’s trying to protect you. I don’t know. I do know my brother, and I know that he loves you, and you love him too.”

Stiles doesn’t even know where the tears come from, but he finds himself sobbing on Cora’s shoulder as he confesses that Derek did actually hire him precisely for what Cora accused.

She listens patiently.

Then. “You’re both the biggest idiots.” She throws a roll of toilet paper at him. “Kleenexes get a little rough on the nose when you’re prone to hysterical fits,” she explains to his raised eyebrow. “Quadruple ply is a Godsend.”

Once he’s dried his face and blown his nose, Cora takes his hand again. “Look, I get it. I do. Our family can be overbearing. It was hell keeping them off Lydia’s and my backs long enough to have the discussion about children. And we’re not even married yet. But trust me on this: Derek does love you.”

“So how do I get him to ask me?” Stiles asks. “I mean, after all this. We’re supposed to have a public breakup after this weekend.”

Cora laughs. “Mom and Dad are going to be so pissed they let you sleep in the same room if you do that.”

“I’m serious. I’m supposed to break up with Derek so that he can, I don’t know, save face with his family. I guess because they’ll never see me again.”

She nods. “Makes sense.” She tilts her head, chewing on her lip. “Okay, I’ve got it: instead of breaking up with him, you propose to him. Confuse him. If he really likes you, he’ll probably say yes, and you can be engaged for however long you like. If he still wants to break up with you, then he can’t do it without a little shit sticking to him.

“Oh, I know! You can do it when we go to the mall!” To Stiles’ confused face, she explains, “It’s a tradition to do a scavenger hunt in the mall after a celebration. After we celebrate Laura’s anniversary, we’re going to the mall. It’ll be the perfect place to propose. Or breakup.Whichever it ends up being.”

“One problem: how am I supposed to live with Derek if he says no?”

Cora shrugs. “I don’t think he will, but you could make him move out if he does.”

“Another problem,” Stiles says. Cora rolls her eyes. “I don’t have a ring. I don’t even know Derek’s ring size.”

“That’s easy enough. I have everyone’s ring sizes. I’m the official jewelry expert in the family. That’s why.” Stiles nods. The Hales are so weird, but he finds it endearing. He supposes the Stilinskis would be just as weird to the Hales with their traditions. “Anyway, I’ve got the perfect ring for you to use.” She struggles up and then waddles toward a room three doors down the hall from Derek’s closet room. Stiles waits for her at the door. When she comes back, she tosses a small black box at him.

He flips it open and stares down at the silver band set with a single black cubic zirconium stone. Cora’s right, it’s perfect. It’s neutral enough to go with Derek’s wardrobe full of warm tones and dark pants, but also enough of a statement to bring attention to the fact that he’s wearing an engagement ring. Classy but not overstated.

Derek does have a few bright shirts mixed in, but he doesn’t wear them anywhere but around the apartment. Stiles thinks it’s because they’re gifts from him and Derek likes how soft they are. It makes Stiles unreasonably happy whenever he catches Derek wearing one of them.

“Are you positive he’ll say yes?” Stiles asks. He really doesn’t want to destroy his and Derek’s relationship. Although, he has a feeling that they’re already way past that.

“About seventy-five percent,” Cora says, and because they’re at her room, she shuts the door in his face before he can complain about those odds.

Stiles wanders back to Derek’s room. He keeps staring at the ring. It’s too soon to propose, right?

They’ve only just started dating, right?

They’re not really dating. It won’t be a real proposal. Right?

He closes the box and hides it in his pillow. Then, he grabs a change of clothes and his travel bag and heads to the downstairs bathroom for a quick shower.

                                                                                                                    ~ * ~

Over the course of the day, Stiles is introduced to far more people than he ever expected to meet, and is frankly exhausted by the time they all pile into vehicles, he and Derek riding with Derek’s frankly frightening Uncle Peter and his partner, Freddie, to go to the restaurant.

The ring box is secure in his pocket, and he does his best not to touch it, aware that as the “new” significant other, he’s being subjected to a lot of interrogations, hugs, and all around suspicion. Through it all, Derek stays by his side, directing him away from the more prying of the aunts, or having him hide in an empty room until someone can make an announcement that makes Derek’s boyfriend seem like old news.

Finally though, they all sit at six tables pushed together, a buffet against the back wall of the room. The restaurant is owned by a pair of great aunts who insist on Derek and Stiles sitting next to them so they can gossip about the changes at California University-Berkeley.

“You know, Marsha was a co-founder of the first LGBTQ organization,” the more wizened one states. “How’d that go for you, dear?”

Marsha rolls up her sleeve to show off a large scar. “Thirty stitches and an expulsion.” She winks at Stiles. “And I’d do it all over again because it’s how I met the love of my life.”

He smiles politely. “I’m glad times have changed,” he says. “I don’t think I could scar as neat as that.”

“Well, that’s Diana’s doing. Such steady hands even as she berated me for putting my life in danger.” Marsha sighs wistfully. “Some things don’t change.” With sharp eyes, she pokes at Stiles’ soul, and he shudders at the sensation of being seen and known. “You may think you’re not scarred, but you are.” She turns to Derek. “Make sure you treasure this boy, eh?”

Derek nods almost frantically. He grabs Stiles’ and his aunts’ glasses. “Refills?”

“How long have you been together?” Marsha asks, and Stiles knows he should stick to the script he and Derek came up with, but he can’t. So, he leans in, like he’s telling a big secret, and whispers, “Three and a half years.”

Diana whacks at Marsha’s shoulder. “That means they’ve been steady since they met,” she excitedly exclaims. Stiles flushes at the sudden eyes on their end of the table.

“What I meant,” he stutters out, under the heavy, heavy gaze of, like, a million Hales, “is that we’ve been dancing around each other for years. We’ve only just decided to make it official.”

Derek plops down the glasses. “Don’t scare him,” he chastises his aunts, and by extension, all the nosy, nosy relatives. “I actually happen to love him, and I’d appreciate not having to find him again when you all chase him away.”

As if practiced, all the Hales go back to their own plates and conversation.

Stiles leans into Derek, gratefully sipping at his Sprite. Derek leans back a little, and they balance nicely. Until Stiles remembers what he’s planning to do during the after-dinner excursion. Then, he just sits there while Derek chats amicably, offers to refill Stiles’ plate, and almost holds his hand whenever he gets up from the table.

After the meal, Peter and Freddie give them a ride to the mall. Surprisingly, Peter hadn’t done anything to get kicked out, like Derek had predicted. Stiles thinks it’s because whenever Peter opened his mouth, Freddie squeezed his leg. Someday, Stiles thinks, if things work out, he and Derek could be like that, communicating with just a touch.

At the mall, Laura and her husband, Jordan, hand out a sheet of paper with things to find, and the Hales disperse, a literal army of at least thirty people, led by Marsha and Diana on their motorized wheelchairs.

Stiles allows Derek to hold his hand as they follow along more sedately. Stiles isn’t going to participate in the scavenger hunt, too nervous and afraid that if he uses it as a distraction, he’ll forget why he’s really here.

They get to the second level, and Derek points out a few things on the list, but Stiles has had enough. He sees Cora and Lydia in the crowd and makes his way toward them. Cora catches his eye and nods.

Stiles takes a deep breath, drops Derek’s hand, and then kneels down before he can think about it.

Derek turns to see what’s up and claps his hands over his eyes, like that’s going to make Stiles stand up again.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. “Derek, love, can you look at me?”

Derek shakes his head. He’s blushing, hard. Probably because they’re in the middle of a crowd. Apparently neither of them quite care for the public spectacle. Good to know.

Stiles pulls out the ring box. He takes another deep breath, teetering on the edge of backing out and letting Derek think it was a prank.

Behind Derek, Cora and Lydia both stand, hands clasped together, staring wide-eyed. Cora knows it’s not fake, so why does she look so invested?

Faintly, Stiles hears someone say, “Go for it!” So he gathers his conviction and opens his mouth.

“Please open your eyes,” he says, softly. When Derek does, Stiles is surprised to see tears there. “Derek Hale, I love you. I know we haven’t been dating for very long, but I already know I want to marry you.” And suck your dick, but Stiles doesn’t say that out loud. There are children present for God’s sake. “We go together like two things that you wouldn’t think would be good, but then they end up being the perfect pair. And I don’t ever want to give that up. Please say yes?”

Derek is already nodding, his expression goes from obviously embarrassed to fond and soft, in a way Stiles is entirely unused to seeing from him, even after living together for most of three and a half years.

Behind Derek, Cora and Lydia begin jumping up and down, squealing. Startled, Derek glances back at them before quickly focusing on Stiles again. He helps pull him to his feet and then wordlessly extends his hand. Stiles slides the ring onto his finger. Cora was right about the size and about the style. It fits perfectly, and Derek smiles at it.

Something warm blooms in Stiles’ chest, and it’s because he put the ring and the smile on Derek.

And oh fuck. Oh fuck, he just proposed to Derek fucking Hale and has gotten a yes. Fuck seventy-five percent. Fuck being unsure if his love is unrequited. Stiles leaps into Derek’s arms and is met with a completely off-kilter, totally unbalanced, completely perfect imperfect mashing of lips and noses, and they tumble to the ground, Stiles on top.

Derek is laughing, patting at him, but he also isn’t saying get up.

That’s Lydia, tugging at them. “Do you know how many germs are on this floor?” she grouses, but despite the hard edge from this morning, she keeps smiling at them like she actually likes them.

The rest of the Hales appear suddenly—probably summoned by a text—and all of them, not a one of them looks angry, they all look happy, pleased, already singing congratulations.

Cora raises her phone to show them that she recorded it all, everything, including what was their first kiss.

Oh shit. He’s so fucked. But he’s so happy too.

Cora’s right that they can be engaged for however long they need. At least they are engaged.

                                                                                                                    ~ * ~

The rest of Saturday passes in a whirlwind, and Derek never stops smiling. The whole drive back to Berkeley on Sunday is spent in contented bliss, and when Derek isn’t driving, he just stares at the ring.

About an hour from their apartment, Derek pulls over, and Stiles jerks awake.

“What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Derek says, but Stiles can hear it in his voice. Something’s wrong.

“What’s wrong?” Stiles asks again, gentling his tone.

Derek takes off the ring and hands it to him. “Thanks for that. I really liked it.”

“Liked what?” Stiles stares at the ring. It looks wrong in his hand and not on Derek’s finger. It’s only been there about twenty-four hours. It shouldn’t look wrong, but it does. “Is this about the agreement?”

“Yeah.” Derek clears his throat, a clear sign that he’s about to start crying. He looks heartbroken. “The agreement. I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this.”

“Do what?” Stiles asks. He turns the ring over, grabs Derek’s hand, and slides it back on. “Your sister already told me that you’re in love with me. I’m in love with you. I proposed-proposed to you. If you really don’t want to marry me, at least wait until we’re home before you break my heart.”

Derek just stares at him.

Stiles waves his hand by his head. Maybe he’s just too tired of this damn charade that they never should have done. Maybe he just wants something for himself for once and he’s willing to fight for it. “I know, you told me don’t believe what Cora says, but she also said you talked about me incessantly ever since you met me. Dude, we’re in love with each other, and yes it sucks that it took making up this fake dating thing for us to realize it, but if you think that I’m going to just roll over and say, ‘Hey, that was great, let’s never do it again,’ then you’re sorely mistaken.”

Derek covers the ring with his other hand, watching as it peeks through his fingers. “You’re in love with me?”

Stiles feels like snapping, but doesn’t. “Yes.”

Derek nods. “Thanks. I-I love you too.” He puts the Camaro in drive.

The rest of the drive is spent in silence. Stiles doesn’t feel relief at things being in the open nor at the sight of the ring on Derek’s finger where it belongs.

Instead, he feels dread rising. Something is going to happen when they get back to their apartment, and it might just be the end of them. Stupid, stupid, they just confessed their feelings for each other. Things should be looking up, not down.

Derek parks and immediately goes to grab their suitcases from the trunk. Stiles heads up the stairs to unlock the front door.

“So, I want a redo,” Derek remarks suddenly, his tone forced into easy and cheery.

Stiles pauses where he’s unlocking the door. “Redo?”

Derek moves closer, shoves the suitcases aside, and brackets Stiles’ head with his hands. He leans in until their faces are just an inch apart. “A redo.” And he kisses Stiles, and even though the doubt is still there, warring in Stiles with the warmth of knowing he has Derek’s love, it gets a little smaller when he falls back against the door and Derek follows him in.

“I am gonna suck your cock so good,” he murmurs against Derek’s lips.

“Not if I suck yours first,” Derek returns.

And that is the story of how Stiles and Derek finally stopped pining and started boning.

Cora tells the story of how they got together at their wedding five years later, conveniently leaving out the part about being seventy-five percent sure that Derek was in love with Stiles, but Stiles forgives her because while she may have been only seventy-five percent sure, he and Derek are both one hundred percent in love and getting married.

~ The End ~

[mvnvgedmischief]

bad luck: chapter 2

do my best to ignore it

work summary: normalcy. remus lupin has always craved normalcy. so he keeps his life at home in wales, where he’s a normal muggle boy with normal muggle friends and normal muggle interests separate from his school life, of magic, mischief, and deception. the only thing allowed to cross the threshold? his skateboard. however, he tries desperately to hide it from his friends, for fear of his favorite, normal muggle interest being taken from him, his space being violated. too bad sirius black has shaken up his entire worldview, and he can’t keep his friends out forever.

chapter summary: remus is trying to keep skating a private affair, but failing spectacularly. three interactions in fourth year prove as much to him. he can’t seem to keep everything together. not like this. 

cw: internalized homophobia, slurs

2.7k words

read it on ao3

Remus was a forth year when everything caught up to him. His nights out of bounds had gotten wilder, and the first time he thought that skating would be taken from him, was when he woke up in the hospital wing outside of the bounds of the moon. He hadn’t even begun to explain himself when Madam Pomfrey pulled out his skateboard. 

“You’re lucky I don’t turn this over to Mister Filch, Remus.” She took on a tone that reminded him of his mom. All soft lilts in her voice, but with a sternness that reminded him that he had done something wrong, and was being subtly reprimanded for it. 

“Please,” He didn’t mean to sound so desperate, “i– please– there’s nothing in the rules about skating and I just need it. I have nothing fucking else, Madam Pomfrey, I just need some semblance of normalcy.” 

“I worried about your adjustment to being here. Albus said you’d be fine, but I can’t imagine it’s easy to keep a secret such as your own.” It was then that he was reminded of McGonnagal. It was in the way she sounded like she was teaching him something instead of punishing him for his actions. “But if I catch you unconscious and out of bounds again, I will not hesitate to turn it over, Master Lupin. You’ve got a long day of recovery ahead of you. I trust you’ll stay off of it until your concussion has fully healed.” 

He wanted to nod with fervor at that, but his head throbbed too badly. So instead he watched her put the board aside and out of view of anyone who came walking in. He was thankful for that, particularly when his merry band of comrades waltzed into the hospital wing. He doesn’t want to talk to them– he really doesn’t. Sure, they were nice to him. They found out about his secret and didn’t care. That had been kind of them, and he knew it. They could have told everyone. They could have turned their back on him, and gotten him expelled. But they didn’t. Instead, they had affectionately nicknamed him after it and had even named his secret. They called it his furry little problem. It was kind, he knew that. But he couldn’t fight the bile rising in his throat that he was in this hospital wing, not having Daniel pour water over his head until he woke up. He hated that he wasn’t at home in Gwynedd. He hated that he hadn’t been more careful. Because they could find out, and it would throw his balance off. It would change his entire center of gravity if they knew he was sneaking out of the dormitory to go skate. They might try to stop him, they might try to tag along, and at this point, Remus was unsure which would be worse. 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when Peter’s soft voice cuts through his panicked haze. “Moony, you’ve gotta stop ending up in the hospital wing.” 

“Yeah, at this rate people might think you’re in love with Poppy,” James added.

“I resent that,” Remus muttered, his eyes trained on a spot on the wall in front of him. He didn’t know why his chest had that same vice grip feeling like something was deeply wrong with the statement. But instead of saying anything, he did his best to shake it off. These were his friends after all. It was fine for friends to take the piss. He’d be fine. 

“What even happened Moony? Evans apparently found you on her morning rounds.”

“Yeah! My girl’s worried sick over you, Moons!” 

“Firstly, and I hate to be the one to break this to you, she’s not your girl.” Remus starts, trying to give himself the time to come up with some excuse. “I was walking around with the map last night, trying to finish it, and I tripped. Must’ve smacked my head pretty hard.” 

Sirius leered at him like he knew Remus wasn’t quite telling the truth, and for a split second, he panicked over the deck behind the bed, painted with the phases of the moon. Thre was no way they’d believe it belonged to anyone but him, and he knew it. 

“Mates, don’t you have a charms lesson you need to get to.” 

“Fuck.” And then the three boys are running off. Remus couldn’t be more thankful. Now he only had to have Poppy release him from the hospital wing, and he’d be home fucking free. But given that after they leave, the healer does not return, he realized he probably wasn’t going back his dormitory just yet. So instead he closes his heavy eyes, and begins to run through how he’s feeling. Why does his chest tighten when is mates mention dating birds. Sure, a few years ago when it began, he could justify it as being because of his age. But he was fourteen now, and it was getting less and less easy to use those same justifications. Why wasn’t he interested? He felt like he should be. His thoughts begin to travel, as they always do, to a particular pair of storm grey eyes, that seem to hold some secret deep within them. He recognizes it, because it’s a look he wears so well. And yet, he can’t push himself to think more about it— it scares him too much. So instead he thrashes a bit on the bed, trying to fall asleep. But sleep does not come to him, not that it ever has easily. Too often, he has a thrumming in his veins that he can only quell on concrete, too afraid of not getting away fast enough. What he needs to get away from remains to be seen. After all, he only has snippets of memories of Greyback. So when fiery red hair enters the periphery of his half lidded eyes, he immediately is put on the defensive. Sure, he liked Lily. But he didn’t know why she was here, nor what she wanted. They were friendly, but they weren’t really friends. 

“You gave me quite the fright this morning.”

“Good morning to you too, Evans.”

“Are you really so arrogant that you can’t wear a helmet, Lupin?” 

“What do I need a helmet for? I tripped.”

“You’re full of shite and you know it. I’m not stupid, Remus. You, of all people, should know that.”

He sighs in defeat. “Lils, please don’t tell anyone. I just— I wanna keep stuff like home and stress relief kind of off limits here.” There was no one Remus would dare trust more than Lily Evans. She was smart and loyal, and from their long hours in the library together, he knew she valued him as a friend. 

“Alright.” She sighs in return, a look of endearment across her face. It reminded him of Erika. Erika, who, just like Justin, has picked him up so many times after he fell. “One condition.”

“Alright, what's the condition?” He hoped, in vain, that the desperation wasn’t sinking into his voice. 

“Come get me when you wanna go for a late night stroll. Buddy system an’ all that. Someone’s gotta get help if you crack your head open again.”

“Fine, but breathe a word of this to James and you’re dead to me.”

This was a deal Remus could live with. Lily was a muggle. She understood.  The two didn’t mix. The closest they had ever gotten was a few odd letters exchanged between him and Daniel, or him and Justin, all of which involved questioning why his school didn’t have a bloody telephone. It was something he only spoke about with Lily Evans. Lily understood him in a way the other marauders often didn’t. She understood why he missed the comforts of home, the things that his friends probably never would. She accompanied him on late-night skates, because, according to her, he could get hurt, and then who would heal him so he didn’t wake up in the hospital wing. Lily tended to roast him for how much he kept in his pockets, and the fact that he would forgo any and all wizarding clothes, in favor of his soft trackies and a beanie. She told him so often, that he looked like a proper skater as if he wasn’t one already. Shee also tended to lay into him for his outright refusal to wear a helmet, but at this point, it had become quite endearing. She was a prefect, and she covered for him when he was out of bounds. It was nice, to have someone who understood. 

It was nice, up until she made him confront his feelings. “You skate when you’re trying to process your feelings.” It was a statement, not a question. As if she was informing him of something. That was different if you asked Remus. 

“And?”

“Just wondering what you’re processing.”

“None of your business, red.”

“C’mon, Remus. Enlighten me.”

“You can keep a secret?”

“I keep secrets for you all the time.”

“‘S about Sirius, who I know you don’t like.”

“Lay it on me.”

He takes a deep breath to steel himself against what he’s about to do. “I’m–“ i think i have a crush on him. coward. “worried about him. coping the way he does can’t be healthy.” 

“skating out of bounds every night for four weeks and making your mates repair a board you broke in a rage is also not healthy, Remus.”

“Sirius has a lot more emotional range than me. I have for moods, silent brooding, loud brooding, silent skating, loud skating.”

“skating isn’t a mood.”

“it is now.”

She looked at him like she knew something he didn’t, but the conversation was laid to rest. He wasn’t budging on this one. He was too afraid of it getting out. It wasn’t exactly like being bent was acceptable.

It was their fifth year when his friends started to catch on. He was fifteen when he stopped trying to keep his head down around them. He had spent the last four years sneaking out of the dorm and running off to blow off steam on his board. He knew he wasn’t really supposed to, he’d been caught by prefects more than once, but what else was he supposed to do? He needed some way to decompress when Snape was snooping around, whispering about the faggot in the marauders. Often times, that same rumor went around about Sirius, but the boy maintained a parade of girls in their year who were interested, and no one really believed it. People had no problem believing that the prefect who spent all his time sneaking around alone and had never had a girlfriend was bent. It was all mounting pressure. His mam was starting to get sick, his classes were so hard, his condition tore him up repeatedly, and he worried about the safety of the marauders. All of it felt like too much. He needed a way to relax when everything was off-kilter, and he missed the rough concrete against his hands when he fell, or the sound of his wheels spinning beneath his feet.  It wasn’t something to be ashamed of– he knew that. But he was surrounded by wizards. A particular three of whom didn’t understand the muggle world at all, let alone the niche interest of skate culture. And besides, skating was a safe space for him. It was a part of his life that he kept closed off, like how he spoke welsh exclusively at home, or how he never talked about his friends.

Remus also liked the freedom the map had afforded him, he could skate through the grounds and the halls, attempting trick after trick, as a way to get acquainted with the secrets of the castle. He could make sure no one was coming when he needed to. But on the night they found out, he had left the map behind, left Lily behind, in favor of some much needed alone time. He had been trying and failing to figure himself out. He wanted to know what it meant when his eyes caught the way Sirius’s bone structure in the dappled sunlight of their dorm. He wanted to know why he couldn’t look away. He wanted to know why every time Sirius flirted with Marlene it made him angry. He wanted to know why it felt like his stomach was fluttering every time Sirius opened his mouth. But he knew why. He knew this was how James talked about Lily, he recognized that he looked at Sirius the way Justin looked at his girlfriend Erika. He wanted to know why this had happened to him. He was trying to grind out his frustration in the grip tape, with the fervor of every pop shove-it landed and every heelflip that he primo’d or pushed too far. Why did he have to be the poof of the friend group?  It wasn’t until Sirius stepped into his way, and he slammed on the hard stone floor, that he realized he hadn’t been paying enough attention. 

“Moony! What the hell are you doing?” 

Frustration, resentment, irritation, and so much more began to bubble up within him. Here was Sirius, bloody beautiful Sirius, forcing him out of his groove, and injecting himself into Remus’s safe space. His alone time. “What the fuck does it look like?” Well, maybe he didn’t have to be so rude. Perhaps it was a genuine question, but Remus couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not when Sirius was staring at him

“It looks like you neglected to mention that you’re a bloody skateboarder. What the fuck, mate? I thought we weren’t doing secrets anymore. We became animagi for you Moony! How could you hold out on us with something so bloody cool?” 

Remus suppressed a cringe at the term skateboarder because it just wasn’t something people said. He knew it was some part of the skater in him that did so, with all of his lessons in skate etiquette (the dumb shit you need to know not to say was the name of that particular lesson) that had impressed this opinion on him. “It wasn’t a secret. It just isn’t something I mentioned. Besides, what’s it to you, Sirius?” 

A look of recognition passed over Sirius’s face, and Remus noticed the way his eyebrows furrowed as if he was growing cross. 

“Why are you being such a tosser, Remus? How’d you even learn this? I don’t know a single other wizard who owns a skateboard.” 

“You do know I had a life before you, before this smarmy, stuffy old place, before any of this shit. God, sometimes everyone here makes me just want to go!” 

And with that, he was off. He grabbed his board and ran, before jumping back on to get some much-needed air time. It was tiring to run from everything all the time. Remus couldn’t help it, of course. Not when he had so much to hide, with his friends constantly pulling pranks that only ever seemed to put his secrets on the line. This was something people could take away from him. He wasn’t willing to take the risk. The final weeks of the term came and went, with Remus not mentioning it a single time to Sirius. He wasn’t willing to talk about it, and he knew Sirius wasn’t going to bring it up until Remus decided they were done fighting.

He didn’t know that Sirius watched him leave, arms wrapped around himself in a self soothing position, and wishing he hadn’t put Remus in that position. He didn’t know that Sirius understood keep something tucked away because of a self preservation instinct. He didn’t know that Sirius resolved not to tell anyone while he was watching Remus, or that he thought it was fantastic that his moony had something that made him smile that wide. But it was okay that he didn’t know, because Sirius didn’t know how to tell him.

[panharmonium]

just some thinky thoughts about fandom platforms and community that i didn’t know what to do with, so i wrote them down.

[tl;dr - tumblr is weird, pan misses (certain aspects of) Ye Olde Days]

tumblr is such a weird platform.

like.  i love my blog as a personal repository of stuff i enjoy, and i’m definitely thrilled to have met the people i’ve met on here - some of them have even become my friends outside the internet, and that’s been absolutely lovely.  but in terms of actual functionality when it comes to trying to engage in a fandom...it’s still weird.

i know people will probably get tired of all the “BACK IN MY DAY” fandom analysis posts that float around on this website, but even having been here for years now, it is still really hard for me to adjust to a place that makes it so impossible to find any kind of actual fandom community spaces.

for me, i didn’t even start using tumblr until i was in my mid-twenties, and that was only because tumblr was where most people from LJ had migrated.  i’d been Doing Fandom for over a decade prior to that, on other platforms (fandom specific sites/archives and then LJ), so i ended up here kind of out of necessity - the great fandom migration was already mostly complete, by the time i moved.  

so i got here, and i got settled, but fandom on tumblr has been so different from fandom as i experienced it anywhere else, and that’s not the fault of any of its users; it’s just an inevitable function of the way this site is structured.

it is SO HARD for us to connect with people on here!

just, as an example from my own more recent life - i’ve been doing a lot of merlin stuff lately, right?  that’s where my head is at and that’s what i’m having the most fun with and i would love to be more interactive with people about it, like - to have folks to geek out with about it, you know, to do the things that fandom is for - and if i were on, say, livejournal, back in the day, i would know where to go to do those things.  there would be specific spaces built for just that purpose.  LJ comms were places where everybody who was interested in a particular thing could go for the express purpose of posting and discussing and interacting about that thing!  people still maintained their own personal blogs, but they also belonged to whichever LJ communities reflected their interests.  LJ comms and fandom-specific sites were fandom hubs - it was so easy to find what you were looking for.

this functionality doesn’t exist in any meaningful way on tumblr.  big, moderated groups/communities aren’t a thing tumblr truly supports.  there’s no way for me to go join the “merlin” comm and just be in community with a large group of people who just wanna talk about merlin.  the limited “group blog” functionality on tumblr is so non-conducive to actual usage that community spaces like those just don’t really exist, not like Back In The Day.

fandom on tumblr is so very decentralized.  the way things are set up here forces all of us to just make posts on our individual blogs, which then might get picked up and put on other people’s individual blogs, maybe.  you can’t like...make something (X) Fandom related and drop it in the (X) Fandom LJ Comm like “hey look, something fun to talk about!”  you could put it in “The Tag,” but anyone who’s been here for any length of time knows how useful doing that actually is.  and you could post it on your individual blog, but it won’t necessarily reach anybody who might want to geek out with you, not if you’re not already followed by someone in that fandom.  

and the only other option is to invite yourself onto someone else’s individual blog, which is a) inefficient, when you’re looking for wider community, and b) not something a Painfully Reserved Person is wont to do.

the analogy that works best for me is this: pre-tumblr, fandom hangouts were community spaces.  they were cafés with a sign hanging out front saying “star wars here!” or “kanan/hera here!” or “X here!”  if you wanted to geek out about a particular thing, you would go to the café and meet a bunch of other people there.

nowadays, if you want to geek out about a particular thing, you have to barge into a stranger’s house.  and not everyone is comfortable with that.

.

the lack of real, threaded comments is also just...i don’t know how to express how detrimental this is to communication and community.  i mean, i understand that tumblr’s entire “reblog” system doesn’t really allow it to be a thing, but tumblr’s entire mechanic as a fandom platform has to be questioned, in that case.

how impossible is it to have a conversation on here, the way tumblr is set up right now?  i mean - let’s say you make a post, right?  one person reblogs it and adds their own text to it; another person reblogs the original version, but says something different in the tags.  a third person doesn’t reblog it at all, but hits “reply” on your original post.  a fourth person “replies” also, but to the second person’s reblog, in response to the additional content.  

NONE OF YOU ARE HAVING THE SAME CONVERSATION.  none of you are even aware that the other conversations are happening.  the idea of trying to build an actual cohesive fandom community like that is just...impossible.  it can’t happen.

when i reblog posts on tumblr, i feel like i’m a dragon collecting a little hoard of shiny things she likes, only i never actually see another person, because i live in a cave.

everybody here lives in a cave.

.

and like...this is just philosophical, i guess, but.  tumblr’s focus on “follower count” and notes is also a thing i don’t really know how to handle.  

having people “follow” me makes me feel weird. seeing that people are “following” this blog exerts a bizarre external pressure, as if my little house here could ever be for anybody who isn’t me.  it prompts a tiny 'but should you?’ in the back of my head when i post about something that isn’t what all those people came here for, which is ridiculous, because this was never supposed to be a blog for any fandom in particular; it was just a blog for me.  i was the only one here when i started, and i literally never did anything to try and get people to come here and join me.  it happened accidentally, because bigger blogs than me picked up some star wars stuff i made and passed it around.

but of course, on tumblr, making connections gets conflated with follower/note count, and understandably so, because besides having a higher follower count (aka wider distribution), how are people ever going to reach the other people who are into the same thing they are?  

.

for instance.  let’s say you’re brand new to tumblr.  you want to get involved in X fandom.  there’s no community space here where a new blog with no followers can go and share their stuff with the right audience and meet all the other people who are also sharing their own work.  unless you start messaging strangers, your tumblr time is pretty isolated.

whereas - i remember on lj comms, back when people would post as a newcomer, it would be like, ‘hey i’m so-and-so and i love xyz and here’s a picture i drew of x character!!!!’ - and people would actually respond to that.  people responded to everything!  like.  tiny 400 word fics would have 30 comments, and all those people were talking with each other, not past each other, on the same page. 

.

just for fun, while i was typing this up, i went through a month’s worth of posts on an old lj comm i used to frequent.  not a single one of those posts was comment-less.  every single post, even the tiniest, most insignificant one-line musing, had some amount of discussion attached to it.  

whereas now - i don’t know if this is just confined to tumblr, or if it’s a general cultural shift, because even on AO3, i sometimes see people who have written massive sprawling epics and the comment field is just a desert.  i once saw the exact same fic posted on ff.net, where it had 20 comments - and then on AO3, where it had zero. 

and like, say what you will about ff.net (there’s...plenty to be said, certainly XD ) but commenting patterns were observably different there.  and that’s all part and parcel of a bigger discussion, which isn’t really within the scope of these notes, except to say that it’s probably the source of my forever grudge match with AO3′s kudos button, which i realize is an absurdly silly thing to say and i’m smiling at myself even as i type this, but - i gotta be honest - i hate that thing!  i can’t stand it!  XD  

i say that in the most good-natured way possible, obviously; this is fandom, after all, and it’s all for fun, and i love AO3 in every other way, so this is more a minor annoyance which makes me laugh at myself than anything else - but i say again - in the most fun-loving, self-deprecating way possible - that little button is my archnemesis.  XD  

i totally get why other people love it!  it’s a completely reasonable way to feel!  but for me, personally, coming out of an environment where the reward at the end of making something was getting to gush with somebody else, make a connection, talk about the thing that gave us So Many FEELS - the kudos button is so.  sterile.  and.  empty.  it doesn’t fulfill my urge to connect with people or share fannish enthusiasm in any way.  i’d almost rather not even see kudos on my account, honestly, because it makes me feel more disappointed than anything else - like, “oh, man.  look at all these missed fandom conversations we could have had.”

and obviously, this is in no way meant as disparaging to people who use the kudos button liberally.  it is ALWAYS lovely to show appreciation for someone who wrote something you liked, however which way you are able, if and only if you are so inclined.  nobody is obligated to leave feedback - lurkers are a perfectly accepted and long-celebrated fandom tradition; i belonged to that tradition myself, for most of my fandom life - so showing appreciation in any form is already going above and beyond.  nobody needs to be harangued with “YOU SHOULD’VE COMMENTED” or “YOU SHOULD’VE REBLOGGED” - none of that stuff is required to participate in fandom; nobody owes comments or reblogs, and creators have to be okay with that.  we can discuss and/or lament the structural factors that encourage or discourage participation, by all means, but ultimately we have to recognize that nobody is actually required to respond to things we make.  it’s fandom.  we’re all here by choice, and people’s participation levels are their own business. 

and anyway, i know that lots of authors actually love getting kudos on their work, so my experience isn’t universal, by any means.  it’s just a function of my own personal background, and the communities i used to run in - i speak for no one but myself and my own fannish life.

.

and besides, the entire debate about kudos/comments and like/reblog disparities doesn’t come anywhere near the underlying issues.  it’s sometimes framed as “people not participating in fandom appropriately” (and that’s completely unfair; there’s no wrong way to do fandom when you’re not hurting anybody) as opposed to “what is it about our platforms that encourages or discourages participatory fan culture.”  like - the only reason we even need to talk about the importance of reblogs vs. likes is because tumblr makes it so darn hard for a person’s stuff to be seen by the “right” people!  reblogs are the only way for someone’s work to spread, and even then it’s kind of like throwing a handful of darts at a board and praying one of them will land in a well-connected spot.  if a platform like tumblr were set up differently, we wouldn’t even need to have this conversation - there would be places to post your work where people would be specifically looking for content like what you were making.  you could make those fannish connections more easily.

*** important to note, too - it’s always worthwhile to remember when reading these “back in the old days” nostalgia posts that pre-tumblr spaces had drawbacks of their own.  livejournal was not some fannish utopia, by any means.  there were, however, a few structural things from that era that i think were helpful influences on fan culture, and their absence here makes me miss them.

but anyways.  those are just some thoughts.  and now i’m going back to my regularly scheduled posting, because i DO enjoy this place, even if the platform can be somewhat lacking sometimes - we still have to find a way to have fun, right?  that’s the entire point of being in fandom in the first place.

[mimzy-writing-online]

10/10/10 Tag Game

Thank you to @emdop for tagging me in this. This is their tag game here

How it works, answer ten questions your tagger gave you, make ten new questions and tag ten new people to answer.

1. For any of your OCs: What’s their favorite drink?

Ulric: black coffee or cappuccino for a treat

Anna: Earl Grey tea

Felix: English Breakfast tea

2. What very specific thing do you like to write the most?

The scene when two characters sit down and talk, opening up to each other

3. Favorite Tropes?

Friends to lovers, slow burn friendship, slow burn romance, found family, 

4. Least Favorite Tropes?

Enemies to Lovers with no friend stage, 

5. What is something you’ve always wanted to write?

A Witch’s Memory is something I’ve wanted to write for the longest time, but other projects I think about a lot:

A whimsical magic in a completely different world. A Witch’s Memory is only a different version of our modern world, one where magic is normalized like science and technology. I want to write something in a fantasy world that completely turns everything we know upside down, with climates and natural environments only from our wildest dreams and an era that is only partially recognizable in its fashion and technology, pulling from every era into a wonderful cluster of confusion and fascination.

Soft-fantasy novel set in the 1990′s with 90′s era technology, libraries and librarian aesthetic, dragons, witches, 

Most recently I’ve also been playing with the idea of a steampunk royalty story with a romance plot.

6. Do you make playlists for your WIP ideas?

Yes, and they usually either a “if this book was a movie this would be its soundtrack with this song for this specific scene” or it’s a “this would be this character’s personal playlist of favorite songs”. Anna, Ulric, and Felix have their own playlists.

7. When you’re having trouble writing, how do you inspire yourself?

I also make a pinterest folder for my WIP ideas, and A Witch’s Memory has its own board for its world building as well as a board for Anna, Ulric, and Felix. I look at that when I’m stuck and don’t know how to start or continue a scene.

If I’m drafting, I look back at my outline and work through what I have planned. Sometimes I have to deviate from the outline a little and figure out a way to reconnect back, or alter it altogether. 

If I’m very stuck I go back to other works of fiction that have inspired me in the past, specific for that story. That includes rewatching them, rereading them, listening to soundtracks or looking at fan art.

I get out of the house and spend some time with a friend. My friend (A) and I usually work through a story problem by talking it out. (K) usually distracts me and takes me to random places. Sometimes I call or message (C) because she lives far away and we talk. They all help.

8. Where do your WIP ideas typically come from?

“I really like this story, but I kind of wish it went differently, involved these tropes, had this world building, had these characters, etc.”

Nothing is really original, no matter how far back in fiction you go. Everything is inspired from something else, so for me what I do is find the aspects of fiction I love most and see what I would do with them personally.

Example: witches are cool, but if it takes place in the modern world then it has to be a secret and humans can never know, but if it takes place in a hard-fantasy historical world then everyone knows about magic and has access to it somehow. - - - > And it becomes the whole premise for this world I built

Example: why do werewolves hate being werewolves? And why must they blackout during a full moon and go total beast? And they’re either always alone or there’s this whole alpha pack thing which isn’t technically true of real wolves - - - > and it becomes a thing that werewolves are proud of being werewolves, they easily form bonds and friendships with other people, even non-werewolves, and when the full moon comes around werewolves run in a group as a fun activity, something they enjoy

Example: Amnesia makes for an interesting story, but it’s not very realistic when you know actual medical stuff, and it’s always one-sided so people are always trying to make their loved one remember or trying to “reconnect” in the exact same way they did before - - - > Which lead me to amnesia through magic curse and mutual loss of memory, forgetting the entire friendship, so now they genuinely start from scratch

Example: Long distant pen-pals is a popular trope, especially since the invention of the internet, but every time I see it, it involves people who have met in real life even if it was only for a moment and they never knew it / didn’t give each other enough information to figure it out. - - - > It turns into, they couldn’t possibly have known each other before, they live in different parts of the world, but they want to meet one day, and then by a twist of fate (or meddling) they do meet

9. If your OC was a breakfast food, what would they be?

Felix: unsweetend English Breakfast tea and jam toast: When I say jam toast, I mean his humor is a little dry like toast, but he’s still enjoyable company, sweet if he wants to be. He can also be a little bitter sometimes, the kind of person you need to know a little bit before you develop a taste for it

Anna: Earl Grey tea and honey on an English Muffin: she’s calming company but complex like the flavor of earl grey tea. As for the English Muffin, it’s a joke that she’s English-adjacent, not actually British. She spent her first eight years in America and then lived in the U.K. with Felix’s family for the next eight until their family moved to America. Her accent is slightly changed and she uses some U.K. English vocab instead of American English, so most people think she’s British. English muffins aren’t actually English. They’re an American breakfast food based on crumpets. 

Ulric: A cinnamon roll and cold butter. This is a weird one. I think if you met Ulric and got to know him, he’d be someone you’d want to protect. He’s polite, kind, and shy. Life keeps throwing him lemons (literally throwing, between his emotionally abusive father and suddenly being blind, dealing with new anxiety/depression after going blind, etc) but Ulric’s just trying to do his best. Absolute cinnamon roll. But that’s not a something he’d let you see. Most people don’t know about that part of his life, so he’s like cold butter. He’s friendly but it takes a while for him to warm up and soften those walls to let you in.

Mason (Ulric’s best friend, who I must add): sweetened coffee - very energetic and hyper, a sweetheart of a friend. There’s no coffee-bitterness, by this I mean that it’s easy to enjoy his friendship, you don’t need to develop a taste for it like you do with black coffee. (Mason is also a precious cinnamon roll if you ask me)

10. Explain one of your WIP ideas in the most ridiculous way possible?

I’m going to do this AO3 tagging system style

A Witch’s Memory

Multi, T, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Anna St. Claire & Ulric Matthews, Anna St. Claire & Felix Robbins, Felix Robbins & Ulric Matthews, Felix Robbins/Hayden Watson

Anna St. Claire, Ulric Matthews, Felix Robbins, Mason Shepherd, Elmsley St. Claire, Veronica St. Claire, Hayden Watson, Katarina Matthews, Tobias Matthews, 

Memory Curse, Amnesia, Pen-Pals, Found Family, Adoptive Family, Slow Burn Friendship, Enemies to Friends, Platonic Soulmates, M/M Slow Burn Romance

Disability, Blind Character, Bisexual Character, Three Bi Disasters, Trans Character, Elmsley is trans, Elmsley is a Good Uncle, Tobias Matthew’s Terrible Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Emotional Abuse

Magic, Witches, Werewolves, Werewolf Ulric, Witch Anna, Witch Felix,

Graphic Violence is only in two scenes, two different characters get punched, and there’s some blood

Tagging: @snowblossim @thephantomofwriting @novel-scribe @the-moving-finger-writes @sapphoopages @owlsofstarlight  @mayvinwrites @belles-library @maggie-wolff-writes @thewritingpirate

Your Ten Questions:

1. What’s your favorite trope to read but not to write? Or vice versa, to write but not read?

2. Some of your favorite aesthetics?

3. Ideal writing environment? (Time, place, sound, drink/snacks)

4. What’s your favorite side character in your WIP?

5. How would your OCs interact with your favorite characters from other works?

6. An embarrassing fact about your OC that they would never tell anyone?

7. What book do you think should be made into a movie?

8. What’s the last mean thing you did to your OCs?

9. Write an Incorrect Quotes post between your OCs

10. I’m stealing from emdop too! Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible?

[livelivefastfree]

100% need a masterpost of your fics cause you've been drawing them and I love everything. But recs would be appreciated too!!

ALRIGHTY THEN.  One……VERY large post of my fics and my Motorcity recs, coming up.  ^v^  50+ fics for y’all’s consumption.

Let’s start with my fics, because I know them better, haha.

–

Save A Horse, Ride A Dragon

One of my fav fics I’ve done to date in any fandom.  Mike is a mercenary dragon trapped in the shape of a human, wandering the Michigan wastes in post-apocalyptic magical America, when he and his Burners get an offer from the mysterious Lord Vanquisher.  T+ at this point for suggestive moments and makeouts. Polyburners/Muckles.  Warnings for the Duke being The Worst, and for Mike being the DUMBEST oblivious thirst-lizard.

The Officer Present//Director Absent series (AKA Live Free and Welcome To The Kane Co Family)

A love letter to the Season 2 that never was, co-written by me and my twin sister toastyhat/HeatedHeadwear!  :D  Live Free chronicles the appearance of a new, menacing super-soldier in Motorcity, the shadowy machinations that led to his appearance and an overarching plan from Kane that could destroy Motorcity–once and for all!!!!!!  Welcome to the Kane Co Family starts shortly after the fallout from the first, with both cities struggling to come to terms with their new reality–but the world is changing and there are new threats on all sides, and if they thought their status quo changed in the first fic, BOY THEY’VE GOT A BIG STORM COMING!! >8Dc  Also Julie punches multiple people and generally kicks ass, it’s fabulousBoth fics are gen, they’re both rated T+ for violence, Evil Science, angst, etc.  Warnings for copious Deluxe worldbuilding, egregious amounts of backstory, a couple OCs I’ve been reliably informed are extremely fun, and chapter titles in the style of anime episode titles, because why not.  :D

Supersynesthesiac

Originally created solely to fill a prompt from a sexy prompt generator, this fic and the world it’s set in both spiralled wildly out of control, and a much more plot-heavy sequel is in the works.  Supersynesthesiac follows Mike Chilton, a vigilante superhero in Detroit Of The Future, as he finally meets his elusive, telepathic partner Blonde Thunder under the most dramatic circumstances possible.  Rated M for psychic makeouts, mind-melding and also there’s sex happening, probably.  It’s not nearly as lovingly described as the mind-meld porn going on in the foreground.  Polyburners is happening in the background, but this fic is basically entirely Muckles.  Warnings for Red being awful.

Rest In Pieces (Come Apart)

Mike is getting entirely out of control, and needs to burn off energy before he can get himself (and everybody else) in trouble again.  Fortunately his gang has a Plan.Rated M for sweet, loving and totally relentless polyburners gangbang.  Warnings for everybody being absolute dorks.  Also bondage and edging, if that’s not your thing. UoU

Werewolves Of Detroit

A series of vignettes exploring the world of Mike Chilton, rogue ex-commander werewolf, his vampire best friend, his highly unconventional pack, and the world they live in. EVERY section is illustrated and I’m very proud.Rated T+, mostly gen with mentions of Dutch/Tennie.  Warnings for Kane being a huge bigot, mentions of KaneCo-mandated surgery, and Texas being an asshole about vampires.   

Exposure Therapy 

Mike has a cool idea for a cool present for his cool boyfriend to totally cure Chuck’s fear of going fast in Mutt.  Rated M for dumb, fluffy smut and implied sex toys.  Warnings for unsafe driving practices.

Kiss And Tell

Somebody came into my askbox and suggested polyburners–but the rest of the city doesn’t know that’s their relationship, just that SOME configuration of Burners is together, and it seems to change CONSTANTLY.   Rated T+ for vaguely-implied possible sex at some point off-screen.  Warnings for nothing, this fic is a perfect warm fluffy representation of my poly-burner feelings and I love it.

Wreck

A little snapshot from an AU I’m not really planning to flesh out–I mostly wanted to capture a certain kind of bittersweet emotional conflict.  Chuck’s doing his best to keep his head down and live through college when a face he hasn’t seen since The Accident shows up at his door.  Vaguely Muckles-ish.  Rated T+ for reference to a nasty car accident and the aftermath, warnings for Kane being, just, Not A Good Dad.  

Override 0

Not exactly an AU, more of a speculative fic about the Burners finding out that Chuck’s enhancements go a lot further than just the weapons systems in his arms.  A realization prompted, of course, by the Duke of Detroit’s thirst for drama.  T+, no pairings.  Warnings for, in the words of AO3′s tag system, “#Loss Of Limbs”, mind control via brain-hacking, and mentions of unethical scientific/surgical procedures.

So Real In The Dark

I challenged myself to write people pining for each other while simultaneously being in a relationship, and a sci-fi AU with an artificial amnesia hookup service turned out to be the solution.  Half a fic about boys being incredibly dumb, and half a fic about trauma, bigotry, coping mechanisms and communication, and how you can love somebody and know them incredibly well and still not really understand them.  Explicit, Muckles, background Dutch/Tennie and Claire/Julie.  Warnings for brief stranger danger, aphrodisiacs, more poor treatment of cyborgs, and emotional gut-punch.

 –Stuff I Post About That Isn’t Posted/Finished Yet–

Burnerswap

A universe where the Burners are grown-up villains, and the former villains of the canon series are our new teenage heroes.  They’re dysfunctional and weird, but they’re doing their best to protect the clean, orderly, shining city of Deluxe from the gangs and bots and nasty, climbing bots that Ms. Kane sends up from the city below.  UoU  Likely to be rated T+ if I ever post it. Not much in the way of pairings except Ms. Kane’s right and left-hand man are VERY married and VERY tragic because you know I gotta fit Muckles in there.  

–Collab Fic / Gift Fic–

Chilton 2.0 by me and LaughingStones

The Kane Co. super-soldier program needs a volunteer, and who better to be superhumanly enhanced than the rising star of the Security program, Commander Chilton?  He’d never betray Kane Co, or need to have his brain overridden!  There’s no way this project can possibly go wrong!  Rated M for some pretty fucked-up treatment of cyborgs, and also for sexy future reasons. Warnings for Mike getting really messed up physically, emotionally and psychologically by bad programming and free-will overrides, and also for dumb boys stumbling awkwardly through impromptu sex-ed together.  Muckles.

i’m not the same kid from your memory by roachpatrol and also I helped

Kane Co. captures Chuck and manages to do some nasty shit to his brain before the Burners come and re-capture him.  Chuck does NOT appreciate being held captive by Burner Scum.  Emotions!!! Angst!!!!!  …it’s rated T+ on AO3 but there’s sex so just, be aware of that.  UoU  Muckles!

Experiments In Cross-Species Makeouts by LaughingStones

This one is very hard to explain, because Jem and I like to bounce of each other’s AUs and fics and write derivative fics of fics–there’s an OC in the Live Free/Welcome To The Kane Co Family universe who has what is essentially a nasty brainy kismessisitude/hate-love relationship (not fully explored in the fic, but very fleshed out in my mind, haha) with Chuck.  And this is….those two, but with the races/species from Werewolves of Detroit.  So…supernatural AU Chuck/OC hate-sex.  M, obviously.  Warnings for vampires getting drunk on siren blood and Live Free/WttKCF spoilers.

Recalibration Nation by HeatedHeadwear

!!!! A fic for my picture of Chuck as the Duke’s cyborg bodyguard, because toasty is great.  A+ hurt/comfort and recovery and bittersweet life-goes-on vibe, aslkfjsadf I love it.  T+, no pairings, warnings for anxiety/panic attacks, ear trauma, violence, emotions.

Proper Disposal Of Project Materials by LaughingStones

A scene in Chilton 2.0 I didn’t get to write; Chuck is a Failed Project, and Kane Co. has no used for Failed Projects.  Fortunately, the techs he grew up working with have his back.  T+ for (yet again) unethical treatment of cyborgs.  

Making Friends The Superhero Way by LaughingStones

Set before Supersynesthesiac; Mike’s good at his superhero job, but sometimes everybody needs help.  In this case, help just happens to have cat ears.  Gen, rated G.  Warnings for trouble breathing and also Mike being a doofus.

The Space Shenanigans series by LaughingStones and roachpatrol 

Loosely related to/based on the Forget Me Not, but set much later.  I’m not sure FMN is going to be poly or not, but these fics are inspired-by, so they go in this section. :D  The various sexy shenanigans of space-captain Mike, cyborg Chuck and Julie the terrifying space princess.  M for sexy shenanigans.  Warnings for (acted/fake) dubcon for the benefit of an asshole, and…..just various sexual shenanigans, I would check the warnings on the fics, haha.  :D

���Aaaaaand some non-me recs!–

(((I’m going to have to speed through these a little bit more, but I love them also, this post is just getting VERY long)))

All Steamed Up by Gumbridge 

Gen, G: coffeeshop AU, technically. Chuck would REALLY like a new espresso machine, he has done the MATH, it’s GOOD BUSINESS, MIKE!!!!!

Artificial Nocturne by Icka M. Chif (mischif)

Gen, T+: Mike accidentally trespasses on the territory of a mysterious guy who calls himself “Hound”.  Mike immediately sets about pushing past the emotional barrier of standoffishness and the physical barrier of giant, repurposed KaneCo HOUNDbots, and ends up with two awesome new friends out of the deal.  (The “Chuck is a constantly-terrified badass with an army of bots” AU)

Atlas and Copernicus by charcoalmink

Gen, G: A piece about how Kane can think of Mike and Julie both as his children, but feel so completely different about them.  Hurts so good, ahhh ToT

Behind The Throne by intravenusann

Duke/No. 2, Explicit: Number 2 would never really leave.  But sometimes it’s nice to be reminded why she stays.  

Bittersweet by EnsignCelery

Gen, G: Sometimes they get stressed.  Sometimes you just gotta lie down and cuddle.

Chicken Soup For The Burner Soul by renquise

Gen, G: Mike’s immunity boosters start to wear off and he goes down like a tree.  Good old-fashioned soft sickfic hurt/comfort.

Constantinople And Timbuktu / By(zantine) Any Other Name by (orphan_account)

Mike/Chuck, G: oh my god, this fic is strange to explain but so fun?? Historical AU–Chuck’s an orphan who ended up a body-double for russian royalty in like 1500, until he ends up kind of ambiguously kidnapped by a Tatar horseman who doesn’t speak his language but has a really nice smile and a fun come-and-go family of other riders from other countries.  In the words of the author, “ [the Russian nomad!au] “

Degreaser by Gumbridge

Claire/Julie, T+: Claire can tolerate getting dirty down in Motorcity, but it has to be under the right circumstances. Julie provides those circumstances.

I Thought You Were Dead by Caligraphunky

Gen, G: Jacob thought all the androids he created for KaneCo were scrapped.  But here’s unit CHUCK, back again.

In The Lost Age Where The Jewels Hide by roachpatrol and LaughingStones

Chuck (Lord Vanquisher)/Mike (Smiling Dragon), Explicit:  The LARPing group plays WAY crazier games than Mike is used to, but he could really get used to in-character Never Have I Ever if it always ends with stuff like this.  WOW.  Sex is GREAT.

Loaded Up And Truckin’ by RaccoonDoom 

Gen, T+: Smokey And The Bandit AU–AKA Jacob has a truck and uses it to run illegal goods; Mike and Chuck run interference and keep the cops off his tail.  Trucker AU, heyyyy. :D

Love Free by Prim_the_Amazing 

Multi/Polyburners, G: KaneCo has the algorithms, the expertise, they determine the most perfect possible partner.  So what do you do when the person KaneCo chooses isn’t the person you wanted?

Never Quite Thought We Could Lose It All by LaughingStones

Mike/Chuck, Explicit: It’s not weird for a KaneCo tech to have a huge blank spot in their memory, but it is unusual for one of their childhood friends to show up at their cubicle dressed as a physical relief technician, looking stressed and desperate and acting like Chuck should know him.  Warning for implied/referenced noncon.

The Obligatory Fantasy AU series by LaughingStones 

Mike/Chuck, G/T: Chuck’s a Mage On A Mission, and he’s not going to be derailed by the fact that his bodyguard is definitely a dragon who definitely considers Chuck his beautiful, golden-haired treasure.

our guts can’t be reworked by roachpatrol

Mike/Julie, Chuck/Mike, T+: Mike finds out he’s bisexual in the most confusing possible way: BODY-SWITCHING.  

Pyrrhic Victory by Clementine

Mike/Chuck, G: I live for Mike and Chuck LARPing dramatic emotional scenes and being dumb, dorky boys and that’s what this is, and I LOVE it. 

Quiet by deanon

Mike/Chuck, Explicit:  Mike makes the mistake of wondering about Chuck and sex and being noisy, and get catapulted abruptly into terrible, flustered pining.

Quit or Retry by Caligraphunky

Gen, T+: a really short but really nicely done piece that slowly illuminates more and more of a single scene until you get the full picture.  fear. android Chuck.

Riding Shotgun by Oisiflaneur

Polyburners, T+: I’ve never smoked pot but I’m all for the Burners hanging around being chill and kissing and occasionally also Mike does shotguns and people make out.

rise if you’re sleeping (stay awake) by RaccoonDoom 

Gen, T+: Another cyborg fic, this time about Mike and Chuck and insomnia and nightmares.  Sweet hurt-comfort. UwU

Rule Number Eight by drown (teii) 

Chuck/Texas, Chuck->Mike, T+:  the fic that got me into Chuxas–starting with the aftermath of one-sided Chuck/Mike and chronicling Chuck’s descent into weird, Texas-related madness. 

Scars by corelton

Claire/Julie, G:  Julie’s line of work puts her in enough danger for her to actually have scars, like, old-fashioned scars from actual injuries.  Claire is fascinated by them.

searchlights in the parking lots of hell by roachpatrol

Gen, T+: I don’t know if it sounds like a compliment to say this is one of the most subtly, gorgeously horrifying fics I’ve ever read, but that’s basically how I feel.  Mike is a kid in a cyborg program, and he keeps ending up in sparring matches with the same kid, over and over again; it’s a different kind of unsettling every time.  There’s something about seeing a scenario that’s obviously intensely messed up, through the point of view of a character who thinks it’s normal and good.  It gives it a special, extra punch.  

Sex Level: Texas! by LaughingStones

Texas->Mike, Texas->Burners, Explicit: Texas has some totally cool and sexy thoughts–mostly about Mike.  WHAT?  It’s not like it's weird.   

Spend Life Fighting For Your Sanity by roachpatrol 

Dutch/Tennie, T+: Deluxe has no patience for rebel scum, free-thinkers or artists.  Unfortunately for Dutch’s continued health and well-being, he’s all of those things.  Even if he can’t really remember what he did.  AKA: Deluxe re-captures Dutch and comprehensively fucks him up, but SUCK IT you can’t take away the colors in his SOUL.  

Sprouts by renquise

Gen, G:  a fic about Dutch finding ROTH, and Dutch and Chuck becoming ROTH’s weird programmer dads.  ROTH is adorable and the characterization is great, A++ 

Test Drive by renquise 

Mike/Julie, Explicit: Julie and Mike have a fun adventure in pegging together. 

thursday’s child has far to go (and they go so very, very quickly) by thinkingCAPSLOCK

Gen, G:  Kane loses one child, but at least he still has the other.

Walls Twice As Strong by deanon

Mike/Chuck, T+:  in the words of the original summary: “When Mike and Chuck fight, everybody knows.“ 

We Are Golden by renquise

Polyburners, T+:  Mike kisses everybody, and it’s soft and good and makes my heart feel all happy. 

We Can’t Punch Good: A Love Story by heartsinhay

Dutch/Texas, T+: Texas is pretty sure Dutch has just gotten immune to Texas’s sweet Texas Moves, but that’s okay.  Texas has got more than one trick up his sleeve, and he knows what Dutch likes.  Probably

yellow highway lines (that you’re relying on to lead you home) by renquis

Gen, G:  A delicious exploration of the world that might exist outside the dome, and also THE BURNER ROADTRIP FIC YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR.  The kids take a package from Rayon and go on the road, headed for San Fran come hell or nuclear superstorm.This is one of the first Motorcity fics I read, and It’s a big part of why I started making things for this fandom in the first place. :D  Very recommend, A++

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

Hi, this is all kind of to do with my field. I work in user experience (UX)

All of this only considers the experience of one user base: the audience/reader/watcher

Have any of you seen in the last 10 or so years the videos from YouTubers talking about how much they hate the algorithm because it will demote content if they swore once, if they didn't hit a certain minute mark, if they showed something it wrongfully perceived as "bad?"

AO3's database system is a lot more beneficial in that regard. Fic authors can have their works discovered by people who actually want to read them if they simply put in the time to tag the word properly

Here's a mini tutorial for those who don't know how to find fic easily on ao3

1) go to the fandoms tab and navigate to one you want to read for

2) use the filters to select what you want to see

It's actually a lot less time consuming than feeding an ai data via engagement, because you are explicitly telling the site what you want to see

It's also more beneficial for you as a user because AO3 can store less data about you. Do you know what YouTube does with the stuff it learns? Targets ads, learns more about you, stores information about you. Have you not seen the stories about Target (box store in the US) sending baby ads to a girl and alerting her father that she was pregnant based simply upon the purchases she was making?

Because it’s a major cultural shift

Dude, aside from people just going “ugh, kids”, the whole point is that the assumption that sites have algorithms is a sign of how the entire internet has been ruined. It’s a major cultural shift and a terrible one.

AO3 is the opposite of obscure in fanfic fandom, and its entire existence is political and an act of resistance.

No shit people react to cluelessness about how it sorts content: how it sorts content is a conscious ethical statement.

And to answer this other person’s comment:

Wattpad, dude. No separate index by fandom, no see everything by date, just a massive fic section and tags that show the 1k most recent or 1k most popular.

Nearly every major fic site has worked something like AO3 until we get to the modern app hell that is Wattpad.

[chibistarlyte]

8, 15, and 22 for the writer asks!

aaaaa thank u for the ask, my friend!!

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

I'd say for the most part, what I read and what I write have significant overlap if we were to make a venn diagram out of it. However, I find that what I like to read is definitely more expansive than what I like to write, mostly based on my personal familiarity with certain topics or genres, or my level of comfort with writing certain things (for example, the kinds of smut I read is way more adventurous than what I write, just because I'm uncomfy writing that kind of stuff??)

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

BRUH. TITLES ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. At least with summaries, I've found a pretty fool-proof way that works for me personally, which is posting a snippet of the fic as the summary, plus one or two additional summarizing lines as needed. Tags are also pretty easy, especially with the way AO3's system works. I love being able to just type in a character's name and see what tags are associated with them, and so on. But titles...........I usually don't have a title until like...two minutes before posting a fic. xD

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

I absolutely do! After all, the first and foremost person I write for is myself. I write the kinds of things I want to read. So yeah, I do reread my own works sometimes just for fun (or sometimes to get an idea for a sequel or a follow-up story). There are some fics I won't go back and reread, though, because I either hate them or feel incredibly embarrassed about them (see: lots of my Sherlock fics).

send me some writer asks!

[allisonilluminated]

A Comprehensive Guide to Tagging

Hey all,

Tagging is super easy to figure out, but can be deceptively hard to figure out how to master.  Most authors will probably change their tags at some point in between starting and finishing their story.  The thing is, tags are one of the biggest ways people will discover and read your stories, so it's super important to get them right.

Why are tags so important?  Your tags, along with your summary, are the criteria your readers will use to decide whether to read or not.  This means that it’s important to both advertise what’s great about your story, but also any objectionable content that some readers want to avoid.

One of the biggest challenges about tags is that FFN and AO3 have completely different tagging systems.  If you're cross-posting your work, you're going to have to figure both out.  This post will be broken down into types of tags, then specified between the two sites.

Before we get into any specifics, this should be your fundamental tagging philosophy - “Would I be satisfied to come across this story if I was browsing this tag? If so, tag it. If not, don't.”  (Awesome quote from u/Zaluzianskya on reddit)

Now, to get into specifics...

Ratings:

The rating of your fic requires you to have an answer to the question, “Who is my target audience?”  If you don't know how to answer that, think about maturity.  Am I writing a dark gritty fic, or a light comedy? Do I have gratuitous sex, or is my story gen?  

FFN has four different ratings, and AO3 has five.  Here's a breakdown of each one:

K (FFN Only) – These fics probably have no violence, no swearing, and no relationships stronger than friendship.

K+ (FFN) and General Audiences (AO3) – If you're writing one of these stories, there's probably some cartoon violence, maybe some light swearing, and some cutesy shipping.  This tag is for lighter fics, especially if they fall under the Slice of Life, Humor, Family, or Friendship genres.  Nothing here should merit an archive warning on AO3.

T/Teen (Both) – This is the default rating for a fanfiction, so if you're not sure, it probably fits here.  Violence, cursing, and non-explicit relationships are enough to land a fic here, and the majority of works do fall under this description.  The Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, and Drama genres all find their home here, although works of every genre are in this rating.

Mature (FFN) – If you write a mature story and post it to FFN, it will be automatically filtered off the home page.  That's okay, because a ton of people seek out these sex filled, violent stories about immoral acts and other horrors.  If there is explicit sex, your story must go here – especially non-con.  Since FFN doesn't have content filters, it's extremely important that your reader knows when they're reading a story about suicide, rape, or another triggering event.  It's your responsibility to make your story M if there is any explicit description of such things.  If you're not explicit about sex or such, T is still a fine rating, but use your discretion. The Horror genre has a nice home here, I don't need to see that scary stuff on my front page.  Note: Explicit sex is not allowed under FFN’s terms of service.  AO3 is a much friendlier place for smut, with more readers as well, so you would be better off posting it there.

Mature (AO3) – Same as FFN, with two key differences.  First, these stories will show up on the front page, so no worries about that.  Second, this is for graphic and objectionable content with no sex or nudity.  Save your lemons for…

Explicit (AO3 only) – Smut smut smut smuttity smut.  If your characters are having sexy time, it's an E for you.

Not Rated (AO3 only) – Honestly, if I see a not rated fic, I automatically assume it's Explicit and avoid it.  If you're writing a G fic and it's not rated, I can guarantee you you're losing readers because of it.  Don't use this one.

Genres (FFN):

Genre is a totally underrated aspect of the FFN tagging system, partly because it is horribly misused.  It's hard to know what genres to tag, especially when your work is an amalgamation of a bunch of different genres.  On top of that, you get to tag one before the other.  

I don't want to run through each one, but I'll walk you through how to choose your two genre tags.

Step One – Necessary Tags: Some genres are far more important to tag than others.  Here's a list of Genres you need to tag if it's a part of your story.

Horror: Believe it or not, a lot of people hate horror.  Absolutely tag this so those of us who scare easily get a fair warning.  Remember this will usually be an M rated fic.

Sci-Fi: This really is only important for non-sci-fi fandoms, but if you cast your heroes several thousand years into the future I want to know before I click on the story.

Parody: Note – this is different from humor, you don't need to tag a fic that's just funny.  If you're not taking canon seriously, or just playing around with it for your own amusement, please let me know ahead of time.

Poetry: Cool underused writing style in fanfiction, you should definitely tag it.

But wait, what about my Twilight Fic where Bella is trapped on a spaceship avoiding a tentacle monster named Edward trying to bewitch her into falling in love through stares and sparkles written in blank verse?

First off, that's incredible and somebody should write that.  Second of all, just choose two and roll with it. If you really need to know an order, Horror should probably come first, then Sci-fi, then Poetry, then Parody.

Step Two – Target Audience:  Who are you writing for?  Why are you writing this fic?  Why is somebody going to click on this story?  Here's a brief rundown.

Note: Don't use the general tag.  Passerbys want to know what your story's about, and this tag doesn't help at all.  I can guarantee that your fic fits at least one of the other genres.

Romance: Slash. Yuri.  Yaoi.  The singular het couple on AO3.  This is the most popular genre, and people want to look for it!  This is the single most important non-essential tag; if your story focuses on any kind of romance, let the crowd know!  We'll get back to this in character tags.

Adventure: Perfect for fandoms like Pokemon or TES.  If it's about the journey, this is the one for you.

Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy, Drama, Angst: For the feels.  Up to you to chose which one fits best, but you probably only need one of these unless your story is specifically telling you otherwise.

Mystery, Crime, Supernatural, Suspense: If it would fit on an airport bookshelf with the other thrillers, one of these is the genre for you.

Everything Else:  I think for the rest, it'll be pretty obvious which of these you want.

Remember that you don't need two genres. If you wrote a romance novel, it makes the most sense to tag it as pure romance!  Similarly, if you have one important guiding genre and a bunch of others that are less important, just tag the important genre.  Your tags should be the best summary of your fic possible given the limited system at hand.

Step Three: What Comes First?: So you've chosen one or two genres.  If there's only one, great!  You're done.  If you have two, ask yourself which one is more important to the story, what feels right, or just what looks more aesthetically pleasing.  Getting the tag down is what really matters, so you've already done the hard work.  Go you!

Completeness:

Completeness can be changed in the Manage Stories screen on FFN in your profile, or by editing your story and entering the number of chapters on AO3. A lot of people filter out works in progress, so make your hard work known!

Alright, that's it for the easy stuff, now let's talk about…

Character Tags (FFN):

Okay, the two tagging systems are about as different as is physically possible, so I'm going to do each on separately.  FFN is so much simpler and more efficient in terms of characters, so it's easier to cover.  There are two main character tagging philosophies for FFN, so we'll go over both before we talk about AO3's bloated mess.

Philosophy One: Main Character or Main Relationship – This is far and away the easiest tagging philosophy to execute.  Are there one or two characters who are most essential to your story, or whose perspective the reader gets to see?  Tag just them, and you're done. Is the whole point of your story shipping your OTP?  Just tag the romance and you're done.  For this philosophy, you don't have to use all four spots – it's absolutely fine if you only use one or two.

Philosophy Two:  All Four Tags – Basically after determining who you would tag for number one, choosing more characters so all four of your tagging spots are filled.  People will often tag a secondary relationship here, or give some of their secondary characters a spotlight.  It's important to remember that lots of people filter out by character, so if there's a character in your fandom who's much more popular than the rest, tagging them can increase your view count.

Note – Having no tags generally isn't advisable.  There are still amazingly written and popular fics on FFN with no character tags, but you're not doing yourself any favors.

Character Tags (AO3):

So, this one's a little bit more complicated.  First, let's breakdown what not to do.

Unlike FFN, you should have at least one character tag.  AO3 gives you so much more freedom than FFN with tagging, so it's way more jarring when a fic is completely untagged.

Do NOT overtag.  If you've ever been on AO3, you've probably seen the overtagged story too many times before.  This is probably the single worst tagging mistake you can make, don't do it.

Don't name your OCs in your tags.  Your original characters may be great, but that doesn't change the fact that nobody knows who they are unless they read the story.  Stick to the “Original Characters” tag and the gendered variants, no matter you have.

The most important thing about tagging on AO3 is something people forget far too often -  Just because you can use as many tags as you want doesn't mean you should. This is the golden rule for tagging on AO3: You shouldn't have more than 10 character tags and 5 relationship tags with one massive exception, see below.

A couple more things:

Use the “Undisclosed Relationships” tag.  You don't have to tag every relationship – surprise!  If two side characters (read – not important) falling in love is a side plot that the story doesn't focus on, then you don't need to tag it!  If two characters were dating in a flashback, you don't need to tag it!  Keep your relationships tag to the important ones.

Usually, you shouldn’t tag platonic relationships.  As a general rule of thumb, don’t tag these, because they’ll distract from your other relationships.  However, if your story is gen (no shipping) then it’s okay to tag the main relationship your focusing on.  To do this, tag it using the & sign instead of the / sign to indicate it’s a platonic relationship and not slash.  

Relationship Tags are distracting.  This might seem like a trivial point, but it’s actually really important to remember that relationship tags are designed to stand out.  That’s why they have a gray background.  If you have to many, it’s much harder to focus on your other tags.

None of the principles apply to smut.  People are kinky.  If you're writing a fic where you're shipping one character with literally everyone else from that fandom, feel free to tag every single pair/trio/orgy mentioned and shown in the fic. People want to know when their desired relationship is being shown, so tell them.  Basically for Explicit fics only, but also might go for a big harem fic that's rated M/T.

Archive Warnings (AO3):

These aren't that hard to understand.  If your characters are dying in droves, tag Major Character Death.  If rape is mentioned, then tag Rape/Non-Con.  If you're writing smut about fifteen year olds, tag Underage.  If your characters are getting torn apart in a slow torturous death with lots of blood, tag Graphic Depictions of Violence.  

Do not use “Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings.”  Some writers accidentally equate this with “No Warnings Apply,” but it’s an instant red flag for most readers.  It comes across as shady and untrustworthy, and readers won’t want to read your work.

There really shouldn't be any General rated stories with archive warnings. If you need to use them, then it's at least a Teen rated fic.

Content Tags (AO3):

Finally, we come to content tags.  These pose an interesting question, because you can tag literally anything here.  Your goal here should be to pose the more technical side of your summary – talk about plot points and devices here, not there.  FFN doesn't give you that liberty, so you should take advantage of it.  

What to put in your content tags:

Tropes:  People search for things like “Soul Bond” or “Time Travel” all the time.  You should absolutely be tagging these things, because they will attract your target audience to your story.

AUs: For all of the college and high school AUs out there.  Not a bad idea to tag “AU – Canon Divergence” or “AU – Alternative History” if and when they apply.

Trigger Warnings: AO3's content warnings don't cover everything.  You should tag specifications for general warnings, things like self-harm and bullying, and generally darker content.

Sexual Content: Tag your kinks, folks.

Alternative Relationship Tags: This is mostly personal preference, but I think tagging things like ship names should happen in the content tags, not the relationship tags. For example, my OTP has five different ship names and I tag them all, but I only put the “Character A/Character B” in the relationship tags.  Again, remember that the gray can be super distracting and should be minimized.

Genre: Basically, follow the same Genre process as FFN or tag some more specific subgenres. Great examples would be tagging “Noir” or “Steampunk.”

Other Keywords: Most things should have been covered by the others, but any important one to three word descriptors can be added to.

What Not To Do:

Long Tags:  No tag should ever be more than four words, unless it's something Canon specific.

Tumblr Tags: The tags are not a place for your meta thoughts.  Throwing a “omg i need more coffee” or a “bumblebee is literally the cutest thing ever” says the same thing as the classic “I suck at summaries, read anyways.”

“I suck at summaries, read anyways.”: We've established this.  If you tell me you suck at writing or “Why Did I Post This,” I will take your word for it and avoid your story.

Unimportant Tags:  If it's not important to the story, don't tag it.  So simple.

The discourse from the last post was amazing and a lot of people brought up awesome points.  What's your personal tagging philosophy?

Thank you all, Allie

Support Me:  Fanfiction.net - Archives of our Own

[takaraphoenix]

This week on “Cowards who know they talk shit and thus opt to go anon on the reviews”:

Do you know what p*** me off when I'm going through the Malec tag in ao3 and I see this malace s***, you want to ship them fine, but this is a malace fic it's not Malec, not everyone wants to acknowledge that this ship exists or have to see every time you post a fic about them, there's no need to post in the Malec tag if people want to read about malace then they'll look in the malace tag for your stories! you should remember that the next time you post a rant on tumblr about being able to filter what you read when I stick to the Malec tag in ao3 so I only read Malec fics yet every time you post a malace fic you tag It as Malec so I'm always reminded of this ship, you want people to respect the fact you like malace maybe respect the fact that there are people that don't like It and don't want to see It in their ship tag! 

What confused me at first was that this was posted on FFNet. Where like. Tags don’t exist.

What really amuses me however is that, despite apparently hating Malace and most likely thus also disliking my things... they apparently follow my tumblr? So? Uh, nice to know??

And then let me, for the uptenth time, go on “a rant on tumblr about being able to filter”, because apparently you, dear anon, are reading my tumblr and are unable to filter. Now, I could invest the time to do a screenshot tutorial on this, but others are nice enough to do those.

You can download AO3 savior here.

And here’s a tutorial for AO3 savior. An alternate tutorial for AO3 savior.

But if downloading an add-on is too much for you, AO3 literally has a filter system already in their site. And other people were nice enough to do a screenshot tutorial on how that works.

It is incredibly easy for you to filter. Via AO3 itself, or via savior. Literally just add Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland to your blacklisted tags on savior, or put NOT “Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland“ in the “Search Within Results” bar and, with the magic of the internet, it will not display the mean, bad, offending Malace to you.

I will in fact not stop tagging my OT3 in their separate pairing tags because it is something I wish everyone did since I, personally, when looking for a fic with a pairing am always happy to see various OT3 other people came up with.

Not to mention the fact that it serves as an assurance that yes, this is a full-on threeway story. All three sides of this triangle are in fact dating.

Far too often, you run into false advertising with threesome tags where it’s in the end just “Chara A and Chara B are sharing Chara C so it totes counts as a threesome *lol*” instead of just being tagged as Chara A/Chara C & Chara A/Chara B. As someone who loves true threesomes, those kind of stories are irritating because they are not even the pairing tagged.

So I tag the individual relationships to assure that yes, this is not just Jace and Magnus sharing Alec, like in quite a couple of stories I cam across, but it’s in fact all three in relationships.

So.

There you go. Just use the amazing, easy filter-system that you now know about because you apparently read my annoying tumblr rants, dear anon. :D

Oh, and, pro-tip: If you just generally hate my stuff and not just the evil bad offending Malace I write, you can type NOT “Takara_Phoenix” in the “Search Within Results” bar and you will never have to see any of my work again.

It is amazing and simple. You people don’t need to complain about my offending works, or any offending ships. You can literally filter out everything.

Characters.

Pairings.

Additional tags.

Authors.

Fandoms.

You can literally filter everything out on AO3 and will never have to be annoyed by something you hate. NEVER AGAIN. So, how about you in return don’t annoy others.

Honestly, I do not understand how anyone nowadays can still go about bitching and complaining about pairings or even authors on AO3 when you will never have to see the thing you hate ever again.

My pairings offend you? Filter them out.

Me and my writing personally offend you? Hey, that’s okay. Not everyone can love everyone. Just filter me out.

It’s all really simple and if you’re struggling with the easiest things, don’t worry, the internet has you covered with tutorials. Just Google, or ask someone for help! ;D

[octopuscato]

I really don’t want to say this

Then don’t, nobody’s forcing you.

it really hurts to see how anti-antis are starting to become just as dumb as the antis.

Not an ‘anti-anti’. I also don’t see myself going out there hating people who do fandom differently than me, telling them to die or that I want to murder them, trying to slander them or reporting them to the police for fiction, so you’re kind of like ten thousand miles off there in your assessment. Have an Aspirin for your headache.

It takes THREE SECONDS to tag your fix as underage, rape, noncon/dubcon or whatever. There seconds out of your life so that people who do not want to read this can skip it.

Yes, and it takes three seconds to tag ‘choose not to warn’ so that people who don’t want to read these things can skip this fic.

You call people who want these things tagged entitled

I’m not calling people wanting trigger warnings entitled. I’m 100% for trigger warnings. I’m calling people entitled who think that an author’s fic belongs to them as readers. ‘Choose not to warn’ is a trigger warning, the meaning of which is: ‘Any of the archive warnings might or might not be in here, stay away if any of them trigger you. This fic is a surprise package.’

“But ALL of my work revolves around this!! So I don’t bother tagging!”

Nobody said that. Especially not the ‘I don't bother tagging’. ‘Choose not to warn’ is a tag, is a warning.

This stuff is not quite visible from just the preview in ao3.

Hence the warning called ‘choose not to warn’. It literally says ‘I choose not to warn you’. Anybody with the most basic reading comprehension can understand that this means that anything might be in that story and they should only read it if they’re fine with that.

You still actively chose to not take a few seconds out of your day to tell people what’s going to happen in your fic.

We actively choose to tell people: ‘Anything might happen in here This is a fic for an audience that wants surprises.’ This is a valid choice. Screeching and trying to guilt people into doing fandom the way you want to is not going to change that. 

That’s what assholes do. You’re an asshole. 

People who’re denied mindless obedience resort to name-calling when they have no argument, no manners, and no way of forcing people to do what they want. That’s what entitled people do who believe that they have to be obeyed for no good reason other than that their wishes are somehow more important than other people’s. You’re entitled.

Also, I suppose the founders and maintainers of AO3 are arseholes, too, since they came up with the tagging system, including ‘choose not to warn’ as a way to opt out of it while still giving the readers a heads-up for possible triggers. Oh boy, I sure hope you’re staying away from that evil site made by arseholes for arseholes.

I would also like to add that there are quite some authors who do not warn already and who do not tag their shit. If you do not tag, then people can literally not make use of what ao3 is so loved for. They can not block the tags, and sort by fics they want to see.

True. Not tagging at all is discourteous to the readers and not allowed on AO3. You can report any completely untagged fic and any fic that has one of the four things that the archive warnings are for (rape, underage, major character death, graphic violence) but isn’t tagged for them. The moderators will then tag those fics. WITH ‘CHOOSE NOT TO WARN’!!!

From AO3′s TOS FAQ (link):

In fact, ‘choose not to warn’ is THE DEFAULT ARCHIVE TAG:

#im sorry but this is getting me worked up #at the beginning it was like #oh im writing about this controversial thing #but im tagging it so you can avoid it! #and now you are calling people who want things like rape tagged entitled? #what the actual fuck #fuck you 

Reading comprehension = zero.

I think now I get it. This person thinks that people are entitled to being able to read every single fic that doesn’t contain their specific triggers, and that authors are absolutely obligated to provide every information about the fic so that the reader only has to say ‘Ok, not gonna be able to read this’ if the fic contains their specific trigger, say for example rape. If the author only says ‘There might be violence and/or rape and/or underage and/or major character death in here,’ they’re essentially ‘stealing’ the story from the reader. Or something. Because I can’t think of any other explanation why this person is so infuriated by authors saying: ‘If one of these four things that AO3 requires warnings for triggers you, better don’t read it, because it might be in here.’

There are so many fanfics out there. Just avoid those whose authors don’t warn like you want and use this tag for their fics, the end.