#i hate games like that. like with a deep genuine passion

[zehecatl]

i’m sure Sky is really good, what little i’ve played of it is really good, but i cannot fucking stand social-driven games

like i don’t want to make friends. i don’t want to interact with people that deeply. why the fuck is 99% of the cosmetics gated behind ~friend points~

i’m a fucking introvert i’m not capable of that kind of friendship making

[maplebellsmods]

Hello! Here are the new traits that I have been working on.

Just like you would add any other CAS trait for your Sims. For reference, you can look at the photo and these are all the traits you would find in the game. These are compatible with all of my other previous traits.

Depending on what trait you use sims with the traits or sims around the sim with these traits can have certain reactions. It's just like how the traits work in general. 

Some of the interactions and outcome for some of the traits:

A sim with the grudge holder trait wont want to be around someone they share a bad sentiment with. A buff may pop up depending on the sentiment. 

Obsessive Collector: These Sims have a passion for collecting items, whether it's rare stones, stamps, or vintage furniture. They gain happiness from adding to their collection and get excited when they find new or rare items.

Forbidden Lover: These Sims are drawn to relationships that are taboo or socially frowned upon. They get a thrill from the secrecy and danger of these relationships but face increased stress when the relationship is exposed or causes drama.

Impatient: These Sims hate waiting and get easily frustrated when things aren’t moving quickly enough. They tend to rush through activities, sometimes sacrificing quality for speed.

Clumsy Genius: These Sims are highly intelligent and excel in intellectual pursuits, but they lack physical grace. Despite their clumsiness, they are brilliant problem solvers and thrive in tasks that require brainpower.

Aesthetic Perfectionist: These Sims are obsessed with aesthetics and symmetry, always striving to create visually perfect environments. Their artistic skills are top-notch, and they spend extra time ensuring that every detail aligns with their high standards of beauty and harmony.

Love Cynic: These Sims are skeptical about romance and often find traditional expressions of love cheesy or insincere. They tend to avoid romantic interactions but can still develop deep, meaningful connections based on trust and companionship. Winning their heart requires patience and genuine effort.

Grudge Holder: These Sims have a hard time letting go of past slights and are known for holding onto grudges. They tend to remember every wrong done to them, which affects their relationships negatively.

Public Oct 30th

Download Here

[chateaaa]

"he probably hates me" x "i love you so much"

pairing: Rin Itoshi x fem! reader

warnings: angst, fluff, swearing

req: "he probably hates me" x "i love you so much" Trope with rin is so true! Mau I request a one-shot of this pls? If u do make it, Tysm! ❤

Rin Itoshi was bad with his feelings and emotions. He knew that but deep down, he is actually a very fragile and sensitive man. Whose heart has been shattered into a million pieces because of how his brother left him.

Ever since you met Rin, your life has changed by becoming his girlfriend, Rin may not seem like it but he would be your typical act of service guy at the start of your relationship

Rin Itoshi, who after blue lock changed, his demeanour changed, his attitude changed and more importantly, your relationship changed. It's like he hates you, he never cares for you, Rin who after blue lock didn't even spare a glance at you.

You knew about Rin's ideals to beat his brother, but you still continued to support him, such as watching how the blue lock won against the football team of japan.

After the U20 match, you received a message from your cold beloved boyfriend, who asked if you can both meet at the park near the stadium because he has something to tell you, which you replied agreeing.

You walked to the park with a small frown, fully expecting that the Rin Itoshi is planning to break up with you.

You sat down at a swing in the park waiting for Rin.

An hour has passed after he messaged you, and he was still not at the park, you then thought positively about how Rin is probably being held up for interviews because of the victory of blue lock.

you saw a stray cat coming near you, and you gently picked it up as it purred when you petted the cat's head.

The park was silent, the only person was you (and the cat) and you were completely thinking about how Rin probably ditched you.

"Hey Mr. cat, do you think my boyfriend hates me?" you suddenly asked the cat, the cat then purred as you chuckled thinking how stupid you look talking about your boy problems to a literal cat.

"You see, i really love him, however i know that i'm a hindrance to his goal so i think it's time for us to break up" you continued talking to the cat.

"My boyfriend is the best, i love his smile and how passionate he is to football and i think i won't be needed in his future" you chuckled bitterly.

You then stood up from the swing, prepared to leave the park then suddenly you saw a figure running towards you.

And that was your boyfriend, The Rin Itoshi, who was now in front of you, still in his jersey, sweat beads going down his forehead as he looked into your eyes.

There was an awkward silence in the air, with Rin catching his breath, you decided to break the silence by speaking up "Rin, how are you? Congrats on winning the game!" you smiled genuinely.

"Y/n listen i—" Rin tried to talk to you.

"Let's break up, Rin" you smiled sadly.

"What...?" Rin replied genuinely shocked.

You closed your eyes, with the fear of getting the look of hatred from Rin as you spoke "Listen Rin, i know that you hate me, it's very obvious and i know i'm an hindrance to your goal in beating your brother, so it's okay and let's break up, thank you for being my boyfriend, Rin, Goodluck on your journey" you smiled, when you opened your eyes you saw something very shocking

You didn't expect the reaction from your boyfriends face when you said that, It was the first time you saw your boyfriend sad, looking like he was about to cry.

"W-What's wrong?" you replied in a panicked state, clearly not used to how rin expresses his emotions to you.

He then hugged you very tight, hands gripping your waist silently pleading for you to not let go, his head resting on your shoulder inhaling your sweet scent.

"I love you so fucking much, Please don't leave me"

— fanfic here

[cherie-doll]

𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: Hidden Affection

༉‧₊˚. Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Alejandro, Phillip Graves, Keegan, König, Nikto

・❥・"Audere est facere"

Ghost

Calculated steps, it’s like a slow dance you both partake in

Like an alarm going off in his head, he proceeds with caution

So skeptical of love, his feelings, everything

Even if he slowly narrows the path to you don’t expect immediate love

He doesn’t want to be the only one who gets hurt

He wants you to be his only one

To call out your name and for a warm smile to light up for him

While in a group conversation, he’ll crack a joke or two hoping you’ll laugh

Those softened eyes that rested upon you

Gazes that lasted a little longer than they should’ve

He couldn’t help it

Soap

A hopeless romantic all his life

The lonely feeling that goes away when he’s with you

Lots of daydreaming and heart-racing

That eye contact feels like an electric spark that shoots straight up his spine and keeps him alert for the rest of the day

He lights up when you’re near

The words he sincerely wanted to tell you

You’re the one he desperately looks for every chance he gets

Finds every excuse to see you

Nothing hurts him more than having to ignore you while in front of others

“It shouldn’t have to be like this…”

And he hugs you as if it’ll be the last time he’ll ever get to touch you. every. time.

Gaz

Tries to learn things about you, for instance, your favorite things, your preferences

He may be talking all giddy and comfortably and suddenly go quiet to observe you while you do something

Subtly acting differently when he’s around you

Something in the air changes when you make eye contact

Like a moment of silence and stillness when from across the room you find one another

Electricity runs through his veins when his fingers graze your skin

Traces of a smile that remains on his face long after you’ve talked to him

Leaves love notes hidden among your belongings

Maybe nothing else in the world belongs to him, but he’s at ease knowing he has your love

Alejandro

He’s smug when he notices your voice falter knowing he’s doing something to you

Sees it like a game to see how close he can come to the line between playful banter and genuine interest

A lot of patience testing, a game of pushing and pulling

What he thought would be a light and easily enjoyed game soon turned into something more

The growing heartbeat gets louder until the last second

A sweet game of Russian roulette

You constantly remind yourself to keep your beating heart still

What you don’t know is however many times you’ve had to calm your heart, how much more did he find himself in a tumult of emotions wishing he could come forth with his feelings

Phillip Graves

He hates the way he feels dumb and dizzy when he gets too close to you

Idiot in love but in denial

You start to notice his attraction to you through his trivial habits

Once, he helped you stand up, and the way he grasped your hand and flexed it after you had let go

Not only does he start to show his feelings through wit and charm but also when it comes to your wellbeing

He cares for his Shadows but cares excessively when it is about you

“I have the right to be worried” or “Stop fooling around, you’ll get yourself killed”

Behind those seemingly harsh words is a tender spot that’s reserved just for you to take over

He had hit the limit of his patience when you finally decided to make a move, after that it was smooth sailing

Secret meetups in his office ;)

Keegan

I can’t imagine him gazing at you with those deep blue eyes without it making you uneasy

Just gazing at you would grant him peace

He wishes to devour you; kiss you, touch you, to show how much you ignite passion within him

Treats your mouth as if it were heaven’s gate

Meeting in secret is difficult and not always easy, when more than a week goes by without some sort of intimacy he’ll get jealous

Lashing out because he can’t just stride over to you and embrace you

Firmly takes your wrist and guides you to a secluded area

“Don’t show that smile to anyone else darling, it’s for me only”

He makes it up to you; the little time spent together makes up for the entire day

König

Won’t say anything you have to listen carefully to notice his barely perceptible acts of affection

He watches you, can’t speak, wandering around you without taking his eyes off of you

Every thought naturally flows toward you

Like a sugar craving, he wants a sweet love like this

He stares at you for a long time, waiting for you to fall into his hands when you’re alone

What if it’s just infatuation?

The emotions that are halfway there, might not be that sweet he realizes

He just feels afraid it’ll all shatter if he tries reaching out and making the relationship known

So his eyes wandered around

Sometimes feeling his heart trembling

Daydreams of one day reaching that love like a sweet fruit on the end of an outstretched branch

Nikto

The truth is, it wasn’t love at first sight

He saw nothing distinctive about you right away

He’s never been a man to seek flirting

Although it took time for your subdued personality to come to his attention

When he found a certain liking for you it surprised him

Conversation with you had always been easy

One of you will glance at the other only to find them already looking and neither of you can help but smile

“You know you don’t have to pretend”

Rushed kisses given in secret

Frustration building in his chest, all pent up and ready to burst when he senses you nearby

His heart is thrown into chaos and he doesn’t know what to do, but you’re there to assure him it’s going to be fine <3

[ferg0s]

Barou starting a new relationship with a shy girl and how he would go about it

The literal personification of trying to mix oil with water

He was used to everyone looking at him in times of need on the field - he was the king after all - so he didn’t even notice how you would take a step back whenever it came time to ordering food, or any sort of public speaking and interactions.

He naturally took the lead, and you followed suit. Thanking the lord.

He honestly didn’t even notice how shy you were- he just kinda assumed you like hearing him talk. It wasn’t until he passed by an aisle of cute keychains and decided that he wanted to get you one when he realized… he kinda didn’t know anything about you.

I mean he did. He knew your name, your height…. The colour of your eyes…. And hair… and…

“So what do you do?” He asked bluntly as the two of you walked down a park, ice creams in hand. The one he ordered. “What?” “Hobbies? Sports? What do you do in your spare time?” He asked as he looked at you, determined to get an answer. “You know… the usual stuff-“ you awkwardly chuckle. “I don’t know actually.” He was a little shit about it.

But after literally interrogating you for an entire hour, he managed to squeeze out an answer from you. You were completely cornered by him, and you shyly tell him your hobbies. He looks dumbfounded, because to him those are completely normal and healthy hobbies for someone to have. He was starting to think you’re a grave robber by the way you were acting.

Knitting? He will get you the yarn, and parade a scarf you made for him and show all his teammates. Collecting something? He will always be on the lookout for what you like, even going as far as asking his teammates to be on the lookout as well. Video games? He will learn to play your favourite game with you. Cute farming sim? Silent hill? Niche indie game that only 3 people know about? You best bet he will ask for a 4 hour lore deep dive.

Very supportive.

Lwokey will get annoyed at your shyness at one point.

At first he thinks it’s cute, but he’s not the type of person to fully baby anyone, and will force you to order your own meal. He wants the best for you :(

Will say his order and look at you to say yours, watching you stumble on your words as you try to order some fries and a sprite. And will say he’s proud of you after. But doesn’t do it often because he can see the genuine terror in your eyes - only does it even it’s the two of you in line on a slow day.

Slowly learns to accept that you’re passionate in your own way. He’s loud and proud, whereas you like to keep to yourself. In a way he likes that you’re so open with him, that you let him see the stuff you don’t show other people. Thinks it’s adorable.

Will 100% try to make you more comfortable and less shy. You bought a new dress and don’t want to wear it, he will bluntly tell you it looks good and it would be a waste of money not to wear it.

Encourages your fashion choices. Polly pocket platform heels? He loves them. Bold lipstick? He will buy you earring that match. He quietly realized he liked seeing you happy. And you were happiest being yourself.

He’s not a big fan of grossly obvious PDA. Loves holding your hand or when you grab his bicep when you two walk together. You like it because it doesn’t draw unnecessary attention and he likes it cuz you’re always attached next to him and he doesn’t have to worry about actually loosing you. Plus he likes it when you grab his bicep.

Took forever to convince you to come to one of his games. You were too nervous to get into an arena with so many people - said you could come with a group of his teammates girlfriends - but you hated the idea of being with people you didn’t know.

He got really good at spotting you in the crowd. Didn’t matter where you were sitting, he just trained himself to see you. You were too shy to loudly cheer like everyone else, blending into the crowd due to that. But it didn’t matter.

In a weird way. He likes that hes the only one who gets to see you this happy, because hes the same with you. Slowly learning to take his guard down, be more open.

You’re learning to be confident while he’s learning to be trusting.

[bluecollarmcandtf]

I'm so annoyed, my best friend has such an asshole for a husband. He basically never pays attention to her, all he cares about sport, beer and his friends. He never helps around the house and he's a lazy slob! He's always at the gym or going to the game with his bros. He's such a prick, maybe he should just be date his bros since he's so obsessed with them. He's always complaining about his wife "bothering him". Plus who would want to marry a slob anyway, as a husband he should be devoted to cleaning his house and caring about who he is married to.

I think I found the guy you're talking about, and you're totally right about him being an asshole. Your friend deserves better than an uncaring, selfish, pig-of-a-husband. That girl has tolerated him for too long! She won't be seeing him or his sexist buddies ever again when I'm done here...

Just look at him! The first thing he does when he gets home is grab a beer and park that fat ass of his on the couch. Sure, he might hit the gym later on his way to the bar, but he's not planning on helping his wife out with dinner. He's not really planning on talking to her at all until he needs a blow job later tonight.

You mentioned his name was Brett, I think?

Well, Brett can barely hold a job. He's lucky you gave him a chance and got him a gig as a delivery man. I think he's been doing this for a month now, but he absolutely resents the work. Brett can't really enjoy anything unless he has a beer in his hand, and he absolutely hates wearing that stuffy little uniform.

Nevertheless, he's been consistently showing up so far; probably because his wife is waking him up, washing his clothes, and feeding him breakfast. Brett essentially only uses her as a maid and sex toy!

It's a good thing I've got something planned for Brett today as he starts his delivery rounds. He doesn't notice me following as he grumpily carries a package out of his truck, and he doesn't have time to react when I reach out and grab the back of his head.

"You're not going to move," I command, sinking my fingers into the soft parts of his skull, "You're going to let me in."

A deep sigh blows out of Brett's mouth, and I know his willpower is gone. "I'm not going to move. I'll let you in..." he repeats numbly.

With permission, I shoot inside his mind, discovering much of what I expected. His thoughts revolve around meeting up with his bros after work. He hasn't genuinely cared to think about his wife in ages. His mind is just as simple and unlikeable as he is.

Good thing I'm here to change it!

"Brett, I'm changing your thoughts. You like that. You want me to rewrite you."

"You're..." he struggles to form words, "You're changing my thoughts. I like that. I want you to rewrite me..."

"Good," I grin maliciously.

Bringing my lips closer to his ear, I begin to fill his head with his new personality. He accepts all his new goals and dreams wholeheartedly. I imagine, you will like them. They're the ones you asked for...

Done for now, I pull out of his mind, whipping Brett back into consciousness! He gasps for air as he regains his senses, but then something overtakes him. He's taken off running down the street!

I follow behind, knowing exactly where he'll end up. I must say that I enjoy watching his thick ass jogging away in those tight brown shorts. He's a lot more muscular than I gave him credit for.

I'm sure his new husband will enjoy that body of his too.

Brett sprints several blocks and runs straight up to a house at the end of the street. It's the home of one of his football buddies. I think his name might be Axel or Alex or something. I'm not sure.

Anyways, Brett bangs on the door, panting like a dog. When the door is finally opened, he wastes no time. Brett pulls his bro in for the long passionate kiss he's been waiting for.

"Dude?" his friend mumbles as their lips part, "What are you doing?"

Little does he know that I already hypnotized him, too. He's going to accept everything Brett does like it's what he's wanted all along.

"Axel! Man, I love you!" Brett moans, pulling his football buddy in closer, "I want you to marry me. I'll quit my job and be your housewife. I'll be better at that! And you can boss me around and use me however you want, bro! I mean everything; cooking, cleaning, everything!"

"Woah, dude! That's a lot to take in," he hesitates, but already his mind is giving in, "But yeah. I like the sound of that. Being my wife means more than just cooking and cleaning though."

Brett looks at his new love earnestly. Meanwhile, Axel straightens up and crosses his arms to look rough.

"It means pleasure, whenever I want it and wherever I want it. It means you only get to watch the football games in between you serving me and my friends. By the way, they're just my friends now. Got it, dude?"

"Yeah," Brett whines, "Just let me start now!"

Axel smirks and pulls his new house husband into the house, giving him a possessive slap on the butt as they pass over the threshold.

"Alright, bitch. I'm gonna treat you just as bad as you did that old girl of yours."

"Who?" Brett asks out of genuine confusion, but he's already brushed off the comment and dropped to his knees.

"I don't know. Don't care either," Axel sneers, "Just get started. Haven't blown a load all day."

The faint sound of repetitive gagging echoes out of the house as the front door slams shut. It seems like my work here is done.

The football gang will enjoy having a very willing bro to take care of all their needs, and Brett will do it with a genuine smile on his face. That friend of yours is a free woman, so I suggest she find something fulfilling to do with her life. Brett may be trapped in another marriage, but she sure as hell isn't!

Hope you liked how I handled your problem!

[tommydarlings]

pairing: charles leclerc ; carlos sainz ; max verstappen; toto wolff ; lando norris; rbr!sebastian vettel x reader

warnings: mentions of smut, mentions of dacryphilia, mentions of chocking, mentions of fucking infront of a mirror, mentions of possessiveness, mentions of public sex, mentions of slapping, mentions of cum eating, mentions of fingers in mouth

check this out: my masterlist <3 // my ko-fi to support me! <3 // my PayPal to support me! <3 // my Patreon to become a member! (get access to +25 works) <3 // Save a Life carrd made by me! <3

CHARLES LECLERC

LOVES to tease you but HATES it when you tease him.

“You better stop touching me right now or I’ll make sure that you have no tears left to cry anymore by the end of the night, mon amour.”

Always dragging you by your wrist to the bedroom/restroom when you were a brat.

“I’ve had enough of your little game, ma jolie — one your knees, now.”

ABSOLUTELY LOVES to see his veiny fingers making their way down your mouth, likes loves to stuff your mouth with them.

“Just like that baby, take them deep down your throat, just like we’ve practiced.”

CARLOS SAINZ

Lots of chocking.

“Look at that big hand around you delicate little throat, cariño, so beautiful.”

LOVES railing you infront of a mirror with a passion.

“Look at you, baby, Look at your pathetic, little figure, fucking love it.”

Overstimulates you for fun if he had a bad race.

“Stay still or I’ll tie every single limb if yours to the bedposts, you got me?”

“Don’t try to fight it, cariño, it’s useless.”

MAX VERSTAPPEN

SO possessive over you. Like, if any other man even looks at you, he’s mad like an animal.

“You're body is mine, you're mind is mine and you're heart is mine, understood?”

“I own you, y/n.”

Always sneakingly touching you under the table at a dinner party in a restaurant or at a family dinner at home in the Netherlands.

“Shh baby, it’s okay — I got you, don’t I? Yeah, I do.”

Slapping you if you're being a BIG brat.

“Talk to me like that again and I’ll slap that pretty little face of yours until it's genuinely painful, okay?”

TOTO WOLFF

Always touching you somewhere, either your arm or your thigh or your palm, he loooooves touching you.

Showing everybody that you belong to him and will always belong to him.

“You're my perfect little girl and my perfect little girl only, am I clear?”

Choking you when you are riding him and thinking that you’ve got the lead now.

“Don’t you think that just because I let you ride my cock that you’ll get all the power, Schatzi, I am always gonna be in charge, you hear me? Always.”

A bit overprotective but honestly… you love it.

LANDO NORRIS

Loves to let his hands good along your skin when he’s thrusting into you.

“How did I get so lucky, hmm?”

“Such a pretty, pretty girl I got myself, don’t I?”

“You're.” Thrust. “So.” Thrust. “Fucking.” Thrust. “Beautiful.” Thrust

Kisses his way up your neck, always making you giggle in the process.

Secretly LOVES to eat you out and eat your cum.

RBR!SEBASTIAN VETTEL

Lots of eye contact.

“Look at me, liebling, c'mon.”

“Keep your eyes on me, that’s a good girl.”

LOVES calling you his good little girl.

“My obedient, little girl, that’s exactly what you are, am I right?”

Always strokes your cheek and puts your hair behind your ear.

“Shh, it’s okay liebling, I’ll take good care of you now, don’t worry.”

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 34)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (32)

Masterlist (other parts here)

That was not what she’d expected at all. YFN had done her research and put her own puzzle pieces together, though her theory had missed the mark by a significant amount.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

YFN couldn’t even close her mouth.

She walked closer, lightly treading with elegance as if to not scare her away. When she was close, her eyes lingered on the scar cutting her eyebrow with empathy.

YFN managed to find herself and cleared her throat. “Your misdirection was very believable.”

“I was worried the voice would give it away.” She said almost shyly. Her voice was more regal now, less…common? Clever.

YFN’s relief must have been clear, and she didn’t realise herself just how worried she’d been. “And my misdirection was not entirely untrue…” She gestured around her. “This is her house.”

They were standing in the house of JK Rowling. The woman she’d assumed she was meeting. It all made sense, didn’t it? Joe. Lumos. When she’d originally started researching the company, she’d come across the other Lumos, the charity founded by Joe. Though, she made sure to not hold any assumptions going into their meeting.

“Why her?” She asked, knowing it was a little rude to do so. “Why hide behind someone the public hates so vehemently?”

“I needed someone with power, someone rich, someone people could believe had the capabilities of doing so.”

“So Lumos is a branch of her company?”

“No…it’s my company, my money. I spoke to Joe about the idea of using her as a bit of an alias, as well as using the same name as her charity.”

“But…why hide at all?” She really didn’t understand. She was wealthy, powerful and beyond all else… “People adore you.”

“I thought about it, trust me. But how would that look, having me try to lift the women’s game? It would look like a publicity stunt, like they needed me when they don’t. I need them to show that they can do it themselves. They have the motivation, the will, the support and now they have you. At least, I still hope they do?”

YFN was fully aware now that up until this point, she’d been disillusioned as to the identity of ‘Joe’, right down to the reason that she’d chosen her. She was a writer. Exactly what Joe herself would have done. This was a better scenario, though the fact that her guise was the infamous author would not be well received. She didn’t try to understand the complexities of it all. Looking beyond all of that, she knew that the person she’d spoken to on the phone was genuinely passionate. Caring. Hard-working. She understood that she had been a victim of her title and knew deep down that they could accomplish incredible things together.

“They still do...”

“Tea is prepared in the estate room, ma’am.” Benjamin interrupted politely.

“There’s hot chocolate too, YFN.” She promised with a lovely smile that begged to be photographed.

How did she know?

“Thanks, Kate.”

“Cath, please. Only the media calls me Kate.”

“Did you ever have any intention of meeting me?”

To her credit, Catherine was very similar the person she was presented as in public, however the more time they spent together, the more liberated she became with her thoughts. YFN realised how much of a burden it must have been, stuck under the thumb of royal obligation and public expectation, though in this room, there were just the two of them.

“No,” she allowed herself a little smirk as she took a sip of tea. “No, my intention was most definitely to stay invisible in this. And besides you, I plan to keep it that way.”

“You’re not worried about Mark?”

“I knew that hiding behind Joe would mean the possibility of people assuming she was directing this, and furthermore that she would have enemies try to pull her down. She did warn me about Mark. He’s…persistent.”

“A business rival I’m assuming?”

“I believe Joe managed to ruffle his feathers a little with a business deal a few years back. She said he’s forever since been adamant to undermine her achievements, and to make matters worse, he doesn’t care that Lumos is a charity. See, I originally assumed we’d be safe if I created a company with the same name, because who would attack a charity? As it turns out, Mark would.”

“And I’m guessing the idea of you having a personal conversation with him to quietly nip this in the bud is out of the question?”

“Indubitably.”

YFN bit her lip as she thought about the situation she found herself in. She wanted to ask if her husband knew, but knew it was the wrong question for the conversation. What Catherine was doing was separate from that. Separate from her life as a royal, as a mother, as a leader.

“No, William doesn’t know.”

YFN’s eyes shot up to find Catherine’s. David wasn’t wrong, she was intelligent. She had those rare gifts of intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence, the types that YFN felt she also had; the ability to truly understand herself and other people. It was perfect for Catherine’s main role, really.

“A personal project then?”

“Of sorts.”

“With…very high ambitions?”

“Yes.”

The conversation was quick witted and much more was being said in the words they didn’t vocalise.

“I’m Australian, so forgive my lack of knowledge…but I wasn’t aware you were so passionate about football?”

“It does tend to be William’s passion more than mine, however I do love sport. And while football may not be my favourite, it is England’s favourite, and it’s where the change needs to happen first.”

First? Her eyebrows raised. “You plan on expanding Lumos to other sports?”

“Gradually, yes. The focus begins on all things football and will grow to encapsulate all female sport.”

“Not male sports?”

“Potentially in the future, if we ever reach equivalence, however that is not my intention. My main goal is to focus on the female perspective. I find sport to be one of the largest places of gender inequality and male dominance. It’s going to be a tough field to make change.”

YFN couldn't help but feel that her choice of JK Rowling as a hidden alias was detrimental to her success. Catherine read her thoughts again, she seemed to be good at that.

“Joe…is a friend. I’m unsure of your opinion in the matter but I don’t agree with her opinions and I did think that using her would only be of benefit to her if people had dug deep enough to assume she was behind it. “

She wanted the best for Joe, even at the sacrifice of a little face. Even after her controversial opinions. The admiration must have been written on her face from Catherine’s returning look.

“And Joe did also help me choose you.”

“That explains a query of mine. I’m a writer, first and foremost.”

“Please don’t think that I only chose you because it’s what Joe would have done. It’s not. I looked into you and your work meticulously. It took me a long time to find you, and it wasn’t just for your work as a writer. It was the way you interviewed people, the way you approach questioning, your ability to be both affable and determined. You know exactly what you want, and how to get it without sacrificing the comfortability of the people you speak to.”

It was the nicest compliment she’d ever received, and she felt herself blushing a little. Catherine put down her tea.

“Also, I found some of your photography. I understand you moved away from it and over to the publication side of your previous workplace. Photography happens to be a passion of mine. I believe it to be an important artform, and it did motivate me towards pursuing this project. Without it, I wouldn’t be here with you. I’d be off with the other duties that are required of me.”

Catherine had studied Art History, if YFN remembered correctly. It began making even more sense.

“What…is the timeline you had in mind?”

“The only timeline I’ve considered so far is that of football. I want us to have coverage of all of it by the end of next year. I hope that it’s a fully run operation by then, and we can expand into tennis and cricket.”

The hot chocolate did its job then and YFN yawned so hard, she worried she was being rude.

Catherine gave a polite chuckle.

“It’s getting late. We have a few days to talk this over more, Joe is in the US for another week, and I’ve managed to wriggle out of some royal engagements for the next few days. Shall we pick it up tomorrow?”

Things had begun to come even more into focus the next day after they’d spoken a little more. It was her passion project, and one that YFN felt honoured to be a part of. The only people who were aware of it were her Lumos management, Joe, several staff, and now YFN. Catherine’s management team for Lumos was kept small and tight, and their main jobs were not limited to networking throughout the sports, optimising their business and even planning for the future of the company.

In the early morning, they’d all taken a meeting together in the conference room on Zoom. As the meeting began, YFN was surprised to see a few of the individuals had been people she’d met at the charity event. Catherine really did have people everywhere.

“It’s a good thing that it became a necessity to meet.” Catherine admitted. “I think now that we know each other better and you can fully see our goals, we’re going to benefit from it.”

YFN agreed with that. And now that she realised just how much influence, wealth and power were behind the company, her confidence grew as well as her appetite for more.

The meeting went for hours with so many points of business that YFN didn’t really understand. Luckily, they hadn’t expected her to, as her focus was primarily on the actual product they were providing. She hadn’t realised just how much effort went into the secrecy of a company, or the background decisions, compromises, and discussions that she’d previously thought of as trivialities.

The money of course would be noticed by William who knew his wife had a passion project, but didn’t know what. It was her baby. The way she led her group made that very, very clear, and although she wasn’t used to running a company, she was so well-read and had educated herself so well that she wasn’t just a figurehead, she was leading them and not afraid to ask questions to the more experienced businesspeople.

The meeting became interesting when the team unanimously agreed on the expansion of the employees after their successful first round and had already had many candidates lined up which they filtered through together. Catherine encouraged YFN to get involved in that as she actually worked on the ground with them and managed them.

Following that, management went back onto other business details and Catherine used the opportunity to give YFN a phone very similar to her own, and it was purely set up to work with her and the management team. No wonder why she’d always been so quick at replying and holding that boundary between Lumos and her other duties, she’d had an entirely separate phone for it.

With the need for more people, came the eventual agreement for an office space. London made sense as it was central, and most games would be there. They’d already acquired the space and were just waiting for the final go-ahead which Catherine gave that approval for. YFN was grateful that the discussions moved onto design and architecture, furniture and parking which gave her the perfect opportunity to decide how to use the multiple sets of cutlery with her different lunch dishes.

Catherine had laughed at that, and it was warming to see her so relaxed outside of the public eye.

Listening to them talk about the office, she was pleased to see that it wasn’t too far from Lucy’s apartment, knowing it would be convenient, though she knew it would be best for her to stay central in Birmingham for the meantime, just until they became a lot busier. She could deal with the drive until then. Besides, she wondered if Leah and Jordan would be back together anyways. Thinking of that, she messaged Jordan.

YFN: Where's my update??

She was at training so didn’t expect a response until that night, however.

“…background checks.”

YFN’s head shot up. They were talking about background checks for the employees they were deciding on. She wondered how in depth they would be and didn’t have to wonder for long as they began to discuss them in depth. Her eyes widened knowing that they must have done the exact same for her. Catherine noticed that.

“It’s standard procedure, I’m sure you can understand.”

She nodded. Of course, she could understand. They wouldn’t let anyone sit next to or run a business with the future Queen of England.

The day dragged on, though Catherine had made sure they all had several breaks and took the time to show YFN around Joe’s property. It truly was beautiful, yet she couldn’t miss the amount of security who were wandering around the estate, a few with their eyes on the pair.

“Can you…understand why I’m wanting to stay a silent figure in all of this?” She asked gently as they wandered through the garden. It was actually a day of decent weather, the sun poking through the clouds.

“I can, and I respect it. I’m also glad we’ve met. Everything makes much more sense now.”

“Fantastic. Now I know we’ve already agreed to keep this between just us, however there’s Lucy, correct?”

YFN nodded. She didn’t like the idea of keeping anything from her.

Catherine stopped and turned to her, taking her hands gently. She was taller than the little Australian of course, even more so with heels. “YFN…I know what it’s like to have to keep secrets. It’s not fun. I’ve seen it tear relationships and families apart…”

They way she held her eyes and spoke was so… motherly. So royal-like. Beyond that, she could see the pain in her eyes and she wondered just how much this woman had been through.

“I’m okay with you telling Lucy. I don't want your relationship to be affected, and I trust your judgement, but please stress to her to importance of secrecy. One leak and all that we’re trying to accomplish disappears.”

YFN relaxed a little. She could tell Lucy.

“Thank you, Cath. I really appreciate that.”

They were just settling down to dinner when Catherine was pulled aside for a phone call. Their meeting had ended shortly before that, YFN full up on information and motivation for the upcoming work she had to do. She worried a little about Barcelona.

Dory: We may have had sex. Then I cried and kicked her out at 10pm.

YFN choked on mashed potato. How had she managed to choke on the least chokeable form of potato?

YFN: What?!

Dory: When are you home?

Catherine walked back in then looking a little stressed and apologetic.

“I’m so sorry, duty calls back in London. I’m afraid we’ll have to cut this trip short. You’re more than welcome to stay here another day...”

“That’s okay, I can leave tomorrow if that works.”

It did work. Catherine finished her dinner and left apologetically and this time, with a gentle, motherly hug and promises of a bright future working together. It was strange being left in the large house alone with just Benjamin and a few staff wandering around. Her phone buzzed and it was her flight change being emailed, a change to tomorrow morning. YFN checked in and then replied to Jordan.

YFN: I’ll be home midday tomorrow.

She pocketed her phone. Another buzz. She pulled it back out.

Lucy: Hi, little one. Can I call?

[crowgore-throwaway]

Genuine question: Why do so many people hate or dislike Trant Heidelstam?

Like, I see a handful of people play the game and get tired of him (yet they still continue talking to him) and in fanfictions, in the rare occasion he appears, characters talk shit about him.

Like, I get that people think he's annoying (I personally don't feel that way), but why shit on him? Harry is an INCREDIBLY flawed character, but he's not shat on as much as Trant. For what? Having interests?

Like, I know he's middle class or whatever and shelters his (VERY YOUNG) son from violent history. But like... idk??

He has a special place in my heart, I consider him my favorite character because I relate to his passion for art and culture and how he likes getting into deep conversations about his interests.

I might be missing the parts of the community who like Trant, but still, why the hate?

[ai-luni]

BESTIE!!!! CAN we get a NSFW for logan 😭😭

YES YOU CAN! But only because you asked so nicely!

Logan Walker NSFW Headcanons

My silly little silent protagonist <3

Logan is the most loyal person you’ll meet. He can get angry and frustrated and whatnot but truly deep down, he doesn’t have a hateful bone in his body. He is very respectable because he is quick to respect others. He admires and loves hard.

When he sleeps with someone, he tries to find love in it whether it’s real or fake. He craves intimacy. 

He’s not opposed to one night stands. When he can, he might as well. But he can be picky with his partner. If he doesn’t make a connection, he won’t go or take anyone home with him. And that’s that. 

He’s not very talkative so I think he tends to look for someone the opposite of him. Someone who has a lot to say and is very passionate about it. He gets a rush out of the way people’s eyes light up when they talk about a show or game or anything they love. It’s a sure fire way to give him butterflies and make him feel special that you chose him to open up to. 

This carries on into the bedroom. He’s not very vocal, a grunt here and there but he’s likely not going to talk dirty to you unless you ask him to. 

HOWEVER, he does have a massive praise kink. Amen. Pet name kink. Amen. I think he’s an easy switch but when you dominate him, his knees will turn to jelly. 

Tell him how good he makes you feel. Tell him where you like his fingers most. Tell him to go faster. Tell him you feel like you’re going to burst. 

Write him a fucking poem for all I care.

Claw at his back. Yank his hair. Arch your back until not a single millimetre of your back is touching the bed. 

Moan out to him. For him. Do it again and again. He wants to hear your voice rise from pleasure until you're lightheaded. 

Call him kitten. Call him baby boy. Call him your love. Oh my God, yes, YES. OH Logan, oH MY LOVE AH. 

You once left him a voice message just like that and he jizzed in his pants. Had his headphones on in the middle of the mess hall. Had to excuse himself, telling the team you needed to call about something serious and he was worried. 

He actually just had to go clean himself up. 

Most of the time, he’ll jerk off to just the memory of being with you. One specific moment he remembers clear as day still: 

He was on top of you, going at it. Hands bracing himself on the mattress, caging you as you squirmed uncontrollably. Back arched and rolling against him as you panted. Your legs open wide, bent and slipping on the sheets. Yours nails raking his back to his hair, to grabbing the headboard to grabbing his arms. Your eyes were rolled back as far as they could go and your jaw was completely soft and impassive. 

“Keep going Logan AH right there!” You’d squeak and he paired it with a low grunt and a hard thrust. 

“OH You make me feel so good, Aaha my good boy.” And he began to rut into you. So hard, you knew it’s burn tomorrow. 

Another moment he thinks about often is when he got home one evening and dragged him by the collar of his shirt to the bedroom. Pushed him down, undid his pants and straddled him.

He watched in awe, not blinking for a solid minute as you stripped above him. Your mouth twitched as it gathered a pool of saliva to spit into your palm and slowly brought it down to finally wrap your hand around him. 

You bent down as you stroked him, face so close to him he could feel your breath on his dick. Your curved back, ass up in the air and dainty soft hand tugging at his tip. He genuinely thought he had died and gone to heaven. 

He was in so much ecstasy that he let out his loudest moan to date, letting his head fall back as he released into your hand. 

“Come on kitten, I know you got more in you then that. You were doing so well.” You’d said with a sultry voice laced of pure sin and sure enough from that alone, he had a lot more to give. 

(I can’t tell you why I think this but I think Logan would love clean, pretty nails. He prefers a french tip but honestly if they’re manicured and not too long and sharp (however he would love doing little menial tasks just for you if your nails were a little impractical), he would 100% swoon. Especially with them wrapped around his cock.) 

When it comes to initiating something outside of the bedroom, it would have to be you to start it. But Logan is always a game no matter where it is. If you're at base and guide him into a closet, he’ll be on you in seconds. If you tell him to touch you at a safehouse or a supermarket even, he’ll have his hand down your pants like it’s nothing. 

I think as well he would be the most likely out of all the ghosts to be risky in combat. Okay he would never actually engage in something physical or anything that will distract focus on a mission - the mission and your safety always comes first. But if you wanted to tell him what the adrenaline was doing to your body or that he looked hot and you planned to show that to him later, he would actually love it. He would become so determined from it. 

Even if you just gave him a good job, nice shot or well done in the field, he’ll be riding high for the rest of the day. 

Logan’s pretty vanilla. I think the most wild thing he’ll do and actually 100% enjoy is calling you mummy but you’d have to seriously coax it out of him. 

Also I think he secretly has a thing for spit but won’t admit it. When you rest your head on his chest and drool, when you kiss and spit dribbles down your chin, when you attack his neck and it’s left wet and sticky. He gets such a kick out of it.

He had a dream once you spat in his mouth and told him you loved him and long story short, he had to change his bed sheets.

Also he wouldn't of thought about this too much but he once saw Keegan giving you instructions, putting something out on a map. Both of you bending over the table to reach a certain spot or guiding the other's hand.

He has no idea what you guys were talking about but it gave him so many thoughts. He liked the thought that Keegan would 100% know how to please you and it didn't upset him at all. Maybe because he thought you deserved to be with the best and Keegan to him was the best, maybe it was the other way around and he thought Keegan deserved the best kind of pleasure which was yours.

Whatever it was, he would never let himself think about it long enough to find out. It made him feel guilty and wrong. But there would always be the thought in the back of his mind that neither of you would actually say no to the idea either.

This boy does not know when he’s going to cum. It surprised both of you at how spontaneous it usually is. On rare occasions he will feel it coming and he’ll warn you and work harder so you both can orgasm together (which he absolutely loves but I’ll get into that later). But most of the time you’ll do something that just sets him off with no rhyme or reason. 

I think he’s very much the type to almost puke when he’s chewing on food and feels an unexpected texture in his mouth. This is the same but different. Some common offenders to make him cum instantly are:

When you look into his eyes then roll then back

When you roll your hips against him and let out a particularly determined, gruffed grunt 

When you gag on him

When you get so into the moment, you lose your grip and fall onto him or the pillow 

When you get into a chant of “more, more, more, more, more!” 

When you spasm through an orgasm, hips bucking and shoulders never staying in the same place for more than half a second

Like stated before this boy loves intimacy. He’s said “I love you” unintentionally to a one night stand too many times before. He loves the significance of sex and that it’s so easy to give into the illusion of love even when there isn’t any.

Sometimes when he’s feeling particularly sentimental or possessive, he fuck you slowly while cuddling. He’ll make love to you and drive you crazy. And it brings him so much security. He wants to make you feel how you make him feel and so when he can bring himself to cum at the same time as you, he will be so lovesick and just generally more optimistic for the rest of the week. 

Look. The boy just loves you okay. And all he ever wants is to make you dick drunk because you deserve it.

[thecampjuicebox]

Imagine how frustrated Haarlep would be with themself if they legitimately fell for someone. I think that might be the only way to fluster the dirty fiend. Lust and passion and indulgence, they know how to deal with. But love and tenderness and even the smallest inkling of emotional intimacy? I imagine Haarlep wouldn't hate it, just hate that they don't know what to do with it.

I mean, just imagine Haarlep puzzling over someone complementing their wit and just enjoying their company. Imagine Haarlep reacting to receiving aftercare for probably the first time in a long while. Imagine Haarlep receiving a thoughtful gift (like maybe Haarlep off-handedly mentions wanting to pursue a hobby and they later find supplies needed for said hobby gifted to them) with no string attached or any expectation of paying back the gift-giver. I would eat that kind of stuff up as if I were starving.

Anyway, thank you! Sorry for the paragraphs! Rambling over! Bye!

OKAY WAIT

You are truly on to something here. Haarlep fluff is my weakness and I am so so so so so excited to write about it whenever I get the chance. Baby deserves some lovins too!!!! (Might do a few parts to this, but for now I think Tav giving Haarlep a lil bath after sex just sounds so sweet)

Inferno Pt. 1

Pairing: Haarlep (m) x Tav (gn)

Rating: 18+, Minors DNI

POV: 3rd person

Warnings: Fluff, angst, very light smut, mutual pining, trouble accepting genuine affection, slight game spoilers (this fits in a weird spot canonically)

Chests heave in the throws of passion, sweat and sex mixing into a scent cocktail of epic proportions. Skin to skin, mouth to mouth, Tav and Haarlep ride the waves of their pleasure, completely enraptured by the sounds and heat between them. Frantic thrusts rattle the large bedframe holding the mattress up beneath them, Haarlep's wings creating a protective cocoon around their otherwise vulnerable bodies. It's become a normal occurrence, the two of them. Late nights. Early mornings. Enjoying each others' company and the animalistic fuck sessions they've grown so fond of. With Raphael constantly being busy after the fall of the absolute and Tav finding a new home in the House of Hope, Haarlep searched for newness. For "fresh meat to feast upon in trying times", as he put it originally.

Tongues wrestle for dominance in a display of conflicting power, Haarlep's hips quickening their pace to chase his end. Quiet grunts break through the warm air of the boudoir. Breaking their kiss, Haarlep takes a moment to stare down at Tav, a strange and unfamiliar warmth trickling through his limbs. Strange.. But almost comforting. Tav whispers sweet nothings into the cambion's perked up ears as they both finish and topple over the edge of ecstasy, Haarlep collapsing in his usual way against Tav's tired body. Trembling arms snake around Haarlep's torso as the two attempt to find oxygen once more, gentle fingers dancing along his spine, feeling the rise and fall of each vertebra and ridge on his hot skin. Now they lie there. Quiet. Enveloped in each other like lovers, a concept that is all too foreign to the Incubus. Love. Lust; Haarlep has known for centuries. But love.. Love is so new. So fresh, like a deep bite or the stab of a dagger. Sweet words and caring gestures typically feel like salt in the cuts. Not with Tav, however. Everything feels natural with Tav. Organic and gentle. As he relaxes into the being beneath him, his mind wanders. Their quiet breaths and the thumping of their heart nearly lulls him to sleep. A tired Tav slides their way out of Haarlep's grasp to move toward the bath, the sticky residue of sweat and spend coating their skin in an uncomfortably thick layer.

"Mm, care to join me, Haarlep? I hope it's still warm.. Hells, we're in the Hells.. Of course it's still warm."

Tav chuckles sweetly to themselves, their air of comedic cluelessness forcing Haarlep to crack a smile. The incubus lifts his head, eyes narrowing on the naked elf before him. A bath? How romantic. A shiver rumbles down Haarlep's spine at the thought and he stands, sauntering slowly toward the tub, fingers reaching out to wiggle into the eternally hot water.

"Wouldn't hurt, I suppose.."

The two settle their aching bodies into the water and Tav immediately moves closer to Haarlep, fingers searching the edge of the tub for a bar of soap and a rag. Haarlep's eyes flutter closed and he focuses on the warmth around him. The steam. The scents enveloping his senses. The gentle swish of the hot water as Tav moves about the tub. Why is Tav.. The soft brush of a soapy rag across his chest startles Haarlep from his rest, his hands moving out to quickly guard himself from the assumed intruder of his space. Panic creates a flurry in this chest, pupils blown wide. His wings spread out and fling water out of the sides of the large tub. Tav gasps loudly and takes a step back, teeth clasping down onto their bottom lip, hand barely keeping a firm grasp on the slippery bar of soap they'd used to lather the rag. A mixture of embarrassment and shame paints the saddest expression on their face and Haarlep's fluttering heart falls deep into his stomach.

"What in the Nine Hells were you just doing?"

"I was trying to.. Wash you.. I'm sorry, I-"

Regret settles itself into the crows feet at the corners of Haarlep's eyes. He frowns at the frightened elf, wings settling into the water now after their terrifying display just moments ago. Large hands reach out to Tav's wrists and tug them closer, the bar of soap slipping and falling into the tub, a small splash coating Tav's lashes in water. Haarlep chuckles. A sound Tav hasn't heard in such a genuine manner. Is he upset? Worrisome eyes lower to the rippling water between them. The reflection of Tav's face on the surface forces their eyes closed anxiously. The rag remains clutched tightly between both hands now, suds and bubbles slipping out through the cracks in their fingers and spilling into the water beside them in a mountain of sweet smelling foam.

"Well don't just stand there. Keep going."

Confusion bubbles up in Tav's throat but they oblige, approaching the sleepy cambion with the rag once more. Little swipes clean the mess from Haarlep's chest and he lets out a content sigh. He's never been taken care of this way. He's never been taken care of at all, as a matter of fact. The feeling is both comforting and so disgusting. He lies rigid now, lids blinking as he stares up at the ceiling, his hands carefully resting on Tav's hips to keep them steady in front of him. The rag moves carefully up his neck now. Gentle strokes swipe away the sweat from the night's previous activities. Pausing for a moment, Tav fumbles for the bar of soap. They huff in frustration as it slips comically out of their hands and back into the water multiple times, droplets of water landing all over Haarlep's chest, face, horns, and wings. He grins and swiftly reaches for the bar, sinking his claws into the slippery surface.

"Gotcha!"

Laughter erupts from the two occupants of the tub. Genuine laughter. Tav carefully takes the soap from the incubus's claws, rubbing the rag around its surface to create a soapy lather. Haarlep retrieves the bar once more and sets it on the side of the tub as a precaution, a grin from his previous laughing fit still lingering on his thin red lips. For a moment, all is okay. The normal rumbling in Haarlep's brain is calmed. Soothed, even. The rag moves along his cheeks to clean them off. Tav's free hand moves around the back of Haarlep's head to direct him to look at them.

"Don't want to get soap in your eyes.."

"Yes, that would burn like, well, Hell."

Another sweet giggle leaves Tav's throat and Haarlep could burst into flames right there, leaving nothing but a puddle of floating ash in the tub where he sat. He adores everything about Tav. Their smile, the shape of their body, their sweet voice. Their eyes, Gods, their eyes. Piercing and gentle, staring right through him. Reading him like a rare old Tome. Most importantly, their interest in him. Not his cock. Not what he has to offer in the sheets. Him. Haarlep's claws gently rake down Tav's sides, earning a shaky moan from the elf's parted lips. Their resolve falters for a moment before the rag makes its way toward Haarlep's wings, rubbing gentle circles around the cherry colored leather skin. Haarlep sighs happily, his tail subconsciously wrapping itself around Tav's plush thigh. The tip rubs against their sex, making their knees buckle beneath them. With a swift tug, Tav falls against Haarlep, his hands moving to the globes of their ass now to hold them tightly against his lap, one hand moving to adjust their legs to wrap around him. Their eyes meet, and it's like the room around them catches fire. Sparks, lightning, flames, all igniting at once. Haarlep's stomach turns.

The unfamiliar feeling rises up again. It burns in his belly. Snakes its way through his arms and legs. Tingles like Weave in his spinal cord. He clears his throat, pressing even further into Tav while his tail continues the slow back and forth friction against them. The sounds he earns from the specimen against him just fuels his fire and he sinks his teeth into the top of their shoulder, little rivulets of blood pooling in the indentations he left there. With a grin, he licks the broken flesh. Tav writhes in his arms in excitement, reaching their arms up to give Haarlep's horns a gentle tug backward, forcing his gaze to fall upon their needy expression. With a huff, the incubus licks his lips, eyebrows knitting together apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I can't help myself.."

"You don't have to. Not with me.."

[ququb444hm]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭, 𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝

part 22 / side-hustling ☆

masterlist

warning(s): *REPOST!!* some bs lore (๑>ᴗ<๑), keiji is the badd guy, profanity +possible typos

half-lidded somber eyes stay glued to the ceiling, fighting the urge to fall into a deep slumber. kozume’s mind continued to replay the conversation he had in the morning with keiji once yn had left his dorm room.

“i think i might like yn,” the sudden announcement took the blond by surprise, his brows knitting together as he tried to let those six words sink in. 

“...again?” his cat-like eyes seemed to pierce into keiji’s soul who was a bit too intimidated to return the gaze. a sudden mixture of bitter resentment, anxiety, insecurity, and even possessiveness started to brew inside the blond. 

“i think i might like yn.. again.” keiji restated, hands tightening around the bag of ice he held against his nose.

a few silent seconds pass by. kozume kept his gaze on keiji, arms now firmly crossed against his chest. “how long has it been since you realized you liked her again? or … could it be you just never got over her since the two of you broke up?” not wanting to sound accusing and have this conversation make things awkward between the two, kozume tried to keep the tone of his voice natural. ‘just a normal conversation between friends.’ but deep down he knew it was already beginning to stir unwanted feelings amongst them. 

keiji hummed, genuinely trying to give kozume an answer, “i don’t know. i really don’t know. it’s just…seeing her so often during volleyball practice and the band…i realized that i missed how we were. i missed our relationship, and i missed her in general. and i know,” he met kozume’s eyes now, deep blue contrasting heavily against a warm golden pair, “the break up was entirely my fault, but sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i was given another chance to show yn that i really am a good boyfriend and that, what happened back then was me just not knowing what my priorities were.”

‘...another chance…’ those two words seemed to mock kozume, unbeknownst to keiji. ‘how long have i known yn and still not been given a single chance?’ of course, none of this was yn’s fault. she didn’t know kozume had hidden feelings for her. she couldn’t have known that he began developing a crush on her in the second grade when she easily beat him in his favorite game that he had been working so hard to earn a high score on. she couldn’t have known that part of the reason he had joined volleyball in middle school along with tetsurou was that he wanted her to see how cool he was, even though he hated it so much in the beginning. she couldn’t have known that he secretly hated when other people started to copy her and call him ‘kozu’ or ‘koz’ because it felt special having a nickname that only she called him by. yn could not have known that kozume had liked her first, far beyond when she started unknowingly reciprocating his feelings because the only people that truly knew the truth were tetsurou and later on, shoyou.

their junior year of high school was the only time, it seemed, that the two had the possibility of ending up together before things took a turn once they entered college. yn began to notice how cute kozume was, she was comfortable enough to even openly say how attractive he was whenever she got the chance, and tetsurou, being the wingman that he says he is, pushed kozume to confess his feelings after seeing his sister show common attraction. unfortunately, the whole thing lasted for a short time as yn grew busy with her passion for the arts and didn’t want to concern herself in a relationship. fast-forward to their sophomore year in college, kozume met keiji who quickly grew interested in yn and persistently tried to woo her. keiji didn’t know kozume still (or at all) bore the same feelings, especially when kozume did nothing to stop the two from slowly falling for each other.

content with even just staying close friends with yn after high school was enough for the blond. or well, that was what he tried to tell himself. in all honesty, he slowly began to resent himself for not allowing himself to be a bit selfish. whenever he saw yn, who was one of his best friends and crush, be with keiji, another friend, he felt everything to be unfair. no matter how hard he tried to get over her, his feelings toward yn felt like a magnetic force, always pulling, luring, beckoning him to be caged with his unrequited love forever.

when he found out yn broke up with keiji, the part of his heart that swore to always belong to her lit up with hope and he hated himself for that. that’s why, even with yn’s current feelings for him, he just couldn’t fully let himself be happy. he knew, because of his friendship with keiji, one of them had to sacrifice their feelings in order to continue being friends. and he tried to force himself to be the one who would do so.

but is that really true? would keiji be mad at him for liking yn?  even if kozume liked her first?  even if yn was the one to break off the relationship with keiji?

keiji cleared his throat, seeing as kozume suddenly went unresponsive and lost in thought. “so, if it’s not too much to ask, could you back off?”

“what?”

“y’know…” the black-haired setter tilted his head, now seemingly looking down at his friend. “because even if i try to get back with yn, she’s too focused on you right now so it’ll be close to impossible. i can’t get her back when she thinks she likes you. i mean, you don’t actually believe that she likes you right?” the question felt like a stab to the chest and kozume couldn’t help but dig his fingernails into his triceps to prevent himself from suddenly lashing out. “and besides, even if you did start to develop feelings for yn in the short amount of time she started ‘liking’ you, it’s just not the same as how i feel for her. i love yn, which is why i’m trying to be better for her so that we can try again and actually work out this time. c’mon kozume, this isn’t something you need a lot of time to think about. i’m the right one for yn, not you. you’re her childhood friend, i thought you were fine with that role?”

the memory of the conversation was put to a stop by a familiar ringtone. finding his phone on the table beside the couch he lay on, kozume answered the call,

"bro, kozu, where are you? practice started like five minutes ago. it's not like you to be late." it was tetsu.

kozume pulled the phone away from his ear to check the time, a tired sigh escaping his lips as he realized he let his mind eat away his awareness of reality. "shit."

"and don't think i haven't forgotten about your little text. what do you mean by 'sorry'? what's happening, kozume? are you okay? c'mon talk to me, i'm like side-hustling as a therapist right now, i’ll even give you a free trial, no payment bro trust. just this once though, gotta pay for my tuition somehow y’know."

"nothing. let coach now i'll be there soon."

"hey wait—"

before letting tetsurou finish his sentence, kozume ended the call and got ready for practice.

part 21 grandmama chocolate cake <- | masterlist | -> part 23 mistake

note(s): im going on a trip in like 2 days for a week n idk if im gonna update when im there but hopefully i do bc lololol ALSO IF U WERE ONE OF THE FEW WHO SAW THE POST BEFORE THIS no u didnt !! :33 +none of the pictures used are mine!!

✩⡱ taglist !! + @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sherryuki-callmeyuki @anny-bah @ast4rg1rl @sukunasrealgf @killed-kiss lmk if u want to be added (msg or inbox)ヾ(･ω･`；)ﾉ

[inimicalarchon]

Explaining my ASPD Empathy

Contrary to public belief, we do actually experience empathy and sometimes so strongly it becomes overwhelming. However overall the struggle with empathy is very real and chronic. And frustrating, at times heartbreaking. When I see people in distress who I do not know the actual response for me is absolutely random. I can be very sympathetic or feel literally nothing for others and their emotional states. I honestly can't understand engaging empathy with people on such a level whom I do not know, who do not know me. I just can't emotionally invest anything in strangers.

This goes deep, in the sense that every day interactions with people who aren't friends or my fiance are almost like NPCs. It's not talking with people on any connective level, it's done without a hint of concern or emotion. I don't spend energy on those I do not know. I just can't do it. It's as if my brain is wired that way. BUT. If we're talking about people in actual need, people who have gone through brutal shit, people who care about the world and even just those who have a genuine passion for what they love. Like other gamers/artists/writers.

But every day people, in fact overall in general other humans are in the background as if they are literal NPCs in a video game. They go about their mundane and insipid life, a day they repeat over and over again for their entire lives mindlessly and like cattle. They care only about themselves and are honestly quite stupid. They have nothing to contribute to anything or anyone else other than to further their contrived and disingenuous fake interactions with everyone to continue their pointless lives. They will never want to be more than what they are, never know people more than on the most superficial terms (they will NEVER know themselves) and likely continue to propogate the entropy our culture is experiencing. So yeah. With those I have bonds with? I still struggle, and I hate this. It's seemingly due to not understanding their feelings outside of how I affect those feelings or how I can interact. If I stop overthinking and just sit down and make myself think from their position without any reference to myself I have no trouble. It does create misery though, because it can come off often as if I am aloof and do not care, and that's not true. It's a struggle at times and other times I just naturally can feel the emotions of close friends and loved ones. Usually if I am going through something, that is DEFINITELY what will always make empathy a struggle.

[slavicafire]

rant with no moral depth or anything that meaningful. not to make sweeping faux deep statements but I think the fact that so many people - and women especially, and cishet women at that - flock to astarion's character with flushed cheeks like he's this suave dominant seductive powerful ideal of a passionate vicious possessive lover just because he says some corny phrases in a low voice and pounces on you the first chance he can (in two meanings of the word) is a way of misunderstanding his character stemming from the fact that they really don't experience enough of the erotic in their lives.

and I'm not saying this as a way to demean their experience or hate on someone's personal choices and interpretations of, you know, a video game character in a roleplaying game. I'm saying this as someone who genuinely likes astarion because he's not any of the things that the mainstream "bought this game only to get fucked by the vampire boyfriend" seem to favour in him - and also I'm saying this because I believe everyone should be able to experience a lot of eroticism in their lives.

if daydreaming about the version of astarion that isn't a sad heap of insecurity and loneliness does let you embark on the search of the erotic in your life, then I guess good for you - it's a start. it just makes me a bit sad that the main impression I get from this is that these people - again, mostly cishet women - just really don't explore their own sexuality much and instead focus too much and too easily on a rather shallow and immediate impression of a character. in this case, this would be entirely the impression astarion was supposed to make on the victims about to be lured to cazador's lair - an impression that's supposed to be very quickly dispersed and disbelieved by the player character in game, instead of being fixated on through 60+hours of gameplay. because yes, being horny for astarion is perfectly valid (and intended) - I just personally think one could be horny about him in an entirely different way, and it is sad to think of the level of eroticism in their lives if one cheesy horny phrase ending in "my darling" overwhelms these women with lust.

but, at the end of the day, to each their own - and this rant is just a rant and a subjective perspective of one rather opinionated person unable to understand the bulk of cishet experience. don't mind me.

but, also, as a parting sentiment: do experience more erotic and horny and strange in your life. search for it, see where it gets you. how it gets you - and how it gets you off, too.

[maranigai]

character ask: ornstein?

(also unrelated, i would like to hear if you have any thoughts about dragonslayer armour)

Honestly, my only thought about the Armour is that its original owner was that one dragonslayer from the Sacred Oath item description (you know, the guy who presumably served NK and Ornstein) and was probably executed by Gwyn after NK's betrayal, but I never had any deep headcanons about them.

Unlike Ornstein, heh, the man has been my favourite DS paper doll for ages, so...

favorite thing about them

His relationships with NK, but as far as I know, my perception of said relationships is... not exactly common in the fandom. You see, I hc that NK was everything to Ornstein before his betrayal. The master, the tutor, the god - an entire life in one person. And then he left without taking Ornstein with him, leaving him alone to deal with Gwyn's rage and the consequences of betrayal. This was what broke Ornstein as a person, entirely - and what he never forgave NK for. So yes, even after the betrayal, Ornstein still saw NK as his only true lord, the person he had sworn his soul and flesh to - but he hated him with passion, for the lies, for the abandonment, for that damned sacred oath and the impossibility of getting freedom from it. Ornstein had hated NK for so long and lost so much to this hatred that when he finally met NK, finally learned that he was genuinely sorry for leaving him... to Ornstein, it didn't matter anymore, because nothing really mattered. And even when NK freed him after all, it still didn't matter. To me, their story is one of caged loyalty, hollow love and betrayed trust without redemption; I admit this is a more tragic take on them, but I love it this way.

least favorite thing about them

Ornstein as a character consists mostly of my own headcanons, so obviously I like them all lol. But what I don't like is the lack of a normal one-on-one bossfight against him and no, Old Fanservisslayer from ds2 does not count. I mean, come on FromSoft, he's the bloody captain of the Gwyn's four knights, he could easily be on the same level of a fight as Gael or phase 3 Friede, and he's a recurring character in every game of the trilogy, you could easily fit him in as a proper boss somewhere in ds3! Pls sign my 8 year old petition to replace the Ancient Wyvern at the Archdragon Peak with Ornstein.

favorite line

The man doesn't have any lines in canon, so I'll reference my own fanfiction because I can.

Some oaths can only be broken by death, master. And I’ve been walking here for too long.

brOTP

Two of them, actually. The first one is Artorias, who once saw the broken ruin of a man consumed with paranoia and hatred and decided that screw it, this guy is friend shaped and needs an emotional support (cheers for him for at least partly restoring Ornstein's faith in people after NK's betrayal). The second one is Gwynevere, who was there when her brother first brought his new apprentice to Anor Londo, and remained by his side throughout the ages, untill the final days of the final apocalypse in Lothric kingdom. So yeah, Artorias was the one who helped Ornstein not to fall into the despair, at least for a while, but Gwynevere was the only one who actually knew him as a person.

OTP

Surprisingly, Ciaran, in some unhealthy "enemies with benefits" type of relationships. Ciaran doesn't trust him and thinks he's a traitor like his liege who somehow gained Gwyn's forgiveness only to betray him later, but this also means she doesn't care much about Ornstein as a man with actual emotions, and doesn't feel guilty for using his company to distract herself from her own tragic unrequited love for Artorias. Ornstein himself appreciates her brutally honest approach and, frankly, is lonely and broken enough to accept even this surrogate of intimacy. So yeah, if you think this pairing is some sort of fucked up angst, you're correct, it is.

nOTP

Gwyndolin. I hc their relationships to be cold. Very, very cold. For Ornstein, Gwyndolin is a boy who's trying to play for his master without having any actual right to it - and Ornstein is sick of having masters. For Gwyndolin, Ornstein is a dangerous beast on a very thin chain, basically uncontrollable and unpredictable. So when Ornstein left Anor Londo, it was a moment of relief for both of them.

random headcanon

Ornstein was a ringed knight before NK noticed him and took him on as an apprentice. For this reason, he was always out of place in both Anor Londo and human lands, even before NK's betrayal.

unpopular opinion

I believe, my hcs on his personality in general? My Ornstein is cold, paranoid and bitter man with no trust in people and very little personal devotion to the gods of Anor Londo. He's not a completely emotionless monster of course, but he's still far more morally dark than most other versions I've seen in the fandom.

song i associate with them

I failed to pick only one, mea culpa.

Лора Бочарова - О Магии и Предательстве (but I couldn't find this thing on youtube in remotely descent quality, so without the link, sorry)

Мельница - Рукописи

Мельница - Кащей

favorite picture of them

This art by azotho

[starlit-mansion]

I've been rewatching a couple older hbomb videos and hey

halcyon dreams: the legacy of dragon's lair watches a lot more like a dry run of the oof noise video than i remember. it is a deep dive into an obscure section of video game history, complete with its own misattribution to a famous studio head. it's fun, both on its own terms as a spectacular technological failure that was a bit too ahead of its time, and as a running thread within harry's ouvre.

outsiders: how to adapt h.p. lovecraft in the 21st century is. well, it feels very weird because in a way. it reads a lot more like somerton's work than i would have expected, while predating it entirely (i think. it's a five year old video and well. i can't check somerton's timestamps cause he did the dirty delete). harry is darkly and thematically lit, addressing the camera straight on without the high-energy that his other videos tended to have, speaking thoughtfully about how queer and marginalized fans of Lovecraft relate to his work despite being hated and feared by the author himself, and that his understanding of the mythos was upturned by a quiet adaptation that centered around a gay man's alienation from his home town loosely based on the shadow over innsmouth. it engaged thoroughly with queerness as a place of vulnerability and strength without inventing some infinitely weak yet unfathomably strong queer agenda. there's no real hint from the thumbnail that it's about queer themes, but that's because harry is doing the same thing that happened to him, creating a piece of overt lovecraft media that might shock the viewer that was here for cosmic horror as a lore element.

i'm genuinely not trying to say that somerton ripped off harry's one video specifically or anything, but it does make if feel more personal, to be reminded that harry did this once, when he had something incredibly personal to say on the subject and years of genuine passion and systematic research to back it up, with intent to reach out to other people who loved and were repulsed by lovecraft the same way he was. and at 1.5 million views, it's not like the video was languishing in complete obscurity or anything, but it's not culturally significant in the way that sherlock or some of the later videos are. people keep making a bit of a joke of harry reminding everyone that he's bi to dodge the homophobia allegations, but people genuinely do not really talk about hbomb as a queer creator, to the point where a good chunk of posters just. genuinely did not know about it. i'm not really sure what to say about it either way, other than... yeah, this happens a lot to bisexuals who don't make their entire brand pink purple and blue, and it's not like. THAT funny to keep using the sonic fandub screencap about a real person who's been out for half a decade, even if it was news to you.