#i hate all of them. every single one. i’m so sick of these privileged men with their misogyny on full display for the world to see | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

suchalonelysunflower · 3 years ago

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The Thunder And The Rain (c.h)

Where The Storm Gathers - Chapter 9

Pairing: Stable Lad! Calum Hood x Princess! Reader

Summary: There’s never a calm before the storm.

Warnings: Angst. Violence. Character death. Illness. Torture. Fire. Being burned alive. War. Language. Some grammatical mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 8.5k

Author’s note: Now there is two more chapters to go and their situation is not getting easier, even I’m mad. But at the same time I’m so happy to be back 💕 Remember that Reblogs, comments, feedback and likes are more than welcome and super helpful to me ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋��🌻

My materialist // my taglist is on the bio!

Book two materialist || Prologue || Chapter one || Chapter two || Chapter three || Chapter four || Chapter five || Chapter six || Chapter seven || Chapter eight

She woke up with a scream choked on her throat, almost jumping out of bed, covered in sweat and a few running tears down her cheeks. What did she dream, she couldn’t remember. She just remembers feeling completely and utterly alone as the shadows took her.

The sounds outside of the tent indicated that everyone had already started their day hours ago. Calum let her sleep in again, even when she told him not to let it happen. With all that’s been happening, what’s losing a few hours of sleep?

Y/N looked around their tent, familiarizing herself with their new environment. Their bed was put against one of the walls, and at the opposite side lay a small desk where papers surrounding the topic of different antidotes were scattered almost in a perfect mess. The chair that Calum uses to rest his sword was now empty, letting her know that her husband was training again and that almost broke her heart. Almost.

To break down was a privilege none of them could afford now. After the loss of Rian almost a week ago, all their energies were centered on the war that was upon them.

When morning came after that fateful night, it was Ashton the one who took the lead. Still injured, still weak and sick; he didn’t even look at the body that lay still in the living room next to the new widow.

“We need to go,” Was all he said with his hoarse voice. His hazel eyes were opened wide, looking over at every single person in the room. And, if they noticed the redness behind them, no one said a thing “They know we’re here, it’s not safe”

After a moment of silence, Calum was the first one to speak up.

“What are we going to do with-?”

“We’ll take him with us,” Charlotte said, wiping up the remains of her tears. She looked over at Ashton but he was quick to turn away from her. Her hand was still stroking Rian’s hair, almost as if she was comforting him after a bad dream “We need a proper burial. He deserves a proper burial”

“We’ll take care of it,” Luke promised “I swear, his sacrifice will not be forgotten”

Ashton closed his eyes for a moment, the veins along his neck trembling ever so slightly. It shouldn’t be like this, it shouldn’t have ended like this!

“Ash?”

The sound of his sister’s voice called him up to the present. Y/N was standing in front of him, teary eyes filled with concern. It only took one look and one shake of his head to say what hasn’t already been said. Now was not the time for questions.

“He would talk about a camping site near one of the furthest entrances of the woods,” The Prince said “We planned on going there to meet with the rebels and the other Kings and Queens. Michael, could you and Calum go there right now and ask for their strongest men and horses to come and help us? After this, I don’t think Richard has anything else prepared for us”

Ashton hated how much he knew his father’s way of thinking. It made him sick how alike they could be in that sense. He knew Richard was basking in their pain, sleeping soundly for he knew how affected his enemies would be. He didn’t need to attack, he’s already won this battle. But, he won’t win the war.

Michael and Calum were on the move almost instantly, not giving anyone the time to protest. They didn’t want to go, but the sooner they left, the sooner they could reassure the safety of everyone. Calum said goodbye with a lingering hug to his wife, no words exchanged between them, but his brown eyes said more than a simple “I love you” could. No, his eyes said more than that; a “please, take care”, “See you soon”, “Come back to me” It became all the goodbyes and more. And, just for a second there, it seemed they were back in the woods, praying for their next encounter.

When they left, Y/N felt the tears gathering in her eyes. But she won’t cry, she can’t. Not when her friend just started to mourn the loss of her husband.

She was near Charlotte in a matter of seconds.

“What do you need?” The princess asked, placing her hand over Charlotte’s shoulder.

Y/N knew what it meant to lose someone, just as she knew that comforting words were not needed in a time like this. Words could only do so much when the pain was still pounding inside one’s heart. And, knowing Charlotte, she was not thinking of her pain right now.

“I need to get Daisy,” The woman said, wiping the last few tears from her eyes “I need to get her ready as well, I can’t-”

“I’ll get Daisy” Y/N answered “I’ll get her and get her bag as well. I’ll take care of that while you take care of yourself and get ready with what you need to get out of here, okay?”

“Come with me?”

Her teary eyes shattered the princess’ heart. There was no evidence of the smiling woman that got them to safety a few days ago. No, those eyes were replaced with unshed tiredness; a mother’s worry; and, a broken heart that was forced to stay put together when everything seemed to fall apart. Y/N has never seen such strength before, and she selfishly prayed never to have to be that strong, ever.

Y/N nodded, helping Charlotte get on her feet, feeling how she trembled with her first few steps. She spared a glance towards Ashton, but his hazel eyes were set on the hard floor, swallowing hard as the two women passed by his side.

The room was now consumed in silence. The beating of the young prince’s heart was the only thing that rang in his ears as he forced himself to look up, clenching the wound on his side as he felt his knees shaking, weak at the sight of the man that laid dead on the sofa. His bottom lip trembled cowardly.

“Fuck,” He breathed, wishing to be able to look away but feeling powerless to do so. He deserved to see it, he deserved to know it was his fault that Rian was dead.

The guard’s face was almost unrecognizable, so far from the man he once knew. Ashton wonders if he’s ever seen him before everything went to shit. Maybe they crossed paths in the castle and he, being ever the oblivious prince, never noticed him. They could’ve traveled together as well, assigned the same mission of traveling to another kingdom to do the king’s dirty work. How many times did their eyes meet and Ashton didn’t glance back? How many times did they stand side by side and never noticed until he was the one hanging on chains in the dungeon?

That man saw him at his worst countless times for months. He saw him weak, bleeding, humiliated in front of strangers. Ashton pushed him away so many times, even when his motives were clear. Yet, Rian always came back, a smile everlasting on his face; risking his life just to give Ashton a piece of bread and reassure him that he could beat this, he could break the cycle and liberate them from his father.

Rian was the only one who believed in him even when he gave up on himself.

“And look where it got you,” He whispered, eyes now shedding the tears he fought so hard to keep inside, “I told you. I told you not to go back there. I asked you not to leave me”

Ashton could still remember the last look Rian gave him. It carried so much more than just reassurance; it carried hope. A hope that Ashton was not so sure he was deserving of.

Rian was the only one who called him “Your Majesty,” The only one that called him “King” Those words always felt too big for him. But, somehow, when Rian said them, Ashton felt capable of filling said title.

Now… what was left now but a promise? A promise he made to a man now dead and gone. A promise he’ll honor.

“With my life,” He swore in front of Rian’s body, kneeling next to it as a last act of honor, placing his hand on top of the guard’s heart “With my life, I promise that I will make it right. I’ll be the man you believed I could be”

The clouds settled over the camping site. Smoke covered the air as makeshift bonfires started to burn, trying to keep as many of them warm and ready. Thousands of men and women walked and ran around in their armors, carrying different emblems on their chests. It warmed Y/N’s heart to see these many kingdoms come together to fight alongside them, even if they were just a few tropes sent instead of a whole army, it was more than they could’ve asked.

The hopes were high inside the campsite, so much so that most of the time it felt like a get-together rather than a war. Smiles and laughter could be heard all over the place, at first, Y/N didn’t get how they could be so nonchalant about everything that’s been happening.

“Some prefer not to think of tragedies in their last days,” Michael told her “Some find the light in the darkest of times, hoping to grasp it as much as they can before the nearing end. Have you ever wondered why even at funerals people seem to smile? It’s because, in some weird, inexplicable way, it reminds them that they are still alive. And now, at war’s feet, they are celebrating that before it’s too late”

Every one of them knew that the battle horn was to be heard in a matter of moments; they knew that every day could be their last as long as they stayed here to fight. And, even if they managed to keep their spirits up, their guard never went down.

After what happened to Rian, they knew that Richard was aware of their presence, in fact, he seemed more than okay with it given that he let Ashton escape. They needed to act quickly, hoping they still have the element of surprise on their side. But they don’t know how much Richard knows, and without Rian to serve as a spy, things were not so clear.

“There you are!”

Y/N turned at the sound of Charlotte’s voice. She was wearing an old, dark blue dress that was mostly covered by an apron. Ever since they reached the campsite, Charlotte has done nothing but work while taking care of Daisy

“I need to keep my mind busy,” She told Y/N “I need to help, just like Rian would’ve wanted. And if I can’t fight, I’ll make sure that the soldiers are in condition to do so”

She has stationed herself near the kitchen tent, helping other new mothers and pregnant women do their part for the war. Y/N stationed near them, helping the volunteer Maesters and kind souls to prepare vials of medicine and ointments for the wounded.

Y/N wished she could do more, but it took Ashton’s, Calum’s, Michael’s, and even Luke’s hard, stern looks to have her back down from that horse.

“You might be capable of fighting,” Calum told her after the tenth argument they had to let her train with the troops “But your ability with medicine is more valuable. We need you alive. I need you alive, Y/N. You can help so many, but you need to stay here”

She hated that his argument made sense, but there was no way of fighting against it. Not when she could take advantage of it. Ever since she started working with the other maesters, she began developing a cure for Michael’s predicament by combining the greatest minds of the entire continent. They just needed one more ingredient that could only be found down in the infirmary of the castle.

When she told Luke and Michael the news, Luke almost knocked her over with a hug.

“It’s not ready yet!” She said while he let her go, eyes filled with tears “It needs tears of roses, given their healing properties combined with the biomolecules of veritalis and the salts of-” She stopped herself when she notice the two men were just nodding without understanding a word “Anyway, using a few of the poisonous leaves combined with all of that, it could counter the effects and-”

“Wait, you have to use the leaves to create the cure?” Luke asked, “But you burned them all!”

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Michael ignored him

Y/N sighed “Five out of the eight Maesters said…”

“Hold on, so it’s not guaranteed?”

“Nothing is guaranteed, Luke”

“But if it doesn’t work-”

“It will work,” Michael said, looking over at Y/N, giving her a slight nod “You believe in this, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Then that’s all I need”

The confidence Michael had in her gave her the push she needed to make this work. His health was not getting any better as the scar kept spreading across his chest, now nearing his arms and thighs. They needed a way to get into the palace as soon as possible to get the last ingredients. Y/N hoped she could bring this up to discussion with the war committee today. But now, seeing Charlotte’s worried face, she wasn’t so sure she could do that.

“I was coming to get you, but you weren’t at the infirmary tent,” Charlotte said with a sigh. The wrinkles on her forehead were now more visible due to all the work she did. They all looked older than they were.

“I was on my way there,” Y/N answered “Calum let me sleep again”

Charlotte shook her head “I don’t think that was on purpose”

“What do you mean? Is everything okay?”

She tried to stay calm, but it was impossible to deny the beating of her anxious heart.

“We’re fine, at least for now,” Charlotte said, but her tone was more serious than anyone would imagine.

“Then, what happened?”

“Someone infiltrated the camp in the early hours of the morning. They came directly from the palace. They refused to speak until now”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. But they are demanding to talk only with the heirs of RoseWood, and that includes you”

To say that Y/N ran across the field was an understatement, she sprinted at the beating of her heart toward the committee’s tent.

The War Committee consisted of the leaders of each troop picked by Michael himself. They were the ones who made the decisions, the ones who planned the attacks and created the strategy that will help them win the war. Y/N begged to be a part of it, but they decided it would be best to put her in charge of the civilians who volunteered to be a part of this war as much as they could. At first, it frustrated her, but when she realized that a war meant more than just fighting in a field, she understood how much they trusted her to take charge of it.

Every day, the committee would meet with closed doors. But today, most of the members were standing outside of the tent with worried faces. Luke and Michael were talking among themselves while Calum stood with his arms crossed, eyes focused on the doors in case anything happened. When Y/N noticed him, she ran to him.

“Calum!” He turned around, a sense of relief crossed his face as he let out a breath, opening his arms to engulf her in a hug “You’re okay,”

“‘Course I am, rose,” He said, looking at the door “There weren’t any threats”

“But the person that came from the palace-”

Calum pressed his lips in a thin line, trying to conceal a smile “They wouldn't hurt a fly without getting hurt themselves”

Y/N furrowed her brows “Then why-?”

Suddenly, a shriek followed by an earth-shattering cry came from the tent, scaring Y/N and making her seek shelter on Calum’s arms as he tried to contain a laugh while the others just looked tired.

“Are they torturing someone there?” She couldn’t help but ask.

“The only one being tortured is Ashton,” He scoffed, shaking his head at his wife’s concerned gaze “It’s better if you see it for yourself, my rose”

With one last confusing look, Y/N walked away from Calum’s arms and infiltrated the tent, her curiosity winning her over.

Inside it was very dark, just a few candles illuminating the table where the committee meets. But there, in the middle of the tent stood Ashton, giving his back to her. It took a moment for her to recognize him with his hair that long and the way his shoulders fell in defeat.

It was almost miraculous how he healed from his wounds after so many months of torture. Some maesters said it was sheer determination on his part to heal and be ready for combat; others claimed that he had an angel helping him; others said that it was the blood of a King running through his veins, powerful and sacred. Y/N was only grateful that he was okay. After months of being apart, she only wanted her brother back.

But now, her brother was standing with his arms crossed and with a hand covering his face, pinching the bridge of his nose almost as if asking the gods for patience as the screams became louder with every step she took.

“Ash?”

The prince turned to her and let out a breath of relief and a desperate look.

“Well, you took your time,” He said, almost in exasperation.

“What happened?” Another scream filled the air, making her cover her ears “Why are they yelling?”

“Wish I knew!” Ashton said over the noise “But you won’t believe this!”

She took cautious steps, eyes set on her brother as she came to view the new arrival. Could it be an enemy that was tortured? A spy sent by her father? Or maybe one of their own that escaped the palace just in time? Her brain was working overload to try and find out who it could be. But, truth be told, she was not ready for the answer

“Willsburg?!”

The screaming chamberlain suddenly got quiet at the sound of the princess’ voice. Closing his mouth as he sat up straight, setting his teary eyes on her.

“Oh, good morning, princess! Nice to see you again”

“He escaped the palace and infiltrated the camp a few hours ago” Ashton explained, standing next to his sister “One of King Alex’s men caught him hiding in a bush. But when he talked to him, Willsburg started to-“ And, then again, a horrible shriek came out of the chamberlain’s mouth as he covered his own ears “Well, that”

“Is he okay?” Y/N yelled over the scream.

“He’s been doing this for hours! Look, any minute now he will-“ Then, just like before, Willsburg stopped yelling and sat in silence “We believe this is a late response to a traumatic event; maybe he saw something he shouldn’t have and escaped the palace because of that. However, I couldn’t get anything out of him because he insisted that whatever information he has, he needs to share it with you as well, in-person”

Y/N didn’t even pretend to fake her shock.

“Oh, I didn’t know you held such respect for me, Willsburg. Thank you”

“Don't get me wrong, Your Highness, you were a pain in my behind” Willsburg admitted “But you’re still the heiress to the throne and deserve to know what your father is up to. Besides, I don’t trust the riffraff you keep as company”

“Well, spit it out, Willsburg,” Ashton said, walking over to the frightened man and placing a hand over his shoulder “You’re safe here, I promise you that”

“Thank you, my prince. But I’m afraid I’m not staying. I would much rather go back to my nation than to stay here a minute longer after-“

The chamberlain’s eyes grew blank once more as his hands went to cover his ears before opening his mouth to scream again. Both Y/N and Ashton cringed at the sound but felt pity toward the man that saw them grow up.

Willsburg had served the royal family for years, even before Ashton was born. He spent his days running around, never complaining that much, making sure that the rules were set and followed, all to favor the King and his family. He was a loyal servant to the core, so the fact that he ran away from the place he had to call home for decades meant that something terrible was going on. Or at least horrible enough to drive an honorable man to the brink of insanity.

“Shall I get him a sedative?” Y/N asked, but Ashton just shook his head.

“Later, we need him fully conscious now. Then, after he gets some rest, he’ll be given a horse and will be able to leave RoseWood” He looked over at the screaming man “You have my word”

Willsburg’s eyes filled with tears as his face contorted into a grimace before a sob ran through his throat, crying desperately while clinging to Ashton’s clothes. Upon seeing this, Y/N went over to the table, grabbed the jug of water, and poured him a glass. Given his state of exhaustion, adding dehydration to the mix might become fatal for the poor man.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” The man wept, eyes shifting between Y/N and Ashton “I couldn’t stop it. He was going to kill me!”

“You’re safe here, Willsburg”

“No, I’m not! And neither are you!”

Ashton exchanged a worried glance with his sister, trying to keep his cool for the sake of Willsburg.

“What happened at the palace, Will?”

“It was horrible, Your Highness. Horrible! There were bodies, bodies everywhere! The people I knew, my colleagues… my friends! He lined them all up, all but me and a few others that could still be of use to him. They were asked to plead loyalty, but they refused! How foolish of them! Oh, how foolish!”

Goosebumps ran through the Princess’ arms, all the people that worked for them, the ones who took care of them all their lives… She remembered all of their names; she remembered the maidens that sewed her clothing, the kitchen staff that helped her sneak out some snacks in the middle of the night when she was younger, the butlers that always laughed with her stories, her tutors, her nannies… Even when her father forbade them to ever have contact with the Princess, isolating her in her own home, she understood what it was like to be afraid of him. She couldn’t blame them for she understood there were bigger things at stake than a young woman’s personal life. But their loyalty never lay with the King.

“He built a pyre at the back of the castle and took us all there. He made his crows hit them in the back of his head, all of them, no matter the age or gender or what their task was in the palace. If they were not with him, they were against him. And I saw them fall to the ground, bleed and cry, thinking that was the worst. Until the crows picked them up one by one and threw them in the unlit pyre”

“No…”

Willsburg started crying again “I was foolish enough to think that the King was being merciful. Thinking that at least he spared them from that hell. But when the crows lit the pyre, they were anything but dead!”

Y/N looked away from him, wiping the tears that escaped her eyes as Ashton swallowed hard, barely able to stomach the man’s cry.

“I could hear them. I could hear all of them! I saw them burn, I smelled their skin melting into the fire. I tried to scream, I tried to run! But there were crows everywhere, watching intently as I did, only they didn’t seem disgusted. And it wasn’t until the silence took over that we were even allowed to retreat to our chambers. I escaped that same night, I couldn’t bear it! I couldn’t bear to think I could be next! If he finds me-!”

“He won’t,” Ashton said with a stern voice, confident in his word but hiding an unnamed rage Y/N was yet to see in his brother.

“But he will! That’s what I came here to warn you about!” Willsburg cried, looking frantically at the two siblings “The king is planning to attack tomorrow morning!”

“There is no way he plans to attack so soon” Michael’s voice rang through the tent, saying out loud what the others were thinking.

The War Committee was dismissed so that every general could go to their troops and delegate their new plan of attack. Now, the six of them; Calum and Y/N; Ashton; Michael and Luke; and Charlotte were digesting the news as they secluded themselves in the main tent.

“The reports that were given to us by the Knights claimed that they were still training the army of RoseWood” Michael continued, going over the map where their positions were established “He cannot possibly have an army in less than a week”

“Unless the army was already ready to attack,” Luke said, absentmindedly as he bounced Daisy on his lap while her mother tried to feed her.

Ashton, who was standing at the other side of the table, hunched over the image of the castle, looked up with a frown.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it,” Luke said, his bright blue eyes going over every person in the room “How long have the crows been working for your father?”

“Ever since he rose to power” Y/N answered.

“Exactly. Now, Ashton, you said he sent you on countless travels around the continent, planting crows in every kingdom to gain some sort of political advantage. But, what if he’s been doing that even before you stepped up to the task? What if he’s been trading crows and scattered them across the continent, all of them with a plan of attack and with sufficient training to create enough chaos that could tilt the balance to his advantage?”

“Then his army would have been training for battle even before any of us was born,” Calum said, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he evaluated the situation.

“Richard gained power with his crows. Not only that but he’s been training them to find the weakness of every kingdom by infiltrating them almost to perfection. If he’s sent, let’s say a dozen crows per Kingdom through the years, and all of them came back for this battle, there isn’t much training to do but just to plan the perfect attack”

“Then why would he recruit new soldiers for this?” Y/N asked, “If the palace was already filled with crows, plus the soldiers, plus the ones that came from all over the world…”

“It could be a distraction,” Michael added.

“Or because it would be hard to fight them,” Ashton answered grimly “Rian said they were taken from their homes and forced to work as soldiers. Richard is a master of manipulation, he would make them fight in the front lines, face to face with the people that know them and love them. They are our neighbors, our classmates, our lovers, our children- They are people from RoseWood who had no other choice but to survive one way or another. The moment our people see them at enemy lines…”

“We won’t know who’s who,” Calum finished for him.

A somber silence fell upon them. It would’ve been foolish of them to think that there would not be any casualties during the battle, but that didn’t mean they were happy with that idea.

“There must be a way we can stop this,” Charlotte said in a whisper mixed with a silent prayer. But neither of them knew how to bring any comfort to the situation.

Ashton shook his head “We can’t stop it unless one of the leaders surrender in front of the others as witnesses. And Richard is not about to yield anytime soon. Not when he has the advantage”

“So what if we take that advantage from him?”

All eyes turned to Y/N. She stood there solemnly, watching over the map and the list of names of every person that volunteered to fight. Her fingers graced the wooden carving on the chair as she looked up to the people who she loved the most, heart pounding inside her chest as she spoke loud and clear.

“What if we bring those men home? All those soldiers who were forced to wear the uniform, they can turn if we give them the chance.”

“Y/N…”

“They had no choice, Calum,” She said, looking into her husband’s eyes with a silent pleading “We can give them that choice, we can bring them home!”

“You’re talking about convincing an entire army to change sides the night before the battle” Michael chimed in “And even if we think it’s a good idea, how are we going to deliver the message to them? How can we know they won’t turn against us?”

“Because you all said it! People don’t want to fight their families and friends on the battlefield. If you think it’ll be hard on our troops, have you imagined what it must be like for them who were forced to turn on the ones they loved just to give them a chance of survival? Most of them are just children playing dress-up and going to fight a war they did not ask for. They are the children of RoseWood, the people- our people, Ash! If they don’t want to fight at all, then fine. They will at least have the choice not to. But we can’t give up on them”

No one said a word after the princess’ speech. Calum and Michael seemed to ponder over her words while Ashton just lowered and shook his head, almost as if he was rejecting the idea altogether.

Y/N turned pleadingly toward Luke and Charlotte, asking them to say something, anything that might convince them to do the right thing. Luke bit the inside of his cheek, giving Y/N a small, unnoticeable nod.

“She’s right,” He said, passing the baby to her mother as he got up and walked over to the table, followed by Charlotte who didn’t want to be left behind “One cannot wash away the blood of their hands so easily, even when thinking it was justified” He looked over at Michael who was already looking up at him with an unreadable emotion in his eyes “If we give them the chance not only will they restrain from drawing familiar blood, but it will also affect Richard’s chances of a powerful army. He will still have the original crows and the ones that volunteered willingly, but it will give us a more fair chance”

“What if no one comes?” Asked Calum, by his face it was noticeable that he didn’t like the idea very much.

“Then at least we tried” Y/N answered, looking directly at Ashton “You’re their King, Ash, act like one. Bring the change our people want to see, don’t repeat the cycle of death and cruelty our father has created. Give them the chance they thought might never come”

If her words affected him, Ashton didn’t let it show. The face that was once filled with emotion and hope, now remains unbothered and unchangeable, leaving Y/N unable to read him as she expected the worst when he opened his mouth and said:

“How are we going to bring them home?”

Y/N thought she might cry as she crossed the table and wrapped her arms around her brother’s frame, holding him tightly enough that the beating of his heart reached her ears.

Ashton gave her a small smile before looking over at the others, raising his brows as if to say “Well?”

Michael was the first to speak.

“We can send a message hidden with one of our spies”

“They’d never believe it” Luke shook his head “They’d think it’s a trap to catch any traitors. It needs to let them know that it comes directly from Ashton, otherwise, they would not even bother”

Y/N opened her mouth, but before she finished taking the breath to speak, Calum widened his eyes and beat her to it.

“I’ll do it!”

A collective of voices rose in an instant, all of them negating his initiative. But Calum shut them all out.

“They will never believe I’d work for Richard. I know the passages into the castle, I know how to get in and out without anyone noticing, and I’ve known most of those guys all of my life. I’m your best chance and before we can discuss this any further, Y/N, would you meet me outside?”

He spoke so fast yet so sure, no one could argue with him before he walked away, leaving everyone speechless.

It only took Y/N one second before storming after her husband, fuming at the thought of him going to do this job without hearing anyone out. She crossed the entrance to the tent and found Calum walking toward the side of the field, away from any prying eyes or curious ears. And, with a huff, she followed after him.

Calum kept walking among the crowd, shoulders tensed and on guard as people passed him by, filled with tension for the upcoming battle. By now, word must’ve gotten out among the troops; everyone had suddenly stopped smiling and the smell of burning steel filled the air. In less than eighteen hours their lives will change forever. In less than eighteen hours, most of them would already be dead.

“Calum!” He heard her calling, but he didn’t turn around. Not yet, not in front of everyone.

“Calum!” The memory of her voice echoing through the woods, how it rang alongside the thundering of his mind.

“Calum!” He couldn’t find her. He could hear her but she wasn’t there. It was the wind again, that damned wind that filled his ears with lies and promised things he’d never have.

Was it a memory or just a dream? What difference did it make when the feeling was just the same? The fear settled within him, the scarring moment of seeing her face filled with tears and being powerless to do anything about it. How could he be so reckless? Dragging her into this thinking that nothing wrong could come with it. Could she ever forgive him for not finding her sooner? Could he ever forgive himself?

What does it all matter now when they were standing near their end anyways?

“Cal-! Umph!”

His arms were wrapped around her the moment he turned around, bringing her impossibly closer to his chest as he relished in her touch, memorizing the texture of her hair and the perfume that she used; the way her hands found their place on his back, tightening her grip; the way in which her chest rose and fell with ease, feeling how her heartbeat became comfortable in the embrace. All the things he’d learn but took for granted. All the things he couldn’t explain.

All the things that he might not get to have, he would savor them one last time.

If the people around them found it strange, or even appropriate for a husband to hug his wife, they didn’t say. They just spared them a quick look and moved on; they all had their own goodbyes to worry about.

After a few moments, Y/N broke the silence between them.

“Cal? Are you okay?” She felt Calum take a deep breath before pulling away from the embrace “Why did you offer to go back to the castle?”

“Could you tell me that if I hadn’t done it, you wouldn’t have volunteered instead?”

And there it was: The question that they both knew the answer to; the one that explained Calum’s rush and assertiveness.

Y/N took a step back, looking at Calum with big doe eyes that served as a reminder of her age. She was still a child, barely twenty-one. They were all children forced to grow up fast.

“That’s not fair”

“No, what’s not fair is you wanting to put yourself in situations of grave danger!” Calum raised his voice with every word, scolding her “We talked about this, Y/N!”

“They are my people, Calum”

“And you’re my wife!”

“I’m more than just your wife!”

“Do you think I don’t know that?!” He yelled, eyes opened wide and filled with tears “Every single fucking day of my life I wake up knowing that you are the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, and it terrifies me to know how easily I could lose you! Don’t you get it? Your life is worth more than I can say and it kills me to know that I can’t protect you!”

“I can defend myself,”

“Congratulations! You’re still not going”

Calum turned around, ignoring the looks of the bypassers as he made his way back to the training field. He could still feel Y/N’s eyes burning into his skull, knowing she was following him.

“So, that’s it?!” She yelled, her teary voice breaking at the end “You get to decide for me because you’re scared of me getting hurt, so I’m to stay here wondering whether you’re alive or not?! How is that fair?!”

“We are not to discuss this any longer-”

“Oh, fuck off!” She said, walking faster and getting in front of him to cut his way. Calum was still unable to meet her eyes “Look at me, Cal. Why are your fears of me getting hurt not the same as me worrying about you?”

“Y/N…”

“I watched you die in front of me! I saw the pool of blood you left that day in the woods, I called your name and you wouldn’t wake up! I thought you were dead for nearly a day and it nearly killed me. I would’ve died with you that day. So don’t you dare say it’s not the same; don’t you dare leave me behind once again. I lost you once and I’m not going to lose you again”

“It’s not the same,” He said through gritted teeth, still not looking directly at her.

“Why?!”

“Because I’m no one!”

Y/N was taken aback by the volume of his voice. Calum has never yelled like that before, but, at the same time, Calum has never looked so broken before.

His shoulders were tense as he looked up at the sky, battling with the tears that were threatening to come out. His hands were shaking and he tried to hide them, not wanting anyone - not even his wife, to know how terrified he actually was.

“If you die, is not just me who would carry the pain” He explained, voice so delicate it could break at any second “If you die, you have a kingdom that will be left without its princess; a brother that will be left without a sister; a martyr that died too young before she even got the chance to live! Y/N, I’ve always known that you were more than just my wife. You’re the hope for a bright future that’s to come. And me? Who will remember a stable lad?”

“Calum, that’s not-”

“I have nothing left but you. I have no home, I have no family. If I lost you, I’ll have nothing. You’re my everything, my rose, and I will do everything in my power to keep you from harm. You have so much left to live for, and I know you’ll be strong enough to keep going after I’m gone. I believe in you, Y/N. I’m devoted to you like a saint, for I have prayed to every god yet none of them care for me the way you do, I owe you my life. And the least I can do is make sure you can live yours fully”

Y/N cried silently at his words, trembling lips fighting against a sob. Calum took a step closer to her, cupping her cheek and placing a small, lingering kiss to her forehead.

“I love you more than anything, my rose” He whispered “Please, don’t let my love go to waste and let me go. I promise I’ll do anything to get back to you”

The words she could’ve said got stuck in her throat as he pulled away one last time, giving her one last look before he went back on his way, leaving the princess standing alone in the field.

The sun was starting to set when Calum came back to their tent, tired and with most of his muscles aching due to training, even if he spent the last hour with the Committee planning how he’ll infiltrate the castle and bring the message to the crows.

“My name is Calum Hood, I come in the name of the rightful king, Ashton Fletcher Irwin. You have a chance to do the right thing, join our fight and get a pardon for treason against the nation”

A bit rehearsed, not something Calum would choose to say to a bunch of scared young men to convince them to switch sides in the middle of a battle. But it was what the committee deemed propped and simple, if they wanted an out, he would offer them one.

The plan was that he would get a few hours of sleep and he’ll leave by midnight, alone. He would enter the castle by the dungeon’s secret passage and get to the soldiers’ sleeping quarters; if he succeeded without getting caught, he would be back by dawn. In the meantime, the troops will begin to move toward the castle, trying to get some sort of advantage on the territory. They will be at Richard’s door before the sun starts illuminating the fields.

Calum knows how risky this is. He knows that entering enemy lines could be considered a bad move, especially when it was clear to all of them that Richard knew what he was doing. If he gets wind of what their new plan is, Calum will be dead by morning.

Still, he had to try. Not only for RoseWood and Y/N. But for all of his friends that were forced to turn on their nation; for all of the families that were broken; and the ones who didn’t make it. If he could bring them peace, if he could bring them to safety, it’ll all be worth it.

It was a noble duty despite its dangers. He wasn’t surprised when Y/N suggested it. If there is something he prides himself with is knowing his wife’s heart. Always so pure and kind, so selfish even though sometimes that drives him mad, it was something he respected and admired. And maybe that’s why he offered to do this job even before she had a chance to do it herself. He wanted to prove himself to her, be deserving of such heart, such kindness.

He feels as though he has failed her so many times in the past, unable to protect her from her father or Jack… he is not to fail again.

With that thought in mind, he wondered where she was. Maybe she was back at the infirmary or maybe she was helping Charlotte take care of Daisy. He thought to look for her, but the moment he sat upon the bed and took off his shirt, the exhaustion of the day came crashing into him.

But luckily, almost as if she read his mind, Y/N appeared at the door.

“Oh,” She said, surprised “I didn’t think you’d be back here”

Calum’s heart broke at the sound of her voice, so fragile and small. She’d never acted like that in front of him before, not even when he found out about the leaves.

“I can leave, if you want,” She offered “I can go and stay with Charlotte tonight or-“

“Stay,” He said way too quickly “Stay, please? I- I want you here, rose. I want you with me if that’s okay with you”

The seconds it took Y/N to answer with a nod seemed like ages to him until she finally crossed the entrance. She was still wearing her apron, the one maesters were required to use when working, and the expression of her face read of tiredness alongside a grim shadow. He didn’t quite catch it then, but it was clear that something was bothering her to the point of erasing all evidence of the smile he loved so much.

“I brought you some tea,” She said, and only then did Calum notice the small mug she held in her hands “I thought you might need strength after training, especially knowing what you’re about to do-“ She stopped herself from going into that topic again “I was going to leave it near your side of the bed and then go back to the infirmary, but-“

Calum got up from the bed and strode over to where she was standing, cutting her off as his hand went to cup her jaw and captured her lips in a tender kiss. The mug on her hand nearly fell to the ground as she got completely blindsided by the action, but welcomed it nonetheless, kissing him back with all of her might and never wanting to let go.

He pulled away for an instant only to kiss her again, and again, and again; getting drunk on her taste and the sweetness lingering on every kiss, humming when he felt her smile against his lips.

“You’re perfect” He whispered, eyes shining in fondness and adoration.

Y/N gave him a sad, small smile “I’m far from it”

Calum shook his head, softly caressing her cheek with the back of his hand.

“You have no idea, do you? How every star pales in comparison to your light and how every rose would beg to be your bouquet. The way birds stop singing when you talk just to hear your voice, and how the sun burns brighter when he’s in your presence”

She smiled, pushing him away playfully as she made her way to their bed “You’re imagining things”

“I’m just describing the truth of my feeling every time I see you, my rose” He confessed, sitting right next to her as he accepted the mug filled with tea “Truthfully, I should’ve done that sooner. Should’ve done that every day of my life”

Y/N rested her head over his shoulder as he drank his tea, watching him carefully as she said:

“I don’t want you to think that I'm not thankful for you, Calum” She sighed, making him look at her, frowning upon seeing tears in her eyes “Let it be no doubt in your mind that you’re the light of my life, my best friend and my partner. I have loved you all my life and it’ll never stop, not even if death tears us apart. You’re more than just your name, you’re worth more than you believe yourself to be, and it kills me that you don’t see yourself the way that I do”

“Y/N…”

“You have saved me in more ways than one, countless times. You had loved me and made me feel deserving of it, even when my debt to you might never be paid. I’m so thankful for you and for all that you’ve done. You’re a great man, Calum Hood, and I’m honored to be called your wife”

Calum couldn’t say anything back as she leaned over for one more kiss. This time it was more urgent, needy, and heartbreaking. It felt too much like the last kiss and he couldn’t keep his mind out of it.

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

She pulled away slowly, almost as if she was being forced to leave the comfort of the kiss. He heard her crying, but Calum could not open his eyes.

“I love you, Calum” His eyelids were heavy, his body almost numbed “I love you so much”

“Y/N, what is…?” His voice was drifting, the sound of the outside world was fading into nothingness as he felt himself fall deeper and deeper.

“Please, do forgive me”

“No…”

And then, it all went dark.

He woke up with a dry throat, almost jumping out of bed with words left unsaid, covered in a cold sweat despite the weather being breezy. What did he dream, he couldn’t remember. He didn’t think he dreamt at all. He just remembers the feeling of some familiar hands caressing his cheek, whispering something too close to an apology before he fell asleep.

There was too much noise outside; horses running and whining, people shouting accompanied by the different sounds of steel clashing against different surfaces. Shadows were projecting inside his tent, shadows of men running around with torches and swords, all of them speaking different tongues that Calum could not understand.

How much time did he sleep? The last thing he remembered was…

Oh. Oh, no.

He jumped out of bed and sprinted outside as fast as he could, barely even putting on his shirt as he ran barefoot across the field, calling her name and crashing against other soldiers as he prayed that he wasn’t too late.

“Charlotte!” He yelled when he spotted his friend over at the infirmary tent “Charlotte!”

The woman snapped at the sound of her name, eyes widening in shock when she realized who had been calling her.

“Calum! What are you doing here?!”

“Where’s-“ He panted “What time is it?! What’s going on?! Where’s Y/N?!”

Charlotte tried to call him down, placing her hands at either side of his shoulders as she helped him breathe.

“It’s past midnight already, the troops are getting ready to leave at any minute!” She answered, but Calum could barely hear her over the pounding in his ears and the echo of a name.

“Y/N- Where’s Y/N?!”

Charlotte blinked up at him “I- I thought she was with you”

Calum fell to his knees in that instant, scraping them against the dirt. His head was about to explode, screaming in silence, calling her name in the dark. He should’ve known, he should’ve known!

She couldn’t. She wouldn’t!

His breath was short and fast, he was hyperventilating as the beating of his heart ran a thousand miles per hour. He failed her. Once again, he failed to protect her.

Charlotte called for a maester, for anyone that could help. But once again Calum blocked the sound, repeating Y/N’s words over and over again in his head, trying to find a way in which he could stop her. But it was too late.

His eyes were staring straight forward, across the trees that guarded the woods he knew so well, at the direction of the castle where his wife was now heading to her death.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @villainorigincal @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @fivesecondsofonedirection @another-lonely-heart t @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @fakebetch9694 @5sos-imagine @SunflowerAngel2123 @perfectnouis @in-superbloom @lukeisstillapenguin @sadcupofcoffee @superstarmarvel @personalmuyverypersonal @cnco.angels @vtte @as-hs-blog @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @lolzkye @weasleytwinscumslut fairytrice @colourfulcal @nibin0912 @hfkait @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththat @ttinahood @lukespitinmymouth @perfectnouis @cncoangelss @darrensos @whywontyoulovemecami @itwouldburnupintheatmosphere @theimpossiblehologramtree @perriexed @abiancajg @yeah-and69 @fckingpernico @multistann @averageantichrist @a-darneddarling @tpwkcth @f-mu @kindahumanbutalsoinsane @plaidshirtyears @ihavenoideawhattodowithyou @bittersweetb4by @aria-grace-scott @thestarsandtheircoffee @bvbygxrl @luisa180206 @xxxlaura @iamdayanaz @flyingburrito123

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mushi-shield · 4 years ago

Video

youtube

Tom MacDonald - "Fake Woke"

I think it's crazy I'm the one who they labeled as controversial And Cardi B is the role model for twelve year old girls There's rappers pushing Xanax at the top of the Billboard But if I mention race in a song I'm scared I'll get killed for it It's backwards, it's getting exponentially dumb It's more difficult to get a job than purchase a gun Eminem used to gay bash and murder his mom And now he doesn't want fans if they voted for Trump We're ashamed to be American, you should probably love it 'Cause you have the right to say it and not get strung up in public As children we were taught how to walk and talk But the system wants adults to sit down and shut up Cancel culture runs the world now, the planet went crazy Label everything we say as homophobic or racist If you're white then you're privileged, guilty by association All our childhood heroes got MeToo'd or they're rapists They never freed the slaves They realized that they don't need to change They gave us tiny screens, we think we free 'cause we can't see the cage They knew that race war would be the game they'd need to play For people to pick teams, they use the media to feed the flame They so fake woke, facts don't care about feelings They know they won't tell me what to believe in They so fake woke, same old, safe zones They so fake woke, facts don't care about your feelings I think it's crazy how these people screaming "facts" but they fake woke Hate their neighbor 'cause he wears a mask or he stays home Has a daughter but his favorite artist said he slays hoes Picks her up from school, music slaps on the way home Censorship's an issue 'cause they choose what they erase There's a difference between hate speech and speech that you hate I think Black Lives Matter was the stupidest name When the system's screwing everyone exactly the same I just wanna spend Thanksgiving Day with food and my family Without being accused of celebrating native casualties We got so divided as black and white and political Republicans are bigots, libtards if you're liberal There's riots in our streets and it's just getting worse Y'all screaming defund the police, y'all are genius for sure They're underfunded already, they're way too busy to work Order food and call the cops, see what reaches you first Segregation ended, that's a lie in itself That was a strategy to make us think that we're trying to help They knew that racism was hot if they designed it to sell We buy up every single box and divide us ourselves They so fake woke, facts don't care about feelings They know they won't tell me what to believe in They so fake woke, same old, safe zones They so fake woke, facts don't care about your feelings Use violence to get peace and wonder why it isn't working That's like sleeping with a football team to try and be a virgin Politicians are for sale and someone always makes the purchase But you and I cannot afford it, our democracy is worthless If a man has mental illness call him crazy, say it silently When countries going crazy we accept it as society Get sick and take a pill when the side effects get you high You get addicted like these rappers dying fighting with sobriety Censoring the facts turns our children into idiots They claim it's for our safety, I'll tell you what it really is Removing information that empowers all the citizens The truth doesn't damage points of view that are legitimate They're tryna amen to a-men-and-women How'd we let them make praying a microaggression? Instead of asking God for the strength to keep winning We cheat to get ahead and then we ask 'em for forgiveness Feminism used to be the most righteous of fights But these days it feels like they secretly hate guys I don't trust anyone who bleeds for a week and don't die I'm just kidding, but everything else that I said is right They so fake woke, facts don't care about feelings They know they won't tell me what to believe in They so fake woke, same old, safe zones They so fake woke, facts don't care about your feelings

#Tom MacDonald #youtube

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chilling-seavey · 4 years ago

Text

Passchendaele WW2 Extension - Where We Were and Who We are to Become

September 12, 1945

Evelyn always whistled when she baked. Maybe it was a bit the piano student in her but it always seemed to brighten her spirits with a little tune on her lips. In her tiny London apartment, she had just slid her own birthday cake in the oven when the phone rang.

She wiped her hands off on the tea towel and hurried to the wall where the phone was hung and picked up the receiver, “Hello?”

“Evelyn.”

It was her mother.

“Oh, Mama, hello. I just put my cake in the oven. I know you suggested waiting until at least the day before but I don’t mind. I was just far too excited-”

“Evelyn,” her mother’s voice was quiet as if she was whispering into the phone and she sounded like she was crying, “it’s your brother.”

Evelyn swore her heart stopped in her chest and she gripped tighter onto the receiver in her hand, “What about him, Mama?”

“He’s come home, darling. He’s home safe.”

“What?” Evelyn choked out.

“He’s home. Charlie’s home.”

Evelyn didn’t need one more piece of information, “I’m on my way.”

She pulled the uncooked cake out of the oven, nearly threw it on the counter, grabbed her purse, and was out the door in an instant. Her legs couldn’t carry her fast enough but the city traffic wouldn’t have been any better so she resorted to running across the sidewalks of London to the train station.

Evelyn made it back to her childhood home on the earliest train she could – clocking in from apartment to porch in a record 45 minutes – and rushed right inside without even a knock. Elizabeth had seen her daughter running up the driveway and had stood up to meet her in the hallway but Evelyn pushed right past her and around the couch to where her brother and her father were sat.

One look at her big brother and Evelyn was stopping in place, her breath shuttering in her chest at the sight of him. He was older, that was for sure, but he wasn’t what she expected. He looked tired and frail and terribly frightened.

Evelyn was exactly how Charles had expected her to look. He left her as a girl of merely eighteen and he returned to her as a woman of almost twenty-five. She was grown now and she was beautiful and it shattered Charlie’s heart to have missed so much of his little sister over the last six years. His quiet crying fell back into emotional weeping and he curled into Daniel’s side shamefully.

“Charlie.” Evelyn whimpered, dropping her purse to the floor and she gently sat beside him on the couch. Her hand hesitated in the air a moment as if she were afraid to touch him but then she set her hand against his arm, “It’s okay, Charlie.”

She glanced up at their father as if needing to ask for permission to console her older brother but Daniel just held open his arm and she shuffled up close. She rested her head on Charlie’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around him, her brave big brother, and let her silent tears fall into the sleeve of his uniform. He had always been there for her for her whole life, Charlie was her protector from the moment she was born, but now he was the one needing her. Evelyn was grown up enough now to understand that…and to understand that no words had to be spoken to show it.

The Seavey’s sat on their couch together for at least an hour; parents holding their two children and thanking God for their safety and for allowing them the privilege of getting through the hardest six years they ever had to endure.

When the initial shock had calmed down, Elizabeth remade some tea and Evelyn helped her bring the teacups and the biscuits into the parlour. The two women paused for a moment together in the kitchen and shared a quick hug and a few tears before returning to their family.

Charlie refused to let go of Daniel and no one dared to ask him to stop – especially not Daniel. The young man rested with his cheek against his father’s chest, right over his heart, and clutched his shirt in his fist until he was creasing the fabric. Daniel only pet his hair and held him close without a word. Elizabeth couldn’t read her husband’s expression as he stared down at their son in his arms.

When Charlie was able, he sat up to have his tea; the china cup trembling in his hand as he lifted it to his mouth to sip carefully. Daniel tended to him without second thought, holding a hand to the back of his head and helped to guide his son’s shaking hand so the tea wouldn’t spill all over him.

“Good boy.” Daniel whispered.

Charlie only whimpered through his next breath and let Daniel set the teacup down on the coffee table. Elizabeth had turned the photographs back around while Charlie had been distracted in his initial return and now he stared up at the frames on the mantle with a flat expression, scanning each one as if it were his first time seeing it.

“Biscuit, Charlie?” Evelyn asked softly, holding out a small square tea cookie to her brother.

“Let’s not rush him, buttercup.” Daniel said gently.

“It’s okay.” Charles mumbled and carefully took the cookie from his sister. He took a tiny bite from the corner and savoured it in his mouth like it was the most delicious yet dangerous thing he had eaten his whole life.

His family watched him silently.

He ate half of the biscuit and then set the rest back on the saucer on the coffee table.

“What do you want to do now, darling?” Elizabeth asked.

“I didn’t mean to worry you.” Charlie spoke as strongly as he could but his voice wavered and broke at the end.

“We know.” Elizabeth tisked pitifully and set a comforting hand on his back.

“I was…I was distracted…” Charlie discreetly glanced down to his hand on his lap where the ring engraved with RB was tucked around his right pinky. The family held their breaths, the three of them knowing who that ring belonged to perfectly well. Charlie continued, “I was distracted and was shot down over enemy lines and…they took me prisoner.”

Evelyn curled up into her brother’s side as he recalled his last few months.

Charlie took a trembling inhale as he spoke to the floor, “They wouldn’t kill us because that would cause their prisoners in British control to be killed and they didn’t want to risk that but they…they kept us in a camp. I tried to write to you…I swear that I did…but…but we weren’t allowed. They barely fed us and they…they tried to treat us like…like we were nothing. I was…I was just waiting to die because a few men starved to death in the night and…and I didn’t know the war was over until the Russian’s liberated the camp a fortnight ago. I…We were in there for months after the armistice and…and I couldn’t write you. I didn’t think…I didn’t…I didn’t have anyone!”

He broke down in sobs, hiding his face in his hands as his whole body trembled and shook.

“Richie’s dead and it’s m-my fault!” Charlie wept loudly.

Daniel pulled his son’s hands from his face and gently but strongly turned him to face him, holding his cheeks in his palms, “You look at me, Charles Christian.”

Charlie blinked away his heavy tears to meet his father’s concerned expression.

“I wish I could have told you this the moment your brother died in your arms but I can only offer this now. That was not your fault.”

“Yeah, it was!” Charlie nodded helplessly, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks. “I was flying…I didn’t help him unbuckle…I could have…I could h-have-”

“Christ.” Daniel breathed to himself, trying to compose himself to somehow offer consolation to his son. He closed his eyes and took a breath before looking at him again. Charlie sobbed, his grown-up face still cradled in his father’s hands. “They have made you sit in this self-decided guilt for far too long. I know it well, Charles. I know it far too well. You don’t have to say one word to me and I know you cried yourself to sleep every night in that camp and I know that despite them starving you, you still refused to eat because the sight of food made you sick. I know that you hated every breath you took because he wasn’t there breathing with you.”

Charlie sobbed louder, nodding quickly.

“And you look at me right now, Charles Christian.” Daniel ordered with nothing but pure love in his voice.

Charlie sniffled as he stared pathetically at his father with his same light blue eyes, waiting for him to continue.

“I will tell you every morning and every night until you believe it; what happened to Richard is not your fault. You are not a bad person because of it and I am damn sure you did everything you could to try and save him.”

“He didn’t let me take him to the nurses station!” Charlie cried.

“But you held him, didn’t you?”

Charlie nodded.

“And you told him you loved him, didn’t you?”

Charlie nodded again.

“And you still remember the things he wanted you to pass on for him, don’t you?”

Charlie nodded, nearly drowning himself in his tears, choking over each breath.

“I know.” Daniel said. “Because you are a good brother and a good man and a good son and you make me so damn proud every single day of your life. Don’t you forget it.”

“It hurts so bad!” Charlie sobbed.

“I know.” Daniel pulled him close and wrapped his arms around his son, pressing a kiss to his cheek before clutching him to his chest. “It’s going to hurt every day for the rest of your life but it will get easier.”

Charlie, a grown man of twenty-seven laid helplessly against his father’s chest, crying into his shirt and clinging onto him like he was his only salvation. And Daniel held him close, not saying a single word, clutching onto his son as if his touch could take away his pain.

He stared over his shoulder to his daughter and his wife, Evelyn easily curling up with her brother to try to console him and Daniel held his two children securely. His eyes raised back to Elizabeth who was crying herself too but she smiled a tight but honest smile to her husband and reached a hand out to set over his one that was wrapped around his son.

“You…” she sniffled slightly, trying to keep her voice quiet for only him to hear, “You are the most incredible man I have ever known.”

Daniel held back his own tears for the sake of his grown-up children and mouthed an “I love you” to his wife which she returned. As the family held each other on the couch, Daniel let his tear filled eyes drift over to the mantle, lingering on the Victoria Cross sitting in its bed of velvet and the framed photograph of his brother smiling back at him.

His worst fear had come true: the evil of humanity wrapping itself around his son’s heart until his joy was suffocated out of him. An experience he swore never to even wish onto his worst enemy.

#✉#daniel seavey

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kainumbernine009 · 4 years ago

Text

I literally cannot do anything else until I get this out.

I’m... really not okay.

And when I say that, I’m not mentally unstable. I say that because I’m tired of waiting on empty promises, I’m tired of never having money in our account, I’m tired of living in a fucking city where half of the white people fucking worship the ground Trump walks on, and where most of the gay community has so much messy drama that it’s worse than middle school. And I went to a rough middle school.

I never talk about my past, because I don’t like to. It sucked. HARD. Being and only child in my family was nothing less than torture, especially as a closeted queer person. We grew up in the white Christian part of Nashville that dominated Music Row in the 90′s and early 2000′s. I played basketball with Alan Jackson’s daughter, and being around famous people was just no big deal. But, my parents decided to leave Nashville after my dad lost his job at TPAC, and we moved down south an hour to the town where the KKK got started (Pulaski, TN).

I had maybe two non-white people in my private Christian school growing up. I was never afraid of Black people, but my parents showed their racist asses quick when we moved there. The KKK has never left America, guys, no matter how many articles you read or studies you do. From 2005 to 2009 I saw a white town show its very worst to the Black community. I’ll never forget the first time I saw a march for “White Christians for Purity” the summer before Obama got elected. The disgust I felt inside was palpable. I had all kinds of friends in school, and I didn’t give TWO SHITS who they were or what they looked like... but I saw children my age, being brainwashed by their parents, that “white” is “right.”

Ever since then, I have been learning and growing about the issues of race. I remember my white classmates using the N word and getting away with it. I remember hearing about the principal at the high school punishing all the Black kids but not the white kids. I remember being invited to a church south of town that was a historically Black church, and how nice the ladies were to me for coming.

But I’ll never forget the racism that the religious groups promoted there, especially First Baptist Church and the 12 Tribes. I’ll never forget how FBC told me that my friend was going to Hell because she killed herself. I’ll never forget my mom telling me not to marry a Black man because of “impure genes.” I WILL NEVER FORGET THE INJUSTICES I SAW WHITE PEOPLE DOING TO BLACK PEOPLE THERE. NEVER.

And thank God, I have shaken the burden of religious guilt, but I still fight against this mentality. I live in a place that’s usually not even 10 minutes away from Trump-humping, sister-fucking, meth-addicted Confederate cunts in any direction. And we’re even closer to the rich white people who silently supported him, upset that their taxes would go up because of Biden.

And in the past four years since Trump got elected, I’ve gotten married, graduated college with honors, started my own photography business, and was making more than my husband there for a minute. I did my own taxes, marketing, editing, and everything. And then I came out as trans.

I lost everything.

I lost my studio. I lost friends. I had rumors started about me. I had people post hate messages on my wall. I had people at my drag shows tell others not to tip me, for whatever fucking reasons. I’ve had bosses give cis people jobs over me, and I’ve had government workers give me second looks when I hand them my license.

It. Fucking. Sucks. To. Live. Here. Like. This.

Oh yeah, did I mention I’m also a witch/medium? I’ve talked to dead people before and have told their relatives things I shouldn’t have known otherwise about their grandparents. Like, this information doesn’t even exist on Google. And I’m attuned to reiki. I’m always aware of what’s happening on at least SOME metaphysical level. This is a gift that I’ve had to go through life developing and learning about myself, with no one’s help but me.

I didn’t even know until I was an adult that I have autism and ADHD.

I’ve taken bullets from people who were about to kill themselves. I’ve yelled at 5th grade music classrooms for doing racist dance moves and appropriating Native Americans (I have a degree in Music Education K-12). I’ve consoled kids in classrooms who suddenly have panic attacks. AND I’ve told horny teenagers to stay in their fucking lane and respect the girls around them. I’ve apparently been an inspiration to those around me, but inspiration NOR exposure pays the bills. I’ve already had COVID, and so has my husband, but I knew that after graduating college that I would never have a fulfilling life being a music teacher in Tennessee’s public schools.

And now that we have COVID, and an orange, small-dicked, pedophilic, rape apologizing, dirty, crusty white president who STILL REFUSES TO CONCEDE, who is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING HIS FOLLOWERS SEND DEATH THREATS TO MY FAMILY, I really don’t know what the fuck else to do other than go burn down all the houses I know of in North Georgia that belong to these Christian sex cult pedophiles and call it a day. My girlfriend unfortunately was born into one of those families, and I know just how bad it can get. In fact, her dad’s lawyer threatened me with blackmail earlier in November, so that was fun!

And now, on December 11, 2020, I’m still sitting here in the same fucking house, doing the same fucking things I’ve been doing all year - trying to get a job and failing horribly. I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS COVID BULLSHIT AND OUR INCOMPOTENT CUNT OF A PRESIDENT! And there’s only ever one other person I’ve ever called a cunt... my own mother.

I’ve lived in many places. I’ve met many different people. I’ve made mistakes, and have grown, but there’s one thing for damn sure that I always make sure to do, every single fucking day.

I ALWAYS try to do better.

In addition to this, I treat everyone with the same amount of respect, unless they have done something directly to me to negate that. If I know that someone believes in something that directly harms me or my family, I don’t even associate with them. I don’t spend my energy on things that don’t need it. And everyone else should, too.

The problem with some of y’all is that you care about the wrong things. Like will Becky text me back or did I get front row seats to that concert, or did I slave my life away to capitalism just so that I can own a Mercedes and have my friends jealous. I’ve had way too many dear death experiences to know that EVERY single fucking day is a gift. EVERY day.

I don’t want to be remembered first for the art I create. I want to be remembered for my character. I want to be remembered as the courageous person who never backed down in the face of adversity. But when you live in a place that already hates you and that is against you, that’s really fucking hard. Trust me. My marriage went from a cis straight passing couple to a white gay passing couple. I’ve seen how people’s attitudes changed around me as I transitioned. I know what it feels like to slowly lose a piece of your privilege you were born with.

So yeah, I kinda get a little fucking upset when I see people saying All Lives Matter, or when I see doctors refusing to treat trans patients in pandemics, or when I see cops YET AGAIN harassing Black people only a few blocks away from my house for no other reason than racism. And at this point, anyone who thinks they know me but only knows what people think they know about me can suck my entire ass and eat ten dicks. I don’t give a FUCK about who you are or what you’ve done. If you treat me or other people with no respect for no reason other than to be an asshole, you’re just plain shit. If you SERIOUSLY believe every little rumor and lie that someone tells about me before meeting me, fuck you AND the horse you rode in on.

What I can’t stand is people doing or saying things just to get a rise out of me or others. I thought we left petty shit in high school. Some of the people that “know” me really need to fucking grow up and grow a pair and either say what they want to my face, or stay mad. I’m tired of playing fucking petty games with y’all. We have a whole ass pandemic to solve.

So here’s the ultimatum... if you agree that Black Lives Matter and that queer people deserve basic human rights, EVEN THE ONES YOU HATE, then that’s the bare minimum to even be a decent person. If you can’t even do those things, then I don’t fucking know what else to say to you.

So NBC, maybe not have John Mulaney joke about my license debacle with my gold van on SNL, and Seth Meyers... maybe HIRE ME INSTEAD of Mulaney because clearly y’all don’t know about the south as much as I do? Oh, and that gazeebo joke with Lee University... I caught that. I may have autism, but I’m not a fucking idiot. I mean. I’m funny when I’m given the chance. And yeah, I’m on a watchlist, but who the fuck isn’t these days? At least all my secrets are out for the world to see, and I have a bangin’ tattoo.

I’m tired of everyone being like “omg, I’ve seen what he can do, it’s fantastic!” or “omg you’re so funny haha” and bragging on me and then NOT FUCKING HIRING ME. I’m TIRED of waiting on something that’s clearly at this point never coming.

I don’t even have testicles, and my balls are bigger than most of the cis men I have EVER met.

So, if you want to help me, or hire me, or get me out to an audition... I’ll be there. But until then, I’m so fucking MAD at some of these producers. Yeah, my mom is a cunt, but she worked in various forms of digital production from the 1980′s until she retired this year. She taught me SO MUCH about directing, writing, shooting, and more. I know how these things are supposed to run behind the scenes. I know what the fuck I’m doing, and I don’t take constructive criticism like a bitch. I actually WANT to be criticized, so I can do even better.

So PLEASE, for the love of Christ... y’all need to get your priorities together AND PLEASE STOP LEAVING ME OUT OF THE LOOP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. Grow a fucking pair and either call me, email me, or leave me alone. It’s really not that fucking hard. Looking at you, Lorne Michaels.

Oh and someone tell my husband what the fuck’s been going on because I’m tired of him gaslighting me about it.

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holylulusworld · 5 years ago

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How to kill your wife – Part 20 – An eye for an eye

Summary: When his father makes a deal with his business partner Dean must agree to an arranged marriage. Hating the thought with every fiber of his body he plans to get rid of you.

Pairing: MobsterDean x Reader, John Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel Novak, Benny Lafitte, Arthur Ketch, Cole Trenton, Asmodeus, Eldon Styne, OFC Christine (Gabriel’s widow)

Warnings: angst, fluff, comforting, daddy!Dean, pregnant reader, implied characters death, blood, violence, gun shots, funeral, grief, sad reader, torture, knife play (non-sexual)

How to kill your wife Masterlist

You always hated funerals. The first one you had to attend was your great-grandmothers. Memories of your grandmother’s tears, her sobs and the smell of the flowers surrounding the coffin haunted you for years.

Then you had to bury your mom. That was the day you swore you never want to attend a funeral ever again. You avoided attending your father’s burial. Dean asked you more than once to say goodbye, but you just couldn’t bear the thought showing your father respect, not after all he did to you.

Dean is standing next to you. His arm slung tightly around your waist, hand resting onto your belly he watches his father checking his eulogy for Gabriel. You are covering Dean’s hand with your own, giving him strength only by touching him. Gabriel was an old friend.

Everyone is here to say goodbye. Benny and Castiel are flanking John’s side, prepared to strike if anyone dares to disturb Gabe’s funeral.

Tears slip down your face as you look at Gabriel’s wife and children. John made sure they are safe, just like everyone belonging to his family. You can’t believe you hated John some months ago. That you thought he’s the big bad guy in this sick game your grandmother and father were playing.

Your eyes drift toward Sam who is holding Eileen’s hand. Praying he will be able to move on and find happiness with her you give him a shy smile and Sam smiles back.

Dean leans closer to you, kissing your hair softly and you close your eyes at the gentle gesture.

When John finally starts his funeral oration, everyone looks at the former leader of this family.

“Friends, loved ones and family…” John begins. “It is an honor and privilege to pay tribute today to a very special person. Gabriel was remarkable in so many ways. He lived his life to the full and touched so many people during his time here with us. Gabriel was always reliable, till the end he protected his family, including all of us. I’m glad I was able to meet this magnificent man and I’m proud I was allowed to call him my friend.” John needs to compose himself before he looks at Gabriel’s wife and children.

“Go on boss,“ Benny whispers.

“We are here to say goodbye to one of our best, to one of our friends…to a member of our family. Christine and her children are part of this family too so we will make sure they are not alone during these hard times. I promise Gabe’s death will be avenged soon. No one will ever hurt my family again. Today I say it out loud…we will take an eye for an eye. Rest in peace my friend, Gabriel…you’ll be missed.” John ends his speech.

There’s a moment of silence as the priest says some words, prays for Gabriel’s soul and you all bow your heads to remember your friend for a moment. A sound, a clicking catches Dean’s attention as the priest gets a gun out to aim it at John.

Benny is much faster. Using his full weight, he tackles the smaller priest to get hold of his gun. Gunshots echo through the air and Dean spins you around to push you down, covering you once more with his body.

Castiel and Sam grab Gabriel’s widow and children along with Eileen to hide them behind one of the parked cars.

Benny is back on his feet after he broke the ‘priests’ neck. Storming along with Cole toward Dean he helps you getting up to lead you toward the bullet-proof limousine.

“Get them away from here,” John yells as more men storm toward the cemetery. Asmodeus is chuckling loudly as John simply shrugs his shoulders.

“Didn’t think you are one to disturb a funeral.” John chuckles as the doors of the church burst open and Michael along with Ketch and ten men surround Asmodeus and his men. “But ya know I’m always prepared. Better safe than sorry, Asmo. This is the end of the line my friend.”

“Arthur, what a pleasant surprise to see you alive. How is your love life? Do you miss Matty boy?” Asmodeus chuckles and Ketch narrows his eyes. Years ago, he would’ve attacked the enemy without thinking twice but now, he smiles at Asmodeus.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking, Asmo. I’m glad to tell you we found your beloved lover and I must admit she’s one hell of a woman. Pure aggressive red-head…well, at least she was till I was done with her.” Arthur says coldly. There’s no emotion on his face right now.

“That so? Need to find a better pussy then. Not a great loss. She was old, boring and too clingy either way. Thanks for getting rid of her for me.” Asmodeus chuckles and Ketch starts grinning.

“Did you hear that, Rowena?” Cole asks showing Asmodeus the phone he’s holding. “I bet now she will tell us every dirty detail about your organization.”

----

“Dean, are you okay?” You ask checking your husband. “Did you get shot, hurt…anything?” Your hands are trembling as you touch his cheek softly.

“I’m fine, Baby Girl. You?”

“You were right about the bullet-proof vest and security. I can’t believe these men attack us during a funeral. They have no shame or honor.”

“Hey, we are fine. No one got hurt. I want you, Eileen and Christine to drive back with Cas and Benny.” Dean says softly caressing your jawline with his thumb.

“I don’t want to leave you alone.” You whisper as a single tear slips down your cheek.

“Y/N, I know you want to be all in but…” Dean’s voice cracks as he knows what will come next. “Dad wants to see blood. An eye for an eye…literally…Ketch will have his revenge and he won’t go easy on Asmodeus. Arthur will avenge his first love and it will get ugly. I don’t want you to see any of this.”

“Call me Dean. Please call me when it’s over. I can’t sit home and wait, worried to hell and back.” You beg and he gently slides his fingers through your hair.

“I promise I will call you…soon.”

----

A pit in your stomach you look out of the window as the limousine drives away.

“Dean and the others know what they are doing, Y/N. Ketch will do this, not Dean.” Castiel says softly but your hands won’t stop shaking.

Eileen is nervous too, you can see the fear all over her face, so you take her hand in yours, squeezing it tightly.

“Our men will be back soon, Eileen. Don’t worry.” You say softly and she nods.

“I wasn’t able to tell him, Y/N…” Eileen sniffs. “I’m…pregnant.”

“Oh my god! Eileen! Sammy will be so happy.” You squeal hugging her tightly.

Your eyes drift toward the children sitting in the car and your wonder. “Where is Christine?”

“You see…” Benny coughs. “She asked us to take the kids so she can witness what Ketch will do…”

“She wants to watch?” Gasping you look at Benny.

“I told her to leave it be, to not watch. John guaranteed revenge. He always keeps his word, honey.”

----

“What is this place? Who’s that guy?” Asmodeus gasps fight against the chains holding him. Hanging from the ceiling, toes barely scraping the floor he looks at Eldon lying on an old mattress.

“This is my dungeon, Asmo. Thought you should see what you turned me into. This is Eldon, one of my favorite toys. Say ‘hi’, Eldon. Don’t be impolite.” Arthur chuckles.

“Hi…” Eldon chokes out, throat dry the man tries to warn Asmodeus but he can’t bring another word out.

“Good boy. Let me handle you some water and food.” Ketch says tossing a sandwich and a bottle of water at Eldon. “He’s barely interested in getting cozy with me lately. Always nagging about ‘I’m not into men…I don’t like you touching me…’.”

“You’re sick, Arthur.” Asmodeus grunts. “What happened to the fine, smart and deadly man I formed?”

“Well, Asmo you took away the only person keeping me going. You killed Matt believing it would make me a better killer for you. Sorry, but this is what I became. A torturer, a killer. I do anything to punish people only to feel again.” Arthur snarls as he cuts Asmodeus shirt open. Not caring he cut deep enough to draw blood.

“You will regret this, Arthur!”

“Ready if you are, Asmo. John, Christine you can come in. I got everything prepared for you.” John walks into the room, alone. “I told her to stay outside. It’s enough to hear him scream, Chrissie doesn’t need to see it, tho.” John sighs and Arthur nods.

“Better this way. I will cut him open like no one before. Any special wishes, John?” Ketch is looking at John, waiting for his order. “This is your endgame, Arthur. I want an eye for an eye. You can have the other one. The rest is up to you.” John says knocking his friend onto his shoulder.

The tall patriarch sits down onto a chair. Even while his stomach churns, he needs to witness every little detail…

“We should get some answers out of him first. After that…I’ll have my way with him.” Ketch snickers and Eldon flinches. “Don’t worry, baby boy. Daddy will not touch this bastards ass. I would never put anything into this rotten body.”

“Sick bastard!” Asmodeus spats, spitting into Ketch’s face.

“Is that all you’ve got, Asmo? Did you believe you can provoke me to kill you? I've waited for years for my revenge.”

----

Pacing around the bedroom you look at Eileen sitting on your and Dean’s bed. She’s nervous, just like you. It’s been over an hour and Dean still didn’t call.

Hands shaking and legs wobbling you want to sit down as the door to your room opens. Stepping inside Dean looks at Eileen on your bed.

“Why is Eileen here and not in Sammy’s room? I bet he’s looking for her.” Dean says and you slap his chest. “Never worry me like this again.” You sniff and he gently strokes your cheek.

“John told us to drive home. He’s at Arthurs place to witness everything. Cole and Michael are with him. Thought you need me here to make you feel safe…” Dean whispers as you rest your head against his chest.

“Eileen! I was looking for you. Never scare me like that again.” Sam pants as he ran through the hallway.

“I need to tell you something, Sam. I don’t know if you will be happy or get mad but I’m…pregnant.” Eileen chokes out and Sam rushes toward her to scoop her into his arms.

“If you excuse us now. I need to take care of my fiancée.” Sam sniffs as he walks out of the room with Eileen in his arms.

“She’s pregnant?” Dean asks. “Yeah.”

“Damn, Sammy and I are good. Knocked our girls up at the same time.” Chuckling Dean looks down at you, a cocky grin on his face.

“I was worried, Dean….love you…”

“I love you too, and the little bean.”

----

“You know, John…Mary always loved me more. It was a stupid decision to choose you over me.” Asmodeus pants as Ketch slides his knife over his chest. He already cut half of Matt’s name into his killer's chest as John clears his throat. “Mary was never interested in you. She was frightened, scared to hell and back. Don’t tell me shit about my wife!”

“Your wife? She was mine before you even laid eyes on her. Mary was mine! Her father promised her to me, but Henry had to interfere and make sure his Johnny gets another toy.” Asmodeus spats and John shakes his head.

“My father didn’t do anything. Mary told her father and grandfather about her fear and the way you treated her at your first meeting. Samuel was a hard man, but he was righteous, and he loved his daughter. He willingly agreed to let me marry her. She loved me, not you. Sick piece of shit.” John yells.

Ketch is busy cut the last letter into the man’s chest, but he doesn’t even flinch. Used to the pain he grins at John.

“You know it was a pity. That night I wanted to fuck her, wanted to bring her away but then the fire happened. What a waste of beauty.” Asmodeus snickers and John nods at Ketch.

“I know all you did was to punish me for loving Mary. For taking her away from you, but she was never yours…only mine. You will die knowing she only had one true love, and this was me, John Winchester. I was her first and only man. Ketch…an eye for an eye.” John orders and Ketch gets one of his special tools…

“What’s that for?” Asmo asks and for the first time, John can hear the fear in the man’s voice. “An eye for an eye Asmodeus. Ketch will use this nice tool to…remove your eyes…have fun, Arthur. He’s all yours…”

----

Outside the room, Christine glances at Cole who is gulping hard at the screams coming out of the room now. His blood freeze as the screams stops, but a moment later the same noises leave Asmodeus lips and Cole shudders.

“What is he doing?” Christine asks.

“Boss said an eye for an eye. I think he meant it literally…Chrissie.” Cole says and Christine nods. “Good…her deserves all the pain Arthur can cause.”

----

“Look at you, Asmo. A brand-new style.” Arthur snickers. “OH, right…without eyes, it’s hard to look at anything.”

“He’s unconscious, Arthur…” John says squeezing Ketch’s shoulder. “End it as you want to. He’s all yours now. Maybe we should send a warning to his friends and allies.”

“The same message he sent to us with Gabe?” Ketch asks and John nods.

“Great idea, Ketch. When this is over you will never have to do any of this. I promised you retirement, you’ll get it.”

“I’ll take the position you offered to me. Mick wants to settle down. I think he deserves this. He helped me seducing Michael to help us once again after all.”

“How’d he do this?” John asks.

“Mick said it’s his secret and I didn’t ask.”

John is walking out of the room, glancing at an eyeless Asmodeus once again.

This way to do business has to end now…the good old times are over…

How to kill your wife Tags

@bitchwhytho, @lizblinder, @xi-i-i-whatsyouremergency, @anathewierdo, @crystallstaircase, @staleve, @the-walking-daryl, @padfoot-siriusly-approves, @just-hurry-up, @tftumblin, @katjackblacksack

Forever Tags

@donnaintx, @screechingartisancashbailiff, @fallen-wolf22, @sister-winchesters99, @mogaruke @the-is13, @helloitsmeamie203, @strayrosesbloom, @thewinchesterco, @hobby27, @kittycatlover18, @gh0stgurl, @marvelfansworld , @sandlee44, @hawaiianohana31, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt, @katpatrova17, @notyourtypicalrose , @heyitscam99, @onethingthatkeepsmealive, @natura1phenomenon, @flamencodiva, @echoesofpassion, @cocklesbelli, @voltage-my2dlove, @fandom-princess-forevermore, @thenamelesschibi, @lauravic, @fandomsrourlives, @wittysunflower, @drakelover78, @lemondropirwin, @lonewolf471, @wronglanemendes, @electraphygelectraphyng , @spnhollis, @void-imaginations, @jay-and-dean, @shatteredabby , @juniorhuntersam, @helpmeluci, @neii3n, @goodgodimaweirdperson, @alltimesamantha, @chonisberonica, @supernaturalonice @stuckys-whore, @shadowkat-83, @officialmarvelwhore, @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel, @wecantgiggleitsafandom, @meganywinchester, @shikshinkwon, @miraclesoflove, @yolobloggers,@guardian-tn, @lu-sullivan, @maniacproffesor, @hollymac79, @straycuties9, @destieladdict-221b, @kayla-2000, @ilovefanfic86, @gracefultrenchcoat494, @babygirls-fav, @sadn0va, @spnwoman @amiquette, @linki-locks11

If your name is crossed out Tumblr won’t let me tag you for some reason. Sorry.

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags

@spnfamily-j2, @supernatural-bellawinchester , @butifulsoul125, @lyinginthegingerlocks, @deans-baby-momma, @hawaiianohana31, @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester, @20gayneen, @janicho88, @thefaithfulwriter, @dreaminemz, @negans-lucille-tblr @sadwaywardkid, @akshi8278, @hhiggs, @midnightsilver16830, @mrspeacem1nusone, @ria132love, @caligraphee, @the-witch-in-silence, @multisuperfandom, @deansgirl-1968, @justanotherwinchester, @jadesupernatural

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anthropologysydney · 5 years ago

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Ch 14 Fieldwork: Power

Make a list of all the relationships and interactions you have in the course of a day: with family, friends, teachers, students, and others. After making a list, answer the following questions for each relationship.

1. Describe the way power is balanced in each relationship you experience or observe.

Sunday- I stayed at Josh’s ouse, went to work, came back to his house.

Josh (who I’m dating)- dating so we have even power.

He’s societally more powerful since he’s male and I’m not, but when in public, I do a lot more of the speaking like ordering stuff, asking for directions, etc. He owns his own business and I’m a poor college student, so he definitely has more financial power than me, but I’m in college and he never went so I’ll be more financially powerful than him sooner or later.

Politically, we negotiate a lot. He likes to use words that are disparaging or dismissive of marginalized communities, and I hate it. But I heard him catch himself and stop from saying the R word to his brother in law yesterday so he’s adopting it into his whole life not just when I’m around. I negotiate by trying to not make a mess everywhere even though that’s just how I get comfortable :/

We established all negotiations through a lot of talking and texting. More comes from him through texts than face to face and as a psych major I can’t help but wonder why men tend to be like that but oh well- it’s what makes him comfortable and works for now. To change the power dynamics, so that he’s communicating with me without me having to lose my mind first, I’ve started acknowledging and praising when he does change the things I’ve complained about. This positive reinforcement has been yielding results as I notice he’s been more open to communicating without a drawn outpreface.

@ Work

Coworkers- I have slightly more power because I've worked there 4+ years and most of everyone else has been there maybe 2 years if not 5 months

Power at y job tends to be organized by job title. Associates are the least powerful because, while they literally facilitate the operation of the store, they’re paid minimum wage, and often bad managers have their free reign to openly disrespect them. Trainers (my job) are associates who know enough about the entire store, to train new employees. We have slightly more power because we know everyone, we work everywhere, we tend to be likeable/ well-liked people, and we get paid slightly more than associates (but this also varies along with seniority). Shift Leads are half-manager positions. They get paid $14.50 an hour instead ofa salary, and they get management privileges and responsibilities like opening/closing the store, managing the money, some scheduling duties, etc. Then there are Associate Managers, actual mangers that get asalary. They are pretty powerful because they can write people up, choose who’s on the schedule, give people free food, etc. The most powerful position at my job is the General Manager who hires and fires everybody and looks over everything.

In this hierarchy anyone with eyes can clearly see the intersections of race, gender, and citizenship at Panera Bread. Many associates who have worked there longer than myself (probably a decade), only speak Spanish and have never been promoted to trainer as far as I understand. Also, none of the managers at the store speak Spanish, so they rely on anyone that does to be their middle person with these associates. As far as race is concerned, Panera Bread is the perfect example of the Snowaps analogy. There are so many employees of color throughout the entire country, but as you get higher up, the employees are whiter and whiter. There is a degree of diversity throughout the Associate Manager level, but in my 4 years, I’ve met three General Managers of stores that were not white men. One white woman, one black man, and one man of Hispanic descent. I’ve never ever seen a non-white District Manager (1 step above General), not have I seen a non-white Regional Manager (1step above District). Most of my coworkers are black, or Latina, but every single person in management, or as a shift lead at my store, is currently a white man. One of the two shift leads became so after quitting three times within the year before!!! So, yeah in the corporation that is Panera Bread here are some intersections of race and gender and citizenship because who do you know that’s not a white man that can quit and comeback to their job 3 times in one year then come back to an undeserved promotion?

So negotiations-wise, I’ve negotiated a base level of respect from everyone over the years. I’m one of the longest-remaining employees and I’m a really good person to have on your side, so I’ve negotiated myself into being seen as like a manager, but without devoting 50+ hours to being inside a Panera Bread at all hours of the night and day. I give everyone I work with the same amount of respect, and they return that energy!

I think the key to changing the power dynamics throughout the company is to ask employees about workplace satisfaction. These issues trickle down to employees coming in sick, (4 people have lost consciousness there while working), employees harboring anger and resentment for other members of the staff, and the very best employees quitting either from being disrespected or undervalued. Once those people at the bottom of the hierarchy have agency, then power should be more evenly distributed.

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melodiouswhite · 5 years ago

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Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde rewritten - Ch. 33

33. Of kisses and good friends

Utterson awoke earlier than usual. Probably because he was dressed, or because someone else was lying in his bed with him.

He didn't even startle, when his own cerulean blue eyes stared into the sleepy chocolate brown orbs of Henry Jekyll.

“Mornin'”, Jekyll slurred groggily and blushed lightly.

Seemed they had woken up at the same time.

Now that was rare.

Jekyll was not a morning person. He and Hyde had that in common, Utterson supposed.

“Good morning, sleepyhead”, he chuckled and caressed the other's wheat blond hair.

The taller man whined in protest and tightened his hug, when the lawyer tried to wind himself out of his arms.

“Henry, it's Monday morning. We need to get up.”

Jekyll grumbled something that sounded dangerously like “Bleedin' Mondays”.

But before Utterson could scold him, he suddenly remembered the events of last night. As a result, he embraced the other protectively.

“Henry”, he sighed, “I'd love to lie here with you all day, but I can't.”

“Just a few more minutes!”, Jekyll begged and gave him a pleading look. “Please don't leave me alone!”

His eyes were filling with tears of sorrow. So the events were coming back to him.

Utterson hated seeing him like this. But what he hated far more was the cause. If he ever came face to face with the bastard who had done this … he wasn't sure, if he would be able to contain himself. Oh, who was he kidding. There was no way he would be able to.

“I won't”, he promised and caressed his Doctor's face.

In a poor attempt at distraction, he confessed: “Henry … I kissed Edward Hyde last night.”

Jekyll frowned: “I know.”

Utterson blushed in embarrassment.

Oh my God, why did I say this, that just sounded so incredibly stupid, why can't I disappear, goddammit, Gabriel, you bloody idiot, is that the best thing you could come up with, why can't I ever just shut the hell up-

The Doctor was looking at him expectantly, obviously wanting him to say something more.

Had Utterson mentioned that he hated this kind of conversation? Because he did.

“And … uh, I don't regret it.”

“I know that too.”

“You … you're not feeling betrayed, are you?”

Jekyll shook his head. “You're not my property. We're not even real lovers. I have no right to get jealous and sulky, just because I didn't get your first kiss.”

For someone who always kept up a facade in public, he was a remarkably bad liar. At least to Utterson he was.

“Henry, do you remember how much I used to despise him?”

“Of course I do.”

“And the promise I made?”

The blond's frown deepened. “Yes. What are you getting at?”

“It was my choice to kiss him. Do you know what that means?”

Jekyll wondered briefly, but then he seemed to understand.

“Oh …”

He blushed and asked shyly: “May I … kiss you now, Gabriel?”

Utterson smiled. “You have to ask?”

They were both blushing madly, when Jekyll finally – finally! – did what they both had wanted to do for so long.

Kissing Jekyll was different, of course.

Hyde's kiss had been beguiling, intoxicating and full of passion.

Jekyll's kiss was sweet, tender and loving.

In a way, both were his first times.

Utterson felt the proverbial butterflies dance in his stomach and smiled into the kiss. For so long he had dreamed of kissing the blond and now his dream was coming true.

It was wonderful.

He could have stayed like this forever, but that pesky little thing called air got jealous and they had to part.

“I love you”, Jekyll gasped. His brown eyes were glowing with happiness.

The lawyer felt a pang in his heart.

He still couldn't say it back.

He loved Jekyll. More than life itself.

But he didn't love Hyde. Which meant that he didn't truly love the other.

The Doctor guessed what he was feeling.

“It's alright”, he cooed and caressed the black-haired man's cheek. “I can kiss you at last. That's enough for me.”

Suddenly he smirked: “You took a lesson from Hyde, didn't you? You're not nearly as clumsy as you were yesterday night!”

Utterson smirked back. “Oh, shut up. And Henry?”

“Hm?”

“We still have to get up.”

Jekyll groaned and buried his head in the other's shoulder.

“You're a sick, cruel man!”

Jekyll wasn't happy that Utterson had to cook breakfast himself.

“Where is your butler?”, he inquired.

The lawyer huffed: “He found a better paying job and quit. I'm currently looking for a housekeeper, but I can't pay a good wage, because the flat and household appliances, food and clothes already devour most of my income. So I do everything by myself. Besides, my grandmother did teach me how to keep house, so it's fine-”

Before he could continue, there was a rapping at the door.

Jekyll wondered, who it could be. He knew that Utterson didn't receive his clients this early.

Turned out it wasn't a client.

It was Lady Summers, who came rushing in, as soon as the lawyer had opened the door.

She looked completely out of herself, her face was red and she was gasping for breath.

“Good morning!”, she wheezed. “Dr. Lanyon told me what happened! Is everyone- was I interrupting something?”

She looked back and forth between the two men.

“No, no”, Jekyll assured her and stood up. “Do sit down, Milady. You look as if you're about to faint.”

Gratefully the poor Lady dropped onto the chair and struggled to recover her breath.

“My coach is in repair”, she gasped, “So I came here on horseback.”

Jekyll frowned. “You rode all the way here?! In the City of London?!”

“I was in a hurry! Do you think that a Lady like myself would (or could) run through the City?”

“But still … riding a horse through the streets of London?!”

“Shut up and tell me everything!”, she snapped. “I didn't come here for an English breakfast!”

Utterson stepped in: “Calm down, both of you. It doesn't matter. Milady, recover first and then we can talk. Henry is right, you're going to faint.”

“Don't be ridiculous!”, Lady Summers scoffed and jumped up, “I'm not going to pass out from something so-”

But before she could end her sentence, she – oh so predictably – fainted and collapsed onto the floor.

Jekyll shook his head. Women could be so unreasonable sometimes!

“Lay her on the couch and get the smelling salt”, he sighed in annoyance.

The black-haired man obeyed.

They held the smelling salt to her nose and fanned her some air.

Soon her ice blue eyes fluttered open and she frowned.

“Did I actually faint?”, she muttered incredulously. “Well, that is humiliating. I came here to check on you and instead you need to tend to me.”

“Well, you brought this upon yourself”, Jekyll scolded her and she glowered at him.

“May I offer you a cup of tea?”, Utterson asked in concern, “Surely you need some refreshment.”

She smiled. “It would be very much appreciated.”

“Thank you for not loosening my corset”, the Prussian said, when they sat around the fireplace a few minutes later.

“That would have been improper”, Jekyll replied with a frown.

“Not only that. It would have made things worse”, Lady Summers told them and explained. “I have these episodes sometimes, when I spit blood. Right now I'm having one, that's why I'm laced tighter than usual. It helps a little. Better to gasp for air than to spit blood and show frailty in front of everyone. I may not be an arrogant woman, but I'm certainly a proud one.”

Jekyll understood that.

It was similar for him and if he'd been in her situation, he would have done the same.

He was surprised that she even entrusted that secret to them.

She heard his thoughts and chuckled: “I've grown accustomed to your presence in my life, Doctor. You should see that as an honour. Not many of my clients can say that.”

He blushed a little.

A privilege indeed. Considering the Countess had known his friends for much longer than him and Hyde.

“But enough of me”, the Lady continued and her face became sombre. “As I said, when I so rudely barged in earlier – which I apologise for – Dr. Lanyon called me and told me what happened. I immediately dropped everything to come here.”

She sighed: “I'm sorry, if I ruined the morning for you.”

Jekyll shook his head. “It's fine. I would have come to see you anyway and sooner is better than later.”

She pat the space next to her. “Sit with me, you three.”

They joined her on the couch.

“Shall I read your mind, or do you want to talk about it?”, she asked gently.

He vehemently rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I don't think I have the strength to talk about it”, he croaked. “I … I can't. So go ahead.”

He saw the familiar flash run through her ice blue eyes.

They widened in bewilderment and she gasped. She looked like she was going to burst into tears. But somehow she swallowed them. And wordlessly opened her arms.

The Doctor allowed himself to fall apart and sank onto her right shoulder.

“It's okay to cry”, she whispered gently. “Let it out. Pour out all of your hurt, anger and shame. It's alright.”

That did it.

He recalled every single thing that had happened two nights ago.

And Jekyll screamed.

Cried into her shoulder.

Blubbered incoherent strings of words, while the Lady stroked his back and cooed words of comfort into his ears.

He clung to her and drank up her sympathy, like he had never been given any before.

In a way that was true.

This little German-born aristocrat, who was just a few months younger than him, showed him the maternal kindness he had never known.

He understood now, why Hyde saw her as a motherly figure.

Speaking of which, he felt his other half stir within him. But when Hyde sensed that Lady Summers was there, he relaxed. It affected Jekyll as well.

Bit by bit, their grief ebbed away.

Her soft, lisping voice and the scent of chocolate and peppermint were soothing.

Finally, Jekyll was just breathing in and out and leaning into her embrace.

For now he wasn't hurting anymore.

“Thank you”, he breathed hoarsely. “I – we feel better now.”

The Lady smiled and gave him a handkerchief to dry his face. “Anytime, Dr. Jekyll. That's what I'm there for, after all.”

Then her face became sombre again. “Do you mind, if I read your mind again? I couldn't quite catch a glimpse of the culprit.”

“You don't need to”, Jekyll remarked, “I can describe him. I remember his appearance clearly.”

Lady Summers gave him a demanding look.

“He looked a bit like your coachman, but taller – about my height. Wild red hair and freckles. And he had grey eyes and a deep voice. Judging by the accent, an Irishman.”

He puffed his cheeks. “I don't think we should mention his nationality to anyone. Knowing the public, it'll worsen their opinion about the Irish.”

Lady Summers sneered. “It would. They generalise everything. Poor Sean wouldn't be able to show his face anywhere.”

Oh yes. Mr. O'Connor is an Irishman too, isn't he?

“Yes. From Skibbereen, to be exact. He was born shortly after the Great Famine.”

Oh dear.

Jekyll remembered that. He had only been a teenager back then. The newspapers hadn't talked much about it, but for some reason people had believed that the Irish deserved it. That the potato blight and the resulting famine had been a punishment from God.

He himself didn't believe in that sort of thing, never had.

“That's one of the things I like about you, Doctor”, Lady Summers told him, much to his surprise. “I encounter so much racism in everyday life, but not from you. But back to the matter at hand. I would still like to get an impression of him.”

Jekyll consented.

But when she had read his mind once more, her eyes widened.

Then her face distorted in rage.

“Him!”, she bellowed fiercely and jumped up, “That measly piece of dirt! It's bad enough that he has the nerve to even return to England and now this! That's it! I will murder him!”

“Wait! Don't let your anger run away with your senses!”, Utterson cried and grabbed her wrist.

“You know that man?!”, Jekyll cried in bewilderment.

She nodded grimly. “Oh, I certainly do. I may forget a lot of things, but there are two things I never forget: faces and names. I only met him twice, but I will never forget him. And Alma knows him too. She will be delighted to hear that he is back, she has waited to get her revenge for twelve years!”

Alma Donovan … her youngest half-sister … that cross-dressing girl, who warned Hyde – oh my god! She warned us beforehand! How could we forget!? And how does she know that man???

“Who is he?!”, he demanded to know, “How do you and your sister know him?!”

Suddenly a new female voice spoke up: “He's me older brother.”

They all whirled around.

Standing in the door frame to the living room was no other than the young Miss concerned. Her eyes were blazing.

“How did you get in?!”, Utterson asked hotly. “How dare you just waltz into my flat without my permission?!”

The red-head huffed: “Sorry! I wanted to check on you three! Also, you forgot to close the door. Don't worry though, I closed and locked it for you.”

She approached them in a few steps. “So he's back, eh?”, she snarled, “Gotta admit, I didn't see that cumin'.”

Jekyll stared at her. “I remember you!”

“'Course you remember me now”, Miss Donovan muttered. “Should've remembered me warning too. Now it's too late. I mean, I knew ye two would forget it, but still. An' yes, I know. Dunno why it surprises you, I'm a prophet.”

Lady Summers glared at her half-sister.

“Firstly, don't rub it into his face. Secondly, drop that nasty Cockney accent and speak proper English.”*

“Alright, alright!”, the younger groaned in annoyance and (Jekyll couldn't believe his eyes) stuck her tongue at the older!

The Lady rolled her eyes and asked: “Why did you come here again?”

“I wanted to know, if he's okay!”, Miss Donovan spat, “I knew what would happen, but my vision was suspiciously blurry, when it came to the aftermath.”

“Listen, Miss”, Jekyll spoke up in a hard voice, “As much as I appreciate your concern … I don't see, how what happened to me and Hyde is any of your business. And I do not care, whether the culprit was your brother or not.”

He felt Hyde's irritation leak through, but right now, he didn't even care. It wasn't like they were in public. And since this girl knew anyway, there was nothing to lose.

She raised her arms in defeat. “Alright, Jesus! Calm down!”

Then she jumped, like she remembered something.

“I forgot! I brought something!”, she cried (lapsing back into Cockney) and put the bag on the table. From it she got a lot of muffins and a bottle of wine.

“Nothing like treats and wine to forget your troubles!”

Lady Summers frowned. “Alma! It's nine in the morning!”, she scolded.

The ginger shrugged. “So what? Call it eight bells**. Besides, we're four people and it's just one bottle. So unless one of these two gents can't hold his liquor, it's not enough to get plastered.”

Jekyll gave into the insanity and shrugged as well. “Actually, I could use a drink or two.”

“Me as well”, Utterson agreed and stood up to fetch glasses, “Everything is just so horrible right now.”

“You know what? Pour one for me too”, the Prussian gave up, “I haven't had breakfast yet. Perhaps it will relax us all.”

“Wow, this actually was relaxing!”, Lady Summers stated, when they were full.

Jekyll nodded and sighed comfortably. “Yes. I'm feeling so much better!”

“My aggravation is gone!”, Utterson marvelled.

“Told ya!”, Miss Donovan replied merrily. “And you is still sober enough to work! So it's all fair game! You know, sometimes us working class folks 'ave the best ideas!”

Before anyone could answer, there was a knock on the door.

Utterson went to see, who it was.

When he opened, he came face to face with a dishevelled looking, bleary-eyed Lanyon. He was hatless and wearing his pince-nez instead of his shades.

“Good morning, Utterson”, he panted, “I came to see … if Hyde and Jekyll …”

“Come in. We just had breakfast. Jekyll is out right now”, the other said gently and ushered his friend into the living room.

Jekyll stood up immediately. “Lanyon! Good morning.”

“H-Hey”, Lanyon croaked, “I … I just wanted to check … if you …”

Before the taller man could say something, he went up to him and cupped his face in his hands.

“Dammit, Henry”, Lanyon choked, “Can you ever not get hurt! You … you …”

He broke down and wept.

Jekyll smiled sadly and hugged him.

“Shhhh”, he whispered, “Don't cry. I'm messed up now, but someday I'll be fine. Of that I'm sure. Do you know why?”

Lanyon looked up tearfully.

Jekyll looked at all of them. “Because I can be sure that you will always be there. For both Hyde and me. Forgive my soppiness, but … I have the best friends in the world. You all are just so dear to me.”

Utterson felt his heart warm and a stupid grin stretched his lips.

Lanyon laughed hoarsely and wiped his tears away with his sleeve.

Lady Summers chuckled fondly.

Miss Donovan just turned away.

The blond doctor opened his arms widely. “Group hug?”

Everyone except Miss Donovan joined in the hug pile.

They looked at her expectantly.

“You too, Miss”, Jekyll invited her. “You knew that we wouldn't listen to you, but you warned us anyway. And you came to see, if we were okay.”

The red-head shrugged and joined them. “Fine. I hardly know ye, but I'm a slut for group hugs.”

“For the last time, drop the Cockney accent!”, Lady Summers scowled, but her younger half-sister just ignored it.

Utterson didn't know how long the group hug lasted, but it was fine.

Eventually it fell apart though.

Lady Summers grinned. “Now to lighten things up a little further. I just remembered something pleasant we can talk about to finish the morning.”

She tilted her head and looked at him and Jekyll expectantly. “Do tell us about your first kisses. You know I'm weak for romance.”

Lanyon and Miss Donovan smirked at them. “Yes, give us the gory details!”

Jekyll and Utterson blushed bright scarlet.

---

*at first I wrote Alma’s parts in the way Cockney would be pronounced. But when I read it, I decided that it would be difficult to read for non-native English speakers (like myself). So I just implied the accent here and there. Just imagine that she’s using a real Cockney accent.

**Call it 8 bells - Victorian Slang for getting drunk before high noon (8 bells).

#The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll #henry jekyll #utterson #Mr Utterson #Gabriel John Utterson #jekyllxutterson #Hastie Lanyon #dr lanyon #oc

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docholligay · 6 years ago

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LESBIAN PROMPT!!! Rei Hino, gay chicken

Welcome to Lesbian Visibility Prompt Day, sponsored by one of my favorite people, @rhiorhino! Be sure to thank her if you like anything from today. Up next is 1600ish words about our favorite will she or won’t she disaster lesbian, Rei Hino.

Mina was an irritating human being, and if Rei Hino could depend on nothing else, there was that. The world might fall, Crystal Tokyo might never come, and they all might fail at their mission, but Mina’s head would still pop out of the rubble to say something annoying, usually directed at Rei.

Among her most annoying traits was the way Mina played what she called ‘gay chicken.’

She would tease the girls by going in for a kiss, or a grope, and laugh as they would inevitably give up first. She bent over in front of Mako, who shoved her to the side and onto the ground. Ami blushed and hid behind a book whenever Mina came toward her with that look. Haruka kissed her once, but couldn’t handle the up the shirt action Mina ried for next, laughed, told Mina she was gross, and shoved her off her lap.

Michiru simply raised an eyebrow and told her not to come one step closer.

But no matter the situation, no matter the girl, Mina always won gay chicken, and Rei hated losing to anyone. She had lost to Mina every single time. She always thought Mina would turn away before their lips met, but she never did, simply smiled, and once, tried to slip Rei some tongue.

Rei smacked her, but felt a pang of loss, again, as Mina laughed.

Well, Rei Hino was sick of her presumption.

A few of the girls had met over at Mina’s apartment, cuddled on the couch that Mina had bought with the funds from the job Rei hated, a bar hostess at a fancy place for businessmen, but as much as Rei hated it, the couch was plush, and the spread of food was lavish, and the drinks were good. So she hated it, but she hated it the way she hated Michiru’s birthright of wealth and privilege: While drinking her wine and eating her food.

Besides, at least with Mina’s job, Haruka could hate it with her.

The show was light and funny, and Usagi laughed loud, and even Rei had to admit that after a few glasses of wine, she was forgetting all about her plan to show Mina who was the boss, even as Mina’s presence became more and more impossible to ignore, the peach-sweet scent of her drifting across the living room.

The show ended, and with a yawn, Haruka rose to her feet.

“I gotta get home. Usagi, you want a ride?” She looked over her shoulder to where Usagi still sat on the couch, “I’m going that way anyways.”

Usagi jumped up, never missing an opportunity to ride on the back of Haruka’s motorcycle, whatever else Rei thought about it.

This room seemed to be filled with people who did things Rei didn’t approve of, and she crossed her arms in a hazy sort of irritation.

Mina walked out of the tiny kitchen in the corner of the apartment. “Thanks for leaving me with the cleanup, bud.”

“Aw, you got Rei.” Haruka handed her helmet and leather jacket to Usagi, “I’ll buy the pizza next week.”

“Damn right you will,” Mina chuckled, picked up a plate, and patted Haruka’s belly, “Like you need it.”

“I just ate!” Haruka curled her arm around her stomach and scowled.

Rei sat up to defend Haruka and her three sushi rolls, eighteen chicken wings, and four beers, but Mina waved her off.

“I’m joking, I’m joking. Go home, you big baby.” Mina grinned as Usagi slipped on Haruka’s jacket, “And make sure you don’t get into an accident.”

Haruka took her keys out her pocket and saluted. “I’ll at least wait till I drop off Usagi.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Usagi jumped over to Rei and gave her a quick hug, enveloping her in the leather and too-long sleeves. “Don’t stay out too late, Rei!”

Rei patted her back. “I’m going home in a minute.”

And she had meant it, too, as Usagi bounced out the door with Haruka. She was going to help Mina put the dishes in the kitchen, she was going to package up the food, drink the last of her wine, and go home. There were things to do tomorrow morning, chores large and small, and she had no reason to be here too late.

There were a lot of lines in the sand Rei meant to draw, that broke against the stubbornness of her own life.

She picked up the other plates, stacking them and shuffling the barely used chopsticks on top of them. Mina was in the kitchen, already running water, and it struck Rei as such an oddly mature thing from her. It occurred to her, in that moment, that she hadn’t known much of Mina’s personal life. Mina talked constantly, but so little of it was really about herself, at least in ways that cut below the surface.

Rei had always lived with her grandfather at the shrine, but Mina had lived with her parents, and then a roommate, and then Haruka, and now, by herself. There was always a sense of brightness and impermanence to Mina, like the sunlight reflecting off water, glittering and brilliant and gone in a flash.

“Rei?”

MIna’s voice reminded her that she had entered the kitchen, and her outstretched hand reminded her that Rei still had the plates in her hand.

“Here.” Rei plopped them into Mina’s hand and walked back out to the living room in her signature quick stomp, gathering up the takeout boxes and putting them in the trash. Not a drop of food had gone to waste, but that happened almost any time someone invited both Haruka and Usagi to a party.

Rei looked around the room. The majority of it was finished, the dishes soaking until Mina washed them, Mina herself drying her hands on a tea towel and giving Rei that lascivious smile.

Suddenly, Rei remembered her mission, and she stood straight, ready for the battle. She wouldn’t lose, not this time, this time Mina would give up, and they would both laugh, and she would tell everyone about the day she beat Mina at gay chicken.

Mina tossed the tea towel aside. “So, headed home?”

Rei nodded. “I have stuff to do tomorrow.”

“Well,” she grinned, “You have to give me a kiss first.”

“Come here, then.” Rei readied herself as Mina came slowly closer and closer, and then her lips were on Rei’s an Rei kissed back, the sense of winning a bright flame within her, the sense of desire a growing, smoldering ember.

Mina did not relent, simply peeked her tongue between Rei’s lips and slipped a hand up onto her thigh.

Rei met the attack with her own parry, grabbing at Mina’s waist and pulling her closer. She felt the heat rise to her cheeks. It was not embarrassment, and it was not want, and it was not fear, and yet it could have been all three.

Rei had never kissed a girl. She did not tell anybody this, the same as she told nobody anything about her life. She told nobody she thought she might be a lesbian, that it wasn’t just something that Mina teased her about, that when she imagined men she was bored and when she imagined women she was afraid, and she didn’t know where that left her.

She had thought to tell Michiru, once. Michiru was the most confident lesbian Rei knew, and seemed so very assured in what she was, and she described her love for women with such nonchalance. But she hadn’t, not yet. Not even after everything that had happened at the cathedral.

Mina began to take off her shirt, and there was no sign of smile on her face any longer, something else having replaced it, something wild. Rei pushed down that strangeness and gave in to the pleasure of feeling her body, guided Mina’s hands to her breasts.

Mina backed her onto the couch and straddled her, arching back as she smiled. “Tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” Rei said it breathlessly, and there was a quiet whisper within her that this wasn’t a game, not anymore, and she wasn’t sure that she wanted it to be.

She closed her eyes as she kissed Mina again, the explosion of her fresh in her mouth. She imagined her on the battlefield, blazing like a valkyrie, sword newly in her hand but there as if she had been born to it. She heard the peal of her laughter as she charmed the waiter in a noodle shop, hair glowing golden under the buzzing neon lights. She was radiant. She was the sun, and Rei was the moon, and they both lit the sky.

Mina touched her. She did not know that she had asked for it, but she had, she could feel that all the way in her soul, all the way from where her back braced against the couch to the way her feet ground into the floor. It was electric, it was unexpected, and it was simultaneously too much and not enough.

She lost herself in the blaze of desire and pleasure and knowing between them, that moment where Rei saw herself as clearly as she ever had, that this was how it was meant to be, that this was what she had always looked for, that this was the power and the glory and the kingdom that she had heard of all those years in Catholic school.

Even here, Rei knew the morning would come. Even feeling for the pert softness of Mina’s breasts, she knew that when the sun rose, the spell would be broken. The moon hid in the daytime. Only the sun could shine with its true strength.

Mina was the sun, and Rei was the moon, and they both served the earth, but only Rei was stuck in its orbit.

But for now, she kissed Mina again.

#It's too late to start tagging for characters #but sometimes I think about it #Lesbian Visibility Prompt Day #a holligay joint #keyofjetwolf

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leswansong · 5 years ago

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Letters To You - A Royal AU

Summary: A story of a Knight and a Princess told through a selection of Letters.

[ A03 ]

To My Loyal Knight,

October, 23rd, XX43

My love, I worry for you, I hear the war is getting worse, I wish there was something I could do to help you, but there is nothing I could do from the confines of my white cage, the lords and ladies of the court are growing frustratingly annoying none of them seem to care about the war down south, they continue to worry over petty little things, I've never considered how sharp the stake knives actually are.

There are some days in which I wish I wasn't who I was, I wonder if you and I would have met, would we have had enough time to form the bond that we did or would we have fallen in love with someone else, these questions plague my mind, more often of late.

I long for the day your able to come home so I could kiss those red lips of yours, the days we spend running through the forest without the weight of the world on us.

But I must confess that I'm writing to you for another reason, one that I hate to tell you in this trying time.

My Father, The king, and lord of the land we call home has started the search for my husband, He didn't even tell me until one of them had arrived, but I must inform you that I put up quite a fight at the dinner table right in front of my intended, I'm glad to say that they retracted their proposal soon afterwards. I won't be able to stave off all of them, I wish this war would end, I wish it would end so that there will be no more bloodshed, I wish it would end so children could have their fathers back, mothers their sons and you, I wish it would end so I could hold you in my arms, I dare not care who sees, I want it to end for you.

I wish I could end this letter on a better note.

Your Princess, Marinette.

-x-

My Dearest Lady,

October, 31st, XX43

Those stake knives have been known to have protected your family from many murders, whether or not they are apart of the same set I do not know but please don't kill them, members of the court, until I return, I wish to see you fight. But if you find that you can not hold yourself back, I know that you want to make them suffer but please make the kill quick.

I wish I could come running home to your loving arms and whisk you off your feet, but I must confirm that the war is growing worse, we lost 24 men from blood fever last night, I've lost count of how many on the battlefield all for a measly 10 feet. This war will need a resolution soon I fear that I will soon join the many numbers of the dead, but I don't wish to talk of war, your letters although short and so far between are my only glimpse of the world outside this war that I now call home.

Your Father searching for your husband is not a bad thing, I made peace with the fact that you will never truly be mine no matter how high up the social ladder I climb, my only wish is that your husband treats you like the Queen you are, but I'm sure your wonderful parents wouldn't let you marry someone you weren't happy with, if they don't I know of a small farmhouse up north were no one would look for you. I'd hate to suggest that you leave your duty to the county but if you feel the need, My Lady.

I passed by a small village today, I've been moved further west closer to bigger fight, we claimed the lands to our north, they seemed to have retreated, I sense a trap being set and I'm the lamb being sent to the slaughterhouse I plan to double back for a few days although I doubt my Sargent will allow me, he will most likely have me shot for cowardness, but maybe I'll fame sickness he might send me back south.

Hoping to hear your voice soon.

Your loyal Knight, Adrien

-x-

My Loyal Knight,

8th November, XX43

I write this letter to you urgently as I need your council, I write this as I myself am still processing this revelation.

You, my Love, came to me in a trying time, My older Brother, named after my father, had passed from a riding accident, his body was never recovered, our enemy to the west claims that he is alive and well, they say that he has married their daughter, the weight of what they say has been backed up by a letter written in his hand and a photo of him and his wife and child, their request is that I give up the right to the crown among many other requests, I wish to surrender to that request but I'm still unsure something seems wrong, if they already had the key to the thone why start a war, I know my parents would have accepted the marriage and gladly called her family but this war, this war has made my once soft parents into people I hardly recognize.

I wish that I could tell you all of their demands it might help you council me better, but I dare not risk it.

I will most likely write another letter before I receive yours.

Waiting for your response.

Marinette

-x-

My Dearest,

11th November, XX43

If you feel as If something is wrong please trust your gut, we know where its lead us before and it had yet to fail us, but I do think it is od that they started a war, I suggest that you do some digging but please My Lady be discreet, I don't want to have to storm a castle for you.

I wish I could come home, it sounds like you need me there.

Currently pretending to be a sick soldier.

Your Loyal Knight, Adrien.

-x-

My Knight,

13th November, XX43

Please don't return home just yet, you may just be my only hope of answers, I need you to stay on the front lines, I may just have a plan, I cannot explain it now i need to iron out the details, I want there to be the least amount of risk involved for you.

Still trying not to kill the members of the royal court.

Your Princess, Marinette.

-x-

Princess,

15th November, XX43

Please tell me that the task you have in mind will be an easy one?

Have you noticed our letters are taking a shorter amount of time to arrive?

Hoping that the quest you plan to send me on will be a short one.

-Adrien.

-x-

Adrien,

17th November, XX43

Do you doubt my abilities?

It certainly seems like it, but I must inform you that is task will be long, it will keep you away from me for many moons.

If you don't want to do it, I'm okay with that, I could always find someone else.

I'm having our letters fast-tracked through the ranks, turns out being the Princess gets you special privileges.

Dreading the thought of attending a ball.

Your Lady, Marinette.

-x-

My Love,

20th November, XX43

I knew that your title would come in handy somewhere.

I do not doubt your brilliant mind, I know that if you were to put your plan into action you would have plan A though to Z.

I am disappointed that the cost of this mission may take me away from you for longer, but if it ends this war I shall do so, No price is too steep to pay for you.

Please tell me that you are going to wear a bright red dress for the ball.

Waiting eagerly for your reply, Adrien.

-x-

My Knight,

25th November, XX43

Just for you I shall wear a red dress, I hope that there will be at least some talk of the war, I can't stand to be in a room of rich pompous fools talking about nothing but the latest fashion, on any other occasion I would love it but not in this dark time, I would much rather talk about the ways to stop this horrendous war.

My plan is almost complete.

I hate to ask you but is there someone you trust, someone who would be willing to put their life on the line. I tried my best to make this a one-person job but it would put too many variables into play, a second person would eliminate so many risks. I need to know soon as it is of great importance.

My handmaiden is growing suspicious of my letters I may grow quiet for a few days, please don't worry about me, I don't want to arouse suspicion from my parents, they seem to suspect that someone holds my heart. Maybe they would approve of us?

I still have so many thoughts that I have no idea how to put to paper.

Currently wondering how to hide these letters.

Your Princess in a tower, Marinette.

-x-

My Love,

28th November, XX43

To hear that you'll be wearing red has me smiling, if it is still fashionable please wear the one that stopped my beating heart, I sadly must inform you that my sister is currently married to one of those pompous fools, but please continue to insult them as my sister is currently too chicken to do it herself she doesn't know the power that she now wields, please remind her that she is now a member of the royal court, not a frightened goat and shouldn't be concerned with what she says unless it is ill against you and your family.

But yes My Lady I do have someone I trust here on the front lines with me; I still consider you my most trusted, but Nino is a close second.

He is still considering the risks as he is the only provider for his younger brothers and sisters, although I believe that he will agree.

There is little to no action here now, it's starting to worry me, others have noticed as well. We can tell something is happening, maybe our enemy is waiting for a reply?

I grow wary every day, I fear sleeping, the silence is deafening. There were days in which I wished that the firing would stop now all I wish for is their return.

I'm going to see if I can return home for a day, I need to return to normalcy for a day.

Maybe I'll see you soon.

Your tired Knight, Adrien.

-x-

Dearest Adrien,

3rd December, XX43

It saddens me to hear how this war is affecting you, the sweet shy loyal knight that danced with a princess and won her heart within a single song now sounds broken and extremely saddened. I wish I could wave a magic wand and bring you home to me but not even my reach extends that far, the best I can do is fill you with hope and my love from afar.

I do hope that you could return home but I know how hard it will be, maybe it will be easier if I go to the frontlines. Do you think other soldiers would be happy to see me? I could disguise it as a morale boost, how well my parents believe that is currently unknown, but I highly doubt we would be able to be alone together, my parents would be concerned about my safety over anything else, I fear that I would cause more trouble than help.

My Parents have considered the deal our enemy has brought of the table immensely as of late, I fear my plan may come too late, I'd hate to stall the resolution of this war but I need time. What shall I do? My heart is torn between a rock and a hard place. What this deal means to our people, I can not begin to describe, it would restore peace for a time but the impact it would have on the poor... it's hard to explain in one letter but I have read and reread the terms, so once again I seek your counsel.

Please see the attached document.

I ask what kind of impact this would have on our people. I also ask that you keep this letter hidden from all eyes, even friends, I cannot express the importance of this letter staying hidden.

I've been inquiring into the lives of, I must express that there is no easy way to say this, My brother's in-laws, I've been stonewalled at every turn. I wish things could be easy for once.

Your friend Nino wouldn't be Nino Layfayette would he?

Patiently waiting for your response.

You Lady, Marinette.

-x-

Mari,

5th December, XX43

It's hard to say how this war is affecting me, I too fear for my health, I'm afraid that this war has already changed me and I don't know how to feel. My Grandfather spoke often of how war changed him I never truly knew how much.

I feel many men here would appreciate your visit, but I too fear for your safety, there are so many horrors that I've witnessed in these trenches, I wish to never expose you to them, but I believe that your parents need to see the effect of this war.

I find it hard to find time to write, we've been under constant fire for the past 3 days, I fear that you may have rattled the right cages, I have a feeling they may be trying to stop you, Just promise me that you'll be careful.

My Lady, please don't sign that contract, the conditions of the contract would destroy this peaceful country, but I'm sure you already knew that. I too find it hard to describe the effects in a single letter.

Yes, My friend would be Nino Layfayette,

I Await your response

Your ever-loyal knight Adrien.

-x-

My Love,

7th December, XX43

Another suiter has come to ask for my hand in marriage, I dread having to meet them. Maybe once this war is done I could present you to my parents as a war hero.

Has Nino considered your offer?

Your Princess, Marinette

-x-

My Dear,

9th December, XX43

He has, he's making some preparations before he officially says yes.

- Adrien.

-x-

My dearest,

14th December, XX43

Please, Mari, tell me the roomers aren't true, Please tell you didn't renounce your claim to the throne.

-Your Loyal Knight

-x-

Princess Marinette,

18th December, XX43

I write to you to ask if the roomers in Paris are true. A simple yes or no answer will suffice.

I only wish to know to quell the uncertainty of my fellow soldiers, not much news reaches us here on the front lines.

I await your response,

Your loyal subject and servant, Lord Adrien of the house Agreste.

-x-

My Love,

21st December, XX43

I write to you on the road to the frontlines, I fear the roomers you've heard a partly true and more complex than you could imagine.

I'm sorry that I left you in the dark for so long, I barely caught your letters before they reached the castle. It has grown extremely dangerous in the capital. I didn't give up my right to the crown, my parents stripped me of it, I fear they are being influenced by someone, so I fled the capital, I'm sure you can understand where exactly I'm headed.

you are the only person I trust in the world.

Please don't worry about me I'm not travelling down the main road, I'm disguised as a nurse.

I'll soon be with you - Your Princess, Marinette

A serious tone doesn't suit you.

-x-

Mari,

23rd December, XX43

You know how I feel about you coming to the front lines, I know I can't stop you but I can urge you to be careful, the roads are dangerous. I hate to think of something bad happening to you.

Please be safe - Adrien.

and yes I know a serious tone doesn't suit me, I was worried.

-x-

24th December, XX43

Adrien, I ask that you turn around.

Wanna Buy Me a Coffee?

Drabble Master List

#SwanSongWrites #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #miraculous #adrienette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #I keep drabbling on #moved from and old blog #adrien x marinette #Drabbles

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nightcoremoon · 5 years ago

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re: Ok Boomer

I'm so fucking sick of the argument "not every boomer is responsible for the recession and saying ok boomer is an ageist slur". shut the fuck up boomer apologist. boomer is obviously very specifically directed towards the slice of rich white cishet christians with money who are responsible for the specific issues that slice of people are responsible for. saying "ok boomer" is not generalizing every single human over the age of 54 and saying that literally every single goddamn one of them is a big evil bastard who deserves to die.

I know nobody will listen to logic based on its own merits so here have some analogies that even the discoursers can't disagree with

when women say "ugh men" or some variation they don't mean that literally every single male human on the planet is a creepy rapist with no social skills or hygiene rituals or respect for women (although terfs legitimately do mean that but they don't mean men they mean all people who reflect Eurocentric ideals of masculinity and maleness but they're dumb n ugly and don't count). we mean that, at its core, often times men benefit from male privilege, perform misogynist microaggressions, do annoying things that testosterone makes you do, and behave in bad ways that society being what it is enables and encourages. sending gross dick pics, manspreading, mansplaining, not wearing deodorant at conventions or game tournaments, groping, etc. while it may be true that these behaviors do not apply to 100% of all men, saying "not all men" just detracts from the original point, especially considering that ONLY men do these things.

furthermore, when POC say things about white people to vent their frustrations about white privilege and institutionalized racism, they don't mean that literally 100% of every single white person ever is a big evil racist kkk nazi monster who should die in a fire, simply that it's a problem that happens way to fucking often and only white people perpetuate these. while it shouldn't be ignored that different ethnic groups can often be prejudiced against each other, it's not pertinent to the current point. and regardless, acknowledging that ONLY PROVES THE POINT MORE. a black person saying "ugh @ wypipo defending saying n*gga without the hard R as if it's any better and that endentures them to be able to say it" isn't ignoring the fact that mexican, chinese, native american, etc etc people are frequently antiblack racist and also make the same arguments, but it's PREDOMINANTLY white people doing this. and, devils advocate, even if it wasn't predominantly white people, that would just further enforce the point that them saying "white people" isn't a literal absolute blanket statement. ITS ALL FUCKING SEMANTICS YOU DENSE ILLITERATE IDIOTS so can other white people please stop with all the "not all of us do that" bullshit? all of us will at some point inevitably eventually fuck up and pretending we don't is just recklessly irresponsible, immature, and cringe to the max. I was raised by racist white people in a racist white neighborhood in a racist predominantly white town in a racist predominantly white state in a racist predominantly white country, as was most white people in america. If I'm not free of institutionalized racism neither the fuck are you. what was I talking about? oh yeah, ok boomer.

to get back on topic, when we queers vent our frustrations with cisgender or heterosexual people, we KNOW that there are some cishets who aren't nasty evil hateful pundit assholes. we KNOW there are cishets who have no problems with being gay or trans or whatever. we aren't physically pointing out and attacking YOU SPECIFICALLY unless we say your name. some of my closest friends in high school and onward are cishet and they were my own personal support network through coming out as bi and trans. if I say "stinky straighties" they're clearly excluded or "ew cis" it's not a coin flip reverse hatred that applies the same way backwards. when we want to shatter garbage social constructs and bullshit societal idelaogies from white western christian colonialist europe, we don't want to shatter The Bones of every person who hm idk doesn't experience attraction towards people of the same gender or identifies with the gender they were assigned with at birth. it's more about the cishet mentality if anything, which affects and is displayed by individuals.

I could go on. "Not All Goyim" "Not All Ableds" "Not All Neurotypicals" "Not All Allistics" "Not All Cis" "Not All Straights" "Not All Whites" "Not All Men" "Not All Boomers" it's all the same stupid garbage tired nonsense melodrama from crybaby little bitches with victim complexes. Jewish People aren't all Antigoyische, Disabled and Neurodivergent People aren't all Reverse Ableist, Queer and Trans People aren't all Heterophobic or Cisphobic, People of Color aren't all Reverse Racist, Women (/Nonbinary) aren't all Misandrist, and Zoomers or 90s Kids or Millenials or Gen Xers aren't all Ageist,

JUST FOR SAYING A GODDAMN MEME

ok? we understand now? good.

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ashtonandcalslefthand · 6 years ago

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Checkmate (Prince!Cal AU) Part Eight

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Feels

Four days.

He didn’t attempt to talk to her for four days, despite having to repeat I do to her so many times that he sometimes forgot any other English words. She didn’t attempt to contact him, either, so how was it his fault?

He tried, he really did, to become furious with her, to hate her -- to despise her very being -- the same way she did him, but, to no avail, it only made Calum hate himself more. She really had loved him, she loved him with every atom that kept her together, and he tossed it to the side for a one-night-stand.

“It’s the big day,” Calum turned with weary eyes to a cautious Ashton. Everybody within the palace walls was careful around him, had been since the confrontation with Elena. Everyone but Elena, of course -- the only person he truly cared about. “Are you excited?”

Calum shrugged. Everything around him seemed to be shrug-worthy now. Nothing particularly exceptional, everything particularly monotonous. She was the starlight and the moonshine and the sunbeam and the magic that he had simply let rush past him, like a distant memory. He’d lost her.

As the suit was pulled onto him by people with hands, faces, and names he didn’t recognize -- wouldn’t remember, he feared he would never reach her again. “Well,” Ashton said, cracking his neck, his blond hair practically shining in the daylight, the servants rushing out of the room silently with their heads down, “It’s showtime.” Calum looked towards the window.

It was closed.

Jenna didn’t talk to Elena. She hadn’t for a long while. Jenna missed the loud, confident, talkative, happy Elena, the Elena she’d never gotten the privilege to meet. Silence prolonged the many hours they spent together and only infuriated her further. They were stubborn children, both of them.

Jenna slipped out of the room as the nurses dressed Elena in the beautiful wedding gown that she hated. Though, Elena hated everything about the wedding.

The halls were cold and calculating, they seemed to bounce her intentions back to her. With a slight grimace, she slipped into the dark hallway they had previously agreed on. She checked the watch that laid cool upon her wrist. She had five minutes until she had to return. She looked up in vain. She looked back down at her watch.

Four minutes.

She groaned, looking up to meet his intense gaze. A gasp slipped from her lips as his honey-gold eyes blinked amusedly at her. “Three minutes,” He whispered -- as if reading her mind. Despite the flutter in her heart and the heat in her cheeks, she kept her level-head.

“You are The Hood Prince’s servant, are you not?” He smirked, observing his nails with calm distaste.

“I prefer to call myself his closest and dearest companion, maybe going as far as his soulmate,” Never shifting tone, he looked back up at her challenging eyes. “Why?”

She pushed the urgent need to roll her eyes away as she spoke, gracefully, as always. “He must be in ruins about Elena...” Ashton’s features twisted into a pained expression. Memories of covering up Calum’s face with makeup to hide those broken, bloodshot eyes, listening to his best friend, his brother, sob late into the night, helpless from the other side of the door. He shivered.

“Because Elena is in ruins about him,” Ashton’s eyes shot open -- he hadn’t remembered closing them -- and met hers with a burning glare. You better not be lying, they said. “I wouldn’t lie to you,” She said, her voice honest and tired.

“They need each other,” Ashton murmured into the empty space. “And they won’t admit it.” Jenna nodded sadly as they looked at each other. No, not look. They saw. “When do you need to go back?” He asked, peeling himself from the wall he was leaning on.

She checked her watch once more. Her eyes widened as she took off running.

Jenna called back as she ran, “Seven minutes ago!”

Calum and his best men waited anxiously at the alter as people shuffled to their seats, whispering quietly amongst themselves. Scattered among the relatives were business partners, friends, and royalty from far and wide. Ashton checked his watch. So did Michael and Noah, the two other best men. She was two and a half minutes late, and all the people who’d been included in the planning process were in a frenzy.

And then the familiar tune started ringing through the church.

Calum’s head snapped up so quickly his best men momentarily fretted over the thought of him getting whiplash. And then they all saw the bridesmaid walking down the aisle.

They looked beautiful -- each one was wearing a different shade of lavender at different lengths, but it was such organized chaos that the whole church gasped. Jenna came first, then Gage -- blue hair and all --, and then, finally, Mali. They were so beautiful that everyone struggled for breath. (Especially the girls Mali-Koa winked at.)

Elena, though, was something else.

Her dark skin accented the white dress accented her dark skin. It dripped down her curves like summer rain and met the floor in a beautiful collision. Her hair was spilling down her shoulders with eager grace and her bouquet mimicked her eyes, almost as beautiful.

She stepped with beautiful efficiency, she walked so well the instructor nearly shed a tear. So did Calum. She looked at him softer than she had in a week and, for an instant, hope bloomed in his chest, spreading warmth across his body.

Except, he remembered she had taken classes to mask your true emotions from the public. From everybody else in the church. He was getting married to someone who hated him. Someone who hated him with good reason.

He still smiled as she walked down the aisle. He had taken the same classes she had. Except, when a single tear rolled down his cheek, it wasn’t out of joy.

She reached the altar and Mali took the bouquet with a helpful and silently piteous grin. The anything-but-happy couple turned to the minister with grim, joyous expressions on their faces. He smiled nervously as he swallowed the I’m going to hell in his throat.

The couple stopped listening in sync, blinking away the tears in both their eyes. Both for the same different reasons. Words swirled in their heads, whirling around and around and around and around and around and arou-

“Calum Thomas Hood, do you take Elena Fiona Ferrison as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

Calum swallowed harshly at the rejection in his throat, thick tears flowing down his cheeks now. “I do.”

“And Elena Fiona Ferrison, do you take Calum Thomas Hood as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

The tears flowed freely from her eyes, too, like rivers trekking paths down the Earth of her skin. “I do.”

“The rings, please.”

Michael stepped up without falter, holding out the silk pillow for the pair to take. Calum waited for Elena. Elena waited for Calum. They extended their hands at the same time, putting the rings on each others’ hands hastily. Once they were on, it felt as though their hands were being burned.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

He turned to face Elena, and she closed her eyes. She couldn’t look at Calum when he bent down to kiss her, she couldn’t. It hurt her so much to stand next to him that looking him in the eye was practically impossible. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her waist as hers wrapped around his neck. And he kissed her.

The salt in their tears burned the old wounds back to life and they tore apart as everyone else in the church cheered for them. They walked back down the aisle with false smiles on their faces, and they met the limousines waiting outside with a sweet sigh of relief and salty tears of pain.

Gage and Michael, Ashton and Jenna, Mali-Koa and Noah -- the only people who were truly listening -- could hear Calum and Elena’s hearts turning to dust within their chests as they pulled away from the castle.

The blood in their veins turned to pure, crystalized pain. How beautifully they hurt together. How beautifully they hurt each other.

Tag List: @angelbabylu @5sosnsfw@bloodmoonashton@claredolphinbear24 @rainingcal @cal-pal-cuddles @rosecoloredash @heartbreak-5sos @grreatgooglymoogly @ghostofhood @burncrashbromance @myloverboyash

Thanks, love you <3

{💞💕 Message me if you’d like to be part of my tag list. 💕💞}

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#checkmate #checkmate finale #part eight #wedding #princess elena #prince au #prince calum #the end is near

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storytimewithcort · 6 years ago

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Fresh Start (Part 7)

FRESH START PART 7

Fandom: Marvel, MCU

Basic Summary: Everyone’s favorite ol’ AU where we forget Infinity War ever happened! Loki and Thor are living with the Avengers because why not. Reader is hired to work for Tony and Pepper, and she and her son soon meet Loki. Etc Etc Etc - Part 7, reader starts to miss her daily interactions with Loki, while Loki expresses his feelings with help from Thor

Pairing: Loki x Reader (Single Mom Reader)

Warnings: nothing to report this time around

A/n: I have been been both busy with work and then super sick this past week. So, I have replayed certain conversations and scenes in my head multiple times, but have been able to write in a many days. Sorry for the wait. I do have part 8 partially done.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

--------

The next three weeks flew by and you never had a chance to really talk to Loki about what had happened between the two of you that night you spent in the tower. You had started to the morning after, but you were only halfway through your cup of coffee when Pepper called you with questions about Jonas' typical breakfast routine. That broke the mood for sure, and you didn't know how to bring it back up. Loki seemed more than content to allow the topic subside. He quickly started to ask you instead about your plans for the day.

You wouldn't say it was awkward, it really wasn't or so you thought at first. When you did get a little time to spend with Loki you two were back to how you had been for weeks. You comfortably discussed books, old earth legends, or your four year old's naive yet uniquely philosophical views on everyday life. However, you were starting to think that you were seeing much less of Loki than you were now used to.

At first you didn't have time to take note of it. You were taking a class to get re-certified in CPR and first aid as well as working with Pepper to get Jonas into an unbelievably prestigious preschool program for the upcoming spring session. So you blamed the lack of Loki on your own schedule and didn't think too much of it. You barely had time to think for yourself anyway.

That changed starting two days ago when you felt like your life was winding back down to it's normal amount of crazy. You set both the kids down for a nap and were blessed that Jonas actually wanted to nap since he was starting to grow out of wanting to nap at all. You left the nursery hoping to find Loki in the kitchen area or outside on the balcony per usual, but he wasn't in either spot.

The same happened yesterday. And again when you went looking for him today. You sighed to yourself. Maybe he was avoiding you, or maybe you had been unintentionally avoiding him and he was now bored of you or upset with you. You decided a quick trip upstairs would be okay, you just had to make sure to avoid Tony as he didn't particularly like you leaving the floor with the kids.

As you entered to large common room upstairs you literally ran into the object of your search.

"Oh...Hi" you mumbled as you took a step back, trying to not focus on the hand Loki placed on your arm to help steady you.

"Can I help you with something Y/n?" He asked, looking down at you.

"Well, I just put the kids down for a little bit...Are you busy right now?" As you asked you were certain for a moment his eyes lit up in excitement, but he simply shook his head slowly at you. You notice how he's dressed in a warm jacket and scarf, even holding a pair or gloves in one hand and your stomach sunk.

"I'm afraid I am busy, Thor is taking me to see...something...I honestly wasn't paying attention to what, but he insists." Just then Thor comes around the corner and when you see him dressed for the weather too, you can't help but slump your shoulders a bit. "Rain check?" Loki offers in a more gentle tone.

"Only if that's what you want...I..uh..never mind then." You slipped back into the elevator and hoped you didn't look too disappointed in front of Loki. Just then the brothers entered into the elevator with you and before you could say anything else the doors shut and you forced yourself to stand up straight. Thor was as bubbly as ever and even offered you to join them on their trip, but you obviously had to decline.

As you made your way to step out of the elevator your hand brushed against Loki's unintentionally. His reflexes were astonishingly quick and he grabbed your hand in his before you could walk away. He held you in place for a brief moment making eye contact with you. Rubbing his thumb across your knuckles he repeated, "Rain check, I promise."

You nodded with a little smile and slipped away.

Outside the wind was harsh but it didn't really bother either brother as they made their way through the city. Thor led Loki through streets as if he knew they place as well as Asgard. A fact which Loki couldn't decide was impressive or a bit sad.

"Do we have to walk there through all these people? You're just going to get stopped every few feet by some adoring fan." Loki pouted as a group of teenagers practically tripped over themselves as Thor smiled in their direction.

Thor continued to smile and nod towards each passing onlooker. They were in fact stopped by a few people. To Loki's alleviation, not one of the fans seemed to notice much less recognize him. Once the men were more secluded street. Thor turned to Loki with a look that Loki dreaded. This was Thor's patented I know something face. It always caused Loki a headache.

"So..." Thor started, tone sickly sweet. "Y/n?"

"What about her?" Loki said flatly, the dull ache of annoyance settling in.

"You two seem...close." Thor commented, "Are you two together?"

Raising his eye brows, Loki scoffed, "I'm not talking about this with you."

"And who else would you talk to? I'm your only friend." Thor added, smacking Loki's shoulder lightly.

Loki simply walked a bit faster, putting a little distance between them as he tried not to acknowledge Thor's words. The cold weather suddenly as cold as the most arctic parts of Jotunheim. Or maybe it was just him. After all, there was truth behind Thor's statement, among other reasons. After a few minutes of silence, Loki reluctantly turned his head towards Thor.

"I don't know."

"You don't know if you have any friends or if you're with Y/n?" Thor teased.

Loki glared in Thor's direction, but continued anyway, "I don't know how to categorize my relationship with her."

"That's not hard to figure out. You obviously enjoy spending time with her. And she obviously likes spending time with you." Thor beamed.

"So you're saying I do in fact have another friend." Loki laughed hollowly.

"Loki..."

"Look," Loki sighed, "We have had...moments...of flirtation and romance. However, there will not be anymore in the future. I assure you."

"Does she know that? She seemed excited when she came upstairs specifically to find you today." Thor's voice grew at bit more interested.

Loki took a moment to gather his words correctly, "I think it's best for her if I leave her alone. She's clever, inquisitive, charming, and quite possibly has the kindest heart I've ever known."

"All of that sounds like good reasons to be with someone..."

"All good reasons for a good person to be with her. Not me."

"You're not a ba-" Thor started.

"I am a bad person." Loki cut Thor off with a side glance that emphasized his seriousness. "As honored as I am for your restored faith in me. I'm still viewed as a monster by most of this planet including Y/n's own employer. She has too much going for her to be bogged down by an association with me."

Thor's shoulders slumped a bit, unsure of how to argue Loki's sad point.

"Plus," Loki added, "She has a son, a family. I have a horrible track record with family. I've failed every one in my family at least once." He only paused to raise a finger in Thor's direction, cutting off Thor's words of encouraging disagreement before he could even voice them. "I've even failed you countless times, brother. I like Y/n far too much to hurt her or Jonas in the ways I know I'm capable of."

Thor made a noise of solemn disgruntlement and Loki thought for a fleeting moment that Thor might actually understand what he was feeling for once.

"So..." Thor started quietly, "When do you plan on telling her any of this."

"I've been trying to distance myself from her for a couple weeks now. However whenever I do see her, I forget all about distancing myself. I swear I can't say 'no' to her and I can't keep myself away from her. I hate it." Loki looked down at the ground as he spoke.

"That's because you like her." Thor mused, drawing out the word 'like' longer than necessary.

At the comment a small rock came flying out of nowhere directly at Thor's face, hitting him in the temple. Loki sent another pebble towards Thor, this one hitting him on the side of his left arm.

As Thor looked around the street to find where the rocks came from, Loki let out a small chuckle. "I already told you I like her. Weren't you listening?"

Brushing his arm as if to remove the nonexistent dust the second rock left behind Thor spoke, "I think I understand your concerns. But, you cannot make this decision for her. If you like her and she likes you. She deserves a say in whether or not your relationship moves forward. I say you tell her your concerns and see how she feels. I have a feeling she doesn't see you as a monster at all."

"I did not ask for your advice."

"Ah but you get it! It's my privilege as the older brother to impart my wisdom." Thor boomed, giving Loki another strong pat on the shoulder as Loki rolled his eyes.

After Thor finished showing Loki an museum exhibition on viking history, they finally made it back to the tower in the early evening. It turned out Thor's only interest was the few references on various artifacts to each of them, proving that at least at one time many humans saw both Thor and Loki as godly heroes, not monsters at all. Against his better judgment, all Loki could think about while they wandered around the exhibit was how you'd enjoy seeing it yourself.

As they entered the lobby the elevator was opening to you and Jonas making your way to leave.

"Hi Mr. Snake! Hi Mr. Thor!" Jonas chimed excitedly when he saw them.

"Why hello Master Jonas! How are you this fine evening?" Thor returned in a matching level of excitement.

"Momma says I can have noodles for dinner!" Jonas explained.

"That sounds lovely, I always loved noodles myself. I've got an idea." Thor offered, "How about I get Natasha or Bruce to order us noodles. They understand phones better than I do. Then you both can stay here for dinner. I could even let Jonas play with my helmet." Thor looked at Loki with a huge grin.

You shifted in your shoes, "I don't want to impose. There's a Thai place a block from our apartment, we can just pick something up there. Plus, I'd rather get Jonas home before it's any darker out."

"But Momma! Mr. Thor promised to show me a super hero helmet!" Jonas pleaded, tugging on your shirt sleeve.

"If your worried about traveling too late, Loki would accompany you home make sure you all made it home safely." Thor continued, eyeing Loki excitedly.

You glance between Jonas and Loki for a moment before relenting. "Ok."

"Yeeessssss!" Jonas screamed, running back into the elevator. Once inside he turned back and waved his little hand in his direction, "come on come on."

"You guys heard the boy," you laughed softly. Turning back to the elevator.

Sure enough, Natasha was around when you all reached the common area upstairs. She seemed surprised to see you, but was pleased. After ordering a impressive spread from a local Italian restaurant, you all just had to wait about half an hour. Thor kept his promise and brought out his armor and helmet. Jonas thought it was the coolest thing he's ever seen and proceeded to wear the way to big helmet with glee as he fumbled around the room.

You settled into a spot on a side of one of the couches to watch as Thor played well with Jonas and even somehow convinced Bruce to join in. Once food arrived you all ate as one odd, disjointed family.

By the time Jonas had eaten enough alfredo rotini to rival Thor, you saw the telltale signs of a toddler ready to pass out asleep at any moment. You quickly thanked everyone and started to gather your belongings. Ignoring the puzzled looks from Natasha and Bruce as he got up from the table to follow you, Loki made his way to you across the room.

"I can escort you home." He said as he reached your side.

You turned to face him and instantly blushed at his proximity. This is the closest you had been to him since you were literally in his lap and you couldn't stop your self from thinking about just that. He obviously noticed your blush, because he smirked and raised an eyebrow at you. You shook your head in a way to calm your self and nodded more directly to Loki.

"I'd love that."

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Lovely people: @1v-kayla , @unicorniorosacomefrutillas, @jessiejunebug, @hiddlestonstansworld, @hey-liz-hey, @fortheloveofallthatsholy, @perceptorxbrainstorm, @kinghiddlestonanddixon, @ godhateskyleigh, @illogicalfangirl and hopefully I didn’t miss anyone.

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