#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.

[apocalypticdemon]

finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.

had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.

feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!

[a-wolfs-bad-moon-rising]

Are you there L.T.?

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Student!Reader

(Finals are coming up and I think nothing more than fluffy Ghost would help more than anything.)

(Fluffy fluff from the big man himself)

My eyes crack open and I stare up at my ceiling. Daylight floods in through my windows illuminating the room. I hear the soft hum of my heater trying to keep my apartment warm in contrast to the cold wind bustling outside.

I sit up on my elbows and blink bleary-eyed, scanning the room. It feels like I hadn't slept at all. I just wanted to take a nap. I haven't been sleeping well at night because it's exam week and I'm beyond stressed. I nibble my nail as the anxiety sits in and I reach for my phone. I pray that more time as past since I laid down for a nap.

The cushions under my legs sink in as I lean forward. I pick up my phone and tap the screen. I blink a few times before registering that I had only been asleep 10 minutes.

With a groan I toss my phone to the side and put my face in my hands. I squeeze my scalp, my fingers closing around strands of my hair and I breathe shakily.

I can't believe how much the stress is getting me. I will myself not to cry and an idea pops into my head. Maybe there's someone who could provide moral support. I look at my phone a moment before picking it up. I tap on a familiar app and scroll through. He may not even be on leave. He may be deployed somewhere. He almost might not care to talk his old teammate off the edge during something as trivial as exams.

But he was always a good guy. Someone I looked up too who provided comfort when I needed it. Worth a shot. Who is it? My old Lieutenant. Simon "Ghost" Riley.

I tap on his contact and send a message.

LT?

I wait a few moments aching for a reply before I realize it probably won't come. I get up and with a pop of my joints I head to my shower.

Behind the bathroom door, I open a closet and pull out a fluffy towel. I set it on the counter before picking through my closet for a change of clothes. I turn the knobs in my shower. A few squeaks and the water flows through the shower head. The water was cold at first, the temperature picking up a few minutes later. I watch the steam rise and I undress getting under the spray.

I spend a good amount of time decompressing and allowing the water to soothe my body. I had just lathered myself up with soap when I hear a ping from my phone. Almost breaking my neck jumping out of the shower, I haphazardly dry my hands off before picking up my phone and tapping the screen.

I smile seeing the ghost icon. Suds slide their way down my body but I pay no mind as I open the text

(Y/N).

Always a man of a few words.

Long time no see. Are you in the area by chance?

I am for now. What's on your mind?

I'm struggling with finals and the stress is getting to me. Can't sleep, any ideas?

You've been on countless missions with 141 and finals got your nerves going?

I freeze and sheepishly reply.

Yeah.....

I had left the military after my contract ended. I kept close contact with the other members. I'm particularly close with Soap. Price was always fatherly and Ghost, I leaned on him a lot inside and outside the military.

Want me to come by?

I smile and type out my response before I finish my shower.

I'd like that it'd be nice to catch up!

Once I finish cleaning, I towel off and get dressed. It'll take Ghost about half an hour to get to my apartment so I settle on making a snack as I wait for him.

A knock at my door has me rushing to open it. Standing there is Ghost. I'll be honest it took me a bit to get used to his face without the mask.

"LT!" I exclaim a little to enthusiastic.

He nods at me with a ghost (see what I did there?) of a smile.

"(Y/N)"

I smile and open my arms. He awkwardly does the same and I'm just happy he's indulging me. I lay against his chest and give him a squeeze. His smile subconsciously gets bigger and he holds me back.

I let him into my apartment and he looks around.

"So finals gettin ya frazzled?"

"Yeah.....I thought after the military nothing would stress me out but this....civilian life is worse."

"Ain't that the fuckin truth."

"I just can't wrap my head around this." I gesture to my textbook. "How the hell am I supposed to know the answer to....this?"

I show him a question in my book. His eyes barely scan it before he gives me an answer. I deadpan before looking it up.

"You did not fucking know that." He chuckles and leans towards me.

"Give me another." He says with a cocky grind. We go back and forth and he irritatingly gets ALL OF THEM. He even caught on when I was bullshitting and flicked me in the forehead.

"Ow!" I yelp

"Don't act like a brat jus because yer strugglin." He says simply. I grumble and rub my head as he laughs.

"Alright I'll help ya siddown." He says.

"No LT I can't take another second if studying."

"I said sit." I blush and comply sitting next to him as he picks up my book. I groan and he shoots me a look.

He goes back and forth with me explaining problems and helping me figure them out. Towards the end I finally start to get the hang of it. I answer the last question, the one that gave me the most trouble.

"Are you sure?" His unreadable eyes pierce me and I stress. I squeeze my hands and look at him.

"I'm sure." He looks at me blankly and I start to sweat.

"That's right." He says. I breathe a sigh of relief and fall against my cushions.

"Thank GOD!" Ghost chuckles at my enthusiasm.

"Atta girl I knew ya could do it." He says and I flush.

"Thanks LT you always did make things easier on me."

"Ah that was all you love. Jus needed a little help is all." He says and I blush.

He stands up, his massive frame towering over me and stretches.

"Well let me take ya out and we can get some dinner."

"Really?"

"Sure let's go. Don't tell Johnny, damn bastard always tryin to get a free meal out o me."

I giggle at the mention of Soap and I grab my jacket and gloves go layer up. I pull my boots on and brave the cold. I look at him and in confirmation. He opens my door and let's me out shutting it behind us. I lock my door and we start walking down the street.

We banter for a few minutes catching up on what the rest of the crew is doing. A snowflake melts on my neck and I shiver. Without a word Ghost takes off his scarf and wraps it around my neck. His hands brushing my hair and shoulders. Thank God the cold made my cheeks rosy already. We get to a bar and he opens the door for me. I stamp my feet out and we sit at the bar.

"What'll ya have?" He asks me. I give him my drink order and he orders for me. I sit next to him happily.

"When's your exam?" He asks me. I sigh.

"Tomorrow." I say. He nods.

"You'll be jus fine love." He gives me one of his rare Ghost smiles. We order food and keep talking about the good old days and how things are now. I realize how homesick I've been for the 141. I'm stuffing a French fry in my mouth when I hear a loud voice.

"Blood 'ell." Ghost sighs and I smile knowing what's got his nerves. I swivel in my chair and look at beautiful blue eyes. The Scotsman smiles at me.

"Soap!" I exclaim and hop off my chair. I jump up and hug him and he holds me back.

"Hey there lass. How ya been?" He asks me and I nuzzle his chest.

"Good Soap! I missed you!" He smiles and picks me up, a deep laugh rumbling from his chest.

"I missed ya too lass. What're you and the missus doin ere?"

I giggle

"He was helping me study for my exam tomorrow." Soap feigns hurt and looks at me.

"Oi why didn ya ask me fer help?. Instead ya ask our tightass oer there?" He says. I laugh and Ghost pipes up.

"Johnny you're a bloody sod." He says. Soap smiles at him and sits down.

"I am not go on quiz me. I'll be I get more right then you."

After a humbling experience, Soap settles to joking around with us and sharing my food. We watch the rugby game on the television and go back and forth talking. I sit happily between the two men and feel content being around two familiar people.

"Thank you guys. This has really helped."

"Always lassie."

"Anything for ya love."

Later on that night they walk me home. I walk in between them and the follow me all the way to my door. I undo the scarf Ghost gave me and hand it to him. Soap snatches it and wraps it stupidly around his head. Ghost shoots him a death glare but doesn't bother taking it back. Soap smiles cheerily at him.

He opens his arms to me and I hug the Scotsman tightly.

"Goodnight Soap. Thanks for being here."

"Always lass, treasure seein ya." He kisses my hand and I blush. I turn to Ghost. He carefully gives me a hug and Soap smirks at him.

"G'night love. Good luck on your exam t'morrow. You'll be jus fine."

I smile and let him go.

"Thanks LT."

They let me go inside and I crawl under my warm covers. I lay sleepily against my pillows and relax. I feel more content than I had in a while and I gently sleep.

The next morning I stand in front of my classroom. I grip the straps to my backpack tightly and shift from foot to foot. I try and calm my nerves. I was never the best test taker. I go to take a step when my phone goes off a bunch of times. Vibrations felt through my pocket as I get bombarded with messages. Wondering what the hell is up I open my screen and my heart melts. It's a group chat from the 141.

(Soap): Oi. Everyone wish (Y/N) good luck on her exam today. Not that the lass has to worry her pretty little head

(Price): Good luck love. You were an amazing soldier, you got this.

(Price): Get back to work Soap.

(Gaz): Ayeooo (Y/N) has finals? Knock em dead sweetheart!!! 🫶

(Konig): Gut luck Liebling

(Keegan): Showtime (Y/N) we got your back

(Roach): Good luck!

(Ghost): Good luck soldier.

I read the messages happily soon the chat turning on Soap and instead berating him. I giggle.

(Y/N): Thank you guys! I'll do you proud.

(Keegan): We know you will sweetheart. Soap was that you I saw walk by in that stupid scarf?

(Soap): Why yes it was

(Ghost): it's not stupid

(Price): I didn't know we were all jerkin off today. Let the girl take her test and get the fuck back to work.

(Soap): Aye sir

(Ghost): Roger

(Keegan): On it Capn

(Konig): I will get back to it

(Roach): I wasn't a part of this.

I laugh at the messages as they cease. My phone vibrates one more time and it's a separate message from Ghost.

(Ghost): Stop stressing. You've always been a bad test taker but you're more than capable. Kick ass today.

(Ghost): I'm proud of you

My heart melts at his words and I beam. He was always a man of few words but this meant the world. I take a breath and head into my class to take the final. My mood and confidence boosted knowing I have a whole army behind me.

~~~~~

(Soap): Wow I like it a lot!

(Wolf): Thanks me too!

(Soap): I like how you shamlessly added me in there.

(Wolf): *blushing* Soap you're basically my husband at this point of course I'm going to.

(Soap): *Rolls eyes* Shameless

(Ghost): You procrastinated studying to WRITE about studying?

(Wolf): Hell yeah I did. And it worked.

(Ghost): That makes no sense.

(Wolf): Yes it does shush.

(Soap): Lass no it doesn't.

(Wolf): *pouting*

(Ghost): Get the 'ell over ere and study!

(Wolf): B-but!

(Ghost): NOW!

[quantum1mmortality]

If Kung lao yelled at me to make him a sandwich I’d make it for him in a heartbeat- I’d make him a full course meal- but ahem-

I got the idea of Kung lao and his lover going at it then raiden accidentally walks in but instead of like immediately leaving he gets aroused by the sight and ends up joining in with the permission of Kung Lao and his lover-

I'd be in the kitchen so fast. Absolutely no questions other than what he wants on it. He could spit in my face and I'd thank him

STOOPOOOOOLL OMFG IM NOT GINNA MAKE THIS A FULL LENGTH FIC JUST HCS BUT OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD

tw/cw: AFAB reader, threesome, very dirty and horny id fuck them both, Raiden so HAWNY, Kung Lao gets off to seeing reader get off how caring, I crack jokes in these types of fics sue me

Not proofread fuck you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Kung Lao have been dating for quite a while now, two years to be exact. More than enough time for you to be introduced to his friends and more than enough time for you both to start experiencing more sexual things in relationships

Kung Lao is a very insatiable man. He's always in the mood but would never force you to do anything, it's always up to you. With this, you've been exploring many things with him

Kung Lao is always down to try something at least once. All you have to do is ask him and he'll be right there with you

He was actually the one to bring up a threesome, surprisingly enough. And you both decide theres only one person that would ever make sense to choose: Raiden.

It was extremely obvious since you first met him a year and a half ago that he had a thing for you. You didn't mind, neither did Kung Lao, even as his best friend. In fact, Kung Lao would often tease him about it, mainly because he knows Raiden wouldn't do anything

Raiden would often get rosy cheeks when you were around. And if you even spoke a word to him, he'd be stuttering and sweating profusely

Lao had confessed to you that ever since he realized his best friend had a thing for you, he'd been fantasizing about a threesome. Gotta share a slice with the homies

You two spoke about it for a few nights before settling on Lao asking him, that way it isn't too awkward to talk about

So here you were, in a mating press with your boyfriend as he pounds into you, quickly but gently. Leaning down to suck on your neck as he whispers praises into your ear.

It was the night before you had scheduled to ask Raiden about anything, fucking each other for the upteenth time that day to help Kung Lao vent a bit of stress from the training earlier

You'd talked about Raiden before starting this particular session, until Kung Lao decided he wanted to skip proper formalities.

While you were both lost in the sauce, you hadn't even heard a light knock on the door. And then another. And another.

It had been drowned out by the sound of skin on skin and moans filling the air. That was until Kung Lao halted his movements suddenly. Opening your eyes that were previously screwed shut in pleasure, you look up to see your boyfriend looking at the now open door that has his best friend standing in the doorway.

The three of you are silent as Raiden took in the scene before him, a painfully obvious tent growing in his pants. You and your boyfriend look at each other briefly, exchanging small nods and looking back at Raiden

Raiden realizes how long he's been staring at the two of you and covers his face in embarrassment. He began to stammer out an apology while trying his best not to look at the two of you. "I-I'm so sorry, I just wanted to talk to Kung Lao about something- I'll go no-"

"Raiden." Kung Lao interrupted him harshly. He turned back around, looking his friends in the eyes as he began to turn red again. "Do... You wanna join us?" Lao gives him a soft smile for reassurance as he helps you lean against the headboard.

Raiden thinks for a minute before taking a small step forward and taking his hat off. You and Kung Lao both smile as he began to undress himself more, leaving him in just his boxers as he slowly crawled into the bed, awaiting any sort of protest.

When none arose, and instead Kung Lao began to guide his hands to the inside of your thighs, he began to sweat. "You can apply some pressure if you want, she can handle it." Kung Lao said with a smile as he led Raidens hands to your heat.

"Go ahead. You can touch her if you'd like, she's already prepared so you can fuck her now if you really wanted to." Kung Lao glanced over at you as you nodded your head in content. Raiden sat for a moment as he went over his options a bit more.

He finally decided on taking the chance while he has it and began to take his boxers off. As he was doing this, Kung Lao decided to go to the side of the bed, opting to simply observe. As Raiden grabs your thighs and aligns himself with your hole, he silently asks for permission before pushing himself in once granted.

Raiden leaves out a whine as he begins to thrust into you. You begin to cling into him, digging your nails into his back as he increased his pace

He was gripping at your hips and breathing heavily into your ear as he thrusted into you so hard you could feel the headboard slam against the wall.

Soft pleas and moans escaped his lips as he grew closer and closer to his orgasm. "Please-please- I need you-" he repeated as he started to whimper louder and louder into your ears

Kung Lao could tell he was getting close by how loud he was. "Outside." He said sternly, luckily Raiden got the memo and pulled out, cumming on your stomach and collapsing onto you.

As you both caught your breath, you could hear your boyfriend in the bathroom getting a washcloth. When he came back, he handed it to Raiden who then began cleaning you and himself.

When he was done, he stood up and got dressed. The silence in the room was maddening as he walked to the door. Before he could open it, Kung Lao called his name, making him face the two of you.

"Come over again sometime. I'll show you how to make her feel some pleasure too." He said with a cocky grin on his face. Raidens head was practically a tomato as he sped out the door, leaving the two of you simply laughing to yourselves

Kung Lao crawled back into bed and planted himself on you again, kissing you up and down. "Now then, where were we?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: to everyone who has been using my ask bar as a way to send me kung lao edits and pictures, I love you

[hatosaur]

i realized that i hadn't said anything here so this is a bit belated but i'm super unhappy with the casting choices of tlou hbo, and just the general direction it's going toward.

in abby's case, it's been well-pointed out at this point her body type is a narrative device, a catalyst for showing just how her dedication and obsession with tracking joel down and killing him. i don't doubt that kaitlyn dever will be working out for this role but i can only imagine she'll end with a sort of lean muscular physique that will hardly illustrate the point of the body type, rather than one that takes fat into consideration. dever is far too small to achieve it, and what's more is, i think it's super unethical to bank on someone working out in order to fit a role. the announcement of the casting came about a month after the trailer for that new kristen stewart movie, the one where she falls for a bodybuilder, came out. there are fully actresses who lift and bodybuilder and have similar body types, and yet their choice leaves us wanting.

dina's case feels a lot more sacrilegious. isabel merced isn't jewish, nor has any of dina's defining features. granted, i'm well-aware that neither cascina caradonna, her face model, nor shannon woodward, her voice actor, are jewish, but i feel like this is what made the casting choice matter all the more. dina's a character whose heritage matters to her character, and there was such a clear chance to have her be portrayed by a jewish actor.

like a lot of people, i think that they chose the more palatable route, considering the massive backlash against both abby's body type and dina's more prominent features, which is both incredibly sad to see but also infuriating. particularly with the issue of neil druckmann's batting for jewish rep under the veil of his allegiance with israel. i obviously can't speak for the feelings of jewish fans but i imagine to pull the rug out from underneath us on a character that he has said is a connection to his jewish like this would be like spit in the face.

the whole thing has just made me disinterested with season 2 of tlou hbo. there are already issues with the games' representation of people of color, and seeing as i could tell there was a small (i cannot stress how miniscule) attempt to "fix it, i'd held out hope prior to this but...no.

IN ALL HONESTY, i'd already been content to not engage with s2. i was skeptical enough from the get-go when it was announced, but truth be told, too many red flags are cropping up. obviously, there's the zionist stuff that i think, right now especially, literally everyone can do without (though i'm sure neil and craig are rubbing their hands together over how the people NEED a great "both sides are bad, completely and totally biased view of the conflict in palestine" story), but even to like pirate is a no-go for me.

all of this to say, since i've already gotten some people asking, you shouldn't expect me to draw or indulge in any of the content from it.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds- Pt 1

Not sure how to tag this? Former (ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz X Reader, one night stand Jay Halstead X Reader

A/N: Reader is Stella's adopted sister just because I said so 🤷‍♀️

Warnings: cursing, mentions of sexual acts, consequences of sexual acts (pregnancy) so much drama and angst. Good lord I hate my brain for thinking up this one...

"Sweetheart I know I'm not Stella but please open the door. You're scaring me" you could hear Kelly's worried tone even through the bathroom door, but you couldn't find it in yourself to get off the cool tile of the floor. "I'm ok Kel" your voice shook on the end so you knew he could read right through your lie.

You sat staring at the small plastic test in your shaking hands. How could you have done something this damn stupid? Your hearing went almost staticky as you thought about the last time you spoke to Mouse "I love you baby. I always will but I don't know how long this tour will last and I'm not doing that to you."

You'd argued with him, begged him to figure out a way to make it work but he hadn't wanted you to have the added stress of a significant other in an active war zone on top of the stress of your job. Now only emails and the occasional phone call or zoom kept you two in touch.

You were snatched out of your memory by the sound of the apartment door slamming and your sister's voice saying, "Where is she Kelly?" you reached up and unlocked the door while Kelly explained to her how long you'd been locked in the bathroom and the fact that he'd heard you crying.

The bathroom door cracked open, and Stella squeezed in, so she didn't have to open it fully. "Hey honey" her voice was so gentle and soothing it brought a fresh round of tears. "Oh Babygirl" she whispered, going down on the floor next to you and practically pulling you over into her lap like she did when the two of you were kids.

"What is it? Did something happen to Mouse's unit?" at the mention of his name a raw sob ripped out of your throat. "He's gonna hate me and even worse he's gonna hate Jay" you cried into her shoulder as you pressed the test into her left hand. A look of realization passed over her face "Oh god. Ok it's gonna be ok" you'd told her what had happened between you and Jay.

It was a stupid mistake. An undercover assignment gone sideways, losing two innocent people and both of you ending up in med before finding yourselves back at his place sharing a bottle of bourbon and talking. He was upset over Erin, you were upset over Mouse. Neither of you had never looked at the other like that and when morning had found you it seemed like your fully sober selves still felt the same.

"What am I gonna do Stel?" you whispered as she soothingly rubbed your back "You're gonna take a few deep breaths and calm down before you end up in med. We're gonna handle this however you want to handle this. We'll pursue all options so you're fully informed and I'll go with you to talk to Jay" "I still love Mouse. He'll want nothing to do with me if he finds out" she shook her head "Don't worry about either guy right now. We need to get you checked out first and we'll go from there"

Jay wasn't sure what to think when he got a call from Stella to come to hers and Kelly's place. He knocked on the apartment door and when she answered she stepped out into the hallway closing the door behind her "Jay, Y/N has to talk to you about something. I'm here because I am her sister and therefore her support system. I am your friend and believe you to be a good man but Kelly, while he doesn't know everything that's going on is waiting for a call or text to come throw you out of here if need be"

"Ok? She knows I'd never hurt her so she has no reason to be afraid of me Stella" he was a little hurt that it sounded like you were scared to be alone with him. "It's not you as much as the situation. Do you agree to terms?" "Yeah yeah. Damn. Now can I talk to my partner?"

She nodded and turned back to open the door then stepped in and called your name lightly. Jay trailed behind her and felt his heart hit his feet when he saw you curled up on the couch, holding a pillow in front of you like a shield. You were wearing one of Kelly's CFD hoodies and Stella had braided your hair, but he knew you well enough to know when you'd been crying.

He knew it wasn't Mouse because he was his point of contact. Mouse had done that because if something was to happen to him, he didn't want you getting the news first even if he'd technically broken up with you before he left. He called your name lightly and you flinched then slowly raised your eyes up to look at him "Hey Jay"

He looked at Stella for the ok and when she nodded, he walked closer to the couch and squatted down in front of it before reaching for your hand which you hesitantly let him take. You dropped your gaze to your lap so he called your name lightly and smiled gently when you looked up at him "There she is. C'mon partner, talk to me"

You moved the pillow and handed him what looked like hospital paperwork. He looked up at Stella who gave him another small nod. He took the paperwork and started to read it, feeling his eyes widen "You're pregnant?" you nodded slowly "Mouse has been gone eight months Jay and I haven't been with anyone else except for that night"

He could feel the shock wash over him but the concern for you won out when he saw tears start to form in the corner of your eyes "Hey hey hey. It's ok, it's ok" he moved to sit next to you on the couch, wrapping you in a hug "We'll talk about it and handle it however you want partner. I'm here for you every step of the way. You want to keep it, we'll figure it out. You don't want to keep it, we'll figure it out"

You swallowed hard "I want to know what you want too Jay because this is going lose both of us Mouse. No matter what. He'll never forgive us. I also don't want things to change between us, you're my partner and one of my best friends" your tears started to fall and that alone broke his heart.

He pulled you against his chest and looked helplessly up at Stella as he comforted you "I promise you no matter what happens you will remain my partner and best friend. As for Mouse.... we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" "I love him Jay so damn much" "I know sweetheart, I know. Just breathe, no matter what goes down with him I promise I'll take the blunt of it. You need to be as relaxed as possible right now. You don't need to be this stressed. Don't worry about Mouse, there's still a long time before he'd be back stateside"

"Thank you Jay" you whispered against his chest and he nodded "Told ya, I'm always here for you" Stella caught his eye and mouthed "Thank you" he nodded and started to rub small circles on your back.

It wasn't long before the crying faded, and your breathing evened out. He knew you were asleep without looking, too many times you'd dozed off on stakeouts. He looked up at Stella and whispered "Help me get her laid down" she moved and helped him turn you onto the cushions and grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch to spread over you.

"She's terrified" she whispered, and he nodded before whispering back "Me too but I promise I'll help her no matter what. She won't be alone" "She wouldn't be alone regardless but nice to know I don't have to kill you" Stella teased with a small smile.

Part 2

[joyfulexchristian]

Thank you for your blog! It’s exactly what I need right now.

I’m currently trying to construct my beliefs after a lifetime raised in the PCA (Presbyterian Church of America). It’s such a mindfuck because I can see how hateful a lot of PCA beliefs are and how when their theology is applied consistently it inevitably leads to abuse. It seems like the only ppl not fostering abuse in the system have twisted the words of the Bible to mean the opposite (ex: “this verse sounds like it’s saying x but if you go to the Greek blah blah it’s actually saying y.” Or “yes that verse does say that but obviously they’re applying it wrong. It was never meant to be taken that far” etc)

But even seeing all of this my coping mechanisms under stress are all still based in God. He was supposed to be the one constant thing and i don’t know what to do with that gone.

I feel like my beliefs are currently so fucked up. Trying to write down everything I feel is true and it’s ludicrously contradictory:

- there is no God

- Jesus is God

- after we did nothing happens. It’s the same as the space before we were born

- God has a plan to redeem suffering. All the pain in the world can’t be for nothing. People who live their whole lives in extreme duress and then die must get a chance after death to live prosperous lives. I don’t need eternal life but I need to know others will have it.

- hell is ridiculous and not real. I don’t want ppl to suffer like that no matter what they’ve done so a perfect God can’t be more petty than me. All I truly want from ppl who abused me is for them to never speak to me again. The only “punishment” I might want for them is for them to realize the damage they did and that I only want so they don’t do it again to others. I’m not talking to them so I don’t care.

I’m sure there are more but that’s all I can think of right now. It’s so confusing and messy! Does it ever settle a bit? Will I ever have a set of consistent beliefs again?

The short answer is yes and yes. Things also felt messy for me at first, but I did eventually reach a point of stability.

Congrats on being open to investigating and improving your worldview! That's such a cool and kind thing to do for yourself that many people never manage. I'm sure there's a lot to unpack, so I want to encourage you to treat yourself well while you're challenging your beliefs. Take breaks, seek support, and be patient.

Early in my deconstruction, I craved certainty because I believed that that's what truth felt like. I thought I would investigate my beliefs until I had a new and better set of beliefs on the other side of the process. But along the way I figured out that stability and consistency don't need to come from having an unchanging set of beliefs.

What I found was that having a good set of tools for seeking, analyzing, and integrating information into my life was more stable than having a static set of beliefs.

My beliefs used to be precious and protected, like trophies in a glass case, high up and out of reach. When I started deconstructing, that case came crashing down.

I felt ashamed that Christianity wasn't the only tool I needed to build a stable set of beliefs. For so many people around me, that seemed to be all they needed.

I began to question why I thought Christianity was true: love, belonging, fear, authority, loyalty, and stability were the main ones. But my beliefs didn't account for empathy, ethics, or epistemology and many other things. Heck, I didn't even know the word epistemology when I started this journey. I didn't know how to seek knowledge without running it through a Christian filter first.

I'd been told that CHRISTIANITY = TRUTH, so I hadn't considered that there were other methods to seeking, analyzing, and integrating new knowledge into my life.

But then I started exploring logic, philosophy, psychology, history, biology, and other subjects I'd been afraid would challenge my Christian beliefs. I started reading about other religions and comparing them to Christianity. And, most importantly, I started going to trauma-informed therapy. All of those things helped me break out of old patterns, learn how to update my beliefs based on new information, and how not to be afraid of that whole process.

Focusing on the tools I used to build my beliefs instead of the beliefs themselves, I was able to put together my own toolbox that helped me establish a more stable system of belief. I still go by my belief-shelf every once in a while, dust things off, admire beliefs that stood up to testing, and reevaluate beliefs that didn't. But that last part got rarer and rarer and no longer feels like the end of the world. Because ultimately, I'm still working with the same toolbox.

I used think that Christianity was a universal set of tools that worked for anyone in any situation, but now I see it as one very old tool that doesn't work for everybody. And, despite what I'd been told again and again as a Christian, the Bible is not a truth-seeking tool. It's a set of stories that can tell us about what the authors thought about themselves and the world. And, don't get me wrong, I love storytelling. I think it's very important. We can learn a lot about other people, their perspectives, and their philosophies. The problem comes in when people take their specific interpretation of stories in Christianity and try to apply them universally.

But we don't have to rely on the same old tools forever. We can try out new tools and figure out what will help us build the life that we want to have. Equipped with a variety of tools instead of one dusty one, we are more prepared to live and thrive in this constantly changing world.

Looking back, I'm glad my shaky shelf of beliefs fell apart. Because it gave me the opportunity to take responsibility for my beliefs instead of just protecting them.

I want to touch on one more point that you raised before I close, and that is the unbearable weight of suffering in the world. I struggled with this a lot during my deconstruction. It's a tough thing, to come from a worldview that has simple answers and adjust to the reality that reducing suffering is much harder than "let go and let God." My advice is to seek out good news, because it won't show up in social media feeds as much as bad news does. Find the people who are helping others, solving problems, and actively building community. Also, try to find some small way to do good, lessen suffering, or prevent harm if you have the ability and resources to do so.

That's part of why I run this blog, to try to help other people let go of harmful Christian beliefs with more joy and less suffering.

Thank you for sending me this ask. Messages like these inspire me. I see the effort and empathy behind your words and it gives me more hope than I had before!

[hirsheyskisses]

I don't usually send in requests so it feels a bit weird to do so but can I ask for Killer with a s/o that's had a bad day or kinda stressed out and done with everything (cus gosh people are annoying) that's all, thank you.

Kill the Negativity!

KILLER x READER

Summary: you've had a fucked up day, the locals of an island driving you to your wits end, with no help from the Captain. So you seek out Killer.

a/n: killer has nice hands. Anyways this is cute! Hope you enjoy :D

"Fuckin assholes." You curse, kicking at nothing in particular as you made your way to the deck of the ship. As far as you were aware, the rest of the crew was still off on the island getting drunk. Much to your dismay, your Captain and the others had actually gotten wasted, along with the locals. You'd already been growing weary of how on your ass the red head had been, bit him finally verbally sprinkling the remarks of you not doing enough, and being the weak link, had been enough to drive you over the edge. The local drunkards had joined in, and you slipped off into the night to watch the ship.

You were used to it. You knew Kid was a pain, and you still cared for the man, but that didn't make you want to drive a stake through his heart any less at the moment.

"Be careful." The voice came from right behind you, and you spun around, fist raised and knife being drawn. However, you relaxed as you recognized the large figure before you: the masked man who innocently had his hands raised in surrender. Sighing, you sheathed your blade. "Sorry. Bit distracted."

"I noticed. It's not like you to let people come up behind you." He replied, moving a bit closer. "Surprised you aren't with Kid- now that I think about it, ya weren't at the bar." You began to move to the kitchen and Killer followed. "Didn't feel like it. Judging from your current mood, I'd assume it wasn't that fun."

You opened your mouth, about to ramble about what had happened, then chose better of it. Kid was still your captain, and bad mouthing him wasnt-

"-whatd Kidd do to get under your skin so much?"

"I'm starring to think you're a mind reader." Killer's shoulders shook a bit and he shrugged, "If I was, I wouldn't have to ask what's wrong. But anyone can see Kidd's had it out for you recently."

"Don't worry about it." You entered the kitchen with Killer hot on your tail, shutting the door behind you both. You walked to the sink and grabbed a glass, filling it with water. When you turned, you were met with strong arms caging you in, Killer towering over you.

Taking a slow sip from your drink you stared up at your lover expectantly.

"..forget about the fact he's our Captain, and tell me what he did." Killer whispered, watching as you took another drink and sighed.

"The usual drunken antics. He started screeching about how useless and in the way I am, and then the local assholes joined in. Simple and annoying as that."

Killer tensed, and you heard the softest of growls before he sighed, "I'll deal with Kid in the morning. For now.." with ease, Killer had you in his arms, one arm wrapped under your thighs so you sat, the other wrapped around your back as he left the kitchen with you. You laughed, having set your half finished glass down and wrapped your arms around his neck, and before you knew it, he had you both in your shared room.

"Chu up to, Killer?" You questioned, sliding from his hold as he set you on the bed, and locked the door. You watched as hesitated, and then began to fidget with his mask, pulling it off.

Then, you saw his beautiful face, golden hair atop his head flattened and bangs covering his ocean deep eyes.

"Mmm, there's a pretty boy." You whispered, watching Killer's face flush as he moved closer, then sat himself besides you.

"Shush and.. relax. You're so tense." You hadn't even realized how stiff you'd been until killer pointed it out. Yet again he picked you up and postponed you in-between his legs. You often admired how easily he could just- move you. Like you weighed nothing. But then again, it was Killer- nothing was too heavy for him.

His hands made their way to your shoulders. "Killer.." you mumbled, feeling his hands beginning to work, massaging your muscles. You bit your tongue, but heavens above, it felt good. The smallest of shameful noises left you and you quickly squeaked out, sorry!

Killer only smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to your cheek. "Relax. The point of this is for you to feel good. It won't get sexual." Oh, how contradicting those words could be in any other scenario. But you trusted him. Even if you still didn't plan on making more. Every so often, Killer would work a spot that had you gasping, and he'd lean back in, lips capturing yours in a gentle kiss. "Doing so good." He'd whisper, hands moving to your sides, working his fingers there.

"Don't deserve to deal with those assholes." Killer would mumble, "you're one of the strongest and most talented on the crew." "Kid knows it, he needs to express it."

His constant validation, and soft voice, had you melting in his touch. "Killer.. you're too good to me."

You leaned against his chest, staring up at your boyfriend. He met your gaze with a soft, love struck one, and smiled, "no.. you're too good for us. For me."

Killer rolled you so you laid on the bed, him towering over you, before he leaned back so he partially rested on your legs, glancing around before moving to his side, pulling you into his chest.

"It's been a while since we could really cuddle." You murmured, snuggling a bit closer. Killer nodded. "...figured you'd need it. Seriously.. I'll deal with Kid." The blonde promised, rubbing your back, and you angled your head up. "S okay. It's just how.. he is. Doesn't make me hate him any less, but.. well, I'll get over it."

He rolled his eyes. "You don't need to get over it. Kid needs a wake up call every once in a while." You nodded in agreement, "I spose so. But don't terrify him this time.. last time you scolded him he looked like he wanted to murder himself." Killer almost snorted, remembering the confused and enraged look Kid had on his face. "I make no promises."

Leaning down, he caught your lips in a kiss, gently moving closer. His movements were gentle, holding you as if you would break under any touch, lips dancing together. Your hands tangled in his hair and held him close, his own hand traveling up your side, fingers ghosting over your skin before coming to rest at your lower chest, holding you down. A slight gasp escaped you, and just for an instant, Killer had slipped his tongue in, gently prying to your tongue, before breaking away, panting softly.

"..we should sleep." You whispered, amusement in your voice to see how flustered Killer had grown, and he nodded slowly.

"Yeah.. as long as you feel a bit better.." He whispered.

"As long as you're happy."

[cutecurly-hair]

Hearts Unleashed (Part 1)

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Black!fem!reader

Warning: Fluff, Smut in later chapters, Body Shaming

Words: 2234

Please interact and comment to keep it going. I always love to know what you think.

"What does this mean?" I stared at the piece of paper clutched tightly in my hand. My mom's eyes held an unmistakable unease as she replied, her voice tinged with worry, "This is our plane ticket to England."

Excitement bubbled up inside me as I glanced at the tickets. "We're going to England for a vacation! I had a feeling this year would be different. Do you think we can visit Paris while we're there? I heard it's just a quick train ride away."

My mom chuckled nervously, her laughter quivering. "That's the thing, honey, this isn't just a vacation; it's permanent."

My brows furrowed as I examined the ticket more closely, finally noticing the bold "ONE WAY" printed in the upper right corner. "What do you mean, one way?" Confusion washed over me, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"It means we'll be officially moving to England. I applied for a new job there, and I got it," my mom explained as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She saw the panic in my eyes and hurriedly added, "I understand it's sudden, but I think this will be a great change for us. I've even found a fantastic school with an amazing film program that I know you'll love."

My mind raced. "I don't even know what to say. Why are you telling me this now?" My whole life was here in America, and the idea of packing up and moving to another country was almost too much to bear.

"Honey, I know it's sudden, but they called me today, and they need me to start immediately. That's why we have to leave tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! I don't even have time to pack, let alone say goodbye to my friends. We can't just uproot ourselves from LA and head to England." I looked around our apartment, a cozy haven that had been my home for the past seven years. It felt like things were finally getting back to normal.

I glanced at the ticket again and saw the fine print: Departing from LAX tomorrow at 10:45 am. "I should really start wearing my glasses," I muttered under my breath.

My mom tried to reassure me, "Everything will work out fine. I've hired movers to come during the week and help ship the rest of our stuff. Tonight, all we need to do is pack our personal things and head to the airport first thing in the morning."

I felt like I wanted to argue, but then I saw how tired my mom looked. Her face seemed really worn out, and she had a tired look in her eyes. It made me realize that maybe I hadn't been paying enough attention to how she was feeling lately.

I decided not to bring up my concerns because I didn't want to make things worse. I didn't want to fight with my mom when she already seemed so tired and stressed. So, I chose to keep quiet and let it go for now, even though I still had my worries.

As we stepped off the plane in London, the dark grey skies clouded my vision, and the unfamiliar air filled my lungs. Instantly, I began to miss home. With half of my life packed away in two large suitcases and three duffel bags, this was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"Have your other bags arrived yet?" my mom asked, her eyes darting to the time on her wrist.

"Sorry for making you wait," I replied with a sigh. "When you're packing your whole life into a bag, it tends to take a while." I was far from being in a good mood after only managing to grab a couple of hours of sleep, spending one of them writing an overly dramatic paragraph to my friends about where I'd be for the next few years.

"There's no need to get sassy with me, Y/n," my mom chided. "I'm just worried about the time. I don't want to be late for the shuttle. If we miss this one, the next won't be for another three hours. And I'm sure you don't want to spend that much time at the airport."

Before I could respond, I spotted my color-coded bags moving slowly along the conveyor belt. I collected them and loaded them onto a trolley, then couldn't help but add a mockingly sweet tone, "Now, we can go."

My mom led the way to the shuttle, looking a bit lost in the bustling airport. She approached a stranger for directions, and I listened intently, realizing I needed to get used to the distinct accent. My mom thanked the stranger urgently, and we hurriedly made our way to catch the shuttle, leaving behind the life I'd known in America.

Arriving at our new home in England I couldn't help that there was a mix of excitement and trepidation. I had seen pictures of the place, but it was entirely different to stand in front of it, knowing that it was going to be our home for the foreseeable future. My mom, ever the optimist, had put in tremendous effort to ensure it was the best flat on the block.

As we approached the building, I noticed the quaint charm of the neighborhood. Rows of terraced houses with colorful front doors lined the cobblestone streets. It was a far cry from the sunny, palm tree-lined avenues of Los Angeles that I had called home.

My mom had informed me earlier that her new job had provided relocation money, and she had spent hours researching and visiting potential flats to find one that met all our needs. She was determined to make this transition as smooth as possible for me, especially since I wasn't exactly thrilled about changing schools.

The flat itself was a cozy two-bedroom apartment on the top floor of a charming Victorian building. It had large windows that let in plenty of natural light, and I could see the spires of an old church in the distance. The living room had plush sofas, and I could just imagine the walls being adorned with artwork from home. She had even managed to find a flat with a small balcony where we could enjoy tea on sunny afternoons.

As we stepped inside, I couldn't help but be impressed by how homely it felt, despite being in a foreign country. My room, though smaller than what I was used to, had a window overlooking the quiet street below. I packed some of my posters and photographs from our life in LA, making it feel like a small piece of home.

As I unpacked my belongings, I couldn't help but reflect on the whirlwind of changes that had brought us here. My parents' divorce had been a long and sometimes painful process, but with me finishing up middle school, it seemed like the right time for a fresh start.

In my mom's perspective, this move was a chance for something new and exciting, a way to turn the page on a difficult chapter in our lives. But for me, I felt like I was just along for the ride, caught up in the decisions made by the adults in my life. It wasn't easy to accept that we were starting over in a completely different country.

While I tried to look on the bright side, I couldn't shake the feeling that my mom should have told me about it much sooner. The truth was that I was still deeply hurt and confused.

But as I glanced out the window of our new flat and saw the quaint streets of our new neighborhood, I knew that, in time, I would find my place in this new chapter of our lives. Change might not come overnight, but I was determined to make the most of it and find the silver lining in our fresh start.

—-----

A whole week had passed, and I swear my boredom had reached Olympic levels. Our furniture from LA finally showed up a few days ago, and let me tell you, I became the world champion of room redecorating in record time. But apart from that impressive feat, my life had all the excitement of a cardboard box. School isn't kicking off until Monday, which gives me a gentle nudge that I should probably check out the film program my mom's been raving about. 

Feeling all organized and responsible, I sat down and sketched out the route from our place to the school. It's like a 20-minute walk, which I can totally handle once I get the hang of it. But if I'm feeling a bit lazy (which happens, like, all the time), there's a nifty 10-minute bus ride option. Plus, my mom's still knee-deep in paperwork to send our car overseas, so it's official I'm becoming a bus pro.

Then I checked out the school's website, and the film program doesn't look half bad. They've got this YouTube channel packed with short films that are more interesting than binge-watching cat videos. And here's the real kicker they've got a partnership with Netflix! I mean, seriously, how did they manage to pull that off? They're talking about workshops and internships, and I'm just here thinking,

"Who's the magician that got Netflix on board?" That seriously is impressive.

Looking out of the window, I couldn't believe my luck the sun was actually shining for once! After days of nothing but gray skies, it felt like a small miracle. I was starting to understand that sunny days were a rare commodity in this place. So, I thought, why not make the most of it while I could?

I swapped out my usual outfit for a pair of comfy shorts and a cool graphic tee. In a flash, I was out the door, ready to savor every bit of that precious sunshine.

As I continued my stroll through the neighborhood, I stumbled upon a charming park nestled amidst the houses. The sunlit meadow was dotted with people, and what caught my eye was the number of folks out and about with their dogs. It was becoming evident that this was definitely a big dog-loving community, and the park was their social hub.

I watched as playful pups frolicked, tails wagging with unbridled enthusiasm, and their owners chatted amicably, forming a tight-knit community within the community. It felt heartwarming to witness such camaraderie, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight.

I stumbled upon the perfect photo opportunity, one that would fit perfectly in my collection. I'd forgotten my camera at home, but my trusty phone would have to do. As I aimed to capture the moment, an unexpected collision sent my phone tumbling to the ground.

Before I could get a word out, the other person beat me to the punch. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," he said, hastily bending down to retrieve both of our phones. It turned out he had dropped his phone as well.

I felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up. "No, no, it's alright. It was my fault for standing right in the middle of the walkway," I replied, cheeks tinged with a hint of red.

He handed back my phone with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. Hopefully, it didn't crack," he said, his own cheeks taking on a shade of pink.

I shook my head, trying to conceal my own embarrassment. "No big deal. You might have done me a favor, actually. It's about time I got a new phone, and this could be the perfect excuse," I quipped, waving my phone playfully. The boy chuckled warmly.

"Thanks for not making me feel awful about it," he admitted, appearing relieved. "I'm Charlie, by the way." He extended his hand, and I shook it with a friendly smile.

I responded, "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, Charlie." The friendly atmosphere that had enveloped us earlier seemed to dissipate, leaving an awkward silence in its wake.

Charlie finally broke the silence, his voice tinged with shyness. "Sorry, but I can't help but notice the accent..."

I smiled, realizing his curiosity. "Oh yeah, I'm from America. We just moved here last week, right down the block," I stated, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

Charlie's eyes lit up with excitement. "Right down the block! I live right down that way." I couldn't help but feel my own excitement grow.

"I live where the new flats were built, I think they're called the Avalone Suites or something," I mentioned. Charlie's face instantly lit up with recognition.

"I live right across from you! Everyone around the block has been raving about the new building," he exclaimed,

As Charlie and I walked back to my apartment, he chatted animatedly about the neighborhood, sharing tidbits about the local shops, nearby parks, and the best places to grab a bite. It was clear he was friendly and genuinely excited to have a new neighbor.

During our conversation, we made another delightful discovery – we were both going to the same school. It was a pleasant surprise that eased my earlier concerns about not knowing anyone in this new place.

By the time we reached my apartment building, Charlie had almost talked my ear off, but I didn't mind one bit. With a warm smile, I turned to him and said, "Thanks for walking me back, Charlie. I guess I won't be starting school completely alone."

Charlie grinned in response; his eyes filled with genuine friendliness. "Anytime, Y/N. I'm looking forward to seeing you at school."

We added each other on each other's socials before we parted ways.

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/cutecurly-hair/727972531449020416/hearts-unleashed-part-2?source=share

[felixsramen]

When i saw the part where y/n said that she was an introvert and loves reading i was in tears really i wanna thank this person that she reqested that!

So i wanna ask if you could do maybe a oneshot where y/n has a really down day couldnt sleep and when it was morning she was out for groceries and the members were at work and when they came home they saw y/n lying on the couch sleeping but with a book in their hand and the members realize how much y/n was struggling lately and they do something to help her getting better maybe? If thats okay for you i mean you dont habe to but i would really love that

I really liked this ask. Im sorry it's a little short though.

It was probably about 4am now. You were awake on the giant bed that your boyfriends had decided to buy so you all could sleep together. You were currently in-between Changbin and I.N. It was raining at this point and the rain matched your mood. You couldn't sleep after being stressed from work and getting that promotion that had you working later. Instead you climb out of the bed and make your way to the living room.

It hadn't been even a week of getting that promotion. You go to the blinds and open them all the way. You watch as another flash of lightning brightened the sky. You couldn't help but sit on the couch by the window looking out it.

The rain splattered across the sky and you watch as the leaves and tiny branches from the tree in the front yard come down. You couldn't help but cry. You had been yelled at yesterday by your boss for the stack of papers that she had gave you earlier in the week, when she had given you the promotion, hadn't all been filled out by yesterday.

Luckily she didn't force you to do another day of work and told you she expected it done when you returned. It didn't make you feel any better though knowing this was just the first week. It didn't help that your boyfriends were busy working and getting ready for their comeback. So they were staying late practicing and would come home tired and just ready to eat and rest. It didn't bother you much but you were starting to miss spending time with them.

You were sobbing at this point as the droplets hit your window covering it up. Eventually the tears dried and so did the rain but the clouds were still grey. You had stayed up all night and into the morning.

You hear the door open. The light turns on and you see Seungmin who has bed hair. He yawns and stretches. "What are you doing in here this early?" He asks you in his morning voice.

"Couldn't sleep." You tell him and he makes his way to the couch. He goes up to you and climbs onto the couch cuddling into you. Your hand goes to his hair and he sighs.

"They'll be getting up in a few minutes. I have to get ready for work too." He says yawning again. Your nails go into his hair and scratch his scalp and he sighs with content.

He slowly pulls away from you reluctantly. He goes into the room again probably to get the rest of the boys up. Within 30 minutes the house is full with your 8 boyfriends.

"Fucking hell. It's too early for this." Jisung whines onto Hyunjin who is half asleep but ready to go on the other couch.

Your other 6 boyfriends make their way to the living room. "I really don't want to go. Sometimes I wish I had decided to do literally anything else that doesn't involve me waking up at the ass crack of dawn." Minho grumbles as he grabs the keys.

Chan nods eyes heavy as he takes a sip of his coffee. "I'm so tired." Jisung whines again.

"Lets go. They said they'd let us leave work early and then we'll have a couple days off after." Chan says taking another sip of the coffee he made.

The boys file out of the house waving at you and telling you they love you. Changbin sighs. "We'll be back around 1." He says bag on his shoulder.

"I'd appreciate it if you went shopping today. I left money on the nightstand." Minho says yawning and you nod your head.

"I love you." He says and you return it. He sighs as he closes the door behind him. You let out your own sigh.

You weren't feeling much better. You instead went on your phone scrolling through for the next few hours before you decide to go to the grocery store.

You don't feel good about yourself so you throw on a pair of sweatpants and one of Felixs hoodie, opting on going for a more lazy look. Who cared anyways? It was just the grocery store. You grab the money that sat on the nightstand and you put it in your wallet and grab your purse shoving it inside.

It didn't take you long getting in the car and going to the store. Luckily Minho had made a list of things that you needed to get. You were quick to find them knowing you couldn't stand being out in public at the moment. You checked the list once again making sure you had gotten everything.

Your phone buzzes. "Also me and Bin need protein shakes for working out. Love you and thank you!" A message from Chan reads. You try your best not to make a face at the mention of the protein shakes Chan and Changbin would chug. You sigh but go towards that aisle.

You quickly grab it and check out. You were glad the house wasn't too far. You got home and put the groceries up quickly and it was around noon. You wondered if the boys kept your book out that you had currently been reading or if Minho had put it up with the rest of your books.

You go to the drawer occupying the room and open it finding your book. Luckily the bookmark was in it still. Jisung had a habit of picking your book up wrong and the bookmark falling out of it. You grab the book shutting the drawer. You make your way to the hall closet grabbing an extra blanket from there and making your place on the couch.

You had gotten halfway through the book before your eyes started getting heavy. Not being able to sleep last night must've taken a toll on you because before long your eyes give up on you.

The boys pull up to the house getting out. "Why did we have to be there so long today? I thought we were getting out at 3." He complains as he grabs his bag.

"We would've left around 1 if you spent more time practicing than complaining about doing it." Hyunjin says glaring at his boyfriend.

"It was hard and we were there all dayyyy." Jisung says dragging out his last word.

Minho raises an eyebrow at his boyfriend. "You literally got it in like 20 minutes after you stopped complaining." He says as Chan grabs the keys from his pocket.

"So you're saying it's all my fault?" He says pouting.

"No it's not Ji. You weren't the only one complaining instead of practicing we all were." Changbin says as Chan unlocks the door letting them inside.

"Y/N!!!!" Jisung yells out for you ready to jump on you and smother you with love. Instead he sees you on the couch with a blanket and one of your books laying on you.

He comes up to you and the boys follow behind. Usually you'd be up doing stuff around the house to keep you busy while your boyfriends were gone on your off days.

"She's asleep." Jisung says to his boyfriends.

"We can see that Ji." Hyunjin says to him. Jisung glares at his boyfriend.

"You know what I meant." Jisung says looking back at you.

"I don't think she slept at all last night." Seungmin says speaking up to his boyfriends. They look at him confused.

He sighs. "I got up before you guys and I didn't see her so of course I went looking for her. I saw her looking out the window on the couch. So I went up to her and asked what she was doing up so early. She told me she couldn't sleep." Seungmin says to his boyfriends and they look at you concerned.

"I woke up at one point and noticed she wasn't in bed but I didn't think much of it at the time. I was too tired." Felix says to his boyfriends.

"How long has she been like this?" Changbin asks no one in particular.

"I think we should be concerned Chan." I.N. says and he nods.

"I don't think any of us realized how much she's going through especially with the new promotion." Minho says sighing.

Chan nods once again. Minho grabs the book and places the book mark in it. He sighs watching you.

"Should we wake her?" Hyunjin asks his boyfriends. Chan shakes his head.

"Not yet." Minho says agreeing with Chan.

"We should at least take her to the room." Felix says and they nod. Changbin scoops you up into his arms careful to not wake you up taking you in the room and laying you down.

Jisung and I.N. climb in bed too pressing their bodies against you. You cuddle into I.N.s chest who stays still. "Since we have the next few days off I think we should come up with days we each try and spend with her." Chan says and the boys agree.

"Me, Hyunjin, and Innie were going to go to the new little coffee shop tomorrow. We were planning on inviting her too." Seungmin says replying to his boyfriend.

"Okay good. For the next few days we're off let's all invite her to go with us wherever we go." Changbin says watching you.

You slowly open your eyes to being cuddled behind and in front of you. "Hey love. How'd you sleep?" Jisung asks from behind you.

"Better." You say sighing and rubbing your eyes. You try to sit up but I.N. and Jisung keep you in place.

"Did you sleep last night?" Changbin asks you concerned. They finally let you go so you can look at your other boyfriends. They all have concerned looks on their faces as you sigh.

"No." You say admitting it and Chan comes up beside I.N. and sits on the edge of the bed.

"Are you guys upset at me?" You ask them. You quickly get all 8 boys shaking their heads.

"Not at all we're just worried about you that's it." Minho tells you and you want to break into tears at their words.

You can't help but bite your lip to try and stop the tears. Chan sighs seeing you do that with a sad smile on his face. "What did I tell you about that?" He says hand coming to your face tugging your lip from your teeth.

That does it and you burst into tears. All of the boys quickly try and comfort you by hugging you. "It's okay love." You hear Seungmin say and that causes you to cry harder. "I missed you guys." You sob into their arms and they feel guilty about not being able to spend as much time with you.

When your tears finally stop the boys pull away but Felix doesn't. "You have to take care of yourself. Okay? No matter how much you miss us. You have to promise us that okay?" Felix says holding a pinky promise and you can't help but smile at the childish gesture. You take his pinky finger in yours too.

"I promise." You say and he kisses your hand.

"HUG PILE!!!" Jisung shouts and he throws himself on you followed by the rest of your boyfriends.

"You're squishing me!" You manage to say while laughing.

"Yeah. With our love." Hyunjin says making you laugh harder.

The boys pull away not before each kissing you on the lips. "We all love you no matter how busy we get. Remember that." Hyunjin says planting another kiss on your lips.

You were grateful to have all of your 8 boyfriends love for you and each other.

[collapsedglasshouses]

An Angel For Noah || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 10]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules [she/her]

MASTERPOST

SUMMARY: Jules and Noah finally face their difficulies, leading to them letting down their guards.

WARNINGS: ANGST, NSFW, MDNI, fingering, unprotected sex (p in v) [does it even count as unprotected, she is a fucking guardian angel idk], even more angst, swearing, mentions of mental health issues, mentions of death, ...

A/N: I cried. A lot. :) Also! I'd like to dedicate this chapter to @crimson-calligraphyx because I accidentally gave Jules' best friend her name in the exact same spelling as her own name! ALSO... this is not proofread... i'm sorry about that ._.

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @measuredingold @cncohshit @signs-of-ill-portent @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @ada-clarence @wild-child-7747 @thebadchic @thescarlettvvitch @cookiesupplier

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

“What am I doing?” Jules asked herself while looking at Noah’s sleeping figure. It’s been three hours since he had finally fallen asleep and Jules felt numb. Her heartbeat took some time to slow down a bit, but her mind was still racing as fast as it gets. She couldn’t get the image of him trying to climb over the balcony railing out of her head. She knew he wasn’t doing well but she didn’t realize it had been that bad. He needed help she couldn’t give him.

Every time she considered a strategy to help him, she couldn't follow through with it. The idea of merely returning to exist in his shadows appeared more impossible than ever. All of her past actions seemed like a lot of bad decisions. The fact that she now also had promised him to talk about the situation and see him again, made her feel even more at unease.

Her gaze remained fixed on Noah, and she felt a wave of nausea. It seemed impossible to get herself out of the situation. She didn’t want to leave him; he needed support, and she was determined to find a way to help him overcome his misery.

TWO WEEKS LATER

When Noah opened the door to his room, a deep sigh escaped him. The bags under his eyes were more pronounced than usual, and he found himself in a state of uncertainty. It had been a while since he last saw Jules. She didn't come to talk to him as she had promised, and although he yearned to resolve things, he understood it might be for the best.

He had phoned his therapist as soon as he woke up and made an appointment for after the tour. After that he went on and did his best. He performed as good as he could and even though the tour had been successful he was more than glad that it had ended.

His therapy session had just ended and now he didn't really know what to do. He was angry with himself that he let his intrusive thoughts get a hold of him back than but when he was being honest with himself he was even more disappointed that Jules didn't show up as she promised.

When he sat down at his desk, his phone suddenly vibrated.

ONE NEW NOTIFICATION FROM SADIE

He hadn't heard from her since that night he almost had a car accident while driving to her.

Sadie: What's up? You wanna meet up?

Noah stared at the message and began to bite the inside of his cheek. It wasn't like he didn't like her or something but since he met Jules, he hadn't thought of Sadie even once.

He sighed before laying down his phone again. This was dumb. He was acting dumb. He had this really nice girl waiting for him and he would have the advantage of getting rid of some stress, but he preferred to sit there and mourn his damn guardian angel. He wasn't even remotely sure what he was hoping to get out of it.

So, he stood up and grabbed his jacket and right as he was about to leave his room, he felt a hand on his shoulder and simultaneously his anger level seemed to explode.

"You can't be serious?" He blurted out and spun around to look at Jules. She looked terrible, if he could even say that. If she would still have been alive, he would have said she hadn't slept in a while.

"Noah-..." - "No! No fucking 'Noah'." - "I-..." - "Shut up, you didn't talk then and now I don't want to hear your excuses!"

He tried to turn around but Jules grabbed both of his shoulders to make him look at her. "You know damn well how difficult this whole thing is" Jules exclaimed and tried to suppress her tears.

"No, Jules. It isn't really difficult to just show up and talk." He answered her, ignoring his desire to touch her.

"You seem to forget who the fuck I am, Noah! I'm not even supposed to be here." She snarled at him.

"Then go." Noah answered coldly before getting out of her grip and storming of. He didn't even stop when he passed Nick who gave him a confused look.

He didn't allow him to think anything until he drove out of the drive way. Screams from the music echoed through his car as he gribbed the steering wheel harder. He couldn't believe this whole fucked up shit was happening as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.

When he left the neighborhood, he suddenly felt at unease and could just roll his eyes. "This isn't working, Jules. I'll still leave."

Nobody answered him. He was furious.

His knuckles slowly began to turn white from his hard grip on the steering wheel as he suddenly let out a frustrated groan and turned around as soon as he saw the last gas station before he would reach Sadie's house.

“Fuck off.” Noah shouted into the darkness. He couldn’t believe how much Jules had him in his grip. The last couple of days he tried his utter best to clear his head, get things sorted out, work on the problems that already consumed his mind, but Jules was the one thing that never left him. He couldn’t escape her, and he hated her for that.

“You need to stop, Jules.” He screamed and still, there was no answer. So, when he re-entered the house and stormed to his room, he was about to trash his room when he saw Jules sitting on his bed, staring at the wall.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He screamed at her, causing her to flinch.

“What are you talking about?” She wanted to know, not even caring to look up at his angered face. She really didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Oh, come on, Jules.” He answered her and started pacing up and down the room. He needed to let go. He needed to get rid of his piled-up frustration.

She slowly stood up from his bed, her eyes following his wandering figure. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know what he wanted. But she knew her following spiteful comment didn’t ease the tension. “Enjoyed your trip?”

Noah stopped in his tracks. “You can’t be fucking serious, Jules.” – “Care to explain your psychotic outburst?”

When Noah looked at Jules like that, he didn't realize how exhausted she appeared.

Instead of answered her, he began to shake his head unamused. “You know exactly what you did.” – “You’re insane.” – “OF FUCKING COURSE… I’m talking to my fucking guardian angel who seems to have a great jealousy issue.”

Jules' brow furrowed as she processed what Noah had just yelled at her. His eyes sparkled with a slight hint of madness. A couple of seconds passed, before Jules finally realized what Noah was trying to tell her.

“You think I made you turn around from your booty call?” Jules wanted to know from him.

“I don’t think it, I know it and I need to know why.” Noah answered her and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Jules blinked a couple of seconds and felt a wave of relieve wash over her. “I hate to break it to you, Noah… But I wasn’t even following you.”

Jules looked into Noah’s eyes and saw how confusion washed over him. He wasn’t sure what he should believe anymore. He let out a frustrated sigh before he sat down at the edge of his bed, Jules eyes following him with concern.

"Why didn't you talk to me like you promised?" He asked her after a couple of minutes of silence, his eyes finally meeting hers.

Jules' heart sank at his broken frame. She didn't know what to say. She knew she had been a coward but she just wanted him to forget about her.

"This is all so confusing, Noah. I feel like we always run in circles." She breathed out and sat down next to him. "I think it would be best for me to just go back into your shadows, Noah. I'm making your live even harder than it already is."

Noah, deciding to ignore her statement, turned his upper body to her, "You need to tell me something, Jules."

She looked into his dark brown eyes which sparked with curiosity. Every time she dared to glance at him like that, she felt like she was going to crumble under his gaze. "What is it, Noah?" Her voice was not more than a whisper, both of them scared to ruin the moment like they did so often in the past.

"Did you feel it, too?" He calmly wanted to know and Jules heart rate increased rapidly. He didn’t even have to explain what he exactly meant.

If she felt it too? Of course, she did. Of course, she felt how their hearts aligned the first time their eyes met. Of course, she felt how she wanted nothing but to be close to him. Of course, she felt it too.

But Jules also knew she couldn’t just say that.

Noah's eyes never left hers. He wouldn’t let this go again. He needed to know if he really was going crazy. He noticed how Jules began to pick the skin around her finger nails and decided to step in. He carefully grabbed her hands. Again, there was this wave washing over him, every time he got to touch her.

And of course, she felt it too. But she didn’t know what to do. She knew, if she would talk, there was no way out of this anymore. Even less than before.

Noah, in the mean time, realized what her answer would be, giving her shift in demeanor. But he needed to hear it from her.

"Don’t make this harder than it already is, Noah." Jules whispered, both of them still getting lost in each other’s eyes.

"So, you felt it too." Noah exclaimed, not letting go of the subject.

Jules swallowed hard. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to let Noah go, but when he looked at her like that, their hands still intertwined, she felt like she was about to explode.

"Say it, Jules." Noah demanded, "Say it and I’ll let you go."

Jules' ears were ringing. Her cheeks were burning and the slight tint of Noah’s cheeks gave away, he was feeling the exact same thing.

"You promise?"

Noah nodded.

"I thought, I lost you." Jules than let out, causing Noah to raise his brows while Jules felt her tears coming up. "I-… I thought, you would do it, Noah. I had this gut-wrecking feeling that you would die…"

Noah swallowed hard.

"If that was the feeling Keaton felt when I was hit by that car… I-… I don’t wanna feel that every again… It felt like I was dying again." She explained while tears fell down her cheeks. Noah wanted to wipe them away but he decided against it, fearing he would lose her again.

Jules squeezed his hands harder.

"When I saw you making an appointment with your therapist and doing rather well after I left that night… I just didn’t want to disturb you again." Jules explained, only interrupted by her own cries.

Noah's heart sank. He knew he wasn’t doing well and he did everything he could to change that again but seeing her so broken because of his action made it even worse for him. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her and yet it seemed it was the only thing that brought them together. Hurting each other…

"I'm supposed to help you when you are in trouble. Prevent you from bad things but I feel like I’m the trigger to get you to do bad things and that’s just because I was so dumb to show myself." She rambled on, feeling a sense of relief from finally letting go of her thoughts. Noah's eyes became watery.

"But the biggest mistake was to let you touch me, Noah, because-…" Jules stopped mid-sentence, in hopes she could calm herself down, but nothing helped. The tears were flowing like there was no tomorrow.

"Tell me, Jules." Noah asked with a raspy voice from trying to hold his tears back.

"Because we both know this was the moment there was no going back." Jules whispered and sniffled quietly. Her gaze fell down to their hands, both of them holding each other with such force, as if one of them would explode into the nothingness.

Noah slowly let go of one of her hands and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Than he placed his hand under her chin to make her look at him. This was enough for Jules.

Everything she desperately wanted to keep from him broke out of her.

"I don’t even know if these feelings are real…" Jules let out and stopped in her tracks again. Noah gave her an encouraging look to go on.

"I feel so alive with you… You make me feel alive, Noah." She whispered and stared into his brown eyes.

For a couple of seconds, they just looked at each other, both processing what Jules had just said. And than… Noah broke.

"You're someone worth staying alive for, Jules."

Jules blinked for a second, trying to fight the urge of getting closer to Noah, but Noah took the decision from her when he mumbled "Fuck it..." and not even a second later grabbed Jules face and let their lips connect.

As their lips met, the scent of his cologne enveloped Jules, making her head spin with desire. Noah felt exactly the same. The warmth of her kiss spread through him like a comforting blanket on a chilly night.

For a second, both of them forgot how fucked up their situation was. They just pretended they were two adults, connect by fate. It was a bittersweet exchange, a mixture of longing and fulfillment that lingered in the air.

Their bodies gravitated toward each other, closing the distance as if pulled by an invisible force. Soon, Jules was being pulled onto Noah's lap and let her arms fall around his neck, while he grabbing onto her waist as if she would vanish any second.

Nothing even compared to the sensation Jules felt in that moment. Noah was the only thing on her mind and nothing was going to stop that. It felt like she only existed for this exact moment. To be close to him, to be held by him. All of his was new for her but she felt this deep need to get even closer to him.

For Noah, it felt like he had eaten the forbidden fruit. He had been in situations like this before but nothing in the world was able to compete with the feelings that washed over him, while his lips collided with Jules'.

When they finally pulled away, the air between them crackled with a newfound energy, the unspoken promise of what was to come. Their eyes met, a silent conversation passing between them, unlocking emotions that had long been hidden.

Jules' lips were red and puffy, while Noah's hair was even wilder then it had been just a couple of minutes ago.

Moments of silence passed between them, both getting lost in each others eyes.

Right as Noah was about to break this silence, Jules became bold. She closed their distance again, not being able to stand even a slight loss of contact with Noah. She felt her heart beating so fast that she was convinced for a second that she was in fact still alive.

She tried to push her thoughts of the future away as Noah's hands slipped under the plain shirt she wore. Jules shivered under his touch.

Even though Jules had no idea what she was doing, she let her feelings get a hold of her and began kissing down Noah's tattooed neck. She felt like she was going to explode when she heard his heavy breaths. Her hand grabbed the base of his hair without a second thought when Noah suddenly thrusted his hips up.

Jules moaned out in a mix of confusion and arousal. She couldn't believe this was really happening. She never made anyone feel the way Noah felt right now.

Noah pushed her slightly against him when she lifted her head again to look into his love drunk eyes.

"Are you okay?" Noah mumbled out, waiting for Jules' consent to the situation.

Jules looked at him for a short second before nodding frantically. She needed more. She needed Noah.

When she tried to kiss him again, he slightly backed away, a smirk on his face. "Use your words, Jules."

"I'm-..." Jules struggled to get out, "I'm more than okay, Noah."

Their lips connected again in a heated kiss and seemingly everything went fast, just like their whole relationship.

They helped each other out of their shirts, before Noah turned them around, hovering over the angel in front of him. He tried not to think about the fact that he was in fact making out with a somewhat ghost.

Jules was real to him. Jules was everything he needed right now.

He planted some soft kisses on her skin and felt how his lips began to prickle. This felt so unreal to him.

"You look so fucking beautiful." He breathed out while letting his hands run over her upper body. Jules felt goose bumps forming all over her skin. She couldn't quite comprehend how she was the angel in their position when every single touch of his felt so godlike.

“I-… I feel like I need more.” Jules said quietly even though it came out more like a desperate plea.

Noah’s hand traveled up to her breast slowly, pinching her hardened nipple for a short second. He didn’t miss how Jules thrusted herself against his thigh for a short second.

“Does it feel good?” Noah breathed out with a faint smile on his face before kissing Jules’ cheek.

Even though Jules had little to no experience, she noticed how he tried to tease her, but she wasn’t able to mock him back. She needed him so bad.

Jules whined out Noah’s name. “It feels so good.”

Noah kissed her deeply, quickly involving his tongue to get a taste of her. Jules couldn’t help but moan into his kiss loudly. Noah loved it, getting addicted to every precious noise he brought out of Jules. Just when Noah brought his knee between her legs, Jules swore she was about to die again. She couldn’t believe this whole thing was even better than she read in her little novels back when she was living in her small flat. Although their kisses slowed down a bit, their actions didn’t.

Jules shyly let her hand travel down Noah’s body, finding its way on his hardness. Noah felt like he was going to explode.

“God. Where did you learn that?” He moaned out in surprise, still not quite processing what was happening while Jules’ moves let him sink deeper into his delusion.

“You know? Reading books can help.” Jules smiled into the kiss, noticing how she got even wetter at his exclaim.

Her hand gripped him harder.

Noah let out a deep moan as he kissed down her neck and moved the hand that was previously placed on her breast down her stomach. Shortly they found their place on her clothed core. It didn’t take him long to push through the waistband of her shorts and she started to lightly massage her clit.

“Holy.” She moaned into his mouth while arching her back.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Noah whined out, causing Jules to giggle.

“And here I thought I was a reason to stay alive for.” She whispered out with a smile, causing Noah to tease her wet entrance with his fingers before going back to her clit again. Noah smiled at her aroused expression.

“You’re going to be the death of my piece and mind.” He corrected himself, before Jules let go of his hardness to help him get her out of her last pieces of clothing.

Looking at his angel in all her glory was mind blowing to Noah. He was sure he felt his cock twitch in excitement when he looked at her beauty. It felt like she was glowing, and Noah just craved her taste even more.

But he wanted to take it slow. He didn’t know if this was the last time. He didn’t know if they were going back to their weird state of knowing about each other but ignoring their connection at the same time. He would do everything in his power to burn these images in both of their heads.

He circled her clit faster and faster as he leaned forward to kiss Jules deeply. He swallowed every moan of her as he felt himself get more and more aroused.

Then, for a moment, he stopped and looked the girl under him in the eyes, asking for silent consent. Jules slightly nodded; her mind clouded with the man in front of her.

“Please.” Jules groaned as she felt his fingers sink into her deeper and deeper.

“You’re so tight, I can barely fit my fingers in.” Noah teased the girl as he, again, kissed her neck.

Jules gripped Noah’s hair tightly as she pushed herself down on his hand. It was a brand-new sensation for her. It wasn’t like she hadn’t touched herself during her lifetime, but feeling Noah’s fingers inside of her felt like she was meant to be his.

Noah quickened his pace, while his other hand found it’s way to her cheek, caressing it with softness. Her moans echoed through the room, and he wanted nothing more but to record them and play them over and over as if it was his favorite song.

Jules leaned forward to catch Noah’s lips again. Jules didn’t know what had come over her but everything just felt so good and right.

“Fuck, you are perfect.” Noah muttered into the kiss. “Please… Please come for me. You can do it.”

And Jules did. The words and moans that come out of her mouth nearly made Noah come on the spot. She barely had the strength anymore to tell him how good he made her feel while she began shaking in pleasure. All she could do was running her fingernails over his bare back.

For a couple of seconds, Jules just whimpered in ecstasy.

“Your voice is my favorite sound.” Noah whispered and peppered kisses on her cheek as she came down from her high.

All Jules could do was capture Noah’s lips in another kiss, showing her gratefulness to share this moment with him. The kiss became deeper as she wrapped her arms around him, catching him in a firm embrace. She couldn’t let go of him.

Noah let it happen. He also slung his arms around her as if life depended on it. But hugging each other seemingly didn’t do enough anymore.

“Again…” Jules mumbled into his shoulder, causing Noah to widen his eyes. “I need you.”

“Shit… You really want to?” Noah asked, making sure he wasn’t dreaming right now. He lifted his body up slightly, to look her in the eyes.

“I need to feel you, Noah.” Jules whined and left the man over her speechless.

Fuck.

Noah needed to calm himself down. He was already so close to letting go of himself, when he simple looked at his angel. Even now, with the remains of their shared moment hanging in the air, he wondered how it would feel to be inside of her. That’s when he allowed himself to think about the fact that Jules was in fact not a person wandering this earth. He was kind of sleeping with a ghost… Or going insane… Probably both.

“We don’t need t-…” – “I want to, Noah.”

Noah let out a deep breath, nearly unable to ignore his own lust. Jules noticed the conflict going on in his head and quickly came to his rescue. She captured him in a sweet and soft kiss.

“I promise. I want this.” She muttered against his lips. “I want to be close to you. Do you want to?”

Noah nearly crumbled because of her words. Of course, he wanted her. So badly.

Noah swallowed hardly before deciding to let go. He quickly got out of his clothes, giving Jules almost no time to look at his beauty, before coming back to her, kissing her with such force, she nearly moaned again.

He placed himself between her open legs, thrusting his hardness against her pussy a few times, while analyzing her reaction with great interest. Jules took in every second she had with Noah. She was willing to do nothing else for the rest of her weird existence.

If Jules hadn’t already corrupted every little space of Noah’s thoughts, she would have done it now. Everything he could feel, taste, sense… It was Jules. Everything was Jules.

Jules shyly reached down to grab his erection and ran her hands up and down for a couple of times. Noah meanwhile began to shake under her touch. “It feels so good.”

His words hypnotized Jules as she circled her hand over his tip and stroked it a few more times. She would have never thought everything would lead to this moment. Jules felt her heat throb before moving her hips slightly upwards to guide his hardness into her.

Just the tip sinking into her, made both of them moan out. For a moment, Noah stayed still as he watched the woman move her hips even more to give him better entrance. Inch by inch, his cock sank into her, their breaths and whines echoing through the room as he stretched her out.

Noah begged this wasn’t just a dream. It felt more real than anything ever before.

“You’re taking me so well, angel.” He breathed out before placing a small kiss on her lips.

“You feel so good.” Jules answered him and looked into his eyes lovingly.

With that he finally thrusted into her. Everything aligned in that moment. All the moments they shared, all the fights, all the difficulties, all the feelings. Everything felt like it happened to bring them to this moment. It was as if they were the only to individuals existing in that moment. Sweet words were whispered into the heavy air of the room as the both of them gave each other exactly what they craved. Each other.

“Keep going. Noah. You feel so good.” Jules whisper shouted.

“God…” Noah moaned. “I love this so much.”

His pace became faster.

Without even thinking, Jules let out her next words. “I wanna feel your cum.”

Noah’s whole body prickled at her words. He couldn’t form words anymore, everything was hazed with the emotions he felt for her. He loved her. He loved being with her. He craved her.

Jules moved to meet his thrusts. Noah bit his lip. “You’re taking me so well.”

Jules kissed him again, feeling like she had never felt more emotions at the same time in her life.

“That’s it. Let go, Jules.” Noah grunted, making sure to give Jules her time. He was hitting all the perfect spots.

His thrusts became harder, while he captured her hands above her head, getting even better excess. They moaned in sync. It was their final straw.

They both came with a loud moan, his cum spilling inside of her with each thrust. For a few moments, their heavy breaths were the only thing that filled the room. Both coming down from their highs with a few kisses, all filled with the silent confessions of love.

When Noah caught his breath again, he kissed Jules again. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

“So are you.” Jules answered him with a sweet smile while she gazed over his face. He was in fact so beautiful. From his dark brown eyes that held so many secrets, to the small freckles plastered over his face.

Slowly, Noah let himself fall into his bed, cuddling into her side immediately.

Jules, meanwhile, stared at the ceiling of Noah’s room, while her thoughts began to flow her brain. This actually happened. She, an individual dangling between life and death, had sex with the person she was supposed to guard. But he wasn’t just any person. He was Noah. Her Noah.

It took the two a couple of minutes, maybe an hour to finally speak up again.

“You don’t even know how much you mean to me.” Noah whispered out and brushed a strand of her out of her face. His anxiety had also caught up to him, but he tried to ignore it for a second longer while laying there.

Jules bit her lip. Her heart skipped a beat at his words, even though she tried to function normally again. “I can’t even describe what you mean to me.”

She turned to look into his eyes. She quickly noticed they both knew what was eventually going to happen now.

“One night.” Noah whispered in a pleading tone. “One night, where we don’t think about it.”

Jules swallowed hard. She knew it was going to end rather soon than late. She didn’t want it to but she knew it had to go this way. So, she nodded.

“One night.”

With that she leaned forward and kissed him again. She kissed him with such force, he wouldn’t have any chance to miss what she was trying to say.

After that, they got even closer to each other, letting each other embrace the love they shared for a moment…

One night…

PART ELEVEN

[deusvervewrites]

I recently checked out the ChimerOFA AU and realized no one’s asked how events like the USJ and Sports Festival went. How’d they go?

You'd think I'd figure out that these kinds of asks go long but here we are again

USJ:

Pulled out the randomizer again and it has decided that for his birthday today Bakugou is receiving Violence.

Midoriya is warped to the Shipwreck/Flood Zone, alongside Shoji and Bakugou. This lets him discover some interesting things about his new body, like the fact that he can swim really well, which he hadn't been sure about considering his hooves. Furthermore, his moth wings still function even after getting soaked, which he also had not known about. Much like Asui in canon, he rescues Shoji and Bakugou from the water.

Bakugou, of course, wants to fight his way out and pin Kurogiri. But there's a problem: he is also soaked, and with his sweat so diluted, he's basically Quirkless. I'm sure that won't cause him any serious stress. Especially because Midoriya doesn't actually know how to use 100% OFA in this AU, as his Mutations make him better adapted to it, so their only way off the boat is for Midoriya to fly them.

Despite Bakugou's protests, he is dragged off kicking and screaming by Midoriya.

(Meanwhile, Mineta, Kaminari, Koda, and Ashido worked together at the entrance to pin down Kurogiri long enough for Yaoyorozu to get outside and fire a flare)

Since they didn't actually deal with the Shipwreck Villains, Midoriya doesn't head to the central plaza because they'll be jumped from behind, or worse, pinned between two groups of Villains.

Unfortunately, Bakugou insists on running off the rematch Kurogiri and cut off the League's escape. He intends up building up his sweat again as he makes his way there. But before he really can, All Might arrives and engages the Noumu. In the end, the League is driven off, but Bakugou is there to see All Might deflate.

Sports Festival:

Midoriya handily wins the obstacle race. Not only has he been training with Tsunotori to move with his new legs, he's gotten more flight practice.

Speaking of Tsunotori, she's on his Cavalry Team, as is Shoji, thanks to their interactions at the USJ, with Uraraka finishing their team. Hatsume thus gets a bit of a short stick, since Midoriya, and Todoroki turn her down, having found their own strategies.

However, since Kirishima didn't get to interact with Bakugou at the USJ, there is not Bakusquad, and Bakugou himself is still coming to terms with everything that happened at the USJ, so he'd take her--so that he has someone on his team, if nothing else. Asui also joins Team Bakugou alongside Hagakure due to changing team compositions.

With Midoriya's wings, Uraraka, and Tsunotori's horns, they can fly pretty decently through this round. Ojiro and Shoda step down, replaced by Kamakiri and Shishido, respectively.

Tournament speedrun here we go.

Asui beats Iida with superior agility; Uraraka rings out Hagakure, Hatsume concedes to Yaoyorozu, Kamakiri beats Aoyama, Shinsou brainwashed Kaminari, Midoriya beats Shoji, Tsunotori takes down Bakugou, and Todoroki beats Shishido in their endurance match.

Asui is good, but it's a bad matchup for her, and Uraraka wins. Kamakiri overwhelms Yaoyorozu but challenges her to a rematch sometime. Shinsou brainwashes Midoriya via Quirkest comments only for OFA to snap him out of it and Midoriya proceeds to demolish him. Todoroki beats Tsunotori.

Uraraka takes a beating but rings out Kamakiri. Midoriya never heard about Todoroki's problems and simply overwhelms him. Finals is him versus Uraraka, but he's in much better shape than her, and has wings, so her go-to strategy isn't going to work on him. She concedes partway through.

[nourrris]

I hate, and love Steve Rogers.

there is no character who's given me as many conflicted feelings as he does, i can't tell if i absolutely hate his guts or adore him helplessly, one side is coming from the fact i love tony stark, and steve rogers is an absolute cunt for the way he's treated him at times (which some instances are understandable, but i still hold civil war against him) and then theres the version of him that i hold so close to my heart, excluding his confident demeanor and severe savior (guilt?) complex, he is still the man who couldnt help himself and risk his life for everybody else, the man who was pushed into a situation so life changing, experiencing the quite literal horrors of the world and humanity, both pre and post serum, he lived a rough life, especially with the timeline he lived in originally, and then the entire ordeal with bucky, the horrifying realization what's happened to one of the closest people in his life, what he's become, and the fact he's alive. (not that he ever got the chance to mourn anyways)

and thats not to talk about how his life was ultimately changed completely within such a small time frame for him, prior the modern years, living through a whole different world, about to sacrifice his life to mankind, then he wakes up 70 years later, the love of his life has aged in a way he didn't get the chance too, the world has became something completely separate to the timeline he lived in, he has to learn new social customs, new ways to adapt to how society exists, how is he meant to grieve or mourn through any of this at all? he had absolutely no time, he was consistently put into the highest of stress situations.

i hate how civil war went down, he gave away his life he had began building, of course there were multiple different ways to act and he definitely did not choose the right one, but i'll give the smallest inch of credit and say i'm not sure how i'd act either if i found my best friend (who was supposedly dead, now a deadly assassin) was back in the limelight for the worst reason possible, one that was causing the entire world to hate him, but not only that - his identity of actually still being alive is now public for the entire world to see, even if the man they saw hadn't actually been him.

i can't say i would have taken his side as confidently so brashly, almost killing a person you could almost consider a close friend in defense when they just found your supposedly dead (now assassin) bestfriend is at fault for who killed his parents, tony acting irrationally was rather reasonable, i'd understand bucky defending himself, steve through? i'd say its different, maybe?

he's also rather arrogant in same situations, especially in 'the avengers' when he says 'Big man in a suit of armor, take that away and what are you?' as if tony wasn't the genius behind making every little detail in the suit, constructing it all single handedly, and the prototype that had been created in a very spontaneous manner which still worked miraculously better than any person managed to create in a much larger time frame, and a much less stressful situation.

i cant pretend and believe that steve must know this information of course, they seemed like they had been roughly introduced to eachother, but also to make such a claim against somebody like him who's father was also an insanely credible genius, he should have given him at least some benefit of the doubt, or actually attempted to learn more about him before going straight for eachothers throats like a bunch of kids.

another part of that quote that irked me was the sacrifice one, i frankly do not understand that part, the entire idea of iron-man is one big ol' self sacrifice, there is no safe (or really sane) way to make a machine like that and go into conflict way too big for one person to overtake, he's almost died multiple times for the sake of helping society, the idea of getting his information right isn't even the biggest issue, its that i just genuinely dont understand why he keeps spouting out things with absolutely no context? he says he see's the videos, but its a little hypocritical steve rogers of all people is letting other people define who tony stark is when he lived his entire life being defined what society deems of him just by a single glance, unless of course he just saw one random iron-man video of the stark expo performance with the girls. (which god, i cringed at myself.. why tony, why)

still to act as confident as he did, i would have assumed he attempted to well.. learn more about the guy. i genuinely think this part itself is a poor writing issue though, it felt weirdly out of character, but i can understand it from a certain viewpoint i guess.

once more, another point i wanted to make this time was somewhat against tony's actual response to what steve said, of course in a way hes completely correct where "everything about him came out of a bottle", in a physical sense, but steves over eager need to help was always very evident, his courage in place since the dawn of the world. although, he realistically would likely have never been able to become the man he is without the serum, so well technically theres not much to fight back there, but the serum could have distinctively (and quite literally has) gone to the wrong hands, i'm not sure if i should be applauding him for having morals, but at last, its difficult to say how anybody would react to such a life altering experience, and not really even getting the chance to understand whats happening, or how it works.

i've likely gotten off track, but point is i think he's a very flawed character, but at the same time still one of the kindest people with a heart made out of gold, albeit a bit of a blockhead at times, he truly tries, and he was frankly put in a very unfair position, no matter what he signed up for, there was no world it could have possibly entailed what he's gone through so far, even if he doesn't regret it, or would do it a hundred times more.

anyways, i hate him and love him all the same, and still very strongly hate his ending in endgame (as a total writing issue, i cannot possibly blame the character).

thank you for reading this ramble, so sorry if this upset you, or if i actually got any of the lore wrong, do correct me if i have!

[chaosandwolves]

So uhm I saw this post by @poughkeepsies and started writing about it to @shortsighted-owl and suddenly this whole thing was written and I thought I'd share it with you

Thank you to @spookylexicon for helping me to make sure to use the right Spanish endearments here

6x14 coda, 1,2 k words, coming out, read on AO3

The colors of my heart

"Eddito you're not even trying, are you?"

"I'm sorry Pepa. I didn't want to disappoint you. It's just..."

"Did you not like her?"

"No, no she was great. Just like the others... I just,"

"Come on. Spit it out, what's going on."

Eddie, absolutely exhausted, swipes a hand over his face and falls into the chair next to Pepa.

His face is slightly crunched up as if he's not sure where to take the words from for what he's about to say. "I, uhm...."

He looks at his hands and forces himself to let go of the tension so that his fists fall open.

He wiggles his fingers a few times and says, "I'm... There is... I mean…"

It's really so ridiculous. It's not like he's seven and telling his father that he wants to marry his best friend and being chided for even thinking such things.

It's not like he's 15 and trying his hardest to fall for a girl, any girl, while his eyes keep wandering back to wherever Miles is.

It's not like he's 23 and in the army where some of the men get comfortable with each other, "to release some stress" and Eddie is terrified of what stirs in his chest.

He's here at his Tia's who has always loved and supported him and he knows she won't judge. Yet the words won't even form in his mind, let alone shape on his tongue.

He almost flinches when suddenly Pepa's hand is covering his. "Eddie, you know you can tell me everything, right?"

Eddie blinks a few times and realizes that his vision is blurry. He clears his throat and sits up, still not looking at his aunt. "Yeah. Yeah of course."

For a moment the silence seeps into every cell of him and it makes him twitchy and uncomfortable. It's not how he imagined this. Hell, he hadn't imagined it at all to be honest. So far he only had made careful remarks in therapy and Frank had been gracious enough to signal that he's open to talk about it but didn't push Eddie.

He hasn't talked with anyone about it. Most of the time his own thoughts are only vaguely shimmering in his mind and the only person he actually wants to talk to about it.... Well... That's just complicated, ok?

"Are you... I mean, is there someone else?" Pepa suddenly asks him, her hand still on Eddie's and talking in this soft voice as if she's talking to Chris who's upset about something.

Eddie doesn't know where he takes the courage from but he nods, "Yeah."

And even just admitting this bit out loud has such an impact on Eddie's body that he shudders. A nervous yet warm feeling spreads from his chest and dances over his skin in soft tingles.

Pepa leans back, still not letting go of Eddie's hand and he can hear the smile in her voice, "Ah. I see."

"Yeah," Eddie repeats again, not knowing how to expand on it.

He can feel Pepa's gaze on him. And he wants to be confident about it, he wants to hold his head up high and puff out his chest and say the words cause he's not ashamed. He isn't. There had been a time where he was. After he had been taught that it's something to feel ashamed about.

And repressing it had worked for a long time. But when he told his father months ago that he wants to get better for himself, Eddie already knew that unpacking this particular shame would be a big part of it. He may not be able to be proud of it just yet but he's not ashamed and he's made his peace with it a while ago even though he hasn't said any of it out loud yet.

In a moment of courage he glances over at Pepa whose eyes are still on him, her expression soft and carefully attentive.

He opens his mouth and almost blurts it out but a car honks nearby and Eddie loses his momentum.

He averts his eyes and looks out over the front porch.

Pepa squeezes his hand lightly and asks, "Do they deserve your love?" And Eddie swallows, very aware of how open, how gender neutral, this question is.

But he nods immediately, not even having to think about the answer for a second.

"Good," Pepa says.

A few seconds pass and Eddie knows it's his turn now.

Pepa has reached out to him as far as she dared, nudged him without pushing him and has handed the reins over to him.

The nervousness prickles under his skin and suddenly he can't bear to not move anymore. He shoots up to his feet but is so surprised by his own action that he doesn't know what to do next.

In an attempt to ground himself and find his footing again, he drives his hands through his hair and lets out a long breath. For a second he contemplates running but instead of moving forward his body turns and he looks right into Pepa's eyes.

"I'm," the word is already formed in his mouth and he can taste it on his tongue but somehow it refuses to be released into the open.

Pepa holds his gaze and slowly stands up. She takes a step towards Eddie, reaches out and curls her slim fingers around his biceps. "Eddito. You don't have to,"

And suddenly, without his doing, the word explodes out of him, "Gay. I'm.. I'm gay and Buck.. It's.. I.. Buck."

Eddie freezes as he hears the words leaving his mouth and his eyes go wide in shock. The following seconds stretch and stretch and Eddie feels like if he moves now the air around him will shatter. He's already bracing himself for the loud 'boom' of an explosion, for the irritating crunch of glass under his boots. But instead of being thrown back against the wall by the shockwave, he's gently pulled forward. "Oh Eddito, come here," he hears Pepa saying while her arms wrap around him. It takes him a solid five seconds to shake off the shock and then he can't hold himself back and he squeezes Pepa against his chest.

He has no idea how long they stand there holding each other. But when Pepa pulls back his heart feels just that little less sore around the edges.

Pepa doesn't let go of him, instead grabs him by his arm again and cups his cheek with the other hand. "I am so proud of you cariño." And Eddie doesn't even try to blink back the tears that are rapidly welling up in his eyes. For a few more heartbeats they just look and smile at each other before Pepa hugs him again, shorter this time.

When she takes a step back a somewhat mischievous grin brightens her face. "So, Buck?"

Eddie laughs. Pepa nods, "I can see that. He's a good one."

"Yeah, he is," Eddie agrees.

Pepa pets his cheek and lets out a breath. "Ok. Let's go inside. It's time to make dinner and I can teach you a secret family recipe you can make for your Buck that'll make him fall in love with you." She winks at him and Eddie groans, "Tia. No." But he follows behind her with his head held high, his chest puffed out and a faint sense of pride pulsing in his chest.

[bisexualbard-writes]

For that trope kimchay challenge. My favourite trope is role reversal au (like for example Chay being mafia and Kim being ordinary person). My least favourite au is college au. I think it is mostly to do with me being no longer in school so I don't find this trope that appealing. Especially when it all revolves around being in school and dorms etc. Thank you for writing it. You are great writer and I like this challenge too.

OKAY so I've been thinking a lot about a college AU and how to make a kimchay college AU appealing to the post-college reader. I think college AUs usually focus on the things you've mentioned - classes, dorms, young adult social life and sex, etc.

But. That's not technically the purpose of college. The purpose of college is to figure out and get trained in whatever you want to do with your life.

From what I can tell from BL, universities there make you choose what you're majoring in when you first apply. In my world Chay chooses to go somewhere where he can take care of his generals first and then declare his major at the end of his second year.

When Kim first asked why Chay was studying music, he said he wanted to do it because it seemed fun. But by the end of Kinnporsche, I think Chay realizes he can't live on fun anymore.

Honestly he never could, which is why he said in ep. 1 something along the lines of "I don't think school can help us anymore" about trying to clear the impossible debt. I think he doesn't see a future in which they can keep dodging the loan sharks until he graduates, so why does it matter what he actually studies. There's a reason he shoots his shot with Kim, and it's because to an extent he's living like he's doesn't know how much time he has left.

Post show they've made it out from under the loan sharks... now they're just living under the thumb of the mafia. We know Chay is opposed to the dangers of the mafia, I think he'd probably resent the money he now has access to. But it does change the timeline for him. He knows he'll be able to afford tuition for all his years of college now, and that puts college back on the table as something valuable.

If he ever wants to completely separate himself from the mafia, that's going to mean being able to support himself independently. He knows what it is to be poor, and need to take out loans. He and Porsche were happy together when they didn't have money, of course, but he thinks they would have been even happier and less stressed if they hadn't had to worry about loan sharks at their door.

All that to say, he might still love music, but he might want to choose a field of study with more financial stability than music.

So after a year of being miserable in the compound he goes back to college, just doing his generals since he doesn't know yet what he wants to do with his life. And maybe somewhere in that first year he and Kim make up, and continue making music together. They grow to be so happy together

But when it comes time for Chay to declare a major, he and Kim end up fighting about it.

Kim thinks Chay should study music, because it's what he always wanted to study, and he's so good at it. But Chay thinks that maybe he should choose something "practical" instead. Business, or engineering, or computer science.

It's the classic passion or practicality conundrum everyone not born rich wrestles with at least a little bit.

Kim does not understand, they have the privilege of being rich why don't take advantage of it and follow their passions. He knows Chay doesn't like the maifa, but he sees Chay trying to pick something "practical" and a rejection of Kim himself. Because it's not practical to love and be with him if Chay is trying to break away from the family long term.

I don't know exactly how they'd resolve it. I think I'd like to see Chay take the practical studying. I'm always seeing media telling you to follow your dreams and it'll all work out alright - but the shows, movies, and books that proclaim that are all made by people who were capable of succeeding in following their dreams, and so are able to glorify and say that if you just want it hard enough and work yourself hard enough that it'll happen.

I want to focus on the joy and comfort of a quiet, stable life. I think Chay and Kim would like that too, eventually. But I think they'd have to work to get to a place where they realize that's an okay thing to want.

Anyway, this is less of an outline for a fic and more of a vibe, but I think it could be an interesting character study!

(send me a trope, maybe one you hate, and I'll attempt to kimchay it)

[ar3ndoesarson]

Anytime he goes away

Hello, long time no see. This is probably going to be a bigger project (both because I have so much planned and because I'm struggling with realizing my plans for this fic).

I based this title off of "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers.

Hope you enjoy :^)

"I still don't get why they went like 'Yup mhm these bright-ass neon lights are exactly what our patients should have to look at on a daily basis." Lance looks up at the ceiling lamps and nods his head dramatically. "I mean if I had to lie in that bed all day, staring at this monstrosity of a light source I'd probably also develop a depression!"

"Lance I thought you're here to keep me company? Or would you rather spend your day arguing about design choices of a goddamn hospital?" "It's not just a design choice, it's a health hazard, Keith!" Lance jumps up from his chair and points at the lamps like Keith wouldn't know what he was even talking about. Like he didn't have to stare at said lamps for the last week.

Keith had been brought a few days ago, six to be exact. Lance had counted because six days seemed like a long time to keep someone because they had fainted. But then again he didn't know why Keith had fainted.

"You wanna go grab a snack? I'm starviiinng" the blue Pladin said slumping down in his chair. "Sure" Keith said whilst shrugging his shoulders. He kind of looked forward to getting out of his bed, because it meant he would have something else to look at than a boring white wall. And because it meant Lance came to visit.

Lance stared whilst Keith sat up from his bed and grabbed his IV pole for support to get up. Apparently they had to do some testing on Keith or whatever, nothing to worry, he had said and dismissed the topic with a shrug when Lance had asked about it.

The paladins made their way through the corridors with idle chit chat (half of it being Lance going on about how dull and dreary the whole hospital looked, to which Keith would reply that it was designed to be practical, not look pretty).

They made their way to the hospitals cafeteria, an alcove in the wall. It was still painted an unnatural white, but a few windows and cute seating areas across the space managed to make the room look actually a bit cozy. Once inside, they ordered and sat down at a table to wait for their food. From where he sat, Lance could see outside the alcove into the rather busy hallway they'd come from. A few nurses walked past, looking rather stressed. One of them turned their head looking in Lances direction. He gave a quick nod but got only a confused glare back.

A few minutes passed and they finally got their food, when the nurse from before reappeared and made their way to the two former paladins. "Keith, what are you doing here?" they asked. His head shot up in surprise, he hadn't even noticed the nurse until now. "Uh... I'm eating?". The nurse shook their head and then; "Come with me for a second, will you?".

Without any questions the black haired boy got up and followed the nurse a few steps away. Lance couldn't make out what they were saying, but it seemed like Keith was being scolded. He pointed his gaze to the ground for the most part, only once raising his head and taking up a defensive stance. If Lance could make it out right, it almost looked like he was afraid for just a second. Just as Keith turned to walk back to their table the nurse called after him one more time. "You know just as well as I, that you shouldn't."

When Keith sat back down, he didn't talk about it, and Lance didn't ask.

In hindsight he should've.

[thesoulbox]

I was reading one of his fanfics (THEY ARE SO GOOD BTW) and Gregory mentioned that his father died and that apparently, his mother is always busy. I know you only put this with the power of ✨plot✨ but I was thinking: What do you think happened to Gregory's mother in the middle of the mind control thing? (Sorry if this got a typing problem🥲 English is not my first language)

HIII HELLO ANON!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK !! <333

Okay I did kind of think of it a little bit, just for funsies! I'd like to think that Gregory was glitchtrapped a bit after his father died because he was trying to find some kind of escape from the stress of it all, and wowie! He found out about this new secret game at the pizzaplex and he just had to try it! Little did he know that he'd slowly get more and more addicted to it, because he absolutely had to *reach* the end. Becoming obsessed with this new game seemed to push all of his problems aside and relieved him of his stress, so he just kept going until he was eventually glitchtrapped.

But as for his mother and his home life in general, I'd like to think that he had a pretty nice family. His dad was always really silly and goofy and friendly and his mom was very sweet and kind, especially to Gregory. Which totally startled him out of his domestic bliss after his father died in a car wreck on his way back from work.

Ever since tthen, his mother has been taking double shifts at the hospital (I HC THAT SHES A NURSE) in order to make enough money for them all, she doesnt get home until late at night and rarely gets to talk to Gregory anymore, which would obviously stir a bit of pain inside of someone after losing so much and not having much support from the only support figure that he had left.

He saw glitchtrap as a support figure over time, he seemed..pretty nice, and what he said always sounded legit, so he couldn't be all bad right?

But as Gregory delved into the madness, his mother began to notice his increasingly erratic behavior. The sweet boy that she once knew was now much more violent and aggressive, his mood switching at a rapid pace whenever he talked to her. Over time, they began to argue more and more often.

Because Glitchtrap had been feeding him lies to fuel his slight resentment towards his mother, to make it into something bigger. Telling him that his mother did not care for him anymore, that she was a liar, that she was happy that his dad died.

Now typically one wouldn't just outright believe this, but Gregory had been so sucked into it and trusted this rabbit guy so much that he hadn't realized how insane some of the things he said were.

One night after a really bad argument, Gregory goes to apologize to his mother, as sweet as can be. And of course, that's her baby boy right there so she instantly forgives him. He offers to make her something to eat to make up for it, and she lets him, because she'd just gotten home from an all nighter and she was really tired of having fast food.

Glitchtrap had convinced him to get his mother out of the picture, saying that he didn't need her anymore. So he poisoned the food.

He thought it was rather merciful, his mother had died in her sleep and no one had even known it happened until it was too late, he buried her and then never spoke or thought of her again until after he was freed.

...trauma 😭