#i had. one. ONE. slice of pumpkin pie from my aunt.

[possiblydog]

happy black friday yougiyus

[peach-and-bugs]

That is very good, feeling extremely gay is the best.

While I'm here (since I was gonna request this last night/yesterday but I fell asleep), do you have any thoughts/head cannons on Adult!Yellow Jackets (whether you include cannon adult YJ's by themselves or as well as the others that died ((Jackie, Laura Lee etc)) is up to you) as parents/how they are around kids.

Just a thought, since Mama Lottie is the only thing I've been able to think about for weeks and I'm super excited for chapter 2 (no pressure on releasing it of course), and thought this would be cool.

If not don't worry I'll 100% understand if you don't xxx

-🐝

Oh my gosh, this is absolutely perfect for me, thank you so much for asking me to ramble about the girls as moms/aunts. It's my favorite thing to think about. Some of these will expand upon what I said in my SFW alphabet

Yellowjackets as parents/with kids

tw: food shame/judgment with Jackie religious themes with Laura Lee (all positive endings)

Jackie

✰ Jackie had a very strict upbringing to me. She was obsessed with being perceived as perfect and model all the time and I can only assume that was instigated by her parents (mostly her mother)

✰ She seems like the type to have kids, but she's always trying to improve upon how she grew up because she knows how that pressure feels and doesn't want that for her kids

✰ For whatever reason, I see her as a girl mom whose last kid is surprisingly a boy and she's thrown for a loop because she's so used to having girls, and having a boy is suddenly so different

✰ but as a girl mom, she tries to be really open for her daughters. She wants them to see her as just a normal person because that's how they'll then look at themselves. She's also that mom on holidays or family gatherings that lets her kids have control over what they eat

✰ I headcanon her mom was one of those almond moms who was always talking about what Jackie was eating or looked like and she's not gonna let that happen to her girls. She wants them to have a positive relationship with food from the start so they don't have to learn it like she did. She's opening up the pumpkin pie at thanksgiving before dinner is served and giving each of her kids a slice and noone can stop her

Laura Lee

✰ Laura Lee is still very involved in her church and faith in her adulthood and I can see her wanting that for her children too, but she makes it very clear that that faith for them doesn't need to be strictly Christianity. I think she'd probably take them to church when they're little, but she'd be really open to letting her kids know if that's not something they want, they can tell her they no longer want to go

✰ I can perfectly envision her as one of those moms at pride with the free mom hugs shirt on and proudly holding up her sign about how god made everyone beautiful as they are. She's also taking in any kid who needs a roof over their head and a hot meal, no questions asked

✰ I see her wanting to fully or partially home-schooling her kids. Can't really explain why, but it feels fitting

Lottie

✰ We already know a lot of how I look at Lottie as a mom, given my mama!Lottie tag and fic, Bean Sprout, but I'll never skip an opportunity to gush about her more!

✰ she's the epitome of the crunchy granola mom who's taking her kid out to the garden with her, encouraging them to dig in the dirt in their rain boots and overalls to find worms and other bugs and taking them on hikes with the dog. She's got her kid and her dog with her all the time.

✰ She's the kind of mom who wants her kid to try everything at least once, but not in a pushy way. She thinks it extremely important for confidence development that her kid knows that it's ok to try and fail because you can always get right back up again

✰ She's also really good with other people's kids. She likes watching the way kids think and the best way to see and understand that is by getting to know them on their level

Misty

✰ Misty's awkward around everyone, and that extends to kids as well, but she's a little better with kids than she is with adults. She babysat back when she was a teenager, so she still knows a thing or two

✰ part of me can see her as a mom while another part of me doesn't. I think had the crash not happened, she'd be more likely to have or adopt a kid of her own, but in the crash timeline that feels far less likely

✰ that or it's a situation where she thought she wanted to be a mom when she was growing up because "that's what everyone wants" but as she gets older she realizes that no, she really doesn't want to be a parent

✰ but I do think she enjoys being around children to some degree due to her babysitting days

Natalie

✰ So Natalie is an interesting one because my immediate reaction is always no, in no world does she like kids, but then I remember that she's actually pretty chill with kids and we see that when she goes to Kevin's son's soccer game

✰ In no way do I think she'd have a kid of her own, but she can definitely be the favorite aunt, that's for sure. She's gonna teach her friend's kids about the reality of the world, maybe how to get away with some very petty crime (but if they actually do it, she'll be pissed) and she's gonna go and take them to do the things they aren't supposed to, like getting sweets before dinner

Shauna

✰ I think Shauna prefers younger kids. She's definitely having a hard time with Callie and the teen years, but based on how she talks about Callie when she was younger, she enjoyed the younger days

✰ She seems like one of those moms who had trouble making other mom friends, but it's alright because she's go her little girl keeping her company

✰ I feel like Callie was her little mini-me, which makes her growing up harder

✰ she's definitely one of those moms who kept a baby journal when she was pregnant, writing to her baby nearly every day and she managed to keep it up throughout a good chunk of her childhood. she's planning to give it to Callie when she graduates high school

Taissa

✰ Tai gives me the vibe that having a kid wasn't something she initially considered when she was making her life plan, but now that she has Sammy she'd never go back

✰ I'm really hoping we get Sammy and Taissa again in season 3 because when she's in a good space and caring for herself she really is a good and caring mother, and it made me sad to lose that completely in season 2

✰ I personally think Samone carried Sammy and Tai stayed by her the whole time, making sure her wife got the best care she possibly could when they were in labor. After he was born and she got to hold him, she got this overwhelming feeling realizing that yeah, she's a mom now and this is her little guy to take care of

✰ she's definitely an only-child mom to me. I don't personally see her wanting another kid. can't really explain why on that one

Van

✰ Very much like Natalie, Van gives off chill aunt or step-parent energy to me. I don't see her having kids of her own, but she's definitely really good with kids. The only way I see her as a mom is if she gets into a relationship with someone who's already got a kid

✰ She'd be willing to babysit her friend's kids as Aunt Van and she loves hosting them at her house for sleepovers. Breakfast is always fun at the Palmer house, and it's guaranteed to be very sugary

✰ I mentioned it before, but I can imagine her hosting summer parties in her backyard and grilling lunch with a bunch of kids running around playing with water balloons and squirt guns

✰ she's definitely got a box or closet full of cool toys for when she has kids visit. She also loves teaching them about the movies she liked growing up and taking them out on all kinds of outings

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3794

did you know it's very easy for me to get overwhelmed?

if i have more than two things to do and haven't written them down, i will either forget them or have them swarming in my skull like the gray in zaun and kill me slowly. so i get overwhelmed.

i had like seven things to do today and i had a timeline to follow that i had to stick to.

so i did my best and went at it. and by "went at it," i mean i did none of it before leaving the house the first time and did all of it afterward.

i left around noon to bring something to my aunt and gramma before going to lunch. i brought over some money for my aunt and my cousin who was to visit today, along with a box of cookies for her and a gingerbread house kit for aunt wendy, boo, and gramma to make together.

i rang the doorbell and aunt wendy greeted me at the door, ushering me inside and a great big smile. it was nice to see her up and about again and looking more like herself. gramma asked me if i wanted a slice of pie. usually i'd say no, but (1) it's my gramma and my aunt and (2) it was pumpkin pie. i am physically incapable of saying no to pumpkin pie.

(gramma's pies are the best as long as she remembers the sugar.) (she did.)

yknow sometimes when you go to a place and order pumpkin pie that it's not always delicious out there crust isn't sprays good out there put itself isn't creamy enough or is too grainy? you don't get that at gramma's house. the pies she makes have perfect, flaky crust and creamy, delicious filling that have the perfect texture. the same is true for the pumpkin pie i had. just a perfect piece of pie that wasn't too soft and wasn't too hard and had the right amount of moisture in the crust and the right amount of spices in the pumpkin. it was literally the perfect piece of pie.

but savoring the pie as it deserves made me a little late. i didn't mind. the pie was worth it.

(i also slipped my aunt two andes mints from my wallet while at the table with gramma. gramma didn't notice at all. aunt wendy and i laughed.)

and just before i went to leave, i helped aunt wendy out to the curb to toss the bag of trash she was taking out. she told me something that the nurses at the hospital had told her: that when she was in the emergency room, the young lady who looked like her daughter who stayed beside her was kind and pleasant. she has no memory of it, that much is certain, but i think it's more important to be loving, especially when someone isn't going to remember it. i am grateful that's who i am as a person, the person i have spent so long becoming.

my aunt cried and told me how grateful she was that i was there and how happy she is to have me as a niece. i gave her another hug before i left. my aunt is so special to me and is so important to me. i love her so much.

after leaving gramma's house, i met kristen for lunch today at the diner we frequent, and it was so nice to just sit down and spend time with her. i know my mom and dad are sick, and i haven't wanted to be sick because of my plans for next week, so i wanted an injection of vitamin c to keep the sickness at bay. so what did i order with my lunch?

hot chocolate and a chocolate frappe.

not quite the OJ i intended to get, but eh. it was good.

but we sat and talked for a while, and it was really nice.

when we went to leave, she handed me all of the little tootsie rolls the diner gives you like olive garden gives you mints.

and when kristen left, i moved my car to accomplish one of my tasks in the daylight: breaking down the giant box from my office and taking everything out. what an annoying task. fairly terrible. but i did it. i broke down the cabinets and the box and pulled out all of the tiny tchotchkes from the bins and put it all in a bag. that was that. and i went home.

i put all of my laundry away, ran a load, realized i didn't have to have that laundry with me at joel's, packed a bunch of dresses from the cold weather pile, gathered all of the gifts i needed for joel's family christmas tomorrow, and then grabbed my stocking contents (candy) before leaving for joel's.

i stopped at target and picked up a ton of shit while i was there - candy, more candy, more candy, some red bulls for joel, some wrapping supplies, and a knitted stuffed kirby. it was in the wrong section. i saw him and knew i immediately needed to get him.

And i got myself a new silver purse because it's cute and fits my wallet nicely.

i stopped at pressed cafe for dinner, right next to target. i got a tuna sandwich because that's what i was feeling, and the bread was so good. it's a seven-grain bread and since it's a panini it gets pressed (hence the name of the cafe lol). i got chips with it and a fresh squeezed orange juice, finally fulfilling my desire for the day - i drank half of it and decided to save the rest for tomorrow. all of it was goddamn delicious.

i made it to joel's and went to wrap gifts. however, i had been talking to leo all day and was stupidly horny, we're not going to talk about my actions here even though leo loved it

but getting to talk to leo was nice. he'd had a long day and was fairly tired, so he went to sleep shortly after i talked to him. but i got the gifts wrapped and done and went to bed.

now i am in bed and joel is being a goober but i am so tired and i need sleep desperately.

[sequinsmile-x]

Backfire - Part 2

Another Thanksgiving in the Hotchner house.

Part 1 is here, but you don't have to have read it for this to make sense. This part is a little prequel based on a moment mentioned in part one <3

Also, side note, I have slept maybe 12 hours total since Saturday so this is very much sponsored by my insomnia...

-x-

This is a little Thanksgiving themed fic for you all (if you live somewhere like me that doesn't have Thanksgiving...just consider it some Thursday night fluff.)

This is also a birthday present for @ms-black-a. I hope you've had a lovely day, and please consider this your fluff warning 😘

-x-

Word: 2.5k

Warnings: pregnancy/brief hospitalisation (everyone is fine)

Read over on Ao3 or below the cut

Emily sighs as she sits back on the couch having successfully leant forward just enough to place her empty bowl on the coffee table in front of her. She breathes out steadily, adjusting herself so she was as comfortable as possible, her hand rubbing over her bump.

“I used to be able to run in high heels whilst shooting straight,” she grumbles, smiling as she feels a kick against her hand. She shifts again so her son was no longer compressing her lungs quite so much, making breathing a tiny bit easier. “Now I can’t even lean forward without feeling out of breath.”

“That’s because you’re 37 weeks pregnant, sweetheart,” Aaron says, appearing out of seemingly nowhere to lean over the back of the couch and drop a kiss on the top of her head. He rounds the couch, and grabs the bowl from the table, “Are you done?”

She looks up at him with eyes he just knows their son will inherit. Dark, beautiful, and able to convince him of just about anything.

“Just a little more?” Emily says, holding up her thumb and index finger close together. Aaron raises an eyebrow at her, smirking in a way she hated herself for finding attractive, and she rolls her eyes at him. “Come on, honey, it’s Thanksgiving and I am very pregnant. I should be able to eat as much mashed potato as I want.”

He looks at the empty bowl in his hand, before looking back at his wife. He holds back his comment about the fierce heartburn she’d had just a couple of days before after she’d eaten significantly less rich food than she had today. He hadn’t said anything when she’d gone for the second slice of pumpkin pie either and had quickly had to distract Jack from saying anything as the young boy furrowed his brows at his stepmother.

Aaron knows mentioning it wouldn’t work in his favour, and even if he did bring it up, he’d just end up bringing her the mashed potato anyway, except she would have cried first.

It was the aspect of pregnancy he knew she struggled with the most. The complete lack of control over her emotions her least favourite side effect. She often told him she’d rather have the morning sickness back, although he again held back any comments about how miserable she’d been in her first trimester.

“Ok fine,” he relents, and he can’t help but return her smile as she beams at him, “But I’m bringing you some green beans too.”

Emily scoffs as he walks away, and feels her son move again before turning her attention back to her stomach.

“Don’t worry sweet boy, I’ll eat around the green beans.”

___

“Are you sure you can’t come?”

Emily smiles at Jack and pulls him closer to her so he was pressed up against her side, “You’re going to have fun tonight with Aunt Jessie and your grandpa, sweetheart,” she says, kissing his temple, “And then you’ll come back in the morning and Dad will make us pancakes, ok?”

Jack sighs as if he’d just been told he had last-minute homework to do over the holidays, and it makes Emily’s chest ache. Ever since he’d overheard Roy talking negatively about Aaron he’d been a little hesitant to spend time with him. They never forced him to go, and always gave him the choice, and he always ended up having fun but this happened every time as if the young boy was worried it would happen again. Anxiety flowing through him in a way that made Emily wish Aaron would let her have five minutes alone with Roy. He’d made a very concerted effort to keep her away from Roy whilst she was pregnant, knowing her turbulent emotions would likely snap if the older man even looked at any of them the wrong way.

She looks at Jack and sees how he still looks unsure and she hooks a finger under his chin and smiles as their eyes meet.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Jack smiles sadly at her, “They’ll already be on their way.”

“I don’t care,” she says, shrugging slightly, “If you don’t want to go, you don’t go. And then you can hang out with me and your dad,” she smiles at him, her hand moving to tickle at his ribs, desperate to hear his laugh, to see his real smile, “Although, I think I’m going to convince your dad to let me eat more Thanksgiving Dinner in bed and then go to sleep.”

Jack giggles, shifting away from her so she can’t tickle him anymore, “The baby wants more mashed potato?” He asks incredulously, looking so much like Aaron that it makes her laugh.

“Yes, sweetie. He always wants more,” she replies, winking at him, proud of herself for cheering him up. It was during moments like this that she knew she could do it, all of her worries falling away as she told herself that she could be a mother.

Because she already was one.

The doorbell rings, followed by Aaron’s yell that he’ll get the door, and she smiles at Jack again.

“So, what do you want to do?”

Jack looks serious for a moment before nodding at her, “I’ll go! Aunt Jessie promised me ice cream, and Grandpa said he’s got a new game for me.”

Emily smiles at him and pulls him in for a hug, kissing the side of his head before he pulls away.

“Have fun sweetheart,” she says, smiling at him as he runs towards the door, “Love you.”

“Love you too, Emily.”

She settles back into the couch, grimacing as she feels a tightness in her belly, and her chest, a burning sensation rippling through her before it disappears.

She places her hand on her stomach, her fingers trailing over the tight skin, “What are you up to in there?”

___

The pain doesn’t go away.

She’s able to get to bed and fall asleep, early enough that she would have considered it embarrassing only a few months ago, but wakes up only an hour later, the pain is much worse. She’s alone in their room, and she can hear Aaron downstairs, the clattering of pans as he puts away the dishes from their low-key dinner echoing around the house.

Emily groans as she sits up, her hand pressed against her bump as she closes her eyes and breathes through the pain, sharp and right at the top of her belly.

“Ok, sweet boy,” she says, sounding calmer than she feels, groaning as she stands, “Whatever you’re up to…I think it’s best we go tell your dad.”

She’s sure it’s never taken her longer to walk down the hall, leaning against the wall. She makes it to the top of the stairs and realises she can’t make it down them alone, the pain almost constant, burning through her, and she sighs, her head leaning back against the wall as she takes in a deep breath.

“Aaron,” she calls out, not surprised as she hears a beat of silence, immediately followed by a loud clamour as he drops whatever he’d been holding.

“Sweetheart?” He replies, sounding slightly panicked as he comes into view, his concern clearly increasing as he catches sight of her hunched over at the top of the stairs, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” she says, her voice shaking slightly, watching as he takes the stairs two at a time, reaching her side before she can say anything else, “I had a bit of pain earlier, but I thought it was just…being pregnant and always uncomfortable,” she explains, relaxing slightly as he wraps an arm around her, gently guiding her down the stairs, “But I just woke up and it really hurts.”

“Is it coming and going, or constant?” He asks, already sounding calmer than he had done moments before. She knew he’d slipped into work mode, that he was putting his concerns on the back burner until he knew she was ok, and she was grateful for it. Her nerves were fried, fear that something was wrong with her baby and the pain enough to make tears press at the back of her eyes.

“Constant,” she replies as they get to the bottom of the stairs, taking a moment to stop moving, her hand in a tight fist in his t-shirt.

“Do you think you’re in labour?” He asks, his hand against her cheeks, then her forehead as if that would give him the answer. She bats his hand away, irritation with him the easier emotion to feel over her overwhelming fear.

“I don’t know,” she replies, her hand grasping tighter at his shirt, catching his skin in between her nails.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

She looks at him like he’s grown a second head, her mouth open in disbelief, “I mean I don’t know,” she says through gritted teeth, “Funnily enough I’ve never done this before.”

Aaron takes a moment to breathe, before nodding at his wife, pushing his own emotions down.

“Ok,” he says, leaning forward and kissing her forehead, “We’re going to get some shoes on you, and then I’m going to help you out to the car, and we’ll go to the hospital to get you checked out.” She nods, and the lack of an argument on any part of his plan, the hospital or the insinuation that she needed help to get into the car, is enough to let him how afraid she is. He takes a moment to cup her face, gaining her attention as he runs his thumb gently over her cheekbone, “Everything will be ok, sweetheart.”

She nods again, her jaw clenched tight as she forces herself to hold back the tears she knows he can see shining in her eyes.

Aaron smiles at her, an attempt to be reassuring that falls flat, and he leans forward to kiss her forehead.

“Come on, Em. The sooner we get there, the sooner they can tell us what’s going on.”

___

“How are you feeling?”

She smiles at her husband, raising an eyebrow as she turns her head to look at him, squeezing his hand in hers before she answers.

“The exact same way I did when you asked 5 minutes ago, love,” she replies, shifting on the bed she was sitting on, “Although it is nice to have my pants back on.”

She’d been examined by a nurse only minutes after they arrived, reassured that she wasn’t any more dilated than she had been at her check-up only a couple of days previously. They’d both smiled, and felt some fear dissipate when the nurse did an ultrasound, their son’s heartbeat as strong as ever, his little thumb in his mouth as he moved around inside of Emily. They were waiting for the doctor to come and see her, to figure out where the pain was coming from. She could still feel it, albeit a little less intense now than when she had woken up.

The curtain around her cubicle is pulled open, and a very tired-looking doctor comes into view, a smile on her face as she walks towards them.

“Sorry about the wait,” she says, picking up Emily’s file from the end of the bed, “You wouldn’t believe how many burns I’ve dressed today from people trying to deep fry a turkey,” she reads the paperwork and looks up at them both, “Everything looks good, the baby is in the right position, your waters are intact.”

“So I’m definitely not in labour?” Emily asks, squeezing Aaron’s hand a little tighter, grateful when he does the same back.

“No, Emily you aren’t,” the doctor replies, placing the files back down.

“Then where is the pain coming from?” Aaron asks, his concern for his wife and child written all over his face now the immediate danger was seemingly gone.

“I have my suspicions,” the doctor says, her hip against the end of Emily’s bed, “Did you happen to eat a lot of food today?” She asks, a wry smile on her face, “Turkey, potatoes, all the trimmings followed by a slice of pumpkin pie?”

“Two slices,” Aaron mutters, although not quietly enough if the way Emily’s nails dig into his hands the laugh from the doctor is anything to go by. “And a lot of mashed potato,” he adds, knowing he’s in trouble anyway.

Emily glares at her husband before looking back at the doctor, “Yes, I did…why?”

The doctor clears her throat, obviously amused by the couple in front of her, “You have very severe heartburn,” she says simply, “You woke up with it at its worst because you’d been laying down.”

Emily stares at her for a moment, before she feels her cheeks start to heat up, embarrassment replacing the fear she’d been feeling since she woke up in a panic.

“It’s…heartburn?” She asks her free hand pressing into the top of her belly before shifting to her chest. The doctor nods and Emily sighs. “Oh god, I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” the doctor assures her, “I did the exact same thing when I had my youngest 3 years ago, and I do this for a living,” she digs through her pocket to pull out her prescription pad, “I’ll write you up for some pregnancy friendly antacids,” she says as she does just that, tearing off the paper and handing it to Aaron, “and I’ll organise your discharge so you can go home.”

“Thank you so much,” Aaron says, smiling at the doctor, breathing out a sigh of relief that releases the final tension from his chest.

“No problem at all,” the doctor says, looking back at Emily, “And I know it’s tempting, but I’d suggest steering clear of a lot of really rich food in these last few weeks. Stick to fruit, veggies etc,” she winks at Emily, clearly seeing her embarrassment return, “Although I’m sure you can get your husband to stretch to the odd slice of pie.”

“Thank you so much,” Emily says genuinely, relieved that nothing more serious was wrong, and she keeps her smile fixed on her face until she is alone again with her husband, the curtain re-drawn around them. She looks at him and sees a familiar look in his eyes, one that looked a little too close to smugness for her liking. She points at him, her eyebrows raised in warning, “Don’t even think about saying it.”

Aaron clears his throat, almost choking on the laugh he swallows down, before he nods, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

“I wouldn’t dare, sweetheart.”

-x-

Tag list:

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[fruitcoops]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could do another fic involving jules and coops together? Just like sweet moments between the three? I loved the baby sitting series you did and could not stop thinking about it❤️❤️ Thank you!!

Yeah, of course! I love writing my boy at any opportunity. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but the relatives are my ocs!

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Sirius asked under his breath as Remus finally—finally—appeared from the mass of people.

“It’s fine,” Remus said around a forced smile to a middle-aged man across the yard.

Sirius hid his mouth by pretending to look down at the nearest casserole dish. He didn’t even know what was in it; nobody had bothered with labels, and everyone’s dishes were the same basic florals in different colors. “I love you, Re, and I totally get the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing, but this is a bit much if I’m being honest.”

“Honey.” Remus’ shoulder pressed against his own. “I’m sorry you’re not having a good time, but my Aunt Jen would skin me alive if I didn’t bring the man I’m marrying to the family reunion. We can leave tomorrow if you really hate—oh, no.”

“Remus!” a shrill, excited voice called. Sirius felt his fiancé straighten up as a tall, redheaded woman in star-painted jeans hurried across the grass with three other women in tow. She reached up and gave Remus’ cheeks a squish, then leaned in a planted a lipstick-stamped kiss to his forehead. “How are you, my duckling? Was your flight alright? Make sure you stay away from the salt or else your feet will swell.”

“Hi, Aunt Jen,” Remus said, grimacing a little at her rib-crushing hug. “I’m doing well, and our flight was fine. How are you?”

“Peachy keen,” she assured him. Dark brown eyes lasered in on Sirius half a second later and he felt his fight or flight kick in. “And who are you?”

“Aunt Jen, this is—”

“It was rhetorical, honey,” Jen interrupted with a pat to Remus’ arm as she stepped closer to Sirius and immediately hauled him in for a hug. She was as tall as Remus, but broader in the shoulders and hips; he had never felt so engulfed by someone. It was a strangely enjoyable feeling.

“Aren’t you a handsome one?” the shortest of the group cooed, as if she was talking to a particularly small dog in a purse. “Our Remus always knew how to pick them.”

Remus furrowed his brows. “Aunt Lisa, this is the first boyfriend I’ve—”

“But he’s not just a boyfriend!” Jen trilled, giving Sirius’ cheek a pat. “He’s a fiancé, something I learned from your mother. Not from your father—oh, I gave him a talking-to about that—and not from you, duck.”

Sirius bit back a laugh at the nickname and spared a glance to his left, where Remus had gone pink all the way to his ears. “Sorry.”

“Introduce us!” the shortest insisted, taking the other two by the hands as pulling them forward with an eager smile.

“Everyone, this is Sirius Black, my fiancé.” Remus gestured between them, and the four women beamed at him. “Sirius, this is Aunt Jen, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Allison, and Aunt Mary, my dad’s sisters.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Sirius said, holding a hand out.

“No need to be so formal,” the brunette grumbled with a teasing grin. “We have heard so much about you from Lyall. After those damned pictures—”

“Allison,” Jen hissed.

“—after the damned pictures,” Allison repeated with a pointed look. “I was about ready to drive up to Gryffindor myself and give that lousy son of a bitch a piece of my mind—”

“Allison!”

“—but Lyall talked me down and I have been waiting to meet you ever since.” She finished with a soft huff and gave his arm a quick squeeze. “Remus is a lucky boy to have you. It’s very exciting to see you in person at last.”

Sirius’ heart gave a happy little ka-thump and he smiled. “I’m glad to be here. Thank you for having me.”

“He is so polite,” Lisa said to Remus out of the corner of her mouth with a wink and a thumbs-up. “Good choice.”

“You know what I just realized? We haven’t said hello to Jules yet. We’ll see you in a few, yeah?” Without waiting for an official answer, Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius’ waist and practically carried him away from the table. Once they were out of earshot—and the aunts had busied themselves with one of the younger Lupins—Remus relaxed with a slow exhale. “I am…so sorry.”

“For what?”

“I had no idea they were going to corner you like that. I mean, I did, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be for another few hours. They tend to move in a pack at reunions, like sharks. Or wolves.”

“They’re really sweet.”

“They are,” Remus said grudgingly, though Sirius could read the affection dripping off him like his favorite book. “My dad’s the youngest of five, and I was the first nephew. You can imagine how that went.”

“Baby of the baby?”

“Exactly.”

“Can I ask one thing?” Remus nodded, visibly confused, and Sirius found he couldn’t keep his grin down any longer. “Duckling?”

“I hoped you didn’t hear that,” he groaned as they headed toward the kids’ play area beneath a large oak. “Long story short, it involved five-year-old me, a pond, and a sinus infection that made me sound like a duck when I sneezed.”

“Oh my god,” Sirius laughed, earning himself a light elbow to the ribs. “And the name stuck?”

“Considering she was the one that had to stay with me while my folks were working, she could call me whatever the hell she wanted. Please don’t ask her about it unless you want a thirty-minute TED talk about the ins and outs of my sinuses.”

“She’s a doctor?”

“No, she just overshares.”

“Sirius!”

Sirius looked up and saw a herd of small children racing toward them, led by his favorite person under the age of eighteen; Jules crashed into his legs and squeezed him tight around the waist. “Hey, I missed you!”

Jules propped his chin below Sirius’ sternum and stared up at him with the classic hazel-gold eyes that were far more common than Sirius believed before they arrived in the Lupins’ backyard. “I missed you, too! How’s the team? How’s Harry? Is he still super small or did he do that weird thing that babies do where their legs grow and the rest of them still looks normal? How was your flight? Did you have turbulence?”

Sirius thought for a moment. “Good, also good, growing normally, and yes.”

“Sweet! Come play cornhole with us!” Jules grabbed his hand and dragged him along the grass at the closest thing he could manage to a sprint with Sirius’ added weight—the pre-teen years had lent him gangly legs, though he didn’t seem quite sure how to use them yet. He looked more like a foal than a sixth-grader.

“What the hell is cornhole?” Sirius muttered as the flock of kids ran ahead to grab armfuls of beanbags.

Remus grinned. “Something I’m about to kick your ass at.”

------------------------------------

By the time the sun set, Sirius was exhausted. He had been introduced to dozens of people who looked just enough like Remus to be eerie, as well as plenty who seemed to have been acquired by one Lupin or another over the course of their life. Jules fluctuated between laminating himself to Sirius’ side and disappearing for an hour at a time, only to return more grass-stained and rumpled than ever as he begged Remus to swing him around by the ankles again. His ass had been thoroughly kicked at cornhole and freeze tag; it was a true miracle he hadn’t already passed out into a food coma. For all of his earlier griping, Sirius couldn’t think of a time in recent months when he had been more content.

“You’re a brave soul,” Remus remarked as they sat in the grass together and watched the fireflies wake. Though it was a warm night, it seemed the citronella candles littering the tables were doing their job of chasing off mosquitoes.

Sirius leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder. He smelled like grass and summertime and sunbaked warmth. “Am I?”

“Mhmm. I’m sure most people would have run screaming by now.”

“I like your family.”

A beat of silence passed; Remus rested his temple against the top of Sirius’ head. “I’m really glad to hear that. They’re weird and loud, but I love them.”

“And I love you.”

“Are you saying I’m weird and loud?”

“On occasion.”

“Asshole,” Remus laughed, giving him a nudge that hardly qualified as more than a gentle sway.

“Language, there are eight million kids around.”

“They’re busy.”

Sirius watched as small group run by in a wave of giggles, all clutching mason jars of fireflies with their names written on masking tape. “Thank you again for asking me to come with you.”

“Like I said, Aunt Jen would—”

“Remus.” He fell quiet. Sirius didn’t remember the last time he said Remus’ full name aloud. “Your family loves you so much. They’re everything I ever wanted growing up, and it means the world that you wanted to share them with me. All they want is to see you happy. It was amazing to finally meet them.”

“They really, really love you,” Remus said softly, his voice a little thick. “I had about twenty people tell me how wonderful you are. They all thanked me for bringing you, and not a single one mentioned the celebrity thing. Even my Uncle Jay didn’t say a word about hockey.”

“He was the one in the jersey?”

“I’ve known him for my entire life and I’ve never seen him without one.”

“Huh.” Sirius tucked his face closer to Remus’ neck and let the sound of the bullfrogs in a distant marsh lull him. “What time is it?”

“Almost eleven. The adults will be up for a while, but the kids will start crashing soon.”

Footsteps on the cool grass rustled to their right and Sirius looked up. “Who wants pie?” Aunt Allison singsonged, breaking their quiet bubble with paper plates and utensils. “This one is blackberry, but we have peach, pumpkin, and a few others on the table if you’re still hungry.”

“Just a small piece, please,” Sirius said.

Allison paused and cocked her head, then burst out laughing. “Oh, you’re funny!”

“I am?”

“Don’t fight it,” Remus whispered.

“You are a growing boy,” Allison said as she cut a thick slice and plonked it onto his plate. “And there’s no such thing as too much pie.”

I’m 26, Sirius wanted to say, though he held it in. “Just a small one for me, as well,” Remus said.

“Ha!” Allison snorted. “You’re already too skinny. Eat your pie or you’ll end up a string bean like your father. The NHL might have given you muscle, but it’s useless if you don’t enjoy some of your favorite aunt’s—”

“—woah, hey now—”

“—pie once in a while.” Allison kissed the tops of their heads once both plates were secure and bowing in the middle. “I’m going to make sure the kids aren’t poking around in the river again. Sleep well, you two.”

Sirius stared down at his plate as she wandered away. “I’m honestly going to die if I eat this.”

“Yeah, please don’t make yourself sick on pie. You really don’t have to eat all of that. The aunts and uncles are convinced that none of us are eating properly once we turn eighteen.”

“Really?”

“I wish I was kidding. You’re going to sleep so well tonight, though.”

As if on cue, Sirius stifled a yawn with the back of his hand and cuddled under Remus’ arm again. A familiar shadow bounded over not two seconds later and he barely held down a groan. “Hey, can I join you?”

Remus shrugged. “ ‘course.”

“Sweet.” Jules settled himself across their laps, staring at the sky with his head pillowed on Sirius’ thigh. “Did you have fun? I’m really glad you could come.”

“I had a great time,” Sirius answered honestly. Now please move on so I can take a nap.

“Mom and dad and me got here yesterday, and Aunt Jen kept checking the door for you guys even though she knew you weren’t coming until today. She was worried you wouldn’t like us, I think.”

“That was never an option, Jules.”

“Yeah, I know.” A devilish grin flickered over his face. “Remus is the weirdest of all of us, and if you want to marry him—”

“Get off,” Remus grumbled, shoving Jules’ legs onto the picnic blanket. “You know, you were a lot nicer before you turned eleven. Can I return you and get a new one? I have the receipt somewhere.”

“Nope.”

“That’s all a birth certificate is, right?” Sirius raised his eyebrows. “If you bring it back in good condition, I hear they give you a ten percent discount.”

Jules scowled. “That’s so not true.”

“How do you think I got Regulus?”

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Remus asked with a pointed look. “Run along, problem child.”

“Of the two of us, I’m the least problematic.” Despite his words, Jules clambered to his feet and dusted his hands off over Remus’ head. “I’m not the one that got a secret boyfriend and got engaged in a year. I’m so easy. Mom and dad want two of me.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Remus sighed as he stretched out on the blanket. “They had a second kid because they wanted two of me.”

“You’re adopted.”

Remus cracked one eye open in disbelief. “No, I’m not.”

“How do you know?”

“Because—y’know what, go to bed. Or go find the stampede, I think they’re by the river.”

Sirius whistled lowly as Jules scampered off again. “That was impressive. Isn’t your aunt over there?”

“Yep.”

Realization clicked into place. “She’s going to make him go to bed.”

“Yep.”

“You’re brilliant.”

Remus smiled without opening his eyes, and tugged Sirius down by the sleeve to lay next to him. “You’re just figuring that out now?”

The stars were brighter than anywhere Sirius had ever seen; for a moment, he was struck speechless by the endless rivers of sparkling white overhead. He stared until his eyes burned from dryness, then put his head on Remus’ chest and kept on looking. There was no way he could tear his gaze from it. A few shooting stars streaked across the clear sky and he felt his heart skip a beat in pure amazement when he realized there was nothing else he would wish for in that moment. He could listen to Remus’ heartbeat and the sound of his new family talking against a backdrop of the night, relishing in a full belly and cool wind, and simply stay there for as long as he liked.

[sweatersstyles]

here with you

I’ve had this lil blurb saved that I wrote for thanksgiving but ended up deleting. We normally do dinner with my Nanna on Christmas Eve and I was a bit sad about not being able to do that this year earlier so I decided to rework this to be more holiday themed! I consider this a part of my You Bring Me Home / Where We Belong dream world which were pretty personal to me but I hope you still enjoy. :) // It’s only Harry’s second visit to the small house on the hill, but he’s welcomed just as warmly as he was the first time, bending to accept the kiss to his cheek your Nanna offers as he helps to carry food into the house.

The round wooden kitchen table is filled with food and he waits patiently while your Aunt Donna shuffles things around to free up some space for the casserole he’s holding. When the foil is lifted and everyone comments about how yummy it looks, Harry’s pointing to you, beaming with pride when he tells the room you made it but he was “honored to help”.

The group around the table is a little smaller this year, but not short on love and appreciation for one another. Full plates and happy hearts; an abundance of thankfulness for who could be there to adorn each seat. You can’t help but think of your aunt, how much dimmer the celebration is without her, and your heart aches at the fact that you’ll never see that big smile on her face or hear her laughter ring through the tiny living room of your Nanna’s house. Harry senses the small change in your mood, squeezing your hand once, a reminder that he knows how hard this is for you, of how proud he is that you’re able to smile through the pain.

When everyone’s had their fill and the food is put away, Harry finds a place on the green plaid couch, leaving the other two seats free. It doesn’t take long for you to join him, a plate of dessert balanced on your lap that the two of you share. He doesn’t even care that you hog most of the cheesecake, shaking his head when you offer him a bite, knowing it’s one of your favorites. He’s more content to watch you enjoy the slice, but shoots you a look when you pull the plate away, playfully threatening to finish the last bite of pumpkin pie too.

The warmth of his body draws you to press closer to him than you already were, your head first falling to rest on his shoulder, then into his lap as you’re lulled further to sleep. He doesn’t stop his conversation with your mother, just moves his hands to make space for you to get comfortable. Your mother teasingly scolds you for taking up the last of the space on the couch, but you’re already too far gone to care, deep sigh of contentment when Harry works his fingers once through your hair before settling a hand on the back of your head.

You’re half asleep when you just make out your Nanna’s half-threat, trying to make her voice sound stern but you had already assured him it was harmless, “I hope you’re taking care of our baby girl while she’s away from us.”

“Yes, ma’am, m’tryin’ to. Most days it’s the other way ‘round though. Who does she get her stubbornness from?” If you were awake, you would’ve seen the grin spread across his face at the reaction of your family, none of them wanting to take credit for that particular flaw of yours.

It’s Harry’s laughter that wakes you, big and booming at a joke your uncle told, the vibrations shaking you. You blink your eyes open, grumpy furrow of your brow at being roused so suddenly. When he notices you awake, he turns his full attention towards you again, thumb soothing the wrinkle between your eyebrows.

“Hi peach, did y’have a nice nap?”

You nod your head yes, pushing yourself back in an upright position next to him, tucking your head back into the crook of his neck. His hand works behind your back, fingers tapping along your side as one of your family members calls his attention back to the conversation they were having previously. He stills his fingers, rings pressing slightly into your skin through the fabric of your thin sweater.

When you’re fully awake again, you poke his stomach, causing his head to turn back to you.

“Merry Christmas, Harry. Thank you for coming with me today.” You press your mouth closer to his, silently asking for a kiss, which he indulges. It’s quick but firm, tender and sweet enough to send tingles down your spine.

“Merry Christmas to you too, baby, wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here with you.”

[rosiegeee]

Best MLP Couples

This is heavily biased and will only include canon couples from the tv show, not the comics or Equestria Girls, or parents of main characters, they will get there own list. Also almost none of these couples are bad despite what I rank them and truthfully half of these tied for first.

#10:  Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis

I see nothing truly wrong with these two ponies, the reason they are so low is Fancy Pants doesn’t really acknowledge his special somepony/wife. Making me feel that this relationship might not be 100% the heathiest, however they have such a limited appearance that I could be wrong and they might be in a mutually loving relationship.

#9:  Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich

I think they’re fine, and there child Li'l Cheese is adorable, however before the final I never got romantic vibes off of these two, just friendship, but they seem happily married now so they’re ok in my books.

#8:  Clear Sky and Quibble Pants

They are so cute, and I loved this episode for taking on the hard topic of divorce (or maybe parental death in which Applejack’s parents were the first, but I personally think it was divorce.), your parent finding someone new, and that someone new trying to bond with the kid. We don’t see to much of these two  as a couple this episode as its more about the future step daughter and her relationship with Quibble Pants, but the part we do see they so clearly care about each other and make each other happy and he thinks she’s the best mare in the world(and he’s met Daring Do.) 

#7:  Maud Pie and Mudbriar

Just like Pinkie, I didn’t like Mudbriar at first, I didn’t think Maud needed a boyfriend, but he grew on me and he clearly loves Maud and they make each other whole in a way I didn’t know was needed. (That and the innuendos in later episodes, that was unexpected and it made me laugh.)

#6:  Aunt Holiday and Auntie Lofty

When I first heard in the non-canon novel that Scootaloo stays with her aunts, and that the aunts may not be sisters I was over joyed, but I never thought it would go any further, than they appeared in the comics, and than in an episode dedicated to finally showing viewers Scootaloo’s living situation we met the two parental couples in her live, her horrible parents and her amazing gay aunts. These two don’t get much screen time, but there love is seem when they joke with each other and at the end when they are supporting each other and are hoof-in-hoof, I love them and my Gay heart wants to put them on top but there are more who deserve that spot.

#5:  Mr. Carrot Cake and Mrs. Chiffon Cake

We don’t see much of these two doing romantic things, but that’s because they are almost always seen lovingly raising there geneticly impossible kids together. They are always seen by the others side and they always seem to know what the other is thinking. The reason they aren’t on the parents list is because Pumpkin and Pound aren’t main character, in fact they have no lines.

#4:  Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops (BonBon)

MY BISEXUAL HEART!!! When they were given a truly proper introduction in Slice of Life I found that best friend didn’t fit what they were saying, they acted as a married couple, and as the show continued that was what they would become. They went from often being seen together, to the slice of life, to always being seen each other, to there dream selves being physically connected, to unmistakably being on several dates, to there engagement, to the little wedding photo, and than in the final being an old lesbian couple. They are the second of two confirmed LGBT couples on the main show and I wish they could be higher.

#3:  Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda

You couldn’t watch A Friend in Deed or Slice of Life without routing for these two loving Donkeys in the end. HE SPENT HALF HIS LIFE TRAVELING THE WORLD LOOKING FOR HER AND SHE WAS STILL SINGLE PRACTICALLY WAITING FOR HIM AND SLICE OF LIFE IS JUST SO GOOD!!!!!!

#2:  Big McIntosh and Sugar Belle

I used to ship Big Mac with Cheerilee, so when Sugar Belle turned into a love interest for Mac I was upset, but as there relationship continued, and Mac started opening up in ways only Drag had done before, I realized how sweet these two are together and there love is apparent from the very beginning, there future son Big Sugar is almost as cute as Li’l Cheese. There is only one other couple that outshines these two and if you haven’t guessed yet you haven’t watched My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

#1:  Princess Cadance and Shining Armor

There love has saved the world at least three times, once from the Changlings, a second time when Cadance collapsed it was Shining Armor’s love that gave her the strength to redo her shield spell, giving Twilight more time(He than later flung her at the crystal heart but that’s less love and more teamwork.) And than there love made Fluffy Heart and she also saved the Crystal Empire. There love for each other shone through even when they weren’t in scenes together and my favourite moment of them is when they supported each other as Cadance tried to keep the Crystal Empire safe from Sombra.

[janeyseymour]

So Thankful

For my dear friend Ay: I don’t think I followed the prompt all that well and I definitely had ideas that didn’t make it into it because I knew what I wanted to write, but then I forgot them... so this is what we’re working with. I hope you enjoy dear friend!

Thanksgiving was always chaotic in the house of the queens. The first year that they were back was quite confusing to all of them.

“Hey Lina?” Jane beckoned the first queen over to where she was standing at the calendar.

“What’s up Jane?”

“Do you know what Thanksgiving is?” She pointed at the word written across that day.

“Oh! I do!” Anne bounced in from the living room. “So, it started when America became colonized in the 1600s by Britain. The pilgrims had a feast. Well, a while later, Lincoln, America’s 16th president, declared it a day. In 1789, the congress passed it as a national holiday that is celebrated every November on the fourth Thursday. It’s a day where families get together and eat. They typically go around the table before their meals and ask what everyone is thankful for. To me, it’s kind of silly that that’s what the holiday has come down to considering the rich history of it, but-”

“We’re celebrating it. We all have so much to be thankful for, and we need to recognize it.”

“Cool. I’ll tell the others.” Anne ran upstairs, her small footsteps sounding like a herd of elephants as she called for the others.

“Wait! Anne!” Jane called. “What are we supposed to eat?”

“Turkey! Stuffing! Cornbread! Corn! Vegetables! Mashed potatoes! Mac n Cheese! But not the boxed kind- homemade. You know, that kind of stuff. And dessert! Pies! Pumpkin pie, apple pie, pecan pie! All the dessert!”

Catherine glanced at Jane in confusion.

“I guess when she says she reads, she’s really not lying,” Jane offered with a shrug of her shoulders.

-

And so, here the queens were, a few years later. Not only had they kept up on their tradition of having a Thanksgiving feast, but this year, they had new additions to the meal. 

“So, if you’d like, you’re more than welcome to come over for Thanksgiving. I know Becky, Dawn and Ogie are in town too, and they’re more than welcome to join! The more the merrier!” Jane smiled into the phone. 

“Oh girl, that’d be great. I’ll bring the pies for dessert. What time do you guys normally start eating?”

“We try to have everything set on the table by 3, but you know how that can be. So, it’s usually all done around 5. But you guys are more than welcome to come over at any time that day!”

“Great! And Lu is always more than welcome to come hang out while we do all this stuff if you want her out of your hair.”

“I’m sure she’ll be delighted to hear that,” Jenna couldn’t help but stifle a laugh.

-

Thanksgiving day had come, and the queens house was nothing if not chaotic.

“Anne Boleyn, out of my kitchen!” Jane had screeched for the thousandth time that day. All she was trying to do at this point was make the stuffing with her youngest cousin.

“Janey, I’m just trying to-”

“I know you’re trying to help, and I really appreciate it, but you can’t keep opening and closing the oven door or the turkey is never going to be done! Why don’t you go help Anna?” Anne nodded and bounced down to the basement where they had set up a make-shift kitchen for the fourth queen.

“Hey Jane?” Kat said slowly.

“What?” the blonde hissed, a bit more bark in her voice than she would have liked.

“I cut myself.” The pink haired queen displayed her finger.

“Go clean yourself up. I’m pretty sure Aragon is done with the vegetables for now, so I’ll see if she can help with the stuffing.” Jane put her head in her hands. Of course this would happen. It wasn’t a holiday if Kat didn’t accidentally cut her finger trying to slice bread. 

The fifth queen nodded and walked upstairs, only to have her body in the kitchen replaced with the golden queen’s.

“How ever did I expect this to happen?” Catherine grinned, rubbing a hand on Jane’s shoulder on her way to Kat’s station. She grabbed a new knife and continued on with the bread cutting. “Relax Jane. It’s all going to be okay. And think of it this way: Jenna’s in charge of dessert this year, so that’s one less thing you have to worry about.”

“You’re right, but with the-” Jane counted in her head. “-six extra mouths to feed, we have to really up our game and make double what we usually make. And Jenna’s pregnant.”

“Hey, you know Dawn and Lu eat like birds. Together, they make up one of our mouths.” The doorbell rang. “Speaking of, there’s Lu now.” The two motherly queens walked to the door, and peaked their heads out.

“What’s the password?” Jane allowed herself to be silly for a moment.

“Aunt Janey! And Lina!” Lulu bounced from her spot on her mother’s hip. She squirmed to be let down, eliciting a giggle from the two women in the house.

“She’s been up and begging to come over since five this morning.”

“I was up anyway. Tried to start on the turkey before Hurricane Anne was awake, but she came bouncing down five minutes later. We would’ve let her come.”

“See Mama? I told you Aunt Janey would’ve been up!” 

“Come on in little Lu! We’ve got your apron all ready for you, and I’m sure Annie will be so excited to hear that you’re finally here! She’s been asking about you all morning.” What Jane had said wasn’t far from the truth. Questions about when their little friend would join them began at approximately eight in the morning.

“Be good for your girls!” the baker called out to her daughter who was already bouncing down the queens’ steps to the basement.

“She always is. How are the pies coming along?” Catherine made conversation with the woman.

“Dawn, Becky, and I made 'em up last night. Told the boys they were in charge of putting them in the oven, so they should be almost done!”

“Great. Did you want to come in and have a glass of wine or something?”

“I’d love to, but I promised the idiots at home I’d only be a few minutes. And, I don't entirely trust Ogie and Jim not to burn down my kitchen. I know Becky and Dawn-” Jenna laughed as she remembered the time Becky almost set their diner on fire. “-well, Dawn, could handle it, but not without having a full blown panic attack.”

“I’ve got you. Sounds like you have a couple hurricanes at your house right now.”

“That I do. But now, you’ve got... all of your hurricanes and my little hurricane.”

“She’s never a problem Jenna. I promise you, we all love having her around.”

“If she gets to be too much, let me know and I’ll swing by and grab her until dinner.”

“Appreciate it, but you won’t need to. See you at four?”

“See you at four,” the baker affirmed.

-

“Lulu Pomatter!” the blonde called to the basement, already a bit tense after the antics that morning.

“What Aunt Janey? I’m trying to help Anna decide how much cheese to put on the mac n’ cheese! And the potatoes!”

“Hun, you just need your apron.”

“Oh!” Lulu ran up the steps and allowed Jane to help her into the clothing.

“Your mama wouldn't be too happy if I returned you with food all over you knowing you have a perfectly good apron here, now would she?” the third queen muttered as she tied the piece of cloth around the little girl.

“Thank you!” the girl with pigtails squeezed her surrogate aunt and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek before running back downstairs to help Anna and-

“Annie! Stop eating the macaroni!”

“Oh good god,” Jane muttered to herself as she and the first queen continued to cut bread.

-

“Is the turkey almost done?” Anne made her way up the steps with Lulu on her hip.

“No, it’s not. And if you don't want Jane yelling at you again, I suggest you get yourself out of the kitchen,” Aragon responded, not looking up from the book she was reading.

“But I just want to see if-” the green queen cracked the oven door open slightly.

“Anne Boleyn! Close that oven door right now!” Jane’s voice could be heard from the bathroom.

“How did she know?” Lulu whispered, confused. The silver queen wasn’t in the kitchen.

“I swear, she’s got a sixth sense. Maybe she should’ve gone down in history as a witch, not me.” Aragon let out a snort- she wasn’t expecting that to come out of her successor’s mouth.

-

“Aunt Janey?” Lulu watched as the third queen flitted around the kitchen, setting out various dishes on the table.

“What’s up love?” Jane slowed down just a bit to get a look at the sweet girl in front of her. Her heart pained a little, feeling the absence of her son who she so dearly wished was celebrating this holiday with them.

“Could I help set the table?”

“Of course honey! You know where all of the silverware is.” Jane nodded in the direction of the drawer anyway.

-

“Aunt Janey?”

“Yes dear?” Jane didn't turn around from the gravy she was whisking, but she made sure to let the girl know she was listening. 

“Where’s Cathy?”

“Oh, I think she’s up in her room writing some. Do you want to go see her?”

“Can I?”

“I’m sure she would love the company. And maybe, you can pry her away from her work for a little bit.”

“Do you think she might want to read my book with me? I got it at the library! It’s about Thanksgiving!”

“Why don’t we go ask her?” Jane motioned for the girl to follow her up the steps and knocked on the writer’s door.

“Yeah?” Cathy called.

“You’ve got a little munchkin wanting to visit. Think you could tear yourself away from that screen for a-”

“Cath! It’s me! It’s Lulu! Can I come in?”

The door swung open almost instantly. “If I had known you were here, I would’ve come down!” The little girl made grabbing hands towards the queen dressed in blue. 

-

“Hey Lu? Cath?” Jane was standing at the door she had been in front of an hour before. “Dinner’s almost ready. Do you guys want to-”

“Aunt Janey! Look!” The door whizzed open, revealing Lulu, Cathy, Anne, Anna, and Kat all in paper hats covered in glitter, no doubt supplied by the fifth queen. 

“We made you, Lina, Mama, Daddy, Dawn, Becky, and Ogie hats too! And Cathy wrote a play for us to all put on after dinner!”

-

“Hi!” Lulu opened the door for her family, sparkling hat on top of her head.

“Hey guys,” Jane nodded as she opened the door wider for the group to come in, a paper hat with silver sparkles covering much of her blonde hair. 

“Holy moly!” Anne came sprinting over, seeing the three pies that Jenna was balancing along with the two pies in Jim’s hand and one that Dawn was holding. “How many pies did you make?”

“A shit ton,” Becky laughed.

“So you’re Becky?” Anne grinned, knowing that the bold woman was indeed Becky. The queens had heard enough stories to know which woman was which. 

“You’re damn right I’m Becky. And Dawn here, she’s the quietest of us all. Get a couple drinks in ‘er though and-”

“Becky!” Dawn gasped.

“Alright girls, that’s enough for now,” Jenna ordered in her “mom tone”, as the two waitresses liked to call it.

“Lu, are you forgetting to give them their hats?” Catalina, the woman with such regality, had a paper hat decorated with gold sparkles.

“Oh yeah! So, while Aunt Janey and Lina were finishing up with dinner, me and the rest of my girls-”

“The girls and me,” Jim corrected gently.

“-Gosh Daddy. The rest of my girls and me,” she moaned unceremoniously. “Made hats for everyone! Like the pilgrims! And Kat had sparkles and glitter, so we decorated them! Annie told me they all had colors assigned to them for the show they were in, so they kept their colors! Lina is gold, Annie is green, Aunt Janey is silver, Anna is red, Kat is pink of course, and Cathy is dark blue! I made you three-” she handed the women their hats. “-light blue because of the uniforms at my diner. Daddy is black glitter, and Ogie too.” She handed the men their hats.

-

“Alright guys, what are we all thankful for?” Jane looked at the group expectantly.

“Isn’t it right that you start Janey?” Anne looked at her.

“I guess. Okay, well I’m thankful for the roof over our heads, and the food that is about to

be in my stomach. I’m thankful that Anne hasn’t burned the house down yet. And, I’m thankful for all of you. You're the best family that I’ve got. Thank you for helping get this dinner together, and for overall just always being there for me when I need it. Okay, who’s next?”

-

“Good god, I’m so full,” Anne remarked as she unbuttoned her pants.

“Must you do that every year?” Catherine didn’t even try to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

“I hope you’re not too full, because I brought six pies.”

“Which ones?” Anne’s eyes lit up.

-

“Good god, I’m so full,” Anne yawned. “I don't know how you do it Jenna, but all of those pies were amazing.” The second queen had, in fact, helped herself to a slice of each and every pie the baker had brought.

-

Jane and Jenna had the littlest girl laying across their laps. Jim was happy to sit on the couch arm, an arm wrapped around his wife. Anne was curled into Jane’s other side, happy to be small enough to fit on the couch next to Katherine. Aragon was sitting in her recliner, Cathy perched on one couch arm, and Anna was more than happy to lay on the floor, blanket draped over her. Ogie and Dawn found their positions sitting in front of the couch, Becky above them. The hats had been carefully laid down on the kitchen table to be put away for next year.

They had cleaned up and were now watching a movie the little girl requested, but as she fell asleep, the adults began to chat and reminisce.

“I can’t believe we’re lucky enough to spend this holiday all together,” Jenna smiled. “For a long time, Thanksgiving was just Becky, Dawn, and me. But this- this is really great.”

“It’s only gotten better because you decided to join in on the chaos this year.” Jane nudged the baker. “Thank you again for the pies by the way. I’m sure they’ll be gone before the weekend because of someone.” She cast a knowing glance at the green queen curled up into her side.

“So, here’s a weird question for you,” Dawn giggle, a few glasses of wine in. “What’s the best thing that you didn’t have in the 1500s?”

“Comfortable chairs,” Catalina smiled. How she hated sitting in that uncomfortable throne for the twenty-four years she was queen.

“Shoes with wheels in them,” Anne laughed, knowing the third queen would groan.

“Comfortable clothing. I hated those stupid ass corsets we had to wear. I couldn’t work out in them!” Cleves threw in.

“Phones. I love having all of the music in the world in my hand,” Kat added without looking up from her phone.

“Computers. It was so hard physically writing everything down then. Now, if I make a mistake, I can just press the backspace.”

“Jane? You’re awful quiet.” The room’s attention turned towards the blonde, who looked up with tears in her eyes.

“The best thing that I didn’t have in the 1500s was you guys. I’m so thankful for each and every one of you.”

[stahlop]

Not all Treasure is Silver and Gold (sometimes it’s chocolate)

Summary: Killian takes his children on a trick or treat treasure hunt to learn about the town’s history and reflects on his own in the process.

Here is my CS Role Reversal collaboration. Thank you @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713​ for the artwork! It is amazing and inspired the fluffiest story I think you’ll ever read.

A big shout out to @profdanglaisstuff​ for being my beta.

This is probably the fluffiest, sweetest thing I've ever written in my life. Enjoy!

Rated G

A03 link

They turned on to Main Street, the witch and two pirates, carrying with them some of the loot they had already discovered. The witch, though small, was the de facto leader of the group, instructing the small band of characters where to go with the map in her hand.

“The last clue said that we would find the fruit of the Evil Queen where the werewolves lie. That’s at Granny’s and we’re looking for apples,” the witch said matter of factly, as if that were the most straightforward answer. The smaller of the two pirates looked a little wary.

“You don’t agree with the lass?” the larger of the pirates asked. “Do you have a different idea?” He prodded the other pirate. The small pirate looked pensive, as if he had a question he wanted to ask but wasn’t sure how to with his limited vocabulary. The witch put her hands on her hips in a perfect imitation of her mother, not liking that they had to wait when she clearly knew she was correct.

“Daddy?” The small pirate finally asked in a small voice, his green eyes opened unnaturally wide. “The apples won’t put us to sleep will they?” Killian Jones gulped. Oops.

“Of course not, DL. It’s just a game!” Hope Jones, 7-years-old and knower of everything there was to know (obviously), huffed at her little brother. Killian tried not to laugh for DL’s sake. Dylan Liam Jones was only three and couldn’t always distinguish between fiction and reality, or in this case, the past and the present.

Killian got down on one knee to talk with his son, not a small feat as he was in his full pirate regalia, something he only brought out for Halloween nowadays. And they were in the middle of Main Street with swarms of other trick or treaters around them. “You know I would never do anything to hurt you, right DL? The clues are both to help you understand our history and to get candies, sweets, and treasure!” He said reassuringly. The boy nodded, his pirate hat a little too big for his head and falling forward on each nod. Snow had tried to make the costume as close to Killian’s pirate ensemble as she could, but the hat they’d had to buy from a costume shop in town (even after all these years, Emma didn’t quite trust Jefferson to help her out, even though he’d apologized profusely to her once the curse had been lifted and he was reunited with his daughter). Even though Killian didn’t wear a pirate hat, DL had seen Peter Pan quite a few times and wanted a hat similar to that of Captain Hook. Killian had been horrified.

“Can we go now?” Hope said in an annoyed tone. She was impatient when it came to DL and also had the attitude of a teenager, or so Emma had told Killian.

“Are we ready, lad?” Killian asked DL. The little boy nodded. Killian took his hand.

“Finally!” Hope exclaimed starting to run ahead.

“Hope Alice Jones,” Killian said firmly. Hope stopped in her tracks. She knew she wasn’t supposed to run ahead. She turned around and headed back to her father and brother. “Good lass. Now, we have a whole row of houses to procure candy from before we get to Granny’s. Are we ready?” Killian asked.

“We’re ready!” the Jones children shouted.

“Onward then!”

Granny’s boasted all sorts of candied apples. Regular candied, caramel, some with nuts and some with sprinkles, whatever the kind the children were in heaven. Granny was nice enough to cut them into slices to make them easier for the children to eat.

“Might I bother you for a bit of pumpkin pie?” Killian asked Granny as she brought the sugary treats to their booth. Granny nodded and gave him a smile. She still had a soft spot for the pirate and denied him nothing. Even when there were children swarming all around.

The apples came with their next clue. Killian had to hand it to the Storybrooke Town Council, they knew how to get the town involved. The Storybrooke Historical Scavenger/Treasure Hunt had become a town staple over the past five years. It was a fun, yet educational, way to introduce the children to the town’s fairytale past while getting treats and sweets at the same time.

Killian took the card they had been given and read the next clue. “Fill me up with candy and I might explode when you say boo! But don’t feed any chocolate to the cats and dogs that might be around you.” Killian paused and looked at the kids. They looked at him expectantly, caramel and sprinkles clinging to their faces. “Any ideas?” He asked them.

DL scrunched his face up and thought over the clue. “Fill me up with candy and...what was the next part daddy?” he asked. Hope huffed again, annoyed that her little brother couldn’t remember something so simple.

“I might explode when you say boo. It’s a ghost pinata!” She exclaimed. “Like the unicorn one I had at my last birthday party. Remember, we hit it with a stick until candy came out?” Her tone of voice had changed midway through to excited. “But where is the pinata, daddy?” Hope asked.

Killian reread the last part of the clue again. “But don’t feed any chocolate to the cats and dogs that might be around you. Know of any place that might have cats and dogs, little loves?” Hope and DL put their heads together and discussed where they thought it might be.

“The Storybrooke Animal Shelter!” they proclaimed.

After cleaning up their sticky hands and faces, they trick or treated their way over to the animal shelter. Sure enough there were several ghost pinatas waiting for children to come and take a whack at them. The shelter was now owned by Ruby and her girlfriend, Dorothy, who were also running the pinata stations and telling their stories. Ruby talking about how she discovered she was a werewolf and Dorothy telling about her adventures in Oz, both dressed up in Red Riding Hood and Dorothy costumes, respectively. The two also had cats and dogs up for adoption.

Hope and DL delighted in hitting the ghost pinata along with several other children until it finally broke. They gathered up many different types of candy into their pumpkin baskets.

“Can we get a cat? Please, please, please?” both kids whined. Killian and Emma had discussed it this year. Hope had been asking for a cat for the past few years, and of course, since big sis wanted a cat, DL did too.

“I think your mum and I have decided we can get one this year. Why don’t you two pick one out and we’ll pick it up in a few days after it’s had all its shots and everything,” he said, smiling. Killian had never seen bigger grins on his kids’ faces.

The children came out a little while later having picked out the most ‘perfect cat’ in the entire world. Ruby told him to come by the next day to fill out the paperwork and once the cat was fixed, she would be all theirs.

“There is one final clue,” Dorothy said, handing Killian a card. They all thanked Ruby and Dorothy and walked over to a nearby bench to look at the clue.

“When the Savior came and broke the curse, time started to move and things got worse.

But the curse was broken with True Love’s Kiss, come read about these tales if there were any you missed.” Killian paused for effect looking at his two children to see if they understood the clue. He could see Hope recognized where they needed to go in an instant, but DL wasn’t quite sure.

“Good Witch Hope, do you know where we need to go?” Killian asked, so the pressure would be off DL.

Hope gave a sly smile that matched her father’s. She might be the spitting image of her mother, but she had his eyes and his smile. “It’s the library!” she announced.

DL’s eyes lit up wide. “We go to see Auntie Belle?” he asked hopefully. For only being three, DL already had his first crush on Belle the librarian.

“Yes, DL, we go see Auntie Belle. Lead us onward fair witch!” Killian cried.

The trio passed by a few shops that had workers passing candy out front that Hope and DL got to add to their loot. The kids were getting excited the closer they got to the library, DL going on and on about Auntie Belle and Hope running through what the final prize or candy would be once they reached their intended destination.

“I just hope it’s actual candy and not a book. Not that I don’t love reading, Father, but books just aren’t appropriate for Halloween,” Hope said knowingly. She had also inherited his language skills and had recently taken to calling him Father because it sounded more ‘grown up’.

“I’m sure Aunt Belle will have sweets for all of you,” Killian said rolling his eyes and smiling at his precocious daughter.

Belle had completely outdone herself when it came to the library and clocktower. For a place that had once held torturous memories for Killian (fighting an undead Maleficent in the caves, Rumplestiltskin literally holding his heart and almost killing him, leaving Emma in the elevator in the Underbrooke version), it was now a magical place. Happy Halloween banners were posted at the front entrance and on several walls inside, plastic skeletons were hanging everywhere, fall leaf garlands decorated every shelved surface available, and scarecrows that jumped out at you guarded each doorway. In the center of the library was a large craft table that had hundreds of mini pumpkins on it. Next to them were small cups of paint for the children to paint them. Another table in the room next door had a pumpkin carving station for the adults. Belle was in the reading nook where she usually did storytime for the town’s children, wearing a gold dress, reminiscent of this world’s version of Belle (although she told Killian once that she had a dress very similar to that back in the Enchanted Forest, so maybe Disney wasn’t completely off on all their stories), and telling her own tale of Beauty and the Beast.

Belle and Rumplestiltskin’s son, Gideon, and Snow and David’s son, Neal, were running the children’s mini pumpkin area. Killian thought that was pretty much the blind leading the blind (as they were 10 and 13 respectively), but the other kids seemed to be having a good time. A sign at the circulation desk let them know that to get their final treat for the night they needed to paint a pumpkin and have it examined by the official Pumpkin Inspectors, which also seemed to be Gideon and Neal.

“Ready to paint some pumpkins?” Killian said to both his children. Hope didn’t even answer, just ran off to the station delighted at getting to paint. DL nodded his head and took Killian’s hook (something he liked to do when he wanted to feel calm) and led him over to the station. As much as Killian would like to do the pumpkin carving (he’d won that contest the past two years in a row), he knew DL would get overwhelmed easily with too many paint options. Emma often worried that he was overly sensitive about things, but Killian was sure he’d eventually grow out of it. The town did tend to go overboard with everything and it was a lot to handle for most adults, let alone a 3-year-old.

Hope had already grabbed an apron so she wouldn’t stain her costume and started painting her pumpkin an array of colors. Killian had DL pick out three colors (one for each year he was) that he would use and got him into an apron as well.

When they all finished (Hope having painted a unicorn with the stem as a horn, and DL having made a bunch of purple, green, and black splotches all over his pumpkin), Gideon and Neal, the Pumpkin Inspectors, came over and declared them wonderful pumpkins. All pumpkins would be displayed throughout the library for the rest of fall. They headed over to Belle to hear her story and get their final prize.

Killian had to admit, listening to Belle’s retelling of her love story with Rumplestiltskin made it sound like an epic adventure and not the abusive tale that it had been throughout much of their time in Storybrooke. Even 10 years later, Rumplestiltskin and Killian avoided each other whenever possible, even if Rumplestiltskin was considered a more upstanding member of the town now.

“And now,” Belle drawled with a big smile on her face,” your final treat of the night!” The children started to clap and cheer. She then put her finger to her lips and the children immediately went quiet. Everyone knew to listen to Librarian Belle. “There are actually two treats tonight.” The children waited with bated breath. “You will get to pick out your own Halloween or fall themed book,” she paused before the big reveal, Killian already noticing the look of disappointment on Hope’s face, “And you will also get a scoop of loot from our treasure chest!” Belle moved the pillow off the large box she’d been sitting on to reveal a very large pirate’s chest. She opened it to show it filled with (chocolate) gold coins and candy jewelry. A large cheer went up from the children as they got up and filed into a line to get their treasure, Belle giving them each a large scoop as they walked past. Killian noticed that the scoop pretty much filled up the rest of their trick or treat bags. Then they got to choose a book from the table set up near the back exit.

The small witch and two pirates made their way back to their beautiful seaside home. The denizens of their town were dwindling in number at the (somewhat) late hour of 8:15 (late for most of the trick or treaters anyway). The witch was content to read her book under the street lamps while sucking on a Ring Pop liberated from her loot. The smaller pirate was passed out on the larger pirate’s shoulder, as he’d barely made it out of the library with his eyes open. On the front porch, a beautiful blonde was handing out candy to the last few stragglers. She wore a black dress decorated with pumpkins and a black cat mask.  As the last trick or treaters left the porch, she gingerly collapsed into her rocking chair.

“Mommy, Mommy!” Hope yelled excitedly as she ran up the porch steps. She was not too grown up to continue calling Emma Mommy. “Look at everything we got!” She ran up to Emma and showed her all the spoils from the night. Emma smiled and removed the mask from her face.

“It looks like the town will be having a candy shortage in the coming weeks,” she said, laughing a bit. Then she put on a serious tone. “Are you prepared to pay the candy tax?” She held her hand out for payment. Hope looked up at Killian and he nodded that, yes, she needed to give her mother some of her candy. Hope reluctantly gave her two chocolate coins and skipped into the house.

“I see this one barely made it home?” Emma said, softly patting DL’s arm that was hanging down near her.

“Aye, Swan, passed out right as we were leaving the library.” He shifted DL slightly. “Let me get him into his night clothes and then I’ll come out with you.” Emma nodded in agreement.

It took Killian a little longer than he anticipated to get DL out of his costume. He eventually just kept him in his muslin shirt and forwent trying to wrestle pajama pants onto him, letting him sleep in his underwear. He folded the parts of his costume he was able to get off and placed them on his dresser. He then gave him a kiss before turning on the nightlight DL needed to sleep, and closed the door.

Killian checked in on Hope who had already changed out of her witch costume and put on a nightgown. She was still reading the book she’d received from Belle.

“Did you brush your teeth, little love?” he asked. She gave her patented Emma eye roll.

“Yes, Father,” she said not even looking up from her book. Emma said they were going to hate the teenage years if she was already this dramatic. Killian walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t stay up too late, there is still school tomorrow,” he told her. She grunted an acknowledgment as he left.

He walked outside and joined Emma on the other rocking chair that was out on the porch. Yes, they were a two-rocking-chair-on-the-porch-type people now. Emma had already eaten her candy tax and was now working on one of the fun size bags of Peanut M&M’s that she had been passing out to trick or treaters.

“And how many of those did you eat tonight, Swan?” he asked, snagging a bag for himself from the bowl next to Emma’s rocking chair.

She blushed a little at his question. “There’s peanuts in it. That counts as protein, right?” she asked.

“Ah, is that the excuse you’re using then. Peanuts for the peanut, aye?” He reached over and rubbed her swollen belly. “We missed you tonight,” he said, reaching over to grab her hand and kiss her knuckles.

“Yeah, well, being on modified bed rest for this little one takes priority, I guess.” She took back her hand and put both of them on her belly. “At least it’s only two more months until this little peanut graces us with their presence.”

Killian reached his hand back out for hers, admiring the wedding band that graced his ring finger and the engagement ring and wedding band that adorned hers. It was amazing to think that it had been nine years since that whole ordeal, and here they were, about to welcome their fourth child (and the fact that Henry was married and expecting a babe of his own was a lot scarier to Killian than adding another to their brood). Killian just thanked his lucky stars that life had consented to let this old pirate settle down and be blessed with the greatest treasure one could ever find.

“Let’s go to bed, love,” he said, standing and pulling her up with him. Emma smiled and gave him a peck on the lips.

“Let’s go to bed.”

Please leave comments and reblog! Also, let me know if you want to be tagged in future stories

@profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @mariakov81 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615​ @csrolereversal​ @cshalloweek​

[cowboysandcannolis]

The Great Pumpkin (Micah Bell X Reader (female pronouns used))

Fall was a favorite time of the year for you, it was finally cooling down, the leaves were changing to beautiful variations of gold, orange and crimson...What more could you ask for?

You sipped your coffee idaly, looking out on the mist that covered the expanse below Horseshoe Overlook, the camp was still quiet but you could pick out Jack’s voice somewhere behind you in camp.

“But mama...”

“Jack, ain’t nobody got the extra money for that right now.” Abigail scolded her son

“Maybe some year I’ll get you one but not this year.”

“But Sean said that if I could get one he would show me how to make a....How to make a face into it.”

You recall last year Sean going on about some old Irish tradition of carving faces into pumpkins and turnips. How he complained when he was forbidden from displaying one in camp. It sounded like a bit of a waste to you but if Jack really wanted to do so it was your duty as his aunt to try and help, right?

You turned around, dumping the last few gritty sips of your coffee on the grass as you approached the mother and son

“Abby, Id be more than happy to help. I’ll buy Jack a pumpkin. If you’ll allow it I’ll take him into town and let him pick it out.”

You had seen a few sitting on the steps of the general store. Let Jack pick out one and bring it back to camp. Easy.

“Can I mama?!” The little boy was grinning so brightly. Frankly, if Abigail said no you would probably buy one for him anyway. You loved to see him smile.

“Well...” Abigail frowned initially but Jack’s enthusiasm seemed to sway her.

“If you’re careful, Y/N. Real careful.”

“I will be, Abigail. I promise. You ready to go right now, Jack?”

“Mhm!”

“Well then...” You kept your demeanor and stance calm and collected.

“Race you to the horses!”

Of course you let Jack win the race, the two of you giggling as you heard Grimshaw squawking behind you. But you were up on your horse and heading out before she could give you a good scolding.

You kept the ride to Valentine slow, careful not to jostle Jack too much, talking with him about things that he enjoyed. About how Arthur had brought him a new toy, how Hosea had read him a really interesting story about a prince.. Things of that nature.

You weren’t paying very much attention to the road in front of you and you jumped when a jet black horse started out in front of you, blocking your way.

Micah sat atop Baylock, grinning from ear to ear. He had been away on a job for about three days now, you missed that bastard.

“Well, what do we have here? My woman and little Jack. Where you two goin’?”

“Well, I’m taking Jack into town to get somethin, I’ll catch up with you later at camp...Glad your back home in one piece, Micah.”

Micah hummed as he positioned Baylock beside your horse, leaning over to steal a kiss, you felt Jack stiffen so you cut it off early.

“Alright, well I’ll-“

“No, no. I’ll come with ya. In case you need me.” His voice got that sickly sweet tone and you had to roll your eyes at this asshole that you called your significant other.

“Fine...Hey, Jack?”

“Yes, Aunt Y/N?”

“You think we can beat Micah to town?”

That got his smile back. You gripped the boy tightly to you so that he wouldn’t fall off and spurred your horse forward, Micah cursing you as he was left in the dust but not for much longer.

You arrived in Valentine about neck and neck. Your horse was fast by breed but Baylock had heart. You would make sure they both got rewarded with an apple.

You hitched up in front of the General store, setting Jack down on the steps.

“So what is it we’re here to get?” Micah drawled as he boxed you against your horse predatorily, to which you rolled your eyes, slipping under his arm to follow Jack.

“A pumpkin. Sean’s going to teach him how to...Do something with it.” You shrugged idaly, you couldn’t help a little giggle as you saw Micah’s reaction. He was not impressed.

“A pumpkin? You rode all the way to town to get the boy a pumpkin?”

“Yep.” You answered.

Jack was already examining a few. Some were small enough to fit in his arms, a few others had some more heft. Any of these you were pretty sure you could get back to camp easily enough. Worst came to worst you would make Micah take the pumpkin. And you would make him swear not to drop it on ‘accident’.

The storekeeper peered out at your merry trio from behind the open door

“Morning folks, you lookin’ for pumpkins?”

“Yes, for my son.” You lied through your teeth easily enough.

“Well, then you ought to see this one that I have in the storeroom. We barely could get it off the damn wagon, much less get it out on the porch.”

“No thank you, we’re alri-“

“Let’s see it.” Micah drawled. Here we go again...Micah had to have the biggest and best of everything, he would be damed if he didn’t. You could only hope the store owner was exaggerating.

Well, he wasn’t. As you followed him into the store room you mentally cursed the store owner for getting involved. That pumpkin was bigger than the stew pot at camp and probably wasn’t too much smaller than a wagon wheel.

“Darling...” Your voice was sweet enough as you looked to Micah but your eyes were burning with hell fire. “I don’t think this is necessary.”

“Well of course it is, dear. Only the best for my wife and boy. Go out front and pay and I’ll take care of this.”

You hated that man. So much.

But you obeyed, paying with Jack and bringing him out to your horse.

“Now, Jack. If that ain’t the one you want I’ll get you a smaller one. Micah is just being..” An ass.

“No, that’s okay, Aunt Y/N! Sean will show me how to make a really big face in that one!”

You sat on your horse, awaiting Micah for about five minutes. What the hell was going on?

Come to find out there he was in the storeroom, squatting down and doing his best to try and lift the massive fruit, or maybe it was a vegetable, cussing away.

You were a bit surprised, as Micah was very strong, no denying that. He could lift you over his head with ease and you had seen him toting carcasses that must have had a hundred pounds on you. And he was bested by a pumpkin.

“Micah. Buy a smaller pumpkin.” You said sternly, leaning against the doorframe.

“Never.” He growled.

It took a wagon and Bill, that you had retrieved on your own, don’t think Micah asked for help, to get that damn pumpkin back to camp. It took a very happy Jack

and Sean maybe three hours to scoop out all those guts and get to carving. Once it was finished it was quite a sight, lit by a candle that Charles had provided. With the guts you made a pie, cooking it in a cast iron press on some coals. It was a little well done but no one seemed to complain. As this was a very rare occasion indeed.

That night Micah stayed in the tent you shared, nursing his thrown out back and his pride. He was a right idiot. But he was your idiot. You brought him a slice of the pie to toast to the pumpkin that had defeated the great Micah Bell.

[thenightling]

This year my Birthday was a surprisingly good one.  Probably the nicest one since I moved up here. The day before my Birthday I got a bunch of Halloween items at Dollar General for seventy to ninety percent off. And on my Birthday My Aunt Debbie made me a cheese cake and made homemade chicken soup.   When I complimented a set of artificial Cinderella pumpkins on her staircase in the house she told me I could have them.  (I love pumpkins.) My Aunt Diane came over with a basket bundled with black and orange tissue paper.  Inside it were Halloween socks (skeleton socks), a few Halloween themed pins, some candy corn, some marshmallow pumpkins, a witch doll holding a broom (Halloween decoration), and a tea pot shaped like a pumpkin with a small cream pitcher and sugar bowl, also shaped like pumpkins.  (Note to self: Now I have to track down some pumpkin shaped teacups with leaf saucers to go with it.)

My Aunt Susan gave me a Jack Skellington throw blanket. The pattern is Jack's head(s) making various faces, probably taken from a photo of the boxed heads with all his different facial expressions from the "making of" documentary or book.

I went out to eat at The Bistro (an Italian restaurant) and filled up on bread and three bowls of soup.  Two servings of creamy black bean soup and one of Mediterranean chicken soup.  And some grape tomatoes.  I took home a pizza pie and a stuffed eggplant (which is now all gone.)

It was a beautiful full moon night. And I had a slice of my ice cream Jack-o-lantern cake.

This week Svengoolie showed a Hammer film featuring two of my favorite actors, Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.   And to top it all off, my color restored version of the Frank Langella Dracula Blu Ray arrived over two weeks earlier than I expected.  True, that getting this is how I found out my Blu Ray playing app was broken on my PC but at least I found a free equivalent that did the job (Thank you, Leawo.)

[zarcake-writes]

Overwatch Thanksgiving

Hello everyone! Have a Thanksgiving themed fic. I’ll post this up on my Ao3 later. But I want those who celebrate to know one thing, family isn’t always blood. And sometimes, family is shit. Spending the holidays with friends is just as wonderful. Hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: some angst, mention of child abuse

It was Thanksgiving in America, and you were one of the few American’s at the Swiss headquarters. Usually the holidays you spent at home, but you were not able to head home this year. So, you and the other few American’s decided to celebrate the holidays together. No one could decide on what to make, so everyone was bringing a dish they grew up with.

Gabe was making homemade tamales. You had helped him make the tamales but when he was making the masa he made you leave the kitchen. Gabe claimed it was a family secret and the only way you could see was if you married him, he then winked at you and you swatted him. Jack was making a small turkey, you were bringing two pies, and Jesse… well you were sure Jesse was going to bring alcohol or some type of potatoes.

You arrived at Gabe’s apartment with two pies and dressed in nice clothes, you spent an hour in front of the mirror deciding on a dress or pants. You chose pants and pulled on a pair of black booties you loved so much. Jesse answered the door and gave you his typical grin, the young man’s eyes went wide when you saw what you were wearing.

“Howdy ma. You’re lookin mighty fine, I’m sure Gabe will be happy to see you,” he said. Jesse gave you a wink and stepped aside. You saw he was only in regular clothes, jeans his boots and a black shirt. You glimpsed his gang tattoo, you kept telling him to get a cover up. Seeing Jesse dressed so casual made you worry, did you dress too nicely?

“Hello sweetie. Where’s Gabe and Jack?” you said stepping inside and ignoring his comment, yet the blush on your face lingered.

“In the kitchen. Gabe’s trying to control the cooking, and is succeeding in pissing off Jack. What type of pies did you make?”

“Apple and pumpkin. Why is Gabe trying to control the cooking?”

“Gabe doesn’t trust Jack’s cooking. Afraid he’ll only try to use salt and pepper as seasonings,” Jesse snorted.

“Ay Gabe. I’ll head in there right now.”

“Let me carry those for you.”

Jesse took the pies from your hands and you followed him into the kitchen. Gabe and Jack were glaring at each other, Jack was pointing a turkey baster at him while Gabe had his arms crossed.

“You touch my turkey Reyes, and I’ll kill you,” Jack growled.

“Like you can,” Gabe scoffed.

“Easy you two. Gabe let Jack tend to his turkey,” you interrupted them. Both men looked at you and smiled. Gabe was wearing a nice button up black shirt with his sleeves rolled up with a tight pair of black jeans. Damn he looks good, you thought. Jack was in a dark blue shirt with a dark pair of jeans. They were dressed nicely, and you relaxed. Jesse placed your pies in the fridge and handed you a beer.

“There you are, take Gabe out of here before I kill him,” Jack said.

“It’s my kitchen!”

“Come on Gabe. Jack can cook poultry very well, I’ve had his chicken before,” you said. You grabbed the man and pulled him from the kitchen and into the living room. You gave Jack a wink and he looked relieved.

Jesse followed you three from the kitchen and to the living room where Gabe had some silly holiday movie playing.

“You look very nice,” Gabe said to you softly.

“You do too. I thought I dressed up too much, especially when I saw Jesse,” you said with a nervous laugh.

“Jesse under dressed.”

“Hey, I didn’t know what to wear,” Jesse said. You only smirked and watched the horrible movie Gabe had playing.

Several hours later and the turkey was done and everyone was sitting at Gabe’s table getting ready to eat. Jack carved the turkey and Gabe handed out his tamales and Jesse surprised everyone with his diced potatoes. Jack asked for everyone to say what they’re thankful for.

“I’ll start. I’m thankful for you three. Without you three, I would be home right now listening to family go on and on about corn and farm life,” Jack said. He glanced at Gabe who rolled his eyes dramatically.

“I’m thankful for the food on the table, the roof over my head, and the beautiful (Y/N), who graced us with her company today,” Gabe said with a wink. You blushed and shook your head at him. Jack and Jesse rolled their eyes at you both.

“I am grateful,” you started, “For you three, and all the wonderful things in my life. And for my heater, it gets cold here.”

“If you stayed with me you won’t need a heater,” Gabe muttered. Jack hit him and Jesse let out a laugh. You blushed harder and covered your face with your hand.

“What about you Jesse?” Jack asked.

“I’m… I’m thankful for the second chance I got a couple years ago and for the food on the table. I’m thankful for (Y/N), who is like a mom I never had.”

“Jesse you’re going to make me cry,” you said. You touched your chest reached for the young man’s hand, he only gave you a soft smile. It was true, you did look out for the young man like he was your own son.

After that, everyone dug in and began to eat. Jack’s turkey was wonderful and Gabe’s tamales were the best you’ve ever had. Jesse’s potatoes were delicious, he admitted he searched for a recipe and he blushed at the compliments.

After a while of eating in silence, Jesse asked, “What did you three do as kids on Thanksgiving?”

“We would go to my grandma’s house and eat. I would go to her house the day before and we would make tamales all day, it’s her recipe I used. We made red beef ones, green chicken ones, even sweet ones. We made enough that we would freeze them and have them on Christmas. Someone would usually bring a turkey or someone made enchiladas or chicken mole. It was always hectic and someone always got in a fight. But we all ate and we always said grace and what we’re thankful for,” Gabe said.

“We did something similar. But instead of Mexican food, we had typical white people food. My dad would barbecue his turkey, and he ruined it every year. My aunt would bring a ham, my grandma would bring like three different cobblers and my grandpa would bring the turkey he made. His wasn’t as bad as my dad’s but we ate both. We even had those adult and child tables. It was terrible and the last time I was there, my grandma tried setting me up with some random girl she brought,” Jack said. Everyone laughed at that.

“My mom asked when was I going to give her grandbabies. I told her as soon as (Y/N) agrees to go out with me,” Gabe said with a wink. You threw a piece of bread at him but laughed at him.

“What about you (Y/N)?” Jesse asked you.

“Before my parent’s divorce, the holidays were horrible. My grandma, from my dad’s side, wanted us to go see her and the rest of the family, but my mom hated my dad’s family. They argued and we stayed home. It got to the point where our dinners would be awkward and tense. My siblings and I were afraid to ask for anything because of how angry our parents were. After the divorce, my mom just stopped celebrating, but my dad was determined to make the holidays special. I remember one year, he bought a ham and he made a duck. We had potatoes and those canned yams with marshmallows and our grandma brought some pies. That was a good year,” you said with a soft smile.

“I remember those yams. My grandma hated them,” Jack laughed fondly.

It got quiet in the dining room, until Jesse spoke up. “I only remember one Thanksgiving that I actually enjoyed and hated at the same time. I went to a friend’s house one year and it was the first time I saw how a family should act. I was eight and he was my best friend and I loved his family, and for some reason they loved me. I remember seeing his family laughing and smiling, his dad wasn’t drunk or yelling at his mom. His mom wasn’t ignoring him and speaking to him harshly. His grandma kept handing me cookies and saying I need to get fattened up. He and I played in the back yard with his cousins and I remember how happy I was. I ate so much and I remember his mom sending me home with a plate of food for my mom and I,” Jesse said. His smile fell and you saw he grew sad and his eyes welled up.

“Jesse?” you asked softy. You glanced at Gabe and Jack, both glanced at each other.

“When I got home, I remember thinking that my mom is going to love this food and maybe she’ll smile at me. But, my dad was waiting for me. My dad was drunk and when he saw me walk in with food he… he went nuts. He threw the food against the wall, I still remember the plate shattering, and he screamed at me. Said my mom was gone, she just upped and left us. And where was I at? I was out getting free food. I remember he said a McCree never accepts free food. Then he beat me, he beat me good. When I woke up, the broken plate of food was on the floor and I was alone with a bloodied and bruised face. I remember not caring about my face or my mom, all I remember is looking at the broken plate and crying. I tried to glue it together and that night I left it on my friend’s front porch and I… I never hung out with him again and I never saw my mom again,” Jesse said softly. Tears were running down his face. You reached for his hand and took it gently.

“Jesse,” Gabe said softly. Jesse looked from your hand to Gabe.

“Yeah?”

“We’re your family now.”

“He’s right Jesse. Family isn’t always blood. Gabe’s my brother, and I would do anything for him. Same goes for you and (Y/N),” Jack said.

“We love you Jesse,” you said softly. Jesse looked at you three and wiped his face.

“You three are making me cry,” he said with a soft laugh. You smiled and held his hand tighter.

Jesse helped you clean up, and he hugged you tightly in the kitchen. You hugged him back and rubbed his back. His soft cries broke your heart and made you cry. After the hug, you served up the pie, which seemed to improve everyone’s spirits. Jesse happily had two slices of pie and ended up asleep on Gabe’s couch, Jack was asleep in one of his chairs. You smiled at both men and met Gabe in the kitchen.

“Hello hermosa,” Gabe said pulling you close.

“Hello guapo,” you said softly. You wrapped your arms around his body and laid your head against his solid chest. You were so full and so tired, you were sure you would fall asleep on him right now. Gabe laid his cheek on the top of your head and smiled softly.

A cough broke you both apart. Jesse was standing in the kitchen looking embarrassed.

“What’s up Jesse?” you asked.

“So, could we do this next year?” he asked softly.

“We can do it together, just us four. Or we could invite our other friends and show them what this holiday means to us,” you said softly.

“Really?” Jesse asked excitedly.

“Yes.”

“Gabe, could we do that?” Jesse asked.

“Of course,” Gabe smiled.

Jesse smiled at you both and grabbed the apple pie and walked into Gabe’s living room. You smiled up at Gabe, he kissed your lips softly. You both broke apart with a laugh when you heard Jack yell about Jesse eating all the apple pie. Gabe pulled you back to the living room to spend time with Jesse and Jack.

[nerdyvocals]

I have a fun food story! Let me tell you about the disaster that was Opossum Pie.

First: clarification. Sometimes, when I say sister or brother, I am referring to people who are neither my biological nor adopted siblings. My mother had two biological children, me and my older sister Trisha.

My brother Jamie is actually my cousin. When he was about fourteen, his mother died, and since his father worked overseas in Germany and didn’t want to add “leaving-Behind-everything-and-everyone-right-after-his-mother-died” to the trauma Jamie experienced of his mother dying (the circumstances of which were highly traumatizing, but that’s another story) he decided to leave his son in the US under the care of his closest aunt, my mother. She never formally adopted him, and he never called her ‘mom’ but she has been the only maternal figure in his life for the past 30-ish years of it.

As for Katie, she is of no relation to us. My mother was her babysitter, and ended up becoming a second mother to her.

My mother wasn’t supposed to have kids, and when she got pregnant with my sister, doctors told her it was a fluke and would never happen again, but congrats on your once-in-a-lifetime-miracle! Then eleven years later she met my dad, told him she couldn’t have kids, he said he was okay with it, waited until after the wedding to tell her “hey, actually, I want a child” so she saw specialists and went in for a pre-op and they were like “we can’t operate, you’re already pregnant”. Fast forward nine months, I was born in the middle of a divorce!

If you’re still confused, take a moment to realize this is rural Alabama, and it will start to make more sense.

Okay, actual story time. It was thanksgiving, 2010, this first since Maw-Maw died. I woke up, got dressed, and left with my dad (due to the aforementioned divorce, I grew up alternating which parent I was with on holidays). I still don’t know if I’m glad I didn’t have to participate, or mad that I missed the clusterfuck that is to follow.

My mother was gravely upset at this being the first ever thanksgiving she would spend without her own mother, amplified by the fact that her nine-year-old (me) didn’t fully understand all that had happened, had not stopped crying since June, and really Did Not want to leave.

Despite this, she saw me off with a promise that neither rain, wind, snow, nor the Devil himself could stop her if I decided I want to come home, put on her brave face, and prepared for the guests to arrive.

And arrive they did. Relatives returned to the homeland of Backwoods, Nowhere from such exotic places of Georgia, Kentucky, and other places that I now realize I don’t know where these people lived. I can’t remember if Jamie was living in Vegas at this point or not.

My sister arrived (from like. Five seconds to the left of us) with her New Husband (thank Christ he didn’t last long, he was a real piece of work) and the most Beautiful Cake anyone had ever seen. This thing looked like something award-winning from the cover of a magazine. It was a made-from-scratch pumpkin cheesecake and Jamie was enamored.

He kept asking when dinner was going to be every five minutes, rushing my mother who was pretty much the sole chef of the event, and eyeing it through the meal. Finally, mom had enough, and just told him “life’s short Jamie, get a piece of cake”.

And get a piece he did. He cut himself a generous slice. Sat and admired it. Got a huge chunk on his fork. Closed his mouth around it. And immediately started gagging.

No one thought anything of it at first. It’s a common joke we make “ooh, this is nasty, y’all better let me eat all of it so you don’t get sick!” But he was really going for it. People finally realized something was wrong when he was leaning over the trash can, scraping his tongue with his fork and he reared back and screamed, “WHAT KINDA JACKASS ROAD KILL DID YOU PUT IN THIS ___ OPOSSUM PIE???” All these years later, my mother refuses to fill in whatever was in that blank, meaning it was likely either some form of “goddamn” or “fuck”, the two words she has never said and will never say, even in quote.

And my family, like the certified dumbasses we are, began tasting the cake, and too gagging and carrying on. I think someone threw up. They saved a piece for Trisha’s mother-in-law to try when she arrived from work.

Trisha is in tears at this point and calls Katie (not in attendance this year), whom she got the recipe from. She tearfully explains what’s happened over the sounds of retching in the background and asks what could’ve gone wrong. Katie, bless her soul, is quiet for a moment, and then, “I hope I didn’t mix up the ingredients.”

Here’s what happened, as best we can figure. A few weeks beforehand, Trisha and Katie has been chatting on the phone and Trisha had mentioned that now she was married and not living at home for the first time, she wanted to bring something nice for the meal, not store-bought or made from boxed mix, but do-it-yourself and difficult. Katie told her about this pumpkin cheesecake recipie she had and began reading it off to her (they both still had flip phones, and reading it off was easier then trying to text a picture). However, at the same time, she was copying down another recipe at the same time, and likely read off a few wrong things. And poor Trisha never questioned it.

This is a story we bring up at every gathering. Every time a new friend is made. A new relationship started. Any chance we get.

The next year I pulled Trisha aside and said “So I heard you made Opossum Pie last year. What’s this year, Roadkill Ravioli?” She punched me in the gut, but it was worth it.

The Turkey Story

So it’s 2001, and my family drives from fucking California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for thanksgiving, becuase my grandparents are moving into a nursing home and it’s their last holiday in that house.  So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing.

Since it’s their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are good, even if they are sincere.  In the spirit of going all-out, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey.  

Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy scout by tossing foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been addicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights.  He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for a spicier mesquite-style bird, so Bobby makes a Cornish Game Hen seasoned that way, for them.

Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea.  He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen becuase why not?  He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there’s  dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out.  It’s Genius.

Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff slouching after her.

So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids all being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America.  Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, I was near tears from this nonsense and ready to fight a man roughly five times my size.  

Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we’re rotten children for ‘attacking’ him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache.

My sister eventually bolts upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip-Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson’s slowly taking over him.

“Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or I’ll beat your skull in.  Also, dinner’s ready, everyone go wash up.”

We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional “Name one thing you’re thankful for” as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit.  Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it’s really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there’s an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool.

Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks-

“OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT!”

We all stare at Sue.  We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth. Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since she’d been trying to justify Cliff’s behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going.

“IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE’VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE’RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I’M SO SORRY JESUS-” She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it’s a Victorian fainting couch only it’s a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler.

Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths “she’s not coming back”.   

Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, falls on his ass himself.  They are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle and it’s not working.

“I CAN’T EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM-”  Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that’s another story) and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants.  She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill.

“I wouldn’t want you to go hungry.  Can I make you some Eggs?”

“That would be lovely.” Said Sue, joke flying over her head like a boeing 747.  I recall watching my grandmother nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind.

Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby “For marrying well, for a change” “Pregnant Turkey” has been an Ohioan thanksgiving staple since then.  I’ll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek “OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT” when you carve it open, or it’s not authentic and won’t taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me.

If you enjoyed this story, help me avoid unnecessary employment so I can tell more by donating to my Tip Jar

[tomyroots]

Pumpkin Pie 2.0

I like pumpkin pie, but that was not what I was initially. When I left for college/university I was told that pumpkin pie was a really, really big deal for Thanksgiving and my initial though was “ I am not one of those crazy people that put pumpkin in a pie.”

A couple of years later, in 2013 to be exact, I ended up being one of those people that puts pumpkin in a pie and looks forward to eating a couple of slices.

The 1st pumpkin pies I made (Didn't make one, made 2 just because I could) ended up at Kate’s Thanksgiving dinner and I never wrote down the recipe. It was from a Food Network magazine and I gave it to her aunt because she asked for the recipe.

More than 2 years and I am back again at the same scenario, bake a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. After looking for the recipe online and coming up short, decided to combine several recipes that had good reviews and ended up with this one,(Thanks Google).

I hereby give you Pumpkin Pie 2.0

Feel free to make your own pie dough or use a store bought one.

½ cup granulated sugar

½ cup brown sugar

1 tbsp unbleached all purpose flour

1 tsp ground ginger

1 tsp ground cinnamon

½ tsp salt

½ tsp nutmeg

1/8 tsp ground cloves

1/8 tsp freshly ground black pepper

3 large eggs, beaten

2 cups canned or fresh pumpkin puree

1¼ cups evaporated milk

CRUST

Feel free to make your own pie dough or use a store bought one.

Method

In a large mixing bowl, mix the sugars, flour, salt, and spices until well combined.

In a smaller bowl, beat together the eggs, pumpkin puree and evaporated milk. Whisk the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients. For best flavor, cover and refrigerate the filling overnight before baking to allow the flavors to meld.

Roll the pie dough out to a 13" circle, and transfer to a 9-inch pie pan that is at least 1½-inches deep. Crimp the edges above the rim; this will give you a little extra headroom to hold the filling when it expands in the oven.

Refrigerate the crust while the oven preheats to 400°F.

When the oven is hot, place the pie pan on a baking sheet to catch any drips. Pour the filling into the unbaked pie shell.

Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, until the filling is set 2-inches in from the edge. The center should still be wobbly. Remove the pie from the oven and cool on a rack; the center will finish cooking through as the pie sits.

Note:

It is important to remove the pie from the oven before the center is completely set since it will continue cooking as the heat moves from the edge of the pie towards the center. Leaving it in the oven too long will cause the pie to crack in the center like this.

[worldwarlove1]

My vegan list :)

Vegans (And those of us looking to or are making a positive enough impact) rejoice for even though this list (Starts after the next paragraph) has lots of stuff and covers pretty much if not every craving you are likely to have, this is a very basic/small list of all the vegan stuff that is actually out there, and to the best of my knowledge all of this info is correct, but if by any chance I have made any errors, please let me know (Note: At the end of this list, I do have a sustainable option of non veganism as well that can work if enough people get on board, and could encourage a lot more people to make a positive enough impact as well :)

From the Middle of 2017 till 2018 March 6th I was vegan, then on March 6th 2018 I decided to be an expert Flexitarian, then on the 1st of April 2018 I decided to nearly go back to the way I was before I was a vegan. I don’t know about where you guys live but here the speciality items, the imitation items and such are just getting too expensive and I am so fuckin’ poor that I would have to practically dare I say it, get into poor health and possibly die to keep on this path with my nutritional/specific needs, plus, I can’t afford a car or the insurance for it even if I could drive, I live an an old bachelor/studio apartment in one of the rougher areas, and on top of being fairly sensitive to sunlight I am ever more so with cigarette smoke and suffer many allergic reactions to it, and guess what, there’s more then enough of that second hand crap going on around here and it effects my mind, who I am, and my debt, don’t even ask, and, yeah, I kind of want to stay healthy and live… if I ever win the lottery or let lucky enough I will go back to being a vegan in a…heartbeat. When I was briefly an expert Flexitarian I though that if I ate as if everyone on earth or close to it were vegan then what would be humane, as in animals living their full lifespan/etc, you will see my all my reasonings at the end of this list. Suffice to say, living in that world, even though I know I’m in this one, and my flawed logic (Liver is a small part of a life form so having a big pig out on that as oppose to like maybe a small piece/slice once a year, I might as well just say the whole creatures life was for that particular kind of flesh/meat/food, and so on like that) + excitement took a backtrack because of this, but, in my dreams, well, I got quite the wake up call, and I will never consume any honey or fish, same with cheese, creams, butter, margarine as they are made from like 5% or less of the milk (5% milk/5% fat) or other stuff that is just too much of a strain for far too little gain, so adjustments will have to be made and knowledge shared :)

VEGAN LIST:

These are suppose to be the best of the best with none of the plant based substances present that can cause adverse effects such as "Lectins & Phytic acid" (Just to name a couple), so these 7 vegan subs should allow for a vegan diet to still have all the benefits of a non-vegan one:

1)Source Naturals, Vegan Omega-3s EPA-DHA, 300 mg, 30 Vegan Softgels

2)Doctor's Best, Vegan D3, 2,500 IU, 60 Veggie Caps (If you have little to no UV exposure)

3)Deva, Vegan, B12, Sublingual, 90 Tablets

4)Nature's Plus, Hema-Plex, 60 Fast-Acting Vegetarian Capsules

5)Solaray, Zinc Copper, 100 Veggie Caps

6)Thorne, Iodine & Tyrosine, 60 Vegetarian Capsules

7)Pure Vegan, Cal/Mag, 180 Veggie Caps

With these pills, you are most likely to eventually figure out what you need (Your body craves) each day and you may not even know how much you need something and how much better it can make you feel mentally/emotionally/physically until you’ve had it and/or the right portions, and depending on how you body is, it can change from day to day, so take the ones that make you feel best, after consulting with your doctor about these pills first, just to be on the safe side.

Meat:

Don’t be fooled by the word veggie, these are actually pretty good tasting meat substitutes - granted they are not meat, but if it wasn’t for them, I would most likely be having more then 14 pounds or less a year, as I have really, really fierce cravings for it when the urges hit, so for me, I am giving myself a huge pat on the back for what I am doing, I love animals/life greatly and I am doing what I can, again, these subs are really quite tasty and I’m pleasantly surprised by them:

Yves (Italian veggie ground round, Family pack veggie dogs, Jumbo veggie dogs, Spicy italian veggie sausages, Veggie breakfast links, Veggie turkey, Veggie ham, Veggie bologna, Veggie pepperoni, Canadian veggie bacon, Veggie bacon strips, The good veggie burger)

Other companies that sell vegan meat subs:

The Vegan Butcher, Trader Joe’s, Tofurky, Nate’s, Boca, Lightlife’s, Health is wealth, SoyBoys, Gardenburger, Amy’s, Gimme Lean, Smart Deli, Smart ground, Smart Bacon, etc

All fruits & vedgies + Canned/packaged & Frozen ones (Note, try to get ones that are non-gmo and have not been sprayed with pesticides/etc, and some places do use monkey/people in slave labour to get coconuts as well as the cocoa beans that are used for making cocoa and chocolate, so check to make sure), Any kinds of (Herbs Spices, Salts, peppers, Oats, Pasta), Onion rings, Uncle Bens rice (Not cheese, chicken or meat ones) + many others, etc

Waffles & pancakes:

Trader Joe’s Gluten Free Toaster Waffles, 365 Everyday Value waffles (Organic Multigrain Waffles, Organic Apple Cinnamon Mini Waffles), Kashi (Cinnamon Waffles Gluten-Free, Original Waffles Gluten-Free), Van’s waffles (Gluten Free Ancient Grains Waffles, Organic Whole Grain Waffles: Blueberry, Flax, and Totally Original, Gluten Free Pancakes, Gluten Free Cinnamon French Toast Sticks, Power Grains Waffles), Nature’s Path waffles (Buckwheat Wildberry Frozen Waffle, Pumpkin Spice Waffle, Chia Plus Frozen Waffle, Flax Plus Frozen Waffle, Homestyle Frozen Waffle, Dark Chocolate Chip Waffles, Maple Cinnamon Frozen Waffle), Maple, Surprisingly Vegan Original recipe waffle mix, Hungry Jack’s complete wheat blends pancake and waffle mix, Cherrybrook Kitchen glutin free pancake and waffle mix, Angie’s Pancakes pancake and waffle mix, Bob’s Red Mill (Glutin free pancake mix, Pancake & waffle mix, Organic 7-Grain pancake & waffle whole grain mix), Aunt Jemima (Aunt Jemima’s Original Pancake Mix & Whole Wheat Pancake Mix), Vegan Supply, Bisquick’s Original Pancake & Baking Mix, etc

Egg replacements to use for recipes:

Ener-G Egg Replacer, Follow Your Heart VeganEgg, The Vegg Scramble, Ener-go powdered egg replacer, etc

Scrambled egg subs:

Ingredient list on package should include (But not necessarily limited to) “Kala namak salt, Nutritional yeast, Vegan margarine & mayonnaise, Dried instant mashed potatoes, Dehydrated flakes and/or powder, Turmeric, Sunflower and/or canola oil, No Yolks sauce, Water, Egg replacer & Silken tofu (With a separate packet in the box with fresh chopped chives & freshly ground pepper to use as garnish).”

Vegan eggnogs:

Califia Farms Holiday Nog, Silk Soy Milk Seasonal Nog, So Delicious Nog Coconut Milk, So Nice Noel Nog, Rice dream rice nog, Earth balance soy nog, Silk nog, Silk almond nog, Vitasoy holly nog, Almond fresh noel nog, Matrioshka Vegan Egg Nog, Classic almond breeze nog, Vanilla chai spice almond breeze nog, Pecan malk nog, etc

Other tasty holiday (Or whenevz) drinks:

Vitasoy mint chocolate, So Delicious Mint Chocolate Coconut Milk, So delicious pumpkin spice coconut milk, Califia Farms Peppermint Mocha Cold Brew Coffee, Califia Farms Spiced Cranberry Cocktail, Pumpkin Spice Latte Cold Brew Coffee, Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Almond Beverage, Trader joe’s spiced cider, Trader Joe’s Chocolate Peppermint Almond Beverage, etc

Muffins:

Enjoy life muffin mix, Hodgson Mill Bran Muffin Mix, Earth balance Vegan Cinnamon Sugar Donut Muffins, Miracle Muffins, etc

Mac & cheese:

Field Roast Vegan Creamy Mac n’ Chao and Chili Mac n’ Chao, Daiya Deluxe (Cheddar Style Cheezy Mac, White Cheddar Style Veggie Cheezy Mac, Alfredo Style Cheezy Mac), Amy’s Rice Macaroni With Dairy Free Cheeze, Annie’s Homegrown Organic (Vegan Shells and Creamy Sauce, Gluten Free Vegan Elbows and Creamy Sauce), Road’s End Organic (Mac & Chreese, Shells & Chreese), Upton’s Naturals Ch’eesy (Bacon Mac, Mac), etc

Vegan donut shops:

Le Cave’s Bakery, Nami, Blue Star, Breakaway Bakery, Cake Girl, Donut Friend, Donut Panic, The Donuttery, Erin McKenna’s Bakery, Fōnuts, Nomad Donuts, Pepples Donut Farm, Psycho Donuts, Ring, Voodoo Doughnut, Beet Box Bakery, Sticky Fingers, Erin McKenna’s Bakery, Revolution Doughnuts & Coffee, Vegan Dream Doughnuts, A Better Choice Bakery, Glory Doughnuts, Union Square Donuts, Glam Doll Donuts, Tandem Doughnuts, Ronald’s Donuts, The Cinnamon Snail, Dun-Well Doughnuts, Erin McKenna’s Bakery, Move That Dough Baking Co., Blue Star, Organicos, Sweetpea Baking Co., Dottie’s Donuts, Vegan Treats Bakery, Nana’s Donuts, Five Daughters Bakery, Hugs & Donuts, Wheatsville Food Co-op, Mighty-O Donuts, Holey Moley Coffee + Doughnuts, Beechwood Doughnuts, Cartems Donuterie, Glory Hole Doughnuts, Léché Desserts, Through Being Cool, Tori’s Bakeshop, etc

Drinks, condiments & Pies:

Sara Lee’s Frozen Pies, Classico Pizza Sauce (Fire Roasted and Traditional), Brianna’s Poppy Seed Dressing, El Paso Enchilada Sauce, Mrs. Smith’s Deep Dish Pie Crusts, Veggie Worcestershire sauce, Plamils Egg-free Mayos, Marie Callender Frozen Fruit Pies and Cobblers, Girard’s Balsamic Glaze, Hunt’s Manwich Sloppy Joe Sauce (Original, Bold, Thick & Chunky), Organic Mung Bean Fettuccini, Gravy Master Browning & Seasoning Sauce, Bellissimo Dairy Free Parmesan Style Pasta Topper, Rice Dream Pies (Chocolate, Mint, Mocha, Vanilla), Girard’s Barbecue Sauce (Chuckwagon Hickory, Fiery Buffalo, Hawaiian Luau Plum, and Southwestern Mesquite), Most peanut butters, Ketchup, Mustard, Most Jams with no gelatin, Krispy Kreme Fruit Pies, Chocolate soy silk with 7 grams of protein per serving/cup + other silk & soy drinks & coconut/almond/cashew/etc milk, Tea, Coffee, Apple juice, Orange juice + Many other juices/drinks, Dairy-free Black Swan Dips, Dairy-free Wattle Valley dips, Ragu Pizza Quick Traditional Sauce, etc

Crackers, breads, buns, etc:

Super Pretzel Baked Soft Pretzels, Arnold’s Stone Ground Whole Wheat Bread, Melba toast (Wheat, whole grain), Thomas’s New York Style Bagels, belVita Crunchy “Toasted Coconut/peanutbutter/Cranberry Orange and Banana bread”, Amy’s Black Bean Tamale Verde, Arnold Premium Stuffing (Cornbread, Herb Seasoned, Sage & Onion, Seasoned, and Unseasoned), Gardeins & Beyond Meat products, Yves meatless products, Lightlife Black Bean Burgers & Smart Dogs, Annie’s Naturals Goddess Dressing, OrganicVille Pomegranate Organic Vinaigrette, Earth Island Mozzarella/Cheddar slices, Arnold Bread (Bakery Light—100% Whole Wheat, Brick Oven—Premium White, Healthfull Nuts & Seeds, Real Jewish Rye [Everything, Marble Rye, Melba Thin, Pumpernickel Rye, Seeded, and Seedless], Premium Italian and Stone Ground—100% Whole Wheat), Pillsbury crescent rolls, Ritz, Oreos, Pop corn (Depending on topping/s + Movie popcorns “butter” is not actual butter and is vegan, all be it very unhealthy, lolz), Arnold Pocket Thins Flatbread (8 Grain, Italian Herb, and 100% Whole Wheat), Arnold Rolls (Dinner, Potato Hot Dog, Steak, Wheat Hot Dog, White Hot Dog, White New England Hot Dog, Potato Sandwich), Arnold Sandwich Thins Rolls (Everything, Flax & Fiber, 100% Whole Wheat, and Multi-Grain), Cobblestone Bread Co. (Corn Dusted Kaiser Rolls, Philly Style Hoagie Rolls, New York Style Jewish Rye, Gourmet Kaiser Rolls, Vegetarian Minestrone with wholemeal pasta, Onion Rolls, Philly Steak Seeded Split, Pumpernickel, San Francisco Sourdough, Seeded Sandwich Rolls, White Sub Rolls, and Whole Wheat Bread), Food for Life (7 Sprouted Grains Bread, Cinnamon Raisin Bread, Cinnamon Raisin Sprouted Whole Grain Bread, Ezekiel 4:9 Flax Sprouted Grain Bread, Ezekiel 4:9 Low Sodium Sprouted Whole Grain Bread, Ezekiel 4:9 Sesame Sprouted Grain Burger Buns, Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted Whole Grain Burger Buns, Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted Whole Grain Hot Dog Buns), Thomas’ Bagels (Limited-Edition Banana Bread, Blueberry, Cinnamon Swirl, Cinnamon Raisin, Everything, Onion, Plain, Plain Made with Whole Grain, and 100% Whole Wheat), Thomas’ Bagel Thins Bagels (Plain, 100% Whole Wheat, Cinnamon Raisin, and Everything), Thomas’ Mini Bagels (100% Whole Wheat, Blueberry, Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Cinnamon Raisin, Plain, and Plain Made with Whole Grains), Thomas’ Sahara Pita Pockets and Tortilla Wraps, Weight Watchers English Muffins, Sprouted Whole Grain Hot Dog Buns, Sprouted Whole Wheat Burger Buns, 7 SPROUTED GRAINS ENGLISH MUFFINS, Ezekiel 4:9 Cinnamon Raisin Sprouted Whole Grain English Muffins, Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted Grain Flax English Muffins, Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted Whole Grain English Muffins, Genesis 1:29 Sprouted Whole Grain English Muffins, Gluten Free Brown Rice English Muffins, Gluten Free Multi Seed English Muffins, 7 Sprouted Grains Cinnamon Raisin Bread, 7 Whole Grain Pocket Bread, Brown Rice Tortillas, Biscoff, Chunkie Dunkies, Enjoy Life Foods, Lenny & Larry’s, Mary’s Gone Crackers, Newman’s Own, Sweets From the Earth Wholesome Chow, etc

Vegan butters, cheeses, slices, spreads & shreds:

Heidi Hos Creamy Chai Cheese, Treelines Chipotle Serrano Pepper & Herb Garlic, Becel vegan, Kite Hills Truffle Dill Chai & Almond and Cashews Creme Cheese Spread, Follow Your Hearts Monterey Jack Vegan Gourmet, Daiyas Pepperjack Style (As well as their cheese shreds) & Jalapeno Havarti, Violifes regular vegan cheese, Chaos Creamy Original + Coconut Herb & Tomato Cayenne cheese slices, Go Veggies Graded Parmesan Style Topping, Pure Butter, Vitalite Butter, Granose Butter, Suma Butter, Biona Butter, Vitaquell Butter, V-Bites’ Cheezly, Vegusto, Scheese, Tofutt, Sheese, Nutritional yeast, Yeast flakes, etc

Soups/stews:

Chili style pinto & red kidney beans, Hormel Vegetarian Chili With Beans, Mister noodle (No meat), Ramen noodles (No meat), Sweet pickles, Vegetable & noodle soup, Alphabet soup, Mega noodle soup, Zoodles, Tomato soup, Noodle soup, Vegetarian chili, Vegetable soups, Canned Spaghetti, Vegetable Lentil & Roasted Red Pepper Soup, Traditional Lentil Soup, Tuscan Bean & Rice Soup, Tuscan Bean Soup, Roasted red pepper and Quinoa salsa soup (w/o chicken), Tortilla Style All Natural Soup, Organic Minestrone Soup, Split Pea Soup, Corn & Vegetable soup, 5 bean vegetable soup, Black Bean Vegetable Soup, French country vegetable soup, French Onion soup, Savory Garden Vegetable Soup, Garden pea soup, Tomato and rice stew, Savory Vegetable Soup, Mostly Unsplit Pea Soup, Cuban Black Bean Soup, Bean and Vegetable Duet Soup, Mediterranean Lentil Soup, Ginger Carrot Stew, Tomato Vegetable Soup, Four Bean Chili Soup, Swabian Rice and Vegetable Soup, Lentil Vegetable Soup, Spicy Black Bean and Kale Soup, Tomato and roasted red bell pepper soup, White bean & cremini mushroom stew, Tomato vegetable soup, Split pea & carrots soup, Savory Bean Stew, Sante Fe Vegetable Soup, Louisiana Bean Stew, Alabama Black Bean Gumbo Stew, Old World Split Pea Soup, Spicy Southwest Vegetable Stew, Lantil & carrots soup, Black bean & vegetable soup, Super broccoli soup, Chili Bean Soup, Chunky Vegetable Soup, Vegetable Barley Soup, Homestyle split pea soup, Yellow split pea soup, Lentil & Parsley Soup, etc (Note: There are many companies that make these types of soups/stews so be sure to check the labels - Every time I have checked the labels the only non vegan things I have found are all easy to spot - “Cheese, Butter, Milk, Beef, Chicken, Creme, Eggs “Meat and dairy items” - All the other ingredients are fine and I have checked tons of cans/brands).

Gelatin Alternatives:

Agar, Agar-Agar, Kanten, Carrageenan, Carrageen, Irish Moss, Vegan Jel, kuzu, Guar gum, Xanthan gum, Arrowroot, Kosher gelatins, Pectin, Vege-Gel, etc

Vegan jellos, puddings, custards, frostings & cakes/mixes:

Food Heaven Dairy Free Tiramisu, Simply delish jel desserts, Natural desserts Jel dessert, Bakol Jel Dessert, Vegetarian jelly crystals, Provamel Alpro, Oatly, Alpro’s Soya Dessert, Gefen, Dr. Oetker Vege-Gel, Bakol Jel desserts, Vietxoco, Jell-o instant pudding & pie filling [With Silk & Duncan hines moist delux cake mix], Duncan Hines Creamy Home-Style Frostings, Duncan Hines Cake Mixes, etc

Yogurts:

So Delicious Dairy Free Yogurts, Daiya Yogurts, Good Karma Dairy Free Yogurts, Amande Cultured Almondmilk Yogurt, Forager Project yogurts, Biona Puddings, Hain Celestial Non-Dairy Yogurts, Almond Dream Non-Dairy Yogurts, Silk Dairy-Free Yogurts, Koko Dairy Free Yogurts, Alpro Soya Yogurts, Kite Hill Artisan Almond Milk Yogurts, Kingland Soy Yogurts, Nancy’s Cultured Soy Yogurts, Nush Almond Milk Dairy Free Yoghurts, Biovegan Puddings, Organic Bio Provamel Soya Yogurts, Living Harvest Dairy-Free Yogurts, Yoconut Dairy-Free Yogurts, Coyo Coconut Milk Yogurts, Sojade Soy Puddings, Whole Soy & Co. Non-Dairy Soy Yogurts, Stonyfields O’Soy Yogurts, Sojade 100% Dairy free Bio Organic Yogurts, Anita’s Coconut Yogurt, Sojasun Yogurts, Coconut grove yogurts, Trader Joe’s Soy Yogurt, Tempt dairy-Free Yogurts, etc

Gravies, fries/etc:

Campbell’s Mushroom Gravy, Tofurky Vegan Savory Gravy, Fries/wedgies, tater tots, Hash browns, Home fries cooked in canola oil, Simply Organic Vegetarian Brown Gravy Seasoning Mix, Pacific Foods Organic Vegan Mushroom Gravy, Bisto gravy powder and granules, Oxo granules, Imagine Foods Organic Vegetarian Wild Mushroom Gravy, etc

Cookies & sweet pastry goods:

Famous Amos Sandwich Cookies, Goya Flan, Pepperidge Farm Puff Pastry Sheets, Unfrosted Pop-Tarts, Nature’s Path Deep Chocolate Signature Series Cookies, Dads old fashioned oatmeal cookies, Newman O’s Creme-filled chocolate cookies, Uncle Eddie’s Vegan Cookies, Nana’s Cookie Company, Nabisco Nutter butter, etc

Chocolates, mixes, fudges, ice creams & popsicles/bars:

barkTHINS snacking chocolates, Endangered species brand + Many others - Most that don’t have the word milk in the ingredients list are good to go, Häagen-Dazs Non-Dairy, Ben & Jerry’s nondairy, Swedish Glace, Almond Dream, Coconut Collaborative, Bessant & Drury, Alpro, Coles, Cocoa, Gelativo, Sanitarium, So Delicious, So Good, Weis, Nushies Natural, Coyo, CocoLuscious, Tofutti, Live a Little Gelato, Botanical Cuisine, Simple Truth Almond Dessert, Tofuttis non-dairy frozen desserts, Steve’s Dairy-free, Hershey’s Syrup (Chocolate, Strawberry, Lite, Sugar Free, +Calcium, and Special Dark), Chipotles Sofritas, Nesquik Syrup (Chocolate + Strawberry), Fruttare real fruit popsicles/bars, Del-Monte real fruit popsicles/bars, Soy dream, Luigi’s Real Italian Ice, Rice dream ice creams - Bites - Bars & frozen pies, Almond dream bites, Coconut bliss ice cream & ice cream bars, Dippin’ Dots ice cream beads, Talenti, Breyers Non-Dairy, NadaMoo!, Dairy Queen Star Kiss Bar, Trader Joe’s Soy, Double Rainbow, Dream, Soy Dream Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Rocket Bars (Chocolate, Vanilla), Tea Dreams Chocolate Caramel Chai + other Frozen Non-Dairy Desserts, Love Bean superfood fudge spread, Lydia’s Organics raw chocolate kreme, Santa Cruz Organic chocolate Syrup, Emmy’s chocolate sauce, Enjoy life brownie mix, Gharadelli double chocolate brownie mix, Keebler Fudge Shoppe Fudge Pops, Low Fat Pints (Chocolate Fudge), Klein’s Non-Dairy (Frozen Dessert cake rollm Frozen Dessert log (Cappuccino, Vanilla, & Chocolate), Rice Dream Chocolate Nutty Bar, Mast brother’s chocolate (Most have no dairy), Smooth ‘n’ Creamy Chocolate Eclair bars, Smooth ‘n’ Creamy Crunchy Munchy dessert bars, Smooth ‘n’ Creamy Frozen Dessert bars), Power Dream Soy Energy Drinks (Java Jolt, Mango Passion, Sky High Chai, Vanilla Blast, X-Treme Chocolate), Rice Dream Bars (Chocolate), Low Fat Pints (Coffee Marshmallow), Rice Dream Non-Dairy Dessert (Cocoa Marble Fudge) + other non-dairy desserts, Soy Delicious Creamy Fudge Bar, Sweet Nothings Pints Chocolate Sweet Nothings Pints Mint Fudge, Sweet Nothings Pints Vanilla, Low Fat Pints (Vanilla Fudge), Milk style chocolates (Vego, Vivani, and Ethicoco), Booja-Booja chocolates and ice creams (This brand is said to be one of the best), etc

Honey Alternatives:

Bee Free Honee, Stevia Products, Coconut nectar, Agave nectar, Maple syrup, etc

Cremes:

Alpro Soya Cream, Granose Soya Creem, Oatly cream, Coconut cream, Soya Too whipping cream, Squirty whipped cream, etc

Cereals/Porridges/Granola bars/Grahams/crackers/crumbs:

Kinnikinnick graham style crumbs, Kinnikinnick s’moreable graham style crackers, Nabisco grahams original + Other Graham crackers & Graham cracker crumbs with no honey, Instant Oatmeal, Cascadian Farm Organic Graham Crunch cereal, Cheerios, Maple cheerios, Kelloggs corn flakes, Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars, Peanut Butter Crunch, etc

Hot Cocoa & Marshmallows & other mellow stuff:

Ghirardelli (Chocolate Caramel Premium Hot Cocoa, Double Chocolate Premium Hot Cocoa, Mocha Premium Hot Cocoa, and Sweet Ground Chocolate & Cocoa Beverage Mix), Amanda’s Organic & Toasted Coconut Marshmellows, AH!laska non-dairy cocoa mix, Dandies all natural marshmallows, Archer farms hot cocoa (Malted Milk Chocolate, Candy Cane, Dark Chocolate, and Pumpkin Spice), Ananda Foods chocolate-covered cookies with marshmallow center + marshmallow lollipops, CAcafe Cocoa, Dandies all natural Marshmallows, Cacoco (Original, Global Warrior,, Essential Midnight), Sweet & Saras marshmallows & mallow treats, Cocoa canard, Trader Joe’s marshmallows, Cocoa cravings, Suzanne’s Specialties Ricemellow Creme, Cocoa felice, Freedom Confectionery vegetarian mallows, Dear cocoa, Smucker’s marshmallow topping, Eli’s Earth, Godiva dark chocolate hot cocoa, Nibmor, Rawcholati, Silly cow farms, St. Claire’s, Whittard (Caramel and Rocky Road, but ask for info on other flavours), Zimt drinking chocolate mix, etc

Candies (Hard, soft, gummy), chips & others:

Skittles, Swedish fish, Kosha turkish delight - mixed flavoured (+ Others), Popchips Sea Salt Potato, Earth Balance Vegan Sour Cream & Onion Kettle Chips, Ruffles All Dressed, Sun Chips Original, Kettle Brand Maple Bacon Potato Chips, Rold gold, Kettle Brand Backyard Barbeque Potato Chips, Brach’s (Root Beer Barrels, Hi-C Orange Slices, Hi-C Fruit Slices), Hot Tamales, 7-Eleven Select Wasabi Soy Flavored Potato Chips, Zapp’s Voodoo Potato Chips, Santitas Totopos de Maíz Tortilla Chips, Kettle Brand Sea Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips, 7-Eleven Select Go! Smart Sriracha Corn Tortilla Chips, XTRA Tangy Buffalo Wing Pringles, Popchips Sweet Potato, Betty Crockers Bac~Os Bacon Flavor Bits and Chips, Indian Life Chips, Boulder Canyon Avocado Oil Canyon Cut Jalapeño Chips, Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos, Fritos, Chile & Lime Flavored Sabritones Puffed Wheat Snacks, Beanitos, Earth Balance Vegan Cheddar Flavor Kettle Chips, Corn chips, Original Salsitas Spicy Salsa Flavored Tortilla Rounds, Flamin’ Hot Munchos Potato Crisps, Most types of (Lays, Ruffles & Doritoes + Others, & The Compliments brand has delicious chips and the ones that have an omega 6-3 ratio of 2.5/ to 1 are the healthiest ones and most of their flavours are vegan as well), Life savers (Not the gummy ones), Gobstoppers, Koolaid, Fruit by the foot, Tic-Tacs, Bubble gums (Big league chew, Hubba Bubba, Eclipse, Mentos, Juicy fruit, 5, Super bubble), Jolly rancher hard candies & lollipops, jujubes, Mike & Ikes, Nerds, Runts, Jujyfruits Chewy Fruity Candy, Dum Dum Pops, Twizzlers treater size candy, Charms sweet pops, Brach’s sugar free cinnamon candy discs, Candy watches, Flying saucers, Anglo Bubbly, Candy necklaces, love hearts, Sherbet lemons, Smucker’s Uncrustables, Ainseed balls, Candy whistles, Justin’s new bagged candy, Seitenbacher happy-fruits, Tasty brand all natural sweets, Mamba fruit chews, Fuzzy peaches, Orange bites, peanut butter bites, Yummy earth organic lollipops, Annie’s organic bunny fruit snacks, Dare candy co real fruits, Squish, Surf sweets, Lovely candy co products, Glee gum pops, Tasty brand fruit snacks, TruJoy sweets, Kerr’s Molasses kisses, Brachs mandarin orange slices, Giant wheel lolipops, Fruity pops, Double lolies, Rainbow dust, rainbow drops, Dip dabs, Jawbreakers solid candies, Double dip, Rhubarb and custard hard candies, Kola kubes, American hard gums, Sweet peanuts hard candies, Fizzers, Strawberries and cream hard candies, Aniseed twists hard candies, Pineapple cubes, Pear drops, Rockets/lollies, Ring pop original lollipops, Angel mints, juju fruits mix, Chick O sticks candies, Original dark chocolate peanut chews, Now and laters assorted taffy bulk, Atkinson’s peanut butter bars, Original dark chocolate peanut chews, Kool-Aid [Bursts, Dry mix (Sugar-free w/o red40, Blue1), Gels, Jammers, Liquid], Rawtella, Go Lo dark hazelnut spread, Planters peanuts, Teddy grams (Not the honey variety - Chocolate and chocolate chip ones are actually okay), Cracker jack, Keebler Vienna Fingers, Ginger snaps, Minute Maid Frozen Juice Bars, Gin gins, Barbaras snackimals, Justin’s nut butter, Twizzlers/Nibs (W/O red 40), Dots gum drops, Zotz candies, safety pops, Mary Jane, Blow Pops, Atomic Fireballs, Bottle caps, Twizzlers Twists Strawberry Flavored Licorice, etc

Sugars:

Beet sugar, Unrefined cane sugar, Vegan sugar, Unbleached sugar, Sugar (Labeled as Raw sugar, sugar in the raw/etc), Zulka, Billington’s golden caster sugar, Wholesome Sweeteners Fair Trade Organic Sugar, Rogers sugar from the Alberta factory, Wholesome Sweeteners Fair Trade Organic Light Brown Sugar, Wholesome Sweeteners Fair Trade Organic Dark Brown Sugar, Now Foods Beet Sugar, Trader Joe’s Organic Sugar, Evaporated Cane Juice, Sugar labeled as Raw]}, Rapunzel Rapadura, Woodstock Farms Organic Pure Cane Sugar, Florida Crystals Organic Cane Sugar, Red Path Sugar, Billingtons, The Raw Cane, Sprouts Sugar, Stevita/Truvia/Stevia), Agave Nectar, Agave syrup, Yacon syrup, Luli Condensed Soya, etc (So far as I know, sugars that are in pop, candies, cookies and other store bought goods are vegan as they do not go through the bone char process as it is cheaper for them not to go through the trouble of making the sugar have its nice white eye catching/appealing appearance “But, items with cane sugar are a hit and miss so stay clear of them unless you know for certain.”

Other food brands with good vegan options:

Kinnikinnick, Back to nature, Edward & sons, Annie’s, Genen, Luna Bars, Alternative baking company, Cascadian Farm, Earth Balance, Foods Alive, Walnut Acres, Seeds of Change, Now and Zen, Galaxy, Santa Cruz Organic, Muir Glen, Natural Feast, Lona Linda, Natural Touch, Amy’s kitchen/soups, Dr. Medougall’s, Imagine, Nongshim, Brand New Vegan, Miso Soup Mixes, Suma organic, Good natured soups, Wolfgang Puck organic soups, GoBio, Zupa noma, Nature’s store, Kettle Cuisine all natural soups, Genius herbs, Buckeye beans & herbs, nona lim, Essential organic soups, Simply organic, Instant vegan Tom Yum Soup, Panera, All natural gluten free cafe, Baxters vegetarian soups, Bolthouse farms, 365 every day value organic, Dr. McDougalls soups, Simply Asia Sesame Teriyaki and Spicy Kung Pao Noodle Bowls, Annie Chun’s Udon Soup Bowl, Malibu organic, kroger (Breads, buns and bagels), etc

A few of the many fast food joints in Canada:

Chinese food:

Sweet-and-sour sauce, Vegetable spring rolls, Vegetable steamed dumplings, Hot or cold sesame noodles, Salad with ginger or sesame dressing, Noodles and Rice, Veggie chow mein, Tofu chow mein, Steamed/plain rice (No eggs mixed in), Vegetable fried rice (No eggs mixed in), Tofu fried rice [(No eggs mixed in) & with rices and other items you can add stuff like garlic or whatever], Garlic tofu, General Tso’s tofu, Sweet-and-sour tofu, Cashew tofu, Tofu and broccoli, Mapo tofu (Specify no pork since traditionally this dish is cooked with it.), Mongolian tofu, Orange tofu, Kung Pao tofu, Vegetables, Steamed vegetables with a side of sesame sauce, Sautéed green beans and Garlic eggplant, fresh fruits and veggies :)

It is random but certain CF places here in Canada will do other practises that will make any number of these items non vegan, so just ask to make sure that there is no beef/pork/chicken broth or oyster/fish sauce, no bonito flakes to flavour any salads/dressings/soups, and for them not to use any non-vegan stuff from their signature stock to enhance the flavour of a dish (The boiling of bones/meat/prawn shells etc) and not to cook anything in lard and/or beef/chicken/fish oil/broth :)

Pizza joints:

if I were to have them without cheese or just make my own vegan cheese substitutes, then places that can make their pizzas vegan include: Blaze, Cici’s, Domino’s, Little Caesars, Mellow Mushroom, Papa John’s, Pizza Hut, Pizza Nova, Pizza Pizza [Has introduced Violife vegan cheese to its menu, so just ask for a violife vegan pizza (With your desired toppings) and your good to go + there are rumours that there may be other pizza joints that are thinking of adding vegan cheeses to their menu], PizzaRev, Pyramid Brewers-Margherita Pizza, Taco Bell-Mexican Pizza, zpizza-Berkeley Vegan Pizza, etc) and have crusts and sauces that are vegan (Be sure to ask) and also ask them not to add any sour cream or creams, and apparently pizza without cheese/vegan subs are still really tasty with extra sauce, red peppers, beans, garlic, onions and mushrooms in it’s place, but of course these toppings would be even better still with good vegan cheese.

Burgers and fries:

Newyork fries (Fries), McDonalds Fries & Hash browns, The Veggie burgers and fries from the A&Ws & Burger Kings are also vegan (Just don’t get any Onion rings on your Burger King burger, and as for Harveys most of there locations fries are vegan but some cook them in the same friers as the chicken nuggets and their soy based patty burger is also vegan (Oh Canada :)

Taco Bell:

Bean Burrito (minus non-vegan cheese), Cinnamon Twists

Tim hortons:

Savoury Potato Wedges, Hash Browns, Bagels (Plain, 12 grain, everything, cinnamon raisin, sesame seed, poppy seed, blueberry, pretzel and onion), Harvest Vegetable Soup, Oatmeal, Garden Veggie Sandwich (No Cream Cheese), Garden Salad, Bread, There is rumours going around that their iced caps and other dairy options (Including my fav. “Creamy Chocolate Chill”) may have vegan subs if more demands for that option are met.

Is your booze vegan?:

(http://www.barnivore.com/#)

Vegan body care, household cleaners, clothing, pet, home, electronics/etc:

LaBante London, Sugar Venom, V-dog, VeganCats, Bhava, Unicorn Goods, EcoTools, Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day, Kiss My Face Sunscreens & soaps, Supergoop Sunscreens, COOLA Sunscreens, Suntegrity Sun care products, Zazzle Vegan Electronics & Gadgets, Zazzle Vegan Gifts, Vegan Essentials, Nicora, Jaan J, 3M™ Thinsulate™, Environment Furniture, Votch, Biokleen Laundry Liquid, Mrs. Meyers home care products, Eco-Me Laundry Detergent, The Honest Company - Honest Dryer Cloths, Renee Rouleau, Method cleaning products, Dr. Bronner’s Sal Suds All Purpose Cleaner + Others, The Good Home Co. Laundry Detergents, Pureology, Bourgeois Boheme, JASON, Green beaver, Wills, Acure, Shahlon Ultrafabrics, Allen’s Naturally, Silk Industries, Unstitched Utilities, Brave GentleMan, Vegetarian Shoes, Pai, UK New Line, Olsenhaus, Toray Industries, Jiangsu GTIG Eastar Co. Ltd., Lush soaps, The body shop, Coquette, Sommers Plastic Products, Ecover Zero 2X Laundry Detergent, Living Earth Beauty, Alba Botanica, Hung’s Fortune International Co. Ltd., Andalou Naturals, Trader Joe’s Liquid Laundry Detergents, First Aid Beauty, Tüp Merserize, Faith Bright Holdings Limited, VeganCuts, Dr. Hauschka, Donna Salyers’ Fabulous-Furs Inc, Roopa Knitting Mills, Blissoma, Clearly Natural vegetable glycerin soaps, Yarok, Jiale Textile Co. Ltd., Keep, Cri de Coeur, Mad Hippie, Nanshy, Noah, Auromere, Wilby, Queen Helene, Mrs. Meyer’s 64 Load Laundry Detergents, Bronner’s Pure-Castile Liquid Soaps, Citra-Solv cleaning products, Vitacare, Lime Crime, FASHIONYARN®, Euromaglia, Meow Meow Tweet, Dr. Bronner’s All-One soaps, Snowtex, Method 8X Laundry Detergents, Lenzing AG, Glossier, Hangzhou Xinhe Garments Co. Ltd., VOID, Derma E, Sun & Earth Natural Hypoallergenic Fabric Softener Sheets & cleaning products, Juice Beauty, EcoSimple, Yes To, Le Labo, Nae, Angela & Roi, Indie Lee, Climashield®, Animal Behavior, PrimaLoft, Acure Organics, Billy Jealousy, Ramtex, Farmacy, Consinee Group (TopLine/Ningbo Textile), S. W. Basics, Renewtex, Ruggero Rossi (Rossi Lorenzo e Figli Srl), Nature’s Gate, Pure by Ami McKay, New Life, Unifi Manufacturing Inc., Singtex, Hemp Traders, Uğurteks, Shahlon Silk Industries, Viesso, Foss Manufacturing, Edoardo Miroglio (EM), Eco Balanza, Majilite, Tokyo Bags, Pacifica, Zhejiang Jinyonglai Trade Co. Ltd., Shea Moisture, DONGLIM, Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics, Avalon Organics, Arctic Fox, Eco-Dent, Oz Naturals, Dragon Textile, Arbonne, Korres, March Textile, Body Crystal of California, Cisco Home, NatureWorks LLC, Desert Essence, One Love Organics, GEO/Watermelon Red Textile, Q Collection, Faux England, Sibu, Modern Minerals, Aromi, Pacifica, Gruppo Cinque, Nip + Fab, Method - Fabric Softener (liquid), Beauty Without Cruelty, Sam’s Natural Birch Tar Soap, Novacas, OSEA, Unifi Manufacturing Inc., Tenbro, Whole Foods Market 2X Concentrated Laundry Detergent, Nature Clean Laundry Liquids, Beyond Skin, Bare Bones Body Care, Saintyear Holding Group, Thinsulate, Ekla Home, Hello Products, SoapBox, MuLondon Organic, Radius, Aubrey Organics, Palacek, Matt & Nat, Nourish Organic, The Honest Co., Camina Leggero, Sparklehearts, PrimaLoft®, Lee Industries, Ecover Fabric Softener (liquid), ColorProof Evolved Color Care, Goop, Paula’s Choice, NCLA, Corkor, Emani, Vaute, e.l.f., Tom’s of Maine, Trader Joe’s Vegan bar soaps, Earth Mama Angel Baby, Per-fékt Beauty, Pure & Gentle Anti-Allergen Laundry Detergents, Farm Sanctuary, Freedom of Animals, Hugo Naturals, Gunas, Herban Cowboy, Shartex International Trading Co. Ltd., Sparitual, Forever New Liquid Fabric Care Wash, Every Man Jack men’s self-care products, Hipsters for Sisters, Sibu Beauty, Wild Soap Bar, Indosole, dermadoctor, Lee Coren, Native Shoes, Drunk Elephant, Mukti Organics, Kunshan Insung Plush Co. Ltd, Robert Craymer, . Puracy Natural Laundry Detergent, Pammies, The Fanciful Fox, Sustain, Tata Harper, skyn ICELAND, Attitude (liquid) Fabric Softener, Kahina Giving Beauty, Radical Skincare, Tom’s of Maine, Rodial, Faux furs from (Stella McCartney, Shrimps, Ralph Lauren, and Calvin Klein), https://www.veganmainstream.com/2011/01/19/vegan-professionals-building-a-sustainable-future/ , adopting from animal shelters, etc, etc, etc…

For today’s vegans that are craving meats and dairy (Or those that are curious), it may still be a little while yet, but were getting there (Scientists have already created bacon and hamburger meat from a harmless procedure of taking stem cells from said creatures, plus a lab created pizza that can be custom made to fit a persons daily nutritional needs while still tasting delicious, aaand researchers at Oregon State University were pleasantly surprised to find that, after working two decades with a seaweed species bred to feed abalone, they discovered that they were actually dealing with a delicious seaweed superfood called dulse that tastes like bacon when it’s fried).

Non vegan sustainability options - Feel free to correct me if any of this is incorrect, it was very, very difficult for me to find and I tried to insure that it was accurate + I left my old thoughts here too as they are all part of the journey:

The first one - the 7.5bil people scenario (If almost everyone to everyone is on board) is truly cruelty free, and you will see why after this paragraph - Hopefully : My little blurb before the list: From the middle of 2017 then doing more then enough to became an expert Flexitarian starting March 6th 2018, but I will never, ever, go to any levels below that, never, and here’s why (Just to give fair warning, these 2 videos are very, and I mean very graphic/real/powerful/Informative/etc to say the least, and they are true eye openers - As for the second one, it is a short 67second clip of deep spiritual proportions - the icing on the cake and you may want to turn the volume up on that one as it is rather low - oh, and a tasty little tidbit for all you fellow youtubers out there - While you are watching a video on youtube, you can cause that video to automatically loop and you can set it to do so at whatever part of the vid you want by changing “www.youtube.com” to “www.youtubeloop.net” (Again, while you are already watching that vid on youtube) - The vid will loop automatically right off the bat after entering it either once or twice as sometimes it does not register the first time, and there are 2 orange arrows below the vid that you can use to keep looping whatever part you want - Works for all youtube vids):

1)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDudVDdsS10

2)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw0xpEYWweY

When I was completely meat, dairy and harmful ingredients free I had no meat/dairy/etc (Just the rare mistake/error though). Anyways, after doing some research on how much dairy and meat products would be humanly available per person if nearly everyone or everyone in the world were to become vegan/humane as an expert Flexitarian could have that stat if said scenario happened - the 7.5bil people one (Animals dying of natural causes/etc and humanly keeping natures balance in cheque and so on). Once I got my answer, since I like to try and live my life in a theoretical world that is (As far as I am concerned) doing things right, I am going to consider treating myself every now and again, once I get my answer (Such as, a massive “pig"out of beef rice with extra beef and sweet and sour spear ribs and sweet and sour chicken balls twice a year (Roughly 36grams per sweet and sour chicken ball, roughly 21grams/small-37grams/large per sweet and sour spear rib) - Birthday and new years - who knows, maybe I’ll be able to have a few more sides of whatevs as well with this scenario in mind + 1 slice of bacon is around 25grams so I’ll have a few slices of that on special occasions also:)

Well, it’s quite amazing really. If everyone (Or close to it) became vegan now or in the not too distant future, and made their yards/properties bee friendly, if a fair number of families had lets say 2 hens each (Which could be done, especially with today’s methods/feeds/etc - The average hen can produce 1 egg roughly every 26 hours, sometimes taking 2-3 days for an egg, and although they do eat meat, love insects and mice/etc, they can still get all their proteins/etc from specialised plant feeds - The egg production can be reduced to around 80-150/year if balances are off and result in health problems and for temperatures, lighting, whether/etc), and made the available land/earth nature friendly and the likes, leaving the areas that had or still have rich enough diversity/etc alone. The estimates say that this would be possible for each person on earth to do without causing harm to the environment, or suffering to creatures/etc (Also keeping into account having enough of the carnivores/etc in the food chain to keep things healthy all around).

What would be allowed/humane with letting all the creatures live full wonderful lives with the best feeds/etc, only being put down before their time if they are too injured/etc.                                                                                                      - (100% Meat/best of the best, same for everything else, meat or otherwise, no fillers, growth hormones, crap, and, um, well, crap/etc - The kinds of animals raised in this scenario are the kinds that will allow us to still have the products that we are familiar with but many made with different meats, to have the most meat with the least imprint - meat that is still delicious of course). Also taking into account there being far, far less waste like the outrageous amount of good food and drinks that are tossed and left to go bad when not selling + other reasons (This, people should be protesting in mass about, and putting an end to it) - Anyways, these stats are of a truly humane scenario per person with a 7.5 bil population if every last solitary person on earth did this with everything being balanced, also abandoning the previously rich areas, allowing all of the previously cut forests (that are used for non vegan food and foods in areas that were once forests/etc) that either still do or once sustained good enough to truly incredible diversity (Which is pretty much every forest/ecosystem that ever was) to be reborn/etc with us helping them out, and letting nature do what it should to make them great again and maximizing good use of the earth, ghost towns, etc, etc, etc, all land cleaned up and used properly, proper structures around the world/etc with a super healthy planet, super rich diversity, lots of forests and the whole works in all the best places - Possibly even more then what is listen below:

-Around 1½-5 pounds of non cattle and non sheep meat a year (Depending on what larger non cattle/sheep creatures you consume, including chickens & turkey) if you include having a little under a ½ pound of cattle a year (Sheep is said to be a bit worse for the environment, but I can’t find exacting stats on this). Although unknown, including rats, mice, rabbits the total can be quite a bit higher, especially if you also include insects (Interesting fact: Like good wine the taste of animals improves with age, so the older they are before they die, regardless as to whether or not they have lost body mass/etc, the tastier they will be, that is of course meat from old animals that had all the best foods/environments/no alterations/etc, and have been processed right after or soon enough after death, these meats being coveted amongst the elite) and the amount of feed and negative impact on the environment when there’s too many of them would also mean less of them to keep a global eden in cheque - People have the potential to keep on making this world far, far richer/better/etc then it has even been). [Rabbits, mice and rats alone would increase the total)/etc or any other smaller critters, including mice/rats (Despite the myths and stereotypes, they are actually quite sanitary and can make great pets) and all other smaller ones, even insects/etc that can eat more then just a small amount of meat/etc, so if all that was takin’ into account, then who knows what the total would be!!].

-2-3 extra large chicken eggs/week - The average hen will produce about 265 eggs in a year. Most hens have two productive years of egg laying then taper off as they age (Top 10 best egg laying hens are: Golden Comet & other hybrids, Rhode Island Red, Leghorn, Sussex, Plymouth Rock, Ancona, Barnevelder, Hamburg, Marans & Buff Orpington) - Like cats and many other animals when their “owners” are knowledgeable enough about them, treat them well/give them a good life, they make for excellent pets and when taken care of as part of the family. On average hens will live for around 8-12 years (Sometime around 20+), and they will lay eggs whether they are mated with a cock/rooster or not, and be sure to use Backyard Vegetarian Layer Mash or other organic/vegan based feeds, ones that will meat, er, sorry, meet all of their nutritional needs/etc. Caring, less stress, good environments/conditions more often then not also leads to better/more eggs. Egg sizes for stores (Super Jumbo 77g/2.75oz or more, Jumbo 70g/2.50oz, Extra Large 63g/2.25oz, Large 56g/2.00oz, Medium 49g/1.75oz, Small 42g/1.50oz, Peewee 35g/1.25oz, Petite peewee 28g/1.00oz or less).

-37-48 grams of solid milk Chocolate worth/week (If you eat these or other stuff with milk/bars and still drink milk just subtract the total of said item from the milk you drink as well). I will have some chocolate for Easter (A solid milk chocolate bunny around 120grams), Thanksgiving (2 small chocolate Turkeys totalling around 50grams or less), Birthday (McCain chocolate cake) & Christmas (A Terry’s chocolate orange). Every now and again a chocolate bar. Note for bars, make sure there’s no butter, Milk fat, cream in the ingredients list, but having cocoa butter is good to go, I like big turk bars - They have a chocolate coating, that way, getting lots more bar, meaning lots more yum.

-W/O chocolates (Just milk), around 57ml of milk each week (I won’t drink any "around 57ml/week, what’s the point, the rest of it would just end up going baaaaaahd, besides, unless there was enough people drinking it - lolz”, besides, I’ve actually grown quite fond of the chocolate soy silk anyways (The kinds with 7grams of plant protein per 250ml), but I do incorporate milk into other products that use it - chocolate bars almost always have around 12%-15% of it’s weight in milk - On average 1kg of chocolate cake has around 190ml of milk anywhere from 140ml-200ml of either butter “any cakes with butter, well, it takes 21lbs of milk to get enough of the fat to make 1lb of butter, so, um, nope, not worth it” [Butters & milks lb and ml wise is pretty much the same, but cream I am not so sure of, it depends on how thick/creamy/etc it is (Will update further if I find out), or vegetable shortening - Also ⅔ milk + ⅓ butter makes most average creams (Other ratios for thin to thick/etc)].

-Honey (Stats unknown but expected to be crazily minute), so the occasional feeds of Maple syrup it is. With a bee friendly world each person may be able to have their share of honey every now and again too though, but it’s hard to say (Like fish, in today’s world it is truly at crisis points, each bee only produces like 1/12 teaspoon of honey in it’s lifetime and it is only really humane to take honey from abandoned hives - don’t know about you but when I was a kid and teen it was common place to see several bees through the summer, but now I consider it lucky if I see about 10/year - F*** you Monsanto!!). (According to USDA reports, 2.77 million honey-producing colonies in 2016 generated 161.8 million pounds of raw honey).

-Fish (Stats unknown), a no go for me anyways due to how devastated the ocean/aquatic life/system currently is, cause we need it where if we all did such and such, things can still become paradise (for realz), live it, will it to the cosmos, project it, believe it, ee-dawn baby.

Also, for 9bil people, sustainability of meat (Same as above with 100% Meat/best of the best/etc) - Still having a really healthy planet with great diversity, plenty of forests/etc (These stats do however max out the taking/use of milk and although still very kind, they will still lead great lives but with an expiration date (When they are just old enough to make for good meat) as these stats are less generous on the types of creatures raised for meat (Based on the average percentiles of the creatures Americans consume), still making then viewed as things, and these stats allow for more production of cocoa/ingredients for chocolate), still giving these creatures good healthy lives with pretty much all the best:

Based on a world population of 9 billion, which assumes that animals are only allowed to graze on grasslands and fed by-products not related to soy, maize or other artificial feeds, still keeping all the areas where there were once forests with the exceptions of allowing the richest of forests/environments to regrow, heal/etc, and the figure they came up with was 26 grams of meat, per person, per day. For meat solely from ruminants the figure was 19 grams. 1½ large eggs pp/pd. Plus 138 grams of milk pp/pd. 57grams of solid milk chocolate pp/pd (138grams minus the milk chocolate).

So, I got thinking to myself, why should I deny myself all this just because most or all of humanity isn’t vegan (At least not yet), or deny myself of many things that a fair number of people don’t or can’t have or aren’t using properly/etc because of the flawed system/etc, if people don’t change, then the same result will happen.

I can easily be called a hypocrite or callous for this by some, or possibly even many since the world is not like this (The 7.5bil scenario), at least not yet, but on the flip side, this could convince much more people to be far friendlier in the world the way it actually is now making it even more likely for the 7.5 bil dream scenario to occur, and if anything, this will show that the world can still have it all, if done right (…don’t…let..stuff…goo…too…waste…) you know, life your life the way you want it to be lived and try to project that energy/logic into the cosmos, live in the world you want to see/live in - one that can still become a reality - feel/live that life, project that life - project that satisfaction - believe it is reality now :)

So, anyways, I can still have a cake for my birthday (No butter, cream, if possible to find) and have a slice or two of cake from everyone elses birthday too, I can still have ice cream…er…in my dreams {1 litre of “real” ice cream contains 250ml of whole milk (Straight from animal-min to no processing) or butter milk and 250ml of heavy cream with 4 egg yolks [2 full eggs (yolks and whites) can be used but the flavour will have less richness]} then too and treat myself to it every now and again as well (Same with chocolate), all that will mean is that I will not be able to actually drink any milk (Again, what would even be the point), but that’s okay, cause I still like my subs anyways :)

I am sooooo looking forward to turkey for thanksgiving (With gravy), and every now and again a nice feed of liver & onions with the occasional Maple-leaf Vienna sausages too, just to name a few things (Make sure your adding it all up though :)

BTW, I’ve heard that rats and mice actually taste so chose to chicken that it is hard to tell the difference. Sheep meet (This review was given by an anonymous expert food critic) is said to have a richer flavour with added tastes of campfire, mushrooms, nuts, a bit of a wine like flavour with some kick to it, a hint of a butter-like taste, and kind of an earthly flavour that is relatively close to a mixture of liver and iron. It is said to often be a bit of a shock to the system at first but is very tasty once one gets use to it. As for dogs, they sound absolutely delicious, tasting like a cross between extra flavourful/rich beef and mutton (Another word for sheep flesh/meat) with added extra meaty flavouring, that cooked dog meat is actually delicious with a unique/strong meaty/fragrant mouthwatering aroma. Frogs, the flavour and texture are supposedly mild and extremely agreeable. No strong odours, no strange aftertaste, they say if you tell people they are eating premium farm raised birds that have been dunked for a while in fishy seawater, with having a bit of that taste to them, that they will believe you. Cat supposedly taste like a cross between chicken (White meat only) and frog.

Lastly, science is already able to make clones and as for bringing back extinct species of flora and fauna, even making Pokemon (lolz), eternal youth, everything worthwhile being far superior and new additions/senses/abilities, immortality with being far, far superior to the DS9 changelings/etc, who know what the future will hold, but if we don’t have enough resources left to get to any number of infinite wonders beyond wonders, well, I would hate to think of such a scenario.

[keijay-blog]

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The Ultimate Pecan Pie Bar Recipe

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Shortcut Coconut-Pecan Chocolate Tassies

You can garnish these cookies with pecan halves or a couple of chocolate chips before baking, or drizzle with a little melted chocolate after taking them out of the oven. —Deb Villenauve, Krakow, Wisconsin

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Caramel-Pecan Apple Pie

You’ll love the smell in your kitchen—and the smiles on everybody’s faces—when you make this scrumptious caramel apple pie recipe. It takes me back home to Virginia and being at my granny’s table. —Jean Castro, Phoenix, Arizona

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Pecan Pie Bars

These pecan pie bars are rich and delicious – just like pecan pie! They’re perfect for taking to potlucks and other gatherings…I always come home with an empty pan. —Carolyn Custer, Clifton Park, New York

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Chocolate Pecan Pie Snack Mix

My crowd-pleasing party mix is buttery, chocolaty and nutty. The recipe yields a party-size portion, but I recommend keeping it covered so it doesn’t disappear before the event. —Annette Niemiec, Scottsdale, Arizona

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Pecan Pie Mini Muffins

While these are delicious year-round, you could easily turn them into an edible Christmas gift. They look festive on a decorative tray wrapped in red or green cellophane or tucked into a giveaway cookie plate. And don’t forget to include the recipe so your recipient can enjoy this treat over and over again! —Pat Schrand, Enterprise, Alabama

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Buttermilk Pie with Pecans

Branch out from the usual pecan pie with a creamy-crunchy version that comes out of the oven golden brown. Big slices are even better with a dollop of whipped cream.—Kathy Harding, Richmond, Missouri

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Honey Pecan Cheesecake

Birthdays and holidays are great times for cheesecake, and Christmas is ideal for this particular one. In our annual church bake-off, it won first place! —Tish Frish, Hampden, Maine

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Pecan Butter Tarts

I searched for the perfect butter tart for ages. After many attempts, I discovered this favorite that begs for a scoop of ice cream on top. —Susan Kieboam, Streetsboro, Ohio

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Cherry Chocolate Pecan Pie

I’m a pie baker and this is one my family frequently requests. With the brandy infused cherries and chocolate chips, it’s an awesome twist on a pecan pie.—Sonya Labbe, Santa Monica, California

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Caramel-Pecan Pumpkin Pull-Aparts

We love sticky buns made with my husband’s angel biscuit dough, caramel and pecans. For a twist, try apple butter or applesauce instead of the pumpkin. —Carolyn Kumpe, El Dorado, California

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Ultimate Chocolate Chunk Pecan Pie

Our family hosts an annual barn party for our close friends, complete with a pie cook-off. A few years ago, this recipe won first prize! —Janice Schneider, Kansas City, Missouri

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Honey Pecan Triangles

I’ve been stirring up batches of these tasty bar cookies for many years, and they’re a big hit wherever I share them. The bars have all the goodness of pecan pie and are so easy to serve to a crowd. —Debbie Fogel, East Berne, New York

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Maple Pecan Pie

Our Vermont maple syrup can’t be beat, and this is one of my favorite pies. It’s also quick and easy to make.—Mildred Wescom, Belvidere, Vermont

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Chocolate Pecan Pie Bars

These yummy pecan bars start with a homemade pastry crust and pile on lots of semisweet chocolate. They’re perfect for a holiday bake sale or casual get-together.—Heather Biedler, Martinsburg, West Virginia

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Buttermilk Pecan Pie

This is the treasured “Golden Oldie” that my grandmother made so often whenever we’d come to visit. Grandma grew her own pecans, and we never tired of cracking them and picking out the meat when we knew we’d be treated to her special pie! —Mildred Sherrer, Fort Worth, Texas

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Caramel Pecan Shortbread

My grandchildren look for Grandma’s “candy bar cookies” every Christmas. I recommend doubling the recipe for these sweet treats because they go so fast. —Dorothy Buiter, Worth, Illinois

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Texas Pecan Pie

I won a blue ribbon for this pie at the Texas State Fair. In the military for over 20 years, I didn’t really start cooking until after I retired. Now I enjoy spending my time in the kitchen.—Michelle Shockley, Wichita, Kansas

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Maple Pecan Tarts

I absolutely love pecans. I combine them with maple and vanilla to create the ultimate tart, made even richer with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. —Redawna Kalynchuk, Barrhead, Alberta

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Raisin Pecan Pie

I remember my Grandmother Voltie and Great-Aunt Ophelia making this southern-style pie for Thanksgiving. It was always one of the many cakes and pies lined up for dessert. —Angie Price, Bradford, Tennessee

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Pumpkin Pie Tartlets with Maple Pecan Crust

After discovering I had multiple food sensitivities, I began developing holiday recipes that would be safe for me, but enjoyable for others, too. These tarts are delicious—with no gluten, eggs or dairy! —Chantale Michaud, Guelph, Ontario

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Coconut Pecan Pie

We top this with sliced bananas, whipped cream and more sliced bananas. It’s based on a recipe my mom got from a pot holder she bought at the Patti’s 1880s Settlement in Grand Rivers, Kentucky. —Jennifer Choisser, Paducah, Kentucky

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Pecan Pie Bars for a Crowd

I love to cook large quantities and do most of the cooking for our church functions. People seem to enjoy these scrumptious bars even more than pecan pie. —Clara Honeyager, North Prairie, Wisconsin

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Caramel Pecan Pie

This is hands down the best pecan pie—it’s so good, it’s scary! I’m making it for Thanksgiving because there will be others around to share it with me. Here’s the trick: Toss the bag of caramels to your kid or spouse and promise they can eat whatever is left after they unwrap your 36 caramels. —Larry Crowder, Grand Blanc, Michigan

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Pumpkin Pie Bars

These bars taste like a cross between pumpkin pie and pecan pie—yum! If you can’t find butter cake mix, yellow cake mix works. —Sue Draheim, Waterford, Wisconsin

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Honey Pecan Pie

Looking for a sweet ending to a special meal? This attractive pecan pie is bound to please with its traditional filling and honey-glazed pecans. —Cathy Hudak, Wadsworth, Ohio

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Caramel Pecan Cheesecake

I created this creamy cheesecake using two favorites—caramel and pecans. It’s a stunning cake that rivals any I’ve tasted. —Deidre Sizer, Cedarville, Ohio

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Velvety Chocolate Butter Pecan Pie

Serious dessert lovers go nuts over this one that combines the best of two classics: pecan pie and chocolate pie. Bittersweet chocolate tames the sweetness and adds a richness that is simply irresistible. —Helen Fields, Springtown, Texas

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Toffee Pecan Bars

Curl up with a hot cup of coffee and one of these treats. The golden topping and flaky crust give way to the heartwarming taste of old-fashioned pecan pie. —Dianna Croskey, Gibsonia, Pennsylvania

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Pecan Pie Thumbprints

A good buttery dough and nutty filling take time to make, but the results are so worth it. After munching on a few, I think you’ll agree.— Peggy Key, Grant, Alabama

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Molasses-Bourbon Pecan Pie

Guests’ mouths water when they glimpse this southern charmer. Its flaky crust perfectly complements the rich, nutty filling. —Charlene Chambers, Ormond Beach, Florida

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Berry Nut Tarts

Cranberries are a delicious addition to this spin on individual pecan pies. Folks have a hard time eating only one. —Lena Ehlert, Vancouver, British Columbia

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Li’l Pecan Pies

These tempting little tarts have all the rich traditional taste of a full-size pecan pie in a much smaller package. The tarts are perfect for two. —Christine Boitos, Livonia, Michigan

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Salted Pecan Shortbread Squares

My shortbread squares are the ultimate go-to for cookie trays and gift-giving. The buttery caramel and toasted nuts make it a tough to eat just one. —Diana Ashcraft, Monmouth, Oregon

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Bourbon Chocolate Pecan Pie

When my fiance first made this chocolate bourbon pecan pie for me, I declared it to be the best pie ever! Creamy chocolate combines with crunchy nuts in a great, gooey filling. —Tanya Taylor, Cary, North Carolina

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Pecan Tassies

These tarts are very good for parties and special occasions. You’ll probably want to double the recipe, because they’ll disappear in a hurry! —Joy Corie, Ruston, Louisiana

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Chewy Pecan Pie Bars

This is one of my husband’s favorite recipes, and he suggested I send it in to your contest. I’ve been making it for many years. —Judy Taylor, Shreveport, Louisiana

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Cranberry Pecan Pie

I first prepared this pie at Thanksgiving to share with my co-workers. It was such a success! Now I freeze cranberries while they are in season so that I can make it year-round. —Dawn Liet Hartman, Mifflinburg, Pennsylvania

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