#i had to turn it black and white and rearrange and remove some gifs but i think i finally am getting it to post

[perths]

[veryflirtytransportalate]

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I have made fistfuls of progress! I met the Railroad, I got that thing Virgil asked for, and Preston is still waiting on me to get back to him about those guys I helped, which I will totally eventually do. Yup, things are really clicking into place for ol' Sizzel, so it was time to upgrade the banner.

I think people are starting to recognize that my allegiances lie predominantly with the Minutemen, but no one has as of yet ascertained that the Preston Patrol are a cover for my dreams of total economic domination. Everything I purchase, I purchase with hundreds of bottles of purified water, and nobody seems to mind that weird metallic aftertaste.

I have yet to meet The Institute everyone speaks so fondly about, although I'm practicing for when I do: I've been going to Nuka-World and swallowing the intense desire to remove everyone in the entire vicinity from existence. I imagine these skills are going to come in handy whenever somebody at the Institute becomes so stupid that they think they can enlist me into their dumb operation. Literally every organization I run into does it at some point... except for Diamond City where I should be mayor, godfunkingdammit. I'm 99% sure that both Nuka-World and the Institute will fall by my hand, but I'm willing to let it play out a little bit.

Deacon is embarrassing to be around. Not that I'm not, but, he is. I have to admit, I sort of enjoy his jovial attitude and desire to method act a spy thriller. That's at least less embarrassing than role playing as knock off Batman, and I spent like three days doing that. Respect, Deacon.

(My rambling thoughts about the Railroad and how I'd rewrite everything below, including how Tinker Tom would be a Minuteman.)

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I usually ramble and rewrite the game below the cut anyway, but today is especially rambly, and especially rewrite-y. Also FUNK the Tumblr app, making me post this at 9 AM when it was SCHEDULED for 3:30 PM. 😤👿😤

The second thing I hate is the hands on the synth in the first picture, I had absolutely no idea, but without access to software there was nothing I could do about it. C'est la vie.

I've recently been playing a lot of my second save, which is a Survival run that I play entirely in black and white, so expect to see pictures of that in the future. I don't think anybody reads any of this part, so if you are, you get a little preview, as my thank you for reading the part where I just ramble about whatever I want and I don't have to commit to any kind of storytelling.

I don't dislike Deacon as much as I dislike McGravy but I don't like Deacon all that much either. I do appreciate that he is injecting some much-needed levity into the proceedings. The waste land is an absolute hellscape, and this dude just straight up didn't get the memo. He was written and voice acted and directed and animated to be the wacky one. I feel like a lot of people in the Fallout 4 development team thought they were making "the wacky one", unaware that many of their co-workers were also making, "the wacky one". I don't understand the Railroad at all, they have this dramatic the lights turn on and they're all wielding high-powered weaponry moment, like out of an anime, but this should have been the one faction that they treated with the most severity. Considering the real world connection that they're trying to make here? This would have been the perfect place to juxtapose thoughtful realism with the bombastic and horrifying world, not the place to introduce somebody surreal and comedic like Tinker Tom. Tinker Tom should have been a Concord/Sanctuary person, especially because Sturges has this flipped up hair cocky attitude situation going on, and that's basically what Deacon, Glory, and Desdemona eat, drink, and breathe.

I'm just kind of freeballing this right now but: I don't know if the characters are all that much bad as they are misplaced. Let's do some dramatis personae rearranging. Mama Murphy should totally be in Goodneighbor. Absolutely ridiculous that Goodneighbor does not have all of the super fun-loving wacky chem affiliated weirdos, and Mama Murphy is a textbook wandering oracle stereotype with a white wash, she'd fit in great there.

Swap Tinker Tom and Sturgis. I haven't considered that fully but that just seems like one too many mechanical people since we want TT in the Minutemen, and I think Tinker Tom should take the role of the wacky one that Mama Murphy was filling in the Concord/Sanctuary group. Imagine that Preston is trying to be serious and solve the problem but that gets undercut when Tinker Tom has a solution that actually would be very helpful and is well considered, but is rooted in this ridiculous technological background that nobody else can follow and unless he can teach everybody advanced engineering really fast this might not be the best plan ever. You ever see the new She-Ra? Entrapta and Adora. I can't think of any other examples at this moment, but I think dramatically the broad and overall heroic goals of the Minutemen provide a more cohesive framework for slightly more exaggerated or expressive characters, and the Railroad should have been a faction that presented a straightforward and grounded objective and methodology.

This is fun, I'm going to keep going, but I can't stress how winged this is, I'm not even going to spell check this, so if you've made it this far, congratulations, you've seen the breakdown of all logic for me at this point.

Dr Li was really humanity focused in Fallout 3*, so her joining The Institute doesn't make any sense to me. She bangs on the doors of the whatever building to get in, she advocates for saving an individual who is a detriment to the survival of the group, and she does so in a, "I will not be accepting contrary suggestions because this is how we're doing it," kind of way. Like she wouldn't hear that the Institute are boogeyman? That she what, got kidnapped by them and just rolled with it like Sean did? Ridiculous. And all of the questions raised by this plot thread aren't fun, and wouldn't be fun to explore and answer. I would take Dr. Li and have her start off in Diamond City, at that same science school place where the girlfriends are. And just like before she can get recruited into the Brotherhood of Steel, and just like in the base game, it will be extremely disappointing that you can't recruit her to any faction that you want.

You know what this isn't even related to switching anybody but I would also rewrite it that instead of having the courser go after a synth that we've never heard of and will never hear from again while we fight gunners to get to them, the courser should have been targeting a synth super mutant at the top of the tower because it would have been a nice storytelling moment where we see that the Institute is aware that Virgil looks like a super mutant now and is taking active efforts to deduce where he has escaped to, and also validates Virgil trusting us, a stranger, because he can see the writing on the wall that is hiding strategy isn't going to work forever, and would have also tied in that big tower where Strong is located, and like Faux (sp??) in Fallout 3, we'd be able to collect a companion if we wanted to while on the critical story path, which is always really fun, and also it would dramatically escalate the stakes because you would see that the Institute is not just replacing people in communities with synths, but that they have started to place agents in positions within super mutant communities in the area as well, which is equal parts disgusting because the Institute villainizes super mutants as subhuman, but also terrifying because it truly represents that the Institute can get a version of anyone anywhere at any time, and also there should have been random events where the Institute sends a one-to-one clone of the player to kill the player, I don't know if that happens maybe it happens later in the game and I just never got to it, okay my fiance just came home with quesadillas and nachos and said I'm allowed to have some I'm going downstairs goodbye.

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*I'm coming back later to say that I was watching a video and somebody was describing a theory about Catherine from point lookout being Catherine the mom, and they listed some of the things Dr Lee had done, including driving Pinkerton into hiding, not being willing to cooperate with the Brotherhood of Steel at all, and argued that she was a narcissist. I could sort of see the logic in their argument, that she had a pattern of non-cooperation and that cooperation required that she be placed in a high level position, but I just don't know if I agree that that behavior wasn't in some ways justifiable. I would need to do more digging into who Pinkerton was in Fallout 3 to know whether or not it was justifiable that she didn't want to work with him, but at the same time, regardless of his involvement, she's a high-level administrator by trade, it seems to be what she excels at. I would believe if she was saying no, this is not a format of work that I really consent to or feel like I can thrive under, and her departure from the Brotherhood of Steel had more to do with organizational differences, which makes sense because they're an extremely militaristic and self-aggrandizing organization, I remember starting the DLC for the first time, broken steel, and being somewhat surprised at the total control the Brotherhood of Steel took over project purity. But that's exactly what they do, is exert control over these kinds of technological programs. Lots of people have an objection to that aspect of the brotherhood, so why be so judgmental over Dr Lee if she had the same impression and chose to withdraw her participation, knowing that the Brotherhood was committed to the free distribution of this resource, which was her ultimate goal in the first place! Complicated, very complicated, and if nothing else I wanted to make clear that my original assessment of her felt somewhat oversimplified after learning more about her. Also I wrote this entire thing using voice to text, because I was busy doing dishes, so if it doesn't make sense in certain parts, I hope you can deduce what I'm trying to say, because I don't have time to go back and fix it.

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Thirty Three

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 8.8k+ (DANG IT! I tried not writing as much... Ah well.)

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, PTSD moments, smut...ish more mentions of?

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias

This Part: A week before the surgery and Emma sees Alistair for an appointment.

Ek! So close! Please, please, please, let me know you thoughts and opinions. I literally have no anons 😅 @aznblossom thank you for always leaving a comment!

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom

A Week Before The Surgery

Emma’s feet pound the pavement as she runs along the waterfront by the city, with Robyn’s partly completely album blaring in her ears.

Emma can’t help but feel pride with how good everything sounds as she passes unsuspecting members of the public. Weaving around the couples and families going for a gentle stroll in the warm April, Saturday sun.

Her face starts to feel slightly uncomfortable from the sweat rolling down her face. The face modifier causing a strange sensation and a tightness due to her heated skin. After finding this happening whenever she exercises with the modifier on, Winn and Brainy decide to develop a new model, one that will  hopefully be more lightweight and comfortable for the wearer. Including more options and will be able to change the wearer's hair and colour.

But, Emma hopes the time will come soon where Lucy gives her the go ahead where she won’t have to wear it anymore. By Doctor Hamilton’s assessment it should be another month or two before that can happen.

Emma had ventured out without it on, but that was under Lucy’s strict orders and guidance. The lawyer had organised a little outing where Emma sat in a wheelchair with a nasal cannula, giving the impression she was getting oxygen and sat with her sisters at Noonan’s. Bruises and prosthetics were applied around her face and neck to create the illusion that Emma was still healing.

Emma did query whether it would be a good idea but she had been reassured it was. Emma even asked if she still needed the prosthetics but Doctor Hamilton explained that with the severity of the trauma done to her body, she suspects the swelling would have stayed around longer than normal.

As soon as Alex rolled Emma through the restaurant's doors it spread like wildfire that Emma was out in public. Social Media lapped it up and soon a crowd of paparazzi, well wishers and fans gathered outside the restaurant. Emma stiffly waved and played her part but was grateful when they left and she could get rid of the itchy makeup and prosthetics.

Lena was meant to have joined them at the outing, but per usual, Lena had been too busy to attend.

Emma lets out a heavy breath as her heart clenches at the thought of her girlfriend. The Sunday after Nia’s party had been utter bliss with Emma waking up in Lena’s arms. The raven haired beauty had already been awake and kissed Emma’s forehead as she greeted her. The couple then laid there for a while, planting soft kisses on each other's lips until Emma needed to pee. The blonde had come back expecting Lena would want to start the day. However the raven haired beauty had not moved.

“Didn’t you mention about spending the whole day in bed?” Lena asked in a husky voice, dripping in sex. She pulled the covers back and revealed she had removed her pajamas.

Emma didn’t hesitate in flinging off her own clothing and jumping right back into bed. That day had been magical while they moved as one, the feeling of-

Her watch bleeps, pulling Emma out of her thoughts and alerting her to another mile she’s completed and calculating what her pace is. She glances down at it to check but notices the time instead, her eyes widen and immediately she turns towards Alistair's office.

‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Emma screams in her head as she starts running faster and berates herself for being in her own little world. Not realising she had gone further then she originally planned.

Currently she was twenty minutes away from Alistair’s office and her appointment was in ten minutes. She’s going to be late and Emma hates being late. The blonde pumps her arms and wishes she could call out for people to move or apologies when she makes people jump as she sprints past.

Finally Alistair’s building comes into view but Emma doesn’t slow down until she slides in front of the building's door and presses the buzzer four times to alert the alien she has arrived.

“Come on up Emma!” Alistair’s warm voice calls through the speaker and the buzzing of the lock follows, allowing Emma to push the door open.

The blonde races up the stairs two at a time, putting her wireless headphones in their case and turns into the hallway towards Alistair’s office door. Finding that the red headed alien was already standing in the doorway and gently smiling at her.

‘I’m so, so sorry! I’m so late! Time got away from me and-’ Emma’s mind screams out as she quickly approaches the therapist, automatically reaching up and deactivating the modifier.

“Emma, it's okay! You’re actually right on time!”

The blonde halts and frowns, immediately lifting her arm up to look at her watch. She notices the running app is still on and quickly ends the session before looking at the time.

Alistair was correct… She was right on time.

‘Huh… I must have read it wrong.’ Emma muses as she tries to visualise what she saw as she was running.

“Possibly.” Alistair agrees and moves out of the way to let her in.

As soon as she enters the office the patter of paws makes her look up from her watch as Lily excitedly trots over to her.

‘Lily!’ Emma drops to her knees and affectionately strokes under Lily’s chin. The snowy white german shepherd greets her in kind with many licks to her face and arms, lapping up the light sheen of sweat covering them, causing Emma to release a few voiceless laughs.

“She’s always happy to see you.” Alistair says cheerfully and moves towards his chair, motioning for Emma to sit on the sofa.

Straightening up Emma makes her way over with Lily right beside her.

“The water is for you as well. Did you have a good run?” Alistair asks, as Emma sits down, takes her trainers off and sits crossed legged. Lily instantly hops onto the sofa next to her and rests her head on the blonde’s lap.

Emma glances at the coffee table in front of her, on it was a box of tissues, a few books and a glass of water with a lemon slice and a few cubes of ice.

‘Thank you and yes it was good.’ Emma thinks gratefully as she carefully leans forward to get the glass, not wanting to jostle Lily too much. Seeing this, Alistair helps by getting the glass first and holding it out for Emma to take.

“Great and thank you for being willing to move your appointment to today. I am sorry about having to rearrange our time together.” Alistair says sincerely.

‘It’s okay.’ Emma shrugs, she normally sees Alistair during the week. ‘Not like I had much planned for today anyway.’ A small twinge hits Emma’s heart.

“Okay, how’s the last few days been?” Alistair asks as he leans back against the leather armchair and studies her. Emma takes a few gulps of the cool water as she thinks.

‘Yea, it wasn't too bad.’ Memories of the week flashes through her mind, who she saw, the smells, her heart clenching whenever she’d wake up in an empty apartment-

“Ah, I take it Lena is still working a lot?” Alistair asks with a sympathetic smile.

‘Yea.’ Emma answers softly in her mind, her shoulders slump and Lily licks her hand, making the blonde slowly stroke her head. ‘I understand these new investors are important, I know how important her work is but-’ Emma stops her thoughts and looks out of the window at the sea in the distance.

“You miss her.” Alistair finishes for her and Emma lowers her head.

‘Yea.’ Emma thinks weakly and can’t help but visualise their early relationship. How excited Emma was to get back to her hotel room to spend some time with her girlfriend, no matter how exhausted she felt after a gig. ‘I love her so much, I’d give my life for her but I just miss what we had when she wasn’t so busy. I mean we made it work when I was on tour and I’d call her even with the different time zones and it would be early in the morning for me.’

“That is understandable.” Alistair comments as he rests a finger beside his cheek as he ponders what Emma revealed. “You have both been through some major changes. Has she given you a time frame for when things look to be getting back to normal?”

-- -- --

During the week - Lena and Emma’s apartment

Emma checks her phone for the umpteenth time as she gets ready for Lena. On Sunday they had planned to have a date during the week and go out for dinner. Something they haven’t been able to do recently.

Emma voicelessly sighs while putting the finishing touches on her makeup, thankful that her hard work transfers through the modified face.

Standing up from the dressing table the blonde heads towards the walk-in wardrobe and takes the dress, she had spent hours deciding on, off the hanger. The dress was teal coloured, elegantly pleated and Emma had fallen in love with it as soon as she saw it. Also finding she was loving the dress even more when she zipped herself up and admired the way it hugged her toned body. She then steps into her trusted black high heeled shoes and opens her jewelry box.

For a moment she looks for her layered necklace her sisters got her. Only to feel a devastating pang when she remembers Kara crushed it.

‘No… Not Kara.’ Emma shakes her head and closes the lid. She heads out into the living area and glances at her phone again.

No new messages from Lena.

Emma flops onto the sofa, ignoring the dull ache in her head that hasn’t disappeared since leaving the DEO. Naturally when anyone asks her about it the blonde shrugs it off, not wanting to worry her friends and family anymore then she already has.

Laying down on the sofa Emma opens her phone and scrolls through social media to pass the time. She yawns and starts to feel her eyes grow heavy and eventually they close as she falls into a deep sleep.

So deep that even when the apartment door opens and closes, Emma doesn’t stir. Or when heeled shoes click over to her.

What does wake her up is a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Emma jumps, her eyes fly open as she takes a sharp intake of breath.

“Sorry love.” Lena apologises softly and strokes Emma’s cheek with the back of her fingers.

Emma nuzzles her face into Lena’s hand and kisses it before sitting up. Which causes her to become face to face with the raven haired beauty as Lena sat next to the sleeping blonde.

Emma smiles and goes to kiss Lena, until she sees the time on the oven clock. Her eyes widen and she pulls back.

“Em?” Lena pouts at the halted kiss.

“The reservation! We’re late.” Emma moves to jump off the sofa but Lena places a hand on her shoulder, halting her movements.

“I cancelled it.” Lena says hesitantly and Emma blinks at her. “I’m sorry, it got so late and you weren’t answering your phone and-”

Emma places a finger on Lena’s lips, sensing the rising guilt and panic in her girlfriend. Reaching out she unlocks her phone, noticing the messages but instead goes into Hope’s app and turns the lights up from a soft glow.

Lena’s eyes squint at the sudden light and Emma studies her properly.

Despite the make up Lena was wearing, Emma can see the dark circles under her tired, reddened eyes. Emma opens her arms and Lena immediately falls into the hug and kisses her cheek. Slowly Emma leans back into the corner of the sofa, pulling Lena up with her.

“Emma!” Lena giggles and Emma feels Lena settle on top of her and snuggles in. The blonde slowly rubs circles into her girlfriend’s back and eventually feels Lena twitch, signalling she’s fallen asleep.

Carefully grabbing her phone, Emma opens UberEats and decides to get Lena’s favourite food. Seeing that it will be delivered in half an hour, Emma rests her head back against the cushions and enjoys the feeling of holding her girlfriend. Grateful that even though they haven’t gone out on a date, Lena has still come home and given Emma this time with her.

When the food arrives Emma carefully lifts the snoozing CEO off her and quietly runs to the door. But no matter how careful Emma is at keeping quiet, when she turns around Lena is sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Em?” Lena’s husky voice calls out.

Emma lets out a huff of frustration as she wants to tell her dinner is ready. She wants to speak the words of love she is longing to say.

Instead Emma strides over to the sofa and places the bag on the coffee table.

“Hmm, you know me so well.” Lena smirks at the sight of the logo on the bag.

The couple settle on the sofa and listen to a playlist of soft acoustic music as they eat.

“I-” Lena starts and hesitates. Turning her head Emma gazes into regretful green eyes and watches Lena swallow before she continues. “I just want to apologise for ruining our date tonight. Time just got away from me and… there's no excuse.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it's not.” Lena tries to implore Emma to listen. “Just- this won’t be forever. I promise you that. I’m taking time off for the surgery and afterwards to look after you. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been working nonstop, so my sole focus will be on you.” She reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear.

Emma beams at her, taking Lena’s hand and kisses it.

“What have you been working on?” Emma asks and Lena explains the many projects she’s been developing with the investors and her team. Emma’s eyes widen at how complex it all sounds and nods along.

Soon they finish their meal and despite how tired they both are, they head to bed for a different reason than sleep.

-- -- --

Emma comes out of the memory before she shows anything risque to her therapist. But she cannot help but smile softly at the feeling of Lena’s arms wrapped around her.

“Interesting. So there wasn’t a set time frame, just that it won’t be forever?”

‘Yea.’ Emma looks down and runs her fingers smoothly through Lily’s fur.

“Have you tried asking Lena further?”

‘She apologises and says the same thing she’s been saying for a while. Now isn’t forever.’

Alistair nods and looks down at his notes as he jots down a few more. “How are you sleeping?”

Emma hesitates, causing Alistair to look back up at her. Feeling an unease emit from the blonde.

“Emma?” Alistair asks, his eyes imploring her to be truthful with him.

‘I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m finding I-’ Emma pauses, not wanting to admit what's been happening. Taking a deep breath her mind shows him instead. Horrible nightmares that have Emma jumping awake in a panic, drenched in sweat, only to find she is alone in bed.

“You’re still experiencing nightmares?”

Emma nods.

“More than usual, less or about the same?”

‘I-’ Emma lifts her head as she tries to remember. ‘It feels about the same.’

“Okay, that is something that we will still work on and honestly I’m not surprised you are still having them.” Alistair says compassionately, trying to help Emma see she is doing nothing wrong.

“What about your sisters? How are things going with them?”

‘It’s going well. Things almost feel back to normal.’

Emma’s mind brings up the memories of Alex chasing her around the beach, laughing as she tries to catch her until she finally jumps on Emma’s back.

And memories of Kara come forward where she’d fly into the apartment bearing gifts of Emma’s favourite food, like Cadbury chocolates from the UK. The pair would snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film while they gorge on the treats.

‘I know she still feels guilty, but she doesn’t flinch when we hug or touch anymore.’

“That's a good improvement for sure. But it seems Kara is still not as open as Alex yet?” Alistair enquiries, causing Emma to pause as she reflects.

‘No?’ She answers unsure. ‘I mean, Alex still holds back in certain areas. I still catch her looking at me with such a sad expression. They both do.’ Emma plays with her hands as her sisters’ mournful faces fill her mind, that is until Lily nuzzles her nose into her fiddling hands, allowing Emma to stroke her instead. ‘Maybe it's due to Kara’s trauma?’

“Most likely.” Alistair nods in agreement. “The thing is, each of us are different, we have different likes, different dislikes and our brains are wired uniquely. Therefore we can react differently to the same events, depending on who we are.”

Emma nods and rests her head against the back of the sofa as she thinks. ‘That makes sense. So, for Alex, she has trained to be a soldier, her natural instinct is to fight and follow orders. To lead and protect. But for Kara she grew up on another planet, with a particular upbringing, she witnessed that planet being destroyed, all she had known, gone in an instant.’ Emma’s heart pangs in sympathy, remembering how shell shocked Kara had been when Clark brought her to the Danvers. A new family and a new way of life. ‘She had to be so careful, even when walking, to not put her foot through the floorboards or hurt any of us.’

“Like a god among mortals.” Alistair nods in agreement. “From what you’ve told me before, it sounds like fear was instilled in her as soon as she arrived, that she could easily hurt anyone she came in contact with.”

Emma nods.

“So, Kara broke that promise when she hurt you-” Emma immediately interrupts in her mind but Alistair holds his hand up, halting her. “To Kara, she did hurt you and I know you keep repeating that she didn’t, but from Kara’s point of view it was her hand that crushed your neck and broke your bones. She hurt someone she cares deeply about and using the powers she had sworn would protect people.”

Emma lowers her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. Feeling the pounding in her head intensify.

“Like Supergirl, you can’t protect and save everyone.” Alistair says softly, imploring for Emma to understand.

‘I know.’ Emma admits sadly, she feels Lily move and nuzzle her head against Emma’s cheek, as if sensing her pain.

The pair sit in silence for a while. The ticking of the clock being the only noise in the room.

“How are you feeling about the surgery next week?” Alistair looks up at the clock. “You’d have just gone into the theatre.”

‘Honestly, I can’t wait for it.’ Emma thinks softly and the familiar sense of butterflies start fluttering around her stomach.

“How are you feeling about that?”

‘Nervous. Excited. Terrified.’

“Terrified? About the procedure?”

Emma hesitates. Lily, seemingly sensing her tension, lovingly licks Emma’s cheek and nuzzles her head into Emma’s hand. Causing Emma to continue stroking her.

“Emma?”

‘I am terrified about the operation not working, that it's going to make things bad again.’

“How so?”

‘It seems to be a constant reminder when I have to sign or when I go to laugh or make any noise, but all that comes out is breath.’ Emma thinks mournfully and glances out the window, memories of her sisters’ guarded eyes fill her mind. ‘I know this will take time before things can go back to normal. I just don’t want the progress we’ve made to be destroyed because the op didn’t work.’

“And if that happens?”

Emma’s stomach drops at the thought. But her mind focuses on those around her. Her family, friends and Lena. How would they react?

“Emma.” Alistair softly sighs, placing his book on the coffee table and leans forward. “You need to focus on yourself. Which you have been doing and I am pleased with our progress with your PTSD. We both know this isn’t a quick or an easy road. But you need to focus on how you feel about your voice not returning right away or, possibly ever.”

Emma swallows deeply at Alistair’s words, her throat feeling like it’s going to close over. ‘I understand.’

“Good.” Alistair picks his notebook back up and settles back into the seat. “Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”

Emma pauses and focuses on Lily as she runs her fingers through the soft fur.

‘There is something else.’ Emma admits quietly. Almost as if she’s too scared to present it.

“Which is?” Alistair asks kindly, but Emma keeps her mind closed off. “Emma, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to-”

Images start filling his mind, of the world blurring and morphing around Emma. How one second she’s at one end of the apartment and the next she’s at the other end, normally crashing into something or stumbling. How she easily lifts items others seem to struggle with, lifting Lena and Alex like they were light as a feather. Her headaches and heightened senses, especially her sensitive hearing and being able to hear a whisper across a room. How overwhelming the noise can become when she’s in a crowded place.

Alistair also feels fear and confusion pour off the young woman.

“Emma, you have nothing to fear here.” Alistair implores the blonde. “And thank you for showing me. How long have you noticed these- moments?”

‘Only recently when… erm.’ Emma’s cheeks colour in an intense blush as she remembers the moment she heard a crack from the headboard during an intense orgasm on Sunday while she rode Lena’s strap. Looking down she noticed the wood was splintering and cracking under her hands.

Once Lena was asleep Emma had sat up and felt the cracks again. She stayed there for a while as pieces started to click into place. Something was wrong with her.

“Nothing is wrong with you.” Alistair says firmly, his eyes imploring Emma to listen. “Can we test this theory that something is happening to you?” Alistair asks as he straightens up.

Emma nods and watches as he gets up and goes to one of his many bookcases. The redhead picks something up and strides back over to her. In his hand is a small, shiny ball.

“Squeeze this as hard as you can.” Alistair says while handing her the ball and moves her empty glass to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

Lily sits up, intrigued by the object Emma is holding.

‘Okay.’ Emma starts squeezing and applies more and more pressure.

Nothing happens.

“Keep a hold of it but look at me.” Alistair instructs and Emma lifts her eyes and focuses on his kind crystal blue ones.

“Have they gotten any closer to finding those responsible?” Alistair carefully asks, his eyes searching Emma’s hazel green ones.

‘No.’ Emma’s face and eyes darken and she clenches her jaw.

“Are Kara and Alex putting up the right precautions to not get taken again? I imagine they are prime targets as they are close to you? Maybe someone like Winn or Lucy or maybe your Mom or even Lena could be taken next?”

The thought of her family, her friends, her loved ones being forced into what Alex and Kara have already gone through fills Emma with a powerful rage.

She grits her teeth and her hold on the silver ball tightens.

Alistair’s eyes flick down to her hand. “Emma, look.”

The blonde lowers her gaze and gapes at the hand imprint she has made on the now disproportionate ball.

“This is a ball of titanium.” Alistair says as he picks the metal up out of Emma’s hand. “Or was.” He mutters as he turns it around in his hands.

‘What’s happening to me?’ Emma thinks, terrified at what this could mean.

“I don’t know.” Alistair truthfully admits. “Maybe it’s to do with the serum they gave you?”

‘But it was a healing serum? Not a super soldier thing!’ Emma’s mind shouts, her panic starting to build.

“That may be the case, but you need to communicate with Lena, Brainy or Doctor Hamilton about this.”

‘Do I have to?’ Emma apprehensively asks.

“Yes. Because this-” Alistair holds up the distorted piece of titanium. “Is not normal.”

Emma nods but her face scrunches up in emotion.

‘You always like being the center of attention! I hate you!’ Alex’s teenage words scream within Emma’s mind, causing her to hide her head in her hands.

“Emma?” Alistair tilts his head and Lily nuzzles her nose into the side of the blonde’s face.

‘I’m just Emma, plain, simple Emma.’ Her thoughts come out weak and feeble.

“Emma, there is nothing plain or simple about you. You are one of the most talented people I know. Your voice reaches and touches millions of lives and gives them hope.” He says passionately and before Emma can respond a buzzer goes off. “And that’s the end of our session for this week.” He says apologetically. “But we’ve made some really good progress. Emma-” Alistair says to get Emma to look at him. Slowly she lowers her hands and lifts her head. Her eyes swimming in anguish. “I really recommend that you tell someone what is happening. Anyone you feel comfortable sharing with. Maybe Lucy or Sam?” Alistair gently offers. “Just don’t keep this to yourself.”

Emma nods and gets up, making Lily jump off the sofa and trots with her to the door.

“Did you want to meet up on Wednesday like usual? Or did you want to come here on Friday instead?” Alistair offers as he follows behind her with his diary.

‘Yea Wednesday sounds good.’

“Great! I’ll see you then! Have a good weekend and remember what I said.” Alistair opens the door and smiles at her.

Emma nods but feels slightly frustrated that the appointment ended just as they were getting somewhere. She quickly rushes through, feeling like she has more questions than answers.

What’s going on?

Did she have powers?

How could that be?

Over and over these questions cycle through her mind as she makes her way down the stairs.

She passes a mirror and suddenly remembers to put the face modifier on. She chooses the face with the Marilyn Monroe beauty mark that is quickly becoming one of her favourite to use.

As she exits the building Emma starts to get her headphones out and plans a route to run home. That is until a car quickly pulls up beside her and honks loudly. Causing Emma to jump high into the air.

“Get in loser we’re going shopping!” Alex yells across Kara who beams at Emma from the open passenger window.

But the blonde momentarily stays frozen, trying to process what just happened and her sisters’ beaming faces.

“Em?” Kara’s smile fades and a frown replaces it, making Emma quickly open the back door of Alex’s car and dive in.

“Seatbelt.” Alex orders as she turns to study her baby sister. ‘She must have had a hard session.’ Alex thinks and her eyes snap to Kara’s who looks to be thinking the same thing as she bites her lip in worry.

Once Emma is belted in Alex pulls back into traffic. “Hope you didn’t mind us picking you up?” She calls back to Emma and watches her shake her head in the rearview mirror.

Kara twists around so she can see Emma properly. “We thought we could have a sister’s day and have a movie marathon?”

“Sounds good.” Emma signs and tries to smile convincingly.

“Plus it's your turn to choose!” Alex says trying to sound more upbeat than normal and wants to remind Emma. Normally her blonde sister would clap loudly and take a while to choose. Going back and forth between many classics and their favourites. Even discussing pros and cons between the choices she has.

Instead, Emma simply nods in response before gazing out of the window. Making Kara and Alex exchange worried glances as they continue towards Alex’s apartment.

Soon they are parked in Alex's parking space and the sisters get out. Emma goes to walk towards the elevator when Alex stops her.

“Do you mind giving us a hand?” Alex asks while she pops the boot open. Bags upon bags of food are revealed, causing Emma to raise an eyebrow at her sisters.

“I know! I was hungry!” Kara whines and immediately grabs a donut from one of the bags and chomps on it.

“Kara!” Alex yells and swats at her.

“Sorry! Do you want one?” Kara says with her mouth full and offers Alex a donut.

Emma can’t help but smile at the pair and reaches down to take a few bags.

“Wait! Em they are-” Alex pauses as Emma effortlessly lifts them up. “Heavy… Guess not.”

Emma momentarily freezes and remembers what she had Alistair had discussed, instead she shrugs and smiles at the red head instead.

“I got these!” Kara announces and takes the rest.

“You left me with one.” Alex says unimpressed while closing the boot. “Emma, give me a few.”

The blonde looks down and hands her sister the bags full of light goodies.

“I can take a few more.” Alex raises an eyebrow at Emma and holds her hand out. But Emma responds in a shrug and strolls towards the elevator. Alex turns her head towards Kara who repeats Emma’s shrug and follows.

As soon as they enter the apartment Emma places the bags on the island and quickly disengages her face modifier. Silently sighing in relief as she massages her cheeks.

Kara places her bags on the island and pulls out a small USB drive from her jean pocket. “Winn kindly let us borrow his drive with all the films past and present. Wouldn’t let me borrow films of the future though… Especially those based on real events.”

“Wonder why?” Alex laughs and places the last of the bags on the island. She looks to see Emma’s response, but the blonde is too busy unpacking the bags. “Em?”

Hazel green eyes shoot up and an unusual blank look accompanies Emma’s face.

“You okay?” Alex asks with a frown and takes a step towards her baby sister. But Emma takes a step away from her and around the island.

“Can I have a shower? I still feel a bit gross from my run.” Emma signs while barely looking at her sisters.

“Sure! You know you don’t need to ask!” Alex utters and watches Emma nod before zipping into the bathroom.

“Shall I get you some clothes?” Kara calls out while giving Alex a concerned look, the redhead mirrors it with a frown.

Emma pops her head around the door and nods, giving them a grateful smile before quickly disappearing again.

Kara approaches Alex’s closet. “Kara, wait!” Alex yells but the blonde has already opened the door.

“Huh, Alex-” Kara tilts her head and slowly turns back to her sister. “Why are most of your clothes not in your closet?”

“Er, laundry day?” Alex says not too convincingly and can tell by Kara’s face, she doesn’t believe her.

“That’s a question.” Kara places a hand on her hip and studies the redhead.

“Okay I can explain, but I want to tell both of you. Together.”

“Okay.” Kara grins at her sister and turns back to the closet to find something for Emma to wear.

“There should be a bag of Em’s things by the right?” Alex says while getting glasses and bowls for the drinks and snacks for the marathon.

“Found it!” Kara hollers, takes the bag out and places it on the bed. She opens it and tries to find the comfiest clothes for Emma to wear.

“Do you need any help?” Kara asks after getting Emma’s things ready.

“Can you move these to the coffee table please?” Alex asks and then gives Kara a hard look when she grabs two huge bowls filled with treats. “Do not start eating until we are all sitting on the sofa.”

“Yes ma’am.” Kara deadpans and starts transferring the stuff over from the island to the coffee table, while Alex gets the microwavable popcorn ready. Finding they all prefer fresh, hot popcorn to normal bagged ones.

Kara hears the shower turn off and super speeds over to grab the clothes she has chosen for Emma and practically skips to the door, knocking on it in a quick rhythm.

“Hey Em, I got some comfy clothes for you to change into.” Kara calls through the door and hears Emma moving around the bathroom. The door opens and Emma’s hand appears to take it. “There you go!” When the door closes again Kara heads to Alex sitting on the sofa. Her sunny attitude fading as her face morphs into one of worry. “Do you think she had a hard session today?”

“Yea maybe. I mean she hasn’t seemed the happiest the past few days.”

“Mhmm, do you think it's mainly due to Lena? She’s working way too hard.”

“When doesn’t she?!” Alex takes a sip of her drink. “Shall we order or wait for Em to decide?”

“Let’s wait.” Kara nods and sits back into the sofa cushions.

“But how is Lena, like, have you gone to see her recently?”

“Yea, I saw her last night on patrol. Actually had to forcibly remove her from her office but we had a good chat. She just holds onto what her damn family says too much.”

“Yea.” Alex says softly in agreement. She’s grown to really care for Lena, despite the rocky start. “But she’s taking time off soon for the- you know.”

“Yes, that's the plan.” They both ignore the word surgery and both feel their nerves bubbling up about it. “Are you taking any ti-”

The bathroom door opens, making the sisters drop their conversation and look at their baby sister.

Emma feels more relaxed after the warm shower but the sudden stop in her sisters’ conversation when she leaves the bathroom fills Emma with an uneasy feeling.

“Were you talking about me?” Emma signs with a tilt of her head as she continues to dry her hair with a towel.

“Just about what food we fancy.” Kara smiles too brightly. “And as usual we want the complete opposite and I was asking Alex what she thought you would want.”

“Yea and I didn’t get to answer cause that’s when you came in.”

Emma stops drying her hair and looks between her two sisters, her eyes darting back and forth. She doesn’t believe them but decides to go along with their explanation. “So what are the options? I mean, we can get different things right? Not like it will go to waste?”

“Now that is an excellent idea.” Alex nods in approval and gives Kara a bright smile as she unlocks her phone to open UberEats. “So Kara you wanted-”

“Potstickers.” Emma signs at the same time Kara enthusiastically yells the word out.

“You know me so well little one!” Kara laughs, making Emma pause, realising Kara hasn’t called her that in a while.

But she carries on drying her hair before flinging the towel towards Alex’s hamper.

“Em-” Alex starts to complain, thinking the towel would flop part of the way there. But the screwed up towel lands perfectly in the laundry basket. “Ma- huh, good throw.”

Emma bows and approaches where she normally sits in the middle of the sofa.

“Peanut, what do you fancy?” Alex looks up from her phone after putting in her order too.

Emma shrugs and grabs a handful of popcorn.

“That’s for the film!” Alex hollers and slaps Emma’s hand, causing her to jump. “Which you also need to choose what you want to watch.”

“I’ll do it!” Kara super speeds to where she left the USB, plugs it into Alex’s tv and hands Emma the remote to scroll through.

“But first I need to know what you want to eat.”

Emma shoves the rest of the popcorn in her mouth to sign. “What have you already ordered?”

“Chinese and pizza.”

“I’m happy with that. Not feeling overly hungry.”

“What?” Kara blinks in shock especially when Emma can eat a decent amount of food.

“What have you eaten today? Did you have a big breakfast?” Alex enquiries, also knowing it was unusual for Emma not to demand her own food.

“Yes Doctor Danvers, I have already eaten something today.” It was only a banana but Emma wasn’t going to admit that. Her session with Alistair has unsettled her stomach.

“Yea but what was it?” Alex presses but Emma ignores her by focusing on the tv and trying to decide what to watch. Making Alex narrow her eyes. “Emma.”

But her eyes move from Emma to Kara when her other sister motions for her to stop by signing. “Can’t you see something is wrong?”

“I know but I want to find out what!” Alex tries to sign out of Emma’s peripheral vision.

“Leave her alone Alex.” Kara warns, making Alex huff which causes Emma to look over at her and Alex gives her a soft smile.

“So, any idea what we are gonna watch?” Alex asks casually and Kara rolls her eyes.

“Lord Of The Rings Extended Editions?” Emma signs hopefully, knowing the full run time is nearly twelve hours long.

“I’m up for that!” Alex beams at the TV as the menu screen for ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring’ comes up.

“Me too!” Kara claps and settles back into the sofa. Emma smiles at both of her sisters and grabs the blanket draped over the back and places it over their laps.

“Thanks Em.”

The sisters watch the opening scenes fold out, explaining the lore of Middle Earth, the darkness and the moment all things were almost lost.

When the whistle of the Shire plays, Emma’s eyes well with tears and she sniffs. Always finding this piece of music touches her. She feels a hand on each thigh as her sisters reach out to comfort her at the same time and Emma hesitantly takes each hand. Warily to not harm them and being frightened to do so.

‘Rao, is this how Kara feels all the time?’

But Emma tries to push her earlier discovery away and gets lost in the film again.

The loud ringing of the apartment buzzer makes Emma almost jump out of her seat.

“Food!” Kara yells as she flies to the door and down the stairs to grab it from the delivery person.

Emma pauses the film and turns to Alex to sign with a raised eyebrow. “Do you think Kara is secretly a Hobbit?” Emma signs, causing Alex to almost spit out the drink she was sipping. “I mean, she has what, four breakfasts?”

Alex cackles loudly and Emma smiles at the sound.

“What are you laughing at?” Kara asks as she super speeds into the room with the food perfectly balanced in her hands.

“Oh, we were just comparing you to a Hobbit.” Alex teases and grins at the blonde.

“Alex!” Kara looks outraged. “I do not have big, hairy feet!”

“It was Emma’s idea!” Alex motions at Emma.

“Emma!” Kara shifts her focus to her baby sister but Emma shrugs and grabs her pizza off the pile.

“I mean, she’s not wrong.” Alex says as she opens a tub of potstickers for Emma and her to share.

“Alex!” Kara yells outraged.

“Kara!” Alex yells mockingly back.

“Emma!” The blonde signs and the trio start laughing. Alex rests her forehead against the side of Emma’s face. Emma turns her head to nuzzle Alex’s and smiles when she feels Kara lean over and hug both of them. Emma twists to place a kiss on Kara's shoulder.

Alex clears her throat and pulls away. “Shall we press play?”

Emma nods and grabs the remote, continuing the film.

The sisters watch the first film and immediately go into the second one, which to Emma, is her favourite. Especially the scenes with Arwen in.

When they get to the scene with Arwen talking to her father, Emma swallows deeply.

“There is still hope.” Arwen whispers back.

Emma’s stomach clenches at the words. Hope.

“Little one?” Kara turns to look at Emma, hearing her heartbeat changing.

Alex immediately grabs the remote to pause the film when she sees tears fill her sister's eyes and how Emma is desperately trying to hide them.

“No, I’m fine. Please continue the film.”

“Actually I need to use the bathroom!” Kara zips up and Alex pauses the film anyway.

She watches Emma closely as she rubs her eyes, trying to force away the tears. “Em? You know you can always tell me what’s going on? Right?”

Emma nods but doesn’t look Alex in the eye, knowing she’d break. “It was a hard session today, sorry.”

“Oh Em, please don’t apologise.” Alex says and pulls her sister into her lap, hugging her close. She feels Emma stiffen but slowly relaxes in her arms.

Kara comes back and Alex gives her a sad look.

“Everything okay?” She asks while sitting down next to them.

“It was a hard session.” Alex answers softly.

“Oh little one.” Kara places a gentle hand on Emma’s back and Emma can’t hold the tears back anymore as she buries her head into the crook of Alex’s shoulder.

Alex and Kara sadly gaze at each other, unsure what they can say or do as they listen to Emma’s hard breaths and sniffs.

Kara swallows and shuffles closer, hugging Emma’s back. “We got you little one, you're safe.” Kara feels Emma shift and move her hand over her shoulder to grab a hold of hers.

They don’t know how long they stay in this position but Kara and Alex do not move until Emma feels ready. They whisper words of love and encouragement and hope she hears them.

Suddenly Kara’s head snaps to the apartment door as she hears two sets of footprints approach. The door opens before she can do anything as Sam and Lena walk through. They both halt at the sight of the sisters.

“What's wrong?” Sam whispers quietly as she places the takeaway food on the coffee table and goes to Alex’s side, perching on the edge of the sofa.

“Hard session.” Alex answers softly and kisses Sam’s lips.

“Has she mentioned anything else?” Lena asks quietly and watches as Emma immediately lifts her head up and twists her neck to find her. Lena swallows as she sees the tears streaming down Emma’s reddened cheeks, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. “Oh love.” Lena says brokenly and goes to comfort her girlfriend, but halts as she doesn’t know where she can go.

Kara immediately moves out of the way, allowing Lena to sit next to Alex and hug Emma’s back. But Emma has other ideas as she twists and moves her upper body onto Lena and holds her close, burying her head into Lena’s neck but her lower half stays on Alex’s lap.

“We got you love.” Lena soothes while stroking Emma’s damp hair and back. She feels Kara scoot close and Lena signals that Kara can join the hug. Immediately Kara wraps an arm around Lena and places a hand gently on Emma’s lower back.

The four women quietly console the broken woman in between them and each other. Wishing nothing more than to heal Emma’s pain.

In time Emma loses steam and slowly lifts her head from the crook of Lena’s neck and sniffs heavily.

“Hi love.” Lena says gently and Emma nuzzles their foreheads together and breathes deeply.

Emma feels truly exhausted, not having cried like that in weeks, well, since she found out about her paralysed vocal chords.

“Is this the time though?” Emma’s ear picks up Alex quietly whispering to Sam.

“Maybe it will make her happy?” Sam offers back, making Emma turn her head towards the couple.

“What will make me happy?” Emma sloppily signs and Kara shifts so she can see the couple too. A small smile gracing her lips.

“Well, erm…” Alex pauses. “I’ve found I’m not really living here anymore because I’m mainly around Sam's apartment.”

“So, we’ve decided that Alex will move in with Ruby and I.” Sam finishes with a huge grin.

Emma blinks and her eyes dart around Alex’s apartment. She had noticed little trinkets and items missing but thought nothing of it.

“Congratulations!” Kara yells happily and jumps to her feet to hug her sister and Sam.

“Thanks Kara.” Alex hugs Kara back and turns back to Emma, who still looks like she’s processing. “Em?”

She watches as Emma’s eyes refocus and a small smile tugs at the corner of her right lip. She lifts her hands and holds one hand with the other and firmly shakes them. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks Em.” Alex smiles back.

“And, you can totally come crash at ours anytime, use the spare room and have sister nights.” Sam smiles at Emma and Kara.

“Well, not ANY-time.” Alex burrows her nose into her girlfriend’s cheek and Sam blushes and bites her lip.

Emma raises an eyebrow and smirks at Lena. She takes a shuddering deep breath as her body calms down from her breakdown.

“Do we want to finish the film and watch the third one another time?” Kara asks while looking through the takeout bags.

Missing the way Emma whips around to gape at her.

“But then it's not a movie marathon!”

“Kara.” Lena says to get the alien’s attention out of the bag containing burgers and french fries.

“Hmm?” Kara’s eyes are wide as she looks to see what her best friend wants.

“Emma was signing to you.”

“Sorry little one.” Kara says apologetically.

“But then it's not a movie marathon.”

“I agree!” Kara nods and shoves some french fries in her mouth. “Shall we get comfy?!”

“I need to pee.” Emma signs and carefully moves off her sister and girlfriend. But as she takes a step away from them the world morphs around her.

‘Please! Not now!’ Emma’s mind yells and she tries to halt her step, ultimately causing her to trip over her own feet.

“Wow careful Em!” Alex laughs. “Rao you are getting more clumsy than Kara!”

“Hey!” Kara yells back offended, making Lena and Sam chuckle in response.

Emma smiles back at them but moves cautiously to the bathroom door.

“Did she mention anything else?” Emma hears Lena ask as soon as she closes the bathroom door.

“No, she’s been quieter than normal.” Alex sighs heavily, making Emma’s heart clench.

“Like she wasn’t here.” Kara agrees.

“Well therapy sessions can be tough sometimes and it’s good Emma is obviously opening up.” Sam tries to reassure the group while plating up everyone's food.

Emma tries not to listen but her ears can’t help but pick up her loved one’s voices. She finishes what she is doing and washes her hands. Briefly pausing and leaning against the sink.

‘Should I tell them?�� Emma wonders and her eyes lift her to her distressed expression. Immediately she wipes her face and adopts a more neutral expression. ‘They have enough to deal with anyway.’

Suddenly she feels a piercing pain in her head. So severe that if she had her voice, Emma would have screamed out as she scrunches up her eyes. Emma then feels a droplet fall from her nose and her eyes shoot open. Her nose is bleeding. She quickly grabs some toilet paper to stem the flow. But, finds nothing more comes out, the nosebleed seemingly stops before it had even begun.

Confused, Emma repeatedly wipes at her nose a few times to make sure it had indeed stopped.

‘Weird.’ Emma mutters in her mind as she stares down at the blood on the tissue. Her head tilts as she assesses the colour and her eyebrows knit together.

“Emma?” Sam’s muffled voice calls through the door, making Emma recoil away from it. “Are you okay in there?”

Throwing the bloodied piece of tissue into the toilet, Emma flushes it, quickly washes her hands and moves towards the door, opening it to a concerned looking Sam.

“You okay?” She asks as her warm brown eyes seemingly studies the blonde in front of her.

Emma nods and gives her a small smile before moving past her to get back to the sofa.

Sam follows, watching Emma closely and sits on Alex’s turquoise chair. Emma hesitates, not sure where she can sit due to the sofa looking full with her sisters and Lena already on it.

“There’s room for you on here too, it will be a tight squeeze but I think we can manage.” Lena pats the small gap between her and Alex. Emma carefully wedges herself between the two and gratefully takes the plate Kara hands to her. Already feeling a bit hungry.

“Ready?” Alex asks while grabbing the remote.

“Ready!” Sam and Kara yell back and the room is again filled with the sights and sounds of Middle Earth.

-- -- --

Later that night Kara, Emma and Lena glide through the air towards Lena’s apartment.

“I mean, why couldn’t Gandalf have just got the Eagles to fly Frodo and the ring to Mount Doom?” Kara argues with Lena while Emma listens and smiles, enjoying the debate between the two.

“Because they are their own beings plus Sauron had the Fellbeast and the Nazgûl would have seen the eagles coming!”

“Huh, I guess. But! Then why didn’t the fellowship prepare for that? Have a few more elves firing arrows? Problem solved!” Kara declares as they touch down on the balcony.

“If you say so, Kara.” Lena beams at her best friend as Kara gently places her feet on solid ground and Emma lets off her sister.

“Well, goodnight.” Kara opens her arms and hugs Lena tight before turning and giving Emma a hug too.

“Night.” Lena yawns out and opens the balcony door with Emma following behind her and waving goodbye to Kara.

They get ready for bed together and Lena can’t help but notice the far off look in Emma’s eyes. Like her girlfriend was somewhere else.

When they slide into bed, Lena gently takes Emma’s hand and lies on her side to fully look at her girlfriend.

“Hey.” Lena gently whispers.

Emma slowly turns her head and her eyes focus on concerned green ones.

“Are you okay?”

Swallowing deeply Emma turns to lie on her side to face Lena. Her mind races with what to communicate. Should she tell her everything?

“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Lena says, seeing the clogs working in Emma’s mind, and the worry within her eyes. But suddenly Lena is yawning again. “Sorry.” She blinks and widens her eyes more to keep them open.

Emma gives her a small smile and watches her closely. ‘She’s exhausted. Tell her a half truth.’

“I’m nervous about next week.”

“That’s understandable. But we are all with you.” Lena nuzzles her forehead against Emma’s and gently kisses her lips. Her hand slowly trails down Emma’s body.

But Emma pulls back and her smile widens slightly. “Time for sleep.”

“But I want to make you feel good.” Lena yawns out, even though her eyelids start drooping from exhaustion. Emma slowly reaches out and softly runs the back of her finger down the bridge of Lena’s nose.

“No sleep.” Lena whines but feels her eyes closing anyway and a tender kiss being placed against her lips. “Lve yu.”

Emma squeezes Lena’s hand three times and watches her girlfriend fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. She stays there for a while, admiring how serene and stunning the raven haired beauty looks.

Slowly Emma rolls over, picks up her notebook and pencil and faces Lena again. She sits up against the headboard so she can sketch Lena, wanting to capture the moment and take in every detail of her love.

Once her task was done Emma places her things on the bedside table.

“Hope, can you turn the lights off please?” Emma signs and carefully slides down the bed to lay back down. Emma closes her eyes and breathes deeply, willing herself to go to sleep.

But in the dark, sinister voices start playing through her mind. Digging up her fears and dread.

Emma blows a frustrated breath through her nose and turns back towards Lena, opening her eyes to focus on the raven haired beauty. Emma’s breathing becomes heavy as she tries to stay calm, but ultimately her stomach clenches and thoughts begin pouring in of what will be happening this time next week. What will the outcome be of the surgery? Will it succeed?

As if sensing Emma’s distress in her sleep, Lena shuffles closer to her girlfriend and latches on. Unknowingly calming Emma down and relieving the ache in her heart. Emma gently kisses Lena’s head, pushing aside her fears and worries before closing her eyes, to fall into a peaceful sleep.

(Part Thirty Four)

[neo-culture-mafia]

焦虑

钟辰乐 Zhong Chenle

Jaemin has removed himself from our everyday lives since we found out the news. The news that broke and separated us more than we already were. Our family has split again. This time-- we all repelled each other. Dinners were now silent when no one dared to speak into the heavy silence. Taeyong talks with no reply as if the news never affected him.

I sometimes walk past the older Junior Force's rooms to hear faint sniffles and some masked sobs. I don't blame them-- I don't even blame myself when I break down in the middle of the day.

"I'm gonna do it." Jaemin smiled as he came into the lounge. "I'm going to grow a pair and ask them to come back home." his smile lit up the room as his eyes sparkled in the early morning light.

"Can I come?" Jisung asked while his hands grasped together in front of his chest. "Not this time, Jwi. I'm going to come back with them-- then you can hug them and annoy them for the rest of eternity." Jaemin grabbed his keys and bag without another word.

Renjun sat on the middle couch cushion in a heap of blankets with a cup of tea; Jeno laid spread out next to Renjun on the pristine white sofa without a care in the world; Jisung sat next to the couch on the armchair where his legs were thrown over the armrest-- his long legs guarding a bag of candy and I laid across the loveseat. The older elites were either training or sleeping the hours away. It was a crisp morning that held so many promises and wishes.

"I'll be back," Jaemin called as we were left with his absence. "Do you think they'll come back?" Renjun called into the air as he took a sip from his cooling tea. "It's going to take a lot of convincing." Jeno sighed as his eyes shut and he stole a blanket from Renjun's stack.

"Lele." Renjun called my name lightly, "Did you talk to Kun lately?" He asked me as I tried to rake my brain for the last memory I had of a conversation with the older member. "No. I talked to him about 2 weeks ago. Something about a big mission," I trailed off and Renjun nodded, "he wanted to know when Mark and y/n would be back though so he could come back and prepare dinner." I hummed and Renjun's eyes shut softly.

"I just want them home," I whispered to myself as a shiver of loneliness ran down my spine. "We all do. Just trust Jaemin." Jisung called across the room. We all looked towards him as he tapped furiously on his screen. "You heard me?" I asked and he nodded. "You mutter rather loudly." His eyes squinted into a smile as he waved off our stares and returned to his game.

Jeno and Renjun began a conversation as I took this time to exit. I grabbed the back of the loveseat and hoisted myself over the back and onto the ground. "Where did lele go?" Renjun's voice broke the conversation as I held my breath. "Probably slithered out not too long ago." Jeno yawned. I used the blind spots and crawled out of the living room and into the kitchen where Johnny stood, eating a bowl of fruit.

"Is it yummy?" I asked as I grabbed the water container. "Delicious," Johnny interjected and sat down on a barstool. I poured myself a glass of water and began sipping leisurely. "So how's it going, little man?" Johnny questioned as his eyes trained on my figure. "Pretty good, big man." I laughed and his smile broke the tension.

"Do you think they'll come home today?" I asked and I could see him hesitate. "I hope they do." He chuckled and pushed some fruit around with his fork.

"Their rooms are still here. They have all of their stuff here...we just need them." He confirmed the current situation bluntly. Yet, the bluntness was calming coming from Johnny.

"We should clean their rooms for them. It must be dusty up there. We could make it more warm and habitable." I shrugged and finished the rest of the water in my glass.

Johnny smiled. "You, Chenle? Wanting to clean?" I watched as his shoulders shook a little with humor as he couldn't believe what he was hearing. My mouth gaped a little. "I will have you know that I can be clean when I want to be. And when I want to be-- I polish up pretty nice." I straightened my back and pointed my nose to the sky. His smile was infectious as I could feel the familial love in the air.

"I think that is an amazing idea, lele. We have the day to rearrange and clean and maybe even decorate if you wanted," Johnny said and I could feel my heart swell, "I can run to the store to get some new blankets and pillows for them while you stick back and start to move things around." This was happening. They were coming home.

"Can the others help?" I asked and he waved off to the living room where the other Junior Forces laid in male laziness. I had a running start as I dived onto the pile of blankets that shielded my older friend from the light of morning. I landed on Jeno as he groaned and tried to move me over so I was squished between his body and the back of the couch.

"Johnny-hyung and I are going to be cleaning and rearranging y/n and Mark's rooms. Do you guys want to help?" I looked at the 3 boys. Stares were exchanged amongst them. "I call y/n's room!" They shouted as they tried to fight each other off their asses and out of the living room. "We'll work on y/n's room then go onto Mark's...deal?" I asked and they all stopped mid bicker. "Deal." They all repeated and marched up the stairs and in front of the two untouched rooms that sat at the end of the hall.

We all stood in front of the plain white door with our breaths trapped in our chests. "Who's going to open it?" Jisung whispered and we all looked at each other in our peripherals. "It's locked." Jeno breathed. "I'll get Johnny." I ran to the balcony that overlooked the kitchen. "Hyung. The doors are locked." I explained and he looked around the counter for his keys. They shot up and right into my hand. "The black and white key is y/n's and the dark red one is Mark's." He explained quickly. "Thank you!" I called and ran back down the carpeted hallway. Jaehyun and Jungwoo now stood in the crowd in front of the closed door.

"I got the keys." I called and stepped around some of the bodies that were crowding. They all skeptically looked to the door as I walked to the piece of wood and shakily put the key into the lock. I turned and the door creaked.

I pulled the key out and stood staring at the piece of painted white wood in front of my face. "It's okay. Open it." Jaehyun whispered. My hand came up to the cool metal doorknob and turned it and pushed.

The light streamed through her balcony door and lit up a rainbow on her carpeted floor. Dust floated through the rays of sun and reminded us of the neglect the room had been through.

Jisung stepped up through the crowd and was the first to walk into the room.

He grabbed the stuffed koala at the end of her bed and sat in its place. The stuffed animal was smushed in his embrace as we could see the emotion flash through his eyes. "They're coming home." He whispered to himself.

We all slowly walked in and inspected a random object that caught our attention.

White walls made the room feel open yet bare. "Do you think her record player is somewhere in here?" Jungwoo called and we all were determined to find the familiar yellow suitcase that held one of her most prized possessions.

I was the first person to open the closet and was met with the yellow box on the floor. "In here." I grabbed the record player and set it on her bed. Renjun opened it up and started to set it up. Rap records laid in a box with writing all over it. I pulled the heavy box out and we all started sifting through the box.

The most worn-out record laid on the top, 'Eminem' laying in front of our eyes. "I've been looking for that record for the past 3 years." Johnny sighed as his presence was finally recognized. He snatched the vinyl and placed it onto the spoke. The hand came down and a familiar tune was projected from the speakers.

'Beautiful'. I remembered the numerous times that she would play this song in the car. The groans from the rest of the car always made her eyes sparkle with mischief. I know we all miss this song though.

"Alright let's start." Johnny clapped his hands and we all began to move around the room trying to make the room look liveable. Some of us hummed along and some of us were just so caught up in the task that we blocked each other out.

"Does anyone have anything we could hang up? Like posters or pictures?" Jeno called as he organized her cd's with care. "I do! I have a bunch of family pictures in my room." Jisung called and sprinted out of the room.

We were all prepared for some handfuls of pictures, yet, we were never prepared with 4 photo boxes that were each overflowing. We all sat down and tried to make a collage that would make the room come together.

Pictures of us as kids leading up to when we first left were cascading through the room as we began hanging the photos up. "Do you think she'll like it?" I asked and Jaehyun's hand messed up my hair. "Love it."

"Onto Mark's." Jeno rounded us all up and ushered us to the door right next to y/n's. This door was easier for us to open as we already experienced the rollercoaster of emotions once before.

"Is that my old holster?" Renjun pushed us all aside and ran into the room where indeed, his old holster laid on top of Mark's chest at the end of his bed.

"Are those my old chemistry notebooks?" Jeno gasped as he ran to the bedside table where a stack of notebooks full of Jeno's old equations laid in perfect solitude.

"Yeah. We didn't know who's was who's stuff when we moved their stuff in. We just divided it up and stored," Jaehyun said as he grabbed a chain that laid on the desk. "Sorry about that." His smile washed away any anger the other boys could've been feeling.

"You guys rearrange and I'll go shopping for new sheets and stuff like that." Johnny bid us a farewell and was on his own way.

~~~

"How did you find out?!" Renjun hollered as he finally took a rest on the couch. We had all worked for 5 hours straight on the rooms and they were pristine. We could finally sit down and rest after a hard day of homecoming preparations.

"No. Family dinner can be tomorrow. They need time to rest, Kun-" "Are you stalking us?!" Renjun called and we laughed in amusement. "Fine. Fly up tonight and prepare for tomorrow. They'll be here any minute, I have to go." And with that-- Renjun hung up his cellphone.

He threw his head onto the back of the couch and let out a long sigh.

More members came to sit in the living room, excited to see the two most missed people walk through

acting like. It was a happy-filled space, yet, something just feels off.

Taeil came in and sat down on the recliner across from my place on the loveseat. He looked at me and could sense I felt something wrong. "You feel it too?" He asked and I slowly nodded. His hands ran through his hair as he leaned back on the black leather recliner.

The front door opened and we all jumped to our feet to see a familiar set of dark brown eyes and silver hair. "Yuta?" Doyoung called out in shock. "I've come to bless you all with my presence." He smiled as some of his men followed suit. "And also to introduce to a new team member," Yuta smiled and grabbed a younger boy by the shoulder. "This is my second in command, Osaki Shotaro." Yuta's actions took us for a loop.

"I heard my brother and sister are coming back and wanted to join the rest of the family upon their return." It was as if Yuta read our minds. "And while celebrating their homecoming, I thought we could all welcome a new face around here." We were all open to the idea and Shotaro didn't seem like the problem...something was still off.

There was a bang from the front door as Yuta's guards all drew their guns and held them at their sides.

"I won, you lost, bozo." "Get off of me you numb nut!" Someone struggled. A hand gripped the floor as a more familiar face rounded the corner into the living room. "Hello!" Kun smiled with Sicheng and Xiaojun in tow.

"Gege!" Renjun shouted and bear-hugged them all at once...or...well at least he tried. Lucas, Ten, Yangyang, and Hendery were in a heap on the floor as they wrestled each other senselessly. The Chinese family members said their hello's and Kun went to tame the ones who couldn't control themselves.

"I will put you all on a plane back to China right now if you don't stop." Kun called over the group and they didn't stop. "We are here to see Mark and Y/n, not to fight on the floor." Kun tried yanking some of them off each other.

Our smiles couldn't be tamed as Johnny walked over and literally pulled the boys off of each other. "Oh hey, Johnny." Ten smiled as his feet were lifted off the ground. "Hey, dude." Johnny greeted as he tossed him over onto the carpeted living room floor. "Lucas I am not picking you up." Johnny groaned as he put his leg in between Hendery and Yangyang's bodies. "I will put you both into chokeholds." Johnny threatened and they were still going at it.

"3." Johnny started counting and they were up before he reached 2. "Hello." They bowed and walked into the warm and spacious living room.

"Any word?" Kun asked me after we exchanged greetings. I shook my head with a sigh. "What's wrong?" He asked and I just shook my head again. "Something's wrong," I whispered, "I don't know what, but, something is going on that we don't know about." I started pulling at my fingers.

"Well let's just sit down and wait for a little bit. Hopefully, once they arrive, you'll feel okay." Kun's smile calmed my fears slightly as we both sat next to each other on the love seat.

~~~

We all sat around the living room as we were waiting and ready to go out to dinner once Mark and Y/n got home and washed up.

The familiar rev of Jaemin's motorcycle could be heard in the distance. We all looked to each other in silence as our hearts were about to beat out of our chests. "Just breathe." Kun reminded everyone and it was as if a group of fish had been taken out of water. Gasps were heard around the room as we tried to stabilize our heartbeats.

The engine stopped in front of the door and the front door was opened soon after. Jaemin stormed in with anger written across his features. Blood stained his cheekbones and brow bone as a sad tone took hold of the room...no Mark or y/n followed him.

Jaemin searched the faces of the room. "Where the fuck is he?" His hand that gripped his helmet raised and was held above his head for a moment. "Where?!" Jaemin's voice broke and we all looked around at each other looking for a response. "Taeyong?" Yuta asked and with a flare of Jaemin's nostrils, we knew that Taeyong was the wanted man of the hour.

"He's in his office, Jae." Jeno called softly and Jaemin's hand threw down his helmet where it shattered into what looked like a million pieces. Jisung, who sat closest to the outburst, shielded himself from the flying glass.

We all got up to confront him as we watched him run down the hall towards the head office. We watched as he kicked the door in and ran to Taeyong who was startled from the action.

"What. Did. You. Do." Jaemin grabbed Taeyong by the collar and pulled him close to his own face. "What are you talking ab-" "I will use your head as a hood ornament-" "Excuse me?!" Taeyong shrieked. "Where are they?!" I watched from behind Hendery as we saw Jaemin completely lose it.

Taeyong became limp as his face fell. "You weren't supposed to find out like this." Taeyong sighed as he grabbed Jaemin's face lovingly.

We all looked to Taeyong. "Jaemin. What is going on?" Jaehyun asked as he stepped into the office. "They killed themselves-"

There it was...the bombshell that rocked all of our worlds.

"No. They didn't." Jaemin shook Taeyong again. "That wasn't them. They-" He threw Taeyong back into his office chair, "They wouldn't do something like that." He pointed at Taeyong. "Their tattoos. They were in different spots. The people in that apartment weren't them." Jaemin shook his head, a couple tears cascading down his cheeks. "You did something-" "They're gone, Jaemin. They're never coming back. They killed themselves and you need to deal with the fact you weren't there in time-" We were all overwhelmed with what we were experiencing. This wasn't real.

"I'm gonna-" I looked back to see Jeno start to stumble. His face was stark white and his pupils were the size of tea plates. His hand was fumbling for something to hold onto and hold himself up. "No-" I whispered as I didn't have the strength to outstretch myself and catch him.

Kun turned around at the perfect time to catch him. He plummeted in Kun's arms. "Lucas. Help me get Jeno to the living room." Yet, Lucas was spaced out too. It looked as if he was going to go down at any moment.

"No. Not you too." Kun pleaded quietly. "Lele-" but it was too late...I was on the ground.

~~~

I woke up in a frantic sweat. Masses of bodies held onto each other as the moon shone through the window. "You need to sleep." The dark voice made me jump as I snapped my head to the window where Yuta stood in silence once more.

"But-" "No. You passed out. You need to rest." "Is it true?" "That doesn't matter right now-" "Yes!" I said and some bodies turned in their sleep.

Yuta made sure the others didn't move again as his eyes locked with mine. "They're safe now. They're with Donghyuck." Yuta muttered but I started to feel lightheaded again. "My men and I will be in Japan by morning. Don't invite me to the memorial service as I've already wept my tears for their suffering." Yuta walked to the entrance where Shotaro and the other men stood in silence.

"Take care of yourself, Chenle." Yuta hummed. "My door is always open to you all," he thought for a moment, "Well...most of you." Yuta's eyes locked with someone's at the other end of the entranceway-- Taeyong.

The tension was strong as they stared each other down, "A man who cannot tolerate small misfortunes will never accomplish great things." Yuta spoke clearly. And with that-- Yuta and his men walked out of the front door in a clean formation.

Taeyong looked to me one more time before walking away in what I sensed to be shame.

Now we worked at an off base site where that day replays in my head on an endless loop. It holds me prisoner in those emotions I still feel on a daily basis. We worked on filing for Seven Stars and their local triads. Taeyong had sold the Neo Culture Family name and we were basically slaving away at the expense of our enemy.

"I know they're out there." Jeno barked quietly. "If you bring up those dead bastards one more time-- I swear to God that I'm gonna slap you." Renjun groaned as he typed furiously on the laptop he was provided. "Renjun. Stop." Kun pleaded as he popped his knuckles for what sounded like the millionth time.

"They're your family-" "They're dead, Kun. They’re our dead family." Renjun bashed and we all fell silent. Jisung walked into the room with tears in his eyes as he wiped at his mouth furiously.

We didn't dare ask what he was forced to do after he honestly told us the first time. "You okay?" I called softly and he nodded, choking back what seemed like a sob.

We all bowed our heads and didn't dare to look at one another try to break the tension. The tension hasn't been broken since we left the overrun base 5 months ago.

[strongsassysexysloane]

Ain’t life a B*tch - Epilogue

I bet you didn’t see this coming.. But I had an idea and a request and I couldn’t help myself. 

I may have cried writing this so there’s that. 

. . . . .

It was a cute idea, one you'd planned for weeks, something you'd thought about for months and since it had been over a two years since you had officially been together you thought why the hell not? Both of you requested time off and Ben was fully capable of running things while you were away and Alex had turned into a great Agent so they made a great partnership. So, you had nothing to worry about when leaving the office Thursday lunch time after Ben had reassured you and kicked you out of the building when his phone rang with a new case.  

It was just you and Jack for the next three nights in a remote cabin surrounded by a winter wonderland. The snowfall the night before was heavy enough so the field and trees surrounding the cabin were coated in a white blanket and it really looked like something out of a movie. You'd found this beautiful cabin through a friend of a friend; it was owned by a family but they weren't using it this weekend and were happy to let you have it for a cheap price.  

You pulled Gibbs truck up to the cabin, he insisted you take his truck after you said you were going to drive Jack's Mini; Jack hadn't stopped gasping all the way up the beaten track, pointing out the deer and other things. You'd thank Gibbs for his truck later as there wasn't any reception out here and that was half the reason you picked it. No interruptions.

Jack rubbed her hands together before turning to you. "We can snuggle by the fire, make s’mores and.." You put the truck in park and her train of thought was lost as she jumped out of the car before you even turned the engine off.  

You couldn't help but laugh, it had been a while since you'd seen her this carefree. She told you a few months back that she couldn't remember the last time she'd had more than a weekend away that wasn't around the holidays and that's when this idea popped into your head. Sure, you'd taken each other out on dates and gone away for a night here and there but never for more than one night and never so far away or without the possibility of being called back to work. You were both workaholics. Married to the job when the only person you wanted to be married to was Jack Sloane.  

You grabbed your overnight bag and checked the side pocket before hopping out of the truck and following Jack's footprints up to the cabin. She was already inside searching the cupboards and making more ooing and arring sounds at all the things she found.  

God she was adorable.  

"Let's get this fire going." The cabin was freezing but Bill, the owner, had wood stacked high in the corner. Enough to last a week and you saw more up the side of the cabin as you drove in that would easily last a month. Jack started building a fire while you dumped the bag on the huge bed in the middle of the cabin. It wasn't a big cabin, enough to fit a queen size bed with enough space around it, a decent amount of cupboard space, a small space for sitting/ cooking in front of the fire and a tiny toilet room that you could thankfully access from inside the cabin. It would do nicely for the next three nights.  

You walked up behind Jack, resting your hands on her shoulders as she was crouched in front of the fireplace. "Come here." You squeeze her shoulders, gently tugging at her to stand up.  

"I'm right here, baby." She laughs, poking the beginnings of a fire with what was now the fire stick.  

God you loved it when she called you baby.  

"Bring that sassy mouth to mine, will you." You gently nudged her with your right knee, knocking her slightly off balance so much so that she had to place a hand down in front of her to stop from falling.  

She jumped up and turned on you. "Oi!"  

You couldn't help the low laugh that escaped your lips with her attempt at an angry face but it was more like furrowed brows with one hell of an adorable pout. "God you're beautiful." Your planned had worked.

"How can I be angry at you now?"

"You aren't" You wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her in close and burying your face in the nook of her neck. Her hair cascading around you as you sucked, kissed your way up her neck. You would never get enough of her and you hoped the sounds she made would always send shivers down your body. "As much as I love this look of you in a black fedora, trench coat and heeled boots, can we lose it please."  

You had almost lost all the oxygen in your body when Jack had come out of your bedroom after saying she needed time to pack a few things before you could leave. She in fact just wanted to give you a heart attack by getting changed into this outfit. She'd turned the heater up in the truck once you pulled out of the driveway and you had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with the lack of what was under the trench coat as she wouldn't let you rest your hand like you usually did on her thigh as you drove. Instead she rested her hand on your thigh while you drove. At some point half way to the cabin you'd forgotten about what she was wearing because you were concentrating on driving but then she shifted in her spot and the coat moved revealing skin wear her boot finished and the trench coat slipped away from her knee. She quickly rearranged herself when she heard your cough and saw wear your eyes had darted from.  

"You sure you got enough oxygen to cope?"  

"Only one way to find out."  

Jack smirked as your hands moved around to the front of her coat and tugged the belt so her coat fell open. You swear your heart stopped for a beat or twenty and then kick started again. No wonder she wanted to get the fire going. It was finally starting to warm the cabin which was only why you took the next step to rid her of the trench coat and let it drop to the floor behind her.  

"Jacqueline.." You breathed taking her in. She was wearing knee high black boots, matching black lacey bra with matching panties. There definitely wasn't enough oxygen to supply your body right now. You were definitely light headed and Jack just smirked that wicked grin before ghosting her lips over yours.  

"Glad you like it. I'm freezing my ti-"  

"I got that covered." You lips made a path from her lips, down her neck to the destination that needs the most attention.  

"Fuck." She shouted when your mouth captured her nipple through the thin layer of black laced cloth. "So worth it." She moaned, gripping your shoulders as her knees were starting to buckle.

You smirked leaving one and moving to the other. The next hour or so was spent seeing how sturdy the counters and bed were in the cabin. You were so thankful that the cabin was in the middle of nowhere because Jack didn't hold back and neither did you. You knew she was a screamer but your ear drums were definitely ringing after that.  

The fire crackled in the background and your heart was just getting back to normal when Jack nuzzled closer to you. You smiled remembering the past few weeks, she'd been bugging your since overhearing a phone call with Bill about final details of the cabin. Thankfully she hadn't heard enough to give it all away but enough for her to want to know more and she'd been nothing by giddy since last week when she pried the information out of you with her head between your legs and you begging for her touch. She knew the best and worst ways to torture you. Building you up, letting you hover on the edge and easing off. Then repeating it over and over until you gave in. At least gave in to enough information to satisfy her to make her finally finish what she started.

"I think there's a small two seated camp couch in the cupboard if you want to get that up in front of the fire instead of Gibbs poor excuse of camp chairs he packed in the truck." Jack hummed against your neck, running her fingers up and down your side under the thick blankets.  

"If you want to get out from under the blankets? Go ahead."  

"The fire does need more wood."  

"Off you go." You nudge her cheek but all she did was magically nuzzle in closer to you, somehow she always manages to find a way to get close to you when you swear there was no more space between you. "Thought not."  

"Shut up."  

It didn't take long for the cabin to get cold again as the fire dwindled and you were the sucker to get out from under the covers to fix it. Luckily your jeans and hoodie were close enough before you froze your - you checked the pocket again, making sure it was still in place. You made the fire roar again and set up the couch adding some blankets and pillows that were stored in the cupboard with it. Jack finally got out from under the covers once the room filled back to an acceptable temperature and she slipped into a pair of track pants, a sweater and she couldn't help wearing that black fedora as well. It was such a contrast from earlier and you couldn't decide which outfit you preferred.  

The afternoon rolled into early evening and you both slipped into the snow boots that were by the door and went on a short walk as the sun was setting.  Your fingers laced with hers, resting in the pocket of your hoodie as you wandered around the cabin. Neither of you spoke, just soaking in your surroundings and being alone together.  

Sometimes moments didn’t need words to make them meaningful.

The walk really cleared your head, having her hand in yours, scanning your surroundings, the still of the world. Everything you needed and could ever want was right beside you. She was the first to turn around, giving in to the freezing weather and in that moment, you made up your mind. You knew because your heart started to beat faster, your palms got sweaty even though you were freezing and your stomach dropped.  

She opened the door and you followed her in, not bothering to stop and remove your boots as she did. You headed straight for your overnight bag and retrieved what you needed. You slipped the little box into your back pocket and ignored the curious look from Jack before walking back to the front door to remove your boots. You were nervous and had a million things running through your head so nothing was coming naturally.  

As you were removing your shoes Jack came around your back and pulled off your coat. Your breath stopped at her contact and if she noticed your sudden stillness, she didn't say anything. Once your shoes were off and Jack had hung up your coat you grab her hand and guide her over to the couch where you both collapsed down into the blankets and pillows.  

This was it, you didn't let go of her hand, taking it in both of yours before you looked into her inquisitive eyes. "Jack.." You breathed and she moved her other hand to cup your cheek.  

"What's wrong?"  

You huffed out a short breathy laugh. Absolutely nothing was wrong. And you hoped it never would be ever again with her by your side. "You make me laugh at things that aren't funny. You make me smile without actually being there. You make my stomach flip by a text. You make my heart drop by just saying hi. Jack yo-"

"I -"

"I haven't finished. For once, just shush."  

Jack pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key with a cute sly grin to her lips. She knew this was a serious moment, clearly you had something important to say but that didn't stop her from throwing in humour making you roll your eyes.  

God, you loved her.

"You broke all the walls, all the things I put in front to keep my distance. You haven't left my side since I banged my head and I wouldn't have it any other way." You watched as Jack slowly started to piece together what you were saying, her eyes brimming with tears. "I promise never to push you away, to always stand by you and talk with you. To laugh and cry with you. To always love you and make you smile any chance I can." You reach up to wipe away a tear that rolled down her cheek, as she huffed for breath. In that moment you pull out the little square box, opening it as more tears roll down Jack's cheeks. The ring you chose was a simple rose gold band with a reasonable sized diamond in the centre. It wasn't much but you knew Jack didn't care. She'd said so a few months ago when you'd walked past a jewellery store and she stopped, looking at a few rings. "Will you-?"

"Yes." She choked, tears spilling from her eyes and yours. She grabbed your hand with the ring, admiring it and looked back at you in the eyes. "Well, are you going to put it on?"  

You were still in shock, reliving over the last few minutes with this beautiful woman in front of you. She'd said yes? She'd said yes! "Yeah... yeah!" You shook the shock off and slipped the ring out of the box and onto her smooth, slender finger. "Perfe-"  

Her mouth smashed against yours causing you to drop the box and wrap your arms around her waist, pulling you down onto you as you leaned back into the couch. The fire cracked at your feet as she explored and showed you how much she loved you.  

Your heart beats started to even out as you cuddled together under a blanket. She'd absentmindedly been playing with your hair, massaging your scalp for the past few minutes and you could help but close your eyes at the sensation. You were quiet and at piece when Jack started to pour her heart out.  

"I couldn't believe when you came back into my life. It was like a demon had just gut punched me and an angel was shining down upon me. I once prayed I would never see you again but knew that was the last thing I wanted." She sucked in a long shuddering breath, she was crying and you weren't far off but you stayed still, the memories came flooding back.  

The back of your eye lids started to replay that night. You'd just gotten home from the office. Vance had given you the best news, the transfer came through and you couldn't be happier but it wasn't until you closed his office door that the reality sunk in. You had to tell her, you had to break up with her. You'd had the transfer floating around in the system for what seemed like forever, it had even slipped your mind until that night.  

The memories flashed to telling Jack. The tears blurring your vision, the anger in her eyes. She was furious, heartbroken, many nights after that your dreams flooded your mind with the moment you saw her heart break and the anger boil over. You were that person you promised her you'd never be. Breaking her just like all the others had done before. You scrunched your eyes further shut, trying to push away that moment and listen to her words, her touch. That was a memory now, reality was giving you a second chance and you needed to be present in that.  

Jack continued to play with your hair as she spoke and cried. "You were my person, I knew that early on and even when you walked away, you were still my person. My heart was torn apart, I don't think I have cried harder than I did the first night you weren't there but I slowly started to mend my heart. Once I thought I had finally got it all together again there you were. I wanted to punch and kiss you so I did neither. Then you go and walk into that hostage situation; I knew things had to change. I couldn't lose you, not again, not ever again." She sniffed, burying her face into your hair. "You are my person."  

"And you're mine." You opened your eyes, turning so you were looking directly into hers, your noses pressed against each other. "Now and always." Tears rolling down your cheeks.  

"Don't ever leave me again."  

"You have permission to punch me if I even think it."  

The corner of her lips curving into a hint of a smirk. "Think I'd prefer to just tie you down."  

"Deal."  

You laughed, kissed and cried that night. She was your person and you were hers. Nothing was going to get in the way of this ever again and in a years' time on this exact date you promised that forever and ever in front of your closest friends and family.  

. . . . .

Fin. 

[lukawodric]

sound on – (one shot)

luka modrić x reader warnings: smut (gosh, you’re all dragging me to hell with you).  words: 1.726 a/n: probably the dirtiest thing i’ve ever written after almost is never enough. let me know if you like it or if there’s anything wrong with spelling and etc. enjoy, you dirty people.

After some time together, you both knew by heart exactly how the other one used to act. All the manias, all the things you liked and disliked and even the way you could act in front of unexpected situations. The end of classic sentences, the favourite food, the favourite places to visit… It’s cozy and comfortable to be with someone who can see right through you like Luka does. When you arrived home after a dinner with the whole team, you both just lied down on your bed to watch something on Netflix. You had your head restfully placed on his chest as his hand went up from your back to caress your hair. Running your fingers on his torso lazily, you started thinking to yourself that, when it comes to sex, he’s usually very quiet. More than you’d like him to be. Luka is the focused type of person who can’t just let go of this specific characteristic. Not even in bed. Everything has to follow the script on his head so he can please the both of you like his imagination tells him to do. A smirk appeared on your lips as your head moved up a little to see him attentively studying every single frame of the series on the TV. Tonight, you had decided that you’d show him something he’d never expect. The bond between you two, this time, wouldn’t tell him what you were up to. What Luka does to you, the way he satisfies you… all of these things are priceless. He gets you shaking and he reaches the exact right spots. It’s like he could read your body like a map. But this time, you’d return it to him twice as better and most important: you’d make him finally leave his silence aside. Luka glanced back at you and showed you that sweet smile of his. “¿Qué pasa?” His adorable accent sounded like music to your ears, almost making you give up on your dirty thoughts. “Nothing, bub,” You answered him, supporting your cheek on his skin. “Just wanted to admire you for a bit.” Blinking, he smiled even more in response as you kissed the spot where you chin was before. Your lips traveled up, covering his chest with warm and wet smackers and a few goosebumps dared to show up and warn you about the effect you were causing on him. You were now peppering kisses along his neck, licking your lips after each touch to provide him the same good sensation unstoppably. Luka fluttered his eyes shut and took a deeper breath, holding the back of your head lightly and fixing his hair away from his face with his free hand. When you reached his stubble, he licked his lips and waited for yours to catch them, initiating an intense but slow kiss as your tongues touched with caution and took their time to taste and explore each other. You started making your way back down as he threatened to flip you under him. Immediately, you moved up, grabbed both his arms and forced him to cross them above his head. Confused, Luka rested his head on his crossed arms and glared at your face, looking for a reason. You unclasped your bra and threw it somewhere, clinging your bodies once again right after. “Just be good, babe.” You gave him a little taste of the answer he was looking for and trailed the kisses to his perfectly shaped abdomen, catching every freckle embellishing his skin with your mouth. He watched you as you both kept the eye contact and your body went down supported by your knees and making your hips dance, showing him the dimples at the bottom of your back as your upper half went down. Nipping and sucking at his v-line, your hands played with the waistband of his black boxers. He let a sigh leave his mouth at the vision of you teasing him. Good. That’s exactly what you wanted him to do. But that was only the beginning. You squeezed his thighs after removing his briefs, grabbing a handful of his bulge with your right hand as the left hand palmed his abs, going up slowly. Luka squirmed against your touch but rapidly found a way to deal with your traces more quietly. You teased him by pulling his tip closer to your mouth, kissing it so delicately he could barely tell if you were actually making any contact. You continued on playing with him by licking all the extension of his length without going any further than this, leaving an impatient Luka licking his upper lip and exhaling peevishly. You knew the rule the guys from the national team told you on the first day you met them: don’t ever get Luka irritated or you might see the angry side of him in its scariest way. Were you giving a single damn about it? Not at all. When he started rearranging his body to get up and get things done, you grabbed his tip with your mouth, licked it and sucked, letting it go with a ‘pop’. Instantly, his body gave up and hit the pillows behind him. You smiled, while holding his throbbing shaft and pumping it with a little bit more of pressure and calmly just to have fun with his desperate mood. His hairline starting to get wet from the sweat, his lungs working harder to keep on breathing properly, his legs moving uninterruptedly to find a way to feel comfortable with all this torture. Promptly, you pinned his dense thighs down on the mattress and took all of him inside your mouth at once. His back arched, making it reach even deeper on your throat. Luka let out a painful groan, his husky voice made you move your head up again and you smirked at him, holding his soaked cock. He looked down at your expression, still very confused and fighting hard to deal with the agony you were providing him. He wondered a thousand times what happened to you? He wasn’t sure he liked it, but internally he was totally begging for more and dying to see where you were leading him to. You put all of his length inside of your warm and wet mouth once again and begun to apply suction as your head started bobbing up and down against his crotch. The wet sounds filling up the room gave his body chills and Luka felt relaxed enough to release a few sighs here and there. You picked up pace and he gasped for air instantly. The veins on his arms and thighs were now pulsing and marking his white and smooth skin with the purple lines showing. Holding the sides of his body tightly, you slowed down the rhythm when you saw him closing his eyes and dropping his chin, leaving his lips opened and puffing the air strongly, making his cheeks inflate as he pouted in a silent ‘u’. His eyes looked for yours in order to make you notice that he was close and wanting more of that. “¿Qué pasa?” You questioned, clearly noting that he was close by the way his shaft started palpitating inside of your mouth as you took him one more time. He finally worked on some words. “I’m… so close…” With difficulty, his raspy tone responded and he rubbed his face in exasperation. Luka was afraid to be rude to you as he felt his blood boiling everywhere, so he took a deep breath, stood up on his elbows and caressed your cheek with his thumb and ran his fingers through your hair, pulling it so softly and with attitude at the same time. He encouraged you to go down and you obeyed, looking profoundly on his eyes and making him shiver. “What do you want?” You were now stroking his shaft carefully, directing its head towards your tongue. “I…” He had to take a quick moment to appreciate the sensation. “I want this pretty mouth of yours around me. No stopping this time.” It took him everything to leave his shyness aside and ask you and turns out if made him feel dominant again, the way he likes to act in the bedroom. He’s bossy in bed and he just can’t help it. Starving, you grabbed him and worked hard on swirling your tongue all around his throbbing cock to spread the wetness for your lips wrapped around him to slide easily, making Luka throw his head back and move his hips in the direction of your hot and wanting mouth. Languidly and precisely, you moved again and his bulge was now also thrusting to meet your mouth while his tongue started cursing and rolling your name off his throat lowly, but audible enough for you to keep on doing it faster. Groaning, Luka gently pulled your head down for you to deep-throat him as he watched to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you in anyways. As you got up again and started sucking him faster, he let go of your head to support his body on both his elbows once again and his abs begun to contract, warning you that he was close. You mapped his muscles with your fingers as your free hand clutched his thigh. That was it. He released a deep moan, completely unable to keep it for him. “M’gonna cum, fuck!” He was so lost in this feeling that he didn’t even notice what he just said. You moved your hand down to stroke the base of his shaft that couldn’t fit in your mouth as you kept on sucking him and he exploded. Legs shaking, chest moving up and down urgently and hands holding the sheets. You left his length to crawl above him, placing a kiss on his sweaty abs, chest, neck and then cheek. Lying beside him, you covered his body with the blanket and positioned your head on where it was before. Luka tapped your shoulder twice for you to move and you looked at him confused. “Is anything wrong?” You asked, concerned. He held your waist firmly. “My turn.” He mumbled. “Aren’t you too tired for that?” Raising an eyebrow, you challenged him. Rule number two: don’t ever challenge Luka. Challenges aren’t traps. For Luka, a challenge is a fuel. “Wanna try me?” He placed your silhouette under his.

[jennsmischievousmind]

EXSOMNIS

CHAPTER 3 -  Expecting the unexpected

Exsomnis: Wakeful, Vigilant

Summary: Fresh Doctor out of residency you didn’t expect Conyers to be this uneventful until everything happened at the same time. From the outset, an odd meeting with what seems like a steadfast Detective but it was only the beginning.

Notes: English is not my native language, I’m trying to get better at it, please be indulgent.

Based on the movie Prisoners by Denis Villeneuve (so I don’t own any of the OG characters) if you haven’t seen it, I recommend you do (maybe before reading) :) The story takes place before and through the event in the movie.

“Hi, I’m here for stitches removal.” He announced typing his fingers on the desk.

“Hold on,” the nurse picked up a file while the phone kept ringing. Erin came at the desk, a tablet in hand.

“Detective Loki, hello, how can I help you?” She asked much more enjoyed than usual.

He eyed her confused. “Hello, uh I came to get my stitches removed.”

“Right, yes, you can wait in treatment 3, a Doctor will see you soon.” She smiled and lead him to the room.

 You were putting your white coat on when Erin rushed in the locker room.

“Doctor Y/L/N! Y/N, you got a patient in treatment 3.”

“I’m not on shift yet Erin, be indulgent with me would you.” You stretch your arms above your head, and you saw her smirk.

“What is it?” you rearranged your collar.  

“You better take this case asap.” she shooed you out the locker room, making sure you were going to treatment 3.

“You’ll thank me later.” she winked and disappeared.

“What!?” You stood there confused, holding the tablet she gave you. Finally looking at the file opened on the tablet, your eyes widened. Raising your head, you squinted your eyes to found her and gut her with your stare. Unfortunately, she was smart enough not to stay in your sight. You took a deep breath and opened the door. Blue eyes locked onto yours immediately.

“Morning Doc!” he stopped pacing around the room finally seating on the bed. Doc it is, alright, you said to yourself.

“Good morning, Detective, how are these stitches?”

“You tell me.” He removed his jacket and lifted his black long sleeve top, you watched him do so from the corner of your eye as you put your gloves on, getting the kit from the drawer. He lowered his pants on his own this time, lying down, you gulped. It was pretty awkward now that you two knew each other but your professional self took control.

“Seems pretty, you asserted cleaning the stitches, you’re going to fill a tug when I removed the thread, tell me if you want me to stop.”

You waited for him to answer but he just nodded, placing your right arm on his left thigh for more stability you felt it tensed. You picked a sterile pincer to pick up the knots, at the same time grabbing surgical scissors to cut each one. The sound of the scissors on the aluminum tray echoed in the room, you could only hear the daily hospital bustle outside the room. Picking up a pincer to pull on the thread his abdomen suddenly contracted, he let out a hissed.

“Sorry,” you whispered still concentrated on the task. You repeated your action on the second wound as he watched your every move. While getting rid of the second thread you brushed his rib with your fingers feeling the cut, he inhaled slightly. Glancing up stealthily you caught him looking at you, he immediately averted his eyes, a grin crept onto your lips. After cleaning the wounds again and putting adhesive strips you were finally done.

“It shouldn’t leave bad scars if you take care of it seriously.” The gloves hit the open bin’s loop.

“Not the first scars ...and it’s not like we have the beach here so...” He grinned, putting down his top.

“Your friend might mind.” You taunted, he smirked.

“Well I’ll see that, he said putting on his jacket as you put away the kit.

The little hope you had faded at his saying. 

“When I have one.” he added.

“Oh … “ that’s all you could manage to say right now, finding out he was single took over any rational answer.

“Work is ... taking all my time.” His hand unconsciously reaching his belt where his badge hanged.

“Welcome to the club!” You slide your chair to the corner letting a sigh escape, seizing the tablet and typing the prescription on it.

“I’ve sent you the procedure to get ‘pretty’ scars, if someday you moved to the west coast.” The corners of his mouth turned up and he chuckled, you opened the door. Not that you weren’t having a good time with him, but work does come first.

“Or happened to have time for a girlfriend,” he coaxed brushing past you on the threshold.

“Or that, you laughed softly clutching the tablet on your chest, gazing at him.

“Careful!” you grabbed his forearm pulling him forward, he looked behind to see a nurse with a cart entering the treatment room 2. One of his hand had left his pocket as an unconscious protective move and was now on your ribs. His attention resumed to you, he felt his hand on you so immediately removed it.

“Sorry” his thumb hooking on his belt, you shook your head. 

You were still pretty close, you let your hand slide on his arm, brushing his fingers. 

“I don’t mind.” you smiled coyly.

 His lips parted “Could we...”

“Dr. Y/L/N?” you turned around to see a bunch of med students.

“Got to run, sorry” motioning to the group behind you.

He nodded, his jaw somewhat clenching.

“See you around?” he said taking a few steps backward.

“Hopefully not in the E.R” he smiled as you winked and turned to the group.

“All right, so today you’re with me, Dr. Y/L/N, observe, answer my questions and ask some, I’m insisting on this point don’t be afraid to ask, you’re here to learn.”  

 “Did it go well!?” she casually asked entering the locker room.

“You little brat," you laughed, "you’d do anything.” You closed your locker.

She paused “…f’course I would. Jamie told me you ended up quite close.” She wriggled her shoulders.

“Jamie? The med student?" She nodded, "it wasn’t like that, there was this nurse with the cart and,” ... you saw her smiled widely “all right! I may happen to know that he is single and straight for that matter.”

“Yes! Kinda guessed he was though.” She shrugged.

“Thank god he is single, or I could be dealing with a legit annoyed girlfriend right now.” 

She laughed out loud. “Come on, it’s not like you two make-out in corners and don’t tell me you’re not glad to know he is.”

You passed by her, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “Maybe,” you smiled.

“Wait for me! I want details!!” she rushed to her locker as you laughed, leaning on the door frame.

A week passed, one morning you had to calm Erin when you ran into Loki at the coffee shop, she franctically nudged at your arm and pretexted a call as soon as he aproached you. Stealing the car keys from your hand, she grabbed her latte and disappeared, letting you 5 minutes top with him.

She almost didn’t open the car, telling you by the ajar window that it was too fast and you had to go back talk to him.

In the middle of the night, your phone rang, scaring the shit out of you. You hope the hospital wasn't in need of a doctor. You hang off lazily putting the speaker on. 

“Hmm!?” You hummed eyes still closed.

“Y/N, something happened at the hospital, I don't know what to do!!” You heard sobbed and finally got everything she said.

“Rach? Rachel is Erin with you!?” She tried to answer mumbling something.

“All right, I'm coming to get you!” Stumbling out of bed, you grabbed a hoodie, hop into yesterday's jean and get down your stairs 2 by 2. Snatching your car keys on the way to the door.

“Shit!” The air was freaking cold against your bare face and bare feet in your shoes. Starting the engine, the clock on the board flashed 3:45 you'd be at Erin and Rach's in about 15 minutes.

15 minutes to remember that Erin was on shift all night, you started imagining the worst, unconsciously speeding up. After picking up Rachel, she explained she had a call from the police, there has been a shooting at the hospital.

You stopped breathing, tears coming up your eyes, preparing yourself for the worst, Erin, all the people you work with flowed in your mind... Rach continued with difficulty.

“Erin is fine, but they wouldn't let me know about the others. She was in the middle of it..” she sobbed.

“Where is she now, still at the hospital!?” you stroke her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

“At the police station, I told the officer we were coming.” you nodded and started back the engine.

Parking up at the police station you both rushed inside. The bustle was infernal, families were yelling at cops to know more about the shooting, if there were injured victims, some were still stained with blood, people were totally devastated. Concerned about your co-workers arise even more, you tried to remember tonight's planning. 

The officer behind the glass had you signed a presence paper before you entered the main open room. 

“ERIN! Rach wailed running to her loved one. 

You let a relief sigh escape your lips, stopping a few steps behind them, your hands on your trembling knees, you close your eyes and breath deeply. Even though Rachel had told you Erin was fine seeing her was the best proof. You hugged them both. Erin couldn't stop shaking, her eyes were puffy and receding, she kept looking at her bloody nurse blouse.

“Erin, hun, we need to remove your blouse, all right?“ you told her gently.

Rach helped her lift her arms as she was still in shock. Thankfully her top underneath didn't get stained. 

You waited, hours, in the station, there were many witnesses, worried families, paperwork. Around 6 am, the coffee machine had become your savior, forehead on the vending machine you were waiting for your 5th coffee, you knew at this rate caffeine won't be as effective, but it was better than staying seated in the main room with everyone. Most of your co-workers had left, some went back to the hospital, some went home, you started wondering what you would have done.

“Fuck!” You startled at the sudden voice, turning your attention to it, Loki came to you removing his beanie. An odd sense of safety overwhelmed you, he stopped a feet away.

“Are you okay!? He asked, his eyes sporting a worried look you hadn't seen yet.

“Yeah, I mean … I wasn’t at the hospital, he sighed somehow relieved, can you tell me more about all this? Who’s the shooter, my friend almost died tonight!” your voice cracked.

Your breath got caught in your throat, saying it out loud made it way too real, taking support on the vending machine you inhaled deeply. The strong behavior you put up for Rachel and Erin crumbled in a matter of seconds, tears prickling at your eyes, legs quivering, you clenched your fits trying to control yourself.

“Calm down, he took a step further grabbing your shoulders, hey you’re okay.” His hand reached the side of your neck, his thumb brushing your jaw, forcing eye contact with you.

“Breathe, your friend is safe, you are safe.” You nodded, his other hand sliding a strand of hair aside your face, you slowly regained your composure, concentrating your breathing on his.

He looked around, “Get your friend and follow me okay.“ He retrieved his hands becoming self-conscious, you stood straight up and sniffed, pulling yourself together, you waved at Rach to brought Erin as you followed Loki in an empty office. Erin sat on the two-place couch followed by Rachel. You stayed up as Loki sat on the desk.

“You remember the guy I brought in the hospital a few weeks ago? The guy who got shot by an officer and passed away...” 

“And stabbed you.” You cut him furrowing your brows.

"Yeah, … well, the shooter is his brother, we found multiple weapons in their house. Don’t ask me why he decided to take on the hospital, I don’t know yet. I’m just glad he’s a bad shooter, no loss, only injuries, bruises and shock are to deplore, he said looking at Erin, he’s been arrested immediately."

“Thanks for letting us know.” Rach nodded stroking Erin’s hair. He pursed his lips, looking away.

“Did someone took the deposition and brief you around the all procedure?” he asked Rach, then glanced at you.

“No, actually it’s been hectic, there are so many people out there,” you answered looking at the crowd behind the blinds.

“Okay, wait here” he stood up and disappeared a few minutes, you paced the office, biting your thumbnail, while Rach rocked Erin in her arms.

Loki came back with a laptop. “I’ll take your deposition, so you can go home.” he stated.

Lips parting in surprised, you watched him settle in the office.  “Thanks! you exclaimed, can we stay with her?” he nodded looking intently at you.

Erin hesitantly sat in front of him at the desk while you joined Rachel on the couch.

You tried not to stare at him as he was concentrated on his job, typing faster than you’ve imagined. You noticed his erratic blinking again, trying to remember in all the med books you had read where it could come from. Lost in the medical side of your brain you didn’t hear him said it was done. Rach nudged at your arm.

“Hm, sorry?” you blinked.

“The Detective said we could go.” Rachel replied taking Erin by the shoulders, she glanced at Loki then you.

“Oh all right.” You stood up and watch him open the door for them, Rach looked at you both.

“We’ll … wait in the car, Rachel said eyeing you intensely, you patted your hoodie’s pocket searching for your keys, she grabbed them and initiated a smile.

“I hope your friend will get through quickly.” He leaned on the door frame, crossing his arms.

“She’s strong, she’ll make it. And she has Rachel to rely on.” You watched the girls going through the crowded station.

He nodded. “Y/N … your name on his lips was oddly satisfying. I’m glad you weren’t at the hospital, I got … worried when I heard the radio call and that I couldn’t check on you.” He nervously scoffed. 

You genuinely were stricken by his saying, it didn’t occur to you that someone could have been worried for you, nevertheless him.

“That’s...nice, you sputtered,… thanks, uhm you clumsily look for your phone… here” you handed him, so he could register his number and get yours. 

He handed it back taking a step further. The adrenaline of tonight rushing out, you took a deep breath.

“Will you be okay?” he softly inquired.

“Yeah, I passed the panic stage.” you sneered squeezing your wrist.

“Can we meet later, he asked, I don't know how much time I'll have but ...” 

“Call me! you urged. I'll surely be at Erin's. Thanks again.” Your hand pressed against his chest and in a spunk, you kissed his right cheek. He smiled a little and so did you as you passed by him.

You were cooking breakfast, while Rach was helping Erin cleaned up when your phone rang, quickly you wipe your hands on your jean. 

“Hey, …” you recognized his voice.

“Hey...where are you?“ you inquired biting your lower lip

“Outside your friend's house.” 

“Ok, m'coming”

Putting back your hoodie on, you told Rach you were going out a few minutes.

The sun wasn’t up yet, an opaque mist covered the road and grass around the block. He was parked on the other side of the road, waiting for you outside his car. Crossing the road hands buried in your hoodie’s pocket, you felt the urge to hug him even though it was very sudden and very early in what was going on between the two of you but you just needed some support, taking care of Rach and Erin while being exhausted took a real toll on you.

“Can I be bluntly honest and maybe bold with you right now?” You asked stopping a few feet away from him.

“Go on” he answered amused.

“I won’t say no to a hug.” You balance on your feet but stopped as the cold entered your sweater.

“Bold indeed” he looked down, you thought you’d blown it.

He pushed himself from his car and grab your sleeve bringing you into his arms. Caging your body with a strong hold, he slid his arms around your shoulders, you felt tiny into his arms, yours encircling his waist inside his jacket. Resting your head on his chest, you felt his hand caressed your hair, you tightened your embrace. You shuddered at the feeling of one of his hand reaching your waist, his grip tightened.

“Get in the car, you’re freezing.” He whispered.

You sat in the passenger seat and scoot over to him, facing his way. Knocking an empty coffee cup over with your knee, the handbrake bruising your calf. His features relaxed, he looked down at your hand slipping in your sleeve to keep it warm. He reached out taking it between his.

“Did you sleep?” he asked, concentrating on your hand.

“I slept, … you count on your fingers, 4 hours since my last shift, you let out a stifled laugh, you didn’t sleep much either I bet.” you frowned.

“I don’t sleep a lot in general.” he looked away almost ashamed.

“I could look at you and say that.” you taunted, trying to change the mood. 

“Well, thanks” he chuckled, you shook your head laughing.

“Do you want breakfast? I was cooking some for the girls.” you pointed at the house.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” he peeked in the rear-view mirror as a woman opened her garage door.

“Oh…” you started retrieving your hand from his.

“I mean, grasping at your hand, your friend has gone through a lot, I bet she doesn’t want an officer in her house.” He offered a half-smile.

“Touché … but believe me, if it wasn’t for this night’s event, she would like to have you and me for dinner at least.” You laughed, knowing she would indeed be thrilled to see you dating him.

“Dinner sounds great though… you and me.” he blurted out, squeezing at your hand.

“Definitely.” you caught a glimpse of the door's house opening, Rach’s head popping out. He looked at his left following your look, Rach closed the door trying to be discreet.

“Thank you again, for earlier.” He looked back at you, you leaned in deposing a gentle kiss on his sharp jaw, taking way more time than necessary.

He blinked like he did earlier, you waited for a sign from him, something that would tell you to go further but it didn’t come.

“Try to sleep.” he released your hand after a gentle squizz, you nodded a bit confused.

“Was it the Detective from earlier?” Rach asked taking a glass of juice. Erin lifted her head from her untouched plate.

“It was, yeah.” You didn’t elaborate more thinking it wasn’t the right time.

“Tell me you didn’t blow your chance.” Erin suddenly mumbled.

“She talks! You scoffed, and a little smirk appeared on her face, and no I did not ..I think.., per contra.” You winked, pressing the last orange.

“She was in his car, really close to him.” Rach giggled.

“I missed that!” Erin whined.

You urged her to eat something, while they asked details about your encounter with Loki. They were relentless, but seeing Erin thinking about something else than the incident was great. Rachel and you busied her mind with some trivial topics all day. 

You wondered where it would get you. Getting in a relationship was not something you had in mind at first, but then again he didn't react when you kissed his cheek so you didn’t know where exactly this were going.

"Don't overthink this Y/N!" You scolded yourself.

Chapter 4 - Two birds, no stone