#i had to rant cause im so mad at people hating for the wrong reasons | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arunneronthird · 2 years ago

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Uhhhh, yikes this is probably very unpopular among older Jon fans, especially JonJay shippers and this is probably just an excuse to rant but you cannot convince me otherwise that Jay Nakamura isn't a corporate oc. Don't get me wrong, his story and character in itself doesn't bother me but the reasons of his existence and the method of his conception have made him really bothersome and he ends up disgusting me. He is forced into a role of being Jon's equal when that can easily be dilled by existing characters. His "romance" with Jon was so rushed because they had to make a kiss happen in Pride Month, he checks off every box to be the perfect boyfriend to Jon it is actually very concerning (is a reporter who is also a fan of Jon's mom?? Happens to be someone Jon's best friend admires??) Of course some people believed he was a secret villian, he was too convenient. He annoys me because of it, he is so pushed to be Jon's romantic interest that it just ends up making him bland and overrides any actual character potential he had. The editors and writers don't care for him to take time in having him be a character just have him pushed as much as possible to cater to being Jon's romantic interest. I think DC should've have focused in having audience grow to like him before pining him to another character and have him ride on his popularity instead. But that's just me.

we will get cancelled together anon, also believe me, older fans genuinely do not give a shit about jay or jon for that matter, they care about the alan moore era joker and how bad superman films are and for that i respect them inmensely, i wanna be exactly that insufferable when im older

anyway, i think all decisions regarding the bendis era onwards are dc decisions made based on wanting to reach a new specific audience, but fun fact we the gays were here forever cause batman and robin are the least straight coded people on the planet but sure, lets ruin jon

i am okay with old jon now, but the start was... really fabricated wasnt it? which is not necessarily always a bad thing, tims existence was a dc decision which was "I DONT CARE THAT U HATE JASON WE WANT KIDS IN OUR AUDIENCE" and i respect it and i love tim

that being said, in the words of someone better at english than i am, jay feels... so preachy... hes perfect, hes beautiful, and everyone loves him and hes perfect for jon cause tom taylor said so but like, asides fromhaving a truth newspaper (were the truth is!!!!) telling everyone that they are not doing enough cause they arent supporting 45683 causes every hour of the day and saving the eastern box turtles and newborns in southern portugal and family owned ballerina shoe shops and making jon do whatever he wants what does he do

honestly i think i dont like him for the simple reason that he genuinely makes me feel the way politicians at debates make me feel

not gonna add too much about him being pushed into the narrative just before pride month cause i will actually Get Mad and i am trying to make this funny to read but just know i agree that the timing is suspicious and that he feels so hurried and perfectly constructed to work that i couldnt get into it

#i WISH i could like him #pls dont cancel me okay? love u <3 #also him being a lois fun is actually v funny and id love it in another context cause what are the fucking odds

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coastxlwaters · 5 months ago

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*cough* hullo i hope this isnt a strange or rude thing to say- but as like. a person from the side of sams who likes to ship things, i very much love and appreciate how kind you are!!! some people who dont like to ship things (which is 1000% okay btw, we all have our preferences) are. very big on harassment (and so are some people who *do* ship things, to be fair), but you are just. a nice person!!! ive seen you advocate to leave shippers alone and to not harass them, and that you should just block people you dont agree w instead of pestering them. and i thank you for that a whole lot, sincerely!!!

okay thats it buh bye

-bird

You just made my day, its not weird! I love to get these kinds of things, and yes im against harassing others for their own preferences. I do not like to make my blog about this stuff, and i do follow many shippers! Their art is super cool, and i just avoid the shipping parts they make. I mean, im not a romantic shipper (other than solruin) but i do have a QPR ship of dark sun/solstice x eclipse. I have lost many, many followers and mutuals from that and i dont want other people to have that feeling of dread or sadness when they watch their follower count go down or be blocked by sm they would once call their friend. It really does hurt even if you understand the reason why.

I do draw the line of shipping when it comes to minor x adult though, so i am not some amazing person who has the ability to forgive everything. I appreciate that i have had several asks like this that have made it seem like that, but i am not that great of a person.

I also think there are some that do not ship that go and harass others that dont ship under the disguise of being sm who does ship so it throws more hatred to the ones who do ship and enjoy that. I think that as i have seen it happen many times IRL and in other fandoms. Its a way to make the other side look bad, it usually works.

Im not saying that shippers do not harass, as i have seen some that do, but i am saying both sides are in the fault here.

Im adding this here:

Do. Not. Hate. The. Show. For. Disliking. Some. Ships.

They are real people who also have boundaries and preferences, we understand that yall ship the characters and not the VAs (i mean, some have done that and you really shouldnt do that) but think of it like this.

You and your sibling/close friend (just sm who you dont feel romantic attraction to) make ocs, you post them online. Then people start shipping them. You would get uncomfortable, right? Since a part of your brain is thinking: “but me and my (non romantic partner) dont like eachother like that, but now yall are making this stuff and making us uncomfortable.“

Ofc i feel as if the VA’s could have handled some things better, but we are all human and make mistakes. Just dont bring them into this. So tag your stuff correctly, do not harass, and enjoy the stuff that you enjoy and ignore the stuff you dont. Thats what you call basic human decency, you can be mad at them all you want in your head as long as you dont say it.

Sorry for the long rant, but i cant reblog stuff like this due to being blocked by people who do say stuff like this so i wanted to get this out and on my blog. And i swear to god do not go annoy or harass the people who do say this stuff and saying “why did u block this person!“ they have their reasons for blocking me and others and we should respect them. I have seen people who do this and i dont like it. So dont go harass another person for blocking sm you may think is nice. For all you know i could be a bitch and asshole irl and they know me irl and thats why they blocked me.

Dont harass or get angry at sm until you can see it from their point of view. Since you dont know what they are seeing that you are not.

(but this ask did make my day! Im literally so happy rn cause i try to practice what i preach but smt i feel like i fail or do the wrong thing that makes me look like a hypocrite!!)

#coastal’s mumbles #lucid does shit #tsams discourse #tsams #sun and moon show #sorry for the rant

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emjenckel · 3 months ago

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oh my gosh i have just finished season 3 of angel the series im just so mad. haven’t been this disappointed in a while.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??

first, cordelia’s hair omg baby who hates you so much? it has nothing to do with her, the short brunette was growing on me but the pixie blond is just ugh.

and as long as we’re talking about cordelia, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? that shit was out of nowhere. sure, she has some moments but that was it ?????? that’s not good enough to become higher being?????? and why the fuck was she gone for so many episodes????? and why the fuck was groo there??? he didn’t have any narrative purpose, he was just there to stall angel and cordelia’s inevitable relationship (idk if it’s coming, but i got a hunch).

ALSO ALSO the whole thing with wes was insane???? ok he fucked up BUT SO HAVE ALL OF YOU, angel just smothering him with a pillow while my guy was in a hospital bed, KNOWING he could still die/have complications from the post op, just wtf????? i get it, he was mad because of his son but still, wes was trying to protect connor, it’s not like he did it with malicious intent, and it wasn’t even his fault, it was holtz’s cult and the crazy chick’s. i’m so mad none of them gave him a chance to explain, they left him alone in that hospital while he was healing from a wound he got from trying to help the team (again). fred going there and saying all those things to him like she had the right, gunn not even checking on him - they were supposed to be friends ????? - cordelia saying the only opinion she cares about is angel’s. GIRL MIGHT I REMIND YOU, not one year ago angel was going all evil doing things without thinking of the consequences, WHO HAD YOUR BACK? WESLEY! same for gunn!!!!!

they all just turned their backs at him when he most needed, i’m baffled, it’s so out character for all of them. especially angel who’s all about forgiveness, repentance blah blah blah…

also the crazy chick, why did she stick around this long? who gives a fuck about her???? just so one dimensional, like she’s got a good reason to hate vampires but she’s so hateful and annoying, just die already.

the plot with connor was ok i guess, but towards the end of the season when he comes back as a teenager, just like a big no for me, maybe it’s the actor who’s not selling it for me, but idk like, doesn’t feel genuine, just like so many problems all to result in him sending angel to the bottom of the ocean, so ridiculous. makes me so mad. guy’s really creepy. idk anyways, just a rant cause i have no one to talk to about this.

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hohoz · 4 years ago

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The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise.

But let’s explain why is that:

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad.

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away.

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary)

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake.

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall.

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story.

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that)

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog)

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this:

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue.

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this:

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening.

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ?

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore)

RESIDENT EVIL 5

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this:

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit.

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles.

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE.

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US.

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life.

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time.

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event)

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex

So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab”

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character.

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game.

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS.

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that.

So now let’s analyse what we know:

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse...

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this:

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model)

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see��“Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that”

But still...

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8

(to me this is some random dude from Russia)

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER)

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices.

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations)

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy.

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old.

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

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reqvlvs · 3 years ago

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I wondered what you thought about Eddie's trauma and the way he deals with it, which always felt close to home due to his unhealthy coping mechanisms (anger management, etc.), do you feel like it's nearly suicidal (at least during the street fighting) or is it something else? (Always thought there was too much guilt for it to be only control-)

I thought when I first saw the scene between Eddie and Bobby, when they finally talk, that they should put an emphasis on the control part, like- It felt like it was downplayed (somewhat?), like they tried to make it only about his stoic facade when I think it could have been a nice way (narratively and development wise) to introduce more plainly his toxic relationship with his parents (his suffocating life and his insistance to not have Chris be with them and be trente-deux like he did). Because it could have opened the door on the stigma of power being a trait/need for men, an idea that could have been drilled by his father... (which they implied/not really talked about during his fights with Shannon)

Also, I read one of your rants, and that made me remember, one of the things I hate the most when reading Buddie fanfics is when they make Buck react about the Street Fighting by making him say stupid things like, did you think about Christopher, the people who love you, your job, ect, like he didn't have it in mind, like it doesn't contribute to his pain- When you're feeling down, or worse when you're depressed, you isolate yourself, you make it all about you because it's all you can see- Those people then try and teach a lesson when they're the ones who make depressed people feel like they are worthless- I just can't (it's not necessarly true to every single one of them but it's still too true)

Anyways :')

I'm trying to write this fanfic but can't seem to find motivation- Your posts were a really funny distraction! So thank you 💞💞

(PS: Castiel and Crowley were a fantastic duo that I would have loved to see together lol)

Hey! thank you so much for this and i will be more than happy to answer because i have a lot of opinions on this topic

First of all i wouldn't say his actions (regarding street fighting) were suicidal simply because of the fact that he had Chris and didn't want to let Chris down. however, i do think it has a lot to do with wanting to use the physical pain to distract from the emotional pain that he was dealing with. personally i believe he was raised in a household where it was drilled into him that men don't feel, and when they do they get over it, hence why we see him get back to work so quickly after Shannon's death. he wasn't raised with the mind set that what he was feeling was normal and something he didn't just have to get over. the ladder truck plus the tsunami ON TOP of shannon's death just made a whole mess of his emotions and the only one he really understood was his anger. his guilt he felt towards not saving shannon (or maybe the belief that he caused her death) and for buck and christopher during the tsunami manifested itself in this uncontrollable rage that he couldn't figure out how to let out.

in the talk with Bobby you come to realize how much they didn't really know about eddie regarding Shannon because he kept it mostly hidden. they didn't even find out until way after she died that she wanted a divorce. they assume control is the reason eddie is the way he is, because he's always the one in control of everything but frankly, he isn't and that's why he's so angry. even before, he wasn't in control when shannon left him. he wasn't in control regarding the way his and shannon's marriage (was going to, anyways) ended. he wasn't in control of the situation when buck was stuck under the truck. he wasn't in control when christopher was lost. he's always losing his grip on all these situations and he can't do anything about it and he's angry because he just wants to be able to control something in his life.

and honestly i think it does have a lot to do with his parents, again. he was raised (in my opinion) with the idea that he was the man, he was the husband, he was the father, he was the provider and he was to stay in control of everything around him. he tried to keep that for so long, he tried his hardest to be the one who dictated and handled situations and once he realized that he couldn't, he was angry. he felt disappointed in himself for not being what was expected of him. i think another part of his anger regarding his parents is the simple fact that his parents were constantly pointing out what he was doing wrong with christopher and showing him how he was a terrible father for "letting" his wife die after coming back into christopher's life. another way of proving the thought they drilled in his need for control all his life.

and you make an extremely valid point in regards to the street fighting thing!! they make it seem like eddie was unaware of the fact that buck and christopher and the 118 were there when he was more then aware of the fact that they were there, he just didn't want to hurt him. coming back to the control thing, maybe he felt like if he could just hold on to this one thing that he knew he had control of, it'd be fine, and soon enough he wouldn't he angry more and he'd stop. obviously that wasn't the case and frankly that's why i think he was so mad at Lena when he thought she told Bobby. he truly thought he had the handle on the situation, he got control of who did and didn't know, but suddenly someone else had that control and he was once again thrown off by the lose.

i know i went on about control even thought it wasn't the main focus, but i think there's a lot more to it than they were implying.

thank you so much!! im glad my posts helped and im super excited about your fic :))

(castiel and crowley are literally everything to me)

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svnarintaro · 4 years ago

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it’s too late to say sorry

update: part two is up and you can read it here

authors note: IM IN A IMAGINE WRITING SPREE SOMEONE STOP ME PLEASE also i like using different names for the same characters im sorry :/

synopsis: hitoshi shinsou is known to be a top tier player, you only saw his as a jerk that toyed with other people's feelings, he was on his way for changing for the better; but he blew it.

word count: 1.9k words

warnings: !quirkless au! angst!!

!f*ckboy! hitoshi shinsou x reader

him and his entire demeanour pissed you off, you were not someone that was hateful but man did this man get on your nerves. girls and guys were falling like flies case of his 'irresistible' aura, the thought made you scoff. he was just another one of those players that care for thing other than themselves and you were sick of this whole pedestal that people put them on, and him oh how you wanted to knock them down and make them taste the reality of their destruction.

you and your best friends kendo and monoma were discussing what material you missed when you were sick on the way to the cafeteria, kendo perked up as if she remembered important information "oh also about the seating plan in chem.." you groaned and tilted your head back in annoyance, "don't tell me i'm sitting to this trust fund kid," you sarcastically pointed your thumb at the boy to your right, "shut it my dear peasant, you are a charity case to me so be grateful-" and as he was finishing up his sentence he got smack to the back of his head. "kendo that hur-" "be grateful that we haven't left you sorry butt yet." she let out a huff and continued what she was about to say as the three of you got to the cafeteria she took a shaky breath, "you kinda next to shinsou.."

you choked on air, "no no no no, i don't want o be next to a barney headed jerk-" before your rant even started you were cut off by the person behind you. "so you wanna continue talking about me behind my back or do you wanna say it to my face sweetheart, take your pick," you knew that voice, all too well. "first of all save your disgusting nicknames for a person that actually likes you." you turned your heel to give him the dirtiest glare you could fathom to show hitoshi shinsou.

"aww don't be like that baby.. i already know you'll turn around~" his smirk did not fall for a second, it only grew by the minute. "look i'm not looking to have anything on my criminal record, so if you want to keep your limbs in one piece i suggest you take my advice and piss off with my parting gift." you brought your fist to your mouth and shoved your middle finger in our mouth, and you proceeded to pull it out and flip him off and caught up with kendo and monoma who were laughing. 'they really are something else hm?' shinsou thought.

"man does he really put you in a bad mood hm?" neito teased and handed you the sandwich you wanted, "yeah she really did flip him off this time and threaten him?! i think that is the nicest exchange they've had all year!" kendo wheezed out, as you payed for your food you looked back to see shinsou sitting with his friends.

"so let's get this straight, you single handed moly pissed someone off so often they called you barney head, say they might break your limbs AND flip you off?!" kaminari screeched, while todoroki was purely confused, "did shinsou lose his ability to flirt his way out of this situation or something? cause honestly i feel like you lost you mojo a little bit." sero snorted at todoroki, "did you really have to say 'mojo'?" shinsou was just trying to figure out how to woo you now, his ultimate revenge as to get you to like him and break your heart and pummel it to smithereens.

now you had your chemistry class, and you were lab partners with shinsou, the given thought of being within a 2 metre radius of him mad you dread the class. the moment you walked in the class you saw a girl on his lap, her uniform was two sizes too tight, playing with his hair and her skirt rode up to show her red undergarments. "daddy~ can't we just skip?" you gagged at that nickname, the two of them stopped what they were doing and looked at you. the girl looked you up and down and she was obviously annoyed at your presence. "oh don't mind me i'm just a poor witness to see your panties on full display," you shrugged and made your way to your seat, "at least i have someone interested me," the girl smugly said, you rolled your eyes, "at least my coochie isn't free real estate."

the girl let out a 'hmph' and stormed out out the class, "free real estate? that's a new one." you didn't bother looking at him, and you opened your notebook and brought your data booklet out not even sparing him a glance. meanwhile the guy in front of you asked for a pen and you immediately complied and gave him one. hitoshi has never felt more offended from getting ignored and blown off again.

later in the class the teacher gave a worksheet to work on and you got stuck on a certain question and you didn't know what to do, "you forgot to balance the reaction so that's why you got the wrong answer." you looked to see shinsou looking at you, elbow on his table, "for someone who doesn't bother with class you remember a few things." you proceeded to add numbers to the elements that were written. for the rest of the class he continued to help you with your worksheet and the two of you got along for once. 'huh he may not be as bad as i thought he was.'

for the rest of the month he acted like this and it showed you that he wasn't the monster you thought he was, he was kind, considerate, funny and sweet. he avoided other girls too, "to think that you changed shinsou is actually kind of crazy, you're way more tolerable this way," you whispered as the two of you sat together and worked on some chemistry notes together, on his end of the story he was freaking out, he never felt this way, h heart was pounding out of his chest. he wanted it to stop, he was afraid. afraid of you not liking him back, he was afraid of commitment, he was afraid that he wasn't good enough for you.

"listen kaminari it is a reasonable plan, get them to like me, have them fall in love with me and boom i break up with her." for the past hour kaminari has been listening to shinsou on the phone go on and on about how he wanted to mess around with you, "they're an interesting person, they've got guts." the blond giggled, "i mean if you wanna quit the plan and hand them over to me-" "don't think about it rat."

meanwhile he was thinking about how he was so calm around you, he felt the need to drop his act and be himself around you. "looks like someone is getting attached~"

really? did he get attached? no what would be too cliché for his own good. so he sought his time to be taken by girls, other girls where were desperate to be in his attention span, "hey kaminari give me the number of every one of your flings i need to let off some steam.." shinsou needed to get you off his mind.

on the other hand you were talking to kendo, "okay look i know that i said he was trash and whatever but he changed and.. i think i might like him." you were gushing over all the sweet things he did, all the sweet things he said, you saw all the signs that he returned your feelings. "i say go for it! shoot your shot when you can, just be careful and know that me and neito are here for you and will beat him up if he dares hurt you." kendo was really on edge with him, it was as if shinsou got possessed and she knew something wasn't right, but if he made you happy she couldn't stop you. "thank you kendo~"

it was as if a switch was flipped, the Hitoshi shinsou that you hated was back and had more playthings than ever, make out sessions in the halls, skipping classes to fool around with anyone and what hurt the most was that he was avoiding you like the plague. “he is going through a phase right now, i promise he is better than this you saw how he was weeks ago please guys you have to believe me.” you were crying in monomas room about your ruined week. you knew what was the truth and that was that you were played, you were a fool to think that he was changing for the better. “i knew he was a jerk, y/n you deserve better than this, you deserve someone that will really appreciate you, someone that won’t have to change and will be who they really are in front of you..” you looked up from lap and stared at monoma and kendo. ‘these are my people, they will never betray me.’ “i love you guys,” you declared as you threw your arms around their necks and cried your heart out. ‘hitoshi shinsou you will pay for doing me dirty like this.’

kendo forced you to stay home and rest, you were stressed and not in the head space to be at school right now. it was now lunch and kendo was livid, and was stomping down the corridor to give a piece of your mind to the jerk that broke your heart. “shinsou, i got a bone to pick with you.” she yelled at the purple haired boy, ‘finally i can see how y/n is doing’ he completely misread her words and saw them as an invitation to act buddy buddy with her so he jogged over. however he was not expecting a fist to the face, “you undeniable monster! do you know what you did to her?! you gave her false hope and you have the audacity to think that you can get anything about how she is right now?” her words truly leaked poison and showed she was not playing around, he had hurt you, and he needed to repent. “you think your pathetic superiority complex is something to sneeze at and turn a blind eye to? you think that just because you can play with peoples emotions you’re better than everyone else? well here’s what i think.” groups of people were surrounding everyone and were listening to kendo’s rant, shinsou’s heart dropped, he knew what this meant, he had hurt you. with each sentence the gap between the two got smaller until she got into his face and continued.

“it is disgusting how you can switch your act to lower other people’s guard and once they do so they are underneath your discrepancy and you crush them with no mercy,” flashes of you trying to talk to the guy you liked were flashing into keno’s head, she watched as he broke you down until you were pieces and now she was there for you as you were hopelessly trying to pick them up. a breath broke her flow of thoughts and brought her a second of peace. “stay away from my best friend.” and thats when the world stopped for shinsou, he did all of this to protect himself, he was scared cause there was a chance you could’ve liked him back but he ignored that and hurt you instead. “i’m sorry..” was all that he could say at this point. he couldn’t express anything right now, he was malfunctioning. “it’s too late to say sorry.”

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word-addict-lisette · 3 years ago

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Dear Lisette,

I am back in you inbox, yay! How was your day? How's life? How's school?

I am really mad because we had this piece of work and it was like "pen down your idea on this statement, 'i can do whatever i want on the internet as long as i don't get caught' and i put down my thoughts which were 'this statement is true, i stand by it and you can do whatever you like as long as you don't get caught and don't own up' and then people were like throwing shade at me and i looked at it. I have 5 comments.

My teachers tried to delete it, my classmates literally lectured me and then she read it out loud and the whole class went looking for that one note i made. In the comments, people are spelling my name in caps. It was my opinion, and oh, look all of them are basically hypocrites. Let me just say, these people make me uncomfortable, they don't talk about exactly nice things or approriate things and they are all commenting ( without names too may i add) like "KAT, THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK!" but with my real name and just arghhh.

Also if my teachers wanted me to say, "no, that isn't the right thing to do," or any other answer that the others provided them with, they shouldn't have asked for my opinion. They should have just forced us all to just type the same thing. The other people all wrote like, "no, its unethical and bad" or "False, no, its bad" and stuff like that, filmsy evidence and elaboration. I HAVE MORALS, i am just saying the truth. I feel like the victim of a hate crime. People don't like me enough already, i am a very intresting person, uh, yeah, we are gonna stop there.

Enjoy the rant i guess? I don't know? I am sorry for loading on you but there's a little extra rant so uh, yeah. im just gonna take this out, one sec.

Ok, so uh my teacher was like, next week, we are making pancakes. Fluffy pancakes. It was changed to pancakes without eggs? and now we have to make it ourselves, at home. Where do i get flour? What do i do with the extra flour? I don't know how to cook at all, my partner who has been extremely controlling and like kinda driving me insane, ( ahem i did the whole coursework) also she uses my friend's name for everything? Like, bestie i was literally helping out and you went all, "Oh you don't want (friend's name) to see you burnt right?". Obviously i don't but if i burnt down my house, she wouldn't be surprised. I BURNT MYSELF LAST YEAR, SHE SAW ME BURN MYSELF. Well, my friend burnt me and then the week after that, she burnt herself.

This happens a lot. Also, the very common questions and statements of, "Are you straight?" , "aren't you and (friend's name) dating?", "you guys would make such a cute couple" , " aren't you bi?" and "i thought the two of you were dating," there is nothing wrong with being bi but i am not attracted to her like that. So, they use her for leverage over me to get me to do what they want and also think im dating her? If we were dating, we would both be homeless. I like my house. This doesn't only happen with her. I once got shipped with my brother. I hugged him and some guy was like, "oh you guys like each other," that was awkward. Can i just add, a lot of people like majority of that community know we are siblings.

I also get shipped with his best friend, thanks to a rumor my brother made up. So, sometimes, i would get like comments like, "oh, you like him" or "(brother's name) told me that you and (brother's best friend) are dating," we are not dating. WE ARE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. I LIKE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. LEAVE ME ALONE. Also, everytime i have a picture of a guy on my phone or something my cousin just has to tell my brother. THEY ARE STREAMERS. ONE IS OF V FROM BTS SO I CAN TRAMATISE MY FRIEND.

Everytime i cry, someone comes in my room. It is so annoying. LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANT TO CRY. This is why i started reading sad books, listening to sad songs, watching sad movies so i have a reason to cry. There was this once, i wasnt selected to be part of my choir's competition and i was sad about it because i didn't feel good enough. THEY SAID I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. So, i cried but it wasn't enough so i read the saddest book i could find so i had a reason to cry but by that time, my feelings were gone. This is why i get breakdowns when im overwhelmed because of all this. You know how old i am. I have to deal with this and the pressure of always wanting to be perfect. What else can i do? I am not pretty or smart or talented or have friends, i have like 6 friends and nobody ever keeps me company. So, i focus on being perfect. 100%, i deal with not having any attention because my parents didn't pay me any attention just because i was "independent" or something?

Did i mention, i babysit all my siblings? I am the second child. I baby-sit my older brother. I am sleep-deprived because i can't sleep well at night and i constantly worry about everything and i have to take care of all my friends and it is so exhausting. Yet, i can not cry.

Thanks for staying with me through whatever that was. Uh, yeah, i took the quiz and got chaotic academia. That is my aesthetic. I really want one of those fancy skirts they wear like on pintrest and stuff? Like you know what i mean? The academia skirt? Yeah, i don't have one yet.

Question of the day, what is your dream profession or you could answer my other question which is what would you want to look like? Or you could answer both?

Ok, thank you again. i am gonna go study. Love and hugs and just literal joy sent your way!

- Kat, the ultimate dino mom of Leo, Billy Bob, Jessica, Sophie, Jackson, Sarah, Lily, the Micheals and all her other kids. (Jessica, Sophie and Jackson are mailboxes and Lily is a computer, Micheal is my screwdriver and laptop pencil, there are two micheals.)

Dear Kat,

It's really good to see you in my inbox. I'm sorry for replying late, but exams really had occupied my schedule today and I got my Saturday exam tomorrow. This week is going to be stressful and today's day has been pathetic. I had nothing to do except study and write exams. I feel like I haven't really been social recently and That I'm losing touch with people that I used to be close with and basically I'm letting overthinking take over my mind.

That is so sick. Why is someone's genuine opinion bothering them so much? I totally wouldn't be able to tolerate that. They ought to understand that there is a fine line between a fact and an opinion, and what you stated was just an OPINION. they have no right whatsoever to come at you like that. I totally agree... the teachers ought to have not asked for your opinion if all they desired was a particularly specific answer which opposed the statement. one of the reasons I hate the schooling system has to be THIS. people who are putting comments like that ought to realize that what you stated is exactly what they do in real life. They just want to be seen as the good kid here. At least you have the guts enough to speak the truth.

Miss! You don't have to worry about ranting out to me. You can rant to me for days and I'd still listen. Just go on ranting nobody is stopping you.

Ahhh! I've had that happen to me. I really understand how tough that can be. I really really hate being shipped with someone who I am just platonically friends with like you've got no valid proof to believe that we are romantically involved with each other. I've burnt myself plenty of times too. It's not a pleasant experience. Plus I also hate having controlling partners. Cause all they do is boss you around while they are barely doing a thing. It sucks.

Why? Just why? Why does it even matter to them? Who you date and what your sexuality is, is none of their business. I have no idea why people concern themselves with topics that really don't involve them. It's like people are just ready to make gossip out of anything. A person can't have a bestie without not liking them? I don't get what's so difficult to understand about that. I hate it when I'm casually talking to a guy and people start shipping us and start spreading rumors of us being in a romantic relationship. Another thing they do is, if a person likes me, they automatically assume that I like him back when I've barely even ever spoken to that guy. And yes! I like fictional characters! Don't even assume I like any of you fools cause You idiots bully me and ship me with total crackheads... And my standards are good enough for me to not include you guys in my list of *appropriate candidates* which consists of non-existent people.

Similarly, the moment I'm chatting with some guy, or like have a pic with someone on my mobile phone people just assume that fact that I'm crushing on him. Like no! I don't. We are friends... the others are celebrities, Why can't you understand that? I can't imagine how thick their skull must be considering they can't let a small statement like that sink in.

The crying thingy... I feel personally attacked. Nobody lets me do anything in peace, let alone crying. I literally use the washroom in my room and even my sister comes in there just banging on the door asking me to get the heck out of there and go somewhere else, like can't she use the other two washrooms or what? I like listening to sad stuff and reading angst cause somehow or the other it calms me down... it makes me feel at peace cause I know I'm not the only one who feels like crying. I've got a lot of friends, nobody remembers my birthday, I remember all of theirs'. They don't even text me, It's always me who takes the first step. All my friends just want me by their side cause I'm a smartass they want to show off as a trophy and cause I've got much better sarcasm than them. They just want to benefit from me. That's all. GOD, I'm not pretty at all. I look like a random idiot all the time. I look pathetic. And I lack talent... And you! I warned you, miss! You are pretty, beautiful, talented, smart, friendly, caring, kind and THE BEST!!!

I've never been given attention. Never ever. My sister has always stolen the spotlight. And I hate it. Not even my friends acknowledge me, my parents just ehhhhh. No matter how good I score, No matter how good I behave, No matter what. I'm just never good enough. My parents think of me as a rebellious kid. And I don't know what to do about that. All I've ever done is listen to them. My parents never allowed me to go out and play with my friends when I was a kid, they never let me go on overnight trips, and they barely let me spend time with the few friends I have. They never let me go to outings my school friends planned. Despite that, I never complained. I never had good friends because of that, yet I never complained. A lot of kids my age roam around in shopping malls by themselves, have sleepovers, spend money, roam around with tons of makeup on their faces, are in relationships, and even get into illegal shit. I've never done anything Like that. And yet... I'm never the good kid. I'm still the rebel.

I've got to take care of my sister almost every day. Get her to study, study myself, take care of myself while tolerating my grandmother. I really don't like my grandma, she s very fussy and just keeps yelling around the house the moment my dad and mom leave the house. I've got sensory overload because of her voice. And now I sit and have an anxiety attack almost every time she speaks. I've always got to strive for perfection as well. And I too can't sleep well at night just cause all the worries of the world, keep weighing me down.

Chaotic academia sounds good. It's the same aesthetic my sister got when I asked her to take the test! And oooh! Me too! I love those skirts and outfits they show on Pinterest. I'd love to have them someday.

My dream profession has to be that of a writer. Or perhaps even running a library. just something cozy. Ohh! I'd love to have brown hair, and I'd want to be tall just a little shorter than What I am right now. I just reached my father's height yesterday. And more or less, I'd like the rest to stay just as it is. and perhaps a lighter shade of skin tone. What about you though?

My question for you! If you were to be stranded on a beach island for a week. Who would you bring with you and how would you spend your time there. You can include whatever elements of nature you want to include like forests, lakes, and all.

Sending love, warmth, hugs, and whatever I have to spare that you would like to you!!!!

-Love from Lisette

P.S. That's an interesting family you've got, right there!

#kat the eccentric(indeed)#sweet sweet asks #dear kat #love from lisette #long post

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bart-tsunami · 4 years ago

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its time for a rant and im valid. tw: anti-vaxxers

my Christian tm grandmother is an anti-vaxxer and suggested i do more research on the covid vaccine and implied i shouldnt get it (i will, making my appointment as soon as i am eligible). she also said she wouldnt get the dog vaccinated if shes due for anything on monday. she also told me that she could send me a vid from some anti-vax “doctor” who spreads the FALSE claim that vaccines cause autism. this 70 year old, fully (except covid) vaccinated woman, who has never had an adverse reaction to a vaccine and is not, nor does she know anyone who is autistic. how can she seriously think that vaccines cause autism when she knows SO many fully vaccinated, healthy, and non autistic people. this same woman is sure she is going to heaven even though she only recently “came around” on her opinion of lgbt people (recent as in, only stopped being outwardly homophobic after my rich second cousin (who spoils her and my great aunt even though they dont deserve it) and I came out in 2016/17 (and she was also told she would be cut out and not allowed to see me if she cannot accept me, so i think she only does because it means she would be alone since my aunt cut her out already for other reasons)). anyway, she sucks and voted tr**p and STILL thinks he has a chance. also her wacc ass christianity makes me so mad. they are the worst. all she does is hate people and be openly very racist and my siblings and i have to pretend we are also religious because it would be a huge issue if we werent. she ruined the idea of christianity for us. i know not all christians are like her but i do not trust a single one after what she and her religion put my mom through (and my mom isnt perfect but this isnt about her). its wrong to say i dont like her but the only reason i do is because we are related and she does do nice things for us. if she were just some woman i was introduced to i wouldnt like her at all. i know im not a saint and in fact am kinda a bad person for this but FUCK she gets right under my skin

#me

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txdoroki · 4 years ago

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rant lol

tw maybe? idk it's just me talking about my daddy issues as always so idk .. maybe tw for negative talk/anger? i dunno, i just wouldn't read anyways cuz it's just something i needed to get out lolll

no need to read once again.

also im sorry for always ranting here its like the one space i go to about my problems when stuff is overwhleming yk

il probably delete this in the morning idek

i wish my dad was someone i could look up to. i miss him being my best friend, and him calling me nicknames that were comforting. now it's like every conversation we're going against each other constantly, and every single time i see someone having fun with their dad it makes me so envious. what did i do to deserve my dad to be shitty? why do bad things always happen to me? what did i do to deserve my trust in everyone to be destroyed, what did i do for that. i wish i could apologize to my younger self, all she wanted was to have a good dad and a father figure that wasn't emotionally unavailable. she was so forgiving, so sweet. where did i go wrong. she was so kind to everyone, and believed that everyone had good in their hearts. i wish she still existed, i wish i wasn't the way i was. i wish she was proud of me, but i have the feeling she's weeping somewhere inside of me.

there's nothing i want more than to be able to forgive my dad. everyone tells me how important it is for me to have a good relatioship with him,, and how i'll always regret being this way. i can't help it. whenever i see him, i'm so fucking mad. i want to hurt him double to how he's hurt me. it's only right. i can't look at him and think "oh, he deserves a good life" all i see is someone who deserves all the pain he's been given. he destroyed my family, he destroyed my hope in the world, he destroyed everything. he doesn't deserve to be forgiven. but i want to so badly. i want to be able to look at him and think "that's my best friend, that's someone who is there for me" but i can't. i can't think that about someone who i would cry over every night for years straight. people say he was a good dad and it pisses me off. sure he'd make me laugh, but that was because i wanted so badly for him to pass me any attention. he always preferred other people, he was always busy. he didn't have the time. so i craved any attention from anyone. he was literally friends with the dude that groomed me, and he didn't try to stop it. and he didn't try and tell my mom. he just let it happen. he claims he loves me, but you don't hurt someone you love over and over and over.

he says he wants to have a good relationship, but just fucking guilts me about every damn thing. i can't fucking deal with it. i'm exhausted of always having to be on guard when he's around anyone in my fami;y because i'm the only one that actually recognizes his guilt tripping. he's completely ruined all of our mental healths, and still thinks he's the victim. he turns everything on us, and claims he's an amazing father. how stupid is he? why can't he see how we all would be better off if he moved away with the family he cheated with. we clearly don't matter to him anyways.

i pretend i'm not upset constantly cause he always looks down on ppl that seem upset. i hate people like that. the one thing i never want to be in life is him. he constantly fires after my mom, and they both get mad when i defend her from his words. i don't understand what i'm doing wrong. i always feeel like a horrible daughter. if i wasn't born, then my mom wouldn't have been trapped in a relationship with him. why doesn't she resent me.

i just want my dad to be my friend again. but he never will be, and it hurts so bad. it's like a hole in my gut that will never be fufilled because the one thing that can fix it is unattainable. just when i was starting to get a grip on my mental health, i find out all of this.

even my therapist says he hasn't done much wrong, is it really me overreacting? i don't even listen to her anymore. she said that i was overreacting when i told her about other things that o have trauma from, and she said it wasn't actually trauma. i don't know what to do. i feel so trapped bro. writing is my only form of escape and half of the time i don't even want to write because i have absolutelyy no energy.

anyways if you read this for some reason sorry to bother lol i just needed to get it out, probably will have some sort of mha post tonite !!

#rants.m #mack has daddy issues

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karmalondon · 5 years ago

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#BlackLivesMatter

I'm calling some of you out, with all this madness going on, I wanna share whats on my mind.

I think around 90% of Turks/Turkish Cypriots are racist hypocrites.

Hear me out before you think its not you.

I grew up in Tottenham till i was 12, Now we all know Tottenham has a very large black community.

Why do we all know this?

Because its always been talked about in that way.

Anyway, my childhood was amazing i had alsorts of friends from different backgrounds at school, i loved it there, it was a place i was free to play with whoever i wanted, and i did, i don't have any memories of racism at primary school.

However i do have memories of my parents' friends (family even) saying stuff to my parents like "Why dont you move, you're surrounded by Blacks" followed by "Why dont you move somewhere with more English?"

My parents would answer them by saying our Black neighbours are nicer to us than the English are. They would say abd describe the English people they knew, as cold and only willing to see you and speak when they feel like it.

We're my parents being racist or just saying it how they saw and experienced it, im not sure,

but what i do know is i personally can't prove them wrong yet, dont get me wrong i love all my friends but if im gonna separate race, like its happening now, i have to agree, with my parents and say to this day my English friends have never been racist to me, but have always kept me at their convenient distance, sorry if you disagree but that is my feelings, how i feel.

Is it because they are racist? or just a general way of English life?

Or is it just the ones God puts on my path? (I have lots of questions) anyway im veering off here, going back to Turks being racist.

As a kid, I remember going on holiday to North Cyprus and making friends with some gypsies that lived across the road, i was told off for this by a lot of my Nans neighbours (you know the ones that came for coffee and woke you up every morning with their chatter and gossip), i was told not to play with them as they were gypsies and black, so that there was my 1st encounter i remember clearly with people not thinking like i did (so what if they were gypsies and black i was having fun with them), It gave me reasons to see these elders as stupid (now I'd say deeply uneducated), as at that time i had no idea what racism was, so i agree 100% when people say racism is taught. So anyway, naturally i had no respect for anything else that came out of their mouths and for this i was given the naughty rebel title from a very young age.

Moving on, we moved from Tottenham to Edmonton when my daddy got a job working for British Telecom, Not because of Black people, but because my parents now had a better income and the houses were nicer and there was more open green space for us to play, they thought they upgraded.

I start a new school and funny enough I'm in really new territory, i was 1 of only 4 turks in my class and i knew it, I felt the foreigner, but found my new friends were more keen to learn about our culture than to bully me or be nasty about it. But none the less i still felt foreign.

Later i made lots Greek Cypriot friends they just seemed to be so similar to us Turks and yet so different, but yet we all clicked and clicked well. I knew a little bit about the Cyprus war, but it wasn't really something that was spoken about in my family. As i was getting older and going out, going round friends houses, thats when i really began to here the stories of the Cyprus war, but it wasn't from my family no, it was my Greek friends parents telling me all about it, every single one i ever met had to bring up the story and educate me.

so now im a confused teen who thinks i got great friends, but every Greek parent still holds a mini grudge against Turks or just wont let go of the past.

It always felt like it was their way of letting me know i was privileged to be in their home. That may not be what they would say, but its how i felt.

Yet again i still wonder was it just the people in my life path? Or is this the Greek Cypriot way of life? Maybe like the English are stereotyped for conversations about the weather, that's just what the old Greek Cypriots do? I mean its still a history story told to tourists in South Cyprus to this day.

Obviously I've gone back home and questioned the stuff, done my own research too and come up with my own decision and that was that this is how deep racism still runs, Its such a small island with such a small population that couldn't (still aint) live in harmony with one another, who cares who had it 1st, (my conclusion is Dinosaurs btw) anyway the Bible says "Love thy neighbour" and one of the fundamental laws of the Quran is Oneness and Unity, so for such a religious island full of Churches, pictures of Mary's and Jesus Christ and Mosque's and with prayer read out loud on speakers 5 times a day and atheism at a low there, I think it's truly hypocritical racism on both parts isn't it?

Why do we live in harmony here but not there?

What made it all different just by crossing an ocean?

Or are we just faking it?

Coz it looks like harmony until one wants to marry the other, and the same again when it comes to the Black community. although this is slowly changing.

We all know finding true love and connection is very rare, every now and then a person blessed to meet and connect with someone on a deep level, someone who gets them, someone who presses all the right buttons in all the right places, someone who wants to be with them always and share a life together, when that happens you don't see that persons Colour, Race or Religion.

But take that relationship outside and all hell breaks loose, everyone has something to say about it, someway to feel about it.

Especially those who have been suffering in fear of loneliness in loveless marriages for years.

God help any Turkish girl that might fall in love with a Black or Greek man, 50% of them today would loose their family.

I have also seen many Turkish girls in multi racial relationships suffer and fail because of the family putting so much pressure of hate on the relationship,

When it does fail its usually because they lost their family support system, shut out in the cold by the ones that once said nobody loved them like they did, then being made to feel like they brought shame on the family. Being made to feel like they were a waste of time being raised.That kinda hurt changes people, its bad, but the guilty party dont accept and usually turn around and say "I told you so", hence enforcing their racist belief was true and so it continues.

I have also come across many Turkish males over the years and still to this day know of many who have many Black friends but would never touch a Turkish girl who has been in bed with a Black male!

Is this not hypocritical racism too?

But i guess it justified because we hear stories on the news of some other races that murder their daughters, to honor the family name, should they run off with a Black man, so i guess Turkish girls are lucky, aren't they?

Then we have the stupid racism against our own, us British Turkish Cypriots have always been treated differently when visiting Cyprus.

And a lot Turkey Turks that act like they're better than everyone. Always teasing the way we speak and always pointing out and saying something like "Ohh you're Cypriot"

Well yeah we speak different, you twat, its mixed in with greek because we used to live together.

Then they act like we still owe them gratitude for helping us get half of Cyprus (not all of you but a lot),

Well I think every Turkish household in North Cyprus has a picture of Ataturk in there home to this day.

The Turkish Cypriot government has even allowed mainland Turks to set up lots of hotels and casinos and brothels and created a safe haven for those with money running away from trials.

How much more gratitude do they want?

Especially as in my eyes all they really did was create a huge divide and caused unnecessary ongoing racism, where it once never existed, instead of helping achieve peace and harmony.

So if we are gonna end racism it starts with you.

Open your eyes every time you mention people by their Race or Religion or Colour?

Ask yourself was it really necessary?

Ask yourself why you think about people of different Race, Religion or Colour the way you do?

See your own racism 1st.

And finally I would like to add no Turk except the Black Turks has ever faced racism like Black People around the world have and still face.

It needs to stop and it needs to stop now.

I'm just having a rant based on my life experiences and this is only my opinion and does not include any real facts other than my personal encounters and experiences.

#blacklivesmatter #racsim #turkish #turks #just a rant #cyprus

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aenslem · 5 years ago

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look, this is old stuff i wrote a long time ago but im not even editing it, so im trying to gif ouat and i have to actually rewatch some parts to find scenes i want to gif, mostly sq (of course) but every time i do it i remember how much i hate the way it treats regina!

don’t get me wrong, i was thinking same when i just started it and yeah, i liked regina but i was not like SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE back then and i still feel it. i hate the way they treat her.

i do realize who she was and what she did, she was a total bicth, with bad communication skills, instead of trying to get what she wants the right way she threatened people, manipulated them, killed them. and i could go miles how it’s the only way she knows, which is true but i will not. i will not start defending her here, i will just say that if take away all of knowledge we have, about what disney characters they were before and if we look at it only as a people who live in a small town called storybrooke, with a mayor who has adopted son, son who finds his real mother and brings her there thinking they are all story book characters, don’t you think it is kind of unfair to regina?

let’s see, madam mayor, maybe not the happiest woman alive had some kind of a relationship with sherrif and tried to not show it to her son, who only found out he was adopted and freaked out on the level to think his mother is Evil Queen! so, i think i can understand why she would not want henry to know about it yet. maybe she is strict mother, but she did try to give henry everything from what i see. but somehow, everyone knows BETTER.

when emma arrives she suddenly feels a need to protect and be sure HER son is fine because she met this woman for 30 minutes and decided she knows better. she literally says that to regina in second episode that she knows better. i mean, rewatch that red panties scene with apples. can you imagine what mother would feel if a woman who gave up a child for adoption, never was interested in finding him would come into your life and would tell you she knows what is best for YOUR child after knowing you for a day?? then suddenly the doc you hired to help your child to get those fiction stuff out of their head tells you YOU ARE NOT A GOOD MOM FOR HIM AND AFTER KNOWING HENRY’S REAL MOM FOR A FEW DAYS SAYS HE WILL GO WITH HER BEING HIS MOM THAN REGINA, i mean yes, she could ask nicely to do a better job instead of going with his fantasies, with recent events you are impatient and feel like your son is more away from you than ever, his real mother is there to take him away, but she did how she knew to deal with stuff, everyone is on emma;s side after knowing her for a few minutes because BECAUSE???/ we know who emma is, they don’t! she could be a serial killer but who cares if you are nice you get pass as a good guy and everyone suddenly accepts you, and just because you don’t treat people with a smile every day they think you are the worst bitch ever, just because she tells you to fuck off from a man who just woke up from coma to find that there was a wife of his and gets into romance with another woman he doesn’t know, ruining his promising life with his wife you are suddenly lebeled as a bad person. what a one sided show i swear.

i mean, it is ok to have relationships with two women because it is true love and you are all heroes but having affair with a man and not telling your son because you don’t want to make things worse and you are suddenly a bitch!? what the...

so, then suddenly the man she was with breaks up with her because of that woman who is also a real mother of your son but suddenly YOU ARE the problem again. because it doesn’t matter that it all started with her appearance, YOU ARE the problem because you don’t act nice. you don’t go all lovey dovey in front of everyone, running around screaming about true love, i mean if she did i am sure everyone would take it better.

i know she is the evil queen, she did all the bad things and all, she acts like a bitch and all. but honestly, none of other characters know it, they rarely show what bad stuff regina did to them, they just fear her and we should accept it because the show tells us she is evil queen. BUT they don’t know, inside this show emma doesn’t believe it, mm doesn’t know it, graham doesn’t know it, archie doesn’t know it, none of them know anything. but suddenly they all know better what is best for the boy and town and not the mother who raised him and the mayor.

i understand emma’s reasons of what she does, but don’t you think it’s a little bit selfish of her? i mean, if you wanted family NOW,why not creating it? why, yes after getting dragged there, you don’t leave and create that family instead of ruining the existing one? maybe if you left (ok town did not let her) henry would stop? i am looking at this from a non magical side because it shows kinda real world, and henry believes in a thing as a child believes he has imaginary friend, you of course don’t rip it off asap, you go slowly, but with everything those people do, they just add gasoline to fire from my side.

imagine the potential of this show if it was not about fairy tale characters? it would be fucking amazing, regina would go crazy because of this and try to get rid off emma, i would to, if my son was taken away from me, my comfort life would be destroyed just because someone suddenly felt they want everything they gave up back, so many years after and blaming you for all the problems instead of helping.

SHE HAS ALL THE REASONS TO BE A BITCH IN THAT SITUATION. you come into her life, ruuining it so fast, what did you expect? her to accept you with open arms? fuck off. i would be mad!

yes, maybe graham did not feel anything for her, and we know he did not, regina took his heart away, but emma doesn’t know that right? so, when he tells regina it’s over, and regina says it is because of emma, both of those idiots say it is not because of emma, but it does happened because of her! but suddenly both blame regina and emma is a good guy because of her they saw how bad regina is and it is her problem now,. emma is not at fault, she is victim here. what the fuck???

ok, i will explain it better, you come into this woman’s life and threaten the peace with her son and even threaten her rights to be his mother for her, then suddenly with your appearance, kisses in the street and all the stuff the man with whom regina slept is breaking up with her and it is still regina being a problem? i am sorry, but do you think anyone would take it fine? i would fucking kick the shit out of emma... wait, yeah, regina tried.

don’t get me wrong,regina is a bitch and did horrible shit, i know graham is a victim here, his heart was taken away, but emma doesn’t know any of it, but she still acts like she knows better when she is the actual reason for that break up, (not taking in mention that he remembered because of emma because for emma he kissed her and that’s all) for emma he is just a man who slept with a mother of her son and kissed emma also. and then he breaks up with regina but it is still not her fault, it is regina because suddenly graham doesn’t feel anything for regina.

so, i will write it down again, it is ok when david kisses mm while still being with his wife because it is love, but emma breaking up the only relationship (kinda) regina had is ok because it was not love. like father like daughter huh kissing people while they are not free...

this show IS one sided. later of course we get more reasoning of regina’s actions and all. but first episodes are fucking horrible in that way, and i am not even mentioning all the adoption issues and showing it the way this show did, because if i start i swear i would go much more with it. i could write entire book of how fucked up it all is in the beginning. that’s awful.

what i am trrying to say is, they could do much better, but they tried to show regina as a bad person so hard they did not think how this looks from apart, because it seems like good guys are good no matter what they do, be it having affair on side, ruining someone’s relationship, threatening peacefull life of a woman because you suddenly want a family and back your son who you gave up after giving a birth to him... you are still good because you do those things to bad people.

and i remember the cora here, because snow’s mom was a total bicth to cora and still got passed as the nicest of all while cora became the worst person ever and got a worst mom of the century award. good guys are still good no matter how bad they are, because somehow the bad things they do, they do to evil people, who were not evil until good guys did those things to them. so, batman situation here, you create your enemies and you are responsible for it, i am not saying cora or regina were saint or something, but imagine if snow’s mom was not a jerk to cora, how things would go? snow and david literally stole a child from a person and ruined her life because that person was evil, so who cares? but when their child was separated for them, yeah, oh regina you are so bad!

and all that stuff with blood relations?? like they are the only true connections and all? the beginning sucked with it! and when it got better with this, the show became a shitty with plot.

i just have so many issues with this show and i know this rant doesn’t change anything and all, it’s too late cause it is finished, but yeah, it exists and someone with a mind not developed yet will watch it and think that being adopted is bad thing and when it gets better plot starts to suck so they stop watching and they are left with a thought of it, and that might stay with them. this shit bugs me because im 27, i don’t want to give a birth, i always thought i will adopt a child and im not gonna get married to a man, that i know.

and what if when i finally have a kid his real mom appears? it’s not about sharing but constant fear that the child will stop loving you because they have REAL mom. i never thought about blood relations as important, for me it’s more about who raised you and gave you everything in your life, did everything for you. i don’t even have a kid yet and already think about shit like this, these kind of things stress the hell out of me. media has a lot of impact on people and ouat is not the only one being shitty in that matter, so yes, it is important that later regina and henry got their happy ending, but before that? how many stopped watching and were left with what it was in the beginning? it would not show regina as less evil if they at least once mentioned that henry is conflicted about thinking that his mother is evil queen, because that is the woman who raised him after all. but no, he jumps into that so easily... in s2 they start everything else with regina and henry’s dinamics. that they finally become family. but before that?? dude that was horrible.

anyway, i did not intend it to be this long, and honestly i could add even more, im just too tired and i try to focus on good stuff in that show, because yes, somewhere there was trapped a really good show which was fucked up by horrible writing. the potential it had. it could be epic. and i don’t even speak about swen here.

#text #once upon a time #it was still in my drafts and i decided to throw it at everyone #anyway i do love part of this show #the part i imagined in my head #not the horrible writing they showed there #those characters deserved better

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socialismformilfs · 6 years ago

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Mutual appreciation post

So a lot of people did one so here I am hoes

@jungkooksbuttons Hafsa there is no word to describe how much you mean to me, for real I could write a novel about how I feel about you but I’m sure you already know that with all the paragraphs I sent you mon cœur lol: did you know you’re the only person in my life that I wrote paragraphs for? That’s how much you mean to me. I don’t know you’re just amazing and you inspire me to try harder because I know that even if times get harder for both of us we got each back’s and i don’t plan on giving up now that i found you my other half: you’re so damn amazing like I can’t put it into words but you’re funny, pretty, thoughtful and I feel so comfortable with you?? It’s like we can do and say everything to each other without judgment and that’s something I never done before with anyone else but you, i also love how we’re both crackheads and we can talk for hours about nothing but still have fun somehow. Seriously you became such an important part of my life, I actually didn’t expect that when I first joined the gc but now I realized that was the best decision I made this year because I got to meet you. I have so much to say but I’m going to stop now because it’s not a Hafsa appreciation post djjdj seriously babe I love everything about you: your qualities and your flaws and nothing will ever change that

@bloomingjiminie I have so much to say about you didi oml i don’t even know where to start, you were the first person that talked to me in the gc and we got along so well?? I was chocked because I usually get hated easily lol but no with you, it was so easy it’s like you have a power to make people feel comfortable talking to you and that’s amazing, you’re amazing. Honestly I was a bit sad when we stopped talking for a while but then we did our gc and BAAM you became one of my closest friends and soulmate. I’m so glad I honestly made this gc because it brought me closer to you and the others. You’re an incredible writer and I have the best ideas with you and joking around with you is so easy because you have a great sense of humor so I’m not scared to say the dumbest things to you because I know you’ll end up saying dumb stuff too. You also know when to stop joking around and being caring to me when I feel upset and that means a lot. I love you chicken to my frog legs even if you clown me but it’s fair because I clown you too lmaoo

@chen-stans-are-the-best KERI you living legend and my partner in crimes, you’re so damn cool like everything about you is wow, you’re so sweet and loving but at the same time we know we can count on you if we’re in trouble to defend us. You laugh and put up with my dumbass like no one else and that means a whole lot because I know that it doesn’t make everyone laugh like it does with you and I tend to be annoying. I know we tease you a lot about you driving for example but you never get mad and that’s nice to know I can joke around without making you upset. Also you’re a genius, the ideas you create and the evil plan we did once was hilarious and wonderful to do with you. You’re a cutie (even if you say you’re not) and I love talking to you my soul sister because I know you’re here to listen if necessary. Even if I’m bad at expressing how I feel, I want you to know that I won’t leave this gc even if I get banned somehow because you guys became my family and you’re dear to me Keri, I love you (I wanted to make it dark purple cause it’s your favorite color but I don’t know if it’s dark enough lol)

@little-bunny-jungkookie Rae the queen of moodboards and my close friend, honestly you’re so friendly and creative and kind to me, I’m honored?? You’re an angel and I’m not joking even if you may disagree and I’m so happy you consider me as your friend. I know I can talk to you about serious situations without hesitation and go to you anytime to ask you for some advices and I’m forever grateful for that. You might have joined recently but it’s like we’ve been friends for a long time and I can talk to you in vc or send you random pics without thinking about it twice because you have such a comforting and peaceful presence for me, I know I can trust you. You may have flaws but know that it doesn’t make you less of a good person because your qualities have more impact on others than your flaws and your feelings are valid no matter what anyone say. You’re a great person and friend to me and I love you very much Rae and sorry I pronounced your name wrong at first djdj

@seokjinownsmyass My bro Mina, you’re so talented with what you write and we have so many moments together like the time we were teasing Simon and Dee about their “platonic�� relationship was iconic or the whole thread we did with the « 🌚🌝 ». I love listening to you rant because that’s so cute (Raena is thriving) and it makes me feel closer to you, I’m happy you’re my bro and I know I joke around a lot and tease you but you’re really an important friend to me and I miss you a lot when we don’t talk. I care about you Mina and I’ll fight you if you doubt yourself because I love you so does Rae and others and you and your memes are the best so don’t ever think for a second that we’ll stop loving you bro because that won’t happen, I’m stubborn af after all. I hope you’ll join the vc soon tho I want to hear you voice Mina jkjk you don’t have to if you don’t want to

@killcomet Starlight, you’re so precious I literally can’t, you always tag me in cute things and I just melt because that’s how adorable you are and I appreciate it because it feels like you’re thinking about me even if we’re not talking that much lately so it makes me feel better and your voice is beautiful, I could listen to it for hours. You may say you’re annoying but that’s not the case hon: your flaws, your insecurities, your doubts, everything about you matters to me and don’t ever hesitate to text me because you might believe you’re annoying, personally it makes me happy to know I can be here for you and I’m always here if you want to talk Drew. I may not be physically present but I still will do my best to help you in any way. I love you and talking to you until 5 am was goal (Simon was here but he kept leaving so technically it was just the two of us dhdh)

@lofisapphic Bee omg you’re so fun to talk to you because we do so many icon things together first it started with the Simon protection club then the crush squad and finally the pickup lines war, I can’t I’m actually screaming everytime you send a pickup line to me jdjdjd im still surprised honestly we haven’t been banned but I’m not complaining. Also you’re so pretty like stop sis that’s not fair and you’re great because even if we have different opinions sometimes, we still respect each other and you’re very mature and respectful on a lot of subjects and that’s impressive, i stan. Anyway I love you and your gay panicking ass

@puppieseokie fay sis you’re iconic seriously, l miss you ranting about your girlfriend on the gc and I was kind of sad when you and bee left but it’s understandable. Your mind is a gift from the god seriously: you love hoseok and bts, you ship shrek and Yoongi and you’re a gay legend. I respect you ma’am and if you have cute moments with your gf, don’t hesitate to talk to me about it~

@simonbunnyjunior SIMON my French talking little bro, you’re the kinkiest person I met in a while but that’s goal honestly. You’re kind af and you do your best to help and make everyone feel better. You’re shameless but at the same time you’re still respectful so i live for that. ALSO the nickname you gave me is so fucking cute, I’m screaming. I admire you for not giving up even tho things are hard for you sometimes and I hope you know you can talk to me anytime if you feel like things are getting too difficult for you to handle. Love you

@bangtansoftboys Robin it’s been a while since the last time you were in the gc, I hope you’re okay and I hope you know that we’re joking when we’re teasing you because we’re crackheads anyway love you cute king~

@sundaetae Dee I own you a lot honestly because without you I wouldn’t have joined this gc so thank you so much and you were the first person I directly ever talked to so I think it’s cause of you I was able to not be shy anymore and I’m grateful for that Dee love u sis

@diamondjoonie Andrea hello~ i know we interacted like once but you sound like a great person to hang out with because the only time we talked we did memes and I wasn’t feeling awkward talking to you so if you ever feel like chatting again, don’t hesitate to message me

@busted-aesthetic MEL you’re so cool seriously, I know we just started talking recently but you’re so funny and you have like an aura that says don’t fuck with me cause I’ll hunt you down djjd talking to you until 6 am with mon cœur was hilarious especially when you guys started teaching me how to pronounce things correctly, iconic. Anyway I hope things get better and love you queen

@kingdomzeldaquest LOTTe my murderer and non-existent friend, I love our inside jokes that we had because now we can confuse others for no reason and that’s goal. You’re funny af and talking to you is nice because you’re an intellectual and your taste in music is great. Love you and don’t get arrested lmaoo

@spraklecrackle Thomas heyyyy i remember talking to you once? When we created the « Simon protection club » and you were super nice and you join the club so you’re a legend. We should talk sometimes and I saw you’re French too so hell yes French squad

@alien-the-magician Yasemin you’re so djdjjd literally you join the gc once in a year but everytime you’re here it’s hilarious for example the Dracula is your ancestor thing and when you were drunk lmaooo I love you and your drunk ass

@justramblingaboutthings HEYYY Raquel how are you? It’s been a while since I saw you, I miss screaming about Dia’s talent with you. Take care of yourself and hope you’re okay

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zekhromss · 6 years ago

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ive got some Opinions and i dont wanna get myself mad 4 separate times to make separate posts so like heres a masterpost of everything ive made myself mad about in the past 20 minutes.

-im so fucking tired of transmisogyny and like actually transphobia in general but whatever it sucks that like every piece of media has some form of it and its like its 2019 how is the joke “man in dress think he woooomahn” not tired like how do people keep greenlighting it. its stupid and ugly and i hate it i hate it so fucking much like can you get better jokes i wish there were a point in time where theres a collective Woke Millennial Hivemind that fucking massacres unfunny ass transmisogynists. every time i have to cringe through a “excuse me did you call me sir” “oh apologies maam are you gonna get the Surgerie done” in a normal human context i die on the inside and also explode

-i think it should be illegal to force organized religion on your kids (but like in a non-religious persecution way like not in real life illegal i just wish it never existed) and in fact if kids are sheltered from shit that doesnt hurt them like homosexuality and scientific studies on the world around them i think they should be sheltered from religion. religion causes a fuckton of mental and developmental disorders (typically emotional and psychiatric) that are damn near fucking impossible to recover from because youre always gonna be afraid of god or hell or whatever the fuck. like not even in a christianity sense (theyre typically the worst about this and i say this from personal experience but like, idk, ive seen it from things like....not christianity....) i really truly believe religion should be kept from children until they can develop their own personalities and states of being because basing ur life around a pre-existing moral code of What Makes You Good is harmful and in most cases kids wind up wilding out and putting themselves in danger because they feel trapped and constantly under the watchful eye of karma or god or whatever. like i really cannot think of a single religion where the basis is “just chill and promise to be cool” without some kind of punishment existing whether it’s “you’ll have to pay for this in your next life or in future interactions” and i think it’s just reaaaalllllyyyyy harmful for kids to experience like i dont think it teaches responsibility i think it teaches fear of mistakes because regardless of how merciful you as an adult think your god is, kids will not think like that. like idk. im sure theres good religions that handle this better but speaking from my standpoint i never found a religion that made me feel safe and Human until i got older. even now that im like a buddhist im still like “yeah but what if this religion based in being cool and kind winds up fucking me over because karma doesnt think im the same person i think i am”. idk im like traumatized from christianity tho so this isnt a good opinion for other religions so i guess this is about christianity sorry guys im not deleting this whole paragraph though.

-i think relationships in media need to fucking get away from “crazy insane medical professional who tortures people”. i dont think i need to write an essay on this. i dont understand why people keep making this archetype when it usually winds up being thinly veiled fetish torture porn for the first person this particular character interacts with and doesnt kill. like maybe its okay for strictly horror films but i really cannot wrap my head around why people keep using this trope, it’s lazy and uninspired and feels like the biggest cop-out of a character. like, you can make someone with baseline similar characterization but to put them in a place of forged authority to do whatever is just uh.....lazy....and it winds up being really gross really quick. this isnt strictly abt cicciolata or w/e his fucking name is but hes the first character beyond like idk jigsaw that i can think of so this is all his fault now. fuck you you stupid ugly bitch. be in a horror movie if you want to act like this. god. it is like better than Doctor Man With Psychosisisisissis!!!!!!!11111! because at least theyre being ugly as fuck on their own but ohhh mannnnnn you guys went to like. editors and whatever and they thought it was a good idea? we have to destroy all media and start over because these new archetypes SUCK.

-this kinda goes with my christianity rant but like i think....like i wish some form of black mirror existed where kids were independent from their parents personal opinions and there was like a thing that you could see when you were a kid that says “THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE THIS IS AN OPINION” when ur parents say some dumb racist/phobic shit because like literally parents are socially-acceptably brainwashing their children into having the same ugly ass outdated opinions and it fucking sucks. i dont think kids should have to listen to their parents opinions i wish there was a cool fucking Opinion Free Zone where nobody can tell you a religion is wrong or a race or identity is wrong because fucking yikes.

-also i wish every employer was like lgbt friendly and not “at will”??? idk how its 2019 and we still have fucking people getting fired for zero reason other than theyre not cishet and their boss like has some irrelevant problem like theyre a cheap fucking asshole who doesnt want to pay them like i wish every employee had a Book of Rights thats non-negotiable and if you as an employer overstep those rights you get murdered like im being for real like if youre a fucking piece of shit i want you dead why would you exist in a capitalist state where you have to have a fucking job to live and then fire someone for a reason that isnt real. fuck.

#personal #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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dead-thorin · 6 years ago

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everything im gonna write is gonna be concerning but it be like that and its really not concerning

for like months now i haven’t been ok. And like it’s gotten worse with the holidays and ive been so fucking angry and tired lol. like at first i was like its fine its ok, then i was like its the hormones it happens, then its the stress of finals and work but like its really not like i legit just dont want to be alive anymore im really tired of it. Like idk how to convey just how much i dont care anymore to be alive

1) I feel so fucking isolated here like i have friends but a majority of them are cis. And like the trans people i know? most of them on T are non binary which like valid, but they dont get the full extent. And like their families support them lmao and theres one person i could talk to but he doesnt seem to want to socialize much so i always feel awful thinking about hitting him up

and like i feel like my friends dont like me and i know thats not the case but also maybe it is!!! who fucking knows anymore!!!! i dont have time to talk to them bc im so busy at work and then i get home and immediately have to do more work and by the time im free this week theyll be home for break so like!!! fuck i guess!!! i saw one of my friends who i havent been able to see all semester and she said shed hit me up today and she hasnt and i know its cause she and another friend have to study and theyve been busy but in my mind its still “she fucking hates u!!! doesnt matter that she was so excited to see u and would definitely have no qualms in telling u to fuck off she hates u!!!”

2) no one listens to me lol like people listen to me when i rant, which is really helpful and i really appreciate and love that they do that bc emotional labor, but like in groups? i talk and people interrupt or dont hear what i say or disregard it and im like k. OR THEY THINK IM FUCKING JOKING LIKE THIS LEGIT IS SUCH A PROBLEM AND IVE HAD IT HAPPEN WITH SEVERAL PPL AND IDK WHAT TO DO. Like i physically say “im really not joking dont do that” AND THEY STILL THINK IM JOKING

and whenever i talk to people and they give me advice or just listen they do at least one thing. They either mention medicine, which again, valid, but i dont want to go back on medicine right now. But then they fucking push that shit and demand reasons why i dont want to like fuck u i dont have to explain shit to u i just dont want to. And/or it turns into me educating them and im just like great! i managed to do labor in this trying time! nice!

3) I cant talk to my therapist bc shell become concerned lol. i told her how i went to the labor looking for a book about the pros and cons of committing suicide and researched it and i had to talk for 10 minutes afterwards about the steps i was taking to help combat it but like i was legit scared to tell her in case she made me go into inpatient care lmao and this brings me to pt 4

4) theres like nothing here LMAOOOOOOO like no books at either library about stopping suicidal thoughts or helping depression or about family estrangement. I had to order books from different libraries to get something and theres a few that i got from the Libby app but like wtf lmao and theres no events during christmas and every volunteer thing? either i gotta fill out an application and do training which who knows how long thatll take or i need a car. Like there legit isnt anything here i did so much looking lmao like i have my hobbies but that wont make me leave the house

i talked to a professor about this shit too and he understands and stuff and told me to hit him up during break if i feel isolated but like I FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY FOR EVEN BREATHING LMAO LIKE WHAT hes got shit to do too and i know he has research going on so like doubt it

5) im gonna die alone at this pt and i know thats mad dramatic and also probably false but im like so conflicted about everything i feel with my gender and dating

like every time i like a man im like wow if i was a girl, this wouldnt be a problem and like being cis has more privileges than being trans but i know last time i dated in the closet it wasnt a good time SO

and every time i like a girl, im like she prob wont see me as a man or will be disappointed in my body or transition

and like no matter who im interested in, the same thought is always “they prob dont see me as a man and will misgender me, even unintentionally” like i know people who dont even know my birth name and have known my pronouns as he/him AND THEY STILL GET IT WRONG LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EVEN DO ANYMORE TATTOO IT ON MY FUCKING FOREHEAD

theres a guy i currently like, whos so sweet like theres one incident that happened that i had me thinking damn.... hope hes into guys and single..... and like its kept me up thinking “oh man hes definitely str8 this fucking sucks if i was a girl i would probably have a shot” but like every time i toy with the idea of detransitioning (not in a serious way, but just like casually thinking of a scenario) my mind physically rejects it and is like “motherfucking do u wanna go back to THOSE shitty feelings??? really??? it was worse before!!” and i will definitely get over this crush, like im just lonely and its cuffing season, but it fucking sucks in the meantime like i feel like i cant date because im too nervous and scared to!!! im so scared they wont think im a man and i know thats not every person but like Jesus its enough that its a good possibility

6) this part is sad but i think i have to stop talking to my sister or at least give her limited info bc shes having her parents contact me through her and im not giving them shit so...

like she just texted asking when id be home and for the millionth time (BC NO ONE LISTENS TO ME) i said i wasnt going home, im never going home, stop asking and i know that its them asking her to ask me and they can honestly fuck themselves

like these are all problems that have solutions and i know the solutions but like im so tired of it lol im tired of having to deal with my family situation, im tired of being ignored and interrupted and not taken serious and having to explain my boundaries over and over and over again, im tired of not being able to talk to people for fear of getting hospitalized or interrupted or pushed onto meds, im tired of not having resources, im so tired of it all. Im so sick of being suicidal and not even being able to get out of bed and having to deal with being depressed and anxious and chronically ill fuck all of it

legitimately had to make a list of shit i could do over break so that i feel like i cant hurt myself until i finish it bc thats how my shit brain works. like i dont want to die but i also just dont want to deal with this anymore and i know itll get better in time but jesus fucking christ its been 8 damn years when does it actually get fully fucking good? its gotten better but more shit keeps coming up like yea i started hormones but now i dont have a fucking family anymore.

Even if i didnt have this list i wouldnt do it bc 1) i dont want to do that to my closest friend and 2) im helping someone get out of an abusive situation. She has like no support, just one cousin whos there for her, but he doesnt have resources for her. Ive been listening to her and validating her and making sure she knows that a) this is the type of shit abusers do and b) shes not fucking crazy for thinking certain things!!! she really isnt and i get it so much so ive been gently giving her contacts from the beginning to help her and she finally left and is in a really delicate place. So like not exactly the best thing for me to suddenly be gone and id feel terrible if she had no one there for her

anyway this was a long post that can basically be summed up as i really want to fucking kill myself but i wont but also im suffering a lot

#post from the blogger

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jolivira · 3 years ago

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movie rant

I just finished the mitchells vs the machines and i have no friends to rant about it to so im making a tumblr post!!!

disclaimer: this is just MY opinion and if you liked the movie that’s great! keep scrolling

disclaimer 2: this will have spoilers about the movie

got all that? still here? oK LET’S GO

okay so things that I liked:

the animation style was incredible

the humor was great (most of the time)

i would die for those two robots

the mum is amazing

and yea...

the plot of the movie in general was fine too but what got me MAD was the father/daughter plot

lets make something clear: in the beginning of the movie katie TRIES to show things to her dad, and we see her easily bonding with her brother over his special interests, meaning if the dad tried to share stuff about carving and crafting with her too it woud probably work out. katie has always made an effort to connect

BUT NO, the dad is super annoying, acts like a boomer with the hating phones thing and in the end of the day simply doesn’t care about katie’s movies, he only cares about the time before she had a personality and loved everything he did. shes what 17 now? and he keeps bringing up stuff from when she was a baby

then we see katie’s dream being to leave and to create an independent life for herself, and for some reason its framed as a bad thing???

OH and when she lies and says what her dad wants to hear and its played like an awful decision. you know, many kids like me have to do that to survive in their family, please their parents to avoid arguments and fights

also why is the movie obssessed in forcing her to feel things that she doesnt feel? her father never cared about her interests, he literally watches one of ther videos for the first time in the last 15 minutes of the movie, why should she force herself to feel those things when her dad only started caring once she was leaving?

and his ““effort”“ is so painfully average. he isnt even bothered to know what she likes or wants to do, just shoves his own nostalgia on her and then gets upset when she doesnt like it

fucking get to know your daughter maybe?? and dont try to bond with her just because shes moving out and you feel guilty????

(im so mad omg dkjfhdjfgjkfg)

no but the worst part of this movie is the message, oh boy

they keep talking about katie finding her people, only for it to turn out she just had to realize her people was her family all along!!!

that is such an awful message to kids!!!! “your people are your family! if you dont fit in with them then theres something wrong with you” and “if youre upset with your parents dont be because family is the only thing worth fighting for” which she says in the speech to the villain

WHAT THE FUCK??

god and that scene where katie is supposed to feel guilty cause the dad sold the house and its suggested it was to provide for her. well, movie, thats not katies fault! stop guilt tripping her cause thats what asshole parents do to you when they feel you arent giving them attention

*takes deep breath*

honestly Im usually all for rooting against disney movies at the oscars, I really really am. and i decided to watch this movie exactly because i saw so many people say it deserved the oscar more than encanto

and i honestly went into it really hoping to enjoy it, but almost every scene with katie and the father began to hurt something inside me....I think if i watched this movie as a kid i would have thought the state of my relationship with my father was my fault, and i had to “give him the benefit of the doubt” and accept his half assed attempts to connect with me

and honestly, as much as disney makes me angry, their movie about a latino family coming together, apologizing and healing from trauma is much more beautiful and important than whatever this trainwreck tried to talk about

UNRELATED but i also heard so much about the lgbtq rep in this movie and I was so looking forward to it and it ended up being 1 (one) rainbow pin and 1 (one) line said super fast at the end.... I was really disappointed tbh but thats the internet’s fault not the movie’s i guess

i think im done now, if you reached the end WOW im honestly impressed heres a gold star ⭐

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