#i had to pee

[jos-emporium]

Bladder Challenge

Open the timer app on your phone and close your eyes. arbitrarily set aa random time. check to make sure its a realistic time and press start. That's how long you have to hold for.

Have fun 😈

[jos-reblog-emporium]

14. Have you ever seen someone else wet themselves in public?

Does in a car count as in public? Because I have seen someone wet themselves in the car. If not, then no, I don’t think so.

[s-minnystuuff]

did i just cum a little as i peed bc it felt so good after my hold. maybe...

[bugdogg]

I gotta go to work but I’d rather be killing rn

Also I gotta have lunch w my mama which is less annoying

[jerksbitch]

“winchester sisters!🫎🐿️ " - from @CrazyTom0712 on twitter

this is NOT my art ! credit is above ! please show them some love :)

[inkskinned]

for a while i lived in an old house; the kind u.s americans don't often get to live in - living in a really old house here is super expensive. i found out right before i moved out that the house was actually so old that it features in a poem by emily dickinson.

i liked that there were footprints in front of the sink, worn into the hardwood. there were handprints on some of the handrails. we'd find secret marks from other tenants, little hints someone else had lived and died there. and yeah, there was a lot wrong with the house. there are a lot of DIY skills you learn when you are a grad student that cannot afford to pay someone else to do-it-for-ya. i shared the house with 8 others. the house always had this noise to it. sometimes that noise was really fucking awful.

in the mornings though, the sun would slant in thick amber skiens through the windows, and i'd be the first one up. i'd shuffle around, get showered in this tub that was trying to exit through the floor, get my clothes on. i would usually creep around in the kitchen until it was time to start waking everyone else up - some of them required multiple rounds of polite hey man we gotta go knocks. and it felt... outside of time. a loud kind of quiet.

the ghosts of the house always felt like they were humming in a melody just out of reach. i know people say that the witching hour happens in the dark, but i always felt like it occurred somewhere around 6:45 in the morning. like - for literal centuries, somebody stood here and did the dishes. for literal centuries, somebody else has been looking out the window to this tree in our garden. for literal centuries, people have been stubbing their toes and cracking their backs and complaining about the weather. something about that was so... strangely lovely.

i have to be honest. i'm not a history aficionado. i know, i know; it's tragic of me. i usually respond to "this thing is super old" by being like, wow! cool! and moving on. but this house was the first time i felt like the past was standing there. like it was breathing. like someone else was drying their hands with me. playing chess on the sofa. adding honey to their tea.

i grew up in an old town. like, literally, a few miles off of walden pond (as in of the walden). (also, relatedly, don't swim in walden, it's so unbelievably dirty). but my family didn't have "old house" kind of money. we had a barely-standing house from the 70's. history existed kind of... parallel to me. you had to go somewhere to be in history. your school would pack you up on a bus and take you to some "ye olden times" place and you'd see how they used to make glass or whatever, and then you'd go home to your LEDs. most museums were small and closed before 5. you knew history was, like, somewhere, but the only thing that was open was the mcdonalds and the mall.

i remember one of my seventh grade history teachers telling us - some day you'll see how long we've been human for and that thing has been puzzling me. i know the scientific number, technically.

the house had these little scars of use. my floors didn't actually touch the walls; i had to fill them with a stopgap to stop the wind. other people had shoved rags and pieces of newspaper. i know i've lost rings and earring backs down some of the floorboards. i think the raccoons that lived in our basement probably have collected a small fortune over the years. i complain out loud to myself about how awful the stairs are (uneven, steep, evil, turning, hard to get down while holding anything) and know - someone else has said this exact same thing.

when i was packing up to leave and doing a final deep cleaning, i found a note carved in the furthest corner in the narrow cave of my closet. a child's scrawled name, a faded paint handprint, the scrangly numbers: 1857.

we've been human for a long time. way back before we can remember.

[cam-stopped-eating-candles]

Annabeth when there’s a puppy

[l3irdl3rain]

if you stay up way too late you can catch glimpses of the little Midnight Creature who lives in your house

[herpsandbirds]

Heya! My aunt was doing some mowing in our yard and found this adorable Eastern snake necked turtle! She knows I'm a certified Critter Enjoyer so called me out.

It was under/amongst some very thick grass. We have a creek fairly near the house, I'd imagine that's where it came from so I placed it in a sheltered spot on the banks of the creek. An honour to hang out with this gorgeous little critter, see their adorable little feets and hold them like a handburger <3

[kangals]

freshly groomed boys must wear a raincoat before they go walk in the slop

[jos-emporium]

My bladder is so weak. I would come home from work more often than not and I'd start to leak. I can’t hold it much longer. I'd be holding my crotch, barely able to get into the house. Sometimes I'd try and continue hold as I walked the dog. But that, sometimes, was too much to handle. So, I'd just waddle to the bathroom with a wet patch in my underwear.

[s-minnystuuff]

(old pic)

one of my biggest accidents 🥺🫣

[shellxrls]

pushing the weird jj!piss kink agenda and having him lick reader right after she's done😭😭

he grabs your hips before you have a chance to manoeuvre to get ahold of some toilet paper, forcing you to slightly crouch your knees in front him, eager mouth hovering beneath your damp pussy.

acquainted to his constant urge for affection, you attempt to shuffle away assuming he just wanted the closeness for a moment, only to be met with his unnerving stiffness.

“can smell you you know,” he mumbles into your thigh.

“mhm, now will you let go so i can get some toilet paper jj?” you reply flippantly, pushing against him further.

“can i lick you clean?” he whines, and you finally get the hint, acquiescing as your knees buckle and you approach his face.

he pulls you onto him from there, forcing his tongue into you for a lazy tongue-fuck before lapping at your clit, making you even more soaked with his own slobber.

when he finally lets you go, you notice a damp spot blooming in his the crotch of his shorts.

[poppyandlilysblog]

Imprisoned for the crime of being a gross pee-pee head

[pharawee]

—JACK & JOKER: U Steal My Heart! · Episode 06