#i had to pause the show and make a meme in the middle of it because the show inspired a meme and it would've plagued my thoughts otherwise

[darkintothedawn]

DATING WOULD INCLUDE... || Stiles Stilinski 'Teen Wolf'

Pairing — Stiles Stilinski x Gender Neutral reader

Summary — Some headcanons I have for dating Stiles!

Memo— This is probably kind of ooc because I'm so overdue for a Teen Wolf rewatch but I think these fit well!

Word Count — 543

Stiles is the type to send you a million texts throughout the day—some sweet, some completely unhinged. One minute, it’s “Thinking about how cute you looked this morning” and the next, “If I turned into a dog but still had my head, would you still love me?”

He constantly finds ways to make you laugh, whether it’s dramatically re-enacting entire movie scenes, putting on ridiculous accents, or just making weird faces at you from across the room.

Despite all his chaos, he’s actually incredibly attentive. He notices when your mood shifts, when you’re overwhelmed, and when you just need a moment of quiet.

If you’re having a bad day, he shows up with your favourite snacks, a hoodie that smells like him, and a marathon of your comfort show queued up—no questions asked.

He definitely overthinks things sometimes, but it just means he puts extra effort into making you feel special. You offhandedly mention liking a certain kind of drink? Now your pantry is stocked with every flavour from that brand.

Stiles is obsessed with holding your hand. Walking? Holding hands. Sitting on the couch? Your fingers are laced together. Driving? One hand on the wheel, the other squeezing yours.

He makes up the most ridiculous pet names for you, and the worst part is they change daily. One day it’s “Sugar Muffin Supreme,” the next it’s “Detective Snuggle Pants.” You never know what’s coming next.

He will 100% go out of his way to find the weirdest, most specific memes that he knows will make you laugh and send them at random times—especially if he knows you’re busy and trying to be serious.

He’s your biggest hype man. Whether it’s a new outfit, a school achievement, or something as small as getting out of bed on a tough day, he’s right there cheering you on like you just won an Olympic medal.

Loves teasing you but gets so soft the second you give him a look. His sarcasm might be legendary, but the second you pout, he’s pulling you into his arms and muttering apologies against your hair.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, he’ll tell you the most nonsensical, rambling stories until you eventually pass out. Half of them involve conspiracy theories or supernatural creatures, but his voice is so soothing that it doesn’t even matter.

Absolutely insists on dramatic forehead kisses. Any excuse to lean in close, pause for dramatic effect, and press a slow, lingering kiss to your skin like he’s in a romance movie.

Stiles is a huge cuddler. He’ll dramatically sigh and drape himself over you like a human blanket, whining if you try to move away. Whether it’s spooning, you lying on his chest while he traces patterns on your back, or tangled limbs on the couch while watching TV, he always has to be touching you in some way. If you get up in the middle of the night, he groggily mumbles “Nooo, stay,” and tries to pull you back into bed. He doesn’t even care if he’s boiling hot—he will suffer in the name of cuddles.

Stiles loves you with his whole heart, and he’s not subtle about it. He's loud, ridiculous, and a little chaotic—but also warm, unwavering, and completely, hopelessly devoted to you.

[fbfh]

busy busy busy (but never too busy for you) - dad!tony + stark!reader

wc: 1.5k

pairing: dad!tony + (gn) stark!reader

genre: minor hurt/mostly comfort

warnings: needing to spend time with your parent, crying, emotional comfort, if you have daddy issues this one's gonna hurt lol

summary: after traveling with your dad on business, you find yourself missing spending time with him. Tony can't have that, of course.

song rec: walking the wire - imagine dragons

a/n: first fic finished post top surgery!!!!!!! the next few weeks posts will probs be shorter until I finish chapter 1 of the next multichapter fic lol. Also if I didn't say it recently I love you guys, thank you so much for all your love and support <333 PS if you need more personalized dad!tony.... character.ai works well for that lmao

tags @afidiofobia @lizziebitch33 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl  @dustyinkpages  @inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800 @liberty-barnes @followingthefanfiction @youkissedareaderinthedark @girlfriendwhoseawitch @mrscarolscaramoucheplease

You climb into the car, settling into the plush leather seat as Happy closes the door next to you. You set down your bag and try to get your seatbelt buckled while your dad sits next to you, wrapping up a phone call. 

“No, no. I don’t care. I said-” He stops, listening to someone on the other end for a moment. He’s clearly annoyed. He’s had to deal with people simultaneously trying to kiss his ass and tell him what to do all week, and you can tell he’s getting tired of it. 

“Throw as many conferences as you want, they’ll all be Stark-less. Throw a whole party, while you’re at it- you know what? No, don’t do that. I might actually show up to that.” He mutters the last part, something that would normally make you laugh. He glances over at you, but you’re still fussing with your seatbelt. 

“Alright, how about this. I’ll refer you to Stark Industries CEO, Pepper Potts.” The person on the other end is already objecting, but your dad couldn’t care less at this point. He’s said what he needed to say, and this idiot doesn’t want to listen. He continues to wrap up this disastrous phone call as the car pulls into the street, and starts driving you to the airport. 

“She’ll help you get this sorted out.” 

He hangs up without saying goodbye, then looks over at you. As soon as he does, he knows something’s wrong. You’re not yourself. You’re staring at the bottom of the seat in front of you instead of out the window, or going on your phone. Usually you can’t wait for him to finish business calls, sometimes texting him in the middle of them - texts he’s always happy to receive. You’ve rescued him from pointless conference calls with those texts more times than he can count. You always have something to tell him or update him on, whether that be the latest social media drama, friend group drama, the show you’re watching on Netflix, or even Avengers memes you find online. You always have something delightful you’re excited to share with him without even having to try, and it lights up his day each time. Except now, with you staring into space. 

He hands you the coffee he got you, taking his out of the cardboard holder that had been resting on his lap until now. You look over briefly, accepting the drink. 

“Thanks,” you say lightly, but there’s something in your tone that tips him off. 

“You okay, kid?”

You pause sipping your drink, wondering how he figured you out so fast. He’s your dad, you suppose. That’s kind of his job. You thought you’d been doing an okay job at masking the hollow sadness that’s been eroding you from the inside out all weekend. It doesn’t happen too often, and you tried everything you could to distract yourself until it stopped working. Until now. 

“Is it school? Boys? Girls?” He asks when you don’t answer right away. There’s a note of humor to his voice, but there’s also a sincerity, and you know that even if it was school or boys or girls that he would help you through it. “C’mon, you gotta keep your old man up to date on all the tea. The hot goss.”  

You let out a weepy chuckle, tracing the lid of your drink. He’s always the first to know when your Starbucks order changes, and he always knows exactly the perfect drink to get you without even having to ask. It’s a little thing, but it makes you feel even worse. You’ve spent the whole weekend trying to ignore how much you’ve been missing your dad, missing spending one on one time with him that’s not in between meetings or over a late dinner. He works so hard, and he has so much on his plate, but he always makes time for you. 

That’s why he started taking you along on business trips like this, because you both hated being away from each other. Usually it’s fine, usually you’re off exploring whatever city you’re in, going shopping, or generally finding somewhat entertaining ways to pass the time that you can tell him about next time you catch up. It’s usually really fun, too. It’s just when it gets busy like this, you think, when he has all these meetings and you have all your stuff that you’re juggling that you start to get like this. 

“No, no,” you say softly, rubbing the bottom of your eyes when they start to get misty. “Nothing like that…” 

Tony listens intently in the silence that follows, waiting to see if you have more to share with him. The smell of his cologne is paternal and comforting, a familiar reassurance that floats around him and feels like a hug.

“I just miss you, I guess…” you start, speaking your mind before you can even think. Your dad has that effect on you, it’s so easy to share how you feel and what you’re excited for or worried about that it feels automatic sometimes, like it’s impossible not to. Tony feels his heart break as he realizes what a toll all the recent traveling has taken on you, both of you. He pulls you in for a tight hug. You feel the tears you’ve been fighting start to spill, Tony rubs your back reassuringly and it finally feels safe enough to. 

He tries not to dwell on the fact that you got to feel like this in the first place, tries not to let that voice tell him he should have noticed how you felt sooner, that he’s a terrible dad, because he knows inside that he’s not. He’s not his father, and he sure as hell won’t make those mistakes. He could let himself worry about how he’s doing with you, let it keep him up at night - hell, it still does some nights, even when he doesn’t want it to. It’s been that way with you since he became your dad. Instead of worrying about that, he does what he does best. He takes action. 

“You are such a sweet kid.” He states, pressing a kiss on your forehead when you pull away. He brushes away the tears spilling down your cheeks. “Unfortunately, sometimes being a genius-billionaire-superhero-superdad requires some meetings and boring stuff. But don’t think I forgot about the most important part of that.” 

The dad part. He doesn’t even have to say it, you both know that’s where he’s going with this. You nod along, sighing as your breathing starts to slow back down. 

“But you’re right. It has gotten to be too much lately.” 

He reaches into the small mini fridge sitting between the driver’s and passenger seats, crisply cold and stocked with both your favorite drinks. He grabs a water bottle, opening it and handing it to you. 

“How about this? We’ll spend the whole plane ride back watching movies together - or that show you were telling me about, the one with- god, what’s his name…” He tries to remember the name of that actor you’ve been talking about the last few days, and you chuckle, supplying the answer. He snaps his fingers in recognition, repeating it back to you.

“Yes. That’s the one. We’ll watch all those movies, and you brainstorm what we’re going to do this weekend. Dream big, kid. I’ll have Pepper help you organize the whole thing.” 

Your eyes widen in excitement, and you hug him tightly again. 

“Thanks, dad.” You smile. You really are both long overdue for some quality time together, and Tony knows if he has to attend one more meeting, he’s going to lose his mind. The cave he built his first arc reactor in was more interesting than some of the people he’s spoken to recently. 

“I love you, kid.” 

He looks at you fondly for a moment, basking in pride at what a wonderful, amazing person you’ve become. It’s not time for him to get all sappy on you with the dad stuff, not quite yet, so before he can, he grabs a fluffy throw blanket and spreads it across you. 

“Now, we’ve got a big weekend ahead of us, so get some shut eye. I’ll wake you when we get to the airport.” 

Right before you start to doze off, you hear him on the phone with Pepper, filling her in on the plan. 

“Alright, so they’ve got about 25 more minutes of Stark business time, then I’m off the grid till monday.” Pepper says something about how they’re not going to like that, and Tony laughs, glancing over at you sleeping peacefully. “They don’t have to.” 

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Going Public || CL16

Another little blurb that was sitting in my drafts... F1 Masterlist

“We heard your girlfriend is a driver for Ferrari too, can we expect a friendly race anytime soon?”

Charles smiled towards the Ferrari crew that was watching the interview from the side of the stage, knowing you were somewhere among them. “Oh no, she’s way too competitive, and unless it’s in a F1 car she will 100% beat me.”

The interviewer laughed along with the crowd. “Surely not?”

“She’s absolutely fearless!” he said seriously as he sat up straighter. “And she’s not even a racer.”

The woman frowned as she looked at her cue card. “I thought she was a driver?”

You saw the pride on Charles' face when he grinned at Carlos sitting next to him, who was trying to hide his laughter behind his hand. 

“She is, but she doesn’t race.” The interviewer was growing more confused and you could see the fans taking all the information in to try and figure out your identity after nearly a year of dating under the radar.

“She drives the transporter rig,” Carlos clarified with a laugh. “Which is perfect because Charles can’t parallel park to save his life, so he gets his girlfriend to do it for him. She is very good at it.”

The People’s Prince of Monaco is dating a Trucker???

The F1 Gossip pages were going crazy after the interview and you sat scrolling through them with an amused chuckle. 

“Babe, have you seen this one?” you asked as you showed him the latest meme. Some clever person had taken a picture of an overweight middle-aged man in a red plaid shirt over a dirty wife-beater, slapped a Ferrari badge on his truck and trailer and a long blonde wig on his head. The caption: Leclerc’s new girl. “I wish I could pull off that shirt.”

Two weeks later.

The camera crew were waiting out on the track and you caught Charles’ eyes in the mirror as you fixed your hair. 

“Ready, mi amor?” 

“How do I look?” you asked as you gave him a spin to show off your outfit. 

“Gorgeous as always,” he said with a wink. “And a little bit scary if I'm honest.”

You straightened up the collar of the red plaid shirt and brushed your fingers along his jaw. “Is it the wife beater or the wig?”

“Maybe the big dick energy?”

“Gotta play the part, baby,” you teased as you swaggered over to the door with exaggerated steps. “This is what your fans are expecting of me.”

Marketing and Promo were having a field day. They had scoured the internet for ideas to make this video after Charles had given them the heads up that you were going to take your relationship public. You were both more than happy to make it a unique announcement since a sense of humour was something that you both shared.

The final cut was a work of art, and you had watched it at least three times over as your stomach ached from all the laughter. There had been parking challenges, slalom races through cone tracks, and even hot laps around the circuit in Imola. It had been an absolute thrill to shoot, especially with the ridiculous costume, but you were glad to be back in your own clothes.

“Well at least you didn’t lie in that interview,” you pointed out after seeing the final score for the challenges. “You won the F1 race.”

Charles draped a lazy arm over your shoulders and he pulled you closer, his lips brushing your ear as he spoke, “Would you believe if I said I practised reversing and parallel parking with Pierre all week?”

You paused the replay on the tv and shifted onto his lap, cradling his face in your palms. “Oh, my love, Pierre can’t park any better,” you said before your lips twitched with a suppressed smile. “You should have asked Kika.”

[lowkeyrobin]

hello if your okay with it could you do a mcyt x reader of reader having been deployed and then like coming home and supprising them or just reader in militrary

thank you

ooo okay! I can definitely try for you! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; tumblr crashed in the middle of Freddie's so his and Tommy's might be very watered down...

MCYT ; deployed

includes ; tommyinnit, badlinu, maxggs, & quackity

warnings ; language, talk about death/murder

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he's so lonely without you bro

he often says "I'm gonna show y/n this" or "I'm calling y/n" to be met with silence or a dial tone

he normally texts you good morning and goodnight even though you can't see them

you turned your phone off when you were coming home so he wouldn't catch on to any of his texts sending or being read

he wasn't home when you returned, but you also didn't know when he'd be back

so you made the quickest trip to party city -in uniform- to grab balloons, streamers and a cake from the bakery next door

kinda weird making your own welcome home party but he'd appreciate it so it didn't matter

you return, and by 7 or 8, he does too

"I'm home!" You exclaim, jumping up from behind the couch

his jaw drops and his heart skips a beat before he runs over to hug you

"oh my god, I missed you so much, you don't even know!"

FREDDIE BADLINU

he usually sends pictures / texts about his day and stuff even though you can't see them nor respond

he also leaves voicemails when he goes out just telling you that he loves you and stuff

you didn't tell him you were coming home, deciding to just surprise him, since you honestly forgot you had a phone

you grabbed some food and wandered around town before going home

in the window you could see max, freddie, harry & tommy streaming in the front room, watching some awful movie

you unlock the door with your house key, and the boys snap their heads to the door, pausing the movie, thinking they were about to be robbed on stream

and in walks you, and freddie runs to you with open arms

"holy shit, why didn't you tell me you were coming home??"

meanwhile tommy grabbed the camera to hastily record the reunion, harry and max watching with smiles beside him

"whatre you watching??"

"a ripoff ratatouille, it's called ratatoing"

MAXGGS

he often talks about how much he misses you and usually streams / records things so he can show you later

soooo many pictures that you've yet to see

you texted freddie and tommy once you got your phone back, informing them you were coming home and wanted to surprise max

they were down with the idea and helped you get back from the airport & went to the store with you to grab a cake and some other little stuff

lots of looks considering you were still in uniform but it's alright

you got home while max was gone, freddie having taken him out for lunch while you and tommy set up the stuff and chilled out for a minute

you were watching the first garfield movie when max and freddie returned

"oh, hey max"

"y/n?? oh my god!"

big reunion hug that freddie filmed for you guys 🫶💔

ALEX QUACKITY

he's always whining and crying about how much he misses you

"I miss y/n 😔☹️"

he spams your phone like once a week, sending you memes and shit

on your way home, you turned on your phone, seeing he was live, making sure not to click on the unread messages

you'd brought home some little souvenirs for him

there was a rubber duck dressed in nationality wear to wherever you were deployed (America with a dumb flag hat & flag, Mexico with a sombrero, etc I think ykwim)

you use your house key to get inside, set your things down, and creep around his office to not alert him that you were home

you open his door, and he initially blames tiger

"bruh, does it look like I'm a cat??"

he looks over st you with a wide smile. "holy shit, y/n!!"

you walk over to hug him and he's holding back tears and shit

"i thought you were out killing people right now?"

"bro, i was just chilling at a base..."

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

The Grim Reaper's Guide to Breaking Every Rule of the Universe /// Chapter 1

I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who showed love towards the prologue and the memes I made, I've ended up gaining more followers in the last week than I have in the last couple years lol. Unfortunately Alastor isn't going to make an appearance for at least two chapters, but I hope you like what I've written so far. Enjoy!

Summary: When touring America for the sake of it, you go to stay with your aunt in New Orleans for a while, taking up a peaceful part-time job restoring objects. But a few weeks in, a package arrives containing an old radio that's seen better days, along with a note seemingly written by someone who thinks they could fist-fight the Devil.

What you didn't know, was the hell of a path that was now set out in front of you. Not fist-fighting the Devil, but instead a very smug radio host who would have no problem spending the rest of his days driving you up the walls.

But two could play that game.

Tags: Demiromantic-Asexual Alastor x Demiromantic-Asexual OC/Reader - 1920s/30s New Orleans - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Violence (It's Alastor what else)

Word Count: 5278

Warnings: Period-typical racism and sexism, Period-typical attitudes towards neurodivergency. MC'S RACE IS DEFINED DUE TO PLOT REASONS (also because she is based off my OC)

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

< Prologue // Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 >

PART 1: Chapter 1

Congrats! You're Adopted

Impluvius (Definition): Soaked with rain. (Adjective)

New Orleans, Louisiana, USA – Tuesday, 11th June, 1929.

Arriving on your Aunt’s doorstep soaked to the bone in the middle of a hurricane was the last thing on your list of ‘crazy crap that could happen’. But alas, here you were, shivering and seething as you hauled your trunks up the steps to the front door. You were lucky enough that the area was only being battered by the edge of the storm, allowing you to find a sleeper train that was still willing to run from Montgomery to New Orleans, but it had left you in a sour mood when they had revoked their food services, because damn you were in the mood for a simple ham and cheese sandwich. And the mood only had to sour further when you found yourself standing outside the station for a good fifteen minutes waiting for a driver whilst you and your belongings were drowned by the ongoing summer downpour. Sure, you were used to the torrential downpour of the Yorkshire moors, where there were more wet days than dry, but you were prepared for that, not for the barbarous battering of the 70mph winds that forced you to stuff your useless hat away, leaving the once neat updo of hair that you had meticulously styled that morning to whip you in the eye whenever a gale flew past.

And, as if the gods had something out for you, the taxi that pulled up decided it would be hilarious to speed to a stop in the middle of the giant puddle that had accumulated next to the pavement, sending out a small wave that reached your ankles, soaking your frilly socks and favourite patterned heeled oxford shoes that your mother had gifted on your 18th birthday.

“Oh for Christ’s sake.” You hissed to yourself, lifting your foot to inspect the leather. The driver was lucky that they were already three years old, otherwise you would’ve given him a glare deathly enough to send him to an early grave. Or so you hoped.

Thankfully, the driver didn’t pay you much attention, clearly too tired for small talk, simply asking for an address. Though he had paused when you spoke, turning to eye you up and down where you were cramped uncomfortably between your luggage in the back seat, grunting out a “You English?”, to which you nodded, muttering that you were visiting your aunt. The drive was silent after that, the only sound being the loud sputtering engine and the rain that pounded against the windshield. Minutes passed and you were quickly outside the house, which led to now: trembling in your boots, rapping your knuckle against the green wooden door with wet hair clinging to your face and eyebags that could rival a chronic insomniac.

It wasn’t long until the sound of locks clicking and unlatching reached your ears, and the door creaked open, an eye peeking through the gap. After it landed on you, it quickly swung open, revealing your Aunt Agnes in a nightgown and robe, with an oil lantern in hand. At the sight of her, you gave a half-wave and shaky smile.

She gasped your name. “Oh, there you are my lovely! I thought you got lost in the storm!” Realising the state you were in, she hurriedly placed the lantern on the hallway cabinet, rushing out to help you haul your luggage in. “I was so worried your train had been cancelled by the hurricane. Here, get yourself out the cold – you can put your coat to dry by the fire.” She handed you your leather duffel bag before crouching down and lugging the largest trunk into her arms with a grunt. Making sure everything was in the hallway, she went to close the door, though you didn’t miss the wary scan she took of the street, or the diligent focus of making sure every lock and chain was in place. The wariness soon disappeared, however, as she spun around to face with a grin, her thick braid of long, brown hair whipping over her shoulder.

Giggling as she bounded over, she wrapped you up in a strong hug, and you reciprocated with matching eagerness, but also trying your best not to cringe at the squelching noises your waterlogged coat made. 

“It’s so nice to see you!” You said exhausted as you released her, teeth still chattering from the chill. “The rooves were practically coming off in Montgomery, so I’m surprised they were willing to keep the trains running.”

“Well there’s no need to worry about that any more, you’re here now! Come, I must get you warmed up.” she asserted warmly, leading you with a hand rubbing against your back, down the hallway into the kitchen. Rummaging through a wicker basket, she pulled out a spare nightgown. “Go see if your spare underwear is dry, then head to the bathroom across the hall and change into this. I’ll go make you some warm milk and honey.”

Thanking her, you quickly made your way into the living room where your belongings had been left, unlatching the clasps of the trunk to reveal your damp clothing. Luckily, there was some underwear in the middle that had not yet been affected, so you grabbed them and returned to the hallway to try and find the bathroom.

After several failed attempts of opening the wrong doors, you finally came across the bathroom, eagerly shedding yourself of your dripping wet layers, welcoming the warmth of the soft, dry underwear and ivory coloured nightgown. Returning to the living room, you dumped your wet clothes on your trunk, before walking around the sofa. Planting your behind in the armchair closest to the fire, you melted into the cushions with a relieved sigh, sticking your feet out in front of the flames to try and get some feeling back in your toes.

It wasn’t long before the clinking from the kitchen ceased, and your Aunt came back through, meticulously balancing a wooden tray with two large steaming mugs sat on top. Placing them down, she handed you the one covered in purple flowers. Thanking her, you instantly took a sip, letting the sweet honey and heated milk warm your insides as you watched your aunt take a seat in her own well-loved armchair.

“Sooo,” she began with a knowing grin whilst tossing you a crocheted blanket. “How’s America been so far for you?”

You scrunched your face in thought. “…Surprisingly not as bad as I thought. I think Great-Auntie Beatrice had influenced my opinion a bit too much growing up.”

Agnes rolled her eyes. “A bit?? That old woman has despised the country since that American lad up and left her back in the 1870’s.”

You snorted over your mug. “Well, she certainly has taught me to not raise my expectations about the place, but, I’ve got to say it has allowed me to be more impressed by what I see – especially the Appalachian mountains, they’ve definitely got a unique charm to them. Thank you, by the way, for letting me use your cabin up there.”

She waved you off. “Oh, it’s no problem, really. I would give you the place if the twins weren’t so keen on going up there.”

“Speaking of the twins, how are the three of you doing?” you asked.

Agnes let a weary smile cross her face. “We’re doing better, now anyways. The twins had some issues when starting school here – starting fresh at 16 in a completely different country certainly has its cons. It’s died down now, but in the first few months they were followed home by some kids who would taunt them for the way they spoke. Hell,” she laughed in disbelief. “they even had a teacher who thought they were Scottish for the first three weeks until I came in for a meeting about their grades and spent ten minutes explaining to her that not everyone in England speaks the same way as those pompous Londoners who squeal at the slightest bit of mud on their shoes.”

“What?!!” you guffawed, trying to stifle a laugh. “Please tell me they at least beat some of the kids up.”

“I wish.” Agnes sighed, sinking back in her chair. “But I don’t want anymore attention on them than they already have. Anything else and those kids will go looking for dirt on them and the last thing I want is for them to find out who their father is.”

You looked up at her in surprise. “You don’t??” you asked, perplexed.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Agnes said sternly. “I loved their father to the ends of the universe and back, but the two of them being mixed English-Japanese will garner the wrong type of attention here. God forbid, if it gets out their mum’s a pagan witch it’ll be the end of peace!” She vented, throwing her arms up in frustration.

You pondered her words for a moment. “But I thought New Orleans was considered a safer place for things like witchcraft? Isn’t voodoo a popular religion and practice here?”

“It is, but it’s still kept more on the down-low. When you have a religion originating from a place like Africa, white Christians can get reeeaallll iffy about it, and it’s no different here – I believe there’s laws in place against parts of the practice.” She explained. “But it doesn’t stop them from keeping their shops open. Our neighbour Neliah runs a gorgeous corner shop near the outskirts – I can’t and won’t practice voodoo, but I do treat myself with a visit whenever I need new herbs, I could literally fall asleep in there with the lovely way it smells.” You smiled at the way she seemed to get lost in thought, though she quickly snapped herself out of it. “But anyway! How’s my sister doing? How did Emmett react with the news?”

You startled slightly at the sudden change. “Yea, mum’s actually doing alright. Dad… took a while to get his head around what was going on, you know, when he found her Grimoire and spell books, and the fact that we’d been hiding it from him for years, but he’s surprisingly calmed down about it. They still go to church, to keep up their reputation and all that, but he’s letting her hang up protection wards around the house, he even got involved with casting a spell with us at one point, even though he had no clue what he was doing the whole time.” You snorted, memories of your father’s wide eyes as he watched your mother wave a stick of incense around him, reminding you of the time when you were around six, you had returned from the forest by your house, covered in mud and brandishing stick-swords, declaring yourself as the deer queen as you dragged a shedded antler you had found among the moss through the back door – the look on your father’s face when he walked in from work to see you tying pink ribbons along the muddy, moss-covered bone was priceless.

Agnes let out a chortle, before sipping at her drink, her expression shifting slightly to one of mild concern. “And uh, how did they react when you were – ah – found out?”

Right, the whole reason you were here in the first place. “Not the greatest.” You said dejectedly. “Mum was distraught when they said they were thinking of taking me away – calling them every name under the sun the second they said ‘asylum’. So when dad suggested coming here, she jumped at the chance, but was crying the whole drive to the docks. I gave them an itinerary of where I was going to be and when, and they’ve been using it to send me letters and gifts, but it’s been hard being fully alone for the first time in my life.” You sank into your chair, tears building in your eyes the longer you spoke.

Agnes looked you up and down, her eyes filled with sorrow for you. “Well,” she began softly, standing up to approach you with a gentle hand on your shoulder. “you're not alone anymore, so you can forget about those stupid government officials and your, uh,” she squinted her eyes in confusion. “what do they call it?”

“Over action of the mind.” You forced out with a huff. “They don’t have an official name for it, but me being fidgety and forgetful is enough for them to call me insane apparently.”

She held her hand out for you to take, which you did, allowing her to pull you up. She said your name sternly. “You are not insane. You’re the loveliest, most intelligent girl I know – especially considering the amount of books you’ve read in your 21 years.” You gave her a small smile as thanks. “Now, I’ve readied your bedroom for you. It’s a little bare, but you're staying a while so I’ve left it to be up to your imagination, and with how fast your mind goes a minute, I’m sure you’ll make it the most fantastical and extravagant room in New Orleans.” She explained as she helped you pick up your luggage, leading you through the hallway and up the stairs.

Walking down the main upper hallway, you followed her down a second one to the left, until you came to a stop on the first door on the left side. Lowering her voice to a whisper, Agnes gestured to the door on the left further down. “That’s the bathroom. I’ve moved the boys’ stuff out and given them the second one across the main hall so you can have it to yourself.” She then gestured to the two doors on the right side of the hall, with a sign hanging on each, though the candlelight was too dim to make out the words. “That’s their bedrooms, so I’m afraid you’ll have to prepare for some loud wake-up calls.” She said with an amused smile.

Opening the first door on the left, she led you into a spacey room, that was, as described, quite bare, with only a four-poster bed pushed into the top-right corner, a dark, polished set of drawers and matching wardrobe facing the bed on the opposite wall, along with a familiar -looking changing screen in the bottom left corner decorated with storks flying above a Japanese landscape – you recognised it as one of the wedding gifts your uncle had gifted your aunt sixteen years ago. In the top left corner by the large open window was a vanity with clawed feet, holding up a large, ornate oval mirror, a cushioned stool pushed under it. Next to it was another door that led to the balcony. Nearer to the bedroom door was a large roll top desk, covered in drawers, shelves and pigeon holes, though the only object present was a small typewriter tucked under one of the shelves.

Excitement filling you, you strode across the room to the bed, the feeling of the fluffy rug under your feet a welcoming sign. Placing your trunk and bag down as gracefully as you could, you spun around to face your aunt with a wide grin on your face. “This is amazing!” you gasped quietly, mindful of the two other sleeping residents. “You didn’t have to give me all this.”

“Of course I did!” Agnes exclaimed, walking over to give you another hug. “Did you forget your mother and I practically lived and raised you and the twins together until just a year ago? I’m treating the three of you as equals until the day I die.”

Looking down at her, you observed the slight wrinkles appearing under her eyes, and the dark rings accompanying them that hadn’t been there the last time you saw her back when she still lived in York. Sighing, you stepped back. “I know.” You agreed warmly. “And thank you, for everything you’ve done so far.”

She ruffled the top of your head, your long strands of hair still clumped together with rain water and the clips you had failed to pin it back with. “Anything for you. Now get some sleep, it’s past midnight and the boys will be giving you the earliest and loudest wake-up call once they figure out you’re here.”

You agreed, bidding your aunt goodnight before taking the candle she left for you over to the vanity, where you spent the next ten minutes trying your best to find every pin and clip in your damp hair, then tediously trying to brush it smooth enough to then twist into a loose braid. You also quickly took out your belongings that were wet, hanging them over the screen and the drying rack you had found in the wardrobe. Satisfied you collapsed onto the double bed, bouncing slightly on the plush mattress. Burying yourself under the covers, you blew the candle out, bathing the room in darkness, and using the rain outside as white noise, you slowly drifted off, mentally preparing yourself for the twins when they would come to wake you up.

Oh, and wake you up they did.

New Orleans, Louisiana, USA – Wednesday, 12th June, 1929.

You were barely able to pull your heavy eyelids apart when the door in the far corner swung open, the door handle hitting the wall with a resounding ‘BANG!’, followed by a very loud “BOYS!!”, echoing through the house.

That wasn’t the end of it though. You had barely begun to turn over at the sound of several pairs of heavy footsteps bounding across the wooden floorboards, when two very heavy weights crashed on top of you, causing your eyes to fly open as the wind was knocked out of you.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” you screeched, flailing about as much as you could until your arms were free, reaching over the covers to shove at the two long figure sprawled across you.

Loud giggling filled your ears, and you looked over your duvet to find two familiar identical-looking faces, with matching cheshire grins, peering over at you mischievously from where they laid across your body. Groaning, you flopped back down, choosing instead to stare at the forest green drapes strung across the poster bed. Though it was soon replaced by two mops of loose, curly hair as they peeked over the edge at you, one dark brown-almost black, the other a pale blonde. You were thankful of their opposite hair colour, because the only way you would’ve been able to tell them apart otherwise would be with the different freckles and moles dotted across their pale faces.

“Mum said you came in looking like a soggy rat last night.” Teased Allie, reaching out to prod at your cheek with a snicker.

Your own hand shot out, shoving his blonde head away. “Did not.” You responded groggily, as you tried to shove his twin off the other side of you. “Now get your fat arses off of me.”

They gasped in mock offence, immediately plopping themselves back on top of you, both reaching to poke and prod at your face. “You said a bad word ~” Ollie chimed in a sing-song voice, kicking his legs behind him playfully as he tried to shove a finger in your ear. Slapping them both away, you prepared for another onslaught, until determined footsteps drew closer to your door, and the two of them froze as their mother walked in, a wooden spoon grasped in her hand.

“ODESSEY. ADAGIO. Get off of your cousin before I send you to school WITHOUT breakfast!” She hollered, a thunderous look on her face.

The two of them collectively groaned. “Muuuumm, don’t call us thaaaat.” Whined Ollie, as he took his sweet time slowly rolling over your whole body before sliding off the bed to stand next to his equally grumpy brother. You followed not long after, sitting up at the edge to watch the ordeal with a smug smile.

“Call you what?! Your real names?! Well then, you better get yourselves downstairs!” she exclaimed, pointing at the door with the wooden spoon.

Reluctantly, they complied, but that didn’t stop Allie from poking his tongue out as he disappeared through the doorway, narrowly missing a swing from his mother’s spoon. Facing your aunt, you finally noticed that she was already up and dressed for work, donning a cream blouse with a blue ribbon tied around the neck, along with a matching blue maxi pencil skirt that reached just above her ankles. Her hair was meticulously styled in an updo similar to the one you had yesterday, her chestnut brown hair twisted back in swirls that ended in a loose low bun, with some strands neatly framing her face. She approached you, the short heels of her shoes muffled by the rug.

“Morning! Breakfast is ready.” She explained with a smile that you returned. “Freshen yourself up and come meet us downstairs, ok?” You agreed, and she disappeared back downstairs.

Rummaging through you clothes that were now thankfully dry, you opted for a loose blouse, and a pair of wide-legged tweed trousers, taking them to the bathroom. Slipping a leather belt through the loops, you quickly wet your hair over the bath, scrubbing in some shampoo and conditioner before rinsing it out and rubbing a towel over the strands until it was no longer dripping. Happy with the light makeup you applied, you headed back downstairs, running a hand through the wet tangles until you reached the dining table.

“I see what mum meant by soggy rat.” You turned to see Allie smirking over the table as you sat down in front of a plate full of English breakfast.

“I’ll turn you into a soggy rat.” You muttered back, stuffing half a hash-brown into your mouth, whilst simultaneously trying not to sigh in relief after not eating for at least 24 hours.

“OoOoh shiver me timbers!” he mocked back, waving his hands in mock fright.

Ollie’s tall figure appeared as he walked over from the kitchen - bacon, eggs, hash-browns and baked beans piled excessively onto his plate. “Mum told us you were going to be staying in our cabin up in the mountains.” He said as he sat down. “Did you like the gift we left?” he said with a grin half lopsided by the food he was shoving in his mouth.

You glared up at them from your plate. “Yes. The excessive amount of fake cockroaches in the bathroom was a very welcomed surprise. Odessey.”

The grin on your cousin’s face fell into a pout at the use of his full name. Letting out a prolonged grunt, he returned to his breakfast.

“Besides,” you started. “It’s not like I’m the only one suffering here. Apparently you’re both Scottish now.”

The two of them let out a collective groan, slumping in their seats.

“It’s not our fault Miss Sammie has less intelligence than a hamster.” Whined Allie as he stabbed an egg with his fork. “She thought Japan was part of China the other day!”

You let out a sharp laugh. “I hope that doesn’t reflect on your learning, or your mum will end up with steam coming out her ears.” You snickered.

“Thankfully it doesn’t.” replied Ollie, rolling his grey eyes as he stuck a whole wad of bacon in his mouth, making sure to not get any grease on his uniform. “Otherwise we’d be begging mum to move us back to England.”

“Speaking of moving, how are you guys finding it here?” you asked, hoping the answers were positive.

“Meh, it’s been alright.” Said Allie with a shrug. “The alligators are cool, but apparently we’re not allowed to wrestle them, which is soooo boring.”

“And the summers are shit. Nothing but heatwaves.” Ollie added.

“Well that’s what you get when you’re used to living in the North-East of England, where one of the nearest land masses is Norway.” You pointed out. “Plus English summers can be unbelievably humid, so I’m not sure what you’re whining about.”

“Oho, just you wait until July hits, then you’ll eat your words.” He retorted. “Hurricane season can be a bitch, too.”

“Don’t remind me.” You groaned. “I barely experienced the tail-end of one last night and it almost killed me.”

The two cackled at you, much to your annoyance, but is was cut short at the sound of your name being called. Looking up, you watched as your aunt poked her head around the doorway, the handset of a rotary phone pressed between her ear and shoulder, beckoning you over with an eager look, before disappearing back into the hallway. Quickly, you got up, marching round the table. Turning the corner, you watched as she ended the call. “Yes, yes. Thank you so much Mr LeBlanc, I’ll call you back as soon as I can. Yes – buh-bye now. Bye.”

Placing the phone back on its metal cradle, she whirled around to face you, excitement prominent on her features. “Sooo, that was Mr LeBlanc on the phone…” she proclaimed, eyeing you with a growing smile.

All you could do was stare in confusion, silence filling the wood-panelled hallway. Agnes darted her wide eyes between you and the phone, clearly waiting in anticipation for your reaction, but you only knew two things about New Orleans: jazz, and that it had a river shaped slightly similar to the London Thames. So you continued to stare.

Seeing that you weren’t going to react, she let out a sigh. “Mr LeBlanc runs Héritage Amour Réparation D’Antiquités on Julia Street down near the Mississippi River, and he’s willing to take you on as an apprentice?” she said as if it was the most obvious thing on Earth.

You blinked. “Wait, you’ve been looking for apprenticeships for me??” You gawked. “Since when??? I don’t think I even mentioned that I would be looking for one in the letters I sent you.”

“Oh, you haven’t.” she assured. “Your mum told me in a letter about a month ago when you were up in New York, so I thought I would speed up the process by looking for one for you.”

You continued to gawk in silence.

“Careful,” smirked Allie from over your shoulder. “You’re gonna catch flies.”

You didn’t even turn to face him as you reached a hand back, ignoring his whine as you smushed it against his face, shoving him back into the dining room.

“You –” you pointed at yourself. “You got me an apprenticeship??” She nodded excitedly. “Jesus Christ Agnes. At this point I’m gonna be indebted to you for the rest of my life!”

She clasped her hands together, throwing her head back as she laughed. “It’s no problem, really. I just want you to get settled in as soon as possible. I told Mr LeBlanc that if you accepted, he’s welcome to come for tea on Friday to meet you, then, if he’s happy, we’ll go for a day out around the city centre, and maybe visit him in his shop during that time. Sound good?”

You blinked repeatedly, trying to wrap your head around what your aunt was saying. “I – uh, yea. That would be great, actually.”

“Great! I’ll give him a call back, and you’ll meet him on Friday.” She proclaimed, satisfied as she picked the phone back up, holding the headset to her ear whilst twisting the numbers into the dial.

Still in a small state of shock, you turned back towards the dining room, slowly making your way back to your seat. Plopping down, you were met with the smug smiles of the twins.

“Looks like you’re gonna have to splurge big time on mum’s birthday. Don’t ’cha think Allie?” said Ollie, turning to his brother with a shit-eating grin.

His brother returned his expression with equal enthusiasm. “Oh yea. I was thinking, perhaps a top of the range Gramophone? I heard they have the new model in down at that shop on Canal Street.” He turned to you. “What do ya think cousin? Ready to serve our mum for the rest of eternity?”

All you could do was flick egg at their foreheads.

——

Friday came running up on you before you even realised, and here you were helping your aunt prepare roasted duck and vegetables whilst simultaneously trying to keep the twins away from the desserts in the icebox – you figured the sneaky buggers knew exactly what creaky floorboards to avoid. When the doorbell rang, Agnes encouraged you to go answer it, so, putting on a smile, you opened the door to welcome in your guest.

Mr LeBlanc was a warm and chirpy type of man: 63 years old with white hair and a matching frizzy moustache and beard, dressed in a smart blue shirt and neatly ironed trousers and slacks. He was around 5’7 – around the average height for men at this time. Sticking his hand out, he gave you a wide smile, and feeling the welcoming aura ride off him in waves, you gladly grasped his outstretched hand with your own.

“Bonne soirée! I do hope I’ve got the right address!” he laughed, his accent a funny mix between French and southern American. You assured that he was at the right place, introducing yourself. “Oh, what a lovely name! I am Ralph LeBlanc, but I’m sure your aunt has already informed you of me.” He said expectantly, voice slightly croaky and hoarse from old age.

Giving him a smile and a nod, you invited him in, bringing him to the dining room where your aunt and cousins were just finishing the preparations for dinner, and you all sat down, tucking into the delicious meal.

The dinner was successful, Ralph happily agreeing to take you on as an apprentice whilst also assisting him with running the repair shop, as he was currently the only one managing it. You had informed him of your history degree, and your school awards in art, and after that he was very eager to agree, almost acting excited when he invited you to come to the shop next Monday for a ‘starter shift’ where he would show you the ropes and make sure you were settled. It was as if the gods switched up on your luck, turning it round from the horrific start you had arriving here, and you weren’t planning on losing this good streak anytime soon.

“Now,” said Mr LeBlanc as he stood putting his coat on by the front door. “Make sure you are wearing something comfy and flexible, preferably pants if you own any, as we don’t want any skirts getting trapped in anything.” You nodded, and he paused for a moment, looking up at you. “Odd question, but how tall are you and your cousins? I don’t think I’ve met many with your heights, especially a woman.”

You glanced at your feet, now conscious of the way you towered over him slightly. “Last time I checked I was 5’9, and the twins are 6 foot. I uh, got it from my dad – he’s 6’1, and they got it from theirs.”

His eyes widened as he puffed his cheeks out. “La vache that’s tall. And did you say the boys were only 16? Wow, I really ain’t trying to make this sound weird but those magazine people would snatch you three up if they knew you were here.”

You laughed shaking your head, albeit nervously at the thought of having your picture taken. Thanking him, you waved him out and said your goodbyes.

Closing the door, you let out a relieved sigh, grateful that the evening was successful, and you retreated back to your room for the evening.

Thought it didn’t stop your excitement for the Monday to come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you've enjoyed it so far! The ending’s a bit rushed, and Alastor's not going to appear for a couple chapters, but I hope I can make the wait worth it. See you soon for Chapter 2!!

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[eisa-core]

I would like to request going seventeen ( insomnia-zero II #1) episode 29

[GOING SEVENTEEN] EP.29 불면제로 II (Insomnia-Zero)

🌟 Insomnia-Zero returns 🌟 in all it's meme-making glory!

With their cringy pasts being unearthed right there, who will maintain their cool and succeed in clocking out of work?!

«Okay! insomnia-zero season 2. Hoshi's insomnia-zero!»

Hoshi immediately began speaking energetically as soon as the staff started recording his show, Insomnia-zero: trying to keep calm, your heartbeat relatively low, while others disturb you by exposing your 'secrets' or by being, as usual, silly.

«It took longer than we expected to start the 2nd season» - Woozi continued along with Hoshi.

«That's right. But there's a reason for this: in fact, for season 2, the rules have been upgraded» - Hoshi continued presenting the new rules in the same initial tone. For Daisy this was new, in the first season of 2020, she had not been able to participate along with Seungcheol, but she had caught up with the episode and she was afraid she would not be able to go home that day.

«Let's start» - Hoshi finished introducing the new rules to the viewers, cubics and carats, and with a cut to the scene, the staff had started to place the bed and pillow, putting the heart rate meter on each person.

«Daisy, you weren't there the first time. How about we get started with you?» - Dokyeom pushed her into the middle but fortunately he didn't want to make her the first victim of the game, rather, the first to expose the secrets of... Mingyu.

Mingyu already embarrassed and aware of what was in store for him got under the covers, knowing that Daisy was not as much of an angel as she might have appeared.

«Oh you know, during Insomnia-Zero 1... I wasn't there. But I wanted to talk about what happened at a concert back in the days.» - Daisy sat back comfortably including the others to humour her with what she was going to say, it seemed like it wasn't something "new" at all.

«Oh that's legendary!» - Seungkwan added. «It was a concert abroad! He used to lift up his shirt to show off his abs!» - Daisy continued making everyone laugh, including the lighting technician who was playing behind them... yes new rules.

«And now that we can't do concerts, the only way we can meet our fans is during fansigns» - Daisy continued enthusiastically, Seungkwan next to her loved being able to add details about it.

«There's a very short span of time where we're outside and bodyguards with us leading the way» - «Exactly! And Mingyu in those five seconds-» - Daisy paused as just imagining the scene she wanted to describe was amusing. «He's stretching his biceps» - She concluded and then threw her back to the floor, shuffling her feet in embarrassment for her friend, who was squinting his eyes trying not to wake up.

Perhaps it was better for him, or he would have witnessed Seungkwan's super spot-on imitation. «Mingyu likes to show off» - Dokyeom added continuing with the muscle imitation. «야! people will think i'm a pervert!» - Mingyu could finally stand up and 'defend' himself, pointing a finger at Daisy who was flicking tongues at him.



«Go you now our dear princess» - Mingyu was looking forward to nothing more than being able to take revenge, but what could be expected from the only two aries in the group?

Daisy wanted to disappear now, her heart pounding just at the idea of having to participate in the game.

«It's time to reveal something that all of us have kept from you, even Jun and Minghao» - Jeonghan took the initiative, also naming the two members who were absent that day, and who he knew very well are the two members who never hide anything from little Hyejin.

«Carats, as you well know our dear Daisy is very obsessed with coffee» - Seungkwan continued. «Well coming from you...» - He was immediately interrupted by Woozi who, with this comment, made him roll his eyes. «It's her turn, not mine!» - He sulkily defended himself, Daisy giggled under her breath hearing the chaos they were already creating.

«Anyway, I was saying, she's obsessed with coffee, so for her birthday we had given her a coffee machine, she loved it, she used it every day» - Daisy feeling the memory of her beloved gift had brought her hands to her breast. «It's time to reveal why the coffee machine broke. I know, you think it was an internal fault but it wasn't...» - Daisy hearing these sentences opened her mouth wide, already not caring about how she was supposed to keep calm.

«It was Moon Junhui... he started clicking a thousand buttons until smoke came out and it stopped working» - The name of the culprit had been said under the laughter of the others, who watched poor Daisy inwardly weeping at the loss of her precious object. At the moment of the wake-up call she considered her 'sleeping' time to be over, she jumped up and walked straight towards the main camera. «Moon Junhui! Count your days!» - She put her hands to her hair shocked. «Are you watching this Jun? Stay in China! Don't come back here!» - She was obviously offended, but in a joking way.

«It is time to announce who can go home» - The pd-nim after all the members had gone through the "terrible sleep" waited to hear their names called. And so it was for all but Woozi, Mingyu and Daisy. Woozi had failed after there was a talk of his pride and a made-up story about (not pink boxers) but his Hercules-like muscles.

[After some no-holds-barred talk 'in front' of their backs, ASMR! Insomnia-Zero II, now with breathing techniques! Who will be the last member to stay awake?]

«Okay so with our ambiguous Mingyu, our Woozi who denies being a winner and our Daisy who lost her favourite svt member along with her coffee machine, let's begin the last round.» - Woozi huffed as he got used to these last sentences from Hoshi, it was the second time he had failed to come home in the four rounds. And that was what he hated the most. Daisy also, she never could stand asmr, especially she couldn't conceive how this could help her fall asleep, it only annoyed her.

[Hoshi's Mukbang; Hoshi's debut show starts] [Ramen Asmr]

«Oh Gosh.. Oh God.. this look so» - Woozi started to say and was interrupted by Mingyu and Daisy simultaneously «Good» - «Disgusting».

Hoshi continued to deliciously eat his pot of hot noodles, also chewing some kimchi and leaving very ambiguous comments such as "Mmm" "Aaah" every bite.

«Okay this is going too far» - Daisy could no longer continue, it was like torture. She stood cross-legged taking off her headphones. «Oh! Daisy's up! Let's interrupt the timer and calculate the results.» - Hoshi carried on with the last scene of the episode, which could give either obvious or shocking results. No one really understood what was the best method to keep a calm pace.

«In the meantime, tell us how you feel. Mingyu?» - «I feel ambiguous, I feel weird, but I'm confident i'm sure I will win» - He said giving Daisy, the one who led him to lose the previous rounds, a bad tongue. «Woozi?» - «I'm confident I will lose» - He replied bluntly and now abandoned to the fortunes of his fate with this type of Going Seventeen. «Daisy?» - «I'm hopeful that Woozi will lose too» - He answered the question with a wink at Woozi, in reality he knew full well that he was in danger of staying here until the end of the shoot.

«The results are in and...» - Hoshi had the paper given by the staff in his hand, laughing as soon as he read the name written on it. «Mingyu and Daisy you can go home!» - The two nominees held their hands clasped in prayer but upon hearing their names spoken and the word home immediately after made them get up and jump all over the room, as if until a few minutes before they hadn't been bickering at each other.

[2 Awards] [Insomnia-Zero is defined for WOOZI]

«Why is it always me?» - The producer thought aloud as Hoshi joined the group hug between Mingyu and Daisy. «Catch you tomorrow in the studio Woozi! Sleep well!» - Daisy added as a final comment full of glee, hurriedly taking off her microphone. «Guess who won't be singing on the next title track!»

ー☆ ͏

oc's masterlist

going seventeen

taglist: @cinnamon-falls ; @allthings-fandoms ; @taestrwbrry ; @illusionocnet ; @kimhyejin3108 ; @enhacolor

[proosh]

Idk how to put it but I want more on the lines of that cat meme with Gil and Tolys like more in depth of that vibe

This makes no sense I apologize

(This goes under a cut because it became a whole ass mini-crackfic lmao)

It goes something like this:

It’s one of their monthly little get-togethers which are ostensibly a collaborative effort between states, but they all know better than that. Most of them are smoking and the room is choked with nicotine and the long table has about four different ashtrays, all already overflowing.

Imports, exports, crime rates, deficits and expenditures and the good comrade East Germany is putting out his third cigarette and craving a banana. He’s raised the issue of lack of fruit imports already, but that earned him a steely glare and a stern order that juvenile hand gestures would not be tolerated. 

Gilbert had given Ivan a different juvenile hand gesture of choice and is currently chewing on his pen out of boredom as the meeting winds to a close with the same agonizing inevitability as the heat-death of the universe. He would probably prefer that to whatever Ivan is doing – he tunes back in: Raivis is being grilled for one failure or another. None of his business. He tunes back out. Not even the cheap and nasty nicotine is touching the edges of his horrifying sobriety.

Ivan is standing up and going to the blackboard that Gilbert has long-assumed has been installed for the sole purpose of patronising the various satellites and vassals as though they are children.

He claps his hands together to command attention.

“We come to our last point! I’m sure I don’t need to remind everyone how Comrade of the Month works, yes?”

Christ above. Gilbert can feel the ripple of annoyance from the others seated at the table. Everyone is running out of smokes. Ivan continues regardless.

“I will be brief. Our Nice Comrade of the Month Award For Excellency goes to our very own Tolys, for his good interpersonal behaviour.”

For the third month in a row. Gilbert rolls his eyes as there’s a bit of scattered clapping. Tolys is smiling, thinly as Ivan tapes his mugshot to the board.

“On the other hand, the Naughty Comrade of the Month Award for Dishonourable Conduct goes to Gilbert.”

A hush settles over the room and Gilbert pauses in the middle of chewing his pen to scrap.

“For what?” he asks to the silent room, despite himself. It could be anything from the musical bootlegging, to that time he stole bananas out of Ivan’s fridge, to constantly showing up to work still high off his tits from the night before, to any number of ‘dishonourable’ actions Ivan might have taken ire with.

Ivan pauses in the middle of taping his picture up, but completes that before turning back to the room and pinning Gilbert with a glare. The corner of his mouth ticks up.

“For biting me,” he says matter of factly, as if that narrows it down in the slightest. Gilbert can hear Feliks guffaw down the table. That doesn’t matter because Gilbert can sense an opening as his memory clicks into place for what he’s being punished for. He can’t help himself because he never could when opportunities present themselves.

“Where, again? Can’t remember. Probably all the brain damage, sorry.”

Ivan’s mouth does that ticking up again that means he’s going to be getting a belting later. That’s fine. Gilbert doesn’t grin because that would be giving the game away. He glances helplessly at his comrades, feigning confusion. They are, as a whole, delicately refusing to make eye contact.

Cowards.

“You bit me… Inappropriately,” Ivan concedes through clenched teeth and the snort Feliks makes spread into giggles from the table until they are silenced by another glare. “So you go on the board. That is all for today. You are all excused, our award recipients excepted. Good afternoon, comrades.”

The rest of them can’t seem to leave quick enough and Ivan makes sure to thank each and every one on the way out. Tolys is sending Gilbert a covert glare as he swings his boots up on the table. They were both going to be there for a while, as was standard for these sorts of proceedings.

“You bit him?” Tolys whisper-hisses, leaning across the table. Gil grins at him.

“In the ass.”

Gilbert isn’t sure because it’s not too long before Ivan returns his attentions to them, but he could swear he saw a flash of a furtive, amused smile cross Tolys’ face.

[leam1983]

Oversharing

Watched one of Swell Entertainment's videos on YouTube, earlier today, and she struck a point that gave me pause, concerning not only my own posting habits, but a few others' as well.

She started with the whole "Chase Glitch" nonsense that probably won a fair few people down South a Darwin Award, a few weeks back. Nowadays, so many of us tend to go through life more or less thinking "Is this going to make good content?" because all we want is that dopamine fix of a rush of Likes. I know Tumblr's mostly exempt from this, but people don't spend hours poring through PR snippets or DVR recordings of TV shows to create gifsets if, on some level, they don't think that the object of that gifset deserves sharing.

And on some level, you could argue that even this post qualifies as oversharing. Do I need to air out my thoughts about the Hellsite's weird posting habits or the way people on other platforms now think of life itself as a monetization platform? Not really. I do have the audacity to think it'll make for a fun or insightful read for someone, though. That makes me part of the problem, even if I'm not chasing clout outright.

To go back on gifsets, what really strikes me is that most of them depend on the viewer seeing what the uploader themselves sees in them. A lip curl, a bruise, a lingering gaze, and it's seemingly enough for people ranging from K-Pop stans to J-Drama fans and F1 diehards or even Swifties to wager that if they turn those forty-six seconds into a set of looping images, they'll get a handful of dopamine bursts ranging from "OMG, so cute!!" in the comments to basic Likes and Reblogs. Then you think a bit deeper into this and think "Wait, you guys are going nuts over the kinds of facial gestures everyone does? Really?"

To which the answer seems to be yes. Because he, she, they, whoever is the focus of choice in this case, struck the right pose at the proper second and made some kid on Tumblr go "D'awww!" for a second or two. Because someone else making the same exact faces wouldn't have had the same effect.

Which, when you think about it, really is as superfluous as it sounds - and really does qualify as oversharing. By Internet Standards, I'm what's scientifically referred to as "Halfway Dead", as I hail from the distant, mist-laden days that saw us make the same inferrences about faces or poses on TV - in the knowledge that this instant was ephemeral. Unless you had a VCR going, that lip smack that makes you weak in the knees is gone. Vaporized. Reduced to a memory as quickly as it formed.

And now, if the latest F1 darling pulls a bashful head-turn that spawns five or six High School AU fanfics on AO3, it's on the Hellsite. It'll be on the Hellsite until the servers die.

To which, as a Halfway Dead Crusty Old Fart Nobody Really Needs to Listen To, I'm left shrugging and assuming that this is what we've decided to record for posterity as a civilization, I guess. Narmer's tablet, Picasso's Guernica - and some kid turning his head in embarrassment in the middle of a press conference, paired with a couple hundred Notes of people losing their collective minds.

It reminds me of the meme-worthy paparazzi shot of Alexander Skarsgard shopping for groceries someplace and the gossip mag's content basically going "OMG, CELEBS USE BASKETS LIKE US!!!!!!!!!!!ONE1!ELEVEN!"

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

Spotify wrapped meme but BillRita and song uhhh 51 👀🦴

HEY so this is late but I rewatched the movie and finally figured out what I wanted to do with this prompt

Song 51 is "Everlong" acoustic version by Foo Fighters. My concept was to try to capture the song's bleak romanticism, with Rita POV on a mid-canon Cage. Incidentally, you can read the ficlet without this knowledge, but I imagine Cage being post-farmhouse, and after the realization about the visions being a lie, taking a couple runs to just train with Rita and pretend they're still in early stages.

Billrita, 558 words:

He doesn't talk much. Grim. In between sessions he sits on the floor against the wall, like a statue in the mech suit, until Rita says they can go again. It's almost peaceful. They've been training on and off well into the night--they have a couple hours before morning, when Rita should probably shoot him.

“Go again, Cage,” she tells him, and Cage starts the process of getting up in the mech. Partway, he stumbles, and his face twitches with frustration as he uses the wall as a brace. Rita watches him for longer than she should, the way his shirt bunches around his hips. She turns away to boot up the robots.

They fight on either side of the stone arena at first—Cage’s grunts and bullet sprays filter from a distance through the clash of sword on steel—but soon they meet in the middle, not touching or looking at each other, but moving around each other, sometimes fighting the same enemy. Cage’s style is clumsy, and his command of the mech is bad, but he’s solid. He tackles the robots with a doggedness that ends in a kill. Rita can predict him easily, and use him as a prop, like a bookend or a paperweight.

When the exercise ends, Cage turns and starts to stomp over to the side again, to slump like a puppet with his strings cut, but Rita says, eyeing his retreating back, “Get out of the mech.” He pauses for a beat too long. Either this is new behavior from her, or he’s laying it on thick to make her believe she can surprise him.

The mech clicks as it withdraws and he steps out of it, leaving it half-open and grasping. His feet are quiet on the stone floor. He’s in his socks, black socks, she notices as he turns towards her, and a t-shirt that shows his arms.

Rita disengages her own mech with a swipe of her thumb and steps out. She strides across the length of the room until she’s only a few steps away. Cage keeps his eyes on her the whole time, and doesn’t move.

“Have I had you do a plank for me before?” says Rita.

“No.” She itches to correct him—"No, sir."

Instead she says, “Can you do one?”

“Yes.”

“Go,” she says.

He drops immediately. His body isn’t made for strength work, his arms starting to tremble within a few seconds, but he doesn’t show it in his face. His hands splay out against the stone, stark tension in his tendons.

Rita crouches next to him. He cuts a strange figure, serious, looking at once like a struggling child and a soldier, his legs stiff as boards. He takes steadying breaths, and his teeth worry into his bottom lip, which looks chapped. She could trace a line from his ankles to the nape of his neck. He doesn’t look at her.

“Your form isn’t bad,” she says, and he twitches. His composure stutters—he probably has another thirty seconds in him. “Go another minute.”

Cage's gaze flickers to her, the miserable pinch of his eyes making something spark in her chest. He gasps out, “I'm gonna die if I do that, Rita.”

"I'm killing you after a minute either way," she tells him. He looks at her and sighs, low. His body holds.

[pieofdeath]

ok my liveblog of the first spiderverse movie below the cut because its fuck off long. its 6 pages on google docs. for people who don't wanna read that- I had a very good time and I thoroughly enjoyed it, I'm gonna queue up the second one here shortly. i legitimately cried several times.

Intro fucking slaps

Miles’ dad using the cop sirens and car speaker to make miles say ily back. I hate that i find this incredibly funny.

ARE THOSE NIKES. DID SONY GET THE RIGHTS FOR NIKES.

MIDDLE SCHOOL. Oh my god. Middle school. Hes a kid. Hes at most 14. Oh my god.

DOC OCK <3

GWEN SPOTTED!!!!!

Fisk family foundation. Is this the time i should mention my extent of spiderman knowledge comes from my faefriend (very little they just show off the cool suits) and the snapcube fandub.

Uncle aaron rules and i think hes gonna die

Alchemax. Wasnt that the name on the spider from the intro. 

I THINK I GET IT NOW

SPIDER IN THE CEILING SPOTTED

This movie is so pretty btw i know everybody says that but its simply true. It is. Its really pretty.

The graffiti slaps

I've switched to typing these on my phone so I don't have to keep pausing

SPIDER BITE

THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER. INCREDIBLE TRANSITION. LOVE HOW MILES BARELY CARED AND JUST SLAPPED THE SPIDER 

Yeah those are actual Nikes 

THE VOICE IN HIS HEAD POST SPIDERMAN BEING REPRESENTED AS COMIC BUBBLES

HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE IS GENIUS.

Why doesn't she want people to know her name is Gwen? Why is she lying about being south African 😭

gwanda. Wanda. 

THE SHOULDER TOUCH. MILES YOU ARE SO SILLY 

“I don't think you know what puberty is”

STICKY SPIDER BOY.

SHE FULL THREW HIM HOLY CRAP

“No one saw” literally everyone saw

the double take for the super tall girl. that's incredibly realistic/gen I think this movie is awesome 

OUT LOUD BARK-LAUGHED AT “play dumb.” “Who's Morales” “NOT THAT DUMB.”

Idiot spider smashing into windows. obsessed with him.

the zoom in on the eyes. this art style is incredible 

THE INCREDIBLY SICK LAND AFTER HE GOT HIT BY THE CAR!!!

page break 1

“It's like. boring how normal this spider is.” and it immediately glitching in and out. INCREDIBLE.

The SPIDER SENSE. HOLY SHIT. 

THE GIANT LOOK OUT ON THE WINDOW.

SPIDERMANNNNN

“Brooklyn is not zoned for that” 😭

The little squiggles as Peter RealizesTM

who the fuck is purple guy genuinely 

MILES RECORDING THE FIGHT I LOVE HIM

KINGPIN 💖

I genuinely don't have words for how fucking incredible that was

“Can't you get up?” “Yeah, yeah I always get up.” Hm I don't think that's gonna be true for much longer

Is spiderman blonde I thought he was a brunette 

DID HE JUST FUCKING KILL SPIDER-MAN!!!

Ok purple guy is cool as hell

HE IMMEDIATELY RAN HOME. I'm going to cry. 

This kid is 14. I'm going. 

SO YES HE LEGITIMATELY DIED.

STAN'S COLLECTIBLES. HI MR LEE. AUGJDJAKAKC…. 😭 (these r agonized noises)

“I'm going to miss him.” EUFHFJSKAK

We were friends, you know.” SURIEJSKAKDUFUA

“It always fits. Eventually.” EURUFJDKAKDJCJK.

you can't fucking do this to me. 

This is just a kid with a party city suit that doesn't fit and untied shoes.

THE AAAAAAA AS HE FALLS

oh shit he broke the drive thingy

The suit still has the fucking tag on it.

EVERYTHING AROUND PETER'S GRAVE.

“I'm sorry Mr. Parker.” AUDJFJDJDJAK…..

LIGHTNING POWERS

PETERRRRRR THE PETER IVE SEEN

THE INTRO DEFINITELY HAD OFF BRAND COCA COLA AND THIS ONE HAS LEGITIMATE COKE

HOLY SHITTTTT

he's divorced and aunt may is dead D:

Crying in the shower in the spiderman suit with a piece of pizza on the tub rim I think this is the most spiderman img ever

“I'm pretty sure I broke her heart”

Nick Kroll and John Mulaney “hi, hello” but they're super old 😭

YEAH OK OK IT WAS KOCA SODA. 

“I don't think my atoms are real jazzed about being in the wrong dimension”

“With great power comes great-” “Don't you DARE finish that sentence”

Miles crouching on the side of the wall

page break 2

ITS THE MEME IMG YAAAY

CLACKITY CLACKITY CLACKITY-

MILES CAN TURN INVISIBLE 

HER INSANE DESKTOP

HES JUST TAKING THE WHOLE COMPUTER!!!

GWEN ALCHEMAX INTERN

“let me tell you the good news. We don't need the monitor.” 😭

BAGEL! guy!!!!!

GWENNNNNNNNN

Ok I paused during the swinging scene to go get some food and get dressed and then came back

It was oatmeal btw

OHHH THIS IS NOT THE GWEN HERE

The fact that all of the intro shots are the same is very fun to me

Peters her best friend AWWW

OH IT IS THE GWEN HERE!!!

I THOUGHT IT WAS!! BECAUSE SHE WAS WEIRD ABOUT HIS STICKY POWERS

AND SHE TIME TRAVELED TOO… SO COOL

“I like your haircut.” “You don't get to like my haircut.”

“How many more spider people are there?” “Save it for comic-con” “what's comic-con”

Every time we cut to kingpin I lose it 

AW VANESSA AND RICHARD :(

why is this guy blue btw they haven't addressed it at allllll 

Fascinated by Gwen’s universe where Peter Parker isn't spiderman.

AWW PETER AWAKE IN THE BACKSEAT 

AUNT MAYYYYYY

I'm literally obsessed with aunt may 

ALL THE DIFFERENT SPIDERSUITS!!!!!

my faefriend has told me about all these I think. like a good chunk of these I recognize. No idea what they're called or what they do but.

THE IMG OF MILES LOOKING UP AT THE SPIDERSUIT.

THE NAME TAGS FROM THE INTROSSSS

SPIDEY SENSES

SPIDER NOIR HEHEHEHAHAUD

PENI AND HER FUNKY LITTLE MECH!

HIIIIIII SPIDERHAMMNMM!!!!!

LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH SPIDERNOIR. 

the dichotomy between noir peni and ham is so so funny

Noir is so cool

Augh… Them talking about how he isn't ready when he's right there…

HIS DAD CALLING HIS UNCLE… 

Why is he writing a letter in marker

Fucking prowler. looks so cool

OH SHIT PROWLER IS UNCLE AARON!?!?!

page break 3

NO LONGER WORRIED ABOUT HIS SAFETY HOLY SHIT

DID HE BRING HIM TO THE TUNNEL WITH THE INTENT OF SPIDERMAN?!

Uncle Aaron HAS to know that it's Miles

This is so fucked

Peni doing her fun thing!

Noir trying to identify colors!

Does that mean noir can only see grayscale. that's hilarious.

I love the different art styles

Aunt may like please let's not fight in my house

“We don't pick the ballroom, we just dance” noir I'm obsessed with you

Did ham just crack a plate over his own head

I love that he can turn invisible that's so cool 

Especially when he keeps flickering in and out when he's scared. Miles my beloved 

OH HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS MILES OH THANK GOD

I mean this is really really sad but also good because it means he isn't knowingly  homicidal towards his nephew 

HOLY SHIT. 

KINGPIN SHOOTING UNCLE AARON BECAUSE HE DIDNT KILL MILES

I'm going to sob on the fucking floor

HIS DAD 

HIM TURNING INVISIBLE BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT TO FACE HIS DAD AIGHSJDKA…

HIS INVISIBLE POWERS ARE LITERALLY THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THING IN THE WORLD

HE THINKS MILES KILLED HIS UNCLE FUCKKKKKKKK

THEM NAMING ALL THE PEOPLE WHO THEY WATCHED DIE. AUDJFJCJSKAF…

IM LEGITIMATELY TEARIN UP GANG FUCK THIS MOVIEEEE

if you can't tell I love it

“Miles, the hardest thing about this job is… you can't always save everybody.” SAID BY A LITTLE CARTOON PIG VOICED BY JOHN MULANEY. 

ALL OF THEM CRAMMED ON THE CEILING OF MILES DORM HOLY SHIT 

Noir is really funny to look at in the light

I don't think noir is in the second one which is 😭

The relationship between Miles and his Dad is literally going to make me cry

THE LIGHTNING CRACKLING IN HIS EYES AND THEN HIM BURSTING THROUGH THE WEBS AND THE PATTERN ON HIS SKIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Aunt May waiting for Miles in the basement!!!! 

HIS EYES LINING UP WITH THE SPIDERMAN SUIT WHEN THEY HADN'T BEFORE.

The what's up danger scene really is that fucking incredible. oh my god. I got chills.

He spray painted his suit and the spider is drippy!!! I'm literally about to go feral.

The hoodie and jacket and Nikes and shorts still over the suit. 

The WOOOOO as he goes up the place he fell before.

The incredible shot of him stationary mid-air that I think was the poster

This is literally the coolest movie ever

page break 4

HIS COMIC JOINING THE PILE.

THEM DRESSED AS WAITERS DJDJDJJAJAJC

PETER AND MJ…

DRAMATIC CUT TO NOIR HOLDING A PLATTER AND GWEN SO GODDAMN TIRED

MJ is so pretty in this art style btw. 

The Doc Ock tentacles creeping in through the ceiling right behind Peter…

MILESSSS

“I love you I'm so proud of you!” AUDHFJDJAJAJDK!!!!

MILES MAKING PETER RE-EVALUATE IF HE WANTS KIDS…

NEW YORK BREAKING APART

Noirs fight is SO COOL. Putting the hat on the guy and then punching him in the face.

sorry I love film noir as an aesthetic and spider noir is so cool

PENI V SCORPION 

THE FUCKING ANVIL. 

FUCK THEM UP HAM!!!!!

PENI HITTING THE GUY WITH A ROBOT ARM AND IT BRIEFLY FLICKERING TO HER ART STYLE!!!!

PENI’S ROBOT FRIEND D:

DOC OCK GETTING HIT BY A DAMN TRUCK

obsessed with Peni and Noir's friendship.

NOIR SAID HE LOVES THEM

HE TOOK THE RUBIX CUBE

EVERYTHING FLICKERING BLACK/WHITE WHEN NOIR ENTERS

HAM SAYING “THATS ALL FOLKS” AND PETER ASKING IF HE WAS LEGALLY ALLOWED TO SAY THAT 😭

GWEN AND MILES FRIENDSSSS

MILES HOLDING ONTO PETER'S SUIT AND DROPPING HIM IN. 

“It's a leap of faith.” FUCK YOU

“Not bad, kid.” FUCK YOU 

Miles taking kingskins gun and saying “that's cheating” 😭

VANESSA AND RICHARD LEAVING THE SAME WAY THEY DID IN THE FLASHBACK BECAUSE KINGSKIN WAS DOING THE SAME DAMN THING. FUCK ME DUDE.

MILES DAD IS WATCHING

THE ENTIRE FUCKING BRIDGE. 

This is the coolest fight scene ever btw

HE ELETROCUTED KINGSKIN WITH THE FUCKING SHOULDER TOUCH

the fact that the interconnected universes look like a spider's web. fuck dude.

HAMS ANVIL

THE BUILDING FUCKING EXPLODED. IS MILES’ DAD OK!!!

IS HE FUCKING OKAY!!!

OK THANK GOD HE'S ALIVE

HIS DAD OFFERING TO PUT UP SOME OF HIS ART AT THE POLICE STATION

C-MOBILE 😭

THE HUG!!!!!!!

page break 5

IM FULLY CRYIN BTW.

KINGSKIN HELD UP BY THE WEB. “FROM YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDERMAN.”

THE UNCLE AARON ART. FUCKING HELL DUDE.

Omg miles finally has friends

PENI'S ROBOT FRIEND!!!

NOIR SOLVED THE CUBE!!!! I proud of him

PETER GOING TO SEE MJ WITH FLOWERS…

GWEN CALLING OUT TO MILES ACROSS DIMENSIONS!!!!

THE SPRAY PAINT SPIDER

the credits are fucking INCREDIBLE

the different art styles I'm going to scream

NOIR SHOWING OFF THE CUBE. 

Did that just say Nicholas Cage.

Who the fuck is voiced by Nick Cage.

NOIR?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOIR HOLD THE FUCK ON.

N O I R?!?!

Incredible movie.

“That person who helps others simple because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero. -Stan Lee” FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW DUDE

Literally crying again over that.

Ok yeah that was a really good movie. I'm gonna start the second one in a bit. I think I need some recovery time 😭

Wait I skipped to the end to see if there was an after credits scene and. Ok obsessed with Spidey-Bells. 😭😭😭

MIGUELLLLLL I KNOW THIS GUYYYYYYY 

THE SPIDERMAN SCENE. THE POINTING SCENE.

IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

INCREDIBLE AFTER CREDITS SCENE.

end of liveblog! as you can see I really fucking liked it akjdfskajf I had to put the pagebreaks in otherwise tumblr got mad about like. 4096 characters per text block limit? ok wild. it provides checkpoints which I think is nice. onto the second movie.

[brawltogethernow]

Scissors and heart for the fic ask meme for the one where J Jonah Jameson Goes Off about mutant rights

^^

drop the title of a fic i wrote + a symbol in my ask and i’ll tell you…

✄: something i deleted before the final draft

I am SO dedicated to mulching and reusing absolutely everything I possibly can from my first drafts I wasn't sure I had anything for this, but I did cut like 25 words and I will now write 500 about why. I cut an extension of the joke where Betty's asked why she's happy their boss is screaming with rage because Jonah would have to kick the assholes out offscreen for it to work, and they'd skip straight to article planning without a confrontation. Like:

“…Why is that a good thing, Miss Brant.” Betty smiled up at him so her eyes squinched. “He isn’t mad at us!” "WHERE ARE MY CRACK TEAM OF PROFESSIONALS?" Betty beamed. "See?"

That's much weaker scene arrangement obviously so I wasn't able to work the whole of the planned gag in.

Also culled in favor of the bit where Jonah remixes his memetic line and demands PICTURES! PICTURES OF X-MEN! was a variant that goes like "PARKER / Yessir / GET ME YOUR BEST MUTANT PHOTOS / Yessir- What, sir?" which is kind of Vimesian in a way I enjoy, but the core point of "it's weird to hear Jonah demanding a different thing in this specific way" isn't really clear unless you do the full iconic line, which is too long to have a yes sir-what sir joke around it. Like it has to be something short enough you can zone out through it and then replay it in your head an instant later, and the PICTURES line has a big pause in the middle. ...You can put the first yes sir in the pause, but then the whole thing still has to go early enough that it's plausible to have not guessed what Jonah is going to ask for.... So instead it got a lampshade where the Bugle staff get to lean on the fourth wall slightly harder.

There's also a bit, assassinated for being too implausible, where someone asks Peter "Isn't that Cyclops' name?" when he's texting contact name Scotty Boy and he goes "NO." I hate him.

Also not making it out of the starter notes was I'm pretty sure the first words I jotted down when I got the ask - I thought the snip at the end where MJ makes fun of Peter might be like, a more ongoing montage of post-publishing reactions? So on autopilot I hypothesized a fragment of spideytorch banter wherein Peter shows Johnny the article, Johnny goes "What is this?" and Peter says "It's a newspaper. They're very useful once you learn how to read." And then Johnny throws the paper at his face. This was written because it's closer to my wheelhouse than the actual premise and deleted because it contributes absolutely nothing. There is no reason for more people that many degrees of separation away from the core concept of the prompt to be there.

Generally if I have come up with a tangent with any redeeming value that isn't actively contradicted by something more important I will add it in, but this fic came with a point it actually mattered to lose track of, which directly contributed to it being, in my opinion, noticeably higher quality than my average output - less meandering and simultaneously longer. A lot of the writing process on the Jonah fic was me going "can I stop now?", mentally substituting in some real world minority in place of mutants, and then if the result made me want to go lean over the washing machine and slam the door repeatedly on my own head, that meant it wasn't done. Who Knew Being Forced (at prompt point) To Stand For Something Improves Your Work.

♡: my favorite part

I think I nailed keeping the pacing up by cutting between interconnected scenes, if that counts. I really like how the flow of the first bit reads, and it was really satisfying to put together. It was also just a lot of fun to juggle a modern-flavored conflict and my preferred vintage comic aesthetic and cast, and to sneak in a bunch of continuity nods and cameos and tidbits of concepts. I just had a blast writing and publishing the whole thing, honestly. It was a great ask, and I'm really glad people like it.

The fic.

[goldenpinof]

hi kate beanie thank uu for your lovely reply about dnpg's editing from a lil while ago, i'm sorry it took me so long to reply <33 ;o; you've really hit the nail on the head for me with the gen z fast editing and excessive cuts mid-thought, and watching the bubble tea viddy and only a minute in, it's become so apparent that it was the change that bothers me the most ;;; you've helped realise that what i was missing was the pauses and quiet in the old videos, it helped make them so soothing and comforting in a way that feels like i'm just breathing with them. and now that the editors haven taken it away in exchange for quick memes, it's really taken that comfort away and left me wondering why i didn't feel the same comfy joy by the end of the new videos anymore, while instead feeling like i had just consumed another social media content, rather than dnp,, ;_;

hiii :) firstly, thank you so much for writing all of this, and in such a nice tone! i get what you mean, 100%. your conclusion about "time spent to just be" and "time spent to consume" is so good! when i read it yesterday my brain froze for a second with the realisation that you probably worded it perfectly. i would never come to this myself (the consumption part). maybe because i don't perceive youtube content as something i consume. it's never fast for me, since i watch long video essays. but if you compare dnpg's editing to how i scroll through instagram, then yes! there are similarities in pace.

now. about the bubble tea video. yesterday Char @simplydnp said that the pacing of it was better than usual. and after watching it, i have to agree? it is a little bit better, there's definitely some room to breathe. but it still has jumpcuts in the middle of the sentences. for example, at 3:34. either i'm dumb af or we don't hear what Phil says, we only see Dan's edited reaction. and i doubt it was a reaction to Phil saying "it really pleases me". there's a missing shot there (and it's not the only rough jumpcut, i just wanted to show an example). but overall, the editing is chiller than SuperSeizer's usual. which is great, more of that please.

dnpg's pre-hiatus videos are soo slow. no extra cuts or whatsoever. i opened Clickbait not that long ago, and damnnnn the difference is so noticeable, i cried.

[aprillikesthings]

s2 ep2 Ties that Bind

eheheheh

ahem

Took me way too long to realize this was a pun on "drill" as in an object Entrapta would use to make things (I think it's a carryover from the original 1980's series, I could be wrong)

plot

Oh god Entrapta lived in the Crypto Castle. This is long-ago enough that "crypto" didn't mean bitcoin.

Glimmer: we're going to go get Entrapta by ourselves.

whyyyy

Plot shit: Mara destroyed the Watchtower and that's why Light Hope is constantly glitching, and nobody stops to think Mara might've had a good reason, but also

I spent the mid/late 90's mildly obsessed with music from the 1960's, okay, and yes I know this is the cover of a Bob Dylan song, but it's also one of Jimi's best songs

I read somewhere that all the times this character's voice repeats or gets distorted weren't added effects, the voice actor Can Just Do That.

sorry just laughing at Catra being undignified and scratching her butt

ANGY KITTY

another one for the "never pause shera" sub

wait one more

more angy kitty (and more cartoon bondage, per the episode title)

yes this is a funny bit but also I love that they're showing farmland.

One of my continual gripes with the entire fantasy genre is how often they don't show anyone farming. Especially in pseudo-medieval fantasy worlds, the vast majority of the population would be spending their lives as farmers, but also PEOPLE HAVE TO EAT. Where is the farmland. Where. Where is it.

(I loved the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies but it always bugged me that the ONLY farmland we EVER saw was in the fucking Shire. What is everyone else EATING.)

EDIT: later in the episode it's implied this is just dead grass they bring back to life??? to me it looks like a field of mature grain! Meh.

no she's just gay

I'm not going to take screenshots (bc they're on screen for like a split second each) but the images of multiple characters as horses that Swift Wind is imagining are SO GOD DAMNED FUNNY

ew, Catra!

Meanwhile Bow and Glimmer debate the ethics of keeping a hostage. As multiple posts back in the day point out, literally every main character in this show commits war crimes lol

why are you sniffing your foot

H E L P i cannot stop laughing she's just :}

this whole scene is such a huge part of why so many of us headcanon her as a huge brat lolol

THEY DID A MEME AGAIN AHAHAHAH

this is what happens when a tv show is made entirely by people in their 20's

fangie

do we headcanon her tongue as being as rough as an actual cat's or closer to a human's? I tend to assume somewhere in the middle.

For Reasons.

pfft

AAAHAHAHAH she's like :>

I love how Catra is totally just yanking their chains but the moment Glimmer mentions Adora, Catra goes back to Angy Kitty: "yeah??? she'll leave you, too!" like oh, is Adora a sensitive subect? hm?

Poor Scorpia's infatuation with Catra is hard to watch bc I know it's so one-sided :(

One of my friends ships these two a LOT and let's be honest, I can see it

(Also as many people including Nate have pointed out, they're actually really similar as people; their differences are almost entirely due to their upbringings.)

now kISS

unintentional pun alert

plot plot Adora is convinced she has to be "a better She-Ra than Mara so I don't hurt people like she did."

Awww there's a great little moment between Adora and Swift Wind. Adora apologizes for making Swift Wind, uh, sentient I guess; and Swift Wind says "Adora, I wouldn't trade my voice and my wings for anything. I've got the chance to change the world now. To make it better than when I found it. I can't imagine ever going back, can you?"

they fix the Watchtower, Glimmer and Bow make it back to Bright Moon with the knowledge Entrapta is alive and working for the Horde, episode is over

[mumza03]

Notes on Connected. (may 1st, 2023)

sooooo I broke down the newest video for generation loss scene by scene. So this is your final warning for spoilers!!

starts with connecting with three dots going back and forth doing the loading screen thingy. theres a static background

next it says welcome on a black background.

next thing on screen looks a bit like a wormhole, it looks a bit like a scene out of doctor who. theres messages on the screen, says "look into infinity" "you are now worthy" "one of many" it repeats like four times then changes to "one of millions" "one to another" "one to yours" "one to another"

another change still with the worm hole thingy it has what looks like is a title screen reading "Generation One: The Social Experiments" this is something small but I find it interesting that the experiment has an S at the end kinda implying that there have been many of them or there are many going on at the same time.

next it goes to a solid red screen with "GEN 1" in the top left corner.

then it shifts to posters tapped to a wall, from the left most poster to right most it reads "DO NOT WATCH" top has the design for show fall crossed out with an x "lies" underneath middle one says "it has all changed, it has changed everything, it will change everything, I will stop it, DO NOT WATCH" bottom "IT ISNT FOR US" the is is underlined twice and the right one says "IT ISNT A SHOW"

very quickly it shows a man in a suit standing like the "had to do it to them" meme with a white box over his face. Someone pointed out that there might be a show fall pin on his lapel. so this dude it probably someone important in showfall

when it cuts back to the posters except all the posters are covered in missing posters. its hard to see the face of the person, but it could be gl!ranboo because it looks like their shoulder (idk i might be reaching but like it also makes sence for this to be them) in the top corners I think there are also show fall logos. the missing person number to call is 484-749-3255 but! I already called and recored it so I have what is said written down "(mans voice) hello, thank you for calling showfall missing person hot line we appreciate your call, but you are not able to help us. please hang up immediately. *beep* **pause** (lady voice) your voicemail has been sent, goodbye." theres tape connecting the missing posters and it looks like the genloss logo abit

cut to a poster with the showfall logo on it at the top and bottom it says "05 03 23" so May 3, 2023

next thing is the showfall logo with showfall media at the bottom and a man saying "we are happy to welcome you to the showfall media family, please join us for our special keynote on May 3rd at your time." and at the end very quietly he says "there is something going on here"

and that is where the video ends! but in the description there is a link to a website, and the word "Welcome."

I dont remember who but someone pointed out how the showfall logo is making dots appear because of an optical illusion. but yeah! thats a break down of the connected. video. so yeah heres my breakdown of the video i think i may try and do these when possible.

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello! I was wondering (totally okay if not) if I could request a quackity x reader where there playing minwcraft or smth with a few other people and its just like moments of them annoying eachother (as a way of love if that makes sense)

Thank you 💜💜

AH YES OF COURSEEE!! ; did my best w this one, had to quote a lot of vines for this bc I'm not naturally funny and it made sense in a way

QUACKITY ; vinecraft

summary ; annoying each other while playing minecraft with some friends

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 711

masterlist

You and Alex were playing on a Minecraft survival world with Bad and Niki. It wasn't a role-play SMP or anything, just a simple survival world with the Better Minecraft mod.

"Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

y/u/n was shot by a skeleton

"Y/n did you just willingly give yourself up to those skeletons?" Quackity laughs

"in my defense, they all have chainmail and gold armour, and I have an unbreaking one iron sword and a dream"

"Language! Stop talking about that!" Bad yells

"Yeah, stop talking about pussies, Quackity!"

"Y/n!" Bad and Quackity both exclaim in different tones while Niki laughs

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FORRRR?" Quackity yells, referring to the Vine as he almost breaks his voice a bit

"I'm waiting for those creepers to kill you," you answer, clicking your mouse to swing your hand as to point behind his character

"OH MY GOD NO-"

quackity was exploded by a creeper

"MY SHIT! Y/N, NIKI, GET IT PLEASE, I HAD AN AWESOME DIAMOND HELMET"

"It's Wednesday my dudes-"

"Shut the fuck up I'm fighting a warden, I can't do this right now, Alex!"

"I wanted to be a cowboyyyy baybyyyy" quackity speaks with a shit southern accent

"please stop fucking quoting that" you snicker, "I'm on the edge of this fuckin thing, if I fall I'll die and lose the teleporting thing and your shit"

"No off topic questions. because I don't want to. no. no. you've been stopped"

"PLEASE, I JUST WANNA MAKE THE PENIS, STOP DESTROYING IT Y/N/N"

quackity keeps trying to shoot you off the ledge of the mountain where you were trying to build the base on the side of

"I said whoever keeps shooting me, your moms a hoe!"

"language!"

"you're a hoe, motherfucker!"

"quackity, watch out!"

quackity was exploded by a creeper

"AGAIN!?"

yknow that vine of that kid playing simple piano notes and the other kid getting down to it? that's like the halftime show of the stream

quackitys playing guitar and you're busting it down in game next to niki who can't stop laughing, and bad is totally silent because of all the foul language

I mean the song slapped

then quackity got absolutely sniped by a skeleton while he was on two hearts

"What the fuck is up Kyle? no, what did you say? what the fuck, dude? step the fuck up kyle!"

quackity gets all up close with the mic to literally inhale it, "y/n i love you but my names not Kyle"

"WHATRE THOSE???"

"They are my crocs."

"Actually why do you own crocs? red flag, we're breaking up and I'm dating niki now"

"You move on quickly" quackity mumbles and rolls his eyes

nicki smiles before speaking, "because I'm better than you, quackity"

"Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does"

"Y/n you've spent 85% of this stream quoting Vines"

"Yeah I know, it's because I hate you"

"Wait what?"

when quackity brings up how he lived in the southern hemisphere and talks about living in Mexico, he pauses to breathe and you take the opportunity while you have it

"country boy I love youuuuuuuu. ah"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"BAHAHHAH"

"I can't be here anymore"

we've all seen the "Hey ron" "Hey billy" meme I think

you'll break into the base through the ceiling to get back in because you're working on a tunnel trailing through the inside of the cliff up to the top as the entrance

"Hey quackity" you say as you land next to quackity trying to sort through chests

"Hey y/n"

you scream as quackity sits down with some pizza in the middle of stream

he screams, "stop, you almost made me drop my pizza!"

yk that meme w the kid w the broomstick doing some anime pose battle shit? here's that one

you'll be swinging your sword around and spamming emotes "don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime on my side! AHHHH"

"who gave you the right to speak? You're on trial for breaking Bad's space bar!" Quackity exclaims

"I got it working again!!"

"let's do the fork in the garbage disposal!"

cue spamming emotes and lagging your games til they crash 💀💀💀

"love yourself! accept yourself!"

you became a positivity priest while quackity became a drug dealer

really splitting this world into two sides now LMFAO

[bornforastorm]

If you're still doing that fic ask meme, I wanted to ask for Perspective Flip for the scene in Crabapple Crabs where BJ gives Hawkeye the ultimatum, so we can see it from Hawkeye's point of view, and/or The Million Dollar Question for Hawk and Trap that night after BJ goes to bed - do they talk for a while, does Hawk tell BJ right away or wait til the next morning, etc.

yes of course!!

sorry for the delay, this took forever because writing takes me forever:

Perspective Flip (ps I'm not sure this is exactly how I would have written this if the entire fic had been from Hawkeye's perspective, but for the purposes of this exercise, here it is!):

“Do you have a bag?” Hawkeye asks, giddy with the unreality of BJ's presence. That he showed up on the doorstep like a gift in the middle of the night adds to that feeling. It's left him off-kilter. It's been imperfect so far, sure, and okay, BJ is weird about Trapper. That's not totally unexpected. But Hawkeye knows it'll settle down, BJ will settle down. BJ never understood how things were with Trapper-- but then again, Hawkeye knows he never really tried to explain it. Besides, it was different over there. Everything was different over there. Here it's easier, and once BJ wraps his head around Trapper it'll be easier with him too. He just needs time. They'll like each other, given the time. Hawkeye is sure. “You are staying, aren’t you? There’s room. You have to stay." He pauses, floundering. BJ is floundering a little too, by the look of him. "Besides, there isn’t a hotel in town.”

Trapper smiles from the doorway. By now, the idea of a hotel in Crabapple Cove is a joke to him. BJ looks between the two of them, blinks, and then nods.

Hawkeye glances at Trapper and Trapper takes the cue, because of course he does. The synchronicity they'd found in Korea fell back into place here in Maine almost immediately. They just know each other. They're just in alignment. It makes Hawkeye smile as he watches Trapper go out of the room and out the front door.

BJ is standing awkwardly by the corner of the table. Hawkeye puts a hand on BJ’s arm and smiles. He starts them walking out to what he considers the foyer, though it's barely more two feet between the front door and the stairs. They'll meet Trapper when he comes back in and all go up together.

It's wonderful to have BJ's arm under his hand again. It's familiar, warm and strong in a way that's different from Trapper's familiarity, warmth and strength. It's BJ, and he's missed him. Hawkeye really has missed him. “I really am so glad you’re here, Beej.”

BJ swallows so hard Hawkeye can see his throat working. “I really thought…" He pauses, changes direction. His voice gets firmer. "I missed you. I had to see you.”

For all BJ's grumpiness about Trapper, Hawkeye knows it comes from a good place. BJ cares. That's never been in doubt. “I appreciate that, BJ.”

“I care about you.”

“I know you do.”

“I want to say it.” Hawkeye watches BJ's throat work again. His hands clench and loosen. Oh boy, Hawkeye thinks. Here comes something big. And he's right. BJ says, “I love you, Hawk, I do, and being all the way across the country just wasn’t going to cut it anymore.”

It's not what he expected.

Of course he knew BJ loved him but... not the way that he seems to be saying now. With that desperate look in his eyes, he looks like he means—

Hawkeye starts, “BJ, I…” But trails off. He isn't quite sure what to make of this. It's a lot. It's a lot on top of a whole evening of lots. It's a little mind-numbing to think BJ's saying what Hawkeye is starting to think he's saying. So he asks: “BJ, what are you saying here?”

BJ brings himself to his full height, puffing up his chest. Hawkeye recognizes it as BJ steeling himself, and it would be charming if Hawkeye didn't feel like BJ was simultaneously pushing him to the edge of a precipice and threatening to throw him over. “I’m saying… I came all this way because I want to be with you. I want that.”

For a second, Hawkeye's head swims and he thinks he might pass out. BJ is looking at him with complete sincerity, telling him something Hawkeye was sure BJ would never, ever tell him.

And what are they supposed to do about it?

“What about Mill Valley?” Hawkeye hears himself ask, not entirely sure what he means. Does BJ want to come to Maine and be with him here? Like Trapper did? Or does he want Hawk to go to him, to California, to his home and daughter and— jesus christ, to his wife? What in god's name does Peg think about all this?

BJ is charging forward, grinning and manic. “We’ll make it work. I know we can make it work. You’ll come to California and—“

Hawkeye takes a step back. “BJ—“

“I’d take care of you. I love you, I do, I mean it, I’ve been thinking a lot about it, about us, and— Hawk, I don’t want you all the way across the country. I want you with me and he can’t—“

All Hawkeye can do is stare at him. It sounds insane, like BJ has lost his mind. This isn't a BJ he recognizes. What he's asking for, what he's suggesting—

Four months ago, back in Korea, Hawkeye had been sure BJ wasn’t capable of expressing emotions like this. He was too tied up in his idea of himself, of his life, and Hawkeye had accepted that. But now he’s here, saying all sorts of things Hawkeye might’ve wanted four months ago. A promise of a domestic life, a loved life, a home life— which is something he has now, with Trapper. In his home town with his dad just down the street. Imperfect, but warm and loving and comfortable. It's home. It's his home.

And BJ wants him to give it all up? If BJ wants him to give up Trapper, Hawkeye can almost wrap his head around that. He doesn't like it, but he almost gets it. But the rest he can't grasp. To give up his dad? His home?

It's shocking. Horrible. Unbelievable.

What's he supposed to say? In the face of BJ's desperate sincerity, what's he supposed to say?

The silence between them drags on too long. BJ's hopeful grin starts to fade.

Shakily, Hawkeye says, “You want me to choose, is that it? Between him and you?" BJ's mustache trembles. He's not denying it. Hawkeye's shock starts to congeal into anger. "You want me to throw him over, and my life here, my dad, and run away with you? That’s really what you want?”

Said like that, it sounds bad. Because it is bad, Hawkeye thinks. Hawkeye folds his arms over his chest. It's bad, plain and simple. It hurts to say it out loud and even put it in the air. It's bad and it's what BJ's asking of him.

BJ's mouth drops into a frown, like the abject fact of what he wants hadn't hit him before.

Hawkeye waits, hoping BJ will say, no, no that isn't what I meant at all, but—

“Yeah,” BJ admits sadly. “I guess I do.”

Hawkeye feels a part of himself slam shut.

“So it’s you or him?”

“I guess.”

“And that’s it?”

“Yeah.”

Hawkeye stares at him, face totally blank. He has no idea what to say next.

Right when the tension becomes unbearable, the front door slams open and Trapper comes bounding in, carrying BJ's weekend bag.

Million Dollar Question:

They talk for a while, absolutely. The moment they're behind closed doors Trapper is like, that guy is a real card, obviously something happened while I was outside. Hawkeye demurs, oh no, everything's fine, don't worry it, it's fine, it's fine. But Trap can tell it's not fine, and keeps pressing and pretty quickly Hawkeye spills and they talk it through until Hawkeye's too tired to want to keep talking, and then they pick it up in the morning. By which time Hawkeye has decided there's no way BJ really means it and that the best thing to do would be to keep trying with him. Meanwhile Trapper has stewed on it and has decided maybe he should punch BJ in the face.