#i had to make a lil moodboard for it
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Tarnished but so grand
Clexa || modern au
Chapter 37
Two big firsts for Lexa with Valentine's Day this year: firstly, it's the first Valentine's Day she is excited for because she and Clarke are going out, and secondly, it's her and Michael's first Valentine's Day as a married couple. Clarke has the entire day planned out for the two of them, and she is determined to make it a special one. Michael also has a date planned, but it's less special and took a lot less effort than what Clarke planned for Lexa. Clarke and Lexa have a little talk of the future as well, and most of this chapter is Clexa's date.
read here || fic playlist || fic timeline
#t100#t100 au#t100 fic#clexa#clexa au#clexa fic#clarke x lexa#clarke griffin#commander lexa#fic#fanfic#au#tarnished chapter#personal#ITS VALENTINES DAY!!!!#don't they look cute!!#i had to make a lil moodboard for it#and lol we got the sad ending hehe
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Inspiration Sunday | A.R.C.A.N.E.3
âYou okay?â Buck asked, turning his body and wincing at the pain of resting his head on his hand.
Eddie sighed, hiding his face in his own. âYeah, Iâm just⊠jumpy.â He sighed again. Buck frowned, reincorporating a little bit. âI keep thinking what couldâve happened to you out there.â
âEddie, Iâm fine,â he mumbled patiently. âIâm not defenseless, I know how to use our weapons.â
From across the room, Eddie scoffed, then cleared his throat. âItâs not about you being damn good with that machete, which I know you are,â he said, watching Buck nod in agreement. âItâs about the fact that you- itâs like you think this Camp could go on without you.â
Silence.
ââŠThat I could go on without you.â
Read on ao3
*à©â©â§âËàŒșâàŒ»*à©â©â§âË
tagged for 7ss & inspo saturday by @hoodie-buck @exhuastedpigeon @disasterbuckdiaz @smilingbuckley @wikiangela @diazsdimples @tizniz @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley & @daffi-990 thank you my loves! Iâll get to your works asapđ§đŒââïž
tagging in return @lover-of-mine @wildlife4life @hippolotamus @spagheddiediaz @malewifediaz @puppyboybuckley @bigfootsmom @911-on-abc @eowon @jesuisici33 @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @honestlyeddie @fortheloveofbuddie @kitteneddiediaz @eddiebabygirldiaz @eddie---diaz @bucksbackwardcap @loserdiaz @buckleyobsessed @tsunamibuckley @bucksbirthmark @singlethread @cal-daisies-and-briars @butraura @fionaswhvre @thewolvesof1998 @nmcggg @giddyupbuck @devirnis @spotsandsocks @urfactual & @eddiiediaz
#Iâve been so absent this week bc I literally lost all my writing beans#thankfully now im getting them back lmao so#I decided to do a lil mashup of the weekend tag games#and make this cute lil moodboard Iâve had in my head for a while#plus a snippet from an already posted chapter#also this is how I imagine arcane to be#buddie#911 fox#911#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 tv show#evan buck buckley#buck x eddie#buck and eddie#911 abc#911 on abc#buddie fic#buddie fanfic#buddie fanfiction
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Mutual left this tag on one of my Fuuta analyses and yeah...
Part two of "Fuutaâs central theme is invasion of privacy and he has extreme anxiety over being watched, so it's interesting that we get to pick him apart and see all his worst, most private thoughts" :(
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#i didnt want to be annoying with a tag but thank you trinipopkt for the original tag :3#ive never posted something like this so let me know if i need to tag anything#my writing brain may be struggling rn but you can bet im still over here drawing fuuta đ
đ#part one was the lil moodboard on main#this also had slight oc connections (my brain was going brrr having a scientist oc) but once again its general to the audience overall#plus i was really proud of the composition/posing/colors i switched to -- i was excited to share!!#it took me like 80 years to pick a composition/pose that worked asdfsadsg#and i had to redo all my coloring and shading because i wanted a more neutral sterile science look than what i originally had#anyway it wasnt my usual type of drawing so it was a lot of fun to see it come together!#i did the first version and my partner said it was mean (and against procedure) to keep him awake#but then the second version felt equally mean :(((( so in conclusion rip fuuta#he is my little bug and i am going to figure out what makes him tick
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đ©ž Sucking your blood until your heart stops beating đ©ž
#happy halloween!!!#i of course had to make one of these with a vampire theme bc i'm me#and who else more perfect than lil bat boi#vampire rockstar!michael if u will#mgcđ€#moodboard!sos#a. moodboards#halloween!sos#op#halloween#vamp tag
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â Can you build my house with pieces? / I'm just a chemical.
saw a few mutuals making moodboards of their ships so whipped up a new one for gustave and I !! I used to make boards all the time, I forgot how much I loved making these :)
#x. etc#đđïž#this is just one of many ideas i had </333 totally could make more but my brain is being mean again tonight#peak 2016-2019 me was making moodboards for everything. sigh. i should be more whimsical again#still chipping away at my painting of us so this could be a cute lil companion piece :)
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will never post or reblog anything where the performers I obsess over are elderly/visibly "older" or have some horrendous hairstyle going on. they must always be of the right age and appearance to play their character, or younger. few understand this
#this is an insane thing to say but it's true!!!#I am also vigilant in the avoidance of mustaches#anyway the 70s and 80s were absolutely brutal on so many of the Hot People of the 40s/50s/60s#will never forgive some of the hair choices on these still young and hot people.#we will never recover from the devastation of what could have been if such choices had not been made#(grateful that some at least waited for the LATE 70s or early 80s to have a horrendous hairstyle I suppose)#I hate it when someone does a moodboard/multiple pics post for a person and then I can't reblog it because of a pic like that#please ignore me I'm a lil loopy in the head. I'm having antidepressant withdrawals I can say what I want!#my original post#(no I am not referring to any Current Stars who could age or make horrendous hair choices in real time lol. THAT would be weird of me)
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Hiii! I was wondering if I could request either long or short fic about Tenya Iida. Likes it can be set in a modern setting where's he's a senior college student who's majoring in business and he has to take one more class to get his degree. It just so happened that the class is in the art building, and it is figure drawing (aka nude drawing) . Since he's just now hearing of the extra class he has to take, he's suddenly shocked when the model is an old friend of his from back home, whom he had a childhood crush on. Not only does his feelings for her come back, but he also has to have 1 on 1 section with the model for educational purposes. I kinda want it to be smut and fluff or however you see it fit. Anyway, I hope it's enough+
hi babe! omg I love this idea I kinda went a lil crazy and made it way too long. I hope u enjoy :)!!
đżđ§đđŹđŁ đđ€đđđ©đđđ§
word count: 3.5k
mentions of: This is really just the fluff portion of it, kinda suggestive bc he pops a boner and leads to sex in part two. I think Iâm going to make a third part simply so the two of you can go on a genuine date andsotheresmoreiidaxblackreaderouthere.
a/n: hells yeah thatâs enough, hopefully I did what ya asked and so sorry I went overboard I have serious problems. hereâs the smut part bc a 6.7k fic is doing too damn much but i canât stfu my fault gang
moodboard here!
Tenya Iida.
4th year, Senior in college majoring in International Business and minoring in Spanish at Angelwood College of Arts and Sciences.
The visual arts building had only been a few minutes away from the business side of campus, which he gladly enjoyed the walk. This spring all he needed to finish was two gen ed classes, the rest revolved around his major and minor. His counselor helped set up his âmissingâ classes before winter break considering he had to fly back to Japan to see his family for the holidays. He was ecstatic to learn all he needed was an art class with lab and a communications class.Â
When he asked what the class entailed, all he was met with was âbeginner artists learning anatomy.â It didnât sound difficult, just draw what you see. It would be nice to try something new anyway. He was not much of an artist but like all things Tenya does, he planned to give this class his all. The first week had been pretty easy, learning how to draw what you see with the use of models, shapes, and lines. Nothing too hard to follow. He would practice drawing his friends on the sketchpad he bought specifically for the class as a form of studying in the free time he had.
He neverminded it for the most part, excelling his knowledge in different countries in his free time to get better at his major. Sure they could teach you the technical way to do things, but in the end, everyone is still human. It would be inconsiderate to do business with a country and know little to nothing about their culture! It took almost two weeks for him to finally be able to even start the art project anyway.
As time went on and the January snow grew less and less, it was time to start their first real project of the semester. One on One figure drawing. The class needed to fill out a form explaining their free hours due to the limited art space and everyone's different schedules. Tenya happily filled it out when it was posted, continuing to work on class work from the library so that the lecture room could also be used for said project.
Their professor had explained that in-person class would remain on Mondays and Thursdays. It just worked out better for the models and students to have so much space.
He made the small walk over to the arts building for his last class of the day, a small shine in his glasses as he entered the white light of the room. The walls were anything but bare, artwork and unfinished projects sat in every corner of the room. Paint racks, canvases big and small, even stacks of unused clay. There was a stool sitting on a small platform in the middle of the room, assuming where the model will sit.Â
He stood next to the stool for a moment, looking up at the grey February sky through the skylight. The natural lighting was great, almost like a spotlight. He adjusted the lights in the room a moment, dimming them slightly so the white light hadnât been so harsh on his eyes. He headed over to a more organized table, setting out the art supplies how he liked. He knew he was early, but he wanted to make a good first impression. Whatâs better than being on time?
He pulled out his laptop, checking that the few assignments for today were done and submitted. A small frown tugged at his lips as he realized he hadnât finished something completely, typing in the last few answers. He always double checked, technology was reliable.. When it wanted to be. He couldnât hear the shuffle of slippers against the floor over his typing and frankly, loud thinking.Â
He could see someone walk past in a teal robe representing the university's colors. Glancing up from the computer to give the model a proper hello, Tenya opens his mouth to speak but pauses.Â
âY/n?â He asked, almost in a whisper in case he was wrong. A small look of confusion caused him to tilt his head to the side slightly. He hadnât been able to see you for awhile with such busy schedules, but he knew your silhouette by heart.Â
You turn at the sound of your name, mid sliding off the slippers and fumbling with the gold silk of the belt. âTenya?â You smile, asking as you turn to slide your shoes back on and quickly shuffle your way over to him. He felt his face burn red, frozen in place for a moment with his jaw slack. He stood as if needing to detach from the seat, smiling at your happy demeanor and your quickness to wrap your arms around him.Â
âIt is you! I know those shoulders from anywhere!â You beamed, feeling his hovering hands slowly place themselves on your back to return the hug. He was very hesitant, simply because you were only in a robe. You pull away, hands resting on your hips and giving him a big smile. âNow what are you doinâ taking a figure drawing class, Mister businessman?â
He let out a sheepish chuckle, âI needed an art credit, W-What are u doing here?â He never had any classes with you at Angelwood, A few honors classes and gym in highschool but other than that, nada. Throughout the course of growing up, your interests drove you to different classes.Â
However, classes don't matter when your families are as close as yours and the Iida family. Shared Holidays, playdates, game nights.. It wasnât like you were some stranger. You both always made time to hang out a few times during the year to catch up without the family just to give a real check on each other. It was his favorite, almost like a mini holiday to talk to you.
He loved spending time with you. You were smart, articulated and incredibly creative. You never took slack from anyone.. Even in middle school he can remember you being the one to stand up and say something when things werenât right. You were headstrong and determined in anything that you did.. Art majors always get a lot of grief but you never let that deter you. And that was admirable in itself! ..And he had always thought you were so pretty.Â
He felt like a kid again, heart feeling as if itâd beat out of his chest at the mere sight of you. It had been around Halloween the last time he saw you, and here it was. Almost Valentine's day.. Still as pretty and bright as he remembered. Your next hangout wasn't for another month or so, so it was nice to see you sooner than that.
âI'm your model, silly!â You head over to the stool, continuing to speak. âThe art department asked if Iâd help in modeling and I said yes! People were too scared to sign up for the most part. Iâm surprised this is the class you picked. Did you want to learn how to draw people?â You slide your slippers off once more, untying the cute bow on your hip that held your robe shut.Â
Suddenly the room was very hot and he couldn't breathe. Now his heart really WAS beating out of his chest. He quickly did a 180, shielding his eyes and removing his glasses for extra measure. âWHYâ do yoU have.. nothing on underrrrneath?â He croaked, voice cracking as his tone raised slightly.
You tilt your head at such a question, the gears clicking a little later than they should have. âFigure drawing is um.. Nude drawing, Tenya. You didn't know that?â You slide the robe back on, giggling at the flustered man across from you. You could see his shoulders tense, shaking his head slowly.
Now how the fuck could he have missed that.
âI um.. No, I didn't. I thought that it was.. I don't know what I thought. My counselor picked it for me and I.. Most models we've used so far have.. had skin colored undergarments⊠On.â He let out a nervous laugh, keeping his glasses off. He turns around, cleaning them with the end of his shirt but refusing to look up at you. He needed to mentally prepare his brain to be professional in a situation like this. Not that he minded the glance, he just never thought this would be how..
You prop your feet onto the edge of the stool, interrupting his thought. You held your knees up to your chest so he couldnât see anything but your bare legs. âOh Ten, Iâm sorry! I can ask someone else to-â
âNo! I am perfectly.. capable. It's professional and I can be.. professional..â He put his glasses back on, hand refusing to be steady as he did so. He let out a shaky sigh, smiling at you and finally looking at you once more.
You let out a small laugh at the blush on his cheeks. He was so handsome, but to see him so flustered over little olâ you? It made your week. âWe can start slow, that might help.â you slide the robe down your shoulders, slowly putting your legs back down so he could see your robed torso once more. You stopped at the top of your breasts, letting your collarbone show. âDo you have any specific poses..?â You ask quietly, trying to hold back your amusement.
He sits down, red faced and completely flushed. A nude model.. jeez. From sleepovers to recess, studying together to graduating, and now almost graduating for the final time together. That's something you donât get to have in every lifetime. But why do these thoughts keep coming back to him now?Â
There was no way he could still have romantic feelings for you. Heâd never put your friendship at risk like that!
..right?
âI um.. yeah, small.â He cleared his throat, âCould you um.. Could you stand slightly off of the um.. Almost like getting up?â He fumbled over his words, staring at the empty paper as if he could burn the quick image in his brain onto the page to get the embarrassment over with. He sighed once more, trying to focus as he began sketching circles and lines as a starter sketch of the pose he wanted.
âWhen you need to draw a certain part I'll move it, Sound fair?â You ask, resting one foot onto the stool and one onto the ground. Your hand gripped the seat as your butt sat on the edge, similar to when people do that supposedly hot thing where they throw their head back and pull some weird rope to have water get poured on them.Â
It was second nature at this point for people to see you. Of course some of them were flustered and it was pretty awkward at first, but normally not to the point of stuttering and stammering. It wasnât often that you saw Tenya fall apart, but this was way different. Especially considering you flashed him without warning. He was one of the most endearing people you had ever met, there was no way you would have done that without proper context.
He could only nod in response, not wanting to further make a fool of himself. Lightly tapping the pencil against the table, He looks up at you. âYou can um.. re.. remove the top part, y/n..â It was hard to simply draw your arms and collarbone without including the robe, so you might as well rip the band-aid off and start with the top.Â
You nod, dropping it happily and letting the robe pull around your hips and between your legs. You close your eyes, facing up toward the skylight in an attempt to make him less nervous. âSorry for flashing you at first, I would have explained but I assumed you had already known..?â You laugh quietly to yourself at your own mistake. Why would someone like him even take this class if he knew what it actually entailed?
And God, did he feel like a pervert staring at your chest like this. The boner poking his thigh almost immediately didn't help, making it even harder to concentrate. Way to keep composure. He pressed his lips together for a moment before speaking. âI had no idea, Iâm sorry for my r..reaction.â He answered, stopping the pencil tapping to actually begin sketching more than just circles and lines. He hadnât meant to yell, but he felt like he was close to passing out.Â
âI think it was a pretty valid one.â You send a reassuring smile his way, seeing him send you one right back. Trying to ease the mood, you look back up at the ceiling and close your eyes to avoid staring at the ugly overcast sky above you. âHow was winter break? You get to go home and see your family? How are they?âÂ
His smile grew wider at your question, scooting under the desk a bit more so that you hopefully wouldnât notice his body reacting. âTheyâre great, Tensei is getting married soon,â He sounded excited at the thought alone, incredibly proud of his brother.Â
âAnd my mother has started a hobby making soap, if you can believe it. She sent me some to bring back one that smells like lavender and another that smells like oranges mixed with I believe she said papaya.? She made a coconut smelling one for youâ I was going to give it to you the next time we saw each other,âÂ
The sound of his sketching stopped and started as he spoke, giving your body small glances as he tried to study each part of your upper torso. The way your stomach creased, The way your shoulder was slightly lifted causing your collarbone to be more prominent, the curve of your breasts.. âHow was your Holiday, y/n?â
âNo way, Tensei is getting married?!â You accidentally stop posing, fully facing him in genuine shock. The robe was still covering your lower half, you had tied the belt to avoid accidentally flashing him again but here we are. You watch his face become even more red, eyes very obviously not meeting yours but still like a deer in headlights.Â
You quickly get back to posing how you were, âSorry Ten, That's amazing!! I hope everything goes smoothly for him and his soon to be wife.. And tell your mommy I said thank you for thinking of me. I can't wait to try it!â
A smile stayed on your lips as you thought about the times youâve spent in the Iida household. His mother always had the best candles and incense burning, you were positive the soap would be the same. âMy family is up to the same old shit, you know them..â You let out a small groan, the holidays werenât an absolute disaster, but after not being home so long makes you remember why you arenât going to school anywhere near home.Â
âI did get some cool stuff for Christmas though! I got some new clothes and they got me a few art kits. You know, where it teaches you how to crochet? I also have a new diamond painting kit, I haven't opened either yet because it's just been so busy.â You replied, tapping your fingers on the side of the stool where your hand sat.Â
You look up once more, this time because the skylight was beginning to be covered in snow. You watched as it fell, thinking back to old times when you and Tenya would spend the last three major holidays with each other. Youâd always make sure to trick or treat together, your families have been sharing Thanksgiving for as long as you can remember, and spending the night in your basement on Christmas eve to wait for Santa until you were both too old. Then instead of waiting for Santa, youâd all eat at least one meal together on Christmas day. Sometimes homemade breakfast, other times a small trip to IHOP or Waffle House.
âGod damn it.. Itâs snowing again..â You let out a small laugh, looking over at him over your shoulder, fingers still tapping away at the base of the stool. âHey Ten, Do you remember when we used to have those big snowball fights? The one near Red Fern?âÂ
âOf course I do! You refused to wear any kind of gloves and my mother would make you at least put socks on your hands so you didnât get frostbite!â The two of you shared a small laugh at the memories of being young and dumb.
âGloves always made my hands too itchy! They still doâ But I kicked your ass in snowball fights with gloves or not.â You retort, a smirk appearing on your face. âIce queen y/n of everything.â You could remember the insane snowball fights the neighborhood kids would have every. time. It snowed. If there was enough to make a few snowballs, there was enough to start a war. Tenya was always on your team, but it never stopped you from throwing a few his way. The âwinnerâ was King or Queen of the hill and first to sled down, which often enough was you.
âRemember when you almost broke my glasses throwing one right at my face?â He snickered, watching your smirk turn into a small pouty frown. He knew you didnât mean to, that same day you helped your mom make cookies for him and his family as an apology, even though he wasnât upset to begin with. But you knew it could have broken his glasses and you would be devastated if you were the reason for it. You were a real sweetheart, even if you had a weird way of showing sometimes.
âHey! You know that wasnât on purpose, I felt really bad after! I even let you get me back!â Which was true, but he never aimed for your face. Always a spot on your fluffy coat, never your legs because you hated your pants being wet⊠and a face shot just felt wrong to him.Â
âYeah, Yeah. I remember that part too,â He smiled to himself. âThose were really good times.. I remember Tensei always bringing us hot chocolate and weâd sit on your porch and draw things in the snow..â
âOh! And when weâd come back all wet and mom already had spare clothes in her hands because she didnât want it on the carpet. Weâd put on too big clothes just to sit and watch Christmas movies..â You missed those times. But they never really had to stop, you two could have a huge snowball fight after this if you wanted to and the snow stuck. Was he too grown for that? Would it even sound fun to him?
âDo you still watch A Year Without Santa Clause every year?â He asks, breaking your train of thought. You nodded quickly at his question, grinning like a maniac. âOf course I do! And I watch Charlie Brownâs Christmas, Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer.. And sometimes Spongebob's Christmas Special. Do you still watch old Christmas cartoons?â
âWhy wouldnât I? Donât wanna ruin tradition.â He answered, pressing his lips together slightly as he stared down at the paper. You can tell he freezes a bit, the sound of his scribbling coming to a stop. He set the pencil down, rubbing the sweat of his hands onto his thighs.
 âYou can um.. remOove-..â He quickly cleared his throat, âThe rest.â He let out a disappointed sigh at his inability to keep composure. This wouldn't be half the problem it was if it was someone else modeling. But this is you we're talking about.Â
âYou sure? If you need a minute we can take a break, honey.â You gave him a sympathetic look, still smiling but this time more.. warm. The kind of smile someone gives to another when they genuinely care for them. Or love them for that matter. He adored it, it was the same smile you'd give him when saying he needs to take a break, the same smile you give him when the two of you out to get coffee and catch up. The same smile he's fallen for many, many times.Â
But to tell you the truth? Itâs driving him crazy. All of this. Was driving him crazy. No matter how hard he tried to be professional, he could stop his wandering mind. You were a goddess. What else was there to do besides take a break and hopefully release some steam in the bathroom or something. Completely inappropriate, but the pain from being hard for so long was starting to cloud the best judgment.Â
He looks down at the sketch so far, then back to you as he rubbed his hand upward against his face. It pushed his glasses up, causing them to be crooked when going back down. âI um.. I think I do.. need a minute.â His voice died out as he watched you slide the robe back on, words failing him because couldnât think completely straight.
© if you like what you see please reblog! It means a lot and helps me out. Want more? Heres my m.list! I write for x black reader so throw me some requests :P my other account are icons and x black reader moodboards if youâre interested!
thank you @thecutestgrotto for the banners and thank you @fizzintine for coloring the top pic!
have a good day/night/whatever!
#sugar gets ns!w!#bnha#mha smut#bnha x reader#bnha smut#mha x poc!reader#mha x black reader#mha x plus sized reader#bnha x black!reader#bnha x chubby reader#bnha x fem!reader#x black reader smut#x black plus size reader#x black reader#x black fem reader#x black y/n#tenya iida x reader#bnha tenya#tenya lida#tenya iida#tenya x black!reader#tenya x you#iida x black reader#iida x y/n#iida x reader#iida x you#mha tenya#tenya x reader#tenya fluff#tenya smut
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â
â PIT STOP
â
â pairing: trucker!abby x fem!gas station clerk
â
â your boring job brought old men, homeless people, and little kids maxing out their parents cards on candy. but when she came in, your stomach turned inside out. | fyi, i'm aware most trucks don't have backseats or anything đ, but let's imagine for the plot period
â
â warnings: southern!abby, strap-on sex, car sex, dirty talk
đ â moodboard by me :)
The hum of fluorescent lights overhead buzzed softly as you stood behind the counter, absentmindedly flipping through a magazine. The little gas station was quiet tonight, save for the occasional car rolling in to fill up. You didn't mind the solitude, though--it gave you the chance to enjoy the peaceful hum of the night.
But that peace shattered when the low rumble of a diesel engine filled the air.
You looked up just as a massive, dusty, semi-truck rolled into the parking lot. Its headlight cut through the darkness, and it came to a halt right in front of the store. Moments later, the driver's door creaked open, and down climbed a woman who seemed like she'd stepped right out of a trucker-themed romance novel.
She was tall, built like she spent half her life wrestling grizzly bears, and had a confidence in her swagger that could stop traffic. Blonde hair peeked out from under a well-worn baseball cap, and her Southern accent was thick as molasses when she spoke.
"Evenin''," she drawled, stepping through the glass door. Her blue eyes locked onto you immediately, a slow, crooked grin spreading across her face.
"Good evenin," you said, smiling politely, though you couldn't help the way your heart skipped a beat. She was... gorgeous, in a rugged, intimidating kind of way.
"Damn," she said, stopping in her tracks as she looked you over. Her eyes roamed shamelessly, lingering a second too long on the curve of your hips and the swell of your tits before flicking back up to your face. "Didn't think I'd be gettin' a view like this at sum' gas station inna middle of nowhere."
Your cheeks flushed immediately, and you stammered. "I--I think you're lookin' for the snacks. They're over there." You pointed toward the aisle, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your neck.
Abby chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that made your stomach flip. "Oh, darlin', I'm not lookin' for snacks. Especially when somethin' as sweet as you is in front of me."
You blinked, your lips parting slightly in surprise. Most of the truckers who rolled through were gruff and standoffish, more interested in their coffee than conversation. But this one? She was relentless.
"I, uh..." you trailed off, not sure how to respond.
Abby stepped closer, leaning an elbow on the counter. The scent of diesel fuel and a faint hint of cologne wafted off of her. "You're a pretty lil' thing, ma'am."
"Thank you," you said, almost too softly.
"It's no problem, honey. You got the kinda face that can make a girl forget she's been drivin' for sixteen hours straight," Abby said, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "And don't even get me started on that body of yours. Lord have mercy."
You couldn't help it--you laughed, a flustered, nervous sound. "Do you always flirt with gas station clerks, or am i just special?"
"Oh, you're special, all right," she said, her grin widening. "Reckon I'd remember a face like yours anywhere."
You shook your head, biting your lip to hide your smile. "What do you want, Abby?"
Her eyebrows rose in mock surprise. "What makes you think my name's Abby?"
"Your truck's got "Anderson's Logistics'' painted on the side, nd' your nametag has an 'Abby' patch in bold letters." You said, gesturing to the embroidery.
"Sharp, too. I like that," Abby said, straightening up. "But if you must know, I came in for a coffee. Black. And maybe your number, if you're feeling generous.
Your face grew hotter at her boldness. "Coffee's over there," you said, pointing to the back.
Abby chuckled again but did you said, sauntering over to the coffee machine with the same easy confidence. She poured herself a cup, took a long sip, and then returned to the counter.
"Not bad," she said, placing a couple crumpled bills on the counter. "But I think this place just became my new favorite spot. Couldn't imagine why."
You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. "Whatever, Abby."
"You wanna take a ride?" Abby asks you abruptly, gesturing to the door.
"In your truck?" You asked, a sly smile creeping on your face.
"Sure, that too."
----
"God, honey. Your body fits my lap perfectly, huh?" Abby teases, as you adjust yourself on her muscular thighs, the friction from your jean shorts making you eager.
"You do this every pit stop?" You ask, your hands placed on her shoulders to hold your balance.
"No ma'am. I told you, you're special, darlin'." She tells you, looking you deep into your eyes, hers a piercing blue. "But enough talkin'. I got sumthin' in my back seat, if you're down for that kinda thing."
And with that, you climb out of her lap and into the backseat, your cheetah print thong peeking out, following a smack to your ass from Abby.
She damn near tears your tanktop off, leaving your chest clad in your matching cheetah print bra, and the shoulder tattoo with words 'Angel' black and bold, close to your collarbone.
"Angel, huh?" Abby says, biting her lip.
You nod, tilting your head, giving her access to you neck. She starts to kiss it slowly, taking in your scent of woody vanilla, getting sweeter everytime she works her way up or down.
"You smell s'good, honey." Abby says, easily lifting you back onto her lap. Her hands fly to the back of your bra, unclasping it with ease.
"Fuck, Abby. You're s'strong." Her hands are on your hips, forcing you to grind on her lap, making your pussy wetter by the second.
"Lay back, honey."
----
Abby's kisses are tender, yet demanding. She kisses with so much passion, like you were the only girl she needed in her life. Who knew a pit stop would make her this crazy?
You're laying in her backseat, leg propped up over her shoulder, as she grips your thighs and sloppily eats you out.
"Pussy's sweeter than honey, darlin'." She says, her voice sending chills into your clit, the vibrations stimulating you more than she was alone.
"Mmm..--just like that, Abby, fuck." Your manicured hands scratch her scalp, the semi-neat braid coming undone in the process. Abby makes eye contact with you, gripping your thighs tighter.
It's almost as if Abby learns your body quickly, the way her tongue thrusts in and out of your pussy, leaving your legs quivering after every movement.
She stops, leaving you confused.
"Under the seat, that box. Grab it." You look around for a second, spotting a black box covered by a jean jacket under her seat. You move the jacket and open the box--revealing a seven-inch clear strap.
"It's new, I promise. Haven't gotten a chance to use it yet."
You look at the strap and back at Abby, who has a very convincing look on her face.
"Then, fuck me with it, Abby."
----
Abby secured the harness around her waist, trying to make sure not to hit her head on the roof of the truck in the process. It was veiny, girthy, and looked like it could absolutely ruin you.
She grabs your hips, letting you hover over her lap, watching you let your panties that originally were pooling at your ankles, fall to the truck's surprisingly clean floor.
"You wanna' ride this shit, honey?" She says, still holding your hips steady.
You nod your head up and down, and slowly sink onto her strap.
"Yeaaaah... sink on it, darlin'. Just like that." Her praises were making your head spin, and the way her strap felt so deep inside of you almost felt like it was attached to her.
Abby jerks up, letting the rest of her inches sink of inside you.
You grind against her, the pleasure almost bringing you to tears. Your rhythm steadies, the rocking of your hips sending Abby into orbit. The base of the strap is hitting her clit, causing her hands to grow tighter around your ass.
"Fuckin' me like you mean it, huh baby?" Her voice. Her accent. Her everything. You were so close, beginning to go from grinding to practically jumping on her dick, feeling your stomach start to heat up.
"Mmmph.., I'm--fuck, Abby.. close." That's all Abby needed to hear. She takes a firm grip on your hips, and roughly fucks her strap inside of you.
"Yeah, angel. Take this fuckin'.. dick," Abby starts, throwing her head back as the base of the strap hits her pussy just right.
"I'm--Abby.." You manage to moan out.
"All over me, honey. Fuckin' cum on my shit." She pounds into you, the both of you gushing, all over her lap.
"You truly are an angel, miss." Abby says, holding you close as you catch your breath.
You put your clothes back on, checking your phone's time. Twenty minutes. Not too bad.
"I really gotta get back on the clock." You say, giving Abby your phone to insert her number in.
"I understand, darlin', so do I. I had a great time." She smiles, fixing her tight white tee to put her jacket back on.
"I did too, Anderson." Abby leans in to kiss you, almost as if she could get used to doing this more often. You climb out of her truck and make way back into the gas station.
"Drive safe, Abby."
"Oh, don't you worry about bout' me, honey," she said, tipping her hat slightly as she started the engine. "I'll be back here soon enough. Just don't go breakin' hearts in the meantime, alright?"
"I'll call you after my shift, Anderson."
"Perfect."
And as the roar of her truck faded into the distance, you realized you were already looking forward to her next pit stop.
đ·ïž â @rosemariiaa, @d3arapril
#abby anderson#abby anderson smut#abby anderson tlou2#abby anderson x reader#abby the last of us#kennedyâs works âÂ·Ë àŒ *
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pairing â fem!nun!reader x sin of lust!seonghwa ft. ateez as the other sins
rating â smut | mdni
wc â 13.7k
synopsis â life is dull when you are an immortal being such as seonghwa. every day is the same and you live (or rather, merely exist) through the times crushed by the burden of boredom. until something new comes along in the form of a kind, compassionate and righteous newly ordained nun. and so the sin of lust makes it his personal mission to corrupt the purest of souls: yours.
nsfw tags under the cut
tags â *strap up babes this is a wild one*, a tad of plot, my attempt at humor, heavy religious/blasphemous themes (don't read if you're uncomfy <3), inclusive writing (reader is not physically described), also reader is the embodiment of purity, 20240127 hwa (moodboard here), kinda slow burn kinda vibes, so much tensionnn, mentions of a pxrn magazine, sooo much teasing, hot make out sesh, dom!hwa, also very sly demon!hwa, virgin!reader, supernatural sex, corruption kink (obviously), masturbation (f), oral (f), the (un)holy trinity =teasing, begging, mind breaking), thigh riding, nipple play, clit play, some light impact play (kitty slaps + 1 face slap), breath play, hair pulling, fingering (f), monster cock!hwa, size training, pet names (angel, love, darling, sweetheart), praising, degradation (slut, whore), unprotected sex (donât recommend), denied and ruined orgasm (f), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f), overstim, an ungodly amount of cum, cumflation, lil breeding kink at the very end
playlist â me and the devil by soap&skin, unholy by sam smith, going to hell by the pretty reckless, smells blood by kensuke ushio, american horror show by snow wife, toc toc toc by zazie
ateez masterlist | navigation
a/n: i had an absolute blast working over my fave fic ever posted. i love it even more now <3
also wanted to say a special thank you to @hwaightme who really helped me pulled through with one <3 ily bai <3333
Seonghwa was bored out of his mind. Like he had been for decades now, even centuries. He couldnât remember what it was like to feel⊠well⊠anything at all really. And after years upon years of vegetating he didnât care enough to even try anymore. He just laid there, endlessly staring blankly at the emptiness. He tapped his slender finger on his thigh, comfortably set on the bed of dark purple smoke he had materialized out of thin air.
He let out an audible annoyed groan as he was nonchalantly stretching out his long limbs which didnât fail to catch the attention of the others.
âWhatâs wrong?â Yeosang asked as he was feasting on some delicious meal he poofed out magically. He didnât even take a second to look up the bucket full of chicken drumsticks, wrapping his greasy fingers around the bone and eyeing the meat like one would their life long partner. But then again, that wasnât too far from the truth for Yeosang.
âIâm boredâ Seonghwa complained, pushing his long silky black hair back on his forehead and choosing to ignore Yeosangâs lack of interest, dragging out the word on his tongue, transmitting his state of utter apathy to the others.
âWhy donât you go up and play with the Humans?â Mingi suggested while checking himself out in the mirror, readjusting his bangs and sliding his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose before striking a pose to himself, remaining completely self absorbed.
Once again, Seonghwa wasnât getting much attention from his counterparts but he was somewhat used to it when it came to Mingi.
âWhatâs the point? They are no fun anyways!â Seonghwa sat up straight and crossed his long elegant legs on the cloud of cotton like smoke.
âWhy?â Jongho asked, unlike the others he deigned looking in Seonghwaâs direction with somewhat surprised eyes. âYou used to love going around and breaking up happy marriages, luring men and women in with your charms⊠That was always fun!â He said a little sluggishly, but still with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.
âYeah⊠Maybe it wasâŠâ Seonghwa replied. âTwo millenniums agoâŠâ Another prolonged sigh. âWhen everything still felt fresh.â He got up from the comfortable cloud of smoke, pacing the endless void as his heels clacked and echoed with each step. âNow I know that Humans are only self centered vile creatures who only claim to have better morals than us because they are scared of the consequences that inevitably ensue from succumbing to their primal desires. When in fact, all they want is to eat, kill, have sex or not do anything at all. They are nothing short of underdeveloped, unevolved, spineless piles of meatâÂ
âMeat? Where?â Yeosang said, finally lifting his head from the bucket of fried chicken to look around, eyes rounded in panic.
Not a single one of them reacted except Mingi who side eyed him with disdain before returning to more important matters at hand such as swapping the aviator sunglasses for narrower, more rectangular ones.
âThatâs not entirely falseâ Jongho concluded, shrugging, easily giving up on the idea of comforting Seonghwa.
âI mean whereâs the fun if you canât break their minds to give in?â Seonghwa placed both hands on Jongho's shoulders, slightly shaking him while the latter lifelessly swayed back and forth. âWhat is the point if they donât resist the call of evil? If you canât erode their will like a rock made smooth by the incessant beating of the waves of the cruel sea.â Seonghwa huffed in a quiet, defeated voice, letting go of Jongho's shoulders to let his arms hang at his side while the other one stared at him blankly.
âHm⊠okayâ Jongho said before slipping off Seonghwa's reach to take his place on the fluffy bed of purple smoke, crashing head first onto the soft cloud.
A silence settled for what seemed like a long moment, even for them, immutable creatures to whom the very concept of time couldn't grasp at their permanence.
âWell you never tried with that girlâŠâ Wooyoung said, slithering his way to Seonghwa without a sound. He had been watching the scene unfold from afar up until then. âWhat was her name already?â He snapped his fingers and looked to the side trying to access his memory. He turned to Mingi for help but he was too busy looking through the mirror, slipping on yet another dangling necklace and smirking, satisfied at the results. Wooyoung then tried his luck with Yeosang but he now had his face buried in a huge bowl of chicken broth, the empty bucket of fried chicken abandoned and slurping up a big mouthful of noodles in a rather unpleasant way. âJongho?â he called, finally settling for the one that looked almost passed out on the bed of smoke, but still this one wielded the most positive result.
âY/nâ Jongho responded without conviction, still laying flat on the cloud of smoke, eyes growing heavier by the second.
âYeah! Thatâs right!â Wooyoung exclaimed. âThat girl is unbreakable,â he affirmed. Seonghwa scoffed and threw an unconvinced look to his peer.
âNo really! Iâve tried to corrupt her but I really couldnâtâ. Wooyoung said, raising his brows and talking loudly to support his point. But that did little to persuade Seonghwa, he was convinced that Wooyoung was just not as good as him at breaking the mortalsâ souls. So yes, it was possible that Wooyoung had struggled with that girl. But not him, surely not him.
When Wooyoung saw Seonghwa was not budging his face dropped, and he turned to the others. âPlease someone back me up on this oneâÂ
âOh yeaaah⊠I remember herâ Yeosang said, voice cut by various sounds of loud lips smacking and open mouth chewing. âEven I tried!â
Now, that was different. Seonghwa was interested. Most people are quick to indulge themselves when it comes to food. It was, so to speak, the easiest sin of the seven to succumb to. The Humans often say âthereâs always room for dessertâ and innocently eat a generous slice of cake after devouring a full meal. They donât even notice Yeosang forcing the big spoon full of buttery sugary goodness into their mouths. They donât even know Yeosang, himself, made this saying.Â
âShe refused to even do as much as taste the delicious meal I made her sister cook for her even though she was starving⊠instead she gave it to the homeless man living not far from her apartment.â Yeosang stated with aberration shaking his head in disappointment before plunging right back in the ramyeon bowl.
âHmmmâ Seonghwa scratched his chin, his curiosity for the mysterious righteous girl was piqued.
âOne day I tried to make her give inâ Jongho chipped in from the dark purple smoke bed, even pushing himself on his elbows to look at the others, to Seonghwaâs surprise. âMade her miss the train and the bus she needed to take to get home after work and conveniently laid a juicy wallet stuffed full of even juicier bills in the gutter. All she had to do was to bend down and get the money to take a taxi to her apartment. But instead she took the money and walked to the police station to report the lost wallet, which was in the opposite direction by the way and then walked back home only to take a shower and leave right after to attend the charity soup kitchen. Anddd⊠Explaining this made me tired. Please don't talk to me for the next two hundred years, thank you.â Jongho concluded in one single breath before laying back down and turning on his side to nap comfortably.
âMaybe that one can be interesting after allâ Seonghwa thought aloud, his pretty face taking on a pensive frown, his sharp brows joining on his forehead.
âYeah no kiddingâ Wooyoung added. âAnd you donât know the best part yetâŠâ A perfidious and sly smile pulled on his handsome features. âShe was just ordained nun.â
Seonghwaâs face turned serious as his eyes snapped back to Wooyoung. All of a sudden the girl went from distraction of the day to possibly the ultimate challenge of corruption Seonghwa has been waiting for god knows how long (and he surely did not use the expression lightly).
âDonât mess with me, Envy!â Seonghwa spat, suddenly calling Wooyoung by his biblical name, testifying the gravity of his statement.
âIâm not kidding, Lustâ Wooyoung mocked Seonghwaâs serious tone by also using his sin name. âShe decided the life of material things wasnât the way to happiness so she devoted herself to a humbler one, gifting her time and belongings to the poor and destitutes while she devoted her body to God. God onlyâŠâ Wooyoung said, feigning nonchalance while he snaked an arm around Seonghwaâs shoulders. âLook⊠Here she isâ he purred in his neck.
With a flick of his wrist, green smoke emanated from thin air and formed a pierced circle where in the middle the reflection of a girl could be seen. She was quiet, in the very humble room, a single window shone down onto the bed as she knelt at its side, palms joined, retreated into silent prayers.
Sheâs perfect.
That was Seonghwaâs first thought as an obscene smirk tugged at his mouth, his tongue swiping across his lips making them shiny and wet. He eyed the girl kneeling by the bed as he lowered his chin, one strand of hair falling over the piercing siren eyes. The black and white uniform she was wearing, the habit, couldnât fool the seasoned eyes of Seonghwa. All the fabric in the world couldnât hide away the glorious curves of her body, the beautiful arch of her back leading to the roundness of her bottom gently resting on her heels. The holy swells of her chest softly lifting the thick black material of the habit and the simple wooden cross held by humble twine she was wearing around her neck.
Divine.
Was what described her best.
âSheâs stunning,â Seonghwa huffed in a soft murmur, mesmerized and captivated by the image Wooyoung was showing him. And he smirked in victory, relishing on the way he had convinced his peer, once again living up to his name and very nature.
âYeah I know.â Mingi said, finally turning his face away from his reflection to address Seonghwa. âI thought with such a pretty face sheâd be easy to convince that sheâs above everyone else and just make her a pretentious too-far-up-her-own-ass bitch. But I quickly realized she was a lost causeâ he concluded, shrugging and stepping away from the mirror, sitting down next to Jongho, already fast asleep only to materialize another handheld mirror. seconds later.
âYesâŠâ Seonghwa spoke softly as he stared intensely at the girl. âShe just might do.â
***
You were on cleaning duty at the church today after the mass. Even if the church was quite big it didnât intimidate you. You settled the two buckets of warm soapy water and your floor cloth before tying your hair up in a rather unaesthetic but very practical hairdo and stretched your shoulders before giving yourself a determined little nod.
You started with scrubbing the ancient cobblestone of the old church with soap and a lot of elbow grease. Then you immediately followed up with dusting the chairs, the altar and the numerous effigies.Â
You diligently washed, dusted, scrubbed, cleaned, polished, until everything was neat and right. Simply happy and content with the idea of being useful to the community. The rhythmic sounds of your hard bristle brush against the pavements were setting the pace of the silence which helped you connect to the spiritual nature of the ancient place of worship.
But as you were tidying the confessional booth you noticed a small piece of colorful paper peeking from underneath the bench lined with worn burgundy red velvet. When your hands reached under the seat and hazardly caught the object you knew it was a magazine from the glossy feeling of the paper underneath your fingertips and when you finally let your eyes fall on it you realized the nature of the magazine.
Porn. A pornographic magazine.
The cover displayed several nude women adopting very suggestive poses, one of them even dangerously leaning her face towards the intimate parts of another one.
The obscene imagery made your heart race and you started to feel dizzy. You sat yourself on the bench and rested the lewd magazine in your lap. You took a deep breath and, very slowly, parted the red curtains to make sure you were alone in the church. Then you opened the magazine and flipped the cover page.
âOh my⊠Look at that! She is flipping the pages!â Yeosang exclaimed.
âOh sheâs definitely curious about it,â Mingi laughed, his lips stretching into a satisfied half smile. But Seonghwa was more cautious, he refused to believe it just yet. Something about your body language was not right.
âShhhâ he shushed the others and motioned for them to keep looking through the green smoke.
As your fingers glided across each page. You felt hot in the face with each scene more obscene than the last one, tension building in your neck.Â
Seonghwa didnât lose sight of you for a second, his lips curling on his teeth in a vicious smile as your trembling fingers went over every single page, your wide open eyes darting to every corner of each page. He could almost hear your heart thumping in your chest he could almost taste the adrenaline in your blood.
When you came to the end of it and closed out the magazine you sighed, letting your shoulders drop, closing your eyes in relief.
âWellâŠâ you started ânobody left their name in itâ you said to yourself, completely unaware the demons were spying on your every move. Not that you expected that anybody would leave their signature in such a piece of literature but still you had to at least try to find the rightful owner before taking actions.
A loud complaint erupted from the demons. All in disbelief. You looked at the magazine, true. But it was not for an impure purpose. It was only in the hopes of finding the name of the true owner and hopefully, returning it back to them. You had no interest in the salacious scenes presented in the glossy pages. The rushing blood to your cheeks wasnât due to any feeling of arousal or libidinousness. It was only the shame of invading someoneâs privacy.
Once again your intentions were completely commendable. Immaculate.
As the demons protested and complained, Seonghwa, on the other hand, stayed completely silent as he watched you bring the magazine to a trash bin without an ounce of regret. He wasnât disappointed, he was excited. He felt excitement. A feeling so distant and faded that it felt foreign. Seonghwa had forgotten all about this thrill. He didnât remember how tingles tickled the tip of his cold fingers or how his guts swirled around in frenzy. This feeling was joy. Pure joy. Sweet intoxicating euphoria. And it was all thanks to you.
âIâm gonna have so much fun with youâ he whispered to you, as if you could hear him, his eyes glued to the reflection in the pierced circle of deep green smoke, he whispered to the image of the unsuspecting girl discarding the impure magazine. A paltry, too poor of a stratagem to have you yield to the darkness. You, the pious and saintly nun.
***
You never really liked cooking, before you joined the covenant your sister was always the one in the kitchen preparing delicious home cooked meals for the family. But what you did like on the other hand was helping. Usually you cleaned up the kitchen but when your sister was running out of time she would ask you to peel the vegetables or cut them. So naturally cutting the vegetables was not your favorite task around the convent. You liked cleaning and tidying up better. Only because you were more on the active side and you liked how cleaning would make you break up a sweat when the whole monastery needed a dust off but nonetheless what you liked most was to help the community. And knowing the soup you were cooking up with the help of two of your sisters was going to feed everyone was a fulfilling feeling. Well enough to make you happy.
So you were contemplating life cutting off the homegrown zucchinis when Sister Chaeyoung started to giggle. You didnât pay much attention until Sister Nayeon started to snicker along with her.
You lift your eyes up and the both of them instantly stiffened up and started to act suspicious.
âWhat are you laughing about you two?â you asked, an amused smile playing on your lips.
âOh nothingâ Nayeon said, hiding something behind her back.
âCome on, I want to laugh tooâ you said, the smile spreading further on your face, lifting up your cheeks adorably.
You three were the youngest in the convent so you did many duties together, you grew quite close with the girls.
Chaeyoung ripped something from Nayeonâs hand and proudly showed it to you.
âLook at this carrotâ she said, puffing an adorable laugh.
It was true the carrot had quite the⊠interesting shape. First of all it was quite large, abnormally thick for a simple carrot. Homegrown vegetables were never like the perfectly shaped ones you could find at the store and it was definitely the case for this one. It had a slight upward curve and the extremity had a very distinctive shape. It was phallic.
You delicately took the vegetable from the hands of Chaeyoung to examine the orange root closely.
It was almost unnatural how close the resemblance was, like it couldnât be due to fortuity⊠The thick tip, the robust and curved upright shaft, the asperities reminiscent of the blood engorged veins, even the small slit at the top⊠The details were impressive.
âLook lookâ Mingi exclaimed, nudging Seonghwa in the ribs as he observed you through the green fog. âShe looks interested. I think sheâs done this timeâ. He declared self-assured, cocking a single eyebrow. But Seonghwa remained completely silent but a smirk pulled on his lips when he noticed how you were eyeing the forbidden vegetable (no pun intended), how your throat seemed to thickly swallow and how your lip slightly trembled.
It felt so empowering, finally getting to chip away at your strong willed spirit, finally getting lust to creep under your skin. For these long seconds of contemplation, Seonghwa could only imagine the wicked places your mind raced to. But right when he was about to open his mouth and declare victory. You laughed.
Seonghwaâs eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as this laugh ripped through him, like a dagger through the skin.
You laughed so openly, your head hung back, eyes creased. The laugh was like the rest of you, joyful, clear and pure.
You are only amused by such a coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course it was funny and you were never the stuck up kind and it felt right to have a bit of lighthearted fun with your younger sisters.
âI guess sheâs only laughing at your stupid tricks,â Wooyoung said, his sly smirk mocking Seonghwaâs failure.
âFuck off Wooyoungâ Seonghwa spat as he watched the scene unfold.
The three of you just laughed, enjoying this bonding moment together while the stricter, older sisters and the Mother Superior werenât there to dim down your childish and silly amusement. It was just some playful, innocent humor to you.
Nothing to shake your faith or virtue.
âNow letâs finish up the soup, girlsâ you said, setting the amusing carrot on the cutting board. Before chopping it up and tossing the pieces in the big pot.
âMaybe we should have kept itâ Chaeyoung whispered with pouty lips. âIt could have been useful.â
âDonât be silly,â you replied with a smile.
Seonghwa felt anger bubbling up in his stomach and rushing through his veins to burn down his chest and neck. As much as he hated to admit it⊠Wooyoung was right, these stupid tricks were no match for the unwavering righteousness of your mind. These would certainly suffice if it was any other soul but not yours. Not you.
So Seonghwa resolved to resort to drastic measures. Something he hasnât done for centuries. But something necessary. This anger he felt, the deception upon failing once again. He hadnât felt that in so long, he felt alive finally. It was ironic how an immortal soul would forget how to feel alive for the simple reason that nothing is a threat to their existence. Their presence is immutable, infinite, certain. Therefore unexciting, monotonous and lifeless.
The negative feelings reminded Seonghwa of a purpose he once had, they reminded him of the stakes that used to be. In a way you reminded Seonghwa what it felt like to feel. You reminded him what it meant to be alive. Him, the unholy and vile Sin of Lust.
***
âYou cannot be serious,â Hongjoong exclaimed, rubbing the deep crease between his eyebrows, this conversation was starting to give the Guardian of the Gate a headache.
âI am most certainly serious,â Seonghwa assured. âNow is the best time.â
âWhy?â Hongjoong asked. âIâm sorry but I canât let you through unless you give me a solid explanation.â
âCome on Joongie~â Seonghwa said innocently smiling at him leaning on the smaller man in front of him, wrapping his arms around his waist and tilting his head adorably. âYou and I go way back, right?âÂ
âYour ways have no power against me, Lust. You know that.â Hongjoong just looked at him scornfully. âNow if you donât tell me your plan Iâll shut the gates for the next century.â
âWhat has this place come to? We used to be able to go and play with humans all day and not get questioned,'' Seonghwa complained, throwing his hands in the air and slipping away from Hongjoong. But the latter didnât budge. âFineâ Seonghwa spat.
âYou see my dear friend, today sheâs ovulating. Her body is most likely to respond to the primitive instinct of the survival of the species. Meaning that her spirit is most likely to be weaker.â Seonghwa explained his reasoning.Â
âBut how do you plan on actually interacting with her? You know you wonât be able to have physical contact, you'll go through her like a ghost. Unless she summons you. And I donât see how or even why she would call your name three timesâ Wooyoung pointed out, as he was watching the feud from afar.
âI know that Iâm not stupidâ Seonghwa said with an eyeroll and a sigh. âI wonât need to touch her to break herâ he assured.
âBut how if she canât even see you?â Hongjoong yelled, ready to pluck the hair out of his head. Seonghwa was about to become the Guardian's breaking point.
âHey relax, okayâ Seonghwa said, slipping behind the man and gently pinching the muscles of his shoulders. âYou are starting to look like San.â
âWhat did you say about me? â San yelled from across the empty space, interrupting his card game with Yunho.Â
âJust playâ Yunho instructed with a monotonous fed up tone, pointing his chin towards the deck of cards.
âThis game is stupid anyways!!â San screamed before flipping the table over in a loud grunt as the cards flew everywhere, floating gracefully to the ground. Yunho sighed deeply.
âHe always does thisâŠâ he whispered to himself, getting off the chair and walking to Hongjoong and Seonghwa as Jongho was peacefully snoring close by.
âHow can he sleep through this?â Yeosang looked at Jongho in disbelief, as he was stuffing more cheesecake into his mouth. Yunho scoffed.
âHow can you eat through this?â Yunho underlined and Yeosang just shrugged before smiling with his mouth still full, earning disgusted grunts and complaints from the others.Â
âCan we focus for one minute here?â Hongjoong interrupted, desperately trying to get back on track. âHow are you going to corrupt her if she canât see you?â
âOh but she will see meâ Seonghwa smirked.
âNot in the monastery she wonât, not on sacred groundâ Wooyoung mocked his overly confident tone.
âItâs true, you knowâ Yunho chipped in, putting his large palm on Seonghwaâs shoulder. âI canât believe Iâm about to say that but⊠I think youâre being greedyâ Yunho concluded, as Seonghwa whipped his head to him.
âWow⊠Thatâs so out of character for you.â
âWell that should speak volumes about the foolishness of your planâ Yunho shrugged, taking his hand back.
âItâs not foolish because she will see me. For the simple reason that she will invite me inâ Seonghwaâs smirk grew wider as silence settled in the unholy space between hell and earth. Wooyoung laughed hysterically, holding his ribs as he wiped off a tear in the corner of his eyes.
âAnd how will you manage that?â Hongjoong asked with a raised, unimpressed eyebrow.
Just then a chiming sound could be heard in the emptiness. Seonghwa fished out of his pocket a small human device. All in the room looked incredulous As Seonghwa smirked at the small screen illuminating his pretty face.
âSince when did you-â Hongjoong started but Seonghwa simply brought his long pointer finger to his lips and shushed him.
âSheâs waiting for meâ
***
âA disasterâ Mother superior exclaimed as she threw her arms at her side, looking at the flooded basement. âWe cannot go to the retreat and leave until the problem is fixed. The humidity can damage the foundations of the monastery. âIâll stay and sort it out.â
The sisters all let out frustrated sighs.
âYou should go Motherâ you stepped in. âThe sisters need you at the retreat as well as the faithful⊠Iâll stay and get things in order. You can count on meâ you said with a determined nod and a smile, tightly holding the wooden cross on your chest.
As much as you wanted to go. Someone needed to stay, that much was undeniable and the wisdom of the Mother Superior was needed at Lourdes. So it wasnât without a little sting at the heart that you waved goodbye to a bus full of your friends, your sisters.
You went back in and sighed at the mess. The ancient timber beams were slowly soaking up the stagnant water, the old stones of the walls were being eroded and the humidity was not good news for the cheeses you were maturing, not even mentioning the ruined mushrooms you were about to harvest before the disaster. Of course the boiler was old and rustic but Mother Superior always made sure it was checked annually and repaired when it was needed before any damage could be done. But even the most diligent measures sometimes canât prevent the unforeseeable hazards of life.
You went back up and searched for a plumber in the local newspaper. Luckily there was an ad for one that was living in town.
Park, plumbing/heating engineering at your service, the flashy ad read.
You looked at the time, it was late afternoon, probably a little too late to take up a new job, but you figured there was still hope he could at least pick up the phone and maybe appoint a day to come have a look at the leakage. You didnât waste anymore time and dialed the phone number in the ancient and only phone located in the Mother Superiorâs office.
As the tone rang you suddenly got nervous. Ever since you joined the convent you didnât interact much with the outside world except the followers coming to church or the people you were helping. So this upcoming conversation was making you agitated.
âHello, Park, plumbing and heating engineer, how can I help you?â You are surprised by the voice at the end of the line. You never expected such a smooth, melodic voice to pick up the phone.
âH-Hi! Iâm Sister y/n from the Monastery of the Sacred Mission, our basement flooded, we think the boiler possibly needs to be replaced. Is it possible for you to come take a look?â
âOh! Sorry to hear that. Iâm guessing much damage has been doneâŠâ his concerned tone somewhat eased your nerves.
âUnfortunately yesâ
âI see⊠I can come right nowâ
âReally?â you blinked your eyes twice in surprise. âWell that would be marvelousâ you said cheerfully âbut wouldnât you be working past hours? I fear thereâs quite a lot of workâ you ask concerned.
âItâs okay. You help others so much. Now itâs my time to help youâ his tone changed, a subtle switch you canât put into words but the difference sent a shiver down your spine.
âThank youâ
***
âThank you so much for coming this quicklyâ you thanked the man as he stood in the impressive frame of the heavy convent door.
You took a step aside to let him in but he just stood before the front steps not moving an inch. You threw him a puzzled look but he just stared back blankly at you. There was a moment of hesitation on his behalf that left you quite perplexed.
âPlease come inâ you hesitantly said while amicably smiling at the man.
âThank youâ he simply responded, almost sounding relieved.
As soon as he stepped foot in the door frame you felt a cold breeze run on your neck under the habit and shivers run down your spine. Autumn was indeed well advanced now but such cold winds were usually never felt before winter. Of course, you made little of a simple gust of wind.
âHi. Iâm Sister y/n. Nice to meet youâ you stuck your hand out to him. He looked down at it and fumbled with the tool boxes but opted for a polite nod instead of a handshake.
âSorry, Iâve been working all day and my hands are dirtyâ he laughed nervously âand the name is Seonghwaâ he flashed the brightest smile you have ever seen. For a second your heart skipped a beat and a foreign feeling blossomed in your chest. You never expected this unknown plumber to be this handsome.
He had long and shiny raven black hair perfectly framing his face and just as healthy thick eyebrows complimenting the dark, round and benevolent eyes, reminiscent of boba pearls. A long elegant neck, a defined jawline, high cheekbones and tanned olive glossy skin.
His body was cladded in an unbuttoned navy blue overall that let peek out a simple white t-shirt underneath. You could tell the outfit had undergone various difficult jobs as the fabric was thinned out at his knees and had various stains of paints and plaster.
He looked like a kind man. Like the kind of person you would give communion to without confession. The kind of person that just has a good heart. It was that kind of reassuring and warm aura that you felt from him, something that put you at ease right away.
You led him to the faulty boiler.
Right away he got on one knee and started to inspect the recalcitrant piece of machinery.
âWell Iâll leave you to work on your ownâ you said as you retreated to take your leave. Seonghwa only politely nodded and smiled in your direction before turning his attention back to the problem.
While the plumber was working you put your time to good use and organized the paperwork of the Mother superior. Doing such work was always tedious for her because she wasnât exactly the organized kind of woman but you were. You knew doing that you would be of great help. Since the task was quite large, it took quite a long time and itâs only when your stomach emitted a loud grumble that you realized the evening was well advanced.
You figured Mr. Park was hungry or at the very least thirsty after working for so long. So you grabbed a metal tray and brought him a set of the specialty sugar cookies the convent was selling along with a generous serving of cold water embellished with a dash of freshly squeezed lemon juice to make sure Mr. Parkâs thirst would be thoroughly quenched.
When you passed the archway that was leading to the boiler room your heart nearly stopped beating when your eyes met the working man.
Swiftly you spinned on your feet and hid behind the wall, only peeking an eye out the corner to still be able to witness the novel scene taking place in front of you.
Seonghwa had tightened the sleeves of his blue overalls around his waist and was wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, clearly the labor was not restful. You couldnât tell if it was from sweat or from the leaking water but his white t-shirt was wet and sticking to his skin, making the fabric lightly translucid. You could guess the dark pinkish color of his nipples and the outline of his well built body underneath. The short sleeves of his t-shirt were rolled up and were tightly hugging his arms while his long fingers were wrapped around a wrench as each twist of his wrist was making the veins of his forearm bulge out.
You loudly gulped down a lump in your throat. Your hands tightly held onto the tray in fear of letting it fall to your feet.
But your misery was far from over because before you could realize it Seonghwa was pulling on his shirt and passing it over his head. Every muscle of his back moving around, contracting and relaxing in a beautiful dance, shining under the golden hour sun seeping through the small single window of the basement. Water and sweat was running down his back and at his flanks, when he turned around, your eyes dashed around his naked upper body. You couldnât decide where to settle them. His collarbones, his pecs, his abs, the dent at the sides of his abdomen, his (very) low resting overallsâŠ
Your heart was about to give out. You had seen male bodies before, never in real life that was true but you did once or twice on TV or on billboard ads of menâs underwear.
But, never, you felt something like that. That feeling. This tingly feeling budding in the low pit of your stomach, making your guts stir around, making your palms sweaty, making your heart helplessly hammer against your ribs, making your eyes widen as you couldnât peel them off the naked wet skin of the handsome stranger. This feeling of immoral interest for another personâs body, this longing for somebody elseâs touch.
This feeling of Lust.
It was completely foreign to you.
If it wasnât for Seonghwa you would have chugged the whole carafe of lemony water by yourself because you never felt your throat as dry as it felt right now.
âLook! Look!â San shouted, wrapping a strong hand around Wooyoungâs forearm and making him wince in pain as they both stared at you through the green smoke. âY/n is giving in!â
âLook at the way sheâs staring at him!â Yeosang said, briefly reaching for a napkin to wipe his mouth.
âWowâ Yunho added âShe definitely isnât thinking about church-appropriate thingsâ. Yunho laughed but Mingi scoffed.
âIf she likes him, wait till I show my human form. Iâm infinitely more good looking than himâ
âNot everythingâs about you, Mingiâ Yunho scolded him.
With trembling hands you settled the metal tray onto the window sill. You poured a glass of water and presented it to Seonghwa.
âHereâ you unexpectedly manage to keep your voice calm and steady. âI figured you might be thirsty or hungry.â
âOh thanksâ he said, wrapping his hand around the glass, carefully avoiding touching your hand in the process, probably trying not to get sweat and dirt smeared on you. âI just got done actuallyâ
âOh wonderfulâ you exclaimed, maybe a little louder than expected. Maybe eager to get rid of that immoral feeling that was awakened by his presence. Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow and gave you a puzzled look at the unexpected outburst of joy.
âWhy? Are you impatient to throw me out?â he smirked, pushing his long and soaked hair back as he took a step closer, doe eyes narrowing, becoming sharp. You did your best to lock your eyes with his, not to let them wander down his still half naked body. Seonghwa didnât make any effort to cover himself. Your heart seemed to be trying to break through your rib cage to get a chance to beat closer to Seonghwaâs chest.
âNo, itâs just thatâŠâ you took a step back âyou have been working for so long you must be wanting to go back to the comfort of your homeâ you quickly get back on your feet before smiling politely at him, trying to conceal your uneasiness.
âWhy?â he asked tit for tat, taking a step closer again, siren eyes bored deep into yours, trying to lull you in. âNo one is waiting for me at home.â
Seonghwa heard the faintest little gasp escape your lips and he knew you were shaken. You, the unwavering nun, the faithful saint. You were at last considering him. Contemplating giving in to the primal and lowly instinct of desire.
Seonghwa sensed it. He saw it in the way you hurriedly licked your dry bottom lip, he saw it in the way your eyes darted between his lips and his eyes, he saw it in the way you stopped backing away from him.
You, y/n, you were giving in to pure sensual need. No love, no sentiment involved. Only desire to feel a complete strangerâs body against yours, only pure, untainted lust.
If only he could touch you. If only he could, it would be so much easier to help you gently fall into the welcoming and serene arms of corruption. But he couldnât and that was making the whole experiment that much more exciting. He had to use deceit and trickery. Like a siren numbing your mind with a beautiful song.
But if you gave the slightest hint of submitting, if you let your guard down and let him into your heart then he would have won and that was all that mattered. If you tilted your head and you puckered up your lips to kiss him, if you took a step towards him to press your body against his, if your lifted your hand to feel his wet, glistening skin under your fingers, if you did anything to welcome the unholy desire, if you opened yourself to lust, then touching you would have been unnecessary because Seonghwa would have won and you and God would have lost.
And victory was oh so close. So close when he was as near to you as he could. So close when he slowly approached his face to yours. So close when your heart was pumping scorching hot blood through your veins, so close when your mouth started to water, so close when your lips started to quiver, so close when your eyelid started to flutter butâŠ
Again, you stepped back.
âWHAT?!â San shouted.
âNo way!!â Yeosang added, staring at your unsuspecting reflection in the green smoke.
Seonghwaâs shoulder dropped along with the satisfied little smirk.
âThank you for fixing the boiler this quickly, Mr Parkâ you said, averting your eyes, finally breaking the spell he had casted on you and peeling your eyes off him.
Seonghwa had cried victory too soon. He had counted the chicken eggs before they hatched, he had put the cart before the horse. In other words⊠he had underestimated you.
He underestimated your will, your faith and your unwavering sense of righteousness. The other Sins had warned him though but he didnât listen. They told him it was impossible to bend you. All of them had tried before and none succeeded so it was undeniable now that Seonghwa was just going to join them in failure.
âDonât worry about itâ he smiled at you, disappointment peeking behind his shiny brown orbs.
Seonghwa had accepted defeat when you led him back to the door of the convent. He walked away but turned around half way only to see your still body standing straight in the doorframe, perfectly incarnating your strong, unbending mind.
You only politely smiled when you pushed the big heavy door with difficulty, finally closing it in with a loud thud.
âFuck⊠I guess Seonghwa failed tooâŠâ Yunho stated as he watched you close the door. But Wooyoung looked at you with a knowing grin.
âIâm not so sureâŠâ he said as the smirk tugged further at his lips.
***
When you finally escaped Seonghwaâs taunting eyes, you leaned your back on the sturdy door, your spirit drained, your mind exhausted. You closed your eyes to catch a breath but the only thing you could see was the working manâs godlike figure carved onto your retinas, the translucent white t-shirt clinging to his golden skin, the sweat dripping down his temples and wetting the beautiful long strands of black hair, the bulging veins of his forearms and the dents engraved at both side of his lower stomach. And the more you thought about it, the quicker your breathing got.
You were all alone here⊠Your sisters and Mother superior were all gone. What wrong could it cause if you gave in just this once? Not that much, right?âŠ. Just this once.
With big strides you walked to the kitchen and handpicked a nicely shaped carrot, almost regretting not listening to Chaeyoung and keeping that other one.
But this one was going to do the trick. It was not too thick and just long enough to help you carry out your shameful business but not too big to actually taint you and strip you of the precious veil of chastity that you managed to keep intact all of these years.
You climbed up the stairs with haste, avoiding the marble eyes of the holy figures represented in the halls only to take refuge in your bedroom.
You slipped out of your shoes and laid on your bed. You didnât even bother taking the habit off, it wasnât going to take long anyway, you simply pulled it up.
When you slid off the white panties you realized how soaked you were. You couldnât believe it. Your whole life youâve never felt this way, the feeling was overwhelming and needed to be dealt with immediately. Yes, that was what you were doing simply ridding yourself of an impure feeling!Â
You whipped out the orange root and clumsily rubbed the thinner tip on yourself. The cold sensation took you aback and pulled a small gasp from your lips.
You coated the root with your juices and then you aimed it at your entrance. You slid the carrot inside, it was too thin to hurt in any way but it was well long enough. When you reached the bottom of yourself you couldnât help but to let out a satisfied grunt at the sensation of the vegetable rubbing against your sensitive spot.
You pulled it back out and slid it back in, this time a little faster. Heat gained over your body as your eyes fluttered close and you recalled the unfairly handsome and devilishly sexy working man.
The muscles of his back, his long slender neck, his collarbones, his beautiful sun kissed skin.
âAaahâ you sigh. âSeonghwaâ his name rolled off your tongue so naturally, almost like it was meant to be said like this.
His long and dark wet hair, his plush lips getting close to yours, his warm breath fanning your face.
âSeonghwaâ you moaned again, more high pitched this time as your wrist was getting more and more reckless, each time deliciously scrubbing your walls in divine and forbidden pleasure.
The way he looked at you, the way his dark eyes were filled with the same desire you had for him. The way they spoke volumes about the sinful things he wanted to do to you. And God⊠did you almost let him have his way with you.
You started to clench around the root, each time you pulled it out your walls were eagerly gripping on it, refusing to let it go, so you smashed it back in with force to grant their wish. Your walls quivered around the vegetable, a foreign and unknown euphoria was taking over you and you knew you were done for.
âIâm⊠ngh⊠c-cummingâ you whispered to yourself as you felt the tightness in your core reach a brand new level. âSeonghwaâ you cried out one more time, being only a few back-and-forths away from your sweet release but alas you couldnât pull it through.
Because without knowing, without realizing, completely unsuspecting, you called his name. You called his name three times. You summoned him.
Purple smoke started to erupt from the corner of the small dimly lit room by the late evening sun. With terror you ripped the vegetable out before you could finish and covered your modesty with the habit you were still wearing.
From the smoke appeared slick black leather chelsea boots resting under a pair of anthracite gray dress pants coated with a shiny silverish finish. As the smoke got thinner you could distinguish a matching cropped blazer with an asymmetrical and deconstructed silver vest underneath that was held together by one single button right under his neck, you could see the soft and glistening golden skin underneath. And finally when the smoke was completely gone you saw his face. The sharp features and the slender slithering body reminiscent of the one of a serpent, eyes just as sharp and presence just as menacing. A face you hadn't known for long but couldn't forget. Seonghwaâs face.
But he looked different. His long bangs werenât framing his face anymore, instead he had tied the long wavy strands in a high half bun. His aura was also different from when he was wearing the blue and spotted overalls. Now cladded in the revealing ensemble he looked expensive, confident and sensual.
Your jaw practically dropped to the floor when your mind finally wrapped around the information your eyes were transmitting.
âWell wellâŠâ Seonghwa stepped closer while you jolted yourself up the bed, your body cornered between the headboard and the wall.
âWhat are you?â you whispered with trembling lips, heart pounding, adrenaline rushing through your veins, ready to flee if need be.
Seonghwa looked at you, puzzled for a second. Then he laughed, head tilting back. The laugh made the hair in your nape stand. It was unnatural, cold and fundamentally evil.
âMe?â he asked. Right then you felt your body being magically lifted from the soft mattress. You shrieked again, utterly confused while Seonghwaâs magic slammed you against the bare walls of the humble bedroom, the tip of your toes barely scraping the worn out wooden floor.
âOh my, please pardon my awful manners,â he said in an overly polite tone. âIâm Seonghwa, Cardinal Sin of Lustâ he said, bowing respectfully, elegantly bringing his right hand on his chest in a princely manner. âBut for you, loveâŠâ Seonghwa stepped towards you, taking his time to look at you. He leaned on your ear to whisper.
âIâm a dream come trueâ his voice was deep, sultry, self-assured. Everything youâd imagine it to be.
A faint gasp escaped your lips as you felt his warm breath on your neck.
You wanted to scream to all heavens, you had brought a demon into the convent. You had desecrated the sacred ground of this place of worship, your home. You led the wolf to the sheeps. But you couldnât scream, you couldnât even if your life depended on it.Â
âW-what do you want?â you managed to push the few words past your teeth. Your voice, perfect opposite of the one of the demon: muted and trembling.
âJust want to finish my business with youâ his face stayed right where it was, nestled in the crook of your neck. Lips so close you could feel the heat radiating from them but somehow they were still too far, unable to touch you.
âWhat business?â you whimpered.
âDarling.â Seonghwa clicked his tongue and shook his head in disapproval. âThereâs no point in fighting anymore. Stop playing dumb with me. I know youâre a smart girl.â He took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo. âI already won, darling⊠that very second you decided to give in to the thought of me. That second you closed the big heavy door and thought you escaped my eyes. That very second I had won.â A wicked smirk pulled on his lips. But his words didnât make any sense to you.
This languish was torture, this state of expectation, of suspense. This proximity. You wished it would just stop. Be it touching you for good or get away finally. Just as if he read your mind he got even closer. Now it wasnât only his lips taunting the thin skin of your neck, it was his whole body, hovering over yours; but still⊠Not touching you.
âSure winning felt good. But you know what feels even better, darling?â You couldnât bring yourself to formulate words and only whimpered in response.
âI asked you a question, sweetheartâ he grinned, relishing on your anguish, placing both of his palms at both sides of your face, trapping your frail figure between his arms and the wall.
âItâs to finally touch you.â
So he finally let himself take a deep dive into you. The plush warm lips crash onto your neck, giving wet sloppy open mouth kisses while you couldnât help but to tilt your head back giving him more access.
âWhat a good girl you areâ he purred, not taking the time to part his lips from you.
His left hand went to your chin and turned it to make you face him, without much hesitation he planted a wet kiss on your lips, your cute whimpers and gasps were the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss.
The kiss got heated as Seonghwa pried your hesitant mouth open with his long thumb and pushed his tongue inside to breach your lips. His delicious taste spread through your mouth, making your head dizzy. He tasted like candy, like you just took a bite of the juiciest strawberry. Ripe, just in season, absolutely delicious.
You moaned into his mouth and he smirked as his grip around your chin got tighter, he lifted his knee to part your legs and his thigh rubbed against your center through the habit. You couldnât help but to moan louder, the unsolicited pleasurable friction made you incapable of reciprocating the kiss, your dangling feet nervously giving small kicks in the air.
Seonghwa finally parted from you, allowing you to catch your breath. But he was far from done with you.
âI know you long for more than this, angelâ he whistled while his hand went up your thigh, still clothed with the thick black fabric of the habit. âI know you languish for pleasureâ his blunt nails went up your arm and you realized you were still holding onto the carrot. He ripped the root from your hand.
âYou wonât need this anymoreâ he said before smashing the poor vegetable on the ground sending millions of orange pieces flying across the room, you flinched once more at the demonstration of strength.
âMine is much bigger than this. But donât worry, love, Iâll make you nice and ready for meâ he purred before placing both of his strong hands on the habit and just like that with astonishing ease he rips through the black gown. But not only, everything covering you is ripped in two and that also goes for your bra that fell to the ground. With the deafening sound of the fabric ripping you found yourself completely naked in front of the demon apart from the veil on your hair and the rosary beads laying on your chest.
You flinched and your hands flew to cover your nude frame but Seonghwa once again laughed and you felt an irresistible magical force pin your wrists at each side of your face. You sniveled and squirmed trying your hardest to go against the invisible force to hide away from the avid eyes of the demon.
âHow cute.â The demon snickered when you failed to fight back. âSweetheart, you donât get to hide anything when you look this goodâ he said in a breath, eyes darting over your naked figure. From your dangling feet, to your thighs tightly pressed together, to your flushed face and to the Rosary beads sitting between your gorgeous breasts, swaying every time you kept trying to break away from the spell pinning you against the wall.
He brought a cold hand to the side of your breast, you couldnât help but to moan as you felt his soft hand against you, his finger suddenly pinching your sensitive and hardened nipples. You let out a high pitched whimper.
âSo sensitiveâ Seonghwa mocked you before he flicked the sensitive bud. Then he lifted his hand to harshly slap against the innocent lump of flesh, you jumped in surprise at the sensation. The surprise didnât lie in the sudden surge of pain but rather from the enjoyment you got out of it, the sting sending electricity down your spine to light up your core.
With another faint movement of the head Seonghwa made you open your legs widely. You whimpered and felt tears build up in the corners of your eyes when he finally laid eyes on your most private part. And you realized with dread how wet you were. Soaked. Juices streaming down to your inner thighs making them glisten under his persistent gaze.
âFuck, sweetheartâ he exhaled out one heavy breath. âYou got this fucking wet for me?â he said as he crouched down, inching his face dangerously close to your exposed center.
Embarrassment and shame reached an unbearable level, tears finally spilled out of your eyes, wetting your cheeks as you squirmed, trying your best to escape Seonghwaâs spell.
âSo hereâs the little hole Iâm going to split in twoâ he said as his breath brushed over your wet folds.
You squirmed even harder, somehow feeling Seonghwaâs spell loosen around your wrists and ankles. But when he aimed his pointer finger right on your swollen bundle of nerves, earning a loud scream from you, the sudden pleasure from the perfect amount of pressure he applied on you made you completely immobile. Torn between the need for more of the foreign forbidden joy but also the fear and shame of letting the demon have his way with you, tainting you, taking away your most precious possession: your purity.
âWhat? Are you not fighting me off anymore?â He started to draw small circles on your bud. Your wetness made it easy for his finger to glide across the small and stiff nub. You moaned a little louder and he started going faster.
âDoes it feel good, angel?â his voice went down an octave as pleasure got to your head, making the room spin, luckily you donât have to stand on your legs.
Seonghwa went even faster when you didnât reply.
âI said, does it feel good?â his tone was as harsh as his restless teasing of your clit. Hellish circles sending blazing heat to your whole body as you felt the pleasure rising in the deepest part of your core, your walls quivering on themselves.
But Seonghwa slowed down at the worst moment, a wicked smirk pulling on his plump lips, narrowing his piercing siren eyes.
âGood little sluts should answer when asked a question.â His pace was now just fast enough to keep you at your limit, each spasm of your core, testifying of the agonizing muted pleasure he was inflicting on you.
âAnswer!â he ordered while he delightfully pressed on your painfully sensitive bundle of nerves.
âYES!! Yes it feels goodâ you blurted out, panting, sweat pearling between your breasts, giving in to the pressure.
âGood girlâ he praised as he finally lifted his hand from your sensitive parts. You sighed in both relief of finally being let off the hook but also in frustration at the displeasing feeling of his denial.
But before you could celebrate or pester he pushed that very same finger inside you. You didnât know by what ungodly miracle he managed to aim straight at your sensitive spot, but he did, applying divine pressure deep inside you. Your eyes instantly rolled to the back of your head as you felt the will of fighting off slipping through your fingers.
Seonghwa chuckled at your reaction, he was enjoying himself very much. After centuries of boredom he intended to savor every second of your agony.
âDarling, you really are hungry for my fingers, arenât you? Your slutty little cunt is gripping so tightlyâ he chuckled again while he pulled his finger back. You hated how right he was. You hated how you felt your walls clench around him, how you felt your own body crave for more of him as soon as his finger slipped out.
But the yearning didnât last long because he pushed past your entrance again, this time fitting two fingers inside you, taking the time to gently stretch you until his blunt nails reached as deeply as they could.
You let out a moan through gritted teeth, the pleasure making beads of sweat pearl at the sides of your face.
âFuck! Your virgin little pussy just loves to be stretched out like this, doesnât it?â He leaned even closer to your sopping center.
Tears continued to run down your cheeks as pleasure rose again. Seonghwa picked up the pace, stretching your walls so deliciously, pumping his two fingers in and out of you, each time he pulled out he ripped a moan out of you. Again, you started to twitch around his fingers and he smirked down on you. Pleasure continuously grew as you made this silent prayer that he would finally take you over the edge, over the barrier of this beautiful and forbidden land that you stayed away from all these years.
But again he slowed down and came to a stop. This time tears of pure frustration ran down your cheeks as you pathetically bucked your hips up trying to fight against Seonghwaâs spell pinning you down the wall.
âAww.â He cooed in a mocking tone. âDarling, Iâm sorry⊠were you about to cum?â He said while you shot him a death glare. He chuckled at your reddened cheeks and your frowned brows.
His finger swiped across your fold, pressing on the lonely bud once and you instantly dropped the angered look, your eyes drooped at the sensation and you couldnât help but to grind against him, your womanliness made so eager by his touches.
âFuck, look at youâ he slipped one finger back inside, pumping it very slowly in and out. You bit down on your lip. âActing so fucking distant only a few minutes agoâŠâ he added a second one as you moaned out in bliss. âWhen in fact you were craving this⊠craving meâŠâ he fitted a third one inside your already crowded heat as your moans now mixed with confused sobs. The intense feeling of pain and pleasure blending into a dangerous cocktail.
âFuckkkâ you cursed out, allowing yourself another sin you managed to avoid up until now, which has the demon showing more teeth.
âWhat a good little slut taking all of my fingers so goodâ he said as he took his time thoroughly stretching you out, his blunt nails pushing against your sensitive spot, while his face was closing in the distance with your intimate parts. Your eyes fluttered close as the muscles in your neck gave out and you let your head hang back on the wall.
âLook at meâ Seonghwa grunted and your eyes snapped back open instantly meeting his dark ones, his irises seemed to go black with perversion.
âNow Iâm gonna make you cumâ He announced as he picked up the pace once more, you can tell he didnât intend to stop before it was over. âI want you to never forget this. This feeling youâre about to experience.â His wrist took on a punishing pace as your eyes were locked with his. Pleasure sending radiating heat through your body, chest heaving up and down as you moan out loudly with your jaw hanging open. âEvery time youâll think of me I curse you to feel exactly⊠like⊠thisâ
Seonghwa finally wrapped his mouth around your lonely and eager little clit, flicking his tongue on it as his fingers relentlessly punched your g spot, both sources of pleasure go to your head and your first orgasm finally drops over you like a wave, taking you away with its raging current.
Your cum squirts out of your body, water like fluid rushing out of you and filling Seonghwaâs mouth, drenching his neck and exposed chest in the asymmetrical silver vest. He moaned, lips against yours and sending delicious vibrations into you.
You screamed out as the level of pleasure ripped through you, your walls clenching around Seonghwa and twitching uncontrollably as your whole body shook, still magically pinned down to the wall.
When you finally settled down he slowed down and took his fingers out of you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and licking his fingers clean.
âHmmmâ he hummed contentedly and smacked his lips, seemingly enjoying your taste. âItâs true⊠Good little sluts, like you, taste much betterâ.
Seonghwa cut the spell and stood back up, your exhausted body dropping to the floor, your weakened legs unable to support your weight.
Seonghwa had enough of this teasing and had grown impatient. He brushed back the cum-soaked locks of charcoal black hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks, the wet skin of his chest glistening under the silver asymmetrical vest. Your eyes trailed down below the belt you gasped as you saw the outline of what was hidden from your eyes all this time⊠Even still restricted by the fabric of the shiny gray dress pants, the thickness and the length had your heart racing again.
âI want to feel you around me. Now.â he ordered, in a sultry tone that lifted goosebumps all over your naked skin.
Suddenly your body was magically lifted up again but this time Seonghwa threw you on the bed. The veil was barely hanging onto your hair anymore.
Seonghwa walked to you as he took off the cropped blazer along with the rest of his clothes. You gulped down at the sight of his nude and perfectly sculpted body standing beside you. The glistening chest made wet with sweat and cum, dripping down his abs even down to his groin where you barely even dared to look.
There it was. The Absolute Sin.
Seonghwaâs long, thick, twitching, veiny, hard cock.
You could have screamed at the monstrous thing if you werenât still in a daze from your first crushing orgasm . It was so thick, so long you couldnât even begin to imagine how this was about to fit inside you.
Seonghwa chuckled when he caught the panic swimming in your wide eyes. He thrived on this fear. And he knew exactly how it was going to go. And he couldnât wait. He couldnât wait to see the very same doe eyes grow heavy with pleasure and look back at him with need when you will inevitably beg him to keep going, to never stop fucking you. Because he broke you once and he intended to do it over and over and over again until you will no longer remember anything but him.
Seonghwa dipped both his knees at your sides, his body weight making yours sink in the soft mattress while he shimmied his way up between your wide open legs.
He rubbed the thick blazing hot tip on your still very sensitive bud while he stared down at the place your two bodies met. You tried not to moan by biting down on your bottom lip.
âPleaseâ you meekly whimpered, his dark eyes shot back to yours.
âPlease what?â he slithered between his teeth, smirking.
âPlease donât⊠do thatâŠâ you puffed, as fear crushed your chest. Seonghwa snickered again and brought his hand to very gently and softly brush his thumb over your wet cheeks and lips.
âDarlingâ his deep voice purred so softly. âYou are not under any spell here. You can control this tiny little body of yours. So go aheadâ he taunted you as his hand went down from your face to your sensitive nipples. âGo ahead and close your legs.â
What? No⊠It isnât possible.
There was no way he was not the one forcing your thighs apart like this. But when you gave it a try, when you attempted to lift your ankle it actually worked. You indeed could move. But⊠somehow youâŠ. still didnât.
âCome on show me. Go ahead, prettyâ his hand went down again to your stomach. âClose your legs on this poor, aching, desperateâŠ.â he flicked his pointer finger on your clit âvirgin little pussyâ. The sweet sting made you moan out and arch your back instinctively.
Seonghwa waited a few seconds staring down at you with amusement as you didn't move an inch. Your body kept your legs nice and wide for him against your own will.
âYou know what?â he took his hand back and you swallowed back a whine and the loss of contact. âOkay, I wonât⊠if you are still this strong headed after all of this maybe youâre right. You are a pure spirit and I can admit defeat when I have lost.â
The smug look he wore completely gave him away. You knew it was a ruse, a ploy to get to you, to toy with you but you werenât listening to reason anymore, only your delirious body tortured with vicious need and you just couldnât risk it. You couldnât risk him leaving you, not like this.
âNO!â you wailed, extending your hand to him as he was already getting off the bed and on to his feet. âI-âŠI-⊠Ok⊠do itâ
Seonghwaâs expression here took a turn. The smug smile was completely wiped off his face, only dark brown and grave eyes looking down on your naked frame.
âYeah?â he came back to bed and laid over you. He brought his lips close to your ear and he seductively whispered against your neck as your eyes fluttered close. âIf you want it, sweetheart. Youâll have to properly beg for itâ.
Your eyes snapped open. But Seonghwa only looked dead serious.
âI- I-â you started but Seonghwa lifted his hand to let it slap against your wet cunt. The whacking sound bounced off the bare walls and the stinging pain had you grunting in unsolicited pleasure.
âI said properly. I want to believe youâ his voice had nothing of the playful undertone it had a few moments ago. You didnât think twice, maybe not even at all.
âPlease, Seonghwa. I implore you to fuck me. Please fuck and use my slutty virgin cunt as much as youâd like. Please hurt me and rip my virginity away. I want to scream and cry out your name. I want to be yours. I want to forget everything about the good girl I used to be, I want to be your whore. Forget about my soul, just take it with you back to hell.â
Silence fell as a grin played on his lips. Itâs not smug or playful, itâs wicked, downright evil.Â
You were not just begging him. The desperate prose was not just a plea. It was a prayer. You were praying for him to taint you. Begging him to take away your purity like it was nothing but a nuisance to you, discarding it. Seeing you abandon your values and principles was the greatest achievement, a victory so sweet it made Seonghwa lose control. The feeling was intoxicating, blissfully filling his veins and making his evil heart thump. In his infinite existence he had never felt that. And it was all thanks to you.
Suddenly his body was elevated in the air and purple smoke enveloped him again. For a second you were scared that he was actually leaving you but the thought vanished as quick as it appeared when you heard the distinctive shrill sound of the metal scraping against the wall. You looked above your head and you witnessed with dread the crucifix above your bed being slowly turned upside down, engraving the white plaster of the bare walls. The foreboding omen lifted goosebumps off your skin and sent a cold shiver down your spine.
Soon you saw his body peek out as the smoke evaporated. It was still him but he had changed.
Huge wings were open behind his back, covered in raven black lustrous feathers, shining under the moonlight peeking from the window as the dark night was now settled. Two black horns have pierced his skin at each side of his head, pointing upwards, resembling the ones of a spanish bull. His body, somehow, looked even more defined, the muscles of his abs and shoulders seemed to bulge out. He looked strong, ominous, dangerous.
âYou have such a way with wordsâ he said as he floated back between your legs and settled his huge cock on your stomach. âNow Iâm gonna make all of your wishes come trueâ. He brushed the tip of his cock, wet with precum, once again on your slick folds. âI've never fucked a mortal in my true form before.â he started, still rubbing against you, the muted pleasure making your brain fuzzy. âI canât guarantee youâll come out of this aliveâ.
But you were already set on it and if you had to die, so be itâŠ
âI donât careâ you whispered as your eyebrows met and you looked back at him with need.
You braced yourself when you felt him finally push himself inside you. You could practically hear your hymen rip in two to make way for his huge cock. The puny little carrot could have never compared to the size of him.
âWhat a good little slut you are,â he cooed, before grunting as you were gripping around him. âWilling to die for a round of fun on my big cockâ.
Sharp throbbing pain ripped through your lower stomach as you frowned and grunted.
âI knowâŠâ Seonghwa purred as he leaned over in your ear âIâm bigâ he said as he finally reached the bottom of you, linking his hips with yours. And he pulled out a lot faster than when he came in. Your eyes rolled back and you crushed the pillow over your mouth to yell in it.
But when he went back in again somehow the ache had lessened and pleasure was slowly taking its place. Soon the pain, as sharp as it was, vanished to become only a vague memory you couldnât even recall as your mind was too preoccupied by the incommensurable pleasure Seonghwa made you feel.
âFucking whoreâ Seonghwa grunted as he mercilessly ramed up your pussy, making it the shape of his cock. âCheating on God feels good, doesnât it? Your whorish little cunt canât resist this fat demon cock, can it?â he growled.
You started twitching once again around him and Seonghwa instantly recognized the familiar clench he felt earlier around his fingers.
âAre you going to cum?â he asked, panting above you.
You couldnât even process the words you were hearing as your eyes rolled back and your jaw fell open. But you were brought back to your senses when Seonghwaâs big clawed hand slapped your cheek forcefully. The burning pain took you aback and stopped your never ending ascension to pleasure. You whined a complaint and Seonghwa grabbed your face into a strong grip making your lips pout.
âGood little whores have to ask firstâ he said, still deeply pounding your precious little pussy.
âPleasepleaseplease⊠C-can I cum?... F-fuckk⊠Pleaseâ you mumbled as his pace made it hard to hold yourself back.
âNo!â he responded sternly. âNot nowâ he said, smirking evilly. Enjoying this anguish in your eyes as you tried your best to control your body. He brought his hand and pinched hard on your swollen little clit.
âAaaahâ you screamed, arching your back and pressing your head back into the soft mattress.
âYouâll cum when Iâll tell you tooâ he snickered, looking down at you. And the pleasure kept on building, frustrated tears starting to wet your cheeks again.
âMy God pleaseâŠâ you whined, as tears streamed down your face and your pussy clenched around his thick cock. Seonghwa scoffed.
âSorry but he has left you, darling.â He started to draw circles on your sensitive and aching clit, still maintaining the punishing pace of his cock rearranging your guts, making the rosary beads jump along with your breasts with each powerful thrust. You cry out as itâs becoming nearly impossible to keep yourself from cumming. âHe abandoned you to meâ he growled, his low voice sending electricity down your core.
âPleaseeeeeâ you pleaded once more, desperation oozing out of your broken up voice and finally Seonghwa pronounced the magic words.
âCum. Cum for me like the godless little whore that you areâ
Finally you let go. You let Seonghwaâs skillful hand and monstrous, merciless cock take you down to the hellish pit of lustful sin. Pleasure took over you and clouded your vision, everything came to a blur as you could only concentrate on the throbbing of your cunt around Seonghwaâs thick dick. You moaned out his name in pure agonizing bliss. The orgasm was even longer lasting, even stronger than the one he gave you moments ago. And you knew for a fact now that there was no going back.
The good girl that you were had died, Seonghwa killed her. And you had let him do it without batting an eyelash. But fuck did it feel good. You felt no shame, no regrets, only unholy desire for the demonâs heavenly cock.
Soon the high wore off but Seonghwa didnât seem to care and kept on pounding you, taking a bruising grip on your parted thighs with both his hands.
âPleaseâ you whimpered again as your poor little pussy might split in two from clenching and throbbing this much right after an earth shattering orgasm. Seonghwa chuckled in between heavy breaths.
âI just cameâ you cried out, turning into an over-stimulated mess.
âI donât careâ he spat, using you like a fucktoy just like he pleased, after all you had asked him to do so⊠âto fuck and use your slutty virgin cunt as much as heâd likeâ. The exhausted quivering of your restless pussy started to build up again and before you could even realize it, Seonghwaâs thick cock had you flirting with the edge of the bottomless pleasure pit again.
âPleaseâ you whined âPlease stopâ you begged him, breast lewdly jumping up and down with each of his brutal thrusts. But he kept on going, growling as his eyebrows met, handsome face contorted in pleasure, biting his lip. Body pressed over yours and full black feathered wings completely concealing you, one of his horns even scraping the wall with one too violent move.
âPleaseeeeeâ you whimpered yet again. And suddenly your body was being lifted and flipped over by Seonghwaâs spell. You land on all fours, completely confused but worst of all, completely empty.
âDonât you get it?â Seonghwa said as he slowly pushed himself back into your soft, warm little throbbing cunt. You moaned as you gladly took him back. âYou sold your soul to me. You donât get to ask for anything anymore. So Iâll fuck you for as long as I see it fitâ He said before pushing down on your face, shoving your head into a shamefully submissive position, your ass up in the air, ready to be destroyed by him once more.
His fat cock parted you so deliciously as lewd wet sounds rang to your ears. It was like your once virgin pussy had completely taken the shape of his monstrous dick. Every movement he made ripped a delighted moan out of your lips, you didnât have the will to fight anymore. You only wanted him and this delectable high he made you feel.
âFuckkkâ you cried out as he started to go faster again, the quiver in your lower stomach making a quick return.
âYouâre my thing now.â He ripped the veil of your hair, the last relic of your past self and sent it flying across the room. He grabbed a fistfull of your hair, harshly pulling on it maintaining your face forward but your chin still firmly planted in the mattress, asserting his dominance on your frail figure. âMy toy, you hear?â the sting on your scalp added to the full feeling of his cock had you completely fucked out. Your eyes rolled as heat spreaded through you again, your jaw fell open and your tongue slipped out. You were fucked out dumb, completely. Brain nice and thoughtless just from him.
âYeshhhâ you mumbled.
âIâm gonna make you cum again and this time I will fill your dirty little cunt with my cumâ The obscene sounds of his balls slapping against your slick folds and clit bounced off the walls.
âYesshh pwweatheâ you replied as your tongue slapped against your chin with each inhuman thrust of his hips deep into you, sending strings of drool on your chin and staining the sheets.
âToday youâre ovulating, you know what it means?â
Your eyes snapped back open.
âIâm gonna force a child into you. Youâll take my seed into your fertile womb and life will sprout inside youâ His grip on your hair tightened and you felt him start to twitch inside you.
âYouâd like that?â he teases, knowing the answer.
âYesssshhhhh!!!â you yelled, you were ready for anything if it meant heâd let you cum again.
âThen take it. Take my cum you depraved slutâ His second hand left your hips to grab the rosary still around your neck, twisting his wrist to wrap the beads around his fingers and pulling on it while still maintaining his grasp on your hair.
Bloodstream to your brain became restrained and you started to feel dizzy. A deliciously light headed sensation filled your head up as your pussy quivered with a third orgasm. Your hungry cunt squeezed Seonghwaâs thick length as if its life depended on it, demanding every last drop of cum the demon had to offer. You clenched and throbbed around him in pure joyful sin as he took you to the deepest part of this abysmal and cursed pleasure, taking your sanity and everything that was left of the old you to the pits of hell with him.
Seonghwaâs rhythm faltered and he shuddered and grunted in bliss as his throbbing cock gushed out streams after streams of piping hot cum that stained your walls with white, shooting straight up to your womb, assuredly knocking you up in the process.Â
You yelled and moaned one last time. You were so full of him, belly round and swollen with the ungodly amount of cum Seonghwa gracefully gifted you. You were so unbelievably full that you couldn't help but to let it flow out of you and run down your thighs, no matter how much you clenched to keep it all inside.Â
You were in heaven. This was pure euphoria. A kind of contentment not any amount of spirituality and virtue could ever give you. The kind of happiness you could only experience when you let go of everything youâve ever known to throw yourself into the arms of the most pleasurable sin of all.
Lust.
***
The next morning when you woke up at dawn with the chirping birds you felt nauseous and disoriented. You looked around the room and found it immaculate. Your habit was not ripped in two, it was neatly folded on the wooden bedside table along with your veil and underwear. The room was clean and neat: no traces of small pieces of orange carrot anywhere or puddles of cum on the wooden floor. And you were wearing a comfortable full length pyjama gown.
In a flash, disjointed memories came back to you. You remembered the anthracite gray suit, the black bull horns, the raven wings, the defined abs, the devilishly handsome good looks, the tempting smirk and the huge thick angry cock and the immense forbidden pleasure that came along with it.
You sat up and looked behind you hastily, the wall was perfectly smooth, no scrapes of the black horns and most of all the crucifix was perfectly normal, hanging right side up.
You spotted the small, thin, intact carrot next to your pillow and sighed in relief. Yes, you had sinned but you knew if you confessed and prayed hard enough God would forgive you. Afterall, you had never done such a thing and it was shameful and wrong, yes, but they were far greater sins than this one, like selling your soul to the Sin of Lust and bearing his child⊠You shook your head, chasing away the blurry memory of the nightmare, feeling a weird tingly build up in your lower stomach as you saw flashes of the evil smirks and the huge monstrous-
âIt was a dreamâ you said out loud, sighing, hoping the sound of your own voice would prevent your mind from imagining more of the sinful imagery. âJust a meaningless dreamâ you told yourself again.
Convinced the soreness between your legs was only due to masturbating for the first time, that the nausea was nothing to worry about and that the spasm inside your belly were benign little cramps.
Seonghwa smirked in victory as he looked at you through the pierced purple smoke. He made it. He broke you beyond repair. He went, won and marked you. And soon he would back to take what you had promised him: an offspring and your soul, body and mind, you.
âSee you soon, y/nâ he chuckled.
ateez masterlist | navigation
a/n: leave a comment or even a cheeky lil reblog if you liked it <3
taglist: @written-in-flowers @wlv-asteria @wisejudgedragonhairdo @skz1-4-3 @atinism @watamotee33 @sanhwalvr @alicedawitchbish @caratsmatic @reeateez @bts-army380 @woohwababes @yoonivjpg @salam2salang @seokqt @hotteokkay @itza-meee @stanredvelvetforstdprotection @meowmeeps @ingloriousbasterdss @roomsofangel @cheynalexilaiho @kyukyustar @seonghwasstar @oddracha @aaa-sia @lol-imtrash2000 @luminouskalopsia @yandere-stories @shocymer @bangchansbackohmygod
#seonghwa#seonghwa smut#ateez#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#park seonghwa#ateez hard hours#ateez hard thoughts#seonghwa ateez#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa hard thoughts#seonghwa hard hours#seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa imagines#kpop smut#ateez fic#ateez imagines#seonghwa x you#ateez x reader
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gonna take up on the request opening bc i love these lil blurbs you do with your moodboards! maybe "how they defend you online" esp charles and lando but if you feel like adding others its up to you !!
THE BOYS DEFENDING YOU FROM ONLINE HATE | F1 GRID
â
â LANDO NORRIS (4)
lando was streaming when you came home one day. once he heard the front door being closed and then your footsteps, he excused himself with his friends and viewers and went to greet you. when he came back, there were several texts from his friends letting him know of some not-so-friendly comments about you. suddenly, lando had something else to do and ended the whole thing. he did not tell you anything, lando simply waited until his next stream for what he wanted to do. it was very simple and definitely something lando would do; and staring right into the camera lando let the world know that if they donât support his relationship, then he just doesnât want their support at all. from then on, lando just blocked everyone who didnât have anything good to say. youâre the most important person in his life, how can anyone hate you? and so, lando made a promise to himself: show the world the amazing girl you are.
â
â CHARLES LECLERC (16)
even way before you started dating charles, receiving hateful comments and messages was a common occurrence. of course your boyfriend knew about it, everyone could see what was happening just by choosing a random picture on your instagram and reading the replies. it was sad, awful. but you didnât want charles to do anything, you stopped him a lot of times because you didnât want to bring too much attention into the whole thing. charles loves you and that is all that matters to you. it was, well, okay⊠until things became a little to real, a little too much, and charles couldnât sit back and do nothing. so with a little bit of help from his team, he managed to write a very good and long statement about the whole thing. there were mixed opinions but things quiet down a little. and you werenât happy at first, but something as simple as seeing your comment section hate-free made you forgive him sooner.
â
â OSCAR PIASTRI (81)
oscar is a man of very few words and never engages in online drama or gossip. if and when heâs online, oscar just wants to see cute and funny videos. heâs a formula one driver and people should only be interested in that part of his life, but he knows that will never be the case. however, heâs still surprised to see various comments around twitter about you. they are not about how beautiful or intelligent you are or how happy you seem to make oscar with your pretty smile and sense of humor â not that they would know that. not that they deserve to know that, either. some part of him wants to reply to those people who definitely donât know you, heâs angry, disgusted. and the rational part of him tells him to simply donât say anything because they donât deserve it. so, oscar just clicks to make a new tweet and begins with a simple phrase âyou donât know anything about me or my lifeâŠâ and so on. maybe he sounded a little harsh, maybe things will get worse; he couldnât care less, as long as youâre not mad with him, he can live with being the center of the drama. oscar will never let anyone disrespect you.
â
â MAX VERSTAPPEN (33/1)
max doesnât care what people think and have to say about him, that ship has sailed a long time ago. but he canât ignore when people say mean things about you, he just canât, so, he doesnât. max replies to every single tweet and comment on both his and your instagram that he sees, he goes directly to the point and if heâs mean then, who cares? maybe itâs a little bit childish but he doesnât care, max will not allow anyone to talk shit about his girl. and if he needs to make a video or do an interview or whatever he needs to do to make people understand that you are part of his life and forever will be, then he will be more than happy to do them. max is almost never online, so when all of this happens he makes sure to make time to be online, to post a picture of you on his instagram story, to post a photo of your vacation together on his feed, to say how much he loves you via twitter, to mention you when he has the chance during an interview. he loves making you blush and seeing you trying to hide your smile when you see all those things. max also loves pissing people off.
â
â ALEX ALBON (23)
alex tries to be friendly. when he sees someone say something not good about his girlfriend, he doesnât hesitate to prove them wrong and defend you. he knows youâre more than capable of doing it and has seen you doing it before; he loves it. but thereâs this something inside of him trying to break free and just let everyone know the funny, pretty, amazing, kind girl heâs lucky to call his girlfriend. so, alex lets it free and goes liking, retweeting and replying to every single comment about you and how shiny and nice your hair is, how you seem to make alex so happy and how heâs always smiling around you (he makes sure to let them know why is that), how lucky alex is to have you by his side, and so on and on and on until thereâs nothing more for him, until he canât think about the mean things people said, until you are laughing next to him and calling him obsessed and kissing him like your life depends on it.
â
â DANIEL RICCIARDO (3)
daniel chooses a catchy song and changes some of the lyrics, then sets his phone down and sits with a big smile and his guitar. when the video starts, he simply says âthis is dedicated to all of the assholes thinking that is okay to hate on someoneâs girlfriend just because.â and then he starts singing. there are a lot of bad words and cursing and long pauses looking directly into the camera without losing that big and pretty smile he has. daniel then uploads the video to all his platforms with a little paragraph about why bullying is bad and why you should mind your own business because heâs not that interesting anyway and it wonât make him break up with you because some trolls are practically begging him to. he ends up getting in trouble for not consulting with his team before doing what he did, something that has him going viral, so viral that people outside of formula one and people who donât even who he is talk about it. exactly what he wanted.
â
â MICK SCHUMACHER (47)
the moment mick has to hold you in his arms as you cry because youâd read something mean about you, itâs the exact moment he decides to do something about it. he doesnât want to cause drama or make things worse, so, it takes him a little while and some long calls with his sister to know what to do. mick puts the poetry classes you two take a few months ago to good use and writes the most beautiful and romantic poem you and everyone would ever read. it is about you, about his love for you, about what you mean to him and everything he likes about you. he posts a little phrase to his instagram stories and sets a time and day for when it will be posted it. when the day cames and you get to read it, you end up crying again but for a whole different reason. itâs not that you didnât know mick loved you but itâs the gesture, the time he spent doing it, the fact that he wanted to do it and wanted the whole world to read his love letter to you, something that will forever be there.
© VERSTAPPEN-CULT ⯠do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.
#ê°ê° đ â verstappen cult files ê±ê±#f1 grid x reader#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#max verstappen x reader#f1 x reader#charles leclerc fluff#max verstappen fluff#f1 fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#lando norris x reader#lando norris fluff#f1 imagine#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo blurb#alex albon x reader#mick schumacher x you#alex albon imagine#oscar piastri fanfic
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đ„- đž Mean Band!Rafe Who Loves Playing Rough <3
Ask from @mackenzie-maybank <3
Warnings - 18+ MDNI - Porn with No Plot, P in V, No Protection (Wrap it before you tap it people), Pussy Slapping + Face Slapping, Hair Pulling, Creampie, Praise, Degradation, Overstimulation, Fingering, Tiniest bit of Anal, Oral (fem + male receiving). Name calling (Whore, Dirty Bitch, Bitch, Babydoll, Angel, Good girl, Baby, Anal slut), Breeding kink - NOT PROOF READ.
Moodboard - Here đž
A/N - Uhm⊠I got a little distracted so đ enjoy
âShit, youâre such a whore.â
He grunted from above, using your hair as leverage. His hands had it done up in a makeshift ponytail. Forcing your face to smush against his abdomen. His soft grunts from above you while he shoved your head down on his thick cock. Youâd been at this for probably 10 minutes now? He went back and forth from pinching your nose shut too, making it hard to breathe.
He finally pulled out and slapped you across the face a few times. He snickered at the sight.
âFucking dirty bitch. Letting me treat you like a whore before I leave for my show- Betâchu fuckinâ love this. Câmon get upâ
He practically forced- pulling your hair to get you up. Not even giving you the option to speak before he threw you down on the bed.
âAss up babydoll, you know this.â
The man urged you into position, spiting down a glob of saliva, that ran from your pretty ass to that soaked cunt. He hummed at the sight, letting out what sounded like a little giggle. Only making you whine.
âSâokay Angel, youâll get what you want shortly.â
He whispered softly, spreading your pretty ass cheeks for him to see. A soft whistle being let out from behind you. Warm breath hitting your soaked cunt. The way you arched away from him. You were stunning-
What you werenât expecting though was a warm tongue to lick a stripe up your pretty pussy. A gasp leaving your lips. You could practically see the grin on his face. He pulled back and gave you a harsh slap to your clit before shoving two fingers in. Curling them downwards- it felt so good.
âRafe- Need you!â
He snickered at your pathetic whines.
âYou have me though, baby?â
Your hips bucked up at him with a desperate moan. His fingers filling you so good.
âYou know what I mean!â
âI suppose I do.â He murmured softly, pressing a kiss to your ass.
You felt the bed move behind you. His thick tip lining up with your entrance. His ringed hand had a grip on your ass. His other held his cock that he slowly pushed into you. A gasp left your lips at the sting. It always hurt, no matter how many times he fucked you. He was just so damn thick. It was embarrassing how wet you were, the way you squelched as he bottomed out in you. A soft groan leaving his lips.
âHear that? Dirty fuckinâ bitch.â
He grunted before pulling back so just the tip was in. Only before slamming back into you. Causing those pretty, soft hands to grip at the sheets. A broken gasp to leave your lips. He wanted to get his fill- or well, fill you. Before he left for his tour.
The way he pounded into you was heavenly. Every time his tip kissed your g-spot, causing more noises to leave your mouth. You felt a hand crawling up your back and shortly after it was tangled in your hair. He was so mean⊠jerking your head back, forcing your back to arch even more. Drool dribbled down your chin. Only causing the man behind you to let out a cold laugh. Two fingers quickly shoved in your mouth, hitting the back of your throat in the process. You gagged on his fingers and clenched on his cock.
âShit.. Thatâs a good lilâ girl.â
He grunted, he thrusts getting the tiniest bit sloppier. The man withdrew his fingers from your warm mouth and rubbed them along your tightest hole. Only making you clench around him at the feeling.
âFuck, you like that? I shouldâve known.â
He teased in that condescending tone before his thumb prodded at the hole.
âBet I could make you an anal slut, if you would let me.â
A snicker came from behind as he slowly pushed his thumb in, making those pretty gasps and moans leave your mouth. His other hand quickly came down to rub your sensitive clit. You were a mess and he loved every bit of it.
The way he rubbed your pretty clit with the perfect amount of pressure and speed, god he had you creaming over his cock in seconds. Feeling your walls tightening around him made him nearly bust. A guttural groan stuttering out. That thick thumb of his that was still hooked in your pretty little ass, starting to thrust into you softly.
His hips snapped against your ass, filling the room with sounds of pure sex. He kept up his ministrations- you were hastily approaching you second orgasm of the night while he was approaching his first. Rafe had a nasty habit of always overstimulating you. Whether it be on accident or on purpose. Who is he kidding?- itâs always on purpose. Especially when you clench around him so perfectly. His tip kissing your g-spot. Every. Single. Time.
Without warning he pulls his thumb out of your still tight ass and grabs onto your hips. Immediately pounding into you. Pulling his hand from your clit and shoving your face down into the mattress. You looked so pretty like this <3. Face smushed into the mattress, drool was pooling at the sheets, and your pretty eyes rolled back into your head as he relentlessly pounded into you.
âMâgonna knock you up, make you a fucking momma.â He grunted, pace getting sloppy.
âIâm g- on- birth control, you dumbassâ
Is what you would stutter and moan out. Only making Rafe yank your head back by your hair, slapping you across the face in the process.
âYeah? That what you think? Maybe I swapped your pillsâ
He teased into your neck, the slight hint of fear that flashed across your face was delicious. So was the way you clenched around him at the thought of carrying his baby. He wouldnât actually do that, he just liked to tease. The man kept up his brutal pace while biting and sucking harshly on your sensitive neck. Making sure to leave marks so everyone could know who was pounding that pretty pussy behind closed doors.
But Rafe wanted one more orgasm from you before he pumped you full and he always got what he wanted. His rough fingers rubbing soft circles on your sensitive bud. It wasnât long before your back was arching some more, loud moans bouncing off the walls. He wondered for a moment if you would sound this good on a mixtape. Maybe to play when he got bored? Just a thought of course, Angel.
âYeahh, thatâs it, be a good lilâ bitch and cum for me. Look so pretty when youâre losing your mind on my cock.â
Rafe snickered softly, watching you go dumb only made him want more, so he slowed his strokes. Which honestly didnât help, he just felt 10x bigger in your stomach. You clenching WASNâT helping him.
A few languid pumps later and Rafe was dumping his sticky load into you. Your pretty little mind fuzzy from the euphoric overstimulation he was causing you. He just felt so good rubbing against your walls. Your eyes were lidded as your body slumped.
âShit.â
He softly murmured as he pulled out. Immediately going to watch his cum leak out. That shit eating grin on his face before he shoved it back in. The way your legs trembled. Cunt soaked and creamy from a good fucking. Rafe bit his lip, eyes fluttering back softly. You were divine and you were his.
On second thought.. maybe he would swap your pills, or just throw them out. Not like you would care, you we were his, forever. But that could wait until he got back from his show!
@justafangirls-blog @mackenzie-maybank @starkeycore @rafescokewhore @rafeyscurtainbangs @drewstarkeys-world @rafesbabygirll @starkeygirlposts @shawtycoreee @rafesthroatbaby @bunnycrush @theeslutintheroom @spaghettimonsterjane @2tarbell @rafecameronsbunny @starkeysprincess @bunnyrafe @nemesyaaa @rafesangeldealer @starkeyvhs @rafesbee @rafesno1bae @wearemadeofstardust0
Tagged all my muts đđ»
#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#band!rafe#band!au#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron fanfiction#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe#dark rafe cameron#rafe cameron moodboard#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe x you#rafe smut#rafe fanfiction#rafe fic#rafe cameron imagine#rafe concepts#dark!rafe cameron#dark rafe x reader
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moodboard by @chennqingg | divider by @jiyascepter
Soothing Your Aches
Jotun!King!Loki x fem!Ăsir!Queen!Reader
Summary: Your caring husband is always there to soothe your aches - no matter when or where.
Warnings: protective!Loki, pregnancy stuff, nudity, bit of suggestive smut, fluuuff
Word Count: 1,7k
a/n: This lil' oneshot is based on an idea from @eleniblue ! I just had to write it, because it's so sweet! Also, I'm so sorry it took me sooo long to get this posted... Hope you like it nevertheless. đ„°
Ice Flower AU Masterlist â Loki Masterlist â Masterlist
"Have you seen the queen?" Loki addressed one of your personal guards, Ivan, as he was rushing down the corridor towards the throne room; emerald green cape flying behind him.
Ivan nodded. "Yes, my king. Your wife was searching for you. I told her you were out in the city." The king of Jotunheim nodded. "Where did she go?" "I saw her going into the direction of the royal chambers, your majesty."
Loki snorted, "I just came from there, Ivan. She isn't there." and gritted his teeth; feeling the anger - caused by his worry, rise within his body. The king just couldn't help himself. It was the fault of his instincts to protect what was his - like so often.
Loki took a deep breath; trying to control his temper. "You have one job, Ivan! Keeping an eye on the queen and her safe whenever I'm away is the only task you've been burdened with - and you fail." The king shook his head, while Ivan obediently lowered his head. "I apologise, my king, I-" The young Jotun tried to explain, but got immediately interrupted. "She is pregnant, for the Norns sake! This isn't just about my wife anymore!"
Ivan swallowed visibly; fear reflecting in his ruby eyes. Loki still tried to keep his anger at bay; knowing that this was the first mistake of your guard. He tried to have mercy.
"I-I know, y-your highness, b-but-" Ivan got interrupted once more. "You are dismissed for today. Now get out of my sight, before I change my mind."
The guard knew that this was his king showing forgiveness and mercy, so he bowed, "T-Thank you, m-my king." and quickly left.
Loki took another deep breath, before he decided to ask one of the maids about your whereabout.
"Tola," his deep voice caused the blond haired maid, who was currently cleaning his presence chamber, to jump slightly and shriek up. "King Loki! Apologies!" She curtsied. "You scared me a bit." Loki shook his head. "I should apologise. I didnât mean to scare you... Do you know where my wife is?" She nodded. "Sure, my king. Queen Y/N told me that she was going to take a bath in the royal bathing chamber. I offered my help, but she wished to be alone."
A relieved breath left the Jotun's lips. "Thank you." Tola curtsied once more. "Of course, your highness." With a curd nod, Loki turned on his heels and left again; his feet leading him straight towards the bathing chamber.
He could already smell the scent of your soaps and rich oils miles away. It caused him to smile.
Once he entered the bathing chamber, warm, wet air and slight steam welcomed him - alongside your beautiful voice humming an old Norse song.
It's been a long day for the king and all he wished now was to spend time with you and especially to take care of you, as well as the growing offspring within your womb.
Loki quickly started to undress, until he wore nothing more than his loin cloth. Sure, he could've joined you completely nude, but the king didn't wish to 'pressure you' into something. He wanted to take care of you - and if it would include making love, he wasn't going to complain. If not, Loki was more than alright with it.
Smiling, he rounded the corner to face the big pool you were in; leaning against the edge with your head tilted back and eyes closed. One hand held onto the edge, while the other was cupping your swollen belly; gently stroking the wet skin.
Loki watched you for a moment; admired the absolute stunning woman he had married.
"I hope you don't mind if I join you, my queen?"
Your eyes immediately flew open at your husband's words and you looked over; meeting his beautiful ruby eyes.
You smiled.
"No, of course not. In fact, it is highly appreciated. Please do join me, my king." Loki ran a hand through his now damp curls and proceeded to step inside the water and swim over to you.
You welcomed your husband with open arms, of course, given the fact that you hadn't seen him almost the whole day.
"Hello," you whispered against his lips; crossing your arms behind his neck. Loki smirked; wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you as close as your almost five-month-bump allowed. "Hello, Flower." The gap between the two of you quickly melted away, as your lips moulded perfectly against Loki's.
After exchanging several much needed kisses, Loki settled behind you against the quite comfortably built pool edge; pulling you back against his bare chest.
"How are you feeling today, love?" He asked in a gentle voice. His hands came to rest underneath your belly; supporting the weight of your bump. "Honestly?" You sighed. "It could be better. The muscles in my back hurt, just like my feet do. I have stomach cramps already the whole day and felt very dizzy this morning. That's why I decided to take a bath; hoping it would relax my muscles and ease the pain at least a bit."
Loki nuzzled the wet skin of your neck and pulled you even closer against him. "Apologies, Flower. I hate to see you in pain and struggling." Your husband's lips trailed a path of soft kisses from your shoulder up to the shell of your ear. You couldn't help but smile; feeling the butterflies within you running wild. Wild for this man.
"Can I do something for you, my queen? I wish to help." Your smile even widened. Loki was the best husband you could've wished for. "Especially since I am the one to blame for this..." You could practically hear the smirk and playfulness in his voice - and giggled. "Don't say this like we both didn't wish for it to happen." "Well... Point taken." A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest, before he breathed another kiss on the side of your neck.
"Now, how can I help, Flower?"
"Hmm..." You thought; being already way too lost and addicted to his touch. You barely saw him today, after all... "Perhaps a massage later? But for now, just hold me, please. I enjoy your warmth and touch-" You felt a nudge against your abdominal wall and bladder, causing you to smile. "Just like the twins," you completed your sentence.
Loki hummed behind you; thumbs starting to trace a pattern in the naked skin on the underside of your bump. "As you wish, my darling."
After the bath, Loki wrapped you up in a big, fluffy, warm towel, and even carried you back towards your shared chambers.
"There we are..." He said; gently kicking the door shut with his foot. You just smiled with your head tucked in the crook of his neck; inhaling his scent. Loki set you down on your spacious marital bed and pressed a sweet kiss on your lips, before he quickly crossed the room in order to tend to the fireplace. The fire was still burning. Loki just had to make sure it was enough to keep you warm.
"Are you warm enough, my queen?" You nodded; giving him a loving, but definitely drowsy smile. "Currently, yes. Now come here, please..." Loki smiled, "In a moment, Flower." and winked, before he vanished in the bathroom, in order to fetch the best massage oils in the whole kingdom. You received them from a healer on Asgard.
Your husband took the comfortable chair, which stood a bit offsides and actually served as an extra seating possibility in front of the fireplace and sat down beside your side of the bed. His free hand inched closer to your body, while he threw you a smouldering look.
"May I unwrap you, Flower? I heard you are in need of my hands." Mischievous, naughty scamp, you thought with a giggle. "Please do, dear husband."
Loki helped you to free your upper body of its confines, but made sure that your legs and feet were still covered in furs and keeping you warm.
"Turn on your side for me, my love." You did what he said; presenting him your bare back. It was a bit of an awkward angle, but there was no other way than this for a massage. You couldn't turn on your stomach - for obvious reasons.
"There we go." Loki squeezed some oil on his big palm, made sure to coat his other palm as well and then started to gently massage your uptight muscles. "Mhhh..." You sighed as he worked on a particular tight knot. The king chuckled lowly. "Your reaction tells me that I must be doing something right. Does it feel good?" You giggled; nodding. "It always feels good when you touch me, my king. No matter the situation." "Thank the Norns then that I enjoy touching you very much. No matter the situation." You could practically hear the smirk on his lips. "Win win situation, sweetheart."
After Loki massaged your sore and aching back, you felt way better and relaxed - but your husband wasn't finished yet.
"Would my lovely wife turn on her back again? I think there are cramps who need to be eased as well..." You smiled; following his instructions once more.
The king's eyes travelled from your face down the length of your upper body; lingering on your bump for a moment longer, before his ruby eyes returned to meet your Y/E/C ones.
"You are stunningly beautiful, my queen. Absolutely radiant. Perfect, for me." You couldn't stop your cheeks from redding at his words. "Thank you." Loki leaned over to kiss you lovingly, then began to gently rub the oil in the skin of your belly as well.
You never thought that it would feel this good, but it did - and the babies seemed to enjoy it as well. You could sense it. "They pretty much enjoy the touch of their father," you giggled; looking at Loki. He smiled; nodding amusingly. "I can positively feel it, yes." You giggled again. "Now shush, my queen. Rest and just enjoy," he teased you a bit. "Yes, my king." You took a deep breath and closed your eyes; trying to be calm. You were kinda surprised that it worked that well.
In fact it probably worked too good...
"I'm relieved to see that this seems to help you." Loki got no response. "Flower? Love?" Frowning, he lifted his head - only to see that you slept in. The king smiled; placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and made sure to tuck you properly in.
Tags: @eleniblue @muddyorbsblr @mochie85 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jaidenhawke @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @multifandom-worlds @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @huntedmusicgardenn @lokiforever @fictive-sl0th @lokisgoodgirl @smolvenger @hisredheadedgoddess28 @icytrickster17 @chennqingg @glitchquake @princess-ofthe-pages @crimson25 @elegantcheesecakecrown @buttercupcookies-blog @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic @herdetectivetheorist @loz-3 @brokenpoetliz @km-ffluv @stupidthoughtsinwriting @jennyggggrrr @lady-rose-moon @lovingchoices14 @salvinaa @irishhappiness @sheris532 @princessdragon23 @xxannyxx @kimanne723 @mandywholock1980 @the-holy-trinity-l @loki-laufeyson223 @vbecker10 @buttercupcookies-blog @comicalivy
#jotun!loki#jotun loki#jotun loki x reader#jotun loki x you#loki x reader#loki laufeyson#loki#loki x female reader#loki x you#loki fanfiction#tom hiddleston x reader#loki fluff#loki x y/n#loki laufeyson x reader
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it's golden (like daylight)
đđąđđđđđđ: Winter is coming, bringing loneliness and shorter days. But Joel still finds he values the daylight (and you) through it all.
đ đđđ đđđđđ: 13.6k
đ đđđđđđđ: Afab!reader w she/her pronouns (but no physical descriptions), fluff, slow burn, pining!Joel, Jackson!Joel, post-outbreak, soft!joel, swearing, some physical violence (not against reader), age gap or no age gap- you decide!, POV switching, alcohol consumption, SMUT (18+ MDNI), oral (f receiving), praise kink, Joel talks you through it, p in v sex, apocalypse BC method (pulling out), aftercare. Happy ending! (Moodboard for vibes and vibes only)
đ°/đœ: Well, here it is! The full-on, real deal. If you think this is familiar, it's because I originally posted parts 1 & 2 on my other blog, @queeneamidala but this is my new, improved, and SOLELY writing blog. I'm so excited to share the full thing with you guys. This is my first full length, finished fic in so so long. I would love any and all feedback- comments, likes, reblogs, you name it! Anyway, can't wait to share this lil journey with ya'll. Hope you enjoy <3
Read here on AO3 !
Joel was eating idly in the cafeteria when he heard Ellieâs voice. He glanced back, and noticed her talking to a woman he had seen around the town of Jackson. She was a friend of Tommy and Mariaâs, he knew that much. Hell, a friend to everyone in town but him, it seemed. Granted, he hadnât spoken a word to her, or opened the door to conversation in the first place. Some would say it was out of shyness or fear, but really, he just felt unworthy of her attention.Â
She was beautiful, but that was just a general observation.Â
You were beautiful, and he had come to this conclusion several times while passing you by in town. He had noticed you speaking to nearly every person in town. You had a very easy-going air about you, friendly. Open.Â
So, he steered clear. Forming personal connections outside of immediate family was not something he was keen on. He has had a life fraught with grief, seen and done unspeakable things. He wasnât meant to be loved, not after everything heâs done.
But the way you talked to Tommy, and now Ellie more and more often had Joel at an uncomfortably close proximity to you. Your presence was drawing near, and he couldnât do anything to stop it.
He sort of didnât want to stop it.
But, just when he thought you were going to approach the table to sit, you broke away from Ellie and walked to a different table. He felt something drop in his chest. Was that really, really disappointment that he felt?
âMakinâ friends?â Joel questioned as Ellie sat down, and she snorted.
âWhy? Jealous?â She said with a smirk, and Joel cocked up an eyebrow.Â
âYou could use a friend.â Ellie added, and Joel shifted a bit uncomfortably.
âI donât need anyone.â He said into his food, and Ellie made a face, rolling her eyes.
âEverybody needs at least someone.âÂ
Joelâs eyes shifted to you sitting at the table just across from them. Your smile was radiant, and he felt something twist in his chest.
No
He wasnât meant to be loved.
~*~*~
Winter was coming, and the people in town were preparing. You were busy but still managed to make time for people. For everyone, really. Joel was almost envious about how easy you talked to people. He didnât have the same talent, but he was fine with that.
So, one day, when he was called upon a house to help with some faulty wiring, he was taken aback when it was your house he was called to.
You didnât need help. Not really. You were fairly self sufficient, and made your own way through town. Joel knew this, and it made him nervous when you called upon him specifically to make sure you were prepared for the wintertime.Â
But, he took his toolkit and went to your place. The door was open, butâŠ
You werenât home.
He felt disappointment in his chest again. He shook it off though and walked to the side of the house outside. He opened the box and began to work diligently, his mind wandering to other things. But he tried to fight off the thoughts of you and how disappointed he felt when he found out you werenât home. However, they just kept coming around again, and again, and again.
âYou look so serious.â A voice said, and Joel jerked back like he had been electrocuted. His head swiveled to the side and he saw you standing there, leaning against the side of the house with your arms crossed. You looked so effortless and cool, and-
How long had you been standing there?
âJobâs gotta get done.â Joel said, gesturing to the box, âas you requested.â
You nodded, and a smile creeped into your face that he hadnât seen before. He had seen you smile plenty of times- laughing and talking with the people in town, with Maria, with Ellie. But this felt different. Or was he just imagining it?
âYeah, you came highly recommended.â You said, and Joel scoffed, turning back to the box and tried to get back to work. But, he was horrible at multitasking, especially when it came down to you distracting him by your presence alone.
âDonât sell yourself short. Ellie was insistent that you were the best the town had.â You said, and Joel lost his concentration and nearly dropped the screwdriver he held.
Christ, Iâm gonna kill that girl.Â
He furrowed his brow like nothing happened and kept working. He was definitely going to talk to Ellie later. The last thing he needed was the whole town to be depending on him for maintenance.
But for youâŠ? Well, it wasnât so bad.
âSorry I wasnât there to receive you. Work held me up.â You said, gesturing behind you. Joel finally flicked a switch and the box buzzed to life. He felt himself deflate a bit. Guess it was time for him to go.
âNo worries.â He said, putting his tools back in the toolbox and stood straight. He held the box in hand, and regarded you with soft brown eyes. You pushed off the corner of the house, and smiled that bright smile of yours.
âYou⊠let me know if thereâs- if thereâs anythinâ else.â Joel said, trying to keep it drawn out but it sounded rushed to his ears. He nodded minutely and you stepped out of the way.
âThank you. It means more to me than you know.â You said, and shifted, your shoulders brushing by accident. Joel simply nodded, and made his way home.
He rubbed his arm after a few minutes of walking, trying to savor the warmth blooming under his skin.
~*~*~
Tommy and Joel were sitting at The Tipsy Bison, talking over a few drinks.
You had requested Joelâs help two more times now. Both small and trivial, but Joel was more than happy to help. You werenât there the second time he came, but when he was there the third time, you offered him coffee. He was an idiot, and turned you down. But, that smile never wavered.
âNext time.â You said.Â
Next time, Joel thought. There was going to be a next time? He hoped so.
âI see youâre helping some people out. Good for you to get some socializing in.â Tommy noted after taking a sip of his drink. Joel shrugged,
âItâs fine, I guess. Just doinâ my part.â He said. Tommy nodded, and regarded his brother with a peculiar expression. Joel felt like he was plotting something, but didnât have time to really think about it before a voice pulled him from his thoughts.Â
âWell, you two look like youâre having fun. Mind if we cut in?â Maria questioned, and Joel barely looked up, until it registered in his mind.
We?
You settled into the seat beside Joel while Maria took the one by Tommy, boxing the boys in. Joel instinctively stiffened, and hoped you didnât notice. If you did, you didnât show it.
âWhat are we drinking tonight, boys?â You questioned, and Joel glanced at you. He cleared his throat, looking down, and held up his glass slightly.
âWhatever theyâre trying to pass off as whsikey.â He said, and you looked at him. He felt like a deer in the headlights, watching you look at him. It felt like time was suspended, and he gulped. But, you smiled like it was nothing and turned to the bartender.
âIâll have what heâs having.â You said, jutting your thumb at Joel. The bartender slid the glass into your hand with ease. Joel thought everything you did was effortless. You certainly made it seem so.
It dawned on him that Tommy and Maria were knee-deep in their own conversation, promptly blocking off you two. It felt intentional, causing Joel to be put on the spot, under your eye.
âThanks for all your help by the way.â You said, taking a sip of the amber liquid. Joel nodded, his brown eyes casting down to his glass.
âAnytime.â He said with a dismissive wave of his hand. It wasnât lost on you that Joel was slowly becoming a bigger part of the community. He wasnât just keeping to himself, but helping others with house repairs or such. You hadn't seen him offer such services until you had reached out to him.Â
But, he didnât do it for them. He knew that deep down inside.Â
He did it for you.
âI gotta say, Mr. Miller, youâre an enigma.â You said with a light laugh. Joelâs eyebrows furrowed, and felt his stomach lurched at you saying his name, even if it was his last name. âYou know; a mystery, something hard to explain.â
âI ainât no mystery.â He said, shaking his head. You grinned, and tilted your head to the side. Joel felt his mouth go dry, so he took a sip of his drink to quell it.
âOkay, okay.â You said, shrugging and turned your gaze across the bar. He felt your elbows becoming achingly close. If he just shifted just slightly, he could feel you against him.Â
âMind if I stop by tomorrow?â You said so abruptly that it threw his thoughts off.
âSorry?â
âI got Ellie a new book. Something about space and aliens and shit. Something I think sheâd like.â You said. Joel felt a twinge of appreciation there. So, somebody was looking after Ellie besides him. He liked that. It warmed his hardened heart.Â
âSure. You can drop it off.â He said, and he stole a glance your way. You were grinning, but trying to hide it. You took a sip of your beer to try to mask it, but he could see the way the corners of your lips quirked up.Â
âIâll be there then.â
~*~*~
Joel had waited for you for a day or two. He found reasons to stay home, claiming he wasnât feeling well, that he was sick. So, when you finally knocked on his door towards the end of the second day, he was surprised to find you holding a dish in your hand as well as the book.
âHeard you werenât feeling well. Made you a little something.â You said so casually. But, Joel was floored. You heard about him, and went out of your way to do something for him?
He felt bad for faking his illness. But, the fact you did this? It flooded his chest with gratitude, and an ache that he hadnât felt in a long, long time.
âThank you.â He said, and went to take it but then paused. You laughed,
âI donât care about getting sick. Here.â You said, and handed him the dish, barely crossing over the threshold. He took it gingerly, and looked down at it. Whatever it was, it looked damn good.
âDo you⊠would ya want to come in?â He offered. You suddenly beamed, and god, if that wasnât a sight to see. Joel thought there wouldnât be anything better in the world.
âSure.â You responded, and Joel moved to let you inside. As you passed, he could smell your soap, or personal scent- whatever it was, he felt lightheaded in the best way. He closed the door and walked to the kitchen, you following him along.
âI also have the book. Hope Ellieâs not too mad it took me so long.â You laughed and set the book on the kitchen table. Joel walked to the other side, setting down the dish.
ââM sure she wonât mind.â He said, and his eyes shifted to you. You and all your beauty, your kindness, the way your eyes smiled even while you were sharing a passive look.
âDo you want some coffee?â He questioned, and there he went, sounding rushed again. He just wanted you to stay, to share you sunlight with him just a bit longer. You had a knowing smile, and nodded gently.
âYeah. Iâd like that.â When you agreed to it, he got busy. He nearly knocked off the mugs off the counter trying to prepare everything. You sat at the table, and glanced down at the book. Joel looked back to see your attention on something else other than him, and felt a little more at ease.
âI got a patrol coming up.â You said, and Joel poured the dark liquid into one of the faded mugs. He turned and carried it to you at the table, sitting across from you.
âOh yeah?â
âYeah. They switched up my partner, though. Hannah isnât feeling well, so they put me with someone else.â You said, and he could see for the first time something else in your expression- anxiety. Fear.Â
He didnât like it, to see you facing such emotions. He wished he could wrap them all up and throw them away. Whatever it took to see your smile again.
âWhoâya going with?â
âJim Harris.â You replied with a nod, and Joel sat up a bit straighter. He didnât like Jim, he always came off as loud and imposing. He didnât have the best reputation when it came to women, either. He was rude and disrespectful, and there had been some complaints about harassment made against him.Â
âI see.â He said. Why did anyone assign you with Jim Harris, of all people? They knew of his ways and his complaints. The last thing they needed was to put him with you, all while alone.Â
No, he wouldnât stand for that.
âIâll get âem to switch things around. Iâll go with you.â He said, and nodded with finality. You looked at him, a bit surprised if not shocked.Â
âOh. You really donât have to-â But he waved you off.
âI can get some strings pulled so you wonât have to deal with him. Besides, I just⊠I canât stand someone like him being near y-â but he paused, and tried to recover before he could say something stupid. â It ainât right.â He settled, his fingers gripping the coffee mug a bit tighter at the thought of Jim laying even a finger on you. You looked at Joel, the shock really settling in now. Joel was unaware of the gravity of his words in the moment, something he would regret later. Not that he said them, but that he hadnât said more.Â
â⊠Thank you.â You said quietly. Joel looked at you, and felt his chest bloom with warmth. Your words, though short and few, were filled with gratitude and relief that didnât go unnoticed by Joel.Â
âAnything you need, darlinâ.â He said, the name rolling off his lips before he could stop himself. You smiled, and Joel would have given you the moon right then and there if you asked.
He cleared his throat as if it would clear the air, and he visibly relaxed. Knowing you would be under his care and away from Jim Harrisâ whole being made him feel better. He wasnât sure why, but he felt a strong need to be by your side when the time for patrol comes. It just felt right that he would be there to protect you.
âA true southern gentleman.â You mused as you took a sip of your coffee. Joelâs face flushed, and he averted his gaze, and began to speak but you cut him off.
âI like it.âÂ
Joel felt the ghost of a smile on his lips, and he glanced at you, shrugging.
âOld habits die hard, I guess.â He said, and rubbed the back of his neck. He could feel his hair curling under his fingertips as he did so. He needed a haircut, and sorely.
But, the town was lacking a barber, so he figured he would do it himself one of these days.Â
âA good habit to have.â You said, and he chuckled.
âWhatever you say, da-â but he quickly cut himself off and hurriedly spoke your name instead. You smiled, regardless of what he called you. He found he liked saying your name. It felt personal, more grounded to reality. He was having a hard time grappling with reality ever since you crossed the threshold of his home. He couldnât believe you were here, in his kitchen, drinking his coffee. He wanted this moment to last as long as time would allow- he would commit it to memory. Every word, every glance, every piece.Â
He found he did that often with you- just taking in any bit of you you had to offer, when he was feeling brave enough.Â
âI gotta get back.â You said, and stood up, rubbing your hands together to conserve the warmth of the coffee mug. Joel stood up, and nodded hurriedly, though he already felt the air grow cold in the absence of your presence.
âOf course. Iâll⊠Iâll walk you out.â He said, and stood up as well. He walked with you to the door at a snailâs pace, and you talked about your work for the rest of the day. The walk was all too short, and Joelâs hand rested on the doorknob. He looked at you, his brown eyes taking you in before he released you back to the world.Â
âTake it easy. Iâll see you on patrol. Okay?â He said, and you gave him that gut wrenching smile. Could have brought him to his knees if you so desired.
âSounds good, Joel.â You said, and he opened the door, the chill coming in as you wrapped your jacket tighter around yourself. You smiled and gave him the lightest wave, and headed out into the cold Wyoming winter.
He watched you go, and his name still hung in the air. Despite the door being open, the cold sweeping in, he felt warm.Â
Oh, he was such a goner.
~*~*~
Joel trudged to the outer part of town, gun slung over his shoulder. He promised he would meet you at the edge, where they traded out patrols. He had been busy with other things that day, and felt horrible that he couldnât walk with you. But, he knew that a few hours alone with you would make up for that.Â
At least, thatâs what he hoped.
He came up and saw Tommy standing with a few others, talking indistinctly. When Joel approached, Tommy and the others turned. As they did, the group opened up and he could see you standing on the far side. Your face quite literally beamed up when you saw him.Â
âReady for another shift?â Tommy chuckled as Joel came up closer. âYouâll have to show the new girl all the ropes.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, but your smile was still evident on your face. Joel nodded, and he couldnât help it as his lips quirked up on the ends when he met your eyes. This wasnât lost on you, or Tommy for that matter. No one had seen Joel so much as literally turn his frown upside down, not even in the slightest. So, this was an interesting event for all involved.
âWell, no time like the present.â Joel said, and nodded forward. You bid goodbye to the others and walked with Joel across the town lines into the woods. He could sense your unease, and he glanced down to see a pistol on your hip.
âYou know how to use that?â He questioned. You looked over at Joel and followed his gaze to the gun at your side, and then looked forward quickly.
âUnfortunately, yes.â You said. Joel frowned, but said nothing.Â
As you two reached the outpost where youâd be staying, Joel let you climb up the ladder first. He followed shortly after, his head swiveling around for any signs of life that werenât supposed to be there. When he was safely inside, he closed the makeshift door and sat down next to you.
It was cold inside. Almost bitterly so. Joel was fine, having his heavy jacket and several layers. He had done this before, so he came prepared, especially in the colder months.
You, on the other hand, were miserable. Not expecting it to be *this* cold, you were wholly unprepared for the coldness that seeped into the wooden outpost about 12 feet off the ground. You sat on the chair and crossed your legs to conserve warmth, shoving your hands between your thighs to keep them from freezing.Â
Yeah, this was gonna be a long shift.Â
Joel, ever vigilant, noticed that you were shifting uneasily. But, his thoughts ran elsewhere besides the cold. Were you afraid of him? Was this awkward? Did he make a mistake taking over Jimâs shift with you? Was this overstepping some invisible boundary?
But then, you spoke,
âCanât believe itâs this fucking cold.âÂ
Your voice trembled a bit, and he watched you closely. His eyes softened a bit, and he took in your form. Yeah, you werenât nearly as bulked up with layers as him. He set his gun down on the floor, leaning it against the window sill. You looked over at him, and it dawned on you very quickly about what he was about to do.
âJoel, donât-â
âCanât have you freezinâ on me, sweetheart. Wonât do much good if youâre an icicle.â He said, and shed his large jacket. Before he knew what he was doing, he stood and draped it over your shoulders. You sat still as he did so, and the warmth flooded you almost immediately. He sat back down, and your face was flushed with red. You cleared your throat, looking down at your hands.
âThanks.â You said quietly. Joel nodded, like it was something heâd done a million times. He shifted his gaze back to the landscape that sprawled out in front of you.
You sat in a comfortable silence, and you eventually threaded your arms through Joelâs jacket. It smelled of cedar and musk, and you had always wondered what he smelled like. It felt as though he were enveloping you in a warm hug. You wondered if he ever did that sort of thing.
âWhen did you come here?â Joel questioned after a few minutes. You were surprised at his initiation of the conversation, but certainly not mad about it.Â
âAbout 8 months ago. Came from a QZ in Georgia after it fell apart.â You replied. Joel looked over at you, and you continued to look out of the outpost.
âEscaped with a group of good people. We tried to find someplace else, someplace safe. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. Lead them to safety, after my husband died.â You explained, and Joelâs chest twisted. He had never noticed a ring on your finger, but he could see a faded outline of where one used to be.
âBut, keeping everyone together was hard. Death followed us everywhere- Clickers, disease, bad food, water. The world seemed to pick us off one by one.â Joel shifted his gaze to outside. He could tell you hadnât spoken about this often, and he could sense a tremor in your voice.Â
âEventually it was just me, wandering the woods. I felt hopeless, without purpose. I began to go kind of⊠well, insane. I donât know how long I was out there til Tommy found me. Took me straight to the infirmary where they had to basically take care of me until I was able to be on my own two feet.â You said, and looked down, your hands clasped tightly together so much your knuckles turned white. Joel was stoic, unmoving, but his presence felt comforting. You didnât know why you felt so comfortable with him, so you didnât stop from going on.
âIâve done some⊠terrible things. Iâve- seen so much⊠death. Coming here, it was a saving grace. I wouldnât have been able to live with myself much longer had they not found me.â You said. Joelâs heart dropped at this revelation, his eyes were soft with empathy. He knew all about hopelessness, about wanting to give up. About not having anything or anyone to live for. His finger traced the scar on his temple lightly before quickly dropping his hand in his lap.Â
Had Ellie not come into his life, he would have taken the easy route out, and not missed that time. But, he just hated that you felt like you had to do the same. That wasnât fair. You didnât deserve to feel like that, not with how caring and kind you were. Not with how you literally made peopleâs days light up at the sound of your laugh or your smile.
It just wasnât fair, this world you both lived in.
âI feel like I try to do good things to make up for all the bad Iâve done.â You added, though your voice was so small and quiet. Joel knew that feeling all too well.
âIâm sorry.â Joel could only say, and you looked at him to already see his eyes on you. You smile, but this one was sad, weak. You shrugged, and sighed deeply,
âItâs life, isnât it? Itâs never easy. But, the small things make it better. Good people, especially.â Joel noticed how your smile deepened a bit, and he could see that glint in your eyes. He nodded, and couldnât imagine you would rope him into the âgood peopleâ category. But, he also saw your face, and how you looked at him, that maybe you did.Â
And it made him feel⊠nice.Â
âYeah, the good ones. Few and far between. But, they exist.â He said, his eyes looking between your own.Â
âI think thereâs good people here.â You said, nodding forward. âYouâre good people.â
And Joel, without knowing it, smiled. It wasnât grand, it wasnât teeth-showing, but it was a smile. One that betrayed him immensely, but he couldnât stop it now. Even though he disagreed, he couldnât voice it. Not to you. He couldnât go against anything you said, it would feel like a personal crime.
âSo are you. I hope you know that.â He said, and reached out to take your icy hand within his own. You looked at him, studying his face as you gripped his hand back.Â
And to Joel, the world just got a little bit brighter.
~*~*~
âWhere are you going?â Joel said as he sat on the couch in the living room, feet propped up on the coffee table. Ellie stalked past him to the door, and looked over her shoulder, her lips pressed into a thin line.
âOut.â She said, and stormed through the door. Joel sighed. Teenagers.
He sat, listening to the crackly turntable in the corner. It played an old jazz record he borrowed from the library. Not his true cup of tea, but it was better than nothing. He needed to trade some other old ones in for new ones, but he had listened to the whole library by now.
He felt at ease for once. He played the time spent with you on patrol over and over. After your conversation, you spoke of happier, better things. Old baseball legends, old music, basically a throwback of pop culture before the world went to shit. You told him a funny story about your job that actually drew a true chuckle from him. He just felt⊠better around you. Your easy going demeanor and openness was enough to make him want to share with you. Share smiles, laughter, time together.Â
And god, he loved all three when it came to you.
The record clicked to signal its ending, and he stood up, walking over to turn it over. Just as he put the needle down, there was a knock at the door.Â
He walked to the door and opened it, seeing you standing there before him, looking chilled to the bone. He gestured for you to come inside quickly, and you shuffled in, huffing into your hands.
âWhat the hell ya doinâ out there in the cold for?â He said sternly, more concerned than upset, eyebrows furrowing. You shrugged, crossing your arms.
âWanted to see you.â You said, and his jaw clamped shut.
Well. Okay.
He stood, like an idiot, in silence for a moment, before nodding minutely.Â
âMake yourself at home. Iâll make coffee.â He said, and hurried to the kitchen. Even though it was nearly 7 in the evening, he needed time to process what you said, and that you were here to see him.Â
You felt more warmth in Joelâs house than your own, and shed your boots and jacket, hung up the latter and walked to the couch. Sitting down, you tucked your feet under you to make them warm again. You looked around, trying to find the source of the music that was playing. You saw the record player in the corner, and smiled fondly. Of course Joel was a music guy, it just made sense.Â
He walked back to the living room with two cups of steaming coffee, and walked to the couch. He sat down on the far side, giving you space, but leaned over to hand you the mug.Â
âGot somethinâ on your mind?â He questioned as he took a sip. You took a hefty gulp and felt the warmth move down your throat and into your stomach. You were beginning to feel again, from your head to your toes. You felt less like an ice cube and more like a human, now.
âJust⊠wanted to see how you were doing. Been busy these last couple of days, I feel like Iâve neglected my friends.â She said with a light laugh. Joelâs eyebrows shot straight up, and he smiled small. Joel didnât have friends. He had family. But, he would make an exception for you.
Maybe one day, youâd be family, too.Â
He liked the idea of that.
âEllie tells me youâve been working like crazy, too. People are starting to like you. You better watch out, cause the ladies already fawn over you as is.â You laughed, and Joel regarded you with an unconvinced expression. He didnât think anyone noticed him, let alone âfawnâ over him. He just did his work, day in and day out. He was unaware of the âextra attentionâ he was drawing from the female crowd.
He didnât see them, because he only saw you.
âNever noticed them. Didnât think anybody noticed me.â He said simply, taking a sip of coffee. You shook your head, and smiled into your coffee.
âI noticed you. Always have.â You said, and Joelâs eyes shifted to you as you sat across from him on the couch. He found himself getting closer and closer to you. Not physically, but emotionally. The comfort level was at a steady pace. He wanted to be sitting closer to you, to feel your body heat and drink in your comforting presence.Â
âWell, itâs hard not to notice you, darlinâ.â He said. You blushed, and hid your face in your mug as you took a sip.
Joel was a man of few words. He was never good at them, never entirely graceful or eloquent. But now, he wished he was. He wanted to tell you how he felt, how much he cared, how much he really liked you.
But, he just didnât know how.Â
And he hated himself for that.
âWhat are you listening to?â You teased after a few minutes of silence, a saxophone filling the air. Joel wracked his brain to figure out who the artist was.Â
âLouis Armstrong, I think. Jazz is the last genre I havenât listened to at the library.â He said. You raised her eyebrows, then knitting together. And then, you laughed.Â
âNever would have pegged you for a jazzy guy.â You said, and began to laugh. âCountry, maybe. But- but smooth jazz? God.â You covered your face to keep the laughing tears from escaping you as your body shook with giggles.
Normally, Joel would frown upon someone laughing at him. But, it was you. He was making you happy, making you laugh-Â
Now that. That was true music.Â
âYeah, well,â He chuckled, shaking his head. âIâm full of surprises.â
âYes, yes you are, Joel Miller.â You said, lowering your hand and looking over at him. He looked down at his mug, his pinky finger tapping against the edge lightly.
He wanted to find a reason for you to say his name again. And maybe again. He just wanted to hear you speak about anything under the sun, that would be enough for him.Â
âTell you what, Joel,â you said, and shifted on the couch to face him, leaning your elbow along the back of the couch. He shifted as well, turning his body a little towards yours. âYou tell me a story, and Iâll tell you a story.â
âA story?â
âYeah, fictional or true. I donât care- I justâŠâ you said, and silence followed. Joel waited patiently for you to finish. His heart was hammering in his chest, but on the outside he was calm and collected.Â
You shrugged, and looked at him with a light smile. You didnât have to say it. Joel knew. You knew. You just liked each otherâs company, you liked the sound of each otherâs voices. And it was becoming more and more apparent to the both of you.
âAlright.â Joel agreed, and your soft smile turned into a grin. He took a sip of coffee, and thought for a moment.
âI got one for ya. Not real, but a good story. Ever heard of the movie Smokey and the Bandit?â
âNo.â You laughed.Â
âGood. âCause Iâm gonna tell ya all about it.â
~*~*~
The minutes turned to hours that night. You left sometime around midnight. And then you were back two days later, and the conversation struck up again. It turned into you two alternating between each otherâs houses. Patrols got more frequent for you, and Joel was insistent that he go with you, not anyone else.Â
Joel continued helping around the town, fixing broken things but keeping to himself when he wasnât with you, Ellie, or Tommy. Ellie was making friends, and would visit them often, leaving him alone most evenings.Â
But there was you, there to fill his time and capture his attention.
You were sitting in Joelâs living room one evening, the fire crackling in the fireplace to offer more warmth. You sat next to Joel, closer than ever before, your coffees already consumed and empty mugs sitting on the coffee table.Â
Joelâs arm was slung across the back of the sofa instinctively, and you enjoyed the close proximity. Your knee brushed his every so often, leaving you both wanting more. But, things like this take time, and Joel was a gentleman. He wouldnât press anything, too afraid to mess up whatever relationship was forming between you.
âJim Harris approached me the other day.â You said, and Joelâs hand clenched at his side. Ever since he took over patrols with you, it seemed Jim was trying to find ways to confront you, but not Joel. Joel wondered why, as he was the one to change things up when it came to patrols. He guessed Jim thought you were an easier target.Â
âHe wanted to talk. I was in the middle of running food to Mrs. Marchâs house, sheâs got a sick kid. I waved him off, but it still felt⊠weird.â You said and sighed, rubbing your forehead in thought.
âOther people have been acting weird lately, too. They ask about you a lot.â You added, and Joel looked towards the fireplace. While no one outwardly approached him, he could sense some of the womenfolk asking him to come around more often. Simple, almost dumb fixes. Some of them looked like self sabotage, and he was beginning to get his suspicions. He may be old, and sometimes oblivious, but it was getting more apparent that he was being eyed by several of the single (and sometimes even married) women in town.
Joel had seen the occasional man talk to you. They often leaned in to you as they did, or leaned against a wall or building post, trying to come off as cool or suave. You always smiled and talked cordially, not wanting to make any enemies. Some of them made you laugh, and that definitely didnât make Joel feel jealous.
âDo I need to give a good talkinâ to to anyone?â Joel questioned, and you laughed, shaking your head.
âI think that would make things worse than better. But, I appreciate it all the same.â You said, your hand patting his knee. He glanced down, and your hand lingered for just a second longer than he anticipated, before you drew it away and back into your lap.Â
âYou know Iâd do anything for ya. Iâm not above roughing up somebody, so long as they leave you alone after.â He said, looking down to his lap, and you smiled lightly. You looked at him, and your faces were close. Closer than they had ever been before. Joel could feel the softness of your breath against his skin, and he felt his heart thrumming in his chest.Â
He could feel the tension in the air, and could feel your gaze on him. He wondered what you were thinking, and raised his eyes to meet yours.
You had never seen brown eyes so dark, so beautiful, soâŠ
The door was then wrestled open, and Ellie walked inside. She made a face at seeing you and Joel so close, but closed the door behind her. You wanted to move, but you felt Joelâs hand touch your shoulder lightly, subtly inviting you to stay.
âTommyâs asking around for you.â Ellie said, kicking off her shoes and it made Joel flinch. He sighed, and his arm swung from your shoulders. He stood up, his knees cracking slightly, and silently cursed his older age for catching up with him.
âWhatâd I tell you about the shoes?â Joel said firmly to Ellie, who rolled her eyes and picked them up, setting them by the door and made an âokay?â gesture. Joel looked over at you, who stood up and grabbed the coffee mugs.
âDuty calls.â You said, and smiled lightly as you carried the mugs to the kitchen. Joel sighed, and walked to the front door, pulling on his jacket and boots. You came out quickly after, and Ellie plopped down on the couch where you two had been sitting, picking up her book from the far side table. You looked as you passed, and tilted your head to the side.
âCity of Ember? Whatâs that?â You questioned, and Ellie sat up, her eyes lighting up, and she grinned.
âOne of the coolest books ever. Itâs about a civilization underground, andâŠâ she began rambling about it, and opened the book to show you the chapter she was on. You smiled, and looked at Joel.
âIâll catch up with you later.â You said, and Joel couldnât help but soften at the event unfolding before him. You walked over to the couch and sat next to Ellie, and she eagerly told you about the book. Joel held the doorknob, and just watched for a moment.Â
It was at times like these that he felt like the future was a little bit brighter for him.
~*~*~
âYouâre going soft, old man.â Tommy joked at the bar one night. The snow had come and blanketed the town with white, and there was talk of Christmas celebrations. The town was much more merry than Joel had ever seen it. Or maybe, Joel was just feeling⊠well, maybe he was feeling a little bit of everything. Everything seemed brighter and warmer, even despite the cold weather.
Joel said nothing to Tommyâs remark. He kept quiet, his eyes always finding their way back to the doors of the bar. He was waiting, hoping, wanting.
And when you walked in, he felt his chest loosen for the first time that day. Tommy followed Joelâs gaze, and then back to his brother.
Suddenly, all the talk around town made sense. Tommy had his questions, but he knew his brother wouldnât give them willingly. Joel never confided in anyone. Except, it seemed, you.Â
The talk of the town was that you guys were screwing. Only because you two were alone quite a lot. And at night, for that matter. People talk, itâs a small town, and people get jealous. Rumors swirl, and things are said. Joel had been picking up the pieces, but tried to be the bigger person. It wasnât anybodyâs business as to what you two were behind closed doors.
But, instead of making your way to the bar where Joel sat, a form stepped in your way.Â
âJim.â You greeted, and could smell the alcohol on his breath, as he was that close to you.
âBeen trying to catch you at a good time.â Jim said, and you feigned a disgusted look. You, like much of the other women in town, did not like Jim.Â
âWell, nowâs still not-â
âCome on, just give me a second. If you can make time for that ancient asshole over there, then you can make time for me.â He said with a cocky air to him, and you tried to step around him, but he stepped with you.
Joelâs fist tightened at his side, and he pushed his beer to the side, beginning to rise. He felt a protective air come over him, nostrils flaring and jaw clenching. Tommy clapped a hand on Joelâs arm,
âHeâs just drunk, Joel. She can handle hers-â but Joel ripped his arm away and began to weave his way through the patrons to where you and Jim stood, and Tommy shook his head.
âChrist.â Tommy muttered, and dragged a hand down his face. He knew better than to sway Joel after he set his mind on something.
And he certainly couldnât stop him when it came to protecting you.
â⊠he can share. Iâd like to have a round with you, show you how a real man can treat you-â Jim said, but Joel rounded on him quickly.
âWhat did you say?â Joel hissed, staring daggers into Jimâs back. Jim swiveled to face Joel, and Joel could see him sway a bit. Drunk or not, he had no right to speak to you that way.
âFuck off, Miller. You can have her back when Iâm through-â
At that, Joel had enough. He swung wide, his fist collided with Jimâs face with a sickening crunch. The crowd reacted with scattered gasps and flinches. Jim was down with one blow, and fell to the floor, his nose beginning to bleed.
âJesus Christ, Miller! YouâŠâ He cried, and held his nose with a shaky hand. Joel bent down, and grabbed him by the collar.
âYou keep your mouth shut around her, you understand? Or Iâll cut out your tongue and feed it to your fuckinâ dog.â He said, and raised his hand to give him another blow but a hand grabbed his arm. He was about to jerk away, thinking it was Tommy, but-
âJoel. Stop.â
Your commanding voice hung in the air, and Joel froze. He let go of Jim after a few tense seconds, and Jim fell back onto the floor. Standing straight, your hand eased up on his arm and he felt his breathing begin to even out. You still held onto him, and pulled at his sleeve to get him to walk away. He followed dutifully, and exited the bar with you while others watched apprehensively.Â
âWhy did you do that?âÂ
âI-â
âJoel. Thatâs not-â
âHe was just so, so disgusting, and I couldnât-â
You and Joel stood outside of the bar, the conversation tense following the events from inside. Joelâs hand continued to shake at his side, both from adrenaline and a dull throbbing pain, his ears still slightly ringing.
âHe said⊠awful things. I couldnât let him get away with that.â Joel said, and your eyes softened. You picked up his hand that he had knocked Jim with, and you could already see the redness forming there. Joel sucked in a breath quickly, and your eyes met his for a moment, thinking he was in pain. But, he was feeling something far from pain. Far, far from it.
âPeople have been talking.â You said, and Joel frowned.Â
âTheyâve been saying, er⊠that we have a rather intimate relationship.â You explained, and Joel gulped. While he would want that more than anything, laying accusations of that nature about you was enough to infuriate him. You held his hand within your own, and shook your head.
âBut, It doesnât matter. I donât care what they say. I say, screw it, let them think what they want.â You said flippantly, waving a hand to the side. âItâs not their business, anyway-â
You shook your head vehemently. You were upset that people would talk about Joel like that, after all heâs done for them. You knew it was all out of jealousy, and that it was all talk. It still stung, though.
Joel looked so serious, and normally you would have laughed and pointed it out. But you were so upset that you just couldnât stand it anymore.
âBesides, they⊠Their talk is warranted. I see how it looks, but it has nothing to do with them. Only us. Just us.â You said. Joel then took your hand in his with a much more firm grip, even if his knuckles were sore. You watched him for what felt like minutes. Well, there was no going back now.Â
âI just⊠I care about you, Joel. A lot. More than- more than I can say. I like hanging out with you, I like seeing you smile, I like hearing your, rather rare, laugh. I want to hear what you have to say, I want to sit with you in silence and drink copious amounts of coffee. I-â you rambled, and finally shut yourself up for a moment, taking a deep breath as you closed your eyes.Â
âI just, I want more. I want to be with you. Okay?â You said, forcing the words out, and you looked up at him. He was watching you with those intense brown eyes in silence. You thought he was going to reject it, passing it by, as his grip loosened on your hand. But, his grip became soft, and he lifted your hand to his lips. He kissed your knuckles softly, and his honeyed brown eyes watched you with⊠adoration.
âDarlinâ, you have no idea how much you mean to me.â He said, his lips against your skin. He looked down at you, his eyes soft and sweet like a warm glass of whiskey. He raised a hand to bring his thumb against your cheek.
âI canât give⊠I canât give you much. I ainât too good at grand, romantic gestures. I just have myself, itâs all I have to offer. Youâre too good for me, and you deserve someone who can give you everything you could ask for, give you the world-â
âJoel,â You said, your eyes looking between his own. You your head,Â
âI donât want the world. I want you.âÂ
You leaned into his touch, and he let go of your hand to put a hand on your waist and closed the distance between you.Â
And he kissed you. He kissed you the way heâs always wanted to- gently, cautiously, but full of hope and heart.Â
You closed your eyes immediately on impact, and returned the kiss with a gentle push. You raised your hand to press against his bearded cheek, his hair tickling your fingertips. He smelled of wood and leather, and a strong smell that you knew was just Joel. He was everything you wanted, and more.Â
You werenât sure who pulled away first, but you both needed air. Joel leaned his forehead against yours, and his thumb still gently caressed your cheek. You were too good for him, and he knew that. He didnât deserve anyone by the likes of you.Â
And yet, here you were, wrapped up in his arms and returning his kiss. It was something he had only ever dreamed of, only ever thought about late at night.
But now, it was reality.
âLetâs get a cup of coffee. âS Fuckinâ cold out here.â Joel laughed, and you grinned, taking his hand and holding it tightly. You lead the way, through the snow and cold air, but you both felt warm from head to toe.
~*~*~
âWhy not?â
âI said no.â Joel said firmly.Â
âWell, you look like a sad, old, shaggy dog.â Ellie said, and eyed the scissors that sat on the bathroom counter next to Joel. Joel looked at her with a raised eyebrow,
âThatâs why Iâm going to cut it.â he replied. He was feeling a bit self conscious about his hair lately. It was long, overgrown, and curling at the ends. You didnât say anything about it, but he felt⊠scraggly.
He kept his beard in good shape. That was easy. But, his hair was a different story. He ran a hand through it, and sighed. He was in a battle with himself. He needed to at least cut the back, but he had no way to look at it or judge how much he should cut.Â
The door opened and you stepped into the Miller household, calling out your presence. You had been asked to come by after work for some kind of soup Joel attempted. You were practically living in Joelâs house at this point, though you still slept in your own house. It was all about taking it easy, you both agreed. It had only been a few weeks since your kiss, and you and Joel were still learning how to dance around a significant other again. But, it was falling into a rhythm, one that comforted you both.
Ellieâs eyes shifted and stuck her head out the doorway,
âIn here!â she called, and you stepped into the way of the downstairs bathroom, assessing the scene. Joel glanced at you before frowning at the scissors.
ââSup.â Ellie greeted, and you grinned.
ââSup, yourself. Whatâs going on?â You questioned, a bit of snow still in your hair, and you rubbed your arms to bring warmth to them again. When neither spoke, you cocked up an eyebrow and met Ellieâs gaze.Â
Ellie grew a mischievous glint in her eyes, and she leaned back on her heels, shoving her hands in her pockets.
âWhy donât you get your girlfriend to do it?â Ellie questioned, and Joelâs eyes shot to her, red flaring up his face. You two hadnât discussed the intricacies of your relationship, much less as to what label you would have. Joel cleared his throat and leaned his hip against the counter, crossing his arms to try to play it off. Ellieâs grin was apparent, and you stood at the bathroom threshold next to Ellie.Â
Your eyes cast down to the scissors, and it dawned on you.Â
âSomebody needs a haircut?â You offered, and Joel looked over at you, his eyes softening. He half shrugged, dragging a hand down his beard.
âWas just thinkinâ about it.â He said, and Ellie looked over at you with an exasperated look.
âHe was just about to start until I came in. I offered, but-â
âYou ainât cominâ near me with any sharp objects, kid.â He said, his eyes narrowing at her. Ellie put her hands up in defense, and looked at you.
âSee what I mean?â
âIâll take it from here.â You said, and walked into the batroom and rolled up your sleeves. Joel leaned away slightly,
âYou done this before?â He questioned, knowing better than to doubt you. But, this was his head you were talking about, and he didnât want to look like a fool.
âYeah. Used to cut hair all the time. Iâm not a high end stylist but I get the job done. Now, ge over theret.â You said, picking up the scissors and gesturing for Joel to walk further into the bathroom. He sighed and did as he was told (because who was he to deny you?) and sat on the edge of the tub as you instructed. Ellie watched, that grin still plastered on her face, as she leaned against the doorway.Â
âTake off your flannel, I donât wanna get hair everywhere.â You said. Joel was wearing a t- shirt under his flannel, but it still felt⊠intimate.Â
But, he undid the buttons and handed it off to you. You folded it and set it on the bathroom sink, and picked up the comb that lay not too far away. You turned to Joel and angled his head to the side and began to snip away slowly. Ellie shifted behind you, and shook her head.
âGod, this is stressing me out. Donât cut off his ears, okay?â Ellie said, and waved before leaving towards the living room. You grinned as you worked at Joelâs hair, using the comb as a line to cut around.
âI think that shows she cares. In her own way.â You laughed, and Joel rolled her eyes.
âSheâs still a pain in my ass. And nosy as hell, apparently-â He said, and you heard Ellie shout from the living room,
âI am literally right here!âÂ
You shook your head and continued to cut. Joel sat still as stone, and your eyebrows began to furrow in concentration as you moved all around him. Joel felt more and more relaxed, with your presence so near and the sound of snip snip snip softly in his ear. You moved to the front side, and he held out a hand to place on your waist as if to keep you anchored in the spot. You smiled lightly, reveling in the touch as you continued to cut.
Joelâs hand was warm and steady on your hip, and he began to rub light circles into your side over your shirt. You tilted your head to the side; and he glanced up at you.
âYou look so serious.â He said, and you glanced at him with an amused smirk.
âHey. Thatâs my line.â You laughed.
âIs it that bad?â
âIâm just trying my damndest to not mess it up, baby.â You said, and moved to chop at the back. You definitely didnât want your man to have a mullet, knowing the look didnât really look good on anyone.
âI appreciate that.â Joel said, and meant it. He moved his head this way and that as you adjusted him, and then you finally stood straight. His hand stayed at your side, and he looked up at you.
âThank you, sweetheart.â He said, and you smile, running the comb and then your hand through the top of his head.
âAnytime.â You said, your hand trailing down his hair to his neck, then to his cheek. He leaned into your touch instinctively, and your thumb brushed against his beard. You liked the way it felt under your fingertips, and how much he just looked and felt like a man. Your man.
It felt new to think that, but you wouldnât say it out loud. Not yet.Â
âYou guys better not be getting weird in there!â Ellie called after a few beats of silence, breaking you from the intimate moment. Joel rolled his eyes and stood up, and you set the scissors to the side. He brought you close to his side for a moment and pressed a kiss to your temple. You smiled, leaning into him.Â
Yes. Your man.
~*~*~
âWhy donât you spend the night?â Joel questioned as you both trudged through the snow after a shift on patrol. You turned your head to him, eyes narrowing.
âSo thatâs why youâve been so quiet today.â you said, nodding in realization. Joel breathed out a huff of a chuckle, and shook his head. You could see red creeping on the tip of his ears, and knew it wasnât just from the cold.
âEllieâs got a birthday party to go to, said itâs gonna run late. They say itâs gonna get below freezing tonight, and I donât want you to have to walk home in that-â
âOkay.âÂ
He cleared his throat, and nodded, his gaze moved down to the snow to make sure he didnât step on anything that would give him trouble. You grinned, and shook your head at his bashfulness. He really was the perfect gentleman- never overstepping or forcing himself, respecting boundaries and even coming up with some of his own. He really was exercising the âtaking it slowâ rule, too.Â
Maybe tonight could change that.Â
When you parted ways, more work waited for you both. With a squeeze of hands and looks of longing, you both made a silent promise to meet up that night.Â
Joel had managed to get to the house earlier, and began preparing. He had gotten some more soup from the cafeteria to heat up and for you to share. He had coffee at the ready, and his house was as clean as he could make it. After putting Ellie to work before she could escape, she later remarked that âthe house had never been so clean,â and âshe must be pretty important for you to dust the cabinets.â
She may not have said it outright, but she knew Joel cared for you. Despite their sometimes strained relationship, she was happy he wasnât completely alone anymore. She could see this heaviness on his shoulders lift from time to time, that line between his eyebrows disappear when he saw you. Ellie couldnât even tease him about it for much longer, as she had her own budding relationship that Joel would eventually find out about. Then the tables would turn and she would get the incessant teasing.Â
âHey,â she said, turning before she left to see Joel sweeping the kitchen one last time. He looked up, cocking an eyebrow. âDonât fuck this up.â she said, giving him a grin. The door shut behind her, and he shook his head.Â
But, he agreed with her.Â
~*~*~
The sun had set all too soon, and he waited anxiously for your arrival. He couldnât sit still, and fiddled with the wood trinkets he had whittled, and looked through his sad excuse of a record collection. He could feel nervousness creeping under his skin, around his heart. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe he was moving too fast. What were you thinking? Did you think that he was just looking to get some when he asked you to stay? He knew that wasnât the case on his part, but he didnât want to make you uncomfortable. If anything, he could always take the couch-
A knock on the door sounded, and he nearly gave himself whiplash turning around and heading to the door. When he opened it, you stood with a mason jar in hand, your familiar green jacket pulled around you. Snow flurries dotted the background of where you stood, and Joel couldnât help but smile.Â
What was he worried about again?
You stepped in, and when the door shut, you leaned up and gave him a light kiss. He leaned into it, about to raise his hand to touch your face when you pressed something into it instead. He looked down at it, and then to you with a cocked eyebrow.
âMoonshine?â
âCorrect. Just a little. Keith said thatâs all it takes.â you laughed, and Joel shook his head with a smile. He helped you out of your jacket, and you bent down to remove your boots as Joel walked to the kitchen. He had a small pot to heat up the soup over the fire, and carried that carefully after putting the moonshine down. You walked to the couch as Joel set the pot over the fire, and felt the warmth of Joelâs house seep into your bones. You tugged at the sleeves of your blouse, and Joel noted he hadnât seen it before as he sat down next to you. It was nice- a little form fitting, beige with some kind of subtle floral pattern.Â
âSomebody dressed up.â Joel chuckled, and you rolled your eyes. You nudged his shoulder lightly as you settled into the couch, Joelâs arm moving instinctively around the back of the couch to welcome you into his side.Â
âFigured iâd try at least a little.â you said, and Joel pressed a kiss to your temple gently.
âI like it.â he said quietly, and you leaned your head onto his shoulder, the crackling of the fire and the wind outside being the only music you two listened to.
âJoel?â you questioned, and Joel hummed in response, leaning his head against yours. If he could be stuck in a snowglobe, trapped in time, it would be this moment. âTell me a story.âÂ
He smiled, and sighed, lifting his head and looking around, eyes narrowed.
âAlright, I got one. Itâs dumb, but it was funny.â he said, trying to recall the details of the movie in question. It had been years, though. âIâve seen it god knows how many times. It was Sarahâs favorite-â he said, but abruptly stopped. You stilled for a moment, and pondered what to say next. Joel had mentioned his daughter a few times in passing. Never for too long, but you had pieced this much together- she was young, died on outbreak day, and Joel couldnât save her.Â
You could relate- you had lost your parents in quick succession after the outbreak, leaving you with strangers to survive. Losing your husband a year ago, the last of the familiarity you knew. You had never known true stability⊠Until now.
âShe⊠she was a good kid-â Joel said, and you lifted your head and could see a misty look in his eyes. You pressed a hand to his cheek, grounding him back to reality.
âWith you raising her, she must have been lovely. They learn the best from you, you know.â you said, and smiled gently. Joelâs eyes moved downwards, and you leaned up to kiss his cheek gently. You didnât want to press it, knowing it was a sensitive subject for him. But, with a shaky breath, he raised his eyes to the ceiling, like he was looking for something. A reason, a comfort, something.
But, his eyes moved back to you. Though weak, he smiled. You were both a reason and a comfort. Two things he needed to finally break the ice on his first daughter.Â
âShe loved reading. Made me read her all sorts of stuff. She knew how to read before other kids her age. I⊠Iâm proud of her. What she did, when she was still here.â he said, swallowing. You nodded, your hand never straying far from him as it sunk from his face to take his free hand.Â
âSheâs still here, Joel. You carry her wherever you go. Memories are good for that- keeping people alive, even when theyâre not here next to us.â You said quietly, and Joelâs smile strengthened a little bit more. He nodded, exhaling deeply and shifted on the couch to get a little more comfortable.
âI remember I took her to the library every week, ever since she was little. She loved to walk around the aisles, didnât care much for the play area. She would come with a stack of books this high,â Joel said, and raised his hand over his knee, and you giggled. âInsisted she would read every single one. And she did.âÂ
~*~*~
When dinner was all said and done, you both nursed your second glass of moonshine, the conversation a bit more light. You recounted some funny stories from working around the commune, and Joel would laugh in amusement, the corners of his eyes crinkling. You loved that sight, and couldnât help but grin every time.Â
âNo, really! She said she was going to march straight to his house and give him a piece of mind. I mean, I'd do the same thing- you canât let that shit slide.â You said, and Joel just continued laughing. You rolled your eyes, nudging his leg with your toe. The moonshine was definitely getting to you two. You had a fleeting thought to either thank Keith later or wallop him over the head. This shit was strong.
âPlease, darlinâ, have mercy on me.â he said, his cheeks rosy with the effects of the alcohol, a hand pressed against his aching stomach from laughing so much. You grinned, happy to see him like this. So free, so comfortable, able to laugh and actually mean it. You leaned forward and took the nearly empty glass from him. He made a noise of protest but didnât move to stop you as you set your empty glasses on the coffee table in front of you. You nearly fell over and Joel caught you before you could tumble to the floor, both of you giggling for no damn reason. Joel pulled you up, and you were nearly nose to nose, sitting up on your knees next to him.Â
Your breath hitched in your throat, and you suddenly felt hot. You couldnât tell if it was actually sweat collecting down your back or if it was just a feeling. Your hand rested on Joelâs chest, and your laughter subsided, your gazes on each other turning heavy. Your hand rested on his chest, and Joelâs brown eyes kept moving back and forth to your own. You raised a hand to press against his cheek and before you even had the notion to lean in, he crashed his lips onto yours. The force knocked you back a bit, but you recovered and kissed back, eyes falling shut. Joel hummed against your lips, and your eyebrows knit together in want. In a fit of passion, you swung your leg over his thighs and rested on his lap. This drew a real, true groan from Joel, his hands settling on your hips and gripping them like a vice. You tilted your head down, capturing his lips in a deep kiss that was enough to make your head spin.Â
Joel began to move your hips in his grasp, and you could feel a tightening of his jeans beneath you. You chased the feeling, beginning to grind against him. You pulled back to only dive into his neck, kissing the column and then to the side, moving to the spot under his ear. A low grumble came from his chest, tilting his head back to revel in your kisses. You began to suck on the spot, your hand moving from his chest to palm at his jeans. Joelâs hand abruptly moved from your hip to your shoulder, pushing you back just a bit before you came up voluntarily.Â
Looking at Joel with wide, lust-blown eyes, you suddenly felt a wave of doubt cross you. Did you overstep? Was this too much?Â
âDarlinâ,â he began, his chest rising and falling, his dark brown eyes nearly black from what youâve done to him. He cupped your cheek gently, âIf weâre gonna do it, weâre gonna do it right. Somewhere more comfortable for the both of us.â
Your doubts were dashed away like a bolt of lightning, a smile rising to your face and you kissed him deeply. Shuffling off of him clumsily and standing up, you extended your hand to pull him off the couch. He began to lead you to the bedroom up the stairs, a giddy feeling in his chest. When the door swung open, he didnât give much time to linger on the contents of his room, turning to you and pulling you to his chest and pressed a hot kiss to your lips.Â
You didnât know Joel could be so passionate, but you were not complaining. You sighed against his lips, and Joel began to back up until the back of his knees hit the bed. You pushed him and he slowly sat down, breaking away from the kiss to look up at you as you stood over him. His hand reached out and settled on your waist, and you just had to take a second and admire him. Mouth swollen and pink from the kisses, eyes filled with a healthy mixture of lust and adoration, his chest rising and falling to show his anticipation. You could only wonder what you looked like at that moment. Probably a wild and lustful thing, dripping with anticipation.Â
You began to sink to your knees, but Joel was quick to pull you up with a gentleness and pecked you on the lips.
âNext time.â he mumbled and you began to giggle, feeling the corners of his lips quirk up. You pulled away, shoulders still shaking from your giggles, butterflies swarming in your stomach.
âOh yeah? Next time?â
âOf course.â Joel said, as if it was clear as day. You grinned and moved to kiss him but he took you by the waist and turned you to lay on the bed with you on your back. You bounced on the old springs, and grinned up at Joel, hand moving to his shoulder as he leaned down and kissed you with fervor. Your other hand moved to his flannel, struggling to undo the buttons one-handed and had to have your other hand join in. Joelâs hand decided to busy themselves with the button of your jeans, sliding the zipper down. Just as you were about to undo the final button, he pulled away and undid it himself, pulling the flannel off and discarding it somewhere behind him. You pouted at the sight of the undershirt, and he laughed at your expression, pulling it off and threw it back to join his flannel. Suddenly his self-consciousness about being shirtless was left at the door, along with all of your doubts and worries.Â
You sucked in a breath, and had dreamed of this sight. You knew he was solid, broad, but this was a sight to behold. He was all smooth, freckled, tanned skin, his stomach a little pudgy but meaning it was well loved. It was all you had imagined, and a little more.Â
â... darlinâ? Did you hear me? Lift your hips for me.â he said, bringing you back to reality, and you obeyed as quickly as you could to catch up with him. He pulled your jeans down, and you felt the cool air settle on your skin and realized he took your underwear down too. You whined in anticipation and he paused just as your jeans hit the ground. He looked up at you, a silent question in his eyes and you gave him a strained smile and a subtle nod. He settled on the floor, a hand tracing down your torso to your stomach, then pelvis. He kissed your knees, then your thighs and eased them open gently.Â
âJesus,â he murmured as he looked down at your glistening cunt, and you lifted yourself up onto your elbows in a sudden movement to capture his reaction. âYouâre fucking perfect.âÂ
With little preamble, he leaned his head down and you lost the support of your arms as you fell back when you felt his tongue give a firm swipe up your folds. Your hands gripped the sheets out of pure bliss. If this is what you felt like now, what was in store for you next?
Joelâs lips pressed to your clit which was already throbbing with need, and your eyebrows knit together as he began to suck on it gently. Your hand itched to thread through his hair, and he did another swipe up and down your cunt before sliding his tongue inside. You both let out a chorus of groans and gasps, your back arching off the bed and his hand moved to press against your lower stomach to keep you in place. He repeated a cycle of licks, kisses, and sucking of your clit that made you see stars. Your hand eventually found the back of his head, and you really didnât have to do anything as he pressed himself more into your cunt, his nose swiping over your clit as his mouth worked in and out of you.Â
âJoel-â you whined, feeling the sensation of a tightening in your stomach, your lower back alight with heat. He must feel you were close, as you gasped when two fingers entered you, joining Joelâs mouth as he worked you. âFuck,â you sighed, trying to turn your head to look down at him. But, it had been so long since you had had a proper orgasm not by your own hand that all you could do was lay back and take it.Â
âDoinâ so good for me, baby.â he murmured, the words of praise making you exhale sharply before sucking in another breath at a strong suck to your clit. His fingers worked in and out, the sounds of squelching from your wet cunt filling the room. Your body began to wind up, your stomach flexing under his hand that still rested there.Â
âThatâs it. Come for me, darlinâ.â he said, not sure if he was actually talking to you or your body to coax you into an orgasm. He then curled his fingers inside you and you tightened around them, body trembling and you let out a whine that turned into a moan, your hand holding onto his hair as the other gripped the sheets for dear life. Your body flooded with endorphins, and you felt a flooding sensation down south as well. Joel pulled out his fingers, lapping up your release with obscene noises. With a few swipes of his tongue and a few swirls around your clit, you had come down gently, eyes closed as black and white danced behind your eyelids.
Feeling him shift, you opened your eyes and he coaxed you into pulling off your shirt and unclasping your bra. Your body felt weightless but heavy all at the same time, but you found the strength to move back on the bed with trembling limbs from your orgasm. Joel undid his jeans and pushed them down before climbing on top of you. You looked down and⊠god. He was impressive.Â
He kissed you deeply, bringing you out of your thoughts abruptly once more, tasting yourself on his tongue. He rested a hand on your waist, his hips instinctively grinding against your own and you shivered at the touch, winding a hand through his hair to keep him close. Your hand found his cock and you gave it a few encouraging pumps, finding he was rock solid.Â
âShit, sweetheart, if you do that- Iâm not gonna last-â he groaned, and you smirked against his lips and pressed him against your folds. Even feeling the head of his cock was enough to send you spiraling and your grip on him loosened. But, he was quick to take it and align himself, mouth moving in tandem with yours. He gave a few swipes of his tip and just when you were about to beg, he slid himself inside, bit by agonizing bit. You sucked in a breath as Joel exhaled with a soft moan, your mouths open and hovering between each other. Your hand moved from his hair to his cheek, and he pressed his forehead against yours as he began to rock his hips.Â
You were in bliss. It was such an intimate, soft moment as he took his time moving in and out of you. A hand loosening on your waist, his hand explored the expanse of your side, up and down as the other supported his weight next to your head.Â
âJoelâŠâ you whispered, your other arm abandoning the sheets and curled around his back to keep him close. He rocked back and forth and hit your cervix, once, twice, three times until it became a habit. Your body began to tense again, and he groaned into your neck, your name escaping him with a hiss. He kissed your neck, his hips moving a bit faster, hitting that spot with more force. Your toes began to curl as your legs wrapped around his waist, and he began to stiffen, but didnât let up his pace.
âCome on, give me another one.â he murmured against your skin, and your cunt twitched at the encouragement, causing him to moan again. You didnât think he would be this vocal during sex, but god you were loving every bit of it.Â
âPlease, Joel- I wanna-â you whined, and he reached down between you two and began to rub circles on your clit to further encourage you. Your lips parted, eyebrows scrunching up. Thatâs all it took for you to come undone the second time that night, tightening around him and encouraging his own release. His hips stuttered, giving about three more languid thrusts. He then quickly moved, sitting up slightly as he pulled out and pumped his cock, his sticky release painting your pelvis and stomach with white.Â
âFuck.â you whispered, and grinned, Joel panting as he watched his work, and then moved his eyes to you. You couldnât want to taste that coming down your throat. But, next time.
He leaned down, uncaring that he smeared his release between you as he kissed you deeply. You couldnât find the strength to meet him halfway, but raised a hand to press against his face to keep him there for a moment.Â
He pulled away, pressing his forehead against yours and mumbled a âbe right back,â moving to go down the hall to the bathroom and he came back with a damp washcloth, wiping himself and you down. He set it to the side, and joined you on the bed. His arm moved over your torso, and he propped himself up to look at you with pure adoration in his eyes.
âSo⊠youâll still stay?â he questioned, his voice soft, questioning. But, you already knew your answer, and gave him a smile, and a gentle nod.Â
~*~*~
Somewhere in the night, you had to borrow some of Joelâs clothes. The cold draft in the room was a bit more tolerable with a t-shirt and sleep pants on. Luckily Joel had enough for the both of you.
The sunlight peeked through the faded curtains, signaling morning had come. You lay on your side, Joelâs body pressed against your back, an arm around your waist. Your eyes opened slightly, still thick with sleep, but taking in your surroundings. Joelâs room was simple, but cozy. The sunlight filtering in was warming up the area, and you held onto the pillow just a bit tighter, pressing back against Joel to savor his warmth.Â
When you did, Joel let out a hum, and you felt a kiss on your shoulder, then another. And another.
âWas wonderinâ when youâd wake up.â Joel chuckled, and gave your hip a squeeze. You grinned, turning in his arms and laid on your back, looking over at him.Â
âWell, having three rounds was enough to knock me the hell out.â you laughed. You really didnât know how Joel could keep up with the age he was at. But, he was insatiable, like a horny frat boy at a sorority party. And you werenât complaining.
âMm. You sound so upset.â he chuckled and leaned over, pressing a kiss to your cheek, then sitting up a bit to kiss your lips. Now that this particular moment in your relationship had happened, Joel seemed a bit less nervous and a bit more giving. You could only wonder what the future had in store.Â
âDid Ellie come home?â you suddenly questioned, and Joel nodded, his hand running up and down your side, pulling you close.
âShe did. Donât worry.â he said, pressing a kiss to your neck. You wanted to laugh at that- Joel Miller telling you not to worry? That was yet another first.
You sat in silence, the sun growing more and more bright as it rose in the sky. It gave the room a very warm, inviting, and comforting tone. You sighed as Joel leaned his head into your neck, his scent enveloping you. Turning your head to press your nose to his forehead, he gave her shoulder another kiss, then your neck.Â
âSo, does this mean I can hold your hand around town now?â Joel mumbled, and you couldnât help but grin like a kid on Christmas.
âOnly if I can tell people about my absolute hunk of a man.â you teased, and Joel lifted his head at that, eyebrows furrowing.
âIâm a what?â he asked, though it was in disbelief and not confusion.
âDonât worry about it,â you laughed, and raised a hand to card through his unruly brown and silver locks. He gazed down at you, his brown eyes looking at you like you were the only thing in the world that mattered now. You felt that familiar twist in your lower stomach, and smiled. âYouâre my man, thatâs all that matters.â
Joel nodded, and kissed your lips again,
âAnd youâre my girl?â he questioned genuinely against your lips. The sentiment and hopeful tone eased any tension that was left in your body. Your hand tightened in his hair just enough to apply pressure and deepen the kiss, your body shifting and calling for his own. And just as sure as the sun rises, his body met yours halfway, answering that call.
âI am. I wouldnât want to be anything else.â you murmured, and you could feel Joelâs smile on your lips, humming in delight. Feeling like a couple of lovesick teenagers in a world that had gone to hell, you stayed in each otherâs embrace as the sun rose high in the sky.Â
Daylight has never looked so beautiful.
THE END.
#joel miller#joel tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller x ofc#jackson!joel#tlou hbo#joel miller fanfiction#pedro pascal#visionsfics
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obedience | part 1
summary: you decide to act out after feeling neglected by joel for over a week. it doesnât go quite according to plan, but his punishment does help you unlock a new kink or two.
warnings: 18+, smut, no outbreak au, daddy kink, d/s and ddlg relationship dynamics, brat tamer joel, degradation/humiliation (use of slut, whore, 1 use of bitch), orgasm denial/edging, boot riding, pet names (baby, babygirl, darlinâ, sugar, sweetheart, honey, puppy), entering petplay territory??, finger sucking, one face slap but she likes it (and so do i), taking/sending nudes at work, subspace, hair pulling, joel cums on readerâs face, cum eating, two idiots who finally communicate and apologize to each other, gets soft at the end bc iâm a woman of many interests, reader can be carried by joel but no other physical descriptions, winterâs limited knowledge of what contractors do, pic of girl in the moodboard is for bra imagery only, reader looks just like you!! :)
word count: 4.1k
a/n: this is extremely self indulgent so please donât look at me!!! lil shoutout to @pascalisbaby for inspiring me to write something just so i can use âpuppyâ bc their loveâs gonna get you killed series has fucked me up extremely bad.
divider by @saradika
(read part 2 here)
Itâs coming up on nearly a week and a half of Joel working long days and late nights at the latest suburban McMansion heâs been contracted out to. Each and every time he creeps into his side of the bed after youâve already gone to sleep, never failing to wake you up in the process, he always has a different excuse. âMy concrete guy was out sick todayâ, âthe vendor gave us the wrong size rebarâ, âthe landscapers were in our way all damn dayâ, and other similar eye roll-inducing anecdotes that were followed up with sleepy apologies.
Tonight, youâre almost certain, will be just the same.
Slogging through yet another slow and uneventful day at your corporate nine-to-five, youâre practically counting down the seconds until youâll be able to escape your drab little cubicle for the day. You arenât exactly looking forward to going home, though, either. You know that all you have waiting for you will be another lonely night of heating up a frozen dinner, watching reality TV reruns until the ten oâclock news comes on, and then tucking yourself into a cold bed.
While youâre waiting around for a coworker to message you back about something painfully unimportant, you decide to get up to kill some time in the bathroom on your phone and stretch your legs a bit. You stand up from your rolling chair, grabbing your phone in the process, and head down the hall to the one single-person bathroom in the building that you know of.
You step inside and click the lock shut behind you, looking forward to having a rare few minutes to yourself without the threat of your manager lurking over your shoulder. You inspect your makeup in the mirror and address some flyaway hairs before leaning back against the sink and swiping your home screen into view. Your heart soars at the discovery of a text notification from Joel, but settles just as quickly when you read the words across your screen.
A couple of my dumbass guys fucked up some measurements again. Gonna be another late one. Sorry baby.Â
You let out an exasperated sigh and turn around to face your reflection again, bracing yourself on the edge of the sink and trying not to cry. How much fucking longer are you going to have to put up with this? You'd been getting through it alright so far, but his sterile text had ignited a raging fire deep in your stomach that made a scorching heat climb its way up the back of your neck.
Youâre determined to get his attention tonight, one way or another. Even if it means pushing some of his buttons, riling him up, making him feel a few licks of that very same inferno. Youâre feeling fucking bratty.
You undo the top few buttons of your blouse and shimmy it off your shoulders, exposing the blushing lace of the bra you had chosen when you were getting dressed this morning. Using one arm to hold your phone up to the mirror with the camera app open, you use the other one to prop yourself up against the sink and assist in pushing your tits together. As a final touch, you pull down one of the delicate cups along with its accompanying strap, exposing an already peaked nipple. Meeting your own eyes in the reflection and forming your glossy lips into a faux pout, you snap the picture and attach it to your text conversation with Joel. You type out a coy little message to go along with it and send it off.
thatâs okay daddy. just sad i wore a rly cute bra today for nothing :(
While you anxiously wait for his response, you take a few more lewd photos to tease him with later, and make your way back to your desk after you button yourself up again and smooth out your skirt.
Sitting back down at your cubicle, you check your notifications to find a response from Joel, sent just a few seconds ago.
Whatâd I tell you about sendin me shit like that when Iâm at work? Put your fuckin tits away babygirl. Not in the mood today.
Despite his harsh words, you know your plan is already working in your favor. You canât help but giggle to yourself as you attach another one of the photos you had taken in the bathroom, this one of your matching lace panties pulled aside to expose your bare pussy to the front camera. You type out another flirtatious message and tap the button to send it.
idk what u mean daddy :( just miss u is all. she misses u too :((
You promptly turn off your phone and place it screen-down next to your mousepad, resigning yourself to a mere ten minutes of work before you canât resist temptation anymore and pick it back up again to check for a reply.
Last warning babygirl. I got enough shit to deal with today, donât need your slutty pictures distractin me. Iâll see ya tonight.
whatever. u donât pay attention to me anymore anyway :/
You begin to regret your message as soon as you send it, worrying you might have taken things too far. But it was true; youâre upset, in a bratty mood, and feeling neglected. And, maybe you did want to work him up enough for him to take it all out on you, to fuck the attitude out of you the way you know he likes to do every so often.
A few seconds after you power off your screen to do a few more minutes of work, it illuminates again.
Oh I don't? When I get home tonight you better be kneelin in front of the door waitin for me undressed like a good girl. Not like the fuckin brat youâre actin like. And weâll see about payin you some attention. Now pull your fuckin panties up and get back to work.
Your heart jumps into your throat as you read his text, now feeling exhilarated that your plan is officially in motion. After youâve read his words through a couple of times, squeezing your thighs together and stifling a whimper as you did so, your trembling fingers type out a simple reply:
yes daddy <3
The remainder of your work day seems to pass by in slow motion, every minute feeling more like five. You can hardly bring yourself to focus on any of your mundane tasks, your mind constantly drifting to what you might be in for tonight. Will he spank you and leave red handprints on your ass for days? Will he fuck your face while you sputter and gasp around him? Will he work you over with his tongue until all you know how to say is âIâm sorry, Daddyâ? As you shake yourself from your trance and try to focus your eyes again, you wonder why you hadnât thought to act up like this earlier in the week. You keep your eye on the little digital clock in the corner of your monitor for the last five consecutive minutes of your work day, and as soon as 4:59 flashes to 5:00, you practically sprint out to your car in your hurry to get home.
â
Youâre cuddled up on the couch underneath your favorite fleece blanket, already stripped down to your peony-colored underwear set like Joel had requested. The past couple of hours have been spent cycling between all of your streaming services and social media apps, trying desperately to find something to occupy yourself with until he gets home. Youâre half-tempted to get up and walk some laps around the house, but around 10:30, you finally see the scanning headlights of Joelâs pickup as it turns into the driveway.
You immediately spring up from your little nest on the couch and prance over to the front door, kneeling a few feet in front of it just like he ordered.
In your excited anticipation to see him, you tune your ears to pick up every little sound you hear as he makes his way to you: the slam of the truckâs driverâs side door, the dull thud of his work boots heading up the walkway, the prolonged jingling of his keys as he fumbles with them to unlock the door. Youâre sure heâs fidgeting with them for a few seconds longer than usual, just to tease you and keep you waiting. A shiver runs up your spine and you can feel your heart pounding against the walls of your chest as he finally turns the lock.
He calmly steps inside and closes the door behind him, dropping his dusty work bag onto the floor and stripping himself of his canvas tool belt. He stalks over to where youâre knelt on the hardwood, wrapped in your dainty lace for him like a little doll. Thereâs something arousing about the contrast between your barely-there feminine attire and his dark, practical clothing.
âWell, whaddya know, she can be good after all⊠Waitinâ for me all nice and pretty just like I asked. All it takes is an order from your Daddy to get you actinâ right again, ainât that right, babygirl? Obedient lilâ thingâŠâ He takes your chin between his thumb and forefinger as he speaks, keeping your eyes trained on his. You nod up at him, doe-eyed and dazed, already feeling yourself beginning to slip into that familiar saccharine headspace.
Every time you had previously tried your hand at bratting, it never lasted very long, and tonight was already proving to be no different. He was right, after all, it doesnât take more than a command, a look, a gentle grasp of your chin, to remind you of your desire to be good for him.
âWhat, Daddy doesnât get a proper greetinâ after a long day oâ work? You already that far gone fâ me, canât use your words proper like a big girl?âÂ
âH-hi, Daddy⊠Missed you today,â you half-whisper, your voice sounding a little higher and further away than it did earlier in the day.
âYeah, I know yâ did⊠Iâll bet your lilâ panties are âbout soaked through already, bet you left a wet spot on your fuckinâ desk chair just from daydreaminâ about what I was gonna do to you tonight, hm?â
Another silent nod accompanied by a pitiful little whimper. The blazing fire in your gut from this afternoon is quickly being replaced by something much more easily tamed, something more akin to a flickering candle flame than a wildfire. You struggle to keep your eyelids open as they begin to feel heavier with submission.
A stern look and a ticked jaw is enough for you to correct your wordless response.
âY-yes, DaddyâŠâ
âAnd what is it that you think Iâm gonna do with you tonight, babygirl? Speak up, nowâŠâ
You rack your brain for a moment, suddenly unable to remember any of the depraved fantasies you had been conjuring up all day instead of replying to emails. You eventually land on a relatively straightforward answer.
âI th-think youâre gonna⊠gonna fuck the attitude outta me, t-teach me a lesson⊠right, Daddy?â
He lets out a dark chuckle, releasing your chin from his hold to give your cheek a couple of condescending pats instead.
âAww, dumb lilâ thing⊠you thought Daddy was gonna touch you at all tonight, make that pathetic lilâ pussy cum after the stunts you were pullinâ today? Nah, I donât think so⊠Open that slutty fuckinâ mouth.â
Youâre reeling, taken aback by his harsh words, words that were certainly not in any of the countless scenarios you had been imagining at work. Thereâs a long beat of silence as you struggle to process his command.
You hear the smack across your face before you feel the heated sting of it, and it prompts a debauched mewl to spill from your parted lips.
âI said open your fuckinâ mouthâŠâ
Your jaw falls slack in an instant, your pulsing cunt releasing an ashamed wave of wetness at the degrading slap. Joel shoves his thumb inside your waiting mouth, and you wrap your lips around it obediently as you swirl your tongue along its calloused landscape. It tastes salty, a little dirty, and you like it.
âGood girl, suck on Daddyâs thumb, thaâs it⊠dumb whoreâll suck on anything Daddy puts in her mouth, wonât she? Desperate lilâ thing⊠Bet you wish it was this fat cock instead, donât you baby?â
You whine and nod around him, your hole squeezing around nothing as you look up at him with pleading eyes.
âWell⊠thatâs just too fuckinâ bad, ainât it? Tonightâs not about what you want, you can gimme that sad puppy look all you like, sugar, not gonna change anythinâ...â
He pulls his thumb out of your mouth, and your slick lips try to chase after it until he wipes it clean on the side of your face. His hands make quick work of opening his stained work jeans and freeing his stiff cock from his briefs, taking it into one hand and beginning to pump it with languid strokes. He grabs a fistful of hair at the base of your skull with his free hand and taps the leaking head of his length against your cheek, adding to the dampness there from your own saliva.
âThis what you want?â Tap tap tap. âYou want Daddyâs cock? Hm? This what you been thinkinâ about all day, dirty girl?â He rocks his hips back and forth as he speaks, smearing his arousal along your skin.
You canât help but squirm as a humiliated heat begins to pool in your tummy.
âYes, Daddy, please let me have it, wanâ it so badâŠâ you beg.
He releases your hair and pulls his cock away from your face, making a show of massaging it and taunting you with what he wonât let you have.
âNah, you ainât gettinâ any of Daddyâs cock tonight, baby⊠In fact, Iâm gonna stand right here and take care of mâself, and youâre gonna find somethinâ to rub that soakinâ cunt on while I watchâŠâ
As the last of his words leave his lips, he steps one foot forward and nudges it between your thighs, looking at you expectantly. You lower your head to face his steel-toed work boot, covered in dust and dirt from his day at the construction site. Your mind still too deep in the clouds to understand what heâs asking of you, you lift your eyes back up to him for guidance. He juts his chin out in a silent âgo on, thenâ, and you return your confused gaze back to his boot, the toe of which is positioned just in front of your aching heat. Your breath hitches and your eyes go wide as you finally realize: he wants to pleasure himself to the sight of you getting yourself off on his boot.
All at once, it falls into place how he wants the night to unfold. He wants to deny you. Deny you of his touch, his cock, even the privilege of making him feel good yourself⊠all because you acted out, disobeyed him, tested his limits.
âWe understand each other, darlinâ?â
âY-yes, DaddyâŠâ You meet his eyes as you speak, voice coming out a little unsteady. Any confidence you had while you were teasing him this afternoon is long gone, fully submitting to him now and completely at his mercy. He didnât need to fuck you in order to put you in your place, he knew plenty of other much more degrading ways to rid you of your bratty attitude, to remind you of who you belong to.
You position your cunt over the filthy toe of his boot, the gusset of your lacy panties now completely saturated with your wetness. Your hands planted on either side of his leg, you try an experimental grind onto the leather-covered steel. A bolt of electricity shoots from your swollen clit to your fevered cheeks, burning with the eroticism of being made to humiliate yourself like this. He allows you to wrap your arms around his calf, using his sturdy form as leverage to rub yourself harder and faster against the solid material.Â
âLook at you, humpinâ my boot like a fuckinâ dog⊠thatâs just what yâ are, ainât it? Daddyâs lilâ puppyâŠâ he teases, spurring you on with his words and the indecent sounds of his wet fist working along his thick cock.
You let out an involuntary yelp at the new pet name, which heâs quick to catch with a huff through his nose.
âOh, she likes that, donât she? Yâ like that, sweetheart, beinâ Daddyâs good girl, his obedient lilâ puppy? Yeah, I know yâ do⊠I got you trained good, donât I? Do just about anything I want, wonât you? Got you rubbinâ that slutty pussy on my fuckinâ boot, for Christâs sake, barely even had to ask⊠fuckinâ pathetic.â
The degradation makes your stomach swirl with a cocktail of embarrassment and pleasure. Your cunt flutters as you continue your frantic movements, releasing broken whimpers that sound something like uh huh and yes, Daddy. Youâre sure that your slick has to be dripping down his boot by now, soaking straight through the leather and pooling onto the hardwood. You wonder if he might punish you for that, too, for making a mess of him and your freshly mopped floors. Just the thought of it has your hips picking up the pace, desperate to reach your high.
Your eyes are shut tightly as you pursue your orgasm, but you can still hear the shallow pumps of Joelâs fist and his stuttering breaths that indicate heâs close to his own release.
âYeah, grind that sloppy fuckinâ puppy cunt on Daddyâs boot, there ya go⊠lookinâ like a goddamn bitch in heat⊠desperate whore⊠câmon, puppy, make a fuckinâ mess for meâŠâ
âIâm gonna cum, Daddy, gonnaââ
Just as you feel yourself about to crest the wave of your climax, he pulls his foot out from under you and yanks your head back by another fistful of hair.
âOpen up, puppy,â he groans as he splashes his hot release all over your face, aiming most of it around your mouth as you cry out from the denial of your own pleasure.
âLook at you, filthy girl⊠So pretty for Daddy, all covered in me,â he coos as the last few milky drops land on your cheek. Before any of it can start to drip, he scoops it up with his thumb and feeds it to you a bit at a time, and you continue to suck his finger into your eager mouth once again.
When your face is fully cleaned of his spend, he pulls his thumb from between your lips for a final time with a pop, and you stick out your tongue to show him youâve swallowed everything heâs given you.Â
âGood girl,â he praises, petting the side of your hair in soothing strokes. âWhat do you say to Daddy, hm?â
âTh-thank youâŠâ you choke out, still trying to steady your voice.
âAnd what else?â he asks.
You take a deep breath. âAnd⊠Iâm sorry, Daddy,â you relent.
âFor what, sweet girl?â
This was always your least favorite part, the part you struggled with the most: admitting that you were wrong.Â
âFor being a brat today, for not listening and disrespecting youâŠâ Your posture deflates, wondering if you should continue your confession. You remember one of the ground rules that was laid out when you first entered this dynamic with him, the one about how important communication is, and decide to keep going. âI jusâ feel like youâve hardly paid any attention to me the past few daysâŠâ You start to sniffle as you speak, the overwhelm of it all finally catching up with you.
âOhâŠâ he breathes sympathetically. âHere, can you stand up, babygirl? Câmon, come sit on Daddyâs lap for a minute.â
He offers you his hands, and you use them to push yourself up onto shaky legs, feeling like a newborn foal. You wrap your arms around his neck and he scoops you up, carrying you bridal-style back to your cozy spot on the couch. He situates you in his lap, wrapping you up in your blanket again, and you bury your face in the warm expanse of skin between his shoulder and neck. You inhale through your nose, smiling to yourself and sighing contentedly when your senses are flooded with his natural comforting smell.
âI know Iâve been workinâ some real late nights recently⊠Iâm sorry about that, honey,â he apologizes, rubbing comforting circles around your upper back.Â
ââS okay, Daddy, âs not your fault,â you say into his skin.
âBut I shoulda made more of an effort to give you some lovinâ anyway, I shouldnât have had to wait for you to brat on me⊠Look at me, baby.â You lift your head and meet his sincere gaze, his eyes flicking back and forth between yours. âIâm sorry, darlinâ.â
âIâm sorry too, Daddy.â
âI know yâ are, sweet girl, I knowâŠâ
You exchange warm smiles, and he curls his pointer finger under your chin to pull your face toward his, placing a delicate kiss to your lips. He settles both of his large hands on either side of your face before breaking the kiss to press your foreheads together. You close your eyes and try to match his breathing, enjoying this moment with him.
After a minute or so, you break the silence. âSo⊠puppy, huh? Thatâs a new one,â you giggle.
He laughs and releases your face from his hold, meeting your eyes again. âJusâ wanted to try somethinâ new, I guessâŠâ He snakes a hand under the blanket, thumbing over the damp crotch of your panties. âAnd judginâ by this lilâ mess down here, I take it you liked it. Hm, pretty girl?â
Still sensitive from your earlier denial, you let out a high pitched little whine and an involuntary buck of your hips into his hand.
âSee? Even sound like a lilâ puppy⊠Daddyâs good girl. You want Daddy to train you, babygirl, you wanna be his pretty lilâ pet?â
âUh huh, yes, Daddy, pleaseâŠâ Your face is buried in his chest as you rut into his hand, squeezing it between your thighs, back to the same place you were just before he pulled his boot out from underneath you.
âDaddy was so mean earlier, wasnât he? Not lettinâ you cum, punishinâ you for actinâ up⊠But I think youâve learned your lesson now, huh puppy? Câmon, sweet girl, let go, soak Daddyâs handâŠâ
And you do. With his permission, you cry out, muscles spasming and cunt twitching as you finally ride out the climax youâve been chasing all night. Youâre panting by the time you start to come down after what feels like several minutes, exhaustion hitting you hard all at once. When some of your awareness has come back to you, you realize that Joel is gently rocking you back and forth on his lap, petting the back of your head and gently shushing in your ear.
âShh, shh, youâre alright, babygirl, I gotcha, Daddyâs gotcha⊠So good for me, baby, my precious girlâŠâ
When your breathing evens out once more, you muster the strength to lift your head from its place against his heart, and he chuckles at the sleepy and sated look on your face as you blink slowly at him.
âMy lilâ puppyâs all tuckered out, huh? Letâs get you up to bed, darlinâ, Daddyâll tuck you in.â
He stands up with a groan, cradling you in his muscled arms, and carries you into the bedroom. Youâre already drifting off to sleep when he sits you on the bed, carefully stripping you of your ruined underwear and helping you into a clean, sensible pair of cotton undies. He retrieves one of his oversized âMiller Contractingâ shirts from his drawer and slips it over your head, helping your weak arms through the sleeves. Brushing your hair away from your face, he places a scruffy kiss to your hairline and helps you lay down onto the cool sheets. He pulls the covers up all the way over your shoulders, the way he knows you like, and smiles to himself when you burrow yourself into the sheets.
He takes a quick shower to rid himself of the grime and grit he collected on his skin during the day, and slips into bed beside you. Another private smile and a small shake of his head when you instinctually turn to face him and snuggle into his warm body, wrapping your arms around the breadth of his upper arm and inhaling the masculine cologne of his body wash.
He reaches across his chest to gently scratch at the top of your head, prompting a dreamy little noise from you. âJust like I said,â he whispers to himself, âa lilâ puppy.â
He wouldnât have you any other way.
not really sure who to tag for this one, gonna use the same list from my last fic if that's okay!! anyone else please let me know if you'd like to be tagged on my future fics!!
tag list: @beefrobeefcal @gracieispunk @iamasaddie @rebel-held
#my writing#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x you#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#daddy!joel miller#joel miller smut
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DENY PART 3
oh my god ok here is part three to my little deny series. i also have a moodboard i've been making for this series so lmk if you wanna see it.
divider by @saradika and i've reblogged their post of it if you want to seem more of their dividers as they're so cute!!!
this part contains smut and is 18+ so MDNI please and thank you.
cw: p in v, unprotected sex (always imagine a contraceptive is used bc this will never be a pregnancy fic), dirty talk, clit slapping (just once)
click to read part one and part two. :)
dreams (nsfw 18+)
"look at you baby, creamin' around popes cock." jj moans at the sight in front of him.
"mmh feels good" you whine. hardly able to form words other than little uh uhs from how good pope is fucking you. his dick so deep you can feel it in your throat.
pope is a panting sweaty mess as he shoves his thick cock back into your sopping wet pussy. jj sitting behind you while pope takes you in missionary.
the feeling of jjs hands all over your sensitive body has your nerve endings on fire. you can feel his hard dick poking your back but he doesn't care about his pleasure right now, he only wants to see you and pope go over the edge of orgasmic pleasure.
"i'm close, pope please" you whine pathetically, jj pinching your nipples harder, sucking spots onto your neck.
"yeah? you gonna cum on my dick pretty girl?" pope asks with a grin. you like this side of him, his cockiness. he's been spending too much time with jj.
"please pope. wanna cum."
"should we let her cum handsome?" jj inquires and you let out another pathetic whine because you want it now! you don't wanna wait.
"yeah she's been such a good girl, haven't you?" pope responds
"yes! yes i'm a good girl i swear. i'm good right j?" you feel yourself squeezing popes dick harder in your tight little pussy. jj moans into the nape of your neck.
"yeah baby you can cum" the boys agree.
pope picks up his pace, dick hitting that squishy spongey spot inside you that makes you see stars.
"cum with me, pretty." pope demands
you don't need to be asked twice because next thing you know jj is squeezing you tighter, his fingers playing with your puffy abused clit, popes cock hitting your cervix with every thrust. you feel it building and building until jj smacks your clit with his fingers and you release.
you're screaming and shaking, clenching so tight that pope follows you seconds after. shooting his cum deep inside you, filling you with his warmth. you feel warm wetness on your back and part of you recognizes that jj also came, untouched, but you're too fucked out to really comprehend.
"grace" you hear your name but blood is rushing in your ears from the best orgasm you've ever had.
"grace!" you hear again but louder. it sounds distorted.
"jeeze, grace wake up!" you feel something soft thump on your face and next thing you know you're waking up with an annoyed groan. a pillow someone had thrown at you laying on your face, blocking your view of whatever rat bastard woke you from the best wet dream you've ever had.
"were you having a good dream princess?" you hear jjs cocky voice ask before you remove the pillow that's blocking your view.
"ya'we're makin lil noises too, wanna tell us about 'em?" the blonde boy teases.
you roll your eyes, used to jjs horny teasing when you comprehend his words. us. he said tell us.
you quickly sit up, pulling the blanket higher up your body as you take in the surroundings of your room. you see jj smirking with red cheeks and behind him is pope, fidgeting with his hands and tapping his feet.
"for your information i was having a good dream. why the fuck did you wake me!" you ask, exasperated. you're desperately trying not to feel the wetness between your thighs that has very clearly soaked through your cotton sleep shorts.
"you uh-" pope starts "you were saying our names."
"more like moaning them," jj snickers. you feel your face grow warm. "it was hot princess."
jjs words make you take in the two boys, inspecting every inch of them. jj has a very prominent bulge that he's not even trying to hide whereas pope is a little more reserved with his obvious boner but it's there nonetheless.
"umm what's going on?" the look jj gives you makes your tummy flutter and your nipples pebble. you want to blame the cool air but your room is stifling hot and you know the reaction is because of the maybank boy.
"what's happening is we came here to talk to you and walked in on you moanin our names princess. what do you have to say for yourself?" your cunt clenches at his words.
"jj- we were going to be subtle about this!" pope hisses, not wanting to scare you with their potential proposal.
"many people have wet dreams, jj. doesn't mean anything!" you respond with false confidence. completely ignoring whatever pope had just said.
"wanna make it a reality?" jj says, tone sultry as he leans in closer to your face. he looks at your lips like he wants to devour you.
you gasp and pull away, looking at pope with guilt.
this causes pope to walk over to the other side of the bed and join the two of you on it. he softly grabs your hand and your mind is spinning. you don't know what's happening because just a few days ago you saw the two kissing like their life depended on it and now jj is making a pass at you and pope looks like he wants you too? what. the. fuck.
"this isn't how it was supposed to go. we wanted to make it romantic but... i really like you grace," pope utters "we both really like you. more than a friend and we're hoping maybe you like us too?" pope gushes all in one breath is a very pope-like fashion.
the confession makes your brain short circuit because this is all you have ever wanted. you peek a look over to jj and he's nodding with a surprisingly soft smile he's always typically reserved for you.
"you both like me?" you think you're still dreaming
"yeah princess. i've only like been in love with you for forever" jj smiles softly. your heart soars.
"and you both like each other too, right?" you ask wanting to hear it being admitted out loud so there's no room for miscommunication.
"yeah pretty girl," pope responds and the nickname makes you flush, thinking back to your dream. "it's called polyamory."
"and not like those cult religions where a dude has like 50 wives" jj cuts in. "pope gave me a thorough lecture in the difference between polyamory and polygamy"
"i know what polyamory is jj" you giggle with a roll of your eyes. you still don't think this is real.
"so we would all be dating? like together? you'll be my boyfriends and eachothers boyfriends and i'll be your girlfriend?"
"correct, if you want us" pope confirms.
"of course i fucking want you!" you shout a little louder than you intended. "i've been half in love with you since we kissed and i think i've always loved you jj. seeing the two of you together made me so jealous and then sad and then jealous again! so yes of course i want you!"
the boys give you blinding smiles, the worry of potentially ruining your friendship disappears.
you lean forward and grab both boys in front of you. pulling them in. you need to feel their touch and their heat just to prove to yourself this is real and not some fantasy you've created to process your emotions.
"please kiss me" you breathily ask, which prompts both boys to lean in to kiss you at the same time, effectively making them bonk heads. it makes you giggle at their clumsy eagerness. your giggles prompt them to share the laugh as they tenderly touch their heads.
jj kisses you first and you feel the cliche sparks and fireworks. like everything you've ever wanted want given to you with just one kiss.
"don't hog her!" pope whines and he gently pulls you away from jj so he can have a turn.
popes kiss is different but not less perfect. he takes your breath away and you've never felt more loved sitting here in between the two boys you care so much about.
"now whose hogging her!" jj grumbles and leans in to peck pope on the cheek.
this is going to be so much fun.
AHHH WHAT DID YOU THINK??? i'm having so much fun with this.
tag list: (lmk if you wanna be added) đ
@theoraekenslover
@redhead1180
#jj maybank#obx#outer banks#pope heyward#jj maybank x reader#my headcanons#jj maybank x oc#pope x reader x jj#pope heyward x reader#imagine#smut#jjpope#jj maybank smut#pope heyward smut
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ᄫᥠA Strangers Heart
đ âI think itâs strange you never knew || A stranger light comes on slowly || A strangers heart without a homeâ â Mazzy Star
Playlist â that minx ! đ | Moodboard
Itadori Yuji x Fem!Reader
Words â 9.6k
Cw â mentions of violence, mentions of alcohol, mentions of catcalling, strangers to reluctant friends to lovers, no animal death I changed my mind but forgot to remove the tag oops, foul language, leads are both 16, a 20yo hits on reader heâs creepy asl, reader sort of inspired by Kat Stratford, aesthetic is Maxine minx inspired, not proofread, lmk if I missed any !!
Another summer, another hick on your farm desperate for an extra buck. Except, this time, somethingâs different. It isnât just some douchey, approval seeking suck up chasing your father around and spending his extra time hoping youâll hop on something other than your horse. This oneâs different. And when late night bonfires and early morning horse rides turn into something more, whatâs a girl to do with only a few weeks left?
a/n â ik most people lwk donât fw Yuji like that but PLSSS give me a chanceâŠ. Iâm not even that attracted to Yuji I just love him sm heâs so silly. I had to write a cute lil (not so lil⊠oops) farm Yuji fic :(( honestly my first ever fic thatâs more than 2k words but I yapped hard here. Donât judge chat donât judge!!!! If u read this Iâll kiss u on the mouth I promise
By definition, summer was that warm chunk of the year spent basking in sunlight, free of the stress that came with education and growth. It was cold beer and campfires and sleeping from dawn to dusk, being awake at the call of the night. Everyone always talked of their vacations, their countless hours spent at the side of their friends (if you could even call them that, it was more so anyone that they could gather up) with no regard for responsibility at all.
In a way, your personal summer was as said. But simultaneously, it was far, far different. To you, summer was stargazing and picking strawberries and riding bareback through the forest. Summer was the thrill of driving down the gravel road, screaming as loud as you wanted to. It wasnât like you were disturbing anyone, anyway. Nobody was around for miles, aside from the crazy old couple living by the church and the Kugisaki family, whose youngest was usually in your passenger seat. It was the crimson tint left on your lips after a long day of lounging and snacking on the cherries youâd picked up from the market just the day before. Summer was blissful, free.
Summer was also fucking annoying.
With every summer came more activity on the ranch. Your father was a simple man, he could handle his own farm, but sometimes things got too much. The summer brought on more horseshows, more wild animals itching to sink their teeth into the livestock, and the sticky uncomfortableness that came with every move. So, the staff consisted of just a few more people. The year rounds were you and your father of course, as well as two of his close friends. More your uncles than anything, if youâre honest. Occasionally they brought their wives or their kids, and if they were chill enough, that wasnât a bother. Others came and went, barely spared a second glance by you. The one problem came with summer, the need for an extra set of hands bringing excuses for more pests to wriggle their way into your peaceful farm. The summer workers.
It was only one or two boys, only two months of the year, but they had much more of an effect than one would assume. Your father was a wealthy man, he was generous with his pay. When word spread of this âas much as it could in this scattered excuse of a town, at leastâ the power hungry assholes scrambled for their place. Usually it was aspiring cowboys decked out in shiny buckles and enough leather to make you a new back seat, hoping that doing well enough would get them on your familyâs good side, get them âinâ, as they said. It never worked. Your father may seem arrogant, but he isnât stupid. Itâs easy to see a peacocks intentions when it bares its feathers at you.
Often times, when they realized that their consistent efforts werenât doing much good, they chose another form of preoccupation. You. You and your babydoll tops and sunkissed skin and bows in your hair that seemed to work in your deceit were often a target of various wolf whistles and not-so-creative rewording of asking what colour underwear you were hiding beneath your jeans. Even when they were warned, told stories of what happened to the rest of them, they persisted.
âDonât be fooled,â theyâd been told. âSheâs tough as nails. Sheâll stab you with âem, too. Ever wonder why she hangs around that Kugisaki girl?â
Fools.
It wasnât your fault, really! You can only take so many catcalls, so many sly comments laced with thick southern accents until you find them looking conveniently punchable, and then youâre washing your knuckles of a red substance, either strawberry juices or blood depending on the day. It wasnât like you didnât make a point to avoid them, in fact, you might even be considered harsh for it. Better to be safe than sorry. You always ended up sorry though, somehow. As they lay on the ground below you (hopefully not in the manure pile) clutching their ever so precious faces, you almost feel a pang of sympathy. But then a profanity falls from their lips like itâs the most natural thing in the world and you remember who youâre looking at.
âNew intern starts today,â your dad says, glancing up at you from the plate of sausages and pancakes youâd thrown together for him. You felt a need to groan, and for a moment you were convinced youâd let it slip, your father raising a brow and giving you a pointed look. âDonât hit this one with your car.â
âI told you that was an accident, daddy!â you rolled your eyes, letting your fork fall onto your plate with a soft clang. Your shoulders slumped, letting out a huff of disdain. He simply shook his head, though the just barely hidden curl of his lips didnât go unnoticed by you.
âSure,â he said. âAccident or not, any more blood hits this property, youâre in shit. We canât keep trusting they wonât call the cops.â
Yeah, sure. You doubt the police would do much anyway, they barely existed out here, let alone acted. Though you knew arguing was pointless, so you pushed your pride to the bottom of your priority list and nodded.
âYeah, âkay. Stop hiring assholes and weâd have much less problems, though.â
âHmph.â
đŒ
âAnother one?â
âI know. Iâm surprised they keep cominâ with how they all end up leaving,â you said, a grin tugging at your lips. You tossed your head back, shutting your eyes and letting your face bathe in the sunlight. You were sprawled out over a heap of hay, the compressed cubes scratchy against the exposed skin of your limbs. It dragged over the bottom of your thighs with every movement, kneading into your hair if you werenât careful enough.
Nobara eyed you, her expression mirroring yours. Considering the two of you were pretty much attached at the hip, sheâd gotten to see all of the reality TV worthy strategies youâd come up with to rid your farm of the parasites known as farmhands. There werenât many people around these parts of the country, you could count two neighbours, only one whose house you could spot from yours. So that one neighbour having a girl your age was a luckily miracle, your friendship was fate. Not to mention you actually enjoyed her company, too.
âHey, maybe youâll get lucky this year. Maybe itâs a gentleman come to sweep you off your feet and whisk you away to the city, make you a housewife,â she grinned, orange hair shining in the sunlight as you met her eye.
âYou and the city,â you rolled your eyes, picking a stray piece of hay and lazily tossing it at her. âAs if.â
If there were any differences between you and Nobara, that was the largest one. She longed for the city, was desperate for it. You were sure the moment she got the chance, sheâd pack up and leave. She was a city girl at heart and everyone knew it. You, on the other hand, were perfectly content with your little farm life and intended on keeping it that way. It had always been that way.
âForgive me for not wanting my cause of death to be a horses foot,â she grumbled, though no real malice lingered in her tone. You shook your head, shook off her words.
A comfortable silence settled over you, the distant whirring of tractors and the pounding of hooves against dirt fading to background noise. You gazed out over the field, the stables parallel to the barn the two of you were leaned up on. Then, you noticed something. An unfamiliar head of hair, attached to a boy who was holding the reins of a horse, leading it towards the building youâd been looking at. Had it been brown or black you wouldâve paid no mind, but it was pink. Was that natural?
âWell, there he is.â
âOur mortal enemy for the next two months.â
He paused, seeming to feel your eyes on him. He turned, spotted you, eyes narrowing as the bright sun shined into them. And then, he smiled. It was big and bright and warm, a stark contrast to the wolfish, greedy smirks you were used to receiving. His eyes crinkled at the sides, his irises almost as welcoming as his grin. You felt something odd in your chest.
He was still your enemy. You were sure. Just⊠maybe he was worth giving a chance.
đŒ
The sifting of dirt beneath your feet made a soft sound as you walked, doing little to warn the salmon haired boy of your presence. You came to a halt behind him, and you were beginning to think he was a little too spatially unaware to work on a farm, because he still didnât turn around. He was busy tending to the horse, gently brushing through the chestnut fur. You had an urge to clear your throat, but the guy was unaware either way, so you chose the more efficient route.
âWhatâs your name?â you asked, your voice cutting through the otherwise quiet atmosphere. He flinched, head turning in your direction all too quickly. Upon seeing your face, his guard seemed to be let down, a more relaxed expression taking the place of the startled one from moments earlier. He was silent for a moment, seemed to be caught in some sort of trance. Only when you cocked a brow in question did he realize, a somewhat bashful grin on his lips.
âOh- Iâm Yuji. Itadori. Youâre⊠Mr. [l/n]âs daughter, right?â
You gave a nod, somewhat curt. You didnât want to waste your breath being too nice, not if he was going to be like the rest of the piggish teenage boys hanging around every summer. Truth be told, you werenât mean, just guarded. Especially with men, youâd grown a sort of buried resentment towards them, as much as you hated to admit it. That was a story to later be told, though.
âThatâs right. Youâre here for the summer, yeah?â you asked. It was better to be sure you were correct about his role here, to prevent looking stupid in the case that you were somehow wrong.
He nodded. âHey, youâre my age, arenât you?â
âSixteen?â
He nodded, his cautious smile turning to a full grin. You could basically hear his thoughts jumping out of his mind, screaming at you.
âThat doesnât make us friends,â you said, hip popping out to the side as your arms crossed over your chest. âJust so you know.â Why did you feel such a need to push him away? Were you always this defensive?
âEh?â He gazed at you for a moment, eyes narrowing a fracture as if he were figuring you out. His hand had stilled, the brush now resting pointlessly against the fur of the horse. ââŠokay,â he shrugged. Though for a moment, it was like he knew something you didnât. That sparkle of determination in his eyes was all you needed to see to know exactly what his motive was.
đŒ
The moment Yuji Itadori set his eyes on you, his purpose for the next two months was set in stone. This goal wasnât to harass you, to make your life a living hell. It wasnât even to annoy you, or to make you fall in love with him. It was to make you his friend, make you like him. He wanted to prove to you that he wasnât the loser you seemed to take him for (even if he was). Yuji wasnât one to suffer and dwell on those who didnât like him, he could deal with that, even if it bothered him some. Being the outgoing and kind guy he was, it wasnât something he dealt with often, anyway. It was the fact that he could tell you didnât hate him that drew him to you, he wanted to know why you put on that act.
The interactions started small, like a thrown comment about the shirt you were wearing or the offer to help you out with whatever chore youâd been tasked with. That was his job after all, so you couldnât tell him off for that. Heâd hang around you and Nobara, and as much as it pained you to say, she was warming up to him. Maybe you were, too. It had only been two weeks, for fucks sake! Heâd already weaseled his way into your life, you couldnât escape him. Your dad loved him, his boyish nature being something your father always sought out in his workers. Probably the longing for a son, honestly. You knew it wasnât a jab at you, he loved you with his whole heart, but every man wanted a son in the same way every woman wanted a daughter. It was that familiarity of who he once was.
Because of this, the little fucker had even begun eating with you.
âHey, Mr [l/n]!â came a voice, a head popping in through the side door. Your dad suppressed a grin at the sight of him, looking over his shoulder from where he stood beside you, seasoning the meat as you chopped vegetables. You didnât bother looking back, it was always the same person anyway.
âYuji,â your father greeted, nodding at him in acknowledgment. Yuji stepped inside, smiling mindlessly as he glanced around the kitchen. Every time he was in here, it was as if it were his first time seeing the place. You didnât understand what was so fascinating about your old western kitchen, anyway.
The phone on the wall rang, and you momentarily dropped the green onion you were slicing to answer it. You assumed that was your job, considering your fatherâs hands were covered in various spices and seasonings.
You grabbed the dull beige telephone, the coiling chord extending out as you raised it to your ear.
âDaddy,â you said, placing your hand over the microphone of the device. âThey need you down at the Kugisakiâs. Their fence broke.â
He nodded, placing your uncooked dinner back down on a plate and moving to rinse his hands, the leaky tap in front of the window sputtering out some water. That was country life for you.
You picked the phone back up, alerting Nobaraâs grandmother of your dadâs pending arrival and saying a quick goodbye. Yuji still stood by the door, watching the whole interaction. You were much calmer in the comfort of your own home, when darkness creeped over the sky and the stimulation of the bustling ranch wasnât ringing in your ears.
A mischievous grin crossed your face, making your father groan. He knew exactly what you were going to ask, and he knew he wasnât going to be able to say no. âIâll pick up Nobara while Iâm there,â he grumbled, though as he stepped out the door, turned back with a pointing finger in the air. âWake me up after dark again and Iâm throwinâ both of yous in the corn field.â
You watched with a snarky grin as he walked away, hopping into the worn down truck sitting in the driveway.
Then, you looked just a few inches to the side. Oh. Yuji was still here.
You opted to not pay him much mind, taking the few short strides from where the phone sat on the wall. You took up your task of preparing dinner once again, knife in your hand as and chopped up various veggies and sides.
âYou need help with that?â he called, not bothering to wait for an answer as he took an onion from where it was sat on the counter. He grabbed a knife as well, beginning to chop it.
âI never said yes,â you said, observing him from the corner of your eye. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbow, dirt staining various parts of his clothes, which you assumed was the doing of your horse. She wasnât fond of men.
He pouted in mock offence, placing a hand over his heart as if he was physically pained. âWow, just kill me I guess. I figured some help wouldnât hurt.â
He wasnât exactly wrong, though you wouldâve protested a little more before admitting that. A defence was on the tip of your tongue, but you bit it before the words could leave your lips. Over the time youâd known him (or rather, heâd been inserting himself into your days and forcing you to hang around him) the disdain in your tone had faded, becoming more sassy than resentful. That was progress in his mind.
ââŠthank you.â
His lips curled into a smile, momentarily taking a gander at you before looking back to the knife in his hand. ââWelcome.â
Aside from the rhythmic chopping of blades against the wood of the cutting boards, the room was silent. There was a dull hum coming from the refrigerator, though youâd grown used to it. It was a constant noise in the background, it had been since you were born, even before that.
âWould you mind putting this in the microwave for a moment?â you asked, noticing his free hands. You gently nudged a dish towards him, the fork youâd been using to chip away at the dish sticking out of the top. It was in desperate need of defrosting, a little nudge in the right direction wouldnât hurt, right?
He nodded. âAlright,â he said, picking up the platter. His next moves were unknown to you, your back turned to him as he âsupposedlyâ popped it into the microwave. The sound of the buttons being pushed accompanied by the robotic whir of the machine started alerted you of such.
âYou cook often?â Yuji said, leaning back on the counter. âYouâre good at it.â You picked up the diced bits of vegetable and put them into a separate bowl, dusting your hands of the remnants of them. You allowed yourself to face him, to actually give him your attention for a moment. Heâd proven that he was worthy of that much, at least.
âUsually,â you said, mirroring his stance. Your palms pressed into the edge of the counter, the marble cold against your skin. âDaddyâs always busy, but he helps sometimes.â
He nodded. He may have been lacking a couple brain cells, but he knew well enough not to ask why it was only you and your dad. He wasnât that stupid. He couldnât help but wonder, though.
Sensing his curiosity, you let out a soft sigh. âI never knew momma. Just me âround here.â
He looked surprised to hear you say it, as if the question wasnât written all over his face. He was more surprised how willing you were to share it, though. He thought youâd hit him with your car or something if he dared to ask, thought you viewed him like the rest. He barely lived a similar life to yours and heâd still heard the stories, but it was rather obvious that something was being left out. Maybe you werenât such a maneater after all, maybe there was a good reason. There was.
âOh,â he said. He opened his mouth to speak, but your attention was quickly moved elsewhere when you saw a faint flickering of electricity in the window of the microwave.
âYuji!â you lurched forward, opening it in a haste. Inside it was revealed to be the dish youâd given him, just as it had been. Just as it had been, as in the fork was still inside. You mentally facepalmed, closing your eyes and bringing your fingers up to pinch the bridge of your nose.
âYouâre kidding me.â
âWhat?â he asked. Your head shot up. Was he serious? He seemed to know his way around the kitchen just fine, you were even a little impressed. How could he be so familiar yet so⊠unaware?
âYou put a fork in the microwave. You canât do that,â you sighed, the second sentence coming out more condescending than you intended.
ââŠOh.â
A beat of silence passed, a dumbfounded, somewhat embarrassed expression on his face. It was comical. Suddenly you felt the irresistible urge to laugh, the chortle leaving your lips before you could bring yourself to stop it. He just looked hilarious like that, and you were growing sick of withholding your amusement.
He somehow looked even more confused, though when he realized this was the first time heâd seen you laugh (save for the chuckles and giggles you shared with Nobara when you thought he wasnât looking), the corners of his lips couldnât help but quirk up. âWhat? Why are we laughing? Whatâs funny?â
Through hearty giggles, you managed to stutter out the first thing that came to mind. âYouâre- youâre dumb. You know that?â
His mind buffered for a moment, staring at you blankly. You almost thought he was offended, but then, that thought was quickly washed away. A breath left him, soon turning into full belly laughs that matched yours. Soon enough the two of you were doubling over in laughter, falling all over the tile kitchen floor. You barely even knew what you were laughing at anymore, all you knew was Yujiâs stupid face and the unwelcome feeling of warmth youâd began feeling every time he was near.
You were so distracted that you failed to notice the two figures standing in the door, the two closest people to you. Your best friend and your father watched the two of you as you nearly clutched eachother in laughter. They didnât know what was so hilarious, but they knew one thing. That one thing was shared in a short glance, teenage girl and burly man connected by one thing: you.
Later that night, Nobara ever so boldly brought him up. The two of you were sat in your bedroom, some calm music playing from the radio on your dresser as you mindlessly chatted away.
âSo⊠you seem to like Yuji better than the rest.â
You glanced at her from where you sat at the head of your bed, her sprawled frame over the covers making a pang of amusement shoot through your chest. You shrugged. âWell, he hasnât tried to get in my pants, so I think that automatically means somethinâ, doesnât it?â you asked, something beneath your words saying âduhâ.
She let out a huff of laughter, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. âIt means no new dents in your bumper?â
âExactly.â
The two of you shared a laugh, the muted red checkers of your bedding being crinkled with the movement. She grinned, âRemind me to make you drink more often.â
Your eye twitched, slapping a hand over her mouth and letting out a hurried âShhhhh!â
She let out muffled protests against the skin of your palm, eyes narrowing. The feeling of her teeth readying to sink into it was enough to make you remove it, though, knowing that she wasnât playing around. She did it once, sheâd do it again. She was still the same kid she was ten years ago at heart.
âMy dad is in the next room, stupid. Believe it or not, Iâm not supposed to get in my truck after two beers and some Baileyâs.â
âOops,â she said, smiling in feigned innocence. You could punch her. You let out a sigh, flopping back against your headboard.
âBack to my point,â she began. âYou seem to⊠not hate him. And I think he likes you.â She propped herself up on her elbow, orange hair falling to the side. It brushed over her shoulder, the delicate fabric of her (your) pyjama shirt moving at the contact.
You nearly choked on your spit. That had been the last thing youâd expected her to say, and you were expecting many things. Was she actually stupid or something? I mean, you called her that a lot, but you never genuinely meant it. You were starting to believe your own words.
âHush. Donât say dumb shit like that.â
âItâs true! Heâs got to have a thing for you, at least. Come on,â she groaned. She was real sick of your denial whenever it came to being liked. You always shut it down, always dismissed her with an eyeroll and shake of the head. She always assumed it was because you didnât like the guys, deemed it an insult to be of their interest, but this was different. This guy was good.
You shook your head, just like you always did. âHeâs just friendly like that, Nobara. Donât be silly.â
She quirked a brow, a devious smile hinting at her lips. âOh, so you notice him enough to know that, huh?â
You tossed your head back, your skull hitting the worn wood of the headboard. âOh my gosh, shut up! I can never win with you!â
âDamn right.â
đŒ
The sun was yet to be high in the sky, casting a soft golden glow over the expanse of the farmland. The sky was painted orange and pink, clouds strewn about the soft canvas of the sunrise. Your boots thumped against the ground as you walked, passing over gravel, grass, and dirt alike. You approached the stable that was home to your horse, the smaller structure coming into view. Beside it was the barn; the place that held the other animals aside from the horses. On the other side of it was a fence, closing in an area for them to roam freely.
You swung open the door to the building, taking note of a birds nest in the nook of the roof that you hadnât seen before. The ground was littered with hay and bugs, the occasional spider skittering across a floorboard.
You made your way to your horses stall, the word âMatrixâ carved into a silver nametag on the door. You slid into the small, enclosed space, shutting the clunky sliding door behind you. You lovingly patted your dear horse, a warm smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
Once she was decked out in her reins and saddle, you lead her out of the stable. Youâd grown all too used to this routine, setting off into the sunrise every morning you got the chance. It was your peace, the moment of the day that felt like you were on top of the world. Like everything was yours to have, to keep, yours to live and experience and laugh and love in.
You had just made it to the gate at the back, the one leading to the trails within the clusters of trees that separated yours and Nobaraâs house, when you halted. Something caught your eye, the silhouette of someone sitting atop the fence just a few paces behind you. Yuji. Of course he was here, he was always here. The thing that bothered you most was that you were beginning to question if that was a negative thing or not.
He called out your name, waving tall and proud as if he was miles away instead of a few short metres. He hopped down from the fence, and you were honestly surprised the wood was holding up so well. You were wealthy, yes, but there were many things around this place that needed either a good fixing or to be completely replaced one of those things was that fence, most likely because it wasnât paid much attention at all.
âWhereâre you going?â he asked once heâd caught up to you, hands resting in his pockets. There was an early morning chill blanketing the air, seeping into your bones further with every gust of wind.
âA ride,â you said, beginning to walk again now that he was at your side.
âWell, I see that. Where?â he pushed. He was a little more sassy than youâd expected, honestly. The ball of sunshine could bite back when he wanted to. You suppressed a grin, glancing at him over your shoulder.
âThrough the forest. Sâreal nice at this hour.â
He let out a hum, nodding. He looked over the stretch of the treeline, where the earth met the sky and formed a pattern of the zigzags and spikes that were the tips of great pine plants.
âWhatâre you doing up, Yuji?â you asked, attempting to sound less interested than you actually were. Youâd given up the act of disliking him, but you still kept your distance. What was the point of getting close, anyway? You only had 5 weeks left of him, so to keep him at arms length was the most logical thing to do.
He smiled. âI always see you out here. I wanted to see what that was all about.â
Heâd⊠been paying attention? Come out here for you? You hated the way that made your heart thump against your chest, that attentiveness and interest in you something you werenât even sure teenage boys were capable of.
âStalker,â you said, smirking. The both of you knew you didnât mean it, you couldnât hide it if you tried. You passed through the gate, the bright red metal clanging against the lock as it shut behind you. He followed you, silent for the first time in⊠forever?
You situated a foot in one of the stirrups, swiftly throwing yourself upward and swinging your leg over to the other side of your horse. It was a split second before you were sitting comfortably in the saddle, no struggle at all. Yuji always found it mesmerizing, how well you knew your way around these things. He could ride a horse just fine, but not like you. It was as if Matrix was an extension of you, so familiar that it barely took you any effort to have every bit of her all figured out.
You wriggled your hips against the leather beneath you, holding the reins loosely in your grasp.
âYou cominâ or not?â you asked, looking back at a distracted Yuji who perked up immediately at your offer.
âYep! Uh- Wait- hold on!â he shouted in a panic, not wasting a second before darting back to the stables. He was oddly fast, youâd noticed. He seemed to be blessed in the physical department, not that youâd been paying attention or anything⊠he just drew attention to it, okay? Yeah. That was it. Blame the T-Shirts and the rolled up sleeves and the summer heat for causing it, not your wandering eyes.
It was only a couple minutes before he was approaching you once again, saddled horse in tow. He sported a proud grin, one that had grown all too familiar. It was the same as when heâd get you to smile, when you would eat the dinner you cooked together and agree with your father when he complimented it. He wore it when he successfully managed to infiltrate yours and Nobaraâs girl time, and you were sure that when he inevitably convinced you to let him in on everything else, he would wear it then too. That wasnât to say you exactly minded, perchance youâd even grown somewhat fond of it.
The trees provided shade as the two of you walked along the trails, the chirping of awakening birds ringing through your ears.
âYouâre right, itâs nice out here when itâs early,â he said, looking around at the lush trees, eyes sparkling in awe.
âIsnât it?â
You kept walking, though it didnât make much of a difference, the greenery looked the same all around. The red of your wool sweater stuck out against the emerald background, making you look like the centrepiece of an oil painting. At least, thatâs what Yuji thought.
âYuji,â you began, making his head snap to you. Heâd gotten a little distracted by a bird fluttering above you, the flapping of its wings making a crisp noise. âHow come Iâve never seen you around school?â you asked.
âOh, I had to drop out to take care of my grandpa,â he said, looking ahead. He stole a glimpse of you every few seconds, but for once, he avoided your gaze. âHe was sick and⊠heâs all I got left, soâŠâ
Oh. You were silent, blinking away the shock of his reasoning. Youâd expected him to say he went to school in the city, or that he was staying in town for the summer, or⊠something. Something else, something lighter. âIâm sorry.â
He shook his head. âNo, itâs fine. Heâs better now, anyway. Thatâs why Iâm here.â
You nodded, allowing a hint of a smile to cross your face. âThatâs good to hear.â
âGood to hear that Iâm here or that heâs better?â he joked, grinning. He cocked his head to the side, rosy locks of hair rustling with the breeze. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head.
ââŠmaybe both.â
His brows shot up, surprised. Usually such a joke wouldâve been shut down immediately, whether that was by a one finger salute or a straight up order to be quiet. You couldnât help but let out a breathy huff of laughter, realizing that maybe you were a little too mean to the poor boy.
âYou arenât so bad, Yuji.â
To say Yuji beamed was an understatement. Best believe he rode that high for the rest of the day. The rest of the week, maybe. Even when your horse kicked him in the mud and left him looking like a dirty, squashed bug, even after Nobara nearly ran him over whilst learning to drive in your truck and excused it with an âoopsâ and a âyouâre a man, you can take it!â But that was okay, both circumstances were okay, because youâd tended to him after. Well⊠maybe youâd sprayed the mud off of him with the hose like he was a rabid dog, but it was attention nonetheless. Maybe youâd have been nicer if he hadnât chased you around and insisted on giving you a hug, sludge and all. The second time youâd asked if he was okay, played it off with a laugh. Maybe he himself was oblivious to it, but Nobara saw the worry in your eyes. But of course Yuji had responded with a bright smile and a corny thumbs up, which although stupid and boyish, had both eased your nerves and made a dopey smile of your own threaten to appear on your face.
đŒ
âHow can you tell if itâs good or not? Itâs a peach. They all look the same.â
âNo they donât, idiot! Look!â
âBut that literally looks the same?!â
Your two friends bickering was simply background noise to you as you strolled through the humble little market of Chiudam, the closest town to your settlement of farms. Originally, this was supposed to be a solo trip. Keyword: was. Your plans had been spoiled when the happy go lucky, pink haired boy had hopped into your truck the moment he saw you, didnât even bother to ask. An unfortunate chain of events had lead to Nobara joining as well, your smooth drive down to the grocery store turned into what felt like a mobile zoo exhibit.
There you were, actually shopping whilst they argued over peaches.
You let out a sigh under your breath, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. You loved her, but youâd come to realize that whenever Yuji was around, Nobara got increasingly stupider. Honestly, though, you were just happy to see that she was making more friends. She wasnât exactly popular around these parts, her temper had granted that.
âYou guys keep bickering, Iâm gonna check out,â you called back, dropping the last of the items on your list into the basket hanging from your elbow.
You left them in the dust, making your way to the one and only cash register in the shop. You didnât pay much mind to whoever was standing behind it, their back turned as they punched something into a computer at the back wall. You began unloading the groceries, placing them on the counter one by one.
And then, you glanced up. You felt something in you shift, your guard immediately going up.
âFancy seeing you here,â he smirked wolfishly, like a predator looking down on its prey. You sneered, disgust written all over your face.
âKotaro,â you said, a curt greeting. You stood stiffly, expectant as you waited for him to scan your items. Could this guy do his job instead of staring at you like that? His scruffy brown hair nearly touched the flannel draped over his shoulders, and he seemed oddly dirty for a store clerk. Heâd been banned from working on your farm, along with the rest, after being particularly creepy for his entire time there. A hand sliding up your bare leg, inching under the fabric of your sundress, a wolf whistle as you walked by, gross comments behind your back, you name it. A punch in the face and the threat of his downfall didnât seem to bother him, because here he was.
âHavenât seen you around lately,â he said.
You mumbled under your breath, âI wonder why.â
âYou been avoiding me, little lady?â The fact that he was 20 didnât help the way that nickname made you nearly recoil. Coming from anyone else, it was endearing, most often used by role models and father figures. From him it felt much more perverted, much more odd.
âDonât call me that.â
He leaned over the counter, breath nearly wafting over your face. His scratchy, stiff hand was placed on your arm, forbidding you from moving without making a scene. You didnât know why you felt so defenceless. Making a scene had never scared you, but it was different when you were here in public than it was on the outskirts, at your home.
âCome on, you know you like it. Admit it,â he said, voice low and eerie. You pulled away from his grasp, eyes narrowing in a glare. You were about to speak, ready to spit some sort of insult or name at him, but you were cut off.
âI think itâs pretty clear she doesnât like that, man. Take your hands off of her.â
Yuji was just behind you, nose scrunched up as he took in the sight before him. He looked oddly serious, more than youâd ever seen him before. He swatted the manâs hand away, gentle but enough to pry it off. There was a red imprint left on the skin of your arm, the traces of his greed staining the flesh.
Kotaro laughed arrogantly, clearly sizing Yuji up. He puffed out his chest, jaw ticking as he glanced between the two of you. âWhat are you, her boyfriend or somethinâ?â
Yuji paused for a moment, glancing at you as if to ask for permission. He looked back to the social reject standing behind the counter, speaking. âMaybe I am. Whatâs it to you?â
He scoffed, shaking his head. He grumbled to himself, nothing but a gruff murmur under his breath as he scanned the last of your groceries, lazily shoving them into a bag and taking your cash. Nobara joined the two of you once you left, sheâd been waiting outside. As the bell atop the door rang softly through the empty streets, Yuji turned to you.
âAre you okay? Sorry, I uh⊠I didnât know what else to do,â he said, a lopsided grin making its way onto his lips. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he waited for a response, hoping and praying you wouldnât think he was weird for what heâd said. He visibly relaxed when you smiled, a huff of laughter leaving your lips.
âYeah, Iâm okay. Itâs okay,â you said, nodding as the three of you walked. The concrete was run down, pebbles poking into your shoes with every step as you approached your truck. You halted for a moment, a delicate hand placed on Yujiâs arm. He stopped in tow with you, and Nobara obliviously continued her pace. Or maybe she wasnât oblivious, maybe she was all too aware, walking away for the complete opposite reason to what youâd thought.
âThanks, Yuji.â You pushed yourself up on your tiptoes, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his cheek. You were pulling away in an instant, but he couldâve sworn the feeling of your lips lingered. His lips parted, face heating up as he gently placed his fingers over where youâd kissed him.
He stood there motionless for a moment, struggling to get a word out as he watched you join Nobara. It was only when the two of you turned around and waved for him to follow that he snapped out of it. He smiled, jogging to catch up with you. That lovesick grin didnât leave his face, not for a long while.
âUh.. how do you know that guy, anyway?â
Nobara cut in, all too eager to give Yuji the run down. âOh my gosh I have to tell you. We fuckinâ hate him.â
Though Yujiâs eyes widened a fraction at her foul language, he was somewhat eager to hear her. The entire ride back home was her airing him out, because somehow, she knew everything about everyone in this damn town. Not that you minded. All you could do was grin as you drove, glancing into your mirror to get a fleeting glimpse of Yuji in your back seat. The way heâd defended you made something within you stir, something you hadnât felt before. Was this what Nobara was talking about?
Just later that night, the three of you found yourselves circled around a bonfire, sharing a flask of whiskey youâd swiped from your kitchen. It was at the back of the property, a small clearing so far from the road that it couldnât even be seen. Over the years, you and Nobara had mapped out every bit of the farm, knowing it like the back of your hands. You knew every good spot, every trail, every dip in the earth. On nights like these, the perks of that really shone through.
This was Yujiâs first bonfire. You hadnât invited him before, keeping the little event a secret between you and Nobara. Because of recent changes, though, you decided Yuji was worthy of the experience.
The fact that this wasnât only his first bonfire with you, but his first bonfire ever wasnât apparent until the heaps of wood in front of you began going up in flames. He stood there like an awestruck child, mouth open in shock. It was a wholesome sight to see. The flames danced in his wide brown eyes, and you cursed yourself for paying more attention to him than the fire before you.
âWoahâŠâ he said, voice soft and low. You shared a look with Nobara, smirking. It had become less impressive and more routine to you by now, so to see it be so foreign to someone was undeniably entertaining.
You sat down in some lawn chairs, taken from the depths of the shed in your yard where nobody would notice their absence. The sky was only beginning to darken, a cool chill beginning to set in the air. The three of you chatted mindlessly as you stared at the stars above, tips of the raging fire creeping into your line of sight.
You pulled the cool metal flask from the pocket of your sweater, unscrewing it with ease. You took the lid off with a flick, letting it land in the grass with a soft thud. Taking a swig, you winced. Bitter.
You passed it to Nobara, who downed a sip with a scarily straight face (though you both knew her mind would spin after just a few more). Next was Yuji, who eyed the drink like it was an artifact from another planet. He took a drink from it, his face contorting in disgust and nearly spitting it out. He coughed, placing a hand around his throat to ease it.
âBlegh! Thatâs gross,â he said. You laughed, taking the flask from his hand and downing some of it. He eyed you, taking in the way your throat bobbed as you swallowed. A drop of it fell from your lips, down onto the skin of your chest. He pulled his eyes away to be respectful, telling himself he wasnât staring, but his throat felt dry. He glanced back at you, looking at your eyes this time. âGimme another sip.â
It wasnât long before drunken giggles filled the air, though contrary to what most would expect, Yuji was the main cause. Though Nobara was somewhat a lightweight based on country standards, Yuji was the worst of you. You assumed he wasnât one to drink, especially since heâd spent the past year taking care of his grandpa. When would he even have the time? Besides, you were sixteen, it wasnât like you could waltz into the liquor store and get some yourself. You and Nobara only drank because you were allowed though, it was normal here. Nobaraâs family was more strict in that sense, but your father wasnât. Heâd slip you a beer on cool summer nights, and the three of you could sit on the porch and reminisce like a group of old women. It was nice. It wasnât like you were a few delinquents stealing booze from your parents cabinet, though with the way youâd basically fed Yuji that whiskey, it sort of felt that way.
You laughed at something insignificant, probably a stupid face someone had made or the memory of that time Nobara and Yuji had fallen in the mud whilst running to you. So much had happened in the past month, or rather the nearly six weeks since youâd met. It was funny to think about how youâd been so cold yo Yuji upon first meeting him, and now you couldnât peel your attention off him. Even just being his friend, if it would still be classified as such, had changed you.
Everyone had noticed. You werenât so stand offish around most people now, it seemed his happy-go-lucky attitude had rubbed off on you. You just felt⊠happier. More you. It felt as if a piece of your soul had been kept from you, only reuniting with its whole when Yuji came around. Your heart was with him, and now that he was here, it had found home⊠for the next two weeks, at least.
Two weeks. Fuck. You only had two weeks left with him, and the boldest thing youâd done was a thank you kiss on the cheek.
Suddenly a lazy arm was draped around you, heavy and strong. A cheek was squished against your shoulder and you could feel him grinning against it, crooked and dumb. And cute.
âWhatcha thinkinâ âbout?â he asked, speech slurred and dragged out. He laughed at himself, drunk but not drunk enough to ignore how drunk he was, I guess.
âNothinâ Yuji, donât worry âbout it.â
Nobara laughed, draped out over her own chair just a few feet away. She let out a snort, to which she only laughed harder at. Yuji joined in, his laughter racking both yours and his body, as he was still wrapped around you. You were honestly just as intoxicated as the two of them, but you handled it better. Well enough to not end up falling to the ground in hysterics because of a snort. The corners of your lips did quirk up, though, much to your dismay. As their laughter died down, the only noise heard was the warm crackling of the fire and the crickets chirping from all around you.
Somehow, some way, Yuji ended up asleep. His position didnât change, still holding onto you like a sloth, but soft snores rumbled against your sweater now. You glanced down at him, brushing a stray tuft of hair out of his face. He looked so pretty, so peaceful. You liked that, you wanted peace for him. You liked him.
You didnât know if it was the alcohol or the undying need to get it off your back, but you spoke. âI think I might be falling for him.â
âGlad you finally accepted it,â spoke a half awake Nobara from the chair beside you. Her eyes drifted shut, a grin tugging at her lips as she mumbled some last words before falling asleep. âYou better do something about it soon, heâs too scared. Then heâll be gone and youâll be sad and whiney, and I donât wanna listen to you.â
As she peeked at you one last time before unconsciousness took over, you knew she wasnât lying. She was all too right, as bitchy as it sounded.
âYeah yeah fuck you, I know,â you mumbled. Then your eyes fell shut, shifting to lean against Yuji as sleep enveloped you. You knew you had to do something. Someone like him didnât come around often, people with hearts as big as their minds and eyes that sparkled every time you came around. He was different, and you wouldnât lose him.
đŒ
âI like you.â
You were once again out for a ride, the sun rising over the horizon and spreading the mornings glow over the trees as you passed through them. Youâd slowed, the sound of hooves beating into the ground lowering to a soft, steady beat. This had become routine for the two of you, something you looked forward to. Usually heâd come to wake you up every morning, the sound of pebbles hitting the glass of your window something you expected every day at 6am sharp. He told you he wanted to get out before the sun rose, but really, he just liked how you looked when youâd just rolled out of bed. All messy haired and droopy eyed, that annoyed look etched into your face. You just looked so mundane and pretty, a contrast to the composed girl he was used to seeing.
That had been the case this morning, too. When you first awoke, you didnât have this planned. You were expecting another little horse ride, maybe some laughter and conversation, but not this. You donât know why you just blurted it out like that. If you hadnât, though, you werenât sure youâd ever say it at all.
He choked on his spit, both of your eyes widening simultaneously, as if you had only heard your words when he did. ââŠwhat?â
âWhat?â you echoed. He made a face, a mix of âam I schizophrenicâ and âdonât act oblivious now.â
âIâm dumb, but not that dumb,â he muttered, avoiding eye contact. You still moved leisurely through the forest, the trees passing by slowly, slower than time. âI⊠I heard that.â
You let out a breath of air through your nose, chest rising and falling. Your hands felt shaky, and you were sure you were on the verge of passing out. You could only imagine what would happen if he didnât like you back. Well⊠at least there was only one more week of him staying here?
âYou did.â
He began speaking, but stopped. He kept opening his mouth and closing it again, like a floundering fish on land. He was struggling for words, speechless for once. He felt dizzy, his mind scrambled. âI- do you mean that?â
You paused for a long moment, one that to Yuji, felt like years. He had been yearning to hear those sweet words fall from your lips for⊠well, he couldnât exactly remember when it started. Heâd even asked Nobara what to do, desperate for some sort of help. The thing was, he wasnât convinced that you liked him back. Even when Nobara pushed it, even pinky promised, he couldnât bring himself to believe her. But now youâd said it. You were right here and youâd just told him you liked him, and he just needed to hear you say you meant it.
Well, there wasnât much of a point in denying it now. âWhy would I say it if I didnât?â
He swallowed thickly, hastily nodding. That was true. He knew that, you werenât a liar. He felt so dumb. He just felt all over the place when he was with you, more than usual, and that had been multiplied tenfold now. He brought his horse to a stop, a short neigh meeting your ears as well as the sound of his feet meeting the ground.
You stared at him for a moment, mind blank, before coming to your senses and following him suit. The two of you tied their reins to a fallen log nearby, that was the closest youâd get to something proper.
He stood parallel to you now, shakily meeting your eyes for brief seconds before staring at the ground once again. He didnât look all that nervous, but internally he was freaking the fuck out. He was screaming and yelling but at the same time, resisting the urge to pump his fist in the air and cry from joy.
âI uh⊠I donât know where to start,â he said.
âIâm sorry.â
His head shot up, panic overtaking his features. He reached out without a second thought, shaking his hands and head simultaneously in defence.
âNo- no! I like you too! A lot!â he exclaimed, eyes wide and shining with something you couldnât quite recognize. Your throat closed up, blinking at him in shock.
âOh.â
âYeah,â he said, smiling as he rubbed the back of his neck. He did that often, you noticed. A nervous habit of his. âI just⊠I didnât think you liked me back, so I didnât say anything. I thought Nobara was just saying that, you know? But I really, really like you, like I just said, I was just scared. Iâm a coward, I know. Youâre not supposed to be the one to confess, I-â
He was cut off as you lurched forward, pressing your lips against his. They slotted together perfectly, like they were always meant to. It barely took him a second to kiss back with equal fervour, equal enthusiasm. His eyes fluttered shut, matching yours. His hand rested at the back of your neck, holding you, but giving you enough room to back out if you wanted. He held you as if he kissed you first, as if he was unsure that you wanted to.
You parted with a pant, breaths mingling. It took the both of you a couple moments before your eyes opened again, and it was then that he regained some of his consciousness.
âWhat was that for?!â he asked, though any suspicion you had of his anger were washed away as his lips began spreading in a smile. âI was talking there.â
You mimicked his grin, lovesick and stupid. âHad to shut you up somehow.â
He laughed, eyes crinkling just like they had the first time you met him. When heâd been nothing but a stranger, one you had a particular distaste for at that. Nothing but a heart without a home. That strangers heart had found home on your little ranch, with you.
âIn that caseâŠâ he said, though his sentence wasnât finished with words. It was finished with him reeling you back in, kissing you like he wanted to make up for lost time as well as the next few centuries. Like you were delicate and eternal and everything he wanted, and in a way, you were. Heâd be fine spending eternity with you, but if that wasnât possible, he supposed the rest of his life could suffice.
He pulled away, gazing down at you as if you had placed every star in the sky just for him. âI think Iâm doing this backwards,â he said, âbut will you be my girlfriend? Please.â
You grinned, your heart racing wildly in your chest. You were sure it would jump out if that pace kept up, but at the same time, you figured it wasnât yours anymore anyway. It was his, it had been for a while.
âWell, since you asked so nicely.â
đŒ
Yeah, Yuji went home the week after that. But he didnât leave, no, not in the slightest. It wasnât long after that when he got his license, and he made sure to take frequent trips to your farm. Also, a pleasant surprise (or moreso something heâd forgotten to mention) was that he was starting school again, at your school. You could imagine the surprise you felt when you sat down in homeroom only to see the bright face of your boyfriend staring at you from the doorway.
He was there for every big event, and every small one too. Your weekly campfires with Nobara became ritual, after which youâd end up curled up in your bed, his face squished against your neck and suffocating you with his weight. He was there for every rodeo you took part in, screaming and clapping ridiculously loud. He was your number one cheerleader, always right next to Nobara and your dad, the former yelling almost as loud as him. You couldnât have been more grateful for your morning routine, and your mouth that moved before your brain did, because it gained you who you were convinced was the love of your life and lost you nothing but the nuisance of dealing with other boys.
It was safe to say your dad hired him next summer. And every summer after that. And for every summer after, he loved you just the same.
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