#i had to google clint to make sure he was indeed also going by the name hawkeye cause i know fuck all about marvel

[muirneach]

just got a bunch of likes from someone with ‘clintbarton’ in their url. how much u want to bet that they see me hawkeyeposting and think i mean the marvel guy

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 18

Request: Yes or No

Also kind of short

~

You stared out at the river, fingers warm from the heat of the mug in your hands. You felt tired, empty, and disappointed. The roof was a nice place to sit and think. Your gaze dropped down to the ground below.

"I don't believe this is the safest way to test your abilities, (Y/N). Especially since Sam doesn't have on his wings." Vision said in concern, watching Sam hype himself up. You shook your head, laughing.

"It's definitely not safe." You grinned, watching Sam. He looked down from his spot on the roof, shaking off nerves.

"Run the idea by me again." Vision said as Wanda chuckled softly.

"Alright, Sam is gonna jump off the roof and I'm gonna use my powers to keep up in the air. If they don't work, Wanda will catch him."

"You're gonna allow this, Wanda?" Vision looked at the redhead. Wanda shrugged, sipping on her tea with a small smile.

"Ready?" Sam called, sliding down his googles. You nodded, backing up a bit, grinning widely. Sam backed up out of sight before running off the roof. You raised your hand, watching him suddenly fly up. He screamed, arms and legs flailing.

"You might gonna to catch him, Vis!" You called as Sam briefly disappeared past a cloud. Vision flew up, catching Sam and flying back to the ground. Sam raised a hand to his chest, feeling his heartbeat as he panted.

"Again?"

"Again."

"Kind of chilly out here, don't you think?" You turned your head, looking at Tony. He took a seat beside you, sighing.

"So, how'd it go?" Tony asked, turning to look at you. You licked your lips, lightly shrugging as you sipped on your hot chocolate.

"Good. I learned a lot about my family. It was confirmed that, uh, I was indeed abandoned by my mother. It's great." You told him, giving a small nod. Tony hummed.

"It builds character." Tony said. You snorted, looking down at the hot chocolate.

"Yeah, I guess so." You muttered.

"What'd you learn?" Tony asked, watching you. You sighed, head tilting up. You stared at the passing clouds.

"That my dad was killed here... By.. The Winter Soldier." You breathed out. Tony stayed silent, frowning as he nodded.

"I.. I can't blame him. He was brainwashed and not in control. How did you react when you found out about Bucky and your parents?" You asked, looking at him. Tony licked his lips, looking away from you. He seemed to think about his words, eyes squinting slightly.

"I.. I was more hurt by Rogers than by what Barnes did. Rogers kept it from me and he never planned on telling me. Even if we didn't consider each other friends.. We were teammates. How was I supposed to be okay with trusting him with my life when he was never gonna tell me about my parents?" Tony frowned, sighing heavily. You bit your bottom lip.

"I'm sorry Steve betrayed you like that." You said softly. You wouldn't want to work with someone who betrayed you either. You took in a small breath, looking at him curiously.

"Do you think Steve knows? About my dad?"

"Unless Barnes saw some similarities between you and your dad, probably not. Your dad covered his tracks. He made sure he wouldn't be connected to his family. Very smart of him." Tony offered a small smile. You reached into your back pocket, taking out a photo. It was of the whole family. Your grandparents, Florine, Michael, and even Gerdie as a pup. You turned it around to the back, looking at the phone number.

'Call when you need me, kid'

"People really need to stop calling me kid." You mumbled, huffing softly. Tony chuckled.

"You look like one."

"Oh, fuck off, old man." You gave Tony a playful glare. He scoffed, touching his chest dramatically.

"Are you really gonna retire? I mean, at this point, you're asking to be called an old man." You pointed out, grinning when Tony rolled his eyes.

"Pepper and Morgan need me. I don't want to be an absent father. I know how it feels to have one and.. I don't want to be like my father. I won't make the same mistakes."

"You'll make new mistakes." You shrugged lightly. Tony shot you a look. "But I'm sure you're a great father!"

"Right." Tony grunted, shaking his head. You chuckled softly, placing your cup beside you. You inhaled softly.

"When I was drunk.. I vividly remembering saying that you suck before passing out. What happened?"

"Oh, you were a goddamn mess. Definitely an emotional drunk." Tony replied, making you groan softly, cheeks flushing from embarrassment.

"You said I was a lucky bastard and you cried.. You also kissed me." Tony looked at you, gaze searching for a reaction. Your lips parted, brows raising.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Uhm.." You licked your lips, straightening up and clearing your throat. You stayed silent, thinking of what to say in response.

"Pepper doesn't have to know. It was a drunk kiss that nobody really saw, right? I mean, I already have enough on my plate. I don't need an angry wife on top of that." You blurted out, shrugging lightly. Tony cleared his throat, nodding.

"Yeah, of course. It barely lasted a second." Tony looked forward, scratching the side of his neck. Awkward silence took over, both you and Tony unsure on how to proceed without making things even more weird.

"How are you?" Tony suddenly asked, turning towards you. "Like, in general."

"Terrible."

"Yeah, I feel that. Wanna... Wanna talk about it?" Tony asked. You stared at him, brows furrowing.

"Are you practicing on me for when Morgan needs a talk with you?" You questioned, head tilting slightly. Tony shrugged.

"Yes and no."

"That's nice." You huffed softly, gaze drifting towards the setting sun. You watched him, shoulders slumping.

"I feel.. Incredibly alone. Yeah, Nat is here but I can't rely on her. She has her own issues to deal with. Bruce... Bruce is god fucking knows where and if I tried talking to him, he'd probably just stand there. Clint is also god fucking knows where. Thor fucked off the moment they came back from killing Thanos. The outerspace crew is kind of weird. Steve is... Steve. He'd just give me a speech and a pat on the shoulder. Carol barely comes to Earth and she's also pretty intimidating." You licked your lips, shaking your head as you brought your knees up to your chest.

"The people I used to talk to have either.. Died or chosen to leave. I have to take care of a big ass fucking farmhouse cause its goddamn owner left! My life is slowly falling apart and I have to comfort myself cause nobody seems to care enough! I am so fucking tired of feeling tired. I thought I had found a family but I guess I'm not good enough for those." You raised your voice, feeling the wind get harsh for a quick minute. You let out a deep breath, eyes shutting to keep the tears from falling. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders, gently leaning you against a warm body. You sniffle, a shakey sigh leaving you.

"And I am so tired of crying." You whispered. Tony gently leaned his head against yours, hand squeezing your arm.

"I know.. I'm sorry." He said quietly. You relaxed against him, feeling numb and empty. You looked down at the photo. You wondered if this was the life Michael had wanted for you. To be a hero to a planet missing fifty percent of its inhabitants.

"You know what might make you feel better?" Tony asked.

"What?" You sat up, using the sleeve of your jacket to wipe your nose as you sniffled. Tony stood, motioning for you to follow. He offered his hand, watching you pick up the mug. You took his hand, holding it as Tony led you off the roof and down the stairs. You placed the mug on the nearest table, letting him guide you outside and onto the field. You stood in the middle, looking at him with furrowed brows.

"Letting it out." He finally answered, letting go of your hand and taking some steps back. He raised his arms.

"Let it out. Scream, kick, punch, curse. Let it all out." Tony said, smiling widely. You sniffled, still unsure.

"C'mon, I'll do it with you. On a count of three, okay? One... Two... Three!" You inhaled with Tony, eyes shutting as you screamed as loud as you could. You heard Tony chuckle in amazement, opening your eyes. You noticed he had been knocked down onto the grass, the trees nearby having been bent back by the wind. The grass around your feet were burned and gray clouds had formed in the sky. You noticed Tony looking up at something behind you so you turned, blinking and slowly looking up at the large ice spikes that almost reached the clouds.

"Holy shit." You whispered, taking a step back.

"You're still on the tip of the iceberg with your powers, Elsa." Tony said, getting up as it began to thunder. You felt some weight off your chest, turning to face you.

"You know.. That actually did help." You chuckled, smiling gently.

"Well, I am a genius." Tony replied, digging into his pocket and pulling out car keys.

"I should get going. Pepper's cooking dinner and I don't want to miss it." Tony said. You nodded, walking with him towards the road. A sports car drove out of the garage, stopping infront of Tony.

"All my things have already been sent home." Tony said, looking at you. You hummed, nodding.

"You can be an asshole sometimes but.. You'll be missed." You told him softly. Tony gave a genuine soft smile.

"You should visit, kid. You might like my new place." Tony said, opening the door and getting in.

"Give me a call and I'll visit when I can." You said, watching him buckle up. Tony nodded, sliding on sunglasses.

"I'll be seeing you."

"Not really looking forward to it." You replied, hearing a small snort before the car drove off. You watched it go, sighing softly. You looked over at the spikes, licking your lips.

"What more can I do?"

~

Tags: @geek-and-proud @wolfelocksley @babyvisionisamenace @jjk-is-my-shit

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Of Dust and Ashes (Chapter 3)

Eventual Clint x ofc, overall rating: M

Chapter warnings: None (yes- you did read that right.)

Welcome back to the pain fest. This week... I promise not to make you cry too much. Thank @winterisakiller​ for somehow not killing me yet and instead offering all the love and support needed to get through this dark fic. And thank @tnystrk-exe​ for the always present encouragement to ‘King it up’.  I swear, one day, Deanna and Clint will be in the same place. But for now, it’s very much Deanna’s story of how she survived long enough to get there. 

The RV featured in this story is an actual model. I spent a day touring lots in Vegas as part of research for this fic and talking to salesmen who may have mistaken me for a ‘proper author’. If you want to check it out- it’s a 2019 Forest River Sunseeker 3010DS by Ford and I honest to god want one. The one I toured did indeed have the solar power package. Google can get ya a floor plan and pictures, if you’d like

Chapter 3: Planning to survive

~~~~~~~<3

Deanna was thankful for the full tank of gas when she left the small ranch house that she had planned to call her home for many years to come in her small car. Still, she quickly realized as she slowly navigated a city that was in worse condition than she expected that the car wasn’t going to be big enough for her to survive more than a handful of days in it. It wouldn’t be able to haul enough stuff, store enough and she would so often have to rely on what supplies she can find at the time of needing them.

It was toward the outer edge of the city that she drove by the solution to her problem. It was too perfect, really. On one side of the highway was a motor home dealership and just a few large lots before it she had drove by a Costco. Looking around, the area seemed to be peaceful enough in the mid afternoon sun. So many people where moving into the inner city, hoping and waiting for the promised assistance from the National Guard.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she turned sharply right and held on tightly as she forced her small sedan over the curb and around the edge of the ditch to avoid an accident that blocked the road. It occurred to her after the car teetered for a moment, threatening to slide into the ditch that she could have just turned farther ahead on the next street. The fact that she had acted recklessly scared her but there was no time for that now.

Luckily, the car didn’t roll. Unluckily, it did get stuck and Deanna was forced to abandon it. Logically, she knew she could go back for everything. Yet that didn’t stop her from loading up Frankie’s blanket and Aurora’s stuffed fox doll into the bottom of a backpack where they would be safest. On top she tossed a handful of bottles of water and a few cans of food. In the front pocket she stuffed aspirin, acetaminophen and ibuprofen as well as a collection of bandages. In her hand, she clutched the crowbar that she hoped would be more useful than the baseball bat should she need to break into anything.

It was almost too heavy for her and reluctantly she had to pull out a few cans of food and two water bottles to leave behind when she nearly toppled into the ditch. Crossing the street, the wind gusted and blew her dark hair around her. Pushing her hair back, she looked up and down the street yet again and found it just as empty as it was when she got out of the car.

Still, there was the always present sense of unease. Looking up, she watched the sun through the hazy sky. It’d been just over a week since The Decimation and the dusty haze in the sky hadn’t only just begun to let up. A good rain would do the sky good but she couldn’t stomach the thought of what would be falling with the water. It would be more than just ash from fires.

Around her, the world felt empty. In truth, it was. Half of the people were gone. More, if you think about it. She couldn’t bear to think about it. The population of stray dogs seemed to have been cut in half as well. She wondered what else was included in the decimation.

A shake of her head brought her back to the task at hand. She most definitely didn’t want to stay out in the open and exposed. Though the signs of violence in the area was less apparent, she still could spot the occasional broken window and that filled her with unease.

She thought about touring the vehicles on the lot and picking one but decided it was better to see if she could even find the keys first. It wouldn’t matter if she found what seemed to be the perfect RV, made for her and not terrifying to drive if she couldn’t find the keys. It was more important to know what she had access to first.

Trying the door, she found it unlocked and slipped inside. Just as she turned and locked the door behind her, there was a crash and a rather unmanly scream. In return she screamed reflexively as she whipped around and raised the crow bar. Their eyes locked and for a moment they just watched each other while they evaluated the threat each posed to the other.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He spoke softly, slowly lowering the pipe he had clutched in his hands. His brown hair was messy but he was clean unlike a few of the people she had seen on the side of the road. “This is… was my dad’s shop.”

“I don’t want to hurt you either.” She answered. “My car is stuck.”

“Do you want to get it free or…?” He trailed off. “Where are you going.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know.” The crowbar hung limply from her arm as she relaxed. At least for now it appeared they both were going to behave like civil human beings. It wasn’t something she dared count on in the first instant of meeting but things looked promising.

“How are things in the city?” The man asked as he ran his fingers through his short dark hair. He looked to be rather young, all things considered. In the world before, he would be right about the age to be well into his college education but with far enough to go still that graduation seemed to be a dream.

“My kids’ teachers broke into my house and tried to steal food.”

“That bad?”

“I don’t even live that far from here.” Admitting it hurt.

“They’re telling people to go into the cities for help.” He pulled his thin lip between his teeth and crumpled into a chair in the lobby. “Is there even help?”

“Not that I’ve seen.” Sitting next to him, she introduced herself and learned his name was Lewis. For a few minutes they simply sat in silence.

She almost didn’t hear him when he did speak. “We need to get out of the city. It’s safer where fewer people are.”

“We?”

“I mean, if you want. People are stealing and it’s not going to be safe in the cities for much longer at all and we’re safer together than alone. The RVs- they all have functioning kitchens, bathrooms, beds and locking doors.”

“I-”

“Unless you’re an idiot at least some of those things crossed your mind when you came here and not to the tow yard down the way when your car got stuck.” He laughed and it sounded brittle.

“You’re right. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to take one, if I could even find the keys let alone drive any of them.”

“They’re a lot easier to drive now and without highways full of rush hour traffic it’s probably going to be fine. Keep the tanks full, store food and supplies- Who knows what the world’s going to be like and for how long?”

“What about gas? If all the gas stations are closed-”

“I can teach you. We have a fueling station out back- it was more convenient that way. Just a few months ago- Dad was so proud of them- We got these new Sunseeker models in with built in Solar hookups. Set them up wanting to charge an extra markup for it being ready to go.”

“Maybe we should just wait here-”

“I don’t want to go alone but I will. I’m not staying here. But I’m scared.” Tears welled in his eyes and Deanna saw him in that instant not as a man something like ten years younger than her but as a boy still learning how to be a man in a world that’s gone crazy. “Please, come with? At least for a bit?”

It quickly became clear that he needed her and the feeling of being needed was grounding. One of the Motorhomes had a generator running and while Lewis told her of his grand plans, Deanna fixed them a proper chicken dinner in a tiny kitchen. All those years she had made fun of those who had doomsday plans and here she was, thankful for a kid’s general idea.

“Is this one of the ones we’ll take?” She asked as she set a plate down in front of him.

“No, no. This one’s older. It was Dad’s. Better to take a newer one.”

“So when do we leave? What do we take?”

“Tomorrow evening. We’ll leave early and hit up a few places for supplies on the way. The Costco hasn’t had much activity the whole week- It’s been locked down tight and has back up power running. No one seemed to be inside when I checked out the area a few days ago. Load up everything we can. If we can get some trailers and stick some sheds on it- even more space.”

After a proper meal- the first one Deanna had since the power went out not too long ago, she felt oddly better. She could think. She could plan. Most of all, she could learn and so that’s what she did. Lewis was eager to show her the vehicles he had planned on taking.

They were large, each 35 feet long or so he said. It was clear his father must have been a good salesman who taught his son well as Lewis told her about the tank capacities, the solar panels that could provide almost enough electricity to power the home on a typical day before opening the side door and showing her inside.

It wasn’t bad though the lack of space would take getting used to. The simple reality was that it was much better than the little sedan she was driving. Above the cab was a bunk that Lewis suggested storing some weapons in. A curtain could be drawn across the space making a private sleeping as designed but also a dark place to hide should she need. Storing a gun in the area would allow her to defend herself should someone get curious enough to attempt to break in. She hated how she had to agree, it was a benefit. Hanging from the edge of the bunk was a curtain that could be pulled across to separate the space.

The living space was combined with the kitchen and dining area. Lewis showed off the tv and the built in DVD player. Deanna was more excited than she wanted to admit to see a microwave in addition to the small three burner gas stove and oven. The refrigerator in this model was still small but was a two door fridge with a freezer. The sink was double sided and she felt dumb for how that made her emotional. Deanna always liked double sided sinks.

On the far side of the length of the body was a short couch next to a U shaped dinette. Above it all was a row of small cabinets with small LED lights that shone down. The windows were large and shatterproof or so Lewis said. Each had both a pull down curtain and hanging curtains that would give privacy and darkness. The dinette benches all lifted to reveal more storage space and the table lowered to a point. The back rests fit perfectly on the table to make what was designed to be another sleeping space should one need it.

Lewis pointed out that the slide-out portions were extended and that when they were put in the walkway would be very narrow but told her not to worry about that. There was a control panel that would move the sections in and out with the touch of a button. When the electric was not functioning, he assured her that there was a hand crank she could use to move them if she wanted. It wouldn’t be easy but they were both coming to terms with the fact that the world after the decimation wouldn’t be easy.

There was a short hall with a door on either side that lead to a small bedroom. Carefully, she pushed down on the plush mattress to find memory foam. It was nicer than her bed back home had been. The queen size bed was bare but she didn’t find herself bothered. Across from it was a wall of cabinets with a small TV mounted toward the top of the built in wardrobe. When the portion was pushed in the foot of the bed would brush against the wardrobe door. The base of the bed frame had built in drawers.

When she turned and got her little sedan stuck, the idea of taking a motorhome was a vague concept. Now as she stood in a place designed for maximized secure storage, she couldn’t begin to imagine leaving the city without one.

The evening was spent learning how to power on the generator, fill and empty the water tanks and change the propane tanks. Lewis showed her how to use a manual water pump to fill the gas tank from the large underground tanks and how to use different pump to fill the water tanks from areas of standing water.

As night fell, Deanna unloaded her car with Lewis’ help and divided what supplies they had between the two vehicles. Water bottles were stored under the dinette benches, medicine stored in bathroom cabinets and cans of food settled in largely empty kitchen cabinets before Deanna curled up on the soft mattress with Frankie’s blanket wrapped around her and Aurora’s fox clutched to her chest.

Morning came quickly and Deanna was up before dawn making them a breakfast before the day begun. When knocking sounded on the door, a scream was torn from her chest.

“It’s just me Deanna.” Lewis called sheepishly, poking his head into the doorway.

~~~~~<3

After eating, they carefully made their way toward Costco as the sun began to lighten the horizon. Lewis wanted to do what they could under the cover of darkness while they were still in the city. The RVs lumbered carefully down the road as she got used to driving the large vehicle.

It took longer than they wanted to pry open the back doors of the Costco. The generator keeping power to the building sputtered and fell dead as they worked, forcing them to enter the building with flashlights as their only source of light. Still, Deanna was thankful that the generator had lasted for as long as it had.

Feeling perhaps cockily sure that no one else was around, they made their way toward the front, grabbing large flat carts and set to work gathering supplies independently of one another.

Deanna first went through the frozen and cold sections. For a while she thought about grabbing arm fulls of cans of consecrated juice before settling on just two cans. The refrigerator and freezer space was limited and she would much rather use it for meat. She grabbed beef and chicken before moving onto the dairy sections. A gallon of milk and boxes of butter were added along with a box of sixty eggs.

From the produce section she grabbed lettuces, berries, apples, oranges, grapes, bananas and sacks of potatoes before going back and grabbing carrots and celery.

For a moment she had to stop and rest. The world seemed to close in around her and she had to focus on breathing. The task at hand needed to be completed. Later, tonight she could have her breakdown, scream and cry. One step in front of the other.

Deanna pushed her cart forward and added cans of vegetables and fruits. She added boxes filled with trail mix and handfuls and handfuls of jerky packets. Cans of chicken and fish found their way into a box set on top of cases of water.

She grabbed a gallon jug of water and twisted the top off, drinking it as she pushed the cart back outside. Carefully, she loaded water under the dinette benches. What didn’t fit was put in an outside storage compartment. She filled some of the cabinets with cans of food before filling the refrigerator and freezer, noting how much space was left. Deanna set a can of frozen juice on the counter to thaw.

This time when she went inside she locked the store she locked up her new home behind her. Bags of rice and beans were wrestled onto the cart. Flour and boxes of yeast packets went next. Brown and white sugar was added to the stack with baking soda and powder. Before moving on she added a box with a fancy spice rack. She didn’t care about the rack itself however it came with the spices, making it an easy choice. She grabbed boxes and boxes of salt and pepper, remembering how historically cultures had gone to war over salt.

After unloading the cart for the second time she again went inside, trailing not far behind Lewis who was munching from a bag of potato chips as he added a snack foods and candy to his cart. For all he had thought and planned, it was clear that he still wasn’t always thinking everything through. Still, the world they knew was over and so if he wanted to eat gummy fruit snacks who was she to judge him? Deanna snagged herself a bag to snack on herself while she walked. Why not? The world as she knew it was over so she may as well enjoy some candy.

From the pharmacy she grabbed bottles and bottles of pain killers and multivitamins, bandages and first aid supplies. Not too far away, Lewis forced open the door to the back pharmacy. Deanna was quick to go to his side and together they loaded up bottles of antibiotics. Lewis gathered more and more different medications but she didn’t want any part of that. He may want to risk using things he didn’t understand based on guesswork but she wouldn’t put her life on the line for that. The antibiotics were important however, infection was dangerous and could be deadly.

The cart was heavy and her arms and back ached as she pushed it toward the center of the store. She grabbed what clothes she could. A display of pillows provided her somewhere to rest her head at night as she grabbed two. A plush blanket was better than nothing and so she added the ugly green thing to her cart as well.

She grabbed a set pots and pans before standing in front of a wall of boxes of dishes. It felt weird, wrong even to be contemplating dish sets. When her eyes settled on a brand she loved for the way they didn’t break if Frankie dropped them.

Again she had to close her eyes and focus on anything else but the way his eyes got wide when the plate would clatter to the ground. His father would yell and scream over dropped dishes. For a long while she simply counted up from one until the tears stopped and her breathing evened out. She hadn’t made it even to fifty before she had calmed herself again.

Grabbing a box she tossed it on the pile of stuff. Looking around one last time, she hoped to find more kitchen supplies but it seemed their luck was running low. In reality, she could probably grab such things at a Walmart later if she wanted. Surely that wouldn’t be stolen nearly as fast as food. Or at least, she hoped.

Regardless, she’d been inside far longer than she wanted and she was starting to get jumpy. Through the skylights high on the ceiling, she could see morning light growing stronger seemingly by the minute.

“Ready?” She called to Lewis who was picking through clothes.

“Almost. Go load up, I’ll be right behind you.”

~~~~~<3

Deanna loaded the large bulk bags of rice, flour and sugar into the locking exterior compartment with the extra water before setting about unboxing the pots, pans, dishes and spice rack while she waited for Lewis. Later, she planned on getting containers for the bulk items to prevent waste and allow her to bring what she needs into the home as needed. Lewis too much less time loading his things up and before heading off with the plan to stop at a sports store on the way out of town.

That one plan would prove to be the greatest mistake of Deanna’s first month post Decimation.

~~~~~<3

Tag List: 

@usedtobegoodfriend96, @0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7, @theoneanna, @dangertoozmanykids101, @j-u-s-t-4, @missaphrodite23, @bambamwolf87, @nonsensicalobsessions, @tinchentitri, @michelegurl

want in on tags? Just ask!

[im-tops-bottom]

So....

Ever since Tony accidentally stumbled upon fanfiction while googling himself to catch up with the news, he's been seeing Bucky in a whole new light. He had always been a soft top and never thought about bottoming. Even when he was with men.

It started off as a fic where he topped both Steve and Bucky. He started gazing at both their asses. Mainly Bucky's. He found it weird that he never got turned on. He did however think about slapping it just for shits amd gigs.

Then Clint caught him while he was reading one about him topping the crap out of Bucky. He was the alpha to Bucky's omega. Clint laughed at the red faced Tony and told him to check out the 'bottom Tony' fics because alot of them a real good.

"how do you know about all this?"

"anything related to you taking it up the ass really gets me and Nat going. Oh all the things we did because of you"

"thanks? I guess"

"no problem. Have fun"

That is when things really started to kick in. It started off as the fic Clint suggested and Tony couldn't help but blush and/or stutter when he was in the same area as Bucky.

After the whole civil thing, Tony tried to use his anger on Steve and Hydra and Bucky to calm himself down but it never worked. Sure he forgave Bucky because it wasn't him but surely his anger towards Steve and hydra should have kept him sane.

Well as sane as one could get after he spent a whole night reading everything on ao3 where he was the sub to Bucky's Dom. And oh shit did he have trouble keeping calm around Bucky.

He told Clint after he spent 3 days pent up in his workshop, not because he had work to do, no he was already ahead of the game, but because he checked out the bottom Tony tag and the omega tony tag only looking at anything to with him and Bucky.

"I thought the angsty stuff would help but even then.....holy shit fans can get crazy and know too much"

"yeah well when your life has been plastered all over the news since before you were born, people tend to know stuff. It also helps when you say them on live national television"

"what do i do Clinty boo? I feel like I'm having panic attacks whenever he's around me but I can't leave the room. My body isn't allowing it"

"well you can start off by not calling me Clinty boo"

"cliiiiiiint"

"okay okay calm down. how are things between the two of you?"

"hopeless. I can't talk to him. I am still angry with what happened in Siberia. Well I forgave Bucky but the fight still haunts me. Watching that video still gets to me. I can't be around Steve without starting an argument. I think Bucky hates me because I attached his best friend which I'm pretty sure who he is dating because why not. The love between those two knows no bounds. Have you seen the old tapes? They clearly were in love. I also think Bucky thinks I hate him. Steve doesn't like leaving him alone with me. See! Romance of the ages"

"in that case use that to help keep you going. You are in the same room, remember what you just told me. Alone together, use that. If Steve is in the room, keep your attention on Steve and thr anger can keep you going"

"but Everytime im in the same room as the soldier, nothing but adult content plays in my mind"

"god i don't know if that is lust or you are"

"you finish that sentence and i swear to God"

"oh god your falling for your parents killer"

"hey it wasn't his fault. Hydra made him d- you were just saying that to rile me up weren't you?"

"and it worked. You are a hopeless cause"

At that moment Natasha walks in and sits behind Tony to cuddle him.

"who's a hopeless cause? Because I'm seeing two in this room"

Clint looks offended and Tony just laughs at Clint.

"Tony is thank you very much"

"and who are we blaming?"

Clint's eyes widen as he looks up and Nat follows them and raises a brow. Tony is completely oblivious as he has his head dowm and is currently playing with his fingers.

"Bucky"

Nat looks at Clint and Clint nods his head. Nat sighs as she hugs Tony tight.

"and what did our residental brainwashed assassin do?"

Tony with a redface explains what's been going on for pass year and never once looks up. Never once notices Clints sad face or Nat's smirk or the shocked faces of two people by the doorway.

"so you are pissed off with Steve still and madly in love with Bucky?"

"I'm not really pissed. It's just that he hurt me and I don't know how to come back from that. I was so gone with Steve and then the lies came and he chose his side. The anger helped me get over him but it changed me in more ways then one. I feel like I can forgive him but I don't ever want to go down that road with him ever again"

"have you ever told Steve this?"

"are you kidding Nat!?!"

"Clint shut up"

Tony jolts in surprise and looks up to spot the two super soldiers. Steve walks up to Tony and gets on his knees and grabs Tony's hands softly.

"Clint, Nat can you guys leave the room?"

"hell no!"

Nat drags an annoyed Clint with him. Clint screams out "I don't trust you guys even for a second. Friday make sure they don't hurt Tony"

"will do Mr Barton"

Once the spies leave, everything gets intense.

"Tony look at me"

Tony looks everywhere but at Steve.

"please?"

Steve pleads causing Tony to stare at him in surprise. Steve looks hurt, scared, worried, pained, guilty. Tony looks away again causing Steve to sigh.

"I know that I lost your trust amd I'm wary around y-"

"please don't"

"Tony"

Tony rips his hands out of Steve's and stands up shaking.

"not now. Just please. Not now"

Tony knows he's being a coward but he can't help it. Not when it comes to Steve and Bucky. He runs all the way up to the penthouse. Running up the stairs because there's less of a "oomph"

Tony feels pain and also his body being rolled over so he's on his back. He notices that panic had taken him up to his penthouse and he had just made outside his room before he could even tell Friday to lock the penthouse up. His body is shaking amd he's having trouble breathing.

"hey hey hey easy there fella"

He feels the body on top of him grab a hold of his shaking hands and hold them against a naked chest. A flesh is holding both his hands against it while the metal hand is rubbing his hip softly.

"Bucky?"

"it's me buddy. No talking. Just breathing. Follow me now. There we go"

Moments later after following along Tony begins to breathe normally again. He feels Bucky pick him up and carry hjm to the bed. He feels Buckys hand lay his head onto the chest and the sound of Bucky's heartbeat lulls him to sleep.

When Tony wakes up he stretches and it's not until he opens his eyes when his body decides to jolt and he let's out a Yelp causing the body under him to wake up. He becomes shocked as Bucky pulls tony against him as he holds out a gun scanning the area while growling. Tony places a hand on the stretched out arm.

"easy there four seasons. No one is here. I was surprised, that's all. Hey hey hey James look at me"

Bucky turns his head and looks Tony dead in the eye. Tony smiles as he manages to lean back.

"look at me! I'm alive. I'm in good health shut up Friday"

"yes boss"

"now put the gun down. I'll even let you check me over"

After a couple of seconds contemplating, Bucky puts the gun down and checks over Tony and calms down knowing that he is indeed okay.

"now Buckaroo, mind telling me what that was about?"

"I thought I heard you screaming"

"yeah I was surprised to find you here that's all"

"but I was the one that helped you through your attack"

"I know I realize that now. Why did you come after me?"

"to make sure you were okay and it was a good idea anyway"

"that's sweet and all but if you were there for the whole thing then you would know that things aren't really going well at the moment"

"Winter was angry"

"and why was he angry?"

"because of everything that's happened. We were both sad because even though you forgave us, you did everything you could to either stay away from us or look at us in disgust. It hurt"

"okay fair enough. But that wasn't directed at you. It was really directed at Steve and Hydra and myself"

"but you said"

"I know what I said. But did you hear the part where I said I tried but I couldn't so I was disgusted with myself be-"

Tony is surprised as he gets cut off by Bucky who is kissing him. After what felt like forever Bucky pulls away and smiles as Tony leans his forehead on top of Bucky's.

"heres what we are going to do genius. You, in all of your Stark confidence is gonna March down there and talk it out. it's been long over due and I think you killed the man after every thing you said"

"but"

"no buts Tony. Then after that we are gonna have our long over due talk. Once everything is said and done, I'm gonna take you out"

"with a gun?"

"on a date?"

"but why?"

"because it has come to my attention that you didn't notice how I acted around you because you were to busy reading fanfiction and thinking that I was dating Steve"

"aren't you?"

"no. He doesn't even swing that way. Just be glad that you never told him your feelings in the first place"

"I guess you are right"

"great"

Tony yelps as Bucky slaps his ass hard and pushes him off the bed. Tony goes red as Bucky smirks at him.

"what the hell was that for?"

"you amd Clint aren't the only ones who read that Smutty crap. That's okay though because we can make up for all that after our date"

"so we just come back and read?"

"you ain't thr only one to read bottom Tony fics. There are a few there that have given me ideas on what to do with you"

"what?"

"from what I heard"

Bucky still smirking, stands up and slides behind Tony before embracing him. His dick which had gone hard pressed up against Tony as he pulls tony against him. He leans down to whisper sexily into Tony's ear as his hands hold his waist.

"I'm about to pop your cherry tonight. Who knew playboy Tony Stark has a v-card for something. Men and women dont know what they're missing out on. Too bad that your mine now."

Bucky leaves a hickey on Tony's neck as he grinds down on him. He chuckles as he steps back and a redfaced Tony turns around.

"you evil man!"

Bucky licks his lips as his eyes roam Tony, smirk not once leaving his face. His eyes stop by Tony's and he thinks that maybe he can change his mind.

"how about this evil man deflowers you right now?"

Tony takes a step back

"but what about Steve?"

"fuck Steve"

"no thank you"

Tony falls back onto the bed and Bucky follows along with him.

The next day an exhausted Tony is finally let out of bed. After a quickie in the shower, he demands that Bucky puts clothes on him and then carries him down to breakfast.

Bucky instead picks him up and carries the screeching, naked Tony down two floors and on to his and Steve floor. He kicks open the door to a startled Steve's room and throws the naked Tony at him. Naked Tony lands right on Steve's lap causing the both of them to go red.

"talk!"

Is all Bucky says before leaving the room to go get dressed. After half an hour, Bucky checks on the two hoping they didn't kill each other as there hadn't been any yelling since he left. What shocks him is what he sees when he opens the door.

A naked Tony riding an equally naked Steve. He let's them finish before he smirks and raises a brow while crossing his arms. He licks his lips as Tony slumps forward against Steve.

"I thought you weren't gay"

"I thought you weren't into Tony"

"that's my boyfriend"

"who I just fucked. What are you going to do about it?"

"best friends share"

"shut it Tony"

"just saying. I have choices you know"

"and your choices are as follows, you either walk away from all this, pick someone or and I can't believe I'm saying this, get your naked ass on that bed and let us have our way with you"

"I would prefer walking away from all this"

Bucky laughs as he knows the reason why he chose that option. He decides to be a little shit anyway.

"oh you picked the third option. Well aren't you just a nice guy."

Steve looks confused and stares at Bucky.

"it's because he hadn't been let out my dick all night until an hour ago before we came here"

Bucky hops on the bed and pats his lap.

"let's see how skilled Stevie is. I am so confused and a little turned on right now. Steve dear, do not pull out. Bring the genius over here and I'll just slide into his dm's right next to ya. Tony I plan on being the first to do everything on that v-card of yours. It's gonna be a first for everything"

And just like that Bucky and Tony found out that Steve was bi and had been into Tony since they first met. After an actual talk and hashing everything out, thanks to Bucky, Tony does a whole set of new things for the first time and it's been nothing but wonderful. Well if you can call it that.

*3 days later*

"I think I'm dead."

Tony drops on to Clint's lap looking warn out. Clint feeds Tony some of what he is eating and when he hears Tony's stomach growl, calls nat to bring home extra food. He gives Tony a massage while Tony spills out the juicey gossip.

"you do know Nat is gonna want to hear about this"

"yeah well she can wait while I get the massage ever. God your fingers are magic"

"I would ask if you wanted a test trial but Tweedledee and Tweedledum look like they want to murder me already"

"I'm naked and you are magical of course they are. They can't have this body for the next week. I'm done! You hear me! Done! My legs are jelly, my ass and throat are sore, i look like i got mauled by a vampire, no one should be Cummings that much that isn't superhuman or a god. I'm gonna be feeling it for days. Clint be m bodyguard for the next week"

"no problem Tony. Friday initiate protocol Clint's Baby Genius"

"yes sir"

"oh god you named it that?"

Clint ignores Steve and Buckys screams as they run down the hallway and back up to their room in order to continue looking after Tony.

Nat returns amd laughs as the boys recount everything that happened as they eat and watch movies for the rest of the night.

"friday activate Natasha's shell head please"

"yes ma'am"

"I hate you but love you both at the same time"

"love you too shell head"

Tony groans as the spies laugh.

[medeafive]

bucky and nat meet while competing to buy the last gourmet chocolate bar

(This was so much fun. I’ll probably continue it. Gah. Next week)

AU where Nat is a cop and Bucky is… not sure yet.

Paperwork was the fucking worst. As if it wasn’t bad enough that the crime lab lost her evidence- her evidence- now she was the one who had to file a F426 for missing evidence, a F426D4 because it’s about drugs, a notice to the court and the state attorney (Matt was going to be pissed), a complaint to the police chief, to the head of the crime lab (things had really gone downhill since Bruce left), register the drugs in the state-wide watchlist, a formal apology to the police chief even though it wasn’t her fault at all, and that was just today.

She couldn’t even bitch about it to Clint because he was on family leave. On the Bahamas. Though that didn’t sound all that pleasant, with a toddler. Her apartment was empty, ever since Sharon moved out last week. The fridge was even emptier. So she stopped by a fast-food chain and now, gorged on too many tasteless calories, she craved nothing but her chocolate.

It was quite a ride across town but somehow, even these days you couldn’t get this specific gourmet chocolate delivered. Not that she would have the patience to sit calmly and wait for it. She needed chocolate, and she needed it now. Dark, 76 percent cocoa, with a hint of orange. Sharon claimed it tasted bitter, but Sharon also puts sugar in her coffee (which should be illegal, frankly). So, Natasha would buy the chocolate, go home, lounge on the couch, eat the chocolate and watch some crime show while bitching about it to- well, no one in particular, since Sharon moved out.

The store was awfully crowded on this Friday evening. Oh, she had already forgotten that it would be Valentine’s Day on Sunday. Great. Loneliness day. Well, at least this year she didn’t have to help Sharon get ready and pretend not to be a little bit jealous. But chocolate stores in early February were a nightmare. Good Lord, she just wanted her chocolate, and if it cost her an arm and a leg. More likely due to the crowd than due to the price.

She elbows her way into the right section, really, all these clueless people pondering heart shaped monstrosities, just get out of her way. Her heart sinks when she sees how empty the shelves already are. Please not. She can handle the crowd, the red and pink decorations, the long ride, but if she can’t get her chocolate- she almost sees her life flash before her eyes. Or her weekend at least. She shoves people out of her way, heart pumping. She isn’t not one for praying but right now…

Her worst fear comes to life when she saw her chocolate, her beloved chocolate, the orange packaging she would recognize anywhere, and there’s a hand darting forward, slow motion, to her chocolate, the last bar of her chocolate-

The forms flash before her eyes, the face of the stupid lab guy that she almost punched, the sorry state of her apartment, the horrible weekend and the even worse week ahead, and now her chocolate is being snatched away right before her eyes-

“Hands up where I can see them! Drop it-”

A few people startle and turn to her small but fuming stature, but there’s so much other noise that only few hear her, and when they see her, just standing there tensely, they turn back around and dismiss the whole thing. Except for, of course, the guy whose hand is still infuriatingly close to her chocolate. Which is his only hand, as she realizes upon closer inspection, the left sleeve tied at the upper arm. But most striking is the amused look on his smug face that already tells her he is a total asshole. “Are you arresting me? Why?”

“Yes,” Natasha replies. “No. No, of course not. Just give me my chocolate.”

“Your chocolate?” the guy repeats, looking around demonstratively. His dark hair slides over his shoulder. “As far as I can tell, sweetheart, none of them has your name on it.”

“Don’t sweetheart me.” She’s so close to losing it. The only thing holding her back is that Fury won’t save her if she loses evidence and on the same day draws her gun in a chocolate shop. But God, her fingers itch. “If you can’t tell, I’m not in a good mood. I don’t think you want to fuck with me today.”

“I’m just buying chocolate for Valentine’s Day.” He’s actually kind of good looking, in an infuriating way, of course. His hair looks soft. Of course he has a girlfriend. Not that it matters. She’s such a mess. “Don’t think that’s illegal. So, if you don’t mind… I guess you just came too late, sweetheart.”

“I do mind.” She has to resist the childish urge to stamp her feet. Her brain is begging for chocolate. Just chocolate. Don’t bother with this guy, just get the chocolate. But it’s not that easy, of course. “I had a horrible day. I’m going to have a horrible weekend. God, just- give me the chocolate and I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Come on, this chocolate is too bitter anyways,” the infuriating handsome guy tries. “You’ll want to try something less dark. Really, I’m just taking this one because my go-to sold out.”

“Oh please, 27 percent sugar is more than enough,” Natasha deadpans. “And if you don’t like it, then just leave it to me.”

He picks up the chocolate bar, which makes her blood boil, and looks at the ingredients on the back. “Wow. 27, indeed.”

“Don’t think you can lecture me on chocolate,” Natasha threatens. “Especially my chocolate. And now leave it to someone who will really appreciate it.”

He smiles, shrugging with the armless shoulder. “Well, I guess we’ll have to make a deal, sweetheart.”

“I’m not sharing with you!” Natasha protests, mentally calculating how many Law and Order episodes half the chocolate bar would get her through. Not enough. “And for the last time, don’t call me sweetheart.”

“Guess I shouldn’t harass a cop,” he concludes, without seeming sincere in the slightest. “Okay. I’ll let you have it. Sweetheart.”

This thing stinks from a mile away. He’s still holding her chocolate bar. “What’s the catch?”

He grins. She’s starting to get the sense that his confidence is overplayed. “Let me buy you a coffee. Just one. That’s it.”

It really speaks to her desperation that she considers it. She doesn’t want a date. Romance doesn’t play well with her job. And then there’s all the other stuff, childhood trauma, anxiety, trust issues. Really, she’d rather bitch about everything to Clint and Sharon, who she knows and trusts, than even talk to a stranger. “I don’t drink coffee,” she lies.

“Really.” He doesn’t look impressed. Try harder. “Your chocolate is almost entirely beans.”

Think. This whole thing is making her nervous. Just the thought of going on a date makes her palms sweaty. After all the bad boyfriends she’s been through. “I thought you had a girlfriend. I thought you were buying chocolate for your girlfriend.”

He snorts, which looks unfairly attractive on him, his jaw, his mouth. “I said I was buying chocolate for Valentine’s Day, not for my girlfriend. You’re bad at listening, for a cop. I was going to eat it all by myself.”

That’s just what she was going to do. Chocolate. This must be what it’s like for all those drug junkies she deals with. “Okay, fine. Just one coffee. You pay.”

His face lights up as if he’s genuinely surprised. “Oh. Yeah, sure. I know this place… Well, I gotta head to the VA, but give me your number, I’ll text.”

“I said coffee, not phone number,” she reminds him, snatching the chocolate bar from his hand. He’s tall. Tall, dark and handsome. Not like she has a type. “And not on Sunday. My chocolate and I have plans for Sunday.”

“Let’s make it Tuesday,” he concludes. “It’s near the Concorde Music Hall, if you know where that is. When do you get off?”

She swallows the dirty reply she always gives Sharon. “I can make it by four. Probably.”

“Let’s say five,” he decides, sounding slightly sarcastic. Just like Sharon. “I’d text you the address but you won’t let me. It’s the Ipsento Café.”

“Thanks, I do have Google,” she replies dryly, already dying to get out of here and never see him again. He can’t make her come to a café on a Tuesday afternoon. He has nothing on her.

“Enjoy your chocolate,” he remarks, his mouth quirking up on only one side, like he knows what she’s thinking.

“Yeah,” she replies, already turning her back on him. “I will.”

[justsomewritingsandshit]

Thor’s King-Consort

Thor x Male!Reader, Loki, the Avengers, Nick Fury, Warriors Three, Lady Sif

Length: 1894 words

Warnings: none really fam, let me know if y’all enjoyed

Y/N, King-Consort to the King of Asgard, sat upon the planet’s golden throne. Said King-Consort’s face was drawn into a longing look, as he gazed towards the mural on the roof of the throne room. It was a royal mural, on which his husband was central. Y/E/C eyes grazed the painting’s features…

Missing Thor had become the new normal for Y/N, as the Asgardian in question was often away from his home. He spent six Midgardian months at-a-time on Midgard, defending said planet with his Avenger friends. However, considering the way that time works on Asgard, and the way that Asgardians age, six months should feel like nothing to Y/N. Yet, Y/N found himself constantly longing to see his husband… to kiss him… to touch him…

It felt like eons to Y/N, and though Thor was due back in only a few short weeks… it was decided that it was not going to be soon enough.

Like the lightning Thor produced, a mischievous thought struck the King-Consort. “Warrior’s Three, Lady Sif,” They stepped forward, “Will you inform my advisors’ that I shan’t be available today? I seem to have been suddenly taken ill,” Y/N let out a pathetically quiet cough, which fooled literally no-one, “Oh, there I go. See, ill. I’m much too unwell for any meetings, and as such I believe I should take rest in my chambers. It would behove me to ensure I do not allow such illness to spread to the kingdom.” His mischievous smile was very much reminiscent of his brother-in-law’s own.

The warriors that stood before him, all shared a lengthy look, before nodding to each other in confirmation. Turning back to their King-Consort, Lady Sif’s eyes sparkled with mirth, “’Tis the best course, indeed, majesty. Shall I also let the staff know to ensure your rooms be vacant, all day?”

Fandral was already nodding, “Hmm, that is a wise suggestion, my lady.” The man did not shy away from hiding his grin, “It would be awful to infect the servants with such ill-fated health.”

Agreeing wholeheartedly, Volstagg added, “The kingdom would be unable to run if the staff were taken ill.” The comment was true, and why the servants throughout Asgard were ensured payment for their services (payment that allowed them to afford anything they’d ever need).

“Truly. Well spoken, my friend.” Hogun patted the larger man on his back, nodding at the words.

“Thank you all.” Y/N stood from the throne, brushing down their copper tunic, “I shall retire then. ‘Goodnight’.”

“Sir,” Captain America’s blond head tilted up as he heard FRIDAY’s artificial voice filter into his personal quarters. “I’ve been informed that an incoming ‘Bifrost’ transportation tunnel is about to make contact with Earth.” Before Steve could even ask where, FRIDAY continued, “On the lawn in front of the building, sir. I’ve also told this information to King Thor, Prince Loki, Tony, and Director Fury.”

Steve quickly thanked the AI before he rushed out of the room, at top speed. He walked swiftly down four hallways, two sets of stairs, and then crossed the building’s foyer. Even still, he seemed to be the last to arrive on the scene. “Do we know who is coming?” Steve asked to the two members of Asgard’s royal line, only to receive negative head shakes in return from them.

No-one in the group spoke for a while, and during this silence they felt the air get muggy and dense around them. Loki, a seasoned Bifrost traveller, identified the beginning of the portal opening. He let his lips curl into a smirk, “We shall find out whom is arriving momentarily, Mister America.” Flashing lights suddenly wracked the front lawn, resembling what one could assume was the love-child of a rainbow and a lightning storm. When the dust and grass settled, a single man was kneeled in the space that had previously been light and commotion. Loki let out a slight breath, “Y/N?”

Instantly, Thor was off, running at the figure. His sudden movements put the others on edge – was this man a threat? “Y/N!”, the pure unadulterated happiness in Thor’s voice let his colleagues (and friends) know he trusted this ‘Y/N’. Thor launched himself on top of the man, causing both of them to stumble as they grasped each other tightly. The two stumbling men embraced, which left a chance for Fury, Tony and Steve to fully examine this person. He wore Asgardian-looking clothing, and a circlet-thing on his head… Steve let himself wonder if this was another member of Thor’s royal family? “Oh, what an amazing surprise!” Thor’s smile seemed impossible to diminish, “Have the Warriors Three and Lady Sif absconded from this trip, or do they follow shortly?”

Y/N shook his head, jostling Thor’s clothing slightly as he was pressed tightly to him, “Nay. They have allowed me this brief intermission in ruling, to see you.” Y/N gazed at him from beneath his lashes, he then murmured tenderly, “Far too long have you been gone.” His ran his hand over Thor’s hair, tugging at the strands. It was too intimate for Steve to watch.

Thor’s smile altered from his joyous grin to a sweet smise, “I, too, have missed you.” The words were uttered softly, as the two’s heads grew closer together. Ignored were the two gaping Avengers, and Steve who was looking the other way with a red face. Loki, also, had already removed his eyes from focussing on the two – he was a seasoned veteran when it came to avoiding his brother’s public displays of affection. When the two lovers finally parted, Thor gestured to his friends, “May I introduce you to my friends?”

Coyly, “I’d be delighted.”

Natasha Romanov stared at Y/N in deliberation. He was very attractive (as all Asgardians seemed to be). Vaguely, she wondered if she’d be able to get permission to have her next few vacation days on Asgard. Thor’s permission would be enough to get her in, surely, he is the king after all. And, if all else fails, she used to be a super-spy; Natasha was trained to infiltrate places she wasn’t supposed to.

Next to the Russian spy sat Clint Barton (formerly a circus-man), Sam Wilson (he wore wings, and saved lives, dammit!), Bucky Barnes (literally just a confused, old man), Wanda Maximoff (whom Loki had ‘agreed’ to ‘teach’ ‘magic’), and Vision (a confused, new man). They had all been beckoned to their shared living space, only to come face-to-face with an unknown but handsome Asgardian.

Clint, who had immediately perched himself on an armchair when he’d wandered into the room, threw his legs over the side of said chair and glanced at Loki’s barely-concealed amusement. He shared a look with Natasha, both in silent agreement on their appraisals of the situation.

Sam, who had been called to this weird sit-down half-way through teaching Bucky how to properly google something (he was damn tired of being asked stupid questions from the former military man), sighed loudly. “Are we all going to stare at each other, or can you tell us what’s going on, so we can leave?”

Fury gave him a single look, “Shut up.” Then, he gestured towards Loki, silently telling the ancient god to do the introductions, because he didn’t want to.

“This is the King-Consort of Asgard, Y/N.” Loki lazily waved his hand towards his tunic-wearing brother-in-law, “He is Thor’s husband.” It was a simple introduction really.

Natasha, who looked to be the least shocked out of everyone present (she was just well-trained), asked the question they all seemed to be thinking, “So, how long have you been married?” She then took a moment to whack her partner on the back of his head, stopping his gape, “Hey, I don’t know why you’re so shocked, Barton! You did the same thing to everyone else!”

“Which is why you would think Thor would have mentioned it then.” Tony muttered under his breath. Steve let out the tiniest smile having been close enough to hear him. “Be like, ‘Oh, you too have a hidden spouse! Astounding!’.” The impression of Thor was ridiculous, but it left Steve silently cracking up behind the hand covering his mouth.

Thor gained a focused look, “I believe,” He paused, “I believe that it is coming up to our centennial anniversary?” He looked to his husband for confirmation.

Y/N flung a sly look onto his face, “I would have thought you to remember it, what with how greatly you enjoyed the ‘honeymoon’.” Clint sputtered out some of the drink he’d picked up. “Thor, my love, I am offended.”

“Of course, I have not forgotten such wonderous times, my love!” Thor’s voice was distinctly sensual, which forced Loki’s eyes to roll upwards – just when he thought he was free of their ridiculous flirtations (separation by way of a universe should have been enough!), they persisted.

Despite feeling a little uncomfortable by the couple’s overt flirtation (if they were alone, he strongly felt like they might have been doing something not-safe-for-work), Bucky managed to ask about Y/N’s title, “What exactly is a King-Consort on Asgard?” To his knowledge, no such title existed on Earth. He wondered if he should use ‘the google’ or ‘Alexa’ to look it up, like Sam had been yelling at him to earlier.

“It is very much like a King-” Y/N began, only to be cut off by his ill-behaved brother-in-law.

“Well, Mister Barnes, the royal blood does not flow through Y/N’s veins,” Loki’s words dripped with his usual levels of arrogance, “As such, Thor has the royal title of King, whilst Y/N has King-Consort.” Y/N, from behind Loki’s turned head, pursed his lips at having been interrupted. Thor eased his irritation by pushing him into the love-seat, then sitting close enough to sit on his lap.

Steve was left perplexed by Loki’s half-explanation, “But what do you do, Y/N?”

Thor let out a loud laugh, thoroughly amused by his friend’s puzzlement to what he considered obvious. “Y/N rules Asgard in our stead, of course!”

“Seriously?”

Y/N frowned at the shock in the voice, “Should I be offended by their disbelief?” He tilted his head back towards his husband, “Do I not look capable?”

The blonde muscle-man shrugged, “Perhaps it is because you do not wear the clothes that Midgardian politicians do?” Y/N understood his logic, it was true that the popular tunic-and-long-pants of Asgard weren’t always the widespread items worn on other planets – Plurpline 7 enjoyed wearing undergarments only, while the peoples of Sempt X-4 wore tunics paired with their bare legs and tails only. Thor turned to his friends once more, “It is impossible for me to run Asgard whilst I am here on Midgard.”

There was silence, which was slightly awkward. None of the Avengers had ever put much thought into the fact that Thor had an actual planet, and a people, to lead.

“That is true,” Loki put in, “But truly, Heimdall could run Asgard by himself.”

Y/N playfully shook his head at Loki, “Don’t give Thor any ideas! He may replace me!”

A voice rumbled, “I would never.” Y/N let out a sensual grin and began to lean in, fully prepared to share a kiss with his lover. They were stopped by an invisible barrier that abruptly formed between them. Thor let out a sigh, “Loki.”

“Be quiet Thor. No-one here wants to witness that again.”

TAGGED:

@iamwarrenspeace, @stilesloverdaily, @itsnotnormalteen, @snowbubby1, @misskd94, @the-crime-fighting-spider, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @seninjakitey, @theshortegg, @gqlqxies

[imagine-loki]

Packless Monster

TITLE: Packless Monsters CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 6/? AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you’re a werewolf who ends up in the company of Loki in the Avenger’s tower after saving Pepper’s life RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

    Your ears flicked and you perked your head up with a soft growl when you heard footsteps coming toward the library. Loki petted your head. “I heard him. It’s just Stark,” he told you softly, in the perfectly calming way he had.

    “Hey, Reindeer Games. If you see the wolf, let her know we want to see her downstairs. Cap’s worried he hasn’t seen her eat anything. You know how he gets,” Tony announced as he walked into the room, as if he just expected that Loki would be here. You lifted your head to look over the back of the couch at Tony. “Shit! You could’ve said she was here,” Tony growled at Loki, who just chuckled.

    “You did not ask,” Loki replied pleasantly while Tony spluttered, surprised to see your wolf again. Loki turned his attention to you. “Are you alright to change?” you nodded, it had been a couple hours. “Why don’t you go change? I’ll entertain Stark and then we can all go see what the Captain wants.” You nodded again, hopped lightly down from the couch and ducked back into the side room to change forms again. You came back out a minute later to find Loki forcibly keeping Tony’s back turned to the room you had changed in.

    “Why were you a wolf again?” Tony asked as you headed back down to the main floor. He was just curious, so you answered and explained how you would heal faster by shifting forms. He thought that over, but didn’t say anything else, for once.

    “Hey, Cap, you were looking for me?” you asked as you entered the dining room. You cursed your wolf again for loosening your tongue. She was comfortable and liked these people. That was strange indeed. She hated your pack. Not that you blamed her, but it was still weird that you knew these people for less than a day and she liked them better than anyone you’d ever met.

    You were shocked when you saw the dining room table. It was covered in literature, print outs, and some kind of weird tablet-y screens. A quick glance showed that it was all research on werewolves. You stiffened, wondering if they were researching to help or hurt you. “Cap, I told you to clean this up before Tony found her,” Nat grumbled from the kitchen. “Sorry, Y/N. The boys wanted to understand your culture better and didn’t want to be rude asking questions,”

    “So they asked Google?” you laughed, making your way to where Nat was cooking some delicious smelling concoction. “You guys can just ask me,” you called into the other room.

    “Why don’t you come join us?” Cap asked kindly. You had walked past the group to the kitchen. You were going to have to learn quickly how to be around groups again, but for now…Nat had food and that was way more interesting than a room full of boys.

    You laughed again. “Because the food is out here!” you replied with a tentative smile to Nat. She was a harder one to figure out, but she seemed nice enough. She gave you a smile in return.

    “Get a bowl,” she gestured to the cabinet with her head. “You can have get some first.” You got three bowls out of the cabinet. Nat raised an eyebrow as you filled the three of them with her stew-like creation. You handed one of the bowls to her.

    “Chef gets first dibs,” you told her with a smile. She looked touched at your thoughtfulness. You took the other two into the dining room and handed the extra one to Loki. He looked up shocked, touched, and…confused, when you handed him the bowl. You shrugged with a shy smile. “Thought I’d save you the trouble of fighting the others,” you told him and sat down to focus on your bowl of stew, and not why on Earth you had thought that was a good idea. The chef getting the first serving was just good manners and tradition. But Loki? Damn wolf felt smug about it too and you grumbled at her about whatever she was up to. You looked over the documentation on the table while you ate, laughing at some of the ridiculous things people thought were true.

    No one interrupted you while you ate. They were getting food too and there was a scuffle over the stew pot while they jockied to get to the meal. Nat sat next to you while they fought, obviously pleased that she wasn’t in on the brawl.

    “So, Y/N, any help you’d like to give us about the wolves?” Clint asked, gesturing toward all the research that cluttered the middle of the table.

    “Um…” you hesitated, not sure what he was looking for. You gestured to the document you were laughing at. “We don’t turn into horny slavering idiotic beasts at the full moon,” you quipped. “Don’t know where people got that idea. Yes, we have to shift at the full moon, but I’m still me when I’m a wolf… And as you saw we can obviously change at other times too. We have higher metabolisms,” you added when Loki handed you another bowl of stew. You hadn’t paid attention to him getting up. “Thank you,” you directed that comment to Loki as he settled back in his chair with his second bowl of stew. “So I eat like a teenage boy, or an Asgardian apparently,” you shrugged and dug happily into the stew.

    The team let the subject drop there for now. They’d press you more later, but you gave them enough basics for one night. Cap went over the press conference for tomorrow and the team sat around telling stories until late that night.

    *

    You finally checked your phone before bed that night. There were tons of angry texts and voicemails from the pack. And unfortunately from your mom. You made the terrible decision of calling her back, pacing up and down the hall as you spoke to her. “No, mom, I’m not coming home. I’m finishing my degree.” You saw Loki peek his head out of his room as you paced past. You held a finger to your lips. You’d forgotten that he would possibly overhear your conversation. You were used to the girls in the dorm who didn’t care as long as you weren’t in their rooms on the phone. “Yes, mom, the Avengers are letting me stay with them. Yes, through graduation. No, I haven’t spilled any pack secrets to outsiders,” you chose your words and meanings carefully. “I’m not coming home,” you told her firmly. “Mom, I don’t care how hot he is. Hotness is not a defining character trait. I’m finishing my degree,” you told her firmly. That was as close as you could get to telling her that you had no interest in the arranged marriage. You weren’t going to marry that douche-bag, no matter what she said. “I’ll talk to you later, mom,” you said and ended the call. You sighed and glared at the phone.

    “Are you alright, love?” Loki asked, concerned.

    You gave him a smile. “Moms, they always worry,” you replied instead of answering his question. You were used to censoring your words. You couldn’t lie to werewolves. “Sorry, I got used to the dorms where the only place to pace was the hallway. Didn’t mean to disturb you,”

    “It’s no trouble,” he replied, still concerned.

    You gave him a better smile. “Goodnight, Loki,” you told him and headed back to your own room, turning your phone to silent so you didn’t have to deal with the pack anymore for awhile.

    “Goodnight, little wolf,” he replied fondly. You grinned at his familiarity, knowing it was a rarity for him to get attached to anyone this quickly. You’d learned a lot about the team during the stories they told that evening. Thor was one thing, he loved everyone and reminded you of one of the puppies.  Loki?  Loki wasn’t.  

    *

    The next morning you found yourself backstage at the location Tony had picked for the press conference. You weren’t quite sure where it was, you hadn’t been paying attention on the drive, instead you were drawing small anxious circles on the back of Loki’s hand with a finger. He had noticed you were twining your hands and clenching your fists in nerves. He’d offered his hand silently so you didn’t dig your nails into your palms anymore. Drawing the anxious little circles were helping your nerves.

    “It’ll be alright, Y/N. Cap’s doing all the talking. He’s good at this sort of thing,” Nat told you. You were wearing a demure dress that you had borrowed from her, luckily you were close enough in size that the dress fit and looked good on you. You were going shopping after this to replace your wardrobe.

    “Y/N, can’t you do anything else with your hair?” Tony asked. “It looks like you were raised by wolves,”

    You growled at him. “I was raised by wolves, and spent almost all of my time in the woods. I have two hair styles, ponytail or down in a mane of curls. Pick one,” you grumbled. “And before you say anything, no, I don’t own makeup, never have, and have never worn the stuff,” you continued grumbling, defensive and anxious.

    Nat sighed and sat you on a chair in front of her. “Let me,” she told you.

    “Seriously, Tasha? Move over,” Clint told her and took her chair. “Close your eyes, Y/N,” he said as he took the makeup from Nat and got to work. “I have way more experience at this than she does,”

    “I wouldn’t go that far,” Nat replied.

    “I would,” Clint quipped back pleasantly as he worked on your makeup. At the same time, you felt gentle fingers in your hair, teasing the curls out to look more manageable and braiding the sides back into a knot, forming a half-ponytail.

    “How did you get so good at that?” Nat asked the person working on your hair. You had assumed it was her, not bothering to listen to your senses which were already on edge from the press conference, but obviously it wasn’t her.

    “Practice,” Loki’s voice replied calmly as he worked. His own hair was shoulder length, but you couldn’t imagine him braiding his own hair.

    They were both soon done with you and you were shocked when you saw yourself in the mirror. You’d never looked so nice. “Thank you both.”

    “It’s time!” Cap called to your group. You all started toward the stage.

    “One last thing,” Tony told you. He came up behind you and with a practiced gesture had clasped a necklace around your neck, lifting your hair so the necklace landed properly. “You need a bit of bling,” he explained.

    You followed the others out onto the stage and were grateful that Cap was doing all of the talking. You were impressed with his lies that you’d been working with the team this entire time. His honest nature sold the lies, though you still tasted them. You tried to call on your wolf when he allowed questions, but she was lethargic…asleep?… and couldn’t offer you strength, so you had to answer the questions on your own. Cap was standing right next to you and fielded questions you couldn’t or wouldn’t answer, but you answered what you could, said again that you had saved Pepper’s life and the lives of the others in that room and how you would continue working with the team.

    You were relieved when the press conference ended. It had been way more draining than you had expected. Way more draining than it should have been. You stepped forward and took Loki’s arm as you walked off the stage. He hadn’t offered it, but didn’t seem to mind and didn’t show any surprise when you did. Instead he just shifted his arm to better escort you. You focused on the feel of his suit jacket under your hand and keeping your feet moving, wondering what was wrong with you.

    You tried calling your wolf again, but she didn’t stir.

    The second you were backstage again, you stumbled into Loki. “Sorry,” you murmured, exhaustion and darkness clouding your thoughts.

    “Y/N? Are you alright? Did your wounds reopen somehow?” Loki asked as he steadied you. His voice was concerned. You shook your head.

    “No, I’m not injured,” you told him softly. Why was everything so…lethargic? It was so hard to focus on anything or anyone.

    Your knees buckled and you crashed into Loki, hard. He actually stumbled as he caught you. “Y/N!” he exclaimed. He had steadied you, but your eyes had shut and you couldn’t get your legs to support you again. He swept you into his arms, but laid you on a nearby bench a moment later.

    “What’s wrong?” the others demanded, circling around worriedly, but you couldn’t get your eyes to open again. Everything was too much effort. You just wanted to lie down with your wolf and sleep. She already was asleep…

    “Wait,” Nat’s voice. She touched your neck. “What’s this red line-? Shit!” She grabbed the necklace Tony had clasped on you before the press conference and carefully unclasped it, removing it as quickly and carefully as she could. “Where’d she get this?” Nat demanded.

    “Stark put it on her before the conference,” Loki’s voice. “What’s wrong with it?” his voice was angry, demanding, accusing.

    “She needed something nice to wear,” Tony protested.

    “It’s silver. Werewolves can’t stand silver. That’s in every werewolf story ever.” Nat snapped at him.

    You made a soft noise, fighting to wake before your wolf. She would be pissed when she woke from whatever this was. It was a struggle, but you finally got your eyes open. “Y/N!” Loki’s voice and expression were such open relief.

    “I’m ok,” you told him softly, fighting to sit up. Loki helped you. It took all of your willpower not to lay your head against him and go to sleep.

    “Why didn’t you tell us you’re allergic to silver?” Tony demanded, angry that he looked bad for you being in this state. You looked past Loki to him.

    “I only knew it was silver weapons that we have issues with. That didn’t seem relevant,” you told him tiredly. You would’ve been embarrassed by what had happened had you been more awake and aware.

    “Can you walk? We should really get out of here and back to the tower,” Cap’s voice was gentle, but he was urgent. You nodded and let Loki help you to your feet.

    “I’m ok,” you told them. You were sure you weren’t convincing. In fact, you were sure you weren’t convincing at all. Loki wrapped his arm around you, supporting you on the walk back to the SUV. You were asleep with your head on his shoulder moments after you were both in the backseat of the SUV. You couldn’t stay awake with your wolf still lethargic and asleep.

    The scary monster werewolf had been taken out by a pretty, but unremarkable, silver necklace.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Fairytales

Part 2 of 2

A/N: I got all the Russian endearments from a website that listed endearments. I put them in Google translate and they seemed vaguely right, so... sure.

He was really not expecting this. And he wasn't ready for this conversation, not really. The panic he was feeling must be showing on his face because Bucky slouched, making himself look smaller. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping well, which made Tony’s stomach clench with guilt. He had done that to him.

They stared at each other, before JARVIS broke the silence. “Would you like me to save the simulation results, Sir?”

Tony jumped. “Yes, yeah, save and shut it down, J.” He took a deep breath. He was an adult. He could do this. “Wanna sit?” He waved a hand at the workshop. There was the couch that he had transformed into his bed, and a few stools scattered around.

Bucky nodded, and chose the couch. “Sit with me?”

Tony sat. He was an adult. He could do this. He opened his mouth, but Bucky beat him to it.

“I’m sorry.”

Frowning, Tony turned to face Bucky. “For what?” Buck didn’t have anything to be sorry about. He was the one who ran and hid for a week, ignoring his soulmate. He was the one who was a complete asshole, not Bucky.

“For-” Bucky paused. “Whatever you need me to be?”

Tony huffed out a laugh. “What a pair,” he muttered, shoving a hand through his hair. He let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry. I was an ass. I should have said something. Or not hidden away. For so long. Or said something. Sooner. Did I say that?” He mentally cringed at that terrible apology. “It really had nothing to do with you, but I took it out on you.” There, that sounded like an apology from someone who had their shit together.

Bucky nodded slowly. “I thought it was. Me, I mean. I understood.”

Tony reached over and took his hands. The contrast between the metal and the flesh hands was startling, but this wasn't the time to geek out. “No.” He said it firmly. leaving no room for disagreement or questioning. “This was 100% my hang ups.”

“That's what Natasha said. And Steve. And Clint, and Bruce, and Pepper, and Rhodey.”

Tony colored. “They all talked to you?”

(Watch out for the break!)

“I was pretty bummed,” Bucky said frankly.

Well, ouch. He probably deserved that. He definitely deserved that. “I’m sorry,” he said again. It was all he could say. “Tell me how to make this up to you.”

Bucky smirked, and there was an echo of the old Bucky Barnes from the war reels in it. “I can think of somethin’.” Then he sobered, looking more like the man Steve had brought in two weeks ago. “Give this a try?”

Tony could try. He was the king of trying. Plus, that smirk. It would take a saint to resist that.

He definitely wasn't.

“Yeah. I can do that.”

--

It wasn't easy. They had moments of awkwardness, and they had to sometimes pick their way around each other’s triggers, of which there were plenty between the two of them. They had arguments, and they spent time apart cooling off. But they both tried.

Sometimes Tony overcompensated for being an asshole for that first week, but Bucky would gently remind him that he accepted him exactly as he was, hang-ups and all, and Tony would quickly settle back into relative normalcy.

“Hey snowflake,” Tony said cheerfully. They had had a talk the night before, which was a nice euphemism for crying while talking about their emotions and needs. But like always, today was a fresh day. They had promised, early on, not to go to bed angry at each other, and it helped a lot. Their fights were further apart, and they were closer than ever. “What's up?”

“Can I just come see my cахарок[1] for no reason?” Bucky asked, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist from behind. Tony was sitting in a stool, working on another project for SI.

“Sure you could. You haven't yet.”

Bucky kissed the side of his neck gently, and Tony melted into his arms. “So, what brings you down to my lair?”

“I brought you coffee,” he said, nodding towards the mug that was set on the work table. “And some cookies.”

Tony lit up. “Coffee? For me?”

Bucky nuzzled his nose behind Tony’s ear. “For you, baby.”

Tony half turned in his seat and kissed Bucky. “You’re my hero.”

“I know.”

“Want to stay and help with the gauntlets?” Ever since Bucky had seen Tony working on the Iron Man suit, he had been obsessed, asking question after question, and would be content to sit and watch Tony work on even the most mundane of details if it had anything to do with the suit. Eventually, Tony had started offering to let him help, and Bucky had nearly vibrated off the seat, he was so excited. When Tony asked, Bucky had shrugged, and evaded his eyes about why he loved the Iron Man suit so much.

It wasn't that important, and it was honestly pretty flattering, so Tony let it go, since Bucky seemed so embarrassed.

“Absolutely!” He seemed as enthusiastic as ever.

--

They started going out on dates, a month after they broke the news that James Buchanan Barnes was still alive, courtesy of a knock-off serum. They spun the story a little bit. Since the Winter Soldier was a ghost story for even top intelligence agencies, they didn't release that Bucky had been the Winter Soldier. All that was stated was that he was alive due to a bastardized super-soldier serum and some non-reproducible freezing methods. The very idea that a second super-soldier from World War II was still alive and young was more than enough to feed the media frenzy.

It was assumed that the real story would leak eventually, but until it did, this allowed the public to see the new Bucky before they saw him as a weapon.

Probably. The public was fickle.

Plus he was soulmates to Tony Stark, who was sometimes America’s darling and sometimes the devil incarnate. He could never keep up. He still felt a pang of sadness in situations like this that Bucky was saddled with him as a soulmate, but Bucky had said over and over that he was more than delighted to have him as his soulmate. He had no choice but to believe him.

“Here, try this,” Tony said, offering his fork to Bucky. It was salmon with a citrus sauce. Ever since they had started going out, Tony had delighted in introducing Bucky to new foods. Before the war, Bucky and Steve had been poor. During the war, the army was more interested in easy and moveable than interesting, and Hydra? All Hydra cared about was that their Asset was functional.

So now he got to show Bucky new things every time they ate out. Sushi. Fish. Duck. Escargot had been a memorable experience. They had even both tried snake, at a restaurant in LA. Tony because he would try anything at least once, and Bucky because Tony had dared him.

“It ain’t snail, is it?”

Tony shook his head. “Just salmon. You'll like it.”

Obligingly, Bucky opened his mouth and let Tony feed him the bite of salmon. Swallowing, he nodded. “S’good.”

Tony felt a flush of warmth, having picked something his soulmate liked. It was ridiculous, but he liked pleasing Bucky.

“How's your steak?” No matter where they were, if steak was on the menu, then Bucky got it. He had a ranking of every steak he had eaten so far, with several categories. Tony wasn't sure how he assigned points or kept track, but between Bucky and JARVIS, there were nearly twenty different steaks on the list now.

“Great!” Bucky said enthusiastically. “Better than last week’s steak. Want some, Лучик?”[2] He offered Tony a bite.

Tony accepted, just like he did every time. “You're right, this is better.”

Bucky gave him a quick kiss before stealing a bite from Tony’s plate.

“Hey!”

Laughing, Bucky offered Tony another piece of steak.

--

Tony still spent a lot of hours in the workshop. He did, after all, work full time as the head of R&D for SI, full time as a consultant for SHIELD, and full time as essentially the quartermaster who also designed the weapons for the Avengers. Bucky never complained, since Tony put in an effort to watch the time, and if he forgot, to leave when Bucky came to collect him.

“My Дракончик[3], you've been down here for hours,” Bucky said, startling Tony.

Tony steadied the soldering iron before he dropped it. “It's only been what, ten, twelve hours? I've gone longer, haven't I J?”

“Sir, it's been nearly twenty. And while you indeed have worked longer without sleep, that doesn't mean you should.” JARVIS’s tone was disapproving.

Frowning, Tony pulled up a clock. “It really has been twenty hours. He tried to stand, but his back protested and he sank back down. “Ouch.”

“What’s wrong?” Bucky’s voice was worried.

“Just knotted up my back pretty badly,” Tony admitted. “Have to move slower.”

Bucky settled his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “How about a hot shower, and then I give you a massage?”

Tony could already feel the knots disappearing. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Bucky brushed a kiss over the top of Tony’s head. “You did nothing but be you.” He helped Tony stand, and walked with him to the elevator.

“Flattery will get you everywhere, cupcake,” Tony told him.

“You're in no shape for what I want, Зайчонок[4],” Bucky said, his voice deep and gravelly. “At least, not yet.”

Tony felt that tone go all the way through him down to his toes, but he gave Bucky a baleful look. “Did you just call me a bunny?”

Bucky had the grace to look embarrassed, but didn't take it back. “You are pretty cute, Зайчонок,” he said, flicking Tony’s nose.

Tony rolled his eyes as the elevator door opened but didn't press it. The nicknames, as silly as they were sometimes, made his heart go a little bit gooey. “I believe you promised me a hot shower and a massage?”

“To begin with.”

--

Tony had been tossing the idea around for a while now in his head, and had even worked out a few schematics, but he wanted to ask Bucky before he went any further. The arm, while a serious piece of engineering marvel, was old. It needed near constant updates and maintenance, and while Bucky never said anything, he could tell it was causing him some stress. And the maintenance sometimes caused pain, which made Tony feel like the worst person in the world.

“J, can you get Bucky down here?”

“Of course, Sir.”

In under three minutes, Bucky appeared. “What’s up, котенок[5]?” Kitten was his favorite endearment for him, and it was growing on him. Other still made regular appearances, but котенок came out once or twice a day.

“So,” Tony started, suddenly hesitant. The arm was a painful subject for Bucky. Literally painful, given the way it was grafted on to him. Clumsily, he searched for words. He finally just blurted it out. “I want to build you a new arm.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “You what?”

“Only if you want me to!” Tony said in a rush. “It's just- I know maintenance is sometimes painful and it's tedious and I know that it's heavy and it's a lot of work and I could help with all of that, but only if you want!” He repeated.

Bucky was looking at him with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open.

“Please say something.”

“You’d do that?”

A little hurt, Tony frowned. “Of course I would.”

As if realizing, Bucky hastened to explain. “It just seems like a lot of work, when you could be doing more important things.”

Softening, Tony crossed the room to him. “James Buchanan Barnes. There is nothing more important to me than you.”

Bucky clutched Tony’s hands. “I love you,” he said, suddenly.

Tony blinked.

“I know that emotional things give you hives, but-”

Tony raised one of their clasped hands up with his pointer finger held upright in a ‘hold on a second’ gesture. He processed the words. Bucky loved him. His soulmate loved him. Him.

Maybe fairytales did come true, sometimes.

“I love you, too,” he said hoarsely. “I really do.”

Bucky reeled him in close, and kissed him long and hard. Tony let go of Bucky’s hands to wind his hands around his neck and into Bucky’s hair.

Breaking apart for breath, Bucky peppered Tony’s face with little kisses. “I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I love you so much, Tony.”

Tony pulled him in closer, and just held him in a hug. “I'm so lucky to have you,” he replied. “And I love you too, Bucky.”

[1] cахарок - sugar [2] Лучик - sunbeam/ray of light [3] Дракончик - little dragon [4] Зайчонок - bunny [5] котенок - kitten

[blissfullylostinarabbithole]

Soldier’s Heart Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: Finding Flower becomes a team effort, and the Soldier has no choice but to put his trust in them.

A/N: Again, Bold is in meant to be in Russian (I wanted to do it properly, but google translate is a joke so I scrapped that).

<< Prev  .  Next >>

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve started every conversation that way since Bucky decided to stay in the containment chamber.

“It’s me, Steve,” he replied, smiling at his friend’s relief. “Anything?”

“Not yet.” He hated that he couldn’t do anything more to ease his worry. “We checked all the places he told us,” he said, referring to the Soldier. “Do you have anything that could help us?”

Bucky sighed and ran both his hands through his hair. “No. They’d have moved her as soon as they realized I was gone, anyway.”

“Who is she?” Steve took a seat opposite the wall next to Bucky’s bed.

He looked lost. “I don’t know. I just remember after every mission, she was there, waiting for me.”

“Do you remember anything else?”

The tiniest smile graced Bucky’s lips. “She always had dirty feet.” He smiled a little more at Steve’s soft chuckle. “I don’t know why, but she did.”

“I can see how important she is to you. To both of you.”

“We’re the same person, Steve…”

“No, you’re not,” he said with a conviction that left no room for arguing.

Bucky sighed and shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense… why haven’t they used her to try and draw me out?”

“Have you given any thought… that maybe they didn’t keep her around?” Steve asked warily.

“No.” Natasha walked into the room, carrying Bucky’s lunch. “It’s not like they don’t know Barnes is here. They’d have sent her to him in pieces.”

“Romanoff!” Steve warned.

“She’s right. She’s still alive.” Bucky looked to him, desperation evident in his eyes. “You have to find her.”

“We will, Buck. I promise,” he assured him.

Steve found it was a promise that was getting harder and harder to keep. As time passed, and facility after facility was emptied without a trace of Bucky’s Flower, all of them were starting to lose hope. Steve was more disturbed by their failure than anyone, not only because he felt he was letting his friend down, but because the Soldier’s appearances were becoming more frequent. He was also becoming less compliant, demanding to be let out to find her himself. Bucky wasn’t much different. He wanted to go on their missions to find her, but everyone kept reminding him that since his memories of her started returning, he was losing his control over the Soldier.

He always scolded himself when he was feeling guilty. While they turned up empty handed where the girl was concerned, they still managed to free a lot of prisoners from the facilities they shut down. So seeing the missions as failed made Steve feel even worse. He knew Bucky tried to be understanding, but he couldn’t forget the brief look of disappointment that flashed on his face whenever he reported back to him alone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They had no reason to think this facility would be any different from the previous ones. The size was similar, as was the intel. Only Tony, Clint, and Natasha had gone. Once they got inside, they saw how wrong they were in thinking they wouldn’t be facing more than couple dozen agents.

“They’ve got something big here. There’s no way the this place can sustain this many agents for long,” Clint said when all enemies were downed.

“Agreed.” Natasha began searching through files. “Spread out and find what needed this much protection.”

Clint took the top floors, while Tony headed to the basement.

Not long later, Tony rang in their ears. “Uh, guys? You might wanna get down here.”

“There’s more?” Natasha asked, pulling her weapon back out.

“No.”

“Hostages?”

“Just one… of the frozen variety.”

They met Tony and began the process to free the girl in the chamber, taking aim as they watched her adjust to being defrosted.

She looked up at the three people before her, her brow slightly furrowed. She didn’t recognize them, but when they didn’t make a move, she tore her eyes from them and began looking around the room. Her dazed look quickly turned to one of distress.

“Where’s my soldier?” her soft voice cracked.

Natasha’s eyes widened in shock. “Shit,” she whispered.

“What? Why are we swearing?” Tony grew slightly alarmed.

“Flower?”

“Yes?”

“We found her…” she said breathlessly, tucking her weapon into its holster.

“Wait, Barnes’ girl? This is her?” Clint lowered his weapon, hardly believing the person they’d been searching for for months was finally in front of them.

“Shouldn’t we be restraining her?”

“Seriously?” Natasha was unimpressed. “Look at her. She’s afraid.”

“We don’t know what she’s capable of.”

“No, but we do know what Barnes can do, and he may not be happy if she shows up in cuffs,” Clint warned.

“Where’s my soldier?” she asked a little more steadily.

“What’s she want?” Tony didn’t lower his arm, still not convinced she wasn’t a danger.

“She’s asking for Barnes.” She held her hand out to the girl. “He’s waiting for you.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Steve was training in the gym when his phone rang. He was about to hit ‘ignore’ when he saw Natasha’s name on the screen. He tore off his wrappings straightaway and answered. “Nat, what’s wrong.”

“Steve, we think we found her. I’m going to send a picture. See if you can get Barnes to confirm it’s her.”

“Oh my god,” he breathed a sigh of relief.

“I wouldn’t start celebrating yet, old man. We need a positive I.D. first, then we need to survive the trip back.”

“Just send the picture.” He hung up, running down to Bucky’s containment area. When he burst into the room, he knew it was the Soldier from the way he stood, ready for a fight. Steve ignored it and approach the glass, pressing his phone against it. “Is this her?”

His shoulders relaxed, and he quickly closed the distance. Steve had his answer when he saw the Soldier’s features soften. He brought his hand up to the glass, as if hoping he could feel her through it. He nodded in response to Steve, never taking his eyes off the phone.

Steve slowly removed the phone, not wanting to anger the other man, but nothing happened. He called Natasha back and confirmed the girl they had was indeed Bucky’s Flower. “They’re bringing her back. They should be here by tonight,” he informed him before turning to leave.

“Thank you,” he said in a voice that clearly wasn’t Bucky’s.

Steve faced the man and smiled. “Thank us when she’s back in your arms, Soldier.”

A few hours passed before Natasha called back. She’d tried asking Flower who she was and why they had her, but she insisted she didn’t know, only asking again about Bucky. In the end, Natasha had to resort to searching the files she copied before leaving.

“Y/N?” she asked, watching Flower’s head tilt in curiosity.

“You’ve been at it for hours and that’s all you got?” Tony groaned.

She shoved the laptop toward him, telling him he was more than welcome to try before turning her attention back to Flower. “Does that sound familiar?”

Her face scrunched in distaste. “I… think so?”

Though the girl hadn’t asked, Natasha began to tell her how they’d been looking for her on the Soldier’s behalf. She explained they were friends of his, and ensured that you were being taken somewhere safe.

“Uh, you might want to get Cap on the phone…” Tony trialed off.

Back at the compound, Steve called everyone into the conference room.

“We have a slight problem,” Steve said. He put the phone on speaker as everyone filed in. “Go on, Natasha.”

“Her name is Y/N L/N, and she’s been in Hydra’s custody since 1973.”

Everyone looked at each other in shock.

“The files are heavily encrypted and the one’s we’ve read don’t say much other than she was used to subdue the Asset. Given his behavior regarding her, her power over him extended to the emotional.”

“Does she have abilities?” Sam asked. “She must to have survived this long.”

“No clue. Again, there isn’t much and she’s not remembering anything except Barnes. For some reason they’re more secretive about her than they were about the Soldier.”

“Where did she come from?”

“That’s for you to find. We’ll be there in a few hours and we can keep trying to crack this.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Connecticut!” Sam called as he walked into the common room, catching everyone’s attention. “She was born to the L/N family in 1951, second daughter and the youngest of five children. Her parents reported her missing in 1964.” He handed out copies of a ‘missing’ poster the police department still had on file. “She went out for ice cream, and didn’t come home. She was never found.”

“Til now,” Wanda commented.

“Til now.”

“So they just took this girl off the street?” Bruce asked. “That doesn’t make sense. I mean, there had to be something about her for them to take her and keep her files as bare as possible.”

Wanda rubbed her temples, frustrated with the lack of information. “Nat said they had her since ’73. That’s nine years unaccounted for.”

Bruce shook his head, “She also said they’re being more careful about her. Maybe ’73 is just what’s on record.”

“What of her family?” Pietro looked on the young girl’s photo with sadness. “Were they affiliated in any way?”

“Nope. Her dad fought in the war while her mom worked as a seamstress and raised her oldest brother and sister. When her dad returned, two more brothers came along before she did. Aside from her disappearance, all seemed pretty ordinary. At least, all her siblings went on to live normal lives.”

“Are any still alive?” Wanda asked.

“Not sure.”

“Shouldn’t we try to contact them?” Steve finally spoke. “If not to find out if there was anything different about her, then to tell them she was found?”

“Yeah,” Sam raised a brow at him. “and show up with a girl in her 20s? How do you think that’s gonna go?”

“I agree,” Bruce cut in before Steve could respond. “She disappeared when she was 13, so they may not even recognize her. Nevermind that they’d probably be expecting someone in their 60s.”

“We could still question them, couldn’t we? We don’t even have to say we have a lead or anything, just that we’re looking to open some old cases.” When no one disagreed, he turned back to Sam. “Find them.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Everyone noticed the way Y/N froze as they were exiting onto the hangar, and were immediately on high alert.

“Calm down,” Natasha calmly but firmly ordered. “What’s wrong?”

“You said my soldier would be here,” she accused.

“He is. He’s inside.” Turning back to the people waiting, she asked, “What the hell are all you doing here?”

“She needs a medical exam, Agent.” Fury stressed. “And for the record, I never approved such a retrieval. Since she’s already here, you go by protocol from here on out.”

“How long will it be until she’s cleared?” Steve asked, arms crossed and jaw clenched.

“If she cooperates, it shouldn’t be more than a few days.”

“I promised Bucky he’d be with her by the end of the day.”

“Well, Captain, then you can tell him you were mistaken. Find whatever’s going on with that girl,” he ordered before storming out.

Y/N’s eyes widened when she saw the size of the needle the approaching orderly was carrying.

“I need you to hold her,” he said as she took a step back.

“No,” both Clint and Natasha said. Tony stepped away from her.

The orderly looked to Steve, who only shook his head. The other agents began to approach, pausing when the girl whispered something to Natasha.

“What’s going on?” one of the agents demanded.

“She’s afraid for you.” Natasha smiled at their confused expressions. “She said he’s going to kill you all.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Her cries were tearing him apart. He would face anything, endure anything, to keep her safe. The noises were drowned out by his own shouts as he struggled to free himself of his restraints. It was his fault; he wouldn’t cooperate, so they wanted to punish him by erasing him from her mind and doing who knows what else. A piercing scream threw him into a white hot rage. His body gave one final tug, snapping his bindings.

Everyone in the room turned from the thrashing girl as the door flew off its hinges, and scrambled when they saw murder in the Asset’s eyes. One by one, he snapped their necks, smashed their heads against walls, or beat them beyond recognition.

When all he could hear were her soft whimpers, he began to make soothing sounds as he approached. Gingerly removing her from the table, he hummed the song she’d been dancing to when he found her in an attempt to calm her. He pulled her to the floor and cradled her, begging her forgiveness and promising anyone that harmed her would never live to do so again.

From then on, every bruise, stumble, even a harsh word, someone answered for it. Whoever it was would just disappear, only to be found when others started noticing the smell of decay. It wasn’t long until word got out. People watched their tone when addressing her, stopped fighting back during training, and trainers quit calling her in altogether.

Separation became his form of punishment. After each reunion, he studied her carefully to ensure no one had been rough with her, even if she began getting harder to hurt and could heal almost as quickly as he could.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Soldier!”

Her voice snapped him from his memory and he stood rooted on the spot. His eyes flickered from her to the people surrounding her, wondering if they would let her go to him as promised, or if they would begin to make demands.

“Back against the wall,” Natasha ordered. Steve shot her a look and she added, “Please.”

He backed up as far as could, eyes no longer leaving his Flower. Clint opened the door to the chamber, and she looked around at them, unsure if she could move forward.

“It’s ok.” Steve smiled encouragingly, and tilted his head toward the Soldier. “Go on.”

With their blessing, she ran toward him and launched herself into his arms. They kissed passionately, causing the others to avert their eyes.

“They do know we can see them, right?” Tony asked, gagging at their moans.

The Soldier put her down and immediately started to look her over for injuries.

“I’m ok,” she whispered, not wanting the redhead to hear. “They put me in cryo alone, but I’m not hurt.”

“I’m sorry.” He pulled her into hug and buried his face in her neck, inhaling the scent he dearly missed and humming the tune from his memory.

“Guys?” Steve called apologetically. “We’re going to give you a couple of days to catch up, but after that, we’re gonna need you to try to remember why she was there.”

The Soldier gave him a curt nod. “Thank you.”

As they were leaving, Tony stopped to address them. “Remember there are cameras in there. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want others seeing.”

“Don’t worry, little flower,” he released a low, throaty chuckle when she began looking around. “There’s no camera in the shower.”

~ ~ TAG LISTS ~ ~

Permanent -  @melconnor2007 @ria132love @psychicwitchphilosopher @sireennotsiren  @silence–in–the–library

Avengers - @majd943

Bucky - @cassandras-musings

[airoasis]

"Rock a Hula Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 7 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/rock-a-hula-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-7-dead-parrot/

"Rock a Hula Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 7 | Dead Parrot

I am society from ancient India have been ruled via women fairly my guys weren’t allowed around females with out license and have been put in the car and told off for being sexist anyway you are going to do a track from you to me new album for us now God what an agent she’s under no circumstances completely happy until she’s complaining about something oh you are correct there take I believe this new song is in regards to the Catholic Church oh here she goes it is about how the church in eire ordinarily had plenty of potatoes in the course of the famine they usually hit the pendulum the pill and that i fell to my storage as expertise fare holes closed down a variety of the factories that were making the potatoes and turned them into prison for children God on my cheek without doubt this existed was anything sinister certainly I mean wow the main issue with she appears to be taking the entire Catholic King somewhat severely Ted sure I imply it is just a bit of amusing stop talking and it’s simply whole radical feminism lack to quite get my purpose what this proposal that the Catholic Church is a few sort of bad perspective to women k she’s doing a tune Candace what you smash air hole cramps or you love them what what you’re making of all these items you failed to come to the church is somewhat sexist Oh God no father I’ve invariably known the church very aware of my views I imply I don’t forget one time I was having horrible troubles at house and the church manner aid then i do know a different we wish to roam the church down however I acquired a load of house owners extra more lon thanks for asking father but no no I haven’t any complaints at all yeah Oh No sorry goes mad if i’m a 2nd days with this drink drink you know you will have to rather get a haircut he’s constantly got too some distance down that Bob Geldof position oh that is a nasty avenue it is indeed Google i would like you have got long gone down as there isn’t a coming again as Bob himself or Kenya what did you pay for the cabinets Ted Dada i don’t rather take into account him these is not going to last you look at that she might speak that into comment down well there is plenty of first-rate on to know provide us a name Oh God okay i will be able to suppose it we did it kid ah appear at that picture it is falling apart have a bit cup of tea Liam reasonable ample so am what you want to talk to me about oh sure now you were planning i’m going to d’lovely garyun competition this 12 months we’re mature oh yes I I by no means missed the lovely girls that is my absolute favorite time of year well I was once this lovely lady 1995 doing Aragog Ted we had a stripper of her title Oh God why we discovered she’s been in a movie called stallion Sam I heard us was a bit impolite anyway i’m chairman of the organizing committee this yr and i used to be questioning in case you wanted to judge it shudders what cuddly would now not too hot and there’s the dinner afterwards in there oh sure sure you’ve gotten the dignity of taking the winner out for me and that i consider who pays for it is not me did I hear that somewhere oh you suck alternative we introduced that in a couple of years in the past you’ve the glory of taking her off for me and she had been on roti how much fuck stereo this sort of backtest about 100 kilos I would have obtained your grace and probably after carefully anyway you were pronouncing oh sure now whilst you take the lovely lady out to dinner could you ever persuade her to put on considered one of my Mami’s dresses she could use the publicity right how’s the industry going oh satisfactory she bought one last week what number of is that purpose this yr that might be one you see and sincerely factor we inspiration is be a little bit of an ass getting a priest to evaluate it this yr additionally it eliminates any sexual part to the red or and that i mistaken friend i’m hoping you is not going to be tempted through all those beautiful women or there isn’t any danger of that toilet considering we have now had problems with that sort of thing before you no no no Ted we quite have a challenge of that possibility all correct you do not have to worry there limb correct at the off due with the aid of limb how much duplex the door Ted i don’t understand it came with the condo oh hi there they are a bunch of homeboys prime god there she is again now not everywhere the place lift power what does that imply don’t know I knew a father Clint energy penis is having a go at him what is the interview like I failed to quite read so much of its head she’s gone around the nation on the second I feel she needs to purchase a house on an island and reside in it and she had their eye on some godforsaken position off the west coast really did it point out what island she had a Ryan Clady Island in position for me I see it as being a dependable haven for individuals who desire to flee their party on the mainland so god I want to create a world free and affection and devout intolerance no no no no no that terrible information correct sincerely we simply have to stand our ground if she’s on the island and bound upon Peter I simply inform her the people of crayons will not stand ahead freed from sexual and religious intolerance no manner Jose correct whether the room will have to be ok now I who had been the upstairs and i did the Attic prime to backside i have oh yes sure and i washed your car additionally I consider to look at green hearse beside the carriage that we are free today Oh mrs.Toys have any risk of preserve your two favorite trees it’s handiest a letter how do you do no I need to get away early to the beautiful ghosts competition for DES Moine going myself but i do not consider i do not want to say to a beautiful lady god doogal there is no end of things you would speak about you could ask them what their father does for a dwelling you probably have a boyfriend clothes and to do with clothes and fragrance essentially closes simplest for the reason that men have been close however we do not put on perfume get additional larger except for the biggie anyway should you ever meet a lady i’m definite you’ll be able to maintain us simply be yourself viable be yourself make them suppose secure and the golden rule constantly need to have that approach it’s simpler ultimately anyway I higher be off it only keep these beautiful ladies waiting be your self is it cool if I you can be their father oh we get me later bald eagles oh we do not get into any mischief oh you know the spanner I do and that’s the drawback not on impersonations of all opposes all those different line made individuals think Peter Gabriel and Queen and the other bands that went on prior within the day and what about Phil Collins flying all of the solution to Boston Sagi workmanship that’s what it is okay for proper now so will you quit this the camera for stead lovely forever you know sorry college actress judgement song whats up lovely Gyarados and any individual at the door mrs.Doing mrs. Doyle good day there good Imelda you are a beautiful lady even though I hear you had a bit of unhealthy luck dicy your dog was once knocked down with the aid of a auto and killed no no that is that is my father it says here that your 22 19 correct and also you were born in could oh that is a beautiful a part of the sector ten doc and it says right here that you’re a black belt in karate now so so what would you do if I got here I let you know what as you seem to my notes and discontinue on any style of expertise that’s simply genuine Sam instructed me your name yet father in theatres well there doodle McGuire very well this can be a great residence I rather love the crude religious imagery yeah y’all right there hold your breath breath your breath is it comfy if you have a breath it can be no longer too tight is it however that you could loosen it if you need take it off bathe go on Brasilia come T normally i will make the tea and you’re taking your brow oh is not that bob geldof yeah yeah you are aware of it so beautiful bit whoa clearly the last university mullion that quite very thing i am not certain whether it is Bobby sufficient cling on there a 2nd excuse me are you a job all correct now going for walks oh seem at them they are very very have a beautiful Park careful they’re headed that myself into ghettos find it irresistible of path they all have it on absolutely and mrs.Doyle is the one who makes the tea and he or she goes here simply make the tea what mrs. Doyle makes turkey anyway I better just inform you the purpose i’m here i am watching for a house around the discipline and that i fairly particularly like this one your sandwich exceeds the desired six entries and wit and that suggests it’s between a different and Mary in the beautiful lass tiebreak nor right here you’re nothing off i will have to let you know a shaggy dog story so right here we go this is my Robin Williams impression ok right here we go that is the funny story now okay secretary Sir the Invisible Man is in reception that bus tell him I can not see him rapidly I ought to say a Mendes lap is nicer i am sorry Mary that implies Amanda is the winner certificate of loveliness and of direction you have been going to dinner the next day to come in craggy Islands top secret rest on the Thai cottage and who will you be inviting to dinner I do convey my mom just have a different for such one more I can be inviting you quality yeah anything anything show up so thanks the winner of our beautiful girls 1996 it’s a letter there you’re up it how does it on full of life competitors come brilliantly good and as is the tradition I get a free dinner the next day to come night high-quality it’s a quitter oh god yeah Wow you particularly not Michael Hutchence unconscious welcome anyway some thing happened while I was once away no cannot suppose of something anyway oh you are one Nev Connolly known as Nev Connolly what did you say to her do not worry Ted it was pleasant I simply took your recommendation about speaking to garrison of his floor she’s upstairs now she’s still here yeah actually I suppose she’s in the toilet oh good day again and that i was once simply telling Ted you have been in the toilet hiya there father Ted Crilley you ought to be leave out Connelly well feel that sexist be aware of to name a young woman omit i am sorry too late for me to change my approaches that you could instruct an old canine new tricks good it is getting kind of late very well good I I won’t preserve you Faisal bye goodbye father yes goodbye k that is the opposite factor I so go away the residence really I simply gave it to her wait a minute he’s gonna turn it right into a studio she mentioned we will have all of the recording time we want well no wait now not you game of the condominium wait honey wait a 2d where are we gonna live leave out Connelly omit Costas has been a horrible misunderstanding here look I have to record a duet over the cellphone with Peter Gabriel so hope you do not mind but Nigel Antonio Michelle yeah well i’m sorry however we’re not going anywhere proper i am no longer staying right here to be insulted by you come on dude we’re desiring i would not say this learn how to supply me a million pound wait a minute what did I say there I understood please supply us again the house what did I say why can we outside stated the place are we going to reside God Almighty Dugan i am going away for a few hours and you might have managed to present away the condo I mean take me sewers again what precisely occurred I was just sticking to your room head and quantity one be your self no no no no be your sensitive whatever individuals say never be yourself with ladies not ever never by no means what then well i attempted to make a extra at ease like you mentioned sure so I asked her to take off her bra we come again to that one mr.There would you supply away the house what concerning the Golden Rose head continuously supply them what they need no no that is the silver rule the golden rule is that anybody who’s ever speaking to you again suppose about what you’re announcing and then do not say it and then just run away someplace correct all right this is a lengthy shot however it’s our most effective hope i’ll go away this paper and pencil here and expectantly within the morning God may have written down what we should do ok that could be a lengthy shot their handiest hope Google come on God ah what is it see God correct back no I failed to bollocks anyway correct i am gonna have to manage this myself sincerely the item is the condo it fairly wasn’t Google to present away that sort of be gracious we might provide it again to us I consider it would be intriguing the variety of labor we’re doing right here we’re an extraordinarily progressive parish i hope it’s now not some type of hideaway for pedophile clergymen that housing disgusted me good depart we’re no longer all like that I mean say if there is 200 million clergymen on the planet and and 5 percent of them are pedophiles that’s nonetheless simplest ten million so what we desired to create right here used to be a global freed from intolerance and hypocrisy particularly stable yes yes there’s one factor I hate it is hypocrisy I imply that sexism farling yes sure god it gets my goat we’re very specific right here in craggy Island we do not like all of that sort of them factor ah kid who is that this lovely Carol now Ted you’re only purported to decide on one you understand comeon beautiful girl I’ve offered 20 million documents plus ha ha ha ha Eddie reject what you think this one are this one you realize i love this one well that is a great one title all proper – no but I like the color of this one oh I just have no idea good laughs they are each excellent i am certain whichever one you opt for it’ll be just beautiful thanks Ted see good style of alternative lifestyles catered for you we’re a refuge for clergymen like a father lean the place else would he give a sermon even as dressed like a Joan Crawford sees leave please don’t take her a apartment please don’t stop our excellent work right here you already know I ought to say father I had no suggestion that monks might be worried in such just right work you most often have that historic-usual view of the drunken or Netra scream like the stereotype is lengthy long gone I enjoy each of it goodbye father Billy would be Manohar Maura historic-style priest he likes to pop round for him you recognize good ancient bitch once in a even as he came from upstairs yeah he’s like hiding across the condo so he can spring a subject matter on me however perhaps he’d be hiding within the rest room and i might go to the bathroom and he abruptly jump out and say ladies clergymen and that i just consider very fast and say i am in desire of them anyway the primary factor I wanted to assert needeth we’re enormous gigantic fanatics of yours right here i’d say we have to have every album you ever made would you love me to signal them for you oh that does not be satisfactory might you sure of course you must stay here so there’s a sign the album so provide the keys again what i’m going to simply go and get the report thank you thank you Cheers record can be like mr.Don don’t care father I completed digging that drainage ditch ordinary dimension now i do know you wanted me to wash these rooms late tonight y’all be aware of don’t know hard to could do them tomorrow when there may be much less risk of me falling off and being killed and then sting fell down the steps just right father may also be feeling nature he has to stay house so mrs. Greenback Kumar the one purpose I gave him the residence again one night time off a week from mrs. Dyle might be I should just pour in shechem little bit yeah we’ll come on let’s revel in ourselves sister no man around we are able to do it fairly is that mate pleasure nonetheless have endurance No you

[batterymonster2021]

"Rock a Hula Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 7 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/rock-a-hula-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-7-dead-parrot/

"Rock a Hula Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 7 | Dead Parrot

I am society from ancient India have been ruled via women fairly my guys weren’t allowed around females with out license and have been put in the car and told off for being sexist anyway you are going to do a track from you to me new album for us now God what an agent she’s under no circumstances completely happy until she’s complaining about something oh you are correct there take I believe this new song is in regards to the Catholic Church oh here she goes it is about how the church in eire ordinarily had plenty of potatoes in the course of the famine they usually hit the pendulum the pill and that i fell to my storage as expertise fare holes closed down a variety of the factories that were making the potatoes and turned them into prison for children God on my cheek without doubt this existed was anything sinister certainly I mean wow the main issue with she appears to be taking the entire Catholic King somewhat severely Ted sure I imply it is just a bit of amusing stop talking and it’s simply whole radical feminism lack to quite get my purpose what this proposal that the Catholic Church is a few sort of bad perspective to women k she’s doing a tune Candace what you smash air hole cramps or you love them what what you’re making of all these items you failed to come to the church is somewhat sexist Oh God no father I’ve invariably known the church very aware of my views I imply I don’t forget one time I was having horrible troubles at house and the church manner aid then i do know a different we wish to roam the church down however I acquired a load of house owners extra more lon thanks for asking father but no no I haven’t any complaints at all yeah Oh No sorry goes mad if i’m a 2nd days with this drink drink you know you will have to rather get a haircut he’s constantly got too some distance down that Bob Geldof position oh that is a nasty avenue it is indeed Google i would like you have got long gone down as there isn’t a coming again as Bob himself or Kenya what did you pay for the cabinets Ted Dada i don’t rather take into account him these is not going to last you look at that she might speak that into comment down well there is plenty of first-rate on to know provide us a name Oh God okay i will be able to suppose it we did it kid ah appear at that picture it is falling apart have a bit cup of tea Liam reasonable ample so am what you want to talk to me about oh sure now you were planning i’m going to d’lovely garyun competition this 12 months we’re mature oh yes I I by no means missed the lovely girls that is my absolute favorite time of year well I was once this lovely lady 1995 doing Aragog Ted we had a stripper of her title Oh God why we discovered she’s been in a movie called stallion Sam I heard us was a bit impolite anyway i’m chairman of the organizing committee this yr and i used to be questioning in case you wanted to judge it shudders what cuddly would now not too hot and there’s the dinner afterwards in there oh sure sure you’ve gotten the dignity of taking the winner out for me and that i consider who pays for it is not me did I hear that somewhere oh you suck alternative we introduced that in a couple of years in the past you’ve the glory of taking her off for me and she had been on roti how much fuck stereo this sort of backtest about 100 kilos I would have obtained your grace and probably after carefully anyway you were pronouncing oh sure now whilst you take the lovely lady out to dinner could you ever persuade her to put on considered one of my Mami’s dresses she could use the publicity right how’s the industry going oh satisfactory she bought one last week what number of is that purpose this yr that might be one you see and sincerely factor we inspiration is be a little bit of an ass getting a priest to evaluate it this yr additionally it eliminates any sexual part to the red or and that i mistaken friend i’m hoping you is not going to be tempted through all those beautiful women or there isn’t any danger of that toilet considering we have now had problems with that sort of thing before you no no no Ted we quite have a challenge of that possibility all correct you do not have to worry there limb correct at the off due with the aid of limb how much duplex the door Ted i don’t understand it came with the condo oh hi there they are a bunch of homeboys prime god there she is again now not everywhere the place lift power what does that imply don’t know I knew a father Clint energy penis is having a go at him what is the interview like I failed to quite read so much of its head she’s gone around the nation on the second I feel she needs to purchase a house on an island and reside in it and she had their eye on some godforsaken position off the west coast really did it point out what island she had a Ryan Clady Island in position for me I see it as being a dependable haven for individuals who desire to flee their party on the mainland so god I want to create a world free and affection and devout intolerance no no no no no that terrible information correct sincerely we simply have to stand our ground if she’s on the island and bound upon Peter I simply inform her the people of crayons will not stand ahead freed from sexual and religious intolerance no manner Jose correct whether the room will have to be ok now I who had been the upstairs and i did the Attic prime to backside i have oh yes sure and i washed your car additionally I consider to look at green hearse beside the carriage that we are free today Oh mrs.Toys have any risk of preserve your two favorite trees it’s handiest a letter how do you do no I need to get away early to the beautiful ghosts competition for DES Moine going myself but i do not consider i do not want to say to a beautiful lady god doogal there is no end of things you would speak about you could ask them what their father does for a dwelling you probably have a boyfriend clothes and to do with clothes and fragrance essentially closes simplest for the reason that men have been close however we do not put on perfume get additional larger except for the biggie anyway should you ever meet a lady i’m definite you’ll be able to maintain us simply be yourself viable be yourself make them suppose secure and the golden rule constantly need to have that approach it’s simpler ultimately anyway I higher be off it only keep these beautiful ladies waiting be your self is it cool if I you can be their father oh we get me later bald eagles oh we do not get into any mischief oh you know the spanner I do and that’s the drawback not on impersonations of all opposes all those different line made individuals think Peter Gabriel and Queen and the other bands that went on prior within the day and what about Phil Collins flying all of the solution to Boston Sagi workmanship that’s what it is okay for proper now so will you quit this the camera for stead lovely forever you know sorry college actress judgement song whats up lovely Gyarados and any individual at the door mrs.Doing mrs. Doyle good day there good Imelda you are a beautiful lady even though I hear you had a bit of unhealthy luck dicy your dog was once knocked down with the aid of a auto and killed no no that is that is my father it says here that your 22 19 correct and also you were born in could oh that is a beautiful a part of the sector ten doc and it says right here that you’re a black belt in karate now so so what would you do if I got here I let you know what as you seem to my notes and discontinue on any style of expertise that’s simply genuine Sam instructed me your name yet father in theatres well there doodle McGuire very well this can be a great residence I rather love the crude religious imagery yeah y’all right there hold your breath breath your breath is it comfy if you have a breath it can be no longer too tight is it however that you could loosen it if you need take it off bathe go on Brasilia come T normally i will make the tea and you’re taking your brow oh is not that bob geldof yeah yeah you are aware of it so beautiful bit whoa clearly the last university mullion that quite very thing i am not certain whether it is Bobby sufficient cling on there a 2nd excuse me are you a job all correct now going for walks oh seem at them they are very very have a beautiful Park careful they’re headed that myself into ghettos find it irresistible of path they all have it on absolutely and mrs.Doyle is the one who makes the tea and he or she goes here simply make the tea what mrs. Doyle makes turkey anyway I better just inform you the purpose i’m here i am watching for a house around the discipline and that i fairly particularly like this one your sandwich exceeds the desired six entries and wit and that suggests it’s between a different and Mary in the beautiful lass tiebreak nor right here you’re nothing off i will have to let you know a shaggy dog story so right here we go this is my Robin Williams impression ok right here we go that is the funny story now okay secretary Sir the Invisible Man is in reception that bus tell him I can not see him rapidly I ought to say a Mendes lap is nicer i am sorry Mary that implies Amanda is the winner certificate of loveliness and of direction you have been going to dinner the next day to come in craggy Islands top secret rest on the Thai cottage and who will you be inviting to dinner I do convey my mom just have a different for such one more I can be inviting you quality yeah anything anything show up so thanks the winner of our beautiful girls 1996 it’s a letter there you’re up it how does it on full of life competitors come brilliantly good and as is the tradition I get a free dinner the next day to come night high-quality it’s a quitter oh god yeah Wow you particularly not Michael Hutchence unconscious welcome anyway some thing happened while I was once away no cannot suppose of something anyway oh you are one Nev Connolly known as Nev Connolly what did you say to her do not worry Ted it was pleasant I simply took your recommendation about speaking to garrison of his floor she’s upstairs now she’s still here yeah actually I suppose she’s in the toilet oh good day again and that i was once simply telling Ted you have been in the toilet hiya there father Ted Crilley you ought to be leave out Connelly well feel that sexist be aware of to name a young woman omit i am sorry too late for me to change my approaches that you could instruct an old canine new tricks good it is getting kind of late very well good I I won’t preserve you Faisal bye goodbye father yes goodbye k that is the opposite factor I so go away the residence really I simply gave it to her wait a minute he’s gonna turn it right into a studio she mentioned we will have all of the recording time we want well no wait now not you game of the condominium wait honey wait a 2d where are we gonna live leave out Connelly omit Costas has been a horrible misunderstanding here look I have to record a duet over the cellphone with Peter Gabriel so hope you do not mind but Nigel Antonio Michelle yeah well i’m sorry however we’re not going anywhere proper i am no longer staying right here to be insulted by you come on dude we’re desiring i would not say this learn how to supply me a million pound wait a minute what did I say there I understood please supply us again the house what did I say why can we outside stated the place are we going to reside God Almighty Dugan i am going away for a few hours and you might have managed to present away the condo I mean take me sewers again what precisely occurred I was just sticking to your room head and quantity one be your self no no no no be your sensitive whatever individuals say never be yourself with ladies not ever never by no means what then well i attempted to make a extra at ease like you mentioned sure so I asked her to take off her bra we come again to that one mr.There would you supply away the house what concerning the Golden Rose head continuously supply them what they need no no that is the silver rule the golden rule is that anybody who’s ever speaking to you again suppose about what you’re announcing and then do not say it and then just run away someplace correct all right this is a lengthy shot however it’s our most effective hope i’ll go away this paper and pencil here and expectantly within the morning God may have written down what we should do ok that could be a lengthy shot their handiest hope Google come on God ah what is it see God correct back no I failed to bollocks anyway correct i am gonna have to manage this myself sincerely the item is the condo it fairly wasn’t Google to present away that sort of be gracious we might provide it again to us I consider it would be intriguing the variety of labor we’re doing right here we’re an extraordinarily progressive parish i hope it’s now not some type of hideaway for pedophile clergymen that housing disgusted me good depart we’re no longer all like that I mean say if there is 200 million clergymen on the planet and and 5 percent of them are pedophiles that’s nonetheless simplest ten million so what we desired to create right here used to be a global freed from intolerance and hypocrisy particularly stable yes yes there’s one factor I hate it is hypocrisy I imply that sexism farling yes sure god it gets my goat we’re very specific right here in craggy Island we do not like all of that sort of them factor ah kid who is that this lovely Carol now Ted you’re only purported to decide on one you understand comeon beautiful girl I’ve offered 20 million documents plus ha ha ha ha Eddie reject what you think this one are this one you realize i love this one well that is a great one title all proper – no but I like the color of this one oh I just have no idea good laughs they are each excellent i am certain whichever one you opt for it’ll be just beautiful thanks Ted see good style of alternative lifestyles catered for you we’re a refuge for clergymen like a father lean the place else would he give a sermon even as dressed like a Joan Crawford sees leave please don’t take her a apartment please don’t stop our excellent work right here you already know I ought to say father I had no suggestion that monks might be worried in such just right work you most often have that historic-usual view of the drunken or Netra scream like the stereotype is lengthy long gone I enjoy each of it goodbye father Billy would be Manohar Maura historic-style priest he likes to pop round for him you recognize good ancient bitch once in a even as he came from upstairs yeah he’s like hiding across the condo so he can spring a subject matter on me however perhaps he’d be hiding within the rest room and i might go to the bathroom and he abruptly jump out and say ladies clergymen and that i just consider very fast and say i am in desire of them anyway the primary factor I wanted to assert needeth we’re enormous gigantic fanatics of yours right here i’d say we have to have every album you ever made would you love me to signal them for you oh that does not be satisfactory might you sure of course you must stay here so there’s a sign the album so provide the keys again what i’m going to simply go and get the report thank you thank you Cheers record can be like mr.Don don’t care father I completed digging that drainage ditch ordinary dimension now i do know you wanted me to wash these rooms late tonight y’all be aware of don’t know hard to could do them tomorrow when there may be much less risk of me falling off and being killed and then sting fell down the steps just right father may also be feeling nature he has to stay house so mrs. Greenback Kumar the one purpose I gave him the residence again one night time off a week from mrs. Dyle might be I should just pour in shechem little bit yeah we’ll come on let’s revel in ourselves sister no man around we are able to do it fairly is that mate pleasure nonetheless have endurance No you