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kinnoth · 3 years ago

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What's your take on Thor Ragnarok? What's your take on Thor's development within the MCU so far?I'm a fan of your posts and tags!

GREAT QUESTIONS THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THANKS FOR BEING A FAN

tldr I """"like"""" Thor's canon development now bc I've done some fucking Olympic grade backfilling and contortion to recontextualize the canon to make it meaningful, but this results in me living in my own pocket universe of an interpretation where I can't really interact with other people bc they don't subscribe to my exact reading of canon

But bro I LOVE Ragnarok. I know that can be a controversial take (I've read the meta of people who think it "slaughtered" Thor and Loki's characterisations), but I just thought it was so much fun! Like on a movie watching experience level and on a lore/meta level, it's FUN. That's not something I can say for 95% of marvel movies, which are nigh universally too dimly lit and too reliant on hateful sarcasm between characters as a substitute for a relationship.

On a meta level, I 1000% subscribe to the idea that the entire movie is a retelling that Thor is preforming for his refugees, so it's a heavily edited, exaggerated, and sillier version of events meant to keep everyone's spirits up. On the point of lore continuity, I really appreciate that thor3 makes CANON and EXPLICIT Odin's campaign of imperialist violence behind his "peaceful" reign over the nine realms, I FUCKIN LOVE IT. I LOVE the context Hela gives to their family, because she makes canon and explicit Odin's disappointments in Thor. I LOVE that Mjolnir was Hela's weapon before it was Thor's because Mjolnir was never meant to be a metric for moral goodness or readiness for rule, but a metric for a colonialist's commitment to imperialist violence on behalf of an empire WHICH IS WHY IT FINDS CAPTAIN AMERICA WORTHY BUT NOT LOKI

(btw if anyone else can draw a line between Hela and Steve Rogers that is a. representative of Odin's priorities and b. includes Thor but excludes Loki, hmu, bc this is the best I got.)

(Mjolnir rejects Thor in thor1 bc Thor was trying to conquer Jotunheim for personal glory and doesn't accept him again until he starts thinking about the good of the empire again by protecting Midgard, an imperial asset. Mjolnir rejects Loki bc Loki is a not an imperialist in service of an empire)

Off topic but I know a lot of people get hung up on Thor leaving Loki paralyzed in the parking garage, potentially to be found by the grandmasters dudes? Like people say that was unaccountably cruel and ooc for Thor. But like, ok, they killed everyone on the way up, and Thor knows his armed gladiator rebellion is on his heels also headed for the parking garage, so I dunno, I never read it as Loki was in any particular danger? But I'm a notorious Thor apologist as well as a Loki apologist so 🤷‍♂️

Things I also love: loki defunding the military to spend that money on art and infrastructure, Loki's live action thorki fanfic that Asgard unaccountably loved, Loki stonewalling Odin's attempt to reconcile bc fuck Odin, Thor's lightning powers, Bruce banner is now a Jewish grandma, Hela have I mentioned Hela love that girlboss, Jeff goldblum love that wiggly man, the Valkyrie love that angry girl, "piss off ghost", inglorious deaths for all the warriors 3, "I'm here" (screaming, crying, shaking), the story about how Loki bit Thor as a snake as well as the confirmation that they are in fact the same age

I have complicated feelings about Thor's canon development tbh. On a very ground floor sort of reaction, I despise what they did to My Boy in infinity war and endgame. I think it's a disgusting character assassination and I don't think the russos understand humour and specifically how to use humour to expand on tragedy like what thor3 did.

On the other hand, if you've read my fic and meta, you'll know that I've accepted the canon development, bc at this point, I've done a LOT of very deliberate and concerted labour to MAKE the canon development we see between thor1 and endgame WORK. But, like, there was a LOT of labour that I, specifically, put into it. It fully relies on me specifically doing a lot of digging and reaching and mining these movies for every possible frame of content to the point where I am pretty sure I've put more effort into making all the development make continuous sense than any of the screenwriters put into the actual development.

And I think I've probably just drank too much of my own Kool aid but like, I am in a position now where I do think my interpretation of Thor's character development is THE most complete and accurate reading of his character development. Key to these points are: a) I think he is an ex-imperialist who is currently and actively trying to deprogram himself from the colonialists' mindset that Odin instilled within him b) he is trying to deprogram himself from Asgard's culture of extreme toxic masculinity wherein he was not taught to have any sort of emotional processing that did not involve physical violence c) Loki is/was/always will be the person he loves best

So like, as I try to show in my thorki canonverse fics (shameless plug for myself), I can make most of the bad decisions made about Thor's character in infinity war and endgame work if I recontextualize all of his canon actions with my own (well supported, well documented) headcanon'd baggage. Of course he goes on a death wish mission to get revenge on Thanos -- he has a literal deathwish bc he was already supposed to die with Loki. Of course he sinks into an unshakeable depression afterwards -- he has no identity now that he has no family bc he was never taught to live by himself or for himself. Of course he leaves new Asgard and abdicates his rule -- he hasn't wanted a hand in the dirty business of Empire ever since Odin's ambition got his mom and brother killed in thor2, and that hasn't changed. I try to make him go through all the canon-implied feelings and anxieties and doubts in front of the reader. My entire goal of this is that people read my shit, then look at canon and think "oohh that context DOES make it better!" I will be gratified if that is the case.

(The only thing I cannot fix is the bit in endgame where Thor walks past Loki's Tupperware cell and the narrative doesn't come to a screeching fucking halt as Thor has so many feelings that he has some sort of paralytic breakdown where he simultaneously wants to commit Time Crime (tm) so he can just stay here forever and also wishes he could just die here, next to loki, like he was always supposed to. Like, that needed to happen to really lynchpin all of my work together into one smooth, problem free reading, but I'm not allowed to have nice things so)

(oh also I didn't like Thor calling frigga "mom". Shouldn't it at least be "mum"? I think "mother" is best tbh, bc I don't really read them as having that sort of relationship, see "toxic masculinity", see also "homosocial socialisation")

(and ok I get that it was a nice moment for Thor to call the hammer back to his hand, and I get that it even still works with my headcanon that mjolnir finds Thor worthy still bc Thor is defending the imperial asset that is Midgard, but like God damnit. The uncritical and unquestioning use of that word "worthy" when he catches the hammer again. Like worthy of what you guys? Do you ever ask yourself that question bc I very much do. I kinda wish they didnt bring it up at all, or if they did, it didn't come back to Thor's hand and he is just like, wistfully, "that's all right, I suspected as much. I'm such a different man now, mjolnir doesn't recognize me. I don't think I'd be alive right now if I had been the same man I was")

Wow that got long, anyway, thanks for chatting with me! Again, always a pleasure to field asks!

#internal thor tag

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tossawary · 4 years ago

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Chapter 19: “Weddings and Funerals” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” random favorite lines with commentary because I’m doing a re-read. Not a full list or full commentary.

When Shang Qinghua told Mobei-Jun that he didn’t need Shen Qingqiu assassinated, it wasn’t because he thought everything would somehow work out if he just sat back and didn’t do anything. It definitely wasn’t because he was planning a so-called “perfect murder” and didn’t want the demon lord messing up his plans. The Problem of Shen Qingqiu has always been a lot more complicated than “just get rid of the guy potentially making my nephew’s life a living hell”. That’s why it’s a real problem!

AN: Shang Qinghua’s thought process: “Can this problem be solved by:

A) Waiting for the problem to go away?

B) Murder?

C) None of the above?

If the answer is C...

Fuck, it’s a real problem.”

Shang Qinghua thinks that might actually be possible, though he’d have to do some research and smack his head until his Author God memories hopped into line. He thinks that the youth-restoration procedure would probably do the job, but he also thinks that Shen Qingqiu would probably rather be dead than be physically sixteen again or something (super fucking understandable) and have to start the cultivation process over from scratch (ah, that would be so annoying and embarrassing).

AN: Given that I actually invented a de-aging potion for this fic (if one that’s difficult to put together), the AU of “Original Shen Qingqiu is physically 16 again” has been rattling around inside my head ever since I wrote these lines. Shen Qingqiu was like, “Wait, let me picture how unbearably overprotective Yue Qingyuan would be... hmm... no, I’ll just stay like this.”

Luo Jiahui seems a little anxious about the empty spaces at the table, but she fills the space as best she can by chattering about assorted restaurant business. At least until she abruptly takes a deep breath and says, “Hua-Ge, I have something to tell you.”

Shang Qinghua freezes in the middle of taking a drink. His unhelpful brain immediately races to guess the worst possible conversational subjects. His sister-in-law has somehow figured out that he’s a transmigrator?! His sister-in-law has decided that her son is not going to the Demon Realm under any circumstances?! His sister-in-law knows Binghe better than he does and has realized that the young protagonist is being abused after all?! Oh, fuck, what is it?

“I’m getting married!” Luo Jiahui announces, breathlessly.

“Oh,” Shang Qinghua says, heart rate going at the speed of sound. “Wait, what?”

AN: This chapter is why I didn’t go into the details of LJH/LQG in the last chapter, immediately post-timeskip. I wanted to blindside everyone with an “Oh, it’s THAT serious?!” moment. The last chapter established that “SQH is handling things”, then this chapter establishes that, as the plot goes on, “SQH is only barely handling things”. Which helps prep the following breakdown with the System World Update in chapters 20-22.

“You didn’t have any time for yourself,” Shang Qinghua agrees, following this conversation of very obvious things that he already knew so far. He didn’t have any time for himself back then either, between organizing a conference and finding a cure on top of the usual day-in-day-out of the sect. “You did a really good job looking after them all by yourself!”

“They don’t always agree with that,” Luo Jiahui says, smiling but self-deprecating.

“Aha, well, they’re young.”

The disagreements of what was best for the children is why Shang Qinghua really had to get Fanli (who didn’t see herself as a child) out of the house by any means necessary. He was at a bit of a loss at how else to help. She was never part of Proud Immortal Demon Way! Not even as a fragment of backstory mentioned in passing! Shang Qinghua struggles to compensate for these extra people who were never characters sometimes.

“Qingge was very understanding,” Luo Jiahui says. “But… well… then Fanli was gone and I had the restaurant keeping me busy, but that was all my own choice… and what good was waiting really doing us? It didn’t have to be everything or nothing. So… we talked… about what we wanted and what- what we were afraid of… and we decided to go forward slowly.”

AN: I said in the Author’s Notes on AO3 that I was going to use Jiage to shame Moshang and Qijiu, and I meant it. TALK TO EACH OTHER!!! Shang Qinghua, you need to talk to Mobei-Jun about what you want! Shang Qinghua, you can’t keep putting things on hold because of the plot!

No offense to either his sister-in-law or his junior martial brother, but aren’t love stories supposed to be a little more… fiery?

“When I was younger, I thought that falling in love was supposed to be all excitement and passion and not being able to live without someone even for a second,” Luo Jiahui admits, a little wistfully. “I thought that it was supposed to be thinking about them all the time, not being able to stay away from each other, and needing to know what they’d been doing every second they were away. It was like becoming a completely different person. I thought that being in love was about one of us getting horribly jealous every time we even talked to someone else, doing things I didn’t really understand and changing myself just to keep him happy, and keeping secrets and sneaking around just to keep things from exploding. Because love is not being able to help yourself like that, right?”

Shang Qinghua can’t really manage to speak right now.

It’s like someone has cut his fucking throat.

Which is fine!

“But that ended really badly for me,” Luo Jiahui says, with a nervous huff at her own understatement. “It was very exciting, but looking back, being in that kind of love was also very frightening sometimes… and it was a little lonely too… being in love with someone I couldn’t really talk to or trust.”

AN: This is more specifically vagueing SVSSS Bingqiu than Moshang, but it’s also shaming Moshang too. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky wrote some extremely messed-up romances and he would have said, “Yes! It’s all super messed-up! That’s kind of the point!” But it also means that the man can’t really conceptualize (at least at first) or articulate the kind of relationship he would actually be happy to have with Mobei-Jun, especially when his relationship with Mobei-Jun had such violent beginnings

The first person he tells himself is, weirdly enough, Qi Qingqi. Liu Qingge apparently already told both Liu Mingyan and Luo Fanli before he left, so Shang Qinghua heads over to see how the girls are handling it. (Also, he wants to pump Liu Mingyan for information on her mother’s opinions on weddings and marriage, in a really pathetic attempt to ready himself for the rumble.) He makes her agree to keep the information to herself before telling and she does, like a bro!

And then he tells and she laughs in his fucking face! Eventually, she realizes that he’s looking for sympathy, he’s not just here to let her enjoy his suffering, as a form of payment after everything he and Liu Qingge have inflicted on her. Then she laughs at him again, even louder.

Sure, he’d laugh too if he was in her shoes! But not to her face! Rude!

AN: Qi Qingqi also pointed while laughing, I think. It’s funny because it’s not her dealing with Liu Family shit this time.

Shang Qinghua expected, this time last year, to be laser-focused on the plot! His attention was not going to stray even a little bit, he promised himself; he was going to be 110% dedicated to making sure that everyone he tripped into caring about made it through the least shitty version of Proud Immortal Demon Way possible. He was going to be a machine of a transmigrator! No distractions! All he wanted was for his family to make it through the quickest, least shitty bare bones of a plot! And he was going to achieve, damn it!

Instead, he finds himself planning his sister-in-law’s wedding and it eats up time he didn’t fucking know he had to give. Immortal Alliance Conference, eat your fucking heart out! Cang Qiong Mountain Sect? Did he work there? Nope, he’s never heard of the place! He’s the Peak Lord of wedding planning now!

AN: This is me telling myself I’m going to get my life 100% together and then getting into a new video game and baking cookies instead. Or ditching my housecleaning plans to hang out with friends at a moment’s notice.

At the wedding itself, Fanli tells her sister’s father-in-law that Binghe is also very into birds and Shang Qinghua’s nephew spends a good chunk of the rest of the celebrations (and his precious time away from Qing Jing Peak) held hostage by his own politeness, listening to his new grandfather earnestly tell him about the various migration habits of demonic birds.

Well! Better him than Shang Qinghua, honestly!

AN: Inspired by that time we went on vacation and one of my brothers got mistaken by one of our travelling companions for a budding serious birdwatcher instead of someone who just thinks they’re neat - and also likes to point at them and intentionally call them by the wrong name.

Also, LQG’s Dad in this fic and SY would probably get along super well.

LQG and his dad in this universe have gone out on month-long camping trips to in which they pretty much don’t talk the entire time. They stalk monsters through the wilderness and have a great time.

Shang Qinghua is too busy keeping an eye on Luo Fanli and being not talked to by Liu Mingyan, who is eighteen-ish years old now he thinks and still deeply embarrassed by the fact that he told her off for her real person fiction. (He doesn’t want to discourage her passion for writing! She’s pretty good for a kid! It’s pretty cute! Everyone needs their escapist hobbies! He just doesn’t want identifying information about his family being spread around freely, even if the characterizations of the couple are… uh… wildly reimagined, and he doesn't want to have to spend his very valuable time keeping a lookout for more illicit fiction.) It’s difficult to read her expression through the ever-present veil, but… yeah, she’s still pissed off at him.

Ugh, teenagers.

Binghe is not allowed to bring several hundred nieces-in-law into Shang Qinghua's life. Just... no. Fuck, no.

He doesn’t even get a date to commiserate about this with.

It’s a very small wedding, family only (Luo Jiahui’s shitty parents don’t count and her older brother was forced to decline the invitation), so that Luo Jiahui and Liu Qingge can keep their privacy. Madam Liu huffed about it - the battles in talking her down were both great and terrible - but her son stood his ground! Sure, people might whine someday about not being invited, but the great thing about Liu Qingge is that they can more or less just say, “Well, we couldn’t stop him from doing whatever he wanted!” And people just have to take that unless they want to claim they could take on the Bai Zhan Peak War God!

AN: Trying to imagine the AU in which SQH brought MBJ as his date to this wedding. SQH would’ve liked to be able to bring MBJ as a date, but alas, they are not dating and the groom would probably try to kill the man.

Shang Qinghua is not expecting, soon after returning from his sister-in-law’s happy and long-awaited wedding, to be solemnly informed that Shen Qingqiu’s health has only really deteriorated these past months. Wow, that’s a huge downer.

Also, he already knew that? He’s been getting Mu Qingfang all the right supplies to treat their shixiong. He didn’t actually abandon his duties to the sect for a family wedding. He knew that Shen Qingqiu had fallen sufficiently ill to need tending on Qian Cao Peak in the past month and he considered it, well, convenient timing in regards to Binghe’s permission to attend his mother’s wedding not being randomly revoked. Cold-hearted, maybe! But he had lots of other things to worry about at the time, like informing Mobei-Jun that his sister-in-law was getting married and so he’d be regrettably absent to attend the wedding.

Then he’s told that Shen Qingqiu is not expected to improve this time.

“Oh, shit, they really think he’s dying,” Shang Qinghua realizes.

This really wasn’t in Proud Immortal Demon Way.

AN: I seriously contemplated cutting this chapter in half because of this mood switch. Like, I went in intending on writing a serious mood switch, but in practice, wow. It felt like a lot more in practice.

“Our sect leader asks about the boy and his progress,” Shen Qingqiu rasps, his voice turning more and more accusing. “He’s so very concerned about the boy. We can’t have such a beloved child crying to his devoted family that he’s been mistreated or neglected, can we? How flattering these assumptions are. It makes a man wonder what exactly people think he’s going to do to the boy.”

Shang Qinghua might have an itemized list somewhere, honestly.

“Ah, I can’t speak for anyone else,” Shang Qinghua says finally. “But please don’t take it personally, Shen-Shixiong. I don’t really trust anyone. Anything can happen behind a locked door, you know?”

Some honest cynicism can go over well with the man.

Shen Qingqiu laughs bitterly now.

AN: It can be fun in media where Character A is like, “Ahhh, I hope no one discovers my secret!” And Character B is like, “So, about this extremely obvious thing that you’re doing...!”

Shen Qingqiu is as honest and open as he is throughout this scene because he honestly thinks that he’s dying. He’s determined to be blithe about it.

Shang Qinghua at least gets to see Mu Qingfang’s face journey as Shen Qingqiu accuses their sect leader of letting him think that he’d left him to die. As Shen Qingqiu yells about being treated like an unwanted ghost, as a potential blackmailer, as an embarrassing disappointment, as a petty troublemaker, as a spoiled child, as a problem to be solved, and as the last blemish on Yue Qingyuan’s reputation - anything but as someone worthy of being trusted with Yue Qingyuan’s problems and of being treated like an equal friend.

Yue Qingyuan tries to explain that he didn’t think Shen Qingqiu wanted to hear his excuses, and Shen Qingqiu shoots back that he would rather fucking die than beg the man he’d thought had forgotten about him to explain when exactly he became not worth rescuing as soon as possible.

Yue Qingyuan tries to explain that he didn’t want Shen Qingqiu’s pity or to force the man to be grateful that he’d tried.

Shen Qingqiu tells the man to go fuck himself. How could it not hurt for someone he loved to hurt him and then just… move past the hurt like the pain wasn’t who they were?

“All the world could revile me… reject me… leave me to die… and I would pay their hatred no heed! What do they truly know of what I am? Of who I am?” Shen Qingqiu demands. “But if Qi-Ge could throw me away… decide that I just wasn’t worth the trouble anymore now that he’d had a taste of a better life… then I really must be wretched beyond all things at the root! If he believed it, then… then it had to be true.”

AN: Because I just wrote a Qijiu confrontation over this exact thing, like, a few days before, I thought that I could get away with writing out this entire confrontation in full. I think it works better if the audience has to imagine some of it. And because SQH is the POV character, it felt right that he not be in the room and not be a full witness to this scene. He doesn’t get to see everything.

#tossawary svsss #pride is not the word #tossawary commentary

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years ago

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sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #sherlock holmes

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dameferre · 4 years ago

Note

i also wanna know abt who am i really 👀

okay. so. ‘who am i really’ is the first zukka thing i ever wrote, started before i had even. finished watching the show lmao

basically i have 25k of it written, probably another 4-5k written in notes and an outline, but i am mature and knowledgeable of my own shortcomings enough to know there’s no way in hell i’ll ever finish it, because that 25k? isn’t even. 20% of the fic if i were to actually write it, like this shit would approach 200k in its final form and i very simply do not have the time to actually. write that lmao

but i’m happy to talk about it! so basically it was the whole ‘oh my god they were roommates’ premise except zuko is sokka’s downstairs neighbour, they fight over music volume, and for the first part of the fic zuko’s a bootlicking son of the city police chief and starting out at the police academy, who calls the cops on sokka for his music one night

aand i just realised how long this is gonna be so under the cut!

so we start from the ‘zuko’s a fucking asshole’ stage and move on from there, and then due to a couple of different mildly traumatic events zuko realises the police system is inherently evil, has his whole redemption arc slash emotional breakdown and quits the force, he gets cut off by ozai and moves in w sokka for cheaper rent bc sokka is a nice person (who’s seen the way zuko has been walking around looking like absolute Death for weeks) and also needs someone to help w the rent

we also start from the point where sokka’s dating suki, and zuko’s still coming to terms with his sexuality, so there’s all that to work through

basically it just goes into the development of zuko and sokka’s friendship, and zuko’s development as a person going from an incredibly sheltered, incredibly privileged life to... the opposite of that lmao and how his friendship with the rest of the gaang grows, and his personal journey, and whatnot, just a nice little mirror for canon except w more swearing and the author talking about how all cops are bastards

it’s all self indulgent nonsense and little bits of shit that popped into my head so i wrote it down, really, but here’s my favourite bit

“So I was thinking.”

“Never a good sign.”

“Ha, ha.” Sokka deadpans. “Seriously though. I want a GNO. Drinking, dancing, questionable choices, might even get some action if I’m on my game.”

“And you think this is something I would enjoy.” Zuko, the introvert who can’t dance, responds.

“You’ll enjoy it because you’re going with your best friends, one of whom is just getting over the emotional hangover of the end of a three-year relationship.” Sokka pouts. “We can even go to a gay club! It’s been ages since I’ve been to one.”

Zuko snorts, and looks back to the TV. “I thought you wanted to get some ‘action’.”

“I mean, I would also be fine with just a fun night out with the gang. But if there are interested parties.” Sokka shrugs.

“Well, forgive me if my idea of a fun night isn’t watching Toph beat the shit out of you for creeping on lesbians at a gay club.”

Sokka makes an exasperated noise. “C’mon, you know me better than that.” He says, throwing a cheeto at the side of Zuko’s face. “I said interested parties. I can be strictly dick-tly for an evening, no sweat.”

Zuko turns, brow raised. “What does that even mean.”

“Y’know. I wouldn’t say no to a girl of the bipan persuasion if she wants to make a move, but if I’m actively pursuing anyone, it’ll just be guys. And, y’know, any non-girl people who seem into it.”

A record scratches in Zuko’s brain. “You… why would you pursue a guy.”

“I dunno, if he’s hot?” Sokka says, looking at him like he’s crazy. “Or has a nice smile? Shiny hair? I dunno, why do you usually pursue guys, Z.”

“But.” Zuko stammers, staring at Sokka. “But I’m attracted to men.”

Sokka blinks at him. “…so am I?”

What. “What.” No seriously, what. “What?!”

“Is this… are you trying to be funny?”

Zuko stares at his roommate, frantically trying to understand what’s going on. “Are you trying to be funny?!”

“No, I’m being bisexual.” Sokka says, slightly defensively. “Because I’m bisexual?”

“Since when?!”

Sokka stares at him, then gestures to wall. “Zuko, that’s been up since I moved in. I know you’ve seen it.”

Zuko turns to stare at the wall, but all he can see is- “The flag?”

“Yeah, Zuko, the fucking flag. Did you think I just thought it was pretty?”

“Is-” Zuko flounders. “Is the flag significant?”

Sokka looks intently, somewhat crazed, at Zuko’s face, like he’s searching for something. Whatever it is, he obviously doesn’t find it. His arm is still held out towards the wall, and he uses it to gesture towards the flag again, more aggressively this time. “It’s the fucking bisexual pride flag, Zuko!”

“I.” Zuko gapes at him, still confused. “I thought the pride flag was a rainbow?”

“Oh my-” Sokka starts. “Are you fucking with me right now. Is this you fucking with me.” He pauses, staring at Zuko. “Jesus fuck, Zuko, there are different flags for different sexualities. That’s the bisexual one.”

Zuko stares at the flag, then back at Sokka, then back at the flag. Then back at Sokka. “Well how was I supposed to know that?!”

“Everybody knows that, Zuko!” Sokka exclaims, then brings his hand up to rub at the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I guess you just. Didn’t know that. Somehow. And that’s fine. Point being, I am bisexual. I am attracted to all genders, I’ve been- I thought- out since I was sixteen. So yeah. I’m bi.”

“But.” Zuko’s brain has been trying to process this information, and now rejects it entirely. “But that. You can’t be.”

Sokka gives him a weird look. “I can’t be?” His face shifts, into something sort of… defensive. Wary, almost. “Do you have a problem with bisexuals?”

“What?” Oh shit. “No, of- of course not! I- I love bisexuals! All of the- um,” Zuko’s mind races, trying to think of a bi person he knows personally, and then frantically widening its search to any bisexual human being in all of recorded history. “Jet! Jet’s bi! Love Jet, he’s, um. Yeah! Bi.”

Sokka’s face isn’t defensive anymore, but it is shocked. And- something else, Zuko can’t quite place. “You love Jet?”

“What?”

“You just said you loved Jet.” Sokka says, sort of quietly. “I just- I guess I didn’t know you guys were at that point.”

Zuko absolutely does not love Jet. Only Jet loves Jet. But Sokka’s looking at him, lit by the artificial glow of the TV, still the most attractive thing Zuko’s ever seen. So Zuko’s self-preservation instinct kicks in. “Uh. Yeah, you know.” He swallows. “It’s still pretty new, but. Yeah.”

“Well hey, that’s.” Sokka gives a small smile. “That’s great.” He places his hands on his thighs, pushing up off the couch. “I’m just gonna text everybody, see if we can get the night planned.”

He walks away, leaving Zuko to his mental breakdown in peace.

Sokka’s bi.

Sokka.

Is bi.

[later that week or some transition i haven’t written lmao]

“Zuko, you know I’m bi, right?” Suki laughs, but the grin slides off her face when Zuko hesitates. “You know that, right.”

Zuko makes a reluctant face. “I know now…?”

“Oh my-“ Suki stares at him, then looks at Sokka who makes a face as if to say ‘see, what did I tell you’. “Ew, Zuko!” She cries. “Ew, you thought- you thought I was straight?!”

“You had a boyfriend,” Zuko defends himself weakly.

Suki looks like she wants to scream. “I’ve never been so offended in my entire life.”

“Now you know how I feel.” Sokka says.

“Me! A straight girl!” She laughs, slightly hysterical. “Me!”

“Okay, I guess I just-” Zuko starts, but Suki holds out two fingers in front of his face, shutting him up.

“No no, that’s enough from you today.” She looks, wide-eyed, at Sokka. “What do I have to do, paint the fucking bi flag on my face?”

Sokka snorts. “He wouldn’t recognise it, anyway.”

Suki turns back to glare at Zuko. “I thought we were friends, Zuko.”

and then in a perfect world this would be followed by a montage of all the times sokka has definitely been openly bisexual in front of ‘still coming to terms with his own sexuality’ zuko who’d just. wrote it off as bro culture

#this au has so many fun things half-written for it lmao #shame most of them will die with me #wow i'm dramatic #if you can tell id just finished my schitt's creek rewatch when i wrote this so can i lmao #dickpuncher #elle writes things #elle answers your questions

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quercus-queer · 4 years ago

Text

A Slice of a Normal Life au

Grace and Simon Edition... this ones long lmao:

They met at a train station as little kids and didn’t see each other again until high school

High school was rough for both of them and was really shitty in general so i’ll just leave that up to you but i’m starting with college

Grace ends up going to Juilliard and Simon feels betrayed because they were supposed to stick together no matter what

Plus Grace lied about it and put off confronting the issue until right before she left but Simon already felt something was up and his abandonment issues and other problems pop off so he distanced himself from her and started being a dick (sorry they’re still codependent and problematic at this point) until Grace goes off on him

She leaves and Simon has a breakdown and ends up in a psych ward but he does finally get some actual help and diagnosis (the high school counselor was trash), he never reaches back out to Grace and skips town afterwards which really impacts Grace and she’s just like... bro... do i need therapy too?

And then she actually seeks out a therapist with the intent to get better and does! She has pretty great time in college and makes actual friends in her dance program and ends up getting a girlfriend at some point... it was a long and pretty healthy relationship but ended on kinda bad terms, but she navigated her first relationship! Yay!

Simon is a dumbass and got with this girl he met while he was institutionalized... it didn’t go well but it was a relationship... it was like a few months long... but yeah... she also tells him to get a grip lol

I also changed my mind Simon doesn’t live with Samantha in high school, he tracks her down after his breakdown since he’s a legal adult and can do whatever he wants and lives with her and Frank afterwards

Simon starts working in a bookstore The Apex (its called that because they live on a mountain and its in the downtown of the city thats at the peak of the mountain) and actually really likes it and Samantha and Frank are good parental figures and he goes to actual therapy

There’s a little reading club for kids at the bookstore which is comprised of the Apex kids that he is in charge of now because the owner has her hands full (her, Simon, and a high school girl are like the only workers there)

Simon also gets a boyfriend he actually manages to keep and its a pretty good relationship and ends on relatively good terms since Simon’s actually getting therapy and has a good life set-up now so yay! He managed an actual relationship!

Samantha and Frank live in a cabin on this mountainous city btw which has a popular resort that Samantha manages and Frank is a chef there... it’s a very popular resort... a very common place for a retreat...

Grace and her dance crew in college take a trip there and she sees Simon and nearly dies, no seriously she was walking and then slipped and hit her head

She ends up in the hospital and her friends (she has actual good friends now) are like Grace what the fuck just happened you’re not that clumsy?

But you know who is? Simon, who is at the same hospital because Lucy from the kids club who is also a clumsy disaster got a fucking pencil in her eye and he had to drive her to the hospital

He sees Grace and doesn’t know whether to laugh cry or say hi so he just stares at her blankly like the dumbass he is and then leaves

Anyway, this kicks off a 200k mall-rats slowburn that goes harder than Tulips and Mikayla’s

Grace doesn’t see him again until the next night when he’s in the lobby and he actually goes up to her and they talk because he had time to process it, they awkwardly talk... mostly sit though, and then Grace’s friends call her over and Simon quickly offers for her to come over another day

Grace doesn’t know what to do and her friends ask her whats up and convince her to go, not alone obviously Jennifer is gonna go with her to make sure she doesn’t get murdered

Its awkward again, there’s small talk between Samantha, Frank, Jennifer and the two idiots and they play card games until Frank decides to finish up dinner and Jen ditches Grace because Frank is the coolest mf on the planet so Grace and Simon are alone again

They just sit there until Simon asks about her dance program and college and then they talk about that until Grace mentions her therapist and Simon’s like??? and Grace is like whoops and then they eat dinner and Grace and Jen leave

Simon goes by the resort more often but they don’t rlly talk until Grace is about to leave and Simon just apologizes for everything and Grace says she’s sorry too and Simon just doesn’t know how to respond to that so he’s like if you ever want to come back here I’ll be here

Grace does not know how to respond to that so she’s just like uhhh okay bye

The dance team comes back the following year and she sees Simon again and he’s like “sorry for fucking you up” and Grace is like “don’t give yourself so much credit I already needed therapy unless you forgot about the fact I had counseling right after you?” “I try to block out everything from before 19 tbh” “fair enough... I suppose there wasn’t much to want to remember huh” “I’m... I remember telling you, you were the best person I ever met and I meant that” Grace doesn’t know how to respond to that and then they don’t talk for the rest of the trip, they just wave at each other and smile in passing

The dance troupe grace joins after college goes on annual trips to the resort so Grace and Simon continue to have three conversations each year plus Jennifer makes sure a visit to Samantha’s and Frank’s happens

the yearning... the pining... WHEW its a lot and Samantha, Frank, and Grace’s entire dance troupe, plus the family that always vacations at the same time are SICK of it

They don’t even become close friends again until their late twenties.

The kids club thinks Grace is amazing and Kai bases their whole look off of her

Mall-rats officially happens in their thirties and they get married in their forties

when I say slowburn i meant it

Idk where to put this:

Samantha lost custody of Simon as a kid because of a hoarding problem she still struggles with but Simon is an adult now and him and Frank help keep her in check

Simon was with Samantha from a couple weeks after entering foster care and most of middle school

Samantha and Frank are actually just roommates

Grace is like “so Samantha and Frank...?” “They’re roommates” “Simon... is that what they told you?” “well yeah, but they’re seriously just roommates” “ummmm...” “Grace they’re both gay” “OH”

Simon works at the bookstore his whole life and he loves it, Grace is a professional dancer, they’re both happy

They look the same as in canon except Simon can shave and Grace gets be the fashion icon she deserves

Simon still cant dress so most of the time he just wears different sweaters he’s been given and alternates between his three pairs of jeans

#infinity train #grace monroe #simon laurent #mall-rats #its the angsty slowburn for the ages baby #literally been burning since they were 10 #whose willing to write this slowburn I would but my writing is... not great #anyway bi legends mall-rats #Samantha the cat #is a lesbian #Frank the bear #is a bear

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a-walk-in-silence · 5 years ago

Text

Coffee In Time

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Word Count: 6.6k

Summary: Some plans are made and executed, some coffee is spilled along the way, and you're stuck with revelations and a heart that is slowly trying to heal itself.

Warnings: Endgame, cursing, mentions of domestic abuse, mentions of experimentation, HYDRA, lewd comments (nothing too bad, still would be considered PG-13), crying

A/N: WELCOME TO SEQUEL X3, aka shit had hit the fan and this isn't even the climax of the story. Enjoy :) ALSO YES IK THE TONY IMAGE IS WARPED. I spent 30 minutes reediting this and every time it was fine UNTIL I saved it. So I gave up and used the least warped of the three.

Previous Part | Masterlist

The Avengers compound had broken down into absolute chaos when you and Tony arrived. There was construction happening everywhere, and anyone who wasn't on construction, like Thor or Steve, was tasked with running material for those who had the brain power to put together this giant platform that helped channel the quantum realm. At least, that was the information you managed to gather while Tony sat down the construction crew. It consisted of you, Bruce, the talking raccoon- Tony said his name was Rachet but you were almost certain that that wasn't it- and Nebula. Every once in awhile, Scott was able to help, but he was even more useless than you.

And that was saying something.

But once everything was tested and done for, everyone was gathered around a table, discussing the information about the stones and what they did, where they were in time. For this to work, teams needed to be developed, and the stones needed to be grabbed in the most efficient way. Everyone only had one back and forth trip to get the stones. It was now or never.

So everyone split up into groups, devising the best plans to get the most stones, and who would go where. What teams were the most efficient? And who would work well with who?

Currently, you were for sure on team Science Bros, aka Tony, Bruce, and Tic Tac. There was also talk about Steve joining the group, but that was up in the air given that groups were still finicky at the moment. Nothing was set in stone, but you had gathered that your group was going to New York in 2012.

You were laying on a table, a discarded coffee cup sitting by your head. Next to you was Steve, and it was silent. When discussion groups had split off, it was just the two of you left remaining, thus forcing you to have to team up. Nat had been running between groups, gathering information that they managed to discuss. But she seemed to conveniently skip over your group, claiming it was a mistake every single time. You supposed it didn't matter since you weren't talking any way. Nothing to discuss. Maybe you were just scared of the fact that your heart was clearly pounding in your chest and you knew he could hear it. Or maybe it was how your heart had melted when he hugged you several days ago, thanking you for coming back to help. Maybe it was everything combining with the fact that your heart still hurt because, deep down, you still loved him.

You shifted slightly, trying to fight the yawn that was clawing its way up. You really needed a drink of coffee, but you were so tired and couldn't even move to drink it. You blinked rapidly before rubbing at your eyes. Maybe you should just talk. At least you wouldn't be so tired.

Yet when you tried to speak, your voice failed you. You just laid there, mouth open, and unable to speak. You sighed before rolling onto your side to look at Steve. He was watching you out of the corner of his eye. This was a familiar setting, even if 5 years later. There would be nights where you would just watch him, and he watched you out of the corner of his eye. On those nights, you would snuggle up into his side, peppering the side of his face and neck with small kisses. A low chuckle would fill the room before he turned to look at you, meeting your lips in a soft kiss before chiding you to go to bed. It didn't matter that he had been awake just as long as you had been at that moment. It was all in good fun, and he would talk to you until you fell asleep. Those were fond memories.

Under different circumstances, you would have done just that. But 5 years made a difference. 5 years of silence made things awkward, even if things felt familiar. There were no playful kisses to be shared right now. The wound was still fresh, even if old. Too many unresolved issues left untouched made it difficult to speak.

But it needed saying. If you were going to have to work with him, you needed to talk this out.

"Why'd you do it?" you finally asked, studying his face. It contorted in pain as he glanced back up at the ceiling. "Don't look away. Why did you ignore me? I… I was scared, Steve. And you just left me. You abandoned me. Why did you do that?"

He sighed before rolling over to look at you. He was now a few inches away, his hot breath fanning across your face. "Listen, why I did it doesn't excuse that I ignored you. I was trying to get everyone together. But every time I would manage to find someone, they were gone before I could make a difference. I didn't want you to see me fail."

Your heart broke just a little bit in your chest. You had always imagined just why he had ignored you. Spite, anger, because he could… You never imagined that it was because he didn't want you to see him fail over and over again. Yeah, it didn't make it okay, but you definitely looked like an ass. Well, both of you did, frankly.

The idea made you laugh, and the look that crossed Steve's face made you laugh harder. He looked so confused and lost, but you couldn't stop laughing to explain why.

"What's so funny?" He asked, playfully poking you in the side. A smile even managed to grace his face as he watched you giggle like a maniac.

"I-I'm sorry," you said, trying to get your breathing under control as the laughter slowly died down. "I know that was a serious response to a very serious question but geez, we look like a bunch of assholes, don't we?"

He looked absolutely flabbergasted by your remark for a moment before he chuckled, shaking his head. "Your take away from this entire thing is that we're assholes?"

You playfully gasped, pretending to "clutch your pearls". "Doth my ears deceive me? Did you just curse in the presence of a lady?" You tsk'd, shaking your head. "Even Peggy would be appalled."

"Not when it's you that's the being cursed at," he teased back. "Her messy child that wasn't even her child. She would probably say that the term fit you quite nicely."

You stuck your tongue out at him before laughing, glancing down at the table. "I'm sorry I didn't let you talk. You're still a dick, of course, but I should have heard you out."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have texted you and let you know why I couldn't visit you." Your eyes flickered back up, meeting his bright blue eyes. "It was a terrible thing to do, especially to someone that I loved."

You raised an eyebrow, never breaking eye contact. "Loved?" You asked, shifting closer to him.

A smile broke out across his face as he also moved closer to you. "Love."

The barest hint of a smile grazed your lips as your eyes momentarily flickered down to his lips before returning to his eyes. He was so close that you could feel his heartbeat. Or maybe it was your own. It didn't matter, really. Because right here, right now, in the secluded room, you could kiss him and no one would know but the two of you. You could work on becoming a team again instead of just another person that had come and gone in his life.

No one would know that you shifted closer, or that your eyes closed as you leaned closer, ready to kiss him. They wouldn't know that there was a sharp intake of breath from Steve, reflecting the panic that the two of you were feeling as your lips got closer and closer to his.

"Hey guys, said I wouldn't forget to stop by and check on you this time!" said the voice of a very cheerful Natasha as she walked into the room. It was very clear from her voice that she had been standing in the room for a long time, just waiting for the perfect moment to speak up. She definitely was having a good laugh over this in her head.

You and Steve jumped away from one another and, in the process, knocked over the cup of coffee that had been resting just behind your head. "Shit!" you said, clambering off of the table to try and save the mess as best as you could with crumpled up paper that was strewn about the room.

"Did I interrupt something?" Nat teased before putting on her serious face. "I think we have the groups figured out, as well as the points in the timeline that all of the groups are going to. Either way, I think it's time for one last meeting before we do this thing, so you guys should head to the meeting room."

With that, she left the room, leaving a sense of hope and… well embarrassment. You glanced over at Steve, knowing you probably looked like a giant tomato. But he did, too. Had you really almost kissed him for the first time in years?

A part of you was scared that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be the same. What if the spark and energy was gone? Had resentment done too much damage?

Well, you certainly weren't going to find out now, you had a time heist to commit.

When you arrived, the meeting started right away. There were three main groups overall. Team Space, Team Asgard, and Team New York. Team Space, being Nat, Clint, Nebula, and Rhodey, would be going to 2014 and tackling the soul and power stones. Team Asgard, otherwise known as Rocket and Thor, would go after the reality stone. And Team New York was you, Tony, Scott, Bruce, and Steve. Since you had to go after three individual stones, being the space, time, and mind stones, you were allotted the biggest team. Each group had its own breakdowns past that, but that wasn't important. All that mattered was that Tony and Scott would get the space stone, Bruce would go after the time stone, and you and Steve were going after the mind stone.

"So it's settled. Rest up and tomorrow morning we'll tackle this thing for realsies." Nat looked at everyone in the room, and you could see the tears brimming in her eyes. "Tomorrow, everyone will be back to life. I just know it."

The group then dispersed, heading to sleep for the night. Your nerves were on edge because you knew Steve would want to talk to you about the almost kiss and you really couldn't do that right now. Your mind wasn't really caught up with the rest of you and right now this time heist was more important than some almost kiss.

So you ducked out of the room, choosing avoidance over confrontation. And yeah, sure, okay, maybe you should handle your problems and not run away, but he ran away 5 years ago. So what if you were an asshole? You were nearly certain it would get brought up on the mission anyway and make everyone feel awkward as hell because they definitely had to listen to it. You were sure it was going to be fine.

So you went to your room, fully prepared to sleep only to find that Steve had definitely somehow managed to beat you there.

"Look, if this is about earlier-" you started, stretching your arms out in front of you as some kind of physical barrier, but Steve cut you off.

"No, no. It's not. I just…" he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at his feet. "Be safe tomorrow, okay? You weren't there for the battle. And I'm sure we're hitting the tail end of it, but still. If you get hurt-"

This time, it was your turn to cut him off, placing a hand over his mouth. "I'll be fine. It's not like I'm fighting some kind of mad Titan or anything. Might have to kick a few people's asses but nothing extreme. There's nothing to worry about." You lowered your hand, giving him the best smile you could muster. "We're going to be okay. You should sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow, and I imagine it's going to feel twice as long as usual." A low chuckle came from Steve as you calmly brushed a hand across his cheek.

Before you could pull your hand back, he grabbed it with his own, holding it tightly. "Can I stay the night? Just to know you're okay?"

"Steve-" you started before looking into his eyes. You could see the pain hidden behind them that he tried desperately to hide. You knew somewhere, deep down, that he was remembering how you looked when you came back from Titan. Sighing, you nodded. "Okay, you can stay, but only because I know you're thinking I'll disappear in the middle of the night. Don't know why when that was always your thing, but whatever." You gave him a playful smile before pushing him onto the bed. "I hope you brought pajamas, otherwise sleep is going to be very uncomfortable for you."

"I've slept on ice before, I'm sure a plush bed won't make much of a difference." You rolled your eyes as you rummaged through your drawers, grabbing your own pjs. "Besides, I'm sure this will be the best sleep I've had in 5 years."

"Close your eyes," you said, changing the topic. He raised an eyebrow at you, looking you over once. "I want to change clothes so close your eyes."

A huge smile broke out across his face as he sat up on the bed. "Y/N, I've seen you-"

"Steve!" You cut him off by throwing a random piece of clothing from your drawers at him. "Go stand with your face in the corner. Now." He rolled his eyes but obliged, moving to the corner with his back facing you. "Now stay. If you turn around to look, even once, I swear that I'll kill you."

"That a threat?" he asked, slightly turning his head to look at you, a teasing smirk settled on his face.

"It's a promise, now turn around!"

He did so, and you quickly changed. Before he could turn around again, you quickly ducked under the covers. "Okay, I guess you can come to bed but only if you turn the lights off."

You were nearly certain he said something stupid or sarcastic under his breath, but you couldn't be sure. He turned off the lights and joined you in bed, making sure to keep as much of a distance from you as possible.

Your heart was racing in your chest, but you definitely had to go to bed. So go to bed you will. In just a moment. Any moment now…

Yep, definitely now...

Okay, now.

... Really?

You rolled over, glancing at Steve. His back was turned to you.

"Iloveyouokaygoodnight," you rushed before turning back around, heart racing even faster in your chest. You heard him laugh and felt the bed shift as an arm wrapped around your waist from behind, tugging you over until your back was pressed against Steve's chest.

"I love you, too," he replied, kissing the top of your head. The bed settled as his head plopped onto the pillow. "Goodnight."

So you fell asleep. It was definitely the best sleep in the past 5 years. Apparently Steve was right.

Sometimes.

The next morning was chaotic. People were running to and fro, getting ready. Some were stuffing their mouths with food as they were handed the new nano suits. The coffee machine was conveniently full, so you poured yourself a big mugfull and downed it within five minutes.

Everyone gathered on the quantum tunnel platform, decked out in the suits. You were thankful that Tony had let you redesign them. The original white and red design was absolutely horrible. These new ones looked much better, and everyone agreed much to Tony's annoyance.

"See you in a minute," Nat said once everyone finished calibrating their GPS systems. There was a unanimous smile shared with everyone before you all were sent barreling through time.

When your feet landed in New York, you glanced around. "Yep, we definitely hit the right time," you mumbled. Everything was completely destroyed. "Right, we all have our missions so… let's go kick some ass! Well not really. Not if we don't have to."

Everyone split up, going their own separate ways. You and Steve snuck into Stark Tower, managing to dodge all the cameras.

A few minutes later, a voice came through. "You know, Cap, that suit really didn't suit your ass," Tony remarked.

"Tony…" Steve warned, glancing around a corner.

"I disagree," you said, a cheeky smile settling on your face. "It definitely made watching him walk away fun."

Steve sighed, lightly banging his head against the wall in annoyance.

"Mr. Cap, sir, I'm with Y/N, that is America's ass!" Scott added, clearly excited to join the conversation.

"Can we focus?" Steve asked, sounding even more annoyed than before.

"Scepter's on the elevator. Your turn, Cap."

You nodded to Steve as he hurried for the elevator, hoping to jump in before they got too far down. Meanwhile, you used the convenient staircase right next to the elevator to go to the rendezvous floor so you could meet up with Steve when he had the scepter.

You waited only for a couple minutes before he strolled out of the elevator, holding the case. When you glanced inside, everyone was still standing. "What?"

"Don't ask." He kept walking, so you sped up to keep up with him. Your escape out was just across the glass walkway when you saw it. Well, rather him.

You ducked into a room, dragging Steve with you. "Y/N, what the hell-?"

You put a hand over his mouth. "Past you is patrolling across the walkway. I'm going to distract him, but you need to use the scepter to knock him out, okay?"

He looked confused but, before he could stop you or ask questions, you were out the door. You tried to keep your footfalls even as you passed by past Steve. You kept walking for a few feet before you heard it.

"Hang on, Agent L/N?" You turned around, seeing him watching you with confusion. "What are you doing here? I thought you were working on ground surveillance. And are you okay? You look different. Did you change your clothes?"

You gave him a smile before closing the distance between the two of you. "Well, okay, I had been working ground control but then I just… well, I had to see if you were okay, you know? I worry about you considering you haven't been out of the ice long. Plus, I can't lose my coffee buddy already."

He still looked really confused but didn't question why you were closing the distance between you. "I think Fury's gonna notice your missing. Y-You should get back soon."

But then you were there, in front of him. He looked nervous to say the least, as if he was struggling with his own feelings. Huh. Maybe he did like you as long as you had liked him.

"Steve, I need to tell you something." Your hand was on his shoulder, keeping him in place and forcing him to keep his eyes on you. "It's important. You know, I… well… I think I like you. A lot. And I've been really struggling with telling you this and when I thought I lost you… well, I had to tell you."

His body stiffened for a moment, clearly taken aback by your blatant confession. But there was that hope in his eyes, you would recognize it anywhere. And so, while he struggled to decide what to do, you decided for him by kissing him. Once again, he became tense before melting into the kiss, hands gripping at your waist to hold you in place. It was weird to kiss past him, you noticed. Of course you knew he could kiss, but he was so clumsy and nervous in those first few months. You had forgotten just how unsure those first few kisses had been.

The moment you split apart, a smile found its way to Steve's face. "Wow, I had no ide-"

And then he was down. And your Steve definitely did not look pleased. You pursed your lips, already coming up with a thousand different excuses when he started talking.

"You kissed him?" he asked, quite loudly as he waved the scepter around. "Did you really have to kiss him?"

"Steve, I-" you started, but he cut you off.

"Y/N!"

"We have to go!" I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the escape route that you had mapped yesterday. He looked ready to argue and yell, but you needed to get out of Stark Tower first. And then you could cover your ass.

Once you were outside, Steve really amped up the theatrics. "Why in the hell did you kiss him, Y/N?"

"He was not a him, it was a past you!" you retorted, looking around to make sure no one was listening. "And why does it matter? It distracted him!"

"Because! You wouldn't even look me in the eye yesterday after we almost kissed!"

And there it was. The fight you knew was coming.

You sighed, ignoring his droning on for awhile about how it just wasn't fair to him that you clearly had a preference for someone he wasn't anymore. It was complete bullshit, but he really just had a lot to say. So you let him talk for about another minute before you silenced up with a quick peck on the lips.

"There, are you happy?" you asked, taking a step away from him. "I didn't kiss past you because I wanted you to be old you again. I kissed him because-"

Steve cut you off my kissing you, hands finding your waist. Maybe it was the fact that you hadn't kissed in five years, but the kiss was absolutely magnetic and filled with more passion than any kiss in the past had. The two of you stumbled backwards until you were sandwiched between Steve and a car. You heard the scepter clatter onto the hood as your hands wound their way into his hair, tugging gently to try and keep him there longer.

You weren't sure how long it lasted, but you were certain it ended when Tony cleared his throat. "Yeah you have an audience so save the makeup sex for afterwards."

Steve was the first one to pull away from the kiss, but his body kept you pinned to the car as he looked over at Tony. You also glanced and noticed that they were missing something very important.

"Where's the Tesseract?" Steve asked, looking between him and Scott.

Before Tony could answer, Scott jumped to his feet. "We screwed up! We screwed up!" He threw his hands in the air. "We had one chance to get this right, one chance! But then past Hulk knocked into Tony, the Tesseract went sliding to Loki, and he took it and ran. He took it and ran!"

"Tic Tac, you're repeating yourself," you said, piping up. Yeah, maybe you should be freaking out, but you saw the wheels turning in Tony's head. And they were definitely turning in your head. There was a plan brewing. And you were on the same page.

"I think I know where we can get more PYM particles," Tony said, quieting Scott who had been rambling after your remark.

"And the Tesseract," you added. Steve looked at you in confusion before taking a step away from you. You walked over to Tony, a smile perched on your face. "It's a shot in the dark but if Aunt Peggy's stories were right-"

"And they usually were," Tony said, interrupting. You both were adjusting your GPS trackers as you talked. "A little military installation in New Jersey."

"You might know the place, Stevie." You watched as the cogwheels in his head turned, but slowly he was getting it. "The idea of Captain America was born there. And we all know some of the people that were there."

"My dad, Uncle Daniel and Aunt Peggy." Tony was surely smiling now as you both settled on the date before looking at Steve.

"My mom was there." You nodded at Tony, the date holding a special meaning to you. It was… well… "Suit up, Rogers and come join us. The date is November 20, 1970."

"Lang, you're going back to the compound," Tony commented. Steve walked over and you fiddled with his GPS, inputting the correct date.

Scott, who watched this entire spectacle, was bursting with confusion. "What's happening? Guys, if this doesn't work then there's no coming back!"

Tony rolled his eyes before nodding. "Thanks, pissant. We've got it from here. Even if I am 20-80 on this succeeding."

"Don't sell yourself short, it's at least 22-78." Tony and Steve laughed at your joke before everyone nodded to one another. Once you suited up in the quantum suits, you pressed the button on the GPS, going further back in time to try and fix this monumental screw up.

When you landed in New Jersey, you used the stealth suits to mimick the outfits of everyone else. You absolutely hated the pencil skirt but you bit your tongue as the three of you moved about the compound.

Before you all walked onto the elevator, Tony turned to the two of you. "You're going to the medical and science wing. Hank should be in his office if you remember where it used to be, Y/N. But I have to get off before you on artifacts. I can get the Tesseract by myself. Plus I can't imagine staring at one of you lovesick puppies."

"Speak for yourself. I had to watch you get married, puppy." The two of you stuck out your tongues at one another before getting into the elevator. Inside was a lady that you could have sworn you had met before. She was one of Aunt Peggy's friends? Maybe? You were sure she had been at dinner parties before. But her name was evading you.

"Where are you going?" She asked, eyeing Steve suspiciously. Tony quickly stepped in front of him, trying to cover his face.

"'M headed to artifacts. Newbie and the lass are going to the medical bay," he answered before turning towards the door. She gave everyone a confused look before shaking her head and pressing buttons on the panel. The elevator lowered a few stories before coming to a stop. Tony walked out, shooting one final remark before the doors closed.

A few stories later, it hit you what her name was. Octavia! Of course!

Once the elevator came to a stop, you turned and smiled at her, waving. "Bye Octavia, have a lovely rest of the morning!"

"You too, Lenora," she said, returning to her magazine.

Your blood went cold as you froze, watching the doors close behind you. It had been years since you last heard your mother's name. You weren't even sure you ever used it when talking about it to Steve. So hearing it used so casually?

It actually stung a little.

"Come on," Steve said, grabbing your arm and pulling you away. He ducked into a little alcove that had a wall phone, hiding you away in the corner. "What's wrong?"

"She called me by my mom's name," you mumbled, looking down at your feet. "I know it's dumb but… I hadn't heard her name, not since Peggy passed away. The last name she called me was Lenora, you know. I guess her muddled mind forgot me and… I dunno… I never met my mom. So being called her name… it hurts."

"Hey, it's okay to be upset." Steve grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "We can talk about this later, but we need to get these PYM particles. So you stay here and be lookout, and I'll go grab them, okay?"

With that, he made a quick call using the phone to Hank's office, drawing him away with a fake emergency. Once Hank was gone, he ducked into the office, leaving you alone in the hallway.

A door on the opposite side of you opened, and out walked a stream of doctors. You studied them with confusion as they all walked away, the final one putting the clipboard in the door slot before leaving. A part of you knew you should stay focused on the task at hand, but you felt drawn to that door for some reason. You couldn't put your finger on it, really. But it was calling to you.

You cautiously went to the door and grabbed the patient file. The information it contained was just horrible. It detailed experiments done to a human embryo to embody it with the energies of the Tesseract and how it lead to the miscarriage of Patient #001's child.

And the worst offense was the name written on the top.

Lenora L/N.

You quickly returned the clipboard to it's slot before glancing into the giant window that sat beside the door. Inside, on a hospital bed, was a crying woman- no, girl. Your mother had only been 16 at the time. She was so young. And they had impregnated her to see if they could… could what? Play God?

Tears were spilling from your eyes by the time Steve left Hank's office. "Y/N what are you doing? We need to-"

"That's my mother," you said, eyes never leaving her crying form. "Aunt Peggy always told me she suffered through miscarriage after miscarriage. I even knew today was the first one. She always said that the Doctors told her it had something to do with a volatile uterus. I was her miracle child after 14 miscarriages. They said she had an abusive boyfriend who became her husband. He was obsessed with having a child and kept forcing her every year to get pregnant. Maybe that was the story the Doctors told her, but it's not true."

"Y/N?"

"They were imbedding the embryos with the power of the Tesseract. They were trying to create a new breed of super soldiers. And they did it under her nose. They used my mother." You tried your best to control your anger, but it was really starting to boil over. "What if I was just one of their creations? What if Peggy and Daniel didn't step up and take me in? I would just be another Winter Soldier." Something changed in that moment. Energy sparked through your body. It was like something broke in your mind, some kind of barrier that had been hiding away a part of you. But now it was here. Now you were here. A doorway suddenly appeared before you, leading directly to your mother's bedside. You didn't pause to ask why, or how. The pieces were connecting somewhere in your brain and that was all that mattered. Without hesitation, you stepped inside, the door closing behind you.

The room was silent, mostly. The only sound came from your mother as she silently sobbed in the hospital bed. You walked over to her, no longer feeling any hesitation. These doctors had taken your mother from you. They wanted to take away your freedom, your life… well no more.

You leaned over the bed, gently brushing the hair from her face as she cried. You were only minorly aware of the fact that your skin was now glowing blue. Maybe you would have been panicked, but you were transfixed. You really did look like an exact copy of your mother when you were 16. It was odd. Almost like looking in a mirror. All of the anger dissipated from your body. You wanted to tell her to run, leave, but something stopped you. Instead, you did something else.

"Shhhh, don't cry," you said, running a soothing hand over her tear-stained cheeks. "It'll be okay soon." Her tears slowly stopped as she took you in, both confused and unsure of just who you were. "You don't know me yet. Well, I don't know if you ever will. But this pain is only momentary. One day you'll hold a little girl in your arms, messy and crying as she faces the world for the first time. You'll love her more than anything in the world. And she'll love you, too."

Slowly, a gentle smile filled her face as she nodded, tears still in her eyes. "Y/N."

You were choked up, nodding. Tears were welling in your eyes too as you took her hand in yours. "Y/N."

You wanted to say more, tell her about your life and just what you went through, but you definitely heard the commotion outside. You let go of your mother's hand and walked to the door, opening it. Outside was someone who you hadn't seen in a long time getting up in Steve's face.

"Uncle Daniel?" you asked, tilting your head to the side. It never occured to you that he didn't know you yet, and wouldn't for another 15 years. So when your mother's name came out of his mouth, you were taken aback.

"Lenora? Why are you out of bed?" he asked, looking around in confusion. "And wearing a military uniform?"

You glanced over at Steve, unsure of how to go about this, when someone else decided to join the conversation.

"Ah, Daniel, I was just looking for you and- Steve?" It felt like a whiplash to see both your Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel standing in front of you. The last time you saw either one of them was when Peggy had been dying. And Daniel? It had to have been over 20 years.

"Okay, listen, I-I need to tell you guys something," you started, sending an apologetic look towards Steve before looking at them again. You moved so you were standing between him and your uncle and aunt. "I know this will sound insane but I am not Lenora. I'm her daughter, from the future. And… yes. This is Steve. Steve Rogers. Captain America. He's also from the future. We came here together because I wanted to see my mom, we just mixed up the time of events a little bit." You showed them the GPS around your hand before continuing. "I know I sound crazy but it's true. In 15 years, Lenora gives birth to a little girl, Y/N. She'll pass away a few days later from complications with the birth. But you'll take in that little girl. You… you took in me. And, God, you were such a hardass but you always took it easy on me. A part of you knew I just couldn't focus or sit still long enough. But you gave me the patience I needed and I learned, Aunt Peggy. I learned because you were the most important person in my eyes. I admired you. And Uncle Daniel, when she went extra hard on me you always were softer. You gave me ice cream when I cried and hugged me until I fell asleep. If I cried, you cried. And I know, Aunt Peggy… I know. My emotions were always from the Sousa that runs in my blood. No amount of training could ever get rid of them. You two gave me the best childhood I could ever ask for. You told me stories of Steve, about how heroic and brave he was. I never thought I would meet him until he was dug up out of the ice. And it's because of you that I'm here."

You didn't realize it until now but you were crying. You quickly blinked, rubbing away the pesky tears. "You two are why I'm here today and I love you both with all of my heart."

When you looked at them both, you knew they believed you. Peggy still looked skeptical, but that was natural for her. But Daniel… he was crying, too. You reached out and squeezed both of their hands, smiling. "I have to go, now. Just know that even when I'm being a stubborn brat or a bit of an ass, I love you both. I'll never say it enough but it's true."

Peggy finally broke, enveloping you into her arms. "If this is just Lenora pulling a prank, I swear you'll be stuck in this compound another 20 years." You both laughed before she pulled away. "Right then. No child of mine has ever learned to slouch. Stand up straight." There were a few tears in her eyes, but you did as she said. "And Steve…" she glanced over at him, a soft smile on her lips. You knew your Aunt Peggy, and you knew she had a lot to say. But the sad smile on her face told you that she wasn't going to. "Do keep her safe. If she truly is as unruly as she said, she'll need someone to catch her when she falls."

"Wouldn't dream of letting her fall without me. Can't upset either of my best girls, now can I?" You saw that small flicker in Steve's eyes, like he was really scared to see Peggy again. Maybe a part of him worried that he would fall in love with her all over again. But then he saw you, and he knew that she could never compare. "I'm glad you had a good life, Peg. I mean it. Daniel's a great guy."

"Compliment appreciated, Cap." Daniel limped over to the large viewing window, taking a look inside before leaning against the glass. "Nora's sleeping inside, by the way," he added in Peggy's direction. "So. Y/N. I do like the name. Always wanted a daughter named that." He smiled brightly at you. "Go kick some ass, kiddo."

"You know it." You and Steve were about to leave before you stopped, turning to look at them. "Don't go so hard on Anthony. It's not his fault his dad is a genius, billionaire, philanthropist. He's gonna be alone one day. He'll need you more than ever."

With that said, you grabbed Steve's hand and bolted. Once on the elevator, he turned to look at you. "You know you just made some kind of alternate timeline, right?"

You laughed, leaning against the wall. Octavia was missing, so you hit the button for the ground floor. "A timeline where Tony can actually rely on Peggy and Daniel and not be miserable? I'll take it any day. Maybe I'll have a sibling who doesn't detest that Peggy was easy on me."

Once top side, the two of you ran into a shell shocked Tony, who was watching a car drive away. You didn't have to question who it was. "Howard?"

He nodded before looking over at your puffy eyes. "Your mom?"

You laughed, rubbing at your eyes again. "Mostly Peggy and Daniel."

Tony shook his head, tsking as he did so. "She always knew how to make you cry as a kid. Clearly much hasn't changed."

The three of you refilled the PYM particles in the GPS before resetting the time to the date you left. The three of you shared a collective nod before pressing the button to head back home.

For the first time in a long while, things seemed to be looking up. Well, minus the fact that you had some kind of powers that you didn’t even know about your entire life.

But hey, that’s totally normal. Right?

Right?

----

Next Part

Taglist: @thedaydreamingwriter @hollandroos @tomhollandd @and-drew-101 @cxptain-capsicle @jinthusiastsss @janieavalos

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chuchiotaku · 4 years ago

Note

Ok, first of all

HOW DARE YOU MAKING ME THINK I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL JANUARY FOR THE NEW CHAPTER!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE HEART ATTACK I HAD THIS MORNING WHEN I SAW THE UPDATE!?!?

Ok, now that, ehm... I'm calmed down, let me gush on your art piece once again.

I loved everything. I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time. How many things not said, how many plans that will never see the light, how many... apologies, never to be make...

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him, but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

But moving on from depressing topics, I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too? Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry...

I really liked Pettigrew's breakdown at the end of the process. And I loved (and hated too, of course) his threats: making 'regret to be born' the same guy that fought and gained the upper hand on Bellatrix? Twice!? Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel better... But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you.

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom. I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

And I know tastes are subjective but... I think the anon was just short sighted, Ron is totally the person that for his loved ones is ready to move mountains and seas (Buckbeak's trial proved it. How he started searching for past trials in his free time is proof how much is ready to invest himself if it means to help his friend) and I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr). Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

First off, anon, happy New Year! 🎉🎉🎉

Ahaha, sorry about the mini-heart attack. I was aiming to post chapters 14 and 15 relatively close together because they’re initially planned to be one chapter but I hit some snags so yeah, chapter 15 got delayed. But at least it’s up now, right? :)

[Warning: Long response ahead. ]

I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time.

That part at the mirror was very relatable, I think. There are things we will always want, but deep down, we know they can never be. In order for Ron to move forward, he had to acknowledge that and let go, something he learned he had to do after that Owlery scene with Harry.

Not that he entirely has, mind you. But it’s a good step forward.

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him

It’s a comforting interpretation, but I feel the need to remind my readers that the Mirror of Erised shows only the deepest desires of its viewer. The scene where the new life versions of Ron’s loved ones take over the older ones, telling Ron that they accept and love him, is Ron’s true deepest desire now that he time travelled. Not that it is what’s real. That’s why Ron broke down, because he knows deep down it’s just a fantasy. Weell, we know that’s not entirely true, but to him it is.

(The Deluminator souvenir from Death and its visions, on the other hand...)

but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

You know what they say: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. :shrugs: Honestly, Ron is such a taken-for-granted character both in the books and in the fandom, it’s so frustrating...

Anyway, getting off the angst train!

I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too?

I wanted to show the tight knit Weasley dynamic JK claims they have but never really showed because we are limited to Harry’s narrative (which is understandable). And as what I have planned for second year summer: safe to say, it will start off like what happened in the books before it veers off canon course. Because Sirius and Remus are there, and Ron knows it. :)

Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry...

But of course! I’d like to think that Ron is one of the, if not THE, characters in his age group that Harry holds such high regard for.

And who’s to say jealous Harry won’t make an appearance? When Ron’s making more friends outside the Gryffindor house, and a certain someone may get close enough to threaten the best friend position? 😉😉😉

Pettigrew doesn’t know who he’s messing with, but Ron too is underestimating the rat a little too much. Good thing that won’t cause him any problems in the future. 😒

But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you.

Now that would make Pettigrew wish he was never born. Haha!

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

Pandora is Luna’s mother’s canon name, but yes I did get the inspiration from Fate, as well as The Red Knight. But she won’t be around until Book 2. Don’t worry, it will come. I hope. :sweatdrop:

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom.

Of course Albus will notice a smart and wise beyond his years eleven year old who became best friends with Harry Potter, managed to take on a troll then get involved in the reveal and arrest of a mass murderer who may have something more in common with him than he originally thought (coughmirroroferisedcough). How Ron will benefit from this attention (if he ever will) or how he’ll deal with this new complication will be part of the story’s fun. And we’re just getting started.

I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

I think many can already tell where I’m planning to go with Albus and Ron’s relationship. The specifics, however, are the ones I can leave you guys guessing. It will be good! Hopefully! 🤞

I saw it as Guest being too fixated at what happened in the books that they didn’t take into account that the second I changed something in the fic, the butterfly effect is bound to occur. In fact, Ron’s very presence in a world that isn’t what he left behind is already creating many ripples. I honestly also saw it as them underestimating Ron a bit. He’s a typical boy during most of the books: lazy with his studies because he is unmotivated. Give him purpose and you’ll get to see him really shine, exactly like what you said about the Buckbeak thing.

It’s canon that Ron is smarter than he appears. I mean, can a normal eleven year old remember the exact names of the laws on dragons, even if their brother is a dragon tamer?

(It’s also another good basis on how much Ron admires Charlie that he can remember that much! Sorry, Solstice Muse turned me into a Charlie/Ron bro fluff fangirl after Ickle Ronniekins)

I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr).

Fate is a very heavy read, combining some of my favorite Ron-centric tropes while taking their fic to a newer, darker spin. Truespartan has done a wonderful with it so far (I haven’t finished it yet,). But as most of you can already tell, my story will be fart different from theirs.

That doesn’t mean there won’t be some dark moments in TBA. And I’m so thrilled that you got the idea behind Pettigrew’s threats. They ARE foreshadowing what is to come starting Year 3. But what exactly? Care to take a guess?

Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Very true. Although to me, it’s not a matter of whether it’s just “right or wrong”, and more of “can Ron deal with the consequences of the changes he made, and whether those consequences are worth the changes?”

Example: from a strictly moral standpoint, revealing Pettigrew and clearing Sirius’ name is the best good and what Ron should do from that thematic perspective. However, these actions will cause some events to change from what he knew, and even cause entirely new ones (i.e. the plot of Year 3). Is it worth the possibility of rendering Ron’s future knowledge almost useless? Who knows?

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

Thank you so much for your kind words! You guys are the reason TBA is still running even after all these years and me taking long breaks. I hope to finish TBA Year 1 within 2021 so please be patient with me. I’ll do my best!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

Oh, trust me, I have big plans for Daphne and Astoria. Might get flak for it in the future, but for this, I’ll have to stick with my guns. Oh dear...

💖 Happy New Year to you too, anon! And thanks for the ask. 💖

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redspiderling · 5 years ago

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Let’s talk music

The importance of music in film is immeasurable, and I’m not going to pretend that it’s possible to make a blog post that can adequately explain the level of nuisance, meaning and character that can be expressed through music and sound, and significantly add to the storytelling process and the viewing experience.

Just watch Lindsey Ellis describe an excellent example of sound design from Mad Max: Fury Road to get a small idea of what can be done (skip to 8:26 for a quick breakdown of a specific scene if you can’t watch the entire thing, although it is pretty interesting!):

youtube

Let’s just say half a movie is in the music and sound, and leave it at that.

Having said that, I have to sadly acknowledge the fact that, more often than not, Hollywood productions treat music like a decorative element, much like most other storytelling tools, which of course in turn produces unmemorable films.

Well, there is the insane story behind Avatar’s soundtrack. You know, the film that cost 237 million dollars and spent probably half of that on an “alien” sounding collection of tracks, created by a gigantic team of musicians and scientists who attempted to write music inspired by the cultures and traditions of nations and tribes all over the world, only to have James Cameron say it sounds “too alien” and basically westernise the multicultural new sounds he himself had ordered.

But I’m getting off track here. In complete contrast to the insane amount of world building (and eventual world wrecking) that Cameron worked on for years in order to write the script for Avatar, the creative minds behind the Infinity Saga, the 2 sets of bros, writers and directors, probably never even existed in the same room together during the pre-production of the films ( seriously, has anyone ever seen the M&Ms and the Russos on screen at the same time?), let alone manage to weave together complex stories involving dozens of characters. I mean at this point I think they made those films by cutting pieces of story here and there and sticking them together with UHU. Kinda like a ransom note, but in film form.

With that in mind, we can safely assume that the musical side of the films (IW and Endgame) was probably an issue that was handed off to an intern at some point. But having already concluded that these films are horrible, why do I care?

I care, because they set up nothing. I care because the MCU has produced 2 dozen films and there isn’t a single character with a recognisable soundtrack. You know how the Empire in Star Wars has a theme? How the Shire in LOTR has a theme? How Hedwig, the owl that represents the magical world in Harry Potter, has a theme?

Off the top of your head, what’s Iron Man’s theme?

There is a soundtrack for Avengers Assemble, but there isn’t any sort of sound, or music, that represents the ideas these characters stand for, let alone the characters themselves. And again, why do I care?

I care because we’re getting a Black Widow movie after Natasha has had appeared in 9 separate films, after we’ve been told that she’s gone forever, and whatever unlucky soul gets the inconceivable task of coming up with music and sound that represents her now, is in deep shit because they have absolutely nothing to work on.

Do you know what’s even worse? There’s added difficulties they need to deal with, just because they’re writing music for a female superhero. Can you think of a female sound in superhero movies?

You’re thinking of Wonder Woman, aren’t you? Well, do you know what Hans Zimmer, the composer for Wonder Woman, said about writing music for her?

One thing that has bugged me forever is that our superhero movies are so masculine and male generated. I wanted Wonder Woman to be… I wanted the music to be full of more female… I wanted a banshee wail, like you’ve never heard before.

And that’s Hans Zimmer talking. By all accounts a musical genius who was working for DC, meaning he only had to deal with sloppiness from the directors and the studio, not with deliberate attempts to sabotage the stories of female heroes because reasons. Btw when I talk about sloppiness I’m referring to the idiots who made him write WW’s theme for Batman vs Superman. A film in which Diana was a mock-up of a character, not about Patty Jenkins and the amazing, even if not entirely successful, attempt of that creative team to make a coherent story in music and sound for Diana in the WW movie.

So now that you have all that information, and after what we know about the change in composers in Black Widow, don’t you, as well, feel cheated? Not just because, clearly, the burden placed on that team to make something worthwhile is insane, but also because we have been served third-rate content for years, even though these people have the resources and the minds to make miracles.

I wouldn’t want to leave you in such a pessimistic note. There are positives to take from this. Women now do have a sound in superhero films (and Hans Zimmer is actually a pretty cool guy who gave the job of making music for Wonder Woman to women). I can hear hints of that electrical string that gave an edge to Wonder Woman’s theme in the music from the Black Widow trailer for example. Things are getting better, it’s just that the task that falls on the shoulders of these people, to salvage a decade’s worth of storytelling, is a heavy task, truly. Although I think, if there’s a person out there who will try their damndest to make it possible for the Black Widow movie to have a musical story to tell, it’s Scarlett.

P.S.: Black Panther is excluded from this mess because that film had an excellent soundtrack (it’s almost like when a composer and a director work together the film has good music), but at this point Black Panther is the exception in so many things in the MCU, it basically just proves the rule.

#Marvel #kinda negative I know but #honestly #I'm hoping for the best but it pains me to constantly see just how many obstacles they have to surpass #in every single step of the way #black widow movie is here

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violetsystems · 4 years ago

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#personal

Because of the Internet, cycles of things don’t really follow the same pattern as the older generation is used to. They think they know obviously. Their favorite game is called human capital and we are the pawns, bishops and knights on the chessboard for them to sacrifice. I’m forced to read a lot of financial opinions as an outsider. For somebody in the aforementioned camp, Mario Gabelli had at least acknowledged that the Fortnite generation has been slowly growing up. Apps like Robinhood have opened the market up to steal your hard earned pennies. And then accounts get hacked, money gets stolen, and the older generation laughs and shakes it’s head. You stupid kids and your lack of motivation. If you didn’t spend all your time living your life instead of making us money. I think he forgets like most boomers do that there’s an entire generation after them that was born and bred on Tron. I didn’t land into the stock market after playing Call of Duty with my bros to be honest. I melted down a twenty year pension from a place of employment that ghosted, derezzed and ignored my entire identity. Other people might have traded online through simulations, harvested their bitcoin at the behest of their electric bill or just have rich parents, I’m not like other people. We all have figured this out after how many years of writing these to an invisible tribunal of amazing people. I often read these other perspectives about the financial industry controlled by pundits, investors, and people who generally talk down to the little person like me. We are what people refer to as “the retail investor.” We’re written about like the plague mostly because nobody can really control our strategies or bully us into submission. Much of the idea of retirement is hinged on investments in America. Social Security is about to run out at some point. My generation will probably be the first to see my government stiff the bill and run away. Corporations and working for them at times can be a whirlwind of interconnected dots. Money and loss on paper becomes a zero sum shell game for the rich. It’s not about the work you do. It’s about the money you spend for them. Donald Trump took a loss for almost two decades which is incidentally how long I was gainfully employed. A typical artist in America can take a hobby loss for up to five years. The same artists with no healthcare to speak of. The fiscal cliff that we all dread is nowhere reflected in the markets. Neither is the actual driving force behind their profit. America is a consumer based economy and America is simultaneously shrinking and bursting at the seams. These are all stitched together by a frail, aging ideology that doesn’t want to let go. Generation X’ers like myself are used to being forgotten about. I travelled the world looking for someone to look at me as more than a number. And now people follow me around because I’m a name on their company registry. But nobody really ever speaks to me directly. I’m a dataset and a demographic that only speaks as a number on paper. Until I do things that the financial elite can’t stand. I make a decision that is based on things they don’t value. I choose to put my money elsewhere. And this is why people hate us. Because you can’t speculate on chaos that you do not control. And America is simply profit off of speculation which is a value amounted to 20.83 trillion dollars in debt. Which doesn’t sound much like it’s in control of anything except printing money.

I grew up on computers. My mother helped me start my first bulletin board system. I had my very first phone line in my bedroom around the time wargames came out. I used to post the number on boards before I had even set up a system like Telegard. I would advertise it like a mysterious military site out of a Gibson book. People would call and the modem would pick up the carrier tone and dump them to a blank monochrome screen. From there my twelve year old self would punk people into thinking I was an AI. Years later I found a twenty year career in Information Technology in the Arts which abandoned me in a wholly disturbing way. My knowledge of computers still stayed and those skills kept me alive in these times. I grew up playing games because I had no friends and suffered horrible bullying. I was an only child who was ridiculously intelligent but often quiet and ignored. Years later it’s not so much different. The bullying is still out there. America rewards the loud and the forthcoming mostly because it is too lazy to seek out the nuances. Convenience has warped America’s attention span beyond the regular flow of time. Computers and connection over the years have rapidly accelerated the dominance of these ideals. Jobs exist all over the world these days. Most of the ones I’ve been interested in have been in China. But due to the circumstances of my situation, I was forced to take a larger sum of income this year than I would have liked. Sounds terrible right? No shortage of people trying to scam me into spending it. Any further income accrued this year becomes taxed horribly. Ironically, the Illinois fair tax law changes the game even further as retirement income was not taxed before the amendment. If passed, any retirement income that was not with held will be owed. Another round of layoffs to liquidate pensions from the bottom line in cities like ours will definitely affect people worse than me down the road. I’ve been stumbling through the process alone since the end of July. A lot of what I had done was to part out and budget money in my own way playing a waiting game that I’ve grown used to in my life. I am at the peak of stagnancy at the moment. Staring out at another blank screen typing into the void every week while people lift bits and pieces for their own convenient narrative of me and my value in human capital. Headhunters no longer stalk the internet. They follow you around in the street with forced intimidation expecting you to read into what they think you deserve to spend the rest of your life doing. All the while trying to wrap you up back into an ecosystem for less pay, shrinking benefits, and an economic ecosystem of investments of both human and monetary. Debtors are paired with debtors. Marriages are arranged for tax purposes and rich oligarchs with political ties find more ways to pay less. And yet they never really understand the power of connection they do not have. They don’t communicate. They project. They expect you to believe that we’re all in this together when they never hear a word you say. The only time they listen is when you take your money away. I’m single. Never been married. An only child. And pretty much an exile on Wall Street with more liquidity and equity suddenly than most people in America. And much like everyone paying more taxes to a government that has basically turned into a formulaic limp dick reality show.

A reality show that treats me like the Babadook at best these days. I can’t even leave my house anymore without somebody following me or watching me. I realize this might just be the hazards of my next pivot into global employment. I thought these long forms of prose were enough of a background check for the FBI at this point. It’s called “transparency and accountability” Scully. I realize ethics aren’t a valuable skill in America. But the utter lack of human emotion for my situation speaks volumes to me. And it should be a wakeup call for most who live and work in this dangerous time. They really don’t give a fuck about us in such a comedic way that they don’t realize our power. Our power is confidence and they find ways to undermine it. Tell you that you aren’t beautiful enough so that you spend more money on things you do not need. Ignore and isolate you until you breakdown and ask for their help. Until you treat yourself in bankruptcy so they can print more money. These times are abusive at best in a way that I have never been prepared for. But those on top don’t really understand how it feels to be under the thumb for years. I do. Corporations aren’t human and neither are most rich people. I realize that life here is literally all about money. Last night was a very good example of that when I read the news about a game I played shutting down. I cried because it was the only thing connecting me to anything social without being overbearing and weird. And I had invested a sizeable amount of my pension in the thought that this might keep the ecosystem alive. The lesser of two evils of investing. Put money where you think it will be used fairly and wisely. Water the garden and watch it grow. The amazon stock is literally over three grand per share. They own everything. They’ve shattered their profits due to the shift from COVID to delivery. Small businesses shutter. Hard artistic work is pissed to the wind. And people like myself are left to wonder why the fuck Jeff Bezos needs any more money from me to treat me like a fucking lab rat. These companies do not give a fuck about you as a person. They want your money. They want to leverage your image, your words, your narrative to push something that doesn’t benefit you at all. There is no excuse for me to be invisible after all these years let alone from what happened to me in July. And yet, there is no real way to get back at it. Other than to completely divest from something that only hurts. Capitalism is funny that way. It desperately wants your participation to stay alive. A two trillion dollar company like Apple cares only about the cut for their investors not the art that drives these bricks that become obsolete in two years. The reason the old generation is contentious to us is that we see the scam in broad daylight. We trolled you behind the scenes. And when we learn the truth, it hurts. We can always hurt back. I divest. I decouple. I wonder what motivates me as a human being and not a bottom line for some rich fuck who got their way scamming people into thinking they’re worth less so they could have more. The internet moves pretty fast. It can all fall apart in a keystroke. And these people will still be making excuses and not staring us point blank in the eye. I’ll still be playing video games and you’ll still be investing in what you think you know about me. Which last time I checked is jack shit other than the fact that it’s safe enough to plant a nuclear physicist under my apartment for a year without me knowing. Shall we play a game? See you at the opening bell Jeff!

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theoceanswaves0 · 5 years ago

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SPOILERS AHOY (ISH)

It’s been like four years since I did a post like this, so here’s me dumping my thoughts on various, random things I’ve been into/thinking about lately.

I’ll be covering Miraculous Ladybug S3, Fire Emblem Three Houses, My Hero Academia, The MCU, Chocolate/Zen: Warrior Within, Pokemon SwSh, Victorious, BtVS/Angel, and Star Wars: RoS so just a warning for potential spoilers. Also, there will be salt and gushing, so proceed with caution.

Victorious

--> Ok, so this show came out when I was already in high school, so I think some of my opinions and takes on the show are going to contrast with the general consensus.

--> But I’m firmly in the pro-Tori Vega camp. Do I agree with her kissing Beck in the pilot? No. But considering that Jade humiliated her in front of her class for a small misunderstanding that could have been easily cleared up if Jade took five seconds to hear Tori out, I find it difficult to feel bad for Jade. Plus, Tori gets called out for this a couple of times in later episodes anyway.

--> As for Cat’s BF, yeah, that was shitty too but A. He was originally Tori’s BF and they only broke up a year prior to the episode and B. Not only does Tori feel immediate remorse for what she does (spraying Cat with cheese and then kissing her bf in front of her), but she apologizes and never does anything like it again for the rest of the show. BTW, these are both season one incidents, so clearly Tori grows out of this.

--> Plus, I can relate to some of Tori’s awkward traits, like being kind of annoying, not having the best verbal comebacks and feeling pretty average.

--> On the other hand, I can’t stand Jade. Her attitude reminds me of a girl I used to be on and off friends with in middle school. She ended up embarrassing me in front of the cast of our fall play in eighth grade and never apologized for it. Plus she would say or do things that, in hindsight, made it clear she didn’t want me around.

--> But I mean, at least that girl didn’t steal a pint of my blood meant to be used in a mutual friend’s operation, so...

--> Although clearly, Rex the Puppet is the worst character on this show. Jade at least does stuff, why do we need to have Rex around...?

--> My ships are Tandre (Tori/Andre) and Catrina (Cat/Trina)! Tori and Andre always look like they have fun performing together or just hanging out, and their friendship is just so precious. I wish Cat and Trina had more scenes together, because I loved their road trip in “Tori the Zombie” and they’re both dysfunctional in their own ways, but trying their best!!

BtVS/Angel

--> Nothing new really. But my Tandre feels reminded me how much I also loved Gunn/Fred and wished that they stayed together. Even their ship name, Funn, is precious and gahhhhhhh breaking them up was a mistake!

My Hero Academia

--> It took me like 3-4 years after watching the first episode, but I finally watched it.

--> I’m surprised by how much I really like Izuku. Like, I normally like the protagonist fine, but Izuku just really stood out to me. He’s socially awkward, but in a pretty understandable way, intelligent and passionate without using any of it to put other people down, and ofc he cares about his friends and saving other people because what shonen protagonist doesn’t? The only thing I don’t like about him is his hero worship of Bakugo, but that’s just my bias.

--> Oh, yeah, I don’t like Bakugo.

--> Relating to Aizawa the most, and realizing that it’s because I’m getting older hukjdshfaskdnfj

--> I don’t have a ship I’m the most invested in, but I like Izuku with both Todoroki and Uraraka, and I also like Uraraka with Tsuyu. Erasermic is also really good.

--> Not a fan of Eraserjoke. I don’t like the way she continues to ask Aizawa out and then plays it off as a joke when he rejects her like. Like, it’s such a high school thing to do, it’s so weird seeing two grown adults do it. Just take the L and move on, Ms. Joke. Not only is it creepy to continue asking someone out when they say no, it’s annoying to pretend that you didn’t really mean it because it makes it difficult to read you in future scenarios.

Fire Emblem Three Houses

--> Love it love it love it.

--> Like Fire Emblem has always been more of my brother’s thing, but with Awakening, Fates and Three Houses introducing easier difficulty options, I’ve found it much easier to get into the series. Like, I’m a pretty casual gamer so I’m not looking for anything too challenging most of the time.

--> Ofc I knew going in I was picking Golden Deer, and I was not disappointed. I love everyone every single student in there. The atmosphere was so chaotic, that I just knew recruiting everyone that I could to make it more so just had to be done.

--> Claude and Hilda are the best lord and “retainer” respectively, don’t @ me.

MCU

--> Uh, I haven’t really kept up with MCU stuff since Endgame (which I didn’t care for tbh). I just wanted to remind everyone that I hate Tony Stark :)

Miraculous Ladybug S3

(me @ this entire season tbh)

--> I don’t really post much about ML on this blog anymore because I ended up making a side blog (for salt mostly tbh). But in case anyone doesn’t keep up with what happens over there, I basically hated this entire season lol.

--> Ok, I loved Silencer. Best episode in the season period, no questions asked. I also really liked Kwamibuster and Startrain. Desperada grew on me over time, while Bakerix was... okay, I guess. And Felix was entertaining, even if I felt that the message that they were trying to get across was forced and meant to shut the fandom up. Oblivio was good until that ending, and once Silencer came along, I quickly learned I had no use for it anyway. It being an amnesia episode did it no favors, either.

--> Just as I feared, the season revolved more around humiliating or putting Marinette in really embarrassing situations for the same of “drama”. The Puppeteer 2 is a really good example of this. And it’s upsetting, because none of this actually does anything for Marinette’s character. She’s not even allowed to breakdown or be upset about anything that goes wrong for her until the end of “Heart Hunter” and even that only lasts, like, ten seconds.

--> Also, I don’t ship the Love Square anymore. Lukanette all the way, baby.

--> Let’s be real, Marinette/Happiness should be the real OTP of the show.

--> The fact that every episode of season 4 is supposed to be as dramatic as Chat Blanc does not leave me hopeful for the future. Like, really, you’re going to use an episode in which an entire timeline’s worth of events gets erased and leaves everyone with no memories of it as the basis of your emotional impact going forward? Um, thank you, next.

Rise of Skywalker

--> Haven’t seen it and after seeing the spoilers, I don’t plan to. I really liked TFA, and was excited to see what they did with the Rey-Poe-Finn dynamic. I was not here for Kylo Ren or Reylo. I guess Finn/Rey is joining Tandre and Funn in my “missed opportunity OTPs” corner. D:

Chocolate/Zen: Warrior Within

--> OMG one of my fave movies of all time. Like I appreciate it more and more with age. It’s basically everything I want in a movie.

--> The scene where Zen discovers that her mom’s hair is falling out and she blames herself for it always gets me. Like I always forget about it, so when I see it again, I can’t help but nearly breakdown myself, because I know exactly what Zen’s thought process is without her even having to say anything. I feel just as overwhelmed as she does in the moment and nearly cry every time watching it.

--> One of the few movies that I wish actually got a sequel. Like I have so many questions that could be answered. How do Zen and Moom adjust to living in Japan? How does Zen’s father try to relate to her and Moom? Do they make any other friends? Will Zen get access to resources that will help her? Will they be further ostracized because of their status as outsiders? As someone who already struggles verbally, how will Zen adapt to living in a country that primarily speaks another language?

Pokemon SwSh

--> Multiplayer is so much fun and wayyyy more accessible than in the past imo. A bunch of people at my martial arts school would do raid battles before classes, so I would always leave to get there early and play with them. 10/10 experience, and it makes me excited to get Animal Crosssing to do the same thing.

--> But on the other hand, I feel like this game has a lot less going for it than SuMo. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it feels like too much is missing. Like I still enjoy it, but it’s more for the gameplay and less for the story. I’m also not nearly as invested in my team like I was last time (I loved my Sun team so much, I basically kept it the same for US, minus one or two changes). I’m trying to change it fits a “Psychedelic Ocean” vibe (Water/Psychic), and then do an “Earth” themed team for my Shield run but I just haven’t picked it back up since beating the game.

--> The characters were alright. I wasn’t as attached to any of the rivals like I was in SuMo. Leon is my bro though.

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i-write-shakespeare-not-disney · 5 years ago

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Director’s Commentary- Side Effects, Luis eavesdrops on Lance

My commentary is in bold.

“Okay I will. Bye, enjoy the Black Friday shopping.” Keith let out a groan which made Lance laugh before he said bye and hung up. Lance hung up and smiled at the sky for a second before he turned to head back up the driveway to the front door. Only to freeze when he saw Luis standing next to the truck, looking like a deer in headlights. Soooooo I had this planned in my head by seeing it through Luis’ pov. In my head it was like, Luis sees Lance slip out of the house and he already thought he was seeing a girl, so he’s like I’m gonna catch this little shit and laugh my ass off. The whole time he’s thinking he’s right then he hears Keith and he freezes. Hence why when Lance turns, he’s just. Frozen. In shock and confusion and also kind of like oh shit i shouldn’t be here.

For a second they just stared at each other. Lance’s entire body felt like ice. Something about the look on Luis’ face told him he hadn’t just come out of the house.

“Luis. Wh-What are you doing? How long have you- how long-? What did you-?” Panic flared in his body, compelling him to get on the defensive. “What the hell did you hear, Luis!”

Luis didn’t answer, his mouth opening and closing like he didn’t want to speak. Suddenly Lance couldn’t breathe. He physically couldn’t hold enough air in his lungs. His brain couldn’t think enough to process the fact that he needed to breathe, and words kept trying to tumble out, robbing him of more breath as the panic rose in him until he was stammering with tears in his eyes. insert panic attack because for Lance silence is scary right now.

“Whoa, hey,” Luis said, gripping his face with one hand. His fingers dug into his cheeks, and Lance still couldn’t stop hyperventilating, couldn’t stop trying to simultaneously think of a way out of this and try to figure out what Luis had heard. So like I’ve mentioned, Luis is most protective of Lance. Seeing him on the verge of a breakdown basically snapped Luis out of it and he just need to get lance to refocus.“Lance!” Everything was blurry and confusing and Lance was certain the ground was moving under him. He was vaguely aware of Luis’ hand gently slapping his cheek several time to get him focus. “Lance! It’s okay, hey, you’re alright, it’s okay, look at me.” Lance finally managed to shut his mouth. “You’re shaking, man.” Luis’ hand moved to grip the back of his neck, steadying him. “I got you. It’s alright, Lance.” Big bro comfort. Simultaneously an “if you need to break, I’ll help you through it” and “It’s alright that you like guys, and I got your back if anyone tries to make you think otherwise.” But also words are kind of hard.

“Y-You’re not supposed to eavesdrop on people, you asshole,” Lance managed to say, his words practically tumbling over each other.

Luis brought him into hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I know, I’m so sorry.” Luis hugged him until he was able to regain some type of slower rhythm to his breaths. “I was just… I didn’t think….” Luis sighed and pulled away, keeping his hands firm on Lance’s shoulders. “Don’t cry, manito. I’m sorry. This should’ve been something you told me when you were ready. We thought you were hiding a girlfriend, and I was just gonna tease you, I didn’t mean to….” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Lance. I won’t say anything, I promise.” Luis feels like shit because like... coming out should be a choice when someone is ready. Exhibit A is Lance freaking the fuck out.

“Oh my God,” Lance breathed out. “Am I still invited to the wedding?” So it’s not the wedding Lance is particularly worried about, but what it stands for. Again though the adrenaline and panic manifest it into something as silly as asking about a wedding. Weddings are for family. Lance is basically asking, do you still consider me your brother?

“What?”

Lance shook his head. “I thought you’d be mad, or…. I don’t know, I was scared you wouldn’t invite me, or… I don’t know, Luis, I was scared-”

“ Ey, calmate. C’mon. Of course you’re invited. I need my best man there.” Lance stared at him with wide eyes. “I was… planning on asking differently, but hey. Obviously shit changes…. Partners in crime, right? Ride or die?” OF COURSE WERE STILL BROTHER SHIT HEAD. And also just to show how close they are, Luis chooses him as his best man.

“Really?”

Luis nodded and gave him a sad smile. “I’m not mad, man. Why would I be mad? A little… surprised. I need to… wrap my head around it, but…. It’sokay, Lance. Come on, don’t cry. You know Mami’s gonna ask questions if you do. Come on, it’s Thanksgiving, we got food we gotta eat, okay?” Lance nodded, still shaky and uncertain. “I won’t say anything. And whenever you’re ready, we’ll talk more about all of this.” Lance nodded again, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Come on.” Luis threw an arm over his shoulder and led him back to the door. This is Luis giving Lance a chance to choose something. To choose when he’s ready to talk about it, when he’s ready to let Luis understand this part of him. and of course the whole “it’s okay, you’re okay” is a constant through all the siblings in response to Lance coming out to reassure him that nothing changes in their relationship, and there is nothing wrong with Lance for it.

#director's commentary

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katrinawritesthings · 7 years ago

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Junghee/Taeyeon; Fucktown Academy (Part 4/4): PG

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“Are you ever going to tell me why you’re in here?” Junghee asks lazily. “It’s chill if you don’t want to.” She shrugs. Taeyeon shrugs back.

“You say that like you’ve ever asked me,” she says.

1-2-3-4

“You got it?”

“I got it.”

“Okay.” Taeyeon leaves Junghee to her wiggling at the edge of the pool roof and walks to her usual spot, sitting down at the back corner and letting her feet dangle over the edge, bag safe behind her. Junghee clambers on eventually with lots of little noises of exertion and then comes to sit next to her. Taeyeon gestures blandly at their view: the backs of the bleachers, the football field, the mountains behind it, the sky above it all. Junghee nods just as blandly.

“Pretty,” she says. She points down to the field where the football team is busy with practise. “What happens if they see us?” she asks. Taeyeon shrugs.

“We hop off right here,” she says, pointing with her thumb to the edge of the roof on her other side. “Creep through the bushes, hop the wall, nut in front of the prep dorms, knock over their shitty garden gnomes, hop over the other wall, and then either hide in the library and pretend we were there the whole time or keep running along the path to the observatory. They usually give up by then.” She shrugs and leans back on her hands. Simple.

“Mmhmm,” Junghee says. “And you’re not in here for resisting authority and parkouring across the school grounds?” she asks.

“No,” Taeyeon says. The sun is just starting to set behind the mountains so she closes her eyes so it doesn’t shine in them. They’re up here because Junghee was pouting about being a space gay and wanting to see the stars, so Taeyeon took her to the best roof of the school for stargazing. They’re a little early for it but that just means that they’ll have time to settle in and get comfortable before the giant burning balls of gas in the sky start showing up. “You were telling me about social justice class?” she asks, slipping her arm around Junghee’s shoulders and her hand into her undercut. Junghee nods, leaning her head against Taeyeon’s comfortably.

“Yeah, so,” she says, “I told him that I didn’t want to sit there and have a “debate” about queer shit because it would just turn into me finding out which students in that class, you know, hated me, and that for the topic he was proposing there was no debate because there’s the side that’s saying ‘we just want to exist and have rights’ and there’s the side that’s saying ‘we’d rather you were dead,’ like, that’s it, there is no grey area, there is no nuance, that’s literally, it, right.

“And I told him that I was getting real tired of his whole neutral preachy bullshit where he’d act like it’s possible to just ‘not pick a side’ like refusing to stand with the oppressed doesn’t automatically make you one of their oppressors. And I told him that as a giant fucking queer, my opinion was vastly more important than his on this topic and that he should, you know, listen to me maybe? As someone that knows what the fuck she’s talking about?

“But he was like, ‘why do you think your opinion is more valid than mine or queerphobe mcfuck student boy over here that just admitted that he’d like to see you locked up for your identity? We’re all equals and deserve equal opportunity to speak,’ and. Oh my fucking gosh, I swear to fuck, I’d been doing so so so good all semester, I was starting junior year off right, I’d been calm and polite and really managing my anger really well, but I fucking. Snapped, my dude.

“Like all I wanted was to sit out for this one discussion but he made it a whole big fucking thing like I was being the ignorant one, and then the whole period was just us two arguing with each other in front of the entire class, which was honestly, pretty rad, but, anyway. I got expelled for cussing out the social justice teacher, and then my parents figured that if I couldn’t even get along with a justice teacher then, like, what the fuck, and so. Now I’m here.”

Taeyeon watches the football team run through drills at one end of the field, back and forth, back and forth. They look almost like ants from up here, which is an incredibly disturbing thought. She hates ants.

She also hates Junghee’s justice teacher, from the sound of him. Like, fuck. What the fuck. She squeezes Junghee closer to her and rubs her thumb slowly over the undercut just behind her ear. She’s found out that Junghee likes to be touched there the most so she’s taken to making that her default position.

“Tae?” Junghee says. Taeyeon watches a bird fly over the football field before she answers.

“What?” she asks. “They’re not gonna see us, don’t worry.” She gestures lazily at the team with her free hand. They never look up here anyway. And even if they did, they’d only really be in trouble if the coach saw them, so. Whatever. “What next?” she prompts.

“Uh--nothing,” Junghee says blankly. “I just--I’m done.” She sounds like she's frowning so Taeyeon turns to confirm and yeah, she’s frowning. Taeyeon blinks back at her, confused.

“Done?” she asks. “Done with what?” She thinks back to what Junghee said last. Justice teacher, big argument, her parents, what the fuck, and so now she’s here.

“With my life st--”

“OH,” Taeyeon says loudly. Oh. Oh oh oh. Fuck. Now she’s here, like, here, at this school, here, on top of the pool, here, with Taeyeon. Oh. “Yeah, sorry,” she mumbles, embarrassed. “I didn’t really. Process that part.” She shrugs. Junghee is smiling now, a little quirk of her lips, and she reaches up to brush Taeyeon’s hair out of her face. Taeyeon leans away from the touch, but shakes her hair out of her eyes and lets Junghee rest her hand on her shoulder. “Oh,” she says again.

“You’re cute,” Junghee smiles. Taeyeon nuzzles her wrist and drops a little kiss there.

“Thanks,” she says. Junghee slips her arm down around Taeyeon’s waist and snuggles more into her.

“Are you ever going to tell me why you’re in here?” she asks lazily. “It’s chill if you don’t want to.” She shrugs. Taeyeon shrugs back.

“You say that like you’ve ever asked me,” she says.

“I have asked you!” Junghee sputters and leans away from Taeyeon to look at her, holding her hands up incredulously as she makes a lot of little breathy noises. “I’ve asked you, like, a billion times.” Taeyeon looks blandly back. Not really.

“You’ve asked me if I was in here for a bunch of different specific reasons,” she says. “You never just asked me why.”

“Oh my gosh,” Junghee mutters. She puts her face in her hands and shakes her head. “Oh my fucking gosh.” The most amused smile fuzzes Taeyeon up on the inside so much that it almost shows on her outside too. She likes Junghee a whole lot. Junghee flops on her shoulder, flops further to sigh deeply into her lap. Then she grips tightly to Taeyeon’s hand as she wiggles around on the roof to get comfortable on her back with her head on Taeyeon’s thigh. She looks up and squishes Taeyeon’s cheeks with a tiny pout. “Okay,” she says. “Why are you in here?” she asks.

Taeyeon lifts her hands to Junghee’s wrists, to her hands, to lace their fingers together and press her lips against Junghee’s knuckles.

“I just go here,” she says. Junghee blinks up at her.

“You just… go here?”

“Yeah.”

“For no reason.”

“Yeah.”

“Like you just. Are enrolled in this school… just because. And not because you were kicked out of anywhere else.”

“Mmhmm.”

“What?”

“This is just some regular ass fancy private school,” Taeyeon says. She lets Junghee’s hands drop and leans back to watch a moth flutter across the darkening sky lazily. “Like, yeah, it has a reputation for taking in all the rulebreaking kids, but it’s not, like. An actual disciplinary school or anything.” She gestures vaguely towards the town. “My parents live in the city with my bro and his wifey but they had a baby and, like, I’m not dealing with that shit, so. I’ve been here since sixth grade.”

“Holy shit,” Junghee whispers. She’s holding her boobers in shock as she stares up at Taeyeon. It’s pretty cute. Taeyeon paps her hands before leaning back to look up. Still too bright for the stars. Oh well. She always likes just staring at the sky anyway. It’s soothing. Especially on nights like these, where it’s just all one big clear gradient of deep blue color that she can pretend surrounds her completely.

She can’t exactly get her hand on Junghee’s undercut with her head in her lap, so she just stims with her spiky nails instead. She went and cut one on each hand the other day so she could have double the tingly feelies. It’s been her best idea all month. Junghee shifts in her lap to nuzzle closer. She takes one of Taeyeon’s wrists, holds her hand in both of hers, nibbles on one of her knuckles. Taeyeon wiggles it free and then gives Junghee the pad of her pinky to nibble instead.

It’s nice, to just sit here quietly with Junghee. She doesn’t think they’ve done this since they met two and a half months ago, besides the few times they’ve made out. She likes Junghee’s voice, but this this silence is nice too, in a change-of-pace kind of way. It’s comfortable to let her mind stray and wander and know that Junghee’s is doing the same and know that they’re doing it together.

“Hey, um. Tae?” Junghee’s soft hand paps her cheek gently. Taeyeon blinks slowly up at the sky. She can’t say that she’s surprised.

“Yeah?” she asks. Junghee cups her jaw and rubs her thumb over her cheek so she laces her fingers with Junghee’s other hand to show that she’s paying attention. Junghee squeezes her hand and takes a shaky little breath.

“Not to, like, admit that I can’t shut up for five minutes or anything,” Junghee says, “but if I’m not doing something, like, constantly, then my depression kinda. Invades my brain and fills my mind with bad shit and doesn’t let me think about anything else and tips me into a spiral and eventual breakdown.” She says all of that very quickly and her hand squeezes Taeyeon’s in a staccato rhythm. Taeyeon looks down at her and runs her finger lightly over her temple, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face. That makes sense.

“Okay,” she says quietly. “What do you wanna talk about?” She can make conversation to keep Junghee’s goblin brain at bay. Junghee shrugs, pouting against her palm.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I didn’t have a plan for after my life story. No one’s ever actually listened to the whole thing before.” Somehow Taeyeon doesn’t disbelieve that.

“Because they lost interest or because you always got expelled again before you finished?” she asks. Junghee nips her finger a little harder than usual.

“Some of both,” she grumbles. Taeyeon feels another smile almost move from her inside to her outside. “What’s your special interest?” Junghee asks her then. That has Taeyeon’s eyebrows lifting into her bangs. Oh. Ooh. She can definitely talk about those.

She reaches behind her to rustle in her bag for the first edition of her weekly comics. She likes to carry it around with her so she can reread it if she ever feels like it while she’s out doing some mild trespassing. Her favorite issue is in there too, as well as the newest one, but Junghee should start at the beginning. Finding it quickly, she rubs her thumb over the cover, flips through all of the pages, and then hands it over.

“Also,” she says as Junghee takes it with a soft noise of interest. “Prehistoric plants, and you know that movie Happy Feet?”

“The queer penguin one, yeah,” Junghee says.

“The queer autistic penguin,” Taeyeon corrects her. Junghee looks up at her, looks at the sky, scrunches her face to think for a moment, and then nods with a shrug.

“Hey, you’re right,” she says thoughtfully. Taeyeon nods. She knows she’s right.

“Also Mothman,” she adds. She fucking. Loves Mothman. Junghee snorts, giggles, hides them badly behind the comic book. Her eyes scrunch up into little crescents above it. Taeyeon puts her hand on Junghee’s forehead and jiggles her gently. She can judge Taeyeon if she wants but Mothman is a lesbian and one day Taeyeon is going to find her and fuck her, and that’s a fact.

Junghee keeps giggling quietly as she lowers the comic book again and opens it to the first page. Taeyeon holds her bicep and taps her fingers on it quickly, excited for Junghee to read.

“Will you tell me when the stars start coming out?” Junghee asks, glancing up at her. Taeyeon nods. With the sun sinking behind the mountains now it won’t be long. Junghee smiles warmly up at her. “You can tell me about Mothman when it’s too dark to read,” she says. “Or if you don’t feel like talking a lot I can point at all of the stars and tell you which ones are you and which ones are me.”

Something soft fuzzes up inside of Taeyeon after Junghee says that. Soft and warm and gentle. It’s not romantic love, but it’s something close. Fondness, she thinks. Affection. Enamoration? She’s not sure if that’s a real word. Or a real emotion. She’ll look it up later. Now, she gently taps the comic book down so she can cup Junghee’s face and rub her thumb over her cheek, then over her lips softly. Junghee automatically sits halfway up and leans close, eyes sliding shut.

Taeyeon hadn’t meant for her think she wanted to kiss, but she presses a soft one to her lips anyway before letting her lie back down.

“I’m glad you got suspended twenty-nine times and expelled eighteen times,” she murmurs. “I’m glad you came to this school.” She’s glad that they’re here on the roof together. She’s glad to have Junghee in her lap. She's glad to have someone that she likes want to spend time with her and compare her to the stars. “I’m glad that I got to meet you.”

Under her thumb, Junghee’s teeth press deep into her bottom lip. Under her palm her cheeks flush a warm red. Taeyeon feels the top of the comic book bump her wrist; lifting her hand, she watches as Junghee lifts it up to cover her whole face.

“Oh my fucking gosh,” Junghee whispers. She lowers the comic book, closes it, places it gently on the roof, and then turns in Taeyeon’s lap. She presses her face into Taeyeon’s stomach and wraps her arms around her waist, squeezing her tight. “I love you too,” she breathes.

Taeyeon pats her head, mildly bemused. That’s not really the message she was going for but Junghee isn’t really wrong, either. It’s just her way of saying the same thing. She paps Junghee, scritches her undercut, runs her fingers through her long ponytail lazily while Junghee squeezes her and mumbles soft gay words into her hoodie. Nothing she says is understandable to Taeyeon, but that’s okay too. She can ask for a repeat monologue later. For now, she leans back on one hand and stares up at the sky. Junghee’s little mumbles keep her occupied until the first star appears.

#jongtae #girlee #jonghyun #taemin #junghee #taeyeon #fluff #pg #fucktwn academy au #its soft nd good #taes feelin real soft nd its that jung cares about her and doesn't Need her to stop her goblin brain but likes to spend time with her anyway #nd its that jung doesn't talk to her with the expectation that she should hold a conversation or provide an opinion or anything #and if tae does wanna talk jung is always down to talk about tae stuff instead bc she likes tae and is interested in what she has to say #and tae desnt feel like jung is Using her as a coping mechanism #bc jung can just sit quietly with her and listen to music and write in her notebook if she wants and that's a good distraction too #so taes just real soft about how shes important to jung but not being used by her #and meanwhile jungs just real fucin gay and ro and blushie always lmao #jung doesnt read taes comic bc its dark but tae tells her about mothman and then jung points at all the stars #and jung reads taes comics later and likes them bc theyre rad and cute and gay #ydw #tae also tells jung about all of the other roommates she had before jung and how she quote unquote Scared Them Away #nd by that she means shes autistic and they were either gross nd ableist or just didnt like her bc she didnt talk nd has flat affect #tae: like i may or may not have exaggerated said qualities bc i like being alone but u kno it was mostly them not my fault #jung: lmao

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hot-mysticc-mess-blog · 7 years ago

Note

rfA and minor trio react to mc being falsely accused of a crime?

Casual disclaimer that I found it not nearly as easy to locate South Korean arrest process and law details as I did American and UK arrest laws (thanks uk.gov) and so, uh, this head canon set is lowkey in a fantasy land where the only thing fantasy about it is the mishmash of arrest laws

My Masterlist

Yoosung

You’re, humiliatingly, with the entire RFA when a police officer arrives, arrest warrant in-hand

Yoosung immediately gets vocal about your innocence

“Causing a scene isn’t going to help her, Yoosung.” Jumin tries to explain. Needless to say, it doesn’t work

Zen has to physically restrain Yoosung just so that he doesn’t get arrested as well

He believed Rika was innocent, and she actually started a cult. No one would ever be able to convince him that you of all people did something bad.

Looking back on his experiences with Rika, he could at least see some of the bad things in his memories, now that he knew what to look for

But you? Not possible.

Is the most obnoxious and insistent that the RFA do something to help

Everyone is in agreement on this, but any effort they make is deemed as not enough by Yoosung

Zen snapped at him on more than one occasion for acting like a brat, but everyone else is, mostly, forgiving because of the circumstances

Showers you in affection constantly once you’re released (thanks to Jumin’s lawyer), and only lets up when your name is cleared

Jumin

He tries to quietly diffuse the situation on site, but it doesn’t work

He is skeptical that you would do a crime at all to begin with, at least not one bad enough to warrant public arrest

So he calls a lawyer immediately, and has Driver Kim take him down to the station

After some evidence gathering, he is able to confirm for sure that you had not committed the crime

You are out of the police station with all charges dropped in less than an hour

He then sues them for all the trouble they caused

Jaehee

The neighborhood your cafe is in is up-and-coming. The crime rate is a little higher than ideal, and there’s a lot of new building construction and re-modelling going on

You get the occasional cop in the cafe on their break, and you guys are more than happy to serve them.

…until one pulls you aside and arrests you

At first she is horrified that you’re being arrested, watching with wide eyes as you plead your innocence

She convinces you to go quietly out the back, but assures you she will have you out as soon as possible, instructing you not to say anything until you have a lawyer present

Turns out you match the description of a masked robber who hit up a nearby jewelry store…and the same watch Jaehee had given you for your birthday was among the items stolen.

She has to take a minute to compose herself. You two were just building your reputation with the cafe. Would this hurt your business?

She calls Jumin for a lawyer recommendation and advice

Jumin takes over the process entirely, insisting that it was merely his duty to keep the RFA name from being tarnished.

Your name is quickly cleared by Seven and C&R’s resources

When they let you out of the holding cell, Jaehee yanks you into a suffocating hug

The two of you run a couple of drink specials at the cafe, just to be on the safe side with your business

She gets skittish whenever a cop comes into the cafe now, and insists that she serve them instead

Saeyoung

You were late coming home from the store

…so he hacks into the security camera footage to try and check up on you

Most of their store isn’t actually videoed, there are about 10 cameras total in the entire supermarket

He nearly misses you, assuming the camera named room_1 wouldn’t have you in it

But there you are, wide eyed with horror and trying to explain yourself to the manager

They thought you stole something?

He runs back through the footage as quickly as he could, following you back from the entrance to the store

Luckily, the moment some dumb kid got scared and slipped a stolen set of headphones into your purse is on video.

He sends an email to the manager with the video, and then gives you call. You answer with a shaky voice, but he persists despite the pang in his heart.

“Defender of Justice 707 is here MC! He wants you to tell the manager to check his email!”

It took some convincing…and the manager was suspicious about how you had gotten access to the security camera footage

Saeyoung made you put the manager on the phone with him. Whatever he said had you out the door with $10 worth of store credit less than five minutes later

Zen

You get stopped by police just as you are about to enter the backstage area after one of Zen’s shows

Reporters and cameras are everywhere. What a scoop!

The door had just opened for you, and the extra commotion draws Zen to look out. Your eyes are wide with panic as two uniformed officers escort you away

He parkours over the velvet ropes to get to you, just in time to watch an officer guide you into the back of the police car, hands cuffed behind your back

He wanted to make a big scene…but everything happened so fast, and among a sea of fans and reporters it would have been career suicide.

He watches all the way until you’re out of the sight, when the reporters start getting particularly rowdy. Security guards usher him inside quickly, and he is left pacing frantically in the green room

He went through a bad boy phase and had a couple of close calls, but you? You were perfect, you would never commit a crime so serious you would get arrested

Should he call Jumin? No way in hell is he calling Jumin.

He calls Seven and does an absolutely terrible job of explaining the situation to him. Luckily, Seven is a genius.

“I’ll take care of it,” Seven assures, sounding more sincere than Zen had ever thought possible.

“Great I’m heading down to the station–”

“You need to stay right there! Jaehee and I would never forgive you if the paparazzi got photos of you outside a police station.”

Zen growls in response, hanging up the phone before falling back onto a nearby couch, torn between wanting to protect you no matter the cost and the reality that Seven was right, he couldn’t be seen down there. It would make everything worse for both of you.

His phone rings with a call from Yoosung not two minutes later. Zen reluctantly takes the call. Yoosung starts talking before Zen can say anything, panting and out of breath as though he’s been running

“I’m on my way to the auditorium! Seven let us know what happened! We’re gonna get MC out of there, so don’t worry.”

Yoosung stays with Zen at the studio, keeping him from rushing off to the police station and ruining his career, just in case.

They do face masks while they wait and neither of them will ever admit to it for completely different reasons

You are released from police custody in the early hours of the morning and walk out to a sedan with heavily tinted windows

The driver rolls down the nearest window so you can see him, letting you know he was sent from C&R to bring you back to your home

As you hesitantly open the backdoor and slide in, a hand reaches out and pulls you close. You recognize the scent of Zen’s cologne.

“I’m so glad you’re safe, Jagiya. We’re going to get this taken care of. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there sooner.”

Saeran

He handles the actual phone call you give him from the holding cell pretty well. He is clearly a little nervous and stressed but he says he’ll figure out a way to help you.

Then he hangs up the phone, and the panicking thoughts at the back of his mind become his only thoughts

Was this Rika’s doing? Was Mint Eye coming back to haunt you after it had already put you through so much?

Or did the police know about your brief and unintentional involvement? Were they out to get you? How dare they arrest you in the first place

Or maybe you had done it? Maybe you lived a secret life he never knew about, the way Rika had, the way his mother, and Saeyoung, and everyone else in his life had

He was sad and he was angry and he was…afraid. So many feelings. All at one time. He couldn’t take it. He didn’t know what to do.

When things used to get like this he would check out. Someone else would take his place. Now he was here feeling everything all at one time again and he would give anything to ‘dissociate’ as his therapist had called it.

He slowly makes his way to the computer room. He’s supposed to knock, but he just opens the door, causing Seven to whirl around with wide eyes, expecting the worst.

“M-MC is in jail.” Damn it, he hadn’t meant to stutter

“She what!?” Seven looks his twin up and down, trying to find some hint of a joke. Instead of humor, he finds his brother on the edge of a breakdown, fingers trembling and unable to make eye contact.

“MC. is. in. jail.” Saeran repeats, voice sharp and harsh, lashing out against the rising anxiety in his chest. “We need to get her out.”

He has no idea how to do that though. After a minute of silence, Saeyoung figures that out too and motions his brother over.

“Grab a chair little bro! Defender of Justice 7-0-7 will fix this in no time!”

Saeyoung shot a quick text to Jumin, jubilantly narrating all of his actions to try and help Saeran calm down. If he was a good enough actor, maybe Saeran would be convinced this was just him being obnoxious rather than an attempt to soothe. You were the only one who got away with outward coddling without one of Saeran’s tongue lashings.

It was not no time, but Saeyoung was able to get the police data from your arrest warrant and track down evidence to prove you had not done it.

Jumin’s lawyer takes care of the rest, and Saeyoung takes Saeran to get you. You have to hug him first, trembling hands grasping at his sweater, but it takes all of a second before he is returning the hug, squeezing you so tight it feels like you can’t breathe

You let him keep going, because you can feel his entire body shaking.

V/Jihyun

When the police come to the door for you, he makes sure to ask for the charges on the arrest warrant

Does his best to keep the situation quiet. The entire apartment complex seeing you get arrested could end up being far worse than actually being arrested.

He calls his own driver the moment you’re gone to take him to the station. Then he calls Jumin on the way.

Jumin has no problem taking care of the legal side of things to make sure you’re able to get out as soon as possible, as well as updating the chatroom on what happened.

Seven is the next call, to make sure none of the remnants of V’s involvement in Mint Eye would be able to come back to bite you.

He waits in the precinct well-into the early hours of the next morning for your release. He goes into the chatroom all of once, interrupting Yoosung in the middle of complaining about V not coming to tell the RFA himself.

I see you’ve all heard about MC by now

Please, do your best for them

I know they appreciate all the support you are giving them

When you get let out, he puts one hand on the small of your back and leads you immediately out of the precinct

He spends the next several days doting over you, and tries to keep you from any of the legal business you do not absolutely have to be involved in.

Vanderwood

Technically, you did commit a crime. It was a minor traffic violation. Except when you got to the police station, the questions you were asked seemed entirely unrelated.

He answers the phone call after you’ve been arrested, thinking it’s a contact or someone from the agency

“Hello.” Sometimes he could be curt or cold with you, but it was nothing compared to the complete and total apathy, bordering on displeasure that he answered the phone with now.

“V-Vanderwood?” Your voice cracks and tears prick at the corners of your eyes

“MC?” His tone warms up immediately.

Genuinely relieved when he finds out you’ve just been arrested. Given his old life, and his old connections, he’s terrified you’ll end up in the hands of people he used to work for.

He’s too deep in the agency to help you via legal means, but the cops are a lot less dangerous than some of the people he knows

He comes to get you as soon as he can. In the car on the way home, his first attempt at conversation is unusually professional-sounding.

Oh no? Is he angry? Why would he be angry?

“Do you have someone to cover up the evidence? I have a contact who can help if you need it.”

“I…What?”

“…You really didn’t do it?” His eyes flick from the road to you for a moment, wide with surprise.

“When would I have possibly started up a criminal enterprise you didn’t know about!?”

He gives a non-committal grunt

The entire incident seems to disappear entirely once you pay your traffic ticket, though Vanderwood will never tell you if he did something in order to make that happen

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