#scarfninja rants

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SPOILERS AHOY (ISH)

It’s been like four years since I did a post like this, so here’s me dumping my thoughts on various, random things I’ve been into/thinking about lately.

I’ll be covering Miraculous Ladybug S3, Fire Emblem Three Houses, My Hero Academia, The MCU, Chocolate/Zen: Warrior Within, Pokemon SwSh, Victorious, BtVS/Angel, and Star Wars: RoS so just a warning for potential spoilers. Also, there will be salt and gushing, so proceed with caution.

Victorious

--> Ok, so this show came out when I was already in high school, so I think some of my opinions and takes on the show are going to contrast with the general consensus.

--> But I’m firmly in the pro-Tori Vega camp. Do I agree with her kissing Beck in the pilot? No. But considering that Jade humiliated her in front of her class for a small misunderstanding that could have been easily cleared up if Jade took five seconds to hear Tori out, I find it difficult to feel bad for Jade. Plus, Tori gets called out for this a couple of times in later episodes anyway. 

--> As for Cat’s BF, yeah, that was shitty too but A. He was originally Tori’s BF and they only broke up a year prior to the episode and B. Not only does Tori feel immediate remorse for what she does (spraying Cat with cheese and then kissing her bf in front of her), but she apologizes and never does anything like it again for the rest of the show. BTW, these are both season one incidents, so clearly Tori grows out of this.

--> Plus, I can relate to some of Tori’s awkward traits, like being kind of annoying, not having the best verbal comebacks and feeling pretty average.

--> On the other hand, I can’t stand Jade. Her attitude reminds me of a girl I used to be on and off friends with in middle school. She ended up embarrassing me in front of the cast of our fall play in eighth grade and never apologized for it. Plus she would say or do things that, in hindsight, made it clear she didn’t want me around.

--> But I mean, at least that girl didn’t steal a pint of my blood meant to be used in a mutual friend’s operation, so...

--> Although clearly, Rex the Puppet is the worst character on this show. Jade at least does stuff, why do we need to have Rex around...?

--> My ships are Tandre (Tori/Andre) and Catrina (Cat/Trina)! Tori and Andre always look like they have fun performing together or just hanging out, and their friendship is just so precious. I wish Cat and Trina had more scenes together, because I loved their road trip in “Tori the Zombie” and they’re both dysfunctional in their own ways, but trying their best!! 

BtVS/Angel

--> Nothing new really. But my Tandre feels reminded me how much I also loved Gunn/Fred and wished that they stayed together. Even their ship name, Funn, is precious and gahhhhhhh breaking them up was a mistake!

My Hero Academia

--> It took me like 3-4 years after watching the first episode, but I finally watched it.

--> I’m surprised by how much I really like Izuku. Like, I normally like the protagonist fine, but Izuku just really stood out to me. He’s socially awkward, but in a pretty understandable way, intelligent and passionate without using any of it to put other people down, and ofc he cares about his friends and saving other people because what shonen protagonist doesn’t? The only thing I don’t like about him is his hero worship of Bakugo, but that’s just my bias.

--> Oh, yeah, I don’t like Bakugo. 

--> Relating to Aizawa the most, and realizing that it’s because I’m getting older hukjdshfaskdnfj 

--> I don’t have a ship I’m the most invested in, but I like Izuku with both Todoroki and Uraraka, and I also like Uraraka with Tsuyu. Erasermic is also really good.

--> Not a fan of Eraserjoke. I don’t like the way she continues to ask Aizawa out and then plays it off as a joke when he rejects her like. Like, it’s such a high school thing to do, it’s so weird seeing two grown adults do it. Just take the L and move on, Ms. Joke. Not only is it creepy to continue asking someone out when they say no, it’s annoying to pretend that you didn’t really mean it because it makes it difficult to read you in future scenarios. 

Fire Emblem Three Houses

--> Love it love it love it.

--> Like Fire Emblem has always been more of my brother’s thing, but with Awakening, Fates and Three Houses introducing easier difficulty options, I’ve found it much easier to get into the series. Like, I’m a pretty casual gamer so I’m not looking for anything too challenging most of the time.

--> Ofc I knew going in I was picking Golden Deer, and I was not disappointed. I love everyone every single student in there. The atmosphere was so chaotic, that I just knew recruiting everyone that I could to make it more so just had to be done.

--> Claude and Hilda are the best lord and “retainer” respectively, don’t @ me.

MCU

--> Uh, I haven’t really kept up with MCU stuff since Endgame (which I didn’t care for tbh). I just wanted to remind everyone that I hate Tony Stark :)

Miraculous Ladybug S3

(me @ this entire season tbh)

--> I don’t really post much about ML on this blog anymore because I ended up making a side blog (for salt mostly tbh). But in case anyone doesn’t keep up with what happens over there, I basically hated this entire season lol.

--> Ok, I loved Silencer. Best episode in the season period, no questions asked. I also really liked Kwamibuster and Startrain. Desperada grew on me over time, while Bakerix was... okay, I guess. And Felix was entertaining, even if I felt that the message that they were trying to get across was forced and meant to shut the fandom up. Oblivio was good until that ending, and once Silencer came along, I quickly learned I had no use for it anyway. It being an amnesia episode did it no favors, either.

--> Just as I feared, the season revolved more around humiliating or putting Marinette in really embarrassing situations for the same of “drama”. The Puppeteer 2 is a really good example of this. And it’s upsetting, because none of this actually does anything for Marinette’s character. She’s not even allowed to breakdown or be upset about anything that goes wrong for her until the end of “Heart Hunter” and even that only lasts, like, ten seconds.

--> Also, I don’t ship the Love Square anymore. Lukanette all the way, baby.

--> Let’s be real, Marinette/Happiness should be the real OTP of the show.

--> The fact that every episode of season 4 is supposed to be as dramatic as Chat Blanc does not leave me hopeful for the future. Like, really, you’re going to use an episode in which an entire timeline’s worth of events gets erased and leaves everyone with no memories of it as the basis of your emotional impact going forward? Um, thank you, next.

Rise of Skywalker

--> Haven’t seen it and after seeing the spoilers, I don’t plan to. I really liked TFA, and was excited to see what they did with the Rey-Poe-Finn dynamic. I was not here for Kylo Ren or Reylo. I guess Finn/Rey is joining Tandre and Funn in my “missed opportunity OTPs” corner. D:

Chocolate/Zen: Warrior Within

--> OMG one of my fave movies of all time. Like I appreciate it more and more with age. It’s basically everything I want in a movie.

--> The scene where Zen discovers that her mom’s hair is falling out and she blames herself for it always gets me. Like I always forget about it, so when I see it again, I can’t help but nearly breakdown myself, because I know exactly what Zen’s thought process is without her even having to say anything. I feel just as overwhelmed as she does in the moment and nearly cry every time watching it.

--> One of the few movies that I wish actually got a sequel. Like I have so many questions that could be answered. How do Zen and Moom adjust to living in Japan? How does Zen’s father try to relate to her and Moom? Do they make any other friends? Will Zen get access to resources that will help her? Will they be further ostracized because of their status as outsiders? As someone who already struggles verbally, how will Zen adapt to living in a country that primarily speaks another language? 

Pokemon SwSh

--> Multiplayer is so much fun and wayyyy more accessible than in the past imo. A bunch of people at my martial arts school would do raid battles before classes, so I would always leave to get there early and play with them. 10/10 experience, and it makes me excited to get Animal Crosssing to do the same thing.

--> But on the other hand, I feel like this game has a lot less going for it than SuMo. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it feels like too much is missing. Like I still enjoy it, but it’s more for the gameplay and less for the story. I’m also not nearly as invested in my team like I was last time (I loved my Sun team so much, I basically kept it the same for US, minus one or two changes). I’m trying to change it fits a “Psychedelic Ocean” vibe (Water/Psychic), and then do an “Earth” themed team for my Shield run but I just haven’t picked it back up since beating the game.

--> The characters were alright. I wasn’t as attached to any of the rivals like I was in SuMo. Leon is my bro though.

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If Silencer is another "Marinette is to blame for the akuma episode" I'm gonna be pissed. And as much as I would love for Luka to go after Lila as an akuma for all the bs she's caused, I'd rather his emotional arc parallel Mari's rather than have her be entirely connected to it. Like instead, have the conflict be about his control over his emotions (he wasn't always good about it and still struggles from time to time) and he's empathic to the point of overload or something. Have him try to help someone out and keep his emotions in check until something triggers him (His dad maybe?) He turns into Silencer to "silence" other people's emotions. Hearing them hurts him too much. When he's deakumatized, he and Mari open up about their struggles, and maybe this is when he learns about Lila and the advice Adrien gave her.

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Shugo Chara Party Recap #NahIFinishedLikeWeeksAgoAndIJustRemembered

Update: Shugo Chara Party is just as unwatchable as I remember it, do not recommend. At one point, I found the variety segments and Pucchi Puchi more watchable than the actual anime. Of the anime episodes, I can say the only ones worth watching in any capacity are 3, 7, 12, and 19. That’s because 3 and 19 focus on Utau, 7 has Rimahiko which is still my bias, and 12 has more antics with Ami. That’s it. Don’t bother with the rest of the season.

And look, this is coming from someone who actually enjoys filler (to an extent). I didn’t mind most of the filler episodes from SC or SCD. But Doki Doki just doesn’t offer enough material in a short running time. Read the manga or fanfiction instead.

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Some Quick Thoughts on Peathers

I promise that my analysis of Heather Chandler is almost done. I’ve finished drafting, so it’s in the editing stages now. But I had to take some time out of my day to show myself some self-hatred, and watched the pilot episode of Peathers.

And in case if you’re worried about it being bad, don’t worry - it is.

--> This show is horrendously tone deaf. I mean it was already there since it was punching down on those  rotten kids!! for using social media to be involved with social justice issues and being politically involved especially in such a divisive era, but in the aftermath of Parkland, everyone involved just seems like real assholes or just super ignorant. Now, that isn’t necessarily the show’s fault that a school shooting occurred just days before it was dropped, but it’s not an uncommon occurrence, unfortunately, and the people involved should have known that when picking up the work, considering the role of violence in the story. Not to mention that the teens in real life are working hard to organize these events to have their voices heard on an issue that effects everybody.

--> I actually kind of enjoyed the opening scene with Shannen Doherty upon a first watch. It took me a moment to understand what was happening, but once I did, I actually got kind of excited. The tone of it felt much closer to the original movie than the musical did (the movie being much more surreal and bizarre, the musical campy and over the top), so I was hoping for a return to form there. This was also considering some of the teasers they dropped (with some great cinematography, I’ll add), but oh man did they know how to kill any good will they built up. JD later drops the story of what happened to Veronica SO IF YOU HAD NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED, HE SPELLS IT OUT FOR YOU, DON’T WORRY!!! :):):):):):):)

  --> And let’s talk about JD for a second - he is, without a doubt, the weakest link in the cast. Movie JD was charismatic, aloof, and difficult to read. He drops his mother’s death on Veronica at random, before being amused by a song on the radio and shooting at it. TV JD is that one kid in high school that I initially thought was creepy, but was nice to and sort of became friends with, and then learned, no, he is that creepy. TV JD drops his mom’s backstory, because. That’s it. Just because. I guess they want you to relate to him and feel bad for him but I really don’t. Take his “labels don’t really matter” speech - of course he feels that way. He wouldn’t be bullied in reality for being white or a dude. He doesn’t have to worry about hiding his sexuality (he tells his dad that he’s going to have sex with Veronica, which made me shrivel up and lose ten years off my life) or even struggle to understand what his sexuality is.

--> And then there’s his connection with Veronica. They have none. Seriously, they have a couple of conversations together, but no serious indicators that they’ve entered a relationship until after they’ve killed Heather Chandler. Both in the movie and musical, JD and Veronica sleep together, so when they do kill Veronica, she has more conflict over the situation because they’re involved together. She has no reason to go along with his plan other than the fact that she hates Chandler. Veronica likes that JD is a “rebel” when he’s actually a twelve year old in a seventeen year old’s body thinking that “eDGY” humor is still funny. And they have no chemistry together. As much as I hate Musical Veronica and JD, there was still something there. The only scene I liked with Peathers JD and Veronica was when they were in Snappy Snack Shack having their party with the bubble gun, and that was more for the shot itself rather than the characters.

--> By far the worst thing about this episode is its pacing. In addition to the horrible handling of JD and Veronica’s relationship, there’s Betty’s rise to power, the non death of Chandler, Mac vs Duke... it’s like they tried to rush through as much of the first act as possible so that they could get to their own original ideas. I know that they’re excited to show off what they have in mind for this retelling, but they throw so much at you and expect you to believe it all. For example, Betty becoming the new Chandler. This might have been an interesting idea, if they took more time to establish Betty’s character, outside of being slightly bitter at Veronica. What are her skills and goals? What does she excel at? How is she regarded in school? The movie has maybe a quarter of the amount of time the show will have, and it gives you enough insight into Duke’s character to see how she becomes Chandler 2.0. The escalation, here, on the other hand, is meant to be a “shocking” twist because “oMG THAT DIDNT HAPPEN IN THE ORIGINAL”. Twists have to be earned, guys.

--> The fact that we’re supposed to feel bad for the cishet white girl because she feels like she has “no identity” because everyone identifies themselves using labels, and she can only cling to the “half-Jewish” label.  This especially doesn’t work later when she calls Chandler “fatty” and we’re supposed to believe this was an accident. Like, no, I really don’t, because she knew Chandler long enough to know that would hurt. 

It looks like this show is gonna go full-on Riverdale after this, which I am not interested in. If I wanted that, I would just go and watch Riverdale, but I don’t hate myself enough for that. 

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I swear, when I first sat down to write the differences between movie Heather Duke and her musical counterpart, I wasn’t thinking it would end up being an entire essay, and I didn’t think it would make me hate the musical.

SPOILERS: The musical butchers her character. Essay in the works to prove this.

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Spoilers for Spiderman: Homecoming

Overall I really enjoyed Homecoming. Tom Holland’s Peter Parker was a lot of fun to watch in Civil War and really comes to life here. He’s just a giant dork who wants to do the right thing! (sound familiar?) The supporting cast was quite lovely too, especially Liz and the Vulture. The relationship he has with Peter has to be one of the most fun and dynamic ones we’ve seen in a really long time.

That said, I need to vent about Tony’s “mentor” role to Peter. Tony doesn’t have nearly as much screen time as the promotional material would suggest, but they keep advertising his role and involvement with Peter as super important. I’m pretty anti-Tony tbh, so I won’t be kind here. That said if he is your fave, and you don’t feel like reading any negativity, you’ll probably want to skip this.

SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF THE FILM.

Tony is in no way prepared to mentor someone as young and inexperienced as Peter. And as much as I want to cover his ineffective tactics (leaving Peter to only communicate with Happy who basically ignores him, not training him in terms of physicality or strategy, or even just talking about his experiences), or the scene where he takes the suit away,  I found something else just as disturbing, maybe a bit more: his last scene in the movie, when he’s about to give Peter a new suit and make him lead the press conference. That last part which he drops at the very last minute. And let’s be real: Peter is in no way prepared to go in there and talk to those journalists.

Look, I’m not 100% sure how press conferences work. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that a couple of them happen at the last minute or that those giving the press conferences are given little notice to prepare. But unlike Tony, who’s an adult in his fifties, grew up around the attention and atmosphere, and his handled these conferences dozens of times, Peter is a teenage boy completely out of his depths. He is in no way prepared to handle something as stressful and eventful as this without his mask, let alone while concealing his identity from the general public! 

And the real kicker? Tony expected for him to do it. Just throw him in there to the wolves, of course he’ll be fine! We’re talking about the same kid who is clearly socially awkward, whether in large groups of people or around his crush. Sure, he’s able to ask her to Homecoming, but that doesn’t make him suddenly ready to make a big statement to a large group of adults, especially journalists who have likely prepared questions ahead of time. If they bring up the Accords, how is he planning to respond? Does he even know what they are? What kind of statement or speech would he even be able to give? And more importantly, how is it fair to suddenly drop all of this on him? Sure, in the end Peter said no and Tony let him go, but the fact still remains he expected Peter to do it with no preparation.

Tony doesn’t train Peter at all. Not for this or for being a superhero. He doesn’t share any of his experiences or give him any context for what he’s fighting against. He’s actually pretty manipulative (see the scene in Civil War or how he claims that he “llistened and believed in him” despite telling him to call Happy who went on to basically ignore him). Tony is in no way qualified to be a mentor for someone for anything, let alone being Peter’s superhero “mentor”.

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I’m watching this review of Pokemon SuMo episode 32, and I seriously have to wonder if this person doesn’t understand that you can develop more than one character in a spotlight episode??? Like, yes, it’s a Lana episode, Lana is the focus, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the only character that makes any progress?? Episodes generally have B-plots anyway, which is what Lillie’s story is?? I know that Lillie steals the spotlight, game-wise and in the anime, but it’s nowhere near as bad as this reviewer is making it out to be. HE EVEN POINTS THIS OUT HIMSELF saying “Lana got the most screentime and development” so what’s even the point of getting mad???

Not only that but I’m assuming that Lillie is going to continue to make this sort of progress while they’re on Akala. Meanwhile, Lana, Kiawe and Mallow (possibly Sophocles???) will get arcs that last a couple of episodes, with Lillie getting B-plot material and being ready to take on whatever the next major arc has in store for the SuMo squad.

not to mention, i guarantee ppl would complain if Lillie just sat in the background with nothing to do but whatever.

also not to mention that ofc we’re going to want to see her reaction to having to try out a ride pokemon??? just bc she’s bonded w a couple of pokemon doesn’t mean she’s conquered her fear??? sure it can get repetitive but we see that lillie is willing to try and make progress.

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Quick Rip of ACO/WAR

Of course Maas makes her soulless villains asexual, possibly even aromantic. (It doesn't appear to be explicit, but these characters are coded at least). To be honest, I'm only half-surprised by this development. Part of me didn't think she'd actually do it, but then I remember the characterization of Manon's grandmother and I say "Here we go again". And her phrasing is that they don't have "passion". And equates that to their soullessness. Don't have passion? That's probably due to your lack of a soul! Though I'd like to see Maas then explain every soulless vampire in BtVS then - they seem pretty passionate to me (see Spike and Drusilla). And then let's just ignore any meaningful relationships like friends and family... It's not like villains could have those anyway! My peeps, you should read Ultraviolet and Quicksilver instead. Quicksilver has an openly asexual protagonist who is super rad and talks about her orientation with her friend a couple of times. Also, it's a billion times better but that just does without saying. :p

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The Anti Ma*orian Manifesto Part 2A - The Rules of Attraction

(Soo... I meant to be working on this over spring break, but I left my book back in my dorm. Unfortunately, this means the next installment is getting delayed. I was at least smart enough to write some of this ahead of time.)

The next major Ma*orian interaction doesn’t happen for quite a while, but there was one passage in between that caught my attention.

“Not like Manon’s hair, which was the pure white of moonlight on snow” (Empire of Storms 130).

This got me to wondering the question I posed last time: why are these people attracted to each other? Or better yet, are they?

For me, this delves into character writing, and why it’s really important to know your characters before you write. Just allowing them to roam on the page without considering how they make decisions or react to specific situations often leads to contrivances in the narrative. Especially if a character acts OOC for a reason that doesn’t make sense and ruins the immersive experience.

It’s the same thing when writing romance. You can’t just expect to put two characters together and have a good relationship without understanding who they are. For example, if you’ve previously established a character as a man-eating/hating witch , it’s going to be less believable that she would experience any kind of sexual and/or romantic attraction to men, especially if it’s exclusively men. We’ll get back to this point in a later scene, so let’s instead start answering the main question.

I’m going to voice what might be an unpopular opinion among the anti-Ma*orian/ToG camp: I actually believe Dorian’s attraction to Manon. At least, in theory. 

Manon has a lot of similarities to a previous love interest of Dorian’s - Celeana/Alien. They’re both involved in high risk careers, are known to be bloodthirsty, are actually royalty, and do morally questionable deeds throughout the course of their narratives. Both are also initially under the command of people they don’t respect, though Manon’s grudge against her grandmother starts more after her development, whereas Celeana always detested the king.

Also consider that two books ago, Dorian saw the woman that he loved, Sorscha, brutally murdered before he got locked up and posessed by the Valg. From there, things have only gotten more complicated, compared to when the series first started. Alien is in love with another man, and Chaol not only sacrificed his well-being for Dorian, but is now gone off on his own journey with someone else. The days of flirting with his champion while playing pool, sharing books, and only worrying about Cain killing other champions are long gone. It’s not much of a long shot to argue that Dorian might be longing for those days back at the castle when things were much less complicated.

From this, I think it’s fair to say that Dorian could be projecting his feelings of Alien onto Manon. Alien represents those easier times, but she’s with another man now, and while he has previously told Chaol that he “can’t pick which parts of her to love” she hasn’t exactly treated him well over the course of the last few books (that’s a different rant though).

But then there’s Manon. She’s very similar to Celeana, (especially comparing Manon’s white hair to Celeana’s blonde), Dorian has no reason to think she’s seeing someone else, and perhaps most importantly of all, she’s spared his life at least twice. It’s not all that surprising later on when he defends her against Alien.

Of course, all of that might be more speculative. Dorian has not outright stated that he misses the time he spent in the T*rone of Glass, nor has the narration ever explicitly stated something along those lines. We do know that he misses Chaol, at least, but he’s known Chaol for a long period of time. He could just really want Chaol back. And while he also hasn’t made any direction between Celeana and Manon, we still have a large number of similarities between the two of them. The book itself lampshades this.

Still, I wouldn’t entirely be surprised to see if any of that was the case. Of course, I still expect M*as to write Ma*orian as a serious, loving relationship!!!, in the same vein of Ratlien (is that how you spell it?) so all of this speculation doesn’t really matter or change anything in terms of endgame, nor how shitty it is. But moving on...

Why Manon is (supposed to be) attracted to Dorian is less clear. All of Manon’s previous interactions with men have been negative, including her first interaction with Dorian. The scene we looked at last time still doesn’t have the two entirely trusting each other by the end. And while Dorian at least thinks of Manon once or twice throughout his chapters in an attractive light, I don’t recall Manon ever doing the same. Even if you buy that Manon is attracted to men, exclusively or no, that still doesn’t answer why she is attracted to DORIAN. 

Maybe he shares a quality with either Elide or one of the Thirteen that she slowly starts to pick up on over time. OR maybe it’s just because he’s ridiculously good-looking. The latter case would be shallow, and honestly would work better if they were going for more of a casual fling than a serious relationship. Except, clearly that’s not what M*as is trying to write here. Clearly, Ma*orian is meant to be on par with Ratlien. And in the case of the former, we don’t have any reason to believe that. At least, not at this point. 

Next time, we look at the next (major) Ma*orian interaction and try to see if there is a reason to see if we should believe Manon being attracted to Dorian (spoilers: there isn’t, but we’re still going to dissect it anyway).

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The Anti-Ma*orian Manifesto - Part 1: OR why chapter 7 of this book is NOT a lucky number

Alright, I’ve put the book down for more than a week after finishing it. Let’s dig in to this trainwreck of a “relationship”.

Our first major scene starts in the middle of chapter seven. Dorian is being attacked by the witches. Manon decides to spare him, which could be a nice callback to how she didn’t kill him in their previous encounter. But then it’s ruined by a reminder that he is so much taller than her and apparently also muscled?? How though? I know this series is fond of its “alpha males” but this just seems like a deliberate attempt at rewriting a previously established character and fitting him into a role for the sake of Author Appeal. Wasn’t he previously established more slender?  

Anyway, he “breathes” his greeting just after “rasping” “What do you want?”. In return, she “purrs” back at him. 

So already, we have a problem. While not a deep one, Manon and Dorian already have a history with one another prior to this, and as we’ve previously established, it was not a good first impression. Going from him tempting her into killing him to flirting with one another is just terribly inconsistent. Not only that, but take a look at this bit prior to her...”purring”.

“Some ancient, predatory part of her awoke at the half smile. It sat up, cocking its ears toward him. Not a whiff of fear. Interesting” (Empire of Storms 85).

The way this narration is written denies Manon any agency in her potential attraction. When I read this, I do not think “Manon is naturally attracted to Dorian.” I think, “This is some meta level shit about how Manon is being strung along and forced to think of Dorian in that way”. The only other reason we would have to believe that she is attracted to him then is his physical appearance. Which, for a potential friends with benefits or casual relationship might be fine. Still wouldn’t be great, but it would be less awful.

A romantic relationship that we’re supposed to see as the ideal, however? 

Not only that, but if looks are the only reason they are attracted to one another, that’s not going to be a relationship that lasts for long.

The scene continues, and minus a weird word choice (”his ‘sensuous’ mouth”? Really?), everything plays out as you would expect a competent writer to handle the situation: Dorian asks why she is helping him, she gives him information, but not really her motivations, Manon still sees a bit of the Valg leftover in Dorian. Overall, I would say this chapter is the least offense of what’s to come.

Well, other than the whole part where she considers killing him, but once again, her agency to decide is taken away by the Yellowlegs showing up. And I’m not making that up - the narration literally says that. (page 87 btw).

What can we conclude from this chapter? Well, if Maas wasn’t insistent on hooking these two up by the end of the book, this scene might have hinted at development of a decent, platonic relationship in which both characters work out complex and deeply rooted issues. On Manon’s part, she would continue her growth and development as she builds yet another meaningful relationship with someone, and Dorian might be able to move past some of his past trauma and find the strength in himself as the King of Adarlan. 

All of this is hypothetical, of course, but the groundwork for it is there. And while I have ragged on the whole “Dorian-baiting-Manon-into-killing-him” thing, with better writing we could see them progress beyond that. All it would take is some acknowledgement that it was messed up and an effort to move on past it.

But that one brief passage, where they practically batted their eyelashes at one another, indicated the real priorities in their end game relationship status. It’s insulting that Manon is practically being rewritten to fit into this ship, but the ship itself is being rushed through development. It moves by so quickly, we don’t even get a reason or understanding of why these people might even be attracted to one another other than physical appearance. And if it is only physical appearance, then what reason do we have to believe that they would fall in love with each other and stay in a committed relationship? 

Next time, we’ll be briefly focusing on the question of attraction - what draws the two of them to each other, if there is anything at all? And considering who these people are, does their attraction to one another make any sense as a result of the narrative? From there, we’ll look at the next big scene between the two of them.

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Empire of the Soul Graveyard Update

In chapter 42 when Dorian asks Manon if they are allies, she refuses to answer without knowing what happened to Elide and her Thirteen. But the best part is SHE ASKS ABOUT ELIDE FIRST. 

THAT IS LOVE DEAR READERS AND SJ*M. Keep your trashy compulsive heteronormativity away from Manon and put her in the relationship THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE W HER CHARACTER. Dorian has Chaol. Still want to put him w a woman? Then why did you kill Sorscha? Also, why does everyone have to end up paired off by the end? I thought this book was supposed to be feminist? So wouldn't it be feminist to a. Show a loving lesbian couple and b. Show characters being happy without being romantically committed in any way???? 

(Of course all of this is rhetorical bc this series isn't feminist. White feminist perhaps but people argue that it fails at even that so...)

[theoceanswaves0]

I think I’ve already touched on this, and maybe it’s because I’m rewatching Naruto, which is basically an underdog story in which you get to see the main character grow stronger and smarter, but I take a lot of issue with Celeana apparently being the “best” assassin in all of the land.

Think of it. We never get to see her improve her skills or pick up any strategies. In the first book, she spends more time reading, or playing billiards and piano than collecting information on the local court. Stuff she could use to blackmail or threaten people into doing what she wanted, or killing someone one and pinning it on someone else. I guess you can count her coming to terms with her Fae heritage and magic training in book 3, but by that point, the story takes an entirely new direction (which is a different issue entirely, but I’ll probably talk about that later), and again, that’s much later, and accounting for a different skill set. And after that, Cel tries to divorce herself of her previous life, including her life as an assassin, hence the “Aelin” identity.

If you’re going to write a story about an assassin, you should want to think through all of the different tactics they have running through their mind. My favorite parts of the book are whenever Cel leaves her room to go into the passageway and explore because A. it gives her some agency and something to do other than pine over the prince and be bored and B. it’s the only time she shows any kind of cleverness and resourcefulness that stems from her training and experience.

And most of this wouldn’t even bother me if the claim wasn’t all talk and no show. Cel insists on showing off for the majority of the competition, even when she’s advised not to so no one will target her specifically. She initially thinks it’s a “good” plan, but then has to go and immediately show off at archery just to show up Cain. It doesn’t take a genius to think to blend-in, yet the world’s greatest assassin has to be told by someone else (who also sucks at their job, but again, that’s a different issue).

Contrast this to Yelena from Poison Study, which has a pretty similar setup to Throne of Glass (imprisoned girl is given a chance to be set free if she works for the king, though in PS, Yelena doesn’t have to compete against other people). Except in Yelena’s case, she has to spend some time studying to be a taste tester. No one ever claims she is the best straight off the bat, and the story is set up so we can learn alongside her. That makes any development she gets much more grounded and measurable. I believe her more as a taste tester, than I do Cel has a great assassin.

I’m not saying that Cel should have started as a novice. Maybe instead, she was a veteran, who was jaded and world weary. And if that’s the case, we should get to spend some time actually seeing Cel’s relevant assassin skills (and no, understanding all weapons does not count, because she wouldn’t even need to know how to use most of them, and it’s not like we ever see her use them anyway). That gives us an establishing point so when she does evolve as a character, we can appreciate how much she has grown.

[theoceanswaves0]

I just realized another issue with the “Alien is okay with being a conqueror” thing. For the time being, ignore my snarky margin remarks, we can discuss that another day. Instead, look at Cel’s reaction to seeing the slaves when riding toward the castle, which is from the first book. While I take issue with the whole “I’m not like these rich noble people” mentality she has, Cel actually was a slave and is aware of the mistreatment they went through. She knows better than anyone the circumstances they are put through at the salt mines, and the fact that most of them die within a month. At the very least, she can empathize with their situation.

 So when we finally get to the “if I became conqueror” moment in book 5, it really does feel like Alien forgot about how horrible slavery and conquering other people is. I also wonder if this isn’t just another way of her separating her identity as Celaena from the Alien one - but then that would just mean she’s literally embracing the same strategies and rhetoric of the King of Adarlan, an he was posessed by a Valg. All for the sake of distancing herself from her past. Wouldn’t this mean then that Alien is actually more evil than the King?  

 Of course that last bit might be a leap in logic, and it’s not like Cel was entirely perfect on this issue other. It’s still jarring to see her eating random candy, and reading, and wearing pretty dresses, and worrying about the prince, and playing piano instead of doing anything that would actually help the plot. Instead of using that secret passageway to gather information that could help the rebellion or set those slaves she seemed to care about so much free, she spends more time whining for Chaol and Dorian to let her go to parties. So maybe it’s not all that surprising to see her end up where she is now, but it goes to show that she actually got worse as a character. And let’s not imagine what she would be like as queen.

[theoceanswaves0]

Empire of Missing Plot Update

I'm halfway through now and I've tabbed up the Ma*orian scenes. Speaking of page length, why is this 700 pages long? It already feels like we hit the book's climax and barely all that much happened.

[theoceanswaves0]

Some concluding thoughts on ToG Reread

I’m so sad because I had this wonderful post in which I ranted about some of the biggest problems of ToG, and I thought I saved it to my drafts, but now they are gone. It was really long too, but here’s a briefer version instead.

--> Everyone sucks at their job. Literally everyone. Especially Cel who is supposed to be “the greatest assassin in the world” or whatever. 

--> Who thought it was a good idea to give Cel a room with a billiards table, a piano, and a mystery passageway? That apparently the other contestants have access to? Why are they not being kept in prison cells?

--> Furthermore, why are they allowing criminals to fight for the right to be the King’s Champion? Shouldn’t he just pick someone he knows is going to remain loyal to him?

--> And why would they give weapons training to them too? Why does Cel already know how to use weapons such as an axe and a staff? It’s not like she ever uses them throughout the course of the series, and more importantly, as an assassin, she shouldn’t need to know how to use them. That requires certain conditioning and training to use properly 

--> This point has been made several times before, but this book and series as a whole sucks at representing diversity. And yet according to interview, the author thinks trying to put more than one non-white and/or LGBT+ character in the main cast is “forcing” it? As opposed to what, making your entire main cast white and straight, minus your token POC and bisexual? 

--> Really weird side note, but I kept having Utena flashbacks during the duel. Maybe it’s the word duel. Or maybe it’s how Utena actually deconstructs all the heteronormativity that ToG reinforces. Or how she used two songs from the OST for part of her playlist. (Seriously, I’d actually like to see her talk about the show and what she would ship. I wouldn’t be surprised if she shipped Utena with Touga, despite him being trash).

[theoceanswaves0]

Quick show of hands?

Does anyone else prefer the film version of Heathers to the musical?