#i had the idea of this character being part of the octoling for long

[retracexcviii]

Sunday Moon

Hello there dear fellows and Luna lovers, Sunday is back.

Don't edit this drawing and don't post it anywhere.

One more week, one more Luna. In this case is Luna, ~the octoling of the blue moon~. This is a crossover I had in my mind for a long time since I first played Splatoon years ago. Recently, I found an artist with this awesome style that remind me to the game art so I ask them to make this comm for me.

You can find their profile @/vetrelex on Instagram.

[danndeemo]

Agent 4 comparing themself to agent 3 perhaps if its in character:3 theres no domestic fluff here cus that's illegal/j

ooohhhh i like that one dw it doesn't break my 4's character

Four wouldn't consider himself the best qualifier for the whole saving the city from running out of electricity thing AND saving a famous popstar that has gone missing alongside the great zapfish, but he's certainly not the worst inkopolis square streets had to offer. he knew his way around practically all weapon classes, albeit with a shooter bias, but he was working on it. and not like he had barely any battle experience either. he was a solid fighter in turf or ranked. he could do this.

with Marie telling him "good job" after taking out an octarian swarm every now and then it was easier to believe more in his abilities. but Marie can say unnecessary things sometimes too. and she just HAD to throw something like that in during his first encounters with the octoling soldiers.

the octolings were a threat no doubt. Four didn't even know what kind of training they wet through. what techniques should he use against them? it would be a great time for an advice from his mentor. but after managing to splat the first octoling using element of surprise, Four was surprised to hear what the other agent had to say.

"a little sloppy, but I suppose it gets the job done."

what

okay, maybe she's not in the mood today. he's going to ignore that.

the stage is covered in enemy ink, just screaming it's a bad idea to invade the territory. but Four has to be careful with this. all the open space kind of freaks him out and his mind just can't stop imagining scenarios where he gets brutally splatted by a bunch of octoling soldiers.

"I know a plan is good to have before going into a battle, but you sure do take your sweet time" a quieter phrase is heard later from the device 'even Three didn't hesitate as much as you do...'

that part probably wasn't meant to be heard by him, but it still hurt nonetheless. again with the previous agent stuff. it was interesting to learn about who the previous agent was, when they were outside of a battle and Marie just shared little facts. but Four couldn't help but hate Three for even existing with how much comparisons Marie made. cod, did he always had to be better at everything? Four knew hating on his coworker because of this was pointless, he didn't even meet the guy, but man... it felt like it was always about how much it seemed like he was a far worse replacement. it hurt him a lot when Marie 'joked', that she was thrown off by the poor roller wielding skills Four presented. and she just felt the need to add how much better the previous agent was at roller usage. news flash, squids have weapon preferences, and unlike Three, who was apparently a roller main, Four focused on shooters or even the new dualies.

he knew she was being unreasonable at times, everyone was at some point, but he just couldn't get his mind off of this. how much better things would go if Marie picked out someone else? was he really suited for the job? it truly didn't feel like it at all when he was handed a charger or a splatling. maybe long range charge weapons just weren't for him.

"you know even a roller main like Three managed to make better use of a charger in the similar situation"

'THEN JUST MAKE HIM DO THE JOB IF HE'S SO MUCH BETTER AT THIS' Four wanted to scream out, but with 4 octosnipers targeting him he felt like that wasn't the best idea.

-

for the few weeks knowing him, Three was great. he wore a smile on his face most of the time and seemed friendly overall. and he was pretty tactile person. it threw Four off guard when Three would just scoop him up into a hug. being held so tight and not even being on the ground anymore, it sure was a new hugging experience to Four. nobody has ever hugged him like that. it put a small smile on his place.

-

as their relationship progressed, Four felt like everything was happening too fast. he wasn't ready for more heartfelt conversations, that started happening all to often. he hated that he didn't know how to answer to others telling him their honest feelings. what if they thought of him badly because he couldn't answer? it was far deeper than a normal question or advice he had given prior.

it just made him want to stick more to Three, who didn't seem to be about the emotions and just tried to stay positive with everyone. maybe that's what he needs. somebody who won't dig into his undiscovered mental problems.

not great, but i tried

[galaxyseclipse]

OKAY

so I went through the Side Order trailer a gazillion times, so it's disorganized thoughts/theories/opinions time!

we're just gonna put a cut here in case folks don't want to read a quite long post lol

----------

okay, so I think the whole thing of this campaign is that it's not real. nothing that happens is actually happening to Eight, Pearl, and Dedf1sh. I mean obviously it's happening to them, but it has no affect on the real Inkopolis Square

so, I think it's either (1) a simulation/virtual "what-if?" scenario(probably created by Marina) that got corrupted or (2) that "world of order beyond comprehension" Marina mentioned that probably also got corrupted

either way it's gonna be weird, and is probably connected to computers somehow

my main reasoning for that is that every time we(as in the player) enter an area it literally loads us into the area(bringing in essentially an LoD model, then becoming the player/weapons), which most likely wouldn't happen if we weren't in some sort of virtual world

as well as this trippy glowy matrix-lookin' room thing

also the fact that Pearl is literally a drone clearly designed to look like her, and it doesn't appear as if we see her normally at all in the campaign. so my guess is that the drone is Pearl's "avatar" in this virtual world. this is further proven by her description on the Japanese website

this is a janky translation, but still, interesting wording

but why a drone? and why does it look like her? my only guess is that Marina made that avatar to look like Pearl, so she could be safe in this weird environment? I have no idea otherwise

why do Eight and Ded look normal then? why is Ded here in the first place? I have no idea, other than Ded saying they and Marina "go way back" and Eight maybe choosing to have an avatar that looks like themselves?

obviously a lot of that part of the theory relies on this world being something that Marina created and/or has/had some level of control over. I saw a theory somewhere(unfortunately I don't remember exactly) that was "maybe Marina's being controlled by whatever is all that black stuff and what's controlling the robot fish." which like, that'd be pretty dope ngl, and it'd tie into the "Marina made/discovered this place and it got out of her control" theory. and we've seen Marina precisely one (1) time, and it was in concept art that kinda made her look all glitchy and stuff

so like, I dunno guys, I think 'rina might be in danger...

sidenote: I don't really like the "Marina's the antagonist/villain" theory. it just doesn't feel in character for her to do something like that on her own will. I'm down for puppet Marina, but I just don't think she'd cause this herself

----------

something that I've seen bounced around a lot is "you can play as either an Inkling or an Octoling!" using this as proof

my honest opinion? this is a reused text string for the Run Speed Up ability. I don't think we're playing as anyone other than Eight, who is canonically an Octoling

which sucks because I'd be down to play as Agent 4, but whatever, guess they don't get adventures anymore >:(

----------

we're gonna go back to Dedf1sh(or, Acht, I guess) for a second:

this line is weird

sucked into what? the simulation? how? why? did Eight and Pearl get "sucked in" too? or is she referring to the metro?

and how does she know so much about the tower? like the color chips and whatnot? have they been here a while?

SO MANY QUESTIONS AND SO FEW ANSWERS!!

----------

also, the color chip they hold out in that cutscene appears to say "AGNT" on it

it could also say "ACHT", but I don't see why

what does this mean? does it mean anything? who knows!?

wait I got another picture of it in Eight's hand:

it kinda looks like it says "AGNT 7" on it? I dunno maybe I'm just reading things I wanna see lol

it does more strongly resemble the Latin alphabet than the other scripts in this series though, so it's definitely worth pointing out imo

----------

gameplay opinions: looks fun!

folks are saying it looks like a rougelike, and even after looking it up multiple times I still have no idea what the fuck that means

skill tree thingy with the chips and stuff looks cool, hopefully it's implemented well, or at least not in a way that makes it more inconvenient to use it than go without

a bit of a bummer that it doesn't look like you can attack while flying around with Pearl though lmao. but I do like how she looks like she can use bombs(folks have pointed out a hyperbomb in one shot too :3c), and even (maybe, the shot's kinda weird) a singular killer wail speaker

also the design of the drone is fuckin' adorable

like lookit this thing

----------

aesthetic-wise, not bad, I like the muted, pale tone of everything

...except for Acht for some reason?

like, I love Dedf1sh, and am very excited for their inclusion, but also:

octo kinda sticks out like a sore thumb

maybe that's the point, maybe that's why she's helping us, to restore the colors to this simulation or whatever it is, hence the color chips and the soundboard looking thing....

hey wait a second am I onto something?

whatever, anyway, I like how it looks, and the small portions of soundtrack we've gotten so far sound great

----------

also, something pointed out in the comments on the trailer and I thought was morbidly interesting:

those appear to be meat grinders.....

uh, yeah

not sure what kind of substance is coming out of them, but uh, yeah those strongly resemble meat grinders

Eight's gonna die because they were unable to use any small kitchen appliance and starved lmfao

----------

alright, that's all I've got for now I think lol

I wouldn't be surprised if we got one more trailer in like January or something with the release date maybe a Splatoon direct? probably not

[octoooo]

It’s time for me to ramble about my Splatoon characters <3

Gonna be a long post, I can’t stop talking about these squiggly guys

First up is Yuki <3

He’s actually my in-game character and has been since I started playing Splatoon 2 in 2019.

ANYWAY He’s 19, aro/ace and uses he/they pronouns. Proficient with Dualie Squelchers and Heavy Splatling but do Not put a charger in his hands he will let you die (accidentally)

Family was part of the Octarian group forced underground post-Great Turf War. He grew up in Inkopolis Square after escaping. I say his family is “part of” because I’m pretty sure not all of the Octarian race was forced away. Some of them had to have escaped.

Being a pro ink-battler would be cool, he was a pretty decent soldier underground,but back then he battled for survival and recognition. Turf and Ranked made fighting fun. Took the games too seriously at first. He was used to the harsh training underground and knew that either you had what it took or you didn’t. And if he didn’t (aka being discharged from the military) then what else was he to do?

Certainly there were other jobs underground; the food hunters who scavenged the barren lands they lived in, “scientists” and “electricians” who worked in ways to keep their world alive & running despite the circumstances.

(It’s in quotes because,,,,I mean I can’t really say they’re qualified. Their knowledge would be helpful but not equivalent to a scientific or engineering degree up in Inkopolis)

He's a little ashamed to admit that, for quite some time, he harbored hatred for his related species (Inklings). They have everything, took everything from his own people yet still have the nerve to complain and be ungrateful. But he worked through this & doesn’t think like that anymore.

Had a lot of reflecting to do. Often would throw himself into Ranked to forget about it, but that wouldn’t last long. He had to come to terms with the fact that he has nothing on the surface. It’s what his people dreamed of, and he’s not trying to be ungrateful, but it’s not like he had a family, or anywhere to go at first. Technically he had it all in his old underground home; stable income, amicable neighbors, decent reputation due to his military service & status. But up in Inkopolis he has none of that. He lived in the shadows of alleys, no money and no way to get it,

Honestly if Inklings knew of his Octarian military service they would likely only distance more from him.

Speaking of Inklings; they were,,,alright. Some of them couldn’t even tell he was an Octoling from underground until he spoke. Those who could tell showed him nothing but hostility. It doesn’t help much that he didn’t know a lick of modern Inklish.

(The most Inklish he knew was of the old script used 100+ years ago that they teach underground, so he talks like a grandpa)

He spent his early days hiding in alleys watching the locals go about their days. He would always notice the younger Inklings with weapons going to and from the Great Zapfish Tower (we know it’s the battle lobby but that’s what he’d call it) and a weapons shop.

He went to the Battle tower first, but quickly realized you need both a weapon and gear to play (play what though? He had no idea but he’s interested now). After being pointed in the right direction, he was freshly equipped with a splattershot jr, basic gear and ready for turf war.

For a while, he kept losing because he was focused on getting kills, and his teammates did Not like him. It doesn’t help that he can’t understand them either, so when they say to play objective (ink the ground) he doesn’t listen.

It took him some months, a lot of awkward hovering around inkling convos, and a good amount of teammates yelling at him, for him to learn more modern Inklish. When he did, he finally got to read the rules of turf war & gave it another shot. Things got better from there; he earned money for a small apartment, got more weapons, became more social (he still talks like a grandpa most of the time), but he still has that self-reflecting to do.

His first Splatfest was a bit of a disaster? It was Pancakes vs Waffles and he thought there was an absolute correct answer. Making decisions in the military is more cut & dry and each option has consequences so it’s important to pick the right choice. He tried getting people to understand that pancakes were the better choice and that something bad would befall the people who chose waffle (then waffle won and he had to eat his words. He kinda panicked thinking something bad actually would happen)

What drew him to the Splatlands was that people kept asking him if he was from there. The inklings on the surface eventually kinda learn that Octolings live in the Splatlands, but few know that many of them survived underground. When he answers that he’s from the underground they give him a weird look. Eventually he decides to visit the Splatlands and loves it!

It’s an organized mess and there’s a bigger presence of his own culture there compared to Inkopolis Square. It’s a little different but still of the same roots.

-

I also wanna touch on why he’s trans since like,,it wasn’t just a random choice to add spice to his traits. So back when I got Splatoon 2 in early 2019, I played & beat Octo Expansion. I usually used the male character. Something about him just made me go “yaaayayay.” At this point in life, I knew I wasn’t trans but I had recently experimented with chest binding and he/him pronouns, and decided that it wasn’t the right fit for me. Maybe that’s why I used the male model? Maybe not, it’s not important really.

I used that male Octoling kind of as a persona. If I wanted to draw a Splatoon doodle about me and some friends then I would use our in-game characters rather than us irl. Makes sense. But drawing him was kinda,,,odd. I wanted him to be the In-game model but I am a female irl and have a fairly large chest, so I wanted my drawings to reflect that. All I did was slap in a bump for the chest when I drew him, but that was enough for me. And since the character in-game is male, I kept referring to him as such.

Over time (and moving into Splat3) my character became less of me. I drew and imagined him as confident and loud and in all these scenarios I wouldn’t be in. Once I started feeling disconnected from him, I knew something had to change (and I had become more open with online friends, so I had no need to hide behind my character anyway).

I decided to separate entirely(?) from him. While some things that I am (aro/ace) and do (play dualies & heavy splatling) remain as part of him, he is no longer an extension of me. I gave him a backstory, along w/ Redd who I will get into later, and I drew him as the character I wanted him to be rather than who I am.

That was a lot, and I’m not done because now it’s time for:

Redd <3

(I don’t have as many drawings of her </3)

Despite the outfit and outward demeanor, is not outspoken or brave like her cousin. She’s soft spoken & introverted & would probably cry if she were yelled at.

Currently pro-ish ink battler, happened on accident though! She was doing some turf & ranked for fun but in a few matches she ran into her soon to be teammates who wanted to hang w/ her more.

(In my mind there’s like,,pro ink battle leagues. Like how we have NFL, NBA, etc, Sploon world would have professional Ink Battle leagues. The turf/ranked games they play as young squid-kids is similar to playing football or basketball in school. It’s a hobby/interest that could lead you to the big leagues one day. Unless that’s all canon to Splatoon already)

Yuki is like,,,lowkey jealous bc Redd has all this natural skill & doesn’t even want to be a pro battler. Also it’s a little embarrassing and emasculating that he (a well ranked and respected soldier) performs worse than his squishy cousin.

As I said; she’s not even into ink battles. They’re fun and all but doing it long term is not what she has planned. She had a hard time telling her teammates this & struggles to find excuses to skip practice. (Yuki is helping her become more confident & outspoken, but progress is slow).

She’s Interested in making music, and enjoys upbeat jams. She’s inspired by, Deep Cut, ChirpyChips & Squid Squad (“Kraken Up” is her Song)

Her teammates aren’t rude or forceful about their practice, they just don’t know that Redd isn’t all that interested. They'd still be friends & even support her music career.

-

As for her and Yuki’s connected history; Redd was born and raised in the Splatlands. Her family used to live around Inkopolis but when word spread about Octarians fate post-Great Turf War (going underground) they successfully fled to the Splatlands where they’ve been living ever since. They were unsuccessful in bringing the entire family, having to split in order for at least half the family to escape.

It isn’t until Yuki is 19 and visits Splitsville that they meet. I don’t really know how or when or why this next part happens; but they open up to each other & as they talk abt their family they realize that the missing pieces of their own family history is filled in by the other’s story. (Lmao I imagine Yuki talking abt his great grandma like “yea her brother kinda left her for dead.” (he’s bitter about it) & Redd just thinks “hm. Reminds me of my great grandad who felt like he left his sister for dead,,,”

(Specifically Redd’s great grandfather escapes w/ his kids but has to leave his sister behind, who ends up being Yuki’s great grandma. (I think I have these familial titles right?)

Anyway yeehaww Yuki & Redd are distant cousins!

(While their shared backstory serves as a good amount of evidence, they do some further genetic testing to prove it for sure.)

[sideordertheories]

ok sorry for the long gap between posts i already had the whole thing typed out im not too sure why i didnt post it?? i guess i thought i did

image 1 shows pearl in her damp socks outfit, possibly helping the player character stand up in inkopolis square. due to the angle that she's standing at, i think that in the game maybe it'll start out with her helping the player character understand what's going on, like in octo expansion when agent 8 wakes up & captain cuttlefish starts talking to them. i think pearl & marina are definitely gonna be super important in this dlc like they were in octo expansion

image 2 shows a skeleton. while some people thought this was a salmonid, due to the bone structure it's apparently a whale. this is interesting because whales are mammals, they are supposed to be extinct, but the glow in the eyes implies that whales might be important? rise of the mammalians part two i guess?? i don't really know what the whale could mean, if anyone has their own theories on this please feel free to share i am so intrigued

image 3 shows the octoling (actual octoling this time, unlike the character in the images with the huge spikes & the fancy elevator) standing in either a large room or outside. i think this also might be a level in the dlc because of what looks like gaps between the floor & some of the pillars, & also because of the ink(?) on the floor. some coral can be seen growing(?) out of cracks in the floor, but some black and red liquid can be seen on the floor which is probably ink but maybe it's a fuzzy ooze type thing where it looks like ink but it's something else. white, gray, black, & red seem to be the primary colors used throughout the artwork. i'll bring these colors up again when i start actually talking about my own theories but as for what they could be coming from i have no idea. probably enemies but like... what enemies?? coral-ified enemies? maybe they would be called bleached due to the coral looking bleached??? like instead of them being sanitized or fuzzy

[marine-indie-gal]

Back in my Early Days, I actually started out as an SMG4/Splatoon fan considering that the Mario Spoof webseries that I happen to be a big fan of made me dive right into Splatoon (hence, the Character Meggy). I even made my own Splatoon OC that is both in Splatoon and SMG4 (since I actually have my own SMG4 AU that blends in with my own Splatoon AU). Granted, I actually really liked the fan-idea/theory of Desti being the Relative to DJ Octavio (I mostly headcanon her as his Daughter due to their own snarky personalites). Considering that I have been re-watching SMG4 again since I honestly haven't watched it in a long time, I've decided to re-write my own SMG4 AU (since my very first SMG4 Fan Arc was kinda messy which is why I would want to re-write it) and even reboot my very own first OCs. Introducing The Queen of The Octarians, Melody Sekaeria, the Wife of DJ Octavio Takowsa Shogun and even the Biological Mother of Desti. Melody is a Very Sweet, Shy, Kind, Loving, Motherly, and even a Compassionate Loyal Octoling Woman. She was the Daughter of a Normal Octoling Family who the Octolings originated in the Former Town of the Octarians. Her own voice is rather gentle filled with Charity and Passion as her own singing voice can produce a soft loving Melody (hence, her name), though she was not rather perfect unlike most Octolings and Octarians as she didn't seem interest in wanting to join a Splatfest team but was rather into Art and Music since it really passionated and inspired her. When the Great Turf War came, Melody's Family decided to move out of their old home and move to Inkopolis considering that the Great Turf War was getting out of handed so Melody and her Parents had to find a New Home considering that Emperor Susanoo Takowsa and his Son were Tyrants and even aganist the Squid Race. Although Inklings and Octolings didn't like each other at first because of how that Octolings were sub-species towards the Octarians, they pretty much got used to each other when Cap'n Craig Cuttlefish declare the racism and even the War to end. Living in her own New Life in Inkopolis with her Parents, Melody would often spend time with her Friends and Family as she does happened to be a Good Daughter-figure towards Cap'n Cuttlefish and is even friends with Craig's Granddaughters (Callie and Marie). Her own singing voice somehow attracted the Octarian King for Octavio wanted to use that voice of hers to attract the entire Inkling race just so that Octavio would be able to take over the World, he didn't know on who was singing at first far ahead but once he heard her own song, he wanted to find it and use it for Evil for his own plans. During the DJ's arrival of an Unexpected Surprise at a Local Party, Octavio made a deal to the Citizens of Inkopolis that if they wanted to be left alone and not start Another War and even Steal The Great Zapperfish, he must have any of the Female Octolings or Inklings as his own Bride as a desire for a Wife for one must be scarfice to be the Spouse of the Tyrant DJ. Unfortunately, Melody had to be the one as she was willing to be his wife but to Octavio, she was already the one girl who caught the DJ's attention. So he carried off the Octoling Maiden as already overcame against her own will since he made her his own Bride when she was forced to live in the Valley of the Octarians with her New Husband. As she now lived with her Fiance, at first, it wasn't really off to a Good start considering that Octavio wanted Melody to sing for her but she refused considering that she heard a lot of Bad Things about him. Pissing The King off, Octavio despised the Inklings with a Passion considering on how he blamed most of them for brainwashing the Octoling Race. Considering that their own relationship started off Rocky at first, Octavio realize and saw that there was actually more to Melody than just her own voice which somehow grew Octavio into finding interest in her for he realize that he actually liked that part of her as a person. She didn't really seem to like Octavio at first until later on she grew fond of him when they began to get to know each other at first. She was a Ying to his Yang, so they actually found on who they truly were as they got to know each other through time (since they had their own similar balance close to Music). In fact, as they began to grow to each other they even felt sorry for each other considering both of them had their own tragic life (Octavio was actually forced to Start a War by his Father which ended his own Friendship with his Ex-Friend and even Melody was often bullied in life because of how different she was until as her own Time went on, she stopped being a victim for everything in life changed in them). They insantly grew close and in love with each other despite their own differences, they had their opposite terms of the Art of Music. The DJ himself allow Melody to join his own concert as she sang in front of the Entire Octarians while Octavio was playing his own Beats while she sang. Although she was seem ready to marry him, deep down, she actually missed her Friends and even her own Family back in Inkopolis but considering that Octavio has a change of Heart, he allows his Bride to visit her Old Home Land but only for Seven Days considering that she must return to him. When Melody was allowed to come back for Inkopolis for only One Week, her entire friends and family were happy in tears to see her since they really missed her but Melody's Parents begged their Daughter not to return to him but the Daughter told her Parents that he actually changed and learned on how to be a Good Person. But they didn't know rather or not to believe it, they just had to agree, only if they would see rather or not if Octavio's redeemption is true. As the Days of the Week past, Melody still thought of Octavio but despite his own tyranny and flaws, she loved him and felt sorrow within her heart but she had forgotten on what day she was supposed to return (leaving Octavio heartbroken since he thought he was never good enough for her). On the Tenth Day, Melody realized that she was supposed to return to Octo Valley like she promised since a little thing reminded of Octavio's beats as she hurried back to Octo Valley where she found her one true DJ heartbroken while lying on the ground. Weeped in tears, she ordered the Octarians to nurse Octavio back to health for his own Three Hearts were cured. Melody apologize for forgetting on what Day that she was supposed to return since she felt discrated because of how she really missed her Friends and Family in Inkopolios. Octavio still felt disappointed in Melody forgetting her own word but Melody admitted her own truth that deep down she actually loved him despite all the bad things that he has done in the past but understood that he was very lonely deep down, she even sang him a Nice Lullaby as a reminder of his Old Happy Life. In return of the King's own apology, they were officially wed in Octo Valley where Melody became Queen of the Octarians and even the Wife of Octavio though there was a deal that the King made for his own Wife that if she would want to see and visit her Friends and Family, she can stay in Inkopolis for Winter and Fall and even still stay in Octo Valley for Spring and Summer in half of each of the Year.

This right here is basically the newer/remake version of one of my very first OCs of my first fandoms, for those who would want to see the Original design, I'll give ya the link; 

Melody Sekaeria (c) Me Splatoon (c) Nintendo

[bluejaybytes]

Woe, OC post upon ye! Another longass post about my sploon OCs under the cut, including art <3 This time it's Parker, who blorbo-ified at RECORD speeds and is probably like 90% of why I've been going absolutely insane lately

(This ones 2.9k words this time. I will never write short Ever)

These two pieces never got posted, at least not individually, the first being because it's both "unfinished" as I didn't render it like the other busts I did in the same style, and because I ended up giving her a lot bigger of an art piece that I posted here after, so it felt a bit redundant to post the smaller, unrendered drawing here right after. But now it's an excuse to post more! The icon got included in the compilation however, so that ones not new to my blog, but hey now you can see it in a better resolution!

Parker is probably one of the fastest OCs of mine to go from idea to fully realized character, as the idea for a companion for Jake happened while I was working on his bust, and then by the end of that same drawing she had... practically everything major figured out about her.

Parker's from a more rural part of the domes when compared to the majority of the other important Octolings, and while she's not particularly attached to the domes as her home, she's also not really passionately against them either. She had a pretty shitty childhood, and found her outlet, like a lot of Octolings, in the military, having left home the moment she could to instead be a soldier.

She never really strived for excellence or anything, happily accepting being just a mid-ranked soldier, and positioned... basically out in the middle of nowhere. Unlike Scarlet's "positioned in the middle of nowhere" however, Parker's positioned deep within the domes, in a near labyrinthine abandoned sewer system, which is being purposed as supply lines between military camps. It's quite far away from any civilizations, being at least a weeks walk to and from, but honestly, Parker likes that sort of isolated feeling.

She stays positioned out there for a solid four years or so, serving as the squads sniper and lookout, a talent she highly prides herself on. But, just as with Scarlet, ultimately the job weighs on her. She's stationed out in the middle of nowhere, keeping careful watch over her camp and her fellow soldiers, and... for what? Basically all of the problems she's had to deal with have been deserters and runaways that happen to stumble onto their camp, and maybe the occasional report of an Inkling being spotted nearby, but never any that actually make it far enough to where she's stationed. Yet she still has to conform to military expectations, their standards, and she's just reminded of life back at home. She at least feels some modicum of respect here rather than at home, but it's still this lingering feeling of having no control over here life and being forced into this position under threat.

It's a few months after the reported desertion by Scarlet, who's a much higher ranked soldier than Parker, that she decides she just can't do it anymore. She figures if someone in a much more important position than she is can run off and make it work for her, so can she. She plots for a while before she actually leaves however, and, out on a patrol, she manages to spot a door behind what was previously assumed to be a dead end based on the structure of the other sewer systems, which holds a small, long since abandoned and forgotten about maintenance closet and her plan fully realizes.

In the middle of the night, Parker grabs her trusted Splat Charger, some rations, a set of spare clothes, and an old book they had laying around camp, and runs off. Given that the night she ran off was one of her shifts as lookout, her absence isn't noticed until the morning, giving her enough time to successfully cover her tracks, and make her way to the old maintenance closet, which she ever so lovingly declares her "apartment".

However, once she actually is realized as missing, the other members of her squad realize she ran off on purpose rather than anything happening, given how all of her stuff is gone with her, and set out trying to find her. Parker, however, anticipates this, and manages to find her way into some old scaffolding, and just waits. She's great with her charger, and she loves using it, but she also knows the truth, which is that if she ever got caught off guard, she'd never be able to win a fight with her charger close range. So, when one of her old squadmates comes down where she's hiding looking for her, she gets a snipe on them, and kills them. She'd rather not pick fights in the first place, but she knew that anyone after her would be carrying an Octo Shot on them, and a short range, quick kill weapon like that is exactly what she needs, so she rationalizes this as being a necessary act for her own survival.

Once the manhunt calms down, Parker gets herself into a strict routine. Despite having now left the military, she still holds herself to a lot of the same standards, waking up and going to bed on a very tight schedule, always making sure to stay up to date on her skills with her weapons, and a varied daily workout. That said... she actually likes hiding out in her tiny little "apartment". She doesn't feel like a cog in the machine anymore, and while her strict schedule is, just as it says on the tin, strict, it's also hers, and her choice to enforce it, rather than blindly following someone elses schedule for her.

She knows the habits and routines of the soldiers in the area, and also knows when best to raid their camps. She tries not to rely on them for food supplies, as while it's a good backup, she feels that learning to scavenge on her own is much more reliable, as if active combat ever does start, these routines might change unpredictably. That said, she still tends to grab rations whenever she does decide to raid soldiers camps, along with a few other items, such as her prized possession, a deck of playing cards in decent condition, and after a solid two days of planning, even managing to steal an entire mattress and drag it back to her room so that she can sleep a little better.

It's through her knowledge of the soldiers routines that she knows when there's something wrong, and when there's someone where they shouldn't be. She's out on one of her food scavenging outings when she spots Jake, wandering around aimlessly. She sneaks up on him, holds him at gunpoint, and demands to know his rank and why he's out here. She suspects he isn't a soldier, given his outfit being very old, yet casual clothing, the fact he's not carrying a weapon, and how he's wandering around outside of the known soldiers schedules, but she knows for sure he isn't one when he lies about his rank... and answers with something that doesn't even make sense. While Parker had dealt with her fair share of runaways and deserters in the military, she'd yet to see any this deep in the sewers, and certainly not any ballsy enough to lie to someone with a gun to their back.

She drops her guard a little, knowing Jake is blatantly lying about being a soldier, and lets him in on the fact she knows that. Jake asks what she's doing out here, what sort of soldier would lower their guard learning that someone they don't recognize out alone isn't associated with them and is willing to lie about it, and Parker's upfront about it! She's a military deserter, and while it's clear Jake isn't a military deserter, she can tell he's a runaway and in a similar situation that she is. The two end up talking for a while, as while Parker definitely enjoys her weird little life she lives nowadays, she definitely does miss talking to others, and Jake hasn't spoken to anyone, period, in well over a year.

At the end of their conversation, Parker tells Jake that, for at least the next week, she'd like to meet back up here, and that if he wants to agree to that, she'll bring some food with her and they can eat lunch together, or, at least, whatever the closest to "lunch" is that they can get. Jake immedeietly agrees, and the two meet up every day at the same time for a week. However, what Jake didn't know was that this was all a test, Parker wanted to know if she actually could trust him, and after the minimum amount of time she felt like she needed to be able to tell if she could, she invites him to come live with her. While she enjoys relying solely on herself for survival, it's tiring, and she feels that having a roommate would really help and give her some company, and hopefully some more free time as well! Jake doesn't even hesitate, he's been miserable and barely surviving, while Parker's clearly doing well for herself, so he jumps at the chance to even just have a safe place to sleep, having someone around to help scavenge for food, supplies, and just someone to be around who doesn't want to turn him in the cops is a massive bonus.

So, they move in together. It's definitely a tough adjustment, as firstly, there's only a single mattress, and even if Parker could steal another, there's not even room for one, as their "apartment" would then be fully used up in terms of space, so instead Jake sleeps on whatever clothes they're not actively using, and gets to sleep on the mattress whenever Parker's out on her daily chores. Secondly, even if they did have a second mattress, their sleep schedules drastically conflict, with Parker ending up routinely kicking Jake in the chest at 5am, having forgotten she shares her room now. But, luckily for them, they actually find themselves getting along surprisingly well. Parker found the other soldiers always too stiff and miserable, but Jake is anything but, he's funny and there's no expectation on him to treat her like a soldier, she's just... someone he knows! Jake also quite likes her in return, they're both decently competitive people, but Jake has no skills to back it up, and Parker is absolutely willing to poke fun at him for it, and he enjoys the banter she brings to the conversation, it's something he's been sorely missing in his year of isolation.

Once they get over the adjustment period of getting used to living with each other, they end both end up getting into a good routine, sharing the various tasks they need done between each other, and Parker even gets Jake to come out and work out with her a bit, as well as making him spar with her a bit so that he doesn't completely flounder around with weaponry like he did before. That said, Parker isn't just having him do target practice just for the sake of poking fun when he misses shots, she wants to make sure he's prepared in case anything ever happens. She's very confident with both her beloved Splat Charger as well as her Octo Shot, but Jake, while he can somewhat work the Octo Shot competently, can't aim to save his life... of which might be very literal, should anything ever happen. Whenever just one of them leaves their apartment, they take the Octo Shot for protection, and Parker wants Jake to be able to handle himself should anything happen to her, and the Octo Shot be unavailable to him. Jake adapts surprisingly well to life like this, though his aim is always subpar, but he still doesn't want it to be forever. His entire reason for being a runaway was because he wanted to make it to the surface, but in his run from the cops after getting outed, only managed to get deeper into the domes, rather than closer to the surface.

But... even with his desire to get to the surface, it's only a year or so after moving in with her, that Jake ends up putting that want to the side. Parker doesn't really want to go the surface, she's happy in her routine and her life here, and Jake's happy with her, so while he still wants to see the surface, he realizes that the odds of them ever successfully making it out are slim, and he'd honestly rather stay with her and live in hiding than risk everything just for the surface.

At some point, one that neither of them are really able to pin down exactly, their dynamic shifts from platonic to romantic, but ultimately it stays largely the same, as there's not much change to be had when they live in a tiny maintenance closet hidden deep within an abandoned sewer system, other than Jake actually getting to sleep on their shared mattress now... though it's so awful that really it's more just a symbolic matter that they sleep on it together now, it's only a tiny bit better than just the pile of clothes and hard concrete flooring from before.

They live like this for a good chunk of years together, with everything staying mostly the same, they know the routines of the soldiers, and the routines of themselves, and as long as it stays relatively the same, they'll be okay. Of course, it won't stay the same. While the sewers were used relatively frequently by the soldiers in the area, patrols and supply routes only went out once a week, twice depending on the month, but without much warning, sudden upticks in soldier patrols happen. Unbeknownst to both Parker and Jake, the sewer system is actually a direct line between supply routes and the Deepsea Metro, which is suddenly rising in activity. Neither know what to make of it, with patrols of soldiers happening on unpredictable schedules now, and with more and more of them in each patrol. They both resolve to keep a better eye out, but it's not like they can stop leaving, they rely on scavenging for food, so they still have to go out.

It's while she's out rinsing out some of their clothes in a broken water line they use for washing and drinking that Parker finally slips up. She's spotted by a patrol of sanitized Octoling soldiers, and swiftly ambushed. While she puts up a good fight, she's outnumbered, and caught off guard, and ends up very severely beaten. Her injuries are to the extent that she couldn't be salvaged as a test subject for Kamobo, and is instead just sanitized. If she can't be a subject, she can at least serve some purpose to the metro as one of their soldiers. It takes a while for the sanitization to really set in, but after around two weeks, she's sent out on a patrol to ferry more supplies. However, since she's so freshly sanitized, she ends up wandering off from her patrol, going off of base instinct, and wanders back home.

At this point, Jake's long since noticed her absence. He doesn't know what happened to her, or why, but he's spent every moment he possibly can desperately looking for her, in spite of the risks of it all. When he spots a soldier lingering in the hallways near the entrance to their apartment, he grabs Parker's trusty charger, and takes aim. However, once he gets a good look, he realizes exactly who it is, and runs out, yelling for Parker, asking where she's been and saying how glad he is that she's home! And then she beats him half to death.

He's so caught up in the joy of seeing her again that he fails to properly notice the sanitization before it's already too late, and she attacks him. He actually does manage to use her charger to physically block her attack, but she ends up using her old Octo Shot to ram into her charger that he's using to block with enough force to physically snap it in half, and from there, Jake can barely put up a fight.

However, it's not as bad for him as it was for her. Parker had an entire patrols worth of soldiers ambushing her, while Jake only had Parker, so when she brings him back to the metro, he is in good enough condition for Kamobo to use him as a test subject, so the process of wiping his memories begins, while Parker's assigned to menial soldiers duties again. Jake ends up being saved, however, as Kamobo is destroyed before he's ready to be properly used as a test subject, meaning that the majority of his memories are untouched, and he's able to be rescued and hospitalized in the aftermath. What he doesn't realize, though, is that the memories that did get affected, are the most recent ones... meaning that everything in the aftermath of his initial escape from the cops is completely gone, including his years with Parker. To him, he's basically been reset to the person he was at 17, all the while, a still sanitized Parker aimlessly wanders the metro.

...and then, just like how I ended the last Mega Autism Post(tm), Parker gets the same treatment. There's still more to be done with her, but the part of the plot where she becomes relevant again is actually a lot more heavily tied to May, and especially portions of the plot for May that haven't been properly delved into, so all of that gets saved for another day <3

Also, just for fun, here's the alt version of the headshot above, with her sanitized colors <3

[fastfur07]

Super Jump

CW: Vore

Well, here it is. I regret everything.

Unwilling pred, soft, safe vore, no canon characters.

“Really? I can come?!”

“Sure,” Swarm smiled. “You do wanna learn to swim with the school, don’t you? Can’t start too early.”

“My first Turf War…” breathed Cherri, staring up at the Octoling. For too long, they’d only heard the stories Swarm brought back from the battlefield, and they longed to be part of the action. Cherri almost thought of their friend as a character from legend, mowing down the oncoming hordes with his roller.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Cherri urged, grabbing Swarm by the hand and half-dragging him up the stairs.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Swarm laughed, changing forms to slip out of his friend’s grip.

“No, what could I… oh. My weapon.”

“It’s okay, I’ll wait.”

---

“All right, here’s the plan.” Swarm gestured around the lobby as he spoke. “I’ll go out and do the heavy lifting on the front line, and you just hang back and ink the spots we miss. Try to stay out of trouble, but if you’re stuck, you can use Big Bubbler. Okay?”

“Got it,” Cherri nodded, the information already leaving their head. The excitement of a Turf War was taking up all the space. “Are we starting soon?”

“Show me some moves first,” Swarm countered.

All too eager to show off, Cherri lunged at the nearest target, spraying ink in all directions. Swarm couldn’t hide his smirk as he watched them rampage, shooting everything in sight until, with an adrenal cry, Cherri scaled the highest wall and squid-rolled off, but completely missed the ink and hit the bare floor with a loud slap. “Ow…”

Swarm winced, and quickly swam over to help. “No no no no, I’m fine,” the Inkling urged, demonstrating how fine they were by hurling a Splat Bomb, which sailed past Swarm’s ear. “Okay, you’re clearly ready. Let’s go.”

A few minutes later, the two were perched above the map, taking in the open air. “Don’t do anything stupid!” Swarm called.

Cherri nodded, not taking their eyes off their landing spot. Swarm lifted his roller, and before he had time to give any more advice, the match had begun.

---

Cherri quickly grew bored of covering ground. They’d inked every surface around the starting point, and there were no opponents in sight. They idly tossed a Splat Bomb and watched it explode. They swam around in circles. They looked out toward the opposite side of the field, where Swarm was presumably wreaking havoc. Wasn’t there more to a Turf War than this?

Cherri looked up and saw one of their teammates flying across the sky toward the enemy. What was that called again, they thought, a Super Jump? A move allowing you to get back to the action quickly after being splatted? The idea sounded more tempting the more Cherri thought about it. They could finally have some fun, and surprise Swarm while they were at it. They'd have to go quickly, though: there was only a minute left on the clock.

Cherri crouched down in squid form, concentrating on their friend's location. They barely had time to realize they didn't actually know how to Super Jump before they felt a rush of ink and were blasted into the sky.

---

Meanwhile, Swarm was on top of his game. He'd cleared away any opponents in his corner of the map and was rolling back over their ink when he got the notification that Cherri was trying to Super Jump to him.

"Oh… what were you thinking?!" Swarm muttered, looking up anxiously. There they were, hurtling towards him, tentacles flailing. "SWARM! CATCH ME!" they screamed over the wind.

The Octoling threw his roller aside and ran over to where Cherri was about to land. He jumped, arms spread wide, and hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity, before he was hit square in the face and knocked to the ground.

---

“Ugh…” Swarm groaned, sitting up. “Cherri, didn’t I tell you to… Cherri?”

He looked around. Cherri should be back on their feet by now, urging him to get back to the battle, but they were nowhere to be seen.

“They’ve run off. Typical Cherri.” Swarm tried to stand, but fell back: something was weighing him down. Growing more confused, he glanced around again, and thought he saw them - but it was another of his teammates, staring at him open-mouthed in shock.

“C-Cherri…? What’s going–” Swarm wavered, and his gaze flickered to his own body, only for an instant. “AAH!”

The teammate swam away.

---

Cherri was in complete darkness. There was no room to stand up, and barely enough to swim. They remembered crashing into Swarm, but there was no sign of him. The little squid curled up, suddenly afraid. “Wh… where am I?” they wondered out loud.

“Cherri!” Swarm’s voice was reassuring, but seemed to be echoing loudly from all directions, disorienting Cherri further. “Thank goodness you’re okay, but–... no, this can’t be happening…”

“What? What happened? It’s dark! Where are you?” Cherri called, still running off at the mouth. “I’m fine, what about you?”

Swarm stared at his stomach: he looked as bloated as a Salmonid after a feeding frenzy. The skin was moving and trembling and, horribly, there seemed to be just enough room to fit a squid underneath.

“Cherri. I don’t want you to panic, but I– I think I s-swallowed you!” he stammered.

“Oh?” replied Cherri, not panicking.

“We need to get you out of there! Someone help!” Swarm cast around, almost in a fit, but there was no one nearby.

“But what about the match?”

“Forget the match! You’re in serious danger, Cherri!” Swarm tried to cough the Inkling up, but only a few flecks of ink came out. “Okay. Wait. I just need to get splatted.” Abandoning his roller, the Octoling struggled to his feet and ran toward the enemy base, but was slowed down by the weight inside him, and before long the whistle blew to end the game.

---

"How are you so calm about this?" Swarm groaned, lying on his back on the floor of the lobby. "Every second you're in there, you're more at risk of… of…" He couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Of what? Being digested?" the voice from his stomach finished. "I dunno about that. I've been here for like, ages, and I still feel fine." Cherri wiggled around to punctuate their sentence.

"Uh…! Please don't…" Swarm clutched his belly to settle them down. "That feels so weird…"

"I'm sorry I made you lose," Cherri added.

Swarm ignored his friend's apology, still thinking. "But why aren't you hurt?"

"Umm… maybe there's some ink in here that's protecting me?" the squid guessed.

“But the ink’s supposed to disappear after the battle ends!” 

“Oh. Then I dunno.”

Despite Swarm’s worry, Cherri was completely relaxed. Their eyes had adjusted to the dark, and floating in squid form made her feel less claustrophobic. On top of that, the walls surrounding her were soft, almost like a warm hug, but on a much deeper level.

"Hey, Swarm?"

"Yes?"

"It's kinda nice in here."

Swarm sighed. "Look, I was always proud of your ability to make the best of a bad situation, but if we don't get you out soon you are going to die," he urged.

"Mm… Okay." Cherri replied dismissively. If Swarm was nearby, they were sure they'd be completely safe.

---

After a while, Cherri was bored again. There was only so much they could appreciate about their friend's insides. Besides, Swarm would probably still be stressed.

"Hey, didn't you say I might come out if you got splatted?" the Inkling asked. "Isn't there a robot thing that'll shoot at you somewhere around here?"

Cherri's container was rocked as Swarm hurriedly got to his feet. "The Copy Machine! YES! Why didn't I think of that?" He tottered to the open end of the lobby, and before long he'd respawned, with an empty stomach.

Cherri yawned and stretched - they were sore after a long time as a squid - and was tackled by Swarm, his eyes filling with tears. Cherri hugged him back.

"Thank goodness you're okay…" the Octoling sniffed. "I guess we learned something today, huh?"

Cherri nodded. They'd learned how easily Swarm was manipulated, and were already thinking of ways to get inside him again.

The end��

[octocracy]

Character info I shared in the IDBD discord.

sleep routine

What routine? He’s got lifelong insomnia problems and deals with this by just… chugging along until he physically cannot stay awake. He has a mattress in his workspace for this reason, though it doesn’t stop him from passing out in his chair if he’s anywhere else. He does his hygiene stuff intermittently but it doesn’t really connect to when he sleeps.

social media

he doesn’t like to be seen on social media, for his image… but he is there, just anonymously/under pseudonyms. He’s primarily on reddit and twitter but, tragically, has been on 4chan. Unlike Batter, he is on tiktok.

trust

He does not trust easily because, yeah, as someone who had relationships with Inklings before the war he feels like he was a naive fool who got burned bad. That said… it would be very hard to get him to betray someone that he did have a trusting relationship with, for the same reason he’s so guarded in the first place— he values loyalty.

bad habits

He almost never calls people by their actual names. It’s not entirely clear whether he doesn’t learn names correctly or if he’s just fucking around.

soft headcanon

Octavio is very affectionate towards the autonomous Octoweapons, and sees them as his children of sorts— on top of his sense of artistic pride for renovating them, the fact that they use his cuttings as wetware mean that they really are his very weird offspring.

learning new things

Shockingly good, though part of this is that he’s willing to sink a huge amount of time into things he’s determined to learn. Not only does he tend to fixate and work tirelessly on one subject at a time, but he can keep something on the backburner for decades. However, when it comes to learning new mindsets… well, it’s what they say about old dogs and new tricks.

favorite music

I’ve joked about him only playing his own music, but when it comes to what he listens to, he’s actually got pretty encyclopedic tastes, but he thirsts for new things above all else. The three threads of his listening habits are 1. keeping tabs on the latest hits 2. delving into the depths of Soundcloud (or whatever the Splooniverse has… Sandcloud) 3. re-listening to the classics he’s collected once enough time has passed that his memory of them has dulled.

getting along with the mun

Eh… probably not. While I can wish I’d be his silly rabbit, I’d probably find him pretty overwhelming and unpleasant to be around, and I don’t know if he’d see anything special in me.

the worst thing to hear

“Your species was doomed 100 years ago, when anyone who could have saved it was killed-- because that person certainly isn’t you.”

[HMM...does he think of himself as responsible for his species being doomed??]

It’s less that and more that he feels like he’s responsible for their survival.

really big “if I can’t do this, no one can” kinda attitude, which is why “you can’t do this” is something he really, really hopes isn’t true.

he’s also got a lot of survivor’s guilt from the war going on and has rose-tinted glasses for the people who died, so there’s a sense of inferiority going on

misc. fact

His sense of taste has gotten pretty busted over time, and his spice tolerance is astronomical.

self destructive tendencies

I’ve already mentioned that his sleep habits are atrocious. I’d call Octavio a “workaholic,” but really he has problems with mood regulation that make stopping a task very difficult for him. He rarely pries himself away for long enough to take care of his physical needs in this state-- and then, when he’s crashed, he’s not really any better. For someone who should be thankful for every day he hasn’t keeled over from age, he seems to be taking it for granted with how weak his attempts to keep it this way are.

octoling deserters

very mixed feelings, he is SO into the idea of saying fuck the rules and grabbing the future you want with your own hands, but the idea of being free being dependent on like, renouncing your culture and making yourself a Budget Inkling sits very badly with him

declaring war

He is literally always declaring war the Inklings just haven’t noticed.

against the GCR? he doesn’t really have a reason to at this point, and doesn’t have an army either

but it’s not like they have an army either

if he can assemble a giant mech in his garage he might reconsider and start looking for a reason, but his reasons for declaring war on Inkopolis are 1. taking their resources for the Octarians 2. a little bit of revenge

and unless they overhaul the portals so they can go to other worlds intentionally, nothing he could loot would be of any benefit to the Octarians

[this is true. though i imagine some people might suspect that the idea that you can't go back is a lie]

If he did, he’d still be thinking about getting back home first

I think he’d only consider starting international incidents if the circumstances changed in some way. And he pulls off making a giant mech in his garage. 

hate language

Batter’s is Physical Punch and Octavio’s is Horrible Time

Octavio does insult people all the time but it doesn’t actually signify a deeper hate, he just says words recreationally.

family

Octavio’s parent is long dead, and they had a… distant and uncomfortable relationship, but I don’t know how to explain it much better than I did in my loredump 

They’re one of the people that he sees with major rose-tinted glasses in hindsight, and kind of… remade himself in the image of.

murder

Octavio has killed people before but honestly... he's pretty squeamish about doing it again, in large part due to cephalopod resilience meaning that even pretty extreme violence doesn't result in death for them. He's cool throwing hands with 14 year-olds because they're made of goo and he's secure that they're going to walk away from it. Smashing a vertebrate into a puddle is significantly more gross and bad to him. He'd need to feel like it's very important.

He does love casually threatening to kill people, though. Which might cause some dangerous misunderstandings.

[in which the setting accumulates djs capable of murder]

octavio: hey when i'm exploding people its all safe and shit

but yeah he did do samurai shit back in the day so he has a modest body count

i've seen the horrors of war which is why now when im dueling i put a respawn point in there

embarassment

Octavio makes a point to not dance in front of others, or sing ever. He also hates when people watch him shapeshift, because he’s very slow and kind of shaky— since that’s a skill Octolings usually have mastered in childhood, the impression this gives off is kind of,

[someguynamedstevewrites]

Unwanted House Guest: Valentine’s Run - Part 1

Based on characters created by @tamarinfrog (a.k.a. @searching-for-bananaflies , a.k.a. @cafe-cardamari , a.k.a. @bottledupcomic , a.k.a. OH MY GOD Tammy, just how many more blogs do you have!? I mean, I’m not one to talk, but...)

And the video games Splatoon, Splatoon 2, and Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion by Nintendo.

——————————

A brief primer on Unwanted House Guest:

Began this Fanfiction series back in the Fall of 2015.

Multiple entries in the series were submitted to Tammy’s blogs for posting.

Feel free to search Tammy’s blogs for “Unwanted House Guest” for previous entries in the series.

Now on with the story!

——————————

“YOU WANT HOW MUCH!?”

Arnick shouted from nearly the top of his lungs. Every Inkling and Octoling in Inkopolis Square turned to look at the small bench near the lobby entrance for Turf Wars. There, everyone saw a tall, lanky, Inkling male with purple tentacles wearing a replica hero jacket and with a Legendary Cap on his head. It was an older cap with some sewn on patches and a hole to let the Inkling’s tentacles out through the top of the hat. Upon recognizing who it was, about a third of the people turned back to minding their own business because they were rather accustomed to the ear-splitting din that Arnick Stilton was known for.

“You heard me, chum,” Murch shot back, “100,000 G! Take it or leave it.”

Arnick was gritting his teeth, clenching his fists, and looking like his hat was going to pop off his head. The 21-year old Inkling had been searching for months for a very particular item. He regularly browsed through Annie’s Online Shop, checked every retail store daily since Squiddoween, and constantly asked about it from the local (shady) “gear specialist”: Murch. After going for so long without any luck, Arnick even went so far as to try and craft it himself, but couldn’t get the ability chunks necessary to finish it.

Now it was being held ransom by a puny little one-eyed street urchin.

“You have any idea how hard it was to find this thing, chum?” Murch continued with a small hint of indignity, “Spyke had to ask somebody who knew somebody who knew somebody whose cousin’s sister-in-law’s brother’s uncle happened to have one tucked away in a box at a garage sale out in Calamari County!”

“Yeah, right...” Arnick said in about a 50/50 split between disbelief and sarcasm. He grabbed his iSquid and opened up the app for his bank account. His winnings had increased since Team Toxic’s recent entrance into the highest level of professional Turf War. This was a great honor as they were now being matched up against the most experienced players; some of who had been engaging in Turf Wars for decades. But Arnick still had rent, utility bills, credit card payments, grocery expenses, and other debts that needed paying.

Doing a quick check of his bank balance, Arnick saw that he had exactly 567,902 G in the bank, but by Arnick’s calculations, only 50,000 G of that would be considered “available”. Sure, Arnick had the 100,000 G in his bank account, but if he spent it now, one or more of the payments Arnick had scheduled to go through could bounce. This would lead to a Non-Sufficient Fund (NSF) fee from the bank, and a whole new level of headache that Arnick did not want to deal with. (Especially since Tetrox gave him enough of a headache anyway. Arnick couldn’t count the number of times she’d swiped his credit cards to buy ridiculous things online).

“Hey,” Murch called up to the tall, penny-pinching grouch, “you want this or not?”

“Yes of course I want it, you pipsqueak!” Arnick said with frustration in his voice (which was nothing new), “Is there any way I can pick it up tomorrow?”

“No can do, chum,” Murch said with a shake of his head, “I’m a busy guy here and gear like this is hot stuff! If you don’t buy this, I’m going to have to trash it.”

“WHAT!? You said it yourself this thing was difficult to get, and you’re going to throw it away just like that!?” questioned Arnick.

“Look, chum, I only got so much inventory space here,” Murch said gesturing to his case sitting on the bench behind him, “I can hold this for you up until midnight tonight, but after that, this gear is gone.”

Murch then raised his solitary eyebrow as he took a peak at the precious gear in the case. “Still,” he said, “why would an uptight guy like you want this bo-“

“SSHHHHHHHHHUSH!”

Arnick hissed, almost shoving his hand over Murch’s mouth to keep him quiet. He then looked around him, cautiously, to see if anyone had seen or heard anything. Everyone in the Square was either staring at or side-eyeing Arnick, but mostly because his outbursts were giving them a scare. No matter how many times Arnick blew his top, the folks that inhabited Inkopolis Square would still jump from his outbursts. (Many of them were getting rather tired of it.)

“What was that for, chum!?” Asked an annoyed Murch.

“I don’t want anyone finding out I’m getting this, you dimwit!” Arnick pleaded.

“Why wouldn’t you-“ Murch’s single eye popped wide open as it hit him. He then slowly turned towards Arnick with a big, smug smile on his face. His eye now had a look to it as if it was saying “I see what you did there”. Arnick had seen that look before and dreaded what was coming.

“Ohhhhhh,” Murch said with a sneaky smile, “this is a gift for someone, isn’t it?”

“Your point?” Arnick snapped back, feeling rather annoyed.

“You sly sea dog!” Murch said while giving a small elbow jab to Arnick’s leg, “Don’t you worry about a thing! Your secret’s safe with me.” His gesture was meant to be a knowing jab to the ribs, but given Murch’s height, Arnick’s leg was the best he could reach.

Arnick looked left, then right, then left again. By now, the eyes of the square were no longer on him and Murch. Arnick guessed that everyone was likely thinking: “OH MY COD! WHAT WA- Oh it’s just Arnick! False Alarm!” before going back to whatever it was they were doing. (He was right too.) In a quiet voice, Arnick responded with, “It had better be safe, or so help me, if this gets out...”

“Relax, chum!” Murch said with a smile, “all I need is that 100,000 G and you won’t hear a peep out of me!”

Arnick growled to himself. He absolutely hated the idea of having an overdraft fee affecting his credit score. But at the same time, he had been searching for this gear for so long that he just couldn’t let it slip through his fingers. His mind raced through possible solutions when suddenly the hour changed and the new Turf War maps were announced by Inkopolis’ latest shining stars: Off the Hook. The volume on the large Jumbo-Tron size TV in the square cranked itself up for the news segment.

“Y’all check this out!” the energetic Pygmy Inkling named Pearl called out over the airwaves, “Our sponsor Grizzco is now hiring for Salmon Runs!” She then looked over to her co-host, the Octoling named Marina, who was looking into the camera with a big smile.

“Big Money? Big Prizes? I love it!” The cheerful Octoling expertly said after reading it from the teleprompter. Arnick was certain this was an obscure reference to something. He also wagered that line was written by his old nemesis: “that guy named Steve”. Arnick recalled Steve saying something about how he was taking on some additional work responsibilities at the Turf War League the two of them bickered (and it was always bickering). Arnick didn’t have the foggiest idea what the reference was to, but he didn’t care...

...he just got a brilliant idea.

Turning to Murch, Arnick smiled unusually wide. “100,000 G by midnight!? No problem!” Arnick said confidently, “Hang on to it and I’ll be back with your money in no time.”

“Alright,” Murch nodded, “But remember, when I say midnight, I mean Midnight! If you ain’t here by 12:00 on the dot, then this...” Murch hesitated when Arnick gave him the stink eye (while still smiling, no less) to remind him to keep this under wraps, “...gear goes bye-bye.”

Arnick gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up and a toothy grin that almost sparkled. “Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!” Arnick said assuredly before spinning around and marching towards the Salmon Run Office.

Murch called out, “YOU DO KNOW IT WILL BE TOO LATE BY THEN, RIGHT!?”

Arnick turned around and hollered back, “IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!”

To Be Continued...

[small-leviathan]

The themes of the Splatoon series

(Heads up, this essay analysing Splatoon is literally 2300 words long. You’re gonna be for a while if you decide to stick around.)

In case you've missed it until now, Splatoon has taken the world by storm. Nintendo's cephalopod-based multiplayer shooter series has sold almost 12 million copies across two games in just about three years, and as a result of this still young franchise has cemented itself as one of the legendary Japanese game developer's new hallmark series. Nintendo seems inclined to agree, as Splatoon's central Inkling characters have been featured prominently in the marketing for their latest game in the prestigious crossover series, Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, with the Inkling girl even earning a prominent spot on the game's cover art alongside titans like Mario, Donkey Kong and Link.

So perhaps some of you would scoff at the idea that Splatoon has a deeper message behind it than it first appears. Nintendo isn't really known for baking thought-provoking stuff into their games, and this seems like it'd be doubly true for a game that is first-and-foremost a competitive multiplayer shooter. I don't know if I'll be able to convince you otherwise, honestly, but I do sincerely believe that Splatoon has something to say and in this essay, I will explain why I believe that to be the case, and just what that thing is.

Let's start by describing the most important elements of Splatoon's narrative, and just as a heads up, I think it goes without saying that I will be spoiling pretty much every major reveal across all of Splatoon 1, Splatoon 2, and its DLC, Octo Expansion. Splatoon is set twelve thousand years after global warming and environmental pollution has wiped out mankind as well as most mammals. Having taken our place is a large assortment of evolved sea critters, including crabs, jellyfish and most prominently, cephalopods. Squids and octopi alike have evolved the ability to shift into humanoid forms, becoming known as inklings and octarians, respectively. Unfortunately, our squishy successors didn't get along very well, as rising sea levels forced them into a violent conflict known as the Great Turf Wars. This conflict was eventually won by the Inklings, letting them claim the surface while the octarians were forced into hiding in great underground cities.

Splatoon proper takes place a hundred years later, and the Octarians have been reduced to just a distant memory in the mind of Inkling society. Trouble is brewing under the surface, however, as the leader of the Octarians, DJ Octavio, is planning an attack on the hub city of Inklingkind, Inkopolis. The player takes control of a customizable inkling who is recruited by the military veteran Cap'n Cuttlefish to help take down the Octarian menace before they can start their campaign. Along the way the player, now dubbed as "Agent 3", is helped not only by Cap'n Cuttlefish, but by his granddaughters Agent 1 and Agent 2, who are eventually revealed to be the two members of the pop idol duo The Squid Sisters, Callie and Marie (to no one's surprise, the game does not try very hard to conceal their identities). Long story short, Agent 3 defeats the Octarians, ending in a grand battle against DJ Octavio. The Octarian threat is defeated and DJ Octavio is captured, with inkling society none the wiser.

Splatoon 2 unfolds two years after the events of the first game, and a lot has changed. Callie and Marie have drifted apart, following a popularity contest ending in Marie's favour, and taking their place as the number one musical act is a new duo known as Off the Hook, consisting of the rapper Pearl and the DJ Marina (who looks suspiciously like an Octarian, but more on that later). Marie discovers that DJ Octavio has escaped his containment, and now alone due to Cap'n Cuttlefish and Agent 3 having gone on a new mission and Callie suddenly disappearing in the midst of a trip, she is forced to follow her grandfather's footsteps and recruit a new Agent, this one being our new playable character, Agent 4. Not much is different from that point onward, except for the eventual reveal that DJ Octavio is responsible for Callie's disappearance, having kidnapped her after he escaped and is now brainwashing her with a pair of hypnotic sunglasses. Nonetheless, Callie is saved and DJ Octavio is defeated once again.

You might be wondering why I bothered to explain all of the plot of Splatoon's singleplayer content, and the reason for that is that I believe that understanding all of this is necessary to explain the first and most important of Splatoon's themes: The positive power of pop culture and self-expression.

Splatoon heavily encourages that the player uses its system to express themselves. Aside from having character creation, there is an emphasis on fashion, both in the culture of the inklings themselves and in the gameplay proper, with the player having access to a wide variety of clothes, headwear and shoes with which to accessorize their characters. It might be easy, perhaps even tempting, to read this in a cynical manner and characterize inklings as a bunch of shallow trend-chasers, slaves to consumerist fads built to wring as much cash out of them as possible. And this interpretation is, in all honesty, valid, but it's certainly not a philosophical standpoint that Splatoon itself agrees with. The game encourages mixing and experimenting with its fashions, but all of that fashion is bought with a currency that you earn by playing the multiplayer game, which in-universe is explained to be a kind of competitive shooting sport, not unlike paintball, that seems to be the hyperfixation of every single inkling teen like the player character. It's a bit hard to read the game's take on fashion as cynical when you literally earn money by doing something you were not only going to do anyway but were also actively seeking out and enjoying. The multiplayer mode itself is also encouraging self-expression, in a way, due to there being a wide variety of weapons available, all of which feel distinct and unique, allowing the player find the ones they like the most and use only those. This isn't "do tireless work to keep spending money", it's "do the things you like to get the things you like." And I feel like that is a very clear subversion of consumerist culture, unless you feel like pointing out that Splatoon itself is something you have to spend money on to play and therefore it is inherently a part of consumerist culture, in which case, alright then, Holden Caulfield, don't you have anything better to do?

Moving on, there is also a massive focus on music in the setting, with a lot of different fictional bands, all of which sound completely unlike each other. Crucially, the "pop music" in Splatoon is not as heavily standardized as our own pop music is, in Inkopolis everything from the Bottom Feeders' Celtic rock to Chirpy Chips' chiptune to Diss-Pair's... whatever they are, can find mainstream success and popularity. Perhaps the most telling sign that Splatoon thinks music is important is that all of the most important characters are artists, from Callie and Marie to Pearl and Marina and even the antagonist himself, DJ Octavio.

That said, there is a very important distinction to be made here. In an interview with Famitsu from 2015, series art director Seita Inoue stated that the music that plays during the singleplayer levels is composed by DJ Octavio and his subordinates, and that "it’s like the Octo side broadcasts their music in order to control the many Octarians.” When this is combined with the fact that DJ Octavio uses a pair of sunglasses to brainwash Callie, I think it's clear that the true face of his villainy is shown. DJ Octavio isn't just the antagonist because he's the final boss, but because he takes music and fashion, which the game has established as ways in which to express personal freedom, and repurposes them as tools of control and oppression. DJ Octavio is literally the antithesis of Inkling society and Inkling values.

There is one final point I want to make, but it requires delving into Octo Expansion a bit to explore, so we'll start that now. Octo Expansion is the paid singleplayer DLC for Splatoon 2, adding a pretty sizable new story campaign. In this new story, the player takes the role of an Octoling (the Octarian equivalent of an Inkling, though I will be using two terms rather interchangeably in the rest of the essay) who wakes up in an underground subway with no memories. Here, they meet Cap'n Cuttlefish, who explains that they had been in a fight with him and Agent 3 before all three of them got swept away to the locale they are now in. As Agent 3 has gone missing, Cap'n Cuttlefish teams up with our amnesiac player character to find a way out of the subway, giving them the nickname Agent 8 in the process. Along the way, the two of them end up coming into contact with Pearl and Marina, the previously mentioned music duo, who resolve to help Agent 8 and Cap'n Cuttlefish escape. A lot of things happen between the start and beginning of the story, but I want to focus on the most important revelation: Marina is revealed to have been a high-ranking member of the Octarian military who deserted after the final battle between Agent 3 and DJ Octavio in Splatoon 1, and was inspired to become an artist after hearing the Squid Sisters perform their iconic hit song Calamari Inkantation, the very same song that was stated to have inspired Agent 8's desertion as well. Calamari Inkantation was always played up as being a very special song, as said by Marina herself: "Once our souls have been freed, there's no way we can continue to live under the oppression of Octarian society."

So at this point, it's not even subtextual but literally textual, Splatoon sincerely believes that music has liberating properties, able to make people realize that they're being held back by societal structures and also gain the willpower to break free of those shackles. The lines are very clearly drawn here: In Inkopolis music and fashion are ways in which people express themselves and therefore it is an idyllic and diverse place, but Octarian society is an oppressive dystopia where these things are used to control the populace. To really hammer the point home, in the final battle of Octo Expansion, in which the very fate of the world hangs in the balance, the day is saved by Pearl and Marina (and Agent 8) working together and combining their talents and technology to destroy the giant superweapon threatening their home. The world is literally saved by a pair of musicians. It doesn't get more explicit than that.

There are two more themes I think Splatoon play with, but to a much lesser extent than the one previously mentioned. The first of these is the importance of moving on and not being stuck in the past. This is an explicit character trait in both of the central antagonists. DJ Octavio, who was the leader of the Octarians in the Great Turf Wars a hundred years ago, has been holding a grudge against the inklings for all this time when he could have been focusing on trying to improve his people’s living conditions, or even broker peace with the Inklings, who clearly don't have an issue with a bunch of Octolings running around following the events of Octo Expansion. The second case study is the antagonist from Octo Expansion, Commander Tartar. An ancient AI built by a human scientist before their extinction to pass on their knowledge to whatever species inherited the world to come, Commander Tartar fails this mission because it holds humans on such a high pedestal that it sees the flaws of the Inklings and Octarians as proof they aren't worthy to pass the torch to, and resolves to wipe them both out and create its own "perfect species" instead. Additionally, I think it's worth mentioning that the weapon it plans do this is with is a repurposed statue resembling a Greek marble bust, a relic of the past that becomes a literal metaphor for how Commander Tartar's mindset is destructive.

The second of these themes is the recurring motif that despite all of their differences and their conflicts Inklings and Octarians become complete when working together. The first sign of this is their opposite traits as species, Inklings are energetic, flighty and have a short attention span while Octarians are more serious, work-focused and obedient. It's pretty clear that both could stand to learn from each other's positive traits, and a bit of dialogue from Marina in Octo Expansion implies that she hopes as much. Off the Hook themselves are also an example of this theme in action, Pearl had trouble finding herself as an artist and was not doing very well before meeting Marina, and it's through Pearl that Marina gains the chance to follow her dream, and their cooperation makes them so successful that they become Inkopolis' number one artists. This theme is also a part of the final battle of Octo Expansion, as mentioned earlier, as it is the cooperation of Inklings and Octarians that saves the day.

If there's anything to take away from this overly wordy essay, it's this: Splatoon wants you to know that there is no shame in enjoying "shallow" pop culture, that there is meaning even in things not deemed "high culture". Splatoon wants you to know that the value of something lies not in the value of its production, but in what it expresses and the joy it brings to the people observing it, and the people making it.

Because to Splatoon, these simple things have the power to unite, to free us, and ultimately to save the world.

And personally? I think that's a pretty worthwhile message.

[dustyhyena]

4. one chance?

hi anon! i forgot to respond to this but i took the idea and ran with it :] here goes!

--

4. one chance

–

"No see, it's like this." Oliver's voice was gentle as Toffee handed their controller over to him. He was always better with getting a handle on things, especially when it came to video games. That's something they all learned during their time on the surface.

Although it hasn't been long, they've nearly gotten the hang of how everything operated up top compared to the domes. A large part of it was thanks to the help of Felix, who was watching from their spot behind the couch the two octolings were sitting on. They were taking a break from their work to destress, but even then, Oli could see the inkling nervously drumming their fingers on the couch frame. Usually, Toffee would notice and offer them a spot on the couch, but she seemed to be preoccupied with staring at the TV, even as the character on the screen stood idly.

Oliver couldn't blame either of them. There had been a certain tenseness that hung over the room ever since Cas left that afternoon. He'd been trying not to let it tug too much at him, but he was worried for her.

It'd been months since they last saw Sixer, who now went by "Eight". Completely out of the blue and by chance, in Inkopolis Square, they saw her surrounded by complete strangers. Their reunion was heartfelt, don't get him wrong. But something had fucked with Eight's memory prior.

She didn't remember them at first. Oliver remembered the brief panic flashing over Cas's eyes when the very name she'd given to Eight was only met with confusion. It took a lot of reminders to jog her memory and they were able to reconcile, but who knows what else she forgot? And how would Cas take that?

The impromptu date Cas set out for with Eight was a heat of the moment decision, sprouting from the slow burning feelings she had for the other and the fear of losing her again. Oliver knew this and tried to talk her out of it, or at least get her to stop and think about it. But as usual, Cas was set on doing things her way, and assured the group that things would be fine either way. If it didn't work out, then it didn't work out. But she wasn't gonna let a chance like this slip by again.

Dumbass, Oliver thought to himself. Whether it was to Cas or himself, he didn't dwell on. He just hoped Cas knew what she was doing.

"...so, that ground-pound actually gives you an extra boost when jumping and you need to use it here. You just press these buttons…"

Toffee seemed to snap back into reality suddenly. "- oh! Sorry, I was zoned out for a little…"

"No worries," Oliver replied, noting Toffee's hesitance to look at him or the TV screen.

"...hey. I'm sure Cas is fine out there. She said herself that it was just to try things out. If they don't work out, we can go from there."

"I know, but-!" Toffee started abruptly, squeezing her arm nervously. "I'm worried…!"

"I-I'm sure it's fine…!" Felix's voice piped up from behind them, prompting the two to turn around. "Besides, what really is the worst that could happen?"

The inkling's nervous chuckle was cut short by the sharp noise of the front door being slammed open, nearly startling them into shock. The other two turned around to see who was standing in the door.

Of course, it was none other than Cas, staring ahead with an icy gaze and angry tears in her eyes. Her tentacles were void of their usual red hue, instead replaced with the yellow coloration and dotted with neon blue spots as they curled in and out.

"Cas-?!" Toffee was quick to jump to her side, hands hovering and unsure what to do. "What happened?!"

Cas grit her teeth.

"I had one chance."

The mood in the room grew somber.

"I had one chance, and I fucked it up for good."

[theashemarie]

Riding Out the Wave Ch. 3 - Pearlina Fic

↪Read chapter 1 here: [Adventures in Babysitting]

↪Chapter 2: [How We Got Here]

↪Chapter 4: [Morning Breakfast]

Crossposted: [AO3] [FFN]

Ch. 3: Gulf Space

The boat is quiet, and that’s worrying. Pearl and Marina sit with feet between them, with backs against the side. Dualies and Brella are huddled together near the front, and there’s a tension that’s strung tight between them, all four of them. The reality of what’s happened is finally sinking in, and Pearl wishes she could read Marina’s mind because Marina is being so, so quiet; she refuses to look at Pearl, and they haven’t touched since they separated from their unfortunately timed kiss. Pearl realizes now that that was probably a bad idea, all things considered—a very desperate (though not very hot and heavy, if you ask her) and sudden kiss in full view of a bunch of cameras—but she’s also not one for thought, especially when it comes to... romance.

(And wasn’t that romantic? Covered in ink, both their own and the enemy’s, breathing labored, Marina with that crazed, battle-look in her eyes. It certainly was hot, but not exactly romantic. Definitely not one of the dozens of ways that Pearl imagined it would happen, late at night when she was lying in bed. No sirree, those were safe, coffee shop affairs, or perhaps stage fever that resulted in a deep dip, Marina’s body cradled by Pearl’s arms. Not... during Salmon Run.)

Marina has one of the cameras that Pearl beaned in her lap and she’s got it cracked open. It looks fine to Pearl, but Marina keeps tutting as she digs around in the wires, searching for the short in order to fix it. She mutters about “unnecessary property damage” every now and then, and it’s pointed, so pointed that Pearl feels defensive. She wants to say that it shouldn’t be surprising, considering how much she used to break in her punk days and still breaks now (accidentally), but she’s also still reeling from the kiss so she just keeps her mouth shut.

There’s no sign of Grizz in their earpieces, so Pearl halfheartedly hopes that maybe the photos are stored locally in a memory card or something, not beamed back to whatever cave Mr. Grizz lives in. That’ll make the next few weeks a lot easier—she doesn’t want to have to bribe Grizz to keep the photos a secret, but she’ll do it if she has to. If Marina wants her to. She imagines that this whole thing won’t reflect on them... in a desired way.

But then, she doesn’t care, she realizes as she watches Marina let out a small aha! as she finds what she’s looking for. She dips those long fingers deep into the body of the camera and Pearl watches her dig around, feeling a bit uncomfortable. She forces herself to look away.

“There,” Marina says, and she screws the back into place with a screwdriver. Pearl is beginning to think that she takes that thing with her everywhere. “Good as new.”

“Any memory card?” Pearl asks, a little petulant.

Marina holds her hand up, and Pearl is happy to see a small black card caught between two of her fingers. “Whoops,” Marina sing-songs as she flicks her wrist, sending the card over her shoulder, over the side of the boat, and into the water.

“Yo, awesome!” Pearl hisses, and her impulsiveness gets the better of her as she jumps up to lay a kiss on Marina’s cheek. Marina, used to this thoughtlessness, quickly cuts her off, pushes her back before her lips can land, and she puts a finger against Pearl’s lips.

“Ssh,” Marina commands, and Pearl pouts her lips out against the finger.

Marina replaces the first camera with the second. Her deft fingers get to work quickly, and as Pearl watches her, she says: “You know that we’re gonna have to do this again, right?”

Pearl is a little too love struck by just how beautiful Marina’s hair is as she leans over the camera, so all she can think to say is, “Huh?”

Marina tuts under her breath and reaches further into the camera, going deep into the wires. “We’re getting rid of the evidence. That includes all the pictures.”

“Tch, whatevs.” Pearl waves a hand. “Like Grizz needs us to advertise. He has so many freelancers he doesn’t know what to do with them.”

Marina doesn’t answer, but Pearl sees her free hand tighten a little around the camera’s spherical body. “We agreed—”

Pearl sighs and puts a hand on Marina’s knee. “And your word is your vow. Yeah, I got it. You’re so stuffy sometimes, you know that? Is it a Marina thing or a...” Pearl glances around to make sure they’re not being listened to. “Y’know, an octoling thing?”

Marina finally looks up from the camera and she lets her head fall back against the side of the boat. “You read my file. You don’t get as high as I did without being reliable.”

“And here I thought it was your good looks. And your huge brain,” Pearl adds when she sees Marina roll her eyes.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Marina declares, and she dips back into the camera. It’s fixed in no time, and Pearl lets the silence sit, mostly because she can’t think of a possible answer to that.

+

They bid Dualies and Brella farewell at the bonus window. Both young inklings agree to keep what they saw a secret, which makes Marina look so relieved that it brings Pearl pause. She hadn’t spared the whole thing much thought after deciding to bribe Mr. Grizz if she needs to, but that would explain Marina’s silence on the boat.

Pearl can’t pretend to completely understand Marina, and that hurts. A lot. Sure, she knows how Marina ticks most of the time, but she also doesn’t understand a lot of her past, a lot of the stuff that put her together and could pull her apart. Pearl is an open book, a simple story: a rich girl from an affluent family, spoiled to the core, but with a heart of gold and a penchant for rebellion. There’s not much mystery to her, other than one small stint with heterosexuality that she doesn’t ever want to talk about, but Marina? Marina is smoke; Marina is a tight, strained smile; Marina is a past that is full to the brim of dark things that she’ll never talk about. No matter how much Pearl dares pry, Marina will never talk about certain things, so Pearl will never know her completely.

And, for the most part, she’s okay with that. She may have grown up sheltered, but she also knows that there are some things you can’t know, some things you can’t push people on. Because, people will bend until they break, but some things cause stress fractures that spread. This is one of Marina’s fracture points.

That makes it so much harder though. They walk toward the studio, where a car is waiting to pick them up, and Pearl wants to grab Marina’s hand. She’s been waiting so long to do it, and now she practically has permission, but she’s also painfully aware of that relieved look, that you wouldn’t understand, the countless times Marina has pressed her headphones tighter to her head to hide her ears, and she realizes just how much attention that would get them. Already, people are noticing them, rushing forward to ask for pictures, and Marina is slowly pulling her face into the public one she uses everywhere.

Pearl keeps her hands to herself, grimaces in the pictures, and tries to ignore the giant hole that she feels between herself and Marina.

+

They need to talk. But, when they eventually get back to the apartment, Marina squirrels herself into her room. She spares a few seconds to say, “I need to think,” and stoops down to press a kiss to Pearl’s head. It’s chaste, like a mother to a child, and Pearl is stricken immediately. Does Marina already regret it? Did Pearl already screw it up? Is the gulf of their pasts too much? Marina’s face reveals nothing as Pearl forces herself not to say anything, to smile a strained smile, and she disappears behind her door.

Pearl plays a violent video game in the living room with the television turned all the way up. She punches and kicks, throws the controller when she dies, hugs a pillow close when she feels tears hot behind her eyes. She’s not sure exactly what to do, but she feels like she needs to do something. She knows that letting Marina think is good, but she also knows that thinking too long is bad; thinking too long leads to second thoughts, second guessing, and she doesn’t want Marina to back out of something they both clearly want.

Pearl wants to do this right. Marina feels like forever, and Pearl doesn’t want to screw that up. Marina is forever—she’s symbolic of a future that Pearl never had before, from their shared music career to their shared home, but more than that, she’s Pearl’s best friend and Pearl can’t lose that. In a life full of excess, she’s become used to having everything, and the idea of losing something so precious makes her sick to her stomach.

She hides her face in her knees. On screen, her character does its idle animation, begging input.

+

In the end, she tells herself that she didn’t cry, and she gets up. Her over-large sweatshirt hits her knees as she walks, and she quickly draws a beeline to Marina’s bedroom door so that she can’t second guess herself. She doesn’t go in, doesn’t knock, just listens. There’s some soft lo-fi music playing and Pearl imagines Marina leaning back against her pillows, headphones off, eyes closed, thinking. Or asleep. She never considered that Marina could have simply fallen asleep after such a long, emotional day, but she still has to try. She can’t just let this sit, not with them so close to the precipice, dangling over what could be the happiest moments of their lives. For once, she’s not the one being talked away from the edge.

She sinks to the floor beside the door, like she’s done so many times before. She lets her head loll back, exhausted both because it’s almost midnight and because of the day they had, closes her eyes like she imagines Marina has, and she lets the words fall out.

She’s always been a jabber mouth, but today it’s something else. She says it all, how unsure she’s been, how she’s been so scared, how much Marina means to her. Gone is the yelling, the limb flailing, the Pearl who has to bigger than life. In her place is a quieter, unfamiliar Pearl, one who is small and vulnerable and has no airs to put on. She says things like “I know you’ve been through hell, but I want to make sure that never happens again,” and “I love... having you here. You’ve... changed everything.”

Marina might be asleep. She might not hear any of this, but it feels good to get it out, to breathe it into the world so that Pearl doesn’t have it all inside her anymore, turning everything into mush. Finally, she can begin to harden again, in case everything goes horribly come morning. She has to build herself up from the inside out, in case this was all one big mistake, in case the battle-hardened warrior that she calls a roommate isn’t ready for all of this. In case the kiss was one giant, glaring misstep in their otherwise brilliant partnership.

Before she departs, she stands, staring at the door, and says, “I don’t want to give up on this, but if you want me to, I will.” It’s a small emission, but she wants to give Marina an out; the last thing she wants is Marina to feel pressured into anything.

There’s no reply. Pearl sighs and sinks into her room. Her bed is big, too big she realizes, but she climbs in, lying with her head on the edge of her pillow. The darkness has no substance to it as she stares out, like there’s too much vastness there, like the space between galaxies, the giant spaces of nothing that she imagines the humans once touched. She thinks about them a lot—the humans and their reaching, reaching arms, how much they destroyed to get what they wanted.

She hopes, desperately, that she doesn’t follow in their footsteps.

[thecheapsteaks]

VIDEO GAMES... 2018

2018 was a thing.  It felt like it lasted 2 or 3 years.  It is honestly a bit difficult to track which media I consumed during the year. I'll start pondering a game that I feel like I played last year only for it to dawn on me that, oh, it happened this year.  It makes keeping track of this stuff a bit tricky, honestly.  Anyway, I am still going to try to do that, to get my thoughts in order and let everyone see what I had in mind. I will go over all of the important things needed to survive:  video games, music, anime, and other things.

VIDEO GAMES

Again, it's a bit tricky to remember what even came the hell out this year game wise. I am not going to rank things, because I suck at ranking things and also comparing a lot of the things I played this year is like comparing apples and termites.  I'm just going to make a good effort to go over some nice highlights of the year.

Bayonetta 1 and 2

Bayonetta is a game series I have been interesting in playing forever, but just haven't gotten around to due to circumstances despite it being released on multiple systems I owned.  I passed it on the PS3, couldn't afford to buy it when it was out on the WiiU, so when it came out on the Switch I had to give it a shot, and it was worth it. Admittedly, I sort of sucked at it (I take a ton of damage playing games, which isn't the best for getting high ranks) but I still enjoyed it and am glad that I played both of them (except for that one part in the first game in the angel territory where you fight those thunder and fire claw dudes who are immune to witch time, they can eat my ass).  The characters are fun, the over the top action and enemies are neat, and Bayonetta is just too damn cool.  I'm definitely interested in the third one and looking forward to seeing where the sequel goes. 

(I had forgotten this game had came out this year, it was in February, goddamn how long was this year)

Kirby Star Allies

I will admit, I am heavily biased towards Kirby to a fault.  If a Kirby game makes a reference to a past Kirby game I will gleefully clap as I notice it like a trained seal, and Kirby Star Allies, serving as a Kirby anniversary title, plays into that nostalgia hard.  Compared to the other modern 3D Kirby games (Return to Dreamland and past) I feel that the single player experience is on the weaker end, admittedly. The main campaign, while satisfying, blazes by quick, and the game does re-use boss styles a lot, which is a shame since the past few Kirby games had some very satisfying bosses.  Fortunately the extra content, including the post game modes and extra DLC support, was a marvelous way to keep the game running way after its release.  The nods and references to past games worked wonderfully for me, and it was admittedly great to see long dormant characters such as the animal buddies, Gooey, and Adeline/Ribbon return as playable characters.  The game's single player campaigns, both the initial story mode and the DLC conclusion “Heroes in Another Dimension” have very satisfying conclusions, and the challenge offered by the obligatory Arena mode is wild.  Really, I just love Kirby, and this game is a nice love letter to Kirby.  I have no idea where the game will even go after the plot line from this, but I am ready for the ride.

Octo-Expansion

Being able to play as an Octoling was definitely a long anticipated update for this game, and the way they were integrated into the game was amazing.  The initial Octo-Expansion trailer oozed almost rude amounts of style, and getting a whole new bonus single player campaign made purchasing an expansion worth it.  The additional stages were absolutely geared for challenge, and I don't think I will go back to finish the ones I didn't finish any time soon, but they had so many cool new implementations and spins on the Splatoon formula.  Splatoon on its own would make a decent game if it were just the single player campaign or multiplayer, so having both just makes for a nice, complete experience.  The whole climactic sequence, from finally completing the challenge of the subway to escaping to freedom, has that absurd escalation I just love in video games too. Also I love my stylish Octoling.

Kemono Friends Picross

Somehow I made it so long without ever playing Picross, but this finally brought me into it.  I have no idea how this combination came to be, but it finally got me into a fun puzzle system and I enjoy it. Somehow I have put in nearly as many hours on this game as I have Star Allies.  A lot of it does come from having the game paused as I idly go through puzzles while working on other projects, but having a game that does not demand a ton is pretty nice and fits with my gaming and lifestyle.  I'm looking for friends.

WarioWare Gold

WarioWare is one of my favorite video game franchises and a bit of an underdog, I feel.  The original Mega Microgames was my favorite experience on the GBA, with its unique game play mixed with a silly style.  The games that followed in the series for the DS and Wii were fun, but Made in Wario on the WiiU changed from the Microgame based high score hunting style to a collection of modes and games based on the WiiU game pad.  There were some bright ideas in there that might have done better as their own eShop titles, and the shift towards multiplayer games didn't quite fit as well with my style of gaming.  After that there was silence from the Wario Ware camp until the announcement and release of WarioWare Gold, which like Star Allies is a celebration of the series's past.  It was fun to have another Microgame experience that blended all of the weirdness and frantic gameplay that made me love the series, with a solid selection of classics built in.  It even has fully voiced cutscenes (an expansion on Smooth Moves's narration for each different style) that are oddly charming in a Saturday morning way.  It was good to have this series back, and I hope to see more unique takes on Microgames in the future.

Katamari Damacy Reroll

The original Katamari was a quirky game I bought on a whim back in the PS2 days that was sold to me on its weird look, style, and nice price point.  I enjoyed the first so much, and We <3 Katamari is one of my favorite games of all time.  Having a nicely touched up port on the Switch was welcome.  Somehow, despite having not played the original or its sequel in decades, I took to it like I had just played it yesterday, rolling up incredible Katamaris like a pro.  The original does have some warts in its gameplay that the sequels ironed out marvelously, and the dual stick controls do bother my thumbs at times, but it's still so satisfying to play and it's great that this game has a new chance.  Please go by this one, it's so enjoyable, but also because I want them to port We <3 Katamari so badly so you can all play that and see Katamari perfection.

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate

Smash Bros games seem to live on hype.  I will admit I never expected to see a Smash Bros game so early in the Switch.  It doesn't even feel that long since Smash 4 came out!  So having a trailer in the beginning of the year and a release in the same year was a bit astounding.  There was lots of drama and intrigue with leaks, character additions, and whatnot, and even if I am sad for some that didn't make it (pour one out for Ashley and Shadow, please) having every character available, along with some fun new additions, is definitely nice.  The spirits mode is a nice twist on the event mode, and the rebuffs to classic are nice.  Really, the best part is just being able to play Smash again with my pals, try out all of the characters, and just enjoy it with everyone.  I look forward to the DLC, and that we get Banjo and Crash to create some sort of bizarre realization of every ones mid-2000s dream game.  It was a fun ride leading up to it, and I look forward to playing it more with pals in the new year.

STUFF I STILL NEED TO FINISH

There are some games I got really recently that I still need to finish as gifts from the Steam Sale and whatnot.  I have right near the end of December received Celeste, Donut Country, and I finally got Cuphead thanks to the kindness of friends.  These will be some nice games to get me started on the new year even if one of them is from last year. At some point I may go back to Hollow Knight and Dark Souls, although admittedly the requirements for the true ending of the former are a bit of a turn off and I am having a bit of difficulty getting into the game play, controls, and progression style of the latter, but who knows!  I am also intrigued and interested in Yokai Watch 3, Yoshi's Crafted World, in the near future, and hope to see some nice news on Animal Crossing. Lastly, may Platinum Games heed my calls and give the world a Wario World sequel where Wario wrestles God or something in the pursuit of money.  Amen.

Also I still need to finish Persona 5.  Really at this point I’m just doing it for Futaba. She’s the best.

Next up, I will write about my favorite music from the year, as well as cartoons and film, which admittedly I have not gotten as much into this year!

[citrus-feline]

So I know what being sanitized is but noticed that places you can look it up like the wiki don’t go deep into detail about the specifics, so for my own pleasure I am going to write it out here (and maybe help others understand it along with myself).

Being sanitized is, in canon, what happens when you are covered in the “primordial ooze” that Tartar created.

As Inkipedia describes it: “These Octarians have been sterilized with a type of primordial ooze created by Commander Tartar. The process of sanitizing results in the Octarian losing all sense of free will, allowing them to be controlled similar to robots as seen with the dialogue from Sanitized Octolings. Marina notes that the sanitized Octarians appear to have no pulse or signs of life.”

Said primordial ooze is, in a sense, what you get from blending up countless Octarian lives into a paste. Like, literally. The best test subjects Tartar could get were all blended up into that ooze and then still living Octarians were “sanitized” in it (implied to be in test tubes from the way you create your characters in Octo Expansion). Tartar killed hundreds if not thousands to get this all, and there’s no telling how long he has been doing it. the 80s / 90s themes in Octo Expansion imply its been a long enough time for society to evolve past those trends; as in a decade or two, possibly longer (as Splatoon is set in the far future; I’m basing these assumptions by comparing Inkling culture to our own. The aesthetics can be completely irrelevant for all its worth).

It’s hard to say how much “ooze” a single Octarian life can give, but based on body size, I’d say it’s probably not that much... The test tube you are shown floating in for character creation has more than enough ooze to be equal to just one or two Octarians, in my opinion.

Look at all of that! There’s no way that isn’t several Octarians! It seems to require quite a lot for being sanitized, even if one might argue that isn’t all primordial ooze based on the bubbles. Perhaps it’s a watered down version or is mixed with some other types of chemicals to contribute to the process? It’s hard to say.

In the original Splatoon and later reinforced by Splatoon 2′s single player, it is pretty obvious that the large majority of Octarians seen are under some type of mind control. In Splatoon 2, Callie was under the same control. The difference with this and sanitized Octarians is that those under control by DJ Octavio seem to still have personalities and some sort of free will, even if it is not very prevalent. The cure to this has been proven to be hearing the Calamari Inkantation, which has shown up in both games and had lots of lore based off of it’s affects on Octarians and Inklings who hear it.

What a powerful thing!! So we have a cure to DJ Octavio’s meddling, which is great and is how Octolings like Marina were able to break free and truly be themselves under no one else’s control. I believe it is mentioned in Octo Expansion that Agent 8 recognizes this song, and it may even be the reason they were able to break free from being sanitized in the first place. It may be safe to assume this happened at the end of Splatoon 2′s single player, but I’m not sure enough to say that with total confidence.

So everything was getting better. But DJ Octavio was far from the biggest threat to Inkling and Octoling lives. He had power to control, but not strip away humanity completely. All he wanted was control fueled by his hatred, but Commander Tartar had WAY more extreme intentions. This is shown pretty strongly with the fact that DJ Octavio used his music and high-tech goggles to control, not something as extreme as blending up Octarians and bathing live ones in what remains. That’s just gruesome. So that hopefully demonstrates just how different the two “evils” are.

As shown in Octo Expansion’s final battle, Commander Tartar looks to destroy the entire world due to his hatred towards Octarians, Inklings, and both societies (Inkling society seems to be focused on here, considering what Commander Tartar says in his speech. But with his treatment of Octarians so far it’s pretty obvious he is fine killing them all as well.) While DJ Octavio’s intentions are definitely NOT good, it is much more tame compared to this.

So that is the motivation. Even using the “best and brightest test subjects”, Commander Tartar is still willing to do this gruesome task.

He believe all evolved lifeforms on the planet where Splatoon takes place are disgusting. The “best” of these disgusting lifeforms isn’t even enough for him to show mercy. He uses it for his benefit, that being his goal to destroy everything. How awful must an evil be to want to destroy everything...

But what exactly HAPPENS to the Octarians sanitized using this “supreme DNA”? We first learned of this with the creator of the music playing the the test facilities throughout Octo Expansion, Dedf1sh.

When sanitized, an Octarian will lose all free will and memory unless it is deeply ingrained (this is usually in reference to music). Dedf1sh was sanitized for reasons not exactly explained, just mentioning in her pursuit of music excellence that she came across the test facilities, and by proxy, Commander Tartar. Tartar’s goal for Octarians too mix into the ooze all seemed to have proficiency in the tests, and Dedf1sh probably wasn’t mixed because her heart was dedicated to music, even after being sanitized. Which is really impressive. She has lost almost all free will, but still somehow retains the drive to make music. So we know that there are circumstances where not all free will and memories can be completely lost, but Dedf1sh is obviously somewhat of an outlier there. No other sanitized Octarians or Octolings seem to have even a portion of their old selves. Dedf1sh and he dedication to her music has carried over, even if it’s just some sort of muscle conditioning. It shows its possible to not be completely gone, but even with this amazing example, she’s still VERY far gone from what can be understood. To retain any of your old self after this process must require outstanding circumstances.

But that aside, Dedf1sh still doesn’t have free will. She may be making music, but it is still all for the benefit of Commander Tartar, even if it may not seem that important. The importance of music and its meanings is one of the biggest themes in the Splatoon series, so there very well could be much more to her and what her music has the power to do.

What is even more worrisome about the products of sanitization is actually brought up by Marina briefly early in Octo Expansion. She mentions the affected Octarians not showing any pulse / sign of life. So are sanitized individuals ACTUALLY dead like Dedf1sh’s name may imply? I hope not. But looking at the facts, I’m going to say... Yes. Most likely. It may be more accurate to say they are undead. Personally, I believe the primordial ooze is like that of a parasite that uses the dead bodies of Octarians to follow Tartar’s will. I have no idea how any of Dedf1sh’s personality, even as small as what is seen, could survive that.

Now... All of the test subjects killed by Tartar had similar intentions, and practically identical skills. The skills are what seem to be what have translated in this mixing of DNA; the skills of battle. But the host body could very well still be a big part of this, as unbelievable as it seems. With different types of Octarians (like Octo Snipers), they still act like they do when not sanitized, generally. Perhaps host bodies can’t go past their physical limitations, even with so much “prime” DNA mixed into them. I doubt all of the ooze used for every creature you battle in Octo Expansion is separated by type of Octarian, so it makes me wonder if the ooze from Octolings are mixed in with other Octarians and that somehow causes unrest. If there is still some sort of sense of self even when being blended, I can’t imagine how awful it would be to be stuck in the mind of a creature that cannot physically do most stuff you could in life. But this is all ramblings. I still believe all individuality is gone when the ooze is made. It is just interesting to consider if maybe that wasn’t the case.

What I really want to know is if sanitized Octarians can be saved. They CAN be saved from mind control like DJ Octavios, but this literally takes away life. Will they just die without the ooze affecting them? Will the host bodies just be left lifeless? That’s my best guess, because HOW could you undo something that is almost certainly death? Perhaps something to do with “respawning” could come into play here if the Splatoon team really wanted to address the sanitized Octarians. What I worry is exactly how that would work. When Inklings and Octolings are splatted, we see little “souls” or “ghosts” rise from their bodies. I think it’s safe to say any creatures turned into ooze cannot be saved, ever, as all remnants of self are gone. But perhaps those like Dedf1sh and other sanitized Octolings who still somehow hold onto their old selves would still be able to come back? It’s hard to say, especially since it seems weird to even attempt to set lore to a game mechanic like respawning. It seems like a stretch, but I wouldn’t doubt the Splatoon team doing it if they really wanted to address this (which I hope they do). If that ever did end up happening, we would have a whole bunch of more implications for simple Turf Wars. I’m not sure Nintendo would be down with something like souls and possibly the afterlife being brought into this all. They can definitely be dark, but that’s kind of a rough topic as it can be associated with religion.

Upon close inspection, it seems that the little “souls” DO rise from splatted sanitized Octolings. That is definitely something to think about! Even being sanitized, Octolings affected STILL wear hypnoglasses, which itself may be a very good way to tell just how strong the minds of Octolings are! Who knows, maybe without the glasses and being washed of the ooze they could “respawn”. A neat thought, as unlikely as it is!

Anyways... I probably have more to say that I can’t think of at the moment. But I just needed to get this all down. I’ve had these thoughts jumbling around for a long time now and usually it helps me focus on other things if I write it down.

[garrettsthings]

Garrett’s Reaction to Nintendo’s E3 2018 Presentation

Hello friends! I’ve made no secret about how hyped I was for Nintendo’s E3 presentation this year and so I’ve decided to write down my reactions to each of the games featured. So here we go:

Daemon X Machina: I’m actually really excited for this. I was never super into the Armored Core games (I’m not sure why since I have an unhealthy love for giant robots), but I think this looks rad. It’s like if Armored Core (yes I know people from that are working on this) was given to Platinum (yes I know nobody from that are working on this). I can’t wait!

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna ~ The Golden Country: This looks cool, but I still need to beat Xenoblade Chronicles 2. But as a side note, Nintendo why do you hate the English dub of this game so much? It’s nowhere close to the worst English voice acting you’ve ever done. Do you remember Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn? Do you remember “To wing brothers! Keep up if you can!”? Because I do! And Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is NOT that bad.

Pokemon Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee: Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to getting the Eevee version but aside from the news about Mew being included in the Pokeball plus, we didn’t learn anything we didn’t already know about these games. This video just served to remind us that the games still existed. Guys, I don’t want to make this whole post be negative, but if you’re going to show us a video for a game we already knew about, it better end with Spider-Man getting beat up by the Sinister Six!

Super Mario Party: I haven’t played a Mario Party game in a very long time (unless the top 100 minigames one counts) but this does look cool. The tank game that requires two Switches makes me nervous as a single player gamer though.

Fire Emblem Three Houses: Okay, here we go! THIS is what I came for! While we’re not given much in the way of story or explanation, the game looks great! Having a player avatar (though I hope he or she is not a silent protagonist) is always welcome, and the having an army at your back had my jaw on the floor. Not to mention, we finally get a female Lord (ten bucks says that’s not her class) who can use axes! I’m just praying the game doesn’t move too far away from the best parts of the last two games. I want my supports and romances!

Fortnite: I have no interest in this game, but I’m happy for the people who were asking for this. Who knows, I might even give it a try. It’s not like it’ll cost me anything.

Indie Games: I’m not super into indie games so I was pretty meh on this segment. I will say that watching the Treehouse play Overcooked 2 later was a lot of fun though.

Octopath Traveler: Dude I LOVED the demo for this game and now you’re telling me there’s another one coming out IN TWO DAYS!? I don’t know what I did to make the developers of this game like me so much, but clearly I need to figure out what it is and then just do it constantly.

Starlink Battle For Atlas: I literally heard about this game for the first time yesterday. I have no idea what it is or what it’s about aside from space battles, but I love me some Star Fox and that’s enough to intrigue me into looking closer.

Arena of Valor: This is another game I’ve never heard of until now. Looks very Diablo-esque which is fine, but not my thing.

Minecraft: I could have sworn this was out for the Switch already. Oh well. Again, not my thing, but I’m happy for those who do like it.

Sushi Striker: Played the demo and I absolutely loved it. I pre-ordered it on May 26 and I’m still waiting for it to start shipping. The things I do for free shipping I tell you...

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle Donkey Kong DLC: Yet another game I just realized I need to play more before I get some really cool looking DLC for it, lol.

Pixark: See my reaction to Minecraft above.

Just Dance 2019: ... reeeeeeally not my thing.

Dragonball Fighterz: I’m not a big fighting game fan, but once again, I know there were people waiting for this game to come to Switch and I’m happy for them.

Splatoon 2 Octoling DLC: As someone who loves the lore of Splatoon, this DLC has me tempted to actually get Splatoon 2 while I still don’t need to pay to play online.

Captain Toad Treasure Tracker: Ooooh.. I LOVE Captain Toad. I might need to get this one. Maybe the 3DS version. I prefer that console for games that rely heavily on touch controls.

Crash Bandicoot: Blah blah blah not my thing, blah blah happy for those who like it.

Ninjala: Um... what is this glorious looking thing, and why am I only learning about it now?

Carcassonne: *puts on glasses and gestures to this game as if it were a butterfly* Is this Settlers of Catan?

The rest of this montage except TWEWY and Mario Tennis: I’ll just save us all some time. None of these are my things, but if they are yours, congratulations.

TWEWY: Oh you better believe I’m getting this! I just hope it doesn’t force us into using touch controls.

Mario Tennis: I liked the demo but I didn’t love it (translation: I got my ass kicked online and I’m still sulking). I don’t know if I’ll get the game.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: I’m only a casual fan of Smash, but I can certainly understand the hype for this game. Even I’m salivating at that Ridley trailer. Still, we didn’t need Sakurai to walk us through every single character. That chewed up a lot of time that could have been used for something else.

Overall, while I felt this presentation was the weakest of the big three this year. I still enjoyed it. While I’m disappointed there was no Bayonetta 3 or Metroid Prime 4, we still got plenty of good stuff. Honestly, Fire Emblem was all I needed and I got it. And let’s not forget, Nintendo has a history of announcing new stuff in the days following its E3 Direct. I wouldn’t be surprised if we got a weird and wonderful little new IP announced either tomorrow or Thursday.

What did you think of Nintendo’s presentation? Sound off in replies or by reblogging.