#i had no idea they were the same perosn.

[storm-driver]

realising i hosted a baldesion arsenal run in final fantasy xiv, for the same artist who drew temmie from undertale, is perhaps the wildest thing ive been told i did this year.

[emiwrites3reads]

I saw a clip of Neil doijg kiss marry kill, and it gave me a short fic idea. Tav, who I’m calling Raven in this is from our universe. Astarion knows this and she is telling him about it and the game kiss marry kill comes up.

Kiss, marry, kill

Astarion x reader/tav

- no smut, just fluff.

———

It was a cold, chilly night. Raven had never camped before and now, she had camped more than ever. The ground wasn’t the worst, but her fear of bugs did keep her up some nights, thinking a minor itch was a tick or some curious spider. Did the others think like that?

She got up and out of her bed roll, noticing astarion was gone. She stood up and walked over to where scratch had been sleeping, right under the canopy of a tree. She petted his head and looked up seeing the pale elf returning from the forest.

“Oh. I didn’t expect you to be up” he said slightly startled.

“Couldn’t sleep” she said, pausing from petting scratch but the white dog whined in return. “God he reminds me of my dog. I miss her.”

“What is this… other universe your from like?” He said coming over, and leaning agasint a tree. His eyes were fixed on her, instead of the usual farting around, as if he was a feral cat. He seemed to of gotten more comfortable in her presence.

“It’s… extremely different. There’s so much to explain that you wouldn’t even believe” she said as she sat down next ti the dog.

“Well, then try” he said.

“Uhh well, here, the idea of fun and free time is different. It’s going to the tavern, reading, or doing something outside” she started. Astarion moved to sit by her. “There, sure some people do that, but… there’s video games, television, cell phones, board games, and a lot more.”

“I only understood like half of that.” He stated.

“I figured, see?” She chuckled.

“You coukd show me” he said.

“A lot of it we can’t do here, hell, even board games. I mean there’s these stupid little games like spin the bottle, truth or dare, and kiss marry kill, but it’s not entertaining if there’s only two people.” She chuckled.

“Well, kiss marry kill sounds fun” astarion grinned. “Does it involve murder?”

She laughed, shaking her head slightly in disbelief, “no it’s, of a group of people, you choose who you would kiss, who you would marry, and who you would kill. You don’t actually do it.”

“Well that’s stupid if you don’t actually get to do it” he said frustrated. Raven fell silent for a moment as she turned to the camp, the rest of their companions sleeping so soundly, it was a rare sight. The peace.

“Okay okay, let’s just… try it then” she said. “And this is all just for fun, so out of our companions, who would you kiss, marry, and kill.”

“Can I choose the same perosn for two of them?” He asked.

“Nope” she said.

“Fine” he scoffed, “well I’ll obviously kill Gale. That’s easy no doubt.”

“You really don’t like Gale do you?” Raven said, glancing at the sleeping wizard, oblivious to the vampire talking about murdering him.

“And… we’ll I certainly can’t kiss Karlach, so, I’ll pick Wyll” he saidz

“Wyll? Why Wyll?” She leaned back against the white dog.

“Heroic types can be annoying but he seems like a good kisser” he hummed.

Raven showed fake offense, “what? I wasn’t good enough?”

“Oh hush, you didn’t let me get to marry” he grinned. “Obviously I’ll choose Lae’zael.”

“Well then I’m marrying Gale, kissing wyll, and killing Lae’zel” she sajd.

“Really? Gale?” He said, “then I guess I’ll have to rethink marrying you.”

“What happened to Lae’zel” she said

“You killed her!” He said before Raven and astarion started laughing.

Raven stood up, “I’m gonna get some sleep. Maybe I’ll be able to show you my universe sometime.”

“Maybe” astarion said, watching Raven walk away and lay back down.

[disciple-of-frost]

Holy Shit, Oh My God, This Is a Long Ass Lore Post

Alrighty then. Thank you to @hikari-ni-naritai for the absolute plethora of questions. To be honest a lot of these are questions I never really considered before, so I gotta do a bit of digging around in my brain meat.

2.) How did they acquire their Echo?

I never thought of this before, but I now want Ishi to have acquired it after going on her investigation in Kugane to find her parents. She looked/asked around for an Auri couple for what felt like an enternity and one night as she went to sleep after a particularly fruitless day of questioning she had an incredibly vivid dream. A woman's voice, stars raining down from the sky, etc. The next day after walking through the Ijin District she witnessed a Garlean accosting some random passerby and she experienced her first Echo vision. She saw the same Garlean accusing her parents of espionage and took them into custody. The only lead she had after that was that they were taken somewhere called Castrum Abania.

---

3.) Does their Echo function like it does in the MSQ? Or is there a twist to it? 

I think Ishi's Echo would function like the one we have in game for the most part. But, I LOVE the idea that the Echo allows the character to see the different battle mechanics that we, the player, are able to see and that is why our WoL is so hard to beat in combat.

---

5.) Where are they from? What was their childhood like?

Ishi grew up in The Tail Mountains, the home of the Angura tribe, with her mother (Veda), father (Ashish), and step sister (Willow). She was a bit of a know it all and super arrogant when she was little because all of the adults in her life would heap praise on her and call her a child prodigy because of her natural aptitude for magic. After her parents found Willow abandoned and took her in she mellowed out a bit, but was still a bit prideful. She didn't have many friends because of her attitude, but the one friend she did have, Varun, saw the good in her and he was the only person she could be completely vulnerable around.

 ---

7.) How did they deal with Haurchefant’s death? 

.:Stars Align:. Ishi didn't personally know him that well. The only frame of reference she had for his character was through U'tala and how his death impacted her.

.:Diamond Aegis:. Ishi thought of him like another brother, very similar to Varun, both men being very bubbly and their strong willingness to defend the innocent. When he died she was devastated, but she didn't have time to mourn him properly so she was fairly cold and distant, she cut herself off from her emotions to an extant in order to continue on with the pursuit of Thordan.

---

11.) Were they more sympathetic to the dragons, Ishgardians, neither or both? 

100% sympathetic to the dragons. In my .:Stars Align:. timeline she straight up joined the heretics because Ysayle showed her the truth to the Holy See's transgressions. Though she did come to the conclusion that it was wrong that the innocents of Ishgard were going to be the ones to pay for the consequences of their ancestors deeds and that the Church was content with that if it meant Thordan stayed the Arch Bishop.

---

13.) Are they close with any of the other Scions? Who do they get along with the best? 

Ishi get's along with basically all of the Scions, but she is closest to Y'shtola, G'raha, and Alisaie. Y'shtola she sees as an academic rival and love's having intellectual conversation with her. G'raha is her platonic soulmate, they bring out best in each other. Alisaie is her pupil, in my canon Ishi was the one to teach her Red Magic, with X'rhun's help of course, put Ishi was her primary teacher.

---

17.) Who is their favorite Alliance leader? Who do they get along with the best out of them? 

I'm just gonna say that anytime I see Aymeric pop up on screen I act like a giddy school girl and leave it at that.

---

19.) What do they think of the Heaven’s Ward? 

Bastards, the lot of them. Thordan's perosnal goon squad and nothing more.

---

23.) Are there any side quest storylines that you’re particularly fond of or think of as being canon to your WoL’s experiences? 

The Hildebrand Quests are all canon for Ishi. I used to be of the opinion that the quests were too silly, but my partner and I did them all together and I was able to see the heart in them and have fun with the silliness.

---

29.) Did your WoL suspect anything was amiss with Urianger or the Crystal Exarch? Did they feel betrayed? Upset? When the truth finally emerged? 

She believed Urianger up until she overheard the argument between him and Y'shtola, if Y'shtola was able to tell something was off then it warranted concern. She even opened the door and joined in on the conversation too, if this concerned her safety and the safety of the group then she felt she should be privy to any information Urianger had.

The Exarch was a little more complicated, though Ishi did have her suspicions that he was in fact G'raha Tia she didn't push him on the matter. Hells, the last time they interacted she didn't even know if G'raha saw her as anything more than a work colleague or that he cared enough about her to keep secrets from her. So her initial interactions with him were very professional, but through his actions she could see that The Exarch was a genuinely good person. When she saw that she was right about The Exarch and G'raha being the same person it initially hurt, this person she cared about lied about who he was so she wouldn't try to stop him from killing himself to save everyone, to save people he would never get the chance to know.

---

31.) What were their first impressions of Hien? 

Ishi thought Hien was going to be another super serious noble who only cared about his royal duty, but seeing his warmth, kindness, and playful banter with Yugiri and Gosetsu made her reconsider that stance.

[ancha-aus]

Omg yes More lore!!

OKAY! I love the masks?! That is amazing?!

I love that they went for Owl for Nightmare and the idea that the mask was purposely designed with having in mind that Nightmare was not suposed to grow up?

That is just an extra kick.

But also that it was designed to be sweet and shy and innocent. To be small and to be seen as approchable. Really sells the fact that the twins were raised with very specific goals in mind.

I just imagine the twins getting the mask and at first both likign Nightmare's more because it is cute and looks nice!

But then later. When growing up and in their teens years both liking Dream's more.

Dream would over time see what his mash symbolises and be so proud of it. Like yes. He will be strong and is determined to be the bes tleader. (maybe phoenix after all? Mostly because of the whole rising from the ashes kinda deal? And the ritual was meant to have a death happen. It was kind alike Dream would be reborn by the death of his brother.)

And can also imagine that over time Nightmare would look at his own mask. and only see the reminder of all he lost.

Also yes. All the guys get cat like masks :D Nightmare just likes them and is proud to give them.

I lvoe that Ccino got his so early. The trust in it. and Ccino would know how special it is and how RARE it is for non-royal people to have these type of things. Meanwhile nightmare just wasn't sure how else to show how much he appreciates Ccino.

And his knights!! He knights get their masks once they proof they are loyal. (cross gets his when he stays. when he remains even when nightmare is a teen again. when he proves he isn't going to run and is loyal.)

Okay. but also?! The knights? Having these masks? I assume they would wear the masks on missions.

You just know that Dream would see those masks and know exactly where those came from. WOuld drema be angry that a well loved practise from their family is used like this? That ngihtmare dares to just give these murderers these masks?! That dream can't believe nightmare would do this. give them the same level of love and respect they used to only have for one another? (would it just be another building block in his mind that nightmare isn't fully nightmare? that something else MUST be going on?) ((I just get the feeling that dream is hardcore in denial))

You can go even more symbolic. Like. Ngihtmare could have been wearing his mask when he ran out to defend killer when drema invaded the castle. Maybe a warning shot of Dream's bow and arrow (dream didn't actually aim to hit nightmare) happens to scratch the mask. Maybe enough to make it come undone as well. So the mask falls, a tiny bit damaged now. and Dream just sees his brother.

something something even more about metaphors of how Nightmare was hiding behind his mask in public and how he only showed himself to those he trusted and that Drema used to be included in that group but now that Nightmare went to meet him with a mask on because he can't trust Dream anymore. And something about dream forcing the other to show himself and being able to still see nightmare...

I don't know i was going somewhere with that but i lost my track of mind.

On that note.

ERROR!! :D Error doesn't know what the deal is with the masks!! that is so funny! He just thinks it is a job thing and figures because he is a wizard he doesn't need one.

then nightmare is too shy to just give a mask. maybe he has like multiple made for error and can't decide which one is the best. maybe he had one designed and made and is just unsure how to give it TO error.

Nightmare could be talking aorund it how like. the masks mean you are important and trusted and stuff. THat you are special... and error just nods and thinks he gets it but he thinks it is more of a special/important to the job kinda deal. nightamre means perosnally for him/for the one who gets it made.

Nightmare would eventually gift error the mask of course. and error is probably holding the mask and studying it in awe when maybe ccino walks in and smiles like "I see he got over his nerves and finally gave you a mask."

Error: ... huh? Why would he be nervous?

Ccino laughs: Even if you two are close and both care it is still nerve wrecking to show how much someone means to you. The mask is very special for a reason. You only give that to those closest to you in your soul.

error proceeds to crash because you are saying it means WHAT?!

ccino is the best wingman and he knows it.

Mm, New Age au my beloved (I just knocked out like... a lot of stuff I needed to do, so here's a quick post before I get back to it) oh! And @ancha-aus hiiiii :]

I know I focus a lot on Night but like... Dream! Dream is a huge part of the story!! So here's a tease at wtf has been up with Dream since Night ate the apple.

So... Dream! He was exiled, but he wasn't left on his lonesome. Nightmare contacted a neighboring kingdom that they already had a treaty with, and asked for them to watch over the crown prince, as he was no longer "fit to rule". They'd accepted, and Night shipped him off at the earliest convenience.

Of course, Dream had no clue it was for his own good, so naturally, after lamenting to this other kingdom about what had happened, how everything changed, he garnered pity, and then support, when Nightmare confirmed Dream's story through letters. Though, the kingdom couldn't afford a war, so they just had to stand idly by.

Dream only stayed there a few years, because by the time he was about 17, he'd become good friends with a squire: Blue. Blue worked around the castle, doing all sorts of tasks for the knight training him, but despite his exceptional skill he remained at the level of Squire due to his age. Blue was very devoted to Dream as his friend and self-proclaimed protector. He looked up to Dream, and was positive he would defeat his brother and take back the throne.

And so, when Dream left on his own to gather experience and followers without endangering this kingdom, Blue followed. Blue was never officially Knighted, but their first night in an Inn, alone on the road, start of their journey, Dream honorarily knighted Blue with his power as a prince. (That's why I refer to Blue as a Knight, even tho no one ever *actually* knighted him and he has no affiliations with any kingdoms.)

Dream was picky with who he recruited and when. He and Blue found a nice little abandoned cottage to start their base of operations, and would travel to recruit people they thought would be of value. Dream wasn't versed in espionage or inner-working over the government, but he knew how to talk to crowds. Sway the people. Plus, feeling emotions helped out too. (I like to think that's something the twins have naturally. Dream's grows with Age, and Night (due to lack of training) only has it when he's corrupted and very little hints when he's young.) So over the course of years, Dream gains more and more support. Like a militia among the neighboring countries as well as in Night's kingdom.

Ink and Cross came together. Ink had been looking for a new job, as he was a mercenary (though his talent was really in the arts) and Cross was a soldier who had left the kingdom a few rivers over that crumbled under a coup. Ink liked Dream's energy right from the start and was completely swayed with the idea of getting a lot of easy work for pay. Meanwhile Cross needed a new hope. Despite leaving a crumbling castle with no hope, Dream seemed to be working towards a better future in this kingdom. Of course he joined him, because that meant he'd live to see an era of peace. (<- of course, Cross finds out this kingdom is actually banger and the current king was slowly working through improving each piece of it, ensuring the whole kingdom could thrive one piece at a time.)

Dream never stopped training, and over the years he lost track of just how different Night was. He lost the script, a bit. His childish mind turning Night's actions all those years ago into a conspiracy. He had an echo-chamber of support, with no outside voice (no Nightmare) to remind him of the truth.

This cottage remains their base, and expands into a small town/camp. Nightmare is taken here when Dream kidnaps him from the castle the first time, too. This place is filled with plants and magic and is thriving. The perfect place to find the golden king.

[linkspooky]

"The Only Ones the Heroes Protect Are Themselves."

is a quote given to us by Dabi. That's starting to sound more and more true after this press conference chapter. This post will be mainly talking about Hawks, because I think this chapter sheds a lot of light on Hawks' flaws as a character.

I think for understanding Hawks it's important to know this:

And this:

Are both Hawks. Hawks is both the person willing to manipulate, scheme and ruthlessly hunt down others for the sake of the greater good, and he's also the person who just wants to help because his whole life he's felt useless and unworthy. Hawks is both the overly idealistic child who believes in heroes and just wants tp help the heroes, and at the same time, the cynical adult who thinks heroes can't always save people.

Some part of Hawks is aware that this darker side of him exists. He tells the hero commission that he's willing to dirty his hands for the sake of general peace. He specifically warns the villains not to underestimate his resolve. He tells Twice that he's not the type to get tripped up by sentiment in the crucial stages of his plan.

However, at the same time Hawks doesn't cop up to this side of his personality. If you confront Hawks about his actions in any way he switches back to his hero-mode. I don't believe this is because Hawks believes himself to be a good person. I don't even think Hawks defines himself as a person to begin with, just a tool. It makes sense that Hawks doesn't have a consistent identity it all goes back to his origins.

All Hawks could do was internalize everything he felt, and every abuse hurtled at him by his parents. All he wanted to believe back then was that he wouldn't turn out the same way they did. He wanted to believe in some good part of him.

However, I wonder if Hawk truly believes he's good. If he truly believes he's a good hero. He seems to have internalized so much of his abuse when he was younger that he has little self worth and all of it, is built around what kind of things he does for other people. He has to believe he's helping other people, because otherwise he crumbles. Otherwise the part of his head that tells him he was just trash the hero council picked up on the side of the road, is right.

I'm touching upon all of this to say Hawks does not really have a sense of self-identity. It's very weak, and he bases it on things are around him instead, things he can cling to provide him some sense of self worth, his role as a hero, his pseudo-imagined relationship with Endeavor, the idea that the things he's doing is ultimately for the public good. Because he's clinging to these things it makes it almost impossible to be self-critical. Because if Hawks isn't a hero, then he's nothing. Hawks also, similarly, can't deal with any criticism to the institution of hero because that's the institution that saved him, that's where he belongs, that's where all of his personal relationships are.

Hawks previously thought everything he did was for the public good, because heroes protected the people, hero and the public were both aligned.

However, when the public they're protecting begins to question the heroes, when they're not alligned Hawks picks the heroes.

Now I'll touch on Enji briefly to give an example of why this is wrong. Enji's excuse for why he didn't do anything with Toya, why he didn't even try to be a father, was because he was a hero first before he was a person.

Both Enji and Hawks (they're meant to be read as character foils) divide their personalities this way. They are who they are as heroes, before their faults and individual failings as people. However, in reality, they're just running away from their actions. Enji is depicted entirely in shadow in these few panels, the same way Hawks is depicted in shadow when confronting Twice.

Ultimately it doesn't matter if whatever Hawks did to Twice was justified or not, the problem is he wasn't a hero to Twice. He decided in that moment Twice was not worth saving. He divided that line between who gets to get saved, and who doesn't.

What I mean when I say that Hawks is unable to cop up to the darker sides of his personality, is that he's unable to acknowledge when he's done a bad thing. Which is also, something he shares in common with Enji. Enji's failures are never personal ones, he's never the one at fault. Toya's death was what drove him to train Shoto so hard (nevermind the fact he was already doing that beforehand.) Toya attacking Shoto was the reason that Enji had to isolate Shoto (nevermind, that Toya himself a thirteen-year-old kid was able to recognize that he was wrong to blame his brother, but it's still unfair for his father to put all his attention on Shoto and leave the rest of his kids alone). Uraraka is the narrator for this chapter, but Uraraka also said this.

IThe real question is, are heroes to be held individually responsible for their actions? Can we criticize heroes as people? Hawks, Enji, and Jeanist all seem to believe that identity and world of heroes is far too important to level criticisms at any individual. That the world of heroes somehow, elevates them from others in a way that makes them impossible to understand, because they have more responsibility.

I'm not going to say Hawks doesn't feel sorry for Twice. He expressed like, the greatest possible expression of public apology he can. The problem however is everything else about Hawks. Twice apologizes for the act of killing twice and expresses it as a moral failing on his part, while stating he had no choice before that point. 

Hawks is unaware of his own personal biases, and his own flaws, and therefore properly can’t account to them. He thinks his failing was that he couldn’t convince Jin to join his side. Not that his wrongdoing was his act of choosing only Jin to save because he was one of the “good” victims, and only offering Jin the chance to atone conditional on him betraying his friends. He’s still picking and choosing between good and bad in who he helps. And Hawks’ standards for that are pretty biased. Notice how his help for Enji doesn’t involve mandatory jailtime and atonement for his crimes like it did with Twice. Enji still gets to remain a hero. 

Hawks has a bias and it goes on unacknowledged, by framing his actions as heroic and for the greater good. 

His priority isn't to make the same mistake again with Twice or even to feel bad about Twice, it's to stop public criticism. It even comes down to the way he frames his own actions, Hawk doesn't acknowledge the part of him that manipulated Twice, held him at gunpoint, forced him to choose between his friends and his own safety, cruelly taunted him. All of things which were by the way, an abuse of his power, and things Hawks did because he personally likes to feel in control of situations not because it was necessary for the greater good to break Twice mentally like that.

Hawks didn't do all those things in the Hawks vs. Twice situation, because he was forced to in a bad situation. Hawks planned the whole situation out to give himself control over the situation, and try to manipulate Twice into siding with him because he liked Twice. It's like, written in a very specific way to show how manipulative Hawks is for setting things up this way, the whole thing was a set up. However, hawks can't cop up to that. He frames it like an oopsie daisy. He frames it like something he did in the heat of the moment because he felt like he had no other choice, and not something that was pre-meditated and all set up by him beforehand. It's because, while Hawks acts like this, he never owns up to his actions, he only ever frames himself as the guy willing to sacrifice anything in order to help people. The guy determined to be helpful and useful to others. Therefore he can't find fault within himself and he can't find fault within heroes.

Even with Enji, his first response isn't, "Wow, if heroes are using their position to cover up their crimes we should investigate how other heroes might be abusing their families." It's to find a way to make Enji look good for the public, so the public gets off his back.

Uraraka says that if Toga wants to threaten people she has to live with the consequences, but the heroes aren't living with conesquences for their actions. It's not just that Hawks murdered someone. I mean after all, I argue that Toga who kills lots of people., Shigaraki who destroys whole cities, Dabi who admits to murdering 30 people, are all people who I think are going to get positive character development.

However, they all also accept that they're going to be seen as murderers. Dabi calls himself a murderer live on television. Toga accepts it, when Uraraka says that she has no choice but to put her down if she's going to hurt others. Shigaraki even holds himself responsible for the murder of his family which was a complete accident, he had to have his reluctance to hurt other people beaten out of him.

It's not that Hawks murdered a person, but rather he can kill a person and not see himself as a murderer. Just speaking in terms of character development, to have a character arc, a character must first acknowledge they are wrong, and then work to improve on that wrong. Hawks hasn't reached the first part.

Hawks and Enji are unable to admit to their personal failings, because not only do they appear to the public only as heroes, but they also think "Heroes" are like a special protected class of people. They can make up for all of their flaws by being good heroes. However, it's not the public that they're defending. Just like it's not his family that Enji is really doing all these things for. Time and time again, they choose to be heroes over everythig else, because the world of heroes is the only place they exist in. Being seen as a good hero is what validates both of them. For Hawks it comes from his own perosnal trauma and loneliness, from Enji his priority of being a good hero above everything else. So if you ewre to strip all of that away, if you were to admit, that Hawks deciding to kill Twice, that Enji abusing his family, doesn't make them very good heroes? Means they aren't entitled to being heroes anymore? What would be left of them for both of them? They'd just be left with what they've done and who they are and neither of them are or were ever very happy with themselves. Which is why, rather than trying to be better people. Trying to address the cricticisms that other people have lobbied to them, including Endeavor's own son who was personally hurt by him. It keeps coming back to being better heroes.

They're not heroes though, they're just people. Everyone is just people in the end.

[btssunnyboy]

Deadly Protection - Choi San - PART 1

The hate he felt for his other clients, was nothing compared to how he felt about you. But maybe him liking you, isn’t the best possible outcome.

Word Count - 3,036

Warning - Progressive yandere, profanity, Chan is fucking mean, one misogynistic comment, and a sexual innuendo.

BTS , NCT , ATEEZ - Request Open

__________________________________________

Working with over pampered celebrities was his expertise. He knew all the in and outs of this industry, but he had too. As much as he hated the people he worked with, he was still getting paid to protect them with his life. In order to do so he needed to know every possible outcome of every possible situation. And that hatred for those other clients built a pit of anger and despair in his stomach as he walked closer to the door. The thought of meeting the shitty person behind almost made him change his mind and walk away. But that key word almost is something big that should be taken into consideration. With a deep breath, San swallowed his pride and proceeded to make his presence known to those in the room.

A few sets of eyes shifted towards his direction and the only thing he could do is bow his head. Within a second those in the room turned back to their original conversation and paid the man in the comer no mind as he stared off aimlessly through the window. It was oddly strange that no one was rushing up to him, or pointing him towards the one person he was sworn to protect. This whole ordeal was causing a pit to rise in his stomach, and his gut feelings were always right.

“She has to be on set in ten minutes! Where is she!” One of the women in the dressing room bellowed out loudly as she checked her watch for the third time. Her eyes acted as if they were gonna pop out of her skull at any given moment. And that made San’s blood run cold. Was this mystery lady about to be another pain in his ass, were you somehow even more of a spoiled, entitled bitch then he had thought? Should San give up this opportunity right here, right now.

Another lady in the room, that he assumed was an assistant, came up behind the previous woman and tried to soothe her. Small back rubs and encouraging words did not seem to do the trick, as he watched her hissy fit continue to unfold in front of him. The assistant took a shaky breath into her lungs before she spoke, “Listen, Y/n has never let you down before! I promise, it’s probably just traffic that’s keeping them.”

Ah, so his client is the famous Y/n, who is known for her more villainous roles on the silver screen. If you’re anything like you’re characters, he’s gonna take that as a big red flag. But before he could form more of an obnoxious opinion on you, the dressing room door was being pushed open. Rather harshly as it made San stumble about, before he could reach for the gun that was hidden within the confines of his jacket just as his fingertips grazed the holster, he was met with pleading eyes. That was just begging for some peace at that moment.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realize you were standing there.” The voice was panicked as you rushed to his aid. Your eyes as wide as they’d go as you looked over his arm. Almost as if you were more worried about the built man in the corner then your own safety. As you had walked up to a complete stranger without inspecting more of your surroundings. “Are you okay, do you need anything?”

San’s curiosity spiked just by watching you interact with him, as you’ve known each other since you were kids. Your soft hands rested on his bicep as you tried to inspect for any injuries that you may have caused. And he found it quite cute when reliziation hit you, and you tried to make the distance between two of you greater. You were invading his personal space, and he appreciates you backing off. But before he could even answer your questions, the assistant from before harshly shoved her shoulder into his.

“Y/n, where the hell were you! Sasha has been panicking like crazy!” San felt his eye twitch at the high pitched voice of the assistant. They could have been nicer with this whole ordeal, it’s not that hard to ask a question. But instead this lady wanted to raise her voice and practically spit in your face, and then have the audacity to get mad when you took a few moments to answer. “You’ve got a voice, don’t you?”

“Amber I’m so sorry I was late, but traffic was terrible and random cars kept following me.” You explained as you tried to put down your purse. When you made eye contact with him, for some reason it felt nice and familiar. Even though you know for a fact you have never met this man in your life. “I promise this won’t happen again.”

“It better not, or you can kiss any letter or recommendations goodbye.” Sasha stormed out of the dressing room and dragged Amber along with her. A saddened look on her face as they simply brushed right passed you. “You have less than ten minutes to get ready for the scene.”

You harshly rubbed your hands down your face as you took in a deep breath. All these doubtful thoughts of the movie started racing in, and you wondered if this was all worth. Getting treated like trash just because you were late one time, and then threatening to trash your name up and down the boulevard. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why Amber decided to take her anger out on you.”

“You say sorry too much, besides that hit felt like nothing.” San slightly smiled as he tried to keep the conversation small. Those two were already pissed and he doesn’t want you getting into any more trouble. He cleared his throat loudly as he started towards the door. “I will just step outside and let you get ready. Just knock on the door three times and we’ll head down to the set.”

Before he could step out the door, you held out your hand. A small gesture, that he was not used to at all. He was used to getting yelled at to guard the doors and make sure no pervert is snooping through the windows. His wrinkled eyebrows gave away his confusion as he eyed your hand just a little bit longer than necessary. The small rings that glittered in the light complimented your hand nicely, everything seemed to compliment you nicely. “Just so we’re starting off on the right foot, I’m Y/n, and I’m going to guess that you’re Choi San my new bodyguard.”

It was oddly strange how the first interaction with you had San’s heart beating a little faster than normal. He was so used to being with distasteful people, that didn’t care about anyone but themselves. But truth be told everything felt different when it came to you. You apologize profusely even when things weren’t your fault, you never raise your voice and you’re always so kind. Even to some of the dumb people that over step their boundaries, but that’s his job to pay attention to those types of people. It’s his job to protect you and yet it seems like you’d lay it all on the line to protect him.

He’d never admit it to anyone, but he does feel a connection. A connection that runs deeper than a simple coworker type of relationship, but at the same time he knows this has to stay strictly in the business type of situation. But at this moment it’s not like he could act on these so-called feelings, as your manager had other plans for your own love life. Which was stupid in his opinion, as you were your own perosn and you didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

“Don’t they just look fantastic together!” Sasha gushed beside him as she looked at her new couple. You were standing there semi awkwardly as the dude proceeded to put his arm around your waist. But it started to drift lower and lower and San could feel his blood boil within. Before he could even step one foot forward, you calmly removed his arm altogether. Within a second Sasha had to put her two cents in once more. “Y/n, stop! That pose is perfect, it shows how close you two are!”

“No offense, Sasha, but Chan and I barely know each other.” You forced a tight lipped as Chan’s hand tried to rub soothing circles on your hip. This relationship is just PR for the new movie you two are, but it felt so grimy. Lying to your fans just so they’ll buy a ticket and waste their own money on you. Just because they see the two main characters getting close with one another.

“I mean you could always take me up on my offer, and go on a date with me.” Chan smiled flirtatiously at you as he twisted your body to face him. His eyes staring longingly into your while his hands began to move to your lower back. Then he leaned over to whisper in your ear so that no one could hear. “Besides, if you have a good time at dinner, maybe we can have some more fun back at my hotel room.”

You kept your mouth shut because you knew that if you opened your mouth vomit would cover him from head to toe. But it seems like that decision was already made for you, as Sasha’s eyebrows quirked up at the idea. The idea of her two leading costars getting flirty at a candle lit dinner. It would drive the press crazy which in result would drive up so much more buzz about the movie. “That’s perfect, Amber will have everything set up by tonight!”

Dread filled your entire body at the thought of having to spend a night with him. You know it’s for press, and you know it’s for the fans, but still it’s the thought is stomach turning. But beside you, Chan, was having the opposite reaction. One of his eyebrows were cocked in and he wore a sly smirk. You could tell that his stomach was filled with something else than bile, like yours was. His fingertips brushed against your chin, as he pulled your face a little closer. His lips barely brushed against yours, as he softly spoke. “I’ll see you tonight sweetheart.”

You watched him walk away as you tried to keep your composure, but it was hard. Dealing with a guy like him was terrible. They never took social cues, or read the room in any way. The only thing that filled their blown up head of getting laid. Quickly slipping away you tried to make it back to the dressing room without anyone noticing, but you knew that you’d always have a shadow.

“Why can’t they have his girlfriend in the show go on a date with him! I’m his rival, what good is gonna come from this.” You huffed lightly as you turned to face the man that followed you. “I’m sorry you probably don’t wanna hear all my complaining.”

“Talking helps, and it’s obvious you need someone to listen.” San shrugged his shoulders as he took a seat on the plush couch, but he tried to keep a respectable distance between the two of you. “And I’m your bodyguard. I'm here to help with any problems you might have, so lay it on me.”

For once someone actually cared to listen to what you have to say. It felt like a wave of relief washed over you, because you felt safe having this conversation with him. You hoped that after this you two would have more conversations, because seriousness isn’t needed every second of the day. You just hoped he felt that way too.

“Let’s hope this doesn’t take long.”

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m all ears no matter how long it takes.”

_______________________________________

You lightly patted down the bottom of your dress as you started walking towards the elevator. Chan had asked you to meet him down in the lobby, because he said he has a small surprise. Even though you know you needed to focus on the man you’re about to go on a date with you couldn’t. As cliche as it sounds you couldn’t stop your mind from wandering to San. The poor guy who has his ear talked off for over an hour, just by you complaining about Chan. But he still listened, his eyes were alert with every single word that passed through your lips. You sighed heavily as the elevator dinged showing that you were now on the right floor.

“You look stunning.” Chan said, surprisingly nice. Without the hint of any sexual undertones to it. You smiled slightly as you gripped his outstretched hand. He may be acting nice now, but you know you never should let that guard down tonight. Here’s to two hours of your life that you’re never gonna get back.

“You’re not gonna be quiet the whole dinner are you?” Chan jokes as he tries to nonchalantly sip his drink. His eyes stared back into yours with curiosity swimming in them, but he waited patiently for your answer. “Hmm?”

“I’m just looking through the menu right now,” You tried to keep yourself busy as long as possible. Because no offense to him, but you could feel your brain cells deteriorating the more you spoke to him. All you wanted to do was go back to your room and go to sleep. For once sleep seems a lot more interesting than keeping a conversation going with this man. You bit back the urge to laugh as you heard him huff.

“For fifteen minutes? Damn, I didn’t realize picking a meal could be that hard.” His words made your head pulse with a headache every time he decided to speak. But the stupid look on his face made it clear that he thought his words were just conversational pieces. And it took all the willpower in your body to not chuck the wine in your glass at him. But he didn’t seem to care as he started to scroll aimlessly through his stupid phone.

The moment the waiter came over you quickly rushed your order out of your mouth. The sooner you say it the sooner it might come, and the sooner you can leave this ass in the restaurant. Throughout dinner you could feel eyes staring holes into the back of your head. But every time you tried to catch a glimpse of them, they’d always disappear. Your soul nearly left your body as a rough hand was placed upon your shoulder.

“You need to leave, right now.” San has a calm demeanor, but you could tell something was wrong by the sternness in his voice. Chan eyed him worriedly, as he watched him out his arm around your waist. Before you two even stepped one foot out of the restaurant he placed his jacket over your head. You assumed it was to protect you from the rain. “Keep your head down, and walk as fast as you can. I’ll explain everything when we’re in your hotel room.”

You listened without a second thought as you raced back to your room. Ignoring the pain in your ankles from your high heels digging into them harshly. The only thing on your mind was the way San’s hands rested protectively rested on your waist. Before you stepped into the hotel you noticed all the vans that were starting to surround the restaurant and many different people emerged from them. Paparazzi, along with fans seemed to camp out in front of the restaurant. Now you were glad to be in the safe walls of San’s hotel room.

“Chan sent a tweet exposing your location and people started to figure out the hotel you were staying at as well. So I knew I needed to get you out of there as soon as possible.” Of course that dumb ass tweeted out where you two were. But then again it doesn’t surprise you, he’s always been one who loves any type of attention that he could receive. “Maybe it’s best you stay in my room tonight, just in case any fans put two and two together.”

“I really don’t want to be a bother, and besides you have to deal with me enough.” You tried to waive off his offer, even though you knew this was a good idea. You were safer with him no matter. And the thought of someone getting into your hotel room scared the hell out of you.

“Once again, it’s my job to protect you no matter what. And besides Chan is still at the restaurant they’re gonna follow him, and I’d rather not have the thought of you alone on my mind. So please just stay.” San pleaded as he tried to fix the spare bed. Making sure it was comfortable enough for you to sleep in. He smiled slightly as you gave a quick nod, before announcing that you were going to return to your room for a change of clothes. He knew at that moment you were too nice for your own good, and he’s going to have to step up his game in order to keep you safe.

San didn’t understand what came over him that night. Watching you shake slightly under your cover was tearing him to pieces and he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t understand why he’s even having these feelings all together, considering you were supposed to be a job, not anything else. But he picked Chan’s lock without a second thought and proceeded to show him why exposing your location was a bad idea. Chan’s room was unrecognizable, by the time San was down with it.

Glass shattered in every direction, piles of it littered the floor. Multiple pieces of his clothes were ripped and torn straight from the seams. His bed was turned upside down, with the sheets thrown across the room. Hopefully this gets San’s message across, but he’d be more than happy to take this straight to Chan’s face.

[70swizards]

james & adhd

tw// everything to do w adhd?

james never understood why he always procrastinated. he never understood why he could never bring himself to do the work he knew he was supposed to be doing

“why can’t i just do it? i need to do it- i can’t- i can’t do it,” he’d whimper to himself, his charms homework lonely on his desk.

why did james always forget what he was saying? he swears the idea was there a second ago, but it’s no longer there, and to save his life, he couldn’t remember what that was.

james would raise his hand in class, the answer clear in his head. he knows what to say. as soon as he is called on, the thought slips like water through cracks. it was gone

everything was so goddamn loud. why was everything so goddamn loud?! auditory hypersensitivity? he couldn’t stand people talking on top of each other, he couldn’t stand the loud tv, he couldn’t stand the noises, unless he was the one making them.

he was a master at multi-tasking, but at the same time, he absolutely could not do it. if he was listening to music, and someone had walked in to speak to him, he’d turn the music off or he wouldn’t understand any of it.

on the other hand, while in class, he couldn’t just listen to his professor speak. it was impossible. he had to be doing something else. he was so under-stimulated it hurt.

james had glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. he had memorized how many stars were about to fall off, and how many moons were scattered about. the nights he had stared up at his ceiling, not being able to sleep were countless

rejection sensitive dysphoria.

he was so sensitive to rejection. one time, when sirius wouldn’t reply to his owl, he was sure that sirius hated him and never wanted to speak to him again. he cried in his bed for hours, desperately wanting to believe otherwise.

it was the same thing with criticism. he knew his friends were just trying to help him, but it still hurt him that he wasn’t doing it perfectly.

“hey prongs, your dive wasn’t the best last match, you should probably work on that!” sirius said to him during practice. and of course, it wasn’t his fault, but james could only smile and nod, feeling his heart wrench

he couldn’t handle his emotions well. if he walks in to the boys’ dorm, and they’re watching tv, that’s way too loud for james’ preference, he’d ask if they can lower the volume. if they say no, james would a twinge of sadness as he feels his eyes water.

one spring break, remus took the marauders to a muggle mall, and sirius insisted on stopping to check out the toy store. there, james found a little red and black fidget cube. at first he had just bought it cause it looked cool, but afterwards, you’d never spot james without it. if he was forced to stop using it in class, he’d bounce his leg, play with his quill, twist his ring, bite his lips, pick at the skin around his nails. anything. he needed to move. he needed to fidget.

talking about moving, he’d get in trouble for standing up too much in class. he couldn’t sit anymore, he felt as if he were about to combust, he shouldn’t be getting in trouble for that.

what was up with the two week obsessions that kept shifting?? one week he was so adamant on learning how to crochet, and the other, he just wanted to know everything about greek mythology. but soon enough, he didn’t care about any of those things anymore, and it didn’t feel right to him

james loved transfiguration. it was his favourite class and surprisingly enough, he loved when mcgonagall gave them homework. one time, she had told them to write a seven foot essay about the book they read that term. they had two weeks.

but james? he started it the day before the deadline, not because he didn’t want to do it, but because he knew it would take a ton of effort. but as expected, he loved doing it once he started. so he sat on the floor for six full hours, not moving a centimeter, working on that essay. no water breaks, no bathroom, no food. nothing. just the essay. hyperfixation.

for some bizarre reason that james would forever wonder, he always needed the pressure of failure or a competition / deadline to focus and get things done.

when it comes to regular tasks, he preferred to finish bigger tasks in one sitting, even though it rarely happened. but with smaller tasks, he would alternate, they’d get boring way too fast

and before actually starting said big task, james would feel paralyzed. he would be too overwhelmed to do anything. he’d just sit on the couch, and do nothing. because if he couldn’t do that task, he couldn’t do anything else. he just gets to sit there and worry about it. he hated it.

james struggled to wait for his turn. he knew it was rude to interrupt people, he knew he should be quiet when someone was talking, but he just couldn’t. before he’d even process what had happened, he’d cut someone off, mid-sentence, and say what he wanted to say, only to apologize afterwards.

body doubling. james always needed someone in the room with him as he worked or did anything really, as it helped him focus and complete the task faster, without getting distracted. just sitting in the same room would help

james constantly used anecdotal communication. he thinks he’s comforting others when he does this. but usually, they just get mad as they often think he’s trying to invalidate their struggles, when he’s only trying to make them feel better. he’s trying to show them that they’re not alone

“i’ve been failing divination and i don’t know what to do,” someone would tell him. “i’m failing divination too! really horribly! mate, i even get extra homework and stuff! it honestly sucks, you know? all the extra work doesn’t even help!” and that’s when the person thinks that he’s only trying to talk about himself.

his mind and thoughts were always faster than his mouth and hands. when writing, he’d skip words, or end up writing in a horrible handwriting. when reading aloud, he’d stutter and mix words up, since his mind was reading faster than his mouth was speaking.

everything. was. in. slow. motion. why did everyone talk so slowly? why couldn’t they talk faster? walk faster? just be faster.

james hated the way polyester felt. he couldn’t touch it. there was no way in hell you could get him to put a polyester jumper or jacket on. no. get it away. when he’d touch it, he’d feel like his hands were dirty, and immediately had to wash them

often during classes he would zone out, sometimes aware of it. his eyes would bore into the wall, as he stared into nothingness, his mind racing.

he loved to daydream. though it usually happens out of nowhere, as his thoughts drift, he enjoyed it. he loved to imagine himself fighting off aliens or winning the house cup.

he was the most impulsive perosn youd ever meet. if he felt like jumping into the black lake with his robes on, he would do it and there’s nothing you can do about it.

james had comfort items. a teddy bear he would never get rid of, one he had since he was a new born, and a gryffindor quidditch hoodie that was a tad bit too big for him. he’d wear that hoodie every single day if he could, and he could never fall asleep without the teddy bear.

james had adhd. living with it might’ve not been the easiest, but it made him him. and in his own way, he loved it, even if it got really really hard sometimes

[ackermanshoe]

I think what made aot stand out than the other mangas / anime is that fact that despite having giant naked ppl running around & eating human for no good reason, this manga had portrayed it's themes & concepts very realistically. The plot twists tat revealed more and more of the actual story and the fact that it wasn't actually about building walls and staying away from creatures that tries to kill you in vein, the fact that death is not predictable- it's the very part of life it can rain on us like timeless weather and we have to keep living through it no matter what ( Levi embodied the concept of living and keeping your friends in your heart ) & the relationships, toxic or healthy or imperfect, they all exist. And that's the reality. ( Mikasa's arcs centres around it)

Em is the representation of a toxic love that hurt you so bad that you have to build yourself up and it teaches you to grow. Realistically speaking, not all of your crush ends up liking you back and jealousy & envy is a natural part of it. We would have gotten this realistic ending to an unnatural connection if it weren't for whatever mess up that occured.

Even tho Ymir and fritz's relationship can not to be justified, we understand that it reflects realistic traditional concepts of entities held at a high value in many religions and cultures.

Finally we have rivamika, I could go on days talking about their development that you have already heard about. their growth from misunderstanding, to mutual understanding to relying & trusting each other is the best realistic portrayal of a relationship of all. Of course in others eyes they had imperfection like the age gap or may even be the tiniest amount of blood that the share. But it's also very realistically imperfect Because in real life adults can call in love with anyone they wish. Bet you know that tho. It's also a difference of culture and time which influences the age gap.

These realistic themes that built up aot is what made it so special to and to think that 139 took away all of these by creating unnatural & unrealistic scenes. Mourning by the grave of your ex crush who's last words to you were "you should forget me", lets not forget carrying his beheaded head for miles and keeping the chain around your neck that grounds to your unforgettable pain Forever. That's not realistic. People not only deserve to move on but they want to move on, why would you want to remember the person who grew up with, loving and protecting telling you they hate you and telling you to move on from then, for the rest of your life?

Considering the leaks, realistically ones love life & marriage is a rather big part of their lives. It's the one perosn your marrying and promise to love them forever. Wether you keep it or not, your tied to them and it's a huge asf deal. But the leaks and by what I've seen contradicts that idea because her husband's face is not seen, niether are her family's faces or names are shown that she had with that man. You see how unrealistically they portrayed the idea of moving on and creating a moving family? It wasn't portrayed at all. How do we know that Mika is happy if the most we can see her is by a grave, not next to the person she had THE MOST realistic development with and with when finally she's shown on her death bed?

If the leaks are not fake then Levi and her ended up in literally the same position. It's funny to think how Mika lived her whole life fullfilling the role everyone she expected of her ( and ofc she wanted to ) to just end up paralleling Levi in the end. Their arcs and parallels will be the greatest thing this story had to offer because even now, when all my hopes are gone, it makes me wonder "is it really their conclusion? Is this really all that rivamika had to offer?"

He answer is no, I know we were robbed off but anyway.

[hotchxprentiss]

Hi! I saw your taking request. (My dms do not work I’m still trying to figure it out.) but I was wondering if you could do a emily prentiss x fem or gender neutral reader. Warning: spoilers It would be just pure fluff like when em comes back from London after hotch leaves. The reader is all happy and cant leave Emily’s sight and is around her because she hasn’t seen her in forever. Like when the case comes along and there debriefing in the jet the reader and em are all professional but as soon as the get to there hotel room it’s just pure fluff. The team thinks it’s funny how em can go from this female hotch (i hope that makes sense) to this happy upbeat perosn when she’s a the reader.I don’t really know but that’s just kinda of a idea/request I have:)

My Happiness 

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x gender-neutral!reader

Word Count: 878

Warnings: Season 6, 7, & 12 SPOILERS!!, mention of killings (regular case stuff) minor angst, fluff

A/N: Thank you so much for the request anon! I love Emily so much so I definitely had fun writing this. I changed the request just a bit so there’s some angst but I hope you still enjoy it! There might be typos.

~

Ever since Emily became the BAU’s new unit chief, the rest of the group noticed how much her demeanor changed compared to the last time she was with the team. In fact, some of them referred to her as “female Hotch” when she wasn’t around. But whenever she was with you, she let down the whole stoic and strict attitude and became her old bubbly and sarcastic self. Emily was back to making jokes and showing off her pearly whites with you. 

When you joined the BAU before the entire Doyle fiasco, Emily instantly became your best friend. No case days meant you two were either having a spa day or hanging out at each other’s apartments. After her “death”, it took time for you to be able to trust her again. She even gave you little gifts everyday to show how sorry she was and how she never meant to hurt you or any of the team. You eventually realized that Emily did all of that to protect herself and her family. She started to cry when you went to her apartment and forgave her, and the night ended with the two of you falling asleep while watching Clueless.

Even after Emily left the team, she still kept in contact, mainly with you. You two tried to Skype twice a week, which proved to be difficult due to your busy schedules. During those video calls, she began to open up to you about her past, deciding that you would be the best person to talk to since you were her best friend, well actually the person she fell in love with. That was the one thing Emily refused to confess. She knew damn well that you didn’t feel the same way, or so she thought.

~

The debrief of the case was tense but everyone kept their composure. Ten year old girls were being killed, which especially affected Rossi, Matt, and JJ. Emily did her best to lead the team and it all paid off in the end. They saved another victim and caught the unsub, a father who lost his little girl and believed everyone should suffer like him.

Once the team arrived at the hotel, they were given their room arrangements. JJ knew about your secret crush on Emily for the longest time. She thought this was the perfect opportunity for you two to confess your feelings for each other, so she gave you the room card and said, “Go get your girl,” with a wink. 

You blushed at her statement and walked over to Emily with your stuff and card.

“Guess we’re sharing a room,” you smiled.

She returned it and you two headed to the third floor. After the both of you showered, you sat on the couch and she followed. 

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” you asked, holding the remote.

“How about no.”

You gave her a puzzled look, not expecting that to be her answer.

“Wait, what do you mean? You’re always down for movie night after a case.”

Emily took a deep breath before giving you an answer.

“Listen, I know we’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember. And I appreciate you being there for me. But I don't think we can be friends anymore.”

By now the lone tear in your eye streamed down your face. You can’t believe she just said that. 

“Why do you want to end our friendship, huh? Is it because you’re the unit chief now? You think you’re too good to be my friend since you’re the boss, right? Did our friendship mean nothing to you? After everything we’ve been through together you decide to just end it on some random fucking night and-”

Emily cut you off with a searing kiss to shut you up. At first you didn’t register her lips on yours but soon enough, you kissed her back with the same ferocity. She broke off the kiss, which was too soon in your opinion, and placed both of her hands on your cheeks.

“That’s not what I meant at all. We need to end our friendship because I don’t think I can just see you as a friend anymore. God, I was terrified to say anything because I had no fucking clue if you felt the same but I realized that life is too short. And I cannot spend the rest of it without being with you romantically. What I’m trying to say is, I love you.”

It took a while for you to respond. Emily was in love with you? You’ve been holding in what you felt for years and it turns out she felt the same way. Instead of words, you gave her a long, passionate kiss. You wrapped your arms around her neck and she placed her hands on the curve of your back.

“Emily,” you said as you broke off the kiss, “I love you, too.”

She let out a sigh of relief and laughed, all while hugging you as tight as she can. Emily let go, pecked your forehead, and asked, “Wanna watch a movie now?”

You grinned and nodded, walking over to the bed and resting your head on her chest. 

“I love you, Emily.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Song of Starting Anew

Saiou's fingers danced elegantly across the keys.  He may well have lost his gifts to see the future - something he struggled to adjust to even now after five years - but he'd focused on his music once he began to be in a position to do so, and he enjoyed creating the greatest beauty that he could.

"That's not too bad," an unfamiliar voice spoke.  He glanced up to see someone lounging in the doorway and blinked towards them.  So far as he knew, he hadn't invited any guests over, nor had Edo or Mizuchi. So what this stranger wanted baffled him.

"Thank you,"  he replied first.  The stranger did look familiar, now that he considered it, but he couldn't place the name at first.  "Might I know who you are and what you're doing in my home?"

The stranger pushed himself off the doorway and strolled in.  His smile was wide and warm and accepting. "We never did really meet at Duel Academia, so I'm not surprised you don't know me."

Hm.  That must by why the face seemed oddly familiar.  He didn't wear an Academia uniform, or anything like it. In point of fact, he wore a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, as if he'd just come from the beach or planned on going there.  The more Saiou considered it, the more he thought he might have seen someone in similar garb around school grounds.  That time wasn't very clear anymore, of course.

When he got close enough, the stranger stuck his hand out.  "Tenjoin Fubuki.  My sister's Tenjoin Asuka and my best friend is Marufuji Ryou."

Oh.  That made a great deal more sense.  Saiou remembered Tenjoin-san and he certainly was aware of Marufuji Ryou, given that he and Edo dated off and on.  They'd had dinner together more than once, and Saiou thought that this elder Tenjoin had been mentioned.

So he carefully rested his hand in the other's and Fubuki pumped it cheerfully.  "Anyway, like I said, you're pretty good.  Mind if I join you?"

Saiou hadn't expected that, either.  But he shifted over.  "Go ahead."  He wasn't certain if this were a good idea, but even though he didn't have the gift of foresight anymore, he didn't think this Tenjoin Fubuki was a threat to anyone.

Fubuki settled next to him, then looked towards him.  "Play something?  I'm not good at playing, at least not piano."  His deep brown eyes twinkled briefly.  "But I am really good at singing."

Saiou considered that briefly, shrugged to himself, then started to play again, the same melody that he'd worked on before.  He'd written it himself, though he'd never bothered writing lyrics for it.  Fubuki listened for a few moments, then started to hum, matching the rhythm effortlessly.  Saiou continued to play, losing himself in the music as he did so often. 

Somewhere in there, Fubuki started to sing, and the lyrics he crafted, apparently off the top of his head, fit the melody almost perfectly.  Saiou's fingers stuttered briefly on the keys, then he recovered himself, listening to both the music he made and what Fubuki made.  He couldn't help but smile at the lyrics; he'd never envisioned them before, and yet they fit as if he'd crated them perosnally.

"Why did you come here?" Saiou asked as the song finally came to an end.  Fubuki looked at him.

"I heard the music,"  he said after a few moments.  "I was coming over to see if Ryou was here, since I wanted to see if he were free to go to a movie with me and Yuusuke."  His eyes lit up.  "You should meet Yuusuke, too, you know.  He knows a lot about that spooky stuff."

Saiou blinked a few times.  He'd met Fujiwara Yuusuke before, if only for a short time, at Yuuki Juudai's graduation ceremony.  They'd spoken briefly and they did exchange e-mails on occasion.

"We've met,"  Saiou said at last, quietly.  "He's an interesting person."  Though truth to tell, Fubuki was equally as interesting, if in a different way.  He'd never seen someone so utterly open in heart and in mind.  Saiou knew very well what he'd done to Fubuki's sister and he regretted it, and all of his actions in those long ago days.  But Fubuki hadn't even mentioned it. 

Fubuki nodded cheerfully before he started talking more about music.   Saiou listened quietly, offering his own comments at various points, but something became very clear as they went along - what Fubuki wasn't talking about.

When Fubuki actually stopped talking for a few minutes, Saiou made an effort of his own.  He'd been wary of what might happen when Fubuki appeared, but now he thought he needed to ask.

"Why don't you say anything about what happened at Duel Academia?  I - I brainwashed your sister.  I know how much you care about her."  He remembered seeing that at the graduation, and having heard a few rumors that he remembered now.  He'd used Manjoume to do it, but he'd had his own hand in matters.

Fubuki stared at him, blinking in confusion, before he laughed.  "Did you really want me to yell in your face about something that happened five years ago?"

Saiou couldn't quite believe that he'd heard that.  There were few days that he didn't at least think about what he'd done and try to make up for it in some fashion.  Creating music was one of those way - creation to counter the destruction he'd sown and wanted to sow.  He wanted to say something but no words came out of his mouth.

Fubuki must have seen something of that surprise in him, since he softened a breath later.  "It's not just that, though.  I mean - you were possessed, right?  The Light of Ruin." 

Saiou nodded quietly.  No matter how long he lived, he'd never forget the clean, sharp presence of that entity inside of himself, in those times before it forced him out and used his body like its own personal puppet.  Even the Darkness of Nihility hadn't done that to him. 

"I know.  I know what it's like."  Fubuki's fingers slipped over the keys randomly, not making music but just touching, quietly.  "You're not the only one who has been possessed, you know."  For a breath he hesitated, then dipped his fingers inside of his coat and pulled out a card, setting it down.

Saiou glanced at it.  He'd never seen this card before but he knew what it was at once.  Darkness hadn't worn that form when it came to him, but it was familiar nevertheless.  "Darkness..."

"Yup.  Long story on there but I had that living in me for a couple of years."  Fubuki regarded it thoughtfully before he picked the card up and put it away. "But I can control it now.  It hasn't bothered me in years.  Sometimes i think it's gone altogether."  He shrugged.  "Point is, I know where you're coming from.  I've done things that I wish I hadn't too." For a few seconds, his eyes were distant, farther away than even a whole other world.  Then they sharpened and refocused, a brilliant smile wreathing his features.  "But you can't let it get you down.  So if you ever want to talk about it, let me know."

In all of his life, Saiou hadn't encountered someone who truly knew.  Edo tried and they were very close indeed, but it wasn't quite the same.  He suspected that Fujiwara had some ideas on the subject, but he'd never properly brought it up.  Those who had been part of the Society of Light - well, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to talk to them about.

Fubuki didn't have any of those problems.  Saiou didn't doubt for a second that he had problems - you didn't spend most of your life being able to read minds and not understand that about people - but Fubuki's issues would be different.  He found himself curious as to what they were - and curious as to a great deal of other things as well.

But for now, he raised his hands and set them on the keys again, this time remembering a different song that he'd created some time ago, and trying to remember all the notes.  Fubuki tilted his head, that same sharp listening expression in his eyes, and they started to create together once again.

The End

Notes: Getting caught up on Rare Pairs Week! I’m going to try to post two more tomorrow, but I can’t be certain.

[stardustpinkart]

Been playing "Hogwarts Mystery" game app, and it gace me ideas for two Ocs  So I figured draw some art on them.

Hazel Jones. Proceed to ramble off random info about her, or what I;ve figured out so far

Grew up in a wizard village in the countryside, old english style like something out of a picture book. Lots of surrounding woodland and hills and rivers to go exploring in. Hazel would spend all her time in nature, she loves both magic and normal animals and could happily spend hours outdoors.

She has a very kind heart and trys to see the good in everyone, even meaner characters(Filch, Merula.) She's not stupid she just tries her best to be nice and give credit where its due, she is very honest as part of this. However she is also brave when needby, trys to stick up for her friends or when things arent fair.

She actually sort of LIKES Snape because while nasty at times, he's brutally honest too? And that can be useful in lessons, she wants to get better at what she does and advice like "Just keep praticing you'll get the hang of it" is not very helpful.

She thinks all kinds of animals are cute, and that includes the more dangerous creatures XD Acromantulas, Mountain Trolls, Dragons. But luky she has a bit more sense, or at least learns in time, how to be more careful and handle them, shes not quite as oblvious as Hagrid or Kettleburn(though she is often seen hanging with both, they could talk creatures for hours).

Honest, kind, sweet, its rather hard to dislike Hazel though more hardhearted characters will deny any fondness vehemently.

Will grow up to be a Magizooligist In the game you can pick your partners, and I suppose you can just ignore it also if you wanted? I like to pair her with Barnaby, but as an aletrnative I also think Merula would be cute.

Tessa Sloane. I think everyone is a bit more curious/fed up with some of the old aspects of the HP world. Mainly how all Slytherins must be bad, Gryfindoors are all heros, etc. But I think its parlty a product of its time. The 90s, and orignally a kids book? A bit more black and white, who's bad who isent. Imagine if it was rewritten now with more dpeth and exploration? Like the lines of "Infinity Train". And what if the main characters where in diffrent houses? Thats one thing that kinda buggs me really, sticking to there own houses rather than make friends in other groups? it might have been more intresting for example if the Main Trio were all in diffrnet houses, but seeked each other out anyway? I mean isent that how real life works, its just a question of meeting the right people, certain parts of there perosnality or upbrigning shouldent matter

In this case, for a Slytherin, Tessa is actually prett nice. Shes like a normal girl. All this Pureblood and good manners and acting like you have a pole up your business is not her thing(sadly a lot of Slytherins seem to be this way which is a bit boring).

Her grandparents on both sides were these types, and her parents grew up miserable becuase of this. Proper behaviour, dont do anything to shame the family name, walking on eggshells having to be perfect.

So when they had Tessa they dident want her to go through the same misery and bullcrap they did. There loving if rather nervous people, due to there upbringing(victims of abuse), but they try to encourage there daughter to explore and find things out for herself, give her more freedom than they ever had

She loves her mum and dad, hates her grandparents. There total hatemongers, think along the lines of crazy ass christian families, act like everythings a sin, "No grandchild of mine is going to be a queer/muggle lover". MIND, I wonder if homosexuality would be a big deal in the Wizard world? Ive often seen in fics there a bit more openminded about it, infact its sometimes even tradition(doesnet matter who you marry as long as there magic). Thats an interesting idea, even with humans in the old days homosexuality wasent a big deal, but at some piont in history religions started deciding it was evil and people deserved to die for it.

Tessa is tomboyish, loud, snarky, does her own thing, which is not easy with the other members of her house. They tend to look down on her, she does not behave "properly". But not everyone is an ass, there are some nice Slytherins too. She lived in London with her parents, hidden in plain sight. There cover job when anyone asks I reckon is buisinessmen/women or bankers. As a result she grew up next to Muggles and most of her childhood friends were. They'd spend days riding bikes, skateboarding, football, stuff like that. That might partly be why she smore openminded, and likes a fair bit of Muggle Stuff. Especially Doctor Who. She also likes music and dancing(really good dancer). And maybe part of it is a giant middle finger to her narrowminded evil grandparents. Rebel against hateful ideas, refuse to be anything like them. A litttle teenage rebellion mixed it too I suppose. She doesnet like girly clothes, doesnet care for dresses and skirts they make her feel uncomfortable so wears pants as part of her uniform. Some schools have this option. I wonder if she had to fight the teachers and headmasters on this?

Usually deals with life with smart ass jokes and humour. Big Quidditch fan, plays on the school team. Maybe a Beater?

Crush, Penny Haywood. She likes her because shes so bubbly, cheerful and friendly.

[cherriesradio]

Valentines with Pro-Hero’s

(These are going to be much shorter then Monday’s because those tired me out of ideas lol, so are the rest cause school)

Tuesday

Hawks

Hawks woke you up by tickling you with his feathers, as he did most days. He wore his normal cheeky grin.

“K-Keigo!” You giggled. “St-stop it! I-I can, can barely breath!”

He laughed, quickly stopping.

After getting yourslef back together and waking up fully, you ask him what he wanted to do today, probably his only day off in months.

“Maybe just stay in? I never see you that much most of the time cause of work, so?”

“Staying in would be nice.” You shrugged. “Hm… wanna get five buckets of KFC?”

He kissed your forehead. “Sounds like a good ass time.”

You took the whole day watching movies and trash tv. You cuddled, trying very hard not to get crumbs all over yourselfs.

When after you shower, he wraps you in his wings and hugs you from behind, wanting to feel your soft, warm just-outta-the-shower skin.

You giggle, and hold onto his wings in front of you, running your hands through them.

Earning a rightfull chirp outta of Keigo, his bird like tendencies kicking in.

When you go to bed he has one wing and arm on top of you, the other held to his chest because his arms always fell asleep under you.

EraserHead

He groaned, really not wanting to have to go the school and watch all the students as each other out and kissing in the halls.

And of course, as normal, his loud groans woke you up.

“Muffin? Oh, groaning about work again?” You chuckle. He had woken up many hours before school, around 5 in the morning, as normal. You were used to this by now, and changed your schedule to fit it.

“Yeah… ya know, it’s Valentine’s Day today. I should be spending time with you, my lover, the perosn I’m married to, and not spend my whole day with a bunch of annoying, lovesick teenagers.”

You kissed his cheek, laying on your side. “You love them.”

He rolled his eyes, giving a small “maybe, maybe not.”

You smirked. “M’kay, muffin. I’m gonna go get breakfast, how about until you have to get ready, you just stay in bed?”

He smiled up at you and nodded. Clearly grateful for the offer.

You poured him his usually cereal, he hated every else, and poured some water, bringing it to him

He sat up when you walked in, a small smile on his face.

“Here ya go, muffin.” You kissed his cheek, sitting the food on the side table.

Once he went to work, you chilled out and stayed in bed, watching YouTube for the rest of the day.

Once he got home you yet him rant about how annoying it was to see his wonderful students get rejected, and how he found how some couple who had only been together for a few weeks already say “I love you”

All Might

He often got off days now, since he’s not the all powerful All Might, who is impossible to defeat anymore.

When he wakes up, he lets you sleep in. He would look down to your head leaning on his chest, and just smile.

Once you wake up he asks if you want to make breakfast with him, but your clearly tired and not having enough energy to make something yet.

So, he made you breakfast (and himself lol)

He came back to the bedroom with a grin, seeing you up and getting ready for the day.

“Hey Toshi!” You smiled from the closet, walking over to your husband and kissed his jawline. (This man is 7’2 what do you expect)

“Morning Darling, your finally awake!”

You nodded, and take his wrist, leading him to the dining table. “Come on, that food looks good, and I’m hungry.”

After a few hours to yourselves, you decided to visit the dorms with the students. Toshi said you should bring some food, so on the way you grabbed some dumplings.

“We’re here!” Toshi called loudly through the doors, startling everyone in the common room.

“All Might! Y/n!” Midoryia cheered, running up to you two from his spot on the couch.

“Good morning Midoryia my boy!” All Might smiled.

“Hey kiddo.” You smiled, walking into the kitchen and setting down the dumplings. “We got dumplings, kiddos.” 

Everyone came into the common room for some food.

Some stayed and chatted to you and the others for a while, while others came down and thanked you, going back to their dorms quickly.

Once the day and ended and you were back on the way to your shared house…

“Toshi? Are you even tired yet?” You said, looking up at him, just barely able to get his features in because of the dim moonlight.

“Not that much. I mean, I was really tired after Midoryia insisted on training for a few hours, but after a while that went away.”

“Hm. I’m not that tired either. What do you wanna do?”

A large smile spread on his face, something that seemed so rare now with how troubled he was with the league of villians. Yet tonight, had he already smiled like that a million and one times.

“The night life with All Might and the love of his life!” He cheered, quickly leading you to a local cafe that knew you two by first name.

You played a ton of board games, and had a great night with some friends.

Night life with Toshi is very wholesome.

Fat Gum

Being who he is, aka someone who is very proud of being a hero and enjoys it, decided maybe he should work on Valentines Day. You are his partner, after all.

You lived in two separate apartments, simply because you liked having your own spaces. And you both loved your apartments, why bother to move?

(COUPLES ARE STILL COUPLES IF THEY DONT LIVE TOGETHER EVEN IF ITS SERIOUS!!!!!!!)

So, you go work just like normal. You bring flowers for Toyo, even if some of your friends said “boys don’t want flowers!”

Either way, Toyo definitely had some of Kirishima’s “I will accept and support everyone!” Mindset, so it wouldn’t be a problem.

Once you got to work and went up to his office, he was standing looking out the window. You forgot you came earlier than normal, so he looking for you on the streets now.

“Toyo?” You title your head, walking towards him. He twists he head to you and gasps.

“Your early! Becoming a early bird or just excited?” He smiled.

You nodded and shrugged. “Eh, your warring off on me. You gotta stop sending me good morning texts at 5 am.”

He laughs and offers you some snacks he bought before he came to work.

For most of the day it’s the normal, goofing around, Kirishima and Tamaki come by to visit for a hour or two, and patrol.

Once woke was done, you went to his house.

And because something about today had to be special, you collectively decided to try to cook a big meal.

You had cooked together before, but that was mostly “Put this stuff together and stick it in the oven for a hours then let it cool for a hour” kinda stuff

But this was something PRO CHEIFS SHOULD DO, NOT PRO HEROS

but you didn’t care, as long as you follow the instructions you should be fine.

But because onions are gross (I’m sorry if you onions 😔) and because you didn’t want random things in because “they’ll make it taste werid”

Yeah you didn’t follow instructions

In the end you just ordered the same food, and it was much better.

That night you cuddle while you slept, his hands in your hair and your head tucked into his neck.

Fin.

[heffrcns]

william schofield x wife reader (headcanons)

this is another request, so i hope you all like it <3 (not to be confused with the will x stenographer headcanons, this is a completely separate request and i’m still considering a part 3 for the stenographer ones!)

also THANK YOU for the amazing support and feedback over my last few pieces, it’s really appreciated :,) enjoyyy

will, or as he was currently known: lance corporal schofield, was counting down the days until he could return to you

well, more like praying every morning that it could be the day that the war ends

because he couldn’t count down the days to something that he didn’t know the date of

back home, you were doing the exact same

hoping, praying, pleading that any day your front door would open, to reveal your beloved husband

and the worst part: it had only been a few months since he left

and recently, you’d been getting sudden waves of sickness, that would come and go whenever they felt like it

even the idea of getting your hands on favourite food, which should of been a dream due to rations, made you feel queasy

you ignored it at first, blaming it on the fact you felt uneasy at the thought of will being out there, fighting for his life

but it got to the point where it got so bad, you had to do something about it

so you went to see your local doctor, deciding maybe it was for the best

just to be on the safe side

you went there expecting just to be told to rest, and that it would pass within the next couple of days

which was the exact response you got - after a few tests were taken that you’d get the results back for a few days after

so a few days passed, nothing unusual happened, except a wave of your reoccurring sickness feeling

but a completely different kind of sickness hit the pit of your stomach when you opened the test results, originally not thinking much of them

pregnancy: positive

no no no no no

your mind clouded with so many thoughts, worries, queries, etc, that your brain couldn’t keep up with itself

before the panic started to fully set in, you decided to read down the paper a little more

it says approximate length of pregnancy: 12 weeks

which, after some quick mental arithmetic, you figured was about right

will left about 11 weeks ago, which adds up perfectly

‘but it hasn’t worked out perfectly, has it?’ you thought to yourself

that was precisely the problem

will left 11 weeks ago

and you were there, now pregnant with his baby, and he can’t be there to share the moment with you

so you had to write to him

immediately

without a second thought, you frantically grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, beginning to scribble away

your handwriting had never looked messier, but you didn’t care as long as it was readable

will had to know as soon as possible

because although you wished nothing more than to tell him in perosn

this was the next best thing

so as soon as the rushed yet so very important letter was complete, you sprung off to get it posted

already, even with just a walk to the post office, you couldn’t help be aware of the tiny human growing inside you

and you thought about how your bump would be showing very soon

with the child of you and your beloved husband

okay so, it of course took a short while for your letter to finally reach will

he was expecting one sometime soon anyway, as you promised to write to him as regularly as possible

but oh boy, was he not expecting what this particular one had in store

a smile reached his face when one of the officers handed him the letter with his name on, instantly recognising your handwriting on the envelope

so he wasted no time into ripping it open, looking forward to reading about what you’ve been up to

you started your letter as you usually would

telling about what you’ve been doing, asking him how he is, etc

but he instantly noticed your shaky writing, causing his eyebrows to furrow in slight confusion

he then read further down, to where the reasoning behind your shaky writing all become too clear

‘oh and by the way, i have some big news... i may or may not be pregnant. with your baby. you’re going to be father, will. we’re going to be parents. so please come back to me soon. come back to us.’

and will? well, he spontaneously combusted upon reading those words

he was going to be DAD?!??

the biggest, widest grin spread across his face, as he felt like the entire world stopped around him

he held the letter to his chest, closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, picturing you at home, pregnant with his baby boy/girl

which is when he thought - he definitely wants a girl

a beautiful baby girl that takes after her mother, but still has some of his features to show that that’s his daughter

his ray of sunshine

will was so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice blake approach him

“what’s got you looking like the cat that got the cream? your girl send you a raunchy photo or something?” tom smirked, trying to peer at the letter still held against will’s chest

“no, i’m going to be a dad. y/n is pregnant” he beamed, oh how that sentence felt so good leaving his mouth

the other lance corporal’s eyes widened is shock, before matching the grin that was still on will’s face, holding his hand out

“oh wow, congratulations! that’s amazing”

“i know, right” will shook tom’s hand, “i’ve never wanted to be able to escape this place more than i do now, not even during that battle the other day”

“soon, will. it’ll be soon, i’m sure” blake affirmed, giving a determined nod to his companion

will returned the gesture, before blake walked off, probably going to tell all the other guys about his friend’s exciting news

blake did love to tell stories

will however, stayed put

he read over the paragraph again, heart pounding at the thought of starting a family with the love of his life

he was thinking about getting some paper to write back, to tell you just how exited he was about the news

but he stayed there a little longer, his grip on the letter tight, as he pondered over the words that he read again, and again

oh, how he couldn’t wait to return home to his little family

thank you for reading - i’m deciding to post it now, so i don’t overthink every single bullet point i’ve written lmao

masterlist

[ziracona]

Sorry if this has been asked before but, I'm really curious about how you would have written Max in the story if he were to be there? He's one of my personal favorite characters and finding redemption stories about him is kinda hard (You have no idea how happy I was when I read Claudette threw him a scarf to stay warm, like yes please; he's a feral child in a killer's body, but please stay warm)

I don’t think I have been, and no problem!

If Max had had a larger role in ILM, I am not 100% sure how I’d have written his perosnality, since I haven’t had to do it yet in-depth, but I know he’d be very angry and both defensive and aggressive towards everything, warry, skittish, hostile. Not bad necessarily, but humans will raise hackles and be ready to lash out and bite if they’ve all they’ve ever known is abuse the same way a mistreated cat or dog would, or like, most any living thing. I think he’s very lonely and unloved, and it’s hard for humans to survive without positive contact and affirmation and physical affection. I mean, if we’re left alone totally, we literally just die. But since his only experience with humans—and his parents/the people who should have loved him most no less—was nothing but danger and abuse and isolation and imprisonment, I think it’d be very hard for him to be approached. Not at all impossible, but man, it is really, really hard to convince someone who’s been through torrential rains of abuse that there’s something else to be given.

I do have ideas on how you could get through, but let me think about personality first. Well, aside from aggressive, defensive, skittish, warry, and hostile, like inborn traits to go along with learned, I think he is a very volatile person. He must be enduring and strong to survive what he did and live, and so determined and tenacious. —Oh! Hang on, big one before I forget. So, I am not a forefront authority in Disability as it relates to narrative, but I know quite a bit and was lucky enough to have a professor whose central areas were Disability, Horror, and Disability in Horror. I don’t know who exactly popularized the idea of Max as having basically a child’s mind in an adult’s killer body, though I think I’ve been told it was one person or story? Maybe it was just a big fandom take. But that’s one of the most prevailing and harmful disability stereotypes, especially for mental disabilities, and horror is a massive offender in general with both disabilities and disorders, and we need to do better & listen to the communities themselves more. I don’t mean this in a harsh way at all—I don’t even know if you meant ‘feral child in a killer’s body’ that way, or meant like, ‘this feral man in a killer’s body is my child TuT’—which is a totally different statement—and even with the former, I know people have had that idea of Max super popularized and are inundated with it, and most people I think just don’t know it’s a very harmful and prevalent stereotype period—I didn’t until I was in my 20s. But I think it’s important to bring attention to it when it’s brought up. Many of the bad things done to people with disabilities come from treating them as not fully actualized humans (I guess I should say ‘us’), and some of those ways are easy to spot, because they’re cruel, and some are harder, because they seem positive. The ‘child mind in an adult body’ is a huge one for disabilities that doesn’t seem awful at first glance, but actually is a huge problem. Unfortunately, human children also get treated by and large as not fully realized humans (as in autonomous & worthy of respect and self-determination—obvs there are some differences that are important, but a child is still an entire ass human & should be respected as such). The painting a physically and mentally disabled character as childlike or mentally trapped as a child is used to control and take autonomy and gravity from our opinions and lives. It’s also just like, not accurate. But the biggest thing is that it takes agency from individuals and paints them as less intelligent, less capable of wanting or pursing more ‘adult’ things [such as jobs or sex or protesting for their rights or having informed opinions on current events and doing something about it], and tries to paint that permanent, life-long dehumanization as a positive thing by making it cute or innofenssive at first glance. While still discounting disabled as kids, passing off autonomy and decisions to their caregivers, and ignoring our status as equal and actualized individuals. Stunted learning or growth or different ways of speaking, moving, and limitations understanding certain things don’t actually make disabled people like children. They’re just adults who sometimes have some very different ways of speaking or thinking or seeming or being. But it’s super important that we’re still adults and like, have the actualized self of adults, even if our speech patterns seem weird. There’s a huge and extremely important difference between an adult with social hangups around sensitive areas and social norms, and being a child. If you didn’t know any of that, don’t feel too bad, again like, people who aren’t disabled almost never talk about disability theory or issues, and I didn’t know this till I was in my 20s. But I feel really bad for Max and bad about how he is usually characterized, so it is important to bring this up.

Okay! That all said, I think personality wise, Max would be really fun to write. Because you have two levels—you have the taught things—fear, aggression, etc, and his inborn perosnality. There is very little canon about Max, but we know he never left home after freeing himself, he steals clothes from scarecrows or whatever he can find, and he’s probably in his early 20s or maybe to his mid 20s now. Since he never left home, I’d think he’s probably a little more cautious and anctious by nature, even with all that rage. I think he’d be sentimental if he ever was given something to love. He must have attachment to things pretty easily, and would I think have liked people a lot because of that, if life had been different. Would have been a shy but friendly and hopeful farm boy. Now, he’s kind of a broken mess, sadly. He’s had it super pounded in by family he is worthless and horrific and disgusting and a monster and an abomination, so I think he expects all humans to take one look and violently feel the same towards him. Taught humans are cruel, and he isn’t safe with them, and the only thing that will stop them and protect himself is unchecked aggression.

So, when it comes to like, getting close enough to him to redeem him, it’s rough, because again, he’d be very very aggressive. I mean, even after killing his parents, he mutilated the animals on the farm in rage, and continued to viciously hurt and then kill anything living he could find on the farm, so he’s got a lot of danger, and he really leaned into violence to protect himself. It’s what he knows now. I think he’s still lonely — like, so lonely he’s sick with it — but unlike Anna and Michael, he’s never known love, so I don’t think he’s even aware of that, and it’s on a pretty subconscious level. Plus, he has even less understanding of human communication and rules and gestures than the other feral killers, so it’d be really hard to get through to him. I think about the only plausible way is really, really, really fuckin slowly, through repeated gifts and kindnesses for no reason (like Claude with the scarf but every day for three years)—the same way you’d try to get through to a feral cat, since like other living things, humans also are wary and mistrustful when hurt, but can be socialized into new situations and do have a pretty set list of gifts and actions we appreciate. I mean, if I was feral, I would start to soften if repeatedly left chocolates and big warm coats and picture books to look at, pretty rocks. I have a crow heart.... >.> Or, the much more likely option, you’d have to catch him or find him captured and helpless, and then be kind instead of doing anything bad at all, and help him for a somewhat extended period of time, nurse him back to health or such, so he’d be forced to actually realize this person isn’t trying to hurt him—they’re trying to help.

I think Max would get less hostile slowly and cautiously because like, if you’ve ever been horribly abused you know you’re afraid to be hurt again. But also, if you’re alone, there’s a battle between wanting some kind of constact and love, and the fear of trying to trust someone only to be brutally torn up again and cast aside. It’s a painful place to be. But I think once he made it over that initial trust hurdle, and could bring himself to stop shuddering at a touch and to believe the person helping him was just trying to give him food, not poison or something to choke on, he’d be absolutely overcome, becuase if you’ve never been shown kindness and then are, overwhelmingly, it’s really hard to process. There’s a lot of psychology stuff about how we form our understandings and processing of each other and the world that I’m not gonna go into much bc convoluted, but it’d be like the opposite weirdly of a Just World break. The realization some things are less awful than your cemented life understanding structure. It would feel wrong and be hard to process (and rewireing a brain takes some time), but he’s been so alone for so long, I think the longing for people would get through, and he would cautiously start to trust and be just bowled over and kind of intimidated by the strength of like, the love and affection and gratitude and belonging he’d start to feel. I think he’d be afraid, becuase it’s not how life is meant to go, and jumpy, but he’d also just be lost to the happiness of actually having some kind of positive human connection, and become fiercely protective of whoever (or whichever people) was/were helping him. Got something he doesn’t want to lose now.

He’s young, so he’s going to still be figuring stuff out, and he had an awful upbringing, so lots of confusion and anger and un-learning too, but I’m really glad you liked that scene!! 😭 and that you like Max too, because he needs more love. I like him a lot too, that’s why he ends up with an undetermined fate instead of, like, dead in ILM. I’d like to give him a fully story role sometime, when there’s more space for it. He’s such a complex and unfortunate guy, he deserves a chance to grow more right and find people who are different and have a better future. TuT. It ain’t fair how his life was.

[doc-pickles]

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p. 1)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

More Jolex on your timeline because y’all seemed to love what I posted before! Also I’ve posted this whole piece on AO3 as well so it might look familiar.  

this idea came to me in a fever dream and i am not sorry that y'all have to deal with it. 99% of this fic will be in "texting" format, so be prepared for that. 

Jo is regular Alex is italics

Saturday 11:04 PM

heeeeey is thiss doctor evil?

I gotta say ur phone sex namee needs sum weerk

u soud like a comic book village 

fuck

village

VILLAIN

Who the hell is this? And how did you get my number? 

i’m just a girl at thee bar!!!! 

Joe’s Bar?

noooooo

i’m at enerlad city bar

You didn’t answer my question. 

u asked a quesitoon?

whata was it?

i’m goos at takifjg tests 

How’d you get my number?

it qas in the bathrooom!!!

it said “for a good tiem txt dr evil spawne” 

so I did

I am ready to havee fun

You’re drunk, obviously, and I’m going to have to kill Cristina for putting my number up. 

ooooooh is thatt ur girleifnd?

hirlefiend 

girlfriend**

Wow you’re really gone. And hell no, she’s my roommate. One of them. 

ooooh how many do u hav

roomees not girlfriends 

Three. Two girls and a dude. 

intereeesting...

well it’s tome for fireball shoots

steph is yeeling at me 4 txting too much

goodbey doctor eviel apawn!!

Oh lord. Tell Steph you need water. Or an IV. 

I’ve got her. she’s throwing up on her shoes. thanks doctor. - steph

  Sunday 10:11 AM

You know you’re pretty funny, Bar Girl. 

jesus christ what fucking time is it?! 

10 AM

I’m assuming you have a massive hangover. 

hold on I can’t hear you over the sound of me vomiting

TMI as the kids say these days. 

what’re you a grandpa or something?? 

No I just don’t know how to use text lingo. Except WTF. I know that one very well. 

quick question

who the fuck are you?

Dr. Evil Spawn. You found my name graffitied in the bathroom of Emerald City Bar. 

holy shit

I thought I dreamed that... WHAT THE FUCK

Nope. I’m real. 

holy shit i’m so sorry

my texts were so annoying

Who hurt you? I mean you were shitfaced, I’m assuming someone broke your heart into tiny pieces. 

the opposite actually, I was at a bachelorette party

not mine, i’m so single it hurts

Ahhh that makes sense. So you got shitfaced in solidarity? 

exactly you get it

you seem like you’d be the DD at a bachelorette party

Well seeing as I’m a dude I don’t do Bachelorette parties. 

Well I did go to one, but that’s a different story.  

hmmm you seem like a very interesting man doctor evil spawn 

going to bachelorette parties, living with women who aren’t your girlfriend 

OMG ARE YOU DATING THE GUY YOU LIVE WITH?!

George? No absolutely not. And before you ask, my other girl roommate is gay. 

so you’re single?

i’m only asking so when you murder me the police have as much information as possible

Haha very funny. I would be a terrible murderer. 

you didn’t answer my question

Fine. Yes I’m single. 

i’ll note that in the “serial killer file” i’m building 

gotta go, I have to do work :/

Have fun, don’t die. 

  Sunday 8:38 PM

Arizona is trying to set me up on a blind date. 

who’s arizona?

My gay roommate. She wants me to meet this “bubbly blonde” she knows from her pilates class. 

ahhhh. why don’t you go?

Bubbly blonde is not my type. Sounds like she’ll spend the whole date talking about how much she loves dogs or her knitting hobby. 

Plus she does pilates, that tells me more than enough. 

you’re making some good points. I don’t pity you. 

You better not. How was work?

the longest day of my life

it was just paperwork, I don’t actually work on the weekends

What do you do?

hmmmm that’s exactly what a serial killer would say

i’m an elementary school teacher

Oh so you sing and dance and paint pictures all day?

what school did you go to?

were working on multiplication tables and basic photosynthesis tomorrow

Wow that sounds like a lot.

it’s may, ive got three weeks of school left so I have to cram all the crap we didn’t cover into these last few weeks 

Ahhh that sounds more accurate.

and what do you do? 

besides text strangers that you don’t know

I’m a pediatrician. 

oh so you make kids cry and wipe snotty noses all day? two can play at that game

Well we both have to deal with snotty noses sooo...

I GET IT!! Doctor Evil Spawn!! 

why evil spawn though? 

I wasn’t this nice when I started med school. My personality is an acquired taste. 

ha! that’s a funny joke. 

so if you’re a fancy schmancy doctor why do you live with three other people?

I’m only a resident, not making the big bucks yet. Everyone else is a doctor too. 

are they all pediatricians?

No. Arizona is too but Cristina is a cardiologist and George is a trauma specialist. 

interesting!! I too live with my coworkers. it’s not fun. 

the table is always covered in craft supplies. 

Well I can never read the grocery list on the fridge. Stupid doctors script...

oh that’s a classic. you’re pretty funny Dr. Evil Spawn

Thanks Bar Girl. 

I gotta go. monday tomorrow and you know how fourth graders can be. night!! 

Night . 

  Monday 9:47 AM

there’s not enough coffee in the world for monday mornings. 

  Monday 10:52 AM 

Sorry I was yelling at the interns. We have a decent coffee cart here. Keeps me alive. Are you texting in class?

no it was recess

now they’re at spanish class

i’m not totally irresponsible 

Oh good to know the future of America is in good hands. Teacher Princess is “not totally irresponsible”

teacher princess?

Well, Cinderella lost her shoe, you puked on yours. Same thing. 

wooooooooow

that was so uncalled for...

I thought it was funny. Gotta go set a broken arm. 

broken arm vs. adverbs... can we switch? have fun lol

  Monday 3:26 PM

I don’t even think I know what an adverb is. 

how did you become a doctor??

Don’t need to know adverbs to fix a couple broken bones and snuffy noses. 

oh darn I should’ve gone to school for seven more years then

Haha. How were the adverbs?

better than expected, grading papers while I wait for my roomies to be done

we carpool, saving the environment and shit

Okay Eco Warrior.

you text like a 60 year old man

you’re not a 60 year old man are you?

No I’m a 28 year old man though

28 a doctor and you’re single? your personality must be worse than you described 

I’m a busy man, I don’t have time to settle down. And I have no desire to. 

yet you have time to text a complete stranger? 

hmmmm interesting...

Ouch, that one hurt Princess. 

steph is making me socialize with the other teachers

if I don’t respond, they killed me or dragged me to an essential oil party

Hahahaha

  Monday 5:18 PM

Did you get roped into a pyramid scheme?

nooo but therew as wine

I should sotp drunk texting you so often 

It makes your presence that much more entertaining. And bearable. 

woah woah dude

i’m a gem 

I can tell. Elementary school teacher with a heart of gold. 

awwww your too sweet tome

It’s a Monday. Who the hell gets drunk on a Monday?

teachers

we deserve it

You’re a teacher and you’re single and still going to Bachelorette parties. You’re what, 23? 

i’m 25 and i’m doing greta thanks you very nuch 

cnat believe that i’m supplying my perosnal info to a serial killer

What makes you so sure that I’m a mass murderer? 

ur weird nickname and ur intimate knowledge of the himan body

Mmm yes well a good amount of women do find themselves screaming around me often. Or under me. On top of me...

omg are you sending me dirty jokes

you’re crazy 

What can I say. 

Gotta go, I’m on call tonight. Get to bed safe, Bar Princess. 

mmmkay thanks Doc

  Wednesday 11:29 AM

What do you think is worse: School lunch or hospital food?

hospital food, no doubt

thursday is mac and cheese day here... I could bathe in that stuff

We have Spaghetti Wednesday but that’s the only good thing here. 

mmm how depressing

the teachers do a pot luck once a month and that’s always good

the art teacher next door to me makes the BEST blueberry muffins. 

Lucky. All I get here is vending machine cookies. Anything interesting happening in the elementary world? 

a first grader got lice last week so naturally we all have it now

I had to chop off six inches of my hair

Holy crap. Lice can be vicious, be thankful you didn’t have to shave your head. 

it feels like I did, my hair hasn’t been above my shoulders since the backstreet boys were still touring

Wow. I’m glad to know you’re well cultured. 

of course I am

gotta go, kids are back from music class

Don’t be too hard on them, they deserve a break every once in awhile. 

  Thursday 3:06 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Jenna you forgot your lunch pail. Have a good day!”

“Hello?”

“Hi Mrs. Peters. I didn’t grade Henry’s test yet, I’ll have it tomorrow. Thanks bye!”

“Helloooo?”

“Steph I gotta grab my things, I’ll be there in a seco- oh shit. Hello?”

“Bar Princess?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn? I must’ve butt dialed you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay I... I don’t mind the interruption. Are you leaving work?”

“Just about, we’re wrapping up the solar system and I have to bring home the diorama.”

“I was never good at the models, I prefer working with the real thing.”

“Oh ho, a man that works with his hands. I can appreciate that.”

“You know now we’re officially talking and we still don’t know each other’s names.”

“Well around here I’m Miss Wilson, but you can call me Jo.”

“Jo. Hmm I like chicks with dudes names. I’m Dr. Karev but you can call me Alex.”

“Well nice to kinda meet you Alex. I’ll talk to you soon, I gotta get out of here.”

“Talk to you later.”  

  Thursday 4:34 PM

I wouldn’t mind if you were my teacher.

how did I know you’d send me something along those lines

I’m predictable. I’m still calling you Bar Princess. 

as you wish doctor evil spawn

I get to assist on a surgery today. Tonsillectomy. 

like removing tonsils? that’s awesome

for you, not for the kid

Oh she’ll be fine, she gets ice cream and jello for a week.  

okay yeah I might be jealous of her now

id love to be off work for a week and have you waiting on me hand and foot

the ice cream is a nice bonus

You think that’s my job?

well you said you aren’t making the big bucks yet so.... yeah 

Keep dreaming. I’ll talk to you later, gotta scrub in. 

have fun!!!!

[ambidexterous-lesbian]

A different approach to gender

Hi, here is the low-down on who I am and why I’m posting this: I’m a 22 year old trans woman from North Carolina. I grew up in a backwards ass town, and I got into philosophy when I was about 15. When I was 20, I had several things happen (life events, surfacing memories) that lead me to the conclusion that I was transgender. I’ve been in transition since then, and the whole time I have searched for some sort of philosophical justification about why I am this way. Why it is that I can have this identity, and it be respected. I’ve been through all the iterations of transpolitics, talked to other trans people, talked to GC feminist, and turned ideas over again and again in my head. Ultimately I don’t aim to invalidate anyone, in fact the opposite is true. We, the trans community, aim to welcome and validate all identities, and yet, the current state of discourse is appalling. We’re arguing left and right, and the thing that we all want to believe, that we are all valid, often gets fucked and twisted by the people who stand against us. It is truly my belief that this is because the most progressive policy (that people simply *are* what they identify as) has no philosophical backbone. So, this post is going to try to take you through my own reasonings on the matter, and how I did in fact arrive at the conclusion that people are what they say they are.

### Part One: The Female Brain/Soul or some other shit

When I first came out, I latched onto the classic narrative of being “trapped in the wrong body” it was simple, it was to the point, and it provided a since of validity by staking some claim that gender exist in the soul. Now there are other variations of this stance, some of which argue the same from a biological stand point. Regardless, most of these views break down into some kind of essentialist thinking. In my case, I believed I was a woman, on some plane of existence was my soul, and that was the soul of a woman, but what does that even mean? What are the essential qualities of womanhood? Was it the fact that I liked doing dishes? That I saw myself as weak? Or was it that I liked to be held? I do not see how any answer to that question doesn’t harken back to the olden days where white men wrote books about “the fragility of womanhood”.

Now, there are other issues here. For example, let us say that sometime in the next few years I reexamine my life and come to the conclusion that all this trans shit was hogwash and detransition. I wouldn’t be the first, and I wouldn’t be the last. Hypothetically, every trans person could come to the conclusion that they were wrong about their identity, and change it. They apply some other label to themselves then what they currently use, and hell every cis perosn could do the same and become trans. Here is what I know, I spent twenty years shamelessly living as a man. For a lot of that time I was happy, and I was secure in my identity. Now, because I identify as a woman *now*, some trans activist will argue that I was ALWAYS a woman, and therefore invalidate my identity as a man. Alternatively I could start identifying as non-binary, by doing that do I retroactively invalidate myself as a woman? Is the conclusion to be drawn that I was just trying to figure things out? Now, all of these are possibilities, so how is it that we can make the assertion that the “X is a Y” in any immutable sense? We simply can’t.

There are also some arguments in this vain that propose that there is some inherent biological thing that makes one trans. Conveniently, this mystical structure has yet to be identified. Even if it was I find it hard to believe that the trans community will accept it, because inevitably someone, lacking in the component, will identify as trans, and then we’d make up some other reason as to why they’re valid. So, here’s the skinny: arguing that transness, or gender, is anything more than something socially constructed has some pretty terrible implications. Either it breaks down into something sexist, or some kind of unenforceable gate keepery that we have fought so hard against.

### Part Two: Whateverism and Performativity

Performativity is a school of thought that was originally presented by Judith Butler in 1991, the basic premise being this: Gender exist as a set of socially constructed roles and expectations, and ones gender is determined by how they fit into and fill those roles. When co-opted by trans people though, this creates a bit of an issue. A trans woman is only valid assuming she fills the societal ideal of womanhood, thus reinforcing the sexist ideas found in that ideal. Meaning that when asking a trans woman why she is a woman, she parrots back all these sexist ideas about fragility, and daintiness, it is because, according to this paradigm, that is what being a woman is.

There are a lot of trans people that recognise the sexism here, and the fact that it invalidates many trans people who fail to live up to a societal ideal, as well as non-binary individuals. Because of this, there is a new school of thought that I've dubbed whateverism. This is the one that makes little sense to most people. The idea that it's whatever, that it doesn't matter what people wear or look like, but simply that they say they are a thing and are therefore a thing. This is the one I take the most issue with, because as of right now it exist as a liberal attempt to be all inclusive, and in doing so renders language almost entirely meaningless. This is the school of thought that 52 genders exist in, not as 52 cumulative categories and sub-categories, but as a multitude of distinct separate entities. This is the biggest divide among trans individuals right now, and for that reason it is what I'd like to argue for.

### Part Three: Pragmatism

There is a school of epistemological thought known as pragmatism. It preaches that a thing is true if it is beneficial to consider that thing true. The best example of it being used is in the field of psychology. A person is not schizophrenic because of some inherent brain issue, or because they simply present the symptoms of schizophrenia, rather they are schizophrenic because they do have a set of experiences, and it is *beneficial* to consider them schizophrenic. Put another way: We label someone as schizophrenic because it allows us to contextualise their experience a certain way, an prescribe treatment based on that experience.

In the same way, gender exist as a framework through which we contexualise our experience, it is a tool that provides us with a way of understanding ourselves. Most of us have had that framework handed to us at birth, and conditioned to think and behave in a way that conforms to the behaviours and experiences in societies framework of that gender. Now, I'm not arguing that this isn't bad, or that society wouldn't be better off without it, instead I am simply saying that everyone, trans and cis alike, uses the framework of gender to think about themselves. Some people are able to overcome the worse aspects of whichever set of ideas they've been handed, and some people are not. For some people the act of labeling themselves non-binary, allows them to think of themself outside of the shitty framework they've been handed. This is the source of all the female non-binaries, of all the people who choose this label and profess themselves to be enby, without changing much about their presentation or physiology.

So, it's obvious that I agree that gender is bullshit, that it's a made up thing that is oppressive, and yet I still identify as a woman, and see my identity as valid. The reason being is that for some reason, the framework of masculinity is not something I can overcome. Maybe it's because I like to wear dresses, maybe it's because I like dick and harbour some internalised homophobia, but ultimately it doesn't matter because it is healthier for me to identify as a woman, that identity conflicts less with the person I find myself to be, and all the hormones and the dress-up serve to validate that view of myself, and put me in a better state for fighting the oppression that all of us face under gender.