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janeyseymour · 6 months ago

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Sneaky Link

Summary: A request from an anon- Secret relation between R and Melissa, Ava flirting with reader until Melissa breaks and threatens to take a Edith houghton to her

WC: ~3.9k

Not edited in the slightest and written in a depressive era lol enjoy

It’s funny the way the world works out for you. It always has been, and it probably always will be. So when Melissa Schemmenti, the known regular at one of the bars you’re also a regular at, comes sauntering up to you after a long day of searching for jobs and interviewing with what seems to be no such luck- well, you think maybe the universe really was looking out for you.

And that was months ago. Now, you and that hot, tough on the outside but soft on the inside, teacher have been together since that night. It’s… it’s something special. You thank whatever high power there is out there for bringing her to you on that one night when you really needed someone.

The thing that the universe hasn’t done in your favor? Given you a job. Until…

“Babe!” Melissa calls you as you’re leaving one of the schools you’ve been subbing at.

You smile at her voice. You always do. “Hey. What’s up?”

“We’re still on for dinner tonight?”

“Of course we are,” you chuckle softly. “I would never give up the opportunity to see my beautiful woman. That isn’t why you called though, is it?”

“No,” she admits. “I was just talking with my principal, and she said that they are for sure hiring a new second grade teacher over the summer. Do you want me to throw your name into the ring and put a good word in for you?”

“How about you let me go so I can drive to your place, and we can talk about it over dinner?” you suggest. “And you drive safe too?”

“You know I never drive safe unless I have you in my car- precious cargo,” she teases you softly. “But okay. I’ll see you in a bit, mi amore.”

That night, the two of you chat about the position opening up at her school. As it turns out, the position is for another second grade teacher, and if you were to get the job, your room would be right next to hers.

“I don’t know,” you sigh softly as you lay your head down in her lap. “I just… I want to get the job on my own terms, not be a shoo in because I have the world’s hottest teacher in my corner.”

“That would be you, mi amore,” she says quietly as she weaves her fingers through your hair. “But that’s fine. I do think you should apply though. You would be a great addition to the team, and you would get to be on my team and balance out Janine with all of her energy.”

“You know I have just as much energy sometimes,” you chuckle as you reach for the television remote.

“Yeah,” your girlfriend laughs. “But I find it endearing with you.”

“Because we’re dating.”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

You end up applying for the job, and when you go in, it’s quite easy to see how the redhead has maintained working here for so long. It’s a rundown school where she can make a difference- she refuses to burn out for the sake of the children. And you’ll refuse to burn out for the sake of the children right with her if you end up getting hired here.

The secretary leads you back to the conference room where there sits a panel. It’s clear who the principal is, but then soon either side of her are two women. One who you know from Melissa’s stories is Barbara Howard, and the other is… It’s Melissa herself. It takes everything in you to not chastise her for being a part of your interview, or for at least not giving you a warning- especially after you had spoken with her on the phone earlier that morning about how nervous you were for the interview. You’ll have to save that for after your interview.

“Well, hello there,” Ava’s eyes rake you up and down. “Principal Coleman, and this is Barbara Howard and Melissa Schemmenti- two of Abbott’s finest teachers. Although, you may just join Red in the running for hottest teacher here.”

If this were not a professional setting, you would quip that you could never stand a chance up against your girlfriend, but you’re interviewing, and you know nobody at work knows of her relation to you. So you press your lips together in a fine line and reach out to shake each of their hands. While you meet both Ava’s and Barbara’s eyes, it is much harder for you to look at those green eyes you usually love to see.

The interview is- well, it’s somewhat of a joke. Barbara and Melissa ask you the more sensible questions about classroom management, behavior plans, and lessons, while the principal asks you what your favorite reality tv show is and how you would survive on a deserted island if you needed to. Nevertheless, they all seem impressed with your responses, both to the professional and unprofessional questions that were thrown your way.

You’re told to stay out in the hall for a few minutes while they deliberate, and you’re dying to know what’s being said about you in the conference room you’re hovering outside of. It takes all of five minutes before you’re being called back into the room by Melissa herself, who is nothing if not professional.

“I have one more question for you,” the principal states seriously. You nod and smile nervously. “When are you able to start?”

“A-are you offering me the position?” you ask, eyebrows raised in surprised. You thought for sure they would be asking to see a demo lesson or something of the sort.

“Hell yeah we are,” Ava grins. “Abbott could use a hottie like you.”

Because you’re so busy shaking the principal’s hand and accepting the position, you miss the glare that your girlfriend sends her boss. You’re stuck there for a bit signing papers before you’re shown to your classroom by Barbara and Melissa- Ava claiming she’s trying to catch up on her newest reality television show. They end up giving you a tour of the school before handing you the curriculum binder and seeing you out.

“We’ll see you for development week, dear,” the kindergarten teacher smiles at you. “We’re very excited for you to join our team.”

Melissa just nods, hellbent on keeping up her tough South Philly girl act. You smile at them as you head out of the building. As soon as you’re in your car, you text your girlfriend.

What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be in my interview this morning?

We’ll talk when I come over, okay? Her response is almost immediate. It’s quickly followed by a, Congratulations, mi amore.

As soon as she pulls up to your townhouse, you’re standing outside on your front stoop with your arms folding over your chest as you stare her down. She comes running up your steps and pulls you into a hug, kissing your temple, then your cheek, then your nose, and then finally your lips. For as annoyed as you are with her, you do end up kissing her back.

“Lissa,” you say sternly.

“I’m so proud of you for getting the position,” she tells you as she rests her forehead against yours.

“Thank you,” you smile softly. But then your face drops again. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to be in my interview?”

She leads you back into your house and kicks off her shoes before sighing. “I didn’t know that I was going to be in your interview. It was supposed to be Janine, but she got sick and called out last minute. Someone from the second grade team had to be there, and by the time Ava had called me, I knew you were already in a tizzy, and I didn’t want to stress you out any more than you already were.”

You bring her into the kitchen where you already have some of the ingredients out for dinner, along with a bottle of champagne. “I just… I wasn’t expecting to see you there. It threw me off, and all of my words and thoughts got all jumbled up in my head while I tried to keep my eyes off of my insanely hot girlfriend.”

“Trust me when I tell you that you were fine,” the redhead promises you as she makes her way over to pop the bottle. “The idiot before you… I’m pretty sure he literally wandered in from off the street.”

“Did they only offer me the position because we’re-” you got to ask, but she cuts you off.

“They don’t know we’re together,” Melissa tells you. “You did not get offered the position because we’re dating. You got the position because you are a wonderful teacher, and Barbara pushed for you.”

“You had nothing to do with it?” you raise a brow.

“I stayed pretty quiet while they were talking,” your girlfriend says. “I even made sure I threw in a comment about how I wouldn’t learn your name until I was certain you were going to stay. They have no idea.”

You smile at her. “Then, a celebratory dinner we’ll be having… and then…”

Green eyes meet yours with a glint of mischief in them. “What?”

“And then, I want to be your dessert.”

Melissa’s eyes go wide, and she nods eagerly. “If that’s what you want, you know I’m always more than happy to make that happen… Might even have to go in for seconds after today’s accomplishment.”

The rest of summer passes in a warm haze. It’s filled with love, lazy days, and excitement as you plan for the upcoming school year with your girlfriend. But the days of lazing out at a pool or staying inside and binge watching your shows to beat the heat are quickly coming to an end. Melissa and you still haven’t talked about how you’re going to interact with each other at the school- especially now that the two of you have moved in together.

“Hun?” you call from the bedroom as you put on makeup for dinner tonight. It’s your last hurrah before the two of you really have to start focusing on the school year.

“What?” Melissa’s voice floats into the room as she waits for you downstairs.

When you don’t respond in hopes that she just comes into the room, she sighs and gets to her feet. She appears in the doorway a few seconds later, a soft look in her eyes as she watches you ready yourself.

“What’s up, mi amore?” she asks as she makes her way over to you. Her arms wrap around your shoulders, and she presses a gentle kiss to your hair before resting her chin on your shoulder.

“You know what I just realized?”

“What?”

“We never discussed how we were going to act at school.”

“Shit.”

Dinner is spent discussing that the two of you will have to work together due to the fact that you’re both on the second grade team, but your relationship at school will stay professional. You know that you can stay professional, but it’s going to be interesting to see the hard ass persona that Melissa likes to put on in front of her coworkers as opposed to the sweet and kindhearted woman that you know at home. It’s going to be jarring for sure- at least to start until it isn’t so suspicious that she likes the newbie. Once that’s squared away, the two of you enjoy a dinner that doesn’t revolve around lesson planning or any talks of school.

Development week is upon you, and you almost wish that you would’ve decided to just go into this job being out with Melissa, but you understand where she’s coming from with not telling HR that the two of you are together- at least not yet. And you genuinely do not want some sort of rumor to start that the only reason you got the position is because you’re dating one of the “scarier” teachers in the school. So, while you wish you were driving in with your girlfriend while she recites affirmations to you, you instead have to settle for driving in by yourself. You pull in next to her car, but she’s already inside- you know this much.

It’s weird when you head into the staff lounge. You’re so used to her making you coffee in the mornings, but today you have to fend for yourself. And while everyone else is cordial with you, your girlfriend is standoffish and cold, calling you by the wrong name on purpose and telling her coworkers she’ll bother to learn your name once you’ve proven that you aren’t just going to up and leave the first time things get hard for you (you catch the sympathetic glance she throws your way as she’s heading out with her friends for the meeting).

Most of development week ends up being your principal just flirting with you and your girlfriend being as hostile as she is with other new hires. At night, once the two of you settle in together, she promises you that she loves you more than anything and she apologizes for her behavior and attitude towards you at school.

“I didn’t realize this was what I would be walking into at school,” you chuckle as she massages your back gently. “But I have to admit, seeing you like that… damn it’s hot.”

“You always think I’m hot,” she rolls her eyes as she begins to work on a new tense spot right by your shoulder.

“Well, I’m not wrong for that,” you half chuckle, half groan. “But I always get to see sweet soft Lissa, and at school you’re a total badass.”

“I’m a total badass in front of literally everyone except for you,” she tells you as she kisses the slope of your neck. “I don’t know why, but you melt me like butter.”

“Well, ain’t I lucky then?”

“I’d say I’m the lucky one,” she throws right back at you.

Your days at your new job continue on like that, and so do your nights. During the day, Melissa is nothing but a bitch to you and offering you apologetic glances when she can. And at home, your girlfriend is the sweetest woman, even more sweet than usual because she feels so guilty that she can’t treat you like the amazing woman that you are in your place of work.

But that changes when the kids start their school year. Because your classrooms are right next to each other, she has a front row seat to see just how talented you are when it comes to working with your kids. She observes how much effort you put into their daily routines, how you explicitly state your expectations and hold them to it, and how you manage behaviors within your classroom, all while still getting them settled in for the school year.

It’s at lunch on the first day that she softens up on you just the slightest bit. You’re sitting at one of the tables by yourself when she and Barbara comes strolling in.

“Ah, Y/N, dear,” the kindergarten teacher smiles at you. “How is your first day with the kids going?”

You break out into a grin. “Honestly? I’m loving it. These kids, while they all have their challenges, like any kids, are absolutely precious. I already have a handful of drawings sitting on my desk to be hung up on the bulletin board behind my desk.”

“That’s great to hear,” Barb tells you as she pulls her lunch out of the fridge.

“Wow, newbie,” Melissa’s eyes sparkle just enough that you can tell. “Better than I expected.”

“And how did you expect my first day to go?” you challenge her to act. She had told you this morning in bed that she knew you were going to be just what Abbott needs, but could she play it off that she thought you were going to crash and burn now?

The redhead shrugs. “Most newbies run out of here with their middle fingers up and crying.”

“Well, that won’t be me. Thank you very much Miss Schemmenti,” you shrug as you take a bite of your salad (the one that she had prepared for you last night).

“Good,” is all she huffs out as she sits down to eat her own lunch. “Abbott needs some stability.”

That night at home, it’s an early night. The first days, and even the first weeks, of school are utterly exhausting.

“I meant what I said when most people leave with their middle fingers up and crying,” Melissa sighs as she lays her head on your chest. “But you, my dear? I never had a doubt in my mind that you would be the perfect addition to the Abbott team. And I saw how great you were with your kids today. They’re lucky to have you.”

“Just as your little eagles are lucky to have you,” you chuckle softly as you begin to run your fingers through her hair.

Slowly, Melissa’s tougher than nails demeanor shifts. She begins to treat you like she treats Janine, although it is different. But that’s because the two of you are hiding a relationship, unlike with Janine. It’s nice. And at home, she’s still as loving as ever and even still apologizing for not treating you the way she should at school.

“When are we going to tell them that we’re together?” you ask casually as you’re looking over the weekly plans.

She hums. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“I just don’t want anyone to think that I only got the job because we’re dating and you were in my interview. I know you said that Barb was the one who pushed for me, but…”

“If you want to wait a bit, we can.”

You’ve settled into teaching at Abbott quite nicely. Your coworkers love you, Melissa has only continued to soften up at you at school, even calling you by your real name now. You have to say, you love this job. It’s the best job that you’ve had in quite some time, and that includes when you worked in more affluent areas. These kids just… get it. The staff is like an odd, dysfunctional family. And you get to see your girlfriend at work everyday. It’s almost perfect.

The reason it isn’t perfect? Your boss, Ava Coleman, flirts with you constantly. She finds reason to be in your room more often than not, and whenever you’re all having lunch, there’s some excuse for her to end up in the staff room with you.

Melissa, of course, is well aware that your principal is constantly trying to hit on you. You let most of her comments roll off of you, but some just have you shaking your head at the things she insinuates.

“Ava,” you finally sigh one day after seeing the absolute death glare that Melissa is sending her way. Oh, if looks could kill. “Quit flirting with me.”

“And why would I do that, boo?”

“Because you’re in a relationship,” you roll your eyes as her own eyes scan over you.

The woman shrugs. “And? It’s open.”

“And I have a girlfriend who I know for a fact would not, and does not like the fact that you are constantly trying to get with me,” you reveal.

Everyone looks at you in surprise at that admission. Everyone except for Melissa, who angrily stabs at the salad she’s got out for lunch (the salad that you lovingly packed her this morning).

“You have a girlfriend?” Jacob is quick to cut into the conversation. You just nod. “How did I not know?”

“I don’t know, Jacob,” you breathe out. “I don’t really go around announcing it to people.”

“But there are usually signs!” your coworker protests.

At that, you shrug.

“Who’s to say that your girlfriend wouldn’t be into it?” Ava directs the conversation back her way.

You glance to Melissa, who won’t even look up from her meal. “Just trust me when I tell you, my girlfriend does not appreciate the fact that you flirt with me.”

“Well, what’s her name?” Janine asks from her corner of the room. “I wanna meet her!”

You laugh at that. “Lissa,” you tell them. And nobody figures out that that’s the nickname you have for the redhead in the room. Everybody at Abbott, or at least everybody who has been deemed worthy of calling her by a nickname, calls her “Mel”.

“Alyssa?” Mr. Johnson makes his own presence known. “She hot?”

Your ears turn pink. “I wouldn’t be dating her if I didn’t think she was. But enough about me,” you try to diffuse the situation. “Can we-”

Ava turns to you after a few seconds of scrolling through her phone. “You don’t know no ‘Alyssa’.”

“What do you mean?” you raise a brow in her direction.

The principal shoves her phone in your face. “I just looked through Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, even your Venmo for anyone under that name. There ain’t nobody there. You making a girlfriend up so I stop flirtin’ with you, ain’t you?”

“I am very much not,” you reply. “I do have a girlfriend.”

Ava hums. “I don’t believe you, but if that’s the story we’s goin’ with, sure thing, baby boo. Just give me a call when you decide that you want a piece of this fine-”

“Enough!” Melissa finally shouts. “Enough!”

“Woah,” the principal’s eyes go wide as she stares at the redhead. All other heads in the room whip around to look at the second grade teacher sitting next to you. “What’s got your panties in a twist? I’m just flirting with-”

“Flirting with my girlfriend!” your girlfriend explodes. “Quit flirting with my girl, unless you want me to take Edith Houghton to your damned head!”

As if to prove a point, Melissa grabs your hand and shows it off. “She’s mine,” the woman practically growls. “And I swear to God, if you make one more comment towards my girlfriend about how hot she is or about how you want her- I will make you regret it!”

Ava’s eyes go wide, and her hands fly up so quickly in surrender that her phone drops to the floor. “Shit. Okay.”

Everybody else can only watch in slight horror as the redhead continues to point her fork in your boss’s direction.

“Listen, I just thought that-”

“You thought wrong,” Melissa grits out. “Not another word out of you about her.”

“Okay, okay,” Ava backs down. “Damn, Schemmenti. Good on you though. She-”

You have to practically hold your girlfriend back as she goes to lunge at the principal.

Ava quickly runs out of the room and back into her office, coffee forgotten and probably fearing for her life at this point.

Melissa huffs and rights her shirt before holding your hand again and taking a deep breath. You ground her quickly with a few squeezes to the hand in your own. She pulls her chair closer to yours and drops your hand before wrapping an arm around you and silently daring anybody to make any comments about the outburst that had just taken place.

You see the way that they’re all staring at you and your girlfriend though, so you just settle for a weak, “Surprise?”

TAGS: @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo

#abbott elementary fanfic #abbott elementary #abbott elementary fanfiction #melissa schemmenti fanfiction #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x you

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childrenofcain-if · 2 months ago

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Clingy D wasn't something I knew I needed. For research purposes, how would that fare though, author

the texas heat clung to D as they sat on the back porch of their grandfather’s old farm. the air smelled of earth and sunburnt grass, a scent that had grown oddly comforting in the months since they’d moved back.

the farm was quiet now, save for the low hum of cicadas and the occasional bark of a stray dog wandering by the fence. the peacefulness suited D—most days. but tonight, it was unbearable.

their phone sat on the wooden table in front of them, face down like it was a guilty party. they’d told themself they weren’t going to look at it anymore.

just leave it, rook, calm down.

stop being so needy, rook.

get your shit together, rook.

you’re always the recurring car crash, rook, the common denominator.

but their eyes flickered toward the phone anyway.

the truth sat under their ribs like a splinter: it had been three days since you’d texted anything more than a brief, polite response to a link they’d sent, and weeks since you’d called. three days of D’s mind running circles around itself, spiraling into every worst-case scenario it could conjure. and they were losing their grip. their fingers tapped restlessly on the armrest of the chair, their boot scuffing against the railing.

maybe you’re busy, they told themself for the fiftieth time that evening. new york is a big place. MBA programs are hard. you’ve got new friends now, fancy urbane friends who wear suits and drink wine like it’s water. you don’t have time to call your idiot partner who still wants to live in their old farmhouse down south and smells like hay and diesel these days.

that last thought stung, and D flinched like they’d spoken it aloud.

they picked up their phone and stared at the screen, willing your name to appear. a new message. a missed call. anything. they’d tried calling you twice yesterday but hung up before it even rang.

the phone buzzed suddenly in their hand, cutting through the peacefulness like a blade. D jumped, nearly dropping it in their haste to answer.

“hey,” they said, too quickly, the word coming out rough and broken, betraying how much they’d been waiting for this. they winced at their own pathetic eagerness.

“hi,” you replied. your voice was warm but tinged with something D couldn’t quite place. it wasn’t joy.

there was a pause, one of those long, awkward ones that stretched out like a wound neither of you wanted to clean out.

“why haven’t you replied to my texts?” you asked finally. your tone was light, sure, but the edge was unmistakable.

D blinked, thrown off-guard. “why haven’t you called me?”

the words left their mouth before they could stop them, sharper than intended, spilling out like blood from a clean incision. the silence on your end was deafening.

“excuse me?” you said after a moment, your voice now tight.

D pushed on, reckless now, the spiraling in their chest too loud to ignore.

“it’s been weeks,” they said, their voice rising despite themself. “weeks since you actually picked up the phone to call me. i’m supposed to be okay with a couple of dry texts here and there? a couple of ‘how are yous’ like you’re checking in on a goddamn houseplant? what am i even supposed to do with that? do you even want to talk to me anymore?”

“of course i want to talk to you!” you snapped, louder this time, frustration apparent in your tone. “but you’ve been so distant during our texts. i didn’t know if you even wanted to hear from me if you got too busy with the farm renovations.”

“distant?” D barked out a laugh, harsh and humorless. “i’m not the one out there living some shiny new life in new york city with shiny new friends. don’t talk to me about being distant when you’re the one who left!”

“oh wow, so it’s my fault now?”

“isn’t it?”

the words hung between you like a noose, both of you too angry to let go and too hurt to say anything else.

“this isn’t fair,” you said finally, your voice breaking just slightly, and D hated that they heard it, hated that they caused it. “you don’t get to put this all on me. you knew what this was going to be like. you knew it would be hard. you could’ve just come with me until renovations were done for the farm. you’re the one who insisted on supervising everything to stay in that stupid place.”

“don’t fucking call the farm stupid,” D shot back, their voice trembling now, but they couldn’t stop. “besides, i’m here, aren’t i? waiting by the damn phone every night like some... some pathetic—” they couldn’t finish the sentence.

“then maybe stop waiting!” you yelled, having had enough of it. “if this is so hard for you, maybe you should’ve just come here with me!”

the line went dead.

D stared at the phone in their hand, unblinking, as though willing it to come back to life. the silence that followed was heavier than the summer heat, heavier than anything they’d ever known.

they stood up abruptly, the chair screeching against the porch, and paced back and forth like a caged animal.

“unbelievable,” they muttered under their breath, the anger bubbling up again. “they hang up on me? after all this? after—”

the thing about D was that they wouldn’t—couldn’t—express their emotions in words a lot of the time. sure, they could write about it, but writing about it was different than actually saying it. so these emotions were usually spelled out in other ways.

a bloody fist. a slow song. a naked dance.

but this time, the anger burned out as quickly as it came, leaving behind nothing but the ache. the ache they always carried, the one they could never name but always felt. they sank back into the chair, burying their face in their hands.

you’re going to lose them, a small voice whispered in the back of their mind, insidious and cruel. you’re going to push them away forever. they’ve grown tired of you because you’re too much. you’re always too much, rook.

the thought made them sicker than a glass of cheap liquor.

D picked up their phone again, their thumb hovering over your name in the call log. they could call you back. they could apologize. they could beg.

they pictured you in new york, surrounded by skyscrapers and lights, people who had never set foot on a farm in their life and who probably never will. they imagined themself there, awkward and out of place, fumbling with subway cards with their doc martens too scuffed, their drawl too thick and alien.

they never belonged in san francisco. they never belonged in new haven. they’d never belong in new york city.

but they’d go. if you asked, they’d go in a heartbeat. they’d go and make themself fit into your world if that’s what you wanted. they’d camouflage themself all over again like they did in california and connecticut. even if they hated it, they’d still try.

or maybe you could come back. just for a little while. they’d show you the stars again, the ones you couldn’t see in the ever-polluted cities. they’d hold you close and tell you they loved you, over and over, until you believed it.

but for now, they’d wait by the phone like dogs waited for their owners on the front porch—all day, and then the next.

here’s the pt. 2 to this.

#they think they’re a big bad wolf but they’re still a puppy #writing angsts are now second nature to me atp #p.s. this scenario may or may not happen in book 2 or 3 🫢#if: the ballad of the young gods #interactive fiction #interactive novel #interactive story #twine wip #ro: d diaconu #ro scenarios

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taintandviolent · 2 months ago

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Le coup de foudre ; Gambit x Reader

summary: THIS IS PART 3 OF THE TACO TUESDAY SERIES! PART ONE HERE / PART TWO HERE! Reader is suffering, big time. She wants Remy, but he hasn't called. Post-Void, everyone got out alive and everything is fine.

word count & w a r n i n g s: 3.1K | some angst to start things off, smut with some plot (we've got an established relationship, huzzah), French and typing out accents/dialects, pet names (chere, mon ami, mon coeur, etc.), shower sex, dirty talk, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, no use of y/n, and some fluff at the end, because I went and broke y'all's hearts in the last chapter.

a/n: praying that the gambit fandom hasn't completely died out.... i'm so sorry this took me so long. banner by @/strangergraphics!

↓ full fic under cut! ↓ / ao3 link here! / I don’t have a taglist anymore, but please turn on post notifications if you’d like to be notified of future fics!

The first day is the hardest.

The first day is the hardest because by 1:30 PM, you realize that you’re in love with Remy Lebeau. You cry on the couch he kissed you on. Why are you crying? Because you can’t remember the last time you’ve been in love with someone, and you know what comes with love. None of it is good.

The second day sucks too because you go to work, and come home to an apartment that, for the first time since you’ve lived there, really felt empty. There’s nowhere you can sit that he hasn’t touched. His memory lingers everywhere and try as you might, you can’t escape it. You aren’t sure you want to, either, which is troubling in and of itself.

By the third day, your heart is aching, but it’s a dull ache. Something like anger has started to roil in your system, and you’re wondering why he hasn’t called, or stopped by. You can justify it by saying that you don’t know what mutant superheroes go through or what their daily life looks like, but you’re still sour that there’s been nothing but radio silence on his end.

Day four comes and goes, and nothing changes. You’re still sad. You’re still angry. But most of all, you’re still lonely.

Day five… however. Day five comes, you’ve cycled through all the stages of grief and landed somewhere on the spectrum of desperation.

So, after work, you march across the hall to Wade’s, and knock three times in a little melody. After a few moments, the door flies open, revealing a very casual looking Wade. He’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt and grey sweats. You avert your eyes from his groin, out of respect.

“Wade,” you stammer, scratching a non-existent itch on your arm. “Hey.”

“Pookie! How nice of you to stop by. Blind Al and I were just about to partake in some Colombian party powder, care to join us?”

Your pupils dilate. Was he being serious? You couldn’t tell. “Uh… no. No, I’m good.”

You shift uneasily. You aren’t sure how to start this, so you just blurt whatever comes out.

“Wade… um. Look, I’m sorry to ask this of you. I just…. I can’t take it anymore. He doesn’t seem like the type to ghost someone, and I just… I really want to talk to him.”

“You want Gambit’s number?”

You perk up, relieved that you didn’t have to ask the question yourself. Wade was more perceptive than you thought.

“Y-yeah, if you have it.”

“I don’t. Womp-womp. But I gave him yours.”

“Oh…” A beat. “...wait. How did you get my number?”

“Remember that package that was misdelivered?”

“No….”

“Yikes. Well, I do. It had your name and phone number on it. I figured it’d be useful to have so…” He taps the side of his head.

“Why did you… did he ask for it?”

“Boy, did he.”

You frown, feeling an overwhelming flurry of emotions. On one hand, he’s had your number and hasn’t called. On the other hand, he wanted your number. But he hadn’t done a damn thing with it. Your shoulders sink, unconsciously.

“Oh, sweet cheeks. Someone play some Cigarettes After Sex, this is getting emotional.” Wade mock frowns, looking off to the left for a moment before his eyes dart back to you. “He’s probably saving lives or something heroic. Undisclosed mutant drama.”

“Thanks,” you murmur, choosing to ignore his weird commentary. “I appreciate it.”

“What’re you gonna’ do now? Cue the depressed drinking montage.”

“That’s a great idea, actually…”

“No, no… let’s not.”

You interject with a finger in his face. “Yeah, let’s.”

“If you’re going to do that, let’s do it inside. C’mon.” Wade doesn’t give you a moment to reject him, and plants both of his hands on your shoulders, yanking you forward.

Turns out, Wade does have alcohol. He makes you a drink, something that tastes like whiskey. Maybe it's your whiskey, left over. You bring the glass to your lips, sucking the liquid down. It’s strong, but you aren’t complaining.

“Oooohohoh, you’ve got it bad, huh? Heart eyes and all that mushy-gushy shit?”

You throw a glare his way, and take another sip. The liquor burns better than any remark you could’ve come up with.

“It’s okay,” he says, nodding. “I can’t say I blame you. It’s that Southern charm he’s got. Handsome, slick, and he can do magic tricks.” His eyes widen, excitedly. “How could you not fall in love with him?”

“Wade, you’re not helping.”

“Sure I am,” he retorts.

You take a seat on Wade’s couch, looking distraught. You’re thankful that Blind Al is in fact… blind because she can’t see the way that the tears are welling up in your eyes. You look at the chairs that you two sat on, flirting with each other.

“Oh,” Wade says, looking somewhat surprised. “Oh no.”

“She cryin’?” Blind Al asks. Great, she’s perceptive. You swallow back a sob, and bring the glass to your lips again.

“Almost… almost… c’mon, give us a cinematic, single tear.”

You shake your head and suck it up as best you can. You don’t want acknowledgement, that’ll only make it worse, possibly sending you into a fit of sobs. You don’t even know why you’re so upset – it’s not like he told you he never wanted to see you again. He just hadn’t… well, done anything and that was somehow worse.

“Je-sus…!” Wade says suddenly, leaning over to angrily look through the peephole. He stays there for a moment, before leaning back, a sly smile on his face.

And that’s when you hear the dull thudding that has Wade’s attention. It sounds like a knock – a heavy handed one.

You straighten your spine, curious.

“Oh, this is too perfect.” He says under his breath, before taking one step towards you. “Save the waterworks, your Cajun Prince has returned.”

You set the glass on the floor and scramble off the couch, practically on all fours as you run towards the door, pushing Wade out of the way. Standing on your tiptoes to look through the peephole for only a split second, you get a visual. Hurriedly, you twist the knob and throw the door open, wanting to rip it off its hinges. It bumps into the wall behind it, and your breath rushes out.

Remy stands there, facing your door, his fist raised to knock again. He has a duffel bag on his shoulder, which slides off the second he hears your voice.

“Remy?” you call, your voice quivering slightly. He turns abruptly, his coat flaring out behind him. He’s wearing armor now, and looks like he’s just come back from something serious.

“Chere? What’re you –”

You don’t need to answer again, instead, just run across the hall, rushing into his arms. Your body hits him so hard that you let out a little vocalization, a delicate oomph, as you compress yourself to him. He immediately responds by wrapping one arm around your waist, and the other around the back of your head, hand petting your hair gently.

He smells like blood, sweat and ash, but you nuzzle your cheek into the rigid plate of his purple chestplate anyway, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso in a desperate hug.

After a moment, you pull away, just enough to look up at him. He looks down at you, his eyes burning with such an adoration that you can’t help but clench your stomach. He looks like he missed you as much as you missed him.

“Is this your superhero outfit?” Your fingers stroke the ridges in his cowl, admiring it. Slowly, they trail down the length of it, and begin to make their way over his smooth chestplate.

He laughs, looking down at you. “ ‘Spose so.”

“I like it.”

Two smiles later, he pulls you in for a bruising kiss, lifting you up off the ground slightly. You’re on your tiptoes again, smashing your lips against his and tasting him as hungrily as you did the first time – if not hungrier. There’s something extremely erotic about kissing a costumed hero, something to do with uniforms and all that, you assume, but the butterflies in your stomach go wild at the feeling of his armor against you. This time, you don’t try to suppress anything and give into the feeling of it all.

Someone sighs dreamily behind you and Remy breaks the kiss to look knowingly over the top of your head. Wade is leaning against his door frame, hands clasped in front of his chest. Short of having hearts bursting over his head, he’s silently gushing, his brows pulled together in a sappy expression, with a dorky smile curling around his lips.

“Oh, c’mon! Just a peek? Where’s your sense of fan service?!”

“No, Wade.” Remy croons, opening your door and pulling you in with him. He shuts the door with one hand.

“Now before we get to the good stuff, I wanna’ wash this day offa’ me.”

You nod your head, understanding, and reach for his hand. The bathroom is adjacent to your bedroom, so you lead him down the hall.

You flick on the light; it’s all dark tile and cool tones. You head to the sizable shower, and open the glass door, leaning in just enough to turn the knob. The water splashes to life, and steam fills the bathroom quickly.

Watching Remy undress himself is like a strip tease that has you biting your lip. He’s determinate and meticulous, like he knows you’re watching. The jacket and armor pieces come off first, and get set on the edge of the bathroom counter. Then comes the shirt, revealing that delicious torso again, the one that you’ve been longing to run your hands over for almost a week. He quickly unzips his pants and drags them down his legs before setting them atop the rest of the items. The briefs are last – the perfect ending to reveal his heavy, flaccid cock before he turns, and walks into the shower. He’s got a perfect ass, too; muscular and round. You’re pretty sure you could bounce a quarter off of it. The water splashes against the roundness of his freckled shoulders, spattering against the muscle and onto the tile.

“Chere, c’mere…” He reaches for your hand, pulling it inside the shower.

“Wait, wait,” you laugh, and retract your hand. “I’m not coming in there fully dressed.”

“Then get naked, mon amour. We know we done been waitin’ long enough to feel each other again.”

You pull your shirt over your head, and reach around back to undo your bra. Your jean shorts are next, joining the pile on the floor.

The water is warm, but Remy’s naked body is even warmer.

There’s a beautiful, tender familiarity in the way you touch each other, coupled with a hunger that can only be fueled by absence. He hasn’t had you in days, you haven’t had him; the desire has reached a boiling point, and needs to be expelled. He presses you against the tile of the shower, watching as the water pitter-patters against your skin, over your decollete, over your breasts and down the gentle curve of your stomach. He leans down and kisses the hollow of your throat, his hands cupping your hips forcefully.

“I missed you,” he murmurs against your skin.

“I missed you too… maybe more.”

“Ooh, doubt that.”

As his fingers trail along your body with an air of ownership, Remy kisses your wet shoulders, nipping at the warm, slick flesh. Despite the heat, you shiver. He has a real knack for making your body shudder. Your knees feel like jell-o, so you wrap your hands around his strong neck, interlacing your fingers behind it for some support.

His fingers dip down between your legs and teasingly splay out over your folds. His middle finger slips between them, glossing over your center, and slides all the way down, teasing your entrance with the pad of his finger. Everything is wet, but he can feel the slickness that meets his finger. His cock twitches against your thigh.

“‘Dat’s my girl,” he says, low. “Y’know, I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout ‘dis way too much.” His hand cups your cunt, as if to punctuate his sentence and you bite your lip, looking into his eyes. You shift, forcing more friction against his wet palm, the warm water pooling between your legs. “The thought of you been distractin’ me. You a dangerous woman, cher…”

“I’m dangerous? Says the guy who has fucked me in every room, on almost every surface in my apartment…”

Remy chuckles and the sound fills your heart. There it is again – that unyielding feeling of adoration. You’re horny as all get out, but somehow, you still have the capacity to swoon over tiny things like his laugh. This isn’t you, this isn’t what you’re used to. Frustrated, you bump your head against the tile, letting out a small groan.

He notices this, and brings his other hand – still leaving one situated between your legs – up behind your head.

“What’re you doin’? What’s wrong, chere?”

“Nothing...” you huff, looking over at the shower head. It doesn’t sound very convincing, but you aren’t ready to spill your guts to him yet… you’d rather have him rearrange your guts and not think about the feelings.

He smirks, devilishly, like he already knows. If he does, he’s not letting you off the hook.

“Guess I just gon’ have to fuck it outta’ you, huh?”

You avert your gaze back to him, pupils dilating. You know him well enough now that he means what says.

With that, he places a kiss on your forehead, and turns his body towards the stream of water. He begins washing himself, and you watch as the suds slowly trail down the ample curve of his back. You reach forward, spreading them over the indentation of his spine, washing him gently.

“Hoo, the way you touch me…” he murmurs just loud enough for you to hear it.

The shower is intimate and everything is mutual, cue the montage. For the… what? Tenth time that week? You realize that you're in way too deep with Remy. Way too deep, and there’s nothing you can do to change it.

Drying his feet off on the mat and allowing you space to do the same, Gambit then pulls a towel from the rack, and wraps it around your naked body. The droplets absorb into the fibers, and you’re a little less drippy. Well, your body is. The hungry, whining void between your legs isn’t.

When Gambit turns, you catch a glimpse of his half-hard cock and blush. Even though you’ve fucked it, sucked it and everything else, the sight of is still enough to send butterflies erupting in your stomach.

He can’t get you to the bedroom fast enough. His hands are on your hips, directing you towards the bed and you let out a little vocalization, much to his delight.

“C’mere, mon ami… get up on ‘dat bed.”

You obey. Why wouldn’t you? You’ve been waiting for this for almost a week now.

Before he has a chance to stop you, you’re reaching forward to take his cock in your hand. It’s heavy and hot and the feeling of it against your palm makes you clench painfully, twinging with heat. You take your time in stroking him to full hardness, swiping your thumb over the leaking tip and smearing the pre-cum down his veiny length.

Once he’s there, he’s like a freight train. Unstoppable and panting hard. He fucks you hard over the edge of the bed, hard enough to make your breasts bounce back and forth with each bullying thrust, withdrawing it to the tip and bottoming out each time. Your bedroom is filled with the sounds of bodies slapping together, flesh against flesh.

“Tell me,” he grunts. “Ain’t no place for secrets up in here.”

“It’s not important – uuhhh!” Another thrust, deep as he can go.

“Cher,” he growls and thrusts again. “I ain’t gonna’ let you cum ‘till you tell me.”

“No,” you moan, bringing your hands to your tits as they move. “Please, I’m so close, we can — uhhh god!”

He’s relentless.

“Fuck, fuck-fuck, oh my god…!”

With a slick pop, he pulls his cock all the way out. You lift your head up, gazing distraught between your legs; he’s centimeters away from you. The tip is red, glistening and angry as it twitches up, pre-cum leaking from the slit.

“Tell me, cher, or you ain’t gonna’ get ‘dis cock again.” He bucks his hips forward, dragging the fat, wet tip against your swollen cunt. You cry out at the sensation, your clit buzzing with electricity. Despite all that, he doesn’t penetrate you again, and you whimper at the empty sensation. Every time you try to move your hips to get his cock to slip in again, he pulls back just enough to put distance between you two. You whine through gritted teeth.

“Okay!”

He presses the head of his cock against your clit. Waiting. Patiently. So patiently. For a moment, you marvel at the control he has considering that his cock looks red and angry, aching to empty itself inside of you.

“Fine. I think…” You pause to catch your breath. “I think I love you.”

Remy closes his eyes for a second, reveling in the sound of you saying it. He’d wanted to say it to you at breakfast, and he’d wanted to say it before he left.

“Mm.”

“Mm?”

“Mmm-mm. ‘Dat’s what I wanted to hear, chere. An’ it sounds so good comin’ outta’ ‘dat mouth of yours.”

He lines the cockhead up, and bottoms out with another word. He’s said enough, apparently. When he takes hold of your hips, lifting them up slightly to give himself a deeper angle, you wrap your hands around your sheets until the fibers squeak. Your nails dig into the fabric, nearly puncturing holes in them. It’s only a few more earth-shattering thrusts before you cum, and before he fills you with white hot heat, the two of you calling and moaning each other’s names in ecstasy.

After softening inside of you, which is somehow extremely sweet, he withdraws himself from your cunt, and uses the sheet to clean up the mess that leaks out. He carefully lifts you up onto the bed fully, and then crawls next to you, nestling into the same space he did last night.

It’s like he never left.

“I really do, you know. I love you. I know we just met and fucked and that’s all, but I love you.”

“You keep sayin’ ‘dat’s all’ as if what we have is somethin’ casual, cher. You’re gonna’ hurt Remy’s feelings if you keep ‘dat up. So, knock it off, ah?”

“It’s… it’s not casual?”

He shakes his head. “I love you too, mon coeur. I have since I first saw you…”

You hum happily, and nuzzle yourself against his bare chest. “I finally understand that French phrase I learned… C’etait le coup de foudre?” (It was love at first sight.)

“Oui… oui.”

#Gambit #Remy Lebeau #channing tatum #Deadpool and Wolverine Gambit #channing tatum gambit #Gambit x reader #gambit x you #remy lebeau x reader #remy lebeau x you #female reader #Deadpool and Wolverine #Deadpool 3 #x reader fics #myfics

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warping-realities · 3 months ago

Text

Familly Group Chat

Written version of my last video. At some point I'll make one of the first one too! Hope you like it!

Michael was one of the many “middle kids” of John and Louise Bennet; in fact, he was the 4th of 7, just a few minutes younger than his twin brother, Tobias, with whom he shared that typical inscrutable and unexplainable bond that only twins have. Even though the relationship among all seven Bennet boys was super strong, having been raised under the strict rules of the holy Catholic Church by their parents, they were all scattered across the country, so the only way to keep in touch was through the family group chat on an app. That morning, the 23-year-old blonde man, skinny but toned from constant running, had just finished taking a hot shower and putting on his favorite pair of skinny black jeans, which his modern startup job not only accept but even endorsed as part of the dress code. He was about to start brushing his teeth when a new message notification popped up on his phone.

“Message from Tobias, here we go…” he muttered to himself, knowing his twin would only send a message at that hour if it was to roast someone. And sure enough!

“Hey bro, did you see the good morning message Mom posted in the family group?”

“Not yet, man.”

“Well, brace yourself! I have no idea where she finds this stuff!”

As he opened the family group while heading to the kitchen to make his usual black coffee, Michael couldn’t help but chuckle at the cheesiness of the good morning image Mom had sent.

“Dude, do all moms have a group to share this crap?” he typed to his brother in the private chat.

“Has to be! But you better reply, you know how she gets… soon she’ll be whining about how she raised seven ungrateful kids or some nonsense,” Tobias replied. Thinking about that, Michael rushed to respond to their mom. Louise was really kinda needy now that only the youngest still lived with her. However, when he opened the family group, he couldn't help but laugh out loud at the reply Tobias had sent—an even tackier image than the one their mom sent.

“Dude, you’re the worst! Where the hell did you find that image to reply to her?” he shot back to his brother.

“Well, maybe I’m in the mom’s group!” He replied before sending something completely different. “Hey, what’s going on? Someone saved as Dad 0.2 just join the group. What the hell is this?”

Hurrying to check that message, Michael quickly opened the family group and was shocked to see an unknown person had joined, which shouldn’t be possible without an access link or an invite from one of the group admins, their parents. The private convo that followed between the brothers was frantic and freaked out.

“Dad 0.2 removed Mom from the group… what’s going on?”

“I don’t know… how does someone just waltz into a private group and kick someone out???”

“Dad 0.2 changed the group name from Bennet Family to Bradley Boys! What the hell is this?”

“He’s sending a video, what’s happening???”

“I don’t know, bro, let’s just open it and see.”

The video showed a dude in his forties, but he looked really good for his age, easily passing for someone younger if it weren't for the crow's feet around his eyes that showed he was used to smiling, and his extremely muscular physique screamed years of hardcore workouts. With light brown hair and a well-groomed beard, he was rocking just a pair of sweats that showcased his powerful muscles in a spacious but Spartan room, with minimal furniture or decor.

“Alright, guys, it’s time to send our good morning videos! Who’s next? How about you, Jeff? I’m dying to rest my head on those muscle pillows of yours, babe!” the stranger said, flexing his arms.

“WTF?? You seeing what I’m seeing, Tobias? And who the hell is Jeff?” Michael quickly texted back to his brother.

“I have no clue, man, this is so weird… wait a sec… Dad 0.1 just sent a video, what the hell is this?”

“I think we better check it out…” Michael shot back before opening the video from the contact that also showed up for him as Dad 0.1.

“I’m dying to see you too, Buck! Counting the seconds until you’re back, babe. The bed feels empty without you here! Who’s next? How about our firstborn? It’s on you, Wyatt!” That was impossible; the face on the screen was undeniably their dad, but he had gained a solid 50 pounds of muscle and lost a good amount of fat. Not to mention the carpet of hair that now covered his formerly smooth chest.

“Is that really Dad? No way… how?” Tobias sent back.

“I don’t know, man! This is so bizarre… how did he bulk up so much… it doesn’t make sense… and who the hell is Wyatt?”

“He mentioned firstborn… but no… that can’t be…” Tobias typed before they both received another notification. Upon opening the video, they were in for another surprise.

“Hey there, bros! Ready for a new day? I’m already warming up waiting for my workout buddy—where you at, Maverick, little bro?” said the muscular dude, barely in his thirties, dressed all in black and flexing in a gym locker room.

“Dude… that’s Will!!! But he’s never set foot in a gym,” Michael texted Tobias. William, the oldest of the bunch, was about to turn thirty, and he had the chubby physique of an accountant used to long hours behind a desk, drinking coffee and munching on donuts—that was literally his life… or should be. But if there was anything that video showed, it was that Wyatt had never put a single sweet in his mouth.

“I don’t even know what to say… but there’s more coming!” Tobias replied, apparently just as stunned. As the new video arrived, they rushed to look.

“Ha! I’ve already left you in the dust, Wyatt! Looks like the baby bro is now the big bro! Don’t take too long, or I’ll be late for school, and my coach is gonna flip, right, Griff?”

“Dude, that’s Martin on steroids! That kid looks like he’s tripled in size! Is this some kind of prank? Some deep fake?” he asked in shock. Martin, the youngest, was already a more athletic kid, being on the wrestling team, but with that size, he’d be better suited for the offensive line on a football team, if he wasn’t already too big for that, and who the hell was this coach he was talking about?

“Michael, I’m just as lost as you. But it looks like this isn’t stopping…” Tobias commented as another video popped up in the group.

“You’re gonna have to do a ton of push-ups for not calling me Coach Bradley, kid! No Griff or Griffin while I’m your trainer! And if you’re late for school, it’ll be suicide day! Speaking of late, where the hell are you, Chase? Bet you left Hunter hanging at the beach.”

“Tobias, that’s Gordon! How the hell is he a coach? He’s a math teacher!” Michael texted in disbelief, seeing their second oldest brother looking way older than he should, with thinning hair as if he had been overdoing the steroids, which seemed totally possible, he thought, seeing the massive bodybuilder rocking just boxer briefs and a tight tank top, flexing his powerful muscles in some dimly lit room.

“Tobias? Tobias? Damn… there’s more coming!” Michael texted anxiously as he opened the next video.

“Ha, you know me too well, bro, but The Chaser is on the scene, Hunt’s got to face me!” That was Carl, but just like the other family members, he had gone through a transformation that left him almost unrecognizable. He had turned into a mountain of muscles covered by a thin layer of bronzed skin, clad only in a tiny yellow short, shades, and a backwards cap. Sitting in a car, flexing his muscles and grinning. Michael didn’t even have time to send a new outraged message to Tobias when another video came in.

“Too bad I’m already way ahead in my workout, little bro! You sure you want to take me on? Hehehe. Speaking of challenges, which twin’s gonna fire the next shot? Trey or Micah?” said the bronzed, muscular dude sporting Hugh’s modified look, the brother just below the twins in age. Watching this, Michael’s shock wore off, and he resumed chatting with his twin.

“What the hell is going on??? What are they doing at the beach? They should be in college!” But the reply didn’t come. Worried, he called out for his brother.

“Tobias? Tobias?”

“Who the fuck is Tobias, bro? I’m already sending my video, Micah! Big T is once again taking the lead! At least The Grand Finale is all yours!” was the twin response.

“Tobias, you guys must be messing with me!” Michael sent before opening the family group, where his brother had just sent another video.

“Trey here, leaving the little twin eating dust as always. And like always, I can’t tell what’s more badass, the view from my window or the sight the girls get when they check out my bod! What do you say, Micah, who’s used to seeing pretty much the same thing when you look in the mirror?” said the guy who in no way could be his twin brother, while grinning and showing off his muscular physique in front of his sunny apartment window. Totally lost, Michael sent a message to him.

“Tobias… Trey… I’m not doing any of this, this is insane!” he sent without realizing that autocorrect had changed his brother’s name.

“Dude, we’ve been doing this for years! It’s a Bradley tradition, what’s the problem now? You know how our das freak if we don’t join in. One of them is gonna call you if you don’t send it soon!” he replied. And Michael didn’t even have time to formulate a response to that new absurdity.

“Crap, video call from Dad 0.1,” he muttered to himself, refusing to pick up. But it seemed his phone had a mind of its own because the altered version of his dad popped up on his screen without permission.

“Micah, your dad is far away and wants a video from his boys. Trey just told me you don’t want to do it. What’s the harm in sending it? All your brothers already have, don’t be a buzzkill,” said the man with a serious and slightly disappointed expression.

“Dad, I… what the hell?” Michael started to respond, only to be cut off by the sudden entrance of a third person in the call. How was this possible? How was all this even real???

“Chill out, Jeff! I think Micah’s scared of looking like a weakling in front of his brothers.” It was the guy from the other video, grinning and crossing his arms while looking at Michael with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“What??? I… no… weakling!” For some reason, that challenge sparked something inside him, a primal urge to show what he was capable of, and even more, to show that man what he could do. He wanted… no, he needed to prove himself to that man. Show one of the most important people in his life that he wasn’t some weakling!

“You’re gonna see who the weakling is, Dad!” Micah shot back with a grin before sending his own video.

“Last of the Bradley boys here, you bunch of exhibitionists!” he said, shyly smiling. Unlike his brothers he didn't like to show off his physique without a greater purpose, he kept hitting the gym for the joy it always brought him, mainly because it was something that connected all the brothers and their two dads. The boys didn’t know who was whose dad, and to them that didn’t matter one bit. The Bradley boys were a united front; even though each had their own place, they all worked together at the gym their fathers had founded many years ago, even those who had other jobs like Griff or were still finishing school like Maverick. Even when it came time for college, they preferred to stick around instead of crossing the country, which was why Hunter and Chase still lived with their fathers. Their upbringing had been liberal, but there were still well-established boundaries of respect. Even though a much greater degree of freedom was present now that they were all adults, provocative acts had become more common, with the guys and their parents occasionally sending more explicit videos. In fact, the bond among them was so strong that whenever one of them was away for some reason, it had become family tradition to send those good morning videos.

“We’re looking forward to your return, Dad!” he said in the group, joined by his brothers and other father. They were answered by Buck, affectionately known by all as Dad 0.2.

“I’ll be back this weekend, boys, and I want the whole family together! But until then, at least we’ll have our little moments every morning. To wrap it up, here’s one last video from me for you to think of me as much as I think of you!” he said, winking and provocatively massaging his pecs.

“Come on, Dad! We don’t need this at this time of the morning,” was the response from his sons, even though they were all exactly the same kind of man as Buck Bradley.

#male tf #mind change #reality change #jockification #mental transformation #musclegrowth #straight to gay

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notquitecanon · 1 year ago

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Call Me... // Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: You're the Devil of Hell's Kitchen's favorite late night nurse, but he's been avoiding your fire escape since an unfortunate accident. You both miss each other just enough for some emotions to slip through the cracks. You don't even know his name, but you'll settle just to know he's alright.

TW: blood, canon typical injuries, kind of hurt comfort, Matt's a self sabotaging martyr as usual, kinda sunshine!reader??? maybe if you squint

Bolded line is from a prompts list from several months ago so I lost the link. If it's yours let me know and I'll link it!

"I haven’t seen you in weeks… I’m worried you’re in another dumpster somewhere. Just call me back…please?" You whispered harshly into the phone’s receiver, burner cell jammed between your ear and shoulder as you fumbled with your keys.

It was true. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen hadn’t graced your apartment in weeks after three months of near nightly visits. At first it was serious stuff, stab wounds and splinted bones. It took two weeks for him to crack a joke. But once that stone cold exterior cracked, it was shattered. He was kind, sweet even. Every few visits, he’d bring by supplies to replenish your kit and, usually, with a bottle of wine in the bag. Emergencies turned to what he called ‘urgencies’- wounds just barely deep enough to justify stitches and dislocated joints. Which then turned into stopping by at the end of his nights for a ‘check up’, where he took advantage of your central heating, warm beverages, and warmer presence. Then, some Yakuza jackass appeared on your doorstep three weeks ago, fortunately your devil hadn’t been far behind. He took care of him, and you figured the thug, now minus fifteen teeth, would have a hard time telling anyone where to find you. Nevertheless, you found the ‘available apartments’ section of the newspaper taped to your seventh floor window. That had been the last night ’the devil’ had paid you a visit.

"Anyways… I guess I'm asking for a sign of life? Something? Please? Bye." You pleaded, voice kinder this time as you managed to finally unlock the door and slip inside. Locking the knob, deadbolt, chain, and newly installed jam that had been mysteriously delivered not too long ago. With a huff, you discarded your keys, and bag in the entry way before delving deeper into your dark apartment, flicking lights on as you went.

"You really need to start locking your windows." A deep voice sounded as you rounded the corned into your living room. Heart jumping to your throat and stomach dropping, you let out a yelp as instinct took over. The familiarity of the voice didn’t register as adrenaline flooded your system.

"SHIT!" You shrieked, flinching backwards so fast that the hallway runner rug caught under your feet, sending you careening into the wall. Without thinking, you put the Yankee’s starting pitcher to shame as you pitched your phone at light speed towards the voice. Of course, the shadow effortlessly caught it.

"Shit!" The intruder mirrored at your fall, and it was then that you realized who it was. As you collected yourself a slew of curses slipped out, looking into the dim living room to find the Devil of Hell’s kitchen slowly rising off the couch, he was already sans black shirt and mask, "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you."

"Yeah, well, mission failed." You muttered, pressing a hand to your chest as if that would still your pounding heart. Slowly, you finished your shuffled into the living room, flicking on the overheads as you went. "Shit, you could have called. Sit back down."

You could have used the heads up, the gash across his chest looked serious, and not in the cute excuse to see each other way ’serious’ had meant last month. He breathed a sarcastic laugh, tossing your phone back to you before producing a shattered burner cell with a… bullet hole?

"You have a funny way of saving my skin when I least expect it." He tried a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes, picking up your pace as you retrieved your first aid kit from under your kitchen sink, "Consider this a sign of life?"

"A sign of barely alive, more like." You answered, rounding back around the couch to sit across from him. Harshly pulling on a pair of rubber gloves and splaying out an array of supplies both his lap and yours. "You’re unbelievable. Almost a month of no contact and then you just appear and leak blood on my couch."

"I’m sorry." He breathed, face angled to where your knees now touched. You rolled your eyes, ripping into a packet of gauze and setting to work dabbing the blood. And he sounded sorry, pitiful even, looked it to. His unseeing eyes stared straight past you and yet somehow straight through you at the same time, mouth settled in a puppy like frown. He told you once that he was catholic, and you now wandered if that’s why he was so good at looking guilty.

"If it wasn’t for the newspapers, I would have thought you were dead." You drove your point home, with a small voice, too angry to be a whisper and yet too concerned to be a hiss. The evidence of his activities was written across his bare torso in older cuts, new and fading bruises, and a couple of bandages that he’d obviously applied himself, "And you’ve obviously been busy."

"Figured out how the Yakuza found you. Handled it. Didn’t want to lead anyone else back here." His explanation was strained, pushed through gritted teeth as you applied antiseptic to the largest, freshest gash. You cooed small apologies, irritated as you were with the vigilante, you hated being the source of his pain. You picked up a suture kit, quickly threading the needle.

"Well, as far as excuses go, that’s not the worst." You muttered, half joking and half touched he’d go through this for you. You’d known he was a walking martyr from the moment you’d met him, but still. He’d taken the beatings so you’d sleep safe.

That was something else, "Lean back, gotta stitch you up."

He complied as you stood, using your shoulder to nudge the floor lamp so the light was better for you. Even then, you position on the coffee table wasn't cutting it as leaning forward cast a shadow over his chest. Neither was kneeling in front of him, as the gash was too far up his chest for your position to be adequate. You muttered a quick apology as you flitted around him, trying to find the best place to plant yourself. Beside him on the couch might work, but you’d be straining to hold yourself up at that angle and keep your hands steady.

Bloody-knuckled hands found your waist with amazing precision for a blind man, easily lifting you and placing you over one thigh after he spread his legs a bit wider. He held you steady, angling his eyes to the ceiling to give you the broadest view of his chest. One of your knees pressed into the couch cushion between his legs and the other pressed into the outside of his thigh, caging the his black-clad thigh between your own like a seat. If your weight bothered him, he gave no indication. He did however turn his ear ever so slightly towards you and smirk ever so devilishly, "How’s that?"

"Very convenient, thanks." You forced your voice to be flat instead of the breathlessness you felt. Stupid charming vigilante. To his credit, it gave you the perfect access without blocking the light. And if you got to feel ever twitch of his insanely muscular thigh between yours? Added benefit. The devil, even bruised and bleeding, was insanely warm and smelled like something out of a terribly sinful romance novel. The manly small of musk and sweat should have been revolting, but the way it mixed with a fading aftershave would have been distracting if you weren’t so focused on the drip of crimson down his toned abdomen. Before your train of thought could derail again, you gave a quiet warning watching your patient steel himself before you began running the needle and thread through the torn skin. Other than an initial hiss and the clenching of his fists against your waist, he went silent as you worked.

The two of you sat in an almost tense silence. He could feel how close your face was to his chest, the waves of breaths washing over his skin, the smell of shampoo in your hair faint enough to know you’d put off washing it, the sound of your heartbeat slowing back down after he’d gotten you excited, the slight sound of your teeth worrying the inside of your lip. He knew he shouldn't be here, Claire could have patched him up, probably would have if he asked really nicely. He probably could have if he really tried, but he’d just missed you. Between Fisk and the Hand and the law firm… everything was messy. You were still simple and sweet and far more caring than he thought he deserved, a balm just to be near you.

"Could you talk to me?" He asked, so quietly you almost missed it in your focus. You tied off another knot, seeing him wince.

"Hmm?" You hummed, pausing to look up from the half stitched wound. His eyes lowered to your face, his clenched hands at your waist loosening to rub the fabric of your shirt between his fingers. You always wore such soft things, he wondered if you’d be so soft underneath. You took opportunity in the pause to wipe some of the blood from his skin.

"I’ve missed your voice, even if you want to yell at me or be upset with me, just let me hear it." His voice was like a prayer, so sincere it made you shift on his leg. What was in the holy water at his church?

"I’m not going to yell at you, honey. I’m not going to kick a man when he’s stabbed." You shook your head, rearranging yourself to get that optimal view again, grazing a gloved finger over a purple bruise on his ribs, "Besides, someone beat me to it."

He chuckled at the lame joke, leaning his head back against the back of the couch again as you began stitching once more. Instead of scolding him, you caught him up on all the details and minor drama that he’d missed over the last few weeks. The funny things and annoyances from work, things your family had sent you, what your friends had been up to, your opinion on current happenings in the city. He listened to you like it was the most interesting thing he’d heard all year, chiming in with questions and quips of his own. You’d missed his voice too, not that you’d boost his ego by telling him that.

"There." You finally finished, tying the last stitch and taping a bandage over it. The vigilante under you didn’t make a move to leave, instead his hands kept you still on his lap. You breathed a laugh, moving on to everything else. You removed the old bandages, giving half healed wounds a thorough cleaning. You applied comical Disney bandaids to the more minor cuts on his hands and were even brazen enough to kiss his split knuckles. The vigilante seemed to preen under you attention as you cleaned and applied Vaseline to his busted lip. As if it was too good to be true, his lip twitched downwards as his eye brows furrowed. His face angled away from yours, his unseeing eyes falling on the window he’d come through.

"You know, the burner phone's been broken for two weeks now. Took the bullet not too long after the yakuza paid you a visit. Couldn't bring myself to throw it away, a little piece of you." He admitted, a pitiful smile twitched up before pulling downward again. He groaned, starting to shift you off his lap, “I shouldn’t be here, it’s not right.”

You allowed yourself to fall to the cushion beside him, but snatched the black shirt away from him before he could make a move for it. He’d been too busy letting his hands linger on your waist.

“Why not?” You asked sternly, tucking the shirt behind your back as if the vigilante in front of you couldn't probably drop you six ways to Tuesday if he wanted to. Not that he could ever consider raising a hand to you, “You got hurt, I patch you up. Seems right to me.”

The devil tensed, first leaning away and then leaning really close. His freshly bandaged fingers tapped your knee as if to emphasize his point, “I don’t deserve this kindness. And even if I did, if I could, if I was good, I would stop coming here so you could live in peace.”

You were a silent for a moment, wanting to make sure your response was exactly how you wanted it to come across.

“The third time you fell through my window, you told me that if I ever wanted to be left alone, all I’d need to do was change the candle I keep by the window.” You recounted his words. You hadn’t known about his senses at the time, he was still cryptic and mysterious. But you’d never changed the candle, buying new ones of the same scent when it would burn out, “You warned me what might happen. You gave me an out, one that I continuously chose to ignore. You did everything in your power to protect me when that choice had consequences. That was good, because you are good. And good people deserve kindness. You put too much on yourself, honey.”

As you spoke, you laid your hand over his on your knee, giving it a slight squeeze to convey your own point. The crimefighter listened to your voice, your heartbeat, the quickness of your breath, finding no deceit and even if he didn’t believe you words, it was nice to hear them. Your kindness washed over him, letting him relax for just a second before he shook his head, laughing sarcastically to deflect the dangerously sappy emotions you stirred. You called him honey like it was his name, and part of him wondered that if you knew his name if you would still call him honey.

“You barely know me, sweetheart.”

His own nickname slipped out by accident, usually just something he called you in his head when he allowed fantasies about telling you everything, coming home to you as the vigilante and the lawyer, seeing just how far your good grace could take him. His lips quirked up in time with the uptick of your pulse and the way your breath caught for a moment.

“I know enough to know you deserve some good.” You whispered earnestly, reaching up to graze the Star Wars bandaid you’d stuck across his the cut on his cheekbone. Almost instinctively, he leaned into the touch. You smiled softly, maybe you’d both missed each other a bit. The combined concern for the other and the time between his last visit making you both a little sappy, or at least more honest about it, So, you breathed a laugh, making another lame joke just to earn one of those chuckles you loved so much, “Besides, I know you well enough to have your blood on my hands.”

But he didn’t laugh, instead, he pulled his face from your palm, his own bandaged hands taking your bloodied gloved hands in his own. Gently, he pressed your hands together, your loose fists creating almost heart like shape as he pressed reverent kisses to each bloody hand. The vigilante was kind always, flirty and joking, occasionally flirtations bordering on something else. But this? This was different, it was new. Intimate. You’d almost feel like a voyeur for watching the scene if it you weren’t playing a starring role. Your mind flashed to those romance novels you’d thought of earlier, this put all of them to shame. So much so that your hands started trembling against his lips.

He held them tighter, but not in a constrictive, cage like way. More in a ‘let me hold you together’ kind of way before gently peeling the dirty gloves off and, again, kissing your clean hands underneath. His face angled to yours, nothing but sincerity lacing his features.

"You know my blood better than my own heart does.”

“God…” You whispered, letting your head fall against his shoulder, your nose nudging his collarbone and your eye lashes fluttering against his neck. His stubbled cheek fell to the crown of your head. You cleared your throat again, "I know your blood, but not your name. For someone I care so much about, that’s kind of sad.”

It was the first time you’d ever admitted it out loud in such certain words. The vigilante ran gentle hands up and down your arms, silent as a million thoughts went through his head. You heart was racing, not from lying, but in anticipation. Despite your racing pulse, you seemed almost totally at ease with you skin against his, one of your hands pressed to a bandage on his ribs and the other holding purchase at the waistline of his black pants. Nothing sexual, just the perfect place for your soft hand to land.

Despite the million thoughts, he really had two options. Keep his secret, and keep you at an arms length, to keep things sweet and simple and not too deep. Or. Let you in a little deeper, he'd swim oceans to keep you afloat. Enjoy your sweetness, even if things were complicated. He kept still, holding you as gently as you had touched him, a promise to himself that he could be gentle and soft, just as he could be lethal and ruthless. Two sides of a balanced scale.

Your heart had slowed down again, the soothing motion of his hands on your arm lulling you. You had been worried about his response. You’re confession had gotten too real, you were worried he’d jump out the window and disappear again. And you’d be left with nothing but bloody gloves and the thought that maybe you’d just imagined the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

"Matt.” His voice was quiet, just barely above a whisper, “You can call me Matt. Just don’t stop calling me."

#matt murdock x reader #Daredevil x reader #matt murdock x you #daredevil x you #daredevil x female reader #matt murdock x y/n

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bangtanficsforyou · 4 months ago

Text

Hello, Love! (JJK)-02

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, probable smut (we don’t know yet lololol)

Rating: 18+

Summary: You had a plan when you returned home, seven years later. However, falling in love with your sister’s fiance wasn’t it.

Word count: 5.6K (approx)

Warning: mentions of drug addiction, familial neglect.

I'll add all the links in a few days time!

It’s six in the morning when the doorbell rings.

Hurried footsteps make their way through the hallway and to the main door. The door is opened to reveal a long queue of people and one by one, everyone starts filling in. Anyone could have been fooled into thinking that this was afternoon.

The quiet apartment is now filled with excited greetings and a constant low murmur in the background.

Now it finally looks like there’s a wedding in the house, Jungkook’s mother thinks silently, with a small, satisfied smile.

“Can’t believe our Jungkook is getting married!”

“I know right! I’m so glad that it’s a love marriage!”

“Have you looked at Riya’s photos? She’s so pretty.”

Had it been in Busan, I would have booked the costliest bungalow for them. But no, they wanted a destination wedding. Jungkook’s father thinks as he looks at the newly arrived guests chatting among themselves.

Don’t get it wrong, the rented apartment is more than sufficient. But excuse him for his thinking. It’s his youngest son’s wedding after all. The father in him wanted to put the connections he has made over the years as the police commissioner, to good use.

“I am thinking of wearing red on the day of the wedding and saving the yellow for the reception.”

“I am confused as to what I should do with my hair.”

“We can simply book a stylist for a few days.”

I need to be out of here, comes the big conclusion in Jina, Jungkook’s sister in law’s, mind.

Her lack of patience could be credited to the fact that she is five months pregnant.

Jina is undoubtedly happy about the occasion of Jungkook’s marriage. How can she not be? Jungkook is like her own little brother, after all. But please excuse her for not wanting to be a part of the conversation as to who’s wearing what, when she feels like a boiled potato.

Jungkook will take care of this, Ju Hyun thinks, the moment his eyes meet his wife's. After seven years of marriage, one becomes an expert at deciphering their partner's expressions.

Ju Hyun looks at Jungkook, who's currently been crowded by the kids. “Jungkook?”

Jungkook looks up, and silently sighs to have found an excuse to escape.

“Yes, hyung?”

“Please take Jina out for some fresh air.”

Jungkook looks at his sister in law, and the reason behind his elder brother's request becomes very visible to him.

“Why can't you take her out?” Jungkook whispers.

“I have a case file I need to go through.” Comes Ju Hyun’s short and simple reply.

Before Jungkook can reply, his phone rings to notify him of an incoming call.

Riya.

“Can you come to hotel Delta?” Greets the voice as soon as Jungkook answers the call.

“Hotel Delta? Where is it?” Jungkook asks.

“I'll send you the address and please try to be as quick as possible. I need to go back to shooting.”

“Don’t worry, I'll be there in ten minutes,” Jungkook promises, even before checking where and how far the destination is.

As he ends the call, two expectant gazes, meet him. One that of Ju Hyun’s and the other that of Jina’s.

Oh right.

“Sinu-i, don't worry–,” Jungkook does a quick scan of the room and his eyes halt when they land on Jimin, relaxing with a cup of tea in his hand, “–Jimin will accompany you.”

Jimin looks perplexed, having no clue why his name just got mentioned.

Jungkook spots a fast-pacing Riya and curses in his mind, knowing damn well he’s late. In his defence, it isn’t an easy task to get out of a house full of relatives. Not to mention the traffic.

“So, this is your ten minutes?” Riya asks on spotting Jungkook, with a face that clearly reads that she is not impressed at all.

“I’m sorry, there was a whole lot of traffic on the way.”

Riya sighs and motions Jungkook to follow her. “Suzy called me, apparently no venues are available on the date you suggested.”

A frown appears on Jungkook’s face. “Is that so? But that date is very auspicious for marriage. It comes once every seven million years.”

A scoff. “Seven million years ago only dinosaurs got married.”

It takes Jungkook a moment to realise that it wasn’t Riya who spoke the words.

“Jungkook, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Jungkook, he will drop you off.”

“Hello,” Jungkook greets politely, waiting for you, who's sitting comfortably, to look up from the menu card.

“Hi,” you look up and give Jungkook a brief curt nod and return to the pages of the menu card.

YOU. It’s you!!!! Jungkook’s mind exclaims. The t20 girl.

“You drop her off at the address I mentioned, there you will find Stuart. Stuart will take Y/N to the hotel,” Riya gives off the instructions and quickly bids her goodbye.

Jungkook looks around a little, feeling awkward and a little clueless as to what he should do now. Seeing that you are so invested in the menu card, he decides to take a seat and ask you whether you would like to have something.

“Would you like some coffee?”

“An espresso with a shot of cream,”

The quick and brief answer surprises Jungkook. He blinks and waits for something more–what, he does not quite know (well, maybe you looking at him and acknowledging him would have been nice).

Pushing his surprise aside, he orders two coffees.

He looks around some more, because you refuse to leave the menu card even now. Out of curiosity, he subtly leans in and takes a peak to figure out what could be so interesting in those pages.

Huh? There is nothing out of the ordinary.

Are you perhaps memorising the prices of each item?

Well, shouldn’t you be showing a little more interest in someone you met seven years ago?

Jungkook averts his eyes like a thief being caught in action, when you flip the page. He sighs in relief though when he realizes that you have not caught into his little peaking. However, just moments later he feels stupid because what exactly is he doing?

“Do you remember we met seven years ago?” The question slips out from Jungkook’s mouth with a hint of hope and excitement.

You look up.

First blink.

Second blink.

Third blink.

“No.”

And then you are back to your beloved menu card.

“T20 cricket? Remember we talked about the different formats of cricket?” Jungkook pushes, hoping something would click.

You look up, again.

First blink.

Second blink.

Third blink.

“No.”

Jungkook deflates. Your eyes were blank. You truly do not recognize him.

Minutes pass as the order arrives and both of you have sips from your beverages. Surprisingly and much to Jungkook’s annoyance, your attention has now shifted to the view outside as you peer through the window right next to your seat.

“Shall we leave?” Jungkook queries as soon as both of you are done.

You give a nod and before Jungkook can even get up, you have your luggage on your shoulders and are heading out through the door.

Jungkook remains astonished with his mouth parted slightly as he looks at your retreating figure.

Isn’t he supposed to be the one guiding you out?

He shakes that thought away and quickly gets up with the intention of catching up with you before you get lost.

The car is filled with awkward silence. Thankfully, it does not bother Jungkook anymore. He has gotten used to it but for some reason, Jungkook finds it a little disappointing.

Maybe his excitement was simply rooted in the fact that he was meeting someone he never expected to meet again, that too after seven whole years.

Or maybe a small childish part of him thought, you two would hit it off again, like you did the last time. Maybe he had also entertained the idea of you two becoming good friends. With Riya being a common link between the two of you that thought was not much farfetched.

Wait. How do you and Riya know each other?

Jungkook looks at you but right as he’s about to voice his curiosity, your phone rings.

His eyes focus back on the road, with the knowing that he will have to wait to ask the question.

” Fāshēngle shénme?”

Huh?

“Gàosù tāmen wǒ hěn kuài jiù huì gěi tāmen qián.”

Is that…..Mandarin?

“Qǐng bǎozhòng.” You end the call.

It is Mandarin!

“You know how to speak Mandarin?” Forgotten is the question about the connection between you and Riya. Your fluency with the foreign language now has his attention.

You look at Jungkook and nod. Then you are back staring out of the window.

Huh? Do you only speak with nods? And what is with you and staring out of windows? Jungkook thinks, his annoyance sparking again.

“I think this is the place,” Jungkook announces, after ten more minutes of driving. Having stopped the car, he looks around through his window.

The sound of a car door opening echoes and Jungkook is startled to find that you are already out of the passenger seat. As you open the back door to take out your luggage, he quickly speaks, “Wait, let me call Stuart.”

“No need, I can see him,” you answer confidently.

Jungkook frowns in confusion and watches as you cross the road and pause in front of a short young man. Quickly taking out the number Riya had given him, he dials it.

To his relief, it is the man across the street that picks it up.

“Stuart?

“Speaking.”

“Take ma’am to the hotel carefully and make sure she has everything she might require.”

Jungkook thinks that for a brief moment, Stuart looked confused. But he ignores it thinking, he cannot be sure about a man’s expressions from across the street. With a confirmation from Stuart, he ends the call.

He waits in his car until the both of you are out of sight.

With a sigh of relief, he starts the car engine. As the tires get moving, his thoughts drift to you and how odd of an encounter it was.

He would have said you were not your usual self but then what does he even know about you? The only interaction he has had with you prior to this was seven years ago, a conversation that lasted for about ten minutes. People change. Maybe you did. Or maybe you were always like this and that one particular evening you happened to feel chatty.

Who knows.

As he turns off the engine after having parked his car in the garage, his phone pings.

Riya: Thanks :)

A content smile spreads over Jungkook’s face and forgotten is the weird encounter he just had with you.

TWO DAYS LATER

“Your letter is T.”

The groom’s side discusses among themselves as to who would continue the game further with the letter T.

“Aunty, why don’t you sing two lines?” Seema, the bride’s sister suggests.

Jungkook’s mother visibly shies at the suggestion and mutters a bunch of ‘No’s to deny the request. This only urges the bride’s team to request her even more.

After much hesitation, Jungkook’s mother takes a hold of the mic. However, the moment the microphone is in her hands a look of determination spreads over her features and a switch is flipped on.

…….and then takes place the onset of a classical song.

Both the teams are equally caught off guard by the sudden change of……atmosphere.

Jungkook, who was watching from a distance, finds great amusement at the scene unfolding in front of him. People find out about his mom’s expertise in classical music in the funniest of ways.

Knowing pretty well that the classical music will go on for some time, he decides to take a little stroll around the place. Since, Jungkook’s extended family have finally arrived, tonight is supposed to be a grand celebration of the engagement.

Some ten minutes later, he finds himself in a small circle of men involving a few of Riya’s industry friends.

“Shooting has been incredibly hectic these days,” groans Vikram.

“Last day, we shot till four in the morning,” adds Chris.

“With how busy the schedule is, I am just thankful that I can attend Riya’s marriage,” Jay, a rather close friend of Riya’s , comments.

Jungkook hums and nods along, only adding words when required.

“Isn’t that Trisha?” Vikram queries, squinting his eyes to figure out if his guess is right or wrong.

“Yes, it is,” Jay confirms.

“Oh god, she is drunk. Hope she does not cause a scene.” Chris’s words have the opposite effect as at that very moment, Trisha collides with a waiter and causes the tray of mocktail he was carrying to fall on the ground.

“You can never trust Trisha and Y/N to not cause trouble.”

“Y/N?” The mention of your name takes Jungkook by surprise. Why are you getting mentioned out of nowhere? And how do Riya’s friends know you?

“You have not heard of Y/N? She is Riya’s younger sister.”

Okay, whoa, Jungkook did not see this coming.

“Y/N is Riya’s sister?” Jungkook asks, just in case he had heard things wrong.

“Yeah, they are five sisters, Seema, Kriti, Riya, Neena and Y/N.”

He is well familiar with the other four names. He has met them, talked to them and sees them quite often at family occasions. But, you? You are the fifth sister?

The noises around Jungkook fade as his mind processes this newfound information.

He did not think that his curiosity about your and Riya’s connection would be answered this way and that you would turn out to be Riya’s sister.

Jungkook has been trying his best to sleep.

His attempt, so far, has remained unsuccessful.

His mind has been going in circles about you.

It’s not like he didn’t know that Riya has four sisters. But he knew the one sister who he had never had the opportunity to meet with, as Mita. To add to that, he had never seen a single picture that you were a part of.

The name Mita is still explainable. Maybe that’s a nickname given to you by your family. But what makes Jungkook feel doubtful is your reason for absence. Common knowledge was you were abroad studying and doing research work. You were busy and never got the time to pay a visit.

But Jungkook doubts that someone going abroad would leave their home the way you did; climbing over a wall. And for some reason, he is sure that, that was the day you left because you are only back now. Had you visited before, Jungkook is sure that he would have known.

However, now your presence that day made sense to him. You were the bride’s sister.

Bride’s sister climbs over the wall and takes a cab to the airport on the day of the wedding. In no world does that sound normal.

Jungkook turns around, pulls the blanket up to his chest, stares at the wall and sighs.

This whole thinking and trying to figure out why he did not know you were Riya’s sister, any sooner is only an attempt to cover up and ignore the fact that he is worried.

But can he really be blamed? How can he not be worried?

Dropping off your fiancé’s friend to a place is one thing and dropping off your fiancé’s sister to a place totally unknown to him is one thing.

Are you eating alright? Are the services there good? Is the place clean?

Jungkook sighs again.

Fuck this.

He removes the blanket, puts on a shirt and grabs his car keys.

He needs to know for sure that the place you are staying at is good and safe. Maybe then, he will be able to sleep peacefully.

HAPPY GUEST HOUSE.

The signboard reads. Except, the ‘A’ and ‘O’ are missing and the signboard is crooked.

It isn’t just the signboard though. It is also the overall isolated aura this place has, that makes Jungkook wish he had checked the place you were staying at while dropping off.

Still, he checks the address on his phone one last time, hoping that he has got the wrong place and that you are not actually staying here. The address on his screen, however, remains unchanged, confirming that this indeed is the place.

With a sigh, he walks in through the gate. Ain’t no way he is letting you stay here any longer.

“Miss Y/N,” he gives your name to the guy at the reception, who looks barely awake.

The guy looks at Jungkook and takes out a register.

“Room 112,” the receptionist guy informs, after flipping through some pages.

Jungkook keeps standing there. However, when the receptionist just goes to sit on a chair and yawns, Jungkook loses it. “What do you mean by room 112? An unknown man is asking you for a woman’s room number and you just give it? Don’t even ask how I am related to her, don’t even care that I might just go up to her room right now. What on earth is wrong with you?”

The guy is the least bit bothered. “Do you want to meet her or not?”

Oh, fuck it. Arguing with the guy is useless.

Without another word, he climbs the flight of stairs to find room number 112. Thankfully, it hardly takes him only a minute or so to find your room.

He raises his fist and knocks on the door. However, after the very first knock, he realizes that the door is unlocked.

Gently pushing the door open, he turns on his mobile’s flashlight and calls your name. “Y/N?”

No response.

“Y/N, it is Jungkook.”

No response.

“Y/N, if you are here-“

Then he spots you. You’re sleeping on the floor, all curled up from the cold.

“Y/N?” he kneels down and gently shakes you by your arms, to wake you up. “Y/N? Please wake up.”

“Mm?” You make a small noise at the back of your throat, and slowly, very slowly open your eyes.

“Get up and pack your bags.”

You’re still not fully awake and it takes you a moment to process what he is saying. “Why?”

“You’re coming home with me.”

“Idiot, what kind of a place did you take my guest to?” At some point, Jungkook just could not take it anymore and ended up calling Stuart, to give him an earful. “Forget about good services, there is no security!”

“Sir, I am sure they let you in because you look like someone from a good family,” comes Stuart’s reply, from the other side.

Jungkook scoffs, finding so many flaws in that logic. “Do you have any idea the amount of mosquitoes that are there in this place? What if she had caught dengue?”

“Sir, don’t worry, the dengue mosquitoes don’t bite at night.”

“Oh yes, malaria is so much of a better option,” Jungkook replies sarcastically and cuts the call.

“Mosquitoes don’t bite me,” you offer in a soft voice.

“I am sorry, Y/N. Had I known this was the place, I would have never let you stay here,” Jungkook apologizes for the umpteenth time.

You offer him a small smile and shake your head. “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

You both walk to his car and get in. Once inside, Jungkook offers if you’d like to listen to some music, which you politely decline.

“Did you have dinner?” He asks, wondering if he should make a pit stop on his way to a food outlet.

You reply with a small nod of your head, letting him know that there is no need for that.

As the car gets moving, you sigh and relax in the passenger seat. The roads are empty, which is to be expected considering it’s well past midnight. A result of which, is the cool breeze that hits your face, something that you admittedly find really enjoyable.

You see the roads passing by and it suddenly occurs to you that you are out in your hometown after a really long time–seven years to be exact. The roads feel the same except for the fact that they are entirely different.

The place reminds you of the days when you were younger and–

You take a deep inhale, trying to distract your thoughts from going in that direction.

In the last couple of days, you have surely been out of that little dingy place that runs under the name of a hotel but you were never out like this. Maybe that is why thoughts and feelings you have wanted to avoid and bury, are trying to say their ‘hello’s to you.

“Actually,” you begin in a soft mumble, “some music would be nice.”

“Sure,” Jungkook turns on the radio and soon a soft melody fills the air.

Thankfully, the music does serve as a sweet distraction as you refuse to focus on anything but counting the rhythmic drum beats, blocking any other thoughts and feelings in the process.

Unbeknownst to you, at some point your eyes start feeling heavy and you start dozing off. You would never admit it out loud, not even to yourself, but you hadn’t been getting good sleep the past few days. And for some reason, the car seats seem really comfortable to you.

What wakes you up after what could possibly have been ages, is a soft call of your name. You slowly open your eyes and with a blurry vision register that Jungkook is speaking to you.

“We are here,” the words reach your ears and you let out a small hum.

With steps like that of a drunk man–or mayhaps that of a toddler–you blindly follow Jungkook into the building. If someone were to ask you what floor the elevator stopped at, you wouldn’t be able to tell.

When you both enter the apartment, you hardly take your environment into consideration and speak rather loudly; “Can I have–“

A hand abruptly clamps down on your mouth and causes the rest of your words to come out muffled. The next thing you know, you are being dragged into a different room.

The sudden movements are enough to clear your drowsiness and you’re back in your full senses.

“Shhh,” Jungkook for the first time tonight, looks annoyed. “People are sleeping. You will wake them up.”

“Sorry,” you whisper, realising your mistake. “I just need a wet towel.”

Jungkook nods, about to get you what you just asked for but then pauses to look at you. “Wet towel? A dry won’t work? Just soak it in water.”

“That will work too.”

He nods again and opens a cupboard to fetch a towel. “By the way, what will you do with a wet towel?”

“Placing a wet towel on your stomach kills hunger.”

Jungkook is perplexed at your words and the annoyed frown on his face, melts into that of disbelief. “I asked you whether you had dinner or not.”

“This is the only place that is open at this time.” These are the words that Jungkook introduces the small street-side restaurant, with. “One thing I can assure you is, the food doesn’t disappoint.”

You give a small shy nod, feeling guilty for letting it slip that you indeed did not have dinner. In your defense, you really did not think it was necessary to meet the needs of your empty stomach. The other two nights, the wet towel technique worked just fine.

“I’d have survived the night you know,” you offer lightly as a joke but actually meaning it.

“I know you would have,” Jungkook offers and for some reason, the reply shuts you up.

As you both occupy the seats of a two-seater table, you realise that the entire place is empty except for a young couple occupying one of the corner seats.

“Butter chicken and chicken chow mein are the only two food items available at this time,” the waiter informs, looking like he is ready to retire for the day.

“Two half chicken chow mein,” you decide.

“I won’t eat—,” Jungkook is cut off by your feet harshly slamming on his, under the table.

“Two half chow mein,” you confirm. Once the waiter is gone you lean forward and whisper, “Two halves are always more than one full.”

Jungkook’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and he nods in understanding, admittedly impressed by your little tips and tricks.

The time it takes for you to finish the two half plates of chowmein is embarrassingly short. It briefly makes Jungkook wonder whether you had anything to eat yesterday—as a matter of fact, the day before yesterday—but he decides not to dwell on it. He makes peace with the fact that you will go to bed today with a full stomach.

Once you’re done, you release a sigh, almost having forgotten to breathe in the process. Sometimes, you don’t realise how hungry you actually were unless you have filled your stomach to the brim.

“Thank you.” You speak, genuinely grateful for everything that Jungkook has done for you.

“You’re welcome,” he replies. “Next time, just be honest if you’re hungry.”

The words cause you to let out a smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Once the bills are paid, and you have had your fair share of collecting the sugar coated fennel seeds in a napkin, the both of you find yourselves back inside the car for a third time tonight.

This time, there is no music and you don’t feel a need for a distraction either.

Your mind is rather occupied with the events of today and what it means for your tomorrow.

You didn’t think things would take a turn like this but admittedly it makes it easier for you to accomplish what you came for. The only thing you perhaps feel guilty for, is causing Jungkook trouble. Heck, you are not even sure whether Riya knows that Jungkook has offered for you to stay in his place.

Actually, you know. There’s no way Riya knows about it. Had she known, you wouldn’t have been sitting here.

The thought makes you briefly look at Jungkook and you suddenly find yourself feeling sorry for all the trouble you’re undoubtedly going to cause between him and Riya. But more than the guilt, you feel grateful for his kindness.

Jungkook seems to have a very genuine, welcoming aura. Despite everything he has done for you, you have not felt as if he is doing a favour on you. He seems like the kind of person who would tell you on your face, if he was annoyed or if you were being too much. That saves you from the guessing game.

Maybe if you were not in so much of a rush to leave, you and Jungkook would have made good friends.

When you leave, you should probably leave a thank you gift for him, as a token of your appreciation.

Your train of thought is broken by the sound of a hiccup.

“I am–,” a hiccup, “–sorry.” Jungkook apologises, feeling a little shy.

“It’s okay.” You make a mental note to offer him a bottle of water at the next signal.

However, after the fifth hiccup, a soft mumble of the word Riya reaches your ears and you soon realise it is repetitive in between each hiccup.

“What are you doing?” You ask, confused.

Jungkook glances at you from the corner of his eyes. “It is said you get hiccups when someone is thinking of you and who else could be thinking of me, but Riya? So, I am taking her name in hopes that the hiccups go away.”

“In that case you should definitely take my name,” you suggest. “From the moment that I have sat in the car, I have been thinking of you.”

Jungkook looks at you once again, momentarily caught off guard by your honesty but then decides to take up on your suggestion.

“Y/N.”

Hiccup.

“Y/N.”

Hiccup.

“Y/N.”

Hiccup.

You tsk and shake your head. “You see, a hiccup is essentially an involuntary spasm of the diaphragm which causes sudden closure of the epiglottis which creates the ‘hic’ sound.”

“And the remedy for that is to just let it be, but if it lasts too long, take medicines like maloperidol, nanoclopramide and florpromazine, which isn’t in the car–” your chew on your nails briefly, recalling other solutions, “–there is another way....it is called the swimmer’s remedy.”

You press the tip of your little fingers against your nostrils, blocking the free passage of air. Simultaneously, you widen your eyes, stick out your tongue and exhale loudly.

“But you can’t do that either, because you’re driving,” you murmur, more so to yourself.

Well, minus the hand placement and the tongue, Jungkook’s eyes are fairly as wide as yours were.

“And the third way is–”, you sneak a glance at Jungkook to ensure that his eyes are focused on the road. Out of nowhere, your hands take a hold of the steering and you swiftly turn it in the other direction causing the car to take a sudden turn.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU INSANE?!”

You release your grip and look at him, mildly apologetic. “The third method is shock.”

Jungkook looks confused, the suddenness of your movements still having its effect on him. However, after a few moments of silence, Jungkook puts a hand on his stomach and realizes that the hiccups are indeed gone!

The realisation causes him to chuckle. “Are you a doctor?”

“Nope,” you reply, shaking your head, glad that you could be of help. A few beats later, you speak again. “By the way, do you remember we met seven years ago? T20 cricket?”

The turn of Jungkook’s head towards you is a slow one and he wonders if you really did say that.

If you enjoyed reading this, consider supporting me on my Patreon!

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenarios #jungkook au #Jungkook series #Jungkook ff #bts x reader #slow burn #Fic: hl

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neotrances · 2 years ago

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hi my names tyler, im a autistic black trans guy escaping an abusive household, im remaking this post bc it’s gotten long and donations have mostly stoped

TLDR: my homophobic mother who is verbally physically and financially abusive kicked me out of the house, i cannot go “home” ever as i’m in the process of cutting ties entirely, she has attempted to kill me multiple times and has threatened to kill my pets, something she has done in the past, as of may 15th she’s called all of my family members and have gotten them to turn on me bc of not wishing her a happy mother’s day, the last time we spoke in person threw my belongings (as well as my cats) into the street and threatened to harm me if i return / call the cops, she is incredibly violent, homophobic, transphobic, and mentally unstable and i want to go no contact

i’m staying at my partners parents house but this is not permanent stable housing, i have two cats staying in the room with me and my bf, im looking to find stable housing in the bucks county, Trentons border or north east philly areas, i can afford up to 1k in rent but would prefer anything lower / roommates to split rent for a place near those areas

all money I get will go directly into my savings and will be for paying rent and application fees, i have a steady money flow but i don’t want to risk getting evicted if i find a place, if you know anyone that can spare housing or who is looking for a roommate near these areas please reach out to me i’d really appreciate it, i don’t have many options, i just want to get my life together and be free of my mom so anything at all helps, the gofundme can be spread on its own, i’ll try to update it or this post as often as i can, i just spent about $200 on a new phone today as my mothers been cutting my service on and off despite me paying my own phone bill and i’m trying to make sure her and my family can’t contact me anymore, below are other ways to donate if needed, thankyou for taking the time to read / spread this

paypal + venmo

last updated october 14th, here’s a link to my most recent dono post, i have a depop in my pinned on my blog, thankyou for any support given

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megamindsecretlair · 8 months ago

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If I Took You Home, Part 1

Pairing: Dom!Kevin Atwater x Sub!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. SMUT. Food porn. PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (female receiving) teasing, fingering (female receiving), cum play, size kink, dirty talk, praise kink, all consensual. D/s dynamics.

Summary: Your friends were all in relationships so that meant it was time to bug you about your singledom. They were constantly setting you up on dates that made you back out. However, you were sick of saying no and your friend's boyfriend really played up his coworker and friend. It was all true. Your blind date leaves you wanting more.

Word Count: 6,245k

AO3 Link | Part 2

A/N: Hello, my loves. I am missing Kevin so bad! It's been 3 WEEKS without a new episode. I'm dying over here. Reblog and comment to save a writer's life. And please put ages in bios! Or get blockt!

Taglist: @planetblaque @browngirldominion @we-outsiiiide @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz @amethyst09 @ciaqui @harmshake @nworbaij @judymfmoody @notapradagurl7 @miyuhpapayuh @twocentuar @westside-rot @yaachtynoboat711 @abeautifulmindexposed @blowmymbackout @bigsisbria @babybratzmaraj @darqchilddaydreamz

You knew better than to trust your damn friends. You sat at a nice restaurant in a casual berry colored dress, sipping wine and looking like a pathetic loser eating dinner alone. You didn’t have a book to try and pretend like this was planned. Like you decided to take yourself on a date.

You glanced at your phone. To be fair, you were a bit early. Only because you were so nervous about a blind date to begin with. Why had you said yes?

You weren’t sure now. Maybe it was your friends and their constant hounding. They were all hooked up with their respective partners so now you were getting the pitying stares. The stressed smiles after they got done gushing about their own dates and partners. As if being single was some type of disease they wanted to cure.

You took another sip of the sweet wine and thought about canceling. Blind dates were a joke. They probably set you up with some ogre of a man who picked his teeth at the table or scratched his belly after he was finished.

You looked over the menu to give yourself something to do, so you weren’t just staring at your phone.

Your mind ran through all kinds of possibilities for this random man you decided to go out with. Maybe he was bald. Maybe he was shorter than you. You didn't mind dating someone short, but they usually had complexes that you weren’t capable of dealing with. Maybe he was a secret chauvinist…

“Excuse me?” You turned your head to the words and got a face full of stomach. You tilted your head up and saw a gorgeous man with hickory smoked skin, dark and luscious beard, and kinked hair. He smiled wide showing a row of beautiful teeth and you were momentarily struck stupid.

“Friend of Claire’s right?” He asked. “I hope.” He chuckled and licked his lips. Your eyes caught the movement, the slow glide of his tongue across the swell of his lips.

You swallowed a giant ball of stupid thoughts, nodding because you didn’t trust your voice. You were going to have to marry Claire for this one. Absolutely marry her. Her boyfriend, Jay, was going to have to get in line.

The man stuck his hand out and you looked at it briefly, before looking back into his deep brown eyes. “Kevin Atwater,” he said.

You sputtered and mumbled out your name, finally taking his hand and shaking it. His hand eclipsed yours, so huge with thick fingers. His nails were clean too. He smiled and finally took the seat opposite you.

You rearranged the napkin on your nap to give you a reason to collect yourself. You were not the type to go all googly eyed for a man. At least not where they could see. When you looked up, you caught the eye of the woman next to you who had been throwing her own pitying looks your way.

You smirked and lifted an eyebrow, communicating without words. She swiftly turned her gaze to her own date, fixing her already neat bun.

Kevin cleared his throat, pulling the seat closer to the table. His legs were so long however, that he still had a lot of room from the table to his olive green button up. It was open at the collar, giving you a peak at his chest and a black tank underneath. A hint of a chain He wore dark jeans and dark green boots to match and a row of bracelets on his wrists. He had already taken off his black puffer jacket when you weren’t looking.

“You find the restaurant okay?” You asked.

“Yes, ma’am. The parking though?” He asked and shook his head. You giggled, feeling giddy over the ma’am comment rather than annoyed. He said it like it was a casual, Southern thing and not in a teasing way.

“I know. But I couldn’t believe you’d never been to this place. I thought you grew up in Chicago?” You asked.

“I did. ‘Bout some blocks that way,” he said, pointing South. “But life got busy. Maybe I just needed the right sign to go.”

You smiled. It was a cheesy joke, but why was it working? Perhaps the wine finally got to you, settling low in your belly. Maybe the sudden ache in your pussy was from the alcohol and not the way he looked framed by the wall of lights behind him. Rather than sink out of focus, his face seemed only framed by it. Kissed by it. Like the light settled into his skin with the softest sigh.

“I’m sorry if I started without you,” you said, grabbing your wine and taking a sip. You’d need your wits about you if you were going to remain cool and calm in his presence. After the disastrous first impression, you needed some points in your favor.

“That’s fine. I probably would have to. What’s that you’re drinking?” He asked. He picked up the menu but didn’t look at it as you told him the vintage. He nodded and gave you an approving grin.

“Alright, I’ve never had it. Is it good?” He asked.

You shrugged. “Not my favorite but it’ll do,” you said. He grinned and caught the attention of a passing waiter. He ordered some type of bourbon, Old Emmer, and then the conversation turned towards the food.

“Since I’ve never been here, what’s good?” He asked.

The Italian restaurant was famous for a lot of things, but none more so than the lasagna. Every time you had it, you swore up and down that someone in the kitchen was from the Old Country. You could taste the sunshine, hearth, and powdered hands as it worked the dough on the noodles. The tomatoes from the vine in the sauce. That hint of spice from the earth itself. The soft wool of the goat that provided the cheese. And the meat. You resisted the urge to pinch your fingers and kiss your mouth every time you thought of it.

“I’d say…the lasagna. I can’t resist it when I’m here,” you said. You hoped you sounded cool about it. If given half a chance, your enthusiasm would erupt all over the table and he’d be halfway down the street before you could call him back.

“Lasagna it is, then,” he said. The waiter arrived with his drink and Kevin took a sip. He tilted his whole body back, pulling up his arm so that you had a good look at his throat. The bob of his Adam’s apple as he sipped it down.

You uncrossed and then re-crossed your legs, your thighs burning in the most unholy way. It settled low in your belly, echoing throughout your core. Nasty thoughts filled your brain. Thoughts you did not need to think about this man that was only sipping a drink.

He nodded his approval and the waiter asked if you were ready to order. Kevin motioned for you to go first, so you ordered the lasagna. Kevin ordered the same thing and then the waiter took your menus.

There was no more armor against Kevin and his attractive smile. “So, what made you agree to a blind date?” You asked. As you tried to steer your thoughts to safer territory, you couldn’t imagine a man as fine as him still remaining single.

“My job doesn’t exactly lend itself to a standard schedule. Makes it hard to meet some folks,” he said. He settled back in his seat and twisted his glass in his hand. The glass looked tiny in comparison.

You nodded. Claire already told you that Kevin was a cop, like Jay. You asked if it was tough dating a cop. She confessed that it was hard as hell because of the worry. Over the fact that he might not always walk back through the door. And that’s with someone white. Kevin is Black and that brought an extra layer of worry.

You asked if it was worth it. A stupid grin spread across her face. She told you that it was. She’d do it over and over again. Plus the handcuffs helped.

“Especially someone that doesn’t automatically see you as a person,” you said.

Kevin nodded. “I’ve had some tussles but I’m still here,” he said. Your eyes darted to his body, taking in his thick muscles and corded forearms. You had no doubt that it’d have to be something huge to strike down Kevin Atwater.

“I’m glad you are. Okay, but seriously. Help me understand. How do you explain, all of that,” you said and waved to his whole body. “And no long term girlfriend.”

Kevn laughed. “I promise, it’s the job and just not vibing with anyone. There was nothing wrong with them, it just wasn’t there. But now you have to tell me something. How do you explain all of that,” he said and waved to your body. “And no one’s snatched you up yet.”

He smiled and rolled your eyes, refusing to laugh. “I find that some guys these days have to be still carrying around cavemen genes or something. It’s really bad out there,” you said and shivered.

Truth was, it was incredibly hard to find someone that fit your brand of nasty. You loved sex. Had an insatiable appetite, practically thinking of it 24/7. But you also craved submission. You did so much every day, constantly finding the energy to breathe from second to second. Your work kept you down and your family was demanding. You had to keep up with friends and schedules and made hundreds of tiny decisions every day.

Mentally calculating what was too dressy, too girly, too boyish, too much, not enough. The last place you wanted to have control of was the bedroom. The last thing you wanted to do was order around a man in the sheets.

Sometimes you just craved masculinity. You couldn’t define it but you’d know it when you see it. The way a man just went around being a man. Flexing muscles, taking up space, manspreading, protecting. What turned you on more was when a man was acting in defense of someone else.

And it was hard to achieve that with men these days. Because they’d all reverted to primitive, banging on the drums type of seduction. One drink earned them the right to put their hands on your thighs. Buying you food was a ticket to second base. You couldn’t submit if you didn’t trust the fucker in charge of you.

Glancing at Kevin though, masculinity poured off of him in waves. You wondered what it would be like to submit to him. To hand over your orgasms and watch him treat them with love and care.

Your pussy throbbed in response like she loved that idea.

“Don’t tell me it’s that bad,” he said and cringed. You gave him a funny look. He shook his head and cursed.

“Well on behalf of my gender, I’m very sorry. Then again, it brought us together,” he said. He licked his lips and narrowed his eyes at you. You giggled.

“Okay, stop. You know what you’re doing!” You said.

“What am I doing?” He asked. His voice grew a little rougher and you gasped.

“Looking at me like that,” you said. Your voice grew softer.

“How am I looking at you?” He asked.

You were saved from answering by the waiter bringing you lasagna. One huge slice was placed in front of you, a sloppy square of dripping sauce and steam. Some of the edges were burned, the tomato sauce dark with spices. It smelled divine.

Kevin grinned and looked down at his meal. He gave you a wink, like he was congratulating you on a good choice. But you waited until after the garlic bread was placed between you. He picked up his fork and cut a piece of the lasagna.

Strings of cheese went with it and he rolled it around his fork. He brought it to his mouth and his juicy lips sucked up wayward sauce. You were treated to another sight of Kevin’s tongue on his lips.

He chewed and then moaned, a low and deep sound erupting from his chest. Your pussy throbbed with the unexpected praise. You felt good to treat him to something you enjoyed. You got the same feeling when you introduced a new artist or song to someone. But nothing as visceral as pleasing Kevin.

You finally bit into your own lasagna and closed your eyes, a moan escaping you involuntarily. You even did a little jig, as the food brought so many flavors to your mouth. Something savory with a tiny hint of sweetness. The cheese and noodles complementing each other so well. The meat soaked with the sauce that made you imagine ripened red tomatoes. Plump with flavor.

You remembered where you were, on a whole ass date with a literal offering from the gods. You opened your eyes and looked at Kevin who sat still with adoration all over his face. Like he witnessed the most magnificent phenomenon and couldn’t make sense of it.

You gave him a sheepish grin but he gave you a shimmy back. He turned it into a Black person acknowledging that the food was good. No words necessary. Just brown eyes meeting brown eyes.

Conversation turned towards family as he talked about having to help his brother and sister after his dad went to prison. You nodded along, knowing that dance all too well. He glowed with pride as he talked about his siblings and how it was hard being their father and their brother.

He admitted they fell into some drama some years ago, but they were all heading towards healing. He was sad for the childhood he lost, but he would do it all over again. You wondered what it would be like to be so positive like him and Claire. The way they saw the bullshit day in and day out and got completely opposite experiences than you.

You tried not to be a storm cloud, shitting all over what came your way. You couldn’t help it. Negativity was safer. A constant hammer against your soft heart to try and harden you up. But you still had that need to empathize with everything and everyone. And so in the end, it hurt just the same.

You told him about your family and friends and how you came to know Claire. You asked about him and Jay working together and he said that they got off to a rocky start, but ended up being brothers on the other side of it.

You loved listening to him speak. The deep, whispery tone of his that instantly put you at peace and your core set to burning. You longed to hear that whispered in your ear while he did something disgusting to you later.

Yeah, you’d already decided. You were taking this man home with you and you were going to hand him the reins. You hoped that he delivered. That his smooth and sexy interior matched the drop dead gorgeous exterior.

You were needy with want. Wanting him. It was an insane thought. You’d only just met him. But his vibe put out someone trustworthy and you always trusted your instincts.

Dinner flew by with more fascinating stories from Kevin. You delved into past relationships and laughed at each of his horror stories. You told some of your own and was mortified how you could be so blind at the time.

You had a second glass of wine and he had more bourbon as you shared a dessert. The gelato was sweet and icy. You scooped some on your spoon and made a show of putting it in your mouth. Nothing outrageous, just something to tease him with.

He lowered his eyes to your mouth and you felt desired. You felt settled in your body. It was a heady feeling and you knew that it had all to do with Kevin. Once he paid the check, absolutely refusing you when you told him that you should pay since you suggested the restaurant.

You walked outside into frosty Chicago. No matter the time of year, it was a bitter place to be. The wind howled around your shins. You brought your coat closer around your neck. Kevin walked you to your car.

You didn’t have to walk so close together. He didn’t have to reach an arm out to keep your balance on low heeled shoes. Yet, your shoulders constantly bumped into his and his arm casually went around your shoulders.

You talked and laughed, dreading every inch of sidewalk you covered. You didn’t want to leave him but you didn’t know how to transition from this date to taking off his pants. When you got to the car on the driver’s side, Kevin smiled at you. You smiled back.

He stepped forward, pushing into you. You walked backwards until your back hit the side of the car. He pinched your chin, bringing your face closer to his. His eyes never left yours while he tilted his head.

“Tell me I’m not the only one feeling this,” he said. His lips brushed against yours and you sighed. You wanted to whimper.

“I feel it too,” you whispered.

“Come home with me then. Follow me home,” he said.

“I’ll follow you,” you promised. You’d follow him anywhere. This was the most radical thing you’d ever done in your life. Going home with a man after one date? The scandal of it all would turn your friends’ heads. Not to mention, they’d tease the fuck out of you about your blind date going well.

He smiled against your lips, lightly pressing in. He tasted like the bourbon he drank with a hint of pasta. It was a delicious spicy and savory mix that made you lean in for another one. He gave you a brief kiss and then pulled back.

“I’ll see you there,” he said. He opened your car door behind you, smiling at you, and then tucked you in. You put on your seatbelt and he closed the door with a tap. He finally headed down the street to his own car. You started your car and pulled into the street.

The blast of warm air from the heater was just what you needed. Except it’d probably make you sweat harder between your thick thighs. You needed his hands there already, spreading your legs so he could look his fill. You could picture it all so well. So vivid.

He pulled out into the street and you followed him to his place. To his credit, he didn’t speed up or take close lights so that you couldn’t follow. He put his blinker on way ahead of time so you didn’t have to scramble after him.

He led you to a corner building that seemed to be an apartment. The faded blue blended well into the dark night, reflecting the stars above. You found available parking and then got out of your car, looking for Kevin.

He walked down the street to you, collecting you from your car with that wide grin of his. His breath fogged into the night time and you smiled. You took your purse with you. You wrapped your hand around his forearm and he led you to the front door.

Inside, the place was as cramped as the rest of Chicago, yet roomy enough that you felt like you could breathe. The inside was nice. There was no peeling paint or stained walls. All of the lights worked and there was a first aid kit inside the doorway. You smiled at Kevin. He told you that he bought a building and planned on getting it fixed up. Something to fall back on after he was done with the force.

He led you to his apartment on the first floor and in the back. His apartment was well decorated in dark tones of mahogany and deep steel blue. There was brick on some walls and it all fit with his dark furniture. It was clean and homey at the same time.

There were sweet smelling candles on the coffee table and newspapers beside at a safe distance. He had a record player next to his TV and a rack of vinyl records underneath it. He turned on ambient lights, enough to set the mood without it being sleazy.

He took your coat off and then his own, hanging it on a rack behind the door. You couldn’t walk two feet forward before he grabbed your hips and pushed you against the wall. He thumbs rubbed your hips back and forward.

He hummed and moved his body closer so that from the chest down, there wasn’t an inch of space to be found. He was so tall. So imposing. So incredibly taller than you that your brain melted.

“I can give you the tour now or later. If it’s now, you’ll take your clothes off for every room we visit. If it’s later, it’s straight to my bedroom but I take my time,” he said.

Your body shivered. You were paralyzed with indecision. You wanted to do both. At the same time. You bit your lip, thinking about which you wanted more.

Kevin smiled. “Now it is. The foyer counts as a room,” he said.

You giggled because his “foyer” opened directly into the kitchen and living room. But you took off one shoe and Kevin smiled. He moved you into the kitchen. “The kitchen,” he said.

He smelled so good, his natural scent filling the room since you were no longer outside. The kitchen was clean, dishes put away and a healthy row of seasonings. He knew his way around a kitchen.

You took off your other shoe, teasing him by technically following the rules. Just because you wanted to submit didn’t mean you couldn’t put up a fight. He took your hands and led you to the living room, his stormy gray couches made lighter by the few throw pillows. He turned on the light in the hallway, and led you to the bathroom. Your dress fell from your shoulders, around your hips, and down your legs. The shimmery material tickled your skin.

He showed you the bathroom. You were already wet from the timbre of his voice. Giving him a strip show and delaying the pleasure only made you unbearably wet. There was a particular ache in your pussy that you needed filled as soon as possible.

You glanced around the bathroom, his enormous shower. You took off your bra, sliding it from your shoulders and looking at him from behind your shoulder. He leaned against the doorway, filling it completely. He blocked out most of the light behind him and sucked in the warm light in his bathroom.

He had a lean to his wide hips and a hand on his belt. The other was above his head. He scratched his head as his eyes looked over your body. “Turn around,” he ordered.

You did as he said, turning around so that he could see your body. He walked closer, eyes straight to your breasts. Your breathing increased, watching him look at your body and find you appealing in so many ways.

He stopped in front of you and leaned down, planting a kiss to each breast. He hummed low in his throat. “I almost can’t make it one more room,” he said.

You grinned. You took his hand while he brought you to his room finally. It definitely looked like him. Nice, clean, but an air of feeling lived in. He had photos of his siblings in his room, some artwork, and his huge bed. It had to be two king sized beds put together. Or maybe it was just your imagination. But you knew that he was tall as hell so he needed a bed big enough.

It was the final room. Kevin led you further in, half closing the door. He trailed a finger across your shoulders as he walked into the room, taking off his green button up. He stood in a blank tank underneath.

Next went his jeans. He kicked off his shoes and then tugged the rest of his pants off. Now he had dark gray briefs and a black tank on. He looked like the poster child on the packages men’s underwear came in.

He sat down on the edge of his bed and beckoned you to come closer. You walked closer, the natural swing in your hips making you feel powerful even though you were handing yourself over to this man.

It felt naughty. It felt kinky. You finally found someone who could help turn your brain off. Someone who made you so hungry with desire that you didn’t notice anything else. You stopped in front of him.

“Panties,” he said.

A small word but a physical effect on you. You trembled with need while you slipped your panties down your legs. You stepped out of them and tossed them to the side. Kevin’s gaze drifted down your body, stopping at the juncture of your legs.

Kevin crooked his finger and then you stepped forward, straddling his thick thigh. You whimpered at the pressure to your clit. Kevin grinned, gripping your ass and putting you in the spot he wanted. Somewhere between his knee and his hip, where you were perfectly balanced.

“Let me watch you give yourself pleasure,” he said. It wasn’t a question. More like a soft plea wrapped in a demand. He deferred to your choices while still taking charge. You nodded.

You put your hands on his shoulders and gyrated on his leg, rubbing your pussy on his thigh. He had coarse hair there, but it only served as an extra bit of friction against your pussy. You whimpered more, finding a rhythm that rubbed against it well.

“Open your eyes and look at me,” he said, that whispery tone tugging on a muscle in your leg. It jumped as you moved your body back and forth.

You opened your eyes and stared into his while you got yourself off on his thigh. He had one hand on your ass, squeezing every so often while you whimpered and whined. “Come on, let me see you let loose,” he whispered.

You whimpered more, getting closer to the sound of his voice. “Let me see it. Let go,” he continued.

You gripped his shoulders and squeezed your legs, so impossibly close. You gave one final sigh before you did explode, cumming on his thigh. You twitched and jerked, cries escaping from you.

“Hmm, cum so pretty,” he mused.

He brought his hand down between your legs, spreading your arousal on his fingers. He moaned at how you soaked his thigh. He rubbed your clit before pushing his fingers inside of you. His fingers searched inside while he brought his lips to yours.

He treated you with a tender but scorching kiss. The kind that made you curl your toes. He nibbled on your bottom lip. You cried out as he rubbed against a deep part inside of you. He flicked his fingers a few more times and you knew that he found your sweet spot.

He mercilessly rubbed it while you sputtered and moaned. You clung to him, hands fisting his tank top. “Shh, don’t fight that shit. Cum again for me,” he said.

You huffed in a delicious, torturous pain. You were trying. You didn’t mean to fight it, only that you were so turned on. You were afraid that you’d rip apart at the seams and never find a way back to your body.

But you continued to look into his drunken eyes, kissing along your mouth. Till it turned sloppy. Till you couldn’t keep your eyes open a second longer. You felt your orgasm approaching once more. You were still nervous, but there was no holding this one back.

You gave up the fight, letting the orgasm wash over you. You were right. It tore you into tiny shreds. You cried out, twitching in his lap. His other arm came around to hold you still while he continued to finger fuck you.

Your legs shook on him while you rode an intense high. You never wanted to come back down. Reluctantly, you did. Kevin slowed his fingers and then finally brought them to your lips. He painted your lips with your cum and you smelled yourself.

Your pussy clenched and Kevin grinned. He kissed you, licking your essence and sharing it with you. Your tongues mixed and danced. You clung to him, arms wrapped around his neck.

You made out for some time. Felt like an eternity. Like you spent thousands of years kissing him and it was enough to sustain you. You began gyrating on his leg again. So fucking insatiable for a man of his size.

He pulled back slowly, keeping your lips pressed together for as long as he could. “Never gon’ get sick of that,” he said. “Now I wanna taste it.”

He made you stand up. Then he stood up himself, once more dazzling you with his height. He pushed you onto the bed and commanded you to open your legs. He palmed himself, adjusting his thick bulge, and then climbed onto the bed. He pushed you to the middle so that he had enough room to lay down.

He stared at you while he lowered his mouth to your pussy. The swipe of his tongue made you cry out. You came twice already, both times you jumped out of your skin. But you were greedy for another one. Rewarding him with moans every time he made you feel good.

You couldn’t contain them. He made out with your pussy. Licking before suckling your pussy with his juicy lips. You moaned, grabbing his head and pushing him deeper. He brought his fingers up to finger you again, spearing you with his thick digits.

“Oh, Kev–” you moaned. “Kev!”

“Say my name again,” he moaned against your pussy.

“Kevin!” You obliged, thighs tingling. You tensed, eyes rolling to the back of your head. This orgasm was another intense one. Robbing you of breath and sight. You lost control of your body as you spasmed on his tongue. Kevin moaned while he sucked up your essence.

He stood up, and pulled his fingers from your pussy. He sucked on his fingers and moaned, winking at you. He pulled off his tank and then his briefs went next. His gold chain glinted in the low light. He gathered up some of your slick, rubbing the length of his humongous dick with it.

He was easily the biggest you’d ever taken. Long and thick, he had been hiding an entire monster all night.

“I’m clean,” he groaned, yanking on his meat. You whimpered, following the motion.

“I am too. I’m on birth control,” you said. It was your turn to wink at him.

“Let me fill that pussy up then,” he said, groaning as his hand moved quicker. He stopped long enough to gather more, playing with your pussy before leaning back to rub the tip of his dick.

“Fill me up, Kev,” you begged and laid down.

He gripped your legs and pushed them over his elbows. He hauled you closer and you yelped. Being manhandled sent a shiver down your spine. He spread your legs wider and then guided himself to your entrance.

You pushed your hand against his chest as he began to breach. He was so big. If it hadn’t been for the foreplay, this would hurt even more. He chuckled. “You can take me,” he promised.

He pushed against your hand and feeble attempt to slow him down. You hissed as he pushed inside slowly, pulling out and then pushing back in. You grew wetter around him and he groaned as it became easier for him to stroke.

He began to move his hips, rolling into the stroke and you hissed with more pleasure. He filled you up completely, taking him just like he said you would.

Your teeth chattered as you stared into his eyes, a look of sweet pain on your face, you were sure. You began to whimper, a growing storm deep inside. “I know, I know,” he cooed, continuing to stroke that long dick of his.

You cried out, his dick hitting your sweet spot. His mushroom head glided against your inner walls and you scrambled for something to hold onto. Your hands found his forearms.

“Kev–” you cried, not enough breath to form his full name. He leaned down and kissed you on the forehead.

“Be good for me and cum on this dick,” he commanded.

You bounced on his dick, wetter by the second. He groaned as you slid easily on his dick. “Cum on this dick, cum on this dick,” he chanted over and over, his harsh breath fanning across your heated, sweaty skin.

“I’m–, oh fuck I’m–” You groaned, throwing your head back while you came. You squeezed the hell out of his dick, holding on for dear life.

Kevin groaned on top of you, his strokes having to slow down while you came. “Fuck, pussy feel even better,” he said. He kissed your forehead again and panted.

He was still stroking, getting stronger with each slide. “One more,” he pleaded.

Fuck! You couldn’t! It’d been a while since someone tore your ass up. Your solo adventures never quite getting you there that many times. However, underneath Kevin, you felt another stirring. This one was quick. You felt it coming and yet you felt like it’d snuck up on you.

You convulsed on his dick with loud, whimpering cries. Broken and estranged sounds escaping you.

Kevin moaned, dropping his sweaty head to your chest. His lips found your nipples and he sucked on them, alternating every so often until they were hard little buds. He kissed along your neck and shoulder, stroking deeper at the closer contact.

You moaned, nails digging into his back. He moaned in your ear while his strokes increased. As if he had been holding himself back earlier and now he could let loose. Now his strokes could turn sloppy and desperate.

“Finna nut,” he moaned.

“Nut in me, Kev. Please, please,” you begged.

“Beg for this nut,” Kevin hissed, pressing his lips to yours. When he pulled back, you sniffled.

“Please Kev. Please nut in me,” you begged.

Kevin groaned, leaning up slightly and climaxing. Hot pulses of cum filled you and your body jerked, feeling the warm length of him inside you. Kevin pushed his hips in like he was trying to keep his cum inside. Let it soak deep into your pussy.

Kevin’s lips found yours in a sloppy, messy pattern and you licked at his lips, completely spent. He grinned and finally pulled out of you. You moaned as his cum slipped out too. Kevin lowered your legs, pushing them open so he could watch himself drip out.

Satisfied, he gave you a final kiss on the forehead. You sighed, settling into his bed like you were settling against a cloud. He returned from the bathroom with a warm washcloth and cleaned you off. He put it back into his bathroom and then he crawled into bed, turning off the lights beside him.

He was warm, impossibly so. Like a furnace all by his lonesome. You turned onto your side and he snuggled against your backside. “That was incredible, thank you,” he said. He kissed your cheek.

“I should be thanking you,” you said, with a small chuckle.

He began to nibble on your ear. “Stay tonight. So I can wake you up to my fingers between your legs,” he whispered in your ear.

“I can’t say no to that,” you said. You didn’t know the proper etiquette for a one night stand. Were you supposed to dip? Were you supposed to stay? One night stand implied that you weren’t going to see him ever again.

But you wanted to keep seeing him. You wanted to experience this over and over again. The way he established control but still gave you plenty of chances to back out. You didn’t have to make major decisions and didn’t have to worry about anything but receiving pleasure. You were thoroughly hooked and needed far more than that.

“Maybe I should feed you some dick. See how well your mouth takes it. If it’ll be anything like your pussy,” he said.

Your pussy clenched with his filthy words. Somehow lulling you to sleep. You were incredibly warm. He pulled the covers over you, trapping you with all his heat.

“So many things I wanna do. Maybe I should tie your hands behind your back and face fuck you until I cum all over that gorgeous face,” he said.

You moaned softly, tiny gasps that filled the quiet space. “Please,” you whispered. You didn’t know what you were begging for. A break? You had so many orgasms tonight, you lost count. More? You couldn’t survive another one at the moment, but fuck it. If you passed out, then you just passed out.

He chuckled and kissed your cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said.

“Yes, sir,” you said. You fell asleep with a goofy grin on your face.

Need more Kev in your life? The Secret Kevin Atwater Files | Part 2

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sozila · 6 months ago

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convalescence. (sukuna x reader)

synopsis: convalescence noun. time spent recovering from an illness or medical treatment; recuperation. ryomen s. itadori was a disease that infected every part of your life, and you didn’t notice until it was too late.

pairing: best friend's older brother!ryomen s. itadori x pre-med uni student!fem reader.

warnings: explicit content eventually, mdni. mentions of underage drinking, descriptive sexual activities. masterlist | previous | next

you are on: incubation. (part one) a/n:

hello!! my name is sozila, and this is my first ever work on tumblr/ao3 so bear with me if my writing seems a little elementary :,) let me know what you think, esp if it's constructive feedback! i've been a huge fic reader since i was 11, if that's any solace <3 (i'm in my second year of college now lmao) this piece really just came to me because i craved older brother sukuna and breezed through every fic with him in it. also, i wanted to incorporate parts of my college experience and hence the allegory to infectious diseases, i promise i'll hash it out adequately soon haha <3 also to note: i'm aware this chapter is rather short, but i intend to make longer chapters as the story continues! until then, here's a little bit of what i have :) enjoy!

ao3 link here.

incubation. (part one) you were 2 years into being best friends with yuuji itadori before you saw him. an idea of him was created in your head through a web of yuuji’s descriptions, megumi’s mild irritations. nobara’s hot-cold opinion that “he’s an insufferable asshole, but those tattoos do numbers on girls”. some part of you felt allured by the mystery of his identity, even though you knew exactly who he was. at least, as much as you could from the near-empty instagram account and pictures from yuuji’s childhood littering the apartment.

it was odd you didn’t meet until now, but university had other plans for you. it made sense though— as a pre-med student, you didn’t have much time to hang out or go to frat parties, as much as nobara complained about your lack of thrill for wilding out. you digressed, but promised as soon as you secured an internship you’d maybe allow a bottle of vodka on you, in the comfort of your shared apartment. yuuji and megumi never held your busy schedule against you; which you genuinely appreciated. you loved that whenever you did get to see them, things picked up right where you left off.

which is why you were surprised at the very least to be met with someone you knew yet were so unfamiliar with standing before you when you knocked on yuuji’s door.

“you one of yuu’s new leeches or what?”

your brows furrowed a little more at the jab on your character, but you utter nothing as you take in the fact ryomen itadori isn’t a mythical brother your best friend made up. he looks exactly like the lockscreen picture on yuuji’s phone, save for a couple new tattoos on his face and arms. his hair was a mix between a mean undercut and ivy league, sporting the same pink hue of his younger brother’s. a simple silver chain hung on his neck which drew you downwards to his chest. he was definitely built much bigger and wider than yuuji. coarse, and just.. raw. you register you’ve been staring at this man clad only in a wife pleaser and joggers for an inappropriately long time and clear your throat, straightening, holding your bag a little closer as if it was going to disappear with a glance of his sanguine eyes.

“you gonna stand there all day, or should i close the door on ya?”

his gruff voice now laced with irritation led you to match his demeanor. you give him a wry, plastered smile and push past him. he lets you, surprisingly.

“can’t really go in with you blocking the entire entryway, asshole.”

he doesn’t acknowledge the blatant insult and walks towards the kitchen. your nose catches it first- he was cooking something really good. suddenly, he yells over his shoulder while he stirs the pot.

“yuuji c’mon, i’m not babysitting for your ass!”

the thomp-thomp-thomps of yuuji’s footsteps follow with him hurrying down the stairs and he flashes a dorky smile to you. “sorry, sorry! you met my lovely best friend then, aniki?”

he grunts without turning around. you didn’t even consider this a conservation, but yuuji seemed unphased by his wet-blanket personality. guess older brotherhood looked like this. yuuji flits around the stove where he’s working to stick a finger in the pot and steal a taste, which sukuna smacked him upside the head for.

rubbing the back of head, yuuji then turns and faces you to give your arms a little squeeze. “megs is running a little late from swim team practice, but he’ll be here soon. ryo made dinner for us though!” he quips brightly.

with a whip of his head and a withering look, you deduced sukuna wasn’t aware of this information, but grumbled to himself. you made out a “motherfucker” and “freeloader” in his long curse.

you pull your happy-go-lucky friend a little out of earshot and bring him to your level to whisper harshly. “yuu, i don’t want to inconvenience your brother.. he already seems pissed i exist,” you murmur. your gaze returns to the giant man in the kitchen and something tickles in your chest. immediately he slaps your shoulder and chortles, as if you told him something outlandish. “don’t even worry! he acts like that all the time, he just doesn’t know you well enough yet.”

you weren’t sure you even wanted him to.

it was 7:30 when you heard the ring of the doorbell and your head lifts from the snug placement you took on the couch. sukuna had already slipped away upstairs so yuuji answers this time, much to your dismay. you lament internally that megumi wouldn’t face the same frosty welcome as you did. you hear two voices instead of just the one you expected and crane over to see a certain red headed girl you knew. she beams upon noticing your peeking form. “you’re here early, miss i-have-no-time-for-my-beloved-friends,” quicker than you could react, she was already beelining to jump on you with a smothering hug.

you try to muster a clear response but get muffled by her puffy knit sweatshirt. “if you checked your phone you’d know i told you!” you push your computer out of reach so it wouldn’t be swept in the tornado that was nobara kugisaki.

megumi had already taken a seat on the rug beside yuuji, deep in conversation about winter finals. however, it became evident it was more megumi lecturing yuuji on course material and the latter looking more confused and stressed by the second.

you move nobara enough to clap your hands and catch their attention.

“if you guys utter the word ‘exams’ one more time, i swear will explode.”

nobara snorts above you and knocks on your head. “look who’s talking. is your memory shot to hell or do you not remember all the times you bring it up yourself?”

“she literally did this afternoon,” yuuji mumbles with a pout. you throw a decorative pillow at him.

“hey! don’t forget i literally made your study schedule for you. and even the studious want a little break,” you defend with a huff. nobara d’awws and squishes your cheeks. “my poor little baby! however did you survive.”

“you guys suck. i deserve nothing but love and affection.”

yuuji rolls his eyes and whines. “oh my goood, yes we love you and appreciate you, hugs kisses rainbows blah blah— i wanna watch a movie already!”

you giggle at his antics as nobara pushes off you, walking to the unabashedly large TV and starts filing through yuuji’s big movie bookshelf. “what are we feeling tonight? fast and furious, ladybird, jigsaw..”

after a couple minutes you all agree on midsommar, which you protested but lost in a 3 to 1 vote (democracy is a joke). you could never sleep properly after a good horror movie, hence you always watched them during the daytime. but because your friends were evil, namely nobara, you had to endure some at night and ended up sleepless and jumpy. “if you can’t sleep, just slip in with me tonight,” nobara counters with a dismissive wave. while you knew neither nobara nor her girlfriend, maki, would bat an eye because of their long friendship with you, you worried for your own well-being. nobara was a huge kicker in her sleep (she denies this profusely). too many times after a night out you’d wake up on the floor with bruises on your side while nobara dozed peacefully, starfish-ed on the bed. you sigh and accept your fate.

the movie ends up being just as if not more unsettling than you expected. you knew nobara clocked out much earlier than you thought when you heard no reaction to the bear scene (never getting that image out of your brain, you fear). you stretch your neck to assess who’s out. beyond the dirty plates on the coffee table from the dinner sukuna “made” for you all, you can make out yuuji cradled into megumi’s chest, snoring lightly. the urchin haired boy didn’t stir much either, so you peel from nobara’s vice-like grip on you to throw a blanket over the two of them. out of the corner of your eye, you see yuuji cuddle into megumi a little more, a small smile on his dozing face. god, you eagerly await the day they could be honest about their feelings. you step back around quietly to adjust nobara on the couch into a more comfortable position.

to navigate out with a better light you fish your jeans for your phone but to your dismay, are met with empty pockets. it didn’t help that your nerves on high alert and the living room was lit only by the glow from the tv. something straight out of a horror movie. genuinely fuck my life. you frown as you crouch down to feel around underneath the couch. after a few minutes of helpless padding later, the task seemed fruitless and you began to retreat to yuuji’s room. nothing could prepare you to feel a big, cold hand palm your shoulder. you freeze, your spine going icy. is this how i’m going to die? swiveling faster than your mind could compute you almost let out a bloodcurdling shriek, only to be met with the same cold hand pressing your mouth shut.

“are you fuckin’ mental?”

sanguine eyes bore back into yours and you fight the urge to bite the hand pressing on you. the audacity of this guy was baffling, really.

you shove him off and glare pointedly.

“me? i’m mental? says the dick who decided to sneak up on someone and grab them like a fucking serial killer!”

you jab a finger on his chest, seething in a whisper. his chest, in reality, was much harder than you anticipated and your finger probably hurt more than the attack on him.

a step. he’s closer to you and now in possession of said finger.

“i lightly tapped you. the rest was damage control, sweetheart.”

“sweetheart?”

“i can’t call you that?”

“how about you don’t call me anything, ever? thanks.”

“makes sense that i can’t call you. got your phone, and all.”

your mouth drops a little. “what?” he snickers. “if you weren’t so busy trying to curse me into the next domain, you’d realize i’ve had your phone in my hand this whole time. fuckin’ idiot.”

lo and behold, your phone was nestled in his raised hand, looking much smaller than you remembered. or was it that his hand was just that large in comparison? how big was this guy, really? part of you wanted to stop everything and just ask him to hold different objects and compare how they perceived in his grasp. but reality struck and you recall this is the same guy who just scared the living daylights out of you.

you yank it out of his stupid mammoth hand, ripping his grasp on you in the process and take a step back. you were awfully close to one another upon closer inspection.

“not an idiot, by the way. 4.0 gpa doesn’t exactly scream stupid.”

“idiocy applies to everyone, sweetheart. regardless of how much you dick ride your textbooks.”

every word that left his mouth had a lilt to it. the laughter in his eyes, his head cocked to the side.. he was messing with you and relished it. that pissed you off. who the fuck was he to decide who you were? what you stood for? you had barely known this imaginary-but-actually-real brother for a couple hours, and here he was insulting and teasing you all in one gift-wrapped present. what gave him the confidence to be so insufferable? and better yet, what could you do to stomp it out?

“go to hell, sukuna.”

you were unwilling to stay in his irritating presence for a moment more. your face was stony and unrelenting, your foot tapping incessantly in impatience. you wanted to slap his face off, but thankfully for him, your best friends were in dreamland just a few feet away.

“goodnight, idiot.”

your feet padded angrily up the stairs and you could still feel those dark sanguine eyes boring into your skull and all over your body. you decided that imaginary or not, yuuji itadori's older brother was the most pompous asshole you've ever had the displeasure of meeting. you didn’t get hit with your skin radiating heat until you closed the door of yuujii’s bedroom behind you. question is, was it anger or arousal?

... she never told me her name.

omg light banter... guys i really love slowburn so sexy time isn't guaranteed soon :( once i've outlined it i'll add specific explicit warnings and maybe you'll get a glimpse of what i envision for you and sukuna aaaaa :) for tumblr, i'll have a navi/masterlist up in a little!

peace luv bathtub!!!

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naughtyneganjdm · 16 days ago

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Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 18

Summary: When his laptop starts giving him shit, Joel asks for Y/N's help to fix it which leads to her snooping on it against her better judgement. Wanting to be a better man, Joel goes to Negan to apologize and be more open with him which leads to Joel accepting to be the man he was never allowed to be.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/157394716 Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, Smut, m/m sex scene, bottom!Joel, Top!Negan, etc.

Notes: My schedule is all fucked up with this story and I'm sorry for that! I obviously won't finish it before Christmas, but I will do my best. This chapter has a m/m sex scene in it. So, putting that out there! You can choose to ignore it if you like. Thanks for reading!

Even though she enjoyed having the time to spend with those that she cared about, there were certain days where Y/N regretted taking as much vacation time as she did from work. Having a busy mind would help her get through the days that she was alone, but since she never took any time off during the year, this was more of a forced time off. Regardless, she had still logged into work today to see if there was anything she could help with. Considering she was all alone today, she didn’t think it would be much of a problem. Joel had a meeting with a potential client, Negan had something to do and the children were with their friends.

Earlier in the day, Joel had come to her in a panic before his meeting because his computer had frozen on him. Joel was convinced it had something to do with the e-mails that he received after he went viral with Negan in New York. Part of him worried that someone had sent him a virus of some kind because they hated Negan. And while that was a possibility, she was certain that Joel’s computer was just giving him shit. It was older. While things were still ill at ease between them with what happened, Joel had stressed to her how worried he was because he had all of his important files and contacts saved on there. Along with photos and videos of the children. He was afraid of losing them, so she offered to help him.

Joel was never really good with technology and she worked on computers all the time, so she really didn’t see it as a big deal. When things went wrong with work at home, she was the only person for the most part that could be IT and fix things herself. So while she was working on something for work, she had been running a system restore point for Joel. And she had also promised to get him a portable hard drive to help him put all of his files onto it so he didn’t lose them.

While she wanted to be mad at Joel, she couldn’t be. Even if she wanted to. Multiple times he texted her and she’d respond. Today was just the first day that they spoke face to face. And while he had a meeting that he had to go to, it didn’t stop Joel from attempting to talk to her about everything. Apologizing multiple times for what he had done the other night at the Christmas Fest when he was drunk. The amount of times he apologized was quite extensive. It was all he could really focus on. How sorry he was. It seemed to really upset him what he had done. He had stressed to her multiple times how much he loved her. How he wanted to do everything right and make her happy. How he wanted to be a better version of himself. Several times he promised her that he wanted them to be close and work on their relationship together.

When his phone went off with Tommy asking him where he was, Joel had to run off. And she promised him by the time that he got back she would have everything handled with his computer. By the time she was done with what she needed to do for work, she returned to Joel’s laptop and it seemed like the system restore point had worked.

From all their years together, she knew Joel’s password was Peter’s name and Elizabeth’s birthday in numerical form. Making sure that the computer was working, she logged into it and was happy to see that it was opening normally. As everything loaded, she realized the folder that he had open was family videos. A video was already open and curiosity got the best of her. Hitting the play button made her smile when she realized that it was a family video from Christmas time of them together.

A sense of awe flooded her veins over the fact that was the last video that Joel was watching before his computer decided to give him shit. Closing up the video, she grabbed the portable hard drive and started to copy some of his family videos onto it so he wouldn’t lose them. Actually, it was pretty cute how many family videos he did have on his computer. Ranging as far back as Elizabeth being a baby. She could see why these were so important to Joel.

While that folder was copying, she went back to his overall videos folder. Joel wasn’t very good with naming things. He was the complete opposite of her. Also opening his photos folder, she felt her throat tighten seeing that some of the first few photos she noticed were Joel and Tess together. They had broken up a while ago, yet Joel still had photos of them together on his computer. Then again, she knew Joel was messy with how he kept things. Dragging his photos folder onto the hard drive, she dropped that down and then went back to looking at his video folder. Clicking on a random folder, she opened a video that was inside of it and let out a tense breath when she realized what it was.

A nervous sound escaped her lips with her looking over her shoulder to make sure that she had turned her computer off so there was no way that her camera was on. When she made sure it was off, she let out a relieved sound and looked to Joel’s laptop again. Stretched out on the bed in the video was a younger version of herself very much naked laying on their bed. It immediately clicked with her that this was one of their personal, naughty videos that they had done together that Joel had assured her that he would delete.

Maybe she should have stopped, but she was watching the video with her heart hammering inside of her chest. A much younger Joel walked into the screen wearing only a pair of light-colored jeans. In the past, Joel was always very much turned on by taking videos of them having sex. It was a kink of his and she was starting to realize that he hadn’t gotten over it. In the video Joel was going down on her with her cries filling the air. Watching closely, she felt her body tensing up when Joel shed his pants and she realized this was one of their romantic sexual moments. While she got the appeal of the videos, considering they had children that were smart, Y/N didn’t know how safe it was to keep these.

Closing that video and opening another, she felt her face flushing over with heat when she realized it was a video of her giving a blowjob to Joel from his perspective. Quickly closing the video, she felt her face getting hot that he kept all of these. Opening another one, she saw Joel laying over her with her face down on the bed. Joel was setting the camera up on the nightstand before returning to her. When he had the camera the way he wanted, the younger version of Joel smiled and crawled back in over her. His hand curled around her throat pulling her head back while his other hand reached between them to lead his hard cock into her. A loud smacking sound filled the air with Joel filling her and she felt her body getting hot at what she was watching. Unlike the first one, this was pure filth in terms of the kind of sex that they were having.

Honestly? She probably should have stopped there, but she didn’t. Opening video after video of the things that Joel had kept between them. Stopping on one, she realized it was one that was toward the end of the part of their marriage before Joel started to grow cold with her. The video was better probably because Joel was so used to doing the videos. You saw everything in this video. Which mortified her. What if one of the children went on his computer and saw this?

“Look at me,” Joel demanded, his fingers grabbing a tight hold of Y/N’s jaw in the video while their loud, broken breaths continued. The smacking sounds of their skin filled the video while Joel kissed her. Joel’s forehead pressed to hers with a big smile expanding over his features. “I love you.”

There were two thoughts going on in her mind right now. Panic if the children had ever seen this and the other was her wondering what it was that made Joel fall out of love with her not long after. Because in this video? The way that Joel looked at her took her breath away. He was obsessed with her back then. Hooked on her and always wanting to touch her, kiss her and be with her.

“You need to stop,” she huffed to herself, scrolling through the same folder. Truthfully? There were so many videos that they took together that she couldn’t believe she even allowed him to do it in the first place. It was a vast array of things that they had done since they were together. Yes, some of them did get her hot and bothered, but she didn’t know if it was a bad or a good thing that it did.

Part of her was worried that going through the videos she would find something of him and Tess together. But the more she scrolled, the more she began to realize that there was nothing. Which was strange because that was one of Joel’s biggest kinks when they were together. Deep down she had mentally prepared herself to see videos that Joel had done with Tess, yet there were none.

Confusion flooded her veins with just how happy she felt to know that he didn’t have any. Why she felt that way was beyond her. And she was embarrassed to admit that it did make her so fucking happy.

Sliding in closer, she narrowed her eyes and focused on the images realizing the date on one of the videos was toward the end of their marriage. In the thumbnail all she saw that it was Joel and she opened the video up.

“I reckon you’ve been lonely lately and I thought that maybe this would help you,” Joel’s southern drawl filled the air and it had her leaning back into the chair.

This was a new one for her, one she had never seen before. But it was certainly when she was still married to Joel because he had his wedding ring on. Sitting forward in the chair he was in, Joel tugged at the blue t-shirt that he was wearing. Tossing it aside, Joel leaned forward in the chair dragging his fingers across his chiseled jawline. A laugh fell from her throat when Joel flexed his bicep in the video drawing attention to his muscular form. Standing up, Joel stepped back so the camera got just to the top of his head and to his mid thighs. Back then, Joel was in a little better of a shape than he was now with v-line leading toward the top of his pants. Maybe this was something that he made for her in the past but never sent her because they had gotten in a fight. Back then, Joel was a little more arrogant with his body. She definitely remembered those days with Joel palming up over his chiseled abdomen toward his chest. Caressing at it, Joel lowered his hands and dropped them over the belt that he was wearing. This was his way of being seductive and it made her laugh again the way he dragged his fingers across the belt. Tugging it open, Joel took his time opening his jeans and slightly tugging it down over his hips. In the movement, he took his boxer down with it revealing the dark curls of hair right above the base of his cock in a teasing moment.

Turning around in the video, Joel pushed his pants down over his ass to reveal it. Maybe she was wrong for watching it, but since she was married to him at the time, she really didn’t see what the big deal was. Through the video, Joel focused on flexing a little bit before turning to face the camera again. By the time he pushed his pants down fully, his cock bounced with the movement and it made her sigh. Joel jerked off standing up for a bit in the video before adjusting the camera so he could sit back down in the chair and continue.

Back then, she was completely head over heels for him. Back then? Who the fuck was she kidding? She was always going to be head over heels for Joel. So watching these videos was wrong on her part especially since she knew that they would have some kind of effect on her. Really she should have been more mortified than she was that he kept these videos.

At the end, cum was covering Joel’s chest and abdomen with an arrogant smile tugging at his lips. Joel reached for a tissue and cleaned himself up before sliding in closer to the camera to flash a sheepish smile, “I hope you enjoyed that Lucille, it’ll give you something to keep you hot while Negan is gone.”

Suddenly, she leaned forward to stop the video after hearing that bit, “What the fuck?”

Realizing that Joel had his e-mails open and his phone messaging was connected to the computer, Y/N felt a sense of rage flooding her veins. Opening the e-mails, she realized that Lucille’s e-mails were already loaded in the search bar. Snooping was beneath her, but she felt overwhelmed seeing what she just did. Going through the emails, most of them were them just talking. In some of them, he talked very highly about Y/N, but in others he said really awful things about her to Lucille. It seemed like two miserable people in marriages where they needed a friend to talk to. But she did eventually find e-mails of them flirting with one another. What seemed like was originally innocent, turned to e-mails with occasional sexting. But eventually it seemed like things stopped.

If he was doing this with Lucille…suddenly Y/N’s heart sank. Typing in Tess’s name, she found the e-mails that Joel had with her realizing that his e-mails with her were also very sexual during their separation. Upset flooded her body and she knew that it was wrong, but she dived deeper into things opening up Joel’s text messages that were connected to Joel’s phone.

Opening up his messages with Tess, she acknowledged that the last time that Joel wrote her was months ago.

Can we talk please?

That came from Joel after they broke up. Part of her wondered if it wasn’t a mutual thing with them breaking up.

Scrolling through a few things, the last message she saw came from Tess.

Goodbye Joel. You’re still hooked on your ex-wife. Nothing you can say can change my mind. You’re always talking about her. Comparing me to her. Your heart knows what you want. So does mine. I can see why your marriage ended with Y/N if you were as cold with her as you were me.

Pushing away from the table that Joel’s laptop was on, she didn’t know how to respond to everything that she had seen. Tensing up, the sound of the door opening was heard and she looked back over her shoulder to see that it was Joel entering the house with a big bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bag of take out in the other.

“I know you wanted me to ditch the keys, but this was a good day with work,” Joel started to ramble, closing the door with his heel. “I figured I would get us something to celebrate and hoped we could talk. I picked up the Chinese food that you like and…”

Joel’s smile faded when he saw the expression that was over her face and he let out a nervous breath, “What’s wrong?”

Noticing that the laptop was on, Joel nodded toward it and tipped his head to the side, “Did you figure out everything with the computer?”

“I did,” she answered, folding her arms out in front of her chest. Lowering the flowers at his side, Joel was attempting to read her expression. “I started putting your files onto a separate hard drive so you didn’t lose them.”

“Thank you,” Joel muttered, his head shaking from side to side. “Why are you looking at me like that? I know that expression all too well. It’s been quite some years since I’ve seen it.”

“You left a lot of shit open Joel,” she explained with him setting the flowers and the food down on the coffee table that was in front of the couch. “And maybe I got to snooping. First of all, I thought you promised me when we were together that you would delete all of our sex videos. Yet, I found them. Very easily in your videos folder.”

“Oh,” Joel’s face went red, his chocolate-colored eyes lowering down to the floor. “I just, I uh, I liked those so much that I had a hard time letting them go. I’ve actually watched a few of them lately when I was alone because…”

“Our children aren’t stupid. What if they found the videos Joel?” she snapped at him and it had Joel exhaling loudly. “Joel?”

“They know better than to go snooping on my computer Y/N. It’s my work computer. They both have access to their own computers. They wouldn’t have found it,” Joel assured her, but she wasn’t sure that was the case. It was so easy to get a hold of that anyone could have found the videos. “I never shared them anywhere else. They are just on my computer and…”

“How about you jerking off for Lucille?” Y/N snarled and the expression Joel made looked like he had been hit in the gut with her mentioning that. “While we were married none the less.”

“I…that was…” Joel’s stuttered, his voice growing deeper when he was trying to respond to her with something he could say. “I didn’t…it was…”

“You can’t lie Joel. I did the wrong fucking thing and went through your e-mails,” she was honest with Joel who moved over toward the edge of the couch to sit down on the arm of it. Slouching forward, Joel looked like he was going to be sick. “The two of you were pretty much having an affair.”

“No, no,” Joel was quick to deny her claim, throwing her hands up in the air. “I never had sex with Lucille. Ever. We just talked sometimes and that was it.”

“You sent her a video of you masturbating Joel. I read the e-mails of you two sexting each other,” she threw her hand back toward the computer knowing that she was getting worked up over everything that she found. “We were married and you were still doing that shit. Yet you swore up and down that you never cheated on me!”

“I didn’t!” Joel defended himself, his chest aching with being caught for something he did over four years ago. “I never, ever had sex with anyone while we were married. I fucking swear. All that stuff on the internet was innocent. I never acted on it. Yeah, I sent some photos or some videos, but I swear I never had sex with anyone. You can’t think I did that because…”

“What does it matter if you didn’t fuck anyone while we were married?” she screamed back at Joel noticing the color that was pressing over Joel’s cheeks. “You got divorced so you could. You were desperate to get your dick wet by someone else and you did. And that’s why you divorced me. Now you have and you realized no one is going to put up with you like I did. No one is going to…” she paused, a saddened sound falling from her throat. Lowering her head, she felt her breathing broken and she shook her head. “No one is going to love you like I do.”

“Now that’s not fair,” Joel claimed, throwing his hand up in the air, his face scrunching up at her anger toward him. “I did some fucked up things toward the end of our marriage, but this was four years ago. I’m not the same man.”

“I know, but I just learned this Joel,” she let out something that resembled a sob and she lowered her head hating that she was getting emotional over her breaking into someone else’s private files. “I read the things you said about me to Lucille. You really did hate me.”

“I was very confused back then, but I never hated you,” Joel claimed, his raspy voice growing nervous since he was hoping to work on their relationship, yet she was doing nothing but learning about the worst parts of him from so long ago. “Please, don’t judge me for what I did back then. I know that what I did was wrong, but you have to realize that we were kids when we got together. Your teens and your twenties are when you are supposed to go nuts. Try things. Instead, I was busy being a dad. I only had sex with a few people before we got together and I thought I was missing out on things. I just…”

“You were my first Joel and I was never with anyone else,” she interrupted him, tears burning at her eyes having Joel trying to excuse what he had done. “Yet you didn’t see me desperate to go and fuck other people because I wanted to experience life.”

“You’re right. I was wrong and I see that now,” Joel agreed with her desperate to have her understand that he wasn’t like that anymore. “I know what I did was wrong. So wrong. But please understand that I’m not that man anymore. Other than Negan, the only person that I’ve been around or even interacted with is you. I don’t have that urge anymore. I had chances to sleep with other people, but I won’t take it because I want to be with you. And…Negan. I want us to work out something with the three of us.”

“I know you’re not that person Joel,” she alerted him having Joel get anxious about the way she was responding to all of this. “But what you were doing with Tess and Lucille was cheating.”

“By sending photos and videos?” Joel visibly didn’t believe that was cheating. “When we were married I never touched another woman. And I didn’t send anything to Tess until after we were separated. I didn’t cheat on you.”

“But you wanted to,” she focused on the idea of it finding herself heart broken once more by everything that she read and saw. “I think Negan would kill you if he read what I did. If he saw what I saw.”

“I agree,” Joel acknowledged with a disappointed breath. “I was stupid Y/N. What I did was wrong. But I see that now. I stopped talking to Lucille after you and I got divorced. I regret it because she was the one real friend I probably had. Those things...those things you saw were just a small part of us being bored. Did you see her last e-mail? Because that’s what our friendship was really like. We didn’t want to fuck or have sex. We were just two friends that understood each other and what the other was feeling. But then the last e-mail she wrote me, it said everything.”

“Joel, I don’t…” she was going to refuse him, but Joel got up and moved around her to open up the last video that Lucille sent him. Forcing her to watch it by turning her chair to look at the laptop. Instead of fighting Joel like she wanted to, she watched the video and he could tell that it was making her emotional. When it ended, Joel sat on the edge of the table in front of her.

“We really were just friends. You see she loved Negan and she knew I loved you,” Joel insisted going to reach out to touch her, but he reconsidered it with how upset she had been over finding everything and instead lowered his hand down at his side. “I feel horrible. I feel this terrible sense of guilt because I abandoned her and I was the one person she had been open to throughout everything. I knew that she had cancer and I never responded to that e-mail Y/N. I didn’t even see it until the other night. I dropped the ball on everything. I was an asshole and I hate the person that I became. I loved you, I hurt you and I hurt one of my only real friends.”

“I don’t even know what to say right now Joel,” she confessed to him being disappointed with the things that she learned. “You always played yourself like you were a certain kind of person and you weren’t. Back then I was so head over heels in love with you and you meant everything to me. I made you so miserable and…”

“I want to go to therapy,” Joel announced, caressing his hands in over his thighs getting her to lift her saddened eyes to his. “I want to be better for you, I want to be a better friend to Negan. I made so many mistakes and I hate it. I want to make things better, be better for all of you.”

“I don’t know,” she frowned lowering her head and he could hear that she was crying. “I need some time Joel.”

“Y/N? I’m not that guy anymore,” Joel threw his hand toward the computer seeing that she had opened his text messages with Tess so she saw their last interaction together. “You can see that you are it for me. That I have been so hooked on you that even Tess saw it. I love you. I love you so fucking much and…”

“I know Joel!” she yelled at him, getting him to lean back and swallow down hard again. “I know all of this. And right now? You should be furious with me for invading your privacy because I was wrong. I was so wrong to do that to you. And I don’t even know why I’m so fucking upset because we’re not married anymore. I’m not your wife. You’re not my husband. So this shouldn’t upset me like it does.”

“It upsets you because you love me,” Joel reasoned with her, outstretching his hands to cup her face in them tenderly. “I love you Y/N. And you love me. We’re soulmates and nothing we do is going to change that. That’s why it hurts so much. The two of us need to talk. I’ve been thinking really hard about the whole idea of the three of us being together and I…”

“Joel,” she laughed, holding her hand up in the air to stop him from continuing on. “That’s the last thing on my mind right now.”

“You don’t want that?” Joel frowned, his chest aching at the thought of her no longer wanting to be around him because of what he caused. “I thought you wanted to be with both of us. I thought you loved me and him…”

“I do,” she whimpered, getting up from the desk chair to move over toward the couch to sit down. “It’s just right now I’m not okay. I just learned that the person that I was married to wasn’t the man he led me to believe that he was and it doesn’t feel good.”

“I’m sorry,” Joel moved forward to get on his knees before her, giving her a pleading expression when her eyes finally connected with him. “Please understand that I hate the man that I was. I hate the man that I’ve been…but I know what I am now. I know how I feel about things. And I love you more than anything in this world. Other than our children of course. There is something I need to talk to you about from when I was younger. I haven’t told anyone about it and I only just told Tommy, but I think if you let me talk to you about it, you’ll understand some things about me and why I am so broken. Why…”

“I need time Joel,” she restated with a frown, lowering her head into her hand and it had her letting out a tremoring breath. “I just need to think about things, okay?”

“Y/N, please? Let us just talk things out,” Joel begged of her again, his hands grabbing a tender hold of hers. “If there is one thing I’ve realized lately it is how much I truly, genuinely love you. How my world only feels complete when you’re in it. Nothing means anything to me when I don’t have you by my side. I could have all my dreams come true from when I was a kid, but it wouldn’t matter if you weren’t there with me because I’m miserable without you. I’m sorry it took what it did for me to realize just how much you really meant to me.”

Dipping forward, Joel attempted to kiss her, but she was quick to place her hand in over the center of his chest to stop him, “I love you too Joel. And I appreciate the things that you are saying, but right now, I need some time to myself. I promise you I won’t snoop any further on your computer. I’ll let everything run and when it’s done I will make sure everything is safe. Your computer will be ready for tomorrow. Okay?”

“Y/N?” he whispered her name again wishing it wasn’t going down like this. “You’re more important than my computer. You understand that, right? It could be broken for all I fucking care because you mean more to me than anything on that computer.”

“Joel, I love you,” she claimed, her hand outstretching to caress down over the side of his face. “And you’re right. I do have to acknowledge that you aren’t the man you used to be. And I think it’s brave that you want to get help. If I’m willing to accept that Negan is a different man than he used to be, I have to be willing to accept that you are too. And I see that you are. I’m not kicking you out of my life. I want to talk to you. I want us to talk. And I’m not saying no to things, I’m just saying right now I need time to think. I can’t remember the last time I got to be alone and just think things out. And I need that.”

“I was really hoping the two of us could have dinner together and we could talk. About us and maybe our future?” Joel reasoned with her having her frown and bite down on her bottom lip. “Trust me when I tell you that being alone is the worst thing to be when you are upset because you think the worst things. Alone you are going to think negative things about my feelings for you, but I need you to know that I am a very fucked up person. I am very confused about all the emotions and the feelings that I have had. But the only thing I’m one hundred percent sure of is that you are the purest thing I’ve ever had in my life. My feelings for you? How much you mean to me. That’s the only thing I understand. How much I love you. I fight this war in my head of whether or not I’m good enough for you and the simple answer is that I’m not. I’m not good enough for you. But you are the only person that makes me want to do better. You are the only person that I want to be the best version of myself for. There are parts of me that I have hidden my whole life, things I’m not comfortable with, but I’m open to letting them shine through if I have you in my life. You are the realest thing I’ve ever known in my life. Even when nothing makes sense, the only thing that does make sense to me is you. And I know I’m just talking a whole lot right now and I reckon I’m upsetting you, but I know that the good parts of me? The parts worth keepin’? They are there because of you. I need you to know that. I can’t have you thinking otherwise. You can’t keep hurting yourself and thinkin’ things that aren’t true. I’ll give you what you want and I’ll leave. But please don’t keep beating yourself up because I can’t leave knowing that’s what you’re going to do.”

“Joel,” she slid forward on the couch, her fingers brushing into his dark hair. With a weak smirk, she leaned in to bring their lips together in a faint kiss that took his breath away when she pulled slightly back. “I hear everything you’re saying. I do.”

“Okay,” Joel frowned, his thumb dragging out across her bottom lip with sadness flooding into his big brown eyes. “Just promise me you won’t hurt yourself with your thoughts. Because I’m the biggest culprit in doing that and it does nothing good.”

“I promise we can talk about whatever it is you want to talk about,” she almost naturally kissed at the pad of his thumb having Joel suck in a sharp breath of air. “I just need some alone time right now.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel whispered, lifting up enough to press a lingering kiss against her face. Caressing at the back of her neck, Joel tipped back slightly to gaze down at her. Pressing one final tender kiss over her lips, Joel got up and pointed over toward the food and flowers. “That’s for you. Whenever you want it you can have it.”

Joel headed for the door, but stopped when he grabbed a hold of the door handle, “You are perfect. You were always perfect. And I did have an amazing life. A life people could only dream of having. The perfect wife. I wish I would have never hurt you like I did because you deserved nothing but love. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to hide anything from you anymore. I will never be that person again. I swear.”

Heading for the door, Joel grabbed a hold of it and stopped when she called out to him, “I understand you want to be honest, but don’t tell Negan what happened between you and Lucille, okay? I don’t think he could handle it.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel swallowed down hard regretting that he let it get to that place so long ago. “Thank you for not wanting me dead.”

A tense exhale fell from Y/N since Joel knew he’d probably die if Negan knew what had happened in the past. Giving Joel a nod, she slid back on the couch and pulled her legs up to her chest to hug them close, “I love you.”

“And I love you,” she replied back taking his breath away when he gave her a half-smirk. “If you ever question that Joel Miller, then you don’t have your head on straight.”

“I question it sometimes,” Joel smirked, lifting up to grasp at his jaw appreciating that he made her smile with his response. Sadness still lingered in her eyes and he knew that he couldn’t fix it right now. He just had to do for her what she asked from him and give her time. That was the best he could do.

----

This was a stupid idea and Joel knew it. Standing in the middle of a snowstorm, waiting for the door to be answered was a far shot. Especially after what he did and said. At this point he had knocked several times and rang the doorbell once.

Clinging to the bag at his side, he started to realize that his nose and ears felt like they were going to freeze off. It was cold and even though he had his jacket on, it wasn’t doing much to keep him warm. One final ring. That’s what Joel told himself. Truthfully? He should have left already, but he didn’t.

When no one came, Joel huffed loudly and felt ashamed of himself. There was some sense of hope that this would go well, but now he was just someone standing out on the porch waiting for someone that was never going to open up to him.

Turning on his heel, Joel stepped down from the porch only to hear the sound of a front door being pulled open. Looking back over his shoulder, Joel felt his throat tightening at the sight of a soaked Negan standing before him in a pair of athletic pants, holding a black t-shirt at his side. Water was dripping from his hair and he looked flustered.

“Before you say anything,” Joel spoke up, approaching Negan while he took his time putting on his t-shirt. Which only made sense since he was standing in the doorway soaking wet during the middle of a snowstorm. “I know you likely don’t want to see me, but…I’m sorry. I was an asshole. A big one.”

Slicking back his hair, Negan leaned against the doorframe and then folded his arms out in front of his chest waiting for whatever it was that Joel was going for. Lifting the bag that was in his hand had Negan’s eyes lowering to look down at it.

“I came with a peace offering,” Joel commented noticing that Negan was still silently eyeing him over now instead of the bag. Sighing loudly, Joel wondered if Y/N had called Negan and told him what happened. Maybe they talked and he learned what an asshole he had been previously. Dropping the bag down at his side, Joel released a disappointed sound and nodded back toward his truck. “I guess I’ll just leave.”

Turning away, Joel heard a whistling sound drawing him to look back again. Wiggling his fingers gesturing for Joel to follow him, Negan stepped back inside of his rental home. Carefully moving back up the sidewalk, Joel headed into the house and closed the door behind him. Negan was already at the fireplace setting a fire to warm the place up.

“I just got home and I was taking a shower,” Negan informed Joel, not even bothering to look back at Joel while he worked on the fireplace. “By how much snow you are covered in, I assume you were out there a long fucking time before you decided to ring the bell.”

Staying quiet, Joel brushed his fingers through his hair realizing that he was in fact covered in snow still. Getting up with a grunt, Negan moved across the room and motioned Joel to turn around. Allowing Negan to take his jacket off, Negan went and set his coat to dry.

“Why don’t you sit by the fire and warm up?” Negan offered, holding his hand out toward the seat that was there, but Joel simply just lifted the bag to suggest that he had something else.

“The offering might melt,” Joel explained having Negan roll his eyes and motion him toward the kitchen. Following Negan into the kitchen, Joel set the bags on the counter. “Did you eat?”

“Not yet,” Negan responded with a huff, leaning against the counter with Joel pulling something out of the bag. Holding one of the cans out to Negan had a confused smile tugging at Negan’s lips. “Canned ravioli?”

“We used to eat it all the time when we were younger,” Joel reminded Negan with Negan reading over the label of the can of food. He didn’t know why, but Joel was nervous. “I remember us eating it all the time growing up.”

“We were poor as fuck,” Negan snorted, clinging tightly to the can of food. Moving over toward the cabinets to grab two bowls for them, Negan set them down on the counter. “It’s been a while since I’ve had these, but sure? Why not?”

“There’s something else,” Joel motioned Negan to wait after he grabbed the can and returned it to the bag. Pulling the next item out of the bag, Joel turned on his heel, holding out the ice cream that he had bought. Accepting the ice cream, Negan looked it over with the lines in his forehead growing. “I know that offering you ice cream in the middle of a snowstorm seems kind of stupid right now, but…”

“This was Lucille’s favorite,” Negan commented, swallowing down hard and lifting his hazel eyes to stare out at Joel. There was an emotion that Joel couldn’t read with Negan staring out at him.

“It was,” Joel exhaled loudly, with Negan’s confusion flooding his face. “I thought maybe we could eat the Chef Boyardee and then afterwards have some ice cream to remember Lucille. Together.”

“Of course you know her favorite ice cream,” Negan frowned, setting the ice cream down on the counter. Grumbling something under his breath, Negan pinched at his nose and shrugged. “The two of you were secret best friends behind our backs after all.”

“I don’t think you would want to call me that,” Joel thought back on his relationship that he shared with Lucille when he was younger. “I wasn’t a very good friend and calling me her best friend would be giving me too much credit.”

“I don’t understand why you two had to hide that you were friends,” Negan commented, frustration visible behind his eyes. A loud gust of wind outside caught both of their attention having them look to the window to see that it was snowing even harder. “I wouldn’t have fucking cared. I would have been fine with it.”

“We were both going through things,” Joel explained, reaching back to brace himself by curling his fingers around the counter. “When one of us needed someone to talk to, we’d talk to each other. Send each other videos, voice messages, e-mails…sometimes she just needed to get things off her mind that she couldn’t talking to someone in her real life and vice versa.”

“I see,” Negan was quiet, his jaw flexing when he looked to the ice cream again. Taking time to think about everything, Negan finally shrugged his shoulders and let out an extended sigh. “We obviously have a lot to talk about.”

“I agree,” Joel breathed out thinking about the things that Y/N had found not much earlier on his computer. Then he thought about the thing that Y/N had asked of him before he left. God, this was stupid, but if he wanted to be a better man…if he wanted to be someone that proved he was changing, he needed to tell Negan what Y/N knew. Because if he didn’t, it would always eat away at Y/N around Negan and probably the same for him. “I have to tell you something.”

“Go for it,” Negan realized that Joel was likely going to be there for a while since this was the worst storm he had seen since arriving in town. There was no way that he was going to let Joel drive home in this storm. Even if it meant having him sleep on the couch.

“I did something bad,” Joel tried thinking about this whole thing. Going back and forth between things, Joel knew it was for the best to go forward with it. “I want to be more like you. I want to be honest with the people that I care about.”

“So now I’m someone you care about?” Negan scoffed, turning back toward Joel. Rolling his eyes, Joel dropped his head and rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Yes. Very much so. Yes,” Joel answered in a whisper, a lump growing at the center of his throat. Licking his lips anxiously, Joel started to realize how cold he actually was right now. Especially with his white t-shirt and his plaid button up being wet. “Which is why I’m doing this.”

Folding his arms out in front of his chest, Negan leaned back against the counter giving Joel his full attention and that truthfully made Joel a hell of a lot more nervous, “When Lucille and I were talking, most of the time it was innocent. We’d talk about our lives, our emotions, our anger…but…” Joel paused considering right now if this was the smartest idea. “There were times when we’d talk a little…heated?”

“Come again?” Negan obviously thought he didn’t hear Joel correctly with Joel clearing his throat. God, this was stupid. And Joel was truthfully preparing for the worst.

“It was originally initiated by me, so don’t think she did it, but we’d sometimes role play a bit. Talk about sex. Things that we’d do to each other if we were together,” Joel stammered fighting the urge to stop talking because he wanted Negan to know what he had done. By Negan’s expression that was not what he was expecting to hear from Joel in the least. “Things on her end were mostly innocent?”

“Mostly?” Negan repeated, his face scrunching up and by that expression? Joel knew Negan was pissed. The color was draining from Joel’s face and he realized he entirely fucked up with going forward with this, but he had to be honest. From this moment on he always swore to do so to be a better man.

“Yeah, mostly. I got an occasional risqué photo. I also did send her photos and videos of my…” Joel paused, his face getting hot when he directed his hands toward the center of his pants. “I’m telling you because Y/N was working on my computer today. She discovered some of those videos and read some of our e-mails. And I’ve decided that I don’t want to hide from people about the asshole that I used to be. I want to have the trait that you have of telling people everything.”

“You sent my wife dick pics?” Negan smirked uncomfortably with Joel nodding his head. There was a silence that filled the house and the only thing that was heard was the loud wind that was outside. “Did the two of you ever fuck?”

“No,” Joel immediately threw his hands up in the air and cleared his throat. “When I was married to Y/N, I never had sex with another person. It was only at the end of our marriage that I talked dirty, I sent some videos of me jerking off sometimes and the occasional nude photo, but I never…”

With a swift move forward, Negan’s fist connected with Joel’s face having him fall to the ground in a thud at the center of Negan’s kitchen. Groaning out, Joel rolled onto his stomach with his hands covering his face. For a skinny guy, Negan sure as hell hit fucking hard. Hitting his hand against the floor, Joel tried to count to himself. Most of the time if someone hit him, he would fight back, but he knew with this hit? He deserved it.

Ten minutes later Joel was sitting on the couch holding a pack of ice on his nose while poking at the bowl of the warmed-up ravioli that was on the coffee table with a fork. Negan was sitting beside him eating his bowl of ravioli and Joel huffed, “Did you have to hit me so hard?”

“It was a one and done,” Negan spoke with a mouthful gazing over at Joel who pulled the ice pack from his nose. Reaching out with his free hand to grab a hold of Joel’s chin, Negan observed Joel’s nose and shrugged his shoulders. “It doesn’t look too bad.”

“Oh, good. I just bled all over your floor for the first five minutes,” Joel sarcastically stammered, resting the bag of ice back over his face.

“You fucking deserved it,” Negan snorted shoving another piece of ravioli into his mouth, looking to the television where he had on a football game. “First, for what you told me. Second, because Y/N hasn’t done it to you. Third cus’ you kept suggesting I’m only doing this to get back at you when you know I was and am very much fucking in love with Y/N. And fourth because I needed to knock you back for last night. My jaw still fucking hurts from your first hit.”

Groaning out, Joel dropped his head back against the couch and adjusted the pack of ice over his face, “So she said she doesn’t want to talk to you, huh?”

“She told me that she needed space and time,” Joel recalled what Y/N had told him before she kicked him out of the house. “I don’t blame her man. She sees what I did as cheating. And in a way, I guess it was.”

“It wasn’t so much cheating as it was having an emotional relationship with other people,” Negan explained, his throat flexing with his next bite of his food. “You were going to someone else to talk to instead of coming to her and you were sharing parts of you that at the time, belonged to her.”

Dropping the ice pack into his lap, Joel scoffed and then reached for the bowl of food that Negan had made for him after he helped him clean up his face, “So you saw my wife’s parts?”

Instead of speaking, Joel looked to Negan and chewed slowly. There was a muscle that twitched in Negan’s jaw and he scoffed, “they were good parts.”

“Your wife was very attractive,” Joel agreed with Negan as he reached out to turn the volume down on the television with the remote that was on the coffee table. “Both of our wives were very attractive.”

“I still think you’re insane,” Negan claimed, finishing off his food waiting for Joel to finish with his. However, Joel was being very slow with eating since Negan assumed it hurt for him to eat. The look that Joel gave him was that of someone who wasn’t surprised but was waiting for the why. “Y/N is perfect, I don’t know how you could have left her for Tess. Not that Tess isn’t attractive, but I remember what she was like when we were younger.”

“I didn’t exactly leave her for Tess,” Joel blurt out with a mouthful, his head immediately shaking at the suggestion. “Yes, I dated Tess for a while, but I just wanted to experience life. I could say the same thing about you with Lucille. We both made idiotic decisions that looking back on don’t make too much sense.”

“Touché,” Negan scoffed getting comfortable on the couch again, dropping his head back against it.

“Then again you were never stupid enough to let Lucille go,” Joel compared the two of them out loud, “I should have never divorced her. I don’t know what I was thinking. Thinking back now I realize what a big mistake it was. When I was younger I was certain I would lose her to you and then I’m the one that lets her go.”

“Joel,” Negan slurred, his head dropping to the side to gaze out at Joel who was still poking at his food. “I don’t mean to point this out, but what you’ve told me with Lucille and what you did when I was young with Y/N, you do realize that it feels like you’re the one with a fucking vendetta against me, right? You’ve been claiming I’ve done all of this to get back at you, but…”

Muttering something under his breath, Joel shoved another piece of ravioli into his mouth and it had Negan snorting at the way he was avoiding the answer, “Way to avoid the conversation.”

“I’m not avoiding it,” Joel huffed sitting forward so he didn’t have to look at Negan even though out of the corner of his eye he could still see that Negan was staring out at him. “It’s just not true. I don’t have a…vendetta against you.”

“Mhmm…” Negan didn’t say much with Joel finishing up his food. After Joel set the bowl down on the coffee table, Negan was quick to pick them up to go clean them. With Negan gone, Joel just took that time to put the ice pack back on his face. Not long after Negan dropped back down onto the couch, patting his hands on his thighs. “I actually have a theory, but I think I’ll make you pissed if I say it.”

“Like it would be the first time you pissed me off,” Joel reasoned with Negan who gave a dramatic expression while considering it.

“Not yet,” Negan announced, contemplating his next thought. “You got really angry with me about doing the thing at the bar with your singing. Why did you get so bitchy about it? You can’t tell me that it didn’t feel good being up there. Living out your dreams. Your kids told me you went viral with me and Y/N told me about all the e-mails you have been getting with your job alone.”

“Because everything I have, I did myself,” Joel spoke honestly, his eyes sincere when he did actually look at Negan for this answer. “I don’t like people handing things to me. Yes, it felt good to be appreciated for something I used to love to do, but it would have meant more if I did it myself. I’m just that kind of person.”

“I see,” Negan took time to think about the answer. “Did anyone else contact you?”

“Other than the hundreds of e-mails that there was no way I could truly get through them all?” Joel mumbled, throwing his hands up while keeping a tight hold of the ice pack. “My laptop fucked up and that’s how Y/N got a hold of it to see all the stupid shit I did when we were nearing our divorce.”

“I just can’t picture being married to Y/N and letting her go,” Negan swayed from what they were talking about eliciting a grunt from Joel at how fast he seemed to change the topic. “I swear, just the way she looks at you—Lucille used to have the same kind of look. Where you know that she loves you. It takes my breath away.”

Watching Negan, Joel felt his throat tense up knowing that he still wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea of Negan with Y/N, “And God, with sex? I can’t get over what she’s like during sex. The way those eyes lock on yours when she’s about to give you a blowjob. There is something about the way that she gets a rise outta you first. The way she just kneels down between your legs. Those teasing touches where she palms over your thighs and down your legs to squeeze at your calves before up again. I like how she just doesn’t jump right into it, y’know? She makes it a big thing. Even when she starts to undo your belt and your pants. It’s so sexy. The want…the passion…”

“Negan?” Joel breathed out, noticing that Negan was caressing over his own thigh.

“But her actual blowjobs?” Negan growled, dramatically bobbing his head about and throwing his hands up in the air to stress his words. “God? It’s the perfect mix of firm and delicate. With the way her fingers curl around your cock. She truly worships your body. You know? Just slow, focused touches. She’s so meticulous with the way that she watches you to make sure you’re enjoying it. And the way she wets her lips with her mouth so close to your cock? Teasing the warmth of her breath over your shaft having your anticipation growing. Wanting her to take you in. And then when she starts to lick it? Treating you like you are her own personal lollipop that she is so fucking thankful for. It just leaves you begging for her to take it into her mouth. And when she plays with your balls? Christ.”

Joel felt a warmth flooding through his veins. It should have been anger, but the way Negan was saying and stressing things, Joel noticed that his heart was starting to pound inside of his chest, “By the time she finally takes you into her mouth? Fuck, you’ve already been begging for it. And the way she keeps her eyes locked on you with the warmth of her mouth just focusing on the tip? It almost feels like she tries to fucking overstimulate you to get you sensitive before she starts to really give you the blowjob. It’s incredible what she’s fucking capable of considering she’s only been with two men.”

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Joel shifted beside Negan with him continuing on, “And when she wants to be on top? Fuck me. I feel like I’m a teenage boy all over again with how excited I am. The way it feels when she finally gets the tip inside of her? Fuck, it feels so good. With the warmth of her tight pussy just clinging to you as you stretch and fill her until she takes all of you in. The way she looks is like she is experiencing the purest form of pleasure she has ever…”

“Okay,” Joel interrupted Negan reaching for the pillow that was beside him to cover his lap with it. After all of that Joel realized he was starting to get hard just with the detailed descriptions and it made him embarrassed. “Enough.”

“Did I give you a boner?” Negan chuckled with Joel’s face flushing over. A loud rumble of laughter fell from his throat with Joel shifting uneasily beside him pushing the pillow further into his lap.

“You did it on purpose,” Joel suggested feeling embarrassed with Negan so amused with what he had done. By the way Negan was talking, Joel knew that was exactly what Negan was going for. “I am attracted to her and you’re talking about something I know very well. My body liked picturing what you were selling. And you knew it would.”

“Eh, it just tells me that you’re bisexual,” Negan alerted Joel waving his hand about showing that he had indeed done it on purpose. “I was just testing things.”

“Testing things? How do you reckon I’m bisexual with me getting a hard on from you getting me to picture the woman I love doing those things?” Joel was confused, his right eyebrow arching up in curiosity.

“Because if you didn’t get an erection from me doing that I wondered if you truly were bisexual or if you had a preference for men,” Negan explained further why he did what he had done having Joel breathing heavily.

“Why do you suddenly think I’m extremely gay?” Joel scowled, his voice sounding angrier with each passing second. “Just because you’re the one that is open to fucking other men doesn’t mean I’m like you. I’ve been with one man based on conflicting emotions that I got when we had a threesome with Y/N and you’re the one who has slept with God knows how many men.”

“Right, you only slept with me because of conflicting emotions,” Negan snorted, his eyes rolling before he stood up from the couch and paced in the living room.

“It’s amazing that the internet seems to think you are this incredible ladies’ man,” Joel stood from the couch still keeping the pillow over him with one hand to hide himself from Negan. Negan moved over to the corner of the room to get himself a drink from the alcohol shelf that was there and Joel could feel a rush of anger flooding through him. “Yet you don’t have a problem with smoking pole and you do a hell of a job at it. How have you not gotten your ass beat by your team with you being…”

“Being what? Is this where you’re gonna mock me for being attracted to men?” Negan wondered, turning on his heel taking a long sip of the alcohol before hissing out. “Go for it Joel, it’s not like I haven’t heard the gay jokes before. So go ahead. Bring them on.”

Negan wiggled his fingers and it had Joel’s jaw tensing, his eyebrows bouncing up when Negan shrugged his shoulders, “Go ahead buddy. Let’s hear it. I am attracted to men, women, people in general. So if you want attack me for it, go ahead. If that makes you feel more comfortable about your sexuality, bring it on buddy. Make daddy proud.”

Joel’s lips parted like he was about to say something and Negan tipped his head to the side, raising his free hand to place it against his ear like he couldn’t hear Joel.

“That’s what I fucking thought,” Negan snarled, finishing off the glass that he poured for himself. “You want me to feel bad about myself for that? I don’t. You act like there weren’t signs of you being bisexual when we were younger which is fucking hilarious.”

“I’ve never slept with another man before you,” Joel scoffed when Negan poured himself another drink and went over to the couch to rest against the back of it. With the way Negan was looking at him, Joel immediately shook his head and cleared his throat. “I didn’t.”

“Right because jerking off with your friends was totally straight,” Negan’s voice changed, his jaw flexing when he saw a bit of color flush into Joel’s face. “Like I’m supposed to forget the two of us jerking off all the time together. How at first we’d just sit across the room from each other. And how we gradually got closer to one another until you started jerking me off and vice versa. So fucking straight.”

Joel said nothing, just lowered his head down with his lips parting, “I don’t know what got into you to make you this raging homophobe toward yourself, but your dad is dead Joel. You don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not for a man that isn’t even here anyways. If you want to say you just got excited by the porn, go for it. But we both know you paid way more attention to me jerking off than you did the porn. And let’s not forget, it was you that touched my dick first. You wanted me to fuck you so bad back then.”

Moving around the couch, Joel stared down at Negan while he finished off his drink and set the glass down, “So tell me Joel. What kind of fantasies did alpha Joel have back then? Did you want me to fuck your ass or did you want to fuck mine? It had to kill you when we were in the showers together. Seeing me naked and knowing that you had to pretend to be straight when all you wanted was to fuck me.”

A moment later, a strong amount of force yanked Negan out of the chair pulling him up to his feet. Joel had the material of Negan’s shirt balled up in his fist when Negan chuckled and shrugged, “Go ahead Joel. Beat up the queer guy. Get that straight male rage out. Prove you’re so straight that you would hurt me just for suggesting that you had feelings for me when we were younger.”

“Fuck you Negan,” Joel shoved Negan back into his chair making it tip back slightly.

“What is wrong with having feelings for another man?” Negan snarled at Joel who went over to the edge of the couch to bury his head into his hands. “You were more attracted to me than you were her when we were younger. Yet now you’re pretending that you never had an ounce of gay in you,” Negan was angry with Joel who lifted his head up from his palm to glare out at Negan. “Don’t lie. It was me you wanted to have sex with. I always wondered why you didn’t like her. She crushed on you so hard and she didn’t make it a secret. But no, it was me that you were constantly around. I always thought I saw you sneaking looks every time we were naked around each other. It also makes sense why it infuriated you that I was saving my virginity for the woman that I was in love with. Why you always fucked with me and made me feel bad about my relationship with Y/N.”

“I wasn’t gay,” Joel stressed with a rumble of an angered sound. “I’m not gay.”

“I never said you were. I’m suggesting that you’re a bisexual struggling with your sexuality,” Negan growled, his eyes narrowing with Joel’s breathing growing louder. “Notice you don’t deny what I’m saying. It was me that you had a crush on. And then you fucked her to get back at me. It was then you realized just how fucking perfect she really was. I don’t blame you for that because she was pure and everything right in the world. But pretending you’re this straight homophobic piece of shit is ridiculous. Maybe your father was like that, but you’re not. Being attracted to me sexually doesn’t negate your feelings for her either. You can still be head over heels in love with her and still want to explore that part of you.”

Standing up from the chair that he was in, Negan moved across the living room and stepped before Joel, “You can do that because she gave us permission. She gave you permission, but you’re scared. It doesn’t upset her.”

“Yeah Negan. What do you want me to say?” Joel bit back an angered breath. “Yes, I liked you. I liked you so fucking much. And I knew I wasn’t supposed to. I knew it was wrong. When we started doing things together, you hadn’t done anything with Y/N yet because she was too fucking young. But I wasn’t stupid. While she was always in love with me, you were always in love with her and I…”

Tipping his head to the side, Joel rolled his eyes and forced himself to keep his head down while he rubbed at the back of his head, “You’re right. I always liked you. But you know just as much as I do what happened to me. So being this way with me is cruel. Stop mocking me for the way that I felt. The way that I feel because my father beat the shit outta me Negan. You know that. I had to pretend everything was fake or else I lost everything. And you dropped it just as quick. Liking you led to me getting my ass kicked by someone I loved. Someone I thought was a good man. So please stop mocking me.”

“Joel,” Negan breathed, backing off with Joel getting upset about what happened when they were younger. “That wasn’t my intention. I just want you to be able to be yourself.”

“It’s hard,” Joel stressed, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “You saw me. You knew how much he hurt me. So please give me a break if I’m taking my time opening up to the idea of being attracted to women and…you. Because liking you got me punished. Real bad.”

“You’re right,” Negan swallowed down hard, giving Joel a firm nod. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about it like that. I’m fucking sorry.”

Nodding his head, Joel tried not to get emotional about everything when he shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah, I was jealous that you were head over heels in love with Y/N. I wanted you to like me. And I did what I did because you embarrassed me, but I’m telling you the truth when I say that falling in love with her? That wasn’t against you. I told her and she doesn’t believe me, but I questioned if I was gay or straight for a long time. I just knew that I wasn’t right. And then this one time in class I was talking to our friends on the team and I saw her smile while talking to someone in the front row. It took my breath away. And then when we slept together? The way it felt, the way she looked at me? I fell immediately. So it wasn’t to hurt you. I felt things for you. I feel things for you. Things I wasn’t allowed to follow through with, but I fell deeply in love with her. And that wasn’t a vendetta against you.”

“I believe you,” Negan stammered, his hazel eyes narrowing with him caressing down over the side of his own face. “I saw the way that the two of you looked at one another. I’m not stupid. Nor am I blind. But the Lucille stuff?”

“We got carried away,” Joel didn’t have a good enough reason for what happened with them back then. “We were close, she was beautiful. I don’t know what to tell you Negan. We both have good taste I guess? It wasn’t about having a vendetta. I was always jealous of you Negan, we both know that. But…”

Stepping before Joel, Negan’s eyes locked with his and he outstretched his hands. Placing them in over the center of Joel’s chest, Negan caressed down over the lengths of his abdomen. Stopping at Joel’s belt, Negan started to work it open having Joel swallowing loudly, “I know Joel…”

Sliding his hand over the front of Joel’s pants, Negan cupped Joel in his palm with Joel watching closely. Closing the distance between them, Negan’s breath was warm against the side of his neck and it had Joel’s eyes coming to a tight close. Working open Joel’s pants, Negan was rough in the way he got the material of Joel’s jeans and his boxer briefs down in the front allowing Joel’s rigid manhood to bounce free from its confines. Firmly curling his fingers around Joel’s shaft had Joel groaning out when Negan’s started caressing over his body. Sheathing Joel’s cock again and again had Joel panting against the side of his neck.

“You don’t have to be mad at yourself for liking me. It was never a problem that you did,” Negan bit at Joel’s chin area before pressing kisses up over Joel’s jawline. “Your dad was an asshole. You’re not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re so angry at the world because you were never truly allowed to thrive mainly because of your parents. Stop being so angry Joel and allow yourself the things that you want. Together we can all work to break down this wall you had to put up to hide behind. Behind it’s helping no one. Y/N is okay if you like me. I’m okay with it. Allow yourself to be okay with it.”

“I’m such a fucking mess,” Joel confessed, sucking in a sharp breath of air with Negan starting to pepper kisses against the side of his neck.

“Yeah? So am I,” Negan scoffed, his hand continuing to caress over Joel’s flesh, “You should just allow yourself to be pampered by the two people you want most in the world.”

“You don’t understand,” Joel winced, biting down on his lip. It felt like the room was spinning around him and he had to close his eyes.

“I understand why you think you need to do what you are,” Negan stated pulling his hand from Joel’s length having Joel whine when he did it. “I just don’t agree with your decisions.”

Dropping carefully to his knees, avoiding hurting his bad knee, Negan grabbed a firm hold of Joel’s pants tugging them down. Stumbling to stay on his feet, Joel breathed heavily with his eyes lowering down to watch Negan. Pushing up at Joel’s button down and his white t-shirt, Negan kissed at the area below Joel’s belly button. Compared to what he was used to, it felt different with Negan’s short beard teasing at his flesh.

Palming down in over Joel’s hips elicited a sharp exhale from Joel. Sliding his hands around Joel’s hips, Negan grasped at Joel’s fleshy bottom and slid his hands down to the back of Joel’s thighs before up again. Nipping at the area just below Joel’s belly button had his hand lifting to sink into Negan’s thick hair.

“Please,” Joel stammered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. Tipping his head back, Negan dragged his bottom lip up the length of Joel’s hip toward his lower abdomen again. The way Joel’s big brown eyes were focused on him made Negan smile. “Please Negan, I need this.”

“Look at you begging,” Negan muttered arrogantly, his eyes narrowing with Joel sounding and looking incredibly desperate. Giving a single nod, Negan adjusted his knee so he’d be more comfortable. Each stroke of Negan’s hand over Joel’s cock grew quicker going from base to tip. Feeling Joel slightly bouncing his hips forward with every movement of Negan’s hand over his uncut cock made an amused rumble fall from Negan. “See, if you just accept yourself as you are, you don’t have to worry about begging me to suck your cock Joel. You can just have it and not feel guilty.”

Joel’s face grew tense when Negan extended his tongue out, tapping Joel’s cock against the wet, warmth of it. Involuntarily, Joel’s hips flexed bringing his hips closer to Negan who snickered against his flesh. The sensation drew chills down Joel’s spine and he tugged harder at Negan’s hair.

Catching onto the frustration, Negan started to press wet kisses over the tip of Joel’s swollen member. Every caress of his lips over Joel’s sensitive flesh grew stronger until Negan took Joel into the warmth of his mouth. One hand squeezed at Joel’s hips while the other stroked over Joel’s shaft. Together his hand and mouth worked in unison to provide Joel with as much pleasure as he could. Taking Joel further back into his throat had Joel’s head tipping back with a raspy moan falling from him. Negan was taking his time letting his tongue tease over every ridge of Joel’s cock and he felt like this was big for Joel since he was allowing himself to be more open to the person he wanted to be.

Wet sounds filled the air as Joel started to unhurriedly thrust his hips forward toward Negan’s throat. By the pressure that was over his hip, Joel knew that Negan wanted to control this tempo, but it was almost instinctive to meet those movements.

Even though Negan knew Joel was excited to explore this whole thing, when Joel started to thrust his hips just a bit too hard it had Negan pulling back with a wet popping sound. It drew out a disappointed grunt from Joel who was breathing loudly.

Unexpectedly, Joel reached down to grab a firm hold of Negan. How easily he pulled Negan up onto his feet surprised Negan. Balling Negan’s shirt up into his grasp had Negan falling forward bringing them closer together.

Eagerly, Joel moved forward to bring their lips together in a forceful kiss that shocked Negan. Grunting against Joel’s mouth, Negan realized there was some sense of Joel trying to show dominance in the moment, but he was too focused on that instead of allowing things to feel good.

“Dial it down a notch,” Negan instructed, pulling his mouth away from Joel to drag his thumb across Joel’s bottom lip. Collecting the dampness that was there, Negan shook his head and hushed Joel. “We’re both alpha males, but we don’t have to beat the shit out of each other to make a point. Slow down. For fucks sake. Allow yourself to enjoy things.”

“I’m new to this,” Joel defended himself, taking Negan’s thumb between his lips to flick his tongue out against the tip of it. A deep rumble of a moan escaped Negan with his eyelids growing heavy. Fuck, he wondered if Joel realized how much that turned him on.

“You can’t be this rough with Y/N, are you?” Negan inquired finding himself completely impressed when Joel took his thumb into his mouth. Trying to keep it together, Negan felt his heart skip a beat with the way that Joel was sucking faintly at his thumb and then nibbled at the tip.

“Sometimes,” Joel breathed loudly, his eyes heavy with lust in the moment.

“Well chill the fuck out,” Negan snickered looking down between them. Shoving Joel had him tripping over his own pants that were hooked around his ankles. Falling back onto the couch, Joel grunted with Negan shaking his head. “There is a storm outside, we have time to explore this.”

Pulling at his own shirt, Negan raised it above his head stretching out his long torso when he tossed the material aside on the floor. Adjusting the waistband of his black athletic pants, Negan watched as Joel fumbled to open his button-down shirt that he was wearing.

“How is this supposed to work?” Joel gulped down with a pant, struggling to get the material from his body. “I don’t know what to do with this whole poly thing.”

“It’s the three of us sharing each other mutually. No anger. No jealousy. She can have you or me. You can have me or her. And so on,” Negan stated, sucking at his bottom lip. With a crooked smirk, Negan knew that this would be a hard thing to agree upon, but he felt like it was the most positive outcome for them all. “That way, we’re all happy.”

“And she’s okay with that?” Joel inquired grabbing the bottom of his t-shirt. Pulling it from his body, Joel tossed it aside. Going to work off his pants, Joel let out a tremoring breath when Negan motioned him to stop. Lowering down, Negan grabbed a hold of the material and tossed them to the ground with a thud.

“Have you been listening to her?” Negan wondered, holding his finger up to motion Joel to wait. Moving down the hallway, Joel wondered if he should have been following Negan who soon returned to the living room after shoving something into his pocket. Stepping before Joel had Joel’s chocolate brown eyes lifting up to stare at Negan. Shakily leaning forward, Joel’s fingers made contact with the side of Negan’s hurt leg and it had Negan sucking in a sharp breath of air. Rubbing his cheek in over Negan’s thigh through the material of his pants, Joel closed his eyes with Negan stroking his fingers through his thick hair, “I think once you learn to accept who you are, you’re going to love yourself so much more Joel.”

“I don’t even know who I am,” Joel admitted with a tremoring breath. It was true. There was so much about himself that Joel didn’t understand.

“And that’s what we have to work on,” Negan hummed stroking his fingers over the back of Joel’s neck. “First, you have to stop hating yourself for things you can’t control. Feelings you’ve had since you were a teenager.”

“I hate myself for just about everything,” Joel confessed, tipping his head back to meet Negan’s eyes with his big puppy dog stare. “You don’t understand…”

“I do. I understand hating yourself very much,” Negan swept his thumb in over Joel’s jaw realizing how eager Joel was to have Negan touch him. “That’s not a new feeling for me Joel. It’s been there my whole life too.”

Clasping Joel’s jaw between his thumb and index finger, Negan bit down on his bottom lip and nodded toward the couch, “Lay down with your head resting on the arm of the couch.”

Obeying, Joel lazily stretched out on the couch doing as he was instructed. His mouth went dry with Negan palming over the front of his pants gazing over Joel’s body, “Are you a top or a bottom?”

“Neither, I like both,” Negan responded with a wrinkle of his nose. “Both have their merits and both feel really fucking good when done right. Both fucking take a certain talent. Focus. Relaxation. Preparation. Each provides different kinds of pleasure.”

Moving to the couch, Negan got on his knees over Joel hovering over Joel’s chest. Pushing down the waistband of his athletic pants in the front, Negan allowed his semi-erect cock to pull from the material. Touching himself, Negan felt a rush of excitement at the way Joel’s dark eyes gazed over his body.

“You seemed to like both the other night,” Negan reminded Joel of their time together in New York. The reminder had Joel’s face growing hot with red flooding into his cheeks at the reminder of them sleeping together. “Wet your lips.”

Glaring up at Negan, Joel was dramatic in the way he did it and Negan sank his fingers firmly into Joel’s hair, “This dick isn’t gonna suck itself.”

Outstretching his arm, a firm smack filled the air followed by a groan from Negan after Joel hit him. Wincing, Negan rubbed at the side of his face. There was a pinging sensation from the hit and Negan rolled his eyes. Returning the gesture, Negan smacked at the side of Joel’s face. It was enough power to make a point with Joel hissing beneath him.

Bracing his left hand in over the arm of the couch, Negan licked his lips while leaning forward. Curling his fingers at the base of his own cock, Negan placed the tip of his manhood at Joel’s lips hearing Joel’s breathing getting louder. Parting his lips, Joel allowed Negan to push his length into the warmth of his mouth. Circling Negan’s girth with his lips, Joel’s eyes closed with him attempting to deliver to Negan what he liked with a blowjob.

“That’s it,” Negan hummed starting to thrust his hips toward the warmth of Joel’s wet mouth allowing his cock to grow fully rigid with Joel pleasuring him. “Don’t forget to use your tongue.”

Tipping his head back, Negan moaned with Joel listening to his direction. This was what Negan assumed was Joel’s first time really giving a blowjob, so it really wasn’t that bad for a first time. Dropping his head back, Joel’s wet lips kissed at the shiny tip of Negan’s cock getting a growl from the man over him. “You have nice lips, y’know that?”

“I got a lot of nice things,” Joel breathed with a weak smirk pressing another wet kiss at the underside of Negan’s erection. Getting up from over Joel, Negan stood at the side of the couch. Digging into his pocket, Negan pulled out a condom and some lube which had a breath catching in Joel’s throat. Holding out the condom, Negan waited for Joel to grab it. Accepting the condom, Joel swallowed down hard with Negan kicking out of his athletic pants. Holding onto the condom, Joel considered it for a while until lifting the condom back up toward Negan. “I want you to be the top.”

“Are you sure?” Negan inquired, his eyebrows furrowing after taking the package back from Joel. Setting it aside, Negan wiggled his fingers motioning Joel to lay on his stomach. “I need to prep you like last time.”

Carefully rolling over, Joel got comfortable and let out a long exhale. The warmth of Negan moving in over him had his eyes coming to a tight close. Negan was cautious with the way that he moved over Joel starting with caressing over Joel’s shoulders to get him relaxed, “That’s not what I thought you were going to focus on.”

“You wanna loosen up all around before this,” Negan commented working on Joel’s tight muscles. Grumbling Joel buried his head further down enjoying the way that it felt. Sinking into the couch, Joel realized that it had been a very long time since he had anyone doing this for him.

“You keep doing this and I’m going to fall asleep,” Joel alerted Negan with a tired breath finding himself getting too comfortable. “What happens after we do this?”

“What do you want to happen?” Negan inquired, the warmth of his breath hovering in over Joel’s shoulder. Depositing faint kisses there, Negan listened to the sounds that Joel was making to see if he seemed comfortable. “Depends on you I guess. I love Y/N, it’s not gonna change. She means everything to me. I’m still gonna be attracted to you. I’m open to trying something between the three of us. See where it goes.”

Once Negan started caressing over Joel’s lower back it had Joel looking over his shoulder. A chill ran up Joel’s spine with Negan’s hands dragging down over Joel’s sides, “Are you safe with sex?”

“I’d like to think I was safe,” Negan responded reaching out to grab the bottle of lubrication that he had brought with him. “I don’t ever try to hurt anyone, but you never know what someone is comfortable with.”

“Not what I mean,” Joel turned his upper half, his jaw flexing when Negan started to squeeze at Joel’s ass. An involuntary moan escaped Joel’s throat with the way that Negan was touching him, surprising even Joel in that moment. “I mean, do you wear condoms?”

“I have only slept with three people without a condom,” Negan alerted Joel with a wrinkle of his nose having Joel lower back down onto his stomach. “I also am checked out all the time by a healthcare professional with my job.”

“Lucille, Y/N and…?” Joel waited for the answer having Negan snort when he heard it. “What?”

“Are you forgetting the other night all together?” Negan stammered, his eyes narrowing with Joel turning onto his side to look back at him. “You were kind of eager at the apartment the other night. I was in my pajamas, you didn’t have condoms, it was meant to be a family trip…”

“Oh,” Joel’s lips were parted as Negan made an amused expression. “I didn’t think about that. Why are you doing it now?”

“Because practicing safe sex is a good thing?” Negan suggested, his right eyebrow arching in curiosity. “Not saying that you’re dirty or anything, but…”

“Got it,” Joel retorted with a rumble, his head lowering with Negan continuing to palm at his fleshy bottom.

“I kind of assumed after the threesome it was okay…” Negan’s words lingered and the sound of the lid of the lube opening was heard. Breathing loudly, Joel’s eyes squeezed shut tighter with the sensation of the cool liquid dripping down over his body. “What about you?”

“Just…uh…two,” Joel breathed against his arm, biting down on his bottom lip. It sounded kind of ridiculous thinking about it, but he never trusted someone enough to do that with them. Especially when he already had two children, “And you’re the second so…”

“Boy scout,” Negan joked, bringing his palm down firmly over Joel’s ass provoking a wince from his throat. “You have such a nice ass.”

“Jealous?” Joel smirked with an amused rumble. Another firm smack over his bottom caused him to grunt this time.

“I have a nice ass too, mine just isn’t so big,” Negan defended himself with a growl, circling his fingers at Joel’s pucker having Joel clench up before him. “Relax or nothing will feel good. If this isn’t what you want, I’ll happily switch with you.”

Doing as he was told, Joel bit down on his bottom lip with Negan’s fingers pressing into him. It had Joel wrapping his arms around the throw pillow that was there. Truth was? Negan was very gentle. And probably very good at getting him prepared. Most people could only be so lucky to have Negan be the first person they slept with in this case.

“I think Y/N wishes you would have been her first,” Joel admitted getting a quiet laugh from Negan behind him. Warmth pressed in over the side of his neck as Negan’s lips descended down over it. “You’re good at what you do.”

“If I would have been her first, I was a virgin then too,” Negan reminded Joel with a smirk, nipping gently at the skin over Joel’s neck. “It might have been careful and gentle, but it probably wouldn’t have been great. Lucille let me know that I could use some work.”

A low rumble of a moan escaped Joel and he turned his head a certain way so Negan could pamper the side of his neck with kisses, “But you knew Y/N’s body better than Lucille’s.”

“Regardless, no one is perfect their first time,” Negan defended, nuzzling his nose at the area right behind Joel’s ear. Shudders flooded Joel’s body and he sucked in a sharp breath of air. “What was meant to happen, happened.”

Arching his back, Joel let out another moan with Negan’s fingers preparing him with finesse. The sensation of Negan’s fingers leaving his body had him breathing unevenly, panting even. A force pushed at his body to get him back onto his back with Negan hovering over him. Grabbing the condom again, Negan worked open the package and then took his time putting the condom on. Pouring a decent amount of lube into his hand, Negan worked it over his body and reached for Joel’s legs. Placing them in over his shoulders, Negan adjusted Joel the way he wanted him. Beneath him Joel seemed nervous and it had Negan pausing.

“This isn’t your first time,” Negan reminded Joel with a smirk reaching between them to line his body up with Joel’s. “You obviously liked it enough to want it a second time.”

“I wasn’t looking at you last time,” Joel countered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat with his right hand lowering to loosely hook his fingers around Negan’s wrist.

“Well I’d rather look at your pretty face with those big brown eyes,” Negan pushed forward, sinking some of his length into Joel’s tight opening. Exhaling loudly, Joel lifted his head and Negan shook his head. Allowing Joel to keep his fingers wrapped around his wrist, Negan braced his other hand on the arm of the couch. Starting off slow, Negan’s lips parted with his eyes rolling back to a close. A muscle flexed in Negan’s jaw and Joel was more so focused on Negan’s face rather than how things felt. Once things started to get a bit faster and harder with the smacking of their skin, Joel found himself moaning involuntarily with his head dropping back. “Is this everything you wanted when we were younger?”

“Negan,” Joel frowned hating that they were going back to their earlier conversation.

“Stop pretending you didn’t want this,” Negan demanded, his hips smacking harder up against Joel drawing gasps from his throat. “Is this what you pictured?”

“You’re hotter now,” Joel winced, his fingers squeezing around Negan’s wrist.

“You’re hotter now,” Negan repeated with a wrinkle of his nose, amused with the response he got out of Joel. “You prefer the alpha male as opposed to the twink?”

“Yes,” Joel swallowed down hard, his eyes rolling back to a close with the sensations Negan was drawing out of him. Dropping his other hand, Joel curled his fingers around his cock and caressed in tempo with Negan’s thrusts. “I just liked your personality. I liked how you didn’t take…”

Joel moaned out loudly, his hand pumping faster over his length with Negan plunging into him time and time again, “anyone’s shit.”

“The fact I had a big cock didn’t hurt either,” Negan mused with a grunt, pressing faint kisses at Joel’s leg.

“I wouldn’t have cared what your cock looked like,” Joel growled having Negan drop Joel’s legs down so he could crawl in closer to Joel. Bracing Joel’s thighs over his hips Negan made sure he could bring their lips together in a heated kiss. Brushing his tongue out against Joel’s had Joel groaning into his mouth. “Harder.”

“No,” Negan shook his head knowing that he was already moving as hard and fast as he thought Joel could take being new to this whole thing. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You’re infuriating,” Joel curled his fingers around the back of Negan’s neck to bring their mouths together again in a powerful movement with both of them fighting for some kind of dominance in the kiss. Pushing his hand aside, Negan curled his fingers around Joel’s length now pumping his hand over Joel’s distended flesh. “Fuck…”

“There we go…” Negan panted, with Joel dropping his head back against the pillow. Hovering his lips in over Joel’s, Negan felt the first splash of Joel’s cum at his lower abdomen followed by the next few ropes of it covering both his and Joel’s chests. Caressing him until the very end of his orgasm, Negan then focused on his own release working to build himself up until he finally did come with a roar. Allowing his hips to come to falter, Negan pressed a lingering kiss over Joel’s lips and then carefully pulled away. Working the condom from his body, Negan disappeared into the kitchen to throw it away. Returning he saw that Joel’s abdomen was sinking and rising repeatedly from breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. “Why didn’t you just tell me you liked me?”

Tapping at Joel’s legs, Negan dropped down at the other side of the couch and stroked his fingers over the length of them. Waiting for an answer, Negan made a dramatic expression with Joel rolling his eyes, “You were head over heels in love with Y/N and vice versa. You two were my best friends. And I knew that she had a crush on me. I don’t know. It was embarrassing. “

“Why be a dick?” Negan was still looking for answers from their past. Joel brushed his fingers through his wet, messy hair to slick it back. “You know what Y/N meant to me.”

“I was the most popular kid in school. I had an image to uphold and you embarrassed me. They expected me to do something to get back at you,” Joel reasoned with Negan, throwing his hands up in the air. “I didn’t expect to fall in love with Y/N, but I did. Very much so.”

“I know,” Negan sighed loudly, curling his fingers around Joel’s foot to give it a tight squeeze.

“I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me for what I’ve done,” Joel confessed with a saddened expression. Sweeping his fingers over the inside of Negan’s thigh had Negan’s head tipping to the side. “I had so many chances and I blew them Negan.”

“You have two things going for you that will never keep her away from you,” Negan pointed out, curling his other arm around the back of his neck to get more comfortable. Joel waited for the answer and Negan clearly thought it was obvious. “Liz and Peter.”

“She loves you though,” Joel claimed with a shake of his head.

“And I love her,” Negan stated firmly with his dimples becoming more prominent. “Nothing is gonna change that for me. That doesn’t negate her feelings for you though. She always told me that she still loved you and I always told her that I was okay with that.”

“I am such a fuckup though,” Joel realized feeling guilty that everything played out the way it did.

“You weren’t always,” Negan noted remembering what the two of them were like when they were younger. “Everyone in this town wanted to fucking have a relationship like the two of you. Losing your parents hurt your mental health and you’re doing your best. Now you’re aware of your actions and it’s up to you to work those feelings out. Test the waters and make things right.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Joel admitted, sliding further down on the couch so that way they were closer to one another.

“Nothing is easy in this life Joel,” Negan vowed, his free hand placing in over the center of his chest that was still damp with sweat. “You just have to do your best and that’s all you can do.”

----

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