#i had it happen recently and it sucks so bad i can’t do dating apps for a bit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maddiwrites · 4 years ago

Text

Precious Life

Pairing: JJ x reader

REQUEST (From anon): could you write a jj maybank imagine where he and the reader are together, but she pushes him away due to her mental health. she has insecurity issues after her last boyfriend and her bestfriend passed a few months ago leaving her horribly depressed. finally, she opens up to him and its just super fluffy and he showers her in love and support.

Note: Thank you so much for the request and I’m so sorry it took me a while to write, but hopefully you like it. I kinda suck at fluff, so I’m sorry if it’s not enough fluff. Let me know what you think!

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: mentions of death of a friend, mental trauma from a past relationship, depression

You don’t know when it happened - whether it was overnight or throughout the past few weeks. Unlike everyone else who was excited about the summer finally beginning after what felt like the longest school year of your life, your days felt darker as you dreaded the upcoming season. You use to love summer - hell, you thrived during the hottest months of the year. You loved outdoor dining, surfing, beach parties, going out on the boat in the marsh with your friends. But now the thought of doing those activities made you want to vomit.

After your best friend passed away only a few months ago, you lost interest in all those activities. Because they all reminded you of her. She was the one who brought you out of you shell and pulled you out of your dark place when the world felt too unbearable to live in anymore. And now she was gone. Just like that. Life is so precious, you remember people telling you that at her funeral. They weren’t wrong. But you never thought your life could compare to the one of your beautifully made best friend.

Her birthday is next month in the early weeks of July. Her mother wants to hold a small party as if she was still there to celebrate. Of course she wants you there, but you don’t know if you’d be able to handle it. A birthday party for a dead girl? What an obvious reminder that she’s not there. It’s going to be the first birthday you spend without her. The tradition of getting smoothie bowls and going to the local zoo and finishing the night off with a bonfire and beer cans you stole out of your parents fridge is completely destroyed. Gone just like she is.

The only person making your miserable life a little more bearable is your wonderful boyfriend, JJ Maybank. Despite only being together for about two months, he became your closest friend. Your best friend would have loved him and would even be impressed that you went for such a bad boy. Your type usually consisted of stuck up boys with egos bigger than their daddy’s bank account. Sometimes you picture a life where your best friend and JJ knew each other. They’d probably be best of friends. Your friend would be weary of him at first, but JJ would work his usual charm and win her over in seconds. It’s what he did with you.

You met him after getting really close with Kiara when her dad hired you as another waitress at the Wreck. You remembered the day he first walked into the restaurant with his friends. You felt his eyes on you the entire time. Feeling bold, you walked over to his table and asked to borrow his phone. You opened his snap chat app and took a selfie with the two of you and said, “Here’s a picture if you want it to last longer.” And that was how the love story of JJ Maybank and Y/N Y/L/N started. JJ still has the picture saved as his Lock Screen. It makes you smile every time you see it.

Your life with JJ was nearly perfect. What started as a flirty banter became something serious. Kie knew JJ was in deep because he never complained about how slow you wanted to take the relationship. Aka sex. Usually JJ is the kind of guy who will go get what he wants. And if that’s a quick lay, that’s what he’ll go searching for. Someone that won’t make him work too hard for it. But with you? It was different. Sure he wanted to explore that part of the relationship with you, but only when you were ready. It was hard for him some days, especially when you wore his hoodies or kissed him so deeply that he swore his skin was on fire.

Although JJ has been nothing but a respectful KING about your decision to wait, you can’t help but feel guilty about keeping him waiting. It’s not that you didn’t want to - because god did you want to. But it was hard for you to give someone all of you like that. Part of you blames that on your own insecurities and the other part knows it’s trauma due to your past relationship. You never told anyone the kind of vile and disgusting things your ex boyfriend would say to your face. Well, you confessed to your best friend on the night he broke up with you. You physically had to hold her back by her hair to keep her from setting his house on fire. She tried to make you see that everything he said about you was wrong. Dumb, fat, whore, useless, poor, ugly. You wanted to believe her, but it was like your ex had physically tattooed the words onto your skin and it was hard to see anything else. When things were getting heated between you and JJ and you felt his hand dip under the thin material of your t shirt, you would pull away, afraid that he would feel the rolls on your stomach. You never let him see you without makeup on. And even wore baggy clothing so you wouldn’t have to worry about showing too much skin. You didn’t want him getting the wrong impression.

JJ tried asking Kie about it. JJ is smarter than people give him credit for. He had a feeling that your choosing to not have sex ran deeper than just not being ready. Which is totally fine but he wanted to be there for you if you needed help. Of course Kie had no idea. But just like JJ, she noticed you pulling away from the group slowly. She thought maybe it was the stress of finals as the end of the school year wrapped up, but then summer came around and the less you did.

“She’s been off, right?” JJ asks Kie. His legs bounces up and down anxiously and he chews on the nub of his thumb nail. “Do you notice it too?”

Kie doesn’t know how to answer. Of course she wants to be honest with her best friend, but she also doesn’t want to hurt him. “I mean, she’s been kind of distant with us. Maybe she’s been busy. I mean she’s gotten a few of her shifts covered in the last two weeks.”

JJ shakes his head. “I don’t know. I can’t shake off this feeling that it’s something more than that. Something I’m missing. I mean...” he sighs and takes his fingers through his hair. “Do you think it’s me? Did I do something? Maybe she feels pressured by this whole sex thing-“

“No. Of course not.” Kie says. She knows JJ would never make you do anything you don’t want to do, and he would never make you feel guilty about it. “You should talk to her about it next time you see her. I mean, I could bring it up too but I think it would be best coming from you.”

JJ nods and accepts this answer from Kie. It doesn’t make him feel any less anxious about the state of your relationship but at least he’s not crazy for thinking you’re pulling away.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He doesn’t see you for another week. You claimed that you’ve been busy with work and college prep. JJ didn’t buy it but he also didn’t push it. He saw you when you showed up at his window at the Chateau.

You’d come after having one of your episodes - one where you can’t sleep or eat or even focus on one thought. You don’t know why you came to the Chateau. You knew JJ would be here but you didn’t think he’d be able to help you. No one ever can.

“Hey,” JJ flicks on the lamp from the bedside table as he watches your figure squeeze through the window. “What are you doing here?”

You shrug. “I - uh. I don’t know, exactly. Just wanted to see you, I guess.”

JJ tilts his head and narrows his eyes at you. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” You lie.

JJ nods, but he doesn’t believe you. “Then come here.” He opens up his arms for you to fall into. When you do, he pulls you in close with your head laying on his bare chest. You focus on his steady heartbeat and his warm arms around your body. You miss this. Being with JJ whole heartedly - mind and body. Recently it’s only been your body - your mind off somewhere else.

“Did I wake you?” You ask softy.

JJ kisses the top of your head. “No.”

When you close your eyes, you picture your friend again. Her smile and laugh. Things that should have made you happy. But they don’t. Not anymore.

You don’t remember when or how it happened - how you ended up being below a hovering JJ as his lips peppered your skin. You remember starting the heavy make out session, hoping to distract yourself from the depressing thoughts of your dead best friend.

However, the deeper you got into it, the deeper you got in your own thoughts. First about your friend and then about your ex. What he would say if he were the one above you - “I thought you were going to the gym?” “You didn’t shave?” “You could use some sun.” - His voice rang in your head like a screeching record and you couldn’t do it anymore.

“Stop,” you mumble softly enough that JJ doesn’t hear it until you physically push him off of you and say more loudly. “J, stop!”

As his back hits the mattress again, he holds his hands up in surrender. He didn’t realize he was doing anything wrong and his heart races with the thought that maybe he hurt you or had gone too far.

You quickly pick up your tossed shirt and bag while avoiding all kinds of eye contact with him. You felt embarrassed. It’s not his fault that you can physically feel every skin roll on your body or think you can smell every bad odor radiating off your skin. JJ has never been anything but a prince to you since you started dating. You felt bad that you couldn’t give him what he wanted. Sex should be a normal part of your relationship yet you couldn’t seem to give him your all just yet.

“I’m sorry. Did I-“ JJ starts to apologize but you cut him off.

“No. I’m sorry. I should go. I should have never come -“

“Hey,” JJ sits up and tries to reach for you, but you yank your hand closer to your body when his fingers graze your skin. JJ frowns. “You don’t have to go. We can just go to sleep. Or I can sleep on the couch.”

You pause at the bedroom door with your back to him. You squeeze your eyes tight to stop the tears from cascading down your cheeks. You hate this. Feeling like another burden to someone else. Not being able to give the one you love everything they want. It’s not fair. It feels like everyday your days just keeping getting darker and darker as if the sun never rises. And you don’t know how long you’ll be able to take it.

“Y/N...” JJ softly calls out for you. He can see the tension in your shoulders and your knuckles turning white as you clench around the door knob. He knows something isn’t right. That there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to what you’re going through. He’d never force you to tell him anything. But he wants you to feel comfortable enough that you know you have the option to talk if you wanted to.

“I’m sorry, J...” your voice cracks which makes JJ’s heart break a little more. Still with your back to him, you shake your head. “I can’t be what you want me to be.”

“Y/N -“

You finally turn to look at him. “You deserve someone who will give you everything you want. Someone who makes you happy - someone who is happy.” You sniffle back the tears. “I’m sorry. That’s just not me.”

Tears prick at JJ’s eyes. He wishes he can say he is surprised, but he honestly saw this coming. You’ve been distant and hard to read. He thought you were falling out of love with him for weeks. But that doesn’t make this any less hard to hear.

“Don’t do this,” JJ shakes his head. “We can work this out -“

“I can’t do it anymore,” you shake your head as one lone tear falls down your cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You rip the door open and stumble through John B’s house before JJ could say anything else. You throat feels on fire as you bite back a heart wrenching scream from what you’ve just done. You probably ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to you. No surprise there, you think. Nothing in your life seems to ever go as planned.

You run home until your legs feel like they’re literally on fire. By the time your back hits the mattress of your own bed, your muscles feel like jello, and you wonder if you’ll ever be able to walk again.

You cry into your pillow until the world around you fades to darkness.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Its been about two weeks since you last saw JJ and the Pogues. You didn’t think it was possible, but without them, your life somehow felt even emptier. Days feel like years. Your body feels so heavy, it’s hard to get out of bed most days. You can’t remember the last time you showered. Your skin on your face feels dry from all tears that have been shed. Some days you want to pick up the phone and call JJ or Kie, just to hear their voice. But you don’t. Because you don’t want to feel like a burden to either one of them. You broke up with JJ. You’re not their problem anymore.

With your head tucked deep into your pillow, you feel the corner of your bed dip as if someone had just sat down. You figured it was just your mom checking in on you again for the hundredth time. She doesn’t say anything and you don’t acknowledge her either.

Your phone beeps with another text message from JJ. You peek your eye open at your phone and slowly reach for it. You hesitate opening the message, afraid that whatever he has to say will only break your heart and make you feel like an even worse human being.

“You’re seriously not going to answer that?” The person sitting on your bed says, making you snap around to face the girl who is for sure not your mother, but your best friend. The same best friend who’s buried in a cemetery fifteen minutes away from your house.

She looks exactly how you remember her. Long beautiful hair that frames her perfect jawline. Tan almost glistening skin that radiates off the sunlight that shines through your window. Eyes sparkling with life and mischief.

You look at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. You were truly at a loss for words. Confused was an understatement. It didn’t make sense.

She laughs at your reaction and shakes her head. “Do you need a minute?”

“I don’t - how - am I - am I dreaming?” You stutter.

“No I’m just the prettiest zombie you’ve ever seen,” She says sarcastically and holds her grin. You blink at her. “Yes, you’re dreaming. Well, kinda.” She stands up and faces you. “You’re definitely dreaming but I’m in control of visiting you in your sleep. Kinda cool, right? It’s a ghost trick I recently learned.”

“I’m officially going crazy,” You say.

“You’re right. You are going crazy,” Your friend rounds to the other side of the bed to come face to face with you as you sit up and rub your eyes. “But not because you’re seeing me. Because you’re not seeing JJ.”

You drop your hands at your side and glare at her. “You don’t even know him.”

“I know of him,” She says. “He’s a Pogue. A hot one too. And he’s head over heels in love with you. What else do I need to know?”

You shake your head. “It’s complicated.”

“Why? He loves you and you love him.”

You flip your comforter off you body and walk past the girl who loves sticking her nose in other people’s business. You always told her it would get her in trouble one day. But you secretly loved that she was so nosy. Because she cared and always gave the best advice.

You walk towards your dresser and stare at yourself in the mirror above it. The bags under your eyes are dark and your skin pale. Your hair is greasy from your lack of washing it and you’re starting to realize you’re beginning to smell.

Your friend sighs and sits back on your bed. “He’s in your head,” She says glumly.

You scoff, “I think if anyone’s in my head, it’s you.”

She glares back at you. “You know what I mean. Y/Ex’s/N. He’s still tormenting you after almost a year of not seeing him.”

You shake your head. “No I’m -”

“Come on, Y/N. You can’t lie to me. You’re still hiding your laugh behind your hand because he called it obnoxious. You hide yourself under baggy clothing and you won’t have sex with JJ because Y/Ex’s/N said you were bad at it -”

“Stop.”

“Clearly you weren’t bad at it since he got to come every single time. If anyone was bad at it, it was him.”

“Y/BFF’s/N.”

“What? It’s true,” She shrugs. That’s what you always loved about her. She was unapologetic. She meant what she said every time no matter what. You wished you had her confidence. She sighs and moves over on the bed so she’s closer to you. “Y/N, you deserve to be happy,” she says more softly. “And JJ makes you happy. Why are you pushing him away? Why can’t you let yourself be happy?”

“Because you’re not here!” You finally kick down the wall that’s been building in your head since your friend’s death. You never talked about her with anyone. Not even with her own family. She was your person - the girl who was going to stand by your side at your wedding, be the god mother to your children, your shoulder to cry on, and your therapist when you needed to rant. And now she’s not here and it feels wrong living the life you were supposed to live together. “How can I be happy when you’re not here?”

“Y/N...”

“No,” You cry. “It’s not fair. You’re supposed to be here. I can’t pretend like everything’s normal when it’s not. This was supposed to be the best summer of our lives and then you just left.” You snap your fingers. “Just like that. Out of nowhere. And if that can happen to you then it can happen to -”

You cut yourself off, afraid to say what you really were thinking. You didn’t want to put that kind of energy into the atmosphere because the thought haunted you every night when you were alone with your thoughts. You never thought you could lose someone like you lost your best friend. You didn’t think that would ever happen to you. But it did. And it put life in perspective for you. You don’t think you’d be able to live through another loss like that so falling for JJ was scary to you. Because if something ever happened to him, you wouldn’t know what to do.

“Hey,” She stands up to embrace you in a hug. You sob into her shoulder and squeeze her tightly against you. You don’t want to let her go. She feels so real. You’re actually touching her. “Look at me.” She eventually pulls away to look at you. She offers a sad grin and pushes your hair out of your eyes. “I’m sorry I died. But you get to live! You know how jealous I am that you have the ability to eat smoothie bowls every day and go surfing and date cute boys and go on road trips with your friends and family? You don’t even know how good you have it. And on top of that, you have the hottest guy on the island fawning over you and you’re too sad about me to even realize it. I don’t want you to live this way -” she motions to your messy room. “I want you to take advantage of the life you have. If I can’t live it, then you have to live it for me.”

“I don’t want to do it without you,” You cry.

She shakes her head. “You’ll never be without me, chick. I’m always going to be with you. Besides, I like JJ. You’d be stupid to let him go.”

You bite your bottom lip and feel a rush of heat climb up your neck to your cheeks. “He is really good to me.” You knew your friend was right. She was always right. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” She says. You both turn when you hear someone knock on your door. She looks back at you and smirks. “That’s my cue.”

“Wait -”

“Don’t worry, chick. Remember what I said. I’m not far away.”

You gasp awake wrapped in your sheets with dried drool stuck to your chin. You sit up and look around frantically for any sign of your best friend. But she’s gone. So is any sign that she might have been here. You rub the dried saliva off your chin with your fingers and sigh up at the ceiling. It felt so real.

Your mom lets herself into your room and smiles at you. “Oh, good. You’re awake.”

“Yeah...” You say slowly. You think back to everything your best friend said to you in your dream. How lucky you are to live a life that she can’t. For the first time ever, she was jealous of you. For a life you’re taking for granted. Although it was hard to be happy without her by your side, you knew she didn’t want you sulking around for her. Some days are going to be hard. That’s just the inevitable. But you have the ability to make it easier. It all starts with you. “I think I’m going to take a shower.”

“Really?” Your mom says, surprised by the effort you’re making so early in the morning.

“Yeah,” You grin and walk past her to get to your bathroom. Today is going to be a new day, you say to yourself as you let the warm water rain over you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Two days later was your best friend’s birthday. A day you’ve been dreading for weeks. Your heart felt heavy and your mind clouded as you moved around your room getting ready for the day. As much as you wanted to stay in bed, you knew it wouldn’t be what she wanted. You haven’t spoken to her since that night, but you knew she was quietly watching over you.

You throw on a pair of sports shorts and a long sleeve t shirt. The day is cold and foggy so you knew the cemetery would be cold. Your parents offer you a small smile as you walk out the door with a bouquet of flowers and a blanket.

You slowly come to a stop as you’re walking to your car parked on the street in front of your house when you recognize a familiar truck parked behind it. JJ steps out of the driver’s seat and approaches you with his hands tucked in his short pockets. He smiles sheepishly at you and glances down at the flowers.

“Hey,” He says.

“Hey,” You shuffle awkwardly on your feet. Why did he have to look so good? He’s dressed in a Coors Light tank and cargo shorts. His golden hair is perfectly quaffed and his skin perfectly sun kissed. “How are you?”

“Good, good,” He nods. He hates that your relationship has resulted to this. Awkward small talk. “I’m sorry. Am I catching you at a bad time?” He motions to the flowers.

“Um,” You glance between the flowers and him and shrug. “No. I was actually just going to see a friend. Would you like to come?” You remember all the things your friend had to say about JJ. How he loves you, you love him, and he makes you happy. You messed up by breaking up with him, but maybe you can make it right by explaining everything to him.

“Oh,” JJ looks surprised that you’re offering time to hang out. He was afraid you were going to push him away and shut your front door in his face. He didn’t know what was going to happen. He just wanted to see you. “Yeah. Definitely.”

You smile. “Great. But we have to stop for smoothie bowls on the way.”

JJ laughs. “No problem.”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward being alone with JJ after all this time. The two of you spent the car ride talking about the other Pogues and what they’ve been up to in the past couple of weeks. It was bittersweet talking about them because of how much you missed them, but you hoped that they would accept you back into their friend group after you explained to JJ why you’ve been so distant.

“Uh, Y/N.” JJ says when he parks the car.

“Yeah?”

“This is a cemetery.”

You can’t help but giggle at his apprehension. “I know. Come on.”

JJ carries the flowers and you carry the brown paper bag that holds your three smoothie bowls and a blanket. You lead him through the wet grass, past dozens of tomb stones until you find where your best friend peacefully lays.

JJ stays silent as he looks between you and the tombstone. The years etched onto the tombstone indicate that someone your age is buried here. He quickly puts the puzzle pieces together and tries to read your facial expression. Your sadly grinning at the tomb stone when you feel JJ’s eyes on the side of your face.

You lay the blanket down and offer half of it for him to sit next to you. He does but stays quiet, waiting for you to explain whenever you’re ready.

“This is Y/BFF’s/N,” You introduce her. “She was my best friend.” JJ nods and lets you continue as you stare at the tombstone. “She died a few weeks before we met.” You pull out the smoothie bowls and pass one to JJ and place the other one in front of the flowers placed by the grave. “Today’s her birthday and we had this tradition that we would get smoothie bowls every morning of our birthday.” You pop open the lid of your bowl and push around the berries laying on top with your spoon. “I know I owe you an explanation.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to...”

“Trust me,” You smile at him, “I do. She would kill me if I didn’t.”

You told JJ about the mental toll her death had on your life. Even with JJ by your side, you felt her missing presence heavily all day every day. It wasn’t that you weren’t happy in your relationship with JJ, it was just that something was missing and it was something you couldn’t bring back to your life. Because of her loss, you fell back into a depression you once experienced towards the end of your last relationship. You told JJ about the mental anguish your ex left you with and why you don’t feel comfortable opening yourself up to him, both physically and mentally. You promised it wasn’t because of JJ but because of your ex and the things he said to you. With your friend’s birthday coming up, everything was weighing you down mentally and you didn’t want to hinder JJ’s life any longer. You told him you thought breaking up with him was best for him so he didn’t have to deal with your problems and he can find a girl that makes him happy. You regret ever walking away from him that night. Your friend was your person, but now so is JJ. You want him to know everything about you. Good and bad. He deserves to know the truth.

“She would’ve liked you,” You brush your fallen tears away with the back of your hand. “You guys are alike in a lot of ways.”

“Yeah?” JJ smiles at you. “How?”

“She made me laugh and always pushed me past my comfort zone. She challenged me to do more with my life. And she never gave up on me,” You grin up at him. “I’m sorry for pushing you away.”

“You don’t have to be,” JJ says. “I get it. No one deserve to lose a friend like this. I don’t know what I would do if this happened to John B or Pope or even Kie.”

“I still love you, J. And I want to give you every part of me. I just...need some help opening up.”

JJ sets down his smoothie bowl and turns to face you. His hand caresses the side of your face and pushes your hair back behind your ear. “Hey....we can take it as slow as you want. I’m not going anywhere.”

You smile at him. “So, you wanna try this again?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

JJ leans in to kiss you on your lips. Butterflies erupt from your stomach and fireworks shoot across every nerve in your body. When you eventually pull away, you’re smiling because even when your best friend isn’t here to physically push you, she has her own way of getting into your head and making sure you don’t take the life you have in front of you for granted. And you couldn’t be more grateful for that.

Unbeknownst to you, your friend watches from a far with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. Slightly shaking her head, she says to you, “You’re gonna be just fine, chick.”

420 notes · View notes

missmentelle · 4 years ago

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Hope its alright to share a cringey situation! i knew a woman once that was constantly wondering why people stopped talking to her and it confused me at first cuz i had just met her and only just started becoming friends but it started to be all she talked about so i kept my distance and then asked her outright to give me some space with specific instructions, that she violated immediately! After repeating myself many times what i needed and her ignoring my boundaries i had to start blocking her. A YEAR later she still finds a new social media platform to reach out and ask why i stopped talking to her. I struggle with boundaries and this was the worst feeling ever. And recently it happened again where a person got way too close way too quick and wouldnt take a hint when i wouldnt answer their calls. They singled me out in a zoom graduation telling me to answer my phone. How do you deal with people that wont listen? Its just so embarrassing and it feels awful to say no so many times.... like my boundaries dont matter to them... which is why i stay running and the cycle continues! Hope you dont mind the rant you reblogged something similar and i dont know what the words are for this situation

I actually don’t think this is cringey at all - I think this is an important life skill.

Sooner or later, everyone has to deal with someone who comes on way too strong, doesn’t take hints, and generally makes it clear that they’re way more interested in you than you are in them. This can happen with friends, coworkers, romantic prospects, neighbours - pretty much anyone in your life. Sometimes, you can manage the situation by keeping the person at arm’s length and giving gentle reminders about boundaries whenever they start to push it. But sometimes, people push and push and push no matter how firm you are and how many reminders you give - and sometimes, this person’s refusal to back down can start to negatively affect your mental health or other relationships in your life.

The first thing you need to remember is that someone else’s refusal to take a hint is not your fault. Having someone disrupt a big event like a graduation to ask why you aren’t taking their calls is definitely embarrassing, but you aren’t the one who should feel embarrassed by that - they are the ones who crossed a line by confronting you in public to try to bully you into answering their calls, and they are the one who should feel embarrassed about that happening.

For what it’s worth, I have also been in this situation before, several times in my life. In high school, one of my classmates decided that we were “best friends”, even though I had no real interest in being more than just high school acquaintances. She religiously tracked when I was online to see if I was “ignoring her” (I was), she called my house so much that my parents got annoyed, and she had a tendency to show up at my house unannounced to “hang out”, even at 7am on a Saturday. In grad school, I matched with someone on a dating app who quickly became obsessed with me and couldn’t take a hint that I wasn’t interested - he created multiple social media accounts to harass me and sent messages saying he was going to show up at my campus to try to find me. Those were deeply unpleasant experiences for me; I felt like the “bad guy” for not returning their affection, and trying to explain to other people that “someone is completely obsessed with me” made me feel kind of self-centered, even though it was objectively true. It sucks.

I know that saying “no” to someone over and over again feels awful. I hate saying no to people, even at my own detriment - but sometimes, that’s what you need to do. You are not a bad person for putting your foot down when someone else is refusing to listen to you and is intruding on your life. You’ve already done everything that I would recommend you do in this situation - you started out nice, you reminded this person of your boundaries, you politely asked for space, you gave specific instructions for future interactions - and this person is not responding. You have done what you could, and it’s time to take a firmer stance here. You aren’t a bad person for having boundaries and wanting them to be respected - this person has had several chances to correct their behaviour, and they have chosen not to take them. That’s on them.

At this point, I think it’s okay for you to be frank with this person. Tell them straight up that you don’t want any kind of relationship with them and that you would like them to leave you alone. If that’s too direct for you, tell them that their behaviour is rude and that you are starting to feel harassed. I know that it’s hard to be that firm with someone, but sometimes this is what another person needs to hear - they need to be told, straight-up, that you’ve had enough of this and you’re done. Is it possible that the other person will see you as an asshole? Yes, in all likelihood, they probably will. But it’s important that you not take that personally - it is not your fault that this person’s repeated actions ended in predictable consequences for them. You are not a bad person because someone else is upset that they were called on their bad behaviour.

And if the person still isn’t taking the hint, sometimes the only option you have left is to cut them off entirely. Block their number, delete them from social media, and don’t respond to their attempts to get in contact with you. Being able to get in touch with someone is a privilege, not an absolute right, and when someone abuses that privilege, sometimes they lose it entirely. You aren’t ghosting the person - ghosting is when you duck out of someone’s life without even telling them what they’ve done wrong. You’ve told this person what they’re doing wrong, repeatedly, and it’s okay to take away their opportunity to keep doing it.

Having to get stern with an eager person who can’t take a hint is tough. Rejecting people is hard, and most of us hate doing it. But sometimes... you just have to. You aren’t obligated to give someone an 18th or 19th chance to respect your boundaries, and you don’t have to have a relationship with someone just because they really, really, really want you to. You have a right to decide who you want to be close to, and you should never feel bad about having to be frank with someone who is otherwise completely unwilling to respect your wishes. Best of luck to you, MM

#Anonymous #answeredbymm

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winetae · 5 years ago

Text

wall to wall (m.) 01

↳ in a pornographic movie, refers to a series of sex scenes with no plot.

⇁ female reader x hoseok

⇁ smut, porn star!au

⇁ sex work, insecurity, jealousy, slut shaming/objectification (not the sexy kind), role played scenario that includes: d/s dynamics - dom!hoseok, porn star level dirty talk, stuff that should never happen in a kitchen bc hygiene, daddy kink, impreg kink, rough sex, spanking, a lot of finger sucking, this fic is a poor attempt at social commentary

⇁ 22.5k

. . .

Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman. Your agent comes forward with a proposition to help put you back on the map.

↳ or, my contribution to the lights, camera, action collab : )

part 01 | part 02 | part 03

author’s note | inspired by the piece ‘slut-shaming: pornstars are humans too’ & the life after porn documentaries on netflix. thank u to jordan, eva, amy, venus, addie and lu for being a part of this collab !! *inserts a million heart emojis and a big fat NUT emoticon*

re:warnings, the slut shaming is done by others and can also be considered as internalized oppression. it’s something the reader struggles with and eventually works to overcome. this first part isn’t as smutty as the second but regardless i hope u can bear with me lol. ty, as always, for giving my writing a chance. i hope u enjoy it or at least take something from it !

wall2wall can be read as a sequel to my fic money shot. same disclaimer applies: this story does claim to accurately portray the world of adult entertainment

SCENE 01 - YOU’VE GOT MALE. TAKE 01. ROLL A.

Today is just one of those days you wish you had slept straight through. Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t be dying from the sheer dullness of having nothing to do.

You huff out a sigh, bored out of your goddamn mind.

Head cradled in the crook of your left palm, you use your available hand to refresh your instagram feed. Much to your disappointment, nothing new shows up. The same video of a dog chasing its own tail plays on but you pay it no heed, the novelty having worn off after the first few times.

The next half hour passes by in a similar fashion, each result proving to be as unavailing as the last. You’d think that after a while you’d give up and find a new distraction to pass the time but whether out of habit or boredom-induced insanity, you persist with your fruitless attempts.

Today really fucking blows, you think glumly, the curve of your mouth thinning into a grimace. As the adorable corgie keeps the infernal cycle going, yapping and running around incessantly, you’re struck with a terrifying thought. Maybe this is how you will die - condemned to live your life stuck in the worst sort of monotony imaginable.

What you had expected to be a “quick and easy” shoot has turned into a tedious ordeal that you don’t see ending anytime soon. And whilst on-set complications and prolongations are frequent enough that they’re almost expected, today really takes the cake. Even during your rookie days, you can’t recall running into delays of this scale.

To top it off, the weather app announces a record-breaking heat - which in itself is bad enough. As luck would have it, it gets worse. The place rented out for today’s filming lacks proper air conditioning, equipped instead with electric fans that look like they’ve been around since the 1980s.

A quick glance into the vanity mirror confirms that you look as frazzled as you feel. Because of the humidity level that weighs down the air, your hair is in a right state. You fight a grimace off your face. The straggly hair coupled with the oily sheen on your face...it’s far from your best look, to say the least.

And to think thousands of people will get to see it up close in 1080p resolution... It’s a terrifying concept.

You’re already dreading the upcoming sex scenes that you’ve yet to film. It’s always a messy affair - fluids of all kind end up literally everywhere - but the sweltering heat undoubtedly makes it ten times worse. A shudder works its way down your spine.

Frankly speaking, the mere thought of having hot and wild sex in these less than ideal working conditions kills your libido. Under the glaring studio lights, surrounded by sweaty crewmen and pressed up an equally feverish body - it’s basically the porn equivalent of a fuckin’ barbecue party.

Yeah, no thanks. You’d rather be at home, with the air conditioner at full blast, nestled in the comfy cushions of your sofa as you marathon a series of your choice on netflix. Only the promised sum of money keeps you from bolting and calling it quits altogether.

“So when are you gonna drop the new boy toy?” a voice buzzes in your ear not unlike a pesky fly.

Tempting as it is to ignore it, you peel your eyes away from your reflection just in time to catch Seokjin shoot you the most unimpressed look in his repertoire, one perfectly groomed eyebrow arched in judgment.

In the background, an old ceiling fan whirs on but does nothing to cool you off. If anything, its constant rattling only exacerbates your growing headache.

“What are you talking about?" You flick a piece of imaginary lint off your dressing robe, your tone neutral.

Seokjin’s brown eyes see right through your feigned air of indifference. Months of working by your side have made him an expert at reading your body language, be it naked or clothed. A wolfish grin adorns his face as he swoops in for the kill.

“Oh come on. You know exactly who I’m talking about. Jongmin. He’s short - comes up to right about here.” Seokjin holds a hand up to his chest to illustrate his point, deliberately shaving off a few inches off your boyfriend’s height in order to antagonize you.

You bite the inside of your cheek, careful not to spit out the retort that’s perched on the tip of your tongue. It takes a great deal of effort to unclench the muscles in your jaw but you manage to school your features into an expression of polite confusion.

Seokjin frowns, dissatisfied with your lack of response. You don’t need to be a mind reader to know that he’s currently thinking of new ways to provoke you.

When the silence stretches on and he’s yet to riposte, you allow yourself to relax again, believing that he’s given up on being an asshole.

To your chagrin, you’re sorely mistaken. The last of your self-restraint is finally put to the test as his next words do nothing to quell your irritation.

“Jongmin.” He repeats slowly, like you need it spelled out for you. “He follows you around everywhere like a lap dog. It’d be cute if it wasn’t so, you know, pathetic.”

“His name is Jimin,” you correct for the nth time.

Instantly, you reprimand yourself for playing into his games and granting him the attention he so craves. Fulfilling his twisted desire is the last thing you hope to achieve. Staying silent would be the sensible thing to do but your brain completely bypasses the memo. The moment your mouth opens it’s impossible to quash the urge to justify yourself.

Maybe it’s your pride coming into play. Maybe it’s Seokjin’s uncanny ability to get under anyone’s skin at will. Whatever the case may be, you stammer out, on the defensive, “And he’s not my 'boy toy'. We - it’s not - we’re dating.” But the word feels like a weight on your tongue. You swallow.

The statement earns you a scoff of incredulity. “Dating? Him?”

You finally set your phone down and aim a glare his way, abandoning all pretense at being indifferent because—Jesus. Is the idea of you dating that unfathomable? He’s never been this worked up over any of your other relationships. Granted, none of them have ever lasted this long but is it really any of his business who you choose to see in your free time?

“I don’t get what your problem is. What’s so wrong with me dating?”

“Have you seen who you’re dating?”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

While this isn’t the first time your agent lets a judgmental comment slip from between his pearly white teeth, it’s usually not laced with spite. Seokjin is never outright hostile, preferring sweet words of manipulation and thinly-veiled insults to shows of aggression. The attempt to get a rise out of you does not go by unnoticed. His anger, this time, feels personal.

You wrack your brain, quickly sifting through your recent memories to try and figure out why he’s chosen to be such an ass today. You’re certain that you’ve filled out all the necessary paperwork required to proceed with today’s filming, and yes, after thinking it over, you know that you went to the obligatory medical checkup last week. So there really is no reason for him to bitch at you unless—

The proverbial light bulb flickers on and it all suddenly makes sense.

You’re willing to bet a hefty sum of money that the high-paying gig you turned down two weekends ago is to blame for his abnormal crotchety behavior.

Yes, that would explain it.

Due to Seokjin's well-known propensity to hold a grudge for longer than average, the odds that he’s still hung up over the lost deal are pretty high. And as much as his disappointment and frustration are understandable from a business standpoint, you don’t appreciate being used as a verbal punching bag for him to expel all those pent-up feelings.

Seokjin hums, a knowing smirk pulling the sides of his mouth upwards. Fleetingly, and not for the first time, you find it a shame that his cockiness tarnishes his otherwise handsome face. “I give it another couple of days until you get bored. How long has this gone on for? A month? How are you not yanking out your hair from the sheer boredom of dating...that."

A muscle in your jaw ticks.

“He’s not Voldemort, you coward. Would it honestly kill you to say his name?” Seokjin’s expression begs to differ. You cut him off before he can add fuel to the fire. “And I won’t get bored. Jimin’s - he’s a perfectly nice guy. We’ve been seeing each other just fine—not that it’s any of your concern.”

“Yes, he’s nice,” Seokjin concedes easily, brushing off any attempts at putting an end to the conversation. He grins, wide and smug, like he knows you can’t refute what he’ll say next. “Perfectly nice and boring. The kind of guy you’d bring back home if your parents were straight-laced folks that wanted to marry you off to a choir boy. Seriously, how the fuck did a guy like him end up in the porn industry? He belongs in a church or, I dunno, maybe some neighborhood book club - not behind a camera filming you getting flogged by a daddy dom.”

You sniff. “Just because he tucks his shirts in doesn’t—”

“It’s not just the shirts, honey.” He leans over to pat your hand in a gesture of consolation. Used to his antics, his attempt is easily blocked by a swat of your hand.

You muster the dirtiest look you’re capable of, the kind of look that sends men to early graves, but he simply smiles in response, completely unfazed.

Any person with the minimum amount of tact would know to politely change the subject. It’s unfortunate that your agent does not belong to that pool of individuals, choosing instead to be selectively blind to overt social cues.

He continues on, unperturbed, like he has a point to prove. “Believe it or not, I know you. Sometimes, for whatever reason, perhaps a lapse in judgement but who the fuck knows, you like to venture out of your comfort zone and experiment. Like with the chickenshit gingerbread spice concoctions they come out with at Starbucks to celebrate turkey season and Christmas or the cream cheese makis they make for the white crowd who want to eat sushi but don’t like anything other than white rice and seaweed. And, trust me, while I’m all for diversity and broadening your personal experiences, don’t you think there’s a reason why you always go back to your preferred choice of an iced latte with two sugars?”

“Did you just compare Jimin to a gingerbread latte?”

Okay, so admittedly you’ve made some questionable food and beverage choices in the past, but the comparison is a fucking reach.

“You’re absolutely right." Seokjin gives a firm nod of his head, his expression serious. "Now that you mention it, he’s definitely a vanilla soy. Bland and boring. Targeted towards the middle-aged soccer moms that think veganism is a trend, not a lifestyle. Wants to be a people-pleaser but misses the mark.”

“I didn’t know it was Share Your Unwanted Opinion Time,” you grind out from behind a strained smile. “If I had, I would have said something about your receding hairline earlier.”

It’s a low blow but the way Seokjin’s plump lips curl in displeasure makes the dig worth it. One of his hands automatically shoot up to flatten the bangs that are usually slicked back with copious amounts of gel.

Offended, he spits, “It’s not receding! There’s a difference between premature balding and a bleach job gone wrong.”

"I'm not sure people care to differentiate. Looks like a receding hairline to me." You shrug while picking at your nails. “You’re nearing that age, too, so.”

“You just try looking this good at 30. Fucking try.”

He waits for a reply but your interest has already waned. You scroll through your phone, bored once more.

Seokjin makes a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat at the clear dismissal. You swear you hear him grumble under his breath - something along the lines of never going blonde again - but can’t find it in you to care, not when he’s finally ceased his nagging.

"Filming in twenty!" someone shouts from outside the door.

"They’re running behind schedule," Seokjin notes after glancing down at his gold wristwatch. "How can they take more than an hour to fix the lighting? Tch. Bunch of fuckin’ amateurs."

He aims a glare in your direction as if their incompetence is somehow your fault.

You have half a mind to glower back but miraculously withhold your sentiments. Admittedly, he isn’t wrong - the team you’re working with today keeps committing blunders even rookies wouldn’t dare perpetrate - but you’d rather get your driving license revoked forever than to acknowledge that Seokjin’s right and inflate his already unnaturally huge ego.

Something heavy plops into your lap. When you look down, the glossy surface of a magazine reflects the harsh lights suspended over the vanity table back at you.

“I didn’t want to resort to this but you leave me no choice,” he says in response to your look of confusion.

“What’s this?”

You hold up the magazine expecting the worst. It’s heavy in your hands, the pages thicker than the gossip rags you’d find in a dentist’s waiting room.

“’s the newest issue. Came out this morning. I’d actually like it back once you’re done because I haven’t finished reading it and God knows how hard it was to get my—hey, you can stop flicking aimlessly, I saved you the trouble and bookmarked the page,” Seokjin explains a bit impatiently.

When you shoot him a glance, his attention is trained on your face, not the magazine. He barely blinks. Like a snake honing in on its prey. And that kind of intense focus - that can’t be good. After all, you’ve known Seokjin long enough to suspect that whatever trick he has up his sleeve will give him the advantage he needs to deliver the killing blow.

Gingerly, you flip through the pages like you’re afraid the magazine might self-destruct in your hands. Which would be a waste, in your opinion, since Exquis is a damn good magazine - perhaps less intellectual than Playboy, but definitely classier than Hustler. Its reputation speaks for itself. Known for hiring the best photographers and carefully combing through their models, it’s selective, only picking the cream of the cr—

Everything around you stills.

Your eyes narrow at the spread because there, on the page Seokjin’s taken great care to bookmark, a model poses provocatively on a lounge chaise near a crystal clear pool. It’s similar to a shoot you’ve done in the past but you can tell right away that the quality of this is above and beyond anything you’ve ever done. The lighting is better, heck even the barely-there-swimsuit looks like it costs ten times more than whatever you had been told to throw on at the time.

The vexation you feel only worsens once it finally registers who the model is. Her youthful and pretty face carries a permanent haughtiness that not even makeup or acting can entirely mask.

The pages crease in your hold as you flick through the rest of the spread dedicated to the up and coming talents. With every new page that has her plastered on its glossy surface you feel your stomach sink.

2...3...4...

“Five pages,” you curse under your breath. For a magazine this renowned, it’s...a lot. Commendable, even. Your nose crinkles. “Well, fuck. me. sideways.”

Seokjin gloats, reveling in your outrage. “Hmph. I told you, didn’t I? Passing up the opportunity to work with Kim Namjoon would come and bite you in the ass.”

“Aha! So you have been a little bitch because I refused to shoot with Namjoon.” You whirl around in your chair and use the magazine to jab him in the chest. He easily steps aside, avoiding your attempt at wrinkling his trademark Armani button-down shirt.

“It was the chance of a lifetime and you knew it.” He turns his nose up and sniffs.

“That’s what you said about filming with Min Yoongi last month.” You roll your eyes. “I can’t take you seriously if you’re gonna say the same thing every time a new guy shows up.”

“Shooting with Agust D did help you gain some mainstream popularity. You’ve gotten love calls for catalog printings and your name is now automatically on the invite sheet for every C-list event in town. Namjoon would have given you another needed boost.” Seokjin folds his arms, lecturing mode switched on. You struggle with the instinctive urge to tune him out. “Sure, he’s got a niche audience, but he’s famous in his field and it would have helped expand your fa—“

“Not to kink shame or anything because we don’t do that, but Namjoon is a freak. And don’t deny it, I’ve seen his videos.”

“He’s specialized in particular—“

“You were the one telling me not to film all sorts of shit right off the bat,” you cut in, refusing to back down from your stance. There’s no way you’ll let him sweet-talk you out of this one, not after the multiple videos of Namjoon you’d binged one weekend. “Stick to one story.”

“Well, we’re not exactly ‘right off the bat’ anymore, are we? We’ve passed that stage. Right now is a crucial time in your career so you’ve got to make it count. Filming rehashed videos of the same pizza delivery guy scenario gets boring and fast. As pretty as you are, you’re not offering anything new to the table, are you?”

Fuck him. He’s right and you know it. Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman.

Still. “I refuse to work with a guy whose porn alias is Cock Monster.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Well I said no,” you insist stubbornly.

“Well if you had said yes, maybe it would be your ass cheeks getting their own two page spread in Exquis instead,” jabs Seokjin, hitting you where it hurts.

Ugh. The reminder that Joy’s bested you yet again riles you up even more. That, coupled with the likelihood of your career ending imminently, makes you stop and think.

Your agent goes on to say, “Don’t you want the AVN for best newcomer? Where did that competitive edge go? At the rate this is going, Joy’s going to steal it from right under your nose.”

“Like fucking hell,” you hiss. The magazine bends under the strength of your grip. “That one’s mine.”

You absolutely refuse to lose out to her. Every fiber of your being rejects the idea of letting her one-up you again.

“Not if you don’t start branching out. The last time you did anything substantial or interesting was about a month ago. It’s already old news. People are going to forget you shot that sequence altogether if you don’t do anything that puts you back on the map.”

A pause. “…I really don’t want to film with someone who willingly named himself Cock Mons—”

“Fine.” Seokjin heaves a resigned sigh. “You don’t have to fuck the monster willy. Willy monster? Hm. Wouldn’t it make more sense to name himself Monster Cock and not Cock Monster? Wonder why he does th—”

You suppress a snort. “Please spare me while you can. It’s amazing, that talent for making everything sound a lot worse than it already it is.”

“Why, thank you.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“You trying to insult someone who’s willing to find you someone else to work with? I can always ask Monster Meatstick if he’s up for—”

“No! No, that’s - not necessary.” You force out a smile that wouldn’t fool anyone into thinking its genuine. “Why would I ever insult you? You’re the best agent one could ask for.”

“That’s what I thought.” He takes your compliment, forced or not. When he smiles, smugness rolls off of him in waves. “One day you’ll realize you’re taking my talent for granted. I’ll find you another onscreen partner even though you don’t know what you’re missing out.”

“Thank you.”

“But!” He interjects and this time you don’t bother swallowing down your groan, already dreading the stipulations he has in store for you. “You have to promise to hold up your end of the bargain and try your best.”

Indignation colors your face. Your mouth falls open, retort at the ready. “When do I ever slack off on the job?! I’ve never given a half-assed blowjob in my life - and trust me, the temptation was there. Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay focused when the guy can’t cum on command? I once had to get my jaw realigned.”

“I’m not saying you’re slacking off,” he backtracks, switching tactics. His expression is soon replaced by the business-like smile you’re used to seeing on the regular. Tone buttery and appeasing, he tries to convince you through flattery instead. “You work hard and do a good job… I wouldn’t have signed you on otherwise. The problem isn’t with the quality of your work but with - all the rest.”

“The rest?” you parrot back dumbly, trying and failing to comprehend.

Seokjin scowl returns, unable to keep his genuine emotions under wraps.

“D’you honestly think you’re at a point in your career where you can pick and choose your jobs like this? Ever since you started dating that - that thing - your workload has significantly decreased. And not because you lacked opportunities. You had them but you turned them all down.” Visibly getting worked up over the issue, his voice rises an octave, then two. “What should’ve been a good spring board, only brought you back to square one. I know I can’t force you to take jobs if you refuse to, but I can say that your potential is going to waste. I’ve never seen someone sabotage herself like this before and it’s driving me up the wall. While I get that you’re under the delusion that you’ve found true love or whatever Disney fantasy Jungmin has sold you, you can’t turn down projects over and over again without there being serious repercussions. You’re smart enough to know this. I shouldn’t have to remind you.”

Seokjin’s chest heaves as he takes in several big gulps of air, visibly out of breath after his monologue.

For him to explode like popcorn kennels in the microwave... You reckon he’d let his feelings pile up inside him for a while, silently stewing.

You’ve never seen your agent look so visibly distressed. He’s normally the picture-perfect image of composure so the sight that greets you is enough of a shock to render you speechless.

Deep down, Seokjin probably means well. There aren’t a lot of agents like him; you’re one of the lucky ones. Most girls are discarded by their agencies as quickly as used tissues once they get milked for all their worth.

Thankfully it’s never been that way with Seokjin. He claims that he’s in it for the long run. According to him the quick buck isn’t worth seeing the light die out in girl after girl. Perhaps that’s why he takes the task of ensuring your safety so seriously. How many times has he warned you to steer clear of this or that seedy director or ban you from attending drug-heavy parties? While his behavior can come off as overbearing on the worst days, at least he cares.

Sadly, it’s more than you can say for most.

In a way, he’s the only one in this business rooting for your success—if only because his paycheck depends on how well you perform. You like to pretend there’s more to it than that.

“I’m not - what’s Jimin got to do with any of this?” you splutter, still digesting the long tirade you’ve just been subjected to.

“Are you serious? That’s all you got from what I said?”

“Well, no, but I still fail to—”

“Do you think me a fool?” He crosses his arms tightly across his broad chest. “The only scenes you’re willing to shoot are when he’s on set. Are you a kid or something? Since when do you need supervision to shoot a sex scene?”

“N-no. It just worked out that way, okay?” In reply to his dubious expression, you force yourself to explain. “Okay, okay - I get it. Maybe I might’ve lessened my workload recently but it has nothing to do with Jimin, alright? My vagina needs rest from time to time. Just because it’s my job doesn’t mean I don’t need a break. I’m human too, not some blow-up doll.”

“You expect me to believe that he has nothing to do with it? You were perfectly fine before he entered the picture. And now that you’re all loved up you only pick—”

A knock, so timid you barely catch it, cuts off the rest of his sentence.

“Yeah? Come in, I’m decent!” you yell - not that you care whether someone sees you naked or not. The concept of modesty has long been lost on you. Some might call it shamelessness or vanity, but you take pride in how you look. And why wouldn’t you? Your body is your bread and butter. You spend hours in the gym every week so that your ass looks good no matter what camera angle.

“It’s me.”

The door opens a crack and the speaker tentatively sticks his mop of hair through the small opening. As soon as you recognize him, your heart leaps at the sight and you quickly tighten your robe together.

“Oh, speak of the devil,” Seokjin mutters under his breath.

You resist the urge to throttle him and plaster on your brightest smile instead.

“I wanted to see how you were doing. Sorry I took so long... I would’ve come earlier but they needed my help.” Jimin scratches a spot behind his ear, sheepish. “Someone tripped over the cables and smashed a camera lens so we had to find a replacement. The director threw a fit and wanted to call it quits so we’ve been trying to calm him down this entire time. He did - eventually, anyway, after he called his dealer on set.”

A disapproving frown tugs at his mouth corners and mars his otherwise perfect appearance.

You take a moment to swoon internally. You’ll never get tired of admiring your boyfriend. Unlike the majority of the on-set personnel, he doesn’t reek of weed or booze or stale cigarette smoke. His ironed clothes and immaculate appearance always make it easy to spot him amidst the hungover crew.

“That’s fine! I kept myself busy.”

Jimin returns your smile, his eyes creasing into beautiful half-moon crescents. You don’t know what kind of love-struck expression covers your face but next to you Seokjin makes a noise that sounds like a cross between a gag and a cough.

“Oh! Here, I brought snacks. I didn’t know what you liked so I just grabbed everything I could get my hands on.” He holds up a paper plate stacked with treats no doubt stolen from the catering service. “I know I kind of went overboard but I wanted to make sure you kept your sugar level up.”

“That’s sweet of you,” you coo, reaching to take the plate from him. He’s piled on the sweets so high that it’s a miracle nothing has toppled over yet. You aren’t especially hungry but take a bite out of a chocolate candy to show how much you appreciate the effort. Its gooey consistency melts on your tongue, the taste so sweet it sticks to your teeth.

“How adorable,” chimes in Seokjin, his hand grabbing a licorice stick from the mountain of candy before you can swat him away. “Thanks Jongmin.”

“Jimin,” he corrects good-naturedly, his smile not budging an inch. You think, privately, that’s what you like the most about him. Not many have the ability to block out Seokjin’s bullshit so effectively.

“Mmh,” your manager says around a mouthful of candy. “Seokjin. Pleasure.”

You elbow him while gritting your teeth. “Can you...give us a moment?”

Seokjin swallows down the treat and opens his mouth in protest. He has the audacity to look betrayed. “You’re kicking me out of our room so the two of you can get it on? Really?”

Jimin’s cheeks flush and you quickly cut in before your agent can make matters worse.

"I just want to talk without you breathing down my neck. Weren’t you going off earlier about how I didn’t need adult supervision anymore? Well?”

“Fine. Fine! But you owe me. Again.” He grabs his portable phone charger from the vanity table before making his exit. “And don’t forget what we talked about!”

What a fucking drama queen. You have no idea why he always insists on making a scene when you know for a fact that he would’ve left of his own volition in five minutes anyway. For reasons he has no trouble disclosing, he can’t stand Jimin’s presence.

“I won’t,” you grumble just so that you can get him out of your hair faster.

The door slams shut with more force than strictly necessary. Silence hangs in the air for a brief moment before Jimin turns his warm gaze towards you.

“What was that about?”

“Uh, nothing. You know how he is...” You play with the ends of your braided hair. “He can’t go very long without throwing a tantrum.’

“He seems very protective of you,” remarks Jimin, a thoughtful expression painting his angelic face. “I think that’s why he’s not that fond of me.”

“Nonsense,” you rebut immediately as you take his hands in yours. “Who could ever not like you?”

Jimin allows his lips to quirk into a small, self-deprecating smile that you promptly erase with a kiss. His lips feel pillow-soft against yours, and you let yoruself indulge in the feeling before pulling back.

You sigh, remembering the scene you’ve yet to film. “If only my co-star was you.”

He laughs at that. “Seokjin would probably throw a fit, huh?”

Jimin treats you to dinner that night.

He chooses the restaurant. It’s a small, quaint place, tucked into a hidden corner just minutes away from the bustling main street of the shopping district. It’s not the kind of place people stumble across by accident but judging by the occupied tables, business is doing fine by reputation alone.

The owner comes out to greet Jimin by name. They exchange warm greetings, the woman asking him how his brother’s been doing and whether he’ll stop by anytime soon.

“Ah - I’m not sure... You know how he is... I’ll let him know you said hi.”

“Tell him I’ll give him an extra serving of ribs. That was his favorite, right?”

When her eyes trail over Jimin’s shoulder and spot you, she grins so wide you’d think she won the lottery or something. “Park Jimin! You’ve gone and found a girlfriend! And so pretty, too. Ah, really...time sure flies by. I remember when you first started coming here - and now!”

You smile back, greeting her with a polite handshake. The owner is quick to usher you into a small booth in the back. She hands you the menus while patting Jimin on his shoulder. “I’ll get you drinks. It’s on the house.”

“You don’t have to do that!” protests Jimin, shaking his head. “Really. It’s not—”

“Nonsense.” She waves a hand at him. “You’ll get two more if you keep that up, Park Jimin.”

Once she knows she’s earned Jimin’s compliance, she leaves with a satisfied smile. You can tell by their genuine interactions that she’s close to Jimin. Family, perhaps? Either way, this isn’t a place Jimin tracked down on yelp. He flips through the menu with ease, like he’s done it hundreds of times before.

“Sorry about that,” he says once she’s out of earshot. “I used to come here all the time with my family when we all still lived here. They moved and live in a different town now so we haven’t had a meal together here in years, but. I still come here. The food is good, of course, but - I dunno. I have good memories here so I thought I’d share it with you. It sounds stupid now.”

He laughs quietly, cheeks flushed a pretty pink.

“I love it.” You can’t help but smile, cheeks hurting from the force of it. Invisible liquor runs through your bloodstream, a ball of warmth unfurling in your belly. “Thank you.”

A pause ensues. It’s one of those moments in which you’re unsure if you’ve said too much or not enough. Being here with Jimin means a lot. You’re not the most verbose person but you hope that Jimin can feel your sincerity.

Maybe your stare comes off as too intense because Jimin breaks the eye contact and clears his throat.

He fiddles with his earring and says, “The food is really good!”

Pink dots his cheeks as he attempts to change the subject. “I don’t know how long the place has been around for but the food is exactly the same. Apparently it’s the sauce they use? Auntie still won’t share the recipes with me and I’ve known her since I was a kid.”

He chatters on, gaining confidence when he notices you’re not put off or bored by his numerous anecdotes. As time passes by, he’s visibly more relaxed. His laugh is more natural, less restrained, like he’s using all the muscles in his face and not just the ones near his mouth.

It’s a stark difference from the first date, you think. Back then he had come off as quite shy, preferring to let you lead the conversation, only offering up tidbits from time to time. Now the conversation flows easily. Nothing feels forced or awkward and - it’s nice. The normalcy of it. Like a hot cup of tea before bed or the scent of the fabric softener your mother uses. It’s something you find comfort in, that you can see yourself coming back to and not growing tired of.

Seokjin can say what he wants - that Jimin’s too uninteresting, that you’re too mismatched of a couple - whatever.

Jimin likes you for you.

When you’re out on dates or when the two of you talk on the phone late into the evening, he rarely brings up your job. Instead, he asks you questions about your favorite TV shows, your dipping sauce preferences, the first album you purchased. These small details might seem inconsequential to others but to you, they’re a welcome breath of fresh air.

For all the talks of Jimin being too average and too normal, men like him are in reality surprisingly hard to come by.

Because what you haven’t failed to notice since you began your career as a porn star is that people love the idea of you. People who avidly watch you from their laptop screen in the comfort of their own home think that you’re some type of sex goddess - that you’re basically up for anything. In their minds, you’re a fun girl who loves sex, all kinds of sex, any kind of sex, and who doesn’t have any qualities or attributes other than making people cum until their limbs go numb.

Your feelings? Not really important. Feelings would make you human and being human would ruin their favorite fantasy.

That’s what takes you a while to learn - you don’t get paid to have sex, you get paid to sell dreams.

It doesn’t bother you at first. In a way, you think, it’s like acting. The porn star people jerk off to daily is a character you play, a mask you can take off at your leisure once the camera director yells ‘cut!’.

Very quickly, you learn people don’t share the same sentiment. To them, the line that distinguishes you from your job persona isn’t blurry - it simply doesn’t exist.

In the beginning, you’d stayed optimistic. Once people get to know you past the image they’ve built up in their heads, surely they’ll realize you’re not a sex-craved addict who only has dick on the brain, right? But with every new date you accept to go on, the reality of your situation only leaves room for disappointment and barely reigned in revulsion.

Even in non-romantic situations, people let you down. Old classmates, neighbors... It pisses you off that they assume you have no self-worth just because you’re a sex worker. Stevie from 308 down the hall once tried throwing crumpled bills at you, expecting you to crawl over to him for a fifty. The memory is enough to set your blood boiling. You can’t wait until you earn big enough bucks to move out of your shitty apartment into a nice high-rise penthouse, away and above all the scum of the Earth.

“You okay?” asks Jimin, noticing the crease that burrows your brow. “The food alright?”

You blink several times, belatedly realizing you had zoned out. Guilt and embarrassment well up within you.

“M’yeah,” you swallow down the spoonful of stew stuffed in your mouth. “Sorry.”

Jimin chews his bottom lip. Finally, he settles with, “Tell me if I’m boring you.”

“No, no! You’re not.” His evident doubt does nothing to alleviate the sudden nausea swarming your lower belly. “I’m serious, Jimin. I’m - Sorry if I gave off that impression. I just - I have a lot on my mind but you’re lovely. I’d tell you if you were - you know. Promise.”

“Would you? Sometimes I think you’re too nice.” It’s not delivered as an insult, but it doesn’t exactly sound like praise, either.

You force out a snort. “Heh. Wish you’d tell Seokjin that.”

“He’s not too cross with me, is he?” Jimin’s expression looks awkward, like he’s forcing his facial muscles to stay relaxed and mien nonchalant.

“Wh- oh, you mean because of earlier? He isn’t. That’s not him being angry. It’s not even you. It’s me. We just have - a slight difference in opinions, I suppose. If you can even call it that.”

“He doesn’t want you to date me,” concludes Jimin.

The frustrations you’d repressed earlier in the day come back. Why does Seokjin’s opinion matter? You huff, putting your spoon down.

“He’s not my dad. And even if he was, I’m grown. I can make my own decisions.” You roll your eyes. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll get over it... It’s not like it’s any of his business in the first place.”

“Still...” Jimin says, unsure. “He’s your agent. I wouldn’t want the relation between you to sour because of me.”

“Honestly, I’m convinced it’s not even you he has a problem with. We talked about it today and I think he’s getting antsy because, um, you know, I haven’t accepted any big offers lately. Like, I’m staying too much in my comfort zone or something. He says that in the long run that can be detrimental to my career.”

It’s a bit strange, discussing your work with Jimin. You both work in the same industry, Jimin as a second camera assistant and you as an adult entertainer, but outside of filming sets, you rarely acknowledge what the other person does for a living.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He wants me to branch out and try new things.”

“What, you mean anal? Gangbangs?”

“Um, yeah. All that, probably...” You have to blink several times because of the shock of hearing Jimin say that so casually. “...Is that okay?”

“Huh?” Jimin in turn blinks at you, like your question doesn’t properly register. “Oh, yeah, sure. I’m fine with it. You said it’ll be good for your career?”

“Apparently.”

“Then, yeah.” He shrugs like he isn’t bothered by the news at all. “Of course that’s okay.”

A part of you wants to push the issue, ask him why he’d be fine with his girlfriend filming intense sex scenes with random men, but that inner voice is snuffed out before the poisonous thought has time to take root.

Isn’t this what you always wanted? A boyfriend who is accepting and understanding of your profession?

You wash down your worries with a gulp or two of soju, determined not to let your own insecurities ruin the rest of your night.

Less than 24 hours after you’ve agreed to work on a worthwhile project of Seokjin’s choosing, a slew of texts blow up your phone.

Unsurprisingly, it’s your agent. A quick scroll through your phone reveals that your agent has left you with no less than 15 messages, 1 voicemail, and 3 e-mails.

It’s...a lot. You’ve grown to expect that kind of fanfare with him. Like any man who deals with legally binding contracts on a daily basis, Seokjin ensures that you keep your word. He can be extremely persuasive when he sets his mind to it. You’ve seen men and women alike succumb to the force of his magnetism. Back when your filmography had solely consisted of amateur sex tapes shot in bad lighting with low-grade filming equipment, Seokjin's charms alone had been sufficient to win over lukewarm casting directors and book you jobs.

SEOKJIN : hey!!!!!!!!

SEOKJIN : ???

SEOKJIN : wow. you’re leaving me on read.........the audacity.

SEOKJIN : i raised you on my back and this is how you repay me?

SEOKJIN : do you not respect your elders in your household?

SEOKJIN : i swear if you’re blowing me off for jimmy instead of answering your calls .........

SEOKJIN : or blowing jimmy. either one.

SEOKJIN : ok it’s been 10 min. i’m chill but not that chill.

SEOKJIN : can you please stop sucking dick and read your emails. it’s important.

YOU : ever heard of multitasking? god gave us two hands for a reason

SEOKJIN : oh. nasty.

SEOKJIN : way to ruin my lunch.

SEOKJIN : well. suck down that nut sauce asap

SEOKJIN : cos what i sent you needs your undivided attention

YOU : i’m nasty?? me????

YOU : you don’t hear me saying nUT SAUCE you freak

SEOKJIN : nutté sauce

SEOKJIN : there. fixed it.

YOU : ...that’s not even a thing

SEOKJIN : well it should be!

SEOKJIN : adding accents makes it instantly classier, don’t you think? nutté sauce. has a nice ring to it.

SEOKJIN : honestly. sounds like some fancy four star french starter now.

YOU : ???? it absolutely doesn’t but ok

SEOKJIN : imagine. during a scene you just yell out

SEOKJIN : “i’d like a serving of your nutté sauce to go”

YOU : dicks would shrivel up on the spot

SEOKJIN : what? i think it’s brilliant!

SEOKJIN : my talent is wasted as an agent. should’ve been a scriptwriter instead.

YOU : yes i’m sure the oscars are weeping over the missed opportunity

He takes your sarcasm at face value, feeding you more ridiculous variants of faux french cum lingo—that which you very wisely choose not to reply to. Instead of humoring him, you open the .pdf file he’s sent your way, ignoring the near-constant buzzing of your phone as he’s no doubt pestering you for an immediate answer.

Had it not been necessary for business, you’d have blocked his number ages ago. In fact, after that nut sauce comment you’re seriously reconsidering, business obligations be damned.

To his credit, the film project he suggests you work on doesn't sound half-bad despite its questionable title. Why anyone would choose to name it THE SPERMINATOR is beyond you.

As you read through the proposition, you’re surprised to find it’s tamer than the initial imaginary scenario you’d played out in your head. Expecting to read through a long list of unnameable kinks and dicks, the scene description is rather domestic all things considered.

Your shoulders sag in relief. You enjoy sex as much as the next person, but even you have limits you’re not willing or eager to cross. You’re a human being, first and foremost, and, contrary to popular belief, not competing in the sex olympics.

From what you’ve read so far, nothing in Seokjin’s offer seems too strenuous or perverse. The scene in question is centered around a young, newly married couple trying to conceive for the first time and the sex acts are described as “romantic insemination” - whatever the fuck that means. The only complication you can think of is that you’ve never played the part of a married couple before. None of your previous films specifically target couples or women. Is romance something you can sell accordingly?

You’re quick to shake the concern off once you remember that no one cares if your acting is shit or not. All you probably have to do is yell out ‘Daddy’ a few times mid-thrust and call it a day.

Honestly, you’re a bit disappointed in Seokjin for choosing such a safe, no-risk project - especially since he constantly advocates the risk-return trade off as the way to live by. But you’re not about to start complaining. You’d rather shoot this type of innocuous scenario than ridiculous, hentai-like scenes involving freakish get-ups and toys of monster proportions not realistically made to fit in a vagina.

The deal is perfect. Almost too perfect.

Subconsciously, you must realize something is wrong. Maybe Seokjin’s many lessons have finally rubbed off on you because there’s a persistent voice in your ear warning you that the film proposition is a trap, one that you’ve unfortunately walked straight into.

Your wariness increases when he refuses to send you the script upon request. Alarm bells ring off but by then it’s too late.

“The thing is... Director Ryu wants to try a new type of project," Seokjin says over the phone once you call him up for answers. "He thinks he’s going to pioneer a new genre of porn and revolutionize the industry - his words, not mine.”

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“How do I explain this without you getting the wrong idea..."

“Is this meant to reassure me?!” Dread drips from your tone. You should’ve suspected something was off from the very moment Seokjin suggested to shoot vanilla porn as your next big project. What a joke.

“Calm down, it's not as bad as - whatever you're thinking.” Too bad that his attempts to calm you down have the opposite effect. “He’s been wanting to try out a new improvisation format for his porn movies.”

“Come again?”

A beat of uncomfortable quiet passes. Reluctantly, Seokjin explains, “Which means - there isn’t an actual script to go off of. That’s why I couldn’t send it to you - because there is none. He wants it to be as realistic and natural as possible so he’s looking for actors who can go with their gut and create their own scenario instead of ones who need to be directed.”

Your resounding silence speaks for itself.

Sure, sometimes they provide scripts to act as guidelines, roughly giving the actor an idea of how the scene will unfold, but no one is expected to follow it word for word. Most porn films rely on improvisation rather than scripts because of how notoriously bad porn stars are at acting and memorizing more than a few lines at a time, and the introduction scene never lasts very long anyway for it to make a noticeable difference. Besides, after filming a handful of movies, you’ve noticed the dialogue is more or less all the same.

What bothers you is that this director wants you to carry out a movie that relies heavily on improvised dialogue. Convincingly.

“C’mon,” Seokjin tries when you refuse to deign him with an answer. “It’ll be fun. You like acting, right?”

“Seokjin...” You pinch the bridge of your nose and try to keep your composure in check. “How do I break this down for you? I think you’re forgetting the most crucial detail here - I can’t act! The closest I've ever gotten to acting is faking an orgasm and I’m pretty certain that doesn’t count."

“And you do that very well!" says Seokjin encouragingly. "You'll be fine. Don’t stress over it. Your scenes with Min Yoongi last time were perfectly acceptable!”

“That’s the thing.” Stress makes your voice raise a half-step. “He did, like, 90% of the acting! Back then, all I had to do was moan and act like a slut! Which hardly counts - I was being myself. Whatever this - thing - you’re attempting to rope me into - I’m not qualified for it.”

“Sweetheart, we’re not aiming for the fucking Oscars here.” When he laughs, it’s practiced enough to sound sincere. “At the end of the day, it’s still porn. Nobody’s expecting you to be the next Meryl. And besides,” he presses on, clearly refusing to change his mind. “This is exactly what you need right now. Something fresh, something new. If you pull this off, you’ll gain exposure.”

“If I pull it off. Big if."

“I know it sounds like a gamble. I get it, I do. But remember what I always say? High risk—”

“Yes, yes. High reward. I get it.” Your frown deepens. “There’s no way to know this will work, though.”

“A good co-star already guarantees you half of the success. And luckily for you, the guy they signed on seems like the real deal. He’s hot, you’re hot. People will pay money to see you two fuck regardless of how good or bad the acting is.”

“Well. That’s reassuring,” you say, voice as flat as a board. “Although I suppose watching porn on mute is always an option if it comes to that.”

“It was a joke!” What worries you is that it doesn’t sound like it is. “You have nothing to worry about. I’ve seen some of your co-star’s tapes. He’s got a mouth on him, if you know what I mean. Just let him lead and it’ll go swimmingly.”

“It’s one thing to follow someone’s lead during sex but you want me to - to improvise for God knows how long! That’s just asking for a disaster to happen.”

“You said you were up for a challenge!” Seokjin throws your words back at you, his tone accusing.

“And you said this would be beneficial for my career! How is making a fool out of myself going to help me any? I don’t want to be remembered as the girl who can’t act to save her life.” You want to cry in frustration. If you had wanted to act you would’ve chosen that as your major in college. “I don’t - I can’t do this. I’m not - this isn’t what I signed up for! How do you expect me to convince viewers what they’re watching is real...”

“Just—” Exasperated, he takes a deep breath. Exhales. “Trust me. When have I ever been wrong about film projects.”

Is putting your career at risk really worth it? You’re not sure anymore.

On the bright side, it’ll finally get Seokjin off your back, you reason, trying to remain positive. That in itself is worth celebrating, right?

Fine. You’ll agree to it out of pettiness. Once Seokjin realizes what a terrible idea this entire ordeal is, you won’t hesitate to rub it back in his face. He’ll never hear the end of it.

"Who am I working with, anyway?”

"Ah, hm, well." Hesitation creeps up his voice for the first time, putting you instantly on edge. "...You won't know him. He's new to the scene - got started a month or two ago, I forget."

"Great. Not only am I being used as a lab rat for this director to experiment on but you're also pairing me with a fucking rookie. Jesus.”

"He’s not half bad! He’s not bad at all, actually. I wouldn't be insisting if I didn't trust him not to blow his load early."

"Aren’t I lucky,” you deadpan. “So I don't have to worry about him busting a nut before the director gives the signal?"

“All you’ll have to do is act like a married couple with baby fever,” he talks over you, ignoring your overflowing sarcasm. “And how hard can that be? You’ve been loved up with Jumin for a month now - that’s plenty enough practice if you ask me. I know you’ll be able to sell that romantic shit to the public without too much trouble.”

“It’s Jimin,” you correct from force of habit.

You’re promptly ignored — not that you expected anything less from him.

"Just give it a thought? And get back to me when you make up your mind. The sooner the better. The offer won't stay on the table forever." Even over the line, you can picture Seokjin raising his eyebrows at you, expectant. “If you’re serious about this job, you know what you have to do.”

You both know that you’ll accept the offer. Seokjin’s got you all figured out. As much as you don’t like being pushed around, the need to prove yourself is your main driving factor. The acquaintances who sneer at you, the family members who’ve shun you, the peers who expect you to burn out after the five month mark—you’d rather roll over and die than prove their misconceptions right.

It’s a matter of pride when you sniff and reply, “I’ll think about it.”

But the decision is already made before the call ends.

SCENE 02 - THE SPERMINATOR. TAKE 02. ROLL B.

Eight days later you find yourself squeezed into a brazenly short dress that zips in the front, more fit for a night out in a club than a dinner at home. It’s so ridiculously tight, you feel like a prey being swallowed down by a snake. There’s no room to breathe. You can’t wait for the scene to start, if only so you can dispose of the piece of fabric and never wear it again.

Unfortunately, your outfit gets worse because thrown over the clubbing attire is a frilly apron with small hearts embroidered along the hem. The mismatch is jarring. You’re not sure what look the stylist is going for but the end result is very...peculiar.

You comfort yourself with the knowledge that it could always be worse.

A quick glance at the digital clock on your phone confirms that you’re running on time. Good. After your last gig, the last thing you want is to spend hours waiting for the personnel to set up the cameras and sound equipment correctly.

Thankfully, today’s team works like a well-oiled machine. All that’s left are the last-minute preparations before the shoot begins.

Your false eyelashes are still drying when Seokjin elbows you sharply in the ribs. You crack open an eye to glare at him. “Ouch - ah, seriously? What is it now?”

“That’s him, that’s him!” Seokjin whispers under his breath, his gaze glued to a point somewhere beyond your shoulder. “Wooow. Aren’t you a lucky bitch? I’d gargle his nutté sauce for breakfast, if you get what I mean. He looks way better in person, damn.”

“Firstly - please never say that out loud again.” You fake a gag. “How do I buy myself a new set of ears?”

Seokjin ignores your dramatics. He shoots you a look. “You let that last guy draw a starfish on your face with his crème de la nut but did you hear me go sick?”

“That’s not the same and you know it!” Your jaw drops in indignation. “And can you stop trying to make nut cream a thing for the love of—”

“What’s this about nut cream?”

You whip your head around, mortification already etched onto your features. Your mouth opens, defense at the ready, only for your throat to clamp up.

“Oh.” You blink up in surprise because - well, Seokjin’s earlier assessment isn’t embellished. The guy is fit as fuck.

You’d seen photos in passing, had even googled his name out of curiosity, but the two-dimensional version of him pales to his real life physique. There’s a sharpness to his features that the camera fails to pick up on, a vibrancy that gets lost in the medium.

“Hey. I’m Hoseok.” His grip is firm, assertive, and your eyes naturally wander over his form. The loose muscle tee he’s thrown on puts his toned arms on display and makes it easier to admire the seemingly endless expanse of sun-kissed skin. He’s neither too thick nor too spindly, his muscles lean and firm instead of bulging. Strong but not intimidating. “I look forward to working with you.”

“Likewise.” You swallow, mouth dry.

You expect him to leave it at that like most of your past co-stars usually do. Or worse - for him to abandon all pretenses and cross lines that aren’t meant to be crossed. As someone who has experienced it all - from standoffish to creepy and vile - nothing surprises you anymore.

But unlike your, admittedly low, expectations, his gaze is warm and friendly. He speaks smoothly, leaving no time for an awkward silence to instill itself.

“Yeah, I know who you are! I saw a video or two of yours before - you were featured on the agency’s main page last month, right? Fuckin’ genius, by the way. Best stuff I’ve seen in a long ass time.” An easy grin sits on his face, nothing about it fake or contrived. “I hope we get along today. I haven’t done much work myself - yet anyway - but I hope this can be a good experience for the both of us.”

“You’ll be in good hands,” Seokjin assures, patting your shoulder like a proud parent. “_____ here is the best talent I’ve signed on.”

“That I can believe,” Hoseok chimes, his smile never waning. “I’ve heard good stuff about you. I won’t lie - it reassured me a fuck ton when I heard I’d be working with you. The stuff we’re doing is, well, it’s a bit of a gamble at this point, but I’m sure it’ll go well because I’ll be working with you.”

For a brief, embarrassing moment, you’re robbed of words, unable to respond to his flattery. From experience, you know to be wary of guys like him. Whenever someone lays it on thick they always have an ulterior motive. But what could possibly be his?

“Seokjin’s saying that because I’m the only one who can stand his nagging,” you finally say, your shoulders stiff. Maybe it’s because you’ve just met, but it’s hard to figure him out and it doesn’t help that you’re naturally wary of strangers.

“Oh hush. You love me.” Sensing how guarded you’ve become, Seokjin mercifully offers you an out. “It was nice meeting you, Hoseok. Wish we could stay and chat but she has to get ready to film the pre-interview portion.”

“Oh yeah, that’s cool. Catch you later.”

You offer a quick smile he returns tenfold, its brightness momentarily dazzling you.

Slightly dazed from the intensity of it, you stagger behind Seokjin, sun spots dotting your vision. Your surroundings blur together as your mind tries to recover from the interaction.

“Sooooooooo?” Seokjin sing-songs once you’ve walked far enough to be out of earshot. His brows are raised knowingly, an infuriating type of smugness clinging to his features. “What did I tell you! He’s hot enough to single-highhandedly melt a glacier, huh?”

You scoff, not willing to admit anything. “He’s okay.”

“Oh c’mon. He’s baby daddy material for sure. Which works out well for you since he’s gonna pump one into you later.”

For once the grimace that crosses your face isn’t exaggerated. “Please. Stop. Talking. I’m this close to heaving out my lunch.”

You’re not even joking with that one. Attractive as Hoseok may be, any talk of baby-making is enough to dissipate any smidgens of lust.

The reminder of what the upcoming scene entails and the expectations people carry crash down on you like a pile of bricks. Although you’ve done your best to ignore the fact you’ll be acting today, the meeting with Hoseok yanks you harshly back to reality.

You’re going to act. As a married couple. Trying to conceive a baby.

Three things that have never, ever been on your bucket list are now about to be crossed out in the span of the same afternoon. To that you can only say - what the fuck is my life.

Like a mounting wave before the inevitable crash, panic crests within you. You feel it gradually build and build, flooding your lungs and every crevice of your body with overwhelming anxiety.

Seokjin sighs. “How are you going to make it through today? The whole point of the sex scene is to get you pregnant. Or fake pregnant. You know what I mean.”

“Um...” You try to laugh but it comes out shaky. Seokjin shoots you a concerned look. “I’ll be fine! Really! I can do it. It’s just acting like you said, right? It’s not like he’s actually gonna knock me up in real life. So. Totally fine. It’s fine. Perfect.”

Seokjin’s concern grows. His eyebrows pinch together and his expression turns serious. He asks with no trace of mockery, “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay!” you reply. It’s too rushed of an answer to convince him. Your palms feel clammy and you wipe them off your damned apron. “Just. Nervous. Y’know.”

His steps slow to a halt and he places a warm, heavy hand on your shoulder. The weight, familiar and comforting, grounds you to reality. “Hey. What’s there to be nervous about? You got this.”

“Yeah.” You nod. Maybe if you say it enough times you’ll trick yourself into believing it. “I’ve got this.”

“Look. Let me be honest for a second. I’ve been an agent for eight years now and I’ve seen a lot of talents come and go. No pun intended.” You smile back at him weakly. “You’ve got something...extra a lot of them lacked. I knew the moment I saw you on film you’d go far. The energy you bring onscreen is insane. I know today might seem new and strange - but so was your first ever professionally shot film, right? And you got through that fine. You’ll do great. I know it. And, not to toot my own horn, but I’m always right.”

That earns him a laugh. The nerves are still there but thanks to his pep talk it’s easier to breathe.

Despite being a big pain in the ass, Seokjin is exemplary at his job. Without him, you’re acutely aware you wouldn’t have gotten half as far as you have. Having him by your side is a reassurance in itself.

Someone calls your name, pulling you from your thoughts. When you turn around, you’re face to face with the round, bespectacled face of Director Ryu. You reckon he’s in his early forties but he acts younger than his age. It’s your first time working with him but so far he’s been nice enough, if a little full of himself. Not that you’re unaccustomed with working alongside conceited colleagues.

“Oh good, you’re back. You can get seated for the interview bit.” He points over to a chair placed in front of a pale yellow wall. From close up, you can see a paint job is in order, the old coat chipping off in several places. “Alright, this won’t last long - just need you to answer some questions on tape and we’ll be good to go.”

“Sure thing.” You nod and follow his directions, sitting still while the hair and make-up artist steps up to give your lips a final touch-up.

Strictly speaking, the before and after interviews aren’t a necessity. In your experience, directors mostly film the short question-and-answer sequence when you’re set to film hardcore sex scenes as a way to show viewers everything is consensual and that you thoroughly enjoyed the experience despite whatever might have transpired on screen.

You reckon the director wants to film you today to document the process behind his “groundbreaking film project”. Cue roll of eyes.

Somebody needs to tell him he isn’t inventing anything, you think while watching him fiddle with the camera until he’s completely satisfied with the angle. All he’s done so far is add unnecessary pressure on you. You hope Hoseok is faring better because the amount of performance anxiety you’re experiencing is an instant boner killer.

“You nervous?” the director asks once he’s done adjusting the camera lens.

While by some standards you’re still considered a newbie in the industry, you’ve done this enough times to fall into a routine. Wake-up, breakfast, get ready, arrive before call time, fill out all the paperwork and get ready to shoot your solo stills. It’s familiar enough that you’ve long stopped getting pre-performance jitters.

Today’s rush of anxiety is as surprising as it is unwelcome. They don’t want to hear that particular truth though, so you keep your reply sweet and bubbly.

“Nah,” you grin, wide and easy. “I’m super excited to film today!”

“Oh yeah? Is it perhaps because of your co-star?”

Your smile freezes for a second. Somewhere over the director’s shoulder you can see Seokjin nodding enthusiastically while giving you the double thumbs up. “Hoseok? He’s hot, sure.”

“Ooh. Already on a first name basis?”

“Hm?” you let out a noise of polite confusion, only belatedly realizing that his viewers know him better as his porn alias, J-Hope. But there’s no way in hell you’re going to yell that out loud while he’s fucking an orgasm out of you. Not only does it sound ridiculous but it’ll shatter whatever carefully crafted illusion you manage to build. “Um, yes. We’re getting to know each other. He’s very friendly.”

“I’m sure he is.” And there’s an implication there that doesn’t sit too well with you but thankfully Director Ryu chooses to move on and put that particular subject to rest.

“You ever shoot an insemination scene before?”

“Not yet.” You make sure to keep the smile on your face even if your cheeks are beginning to hurt. “I can’t wait to get to it. It’s a fantasy I’ve always had but never tried out for myself. I’m excited to film a first on camera!”

The director has yet to call you out for your bullshit so you slowly start to relax. Acting is a bit like lying, isn’t it? Maybe you can get through today after all.

You breeze through the rest of the questions, forcing out practiced laughs here and there all whilst keeping your voice syrupy sweet. It’s quick work, especially when you know what to expect. Before you know it, it’s already time to film the pièce de résistance. Everyone that’s allowed on set during filming filters into the kitchen, conversations between crew members dying down as they use their last recreational moments to check their phones.

The director’s filming style exempts you from shooting the customary pre-shoot sex stills which are essentially promotional pictures of you and and your partner in every sex position that you’ll be filming for real later on. You’re thankful for that, at least. Even with all of your on-camera experience, staying perfectly silent and still with someone’s dick inside you is no easy feat. It’s worse when you have to keep eye contact with your co-star and fake sexual gratification because the shot calls for it.

Hoseok waves at you from the other side of the room, the hair and makeup artist dusting some powder across the slope of his nose.

How can he look so relaxed?! You’re barely holding your lunch down. Honestly, it’s a miracle you’re able to now tat the butterflies are back in full force, making a mess of your stomach.

You feel queasy but try not to make it too obvious even as Seokjin comes around to check up on you. The last thing you want to do is make a scene, especially when your onscreen counterpart's demeanor is making you look amateurish in comparison.

Maybe Hoseok is a better actor than you’re able to give most porn stars credit for because try as you might, you fail to detect any nervous undercurrent in his tone. For someone who is supposedly starring in his first major project, he doesn’t seem all too bothered about how it might play out.

How does he do it?! In all honesty, if Seokjin hadn’t informed you of his rookie status, you would be none the wiser.

There’s an ease with which he carries himself, a fluidity in his movements that belies no anxiety or awkwardness. Even from this distance you can tell that there’s never a hint of hesitation in his movements or speech; he doesn’t seem self-conscious in the least. He talks and moves with the assurance of someone who has been in the industry for months, not weeks.

In that moment you envy him. You’re so nervous about the upcoming scene that it’s hard to feign an air of professional detachment.

His boisterous laugh is loud enough to carry across the room and interrupt your line of thought. When you look over at him again, you find him folded in half, hands clutching his sides, and wearing a grin so bright it eclipses the entirety of his face.

“He seems nice.”

You jump, startled by Jimin’s sudden appearance. You hadn’t even heard him draw near. With a sheepish expression, you turn to look up at him only to find him already staring off into the distance. There’s a strange look painting his face, and a small crease in his brow that usually isn’t present. When you follow his line of sight, you’re met with the image of Hoseok talking animatedly to the the small crowd that’s flocked around him.

“Yeah.” You aren’t sure what else to say. Although there’s no sarcasm attached to his words, you can’t help but find Jimin unnaturally tense.

Which makes sense, you concede guiltily. A mere stranger is minutes away from dicking down his girlfriend. You’re not sure how you’d feel if you were to stand in his shoes.

You breathe in deep, silently willing away the knot of distress in your belly. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. It’s just a job. A profession that Jimin has always been fully aware of, even before you’d begun dating.

Even as you remind yourself of the facts, it does little to dispel the lingering feelings of doubt and guilt.

“Hey.” Jimin frowns at you in concern. “You alright?”

“Yep!” you say then immediately sigh, knowing that lying to your boyfriend is pointless. “I’m just a bit nervous.”

“Nervous?” Jimin’s worry grows, the crease in his brow deepening. “What about?”

“Just—” You gesture around with your hands. “All of this.”

“Oh.” He looks genuinely surprised. “But you don’t usually get nervous... Is it the impregnation thing you’ll have to do? I know you’ve said you’re not a big fan of that. Or... Is it something else?”

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully. It’s a bit of everything yet at the same time nothing you can clearly pinpoint and put a finger on. In all logic, you know that you’re feeling disproportionately stressed out but you can’t stop yourself from feeling how you feel. “It’s not that I don’t want to film. I just - I’m worried I won’t do well.”

Jimin takes your hand between his, running a thumb in soothing circles across the surface of your skin. He repeats the motion several times until your heartbeat is completely synced to his touch.

“You’ll do great. You always do.” The lines of his mouth bend into a smile. “I’ll be on the sidelines cheering you on.”

“My very own cheerleader.” You allow yourself to relax and and smile back fondly.

As much as you worry about Jimin being upset with you filming sex scenes with other actors, he’s never been anything less than the supporting boyfriend you’ve always dreamed of. Seokjin calls Jimin’s constant presence on set maddening, but you’re thankful that your boyfriend sticks by your side while others might flee or shame you.

Suddenly, you’re overcome with emotion. Maybe it’s the stress, or maybe today you’re more hormonal than usual, but your eyes threaten to well up as you grip his palm tightly in your own. “Jimin, I—”

“Okay, lovebirds!” Seokjin claps his hands once, effectively ruining your moment. “Hand-holding time is over. We’re moving onto the more R-rated stuff.”

“Seokjin!” you hiss, upset over his horrible timing.

“It’s fine.” Jimin shakes his head. “He’s right, shoot’s about to start anytime soon. I need to get ready, too.”

“Right.”

Reluctantly, you let go of Jimin’s hand.

“Don’t pout.” He laughs and presses a quick, chaste kiss to your mouth. “I’ll wait for you after filming and we can go grab dinner. Italian sound fine?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” You bob your head eagerly. “I’m literally dying for carbs. Italian sounds more than perfect.”

“Good.”

You can’t resist sneaking in one last peck before Jimin retreats behind the cameras and you’re pulled to stand in front of a granite kitchen tabletop. Director Ryu is waiting for you, Hoseok already by his side.

From close-up, your co-star looks even more striking. The make-up artist’s work highlights his features without going overboard. The lines of his face are sharp, like every single one has been meticulously drawn. What usually would give someone a hostile and unapproachable impression is balanced out by the liveliness that lights up his eyes and his wide smile that looks almost too big for his face.

“It’ll start in the kitchen and then we’ll work out way to the bedroom.” Director Ryu points down the hallway. “I was thinking of keeping it all in the bedroom but nothing screams domesticity more than kitchen scenes, right?”

“Uh-huh.” You give a polite nod. Next to you, Hoseok coughs into his fist.

“Depending on how this goes we might have to take several takes - just keep that in mind.”

That’s nothing out of the ordinary. Sex scenes are never filmed in one take. There’s always one thing or another - a smoke break, a flaccid dick, a lighting fixture that needs to be changed. A 45 minute porn movie is the result of the editing team that painstakingly goes through, cuts and assembles hours of footage.

“Remember,” Director Ryu instructs, one hand cocked on his hips. “You’re still stuck in that honeymoon phase. All the two of you want to do is fuck like horny bunnies but your husband’s been away all day. Both of you have been waiting for this reunion for hours and hours. I want to feel that level of tension, got it?”

Hoseok nods like a dutiful student, his expression comically serious. You’d laugh if it wasn’t so inappropriate.

“Yep. Ok. Got it.”

You just want the director to stop talking so that you can get this over with quickly. The monologue is just delaying the inevitable.

Director Ryu spends extra minutes setting up the scene, emphasizing how in love and passionate the two of you should behave, describing how long you’ve been wanting to try for a baby, going into explicit detail about what the sex scenes should convey to the viewers. He just goes on and on and on with no end it sight.

At this point even Hoseok is growing restless. His feet refuse to stay still and his eyes dart around the room as if his attention is drawn elsewhere. It’s Hoseok’s constant fidgeting that draws Director Ryu out of his monologue. He finally senses that there’s a unanimous decision to start filming and retires behind the camera to settle himself in his appointed chair.

Hoseok shares a long look with you. “Is he always like that?”

“God, I hope not.” You lower your voice to whisper, “Seokjin - my agent - he says apparently Director Ryu wanted to make a career off of documentaries once he graduated from film school but quickly switched genres once he saw how little filming the mating habits of koalas was earning him.”

“Ah,” Hoseok nods conspiratorially before his features shift into something more serious. “Hey. Before we start, is there anything you’re not comfortable with? I know this scene is supposed to lean towards vanilla but you never know... I’d rather make sure. Just in case.”

You blink, taken aback. Hard limits aren’t really discussed outside of hardcore scenes. Sure, everyone is given a safeword before shoots begin but even screaming out “STOP!” or “Can we take a break from filming?” is enough to put the filmed scene on hold.

“Ah... No. I’m okay. But thanks for asking.” A moment passes and you add, “Is there - are there any words or kinks that bother you?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “Not for this one. Just - if there’s anything you’d rather me not say or do, don’t hesitate.”

You nod in reply, not sure of what else to say. Unfortunately your past experiences with men have made you suspicious of any form of flattery or kindness.

Soon, though, you relax. What reason is there for Hoseok to deceive you? Maybe he still has that rookie mindset. You can relate to the eagerness and the desire to do well you’d had in your early days of filming.

“Alright. Good luck, Hoseok.”

His smile is so bright that it erases your previous doubts. Surely someone with ill-intentions wouldn’t be able to smile like that, right? You return a tentative smile of your own. Something akin to understanding seems to pass between you. Although you don’t know Hoseok and he doesn’t know you, you trust him enough for this scene.

The moment is broken when Director Ryu directs Hoseok to wait outside the camera’s line of vision and you’re left alone in front of the kitchen stove.

Any moment now, you think. A telltale silence falls over the staff members as they all anticipate the director’s signal for the scene to start.

The first few seconds are always tricky. You’re no actress. There’s no switch inside of you that flips on and off as soon as the director commands “ACTION!” and “CUT!”. The world around you doesn’t fade out, your ‘porn star persona’ doesn’t claw its way out from within you and lunge for the nearest available dick. Sometimes, if you’re not attracted to your onscreen partner, you find your mind drifting off, making an inventory of your fridge and wondering what you’ll be able to cook up for dinner with two eggs and leftover rice.

When Director Ryu shouts “ACTION!” and slams down the plate, you freeze up. Usually you have an idea of what to say or do, but the words and actions won’t come to you this time.

Someone behind the cameras lets out a light cough. Oh right, you blink down at the simmering pot of water in front of you. The cameras are recording you making an utter fool out of yourself.

The spike of humiliation forces you into action. You’re more professional than this, damn it. You give the water a tentative stir, movements wooden and stiff. It’s hard to concentrate. All you can do is watch as the water simmers to a boil, the sound of bubbling water like a roaring current in your ears.

A door creaks open, signalling your onscreen husband’s return home.

To your horror, you find that you’re unable to move, as if your limbs had forgotten their primary function.

Before the scene had started, you had envisioned yourself throwing yourself into the arms of your loving husband and welcoming him home with a shower of kisses and words of affection. You had internally rehearsed it, had even thought of what you could say to him between pecks, but the reality is far removed from what you had practiced.

“Darling?” Hoseok’s voice is soft but loud enough for you to hear him over the angry sounds of boiling water. The vowels he uses are rounded, different from the bright pep in his tone from earlier.

You want to respond but your tongue feels like lead, too heavy in your mouth to articulate and form the proper reply. What are you supposed to call him, anyway? Honey? Hoseok? A nickname derived from his name? What do newlywed spouses call each other? Why couldn’t you give this more thought before the cameras began rolling?

Panic balloons inside you, threatening to burst. For a terrifying and mortifying second, you think that you’ve gone and ruined everything. The muscles in your shoulders bunch up and you half-expect the director to shout ‘CUT!’, give you a public scolding for missing your cue and berate you for your overall ineptitude.

Hoseok’s arms wrap around your middle before you have time to agonize any further. Just as you suspected, his arms are strong, the lean muscles flexing as he readjusts his hold around your waist. What you don’t expect, however, is the unadulterated warmth he radiates. His body burns hot; even through the layers of clothing separating the two of you, his warmth seeps through. But it’s strangely comfortable, not unlike basking in the afternoon sun during the last days of summer. You let yourself melt into his embrace.

“You’re not even going to say hi?”

With your back turned to him, you can’t be sure, but you imagine the pout playing at his lips. He tucks his chin in the crook of your shoulder. If he feels any awkwardness, he doesn’t let it show.

Miraculously, your mouth seems to be in working order again. It takes you a few seconds too long to find the appropriate answer, but it finally comes before the director can cut in to make any remarks.

“If I turn around right now, I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you,” you explain. “And - I don’t want to ruin our dinner.”

Just to keep up the pretense, you add a handful of spaghetti into the pot of water.

Hoseok lets out a hum from behind you. He’s standing close enough for you to feel the vibrations low in his throat.

“I hate it,” he says after a stretch of silence.

You pout. “What? My cooking? What’s wrong with it?”

“No, silly. I hate -” he sighs, buries his face in your neck before looking back up so the camera can capture his expression. “I hate not being with you. I missed this.”

He hugs you from behind before kissing your neck. It starts off innocuous - his lips pressing short, chaste kisses down the column of your throat. Quickly, however, his mouth lingers on your skin.

“Ah - don’t. I’m cooking!” you shriek when his teeth scrape over a sensitive spot under your jaw. Your protests are half-hearted and go by unacknowledged. The pot of pasta could overflow right now and no one would care, least of all you.

Hoseok noses your neck while he tightening his grip around your waist, the movement bringing his hips flush against your lower back. You give the pot in front of you a very unenthusiastic stir, attention focused instead on the way his lips tenderly skim the surface of your skin, testing and teasing. The sensation feels nice - and keeps your mind off of the several cameras directed your way.

“But I went all day missing my princess,” he sighs, open mouthed against your neck. “Spent all day thinking about you.”

“Y-you did?”

“Mhm.” He gives your exposed shoulder a peck. Then another. “Thought about your cute little laugh.”

His line catches you off guard. Your mouth opens but no sound comes out.

Porn is often crude and to the point. You’re used to men complimenting your body parts or praising your skills in bed. You’d never minded, either. But Hoseok’s choice of words make you eager in a different way.

“What else?”

“Well, your cooking, for sure. Without you I’d be eating out of ramyeon packets for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

You let out a snort.

“That’s true. Your cooking is so horrible it’s offensive.”

“Hey now. Don’t be mean.” He pokes your cheek before pinching your chin to turn your head towards him. “I can cook a decent omelet.”

Hoseok’s a good few inches taller than you so you have to strain your neck to be able to look him in the eyes. The slight discomfort barely registers. You’re too transfixed by the way he stares at you. It’s hard to place the expression because you’ve never seen it on a fellow actor before. Normally, the men you work with stare you down with hungry and lustful intent, but there’s none of that in Hoseok’s gaze.

The expression on his face cannot be described as innocent, either. He licks his lips, drawing your attention to the pretty lines of his mouth delicately curved into a smile.

“I missed the way you feel in my arms.” His voice sounds deeper, this time. “I missed holding you close to me. Kissing you. Reminding you how much I love you. I missed the look in your eyes when - “

“When?”

He smirks. “You sure you want to hear it? What if you can’t keep your hands off of me after? I don’t want to be held responsible for soggy pasta.”

“Hoseok,” you whine, one of your hands reaching down to slap at the hold around your stomach.

He tightens his hold around you and your breath hitches, suddenly all too aware of how firm his body feels behind you. The smirk on his face widens as he leans forward to confess his next words.

“I was thinking about how I miss the look on your face whenever I make your pussy sloppy with my cum.”

“Hoseok!”

One moment he’s crooning sweet words of affection, the next he’s spitting out filth. The quick back-and-forth gives you whiplash but you can’t say you dislike it. Unlike the tired and overused clichéd porn scenarios you’ve filmed in the past, Hoseok’s unpredictable behavior has the advantage of keeping you on your toes.

“You missed it too, hm?” He kisses your neck, lips soft and warm. “Kept thinking about how pretty you sound. So, so pretty. Especially when I give you what you want.”

“How would you know what I want?” You turn your head forwards so you can pretend to check up on the cooking pasta. “You were away all day.”

Hoseok’s eyes flash dangerously.

“How would I know?” he parrots back, his tone sweet and mocking. Something about it sends tingles down your spine and has you standing up straighter. “I always know what my pretty wife wants. I know because your body can’t lie to me.”

His hands wander, one of them inching up the material of your frilly apron to reach between your breasts. The movement is slow enough for a camera to zoom in and follow its trail. Hoseok rests his hand on your left breast and gives it a squeeze.

“See?” He repeats the action. “Your heart’s racing like crazy.”

You swallow audibly, finding it hard to come up with a witty riposte.

He continues with a chuckle, “You can’t deny it, can you? Your body’s too honest for your own good. It’s okay. You don’t have to say you missed me. I know.”

His self-assured way of talking makes it easier for you to react. This - the cockiness, the playfulness - you’re familiar with.

You roll your eyes and continue to give the pot in front of you a few additional stirs only for your breath to hitch when he starts to grind his hips against your lower back in time with your stirs.

Fuck is your only coherent thought. He rolls his hips so well it’s impossible not to imagine them doing something else. Your bottom lip grows numb from how hard you bite it.

“Of course I missed you.” You keep your tone as light as possible, determined not to show that his words and actions affect you.

Hoseok’s eyes narrow. He removes his hands from around you but keeps his front pressed against your back. He smiles again, dimples poking through.

“You don’t sound convinced... That’s fine.” It sounds like the beginning of a challenge and you soon learn why.

His nimble fingers play with the knot of your apron and you tense, expecting him to make quick work of your clothes and dive straight into dessert, so to speak. Once again, he surprises you by leaving the apron alone, hands falling to his sides.

His knees hit the floor, the noise startling you. Before you have the chance to truly react, he’s quick to pull your hips backwards until your back is arched. The sudden change in position forces you to adjust your stance so as to keep your balance.

“Hoseok?” you start to question but he cuts you off with a tut and light smack to your ass.

“You just keep your eye on dinner like you were doing before.” His fingers play with the hem of your short dress, stretching the fabric until it bunches up around your hips and leaves your lacy thong on display. “You can do that, right?”

Flustered by the position he’s maneuvered you into, with your hips thrust back obscenely, legs splayed wide and pussy on show, you grip the wooden spoon in your hand with more force than necessary. “It’s just pasta. I can manage.”

Maybe you sound less indifferent than intended because Hoseok seems more amused than offended by your feinted nonchalance. He barks out a laugh, his hands spreading the meat of your cheeks aside to get a better view of your lace-covered bits.

Privately, you wish you could witness his reaction. If there’s anything that turns you on, it’s knowing how much someone else wants you. If feels good to know that you’re wanted and desired. Even if fucking is part of your job description, the act needs to be mutually enjoyable for you to be completely satisfied.

“Sure.” The lilt in his voice is so sweet that it borders on condescending. “While you do that, I think I’ll have my appetizer.”

It’s corny, overused and a little degrading - exactly the type of one-liner you’d ordinarily find in porn - but he gives you no time to call him out for it. As soon as he’s done talking, he wags his tongue out and drags it across the red lace, and the repeated up and down motions quickly dampen your panties.

You notice with great frustration that he takes care to avoid your clit, focusing instead on licking broad stripes over slit and, to your surprise, around your rim. He doesn’t stop until your underwear drips with the accumulation of your essence and his saliva. The soaked lace rubs against you, the rough texture adding pressure to your most sensitive zones, until you can’t tell if the extra sensation is a blessing or a curse. Your hips jerk forward every so often, unsure if you’d rather lean into or escape his torturous games. Because as amazing as Hoseok’s tongue feels, you know your body well enough to be able to tell that this particular tempo won’t bring you to your peak.

An appetizer, he had called it. That’s exactly what the teasing ministrations feel like - a small sampling before the main course. It’s satisfying and maddening in its own way. Good, but not enough to satisfy your ravenous appetite.

He unearths himself from your dripping core, chin shiny with your juices.

“Keep focus,” he instructs as he slots two fingers inside of you. You’re wet enough that they slide in without too much difficulty, the stretch making your stomach clench. “I thought you said you knew how to cook pasta.”

Against your will, you force yourself to focus on the bubbling water in front of you. As much as you want to push your hips back and ride his fingers until you’re pushed over the edge, you can’t take the humiliation of messing up pasta - even if it is for the sake of a porn scenario.

It’s fucking pasta! You have to be seriously inept to mess up such a simple dish...

But what should have been an effortless task becomes more challenging than expected. Hoseok refuses to go easy on you. If anything, your stubborn silence is all the motivation he needs to thrust his fingers inside of you harder, curving them at an angle that makes your knees wobble. You struggle to keep any incriminating noises at bay but despite your best efforts, several muffled moans slip out one after the other.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, the logical side of you points out how dangerous all of this is. What if, during your impending orgasm, your body seizes up and knocks the boiling water everywhere during the process? You quickly switch off the gas stove at the thought. Better be safe than sorry.

Just then, Hoseok adds his tongue to the mix, his fingers relentless in their pursuit of your pleasure. You bite back a curse as the wooden spoon slips from your hold and clatters to the floor.

“Ah fu - Oh God,” you stutter, hands holding on to the edge of the counter for dear life.

You’ve been eaten out God knows how many times in your life, but not many have instinctively known what really gets you going. Hoseok laps at your core, tongue collecting the moisture that seeps through the fabric of your ruined panties, while his fingers scissor you open for his cock.

Your stomach clenches as you imagine how well he’d fill you up. Who the hell would ever want pasta for dinner when Hoseok could feed you his cock instead? Definitely not you, that’s for sure.

It’s easy to picture it. All he’d need to do is stand up, unzip his pants and spear you open with a practiced roll of his hips. Maybe he’d make you toss a salad while he fucks you from behind, slapping your ass whenever you forget to keep stirring the ingredients together. Or perhaps he’d let you ride his dick on the kitchen floor, too impatient to make it to a more comfortable surface.

Your imagination knows no bounds. Once you start, you can’t stop thinking of more lascivious scenarios, each one more daring and debauched than the last. The heat between your legs becomes unbearable and still, you ache for more.

Hoseok pulls away from the apex of your thighs and snorts, the sound pulling you out of your depraved thoughts. The pace of his thrusting slows down without stopping completely, his fingers still pressed deep within you. Your arms tremble as they try to keep you upright, knuckles white from the strength of your grip around the counter’s edge. You exhale shakily.

A whine works its way into your voice. “Why - why’d you stop?”

Ignoring your protests, he pops his fingers out of you and indulges in one last lick of your swollen pussy, before gathering to his feet. He rolls down your dress back over your bum and peers over your shoulder, acting as nothing had ever happened.

“Thought you said you’d take care of dinner, hm?” Hoseok has the gall to hum in disappointment.

Your mouth opens in outrage. “You!”

Hoseok pouts. “I thought we said you wouldn’t blame me for any soggy pasta.”

“You’re impossible,” you say without any real heat to your words.

“But you love me that way.”

He smiles as he leans in to kiss you, lips sticky and warm. You follow the pace he sets as best you can, unaccustomed to the way he takes his time - like you’re a delicacy that demands to be savored and not gulped down. On-screen kisses are usually rushed, messy, with too much tongue. They’re a scripted affair, more for show than out of real affection. When men tuck back your hair behind your ear or palm your cheek, it’s only to better angle your face for the camera.

There is something intimate about the way he holds you, the way he looks at you. Inwardly, you can't help but admire his acting skills. There’s something tender about the way he handles you that’s distinctly different from any of your previous onscreen partners. Sure, you’ve shot vanilla sex scenes before, but never of this variety. None of the male actors’ performances have made you wish, even fleetingly, foolishly, that the scene was real.

Hoseok pulls up for air before your mind can wander off completely, his panting mouth a hairsbreadth away. Lips touching but not quite.

Blearily, you blink your eyes open. You’re close enough that your noses brush against one another, your breaths mingling together. Hoseok’s eyes remain closed throughout, like he doesn’t want the moment to end. He looks so content that you can’t bring yourself to do anything else but melt further into his embrace, gaze drinking in the minute details of his face - like the tiny moles dotting his cheekbone and upper lip and the pretty curve of his eyes.

“And cut!”

You both jump away from each other, startled. For a second there, the storyline you’d been instructed to follow had slipped from your mind. You’re unsure if the lapse in judgement is good or bad but you don’t let the question linger in your thoughts. You’ll have plenty of time to dissect your performance at a later time.

“Good, good. That wasn’t what I was expecting but I don’t think anyone has any objections?” Director Ryu claps his hands. “Fifteen minute break sound good everyone? Then we’ll relocate to the bedroom to shoot the next part.”

There’s a general hum of agreement from the crew members. Chairs and various other equipment scrape the floor as the personnel prepare to migrate to the other room for filming. Jimin’s gaze meets yours briefly but all he can do is smile weakly in your direction before he’s ordered to help push some of the equipment down the hall.

Someone comes up to you with a bottle of water while another steps closer to blot the beads of sweat near your hairline and reapply a layer of lipstick. The make-up artist knits her brows in concentration until she’s satisfied with the touch-ups. She then moves on to Hoseok, make-up palette and brush at the ready, and grumbles loudly about the sticky residue covering his face. You hear Hoseok bellow a laugh, the sound so infectious that even the make-up artist joins in.

You sip your water through a straw, careful not to smudge your freshly applied lipstick, and check your phone for any missed messages.

“Was all of that okay?”

“Hm?” You look up and are surprised to see Hoseok stare at you expectantly. “I, uh, know some girls aren’t into ass play. I’m sorry. I should’ve asked before jumping the gun but I figured - since you said there wasn’t anything major you were adverse to filming...”

His voice trails off.

“I liked it.” The admission is an easy one. “It did take me by surprise, but - I don’t have any complaints.”

“Ah, really?” Hoseok’s mouth corners upturn in relief. “That’s good to know. I was thinking - for the next scene - what if - I mean, are you okay with calling me Daddy?”

You tilt your head as you mull over the proposition.

“Daddy?”

“It’s not - you don’t have to. But listening to Director Ryu go on earlier made me think of something we could do. I think it fits well with the general idea. What do you think?”

“I’m fine with it.” Using the title doesn’t make you squeamish so you shrug in compliance. It’s not the first you’ve had to incorporate a daddy kink into the scene and it likely won’t be the last. You don’t see why you wouldn’t or shouldn’t do it with Hoseok. “I’ll follow your lead like I’ve been doing.”

It’s only as you’re following him towards the bedroom that you recall that you’ve yet to get to the crux of the scene - the damned impregnation kink. Even though you’re considerably less nervous than you’d been an hour or two ago, the thought of begging someone you barely know for something so intimate makes your stomach flip-flop. You don’t even have unprotected sex with Jimin and he’s your boyfriend.

Speaking of Jimin, you try to sneak in a peck or two before filming but Director Ryu intercepts you before you can make a beeline to where Jimin’s stationed behind a camera.

“How are you feeling?” The overhead light reflects off his round glasses and makes it impossible to hold eye contact unless you want to become semi-permanently blind.

“Good---”

“Wonderful. Well, we’ve positioned cameras here, here, and over there. There’ll be another camera man who’ll film with a handheld camera for closeups. Just keep that in mind. I know we’re giving you free-range to do what you feel is best and most natural but I’d hate to ask you to re-shoot because the camera couldn’t capture the both of you properly.”

You nod and he continues, “Also - please remember that you’re acting as a horny young married couple. I remember at that age I was up for anything, you get what I’m saying? People think just because you put a ring on your finger the sex automatically becomes stale. Fuck that. Show people married couples are freaks in the sheet.”

“Uh... Alright. I’ll keep that in mind.”

He claps a hand over your shoulder. “That’s the spirit.”

Freaks in the sheet? What did he expect you to do? Try out all the sex positions in the Kama Sutra?

“What did he want now?” Hoseok leans over to whisper once you’re seated comfortably on the bed. You’re hoping the mics don’t pick up the conversation but would rather not take the risk of being overheard bad-mouthing the director.

Shrugging, you say, “Just that this scene should be spicier.”

Hoseok raises his brow, lips quirking into a smirk. “That so?”

The same cockiness you’d caught a glimpse of during your escapade in the kitchen is back and the memory you associate it with makes the back of your neck prickle with heat. You clear your throat and avert your eyes.

Thankfully Director Ryu interrupts before Hoseok has the chance to fluster you further. You follow each of the director’s voiced directives until you’re comfortably seated on Hoseok’s lap, dress hitched around your waist because of how far your knees are spread on either side of Hoseok’s thighs. There’s a quick, last minute adjustment as Director Ryu ensures that the camera in the left corner picks up on everything it’s supposed to.

Satisfied, he lets you take the reins from there, then gives the cameras the signal to begin rolling.

You don’t waste a moment, taking his earlier commentary to heart. It’s your turn to pepper kisses all over Hoseok’s golden skin, leaving faint traces of rouge behind like an artist signing their own painting. You stop a few times to admire your work. Lip prints and lavender bite marks color his skin and the sight awakens a possessive streak you didn’t know you had.

Your enthusiasm to mark him up gets a little out of hand.

"Mhm." Hoseok grunts when you lick over a sensitive spot under his jaw. "Slow down, princess. There's no rush. We have all night."

He cups his chin between his hands so you have no choice but to relent and direct your gaze up at him. You’re pleased to see that he’s not completely indifferent to your touch; despite his instructions to take it slow, the smoldering look in his eyes tell a different story.

He runs the pad of his thumb over your lower lip, the pink flesh no doubt swollen. You take the digit in your mouth, unprompted, and run your tongue against its underside, wishing that his cock could fill your mouth instead.

Hoseok makes a noise low in his throat, not quite a growl but close.

"And I intend to take my time with you." The look he levels you with promises a night full of mind-numbing pleasure. Ribbons of heat curl around the base of your spine. "Want to make you feel good."

"You do," you agree, words muffled around the thumb you refuse to let go of.

You take a hold of his wrist and free your mouth, only to quickly replace it with his forefinger and middle finger. The stretch of two digits makes you moan lewdly.

Hoseok’s eyes darken. He lets you play for a few more seconds before he takes back control, his fingers pushing deeper into your mouth until they hit the back of your throat. You swallow down a gag, but his fingers don’t let you rest for long. He drags them over the flat of your tongue, watching as spit dribbles down past the sides of your mouth, and repeats the motion, pumping into your mouth steadily like he would a cock.

As nice as it feels to be filled with his fingers, whether in your cunt or mouth, you’re ready for more. Subconsciously, your hips grind down in his lap, shifting this way and that until you’re perfectly seated over his hardened length.

Drool is pushed out of your mouth as Hoseok squeezes a third fingers in with the other two. You suck harder, hoping that all your efforts will spur Hoseok into finally fucking you. The knowledge that he has to, at one point or another, keeps you from whining and begging pathetically for his cock. You can exercise patience if you put your mind to it; you’re sure of it.

Your on-screen husband decides to test that resolve.

His other hand starts to wander south, his fingers toying with the short hem of your dress that’s been rucked up even higher with all your rocking and grinding. The movement of your hips slow, your brain unable to keep up with the stimuli coming in all directions.

A crack resounds in the room, the sharp sound startling you more than the sting that accompanies it. Hoseok’s palm rubs over the heated area, only inflaming it further.

“And who told you you could stop?”

The second slap is notably harsher than the first, and your hips automatically lurch forward hoping perhaps to lessen the impact of the sting.

You know he doesn’t expect a verbal answer; his second hand keeps your mouth plugged up, making any attempt at talking unintelligible. It doesn’t stop you from trying, only because you know the muffled protest are greatly appreciated amongst viewers. And if the way Hoseok’s digs his fingers into your smarting ass cheek is any indicator, you’re confident that he also enjoys your squirming and messy display.

“Keep moving, princess. I need both your holes nice and wet.”

The way his voice dips an octave makes your stomach twist in arousal. You long to tell him that you’re sufficiently wet enough for him to slide his cock inside right away but all you manage are pitiful garbled words.

He raises an eyebrow at your delayed response and your hips move before he can smack the globes of your ass for a third time. You have an inkling he’ll only hit harder with the intention of leaving marks of his own all over your skin.

It’s a careful balancing act, but you figure it out as you go. Bounce too fast and the fingers in your mouth will make you gag. Move too slowly for his liking and he won’t hesitate to add to the collection of handprints on your ass.

You lose track of how long he makes you play this game. Your mind focuses on sucking while keeping your jaw slack enough to accomadate the width of three digits. Drool pools down your chin, and you’re certain whatever the make-up artist had done to your lips is now ruined. Worse off are your panties. At the stage they’re at now, you’ll have no choice but to throw them out. Hoseok’s pants might need be as unsalveagable as your thong, you think inwardly, judging by the large, dark wet spot you’re currently sitting on.

“Mmh, good girl.”

He gently slides his fingers out, strings of saliva attached. He hums in satisfaction at the lewd sight and rubs his fingers across your swollen lips and shiny chin, spreading the fluids and what’s left of your lipstick over your mouth. You swallow, mouth sore from being used roughly for so long.

“This hole is sufficiently wet, I think,” he appraises, eyelashes fluttering before he casts a long look down your body until it reaches where you’re seated on his clothed erection. “Let’s check this one too.”

The way he smirks at you but makes no move to check himself lets you know that he expects you to do the work.

You let your hands trail down your body slowly, cupping your breasts as you do, enjoying his hooded gaze and the way his cock twitches beneath you a bit too much. When you reach the hem of your dress, you lift your hips up to pull the fabric up to your navel giving an unobstructed view of your lace-covered pussy.

Hoseok stare intensifies but you don’t feel any embarrassment from the scrutiny. “Well you certainly look ripe.”

His fingers toy with the delicate string of lace around your hips. He lets the material snap against your skin a few times before he grows bored or impatient with his own game and gives the lace a harsh yank. It tears easily and the leftover scraps fall into his lap.

“... But just to be sure -” His hands grip your waist and manhandle you onto your hands and knees. Your head spins from how suddenly he’s moved you around to his liking that your arms give out and you fall face first into the clean smelling bed sheets. “Gotta give my favorite hole of yours a better look.”

His hands hoist your hips at a higher angle so that your soaked center is visible for the cameras to pan onto. Hoseok slides in two fingers easily, then a third. Loud, obscene noises echo in the otherwise quiet room, noises that are quickly joined by your unabashed moans of pleasure.

Your core is on fire. Hoseok’s fingers are just as good as you remember them to be. No, better. The three fingers pump into you in measured strokes, the drag slow enough to keep you dangling over the edge without pushing you over.

Hoseok spanks your ass, hissing between his teeth as you clench around his fingers, no doubt imagining your inner walls hugging his cock instead.

“Christ. You’re always such a soft, wet little thing down here,” he croons in dulcet tones. “I could play with you all day.”

You thrust your hips back, shameless.

“Please! Please Daddy, I’ll be so good, I just - please - I nuh, need it. Need your cock fucking me full. I’ll take it so good, you know I will. Want you to - please! Daddy, I need your cum.”

“Shit.”

He fumbles in his haste to flip you onto your back. He crawls over your body, and you watch fascinated as he dives down to kiss you like a man starved. He looks almost feral, pupils so dilated the brown of his eyes is almost gone.

Heat blooms in your stomach as he kisses you deeply. The press of his lips against yours renders you a little less coherent as time ticks on, every brush of his tongue making you a little more dizzy with want.

Everything about him burns. It feels like being kissed by the sun itself. Every caress, every lick and nip leaves you feverish all over, like your drunk off his touch.

"Let me," he says, pinching the zipper of your dress between his thumb and index finger.

You wrap your hand around his and guide his movements. His gaze never leaves yours and it makes shivers run down your back. Even though you're the one controlling his movements for the time being, the look in his eyes makes it abundantly clear that the control you wield is only temporary.

When your dress finally falls open, you try not to preen too much under the reverent look that falls over Hoseok’s face. Your back arches a little off the bed, pert breasts thrust towards him - an appealing offer he doesn’t dare refuse.

Hoseok circles a thumb around your nipple, rubbing and flicking until it hardens into a stiff peak.

You wonder, distantly, how this looks like from the outside looking in. The man in front of you is a stranger in all senses of the word. Yet the way he touches you - like there are years of built-up affection behind every gesture - makes you second guess everything you know.

"Fuckin' love your tits.” He sighs, awe reflected in the dark of his eyes. "Love playing with them. Love how wet it gets you, how hungry your little pussy gets."

"Please,” you mewl, his words igniting a new wave of heat. It rolls over your body, leaving no extremity untouched. You burn from the inside out with raw desire.

You squeeze your own breasts in a bid to get him to touch you more. Hoseok merely chuckles, finding your desperation entertaining. One of his hands reach down between you to play with the wetness that clings to your core like a second skin and it takes everything inside of you not to rub yourself against him like a bitch in heat.

"What is it, princess?" His lips quirk into a smirk like he already knows the answer. "You're looking quite needy. How did you manage to hold it in all this time?"

“Stop teasing,” you growl, the lack of friction making you irritable. "I need your cock. And why - why do you have so many fucking clothes on?”

He chuckles, chest vibrating in amusement.

“Take them off,” you insist. Then, you grudgingly tack on a “Please” for good measure.

As hot as Hoseok looks like in his “work clothes”, he looks infinitely better naked, you decide as he chucks off his button-down shirt and gets started on his leather belt. With each new piece of clothing that gets discarded, the anticipation building inside of you skyrockets.

You take a moment to soak in his lithe figure, not bothering to hide how affected you are by the view. He’s nicely sculpted; you can tell right away that he takes care of himself. Swimming or dancing maybe? You hesitate between the two. His muscles are lean, nothing like the bulging biceps and thick forearms typical of the stereotypical gym rat.

Hoseok’s dick is, unsurprisingly, as pretty as the rest of him. It’s long and curved, a prominent vein running along its underside. The thatch of pubic hair that rests above his dick is neatly trimmed, the dark hair contrasting with the tan skin of his abdomen and the rosy hue of his erect length. Your eyes swoop down his thighs, licking your lips unwittingly at the alluring sight presented to you.

“Daddy,” you say, the whine in your voice unmistakable. “Want your cock.”

For a brief moment you’re tricked into believing he’s given in to your demand, but find yourself disappointed when he contents himself with rubbing his hardened member between your thighs, the glide slippery thanks to the copious amount of your essence that’s pooled there.

“Like this?” Hoseok asks, tone too sweet to be anything but mocking. The head of his cock bumps into your swollen bundle of nerves one, two, three times. You keen, your hips canting upwards in a bid to get more friction. “Want to rut against me until you get nice and creamy?”

He uses his right hand to spread your slick lower lips so that he can nestle his cock snuggly between them. He rolls his hips, the undulations fluid and dirty, and smirks at how you moan brokenly beneath him.

Your stomach clenches. “Need it in me."

"You'll get it," he promises after kissing you sloppily, lips sucking on your tongue. His breath is ragged but his voice steady, firm. "I'll give you everything you need. Make you cum so many times you know who owns this sweet pussy."

He speaks so surely, carries himself with so much confidence, that in the moment you can't help but believe him. The line between staged and reality blurs and you find yourself nodding eagerly, begging him as best you can to give you what you want.

The first tentative push of his dick wipes you clean of coherency. He slowly eases himself into you, reaching forward to lace his fingers with yours. It’s - more intimate than you expected. He squeezes your hand tightly in his when he finally manages to bury his entire length inside of you.

“Perfect.” He kisses the side of your temple before drawing back, his hard cock dragging deliciously against you. With a fluid hip thrust, he slides back in and you feel the stretch moreso this time around. The curvature of his cock has him pressing up against your walls in a way that robs you of breath.

"Daddy! Hh - ah, oh God. You're too b-big."

"Mhm, that's right. Daddy's fat cock is splitting you open. I'll plug you up with it later so none of my cum will leak out."

Every time he pulls back, your pussy clamps down tightly around him, unwilling to be empty even for a second.

Hoseok’s nostrils flare in arousal. He grabs your left tit and squeezes, using it as a hold to better fuck into you. With his body hovering above yours, his hand staking claim of your breast, and his cock drilling into you, you have nowhere to go. Pinned to the bed and unable to do anything but take everything he delivers, you wrap your legs around his waist and moan.

"Daddy's gonna fuck some babies into you,” he rasps, his eyes dark pools of lust. "Gonna breed your sweet pussy over and over. You'll be so full of my cum that you'll be pregnant with my babies for sure."

“Oh fuck. Yes, yes - oh my nhhg.” You sob as Hoseok drives his cock into you with more force. While the piston of his hips isn’t rushed, he pulls out to the tip only to slam back in to the hilt every time. The stretch burns in a good way and the sound of your moans are rivaled only by the wet, obscene sounds from your coupling.

"Fuck. Your cunt just - shit." He cracks down a hand against your ass and you shriek, not expecting it. "You're so tight, holy shit."

"Want it. Want you to fuck me good."

"I will," he says lowly, the promise reverberating deep in his chest. "I'll fuck you until you're begging me to stop. Fill you up so much, you'll be bloated with it."

And it should freak you out, the imagery he paints with his words, but the thought of laying there and him fucking you so well that you won't be able to feel your legs has you gushing out more wetness.

"Mmmh.” Maybe he can feel how soaked you are because he comments, “This is my favorite hole of yours, princess. Always so fuckin' drenched. I bet we’ll have to throw out the sheets again." He chuckles. "You must be hungry for it, right? I made you wait so long. No wonder your pussy is clenching like that. It needs a big, fat cock to milk dry."

“I missed it,” you cry, body skidding a little higher up the duvet each time he fucks into you. Your eyelashes flutter, lids heavy. It’s hard to concentrate, let alone form words, when your brain feels like complete mush. “I - I need your cum. Daddy, please.”

"Don't worry, gorgeous. I've got you. Daddy will feed your cute pussy his cock."

"Th-thank you, Daddy."

"Love you," he murmurs. It’s a quiet confession, lost somewhere in between the mattress creaks, the loud slaps of Hoseok’s hips slamming against yours, and the string of whimpers and groans pulled from your throat. It’s quiet but you hear it.

One of your hands reach up to pull him down by the neck so that your lips meet. He kisses you open-mouthed. It’s a filthy kiss, one that makes you moan into his mouth. You’re certain that if you had been standing your knees would have wobbled.

When you let up for air, Hoseok’s staring you down, his red-bitten lips plump and shiny.

"Love this pussy. So sweet and wet for me. Always for fucking swollen, like it's waiting to get a pounding. Love that. Love how eager you are to be bred by my thick cock."

The impregnation kink is - a bit much. You've never really imagined having kids, at least not anytime soon. You can’t even keep your plants alive for fuck’s sake.

But the way he suggests it is nothing like what you had imagined. His suggestions are - vulgar and primal. Like the urge to fuck you full of his cum is biological and he can’t smother it.

For a moment, you let yourself entertain the thought of being his breeding bitch - of laying on your back and letting him fuck load after load of cum inside you until your pussy physically can't accommodate any more. Of not having any other worries or thoughts but take his cock every moment of the day.

"You just got tighter.” He curses under his breath, voice thick with arousal. "Such a warm little hole. Taking everything I give it. You'd take anything if it meant getting bred by me, right?"

“Yes, yes,” you chant, pleasure coiling inside of you. “Give me more! I need it."

"Shit. You can't handle more, princess," he tries to reason. "Daddy needs to be gentle with you. Your hole is so small, it'll hurt if I go harder."

"Daddy promised to fuck me.” You whine, uncaring if you sound too bratty and demanding. "B- Breed my hole. It's yours. Puh-please use me."

"God." Hoseok groans, his features twisting in what looks to be pain or pleasure. With tremendous effort he pulls himself out of you and your eyes widen in panic.

“What? Daddy why? I thought—”

He shushes you, reaching somewhere overhead to grab a fluffy pillow. "Just wait a sec, okay? There you go.”

The pillow is placed underneath your hips, keeping them elevated. When Hoseok takes his glistening cock in hand and directs it back in, you both moan in unison.

"Oh fuck, I’m gonna, ah,” you gasp as your mind goes blank with pleasure. The new angle is heaven on earth. It’s almost too much, too quick, but Hoseok’s firm grip on your hips prevents you from alleviating the pressure.

"Take it." He grunts, brows knit together. Every powerful snap of his hips makes your breasts bounce, your breath hitch. Without his hands keeping you pinned down, your head would have collided with the headboard by now. "Be a good princess and take your fucking."

He gains momentum, the new angle facilitating the slide of his cock. He drags the flat of his palm down your thigh and takes a hold of your knee before hoisting it up over your shoulder. The stretch burns the back of your calves but you’re so fucked out, you can’t even find the words to complain.

When you glance up, it’s to fall upon the sight of Hoseok brushing his sweaty fringe out of his face. His cheeks are flushed pink, his skin dewy from the film of perspiration wrapped around his body. Beads of sweat trickle down his heaving chest but he chooses to forgo a quick break. On the contrary, he pushes in deeper like he’s determined to carve out a permanent space for his cock.

"Just gonna keep you here,” he huffs, his eyes the shade of cloudless night sky. “Everyday I'll fuck my cum back inside of you so that you'll always stay full. Want to fuck you forever. Don't want this to end."

"Want it too," you sob, orgasm hovering just on the periphery. "Want you to keep me full forever. Ugh - oh fuck! Hoseok- I'm—"

"You gonna cum around my cock, princess?" He angles his hips downwards, relishing in the wanton cry it elicits. "Gonna give me everything?"

"I'm yours," you profess, jaw slack with pleasure.

It doesn’t take much more for the orgasm to crash over you, Hoseok fucks you through it, groaning as your inner walls spasm around him. He breathes out curses, lip drawn tight between his lips, and doesn’t wait for the last waves of your orgasm to abate to chase after his own end.

In the throes of your pleasure, it doesn’t register then that Hoseok has been holding back all this time. If you thought he had been fucking you hard before, it’s nothing compared to now. He growls and bends forward, forcing your leg to stretch even more, and pushes in and out of you at a pace that makes you scream.

You don’t even have time to come down from your first high that you’re already thrown towards your second. Hoseok plugs your mouth up using two digits, his fingers a firm pressure against your tongue. Your eyes roll back, too overwhelmed from the feeling of being stuffed on both ends.

“God, I could fuck your holes all fucking day.” His rhythm begins to falter as the pressure inside of him grows, his movements frantic and less controlled than they’ve ever been. “How about that? I’ll fuck my princess’ mouth properly next time, stretch it out nicely. Then you’ll let me have your ass, hm?”

Shit, shit, you whimper around his fingers, spit bubbling down the sides on your mouth. It’s scary knowing you have no way to stop the oncoming destruction.

“Yeah, I can tell you love that. You’re gonna cream my dick again, aren’t you?” You can’t tell if the sound he makes is a laugh or a grunt. All you know is that you feel like you’re about to burst. “C’mon, be a good girl and milk my cum out. You better get every last drop.”

There’s an underlying threat in his command. You do your best to obey his words, not wanting to disappoint.

Hoseok pushes his cock in as deep as it can go and grinds his hips into yours. His cock reaches so deep that you swear he might hit your cervix. And considering the nature of the scene you’re portraying, maybe that’s what he intends.

He swipes his fingers through the mess of your cunt, zeroing in on your sensitive clit. He swirls some of your fluids over it before giving it a sharp pinch that makes you cry out. Your hips fly off the pillow but Hoseok is quick to pin you back down. The never-ending drag of his cock along your walls paired with the rough ministrations to your clit is all you need for the pressure inside you to snap.

Above you, Hoseok moans, low and throaty, as he finally dumps rope after rope of warm cum inside of you. He throws his head back, exposing the collar of purplish bruises you sucked onto his skin earlier. Something about the view satisfies you immensely - not that you’d dare voice these thoughts out loud.

Hoseok’s strength gives out and he sags onto your body, his breath warm against your skin. He feels hot, like a furnace, but strangely it’s not uncomfortable. It’s almost like having a personal heating pad; the soreness of your muscles melts away with each passing moment.

Much to your displeasure, your post-coital bliss doesn’t last forever. He's given the signal to pull out and obeys, careful to keep your hips propped up so that his load of cum won’t slosh out. He’s still got a role to play, after all, and the end goal is to get you pregnant.

A cameraman walks forward to zoom in on your swollen and used pussy - physical proof of your exploits. The haze lifts. You become more aware of the people standing on the outskirts of your vision, lighting or sound equipment in hand.

“And that’s a wrap!” Director Ryu calls, his cheeks stretched to accommodate the width of his grin. “Good job everybody!”

You breathe out a sigh, glad your day is finally over. Seokjin walks up to you with a robe for you to throw on and you nod in thanks, slipping the satin gown over your sweaty body.

Around you, the staff start milling about, putting the equipment away and gathering their belongings. You pay them no heed, your attention focused on getting changing into showering and changing into comfortable clothes. You’re in the middle of taming your messy hair when your stomach erupts into growls, reminding you of your hungry state. What you’d do for a big slice of piz—

You remember your date with Jimin and speed up, not wanting to make him wait around for you any longer. It’s not hard to spot him - he’s waiting outside of your dressing room, can of coke in hand.

Something about his smile feels off.

Maybe it’s the way his eye corners don’t crease or the slight strain the curve of his mouth that betray him.

Your expression falls. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing - it’s nothing, don’t worry,” he says after a short, tense moment of silence. The look on your face must have reflected your feelings of doubt because he proceeds by reaching out and pulling you tight against him. Pressed up against his shirt, you can smell the faintest trace of the fabric softener he uses and its scent, familiar and sweet, mollifies you somewhat. “You did amazing today, baby. As usual.”

The compliment you’ve been waiting for makes the sides of your lips rise automatically. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Almost too well.” He hums, one of his hands stroking the back of your head.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit, “ you admit. “The results wouldn’t have been half as good if Hoseok hadn’t been my partner. He’s new in the game but he doesn’t act like it, does he?”

“He doesn’t, no.” Jimin agrees. “He’s... he’s something, alright.”

Your grin widens. All your worrying had been for nothing, in the end. The shoot had gone without a hitch, all of the set members coming up to you with praises of a job well done. You can’t recall the last time any of your performances had elicited such a response post-filming. Even Director Ryu looks particularly pleased, a permanent grin etched onto his features as he reviews the tapes. The knowledge that you’ve done well fills you with a pleasant giddiness that warms your insides and makes your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile stretches.

“Oh good, you’re still here.” Hoseok beams. A damp towel hangs around his neck and the ends of his hair are wet like he’s just gone and doused his head under the bathroom faucet. “I was worried you had left. I just - thanks for earlier. I had a lot of fun! If the chance presents itself, I hope we can work together again.”

“Thank you.” You want to praise him too, know that his performance deserves it, but your next words are cut off before they have the chance to form. Jimin steps closer to you, his grip on your hip tightening suddenly.

When you glance up to check on your boyfriend, he’s sporting a serious expression that you’ve rarely seen before. He doesn’t look angry, but it’s clear as day that he isn’t too pleased with the present situation. His face is closed off, cold, unwelcoming - so drastically different from the usual cherubic sweetness you’re accustomed to seeing.

You’re at a loss for words, unsure of who to address first. What’s going on?

Hoseok senses the sudden change in atmosphere and chooses to tactfully retreat.

“Good work, man.” He nods at Jimin and then shoots you a wave. “See you around sometime, ______ !”

Your eyes follow his exit before you turn to face Jimin again, hoping the smile on your face masks the worry you feel bubbling on the inside.

“Jimin what - I mean, are you sure you're okay?”

Jimin returns a strained smile of his own. “I’m fine.”

Your gaze lands on his right hand that’s still squeezing your waist. It borders on uncomfortable but you try not to let it show. You must not do a very good job at schooling your features because Jimin quickly apologizes for his behavior.

“Sorry.” Jimin lets you go once he notices your discomfort. “I just - I don’t know. You’re right, I’m not acting like myself. I think...seeing you say that stuff and act that way just - I’m not sure why, I guess - Since usually the sex isn’t like that, it caught me off guard.”

“You didn’t like that I acted like I was in love with him.”

“Would anyone?” he shoots back, smile sardonic. “It just looked so convincing in the moment. I guess it got me worked up.”

Sure, Hoseok is hot. If you had to work with him again, you would in a heartbeat. It’s not often you land a colleague you’re so sexually compatible with, who also happens to be so well-mannered and good-looking. It’s like hitting the jackpot, really.

But - just because you’d fuck him again for professional reasons, doesn’t mean that you’re interested in him beyond that.

“Jimin. I don’t want to be with anybody else but you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” The muscles in his face relax. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

It’s not until later, as he fucks you uncharacteristically hard in the backseat of his car parked in the back lot of the film studio, that you begin to wonder if things really are as idyllic as you believe them to be.

#wow so this took a decade and a half to finish but it's finally here !#final part should be up by the end of the month : )#bts smut #hoseok smut #hoseok #also warning i didn't proofread the smut scene yet so rip if there are any mistakes

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years ago

Text

six feet apart ~ jeff wittek

word count: 1320

request?: no

description: after postponing their first date for months due to a global pandemic, he comes up with a plan to finally make it happen

pairing: jeff wittek x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

The worst time to try and start dating someone new is right before a pandemic.

I decided to say fuck it and finally download Tinder. It was a strange experience, and I was sure for some time that it wasn’t going to work. But, just as I decided to delete my profile and the app, I got a notification that I had matched with someone and he had already sent me a message.

A picture of a very attractive guy popped up next to his name, Jeff Wittek. I had expected some sort of gross pick up line about wanting to fuck me, so I was pleasantly shocked to see it was a very simple, “Hi :)”.

We talked for weeks, eventually exchanging our phone numbers as well. I was really starting to like Jeff. We were trying to plan our first date when the news hit that basically the whole world was going into lockdown and quarantine to try and combat the recent pandemic. That meant that you couldn’t leave your house unless absloutely necessary, meaning either to get groceries or to go to work. You couldn’t even go to your family’s place to see them unless you were quarantining together.

So yeah, you could say I picked a bad time to try and start a relationship.

Jeff and I kept in contact, but it was starting to get hard not being able to actually see him and to pursue the relationship properly. There was no telling when the lockdown would end, or when it would be safe to go outside, so there was no telling when I’d actually be able to meet him.

I was sat at home one day, binge watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine for about the tenth time since quarantine started, when I heard a knock on my door. I was confused considering no one was supposed to be at my house, and decided to ignore it at first, until I got a text from Jeff that read, “Come answer your door”.

I practically jumped out of my seat and raced to the front door. When I opened it, I found a picnic basket on my doorstep and Jeff sitting on my lawn on a blanket with a basket of his own.

“Don’t worry, I disinfected it before knocking,” he told me as I stepped out of my house.

“What is this?” I asked, sitting on the step and taking the basket onto my lap.

“I’m tired of waiting for our first date,” he said. “And I’m not waiting until 2021 to finally meet you face to face. So, I decided to plan a social distance date - a picnic at six feet apart.”

I opened the basket and looked inside. There was sandwiches, a bottle of water, a juice box, a can of Mountain Dew, some candy, and a few fruits.

“I don’t know what kind of stuff you like,” Jeff explained, “besides the Mountain Dew, so I made basically one of every sandwich, threw in whatever fruit I had, and a bunch of drinks so you could have your pick of whatever.”

“I’ll eat just about anything,” I responded. “This is so sweet. Thank you.”

Jeff shrugged as he began to eat his first sandwich. “It was nothing.”

We were silent for some time as we began to eat. I wasn’t sure what to really talk about. Jeff and I had talked about just about everything through text, leaving it hard to talk about anything on our actual first date.

After some silent eating, Jeff finally asked, “So, how’s your quarantine going?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Kinda shitty. I’m all alone in the house, can’t go out anywhere, can’t see my friends, can’t go to work. I thought I’d love having endless time off, but it turns out I’m dying to get back to work as soon as everything ends.”

Jeff chuckled as well. “Sounds rough. At least I can technically work, even if I’m not filming my usual videos, but I understand not being able to see anyone. It’s just me and Nerf in my apartment, but I’ve been video calling my friends every so often so I don’t lose my mind.”

“Video calling only does so much it feels,” I admitted. “Even this feels...”

“Like so much?” Jeff suggested. I sighed and nodded. “I know. It really sucks. I’d love to be able to go out with you somewhere, or even have you over to my apartment.”

I rested my head in my hand and looked at Jeff. “What do you think we would’ve done after for our first date? We never really finalized the decision for it.”

The smile on his face made my heart beat faster and my stomach fill with butterflies. I couldn’t help but mirror it myself.

“I would’ve liked to take you somewhere nice,” he responded. “Somewhere that you’d be impressed with how much money I would be willing to spend on our first date.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Money doesn’t really impress me. I’d just feel bad that you would’ve spent that much on me.”

“Okay, noted. I still would’ve taken you to a nice restaurant, maybe go for a drive afterwards. It’s not a new sports car, but my truck is one of my pride and joys. I love showing it off at every moment.”

I looked up at Jeff’s old fashioned looking truck. I could see why he liked to show it off, it was a nice truck.

“I’m not into fancy sports cars either,” I said. “We could’ve went and gotten take out and went for a drive and that would’ve sufficed for me.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me, then,” Jeff decided. “So, when this whole thing is over, I’ll take you out for a drive in my truck.”

I smiled and looked down at my food, hoping to hide the blush that was creeping up on my face. Of course, I had never been in a situation like a global pandemic that led to a lockdown before, but in any case, I couldn’t remember a time when a guy went out of his way to do anything for me, let alone to set up a picnic date, and was willing to do simple dates instead of extravagant ones to try and impress me.

“You know what I really wish we could do right now?” I asked.

“What?” Jeff asked.

“I wish I could kiss you.”

We both looked at each other in silence for some time. I couldn’t believe I had said that, but it was what was on my mind. I did want to kiss Jeff, especially after talking for so long and now finally being able to see him face to face.

A small smile spread on his face as he admitted, “Yeah, I wish I could kiss you, too. Although, I’d probably be so awkward to try and make the first move.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “You awkward? You’re like the hottest guy ever, I don’t know what you’d have to be nervous for.”

He laughed. “Well, I guess. I just worry about trying to kiss a girl at the wrong time, like she’s not ready for it, or just being bad at kissing. I haven’t gotten any bad reviews yet, though, so I shouldn’t worry about that.”

I chuckled. “Okay, fair point. Well, let’s just put it out there now: when we go on our first date, if you get the urge to kiss me, just do it. I definitely won’t turn you away. Quite the opposite, really.”

“Really?” I nodded in response, smiling at him. Jeff smiled back. “Okay, deal. Our first non-social distancing date, I’m gonna lay one on you the minute you get in my truck.”

I laughed, but inside I was wishing that moment could come sooner. But I knew the wait was going to make the kiss even better.

#jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek x reader #the vlog squad #vlog squad #vlog #vlog squad imagine #imagine #one shot

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maluminspace · 5 years ago

Text

Genre: Soulmate au/fluff/smut

Pairings: Michael Clifford/Female Reader

Word Count: 5.6k

Dedicated to: @h0tsos and @5-secondsofcolor

Trigger Warnings: strong language, moderate sexual content

Content: male masturbation, references to blowobs, references to anal sex

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write a soulmate au for a long time. It took me a while to figure out what tropes and stuff I wanted to use but I hope you enjoy what I ended up with! 💕 special thanks to Steff and Alma for helping me with this and putting up with my long rambling plans for it 😂 I love you both 🥰

***

“What the fuck, Luke?” Michael grumbles, pulling his duvet over his head to block out the sunlight. “I don’t have work today… Fuck off!”

He’s been talking about how excited he was to sped his Saturday in bed, all fucking week. There’s not a chance in hell that Luke could be confused. He has no excuse at all to be waking Michael up.

“It’s almost noon, Mike.” Luke huffs defiantly. “You promised you’d help me tidy up the apartment and then disappear so that I can bring that girl home.” He yanks the duvet cover off of Michael mercilessly before dropping it on the ground at the foot of his roommate’s bed.

Letting out an annoyed and frustrated growl, Michael kicks his legs like a stroppy toddler for a moment before finally forcing one of his pretty green eyes open. “I said fuck off!” He repeats, “I swear to god, with the week I’ve had, I would not rule out murdering you today, Hemmings.”

The younger roommate rolls his eyes impatiently, which only annoys Michael even more. “If you murdered me, you’d have no friends.” He states, a tiny smirk playing at the corners of his lips before he turns towards the door. “If you’re not in the kitchen in ten minutes, I’m gonna come back with a jug of freezing cold water.”

Unfortunately, Michael knows that’s not an empty threat. He’d made the mistake of believing his best friend wouldn’t douse him ice water once before… It’d taken him all day to warm up after that incident. He definitely doesn’t want a repeat of it, even if he’d like nothing more than to grab his duvet from the ground and go back to sleep.

It takes at least half of Luke’s stated time limit for Michael to roll out of bed. He wasn’t lying when he said it’d been a tough week for him. After spending the majority of it working with a band he can’t stand, the idea of his ‘duvet day’ had been the entire motivation to get him through.

Needless to say, Michael’s not in the best of moods when he finally sloped into the kitchen a few minutes later. The tiled floor is cold on his bare feet and he growls miserably as he throws open a cupboard in search of some form of sustenance.

“I made you a fruit tea.” Luke offers, gesturing towards a steaming mug on the countertop near the sink. “You can take it into the sitting room if you want, I’ll make you some toast or something.”

Michael scoffs at the kind gestures. “I don’t want your fucking toast. I want something sweet and I want to sleep, but you made damn sure that wasn’t happening.”

“Mate…” Luke sighs, already showing signs of exasperation. “It’s almost midday and the apartment is a dump! I can’t bring my date back here if it stays like this.”

Deciding that a sugary cereal is the only hope to lighten his mood, Michael pulls the half empty box of fruit loops from the cupboard and swings the door hard enough to result in an almost satisfyingly loud bang. “So what?” He asks, grabbing a bowl from the drying rack next to the sink. “I don’t even know why you bother ‘dating’. We’re all assigned a soulmate at birth, right? So what’s the point in trying to make a relationship work with someone you know you’re not ‘meant’ to be with?”

Michael knows that there’s an obvious answer to that question. No one ever knows when they’ll meet their soulmate, there’s no magical clock counting down to that life altering moment. There’s no mysterious tattoos or markings to help you find them either. You just have to wait until you hear that stranger’s voice in your own head and there’s no way on earth of knowing when it’ll happen. The unpredictability of the system means that an individual could spend a hefty portion of their life as a singleton. For this reason, many people choose to ignore the fact that their ‘one’ is waiting for them somewhere, focusing on their own sexual and companionship needs instead.

Michael has never been one of those people. Sure, he’d jump into bed with a random stranger from time to time. He never once pretended that the connection would be anything more than physical, though. Most adults have sexual needs and he’s only ever seeked out like-minded people that wanted a quick fuck just to satisfy their urges. His emotions are always locked up and buried deep within him, there’s only one person out there who he’ll ever share them with and he’s still yet to meet them.

“I’m not having this conversation with you again, Michael.” Luke grumbles, handing his roommate a carton of milk from the fridge. “Especially when you’re in such a foul mood.”

Snatching the milk from his friend, Michael pours it over his cereal and grabs a spoon from the cutlery drawer. “Well, who’s fault is that?” The slightly older man snipes. “I’d still be asleep if it wasn’t for you. The least you can do is answer my fucking question.”

Luke’s broad shoulders slump, a dejected gesture that almost makes Michael feel guilty for pushing the subject. He knows full well that he’s being a dick on purpose. Michael has always known that his friend hates the soulmate system. He loathes the waiting and most of all he just can’t stand being alone. Luke’s never been able to keep his feelings in check, it’s like he’s not capable of keeping things casual, he needs a deeper connection. “You know why, Mike.” Luke sighs, “I’ve read plenty of news articles about people that have never found their soulmate for one reason or another. With every day that goes by, I feel like my chances of having a decent amount of time with them, or meeting them at all get smaller and smaller.”

Part of Michael sympathies with his roommate. He’d be lying if he said he’d never lay awake at night worrying that he’d never meet his ‘one’. As much as he’d like to set his bad mood aside and offer Luke some words of comfort, he’s still incredibly sleep deprived and angry. His less than kind words spill from his lips before the better side of him can stop them. “You’re 24, Luke! Get a grip… it’s far too early to assume you’ll never meet your soulmate.”

A hint of rare anger burns in Luke’s eyes for a second before it’s replaced by an all-too-familiar sadness. “I’ve always had this feeling that I’ll never find them, Mike.” He admits, tapping his chest to emphasise his point. “I don’t have the same faith in the system as you do. Dating randomers might not be ideal, but I need more than just sex to get by. I need to feel close to someone.”

The pained expression on Luke’s face finally pulls out a shred of Michael’s decency. No amount of anger or lack of sleep is worth making Luke feel this way. He places his cereal down on the counter before reaching out to place his hand in his friend’s shoulder. “You will find them, Luke.” He reassures gently. “There's no way that I can promise you when it’ll happen but I just know that it will. No one deserves to find their soulmate young as much as you do.”

A humourless laugh escapes Luke as he pulls his friend into a hug. “I wish I shared that certainty with you, buddy.”

***

In an attempt to make up for his earlier behaviour. Michael spends the next two hours working through every chore that Luke asks him to do and more besides. By the time he’s finally ready to take a well deserved shower, he’s pretty sure that Luke’s feeling a bit better about everything. Of course Michael has been sure to drop as many reassuring comments as possible to help dispel his friend’s lingering doubt about finding his soulmate.

Before heading to the bathroom, Michael picks up his phone from his bedside table to check his emails. Even on his days off, he can’t fully disengage his brain from his work. Music has always been his biggest passion, so working in a recording studio is ideal for him. Most of the time he enjoys being locked up in his little room, helping all kinds of musicians accomplish their visions.

This week has been pretty tough, though. A bunch of primadonnas in leather waistcoats and bandannas have spent every day trying to make his life a misery. Luckily, the email that Michael had been hoping for is waiting in his inbox when he opens the app on his phone. His colleague, Ashton Irwin, had messaged to let him know that ‘the fucking band of shitheads’ had fallen out with each other and stormed off, forfeiting the rest of their studio time.

It’s with a lighter heart and a tiny smile that Michael steps into the shower a few moments later. It doesn’t take too long though, for Michael to start thinking over the whole soulmate thing. He’s always had complete faith in the system but that ache that Luke sometimes talks about, the constant weight of doubt in his chest, has started to resonate with the slightly older man.

Maybe I just need to get laid

As soon as the thought pops into his head, Michael convinces himself that’s all he needs. Whenever loneliness starts to show it’s ugly face, jumping into bed with the next hot person he comes into contact with is always the perfect solution.

After making his mind up to head to his favourite bar as soon as possible, Michael attempts to empty his head, allowing the warm water washing over his skin to soothe his mind.

One of his favourite ways to distract himself is, of course jerking off, and it doesn’t take long for his body to start reacting in the typical way once the idea pops into his mind. His neglected cock hardens as he strokes it gently, conjuring up thoughts of some of his favourite recent sexual encounters. The first thing that enters his head is the incredibly pretty girl that had sucked him off in the bathroom of the club he’d ventured to last week, the way her painted red lips wrapped around his long, thick length as he gripped her hair needily. Michael bites his bottom lip in an attempt to stifle his moans as his mind drifts to the hot, muscular guy that had fucked him senseless in his apartment a month or so ago, they hadn’t even made it to the bedroom, both of them too desperate to satisfy their sexual needs to spare the extra seconds it would have taken to reach the comfort of the stranger’s bed. Luckily the man had condoms and lube in the pocket of his leather jacket, meaning that they had everything they needed right there on the couch in his living room. It’s impossible for Michael to hold in the gasp that escapes him as he steadies himself with one hand pressed against the cold tiled walls of the shower cubicle, whilst the other picks up speed, causing all the friction he needs on his achingly hard cock. He knows it won’t take long to reach his climax now as his mind flicks between the girl in the bathroom and muscular stranger, remembering every sensation and every sound from both occasions. The way ‘red lips’ had moaned around his cock as it hit the back of her throat, the way ‘muscles’ had groaned “so tight babe” as he’d rocked his sinful hips into Michael at a relentless speed. A quiet “fuck” escapes Michael’s lips as his finger tips press harder into the tiles. His orgasm is fast approaching when he remembers the way red lips had pulled off of him just long enough to tell him to cum down her throat, her voice scratchy and weak. Her face is instantly replaced with the sensation of muscles’ tongue dragging over the most sensitive spot of his neck.

Why can’t you keep the fucking noise down, asshole, I don’t care about how much you love getting fucked by hot guys…

The voice in his head isn’t the one that usually berates him for being a slut. It’s a female voice, and an unfamiliar one at that. He’s too caught up in the moment to think too hard on the intrusion and by the time he realises that the voice in his head doesn’t belong to him at all, it’s too late to stop. His orgasm crashes over him in the same moment that the new voice adopts a distraught tone.

Holy Shit

Michael spills all over his hand with the fresh realisation that his soulmate is nearby, echoing through his foggy mind.

Did you just… Oh my god!

“I’m sorry!” Michael whimpers out loud, hastily turning off the shower with a shaking hand. “Can’t you get out of my fucking head, while I try to process this and possibly die of embarrassment?”

I don’t know how to, genius! I never expected this to happen today, I… holy fuck, this is so messed up! I just heard you cum and I don’t even know your name, I haven’t even seen your face and you’re my fucking soulmate…

This is all too much. Michael can’t even begin to think about everything that just happened in the last few moments. His soulmate is in his building. The person he was always meant to be with is somewhere very close by and she appeared in his head at the very moment he climaxed thinking about being fucked by the hottest guy he’d ever met. Of all the ways to meet your soulmate…

His head is still spinning as he staggers out of the shower and grabs the fluffy bath towel from the rail on the wall. How on earth is he meant to set this situation right?

I guess you can start by meeting me face to face? We should start getting to know each other if we have to spend the rest of our lives together.

But you just heard me… Michael babbles silently, unable to keep his thoughts in his head. I’m the fucking worst soulmate you could have ever imagined, I…

You weren’t to know. Neither of us were. It’ll make a funny story for your wedding speech, at least!

Michael feels the blood drain from his face as the reality of the situation crashes down around him. His casual, carefree lifestyle has ended, just like that, no warning, no preamble. He’s found his soulmate and his life just changed forever. I can’t meet you face to face now… Michael sighs. Fuck, I wish the earth would just swallow me up right now.

A soft laugh echoes through his mind. It’s not a mocking one or anything, in fact it’s probably the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

So what if I popped into your head when you were jerking off? We all do it… I just want to see you! I’ve been waiting my whole life for this, aren’t you curious to see me too?

Of course I am! Michael groans, padding out of the bathroom and down the hallway to his bedroom. I just… how am I meant to look you in the eye now?

That musical laugh rings through his mind once more as he perches on the end of his bed.

Hey, at least I already know a couple of things you’re into!

Michael knows that it’s meant to be a joke but he groans, still feeling utterly embarrassed. I just wish this had happened differently.

I don’t. I always hoped that when I heard my soulmate’s thoughts for the first time, that they’d be thinking something fun or sexy. You really delivered!

Michael lets out a tiny laugh, still aware that his cheeks are burning. And here I was thinking that was the worst ‘first bonding’ of all time.

It’s embarrassing for you, but hilarious for me! I promise I won’t tease you about it for the rest of your life if you just get your ass to apartment 309 ASAP so I can see what you look like!

You’re lying. Michael laughs, suddenly aware that the bond between his own mind and his soulmate’s is deeper than he first realised. He could hear her faintest thoughts, those ‘barely there’ little wisps of memories, plans or realisations. You fully plan to bring this up once a day for the rest of our lives.

Fuck! I hate that you can hear everything that goes on in my head! I guess we need to do some research on how to control this thing, huh?

Michael couldn’t agree more. He’s been waiting his whole life to find his soulmate, but knowing that this person can get into his mind whenever they’re within a certain radius, is a scary thought. There’s certain things he doesn’t want his soulmate to know too much about, especially so early on in their relationship. Fuck, we don’t even have a relationship yet…

We’ve been assigned to each other from birth, this is destiny. Let’s get this first meeting over with, yeah? I’ll be in apartment..

309? Yeah you said! Michael chuckles, his nerves making it hard for him to control how his words take form. Just let me get dressed and I’ll be right there.

***

“Are you okay?” Georgia, your best friend, asks timidly when she opens the front door of her apartment. It’s an open-plan layout and the living area is still filled with unopened boxes of her belongings and flat-packed furniture. You’re meant to be helping her move into this new apartment but your plans seem to have suddenly changed. “You look pale as fuck…” Your best friend’s grey-blue eyes sparkle with concern as she regards you carefully.

“Yeah… I uh…” you stammer, still trying to wrap your head around what’s just happened. “I just… My soulmate’s coming over here in a minute, as soon as I walked in the building I heard him in my head...”

“WHAT?” Georgia’s eyes suddenly resemble saucers as she leads you over to the sofa in the centre of the room. “Your soulmate lives in this building?”

You nod your head uncertainly. “I guess so, yeah.”

Georgia pulls you down onto the sofa next to her before taking your hand excitedly. “So what do you know about him? When is he getting here? Shit, you need to change your outfit.” She rambles, leaping to her feet. “Come on, I haven’t unpacked most of my clothes yet but I have a couple of suitcases that we can ransack.”

Before you even have a chance to answer any of her questions, your best friend whisks you off the sofa towards one of the doors set into the wall opposite the kitchenette. She’s still muttering under her breath even when the two of you stumble into her bedroom.

“Georgie…” You groan. “He’s my soulmate, I want him to know the real me from the start, he’s in my head anyway, he’ll know that your pretty clothes aren’t my real style.”

So you’re not into pretty clothes then?

“Shit.” You curse, feeling a blush rise in your cheeks. “I hate that he’s still in my head! I cannot wait to figure out how we can control this shit…”

“He’s in your head right now?” Georgia asks, dropping the crop top she’d just pulled from a suitcase onto her bed. “That’s fucking weird and creepy, can he go away?”

You shake your head. “You have no idea…” the very recent memory of your soulmate’s sexual fantasies pop into your brain as you cover your face with your hands. “Wait ‘til I tell you about the moment I burst into his mind.”

Georgia eyes you curiously, perching in the foot of her bed, all of her intentions of finding you a new outfit seemingly forgotten. “What happened?”

As much as you want to share the horrific story, you know that there’s not enough time. Your soulmate will be here any moment and you can’t even panic properly because he knows everything you’re fucking thinking and feeling.

Oh god! Please don’t tell your friend what just happened…

The pleading in your soulmate’s psychic voice is too adorable to ignore or disobey. He’s genuinely mortified by the whole experience, you can feel his embarrassment deep within your own bones as though it’s your own. You really had no idea how fast and deep the soulmate connection would happen, nothing could have ever prepared you for this and you know that your soulmate feels the same, his emotions are finely tuned into yours now. “I’ll have to tell you another time, Georgie, he’ll be here any minute.”

Your best friend nods understandingly, although there’s a definite note of disappointment in her tone when she speaks again. “So are the two of you gonna go somewhere together? If you wanna stay here, I can stay in my room, it’ll give me an excuse to unpack my clothes instead of putting together that ikea furniture…”

“That’s sweet of you, Georgie but I think we’ll probably go out somewhere. I guess this will be my last first date ever…” You smile, although the fear that stirs up in you is undeniable. You can feel the emotion that it conjures up in your soulmate too, but it’s not quite fear or sadness.

He’s trying hard to hide the real reason for his ambiguous emotion and you don’t want to pry. Being in his head is strange enough as it is, you don’t want to learn things about him now that he’s not ready to share. Despite your psychic bond, you need to earn each other’s trust and the rights to any secrets you both may be hiding.

“Wow that’s got to feel really weird.” Georgia huffs, becoming lost in her own thoughts for a moment.

You nod, wrapping your arms around yourself for a little comfort.

Can I meet you in the lobby instead of at your friend’s place? I’d kinda like our first meeting to be on neutral ground, y’know?

“Whenever I imagined meeting my soulmate for the first time, it was always somewhere beautiful or fun.” You mutter out loud. “Not in the tired old lobby of an apartment building my best friend just moved in to.”

“Hey, this is a nice place!” Georgia argues, her pretty face twisting into a defiant expression.

There’s no reason why we can’t do that. Just pick a time and a place and I’ll be there...

Knowing that your soulmate is in the same building as you right now is so tempting. You want to meet him in person more than anything. Yet, the thought of waiting just a little linger in order to make it perfect, wins you over.

There’s a park a few blocks away, do you know it? You ask, instinctively wondering back into the main living area of the apartment. It’s got a little lake surrounded by blossom trees, it’s always really pretty at this time of year. Could we meet there?

Sure, what time?

Umm, I can be there in a half hour or so, does that work for you?

That’s perfect, should we exchange phone numbers just in case?

You agree and tell him your name and number. The thudding of his heart and the joy he feels deep within him, resonates with you as you take your own phone from the pocket of your jeans. His text pings through just a second later, it’s a simple message consisting of a tree, a sparkly heart and a boy/girl couple emoji. What’s your name, you big sap? You chuckle, the growing fondness in your chest becoming more undeniable by the second.

Oh I didn’t tell you already?

His tone is mocking but it’s entirely clear that his feelings for you match the ones you’re developing for him.

It’s Michael… See you in a half hour, blossom.

***

You’ve been fighting a constant battle against your never since the second you’d walked out of Georgia’s apartment building. Now that you’re free from your soulmate’s unintentional intrusion, you start to allow all of your fears and insecurities about the whole situation into your mind.

Visions of how badly you are likely to fuck this up run through your brain unhindered, during your fifteen minute walk to the park. You’re so caught up in your scary thoughts that you arrive at your destination on autopilot, dropping into the first free bench you find, luckily it’s beneath one of your beloved blossom trees.

You’re only sitting there with your own thoughts for a few minutes before your soulmate’s psychic, nervous blabbering fills your mind. “Michael?” You whisper, your tone a perfect mixture of fear and excitement.

Fuck, you’re here already, blossom?

Yeah, I guess my nerves made me walk faster than I usually would. You’re early too, though!

Yeah… I kinda wanted to beat you here so that I could have a few minutes to think about what to say to you. The least I can do is give you a good first impression when we meet in person, seeing as our first psychic bond was such a disaster.

The embarrassment in his tone is obvious and it almost makes you feel a little sorry for him. It could have been worse. You giggle, your urge to tease him a tiny bit more winning out.

Yeah, for you maybe…You giggle a little bit longer before taking a deep breath. Okay, I’m on a bench under one of the blossom trees. I’m wearing blue skinny jeans and a leather jacket, can you see me?

Shit… Yeah, I see you blossom. I… fuck, how do you wanna do this? Should I walk over and sit next to you or…

Before he has a chance to finish his sentence you scan all of the faces of the people on other benches and those walking along the path in front of you beside the lake. None of them seem to be paying any attention to you but you can tell by the nervousness in your soulmate’s thoughts that he can see you. Without another second’s hesitation, you turn your head towards the little expanse of grass behind your bench.

Your heart stammers in your chest as your gaze is met with a pair of beautiful, albeit startled, green eyes. Some deep, almost primal instinct tells you that this is him. This is your soulmate.

He’s not at all what you’d ever expected. In fact, part of you had always believed you were an exception to the rule, that you didn’t have a soulmate. Yet here is a beautiful, slightly awkward angel of a man who you’re deeply bonded with in every way. “Michael?” Your voice is barely a whisper and there’s no way he’d hear it over the rustling of the leaves above his head and the excited laughter of the children playing near the lake. But he hears you in his head as a bright smile curls the corners of his impossibly pink lips.

Michael nods as he tucks a loose strand of his bleached blonde hair behind his ear. His cheeks heat up under your gaze and he looks much shier than you had expected him to be, especially given the thoughts that you’d intruded upon a little while ago.

A flashback of the horrific moment that you’d burst into his brain earlier, runs through his mind as his cheeks burn even brighter.

Before Michael can apologise, you slowly rise to your feet and force your legs to step closer to him. “You don’t have to be sorry, our first interaction was just bad timing.”

A tiny chuckle escapes Michael as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. “I just hate that that’s the first thing you knew about me.”

“That you like blowjobs and getting fucked?” You reply, giggling again. “I’d have known those things the second I laid eyes on you anyway.”

A shocked laugh bursts out of your soulmate as he frantically tries to think of the best way to respond to your blunt words.

“Don’t worry I’ve filed them away for future reference.” You smirk, loving the way that Michael squirms needily. “We should probably get to know each other a bit better first, though.”

Michael agrees easily, regarding you with a degree of admiration that you’d never experienced before. “Sounds like a good idea, blossom. How about I buy you an ice cream and we exchange childhood stories before we head to the library and start looking into this mind reading stuff?”

Humming your agreement, you make the bold decision to reach for his hand. It’s odd that a part of your dynamic has developed so quickly, but there’s no denying that Michael’s shyness and awkwardness far outweighs your own. That’s not a problem, though, you’re happy to take the lead for now.

Michael gives you a lopsided grin as he accepts your hand, suppressing the trembles that threaten to overcome him as your skin touches his for the first time.

Of course you share the intense emotions and physical effects, but you seem to be able to control them a bit better than he can. You can’t help but find him utterly adorable.

***

Michael still can’t believe this is happening. Less than an hour ago, he never would have believed that today would be the day he’d meet his soulmate. Here you are, though, walking beside him, attempting to eat an ice cream cone before it melts all over your hand.

It’s amazing to him, just how perfect for him you are. Sure, he’s always known that soulmates are chosen for each other based on their compatibility in many different areas, but he’d never thought that it was possible to fall for you as hard and fast as he has done.

“So your roommate, Luke…” You ponder our lout. “He’s your best friend?”

Michael nods distractedly as he focuses on the way that you drag your tongue over the soft ice cream in your hand. “We’ve known each other for years.”

Even if you haven’t noticed the way that Michael’s been staring at you, there’s not a single chance that you can’t hear his increasingly lustful thoughts. He’s faintly aware of that fact but it’s impossible for him to stop thinking about how much he wants to feel your mouth against his.

“Did you tell him about me before you came out to meet me?” You ask curiously, your cheeks turning pink as your gaze drifts to Michael's lips.

The blonde man shakes his head. “He was busy getting ready for a date, I didn’t want to overshadow his moment.”

Your silent awww echoes through Michael’s brain for a moment as he tries to distract himself by eating his own ice cream. He can’t stop the smile that curls his lips as your subconscious yearning to feel his tongue on your skin reaches his mind. It’s closely followed by your embarrassment as you clearly realise that he knows what you're thinking about.

“This being in each other’s head thing is absolutely the worst idea in the world.” You groan, trying to hide your face behind your ice cream as best you can.

Michael’s heart kind of melts at how adorable you look and his urge to kiss you is more overwhelming than ever. It’s clear by the way you hesitantly meet his gaze that you can feel how much he wants it, just as he can sense how much you want it to happen as well. “I dunno…” he smiles gently. “It’s embarrassing and it feels a bit weird, but you have to admit how incredible it feels to be so deeply connected to someone. It’s like… I’ve never felt less alone, y’know?”

You nod thoughtfully as you take another lick of your ice cream. “Yeah… it’s nice to know that we communicate on a whole different level. I’m excited to learn how to control it, though! There are still things I don’t want you to learn about me just yet.”

It feels strange to Michael that there are things you want to withhold from him, albeit temporarily, because he already sort of feels like he knows you better than he’s ever known anyone else. In the hour or so since you’d popped into his brain, it’s like two of you have formed a deep, unbreakable bond, like there’s an invisible force connecting him to you and it’s simultaneously the most exciting and the most terrifying feeling he’s ever experienced.

Maybe it’s that moment of confusion and vulnerability that leads you to take the step that Michael’s been too shy to take since the two of you first met in person. His breath hitches in his throat as you stop walking and cup his cheek gently in your free hand. He knows what's about to happen, he’d have known even he couldn’t hear your thoughts. The intensity in your eyes and the slight tremble in your fingers make it obvious and Michael’s nervous anticipation reaches an all time high in the seconds before you close the gap between your lips and his.

***

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

Text

Survey #466

“she is the butcher, she wants the air / she hides the scars under her hair”

Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. What do you do when you’re pissed off? Isolate and cry. Have you ever had unprotected sex? Good luck catchin' me do that. What did your mother study at university? Social work. What was the last thing you took a video of? I have zero idea. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid weather can actually fuck off. What was the last housework you did? Does changing my cat's litter count? Have you ever had famous neighbors? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? Nope. Have you ever actually drank warm milk? NO EW EW EW EW EW Do you talk to your pets? If you don't, are you REALLY a pet parent??????? Who is a famous person you could see yourself reading a biography about? He's always said he doesn't want to but I really hope Mark writes an autobiography one day alskdjklafjw;ejr Are there any numbers you dislike for any reason? No. What skill that you have do you make most use of? idk man Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Nah. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? No. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Sometimes/some places yes, other times/places, no. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? It would probably change with what I'm feeling, but I lean towards a nice center piece brownie. :^) If you’re out late, where are you likely to be? This literally never happens. Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Our mall is lame as fuck. It definitely doesn't have one. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Mark, lmao. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Politics. Have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? "Confined" seems like a strong word, but a nurse did give me one at the doctor's office when I massively tore a ligament in my foot and could barely walk at all. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? Don't remind me that I don't have a job. Have you told anyone you love them today? Not yet, but I'm sure I will later. Have you ever worked in an office? No, but I guess that's what I'm going to wind up going for once I'm ready to job-hunt again... It feels sad that I'm actually aiming for the cubicle life now just because my interaction with people would be much more limited than with most other jobs. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? My mom. Do you prefer margarine or butter, and why? I don't even know if I'd recognize the taste difference. Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? No. Do you have any strange fears or phobias that you’re embarrassed of? That I'm embarrassed of, no. Can you smell anything right now? No. Have you ever tried coconut water? No. Which Asian country would you like to visit the most? Idk. Maybe Japan? How old were your parents when they got engaged? I have no idea. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. If so, would you be prepared to perform CPR if necessary? No. Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room? No. Just the idea grosses me out. Where is your next vacation? Couldn't tell ya, buddy. Which are better black or green olives? I'm not a fan of black olives, and I won't even TRY green ones. They just look so fucking disgusting to me. Does your car have a backup camera? Mom's doesn't. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? No. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water? Essentia. Is your skin more oily, dry, or combination? It's a combination depending on the location. Where did you meet your current significant other? High school band. What kind of house do you wish you lived in? One that's in the woods. What was the last compliment you received from an old lady? I don't have a clue. Do you know how to cut hair? Properly, no. Have you ever had a classmate die? I believe maybe once? If you have a song stuck in your head, what is it? I recently discovered "Foxy, Foxy" by Rob Zombie and it's Good Stuff. Do you tend to space out a lot? Very much so. What people have changed your life for the better? My parents, my psychiatrist, a PHP therapist, Sara, debatably Jason... Have you ever had any kind of dangerous addiction? What’s this addiction? Caffeine, I guess. Are your parents still married, divorced, or split up? Like this decision? They're divorced, and while it sucks for your parents to split up, it's a decision that I definitely approve of given all they ever did was fight when I was growing up. Them staying together would've been very destructive. Have you ever heard of Hollywood Undead? Do you like them? Well yeah, and I like a large number of songs to where I'd consider myself a fan. I actually had a shirt in high school. Has anyone ever called you a coward before? Who called you that? I don't believe so. Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Do you think he’s awesome/dumb? Honestly, yes. Like he's done dumb shit, but has more than sufficiently apologized for it in my opinion and changed his behavior for the better. I also - astonishingly - like his music quite a bit. As well, his work ethic is fucking INCREDIBLE, like extremely admirable. Has your grandmother ever made you anything? Not including cookies. I don't think so. I don't even think she ever liked me. Do you disgust anyone? Did they tell you that? Why is this, anyways? Not that I know of. When was the last time you cried, and why (if you want to share)? I don't remember, actually. Probably just about life. Who was the last person who was rude to you? *shrug* Do you have a relationship with God? lol no, and even if I believed in him, I wouldn't have a remotely decent opinion of that entity. Is weed legal in your state? No. Have you ever thrown up in class? In kindergarten, yes. What is something that you used to be ashamed of, but now you’re not? As a kid, being a girl, I was so embarrassed by liking Pokemon. Now, I am literally wearing an Eeveelutions shirt and went out in public lmao. I couldn't care less about loving them cuties. Have you ever walked outside in below zero weather? No; I've never experienced those temperatures. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes, but I was sitting down. I would be WAY too scared of dropping a baby otherwise. Are a ton of your Facebook friends getting married and having kids now? I legitimately think most of my friends on there already have kids and/or are married/engaged. It's triggering sometimes and was a massive motivator for me taking a break from there. What’s something you believe in that most people don’t? So uh, I hope this doesn't sound insensitive given how it just passed, but I 100% believe the U.S. government was to some extent involved in 9/11. There is an incredible amount of evidence when you do the research. Is there anyone who’s dear in your heart who’s going down the wrong path? I worry about one of my good friends quite a bit. She is horribly addicted to pot (like, she admits it) in a state where it's not legal, and I'm concerned she'll face legal repercussions eventually. She also dates an absolute lowlife asshole, but they've been together for a very long time, and I just worry about how that might damage her later down the road. Do you get enough sleep? God, it never feels like it. What’s something you wish you would have known sooner? That college wouldn't work for me. Like, I dropped out of three. I do NOT want to know the debt I'm in. What’s the next big project you plan to start? Idk. Possibly something for Girt's birthday because Mom really pissed me off and doesn't want to spend *any*thing to help me get something for him. Is that bad on my end? Like she pointed out he knows I don't work, but like... come on. He's my bf, one of my greatest friends ever, and you can't spare anything? I really don't know if that's selfish or not; it's just that if I get him nothing, I will feel like ACTUAL garbage. So making something may just be my only option. I just dunno what... Do you think you were cute in your baby pictures? omg yes, idk what happened Do you remember pre-school? A lot of it, yes. My long-term memory is pretty damn amazing. Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? Yes. Does your town have a farmer’s market? I think so? Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Pokemon GO, lol. How old were you when you met your current best friend? Around 11. What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Photography is coming real fuckin close. I've been trying to go somewhere with that for YEARS. Would you rather read a book, or listen to the audiobook? Physically read. I think my attention would stray listening to an audiobook. Do you think tomorrow will be a better day than today? It's possible, idk. I had a doctor's appointment today that absolutely slaughtered my mood, so I feel fucking horrific, but Girt is also coming over today, and I'm sure he'll cheer me up. I won't see him tomorrow, so that's a bummer. With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? Sara. What is the last thing you complained about? It's hot as shit outside. Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? 13 Reasons Why. What was the last topic that you ranted about? Anti-vax bullshit. Who is the most sensitive person that you know? Bitch, me. Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? No. What did you do last Halloween? Literally nothing on the actual holiday. :/ Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real… just once? ... To get out of school, yes. :x What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? I am still positively livid about Texas' "heartbeat bill." Fuck that place and fuck that law. What is one insecurity you have about your body? Um, everything???? What is one part of your body that you are proud of? Nothing????

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''foxy foxy'' by rob zombie

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hackedmotionsensors · 4 years ago

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Hey I feel like you’ve already answered this but what are some of your favorite iron man or Captain America comics and why? What story lines would you recommend? I’m curious about the more modern stuff. What’s some of your fav comic artists when it comes to marvel?

OKAY SO.

holy shit this got long so UNDER THE READ MORE WE GO

This is always kind of a hard question to answer because I personally have not read everything in regards to either Iron man or Captain America. I’ve read the Tales of Suspense stories a lot because I keep trying to start over from the very beginning. And that’s not always helpful if you just wanna dip your toes or give Iron Man/Cap a go.

So what I CAN tell you is here’s what I did when I was first getting into comics around 2012.

I went to Borders/Barnes and Noble and a I read a bunch of the compilations they had in the store. Someone has already done the work FOR you so its really easy to just pick up a book and read from there.

I started out with Invincible Iron Man (I’m gonna link to Amazon but I suggest not buying from them because Bezos is a demon [comixology is owned by amazon as well but it is a convenient app])

Marvel has its own comics app but if you also read and pay for other comics its not ideal. There are places to “read comic books online” and for older stuff I definitely do this now but for newer comics I’ll try to pay for them especially if its indie. Support indie comics!!!

Anyway. Invincible Iron Man. A polarizing story in terms of Iron Man lore. But its definitely an easy one to get into and read especially if you’re coming in from MCU and are just testing things. You don’t necessarily need to know all of his history but it covers the basics.

Next I’d try Demon in a Bottle It’s the original alcoholism arc. A must read for general Tony’s lore. This isn’t the one where he ends up a hobo on the street where Cap helps him escape from a burning building. But this is where he goes off the rails the first time. Bethany Cabe is his current girlfriend and tries to help him. And he kind of recovers. I’m not sure this is exactly a FAVORITE but it has a lot of the important shit for Tony. His temper is something that doesn’t get talked a lot about I think but he DEFINITELY has one. The art is very..........lol its not BAD per say but its also not like wow what gorgeous art.

Another important Tony lore is Armor Wars So you wanna read the first few times Tony and Steve fight about REAL SHIT. This is it. This is the classic story where he realizes his tech is being used by bad guys and HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP THEM NO CAP NOT EVEN YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A GOOD GUY AND I MIGHT HAVE TO GET DIRTY. It has the classic Steve sitting in a dark room waiting for Tony to come back with his date and then throwing his shield at Tony going “I don’t want your trash”

It also has a lot of good Tony being in a morally grey area. *chef’s kiss*

And then basically read all the fun stuff with Kurt Busiek in Vol 3 (This isn’t an amazon link but the marvel database so you know roughly where to start)

VOLUME THREE HAS SUCH HITS LIKE

The Sentient Armor: Tony accidentally kills Whiplash in a lightning storm. The Armor comes to life. The armor falls in love with Tony and WANTS TO BECOME ONE WITH TONY. Tony does not want this. Tony is beat up and kidnapped and taken by the armor to a deserted island. The Armor is like Tony I love you so much GET IN ME NOW. Tony is about to die from a heart attack. The armor RIPS ITS HEART OUT AND SHOVES IT INTO TONY. Bye Tony I love you now we’re one forever. RIP

Tiberius Stone’s 2 arcs (they’re not in consecutive order but they’re both hella gay): Tony’s old boarding school friend shows up again and is a TV mogul and is DEFINITELY NOT Slandering Tony in the press or blowing up his buildings or framing him for MURDER oh my god Tiberius is a pain in the ass and we definitely boned down as teenagers but he would never frame me for MURDER but his TV devices that seep into your brain like the boob tube thing from Batman Forever are pretty suspicious. Oh no Tiberius IS a bad guy and he got me naked (why?) and hooked the both of us up to the TV machine and now we’re trapped in his horny tv dream why am I dressed like Alice in Wonderland??? ALSO HE SLEPT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!??

(This is why I will FOREVER get upset that Killian in Iron Man 3 isn’t Tiberius Stone. He IS LITERALLY FOLLOWING THE TIBERIUS STONE PLAYBOOK INCLUDING THE PHYSICAL LOOK WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE FEIGE YOU OWE ME MONEY!!!!)

Also at the beginning of Vol 3. Tony gets the absolute holy hell bejesus shit beat out of him. And that lasts for a WHILE and seeps into the Avengers Vol 3 (which you should also read its fun and I like that George Perez actually tries to make people look ethnically diverse but also you can tell Clint from Cap)

There’s also a part in vol 3 where Monica from FRIENDS shows up at a party and that’s a wild thing that happened.

But basically I think you can start just about anywhere with Iron Man and have a good time if you’re a deep Tony fan. He has a lot of great stories and its why he’s my favorite. Even this last run with Slott I still KIND OF LIKE ANYWAY??? bc its Tony. Its not always written to what a lot of long standing Iron Man fans would say is canon but I mean.....he’s got 57 years worth of comics behind him so he’s bound to change here and there. He was once a super villain, died, brought over as a teenager from an alternate timeline, and then merged with another Tony I forget the details but its silly lol

Side universe reading Iron Man Noir, Ultimates (Hickman’s run is very fun but also Ultimates 1 and 2. DO NOT READ ULTIMATUM IT IS GROSS, I HAVE READ IT FOR YOU ALMOST EVERYONE DIES ITS GROSS.

Ultimates is literally half of the basis for the MCU. Don’t read Ultimates Iron Man tho. Not only is it written by a creep its also extremely stupid and doesn’t even really make sense in terms of what happens later in Ultimates. It basically gets RetConned immediately.

Also Ultimates universe has Gregory Stark. Tony’s fun evil twin brother who for some reason is blonde. I can’t really give you a specific story to read with Ultimates because its the most god awful confusing universe to try and find stories from so I literally don’t even remember. I’d check an Ultimates fan blog for that.

AS FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA.

I love Steve Rogers. I really do. I think he’s a fun character. B U T. His comics for me can be very boring. He has some great arcs as someone who is supposed to be a representation of what a GOOD AMERICA can aspire to or whatever. But America often times SUCKS A LOT (our current times being very obvious). Cap definitely fights for what he believes and so that’s why he often takes off the garb of Captain America and runs around in a slutty v neck and a cape as Nomad. Or when he comes back from the dead and his BFF is the new Cap (WITHA KNIFE) and wears the sexy Secret Avengers uniform. Very sexy. We stan the Colonel Rogers uniform very much. But his early comics are a lot of “OH MY GOD I KILLED BUCKY ITS ALL MY FAULT BUCKY!!!!! RICK JONES PUT ON BUCKYS CLOTHES THIS ISNT CREEPY I PROMISE”

A GREAT run in Avengers is the Cap’s Kooky Quartet or as I call Cap Joins the Baby Sitters Club. This goes WAYYYYYY back to Avengers 17

It runs for a very good while before Giant-man and Wasp come back because Giant Man can’t shrink back down lmfao idiot. But its a lot of fun and establishes Cap as being a really good leader even tho he’s thrown into the hot seat because he was out on a mission and everyone else was like “We’re taking a vacay bye Cap. Good luck with the kids” *John Mulaney doing Andy Cohen impression* HUH WHAT WHY

I have no idea what to Rec really lol I know @sineala is part of a SteveTony 616 discord and they do readings every month(?) of either very SteveTony based arcs or specifically Steve or Tony arcs. But I think they have a better grasp of Steve stories than I do.

I would say most recently the run with Mark Waid and Chris Samnee as the artist is a VERY good read. The story is pretty nice and dry lol but the art. Holy shit.

I know there are a bunch of artists that really REALLY get Cap but Chris Samnee is probably my number one favorite Cap artist. Even his sort of retro style works with Cap SO WELL. And I like Mark Waid’s writing. Or at least I don’t think I’ve ever been really mad at it like with Dan Slott or Gillen (We will never forgive for what he did to Tony’s backstory and taking Maria from him) lol

Uh...but as far as I could tell the entire run where Bernie is his girlfriend is VERY good. She first shows up in Captain America 247 . Cap is an illustrator on the side (or as his main job) and man what a dope. His art habits are worse than mine like get a desk Steve. But this arc through Bernie goes through a lot of Steve being kind of stuck in the past and not knowing how to embrace the modern or future and Bernie is there being the coolest fucking chick in the world who’s studying to be a lawyer, watches Wrestling, listens to Bruce Springsteen (I think lol I forget), dunks on Cap for being a weirdo old dude. Very put together woman of the 80s. She proposes to Cap and because I think the writers changed he’s like I HAVE TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY BYE.

This isn’t on any of the main timelines but its a good read Captain America Man Out Of Time. Basically Cap coming to grips with the future and realizing the past sucked ew. lol Also he listens to Radiohead which Tony gives him a personal concert for because of course he does.

And then of course there’s this fucking TOME of a story Captain America: The Winter Soldier .

Im gonna sound a little negative but I don’t mean it against anyone’s favorite but I have the most exhausting time trying to read this story. I’ve tried at least three times lol. I think maybe Brubaker’s weird obsession with the Cold War (Remember when he called people who were yelling at Slott for being a creep a ‘Bunch of Commies’) is just so fucking heavy handed that I can’t personally get through it. I would much rather watch the movie.

HOWEVER. There’s good old Bucky coming back from the dead. Natasha. Sam Wilson. Sharon Carter. All big players in this story. So uh lol good luck with this one. If you’re also a Bucky fan this is a must read but as I only peripherally like Bucky I don’t care to read this one.

So I’d check out this arc.

Also a personal fave of mine is

It starts here on Captain America 402 . Its the best story IN THE WORLD. ITS SO ICONIC. NOTHING CAN COMPETE. I LOVE CAPWOLF SO MUCH lol

#I'm really an iron man fan so I don't care what Iron Man I'm reading #but man lol cap is very hit or miss #unless he's a werewolf and then he's SEXYYYYY #pinklasagnaa #long post

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a-dorin · 5 years ago

Text

confession | n.m.

word count: 2,382

warnings: angst, heartbreak, drinking, mentions of smoking, sexual tension, lots & lots of kissing

a/n: so i’m pretty obsessed with both noel miller & cody ko from tiny meat gang. i know this is different than what i normally post, but i hope you all enjoy it!

feelin’ lost, don’t know what to do. but i just got some head in the back of my coupe. still feelin’ dead when i think about you..

juice wrld’s lyrics filled your ears, ringing as the bass of the speaker vibrating the entirety of the room. you took another swig of moscato, warmth seeping into your chest from the alcohol. you felt tingly from your toes to your head, your vision blurred from tears. you were sitting on the floor of your bedroom in your apartment, reminiscing on past memories with a broken heart.

your boyfriend, well now, ex-boyfriend of six years broke it off about three weeks ago, the pain still apparent as you drank away your feelings. of course it was the only way you felt you could cope, as you weren’t much of a smoker. you didn’t want to set up a tinder either, as hookups wouldn’t fill the gaping void in your heart. the meaningless sex would only create a deeper feeling of loneliness and despair. so, you turned to binge drinking, in vain attempts to numb your heartbreak. with a dismal appetite, the only thing you could stomach lately was the alcohol. you grabbed whatever sounded best, making runs to the nearest liquor store almost every night. currently, you were on your second bottle of pink moscato, about one third of the way down.

as you sat on your floor, supported by your bed, you phone vibrated on the floor next to your thigh, curiosity filling you to the brim as you pondered who could have reached out to you. when you read the contact name, your heart skipped a beat in your chest.

noel - i noticed your post on your story. i’m really worried about you. i’m on my way over in ten after wrapping up this video with cody.

you scrambled to your feet, dread filling you once you realized that you were in no state to see noel. but you knew he was adamant about coming over regardless. he was your best friend, the two of you holding a tight bond. noel was one of the main reasons why your ex dumped you. he thought that the two of you were too close, that you were cheating on him with noel. of course, it was a heaping pile of horseshit, as the relationship between the two of you was extremely platonic.

as a semi-popular youtuber, your platform mainly consisted of random videos, ranging from roasting other content, to fashion videos where you vlogged a trip to a thrift store. your following amassed to about ninety-thousand subscribers on youtube, almost over a hundred thousand on instagram. you met noel at a party, through kelsey, cody’s girlfriend. since you were a friend of kelsey’s she introduced you to noel, who was with aleena at the time. however, the two of you hit it off, establishing a strong friendship.

a good portion of your following could be attributed to cody and noel, as you were a frequent guest on their podcast and videos. many of your fans commented constantly about how you and noel were the perfect couple, but you knew it would never happen. besides, noel was getting over his own heartbreak.

aleena ended things with noel approximately three months ago, so noel was in a different stage of healing than you. he was realizing his own self-worth once again, the sadness disintegrating by the day. you yearned to be in that stage already, but the breakup was too recent, the wound scored across your heart fresh.

running a hand through your hair, you let out a sigh as you attempted to look presentable. in your mind, you knew that noel wouldn’t mind, but you wanted to at least try. quickly, you wiped away the old mascara staining your eyelids. you washed your face, throwing on a new hoodie as well. you scooped up the empty bottles off the floor, tossing them into the trash can. the less noel saw, the better.

a knock on the door interrupted the cleanup, a wave of anxiety washing over you. did you look presentable? would noel be able to see right through you? opening the door, you couldn’t help but smile as noel stood before you, an in-n-out burger bag in one hand, a handle of fireball in the other.

“thought you needed some pick-me-ups,” noel’s tone was cool as he strolled in. he inhaled, narrowing his eyes, “(y/n), it reeks of alcohol in here. how much have you had tonight?”

you swallowed, realizing you couldn’t lie as noel’s eyes glared at you, “only a bottle of moscato.”

“good god,” noel shook his head, “have you eaten?”

“not really,” you mumbled, subconsciously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you need to eat then,” he tsked, shoving the bag in your hands, “i picked up your usual.”

“thank you,” your voice was quiet, “you can set the fireball in the kitchen.”

“i’m locking it up,” he chuckled softly, “you’re not allowed to have any more till after you eat.”

slowly, you walked over to the couch, jittery from the nerves and alcohol. you weren’t drunk by any means, but you were definitely buzzed. the fact that you hadn’t eaten wasn’t helping your case either, and noel could tell you needed the food as you wobbled towards the couch. after placing the handle in your freezer, noel came to the couch, sitting beside you.

“do you wanna watch a show?” you picked at your food, taking small bites.

“mmmm,” noel hummed, “only if you let me know what’s been going on lately.”

“fine,” you huffed, rolling your eyes. plucking the remote off the table, you clicked on the hulu app, settling on family guy.

noel sat close to you, your thighs touching, “so, how are things?”

“awful,” it came out as a whisper, “i’m pretty brokenhearted, noel.”

“i can tell,” he murmured, “you’ve been acting different. i worry about you all the time, (y/n). especially when you shut yourself in your room, drinking away. the binge drinking has to stop. i know it hurts, i know it hurts so bad, but you can’t keep living like this.”

tears brimmed your eyelids, threatening to cascade down your cheeks. you stared at your food, unsure of an answer to noel’s remarks. carefully, you formulated some form of a response, “it was all just so sudden. i thought that we were happy together. i guess he didn’t feel the same. you know, i thought we were going to get married. he was talking about buying a ring and-”

“but you complained about him all the time,” noel countered, “you were extremely unhappy.”

you snapped your head up, “you don’t know anything about how i’m feeling, noel.”

his jaw clenched, “i know enough. i know that you were unhappy with him. did you forget all of the times you would come to my apartment late at night? how scared you were to go back to him after every fight? he was a piece of shit who didn’t know a single damn thing about you. he couldn’t even remember your fucking birthday. how can someone who claims that they love you forget your own birthday? he was a joke. a joke that you dated for six years. i can’t even fathom how you dealt with his constant bullshit.”

noel’s tone was full of nothing but venom as he spoke about your ex, his brown eyes ablaze with a fiery rage. you were taken aback by his sudden spout of anger, “noel, are you okay?”

“i just want you happy,” his words were soft, full of affection, “that’s all i want. you helped me through so much, and i just want to give back. you mean a lot to me.”

heat spread through your cheeks, tinging them a pink hue, “you mean a lot to me too.”

noel sat up, face to face with you, his hazel eyes locked with yours, “i want to say so much, but you’re buzzed and i don’t think it’s good timing.”

“noel,” his name tumbled from your lips, “please, just tell me.”

he swallowed thickly, sucking in a breath, “i may have feelings for you. like a lot of feelings.”

your heart fluttered at his words. the night you met noel, you were sure he was the most handsome man you had ever met. with his olive complexion, alluring hazel eyes, and beautiful smile, noel was definitely good looking. you were more so attracted to his quirks. you adored his brash and bold personality, how he said whatever was on his mind. you found his crude humor to be witty and smart, enticed by his jokes. most of all, you loved the way you could be yourself around him. however, you couldn’t ever make a move. at the time, you knew it was wrong. noel had aleena wrapped in his arms, while you were in love with your boyfriend.

but the attraction only blossomed into feelings as you spent more time with noel. with every trip to in-n-out, every podcast, every video collab, you felt yourself falling for him. constantly, you dreamt of an alternate reality, where you pursued your feelings for noel. however, those thoughts were always swatted away. of course, the two of you always swore that things were strictly platonic, but things had changed. noel was single, and so were you.

noel continued, “i always thought about the what-ifs you know? what if we were both single? what if you had feelings for me too? i probably sound like a colossal idiot and all, spilling out my feelings. after all you just got dumped and i am still-”

he was cut off by your lips colliding with his, leg swinging over his so you could straddle his thighs, situating yourself on his lap. your kiss was sweet, the taste of moscato on your lips. noel sucked on your bottom lip harshly as your fingers laced themselves into his hair, tugging slightly as he grasped your hoodie, the space between you two nonexistent. he pulled you closer to him, his kisses desperate, aching for more.

adrenaline rushed through you, replacing the buzz. noel’s lips met with your neck, his breathing ragged as he sucked on your skin harshly. you began to grind against him, skin grazing the fabric of his joggers. he groaned softly, his hand snaking underneath your hoodie, squeezing a breast over your bralette. you could feel noel’s cock strained against his joggers, hardening against your thigh. the intensity was driving you wild as noel left a trail of love bites down your hair, your fingers tangled in his hair.

noel wanted you more than he wanted to admit. he ached to feel your skin against his. to feel you. to fuck you. he craved the intimacy. but he couldn’t. not tonight. you were sobering up, but you were still pretty inebriated. noel hated the idea of taking advantage of you like this, while your heart was still vulnerable, your feelings displayed on your sleeve. it wouldn’t be right. besides, he wanted you to remember the first time.

he pulled away, cheeks flushed, “i don’t want to start anything while you’re like this.”

a large pout formed on your lips, “oh.”

“it’s not fair to you baby,” he murmured, the nickname sweet as it rolled off his tongue.

“can we cuddle then?” you arched a brow, anticipating a yes.

“of course,” noel grinned, wrapping an arm around you as you snuggled into his chest, “we can finish what we started tomorrow, okay?”

his boldness sent a shiver of excitement through you, “you want to come over tomorrow?”

“of course,” he replied, placing a tender kiss on your forehead, “can i not come take care of you? i know you love cuddles and good food. i have the day off tomorrow and i want to spend it with you.”

“sounds good to me,” you yawned, covering your mouth, “if cody wants to come over with kelsey, he can. hell, spock can tag along too.”

“whoa, whoa, whoa,” noel teased, “let’s not get too eager (y/n). i don’t think i could keep my hands off you that long.”

“you don’t want them knowing?” disappointment laced your inquiry.

“cody would destroy me,” a sigh exited noel, his heartbeat thudding steadily, “if he knew i loved you, hell, he would rip me a new asshole and call me a softie all the time. he’d also yell at me for not giving myself enough time to recover from aleena.”

“noel,” your heart raced, your eyes drifting up, “you love me?”

“i mean,” he stammered, realizing what he just admitted, “i do. i love you (y/n). ever since i first laid eyes on you, i knew i wanted you. it’s always been you on my mind. lately, i haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. i get so worked up over you and i never got that way with aleena. you’re just so beautiful and we click so well. so yeah, i do love you.”

the sincerity of noel’s words caused you to melt in his arms, “i love you too, a lot, actually. i’ve been hopelessly in love with you.”

“hopelessly huh?” he chuckled, running a hand through your hair, “well, consider me hopeless too (y/n).”

“i’m pretty head over heels for you,” you mumbled, feeling sleep overwhelm you. noel sensed your shift in mood, beginning to run his fingers through your hair.

“get some sleep baby,” noel cooed, “i’ll stay the night.”

“you don’t have clothes,” a whine escaped your lips.

“i’ll be okay,” he hummed.

it was only a matter of minutes before your breathing slowed, alerting noel that you were asleep, content on his chest. he reached over you, careful not to disturb your slumber. pulling a blanket from the other side of the couch, he draped it over your body, ensuring you got more of the blanket he did. eventually, noel dozed off himself, filled to the brim with joy. you were comfortable, and so was he. the two of you slept in each other’s arms, your head on his chest, his arms around you.

at last, the two of you were together, happy to be in one another’s embrace.

#noel miller #tiny meat gang #noel x reader #cody ko #noel miller x reader #youtubers #youtubers x reader #youtube

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kjmhj0429995486 · 5 years ago

Note

Perhaps a small winwin and kun college au?

okay this took me forever to get around to oops! hahahha this is honestly way too many words for nothing to really happen but I had fun writing it. would love to maybe continue this eventually!

tinder!au i guess??

kun despised the idea of dating apps. absolutely hated it. he always criticized the vanity and impermanence of meeting people online and stood by his ground that you could only find the perfect match in person. when kun created a tinder account under the influence of a few drinks and some very resilient friends on a friday night in, he still hated dating apps, but he’d admit now that maybe he was being a little early to judge.

kun wasn’t like his friends. ten lived for nights out and meeting new people and kissing boys he’d only just met. in a similar vein, lucas was always in a relationship, whether it being a fling that lasts a few weeks before he gets bored or one of his longer, more emotional engagements, kun has never known the man without someone on his arm. but kun was different. since they started college over three years ago now, he’d only kissed a handful of boys, maybe a girl or two in the beginning, and he’d only been in two relationships, both pretty long term relative to his friends. with the last one ending nearly a year ago, he couldn’t help but feel a little lonely; however, it wasn’t until the alcohol settled into his veins as he listened to stories of his friends’ most recent passionate endeavors during their guys’ night that he expressed this to anyone else.

“oh my god and then afterwards, he literally just, left me there. on the couch, naked. he didn’t even leave a blanket for me,” ten was a few shots in, speaking dramatically and drawing the most genuine reactions from his tipsy bestfriends as he spoke. “but oh my GOD did I even care after what that man had just done to me.”

kun never understood the hookup culture that his friends subscribed to, but he was happy for them; and they knew that, even if his snide remarks came off a little judgy. “i really can’t believe the situations you get yourself into sometimes,” kun laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “like you really can’t tell me it was worth getting treated that way to have sex with someone you’ll never see again.”

“kun,” ten began, placing his hands on kun’s shoulders and looking him in the eye, feigning as much seriousness as he could muster in his current state. “you really really need to get laid already,” this made kun immediately roll his eyes and laugh softly in ten’s face. “actually you don’t even have to fuck him right away, but like you could really use a cute boy in your life, man,” he ended with a slight seriousness that hit home more than he would’ve expected. kun knew exactly why ten was saying what he was saying. obvious to his friends, he’d been really stressed lately with midterms and club activities and whatever else he managed to find to keep himself busy enough to not have time to worry about how he felt so incomplete; about how much better all the stressful things in his life would be if someone else was there to experience them with him.

“wait wait wait,” lucas intergected, his normal deep voice even more boisterous with the drinks in his system. “you should make a tinder.”

at this, ten’s eyes widened and he immediately perked up with the biggest smile on his face.

“absolutely not.” kun intended to shut this conversation down before the boys got any stupid ideas in their heads. he was a little late.

“kun pleaseeeee?” ten begged with full on puppy dog eyes. “you never know, the love of your life might be on there right now.”

kun pulled away from the grip ten still had on his shoulders and raised his eyebrows at his friends in an attempt to get his seriousness through their heads. “no way. you guys know how i feel about dating apps. i will happily wait a thousand years for the right man to meet me face to face if that’s what it takes.”

lucas was not convinced. “dude you haven’t had a boyfriend in months. literally all you do when you’re not with us is study. obviously that’s not making you any progress soulmate wise so like.. what’s the harm in giving it a go?”

neither was ten. “exactly. kun you deserve to find someone, you really do. worst case scenario you go on a couple of bad dates and we have something to laugh about, best case scenario you find someone you think you can fall in love with,” kun softens, just a bit, at the sincerity of ten’s words. for a second that is. “and yeah most of them suck but i promise there’s some high quality, top notch men on there if you look hard enough. trust me, i’ve found a couple myself,” he adds with a quick wink. when kun’s scowl returns to his face ten reverts to his previous tactic: puppy dog eyes. “pleassssse kun. you know we really just want the best for you.”

kun sighs, rolling his eyes begrudgingly at his defeat. “i can’t believe i’m saying this out loud but i guess i have been kind of lonely lately,” he begins, catching his friends’ hopeful attention. “not in like a sad kind of way but maybe in a ‘this would be better with someone else’ kind of way.”

that was enough for lucas to grab kun’s phone from its place on the coffee table and download the app before kun even had time to protest.

“awww he’s kinda cute.” ten said, clicking to view the full profile of a boy just a year younger than kun.

“he’s holding a dead fish.”

“you know what they say, the bigger the dead fish the bigger his...”

“literally no one has ever said that.”

“ugh fine. next.”

kun went to bed that night disappointed about to his expectations, if not a little more.

it wasn’t until three days later when kun was laying in bed after a busy school day that he even remembered he had downloaded the stupid app a few nights prior. after a brief battle between his strong opinions towards the dumb application sitting almost mockingly on his home screen and his skeptical curiosity, he unlocked his phone and opened the neglected app, the latter obviously winning out.

kun spent a few minutes swiping. he clicked each individual profile to get as solid of a read as he could on each guy before making his decision with a careful consideration, something he had definitely never seen either of friends apply to their tinder boy sprees. left. left. left. kun was growing ever more frustrated, none of the boys striking a chord with him. perhaps he was being a bit harsh with his standards but he really truly felt that he couldn’t see himself in a relationship with any of these men. left. left. left again. and that’s when he stopped. almost instinctively swiping on the next boy before a picture loaded before his eyes that made him rethink every criticism he had ever given his friends or their dumb app. this one was cute. more than cute. kun never really understood what the phrase “boyish charm” meant, but he knew this boy had it. he was beautiful in such an understated way. not aggressively attractive by conventional standards, but gorgeous and delicate and handsome in a way that kun thinks he could stare at for hours.

with a breath of fresh air, kun finally swiped right. he felt a brief wave of something akin to panic, or maybe excitement, wash over him when a screen he had yet to see appeared. “it’s a match! sicheng likes you too,” the screen read. kun couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face for a split second before he forced it into a scowl, unhappy that he had fallen into the trap of these dumb apps. soon after, kun put his phone down and went to bed. he hated the lingering curiosity about the boy that he knew nothing about, but let himself indulge in his own imagination for just a little while before falling asleep to the thought of having someone to call his.

the next day was busy for kun. between his four classes and studying for his upcoming midterms, he hadn’t even had a second to consider swiping mindlessly through tinder or messaging the single boy he had deemed worthy of his swipe. that was, until he was sat outside the dining hall, letting himself enjoy a few free minutes to eat dinner with ten and lucas. amidst lucas’ downward spiral into the stress of his classes and how much work he has to do, kun’s phone buzzes. he doesn’t want to be as distracted as he is from his friends’ problems by the notification his phone lights up with, but he can’t seem to fight the curiosity of what the tiny words that read “sicheng sent you a new message.” would reveal. kun decides to wait until he can give his full attention to the weird little crush that’s already begun brewing on the total stranger living in his phone. he locks his phone and puts it in his pocket before returning his attention to the people in his life he knows are actually real.

back in his dorm, kun immediately flops onto his bed. he scrolls aimlessly through twitter and instagram before finally landing back where he was last night. knowing that he has a ton of studying to do before bed, he clicks on the messages tab and indulges himself, maybe for a little longer than he means to.

kun: hmmm maybe if i deem you worthy

sicheng: and how do i obtain your approval oh great magician?

kun: well for starters

kun: you’re really cute so that gets your foot in the door

sicheng: 😳

kun: but it’s gonna take a little more than that unfortunately

sicheng: i can dance

sicheng: does that help?

sicheng: ooh and i have a dog

sicheng: but he lives with my parents :(

sicheng: or i can show you my anime figurine collection it’s pretty impressive

kun: haha honestly?

kun: i think you just might be worthy of two magic tricks😂

sicheng: you mean to tell me you know more than one magic trick????

sicheng: wait

sicheng: are you a wizard?

kun: not last i checked

kun: but i guess you’ll be happy to know that i actually know like

kun: 10 magic tricks

sicheng: whaaaaaat

sicheng: lol what point in your life did you not have any friends?

kun: middle school😔

kun: but it’s okay i came out stronger

sicheng: so now you have friends AND know magic?

sicheng: AND you’re hot??

sicheng: sounds kinda op to me

kun: well i’d say all of those are only kind of true

sicheng: i’m still impressed

kun: thank you

sicheng: ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )

kun absolutely hated the stupid smile that wouldn’t leave has face as he read back the boy’s replies. but, as he continued to slowly learn bits and pieces of the boy that didn’t exist to him until last night through conversation that came way more easily than he ever would’ve imagined, kun decides that maybe something special really could come from this after all.

#thank you for the request omg #winkun #winwin #dong sicheng #qian kun #kun #wayv #wayv drabbles #wayvfic #nct #tinder!au #me #college!au

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dontgotothenetherworld · 5 years ago

Text

love alarm au 2 (frankie x phoenix)

i really enjoyed this au, so i decided to write a second part! this one starts at about the same time as the last part ended, right after frankie walks off.

2005 words

cw: nbjo.

frankie was determined to figure out who had rang her alarm. she told y/n earlier that she didn’t care, but that was a lie. she just didn’t want you prying.

she was certain there was only two people who had runge her alarm. she knew that jo was one. it was incredibly awkward that she hadn’t rung their alarm, but they were bound to figure it out sooner or later.

but the second? frankie needed to know.

as she had been walking to y/n’s classroom, she had walked past the library, with her love alarm app open, obviously, and it had gone off. the number had quickly jumped back down to zero as she kept walking, so frankie assumed the person was inside.

she turned the corner, out of sight from you and her brother, and began running to the library. she wasn’t sure how long this person would be there, or if they had already left.

she ripped the door open. she quickly composed herself when she saw a boy, who had been walking toward the exit, staring at her oddly. the boy was familiar, recently transferred to her english class.

”oh! hi! phoenix, what are you doing here?” frankie asked.

”checking out a book, obviously.” he held up a thin green paperback. “is that not what you’re here to do?”

”uhh not exactly.” frankie pulled her phone out, “you see, i have love alarm, do you have it? anyway, i was walking by here earlier, and someone rang it. so, on the off chance that they’re still in here, i really need to know who it is. is there anyone else here?” frankie blurted.

”slow down there, frankie.” phoenix laughed.

”do you have love alarm?” frankie asked again, this time showing him her screen open to the app.

”i downloaded it this morning,” phoenix started, “but i deleted it a little while ago.”

frankie deflated a bit. “why’d you do that? also, is anyone else in here?” frankie looked over his shoulders.

phoenix looked back. “unless the it’s the librarian, which i think would be kind of illegal, i don’t think so.”

frankie squinted her eyes at the librarian. he was a recent college graduate, and had quite a collection of literature themed button up shirts. “y’know… illegal, but…”

”very illegal, please get that idea out of your head.”

”thought gone, head empty, happy?”

phoenix laughed, “sure.”

”wait, so why did you delete the app?”

phoenix shrugged, “it just didn’t sit right to me. i really don’t feel like love should be told by an app. and also i just moved here, so it’s basically definite that now one gives a shit about me yet.”

frankie, who really hoped that phoenix had rung her alarm earlier, asked, “did it ring while you had it?”

phoenix looked down, embarrassed, “i only checked in crowded places, because… more people, it’s more likely that one of them has a crush on me. that’s how it works, right? maybe not because it didn’t change from zero all day.”

frankie reached out to grab his arm, to try to comfort him.

”what about you? i mean, obviously at least one person did, because you barrelled in here.”

frankie hesitated for a second, “just the one.” she lied. she didn’t really think it over, the lie. but she wanted him to think that she would definitely be available to him, if he had a crush on her. she would be anyway, but it’s a bit harder to explain the best friends with benefits, where one person accidentally caught feelings, situation she had with jo. well, it wasn’t hard to explain, but she didn’t want to give phoenix the wrong impression. but he seemed understanding, so he might get it.

whatever, she had already said the lie. too late to take it back now.

phoenix was very attractive, she’d stop fucking with jo to fall in love with him in a heartbeat. frankie was suddenly glad that he had deleted the app, otherwise sometime during their conversation, his alarm would suddenly go off, and it definitely wasn’t the hot librarian.

frankie glanced at the hot librarian again. if only it weren’t so illegal.... frankie should read more often. damn.

”well, i’ve got to go. and since you involved me in this, i am now very invested in if you figure out who this person is, can i please give you my number so you can keep me updated.” said phoenix.

”uh sure.” frankie handed him her phone.

”i know this is a weird way to make friends, but hey, i’m new. text me even if it’s not love alarm related.” phoenix smiled and started walking out, towards the parking lot.

frankie briefly considered chasing after him, begging him to redownload love alarm, and rejoice in their shared ring, but decided otherwise. she had a book to check out, anyway.

phoenix was somehow able to act cool the entire time he was talking to frankie, but now that he was by himself, he was shaking like a car on an old wooden roller coaster. it was bad, but luckily most everyone else had already left the school. or else they were in the school, doing club stuff, or on some unseen field.

phoenix slid into the driver’s seat of his dad’s old car, even though he had no intention of driving home at that time. he needed to relax a little before he felt he would be safe enough on the road.

phoenix opened the book he had just checked out from the library. the perks of being a wallflower. the librarian, who frankie thought was attractive, had recommended it to him. phoenix had been expecting a less well known recommendation from a guy who looked like he considered ‘indie’ to be one of his personality traits. not only that, he looked like the kind of guy who had a superiority complex about liking things that no one else had ever heard of.

phoenix read about two and a half sentences before he noticed something moving from the corner of his eye. one of the only other cars in his row, a good five or so spaces down, there was someone hunched over their steering wheel.

phoenix turned back to his book. he had decided that whatever they were going through was none of his business.

he looked up again. the person had straightened up, and he was able to see their tear streaked face.

phoenix turned back to his book, but he was contemplating why they were crying, instead of really absorbing the words.

phoenix turned back to look at them. this person just looked like they needed someone to vent to. or at least just know that they could vent to someone if they needed to.

phoenix had made up his mind, he was going to walk over to them. he felt a little bit of anxiety, worried that they might be rude to him, even though he just wanted to help, but he decided that potentially making them feel better was worth it. but what if he made them feel worse? shit...

phoenix knocked on the driver’s side window. they lowered it.

pawing away at their tears they said, “what do you want.”

it slightly bother phoenix that they phrased a question as a statement, but he said, “you were, um, crying and stuff, and i wanted to know if you needed to, uh, vent to someone. but if that’s stupid and i shouldn’t have walked over here, i can drive off and pretend this never happened.”

they stared at him oddly. “y’know what? i do need to vent, thanks.” they unlocked the car doors, and gestured for phoenix to sit shotgun.

”i’m phoenix, by the way.” he said as he sat.

”jo.” they rolled up their window. “so... “ they tried to figure out where to start, “my best friend and i, well… a while ago we started hooking up. i thought that she had feelings for me, right? but thanks to this fucking love alarm, she knows that i have feelings for her, but my alarm hasn’t gone off once! all day!”

”that sucks, but you know people can’t control their feelings…”

”i know that! i’m not really even upset about that. it’s just… she hasn’t addressed it. she hasn’t mentioned it. and she seems to still want to hook up with me!”

”and you want more than that?”

”hell no! not if she doesn’t have feelings for me! i just want her to stop using me. i either want her to be just my friend, or my girlfriend.”

”have you tried telling her that?” phoenix was trying to be supportive, but he was pretty sure he was just become the combination of every scene like this that he had seen in movies or tv shows, and he was just regurgitating those words.

”i don’t think she’d listen…” jo said glumly. “frankie cares about herself far more than she cares about anyone else.”

frankie? wait a minute, what’s going on here… “frankie healy?” phoenix asked.

”yeah, why?”

phoenix started thinking out loud, “so… i was just talking to her in the library, and she said that only one person had rung her love alarm all day, but… you just said you rang hers, and she told me that she was trying to figure out who it was that rang hers.”

”she was trying to figure it out? she told me that she didn’t care. and why the fuck would she say that only one person rang hers?”

”i’m trying to figure that out too. what would she have to gain from telling me that?”

”probably avoiding talking about our relationship, like she always does…”

the two sat in silence, mulling over their newfound knowledge.

jo suddenly realized something. they looked up at phoenix, “she likes you.”

”what?”

”she didn’t want you to think that there was anyone else in the way of you dating her, so she conveniently didn’t mention me.”

”that’s ridiculous, she doesn’t even know who rang her alarm. the other person, that is.”

”did you open the app with her?”

”no, i deleted it like an hour ago.”

”do me a favor, and don’t download it again.” jo advised. “she definitely thinks it’s you who rang her alarm, and i don’t think she cares if she’s wrong.”

”what do you mean?” phoenix asked.

jo groaned. “this damn has probably just made it easier for her. she’ll use it to find people who like her, then use the people until she’s done with them.”

”wait a minute, you don’t know that.”

”yes i do, i have super psychic powers, and i’m predicting the future for you! you don’t want to just be the first person in her string of flings, do you?”

”i… don’t think so. but wait, frankie seems so nice.”

”that’s how she gets you! ugh i am definitely going to tell her how i feel.” jo got their phone out and started texting. “thank you so much for this, phoenix.”

phoenix took that as them asking him to leave.

”oh, wait. what’s your number? i need to keep you updated on this.”

phoenix told them, and they sent a smiley face.

”i should probably get going.” he said, glancing at the time on his phone.

”okay, bye! seriously, i really needed this conversation, so i’m going to thank you some more.” they smiled at him.

phoenix weakly smiled back, and jogged back to his car. he started the engine, even though his head was up in the clouds.

was that a good thing? did he do jo a favor with that? or was he just the catalyst in their radical conclusion?

he figured that jo would’ve ended up at that, no matter if he had talked to them or not, but he still felt personally responsible.

he checked the time. shit, he was going to have to hurry home if he wanted to drop his school stuff off before work.

@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi

#jagged little pill #jagged little pill musical #jagged little pill broadway #jlp #jlp broadway #jagged little pill fanfiction #jlp fanfiction #phoenix #phoenix jagged little pill #phoenix jlp #frankie healy #frankie x phoenix #love alarm au #fic

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spnfanficpond · 5 years ago

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May 2020 Pond LiveChat Recap - User Friendly Tumblr Pt 2

@fictionalabyss (Mel) and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish (Kay) yet again did a great job teaching us the magical ways of Tumblr! Thank you, girls, for helping out and sharing your wisdom!!

This was a continuation of last month’s chat, which you can read all about HERE. We also talked a little bit about this back in July 2019, and you can read all about that chat HERE. A rundown of this month’s chat is below the cut!

Keep Reading function via the app

We started off talking about the Keep Reading function, and how it works, and doesn’t work on the app. Back in July 2019, if you were using the app, you could add the text [ [ MORE ] ] (without the spaces) to a line, and it would create a Keep Reading cut in your post for you. We’ve heard recently that it wasn’t working, so we did some testing. This is what happened:

As viewed via the app on the blog:

As viewed via the app when looking at the desktop:

As viewed via desktop on the blog:

Long story short, It only works if you view the post on desktop. Mel noted that if she went onto desktop and edited the post from there, then the cut would work everywhere, but that defeats the purpose of posting using the app.

TD;DR - [ [ MORE ] ] no longer works effectively.

Keeping your formatting when copying from Google Docs into Tumblr

@flamencodiva (Vanessa) told us all about a workaround that she learned from @winchest09. Anyone who was tried to copy and paste from Google Docs to Tumblr knows that you lose all of your formatting, including any italics. @mrswhozeewhatsis has not had a problem copying and pasting from Microsoft Word (as part of the Office 365 Suite) into Tumblr, but Kay has, so she needs to use this workaround. Basically, the trick is to post to AO3, first, and the copy and paste from there. Here’s the step-by-step per Vanessa:

1) make a new chapter on AO3, 2) set it to rich text, 3) paste your fick, 4) got to tumblr and click on pencil to add text, 5) change setting to html, 6) go back to ao3 click on html, 7) copy and paste the html format of your fic and paste it to tumblr, 8) change the setting back to rich text and your format is the way you want it from google docs.

Submitting your fics to the Pond to be posted on the blog

Via the app:

Submitting via the app is a pain, but it is possible.

[Side note: Posts submitted to the Pond via the app can not be edited by the admin. We don’t edit your posts often, but occasionally we will add or change tags, or try to make your post look more appealing. If you submit via the app, we can’t do that.]

Kay was gracious enough to go through thr process and make screenshots for us, explaining what was happening along the way.

First, click on the envelope at the top of the screen:

Nect, click “Submit Your Fics”:

Then you’ll see this screen:

The various options for the type of submission show up at the bottom just like when you compose a post in the app for your own blog. I would add that my “asks” seem to get eaten more often when my phone auto-corrects something. So, one post I did not use auto-correct (and that took way too many tries, honestly) and one post did use auto-correct (and I surprisingly had success).

All the tags available are already applied when submitting through the app (at least on my phone) so you would have to delete those that don’t apply, which is opposite of how you do it when submitting on desktop.

To do this, tap on the #tags (you can see them starting to list in the middle of all the white or you can tap the # in the bottom right corner) and you will get this big list of all the tags available when submitting.

Tap on the one that does NOT apply, and you will get this tiny little x.

Tap the x to remove that tag. Repeat for all the tags that do not apply. If you do not tap the x, it will go back to the darker blue color of a tag that will be applied to your submission.

Caution: if you remove a tag you wanted by accident, you will have to type it back in. My experience with this was my app generating popular tags related to what I was typing first, not tags that were previously there, so please read carefully to get the correct tags.

To change the type of post to link instead of text: click on the link icon along the bottom (there's the Aa for a text post, links, GIF, a camera, etc). However, I copy/pasted a link into the body on a Aa post and it still seemed to work.

A long time ago, THIS ANSWER was posted on the Pond blog about making your submitted post “prettier” and more attractive to readers. This was made based on using desktop (not the app), and just copying and pasting from one tab to another, like this:

On desktop, in Chrome, this works very well, for most people, most of the time. (Mel had some issues doing it for a couple of days, and then it magically started working for no apparent reason.) The gif will transfer over, along with the gif credit, too. This way, the submission to the Pond looks exactly like your original post, and will thus attract more readers.

In the app, though, the copy function doesn’t like to go through an image, and it seemed to be hit-or-miss if a gif copied and pasted would load properly. Basically, it’s a LOT of work to submit via the app, and it is not recommended. You can, but it’s a lot of work.

Why should I make my submissions “pretty” when just posting a link works just fine?

When you are submitting your story to the Pond to be posted on the blog, you’re doing it to attract readers who might otherwise not see your story. You want to sell your story on our blog the same way you sell it on your own blog. That means including all of the elements of a header that are suggested IN THIS POST (Suggested Format for Fics). If you don’t add this information, you could end up with a post that looks like this on the blog:

Readers might not even clock that as a story to be read! Some readers won’t even look at a story that doesn’t list a word count, warnings, or if there’s a pairing. Simply copying and pasting your header into the submission box gives potential readers everything they need to know. Also, here is a good list we came up with a while back of Warning Tags for Fics.

I worked really hard to craft this “secret” (but possibly triggering) ending so I don’t want to spoil it in the warnings; any suggestions?

In your header, let your readers know that there is possibly triggering material in the story, direct them to your tags at the bottom of the post, and then use the “#tw:” format to list the spoilery triggers in your story. This way, people who have few or no triggers can read without being spoiled, and those with triggers they need to avoid can make sure they’re reading safely.

I’m bad at writing summaries. Do I really need one?

Yes. And don’t wimp out and say, “I’m bad at summaries.” That will turn readers off. Think of a summary like a movie trailer. Would you go see a movie is the trailer was just a guy saying, “It’s a good movie, I swear, but I suck at making trailers, so just go see it, yeah?” If a reader is at all unsure about reading your story, your summary can make their decision. Your summary doesn’t need to spoil the story, but just give the reader some idea of what they’re getting into. Set the table, as it were, before the meal. Is it canon-compliant, or an AU? When is it set? Who’s involved in the story? Bring your readers to the ball park before you start the game.

Should I use a specific tag for my writing? Why or why not?

After some discussion, we determined that you should if you don’t have a masterlist set up, yet, or if you don’t keep your masterlist updated. As long as you have a masterlist and keep it up-to-date, then the extra tag isn’t necessary.

That’s it for this month! Don’t forget to submit your stories and your Angel Fish nominations! Want to know what’s happening in the Pond? Check the Pond Calendar to see what’s coming up! And, as always, if you have questions or suggestions, let us know! You can send us an ask, or send a private message to @manawhaat (Mana) or @mrswhozeewhatsis (Michelle) anytime!

#chat recap #spnfanficpond #spnfanficpond livechat #michelle answers #chat room #let's chat #THE CHAT ROOM #pond chat

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xuxibelle · 5 years ago

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You’re Real?

Pairing: Cody Saintgnue x Reader

Word count: 3,981

Warnings: Fluff

Requested: No. Just an idea that popped in my head. Also, first time writing for this one.

Summary: Y/N has been out of the dating world for a while. Her friends try to talk her into trying online dating...

You had been out of the dating game for at least a year now, not that you were counting, but your friends were… Most recently they had been trying to convince you to give online dating a go.

“At least make a profile and see what kind of hits you get,” Lila, one of your best friends, tells you.

“Why should I?” you ask her as you take your seat on the couch as your 2 other friends follow you back into the living room. “It’s gonna end up like all the rest of my relationships.”

“You don’t know that, Y/N…�� Sarah says as she looks at you from across the coffee table. You give her a glare before you speak up.

“Sarah, it always ends the same… They always leave. It may not always be for the same reason or in the same way, but they always leave,” you remind her.

“That just means you haven’t…” Nia begins before you interrupt.

“Met the right one yet… yea, yea… I know,” you say as you roll your eyes. They all look at each other before looking back at you.

“Well, we knew you would say no anyway, so we set you one up before you could say no,” Nia tells you. You glare at all of them.

“I-I’m sorry…. You did what??” you say getting a little upset.

“Yea, we knew you wouldn’t want to, so we set you one up last night,” Lila explained.

“Yea, look!” Sarah said excitedly. “You’ve already got messages!” she said as she handed you the iPad. You reluctantly took the tablet from her as you looked down at the screen.

“Half of these are creeps,” you say as you scroll through the messages without reading them.

“You don’t know that… You haven’t read the message or looked at their profiles,” Lila tries to reason with you.

“Liles...I can tell by the pictures…” you say as you glare up at her.

“Please…” you hear them all say in unison. You roll your eyes as you let out a sigh and leaned back against the couch.

“Only because I know you won’t shut up about it until I do,” you tell them as you begin to sort through the messages and delete the ones you deemed actual creeps before going back to the “normal” messages and replying to some of them after reading the profiles. “This guy doesn’t even have a pic of just him… it’s all group pics,” you say as you roll your eyes.

“He was the one you liked the most out of the messages, wasn’t he?” Nia asked curiously.

“Yea…” you sigh as you scroll through his profile.

“I say still talk to him,” Lila says as she watches over your shoulder. “Looks good to me.” You shrug your shoulders as you hit the reply button and send him a message back. You don’t expect a quick reply, but you get one within a couple hours from him. By this time, the girls had left and you were on your own. You were nervous at first, but after the first couple of messages it became very easy to talk to this guy. You spent the better part of the rest of the evening messaging back and forth on the dating app before he asked if it would be ok to text you. You thought about it for a minute before responding. You knew the girls would tell you to go ahead, so you figured why not. You could always block him if he turned out to be a creep or just overly annoying. Typing out your message, you added your number at the bottom and waited for a reply. Knowing it takes a little longer to get a response on the dating site, you kept refreshing the site to see if he replied yet, but you had nothing so far. Setting your phone down, you walk into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. When you closed the door to the fridge, you heard your text message notification go off. Thinking it was one of the girls, you made no hurry to get back to your phone as you grabbed a couple snacks before heading back to the living room and turning Netflix on. Picking up your phone, you see a text from an unknown number and your stomach drops. Suddenly nervous, your hands start to slightly shake as you swipe across your phone to unlock it and read the message.

Unknown: Okay, so I know first messages are always awkward, so what do you say we just pretend this isn’t a ‘first’ and continue our conversation from the site?

You laugh to yourself at the truth of his statement before you type out your reply.

Y/N: You are absolutely right… I would love to skip all the awkwardness. I have enough of that in my life as it is

Unknown: We’re all a little awkward lol

Y/N: So… what do I call you? I can’t call you by your username lol that would just be… weird

Unknown: Hahaha can you imagine the looks we would get? No, really though, some of my friends call me Lee.

Y/N: Lee… ok I can do that lol

Lee: and what do I call you?

Y/N: My name is Y/N. Or my friends like to call me Y/N/N.

Lee: Y/N/N, I like that. It suits you

You went back and forth most of the night while you watched Netflix, both teasing each other over different shows and movies you liked. When you look at the time on your phone you were a little disappointed that you were going to have to stop talking already, it didn’t seem like it had been that long.

Y/N: I hate to do this… cause I really like talking to you, but it’s getting late and I have an early shift tomorrow…

Lee: No! That’s absolutely fine. You need your rest, completely understandable. I really like talking to you too. Talk tomorrow?

Y/N: of course :) Goodnight

With that, you set your alarm and crawl into bed with a smile on your face as you fall asleep. The next day at lunch, you meet the girls on your break.

“So, how goes the search?” Lila asked first. You shrug your shoulders so you don’t seem too enthusiastic about things, but you were truly hoping this guy wasn’t a creep.

“Okay I guess,” you reply.

“What about that guy? The one with all the group pics,” Nia asked you.

“Oh, him,” you begin, pretending that you forgot. “Yea he seems nice.”

“Nice… so does that mean you’re gonna keep talking to him?” Sarah questions.

“Maybe… depends on if he turns into a creep like most of them do,” you tell her plainly as they all give you a look. “I’m just telling you what always happens to me,” you say holding your hands up in defense.

“At least give some of them… one of them a chance,” Lila begged you.

“We can’t stand to see you lonely all the time,” Nia said.

“I’m not lonely. I have you guys,” you defend yourself.

“You know what we mean, Y/N,” Sarah tells you.

“Fine,” you say with a sigh before you hear your phone chime with a text notification. The girls all look at each other. They know that sound and they know that they are all sitting with you and you don’t really text anyone else.

“Uhm… Y/N… what was that?” Nia asks you sweetly as she gives you a knowing look.

“Nothing,” you say as you look down at the table.

“Okay, who was that,” Lila rephrases the question. You huff before you look up at them and glare.

“Alright fine, it’s the guy,” you say quickly.

“What guy?” Sarah asks excitedly.

“The one with the group pictures…” you tell them as you bite your lip.

“And when did this happen?” Lila questions you with raised eyebrows.

“Yesterday after you all left. It took a couple hours for him to respond on the site, then we talked for a while. It was taking forever to talk through the site and we both seemed to like each other and he suggested we text,” you explain as you watch their faces light up. “I figured if it goes bad I can always just block his number.”

“It’s not gonna go bad, Y/N,” Lila tells you.

“You don’t know that, Liles,” you say with a sigh.

“Yea, and you don’t know that it’s not gonna be great,” Sarah tells you. “Stop worrying and just have fun for once.”

“Please. For us,” Nia begs you. You nod your head and they all smile at you. The rest of your workday goes by pretty quickly with you texting your mystery man as a distraction. You stop by the grocery store on the way home and grab a bottle of wine to help you relax. After you put it in the freezer to get it cold faster, you change into comfy clothes and sit on the couch for a bit, watching TV before your phone goes off again.

Lee: How’s your evening?

Y/N: Good so far. Yours?

Lee: Better now. What are you up to tonight?

Y/N: Just relaxing with a bottle of wine and my favorite TV show.

Lee: Well that sounds like fun… What are you watching?

Y/N: Teen Wolf of course… Sucks that it was cancelled, but it was so good I can rewatch it.

Lee: That was a good show.

Y/N: So what are you doing tonight?

Lee: Talking to you

Y/N: That’s how you’re spending your Friday night? Come on lol You’re a dude. Aren’t you supposed to be out partying or something.

Lee: Maybe, most other guys probably would be... I’d rather talk to you.

Y/N: ...that’s definitely different

Lee: Is that a good thing?

Y/N: yes lol very

You spend the rest of the night watching your show and texting back and forth. It becomes a natural thing for you two to text half the day and most of the night before you go to bed over the next week or so before the big question is asked.

Lee: So, I was thinking…

Y/N: Don’t hurt yourself now…

Lee: *gasps* evil…

Lee: As I was saying… lol I was thinking we should meet.

You felt your breath hitch in your throat and your body freeze as you stared at the word “meet.” It felt like you couldn’t breathe. You weren’t sure what to say. You knew you liked him, but you still don't really know what he looked like, not that looks matter THAT much.

Y/N: Okay

Lee: Yea?

Y/N: Yea... I mean, we both know we like each other’s company by how we’ve been talking. The next step would be to meet.

Lee: So, could I maybe pick you up and take you out?

Y/N: Yea, that would be nice

Lee: Is tomorrow okay?

Y/N: It’s perfect

You texted the group chat you were in with the girls and let them know what was going on. Of course, you were bombarded with messages of how excited they were and that they wanted details and to make sure you took a picture since he didn’t have one on his profile because they wanted to see who had you texting him all the time. The last one made you laugh, but you were grateful for your friends. The next morning you wake up to a text from him.

Lee: I need to talk to you about something.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. You wondered if this was where everything started going downhill. You told yourself no, you were going to be positive and see where it goes.

Y/N: Sure. You can talk to me about anything. What’s up?

You didn’t expect a quick reply, but he surprised you and texted back within 5 minutes.

Lee: Nevermind. It wasn’t important. Did you sleep well?

Y/N: I did. How did you sleep?

Lee: Pretty good

Y/N: Are you sure everything’s ok?

Lee: Yea, Nothing’s wrong. I’m looking forward to tonight.

Y/N: Me too actually. I never do this

Lee: Do what?

Y/N: Online dating

Lee: Why are you now?

Y/N: My friends lol they thought it was time for me to “get back out there” and they knew I wouldn’t create a profile for myself, so they did it for me.

Lee: Remind me to thank them if I get to meet them

Y/N: As long as you don’t turn out to be a creep, you’ll get to meet them lol

Lee: I can promise you, I am not a creep lol

Y/N: Good

You texted off and on all day until it was time for him to leave to come get you. You were on the couch watching Teen Wolf when he texted you.

Lee: Okay, I’m leaving now. Be there soon.

Y/N: Okay, Drive safe.

It wasn’t fifteen minutes before there was a knock at your door. You paused the TV and went to open the door, your mouth opening and closing like a fish as you looked from your TV to the guy at the door.

“How does that work?” you say quietly.

“How does what work?” he asks.

“I paused my TV and you show up at my door?” you question as you squint your eyes.

“Are you watching Teen Wolf again?” he asks you as your eyes go wide.

“How do you know I watch Teen Wolf?” you ask in shock making him laugh.

“It’s me,” he tells you.

“Yea, I can see that,” you breathe out as you motion to your TV.

“No,” he shakes his head. “I’m Lee,” he explains as he holds his phone up. You shake your head as you look at him.

“No you’re not,” you half laugh. “This is some kind of prank or something. The girls are setting me up for this for some reason,” you try to rationalize.

“Why would they do that? That would be terrible and from what you’ve told me, they love you very much,” he says with raised eyebrows. You pull your phone from your pocket, pulling up Lee’s contact information. You press the call button and, sure enough, his phone lights up with your name as he holds it over to show you. “Y/N…” he says quietly, snapping you back to reality as you look up at him. “Are you okay?” he asks as he sees you nod your head yes. “You’re sure?”

“Yea, I’m okay… just surprised,” you tell him.

“How about we stay in? We can order take-out and just talk?” he suggests.

“That might be a good idea,” you tell him with a small smile before you open the door wider to let him in. You both take a seat on the couch while he pulls up a menu to order from.

“Is there any kind of food you don’t like?” he asks.

“No. I’ll eat just about anything,” you laugh. “But, I haven’t had really good pizza in a long time, so if you know of any places, that would be amazing.”

“Done,” he tells you with a laugh as you raise your eyebrows at him. “A couple of my friends own a little pizzeria about two blocks from here. If you haven’t had it before, you’ll love it.”

“Sounds perfect,” you tell him as you pull up Netflix on your TV while he orders the pizza on his phone. “Any preference?” you ask as he shakes his head.

“Not really. I can watch just about anything. It’s probably just going to be background noise anyway if we keep talking,” he tells you. “Although… I wouldn’t be mad if you wanted to keep watching Teen Wolf,” he says with a half laugh, teasing you as you feel your face flush and you look down at your hands holding the remote, your brain registering what he said.

“I think I’m good…” you laugh before you look up at him shyly.

“Have you seen all of it?” he asks curiously. You bite your lip as you look at him and contemplate your answer. “Okay, that’s a yes,” he laughs. “How many times have you watched it then?” he asks with a tilt of his head, watching your reaction.

“Well…” you begin.

“Be honest,” he tells you quietly. “I’m not gonna judge. I’m just curious.” You let out a breath slowly and met his eyes again.

“Honestly, probably more than 10-12 times,” you confess as you watch his eyes widen slightly.

“The entire series?” he asks as you nod your head. “You must really love the show,” he laughs.

“Yea, it was one of my favorites until they ended it,” you tell him.

“What episode were you on when I got here?” he asks curiously. You laugh a little before you look back at him and answer.

“Dreamcatchers… Season 5, episode 3. It’s the one where Lydia, Kira, and Liam think Hayden is a werewolf. Lydia asks if any new Alpha’s have moved into town. Kira tells her no but they know of an old one. The camera pans to Liam making a sour face then he says they know the pack. Then it shows Liam and Mason walking beside the bleachers on the lacrosse field and that’s when you show up and that’s where the TV was paused when I answered the door,” you explain as you watch him bite his lip and notice his face flushes just a bit before he looks back up at you.

“That episode, huh?” he teases.

“What?” you laugh. “It’s not like I chose that one to watch today… that’s where I was in the series,” you defend yourself.

“Right… the day I meet you in person is the day you happen to be watching possibly the only episode where I don’t wear a shirt? Mhm… sure,” he teases you. Your mouth drops in shock and offense at his teasing.

“I didn’t even know you were… YOU,” you say exasperatedly as you throw your arms in the air.

“Calm down,” he laughs at your reaction. “I just like teasing you. You’re cute when you get flustered.” You feel your face flush at his words. “See?”

“Moving on….” you half laugh. “Oh, so do I still call you Lee?” you ask curiously making him smile at your question.

“No,” he half laughs. “You can call me Cody.” The pizza comes shortly after you talking about Teen Wolf, and to your surprise, it’s actually from your favorite pizza place that you haven’t had time to go to in forever. “You have got to be kidding me,” you say as you stare at the box.

“What? Is something wrong?” He asks you worriedly.

“Not at all,” you half laugh. “This is my absolute favorite pizza place and I haven’t been able to go in ages… You really know the owners?”

“Yea,” he laughs as he watches you. “I grew up with the son so they’re pretty much like family,” he explains. You sit and share the pizza as you talk for a while and just enjoy each other’s company. He was right, the TV became background noise.

“So, I have a question,” you tell him.

“Okay, shoot,” he commands.

“Why all the group pics and none of you? I’m not judging, just curious to your reasoning,” you explain as you see Cody nodding his head.

“Well, online dating hasn’t worked so well for me in the past, so… I thought this time I wouldn’t show my face, but still act like myself until I met the person. There were people before that would try to take advantage of me or use me to get what they wanted, or of course as with all dating sites, there were also the ones that just wanted sex, and it just made me not want to be seen first. I just wanted to be heard and then I would reveal myself,” he explained as you watched the emotions run through his eyes.

“I understand that completely… I went through sort of the same thing, although mine wasn’t from being famous,” you half laugh. “Is that what you meant in that one text when you said you wanted to talk but we never did?” you ask.

“Yea,” Cody sighs. “I was going to tell you, but then I figured you could either not believe me and you would stop talking to me, or you would think I was joking and you would forget about it, so I just decided to wait. My nerves just got the better of me,” he confessed as he looked down at his hands. You reached over and placed your hands on his, hoping it was okay with him. Cody raised his eyes to meet yours, seeing a soft smile on your lips.

“You should never have to hide yourself from anyone. I can tell you’re too much of a good soul… Too beautiful to be hidden,” you tell him softly. Cody rests his palm on your cheek, thumb rubbing back and forth as he leans his forehead against yours.

“Am I not the one that’s supposed to be saying stuff like that to you?” he breathes out, making you laugh lightly. You shrug your shoulders gently as you smile at him.

“Guess I beat you to it,” you tease.

“This time,” Cody jokes back, moving his thumb down, his eyes watching as it traces your bottom lip, tugging down slightly in the middle before looking back up to meet your eyes. You weren’t sure what to say next… Your brain didn’t want to work fast enough, but before you could even think of anything to say, Cody pressed his lips to yours in a soft kiss. When you didn’t pull back right away, he began to slowly move his lips against yours as your eyes fluttered shut. You laid your palm against his cheek as his hand slipped around to the back of your neck, trying to pull you closer. Tilting your head, you deepened the kiss when you felt him drag his tongue along your bottom lip before pushing inside to glide against yours. You felt his hands begin to move down your neck, but you’re confused when they stop on your shoulders and he pushes you back a little. “If we don’t stop now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop,” Cody confesses breathlessly. Raising a hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t want to do anything you may not be ready for,” he tells you. You freeze hearing his words, not used to anyone being so nice or compassionate towards you. Blinking a couple times to bring yourself back to reality, you lift your hand and poke his cheek a few times causing his eyebrows to furrow in confusion before he starts laughing. “What are you doing?” Cody asks you as he tries not to laugh.

“Trying to make sure you’re real…” you tell him in a completely serious tone, making him laugh even more.

“Of course I’m real… I’m sitting right here,” Cody laughs.

“But I could be dreaming…” you contemplate as you look at him. He reaches over and lightly pinches your arm. “Ow!” you exclaim as you playfully hit his arm.

“Just proving you’re not dreaming,” Cody laughs again.

“Then who are you? And why didn’t I find you sooner?” you ask in a playful tone. Reaching over, Cody takes your hand in his and pulls you into his side, wrapping his arms around you.

“How about we watch a movie and cuddle?” Cody suggests as you look up at him, half in shock and nod your head.

“Yea, that always sounds good,” you smile up at him before he leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead as he turns the TV back on.

Not sure who to tag for this one...

@definitely-not-black-cat @bringmethehorizonandpizza @sunshine112 @empressdreams @justasmisunderstoodasloki @bisexual-sk8r @devildisguiseasangel @bearsbeetsbarnes @justkeepdreaminganddreaming @wheres-mccall @wazzupmrstark @honestsycrets @nobernieyouareunderreacting @tephi101 @yanii-the-hippie @thejemersoninferno @marvelgirl7 @pleasantlyshamelesswizard @thequeensardine @skymoonandstardust

#Cody Saintgnue x reader #Cody Saintgnue imagine #Cody Saintgnue #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine

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timelvss · 5 years ago

Text

Love Heist

parings: lee taeyong | ft. some nct kids

genre: criminal!au / romance, angst

warnings: language, gore (mentions of blood)

word count: 11.4k

description: and suddenly a switch inside taeyong flipped, that wasn’t your boyfriend anymore but there was no chance you were letting him do this alone.

author’s note: this fic has been in the works since about august of last year, it was meant to be a halloween fic but that didn’t happen..... anyways, i would really appreciate feedback on it, it’s literally my favorite fic i’ve written so far and thank you for waiting for it :( shout out to my pals for reading it and helping me through it

At the moment you hadn’t thought about how bad things really were until now that you saw the familiar gun laying on the floor across from the coffee table and a couple of bullet shells laying around it. To say the apartment you both were in was a mess was an understatement, there was glass shattered across the floor (from the tiny coffee table that used to stand) and papers scattered all over the floor. Not that it was your own apartment, but it was still a pain to look at the mess that surrounded you. There was multiple questionable stains on your clothes that annoyed you and your body ached of exhaustion but someone had to keep a watch while the other slept. How did it get like this? you mentally asked yourself as your eyes wandered to the man whose head was in your lap. His hair was now a bloody red color instead of the brown one he cared so much for back then. He almost looked peaceful while he slept, his hands were bloodied and you could only remember his smirk across his lips as he pulled the trigger on the stranger in the bathroom.

It all began when you met him, the stranger who somehow turned your life around with just a look. He was the boy with the pretty smile and gentle eyes that everyone seemed to love, he always seemed like the kind of guy you’d bring home to your parents. When you met him at the bookstore he was holding an HTML & CSS3 for Dummies that you remember pointing out, while on the other hand you were holding the latest book in the Percy Jackson series. The both of you talked about your picks and were soon exchanging numbers. That’s how it began, simple.

On the many dates the both of you shared, the two of you learnt plenty of things about the other. For example, Taeyong actually dropped out of MIT in the middle of his senior year just to join the opening of the local paper in their IT position while you on the other hand had barely graduated with an english degree. Despite your degree, you still doubted your whole literature knowledge once you graduated. He also shared his hobbies and interests with you, like how he enjoyed singing and making up raps on his free time to avoid the stress of crashing networks and moving hundreds of files to newer servers. Taeyong was the main IT guy in not just only your local paper but in the ones surrounding your small town, usually this meant that he traveled a lot from city to city.

Soon after meeting Taeyong the local newspaper started printing various articles saying that multiple chain large businesses were losing money by the millions in a matter of minutes every other night. Well, they weren’t exactly losing money, it was more like it was being stolen but no one knew exactly how it was being done besides it being through online transactions. The police was doing everything in its power to track the online transfers that were being done but the hacker of the crimes left little to no clues regarding his identity or location. A few days after the online transfers were posted on the newspaper, they posted a new story that detailed the findings of the money at various places scattered around town and even at the entrance of surrounding towns nearby. The money was always found in balloons that were filled with hundreds of bills stuffed inside them, which could only make you smile. These balloons were found at homeless shelters, orphanages, churches and places that desperately needed money yet no one knew the one who was doing it.

The unknown transactions were soon discovered at various computer cafes throughout the city, though whoever was doing it left no track of which computer was used even when all of them were thoroughly checked. This only led more papers to mock the city police, its investigators, and for the person doing the robberies to take advantage of the popularity and go to bigger things. While all of this was happening you lived a quiet life and chose to stay out of these sort of things, though listening to the story unfold was kind of a guilty pleasure. When you and Taeyong would meet up at various places, the both of you would talk about the events and how your lives were.

“You know, this person doing all of this can’t be all bad if they are literally handing out money to the ones in need,” you said as the both of you walked down the street nearing the small cafe on the corner.

“That’s what I think too, they must have a good heart.” You could only nod at Taeyong’s words as you leaned into him to take his hand in yours, smiling up at the man beside you.

The next time you found yourself with Taeyong, you were laying down beside him on his bed. Your legs were lazily laying on top of his trying to warm up your toes as he read through one of his many computer books. One of his hands was resting on your thigh and his finger kept on tracing shapes on your skin while the other held up the book. The tv played in the background while you scrolled through various apps of social media, humming softly a tune that was stuck in your head. Neither of you were paying attention until the tv beeped with an alarm sound, making the both of you look over at it. Breaking News flashed across the TV and the image quickly shifted towards the anchor and a person on the field.

“Good night, this is N.City News and I am your anchor Moon Taeil. We bring you this breaking news to follow up the recent robberies occurring around town. Today at 1:27 pm, an alarm went off in our main offices with a banner that said, ‘We’re coming soon.’ Nothing of such was discussed with anyone outside our offices but tonight at 12:07am, money started raining from the air vents. We were told we are not the only place where this is happening, here we have our junior in training Huang Renjun to fill you in.”

The image shifted from the regular anchor to a younger man (though he still reminded you of a baby) holding a microphone up while police cars were around the building behind him. Your eyebrows only furrowed at the image trying to figure out what it was, but the blue and red lights were making it a little hard to focus. A small gasp came out of your lips as you looked at the building behind the guy. It was the pet shelter you’d always volunteer for, you remember taking Taeyong there with you and watching him play with the kittens. You found yourself smiling at the thought, but quickly shaking your head and looked back at the screen to keep up with the news.

“-right, Taeil, the money was also pouring out of air vents but in this case it was fixed so it wouldn’t fall on any of the cages. No money was thrown in with the animals yet the offices in the back along with the bathrooms and lobby were all flooded with thousands of one hundred dollar bills. The police are trying to gather as much of the cash as possible before the morning when it opens, but as they keep up picking it up the vents keep on pouring out more. We have firefighters trying to figure out which pipe in the back it is so no sprinklers will go off.”

As the Renjun kid finished the image was switched back to the one with Taeil, his hands neatly placed on the desk in front of him. “From what we were told by the authorities this recent heist of this robber was done from various unknown servers across the city causing it to be very difficult to almost impossible to narrow the search down a single one. We will keep you up-” before the achor’s sentence was done, Taeyong flipped the channel leaving you wondering about the rest of the story.

Being with Taeyong was something you never intended to happen, it just sort of did. His hand was always in yours and your lips always found their way to his, wanting more of him than what was probably healthy. That’s why it came as no surprise when he finally asked you to move in with him after eight whole months of officially dating and almost a year of just knowing each other. He shared every single one of his secrets with you and you confided in him all of yours. So there you were packing up the last of the boxes of your belongings, brown boxes scattered all over your living room as your best friend Ten helped you pack the mugs out of your kitchen.

“I can’t believe you’re actually moving in with this guy,”

“Ten, we’ve known him for almost two years please, also he’s literally one of your friends,” you gave Ten a look and he only shrugged at your comment before sticking his tongue out at you, continuing to wrap mugs in newspaper. You had introduced Taeyong to Ten after a few weeks of you guys officially dating, mostly because you wanted Ten to stop asking who was making you smile.

“Be nice to me or I’ll break your favorite unicorn mug.”

Moving in with Taeyong was fairly easy to your surprise, he showed you nothing but love towards you which only made you feel welcomed. Now here three months later, you felt bored out of your mind stuck between the four walls of the empty apartment at almost midnight. It had become a habit of Taeyong’s to go with his friends every other thursday night for drinks and friendly bowling tournaments. He never came home drunk, but there was always a smile on his face when he returned. He also kind of sucked at bowling but you were still very supportive when he told you the stories when the both of you shared dinner. Every now and then you wanted to join your boyfriend on his bowling adventures but you always decided to give him a bit of space.

The following friday it was announced on the news that another robbery was done at the local branch of the bank in the middle of town, it was one of the bigger banks that had been targeted as of yet. By now the media had started calling this person the Robin Hood which only made you smile internally, he was really stealing money from the rich and giving it to the ones in need. His tactic wasn’t the right one but you knew he had good intentions which is why, secretly, you didn’t really want him to get caught. Of course, due to all the money being lost the police were heavy on his tracks, every other day they would do a press conference or maybe publish a comment on how they were getting closer to a lead. It had been published all over that millions of different bills had been written over and they all said, ‘you fools, i wish you luck trying to hunt me down’. Different newspapers published the news and it was also talked about in the evening news. The money was either left inside balloons or it somehow poured through the vents. There was so much money, that you couldn’t see the floor in some of these places, that was the only thing that never changed.

“Hey love, I’m home,” Taeyong said as he slipped into the tiny apartment, your eyes followed the sound of his voice and noticed him taking off his shoes, “Did you miss me?” a cocky grin spread over Taeyong’s lips as he moved towards you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.

You could only smile, this time he wasn't home as late as he usually was and you could only be thankful, it just meant you had more time with your boyfriend. “I don't know, you barely gave me time to miss you.” Taeyong walked towards the couch and flopped down next to you, stretching out his legs on the coffee table while you tucked your legs under yourself. The book in your lap soon forgotten as Taeyong placed a kiss on your forehead and turned the tv on.

“Yes, Taeil, from what we were told, the latest heist of this robber was done three nights ago from, again, from various unknown servers across the city. Just like the previous ones, it’s been causing it to be very difficult, nearly impossible, to narrow the search down a single one. For what they have done, it’s been said by the authorities that this heist was of about half a million dollars, their biggest heist as of now. Although, only twenty five thousand have been given out so far to the local animal shelter this morning. In the usual way of balloons being filled with multiple hundred dollar b-” before the reporter’s sentence was done, Taeyong flipped the channel, leaving you wondering about the rest of the story again.

“How was work?” you asked Taeyong as you let your legs stretch over his lap. Taeyong’s hands moved over your legs, massaging them softly as he turned to face you with a small smile playing on his lips.

“It was fine, Jungwoo was goofing off with the new intern. I think his name is Luke or something like that, I wasn't paying much attention when Doyoung was introducing him to me.”

The rest of the evening went slow as the both of you shared the rest of your previous activities with each other. From how Yeri sent the wrong email to your boss to how this Luke kid made the printer print five hundred pictures of his cat. You could only smile at the stories Taeyong told you, but soon he was standing up and stretching as he tugged his shirt off in front of you. “I’m going to go shower, I’ll meet you in the bedroom,”

“Sounds good, I’m gonna clean up this mess of papers and I’ll meet you there.”

The apartment to begin with was not messy, the both of you always made sure to keep everything tidy. Which was something you picked up from Taeyong early on when you moved in. Not that he was a super clean freak but he liked things to be tidy and clean, which was why the pile of papers on your dining table were burning holes into the back of your head. Bringing the stack of papers with you to the couch, you flipped the channel back to the news which were talking about the weather. While putting the papers in two piles (the keep pile and the trash pile) your eyes caught one with fancy letters. The paper read, ‘you fools, I wish you luck trying to hunt me down’ written over and over again all over the paper in bright colored letters. Your eyes glanced back at the tv which displayed the paper that they had found earlier in the week, the same words plastered on the white piece of paper.

There was a moment where you could only hear your heartbeat in your ears because there was just no way your loving and caring boyfriend could be doing these robberies all across town. There was just no way it was possible. Taeyong, pulling off a robbery? It was impossible, your boyfriend was too gentle. Shaking your head you folded the paper and hid it under one of the cushions on the sofa, hurrying through the rest of the stack and making your way to the bedroom. Desperately trying to forget about the existence of the paper.

Now, you wouldn’t call yourself a stalker, but after finding that paper there was always a nagging feeling in the back of your mind. Which is why on that same thursday, you found yourself in a rental car following Taeyong’s old Camery down the streets of the city. He had called you earlier to let you know he’d be coming home late since he was meeting up with his friends at the bowling alley. Which he did, only he had left twenty minutes after he had arrived there with a laptop he did not come with under his arm. Your eyebrows furrowed as Taeyong got back into his car and drove away from the bowling alley and towards the small internet cafe near the cafe place the both of you went on your first date. At this location, Taeyong lasted a total of six minutes inside the cafe and walked back outside a small bag in hand and no laptop within sight.

After driving an hour to the edge of town trying to keep up with Taeyong’s hectic driving, he pulled up to a bank, but by this point he was no longer wearing his usual work clothes. A long black coat that went down to his knees covered most of him, he matched it all with black pants, a black tee, and some expensive looking black dress shoes. Although it wasn’t out of the ordinary for Taeyong to wear all black, it was to see him in slicked hair, he never did that. It was a new look on him and you could only feel a blush creep over your cheeks as your eyes followed the man. There was a black mask that covered half of his face but through the small binoculars you brought, but you could see the small scar on the corner of his eye.

This Taeyong that walked inside the bank, he had another aura you had not seen on your boyfriend which made you curious and a little scared. Soon enough there was a bright light followed by a bang that made you jump in your seat. There were thoughts flying across your head, making you rub your eyes in frustration. This wasn’t your Taeyong. It just couldn’t be. Your thoughts were broken when you saw Taeyong walk back out of the bank, balloons filled with money in both of his hands and a splatter of red dots across his face.

When Taeyong returned that night you were already in bed, he leaned over to press a kiss to your cheek and walked into the bathroom to shower. You had never paid much attention to his smell when he came home from his outings but somehow he now reeked of iron and you knew exactly why. Biting down on your lip, you made your way down to the living room, lifting the cushion on the couch your fingers shakily grabbed the paper you had hid days prior. The only difference now was that it was folded in more folds than when you had left it. Weird. Another thing that was different now, though, was instead of the taunting ‘you fools, i wish you luck trying to hunt me down’ it read, ‘you should know better, love’ in black ink right in the middle of the paper, covering all of the colored words.

“You know, it’s not right to go through someone else’s things without permission, my love,” you heard Taeyong from behind you as you folded the paper back, holding it close to your chest. There was a small twinge of fear crawling up your chest but there was also another feeling that you couldn’t explain. There was something else that made your stomach flutter. You could only let out the breath you had been holding before turning to face your boyfriend. “I guess, it could be counted as an illegal activity,”

“Taeyo-”

“No, you don’t get to talk. You almost ruined the heist, thank god Mark saw you at the car rental place. We can’t let you ruin what we started, it’s gone too far and we need to finish this once and for all. Now, if you want to leave, I can’t say it won’t hurt but as long as you keep your pretty mouth shut you’ll be fine. Otherwise, I’ll be your nightmare, you know,” Taeyong shrugged as if he wasn’t just threatening your life, more as if he had just told you to wash the dishes or something.

“I don’t,” you said but quickly shut your mouth trying to think of how to phrase the next sentence you were trying to say in your head, “I don’t want to leave,”

A small flash of something flashed over Taeyong’s eyes, you didn’t know if it was hope or maybe something darker hidden behind his brown eyes. You weren’t paying much attention to what he was wearing, but in the corner of your eye you saw that in his left hand he was holding a black gun with silver letters engraved on the side. A shiver ran down your spine but you couldn’t avoid the small feeling of excitement that bubbled inside of you as Taeyong brought the gun to the middle of your chest, “You saw what I did, why do you still want to stay?”

“Because,” you swallowed the small lump in your throat as you began to move closer towards Taeyong. The gun still between the both of you, opening your mouth and softly whispering only loud enough for him to hear you, “I love you,”

There was a small pause between the both of you and then Taeyong moved the gun under your chin, the cool metal feeling cold against your skin. The gun’s muzzle dug into your chin as Taeyong tilted your head up so you could meet his dark eyes “Ah, you love me,”

“Taeyo-“

Before you could let out another word you felt Taeyong’s soft lips over yours, there was something else that wasn’t there before last time you kissed him. A small groan slipped past your lips as you pushed Taeyong up to the wall nearest to you, your lips still attached to each other’s. There was a smirk playing on Taeyong’s lips as he pulled back only turn you over, one of his hands grabbing both of yours and pinning them up above your head. With a slight chuckle Taeyong brought the gun back up to your face, the exposed barrel on it stroking your cheek softly, “Ah, my stupid little girl, I love you,”

“Tae, please listen, I know what you’re doing is not the right thing but I promise you I’m not here to rat you out. I don’t know why you’re doing this but you’re giving money to the poor, you’re helping some people at least so I’m not mad. I just, I wanted the truth,”

“We’ll see.”

After the talk the both of you shared, Taeyong no longer hid this other part of his life with you. On the contrary, he seemed to be more at peace, leaving his ammunition on the coffee table and many other guns in plain sight over the counter. There was also more of those all black outfits he wore in his closet, but all of them were spotless clean and they even smelled like his after shave. There was a small part of you that wanted to know what he did when he was gone with his friends on his outings, but there was just no way you could ask. Your thoughts were disturbed when a knocking on the door caught you off guard. Sighing you walked towards the door and opened it to find a boy with dark black hair standing there with a slanted smile over his lips.

“Hey, is Taeyong in?” The boy across from you asked as he waved at you and then shoved his hands inside his pockets, you looked at him and then back towards the hallway.

“Yeah, he was just finishing up some work from the newspaper but he is in his office,” you said moving out of the way for the boy in front of you to go down the hallway towards his office.

“Thanks, by the way, my name is Mark.”

Your eyes followed the new boy into your house, there was something familiar about the boy walking down the hallway. Thinking back to the previous dates that you and Taeyong shared, you vaguely remembered this Mark boy calling Taeyong in the middle of dinner. Making your way back to your bedroom, you remembered a couple of more people that were in Taeyong’s small friend group. There was a guy with pink hair that reminded you of cherry blossoms, another man who spoke Japanese on the phone while you visited Taeyong in his office. There was also another man who looked a bit older than Taeyong who spoke mandarin on the phone while you were dropping off lunch to Taeyong in his office. All of these guys worked with Taeyong at the newspaper office on a regular basis so you never gave it much thought besides them being his friends.

“Yo, TY,” you heard Mark say as he walked inside Taeyong’s office, you were trying not to eavesdrop on their conversation but his office was right on the other side your bedroom.

Through the wall you heard Taeyong sigh, you could already see him rubbing his temples, “Lee, what are you doing here? I told you not to bring business to my house,”

“Listen dude, I know the boundaries but this new heist we’re pulling needs more planning than what we have so far. This is the biggest one we’re about to do so far and we need to clear out some technical issues that we might have with the program. Kun has been trying to smooth out any bugs and Yuta has been trying to find armory within our sellers in Japan in case of an emergency. Jae has been keeping tabs on all the security around the SM building in case we have to bail and run,”

“First of all, Mark, we’re not going to bail and run. Second, this has to work out because they have to go down, you know all the mess they made cost the city and everyone who got left behind. Third, after this one we’re moving towns anyways so it doesn’t matter. You, me, Y/N and everybody else so we leave no trace. Remember that we all stick together no matter what.” You could almost picture Taeyong’s frustrated face as he finished his sentence. There was a feeling inside your chest from the end of Taeyong’s speech. Was Taeyong really going to take you with him no matter what? You had already told him that you weren’t going to tell the authorities regardless if you stayed with him or not, but apparently that didn’t matter.

“You’re taking Y/N? But man, what if she doesn’t want to go. Are we still taking her no matter what?” at the end of this question you heard another emotion in Mark’s words, something along the lines of empathy for you regardless if he knew you or not.

“She knows too much at this point for us to consider it being an option, she’s coming whether she wants to or not.” When Taeyong finished talking, you couldn’t bear to hear any more of what came out of his mouth, there was just no point to it. That wasn’t the boy you started dating yet, regardless, you still loved him.

After meeting Mark, the rest of Taeyong’s friends found their way to your house whenever they had a question about a certain topic that could not be named. You quickly learnt their names and faces and what they provided for Taeyong. For example, Yuta was head of armory and he consisted in getting all of the guns and rifles they needed for whatever reason. On the other hand, Mark was kind of all over the place, he was pretty much Taeyong’s assistant. Second in hand if you please. Jaehyun was in charge of investigating all of the places they were taking down one by one, looking at them for weeks on end in order to know all of their patterns so none of the heists would go down hill. Kun, was some sort of a computer genius who dropped out of high school for some unknown reason they wouldn’t tell you why yet. You barely talked to any of the boys, only when they spoke to you first and it was basically for a hello or can I have something out of the fridge? kind of situation. Last but not least there was Taeyong, he was the leader of all these operations and, for some reason, he hated SM with all his heart.

The more you thought of it, you didn’t really know much about Taeyong besides his current status. He never talked about his family like you did. He knew that your mom and dad lived in the country, pretty much living on the farm most of their life. You pretty much broke their heart when you moved to the city to start something new. Sighing, you glanced towards the front door where Taeyong was just walking in with a new laptop under his arm.

“Hey love,”

“Hi,” The relationship you both had been a little jagged since you found out about his nightly routines. It wasn’t that you were extremely pissed off, you just wanted to know the truth instead of being hidden in the dark.

“Y/N, I know our relationship has been suffering for the past couple of weeks since you found out about everything, and I’d like to say I’m sorry for that. I never meant to take you into my mess but now that you’re part of it, you’re going to have to run with us,” he stopped talking for a quick second taking, in your reaction and softly sighing when he saw you tense up, “So for the next week you’re going to be training with Yuta on how to hold and shoot a gun properly. I can’t have you not knowing what to do in case of an emergency or if something happens to me in this new heist.”

The thought of Taeyong not coming back to you was one of the scariest things you had ever thought about. There was a feeling of worry at the pit of your stomach that only made you want to puke. Sighing to yourself, you looked back at the man in front of you, nodding at his words.

“If there is no other choice, I guess I’ll have to do it,” you said as your arms crossed over your chest, meanwhile all Taeyong could do is give you a sigh.

“I don’t want you to have to look at it from that point of view, I’m only doing what’s better for your safety,” he replied to you, dropping his keys in the small bowl in the coffee table in front of you.

You could only roll your eyes at his words as he sat down next to you on the couch. Keeping your eyes focused on the tv as you spoke, “Well, if you were not doing all of this we wouldn’t have to be there in the first place,”

From the corner of your eyes you saw Taeyong clench his jaw shut, his lips turning into a thin line before he talking to you once again, “You have no idea all the pain that they’ve cost me, it was only a matter of time before somebody did something about all of their crimes. Only somehow I ended up being the first one to man up and do something about it.”

“Then explain to me, what did they do so bad that you have to do all these things including killing people?”

“I didn’t kill anyone, I have just hurt them a little or...” Taeyong only struggled when you finish the sentence. It only reminded you of one of the previous conversations you’ve both shared, much like when he first told you when you found out.

“That’s not the point Taeyong, all I want to know is why you’re doing all of this? Why are you getting your hands bloodied in this mess?”

“Because it cost me everything that my family had, for the same reason that my sister passed away three years ago due to the fact that I could not provide enough money to keep her alive. The fact that my dad lost his business when he decided to join in partnership with SM and them stealing from right under his nose without him knowing. All of that and we were not the only family that they’ve done this to. With Jaehyun, his mom passed away five years ago to some cancer from working at the factory SM ran in their town. Yuta had to travel all the way here to hunt them down when they destroyed his town when some chemicals leaked into the water system. All of us have something we want justice for, this is not for nothing.” With that, Taeyong walked away from you and towards the bedroom not saying another word to you or even sparing you a second glance.

After this new argument you had with Taeyong, you couldn’t help but to feel guilty about everything he had just said to you. The truth is, you wanted to know everything but so far you knew enough to know where he was coming from. You knew Taeyong was not the hard, stone cold person he appeared to be, he was soft and very sentimental inside. That was the man that you had fallen in love with and still loved regardless of his actions now.

Walking from the living room back to the kitchen, your eyes widened at the figure standing in front of your fridge. There was Mark, rummaging through the fridge looking for something to eat. “Jesus, Mark, could you at least make yourself noticeable when you’re in the house?”

“Well, I heard you and Taeyong arguing again and I didn’t want to disturb you two in the middle of it. I didn’t want to be that person,” Mark said as he took a bite of the apple in his left hand. Shrugging, he walked over towards you and jumped up to sit on the counter, looking back at you as he leaned his head back on the cabinets behind his head. “Listen, I know it’s none of my business but you should really cut the guy some slack. He’s not a bad person, it's just the way his whole life changed from one day to the next that made him the way he is. You probably don’t believe me but I’ve known him for a while now, I used to live next-door to him and his sister used to babysit me. I know way more than I should probably know about him and it’s not my place to tell you what happened but he is kind of traumatized,”

With your shoulders slumped, you sighed as Mark finished his sentence. After all Taeyong had just told you part of the reason why he was doing these things. The only thing is, you wanted to know the whole thing not just part and you needed Taeyong to tell that to you, “I just want the truth Mark, I don’t want anymore secrets. If I’m in this for a while now, I want to know everything. I don’t want anything to be hidden from me anymore,”

“He didn’t tell you the details yet but he told you the most important stuff and that’s all you need to know. At this point, the less you know the better, trust me, he’s doing it for your own safety.” With that, Mark jumped off the counter and walked down the hallway towards Taeyong’s office, closing the door after him.

Walking back towards your shared bedroom with Taeyong, you found him going over some papers in his lap, his glasses riding on the bridge of his nose as he glanced over towards you. He said nothing but went back to the piles of papers scattered on the bed, there were different sticky notes on each pile and you couldn’t help but smile. “Give me a few minutes to get this sorted and then we can go to bed,”

“That’s fine, but uh, I actually wanted to apologize,” you said after letting out an awkward cough from the back of your throat. Taeyong’s eyes flew up to meet yours, there was a small twinkle you had almost forgotten was there, “Mark said some stuff to me and I know he’s right, I just don’t like to admit things to myself sometimes and I’m sorry,”

A small sigh slipped past his lips as he set down the papers in his hands, getting up from the bed and walking over towards you. His hands found their way to their spot on your hips as you leaned more into him unconsciously, “My love, as much as you frustrate me to the point where I want to put a gun up to your chest, again, I’d rather die than to be here without you. I know you want to know many things about this but I also don’t want to put you in danger due to your knowledge,”

“I know that, but I also want you to know whenever you finally want to talk about it, that I'm here with my ears wide open to listen,” you nodded as you finished your sentence, glancing back up to the man in front of you.

A small smile spread over Taeyong’s lips as he nodded along with you, his hands moving from the spot on your hips to hold your face in his hands. His fingers moving over your cheeks as he leaned in to press a soft kiss to your lips before speaking again, “Do you know how much I love you?”

“I might need a refresher actually,” you answered while your own lips tugged into a smile, moving your hands around his neck. It had been a bit too long since you and Taeyong had shared a moment like this but suddenly the feeling hit you, this was home. He was your home.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

After a long training session with Yuta, you let yourself flop down on the couch next to Taeyong who was busy typing away on the keyboard in front of him. Jaehyun and Kun were busy in Taeyong’s office trying to contact some server in Russia to avoid leaving any traces behind on this new heist. There were plenty of guns laid out on the dining table and by now, you knew how to disassemble each and every single one of them and put them back together. Being part of this was not too bad but the work on your body was exhausting, Taeyong told you to quit your job due to the fact that all of you were leaving after this was over which was exactly what you did. Taeyong’s hand reached over to yours, your palm was now covered in calluses which made him frown and traced over the harsh marks on your soft skin.

“New ones?”

Shaking your head, you could only turn to look at him, hair sticking to your forehead from the sweat, “I don’t think so, the old ones just burst when Yuta went to train me over hidden knives and gu-”

“Jesus, Yuta! I told you basics for crying out loud, not the entire thing. At least not yet, couldn’t you have waited until we were out of here?” Groaning, Taeyong let his laptop fall shut and he walked over towards the dining room where Yuta was cleaning out the nuzzle in one of the rifles. “What the hell happened to basics?”

You could only picture Yuta rolling his eyes at Taeyong as you followed behind, “A hidden knife could be the difference between her being alive or dead in a matter of seconds TY,” There was something else in Taeyong’s eyes when he starred directly at the man sitting down in front of him, “Plus, you need to chill. You’ve been a pain in everyone’s ass lately, we know what we’re doing remember?”

By the end of Yuta’s sentence you only wanted to sigh but instead you took Taeyong’s hand, you lead him back to your bedroom. Giving him a small smile as he sat down on the mattress in the middle of the floor. There were boxes surrounding the both of you from the move but you couldn’t bring yourself to care enough to continue packing the remaining of your belongings while Taeyong was like this. Clothes were still in your closet and there was plenty of books scattered on the floor that went from computer science to kamasutra positions. That was a book which you were shy to show to Taeyong when the both of you started getting too comfortable in the routine. A blush covered you cheeks at the memory of it but your thoughts were soon broken apart by Taeyong who was tugging on your shirt.

“Have I really been an asshole lately?” he asked in a small voice as he looked up at you, this look on him always reminded you of a baby kitten which only made your insides melt.

“A little, but we all know you’re on the edge lately so we let it slide.” you replied as you sat down next to him, taking his hand in yours and giving it a small squeeze. You knew it wasn’t much but he needed the reassurance in every way possible and you were there to give it to him even if you didn’t think it was such a good idea.

“It’ll all be over soon, just think of it that way.” The way he said it only made the hairs on your arms stand up and your insides feel like they were being turned inside out, but you could only nod and put on a brave face.

You had never seen Taeyong get himself ready for one of his missions but seeing him turn from your adorable boyfriend to this emotionless human was something you would never forget. As he traded in his usual skinny jeans for some pants that looked as if they were a mix between sweatpants and cargo pants you noticed the twinkle in his eyes start to shut down. There was no sign of remorse in his eyes and the thought of Taeyong being this person scared you a little bit, not that you would ever tell anyone but that made you aware of every single move he made. There were knives and guns hidden throughout his body in case of any emergencies, while he was still going to be carrying a gun on each of his hands. The long black trench coat you had seen before was on his shoulders once again and this time there was a black turtleneck sweater that covered his torso up to his neck. There was also a skin tight bullet proof vest underneath but it was barely visible under the sweater. His black dress shoes were traded in for black military boots as he walked towards you, handing you your own black outfit. There was something in his eyes when his eyes met yours that reminded you of the old Taeyong but that was quickly gone as he turned to look at the rest of the guys who were already dressed in black. You could only nod as you let them talk, Taeyong giving them a brief pep talk to lead them into this. Biting down on your lip, you walked out of the office and towards your now empty room to change.

The outfit Taeyong had given you was nothing out of the ordinary, black cargo sweatpants like his, a black tshirt, the vest that was meant to go under your shirt, and a black bomber that was similar to Mark’s. Getting dressed was the easy part but as you tied the military boots you realized how this was about to go down, you were about to go rob a fucking company for crying out loud. Looking back at the mirror, you grabbed your matching face mask and turned towards Taeyong who was standing in the door, no face mask but instead a black bandana covering half of his face.

“I never thought you’d look this good in this outfit,” he let out a small chuckle as he took your hand, bringing it up to his face and giving it a kiss through the cloth. “Ready to go, princess?”

Making your way down to the middle of town and through the streets that you used to call home, you were now sealing your ticket deal out of there with no chance of return. You took a look at the people around you, Taeyong who was on the driver’s seat with Mark on his right talking to him about some new video game he had found. Kun and Jaehyun were talking about the security on the bank while Yuta was putting ammo into the guns they were bringing in. Sighing to yourself, you looked down at your hands and thought about everything that was about to happen.

“Remember, you are only to come out of the van in case of emergencies but there will be none. Is that understood?” Taeyong said as he sat right in front of you as you tied your shoe laces on the combat boots on your feet. “You are to have a gun and a knife on you at all times, even when we walk out of this place. You are to wear the chip in your ear for us to make contact if we get separated and for either of us to know your location,”

“Tae, I got it, don’t worry. We’ll be fine,”

“You don’t get it, you’re everything I need and I’m putting you on the line here. Honestly, I’d be nothing without you and I can’t lose you,”

The memory floated on your mind as the car parked about two blocks away from the bank, Taeyong turning to look at all of you while he pulled the bandana back over his face. All of them nodded to each other before Taeyong turned to look at you, there was a soft look in his eyes as he pointed to his mask telling you to put yours on. After the cloth was over your face Taeyong, Mark, Jaehyun, and Yuta made their way outside. They all walked different ways while Jaehyun ran towards the nearest building climbing up the escape stairs and up towards the roof. Kun stayed back with you in order to use the computer to retrieve all the wired money.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be fine.” Kun said as you looked through the window at the man walking away from you. You could only nod as Taeyong walked towards the building, his mask covering half of his face but the scar at the corner of his eye was there. His hands were tucked inside the pockets of his coat, he looked powerful as he took long strides into the building.

It must have been at least ten minutes before you heard two gunshots making the hair on your arms stand up. Your eyes could only look between Kun and the building where the rest of the boys were. There was a beeping on one of the many screens and Kun quickly pressed the bluetooth in his ear, “Jaehyun! Listen, you can’t just ru- no, get Yuta to help! Taeyong said she was not to get involved!” as the last words came out of Kun’s mouth you were already getting out of the van, only for his hand to reach back to you. “Goddammit Y/N, you can’t go,”

“Kun, let me go, I can help!” you tugged your arm back from his grip only to see him groan and let you go. His hand pushing his hair back from his face and shaking his head, a sigh escaping his lips as he turned towards the screen.

“Listen, go help them get Mark out and I’ll pull up the van in the front. Most of the money is already wired anyways.”

Nodding, you took off running towards the building, the cool breeze felt refreshing against your clothed skin. There was an adrenaline rush entering your bloodstream as you made your way up the steps, fixing your hair before pulling the door open. There were two police men holding guns towards Taeyong who was in front of a wounded Mark who was holding his side, a pool of red was starting to spread under him. Oh fuck. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on you as your feet kicked some glass away from your path. Taeyong’s eyes narrowed at you making you only nod as your hands glided along your sides pulling out two of the many hidden knives on you.

The only thing you could think of was of how Yuta had taught you to throw weeks prior to this. Your eyes focused on the two men in blue who stood in front of you before the knives made their way out of your grip. They landed on the strip of skin visible between their ironed shirts and their chin as small drops of dark red blood slowly dribbled out, soon becoming a steady stream of red liquid. Your eyes flickered between Taeyong and the gasping men in front of him that reached for him with bloody hands. Panic settled at the pit of your stomach as you realized what you had done, your hands were soon trying to take off the mask that seemed to take away the oxygen from your lungs.

“Yong!” you heard Yuta’s voice from somewhere behind you. Soon enough Taeyong was in front of you, pushing your hands away from your face and fixing the mask back. Your eyes went from Taeyong’s form in front of you to where Jaehyun was getting Mark up with the help of Yuta, leaving a trail of red as they walked towards the doors. It had only been a couple of seconds but you could hear the police sirens starting to near, that was when you felt a tug on your arm.

“Listen darling, I love you but, we gotta go. Now.”

Time felt like as if it were dragging as you slowly walked with Taeyong towards the doors, as you started shaking your head trying to get out of the daze you were still in. Taeyong’s hand was in yours and giving it a comforting squeeze, meanwhile you walked a bit faster to keep up with him as the both of you made it out. Jaehyun and Yuta were now getting into the van as various police cars started pulling up closer to the building. Taeyong pressed the small bluetooth chip in his ear and started speaking as bright red lights started getting closer, “You guys have to go, get Mark patched up. Me and Y/N will find a way to meet you guys, just go.”

From the small chip in your ear you heard Jaehyun scoffing, “As if, run. We can still get away,” Taeyong shook his head and flicked his finger towards the nearest empty street, you could barely see but Kun only nodded and started driving off. There was more arguing from the bluetooth but you knew Kun wasn’t going to stop, “Fuck Taeyong, you better keep yourself alive.”

The next thing you saw was Taeyong pulling out the small device and stepping on it, you copied his actions and did the same with yours. The police was now less than fifty feet away from the both of you which is when he finally turned to you, “We gotta run, see that silver car? You are to get in as soon as I get it unlocked,”

“Got it.” The both of you ran as shouts from the police started coming in, you could only swallow the lump in your throat as your legs moved the fastest they had in awhile. Taeyong was a couple of steps in front of you, his hand digging inside his pockets and finally pulling out his favorite gun. As Taeyong stopped at the driver’s side of the car, the butt of the gun met the window, shattering the glass in many little pieces. His hand went to unlock the doors which only made you get in as soon as you could only, this was when bullets started making sounds against the metal.

“Fuck.” You heard Taeyong mutter as he started working on some cables from under the steering wheel. Peaking your head back towards the window, your eyes locked on a few officers that were slowly moving around the car with their guns aimed at the both of you.

“Tae, you gotta move a little faster please,” you whispered as you grabbed one of the guns that was strapped against your thigh, biting down on your lip as your fingers found their way towards the hammer. Tugging on it back before you made yourself aim towards the people coming towards you. The police were less than ten feet away, crowding around the car as the engine finally roared to life. A shaky breath escaping from your lips as relief washed over you, turning to look at Taeyong who was busy driving away from the scene. “Oh, thank god.”

“As long as you got me, we’ll find a way out.” Taeyong said as he reached over to take your hand in his. His hand was a little rough from earlier and there was blood caked under his nails but you didn’t seem to care anymore. You were part of his world and you had to learn to accept it. Though there was still a nagging feeling eating you alive, but you chose not to pay attention to that.

The both of you had been on the road for two hours, the radio kept going in and out about the robbery. Of course, the police were still trying to locate the car the both of you were escaping in so there was still something to worry about. Rubbing your eyes, you could only sigh and look out the window, but your eyebrows soon furrowed when you turned into an apartment complex you hadn’t recognized. Looking around, you tried to locate yourself before turning to Taeyong who was pulling up the mask once again to cover his face.

“Stay here, look at that window on the corner. When you see me turn on the light you can come in,” he stated as he pulled the silencer on his gun and carefully put it on the barrel. You could only nod as the gun was put back into his coat and he made his way out of the car, walking up the stairs into the second floor. A couple of minutes passed by before there was a small bang that sounded barely audible from where you were and then a few seconds later the light was turned on. You brought your hand to your hair, pulling off the hair tie and letting your hair fall down your shoulders as if to cover your face as you walked into the night sky.

Your feet moved one in front of the other as you made your way up the stairs and into the apartment whose door was slightly opened. Walking inside, you took a look at your surroundings, taking notice of the papers that were scattered on the floor, reminding you of how you and Taeyong would sit down and organize the ones back home. A few shells from bullets were laying on top of the white sheets of paper and a streak of red was now leading from the living room towards the bathroom. Taeyong walked out of the bathroom with a few dots of red covering the side of his face, his bandana hung around his neck as he approached you. In one hand, he was holding a box of home hair dye and in the other was his gun with specks of blood on the silencer drying down. “How good are you with hair dye?”

It had only been a couple of hours, Taeyong’s head resting on your lap while he slept and you kept a look out until midnight. His bright red hair stood out against his black outfit that had multiple darker spots that you knew were not hair dye. In the pit of your stomach, you still felt a little weird about the whole situation, but now you prefered to know less. It had been your first time and somehow you ended up with a body count that only floated in the back of your mind when everything was silent.

“So now what?” you asked Taeyong as you flopped down on the couch across from him as he walked behind you, a towel in his hair as he dried it down. The towel stained in a bright red that you didn’t know if it was blood or if it was dye.

“We rest, we take off at midnight. We should be able to arrive at the safe house in the morning where the rest of the guys should be waiting for us,” Taeyong replied as he sat down next to you.

Sighing, you turned and grabbed the towel from his hands, helping him dry off his wet hair, “And then? Are we just going to start over?”

“I mean, I guess we can, we could keep running this for the rest of our lives. We’re pretty much invencible,” there was a small chuckle that followed his comment as he finished. There was also a small glimmer in the corner of his eye that you caught and it only made the pit in your stomach grow. “Then again, we could find jobs and play nice,”

“You like this don’t you?”

“Y/N, that’s n-”

“But it is Yong, you like this life. I can see it and I’m sure the guys saw it too, I’ve never seen you so passionate about another project in your life since this. Yeah, it’s terrifying but I’m going to be there with you all the way.”

The memory of the earlier moment had you still a bit shaken up, you had pretty much signed a deal to be with him ride or die. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you looked down at the man in your lap, if you wanted to end this you could. You were still carrying the rest of your weapons on your body and you were fairly certain on how each of them were supposed to be used. The idea of ending it all here and turning everybody in felt foreign to your mind but it still kept floating around.

You were busy looking outside the window when you heard the door knob start to jiggle, the boy on your lap quickly getting up from his position. Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked at Taeyong who had a smirk on his lips, his expression changed the moment he turned to you and looked down the hallway. He pointed towards the last door before the bathroom, you could only nod as he picked up the gun from the floor and made his way behind the front door. You moved inside the empty bedroom and looked around, there was an array of photos on the walls along with awards on one of the bookshelves. To OH SEHUN, from SM ENT. one of the awards read as you glanced through the bookshelf.

The photos showed three men, two of them were obviously younger which only made you assume they were investors of this SM ENT. Your hand reached out to grab one of the photos that was on the wall, there was a third guy who seemed shorter than either of them. The sound of footsteps caught you off guard as you quickly pulled your hand back and ignored the photo behind you.

“Taeyong, dude, we can talk about it seriously,” the stranger pleaded as he walked back towards the bathroom. You leaned to peek between the door and the wall, the gun was aimed at the stranger’s head as he slowly backed up into the sink. There was something familiar about this guy that you couldn't help but notice, “C’mon, put that down, we can talk,”

“There’s nothing to talk about, you and Chanyeol ran with my idea and then pretended it was yours just to make money off of it. You knew I need that money more than you and your rich family, and because of you she’s dead!” Taeyong exclaimed as he pushed the taller man towards the tub, the mirror reflecting the side of his face, giving you a clear sight of Taeyong.

The taller man was taken aback by Taeyong’s words that he hadn’t even noticed the other man who was already in the tub, his body already cold. “Wait, no Bokyoung can’t be dead. Taeyong, stop playing, you can’t be serious!”

“You killed her, Sehun.” The voice that came out of Taeyong was emotionless and it sort of reminded you of a robot as he pulled on the hammer of the gun, his aim never leaving the man in front of him.

“Taeyong, I had no idea, please.” The taller man was pretty much begging at this point and from what you could see there was no way Taeyong was going to let him go.

Bringing the gun up to the stranger’s forehead, Taeyong tilted his head to the side as he spoke, “Thank god that you won’t see her where you’re going.”

“Taey-” whatever the man was going to say was cut short with a silent bang that rang through your ears as your eyes looked through the mirror back at Taeyong. The smirk that appeared earlier was now plastered across his face once again. A cold chill made its way down your back as you moved away from the door, backing away until your body knocked into the bookshelf. Turning your head to the side, you looked at the picture once again, the men who were now laying in the bathtub were in that picture along with Taeyong.

“Who were they?” you asked Taeyong as you got into the newest car which was kind of taken from the two dead men in the tub. Is not like they’re going to ask for it back, you mentally thought to yourself as you looked over at the man next to you who was pulling out of the parking lot.

“They were nobody’s until I came along with all the brains,” he replied in a cold tone as his fingers tightened around the wheel. His knuckles almost turning a pinky white before he sighed and turned to look at you for a brief second. “They were the reason Bokyoung died, I was on the team with them and we were supposed to turn in our idea for a multi wall protection with zero traceable coding behind. The day of the presentation, I was let go by SM, they told me they didn’t need my ideas anymore. Of course, I was upset but then from one of the leaders, I found out they had picked Chanyeol and Sehun’s idea. My idea. I tried to reach all of them but I got no replies, no answers so I decided to wait.”

Taeyong only shrugged as he finished his sentence and relaxed back against the chair, his hand reaching over to take yours in his. “How long have you been keeping tabs on them?”

“Ever since I went to my bowling outings, Kun is a lot more into this than me. He was the one who taught me how to trace them without leaving a sign behind. To hack into CCTV’s to see where they’d be going, track cell phone records, all of those things.” His hand felt warm against yours as you stared at the road ahead of you, his thumb tracing soothing circles over your knuckles. Nodding, you decided against asking more questions about the situation, it was obvious Taeyong had eyes and ears everywhere. In the back of your mind, you could only think of what would’ve happened if you had stayed behind, your every move would’ve been watched by him no doubt.

Moonlight came through the sunroof, shining over the rings across Taeyong’s fingers as his fingers laced into yours. At this point, the clock on the dashboard read 3:15 am and you were coming in and out of consciousness, sleep finally taking its toll on you. There was a feeling of protection when Taeyong did small things like hold your hand that made your heart skip a beat. Closing your eyes, you finally let sleep wash over you, Taeyong’s distant humming lulling you to sleep.

It had been less than an hour before you felt Taeyong shake your leg, making you groan as your eyes once again adjusted to the darkness. There was a sound of sirens in the background that reminded you of white noise, but sleep was still heavy on you and you weren’t fully functional yet. “Baby, c’mon you gotta wake up,” Taeyong’s voice was a bit strained as he kept one of his hands on the wheel while the other kept shaking your leg to wake you up.

“What’s going on?” you groaned out as your hands stretched over your head, blinking a few times before turning to him. There was a serious look on his face as his eyes shifted between the mirrors and the road in front of him.

“We might have a little company.” He said as he reached over and pulled out his gun, setting it on your lap. Your breath hitched, knowing what he was asking, you could only nod as you began to reload the magazine.

“Fuck.”

Beginning to slowly sit up, the sunroof above the both of you slowly opened up, revealing the twinkling stars above the both of you. Your body fit smoothly between the small rectangle and you could see that behind you there were about three police cars chasing the car. “Stop the car!” one of the speakers from the cars boomed through the night. Adrenaline rushed through your body as your body turned to face the incoming cop cars behind you. Bringing the gun up, your hand pulled the hammer on the top, aiming at the police car and quickly shooting four bullets out. A loud boom and a hiss from the car coming to a halt suddenly was heard through the empty highway. The police car behind the both of you screeched and stopped, covering the road and the other cars stop behind it abruptly.

As soon as they stopped, officers ran out of their cars, shooting various bullets your way and making Taeyong yank your leg down. It was barely enough time as bullets buzzed over the roof of the car. Meanwhile Taeyong could only press on the gas, the needle on the dashboard hitting close to a hundred as you both escaped the scene. “That’s my girl!”

There was a grin on your lips as you leaned over to press a kiss down to his cheek, fixing yourself back into your seat, “That was kind of exciting.” Your eyes turned to look back at Taeyong who had a smile plastered on his lips.

As you reached for his hand, you noticed Taeyong’s smile fade into a blank face and you could only look at him in confusion. That was until you looked ahead, there was about a dozen police cars surrounding the car and there was no way to drive out of.

“Lee Taeyong! Y/L/N Y/N! Come out with your hands up!”

Your eyes looked back at Taeyong who stopped the car about twenty feet from the other cars, his breathing was calmed as he turned to look at you, “You know I love you, right? That you’re the best thing that could’ve happened to me in my twenty four years of living in this miserable Earth. That you’re the love of my life and I’m just sorry I couldn’t give you a better life, a life outside of this and I’m so sorry I dragged you into this,”

“Lee Taeyong, I could’ve left you back there at that stupid building to die yet I killed two people for you. If that doesn’t show how devoted I am to you then what does?” There was a brief moment where he could only chuckle and stare at you. The police was still screaming from outside the car, but at that moment it was just you and him, nothing else.

“You trust me, correct?”

“With my life.”

That was all he needed to know, within seconds the car was picking up speed as it reached the people and cars in front of you. The car colliding with everything in its path, Taeyong’s hand in yours as your world turned into utter darkness.

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