#i had a really fucking nice day. i love everyone. GoodNight. <33< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[ghostzzy]

THANK U SO MUCH FOR CURSEDWIP CHAT TODAY <33

[sirianasims]

Chapter 33

Forever & Always

I had hoped the constant worrying would go away after we got married. After all, wasn’t that what I had been waiting for? And then we had Hailey, and a year later we had a mortgage in Copperdale, far away from everyone we knew. I was also pregnant again.

I loved my little family with an intensity that scared me, and it made my anxiety even worse.

Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and go to Hailey’s room, just to check that she was still breathing, and hadn’t been taken or hurt somehow.

I couldn’t go back to bed until I felt certain that she was fine.

In the mornings I woke up next to Samuel, wondering how much longer it would take before he was tired of me.

Or maybe he would fall in love with someone else. Or get in some sort of horrible accident or get sick and die, leaving me all alone.

I was constantly on edge.

Some days it felt like my anxiety sucked all the air from the house and even Samuel was struggling to breathe around me.

On those days, the fights got bad.

“I am not asking for much, Samuel, I just want you to spend a little time with your family sometimes! But you always put work first, like Hailey and I aren’t important! Like you don’t even care about us!”

“You’re being ridiculous, this has nothing to do with my work. This is about you and your own fucked up issues, Freya. Just like no amount of medals or trophies were ever going to make you feel good enough, there’s nothing I can do or say to convince you that I care.”

“You keep expecting me to manage all these feelings you’re having about random shit. You don’t just wear your emotions on your sleeve, you make them other people’s problem. My problem. And I can’t bring my bad mood to work, people depend on me. I’m a doctor, I have a responsibility to my patients, and -“

“I am aware that you’re a doctor, Samuel – because you never ever let me forget it! But you’re also a husband and a father and you have certain responsibilities here too!”

Yesterday had been pretty bad.

Samuel was quiet the next morning. I walked up to him as he was getting ready to leave for work.

“I’m sorry about last night. It’s just hormones. Promise you’ll come back.”

“Dammit, Freya, why are you so afraid that I’m going to leave you? Do you really think I’d give up on my wife, my daughter and my unborn child just because of a stupid argument? Do you not trust me at all?”

“You did once leave me for several years just because I wouldn’t kiss you.”

“Are you serious? That was a decade ago! We were fifteen, Freya!”

“I know, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just having my stupid feelings as usual. I’ll try not to bother you with them.”

“Freya, don’t. Please. Not now.”

“Listen, I promise that I will be back tonight, but right now I really need to get to the hospital. I’m already late.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Everything I did wore Samuel down, and I knew I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop myself. I needed him to stop me, to calm me down. I’d argue with him about things I didn’t even care about, just to have him look at me and tell me that everything was fine. To make him remind me, just once more, that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Only in bed were we in perfect sync. By now it was like a precisely choreographed dance, the same every time. We’d go to bed, turn off the lights. Most nights, we would kiss and say goodnight and then turn around, falling asleep with our backs to each other.

Occasionally, maybe once or twice a month, one of us would make the kiss linger ever so slightly, and then Samuel would move his hands down my body, making sure I was ready before entering me.

On those nights, we’d fall asleep with our bodies pressed close. It was nice. And it was a break from the reality of what we had become. But as I got close to my due date, even that stopped.

beginning / previous / next

[temporalreverie]

Im bored & i saw an ask game so I just answered them all for fun~

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

I don't have an ex

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

No

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Eh, it's complicated

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

Yes :3

6. What are you excited for?

Just having fun

7. What happened tonight?

???? It's morning. Hi.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

I support women <3 be safe with alcohol though

9. Is confidence cute?

Yes!

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Coffeee

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Im paranoid but like mostly my dad & brother. But Aidan for sure.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Yes but my jeans phase died when my thighs came in

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Idk hopefully play katamari and talk to friends

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

IDK.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

I kiss my parents goodnight so no.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

Im always changjng

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Either my marefriend or Aidan depending on the subject

18. The last time you felt broken?

Hmm sometime in the past few days I think i had a tiny moment but not seriously for at least a month.

19. Have you had sex today?

Im still drinking my coffee calm down..

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

Just spam out job applications low care style and make it their problem. Waste the companies time not ur own

21. Are you in a good mood?

Kind of but I'm soooo sleepy

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

My parent have swam with whale sharks once that would be nice

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Yes! Mine are maybe a little more colorful but we both have gray with a ring of hazel orange

24. What do you want right this second?

To hug my girlfriend & fall asleep

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Im in a unique situation for this question where my GF is poly and already is with a few other ppl before we started dating and I'm the most comfortable talking through being BPD triggered with her so like we could talk through it if I got bothered

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

I haven't dyed my hair for a few years. going pink could be fun

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

I laugh at a lot of things rlly easily so probably no. All sorts of jokes even bad puns, and just like cute or charming behavior

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

I don't remember laugh out loud. Probably something my girlfriend said last night

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Long distance is hard but I don't feel like that's exactly the same as missing someone. I was thinking about my late childhood dog the other day and how I can still image the feel of petting her in various places, the shape of her body and the texture of her hair on like her back and in front of her ears and her neck.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Ya

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

My dad is nice

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

We are marefriends!!

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

Yes. I had a pespi for the first time in ages a couple days ago and it knocked me the fuck out

34. Listening to?

Just noises rn but I've been playing We <3 Katamari so various variations of the main theme keep playing in my head.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

I go through phases of using a little note book for organization but not recently.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

I kiss my parents goodnight so yeah

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not rlly, it's like infatuation & good first impressions. Love of everything is like built up over time.

38. Who did you last call?

My marefriend <3

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

I don't remember, but Im always dancing alone with myself

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Saying goodnight to my parents

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

My mom bought cupcakes and a scone a month ago and we all agreed the cupcakes were pretty bland #sconesweep

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

Not this morning no

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Maybe years in the past? Not rlly recently.

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don't want skin cancer </3 or a tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

No

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Close to. Very sleepy

47. Who was the last person to call you?

My dad

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Always!!

49. Do you dance in the car?

Yea

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Probably in some boy scouts thing years ago

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Maybe graduation?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

I love music

53. Is Christmas stressful?

A little but mostly fun

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes they r my best friend

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Cherry

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Engineer, artist

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Too much

59. Take a vitamin daily?

Probably should

60. Wear slippers?

In this season

61. Wear a bath robe?

No

62. What do you wear to bed?

Soft pants + white t shirt

63. First concert?

Green Day probably

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target

65. Nike or Adidas?

Esos son Reebok o son Nike?

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheeto

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Im ageric to peanuts & i love sunflower.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

My fortnite parody of Romeo & Juliet I wrote this January.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Hmmmm probably not

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

No

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Ya

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Never been in one but i probably could've done well

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yes, i cry easily

74. What is your favorite book?

Idk reading is for losers. Sorry that's a lie

75. Do you study better with or without music?

With

76. Regularly burn incense?

No, I'm a good cook so i don't burn stuff <3

77. Ever been in love?

💞

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Vylet Pony i guess

79. What was the last concert you saw?

Ummmm idk. I feel like it was something eh with my parents we just passed by. Like third eye blind

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Not rlly a tea person. Cold?

81. Tea or coffee?

Coffeeee

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Smirking dog

83. Can you swim well?

Decent. I love water

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes

85. Are you patient?

Very

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

Idk. I guess DJ has more powers so DJ

87. Ever won a contest?

A few. I won a jellybean guessing one like 15+ years ago

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Noooo

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Green but all 'lives are beautiful

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Im gay..

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Under chimnie

92. Do you want to get married

Down the line

Link to original

[enchantestuff]

hatred - Charles Leclerc

I think I might make this into a mini series with an enemies to civil with each other to friends to lovers kind of vibe but I'm still not sure, anyways here's Charles x reader wanting to rip each others throats but instead end up ripping each others clothes off

gonna dedicate this to the lovely @yungbludz​ happy birthday <33

GIF NOT MINE

warnings; smut as per usual, Charles being very egotistical, choking, language, enjoy <3

2k words 

part two

It was safe to say you and Charles hated each other. You knew hate was a strong word, but you also knew that you felt nothing but hatred for the man. You hated his cocky smile and the fact that everyone seemed to be obsessed with him. You also hated the fact that you had to spend the whole weekend with him.

You worked for Ferrari, meaning that, unfortunately, you had to spend a lot of time with Charles. You were actually excited when you first got the job of being Charles Leclerc's PR manager. You had admired the driver and couldn’t wait to work alongside him, but that all changed once you actually met him and realised what an ass he really was. Everyone else loved him, of course, because he seemed to be nice to every single person on the planet except you.

You and a select number of the Ferrari team had been invited to a special charity event taking place in the ballroom of a luxurious hotel. You had all decided to check into the hotel the day before the event, in order to save time and familiarise yourself with the venue. Of course, according to your job description, you also had to run through the possible questions Charles could be asked with him.

Although Charles loathed you, he had to admit you were good at your job and managed to prepare him for every possible scenario, which is why he hadn’t begged Mattia to fire you, at least not yet.

You sighed as you reached the check in desk, all you wanted to do was flop onto the hotel bed and sleep until the morning. You gave the lady behind the desk your name and watched as she quickly typed on the computer in front of her. “Ah yes, Y/N and Charles, room 506”

Your eyes widened at her words as you shook your head. “No no, that can’t be right” you pleaded as you leaned your arms against the counter.

“Im sorry ma'am, but the booking is for the both of you” she explained with apologetic eyes as she handed you the room key.

“Take your time, Y/N. Not like we aren’t all exhausted from our long trip” you heard Charles scold from behind you. You quickly turned around and shoved the room key into his chest.

“Politetly, go fuck yourself, Leclerc” you muttered as you shouldered past him and walked straight to Mattia on the other side of reception. Mattia sighed once you walked over and gestured for you to begin arguing with him, he knew it was going to happen.

“Why? Why would you stick me in a room with that-that imbecile!” you snapped.

“Listen, Y/N, i know how much you dislike him and vice versa, but everyone had to be paired with someone and I thought this was the best option for you both” he explained with a soothing voice.

“Why do I have to be with her?” you heard Charles ask from behind you. You felt small standing in front of him, his broad frame practically trapping you between him and Mattia.

“Y/N is your PR manager, it's her job to prepare you for this event” Mattia once again calmly explained

“And she couldn’t do that over breakfast?” Charles inquired, you could feel his tense gaze on the back of your head and you whipped around scoffing at him as you placed your hands on his hips.

“Don’t act like this was my idea! Not everyone wants to share a room with you Charles, get your head out of your ass”

Charles opened his mouth to throw a rude remark your way but Mattia stopped him before he got the chance. “The both of you are sharing this room, whether you like it or not. I think everyone would prefer if you took this time to sort out your problems instead of bickering like children. I’ll see you both at breakfast. Goodnight,” he scolded as he walked off with his luggage in tow.

You felt your cheeks redden as embarrassment creeped up your shoulders. “Are you trying to get me fired?” you accused Charles as you grabbed your own luggage and made way for the elevator.

He shrugged in response, “Wouldn’t be the worst thing” he muttered, stepping inside with you. You pressed your floor number and sighed in frustration. “Can you stop breathing so loud?” he groaned, rolling his eyes.

“It was a sigh, dipshit.”

“Trust me, i don't want to be near you as much as you don't want to be near me”

“Glad we're on the same page” you replied, stepping out of the elevator and storming to your room, which in hindsight was a foolish idea as Charles had the key and you had to wait for him as he took his sweet time walking up the hallway.

He unlocked the door with a smug look on his face and stepped in before you, dropping his luggage on the floor as he surveyed the room. “You have got to be kidding me” he complained once he saw the double bed in the middle of the room.

“Oh what is it now, Charles?” you asked as you shut the door behind you “is the carpet not to your liking? Is it too bright? Are there no chocolates on the pillow” you continued and slipped off your shoes, “do you want me to - oh shit” you cursed as you saw the predicament you both were in. “Looks like you're sleeping on the floor” you shrugged whilst walking towards the bed.

“I am NOT sleeping on the floor,” Charles complained.

“What? And you think I am?” you argued, once again placing your hands on your hips.

“I don’t see why not,” he commented, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I am not sharing a bed with you, Leclerc! So you,” you jabbed a finger at his chest, “are going to have to step off your mighty throne and take the gentleman approach and sleep,” jab “on,” jab “the floor,” you snapped.

Charles raised his eyebrow as he stared at you. You could cut the tension between the two of you with a knife, it was almost unbearable. You had never fought this long, somebody had always interrupted you both before you got the chance to really push each other's buttons. “I'm going to say this nice and slow, sweetheart,” Charles growled, taking a step forward, you in turn took a step back as you removed your finger from his chest, “I’ll take the high road, we can share the bed just this once, as long as you stop acting like the spoiled princess that you will never be” he continued to walk towards you as he spoke and you were eventually trapped against the wall.

Charles moved his hand to lie on the wall next to your head, the distance between the two of you becoming smaller and smaller by the second. “I might be ready to step off my throne but are you ready to be a good girl and step off yours too?” he concluded. 

“Bite me, Charles” you retorted and something in the both of you snapped as you grabbed his face in your hands and he roughly grabbed your waist. Your lips violently pressed against his as your tongues practically fought against each other. You almost moaned at the force of his kiss, but refused to give him the satisfaction.

Charles pulled away, giving your mouth a final short kiss before he moved to mark your neck. “Come on, princess. Stop being stubborn for once in your life and let me hear the noises that you can make''

You however kept your mouth shut, Charles smirked and shrugged his shoulders. “If that's how you want to play it,” he smirked before gently grabbing your breast and slipping his hands into the waistband of your leggings. He rubbed circles on your clit as he pinched your nipples. “I want to hear you, sweetheart,” he grunted.

You rolled your eyes back in pleasure and involuntarily let out a moan. Charles felt his dick twitch in his pants and cockily grinned as he kissed right under your nose. “Good girl,” he whispered. It wasn't long before his trousers were discarded as well as your own leggings. You hadn’t moved however and were still pressed up against the wall. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked and although you felt your heart skip a beat you rolled your eyes at him and nodded.

“Yes, please just - just hurry up” you squirmed against the wall. That seemed to be all the validation he needed. He slowly put a condom on before easing into you. You scrunched your eyes at the uncomfortable feeling and tapped him to move. Your lips parting on their own accord as the feeling was replaced with pure pleasure. Charles forcefully grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist, providing him with a better angle for both himself and you.

“O-oh shit” you moaned as you scraped your nails down his shoulders to his arms, which left harsh red marks in their wake. Charles moaned at the feeling and you were almost aroused by the sound. Almost.

One of Charles hands were digging into the soft flesh of your thigh while the other moved to wrap itself around your neck, his signature pinky ring digging into the flesh of your skin causing you to mimic his actions and let out a moan at the pain.

“You like that?” he grunted as he continued to thrust into you, lightly placing some pressure on your throat, not enough to suffocate you, he didn't hate you that much, but enough for you to enter a state of pure bliss.

“I hate you, Leclerc” you found yourself muttering but you certainly did not hate him at that very moment.

“Feelings mutual, love”

You continued to scrape your nails across his back, desperate to pull more moans out of him. Charles however, didn't like being the only vulnerable one and removed his hands from your throat, he grabbed both of your hands in his own and shoved them upwards, beginning his assault on your chest.

Your toes curled as he hit all the right spaces, you knew you were close but you really didn’t want to be the first one to let go. Charles could feel the clenching of your walls and smirked into your chest. “Are you close, princess?” he asked, bringing his mouth to your lips and for some reason you found yourself kissing him back.

“No” you blatantly lied.

You moved your head closer to him when he pulled away but he refused to connect your lips once more and you found yourself pouting at the lack of attention. God, how pathetic had you become.

“Now, i knew you were a spoiled brat but i didn't take you for a liar as well”

“Glad to know your ego has no off moments, Charles” you scoffed and were about to start an argument before he began slowly pounding into you, his precise thrusts made it extremely difficult to formulate a sentence let alone hold onto the knot in your stomach. So, against your brain telling you not to, you let go.

You would have fallen onto the ground if it wasn’t for Charles' strong grip trapping you against the wall and his own body. The noises that he made as he reached his own high caused your heart to flutter in your chest and you began to wonder if having sex with him was a bad idea.

“Are you okay?” he asked after he had pulled away from you. You nodded your head as you furrowed your eyebrows

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” you asked.

You were surprised the both of you were capable of having a normal conversation, but you supposed nothing could be normal between you after that.

Charles gently ran a finger across your neck and by the look on his face you knew you looked worse for wear. “I kind of lost myself in the moment, I’m sorry if I hurt you. Really I am” he clarified.

“Its okay” you sighed as you rubbed your neck, “lets just go to sleep”

“I’m still not sleeping on the floor”

“Just stay on your side of the bed, Leclerc”

[plant-flwrs]

sun // ginny weasley

masterlist!

a/n: is this a reenactment of a happier ending than the reality i endured with my first experience falling in love with a girl? maybe. was this incredibly painful to write? yes. am i now suffering way too much? most definitely. umm. let me know what yall think! <33

summary: Six years of being in love with Ginny Weasley. Watching her date boys and capture the attention of Harry Potter. Eventually, confessions are the only things left. 

(3.5k)

-------

The white sheets curled around her were shaded a heavenly yellow under the sunlight invading the room. Actually, it didn’t feel like an invasion, it felt like the sun followed Ginny, like it followed her on her command with the sort of loyalty Hedwig had to Harry. So, Ginny, unconscious, was somehow inviting the sun into the room, turning her white sheets a soft yellow. She lay on her back, perched on some pillows, and twisted slightly diagonally on her bed. She made her bed seem so huge, like it was begging you to crawl into it with her, like the bed was a devil on your shoulder. Her arms folded over her stomach, an abandoned Quidditch magazine sprawled across her chest. Her head had lulled back against the pillows, orange hair falling and spilling and cascading and somehow just sitting atop her head like a crown. 

You felt completely out of place in what you could only describe as heaven. You, standing in your Hogwarts robes, with your harsh face and your cold gaze, felt completely separated from the heavenly plane Ginny Weasley managed to curate in this dorm.

It had been like this since the third year when, somehow, Ginny Weasley returned to school cool. She became her own person-- Quidditch legend, funny, friends with everyone-- and you simply trailed along beside her. It didn’t help your cause, either, when boys began to notice the same things you were noticing about Ginny.

Ruben Hash had come first. He’d never made a move on Ginny, but you noticed him. Sometimes, it felt like you were a hawk over Ginny’s shoulder, one she tossed her scraps of food to and patted on the head. So of course, you noticed Ruben. 

And then, you noticed Neville. You couldn’t even be mad about Neville. He was sweet, and he’d even been good-humored about you cutting in to dance with Ginny for one of the few and far between slow-dances at the Yule Ball. You held Ginny, and Ginny held onto you, and you wondered if she saw it behind your eyes.

Then came Michael Corner. Michael was a sting. Michael was a kick to the stomach, a punch to the face, and a knife to the thigh. Ginny watched him beat you, step on you, until you were filled with harsh bile and spiteful words for him. Of course, Michael was nice to you. He didn’t understand your cold glances and your distaste for him, simply chalking it off to him being Ginny’s boyfriend and you not thinking he was good enough for her. 

That summer was weird. You tried to remain a semblance of normalcy, tried to write lighthearted letters back to Ginny, tried to accept her invitation to the Burrow before school started again. Any other summer you practically lived at Ginny’s house, but now it hurt. Everything hurt, all the time, because Ginny wasn’t like you. Ginny didn’t like you, and what hurt even worse was that she liked other people. She liked so many other people, her most favorite to talk about being the Harry fucking Potter (I mean seriously, how did she expect you to have any sort of self-worth when you were pining for her while she was whinging about The Boy Who Lived?).

So, that was the summer you didn’t go to the Burrow. 

Michael stuck around for a long time. However, fourth-year was different.

Fourth-year was a time you liked to think about often, at least until your sixth-year, because once you were in your sixth-year, there truly was nothing better. 

Fourth-year. Ginny seemed to be distancing herself from Michael. You stopped asking about him and she stopped talking about him. She asked you to sit in the stands of her Quidditch practices, and when you got there for the first time, you noticed Michael wasn’t there. It was like she had given you a rose and not Michael. Small things like this really made fourth-year worth fifth-year. You tried not to think about fifth-year.

Fourth-year. Ginny walked with you, all sweaty, back to the castle. Ginny sat with her thigh pressed against yours as you ate dinner and lunch and breakfast. Ginny woke you up in the mornings and told you goodnight every night-- every single night. While you walked to class, Ginny lopped her fingers with yours and said it was because she couldn’t believe how soft your hands were. You scoffed, and fueled the fire by insisting you didn’t even use lotion on them. Ginny indulged, or maybe she truly was baffled by it, and ran her thumb over any space of your hand she could as you walked. Fourth-year, there was a week where the elves were occupied with something Dumbledore had requested them for. There was a week where laundry wasn’t being done, and utter chaos was amongst the castle. You had been one of the lucky ones, finding a pile of clean clothes and sheets on your bed just before the elves’ vacation. Ginny insisted her sheets smelled too horribly from her post-Quidditch practice naps, that she couldn’t sleep on her own bed. Ginny slept in your bed, for an entire week. Ginny was a cuddler. Ginny had her hands wrapped around your middle with her head tucked into your shoulder every night for an entire week. You thought about revoking your membership in S.P.E.W. if it meant Dumbledore could whisk off the house-elves more often. 

Fifth-year, there was no hand-holding or thighs brushing beneath tables or goodnights or good mornings or cuddling. Fifth-year was the year of Dean Thomas. 

Dean Thomas had successfully managed to whisk Ginny off her feet. You hadn’t even realized that at some point during your heavenly fourth-year, Ginny had broken it off with Michael. You were afforded about two weeks of a nice fifth-year before Dean.

As with Neville, you couldn’t even be mad at Dean. Well, you were mad at Dean, all the time, for no reason recognized by him. You were cold, and harsh, and selfish. You put up a wall between you and Ginny, leaving her no place to go but Dean’s arms. And to Dean’s arms she went. She spent nights in his dorm. She ate with him at meals. She asked him to her Quidditch practices.

You are completely and utterly alone.

As her roommate, she believed she was still your friend. She assumed you had your own issues to work out-- and right she was-- and incidentally, she spent more time with Dean. She didn’t put together the two things.  

By the end of fifth-year, Dean Thomas was over. 

By the summer going into sixth-year, you were invited to the Burrow. You accepted it with grace.

Things fell back into place with Ginny in a way that made you want to cry. It was like she had either not noticed you were gone, or she found things so easy with you that it didn’t matter how much time had passed. In the warm comforts of her small bed, she insisted you not sleep on the floor. She invited you into her bed, and you nearly launched yourself on top of her with the anticipation of how you knew it felt to be held by her. Even if it wasn’t like that to her, you still knew. You knew she felt some sort of love for you, and you felt that was enough for now. You made it enough. 

Ginny slept with her window open and her curtains swept to the sides. At the Burrow, as you lay on your back with Ginny curled into your side, her nose brushing into your hair, you looked right out of the window. The stars were so much brighter out here than they were at home, almost as bright as they were at Hogwarts. Maybe it was Ginny that made the stars so bright. 

That summer made things alright again. Ginny seemed to be sitting atop a fence, looking down at you and Harry Potter on opposite sides, deciding on who she was going to let catch her. You stood with outstretched arms for an entire year.

Sixth-year. Ginny, laying in her bed basking in the sunlight that worshipped her, all you could do was stare. You stared until your other dormmates pushed past you into the room, talking loudly and taking no care to not wake Ginny. 

You watched her stir as she rolled onto her stomach, falling deeper into the bed. She saw you and her mouth perked up into a sort of lazy smile, raising her eyebrows. You flushed, feeling warm and tight and strained when she looked at you like that. It was on her face, come here, and so you went, crawling into her bed and curling next to her. It didn’t feel weird; the girls now rummaging through their wardrobe didn’t find it odd, and so you closed your eyes, feeling Ginny’s sun now coating you in the heavenly light. 

Waking up next to Ginny was always a struggle. You were warm and uncomfortable and often sweating, but nothing made you want to move. Ginny, with her body pressed against yours in these rare moments of intimacy, was something you didn’t want to disturb. In the first weeks of fifth-year, before Ginny went to Dean, you would pretend to be annoyed with Ginny’s touches. You would throw her an annoyed glance or a sarcastic comment with a little too much seriousness in it when she rested her head on your shoulder during lunch. You’d stiffen when she tried to reach for your hand in the hall, pretending you had not noticed and reach for something in your bag instead. You hated to think of those moments; moments wasted. 

When you woke, it was Saturday. Saturdays were days where Ginny had afternoons full of Quidditch practice and you sat in the stands doing your homework for the upcoming week. 

This Saturday was no different.

Sparing a glance at her, you regarded her pink nose brushing against her red and gold scarf pulled over her lips. Her long, red eyelashes ghosting over her tanned and freckled cheeks. The crinkle of her eyes, and oh, you just realized she was laughing at one of your jokes. This in itself made your heart twist inside itself. 

The wind worked in spite of you both, pushing against you as you walked to the pitch. Ginny was dressed in her uniform, and you had gone for your heavily padded and warm winter coat. Ginny huddled close to you as you walked, stuffing her hands in your pockets. Her fingers splayed over your hands, pressing into you like they were seeking your warmth. 

In the stands, you did your homework. When you finished your homework, you watched Ginny. You preferred to watch Ginny. She glided through the air with an ease that came with her personality. No part of her was practiced or rehearsed, but she was also so careful and cool at the same time. She was the best parts of all her brothers. She was Ron’s sense of humor, Charlie’s bravery, Bill’s coolness, Percy’s sensibility, and Fred and George’s wicked gift for mischief. This all made Ginny herself. Ginny was no one but Ginny. In a sense, she made it seem like her brothers learned all those qualities from her, just because she did them so well. You were in love with Ginny Weasley.

Back in the castle, hours after practice, you and Ginny sat side by side against the headboard of her bed. You had the blankets pulled to your chins, and laughter filled the air in front of you. Ginny had told the sun to go away, so it did, and instead, a muggy and cold day replaced it. Clouds stormed outside, and you knew you would be lulled to sleep by the sound of rain later. 

“Think the rain will last until tomorrow?” Ginny asked, leaning over you to look out the window.

“Maybe. Why?”

“Ron said he and Harry were going to Hogsmeade, wanted me to come with.”

Something clicked away inside of you, like one last light that had been tortured to stay on for years and years.

“Oh.”

Ginny was quiet, not realizing the separate storm raging inside of you. You could not believe you expected anything else from Ginny. Anything else but her tireless and never-ending efforts to get every boy at Hogwarts to notice her. Ginny and her perfect eyes and hair and skin and body and personality and laugh. 

“I don’t want you to go tomorrow,” you hadn’t realized you said it, the words twisting on your tongue like they knew you were trying out this honesty thing for the first time. 

“What?”

“Don’t go.”

Ginny laughed. You felt every bone in your face sharpen and freeze. It was like the tears you knew would well up in your eyes were first coursing through your face like a complicated sewer system.

“Ginny,” you managed to breathe it out, turning to her with glassy eyes and tight lips.

She stopped laughing, turning her entire body to you and pushing off the blankets.

“Oh my god, what’s wrong? Y/n?” her voice was full of breathless worry and concern at your rare showing of vulnerability. It made you want to cringe away and fall into her.

Her face was so close to yours, it was like a dream. It was like you were back under the stars at the Burrow, under Ginny’s stars and in her bed. You lifted your eyes to hers, hoping she saw the same look behind them from the Yule Ball. Her face softened and for a second you swore you saw it in her eyes too. You realized she was getting closer, her look of concern morphing into a look of unknown. 

Her lips were so close to yours, you wanted to reach out; you kept your hands tucked beneath the blanket and stopped her lips from meeting yours as you rested your forehead against hers.

“I-” you started, finding the rush of the plumbing beneath your face all clog at once, like the blood had stopped flowing through your veins. You were so close to her.

“Please,” her words fell onto your lips like they were physical things in the air, and all of a sudden your hands plunged from under the blanket and your face was on hers and your lips were touching hers. 

You held her hair in your hands and she ran her hands down your back. Her lips were so soft, and you were self-conscious because you wondered if all the lip biting and worrying you had done on your lips would make yours rough and harsh. You wondered if Ginny loved your hands like you loved her lips. 

You wondered about a lot of things, after that. You wondered about the looks Harry seemed to give Ginny. About the looks Ginny refused to give back to him. You wondered if she would mind how scared you were all the time. You wondered if she noticed how much you didn’t want to be scared. You wondered if she was ever scared. 

You slept in Ginny’s bed every night.

“Does Harry love you?” 

The question had felt almost as scary as when you’d asked her not to go to Hogsmeade. Her reaction to the first scary question, however, made you believe it was going to be okay. It would always be okay with Ginny.

“I think he might,” she said.

Your head was pressed into her neck, her long hair getting caught in your nose every time you breathed. It was hot and a little uncomfortable, but it was Ginny, and you just wanted to feel her. Her arms were wrapped around you, her head inclined slightly so her mouth was by your ear. Your legs were tangled and her feet were warm against your cold ones. Ginny had told the sun to go away a long time ago.

“Do you love him?” 

Waiting for Ginny to answer was like waiting for her to tell you whether or not she had lost her virginity to Dean Thomas. She had said she had, and you felt like your world was going to end.

“Not anymore,” she whispered, even though you had already cast a silencing charm around her bed.

You breathed a breath you hadn’t realized was reserved for this moment.

You turned to face her, your mouths inches apart. You couldn’t help but stare at hers, feeling now blissful and for the first time without any worry or insecurity. Then her face inched away and her brows knitted together. You brought a warm hand to them, running the pad of your thumb across them until they smoothed out. 

“I’m sorry.” Ginny was whispering it over and over again, like a prayer, and you felt panic surged inside of you. 

You pushed yourself off of her, thinking she was lying about Harry and apologizing for that. 

As soon as you were off of her, she was wrapping her arms around you again, pulling her back into her. She was cradling you, rocking you back and forth as she kept chanting it. You felt pathetic, like this was a goodbye she had been wanting to say since the day she met you. Like she was apologizing to some god for the things you had done together. Like she was apologizing to Harry for the lie she told you. 

You pulled away far enough to look at her face, seeing shiny streaks creating a river down each side of her face. She was crying. Your hands on her face again, pushing the tears away as they endlessly leaked from her eyes. 

“What?” you whispered, almost cooed, curling into her lap and holding her face in your hands.

“I didn’t see you sooner,” she whispered, choking out strangled sobs as she threw her face into your chest. 

“Yes you did,” you whispered back, finding the volume too loud for the weight of the conversation. You felt like saying anything aloud would be inappropriate. You wanted to write it all out and exchange it all in wax-sealed letters.

“You were always there, and I was never there, and I made you sit and watch,” Ginny was almost screaming, guilt throwing itself from her throat. “I was so selfish!”

You didn’t dignify this with a response, instead, waiting for her to calm down again. Her shaking ceased and her breathing settled into hiccups.

“I’d do it all over again. I’d sit through each boyfriend. I would go to every Quidditch practice and watch you at every breakfast and I would walk to every class with you. I would wait forever. I don’t want to, though, so stop feeling so awful about it. We are now,” you felt your own tears sliding down your face, a voice coming out that cracked and shivered unlike your own.

Your words racked a new wave of sobs through her, and you could practically feel the relief and the guilt washing off her in waves. You were no stranger to guilt.

You had felt guilt every time you looked at Ginny that way when she was with her boyfriends. You had felt guilt every time you wanted to brag to Michael when she didn’t invite him to her practices. You wanted to throw every piece of intimacy you and Ginny shared in Harry Potter’s face, just so he would stop thinking he had a chance. 

You also knew that relief. You knew that relief when Ginny didn’t stutter with her hands. When she breathed against your skin and smiled when you pulled apart. When it wasn’t anything different between you; when you could just as easily sit next to each other at the Great Hall. 

Ginny’s eyes were tired and puffy when they finally turned to you. She wiped your cheeks with the backs of her hands, because you had told her how gripping the broom made her fingertips rough. You kissed her hand, capturing her skinny wrist in your grasp and flipping it over to press your lips against her palm. She breathed, for what felt like the first time, in even and contained patterns. 

She had both hands on your shoulders, pushing you further into the mattress, until she climbed on top of you. Her strong legs were on either side of you, sitting just above your hip bones. She didn’t bend to kiss you, just sitting straight as she looked down at you: laid down at her mercy.

Her hands started at yours, interlocking them and then leaving them to trail up your arms. She ignored the shivers following her touch, continuing her warpath until she started again at your hips. Her hands slid up your sides, featherlight touches that made your back arch off the bed. She sighed with a smile, cocking her head in a disbelieving way.

“You’re all mine?” she whispered, voice hoarse and weak with melancholy and shock spilling into her words.

You couldn’t find the words to tell her just how much you were entirely hers, so you nodded helplessly. 

She began to giggle, finally bending down to bring her lips to you. They traced up and down your neck, like she was finding the right place to pot a plant, and then finally planted one searing kiss just below your jaw. 

“I’m yours,” you moaned, begging for her to do anything.

“Yours,” she answered, doing anything. 

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

Safe House- Tom Felton x Reader: Chapter 2

A/N: Hello friends! I’m so sorry I haven’t updated anything in so long; life has been CRAZY! But guess what? Yours truly just finished up all her training at the Police Academy so I am now fully a 9-1-1 dispatcher (or 0-0-0 for my Australian friends or 9-9-9 for my UK friends!) In our spare time between calls, as long as we’re still available to take calls, we can do pretty much whatever we want so I hope that means I can still write and update! Unfortunately, I do have to work on Christmas Day this year but I’m still excited for the day! 

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday and I hope 2021 will be 1000000 times better than 2020! And don’t worry, this isn’t the last holiday update I have up my sleeve! ;)

Xxx M

Warnings: FLUFF, pining, longing, Tom being super adorable! 

Word Count: 4,500

Previous Chapter| Holiday Masterlist| Masterlist of all Masterlists

Even though you believed you were going to be in some serious trouble when you got back to work, you were glad you stepped into that car. You were Tom's assistant and he requested your help in a task, so you weren’t really breaking any rules, right? And Tom said you were still working and that he would clear all this up with Mr. Harrington, so why were you still nervous? Was it because you left the property of your place of work still in the clock? Or was it because you were sitting with a rather attractive man inside his car and trusting that he wouldn’t try anything weird, like kidnapping you? Whatever the reason may be, you couldn’t ignore the feeling that you seemed to be taking a ‘leap of Faith’ with going with Tom, yet it all felt right. The subtle sound of Christmas music came from the car's radio and the heat from the vents provided a warming feeling deep within you. It surprised you to know that he had chosen to play Christmas music because you assumed with his schedule, holidays weren’t as important anymore. However, that proved to be untrue as a certain sparkle appeared in his eyes when he pulled into a parking spot, he jumped out of the car and rushed over to your side to help you out.

“Come on love, we have a lot to do if we want to make that tree look less sad!” He exclaims and tugs on your arm, much like a child would do with a parent. You laughed at the tall man, who beamed with a bright smile on his lips, as you struggled to keep up.

“What should we get first?!” He says, enthusiastically to you.

“Maybe more ornaments?” You suggest and his excitement only grows.

“Yes! And then we should get garland to wrap around the ornaments! And the presents!” He bounces on his toes, ever so slightly, but you notice it and think to yourself, how can a 33-year-old be this excited?

You follow him over to a section of the hobby store that was entirely dedicated to Christmas. Shelves were lined with garland, ornaments, lights, light-up statues, everything you could think of to make the holiday one to remember. Both you and Tom began pulling things off the shelves, anything to make his hotel room look more festive for his guests. A part of you wished you were able to be there to enjoy some of these decorations but you knew you were just ‘the help’ so you kept that thought to yourself. When your shopping cart was fully loaded to the rim, you decided to check out. Reaching into your purse for your wallet, you pulled out some cash but Tom put his hand out, indicating you to stop.

“Oh, don’t be silly love, I got this. This is my hotel room we’re decorating and this was my idea, so I’ll pay for it,” He says.

“Yeah, but it is my place of work so it’s only fair I pitch in,” you fight back but it proves to be useless when the total rings up and he already had a credit card inserted into the bottom of the reader.

“Maybe next time,” he shoots you a wink, causing your cheeks to redden before he slips the card out of the reader and back into his wallet. You help grab the bags and load them back into the cart as you head back out to the car. The drive back to the resort was quiet, aside from small talk, which was rather pleasant. Speaking with Tom in a quiet setting was beautiful and calming, something a lot of people don’t get to enjoy if you weren’t in his inner circle. A part of you was felt like any other fan, excited about being in an intimate setting with him, but the other part of you knew you were just doing your job. Gathering the bags in your hands, you follow Tom back into the hotel and into the elevator, where you two were forced to stand nearly squished against each other, thanks to a large number of guests flocking to the car before the doors shut. You felt your cheeks heat up at the close proximity you were to Tom but kept your lips sealed and your thoughts to yourself before the doors opened to the penthouse; everyone else left you sooner.

“Thanks a lot (y/n) for helping me with this. I don’t think I could’ve done it all alone plus it’s more fun to decorate with some company,” Tom says, as he sits the last ornament on the tree. He takes a few steps away from the tree, to take in the glorious sight before him, with you coming to stand beside him.

“It’s my pleasure and this tree looks so much better now,” you comment.

“I think it is because of you, my dear. You are the one who picked out the ornaments so you made this tree this beautiful. Beautiful people tend to make everything around them beautiful too; makes sense if you ask me,” he says, smiling softly at you, eyes glistening in the lights from the tree. His bluish-grey eyes turned another color as they reflected the lights, making him that much more attractive and leaving you in a trance of sorts. It felt like a scene from a movie; no sound, no movement, just you and him staring into one another’s eyes, until being saved by a ringing phone. He swallowed and slowly backed away from you before saying,

“I should probably get that.”

You couldn’t help but frown at his departure but you had to shake the sadness away; you still had a job to do. Looking to the bedroom, you saw him pace back and forth, obviously anxious about something, so you figured that you should go. Finding a scrap piece of paper, you scribbled on it before placing it on the coffee table in the center of the room and grabbing your belongings, leaving the room without him noticing. What am I doing? I work for the guy! How could I be so stupid as to think someone like him would be remotely interested in someone like me? I’m just a hotel worker; not even a fucking manager! You scold yourself as you sliver to the elevator and ride back down to the lobby, where about a dozen or so guests were waiting to check-in. Wishing you had your old job back, you stop to watch the guests wait to check-in, excitement and wonder coming from their faces. The children were why you chose this job. The look of their little faces was the purest form of innocence that you hoped they never lost sight of, but you knew that most of them would lose that wonder as they grew older. The magic of Christmas always fled from the youngest and truest believers as time went on and it hurt your heart. Why couldn’t Christmas be as magical for adults as it was for kids? Sure, the belief of someone flying over the world and delivering presents to every child in one night was gone, but what about the feeling? The excitement you would feel seeing the tree go up or the lights outside? How about all the traditions? When did that all go away and why did it have to?

----------------------֍------------------------------------

Tom’s POV

“Sorry about that, (y/n) that was just…” I let my thoughts trail off as I notice the emptiness of the hotel room and the piece of paper folded in half on the coffee table. I go to pick it up, feeling my heart race in my chest as I read;

Tom,

Thank you for today. I had a really nice time and I’m glad you’re happy with your room now. I forgot I…. had a prior engagement I said I would be at so I had to leave; hope that’s alright. I’ll be back first thing tomorrow morning with some breakfast and you can give me a rundown on all your plans for the day. I am so sorry incredibly sorry.

Have a goodnight,

Y/N

I swallowed a lump that had appeared in my throat and crumbled up the paper. So that was it? She only saw today as a requirement for her work? Is that how she saw me? Just as her boss or something? Because she was certainly more to me than just a hotel worker or an assistant; I thought she could tell. Why couldn’t she have just come and talk to me if she had a problem? Did I say something that offended her? Did she not trust me? These questions and more haunted my subconscious as I sigh and get myself ready for bed. I turn off all the lights in the living room before going to brush my teeth. I take out my phone and open my photo gallery, quickly finding the photo of (y/n) I snuck. She looked absolutely beautiful as she was holding a light display, the colors and glitter from the decoration reflecting onto her face. It just slightly illuminated her delicate features and I remember I had sucked in a breath of air, as she had taken all of mine out of my lungs. I smile to myself as I thought back to that moment and now? She’s gone and I can’t imagine why. I decided just to go to bed and I figured I would come up with a solution to getting (y/n) back sooner.

The next morning, I woke up rather early to get ready for my friends. Daniel had called me last night before (y/n) and I…well whatever almost happened with us, is irrelevant now. Finally, after being stuck in Denver for 24 hours, he had called to tell me that he and everyone else were on their way to the resort. Somehow, the former “Golden Trio,” as they were infamously known as, all had no plans and were able to fly out to Colorado for Christmas. Now, we all knew how risky this trip might go, with all of us together around who knows how many fans are staying at the resort, but we hadn’t been together in nearly 20 years. I was glad to be having some of my friends with me again. Because when you work on a project with the same people, every year for 10 years, you gain friends for life.

“Tom, good to see ya, mate!” Daniel said, when I opened the door after hearing a knock on the door.

“Hey guys, glad you all could make it! So sorry to hear about such a delay, though!” I try to sympathize with my friends but I’m sure it fell on deaf ears because they shared a similar look of annoyance as if to say, “like you have any idea what we’ve just been through.”

“Well, it was certainly a nice, warm, welcome to the State of Colorado,” Emma said, sarcasm dripping off her tone of voice.

I smile sadly, trying to avoid further awkwardness, hugging the girl as I feel her sigh, tension dissipating from her muscles.

“Wow Tom, this place is so well decorated! Did you do this by yourself?” Rupert asked as he took in the festive environment of my room.

“Oh no, of course not. I’m not good at decorating at all! I had some help,” I say, smiling at the not-so-distant memory of decorating with (y/n).

“Wait, you hired someone?” Emma asked.

“Not exactly. The resort sent me a…personal assistant of sorts,” I try to explain to the three actors who just had blank expressions on their faces.

“Why would the resort send you an assistant?” Daniel asked.

“I’m not sure, she said it was because the resort wanted to offer their services 24/7,” I explain what reason (y/n) had given me.

“Who’s she?” Rupert asks a light of cheeky demeanor glistened in his eyes.

“Oh (y/n), my assistant,” I say, a grin showing itself on my lips.

“Wow, (y/n) what a beautiful name! She must be really special,” Emma said.

“She is and I’ve only known her for 48 hours. She’s supposed to be coming back today to help out but, now I’m not sure if she’s going to,” I frown, really not sure what was going to happen with (y/n).

I wasn’t quite sure what I felt for (y/n) but I knew I wanted to get to know her better and I wanted to make sure she knew she could trust me. Just then, there was a knock on the door. My heart drops, hoping it was her.

“Good morning, Mr. Felton. I’m here for whatever you need me to help you with,” (y/n) greeted me when I opened the door. What was she saying? I told her she could call me Tom; where is this Mr. Felton crap coming from. Oh, her note. Maybe this is what she was talking about. Maybe she thought she needed to stay professional whenever she was around me; was that why she left suddenly?

“Good morning, Miss (y/l/n). Yes, please come in,” I say, standing to the side so she could come in the room.

“Thank you, well I brought some coffee and a selection of our best food for breakfast from our…” She suddenly stopped talking and she seemed to be frozen in place.

“(y/n) are you alright?” I say, standing closer to her. She was looking directly at the “Golden Trio” that was currently sitting in the living room, chatting away. They all stopped and looked up at her, and smiled at her.

“Hello, you must be (y/n) Tom’s told us all about you,” Emma says, standing from the couch where she sat with Daniel, to shake (y/n)’s hand.

She still seemed to be in some sort of trance until she saw Emma’s hand extended to her.

“Oh yes, sorry, I got a lot on my mind. It’s really nice to meet you, Miss Watson,” (y/n) kept up with the politeness.

“Oh please, call me Emma. Makes me feel so old hearing my last name first,” She says as we all chuckled.

“Well Emma, this is an honor. I am a rather a big fan of your work,” (y/n) complimented.

“Oh, thank you, that’s so sweet,” Emma says, seemingly still not believing she’s as talented as people make her up to be. Sure, she knew she was a talented actress, but she was always humble about it, ever since we were kids. One of the many things people tend to love about her.

“Hey now, you never said you were a fan of mine!” I try joking with my assistant, her cheeks turning red as she avoided my eyes set on her.

“You didn’t ask,” she said, before greeting Daniel and Rupert and telling them how much of a fan of theirs she is.

“Hold on, is this like a Harry Potter reunion?” (y/n) asked, finally letting her guard down a bit.

We all starting laughing as the resort worker just stared at us.

“You can say that,” Rupert said.

“Wow, this is, how long has it been since the four of you have been together for more than just a day” (y/n) asked.

“A good twenty years. We’ve seen each other since then obviously, but in more than just passing than really spending time together. After the eighth movie wrapped up, we all went our separate ways. And considering I was getting into some trouble with fans back home, I decided to get away from all the craziness and I wanted to invite some friends to spend some time with me, so I wouldn’t be alone, you know?” I say, giving the whole background story so (y/n) could fully understand why I was here and why the “Golden Trio” was here, too.

I could tell, just by looking at her, that she was trying hard not to freak out; she really is a big fan, then. It was rather adorable if you ask me. She was biting the corner of her bottom lip, quite harshly too, and her eyes would bounce between the three actors around the fireplace.

“Well, the Harrington Ski Resort is thrilled to have all four of you here, but why did you make the reservation for ten?” (y/n) questions me.

“Well, we have teams of security so they all their own rooms, and then I have a few more friends coming tomorrow so I wanted to make sure everyone had their own space,” I explain.

“Alright, so what plans do you have for today, Mr. Felton?” (y/n) asks and I’ve about had enough of her formalities.

“Um about that, may I speak to you in private please?” I ask and she nods timidly.

“If you all would give us a minute, help yourselves to some food,” (y/n) says, just as a waiter came in the room with carts of food for everyone to share.

“What’s going on, Mr. Felton?” (y/n) said, when I shut the doors to the bedroom.

“First of all, please, just call me Tom. Second, I read your note last night; what was that about?” I go straight to the point.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tom.”

“Oh, I think you do (y/n). Yesterday was amazing; I haven’t had that much in so long and we seemed to have been getting on really well. And then we have…well I’m not sure what exactly happened in front of the fireplace but I wouldn’t mind that happening again. But then you just up and leave? And leave a note with a lack of proper explanation. Did I push you into something you weren’t comfortable with? Did I offend you somehow? If I did something wrong, please tell me, so we can try and work it out,” I say, almost pleading with her.

“No, it’s not that,” she says, pacing on the opposite side of the room than me.

“Then what is it? Do you not trust me? Are you uncomfortable being around me?”

“No, it’s not any of that!” She says, a little more frustrated than before.

“Then what?!” I say, just as she had.

“I can’t tell you,” she says, avoiding looking or getting close to me.

“And why not? I don’t understand why you left so suddenly last night or why you can’t even look at me right now,” I say, hearing my voice crack as I grew more desperate for an answer.

“Because how I feel about you right now, is going to get me in trouble. I felt something last night by the fireplace and I can’t allow myself to continue to feel like that. I am your assistant and while I’m here, that’s all I can be. I don’t know what I felt but I know it’s dangerous and I know I can’t keep feeling like that as long as I work for you. Mr. Harrington would surely fire me if he ever found out and I really need this job because I want to become something more than what I am right now. Do you understand?”

Wow, I definitely didn’t expect her to say that now. But she felt something between us last night too? And that’s why she left! She was scared of what she felt at the fireplace last night. I don’t blame her; I felt it too. But she needs to know she can allow herself to feel things.

“Look (y/n) I’m so glad you said something. I felt something last night too and it scared me too. I don’t know what that was either but I liked it and I want to feel that again. As for your job, I know this is so important to you, so I won’t do anything that would jeopardize whatever plans you have for this job; I promise. But, may I suggest something?” I ask and wait for her approval. She simply nodded.

“How about we don’t tell anyone about…whatever we may from this? I want to explore whatever last night was, but only if you want to of course. I think we should start off as friends, a little more intimate than just boss/coworker but I want to really get to know you before we decide to take anything further. Although, I don’t believe we’re going to learn anything about the other that won’t make us want to go further with a friendship, but just in case. How’s that sound?” I reason with her, nervous about how she was going to react. I figured with her confession of some feelings for me, she must agree with my idea.

“I think that sounds perfect, Tom,” she says, smiling up at me. I mirror her expression, finding a smile of my own.

“Would it be weird if I just hugged right now?” I ask, still unsure what to do with this, new information.

“Of course,” she says, slowly moving closer to me until she stood just inches from me. She craned her neck to look up at me. I slowly move closer to her, my arms making their way around her waist. She stood on her toes to grow a few inches higher so she could wrap her arms around my neck. I sighed, content with the feeling of her in my arms. She smelled like peppermint; it reminded me of a candy cane. Her skin was so soft and her hair was sprawled across my face but it didn’t matter. We stayed like that for a while, just staying close to one another and enjoying the warmth from the other until we felt completely content. Pulling away from one another, I smiled at her, her face showing the same happiness as mine had before she spoke up.

“I have a question and you can say no if you want.”

“You haven’t even asked it yet,” I say to her as she nervously wraps some of her hair behind her ear.

“Right, okay, well I wanted to see if maybe since Daniel and Emma and Rupert are here, could we watch some Harry Potter? I know it’s been a long time since any of you have seen the films, but I have so many questions to ask,” she says, pulling on her bottom lip.

“Well, I would love to answer all your questions but we’ll have to ask the others if they’re up for it,” I say fondly to her.

“Oh, wait, work. Do, do you need me to do anything for you?”

“What I need you to do is watch the Philosopher’s Stone with me and my friends,” I grin at her.

“As long as they say it’s okay,” she adds.

“Oh, I’m sure they won’t say no to you, much like I can’t seem to,” I admit, rubbing the back of my neck.

Her cheeks tinted pink, just a bit, but I caught it before it disappeared.

“What about work?” She asks.

“Well, I’ll talk to Mr. Harrington and tell him some chores I need someone else to do for me. I’ll make sure you won’t get in any trouble,” I say to the girl, who’s eyes just light up. I guess I was starting to make an impression on her.

“That would be amazing, Tom, thank you,” she says, coming to me for a second hug. It wasn’t as long as the first one but it meant just as much. They have just been hugs but for me and (y/n) it was our way of expressing our feelings for each other; it was perfect.

We walk back into the main living area where we see the “Golden Trio” deep in a conversation about what the last twenty years have been like.

“Hi guys,” Emma says, looking over to me and (y/n).

“Hi, so (y/n) here has something she would like to ask you guys,” I say, looking to my right to the girl who somehow grew more nervous than I’ve ever seen her.

“Sure sweetheart, what’s on your mind?” Daniel asked, bringing all the attention to (y/n).

“Well, I know you all are probably annoyed with all the questions you’ve gotten over the years about Harry Potter, but I was wondering if you all wouldn’t mind if we watched the first movie together? I have a lot of my own questions I would love to have answers too but if you guys don’t want to go down memory lane again, I completely understand,” (y/n) asks, rather quickly, but I think she still got her point across.

“You’re right, I don’t think any of us have seen those movies in such a long time, and yes, we do get kind of tired of all the questions. We still get asked questions about the film series, even after all these years. However, any friend of Tom’s is a friend of ours, and if you really want to ask questions as we go through the film, then I don’t see what harm that’ll do. It might be embarrassing for us to see ourselves twenty years younger than we are right now, but it might still be fun,” Daniel said, grinning at the other members of the Wizarding World around him.

(y/n) just squeals a bit in excitement and it surprised all of us. “Sorry, I’m just really excited to finally be able to ask all the questions that I’ve had for so many years,”

“Hey, it’s okay. And hell, it’ll be wild seeing ourselves so young. I bet we can still say a lot of the spells too,” Rupert added.

“Oh man, that was going to be one of my questions,” (y/n) said, frowning, before Rupert shot her a quick apology.

“Does someone have the films with them right now?” Emma asks.

“I do,” I say, walking over to the entertainment center that sat under the television.

“You travel with them, don’t you?” (y/n) teased.

“Of course, I do! You never know when you’re going to need to see these!” I say, proud of the work and character I did in those films. It launched a career for all of us and opened so many doors for so many other films or shows. We owe all our credit to our success as actors to those films and if it wasn’t for them, I don’t know what we would be doing now. I couldn’t speak for the others, but I was happy with being able to go back and watch the work we did for so many years, especially having so many people joining the fandom nearly 10 years after the last film was released. I will forever hold Draco in my heart and be grateful that people still respond to him, even in negative ways. I always laugh and apologize when people say they hate him and his attitude because he is the exact opposite of me and I still hope people stick around to know the real me.

Tags: @tloveswriting @angelinathebook @lunalovecroft @hobby27​ @slutforfics​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @to-my-beloved-fandoms-2​

[artificialashley]

Branjie angst 33!!!

Thank you for the prompt!!

33. “I was happier with you.” // Branjie

“I’m just surprised.” Brooke placed her drink on the table, looking Vanessa in the eyes for what felt like the first time in years (it had been around seven months and thirteen days in reality, not that Vanessa was keeping track).

“What? That someone else could dare to like me?” Vanessa did her best to act aloof, pretending that she hadn’t been imagining this conversation and how it would turn out since the whole thing started. Pretending that it wasn’t Brooke she thought of every single time her head hit the pillow, whether she was alone or not.

She had never been good at acting.

“No.” Brooke spoke bluntly, a trait Vanessa had grown to love and hate during their relationship. She loved it at that moment, glad that Brooke never wasted time dilly-dallying on her feelings. Because even if the feelings hurt Vanessa, tearing her body in two and making her wish with every inch of her body that Brooke never felt them again, at least she knew. At least Brooke was honest. “I just didn’t picture you together.”

“‘Cause I’m not clever?” Vanessa laughed it off, pretending that she hadn’t cried in the bathroom only three days earlier because Jan corrected her pronunciation of the word "Antarctic".

Brooke’s friends had never been like that, welcoming her into the group with open arms and an invite to every movie marathon, cafe visit and fancy meal they had. She told herself it was just because Nina was extra nice. And because Brooke would have just about done anything for her once upon a time. Only Vanessa’s lying-to-herself skills were about sub-par with her acting abilities, and the awful thing about “once upon a time” was that you never actually knew when it ended. If it had ended.

“You’re one of the cleverest people I know.” Brooke’s voice didn’t falter. “If I’m honest, I thought you were seeing Kameron.”

Vanessa choked on her drink, her cheeks flushing red at the thought of Brooke seeing despite it being something she’d probably witnessed a thousand times. Despite the fact that Brooke knew her entire being better than almost anyone on the planet.

“Kameron?” Her tone slipped up an octave as she spoke, gaps in the puzzle she’d been making of Brooke’s mind filling up before her eyes. “Why would I be seeing Kam?”

“For starters, she’s fucking beautiful.” Brooke started counting on her fingers and Vanessa hoped she wouldn’t make it onto her second hand. “You guys were always really close, I guess I could just see something. And you seemed to be hanging out loads after we broke up, you know, according to Instagram.”

“You think I’d do that to you?” Vanessa asked, not to cause an argument, not to be dramatic and act like she was above Brooke, but out of a place of genuine confusion, genuine emotion.

“I don’t know, ‘Ness.”

Vanessa’s entire body twinged at the nickname. Suddenly she was eighteen again, pining after the tall blonde girl in her dance class that never had any time or interest in love or relationships, her knees weak every time she even acknowledged her. She was glad to be sitting at that moment in time, fearing that she’d have just about fallen to the floor like an utter mess if she wasn’t. 

Her body felt as though she had anyways.

“I wouldn’t have.” Vanessa snapped back to the present conversation. “She was just there for me, you know when you…”

After seven months, you’d have thought Vanessa would be able to say “dumped me” without pausing. But even after all that time it just didn’t seem right. It made it sound easy like it was over in a minute without a second thought.

It was the opposite of easy.

“Broke your heart?” Brooke spoke even more truth that Vanessa herself hadn’t even come to admit yet. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had, you know, started seeing Kameron. I’d have deserved it, even.”

“I wish I hated you that much.” Vanessa laughed, knowing that, in fact, she didn’t even hate Brooke at all. As cliche as it sounded, she didn’t hate her one bit.

“Well, I’m glad.” Brooke smiled and Vanessa’s breathing pattern went to absolute garbage. “That you don’t hate me...that much. And I’m sorry too, for not being ready, for not being a good girlfriend, for not cherishing you. I’m sorry for all of it.”

“You’re forgiven.” Vanessa wanted to give her a hug so badly that she wrapped her arms around her own body instead, her mind far away from the party downstairs and her kind-of girlfriend who was probably working out the probabilities of how likely it was that Vanessa would end up kissing Brooke right then. 

Vanessa wished they were zero.

She wanted them to be zero.

But she ached for them to be higher.

Brooke must have been able to sense it, reading Vanessa’s body like the back of a newspaper like she had done countless late nights and early mornings before: “Are you sure you don’t need to get back to, erm, Jackie?”

Vanessa noticed the pause before her name, the uncomfortable look on Brooke’s face when she said it. Sometimes she wished she was deaf. And blind. 

But then she wouldn’t be able to witness the adorable awkward smile Brooke displayed whenever topics pained her so Vanessa snatched the wishes right back with the one she had left, back to where she started hopelessly in love with a girl she wished she could ignore.

“I’m sure she can survive for a bit longer. I’ve missed chatting with you.”

“Because I have such a huge and lively personality?” Brooke raised a brow, always one to nit-pick and self-depreciate. 

For the record, Vanessa had always thought her personality was just fine, shining through shards of stained glass in special places rather than out in the world for everyone and anyone to gawk at. Parts of it had always been saved for her and that was something she’d always relish.

“Hey!” Vanessa punched her arm affectionately and felt like one of them silly cartoons where the character’s hair started to touch the sky. She felt it badly. “We always had good chats.”

“You miss my incredible pillow talk?” Brooke started laughing but let it trail away quickly, Vanessa watching the emotion change on her face as though someone was pressing a switch in her mind. She wished she could shrink, crawl inside Brooke’s ear then go flick it the other way again - only she’d already used all three wishes to get back to there in the first place.

“Something like that.” Vanessa laughed. “It’s not really the same with Jackie.”

She felt bad for saying it but couldn’t lie any longer. Not when Brooke’s eyes looked sad and droopy and her bottom lip had started to quiver.

“Does she look after you?” Brooke asked sternly, reminding Vanessa of her thoughts earlier. Brooke would have done anything for her. Only now that she looked at her, really looked at her, she knew there was no once upon a time about it. Brooke always had and always would, do anything for her.

“Yeah.” Vanessa nodded, thinking of how Jackie always texted Vanessa goodnight and good morning, how she never let her walk home alone in the rain and how she grinned like a nerd even when Vanessa’s jokes were absolutely terrible. “She does.”

Brooke probably would have told her the jokes were terrible. Then kissed her and called it a citizen’s act of honour for finally getting her to shut up.

It just wasn’t the same.

“And you’re happy?” Brooke reached out to touch her hand, not hesitating in her movement. “All I want is for you to be happy.”

Vanessa was happy. She knew that.

But she also knew that it would never, really be the same.

“I was happier with you.”

[quicksilverconnoisseur]

To celebrate the return of QS on AO3 with a huge new fic by @weconqueratdawn

-

TheSeaVoices Drawing Playlist

A mixture of drawing moods, themes and favourites, not necessarily relevant lyric-wise but all very carefully selected for zero frustration - maximum flow, and perhaps an element of sexiness?

If you want a 43 track playlist for drawing or painting to - this works :)

-

1- Wallowa Lake Monster, Sufjan Stevens

Fucking love the fucking lyrics! Beautiful story and atmosphere and voice. I hadn’t listened to Sufjan much before watching Call Me By Your Name and just caning Visions of Gideon for weeks after.

2- Experiment In Terror, Henry Mancini

From the 60’s noir thriller of the same name - so stylish and cool - what a soundtrack sir! I love the slow threat and slinkiness.

3- My Body, Perfume Genius

Similar slink here, dirty kind of glide. Have seen PG a couple of times live and just ABSORBED it into my soul - he dances up there like a beautiful table-dancer and the crowd is moving with him - always good albums to paint to.

4- Danke Schoen, Wayne Newton

Turn this way up! 21 year old Wayne blasts this out like a genius - his voice is amazing and so feminine. I know it from Ferris Bueller's Day Off originally where it is put to very good use.

5- My Little Brown Book, Duke Ellington, John Coltrane

I can listen to Duke Ellington all day every day, those brushy cymbals in this are so lazy cool. That’s the third sixties song so far.

6- One More Kiss Dear, Vangelis

Bladerunner, one of my favourite films.  WHAT A FUCKING SOUNDTRACK! This song was an accidental recording sung for the demo by Don Percival (not the intended singer) and the weird spooky vocal just worked for the mock vintage sound.

7- Verbarhemiopia, Ed Dowie

Released through Lost Map Records. I know these people and they always have great acts - I had a lot of exceptional experiences on the Inner Hebridean island of Eigg with them. This track is just a beautiful, pulsing moonbeam.

8- Just Like Honey, The Jesus and Mary Chain

Such a sleazy, druggy, sexy song - dirty guitar and sensual drums - the opening drum intro, borrowed from (another 60’s track), Be My Baby by The Ronettes coming up on this list at number 38.

9- Grid, Perfume Genius

I rec the video!

10- Here, Pavement

Oh Pavement - a big part of my identity! - Live, they are a fucking dream! This song is a regular ear worm.

11- Demon Host, Timber Timbre

Great lyrics, great album

12- Animal Friends, P-ano

The only song I’m into on this album, the atmosphere is great. A sad little song.

13- Sleepwalk, Santo and Johnny

1959 so lets call it 60’s again XD. A great instrumental - that slide, steel guitar sound is lush and the asmr trigger of my dreams

14- Hang Out The Stars In Indiana, Al Bowlly

MY FAVOURITE SONG OF ALL FUCKING TIME. I can and do listen to this on repeat all through a drawing even if it takes a day. Withnail & I introduced me - one of my favourite films. And, of course Bowlly is on The Shining too.

15- Wasted Teens, Monoganon

Lost Map records again, excellent and crazy live performance from these on Eigg.

16- The Alien, Ben Salisbury, Geoff Barrow

Such dark foreboding anticipation. From the Annihilation soundtrack - brilliant film and score. I love Portishead too.

17- Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries, Al Bowlly

Hey cheer up everyone - fuck it!

18- Wanna Sip, Fever Ray

I do! This is from their live recording at the Troxy - I WAS THERE —- oooooooooooof fuck WHAT A SHOW honestly!

19- Lipstick Stains, Jay Som

“I wanted to musically capture the immediate and intense but beautiful feeling of infatuation.” —— yep!

20- Heat Wave, Snail Mail

Yes! They are brilliant - saw them live at End Of The Road and the tent was CRAMMED!!!!!! The atmosphere was amazing - she is so young and so great.

21- I Love How You Love Me, The Paris Sisters

Hello 1960’s! The creamy Spector sound and that spoken word is amazing.

22- Shadow, Chromatics

Loved this on Twin Peaks The Return, it’s a gem and perfect for drawing/painting to.

23- Bankrobber, The Clash

I always sing ‘Daddy was a vampire’

24- Do Your Best, John Maus

Slo-mo beauty.

25- Canadian Girl, The Walkmen

Nice vintage-tinged weirdness and soul.

26- Wave of Mutilation (UK SURF) Pixies

I love Pixies, only seen them live once but it was very, very, very special. Beautiful, laid back b side version that I prefer to the album track.

27- Fell An Ox

There was a time where all I would listen to was King Creosote - it was an obsession! I have lost count of KC gigs I’ve been to.

28- Slow West, Django Django

Love the film, love the soundtrack, loved Django Django up till the last few releases. There is a live version of this on KEXP from four years ago which is the one I usually listen to. Fucking brilliant live - got to see them on Eigg one time too. I rec the Slow West film if you haven’t seen it.

29- Withnail’s Theme, Jack Hallam

Great film and soundtrack - a big favourite.

30- Portofino 1, Raymond Scott

60’s!  Ha - I hadn’t realised this at all till writing all this.

31- Lady Gaylord, Raymond Scott

From Manhattan Research Inc a collection of his advertising jingles and snippets from the 60’s

32- The Pink Room, Angelo Badalamenti

Filthiest song ever? From Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me

33- Goodnight Felicia, Chris Bear

From the score to excellent TV show, High Maintenance. I do love Grizzly Bear anyway and cried at their last gig I went to - I always cry at gigs though so….

34- Plainsong, The Cure

My teenage self was a massive Cure fan and I dedicated my record player, school books, wardrobe and bedroom to them! Saw them live only once (the LIGHTS!!!!) because I was too young, obsessed over Robert Smith a lot! This song and the whole album were a big favourite. Beautiful.

35- A Reluctant Hero/Betsy/End Credits Taxi Driver, Bernard Herrmann

I love Herrmann and I really love Taxi Driver. This is just…. ooof!

36- I Fall In Love Too Easily, Chet Baker

Jazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 1954- what a pretty little voice.

37- Looking Back I Should Have Been Home More, Richard Swift

Just lovely, so sad about Swift.

38- Be My Baby, The Ronettes

The best opening song use ever- MEAN STREETS - turn this RIGHT up please.

39- Go, Sparklehorse, Flaming Lips - Daniel Johnston cover

Doubly sad because of Sparklehorse and Daniel Johnston. I have seen The Flaming Lips many times throughout their career - from small gigs to radio telescope gigs! What a fucking show!

40- Every Night, Perfume Genius

Just nice stuff. Like I said - live he is so sensual- his moves are amazing.

41- Fireflies Made Out of Dust, Happy Jawbone Family Band

Great track. Love the lyrics.

42- Sleeping Lessons, The Shins

Richard Swift again, on keyboards. I really enjoy the historical references and atmosphere on this.

43- Smoke Rings, Les Paul, Mary Ford

1952 - ssssso ssssssspooooky

[dean-bluesteel-winchester-spnfam]

Every question.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?Ohhh yes ;)

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?Nope. I never saw Cassie again since I saved her more than ten years ago. Lisa doesn’t even remember me. And Robin? Nope I visit her once at the restaurant she works at but that was also a long time ago.And I mean... why would I?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?Yeah I did.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?Actually yeah. I mean I got myself a family that I trust but it was always hard for me to start trusting someone. Now when I do trust someone, then it isn’t an issue anymore.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?‘Hang out’ heh? That’s how the kids call it today? But really, of course I do. Woke up next to him a few hours ago.

6. What are you excited for?Don’t tell anyone. Maybe christmas. Definitively for my wedding.

7. What happened tonight?Hmm. I made dinner, we watched a movie. Cas was telling me about some new facts about bees. I tried to teach him pool. He disctracted me. We went to bed ;)

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?What even is this question? Get wasted if you wanrt. Just be safe.

9. Is confidence cute?I think so.

10. What is the last beverage you had?Whiskey.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?Eh let’s see. Mom, Jody, Donna, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Claire, Alex. So eight.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?Ugh. Yeah. But I never wore them. Dunno. Probably look stupid.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?Trying to teach Cas pool again. Or maybe watch a movie and just enjoy a nice day without almost dying.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?Hmmm good question. Probably pie. But I’m also eying some classes I’d love to take. So maybe.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?Oh hell yes.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?People always change a bit. I think maybe it’s little things. I do hope to get happier. Without having to worry all the time.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?@anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam

18. The last time you felt broken?When Jake killed Mom and Cas walked away from me.

19. Have you had sex today?Not yet. Wish me luck.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?What should I realize?

21. Are you in a good mood?Yeah.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?Honestly? I think it’d be kinda badass. But I can already hear Cas and Sammy scolding me.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?Nope. I have no idea why my eyes turned out to be so green.

24. What do you want right this second?Cas.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?I hate this question. If he would kiss somebody else and *wants* to be with them, I’d let him go. No matter how that would hurt.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?Yes it is.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?I don’t think so. I mean laughing is so important and Cas makes me laugh all the time (not always on purpose).

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?Cas asking Sam why his hair looks like that.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?Sure do. Mostly my mom. But I also miss Cas and Sammy when they are away.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?Yes.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?No. He’s my brother.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?Yeah. I mean he didn’t for a long time, but I was brave and finally told him.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?Yeah kinda. Like really rare that I order soda.

34. Listening to?Led Zeppelin.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Sometimes.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?Yeah I can hear the shower and you know what? He sings sometimes in there.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?Ask me ten years ago, I’d say no. But when Cas came into that old barn? All powerful and hot? Maybe I got hard. But really the love came after I really got to know him.

38. Who did you last call?Charles. Invited her over.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?Cas. I just dunno grabbed him and spun him around in the bunker. I think he was kinda surprised but it was nice.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?Because I wanted the pie he baked. No, because I love him of course. Wished him a goodnight like that.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?Donna gave me some a few weeks ago. So good, but not pie.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?No... they are both dead.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?When do I not? Just yesterday I slipped in the shower and Castiel saw it while he brushed his teeth. A+

44. Do you tan in the nude?I try to tan, but it never works. I get only more freckles.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?No.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?Yeah. Cas always talk to me to sleep, so I can shut my brain off.

47. Who was the last person to call you?Cas or Sammy.

48. Do you sing in the shower?....No?

49. Do you dance in the car?Hell yes.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?Yeah quite a lot actually. Comes in handy while hunting.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?Oh... never actually. Or does the mugshot count?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?Yeah. But I like them anyway.

53. Is Christmas stressful?I have no idea? I just sounds nice.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?No.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?Everyone thinks it’s apple. And while I kill for apple pie, cherry is even better.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?After that with Mom, I wanted to be a firefighter. Also loved to be a mechanic or... have a bakery.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?Ha. yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?Yeah and I hate it.

59. Take a vitamin daily?No?

60. Wear slippers?Yeah.

61. Wear a bath robe?Also yes.

62. What do you wear to bed?If Cas fucks the lights out of me, nothing. Otherwise he got us soft pajames, because apprently it’s not good for me to sleep in jeans.

63. First concert?Small town band I forgot the name of. I sneaked out when Dad was sleeping and got wasted. I can still hear him screaming at me next morning, cause he thought a monster got me.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?I don’t care.

65. Nike or Adidas?Neither?

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Peanuts.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?What? I don’t have a... okay it’s ‘Shake it off.’

69. Ever take dance lessons?No - but when I was young I wanted to... I just.. well maybe I should take some before the wedding, right?

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?Oh. Not really, I’m just happy if they are happy as well.

71. Can you curl your tongue?Yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?No.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?Yes.

74. What is your favorite book?Sherlock Holmes.

75. Do you study better with or without music?With.

76. Regularly burn incense?No.

77. Ever been in love?Still am.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?Led Zeppelin. AC/DC. Elvis...

79. What was the last concert you saw?Can’t remember their name.

80. Hot tea or cold tea?Hot.

81. Tea or coffee?Coffee.

82. Favorite type of cookie?Chocolate.

83. Can you swim well?Yes.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?Eh yeah.

85. Are you patient?Not really. Which is not a good thing.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?Band.87. Ever won a contest?Yeah once I won an eating contest.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?Nope.

89. Which are better black or green olives?Ew. None.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?Everyone can do what they like. I wish I hadn’t waited for marriage but maybe for the right person.

91. Best room for a fireplace?Living room. Or my Dean cave.

92. Do you want to get married?Yes.

[masonjar828]

So this is in response to an ask me thing I reblogged. Thanks @kylorenpunk for once again making me do them all 😂 but I ain’t no quitter so let’s begin shall we.

1. Selfie; as seen above

2. What would you name your future kids?; If I could have sole control of naming my kids, I’d go with Zephyr for a girl and Red Nalloh for a boy. I always liked the word zephyr and I like the palindrome name that would come from naming my son that.

3. Do I miss anyone?; I recently moved to the west coast and left a lot of close friends behind so I miss each of them every day.

4. What am I looking forward to?; I recently interviewed for a job I’m pretty excited about so I’m really looking forward to hearing new news from them!

5. Is there anyone who can make me smile?; Legit anyone who ever says or does a kind thing to me I will think about from time to time with a little grin.

6. Is it hard for me to get over someone?; I don’t have too much experience needing to do so but I feel like it takes me a normal amount of time to get back on the level after being with someone 😂😅

7. What was my life like last year?; I was a senior in college man...life was a ball of stress and sleep deprevation for months.

8. Have I ever cried from annoyance?; Not really. It honestly takes a lot to make me cry usually. BUT! Show me something with heartwarming feels and a tear or two will always come.

9. Who did I last see in person?; My aunt while we were watching a movie.

10. Am I good at hiding my feelings?; Maybe? I feel like I am but I also know my poker face is garbage so I could be suckish at hiding my feelings too haha.

11. Am I listening to music right now?; Yes! The new Greatest Showman Reimagined album and it’s utterly amazing!

12. What is something I want right now?; I want more than anything rn to hear back from some job somewhere because I’m so in need of a post-college job 😂😅

13. How to I feel right now?; Bit of a headache and fairly tired but overall pretty happy! Listening to the rain outside helps.

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged me?; About 20min ago when I said goodnight to my aunt lol.

15. Personality description; I feel the best way to describe my personality is a hyperactive ball of music and useless facts who usually does anything to help my friends, usually at the expense of my sanity at times 😂

16. Have I ever wanted to tell someone something but I didn’t?; There was a time where I desperately wanted to take a risk of telling one of my closest friends just how I truly felt about her but didn’t because I didn’t want to risk ruining the friendship that meant too much to me.

17. Opinion on insecurities; They are a thing everyone experiences and should never be judged on, but I do feel like the only way to truly become better as a person is to actively work to identify and try to work on overcoming or coming to terms with them.

18. Do I miss how things were a year ago?; The constant stress, absolutely not. The friends I got to see daily and never get to see and rarely talk to anymore, all the goddamn time.

19. Have I ever been to New York?; State, yes. City, also yes. Went this past summer to see Hamilton live and my god it was one of the best shows I’ve ever experienced! ☺️

20. Favorite song at the moment?; Hardest question in the world to ask me since I listen to and love so many so songs at once. The one currently stuck in my head is Zac Brown Bands version of From Now On from the Greatest Showman Reimagined soundtrack.

21. Age and birthday; 22 and August 28th

22. Description of crush; No crushes at the current moment but I usually like women a tad shorter than me, with amazing eyes, and a personality that is fun and nerdy so we can make stupid puns and jokes to each other.

23. Fears; Only one real one and it’ll always be snakes. Fuck those venomous and scaly bastards.

24. Height; Like 5’9”-5’10”ish I think?

25. Role model; My dad for sure. He is one of the most loving and caring people I know who can be outright terrifying if he needs to be.

26. Idols; I’m not really the type to idolize anyone tbh 😅 I feel like idolization can be a tad unhealthy.

27. Things I hate; The thing I hate most in the world (apart from snakes, fuck snakes) would have to be the sound of silence (not the song I love the song). Silence weirds me the hell out and I’m not about it.

28. I’ll love you if...; I’ll basically love you if you just show you genuinely care for me and have my best interest at heart. If you do that I’ll basically fight for you til the very end.

29. Favorite films; Star Wars for a series, Airplane! for a individual movie.

30. Favorite tv shows; Brooklynn 99 is my current binge. Others tend to be Star Trek: Next Generation, Cosmos (think this is considered tv), Friends, Avatar, The Last Airbender, etc lol.

31. 3 random facts; About me I’m guessing? I can solve a Rubik’s cube in about 30sec. I can sing the lyrics to literally each and every track from the Hamilton soundtrack. And I can bake recipe for cookies I’ve had friends literally fight over blindfolded if I have the ingredients all lined out first.

32. Are my friends mainly girls or guys?; Girls mostly. Guys tend to annoy the hell out of me most of the time. Even my best friend in the world can annoy the shit out of me fairly easily 😂😅

33. Something I want to learn; How to play literally any instrument. At all. I have wanted to learn for ages but I am just not good with instruments at all.

34. Most embarrassing moment; I tend to repress my embarrassing moments a lot so the first one that comes to mind is when I was talking shit about a professors godawful and stupid teaching method after being given a test he taught us like 30% of and turning around to see him 10ft away and definitely hearing what I said 😐

35. Favorite subject; Any math or chemistry really. #chemicalengineeringlife

36. 3 dreams I want to fulfill; Fairly easy I think. Find success in an area near my family so I can stay close with them after years of being unable to. Find a partner who I can be happy with the rest of my life. And be financially stable to never need to stress about living day to day.

37. Favorite actor/actress; Actor I think Chris Pratt. Actress Anna Kendrick.

38. Favorite comedian; John Mulaney without hesitation.

39. Favorite sport; Tennis. Can’t play it for years and not love it.

40. Favorite memory; Ooh hard one. I think it would have to be the time my family went camping to a place in the middle of Nowhere, Nevada when I was younger and I was able to see each and every star in the sky like I had never been able to before. It made me start to love space and science as a whole looking into that beautiful endless abyss.

41. Favorite book; Hate this because I love reading so so much and it’s like having to choose a favorite child. I think the one I most often reread would have to be The Hobbit though.

42. Favorite song ever; Bohemian Rhapsody I would guess counts the most since it’s the one I will always go back to and enjoy. (Also if you haven’t seen Bohemian Rhapsody the movie yet it’s insanely entertaining and I recommend it hard)

43. Age I get mistaken for; With the beard grown out some age definitely mid-20s, without the beard I’ve been called 18 or younger multiple occasions.

44. How I found out about my idol; See idol question above.

45. What my last text message says; “Goodnight”, sent to a friend I was talking to as they were very close to passing out.

46. Turn ons; If you’re able to engage with me on an intellectual level and be able to just be fun and goofy with me.

47. Turn offs; Trump supporters, Naxi sympathizers, and people who refuse to accept scientific evidence for things like vaccines and climate change.

48. Where I want to be right now; In bed, which luckily I am! 😝

49. Favorite picture of my idol; See idol question above.

50. Starsign; Virgo I believe.

51. Something I’m talented at; Random useless fact storage to be used at bar trivia nights.

52. 5 things that make me happy; Being with family, listening to good music, reading a good book, baking something delicious, and long drives with deep talks with friends.

53. Something worrying me at the moment; Not getting the nice job I interviewed for after the interview going as awesome as it did.

54. Tumblr friends; I have a few friends who have tumblrs like @kylorenpunk, @thepunmaster3000, and @be-inspirational-to-others. Though any mutuals I have I would love to become more friendly with so please feel free to send me a message sometime 😂😋

55. Favorite food; Probably chicken Alfredo I think.

56. Favorite animasl; Dolphins and tortoises 🐬🐢

57. Description of best friend; Tall dude with a short trimmed beard. Musically talented in basically any instrument I can think of. Movie lover to the point of almost insanity. Funny dude who also calls me out on my extremely dumb jokes and puns all the goddamn time.

58. Why I joined tumblr; I was told about it by a friend when I needed to vent a lot and she had me make one. Vented very rarely but enjoyed the weirdness of the site.

59. Ask me anything you want (I’m guessing for who asked me this); @kylorenpunk, why the hell do you make me always do all of these? 😂😅 I don’t mind but lord does it take forever to type all this junk out.

[canaryatlaw]

alright, let’s get going with this. Today was fine, not particularly exciting, but it was my last day of classes, potentially for the rest of my life, so that’s something at least. I woke up to my alarm at 11:10, ten minutes earlier than usual because I wanted to do my make up and look nice for my last day. Got ready, walked to the train, and took it down to school. Dumped stuff in the PAD office then went up to class. It was all review, so we went over some topics and example questions, and how to best answer them. I’m not particularly worried about this final because it’s in a class I do actually have interest in and paid more attention to than my other classes, plus it’s open book/notes, and I’m just generally good at answering essay questions on tests, I just get going and I’ll just keep writing and writing. And I did really well on the midterm for this class (it was when the prof was like “I graded it out of 8, most everyone got 6′s, but if you said something really brilliant and mind blowing you might have gotten a 7″ and of course when I opened my envelope the assignment was in there was a big 7 on the top, so that was encouraging) so I’m feeling pretty good about this one. After class I went back to the PAD office and decided to focus on Remedies for a bit since I had my last class for that tonight. It’s not in the bar review books, but I was able to get a pretty solid outline from the PAD outline bank, it was from a class with another professor, but honestly it’s just the basic concepts it’s really not gonna differ that much. It was set up in a format so that I could largely copy and paste from it onto my flashcards, so that helped on time. But yeah, I worked on it from like 2:30 to 5, and I got through 14 pages of the outline (out of 24 total) and 156 flashcards done, so that was good. I grabbed a slice of pizza from the little market place that just moved in next to the school because I wasn’t feeling a salad today, lol. Went to Remedies, it was a pretty good class period, we did finish up on some stuff then went to review. There was a really funny moment when the prof was talking about what the test would consist of and he accidentally said “33 essay questions” instead of 33 multiple choice questions” and we pretty much all died of laughter. I also raised my hand at one point, because I mean, I knew the answer so why not, and I probably haven’t raised my hand in that class in like, 6 weeks (it was hard to pay attention during the LOT season because I’d end up glued to twitter for the hour), and the prof like, flipped out and was so happy I raised my hand lol it was sweet, and he was like “you know, I like you” which is always nice to hear. That’s gonna be my one closed book final, which is fine, I think I can get enough of that info in my brain to be able to regurgitate it onto a final. it’s also nice that my final dates are in the same order of my confidence in classes, so my easiest one is first, then the middle, then the hardest, giving me more time to study for them, so that worked out well. We got out around 7:30 (an hour early) and I was home by 8:30. Decided I’d watch Supergirl, and I don’t think it was too bad really, the Kara/Mon-El stuff was mostly cringey (but what else is new) though at least she got to tell him off at one point, that was immensely satisfying to hear that she does at least know just how much of an asshole he had been. All the J’onn/Myr’nn (they keep changing the location of the hyphen in his name, from like M’yrnn to My’rnn to Myr’nn and its quite annoying) was sad of course, so that was kinda rough to watch. The Sam and Lena stuff I thought was pretty good though, there’s definitely something distinctly Luthor about keeping someone in a secret medical facility until you can find out what’s going on with them, and I mean I’m sure Lena did it with the best of intentions, but it’s something that I can totally see Lex doing too, maybe under different circumstances but still. Seeing Lena push Sam until she broke was hard, as was Sam’s meltdown afterwards, all of which was sooooo reminiscent of season 8 of Smallville with the Davis/Doomsday situation, with Lena now being in the place of Chloe trying to stop this from happening, even though it’s probably out of their control. Listening to Sam call Ruby and have to tell her she can’t visit her was rough though, honestly I’m at the point where Sam and Ruby are the only characters I even care about (I mean, maybe Lena sometimes, mostly because she can give me Tess Mercer vibes and I love Tess oh so much) because they’ve made most of the other characters either just not having a plot or making them super obnoxious. I still love Winn, but he really hasn’t had much to do this season. but yeah, overall not bad, so I’ll take it. After I finished that The Resident had finished recording, so I moved over to that. Man, what an episode. The pacing was very good, intermingling the hospital drama with the patient anecdotes with Dev in the ER. Things are obviously escalating very quickly in terms of going from “this doctor is giving too much chemo to patients” to “this doctor straight up murdered her patient to keep her quiet” quite quickly, but I mean that’s basically what happened so I guess we’ll have to deal with that now, though idk how they’re gonna go forward from here with Nic out of her job and Bell now the CEO. I found the fire storyline slightly amusing because afterwards they were like “what happened?” “the patient caught fire” like that’s something that happens all the time 😂 this show continues to make me extremely nervous about going into surgery for anything ever; when I was in the ER over spring break they were like “oh this surgeon is great, he has a lot of experience and is well regarded” and he walked in and had gray hair and I was like FUCK I’M GOING TO DIE 😂😂 but thankfully I was able to avoid getting cut open so I lived to see another day 😂. After the episode I watched the news for a few while I finished up a few things (mainly finishing scrolling through the tumblrs I check every day) then started getting ready for bed, and now I’m here. DV clinic tomorrow for my last shift for the time being, depending on what I end up doing over the next few months I might be able to pick up some shifts over the summer, but I know I do need to focus on bar prep, with the rule of thumb being 8 hours of studying a day for 6 weeks (literally a full time job) if you want to pass. So we’ll see how that plays out. and yeah, not a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be good, and then I’ll probably be in finals study mood for the next few weeks, when my finals start on May 2nd and go to May 9th, then I’ll be graduating on the 13th. It’s so close, but it feels so far away right now because it’s on the other side of 3 massive tests I have to pass to get there. It is so close though, and soon enough it will be here, just gotta get through these last few hurdles. Alright, I’m done talking for the night (on this blog at least, I’ll probably make a post on my personal after this). Goodnight dearies. Love you lots.

[scientifically-strange]

I'm daring you. 1. - 47.

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

I mean, that would be nice. I mean, I’m not actively looking for one right now, but if someone comes my way I’m not exactly going to get in the way of my own happiness, you know?

2.When did your last hug take place?

A few hours ago. My stepdad was saying goodnight to me

3.Are you a jealous person?

No, not really. I’m a pretty laid back person

4.Are you tired right now?

Bro, that’s like my default mode, alright. I’m always tired, 24/7

5.Do you chew on your straws?

Sometimes. Not recently though since I just got my retainer like a week ago

6.Have you ever been called a tease?

No? I mean, in bed sure a couple times, but in general like ‘hey you’re leading me on’ kind of tease, never. I’m a very blunt, straightforward person sometimes

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Listen, I know sometimes I make jokes about hating myself, but I don’t hate myself that much. 

8.Do you cry easily?

I do, but not often. Usually when I cry it’s from an intense emotional buildup over a long period of time because I subconsciously bottle things up without realizing it until it’s too late so

9.What should you be doing right now?

Math homework, sleeping, mentally preparing myself for having to work on Thanksgiving

10.Are you a heavy sleeper?

I live in a house with four dogs, a noisy younger brother, an older brother with noisy friends, and my dog’s snoring and godawful farts, so yeah, I am. If I wasn’t I would literally just be awake the whole time

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

My last big relationship lasted almost 3 years, so yeah, I think I can do that

12.Are you mad at someone right now?

Yeah, but only in the sense that if the subject is brought up I’ll rant big time and talk some major shit, but I’m not like outright looking for someone to be angry at, it just sort of happens

13.Do you believe in love?

Yes.

14.What makes you laugh no matter what?

There’s this comic floating around on this site somewhere where Captain America sneezes and Tony says god bless america and the last panel is like this closeup of Cap’s face and he looks just like Kermit the Frog and it makes me lose my fucking shit every time I see it

15.Who was the last person you talked to?

My stepdad

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

Platonically? No, but with people I have a sort of crush on, yeah, sometimes. 

17.Will you get married?

Hopefully one day. I can’t really see myself with a husband though, so I’m gonna be searching for that soft wife of mine who can crush my skull with her thighs

18.When was the last time you smiled?

When I was answering question 14

19.Does anyone like you?

Yeah, but the feeling is not returned. He’s 14 and in the tae kwon do class before mine, and I’m 18 and don’t do that so

20.Do you secretly like someone?

Um...Idk? Maybe? I’m pretty clueless with my own feelings sometimes, so if I like someone it’ll take me a cool minute to realize it. So in short, TBD

21.Who was the first person you talked to today?

Does my dog count

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

A close friend of mine who I’ve known for almost ten years, a new internet friend of mine, and one of my friends from high school who I still talk to regularly

23.What are you NOT looking forward to?

The holiday season and fucking Star Wars. Listen, okay, FUCK Star Wars (I work at a fucking movie theater literally shoot me)

24.What ARE you looking forward to?

I got the job to this dance place the next town over from mine. They teach ballroom dancing, and for the next three months I’m gonna be training with them to become an official instructor. My training for it starts next week, and I’m really excited about it

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

Yeah, plenty of times

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

Listen, I wouldn't care. We’re not together anymore, so why should it matter? It shows me that they’ve moved on to a hopefully happier, healthier relationship, and even if I didn’t leave on best terms with someone, I still want them to be happy

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

No, I can;t afford that. College is expensive my dudes

28.Are you a forgiving person?

Yeah, I like to think so. What happened then is water under the bridge now, and there’s way to much time wasted on hate where I could be doing other things, like sleeping or talking to my dog like she’s my therapist

29.How many TRUE friends do you have?

Six

30.Do you fall for people easily?

I don;t think I do? Like, usually I would like to know the person for years befroe we start going out. With my last relationship we knew each other for six going on seven years before we dated for a couple months, and before that I had known my ex for three years before we started dating. So no, not really. It makes it kind of hard to get a girlfriend of a boyfriend because I want to be with someone but I don;t want to settle for just anybody who I have no emotional connection with

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

No, those are strictly platonic relationships

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

My retainer 

33.Who was the last person you drove with?

My younger brother. As stated above I work at a movie theater, so I took him there and we watched the new Thor movie and Justice League (which are both amazing btw)

34.How late did you stay up last night and why?

I stayed up until about 1:30 am because I was at work

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Probably. I live in midwestern America right now, so the economy isn’t all that great and some people are overly conservative (If you’re a conservative idgaf, i’m talking about the ones that think I should have the gay electrocuted out of me, or the ones that think cutting school funding is a legit smart idea)(Because it’s fucking not but that’s a whole other story I’m not going to get into)

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Me, because I’m amazing (And was trying out a new lipstick)

37.Can you live a day without TV?

I already do that lmao

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

A couple of weeks ago. My biological father didn’t call or text for almost two months, and didn’t go to my younger brother’s big football tournament down in Dallas. When he did finally text me, the conversation was four messages long and there was no apology or explanation. He acted like it was able to be swept under the rug so yeah, I’m kind of disappointed. I thought he would finally stop doing that

39.Three names you go by..

My birth name, JoAnn, and then there’s Joan and Joananana (and only one person is allowed to call me that)

40.Are you currently in a relationship?

With a person, no, but with my new OCs, god I wish

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and no, I don’t mean Steggy/Steve x Sharon

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

No. I mean, there are people who don’t like romantic/sexual stuff so no. Unless you mean in a platonic way, because sure, everybody has that best friend soul mate. 

43.What’s your current problem?

Everything

44.Have you ever had your heart broken?

Yeah, a few times. I don’t want to talk about that unless it’s through dms though, it’s too personal

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

If you can make it work than good on you, but I personally do not care for them

46.How many kids do you want to have?

Three. That way they can entertain themselves and I can have more grandchildren to spoil 

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them

I feel like that’s gonna be a situation that’s always going to be hard no matter how many times you do it. It’s because you’re opening yourself up and exposing your most vulnerable parts , therefore making you open to rejection. So yeah, I have, but luckily those people have shared the same feelings. At least for a little while

[warmroses]

1-100

DAMN, you lucky I'm bored lol1. Last kiss- Last night2. Last phone call- Last night 3. Last text message- Goodnight text to my grandma couple hours ago.4. Last song you listened to- Cigarette Daydreams by Cage the Elephant 5. Last time you cried- Friday.HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice- No7. Been cheated on- Yes8. Self harmed- No9. Lost someone special- I think everyone has.10. Been depressed- Idk. Iv been extremely sad but I feel like depressed is different.11. Been drunk and threw up- lol, yaTHIS YEAR HAVE YOU: 12. had sex- yep13. How many people have you had sex with this year?- 315. Made a new friend- Yes17. Laughed until you cried- Yes18. Met someone who changed you- Yes19. Found out who your true friends were- Yes 20. Found out someone was talking about you- Yes 26. What did you do for your last Birthday- My friends threw me a party and it was lit. 27. What time did you wake up today- Like noon.29. Name something you CANNOT wait for- Tomorrow bc I get to go home for Thanksgiving break.😍🦃 30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time- Never31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life- I wish I had more money.32. What are you listening to right now- the air conditioner 33. When is the last time you had sex?- about 2 months ago 34. Who's getting on your nerves right now- Nobody 35. Most visited webpage- pornhub lmao. Jk. Probably blackboard, the site my school uses. Pornhub is in the top 5 tho hahaha.36. Favorite colour- yellow and purple 💛💜37. Nicknames- Live and Olie38. Relationship Status- sInGLe 39. Zodiac sign- LIBRA :-)40. Male or female- Female 41. Primary school- uhh. I went to like 5.lol42. Secondary School- WCMS43. High school/college- WCHS44. Eye color- dark brown 46. Height- 5'547. Do you have a crush on someone- No48. What do you like about yourself- uh I like that I am open minded.49. Piercings- belly button and ears. Used to have my septum but it closed. :-( 50. Tattoos- yep, 2.51. Righty or lefty- rightyFIRSTS: 53. First piercing- ears when I was like 2 months old.lol54. First best friend- this girl I used to be neighbors with. 55. First hookup- I'm gonna take this as sex. I was 19.56. First Bestfriend- you already asked this. LolRIGHT NOW: 59. Eating- nothing60. Drinking- nothing61. I'm about to- sleep 62. Listening to- already asked this b63. Waiting for- to go home tomorrow lol. YOUR FUTURE: 64. Want kids?- Idk. Sometimes. Most likely. 65. Get married?- Idk. Sometimes. Most likely. Lol. 66. Career- Anthropologist. WHICH IS BETTER: 67. Lips or eyes- lips. Bc all eyes are captivating fr. 68. Hugs or kisses- kisses69. Shorter or taller- taller70. Older or Younger- older or same age 71. Romantic or spontaneous- both 72. Nice stomach or nice arms- tummy 73. Sensitive or loud- 60 sensitive 40 loud 74. Hook-up or relationship- relationshipHAVE YOU EVER: 76. Kissed a stranger- yes.lol 77. Drank hard liquor- yep78. Lost glasses/contacts- don't have those79. Had sex- yep80. Broken someone's heart- ya82. Been arrested- nope 83. Turned someone down- yes lol 84. Cried when someone died- yes.85. Fallen for a friend- yes. 10/10 don't recommend.DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 86. Yourself- most days. 87. Miracles- sometimes 88. Love at first sight- no89. Heaven- yes 90. Santa Clause- what lol91. Kiss on the first date- sure why not 92. Angels- yes 93. How would you label yourself?- cool ass mf. 94. Someone You Pray Everyday For- my family and friends. 95. Did you sing today- yes. 96. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About- probably my most recent. 97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?- Last year.98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For- for everyone to just be chill with eachother regardless of our differences.99. Are you afraid of falling in love?- fuck ya dude. 100. Do you like the way you look?- not really.

[mumbleybummie-blog]

Get To Know Me Tag

i was tagged by the darling @darlingjbum !!! xx sorry for just now getting to this 

Rules: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

The Last:

1. drink: lemonade :) my favorite 2. phone call: my sister 3. text message: the garage door is open 4. song you listened to: high adventure - aladdin soundtrack (original broadway cast) 5. time you cried: i am not too sure. maybe while listening to let me.....???? 6. dated someone twice: nope. never dated anyone 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes, unfortunately  10. been depressed: absolutely  11. gotten drunk and thrown up: NO. Thank God!!

List 3 Favorite Colors:

12-14. pink, white, grey

In The Last Year Have You:

15. made new friends: YES!!!!! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: of course!!  18. found out someone was talking about you: i don't think so..... 19. met someone who changed you: maybe? 20. found out who your friends are: i am not too sure 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no

General:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t have a Facebook.  23. do you have any pets: yes!!! 2 dogs!! they are both bitches though 24. do you want to change your name: maybe dropping my last last name 25. what did you do for your last birthday: just went out to dinner with my family 26. what time did you wake up: 9  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: that is a secret ;)  28. name something you can not wait for: nothing really.... 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i was able to be more open with people and form more friendships and not shut myself out all the time. i am such a recluse sometimes. and do things that make me happy and doing stuff that is for the betterment of myself.  31. what are you listening to right now: aladdin soundtrack - prince ali to be specific 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes 33. something that is getting on your nerves: not being able to be the best that i can be 34. most visited website: tumblr (no doubt) / youtube / v live !!!! 35-37.  ?????????? 38. hair color: black 39. long or short hair: my hair is super short right now. like maybe a cm long 40. do you have a crush on someone: does got7 count? because if they do, then yes i do have a crush haha 41. what do you like about yourself: my personality?????? even that is questionable.  42. piercings: just basic ear piercings  43. blood type: i have no clue 44. nickname: jackie is my nickname! or kie.  45. relationship status: single af, and definitely ready to mingle 46. zodiac: GEMINI by fucking definition  47. pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: an idiot abroad, how to get away with murder, BIG BROTHER 49. tattoos: i want like a shitload of them!!! but none as of right now 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: no 52. piercing: answered in 42 ;) 53. sport: i am not a huge fan of sports. 54. vacation: europe and asia !! oh and the west coast !!! 55. pair of trainers: converse

More General:

56. eating: too much. always chicken though 57. drinking: lemonade, tea, sparkling water. 58. i’m about to go: work on requests haha 59. waiting for: something amazing to come my way 60. want: find people to love and appreciate me !!! find a man to marry haha and be able to do a job that i love 61. get married: one day hopefully 62. career: interior designer or set designer for theater

Which Is Better:

63. hugs or kisses: both! 64. lips or eyes: both! 65. shorter or taller: i am really short so everyone is pretty much taller than me 66. older or younger: definitely older 67. nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms! 68. hookup or relationship: relationship 100% 69. Troublemaker or hesitant: i am not too sure....

Have You Ever:

70. kissed a stranger: no 71. drank hard liquor: yes 72. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, thankfully 73. turned someone down: not that i can think of 74: sex on the first date: no, you have to go on dates for this to be a possibility haha 75. broken someone’s heart: no 76. had your heart broken: nope 77. been arrested: never 78: cried when someone died: 100% 79. fallen for a friend: oh something i am constantly prone to do

Do You Believe In:

80. yourself: yes  81: miracles: for the most part 82. love at first sight: i want to but then i am not too sure.... 83. santa claus: absolutely not haha 84. kiss on the first date: possibly depends on how it goes 85. angels: maybe ??

Other:

90. current best friend’s name: marissa 91: eye color: dark brown   92: favorite movie: i am just going to go with the default aladdin

tagging: @ars-ahgase @flyera @jbssi @katbeom @jaxslauj @jisawang @626mark @itsjjptime @imsarabum @imeightout  @imjaebeomtrash @mochimork @jj-nyoung @icarusjjp @noechoi @baebae-goodnight @rudeboywonho @def-initely-soul @jinyoungslover @jaebumsmeats 

sorry for tagging most of you in about a thousand of different things !! haha so do it if you want. it would be cool to get to know more of you that much more. 

[surveysonfleek]

242.

1. White or red wine? hate wine in general but i prefer white over red.

2. Who was the last person you hugged? my boyfriend.

3. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? not really. there was a substitute everyone thought was cute but i never crushed on him.

4. Where did your first kiss take place? at a party.

5. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? wolves.

6. What is your shoe size? 7-8.

7. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? vegetables.

8. Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? just a peck on the lips.

9. Would you rather never fall in love again or never orgasm again? never fall in love again lol.

10.What does your outfit consist of today? just a loose top and leggings.

11.What are your bust-waist-hip measurements? no idea actually, never measured it.

12.Are you a hypocrite? i can be but whatever.

13.Why did you last cry? i was frustrated.

14.What are your favourite smells? freshly baked bread or anything that’s in the processed of being cooked, rain and a million perfumes.

15.What are your favourite textures? whatever my blanket is.

16.Fur or feathers? fur.

17.Tartan or tweed? tweed.

18.Leopard print or neon? neon.

19.Any beauty tips? drink lots of water. it’s an obvious one but it did well for my skin.

20.(Send me a fuck marry kill)

21.If you won a LOT of money the lottery and decided to move, where would you move to? i’d probably buy a penthouse in san francisco. or a mansion in LA.

22.Alcoholic beverage of choice? bourbon and coke or southern comfort and sprite.

23.What is more attractive: Nice hands or nice feet? nice hands. i hate feet.

24.What’s the youngest you would consider dating? 24.

25.If you were around in the sixties would you be a mod or a rocker? mod.

26.Are thongs sexy? not really tbh lol.

27.Did you grow up in a healthy environment? yes.

28.What do you think of when I say “the twenties”? at first i thought of the age but since it says “the” i think of betty boop i guess.

29.Could you ever deliver a baby? nope, wouldn’t know the first thing to do.

30.Is penetration important to you? hmm yeah.

31.What did your last text read? goodnight i love you.

32.Can you ride a bicycle? yes.

33.What sport were you best at in high school? basketball.

34.Who do you miss right now? no one in particular.

35.What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? alize and sprite.

36.Paris, London and New York… which one would you live in, which would you visit for a day, which would you visit for a fortnight? live in new york, visit paris for a day, visit london for a fortnight.

37.What is your sexuality? straight.

38.Heavy rain or heatwave? heavy rain always. i hate the heat.

39.Chicken or fish? chicken.

40.Do you think suits are sexy? they can be if they’re fitted well.

[our-lovely-universe]

All the numbers, punk!!!

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? lol I'm not really?2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? my girlfriend sends me good morning snapchats everyday 💞💞3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? No, as long as it's not all the time.4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Oh yeah for sure! My uncle always says I'm super naive and need to stop trusting everyone I meet lol5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?sleeping 😴😴😴6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? Hopefully someone that isn't drunk and knows where we are going haha7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Dump that person.8: Are you close with your dad? No not at all, I haven't seen my bio dad since I was 3 and then the man who basically raised me (who I call my real father) left me when I was 9 or 10, we only just now reconnected last year and we are still not close.9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? Umm no unless you count kissing my little cousins goodnight 😂😂10: What are you listening to? New rules by dua lipa11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Tea! I'm addicted to it lol12: Do you like hickeys? Heck yeah! Lol which is really weird for an asexual but I think they are more intimate than sexual.13: What time do you go to bed? If I have work I like to be in bed by like 10:30 cause I have to be up at 5:30 am but if I have nothing to do I usually don't fall asleep until 3am.14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? My mother. I don't know how many chances I give her and she still disappoints me..15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Yeah I think I can, though my texts are more sloppy lol (I did this one with one hand)16: Do you always answer your texts?I do but it may take forever. Sometimes days!!!! I forget about texts all the time hahaha17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? Well I choose not to hate people, but I don't have respect for that person. They lied to me and always found a way to make me be the bad guy in a fight.18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? Well I Snapchat my best friend everyday (even tho she is terrible at keeping a streak!) but it's been awhile since we have seen each other 😭😭19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? My littles cousins. They are the light of my life 💞💞20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Well I like to go over everything in my life that is stressful at night because why the fuck not?!?! So I was probably thinking about all the shit that happened yesterday 😒😒21: Is anyone else in the room with you? Nope, I'm alone, or at least I hope so!!22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? I mean I guess?? I never really thought about it. I mean I always say be kind and kindness will come back so I guess that's the same lol23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? Honestly no. Probably the same maybe a little worse.24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? My dad. Even after him leaving me for another family, I really want us to be able to work things out.25: In the past week, have you cried? Oh yeah, I've cried in the last hour lol26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Blue27: Do people ever call you by your last name? Yeah but they usually call me flawless lawless.28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? Not that I know of?29: Do you have a best friend? Yeah grace, we've been friends since we were little. And then also my girlfriend!30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? No not at all.31: Who was your last call/text message from? My aunt just texted me a picture of my cousin, today was her first day of kindergarten.32: Are you mad at anyone? Does myself count?33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yes.34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? I don't know.... barely knew the person.35: How many more days until your birthday? Tomorrow it will be exactly a month!!!! So excited!!36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Summers over yo! Start school next week!37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Sure I have one or two, use to have more but most my friends and I have grown apart due to distance.38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? Yeah.39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yes.40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes.....41: Do you think age matters in relationships? No, as long as you love the person and have a healthy relationship.42: Are you available? No I am very much unavailable.43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Um no one?44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? I had my nose pierced a couple times but I don't think I would get anything else pierced.45: Do you believe exes can be friends? Sure as long as you guys are both respectful of eachother.46: Do you regret anything? I choose not to regrets my choices in life.47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Nothing really, my thoughts are pretty muddled today.48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Yeah kind of, it's complicated.49: Was your last kiss a mistake? Wait wasn't this asked earlier? Idk but yes my last kiss was def a mistake50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? Well I mean I already got her lol51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? No.52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Jesus Christ it's hard answering these last person you kissed, since the last person I kissed forced me. But no I do not!!53: What was the last thing you ate? Idk, I haven't eaten since yesterday.54: Did you get any compliments today? Yeah I got one from someone on Tumblr lol55: Where are you going on your next vacation? Idk but I would like to go to Canada to meet my gf or meet halfway somewhere with her.56: Do you own anything from other countries? Well most the stuff in America is made from china so yeah 😂😂57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Idk I would say it's 50/5058: Where have you lived most of your life? Kansas59: When was the last time you took a long drive? 2 weeks ago to see my sister.60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? No that's mean!62: Who do you text the most? My girlfriend.63: What was the last movie you saw? I'm watching a lifetime movie right now about a teenage murderer.64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? Idk, I mean I know nothing about their exes, but I have faith in my partner.65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? Um none probably. I didn't date a lot.66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? No.67: Do you curse around your parents? Oh yeah.68: Are you happy with where you live? I mean I'm content but it's not where I want to be for the rest of my life.69: Picture of yourself? Idk how to add pics to a answer thing? Lol70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? Def monogamous!!71: Have you ever been dumped? No I'm usually the dumpee.72: What do you most like about making out? Well I'm not a huge fan of it, I mean it's nice but Idk lol73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Yeah like one girl but I was trashed 74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Usually the other person 😬 I don't normally initiate the kissing.75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Their minds 😅😏76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Holly77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? No.78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? No.79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? My significant annoyance 😂😂 no but for real they make my life so much better. 80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Yeah definitely.81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yeah.82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? No I tend to keep to myself.83: Do you miss your last sweetie? No84: Last time you slow danced with someone? Prom.85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? Well I've never met my current gf.86: How can I win your heart? It's pretty easy, I have a big heart that loves everyone I meet. Buy me some Starbucks and we good 👌🏻👌🏻87: What is your astrological sign? Virgo88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping!89: Do you cook? Oh yes! I love it!90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yeah my first girlfriend, we are kind of friends now, but only on social media, we don't talk much.91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? I am in a relationship.92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I swear this has already been asked hahaha93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? I don't really have a type. Though I think tattoos are really attractive.94: Name four things that you wish you had? 1. A dog2. My own place3. Some coffee4. A blanket (it's always across the room)95: Are you a player? No.96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? No.97: Are you a tease? No.98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? No99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yeah. Once before and right now.100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? My gf101: Hugs or Kisses? Hugs!!! 102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? No.103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Um idk.104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? Idk I think it's my least favorite just because my step sister and her fiancée always call each other babe and nothing else and it's the most annoying thing ever! Me and my sis make fun of them all the time for it! 105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? Nooo!!!106: Do you flirt a lot? Yeah I guess!107: Your last kiss? Don't want to talk about it 👌🏻👌🏻108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? No.109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? No.110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? My gf111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? My gf112: Does someone like you currently? Hopefully a lot of people like me, I try to be a like-able person.113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? My gf114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious relationship.115: Ever made out with just a friend? No.116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? Relationship obviously, she makes like so much happier!!