#i had a lot of thoughts after hearing this version
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so one of my favoritest things about musical theatre is how sometimes someone will play a role MANY times and each time that character is portrayed differently because of different directors AS WELL AS that actor growing to understand the character more
that being said, barry dennen played pilate like THREE TIMES! as any of you would guess from my pfp, i LOVE that guy! so! for funsies! im going to analyze (ramble about) his second pilate portrayal, which was in the 1971 broadway musical! im mostly going to break down his character in trial before pilate because pilate’s dream doesn’t offer anything much different from the 1973 movie version… trial before pilate however…

in case youre wondering how differently he plays the same character… this photo should be a good summary for what this analysis will contain… (hint: he is so angry)
here is the song so u may listen along while i break it down:
okay! so! first off, yeah he is literally so much angrier. and i mean as soon as the questions begin he is already shouting!
he is throwing everything out fast! he is pissed! babygirl drink some water! and also, he has a lot of silly sounding voice cracky moments? not voice crack but like sudden and unnecessary shifts in pitch that make me take him less seriously (ex. when he goes like “respect for caesAAA” bro it just sounds goofy what are u trying to do)
then he goes from this HIGH HIGH point of emotions to very low low soft emotions for “talk to me jesus christ” and its like. idk im just thinking bro where is this coming from?!! ur all angry and then u turn around like “jesus literally say smth jesus pls :3” like idk i think its a bad transition.
AND THEN WE GET! im going to put this clip here for those not listening along
this segment. i can literally hear him frothing at the mouth WHO GAVE MY BOY RABIES?!!! WHY IS HE SO FERAL?!!!!
i just. its almost like hes looking for a crime because he actively wants to kill jesus and just needs a reason to pull the trigger. which is like. so not true about his character??? he also sounds like hes insulting jesus here, mocking him. like bros, literally everyone else is already mocking and insulting jesus in this moment. alternatively, if this moment is played more like pilate showing pity on him it provides good contrast! it makes everything more complex and Layered!
i dont have much to say about the flogging except i think girlypop is doing a bit Much(tm) but its acceptable (anythings better than the concept albums robotic counting…. eugh)
OKAY! so when he starts singing the “where are you from jesus” segment, i think this starts out so well! perfect sense of how pilate is just desperate for jesus to speak, to say anything to defend himself. bro also lowkey sounds like hes about to start weeping?? get this man some tissues!
AND THEN he ruins it in the way he emphasizes “dead soon.” YOU WERE DOING SO GOOD! what now?! are you threatening him for answers? and then he goes back to that previous tone like that was nothing! HUH? AND THEN! by the end of “i dont believe you understand” hes just kinda suddenly shifted back into that anger we are so familiar with. dude get a nap or something. chill out my guy good lordt
and the way hes like “youre a foOOL jesus christ” is just such a weird delivery (like that caesar thing from earlier, odd changes in pitch) and it just! i cant take him as seriously! i do like his “how can i help you?” right after, though, it just sounds deliciously horrified and like desperate and sick. acceptable!
and then the climax of the song! the part where he SHOULD show some kind of anger and SHOULD outright yell! “DOOOONT LET ME STOP YOUR GREAT SELF DESTRUCTION!” it just doesnt stand out as much when you have set the precedent of “oh well hes just kinda. feral and angry like that for the entire time” NO! GIVE ME CONTRAST OR GIVE ME DEATH! and even in this final part, hes still just too angry! theres not much else to it! hes yelling the words but hes not comprehending them!
i think when it comes to pilate as a character, it is very easy to lean into “angry, intimidating, angry, intimidating” and that’s just kinda… no! yes, he needs to have presence and be at least a little intimidating but not because hes yelling at you all the time! hes also terrified, full of guilt, and he has sympathy for jesus! he doesnt want to kill him, but he eventually realizes that he has no choice in the matter and THAT is what leads to him snapping and finally yelling at the end! because everything is fixed and YOU CANT CHANGE IT! AND HE CANT!
and yeah! thats my thoughts and breakdown about this specific performance! lmao! i think a lot of things about pilate, also they shouldve hired me to direct the 1971 bway production… i woulda given good notes… and also barry dennen was still developing his interpretation of the character and it IS better than the concept album (and concept album pilate has like… 0 presence… he sounds like a little nerd dork… i COULD break down that performance but its not asssssss juicy.)
BONUS if you got to down here, this is another picture of jesus choking out pilate, which means this was literally in the shows blocking AHAJSJDJF

#jcs#jesus christ superstar#jcs 1971#i had a lot of thoughts after hearing this version#i love barry dennen thats why im tearing him 2 shreds here lols its all love#anyways writing pilate fics as we speak :3#Spotify
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Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#madam lan#A-qing#Band AU#(Reminder that Madam Lan's design inspiration goes to Qourmet!)#Madam Lan may have been the winner per vote count but there were so many strong advocates for A-Qing!#I played around with a few versions of what the 'poll winner' art was going to be and ultimately decided I wanted them both.#As any good theater love knows though - The battle for leadership was a ruse. They *all* get a chance to be featured.#Cooperation was the real end goal! However I do think these two have the best frontman energy of the group.#Or at least 'crowd favourite' energy. I also really loved hearing what people thought their vocal styles would be like!#This was probably one of my favourite polls to do and I love drawing these characters a lot B*)#I'd love to spend a bit more time in this AU so count on me bringing it back.#One thing I keep feeling like I need to redeem myself on is Madam Lan's Translucent skirt. I have *not* done the concept justice yet.#It is such a crack-platonic ship but I want to think Madam Lan and A-Qing would enjoy each other's company.#Possibly also with JYL as well. They can be like mutually beneficial therapy dogs to each other.#Madam Lan never got to see her kids grow up into teenagers after all. She only had sons. Never daughters.#Even if she saw her kids once a month we do know she treated them with so much love and kindness.#She would bite the shit out of YZY for yelling at JYL. What a sight to see. A-Qing would also start biting (for fun).
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You ever come up with a vague AU concept involving your favorite character and your favorite dynamic but you don't actually know how you'd go about anything with the AU other than the one singular vague concept
#...........au where kel dies somehow after mari's death#idk i just#spirit kel.... haunting hero.... with spirit mari......#spirit kel sticking with hero like how spirit mari sticks with sunny (tho they visit the others in the group sometimes ofc)#spirit kel desperately trying to comfort hero but he cant interact with him much bc he's a ghost#dkjhvku i like kel and hero's dynamic a lot#im just thinking of like. a black and white version of short 12yo kel#cuddling 19yo hero trying to make him feel better even tho hero cant see or feel or hear him#sorry i had thoughts earlier#starfilled.txt
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you might’ve already seen this but i’ll still share it just in case! <3
russ ballard for kerrang! magazine, august 22, 1985. [x]
"Russ 'Typhoon' Ballard" amazing.
i have seen this, but i forget things exist a lot and forget all of what i've read, so i do love reading things again. and again. and again and again and again an-
i love the way this is worded:
taken their lick-smackin' choice.
and the list has gotten MORE impressive over the years!
SEE, SEE, THIS, I KNEW IT HAD TO HAVE BOTHERED HIM:
AT LEAST A LITTLE. like, he's aware of WHY he hasn't been known that much, as he said in the other part
this part
but he's always like.. he always seems like he's fine and happy with everything, but i knew that him basically being left in the dust all the time HAD to have bothered him at some point. i don't understand how it wouldn't. and things like this:
and then as he says, they'd talk him out of doing his own songs, i mean.
yeah he didn't tour for a long time and the lack of promoting his stuff obviously was a problem, but it makes me sooo sad that his stuff would just be ignored like this, and the way it was like a "this song is a hit, but not if YOU do it" kind of deal with him. it's not like his music is bad. he has a beautiful voice and everything too, like. give him a break?? he deserves the entire world???
anyway, i could go on about this forever but i'll stop. i don't have that much of a grasp on how the music industry worked/works but it just seems unfair. ANYWAY.
i'm crying where do they come up with this kind of wording:
also i like how this says soccer instead of football at first:
i've seen him do that depending on who he's talking to and where they're from, he sometimes will do things like say soccer instead, which i add to the pile of reasons he always seems very aware and thoughtful and like ,what's easier for the people around him to understand.
he''s so cute, i need to see him as coach ballard. I NEED TO KNOW IF HE WORE SHORTS. i realized forever ago that i've never seen his legs and i'll never stop thinking about it, excuse me
this part is making me laugh too much
i need to know if he actually SAID SONG or if it was a typo while they were turning this into text.
"i wanted to see my song grow up"- russ ballard
without context, i wouldn't even question it, i'd just be like "yep that sounds like russ. obsessed with songs"
i love the way he takes things people say to him to heart so much and really thinks about it and applies it to his own life. when it comes to life choices, he does not mess around.
THE WORDING MAKES ME LAUGH SO MUCH:
russ ballard, genial genius of the lamp. what does genial mean, i have to look it up
yep, that's russ.
and. what does plaintive mean(there are many words i don't know)
sdgjhsdg okay. i am. losing it at the image of his phone ringing off the hook from people calling him and just sounding so sad begging him for songs while he's being all cheerful and friendly, sharing his song magic.
who wrote this article, wait. the first page says malcolm dome, does that mean he wrote this? i need to time travel and send him a cake for this or something.
i love seeing things like this from the 80's:
"i may even tour again!" and here he is in 2025, going on 80 years old, putting out a double album complete with a tour for it with his band, still so happy and passionate about everything.
he is actually adorable and i love him
#excuse me throwing my thoughts all over this but#going through this has made my entire morning#💜#he's always so positive about the other versions of his songs though like he loves everything#he tells that story when he does so you win again live#and he follows it up with 'and they were right!' because he does like how they did it#can't wait to hear his version of that too though on one of the new albums#he gets to officially do one of the songs he wanted to do#also#russ is just#he loves his family and#he's obsessed with writing songs and recording and performing#it would have been good if he could have had somebody that was good at promoting/marketing stuff for him#because that was probably one of the biggest issues#there have been clippings of advertisements people have saved over the years like#'russ ballard's new album' stuff in newspapers and things so there was a little bit of that#but anyway i think the way things are right now is good regardless#because there's also an issue a lot of people point out after they get really famous#they miss being able to interact with fans because it just becomes too much#the more people there are the harder it becomes to give the same kind of attention back to them#like individual people#and he looooves interacting with people when he can
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[SPOILERS] Homicipher Is Actually Romantic, Convince Me Otherwise [Analysis/Opinion] [SFW]
Word count: 3,332
Edit: 11/7/2024
[Feel free to skip to the last objective "Individual route discussion + what made it romantic" if you want to get straight to the point]
Homicipher is truthfully a romantic (or platonic) game. It is a game that has to be looked at from a different perspective when it comes to love/romance. A game where you have to take in consideration of the characters and the nature of their 'other world'. Today's post will discuss into what I believe made Homicipher an oddly, but romantic game, despite its shortcoming and abrupt ends.
⚠️[MAJOR LORE/CHARACTER ROUTE SPOILERS] ⚠️
Discussion Objectives:
Definition of Love & how it plays into Homicipher
The nature of the 'other world' and ghosts
Individual route discussion + what made it romantic (thoughts)
What Is Love & How Does It Play Into Homicipher?
Love has many layers of definition and associations. Maybe, that is why some may deem Homicipher to be "unromantic" and some disagree on that thought. It also varies based on the type of content/exposure you had consume in the category of love [whether romantic or platonic]. Socially, from a common standpoint, love is a strong attachment or affection for someone. Often from a social standpoint associated with dates, affection, and intimacy. However, love is always changing, since it is a social script on what its suppose to be, and changes as society progresses. Some notions stay the same but some begin to change (just like how language and certain concepts begin to change in the other world, a different society from our own). For the sake of a "true" definition of love. I will be using the definition offered by the Oxford Language Dictionary. So, what is love?
Love as a noun is...
"An intense feeling of deep affection"
"A great interest and pleasure in something"
"A person or thing that one loves"
Love as a verb is...
"Feel deep affection for (someone)"
"Like or enjoy very much"
Not long after its release there had been a fair number of comments/reviews criticizing Homicipher for its lack of romance. This claim is NOT entirely wrong. From the expectations of a "normal" Otome/dating sim it doesn't necessarily meet the requirements because of its lack of intimacy, affection and interest from a HUMAN/SOCIETAL perspective. We must remember that romance/love does not necessarily equate to kissing, hand holding, and intimacy especially considering that these are the HUMAN (societal) views on what romance/love is. A concept that had become lost in the 'other world'. So how can we call Homicipher romantic if we have to cross out the influence of our society? The answer is that we can't fully avoid it, HOWEVER, we must be open to a different perspective of what 'their' version of love is (platonic love/or romantic). No matter how lacking, dense, twisted and grotesque the moments we have spent with these ghosts are. In some shape and form it CAN equate itself to love (platonic/ or romantic). I think a lot of people forget that time itself can be equate to some complicated level of love. The fact you spend time with someone, and it develops to something further for worse or better, something that even love may not be able to name, is what this game demonstrates.
Homicipher has a consistent theme, the loss of truth, the acceptance of ignorance and the concept of eternity. Which shockingly is where the romance comes from. When we allow ourselves to rot in that world. When we ignore the exit and choose to stay, is where the romance comes through. Love is complicated. What can I say?
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The Nature of the 'Other World' & Ghosts
Alot of the ghosts we encounter can be friendly, but also just as deadly. We hear it from almost all of the casts warning or discussing about how dangerous a lot of the ghosts (including themselves) roam in this world, and in different endings, succumb to this danger ourselves. The longer we stay in this world, we soon start to become no different. As we, a human, begin to slowly transform into a different entity. We begin to react more violently (though it can be argued that since our MC is a serial killer, she might have just been violent and cruel in general). When angered, or things start not to go her way, she gets filled with bloodlust and takes it out on who she's with. Killing is a common thing to do in this world, especially when experiencing anger, sadness and even boredom. The concept of death is a little complicated as they can easily regenerate themselves back to "life". As the game progresses, we learn that some of these ghosts cannot grasp certain concepts (such as love), remember their own name and self, and don't have exact words (sometimes none) for items.
When sometimes even confessing that you like some of the ghosts they question you, and state that they cannot understand you or that feeling (platonic/ or romantic). We are in a setting that is beyond the mortal realm, there aren't any exactly "ideal" dates in a place different from the moral realm... so you're going to be stuck in a scary place, having a scary "date".
However just because they cannot understand the concept of love, doesn't meant that they can't feel it. It is something that the body may still feel, and the mind not being able to put an identity to that feeling or even situation, since meanings and concepts get lost within this realm. The fact that we are allowed to spend an eternity in this realm, with our handsome casts of ghosts. Is oddly and sadly romantic. For Mr. Crawling it is his devotion and loyalty to you, it is how he worries and cares for you, it is his affection and attempts to soothe you. For Mr. Silvair it is his care for you (as research of course lol), your usefulness (which is why he is attracted to you), but even then, one of his endings he keeps you as a head, when you had become useless to him. For Mr. Gap he finds you intriguing, he wants to play and follow you around, always asking for parts of you with consent, loves to brag about himself to you. For Mr. Chopped it is his want to rely on you, to feel safe with you, to protect him, to spend time with him. For Mr. Hood it his willingness to help you for an eternity, to roam with you forever, keeping you away from danger. For Mr. Machete it is the fact you both spend an eternity searching for a home together, to suffer boredom together, to suffer within each other's presence. For Mr. Scarletella it is his obsession for you and his willingness to spend an eternity with you.
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Individual Routes + What Made Them Romantic
[Not in any particular order]

Mr. Crawling
If I had to rank who had the most "romantic" route overall, it would be Mr. Crawling. With the definition usage of love from the Oxford dictionary, verb and noun he checks all the list. Not only that, but we spend time with him the most out of all the other casts. He was the very first ghost we meet (briefly in the beginning) and got stuck with. We are like a baby bird imprinting on him because we saw him first and spent time with him the most, so of course we might feel the most attached to him compared to the others. As the game progresses Mr. Crawling doesn't fail to let us know that he cares for us and our safety warning us of the dangers that come and explaining how to navigate our way around danger. He expresses his worries when we disappeared. He seems to have some concept of love (platonic/ or romantic) as he admittedly tells us that he likes us and ask us if we like him. He expresses how he wants to follow and protect us. He also has so many cute scenes! Scenes where he pats our head, scenes where we lay together, chat a lot together. He is devoted and loyal to us, never harming us even once.
We even get a scene where he gets jealous when we called Mr. Chopped cute with the cat headband! So, he also makes an attempt to be cute too! We are always together with him, and that makes us BOTH happy. Although we don't have our traditional romantic dates like shopping, movie night. We get a bed scene and get to take him back home with us.
There are many types of romance. Platonic and romantic. You the reader/player is allowed to view it however you want. The game does not punish you for the lack of interactions with the casts. You just end up missing out on certain scenes/moments with them is all. However, for the sake of this post I will be making attempts to talk about the romantic aspect (but platonic romance can also be put into place).
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Mr. Silvair
lt's apparent that Mr. Silvair keeps us as research material and confines us in his lair. He is interested in our body, and also interested in returning our mind/intellect back to its original state. It is this interest in us that makes him "love" us. Does confinement and research count as love? Well...maybe not in terms of human definition but in the Mr. Silvair way, it's the closest thing you can get to romantic (or platonic). Afterall, the concept of love has become lost in this world.
I believe he still has some attachment to us, because in the ending A Head's Life, he still keeps you as a companion along with Mr. Chopped. He claims that you are no longer useful/capable but that it is okay, as long as danger is no longer here. When you choose to ask him why he did what he did and ask if he likes you, he tells you it was for research and that love is something he cannot understand. He also doesn't understand why you get so angry when he helped you return your intellect back. He still though has some sort of concept of empathy, because in his route when you choose to kill him and hide yourself away. He comes follow you and expresses that he's sorry and tells you a little about himself. He allows you free will, at this point, allowing you to leave him or stay with him.
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Mr. Gap
Mr. Gap always wants a piece of us, literally. Why does he? Because it's just for fun. The most interaction we get with him is through the multiple crevices within this world and the short route he gets in chapter 4. He takes but sometimes may give. However, he doesn't fail to be thoughtful. It's hilarious how in chapter 4 when he offers us a crowbar in exchange for your heart, you can just smack him for it with no consequences. He also likes to brag about himself to you which honestly is a little cute. With his ending Return, we only have him left in the 'other world'. Our comfort lies with him, although he may be a little annoying, he is the only one we have left. We maybe have become a little codependent on him, but maybe he likes that?
God his annoyed/disgusted face is so hilarious, do it again Mr. Gap! He seems to stick around with us mainly just for funsies and being nosy, and honestly, he is so real for that. But it seems he likes to stay around with us at least. In the return end he is with us, and continues to stay lurking, perhaps watching over us until he is needed. Quite handy am I right? Haha.
He is depicted as quite the gentleman, but also just as fun and teasing. There are times where he does help you with no charge, such as barging into his hole (the face he makes in that scene is hilarious). Again, when presented with beating him for your crowbar, he gets a little upset but, honestly still helps you out. He probably thinks violence is funny which is why he constantly still teases you by asking to take away your body parts. It's just too fun!
Someone had brought up to my attention that Mr.Gap tends to ask for parts that can be easy to part with as we progress. Asking for our feet, legs, and fingers instead, when he seems to still clearly prefer the heart over the other parts. He adjusts his request when he realizes we won’t give our heart.
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Mr. Chopped
Mr. Chopped is just a head; how can he possibly be or have anything romantic? Well, not necessarily to the level of Mr. Crawling but, we get to have a few small moments with him and spend some time with him. Since he is just a head, he can't help but need to rely on others. Of course, he has to be selectively about it because falling in the wrong hands devastates him.
Mr. Chopped when he gets forced into playing with the deer child, he seems happy to see a familiar face and calls us out to help him. Our poor baby was in trouble!
His ending head hunt is tragically sad but also bittersweet. MC cares so much about Mr. Chopped that she spends an eternity as an entity searching for a lost head, searching for Mr. Chopped who she failed to rescue.
During his own special route Mr. Chopped does his best to help us, but there is only so much a head can do. To make up for his lack of body though, he seems to be more expressive with his mouth and emotions. We get to take him to get a haircut and wash his hair. This seems pretty date like to me. Although our time was abrupt and short with Mr. Chopped. It makes me happy that we get this small, cute scene with him, which makes him much more lovable.
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Mr. Hood
Mr. Hood protects you from harm, and also heeds your commands. He also carries you around. He means no harm and is there to guide. He cares for your safety and seems to dislike anything dangerous or threatening towards him and others that he protects.
At the end of his route, he states how often you get in danger and takes you with him, telling you that he must protect you since you asked him to (referring to an earlier scenario when you asked him to stay with you, when you reunited with Mr. Crawling and the others, but he leaves). So I would assume he would always be by your side now eternally staying together and protecting you from danger when needed. How cute! Some people are into that. But personally, for me Mr. Hood felt more like a father/brother to me. Maybe it was because he was always willing to guide us? But some people are into the brotherly/fatherly type of men, and hey I don't judge.
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Mr. Machete
At first, I did not see the appeal to Mr. Machete, he seemed like a ghost that killed for boredom and most of the time we just followed him around aimlessly...WELL, after playing his route and letting it soak in my brain. That is entirely the whole point of his character. He is a ghost that had become bored because he had too much time on his hands and continues to search for his home. He is our tsundere dummy macho ghost, and honestly, I love that about him. He could've killed us again like how he tried earlier, but after that first attempt, he reluctantly allows us to follow him. It's funny how much he runs away if the odds are against him, and when he mocks us it's even more hilarious. Mr. Machete likes us if we are strong opponent for him, he even expresses that he thinks we are fun and likes us when we defeat Mr. Hugeface on our own.
Not going to lie, I fell for Mr. Machete right here. We were low on blood, and he just slices his hand, FEEDING us HIS BLOOD. Like OMG that was so hot, he opens our mouth forceful, and we drink his blood. He somewhat cares about us, to be doing all of that for us. After that we get a timed choice to stall or follow him. When you choose to stall he pauses with you and asks if you're okay and to catch up with him. For someone who had been reluctant and annoyed at us for following him, took a moment of his time to wait for you. He WANTED you to tag along with him. We then venture on with him aimlessly searching for his and our home. Torturing each other with our presences. But maybe, just maybe, they can slowly become that home together that they were searching for.
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Mr. Scarletella
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. At first, he appears to be just any ghost that wants to attack us. It took me a while to warm up to him because of so little we knew about him. I thought he wanted to take our name for fun/or collection, but then it's revealed that he knows us. That he harbors some sort of love and obsession for us and believes that we love him because of all the blood and bodies we "offered" him. In a twisted way, this situation is a cute and romantic misunderstanding. Mr. Scarletella fell in love with us for providing him many blood and bodies. He wants us to spend an eternity with him. He WANTS to spend an eternity with us. He invites us to this other world because perhaps he wants us to become a ghostly being just like him, or maybe he wants to have easier access to us (since his myth that he only appears on rainy days) to meet us. Although we didn't get to have as many interactions with him, that is what makes this love toxic. It is a parasocial love, he fell in love with us from afar. When you piece everything together with your dictionary the words he proposes to you sound like wedding vows when you give your name to him. Which make it all so more lovely, even if he takes our soul away.
(My translation/interpretation of the scene, where he asks for your name)
Chapter 2, Scene 24
Scarletella: "You found your name...?"
Scarletella: "Teach me your name." (ARF ARF WRARF)
Scarletella: "I want you." (YES PLEASE)
Scarletella: "Will you give your name?" (OF COURSE)
Scarletella: "Your name?" (👁️👄👁️)
*You give him your name here*
Scarletella: "I have your name."
Scarletella: "I have obtained you." (YES YOU DID, COME TAKE ME)
Scarletella: "Let's leave together." (ARF ARF WRARFFFFFFFF)
Scarletella: "I love you"
Scarletella: "And you love me."
Scarletella: "You gave it to me...Thank you" (I'LL GIVE YOU IT ALL)
Scarletella: "Forever/eternally together..." (YES SIR)
Scarletella: "Together." (ARF ARF WRARRF ARFA)
He is quite the romancer hehe. It seems like Mr. Scarletella has some form of concept when it comes to love, which is to be together forever, even if you end up as a blood pool. Together is together.
I find it interesting how his two endings: Scarletella and Scarlet Rain parallels each other so well. In the Scarletella ending, we (mc unknowingly) give our consent to being together forever with Mr. Scarletella, but we are still alive. When MC wakes up, she sees a clear umbrella on the floor and picks it up. I believe that we have now embodied or spirited the umbrella, spending eternity with Mr. Scarletella. He owns us now.
However, in the Scarlet Rain end he becomes ours, the umbrella stays red, and we still, eternally are together forever.
#文字化化#homicipher#mojibake#mozibake#mr crawling#mr chopped#mr silvair#mr gap#mr machete#mr scarletella#mr hood#homicipher analysis#homicipher thoughts#homicipher opinion#homicipher game
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lockedup!toji lovessss receiving letters from you. 💌
"Fushiguro, you got mail," one of the corrections officers would knock on his open cell door. Toji always had this smirk tugging at his lips when the guard said those words. Although it was only a mask for the thrum he felt in his heart. He would always be handed a nice little stack of letters, all from you. The envelopes would be different colors, pinks and reds and purples. You'd really put a lot of effort into these [mostly love] letters. Even going as far as buying the cutest stamps you could find. He would never admit it out loud—he'd rather choke— but Toji loves when you put those cute little Hello Kitty stamps on the letters. Toji didn’t seem like the type to care for stuff like that, but those letters? Oh, they meant everything.
His name would be written in your cute handwriting, Toji Fushiguro with a little heart next to it. Flipping over the letter, you'd alway put a cute sticker over the seal. Or a heart if you couldn't find a sticker you'd like. He never rushed to open them, though; instead, he’d take his time, flipping through the envelopes, savoring the sight of your adorable scribbles. Toji loved the scent of them, always smelling like the spritz of perfume you'd put on the paper (thank you for the idea, Grease). He loved it just as much as the lipstick kisses you'd put on every blank space of the envelope and letter. Even if you weren't much of a lipstick user, you made sure to keep some different shades in stock so you can send Toji kisses through the mail.
It was the highlight of his day, pulling open the envelope with a rare softness in his usually rough hands. Always being ever so careful not to rip the envelope or the sticker you so thoughtfully sealed it with. He’d sit on the edge of his cot, back resting against the cold cement wall, eyes scanning over your handwriting. Every curve of your letters, every word you wrote, he soaked in every little thing. You wrote about every little thing; what you ate, what you listened to, what you watched. Your little girlish gossip. Toji preferred to read multiple pages of you rambling on about whatever came to your pretty little head. Made him feel like he was with you again, sitting there babbling to him like you always did.
After reading through one of your letters for the first time, Toji would lean back, holding the paper loosely in his hand, a rare softness washing over his sharp features. His lips would curl faintly at the edges, almost like he could hear your voice through the words on the page. He’d trace over your little doodles in the corners—the hearts, the smiley faces, even the exaggerated stick figure versions of you and him. Toji wasn’t a sentimental man by nature, but these small things? They clawed their way into the part of his chest he thought was hardened long ago. Sometimes, the other inmates would glance his way, curious about what kept the infamous Fushiguro so quiet. He’d shoot them a glare that said, Mind your own damn business. No one dared ask questions.
Toji had a little ritual for your letters. After reading through them, he’d carefully fold them, put it back in its respective envelope, and tuck them into his pillowcase. It wasn’t much, but it kept them close to him, right where he could feel that connection even when he wasn’t holding the paper. Later, when the lights dimmed and the prison settled into its eerie quiet, he’d pull one out again, holding it under the faint glow of the moonlight seeping through the bars. It didn’t matter if it was the same letter he read last week or one you’d just sent—it still carried that same warmth.
"Y’know," he muttered to himself one night, voice low enough not to carry. "You’re making me soft, sweetheart." But he didn’t really mind. Those letters gave him something to look forward to, something worth counting down the days for.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆
y'all I wanna write more drabbles like thiss. Also I'm thinking... maybe some letters from Toji himself? Or from reader? both?? o.O lemme know bebecitas I wanna write what y'all wanna read!! xoxo
taglist ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ @psoycy (aka my favee)
#lockedup!toji#toji fushiguro#locked up toji#lockedup!toji au#animamii masterlist#animamii#toji au#fushiguro toji#toji x reader#toji fushiguro fluff#toji fluff#toji x you#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#jjk toji#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#fushiguro#criminal!toji#fushiguro toji x reader#fushiguro x reader#jjk fushiguro#jailbird!toji#jailbf!toji#prisoner!toji#toji fushiguro au
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a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:
paramount has come out in public support of israel
keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie
james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile
there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???
kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too
this is a complete and utter joke.
EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]
you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.
i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.
with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.
ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#.sbs3#yeah no i WILL be annoying about this#because what the fuck
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[ oh captain, my captain ] q. hughes
day 2 of kinktober (captain kink w/ quinn hughes)
➾ paring : Quinn Hughes x fem!reader
➾ summary : Quinn’s girlfriend calls him "Cap" after hearing the nickname come from his teammates, and Quinn reacts totally normally
➾ warning(s) : smut !! captain kink, light dom!quinn, nicknames during sex, oral (m receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), very slight hair pulling (blink and you'll miss it)
➾ author’s note : i am Not gonna lie … this has been living in a word doc unfilnished for months so i thought that this would be the perfect time to finish it and let it out to see the light of day. enjoy :)))
kinktober schedule
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When her boyfriend asked her a few weeks ago to accompany him to an event that the Canucks were holding, she was not looking forward to it at all. It's a very private event that the Canucks hold at the start of every season for new Canucks to get to know their new teammates and for returning Canucks to catch up. She's managed to be busy on this day for the past two years of their relationship so she didn't have to go, but she can't dodge the event any longer. Especially now that Quinn is captain.
The dress she bought for this event is stunning and she couldn't wait to wear it to the event. It's a sparkly navy blue number that hugs her curves. The thin straps hold up a plunging v-neckline that shows off her cleavage in a way that Quinn loves. There's a high slit in the skirt that goes about halfway up her thigh.
She feels like she could've dressed a little more modestly when she walks into the ballroom and finds that a lot of the women dressed in more high cut and full length gowns. She crosses her arms over her chest in an attempt to cover her exposed cleavage.
A couple of Quinn's teammates greet their captain as soon as the two of them walk into the large room decorated in blue, green, and white. She hears the nickname "Cap" thrown around as a few of the veteran Canucks greet him. That's a new nickname that catches her attention immediately.
The significant others of the teammates that greet Quinn greet her. She does her best to hold a conversation with the group of women but her eyes continue to shift toward her boyfriend in his suit. He has on one of his game day suits from last season that doesn't really fit him anymore so it hugs his arms and thighs nicely.
"Your dress is beautiful, by the way," Lexie Demko compliments. She turns her attention to Thatcher's wife. "I mean it. It's stunning. I guess it's to be expected for the captain's girlfriend to sparkle." The group of women laugh and she forces a smile.
Sometimes she questions if she should be the one leading this group of women because she's only 23 and still kind of young. It's one thing for Quinn to lead the Canucks because he's a natural leader and knew he was probably going captain this team one day. He's had a lifetime of experience because he's the oldest of three brothers.
She was kind of thrust into the role of lead WAG with his captaincy appointment last season. Her version of being a leader means being the one that plans the parties and plans the playoff attire. Making sure all the other wives and girlfriends are okay, making sure they catch their flights to make it to whatever city they're following their boyfriend or husband to so she can watch him play. It's no NHL team, but it takes up a lot of her time. Especially party and playoff jacket planning.
Quinn looks over at her and her brain immediately goes blank. He's still surrounded by his teammates, but he's looking at her like that. It should be illegal to look like that.
She excuses herself from the group of wives and girlfriends to approach her boyfriend. She tries not to feel tiny among a group of hockey players, but she is.
"Cap," she teases with a smile. "I'm kinda hungry so can we go grab something to eat?" Quinn's cheeks turn bright red at the use of his new nickname. His teammates snicker around him at his reaction.
All he can do is nod in response to her and grab her hand. He guides her away without a single word, but his cheeks remain tomato red.
She's rendered him speechless. All by calling him "Cap." Maybe she'll have to start doing that more often if this is how he reacts.
They grab a plate of food and head to their table. No one else is sitting at the table but she knows that it's her, Quinn, JT, JT's wife, Brock, Thatcher, and Lexie at the table. Their tablemates are still mingling amongst the players and coaches in the room while they sit and eat.
Quinn leans over to her and says softly in her ear, "I'm going to need you to not call me 'Cap' again while we're here."
"Oh," she breathes out. "So your teammates can call you Cap, but I can't?"
He presses his lips in a line and meets her eyes. "It doesn't sound sexy coming out of their mouths like it does yours," he mumbles. "So, please don't call me Cap or Captain while we're here or you'll find yourself on your knees in the bathroom helping me with my little problem."
A small smirk forms on her lips as she takes a bite of pasta. "It's not a 'little' problem, Quinn," she tells him. "It's a pretty big problem."
Quinn groans and rubs his hands over his face. "You're killing me," he groans. "Oh my God."
She giggles and takes another bite of pasta like the conversation isn't ruining the panties she has on under the dress. Quinn follows suit and begins to eat his plate of food.
Their tablemates join them a few minutes later with their own plates. She converses with Lexie and Natalie Miller while their husbands talk with Quinn and Brock. She laughs with them, but the entire time, she thinks about the little conversation she and Quinn had about calling him Cap or Captain.
She's absolutely trying it when they get home to see what kind of reaction she gets out of him when he isn't surrounded by his friends.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
They leave the event once Quinn gives a little speech to hype up his teammates. Tocchet also gives a speech once Quinn was done, but he needed to stay until he was done talking. He orders an Uber back to their Vancouver apartment before Tocchet is even done his speech so they can leave as soon as he's done.
The Canucks applaud their head coach for his speech and they make a break for the door before anyone can stop them. Quinn has her hand in his as they make their way outside. Their Uber is waiting for them when they exit the building.
Quinn slides in first and she follows him. One of her hands rests on his knee and she leans over to say, "You looked good while you were giving your little speech." She pauses for a beat. "Captain Quinn."
His head snaps in her direction. "What did I tell you-"
"Just wanted to see something," she giggles as she glances down at the growing bulge in his already tight pants. "And I see what I wanted to see." Her voice drops a couple of octaves so only he can hear. "Do you like when I call you Captain, Quinn?"
He gnaws on his bottom lip. "You're playing a very dangerous game right now," he warns her. "I'm not trying to ruin these pants."
She leans into him and says against his ear, "Then maybe you shouldn't like to be called 'captain' by your girlfriend." Her lips touch the swell of his ear as she talks. Quinn shivers under her lips before she pulls back to meet his eyes. She finds his usually bright eyes dark with lust.
She's not sure she's going to make it into the apartment if she keeps playing this game with him.
"You are ..." Quinn trails off with a smile and a shake of his head. She grins while he tries to find the words to say. "Something else." His fingers trace the slit in her dress, leaving goosebumps behind where he touches her skin.
The Uber comes to a stop two minutes later. She doesn't risk saying another word until they're in the building. The elevator is probably not the best place to say anything either.
Still, it doesn't stop her from poking the bear though.
"Captain Quinn Hughes," she pretends to think out loud. "Even after a year, it still roles off the tongue. Don't you think, Cap?"
"Oh my fucking God," Quinn groans as he turns to face his girlfriend.
Before she can react, Quinn cups her cheeks and pulls her into a hot kiss. He steps so her back is pressed against the wall of the elevator. She grips his jacket as he presses his chest completely against hers. Quinn shoves a thigh between her legs, moving the dress to the side so his thigh presses against her already damp core.
This is a side of Quinn she's pretty sure she hasn't seen in their two and a half years together. He's very particular about his touches and his movements. Slightly rougher with them as well. She might like this side of Quinn.
The elevator dings once it arrives at their floor. Quinn pulls back and grabs her hand as the doors slide open. "Let's go, pretty girl," he says to her, voice soft. "You need to help me with my not-so-little problem before it ruins these pants."
She giggles as Quinn leads her out of the elevator and down the hall to their apartment. It's a moment before Quinn gets the door open but once he does, he pulls her inside and pins her against the door to shut it.
Quinn holds her chin between his thumb and pointer finger. "I hope this dress didn't cost a lot," he says. "Because it might end up torn and on the floor tonight.”
“Quinn Hughes, you better not rip this dress because if you do, you’re buying me a new one,” she warns him. “I mean it too. You better not.”
He grins and hooks his fingers around the spaghetti straps that sits on her shoulders. “I guess I’ll be nice,” he sighs as he pulls the strap off her shoulders. Quinn's eyes fall to the fabric that he pulls down to expose her breasts.
There's about one second between when the fabric pools around her waist and when Quinn crashes his lips to hers in a heated kiss. Their lips mold against each other and his hands cup her breasts. She groans into the kiss and he takes full advantage to explore her mouth with his tongue.
She pulls his suit jacket off his body and it falls to the floor with a light thud. She pushes him toward their bedroom without breaking the kiss.
In the very short trip from their front door to their bedroom, she loses her heels and dress in the hallway while Quinn's tie ends up on the living room floor and his button up gets unbuttoned and untucked as they enter their bedroom. She jumps and wraps her legs around his waist. He kicks the door shut and walks toward their bed.
"What do you want me to do, Cap?" she questions between kisses.
"You know, every time one of my teammates calls me Cap, I'm going to think of you and it's going to end in endless teasing for me," Quinn points out as he sits on the mattress. He pulls back to look at her. "If my teammates mess with me because I get hard after one of them refers to me as Cap, it won't end well for you since it'll be your fault."
She feigns being hurt. "Ouch, Quinn," she says. "I guess I'll never call you Cap ever again."
"I didn't say that," Quinn very quickly replies. "Just letting you know what will happen."
“I’m so scared,” she teases.
“Shut up and get on your knees, pretty girl.”
His stern voice when he says that shoots straight down to her core. She bites her bottom lip as she slides off of Quinn’s lap and to her knees on the carpeted floor below her.
Her fingers work at unbuttoning his dress pants. She pulls them down along with his boxers. His hard dick stands up against his stomach when it’s free from the confines of his underwear. She takes him in her hand and looks up at him. She gnaws on her lip before she says, “Whatever you say, Cap.”
Quinn groans at the same time she wraps her lips around the fiery red tip. She tastes some precome that has leaked as she takes more of his dick in her mouth. His fingers curl in her wavy locks as she hollows her cheeks and sucks. She looks up at him as he throws his head back in pleasure.
"Fuck," Quinn breathes out. The reaction she gets out of him causes her to speed up her actions. Her hands are splayed over his thighs so she has something to hold on to. Not to mention that she just loves his thighs.
She manages to take all of him in her mouth without choking, and Quinn loves every second of it. He gnaws on his bottom lip and soft sounds rise from his throat. It's music to her ears as she takers him completely in her mouth and hums around him.
Quinn can't seem to get enough.
When her knees start screaming at her from being on the carpet for too long, she ignores it. What Quinn wants, Quinn gets. She's done this so many times that the pain doesn't get to her like it used to, but sometimes it .
She hollows out her cheeks and Quinn hums before he pulls her off his dick by her hair. She hums and looks up at her. His thumbs brush her probably swollen lips and she kisses the pads of his thumbs.
"Was that okay?" she questions like she always does after she sucks him off. Quinn raises his eyebrows at her and she grins. "Cap."
He nods and leans down to kiss her. His kiss is softer this time as he helps her back up so she's straddling his thighs. She runs her fingers through his styled hair and Quinn falls so he's lying on his back. His dick pokes her thigh and she wiggles her hips to tease him.
"These need to come off, pretty girl," he mumbles against her lips at the same time he taps the waistband of her panties. "I'm sure they're ruined at this point anyway."
She stands up to push the ruined fabric off her body. Quinn moves back so his head rests on the pillows. She presses her lips together in a line as she crawls back onto the mattress. She straddles his waist and leans over to press a long, deep kiss to his lips. Quinn hums and cups her jaw with his hands so she can't go anywhere.
Without breaking the kiss, she lifts her hips and rests the tip of his dick at her entrance. He slips right in because of how wet she is. A grin forms on her lips as she says, "Wanna ride you, Cap. Please."
"You don't need my permission, pretty girl," Quinn replies between hot kisses.
She hums as she lowers herself onto him. The familiar and welcomed stretch greets her. Quinn's hands land on her waist so she doesn't lose her balance. He bottoms out in her and she allows herself a few seconds to adjust before moving her hips.
The room is quickly filled with her soft moans as she rolls her hips. He helps her keep a steady pace that works for both of them. The kiss breaks but she doesn't go very far. Her forehead rests on his and her lips ghost his every time she moves.
Despite how they got here, she loves when she falls into bed with her boyfriend. No matter the reason, Quinn always focuses on both their pleasure. He makes sure that both of them feel good for however long they go.
Adding a little spice in the bedroom, like this captain thing that Quinn has going on right now, is one of her favorite things too. She's never against trying new things. She's not against this captain thing that he has going on.
Quinn starts moving his hips to match her pace. She groans and pushes herself up so she's sitting on his waist. She keeps her pace though. Her head is thrown back in pleasure and Quinn's hands roam her body.
"Fuck, baby," he breathes out. "You look so good riding my dick, pretty girl."
He moves one of his hands until he's rubbing her clit. She cries out his name and rests her hands on his torso. "Quinn," she gasps. "Oh my God." He stops. "Cap. Captain. Captain Quinn. Don't stop. Please." Those words pass her lips before her brain processes what she wants to say, but her end goal remained the same. Quinn continues rubbing her clit and she hums.
Her movements get frantic and inconsistent as she gets closer to her orgasm. Quinn wraps his arms around her waist and rolls them over so her head is on the pillow. He throws her legs over his shoulders and begins moving his hips.
The new angle has her legs shaking because his dick hits her favorite spot. She grabs his arms and cries out his name. "Oh my- fuck," she gasps. "Quinn, Quinn Quinn. Oh my God." He doesn't stop this time, but he slows down. "Cap, I'm so close. Please."
"Come for me, pretty girl," Quinn pants. "Want you to make a mess on my dick."
It's not very long after that when she comes. Her entire body clenches and she cries out Quinn's name so loud that their neighbors absolutely heard her. Her vision whitens and she's in cloud 9 from how hard she comes.
She's so out of it that she doesn't realize that Quinn pulls out and comes on her thighs. She has no idea that he cleans her up, only that he touches her sensitive core with a wet cloth. Her body melts into the mattress as she recovers.
When she comes to, Quinn is crawling back into bed. She musters up enough strength to turn her head and look at him.
"You okay?" he asks with a smile on his swollen lips. "Lost you for a moment."
She nods and rolls so she's curled up next to Quinn. "You really like when I call you Cap," she teases him. His cheeks turn red. "It's fine, Quinn. You don't need to get all flustered about it. If it's your thing, then it's my thing too. I wouldn't mind doing that again. It showed me a whole new side of you that I think I like."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm."
"Then we might have to do that again," Quinn tells her. "But please. For the love of everything, do not call me Cap or Captain around the team. It's going to take me a second to get over tonight, or get used to those words leaving your mouth."
She giggles and throws her leg over his waist so she's laying on his chest. "You say the word and I'll start using your nickname," she tells him. "Cap."
Quinn rolls his eyes, but she knows he loves it.
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MAIN MASTERLIST
wanna be added to the kinktober taglist ? fill out this form !!
taglist : @katie-the-bookworm @mommahughes19-23 @ceces-obsessions @Albertdancer @pucks-goals-penalties @justwanderingbutneverlost @alwaysclassyeagle @puckingtea @Zegrashughes @unicorns3993 @herbouqetbasement @beutylookinggood-blog @haechanslovey @this-ass-is-eikonic @scoupsdetyong @themotogirl @iclyj @devilsandpensfan @loveforaugust @estapa94 @flysdaleflyby @lunaloves9 @beez-86 @h0e4fictionalme-n @orphicdreamers-wp @onblubayou @goalsongspinkthongs
#hockey imagines#hockey imagine#hockey fanfiction#hockey fic#hockey oneshot#hockey smut#nhl imagines#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#nhl oneshot#nhl smut#quinn hughes#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes smut#👻 malia’s kinktober
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Can you please write how squid game men will react to having a crush on reader?
How Squid Game Men Would Having to a Crush on Reader (Season 2 Edition)
Pairing: Squid Game Men x GN!Reader (No pronouns used)
Warnings: fluff, mentions of drug, SFW, kinda stalking but not yandere or dark! themes
Author’s Note: Thank you so much for requesting I hoped you enjoy! I'm sorry guys I couldn't add Lee Myung-Gi, it reached the limit for gifs so I'm doing part 2.
Women's version and a continuation will be posted soon!
Want a request for a Squid Game character like this one? Check out my latest post, read my request guidelines and send a request!
Read on Wattpad & AO3 here

Seong Gi Hun
He thought that finding love or being attracted to someone was impossible after what he had been through
But when he saw you, it’s like seeing a past glance of his old self
Wants you on his team immediately
His social skills and personality he feels like has lost color, but would try just for you
Young-il
Thinks using the term “crush” is childish
He likes to use the word “fascinated”
Is always thinking of ways to talk to you
Is more smiley around you and asks you about your day
Thanos
Is lookin at you when he gets the chance to (Gettting breakfast or lunch)
Tries to come up with pick up lines for you, but ends up messing up (In which Nam Guy laughs and Thanos hits him)
Always rapping in front of you to seem cool
Has you by his side always and on his team
Doesn’t even want to take drugs because you’re considered to him his new addiction in a way
Kang Dae Ho
Once he realizes he has a crush on you, everything changes
He tries to not act so nervous around you, but he can’t help it
Stutters a lot when he talks to you
Has his jacket off a lot because he gets warm/flustered when thinking about you or when you’re around
Nam Gyu
Tries to act cool around you, but can't stop smiling around you
Thanos is hyping him up and would tease him about your crush
Is always fixing his hair before talking to you
Park Min-Su
Is shy as always, but around you is different
He likes you because you're the only in Thanos' group to actually treat him like a real person
Tries to muster up the courage to talk to you
Listens to you set up plans for the games because he loves hearing your voice
Hwang Jun-Ho
Tries to keep his chill persona up, but is nervous inside
Is always complimenting you how you look
Loves to give little subtle flirting hints but not too obvious
Salesman
Has a crush on you probably in the most unhealthy way, but still keeps his distance
Overhears what stuff you like and will buy it for you
Write down every thing you like and will remember
Will talk to you when he has the chance in the subway

Taglist:
@hobinistaworld, @swuzzin, @magicalconnoisseurcoffee, @dxrlingluv, @ninahorikoshifr, @ikeithy, @vampiregirlxoxoxo, @sassyyoyo, @cloudysxkura, @hollxe1, @ill-loveyouthroughthestars, @lovesickxmina, @basoressia, @61f1mazx, @chirikoheina, @creepyp-mp4
Navigation | Main Masterlist | Squid Game Masterlist | Squid Game Men Masterlist | Join my taglist!
#creamecafe#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game 2#squid game x reader#request#squid#squid game 2 spoilers#squid game fanfic#squid game netflix#squid game s2#squid game salesman#squid game season 2 spoilers#squid game spoilers#squid games#x reader#headcanons#headcanon#squid game headcanons#reading preferences#gi hun#seong gihun#gi hun squid game#gi hun x reader#seong gi hun#seong gi hun x reader#young il#young il x reader#frontman x reader#frontman x you
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Thinking about husband!Bakugo and wife!reader
Katsuki always pictured himself as a hero, yes. But when that became a reality, his life had no other purposes than to be the number one hero. Bear with me, he still wanted to be number one. But as he grew older he saw people around him settle and have a compromise between hero life and their private life. And by that I mean building a family. Kirishima was the first one to do so with Mina, soon followed by a lot of his friends. Even Deku at some point. And even if he sometimes loved being 'uncle Kats', he sometimes wishes he could hear that small laugh looking like his, or small eyes sparkling like yours.
For the first time ever, his wishes took another turn. He wanted to be father as much as he wanted to be the number one hero. If not even more.
And even if it took a while to get it off his chest, he wouldn't regret it for one second just to live this moment.
~
He was coming home after a long day of work, expecting to hear little screams and be met with the vivacity of his house. No, pure silence. It seemed strange to not hear small runnning footsteps towards the entryway and a little excited 'daddy !' coming from the living room.
He got his shoes off and started his investigation on where the people in his house was hidden. He first thought of one of their endless pranks which soon got denied by the sight next to the couch.
You were there, sleeping on the carpet with a little boy in your arms. His son, his first born of now three. And your hand rested on the edge of a rocking crib where his daughter of a little less than five months was sleeping peacefully too. She was sprawled out just like him when he sleeps and beneath her closed eyelids she shared the same red irises as him and her brother.
His son had his head nuzzled in your shoulder, being always so clingy to you in such a vulnerable state. And your cheek was smudged against the top of his spiky looking hair. You were drolling a little, your hair slightly messed up but right now you looked like the most beautiful creature that he got the whance to marry somehow. And that shimmering band on your finger was the proof of it.
He crouched down, carefully putting his gauntlets away. He studied you three for a very long time, never getting sick of it. He had build this... After years of only wanting to be a hero, he had build something greater. Something to go home to, to live for, to not be reckless for, to protect with all his strength. Because when he left in the morning, it was to those smiles and those faces he was fighting to come back to. He gently took out his phone, already filled to the brim with other frozen moments like this... of his family. He took a picture, his smile extending as he heard you mumbling his name in your sleep. He obviously put it as his new lockscreen, a new vision of his motiviation.
He'll bleed and fight for this and make all those streets sure for these three persons right in front of him. He kissed each of your faces carefully before silently going to cook dinner. Not without glancing at the baby photos hanging on the wall on his way out.
They were his copy, a fact you would often complain about. Being the one who "carried them for 9 months and got no credit on the appearence" as you liked to say. But he knew part of you adored to have little versions of him running around. And he was jealous of it, he wanted to have a mini you too running around.
But that would be for another day. Closer than you might know.
#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bnha#mha#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha bakugou#huband bakugo#fluff#family#bnha bakugou
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[12:57 pm] ♧ + showers w/ bf!jaehyun
the water from the shower head was the perfect temperature to help you decompress from the stressful week. the weekend finally arrived after countless meetings with representatives and numerous presentations you did for potential clients. the week took a lot out of you to say the least and to reward yourself, you decided to sleep in and take a steaming hot shower to bring you peace.
you were so focused on lathering your body with your loofa that you didn’t hear the door open ajar.
“love?” jaehyun’s voice caused you to jolt away from your thoughts and back to reality. jaehyun had decided to sleep in with you and when you woke up you tried your hardest to not wake him while you headed to the bathroom to take your shower.
“yes?~” you were standing there watching his movements from the corner of your eye, waiting for his response. he was stripping from his pajama pants and swiping on his phone. you mentally scolded yourself for not being more quiet, knowing that jaehyun needed the sleep.
the small speaker you both had in your bathroom started to play music from his playlist. as you stand facing the water, the shower door opens from behind you, letting in cool air. you turn to see his toned naked body climb in, closing the shower behind him and letting the steam cloud your vision. jaehyun reaches for you and immediately pulls you into his firm chest and kisses the top of your head.
“i swear, you always take the hottest showers,” his voice is an octave lower than normal and it’s clear that he just recently woke up, it’s your favorite version of him. so raw and untamed, reminding you that no matter how perfect he is, he’s still human. you look up at him, offering a soft smile.
“it helps calm my mind,” you wiggle out of his embrace and begin to work the soapy loofa into his chest, careful to not let your gaze avert to lower than his v-line which is always harder than you think, his happy trail leading to one of your favorite places on his body.
“i don’t wanna smell like your fruity body wash.” he’s giggling as he frantically tries to grab the loofa from you, succeeding almost immediately.
“well, i figured that you wanted me to help you get clean considering you’ve hijacked my shower.” you laugh only half joking. as much as you love showering with jaehyun you had your mind set on a meditation shower alone.
“can you blame me? i’ve been yn deprived all week. i’m putting myself in your schedule wherever i can.” he’s pulling you closer yet again, his grip tighter than the last time. “i’ve missed you.”
“i’ve missed you too, jae.” you blow out a huff of air as you shut your eyes. “you have no idea.”
jaehyun’s hands traveled from your waist down to your ass, giving it a small squeeze. the kiss he plants on your lips is needy and hungry, as if you were the meal he’s been waiting to have all week. your arms wrapped around his neck as you sunk into his touch, getting completely lost in the kiss. your moan was almost inaudible but he heard it and he smirked against your lips. jaehyun knows exactly what he’s doing to you.
“why don’t i show you how much i missed you, love?”
it didn’t take long for you to think that maybe this is the kind of meditation shower you needed.
#nct smut#nct 127#nct#nct imagines#nct x reader#nct fanfic#nct fluff#nct 127 fluff#nct u#jaehyun#nct jaehyun#jung jaehyun#jaehyun x you#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x y/n#bf!jaehyun#nct hard hours#i miss him#i wanna shower w/ him so badddd omgg
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Red Dress - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)
Summary: It's time for the annual trip to the mountains to celebrate Christmas with the Parks. That including the human version of a headache, their son - Park Seonghwa. You've never gotten along, you'd even go so far to call him your worst enemy. But something happens on the trip, something neither of you can explain. It leads both you and Seonghwa into unknown territories, but one thing is for sure. It's all thanks to the red dress.
Word count: 20.6K
Genre: Fluff (!!) enemies to lovers, smut (yall.. seonghwa in this one... WOOOH it's getting hot in here)
warnings: "Enemy" Seonghwa with fem reader (fem pronouns). Hwa's mother has passed away, calls reader "sunshine", Seonghwa is a tease and he loves it, Hwa is a D-O-M, messy blowjob, fingering, dirty talk, unprotected sex, aftercare (he's so sweet please), lmk if I missed anything!
This is all for fun and is not meant to represent Seonghwa in any way.
You zip your last bag, trying to gather some kind of overview. Your main luggage bags and two smaller bags filled to the brim. You made sure to pack thoroughly. It would be dreadful to forget something important while staying in the mountains, with the possibility of being snowed in.
A quick buzzing sound came from your phone, your hands grabbing it from your back pocket. You don’t even realize the deep sigh escaping between your lips as you read the name on the screen, somehow you hear the annoyance in the simple text.
Seonghwa i’m here
You type back, wanting him to elaborate.
You at the main entrance?
Seonghwa no i’m on top of the building i just landed my helicopter
yes i’m at the main entrance
You 2 minutes
You roll your eyes as you throw your phone on the bed, looking around your apartment for the last few things to pack. The next few hours are gonna be horrific, being squeezed in your car with the human version of a headache.
Park Seonghwa.
Despite the two of you not being able to get along, your families do, and they use every possible opportunity to do things together. The annual cottage trip to the mountains for Christmas is no exception. His dad and his sister are all very nice people, watching over you like your own family. His mom was also the kindest woman you’ve ever known, but she sadly passed away six years ago due to sickness. When you were kids, everyone got along just fine. Not the best, because you still thought Seonghwa was teasing you a lot, but it was still manageable. But after his mom’s passing, your relationship with Seonghwa got even worse.
You never spoke to him about her, because you were simply not that close, but that just resulted in you and him not getting along at all. He got more snarky, which resulted in you getting more snarky.. And now whenever you two spoke, it was always with a hint of teasing and/or mockering.
You jug to the door as a knock echoes through your apartment, and you open up to see Seonghwa looking unsatisfied on the other side. You can already hear him complain about having to walk up a few sets of stairs, so you turn around before he opens his mouth.
“I’ll be ready in a second.” You say as you walk away, hearing him close the front door as he enters your apartment.
“Take your time, it’s not like we’re the only ones who aren’t there yet.” Seonghwa mumbles sarcastically, loud enough for you to hear and you bite your tongue before something slips out.
You try your best to carry most of your bags to the front door where Seonghwa is waiting, arms crossed over his chest. He’s still wearing his boots and bomber jacket, not showing any signs that he’s willing to help you carry your stuff. His hair is annoyingly perfectly set, despite it being 7 in the morning like he had all the time in the world to get dressed.
“You know we’ll only be gone for two weeks, not a year, right?” He asks as you put down the bags on the floor in front of him.
“Seonghwa, it’s 7 in the morning. Can you at least wait until the sun is up to be a pain in my ass? How are you awake right now?” You can’t stop the words from leaving your mouth when you glance at him.
“I’m an insomniac, this is normal.” He shrugs his shoulders.
You’re not in the mood to continue the conversation so you go back for the last bag, carry it to the front door and Seonghwa (thankfully) helps you carry the bags down the stairs and to your car. His luggage is waiting in the lobby, he probably didn't want to carry it to your floor after traveling with it to your apartment building.
Both of your families left for the cottage yesterday, but you and Seonghwa had to wait a day to travel because of busy schedules, and at the end of the day, it was just easier to travel together. You and Seonghwa agreed to take your car to the cottage, so you walk outside where your car is parked, and Seonghwa lunges your bags into the trunk.
“Holy shit, what did you put in this bag? A dead body?” He complains and you throw in your bags in the backseat. You open the door to the driver's seat, but look back at him as he loads the trunk.
“If we’re gonna make it through this trip, you have to stop being ironic in every sentence.” You get in the car and turn it on, hurrying to heat up the vehicle. Fog leaves your mouth as you speak, and you rub your hands to create some warmth.
“Fine,” Seonghwa simply answers before closing the trunk and making his way to the driver's seat where you are sitting. “Get out.” He looks down at you with the unreadable expression he always wears, and you scoff.
“Out? It’s my car?” You state, almost like a question.
“Yes, but I’m driving.”
“Give me one good reason”
“Well, it’s 7 in the morning and you’re not a morning person, your road rage gets 50 times worse in the morning, especially when the roads are slippery. So you should take this as me doing you a favor. Now move.” Seonghwa cocks his head towards the passenger seat, confidently standing in the door to the driver’s seat, leaning up against the car. His face is hard to read, but every word he spoke had a truth behind it. Despite you and him not getting along, you’ve grown up close together, resulting in you knowing almost everything about each other.
A deep sigh leaves you as you step out of the car, not wanting to admit how he’s right.
“You have a lot of nerve talking like you’re the one owning this car.” You say as you enter the passenger seat, getting comfortable.
“I just want you to be my passenger princess, is that too much to ask?” Seonghwa sends you a smirk before driving the car away from your apartment complex, and you’re headed to the cottage where both of your families are waiting for your arrival.
A couple moments in silence pass, and the city starts to wake up as the sun brightens up your surroundings. Generic Christmas music plays on the car radio, a channel that has played ‘Last Christmas’ and ‘All I Want For Christmas’ nonstop since the middle of November.
“Is your sister coming?” You ask, looking out of the window to your side.
“Not this year. Her boyfriend offered her to celebrate Christmas with his family.” Seonghwa’s focus stays on the road as he answers.
Seonghwa’s sister is two years older than him, but you and her have always gotten along well. One of your fondest memories with her was when you were kids and forced Seonghwa into their mother’s clothes, and you and his sister used him as a canvas to test your makeup skills. That was the time when everything was fun and everyone got (somewhat) along.
Not like now.
“Have you gotten better at skiing or do we get that atrocious fall again?” His voice has a tease to it as he glances over at you beside him.
“It was a year ago, and it wasn't my fault.. I’ve gotten better.” You sound confident as you look over at Seonghwa who has an eyebrow raised suspectfully. On your last trip to the cottage with the Parks, you fell while skiing, which resulted in you being unable to walk for the rest of the trip. You promised yourself to never let that happen again.
“Oh yeah? You’ve been practicing?” He has a smug smile on his lips as he talks.
“I’m better than you, we both know that.” A smile creeps up on your lips, doing your best to annoy him. A scoff leaves Seonghwa before he presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek, and you know you said the right thing.
“That almost sounds like a bet.” He says.
“And what if it is?” You ask daringly, up for a challenge.
Yes, you and Seonghwa knew how to bicker, but what could make you both excited was a competition. Anything from board games to extreme sports, you love competing with each other. Or hate it. Love to hate it.
Seonghwa smiles with his annoyingly straight teeth, looking over at you for a second to see if you’re serious, before nodding. “Then I hope you’re okay with losing,” He answers confidently. “What’s the challenge?”
“Who gets down the slope first. Easy.” You shrug.
“What color are we talking?”
“Black, of course.” You try to read his expression, challenging him to ride the most dangerous hill on the mountain.
“Black? You remember the black slope on the mountain, don’t you? You wanna race down from that?” There’s something unsure about his voice, but it only makes you want to continue going through with this bet.
“Are you scared?” You tease, looking at him with a smile. Knowing Seonghwa your entire life, you know exactly what buttons to press to get your way, and when a confident chuckle leaves his body, you know this bet is on.
“Alright, sunshine, let’s do this.” He smirks, looking at you briefly.
“Anything you wanna bet?” You ask, trying to hide your excitement that he fell into your trap and agreed to this.
Seonghwa takes a few seconds to think, tapping the steering wheel before he speaks. “The loser will do what the winner says for an entire day.” He suggests.
Somehow you expected this penalty, so you roll your eyes as a scoff leaves you. “Boring, but fine,” You say before looking over at him. “I can’t wait to make you my little puppy.” A huge smile decorates your lips at the thought of Seonghwa in the palm of your hand for 24 hours.
He has a big smile on his lips as he leans back in the driver's seat, getting comfortable.
“Keep telling yourself that, sunshine. I already have some things in store for you.” He doesn’t even look at you while talking, but he’s wearing his confident smirk as he speaks like he’s imagining what he’ll make you do if he wins.
You can’t wait to remove that cocky smile.
***
After a few hours of driving, you finally arrived at the cottage. There had been a delay due to some accidents on the road. The further you made it to the mountains, the slippier the roads got, resulting in a few accidents. Luckily, there were no big accidents, and you and Seonghwa made it safely to the cottage.
Your family greeted you, as well as Seonghwa’s dad.
As you mom helps you take off your jacket, she sends you the warmest smile and tells you that your room is on the first floor, which you will be sharing with Seonghwa.
“Thanks, mom.” You send her a smile back and look around the cottage. It looks the same as always. The fireplace is heating up the entire living room, and Christmas stockings for each person hanging over it, including Seonghwa’s sister and mom. There’s a smell of cinnamon hanging in the air as you grab your stuff and head upstairs to unpack. The long hallway with three doors leads you to your room, and you know your room is at the end of the hallway. You pass the closed door to Seonghwa’s room and a bathroom, already excited to have a shower in the huge shower stall.
As you step into your room, you notice that it has the same warm tones as the rest of the house, giving off a cozy feeling. The room is furnished with a massive bed, and at the end of the room, there is a large window that provides a breathtaking view of the mountains. On the bedside table, there is a lit-up candle, adding to the room's warm and inviting atmosphere.
You throw yourself on the bed, happy to finally be at the cottage.
This is gonna be a good trip.. hopefully
***
“Last chance to back down, sunshine.” Seonghwa looks at the slope in front of him before looking at you. A confident smile spreads on your lips, knowing you’ll win this one.
“Over my dead body, Seonghwa. I’m so excited to have you wrapped around my finger for a day.”
It was your first official day at the cottage, and of course you and Seonghwa had to settle your little bet, trying to figure out who was best down the mountain.
“You’re a lot of talk, no bite. Let’s see how your mouth runs when you’re going to be my servant for an entire day.” He sends you a smirk. Your eyes roll back, used to these comments.
“You always claim to be a gentleman. Is this how you normally speak to girls? No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.”
“They wouldn’t be able to handle me. Only you can.” The smirk is still evident on his lips. “Besides, I am a gentleman. In fact, I’ll even let you get 10 seconds as a head start.”
You try to read his face to see if he’s kidding, but when it looks like he means what he says, you scoff. “You’re gonna regret that.”
“I never regret anything when it comes to you.”
You both stare into each other’s eyes for a long second, and this only make you more excited. You love winning. Even better when you win over him.
“I’ll see you down there.” You send him one last smile before making your way down the mountain. You use your poles to help increase the speed, using every opportunity to get down the mountain first.
10 seconds isn’t a lot, but if you use them well, this win would be even easier. Wind rushes in your ears, snow flying as you go side to side down the slope. You don’t look back, not wanting to focus on Seonghwa behind you, so you stay in your own head, doing your best to come down as fast as possible.
You feel your legs burn in the best way, having missed this feeling.
The feeling of being free and no one telling you to stop. The wind blows faster as you move quicker down the slope, following the trail. Suddenly, you see a figure, and lo and behold, Seonghwa is next to you. You can’t see his face due to his helmet, but you bet he's sending you a smile behind the glass. He sends you a wave before he passes you on his snowboard, and suddenly he’s in the front.
Your poles help you increase the speed even more, and you bend your knees to go even faster. Further down, you start to see the finish, and despite being behind Seonghwa, you still have a chance. He moves quick and even manages to be slightly daring on the way down, but you can take him.
You’re sure of it.
Well, that’s until a kid suddenly falls in front of you, and you quickly have to make your way around them. You make a turn, a little too sharp, and pass the kid lying in the snow. The last thing you see is Seonghwa reaching the bottom of the slope before you fall forward and roll a few meters in the snow. Confused, you lay still for a few moments, trying to gather what just happened. All you see is white from the snow until a figure comes into sight.
“Are you okay?” Seonghwa’s concerned voice suddenly speaks, and you look up to see him hurry to you. You try to move, realizing you’ve somehow lost both of your skis in your fall.
“I’m fine, ow.” A sharp pain shocks through your leg, starting from your ankle. The pain is enough to suddenly send a stinging feeling in your eyes, tears slowly forming.
“Is this how you make me feel bad for winning?” Seonghwa tries to help you up from the snow, grabbing you under your arms.
“It doesn’t count, I fell. We should try again to see- OW!”
Another sharp pain shocks you, even worse than before, and you give up trying to get up this way. You sit up, no visible injuries, only the pain in your ankle.
“Can you stand up?” He asks, looking down at you.
“I’m not sure.”
“Get on my back.” Seonghwa moves in front of you, kneeling down so you can jump on his back. You shake your head, not wanting to admit how bad your ankle hurts.
“No, it’s fine.” You try to stand up, but wince when the pain only gets worse.
“Can you stop being stubborn and let me help you? Get on my back.” His voice is serious, and it’s clear you won’t get it your way. You do your best to get on his back without putting too much pressure on your leg, and he stands up with you. He holds you under your knees while your arms hold around his neck. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah..”
He manages to get you to a bench, and after a few moments of him checking up on you, looking for any visible damages, it’s clear that the pain in your ankle is getting worse. You (or more like Seonghwa) make the decision not to ski anymore, so he ends up carrying you to the cottage.
You feel grateful on Seonghwa’s behalf that it’s close to the ski resort so he won’t have to carry you too far. Both of you still in your ski clothing, you know everything is heavier than normal.
And despite you telling him that it’s fine and that you can call for someone else to help you, he acts like he doesn’t hear you and continues to carry you home.
Not a word is said between you, he makes his way inside the cottage with you on his back. He helps you out of your jacket and ski pants, so you’re left with your long-sleeved shirt and leggings. He quickly takes off his own ski clothing before suddenly carrying you bridal style, making his way to the stairs.
Your arm encircles his neck as he carefully walks up the stairs, ensuring your foot doesn't touch anything.
“You don’t have to do this.” You almost whisper.
“I know.” He responds, seeing the door to your room. He walks in and puts you on the bed softly. You wince when you move your ankle, and Seonghwa notices immediately. “Where does it hurt?”
“My ankle, and down to the heel.” You point exactly where it hurts, and he looks at your foot before grabbing his phone from his pocket.
“I’ll be right back,” Is the only thing he says before he makes his way out of your room and you hear him walk down the stairs. You have no idea what he’s doing or what you’re waiting for. You just use this moment to be thankful that you didn’t get hurt anywhere else.
After a few minutes, you hear Seonghwa’s voice get closer as he makes his way up the stairs. You hear him talking on the phone.
“Yes.. Alright. No, it looks a little swollen. Okay, thank you.” He appears at your door with some ice in a towel and walks closer to your bed. He sits down by your legs and places the ice on your ankle. “Here, keep this on for 15 minutes and then off for 15 minutes. Then repeat as much as possible.”
“Who’d you talk to?” You ask.
“I called the local doctor. If it gets worse you have to do a checkup, but for now, you just have to rest. Try not to walk on your foot, so call for me if you need anything.” He looks at you briefly before standing up. You’ve never seen this side of Seonghwa before, and having him take care of you like this, is making you feel something strange in your stomach.
You look up at him from the bed, not knowing what to say. “Thank you.” You barely whisper.
He sends you a quick and awkward smile before he turns around and walks out of your room. He closes the door behind him, and you realize you’re stuck in bed after a fall, just like last year. You sigh, annoyed that this happened, but there isn’t much you can do about it.
Laying in your bed, you suddenly feel your eyes getting heavier. It isn’t like you have anywhere else to go, so you use this opportunity to close your eyes and take a nap. It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep, and you allow yourself to sleep until you wake up.
***
It’s still bright outside when your eyes open, but when you look at the clock on your nightstand, you realize that you’ve been sleeping for a few hours. You don’t hear a sound from the rest of the house, and you wonder if Seonghwa left or if he’s asleep as well.
There’s still a sharp pain in your ankle, the ice has melted a bit. You sigh and look around the room. There isn't much to do when you’re stuck here. But the dryness in your mouth tempts you to leave your bed and get something to drink.
You know Seonghwa said to call for him if you needed anything, but a quick run to the kitchen couldn’t cause any more damage to your ankle, right? Besides, maybe he’s sleeping, and you don’t want to wake him up.
You manage to get out of bed, limping down the silent hallway. Thankful for the staircase, it helps you take it slow and hold you as you make your way down the stairs. It does hurt when you put pressure on it, but not as much as the fall last year.
Finally, you make your way to the kitchen. It’s a little cold down here, so you want to prepare something hot. Drinking hot drinks after skiing reminds you of when you were younger. The feeling of the warmth running through your body and-
“What part of ‘call me if you need anything’ didn’t you understand?” Seonghwa’s voice makes you jump and you look behind you to see him enter the kitchen.
“I was just getting something to drink.” You mumble, standing by the cabinet to get a mug.
“You can’t walk on your foot.” He sounds like an annoyed dad as he finds a stool and places it by the kitchen island. He cocks his head towards the stool and you sit down on it. He’s showing a very bossy side of himself, and you’re not sure how to respond to it.
“I made it down here, didn’t I?” You mumble mostly to yourself, but he hears and sighs deeply.
“It’s not gonna heal if you walk,” He makes his way to the fridge and looks inside. “What do you want?”
“Hot cocoa.”
He looks back at you. “You couldn’t have said water?” His brow shoots up, looking slightly annoyed, but you shake your head.
“You asked what I want and I want hot cocoa.” Your voice is talking at a low volume, and you’re sure that if you were a dog, your ears would be hanging low and your tail would be between your legs. Seonghwa takes a second to think for himself, watching you before another sigh leaves him.
“I guess I’m making you hot cocoa then.” He tilts his head to the side before grabbing a mug and finding the ingredients to make you some hot cocoa. You don’t say much as he prepares it, enjoying seeing him do something like this for you.
“I thought since I lost our bet that I was being your servant for the day.” You tease, trying to fill the heavy air with some conversation.
“Well, that was before you decided to fall and make yourself useless,” He looks back at you and sends you a teasing smirk. “Besides, I’ll just save it for another day. Don’t think I’ll forget, sunshine.”
You can't help but smile at his teasing. Usually, you want to rip his hair out, but right now, you're actually enjoying being in the same room as him.
He’s making your hot cocoa, and you feel slightly useless, sitting and staring at him. The couch is in your sight, so you step down from the stool, but as soon as your (healthy) foot touches the floor, Seonghwa’s eyes are on you. He stares at you as you freeze, scared you’ve done something wrong.
“What?” You ask.
“Where are you going?” He’s quick to ask back.
“To the.. couch, if that’s okay with you?”
Seonghwa doesn’t waste a second, dropping the tablespoon on the counter, taking you up bridal style again, and walking towards the couch.
“Seonghwa, you don’t have to do this,” You know saying it won’t make him stop. He’s as stubborn as you. He carefully puts you down on the couch, raising your leg so it rests on the extended part of the couch before he runs back to the kitchen. He appears a few seconds later with your hot cocoa in hand and places it on the table in front of you. “Thank you.”
“Anything else?” He asks, standing up in front of you. You look behind him at the TV, your eyes catching the remote lying on top of a shelf behind him.
“The remote..” You point.
He hands you the remote. “Alright.. If I see you walking by yourself again I’ll chain you to the couch, understood?” He looks you deep in the eyes, and for some reason, you almost think he’s serious.
“Yes, sir.” You say teasingly, and he scoffs at you before disappearing again with a smile.
A smile that looks dangerously good.
***
Every year you go out to have dinner at the fancy restaurant in the city close to the cottage. But due to your little stunt on the mountain yesterday, you all had to go for dinner today, as you couldn’t possibly use your foot. But it’s already getting better, and it isn’t as swollen as yesterday, so you felt even more ready for a nice evening out.
Maybe all the carrying from Seonghwa did help after all.
It’s also a fun excuse to dress up for a night and eat delicious food, so you remembered to pack the fancy dress you bought for this special occasion. A maroon-colored dress with a bare back, dropped shoulders and it hugs your body perfectly, ending on the middle of your thighs. You look in the mirror one last time before making your way downstairs to the others. It’s fun to see your parents in their fancy attire, looking like they just fell in love with each other again.
You smile to yourself as you look around and immediately notice a set of eyes staring you down.
Seonghwa is leaning against the back of one of the couches, adjusting the cuffs on his shirt as his gaze falls on you. You can't help but smirk in response. His eyes meet yours, and you can't resist glancing down at his attire.
He is in his black blazer with black pants, but instead of a regular button-down underneath, he is wearing something a runway model would wear. A white silk shirt with ruffles and lace is showing under his jacket, and no part of you is surprised by his choice of clothes. Whenever he can wear something a little different, he will, and he always pulls it off.
Is he the biggest pain in the ass? Absolutely.
Is he also very attractive? Oh, absolutely.
It’s actually irritating how beautiful this man is, but no way in hell you would ever tell him that. He knows he looks good, no need to boost his ego.
You decide to look away from him before you make yourself too obvious, as you get the sense that it’s time to leave soon. You decide to wait outside by the door as you’re waiting for the two families to leave. Suddenly, a presence is standing next to you, but you don’t need to look to see who joined you.
“Like what you’re seeing?” You ask teasingly, not even sparing him a glance.
“You look like my dream girl.” Seonghwa says confidently as he steps in front of you, looking down into your eyes.
His tall frame takes up most of the space in your sight, and you look up to meet his dark eyes. For some unknown reason you feel your heart beating faster, and it only increases when he puts some hair behind your ear.
“Really?” You manage to get out.
“I never said what kind of dream,” he says, slowly leaning in to whisper in your ear. “You’re my fucking nightmare.”
Seonghwa leans back to send you a wink along with a smirk before turning around to walk away and enter one of the cars waiting outside, leaving you behind, baffled. You almost want to laugh at how ridiculous he is, mentally cursing yourself for showing a slight reaction to his words. You brush off the feeling inside you and you enter another car waiting outside to take you to the restaurant in the city.
You all drive for a few minutes, each family in each car, before entering the city with Christmas lights hanging everywhere. The restaurant is also decorated outside with lights, a group of Christmas carols singing on the other side of the street.
It’s not like you’re from a rich family that goes to expensive restaurants a lot, but this was a tradition you’ve always shared with the Parks, so you would of course do it again this year.
A male waiter follows you to your table, and you notice it’s a rather busy night, not seeing a single empty table. Christmas lights are decorating the ceiling, as well as generic Christmas instrumentals fill the air. A table for five comes into view with lit-up candles, and you find your way to the end. Your parents are busy talking with Seonghwa’s dad, laughing at something that happened before you arrived earlier today, leaving you in your own world. The waiter hands out a menu for you, and you can’t help but notice how his eyes linger on you for a few seconds, his dimples showing when you make eye contact. You can’t help but smile back at his warm eyes, feeling the heat in your cheeks. He disappears again after having handed out the menus to the rest of the table, and you look across the table by chance and notice how Seonghwa’s eyes are staring at you.
Something you can’t read is evident in his gaze, but you choose to quickly shoot your eyes to the menu. For some unknown reason, Seonghwa is making looking at him harder than usual, and you can’t exactly pinpoint what it is.
A few moments pass, and the waiter comes back to take everyone's orders. He saves you for last, sending you a warm smile.
“And what can I get for you, miss?” His dimples even show when he’s talking.
“I’m torn between the smoked salmon and the scallops.. Do you have a recommendation?” You send him a smile.
“Ohh, that’s a tough one.. Personally, I would be in for salmon, so that would be my choice. But that depends on you, of course.” He smirks, trying to continue the casual talk between you. You’re too lost in your conversation with him, figuring out what to eat, to realize the piercing eyes across from you. Seonghwa’s eyes shoot between you and the waiter, for some reason feeling annoyed with him.
You end up choosing the smoked salmon, and handing him back the menu. A wink is sent in your direction before he makes his way to the kitchen. Casual talk then spreads across the table. Mr. Park looks in your direction, wanting to hear how you’ve been doing since the last time you spoke.
“I’ve been doing very well, Mr. Park, thank you for asking.” You respond to the kind man across the table.
“That’s good! And you’re still enjoying your job?”
"Definitely. It is a bit far away though, so my car is very necessary. But it is having a hard time driving, especially in the winter months, so I’m considering saving up for a new car or finding a job a bit closer.” You answer, your parents adding to the conversation and carrying it on.
“Maybe you should ask the waiter what he thinks you should do.” Seonghwa says across from you, low enough not to cause any attention to him from the rest of the table, but you hear him loud and clear.
Your eyes glare at him, but he only responds with an annoying smile. You roll your eyes, trying to focus on the conversation between your parents.
A few moments later your food arrives, and the salmon is placed in front of you. You all start eating, and you do your best to ignore the eyes looking at you from time to time across the table.
Giving him attention will only make it worse, you think.
“How are you enjoying the salmon, miss?” A voice speaks behind you, and you look up to see the waiter sending you another smile. Cheeks heating up again, you do your best to answer confidently.
“It’s really good, definitely the right decision.”
“I’m glad, personally it’s my favorite item on the menu.” He tells you.
“I totally understand why, the greens on the side really complement it as well.” You add to the conversation. The kind waiter is about to answer when a voice interrupts.
“Waiter?” Seonghwa’s voice cuts through, stealing your attention. “I ordered my steak to be medium-well, this steak is cooked medium-rare.” He points at his food, eying the waiter.
An apologetic expression spreads on the waiter's face. “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’ll take it back to the kitchen for you.” He sends Seonghwa the best smile he can manage, before disappearing into the kitchen with Seonghwa’s food.
“Why did you do that?” Your eyes are locked on Seonghwa, trying to speak in a low voice so you won’t draw attention.
“I just want what I ordered.” Seonghwa shrugs before bringing his wine glass to his lips.
“There’s no need to be an ass about it.”
A smirk tugs on Seonghwa’s lips. “Aww, I’m sorry.. Am I making it hard for your boyfriend?”
“What is wrong with you?”
"What do you mean?" He asks.
"Would it kill you to see me be just a little happy?"
A scoff leaves his mouth. “Welcome to the real world. Maybe you’ll notice how everything isn’t perfect, sunshine.”
You want to reach across the table and rip that annoying smile off his face. Everything inside of you is boiling, even looking at him is making you feel insane. It takes everything in you not to say something rude because you’re all adults here (even if some aren't acting like it) and you want this trip to have good memories.
You grab your wine glass and gulp down the last bit before heading to the bathrooms. 5 minutes away from Seonghwa would be enough not to scream at him.
Luckily it isn’t filled with people in the bathroom, letting you get some time to breathe for yourself.
You knew Seonghwa had gone through a hard time the last few years since his mom died, so you somehow always had an apology for him in your head, why he was acting like he was. But he was going personal tonight, and you didn’t know why. It wasn’t an excuse to be an asshole.
You saw the rage in your eyes as you looked at yourself, but suddenly, your attention was stolen by the door opening to the bathroom. Seonghwa’s large frame entered the room, your eyes rolling at the sight of him.
“Did I say something to trigger you?” He spoke in a low voice.
“You do that all the time, Seonghwa. Don’t act like this is any different.” You didn’t spare him a glance as you spoke, keeping your eyes on yourself in the mirror.
“You haven’t walked away like that since I said your hair looked as fried as a burnt fry at McDonald's.” He calls back to a moment a few years ago when you were also fed up with his teasing. It wasn’t even that deep of a comment, you were just not feeling it that day.
“I guess I’m not in the mood for this right now.” You respond with a lower voice. Through the mirror, you look to see if any of the stalls are taken and if anyone is listening to your conversation. It doesn’t look like it. “Also, you’re in the women's bathroom. You can’t be here.”
“Well, I upset you and wanted to talk it out.”
A part of you wants to laugh. Never have those words left his mouth.
“How mature of you.”
“I’m sorry.” His footsteps are coming closer to you, and suddenly you see him in the mirror behind you. He actually sounds like he’s apologizing, and not saying this mockingly. It catches you off guard for a few seconds, but you make eye contact with him through the mirror. He’s watching you carefully like he’s afraid to say something else to upset you.
“Didn’t think you were capable of apologizing.” You want to joke, but the air between you is too heavy.
“Maybe you’ll learn some new things about me on this trip.” He says with his hands resting in the front pockets of his pants.
“Maybe.” You shrug, finally turning around towards him. “If anything, you should apologize to the waiter.” You can’t help but feel sorry for the waiter, having to run around because of Seonghwa.
“I don’t care about the waiter.” His voice is cold.
“And you care about me?” You say with a laugh, expecting him to say ‘no’ immediately, but when silence surrounds the two of you, you suddenly don’t know what to say. His eyes are just watching you, studying your face and it makes you feel a certain way you haven’t felt before. A feeling you can't pinpoint what is.
“You know what this dress needs?” He suddenly says, completely changing the subject.
“What?”
“A necklace.” He looks down on your bare neck.
You know this dress calls for a necklace, and you mentally cursed at yourself when you realized you had left your bag of jewelry on your desk. Luckily, that is the only thing you’ve forgotten (hopefully).
“I forgot all of my jewelry at home.” You shrug.
His eyes focus on your neck for a short moment before he reaches behind his own neck. Suddenly, a necklace you didn’t know he was wearing came into sight and he held it out in front of him. A silver necklace with white pearl pendants.
“Turn around.”
You shake your head. “I’m not wearing your-”
“Turn around.” He says more firmly, and you do as he says. Your eyes focus on your neck as he places the necklace on you, and you immediately notice how well it compliments your dress. Seonghwa’s warm fingers lightly touch the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. This feels incredibly intimate, especially because you notice the way his eyes roam over you.
“It was my mothers.” Seonghwa says in almost a whisper, eyes still locked on your neck through the mirror. Your breath hitches, suddenly feeling like you shouldn’t be wearing this.
“Seonghwa.. I can’t wear this.” Your fingers touch the pendant.
“I know she would’ve loved to see you in it.” A small smile tugs on his lips, obviously thinking about his mom. You don’t know what to say. His mom was the nicest woman you’ve ever met, and you do miss her dearly. You can’t even imagine how Seonghwa feels. “She really liked you, you know.” His eyes dart up, meeting yours through the mirror.
“I liked her too.” You send him a smile, remembering all the good times you've shared with her.
“And I know she would've chopped my hands off if she knew I made you upset. So I’m genuinely sorry.” He looks apologetic, not an ounce of teasing evident in his voice. You’ve never shared a moment like this with him, and if you were close, you would’ve hugged him and told him everything was okay. But you can’t remember the last time you shared affection with him, so you just try your best to send him a smile through the mirror.
“Thank you.” Your voice is a whisper, and he steps closer to you to remove some hair on your shoulder. This makes the necklace more apparent on your neck, and you smile at the view. “It’s beautiful.”
You just now notice how close you are to him, slightly feeling his front against your bare back. He has a perfect height when he stands next to you, and even more when he stands behind you like now.
His eyes are all over you through the mirror, and the feeling is not something you ever expected to feel so exciting. You can’t help but look back at him, seeing how good his suit looks on him. You stare at the shirt he’s wearing under his jacket, and in this light, you notice that it’s made of sheer fabric, making it slightly see-through.
You hate how much you’re staring, but you can’t help it. And when he’s staring back at you, the same look in his eyes, you know you’re in too deep.
The door to the bathroom suddenly opens, and a lady stops at the door, looking confused as if she didn't think she entered the right bathroom. Seonghwa looks at her and then back to you through the mirror.
“I better go.” He says above a whisper, looking down at you one last time before heading out of the bathroom. You don’t pay any attention to the lady entering, only focused on what just happened between you and Seonghwa.
It takes you a moment to get back to your senses, but you eventually get there and head back to your table.
The rest of the dinner went differently. Every time you looked across the table, you'd meet Seonghwa's eyes. You'd both hold the gaze for longer than you'd anticipate, feeling heat in your cheeks before darting your eyes away from him.
You didn’t see much of the waiter for the rest of the night, Seonghwa probably scaring him away from your table.
When you made it home to the cottage, you all started getting ready for bed. It was getting late, and you were getting tired as well. Coming up from the stairs, you walked towards your room, when suddenly a hand grabbed your wrist. Surprised, you stop your tracks and look to see Seonghwa appear from his room. His eyes met yours in an instant, standing close to you.
“I apologized to the waiter. Happy?” He said with a low voice. He almost sounds defeated, like he lost an important battle, but you can’t help but enjoy it a little bit.
“I didn’t think you cared about him?” You said, finding it new that he’s apologizing.
“I don’t, not in the slightest. Couldn’t care less about what he’s feeling.” He shrugged, and you wanted to roll your eyes before he spoke again. “But I’m trying to do the right thing here. Even if I was just making him do his job, I could’ve been a little nicer. I’ll admit.” He kept the eye contact and the soft grasp around your wrist, making you focus on him.
A smile spreads on your lips. “Should I get used to this? You apologizing? Because I kinda like it.” You tease. He scoffs, looking down at you with the same look in his eyes as earlier. The one where he studies you to the smallest details, somehow making you nervous.
“A little dangerous starting to like something that has to do with me, don’t you think?” He teases back, a smirk growing on his face. The dimmed light in the hallway makes everything seem slightly more intimate, and with the way you’re feeling when he’s looking at you like this, you know you have to keep your shit together.
This is Park Seonghwa.
Yes, he has helped you with your ankle and whatever.
But you’d never be able to actually get along. You’re built to argue with him. Tease, mock, pick on, just like he does with you. The two of you don’t know any better, but somehow, looking at him right now, you can’t do that. You don’t even know what to do, because you’ve never felt this way when looking at him.
And it’s a brand new territory.
His free hand raises, and you do nothing but wait to see where it lands, when he suddenly traces his finger from your jaw and down to your neck. You feel the necklace move under his touch, suddenly reminded that you’re wearing it.
“Oh, the necklace.” You put your hands behind your neck to take it off, but Seonghwa shakes his head, taking your hands down.
“Let me.” He says, and you turn around, collecting your hair to one side. Waiting for him to take it off, you suddenly feel his hands on your waist, turning you slightly so he has better light. But the feeling of his hands on your waist makes your heart beat faster, leaving burning marks where his fingers touched. His fingers are on your skin as he removes the necklace sends shivers down your spine, and the necklace is gone.
But Seonghwa notices the way you’re reacting to his touch, smiling to himself as you turn back around to face him.
“Thanks for letting me borrow it.” You smile.
“Always.”
With one last look, you decide to go into your room, scared of what could happen if you stayed out there any longer.
***
You took a deep breath as you sat down on the bench at the end of the ski slope. You took a moment to watch people coming down the mountain on their skis or snowboards while you enjoyed finally being out again.
You had looked forward to this, spending the entire day here. This was one of the main reasons you even visited this cottage every year. To ski and have fun.
What you didn’t expect was the intense pain.
In your ankle? no.
Or a little, but the pain was mostly in your stomach due to your period.
You didn’t think it would be arriving while being on this trip, but of course, it had to arrive at this time. Therefore, you didn’t have anything prepared, other than a few emergency pads. But the pain you felt was actually the worst, making you have to take a break.
You look up to see a person get close at an awfully fast speed on their snowboard, making you think they’ll crash into you but they stop right in front of you, making snow splash everywhere. You don’t have to think twice to recognize Seonghwa’s attire in front of you.
“Asshole.” You mumble as Seonghwa takes off his helmet, smiling at his own little stunt.
“You okay?” He asks, noticing the slight discomfort on your face.
“Yeah, it’s just… my ankle.” You lie. You didn’t feel like sharing with Seonghwa what was really hurting you. And your ankle did hurt a bit, so it wasn’t a complete lie. But it was definitely mostly the pain in your stomach that held you from being on the slopes right now.
“Is it getting worse?” Seonghwa asks, suddenly being back to being your doctor.
“Yeah.” You respond, not exactly knowing what to say.
“Are you okay, honey?” Your mom suddenly appears in her ski attire, walking over to you and Seonghwa.
“I’m fine.” You respond shortly.
“It’s her ankle.” Seonghwa says, making you want to throw a snowball in his face. Not only because it wasn’t the entire truth, but also because you know how much your mom is concerned about your ankle. You knew she wasn’t a fan of you being on the slopes already, scared that you might get as hurt as last year.
Your mom looks at you with worry. “Darling, you should take your time to heal.” She walks closer to you. “I don’t think skiing is a good idea..” Your mom doesn't hide the look on her face. You know she’s saying this with pure love, but you don’t know what else to do. This is what you came for. But she didn’t want you to get hurt, not any more than you already are.
“What else can I do?” You ask.
“You can drive to the city?” She sounds optimistic like it’s the funniest thing to do in an area filled with slopes and snow.
“To do what?”
“I need some new ornaments for the tree. You can drive to the city and pick some for us.” She makes it sound like it’s the best idea ever. And you’ll admit; it was better than staying home while everyone else is out in the snow.
“Fine..”
“I’ll come with you.” Seonghwa suddenly adds to the conversation, and you and your mom both look at him.
“Are you sure?” Your mom asks, sounding slightly confused since she knows how you and Seonghwa never spend time together voluntarily.
“Yeah, I’m getting a little sore from all the snowboarding, I could use a break,” He smiles at your mom. “Besides, with her luck, falling two years in a row, I think it’s a good idea to have someone keep an eye on her.” He smirks in your direction, but you only send back an obvious fake smile.
Your mom’s face, on the other hand, lights up like a Christmas tree. It’s a tradition for your mom to get a new ornament for the Christmas tree every year, so you know this means more for her than it does for the rest of you. It was a tradition she shared with Seonghwa’s mom, but your mom continued it like she still had her best friend to do it with.
“Amazing! Can’t wait to see what you guys bring back.”
***
The trip to the city went as you’d expect. It wasn’t the best time of your life, but it was nice to finally be outside. You got to see the city in daylight, but it was definitely prettier in the nighttime with all the lights lighting up the sky.
With Seonghwa’s help, you found seven ornaments - one for each of you. You picked one for yourself and your parents, while Seonghwa picked one for himself, his dad, his sister, and his mom. They were simple, the designs looking like they were supposed to be snowflakes, but they all looked different.
While Seonghwa paid for the ornaments, you looked at other Christmas decorations. There were all kinds of decorations, everything from the most elegant and minimalistic to the downright ugly.
You stood with an elf in your hands, admiring how cute it was when another wave of pain suddenly hit your lower region. Despite living with it for years, you somehow never get used to it. You winced in pain, trying to keep a straight face when you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder.
“You alright?” Seonghwa sounded worried, but you just nodded. You put down the elf and put on your best smile.
“I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”
As he opens the door for you, he still looks worried. You make your way to your car, and he unlocks it. Just as you grab the handle, you're hit with another wave of pain. You hold yourself on the stomach, slightly leaning forward, hoping to ease the discomfort. You quickly try to ignore the feeling and get into the car.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Seonghwa looks at you from the driver’s seat. “Are you sick? Is it your ankle?” The questions fly out of him like there’s no tomorrow, but you shake your head, not wanting to draw attention.
“No, no.. It’s fine. Just go.”
“Do you need to pee? Are you hungry? Do you-”
“For the love of all great things, just drive, Seonghwa.” You don’t mean to make it sound rude, but the words left your mouth before you could even think.
Seonghwa responds with a deep sigh, before starting the car. “We need to get gas before we continue on, we’re running out.”
Silence fills the air as he drives to a gas station not far away from the city. He gets out of the car and starts filling it up with the gas you need. A short moment goes by before he opens the door to reach for his wallet, but you stop him.
“I can pay for the gas.” You say, looking for your wallet in your bag.
“It’s fine, I’ll pay. Wait here.” His voice is cold and you watch him as he makes his way into the gas station. You sigh to yourself, annoyed that you lash out without thinking, when in fact, Seonghwa was just being nice. He was probably just worried about your foot like he had been ever since you fell. He has never shown this amount of worry for you, so it did surprise you when he took so much care of you and volunteered to drive with you to the city.
You’re too focused on your thoughts to notice Seonghwa coming back, and entering the car. You look at him but are suddenly surprised when a small white bag is placed on your lap. He turns on the engine and drives away from the gas station.
Curious and confused, you look in the bag, and you can’t believe what you see. It’s filled with Advils, chocolate bars, juice, water, pads, and a package of menstrual cramp relief heating pads.
You have no idea how to react. Emotions everywhere, you almost want to cry, but you don’t. You just look at him and stare at his side profile as he focuses on driving your car.
“Thank you..” You say with a low voice.
“You’re welcome.”
Another silence.
“How did you know?” You ask.
“I’ve grown up with a mom and an older sister. I’m very much aware of periods and that people with periods go through pain.” His voice is turning softer as he speaks, not as cold as before. You look into the bag again and grab the heating pads, not sure how to use them.
You’ve used your heating pillow for ages, but of course, forgot to bring it on the trip.
“They heat up and relax the muscles in your lower abdomen so you’ll be in less pain,” Seonghwa explains like he knows how to read your mind. “I’ve heard. I haven’t tried it for myself, for obvious reasons, but my sister always uses these.” His gaze shifts between the heating pads in your hands and the road.
“Thank you..” You say once again. You feel like you’re thanking him a lot on this trip. “And I’m sorry.” You look at him, feeling bad for snapping at him when he just wanted to know if you were okay. His eyes meet yours, and after a few seconds, he sends you a smile.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
The annoying smile of his sends a feeling to your stomach again. The same warm, strange feeling you also felt earlier with him this week. Your breath hitches from the feeling, and you shake your head to yourself.
It’s nothing.
Don’t think about it.
***
The day after, you decided to take things a bit slow. You wanted to join the others on the slopes, but your body was simply too worn out. But that didn’t stop you from spending time at the café, located at the bottom of the slope. You decided to bring a book as you sat in the corner, watching people enter from being up on the slopes. They were all in their ski attire, ready to conquer the slopes after getting something to drink.
The door to the cozy cafe opened and you'd recognize that helmet anywhere. Seonghwa entered by himself, taking the helmet off his head as he walked to the desk to order. You saw his eyes roaming the café, so you decided to focus on your book, deciding to look busy. You only read a few lines before a voice caught your attention.
“Hey, sunshine,” Seonghwa’s voice said, placing his helmet on the other bench at your table. “What are you doing here?”
“Got bored at the cottage.” You shrug.
He took off his big jacket and placed it on one of your seats as well. “Mind if I join you here?” Seonghwa asks as he basically has already taken over half the space at your table.
“No, go ahead.” You answer before he goes back to the desk to order. Your eyes are about to scan the book again when a new voice interrupts.
“Excuse me..” The voice says, and you look up to see a girl around the same age as you. She looks sweet and pretty, and very innocent. “Sorry, but are you dating him?” She asks shyly while pointing at Seonghwa.
“Uhm, no.” You shake your head, slightly confused.
“Do you know if he’s dating anyone?”
“I don't think so.” You explain, telling her the truth. You have no idea what his dating life is like, but you don't think he is.
“Oh, okay.. I just didn’t want to shoot my shot if you were his girlfriend.” She smiles, before excusing herself again. Your eyes watch as she approaches Seonghwa, but you’re unable to hear what is being said between them. All you see is Seonghwa suddenly darting his eyes at you as the girl is speaking, and you look back into your book. You’re not getting further with your book, because Seonghwa comes back not long after.
“Here.” He says as he places a mug of hot cocoa in front of you. He puts one down for himself as well before sitting down at the table. You don’t recall asking him to get you this, but the fact that he did it was nice.. or whatever.
“Thank you,” Your eyes scan the cocoa, topped with whipped cream and cinnamon. “So.. Did you get her number?” You ask, eying him carefully to hear his response.
“What?” He responded like he didn’t just talk to a girl who was clearly interested in him.
“That girl.. She came to me and asked if you were dating anyone and wanted to shoot your shot with you. So?”
He shook his head, grabbing a spoon to scoop some whipped cream from his drink. “I didn’t get her number. I thanked her for the opportunity, but I’m not interested.”
You don’t know why but this makes you slightly confused. Everyone could tell that Seonghwa was a beautiful human being, and it’s not the first time you've seen someone attempt to flirt with him. This makes you realize that you don’t know anything about his relationships, hookups, or people he has crushed on in the past. He had never brought anyone with him as his partner, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have one. You’ve just never heard about them.
“Why? You have someone waiting at home?” You ask, feeling weirdly comfortable having this conversation.
“I don’t know, do I?” A smirk tugs on his lips before he brings the spoon with whipped cream to his mouth. Your brows shoot together, feeling confused.
“How should I know?” You ask as you grab a spoonful of whipped cream as well.
“I don’t know. But to answer your question; I’m not interested in anyone. As I’ve said before, you’re the only one that can handle me.” The smirk only grows on his face, and you know what he’s doing.
It wasn’t new for Seonghwa to throw these kinds of comments your way, especially with a smirk evident on his face. He knows sending flirty remarks your way would make you uncomfortable (in the beginning), but you’ve gotten so used to it that you can’t help but laugh. It’s obvious that he only does it to be annoying, but a sarcastic laugh still finds its way out of you.
“Right, could you imagine? Us dating?” You joke.
“Would it be terrible?” He asks, teeth showing from smiling.
“We would rip off each other's heads within a week.” You answer confidently.
“What would you do if we got married?”
“Divorce you.”
This makes him laugh, a sound that is so incredibly addicting that it’s annoying. Yet you can't help but smile.
“See that’s what I mean. Only you would say that.” Seonghwa argues like he’s actually serious about this topic.
“Like you wouldn’t do the same.” You roll your eyes, scooping another spoonful of whipped cream. You knew that if you and Seonghwa were married, it would probably turn into a competition of who could sign the divorce papers first. Yes, you and Seonghwa have gotten closer on this trip, and you’ll admit; he has been doing some very nice things to you. But you’re convinced he would never actually consider taking this a step further. You’re not his type, you know that.
Seonghwa leans forward towards you, speaking in a volume that makes this seem like an important topic.
“Be honest with me, you couldn’t ever see us dating?”
The fact that he’s still talking about this, is making you question everything.
“I don’t know, is it important?” You shrug.
“It’s a simple question.” He leans his head slightly to the side, questioning you.
“Could you see us dating?” You ask back.
“I asked you first.”
He leans back in his seat, waiting for your answer. The answer is simple, right? Yet you don’t know why you’re not spitting out a hard “no”. Instead, you’re taking your time, reading his body language, trying to figure out how to answer this the best way.
“I mean.. There’s a lot of things to take into consideration when talking about topics like that- what?” You ask in the middle of your sentence when you see a smile growing on his face like he’s entertained.
“Just answer yes or no.”
“Then… No.” You finally answer.
“Why not?”
Growing tired of him questioning you about this like it’s actually important, you release a deep sigh and close your book. “Because you’re a menace 92% of the time.”
The topic is making your hands sweaty and your mouth dry for some unknown reason. You grab your hot cocoa after eating most of the whipped cream on top, blowing on the drink so you won’t burn yourself.
“And the remaining 8%?” He asks, also taking his hot cocoa in his hands.
You scan his face for a moment, trying to figure out the best answer without boosting his ego too much. “You’re bearable.”
“I can work with that.” He shrugs with a smirk before taking a sip of his drink.
***
Seonghwa decided to join you on your way back to the cottage after drinking the hot cocoa. You don’t mind it, now having a feeling that you can actually have a normal conversation with him.
It’s a Christmas miracle.
“Have you ever watched the Gringe? You two are like the same person.” Seonghwa enters the living room and throws himself on the couch next to you.
Nevermind.
You roll your eyes, not sparing him a glance. "Funny." You say.
You fix the heating pad on your stomach, feeling the pain slowly fading away. He notices your hands on your stomach and the crumbled chocolate wrap next to you.
“You know, there’s another way to get rid of period pain.” He says, and you feel his eyes on you.
"I can’t believe that I’m asking you, out of all people, but what?” You turn your head to look at him, and a smirk suddenly makes its way to his lips.
“Orgasms.”
You throw your head back along with a deep sigh. “You just had to, didn’t you? You just had to make it sexual?” Your reaction makes him laugh, a sound you’ve gotten awfully used to the last few days.
“I’m being deadly serious, though. It’s scientifically proven.” He sits up more straight and turns to look at you. “It obviously doesn’t have to be done by a partner, you can do it by yourself. I’m just saying..” He ends it with a shrug and holds his hands up in defense.
“Well thank you, but no thank you.”
“Just thought I’d share my knowledge with you.. Also to let you know that I completely understand if the pain gets too much and you need to.. you know.” The smirk is evident in his voice, but you just send him a glare.
“I repeat.. Thank you, but no thank you.”
“Alright..” He lies down on the couch again and a silence surrounds you. You turn your head to look at him but are met with a smirk and you don’t have to think twice to know what he’s thinking about.
“Seonghwa, I will knock you on your fat ass if you even think about it.”
Another laugh escapes him, and you can’t help but smile at the sound. “Alright, alright.. Sorry.”
Before you actually knock him out, your parents enter the cottage along with Seonghwa’s dad. Not even a minute goes by before your mom is in the living room, a huge smile on her face and eyes on you.
“Honey! You never guess what happened!” Her excitement steals both your and Seonghwa’s attention. “We were at the ski resort, and we met the waiter from dinner the other night!” She’s practically jumping and clapping, overly excited about this.
“Oh, really?” You say, slightly confused. You haven’t thought much about the waiter since the dinner. He was really cute and seemed to give you a new form of attention, but for some reason, your mind has been a little.. occupied the last few days.
“Yes, and he immediately recognized us and he asked for your number!” Her words almost make your eyes pop out of your skull.
“My number?”
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted it, but I saw the way he looked at you at dinner,” She wiggled her eyebrows, acting like the ultimate wingwoman. “Instead I asked for his on your behalf, then you can text him if you’d like. He said he would like to take you to dinner before we leave.” She handed you a napkin with a number and his name on it, and you looked at it for a few seconds, contemplating how you should feel.
“Oh.. Cool, thanks.”
You were happy, of course you were. A guy who looks incredibly cute is requesting to take you out to dinner. What’s not to like?
But for some reason, a teeny tiny piece of you don’t want this. But a dinner with him won’t hurt anyone, right?
***
It’s been a few days since you got the waiter’s phone number. You made the decision to text him later that night, thanking him for being such a good waiter on the first night. The conversation then escalated to him inviting you to dinner the day after tomorrow, on the 23rd. A lot of thoughts roamed your mind, wondering if you should do it or not. He was really nice, and seemed like a good guy, so why weren’t you ecstatic about this?
You ended up saying yes, throwing yourself out there. It’s just a date. Besides, he probably lives in the area and you live a few hours away. Most likely, this won’t even work out, but a fun night out could be needed.
You’ve also had a nice few days, feeling extremely happy. Your period is over, your ankle is feeling better and everyone seems to be in a good mood. The other day, your mom even commented on the fact that you and Seonghwa aren’t bickering as much as you used to. You didn’t know what to say about that, quickly changing the topic of conversation.
It’s not like you had an answer to that, anyway.
You walk down the stairs, about to head to the kitchen when something catches your eye. You stop in your tracks and look into the living room. All by himself, Seonghwa is standing next to the Christmas tree, looking at one specific ornament. Slowly, you make your way towards him, watching as his fingers trace the ornament.
“Hi.” You say in a low volume, trying not to startle him. He looks back at you, putting on his best smile, but you can tell something is roaming his mind.
“Hey.” His gaze returns to the ornament, and you quickly realize it’s the one he chose for his mom when you and him were shopping for Christmas ornaments. It’s elegant, simple, and definitely her style.
“It’s pretty.” You say, keeping your eyes on the snowflake.
“Yeah.. I feel like she would have chosen this one.” Seonghwa’s eyes still don't leave it, and he’s watching it with so much love. Like he’s actually looking at his mom.
“She did. Through you.” You look away from the ornament and turn to look at him. Even more love shines through his eyes, and you can’t stop looking at him. You can tell he is thinking about his mom and all she did for him - which was a lot. She was a wonderful mom who did anything for her kids. When Seonghwa was a kid, she never missed a football game, she supported him and his sister with everything and kept a smile on her face during anything.
“She loved Christmas,” Seonghwa says, clearly thinking of memories with his mom. “She loved coming here to the cottage, celebrating the holidays with you and your family. It was when she was the happiest.” His gaze finally leaves the snowflake decorating the tree, looking to meet your eyes.
You can’t help but think of the memories with her either. “She defined Christmas for me. I remember when we were visiting you guys in the summertime, she would make us look through the photo albums of earlier Christmases.” You find yourself laughing with Seonghwa at the memory, clearly remembering how much she loves Christmas.
“Yeah.. she was really into making memories. She loved it,” His smile froze before it slowly fell again, something clearly replacing the happy thoughts. “Ironic, how that’s the only thing I have of her now.” Sadness appears in his voice, as his eyes go back to the ornament.
“That’s not true, Seonghwa,” You shake your head, suddenly getting the urge to grab his hand, but you don’t. “You have all the pictures, you wear her necklace, and you have us. And I know she’s here with us. Do you really think she wouldn’t be here with you for Christmas? She would never do that.” You have to fight yourself not to have tears in your eyes, but it gets even harder when Seonghwa looks at you with glistening eyes.
Seonghwa takes in a deep breath of air and looks up at the ceiling. He blinks a few times like he’s trying his best not to cry in front of you, but you somehow wish he would. You want him to know that it’s okay. That it’s okay to cry and miss her. Because you do too, and you can’t even imagine how much pain he feels every day, not being able to touch her. Talk to her. Be with her.
He releases his breath of air and looks back down at you. “Thank you.”
His eyes are still glistening, but it feels nice talking to him about this. You’ve never talked much about his mother’s passing, not being good at expressing emotions to one another. But this trip has opened up something for both of you, allowing you to talk about your feelings.
Feeling slightly restless, you send him one last smile, before turning around.
“Wait..” Seonghwa stops you before you manage to walk away, and you turn around as you wait for him to say something. His eyes flicker for a moment as he tries to figure out how to word the thoughts in his head. “I’m sorry.”
The apology came out of nowhere, making your brows shoot together in question.
“For?”
He takes another moment to collect his thoughts.
“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting the last few..” He looks up to think but scoffs at himself. “The last few years, at this point.” He looks deep into your eyes, wanting you to know that he’s not messing around right now. “I’ve said some mean things and I’ve been way over the line and you didn’t deserve that. I guess after my mom passed, I held so much anger inside of me because I regretted so many things when it came to her. So instead of dealing with it in a healthy way, I took it out on you. And don’t ask me why, because I don’t know, honestly. Maybe it was because you reminded me of her with your kind personality and everything, and so it just made me angry that she wasn’t here..” He looked down between you, gathering his thoughts before continuing.
“Either way, it doesn’t make it okay, and I’m really sorry if I’ve said some things to upset you.. Which I know I have, but I can’t remember all of them.” Seonghwa tries to send you a smile, but it ends up looking a little awkward.
You didn’t expect this at all. Your mouth feels dry from this big apology, not knowing what to say. A part of you always sensed that his mother’s passing triggered something in him to make him angry with you, but you didn’t know why. And it seemed like he didn’t either, but you could tell that he was genuinely sorry.
You send him a smile, not wanting him to feel bad anymore.
“Thank you. And I’m sorry too if I’ve ever said something back in rage.” You apologize, knowing for sure that you’ve said some things to him that weren't very nice either.
“You don’t have to apologize, I probably deserved it.” Seonghwa tries to joke, forcing a smile. “I just don’t want my mom to be disappointed with me.”
Once again, your heart breaks for him. You know how much she meant to him.
“Seonghwa, your mom was an amazing and beautiful woman. She raised you and your sister to be good people, and you are. The two of us have not always gotten along the best, but if it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t even be able to stand up right now, hadn’t you taken so much care of my ankle. You bought me a bunch of stuff to help me get through my period. Or last year when I fell on my skis and I couldn’t walk, I know you were the one who bought me my favorite brownies because no one knows I love them but you. Or three years ago when my car crashed, you drove me to the mechanic and when I had to pay a week later, you had paid for it and asked them to lie and tell me I had won some stupid competition that made it free.”
“Why do you think I paid for it?”
“I knew something was up so I asked for the details and they couldn’t lie anymore. I saw the payment. P.S.H written with your bank account number.” You explained, making his eyes flicker.
“Well.. You didn’t have a job at the time.” He started excusing, but it only proved your point further.
“Exactly. And that’s what I mean, Seonghwa. Your mom could never be disappointed with you, because even though the two of us weren’t even friends, you still helped me, and you help everyone around you. Your mom loves you, and I know she’s watching over you with nothing but care. She would be really proud of you.”
This is what pushes Seonghwa over the edge. He looks away from you and a sob escapes him. For the first time, you see Seonghwa cry. Not even right after his mom passed did you see him cry. But now, you see tears cover his cheeks, despite him desperately trying to hide his face with his hands.
Doing something you’ve never done, you take a few steps closer to him and wrap your arms around his waist to hug him. This is not about the past, how much you used to fight, or if you’re even friends. Right now, he’s crying because of the loss of his mother, and you need to be there for him.
You feel Seonghwa wrap his arms around you too, fully accepting this as he tries to control his sobs. Your head is pressed against his chest, and you’re able to hear his heart pounding fast. It’s a sound so intimate and it only makes you want to be closer to him. To hear him talk for hours about what is roaming his mind, no matter how emotional it might get.
You don’t know how long you’re hugging him, but his sobs quietly die down, and his heart starts to beat at a normal pace.
“Thank you.” He mumbles in your embrace, and you pull back to see his eyes slightly red and puffy. You’re not ready to leave him yet, not wanting him to be alone.
“Are you busy?” You suddenly ask. He seems a little taken aback by your sudden question but shakes his head.
“No.”
“Do you want to watch ‘Home Alone’ with me?” You point to the TV, thinking this would be a good way to end the day. A smile creeps up on his lips, and he nods.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
***
Everyone has gone to bed, and after spending what feels like hours being nervous about your date in two days, you decide to head to bed. After changing into your oversized nightshirt, you carefully make your way to the bathroom. You make sure not to make too much noise so you won’t wake up the rest, and start getting ready to brush your teeth.
Suddenly the door to the bathroom opens, and Seonghwa walks in, unaware that you’re here.
“Oh sorry, I thought you had gone to bed.” He excuses, stopping his tracks. You can’t help but notice how he’s only in his sweatpants, his bare chest visible. You have to fight everything in you not to look down at his naked torso, but it’s almost impossible.
“I’m about to.” You say, holding the toothbrush in hand.
“Can I brush my teeth?” He asks, pointing at his toothbrush by the sink.
“Sure.” You answer, taking a step away to give him some space.. and not to be too close to him, because he looks better than you imagined, and you're not sure how to behave right now.
He walks to the sink, and as you brush your teeth, you slowly find your eyes traveling to him. You’ve seen his chest before, but that was years ago when you went to the beach as teens. But now, seeing him as an adult, he’s completely changed. He’s slender with a thin waist, but still lean and muscles visible. His sweatpants are hanging low, making you able to see his entire abdomen and down to the top of his pelvis area through the mirror.
Never have you seen him like this before, but it’s definitely doing something to you. You feel something in your stomach, the same thing you’ve felt before. And it’s making you want to go absolutely crazy.
But little do you know that Seonghwa is doing anything in his power not to look at you. When he walked out and saw you in your big oversized t-shirt, covering your entire upper body and stopping right at the thighs, he thought that would be the end of him. Your hair is in a messy bun and you look so cozy and comfortable in your shirt. He’s not sure if you’re wearing something underneath, but it doesn’t look like it, and that alone is making his mind go to places it shouldn’t.
Does he feel your eyes on him? Of course, he does.
And it’s making him go crazy.
But he can’t look at you or react, because he’s doing everything in his power to think of other things than you, or else a certain part of him would get very.. excited, and in these gray sweatpants, it will be more visible than normal.
You finish brushing your teeth before him, and you take a step towards the sink. He’s giving you space by taking a step back, but he shouldn’t have done that. Now he has a complete view of you as you’re bending over to spit in the sink, and your shirt slightly raises, still not giving the impression that you’re wearing something underneath.
He’s about to stop brushing his teeth so he can go back to his room, not being able to stay here a minute longer, but you’re meeting his eyes through the mirror and you send him a relaxed smile.
“Goodnight.” You say just above a whisper.
“Goodnight.” He replies, and you walk back to your room before he can leave. You didn’t get to do your skincare or brush your hair, you just had to get out of there.
His body was looking amazing, and afraid of suddenly embarrassing yourself, you had to leave.
After waiting for a few minutes in your room for him to leave, you finally got the chance to finish your night routine. When you opened your door, you found that the bathroom was unoccupied. So, you tiptoed your way back and completed your routine, brushing your hair, doing your nightly skincare routine, and ensuring that you are completely prepared before returning to your room.
Stepping back into the hallway, you walk past the closed door to Seonghwa’s room, but stop when you hear a certain sound.
A soft grunt came from the other side of the door, only to be followed by a light moan. Your immediate thought is to walk away, but for some reason, you couldn’t get yourself to move. Seonghwa's voice released another moan, sounding so soft and somehow rough at the same time, and before you knew it, your thoughts were running wild. Without realizing it, you take a step closer to his door to get a better listen.
You shouldn't be doing this. But as another moan escapes from behind the door, your heart races. Seonghwa’s voice sounds so mild and soft as these moans continue on, making you picture what he looks like.
His gray sweatpants pulled down slightly as he strokes himself. Bare chest and in his bed, eyes closed as he bites his lip to quiet down the sounds. His hair messy, possibly sweat starting to form on his forehead.
Moan.
Shivers all over your body from the picture your mind just created. You know he looks absolutely gorgeous because he always does. But this is making you go crazier than ever before, and a sudden need for him is taking over you.
A creaking from the floor underneath you woke you up from your daydreaming, and a longer pause from the moans filled the air. Panic rises inside of you, so you hurry back to your own room. Closing the door behind you, your heart beats fast against your chest.
Not-so-innocent thoughts still roam your mind as you get under the sheets. Hopefully, he didn’t hear you outside. If he did, you’ll just say you went to the bathroom.
But never has this happened before, making you wonder what would’ve happened if he caught you listening.
Before you know it, you’re in a deep sleep, the last thing you think of is Seonghwa.
***
The texts between you and the waiter have been rather superficial so far, not exactly knowing what to talk about yet. Hopefully, the talk will be smooth when you’re on the actual date.
Another day has gone and you went to the city to spend some time and buy some last Christmas gifts. The entire day was spent walking, and you'll admit that your ankle was starting to hurt. You tried pushing away the pain but ended up driving home.
This resulted in you saying no to having dinner in the city. It was your dad's idea, but even the thought of walking anymore was already hurting your ankle, so you told the others to just enjoy a nice dinner in the city.
Surprised, Seonghwa didn’t join the rest either. You only overheard him telling them to have a nice evening, and then your parents left, along with Seonghwa’s dad. You knew they’d have a great time, probably going out for drinks after dinner.
Or so you hoped, because it was now 9:30 in the evening, and they were still not home yet.
You switched the TV channel in the living room. Seonghwa walked in, sat down, and watched in silence.
Of course, you hadn’t mentioned anything about your little meeting in the bathroom last night and what it led to for you. And thankfully, he hadn’t either, so you were able to wake up today with a fresh mind.
“Why didn’t you wanna go out with the others?” You asked, changing to another channel again.
“Didn’t feel like going out tonight..” He shrugged. Neither of you said anything for a few moments, only looking for something interesting to watch. Every channel showed the same kind of low-budget Christmas movies on every channel, except one channel with a weird dating show called ‘Date My Mom’.
“So..” Seonghwa starts saying next to you, a few seconds of silence as you continue changing channels. “You’re gonna have dinner with that waiter?”
“Yeah.. We’re going out tomorrow,” You respond, not looking at him. Just thinking of it, your heart starts to beat a little faster. The dating scene has always been uncomfortable to you, having gone on some awful dates in the past. “I’m a little nervous, I overthink everything. What to eat, what to wear..” You take a moment to think, considering your choices of clothes. You didn’t pack much fancy clothes, but you did have some options. “Maybe I could wear that red dress from the other night?” You think loud to yourself.
“No.” Seonghwa says.
“No?” Your gaze turns to him. “Why? I thought it was pretty..”
“I guess, but he has already seen that dress on you.” He shrugs, and you guess he has a point. But it is your favorite dress, and you feel confident in it. That makes a question pop into your head.
“Now that we’re at the topic and you're a guy; do guys notice what girls are wearing and remember it? Or do they not care?” You fully don’t care what’s on the TV now, turning your body towards Seonghwa to hopefully get some tips for tomorrow. Plus, you’re also just curious.
“Oh, we notice.” Seonghwa sounds confident in his answer, looking at you with a cocky smile.
“But don’t you just remember it on girls you’re interested in or girls in general?”
“It depends, the same way you do for guys,” He looks back at the screen, but your eyes staring at him, has his head turned to you, looking slightly confused. “What?”
“Have you ever put thought into what I was wearing?” You ask without holding back. Two weeks ago, you wouldn’t have asked Seonghwa this question. But you and Seonghwa have gotten closer on this trip, so you felt like you could ask him without making it weird.
“Maybe.”
He answers like it isn’t a big deal, but your eyes nearly pop out of your skull.
“Really? What was I wearing?” Your whole body is now turned towards him, curious to know his answer.
“I think we’re gonna end this conversation here. Goodnight.” He stands up from the couch and makes his way to the stairs.
“Seonghwa! Please.”
“No, you’re just gonna rub it in my face. Goodnight!” His back is still turned to you as he reaches the stairs.
“Noo, I promise I won’t!”
He stops in his tracks, releasing a deep sigh. He looks back at you, looking slightly annoyed. "Goodnight… “ His words are harsh, but when he turns around to walk up the stairs, he takes a moment, before looking back at you again. “The red dress.”
A subtle smirk appears on his lips before he disappears up the stairs, leaving you frozen on the couch. The way his eyes held a hint of something unknown, something hidden, made your heart beat faster than normal.
You don’t realize you’ve been staring at nothing for a few minutes before you decide to head upstairs as well. A shower is necessary, so you head to the bathroom and take a well-deserved shower. Your eyes linger on Seonghwa’s door for a few seconds before walking into the bathroom. The seating area in the shower makes it take a bit longer than normal since you enjoy sitting there a bit too much under the warm water. In your defense, your ankle hurts when you stand up too long.
Finishing up in the shower, you realize that you forgot your night clothes in your room. With a sigh, you dry yourself off and wrap the towel around your body before hurrying into your room. You close your door behind you, and just as you’re about to reach for something to put on, your eyes notice something red lying by itself on the chair.
A smirk spreads on your lips as your hands reach for your red dress, slowly putting it on. You smile to yourself when you see yourself in nothing but the dress Seonghwa just admitted to think of. Silently walking out of your room, you find yourself in the dimmed-lit hallway. A few knocks on the closed door in front of you have your heart beat a little faster than normally, but the thought of teasing a little is just what you need.
The door opens and Seonghwa comes into the frame, bare chest, and gray sweatpants. The same look as yesterday with the sweatpants hanging dangerously low. Just a second passed after seeing you in the red dress in front of his door, and he was sighing deeply.
“What are you doing?” He asks, annoyed.
You smile teasingly, looking down at yourself. “I was just trying out clothes for the date, and you’re sure I shouldn’t wear this?” Your hands run down the sides of your waist and to your hips, focusing on the way the dress hugs your body.
“Are you trying to piss me off or do you actually wanna know what I think?” Seonghwa’s eyes flicker down to your hips for a second before going back to your eyes and staying there. Like he won’t let you win this one.
“A little bit of both maybe?” You smirk, and suddenly your eyes lose the fight, slowly sinking down to his chest. Right now, you know you're in deep water. It's a dangerous game you've decided to play, but it's somehow making you want to do this even more.
But realizing that you aren’t being as tough as you imagined you’d be, you look up to see him starting to smirk like he knows what you’re thinking, “I think..” He steps out of his room, slowly approaching you until you’re pressed up against the wall behind you. “You’re playing a game with me. But it’s not working, Red dress. Go to bed.” Seonghwa then turns around, but without thinking, you grab his arm and pull him back. He rolls his eyes, sounding annoyed. “What do you want me to say? That I think you’re attractive?”
“Do you?”
The question throws him off for a second, but he fights the tug on his lips at your bravery. You’re never this pushy, it’s always him “flirting” in the most unhinged way, so this is a thrill to see.
“You’re a menace.”
“Do you?” You try again.
Seonghwa spends a few seconds with flickering eyes, trying to read your gaze and contemplating what to say. Choosing not to give you the satisfaction, he releases himself from your soft grip. “Goodnight.” He says with a soft voice before turning around to walk away.
“Are you scared?” You challenge.
His body stops, muscles on the back tensing. “You really are trying to piss me off,” He says as he turns around, quickly moving closer to you. You suck in a harsh breath, backing up against the wall when he’s suddenly back in front of you.
“I think that your body looks amazing in that dress,” He starts, eyes looking down on your body. His voice is just above a whisper as he leans in. “The color matches your hair perfectly, the cut on the front, the back showing just enough skin..” His fingers trace your waist and mixed with the way his low voice describes the dress on you, you feel the goosebumps all over your skin. He seems to notice your reaction because a scoff leaves his lips, but he doesn’t stop tracing his fingers on the fabric. “Honestly speaking, if I were the man who was to date you while you are wearing this dress, I’d have a time figuring out whether I would rather rip it off you or fuck you in it,”
You completely stop breathing at this point. This is not like the other times he has said some shit like this. He means it.
Seonghwa leans further towards you, and you feel his lips slightly grace your ear. “But I’m not that man, so it doesn’t matter,” He whispers before leaning back, looking into your eyes. “There, I said it. Happy now?”
Not knowing what to do or say, you just look into his dark eyes. You thought you had this when you knocked on his door, but he has you completely wrapped around his finger. A smirk spreads on his lips, and you feel his finger under your chin, tilting your head upwards. The expression of lust is so evident in his eyes.
“Are you scared?” He challenges, leaning in, but he doesn't kiss you. You feel his breath, you can almost feel how it is to kiss him, but he doesn’t do it. He’s playing with you. He’s doing what the two of you do best, and he wants you to take it to the next step.
And that you do.
Fed up with the teasing, you lean in and crash your lips against his. Like you’ve both been longing for each other, you wrap your arms around the other to get as close as possible. Seonghwa’s tongue slips in between your lips, and you let him have you as much as you suddenly crave him.
A subtle moan comes from Seonghwa, and you’re reminded of overhearing his moans. Getting even more turned on, you take one of his hands that is wrapped around your waist and guide it to your hips, silently telling him that you want this.
The way your body fits perfectly in his hands leaves you even more thirsty for him.
You feel his hand slide down to your thigh, slow fingers tracing your skin before you feel his touch at your heat.
The kiss breaks and Seonghwa looks down at you with a tiny crease in the middle of his forehead. “You’re not wearing any underwear.. You wanted this to happen?”
“Maybe.” You whisper, not knowing if you should feel confident or slightly embarrassed. But you know Seonghwa is into it when he smiles and you feel one of his fingers run between your folds.
“You’re such a little slut, I’m gonna have to take care of you.” He starts using two of his fingers to stimulate your clit, the feeling being absolutely addicting. You don’t know if it’s the feeling of doing something in the middle of the hallway or the fact that it’s Seonghwa who is fingering you, but the pleasure is out of this world. You’re already wet, and Seonghwa notices, so he uses the opportunity to slide two of his slender fingers into you and a muffled moan escapes your mouth. A smirk reaches his lips. “The house is empty, moan all you want, baby.”
His fingers are long, and you can’t help but clench around them. You feel him curl his fingers inside of you, hitting a spot you didn’t know felt so good. Throwing your head back in an attempt to keep yourself from going insane, Seonghwa takes the opportunity to kiss your neck. Another moan escapes your lips as you feel his fingers work in and out of you at a faster pace. His other hand keeps a grip on your waist, holding you steady.
Every thought is lost in your brain as Seonghwa angles his fingers and makes sure to be knuckles deep into you. Him being the tease he is, he slows down the pace when you start feeling your orgasm build up in your stomach, resulting in you starting to ride his fingers yourself. You're earned with a smile from Seonghwa, as your arms wrap around him to keep you steady.
“That's it, ride my fingers, you're doing so good.” He compliments. The way his low voice speaks makes you clench around his fingers again and the orgasm slowly starts forming in your stomach again. “Gonna cum already? You like having my fingers fuck you?”
“Y-Yes.” You manage to get out, but the orgasm approaches fast, faster than you’ve ever tried before. “Fuck, Seonghwa, I’m gonna cum.”
“Cum for me, baby.” He whispers and fastens the pace again. In a second, you’re doing everything you can to keep yourself on your legs as your orgasm approaches. The sounds of Seonghwa’s fingers in your pussy are echoing through the hallway, followed by your loud moans. His name slips out between your lips and a smile tugs on his lips. “That’s it, say my name.”
His eyes are studying your face as you ride your orgasm, not missing a glimpse of this moment. You meet his eyes, and he leans in to press his lips against yours. You then realize how much you missed his lips on yours already, and you feel him pull out his fingers to focus on the kiss. Tongues fighting for dominance, you’re both hungry for each other.
“What should I do with you?” Seonghwa asks as he pulls back for a second.
You’re quick to answer. “Fuck me.”
“My room or yours?”
“I don’t care.”
Seonghwa is definitely taking the lead and guides you into your bedroom. Your brain is nothing but Seonghwa, so you couldn't care less which bed you end up in. Your lips are on his again as he moves you both to your bed. Suddenly feeling something behind your thighs, you feel Seonghwa push you back, landing on the bed, before crawling on top of you.
His hands are all over your body, trying to touch every inch, when a groan escapes from the back of his throat. “You know what? Fuck this dress, take it off.” Seonghwa then helps you up on your knees so you can get out of the dress, pulling it over your head. Seeing you completely naked in front of him, his smile only grows as he sees how stunning you look.
Feeling overwhelmed, he grabs your face to kiss you as he stands next to the bed, you on your knees on the mattress. His bare skin under your fingers is driving you crazy, so as your tongue moves with his, you can't help but play with the elastic band around his waist, holding up the sweatpants. A growing bulge is making its appearance under the fabric. The thought of seeing every part of his body is making you feral, and he senses your neediness because he pulls back and looks down at your hands playing with the rim of his sweatpants.
“I guess, technically, you still owe me telling you what to do for a day, because of our little bet and I wanna hear how fucking stupid you sound gagging on my dick. Can you do that?”
Seonghwa knows exactly what to say, because something switches inside of you, and you can’t wait to taste him. Feel him and have him all to yourself.
You nod and lower yourself to pull down his sweatpants along with his boxers. The sight of his cock is absolutely astonishing. It’s way bigger than you thought, and the veins running up and down make it look so pretty. Feeling excited to make Seonghwa feel as good as he made you feel, you lean down and start tracing your tongue on his shaft. Starting from the bottom, tongue flat against his cock you lick all the way to the head where pre-cum is glistening, earning a moan from Seonghwa.
Seonghwa’s eyes don't leave you for a second, but he grows slightly impatient when you decide to tease a little. The tip of your tongue traces along the veins of his hard cock, not ever taking him fully into your mouth. Looking up into his eyes as you do so, you see him growing more and more frustrated, his breath getting more and more uneven. Suddenly, his hand grabs your hair and yanks it down so you’re forced to look into his eyes. He bends down so your faces are close, having a look in his eyes you haven’t seen before, but it turns you on even more.
“One more tease and I will pin you down and pump you full of cum, understood?” He speaks just above a whisper, and the thought of him doing this to you tempts you to continue teasing him, but a part of you wants to hear him praise you. To say how good you are for him, so you put him in your mouth and start moving your head. He’s stretching your mouth because of how wide he is, but you’re determined to try and have all of him in your mouth.
“Mmm, good girl. Just like that.” Seonghwa praise makes you go faster, using your hands too. But wanting to see how much of him you can fit, you try to take all of him in your throat. Seonghwa’s hands are in your hair, carefully guiding you. The taste of pre-cum runs down your throat, and you feel your nose hit his pubic area, taking all of him in your mouth. You feel tears stinging in your eyes, and suddenly a gagging sound comes from your throat. Seonghwa pulls back, leaving strings of a mix between spit and precum between you and his cock. Finally being able to breathe properly, you gasp for air and a scoff leaves Seonghwa. “Aww, is it too much for you?”
He almost sounds like he’s mocking you, but you shake your head.
“N-No..” Your throat hurts a bit as you speak.
“You sound so cute,” He caresses his thumb on your cheek, babying you like you didn’t just choke on his cock. “Now tell me.. How bad do you wanna do this?” He pulls you up on your knees so you’re face to face, his hands steadying you. One of his hands goes under your chin, thumb running over your lips to smear out his precum on your lips.
“So bad, Seonghwa. I want this.” And you do. You’ve never felt so hungry for someone.
“That’s it. Now be a good girl and sit on my dick,”
It takes no time for you both to get onto the bed, Seonghwa lying down with you sitting on top of him. He strokes his cock a few times before lining it up at your entrance, teasing you.
“You think you can take this cock?” He asks, looking deeply into your eyes. You want to scoff, knowing it’s probably gonna be the biggest size you’ve ever had in you, but you won’t feed his ego with that information.
“Please, don’t think too highly of - ah!” Your sentence is interrupted by Seonghwa pushing his cock inside of you, slowly stretching you out.
“Sorry, what were you saying? I didn’t get that,” He teases, pushing you down so you’re taking him all inside of you. You can’t even think straight, the only thing in your brain is the feeling of him. “Isn’t it nice? Feeling so full?”
“Mh-hm.” You nod as you bite your lip, finally sitting down fully on top of him. He hits the right spot inside of you immediately, but he doesn’t move yet.
“Do you have any idea of how bad I’ve wanted this? Ever since the dinner night when you wore that fucking dress, I’ve wanted to fuck the shit out of you.” His hands run down your thighs, eyes taking in how you look on top of him. “I had to touch myself to the thought of you, but you already know that, don’t you? You’ve been listening on the other side of the door.” He smiles, and you meet his eyes. You’re too focused on his huge size that you can’t even find the ability to be embarrassed.
You try to move up so he can start going in and out of you, but his hands hold you down, keeping you from getting any friction.
“Seonghwa, please..”
“Please what?” He teases.
“Don’t tease me, please. Just move.” You beg, but he doesn’t look satisfied. ‘You can do better than that’ his expression says. An unsatisfied groan leaves you. “Please just fuck me. Fuck me and make me cum, please.”
A smile creeps up on his lips. “There you go, baby,”
Without warning, he switches you both around so he’s on top, angled between your legs. A deep thrust surprises you, making you gasp.
“Oh my god.” You moan, fingers gripping onto the sheets under you. Seonghwa continues to thrust deep into you, slowly increasing the speed. He sits up, angled so he gets a perfect view of his cock going in and out of your cunt.
“You can take it, can’t you? Like a good slut?” His hands grab your waist, now going at a fast pace. It’s hard to get any words out, your brain is completely shut off, but you manage to say a few words still.
“Yes, I know I can. Just for you.” You say, words barely pronounced right. This takes Seonghwa into a new world, leaning down to kiss your neck. Hands finding yours, he merges his fingers with yours as he starts whispering in your ear.
“That’s right, tell me what a slut you are. Tell me how fucking badly you need me to fuck you. Tell me every sick and twisted thing you want me to do to you.” He ordered, still going at a fast pace. His lips find your neck again, leaving kisses all over you.
“Fuck me. You can do anything you want with me. I’m yours and you can use me whenever you-” You don’t get to finish the sentence before another loud moan fights its way out of your mouth. You’re sure his name came out of your mouth too at some point, but right now, you don’t know. You don’t have any control over your body, you’re completely in Seonghwa’s control.
“Fuck, I love hearing you scream for me,” Seonghwa says in your ear, using one of his hands to hold your legs open for him as he continues to thrust. A smile tugs on his lips as you moan again. “You think your little waiter can make you feel so good?”
“No, only you can.” You don’t even have to think twice. You’re sure no one can make you feel this good besides Seonghwa.
“That’s right, let’s make sure you won’t forget that,” Seonghwa suddenly pulls out and sits up. He turns you around so you’re on your stomach, and you feel him positioning himself at your entrance again. Your legs are locked under him as he enters you again fully before hovering over you, back against his front as he fucks you into the mattress. His hands push you down, forcing you to just take him as you lie on the bed.
“Shit.. I wish you could see how fucking amazing you look with my cock in you. You’re so pretty.” He leans down to press multiple kisses on your shoulders, his fingers finding yours again to intertwine them. He hits your sweet spot with every thrust, and quickly you feel your second orgasm form in your stomach.
“Seonghwa, I-I’m gonna cum.” You say, head against the mattress. This only makes him go faster and deeper.
“Cum for me again, I know you can do it.” He says, and not a second passes before your legs are shaking and you clench around his cock. This makes Seonghwa moan loud too, feeling his orgasm approach at a fast pace.
“I gotta cum, baby.” He warns, fucking you fast and deep as he pounds you through your orgasm.
“Cum in me, please.” You moan, wanting him to release inside of you. You’re still in the middle of your orgasm when Seonghwa thrusts a last time before spilling his load inside of you. His moans are prettier than you could’ve ever imagined, way better than what you overheard, and you feel his warm cum spread inside of you, leaking out while he’s still inside.
“Fuck.. Shit, you feel so good.” He thrusts a few more times, wanting as much as possible to fill your hole, before losing the strength in his arms and relaxing on top of you.
You feel his heart beating fast against your back, both of your bodies sticky from the sweat. Deep and fast breaths are the only things heard in the room, both of you trying to get back to your normal breathing. You feel his hand run through your hair as soft kisses are placed on your shoulders. Without realizing, feeling a million emotions all at once, you can’t help but smile. He’s still inside of you, but you like it. This closeness, the amount of kisses he’s showering you with. It’s something you never expected to happen, but it has never felt better.
“Are you okay?” He asks caringly, removing some of your hair so he can see the side of your face.
You nod, getting back to your normal breathing.
“I think I need a new shower. I’m all sweaty.” You admit, feeling him remove himself from you. He places a last kiss on your temple before pulling out of you.
“That makes two of us.” He says before getting out of bed. You’re about to get up, but Seonghwa catches you by surprise and takes you up in his arms. He carries you to the bathroom in bridal style (not something new for you) and carefully, he places you on the bench in the huge shower. Your legs are weak after the intense session you two shared, so you’re thankful for him carrying you. He’s out of the bathroom a second later, leaving you confused, but he’s back a moment after with his sweatpants and some clothes for you.
Your eyes follow him as he’s in his own world, turning on the water.
“What are you doing?” You ask from your seat.
“You usually take up all the hot water. Let's share it this time,” Seonghwa holds out his hand for you to take. His eyes have a warmth in them, something so full of care that you couldn’t ever say no to this. You grab his hand and stand up, moving closer to him.
The shower is big enough for both of you, but you don’t move around much, only watching as Seonghwa adjusts the water to the right temperature and takes the loofah in his hands. He turns you around so your back is facing him, and you feel him start washing your body.
“You want your hair washed too?” He asks, his voice incredibly soft-spoken.
“No, just my body.” You smile, not knowing what to do. He doesn’t respond, just continues to use the loofah on your body to clean you. His front is against your back, but not once is there any hint of something sexual in the shower. Seonghwa doesn’t lead up to anything, only kisses your shoulder once in a while as his arms wrap around you to wash your front. You have sensed his caring side a few times on this trip, but this is a whole new level. You had no idea that Seonghwa could be this soft, especially with you.
The warm water washes over you, rinsing off the soap. You feel clean again and turn around to face him.
“Thank you.” You smile, and he leans in to kiss you softly on the lips.
“You’re welcome.” He smiles and washes himself too. He’s quick to finish, and you both walk out of the shower. The same thing happens when you have to dry yourself - Seonghwa does basically the entire thing, using a big towel to dry your body. He helps you in your underwear and in your sleeping t-shirt (except you notice it smells extremely like him, only to realize he grabbed one of his shirts for you to sleep in). He puts it over your head and smiles satisfied when you’re done.
“There we go, good as new.” He says and puts on his boxers and sweatpants.
“Why are you doing this?” You ask, not able to stop yourself. You were genuinely curious where all of this came from, so it wasn’t because you didn’t want him to. You had just never expected it.
“Doing what?”
“This..” Your arms point between you, to the shower, and around you. He takes a step closer to you and pushes some of your hair away from your face and behind your ear.
“Because we just had rough sex and I want to take care of you after,” He shrugs. You stare up at him, making him smile before he leans down to kiss you softly on the lips. It feels different than the other kisses like this one is full of something new. He pulls back, and you realize you miss his lips on yours already. “Also.. I think we both know that this was more than just a casual hookup.”
His voice is low like he’s scared that someone might hear, despite the two of you being the only ones home. But the words leave you with a million questions, but nowhere to start. Because before you realize what he said, he takes your hand and pulls you back into your bedroom. He’s in complete control of you, for some reason, your mind doesn’t work properly with him around you.
“C’mere.” He says, opening his arms when you both get in bed. Doing as he says, you get into his embrace, and he closes his arms around you. You feel his arm wrap around your waist as he pulls you closer to him, your back against his front. A kiss is placed on your temple as you just lie in the arms of the man you’ve fought with for most of your life, falling into a deep sleep.
***
You wake up to a bright room and stretch in your bed. As you look around, you realize that there is more space than you thought. Turning to your side, you find the bed empty and sit up, scanning the room for Seonghwa, but he is nowhere to be found.
Did he go back to his own room after you fell asleep?
A little confused, you get out of bed and walk to open the door and hear something downstairs. Someone is talking, and you immediately recognize your mom’s voice along with Seonghwa’s. You make your way to the kitchen downstairs, seeing your mom cleaning while Seonghwa is eating some cereal by the kitchen island. His back is turned to you, but you can tell he’s laughing at something your mom said.
“Good morning, honey!” Your mom says as she sees you enter the kitchen, and you make your way around it so you’re on the opposite side of Seonghwa. Trying not to make your mom feel any tension between you and Seonghwa, you casually sit down and grab a bowl and a spoon. You can’t help but look across the kitchen island to see Seonghwa smile at you, eyes lighting up. He bites his smile and tries to hide the tension too, not wanting your mom to know what happened between you two last night. “Slept well?” Your mom asks.
“Uhm, yeah. Very well.” You clear your throat and look up at Seonghwa again. He’s smirking to himself, looking down at his bowl of cereal. He’s wearing one of his white T-shirts now, similar to the one you’re wearing at the moment. It’s not like your families can’t know that you and Seonghwa might start seeing each other. But there’s no reason for them to know what the two of you did while the rest were out to dinner last night.
“So, are you ready for your date later?” Your mom asks, making both you and Seonghwa freeze. His smile is gone, eyes looking up at you with curiosity and… worry?
Your eyes flicker for a moment, as you had completely forgotten about your date with the waiter tonight. But after what happened last night, you’re not sure about this date. Especially not when a certain someone is sitting across from you, messy morning hair and sweatpants, yet you don’t think you’ve ever been more attracted to someone.
“Uhm..” You look at Seonghwa a last time before looking at your mom. “I don’t think I’ll go on a date with him, Mom.”
“Aww, how come?” She asks, curiosity evident in her voice.
“It won’t work out..” You say, not being able to tell her the entire truth. But the eyes you feel staring at you from across the kitchen island keep you from staying quiet. “Besides, I think I might like someone else.”
Seonghwa’s eyes look away from you, as he takes his empty bowl and starts cleaning it in the sink. You can’t see his face, but for a split second when he turned his face to the side, you saw him fighting back a smile.
“Really? Who?” Your mom's words wake you up from staring at Seonghwa, and you look back at her.
“I’ll tell you later on, it’s still pretty new and I have to figure out if he even likes me too.” You shrug, not even knowing what to say about your situation with Seonghwa. You’ve known each other your entire lives, not once have there been a hint of something romantic between you two. Not until this trip. But you would lie if you said that the things he has done for you on this trip didn’t wake up something in you. Something you didn’t know was there but was waiting to be woken up.
“Well, I hope it’s gonna work out for you, honey.” A smile tugs on your mother’s lips as he kisses the top of your head. She walks out of the kitchen, and just as her figure is out of sight, you feel a pair of lips kiss your cheek and arms wrap around you from behind.
You hold back your giggle as Seonghwa showers you with kisses but stops to look into your eyes.
“Good morning.” He smiles, still having his arms around you.
“Good morning.” You smile.
“So.. You’re really not gonna go on a date with him?” His voice is low, careful not to let everyone know what you’re talking about. You shake your head.
“Nah.. I figured I’d rather put my attention on someone else.” Your words turn on the light in Seonghwa’s eyes.
“Can I take you out when we get home, then?” He suggests, but you’re not done teasing him. Despite you and him possibly starting to date, you’ve still lived your entire life teasing each other. That’s not something you’re gonna stop doing, just because you’re dating.
“What makes you think I wanna date you?” You scoff and roll your eyes, looking down at your bowl of cereal. You feel his grip around you loosen as he reads your face. If only you knew what he was going to tease you back with when he leaned close to your ear.
“‘Seonghwa, fuck, oh Seonghwa.’” He imitates your words from last night, and you quickly push him away, a laugh escaping his lips.
“Stop! Don’t!” You say, not being able to hold back your own laugh from hearing his. He walked back closer to you, a teasing look on his face.
“Isn’t that how you sounded screaming my name last night?” He asked, eyebrow raised in a questioning manner.
“Alright! Alright alright alright,” You shake your head, wanting to move on from how you sounded last night. “You’re unhinged, you know that?”
“I’m just proving a point.” He shrugs.
“The point being what?”
“That you shouldn’t date anyone but me.” He smiles satisfied, like it’s common knowledge. A while ago, you would’ve laughed in his face if he said that to you, but now, it only makes the butterflies go crazy in your entire body. But of course, he can’t know (yet) how weak in the knees he’s making you, so you only respond with a casual answer.
“Fine, I guess.”
“Oh, I have a better idea,” His arms find their way around you again as you look up at him from your stool. “How about we go on a date here, and we’ll go out to eat in the restaurant where that waiter is working and he can see that we’re-”
“Nooo, no, no, we’re not doing that.” You stop him.
“Why?” He sounds genuinely confused.
“Because that’s gonna make everyone besides you uncomfortable, and you’re not gonna be dragging that poor man to the ground, again. He hasn’t done anything wrong, you know.” You defended, not wanting to stir any kind of drama. You just had to text the waiter that there wouldn’t be a date, but you’re thankful for the opportunity. But knowing Seonghwa, you’re not surprised by him coming up with this idea. You’re also earned with Seonghwa rolling his eyes at you.
“Boring, but fine. Is this how our relationship starts? With you telling me what not to do?” He asks, of course, a teasing smile apparent on his lips.
“When you’re being a menace, yes. And I might tell you what not to do, but if we do what we did last night.. Isn’t that a pretty good deal?” You suggest, watching as Seonghwa smiles even more while he holds you closer.
“Baby, you can tell me what to do and what not to do for the rest of our lives, if we can do what we did last night.” He leans closer, his lips barely touching yours. "I'd happily be your servant for the rest of time if you promise to stay with me."
“Sounds like a plan.” You smile satisfied.
“Can’t wait.” He finally presses his lips against yours, making the fireworks in your body go crazy. Your mind goes blank again, falling into the deep hole of Seonghwa, wishing to stay there forever.
Taglist:
@canigotosleep--plz @miyajack @uyumilk @hhoneylix @staytiny816 @skzscb @yeologist @likexaxdaydream @yunsara @hrtniki @dazzlingstarrs @mingiturnip @vannabanana1995 @xoxominghxe @stfu-rina
(I only have a main taglist, lmk if you wanna be added <3)
#ateez fic#ateez smut#kpop fic#ateez x reader#ateez seonghwa#kpop imagines#ateez#ateez scenarios#kpop scenarios#kpop smut#kpop fanfic#park seonghwa#ateez fluff#atz x reader#atz smut#atz fanfic#ateez fanfic#ateez au#atz
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𐙚🧸ྀི 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲'𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐢𝐬 "𝐦𝐨𝐦"
domestic fluff. established relationship. sulky and pouty seventeen. dad!svt + mom!reader.
s.coups
choi seungcheol - whiny™, pouty™, sulky™ - would never forgive you, he’d treat it as the biggest treason against him (as if it was your fault that your baby decided to say “mom” as their first word). he spent so much time repeating the word “da” and “dada” that he was 99% sure one of those would be its first word. but when you heard “ma” coming out of your baby’s mouth, and not “scoups is the best father ever”, cheol was so so dramatic about it. he refused to acknowledge you for the next week, which turned out to be quite problematic as you had a literal small human being to raise together.
jeonghan
your baby turned out to be as much of a gremlin as his father, so of course - even though jeonghan spent hours on saying different versions of the word “dad” around your baby - it did the exact opposite. it said a loud and clear “ma”, as if trying to get back at his father for… whatever reason. jeonghan wouldn’t be as dramatic as coups, but he’d still talk your ear off for some time, about how unfair it was and how you probably manipulated the child to say “ma” instead of “da”.
joshua
for some reason a lot whiner about that than you thought he’d be. you had a feeling that the baby’s first word would not be “dad” (and that was definitely not because you took your time to repeat the word “mom” around it) (joshua did the same when you weren’t around, just with “dad”) (so it kind of turned into a silent competition of who had more influence on the baby’s brain i guess). so when shua “lost” he turned into a big drama queen - not really that bothered by the “ma” coming from his baby, but at losing against you.
jun
he just straight up panics for some reason, because what do you mean his baby is talking now??? when it was just this big 🤏🏼 couple of weeks ago??? (it’s still ridiculously small, especially when he’s the one holding it, and any other person wouldn’t say that the baby was talking per say…). jun is just really overwhelmed by how fast everything is going that he doesn’t pay too much attention to what the word was exactly. maybe that’s just because he never really cared about what it’d be in the first place.
hoshi
immediate beef with the baby. soonyoung didn’t just spend these past weeks saying “dad”, “dada”, “da” and any other variant of the word for it to say “ma” in the end. the audacity of his firstborn to say anything other than “dad” was unbelievable, and hoshi took it upon himself to try and erase the word “mom” from its little brain and replace it with a proud and loud “dad”. well - that did not work, and whenever soonyoung tried to make the baby repeat the sound “da” he got a “ma” every single time. he was sure his child had a personal vendetta against him.
wonwoo
not bothered by it at all. to be honest wonwoo didn’t even catch what the baby had said, or tried to say, he just ran as fast as he could to get the camera BECAUSE HIS BABY JUST SAID SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST A BABBLE!!! he’d spend the rest of the day with his little one in his arms trying to make it say “ma” over and over again, smiling like an idiot every time he heard that cute little sound. (after a while, though, he’d be like “okay that’s enough, now say “da”).
woozi
something in him melts when he hears a faint “ma” coming from his baby. did he hope that its first word would be “dad”? sure. was he going to be dramatic over the fact that it wasn’t? nope. at this point, it’s still surreal to jihoon that he’s holding a literal child, his child, in his arms, so what it said didn’t really matter to him. it wasn’t like he could force it to say “dad” anyway, so why waste his energy on being dramatic over it? the baby still had so much time to learn all of the words in this world, and he was more than happy to wait for a “dad”.
dk
could not care less, period. the baby’s first could be “poop” for all he cared, and he’d still jump around the house screaming his lungs out that his child just said its first word. in fact, seokmin pushed the “mom” agenda more than the “dad” one, because in his mind - you deserved it more. besides, just because the baby said “mom” first didn’t mean it loved him any less, and with how many “baby guidance books” he had read before the baby was born, dk knew that the sound “ma” was just easier to say for the baby.
mingyu
you had to give it to him - gyu really tried his best not to show how much it bothered him that its first word wasn’t a sound resembling “dad”. he didn’t want you to think that he was disappointed by your baby’s first word, and deep down he knew how irrational it was for him to sulk over something that neither of you had control over. but the pout mingyu had on his face whenever he held your baby told you just how much he wished it had rather said “da”. gyu quickly got over it - he wouldn’t let something as silly as that distract him from the fact that your little one just said their first word.
minghao
actually, he’s over the moon when he hears your baby utter a quiet “ma”. there’s no other person that deserves this more than you - you, who carried that small human being for nine months, who spent hours in the bathroom throwing your guts up, who went through all that pain. you gave hao everything he could’ve ever dreamed of - love, safety, and a family, so there’s no part of him that’s disappointed in the baby’s first word.
seungkwan
on one hand, he feels so proud and so happy - boo never knew his heart could be filled with so much love for such a tiny human being as when he heard its first word, but then again… of course most fathers hope that their baby first word would be “dad”, so there is some disappointment there. but after he sees your bright smile when you're holding your little one, and how excited you got by the “ma” - all the disappointment vanishes. there’s no point in being sulky over something that he has no control over.
vernon
he was so caught off guard when you suddenly started freaking out over your baby, and when you told him that it had just said “mom”, vernon did not believe you. he was like “na ah, it was just another babble.” (he was just in denial) (what do you mean his baby is talking now?). so he spent the next hour kneeling in front of the baby and trying to make it repeat the “ma” again so he could hear it too (turns out his child is very stubborn and only said “ma” in your presence).
dino
you were sitting in a double rocking chair with your baby, when suddenly you both heard a tiny sound, awfully resembling the sound “ma”. chan could not care less about it not being a “da”, he was just so happy to hear your precious bundle of love say something. besides, chan never really cared whether “mom” or “dad” would be the baby’s first word - all he wanted was for you both to be safe and healthy, so if it decided to say “ma” first then he was more than happy to keep repeating the “ma” for the baby.
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#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen kpop#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen carat#seventeen reaction#seventeen requests#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#woozi#wen junhui#wonwoo#vernon#svt#seungkwan#dino#svt woozi#mingyu#minghao#hoshi#chwe vernon
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❥ OHMAMI | hajime iwaizumi
warnings: timeskip! iwaizumi, fem! reader, car sex, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, hickeys, degradation, manhandling, slight fingering, finger-sucking, riding, oikawa is mentioned a lot tbh, protective and possessive iwa
MDNI | 18+ content
word count -> 4.9k
a/n: okay i started this in early june and now im finishing it so im sorry if it doesnt make sense aaaa
❥ song: OHMAMI - chase atlantic
Iwaizumi was never the one people thought of when asked who their favorite member of the Aoba Johsai team was. He grew to accept it over time, albeit with spite and anger. Everyone was always wrapped up in what Oikawa was doing, wondering who would be his next girlfriend of the week. It was gross how Oikawa hogged all the girls; how could he be so selfish? Fucking jackass.
Naturally, it was a relief when he graduated. Sure, Aoba Johsai never went to nationals (and yes, it very much stung), but the memories were important, right? Hitting perfect spike after spike, smacking Oikawa around, hearing that glorious school cheer, Iwaizumi had to admit he would miss it. Not the part where Oikawa kept all the girls to himself.
Graduation came and went, and so did university. It was a breeze. Sports medicine was not a challenging major; he was just really good at the subject. Another graduation came, and Iwaizumi could only think about you and that pretty, perfect face. You were his closest friend in high school, and sadly, you drifted apart during university. You were studying Japanese literature or something, he didn’t remember. It’s not his fault; he was just too busy getting girls for the first time in a while. Totally not his fault…right?
Iwaizumi wasn’t doing himself any fucking favors, he thought about you too much for his own good. Whether Aoba Johsai lost or how insufferable Oikawa was, you were always there for him. You let him lean against your shoulder and complain about his day, his disheveled and messy uniform giving him an even more thuggish appearance. The way your soft, almost angelic hands massaged his scalp, assuring him that he would be okay. Oh, how he longed for your fingers in his spiky hair again. He had forgotten your scent, your sweet floral scent. Was it roses or lavender? Maybe lilac? Although all the girls in high school wore the same body sprays, yours was different. Was it because you were never scared of him to begin with? Fuck, he missed you.
He sat on the bench in the empty locker room of the gym he worked at, a hot towel draped around broad shoulders as he began to lose himself in his fond high school memories. Images danced around in his mind of your sweet face smiling at him for the first time, the words “Don’t worry, I’ll help you study for the English test!” leaving your soft lips. At least, Iwaizumi thought they were soft. No, he knew they were soft. God, you were so kind to him. You even ignored Oikawa’s advances towards you, which made him blush and gain so much respect for you in an instant. “Man, I’d really like to punch that guy in his dumb face.” you snickered, covering your bright smile. Iwaizumi swore he could marry you right then and there.
From that moment on, he was your closest friend. You went to all his practices and games, cheering for him when no one else would. “Nice kill, Iwa!” you would shout from the bleachers, proudly wearing a spare version of his jersey. His jersey. If Iwaizumi had no supporters, you were dead. The two of you were inseparable until university rolled around, and Iwaziumi became stupidly popular with the ladies. And sure, college girls were pretty and incredibly loose, but they weren’t you. No one was you, and he missed you every day.
Iwaizumi grunted as he stood up, tossing the towel into a basket. He stepped out of the locker room with his hands in his pockets, whistling a song from his cardio playlist. It was around ten at night, and his gym was one of the few open so late, so there wasn’t anyone there except the front receptionist girl who flirted with every guy who walked in. Truly, he couldn’t ask for better entertainment.
“Yo,” Iwaizumi leaned across the desk, stealing an electrolyte drink from the employee minifridge. There’s no one here; you should just go home. It’s getting late.” The cool drink touched his lips, the cherry flavoring subtle. “If the boss gives you any crap, you can blame me. I don’t mind.”
The receptionist eagerly stood up and practically ran out the door, throwing her time card at him. “Clock me out!” she shouted halfway out the automatic door. Iwaizumi sighed and shoved the time card in his sweats. She really was a ditz, but at least she got people to sign up for VIP memberships.
He clocked her out and went to his favorite spot in the gym where he usually deadlifts. Unfortunately, there was no one to spot him. Iwaizumi was a jock, but he certainly wasn’t dumb. There was no way he was dying because he got crushed by a fucking barbell. There is no chance in hell.
His rough and calloused hands decided just to lift weights instead. That was simpler, more safe. He flipped on his headphones and selected a tune from his more…sensual playlist. It's a sensual indie R&B song that could make anyone feel like a sex god. Why was that song on his playlist? He couldn’t tell you. Once again, Iwaizumi became lost in his thoughts as he lifted the weights up and down with such ease. He worked out for health benefits, but just something about staring at his physique in the mirror made it all worth it. Damn, did he look fine as hell. He was ashamed of how long it took him to realize that he was stupidly attractive, and it took a lot of skill not to develop a massive ego around his looks.
The automatic doors slid open, the dinging sound drowned out by his noise-canceling headphones. His green eyes locked on the floor mat below him, concentrating on passing the time by any means necessary. He paused briefly when he saw two tiny white sneakers enter his field of vision, standing considerably close to his muscular form. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled, placing the weights on the ground. “Music’s loud, y’know?” His eyes trailed upwards until they finally met your gaze, his pupils shrinking in shock. His hands gripped his headphones, softly filling the room with sensual music. “Holy shit.” Iwaizumi’s mouth was agape. He looked like a fool. “Uh, hi.”
“Hi, Iwa.” you smiled brightly, taking his headphones from his rough hands and placing them around his thick neck. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Three years, I think.” Fuck, he forgot how much smaller your hands were to his own. It’s so cute.
“Three years since university, yeah,” Iwaizumi mumbled, wiping the glistening sweat away from his forehead. “I can’t believe it’s been that long. You don’t look any different. Not that it’s a bad thing!” he stumbled on his words, silently cringing at his immature actions. He never got this flustered. He hasn’t been in a while. Less than a minute talking to you, and he was a stammering mess. This wasn’t like him at all. His tough persona might as well be tossed out the window.
You offered him another sweet smile and rubbed his shoulder, the sweat not bothering you in the slightest. “Change is a good thing, y’know,” your words were gentle and comforting, oozing with wisdom beyond your years. Another thing Iwaizumi thought was perfect about you was that you always knew the right thing to say. “You’ve changed too. You’re way more buff than the last time we saw each other!”
“Damn right,” he smirked, subtly flexing his biceps. Were you looking? He hoped so. “I’m a personal trainer, so I gotta stay in shape. Plus, I train Oikawa, so whenever I’m pissed off, I just do a couple sets.”
“You still hang out with Oikawa? I thought you hated him.” you raised an eyebrow, placing a hand on your hips quizically.
“I’m getting paid to tell him what workouts he should do. Can’t complain about that money,” Iwaizumi rubbed the back of his head, fluffing out his spiky hair. “Besides, I’m allowed to kick his ass whenever I want. That asshole deserves it. He somehow got even more cocky after he got back from Argentina.”
You rolled your eyes and found a nearby workout bench, crossing your legs over each other. “I didn’t think Loserkawa could become even more full of himself. You’d think being in a foreign country would humble him slightly.”
“Right?” a deep chuckle escaped his chapped lips as Iwaizumi sat beside you, minding the distance. He bit down on his lower lip slightly, just for a moment. Would you mind if he sat closer to you, like in high school? “He even started speaking Spanish, but he’s not allowed to do that around me.”
“Because you’ll throw a dumbbell at him?”
“Because I’ll throw a dumbbell at him.”
You giggled and scooted closer to Iwaizumi, the scent of sweat mixed with his cologne filling your nostrils. He smelled more mature than in high school, but that’s a given. “I see you’re still the same ol’ spikey-haired guy.” you ruffled his hair, knowing that you were the only one who could do that without getting a beatdown.
Iwaizumi blushed, averting his eyes from your gaze. Fuck, he really missed your touch. “So, uh, what brings you to the gym? Were you looking for a membership or something?”
You shook your head, casually wrapping your arm around his shoulder. Were you trying to kill him? “Nah. If I’m being honest, I saw you in one of the windows while I was out for an evening walk. It’s been a while, so I wanted to say hi.” You momentarily looked down at your shoes, a faint blush gracing your cheeks. “Besides, I missed you.”
“You walked here by yourself? At night? Are you crazy?” Iwaizumi shouted, grasping your shirt to pull you closer. “It’s not safe at night. You didn’t have anyone to protect you! Do you know how stupid that sounds?” his nostrils flared, a mixture of anxiety and rage overcoming him. “What if something happened?”
You gasped, your brow furrowing. “Well, excuse me! I didn’t know I needed permission from someone I haven’t spoken to in three years to take a fucking walk!” you ripped his hand away from your shirt.
Iwaizumi groaned, hanging his head. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just…” he took a deep breath. “It’s not safe for someone like you at night, and I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you because you wanted to see me.”
You rolled your eyes and pulled his chin up, staring into his oceans of green. “Just because you’re worried about someone doesn’t give you an excuse to be an asshole about it,” you smiled in assurance. “Next time, I’ll bring something to defend myself. Okay?”
Iwaizumi smirked. “You’re the only person allowed to call me an asshole, y’know that? If you were anybody else, I’d beat your skull in.
“Then I’m lucky that I happen to still be Hajime Iwaizumi’s favorite person after all these years,” you bit down on your lower lip. “Unless…you have a girlfriend. Then she’s probably your favorite person.”
“No girlfriend, I don’t have the time,” he shook his head, moving himself closer. “I had a girlfriend before, but then-”
“Oikawa took her from you?” you cut him off.
“Fucking Oikawa took her from me. He dated her for two weeks, then dumped her for someone he met at a bar. Can you believe that?” he clenched his fist.
“Unfortunately, I can,” you gave an exasperated sigh. “I guess Oikawa will always be Oikawa.”
“God help us,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “Hey, I gotta lock up the gym. Can you wait outside, and then I can drive you home?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? I don’t wanna be a bother.”
“Why would you be a bother? I’m just keepin' you safe, dummy.” Iwaizumi assured you, getting up and brushing off his pants. “Wait here. I’ll come to get you. I don’t want you standing outside. There’s a lot creeps around here who want nothing more than to get close to a pretty girl like you.” he turned around, not realizing that he had just complimented you. You were left with a brighter blush on your face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Did Iwaizumi think you were pretty after all this time?
Eventually, he finished what he needed to do to close up the gym: he wiped down all the machines and ensured everything was organized for the morning shift. He grabbed you by the wrist and practically dragged you out of the gym, having an unusually tight grip.
“Dude, what are you doing? I know how to walk,” you tugged your wrist away from his hand, rubbing it. “You’re acting weird. Did something happen when you were cleaning up? “I just don’t want you to stray too far, that’s all. Keep close to me, or else I might end up killing somebody.” he shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweats, making his way to the car. He was weirdly protective over you, but it only bothered you slightly.
Having your big, strong best friend wanting nothing more than to keep you safe in a parking lot was…well, it was sexy. Iwaizumi was sexy, and he knew it. You wondered if he knew that you thought so, too. How, when you were in high school, you would daydream about him pinning you against the wall and kissing you until you couldn’t breathe. How your mind would wander in college, staring at him from across the dining hall, watching as he unconsciously flexed his biceps in such a way that made you swoon every single time.
With his hand wrapped protectively over your shoulder, he clicked the keyfob and unlocked his car. It was a larger vehicle, boasting proud rims on the tires. “You can get in the passenger seat. I have snacks in the glove compartment if you’re hungry.”
“Since when do you have snacks in the car?” you sat in the passenger seat, buckling up. “That doesn’t seem very healthy, Mr. Personal Trainer.” you giggled, making air quotes.
He playfully rolled his eyes, getting into the driver's seat. “I have to drive long distances for work sometimes. So, to keep me sane, I keep little snacks in my glove compartment. Granola and crap like that. Protein bars.”
“Oh, so snacks that aren’t actually snacks?” you winked.
“Shut up,” he clicked his seatbelt in, revving the car. “Do you wanna choose what we listen to or not? Also, type your address into the GPS while at it.”
“Or I could look through your messages.”
Iwaizumi shot you a glare. “Don’t even joke about that.”
You giggled, typed in your address, and then opened Spotify. “You have a lot of playlists. Why?”
He shrugged his shoulders, flexing the muscles. Fuck, he was so fucking sexy. “I dunno, I guess I just have one for every occasion. When you’re working with Oikawa, music typically helps,” he smirked, raising an eyebrow. “You can pick from any song on any playlist.”
“Then I choose this one,” you selected OHMAMI, handing him back his phone. “It’s from your playlist that has a heart emoji as the title. What’s that for?”
Iwaizumi felt his face become overrun with a blazing blush. His hands gripped the steering wheel as he pulled out of his parking spot, turning the car towards the exit. “Oh, uh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“But I wanna know!” you whined, crossing your arms over your chest. “C’mon, we just caught up a second ago, but you never kept any secrets from me.”
He sighed and bit down on his bottom lip. “Fuck, okay. Fine,” he took a deep breath. “It’s…this song is from my sex playlist. Specifically from college.”
Your pupils blew up, your hand immediately flying to your mouth to stifle a chuckle. “You have a sex playlist? And this is a song on it?”
“That’s what I just fucking said, didn’t I?” his face was red and anger and embarrassment. “See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you!”
“Iwa,” you tapped his thigh. “Sorry for laughing. It’s just that sex playlists are usually romantic and, no offense, but you never seemed like a romantic kind of guy.”
He furrowed his brow. “I can be romantic, “ he made a sharp left turn. “I just haven’t had a reason to in a while, that’s all.”
“Aw, I’m sorry, man,” you pouted. “I’m sure someone will come along that can make you want to use this playlist again.” you smiled at him, flashing your teeth.
“Yeah, hopefully,” Iwaizumi sighed, stealing a glance at you. You were perfect, absolutely perfect. He was mentally kicking himself for not making a move. But then again, there was a sexy song playing, so the mood was set. Maybe you wouldn’t mind if his hand squeezed your thigh, dancing lower and lower. Maybe you wouldn’t mind at all.
He continued to drive, the music from the stereo being the only thing to prevent the car from being silent. His mind wandered places: obscene, filthy places. He wondered what noises you would make if he ate your pussy out in the passenger seat. Would you taste as sweet as he imagined? Iwaizumi just knew your pussy was tight, how it would flutter around his cock as he bounced you up and down on it in the backseat, your hand flat against the roof of his car with the music blaring. He was so deep in thought that he neglected to realize the tent growing in his sweats. But you noticed.
Your eyes darted back and forth to his hard-on, squeezing your legs together at the sight. You suspected he was hiding a monster down there, and now you were sure of it. Surprisingly, Iwaizumi never got hard around you before today, at least not to your knowledge. It was like it was calling you to, desperate for your hands to slide up and down.
“Uh, Iwa?” you groaned, crossing your legs over each other.
“Hm?” he didn’t take his eyes off the road.
“You have like…a huge boner right now.” you blushed furiously, cringing to yourself. Could you have chosen a more awkward set of words?
Iwaizumi choked on his breath, swerving the car slightly. He glanced down at his sweats, and lo and behold, he was hard. “O-Oh, fuck. Shit, that wasn’t supposed to happen.” he groaned, clenching onto the steering wheel once more.
You squirmed in your seat. “Hey man, don’t worry about it. You can’t control when you get hard, right? S’not a problem.”
He thought for a moment, mumbling under his breath. He canceled the navigation and pulled the car into a parking lot by an abandoned gas station frequented by local teenagers. Luckily, there was no one there right now. “I can’t,” he breathed in, refusing to meet your gaze. “I can’t control it when I’m around you,” he parked the car. “You drive me so fucking crazy.”
You squeezed onto the leather seats, your face still blazing red. “You’re telling me that I made your dick hard?”
“Yeah, that’s what I just fucking said.” he groaned, unclicking his seatbelt. His eyes finally met yours, full of want. “You made me hard, princess.”
Princess. The nickname rang in your ears. Fuck, it was like hot honey rolling off his chapped lips. “Iwa…” you breathed out, gasping as he tugged on the collar of your shirt, pulling you closer to him. The center console was the only thing that separated you two.
“Princess,” he whispered. “I’ve wanted you for so fucking long. Ever since you said, you wanted to punch Shittykawa in the face.”
“Really?”
“Really.” his eyes landed on your lips, beautiful and begging to be kissed. “I’ve wanted you for so fucking long. Please,” his hot breath grazed your cheek. “Please tell me that you want me to. But I’m warning you right now,” he kissed your burning skin. “Once you tell me you do, I won’t hold myself back anymore.”
A sensation began to bubble inside your belly, his words causing your core to throb with want. You parted your lips, wetting them with your tongue. “Iwa,” your voice was barely a whisper. “Please, I want you.”
Iwaizumi let go of your shirt, his eyes flaring with passion and lust. “Get in the backseat, now.” he growled, climbing over the center console. You eagerly followed him, finding a spot on his lap. His hands secured themselves on the fat of your hips, making sure you didn’t go anywhere. It's not like you wanted to, anyway.
“I’ve been waiting for this for so fucking long, princess,” he groaned before slamming his lips against yours in a frenzy. His lips assaulted yours, greedy and shameless. Your mind became TV static, your lips dancing with his as if it was a reflex, as if you had done this a million times before. You moaned into the kiss as he groped you without a care, his hands slipping under the hem of your gym shorts. You gasped as his warm hands wandered, exploring you as if he was attempting to map out your perfect curves.
His hand was scolding hot as it ventured to finger the elastic, ripping the cheap fabric. He swallowed your surprised gasp, smirking into the kiss. “Fuckin’ cheap fabric,” he growled, his hand massaging up and down your panties. “I’ll buy you a new pair, don’t worry, your pretty lil’ head about it.”
Iwaizumi broke the kiss, resting his head in the crook of your neck while his fingers continued their gentle dance across your clothed, dripping cunt. The digits ran up and down the soaked material, causing him to shudder. “Fuck, you’re this wet from just a kiss?” he groaned against your neck, the sharpness of his canines grazing the sensitive skin. He could have sworn he could hear your heartbeat coming from the veins. Your pulse was thundering, it was fucking addictive. His lips ventured up and down your delicate neck, leaving wanting, open-mouthed kisses in the spots that made you squirm so beautifully on your lap. His teeth nibbled down on your sweet spot, causing your hips to buck into his hard-on.
“Needy fucking girl,” his voice rumbled, fingers dipping into your panties to toy with your sobbing slit. You whimpered, resting your forehead onto his own as the calloused pads of his thick fingers teased your clit. “Fuck, you’re soaked. D’ya even need me to finger this pussy, or are you such a fucking slut that you’re this wet all the time?” his hands cracked against your ass. “Hm? Talk to me, princess.”
“Only you!” you yelped. Iwaizumi chuckled darkly, lifting his head from your neck to greet you with a blown-out stare. His eyes told you everything you needed to know; they told you that he wanted to fucking ruin you on his cock like he’s been wanting to all these years.
“That’s what I like to fucking hear,” he slapped your ass again, making you gasp and jolt. His lips quickly met yours once more as his finger bullied its way inside your cunt, curling inside without mercy or forgiveness. “Shit, you’re squeezing around my finger. Do you really need to get fucked that fucking bad, hm? Is my girl a little slut?”
“M’not a slut!” you sobbed, tossing your head back. Your hands gripped his muscular shoulders with white-hot-knuckle strength, making Iwaizumi hiss in pain. Not that he was complaining. He fucking loved it.
“Fuck, I can’t take this anymore,” he pulled his finger out of your weeping cunt, licking off your slick. “Ya taste so fucking good, shit,” he groaned, sliding off his sweatpants and boxers so that his cock could spring free. You moaned at the sight, taking in his magnificent length. He was small by no means necessary, boasting a lengthy and girthy cock with an angry red tip that was leaking precum. “Turn around and hover above it.”
You did as he instructed, pushing your ruined panties to the side so your pulsating core was just above his angry cock. His hands snaked around the small of your waist, pulling your flush up against his chest. “You’re gonna be a good fucking slut and let me fuck you on this cock, yeah? If I think you’re being too quiet for even a second,” his voice dropped to a deadly whisper. “I’m gonna fuck you stupid.”
“Iwa,” your words died on your tongue as his fingers were abruptly shoved into your mouth, making you gag.
“Don’t fucking call me Iwa,” he demanded, his cock teasing your entrance. “It’s Hajime now. Don’t be a dumbass and forget it when I’m breaking you on this cock. Am I clear, pretty girl?”
You nodded, tears swelling in your eyes. His fingers slid out of your mouth and back onto your hips, squeezing the fat. “Be a good little slut and take this cock,” he growled, biting down harshly onto your neck before slamming you onto his cock without mercy, refusing to give your tight pussy anytime to adjust.
“Oh god, yes,” Iwaizumi moaned against your neck, bouncing you expertly on his length. His eyes were hooded with lust and desire as he looked over your shoulder. The sight of your pussy swallowing his cock was magnificent. Especially how you struggled to take his length, you poor thing. Maybe he’ll be nicer to you next time. “Do you see yourself, princess? That pretty pussy is swallowing me whole. Good fucking girl.”
You writhed and squirmed on his lap, helpless as Iwaizumi used you like a toy. His hands reached around to pull down your top, exposing your bralette to the hot atmosphere. He pulled your bra down as well, shamelessly pinching and squeezing your pillowy mounds as his cock drove itself inside you with reckless abandon.
“Y’been hiding these perfect tits from me too? Naughty fucking girl,” his hand dropped your breast and smacked your clit, earning a shriek from your bruised lips. “Can’t believe I waited this fucking long to grope these tits, fuck. I wonder what else you’re hiding, hm?” his hips never relented, continuing their rushed and desperate pace in harsh and fast strokes.
“You look like such a slut right now. God, I wish I could see that pretty face,” he purred against the shell of your ear, licking the cartilage. His praise was so fucking addictive, making you shamelessly clench on his cock. “Oh, y’like when I call you pretty? Get fucking used to it.”
“I’m gonna make you ruin yourself on me,” his voice rasped, the tip of his cock twitching inside of you. “You’re gonna cum all over this fucking cock, and then I’ll cum inside, yeah? No one’s ever gonna fuck this pretty cunt again unless I say so. Until your Hajime says so, okay, princess?” he smacked your clit again, gathering your slick on his fingers. “Who’s the only one that can fuck this pretty pussy?”
“You! It’s yours, Hajime!” you sobbed, the rest of your meaningless rambling dying on your lips as he shoved his fingers inside your mouth once more. Your tongue wrapped around the digits, tasting your delicious slick. Your pussy fluttered around his cock, trying to pull him impossibly deeper inside of you. You were so fucking greedy.
Iwaizumi snarled against your neck, fucking you even harder. His hips continued to snap as he drove himself deeper and deeper inside, the sensation of your pussy doing its best to milk him being all that he needed. “You’re gonna fucking cum, yeah? That’s it, princes, make a fucking mess on me. Get your Hajime all sticky with your cum like a good fucking girl.”
With Iwaizumi’s encouragement, you finally let go. You came with a wanton sob, the bubbles in your belly boiling over to send you crashing over the edge and into oblivion. You could have sworn you saw white. Iwaizumi fucked you through it, whispering sweet nothings as your release coated his cock.
“Oh, shit,” he groaned into your neck, biting down once more on the bruised skin as his cock twitched one final time, his release spilling inside to fill your cunt up so nicely. “Good fucking girl, take it all.” his hands fell to his hips, slumping against the leather seat.
“Hajime,” you groaned, reluctantly pulling yourself off his cock. His cum ran down your ruined thighs, mixing with your slick. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that.” you offered him a weak smile, staring at your ripped and forgotten-about jean shorts. “Dammit, you ripped them! These were my favorite pair. And now I don’t have any pants!” you scolded him, hitting him over the head with the fabric. “We’re in a parking lot, and I have no damn pants!”
“Relax,” he sighed, pulling up his pants and boxers. “Did you forget I was driving you home? Besides,” he pecked your lips. “I’m coming over, and we’re gonna cuddle and shit. Whatever you want.” he blushed, not meeting your gaze. He was still scared of you seeing him blush even after you were so intimate.
“Whatever I want?” you teased. “You’re cute when you get all flustered, Hajime.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
#haikyuu smut#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#timeskip iwaizumi#hajime iwaizumi#iwaizumi hajime#iwaizumi smut#iwaizumi x reader#aoba johsai
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A Hill to Die On, ch3
masterpost CW crude talk and suggestive themes Some of this isn't much read through and I know some parts are clunky, but I've had a migraine for a week and a half now. Please no concrit/editing. It will get a good edit before it's final version for Ao3!
Text turned out to be fine. Good even. Danny was busy a lot, so Tim (and Caroline) often had to wait between small strings of communication, but that made it sort of special when they did hear back. It turned out that Danny not only worked as a mechanic at a custom shop, was working on his own bike, but also went to school to get his mechanical engineering degree at Gotham U (with summer gen ed course done at one of the cheaper community colleges).
Tim hadn’t been brave enough to suggest they meet up on campus, in case someone recognized him, but he did tell Danny he went to Gotham U also. He was glad that Danny didn’t push them to meet up there either. Maybe he was just too busy.
As busy as he was, something Danny seemed to love doing was to send photos, all sorts of photos. He sent selfies, sure, but also pictures of the sunsets. Any cute animals he saw (which apparently included the campus crows he was befriending) and his cooking attempts. Pictures of the bikes and cars he worked on as well as his own beast.
Tim hadn’t been able to help but wonder if Danny would let Alvin bend him over the Frankenstein of a bike that Danny was building and fuck him.
They hadn’t gotten around to talking about the things that Danny liked and if being on that end of an encounter was one of them. They really hadn’t talked about anything sexual other than one night when Tim hadn’t been able to sleep (like too many nights) and Danny had called him. Tim had almost fumbled the phone when it started ringing.
Instead of trying to suggest all the usual things like warm milk or relaxing from the toe tips up, Danny had talked Tim through finger himself. Danny’s low words and firm instructions—including making Tim wait—were a contrast to Tim’s own begging that Danny insisted he wanted to hear.
Tim had been almost asleep by the time there was the bitten back moan of Danny coming too.
While Tim could think of a hundred ways to start the conversation, none of them seemed the right way to explain that it wasn’t just ‘Lin’ and Caroline, but also Alvin. And what Alvin wanted was to fuck Danny until he was begging and then fuck him all over again. (And maybe again.) It felt like being dishonest with Danny and that ate at Tim, especially as they started to see each other in person again.
Danny reached out across the table and laid his hand down, palm up.
It was such a little thing, but the simple consideration warmed Tim. Danny was letting Tim choose if he wanted to hold Danny’s hand right then. When Caroline and Danny had been out on a date, Danny had just wrapped his fingers loosely up in hers time and time again. But with Tim, Danny acted differently. Danny acted like he got it.
Tim reached out and traced his fingers over the lines of Danny’s palm.
“What’s bothering you?”
Tim glanced up across the table. “Hum?”
“Somethings bothering you,” Danny said, more a repeat than a clarification, though he wasn’t wrong. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Tim bought himself some time by taking a long sip of his drink. He knitted his fingers with Danny’s.
“So, Caroline and I… we’re…”
How did Tim talk about any of this? He hadn’t before, not to anyone. His caped friends and family just thought of Caroline and Alvin as covers. Out of the capes… he didn’t think they thought about Caroline and Alvin at all. Why would they? Tim wasn’t exactly the most gender normal so if he was a little more fem or masc why would they catch on that it was less about Tim and more about… well, someone else?
“Dissociative Disorder, right?” Danny asked after a long silence. “Which I know, I really hate the word disorder in that. Caroline isn’t some disorder, she’s an important part of you. But it’s not exactly standard DID because you keep some memories when you’re her, right? Sorry, my sister is a psychologist so I did a little looking into things.”
“I, yes,” Tim agreed with a blink. That sounded like what he’d found in his research too. He knew he should bring this up to his therapist, but, well, he had wanted more information first. It helped him feel more settled. (He felt anything but settled right then.) “I guess because I do remember, I didn’t always think of her as… separate as I’ve been realizing she is.”
“Okay,” Danny said patiently. “Is there anything you need me to do differently now that you have? Or anything I can do to make either of you more comfortable?”
Tim couldn’t help but smile as he shook his head. “No, you’ve been really great, with both of us.”
Danny nodded, what little of his own tension there had been from the conversation practically evaporated from his shoulders.
Tim looked down at their hands. “It’s just… it’s because of that. You’ve been so great with both Caroline and me that I feel horrible that—it’s just… there’s one more? And I don’t know if that’s going to be too much for you entirely. Because I would totally understand, this is a lot already without dealing with Alvin too and—”
“Hey, Lin, take a breath for me, darlin’,” Danny urged with a soft squeeze of their hands. “It’s okay, I’m still right here.”
Tim took a breath and then a few more for good measure.
“What you’re saying is that there’s Lin, Caroline, and also Alvin?”
Tim nodded.
“Okay. Okay… does… do you know what Alvin thinks of this? Of me? Is he okay with it?”
Tim buried his now bright red face in his free hand. “Yes.”
“Um, I’ll take that as not bad—”
“He wants to jump your bones. Very emphatically. Repeatedly,” Tim mumbled into his palm.
Danny was silent for a long moment until he started to laugh. “Ancients, okay, I’m sorry just, oh boy. That’s—” Danny tried to breathe around his laughter. “—am I like catnip to all three of you? What do you all see in me?”
Tim watched Danny’s laughter fade with at first shock and then fondness. “Because of this. I tell you that there’s a third and the first thing you worry about is if he’s okay with you.”
“Well, yeah,” Danny says, as if it really should be that simple. “I don’t want to break up with you or Caroline because Alvin hates me.”
What a wonderful, ridiculous man.
“Then you’d be… okay to meet him sometime? Or text with him?”
“Of course. I can’t promise he and I will have what we have or Caroline and I have, not when I don’t know the guy, but I think considering how I feel about you two the chance is there. And if even not, him and I should get to know each other, right?”
“Right,” Tim said, finally able to smile. “I’ll make sure he has your number. And I guess for the last thing… my real name is Tim. And… and to be honest I was a little wary of telling you my legal name that morning, in case things went badly. But I’m also trying to figure… myself out I guess. And Lin maybe fits? It’s got a bit of Caroline and Alvin in it. But I don’t know if that’s right either, maybe it’s just trying to rely on them too much. I don’t really know a lot, I guess.”
Danny just shrugged with a little smile. “Who really does? What do you want to be called today, sweetheart, Lin or Tim?”
Tim took a moment to actually think about that and ignore his blush at being called ‘sweetheart’. He didn’t know what the right answer was, but maybe that just meant he needed more data. “Let’s… let’s try Tim today.”
“Tim,” Danny said with a grin. He seemed to just be able to take everything with a grin; it was amazing. “So, do I want to know why you sent me a picture of a turkey this morning?”
“I was paying you back for all the animal photos you send me. He’s my little brother’s.”
Danny tilted his head. “Your brother… has a turkey?”
“Yep.”
“Huh.”
Tim shrugged. “He’s weird. And I don’t mean like, normal weird in a nerdy way or very awkward. He’s just weird weird. One of those weird things is his pets.”
“Huh,” Danny said again. “What’s a pet turkey even like?”
“Loud and mean. But he does like to show off for pictures, so I figured I’d send you one. I was home, well, not where I live home, but you know what I mean—” Danny nodded to Tim’s words. “—to drop something off before I headed this way.”
They both leaned back as their food arrived and thanked the server. Silence settled over them as they got distracted by food. Tim took a large bite of his pokerito, chewing and swallowing before he made himself ask, “Do you have any siblings?”
He was bad at it, but he was really trying to get to know Danny properly. (And without just looking him up.)
(Or stalking.)
“An older sister and kinda a little sister? Which sound weird I guess but…”
“No, I get weird families, trust me. Like, I’m not related to any of mine,” Tim said.
Danny smiled gratefully at the easy acceptance, as if Tim wouldn’t after everything that Danny accepted about him. “They are. And, well, so are my sisters, but I love them. I don’t get to see them too much anymore. My oldest sister is out in Washington, the state not the city, and the younger travels a lot. She’s basically nomadic. She’s never been anywhere longer than a year. I like traveling some, but I don’t think I could ever do that. What about you, have you always lived in the Gotham area?”
“Basically. I did some study aboard—” in fighting, but whatever, “—but Gotham has aways been home. The city is basically in my blood at this point.”
“And knowing Gotham, some of your blood is in it too,” Danny quipped.
Tim gave an undignified little snort took another bite of his food to avoid saying anything snarky back. More of his blood was in the streets and buildings of Gotham than Danny would ever know or understand. “You’re from the Midwest somewhere, right?”
Danny gave one of his crooked little smiles that Tim was so fond of. “Is my accent still that obvious?”
“No, not really,” Tim assured him. “Picking out accents is just something that I’m good at. I mean, sure most people wouldn’t think you’re from here, but mostly you just sound ambiguously American."
“I guess I’ll take what I can,” Danny said. “But yeah I grew up in the great state of misery.”
Tim covered a laugh with a sip of his drink. “Missouri can’t have been that bad.”
“Naw, there were good parts—mostly my friends—but I’m glad to be gone. There was enough that I didn’t like or that made bad memories,” Danny said with a little shrug and smile.
“And Gotham’s treating you well?”
“You know, it is,” Danny said. “I’ve got an interesting job, my own place, school is going, and it lead me to you.”
“I mean, well, it lead you to Caroline,” Tim mumbled as he tried valiantly not to blush. By the way Danny grinned, the smile just slightly smug, Tim figured he had failed pretty badly.
“And I got a two for one deal out of it.” Danny paused and then continued. “At least a two for one deal. Maybe a three for one. Where else can someone get that sort of luck?”
This time, Tim couldn’t even try to hide his laughter. “That how you see it?”
Danny grinned back. “Yep, but in a totally not crude way. I just think that I’m pretty lucky.”
“I don’t know, in Gotham being messed up like this might put me one bad day from becoming a rogue.”
“Hey, no, you’re not messed up,” Danny said firmly, all of his humor disappearing. “You and Caroline and Alvin might be different, but you are not messed up. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
Tim glanced up at Danny from under his bangs. “Even though I’m not sure who I really am?”
“Even then. I think that most people don’t know who they are yet in college. You’re just taking it to the extreme.”
That made Tim laugh: the sort of laughter that threatened to turn into tears and leave Tim’s stomach aching. It had been a really long time since he’d laughed like that.
“If you ask anyone of the people who know me best, they’d tell you I tend to take everything to the extreme.”
“I know that too, I’ve slept with you,” Danny said with a wolfish smile that made Tim flush.
“That does not count as knowing,” Tim defended.
Danny just smiled wider and gave a little shrug. “Well, then that’s why we go on dates. I’ll know you well enough before long.”
“I hope you don’t come to regret that.” Tim hoped he sounded more teasing than worried.
By the way that Danny’s expression softened sadly Tim guessed he didn’t manage.
“Not going to pretend we’re a sure thing. We don’t know each other well enough to claim that,” Danny said. “But I try not to regret things in life, it just leads to a lot of being miserable about the past that you can’t change. If we don’t work out, that won’t have stopped me from enjoying the time that we have had. That won’t make me regret it.”
Tim blinked. “I think you might be smarter than a lot of people I know.”
Danny laughed and shook his head. “I don’t think that’s true. I’ve just learned a lot about life early on, whether I wanted to or not. I might as well get something out of it.”
“That sounds like the same thing as being wise to me,” Tim said. He felt almost defensive about Danny thinking poorly of himself like that.
“Well, thanks darling,” Danny mumbled with a blush and a duck of his head.
Tim took that as basically a win and went back to eating happily. He might not be able to do as much for Danny as Danny was doing for them, but he could at least try and let Danny know how great he was. Plus Danny’s blush was cute.
-
“Look a little like a murder den,” Tim commented as Danny lead them down the few steps to a basement apartment door. His words didn’t stop him though. If it was a murder den, he could handle it.
“It’s not a murder den,” Danny said. Clear amusement laced his words.
“Basement, dark street, no sign, blacked out windows… murder den.”
“Gotham rent prices, the street light is just out, you missed the sign, there’s a reason. Not a murder den.”
Tim frowned (just a little). “I don’t miss things.”
“I was kissing you.”
“Okay,” Tim said after a long pause, “maybe I miss some things.”
“I’m a good distraction,” Danny said smugly. He held open the door for them and stepped back.
It was almost like a portal into another world, one full of neon lights, electronic noises, and the most wonderfully hideous carpet that Tim had ever seen.
“An arcade?”
“An arcade,” Danny said and followed Tim inside. “It pretty much spans some machines from the heyday of arcades through the nineties and just into the early aughts with this ancient DDR pad over in the back.”
“It smells like dirty quarters, popcorn, and machine oil in here.”
“Yep.”
“It’s perfect.”
A pleased grin broke out across Danny’s features. He pulled out a ten out from his wallet and held it out towards Tim. “Then let’s get some quarters and start playing. I bet that I can kick your ass at Primal Rage.”
Tim snatched the bill with a smirk. “Maybe, but you have no chance against me in street fighter.”
“Get your quarters then and we’ll see, won’t we?”
The jostled each other as they both ran a ten through the change machine and collected the change in the slightly battered novelty cups that were stacked next to it. The clang of the quarters were soothing, in a weirdly disharmonious way, as they made an exploratory circuit of the arcaded and pointed out games that they might want to play later. The place did have a pretty nice variety, for all that the cabinets and machines were basically crammed side by side in the arcade.
They did end up at the Primal Rage machine first, where Tim proceeded to have his character brutally eviscerate by Danny’s raptor character.
“Wow.”
“We had this machine back where I grew up. My friend Tucker and I used to play it all the time,” Danny explained with a proud little smirk as he switched to the weird snake necked dinosaur.
Tim, giving up on dino kind, selected the ape. “Was little Danny a nerd?”
“Complete nerd,” Danny said. “Played video games, fascinated with NASA, two mad scientist parents; I was truly the bottom of the food chain. The jocks and popular kids sure let me know it too.”
“Bullies?” Tim asked sympathetically.
“Specifically one. Looking back I actually think that he had some toxic shit going on with his dad, masculinity, and probably his sexuality.”
“That doesn’t mean how he acted was alright,” Tim said. His character flew across the screen, trailing blood.
“Nope. But I can at least see a why. Besides, it was basically a life time ago now,” Danny said calmly while his win flashed up on screen. “I’m happy where I ended up.”
Tim leaned over to press a kiss to Danny’s cheek. “Good. Now come let’s go play Street Fighter so I can kick your ass as Chun-Li.”
Danny pretended to swoon, hands over his heart. “Ah, to have my ass kicked by a hot woman.”
“I don’t need to hear about your and Caroline’s sex life,” Tim said with a fake shudder that earned him a bark of laughter from Danny.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m happy to have my ass kicked by a cute guy too.”
“You better be,” Tim said. “I think I’m morally obligated to take you to a gym on a date now.”
Danny pulled Tim into his arms, pressed Tim back against an arcade cabinet. “Hot, sweaty, pinned under you… I’m not going to complain.”
“Bet not,” Tim said with a quick peck to Danny’s lips. “But games now. It you get enough tickets to get me that hideous, knock-off Robin plushy I’ll blow you in the bathroom.
It was to watch Danny’s eyes dilate at the suggestion. He abandoned pinning Tim to tug them along. “Well, come on. After you kick my ass in Street Fighter, you’ll get to see a true master at skee ball.”
“Oh this I have to see.”
“Damn right you do,” Danny said with a wink and a blown kiss.
Tim found himself laughing yet again that day, and so glad for the man who kept making it happen.
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Promise | s.r
who? post-prison!reid x ex gf reader (she's a nurse)
category: angst (bold move ig)
summary: Spencer left you 5 months ago without a word for undisclosed reasons but he comes teary eyed to your door after seeing a girl that looks a little too much like you.
based on (very loosely lol): promise by laufey. the fic does not follow the events of the song at all but i love the "if it weren't for the sight of a boy who looked just like you standing out on Melrose avenue" part right at the end so it's all on that line.
word count: 1.6k
a/n: my first fic ahhhhhhh, i'm so nervous and happy rn, this is my baby and ik there's a lot of space for improvement but i'm proud of my writing, this comunnity is full of amazing people and if it wasn't such a lovely space i would have never posted this. shoutout to @lilacsandlavenderhaze for being the first to hear my idea and telling me i should go ahead and write it; @spencersbabymama for telling me to cut the bullshit and self deprecation and post this; and to @esote-rika for being my first readerrrr. love y'all <3
dividers by @aquazero
English is not my first language pls tell me about any spelling and grammatical mistakes. enjoyy!
The air was cold and crisp, a light drizzle could be felt dampening the streets – a scene typical for this time of the year in Washington. Spencer had gone out with the team to get some drinks after a hard but successful case, he was happy, of course, the fact that they had caught the killer pleased him but everything inside the building felt overwhelming: the voices, and the drunk conversations, all the limbs touching a little too much, the overly loud music. He was out of it and to be honest he had been out of it for quite some time now, actually some months, everyone noticed how the breakup made him feel.
Funny, because he was the one to leave.
After you came back from a long shift at the hospital excited to cuddle with the love of your life (or so you thought) but the only remnant of him you found was a sticky note placed on the cover of a book you were reading at the time:
"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore"
That was all he said before destroying everything you two had built over 3 years, 3 years of love, pain, and learning, 3 years of giving everything for each other, destroyed in less than 24 hours like nothing.
He hadn't been the same for a long time, though—not since prison. You didn't blame him; you tried to understand him, give him space, time, and everything one could need to heal. He was not the same, of course. You weren't expecting the same Spencer to come back, sure, but you also were not expecting whoever he had become: some cold and distant version of the person you used to know.
Your relationship with Spencer is divided into two eras: Before Millburn and After Millburn.
Before Millburn, you guys were somewhat happy. Both of you were overworked and stressed but happy. You would tell him about your work, and he would tell you about his. In the rare times, he got a day off work, he would hug you whenever he could, like he was making sure you wouldn't slip away.
After Millburn, you didn't talk much, not unless it was necessary, he didn't hug you a lot anymore, in fact, the last time he hugged you was when you went to pick him up at the correctional facility, all the emotions running high, you remember thinking he looked and smelled different, you didn't know he would be so different when you wrapped him in your arms, placed a kiss on his shoulder and whispered that everything would be fine. But everything was not fine. It was all so not fine and everyone around you two could tell. Yet you could have never imagined that Spencer, the man who made the hopeless romantic in you thrive would leave in such a disheartening way.
Back at O’Keeffe’s, the team was still at it. The count of how many rounds of drinks Rossi had paid long lost, Emily and JJ leaning suspiciously close to each other, Rossi nursing some unnecessarily extravagant drink, Garcia and Morgan somewhere on the dance floor and Hotch nowhere to be seen. Spencer had gone outside, hoping the sensory overload would ease with the fresh air, it did slightly but the agglomerate of people was no better than the one inside, so many people, reeking of alcohol, walking like zombies, and saying nonsensical things. As he was standing near the entrance, hands stuffed into his pockets, the soft rain dampening his hair, Spencer let his mind wander and it ended up where it always does: him contemplating if leaving was the right decision.
He was so deep in this thought that didn't even notice the man approaching until it happened- a hard shoulder bump that took him away from his thoughts.
"Sorry dude" the man muttered not even caring to glance back as he moved past. Spencer blinked, shocked as he watched the man move swiftly toward a small group of people nearby. A group that included you.
His heart jumped to his mouth. No - not you. But she looked like you, uncannily so. She even acted like you, the way she threw her back when she laughed or how she scrunched her nose in an attempt to put her sliding glasses in place - he could've sworn it was you.
For a fraction of a minute, he actually thought it was you. His breath caught in his throat and he took a step forward before reality sank in and he retreated. It wasn't you; it was never you.
But as he watched her wrapping her arms around the man's neck, as his hands almost automatically moved to her waist, and they both smiled like idiots in love. He couldn't help but feel like he had been stabbed and the knife was being twisted inside him. Was this some type of fucked up joke by the universe? "This could be you, bad thing you lost her" The thing is, he didn't lose you- he gave up on you which was worse because maybe if he had stayed, and tried a little harder, you would still be together.
He staggered back a few steps, and if he hadn't reached the wall, he would've fallen considering he already felt his knees buckle as all the bottled-up emotions from the past five months came crashing onto him; he was overwhelmed by his own feelings, eyes blurry with tears as a lump formed in his throat and the weight on his chest got heavier.
Blindly, almost unconsciously, he reached for his phone in the inside pocket of his jacket. His thumb hovered above your name in the contacts list. The message he typed was brief:
"Are you home?"
He didn't get a reply, he wasn't waiting for one. The moment he hit send his legs were already moving, practically running towards the street to hail a cab. He gave the driver your address, and it came out of his mouth easily, as if he had never stopped saying it.
You were in the shower when his message came through, you didn't pay the loud notification much attention, not even caring to glance at the device when you heard the familiar ding. You prioritized the small occasions you got to take care of yourself when your job is to take care of others.
Now freshly showered and in the kitchen making tea- the next step on your little routine- you hear a knock on the door, a distinct knock, a knock you could never forget, not even a billion years from now. Your heart stopped for a moment, heartbeat pounding in your ears, you didn't quite register you were moving towards the door until it was open and he was standing there, his brown eyes open wide once he registered your presence, reacting as though you opening the door was the last thing he expected. You just stood there for a few seconds, staring at each other until Spencer wrapped you in his arms like he used to, his nostrils flooding with the smell of your shampoo and body wash, smells he recognized all too well, smells that felt like home.
You pushed him away, shattering the brief feeling of happiness he had started to feel.
"What are you doing here?" You asked almost a little too loud in an attempt to hide the hurt in your voice
"I miss you" he replied eyes searching for yours.
You stood there, arms folded, trying to hide how weak those words made you feel. He had no right to miss you, not after leaving the way he did.
Why should I care? You thought to yourself. He made it clear that he didn’t care about you, but you cared, you cared so deeply that it made your heart ache.
You were not going to let him in.
"You can't just stop talking to me and then come here like nothing happened, Spence." You couldn't help using the nickname, your voice falsely steady, trying to hide the pain.
"I know, I just-can I come in?" No reply "Please"
You hesitated, gripping the door handle tighter as a tornado of emotions swirled on your chest. Anger. Hurt. Loneliness. You wanted to slam the door in his face, make him feel a small fraction of what you felt over the past 5 months. But buried beneath all these harsh feelings, there was something softer, something you felt ashamed to acknowledge: the echo of all the nights you stayed up worrying about him and what could happen in his work, all the mornings you woke up without the smell of coffee lingering through the apartment.
You let him in.
You tried to convince yourself that letting him in was about answers- you deserved an explanation, some sort of closure at least. But as you stepped aside and watched him walk past you knew that wasn’t the whole truth.
Because no matter how much he’d hurt you, part of you still longed for the man he used to be.
“This doesn’t change anything.” You muttered, as much to yourself as to him. He gave a slight nod in reply, eyes watering. Damn him and his big brown eyes.
As you were turning around after closing the door behind you, he captured you in a hug again and you couldn't help but wrap your arms around him too.
★
Somehow, he ended up asleep in your bed and as you gaze at his peaceful resting face, your mind tells you to wake him up, tell him to go home and never come back, tell him that he doesn't get to leave and reappear whenever it suits him, tell him that he can fuck off for breaking your heart like that. Yet, you don't do any of that, because your heart tells you not to.
tysm for reading, likes and reblogs are always deeply appreciated
@angellic4l it's finally here bestieee!
#mwah#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid angst#some angsty angst for ya#criminal minds#criminal minds fandom#post prison reid#your honor they are in love
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