#i had a funny post in mind too and now i’m like. nvm i hate all of you

[bright-and-burning]

was having a good time and then i scrolled a little too far down the dash. idgaf anymore i am breaking mutuals first strike for untagged nasty comments lmfao.

[olde-scratch]

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -

“oliver”

I  F O U N D   I  T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

so

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

w  h  a  t  -

W   H   A   T   -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 4-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

(I accidentally spoiled a major part for myself by browsing tumblr after the episode aired but before I watched it because I’m dumb)

I’m watching this on my TV and not my phone this time so I’m excited

Previously on… the show I’ve been obsessed with months before it released. As if I need reminding lol.

Friggin marvel opening gotta remind me of Tony snapping every episode

Interesting watching this on my flatscreen cuz the show is wide screen

Oh asgard!

Little Sylvie!

Oh my gosh that would be horrifying as a kid… she just got kidnapped pretty much

“Crimes against the sacred timeline” oh for cripes sake she’s just a kid!

Oh my gosh this would be terrifying

Oh is this when Renslayer was still a hunter

Clever girl!!! She escaped before even being sentencing

There’s a lot more to Renslayer I bet

TIME KEEPERS BABY

Space lizards finna meet the business end of a pruner

Mobius yay!!!!! I’ve missed him!

And what’s so bad with different branches?

Oh is that hunter locked up?

Oh nvm

That “how?” from Mobius is the closest thing we will get to hearing him say “wow” in this show and that makes me sad.

Dawn of the Final Day

Aha iconic promo scene!

Serious Loki moment?

“The universe wants to break free so it manifests chaos like me being born the goddess of mischief.”

I don’t believe C-20 is actually dead

Soooo does Loki not still have the tesseract? Or are we gonna get a silly clown Loki moment of “OHHHH I FORGOT I HAD THIS.”

“Do you think what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we’re destined to lose?”

“No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don’t die. We survive.”

Please don’t romance them

This is sweet and sad

Don’t kiss please don’t

What set them off? How did they find him?

He really should have an equal amount of security

Mobius shut up.

Bad friend? Oops

Uh oh

TELL HIM THE TRUTH LOKI DO IT

Oh? Asgard?

Uh oh

Lmao

Bully Sif

Ouch

Poor Loki

Ohhhhhh lmao time loop of being beaten up by Sif… ouchie

Cmon Loki fight back.

Or break her mind lol

Loki don’t fall for it— ahhhh ok

Ouchie

Controlling woman huh

Easiest to break huh? Shut up Ravonna

Titans? (Lmao please tell me they arrested a variant Thanos)

Vampires??? Hinting at a Blade reboot????

Hunter B-15 knows something is up

Oh my gosh Loki real moment confessing to Sif “because I’m scared of being alone.”

Genuine or??? Is she gonna throw him? Poor Loki…. “You are alone. And you always will be.”

Mobius you scumbag. That’s literally torture.

Mobius shut up

Mobius shut up. You don’t know the real Loki.

Oh so even they don’t know what caused it

Now Loki is lying just to avoid being hit by Sif

Oh no. He thinks she’s gone. Loki can’t lie very well when he’s sad.

No not swooning… please don’t ship them I beg you.

Not romance please stop no.

MOBIUS SHUT THE HELL UP

Please don’t make it romantic please please please please

SHES NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND PLEASE SHUT UP

YEA LOKI TELL HIM THE TRUTH

Maybe he had a family, a life… maybe… maybe a jetskii?

Mobius shut up.

Shut up about ���girlfriend”

Yea Mobius. Let it stew. You’re a liar.

That Hunter B-15 is onto something.. OH YEA SHE WAS ENCHANTED FOR A BRIEF MOMENT TOO

SHE MUST BE REMEMBERING SOMETHING

Theremin. Nice.

Odd music choice for a date I gotta say.

How much older is Owen Wilson than Gugu Mbatha Raw? (Googling) Owen Wilson is 52… Gugu is 38

Mobius is onto something. But I’m still mad at him.

“What we do here matters.” Doubt

Friendzoned

What trophy?

Oh the sword

SNEAKY MOBIUS SWITCHING THE REMOTES NYAHAHAHA

He’s not the best liar tho

For all time. Always. Doubt

She knows he’s lying.

Hunter B-15 interrogating Sylvie at Roxxcart

Yea Sylvie tell her!

FRIENDS? Please?

Oh my gosh poor Hunter B-15…

Hug?

Team up?

Yay???

Damn C-20 really is dead?

Funny with all that technology but that video looks like my old handheld game from like 2010 that I bought from Walmart.

Mobius having an existential crisis. Good.

Please stop hinting at a romance between them…

Friends yay!

Renslayer you scum…

Uh oh

Maybe he had a Jet Skii!

NO

NO

LOKI JUST LOST ANOTHER FRIEND

Renslayer I will revel in your demise

“But she’s just doing her job.” Shut up. She saw what Hunter C-20 said…

Loki is crying again… he just made another friend and he’s gun… HE NEEDS TO COME BACK. If Mobius is gone forever I will never forgive the TVA.

Awww she asked if he’s okay… I’m still praying only friends. Please nothing more.

What was the event? Come on Renslayer. You remember you crap hole.

Oh my. Time keepers??? Aha this IS where the stairs on the wall and a fight breaks out.

Lmao that one time keeper sounds like a dopey dog from a cartoon.

YEA HUNTER B-15 I LOVE YOU

Oh that’s how Loki gets that cut

Now he has a sword babyyyy

Renslayer I hate you

Loki help her!

Oh nvm she’s good

Child of the time keepers?

I KNEW IT

JUST ROBOT PUPPETS!!! ITS ALL A TRICK

So… who’s really in control???

Seeing Loki in this blue light… cmon give me Jötunn Loki.

Where’s hunter b-15?

Don’t confess love pease I beg you

Please please please don’t romance them. For all that is good in this world.

Oh gosh

Hug?

Please just hug

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHAT????

PRUNE HER DO IT

Loki?????

What???? NOOOOO

HE CANT BE GONE!!! We still haven’t gotten that scene where he has the flaming sword!!!!!!!! Pruning HAS to not kill them please!!!!!!!!!

Dammit I KNEW something would happen. They had their backs turned to them and it was too quiet.

LOKI BETTER NOT BE GONE I SWEAR TO GOD MY HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH AGGHHHHHHHHH

I’ve seen him die too many damn times agahahshehhdheiebdusienenridiehehejd

And now the credit song has love in it

I really really hope they don’t have some sort of self-cest between Loki and Sylvie…

POST CREDIT SCENE WHAT????

LOKI YES

OH MY GOSH THANK GOD HES ALIVE

Oh

My

Gosh

MY JAW JUST DROPPED

ALL THE OTHER LOKIS

SO WHAT THE HELL DOES PRUNING DO?????

WE GOT KID LOKI, BLACK LOKI, OLD COMIC LOKI, AND EVEN A FRIGGIN CROCODILE LOKI LIKE WHAT???????

And what is black loki (I feel bad for calling him just that but I don’t know his name DX) holding? And what is old comic Loki holding?

What is this place that looks apocalyptic??? Why are they all here?

WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE YET AGGHHHHHHHHH

SO IS MOBIUS STILL ALIVE THEN????

IS EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN PRUNED STILL ALIVE?

Is each pruned person sent to a place with all the other variants of themselves???

I HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS

NO WONDER TOM HIDDLESTON SAID POOR LOKI IN THESE EPISODES

My biggest concerns now are: how on earth are they going to wrap this up in only two more episodes? And PLEASE DONT ROMANCE SYLVIE AND LOKI!!! I mean, I get it… if Loki should fall in love who better than his parallel. She’s different enough from him to have it not be too weird I guess, but it’s still a variant version of him. And it seems a little too forced. Like sure a crush maybe, but don’t you dare say love when they’ve only known each other for like a couple days.

My mind is melting. I’m so glad I waited to watch this in the morning instead of at night so I could appreciate it in all its glory.

BUT NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGGHHHHHHH

Oh and is Hunter B-15 okay? We saw her get knocked down but that was it. She didn’t appear in the rest of the fight.

AND WHO MADE THE TIME KEEPERS????

IS IT KANG? IS IT…… MEPHISTO??? WHOOOOOOOOOOOO?????

Gonna go browse tumblr to cry and reblog gifs from the episode to help me cope until next week.

[on-stand-bi-help]

So I this are just a bunch of texts that I sent my cousin and I thought why not post it on Tumblr as well!

Please do not take this seriously this is just some really bad comedy. Hope you enjoy. (Also this does have swear words and I mean a lot of swear words so you have been warned.)

Ok I haven’t edit this at all so sorry for my grammar and sorry if this doesn’t make sense

So a new MLB episode came out and it’s a special? Idk to be honest but here are my thoughts cause I want you to watch it! So there is a fucking new intro! It reminds me of the old Barbie movies intros not gonna lie but I guess it’s kinda cool.

Ok so their flying abilities or powers or whatever look really weird and I don’t like them. Alya showing the camera back and forth gave me a headache.

Ok but Ladybugs knowing about roses and their meanings gives me fanfic vibes not gonna lie. Chat trying his best too whoo Ladybug and respecting their boundaries (which she made by the way) freaking adorable not gonna lie. Chat being flustered fuck I just realized how much I missed him. Ugh Ladybug’s soft look and as soon as she leaves Chat’s soft look fuck they are adorable omg. Ok Chat saying that he needs to give himself some flowers cause he is amazing. 100% agree 10/10 you deserve it. TREAT YO SELF!

Ugh definitely did not miss Marinette’s obsession with Adrien omg. She’s really trying to lie to tikki bro you’re with her all the time. You can’t lie to her plus she’s been alive since the beginning of the universe and you’re telling me you are honestly trying to lie to her. God damnit Marinette you are such a dumbass.

LMAO THE STUDENT FILM OH MY FUCKING GOD!! THAT’S SO FUNNY!

God damn I saw on tumblr people comparing Draco to Chloe and I’m like bro Draco is a meme and a great character. Chloe is a bitch who is so fucking annoying.

OMG THE TEACHER IS PREGNANT ALL SHE HAD TO SAY WAS I HAVE MEDICAL EXAMS AND I KNEW!!! FUCKKKK YESSSS A RED HEADED BABY!!!

Can you imagine there is a whole episode where the class has to take care of the baby (for whatever reason) and all of them freaking out cause this baby is too precious and Alya coming in and saving the day and being like guys calm down. It’s all good. Nino fucking going soft trying to help Alya as best as he can. Marinette and Adrien never doing this before so both of them are super flustered and nervous! God I WOULD LITERALLY KILL FOR THAT EPISODE NOW HOLY SHIT!!!

Ok damn Kim really ain’t holding back like chill dude. He really just told the principal that the science teacher isn’t cool. You tell that to your friends not the fucking principal. You dumbass.

LILA IS HERE FUCK!!! God not only do I have to deal with Chloe’s bullshit but Lila’s too omg. Ok idk if it’s the website that I’m watching it in but their voices sound weird and I hope it’s just the website and not the actual episode.

Marinette shut the fuck up ADRIEN WAS TALKING BITCH!!! YOU INTERRUPTED HIM!!! Lmao nice save Marinette talking about the film to distract everyone from the fact that you like Adrien. GOD DAMNIT ADRIEN’S SOFT LOOK FUCK!!! HE LOVES HER SO MUCH BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW IT YET OMG!!! GOD DAMN!!! Lmao Lila’s face! Yeah fuck you Lila! Bitchass!

So Marinette is telling everyone that she is over Adrien. Alya isn’t falling for this bullshit! Love that. Marinette, why are you lying just ask them to help you move on. Like I can see the effort but I don’t understand why you are lying about it if you aren’t completely over him. Like bruh. ALEX REALLY SAID “No kidding” to when Marinette said that she was acting crazy. YES ALEX QUEEN! CALL HER OUT! Marinette saying that she just wants to be friends with him and not in love with him. (ARE WE FINALLY GETTING THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT WE ALL DESERVE HOLY SHIT IM LIVING!) Nope nvm she’s still on her bullshit. Did Alya just say that if Marinette will be ok with her and Adrien going to New York together because it may be too romantic. Like Bitch YOU GUYS LIVE IN PARIS! I'M SURE SHE WILL BE FINE!

FUCK YOU GABRIEL!! DIDN’T MISS YOU AT ALL YOU FUNKY ASS BITCH!!!

BRUH ANOTHER MIRACULOUS FOR REAL!!!

DAMN! Lmao Marinette trying to look tough that’s so funny to me! Who you trying to scare bitch cause you ain’t fooling anyone. Bruh Gabriel really friendzoned Marinette for Adrien lmao! Omg I love that. Fuck. I hate Gabriel so much.

I DIDN’T KNOW KIGMA WAS GOING TO BE IN THIS EPISODE!! YAY! EW WTF DID SHE JUST KISS HIM! ARE YOU KIDDING! WAIT WHEN DID THEY GET TOGETHER!! WTF! I DON’T REMEMBER THIS!

Marinette you are so annoying. Where’s Ladybug?! SHE’S SO MUCH BETTER! HOLY SHIT IT’S LADYBUG! OK BUT THAT SCENERY LOOKS SO ROMANTIC! Wait yeah both of them are going to New York like who is going to protect the city?! Oh shit nvm I’m a dumbass hawk moth is going too. Lmao! I’m an idiot! Ok BUT THAT WEIRD BUTTON THING IS ADORABLE OMG!!! AWWW! LIKE WTF!! I WANT ONE! BRUH HOW CAN SHE NOT LIKE CHAT NOIR WTF IS WRONG WITH HER!!! GODAMNIT!

Gabriel really said Surprise bitch to Adrien lmao. Damn poor Gorilla. I can’t believe he still doesn’t have a fucking name godamnit. Lmao I love plagg. Ew god damnit fuck you GABRIEL!

OMG LUKAAAAA! Marinette fucking date him already wtf. He is literally biking your stupid ass to catch up to the bus. GOD LUKA DESERVES BETTER! Marinette you always fucking ruin the moment fuck you. Fuck you. AGAIN LUKA DESERVES BETTER! Luka honey no don’t look at her like that you deserve better. Flashback to the perks of being a wallflower quote, “We accept the love we think we deserve” FUCK YOU BRAIN WHY YOU DO ME LIKE THIS!!

ALYA IS A TRUE FRIEND!!! Bro my friends would be laughing their ass off and making funny faces at the window instead of asking the teachers to stop the bus. HE WAS CARRYING HER SUITCASE TOO OMG! BRO LUKA HAS SOME STRONG ASS LEGS LIKE DAMN!!! Luka then says, “You know what’s important Marinette, that this trip gives you some clarity.” PLEASE GOD THAT SHE FALLS FOR CAT NOIR!!! PLEASE THAT SHE STARTS LIKING HIM!!! PLEASE! BITCH WHY KISS HIM ON THE CHEEK OMG WHY?! He likes you and you decide to kiss him on the cheek. Bro you are just making him fall for you more. Goddammit you are an idiot.

Bruh one look at Adrien and she becomes a tomato god damn. Am I being hard on Marinette cause she reminds me of me. NO WTF!!! Shut up! (At least I’m not a stalker or someone who gets obsessed with my crush in obnoxious ways.)

FUCK YOU CHLOE WE DIDNT WANT YOU TO COME YOU STUPID HOEEE!!!

I JUST REALIZED THIS IS A MOVIE!!! 12 minutes in and I just realized this is a movie. I AM AN IDIOT!!! God I’m so dumb lol. Ok this animation not gonna lie is kinda good.

He really yelled at Marinette in front of everybody in a plane huh. That’s so funny. Also he sounded like such a jock like wtf was that. Lmao Alya and Nino just looking at them like yessss our ship!!! (Alya and Nino are such a mood) This movie is literally like a fucking fan fiction. Adrien, “Oh yeah you’re sitting next to me!” Marinette fucking panicking. Omg this is literally a fanfic. I can’t! I love this omg. I LOVE ALYA SO MUCH OMG!!! Did Marinette just call Adrien her husband. YOU’RE LIKE 14 SHUT UP!!! PLEASE!!! How can you confuse husband with friend. Ok this just confirms that Marinette constantly daydreams to herself and tells herself that Adrien is her husband. Girl, GIRL YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM VERY WELL. SHE’S NOT EVEN IN LOVE SHE’S JUST FASCINATED WITH THE IDEA OF HIM. Ugh this is why I don’t like the idea of Marinette and Adrien or Ladybug and Adrien being together. Like she barely knows him and she counts that as love. Jesus. Lmao Gorilla has and will always ship Marinette and Adrien together. You can not change my mind.

Brooo if Marinette had a penis she would definitely have gotten a boner when Adrien fell on her. WHY IS MARINETTE LIKE THIS?! (Ok yes if my crush not that I have one but if I did I would probably do all the shit she is doing but I wouldn’t run away I would fucking just be in shock and freeze. Probably idk. THIS IS GIVING ME TO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ACT NORMAL FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.) Did Alya just say that “New York is the most romantic place in the world!” AGAIN YOU LIVE IN PARIS!!! OH SHIT NVM. I paused it too soon. She continues by saying, “After Paris obviously.” Ok my bad. Ok are we talking about the same New York cause New York isn’t that romantic. Then again what do I know. Marinette FUCK YOU!!! YOU COULD HAVE SAT WITH ADRIEN AND NOW YOU HAVE TO SIT WITH THE FUCKING PRINCIPLE. Lmao this is giving me fucking Spider-Man Far From Home flashbacks. Bro Adrien looks so disappointed. FUCK YOU MARINETTE! Bro gorilla is such a mood. Putting a 10 for both having a fear of flying and for needing relaxation. Wait why doesn’t he have eyebrows? I just realized that. I mean I knew but like I didn’t realize idk if that makes sense.

Dude the principal sleeping on Marinette THAT HAPPENED IN FAR FROM HOME!!! Wait a damn minute in Far From Home Peter lives in New York and goes somewhere in Europe (I forgot where) AND MARINETTE LIVES IN FRANCE AND SHE GOES TO NEW YORK!!! Not only that but these are both superhero movies and they are both in love with someone except here Marinette is trying to get over Adrien while Peter Parker was trying to win over MJ. OK SOMEONE ON THE CREATIVE TEAM LITERALLY WATCHED FAR FROM HOME AND SAID YES LET’S DO THIS BUT THE OPPOSITE. I CAN’T THIS IS SO FUNNY!

AWWWW Alya and Nino sleeping on each other IS EVERYTHING!!! I SHIP THEM SO MUCH!!! IVAN AND MYLENE TOO!!! THEY REALLY WANT TO KILL ME HUH!? WAIT ROSE AND JUELKA FUCK YESSS THE GAYS ARE WINNING!!! MY MULTISHIPPER HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS MUCH POWER ALL IN A MATTER OF SECONDS!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

Dude I literally thought she said shit for a second I WAS LIKE WHAT?! But she said shoot. I really hope that’s not toilet water on her shirt. MARINETTE YOU HAVE A NAPKIN? OR TOILET PAPER ON YOUR HAIR?! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF THERE?!

Awww the sunset is so pretty. And Adrien is going to come in 3 2 1. Right on time. Adrien, “It's beautiful isn’t it?” I’m expecting Marinette to say, “Yeah but so are you.” and immediately regretting afterwards. Nvm she trips on him instead. Should have seen that coming. Ok now they are looking out the window again. This frame would be so cute if she didn’t have that stupid Toilet paper in her hair. Bruh Adrien just stands next to her and doesn’t even mention the Toilet paper on her hair. Adrien be like, “Yup just me and my fashionista friend Marinette looking at the window. Oh she has a piece of toilet paper in her hair. Damn must be a new trend I don’t know about. That’s kinda sus cause I am a model but whatever she knows more about fashion then I do so it’s all good.” (Not an actual quote.) Damn Alya and Nino ship them so much. Ok but what a mood!

Adrien says, “You're always willing to take a chance on something or someone even when no one else is.” Yeah bruh it’s because she is ladybug, I mean come on how do you not realize. Adrien really smirked at her whole shit! Adrien continues by saying, “You got something Marinette.” Marinette asks, “Something?” WAIT HOLD UP ISN’T HE DATING KAGAMI!!! WAIT IS MARINETTE A HOMEWRECKER!!! I’m kidding. Ok not really. Wait is Adrien a cheater like what?! Adrien continues by saying, “Yeah there in your hair.” He grabs the fucking piece of toilet paper. I LITERALLY FORGOT IT WAS THERE AND I BURST OUT LAUGHING!!! GOD I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!

Alya is a mood, “I can’t decide if they are the cutest people I know or the most embarrassing.” Literally me whenever I watch Miraculous ladybug. Also this literally sounds like something fanfic Alya would say. Not canon Alya. But I really love how they let Alya say that. Good call team! Omg Nino continues with, “Yeah I love Adrien but he is like a baby chick that just started cracking out of his egg he has a hard time understanding the signals people send them.” THIS LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE A FANFIC AND I LOVE IT!!! OMG!!! I LOVE OPERATION NEW YORK OMG!!! YESSSSSSSS!!! ALYA AND NINO ARE LITERALLY OUR SAVIORS!!! GOD DAMN I LOVE THEM!!! ADRIEN HUGGED HER AWWWWW!!! I LOVE HIM!

THERE’S ANOTHER SUPER VILLAIN WTF!!! He really wants to kill the people huh. I mean he must be pure evil cause he literally is tearing the airplane apart. He really said: There's tons of people in this airplane huh. Welp I really need this technology so I guess they have to die!

DUDE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GIRL? I can’t tell if she is a robot or a superhero! MAYBE BOTH!!! ALYA IS SUCH A SUPERHERO NERD I LOVE HER!!! OK this other girl superhero is literally captain marvel. She’s not Majestia (idk if that’s how you spell it) nah she’s captain marvel. LMAO WHEN CAPTAIN MARVEL MAKES AN APPEARANCE IN THE MLB MOVIE AND DOESN’T HAVE THE AUDACITY TO HELP OUT PETER PARKER IN HIS FIELD TRIP!! DAMN!!! SHE REALLY SAID FUCK YOU PETER! MLB FANDOM NEEDS ME MORE THAT YOU DO!! LIKE GURL PETER IS HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN CAUSE HIS 3rd father figure died!!! Then again she is saving an airplane fool of people but I’m sure you could have made a quick stop to give Peter some advice but whatever.

God I hate the principal.

CAPTAIN MARVEL REALLY SAID I HAVE TO SAVE MY ROBOT WIFE FROM THAT BOMB!! And she fucking blew the bomb away from her face. DUDE THERE IS SO MANY NEW SUPERHEROES HOLY CRAP!!! Ok including the Captain Marvel and the robot there’s 2 more but that’s more than Paris soooooo. WAIT CAPTAIN MARVEL JUST CALLED HER ROBOT DARLING!!! I was joking, I didn’t think they were together. OK I SHIP IT! Captain Marvel, “Are you alright darling?” (Giving me Spinderella and Netasha vibes not gonna lie) STOPPED IT TOO SOON!!! ROBOT JUST CALLED CAPTAIN MARVEL HER MOTHER!!! ABORT ABORT SHIP!!! I regret making all the comments that I just have made. So ignore them. I no longer ship them. Aw they have such a quote MOTHER AND DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP!!! They are hugging each other. Adorable.

Bruh Adrien and Marinette are talking openly to plagg and tikki like could you guys be more obvious. Like shut up.

So apparently there’s a superhero for everything in USA. Um I wish if there was USA wouldn’t be as shitty as it is now.

I love Nino and Alya, that's all I’m going to say.

Also the superheros have a code word for the French students and it’s literally ‘the little croissants’ I LOVE THAT OMG!!! WHO CAME UP WITH THAT CODE CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!”

Ok turns out Robot girl can actually turn into a regular girl. SO THAT’S COOL!

How is it possible that Adrien and Marinette can’t figure out how the doors work like what?! Ok why the fuck is Adrien constantly catching Marinette every time she falls. Like he isn’t even close to her and he fucking races and catches her. Right he obviously doesn’t like her. Yup I definitely believe that bullshit.

Lmao the robot girl took one look at dumbass Marinette and stupidass Adrien and said, “Those 2 are made for each other.” That’s so funny. Ok robot girl is friends with a girl that has some weird ass earrings (dare I say lesbian). And they both are in school so I’m pretty sure they are the same age. SO I SHIP THEM!!! Grumpy girlfriend and super happy robot girlfriend. ADORABLE!

Lmao they are already going to a party bruh. They just got off of a plane and they almost died. And you’re telling me that they aren’t slightly jet lagged or even a little tired. Bruh come on.

DAMN SABRINA IS GONNA GET A LOVE INTEREST OKKKKKKKK!!! He literally winked at her and she went bright red. DAMN GURL GET IT!!! CHLOE FUCK OFF!!! SABRINA IS GONNA GO FLIRT WITH THE GUY AND NOT BE YOUR STUPID ASSISTANT!!! FUCK YOU!!! GOD DAMNIT CHLOE, SABRINA, MARINETTE AND ALYA ARE ROOMATES BRUHHHHH!!! (And they were roommates- OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES NOT NOW BRAIN PLEASE)

Bro the teacher looks at the hallway and nods cause she notices that all the lights are off in the room and no one is talking and she leaves. And immediately all the doors open and everyone is sneaking off to the party. BROOO THIS REMINDS ME OF NHI LOL!!! So the teacher suddenly pops out and asks what’s that noise and they all go into different rooms. The teacher doesn’t notice. And of course Marinette goes into the room with Adrien but on accident, and for a second I thought she was touching his pee pee but no she was just touching his lower stomach lol. They both look at each other and Marinette gets flustered and Adrien smiles softly at her. And she immediately gets away from him and they end up in the same room as ROBOT GIRL AND HER LESBIAN GIRLFRIEND!!! Robot girl is shipping them so hard while her girlfriend is glaring at them.

HER GIRLFRIEND CAN PLAY GUITAR YESSSSS!!!

SABRINA GO TO THE PARTY PLEASE!!! DITCH CHLOE!!! FLIRT WITH THE AMERICAN!!! THE AMERICAN IS FUCKING STANDING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW!!! WAITING FOR HER OMG!!! He takes her hand AND TAKES HER TO THE ROOF PARTY!!! FUCK I SHIP THEM SO HARD!!!

Omg the dialogue in this movie is fucking amazing. Marinette says, “Is it a bird?” Adrien, “Is it a plane?” Sabrina’s soon to be boyfriend, “No IT’S HOT DOG DAN!” Like bitch why is the hot dog cart flying like wtf?! Dude is this how French people see Americans because you know what?! THAT SOUNDS about right. If USA ever gets superhero’s we PROBABLY WOULD HAVE A SUPERHERO WHO SERVES FUCKING HOT DOGS!!! Damn this movie is pretty fucking realistic. The Americans are fucking thirsty for some hot dogs they literally run over Adrien and Marinette like damn ok yes a lot of Americans like hot dogs but we aren’t animals. Turns out the hot dogs are magical. ROSE LITERALLY GOT SUPER STRENGTH AND WAS ABLE TO LIFT UP IVAN!!! QUEEN!!! AW Sabrina got long ass hair like Rapunzel but it’s brown for some reason.

There’s 2 hot dogs left and Nino take initiative and pays for the hot dog and says, “Not a problem. My girl and I can have one and you 2 can have the other.” Damn this really is a fanfic huh. Then again I doubt a fanfic would have them sharing a fucking magical hot dog. Lol! This movie is nuts. They ate the hot dogs (nvm they took a bite of the hotdog and they dropped it on the floor) and they started floating. They grab hands and they are trying not to freak out.

Meanwhile ALYA AND NINO ALL THE FUCKING GET IS THESE HIGH PITCHED VOICES LIKE BRUH. Also Nino ships them so much omg! BRUH HOT DOG DAN EVEN SHIPS THEM! I mean he doesn’t say anything he just looks at them and smiles.

Omg Alya asked Robot’s girlfriend to set the mood with a song! And Robot’s girlfriend is like yeah sure thing. This movie is surreal.

THE SONG IS LITERALLY THE SONG THAT THEY DANCED TOO AT CHLOE’S PARTY OMG!!! I can’t believe I remembered that.

Bruh Adrien literally just repeated what I typed. HE JUST ASKED MARINETTE IF SHE COULD DANCE WITH HIM!!! They are floating and the moon is shining bright on them (Nice job Yue; setting the scene for us I see) and he extends his hand. She starts floating backwards cause she’s freaking out (What a surprise 😒). He grabs her hand and brings her closer to him. WHAT FANFIC AUTHOR WAS ABLE TO GET A FUCKING HIGH BUDGET TO MAKE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE THIS DOESNT FEEL LIKE AN MLB EPISODE!!!

ALSO Marinette is looking at Adrien in a way that makes her look like a Tim burton cartoon character lol. SHE FINALLY GIVES IN AND DANCES WITH HIM IN FRONT OF THE MOON!!! (They aren’t even dancing to be honest they are literally just hugging each other really closely and spinning) BUT ITS ADORABLE SO I FORGIVE THEM!

Lmao they zoom out of the roof party and you just see in the fucking corner Kim and some other dude having a push-up contest. They showed that in the beginning when Alya, Nino, Marinette and Adrien were entering the party. I just wasn’t expecting that in this whole time Kim and the other guy still continued the push-up contest omg. (This is the first 29 minutes and my hand is tired sooo I’m not gonna write anymore)

If anyone wants me to continue I will but I doubt anybody is going to see this post so yeah! Anyway if someone actually read this PROPS TO YOU DUDE!!! HOPE I DIDNT WASTE YOUR TIME!!! HAVE A GOOD YEAR!!!

Edit: I think Robot girl and girl with weird earrings are sisters soooooo I don’t ship them anymore. (I’m honestly really confused are they siblings or not?!)

[szopenhauer]

Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. ulica - street or czekolada - chocolate *I bet you read/spell those wrong :P

How long does it roughly take you to do grocery shopping? depends, I’m pretty fast, especially if I buy local but sometimes there’s no product I need in the store so I go to another 

Which city would you like to visit- Rome, London or Paris? London, then Paris, then Rome

Would you rather visit Australia or Germany? Germany, I have no interest in Australia at this point

Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? rat or mouse, definitely not a spider because of M.

Can you play the violin? If not, would you like to? no and no

Can you keep a pokerface and not show your emotions easily? often

Are you a good liar (tell the truth this time)? can be but I don’t like to lie

Are you wearing shoes, just socks or nothing on your feet? ugg slippers and fuzzy socks

Do you prefer to write etc, etcetera or something else? etc itp itd and such

Do you think rainbows are pretty or overrated? overrated

Are you more skeptical or gullible? skeptical

How often do you drink sodas or fizzy drinks? never

Do you currently live in the same country you were born in? sure

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? sometimes

Do you like carrot cake? gross

Don’t you hate it when people say ‘I don’t mean to be rude but…’? omg

How good is your memory? ha ha ha 

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with M? XD

Have your neighbors ever complained that your music/TV was too loud? weird but they actually didn’t!

How many zeroes occur in your mobile phone number? none

Are you currently wearing anything green? am not

Name an animal that starts with the 2nd letter of your middle name. -

Have you ever had feelings for someone whose name started with S? yup

How many red lipsticks do you own? old one, past expiration date 

What are you doing to improve or maintain your health currently? my best lmfao which is not enough, if only I had money...

Do you ever look at someone’s social media posts and feel a little jealous? who doesn’t?

Do you like how your hair looks today? I washed them last night but didn’t look at myself in the mirror in the morning just yet

What health problem are you struggling with currently? list is too long

Do you take life day by day? I’m on survival mode

Do you have a lot of questions? would say so

List 10 fashion trends you like/dislike. current? I’m not aware... let me check  according to Vogue there are puffy sleeves that I’m not into but they’re not gross, gold - fine if not too much I suppose, cardigans - I prefer not open tops but sometimes they’re useful indeed, check pattern (no surprises here - checkered stuff for summer? groundbreaking) - same opinion as with puffy sleeves, maybe it’s the fact of popularity and fall stereotypes that pushes me away from the thing but... nvm, lets move on! fringe - bags with it are noice but I prefer to not use smth that might cause an accident... matrix coats? why not?! Nat’s Spike mode - count me in? gonna feel like a leather couch again, red color causes my anxiety and anger issues but in small doses is like gold I mentioned above, suits are Vinnie’s but I don’t mind ‘em for specific occassions, inflate bottoms aren’t casual so not no chance of using that in everyday life, masculine fashion? POSITIVELY TRIGGERED - love me some bad boy vibes - excited AF, back to black - classy, what else is there to say? ;)

Are you ready for Jesus to come back? please

Do you believe that Jesus lived and is returning? hopefully?

Do you have too much clutter in your home? we are hoarders/maximalists 

If you were rich, would you get a professional photoshoot done? *shrug*

Have you ever taken a photo every day for a year? no patience for shit like that, sorry

Do you have way too many photos stored on your computer? oh well...

Do you take a lot of selfies? probably 

Do you ever multi-task? usually

Are you multi-tasking right now? not really atm

Are you “with” the very last person you kissed? we’re engaged 

Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else? poniekąd na koloniach  był taki chłopczyk, którego nikt nie lubił, najmłodszy, no i mi go było żal, że Aneta (w jego wieku, moja koleżanka) nie chce z nim tańczyć to się nad nim zlitowałam i od razu mnie polubił, przyniósł mi kwiatki jakieś wodne i potem po prostu przestałam się nim zajmować bo nasza opiekunka szukała dziewczyn dla takiego grubszego chłopaka nieśmiałego i dzięki temu miał grono fanek, ale wybrał akurat mnie i to mi pochlebiało, dał mi swoją czapkę z daszkiem na trochę (potem wyjechał szybciej niż inni więc mu oddałam i w sumie trochę szkoda było iż nie miałam z nim kontaktu bo się wstydziłam poprosić - mówili na niego LODÓWA), w końcu zdeterminowana wziąć kolonijny ślub uczepiłam się wręcz Łukasza (kolegi tamtego - Piotra czy Pawła) i nawet miałam pierścionek zrobiony specjalnie dla nas przez kowala oraz dyplom, wykonywaliśmy zadania i wyniósł mnie na rękach (ledwo) i suknię ślubną skleciłam hahaha, a tak na serio robiłam to tylko żeby się pochwalić, że ktoś mnie chciał, nie ważne kto, a tamten pierwszy malec mnie za to kopnął w dupę (serio) i musiałam się z nim godzić przy wychowawcy, ale mnie unikał jak ognia obrażony potem, wszyscy byli ode mnie kilka lat młodsi ^^”  taka byłam, albo to była Anya/Amy, nie wiem, chciałam się dopasować, moje BPD ze mnie wyłaziło ehh  jeśli to się nie liczy to były potem też przecież momenty kiedy przerzucałam się z jednej dziewczyny na drugą zainteresowaniem bardzo szybko, czasami wracałam do poprzedniej byleby dostać odrobinę uwagi, czuć sie potrzebna, nie być taka samotna czy coś - ale nie liczyłam na nic poważnego, żyłam tu i teraz, żeby nie odstawać, bo przyszłości przecież i tak miałam nie mieć, więc dowartościowanie się jedynie wchodziło w grę lub poczucie przynależności, bycie opcją, wręcz masochistycznie nawet jak wiadomo, swego rodzaju bezpieczeństwo - flirt/zabawa

How many windows are open on your computer? shitload

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny? whoops

Have you done anything sneaky lately? maybe 

Does someone have feelings for you? it seems 

Are you hard to please? am I? I’m picky about some things but usually it’s not my fault like food, sigh...

Relationship to the last person you called? my doctor

What color shirt are you wearing? grey

Is there anything you wish you did today? Why haven’t you done it? I plan, I’ll try

What were you doing before you started this survey? bunch of things

Can you honestly say that you love yourself? umm...

Do you think you spend too much time feeling upset? sadly

Do you own a pair of uggs? have ‘em on! as I already said above

Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive? I don’t believe her

Do you hide your feelings or show them? depends, usually show tho

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? short 

Do you think relationships are hard? everything is but point is if it’s worthy

Any friends who are constantly venting about their significant other? luckily no longer have any friends like that, no friends at all actually

Have you ever been ice-skating? just once and don’t wanna

Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? often

Have you ever seen an albino person, in person? I haven’t

Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? nope

Do you obsessively apply lip-gloss or lip balm? eww, hell no

Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb? yeah, gross

When you can tell that someone’s lying, do you call them out on it? sometimes, I might

Do you like Musicals? nooo

Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs? no comment

When was the last time you cried? that night from happiness :3

What kind of bottoms are you wearing? my SW pajama pants but gonna change now

What do you hear right now? my mom talking <rolling my eyes>

In the past week have you got your hair cut? nope

In the past week have you felt sad? obvi

Has someone disappointed you recently? yep

If you could pack up and move, would you? asap

What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? I’m scared to...

What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? my gf proposing to me for example?

What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? bread, I wish I had variety :(

When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? with my mother it’s frequent 

What was the last thing you changed your mind about? it’s a rollerclaster XD

Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? dad and M. - I wish I could count on my other parent and sister...

[claroquequiza]

Are you still willing to do some of your behind the scenes things for Afterdrop? I wouldn't mind one for the debrief with Soldier76. Or the one with Jesse and Winston, although that may be too recent and reveal too much plot. If you have too much on your plate then nvm, no worries. Thanks!

Ah shit, I just found your post saying you weren't going to do any more. My bad, nvm, sorry!

Naw, it’s ok! I haven’t done one for a while--I had to stop because it was becoming a struggle not to reveal spoilers! But I think I should be able to pull off the debrief with Soldier: 76!

He neatly stacked everything back in the box almost exactly as it had come. He moved to stand, but the Soldier looked up from his comm again and fixed him with the visor’s expressionless stare once more.

“When do you want to debrief?” he asked.

Hanzo fought down a sigh. “Now,” he said, straightening his back and folding his hands in his lap.

NEEEEVAAAAAAAAAAAR shouted Hanzo as he leapt out the window.

The Soldier nodded. “I understand,” he said slowly, almost carefully, “that you had a mental episode.” Hanzo set his jaw, and his fingers tightened around each other. “In the old Overwatch, you would have had access to a counselor, at the very least.”

Jack Morrison fought a ten-year war against an implacable enemy that gutted cities and countries. He’s familiar with the role of mental illness in warfare.

In the old Overwatch, Hanzo amended mentally, he would not even be here.

are you sure about that

“We obviously don’t have one, so let me just say: if you can’t talk about it, don’t talk about it. We’ll get through as much as we can, and leave anything else for another day.” He tilted his head slightly, as if studying Hanzo’s face.

Jack tried his best to avoid any counseling whatsoever during the Crisis, only to suffer a nervous breakdown that took him out of the fight for almost a year. He never forgot that experience and the therapy that got him back on his feet.

Not that it’s done much good since the Fall.

Hanzo kept it carefully blank. “And if you suspect that I am withholding incriminating information?”

Hanzo understands that a debriefing without trust is an interrogation.

The Soldier’s head fell forward slightly, and he chuckled darkly. “Than let’s start with dealing with the elephant in the room.” Hanzo breathed in sharply, trying and mostly succeeding at keeping it silent. The Soldier looked up, and Hanzo kept his eyes on his receding hairline. 

STOP CALLING THE READER’S ATTENTION TO THAT, HANZO, IT’S RUDE

“Winston and Genji himself briefed me. Never thought I’d find myself on a team with not one, but two former yakuza.” 

Not just on a team with them, but acting as an ad hoc counselor of sorts. Life is funny sometimes.

He paused, as if considering, before saying, “Genji would like everyone to consider your pasts as between the two of you. Winston disagrees, as do I. It’s impossible for us to ignore that, but--” he admonished, holding up a large hand, despite Hanzo’s not having given any sign of interrupting, “--not for the reasons you might think.”

He absently rubbed his chin, despite it being covered with the thick plastic of the visor’s lower half. Hanzo could not help but wonder how he could stand to have it on outside of battle.

How indeed. Just you wait, Hanzo, he takes that thing into the shower with him, the madman.

“Whatever Genji’s reasons are for wanting you to join and whatever your reasons are for indulging him are not my concern. What is my concern is keeping all of us alive during a mission. Avoiding triggers for flashbacks or whatever the hell happened is one thing that will keep you and everyone around you out of the cold ground. Genji tells me you’ve been on the run for ten years from the yakuza, so I know you’re not weak, but obviously there is something that debilitates you. We need to avoid it in the future or it could put the rest of the team at unacceptable risk.” He stopped and seemed to study Hanzo once more. “And if it does put us at unacceptable risk, then you shouldn’t be here at all.”

Jack is on the fence with this whole Overwatch thing, whether he thinks he is or not, so he’s having to perform some mental gymnastics to be ok with Hanzo’s membership. Before, he had Gabe’s no-nonsense yet aggressively protective nature to lean on, which is why a lot of people like Hanzo ended up in Blackwatch. Jack’s leaning on that again, though he has reservations about how well it’ll work.

Hanzo immediately recognized the out, whether or not the Soldier meant to provide it, and his heartbeat quickened.

It would be child’s play to twist this to his advantage, to exaggerate his weakness and make himself appear to be a liability. How indeed could Overwatch know that he would not run off to get drunk on some random rooftop after every mission? They did not know about Hanzo’s inability to use the dragons with a sword or sword-like weapon, nor did they know that he was not normally inconvenienced by it in the slightest. It would be easy to convince them that being so close to Genji, even through the proxy of his comrades, was enough to incapacitate him. Hanzo had played the part of a weak man to his advantage countless times before, in dozens of situations, and he could do it again and be rid of Overwatch forever.

Yeah!!! GTFO of there, Hanzo! Why don’t you?!?!

But he could not be rid of Genji.

Oh.

His thoughts, surging with lightning-like speed, stopped dead. Be rid of Genji . Even the notion was enough to send shame coursing through his stomach and chest. His brother, his victim, was alive. He owed a debt to him, a debt that would never be repaid, though he was duty-bound to give all he could.

Duty. It chilled and sobered him more effectively than icewater injected directly into his veins. Duty had ruled his life since before he drew his first breath. Duty to the Shimada-gumi, duty to the memory of his murdered brother, and now his duty to Overwatch, that Genji had sworn him to.

With a sinking heart, he realized that he must consider Overwatch with the same devotion that he had regarded his former clan. He would do well not to forget that.

And the afterdrop continues to chill him. This is when Hanzo puts aside all the fucks he has to give.

He gave a small internal sigh before meeting the Soldier’s visor head-on. “I do not anticipate problems in the future,” he said quietly. “The circumstances that led to my--episode--have occurred only twice. They will not occur again.”

The Soldier was silent for a few moments before he nodded. “Let’s start at the beginning, just so we don’t leave anything out,” he said at last. 

♪ Let’s start at the very beginning ♩

♩A very good place to start♪

He took a small pen-like device out of his pocket and put it in front of him in the table, pressing a small button on one side that lit a blinking red light. He then placed his comm in the middle of the table. It immediately projected a hologram of the warehouse and the surrounding area into the air, a few centimeters below eye-level. A red marker flashed slowly on top of the apartment building where Hanzo had kept his vigil, with a red dotted line tracing the circuitous route he had taken during his survey. “Everything was as you said it would be,” he said, leaning forward, “but go ahead and explain in your own words what you did, starting with your initial approach to the target.”

Jack’s a big fan of multiple perspectives. He’ll listen to the same story over and over and over just in case someone caught something that everyone else missed.

Rashomon is simultaneously his favorite and most hated movie. He loves the varied narratives, but he gets frustrated that’s it’s impossible to know who’s telling the truth.

The Soldier did not speak much at first. He rotated and zoomed in and out of the holographic map as Hanzo described his movements and actions, only occasionally interrupting to ask for clarification or, surprisingly, to offer a tidbit of praise. He seemed to be especially appreciative of Hanzo’s thoroughness, grunting and nodding with vigor when Hanzo pointed out the three rooftops he landed the minidrone on before he brought it back to his own perch.

Jack was never one for black ops, but he appreciates those who are. A little too much, in at least one case.

Hanzo was about to start describing the start of the battle when the Soldier raised his hand to stop him. “What exactly did McCree tell you about the team beforehand?” he asked. “All I caught from him when he was telling you about the attack was to cover the northeast alley.”

“He did not tell me anything about the team until afterwards,” Hanzo replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “Not until he was bringing me here.”

UUUUUUHHHHHH OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH

The Soldier was quiet for a moment.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

“Run that by me one more time. He didn’t tell you anything about the other teammates? Callsigns, roles, positions?”

“No.”

“Were you aware that this mission included a team?”

“Yes, the cow--Agent McCree told me--” 

I’m looking forward to the transition of this nickname from pejorative to affectionate.

Hanzo paused, thinking back. “Ah--he said we are inbound , so I assumed there was a team. He did not explicitly mention a team until about 1900, when he assigned me to the northeast alley.”

“1900? Less than three hours before we got there?” There was an edge to the Soldier’s voice now, one that made Hanzo more guarded. “So when were you aware of the other team members’ presence?”

Hanzo couldn’t help the small scowl that curved his lips downward. “When--I believe his callsign is Reinhardt? I assume he was the one in the battle armor, who yelled and smashed his way in?” The Soldier nodded, the holograph’s light flashing dully in his visor. “That was my first indication of his presence. I did not know of anyone else until they spoke on the commlink.”

I can’t wait for Hanzo to meet Reinhardt. Reinhardt knows what it’s like for your actions to cost the life of someone you love.

The Soldier leaned on the table on one elbow, rubbing his chin with his hand. “So when did you find out Mercy was there?”

Hanzo thought carefully. “She did not speak over the commlink until I reported Agent McCree’s injuries.”

Of course McCree didn’t tell a potential enemy about Angela! YOU GOTTA PROTECT YOUR HEALER Y’ALL

“ Goddamn. ”

The expletive thundered out, and for the first time there was a touch of electronic reverb, as if whatever auditory system the mask employed to relay the Soldier’s voice could not handle the sudden volume of the outburst.

I’m currently on the fence over whether the mask makes Jack’s voice so grouchy and rough or Jack suffered an injury to his throat or Jack’s just being melodramatic.

“And that didn’t strike you as strange?” the Soldier bit out.

Hanzo stared, an eyebrow raised. “Strange?”

The Soldier dropped his arm to the table. “You’re telling me that information about a mission, about your teammates, about your medic , didn’t seem to be necessary?”

Hanzo gave a tiny shrug. “I am not in a position to judge what is strange or necessary. I have only been in contact with Agent McCree before this mission. I assumed he would give me any information that I was authorized to have, since he is my--” he couldn’t help but pause to swallow back his distaste for the term, “--my handler. If there was no information, it was because I could not be--that I was not authorized.”

There was a long silence.

Jack’s the first person to realize just how far Hanzo will go to put himself down.

“Alright,” said the Soldier, slowly, as if it was anything but. 

Not that he does anything about it, with Hanzo at least. He’s not the least bit able to do anything about Hanzo with Hanzo himself.

“So you got into position, essentially blind, before Reinhardt accessed the target.” A small group of differently colored markers made their way onto the holographic map. Hanzo watched with real interest, especially after he noted that one marker, colored yellow, was behaving very oddly, seeming to blip instantaneously from one position to another rather than smoothly move across the map as the others did. Another marker, a grey one, moved to the main entrance of the warehouse, followed closely by the yellow marker plus a red and a blue one, before the holographic door pixelated and disappeared, allowing the yellow, blue, and red markers to enter.

The Soldier called his attention away to the northeast alley, showing him how to add red X’s to the map to show how the Yoneyama had tried to get to the warehouse, and where they had met their ends. Hanzo was beginning to have trouble remembering exact details, but that did not seem to bother the Soldier much; he merely asked for his best estimation and for the most memorable or worrying tactics the Yoneyama had used, for future consideration.

They arrived at last to Hanzo’s ill-fated attempt to retrieve his arrows.

“It’s a goddamn miracle you had so many to begin with,” the Soldier groused darkly. “Winston and Genji told me you’re used to single target attacks. Why the hell did you have so much ammo?”

“My ‘single targets’ are often surrounded by many more incidental targets,” replied Hanzo concisely.

Hanzo’s infinite arrow supply is hilarious to me. Of all the characters to have infinite ammo, you pick the archer?

The Soldier waited to see if he would elaborate, but graciously moved on when he did not. “So you ran out of arrows. That’s definitely something we need to keep an eye on in the future.

eye emoji

Now the question becomes: why didn’t you wait for backup? You knew McCree was on his way.”

The red visor was locked on him once more. Hanzo felt an urge to let his own gaze waver, to look away, but he met it squarely. “There was very little time. I had to take advantage of the lull while it lasted. I believe I said as much at the time.”

Plus, y’know. McCree was coming.

“Except there was no lull. It was a trap.”

Hanzo nodded.

The Soldier leaned back in his chair. “Well, the time has come,” he said heavily. “Do we stop here, or can you explain what happened?”

Hanzo hesitated a bare second. “Did--did the cowboy not explain?”

It was cowardly, and it was a bald attempt to get the Soldier to reveal what he wanted or hoped to hear, one that he did not expect to succeed. The Soldier obviously knew his business; nearly all his questions were carefully framed to avoid leading Hanzo on or revealing information that Hanzo had not already spoken of himself.

I had this idea of Jack avoiding leading questions right at this point when I was writing it. I had to go back and make sure he didn’t, LOOOL

“He did,” replied the Soldier, without pretense. “What did you see happen?”

Hanzo’s body tried to sag, but he did not allow his shoulders to droop a single millimeter. “I do not know,” he began, “how much you know of the Shimada legacy.”

“I’ve seen Genji in battle,” the Soldier responded. “I’ve seen what he can do to whole groups of targets.”

THIS would have clued Genji in to Jack’s real identity if he had a means of listening in. He hasn’t called on his dragon on any missions with the mysterious Soldier: 76 yet.

Hanzo nodded, needled slightly by his brother’s revealing the secrets of the clan to outsiders, but there was hardly any clan anymore, and no ties to it anyhow. 

This recently got expanded a bit in Chapter 14, but the clan had multiple reasons to keep the dragons secret, before and after the fall into the criminal underworld.

“I--had similar abilities with a sword, but more powerful. I am not,” he added swiftly and somewhat haughtily when he saw the Soldier lean forward with interest, “I am not able to use them any longer.” He waited a few moments to see if the Soldier would pry, but he did not, so he continued. “I was able to modify my--ability--into a long range version that uses my bow and arrows as a medium rather than a sword. Had there been more Yoneyama to battle, I might have been forced to use it; it is physically draining, so it is a last resort.”

“Yes, Genji doesn’t use his unless he absolutely needs to,” murmured the Soldier thoughtfully. Hanzo filed that bit of information away, a confirmation that his brother still felt something as human as fatigue. 

One of these days the bros have GOT to sit down together and figure out what they do and don’t know about each other in an atmosphere that doesn’t lead to dissociation and panic attacks.

“But you had no arrows.”

“No.” Hanzo lowered his voice without knowing, his attention elsewhere. “I did not, and so I fell back on old tactics, old strategies, that I hoped never to use again.” More than hoped. Swore.

He had failed.

In more ways than one.

“Do you need to stop?” the Soldier’s voice was sharp, but underlined with something resembling concern.

Gruff!Dad Jack begins to pop out despite all of Jack’s efforts.

Hanzo shook himself out. “I--I do not wish to go into detail,” he muttered.

The Soldier nodded. “Can you at least tell me what happened when McCree was injured?”

Hanzo cautiously probed the memory. He shook his head. “I do not know what to say.”

“In your own words, Mr. Shimada, and in your own time,” the Soldier said softly.

Jack knows how hard it is to break your silence.

Hanzo pursed his lips, breathing deep in and out, attempting to center himself. To be honest, it was the memory of his double selves, the feeling of both Storm Bows in his hands, the extraordinary and disorienting depth perception that came from seeing the same scene from two or three meters apart instead of the customary seven or eight centimeters, and the bloody deaths of the Yoneyama that formed the core of the experience. That he had fled from and ultimately drowned in sake and plum wine. The cowboy had very nearly shared their fate, but in the end, by the grace of Genji’s association, he had been spared. Hanzo worked to wall the memory of the cowboy off from the rest of the wretched experience, so as to better examine it, to give the Soldier what he required.

It’s a shame that Hanzo can’t examine the attack itself, though. There’s a pretty critical bit of information in there.

It was not easy, but after two or three tense minutes he took a deep breath and said, a touch shakily. “He came from behind.” He bit the inside of his cheek, willed his voice to steady, and continued. “I disarmed and immobilized him. I was still--” He wavered for a split second. “--I did not come to myself until I realized he was an Overwatch agent.”

He waited to see what more the Soldier would ask, if he would probe further, if he would catch the subtle phrasing.

Key word: Overwatch

“And after you realized?”

Hanzo was not sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed.

“I knew that I was on the verge of--becoming compromised. I did not wish to do so there.” He waited again, for the Soldier to question his motives, but he did not. “I have a--protocol, I suppose. It is effective. I only had to deliver Agent McCree to his comrades before I could implement it.”

Hanzo. Hanzo, darling.

Getting drunk on rooftops does not count as a protocol.

The Soldier held up his hand again. “That’s enough for me,” he said. “Unless you feel like you have anything to add?”

Hanzo shook his head, thankful that the Soldier did not require an explanation of his “protocol”. The doctor had probably shared her findings by now, anyway.

“Then I can tell you, Mr. Shimada, that McCree said pretty much the same thing. He came up behind you, saw you, uh, neutralize your opponents--”Neutralize . That was a detached enough term. “--and then before he knew what was happening, you’d broken his wrist and knee.”

The Soldier leaned forward. “Mr. Shimada,” he said heavily, making sure Hanzo was looking him straight in the visor. He ran his fingers through his white hair, making it stick up even more. Hanzo imagined a grimace or lips pressed into a thin line under the mask, to match his tone as he said, “I don’t mind telling you what it looked like when you dumped a half-broken cowboy on the ground and then legged it. It was fishy as hell, and I think you’ll understand what went through my mind. I think you expected me, all of us, to think that, given how hard it was for Genji and McCree to convince you to come in. 

Although Jack is relieved that he doesn’t have to explain why. He’s had to spell out why things like property damage and broken bones are Bad Things before.

Not that anyone listened.

Frankly, if Tracer hadn’t been bringing in the transport, my first instinct would have been to send her after you to see if you had gone rogue.”

And wouldn’t that have gone well...

Hanzo nodded gravely. It was obvious what Overwatch should have thought. The real mystery was why they had not.

“As it was, as soon as Mercy got McCree fixed up, he admitted he was the one at fault.”

Hanzo expected something of the sort must have happened. It was almost a given, since Overwatch had not immediately abandoned him or hunted him down, but it was still a surprise to hear it. The concept of the cowboy admitting a mistake was just as unexpected here as it had been the night before when the cowboy himself confessed that he had been wrong to keep Hanzo out of the loop.

But then again, thought Hanzo, reining in his astonishment, perhaps the cowboy was merely covering his bases in the car. The Soldier was shocked at how little the cowboy had told Hanzo about the mission. Perhaps he had expected that fact to come up in the debriefing, and was owning his actions beforehand in an attempt to appear contrite. Genji had been listening in, after all, a witness to corroborate his “regret” when the full extent of his negligence came to light.

There was a little of that going on, but a lot of something else entirely.

That did not completely cover why the cowboy had immediately admitted his error in the alley, though. Hanzo would still have expected him to use that to discredit him, when Hanzo himself had disappeared and could not defend himself. It would have been the perfect opportunity.

Perhaps the Soldier had expected so, too. “You didn’t expect him to fess up,” he said. A statement, not a question.

Hanzo considered his response carefully. The holographic map rotated silently between them, sweeping the red X’s through the air like spiky stars through an oddly rectangular galaxy. The refrigerator broke the silence with a soft mechanical hum. Finally, he slowly said, “I did not expect him to defend my actions in any way.”

And why would you? Goodness, McCree was an asshole in the early chapters.

Doesn’t help that both he and Hanzo were doing the bare minimum, of course.

“There’s plenty to defend,” the Soldier said brusquely, then he sighed and cleared his throat. “Do you feel that McCree has been withholding information during your previous missions?”

No, he was not, thank goodness.

Hanzo almost laughed. Withholding information? The cowboy had been eager to overshare information, of a certain kind. But that was not what the Soldier was asking, so he merely shook his head and said, “No. All my missions up until now have been reconnaissance, and I was provided with all the necessary information and resources.” A thought occurred to him, and his eyebrows pulled together.

He regretted it a moment later. The Soldier seemed to have caught the small movement. “But?” he prodded.

Hanzo almost sat back, exasperated at his lack of control.

But the thought that had occurred to him could explain much.

“During my previous missions,” he said at last, “Agent McCree has been thorough. He has even warned me to be more rigorous at times, especially in matters of safety.” He was thinking especially of Watchpoint: Niigata, when he had insisted that Hanzo check to make sure he was secure. The cowboy had never disguised his disdain, of course, and many of his orders seemed to be given to annoy Hanzo more than safeguard or help him, but he had to admit that whether or not he was annoyed while following them, they technically did make him more secure. “This mission was the first where other team members were exposed to me. Perhaps he believed he was protecting you all.”

Even at this early combative and thoroughly hostile stage, Jesse and Hanzo understand each other better than they realize.

The Soldier snorted. “Protecting us? If things had gone different, his little omissions would’ve resulted in thirty-plus Yoneyama pouring through that alley and right into us.”

“Yes,” Hanzo allowed, “but no sword is as deadly as the chink in one’s own armor.”

“You think he thought you were more dangerous than the Yoneyama?”

“He need only look at Genji to know it.”

Oh, Hanzo. Dragons and ninja training notwithstanding, there’s a hint of your boastful nature in that statement. Yes, you and Genji are awesome, but you realize you just said you were more dangerous than 30 yakuza with guns, right?

I mean, you’re right, but still.

It was surprising how easily the admission came. It fell from his lips like a Freudian slip, but he made no attempt whatsoever to stop it. The Soldier already knew, anyway, so why should he bother? It did prompt a change in the air, however, as though static was suddenly building in the air that could be discharged if he so much as moved. His skin itched to do just that, but the feeling remained even as he shifted in his seat, ever-so-slightly.

The Soldier was silent and still for a long time. Hanzo was not sure how long, but it felt like several minutes passed before the Soldier reached out with one hand and tapped the comm, allowing the holograph to fade away into nothing. Then, prompting Hanzo to narrow his eyes, he picked up the recorder, turned off the blinking red light, and threw it over his shoulder, sending it clattering down the empty hallway. Hanzo watched it disappear from view with trepidation.

Days later, when Winston is listening to the recording: OW, MY EARS WHAT THE FUCK JACK

When the Soldier spoke, his voice was quiet, yet the rough edges were even more pronounced. “You might think you’re the most dangerous person on the team, but you’d be wrong.” He leaned forward, elbows on the table, fingers intertwined. The table sagged a little under the weight of just his upper body. “I don’t know how much you know about the end of Overwatch, but suffice to say, it was inevitable. You just can’t have that many dangerous people cooped up together without it all blowing up .”

"Dangerous!" cried Gandalf. "And so am I, very dangerous: more dangerous than anything you will ever meet, unless you are brought alive before the seat of the Dark Lord. And Aragorn is dangerous, and Legolas is dangerous. You are beset with dangers, Gimli son of Gloin; for you are dangerous yourself, in your own fashion.”

The Two Towers, The Lord of the Rings.

Look at me being all houtytoughty. 

His voice was bitter as loss.

“People know about the big explosion at the end, but what they don’t know, or what they choose to forget, are all the smaller ones that led up to it. There were plenty of incidents that ranged from McCree’s shattered knee up to and beyond Genji, Mr. Shimada. Genji is lucky to be alive. There are those who would be better off dead.” 

WHO COULD HE POSSIBLY MEEEEEAAAAAAAAN

The Soldier stopped. He did not make a sound, but Hanzo could see his broad chest expanding as he sucked in a deep breath, as if to steady himself. His voice was louder, but more tightly controlled when he continued. “McCree’s a fine one to talk about ‘too dangerous’, anyway. There’s more than one reason Winston put him in charge of you, and Blackwatch was not number one. His background and yours are more similar than he’s probably admitted to you. In fact--”

Although not as similar as popularly believed, as Hanzo himself says in Chapter 13. There was a world of difference between Jesse and Hanzo, despite them coming from the same world.

His hand darted to his comm, and he made some swift, stabbing motions at the screen. Hanzo’s comm chimed softly in its patch of sunshine. “--since I can guarantee he hasn’t, there’s his personnel file, so you know who you’re dealing with and why his little stunt was so poorly conceived in every way.”

The Soldier stood then, scooping up his mug as he did so. He stared at Hanzo for a few seconds before saying, “Winston knows how little you want to be here, Mr. Shimada. Genji’s pulled a stunt here, too. You might think your ‘provisional membership’ is for our protection, but you should know that it’s just as much for yours as well.” Then he spun on his heel and stalked off into the hallway, bending to retrieve the recorder before turning into one of the barracks and slamming the door behind him with a loud bang.

Jack knows what’s going on. Genji’s pulled enough stunts that Jack knows exactly how well he plans things out.

Hanzo watched him go, his eyebrows knitted together.

Hanzo: His ass--is so flat--

Me, the author: THAT’S STYLISTIC, IRL HE COULDN’T DO WHAT HE DOES IF IT WAS SO FLAT AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH

I hope this was okay! Thanks so much for the messages!!!