#i hAVE MY THESIS IDEA FOR REAL WHO'S HYPED

[rainbow-arrow]

being in fan studies as an academic is fucking wild bc i just read an article that analyzed how tumblr users use tags and applied it to goffman's dramaturgy and that's just. a whole lot to take in.

[weaselbeaselpants]

One of my pointless, made-for-just-myself fandom dissertations is gonna be about "endgame" philosophy and how fans assume creator's are swayed into bad decisions and writing by their fans. To give you a brief preshow of that, my thesis basically amounts to

"ya'll have fan brain; Lily Orchard has legit poisoned the well of media analysis with her bad understanding of production issues"

So many of you cartoon fans, criticals ect need to unlearn the term "creator's pet" as a term for important character in the narrative that you don't like and who's development isn't written well.

You owe it to yourself to STOP looking at ships that were always gonna be a thing and try and steer the conversation into "the show sucked cuz you all cared more about shipping; creators though x-couple was ungame and now it's ruined!!!"

Starco was inevitable since season 2 of SVTFOE made it clear they were going there. No, I don't like that choice either, but that's the choice the writer's had. Fucking cope. That's what fanfiction's for.

"The creator's didn't think of this twist until fan's started theory-ing about it-" NOPE. Fans just guessed the possible twist and different creators found different ways of hiding, denying or changing how their stories were gonna go because of that.

There is real criticism, hang ups, controversy and anger to be had over bad writing and decisions made in shows. You all have to stop complaining when creators do something you don't like vs something they shouldn't have done. I mean it when I say that, for all possible circumstances where creators' did take advantage of fan hype/ideas and then ruined their shows because of it (Supernatural, Game of Thrones, Star Wars) there are hundreds of examples of series just being bad* on their own and I really wish people would stop throwing around those "endgame", "creator pet" and "fan service" around so willy nilly.

And then I remember VivziePop....

[time-is-restored]

btw this might be me swinging a bat at a hornets nest but like. absolutely none of my disappointment from the tl finale comes from ship baiting or any relationships that didn’t happen (though to be clear, i think the tedbecca fake outs were meanspirited and served no narrative purpose - in noted contrast to the season's earlier jamiekeeley fakeouts, for example, which were explicitly there to demonstrate jamie's growth + maturity)

tedpendant is a really fun concept for me, and i LOVE the characterisation + thematic potential there!

but as someone who personally resonated with a lot of ted’s struggles, the idea that ted could leave richmond so… seamlessly, for lack of a better word, really doesn’t sit right with me. the thesis of the shows entire first season - assuming it can be said to have only one - was about how everyone needs the love and support of a community, whether that comes in the flavour of someone who hypes u tf up or someone who will relentlessly call u on ur shit (or, as happened quite frequently, both!).

rebecca, roy, jamie are the clearest examples as the characters with the most screentime: they were all deeply isolated and disconnected from the people around them, and that was making them miserable. the connections they made with the team, the vulnerability they finally allowed themselves to express (the ghost banishing ceremony comes to mind!), and them going on to want *more* out of their life are what made their arcs about *progression* rather than *regression*. without that clear theme of compassion + community inspiring positive growth in everyone who encounters it, there is, frankly, no season one.

my personal favourite scene from season one comes right after michelle walks away from ted, when they’ve agreed to get divorced. ted sits down on the bench looking gutted, and a little shell shocked - and beard sits down with him. hands him the drink, and they sit there together. silent, but together. to me, that scene is an implicit promise from the episode, to the audience: ‘it’ll be okay. it’s going to be hard, but ted isn’t alone, and his friends won’t leave him behind.’

it also makes it clear to the audience that ted isn’t the saintly-giver-of-grace who needs nothing in return, as one might assume on first brush, but rather that he’s Also struggling with his own shit (as is everyone, always, in real life!) and he has something he needs from the people around him too.

and looking at the text of s3, and the conclusion to his arc in the finale, i just don’t believe that he got it. he wasn’t just sad that he was leaving (which would be understandable!), he was completely closed off. unresponsive to the people around him reaching out, borderline confused as to why they were trying so hard!

(side note, while i completely respect the read of ted and trents last interaction being rather rude + ooc on ted’s part, i personally read a different motive into it. for me, it was more like… he didn’t understand where trents enthusiasm was coming from? like, he read that as trent being too invested in what other people think of him, and responded in a way that he hoped would emphasise that ted doesn’t *need* to laugh at everything trent wrote, bc trent Already Knows that he’s done something really cool and kickass, and he shouldn’t value anyone else’s reactions above that. basically, based on his demeanour in the episode, i genuinely don’t think it would’ve even occurred to him that trent was more invested in HIS reaction than he would’ve been with anyone else.)

again, looking purely at the text, the show had already established that ted has really strong depressive + avoidant tendencies, as well as panic attacks (largely triggered by his fear of not being ‘good enough’ in various roles, ie: a father). we saw one area he was able to calm HIMSELF abt these fears (worry for henry, which is a Hell of a choice considering the ending…), but in literally every other heightened moment, he had to rely on his support system to help him make the choices that he WANTED to make, rather than ones inspired by avoidance and fear (ie: confronting michelle abt jake, talking to his mum abt why she was visiting + his dads death).

and to be clear, this is a GOOD THING! we’re not supposed to go through life alone, no matter how bad OR well we’re doing. rebecca and keeleys friendship isn’t worth less for all the scenes where they’re both in good places. if anything, the opposite is true - it’s lovely that they both have someone who want to celebrate the achievements in their life!

and fuck it, we’re sure as hell not supposed to go through life with exactly one (1) person whom we expect to fulfill ALL of our emotional needs at all times either! like, im sure i don’t need to labour my point here, but tying everything to one (1) person in ur life doesn’t make u any less isolated than if u were going it completely alone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner. i won’t pretend to know the first thing abt what it’s like to be a parent, but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that no parent would be at their best if they had absolutely no support/camaraderie/general love provided to them from Anyone other than their child.

so when ted is SPECIFICALLY shown to be in a bad place, over and over again (did he come to terms w his fear to be close to henry overnight???????), and then removed from his community? of COURSE the audience is left feeling unsettled, and like the rug has been pulled out from under them. there was no time in this finale dedicated to how ted would still be in contact with anyone from richmond. no promises of visits, or phone calls - fuck, nothing about emails!! according to the text, we might as well assume this is a clean break (and the maybe-dream-sequence does Fuck All to assure us otherwise. if ted doesn’t go to beards wedding, what WOULD he go to????). and since the show has ALSO completely failed to give us even an IMPLICATION of who/what ted’s support system would be in kansas, there’s… a reasonable argument to be made that this is It for ted. that, after two seasons doing NOTHING but attesting otherwise, the audience is supposed to suddenly believe that ted can (and SHOULD!) pull himself up by his bootstraps, and cope entirely on his own.

that, to me, is a betrayal of the show’s premise. we were promised a show about how, no matter how dark things may get, none of the characters would be left to struggle alone. and then they ended the show with ted alone.

i don’t know. i guess if i had to give this post a tldr; if anyone has any gen fic/meta/Literally Anything in the pipeline, i would absolutely love to be tagged/directed towards it. i’ll be endeavouring to write something myself, as well, but it might take a while before i can return to my WIP, lol.

[synthetic-ultramarine]

Ten Book Reviews

To celebrate the new year I thought I'd do some short book reviews! This is by no means a comprehensive list of everything I read in 2023; I decided to focus on fiction rather than non-fiction for this post, and I slowly trimmed down my list of books to focus on the ones that gave me the most to talk about.

Books I Liked:

Annihilation, Authority, and Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer There's so much to be said about these books, they really deserve their own post. This series is so characterful, so atmospheric, and so masterful in its use of suspense, dread, and tragedy. Lives up to the hype 100%.

Devil House by John Darnielle John Darnielle reads his own audiobooks, and he's good at it. This book follows a true crime writer as he confronts the consequences of framing people's lives as narratives. It's about haunted places. It's about the often-forgotten potential for cruelty in the storytelling impulse. But most of all it's about the thesis that it's self-defense for a squatter to kill a landlord with a sword. If you like this, Universal Harvester is also good.

The Man Who Was Thursday by G. K. Chesterton I think someone should do an adaptation of this that takes place on tumblr.

Til We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis In this book, C. S. Lewis writes about a woman's struggle against god- no, wait, where are you going, come back! It's a take on the Cupid and Psyche myth from the perspective of the jealous sister, here reimagined as a genuinely concerned sister. Vivid imagery, beautiful prose, and a meditation on the relationship between the human and the divine that I still found interesting as a homosexual apostate. There's some fascinating stuff about the androgyny of God in here. Yes, for real. From Clive Staples Lewis.

Radiance by Catherynne M. Valente This book is overstuffed with concept. It's set in an alternate 20th century where the empires of earth have settled the nine planets, and it's about the film industry, which is based on the moon because the united states never colonized california. The story is a collection of ephemera - interviews, ship manifests, tabloid columns, clips of damaged film - relating to the disappearance of a renowned filmmaker who vanished while working on an infamous lost documentary. Also, space whaling. It's about that as well. Every time I try to describe how I feel about Valente's writing style it comes out sounding like one of those weird perfume reviews. I'll just say I found the prose overwrought at times, but ultimately I'm glad kept reading. The book is packed with mythological references, and while some are quite effective, there are also some that don't really do anything. There's a lot of genre-hopping; the noir sequences chafe against the style of the prose a bit, but the cosmic horror scenes are chilling. What is really good about this book is how thoroughly everything in the alternate-history setting is thought through. It talks about how the long day-night cycle of Venus affects the work of a film lighting technician. It talks about French colonies on Neptune losing radio contact with Paris as the earth passes behind the sun. It confronts the idea of Venus and Mars and Pluto as terra nullius, even though that's a concept some people seem to prefer not to critique. I'm going to be thinking about this book for a long time. If you like Nope, Dark City, or Mystery Flesh Pit National Park, you should read this.

Finna by Nino Cipri Weird, fun novella about two exes who still love each other, wandering through a maze of alternate universes for minimum wage. Portal-esque corporate satire, snappy pacing, and a compelling central relationship. So good.

The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon A beautifully written story about body horror, giant robots, gay sex, religion, mortality, and tenderness. The worldbuilding is intricate, sprawling, and sometimes ambiguous. The relationship between the main character and the love interest is far from the Standard Romance Subplot Structure, it's fresh and very compelling. The in-universe sacred poetry that shows up throughout the book is also very good. I have it on hold at the library for a reread. This book is tragically underrated because they're marketing it to the wrong audience. It's more cronenberg than canva cover. Tor should be selling this to the Annihilation weirdos, not the Red White & Royal Blue crowd. People go into it with the wrong set of genre expectations and then don't know how to react. I'm here to set the record straight: The Archive Undying rules and you should read it. I especially recommend this book to Friends at the Table listeners, since the author is One Of Us and the show is a notable influence.

Books I Didn't Like:

Six Wakes by Mur Lafferty The setup to this book is very compelling: 6 people lived a happy life together, isolated on a spacecraft for decades, until they were all violently killed. New copies of their younger selves wake up in the ship's cloning facility with no memory of last 60 years. One of their future-past selves was a murderer, and the killer's clone inherits their legal culpability. While the high-concept murder mystery is a great idea, the future politics are profoundly unimpressive, and sadly by the end of the book the latter has entirely subsumed the former. There keep being these flashback scenes about cloning politics back on earth - not only are these very politically shallow, they also kill the claustrophobic ship-in-a-bottle atmosphere of a good fucked up space scenario. As an example of the shallow politics: "all major religions" are stated to be intolerant towards clones. Apparently all the sects and denominations of All The Religions are just doing the same thing, as if they are interchangeable with each other. And then there are The Riots, which are portrayed as a political misstep, too disruptive, too loud. And then of course we have the NYC real estate billionaire villain. Florals? For spring? It's beyond me why a locked-room murder mystery would even need a villain who wasn't in the room. There's also a hacking scene I found so absurd that it nearly made me return the book unfinished. Disappointing.

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman Yeah, that's right, I'm gonna talk shit about Neil Gaiman on tumblr. You think you can scare me. old man?! I can't be silenced! Anyway, remember the Sexy Lamp Test? This is the worst failure of the Sexy Lamp Test I've ever seen. The girlfriend that the guy in this book is fighting with his brother over could be replaced by a nice car the brother took for a joyride, and the plot wouldn't change. At least with a car there wouldn't be consent issues.

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey In the real-life 20th century, there was a proposal by the U.S. government to introduce the hippopotamus to North America as a meat animal. Thankfully, it was scrapped. This alt-history western asks: what would the world look like if they went through with it? It's an intriguingly bizarre premise. Unfortunately, when I made that "your story should have scenes that aren't bioware cutscenes or tvtropes pages" post, this book was one of the reasons why. The dialogue and characters are nothing to write home about, and the plot is just rote. Here we are in a bar fight. Now we are planning the heist. Now we are remembering the tragic backstory. Now the antagonist has double crossed us. The hippos are involved in the plot, but they don't drive the plot in any way that depends on their being hippos. They only really differ from horses aesthetically. The thing that really bothers me about this book, though, is that this story clearly wants to be a modern, progressive take on the western genre, with a queer cast and all, but it doesn't give a single thought to the existence of native americans. There are no native main characters or side characters. Despite being a story about the radically destructive transformation of the north american ecosystem by the settler state, there is not even a single throwaway "the Choctaw are not pleased with the feral hippopotamus situation" line. Radiance gives more thought to the status of native american society in its alternate history than River of Teeth, and Radiance takes place entirely in outer space. Come on now.

[bugaydoeshistory]

this probably won’t make any sense so brace yourself

I’m sitting here in my office pondering on the crossroads of my career path. Ever since I was in high school I dreamed of becoming a history teacher. In fact, I wrote to a historian (who is HELLA conservative, wack, and we won’t talk about her lmao) about working for her for free because I LOVED the idea of digging through archives. 

I went to community college and religiously met with Dr. McGowan to talk history. I remember being so HYPED that I found history books from 1899 and bandaids from 1943 (ew) that I thought he would find just as interesting as I did (which I don’t think he did but he humored me). I helped start the history club at NVC, dealt with WAY too much male (lowkey incel) energy as one of the VERY FEW females into history, and transferred with the AA-T in History with the goal that I was going to take McGowan’s job one day. 

I transferred at UC Davis and fell in love with a different kind of history. Filipino American History had me in a mf CHOKEHOLD and it was the HILL I WAS WILLING TO DIE ON. You want me to go to Detroit and risk my mf life to do research on the Manongs? Fuck yeah, sign me up B!! You want me to sit in a room full of snooty ass know-it-alls for 3 hours to measure our academic dicks and see who knows more? FINE, I GUESS. I jumped all the hurdles, did all the rituals, and finally WROTE THE DAMN THESIS. 

Now what? I think, in my mind, I thought that getting into the PhD was THE END -- not a path. Now I’m here, I just got accepted to UC Riverside’s History PhD program and yo, just to be HELLA REAL, I’m freaking out. And not even in the whole OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID IT I’M SO FUCKING RAD YADJFJHDALKFHJDKFJHA. I mean, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO UPROOT MY ENTIRE LIFE IN THE BAY AREA TO MOVE TO THE STOCKTON OF SOCAL?! And for what?! 

Like I said, I’m sitting in my office, in the nice chill San Mateo region living my best gadam life. I’m in my own office, I make coffee every morning, I sit at my desk and I bullshit with my coworkers, talk to students, deal with the institution in a manageable way, and I go home to my cat who will watch tv with me until bedtime. I’m genuinely happy where I am. So WHY. THE. FUCK. WOULD I LEAVE ALL OF THIS TO GO TO RIVERSIDE, CUT MY SALARY IN HALF, GET TALKED DOWN TO BY SNOOTY ACADEMICS WHO’VE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE PROBABLY, LIVE WITH FUCKING ROOMMATES, AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE SOCIAL LIFE I HAVE UP HERE TO DO A PHD? Somebody answer me because that’s what I’m trying to find the answer to right now. 

Let’s save the, “I’m still processing the femtor trauma” for another post. For now, these are my thoughts. 

Sincerely, 

I thought the PhD was the ultimate dream and I’m waking the fuck up 

[musiconanironingboard]

16 August 2022: OH (Ohio), Lambchop. (2022 City Slang reissue of 2008 release)

This is the tenth album by Nashville band Lambchop, one of my favorite groups of the past 20-odd years. It received a German vinyl pressing at its original 2008 release, but there hasn’t been another since this one-off reissue from last summer. 

I’ve never been fond of this album’s artwork, which consists of paintings by Michael Peed, an artist and professor at Montana State University who was on Lambchop frontman Kurt Wagner’s thesis committee in grad school.

Above we see the front cover, hype sticker (and price tag; I bought this via mail order from Spindizzy Records in Dublin, and it’s the first time an order arrived bearing a price tag), and back cover.

There was no slipping that shrinkwrap off for a clear cover shot, so unfortunately there are reflections.

The inner sleeve is plain and not represented here. Below are both labels. 

Here is a shot of the “curacao” vinyl. Here it looks clear, but in real life it does have a blue cast, which you can get more of an idea from in the label photos above.

Note: I am something like 200 albums behind on this tumblr. I’ll never get caught up, so soon I plan on jumping ahead and beginning again with my January 2023 posts. I did the same thing in January 2022. I’m going to finish, however, the dozen or so albums I already photographed that span my purchases of August 16 to 20 of last year.

[santigarcia]

Phone 📲

Human Touch Part Two

a nathan bateman x f!reader series

Part One 

word count: 2.9k

rating: M/E for sexual themes, smut (pls only read if youre 18+)

summary: You send Nathan accidental nudes and that turns into something else...

a/n: thank you so much for the response from part one!! be sure to read that one before this one!! and as always thank you to @punkpascal and @sergeantkane for making this moodboard for me! let me know what yall think!

That morning when you wake up there’s a stack of paper, your phone, and a breakfast tray on the table in your room. You didn’t even hear Kyoko come in. You can only assume Nathan is working, and you don’t want to bother him this early.

You still can’t believe last night was even real. Even when you wake up it takes you a moment to remember where you are.

With a stretch and a sigh, you climb out of bed. You reach for your phone immediately and see a text from Nathan on the home screen. He put his number in your phone and you flush at the mere thought of having a text relationship with him.

The text from him says that he is working, but you’re welcome to come ask him any questions you may have about the thesis. That’s what’s on the table. It’s a heavy stack of paper. The text also tells you that you don’t have to read the entire thing, but enough to see if any of it makes sense.

You’ll read in a moment, first you want to eat some of that breakfast. It’s an assortment of fruit and oatmeal. There’s also some toast and a glass of milk, water, and orange juice. It’s all so good and you’re happy to eat something so fresh.

You also notice nearby is a stack of your clothes from yesterday, they’ve been washed and dried. You get up to pull on your underwear only, you like feeling Nathan’s shirt on your skin.

Once you’ve finished eating, you reach for the papers. You begin to thumb through them and it’s almost impossible to read. Hardly any of it makes sense to you, and you don’t know if you should feel dumb that he thinks you could read it, or dumb that he’s so smart to write something of this scale.

A text alert causes you to jump while you’re deep in this thesis. It’s from your cousin.

‘Where are you?’

‘You’ll never guess! I’m a Nathan Bateman’s!’

You text back and forth for a while. You catch her up on all that’s happened in the last few hours. You stop texting her to take a couple selfies showing her where you are. You playfully take a couple nudes; you lift his shirt and take some aesthetic looking photos of yourself.

You send one of the normal selfies to her. But then joke that you took nudes.

‘You should send them to him!’ she teased back.

You’re about to send her another photo when Nathan texts you and ask how it’s going. But you don’t register it’s from him and before you know if you’ve sent him one of your nudes.

You drop your phone in a panic and burst out the door. You have no idea where he even is, but you bolt down the hall to find him. You remember him pointing out his work area on the tour last night.

You turn the corner quickly and see him sitting quietly at his desk. There are several screens in front of him, and behind that is a wall covered in sticky notes.

He glances up at you, but you can’t tell if he saw it or not. His expression is blank. He seems confused now that you’ve sprinted into his office.

“Something wrong?”

“Please tell me you didn’t look at them.”

A slow smirk appears on his face. He saw it.

“So… who was that meant for if not me?” he scoots back in his chair to look at you better.

“Look, I was sending it to my friend to uh, hype me up. And I accidentally sent it to you.” Your heart is pounding in your chest. From the running, but also the thought of him seeing the photo. Ok yes, he saw you naked yesterday, but not like THIS. “Did you look at it?”

“Of course, I looked,” he shrugs and licks his lips. “And I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. But I kinda get the feeling you wanna hear my thoughts,” his smirk is plastered to his face.

“Just tell me, you're dying to say something. You have been since you saw me last night,” you blush hard.

“You’re fuckin’ gorgeous and I’d kill to touch your tits,” he states without so much as blinking. “But hey, it’s fine,” another shrug. “We can forget about this. No harm done.” He rolls back up to his screens.

“Wait,” you speak up, and he turns to face you again. You sigh heavily before you speak again, “ok so the picture was for you, sort of. I wanted to send it to you whenever I got the guts to make a move. So, I sent them to my friend to get her opinion, but I sent it to you instead by mistake.”

He sits quietly, his mouth quirks up in a soft smile.

“Is that you making the first move?” he asks referring to the ‘conversation’ last night.

You nod, biting your lip.

“Alright then,” he stands and cracks his neck.

“Right now?”

“Why not? You got somewhere you’d rather be?”

“I suppose now is the time I tell you that I'm, uh…. virgin,” you look down at your feet.

His expression softens and he takes a few steps forward. He puts a warm hand on your neck, just under your jaw and ear, “I’ve got you, okay? We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready, but if you are… I’ll take good care of you. I promise.”

He lowers his hand to your hip, and it all comes spilling out. “I want this. I want you. You’ll just have to show me how.” You blink at him, “you really liked my tits?”

He brushes his thumb along your hip, his skin burns through the fabric of his shirt.

“I wouldn’t waste my breath on it if I didn’t,” he leans closer to you. His body heat warms you in an entirely different way than last night. “Is my room ok?” he whispers. All you can do is nod, but you smile. He does too and grabs your hand.

“I can't believe that one picture of me did all this,” you lean into his shoulder as you walk over to his bedroom.

“Yeah? Well, you have some pretty powerful tits,” he chuckles. “Right in here,” his hand moves to your lower back pointing you towards his room.

“Look,” you start to talk while he sits down on the bed. He’s watching your every move. You know he knows you’re nervous. “I know this is probably going to be meaningless sex to you, but it’s not to me ok?”

“Kitten,” he frowns, “this is not meaningless to me. I told you last night, you’re exactly my fuckin’ type and I’d be a dumbass if I let you go. I mean if you want to leave, Kyoko will show you the door.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Really. I wanna get to know you. Every bit of you.”

“So, we’re starting with sex first,” you bite your lip, and he shrugs.

“What better way to get acquainted?”

“We haven’t even kissed yet…”

“You have to come closer if you want me to touch you, kitten.”

Each step closer to him makes your knees shake. You come to stand in between his spread legs and his hands grab your lower back. He pulls you onto his lap and goes right for your lips. His tongue slips between your lips and you moan. You grind yourself down on him and feel him harden between your legs and you gasp.

“Sure, you’ve never done this before?” he murmurs into your neck. “I got you,” he reminds you.

“Don’t say you won’t bite unless I want you to. Because I do. I do want you to,” you whine a little.

“Noted.”

He nibbles under your ear gently and you squeak. He squeezes you tighter and chuckles, his grip is tight.

“We need to get you out of those clothes,” he repeats his phrase from last night. This time it’s even scarier, but more exciting. He tugs on the hem of your shirt asking permission, which you give. He peels off the shirt revealing your bare chest underneath.

You wriggle under his gaze as his eyes rake over your body. You can feel him growing harder still beneath you.

“Please say something,” you whisper.

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I wanna…,” he clears his throat, “can I touch you, baby?”

You nod and his thumbs brush against your nipples first. His touch is soft, he traces all around your breasts with his fingers. Then he palms your breasts and squeezes. He bounces them, feeling the weight in his strong hands.

“Kitten,” he mouths at your neck. “I haven’t seen an actual person in months, and I haven’t touched a woman in well over a year. You’re gonna kill me.”

“In a good way I hope?” you moan a little. “Because you’re killing me.”

“Good?” he asks squeezing a little harder. “Fuck… fucking perfect. You seriously have the best tits I’ve ever seen, baby.”

When he lowers his head to your nipple, that’s when you really cry out. He hums happily and sucks harder. You buck your hips and he only seems to encourage it. He likes you wanting him. And he needs you, you can feel his need.

His beard brushes against your soft flesh and you shudder. He files that away with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Nathan-“ you whine. “Please.”

“Please what kitten? Use your words baby.”

“Lay me down?” you writhe again in his lap.

“Good girl.” He pats your ass and stands with your legs wrapped around him. He lays you down, then spreads his body on top of yours. He kisses your lips over and over. He thrusts himself onto your thigh and groans into your cheek. “Are you real?” he sighs happily with a soft groan.

“I keep asking myself that,” you laugh.

He chuckles deep in his chest and sits up, pulling off his shirt. You reach for him right away and he shivers under your hands.

“You feel so good,” you tell him, tracing his skin. He’s toned, but still has a softness to him. It’s perfect. And he’s warm, so warm.

He moves down between your legs, giving you another look asking for permission. You hesitate this time, and he waits patiently for you to nod. He doesn’t budge until you do.

His fingers dance along the hem of your panties and he slides them down. He whistles softly when he sees you’re wet and needy for him.

“All that for me, kitten?” he looks up at you. He leans up to kiss your lips and he murmurs against you again. “You ever use that vibrator and think about me? Want me to go get it? Let me make your fantasies real kitten.”

You can only blink at him and you open your mouth trying to speak.

“Baby, I can’t make your dreams come true if you don’t open that pretty mouth,” he chuckles. “Where do you want me? C’mon. It’s just me, no need to be shy.”

“But- you’re you!” you laugh. “Just, please, touch me.” You grab his hand and guide him to touch between your legs. “I want you here.”

“Good girl,” he praises again and kisses your hip. He slips a finger inside with ease and he delights in that. His thumb brushes your clit and when you shiver, he smirks. He knows he’s on the right track with you. “Can I add another?” he asks.

“Please!” you cry, and he obliges. The second finger is a pinch, but a welcome one. His thumb presses harder on your clit and rubs in tight circles.

“Feel good?” he asks though he knows the answer. He can read your body like all the code he works on. You clench around him, and he continues his touch. His fingers curl deep inside and you let out a loud moan. “There it is,” he hums and kisses your thigh. “You’re doing so good, kitten.”

You moan his name when you find your release, and he works you through it. His voice is soft but commanding and full of praises.

“You did so good baby. So, so good. Ready for more?”

“Please,” you buck your hips up. “Can I touch you?”

He climbs off the bed to pull off his shorts, his hard dick springs free. He pumps himself a few times and sits down next to you on the bed.

“Have you ever touched one before?” he asks, there’s no jest in his tone but he really, really is turned on that his dick is going to be the first one you’ve touched. And he wants to hear you say it.

“No,” you reach for him and he puts your hand on him.

“The tip is the most sensitive part,” he breathes, your hand already feeling good. “Fuck, yeah just like that.”

“You’re…big. Are you going to fit?”

He wants to moan, but he holds back. He’s so turned on from your shyness.

“I’ll fit kitten,” he chuckles warmly. “Fuck, squeeze harder-“

You squeeze him and enjoy the warmth and weight of him in your hand. He looks perfect, just like you imagined he would.

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Yes what?” he chokes out a gasp and pushes you off him.

“Yes, I used my vibrator and thought about you.”

“Thought so,” he winks and positions himself between your legs. “You ready for me? I’ll go slow.”

“Wait-“ you stop him before he does anything else. He pauses, he’s about to ask if you want to stop when you gently pull off his glasses. You get a better look at his soft brown eyes, and he seems almost shy when you look at him. He clears this throat. He reaches for your hands; he pins your wrists above your head and kisses you deeply while he pushes inside slowly. You moan together and he checks your face for any pain or apprehension. Your eyes are closed, and your mouth is open, and he hums kissing your cheeks.

“You with me kitten?”

“Push in more,” you gasp, and he chuckles darkly doing as you ask. He shudders, your warmth feels so good to him. He buries his face in your neck and tells you so.

“You have the best pussy,” he grunts as he pushes in all the way.

“You better not just be saying that” you gasp.

“Kitten, are you ever going to believe me when I say I don’t mince words? I mean what I fuckin’ say,” he purrs. He’s straining, he wants to move so badly. “Please, kitten- tell me how you feel. Use those words baby.”

“It’s good, it’s so good. Tight. But, oh shit, please- move.”

“Yes ma’am.”

He lets go of your hands and he starts to move. You grab his head and hold on for dear life while he snaps his hips into yours. You know he’s still holding back and if you told him to, he’d unleash his full power on you.

You wrap your legs around him, and while the feeling of him is new and foreign it feels good. There’s a dull ache, but it’s wonderful. Wonderful because it’s him.

“Nathan,” you moan, “let go. Manhandle me. Fuck me hard.”

He makes a strangled sound between a gasp and a laugh and starts to push into you hard. He holds your body close to his and he sits up, pushing deep into you. His face buries into your tits and he moans, he fucking moans into your skin.

You reach between your bodies to touch yourself, but he shoves your hand away. He rubs you tight until you’re clenching around him. You’re both covered in sweat and breathing heavily when he nears his end.

“Fuck, fuck. Where do you want me to come? Tell me now,” he growls. His thrusts are sloppy, his dick jumps inside you and he squeezes you tight.

“In me,” you moan, and no sooner did the words leave your lips did he spill himself inside of you.

“Holy fucking shit,” he sighs with a soft laugh. He cradles your head and lays you back down. He pulls out with a shudder as he kisses your forehead. “Fuck that was amazing. You were amazing.”

“I feel amazing,” you look up at him. Your body is humming.

“Can I run you a bath?”

“Will you join me?”

“Well, that was the plan…”

You shove his chest playfully. “Your thesis sucks by the way.”

“Ouch!” he puts his hand over his heart.

“I didn’t understand any of it!”

“I didn’t think you would. Really it was just an excuse for you to stay a little longer.”

Oh.

OH.

“Well why didn’t you just say so?” you smile warmly.

“Cuz I’m a dumbass when it comes to women.” He gives you a genuine smile.  “And I didn’t want to scare you anymore than you already were last night. I wanted you to want to come to me on your own terms. And I knew that if you didn’t understand the thesis that meant you really are here for me. And not my secrets.”

“So why did you give me the money?”

“Wanted to.”

“What am I going to do with you?” you laugh.

“Hopefully, a lot,” he nips at your chin.

“Nathan!” You shake your head laughing, but inside you feel it. That pull. You’re already falling for him and he is too. “I think I’m going to tell my cousin I’m going to stay-“

“Forever?”

“Yes,” you laugh. “Maybe I will.”

“We’ll get your things tomorrow. I want to meet my future cousin-in-law.”

// 

tagging: @pascal-isaac, @wasicskosgirl, @velvetmel0n, @huliabitch, @shadow-assassin-blix, @writefightandflightclub, @aellynera, @softboywriting, @veuliee2, @spider-starry, @mylifeliterally, @millllenniawrites, @ntlmundy, @foxilayde, @writingletterstothefire, @mandoplease​, @anetteaneta​, @feelmyroarrrr​, @artsymaddie​, @shakespeareanwannabe​, @thevalentinowhitebag​, @deanfanatic​, @magicsuperheroes​, @phoenixhalliwell​, @that-one-weird-one​, @mariesackler​

[wistfulrat]

yooo it’s been a minute bc i haven’t been reading much fic lately but i wanted to recc the shit out of two things real quick:

1) By the Grace by @letteredlettered - 140k, T Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror. it’s 20 yrs post-war and they are once again on the brink of destabilizing change with different factions promoting or opposing the removal of the veil/wards hiding the magic world. it’s neo death eaters vs. radicals. vs traditionalists vs. moderates vs. good cops vs. bad cops vs. anti-establishment etc. etc.

the hype is always real for lettered. she’s just one of the most thoughtful, nuanced drarry writers out there. u know this. we all know this. but i’m particularly taken with this fic for a number of reasons.

-this is as much political discourse as it is a romance. it’s about the insidiousness of corrupt systems, the redundancy of political violence, the ability for the wealthy and privileged in a society to come out of wars somehow still on top, the intergenerational work of activism that never ends but only evolves as marginalized people are always having to innovate against new forms of oppression. this is a disillusioned and exhausted harry who doesn’t owe the world anything and yet, knows internally that oppressed people do not have the luxury to opt out of politics.

-this is as much a romance as it is political discourse. it is a romance of choice, of forgiveness extended—not owed. bc 2 things can be true: people don’t need to mend things with people who’ve harmed them. and people who harm others are fully capable of change. those truths exist independent of each other. i think it was rainer rilke who said love is “two solitudes that meet” and there is something fundamentally gracious in that. bc harry and draco don’t owe each other their growth and yet, it’s that explicit distance of the self that allows for them to finally meet on equal terms. feat. lots of pining and self-restraint and love without expectation. 

-compelling original characters!! i particularly love harry’s therapist whose perspective acts as this grounding, third-party voice of reason and empathy which helps drive the core philosophy (thesis? emotional development? all those things i think) of the story. also there’s a breathtakingly handsome Thai activist in this fic and idk this is just me being thirsty on main.

-teddy’s characterization and rebel arc is cool as shit and i just love his tender, honest, challenging dynamic with harry.

-this is getting long just read the fic fmkdfjgh

2) the bonus episodes of GallaPlacidia’s podfic for Exposure feat. a 2-part conversation with @draco4draco about sex worker representation in drarry fic. My friend Blue and I discuss why the “down-and-out sex worker” trope we often see in Drarry and other fandoms is harmful, why these stories are so popular, and tips for fanfic writers considering writing sex work fics. 

if you’ve ever read a fic feat. sex worker draco or harry, i am begging you to listen to these episodes. they’re insightful, challenging, and funny. Blue shares their life experience and perspective while talking about the political, personal, and social dynamics around sex work. i didn’t know very much about any of this but what little i did was severely inadequate. and i feel like these episodes are very generous to the avg. ignorant listener while thoroughly addressing the stigma, misconceptions, and harmful ideas we grow up casually hearing about sex workers bc of how they’re portrayed in popular media. the convo was just all around extremely refreshing. also i am now obsessed with the premise of an office-style sitcom feat. the hilarious/banal locker room dynamics of regular day-to-day happenings in sex work. @draco4draco if u do ever write that fic, i'm therreee.

[wallylinda]

Yeah I mean basically the main thesis of the idea is that justice league is much in line with that early 2000s superhero vibe of campy superhero films, where put simply and unapologetically justice league animated/unlimited is unafraid to be a superhero show and it deals with super hero problems as well as real world issues of the day.

Then cut to young justice originally being aired back in 2012, post x men black suits and avengers and you see a superhero show while not ashamed about being about superheroes desperately wants to be taken as seriously as possible. But instead of talking about serious topics and still centering it around superhero’s, they fill it with blood and gore and loads of violence.

Put Frankly, justice league animated didn’t fuss the logic their world existed in purely superhero logic, loving it, making the most of all the batshit crazy weird shit comic book lore and saying “yes” while yjtv wants to be super deep avengers endgame type of LARGER THAN LIFE PLOT…but featuring characters outside the main team of six don’t even have lines in some episodes. Yjtv is a edgy gritty take on these characters that makes them feel hollow? I don’t really turn on superhero media for logic and gore at least not the flash or Superman

That’s my piece at least

Superhero media went downhill when they started treating the otherwordly concepts it presented as a flaw rather than a hella cool feature. Sure be gritty, be dark, but don’t forget that ultimately, it’s a fictional world whereupon exists an alien by the name of Clark Kent who grew up on a farm and loves his parents. The best examples of pessimistic storytelling present a scenario where people want to do good, are at times good, and still exist tragically. 

JLU was an amazing show because it dived into deep topics without limiting itself to what “should” be the standard of this genre. It wrote good stories and the drama made itself, honestly. On the other just remember a lot of...nothing, for Young Justice. It got hyped up a lot but looking back on my memories, there’s nothing there that would pique my interest now. 

So I think that you’re right, anon. 

[firespirited]

Documenting new arrivals who got fixed up and have bodies. Elissabat giving Fran Fine as a vampire vibes. And Frankie grey, so closed to finished and so far and the white shows up her yellowing 😭 Done while watching the two Sarah Z homestuck videos, I wasn’t going to even though I’d always wondered what the appeal of HS was, i’d rather a ten minute quick recap article instead ...but then they sent her legal threat and the whole thing went from “oh fandom!" to  👀“woah culty” but in a very wordy and tedious way, partly because H*ssie was dragging things on and on, partly because Sarah Z does not do short and concise.

ramblings on longform videos under cut

I don’t have a problem with long videos AT ALL if it’s multiple concise issues in chapters. Her (and many other’s) style of starting chronologically and issuing 40 disclaimers “before you yell at me” is not my fave style. I skip the disclaimers and assume good faith because left-tubers are held to higher journalistic standards than any netflix documentary or true crime podcast - fight me, you know it’s true ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway the chronological thing bugs me a little in critique/reviews: for example I wanted to watch this video about how cinema sins got Ghost in the Shell’s review all wrong and they went point by point for 90 minutes over a 15 min original video instead of “here are the moments they edited to make a sin where there was none” and “here is where they missed the metaphors”. It feels like fudging the dissertation to fit the page or word number instead of making the argument for your thesis or recapping fandom by eras and issues otherwise it becomes content for those in the know and just a slog to get to the real meat of things.

So after over three hours of homestuck “content” my understanding is the appeal of homestuck was a way of making fandom friends easily and fandom hype from the prolific output of a webcomic creator who let people really lean into the trollsona to do fan community stuff. Webcomic outlived it’s finale & became a zombie, launching a game kickstarter right around the creator’s burn-out was a terrible idea and should have been dropped for everyone’s sanity. fanworks should have stayed non canon (because fandom’s fine) and creators can be terrible employers. AH can’t give a straight honest answer for the life of them.

[ofmythsandmadness]

MY THOUGHTS ON TUA SEASON TWO: PART TWO (spoilers)

So...I finished season two.

I’m putting ALL my thoughts under the tab so please, don’t click unless you’ve seen it all, and/or you just....like don’t care about spoilers? But please if you’ve not watched it, watch it first ‘cause it deserves all the hype and attention.

You can read part one to this here.

FIVE HARGREEVES…

I deadass thought he was gonna die.

I thought throughout the entire show that he was going to die, and ESPECIALLY at the end, I thought that was it. I guess I’m glad though that he didn’t die of course. But I was convinced, and glad he didn’t and that there was no shock-value death of a major character. 

(though like maybe one of them should have gotten hit by a bullet in one of those final scenes?? I mean….there were bullets EVERYWHERE. By SO many guns. How did they miss every time????)

Aiden Gallagher did a terrific job with the character. I don’t agree with the things he personally has done but I am convinced on his acting abilities, I mean JEEZ. He sold the act and alongside Diego/David Casteneda, was really one of the best actors on the show. I am thoroughly impressed. I didn’t really like him much in Season One, but he’s sold the role to me now and I’m very impressed.

That being said... I kinda hated Five. That’s it. I liked him in general but some parts, I was so pissed off and just didn’t like. He was an asshole and I know he IS an asshole but it was beyond just being a grumpy old pisspot. And I don’t know really how to feel, because I know being 45 years alone and lost and then becoming the world’s best assassin or whatever will fuck your head up, so it makes sense. I just think there were points where he lost most of his humanity, and then he’d flip-flop back to a more caring being. I sort of just wished there was a clear definition to all of his thoughts and emotions on it all.

But at the same time his character makes sense so I don’t know how to feel??? Maybe I’m just pissed on how he treated Diego and shit. But I’m very very glad he’s not dead!! 

ALLISON HARGREEVES…

Okay, I thought she was REALLY dead in that scene. You know the one I’m talking about.

Holy shit.

I was so scared. And also it was so sudden (and a little cool admittedly how Lila just threw it back at her like that - HOW DO I WORD thAT NON-SEXUALLY) and I was so fucking worried they’d kill her off, because I find sometimes her character comes off a little disposable. Not because I want her gone, more that the show finds her an afterthought and pushes her with someone or ‘silences’ her.

But overall I loved her storyline. I didn’t know if I’d like her just being married, it felt again like an afterthought and she was being pushed to be with someone, but the civil rights movement plot was really well done, in my eyes. I loved too the agony of having such impressive powers, but scared of the effects of doing so and also not wanting to be the person she was before. I felt for her and I was so impressed with her separating herself from her past, trying to push away from being the one who had it all and trying to be her own self. I think that this season did that really well, with all the characters and finding themselves, and I just...I want her to be happy, and successful and I want to see her find a way to use her powers without causing pain to herself or others.

And not be with Luther. Please, anyone who can do a thing about it reading this, do not make her and Luther a thing.

(also - emmy raver lampman is in general so goddamn talented and beautiful and i wish her the best. i just heard her rendition of satisfied and me oh my, that gal deserves so much more love, i hope this show catapults her career even more forward)

VANYA HARGREEVES…

Literally invented cottagecore.

Also, I love her.

I was so impressed with the way they handled her queer storyline. I was so worried about it, admittedly because television shows have a history of handing out stereotypical plotlines and not caring about the depth of them but dear FUCKING heavens, I loved this one. I cried like a baby, and yet I was left almost happy, at the end? Not happy, because they’re apart and Sissy’s stuck in a world that she can’t be herself in, but there was a beautiful bittersweetness that I adored about it. And it was realistic, and they didn’t just follow a trope and leave it there to wither up and die.

Vanya was adorable in this season and while I normally hate the amnesiac storyline, I think it’s an easy way out, I liked it here! Because yeah it was I guess an ‘easy way out’, but it worked and it made Vanya be able to be here and actually start over. I didn’t want to see her so burdened with who she had been and who she was forced to be, I wanted to see her smile and dance and love her siblings and she could and I couldn’t be happier. I mean, when she was just saying how she loved her family and her family was amazing...obviously it’s funny cause the family’s so messed up, but she meant it and I just want so much good for her.

I just love how they naturally developed the idea of the Hargreeves genuinely liking each other. This season really brought them together but unlike the first, it wasn’t necessarily because they had to, but because they wanted to. And I think Vanya did that for them. 

Basically...I don’t know how to put it all into words without making this a 70-page thesis essay. But I love her and want the best for her.

(side note - I really also was impressed with Harlan. I was scared that somehow they were going to do something stupid with him, but he was adorable and I loved him. his character made me tear up a little, too. as someone who has close family with severe autism, it’s rare to see a show that doesn’t make an upsetting and non-accurate portrayal out of someone on the spectrum. but he was so precious and smart and good and Sissy loved him and dammit, I would die for that little family)

I’m ALSO curious if Vanya’s gonna visit Sissy ever? I mean I thought she would have at the end but obviously the cliffhanger didn’t leave room for that...idk know though because I think with multiverse theories and whatnot, she wouldn’t even know her but...eh.

KLAUS HARGREEVES…

I don’t actually have much to say on him, which is shocking because in Season One, I could have written a whole book on his character. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love him! He’s still one of my favourites, and I wish I could just take away his pain because that boy deserves at least a kernel of good in his life. But truly, there’s just not much I know to say about him??

The scene in the restaurant with Dave and his uncle though hurt. What hurt more though was his nonchalant nature about it, because he’s been through that so many times and he almost expected it, which hurt. It’s expected and I knew he couldn’t just waltz up to Dave and confess his love and they’d be dandy, but as a queer person, it was a punch to the heart just watching him go through that.

I just want him to be happy someday, and bond with his siblings because there’s a deep sadness that lurks with Klaus, and maybe it’s from the actor too but there’s a melancholy that I relate to, which I hate because that melancholy is a heavy burden to carry. A worthlessness, and a deep depression that he’s seemed to have fallen into that’s a bitch to climb out of and I’m scared that he won’t be able to. He covers it up in funny gestures and vices but it’s still destroying him. Even the cult - he lacks any real love and he finds it in meaningless places, never remembering their names or anything about them and coming off as an asshole when really, he’s just looking for someone who truly cares about him, who he is on the inside and listens to him without yknow, becoming brainwashed and treating him like a god.

I’m interested to see where the show takes his character.

BEN HARGREEVES…

This show really said fuck my feelings on this one, huh???

EPISODE NINE MADE ME SO NUMB AND SAD AND JUST - FUCK.

I cried so hard when he got to save the day. He finally could do more than just follow Klaus around, and he finally got to be more than their dead brother. For so long, Ben was just an idea, a memory and I can only imagine the pain of having to deal with that. They touch on it in the show but it’s so much deeper than just being alone with only Klaus to talk to - I mean Ben was literally nothing, to any of the others, aside from being their dead brother. And when he finally got to save them, and save Vanya and fucking HUG HER AS HE PASSES ON TO THE AFTERLIFE….when I tell you I sobbed....

And his hug with Diego, how HAPPY they both were….the way that they both just….:’((

And that scene with young Klaus and Ben....Netflix when I said I wanted more Ben content I don’t know if I meant THIS.

At the same time...it was beautiful and bittersweet because he was happy, almost, moving on to his next life. He was able to do what he needed to and move on and that was beautiful. And, he got to say goodbye to at least some of his siblings, and so I can’t truly be sad about his passing. Even though it made me sob like a newborn babe.

But also...what the fuck was that ending?

And by that I mean, who the fuck signed off on that stupid lil’ haircut??? HUH???? WHY DID HE LOOK LIKE HE WAS WEARING FUCKING FAKE BANG-CLIPONS AOIHWGOIHWOIWHOIGWH

IN CONCLUSION. Fuck Reginald Hargreeves and also just FUCK.

In conclusion, I really loved this season. It ended happier than I expected and that makes me happy, so much more happy then I thought I would have been. TUA has been one of my favourite shows, and I’ve over the past while waiting for S2, developed several strong loves for these characters. More than I’ve ever cared about others. And for the most part, they were given the justice I hoped they would be.

Overall, I am happy. And I hope we get season three, almost entirely just so I can figure out if Ben Hargreeves is wearing fake-bang clip ons or not. And also...like for everything else.

Also, what the fuck is a Sparrow Academy? Whomst??? And where’s miss Lila?? And are they technically related and if so HUH?? And also...no rights to Mr Reginald.

This is such a messy summary, lmao.

But let me know what you think! I’m going to rewatch it soon, probably tonight and I’m so excited to fall even more in love with it. (and them)

[incomprehensiblelentils]

I did not actually post about the SHIELD finale besides my bingo card yesterday because I was very tired lmao so here is my roundup of thoughts!

tl;dr 7.5/10, mostly pretty emotionally satisfying, the best My Little Pony/Care Bears episode I’ve ever seen, I will miss this dumb show, Skimmons forever <3

Someone appears to have sat the writers down and said “look, here are all the things you did wrong in season 2, a lot of them were super racist and make you look bad” and they went “ah fuck whoopsie, we can totally make up for that” and then...they kinda did????? like one of the things I hate most about this show is the Jiaying plotline, it’s very bad and racist and I’m not just saying that because it’s Dichen. But like...they gave them a whole emotionally resonant plotline where Daisy and Jiaying got to talk and like kinda make up??? and she died which sucked but I’ll take what I can get. SHIELD SAID JIAYING RIGHTS

KORA!!!!!! oh my god Kora is literally just Kara all over again and I don’t care, I LOVE this. I love that Daisy was like “ok you’re being super annoying but I still don’t want you to like die or whatever ‘cause you’re my sister, so I’m going to point out your shitty Nazi boyfriend is shitty in an attempt to get through to you.” AND THEN KORA LISTENED AND LEFT HIM. IT WAS MAGICAL. I was absolutely sure that Kora was on the express bus to Fridgetown and then she just didn’t die and she and Daisy get to be sisters now and it’s so beautiful!

Jemma just straight-up being in Dollstate was the funniest thing to me. I did Notice that Daisy was extremely acting like her handler, which was cute for the ten minutes this went on or whatever.

On that note, can’t believe that SHIELD continues to be a better Star Wars than Star Wars. See: Daisy floating in space Leia-style, Kora being turned from the Dark Side with love.

I cannot believe that the writers were like “how do we tie up the Chronicoms plot? We are going to CARE BEAR STARE them into being our friends!” It is so wildly stupid and charming and optimistic and I love it so much.

I also love that the entire thesis of the show is literally “the real Agents of SHIELD was the found family we made along the way.” ENDGAME WHOMST, SAID AGENTS OF SHIELD. WE ARE HERE TO BE A FAMILY NO FUCKING MATTER WHAT. FAMILY MEANS NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND. OR FORGOTTEN AT THE BOTTOM OF A CLIFF. (Daisy was not left at the bottom of a cliff, but still.)

Daisy gets to lead SWORD with her sister and her manfriend!!!!! That was lovely and a perfect ending for her. I’m so proud.

I also really warmed to Sousa over the course of this season, because when he first showed up and they were like TIME FOR ROOOOOMANCE I was like “ah shit here we go again” but actually, no, he’s totally fine. He’s just Victor from Dollhouse and his entire purpose is to be supportive and sweet to his ladyfriend. This is fine by me. I rescind my former statement that Robbie Reyes is the only man good enough for her, Daniel Sousa is also Lentils Approved™.

I have one (1) significant qualm and it is that Leo Fitz is a sentient piece of cowshit who was perfectly willing to hide out in a time pocket for YEARS and play house while the world was burning around him. He saw no problem with this and felt no guilt, unlike Jemma, who is a human being and felt guilt. I hate him so much and he should’ve gotten brain cancer and died. I am pretending that is what happened. Also, I’m fairly convinced the baby was his idea, not Jemma’s. We stan a relationship with mind control and reproductive coercion!!!!

The baby was REALLY cute though. Much like Morgan, it’s not her fault that her daddy’s a shithead.

I also feel cheated because I wanted to see Mack and Elena have kids!!! Like that’s obviously going to happen or at least they will adopt Flint and I got none of these things and I am annoyed about it.

I think Melinda’s ending is a little dumb, but mostly because if anyone deserves to retire, it’s her. I hope Andrew is still alive in this timeline.

I want a spinoff about the adventures of Mack and Elena, SHIELD Power Couple. I just think that would be cute and she, Piper and roboDavis seem like they’re having a great time.

VICTORIA HAND CAME BACK we literally cheered we were SO HYPED

Oh also Daisy spent the entire two episodes dragging the shit out of Deke and then he stayed behind in the past just like I wanted him to and we never saw him again and he never got anywhere near kissing Daisy HA HA HA HA HA.

IMPORTANT EDIT: Daisy and Jemma are two of the last to log off the call at the end of the episode and they promise to contact each other about a particular thing and then Daisy winks at her. SKIMMONS LIVES BITCHES

anyway! this show was weird and made me mad and sad a lot but unfortunately I love it and have built quite a lot of my fandom life around it, so uh. So long, you weird little superhero show. <3

[redandfranticfeelings]

okay ive been wanting to make a post like this for a while but i wanted to make it an essay and i dont know if i can really organize my thoughts in that way yet, so here’s a chronological bullet-pointed dump to explain my very important thesis:

be more chill is about internalized ableism, and jeremy, michael, and christine are all highly autistic coded. this is going to be very long and detailed but only because there’s a lot of details that work very well under this lens.

there’s probably even stuff i missed but this is already extremely long so it basically just functions as a way for me to collect a bunch of details that i can piece together later in a more coherent manner.

“more than survive” in the context of jeremy being autistic works so much. the theme of wanting to be just socially acceptable enough to not burn out or be harassed is so relatable, and it visually establishes very early how jeremy is isolated from his peers due to his own awkward behavior and hypersensitivity. it’s coupled with his very obvious anxiety disorder, but the social aspect just screams autistic coding to me. i take this song to basically be “not having a meltdown is basically my goal but i would love to be neurotypical enough so i can heighten my standards and actually enjoy my social life.” some choice segments:

“if i’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cuz freaking out is my okay”

jeremy’s house being a mess is partly due to his dad’s serious depression, yeah, but i believe the other aspect is that jeremy’s executive dysfunction makes it just as hard to clean up in his place

he gets super anxious at the prospect of his expected routine being shaken up and having to make the decision on his own of how to get to school

“so i follow my own rules and i use them as my tools to stay alive” honestly sounds like a euphemism for autism to me

jeremy not really realizing that he’s staring at chloe

“avoiding any eye contact at all” explains itself

michael’s introduction, oh my god, every time i watch this part i just adore it. i could talk a lot more about michael’s autism later but this whole segment sells it especially.

first off, michael keeping his hood up and headphones on in a deliberate attempt to avoid social interaction and stay in his own space is such an autistic mood. even before this scene he’s constantly moving in the background to his music a la stimming. in the later performances he spends a lot more time playing with his hoodie strings and even chews on them!!

the fact he doesn’t talk to or even really look at jeremy until his song is done playing also feels very autistic to me! and the way he dances so confidently and basically pretends even his best friend isn’t there for the time being because he’s engrossed in his own passions.

michael is a great friend but it’s clear that he doesn’t really understand that his coping mechanism doesn’t really work for jeremy, and that even though michael feels confident reclaiming his identity as a ‘loser,’ jeremy doesn’t really feel any better about it. i think a lot of autistic folks, or at least i do, have this tendency to assume what works for us works for everyone around us at first due to our struggles with empathy. michael tries his best but struggles to see outside his point of view. it’s mind-blindness in action and jeremy can’t communicate why it upsets him any better than michael can pick up on it not working for him.

near the end of the song, they have a brief moment where all the ensemble crowds in around jeremy and the lights start flashing, which i interpret as a visual representation of sensory overload.

we’ll talk more about her soon, but outside of jeremy’s fantasies about her, christine also avoids social interaction during this number, constantly hiding her face in a book and avoiding eye contact just as much as jeremy. people forget that she’s not comfortable with unexpected social interaction, and that really informs my headcanon for her which brings us to....

“i love play rehearsal” is an autistic anthem. it also works, possibly even better due to in-text evidence, as an adhd anthem, but combined with the above it makes so much sense for her to be comorbid autism/adhd. i did a breakdown of the song in this context before, but i’ll sum it up here

the song showcases what having a special interest/hyperfixation is like. christine is singing to jeremy, yes, but she really seems so caught up in her own passion without much regard for how jeremy is following it, and even cuts him off from responding to her once or twice because she’s just so hyped up on her own feelings. she also basically implies her happiness is reliant on her special interest which is very relatable.

lines like “you follow a script so you know what comes next” also really sell the interpretation that christine isn’t good in unpredictable situations, and has so many identity issues and likes having something to look to where things are laid out for her. i think that stability is what a lot of autistic people look for, especially teenagers.

also with that in mind, look at how upset she gets watching a play she loves about get rewritten into something weird and new that she doesn’t know.

also gotta love how she still self-isolates before this song by focusing on her book, until she has a reason to infodump to jeremy. and then feels guilty afterwards and goes right back into her book while apologizing for getting “carried away”....biiiig mood there

the whole intro scene showcases both of their awkwardness so much. jeremy gets completely thrown off by her sarcastic comment about the swim team and almost believes it, which implies that he can’t read tone very well. and then christine’s “you’re a virgin” comment comes across like she really didn’t think about how that would sound to jeremy before saying it since she only made the clarification after he was ready to panic about it. she has a habit of speaking before she thinks, i think, the self-harm comment is also very awkward considering she barely knows jeremy.

after that scene we get “more than survive reprise” where jeremy admits to routinely having such bad breakdowns that he needs to step out and go to the nurse which works for both the anxiety disorder and the autism interpretation.

i’m not quite sure whether i see rich as autistic (i see him with a lot of mental issues for sure though) so i can’t say much on “the squip song” but there’s definitely something to describing a confused autistic kid as “almost helpless.” rich definitely has a habit of giving too much information though, i’ll say that.

“two player game” is just jeremy and michael being autistic solidarity: the song. i guess this is a good place to say that jeremy and michael work well as a contrast b/w two sides of autistic community, the side that struggles to function and desperately wants a change bc they’re afraid of being alone forever, and the side that tries to love all their symptoms and embrace their autistic pride. and as coincidental icing on the cake, jeremy wears blue (associated with the derogatory views from autism speaks) and michael wears red (associated with combating said views through autistic pride).

btw you could probably attribute michael’s ability to casually down a long-expired crystal pepsi as a sort of weird sensory quirk. and his fixation w/ that sort of memorabilia honestly feels like a special interest in its own right!

both “nice sideburns....wolverine, right” and “like in x-men????” using fiction as a reference point for real life always gives me autistic vibes (esp the first point where he awkwardly uses it to start conversation). can we assume x-men is a special interest? :3

jake referring to jeremy as a ‘freak’ when the squip turns on is really sad in this context but it also does make so much sense

now we get to the squip.....and what do you know, it uses tactics from abusive therapy used on autistic children. dare i say that “be more chill” as a song isn’t just an abuser’s song, but an ableist’s abuser’s song.

first off, the “spinal stimulation.” here’s a not so fun fact: electroshock therapy has been used to discourage autistic behavior in very recent years. (content warning in link for graphic description of ableist torture)

then the lyrics, in which the squip mostly focuses on jeremy’s posture and physically punishes him for disobeying. jeremy is shown to really struggle to stand up straight and pose himself in a normal, confident way, and i think that tendency to be unaware of what our body is doing is a pretty autistic thing?

the fact the squip singles out stammering and refers to jeremy’s “tics and fidgets” brings attention to two more autistic traits of jeremy’s

the squip basically punishes jeremy for responding “incorrectly” to social situations like rejecting brooke, even if they aren’t objectively wrong. it eventually just starts speaking for jeremy because jeremy seems incapable of acting natural. the squip is an abusive autism parent.

“sync up” demonstrates jeremy’s weird relationship with empathy. he wants to be nice to everyone- will has even called him “deeply empathetic”- but he’s initially really bad at seeing other people’s point of view, which is why he positions himself as sort of against the world, seeing everyone as better than him or trying to set up these barriers of Coolness where everyone else must be perfect compared to him. he’s so surprised to learn that the popular kids also hurt because of his strict idea of the social structure. it’s a combination of low self esteem and a black-and-white viewpoint.

let’s go back to christine. the squip, already established as ableist abuser, finds her “highly unusual” for acting in a way that disregards everyone who views her. she has very strange and specific visions in her head, and it seems very natural for her even if jeremy struggles to follow along.

in later performances, she chews on her sleeve and spins around during AGTIKBI. that’s stimming, babes. also gotta acknowledge “i don’t always relate to other people my age, except when i’m on the stage”

i’m gonna use this section to talk about jake and christine. christineis a bit unsure when interacting with jake, until he validates her interest- her acting is what really touches him. but jake, while good-hearted, has trouble being self-centered and thus not fully aware of christine’s own needs and space. so christine is always a little uncomfortable around him, especially in public, and not always willing to socialize. he is right about her being kind of stuck in her comfort zone, though, not doing anything off of her stage. and he is genuinely nice to her, it’s just a matter of their social strategies clashing.

the fact that the squip blocks out michael...i’ve had a lot of times in my life where i was told that socializing with other “weird” people would be counterproductive for my social development and it was part of why i was stuck with so few friends. so i really feel the idea that blocking out the person who helps you feel confident in your atypicality is framed as a good thing so you can act more socially adept, and that doing otherwise would just drag you both down.

hot DAMN does “loser geek whatever” make so much sense for an autistic kid with internalized ableism.

“it’s not only school that’s rough, being lonely’s stupid tough” makes it pretty clear this isn’t about the school social scene as muc as it is the entire social scene of the world. we may not see it, but it’s just (not) interacting with people in general that jeremy can’t stand.

“michael says that weird is rad but feeling weird just makes me sad” as stated above, makes a Lot More Sense with the idea that michael is both a more confident autistic and really bad at addressing jeremy’s own internalized ableism and desire to make connections outside his small friend group.

everything about jeremy boiling down all his problems to his “instincts” sucking and needing to basically be told what to do really highlights how autistic kids can feel broken because of their inability to fit into the social norm, to the point where we repress every behavior that actually makes us feel comfortable and unique. 

not to mention the line about him being seen as a “normal handsome guy” since autistic people tend to be infantilized and never seen as desirable (will roland also implied this line has trans coding which is another discussion altogether but i feel i should acknowledge that here)

all of those terms that jeremy calls himself near the end- namely weirdo, misfit, oddball, freak, failure- all of this sounds like the shit people throw at autistic kids. like this goes beyond anxiety alone, this is jeremy being outcasted and oppressed by the general public due to his behavior. especially the “please don’t speak” part, considering how often autistic kids are mocked for misunderstanding when to speak, how to speak, and what to talk about. jeremy needs some freaking love. :(

“michael in the bathroom” is a panic attack, related to severe anxiety, but i do see a lot of aspects that play into autism as well. the little nervous stimmy movements of foot-bouncing and picking at grout, the explosive sensory overload during the “knock knock” section of the bridge, the whole concept of losing the only person you ever managed to connect to without sacrificing who you are, dealing with this massive change to your sense of philosophy and reality where you pinned everything on one person to ground yourself, and thus you’re now completely lost trying to isolate yourself from this big overwhelming social gathering...neurodivergent anthem all around.

jeremy and christine’s couch interactions during halloween give me such autistic positivity. christine basically echolales jeremy’s weird noise and they both have so much fun vocal stimming that they forget there’s another person in the room. it’s such a sweet moment until jeremy ruins it by realizing that asking her out right after a breakup is Not Really Good For Her.

christine’s reaction to the fire demonstrates a clear case of hyperempathy to me. it isn’t discussed as much as a complete lack of empathy, but autistic folks are prone to feeling way too much especially when it comes to others’ pain. christine talking about how she hates that everyone’s hurting and desperately wants to help but doesn’t know how, and how we’ve already seen how much she struggles to connect with others like jake....it’s a very relatable, very specific autistic mood.

going back to the theme of jeremy and empathy, christine’s above hyperempathy kind of breaks this mold, and while jeremy always does feel for the other kids, by this point he feels so strongly- particularly for christine, who he also saw as a perfect confident being until now- that the squip can manipulate him into “fixing” everyone the same way the squip was supposed to “fix” him. and he never considers that christine doesn’t need to be fixed because he just projects his own insecurity that strongly onto everyone else who seems “weird” in the same kind of way- hence why he assumes michael is jealous of him back in MITB. it’s likely a result of the squip’s manipulation but i feel like mind-blindness is a factor, even if jeremy switches between struggling to process others’ emotions and being extremely empathetic.

michael’s special interest saves the day!!! :D

the whole fight b/w jeremy and michael, assuming it comes from a genuine place of repressed bitterness, has a lot of added subtext with them both being autistic. jeremy accusing michael of “giving up” on social interaction, michael envies jeremy for trying bc michael is clearly Not comfortable in most large social settings, jeremy envies michael for his pride, it just hits home for me i guess

rich calling michael “antisocial headphones kid” honestly how is michael not canon autistic

in the off-bway version michael briefly speaks too loud forgetting that jeremy’s head still hurts which is a relatable Forgot About Boundaries thing. plus him smacking rich playfully forgetting that rich is Still In Pain

“voices in my head” works nice as a fuck-societal-norms-and-just-be-happy song. “embrace the traits that make you so odd” in particular :’)

jeremy remembering christine’s infodump about her obscure bowling alley performance art idea and bringing it up to her again!!!

the squip doesn’t go away because ableism and the anxiety it brings and all the upsetting symptoms of autism don’t go away, but with the right support and confidence you can live with them!!! good message for mental disorders in general and works very well in this context!!!

so in conclusion.....be more chill is autistic pride!!!

[eternaleve]

I’ve spent the course of COVID lockdown cycling through hyperfixations while also trying to engage in some much needed therapy (lolsob), and I’ve been essentially encouraging myself to try and do more things I can enjoy without feeling shame. Anyway, that’s a short way of saying I decided to blog about all the music videos of Depeche Mode for reasons of science.

The science is that my basic premise is that most of the videos are pretty bad in ways that I find to be pretty strange. Full disclosure is that I spent my teen years being a huge Cure fan and there’s an overlap there? Of songs with very niche high-concept ideas that don’t necessarily map onto a model of popular music but found mainstream success in the rise of new wave music in the wake of the collapse of first wave punk and amplified by the creation of music videos and music video TV. And I owned all the Cure music videos and played them on my iPod Nano because I was a very strange child. But to get back to my central thesis, many of The Cure’s videos are very stylised and fun and memorable in ways that are good. And yet, despite existing in the same sphere and having an overlap of fans, the music videos for Depeche Mode mostly stay bad until the end of the eighties, a fact I will prove by watching them all.

Can you tell that I am bored because i have lost my job and my mental health is making me fixate on strange shit currently because that is absolutely the case right now

Speak & Spell

Dreaming of Me (Feb 1981)

The single art is really lovely - the red/yellow contrast is very striking against the white, and I really love the design. Hey remember when people used to go out and buy singles and you would appreciate them and the work that went into them? I don’t think I’ve bought a physical single since I was about sixteen. I used to buy them from the Woolworths music department because it was cheap and all my friends worked there, so they had a pretty lenient attitude about what exactly constituted paying for things. Woolworths policy of only hiring teenagers is probably what destroyed their business.

Anyway, Dreaming of Me did not chart super well, getting to number 57 and having no official music video - or actually getting onto the album. It wasn’t included on Speak & Spell in the UK until the 2006 re-release. So, there was no music video for me to look at…

Apart from this video I found from local TV in 1981 to promote the song. It’s a maybe-music video. Because music videos had only been around for about six years and MTV didn’t exist until later in the same year, my guess is that Mute Records were pretty cautious about putting money into a medium that might cost more than they would get in publicity. That’s only a guess. I don’t have a crystal ball for forty years ago. 

Anyway, here are some children recording music.

If i was 19 and someone offered me a recording contract I would have taken it without thinking (like i took on all those student loans without thinking through any consequences wompwomp) but now I am nearly thirty I watch this and think, ‘These children shouldn’t be outside unaccompanied’. The passage of time has made a fool of me.

They go bowling and play Space Invaders which, hey, still sounds like a great night out to me, but I’m guessing that because this is very clearly aimed at teenagers the TV producers didn’t want to encourage teen drinking by showing them performing a gig at a club night.

I call it high fashion. The all-grey really sells it.

This reminds me so much of a advice column in teen magazines - when they’d have problems set out in a little faux-comic strip of still photos? ‘My best friend stole and read my diary’ ‘My crush found out about how I feel and now he’s going out with my best friend’, that sort of thing. That is also a classic carpet pattern. I think my grandma’s living room had that carpet. 

The video is very naive! It’s the sort of thing we would all see now on Youtube from bands just starting out and it is wild to me that this went out on TV. It’s very un-glossy and normal, the stuff that bands put out on YouTube now because of DIYness.

New Life (June 1981)

This is also a really great piece of single art. It’s very bold and striking - it would definitely be the standout record in a sea of other 7’’ released the same week. It also doesn’t particularly match the tone of the single but eh, it looks pretty cool. New Life did much better than Dreaming of Me and got up to number 11 in the UK singles chart. Still no official music video, but the charting meant that the band got onto Top of The Pops! ToTP was cancelled when I was a wee baby teen, because the BBC decided to stop caring about yoof viewership and promoting music was circling the drain everywhere as streaming hit, but it was the place to promote music so was definitely a sign that You Had Made It.

So, last video was silly and made by children, but now they’re wearing see-through mesh shirts, leather trousers, and leather hats with a design that I am a little bit dubious about. I grew up on the oi/punk scene and let me tell you about how many first wave punks wear iconography of bad regimes for faux edginess reasons because I met a LOT of them in my time.

Oh boy do i have thoughts about that hat. It also looks like a Leather Daddy hat which, well, let’s leave that thought to one side. Most ToTP performances were lipsynced. Playing things live would sound weird in the studio, be picked up strangely by the audio equipment and the cameras, so 99% of performances were mimed to the single. Now, some acts would deliberately play up to the pretence and refuse to act like they were doing anything that corresponded to the song - The Jam, The Communards, and The Cure are literally the first examples that come to mind who would just… not do anything close to pretending it was real. 

This is not that. It is very earnest and awkward and serious, which sort of makes it very sweet.

Just Can’t Get Enough (September 1981)

Right, that is shibari, isn’t it? I’m not blind, am I? It’s a very striking image that 99.9% of people would not recognise other than being a striking black and white image. 

I don’t think I can overstate how… innocent, in a way, this point of time was? As in the general level of knowledge about non-conventional stuff in the wider public at large. As in my mother, an almost teen at this point, saw George Michael walking with his boyfriend in central London and had no idea he was gay until he came out. It’s actually the widest cultural gulf I can think of between her teen years and my teen years because I was very aware of queer people from a young age.

Anyway, moving on, I feel like it bears repeating that this song fucking slaps. It’s the last single to be written by Vince Clarke and the last single until 2006 to be written by someone other than Martin Gore. This is one of those songs that just works on every level. Can you imagine coming up with this for the first album of your band? That blows my mind. It’s so overpoweringly good that it was probably for the best that it was saved for last - coming out the gate with a guaranteed fucking banger was been the nail in the coffin for a lot of other eighties synth/electronica bands. They scored a huge hit and then nothing after that managed to be as good or meet the hype. Depeche Mode had built up a far bit of radio play and interest before dropping this which turned out to be very good in the long run!

This got to number 8 on the UK charts and the first to get a music video! It is the only one with Vince Clarke. Full disclosure in that I had this song on my iPod through downloading the video to my computer (that’s how we got songs without using stuff that would give us viruses because i got a ton using bearshare for rare cure demos) and I remember watching the video, all of sixteen years old, and thinking, ‘Man, all these people look so grown up, compared to me, I can’t wait to be an adult!’.

Twelve years have changed my view, somewhat.

Look at this little baby man. Were you in one of my A Level classes - as in, ones that I have taught, not ones that I have been in.

Vince Clarke, however, has had a significant glow up in the six months and now looks like he is the bouncer in a leather bar. This is the One Adult in the room.

Ahh, I see it’s Open Mic Night at the local leather bar. You know what I was saying about how teens in the eighties tended to be significantly more naive about what we might call certain signifiers? Because what this outfit says to me, a queer woman in 2020, is susbstanitally different than to my mum and her friends watching this when it first came out. She would read this as ‘This is totally rebellious and cool!’ while I go ‘Someone just joined the university kink club and spent all their bursary’.

I don’t remember the member of Blazin’ Squad that wore a slave harness. (Now, there’s a reference that shows my age. A Blazin’ Squad reference in the year of Our Lord 2020. Hoooo boy.)

I read somewhere (that I can’t find now because, of course I can’t) that these are the band’s girlfriends and I always remembered that because it made me think, lol, same. One of my closest friends is the Head of London, so she’s in every band in London and if she’s not in yours yet give her time, and my partner was in a locally successful metal/hardcore band for about a decade and being connected with any sort of band means you will be helping out hugely behind the scene constantly. I have held lights, moved speakers, picked up instruments, been in music videos, and have bought tearaway trousers and glowsticks for gigs. You get called in to help all the time which is a lot of fun, so that fact always just stuck with me. It also makes sense financially because then you don’t have to hire any professional backing dancers, you can rely on people who will happily do it for free (while looking pretty rad while doing it!).

Anyway, the band look like those generic raiders that you run into when randomly walking across the map in a Fallout game.

I love awkward choreography in music videos. It feeds me.

Filming a night out provides A) Great footage and B) Can be done for limited overheads, leaving more money to be put into promotion. 

I always like seeing this sort of footage in music videos. I tend to see a lot of it, given the DIY punk scene, and it always charms me. I am easy to please. And all those women have the most amazing eye makeup that makes me super jealous because it all looks so good.

That hat is on point. This looks like a still image for some sort of cyberpunk big band style swing revival that, sadly, lives only in my dreams.

It took me so goddamn long to screenshot this shot probably because i was also blasting dream nails whoops

Anyway those are my reactions to Speak & Spell’s one solitary music video with some other things thrown in and this took me way too long. I make myself laugh though, that’s the main thing. I will do A Broken Frame… at some point. I think I have a bunch of vinyl for A Broken Frame? My mum actually bought all the singles for that album and I stole most of her collection years ago. I will have to search and see what I can find.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 124 Poll Results

The chapter 124 poll closed with 2,065 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ ,  @shifter-lines and @ladymoe6​

  RATE THE CHAPTER 1,926 Responses

Fours and fives still dominate but there’s no denying that this chapter lacked the hype we’ve seen recently. “Thaw” had the lowest number of 5’s this year, performing similarly to the Zeke-centric flashback chapter in 114, “Sole Salvation”. (There’s a pun to made here about us “warming up to Thaw” but sadly I am not smart enough to make it.)

The Chapter of Necessary Filler & the Obligatory Cliffhanger

I love that Isayama isn't rushing everything and is actually focusing on little details and small interactions between characters. He really isn't glorifying an "apocalyptical scenario" just for the sake of destruction in itself or shock value.

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride.

This chapter was a breath of fresh air ngl. These past chapters were mostly full of either a flashback, monologue or just having two characters talking in a realm where nothing happens and time is frozen, but, at last, the plot is moving foward in the real world too. Not only it contained long gone titan action, but also great character development/moments as well. I missed this.

The leaks didn't give this chapter justice

A weaker chapter overall, I hope all this buildup will be well spent in the next chapter.

I actually loved everything about this chapter, I can't believe Isayama finally gave me a reason to kind of like Gabi. I'm sure she'll do something to immediately change that…

Isayama-sensei is the best, each chapter is a 10/10 for me. I do agree that this chapter is not as great as as the last 5, but it's still great. This year is impossible to choose the Top 5 Best Chapters of SNK

It was good, but I was hoping for a crazier year closure.

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

1,995 Responses

There were many great moments in this chapter, but Annie’s highly anticipated return to the active plot takes up the largest amount of votes! Other notable moments were: Shadis taking command, Armin realizing Annie’s crystal must have unhardened, the 104th discussing Eren, and Jean’s salty reaction to Floch’s continued survival.

A N N I E is BAAAAAAACK!!!

as someone too invested in the gabi-nicolo-braus plot thread by i love sasha i am absolutely Fed with that excellent "get out of the forest" talk. thank u for the good food nicolo

It's great to see the other 104th members discuss about Eren's actions. At least we got a glimpse on what they think about Eren's plan.

For once I'm gonna forgive Isayama for putting off Levi and Hange. I FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE ANNIE BACK ON MY BIRTH MONTH!!! BEST PRESENT EVER

I like the parallels to Trost, especially the part with the thunder spears sort of mirroring the thing with the guns and the elevator from S1

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTERS MVP? 1,988 Responses

Despite the influx of negative commentary, 38.2% of respondents agree that Gabi’s persistence to save Falco and reconciliation with Kaya earned her the MVP title this month. The strongest contenders were Shadis and Jean.

Annie saved this chapter from the Gabi / Kaya focus

Connie- the underrated suffer boi

Gabi best girl!

I am proud of Jean for taking charge, he acted like a real commander.

Reiner Best character 😔👌

SHADIS IS THE MVP AND I LOVE HIM

  WHICH CHARACTER WERE YOU MOST DISAPPOINTED WITH? 1,998 Responses

“None of the above” was a popular suggestion (25.2%) but Connie edged that choice out by a percentage point (26.3%) . At least you guys listen when the evening news says that stealing children is bad.

Silly of you to ask us which character we're most disappointed with. We're always disappointed with Floch in every panel he shows up in

it's good to have a connie development, but I was a little sad about his attitude

I'm not so much disappointed with Connie in this moment as I am with the direction his character arc has gone lately in general. I miss when he was fun instead of angry all the time.

I think everyone is acting super irrational. Eren is going to destroy the world but all the SC are "accepting" of it. I think deep down they are all horrified and in a completely insane mental state causing irrational decisions and thoughts such as Jean being okay with genocide.

I understand that Connie is desperate to find a comfort after all the ppl he lost, but I'm still extremely disappointed in him for wanting to murder a child. Not just Connie tho, the same goes for Jean and Armin. Armin didn't say "Let's not kill a freaking child" he just objected because he didn't want to provoke Reiner and Pieck.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF REINER’S ROLE THIS CHAPTER? 1,889 Responses

Reiner takes a back seat this chapter, and just barely over half of the fandom believe he deserves that nap after all he’s been through.  Another quarter, at 25.8% are wishing he could just die at this point, for better or worse.

"Enough already. Just sleep." - Reiner to Eren in 117

Can Reiner pick an opinion and stick with it for .2 seconds. he's like hardcore ready to kick ass and then immediately turns around and is ready to die again

Game over man

He's cute. End of the story.

I think it was bizarre that Gabi just let him fall asleep and left him in an enemy territory where he could be captured or eaten by a mindless titan

I understand him being tired an all, but sleeping in the middle of a warzone and at the start of the apocalypse???

Helos needs his rest and good dreams of Bert

I think it is set up for his future death : saving Falco by being eaten by Connie's mom (he was there with Connie in Ragako village)

Madlad goes to sleep instead of dying

Man literally too tired to die

There were certainly worse ways than "passed out from exhaustion" that he could've been written out of the chapter. At least we know his current status this way, unlike a certain duo...

He need some milk

Reiner votes for “Can’t he just die already?”

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE EREN PARALLEL IN GABI AT THE MIRROR? 1,869 Responses

Gabi’s design is based on Eren, and she’s had similarities and parallels to him in the past, what does the parallel in this chapter mean stacked on top of all of that?  About 70% say it’s to further emphasize how similar she is to him at her core.  12.7% don’t think it was an intentional parallel to that Eren scene, 7.7% say she’s going to receive his titan, and a solid 1% wrote in the eloquent thesis of “Fuck Gabi.”

A bit too on the nose

Both have the common factor of determination and the desire to fight to save someone else. "Fight, fight" = "Like I'd give up" In Eren's case, his scene in the mirror is portrayed in a darker, more aggressive environment, he must fight to save his loved ones, but for this goal he must destroy everything. On the other hand, Gabi shows a more heroic/pure attitude, the light is predominant, and his words refer to the desire to fight to save Falco without taking this violence path unlike Ere

Eren cant copyright this hairstyle

How dare she stand where he stood.

I didn't like any parallels that include Gabi. Not this one, and most certainly not the one with Sasha.

It definitely foreshadows something, but I don't think it's that she'll inherit his titan. I think she's going to be the one to end this madness and break the cycle. Unlike Eren, who fights for freedom both for himself and his loved ones, Gabi will fight for peace and equality: a different kind of freedom.

It symbolizes Gabi's character arc starting to go in the opposite direction of Eren, rather than showing them being similar.

It symbolizes Gabi's change in motivation to do anything to save her friends. Just as Eren's motivation in the mirror scene really marked the moment he turned genocidal to protect his friends.

  DO YOU AGREE WITH JEAN’S CONCLUSION THAT EREN IS DOING WHAT HE’S DOING TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES? 1,950 Responses

Jean believes he’s figured out why Eren’s doing what he’s doing, does the fandom agree?  The large majority think that’s at least a part of it, as 40.8% think it’s solely that goal in mind, and another 53.5% believe it stemmed from that desire but has evolved and become more complex.  3.3% of fans don’t believe that’s where his motivation stems from at all.

But if that's his goal it still doesn't explain chapter 112

EREN is doing it to protect his friends. YMIR wants vengeance and bloodshed.

I agree, because I really don’t know what else could have been done. The Eldians were hated all over the world and Talk-No-Justu is a folly.

I don't know what to think. At first, Jean seems to be in denial (like most of the 104th), but perhaps it's his way of realizing things. No, Eren must love them a lot, there's absolutely no way that his genocide is unjustified. Right...? Wait…

I think he's being pragmatic and analytical. Like a real leader. Something I expected from Armin. However Armin has strokes of genius during critical times so I'm expecting something.

In a breaking bad way, yes

Yes, although I believe Eren's old and complex relationship with the idea of freedom also plays a big part in this situation.

No, because he isn't doing anything about the mindless titans and treated his friends like trash. I didn't see any kind of concern while they were in danger. I think he's more eager to set his ideals into action.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO WHAT TO DO WITH FALCO? 1,958 Responses

Another serumbowl type discussion arises, yay!!...?  The vast majority, at a combined 81.4% don’t want to feed Falco to anyone, and just want to wrap him up and not start any more conflict.  11.6% think he should be fed to a known titan such as Pixis, and only 4.3% side with Connie’s reaction of feeding him to his own Mama Springer.

Falco is too important. He and Connie will probably have an arc.

Feed him to Floch, jaw titan always dies stupidly and Floch never dies so it should cancel out

Feed him to Levi that way we get jaw Levi and his hand back.

Feed Zeke to Connie's mom instead and take Falco somewhere safe

I don’t have anything against Falco personally, but it makes since to feed him to someone else

I like Falco, but Connie has lost far more than anyone outside the Walls. If feeding Falco to Connie's mom gives Connie some semblance of peace, so be it

NILE !

In a perfect world Connie can have the satisfaction of feeding ZEKE to his mother. Kinda proud that I predicted the “Connie tried to revive his mom” plot point but I think the fact that it’s falco means that Connie fails

There's no right answer here, but I can't imagine any mother would be able to live with the fact that she ate someone else's child in order to live again, so that's probably the worst option.

Well, logically speaking, Falco should probably be fed to Pixis. But my heart calls out for me to wrap him in a blanket.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF CONNIE SEEMINGLY SNAPPING ON THE OTHERS AND INSISTING FALCO BE FED TO HIS MOTHER? 1,947 Responses

Understanding prevaled with close to 80% of the fandom selecting “I don’t agree with his actions but I wholeheartedly sympathize with his reasoning”. Only 13% indicated that they were disappointed with him.

Falco's a kid, man! You don't cross that line!

Connie, if your mom needs a kidney transplant, you don't just shank another person to steal their kidneys. Just saying.

Connie has been pushed to his limit. He needs a nap and a minute to cry.

Although Connie is not thinking clearly, I'm glad they're not blindly hating on him like some have been doing for Eren.

Connie's break is truly amazing to me. The guy was always so good and chill and dedicated before these hard times. To see him at his breaking point, horrified by everything that is happening and overwhelmed by the situation, and thus reverting into single-minded dedication to one fundamental goal - saving his mother. It's tragic to see him like this and it's probably not the best "logical" action, but it makes complete sense that he'd do this. He's sick of this clusterfuck. He has a ticket to save his mom and he's gonna take it. Poor Falco though, of course.

I didn't see it coming, but it's not like it's unthinkable. When the world collapses we often want to run back to our mama.

I disagreed with him, but I thinks his feelings are understandable and, also, I liked a lot that he pointed out 104's hypocrisy. The serum drama is coming back to bite their asses.

I understand he wants to see his mom again but does he really want to give her the cruel fate of becoming a titan shifter?

I understand his reasoning, but this is literally the WORST possible time to cause an internal crisis

I'm sad for him & deeply uncomfortable by it.

I’m mad at Connie only because he straight up abandoned his duty to pacify the Titan situation.  He left Jean, Mikasa, and Armin to take care of it without him. Lucky Shadis was there to help.

  REGARDLESS OF YOUR VIEWS ON CONNIE’S ACTIONS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM FINALLY GETTING SOME TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT? 1,946 Responses

More than half the fandom was happy to see him speak his mind and get some character development (53.3%). 16% were absolutely thrilled. Those who don’t care, and those whose disappointment over how he returned soured the moment came in at 10%... I’m willing to bet at least one of those votes is because he doesn’t have a new hair style.

Going to the dark side doesn't suit the former sunshine called Connie.

My man has been in the story since the beginning. He is well overdue for an arc.

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

But why FALCO? He's the ONLY character outside the Walls I actually LIKE!

Finally we get to see him say something about his mother. Yeah, maybe he's not one of the most important charcters overall, but what he lived through when he saw his mom on that roof finally deserves some thoughts and emotions. Connie was on the margin of the story for way too long, and I'm happy we get to see him talk about how he feels.

Glad he’s doing stuff but he’s 100% going to die

I haven't really liked his development. He's, altho understandably, just an angry dude that can't help himself from getting overcome by his emotions. Not a good look.

I really liked his whole "Eren's crossed the line", now he's making the same mistake. A bitter irony, but does Isayama have time for that?

I'm really disappointed in Connie's "friends" for basically telling him to "chill out, you can't save your mother because we need to make our enemies happy". Hell no to that, I completely sympathize with Connie far more than his "friends" especially since Armin is being the world's biggest hypocrite

It's good because it now opens up the possibility of Connie finally getting his revenge on Zeke

My Boi Connie deserves his own plot-line, so I'm really excited

  TITAN ACTION! BUT OF THE PURE AND AVERAGE VARIETY INSTEAD OF COLOSSALS, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT AS THE FOCUS OF THE CHAPTER? 1,936 Responses

A chapter in the endgame that’s almost reminiscent of the defense of Trost with respect to mindless titan action and defending a base.  Despite many other happenings such as the rumbling going on currently, 46% were totally fine with the focus on mindless titan action and thought it was written well, whereas 35.6% enjoyed it, but wished there was a bit more beyond checking that box.  10.8% wanted a larger focus on the titans in the rumbling, and 5.5% would have preferred a focus shift away from Shiganshina entirely.

I love the fact that shows how prepared and easy fighting mindless titans is for them now. When the titans attacked Trost they were hopeless and Jean was the one frozen in fear. Now we get to see him clear up the titans with ease.

I think showing smaller happenings before the big reveal of Eren's titan and the effects of the rumbling are important buildup.

I would have rather focused on what's happening to Pieck and the others near the wall.

I didn't feel that was the focus, but either way, I liked it.

I wish more would’ve happened outside of it BUT it’s important to show them being dealt with otherwise readers would be like “wait, what about all those people who turned into titans?” So not the best, but necessary.

I'm not crazy about fighting scenes, I prefer the ones where they discuss stuff, but these were really emotional with Shadis and Pixis and everything. Like, it wasn't even so much about fighting itself, for me at least, but about Shadis uniting people again and Armin setting Pixis free finally.

I wish the chapter had explored the idea of Titans appearing now that the Military has begun using weapons which are more effective against humans than Titans. I had thought that the reappearance of Titans would do much more damage since the Military is no longer equipped to handle such threats.

Reminds me of the Trost arc and I love it, but it will probably end up being the last time we see pure titans as this much of a threat.

I love the Season 1-esque fan service. How this series has evolved.

I just wished they didn't have to kill their comrades...C'mon this poll question is so heartless wth?

  AFTER EREN GAINED THE FOUNDER, WHY WHERE THE MINDLESS TITANS STILL ATTACKING THE SOLDIERS? 1,944 Responses

Nearly half of the fandom are giving Eren the benefit of the doubt that he simply cannot control the titans, rather than not caring about them or using them. Although many believe that he’s too focused on other things to concern himself with them, and many others feel certain that mindless titans attacking the soldiers is part of his greater plan.

3 times it was mentioned that Eren/Zeke can't control the Titans, I think someone else is controlling them. Possibly Ymir, maybe we'll see Eren getting betrayed.

Eren can't control the mindless Titans because they're Zeke's Titans

It's highly likely the Founding Titan's power and control over Pure Titans has a collective effect of sorts. That is, it can turn Pure Titans back into humans, but if it did, it would happen to ALL Pure Titans, not just a specific group of them. It's possible that is how the Fritz royalty used the Pure Titans while maintaining the Eldian population during ancient times. Here, if Eren were to use that aspect of the Founding Titan's power, both the Military Branch Officer Titans AND the Wall Titans would be turned back into humans. Right now, Eren is bent on using the Wall Titans to flatten the World, so he most likely does not want to use the power of the Founding Titan to turn all the Pure Titans in Shingashina + Connie's mom into humans; otherwise, the Wall Titans would turn into humans again too, and that would ruin his rumbling plan.

Regarding Eren and the mindless titans, control issues aside, I just don't think he cares.

  WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE TITAN KILL THIS CHAPTER? 1,968 Responses

In a chapter full of titan action, several titan kills stood out as both awesome and tear jerking.  Just over half of respondents, at 51.6%, most remember Armin taking out Pixis after thanking him for his service to the cause.  In a very narrow battle for second place, Keith Shadis sowing the recruits how it’s done won out over Gabi taking a cue from Sasha and saving Kaya.

All of them were pretty darn cool

Gabi's and Mikasa's tie for me

Hard to choose, they're all good

I didn't find any of them memorable if I May be honest

Can I choose all? Because I am.

It's a tie between Shadis arriving to save the recruits, Gabi saving Kayo from the Nile Titan, and Armin killing the Pixis Titan. If I was forced to pick, I'd say Armin's scene because of his sorrowful dialogue upon seeing Pixis as a Pure Titan and the flashback to one of Pixis's earliest highlights when he believed in Armin and Eren shortly after they first met.

Literally all of them what kind of sadistic question is this how could I possibly choose

Loved all the kills!!!

ALL OF THE ABOVE

  THERE WAS A LOT OF DEBATE AS THIS CHAPTER WAS COMING OUT ABOUT GABI, AT THIS POINT DO YOU LIKE HER AS A CHARACTER IN THE STORY? 1,985 Responses

Nearly two-thirds of of the fandom currently enjoy Gabi’s overall character, despite what their first impressions may have been (65.1%) . Though there are still many who have yet to warm up to her, if they ever do (34.9%).

Gabi is beginning to grow on me enough I feel neutral about her.

Gabi is a LITTLE more favorable to me, but I still hate her and I wish she never existed. She can never earn forgiveness for Sasha.

gabi is good you guys are just mean

  WHICH THOUGHT BEST MATCHED HOW YOU CURRENTLY FEEL ABOUT GABI? 1,977 Responses

One of the most controversial characters in the story is of course Gabi Braun, but what do fans truly think of her?  Almost half, at 45.9% don’t profess love for her character from the mountains, but understand why she’s important to the story.  In contrast, 19.6% firmly believe the story would be better off if she never existed, and 17.6% want to see even more of her in the upcoming chapters.  16.9% just think she’s been in the spotlight a little bit too much.

Fuck Gabi, Eren will always be better, not this carbon copy Mary Sue

gabi fucking GANG

Such a great chapter! I’m glad that the Gabi hate is stopping now.

Don't know why are people surprised about Gabi. Her closure with the Braus family is something I figured was gonna happen eventually. Guess Isayama wanted to get that out of the way early.

Of course my opinion of Gabi is unchanged. I still hate her no matter how much "development" she gets.

Gabi is a super uninteresting character to me

i really liked gabi’s character development in this chapter, especially since i was previously a gabi hater.

She is the new MC now. Upgrade.

I see why Gabi exists but she’s just such a forced character. The parallel between her and Sasha was so forced and just felt wrong. Don’t care about her killing Sasha her character is just a forced rehash of eren.

I'm disappointed in her as she is becoming more likeable

Gabi's character development finally completed in a brilliant way

Like Eren, she's fighting for people she cares about, even if she's wrong/vicious with her methods.

I’m tired of Gabi

Really wish we wouldn't have Gabi shoved down our throats, she's not a good character, let alone person

I'm really proud of Gabi and how far she's come from her original POV. I'm really hoping that this influences Eren and I really hope Falco and Gabi get to reunite.

yams wants us to like her more

She has the same motivations as Eren once had, to save the world, basically.

I will admit Gabi has gone through a lot of development. But that doesn't mean I have to like her. I still hate her, and I will NEVER EVER forgive her for what she did to Sasha.

Gabi's haters being mad is so funny. My girl truly shined this chapter, I love her even more.

Gabi.... I feel like I would absolutely hate being around her irl but I guess I do appreciate her as a character in the story.

Never wanted to kill a child so badly in my existence

Death to Gabi Braun!

I don't hate Gabi enough to want her dead, but "too much spotlight" is the understatement of the year, especially when there is still a lot that has yet to be resolved with the main characters

She just wants to protecc

I love Gabi but she gets too much screen time at this point in the story. I want to see Historia and hopefully Eren later.

I LOVE GABI SO MUCH SHE IS THE BEST GIRL

I like Gabster. Gabi Gang Gabi Gang

Me no likey bad bad

  NOW THAT ALL OF THE ORIGINAL BRANCH HEADS ARE GONE, WHO SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF THE PARADIS MILITARY? 1,955 Responses

The head of all of Paradisian government, Darius Zackly, went out with a bang, and now we’ve lost the interim head Pixis, as well as Nile Dok.  Who’s going to pick up the torch?  There’s a big three that seem to have emerged as popular choices, with Jean winning out, Hange coming in second, and Shadis taking up third.  

A combination of several people noted above.

Hanji+SC Armin+Garrison Jean+MP

Anyone but Floch

Jean. He's the only one that can view the Rumbling objectively and not rule it out as bad because their enemies are destroyed

Armin for strategy, Jean for leadership, Hanji for progress

Daz

Shadis should take over, but only untill Jean can get a little more experience leading.

As long as they agree Marley needs to be wiped out for the sake of Paradis, I'm okay with any leader that accepts that responsibility

Definitely not Hange. She wanted to make peace with Marley. Not leadership worthy at all.

Rico ;-;

Hange may be commander, but they are unfit for taking on as the head of the military. Same goes for Keith, though in this chapter he shows courage by stepping up to push the trainees to fight, I doubt he is willing to go back into a similar position as he was before as the Survey Corp's commander. Among the candidates, Armin may seem like a promising candidate, but aside from his proven intellect, just like Hange both do not possess the level of prowess of leading all three branches (four if count the training squad)of the military. More I think about it the "best" candidate in this list may surprisingly be Jean, but so far he hasnt been giving me the impression as someone who can take on such a massive role.

Erwin

  WHY DID FLOCH ARREST THE VOLUNTEERS? 1,903 Responses

The fandom is fairly divided on Floch’s motives, with a three-way split that comes close to being even. The highest amount of respondents feel he is arresting the Volunteers because he doesn’t trust them based on past actions. In the middle, people feel that he doesn’t want to be associated with any non-Eldian people. And in third place, people felt that he doesn’t trust Yelena specifically, and is taking her group down with her.

As far as I've seen, Floch is on Eren's side, not Zeke's. So that would make Yelena, who hasn't heard about her boss and the euthanasia plan, dangerous as fuck. Even with that, Floch's following his own principles. He has different reasons than Eren, but he just needs the "devil" figure to project his own will.

He always knew Yelena and Zeke's intentions because of Eren, and now he's arresting them to prevent more trouble caused by them. I think Eren "trusts" and is working with Flcoh more than the fandom expect.

Because they conspired to sterilize/euthanize the Paradisians.

He's a completely inconsistent character whose personality and character motivations change at the drop of a hat in order to create conflict in the story.

He thinks Yelena can take over his position of the best Yeager fanboy and he can't have that.

He was never really on their side at all! Just like how Eren saw them - they were a means to an end, a useful tool but a dangerous one that could never really be trusted. Now that Eren has made his intentions clear and the ideological split is visible, he's fully turning on them and suppressing them from potentially pursuing their own agendas further.

There’s not enough room on Paradis for both of those eccentric hair cuts

  GABI AND ARMIN BOTH SEEM INTERESTED IN PUTTING ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES: WILL THE SURVEY CORPS AND WARRIORS TEAM UP? 1,928 Responses

After having been warring factions since the beginning, will the warriors and Survey Corps finally team up as one?  62.9% feel a team up will happen, but not everyone from both sides will want to be involved, and a solid 30% believe a full team up is in the cards.  Only 5.8% don’t feel that it’s possible at this point.

Any cooperation will be a compromise, so maybe?

At this point I really don't know. Their passivity disappointed me fully this chapter. They need their TRUE leaders who are MIA at the moment.

I hope it happens but I think Armin is acting under Bert's influence

I hope not, it sounds lame.

i think maybe they will be forced to work together to stop the titans because they are attacking both sides.

It's the ideal scenario I suppose

Only until the Rumbling stops. After that, the SC needs to dispose of all the remaining Warriors to end the war for good.

PLEASE MAYBE REINER WILL GET SOME CLOSURE OUT OF IT

Probably but it’s waaay to cliché. Please don’t Isayama

They'll team up to stop Eren, if that works they'll be enemies once again

Yes and Yes! I've been saying this for months: warriors and SC are going to have to work together. Magath is going to play a role in this too.

  ANNIE!! THOUGHTS: 1,948 Responses

91 chapters.  91 Months.  7 and a half years.  Longer than we were with the characters pre-timeskip.  Annie has been in a crystal, but now she's free!  33.4% think she came back at the perfect time and Isayama has nailed his writing once again.  18.4% are excited for her return, but don’t feel there’s much time left in the story for the wait to be worth it.  15.7% aren’t worshippers at her crystal, and so aren’t too hyped out of their minds.  29% however: A N N I E

akueeoekskfnfjyfjekqwiruuri MY GIRL IS BACK BITCHES, AND I NEED POST-AWAKENING MIKANNIE FANFICTION NOW

glad she's back but the plot has nothing for her to do anymore

How he brought her back makes perfect sense and I love it. If she chose to come out at this time rather than being forced, it would have been awkward and forced to be honest. But Eren taking away all hardening is the best way to bring her back AFTER SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.

glad to have her back but sceptical of her importance

go back into hibernation

Good in-story reason, great writing, but waited far too long. Not sure if she will even be relevent for the remainder of the story that already has a lot of loose ends.

Hentannie

I am not hyped because it took too long and the series has gone too far down a path I can no longer follow.

I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!

I don't know what Annie can do at this point of the story that will make her return worthwhile

I don’t think Isayama and his editors would allow her to be brought back for a poor plot point/reason, so I’m curious to see what role she’ll have.

I wasn't too concerned about Annie at this point in the story but I'm glad that her return makes sense with the events currently taking place and I'm interested to see what Isayama has planned for her.

I'm no fan of her so I'm not excited at all, but I assume she'll drive the plot somewhere soon.

She's got a lot of catching up to do. Concerned it won't be handled well.

The reasoning is sound, and I am glad that Isayama thought that part through, but we have a limited number of pages left, so I am worried about how this will play out.

Took too long so it ended up being very 'meh' for me, but congratulations Annie-stans, have a drink tonight

Should've been way sooner, her potential as a character feels wasted since we're almost done now. All she'll have time to do is get caught up on what happened and then have a couple reunions.

I honestly have no idea what Isayama plans to do with her but I’m just GLAD SHES FINALLY FUCKING BACK!!!! MY BABY GIRL IS BACK!!!!

  ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT ANNIE WILL DO NEXT? 675 Responses

Annie will have a run-in with Hitch, get things explained and head towards the main conflict.

Dare I say it, Assist With Armin’s Talk No Jutsu with Eren

"Run"

Definitely try to get to her dad.

Try to find her warrior friends

Determine her situation and act accordingly

She won't be too surprised at what Eren's become. She remarked how when the "good guys" take power, then it's all over to Marlowe in Season 1.

A girl can dream of her and Pieck being badasses.

All the titan shifters will come together (location-wise), it seem like a flag? Since all the shifter's powers is a part of Ymir herself, having them close might have significant meaning.

ANNIETHING

Be traumatized by manga spoilers? Wonder wtf happened?? Try to find Reiner??

Annie will join Eren.

Not give a shit about anything apart from Papa Leonhardt

Annie will play a huge role in stopping Eren, in some way.

be a badass like usual and FEMALE TITAN ACTION?????

Change her clothes because why is she wet

umm take a shower lol

Character development and teaming up against Ereh

I think Hitch will be the one to find her - she was in charge of guarding the crystal. I think she'll be too weak to fight right now though, so I'm worried that she's just going to be used as a Titan Shifter snack :(

Somehow affect Eren's mindset. Not sure exactly how.

Go kiss Armin pls

I'm hoping for Armin to transform into the Colossal Titan. Annie will see this thinking it's Bertoldt, and then have a good character moment upon finding out that Armin ate him.

Her endgame is to at least partially counteract the rumbling with her scream ability.

Confused --> Shocked --> Mad --> or all at the same time. Anyway, she will probably meet up with Armin and the gang and they will explain the shit situation to her and somehow they will come up with a plan or smth.

I think she’ll be forgotten about for a few chapters then show up in the battle. It’ll be interesting to see what side she takes at that point. I’m sure someone will conveniently fill her in on the last few years.

She's a wild card, but the last we saw her she wanted to get back home. I'm sure she will be invested in saving the world from annihilation.

She is FAR away right now. I think dealing with Annie is a good wind-down after all this World-ending stuff has been dealt with, like when they save the Shire after defeating Sauron

Crystallize

Yeet to Marley and die with her papa.

Annie's first move will be to find a toilet sure she must be dying for a pee like

  HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

Shadis, Jean and Gabi are the big winners in the opinion poll this month with the majority selecting “More Favorable” reaction to them. Shadis had 1379 respondents selecting “more favorable”, Jean had 1076 and Gabi came in third with 980. Fighting titans so soon after surviving a bear attack is impressive, so I’m not surprised with these results. At the other end of the spectrum, Connie (542) and Floch (496) had the most number of “Less Favorable” selections. While the good outweighed the bad, Gabi again proved to be polarizing with 432 people choosing “Less Favorable” despite her positive development this month.

  FAVORITE NEW TITAN DESIGN? 1,926 Responses

Isayama’s nods to his television viewing habits continue with the appearance of the “Better Call Saul” titan. Our appreciation of Isayama’s sense of humor continues with more than 50% of us selecting it as “Favorite New Titan Design” (51.5%). Pixis was a distance second with close to a quarter choosing his titan form (23.7%) as their favorite.

Still laughing over the Saul Titan. Good ol' slippin' Jimmy

the Better call Saul titan looks more like Bolsonaro (Brazil's president)

one last hurrah to the Pure Titan mayhem the series was originally known for, and witnessing the tragic end to Nile and Pixis

  WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,926 Responses

The three elements of the story which have been absent for months, or even years, take the top overall votes for what the fandom would like to see next. 33.6% are dying to see present-day Levi and Hange again. 24.1% are still eager to get Historia’s perspective. 23.6% are still hoping to one day see Eren’s inner thoughts.

All I want for Christmas....Is Historias POV

I'm missing Connies adventure on the 'What are you hoping to see next chapter?' question.

Bitch give me Levi. It’s been more than half a year.

I literally only care about the 104th characters so the more of them we can see next chapter the better

Give me more Eren action pleaseee

So why is Annie pov not an option for next chapter?

I have waited for 7 years, finally, Annie is back. I wanna see more of her story and  character development. I cant wait to see her conversation with Hitch and Armin!

Please Isayama give me more good Shadis content

I really want to see Eren's full complete titan. Issayama, stop blueballing us please!

I would actually like to know more about that spine creature that is evidently the source of Titans.

Is there a Kiyomi option?

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,843 Responses

With close to 200,000 members it’s no surprise that Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field (47.7%), followed distantly by Tumblr (15.5%), Real Life (9.8%) and Discord (6.7%). Amazingly, 9% don’t discuss it at all. This month, FIVE of you said Snapchat, up from four last month, so while there’s still technically a possibility that you guys are actually forming some weird snapchat cult and this isn’t an elaborate psyop, I’m still not convinced. But regardless of where you discuss the series, or if you even do, we truly appreciate your participation in the chapter poll!

  ADDITIONAL COMMENTS? 416 Responses

OMG! Okay, it's happening! Everybody stay calm! Annie! Annie! Annie!

Annie got crystalized in chapter 33, and now she's out, 91 chapters later. Since 12 chapters are published in a year, we have been waiting for her (not including flasbacks and her just chilling in the crystal) 7 years and 7 months. I salute all the diehard Annie fans, you had a long wait.

Once again I have marked my calendar. May 9, 2012 - December 5, 2019. After 7 excruciating years our queen is FINALLY awake. This deserves a new record for longest amount of time a character has been comatose in real life. Thank GOD it's finally over I still can't believe it.

I'm a big fan of all of the smaller storylines coming together, hoping for everything to be wrapped up nicely and characters from different factions (i.e Hange, Annie, Historia) all coming together to address the rumbling.

It felt a little like a breather chapter, despite all the action. It was nice to slow down and get some character development for everyone.

“Everyone has a devil in them” is a great message. Hope they all team up and stop Eren. Very curious about what Annie will do!

The parallels to Trost arc were nice, but I felt like the endgame was finally amping up only to be put on hold.

Great chapter! I like Pathland, and the flashback with Levi and Hanji was great, but it was a relief to get some current time action. Gabi is best girl, Armin just went up by leaps and bounds in my book, and Annie is back!! So excited for the next chapter…

Great one ! The fear from the mindless titans in back, like in Trost. Many side characters development/deaths (Nile, Pixis, Shadis, Kaya, Nicolo, Gabi, Annie, Connie, Jean...). So much good stuff, I almost forgot about the rumbling going on !!

Amazing. If Isayama maintains this quality til the end, then this will be one of my favorite series, of any media, ever.

I'm wondering what Annie can realistically do at this point. Sure she beat Eren before but now he's in another level.

Guess we don't have to deal with the genocidal jock for a while

REINER HELOS BRAUN WILL SAVE THE WORLD (after his power nap)

ANNNIIEEEEE; Shadis' comeback was wonderful. I hope he can make up for the loss of Pixis and Erwin and such. He has great potential and he's a well developed character. Jean is asking the real questions, but the showdown between him and Floch is about to go down.

I said previously that if Floch survives I wanted my money back. But you know what? I'll take my refund in Annie store credit. Thanks for that bright spot, Isayama!  Also: this chapter pointed out how many good people in the world will suffer if Eren succeeds. And I felt as frustrated with the remnants of the 104th as Gabi. Nicolo and Shadis became my unexpected heroes this chapter.

Is Zeke still alive? Is he still controlling the mindless titans?

Floch didn’t do anything particularly bad this chapter but every time I have to see his face my opinion of him becomes less favorable. When Jean said “so you lived...” I FELT that disappointment lol.

I love the Braun siblings interaction in this chap. And Nicole's "we'll try to get out of the forest" sends chills. I think that's one of the point ISTM is trying to get across.

Does Connie realise that if his mother was given one of the nine titan powers she would be made to fight? Getting one of the titan powers is very much a curse not a blessing (especially with the Jaw titan)

At this point the Eren/Gabi parallels are feeling a little overdone and forced.

If Gabi receives Eren’s Titan it will be the stupidest most disappointing thing to happen in this- no all of manga! Besides, what is the damn point of her “paralleling” Eren anyways? But the Sasha paralleling was even more gnarly YUCK!

It's true that the people of Paradis will benefit from this shit, but I highly disagree with any justification when it comes to Eren's horrible actions. GENOCIDE IS NEVER THE OPTION. I think Jean is disappointed too but he's trying his best to rationalize the crap Eren's carrying out for he still doesn't want to believe his friend is committing genocide. I expect he comes back to his senses soon otherwise I no longer will appreciate him as a character.

That "who are you most disappointed" will sadly be filled with Armin hate tbh. And in the end he was just wanting to avoid unnecessary conflict... tbh Anyone hating on Connie, Gabi and Armin doesn't seems to know how humans emotion work in helpless situations...

What Yams is doing to Connie is further proof he is ruining his main characters (the good ones) to make room for his precious Marley characters (the crappy ones)

Connie's regression and frustration was more and more visible since Sasha died. He's lost everyone close to him. I am happy to see him finally snap at Armin and go his own way. This was foreshadowed for a while now.

I hope Isayama sensei doesn't forget to include World Millitary's raid in the action. They already mention in some previous chapter by Zeke.

Quantity-wise, the chapter wasn't centered around Gabi, okay. But. BUT. Gabi got quite a few powerful scenes, very Gabi-centric scenes, and I'm not happy about that. I don't see how and why the fandom so easily forgave her for what she's done. Isayama drawing parallels between Gabi and Sasha was insulting and distasteful.

It is highly likely that this is the last time we are going to see Pure Titan mayhem in the series now that the Rumbling is taking place, so I think it was great to that focus in this chapter. I thought it was handled well, especially with Shadis's scenes, the parallel of the new recruits seeing the Pure Titans peaking through the hole of the fortress tower much like a similar scene in the Trost arc, the tragedy of seeing Pixis and Nile (two of the last remaining head honchos of the military not counting Hange and Shadis) as Pure Titans and getting killed off for good, and how characters like Armin and Jean fought those Pure Titans.  

WARMASTER FLOCKE, TO LEAD THE ARMIES OF ELDIA TO VICTORY! Haha no I guess not. I'm torn between Flocke, Jean, Eren, and Shadis. All could be good picks but all outcomes would have different implications on the story and what it means. I guess if I had to pick, it'll be Shadis or Eren for now and then perhaps Jean later when things have settled and they've grown up more.

I honestly can't keep up with how many faces Floch has.

With how the pacing is handled there's no way this is ending in 6 chapters. The real climax is Eren having to go against his friends because there's no way in hell Mikasa is allowing him to genocide kids

As heartbreaking as this chapter has been, I already had my hopes destroyed when 119 was released. Today has been the confirmation for two awesome characters, who fell because of the non-veteran rule. I don't know why I still hope to see Keith staying alive, but at least we got an awesome moment of his.

Characters are being balanced relatively well. Isayama's got a lot of characters and plot threads to deal with, and while Levi, Hange and Historia are getting less focus than I would like, I think he's doing a pretty good job of keeping each character relevant and giving them all some good arcs/ moments

Everything (except for Gabi scenes) was perfect for me!

Eww Gabi-focused chapter…

I simply hate how cowardy the 104th is acting. It's clear they're only fighting in their own interest and are just pulling excuses after excuses for supporting Eren. At least Floch is honest about it.

Man, the 104th always been the group I care the less in the story, but this chapter they're being so annoying (apart from Mikasa). Well, I can forgive Connie because of everything he went through, but Jean... why are you saying this ""there was no other choice, eren is protecting us"" bs ? Nice of you to be complicit of mass genocide. (Yes, I know his face shows he's conflicted, but he still sides with eren) Also Armin... at least he's horrified at what's Eren's doing but when he said that if they don't kill Falco there would be no conflict with the warriors since Marley will be gone....that's just dumb. Their home and families are going to be destroyed, but ok Armin, go off. And getting into another serumbowl situation, with one of my fave uncounscious while the SC decides who will eat him... I don't like it. (I don't think Falco will be eaten tho, the whole thing raised many death flags on Connie)

Great chap, Isayama seems to finally give closure to certain plot parts. End is near.

Here's a crazy idea: feed GABI to Connie's mom instead of Falco, there would be nowhere near as much arguing with that

Highlights that people can rise above their conditions to become better people, offering a counterargument that humanity should be wiped out.

I don't get why the story pacing was disrupted so much. Why build up to a climatic cliffhanger with the rumbling, only to basically ignore it for the entire following chapter?

I honestly wonder if titan shifting still works as it used to. I'm afraid of seeing Falco get eaten for nothing. Honestly I'm worried about Falco dying for nothing while people right over him as a pawn in general.

Quite interesting chapter. Had fun with it. Much, much slower paced than expected almost. But then again we need time to cover all this stuff. And I'm happy it all took place in the current rather than another flashback. Not really a fan of the Gabi stuff but it is what it is. The other character developments were quite nice. Reiner literally just falling asleep tho lol. Overall I guess I wouldn't say it's a "big" chapter but it is necessary to bridge what came before with whatever comes next. And at long last Annie is back, so that's GLORIOUS.

I hope Annie will have such a big role she gets repaid for the all years she's been gone😞

I hope Isayama uses the slowdown in the pace to better sell the scale of the rumbling, we already see part of that by hoe Eren's dino titan still isnt complete, even after all this time

I love how the story is progressing.The next chapter is always something I personally don't expect and it's always exciting. The hype at the beginning/end of the month is unreal. As for the chapter itself, it's always refreshing to see Jean's perspective on Eren's plans because I love his interpretations on him. #TEAMJAEGER

i love my waifu annie i missed her so much

I love you Connie and I'm sure your mom is nice and all but Falco is a precious bean who needs to be protected.

I really hated the Gabi-Sasha and Gabi-Eren parallels. I also still think Gabi was never needed in this story, in fact I don’t know how I’ll be able to stomach season 4. Ugh, the first half will be completely and utterly Gabified. Gabi in color and motion plus speaking, YUCK!  Anyways I hope that the next chapter will have an update on Hange, Levi, and Historia. And maybe Floch getting punched by Shadis that would be the Cherry on top.

It was an average chapter, not bad but nowhere near as good as the previous ones. Plus I'd appreciate if other characters, outside of Gabi, had more spotlight. Her arc and development is done, give more development and screentime to other characters such as Mikasa please.

Just being disappointed. The pacing is very slow. Also the main cast's reactions were too passive. I hated it.

Just great. Just great. The drawings were incredible and the plot just keeps getting better.

Less Gabi, more Historia!

Levi and Hange better return in some way, shape, or form, or Yam's is in for it.

Levi is the new Annie

Love getting to see thoughts from many different characters and where they stand. A lot of them are still left behind trying to rationalise things to make it emotionally palatable, or simply stuck not being able to accept the reality, whereas Gabi has kind of gone ahead and realised there's evil on both sides, and she's willing to kill Eren or work with him if she can best protect the people she cares about (eventually probably not just her friends and family either, but the outside Eldians as a whole).

My baby is back!!!!!!!! I wanna see more of ANNIE!!!!!!

Nicolo talking to Kaya and Gabi was cringey af. Did they really do back to that derpy forest analogy? If this series ends with them holding hands and singing around a campfire imma legit be so disappointed. I need me my Rumbling!

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride. It was a mess of short catching-up moments when I just want to pick Eren's brain. I want to see Levi and Hange alive or hear what Annie and Historia think about the events, but at the moment I don't care about even those storylines. I just want to know what the relationship between Ymir and Eren is now that the walls came down.

The first panel being Mr. Leonhart was a pretty strong indicator to me that Annie would be released in the last panel, and it was. I felt that to be extremly poetic, and the timing is good too. Another wildcard in the plot. Excellent.

Compared to the previous chapter, this one turned out to be very disappointing. I was excited to see the rumbling and getting a glimpse of Eren’s thoughts and feelings. But instead I got Reiner going to sleep, Gabi being paralleled to Eren (again) and Sasha, the 104th busy arguing over what to do with Falco instead of, you know, focusing on THE RUMBLING

Good chapter, but if S4 is the final season and airs Autumn 2020, and with a monthly release, curious as to how isayama might tie up these "last minute" plot threads such as the new developments with Connie and Falco.

What else can I say except it's amazing and it was worth the wait

Where is Levi damnit

[at1nys-blog]

We are just the same

A/N: This is just for me so I don't care if you guys like this or no. I just had this in mind while I was coming back home from a little trip in Milan.

If you don't have something niece to say please don't leave comments. If you like this to be a xreader insert maybe I can write again with Y/N instead of Loena.

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Loena; Ateez x Loena

Summary: After a trip to Dengu, Hongjoong gives Loena the silent treatment because of a misunderstanding. Jongho can't see you two like that, so he talks with Loena.

Cunted Words: 1185

If he didn't want talk with me why I had to talk to him to explain my point of view? It was just a waste of time, really.

Since I told him the song was good he started to gave me the silent treatment and I, on my side, after some shots to make him understand I gave up.

"THE WINDOW IS MINE" shouted Wooyoung making me laugh.

"I want to sit near Loena" said Mingi hugging me from behind.

"Mingi please..." he understood and took off his hands of me, making me fell so much more comfortable.

"Sorry, I always forget." He said and I told him it was fine. Jongho on the other hand scolded him for making me fell uncomfortable.

"Jongho is your hyung. He should scold you, no the other way round." I said.

As my job is to make sure I have all of them with me I started counting them and I started to panick when I didn't saw Hongjoong with the others.

"Guys have you seen Hong-Oppa?" The word escaped my lips without my knowledge and Seonghwa, the one that I never call oppa outside work time, looked at me hurt but before he was able to say something, Hongjoong raised his hand and said where he was.

No one dared to speak a word, well no one expect for Wooyoung, Yunho and Mingi, they three can't shut up even if you promise them their deepest desire, so I decided to try and have some sleep.

I didn't noticed how tired I was until I closed my eyes and fell asleep in one second. The last think I remember hearing was Jongho saying how Hongjoong and I are the same.

"We are not" I said before collapsing into sleep.

Time skip: 1h e 30 mins later

As Always Mingi screaming had to wake me up for my beautiful sleep (yes I treasure my sleep is something wrong with that? Don't judge me)

"Is it too difficult to NOT scream once in a while?" I said scratching my body and facing the tall baby. He looked at me with those heart melting puppy eyes and I only scoffed at how cute he was.

"Today I'm just upsetting you." He said sad. Oh my God noooo. I made a huge effort to hug him and I made sure he knew he didn't. He found his energy right after my hug and with it his beautiful smile.

"You have such a weird impact on us." Jongho voice brought me back to reality and I asked him what he meant.

"I mean, Seonghwa loves himself more. You helped him a lot." I smiled knowing how much of a hard path loving himself was for the older one

"Hongjoong is less grumpy when we hug him" he added making me realise it was true actually. The leader didn't love skinship so much but lately it was trying to not kill his members evrytime they hug him.

"Yunho started reading because of that stupid challenge. He is stoling your books some times."

"JONGHO IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET." You laughed your lungs out when the tall boy screamed at the maknae, hitting him on his arm.

Jongho told you how everyone changed because of you and after that he told you how you and his leader are the same person but in two different bodies.

"I'm nothing like him. He is a child. Who will give you the silent treatment just because you didn't hyped them about A SONG?" I said exposing the weird situation between me and him.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU HYPED HIM. YOU LOVE HIS SONGS." First I asked him to not scream and second I reveled him how the song made me sad.

"I mean it talks about a beautiful love story and..." i stop talking making sure to not say too much about my private life.

"...and I never had a good experience with love." Actually I never experienced love, that is real reason behind my sadness.

The song was really good and if it wasn't for the fact that made me sad I was going to speak about it no stop. The beat is so magnificent even tho is a ballad it has an energetic vibe; the lyrics is so perfect reminding me of Star1117; and Hongjoong vocals are the most beautiful thing I ever heard. But once again, the sadness that took me let me with no energy at all and with nothing to say.

"But why didn't you told him? He could have been understanding. He always is with you and so are you." Everyone stopped talking and yes this time even Wooyoung, Yunho and Mingi.

"Loena you two are just the same" started Seonghwa and I gave him a death glance.

"He is right. You two take care of as always" added San.

"San is my job taking care of you eight and he takes care of you because is your leader"

"You two hate skinship but try your best with us to not get mad about it." This time was Mingi turn to speak.

"I don't..." everyone looked at me as if they were saying are you kidding?

"Ok maybe I do but..." in stopped knowing there was no buts to help me getting out of this story and they were right. Me and Hongjoong are just the same.

"Maybe we share something. But I don't think we are the same" lie.

"For example..." i tried so hard to find something we are different but I truly couldn't find anything. All of them are right and I hate it when is like that.

"Ah I got it. I don't like when you all are right but he..."

"No I hate it too Loena. I'm sorry think again. Harder this time." he said making me roll my eyes. Maybe our looks? He is so cute while I'm not. Maybe are our feelings or the fact that he is famous and I'm not? But those are not strong reasons to assert my thesis.

"I can't think of anything." That was true it was impossible for me to find a single thing we are different in so the only thing I said was that I didn't want to talk about this topic anymore and went to sleep again.

Time skip

This time Hongjoong voice is what woke me up. I recognised the song almost immediately and I wanted to took off the earphone but the guy asked me to keep listening. I could fell my eyes watering and my heart racing as fast as possible trying to escape his cage.

"Hongjoong please..." I stopped talking once the song was over and another music file started to play.

"You are oblivious Loena, so here I am telling you that this song is for you." Said the voice in my ear and I smiled at how stupid we were. Because is true I was oblivious about his feelings for me but he was the same.

"We really are just the same" I said taking his hand in mine.

☆~~~☆

If you want you can reblog this too if you like it since I'm here to share my ideas with all of you. As I already said if you like the prompt and you want another member you can ask me to rewrite that.