#i guessed which one is hatter and which is hare based on the order of their bodies and the order of their names

[goddessficlover]

Alice In Gotham Pt 3

“Oh, it's such a lovely party tonight, Alice,” Hatter was overjoyed, gently dancing with Alice. Only twirling Danny gently, not to hurt him, treating him like a fragile flower. They had a small tea party, Hatter and his 2 Alice's. Now they were dancing the evening away, “Did you eat enough?”

“No, this body required more sustenance than the average human,” Danny’s soulless voice responded.

“Oh dear, then you must stop this dance and eat until your stomach is satisfied,” Hatter stopped the dance and March Hare returned with a fresh tray of small sandwiches, cut fruits, pastries, and other tea party foods. Alice began to eat slowly. Hatter was determined to keep his Alice alive and healthy for as long as possible, “Very good. When you finish your meal, go to bed. You need rest to recover. I still have two more people for you to invite. They will be guests of honor to celebrating you joining me.”

  Alice nodded and continued to eat silently. Hatter had began sending out his goons distract the Bats from his base. Nothing specific other than drawing their attention. Hatter had a larger table to invite their next guests tomorrow night. He needed more than one decoy Alice, lest Batman steal his porcelain doll.

—

“Bad news,” Oracle spoke up as the plan was starting to move into action, “Girls are starting to be kidnapped for their blue eyes. Good news, we have a lead on Mad Hatter's hideout since it's his goons taking them instead of Scraps. Which means he wasn’t in the botanical gardens so that trap is likely still there.”

  The sound of Red Hood cracking his neck and knuckles echoed in the wind and he geared up in one of his safe houses where he brought Scraps stuff. The fact that Scraps was no longer being spotted was more than worrying now that they knew what the kid's vitals looked like.

“Send me the coordinates,” Red Hood pulled on his helmet and left the safe house on his motorcycle. He had a set of buck teeth to punch out of a perverted redhead.

“Sending them now,” Oracle was heard aggressively typing on her keyboard, “How does the facial scan keep failing? I can't get anything on the kid. It's like they don't exist outside of 2 and half months ago. I still can't track their path home, they just disappear with their abilities.”

“That's the problem I've been having with Scraps. When we free ‘em from Hatter Imma set them up somewhere safe. Other kids said they have an accent and are weirdly nice. My guess it, they aren't from Gotham. We might be able to get ‘em home if they were stuck here for some reason,” Hood answered.

“Sounds like Mad Hatter erased that accent for now. Poor kid talks like a robot from the recordings we have,” Nightwing responded.

“Coordinates have been sent. Looks like a standard rescue mission for now,” Oracle spoke up again, “Robin, Spoiler, and Nightwing are clear for distraction. Orphan, Red Hood, and Red Robin will focus on rescue. Get Scraps and the other girls out of there.”

“We will,” Hood rode off into the night, following the location Oracle had sent him with less than legal driving.

“Tsk,” Robin responded, moving towards the coordinates. Unsatisfied in his role as distraction but  following orders regardless.

“There's a disruption nearby. Mad Hatter's goons are going wild,” Oracle spoke up, “It only just started and there aren't many.”

“Signal and I will manage the disruption,” Batman quickly readjusted the plan, “Everyone else, stay with the original plan.”

  Men in white rabbit hats were running around causing chaos as the members came closer. Nothing specific, or uniform. Some broke windows for the sake of breaking them. Others chased people, some stole, others shot their guns at random. They were being mind controlled but given no clear instructions. Some were putting masks over random civilians to increase their numbers. Others forcing bows onto women who began walking towards the same building. A hotel on the smaller side, all of the windows had been covered up. Following as planned: Spoiler and Nightwing made their entrance into the hotel known.

“Hello~ any rooms available tonight? I need a place to dream off to wonderland,” Nightwing burst in and sure enough, the entire hotel was filled with employees who all had tophats.

“That was terrible,” Spoiler commented as she quickly started taking hats off employees, freeing them and directing them to a space in the lobby to wait for police and medical.

“Yeah, not my best,” Nightwing responded as Robin moved past the lobby. 

Orphan, Red Hood, and Red Robin snuck in through the rooms on the top floor. Girls were asleep in the beds, but it was an unnatural sleep. They quickly removed the clips from their hair, destroyed the clips, and moved on, checking room after room. Only 8 rooms with 1-3 girls in each and 3 floors. Almost 40 women and girls were hostages, excluding the staff which were also being freed.

Outside, Signal was using the shadows as tangible tendrils to pull the masks and hats off hostages. Something wasn't right, it was too easy. Mad Hatter wasn't known to team up with other rogues often, but it was still a possibility.

“You are interrupting,” a familiar monotone voice appeared behind Signal. He turned to find Scraps, standing behind him.

“We can't let Hatter kidnap people and force them to do his bidding. How about you let me free you,” Signal tried again to grab the wig only for the shadow to be grabbed, frozen in a layer of ice and, shattered with only one hand, “Okay, didn't know you could do that.”

“Scraps is outside and engaging with Signal,” Oracle announced to the others.

“The tea party is tomorrow, please wait until then,” Scraps’ aura flared and began gathering in their chest and hands. Eyes completely ice blue and glowing, “You will only get one warning.”

“Sorry, but we have to crash the party. You need a hospital like yesterday,” Signal turned his vitals scanner on to check. Scraps’ vitals hadn't gotten better, but they weren't lower so they still had time. But their temperature was dropping even lower.

It took only a second but Signal was a distraction as Batman approached from behind with a meta suppression collar. Before he could put it around Danny's neck, he received a swift kick to his arm sending the collar flying and Batman back onto the asphalt.

“Scraps is getting aggressive,” Signal blocked, but was still sent back when a punch was aimed his way, “Add enhanced strength to the list.”

“Why the hell does this kid have so many powers?” Nightwing responded.

“Ice manipulation, floating, invisibility, density shifting, and enhanced strength? We need to keep this kid on our side,” Red Robin commented as he hacked into all the security cameras of the hotel, “Eyes on Hatter, he's in the basement.”

“Dibs!” Red Hood began racing Orphan down to the basement, leaving Red Robin and the distraction team to deal with the hostages' release to the police. Most were still in their civilian clothes, it was a good sign, they had acted early into Hatter's plan.

Outside, Batman's cape was frozen to the street, the collar which had been discarded was picked up by Alice and examined. It was only for a second, but their normally blue eyes flashed green. The collar was snapped in half at the hinge and frozen into a block of ice before it was tossed aside. Vibrant blue eyes turned to Batman who had unclasped his cape to continue the fight. Spears of ice were fired his way, each one missed would either penetrate the ground or dissolve before hitting a civilian. One lucky shot struck Batman's side as a civilian prevented him from fully dodging.

“So, that meta collar just pissed off Scraps,” Signal announced, noticing the kid had just gotten way more aggressive than they were before. Still, not once did they hit another civilian. They had such control over their power to only target Signal and Batman. They somehow managed to keep surrounding destruction from their ice attacks to a minimum.

“They've clearly had experience fighting,” Batman didn't even need to bandage the wound. There was a layer of frost keeping him from bleeding out, “Not a single casualty has been caused by Scraps.”

“That's odd. Hatter has never cared about casualties unless it involved a particularly favorable hostage. This could mean the mind control isn't as complete as we thought. Tetch is known for killing his Alices’ yet he's kept Scraps much longer than usual, probably because of their meta abilities,” Oracle reviewed the information they had gathered, “Batman you were hit by a spear and that section of your suit reads its colder.”

“Hm. They covered the wound with frost at the moment of impact. Not as cold as other ice samples Red Robin has observed but enough to keep the pain and bleeding at bay. They don't want to hurt us, even if Hatter is forcing them to attack,” Batman responded, “Your theory seems accurate Oracle, Mad Hatter doesn't have full control over them.”

Signal was off catching the last of the mind controlled civilians outside while Batman continued to try and catch Scraps. He wasn't slowed down much with his injury thanks to the frost. It was when they had backed up, closer to the hotel that the fight became more challenging. Signal rejoined the fight to weaken Alice in order to get the wig off them. Scraps startled by a mist of blue escaping their lips before looking around, then down. It was faint in his mind controlled state but Danny felt it. Rage- protect- children in danger- protect- angry! It stirred a part of him as his core wanted to respond to the undead it felt nearby.

  Using the distraction Signal caught Scraps in his shadows, Batman attempted to cuff Scraps only to find the kid had slipped out of their grasp again and gotten behind him and struck hard enough to knock Batman unconscious. Though it would only be temporary.

“Enough,” Scraps encased Duke’s arms in frost and grabbed the same cuffs Batman was attempting to put on them before. With Duke handcuffed, the fight was over. Grabbing both vigilantes by their suits, Scraps dragged them both back into the hotel before sinking them into the basement where they were met with another battle. One Mad Hatter was losing, and becoming desperate. The last of his goons and about 5 other Alice hostages were in the fight. Hatter had a busted lip and his buck teeth were now one broken tooth and a gap, courtesy of Red Hood.

  No one noticed their sudden appearance in a secluded area. Nightwing lead the freed hostages out towards the main floor. Red Hood and Robin were focused on disarming the goons. Spoiler and Red Robin focused on the hostages. Where was Orphan?

“Remain quiet and I won't have to tape your mouth shut,” Scraps whispered, too low for Duke’s active com to pick up. 

  Signal nodded, he needed to focus on picking the lock on the cuffs and freeing himself from the ice. He would only distract the others if he called out now. He observed instead. Scraps didn't behave like a mindless zombie anymore. Not to mention their aura was starting to flicker brighter than before. It had happened so suddenly outside. That blue mist caused their entire aura to flare bright enough to temporarily blind him. Signal’s eyes were still recovering, but he could tell it was flickering. Something was going on, and their behavior was changing. Scraps reached… into their chest?! -And pulled out a metal tool box with a green cross on it. It read first-aid underneath. They opened it and pulled out latex gloves after removing the ones they were wearing before. There were some odd silver bracelets with a green stripe on each wrist below the white gloves. Where they a part of the mind control tech? Did those need tk be removed? Scraps sterilized their hands, a needle, and Batman’s wound after removing the frost. It was slow to bleed, the frost had been helping it clot and prevented swelling.

“What are you doing?” Signal asked quietly, observing as Scraps thread the needle and began stitching Batman’s wound without any form of anesthetic.

“Batman requires first aid. I am providing it,” they answered, already half way done. Their stitches were neat, and the wound was hardly bleeding. Not to mention they worked almost as fast as Alfred! Batman wasn't responding to the feeling. The cold must have completely numbed the area or he was out colder than Signal thought he was.

“Why?” Signal began an interrogation as quietly as he could with the fighting on the other side. Still, they spoke loud enough that his com was picking it up.

“I know how. And I had supplies,” Scraps was answering questions. That wasn't something they'd ever done before. The control was slipping.

“Why do you know how?” Duke knew Scraps was too young to have ever studied medicine. They only looked 13 at the oldest, but they also looked malnourished. These stitches were done perfectly, something from lots of practice.

“I have to.”

“Scraps,” he was free from the hand cuffs and caught a glimpse of movement in the shadows, “Why do you have to know?”

“...” They stopped responding and simply packed away the first aid supplies after wiping the blood off their gloves on the apron and setting the bloodied gloves into a pocket. Now that he caught a glimpse inside, there were way too many glowing materials and tools in that first aid kit. Scraps shoved the kit back into their chest and stood.

“Noo!” Mad Hatter shouted, “You're ruining everything!”

“You're mind controlling innocent civilians for your own enjoyment. As if we would agree to allow that to continue,” Robin snarled as  he captured Hatter and cuffed him.

“No, where is she? Where is she? Alice!” Hatter called, Scraps followed the shout quickly, leaving Signal and Batman behind. Hatter gave a nasty grin as his perfect Alice approached with red blood on her apron. That put everyone on edge except Hatter, “Alice, stop them! They'll destroy our tea party. We need them alive to celebrate.”

“Leave the civilians out of this,” Robin growled as he secured Hatter in favor of rejoining the fight.

 Duke was the only one to notice the snowball appear in Danny’s hand. It had an eerie green light inside it. He was still stuck in ice but he could look a few seconds into the future. He was struck with a migraine as a bright light burst into view. 

  The snowball was tossed in the air, it drew everyone's attention. An innocent snowball tossed up carelessly. The snow sparkling in the basement lights as it reached the center of the room.

“GET DOWN!” is shouted just as a green light bursts through the snow and shards of ice scattered across the entire room. The shards shattered on impact, only leaving a small scratch, the problem was the frost growing from each hit. It left a 5in area on the body or surface stiff and immobile. The frost covering the hostages quickly melted as the explosion came to an end. They were completely unharmed. Hatter, oddly, wasn't untouched like the hostages. Hatter’s legs were frozen and stuck to the gound, he'd been hit with the most frost out of everyone.

“Was that a fucking ice grenade?!” Red Hood was both amazed at that and also hated that he was on the other end of it.

  Ice was coating the floor in patches. The inconsistent surface would make fighting more difficult. Duke and Batman were covered in snow instead of frost. The automatic heaters regulating their temperature noticed the cold and turned on. Duke was having no luck escaping the ice, even in his shadows.

“Signal, report,” Red Robin ordered as he noticed Signal and Batman had been captured.

“Scraps got fed up in the fight and took Batman in a single blow. Then provided him with first aid. Something drew their attention in the fight. A blue mist came out of their mouth and it caused their aura to flare. It started glitching after that. I think the mind control device is starting to fail. They'll answer some questions but not all of them. Scraps is becoming more independent. You might be able to talk them down at some point,” Signal reported, still focusing on getting out of the ice. The repeated flashes from looking at Scraps was giving him an unbearable migraine. He couldn't help much like this, so he's guarding B instead.

“I hope that wig is malfunctioning. This has been one of the most annoying cases with Hatter because of Scraps’ powers,” Red Robin sighed, “I'm going to try remotely hacking into the device. You guys keep Scraps from disrupting me and try and get either a collar or cuff on them to try and grab the wig anyway.”

“If we can even get fucking close,” Red Hood growled through his modulator, something about the pit felt weird. It was making him angry, but when kids were being taken hostages any one of the Bats would be angry. What was weird was the pit was also yelling at him to keep Scraps close, they were needing protection. They were a baby- Why a baby? They're at least like 13? Why do they feel baby?

  It happened again. As Red Hood approached while the others continued to deal with the hostages. Alice hadn't really moved after the snowball grenade. A blue mist escaped their lips and they turned to see Red Hood, who's eyes were green but not hostile. Scraps tilted their head, it was less subtle than it was before.

“Undead?” That caught everyone's attention, Scraps had just called out Red Hood's undead status.

“How do you know that?” Red Hood growled again, noticing the green in his vision.

“Littlewing,” Nightwing jumped between them, “Deep breaths, you're looking kinda green. We don't know anything about Scraps, we don't know specifically what that means for them.”

“I know that,” Hood snapped, backing up from Scraps a bit and taking some breaths to calm down.

“Hey now, how about we get that wig off of you, Scraps? Blonde is not really for you,” Nightwing reached out but didn't step closer.

“Alice what are you doing, fight the-mph!” Orphan had gagged Hatter and gave a thumbs up to Red Hood and Nightwing.

“Understood,” Scraps took an offensive pose. Their eyes kept glancing towards the escrima sticks on Nightwing’s back. Their scarred left hand trembled slightly. It was then that Red Hood, Orphan, and Robin felt a sensation of awake?- Where?- scared! 

“Empath?” Orphan called out, missing the wig as Scraps turned intangible.

“Feels like it,” Red Hood responded.

“I don't feel whatever you guys are feeling,” Nightwing dodged a punch and tried grabbing Scraps only for them to dodge again, “The density shifting is a real pain-Agh!”

 Scraps knocked back Nightwing and Red Hood into creates nearby. A sheet of ice suddenly appearing on Hood's back kept them from being seriously hurt. It disappeared just as quickly. Robin was next to go after Scraps. They exchange blows, dodging each other mostly. It was then that Robin decided using his sword may be the best choice when Scraps started using small arrows of ice against him and other Bats within range. The ice only left small cuts in their armor but it continued to spread frost on contact. Watching as Robin deflected arrows with his sword, Scraps took a different stance. A sword of ice appearing in their right hand, and a smaller shield in their left.

“No fucking way,” Red Hood would recognize that fighting stance of his favorite Justice League Member anywhere.

“Finally, someone who can go against my blade,” Robin smirked and their swords wasted no time colliding.

“Are we seriously fighting a meta Amazonian right now?!” Nightwing groaned, pushing broken wood of the crates off him and Red Hood, “Great, we're fighting someone with no convenient weakness.”

“Okay well we're not doing Batman's contingency plan for Wonder Woman, that would kill Scraps,” Oracle spoke up through coms, “We do have the possibility that she has a weakness to electricity if her reaction to Nightwing's weapons are anything to go off of.”

“I don't want to electrocute a kid,” Nightwing groaned as he got up with a wince. His ribs were bruised but not unbearable. Red Hood was in similar shape.

“Robin might be able to tire them out- Oracle did you switch to she/her for Scraps?” Red Hood watched as the sword fight continued and the last of the hostages were just about free.

They were sword fighting while Alice not only dodged Orphan’s grabs at them but also stray bullets being shot around the room. The fact that Alice was mostly unharmed aside from some tears in the dress’s frilly skirt only displayed what a good battle sense they had.

“I was thinking more she/they. Only women live on Themyscira and can learn the fighting style. Men are strictly forbidden. But it's weird, Wonder Woman said there are no children on Themyscira. So someone had to have trained Scraps outside of Themyscira or brought them in. It looks like she's been learning the fighting style for a long time If they're keeping up with Robin.”

“Red Robin, how's hacking going?” Nightwing moved to help keep stray ice shots and bullets off Red Robin. Spoiler needed to focus more on civilians.

“I've managed to sabotage all of the other wigs in this building except for 10 of them. They're signals are jammed so close together and something is keeping me from shutting them down the same way. I'm trying what I can, but I don't know which one of these is controlling Scraps,” Red Robin answered, angrily typing away at his wrist computer, “Oracle can you use my position to isolate the chip controlling Scraps?”

“Working on it now,” Oracle could be heard typing away in their coms as the fight between Robin and Scraps continued. So far, it seems Scraps was able to back Robin closer to an isolated spot. His beloved sword was half coated in frost along with a part of his torso. Spoiler only had 2 hostages left to free, both with guns. She threw 2 batarang to disarm them before grabbing the rabbit helmets off them.

It was only a second, the batarang flew towards the wall after disarming the hostage. It hit, at an -oh so convenient- ricochet. To hit Danny. A blonde chunk of hair was on the ground as the battle suddenly halted between him and Robin. It grazed his cheek and the blade was stopped by the diadem under the wig; it had only cut a third through the band. Just a little interference… A white gloved hand touched the cut to see green blood. It was corrosive and slowly eating at the cloth glove. He reached up and pulled the batarang out of the diadem with little effort and examined it. Danny could sense a familiar energy from it. 

  Robin had frozen. A stray batarang had just landed in the head of the hostage they had been trying to save. They were dead- or not? There was no more than a small smear of… blood? It was green, and glowed a little, and so did the cut on their skin. It was their blood. Scraps was not human… That didn't matter, Robin still needed to free Scraps and get them somewhere safe. Mad Hatter needed to be locked up in Arkham, though Robin always thought that was too light a punishment for him. 

  Robin was able to get closer while Scraps was focused on the batarang. Examining it with calculating eyes. The wig now had an uneven cut, but it revealed that the wig wasn't the problem. Getting close enough to grab them, Robin did so. Scraps’ eyes were flickering, bright blue, to dim blue, and an occasional flash of what had to be green. Lazarus pits… No, their blood was also green, do not draw conclusions without all the evidence. Robin could get a sample at least. He snuck a vial from his utility belt and touched it to the cut, getting a small gush of blood and seeing the metal band which had been cut partially. Scraps hadn't moved, frozen into a deep stare… Taking advantage, Robin used a solvent to melt the wig glue and remove it. Revealing the band to everyone along with fluffy and matted black hair. Then the band sparked from the cut.

That seemed to have snapped Scraps out of their daze as they grabbed Robin’s arm and covered him in a net of ice that kept him from moving again before jumping back. 

“RR, I don't think you'll like this,” Oracle spoke up, “Three of the chips are flickering in and out of function but it looks like all ten of them are on Scraps.”

“Fuck,” Red Robin cursed as he was having the same result on his screen, “It must all be in that band around their head. Nightwing-”

“Yeah, I know,” Nightwing took a breath before splitting off from Red Robin.

  Spoiler had tried approaching Scraps in the meantime. The ice sword had disappeared along with the shield. It was a short fight, one where Scraps was clearly distracted, and still, it ended with Spoiler frozen in an ice net, much like Robin. Red Robin would have jumped into the fight next, but found he'd been frozen to the beam he was perched on. Red Hood found his boots had been frozen to the ground. It was up to Nightwing and Orphan.

Scraps jumped away as Nightwing got close again, it was obvious they were avoiding fighting them. Red Hood, Robin, and Orphan felt it again can't stop- don't fight- help- hurts- hurts- please…

“Tsk!” Scraps flinched as the diadem sparked.

“Four chips are offline,” Oracle reported, “A fifth started flickering.”

“Come on , Scraps. Lets get that off you,” Nightwing slowly approached, “You don't want to fight, right?”

“... … no…” their voice was just above a whisper. Their real voice, with that slight midwestern accent. Another spark made them flinch.

“Right,” Nightwing gave a soft smile as he reached out a hand.

  Scraps eyes still flickering between blue and green. They moved quickly, past Nightwings hand and grabbed one of the escrima sticks. Jumping back again, Scraps stood on a defensive stance, trembling left hand holding onto the taser end. Red Hood couldn't focus as all he felt from Scraps was scared-hurt-stop-resistresistresist! 

“Nightwing,” Red Hood spoke up, the feelings from Scraps were starting to become overwhelming. Stop me- please- gonna hurt- hurting- please… “They want you to do it…”

“It's gonna kill them…”

“... Sh… ort… cir-cuit… please…” Scraps was flickering, internally fighting between avoiding the pain and being intangible and being solid to take the shock, “...I’ll… be… … o…kay… …”

With a shaky breath Nightwing leapt forward and activated the stick before Scraps could shift away. It was the worst scream that had erupted from them. A wave of pain!- painpain! - dying- hit every one of the bats. The windows cracked and the lights flickered out, a few bursting sending sparks and hot glass over them.

It went on, mostly because Scraps refused to let go. It was a full minute before the lock on the band shorted out and it slipped off. Hitting the ground as Scraps fell. Orphan was quick to catch them, they were unconscious now.

“That was terrible,” Nightwing sighed. He had just zapped the kid they were trying to save. The kid who already had dangerously low vitals.

“The frost is weaker now,” Robin had finally broken himself free from the cold prison.

“My head is killing me,” Signal, free from the ice and snow, managed to get Batman to wake up.

“Batman, Mad Hatter has been apprehended and the hostages have all been freed. Scraps still needs medical attention,” Nightwing was the quickest to recover, but that scream was still haunting him. His focus now was making sure Scraps didn't die.

“What was that?” Red Robin rubbed the sides of his head as he was freed from the beam. Ice all around the room was defrosting. Slippery surfaces were disappearing, not even puddles of water left behind.

“Empath,” Orphan answered, running her fingers through Scraps's hair, “Felt their pain.”

“Let's just get the kid some medical attention,” Red Hood stood closer to Scraps. He couldn't feel anything apart from the quiet humming of hurts- in pain- free- comfort… as Orphan continued to gently pet Scraps. They seemed comfortable with the touch, for now.

“I'll grab a spare outfit for them,” Spoiler left, she had a less bubbly mood than usual.

“Hm,” Batman grunted, as the team started to split up again. His head was still throbbing, he likely had a concussion. Signal and Red Robin left to fill in with the police, but not before grabbing the diadem for examination later.

  For now, the fight was over and all that was left was the clean up here and at the Botanical Gardens.

~~~

Master List

Part 2

Part 4

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

REMEMBER BACK WHEN WE GOT INVITED TO A MASQUERADE??? And we figured out the masquerade guests are definitely the sacrifice meant to summon their eldritch deity and that the party will probably be the location of the final ritual? ANYWAY WE’RE CRASHING THE PARTY, which means we need costumes.

The party is Alice in Wonderland themed; Sammy hasn’t read the book but got kin-assigned the March Hare by Joey, so naturally i’ve been doing nothing but drawing this loser in a dapper rabbit costume for an entire week

---

Anyway have a little smattering of out-of-context quotes from session 11

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Sammy] Sammy just has no magical powers. [Jack] YET. [Sammy] Yet. Correct. ...He doesn't want any. [GM] Half of him doesn't want any. [Sammy] That's... accurate, yeah. Half of him ALSO wants the OTHER half of him to stop having magical powers. [Jack] No Magical Girl transformation? [GM] *laughing* Is that what that is? [Jack] I'd watch a magical anime where the main character drugs themself and then becomes a weird... religious... madman! [Sammy] That does sound compelling! Maybe you should see if you can find a franchise that contains that element, and then become a big fan of it and draw a bunch of fanart for some reason. [Jack] Yeah, I dunno, I mean... it's so tiring getting into new media, I need to get a friend who will drag me into it. [Henry] And then you guys can start a roleplaying game with it and drag me into it! [GM] There's an idea! [Jack] Yeah! Someone should get on that! [GM] And if there was such a theoretical game... people might have to figure... what they're doing when they wake up!

[Sammy] We were put in a situation before where we were told that the only thing we could do was kill the host, but we found a way around it last time, [Peter] What way was that? [Sammy] Complicated.

[GM] Henry is the first to notice the apparent cultist, camping out, looking tired, trying to spot you guys. [Henry] Uh, Henry is just going to tap Sammy on the arm and point him out. [Jack] Bros! You've got to unionise! Look at these working conditions! [GM] Maybe one of these days you won't spot them, right? Hope springs eternal!

[GM] Okay, you can make an intimidate! [Sammy] Okay! *rolls* FIFTEEN IS -- this is the only thing Sammy's good at now -- fifteen is a hard success!

[Jack] I'm proud of him! [Sammy] Someone has to be.

[GM] Allison chats with everyone, and gets you into the costume room! Everyone seems relatively friendly! [Sammy] Except Sammy. Sammy doesn't seem friendly.

[Joey] My idea was, Joey would be Mad Hatter -- [Sammy] Because he needs a hat, [Joey] --Yeah, so he can have a hat -- I was thinking Sammy could be the March Hare, Jack could be White Rabbit, and then Henry could be the Dormouse, [Sammy] Yes! And then the Haiti boys are all the Mad Teaparty, which is great, because the Mad Teaparty is canonically trapped in a time loop. [Sammy] Because we tHOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH,

[Jack] Kin-assign Pete! [GM] He's content to wear anything that looks like it fits him, as long as people aren't trying to push a co-ordinated effort. [Joey] (Pete can be Caterpillar,) [Jack] Catter-pete-lar [Sammy] Oh my goodness. Completely unnecessary. [Jack] This is a pun that Jack might make, out loud, to Pete [GM] Pete laughs, despite himself! [Sammy] I feel like, Jack would make this pun, and then Jack would be SO pleased with himself that Pete would laugh, because Jack was so happy about it. [Jack] Yeah that sounds canon. ....It IS canon!!

[Jack] You can like, actually pretend to be people who decided to come to this party to enjoy it, and not just steal and/or murder!

[Henry] I want someone on the help, because I feel like we would have more control if we had someone on the inside, [Henry] And Henry does have a very forgettable face, apparently!!

[Joey] What are the staff wearing? Target red shirt, khaki pants? [Sammy] Perfect! Everyone will fall for it! Based on my experience wearing red shirts into Target!

[GM] I guess this does mean Joey misses an opportunity to dress up Henry. [Joey] *excited gasp* Wait, wait, [GM] What? [Joey] Sorry, this has nothing to do with anything that's happening right now in the roleplay, but I just suddenly realised that (1) when Henry got married, was Joey his best man, and (2) did Joey get to pick out his tuxedo for him [Henry] UHHHH... I feel like, Henry usually defaults to Joey for outfits and stuff, but he would hesitate a bit to ask his best friend who has an obvious crush on him to help dress for his heteronormative wedding!

[Joey] There probably is at least one of the wedding photos where Joey is insistent on standing very next to Henry -- while Henry's next to Linda! -- but, [GM] ...but also, Joey is here, [Joey] But also Joey is here. [Sammy] ...absolute disaster of a man... [GM] But the tuxedos look good! [Joey] Yes. Henry was properly fitted.

[Sammy] I don't want a full-- I don't want a freakin' fursuit, because-- [Henry] (FNAF in the distance)

[Sammy] But I feel like, since both White Rabbit and March Hare are, like, dapper rabbits, they could do something like, yeah, splicer mask and also a hat. [Jack] I mean, Jack's not opposed; Jack likes hats. [Sammy] Jack absolutely should have a hat, I agree. [Jack] He's getting so many hats! So many hats, and so many boyfriends, [GM] He can't be stopped! [Jack] >:3c He shouldn't be stopped.

[GM] I'm still just stuck on the phrase "Dapper Rabbits."

[GM] If Joey and Allison are talking further away, I guess it's moot. Though Allison did see Prophet Sammy! He changed in her room. [Sammy] Well, nobody explained him to her. Sammy just showed up the next day and hoped that we wouldn't talk about it, and then we didn't! It was great. [Jack] Sammy's over here, hoping that Allison is distracted by Joey so that none of this conversation is being listened to, [Jack] MEANWHILE, smash cut to the other side of the room, where Joey is explaining SillySam,

[Joey] A lot of Joey's lack of giving information was to keep her out of it, and not paint a target on her back... but now? She has a target on her back, so... Sure! You can also sacrifice yourself, for the greater good!

[Sammy] I'm sure someone in this party will thank Allison. It won't be me. But I'm sure someone will.

[Henry] Henry's already smearing his blood on people, he's gonna agree to whatever at this point.

[Sammy] DEFINITELY not a cult, now hold still while we put this guy's weird glowing blood on you, it's fine. [Jack] Welcome to the flock!

[GM] What does this mean for Prophet Sammy's sacrificeability rating on Henry, though? Now he's potentially long-term useful... [Sammy] I mean... [Jack] The Prophet isn't here so he doesn't need to know about this! [Sammy] ...I feel like, if something has greater value, then it's an even more impressive sacrifice. That's why you sacrifice an unblemished sheep, traditionally. If it's not a blemish-- [Sammy] Like, that's most of what he was worried about, like, “does this make you not fit for sacrifice.” But if it's actually a really cool thing, ...!

[Sammy] Sammy's nervous. [Jack] Jack is also nervous. [Henry] Henry is also nervous! [Jack] Oh, that's always a good sign, [Joey] Joey's going to be confident! [Henry] ...Of course he is. [Joey] Someone has to be! [Jack]...is he "Confident" or "Confident (Fast Talk)"? [Joey] YES. That last one. [Sammy] *muttering* That's the best we got, unfortunately.

[Sammy] If Jack or Henry express nervousness, Sammy agrees with them. If Pete is nervous, then Sammy will very aggressively say that Joey knows what he's doing.

[Sammy] Allison, don't use a spell to bind people's souls together in order to avoid crunch,,, [GM] You never know when something might be handy! [Sammy] I mean, [GM] Waste not want not!

[Henry] Does Henry have to draw in blood on himself...? [GM] No, Henry has a lot of his own blood on his person.

[GM] Aw, man, Bendy should've commented on the rabbit outfits! I'm sure he'd find that hilarious. [Joey] ...why...? [GM] WHY? It's just objectively funny! No additional reason is needed!!

[Joey] Joey will go through his notes, and confer with Henry and Bendy on, okay, shall we try this, and see if we can help Bendy as well? [Henry] Henry is down to try! [GM] Bendy is worried about Henry overexerting himself. [Henry] ...Henry is down to try!

[Jack] Worst case, Jack looks at the symbol, and then he can be seeing-eye rabbit for the rest of the group!

[GM] Norman wonders what the plan is! [Henry] Bold of you to assume,

[Sammy] We're having such a good sleepover! We did a weird blood ritual, and we're braiding each other's hair~ [Joey] Having a fashion show, [Sammy] Yeah! We went out and got clothes, [Jack] Can't believe Joey called a boy, [Sammy] Gotta ask Joey about the boy he likes... wait, no, don't do that. [Jack] I'd say it's time to play seven minutes in heaven, but I think we, we did that early. [Sammy] WE DIDN'T DO A VERY GOOD JOB,

[GM] Norman wants to see how this plays out. [Joey] Okay, well, try not to get sacrificed, then, [GM] He laughs, and thanks you for the advice! [Sammy] *Hypnos Hadesgame voice* "Try not to get sacrificed, okay?"

[Henry] Allison is very helpful, and not weird at all!

[Joey] We already have the banjo case full of ritual circles, and Joey would rather have the emergency circles than Sammy carrying around bOTTLES OF INK. [Sammy] WHY, WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT THAT TO BE HAPPENING? WHAT WOULD BE THE PROBLEM WITH THAT,

[GM] Make a sanity check! [Jack] Wait, what's happening? [Sammy] Joey was trying to think too hard.

[GM] Sammy does manage to catch that there's a little-- next to the kitchen, when you go into the place where they're serving food, there's a sign that says "Sheep Shop" over it. And there's a person wearing a sheep mask, handing out food. [Sammy] OKAY, THAT'S FINE,,, I don't feel like Sammy has actually read Through The Looking Glass, so I don't know if he knows why this is happening. I think he's just concerned. [GM] Excellent. Ideal response.

[GM] And Joey has NEVER seen the symbol EVER because he's incredible at not looking at creepy symbols! Which you wouldn't expect. [Sammy] I'm sure Joey will put this in his autobiography.

[Jack] :/ No Hashtag Gay Rights at this party,

[GM] Seems to be another party-goer; in fact, you recognise the voice! [Joey] Ohhh. Kyle -- I don't know his actual name, but -- [Sammy] (Dennis!) [GM] (Yes, that's-) [Joey] -- Kyle.

[Henry] Henry is going to try to sneak up on Moonlight while he's distracted! [GM] OH! ...Okay! He's very distracted, Sammy just screamed! [excited noises from everyone beCAUSE NO ONE EXPECTED THIS] [GM] You successfully sneak up behind him! [Henry] I'm going to grab the staff! [GM] Make a Brawl check, with advantage! [Sammy] (He has SO many limbs that don't work my dude, you got this,) [Henry] That's a success! [GM] You snatch it! [Henry] I RUN!!!

[Joey] We're just both escorting Jack, now. [Sammy] Would you say Jack is late, for a very important date? [Jack] Well YEAH, his Face Removal was scheduled like 2 dreams ago!!

[GM] He'd have to roll for it, to see if it felt familiar to his trip to Carcosa. [Jack] Extreme success! [GM] Then he would pick up that familiar feeling! [Jack] Oh, nice and homey at this party! Really nice. Nostalgic! It's been a while. [Sammy] Hm, [Jack] Maybe he should go play the piano, for old time's sake! [Sammy] NO

[howcanisayy]

Stray Kids "ODDINARY" Main Trailer: Thoughts and Theories

The concept seems interesting if not a bit awkwardly executed as of right now. Compared to TXT and EN–, it doesn’t seem like SKZ fans are that into theories about what the trailer means aside from the potential release date, at least from the digging I’ve done. To be fair, it had only been half a day and I guess groups like TXT had really opened themselves to being theorized. 

*reminder, these theories (esp for SKZ comebacks) really only regard the overall vibe of the album, they won’t necessarily reflect that closely with the main mv (although I hope it does), moreso these the concepts might potentially develop in the multitude of side track mvs that SKZ are notorious for. 

Here’s my working theory right now: 

A DYSTOPIAN ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Felix= Alice  Bang Chan= White Rabbit  Han= Mad Hatter Hyunjin= Queen of Hearts  Lee Know= the March Hare I.N.= Dormouse Changbin= Not sure (maybe The Dutchess/Cheshire Cat???) Seungmin= Mock Turtle? 

(yeah the last two I have no idea)

I think that this concept is centered around the idea that being odd is the ‘new normal’. That comes not only from the title of the new album, but from the fact that the two words are combined, in the trailer it literally transforms from ORDINARY → ODDINARY . 

A big question (that fans have asked) is whether this being “odd” is good or not. In previous SKZ videos we see them being a mix of eccentric styles (think of any of the members’ appearances in God’s Menu, Back Door, Thunderous), however, their style in the trailer seem to be more off putting in appearance. And at the end of the trailer, we see Felix with the blue and yellow eyes. I feel like that was a callback to a certain character but I have no idea which one. I thought at first it was a reference to the Cheshire Cat but upon further research it was not. 

But eyes do hold significance. The changing of one’s eyes is signaling of one’s abstract vision. Now Felix will see things differently. But will he see things better or worse? Will he see things clearer and with foresight? Will he join the dark side or the light? 

I think that that touches on two main ideas regarding the trailer and the larger storyline:

Felix falling from the building 

Although he was pushed, he does seem to mouth ‘yes’ after Huynjin asks him if he wants to be oddinary and right before he pushes him. That, on top of the fact that, unlike Alice, Felix wasn’t lead to this place, but that he was journeying there himself, and even though he seemed startled by the people he finds, he still keeps going. If this is him breaking off from ‘ordinary’ society, i think that works well with pre-existing concepts of leaving modern society. It’s something that’s been done often in dystopian fiction and is reminiscent of late 90’s cult classics Fight Club and the Matrix (the Matrix itself being loosely based on Alice in Wonderland). There is a whole concept around these stories about ‘feeling something is inherently wrong and wanting to push against the restraints of what we know, and ends up seeking or is dropped into a unique alternative. Yeah i never watched the movies.

At first I thought Felix understood what happened to the missing people and went out to seek the abnormal.  But then, considering how he looked different from the people sitting on the bus, it might be that he was in search of the ordinary. But as he goes deeper into that world, the more he is intrigued, as much as he is apprehensive. (or maybe he misheard hyunjin and thought he said do you want to be ordinary, i would do that lol). The transition involves him jumping and killing his former self in order to pursue the “odd version” that he was searching for. That makes one wonder, if Felix seemed more innocent and curious (and curiouser) at the beginning of the trailer, then at the end, does he seem more sinister, or just more knowing? 

My theory is that, since he does not acknowledge any of the members, that this could be the “prequel” to SKZ, before they're actualized. This could be Felix becoming the person that he needed to be this whole time, even if that person seems scary or worrying at first, and even if he needs to go missing first. 

     2. The Sound Monster (can you tell I’m a grown adult)

If that concept isn’t done yet (considering it was still there for Christmas Eve-L), I’d say that maybe this isn’t a prequel concept at all. Perhaps the sound that they were trying to fight all along wasn’t bad. In some ways, they seem to lean into that.

Noeasy is literally about the group owning up to the fact that their music is noisy, but it still slaps

They do not seem to care about Christmas as a concept (hence the title can be read as Christmas Evil) and they seem to be reluctant to do their job as the makeshift Santa Clauses too. Their ‘down with the government’ concept from Miroh is really coming after everyone.

It could be that the common or ordinary things in society were the evil ones all along, and the things that one thought were evil were actually “never bad.” However, one has to completely remove themselves from society in order to have that “sight”. 

Tbh, I could be completely wrong and once they show more of the concept, it turns out that I’m a clown. Or this could just be an evil version of SKZ that comes to add a morally gray concept to fighting the sound monster. Or just completely inverted SKZ, like freakin X-EXO. Honestly if we get something edgy and akin to Obsession I’m down. I just hope the comeback is good. 

***Things I have no idea about yet: 

The “Frankenstein” version of their album 

Changbin’s free hugs thing??

***Other thoughts:

-it could also be that the “noise” as a villain is two-sided. Maybe there is good noise and bad noise.

[yabookrevu]

Heartless - Marissa Meyer

Another day, another book review.

Read this one last night. As usual (because I am a disaster person), I didn’t correctly guess what story this was a retelling of. And even though it says very clearly on the back of the book (in the first line of the blurb, no less) something about Wonderland, my brain went to Snow White. No idea why (maybe something about the huntsman being sent to cut out Snow White’s heart? idk), but anyway: This book is related to Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

But there’s no Alice in this version. The main character is Catherine, the daughter of a nobleman in the (approximately Victorian-era) kingdom of Hearts. Catherine is not good at the things that are expected of her as a noblewoman, but is instead an excellent baker. She finds herself falling for the new court joker, a mysterious man named Jest. This is complicated by the fact that the king of Hearts has chosen her to be his bride.

Now, all of that is covered by the blurb on the back of the book. So let’s dive into some (spoiler-free) points about the story itself, in no particular order:

- This book is distinct from a lot of the YA books I’ve read in that it is a gentler love story. Meaning that there’s no sex. The most scandalous it gets is a couple of kisses, and even those aren’t aggressively described. So if you’re not into that element of a book for any particular reason, then this might be a better choice for you than a lot of the other ones.

- The love story is, I would say, the main plotline of this book. There are absolutely other things: friendship, monsters (one monster), court intrigue. But it seems like the budding love between Cath and Jest is the main component. Y’know, the more I read, the more I narrow down the types of stories that I like. This book nudged me closer to figuring it out, because the answer is clearly “not this.” I like a love story as much as the next person, but I have come to realize that I more enjoy a story where people are pushed together to overcome some obstacle, and they happen to fall in love during their quest. There’s not a lot of quest to this book. It’s first and foremost, a love story.

- This is a personal note. I’ve never read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, and it’s been a very long time since I’ve watched Alice in Wonderland (it’s not one of my favorite Disney movies). There are a lot of characters in this book that you would remember from the movie version (again, can’t comment on the original book). You’ll see appearances by the Caterpillar, the Cheshire Cat, The Mad Hatter and the March Hare, along with, I’m sure, many others that I’ve forgotten. I felt like there were quite a few references that I would have had a better appreciation of if the movie were more clear in my mind. Just little callbacks sprinkled throughout that tugged on something at the back of my mind, but not strongly enough for me to remember anything about them. So, you might want to watch the movie BEFORE reading this book. It’s not the same story at all, so you’ll still go in fresh.

- There is a lot of silliness in the way the characters talk. I read the same joke at three different points throughout the book before I slowed down and really looked at it. (”Are you alright?” “No, but I’m mostly right.”) If you’re a fan of any part of the Wonderland mythos, you’ll probably have a good time reading these little exchanges.

Now, the million dollar question: Would I recommend this book? The answer is a resounding... I don’t know. This wasn’t my favorite of the books that I’ve read, simply because of the story. I probably won’t re-read it. BUT! The book was well-written and told a solid story. I will definitely be seeking out the author’s other books, which are loosely based on other fairy tales. So I would say, if you already like Alice in Wonderland, definitely give it a read. If you think you can give the story more of a chance than I did, then go for it! If, however, you’re also not a fan of Alice in Wonderland, maybe skip this one and look for other books by the same author. It was a good book. Just not my cup of tea. ;)

Heartless, Marissa Meyer, $11.99, 449 Pages

[teaforten]

Rabbit and the Monkey Cups - (Part 1/2)

Did you need AIW fanfic? Here is AIW fanfic.

I haven’t written in a long time for this show, but it was Rachel’s birthday and I decided to turn a little thing into a big thing. But didn’t finish it, so this is part one of two. 

Here’s a preview, and the rest is under cut. Tumblr wanted to put a bunch of spaces in between every paragraph and frankly I don’t have the energy to take them all out, so sorry about that. 

Preview:

Wondermart was having a huge clearance sale on Halloween stuff, so Hatter and Hare were promptly there on a crisp November afternoon, to hit two birds with one stone. You see, Rabbit’s birthday was at the end of the week. How did they know? Alice had just told them. She was tagging along right behind them, actually, mentioning it in a timid fashion, because she herself was unsure what to get the bunny, or any bunny really, let alone one of his age.

“Ahhh, there’s got to be something here,” Hatter said to the other two confidently.  

“You think he might want a new cape?” Hare wondered, patting at some leftover Dracula capes at the end of a costume rack.

“It’s possible. How about a skull? You think he needs one of these?” By now, Alice was squinting as Hatter plucked up a funky glow-in-the-dark skull from a shelf of cheap yard decorations.

“No, let’s get him this candy bowl,” Hare suggested, though just as he indicated it, the plastic skeleton’s hands guarding its mouth closed around his hand and gave him a serious jolt.

“You guys...” Alice started.

“I want that for myself,” Hatter told Hare.

“Hell if you’re keeping that in your kitchen!”

“It’ll be great for my cookies!” Hatter insisted, with a scowl. “Lord knows you’re not keeping me away from them!”

“You GUYS.”

“Huh?” They both turned to her obliviously, holding each side of the bowl as the skeleton hands slapped open and closed.

“I don’t think Rabbit wants leftover Halloween stuff for his birthday,” she tried to tell them, in what was the most neutral voice she could manage.

“Are you sure?” Hatter wondered. She just rolled her eyes.

“Why don’t we try, uh, some plants at the nursery, or, or a sleep mask? Some fuzzy slippers?”

Her two companions looked to each other and shrugged like she might have a point.

So off to the Wonderland nursery they went, where Alice was plucking up pots of pansies and tulips and flashing them at Hatter and Hare, who seemed not at all impressed. “I mean they’re fine if you just want something to take up space in your window sill,” Hare told her with his eyes half closed. Alice was silent, as she really didn’t see a problem with this. “Alice. Alice Alice Alice~~” Hare drawled, looking around the nursery like he was embarrassed to have to explain this to her. “When my Grandpa December was around the Rabbit’s age, he was going through his very last existential crisis, and the last thing he needed was to fill up his window sills.”

Hatter nodded emphatically. “Mhm. Mhm. That’s a mid-life crisis kind of present.”

“What we need to get the Rabbit is something that reminds him that he’s in control of his life again.”

“Right! Something that says twilight can be just as exciting as any sunrise,” Hatter chipped in, swooping his hand into the air.

“I don’t know where you’re going with this,” Alice told them.

“Well obviously--” Hatter started... then he turned to Hare, looking for some help. “Where are we going with this?”

Hare was all shifty-eyed by now. “Come. Come, my children,” he said.

In no time, they were being led to the “restricted” section of the nursery… a shady little greenhouse shack thingy-mabob… covered with vines and thorns. And the woman helping customers there looked awfully witchy. Her wiry salt and pepper hair was stacked onto her head in a bun, almost all of her fingers had a ring, and she was walking around with a hunch. It gave Alice the creeps. Hatter, too. He was trying to hide behind her, actually, and it wasn’t working out very well.

“Do you have a membership card?” She asked Hare, also looking very shifty-eyed. Hare took out his wallet and flashed the goods. Then she jerked up her chin like a bouncer who had recognized one of their own, as if to say “a’iiiight, ya’ll’s cool to go in”...

In a very interesting turn of events, it was Hatter clutching Hare’s arm and nibbling his knuckles, and Alice trailing behind them, using his coat-tails as some kind of safety leash.

“Poisonous… carnivorous…” Alice read the signs hesitantly as they passed them.

“Cadaverous… smelly?!” Hatter screeched.

“Oh, the smelliest!” Hare flapped his hands and kept walking.

“I don’t think the Rabbit is going to want a smelly plant, Mr. Hare. After all, he’ll have to keep it at the palace, and if the Queen doesn’t like it…” Alice started.

“Well then I know! We’ll get him a guard plant!” Hare concluded. Hatter seemed both extremely terrified and extremely excited about seeing which selections of guard plant this place had.

“There are plants that can guard palaces?” Alice wondered incredulously.

“Shhh, everyone be quiet,” Hare told them. They weren’t far from an enclosure where a deep crimson light was shining on a beastly looking growth in the corner of the greenhouse. At its base was an array of spikey pads clustering around even spikier shoots and bulbs -- all more or less foaming at the mouths, or whatever it had.

“What? It can’t hear us--” Alice tried to say before Hatter’s hand fell over her mouth.

“You don’t know that,” he stage-whispered without looking at her. She almost had the nerve to bite him. Evidently, Hare had immediately forgotten to show any caution once he realized what was in the enclosure because he was bursting at the seams and hopping in place like a cheerleader without pom-poms.

“Oh, WOW. They said they were going to order it in, but I HONESTLY DIDN’T BELIEVE THEM. Look you guys, it’s a GIANT CATAPULTING FLYPAPER TRAP! And no wonder they’ve got these bars: someone could fall right into that thing and they’d be a GONER,” Hare told them, tenting his fingers and grinning from ear to ear, with every possible dimple in his face showing.

“Geez, Mr. Hare. I never realized you were so, well, morbid.” Hare looked mildly surprised for a second, then just shrugged.

“Anyway, Rabbit could never handle something like this. And look at the price. Oof!” They watched Hare take out a neon green notepad from his pocket and scribble down a note. “Reminder to myself to break open the ole piggy bank when I get home. I just might have enough!”

It was Hatter’s turn to lay down the line:

“Hell if you’re keeping that in your garden!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t put it in my garden. I’d put it in my dungeon,” Hare told him matter-of-factly.

“Ohhhhh. Well in that case… just remember to show it who’s boss.” A whole lotta eyebrow wiggling and elbow jabbing took place before Alice could no longer sit with this image. She pointed at the first thing she saw.

“Uhh, what about this? This looks exciting enough. What is it?” She asked Hare, who was even blushing by now. He cleared his throat.

“Oh, those are… I think I remember… oh yes! Monkey cups!”

“Monkey cups? That doesn’t sound too scary.”

Hatter and Hare shrugged. Their minds had clearly moved on to other things. “Nahhhh, guess not! It’d probably be perfect for Rabbit - he can feed it bugs and stuff when he’s having a bad day. Hahahahhaha!” Alice frowned just as soon as he winked at her. “What? We all know he has a sadistic side.”

@ @ @

As cool as the plant was, Alice wasn’t particularly sold on the idea that Rabbit would be satisfied with just that kind of gift on his birthday, so she begged and pleaded for them to come with her to hit the nearest convenience store. They were being absolute drama kings about it as if they were in some kind of black and white purgatory hell as she perused the greeting card section for just the right one.

“Come on, Alice. How is this watercolor pastel painting of flowers any different from the other ten that you looked at?” Hatter wondered with his eyes rolled back into his head and his giant purple body slumped up against one of the flimsy card racks. A clerk nearby could now see how precarious this situation looked and was watching them carefully.

“And they all say happy birthday!” Hare chimed in as he wandered up to Alice’s side. As he did so, she noticed that he was holding the pot of monkey cups off to one side of his chest, almost as if he had been breastfeeding them or something. He also randomly had a hiccup blanket over his shoulder. She scrunched up her face for a second before she had a response prepared.

“Yes, but they just don’t have that… oomf!” Alice told them, making sort of a “glitter exploding” gesture with her hand.

The both of them repeated the word several times to each other, also imitating the gesture.

“You know. A certain... je ne sais quoi?” She emphasized, even getting on her tippy toes. Hatter tilted his head and mimed the phrase in confusion while Hare tried to pronounce it. He even handed Hatter the plant so he could sort of pop his booty out and tip his toe, while still butchering the phrase spectacularly. Alice smiled and rolled her eyes. “It’s French. I learned it from my penpal, Yvette. It means. Well, it means that you don’t know what it means. But it’s something special.”

Hatter frowned.

“Alice, do you even know why we’re here?” He asked.

“Because we’ve been trying to figure it out for the past eternity.”

“We’ve been here for five or ten minutes tops. And yes, I know why I’m-- DUM!” She hopped when she saw a familiar face pass the glass from the outside. The Tweedles were on their way to the front doors. Hatter and Hare cranked their necks as the bell on the door jingled, while Alice went to greet the twins without a moment’s hesitation, as if they were rescuing her. It would seem they might have also been whispering their hellos and other exchanges, which was just plain rude, in Hatter’s opinion, based on the way he squished up his lips. He looked Hare in the eye and nothing further needed to be said.

Just as the Tweedles were heading back with Alice to the card section, they passed Hatter and Hare, who were on their way to the door. “Oh hey, you two!” Dee greeted, followed by some timid waving by Dum. “Hey guys, uh, we’re just gonna be going,” Hare told them, jutting his thumb out with a crooked smile. “It’s these poor little guys’ nap time.”

“Uhh yeah, and we’d hate to be a 4th and 5th wheel,” Hatter muttered, sort of coddling the monkey cups and shielding them from the Tweedles’ view. Hare was equally concerned about this and hovered around him, trying to put the hiccup blanket, which had a soft little cartoon cactus print, around Hatter’s arm and over the plant, going “sh sh sh…”

Dee cocked his brow and didn’t say a thing until they were gone.

Then, once they were:

“Why are they going around babying a patch of bright green dangling plant dicks?” Just as soon as he said it, Dum was seized by cackles… and more or less so was Alice. But hearing“Mr. Dee” talk like that was highly unusual.

She wanted to speak but couldn’t stop laughing and started sinking into herself. Dum had to pull her up before she hit the floor. “What?! What is it, Alice?! XD” He kept asking her.

“They’re not plant weeners!” She peeped into his ear, still trying to properly breathe again. “They’re m-monkey cups! They’re for the Rabbit! For his birthday!”

This started a whole new round of reeling between the Tweedles, which garnered the attention of the store clerk, who still wasn’t happy about Hatter leaning on all the card racks.

“Excuse me… do you three plan on buying anything?” He asked. He was old, uptight, and easy to dismiss.

“Oh yeah, sure,” Dee told him, swishing his hands before he let them fall on Dum and Alice’s shoulders. On their way to the cards, Alice tried to explain the meandering logic that had led her and her eccentric companions to and from the nursery today, with such an odd purchase.

“Well just make sure the Hare keeps the receipt, is all I’ve got to say!” Dum told her, earning a high-five from Dee.

“You guys wanna help me find something else?” She wondered, quite relieved just to be hearing sensible sentiments again. Dee thought about if he had any plans for the day.

“I’m game.”

“Yeah, so am I,” Dum said.

“A’ight. Let’s find something with some real je ne sais quoi around here and then hit that sleep store across from Just Add Sugar!” Dee turned up his nose with a smug smile like he knew exactly what he was doing. And he probably did.

@ @ @

It was five-thirty in the afternoon and Hatter and Hare were tipped back in their chairs with their bellies full of crumpets, cookies, and jam. And tea, of course. Lots and lots of tea. Beside the Hare was one of those bouncy baby seats that he periodically tipped with his foot. And inside of the baby seat was the pot of monkey cups, wrapped up in the cactus blanket. Several crumpet crumbs were surrounding it. “Do you think it liked the crumpets?” Hatter was busy scraping food out of his teeth and was probably in a food coma when he answered:

“I mean, it ate them, didn’t it?”

“I think so.”

Just then, they saw the Tweedles and Alice frolicking by, flailing shopping bags and sipping slurpees. It was an immediate outrage. Then they slam-dumped the empty cups into Hatter’s trash-can outside the gate. “Oh hi, Hatter and Hare!” Dum shrieked cheerily in a blur.

“Bye, Hatter and Hare!” Dee shouted, just as they were opening their mouths. Alice apparently didn’t even notice where they were or whose house they were passing. It just looked like she had been having the time of her life, or something.

“You know, sometimes, Hare… I don’t know about that girl.”

@ @ @

The day of Rabbit’s birthday, Hare was simply a sobbing mess, and Hatter was having to do a lot of bedraggled consoling that frankly he was not prepared for, in order to make this visit to the palace even possible.

“Come on, Hare,” he told him, trying to pry the plant from his needy little fingers. It was not unlike trying to pry a fly from a venus fly trap. Except this fly trap was worried about the fly and was sure that keeping it in its mouth forever was the only way to keep it safe. Just as it popped free from Hare’s desperate clasp, his arms collapsed in his chest and his knees hit the ground as he wailed:

“We shouldn’t have bought them so early in the week! Now they think I’m their ma, and they’ll miss me terribly!”

Hatter frowned, then realized that he was sort of petting one of them. “Hey, what about me?”

Hare shrugged as a tear pooled in his eye. “They’ll sort of miss you too.” Hatter turned to the fourth wall and just stared. “But every plant needs their ma!”

“Then the Rabbit can be their godmother! Their fairy-godmother! Ahhh? He’ll let you visit, I’m sure.” Hatter’s proposal wasn’t all that bad. Still, Hare was caught up in a moment and could only sniffle, so his partner gave him a heavy pat on the shoulder and walked past him. “Now, I’m gonna take these guys out for one last walk, and then we’ll head to the palace. Take a hit off the hookah, if you need.”

@ @ @

The palace courtyard was unusually quiet that day. Hatter and Hare were thinking there’d either be some sort of bash already started, or they’d have to get into an argument with the Queen about letting Rabbit have free time on his birthday. Instead, they found him kicked up on the chaise lounge, being fanned with a giant banana leaf by Alice. Totally oblivious to their presence, as he was wearing a thick cushy sleep mask and slurping up a tropical smoothie with an umbrella, Rabbit had more or less slipped into nirvana, or as close to it as an old servant would ever get. On the nearest table was a catalogue for the sleep store Alice had visited with the Tweedles, there were brand new, fuzzy wuzzy bunny slippers on the floor next to him, and even a gift basket filled with soaps, bath salts, and the most basic bitch teas Hatter had ever seen. Not that he would say anything.

But he had to say something, because poor ole Hare was still waiting for his hit off the hookah to kick in and had red eyes that could be seen from a mile away. He even forgot to stand and face their friends. Hatter grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him in the right direction.

“Rabbbitttttt!” He shouted at the bunny.

“Mmmmmmm...yyyyyesss???” Hold up a moment. The peaceful smile on the Rabbit’s face slowly fell as he realized he had heard the voice of someone he was sure in the past had never helped him achieve any sort of serenity. He snatched off the sleep mask. “Oh, hello... Hatter. Hare.” He was sort of leaning back and away from them now. Luckily, he couldn’t see that Alice was behind him, trying to hold it together.

“A little birdie told us it was your birthday today!”

“A little birdie?” Rabbit scrunched up his face, confused.

“He means me,” Alice said sweetly over his shoulder.

“Oh, but you’aaa~ not a bird!”

“Yeah, but she overhears all kinds of things, like a bird on a tree-branch!” Hatter explained, to which Alice nodded, “and that was the only way we were going to know it was your birthday, you secretive, sly, s-selectively friendly…s-senior citizen--”

“You had better get on with whatever you came here for, Hatta~...” Rabbit muttered, just as Hatter felt a tickle in his throat.

“Ahem! Yes.” He turned to Hare, who had been trying to blot a tear with the cactus blanket without anyone noticing. “Uh, Hare, why don’t you take the blanket off and show Rabbit this wondeeerfulll, spectaccuullar giftttt, ahhhh?” Hatter tried his best to sprinkle all the razzle-dazzle of two people onto the reveal, but no matter of twisting and twirling elicited much of a reaction out of Rabbit once he saw under the blanket. And he only had one thing to say.

“My, those are awfully phallic, aren’t they…”

Alice just bit her lip.

“What’s ‘phallic’?” Hatter questioned, not yet sure if he should feel validated or offended. Alice shrugged, as she didn’t know either. Rabbit immediately regretted that it had ever fallen from his mouth.

“Uhhh… Well what are they, anyway?” He diverted.

The Tweedles, meanwhile, had been oo’ing and ah’ing at all the boring af statues the Queen put up in one of her hallways, like really putting on an oscar worthy performance out of the sincerest desire for Rabbit to have some alone time with his gifts in that chair. When they were back to the courtyard with her majesty, however, they were having a really hard time keeping a straight face while a clueless Hatter and an unreasonably forlorn Hare waved around the bright green plant dicks monkey cups and pitched them like they were going to be Rabbit’s newest obsession.

All they had to do was step into Alice’s vicinity and make eye-contact with her and she was already giggling.

“So you see, Rabbit, this isn’t just some midlife-crisis window-sill filler… set these up at your table on bingo nights and you’ll have all the bunny ladies crowding around, knowing you’re up to something.”

“And what exactly am I up to?” Rabbit cocked his eyebrow, quite distracted by their striking resemblance to, well, cocks.

“Bein’ a plant daddy,” Hatter told him, smiling and nodding like he was very sure of himself, “to a hardcore plant that’ll eat all the bugs in your garden. Even frogs, too!”

“Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!” Was Rabbit’s first reaction. Then he leaned forward and tapped one of the cups before the Queen belted from behind him.

“That’s BARBARIC.” Immediately, Rabbit fell right on his face on the floor beside the lounge, then had to prop himself up and heave a little when he realized she had been so close to him all along. “Why would you get Rabbit a gift like that!”

Hare had recoiled just as much as Hatter, but he looked more defeated than anything else that neither of them were impressed with his gift, especially now that they were his babies that he’d raised for a week. Once again, Hatter had to do the explaining, patting Hare’s hand, which was squeezing his arm, all the while.

“We thought he needed some excitement!”

“He has PLENTY of excitement around here!”

Rabbit darted his eyes around. He wasn’t about to disagree with her, because technically she was right, it’s just… it wasn’t the good kind of excitement. The Tweedles and Alice were feeling even surer about their gifts by now.

“Well then really, this plant can keep up with him, is all we’re saying,” Hatter told her, not even missing a beat. “Oh look, it already likes him!”

For the first time in the last five minutes, Hare had something to say: “It does?”

Hatter gave him a look. “Uhhh, of course it does, Hare. Hand it over. Wouldn’t want to keep these two parted.” Try as he may to sort of direct the pot towards the birthday bunny himself, Hare was sort of squeezing it close and didn’t know how to let go. Rabbit, meanwhile, looked completely flabbergasted as he sat there on the floor beneath those looming plant dongs. The Queen threw up her hands, which just elicited more of the Tweedles’ giggling.

“You have GOT to be kidding me!”

“Uhh, they mean well, Your Majesty!” Alice tried to step in, being the noble child among the group and all that. “I mean if you think about it… it’s just as silly as any other gift they’ve given him…”

“Hmph, you’re right… there’s no way this is a joke,” her Majesty answered back in a deep voice, with her chin tucked into her neck. Then all five of them just kept watching Hatter and Hare fuss over the pot.

“Hare, just let go! One finger at a time. Come on, now.”

“I’m trying!” Hare pouted.

“I highly doubt that!”

“You don’t know what it’s like to be a mother!”

“No, but I know what it’s like to live with one!”

“DON’T shame me for being an empath!” Hare growled through his tears, still with the cactus blanket thrown over his shoulder.

“Alright you two, listen!” Rabbit professed, just before he scurried to his feet and yanked at his vest, then patted a few fuzzballs away. “I’ll keep the plant for a few days and see how it goes, but I want He’a~ on call at all times! He obviously has a grrreener thumb than I~, but I appreciate your thinking of me on my birthdehh~, so I shall try my best. Ehh… provided her Majesty approves.”

They all slowly turned to her in suspense, looking somewhere on a spectrum between apprehensive and hopeful. And then there were the Tweedles, who were just about to whip out their popcorn bowls. The Queen squinted at them for a moment before she decided it was not her circus, not her monkeys. Well, hopefully.

“Fine. But I don’t want to hear a thing about it. Call the Hare if it gives you any trouble, and if he can’t help you, hohohhhh,” her eyes bulged as she cut her hands into the air, “it’s straight back to the nursery.”

“Of course, of course. Ehh… thank you.” Rabbit nodded to the Queen awkwardly before he turned to Hare and opened his hands to receive the plant. Hare just stared at him until Hatter leaned into him.

“Give Rabbit the plant, Hare.”

“Eheheheh! Right,” he said, his arms extending out with a tremble to relinquish his babies to his favorite frenemy. Rabbit took hold of the pot and tried not to cringe as the dongs sweeping over the side brushed his forearm. Try as he may to bring them closer to his chest, Hare came with them. He laughed and gave them a better tug, which prompted Hare to tug them back. Before everyone knew it they were bouncing back and forth. Finally, Hatter took Hare’s shoulders and held him in place, so that Rabbit could pluck the monkey cups out of his motherly smother, and inspect them with none of the same sort of affection.

“Eheheh, loveleh~ loveleh~~...” he trailed. “Well, I’d better- eh, put these somewhere. T-thank you, everyone, for the birthday wishes and gifts… You’re all too kind.”

“OH WAIT, RABBIT,” Hare screeched, wriggling out of Hatter’s grasp and pulling a baby bag out of nowhere.

“This is all of his stuff!” When Rabbit took it from him, his arm plummeted as if he had just taken a bag of bowling balls.

“Gee, thanks, I feel so prepared now~” He said through his teeth to the fourth wall. Then  he fluttered his fingers and rolled away. Hare looked at least somewhat reassured as Hatter patted him on the back and he blew his nose.

Part 2 coming soon!...

[rachel1987]

GWCFT Part 7

This is it everyone! With the Talent Show over, Hare must face his greatest fear: his mother’s opinion! In the final installment we get June Hare’s word on her son’s relationship, whether Hatter or Hare want to hear about it. What will she say?

xposted on ao3 and FF.net

A little while later, after the excitement of the goof up of the final performance, everyone was sitting around eating pretzels and having tea. They had moved a group of chairs up to the stage and were using it as a makeshift table for the time being. Most of their friends had already gone home for the night, but the Queen, Rabbit, Alice and June congregated at the foot of the stage while Hatter and Hare tried to figure out why the magic box had malfunctioned toward the back of it.

"Why didn't you perform in the talent show, your Highness?" June asked curiously, trying to make casual conversation. She had Hare's cape draped over her shoulders to keep her warm and was sipping at a cup of hot tea. "You must be very accomplished, I'm sure you could have shown us quite a show. I hear you're a wild animal trainer! My son told me that you keep a wild woebear as a pet."

"I am not a show pony," the Queen replied, taking a sip from her cup of tea. She had been drinking wine coolers all night but Rabbit suggested she switch to tea a few drinks ago. She wasn't drunk or even tipsy really, just a little more loose lipped than usual. Which could be pretty dangerous when you're already as loudmouthed as the Queen. "I came to be entertained, not to be the entertainment. It was enough that I convinced Rabbit to perform, I shouldn't have to do a song and dance as well."

"She did do a song and dance to order me to perform," Rabbit whispered to Alice, the sweatbands from his act still wrapped around his wrists. "She should have saved it for the show. It would have been much more appreciated with a larger audience."

"And I had no idea you could move like that, mr Rabbit," Alice said politely. "You're a very good dancer."

"Why, thank you, Alice," he grinned, face going a little pink. "My Mumsie did always say I was light on my feet, you know."

"Yes, I couldn't keep my eyes off you," June added, making his face turn a little green. He gave her a friendly smile and scooted his chair away a little.

"Well, heh…" Rabbit chuckled, looking at his watch. "Oh, look at the time. Your highness, I believe it is time that we make our leave. You have a busy schedule to keep tomorrow."

"Yes, and I still have my bubble bath to take tonight…" the Queen said with a grin.

"Well, in that case, it was an honor meeting you, your majesty," June said as the group joined the Queen in getting to her feet.

"I should probably be heading home too," Alice said with a smile beside the Queen and the Rabbit. "It's getting late and I don't want my parents to notice that I'm gone."

"It was lovely meeting you too, Alice. I hope to see you again soon."

Alice nodded in agreement. "Yes, that would be nice mrs Hare. Good night mr Hatter and mr Hare!"

Hatter and Hare turned their attention from the trunk and joined everyone else at the base of the stage.

"Going home so early?" Hatter asked. "I thought we'd maybe squeeze in a game of charades before the night was through."

"Oh, heh, no…" the girl shook her head. "I'm far too tired for something like that. I can come by tomorrow and help you clean up if you want."

"Oh, well that's very kind of you, Alice," he replied, hopping down from the stage and taking a seat. Hare followed suit, although he walked up beside his mother and turned to the Queen.

"Thank you for making the time to see the show, your Majesty," he said appreciatively.

"Yes, well…" the Queen smirked. "It's always a pleasure to be among my subjects. And also to meet new ones." Turning to June, she bestowed upon her the first friendly royal smile that had been offered her entire trip. "Mrs Hare, it was lovely finally meeting you. Maybe the next time you come to Wonderland we'll play a couple rounds of croquet at the Palace?"

Hare made eye contact with his mother and they silently screamed at each other out of pure joy. June took a second to compose herself before nodding her head, ears bouncing. "That would be marvelous, your Majesty. I will eagerly await your invitation to the Palace and will be there with bells on."

The Queen immediately regretted the invitation, but hid it behind her gleaming smile and nodded. "I'm looking forward to it. Come, Rabbit!"

And, with that, she took her leave with Rabbit and Alice trailing behind, each of them carrying an overflowing bag of pretzels in their hands.

All that was left was Hatter, Hare and June, standing at the foot of the stage in the empty courtyard.

"Shall we head inside for a nightcap?" Hatter offered, turning to his bunny compatriots.

"What do you think, Mom?" Hare asked her.

"Yes, that sounds nice," she said happily.

The party moved inside and settled in the living room. Hatter brewed a fresh pot of chamomile and vanilla tea, adding a splash of lemon and spiking it with brandy.

"The perfect hot toddy to end a long day," Hatter said, setting the tea tray down on his coffee table. He pulled a chair across from the Hare's, who were both sitting on the sofa.

"What did you think of the show, Mom?" Hare asked as he added some honey to his tea.

"It was just wonderful!" she exclaimed, leaning back into the plush sofa, cape still draped over her shoulders. "I had no idea all of your friends were so very talented! I was very impressed."

"Anybody stand out to you?" Hatter asked, adding an extra splash of brandy to his cup. "Other than Hare, I mean."

"Well, I actually thought your song was just delightful," June crooned. "It was very sweet and you sang it beautifully. Did you write it yourself?"

"Aww shucks, June..." Hatter's cheeks flushed and he waved her praise away, trying to make light of it. "That's awfully kind of you to say. Yes, I write all my own songs. I had been working on that one for a while and I decided now was the perfect time to perform it."

"It really was very good, Hatter," Hare praised him, taking a sip from his tea. "It was one of your best so far. You should send a recording of it to your mother, I think she'd like to hear it."

"Oh, you do?" It seemed the idea had never come to his mind to send it to her, but he was interested in the prospect. "You don't say…"

"And you're right, Hatter, I was also impressed with my son here. Even with that little goof up, you did a fantastic job with your magic act." June gave her son a pat on the knee, making him grin.

"Thanks, Mom," he blushed, enjoying the acclaim. "If I'm being honest, I was pretty nervous about it. It would have been perfect if the door on that trunk hadn't gotten stuck."

"Well, it wasn't the first time you'd locked yourself in one of those," June said, hiding her smirk behind her cup of tea.

Hare rolled his eyes and looked to the Hatter with an embarrassed expression.

"You really swooped in to the rescue though, June," Hatter added. "I had no idea you were so talented with a hairpin. In a way, you did your own talent act for all of us."

"Oh!" June put a gloved hand to her mouth and chuckled, face turning red. "I guess I did, didn't I?"

"We were all mesmerized," Hatter nodded, really lathering on the charm again.

They enjoyed the company of one another until they drank their way through the pot of tea. The dishes were moved to the kitchen, cleaned and put away and they returned to their places by the sofa to relax a little. The back door to the Hat house was open, letting a fresh breeze in, making the area comfortable.

"What are the plans for the morning?" Hatter asked, tuning his radio in to some music while they lounged.

"I don't think we really spoke about it…" Hare said, glancing at his mother, who shrugged.

"My train to the Hinterlands leaves at noon tomorrow, so that doesn't leave much time to do anything."

"Maybe I'll come by for breakfast in the morning," Hatter offered. "I'll bring some pastries and we'll all go to the station together?"

Hatter was, in a sense, inviting himself on the trip but they didn't seem to mind very much. The three of them felt very comfortable together, which was a little bit of a surprise to the Hare. He had anticipated his mother finding Hatter too outlandish and wild for her son, but she seemed to have accepted him rather well in the short amount of time they had spent together.

"I think that would be very nice," June smiled, her eyelids dropping a little. "Maybe I'll make some biscuits and gravy for breakfast. I know I saw the ingredients in your kitchen, son."

"Ooh, that would be lovely!" Hatter exclaimed, never being one to turn down a homemade meal.

"That's very sweet of you, Mom, but you don't have to…" Hare started, only for his mother to shake her head at him.

"It's no trouble at all. After everything you two have done for me all weekend, it's the least I could do." She smiled at the both of them and Hare could tell that she was getting very sleepy. They'd have to leave soon if they were going to make it all the way to his place before it got too late.

"It's settled then," Hatter said with a smile. "I'll drop by at 9, how is that?"

"Great idea, Hatter," Hare smiled. "We should probably get going, Ma. It's getting late."

June nodded and got to her feet, adjusting the cape on her shoulders again. "I think I'll powder my nose before we go."

She left the boys alone again and Hatter shifted around and took a seat next to Hare on the sofa.

"The magic act was terrible, wasn't it?" Hare asked, taking the Hatter's hand in his own.

"Terrible? No… you were fine," he tried to reassure him, wrapping an arm around the Hare's shoulders. "It made for a more exciting show, with you getting stuck like that. Nobody will forget it."

"The Cat won't let me forget it," Hare said as he rolled his eyes. "I could hear him laughing at me all the way inside the box."

"I'm sure we'll mess something else up in the next few days to make him forget about it," Hatter said with a shrug. "We are pretty good at that."

"We are," he agreed. They sat silently for a little while, listening to the radio play before Hare spoke up again . "Hey, Hatter, I didn't thank you for everything you did for me this week. You really stepped up more than I could have asked for."

"Oh, it was nothing," Hatter said, flashing that charming smile of his. "You would have done the same for me if it were my mother coming to visit. And probably more, come to think of it."

"Yeah, well," Hare laced his fingers with Hatter's and leaned against him a little. "I'd like to repay you, when Ma goes home and things go back to normal."

"I'm sure I can think of something you can do to make it up to me," Hatter said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, elbowing Hare in the ribs. The two giggled to themselves as June returned from the bathroom, trying to suddenly compose themselves in her presence. She grinned at them happily as Hare got to his feet, tugging on his lapels to better his appearance.

"You ready, Ma?"

She nodded and they made their way to the door, Hatter's hand on Hare's shoulder.

"You two travel safe and I'll see you in the morning."

"That sounds good," June replied. "Have a good night."

The pair exited through the IN door and Hatter stood at the doorway until he saw them swing the gate shut behind them and disappear into the distance. With a sigh, he looked at his courtyard. The lack of tea table made the area look strange, he'd have to fix that tomorrow before the afternoon tea party. He walked to the table the pretzel machine was on and picked up the Dormouse's teapot, carrying it inside with him to watch some late night HTV.

Hare and June made good time getting home. They had arrived by half past ten and were all settled for bed by eleven. Walking down the hall in his newly purchased sleepwear, he knocked on his mother's door before entering.

"Come in," came the reply and he pushed his head in through the crack in the door.

"You comfortable, Mom?"

She grinned seeing that he was in the pajamas she had bought him earlier that day. They were covered in little orange carrots and had a blue trim around the edges. It made him look five years old.

"Oh, yes, this is very nice," she replied from her spot, patting the quilt that was covered in embroidered vegetables. She was in a sleeping gown covered in small flowers and her hair was wrapped in curlers, with a handkerchief over them. "Thank you. Very comfortable. And everything is so spick and span. Nothing out of place."

Hare would have relished in his mother's compliments if his mind wasn't on something else. He spoke as he entered the bedroom and took a seat beside her on the bed. "Mom, what do you think of the Hatter?"

"I must be honest, son, he wasn't quite what I expected," June admitted after some thought. "I always imagined you'd settle down with someone a little more like me. A more domestic type."

What would be exciting about that? Hare thought to himself, though he didn't dare say it aloud. "We work well together, Mom. We're very compatible."

June smiled and nodded, patting her son on the arm. "I know, son, I can see that. You both really care for each other, don't you?"

Hare couldn't form words but his face said everything.

She nodded knowingly, choosing her next words very carefully. "That's all well and good, but I do have one concern." She paused and took her glasses off, looking at her son with her dark eyes that looked so much like his own. Reaching a hand out, she placed it on her sons and looked at him seriously. "Does he make you happy?"

The Hare's heart stopped beating and he almost forgot to breathe. His mother had never spoken to him like this before. "Yes, Mom. He makes me very happy."

June rubbed her thumb over her son's knuckles and smiled at him. "Then that's most important to me."

"Really, Mom? You mean it?"

June put a hand on her son's cheek and rubbed it with her thumb. "You're my son, my pride and joy, and I only want you to be happy. You've done so well here. So many friends and this lovely little house and garden. You make me very proud. However, I do want to ask for one favor."

"What's that?" Hare asked, unsure if he would want to know the answer.

"If the Hatter is going to walk on the table, can you make sure he removes his shoes first? They left marks on his table cloth and it looked very untidy."

Hare giggled and shook his head, ears flopping around a little. "It was really something, wasn't it? I had quite a time convincing him not to do it all week."

June laughed along with him, putting her glasses back on as she gazed across at her son. "Oh, how I've missed moments like this. Why don't we have some warm milk before bed? Like when you were just a little boy."

"I don't think it would hurt," Hare agreed, getting to his feet and leading his mother to the kitchen. He went to the fridge and grabbed the carton of milk as June went to the cupboard to get a couple mugs.

"We used to do this all the time, do you remember?" June asked, gazing at all the cups and mugs in the cupboard. She picked two she rather liked and set them on the table, watching Hare pour the milk into a deep pot over the stove. "Whenever you couldn't sleep I'd make you some warm milk with cinnamon and we'd read books out loud until you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore."

"I remember one night I had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep," Hare said, remembering like it was yesterday, stirring the milk with a wooden spoon. "We sat up reading James and the Giant Carrot and drank through a whole quart of milk. I think we probably read more than half of it before we called it a night."

"That was when you had chicken pox, wasn't it?"

Hare stopped and furrowed his brow, thinking to himself. "No… no, I don't think so."

June rested her elbow on the table and thought for a moment. "Something similar must have happened then. You got really sick one night when you had chicken pox and it was touch and go for a little while there. And I remember you were very offended that you thought an actual chicken had gotten you sick. You had me put away all your chicken toys and were too afraid to touch them for months."

Hare laughed at that. "Oh yeah! I forgot about that. What was the name of my favorite chicken again? The orange one. Do you remember?"

"You had so many, I don't think I could remember. You had Cluck Rogers for a long time. And one you named Burrito... Frittata lasted a while."

Hare smiled, thinking of all the chicken toys he'd had over the years. He continued to stir the milk on the stove until it was nice and hot, carrying the pot to the table and pouring it into the two mugs. After replacing the pot on the stove to cool, he took a seat next to his mother and lifted his mug of milk up, only to realize it had a picture of a dancing hot dog on it.

"Mom where'd you get these cups?" Hare asked, looking at the image on the side of the mug and then across to his mothers. Her's had a cow in a unitard with the words "Let's Moooove" on it.

"They were in the cupboard. Why?" June didn't seem to see any problem as she sipped at her mug of milk, deciding that it might need a touch of cinnamon and going directly to the correct pantry to find some.

"Why didn't you use one of the nice ones on the counter?" he asked, gesturing to the full rack of delicately painted mugs and cups sitting in view.

"Oh… well, because I like these ones. They're cute."

Hare was going to say something but stopped, mouth hanging open a little as he processed what she said. He blinked and furrowed his brow, pointing a finger at his cup as he spoke. "You like these?"

"Well, yes. They're very kitschy, aren't they?" she said as she returned to her seat, sprinkling a little cinnamon into her cup and stirring it with a spoon. "They remind me of a set of bowls I had for you when you were a baby. You'd only eat your mashed carrots out of this bowl that had a clown printed on the bottom and you'd eat and eat until you could see his entire face."

He was completely unmoved by her little story, surprised that she actually liked his little tacky things in his pantry. "I thought you'd think they were too… childish."

"Not at all! I mean, they may be a little garish, but they are very fun," June smiled as she looked at her cup, laughing a little before taking another sip from it. "I saw the plates in your cupboard too of the dancing foods. Those are pretty silly too."

How could he have been so wrong about his mother? Leaning back into his chair, he rested his elbow over the back of the seat, gazing at his Mom across the table. "You don't think they're tacky at all?"

"No, I don't," she replied, brow furrowing a little at how her son was reacting to this news. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"I just…" Hare shrugged, gesturing toward the cups. "I didn't think you'd like them. I had them hidden away because I thought you'd want to use something else."

"Oh…" June looked down at her cup again and chuckled. "You didn't have to go through all the trouble. The pretty ones are very nice, but I like these ones just fine. If they're what you'd rather use then that's what we should use."

Hare scratched his head and reached out, picking up his mug and taking a sip from it. It had cooled a little and he also decided that it needed some cinnamon in it.

"You don't have to change things around for me, son. You know that."

"Well, I know now…" he mumbled behind his mug.

"What other things did you put away? Was there more?" June seemed reinvigorated by this realization that her son had changed things in the house to suit her better. She no longer looked like she was in need of sleep, the milk seemed to have given her a boost of energy.

"Oh, well, not much…" Hare shrugged. "Just some blankets and things. And I hid a lot of my practical joke stuff."

"Why did you think you had to hide all of that from me?" She was starting to look like he had hurt her feelings somehow. Her brows were knitting in the center of her forehead and her shoulders were drooping a little.

"Well, I didn't want to disappoint you, I guess," he replied

"Oh, no, son…" June shook her head, reaching across the table and pushing Hare's bangs away from his eyes in a doting way, like she'd done a million times in his youth. "I'm proud of every little thing you have and do, even when you do mess up."

"Really?" Hare couldn't believe what she was saying. He'd always felt this huge pressure from her, wanting to impress her and make her proud, but he always assumed that meant that he had to be perfect all the time. In both the things he did and what he owned.

"Yes, really. You're my son, the best thing that ever came into my life. And I know I have been harsh and pushed you too hard, but that's because I wanted you to succeed and be happy. And if that means you want to be with a crazy tall man in a big hat and have ridiculous designs on your tableware, that's alright with me."

Hare thought back to all the work he'd done over the past week, worrying about what she'd think about his house and everything contained within it and felt like he had been stressing for nothing. Just like both the Hatter and Caterpillar told him all along.

"Thanks, Mom…" was all Hare could manage, hiding sheepishly behind his mug of now lukewarm milk.

"Now, why don't you show me some of the other things you managed to hide away from me?" June teased.

It was 9 o'clock on the dot when Hatter arrived on the Hare's doorstep holding a pink box of hot cross buns he'd picked up from the Wonderland Bakery. He dusted himself off and straightened his cap before knocking on the door.

"It's open!" came a voice from inside.

Hatter pushed the door inward and entered the house, the smell of freshly baked biscuits and sausage hitting him in the face.

"Yum! Smells scrummy in here!" he announced as he walked through the entryway and to the kitchen. He found them by the stove, both wearing aprons and looking bright and cheery. Hare had flour on his face and down his right side, while June looked spotless.

"Thanks!" Hare said, flashing Hatter the first carefree smile he'd seen on his face the whole weekend. "What's in the box?"

"Hot cross buns," Hatter said, placing the pink carton on the table next to the bouquet of pansies Hare had picked from his garden for his mother two days before and joining the pair by the stove.

"They're his favorite," Hare told his mother, who nodded.

Hatter stood over them with his hands clasped behind his back, craning his neck to see what was going on over the stove. He saw a large skillet with sausage crumbles and gravy cooking in it, bubbling away deliciously. "How's everything going over here?"

"You should ask him," June said, giving her son a gentle nudge. "He'll give an honest answer."

"Okay, okay. Here, Hatter, give this a taste…" Hare said, offering a spoonful of the off-white gravy to the Hatter, who smacked his lips at it.

"Mmmm!" His expression brightened and he nodded. "Not bad! Maybe a little more pepper and I think you're good to go."

"That's what I said! Isn't that what I said?" June exclaimed, reaching for the pepper grinder and adding a few generous turns of the knob.

"Yes, Mom, that's what you said…" Hare rolled his eyes and shrugged at his partner.

"How long have you both been up? You have an awful lot of energy for so early in the morning."

"Only about an hour," Hare shrugged, wiping his hands off on his apron.

"We did start the morning off with coffee, that helps!" June added, giving the gravy one final stir before turning the heat off and letting it rest for a few moments, taking the fresh biscuits out of the oven.

"What tea would you like?" Hare whispered to the Hatter after sneaking in a smooch on the cheek.

"Anything you have will do, I'm not picky," Hatter replied with a smile, before Hare rushed to get a kettle on the boil.

The energy in the kitchen was really fantastic and Hatter eventually just had to step back and let the Hare's have the run of it. He took a seat at the table and watched them zoom around like a well oiled machine, never getting in the other's way and always being in the right place at the right time. Even though they hadn't worked together in a kitchen for years, they still knew how to do it.

Looking around, Hatter noticed that all of the fancy dishware had been put away and the settings were all the Kitchen Kabaret set. All the punny mugs were also set out and on display. Hatter caught the Hare's glance for a moment and raised his eyebrows in confusion and surprise, holding up a mug that had a picture of a crustacean on it with the words "Don't Be Crabby, Just Have Coffee" on it. Hare gave him a smile and a wink and that was all he needed to know. He had been right after all.

It didn't take long before the table was set, Earl Grey was poured and everyone had a full plate of biscuits and gravy in front of them. They also had some fresh fruit salad and the hot cross buns to round out the meal.

Hatter really enjoyed the food, going back for seconds as soon as he cleaned his plate. "June this really is delicious," he commended halfway through his second plate. "Hare, why don't you cook meals like this?"

Hare rolled his eyes a little as June smiled at the Hatter. "Thank you, Hatter. I'm glad that you like it. It's one of my best recipes, if I do say so myself."

"Hare, you should ask for this recipe. It's good."

"I have it in the orange books we used the other day, Hatter," Hare replied, munching on some strawberries.

"Oh…" Hatter paused and tore off a piece of a hot cross bun and plopped it into his mouth. "Well, maybe we should keep those books at my place then. Maybe we'll use them more often if they live there now."

"Oh, uh…" Hare looked at his mother nervously. He knew that if the books stayed at the Hatter's they'd get lost in a matter of days. "I think maybe I'll have copies made for you."

"Righty roo!" he exclaimed, taking a sip from his tea.

"Do you stay at the Hatter's house mostly?" June asked curiously.

"Oh, yes," Hare nodded. "There's always a lot going on at the Hat house, so we spend most of our time there. We're always entertaining guests or making things… we don't come to my house very much at all, to be honest."

Hatter flattened his lips and nodded. "I think this is the most time I've spent here in the past two months. We might need to change that though, if it means more home cooked meals like this."

"Hatter, I can cook you more meals at your house," Hare replied, exasperated. "You just need to let me take charge in the kitchen."

"But it's my kitchen!" Hatter shouted, not the least bit angry but actually excited. "My house, my rules."

June hid her mouth behind her hands and chuckled, watching them bicker a little. She found it charming and couldn't help but enjoy the interaction.

"I'm not going to argue over this," Hare said, shaking his head as he started packing up the dishes and moving them to the sink. "You want me to cook for you, you'll have to let me take charge."

Hatter pouted playfully and pointed at him with a gloved finger. "Has he always been like this?"

"March has always been a little on the stubborn side, when he knows what he wants," she said with a wink. "I think sometimes it's best to just give in."

He considered this, so many thoughts running through his mind but none he would say out loud with June in the room.

"I guess I'll have to think about it," he replied.

The rest of the morning went by quickly and before they knew it, it was 11:30 and time to leave for the train station. Hatter and Hare carried all of June's luggage on the short walk, leaving June's arms free to carry her purse and the pansies the Hare had picked for her. He gave her a fresh bouquet to take and enjoy on the train ride, wrapping the stems in a wet rag and a plastic bag to keep them fresh until she arrived at her destination tomorrow.

The train had just pulled up to the platform by the time they got to the station. For once it was running early, so they had a little bit of time before she'd have to board and be on her way.

"Well, this has been one of the funnest weekends I've had in a very long while," June said, trying to hide the fact that she had started to cry a little on the walk over. The thought of leaving them broke her heart and, while she was excited to see her sister again, she could also do with staying the rest of the week with her son and his friends. She had her handkerchief in her hand and kept dabbing at her eyes and nose.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Hatter beamed, feeling mostly responsible for the good time she'd had. This probably wasn't true, but it was the honest truth to him. "We'll have to do this again soon, June. Before too much time has passed."

"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed excitedly, clasping her hands together. "We'll spend more time with just the three of us. Maybe we'll have a spa day."

"Ooh, a spa day!?" Hatter boomed, looking at Hare happily. Hare obviously wasn't thrilled with the idea, but forced a smile and nodded.

"Yes, that would be… fun," he managed with a lighthearted chuckle.

"Oh, and son, one more thing before I go," she put a finger to her cheek and she spoke nervously. "I wanted to know if you could possibly give me the Rabbit's number. I think I'd like to call upon him sometime."

Both Hare and Hatter's jaws gaped a little, Hare's face going green. "Oh, no… Mom, I will not do that."

June could only keep the ruse up for so long, before she waved a hand at the two of them and laughed. "I'm only kidding dear. He's much too old for me. I don't know if he knows how to have a little fun."

Hatter and Hare exchanged a glance, not daring to say a word to one another. For a second, Hare thought he was going to faint. Hatter thought he'd be able to tease Hare by calling Rabbit "Papa Rabbit" from now on.

The train whistle blew, making the three of them jump, signaling that the train was ready to begin boarding. It was time to say their goodbyes.

"Now, you take care of my boy, you hear me?" June said as she turned and looked up at Hatter. She had a serious expression on her face but there was a tenderness in her eyes as she shook a finger at him.

Hatter smiled widely and nodded, putting a hand on Hare's shoulder as he spoke. "You don't have a thing to worry about, June. You're leaving him in very capable hands. Why, I'd never forgive myself if something were to happen to the Hare."

June's expression broke and she smiled widely, reaching up with her hands and cupping the Hatter's face. She pulled him down closer to him and kissed either side of his mug, giving him a pat before letting him go. His face was pink as he stood upright, chest puffing with pride. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Hare wipe a tear from beneath his glasses.

"I will be keeping tabs on you, so don't you get into too much trouble," June added to the Hatter, straightening his jacket a little and giving him an approving smile. "Don't make me come back here and have to mother you."

Hatter beamed and looked up to the sky, cheeks rosy. "Oh, June… you're such a card!"

The whistle blew again and the three exchanged a glance, knowing it was time for her to board the train. Smiling, she reached out and embraced the Hatter, giving him a warm hug. Hatter returned the hug sweetly, patting her back. "It was lovely meeting you June," he said in an oddly serious tone. "I'll take good care of him for you."

She smiled and nodded, a tear running down her cheek which she brushed away hurriedly. "Thank you, Hatter," she managed to mutter, giving him another peck on the cheek and tap on the shoulder before turning to her son.

"I'll help you stow your luggage inside," Hare offered, following his mother onto the train carriage. Hatter stuck behind on the platform and took a seat on the bench, waiting for his friend to return, wanting to give them some privacy in their last moments together.

They made their way to June's compartment and he helped his mother put her luggage away, a short man with a paper hat walking up and asking for her ticket. She gave it to him and he looked it over, nodding at it after a few moments before returning it to her. Once the luggage was put away, the pair stood in the compartment awkwardly, not entirely sure what to say.

"Now, you give me a call when you're settled at Aunt May's, okay Ma?" Hare told her, a touch of concern in his voice.

"I will, son, don't worry," she said, reaching out and straightening his bow-tie one last time. She also pushed his bangs away from his eyes again. "The Hinterlands isn't so far away, I should get there by tomorrow morning."

"Well, still… I'd like to know that you got there safe."

"I promise that I'll call you the moment I get settled there," she reassured him. "Now give your old Ma one last hug for the road, hmm?" She held her arms open to him a little, welcoming his embrace.

Hare nodded and engulfed his mother in one last, long, warm hug. She held onto him and smiled, burrowing her nose in his neck as they held one another. She felt another tear come to her eye and she wiped it away before her son could see. He had been missing from her arms for so long, the thought that she didn't know when they would be in the same room again made her heart hurt. She felt his hand rub her back as she held onto him for longer than she'd probably meant to, pulling away and looking at her son with all the love in the world in her eyes. "I love you, sonny. And I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Mom," Hare cooed, reaching out and wiping some smeared mascara from her cheek with his thumb. "But we'll see each other soon. We won't let this much time pass again, okay?"

She sniffled in spite of herself and nodded, clearing her throat and shaking her head, forcing a strong smile. "Look at me, I'm acting like a child…" she muttered, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief one final time before composing herself. They looked at each other once more, before the final train whistle blew. "Okay, you'd better go if you don't want to go all the way to the Hinterlands with me."

Hare paused at the compartment door and looked at his mother, a loving smile on his face. "I love you, Mom. Have a safe trip."

"Thank you, son," she said with a short wave.

And, with that, Hare turned away from his mother and made for the exit of the train. He was feeling an odd mixture of emotions. Relief and sadness all rolled up into one. Seeing his mother so emotional was difficult for him, but not something he didn't expect to happen. He was more surprised to find that after the lovely morning they'd had together, he was actually really going to miss his Mom. Composing himself at the train door for a moment, he exited to find Hatter on the bench eating a cupcake.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked, pointing at it.

"Oh, this?" Hatter asked, before taking another bite from it. "Someone gave it to me. Said I had a sweet face that needed to get sweeter."

Hare furrowed his brow and looked around the platform, seeing that the Hatter was completely alone, and yet still decided not to question it further. The tall man devoured the rest of the sweet snicky snack and tossed the paper trash in the bin, before leaving the train station.

"That wasn't so bad…" The Hatter said as they walked back to the Hat house from the train station. He had his arm draped over the Hare's shoulder, who had his arm around the Hatter's waist as they walked. "We should invite your mother over more often."

Hare rolled his eyes a little, his knees going weak for a moment. "I love my mother, but I don't think I could have taken another day with her. She's just too much work."

"I don't think it was as bad as all that…" Hatter shrugged. "I think maybe you blew things out of proportion a little. She didn't seem nearly as bad as you'd made her out to be."

"Perhaps…" Hare nodded. He knew he was inclined to make a big deal out of nothing when dealing with both good and bad situations. And, in all honesty, she wasn't as bad as he remembered. "I think maybe she's mellowed with her age."

"Why'd you have the sudden change of heart with your stuff? I noticed your cups and plates were back out, so were your pastel blankets."

"She said they were kitschy?" Hare shrugged. "I guess she found a charm in them."

"I suppose you'll enjoy the quiet now that she's gone?" Hatter tilting his head a little, looking down at the Hare with a grin.

"I'm just excited to get things back to normal," Hare said with a wave of his free hand.

"So… wanna go prank call the palace?"

"Do I?" the Hare giggled, ears perking as he raced the Hatter home.