#i guess what i'm saying is don't be afraid if you can't express yourself like a “true native speaker”

[taexual]

Do you also read fanfictions? I am writing one but since English is not my mother language, I am afraid to actually post it lmao. Could you read? See if there's any grammar mistakes and if it flows naturally as it should. But if you cant, dont worry. I totally understand

hii, i don't really do beta reading/editing, sorry!! i can suggest some helpful tools, though, such as grammarly or instatext -- i've used both myself, and they're great! instatext requires a subscription, but you get a free trial period and can edit small portions of text for free every day

and if you think you'd prefer a person to read through it for you, you can always make a public post on tumblr, and ask if anyone would be interested!!!

regardless, have confidence, love!!! you're doing great 🤍🤍🤍

[bingbongsupremacy]

Time Flies

Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Warning: Y/N use, swearing, rejection, ghosting

Summary: You've had a crush on your best friend Eddie for a while. Eddie tells you he's leaving Hawkins, and you accidentally confess your love for him. Will this change things between the two of you, or will you find a way to work past your feelings and his lack thereof.

*Not Proof Read*

Pt.2

□□□□□□□

I always knew Eddie was going to make it big. He's a talented man in a group of talented guys. Of course, they were going to make it big. It just surprised me how quickly things evolved.

"What do you mean you're leaving tomorrow?" I ask, my brows furrowing in confusion. I stare at the boy next to me.

We're sitting on the floor with our backs against his bed. Moments ago, we had been flipping through the latest issues of music magazines when he suddenly sprang the news on me.

"You remember how we sent that demo to a bunch of the labels in Indy?" Eddie asks, setting his magazine to the side. He turns slightly to face me. His dark eyes are wide with excitement. A large, genuine smile is plastered on his face. "One of the labels wants to meet us and hear more of our stuff in person. They said they want to talk numbers." Eddie continues. "They set us up for a last-minute appointment on Thursday morning. The boys and I decided it would be less stressful if we head to Indy tomorrow so we have time to settle in at a hotel."

My heart drops. I should be excited. Part of me is. The other part is sad.

This means Eddie's leaving.

"You can't." I blurt out without thinking.

The smile on Eddie's face begins to fade. His excited expression is replaced by one of confusion. "What? Why not? Y/N, don't you realize how huge this is for me? For the boys? For our career? Everything we've worked for is paying off."

"So you're just going to leave like that?"

"Why are you being like this? You've always supported me. I thought you'd be happier. What's your problem? Why are you so upset?" Eddie asks.

"Because you're leaving, Eddie. Within 24 hours, you'll be out of here. And because I like you, and now you're leaving." I ramble, unintentionally outing my crush on the boy.

My eyes widen when I realize what I said. "Fuck." I mutter while biting down harshly on my lip in desperation.

Sympathy flashes in Eddie's eyes. "You like me?" His voice is quieter then moments before, like he's trying to accept my words.

"Yeah Eddie. I do." I let out a small sigh, pulling my eyes from his face. I feel heat burning on my cheeks. I hadn't meant to tell him how I felt. It just slipped out.

Eddie lets out a small sigh. "Y/N..."

I feel my heart pounding nervously in my chest. My anxiety builds as I wait for him to continue.

"I'm sorry, but I don't like you like that. You're an amazing friend- hell, my best friend, but...I don't feel the same way." His words shatter my heart into a million pieces.

We sit in a moment of silence as I slowly accept his rejection.

This is what I was afraid of. This is why I kept my feelings a secret for years. I knew he wouldn't like me back. I knew I wasn't his type. I just made this situation ten times worse.

My face is hotter than before. I just want to get out of here. I feel so embarrassed. I should've kept my mouth shut.

Why did I tell him?

I guess maybe some part of my mind thought he'd feel the same. That maybe he'd take me with him or find a way to stay with me.

How selfish is that? I need to snap out of this. This is everything he's dreamed of. He's got a deal with a label. His band is making it big. He's going to be a rockstar, just like the stars he's looked up to his entire life. Who am I to ask him to stay behind-to give that all up for me.

"I don't mean to hurt you." Eddie says softly.

I can see his face out of the corner of my eye. His dark brown eyes are filled with sympathy and maybe a little pity.

I just want the earth to swallow me whole. "It's fine. You can't force yourself to like me back, Eds. I wouldn't want you to do anything you don't want to do." I reply softly.

As much as my heart is broken at the fact that he doesn't like me and likely never will, he's still my best friend. I just hope I didn't screw everything up by telling him. I hope things aren't awkward between us.

"Is that the reason you wanted me to stay in town so bad?" Eddie asks.

"I was mostly just hurt that you let me know so late. I mean, you're leaving tomorrow, Ed. No warning, no time to process. We literally spent hours on a new campaign last week, and we're not going to get to play. Why would you make plans with me if you knew you were leaving so soon?" My frustration from before bubbles in my chest at the thought of being left behind by the boy I trust so much.

Eddie lets out a small sigh. He leans his head back against his bed. "I just found out a few hours ago. You're the first person I've told. I haven't even told Uncle Wayne yet."

He told me first.

"I just want you to be happy for me, Y/N. This is everything I've ever wanted and now I feel like a shitty person for trying to actually attain it." Eddie's voice is quiet.

I hadn't meant to make him feel like that. "I am happy for you, Eddie. I just need to process it. I mean, you'd probably feel the same way if I told you I was moving to Indy for college and gave you a day's notice. I can't just pretend it's not going to hurt when you leave." This day has been a rollercoaster of emotions. "You know I'm going to support you no matter what. This is your dream and you need to follow it."

"Thanks, Y/N."

"Of course. Just make sure to remember me when you're famous. Send me an album or postcard every once in a while, alright?" I try to lighten the mood in the tense room.

Eddie chuckles. "You know I'm going to come back, right? I can't ditch my uncle like that, not after everything he's done for me. You can't get rid of me that easily."

I smile softly, grateful things are semi similar to before. Maybe things will stay normal.

"Eddie, can we just forget about what I said earlier? I really don't want things to be weird between us." I ask cautiously, nervous as to what he'll say.

Eddie nods. "Don't worry, forgotten." Eddie gestures to his pile of VHS tapes near his TV. "Let's make the most of the time we have left. Wanna watch a movie?"

I nod. "Yeah. Let's do it."

The rest of the evening, Eddie and I spend time together watching movies, eating junk food, and hanging out. At first, I thought everything really was normal. Eddie eventually went back to his playful, dramatic self after the movie began. We went back to talking about anything and everything, just like before.

I didn't realize he was acting a little strange until it was time for me to leave. Usually, Eddie is a physically affectionate person. He likes wrapping his arm around the shoulders of his friends. He's not scared to hug the people he cares about. He used to put his head in my lap.

Before I leave, Eddie always hugs me. It's just something we've always done since we were kids. He didn't this time. I also realized he kept a decent size of distance between the two of us throughout the entire night.

He might not say my confession made him uncomfortable, but I know it did. He's holding me at an arm's length, keeping things surface level instead of deeper like they were before.

Maybe he's just trying to protect me. Maybe he's trying to prevent me from feeling lead on.

=====

The next day Eddie left for Indianapolis. I watched as his car pulled away, my heart breaking more the further he got.

It's not just pain from losing a crush. Eddie's a good guy. I've known him forever, and now he's just gone. I have to call him if I want to talk to him, something that's going to be difficult if he's constantly moving through cities on tour. Hell, it'll be harder when he starts going to different countries. We won't have our weekly movie nights or DND campaigns.

I feel so alone, and usually when I feel like that, I call up Eddie and ask him to come over. I can't do that anymore.

Eddie's van disappears around the corner of the street, leaving me and Wayne standing in the yard of the trailer.

"He'll be back," Wayne reassures me, softly patting me on the shoulder. "And you're welcome here anytime you want, kid. I could use the company now that my boy's gone." Wayne's tone holds sadness, something I relate to.

"Thanks, Wayne." I smile sadly at the older man. "I'll have to take you up on that offer. I have a feeling I'm going to need some company too."

Wayne and I say our goodbyes before I begin walking down the road in the direction of my house. He offered to drive me there, but I refused. I need some air to process everything.

I know Eddie said he'll be back, but I wonder if he'll keep his word. Indy has so much more to offer than Hawkins. Who would want to leave? When he starts making a lot, he won't have to be confined to Indiana. He can move wherever he wants.

It would be so easy to forget us here.

---- 3 years later----

Eddie kept his word at first. He got settled in Indy and came back a few times to visit. He was still distant, but at least he was in my life.

The first year he sent me a copy of his album, signed and all. He sent post cards from everywhere he visited and made sure to call at least once a week.

Things started to change in the second year. His weekly calls became biweekly and eventually monthly events. He and the boys were busy, though. I understood.

Gareth, Jeff, and Freak called monthly, too. While I wasn't as close to them as I was with Eddie, they were still my friends. They told me about their campaigns and the cool things they experienced. They also told me about Eddie's new girlfriend.

I thought being apart from Eddie would make my crush disappear. That wasn't the case. That's why hearing the news that Eddie got a girlfriend broke my heart all over again.

What hurt worse is he didn't even tell me himself. The two had been secretly dating for at least half a year by the time Gareth brought it up into the conversation, thinking I had already been told by Eddie.

That month, when Eddie called, I told him I knew about his girlfriend and I was happy for him. As much as it made my heart ache, I was happy he found someone he could love and who hopefully treated him right.

He deserved to be treated well.

Eddie told me he didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me he was seeing someone. He figured keeping it under wraps would save me the heartbreak and keep a smaller number of people who knew about their relationship.

It hurt to know he had never planned on telling me. From a best friend standpoint, it felt like he was slowly closing me out of his life.

Shortly after that conversation, all calls from Eddie ended. He rarely sent postcards, and if he did, he didn't bother to write anything on them besides his name. He stopped telling me when he was coming to town.

I tried to make excuses.

He's famous now. His face is plastered on newspapers and magazines around the country. He's got more important things to do than call me.

He'll call when he has time, he's just really busy right now.

When I asked why Eddie didn't call anymore, Jeff told me that his girlfriend wasn't happy with him talking to other girls. It wasn't because of me personally. She just didn't like him interacting with any girls at all.

I just wish Eddie would've told me himself. I wish he would've sent me a letter or called one last time to explain the situation. I respect his relationship and I would've left him alone if he had just told me what was going on. I didn't tell Jeff this.

Eventually, the only information I got about Eddie was from Magazine covers, sometimes the boys, or occasionally Wayne, when I stopped to visit him.

Yeah, I was mad he just ditched me, something he promised he'd never do. But I was mostly hurt.

The reality is Eddie's a rockstar and I'm just a girl from Hawkins, Indiana. He's outgrown Hawkins, and he's outgrown me.

I just wish my heart would accept that.

---

[abiatackerman]

Could I make a request if it's not too much? I was hoping you could write something where Levi defends you from being assaulted it would help me a lot to get over some things but I understand if it's too much keep up the great writing!

Hello sweetie! Thank you for requesting! You didn't specify how the reader would get assaulted so I wrote in my way! Hope you'll like it!

Safe in his arms

⚔️Levi Ackerman x Female Reader ⚔️

⚠️Mentions of physical violence and harassment⚠️

Canon universe! Captain Levi Ackerman X Female Reader! Overprotectiveness! Argument! Make-up! 2.1k words!

Summary: After a heated argument, you storm off, only to be cornered by a drunken man. Just as fear sets in, Levi arrives—furious and relentless.

Tags: @theremainsof @spouseofleviackerman @levisbrat25 @itsnathateasy @violentvaleska @dreamerofthewest @meowmewow7 @mikabella7 @satorella @sugacor3 @darkstarlight82 @derealizationns @happygiverbluebird

🩷If you wanna be tagged let me know🩷

✨Masterlist✨

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

The barracks are quiet right now, save for the distant murmur of soldiers finishing their nightly routines. But the tension inside your room feels suffocating. The air inside is thick with tension, heated by an argument you barely remember starting. You and Levi are standing inches apart, locked in a battle of sharp words and stubborn silence.

"You're not going."

You stiffen but don't turn around. You had expected this.

Levi is standing by the doorway, arms crossed, posture rigid. His sharp gaze is locked onto you like a command.

"It's too dangerous."

A slow breath leaves your lips as you tug your satchel over your shoulder.

"I know the roads, Levi. I grew up there."

"I don't care," he snaps. "It's the middle of the damn night. Do you have any idea what kind of shit lurks out there?"

You turn to face him now, frustration simmering beneath your skin. " That's why I'm taking a carriage! Also I can handle myself."

Levi's expression darkens. "Tch. That's what I'm afraid of."

You exhale sharply, already knowing where this is going. He has always been overprotective, but this—this felt different. More annoying.

"I don't need you to babysit me," you mutter.

"You think this is about babysitting?" His raises his voice slightly, something rare for him. "It's about not being a reckless idiot. You have no idea what could happen if you—"

You cut him off. "So what? I should just sit here and wait for permission like some helpless girl? You know Levi, my mom is sick! I'm worried!"

Levi's jaw tightens. "That's why I'm saying I'll take you there myself tomorrow morning. Erwin haven't given you the permission to go either. So you can't leave!"

"So what? I can just leave right now and then I'll apologise to Erwin later!" You step closer, anger flaring as your voice raises. "Why do you always act like I can't do anything without you watching over me?"

Silence stretches between you, heavy and charged. Then, Levi's expression shifts as his features hardens-

"Because you're weak."

The words slammed into you like a punch to the gut.

You know it too that you're weak. Compared to him. But that doesn't mean you're so weak that you can't even go to somewhere far just because it's the middle of night. It's too much.

And just to make the situation worse, Levi doesn't stop.

"You don't think. You just act. And one day, that's going to get you killed." His tone is sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. "Maybe I should stop wasting my time worrying about you."

You swallow the tightness in your throat, forcing yourself to keep your voice steady.

"If that's how you see me, then I guess there's nothing left to say."

You step past him with your suitcase, your shoulder brushing against his as you walk out.

"Tch. Do whatever you want."

That was the last thing he said before turning his back to you.

And it stung.

You storm out, desperate for air, for distance—anything to stop your chest from aching like this. The streets of the district are quiet at this hour, save for the occasional patrol. The cool night air does little to ease the tightness in your chest as you quicken your pace, your destination set.

A dimly lit tavern comes into view, the flickering lanterns casting long shadows on the worn wooden walls. This isn't just any stop—it's where you need to collect medicine for your mother. From here, you'll catch a carriage that will take you home.

Letting out a quiet sigh, you push open the heavy door. The scent of alcohol and smoke envelops you immediately, thick and cloying. The low hum of conversation barely registers as you make your way to the counter.

Sliding the list of medicines across the worn wooden surface, you glance up at the tavern keeper. He takes it with a nod, scanning the contents before speaking. "Give me a moment. I'll get these for you."

You nod in response, shifting your weight as you glance around. Your eyes land on the large clock mounted on the wall. There's still time before the carriage arrives.

With another quiet sigh, you decide to order a juice, hoping it will help settle your nerves—even if just a little.

"You shouldn't be alone, y'know," a voice slurs beside you.

You stiffen. A man reeking of alcohol leans too close, his bloodshot eyes scanning you in a way that made your stomach twist.

"You lost, sweetheart?" He grins, his teeth yellowed and uneven. "I can keep you company."

You kept your expression blank. "Not interested."

"Aww, don't be like that." His starts to brush his fingers against your arm up and down, slow and deliberate.

You pull away. "I said no."

But he wasn't listening. His hand clamps down on your wrist as the another grips your thigh, fingers digging into your skin. Your heart pounds as you try to yank yourself free.

But you're too tired. After the busy day and the argument... You're too tired!

"You're actin' like you got a choice," the drunk man sneers feeling your tiredness, yanking you toward him.

Suddenly there's a scrape of a chair. A shadow moved.

Then, a loud crack.

The man's head snaps to the side as he crashes onto the floor.

A hush falls over the tavern. The few patrons lingering in the room shrink back, whispering amongst themselves.

Levi stands over the crumpled man, his fist still clenched. His knuckles are already bruised, his chest rising and falling in steady, controlled breaths. But his eyes—his eyes are anything but calm. They burn with something dark, something lethal.

The drunk man groans, rolling onto his hands and knees, but Levi dosen't give him the chance to recover. He grabs him by the collar, lifting him just enough to slam his fist into his gut. A strangled gasp left the man's lips as he crumples again.

"You fucking bastard," Levi mutters, his voice low and sharp. A chill runs down to your spine because you can tell by his voice that he's furious.

Another punch.

The man coughs, spitting blood onto the floorboards. But Levi dosen't stop. He grabs a handful of his hair, yanking his head back.

"You think you can touch her and walk away? What were you planning to do with her, huh?" Levi's voice was dangerously calm, almost detached. His grip tightens. "I should kill you right here."

His fist reels back.

"Levi."

Your voice barely wavers, but it is enough to make him pause. His chest is still heaving, his fingers still curled into a fist, but something in his expression shifts.

He looks at you.

And for a moment, it felt like the whole world has gone silent.

"That's enough," you whisper, stepping closer. You reach for his hand—the same hand that has just shattered the bastard's nose—and cover it with your own.

Levi exhales sharply through his nose. His body is still tense, but after a few seconds, his grip loosens. He let the man collapse onto the floor, unconscious.

His attention shifts fully to you now, his gaze scanning you for any sign of injury. "Are you hurt?"

You shake your head. "Just shaken."

Levi's eyes darkens, and his fingers twitched like he is resisting the urge to turn back and break the man's ribs. But instead, he reaches for your hand, the same way you had reached for his. His touch is firm, grounding.

"You scared the hell out of me," he mutters. "So I followed you to make sure you make it to the carriage safely but-" He looks at the unconscious drunk man and clicks his tongue again.

"I'm sorry."

That's all you could just say.

Levi scoffs as the tavern keeper comes back with the medicine and apologises for the mess. Sighing you take the medicine and walk out with Levi before he can even start to give the keeper a piece of his mind.

"Thanks for coming levi." You say in a soft-grateful voice as you hand levi a tissue to clean his hand.

"Idiot. Of course, I did. I had to make sure you got into the carraige safely." He says as he wipes off the blood with an irritated expression on his face.

"Tch, filthy-"

You smile at his adorable irritation and slowly you step closer, resting your forehead against his. He stiffens at first—Levi isn't one for public displays of affection—but after a second, you feel his arms wrap around you, one hand slipping to the small of your back, the other curling into your hair.

"You smell like alcohol," he mutters against your cheek.

You huff a laugh. "You smell like blood."

His grip tightens, his lips ghosting against the top of your head. "Next time you're mad at me," he says, voice quieter now, "just punch me instead of running off."

You smile and meet his gaze, your hands gripping the front of his jacket. "Maybe I will."

His eyes softens. Then, with a quiet sigh, he leans in. His lips brushes against your forehead—slow, lingering.

"Let's go home," he murmurs.

And this time, when he leads you away, you followed without hesitation.

[slayfics]

Katsuki gets caught being sweet to you.

You started to finally catch your breath being at the top of the hiking trail Katsuki had dragged you out too.

"Alright there, it's just us up here so tell me already. What the hell has been going on?"

"That's why you brought me out here?" You asked.

"Just tell me already, stop being so damn stubborn." He pried you impatiently.

"I told you I'm fine Bakugo, just busy like everyone else." You replied.

"Don't give me that shit. Do you think I'm stupid? The other extras are too dense to notice but I can see how exhausted you've been this whole week. So just tell me- what's going on," He said.

"You didn't need to drag me out here on a hike in freezing weather to do this, you know," You said, slightly irritated at Katsuki continuing to push you.

"Ugh- will you stop stalling and talk already," He yelled, causing you to let out an annoyed sigh. Katsuki put his hands in his pockets and looked out at the view, his demeanor softening slightly. "You can talk to me, you know," he added, his voice lower and kinder than before.

You stayed looking at the view for a few more moments trying to figure out how to unpack everything that had been stressing you out. It wasn't like some big thing, but a summation of a bunch of little things that were beginning to become too challenging to manage.

A cold breeze blew by causing you to shiver. You wondered why Katsuki had insisted on bringing you up this mountain to talk to you. He could have pestered you in your dorm where it was warm.

Katsuki stole glances at you occasionally then focused back on the view not wanting to intimidate you too much from his glare. Hiking always helped him to clear his mind and gather his thoughts when they seemed too loud. He thought maybe it would help you too, and being away from all your classmates might make it easier for you to talk to him. At the very least it made it easier for Katsuki to be more vulnerable with you. He found it too daunting to express himself fully with all the attention of his classmates around. It was much easier being only in your company.

You took a deep breath, "I guess- it's just been hard to balance everything recently," You finally spoke, breaking the silence. Katsuki made it easy to open up to, as he had no problem sitting in silence for long extended periods. Others in your life felt the need to fill that silence with useless chatter which always prevented you from sitting in your emotions and being able to formulate them into words.

You took in another breath feeling a lump in your throat form. You hadn't wanted to talk to anyone about what was going on for fear of opening up the flood of emotions and not being able to stop. Now here it was. You didn't want to cry on this fucking hill.

Katsuki patiently waited while you gathered your thoughts.

"It's just been so much and I've been barely keeping up. It's- been getting to me recently. I've been forgetting things I shouldn't. Being unusually upset at things that aren't that big of a deal- and I just- it's dumb." You cut yourself off afraid to say anymore.

"It's not dumb. Don't hold that shit in, it's not healthy," He said encouraging you to keep talking.

You sighed, "I just... know that it could be way worse, and I've been through way worse so- I feel so irritated at myself. What I'm going through now isn't something I can't handle. I know that. So why do I feel so fucking exhausted with everything," You replied wiping a stray tear from your cheek.

"Hmm," Katsuki grunted, processing what you said. "You know, it's ok to be tired, and- to not be perfect. You can't just deny yourself from feeling overwhelmed because it could be worse. If you're exhausted now then those feelings are real- and it's ok to have them," He spoke.

You looked down at the view watching the distant cars pass, "Thanks," You managed to say taking another deep breath.

"You shouldn't wait to handle them until they explode either. Trust me, I know what that's like," He said, causing you to let out a small giggle. "You're too damn hard on yourself you know that?"

You let out a full laugh, "Oh that's pretty good coming from you. You're the pro at having too high expectations for yourself," you laughed.

You and Katsuki were wrapped up in your conversation causing you not to notice approaching classmates in the distance. Mina and Eijiro had also decided to come up the hill after class and spotted both of you in the distance.

"That looks like we shouldn't interrupt," Eijiro said.

"Yeah," Mina agreed. "But maybe... we could get a little closer to make sure everything is ok?" She said, pulling Eijiro into the bushes to spy on you and Katsuki. Eijiro was highly against the plan but was unable to protest for fear of you two hearing.

"Yeah I know I have high expectations for myself... that's why I know what it fucking looks like when you're being too hard on yourself. So- tonight I'm coming to your dorm and, I'm making sure you get to bed at a reasonable fucking time."

Mina's eyes widened as she looked at Eijiro, "Coming to their dorm?!" She whispered, and Eijrio covered her mouth, silencing her.

"You mean Grandpa time at 9 p.m.?"

"Shut up! 9 p.m. is late as hell! You damn idiots just don't know how to have a good sleep schedule! Look I'm making sure you get some sleep and tomorrow I'm taking you out. So- figure out where you want to eat, I don't care where. And I'm not letting you say no you need a break," Katsuki replied.

"You don't have to do that Bakugo."

"Of course, I don't have to but, I want to. So just shut up and let me take care of you ok. You better not be afraid to order enough food this time either! I'm buying so- just get whatever you want, alright?"

"Ok ok," You laughed, feeling your mood brighten.

"Next time, just tell me when you're having a bad day or something. Stop making me drag it out of you. I- worry about you, you know? Now let's go back to the dorms. I see you shivering," He said, beginning to walk back down the hill.

Mina squirmed again under Eijiro's hand, keeping her silent. Her eyes said it all. She was in disbelief at Katsuki's words.

"Here," Katsuki said, holding his hand out and offering it to you. "I'll warm your hand with my quirk," he said.

You grabbed his hand interlacing your fingers with his.

"Don't dare say anything about how sweaty my hands are!" He barked.

You giggled, "How many times do I have to tell you I don't care Bakugo. It's part of your quirk, and your quirk is amazing you shouldn't be self-conscious about it. Besides, I'm always happy to hold your hand," You said as you two walked down the mountain.

"Tch whatever," Katsuki grumbled looking away from you as a small tint grew on his cheeks.

Finally, when you and Katsuki were far enough down the hill, Eijiro released Mina.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!?" Mina exclaimed.

"Shh shhh," Eijiro pleaded.

"WHAT- He wants to take care of them?!? OH MY GOD! They are totally dating right?! That's what he said he's taking them out to eat! And he's sneaking into their dorm! Wait wait- when they held hands it sounded like that had before! AND AND BAKUGO WAS TOTALLY BLUSHING! NO WAY!" Mina said looking like she might pass out from all this information.

"Ashido relax, we shouldn't have heard any of that!" Eijiro replied.

"Yeah but but-" Mina exclaimed, her head spinning. "Who knew Baklugo could actually be so sweet! I can't wait to tell Jiro-" She said, pulling out her phone.

"NO!" Eijiro said, grabbing her phone from her. "Uh- sorry, I didn't mean to be so harsh but- you can't tell anyone what we heard ok?" Eijiro said.

"WHAT?! I just heard Bakugo being the sweetest boyfriend ever and you expect me not to say anything about that?!"

"YES!" Eijiro yelled. "Look they both like their privacy and there is a reason they were all the way up here talking, Ashido. I think we should keep this a secret and let them do things at their own pace ok?" He said, handing Mina back her phone.

"UGH-" She exclaimed letting out a big sigh. "I guess you're right... but wow who would have thought Bakugo could be a decent person much less a good boyfriend." She said.

Eijiro just shrugged at her words, "I don't know he's not a bad guy like you all make him out to be you know."

"Wait! You totally already knew didn't you!" Mina said, slapping Eijiro's shoulder.

"Hey! I mean- Bakugo is my best friend you know, so yeah I did..." He answered truthfully.

"You suck! Keeping secrets like that from me!" Mina said playfully, waving a finger at him.

"I'm sorry, but it's their business you know?" He said.

"Yeah I understand, guess we should go back to the dorms too now," Mina suggested.

"Yeah it is pretty cold up here, let's go." He agreed as they both started to walk down the hill. "I don't have Bakugo's quirk or anything but- if you're cold you can hold my hand too if you want," Eijiro suggested.

Mina's face tinted a darker pink as she reached out and grabbed Eijiro's hand.

Tags: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries

Picture taken from @everypanelofkatsuki, thank you for all your hard work! Go check them out if you haven’t!

[trafalgarya]

Hashiras x reader who doesn't know how to show emotions.

Plot : The Hashiras (from Demon Slayer (not all of them)) x a stoic, inexpressive reader. Headcanons.

With : Giyuu Tomioka, Muichiro Tokito, Kyojuro Rengoku, Shinobu Kocho, Mitsuri Kanroji.

tw : giyuu's backstory is briefly mentioned. kyojuro's part involves anger and sadness. shinobu's part can be seen as slightly suggestive, but there's nothing explicit.

gn!reader. reader feels emotions just like everyone else, but they're just not too fond of displaying them.

hi ! so, uh, it's been a while. tbh, i completely forgot about tumblr. lots of things (not in a bad way, rest assured) are happening in my life rn, and i hadn't much time to spend time on tumblr. i won't promise you anything about me definitely coming back on tumblr, as i don't want to give you guys any hopes that'll eventually reveal themselves false, but i'll try.

my english has improved a bit, but i'm afraid it's still shitty, so i apologize if what i say isn't always coherent enough.

one last thing : i'll often mentions headcanons about when the both of you are going to bed to sleep together, but of course, these are when the characters in question aren't assigned on a mission.

Giyuu Tomioka

Giyuu himself doesn't like to publicly showcase his emotions, so you being inexpressive as well is kind of a gift for him. Don't make me say what I haven't, though ! He'd love you just as much if you were someone expressive by nature, but you being inexpressive suits him even better, because he knows you'll understand how he feels about this subject.

Both of you being a stoic couple doesn't prevent either of you to show your love for the other, though. You're just... not doing it outside closed doors. Hugs and kisses are at the rendezvous once both of you find yourselves in a quiet place where you know you won't be disturbed.

However, Giyuu isn't too fond of being overwhelmed of affection. Sure, he enjoys feeling the warmth of your body as you lay your head on his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist, and I'll tell you, he even enjoys being the one to lay on your chest. Hearing your heartbeat acknowledges him with the fact that you're still alive and not leaving anytime soon, so he won't be having a mental breakdown about losing one other person he cherishes. He loves the feeling of your hands grasping his, your fingers intertwined together as you enjoy the peacefulness and calmness of that loving moment... That said, I can't really imagine Giyuu being so touch deprived that he'd want affection all day long. He needs a bit of space sometime — not in a "Leave me alone" way, but in an introverted way, if that's the correct word —, and he knows you'll respect it as you're not one to make a scene about such things.

I can see Giyuu enjoying to read in your presence. He'd especially love it if both of you were lying on your double-sized bed, wrapped in each other's arms as he's holding a book for you both to read as you readjusted your position to make yourself more comfortable on his chest. That'd kind of be your dates, I guess ? I mean, Giyuu isn't someone to willingly go outside and take long walks at night.

You're the type of couple to either have deep, philosophical talks at night, rambling about your lives or something intriguing that happened during the day, or the type of couple to stay silent even when you're together, just silently enjoying the other one's presence and the amount of joy they're bringing to your life, no in-between.

If you're the second type of couple, however, that doesn't mean you'll never talk at all. If there happens to be a problem within your relationship, as mature adults, you'll talk through it and find solutions together. Neither of you will leave until you've both found a solution. Giyuu wouldn't mind doing compromises for your relationship to work better — he's not risking losing you just like he did with Sabito, Makomo and Tsutako — and so would you. Despite not showing him at all times, you love him with all your heart, and you know it's reciprocal.

Overall, you being stoic suits Giyuu just fine, and he loves it even better. He knows you won't question his lack of emotions on his face at any times, and that's probably what's keeping him in your relationship. Outside of his undying love for you, of course. He's undeniably the best one to go to if you want some calm and peacefulness.

Muichiro Tokito

Despite his age, Muichiro is a mature boy, and he knows better than to question whether your lack of expression is due to the fact that you're growing tired of him — which you clearly aren't, quite the opposite actually —, because he's in the same situation as you are. Just like everyone else, he's able to grow attached to someone, to cling onto them, just like he can feel joy, sadness, anger, etc.

He knows you're mainly showing your love physically, and privately, and he respects that. Not that he isn't too fond of PDA, but he doesn't crave it, and so do you. So, just like with Giyuu, you both keep your love within closed doors.

However, unlike Giyuu, Muichiro is much more clingy. Whenever he can, he'll go on and hold your hand, immediately intertwining his fingers with yours, he'll stand on his toes and kiss one of your cheeks, having the satisfaction of bringing a faint blush to the inexpressive being you are, he'll snuggle in your arms and rest his head on your chest, immediately closing his eyes to appreciate your warmth the best he can, he'll play with your hair after asking you if you were okay with it... You got it, he's quite the clingy boy.

Speaking of hair. If you have long hair, he'll gladly brush them and style them for you. Just know, he especially love braiding your hair, he thinks it looks good and cute on you. However, if you have short hair, he'll ask you to brush his instead. He's gifted with natural, long, beautiful hair and he knows it, and he wants to keep them maintained. As you do so, he'll probably sit on your lap, crossing his legs as he hums a melody, trying his best not to move too much so as not to complicate you the task at hand. When you're done, he'll reward you with a small kiss on the lips and a warm smile.

When it's time for you to go to bed, you already know he's clinging onto you as if it was the last thing he'll ever do. You're usually spooning. He doesn't mind being the big spoon, but he usually prefers being the little spoon. It just brings him a sense of comfort, he can't explain why exactly, but all he knows is that he loves it. He'll wrap his arms around your waist, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck to smell your scent. It relaxes him and helps him to go to sleep.

You're often training together. As a Hashira, he acknowledges his strength, and he'll go easy on you. The last thing he'd want to do is to hurt you. In that case, he'd act more as a teacher for you, helping you with moves you're struggling with. However, if you're strong enough to keep up with him — first of all, he'd be proud of having such a strong S/O, and that'll make him relax about knowing you can protect yourself — but ultimately, he won't hold back as much as he was planning to. He'll still do his best not to hurt you, but he'll be having fun training with you. It brings him a strange sense of pride and satisfaction knowing that he can freely showcase his strength while you're keeping up with him.

Overall, one of the best Hashiras to be inexpressive with. He's someone understanding, but that said, it doesn't mean he'd hold back at all. You're his and he's yours, so why restraining himself when it comes to showering you with affection ?

Kyojuro Rengoku

Well... He's the complete opposite of you. That man is full of energy and always seen with a smile on his face. He's loud and always up for a challenge, while you're... well... usually quiet and stoic. But, in his eyes, that's what makes your charm !

He's completely respectful of your boundaries. If you don't want to do something he wants to do, then be sure he won't do it. Despite how hard it would be for him to not do it, he's putting your health and well-being before his own needs. Don't want a hug ? That's fine, he can settle for your presence instead ? Don't want to go outside ? He's just as fine staying at home with you ! Don't want to cook ? Just rest in bed, he'll take care of everything !

You got it, he's very respectul of your boundaries and doesn't want to pressure you into anything that could make you uncomfortable. That's the last thing he'd want to do, to make you uncomfortable.

Whenever you need some calm, some relief or simply to talk, you can count on him ! The moment you appear to be sad or angry, he's already sitting next to you. He'll gently rest his hand on your shoulder, or your thigh if that's okay with you, and he'll ask you what's wrong, and if you want to talk about it. He'll wrap a warm arm around your neck, bringing you closer to him, and he'll run a hand through your hair, putting you at ease the best he can. He's someone quite skilled with his words, he'll always find the right words to comfort you, and he'll be careful with his choice of words. He doesn't want to accidently say something that'll make you feel worse than before.

When it's time to go to bed, he'll sneak in the blankets and wait for you to get ready as well. Just know, he's a man who usually sleeps without a top, his torso and strong, muscled, well traced arms displayed, for your eyes's pleasure. If you don't want to cuddle, be sure he'll at least kiss you on the lips. If you want to, however, he WILL cuddle. He's not missing the opportunity ! He likes to be the big spoon, it brings him a sense of protection knowing that you entrust him enough to let him carry you in his arms in such an intimate way. He isn't someone to fall asleep so quickly, so he'll admire the peaceful look on your face as you're deeply asleep, wandering how such a beauty could have fallen in love with him, someone who's so different from you.

When you both are going out, he's always having an arm wrapped around your waist. Not to display affection or to show to everyone that you're his, but to protect you. He knows you can protect yourself, but he's an overthinker, and wants to make sure you're always by his side. You never know what could happen, especially in public places, so he makes sure to at least have an arm wrapped around your waist.

Overall, Kyojuro is someone very understanding and respectful of your boundaries who'll make sure to protect you at all cases. He loves you very much and is always there for you. Probably the best one if you're feeling down, as he's the most skilled one with his words.

Shinobu Kocho

That woman is such a tease. If you agreed to be in a relationship with her, you also silently agreed to be made fun of at all times. Not in a mean way, of course, she just likes to tease like no one ever did.

You kind of remind her of Giyuu, that's probably one of the reason she's "bullying" you at least as much as she does to Giyuu, if not even more. With a playful smile on her face, she'll often do remarks about how you're not smiling enough, and how pretty you would look for her if you had a smile on your face. She's probably the one who leaves you all blushing and flustered the most out there, although you're usually not used to blush and be unsettled that much. You kind of hate her for that, but oh how you love it as well. Kind of like a love-hate relationship.

On a more serious tone, she's always reminding you that it's all for fun. She doesn't want you broken and saddened because of her playful personality. If it ever made you uncomfortable, she'd immediately notice it and stop her remarks. She'll feel remorseful, although not showing it. She doesn't want you to know that.

As the insect Hashira, she possesses lots of medical and pharmaceutical knowledge to make up for her lack of physical strenght — although that doesn't mean she's physically weak, she's actually pretty strong, her physical strenght is simply not enough to cut down a demon's neck —, she's the best one to go to whenever you feel sick. Whether you've returned of a mission and you're full or bruises and cuts, you're having a fever or a simple headache, she has all the best medicines already prepared for you. It won't take much before she finds the medicine she's searching for, and she'll immediately administer it on you. If your case is serious, she'll make sure you're lying on a bed and moving only for the necessary. And trust me when I say that if she has to tie you up on the bed for you to stop moving, she'll do it. She always has some... accessories ready for these cases.

As one of the doctor of the Demon Slayer Corps, she's often busy healing slayers and creating medicines. However, if you need to talk to her about something important, she'll make sure to talk to you while doing the task she's assigned. If she's healing a slayer, you both will talk standing up while she's doing her job. However, if she's producing some medicines, which often happens in her personal office, she'll grab a chair for you to sit. Whether the medicine needs constant attention or not, she'll prioritize you first and will be sure not to make you feel ignored. Although she may not always look at you in the eyes because of whatever she's doing, she's attentive and listening to you, and you know it.

Despite her petite figure, she's not one to underestimate. If, for some reasons, you decide to tease her back and acting bratty on her, may the Lord forgive you, because she won't be holding back. She'll remind you of your place and punish you suitably to how much of a brat you've been. She's not afraid to use radical solutions to get what she wants — as long as you've given your consent of course — and to prove to you that her height doesn't mean shit. It might be publicly, also reminding to everyone that she's not a woman to mess with, or it can be in a private setting, where you won't get disturbed. Rest assured, though, she won't hurt you... much.

Sadly, you're often sleeping alone. As I mentioned before, she's a doctor, and is often busy working on medicines or injured slayers. Even though she's sneaking into the bed at night and you both ultimately sleep together, you rarely fall asleep together. If that's hurting you at any point, she'll find a solution, whether it's to stop working for the night to sleep with you, or to bring you to her office, letting you sleep on her lap as she keeps working, she'll make sure to find a solution not to make you feel abandoned and neglected.

One thing she loves to do with you, even going as far as making it a daily thing, is having breakfast with you. Whether she has slept or not, she'll make sure to take ten to twenty minutes each morning to have breakfast with you. It is a must in your relationship, and you're happy with it, as she's probably the one out of the other Hashiras you'll see the less. She'll ask you if you've slept well, how was your night, etc. If you're not a morning person, she'll just restrain herself from talking that much, but she at least wants you to be there with her.

Overall, she's the best Hashira to go to if you feel sick. She's a busy woman but she makes sure to fulfill her duty of keep the relationship healthy and maintained as your girlfriend. She's not one to mess with, so as long as you respect her, you're fine. She's making sure you know she loves you very much and wants to keep you in her life for a long-term relationship, she doesn't like short relationships where y'all break up over a small argument, she's a mature woman who's talking through everything and makes sure to find a solution while doing her best at work.

Mitsuri Kanroji

Do I really need to specify she's the complete opposite of you ? Even worse than Kyojuro, she's a cheerful and happy being who always showcases her emotions. Rare are the moments where she isn't seen with a smile on her face. The difference between the both of you is so obvious that people can't help but ask how did you two ended up together.

Your lack of expression doesn't bother her in the slightest ; Trust me, she'll make up for the both of you, as the emotional person she is. She finds your lack of expression charming, cute and hot at once. She loves this side of you, seeing you so calm and unbothered makes her heart melt. All she wants to do is to pamper you and shower you in hugs and kisses. But if you aren't too fond of it, that's okay too ! She'll make up with other things she knows you tolerate, such as hand holding, words of affirmation or buying you gifts, often food.

Just like Shinobu, having breakfast with her is a must... except it's not only breakfast. In fact, she wants to spend the three dinners a day with you, she'll find herself all saddened and upset when she can't spend even one dinner with you. She wants to be by your side at all times, even though she knows it isn't always possible and is more of an utopic desire of hers.

She knows you're not talkative, and that's fine by her. Just like for your emotions, she'll make up for the both of you. She's the yapper to your listener. She'll often talk for hours and hours about her life, her day, about that one stray cat she crossed paths with on her way to a restaurant and how she couldn't resist the temptation to caress him, about that new, young and prodigious slayer called Tanjiro she sympathizes with, etc. Sometimes, she's afraid she's talking too much, but you assure her she's not, and in fact, you love listening to her.

Obanai was jealous of you at first, but eventually he realized you were treating Mitsuri well enough after lots of conversations with Mitsuri herself, so he kind of gave up on the idea of seducing Mitsuri and entrusted you with bringing her the joy she deserves to have. Be wary, however — if he hears ONE bad thing you did to Mitsuri, he'll knock your ass, going on and on about how she deserves to be treated like a princess and all. But Mitsuri often gets in his way, stopping him before he goes too far. Eventually, he stopped loving her, realizing you were the one who got her heart, and started acting just a little bit more friendly towards you.

When it's time to go to bed, she's often the one lying in the it first, tired of her day. Yup, whether she has done something or not, that's what makes it funny. When it's your turn to sneak under the blankets, she'll immediately snuggle to you, it goes from simply hugging you to spooning you — she doesn't mind being the little one or the big one, it's honestly up to you — to lying on top of you and resting her head in the crook of your neck. She'll whisper a weak "I love youuu" before quickly falling asleep. She's a quick sleeper, unlike her master Kyojuro, so you're often the one finding yourself admiring her angelic traits as she's peacefully sleeping next to/on top of you.

Overall, the sweetest Hashira to be in a relationship with. She's the one to go to if you need affection and for a sunshine to invade your life.

[darethshirl]

solavellan, sharing a bed tent

"We've accomplished enough for today. Let's set up camp," the Seeker said brusquely as the sun set on of their first day of excursions, in the Hinterlands woodlands, with the green light of a healed Veil tear still veritably crackling over their skin. She tossed her pack on the ground and knelt, taking out pegs and tools with her strong hands. "Herald, help me with our tent."

Lavellan paused. She'd been in the middle of turning towards Solas—an unthinking, instinctive show of preference, one he refused to think too hard about—and so was stuck in this frozen position, unmoving as a startled halla. "Oh," she started, and failed to continue. Unable to find a tactful way to say no. Her expression, usually unreadable, now looked uncomfortable.

The silence stretched long enough to draw attention to itself. Varric raised his eyebrows with an author's—or gossip's—bloodhound instinct for intrigue. Even Cassandra eventually looked up, more confused than affronted. "Is there a problem?" she asked.

The problem is that you are a Chantry official and she is from a persecuted group, Solas thought, and you are completely blind to the imbalances of power you yourself perpetuate.

But he didn't say any of it aloud. There would be no point to it. He waited instead to see how Lavellan would extricate herself from this tangle, observing without interfering.

"I'm a light sleeper," Lavellan said, her voice taking on the laughing hue of an apologetic joke. Her mouth curled up; it didn't quite match her eyes. "Your heavy armor would keep me up at night." A subtle enough attempt, if inelegant under the circumstances. Solas approved.

Sadly, it seemed understanding subtlety was beyond the Seeker's capabilities. "I don't wear armor when I sleep," she said with a frown, painfully straight-faced.

More silence. Lavellan's smile stretched thin—Solas could see the strain on her cheeks, the way the corners of her eyes tightened. He could also see the moment she gave up, that split-second display of resignation. She really was going to agree, and spend all night tense and drawn, and pay the price for it tomorrow.

Solas drew breath to speak. "You can sleep in my tent if you'd prefer, lethallin."

Lavellan's relief was immediate. It rushed our of her in a sigh, her body completing its movement to turn fully towards him. "Thank you, Solas." Her eyes were wide and deeply green, looking up at him with more gratitude than he deserved. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Solas made a courtly gesture—offering her what? Crude canvas in an even cruder forest?—and schooled his face into an expression he hoped was reassuring. "After you."

"Wait!" Cassandra scrambled to her feet, looking so genuinely alarmed that Solas wondered if he'd somehow missed a step. "You can't do that!"

Lavellan stuttered in her motion again, her shoulders tensing. "Why not?"

"Because he's a man!"

The silence that descended this time had a distinct tinge of incredulity to it. Lavellan showed her most open emotion so far: honest confusion. "…So?"

Cassandra spluttered, her face reddening. "But—that's—surely you'd be more comfortable with—with another woman!"

"Elves don't care about shit like that," Varric cut in, his gaze and grin taking on a mean glint. "But I guess you've got your mind in the gutter, huh? For shame, Seeker," he added, shaking his head theatrically. "I'm suddenly afraid for my virtue."

"You shut up," Cassandra hissed menacingly—then turned towards Lavellan, stiff and blotchy-faced. "Is this truly what you prefer?” she asked, then at Lavellan’s answering nod deflated. “Very well. Then I won't get in your way."

An unexpectedly honorable response. Made in earnest too, if the Seeker's serious, guileless expression was any proof. Solas found himself reconsidering the woman, and Lavellan herself seemed both surprised and moved by the act. "Thank you," she said, and this time her smile warmly touched her eyes.

The rest of their preparations went on uneventfully enough. Solas and Lavellan worked in silent tandem together, their teamwork efficient as they ignored the bickering happening behind their backs. Before long the tent was set, the sun was setting, and goodnights were said.

"Thank you again for the save," Lavellan said with a sigh, her tension having disappeared the moment the canvas cloth flapped closed. She was kneeling, unwrapping her bedroll with unhurried, graceful movements. Her eyes twinkled when she smiled at him. "I hope this isn't too much trouble for you."

"It is nothing," Solas replied, willing it to be so. "A small thing to sacrifice for your comfort. Remember, I am here to help."

Small was also the inside of the tent; a fact he hadn't considered, back when he'd opened his mouth with such uncharacteristic impulsiveness. Even with space left courteously between their bedrolls, reality was undeniable: they were too close together, their shifting too loud, their bodies too aware of each other. Or maybe that was just Solas. He told himself he couldn't actually feel her body heat warming up the side of his arm, drawing up goosebumps. Not literally.

"Goodnight, Solas."

"Goodnight."

A steady breathing. Solas listened to its constant rhythm, slowed down his own to match it. His hands were clasped demurely over his belly. He didn't look over.

Only when nightfall had truly fallen, hours later and with the forest's sounds adding their counterpoint to the ambience, did he risk a glimpse. Lavellan slept curled in on herself, lying on her side with a hand slightly outstretched. Did she have a companion back at her clan? Someone who would grasp that hand and curl towards her, sharing her breath? Her sleeping face looked like she wouldn't reject such acts, her expression slack and defenseless.

Solas turned his gaze back to the tent's roughspun ceiling. He closed his eyes, and shut his mind.

[bachiras-toaster]

dazai teaches you how to suck dick : ̗̀➛

OSAMU DAZAI x f!reader

cw. nsfw virgin!reader, dick sucking, hand job, alcohol consumption

wc. 2.9k

When the two of you arrived at Dazai’s apartment to hang out after a long evening at the Agency, you had already made yourself comfortable on his couch as he placed the pizza boxes he had ordered on the coffee table in front of you.

"Nice!-" You beamed, taking a slice before your best friend even had the chance to sit down.

"Hey, don't get too comfortable there without me." The scruffy-haired man smirked slightly as he took a seat on the other end of the sofa, looking at you over the pizza; also putting a bottle of sake down. "You might want to sit closer." He teased lightly before taking a bite of his own slice.

"Alcohol? I like your way of thinking." You giggled, already having grabbed it by the handle to pour yourself a mix into the cup you had preparedly set in front of you.

Dazai laughed slightly, holding his pizza up in challenge as he watched you pour your drink from beyond his bites.

"You can't resist a drink, can you?" He hummed lightly, pouring his own glass once you had finished. "I knew you’d be all over the bottle as soon as I put it down.”

"You know me so well." You beamed brightly at him, clinking your cups together when he had finished pouring.

“Cheers." He exclaimed with a small smirk before taking a sip from his cup, watching intently as you did the same. Your willingness to drink with him had always amused him, and he couldn’t help but smirk as he felt the need to take advantage of the situation with the spark of an interesting conversation. "So to pass the time... Let's play twenty questions."

"Twenty questions? Alright." You giggled, already beginning to tap your chin thoughtfully. "Well, I've known you for quite a while, so there aren't a lot of questions I could ask, so I'm gonna try to be reall obscure about what I say..." A lightbulb seemed to flicker in your mind. "Aha! What's the worst thing you've been told off for during your school days?"

The man just chuckled lightly at your query before taking another bite of his pizza, considering the question deeply.

"Oh, well, there's been quite a few times I’ve been in trouble. Usually, it's just for something small like talking in class or not turning in an assignment on time." He grinned, taking another sip of his sake. "...But the worst thing I got into trouble for was sneaking a girl into my dorm room. The dean wasn't very happy about it."

"Seriously?!" You chuckled brightly. "Oh my god, you would do that, wouldn't you?" You asked rhetorically with an amused smile. "Okay. now your turn to ask me a question."

Dazai questioned almost immediately, like he had such a question simmering in the corner of his mind for so long.

“What's the one thing you want to do but are too afraid to try?" He asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

You giggled a little, trying to cover your laughs by sipping your drink over your own words.

"Oh, god. This is an embarrassing one..." You mumbled out, hesitant to respond- but figuring you didn’t have a lot to hide from one of your closest colleagues at the Agency. "...I guess probably giving someone a blowjob." She shrugged lightly, bringing her legs up onto the couch to cross them as she drank more.

"Wow— I really expect that from someone who's a virgin." Dazai’s eyes widen slightly in surprise before he quickly recovered and chuckled, trying to keep his expression neutral. "I'm not sure why you’d think that's embarrassing. It's just something you haven't done before." He jabbed, leaning back on the couch slightly. "Don't be afraid to try it. You never know if you'll like it until you do." He teased lightly, enjoying the playful banter between you two.

"Okay, haha, very funny." You feigned an amused expression, rolling your eyes at his virgin comment. "I get it. I'm a virgin and you're a massive playboy."

"Hey, I didn't say I was a massive playboy! I just happen to be a little popular with the ladies.” Dazai grinned, his eyes twinkling with pride. "I have more experience than you, that's all." He leaned forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

"...Have you ever gotten a blowjob?" You asked curiously, but you quickly felt like retracting your statement when you realised what kind of question you had just asked- and to your best friend too! "—Nevermind! Forget I asked that—"

"Well, it is twenty questions. If you're going to ask, you might as well know." Dazai shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. "Yeah, I have. Feels good." He smiled slightly, trying not to look too smug about it. "If you ask me, it's nothing you should be scared about trying."

"It's just scary because I'm a—... I haven’t done it before." You grumbled, hiding your lips behind your cup. "Like— I wouldn't even know what to do. And if the guy I lost my v-card to turned out to be an asshole, it'd ruin my whole experience."

“Then you'll just have to find someone who knows what they're doing, then." He winked playfully, his smirk turning slightly teasing. "Or you could always practice on something else beforehand." He casually took another sip of his drink, watching you carefully.

"Oh yeah? And who the hell would be willing to let me practise giving them a blowjob?" You scoffed at his suggestion, only for them to respond in all seriousness.

"I could always volunteer, you know. You know I'd be more than happy to help you out, even if it's just practice."

You froze for a moment, staring blankly at him. You didn't seem to believe that he was being anything but sarcastic in what he was saying, and you just let out a chuckle in order to match what you thought was his playful intention.

"You're funny."

"I try." Dazai chuckled, putting his cup down onto the coffee table to focus his entire attention on you; he couldn't help but grin. "So, are you gonna take me up on my offer or what?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Are you being serious?" You asked plainly.

"Of course I'm serious." He couldn't help but tease you a little bit, enjoying the atmosphere between you two. "You know I'd never lie to you." He added. "But then again... Maybe you're to innocent for that." He commented with a grin as he looked away for a second, knowing that it would get a rise out of you.

"I am not innocent!" You put your cup down on the table, your face flushing as you looked sort of offended at the remark.

“Oh, come on, (Y/n)." Dazai chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "You know you are. But that's what makes you so damn cute." He leaned forward, his nose scrunching with an adorable smile.

But you simply furrowed your brows, gnawing your her bottom lip as you seemed to be deep in thought at his abrupt offer.

“…You'd really help me?"

"Of course I would!" He smiled, taking your hand in his. "I'd do anything for you." He leaned back in, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "It'll be our little secret, okay? Just between us. I just know you’d be embarrassed falling into the same palm of mine that so many women have fallen into before.” He boasted, to your reluctant agreement.

"Okay..." You said, watching as he reclined comfortable against the sofa before you began inching closer towards him. "But— I don't know what I'm doing." You gulped, abruptly freezing at the realisation.

“That's what practice is for." Dazai smiled, pulling you closer to him. "Don’t worry! We’ll take it slow, and I'll teach you everything you need to know." He ran his fingers through your hair, savouring the feeling of you sat so meekly opposite him. "I'm actually glad you agreed to this. You have no idea how much I've imagined you in front of me like this."

"What—?" Your face immediately felt warm when he said that.

"Don't pretend like you didn't know." He teased, smirking at you. He leaned in close, his lips close to your ear, whispering softly. "And don't pretend that I'm the only one with such thoughts… You seriously thought I couldn’t hear you the nights you’d let me crash on your couch?”

"What are you talking about?" You asked, reluctant to crawl any further towards him.

"Oh, come on," He chuckled, his eyes sparkling with playful amusement. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." He leaned back against the sofa, patting the spot in front of him. "I've heard you… And it wasn't just the occasional moan," he whispered, his hand stroking along your jaw as he leaned in close. "I'm always getting hard listening to you. Fuckin' my own fist and pretending it's you."

"You— What?" You gulped, your face blushing profusely. You admitted, you did find him a attractive as hell, but never had you thought that he'd have such lewd thoughts about you.

"You were always whispering sexy things in your sleep, about wanting someone to fuck you hard." The man smirked, his hand running gently down your arm before lifting his thumb to trace your collarbone. "It only made me want you more… The fact that you’d be so bold to make those noises while I’m here."

He reached out to take your hand to place it on his crotch, which already seemed to have a tent formed in it due to his erection. You gulped as he forced you to feel his hard-on, and you looked up at him, sweating a little.

"You could... Hear that? I didn't realise I spoke in my sleep..."

“Well, now you know." Your friend smirked, still holding your hand firmly against his crotch. "You were really anything but quiet. But truly. Your voice was like music to my ears." Dazai whispered, holding a smug grin. "I couldn't get enough of it." He leaned in close to your ear, his breath hot against your neck. "And I still can't."

You felt like you couldn’t say anything. You just remained seated where you were, hesitant to crawl further towards him; but your hand was still confidently placed on his pants, which you could feel was growing tighter by the second.

"(Y/n)..." Dazai moaned softly, his hand moving to your thigh. "You're making this so fuckin’ hard for me..!" He chuckled gravelly. "How about this, sweet..." He purred, his fingers lacing with yours as he began to guide you to the space between his legs, his other hand moving down your thigh to tease at you. "If you like the feel of this..." He trailed off, his thumb brushing against your clothed cunt. "Maybe you could return the favor? Come on. I’ll talk you through how to suck dick well.”

After a moment, you just nodded, feeling as if you were complying completely.

“Okay… As long as you tell me what to do…” You sat on your knees between his thighs on the couch, loosening the bands of his sweatpants so you could pull it down— He had helped you with that.

“Atta girl." Dazai murmured, his voice rough with desire as he watched you undress him. He had even leaned back against the couch, giving you plenty of room to work. "Just take your time and pay attention to how I react." He purred, his hand reaching down to guide your hand to his base. "…C’mon... Touch it. Take it all in your hand. Feel how hard it is for you."

As he fished his cock out of his pants, you seemed a little intimidated by how big he was— you started to understand what women saw in him… Had this been the first time you had actually seen a dick in person? You took his length into your palms, trying to adjust yourself to the feeling before looking up at him and awaiting further command.

“Good." Dazai praised softly, his voice hoarse with need. "Now, slowly, start to stroke up and down." He instructed, watching as your hand began to move in time with his words. "Don't worry about being gentle. I like it when you're firm."

You started firmly stroking your hand up and down the length of his cock, interested in how warm he felt in your palm.

"That's it." He encouraged, his hips starting to roll slightly in time with your strokes. "You're doing great." He murmured, reaching down to run a finger lightly over your lower lip. "Tell me... do you like touching me like this?"

“It… Feels okay…” You said softly, continuing to run your hand up and down his cock.

"Just okay?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow playfully. "To me, I'd say it looks pretty fucking hot seeing you touch me like this." He leaned back against the sofa, leaving you more space to work with. “Now, I want you to use your tongue.”

“My—?” You stammered, not stopping your hand movement. “Like… What do I do? Do I just— Do I need to put it all in my mouth?”

"No, not yet." He reassured you. "Just tease me with with your tongue; run it along the underside of my cock." He watched as you complied, his member twitching slightly at your touch.

You leaned down forward a bit so you could run your tongue up the length of his dick. You seemed a little surprised with the surface of how it felt, but you let your taste travel the entire length before you got to the tip, where you swiped a lick over the slit of it.

“Fuck." He hissed, his hips jerking up slightly. "That feels so good." He groaned, his hand sliding into your hair to grip gently. "Keep going, (Y/n)." He encouraged, his voice thick with lust.

You kitten-licked his cock, your tongue licking stripes up his dick like it was some piece of candy. The view of you from above only aroused Dazai more- Which you could tell by the way he subtly attempted to lush your head down.

"Oh god—“ He groaned, unable to get the words out fast enough. "You feel fucking incredible." His hips jerked up, his cock twitching almost painfully against your mouth. "Suck on it, (Y/n), suck me off. Take the tip into your mouth first.” He demanded, his grip on your scalp tightening.

You followed his command, finding the tip of his cock and planting a soft kiss onto it before you took it into your mouth. Once the tip was settled between your wet lips, you began licking at it from the inside of your mouth.

“Oh, fuck." He shakily breathed out, his hand sliding from your hair down to your neck, gripping it lightly. "You're doing so good, baby." He praised, his voice rough with need. "Don't stop, just keep going. Take more of me down as you go.”

You nodded, holding the base of his cock with your hand as you gradually began taking more of his dick inside of your mouth as you sucked on him. Your tongue swirled from his tip down to the veins of his length, your saliva coating his cock.

"Shit." Soft groans were heard from his lips, his eyes closing as he leaned his head back against the couch cushions. His voice was thick with lewd noises, almost hoarse from the sound of it. "(Y/n)— Fuck, that feels so good." Dazai moaned, thrusting his hips forward slightly. "Don't stop, baby. Come on—" He encouraged, sliding his hand down to your cheek to rub lightly.

Your head bobbed up and down on his cock, and you quickly realised that the parts that you couldn’t reach with your tongue, you could just stroke with your palm. Your slurping became more aggressive as you found your rhythm, and the pace in which you sucked him off became more steady.

“Fu-uck—" You could vividly hear his panting, hands gripping the couch behind him. He could feel himself getting close, his hips starting to buck forward more forcefully as he gave in to the pleasure you were giving him. "Your mouth is so fucking amazing, you sure you’re not a virgin?”

You continued, feeling fuelled by his praise and wanting to suck him off more simply because of how much he seemed to enjoy it. You also seemed to get off to how much his muscles tensed at your tongue. Dazai moaned— Almost a little too needily— hips jerking up forcefully. His head was thrown back, eyes closed tight as he tried to get closer.

"Don't stop, don’t stop, don’t stop—“ He whined out. “(Y/n). I'm about to cum. Fuck. Fuck." Dazai’s breathing hitched as he watched you, his fingers tangling in your hair lightly. He could feel his climax building fast, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. "Fuck...”

You kept at the pace you were going at, but your sucking became more desperate as you wanted to know how it would feel to make a guy cum— And partially because of how nice Dazai sounded when he whimpered.

“(Y/n), open your mouth." He ordered, voice low and demanding. He knew he couldn't hold out much longer, and he didn't want to cum in your mouth without permission.

Though thankfully, he didn’t have to. You did as you were told quite obediently, and immediately opened your mouth wide to him, your tongue laid flatly as you let him in. Dazai looked down at your opened mouth, eyes dark with lust. He could feel his climax rushing up fast, his cock throbbing against your soft inside.

"Swallow, (Y/n)." He warned.

As his reddened tip spurt his seed into your wet mouth, you didn’t even need to be told twice before you swallowed it almost immediately without a second thought. Your face seemed to contort a little as you hadn’t expect the cum to taste so salty, nor did you expect it to have such an odd consistency, but you swallowed nevertheless.

Dazai let out a shaky breath, his hips jerking back against the couch.

“Fuck." He panted, unable to believe how good that felt. He looked down, eyes soft and smouldering. "I really shouldn't have let you do that." He sighed as he felt your warmth envelop his cock, swallowing him down. He groaned deeply, his body shuddering from the intense release. "Shit, (Y/n)..."

“Why not…?” You queried innocently, swiping off the cum that dropped from the corner of your lips to swallow in your mouth.

"Because now I want more." He had confessed, running his fingers through her your gently. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. "And I know you're not ready for what I really want." He whispered, his voice low and rough.

[em-ontv]

Hi I’m the anon who sent you the idea for “sing a song for me” and it’s literally so perfect I can’t wait to read the second part. I might cry a little I’m not even lying this was a dream I had and I was like huh wow that would make a cool fanfic but I can’t write at all. And you made it even better than I could’ve imagined thank you so much 🥰

Sing a song for me. (2/2)

Pairing: Soldier Boy x supe!fem!reader

Warnings: injuries/scars, comfort/intimacy (non-explicit), language, no use of y/n, Butcher being Butcher, probably ooc Ben (I made him a bit too gentle, we don't need more trauma), not proof-read

A/n: hello, anon! I'm so glad you liked part 1, this is the long due part 2 I promised. Hope you like it <3 sorry for taking so long to write this :'(

Read part 1 here

Word count: 2.4k

The inside of the van was cramped and smelled faintly of oil and sweat. The seats were worn, the leather cracked from use. The night outside was dense, you saw just enough stars to remind yourself that while you were locked away, there was a whole other world out there beyond your cell.

You sat beside Ben, who kept casting glances your way as if he was afraid you'd shatter. But you couldn't blame him... you must have looked terrible. The bruises, the exhaustion, the haunted look in your eyes. You didn't even bother to look at yourself in the reflection of the window on your way into the van. It felt like too much—like you couldn't handle what Vought had done to you. Not yet.

The ride was mostly silent until Butcher finally spoke.

"Alright, love, here's the deal." he said, breaking the silence. His eyes looked over you, his expression calculating. "We need to know now. Are you in, or do we drop you somewhere nice and safe to rot? We're taking down Homelander. It's not a bloody game."

Hughie shifted uncomfortably, his mouth opening like he wanted to say something, but he stayed silent. You stared back at Butcher, trying to gather your thoughts, trying to form words, but your head was spinning.

You knew what he was asking, but it felt too much to make that decision right now. You just wanted to rest—a bed, a moment to breathe without fear clawing at your throat.

"Alright, back the fuck off." Ben's voice snapped, breaking through the haze of your thoughts. The tension in the van spiked, and for a second, it looked like he was ready to lunge across the seat at Butcher and knock all of his teeth out. "Can't you see she's been through enough? She doesn't need your bullshit right now."

Butcher's jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing as he met Ben's glare. "We don't have time for second-guessing, mate. It's a very simple question."

Butcher turned his gaze back to you. "You can help us take down Homelander, the bastard who’s got half the world wrapped around his fuckin' finger, or we can take you back home. But no guarantees, yeah? Vought knows about you. They’ll come for you. Eventually."

You swallowed hard, rubbing a hand over your throat, your mind spinning. Home? That word didn't even feel real. Could that place—that cell—even be worthy of being called something like home?

But then again, if you didn't help, could you ever be safe again? For once in a very long time, the choice was yours, but both paths seemed like a death end.

"She needs time." Ben said, his jaw tensing, quietly observing you as if he knew what you were thinking. The hand that he rested on your back made you flinch slightly, causing him to retract it, his fingers curling into a fist.

Your gaze faltered, your eyes dropping to the ground before you managed to look back at Butcher.

A sharp huff escaped Butcher, his patience worn out. “Time's not a luxury we've got. This ain't a charity." He turned toward you, his tone biting. "Again, you can go back to your cozy little cell, I suppose. Vought’ll just find a new use for you.”

"For fuck's sake, she just got out of a shithole." Ben snapped, his voice simmering with anger. "Give her some fuckin' time."

For a moment, Butcher looked like he might argue with some witty comeback, but after a beat, he exhaled sharply, turning his attention back to the road. "Fine. But time's ticking."

The rest of the drive was quiet. You leaned back in your seat, your eyelids heavy, letting your eyes close for just a moment, the noise faded into the background as you let exhaustion win over.

––––

When you reached the destination, Ben helped you out of the van, his movements cautious, his hand warm and solid on your lower back as he guided you inside. The "safe house" was as secure as it was miserable, but right now, that didn't matter. It was shelter, and it was enough.

The others dispersed, Butcher grumbling quietly under his breath as he stalked off to another room, Frenchie and Kimiko greeted you with a wave before leaving too.

Ben, though, lingered by your side, his hand hovering near yours, gently brushing against it for a second, but he didn't dare to reach for you.

"You alright?" he asked, his voice rough but oddly gentle, his gaze never leaving your face. It wasn't something you expected to hear from him—after seeing his quite violent display in the lab, but here he was, looking at you with more concern than anyone else ever had.

You nodded, a small smile curling on your lips, swallowing thickly. "I'm... yeah. Just... tired," you were almost embarrassed by how weak you sounded, but he didn't judge, a faint understanding in his expression.

Hours passed in a tired blur. You had settled into a room, a worn-out bed, but it was better than nothing. Everyone retreated to their own corners of the place for what little rest they could find. You sank into the mattress, your eyes drifting shut almost instantly.

––––

It was sometime past midnight when Ben jolted awake, a cold sweat clinging to his skin, running a shaky hand over his face. The room was pitch dark, save for the faint glow of moonlight outside filtering through the window. He sat up, his heart pounding, the remnants of the dream clinging to him.

Images flashed through his mind—memories of Vought, of his own time in their hands, of the time when he was betrayed, taken away, being tested on, and then frozen for decades. His breathing was ragged, the familiar surge of anger clawing its way to the surface, but something else broke through.

His thoughts drifted to you.

Without really thinking, he got up, slipping out of his room and down the hallway, to the room where you slept. His steps were slow, cautious, not wanting to disturb you.

He hesitated at the doorway to your room, his breath catching when he saw you lying there, on the narrow, uncomfortable bed.

In the dim light, your features were softened, the lines of worry and pain absent. You looked peaceful, your breathing slow and steady, and it eased something in him, his shoulders sagging as the tension slipped away.

Ben took a step into the room, but the floor creaked under his weight, and your eyes snapped open, sitting up on the bed, startled.

"...m'sorry," he whispered, his voice soft but hoarse, like something was bothering him. "Didn’t mean to wake you."

"It’s okay," you murmured, your breathing becoming steady. Your eyes flickered over his face, the lingering pain in his expression catching you off-guard.

You knew that something was wrong, you'd seen that look before, in patients who had been through a lot, in people who had lost themselves along the way.

He hesitated, glancing away, as if embarrassed by his own vulnerability. He looked like he might turn and go back to his own room—but his uneven breathing made him pause. The sight of you was comforting, and that kind look in your eyes made him move closer instead of backing away.

He took a few careful steps closer, almost unsure. "Just wanted to… make sure you were alright," he said, his voice low.

You nodded, your heart still pounding, but not from fear this time, it was something warm. "I’m okay. Just… hard to sleep sometimes."

He nodded, understanding flickering in his eyes. He sank down to one knee, then both, kneeling beside your bed, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him and his slow breaths. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence heavy but comforting.

Without thinking, you lifted your hand, resting it gently against the side of his head, your thumb brushing over his temple. His eyes widened, a brief moment of shock crossing his face.

"What are you—?" his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, the touch almost made him wince in pain from how gentle it was. It was like your fingers brushed against some soft spot inside of him, he almost melted.

"It's okay... trust me," you started, trying to reassure him. His eyes met yours, the initial tension easing. He didn't pull away, but instead leaned into your touch in a quiet surrender. "My powers, they'll help," you added softly.

At your voice, his eyes fluttered shut, his expression softening as he exhaled a long, shaky breath. The walls he had built around himself crumbled bit by bit the more he felt your touch.

You hesitated, then began to hum—a soft, gentle melody, barely audible but enough to fill the silence. It felt strange, using your powers willingly again, but different this time... it brought you back to the bittersweet memories of your time before Vought. The tune was simple, soothing, a song you’d sung so many times before. Not destructive, but safe, warm.

As the notes drifted through the air, you felt Ben’s body relax under your touch. His breathing slowed, each exhale deeper, more even, and his hand reached up, covering yours as he pressed your palm closer to his face, silently grounding himself in the warmth of it.

His thumb brushed over the back of your hand, a gentle touch, and he felt something he thought he lost... peace. A kind of comfort that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Or something that he thought he'd given up for good, back in the old days, or maybe he'd never had it to begin with.

When your humming finally faded, he stayed there, his hand still covering yours, his eyes still closed. For a second, you thought he might have fallen asleep, but then he spoke, his voice barely a whisper.

"I don’t deserve this," he murmured, his tone laced with a sadness that made your heart ache. "You don't understand what I've... the things that I did."

You shook your head, your hand instinctively wanting to fall from the side of his face but he only held you closer with a conflict—whether he wanted to push you away or pull you into his arms and not let go.

"All I know is that I would've been stuck in that lab if it weren't for you," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "A favor for a favor. I think that's fair."

"Well, it wasn't entirely my choice to break you out," he muttered, that blunt tone of his slipping through, as if it was his last attempt to pull away before sinking too deep.

A soft scoff escaped your lips. "Whatever it was, at least I'm not stuck there anymore."

Slowly, you pulled him up onto the bed beside you, and he let you, his movements careful like he was afraid he might shatter the moment. You shifted, settling so that you were facing him, the blanket fell from your shoulders to pool around your waist, leaving the bruises and scars on your arms exposed under the dim light.

Ben’s gaze traveled over each mark, each scar, but there was no horror in his expression, no pity—only reverence. He reached out, his fingers brushing over a bruise on your shoulder, gentle and careful, as if touching something precious.

"They did this to you," he murmured, a hardness in his voice. It wasn't a question, but a statement. He knew too well.

You nodded, swallowing thickly. "They're fading." you said, looking away for a moment, as if you didn't want to acknowledge the scars.

Without a word, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to the bruise on your shoulder, a feather-light kiss that sent a shiver down your spine.

"Ben...?" you asked hesitantly. The small tremble in your voice made him stop, a flash of worry crossed his face, his teeth biting at his lower lip. He thought he might have overstepped.

"I'm... sorry," he whispered, pulling back. He feared that he had ruined whatever small trust that had begun to form between you.

But your fingers threaded through his hair, hand pressing to the back of his head to bring him closer again. "Stop apologizing," you breathed softly.

His eyes met yours and a small smile threatened to curl up on his lips, a mutual understanding settled between the two of you before his head dipped down to the crook of your neck. His lips brushed against your skin, kissing an old scar, then he kissed another, and another, his mouth trailing over each scar, each bruise, as if he was trying to erase the pain they held. It felt like an apology, like he was mending you.

His touch was careful, almost reverent, and you felt the warmth of each kiss seep into your skin, soothing the ache that lay beneath. You closed your eyes, letting the gentleness of his touch wash over you.

You felt your chest restricting, your breath becoming shallow, you couldn't remember the last time you'd been so taken care of. It was overwhelming, but you didn't want him to stop.

Ben’s hands were rough, calloused from years of fighting, but the way he touched you was anything but. He cupped your face gently, his thumb brushing away the tears that had slipped down your cheek without you even noticing. Then he closed the distance, pressing his lips to your forehead, a kiss so soft, so full of warmth that it made your chest warm and ache at the same time.

"You're safe," he whispered. "You're still here, and I'm with you." It wasn't much, but it was the most reassurance anyone could get out of him.

You leaned into him, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, and he sighed, his thumb brushing gently over your cheek, his gaze soft and unguarded in a way you hadn't seen before.

Slowly, he pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you as you settled your forehead against his chest, his heartbeat steady against your ear. You closed your eyes, letting yourself sink into his warmth. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt safe.

After a long silence, you spoke, your quiet voice breaking the quiet. "Hey... Ben?"

"Yeah?" he replied, his voice a murmur against your hair.

"I'll help you take down Homelander."

[sp00kymulderr]

sixteen shades of blue

prologue - a barely blue

professor!Dieter x reader

words: 800~

warnings/tags: no major warnings for this part. Reader is not a student. University admin stuff lol, write what you know and all that. Fantasizing about the hot professor who can't deal with basic admin tasks. drug use mention (Dieter, duh). Feelings. Hands. Unedited, unbeta'd, written on my phone I'm sorry for mistakes!

a/n: Happy birthday to my brainrot bestie @chronically-ghosted!!! this is a short little thing which hopefully will lead into a bigger thing one day but I know you have been waiting for him for so long so I'm introducing art history professor!Dieter today especially for you.

"Can you go check 16a?" Your boss calls over to you at your desk, "Looks like the register didn't go through"

You sigh to yourself but respond with a 'sure'.

16a is one of the smaller lecture halls on this side of campus; a quick job but not one you should be involved in, not that you'd ever complain about that - a people pleaser to your core, saying no to a work task felt like you might just die.

You stop short of the hall when you hear his voice, confident and excited, your heart skips a beat when you realise just who is teaching in 16a today.

Dieter had walked into your life when he joined the academic staff of the university a year ago. He was like a whirlwind and a calming breeze all at once, nothing like the stuffy, stuck up professors you usually worked with (worked for, in their minds). Dieter was everything they weren't.

You slip in quietly, and don't make yourself known straight away. He's talking about Cezanne - a particular passion of his - and you enjoy the way his hands move as he speaks, bringing the words to life, giving them a flow and a flourish. One of the rings on his fingers glints in a ray of light, drawing more attention to his hands.

You've thought about those hands a lot. His use of them to express himself. How he moves them in a pattern on any available surface when he's lost in thought. The smooth strokes they help him make on a canvas. He'd set up in one of the campus studios outside of hours to work on his own paintings, and you'd stumbled in following the smell of weed when working late one day. You promised to keep his secret safe if he'd let you watch him paint. It was mesmerising to see him work, to see his talent. He's a wonderful, albiet unconventiional professor, but it's clear his real love lies in making art himself.

You'd thought about his hands in other ways too, ways that made things inside you flutter and heat up. How his touch would feel, fingers dancing on your skin, tracing art on you, making you his masterpiece.

You have to shake the thoughts from your head. It's not appropriate, you're at work. Finally you clear your throat and he turns, a smile immediately lighting up his face, brown eyes deep and excited as he looks you up and down without much subtlty.

"Give me a moment" He says to the class, holding up a finger and barely turning his gaze from you, "Examine that reduction of natural form, and then we'll discuss it"

"Hey" You say quietly, stepping forward. He leans into you, a gesture that feels exceedingly intimate despite the students sat behind you.

"I was thinking about you this morning" Dieter says with what feels like a shyness, an admission, "My muse" he adds, and your heart does a little flutter. He'd been calling you that since you inadvertently helped inspire him on a new work one evening.

"But I'm guessing you're here because i've messed something up, right? Is it the stupid registers again" He sighs dramatically and you can't help but giggle.

"I'm afraid so" You nod and step towards his laptop.

"I hate these fucking things" He groans as he watches you access the system and press a few buttons, he's technology averse and you do feel for him in that sense, but you appreciate that he doesn't complain about your systems and processes that make your job easier.

"Remind me to show you how to use this when you're not teaching, okay?" You mutter, entering some final data and stepping back to the door.

"Thanks. I don't know how this place would even function without you..."

You look away, embarrased at the compliment. He's always telling you how much you help him, how good you are at your job, but it never gets easier hearing praise like that. Especially when you'd like to hear different praise coming out of that mouth, plush lips whispering against your ear while he...

You cut the thought off quick and scurry to open the door, but before you can leave he turns back to you and grabs your hand with a gentle hold. Not entirely appropriate infront of a class full of students but you can't pretend it doesn't thrill you. His large hand is warm, the slight press of his rings is definitely not unpleasant. You’re about to get lost in your horny imagination before he speaks again.

"I'll be in the studio later, come by and see the new piece?" He draws right in, so close you feel his breath, speaking in a near whisper. His eyes are almost pleading, wide and waiting and you could dive into their depths.

You squeeze his hand a little and let an easy smile play on your lips. Youd' hoped he'd ask, it had been a while since you'd seen his work, had him all to yourself... it sounds like the perfect evening to you.

"Nowhere I'd rather be"

[nayruwu]

full entire analysis of The Shinya Scene in chapter 83

... because in all my years of being here i've only ever talked about it in bits, but now that he's back and my demons have caught up to me i guess it's time to look at the whole thing combined.

and yes, i will be talking about guren. a lot. because whether you like it or not, guren is the main character, and shinya's role to an extent revolves around him. yes, i also wish we knew more about him outside of that, but it is what it is. i'll work with what i've got.

i actually recently saw someone who was wondering why people shipped gureshin, or why they believe shinya is in love with him - and since this chapter was my personal 'awh fuck i guess this is what i'll be constantly thinking about for the next 6+ years'-moment, perhaps when you see someone wondering the same, you can send them this.

let's start with the basics! in case you forgot it all starts off with shinya asking byakkomaru for more power to try and save guren.

yay for character exposition!

normal people's personality traits aside, shinya largely turned out the way he did because of childhood trauma. if your friends are constantly taken away from you, eventually, you're gonna stop caring about others. if emotions like sadness or fear of death will make you more vulnerable to attacks, you're gonna stop being afraid out of pure necessity. the training facility required shinya to care about no one but himself and go through there with an absolute calmness and rationality that protected him but also turned him into an empty unfeeling husk that doesn't really know why it's even alive.

also, lovely touch that it's just always raining inside his heart. i'm sensing he might have experienced sadness of some sort.

don't really appreciate the "yet you still hold burning desires" without any indication of what they might be, although you can guess looking at the following pages.

i'll talk about this topic some more a few pages down, but it's quite interesting how shinya believes reaching for impossible goals is meaningless, pretty much says 'no one cares that you tried if you don't succeed', while simultaneously admiring guren so much for never giving up.

"Though you never managed to make mahiru yours, you still feel nothing." shinya expressed some jealousy in catastrophe about having his government assigned fiancée constantly talking about another kid, but he seems to acknowledge that such a feeling is useless, and eventually drops it. which is also probably how he could talk about it so freely to guren instead of letting it fester and turn into bitterness.

"It is believing that way which fulfills your desires." he knows it's not the only way to think, but it acts as a sort of defence mechanism which spares him a lot of the pain people that experience emotions normally go through. i imagine it feels quite relieving, to be able to save yourself from it.

and oh! byakkomaru asks him a question about himself and shinya grins and tells him he doesn't need to ask these things, because he's his demon, he already knows everything about him! how interesting. let's call back to that later.

interesting comparison here. i think what it really comes down to in the end is passion.

to be quite frank, shinya's entire existence is downright miserable. he was entirely on his own for most of his life, having no one to depend on, being constantly reminded of his worthlessness and stuck in that horrible place he knows he can't get out of. but that's just it. he knows there's no way out, and he doesn't question it anymore. he's accepted it. he doesn't outwardly want or strive for anything. (although of course, byakkomaru needs to draw power from somewhere. so we can assume those other 'burning desires' are sitting somewhere very, very deep inside to the point where he can't even put them into words - considering that when asked about his biggest wish in the official fanbook, he can't think of anything, and instead chooses something that might make guren happy. whatever he wants himself is probably so impossible to him he wouldn't dare reach for, or even dream of it. if you can't get it, 'the effort is meaningless'.)

meanwhile guren, despite the general degradation of the ichinose clan, starts out with much more, a clan that supports him fully, a parent that loves him, devoted followers and a beautiful home - which is all violently ripped away from him one after the other. he suffers so so much within the story, and yet he never stops trying, never falls into that sad routine, never accepts defeat, always burning 'like the sun' in a way shinya can't. and because he knows he can't, never could, he tries to help. he bases his entire self worth on supporting someone he believes to be good.

i do appreciate a good Guren Roast. guren acts strictly on his feelings, which is confusing but incredibly endearing to shinya, who would be long dead if he'd acted the same. which i suppose is why he's looking at him like... that™. a little reminiscent of shinoa longingly staring at yuuichirou and thinking "teach me more", except shinya is a guy, so he's not allowed to blush about it.

he then very casually mentions that he hates idiots, so therefore he hates guren. note this down.

and here we have it. the fucking "person who is a stone cold rationalist but suddenly throws all logic out of the window when it comes to love" trope. in MY shounen manga. fucking wow. all that talk about shinya not feeling anything and only ever acting logically but when it comes to guren he starts contradicting himself. that's certainly not suspicious at all.

alright here we go fuck you fuck you fuck you.

i've yapped on an on about this page way too much, but just for completion's sake:

byakkomaru uses the word "恋" (koi). and i'm not japanese, i don't speak japanese, but my embarrassingly extensive research has concluded that as opposed to "愛" (ai), which is the stable, general and intentional feeling of love you hold for family members or your actual romantic partner, koi is an exclusively romantic term for when you've fallen in love with someone without meaning to, and whom you're not in a relationship with. or - oh dear! - "It can also have a meaning of longing for something or someone." sounds oddly familiar, maybe?

because what shinya actually responds here in the japanese original is "it's just 憧れ". and while this little fucker of a word can be translated to 'deep admiration' (which, of course, fits quite well), it can also be translated to 'longing' or 'yearning' - which is a word that has also been used to describe guren and mahiru's feelings for each other, in which case it has always been translated as longing. huh. funny that.

other than that, let's look at it in relation to what else has happened in this scene!

first off - "you're my demon, you know that!" byakkomaru doesn't need to make assumptions about him. he knows shinya better than anyone else, probably even shinya himself. knowing that, it seems more like he's trying to make shinya acknowledge it, perhaps to pull out more of that desire that he needs out of him, rather than an actual 'well MAYBE you're in love just saying. it's entirely irrelevant but it kinda popped into my mind right now'.

secondly, shortly before byakkomaru's statement, shinya does that cheerful intentionally-lying-through-his-teeth, stating that he hates guren because he hates idiots. which is obviously fucking bullshit, and everyone knows it. he knows it. byakkomaru knows it. guren knows it. hell, my fucking grandmother that i haven't seen since i was seven years old knows it.

but seriously - he spouts obvious lies in a sing-songy voice and laughs off everything byakkomaru throws at him. and we know smiling is shinya's way to deal with stress. (it's quite obvious, but was also explicitly mentioned in catastrophe). acknowledging something like this outright, that you might be in love with your best friend who's also your ex-fiancée's ex boyfriend, that'd be incredibly stressful, perhaps even scary, wouldn't it? especially for someone like him who we just established has survived by not growing attached to people and locking away all strong feelings for most of their life. who's to say that his "it's just 憧れ" isn't also just a lie meant to avoid a direct confronation about his own feelings that is obvious to byakkomaru but not to the reader?

once again we're talking about guren's passion and the fact that shinya really, really wants to help him. awesome.

what's also interesting to note is the part where he says "i completely understand why mahiru chose him over me". something similar is said multiple times in catastrophe, where he goes on about finally understanding what mahiru sees in him and why she loves him. could be 'girls love this guy that's so much better than me i wish i could be like him'. could also be kagami trying to sneak "SHINYA'S FEELINGS FOR GUREN = MAHIRU'S FEELINGS FOR GUREN" past censorship. who knows. not me. i'm just cleaning personell. anyone seen the broom closet?

"Do you intend to die here?" - "Good question." Thank you Shinya very cool.

he really just doesn't give a shit does he. insert another paragraph about how he doesn't have anything to wish for or look forward to. guren come get your passively suicidal emotional support animal.

the statement of never having had a reason to live despite him outright telling guren that his life had meaning because he got to meet him implies that this realisation only came as he was dying. he had to die to be able to see any meaning to life. which is really fucking sad if you ask me, but it lines up with his development in the novels - as soon as you accept weakness you accept that it will kill you. as soon as it all makes sense, it's over. can't have shit in owari no seraph.

despite everything, shinya hates losing to guren. this is something that's always been difficult for me to understand because i can't relate at all and it just seemed kind of childish, but we can actually explain it pretty easily by looking at the circumstances of his upbringing once again. shinya grew up in an environment where not being the smartest, fastest and most talented, where losing meant immediate death. if he's the best, he gets to survive. if there's someone better than him, he'll be disposed of. of course someone close to him that's a better person, is easily loved by so many different people (especially mahiru, who from shinya's point of view was the only reason he was even allowed to exist), can feel like a threat. it's what makes his characterisation so fun to me, because if i just look closely enough, i can explain most of what he does and says. i am nowhere near as good at understand whatever is going on in guren's mind.

anyway. do i think shinya is in love with guren? yes. i don't think any author would put this much thought into something that in the end is just there for shits and giggles. there's the drama cd too, where shinya uses a phrase that is commonly used in writing to subtly confess to another person (i actually only recently realised it was used in The Stranger by the Shore as well, which is straight up queer literature). his fanbook entry states that he is not interested in women. he can neither sit nor stand up fucking straight. there are so, so many hints if you just look for them. now, do i think it will lead anywhere? although i wish it would, nope. everything that nods to romantic feelings is from shinya's side exclusively, and he's far from the only one that fell for guren. but what i am certain of is that he is meant to be read this way.

aaand this actually concludes my little essay! thank you very much for coming everyone. it was a blast. feel free to leave some marzipan in the tip jar by the door. toodles!

[sevinagreatergood]

My baby, my child, my sweetheart. I'll tell you Snape fans. I would rob Snape out of that cradle made of twigs and raise Snape myself. I do not see him sexual at all. He gives me so much maternal energy when I look at his younger self. I wouldn't even care if I was magical or not. But I wished HP was real so I could look after Snape.

So when I read bullshit. Like 'i was sexually assaulted, but I didn't join a cult'

Or

'I was bullied, I didn't join a cult. '

I get very angry to put it mildly. It's the expression that whenever I read this an angel loses their wings. To me however it feels like they shot the angel in the torso, away from the vital points. Tear the feathers one by one, chopped off the limbs so it won't struggle, gag it, shave it, make a stew from the head, peel the skin for bacon, anything inedible goes to the collection basement or fridge then season the rest to put it in the oven and bon a petit I guess. But they did all of that, to feed it to the dogs.

That's how I feel to put in details. Be abuse, I'm sorry your privileged ass wasnt assaulted or bullied enough to talk in such a degrading way about a victim (fictional or not). It's like the people that reason with a rape victim "you're afraid men? I was raped too, I'm not afraid."

When I tell them they are privileged, they become defensive. Because it is. You don't use your trauma to reason with people but to shut them off and say "see? I went through it, I know what it looks like so shut the fuck up."

Oh gosh, well at least you know someone (me) wished you experienced worse to see if we could compare trauma more if you want to compare so much. If you want to compare, elevate the trauma, never talk down.

I hate it when people do that. Some adult told my sister to stop being depressed because worse things exist in the world. Uhm, fuck you. I spoke to the woman the same night. What kind of fucked up person do you have to be? Oh, suddenly my sister would forget all the problems that made her depressed.

It doesn't work that way. Ironically, the woman supports death penalties of gays in those Muslim countries. People are fucked up. It's always those that act nice that say the most fucked up shit or support the most heinous crimes.

I still can't get over the fact that people compare genocides to Death Eaters. My baby was traumatized to the core. Trauma leads to irrational and radical decisions. Literally nobody, nobody experienced so much as Severus Snape. Not Remus, not Sirius, not Harry, not Tom, not Regulus, not Neville, and not Lily.

If you compare to degrade a victim, fuck you. Now, I'm not saying the others had it rainbows and sunshine either. Just not as horrible as Snape. That is the truth. I don't dismiss their problems either. The others found everything they needed at Hogwarts or had it had home. Snape had none of those. So keep your shit to yourself I guess.

[mysicklove-main]

"I could kill you in a heartbeat."

Akaza bites back a smile, turning to you with a blank expression, as if he was annoyed. "Threatening me again?"

You let out a cat-like grin, and he raises his eyebrows, knowing something ridiculous is about to come out of your mouth. "They are thinking about making me a Hashira, ya know. I would be afraid if I were you, Akaza."

You close your eyes, satisfied with your cocky words, and rest your head on his crossed knee. You kick one leg over the other and hum to yourself, waiting for his next words. The mischievous smile hasn't fallen from your face and he's staring at it, his own matching grin pulling at his lips. Your antics always do amuse him, whether he likes it or not.

"What a strange thing for them to do, all considering you haven't touched a Nichirin sword in your puny lifetime." He places the tip of his finger on your jaw, the sharp, red nail slightly digging into your skin. A small reminder that he is a demon, and you are not. Probably another ridiculous act of physical dominance that you couldn't be bothered by.

You aren't phased by his strange actions anymore. The way he kisses you and purposely bites your lip to show off his fangs, the way his grip on your wrist sometimes is just a little too hard, or when he truly does get upset and shows you just a glimpse of what his opponents see that sends a shiver down your spine. He is trying to scare you, probably away from him.

You love him too much to go anywhere, even if he is afraid of himself. What is best is to ignore it, he seems to relax whenever you don't react to it. Act normal. You hold onto the finger with your own and continue to poke fun at him. "Way to ruin the mood. Mentioning how much older you are than me, you pervert."

"Deflecting now, are we?" He says, now tapping on your cheek. He seems to relax again and instead indulges your words.

You sigh dramatically. "I guess it can't be helped. I am in love with a pervert. And a demon non the less."

He scoffs at you, but he's smiling. You can hear it in the tone of his voice. "You are of age, stop whining. Besides, don't act like you didn't cling to me first. Maybe I'm the one getting taken advantage of. "

You gasp at him, and he barks a small laugh. He exposes his fangs, and his eyes hold a light in them. He is always pouting, it's nice to see him smile every once in a while.

"Sorry you know I have a thing for men who have blue-striped di—"

A hand covers your mouth in an instant and he shakes his head, as if disappointed. "And you think I'm the pervert."

You lick the palm of his hand and he pulls away with a disgusted groan. His snide comment makes you laugh, and play into it. "You know I can't help it with you."

He peers at you with amusement, but his mouth remains in a hard line. "You're gross."

"You love it."

He blinks at you and stares for a long second as if he was assessing your face. The corners of his mouth creep upward, and he lets out a breathless sigh. "Yeah. Guess so."

[boysluts]

Sanji is quite the talker, isn't he?

..intentional, or not, you can't help but find how amusing it is overhearing him rant about how perfect women are.

Amusing as it is, it makes you wonder if he'd be into a boy, A boy like you anyway.. Unlike sanji you're not very talkative you're rather shy around most, you're excellent in battle, of course

You're extremely knowledgeable like Robin too, so.. that's cool..you guess..

You're also a very talented dancer, if you don't say so yourself!

All these things you may be, but none of them are what you're wanting to be.

It's stupid, and hopeless you think.

Is there any reason you should be chasing a man that is most definitely straight? What will you benefit from loitering around and getting your heart broken?

What the fuck. Love is so hard, it's so confusing, it's annoying.

It's pointless, he doesn't know you, you'd be surprised if he'd know your favourite colour.

Which would be a shocker anyway, seeing as he has no need to study you as you do him.

Fuck him.

Fuck his adoring personality.

Fuck his godforsaken body.

Fuck his pretty face.

..You'd definitely fuck him...

Sometimes you wonder how much of a manic idiot you look to robin, groping your hair out of your skull and silent screaming..probably RIDICULOUS.

Vinsmoke Sanji, Fuck you. Stupid lover boy.

....

What you don't know, or notice because your a hopeless romantic, is that Sanji is often times watching over you.

Any sudden movement you make his eyes follow

..just..to....make sure you don't hurt yourself! Because why else would he be staring at you? Hahahahah.. he doesn't swing that way..

He doesn't swing that way, but he does as a matter of fact know your favourite colour.

He doesn't swing that way, but he adores the pink tint that appears on your cheeks when he slings his arm over your shoulder.. or looks into your eyes while he expresses his interest in a new recipe he's found..

He doesn't swing that way, but, why can't he stop thinking of you?

He doesn't swing that way, but why can't he fight the fact he DOES want you? And not just in a friend's way..

Vinsmoke Sanji that stupid lover boy, He doesn't swing that way, but he would definitely fuck you too.

☆

I'm sorry this is like.. so dookie, but I'm so bored & no one really requests anything so I've just gotta scorch things up from somewhere.. over the rainbow! I'm glad people actually come to enjoy the few things I've posted . . . And y'all shouldn't be afraid of requesting things.. though, I do understand, I don't even post allat much (I NEED IDEAS PLEASE FEED ME 🙁🙁)

Anyway! Have a good day, evening afternoon or night wherever you are! — and thank you from stumbling across this blog ♡

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

Astyanax procrastinates a little that thing about going to save his baba in the same very way I'm procrastinating my thesis a little

Enjoy the snippet

Astyanax was afraid.

He was just a boy after all, so he postponed his departure from Troy a few hours. Enough time to eat something, gather his belongings and clear his head.

He cooked whatever fish he had left, sit at the beach, looking at where the city once stand, lost in thought.

"Would you be so kind to share some food with these old man?"

The boy jumped and coughed, as the bite he was chewing almost shock him.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Said the gray haired man.

"And somehow I believe you". Answered Astyanax. "Please sit with me and suit yourself, if not, it would go to waste."

"That would be tragic."

"Indeed."

The stranger took a site at the other side of the little fire, yet Astyanax didn't pay much mind, distracted as he was. That didn't mean he wasn't ready to run away at the very first sign of danger from the old man, but sharing a fish wasn't much of an effort.

The Trojan ruins stood tall in the distance, making Astyanax sad for something he couldn't quiet place. Can you be sad for something you don't remember? Is there such thing as homesickness for a place that was never home? And yet he had spent a week alone wandering in his homeland, and he had known peace there.

"Did you know that those walls were built by Poseidon and Apollo themselves?" The old man's voice brought him back.

"I can't say I have heard that story," replied Astyanax with amusement, "would you tell me more?"

"Would you accept it as payment for the meal?"

"The meal was given freely, but you can pay with your story if that's your wish." Assured the kid.

The old man had a soft expression when he looked at the walls, Astyanax dared to think that he saw something similar to pride in his eyes.

"For irrelevant reasons to this story", started the man, "the two gods were punished by Zeus to live as mortals for a year, and looked for work here, at Troy. The king at that moment wasn't a fair man, and ignorant to the fact he was treating with gods, he only hired the two of them to build the walls."

"That's definitely some shitty behaviour right there."

"Language."

"Right, sorry. Please keep going."

"The king gave them a year to complete the work, but they did not relent. Poseidon was skilled in the ways of the rock, and Apollo was a diligent work partner. Together, they make the walls grow more and more everyday. The year passed and there was only a thin gap in the wall that could have been done in an hour, but the king said the work wasn't completed in time so there was no payment. And the gods left."

"Let me guess," said Astyanax, with a mischievious smile, "because Zeus' sentence was over, they have regained their power, and make the king face the consequences of his actions."

"You're correct, more or less." The old man confirmed. "I remember when Troy was in its full glory, what a beautiful place it was."

"I don't know, maybe." Melancholy was back in Astyanax's face.

"What's wrong? You are young, but your eyes are old, my boy."

"I...I guess that's a good way to put it. I was born at the war", confessed Astyanax, "but I'm too young to remember Troy, or anything related."

"And yet, here you are."

"Not by choice." Muttered the kid to himself, the old man heard him, but didn't say anything. "Did Apollo came back to Troy?"

"He did," answered the old man, "he sided with the Trojans. The Acheans had disrespect him, and Zeus was telling him to do so." When he said that, Astyanax snorted. "What's so funny about it?

"It's just...the gods, they are gods, yes, but they are also... people, emotional people. I'm sure he even cursed the Achean Camp, just to because he could."

"Something like that."

"See? People."

"Maybe you're right."

"Talking about people, were you there? At the war?"

"I was," the answer was concise, "why?"

"Did you ever meet Hector of Troy?"

There was a silence.

"You could say that, why the question?"

"Could you tell me what was he like?"

"Wise," the answer came quickly, "he was wise, and honourable. He was trying to do the right thing in a time no one was listening." The old man stood up, having finished his food. "I'll leave you to it, thanks for the company, and the meal."

"Thanks you for the stories." Replied Astyanax.

Despite his own words, the old man made no move to leave.

"Your bow, did you make it?"

"Yes, I did, why?"

"It's a good bow, I'm sure every arrow you shoot with it will land right in its target."

"Thank you, that's so kind..." Astyanax stopped talking, because somehow, while he was looking at his bow, the old man had disappeared. " Of you."

He shook his head, trying to calm himself. He was sure he didn't imagine the encounter, the fishbones the stranger had taken out of his food were still there, in a little neat pile. Even the sand where he were was disrupted.

Whatever, he was no threat and meant no harm. Astyanax finished his meal and stood up to put out the fire.

He had spent enough time among ghosts, time to go looking for the living.

[insomniaflarrow]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the tag @elodiah! :D

I've done some extensive plotting and realised that I have to cut a massive chunk out of my chapter to make everything work, so instead of letting it go to waste I'm dropping some of it below the cut!

Loki nods curtly, miffed expression dissolving back into careful neutrality, rehearsed. "I don’t want to fight. I’m just trying to put this in a way that makes my stance clear, but I'm afraid it will likely go against your own."

"I'm guessing from what we've talked about that your stance is I should give up on you," Mobius mumbles.

The stream is the only answer he receives, and it's enough. When he takes in the sight of him, here and not here, he drinks it in as if it might be the final time. The downtilt of his chin as he angles his eyes away. The fold of the cloak over his shoulders, falling down and away into nothingness near his knees, the end of the timelines just about visible, fraying into the edges of his clothing. The way he's placed his hands in his pockets, elbows tucked close as if it would be a sin to take up more space, to overflow in any manner beyond the small illusion he contains his entire being in.

"Are you going to let me stop you?" Mobius asks. He doesn't fight his case on the leaving, not on the technical side of things. He lost that argument long ago, and has been holding the front of an onslaught solo.

Loki presses his lips together. "I don't know." His voice is a small thing, bravado laid to waste.

"You said that the only thing that might've stopped you first time was me asking you not to go." Had Loki been here, Mobius might have made a grab for him, held his shoulders so he couldn't vanish, so he couldn't slip through his fingers again. But he isn't. So he doesn't. "Now I’m asking you not to go."

If anything, Loki seems physically torn by indecision. Mobius can't help but feel like he's the one taking him apart, desperately wrenching him in the hopes he'll step over the chasm and join him on the same side.

"I wouldn't actually be going anywhere. I'd still be in the Tree. It's not... it's not death."

"Isn't it? You're resigning yourself to existing alone, forever. Sounds like dying to me."

"I exist as much in the form of the universe as here. I'd still be with you."

"But not this you."

"Not this me."

The sun has sunk less than an inch across the sky, but the world seems less bright, a deep blue taking the place of pink. Above the canopy, the clouds Mobius saw earlier have finally crept their way overhead, casting their grove in darkness.

"I'd remove myself into another pocket dimension, to throw He-Who-Remains off, and converse with your TVA department within that time. When we are satisfied that we have rid ourselves of that threat, at least for the time being, I will remain as custodian of the Tree for the foreseeable future. Forever," he reiterates, shutting down all Mobius' old arguments about long-distant solutions that could crop up.

"I still don't understand why, Loki. I don't... I don't get it." He pinches the bridge of his nose, battling the tension headache threatening to override any inhibitions he's managed to retain.

Loki's expression has softened. "I'm worried about you."

And, oh, Mobius did not expect that. He shakes his head. "What –"

"We've both been existing like this for so long, I think you've forgotten that it doesn't have to be like this. This... perpetual cycle of goodbyes. Or pretending it's not a goodbye. You will save me from the Tree, and something will draw me back." His smile is distinctly marked with woe. "I don't want to keep pretending not to say farewell forever."

"And I don't want to say it in the first place. Loki, I don't know what I'd do without you. I've never –" he chokes back something that definitely isn't his voice threatening to give out on him, a decade's worth of grief finally finding its home, "– I've never had to do this without you. I don't know how."

The corners of Loki's eyes crinkle, ever so soft. "That's the problem. You’ve got to try. I owe you that chance.”

It slams into him, all at once, a comprehension of where this is going to end, and elicits an intolerable kind of fear. The kind that drives to deliration. “No,” he says, as though wounded. He repeats himself, this time incensed, his rage building and suspending somewhere between ribcage and his tongue, because Loki is still blinking at him sadly, entire face cast in fondness. “You’re not leaving.”

Loki’s expression doesn’t falter, anchored in endearment. Mobius can’t tear his eyes away, even as he continues, so it feels maddeningly like he’s tearing into someone who would let him do so forever. His voice levels off, dangerously calm. “I’m not letting you go. I’m not.”

No pressure tagging @blackbirdofasgard @kcscribbler @lokimobius @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @megglesthegeek @mobiusismycomfortcharacter @thosegayoldmen plus open tag for anyone who'd like to share :D

[astral-realities]

Hello again! New questions bc im really curious! How much do you all identify with your puppets and their appearances? Are they more of a tool for you or are they significant for your sense of self? I've noticed that your appearances somewhat reflect your personalities, was this a design choice made by your architects or have you been adjusting looks along the way by yourselves? (I know Habitually Stargazing did a little, the dress looks really pretty on you btw!) Im particularily fascinated by the antennas! Im guessing you don't use them much having a hard-wire connection to the rest of your superstructures, right? (perhaps they would be more practical when communicating with visitors in your chambers? I don't know..) Im seeing a sort of analogy between animal motifs in ancient art and masks and those retro-looking antenna resembling those used with older technology, though I might be wrong.. I'd be thrilled to know whether these hold any cultural / traditional signifincance among machines alike!

Also I'd love to know more about your serial numbers! What do they mean, and do you more identify with them or with your names?

Finally, Flowers - a creature for you

It's an umbrella slug, hiding under it's umbrella!

Hope you all have a wonderfull day, looking forward to hear from you!

SDA: Oh! While the exact details might vary from case to case, I would say that it's a bit of both - the puppet is a tool tied to an iterator's sense of self.

SDA: The puppet is only a small part of yourself, but it represents you as a whole. You .. used it to communicate with your citizens, you use it to communicate with your peers. Others start to see *you* in this form. The more you use it, the more you begin to identify with it. With time, its image truly becomes yours.

SDA: From our creators' perspective, it might have been a matter of needing an interface to interact with us. It seemed to be more natural to speak with something that you can actually look in the face.

SDA: Another important fact is that the puppet is by far the most expressive part of our bodies. Our biological elements can be somewhat controlled by our programming, but it cannot fully override them - there will always be a living, sentient being deep below.

SDA: One that has its own emotions, preferences, opinions; one that wants to express itself. The puppet serves as an outlet for that. It can gesticulate, it allows you to convey how you feel in a way that's understandable to most.

TFB: It would've probably been easier for them if we couldn't think for ourselves. Just tell us what to do and we do it until the end of time, no questions asked.

TFB: Instead, they chose to fully depend on something with an *attitude*! Some really tried their best to keep good relations with their iterator, afraid of putting it in a bad mood...

SDA: Yes, I suppose...

SDA: Some of us might pay greater attention to the puppet's appearance, adjusting it to our own tastes, mostly with clothes and accessories. Fashion was important in our creators' culture, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for an iterator to request a new robe or a necklace. Some took matters into their own hands.

SDA: ... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ramble on like this.

BROS: Don't you dare, it's always nice hearing you so passionate about something~

BROS: About the antennae - you're right, they're not as powerful as the equipment in the rest of the structure! They're decent for close-range stuff, and they're what you'd resort to in case of an emergency.

BROS: Like, somehow losing access to the rest of your body. The puppet can't do much on its own, but thanks to these, it would be able to communicate with anything near it.

BROS: Aaand they were mostly another way for the architect to visualize whatever concept they had for a puppet.

HS: I'm almost offended by the "retro" remark. As far as I'm concerned, these are state-of-the-art.

BROS: Sure, sure~

BROS: Finally, as for the model numbers. They represent the architect's name, the cycle when the project was officially completed, and the name of the project at that time, like this:

BROS: Nobody really identifies with this, it's mostly used in paperwork - maybe some database stuff. Even if two iterators were given the same name, it's extremely unlikely they also had the same creator *and* creation date, so it allows for telling us apart that way.

HS: The name that appears in your model number isn't truly binding either. Such as...

TFB: Come on now, don't put them on the spot like that.

SDA: ...

SDA: It's fine...

SDA: Originally, I was called "Visions of Serenity", you'll see me in databases as GTIAOT672005VOS.

SDA: I was renamed shortly after, due to some... rather unfortunate coincidence.

SDA: It really doesn't matter now.

---

TFB: Also, thank you so much!! I don't get to see many marine species around these parts, this is lovely!

HS: (...and thank you...)