#i guess there is something to be said in the repression of seeing yourself portrayed as the villain only

[goldenspirits]

Marco and Polo TVGLOW are very... Queer coded, in a way that I cannot quite articulate. They just hit that "Hays Code Era Queer Coded Villain" spot in my brain, you know?

[entomolog-t]

My personal favourite trope is giant finding hurt tiny and nursing back to health with initial fear from tiny and eventually trusting that the giant won't hurt them

Me logging into tumblr and seeing all you little stinkers sitting in my office waiting for a trope analysis.

Lets do this!!!

This trope is such a comfort trope for me as well.

Alright lets divide this into our two different Archetypes (Giant and Tiny)

Tiny

If you find yourself picturing yourself as the tiny there is a high chance you may be struggling/overwhelmed but have difficulties asking for help. Visualizing ones self as hurt tends to remove some level of freedom (freedom of movement, as well as it being more morally acceptable for someone to impose their will on you given its for your own safety) and thus the fantasy allows for you to get the help you want without having to ask for it. As with most G/t fantasies, there is likely a longing for deep connection and intimacy seen with the shared journey of building trust. The injury could be a symbolic manifestation of the subconscious mind in some cases, although I'm not too sure how common that would be. Even so, I would take the time to analyze the type of injury and what the giant does to both help the injury as well as build the trust.

For example; An injury that effects mobility might suggest a more dire yearning for help, as the imagery you're creating is physically stopping you from running away. The same could be said if you envision a more forceful giant who disregards your emotions for your own safety. The Giant forcing their help on you may be a projection from the subconscious, as a way of saying your fear of asking for help is less important than your need for help.

Our subconscious really does like projection and metaphores, but it is crucial you identify what certain symbols mean to you. Its easy to guess basic symbols for the general public. Almost everyone will see spiders symbolically as a threat or danger, but you need to take yourself into account. I personally love spiders, thus my subconscious imagery might not use them to portray a threat, and might pick something more true to my personal experience.

Giant

Finding an injured tiny has very obvious themes of a desire to help others, be seen as kind, and seeking for your intentions to be understood. I think this trope tends to project a lot of desiring for ones true self to be acknowledges, and a fixation on this trope might imply that that need is not being met in your day to day life.

A less obvious projections that may occur is how one visualizes the tiny. It is very likely that even if you imagine yourself as the giant there is some degree of projection of yourself in the injured tiny. In my opinion, the two most likely projections would be aspects of ones shadow, or parts of you that want to heal from some sort of damage.

The shadow is an interesting concept and although in previous sessions I haven't referred to it in name, some keen readers may have picked up on the implications. Essentially the shadow is a manifestation of repressed traits and desires. We tend to mask aspects of our own personal shadow, but simultaneously and subconsciously (mostly) project them onto others. Given that we are envisioning the tiny in a weak state, there is likely to be some form of projection of traits we may find weak in ourselves.

Healing desires are a little more obvious, where one may project a part of you that was hurt onto the tiny, and work through that emotional pain in the fantasy.

----

My secretary has informed me that my cliental have been avoiding paying their bills. Tsk tsk.

[rpfofficial]

pls elaborate on honey this mirror.... the title is increediblyy transgender yeag but im not immediately seeing it in the rest ... u could convince me though i think

Ok so im not going to post a voice note cos i sound literally insane i dont know if i sound any saner now that ive typed it all out but like. HOPEFULLY THIS MAKES SENSE you asked for me to convince you so heres a whole ass mini essay sorry do u still think im hot.  this got so long kill me now. ENJOY <33

To preface this: in almost all the songs that i think are about transgenderism, the struggle with gender and identity is often portrayed as a struggle in a relationship with a lover (usually a female lover), which is pretty apparent in drowning lessons + the demolovers in three cheers for sweet revenge, and in this song. At least in my opinion. 

so honey this mirror isnt big enough, on a surface level is about a toxic/failing relationship. but like i said i feel like this “other side” of gerard, or of i guess the narrator/singer, the feminine side, the “girl within” is often depicted as  a lover or a companion of some sort. the title of this song is what gives it away for me because if u ignore the title then obviously the song is just about a relationship, but because its called honey this mirror isnt big enough for the two of us it feels like gerard is just singing to themself. Its not about any relationship, its about gerards relationship with HIMSELF, or with this other side of him, this other half (the woman in the demolition lovers, the victim in drowning lessons).

Me and ryan did a LOT of trans readings of mcr songs yesterday and the day before, and to like put it down to its essentials: a lot of the songs on bullets + revenge have this idea that theres this “girl” that gerard/the narrator wants to be or is somehow on the inside, and hes scared of her or he sees her as something he must kill or repress. at least at the beginning. which is why in drowning lessons i think the “she” that he kills is himself, and i think this is then repeated in honey this mirror isnt big enough, but instead of it being a murder, hes just trying to break up with her.

ryan put it quite well in this discord message they sent me: “he's pushing the girl out of his mind (out of the mirror)” “like im breaking up with you. we're over. i dont care how much you cry, i dont care how much i mean to you, this time i mean it. we're not doing this again (and then she comes back because she always, always, always comes back)” 

honey this mirror really reflects a problem that i think a lot of trans people struggle with at first, which is: if i embrace this side of me, if i come out, it could ruin my relationships with other people. I’ll become a different person, what if they wont love me anymore. so like when gerard says to this “girl” ‘you cant touch my brother / you cant keep my friends’ thats the idea of “shit if im transgender ill lose the people closest to me”, which is depressing but really realistic in that i know ive thought like that a lot in the past. I think he gets past this and thats shown in danger days and hesitant alien (gerards solo album) but i wont go into that now lol.

 and then right after that they sing “we’re not working out / this time i mean it / never mind the times ive seen it’, ‘it’ being the times they HAVE worked out. But in this song its like gerard is lying to themself, theyre ignoring the times this “relationship” has made them happy cos theyre letting fear and self hatred drown out the positive emotions this “girl” this “lover” has created in them. 

Then the pinnacle to this interpretation is the lyrics ‘well i find it hard to stay / with the words you say / oh baby let me in’. Thats the girl, thats gerards reflection saying ‘let me in’ like: embrace me love me you need me dont let me go dont do this to me dont do this to yourself, which gerard ignores because hes determined to end it. but because the outro is a repeat of ‘oh baby let me in’ i think this is what ryan meant with “she always always always comes back”, just like in drowning lessons “all the times ive killed you”: ive killed you so many times but you come back every time, ive broken up with you so many times but in the end i always let you back in. like this is a constant internal struggle that if you only listen to bullets and revenge seems to have a bad ending, but it actually has a happy ending because eventually gerard/the narrator embraces this woman, this other half, and doesnt regret it. 

The end thank you for coming to my ted talk i hope i got my point across. It might be a bit of a stretch but i definitely stand by this interpretation godbles

[17tetsuro]

could u do fake dating headcanons where they slowly fall for u w atsumu, kenma & oikawa,, gn pronounces are fine :)

haikyuu boys slowly falling for you (fake dating edition) (gn!reader)

feat: atsumu, kenma, oikawa

warnings: fake dating, abuse of cliche tropes and commas and question marks, timeskip setting because im anything but creative, swearing

requests are open!

a/n: thank you for requesting this!! i hope you like it :D

atsumu

* you’ve been friends with him ever since high school and you watched his career grow

* youre both equally proud of each other n your friendship is built on mutual respect, trust and love

* you basically live in his apartment, with how much time you spend over there

* he would complain 24/7 about not having anyone to go to events with

* at one point you wanted to strangle him for never shutting up about it so you propose you go with him from time to time

* atsumu: “yeah, that was a setup”

* he KNOWS you’re drop dead gorgeous and everyone will be jealous of him that you’re with him (and you also look very good in formalwear, which he very much enjoys)

* and you get to have free food and drinks and also wear immaculate expensive clothes

* so,, you became his regular date for sponsorship events and stuff

* and you never really outright said you were just friends?? so you’re used to the media portraying you two as lovers but your close circle is aware that your relationship is platonic

* everything was going great until one of his sponsor company’s heir started hitting on you

* atsumu saw you flirting with the person and his mind went blank

* he,, he didn’t understand why he wanted to commit multiple crimes on the spot

* bokuto conveniently showed up next to atsumu at that moment

“hey, atsumu? why is your date flirting with them?” bokuto asked, suddenly appearing next to atsumu, which startled the latter out of his thoughts.

a better question would be why atsumu saw red at the thought of you getting friendly with anyone but him that night. he tried his best to keep his composure, but it was hard when you rested a hand on the heir’s shoulder, leaning your head back while laughing.

“atsumu, are you not going to answer me? your lover is-“

“my what?” atsumu asked, attention now completely off you.

“your lover? is that a term you don’t like? i could say partner... significant other... or anything you want, really,” bokuto answered, apologizing.

“you- you think me and (y/n) are together?”

“aren’t you? what, with the way you look at each other i was convinced you two were like... high school sweethearts or something, who hate pda,” bokuto explained, while atsumu’s eyes trailed back to you.

“you think... you think they’d wan’ me?”

“are you blind, buddy?”

you must have sensed their gazes, because as soon as those words left bokuto’s mouth, your eyes snapped towards atsumu and bokuto. the latter started waving with a cheerful smile while the former just stood, entranced by you and your presence. atsumu noticed traces of confusion appearing on your face, and watched as you excused yourself from the conversation you were previously interested in.

“‘tsumu, are you alright?” you questioned, approaching the pair. bokuto grinned and left, which made you even more confused.

“yeah, i’m fi- fine. hey, uh, (y/n), say... do you- why did you offer to come to these events as my date?” atsumu asked, eyes dead set on yours. you cracked a confused smile. you seemed to be capable of nothing but confusion at the moment.

“because you’re my best friend and i hated to see you so down because of your loneliness at these gatherings,” you replied, holding his gaze. “why didn’t you oppose it?”

his eyes studied you and when he saw nothing but sincerity, he let out a loud sigh. this was all very new and confusing to him. it’s like bokuto calling you atsumu’s lover set off a bomb inside his head that instead of causing a mess, made everything fall into place; why his gaze seemed to linger on you more often than before, why he was so eager to choose your outfits for these events, why he went to parties he didn’t even have to attend, why he got so jealous and angry when he saw you with the cute heir.

“holy shit,” he breathed and ran his hands through his hair, letting out a nervous chuckle and lowering his gaze to the ground. “holy shit.”

“you look like you’ve been enlightened, and i love that for you, but ‘tsumu, i’m still very confused.”

“i’m in love with you,” he said in disbelief, and quickly snapped his eyes back to your face when he realized he said it out loud. “i- i mean- i’m not in love with you, no way in hell, you’re- you’re my best friend, you- you smack my head whenever i say somethin’ inappropriate, you keep me from underminin’ myself, you always lift my spirits and for fuck’s sake, please, stop lookin’ at me like that because i will be getting hopeful and if you’re just joking, i will never hear the end of it and-“

you finally hd enough of his rambling and cut him off with a kiss. at first he froze, but seconds later he melted into your embrace, hands sneaking around your waist, pulling you closer.

when your lips separated, atsumu gasping for air after his word vomit and the long kiss you shared, you spoke up. “miya atsumu, you’re a real dumbass, you know that?”

his breath hitched and you kept quiet for a second to let him suffer a bit.

“but you’re my dumbass. i love you, you absolute piece of work.”

atsumu honest to god giggled and leaned in for another kiss, which you gave him without hesitation.

somewhere in the room, bokuto was collecting the money sakusa promised to give him if he got you two to kiss.

kenma

* kenma and you are both twitch streamers with similar content so you knew of each other but weren’t properly introduced

* until one of your mutual friends invited you both to stream among us with them

* you obv accepted

* so during the 3 hr stream, you and kenma were imposters together a lot and had the biggest, most twisted imp plays

* a friendly competition broke out at one point, too, trying to see who exposed the most impostors between the two of you

* your fans ate your dynamic up

* from then on, you two interacted more and started to appear in each others’ streams

* kenma even invited you to his minecraft smp

* you became besties basically

* SO

* all fun and games

* and then a huge sponsorship opportunity rolled in

* and the people at the company assumed you were dating

* uh oh

* you couldnt just tell them they have it wrong bc the whole thing depended on your relationship

* so

* big brain kenma suggest you two start to “date”

* you were against deceiving your followers but kenma assured you you could have a public breakup and tell everyone you were better off as friends

* so you reluctantly agreed

* it was only for two months anyways, what could go wrong?

* both of you, on week 3, in separate discord calls: uh oh, im in l*ve

* you both tried to cope (read: repress everything) but the realization on both of your parts threw your dynamic off a bit and fans have noticed

* so you had to do something abt it

* so kenma suggested you try your hand at a minecraft challenge together

* it was all fun and games until it wasnt

* you somehow ended up flirting back and forth ????

* chat was goin crazy, even in sub only mode

* both of you: ha ha im in danger

* when the stream ended, you stayed on call, because that was a routine you stuck to no matter what

“so... how are you doing?” you asked kenma, trying to clear the awkwardness from the air.

“good.”

maybe you should have taken kenma’s refusal to talk about anything into account when initiating conversation.

kenma, on the other end of the call was anxiously playing with his fingers, trying to figure out if his chat was right, and you were indeed flirting with him. and him with you. god.

“hey, y/n,” kenma said after a while, “were you flirting with me?”

his bluntness startled you and you had to mute yourself for a few seconds while you collected yourself.

“is there a correct answer?” you asked hesitantly.

“yes.”

“oh... uhm, maybe? it wasn’t intentional. or maybe it was, subconsciously, i don’t know,” you admitted quietly.

“good. it was intentional on my part, i think,” and okay, that was not the reply you expected to hear.

“really?”

“yeah, i- i like you i guess,” he said, sounding more confident by the minute. “do you like me too?”

“i- yeah. i do. i like you, kenma,” you replied, sighing a breath of relief. it felt good to admit it aloud to him.

“do you- would you maybe want to come over?” he asked sheepishly, which made absolutely no sense because he sounded so confident a second ago. “we could play mario kart?”

you let the beaming smile you were holding back take over your face. “i’ll be there in 10, kenma.”

“i’ll be waiting for you.”

oikawa

* on god mans hated your guts

* like,, okay, you were iwa’s close friend but you were so annoyingly honest all the time

* it drove him mad

* what also drove him mad is the fact that you loved to tease him

* no matter what the circumstance, whether he was in japan or in argentina, you always found a way to make him blush

* okay so maybe hate is a strong word, because he kind of thought you were pretty, but in a platonic way

* dumbass

* iwa always give both of you shit for not liking each other

* so you came up with a big brain idea

* you: ”oikawa! we should date!”

* oikawa: “what”

* after you explained the concept of fake dating to him and its benefits (which included a staged dramatic breakup, giving you both a reason to hate each other without iwa complaining)

* he was totally down

* iwa, when he first saw you holding hands: “i knew it”

* SO!! thus began weeks of pretending to be in love with each other for the sake of iwa

* which turned from pretending to not pretending real quick for your liking

* falling in love with oikawa was not a plan of yours

* (falling in love with you wasn’t his, either)

* with iwa’s constant nagging of “i knew it, you both were head over heels for each other from the moment you met”, the time for the breakup came quicker than expected (maybe you both had enough. so what.)

* you agreed to do it in front of iwa so he could see it happen

* you chose a mcdonalds parking lot, because then you could storm off and iwa would follow you to make sure you were ok and oikawa could go home and sleep

* maybe winging it was not the best idea

“babe,” you said with venom, “haven’t i told you a thousand times that i do not want to hear about your exes? seriously, it’s like the only thing you talk about,” you complained, as your fake-boyfriend took a sip from his drink.

“well, babe,” his tone matching yours, “i would shut up about them if took the hint sometimes. maybe i don’t like going to the movies as much as you seem to, it’s boring,” he rolled his eyes, subtly glancing at iwa, who looked very uncomfortable third wheeling your argument. good

“jerk. i don’t even want to go to the movies that much, asshole,” you spat, crushing your empty cup in your hand.

“oh, you want to go to the movies plenty. face it, (y/n), you’re boring. no wonder you didn’t have a boyfriend before me,” he replied and his words, even though you knew were fake, still hit hard and you couldn’t help the tears gathering in your eyes.

“okay, then, thanks for these wonderful past few weeks, so glad you decided to take pity on me.” you tried to keep acting, encouraging yourself with the fact that if oikwa meant what he said, you wouldn’t have to talk to him if iwaizumi finally saw you two break up.

you expected a lot of things, but genuineness in oikawa’s eyes was not one of them.

“(y/n), i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it like that,” oikawa pleaded, clearly forgetting about your mutual goal.

with a mumbled whatever, you started walking home, letting the sunset wash over your face. when you knew you were out of sight, you sat down on a bench and just started crying.

you don’t know how much time passed, but you heard a voice behind you speak up.

“hey (y/n).”

“what the fuck do you want, oikawa? to rub in the fact that my first boyfriend was just faking it so his best friend would get off his back? leave me alone, jerk,” you said, trying to wipe your tears away.

“i- i didn’t mean it like that, please, believe me,” he replied, taking a seat next to you. you scooted away from him. he sighed.

“why would i believe you? why do you want to make up, anyways? this fight was pretty real, no way iwaizumi didn’t believe it,” you sniffed.

“because maybe... maybe i was very happy about the fact that i could be your boyfriend, even if it was fake. maybe i’m in love with you,” he said softly, leaning towards you.

“please, stop playing games. it’s over,” you replied, trying very hard to ignore the raw emotion in his voice as he spoke.

“i really am, (y/n). i wasn’t at first, i admit it, but now i am. i love you, please, believe me,” he begged and you finally made eye contact with him. eyes were mirrors of the soul, after all.

you studied his face for a few minutes, looking for anything that could indicate he was trying to pull a shit prank on you, but you found nothing.

“asshole. maybe i’m in love with you too, what would you do if i said that?” you asked, wiping your nose with your sleeves.

“kiss you.”

“do it, then, i guess. but you’re still not completely forgiven.”

“what do i have to do to earn your forgiveness, (y/n)?” he asked and you sent him a mischievous smile.

“take the blame for this whole fiasco with iwaizumi.” he froze at your words and visibly gulped, but nodded nonetheless.

“okay, i will. can i kiss you now?”

you rolled your eyes. “yeah.”

and he did.

[maxdark158]

Day 4: Gaming

This is for the 2019 Daminette December, I’m super late but I don’t care cause I’m writing at least.

Daminette December Series on AO3 Day 1 ~ Day 2 ~ Day 3

Damian is invited to play video games.

When he had first gotten the texts, he was fully prepared to ignore it. He opened it by accident, never replied, even considered blocking the number.

Annoying Blonde Fuck: Be there or be square!

Damian Wayne did not, in fact, want to be there. He was perfectly content with being “square” as the blonde so eloquently put, but Alfred somehow found out. The butler made him go, something about socializing being good for him right now. Damian strongly disagreed, but there was no arguing with Alfred. It was simply impossible.

He did attempt though, pointing out that they were in Gotham and he needed to be in Paris by tomorrow. But all that did was get him into Paris with plenty of time for himself before he was to “be there”.

He considered lying, saying he did go there while just wandering the streets. But that’d be stupid, he lives in a family of detectives. One of them would be smart enough to ask if he was actually there. Then they’d start asking if he’s okay again and Dick will be annoying about it and I’m fine stop asking leave me alone.

He didn’t want to think about it, and maybe he was worried coming here would cause that.

Fucking Hell.

Damian spent the extra hours in his hotel room. Being in Paris brought a sick taste to his mouth. It kept reminding him of don’t think about it don’t think about her it just hurts it’ll distract you just stop.

When the time he was supposed to “be there” arrived, he finally left. He didn’t care if he was late. Maybe if he was late enough the annoying fuck would cancel.

The apartment was modest and small. He paid for it out of his trust fund and was going to college. Damian did begrudgingly admit that he seemed to be doing well for a superhero who’s father was a city wide terrorist with magical powers.

That didn’t mean he wanted to hang out with him.

He knocked on the door quietly. Maybe if he didn’t hear Damian could give the excuse that he didn’t think he was home.

The door opened. There goes that fucking plan, greaat.

”Wait you actually showed up?!” The blonde’s eyes lit up. “I didn’t think you were going to.” I was forced to. The words were on the tip of his tongue but Damian bit them back. He thought he was annoying but… he was also Angel’s friend. Don’t think about her.

“I don’t know what “be square” means,” Damian replied stiffly. That wasn’t a lie, he didn’t know what it meant. But he also didn’t care.

Agreste laughed. “C’mon in! I have some snacks Mari always sai-“

“Don’t.” Damian bit out. “Just… don’t talk about her please.”

Agreste frowned. He beckoned Damian in and closed the door. “You… Don’t want me to mention her? Why not?”

Don’t think about it don’t think about her- “Just… why’d you invite me here again?”

Agreste was quiet for a moment before gesturing to the TV and controllers set up. “Do you play video games?”

No, he doesn’t.

But he would now to stop other conversation from happening.

---------------------------------------------

“Damn you’re getting good at that one!” Agreste grinned at him.

Damian’s frown deepened. “You beat me.”

“Yeah, but it was a lot closer that time. You took off about 70% of my health instead of none of it!”

Damian rolled his eyes. He’s always been annoying, how does Ange- don’t think about her. How will I put up with him? “Is there a different game we can play?”

“Yeah! I have plenty, take your pick while I grab some food!”

Agreste got up while Damian surveyed the games. They all looked boring and gaudy. People do not naturally look like what these characters portray…

His eyes fell on one that was in a very worn case. Ultimate Mecha Strike 3. Seems the idiot played this one often… Damian picked it up to see what the game was about.

“I’m ba- oh, you picking that one?” his voice got all weird, not as happy as before. Damian wasn’t looking at him, still reading through the back.

“I saw that it was very used and got curious.”

“Ah, that’s cause it’s Nette’s favorite game.”

Damian froze, immediately dropping the box. “I told you not to-“

“Mention her?” Damian looked up and say Agreste frown. “She’s my friend. I can talk about her if I want.”

Damian stood up. “Fine then, do it with yourself because I’m le-“

“I miss her too.”

Damian had turned toward the door when Agreste said that. Don’t think about her.

“I don’t know when she’s coming back, she hasn’t talked to me. I’m guessing she hasn’t talked to you either, huh?”

Damian’s feet stopped moving toward the door.

“So that’s it. You miss her, you miss her so much that you’ve decided to pretend she, what, doesn’t exist to deal with it? Don’t think about her, don’t talk about her, don’t look at anything that reminds you of her?”

“Shut up.”

“That won’t work.” He heard Agreste take a few steps and sit on the couch. He could imagine the cat lounged confidently, eyebrow raised. “My therapist said repression doesn’t work. The more you try not to think about something, the more you will think about it.”

Damian turned around and opened his mouth to argue – it wasn’t repression it was-

“Instead I’ve been honoring her memory and letting myself miss her.”

The words halted in Damian’s mouth.

Agreste leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I talk to her parents at least once a week. I play her favorite games, visit her favorite spots. I get sad, but that’s okay, because I’m happy too. And I think… I hope she’d be proud of me turning missing her into something that makes me remember her. Something that makes me happy.”

“Stop- stop talking about-“

“Her?”

“Her like she’s dead!” Damian’s voice raised and his vision blurred. Agreste didn’t flinch at the growl, at the anger.

“I’m not. She’s just gone.”

“For how long? We don’t know! We don’t know if she’s hurt or-or scared or worse and it’s been over a year and my family all keeps talking about her like she’s not coming back! Like she’s dead!” Damian pressed his palms against his eyes, his throat felt tight, “They keep trying to fucking help like I’ll never see her again!”

“You will though.”

The words weren’t loud. But they snapped through the air like a gunshot. Damian looked at the blonde with shock, as if he were seeing him for the first time.

“I don’t get why they think the worst. Maybe they’re trying to help you prepare for it. But Mari isn’t incapable. She just happens to be late,” Agreste, no, Adrien smiled a bit.

She’s just running a bit late…

Damian didn’t know how to describe the mixture of hope and relief and disbelief running through him. He almost wanted to laugh at the joke, because he’s right. Agrest- Adrien was right. Marinette ran late more often than anything, but she always succeeded at what she put her mind to… His angel was fine.

Just late.

“You know, I actually invited you for her too,” Agre- Adrien chuckled a bit. “She wanted us to get along, so I figured I’d try. She loves you, and she’s my best friend, so you’ll have to get used to me since I’ll be her maid of honor at your wedding.”

Damian let a few chuckles slip there before gaining control of himself.

It was silent for a few moments before Damian’s eyes fell back onto the game he found earlier.

“…Will you show me how to play the Mecha Strike one?”

Adrien beamed.

“I thought you’d never ask!”

[ateezaligned]

How OnlyOneOf portrayed queer relationships and dynamics in libidO, w a hint of good ol’ yearning

(disclaimer: this strictly about the mv and in no way I’m implying these dynamics are translated to real life and their friendships if u suggest that ill kick you, don’t ship real ppl romantically pls)

The storyline of Instinct pt. 1 tell us this album is focused on self-discovery and how young people repress their “urges”, but the way all three subplots play with this concept is super fascinating!

The KB/Yoojung situation (which is my favorite subplot!!): From my point of view, Yoojung and KB show a relationship that is just blossoming. The song starts with tying up Yoojung’s hands, he is being contained, and his lyrics are literally “I’m attracted for no reason”, now I looked up other translations besides the original and it also has to do with being ‘pulled’, like Yoojung is being pulled into this relationship for ‘no reason’, he thinks he needs one to fall in love with another man. Rationalizing your feelings is a way to separate yourself from them. Therefore, Yoojung plays the more hesitant part, he overthinks, his super ego policing strongly what he feels.

On the other hand, KB is seen initiating most of the physical contact between them, and he does it in a way that makes it easy for Yoojung to pull back if he doesn’t want it. KB is also always at least an arm away, inside a comfortable space for Yoojung to reach for him if he wants to. In their first scene of close contact, Yoojung is the one laying his head on KB’s shoulder, and he keeps control of their closeness throughout the whole video, despite KB breaking it with the soft touches we see, such as fixing Yoojung’s hair or putting his hand on his shoulder in the beach scene. And all this gentle-ness contrasts so well, bc we also see KB’s character initiating contact with others! He pulls Junji for a hug when both of them are shirtless and he does it so nonchalantly! It’s obvious he is okay with /more/, but he respects Yoojung’s boundaries and never pushes.

The scooter scene is great, bc we can see Yoojung hugging and pressing their thighs and putting his hands in the air, he feels more carefree, he was able to get past his own inhibitions and it’s so great to see.

So Yoojung and KB's is like a first relationship: you are stepping on eggshells, you don’t know what you’re doing or looking for. A lot of queer people start dating into adulthood, and even with previous ‘straight’ dating experience, everything is so incredibly new! And it’s great but also anxiety inducing and frustrating.

Then, there’s Rie and Junji. A thing I found incredibly interesting is that in every scene of them (except two) they’re already in contact. In the car they’re holding hands, and when they’re hugging and eating lollipops, and back to back in the basketball court, we don’t know who started it, but it doesn’t matter because Junji and Rie are equals and stand on the same ground of mutual love, respect and experience, they’re having fun and smiling at one another, even when they’re playing basketball face to face, their eyes are on each other and its playful and great. Rie has one of the best lyrics in the song that is “I trust youand I accept it”. Junji and Rie don’t need to fight their instincts, really, because they know everything is reciprocated and their libido (not as in sexual drive but as in life energy) is matched in the other, they have trust over everything else, and this can also be shown in the only scene where Rie lays his head on Junji’s back, he’s supporting himself on his partner and Junji accepts it because relationships aren’t only fun but also healing and giving someone a place to rest. And Junji does his part and bandages Rie’s wounds, which @henlex pointed out as a Achilles and Patroclus reference, being these basically the top tier of gay love and companionship, when Patroclus died (represented by Rie), Achilles dies avenging him, asking for their ashes to be mixed so they could be forever one. So yeah, let’s yearn for something like this gays.

Finally, the trio. They’re the first ones to have their solo scenes, and you can see Love in the bathtub, he is naked and exposed, playing with some rosemary leaves (yeah I went to someone and asked them if they recognised the plant leave me alone). Rosemary used to be given to Aphrodite bc it was used as an aphrodisiac. It also represents fidelity. Yeah. So Love is playing with fidelity, basically. Many thoughts were thought.

Then, Nine and Mill are a continuous contrast throughout the mv. While Nine is inside and laying on the floor, cozy and reading, Mill stands outside in the garden looking at the window. I’ve said it before but I think it’s really important the way Mill’s character portrays one of the harsher parts of queerness that is that “other-ness”. You’re just an observant, and you want in and to be yourself with your friends and participate in those rituals, but something inside you doesn’t allow you to. In here, though, is not just ‘I want to identify with my straight friends’ but ‘I want to be free like these other gays, why can’t I do it?’.

Nine and Love’s relationship doesn’t really show a lot of romantic moments, in fact, I can’t really think about something between them that was, intimate and sensual? yes, but not romantic. Which is completely okay. Sex is not something bad, and gay sex is constantly demonized. Casual sex is okay and sex with friends and whatever, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, sex is okay. So to me, Love and Nine are friends, the arm around the neck seemed casual and natural, they’re comfortable with each other, and they’re also comfortable with mill, as shown in the creek scene. They didn’t mind the audience (yeah this sounds kinky ik), both nine and love are pushing the boundaries, unlike kb. But pushing isn’t always wrong, per se.

Nine starts with the lyrics “leave it, libido, we’re like roots (…) mixing together with no rules”, while Love sings “don’t suppress it just accept it”. Both nine and love are clear with their intentions and instincts, their subconscious is not their enemy in any way, since both of them accept the relationship they have.

Meanwhile, Mill battles with his libido, but it’s not like Yoojung who has a partner that actually loves him, if Mill takes the chance and jumps, he doesn’t know where he is going to land. In the whole video, not even once Mill touches someone else, even if he desperately wants to (Yongsoo did a great acting work I’m still so amazed!!). The yearning and pining over Love, who pulls him in and gazes at him, is such a good concept, because even if Love is giving him all the signals that there is (he is with another boy openly, allows close contact and shows himself in front of mill), Mill will still doubt himself and what he is doing. Hesitation and all, he takes a leap of faith in that one scene where he approaches Nine and Love, and keeps eye contact.

Now here is where the controversial crotch grabbing scene comes, and both Love and Nine sing. They say they’re walking over shallow water, so it’s not risky, they’re not gonna drown, and there’s no one around and they just “keep walking”. They do their thing with no care of what others may think. But also, Nine asks “what you need?” And “why can’t you see the light over there?” now, maybe after the whole no compromises he did catch feelings for Love, but Love, playing with fidelity as previously stated, answers “I’m gonna go where I feel like going”.

And then we have Mill’s rap. He talks about how this ‘experience’ can’t be compared to anything else but it’s an experiment. Now I know a thing or two about downplaying queer experiences, it isn’t unusual for gay ppl to look at things our younger selves did and think ‘how did I even passed as straight?’. Mill, even after saying it was just this experiment, says “you’re already putting a period, that doesn’t end things”. So, my guess, since after that we don’t see them directly interacting unlike the other couples, is that it all fell apart. Love, having the upper hand in the whole dynamic, didn’t have actual romantic feelings for any of the other boys, and he left them hanging.

While a bit heartbreaking, I think it’s important to point out that queer relationships are just like straight ones, and sometimes they end up in ruins, and it’s okay and its part of growing and discovering oneself!

So yeah, that’s my interpretation. This is like 1500 words. A whole essay. Hyperfixation is a bitch. I need a girlfriend.

[radishaur]

Hi! I love waking up in the morning to find my feed filled with your writing! You’re so good! I was wondering if you can write a zuko x female reader based on the song “Easy as all that” by Miniature Tigers? That song gives me major pining!zuko vibes. Hope your day/night is going well! :)

Oh my goodness, this literally melted my heart! 🥺 Thank you so so much! Also I would love to do a song request! I think that idea is so cool! I hope you enjoy!

- Zoe

•••

Crazy About You (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff

Part: 1/1

Summary: See request

•••

When Zuko invaded the Southern Water Tribe, he had expected to find the Avatar. What he did not expect to find was you.

You were absolutely fearless, not hesitating to attack him when he threatened you. You were also incredibly talented at fighting. Without even breaking a sweat, you were able to beat him in a fight. Your water bending was powerful. You were clearly a beginner, but that didn’t matter. Your sheer power was enough to knock him off his feet.

Not to mention you were undeniably beautiful. Of course, nothing could ever come of it. You were enemies. Destined to fight each other until the end of time. He had no choice but to repress the feelings you gave him down into oblivion.

Admittedly, he wasn’t very good at it though. Everytime you guys went head to head he would always be careful not to hurt you. He even purposefully let you escape sometimes. Not that you needed him to. He knew you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.

There had been multiple times he went back and forth about confessing his feelings for you. He knew they were wrong and that you would obviously be disgusted, which made him want to keep his mouth shut. But on the other hand, his Uncle had once told him that being honest about your feelings is better than hiding them. Maybe if he told you then he could finally get rid of them.

He shook his head. Right now was not the time to be thinking about you. His nerves about seeing you again made him distracted, but he needed to practice his speech. Not get flustered over a girl.

He straightened up and looked at the badger frog who was sitting on the log in front of him. He took a deep breath before starting.

“Hello, Zuko here. But I guess you probably already know me....sort of,” he trailed off, rubbing his head sheepishly.

This was not a good start.

“Uh, so, the thing is, I have a lot of firebending experience and I’m considered to be pretty good at it. Well, you’ve seen me....You know, when I was attacking you?” he asked, quickly realizing that was probably not the best thing to bring up, “Uh, yeah, I guess I should apologize for that.”

Not a good start at all.

“B-But anyway, I’m good now. I mean, I thought I was good before, but now I realize I was bad. But anyways...,” he sighed, realizing this was not going to be easy, “I think it’s time I joined your group and taught the Avatar firebending.”

There was a beat of silence as the badger frog croaked.

“That wasn’t bad, but I would probably tweak a few things.”

I spun around in shock to see her leaning against a tree behind me. She had a basket in her hand that was full of fish. She must have been hunting food down for the group. I looked at her cautiously, unsure if she was going to attack me or not.

“It’s a good infiltration plan I have to say, although none of us are stupid enough to believe it after everything you’ve put us through,” she continued, pushing herself up off the tree and coming closer.

“I-It’s not- I’m not-“ I tried to say, my words getting stuck in my mouth as she came closer.

“Why else would you be practicing your speech? Usually people who are genuine don’t need to rehearse what they’re saying,” she argued, standing a mere few inches away from me.

I blushed in embarrassment and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I’m not exactly a people person. It usually helps to practice beforehand,” I mumbled.

“Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation? Shy? I don’t believe it for a second. Although you’re a good actor,” she insisted, her glare so intense I felt like she was looking inside my soul.

“I didn’t even know you were there! Why would I be acting for myself?” I exclaimed, my blush growing as my embarrassment doubled.

She seemed to hesitate to take in my point. She took a step backwards and looked at me in shock.

“You’re being serious,” she said in disbelief.

“Yes. I’m being serious,” I huffed, finally looking back at her.

I immediately regretted it. She looked beautiful and I felt paralyzed to the spot as she looked at me. Her gaze had softened when she realized I wasn’t joking about joining the Avatar and her stance had relaxed significantly. The way the sun shone on her and glimmered in her eyes-

“What are you looking at?” she asked, looking over her shoulder for something that wasn’t there.

“Oh! Uh....nothing. I just uh- I thought I saw something,” I replied, my whole face going red in embarrassment at being caught staring.

She looked at me once more before sighing. She grabbed my arm and began dragging me behind her.

“Come on, then. If you’re really serious I can convince them to believe you,” she said.

“R-Really? You would do that? I’ve given you no reason to trust me,” I responded, shocked that she had believe me so easily.

“Because you’ve always let me go. You never really attacked me and I know you could have if you wanted to. There’s good in you somewhere,” she answered.

Her response made me more flustered that I was before. My stomach flipped as she spoke and I could feel my cheeks heat up. Did she really notice I was going easy on her? And did she know why?

I didn’t ask any of the questions I had. I just followed after her as she led me down to the group. They had all been horrified to see her dragging me behind her and they went to attack, but she held them off. She let me explain myself and, despite some rough patches, got them to accept me as a prisoner.

It was clear to me then how much trust the gaang had in her. She stood by my side even after I accidentally told them I sent an assassin after them and she had been able to convince them to let me stay. They clearly didn’t want me to, but they agreed because she asked them to. Even though she wasn’t related to any of them, they treated her like family. They trusted her with their lives.

She truly was special.

It wasn’t until after I saved the group from Combustion Man that they began to trust me on my own. Aang and Toph were almost immediately on board with me while Sokka and Katara were more hesitant. But Y/N was by far my #1 supporter and grew to be my best friend. She did everything in her power to help me gain the group’s trust.

She accompanied Aang and I to the ancient Sun Warrior’s temple. She helped me break Sokka’s dad and girlfriend out of prison. She even tracked down Katara and Sokka’s mom’s killer with me. All to get me to trust them.

And everything she did just made it harder for me to repress my feelings for her. Her laugh sent butterflies off in my stomach. Her smile made my heart ache. Her kindness made me feel things I had never felt before. And there were countless times I had been caught staring at her.

Pretty much everybody could see I was desperately head over heels for her. But I was still fighting myself over wether to tell her or not. I really wanted to tell her. Especially now that we had become friends, it could be possible. But there was always a tiny voice in my head that told me I would never be good enough for her. It told me that I wouldn’t be able to treat her the way she deserved. That she deserved someone worthy of her and that I clearly wasn’t.

That was the battle I had within myself everytime I saw her and now was not an exception to that.

Sokka had convinced us all to go see a play about ourselves. I had originally been against the idea until I saw how excited Y/N was to go. I immediately agreed after that. Now, she was sitting right next to me as we waited for the play to start.

My heart was pounding out of my chest. She was so close to me that if I moved even an inch to the right we would be touching. Her hand brushed against mind as she talked with Katara, spending sparks through my arm. She had no idea how crazy she drove me.

“Zuko, are you ok?” Aang asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Huh?...Oh! Y-Yea. Just nervous about the play,” I lied.

Luckily, Aang was gullible. That or he decided to spare me the embarrassment of pressing the issue. Either way, he let it go. Pretty soon, the play had started. Everybody was pissed with how their chatacter was portrayed except Y/N. She was displayed as head strong and independent, constantly shown beating stage me in our fights. To be fair, that part was incredibly accurate. Plus, her excitement over her portrayal was enough to make me forget my annoyance about how state me was portrayed.

The play itself was kind of terrible. The storyline was skewed and the relationships between everyone felt off. It was annoying, but bearable. At least she was happy. After a brief intermission, the play continued. I was thoroughly bored up until the scene in the crystal catacombs. At that point, I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating.

“I have to admit Prince Zuko, I really find you attractive,” Actress Katara said.

“You don’t have to make fun of me!” Actor Zuko snapped in response.

“But I mean it. I’ve had eyes for you since you first captured me,” Actress Katara cooed.

“Wait. I thought you were the Avatar’s girl?” Actor Zuko asked in confusion.

“The Avatar? Why he’s like a little brother to me,” Actress Katara said through fits of laughter, “I certainly don’t think of him in a romantic way.”

“Well, that’s too bad for you. I’ve only ever had eyes on Y/N,” Actor Zuko exclaimed, turning to face Actress Y/N who was watching from the side.

Everyone turned to look at me and I shrunk into my seat. Thank Agni the theatre was dark otherwise they would clearly see the blush covering my face.

“You like me?” Actress Y/N asked with a laugh.

“Your beauty and power is alluring. You’ve had my heart since the day I met you,” Actor Zuko said, taking Actress Y/N’a hands in his.

I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I hid my face in my hood. I desperately wanted this scene to be over.

Oh how I would soon regret that wish.

Actress Y/N laughed uncontrollably. She even wiped a fake tear from her eyes when she was done.

“I could never like you!” Actress Y/N exclaimed , pushing Actor Zuko away, “I’m much to powerful for you. You disgust me. You’re nothing but a monster. An obstacle in my way.”

I felt my heart sink. Even though she hadn’t actually said those things, it hurt like she did. I needed to leave. I saw Aang getting up to leave and mumbled something about going with him before bolting out of the theatre.

I walked outside the theatre as I thought over everything that had happened. I scolded myself for ever allowing myself to feel things for her. What Actress Y/N had said was probably true. How could she ever see me as anything other than a monster? She was much better than I ever could be, not to mention everything I’d put her and her friends through.

I sat down at the beach that was across from the theatre. I groaned as I let myself lean against the rocks. I cursed under my breath. How did I let myself get so worked up over a stupid play. A stupid play about stupid-

“Hey.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick from nerves. I opened my eyes and looked to the side to see Y/N sitting next to me in the sand. I looked up at the stars to avoid her gaze.

“Hi,” I forced myself to say.

“You seemed upset when you stormed out of the theatre, so I wanted to come check on you,” she explained, placing a hand on my shoulder.

Her touch sent a shock across my whole body. Even just her touch drove me wild. I was properly and thoroughly whipped.

“I’m fine,” I insisted, still not looking at her.

“You wouldn’t have stormed off if something didn’t upset you,” she argued, scooting even closer to me.

Spirits, I wanted nothing more than to pull her close to me and never let go. To her over and over again. I forced myself to stop thinking about how close she was. I needed to forget about it. It would never happen. Ever.

“Is it because of what Actress Me said?” she asked.

“I...” I went to deny it, but couldn’t come up with something to say, so I simply sighed.

“Zuko, you know I don’t see you as a monster, right?” she assured me, squeezing my shoulder as she did.

“Why not?” I exclaimed, finally looking at her as I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces, “After everything I’ve done to you and your friends, why don’t you hate me?”

She seemed taken aback at my sudden outburst before her expression softened once more. She let her hand drop from my shoulder and instead took my hand in hers. She gave me a soft smile as she squeezed it.

“Because you’re a good person who got handed a terrible hand of cards to start your life with. I don’t blame you for struggling. I think that makes you an even better person, actually. It means you’re not afraid to work for what’s right, even if it’s hard,” she explained.

I couldn’t stop myself anymore. She looked radiant in the moonlight and her speech was enough to make my heart explode. I reacted before I could think twice about it. I let my free hand cup her face and pressed my lips onto hers. They were soft and warm and everything I had imagined and more.

But then the realization of what I had just done crashed down on me and I snapped myself back. I stared at her shocked face in horror. Oh Agni what had I done?

“I-I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Oh spirits, I-“ I began apologizing before I was muffled by her lips crashing into mine.

I was surprised that she was kissing me, but that didn’t stop me from kissing back. My heart swelled with joy as I kissed her back, letting my hand cup her cheek softly. When she finally pulled away, she rested her forehead against mine.

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you to do that,” she giggled.

“W-What?” I asked, clearly confused as to what she meant.

“Zuko, you’re not very good at hiding your feelings,” she teased, causing me to get flustered once again.

She laughed as I began to blush profusely. I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly as I pulled away from her. I felt her hand on my face and then a soft peck on my cheek.

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed,” she said, a huge grin plastered on her face.

I felt my face grow hotter as my blush grew more intense, but I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back at her. She stood up and held a hand down for me to take.

“Come on. The intermission will be over soon and everyone will be wondering where we are,” she said.

I grabbed her hand and let her help me on to my feet. She laced her fingers with mine and walked beside me all the way back to the theatre.

The rest of the play sucked. It was probably one of the worst ones they had ever out on. And yet, despite that, I had never been happier. Y/N made me happier than I had ever been before. Looking back, I really should have just come clean about my feelings. But I wouldn’t change it. The way it went down was perfect to me.

Who knew it would be as easy as all that?

[unadulteratedfandomtrash]

Tony Stark x Reader ~ Mysterious Guest

[My Marvel Masterlist]

A/N: I’m baaaack!! Before anybody mentions this, yes, I know that I haven’t finished the mini series with Cap. I ended up writing most of this story on the plane ride to and from Hong Kong, so I decided to finish up this plot and post it first. Once I get some inspiration for the ���The Instructor’ story, I promise to quickly write the next part. Anyway, please let me know what you guys think of this fic! (There will not be a second part.) Word Count: 2697

The harsh, blinding bombardment of blinking lights and the incessant clattering of camera shutters has grown to be a normalcy in the world of fame and wealth. Reporters scramble across any physical and metaphorical obstacle, wringing any resources within their reach in order to steal a glimpse— even a single phrase uttered in passing is treasured— of the life bustling behind the thin, velvet rope that separates the common people from the elites; after all, their paycheck is relying on them.

Now, as the music blares from deep within the tower, crowds of paparazzi swarm around the entrance of Tony Stark’s tower as a seemingly endless train of limousines and high-end vehicles pull up to the red carpet rolled out before the opened doors of the building. Each photographer and journalist is armed with their recording materials, waiting for the perfect chance to shove a microphone or camera into the faces of the irked tycoons.

“Why are you here today,” a reporter inquires with a small recorder aimed directly at a billionaire, who peers down at the stout woman from his position closest to the velvet barrier. His date, a model no doubt upon first glance at her face heavily caked with makeup and the eccentric, revealing outfit wrapping around her excessively-slim figure, has her arm draped over him; she stares vexingly at the reporter while taking an occasional glimpse at her painted nails, a scowl on her face accurately portraying her desire to join the party inside.

“Well, you see,” the man explains plainly, “Mr. Stark is hosting a party to celebrate his new business partnerships.”

Normally, the tycoons would ignore the pestering crowds and make their escape into the shielding comforts of their destination, but tonight is different. Thanks to the deals Tony Stark has made with several businesses around the globe, party-goers are taking the opportunity to flaunt their new source of income— adding to their already startling wealth— and advertise to potential clients viewing the news.

“I don’t know what he’s working on exactly, but it’s definitely a big project,” boasts an older gentleman in brown sunglasses. A journalist nods excitedly at the statement, urging the man to elaborate as she jots down his words. He runs a hand over his greying, slicked-back hair, sighing as he shakes his head. “My guess is: he’s preparing for something. What is that something? I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine. All I will say, is that Tony Stark knows something.”

It takes some time for newcomers to acclimate themselves with such a life under the microscope. Those born into the lifestyle learn quickly to take it in stride, searching for every appropriate opportunity to promote their image.

A young entrepreneur exits a sports car with his wife, not bothering to spare a glance at his expensive vehicle while a valet snatches up the keys without a moment's notice. He has plenty of cars in his garage; a young, reckless attendant damaging just one of his cars has no effect on his wallet or massive collection. The couple waves to the crowds with warm smiles, greeting a select group of reporters. As the woman turns to leave the sidewalk and step onto the red carpet, a limousine pulls up to the curb, stopping with a harsh, jerking motion. The bumper of the sedan nearly collides into the couple.

Darting out from the driver’s side while clutching his hat, a chauffeur scrambles around the length of the car, hand wrenching the handle to open the door. A young woman steps out slowly, as if for dramatic effect, stretching out a single leg from the vehicle before fully standing up. Her scarlet gown, peppered with flakes of gold embroidery, draws attention; the bold colors contrast tastefully with her complexion.

“Hey,” the entrepreneur shouts angrily at the newcomer, fists curled in and waving in the air, “I demand that you apologize at once! Your driver could’ve killed my wife! She was inches away from being hit!”

The woman in the red dress does not reply. Her eyes shift over to the distressed wife for a brief second before hardening into a glare. A cold aura leaves the couple with shivers running down their spine when she struts past them, but the man refuses to back down.

“Hey! I was talking to you!”

“You best keep your mouth shut,” she advises in a monotone voice, her back still turned to the man. “Pests are not something I wish to deal with, and trust me, you do not want to cross paths with me ever. Especially not tonight.”

Without another word, she continues down the carpeted path, long legs allowing for her to reach the doors immediately, disappearing through the entrance as quickly as she arrived. The entrepreneur remains outside with his feet rooted to the ground, shock overcoming his mind. Never in his life would the man have believed that a strange woman would threaten him.

Thanks to the thundering intensity of the bass, party guests can feel the music shaking the floor as they mingle amongst each other; large crowds form at the center of the room, dancing energetically to the beat of the song. Bright spotlights roam in circular motions, their colors changing every few seconds.

In a corner by several large couches, the older gentleman with the brown sunglasses narrates an intricate story to the group of people who have congregated to listen to his tale. A chorus of gasps and laughter resonates throughout the room briefly before quickly being drowned out by the cacophonous music.

The sound of cheering draws attention to the vast staircase, and there, slowly sauntering down the steps, is Tony Stark. A pair of blue-tinted sunglasses rest at the bridge of his nose, allowing for the wealthy genius to peer above the lenses. His chocolate-brown eyes scan over the crowds, finally settling on a lone figure settled at the bar; he decides to introduce himself to her.

From behind the large counter, a dark-skinned man works as the bartender, serving drinks to the awaiting guests. Sitting at the far end of the bar, the woman in the red dress leans forward with her gaze fixated on the drink nestled in her hands. She plays with the thin straw resting at the edge of the glass, flicking the plastic with her fingers while being completely aware that Tony is approaching her.

“Good evening,” he greets. “I couldn’t help but notice that you look a bit sad and lonely. Those two things are not allowed here at my party, so I have come to remedy it.”

Without replying to Tony’s statement, the woman sends him a shy smile, tilting her head down as she looks up at the genius. She gestures for him to take a seat on the stool next to her, but is interrupted by the entrepreneur she encountered outside the tower. The man begins to shout, his face red with anger as he throws out insult after insult. Tony stands to the side in confusion as he watches the man disrespect another guest.

“Um, excuse me,” Tony retorts, “I don’t appreciate you talking to my guests that way. If you’re going to be rude, I’ll have no choice but to see to it that you leave.”

“My apologies, Mr. Stark, but this matter has nothing to do with you. This woman nearly killed my wife and had the audacity to threaten me for demanding an apology!”

“Like I said before: If you’re going to be rude, I’ll have no choice but to see to it that you leave. Since I feel like being nice, I’ll give you five minutes to leave before I have security escort you from the premises.”

Unfortunately, the young man does not take Tony’s ultimatum seriously and continues his brash verbal assault, resulting in a grumpy Happy Hogan stepping in; the head of security receives a quick “thank you” in passing as he ushers the entrepreneur off the property.

“Now, where were we? Oh, yes! I was about to ask you for your name.”

“I go by many names,” she remarks, her mind reflecting on the numerous aliases she owns, “but you can call me (Y/n).”

“A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Though, I must say: you are much prettier than your name implies.”

“Always a charmer, Mr. Stark.”

“Please, call me Tony,” the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist insists. “All these business moguls are too professional. Right now, I’m here to relax and celebrate. No need for formalities, unless if you have some sort of weird reputation to uphold, in which case you can call me Mr. Stark.”

“Well, Tony,” (Y/n) says with a smile, “allow me to buy you a drink as a small thank you for dealing with the trouble I dragged you into.”

“Trouble? That little issue was no trouble at all. I deal with that sort of thing all the time, but since you offered, I’d be a fool to decline a drink from a lovely lady such as yourself.”

As (Y/n) calls over the bartender to order a drink, Tony’s cell phone rings. The caller ID shows Happy’s picture and number on the screen, so he excuses himself to take the call. (Y/n) nods to show her understanding, asking for his preferred drink before he walks off to a quiet area to converse with his head of security. She allows her mind to wander during the time the bartender mixes the drink. Memories, both good and bad ones, resurface from the dark depths she repressed them into. Despite wanting to remember them, (Y/n) chose to discard the memories long ago; the good ones are mixed with the terrible events from the past.

“Here you go, ma’am,” the bartender announces, interrupting her thoughts.

Seeing that Tony has yet to return from his conversation with Happy, (Y/n) grabs the newly-made drink and toys with the glass, tracing her index finger on the rim of the glass. She continues to fervently run the digit over the cup’s lip as she waits for the genius.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” apologizes the man in question, who smoothly slides into the neighboring seat while removing his glasses. “Though I am happy to report that you will no longer have to deal with that man in my tower.”

“Thank you,” (Y/n) replies as she passes the glass she had previously been stroking her finger over. “Here’s your drink.”

Flashing his signature smile, Tony accepts the drink, throwing his head back as the beverage rushes into his mouth. He sets the glass down with a sigh of satisfaction, smiling when he notices the grin on (Y/n)’s face. Nearly an hour flies by as the two engage in conversation over the man’s success as Iron Man and the effect of his presence on the world.Throughout the entire discussion, (Y/n) allows for Tony to do most of the talking, agreeing every once in awhile and nodding in response to his statements.

“Well, I’m afraid I have to leave, Mr. Stark,” (Y/n) interrupts Tony’s rant about the government’s views on his suit, a small smile tugging at her lips. “There is a matter I need to attend to at home.”

A pout forms on the genius’ lips. He tries to bargain with her, begging for (Y/n) to stay just a little while longer. No matter what he says, she insists that she must return home.

“Aww, c’mon,” he whines. His hand reaches out to grasp her wrist, but the man suddenly finds his vision growing fuzzy; objects and people within his field of vision seem to blur together like an unfocused photograph taken with a foggy camera lens.

No longer seated in his chair, Tony looks up while hunched over, searching for (Y/n). He spots the woman just in time to watch her walk away from him towards the exit. Tony tries to call out to the woman, but his tongue feels as if it weighs more than a hundred pounds, and the muscles in his mouth refuse to cooperate with him. Helplessly, Tony fumbles around for his phone to contact Happy, but his hands are shaking far too severely for the digits to type in the required passcode that unlocks the device— the music is too loud for JARVIS to hear his creator’s voice. A string of curses leaves the man’s mouth once black spots begin to swarm around his his eyesight. Every attempt he makes to attract someone’s attention is met with frustration when the person laughs at what they believe to be their host stumbling around in a drunken stupor. Several years ago, Tony would have accepted their response, since he was constantly drowning himself in alcohol, but now, he has learned to control the temptations.

“Plehshe,” he manages to slur out. “Shembahdy, helpf me…”

With the party reaching its peak, none of the other party guests notice the billionaire’s struggling, leaving him to feel a painful tightness growing in his throat as he watches the woman clad in red slowly disappearing.

“Tony?” Rounding the corner of the bar with his eyebrows raised in confusion, Happy heaves his boss up onto a barstool and proceeds to wave a hand in front of his face when he realizes the man is acting peculiarly. “What’s wrong?”

A string of incoherent mutters and groans tumble out of Tony’s lips. He sluggishly points to the limousine pulling away from the tower, shouting with his mouth closed. Happy tries his best to understand what the man is implying, his head shaking back and forth from the limo to Tony.

“What? The woman who just left?”

Tony nods his head slowly. He attempts to open his mouth, only to be met with a wave a nausea and dizziness. His head lolls onto Happy’s shoulder without warning, startling the head of security, who desperately slaps Tony’s cheek once he notices that the wealthy man’s eyes have rolled back. When he is unable to pull his boss out of an unconscious state, Happy dials for emergency services while checking for a pulse. There is a faint pulse, so there is a sliver of hope.

“Who is she,” Happy wonders, finding his gaze fixed at the entrance of Stark Tower. His carefree boss was not keen on preparing a guest list, so there is no way to filter out guests who have arrived from those who were unable to attend the event. All that is known for sure is that the party is only open to guests who can afford it, including those who are affiliated with Tony Stark’s newest business venture.

Paramedics rush into the building, startling Happy out of his thoughts. He quickly reports the few details he is knowledgeable of to the medical technicians before rushing off into the crowds. Despite wanting to accompany Tony to ensure his safety and recovery, Happy has a job to do right now, which is to clear out the building and confirm that any security threats are no longer present.

“Okay, everybody,” the man shouts upon shutting down the speakers. “Party’s over. I need all of you to please line up by the entrance in a single file and patiently wait as the security team checks you before leaving. Thank you.”

Tony is rushed to the hospital with Pepper informed of the unfortunate incident, leaving Happy to investigate. He returns to the spot where he found Tony and searches for any possible clues or evidence to explain the recent turn of events. Unfortunately, there is not much for Happy to examine. All that is left is an empty glass, which the man immediately picks up with a handkerchief that has been stowed away in his jacket. Carefully, to avoid touching the glass, Happy takes a large whiff, inhaling the stench of distilled liquor, but there is a faint scent lingering with the alcohol. A scent that Happy does not recognize, and a gut feeling tells him that the mysterious smell will provide some answers.

“Hey! I need someone to bag this and take it to get tested. I think somebody poisoned Tony Stark.”

[cloudybookash-blog]

for the ask-Andromeda, Aquarius, Aries, Corvus, Draco, Gemini, Hydra, Libra, Lyra, Pyxis, Taurus, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Canis Minor, Crux, Indus, Lupus, Puppis, and lastly Virgo-i copied u bc im lazy

Andromeda - Describe your main characters

Z: original a banished princess trope, very VERY fucken angry, too tall for her own good, educated and strong, a little insecure about her place in the world, just wants peace.

J: this bitch old af, old as time in fact, loves *checks notes* Aloe Vera? Created grey morality.

H.H: A lover not a fighter, dummy thicc, forgetful, thinks he knows more than he does.

M.E: responsible, guilt-ridden, takes on more than she should be able to handle but handles it well anyway, REALLY FUCKEN INTELLIGENT.

M: the youngest but the wisest, keeps to herself, is possible just as intelligent as M.E, humble, wants nothing more than to help others.

 Aquarius - Who’s your least favorite character to write?

Any of them, y’know, IF I WROTE.

Aries - Share a line that you’re proud of!

Make him run circles and poke himwith a stick. Tire him and find his weak point. Then devour him.

Bro I had to open and read through three different docs just to find this bullshit… I ain’t looking no more. That’s as good as it gets.

Corvus - Who or what is the villain of the story?

Anyone not on my heroes side is The Enemy™.

Draco - Who’s your favorite character to write?

Any of them, y’know, IF I FUCKING WROTE.

Gemini - What inspired you to write this project?

I was asked to join a voluntary, student run writing class in Yr 10. I think I had to write something to ‘introduce’ my style or whatever. It was REALLY shit in the beginning (I wrote in first person, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT???) I don’t know where the idea originally came from because before that I read a lot of horror and contemporary/mystery so pulling a High Fantasy idea out my ass for the first time to intro myself to a bunch of Yr 11/12′s was whack but I did it. Since then it’s been evolving and morphing into other story ideas I’ve had.

Hydra - Tell us why you love your project.

When I was younger I could see the world a lot clearer, it was so easy to get lost in and even now when I write it, I can just fall forever amongst my creation. That and I created it when I was going through IT, I used the world as my punching bag to get my feelings out and seeing as it got me through so much, I just want to do best by it, is that too sentimental?

Libra - Which relationship dynamic do you enjoy writing the most?

GOD characters do not interact.

lol no, I like writing friendship dynamics? I guess. I enjoy characters that have a history that won’t be explained that have inside jokes , the ‘know what the other is thinking’ type relationships are my favourite… I’m bad at writing though so don’t expect too much.

Lyra - Give us a few songs that fit your project!

Gone Away - SafetySuit

Get Free - What So Not Remix, Major Lazer, Amber Coffman

Can I Exist? - Mission

Understand Me - Abel Miller

Young Forever - Jay-Z, Mr. Hudson

Numb - Linkin Park (probably, haven’t listened to it in a while for my own mental health.

Okay, not a few, and not all of these align with my project but they’re some of the inspiring songs/vibe to write songs.

Pyxis - Are there any major themes or messages you’re writing to show?

I started writing this when I was like 12 so, originally I wanted to portray to ‘The Adults™’ that kids go through the fucking ringer and we’re not just ‘over-reacting, being teenagers etc…’  I think I’ll try to keep that in later drafts, but maybe focus it more on validating teens and kids going/working through trauma.

War is a massive focus, child soldiers as well, pain (obviously) and how there are so many ways to deal with them and not all of them are good/healthy for you.

I’m fucking AMBITIOUS for a bitch who can barely write one (1) sentence nowadays.

Taurus - Tell us why you hate your project.

Despite knowing so much more now about the art of writing and the story’s direction as a whole, in comparison to when I first starting writing this story, I now lack the motivation and/or inspiration to write.

Ursa Major - What scene are you looking forward to writing?

I look forward to writing anything at this point… Pray for my creativity, pls.

Ursa Minor - What’s the setting?

Tall, old jungle that whispers if know how to listen. Mountain ranges that shake violently in their effort to move. Wild grasslands, and flowery clearings that’ll lull you into sleep if you’d only just rest your head for a little while, just a few seconds they swear - you look like you could use a rest, yes.

A world like ours unless you see it, hear it, breath it, or feel it. Smells the same though.

Canis Minor - Share an excerpt of old writing and new writing to see how far you’ve come!

fuckingfuckertyfuck…

Okay… So I went on a depressing ass walk down memory lane and I can tell you with complete confidence that my writing has RECEEDED. The super old stuff is problematic so I’m not sharing it, the plain old stuff is me working through repressed trauma so will also not be sharing it, and despite not being problematic the ‘new’ (ish) stuff is incomprehensible… Okay, that sucked, NEXT!

Crux - Villains or Heroes?

Heroes. I’m just basic, man.

Indus - Are there any characters or stories you miss writing? Tell us about them!

All of them, y’know, BECAUSE I NO LONGER FUCKING WRITE. I remember LOSING DAYS just to write. Anything, everything, jumping around from world to world - finding the warmest patch of sun and following it for 8hrs straight without breaks. Being able to come up with story ideas every other day. I remember seeing stories everywhere, and they sucked, oh hell they were fucking terrible - rip offs of movies and tv shows I’d watched. Nothing ever looked as good and clear on paper as they did in my head - no doubt I was horrible, but I had it at least. I just miss seeing it all so clearly, man.

Lupus - Have you abandoned other WIPs? Tell us about some and why you abandoned them?

A wise woman once said, “what HAVENT i abandoned holy fuck.” and honestly, same.

Puppis - Give us a piece of advice! (about anything)

Just breathe. Take big deep gulps, and hold it for a few seconds, then release. Relax your shoulders. Go pee for god’s sake, I don’t think holding it this long is good for you. Go at your own pace, don’t speed up or slow down for others. Always try to see things from the point of view of others, it’s interesting. And lastly, look after yourself.

Virgo - Describe your favorite tropes.

The duo that dies together, not because they both get caught but because one does and the other refuses to let them die alone. Characters that are super big and buff that struggle with their strength and in the end refuse to allow themselves to succumb to the wishes of others and live out their lives in soft handed kindness. That squad of characters that act like a pack of hooligans. Smart characters that rely on their intelligence over others to see them through problems.

[magioftheseas]

I saw that you did some tips for how to write komaeda how about some for kamukura?

Kamukura is honestly a lot tougher to give advice for because a lot of his writing is from theorizing and personal headcanons… I mean, I got there via observing canon closely but still, there are liberties taken!!! Mostly because Kodaka is fucking dumb.

*cough cough* Anyway. Let’s try to give some…solid-ish advice that isn’t just “please just write him the way I like to see him written” even though I can’t act like there isn’t some subjectivity to this because that’s just how it goes.

Ahhhhhh, well, there’s your disclaimer. Let’s roll.

Kamukura Izuru, even if his actual character typically avoids focus outside of Chapter 0, has consistently been shown as someone with a lot of presence. A lot of this is because potentially speaking, Kamukura Izuru could be (if he isn’t already) an unstoppable force that’s just…very intimidating and demanding of notice when he makes his involvement clear. I think capturing that, even without going into any detail about what he’s personally like, can achieve a strong impact. While he certainly isn’t a mindless monster, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to portray him as a looming shadow that evokes unease and anxiety. This is, of course, from an outsider perspective, that said.

If you are writing through Kamukura’s perspective, things are a bit different. He’s very subdued and gives off an air of mostly detached. I say mostly because like, in the case of both DRAE and sdr2, he showcases a sense of anger and resentment towards Junko. So, no, not emotionless, not at all in the two appearances he makes in-game.

There’s also TDP where he does show that, yeah, he has personality even if he seems to be plagued by depression, nihilism, and bitchiness the entire time which… I’ll admit, if you can portray that, I’m all for it. TDP Kamukura is an absolute joy and I adore him.

For my writing personally, I always keep a few base traits in mind when writing Kamukura. Traits that I detail and build upon depending on the situation.

Logical - Kamukura often views things as following through a logical thread, and sometimes, said logical thread is emotionally-based! He is aware (after Junko) that people still follow predictable patterns, even if their behavior is “seemingly” completely irrational. He’s more than capable of identifying what drives people emotionally, so it’s actually a lot more difficult than people think to retain his interest. Again, though, this is something he picks up with time, either after Junko or…after observing Matsuda for long enough, in some cases. Cough, cough.

Sentimental (?) - Kamukura largely presents an overwhelming sense of apathy. He words emotional situations coldly and calculatingly in a way that conveys no sympathy nor empathy. He’s definitely emotionally repressed. That said, when he does feel, he feels overwhelmingly strongly, which I base on the fact that in the games he’s purely driven by anger and spite even to the point of being potentially willing to recklessly throw his and others lives away in order to accomplish his goals. In some ways, I guess you can say Kamukura is similar to the game of Russian Roulette. If that makes sense.

Nihilistic - Unsurprisingly, Kamukura is very cynical and hopeless in not just his situation but the situation of the world at large. He views humanity as trapped within destructive patterns in a loop that will always re-rail itself in spite of every attempt made to stop it. In his case, he doesn’t see what purpose he has outside of being a tool for other people’s use. It’s a pretty depressing worldview, but one shaped purely by the reason he exists in the first place.

Childish - And this is all to say that Kamukura is extremely inexperienced and thus, he’s actually really childish in how he acts and thinks. His worldview is just way too overly simplified! And it’s so limiting! But he stubbornly sticks by it like a kid who doesn’t fully understand the nuances of the world. And he’s just so bratty about it! A brat! He’s a complete brat!

These are the traits I work with when writing Kamukura, but obviously you can choose different ones. Like maybe having him be a bit haughtier (although I would say Kamukura doesn’t think highly of himself so much as he just thinks lowly of everyone), or maybe focusing more on just how spiteful he is because he’s definitely pretty spiteful. You don’t have to follow my blueprints to the letter!

And… Well… There’s…that… Hopefully this helps you get some kind of idea!!! If any specifics confuse you, don’t hesitate to shoot me another ask!

But also… 

THE REST OF THIS IS UNDER THE READ MORE BECAUSE I STARTED BITCHING ABOUT THE ANIME AGAIN BUT LIKE, FEEL FREE TO JUST IGNORE EVERYTHING PAST THIS POINT.

Fuck the anime. Look like, even leaving out the dumb contradictions, Kamukura is a dumb fucking character just…on his own, in dr3. You wouldn’t use a building that’ll collapse from its own faulty structure down the line as a reference for your project. Fuck the anime.

Okay that’s not entirely fair. Like, Kamukura’s first appearance to the end of the first killing game is like, actually not terrible. I would even say it’s fairly good setup, especially with what’s established in Chapter 0 and tne epilogue of DRAE. But everything after that is fucking trash. Although if you build on the shooting scene in episode 8, I would be the biggest fucking hypocrite to criticize that. Everything else though is so incredibly bad and joyless that I just…don’t. I can’t recommend accounting for it. That would be the exact fucking opposite of self-care. I just can’t do it. I mean, you can still write that but don’t expect me to enjoy reading it because I fucking guarantee you that ANY enjoyment I otherwise had in your writing would completely fucking fall apart on the spot I hate it THAT much. I’m sorry but that’s just…how it is. But real talk: you shouldn’t be writing for me and what I prefer anyway you should be writing for yourself and what you prefer. And I honestly can’t fathom why anyone partial to dr3 Kamukura would turn to me for advice when I’ve made it clear many many times (and will continue to do so until the end of time) how much I fucking hate dr3, zhen especially but like… Now I’m rambling.

I failed to keep this from being very noticeably subjective. I’m sorry.

Uh… Let’s try and achieve more balance so that I don’t look completely unreasonable… Uhhh…

The way Kamukura’s VA in the dub is actually pretty good from what I’ve heard. He’s portrayed as most of a sassy, bored genius than emotionless beep boop (until waifu) and that’s a way more engaging character. In my opinion. Yeah.

But TDP actually makes that explicit in the actual text, so…really why not just… Read through his TDP events instead… Mmgh…

[crewhonk]

Papa Don’t Preach ii

Authors Note: I know i usually dont to these but you guys are the loves of my life! all 306 of you!!! MANY HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL. And see if yall can catch my Power Ranger references in this one!! :D

Words: 2,637

Summary: After a week of silence from Billy after the family dinner gone wrong, you confront him about it and talk it out like adults. He propses a crazy idea after a public fight with your dad, Chief Jim Hopper

Requested: HIGHLY REQUESTED GOD LOVE YOU ALL! If you want more, just lemme know!!!! 

Masterlist

Part One | Part Two

It had been an entire week since you had spoken to either Jim Hopper or Billy Hargrove. Jim had taken to grumbling around the cabin every night, and slamming doors and cracking a new beer every ten minutes. Eleven had been quiet, spending more time with the Party and up in your loft reading books and listening to you talk about your day at school and how Billy was. Eleven had developed quite the fascination with Billy, as they had similar experiences growing up. She and Max had spoken about him sparingly and without your friends true and undying support in your affections for Billy Hargrove, it had been nice growing closer to the younger girls who seemed to understand. You and Billy hadn’t been growing closer over the past week, however, and it had left you disgruntled (and almost offended) since you had been inseparable these past few months. It was a shock to your system not having him in your life as a constant, and it had been even more of a shock to you to have to ride in the backseat of Jonathan Byers car. The biggest shock, however, was watching Jonathan and Nancy interact with each other, and feeling nothing but resentment towards them for even the slightest actions (Nancy had brushed a piece of hair that was hanging in his face and you wanted to vomit, honestly) despite them being two of your closest friends.

So, here you were, staring at your locker at nothing but your thoughts and fiddling with the necklace Billy had given you one random day. He saw it on sale in some store downtown and when he had given it to you two weeks into your relationship he had mumbled something about ‘I don’t know. It reminded me of you— don’t make a big deal about it’. Since then you hadn’t taken it off- even when it left green marks around your neck, and even when the fake silver had made your chest break out in bumps. Your eyes flashed in sudden anger towards everything in your life, and your fist gripped your necklace before you slammed your locker door shut, calling the attention of a few passerby’s.

Including Carol and her gang.

“Trouble in paradise, Y/N?” She asked, smiling and brushing a piece of your hair over your shoulder and fiddling with your necklace.

“Last time I checked, it wasn’t any of your business.” You glared, and pushed past her. She grabbed your arm to spin you around and you ripped your arm out of her grasp.

“He’s beautiful in bed, Y/N, just in case you forgot.” Tina piped up from behind Carol, cackling before walking away. You shoved past Carol and Casey and wrapped your fist in her brown hair, pulling hard enough for Tina to spin and glare at you, raising her fist. Before she had a chance to hit you, you pulled your hand back and slapped her hard on the face.

“Did you just slap me?” She shrieked.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” You replied before shoving her back into the lockers behind her. She let out a high-pitched scream that you could barely hear because your pulse was racing in your ears and your rage blocked most of your senses. You drew back a fist before bringing it down hard on her face and splitting her lip with the ring you had stolen from Billy’s makeshift vanity.

��Dont— you— ever— speak— about him— that way!” You yelled, punctuating every syllable with a punch or a slap to the face. Before you could damage her face any more, you felt yourself being heaved over someone’s shoulder. “Let me go!” You screeched, hitting the denim-clad back that you were faced with.

You fought and wriggled until you were put down on the grass but the parking lot. You were face-to-face with the bare chest clad with a virgin mary pendant. You glared up into the blue eyes of your boyfriend and pushed past him.

“Y/N lets talk.” He said, grabbing the back of your shirt and pulling you into his chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist, not letting your run from him. You spun in his arms and slammed your palms against his chest.

“No! You don’t get to want to talk to me after avoiding me for a week. You don’t get to!” You yelled while hitting him over and over. He took his hands and wrapped them around your wrists. “You’re a dickhead, and I deserve better than someone who ignores me after one shitty date with my dad. My dad is mad at me too, thanks for asking. He’s not even speaking to me and all he does is drink and grumble and everything is shit right now. So, no. You don’t get to talk to me.” You cried, tears flowing from your eyes and running down your face. He removed his hands from your wrists and brushed them over your cheeks, wiping away the blush you had applied on your cheeks that morning. You slid your hands around his waist and under his denim jacket and cried into his chest. You cried for Billy, and your love for him and you cried for him because your dad didn’t see what you did.

What you saw in Billy was a beautiful star of a man. You saw someone who was filled with repressed potential, and you saw someone who compensated for their home life at school. You saw someone who loves chocolate milkshakes and Krispy Kreme coffee. He loved when you cooked your favorite greek chicken and was genuinely so excited the first time you made it. You saw someone who portrayed themselves as a dog person but melted whenever they saw a cat or kitten on the street. You saw someone who wanted to be a social worker. Someone who wanted to fight for children who showed up to school with bruises, or to fight for the women and men who had to put on makeup to hide the dark circles under their eyes. You saw someone who wanted to save people but hid that desire to be respected in their school community. You saw someone who was beaten and abused and manipulated by toxic masculinity and broken families. You saw an inherently flawed man who was the love of your life.

“Come on, Princess. Let’s go somewhere else.” He whispered in your ear. You felt his lips brush against your ear, and the closeness made you shiver.

“What about Max?” You mumbled, rubbing your nose into his shirt, and continuing to rest your head against his chest.

“She has Nerd Club tonight.”

“Be nice.” You warned. He laughed and grabbed your cheeks, bringing your face to his and pecking your lips softly and pulling you to his Camaro. His arm was wrapped around the back of your neck and you held the hand that was resting on your shoulder, fingers intertwining together. He opened the door for you to climb into his car and you curled up in the seat. He got into the car, started it and turned down the music until it was nearly inaudible. The crooning voice of Steven Tyler reached your ears and you wiped your eyes, blinking rapidly. He pulled out of the parking lot and tore down Main Street ignoring cars that honked and anyone who cursed his driving.

“Where do you wanna go?” He asked, resting his hand high on your thigh. You rested your hand on top of his and played with his fingers.

“I don’t care.” You sighed. He grunted lightly and drove down to a nearby lakeside. You both got out and you walked around to the front of the car to watch the small waves crash against the rocky shore. There was a small dock launch, and algae collecting around the pillars that held the dock up. You felt a tiny weight on your shoulders and looked down to see that Billy had draped his extra leather jacket around your shoulders. You hummed in thanks as he joined you on the hood of his car. He offered you a cigarette and you took it silently and leaned into the flame from his Zippo lighter.

“You can’t do that to me, you know. You can’t just stop talking to me.” You exhaled the smoke from your lungs and coughed at the scratchiness is left in your throat.

“I’m causing issues in your home life, baby. I can’t do that to you.” He replied, his voice strong.

“You don’t get to decide that shit alone anymore, Bill. We’re in a relationship that I know neither of us plans on leaving, so we need to start working as a team. There’s no ‘I’ anymore.” You replied, kicking rocks with the tip of your white (not really white. they were once upon a time) converse shoe. The wind blew both of your hair in your faces and you could smell the seaweed and fish living in the lake. The clouds were rolling in, promising a storm and despite knowing this, both of you had no intention of leaving this spot.

“I know. I’m scared of how much I love you, though. I want to take you away from that cabin, and from that asshole cop and I want to take you home to California where we can sit like this in front of an ocean instead of this shit pond.”

“He’s my dad, Billy. I can’t leave him. Not again— you know this. And Eleven would tear me a new one if I left her. She likes you by the way.” You tried to convince yourself. Truthfully, you had never felt welcome at Hoppers cabin and the only thing that chained you here was Eleven. You could feel Billy’s gaze on the side of your face, but you didn’t turn to get his gaze and instead, taking a long drag from your cig.

“Who? Jane?” You nodded in response. “What’s her deal, by the way?” He asked.

“Legally, I can’t tell you much, but she comes from a pretty bad place and was abused in every way imaginable. They didn’t teach her anything, so mentally she’s behind for her age. She’s smarter and stronger than everyone I know, though.” He only hummed in recognition of your statement and rubbed his cold nose with his sleeve.

The two of you stayed on the hood of his car until the sky darkened and thunder began rumbling in the distance. He drove you home soon after the first rain fell, and you two sat in the car, talking about nothing and letting conversations come and go naturally, comfortable silences lasting between each one. He drove back into Hawkins and pulled into the Benny’s Diner parking lot and you both laughed and ran into the building, using his jackets to avoid getting soaked by the March rain.

Your laughter died quickly, however when you saw Jim standing at the counter waiting for food to take home to you and Elle. He sent a hard glare towards Billy, before settling his eyes on you and motioning for you to come closer. You told Billy to go and find a booth before walking over to your dad and leaning on the fake marble countertop. He tapped his pack of cigarettes three times on the counter before turning to finally look at you. You saw the eyes of a genuinely worried father staring back at you and you just looked down at your fingernails in shame.

“Where’ve you been, Kid?” His voice had an underlying command that made you look up to meet his eyes.

“Down by the lake. I had a bad day today, and Billy was there to help me out.” You replied, trying to ignore the way your voice sounded a little too full of emotion. You expected many things when you would finally confront Jim about your situation, but being on the verge of tears after a two sentence conversation wasn’t on the list of things you had thought about.

“Eleven was wondering where you were. She’s worried.” He looked away from you and you watched his thick brow bone furrow in a little bit of frustration.

“Okay, so you weren’t worried? Good to know.” You rapped your knuckles twice on the counter and turned to walk away towards your boyfriend who was watching you and your dad protectively.

“Y/N, you know that’s not how I meant it.” He said sharply. You turned around to look at him slowly and clenched and unclenched your fists together.

“How did you mean it then?” You challenged.

“I meant it in the way that I’m not going to be around forever, and you are all Eleven has after I leave. You’re her family.”

“So what am I? Chopped liver, Dad? I’m your actual daughter! Or did you miss that wave when it washed over you? I get that Elev- Jane is your favorite, but I’m your actual skin and bones and blood and you’ve been treating me like the gum on the bottom of your shoe.” You growled at him, pointing at his feet and glaring hard.

“Y/N! Would you just listen to me!” He yelled. You were suddenly grateful that you, Billy, Jim and the chef were the only other ones in the diner. “You are a new thing to me! After Sarah died, your mom refused to let me talk to you and then all of a sudden, ten years later she throws you on my front doorstep without one word of explanation, and you’re suddenly expecting me to be a good father? I need time to deal with this too!”

“How do you think I feel, Jim?! My own mother abandoned me and made me move three states and expected me to live with an alcoholic of a father! I didn’t even get a chance to understand what was going on before it actually happened!” You said, angrily wiping away tears that had leaked from the corners of your eyes. “I get that shit’s hard for you right now, but you’re not the only one in this story!”

With this, you spun and fled the diner, not knowing where to go but knowing you needed to get out of that diner because suddenly the walls were closing in and the temperature was too hot for you. You ran out into the rain and stopped as the cold of the evening hit you. You tilted your head to the sky and took in a deep breath of fresh air. You jumped and were immediately pushed into fight mode when someone grabbed your hand and intertwined their fingers with yours. The scent of cheap cologne and cigarettes stopped you, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“What do you expect me to say, Bill.” You whispered after a second. You were met by silence, and you let it draw out until you felt as if you were going to implode. You looked up at your boyfriend.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He mumbled, stepping closer and making you turn to face him. He cupped your jaw with one hand and gripped your hand tighter with the other. He leaned down and brushed his lips lightly over yours. You could sense his hesitation.

“What is it?” You asked, stepping closer until your chest was pressed flat against his.

“I’m gonna say something crazy, and you’re not allowed to freak out.”

“After the day I’ve had, anything would be hard pressed to phase me,” You said, kissing his nose softly.

“Let’s go to California. Just for a trip. I mean, spring break is coming up soon, and we wouldn’t miss much school time, and I mean I’ve always wanted to bring you home and when we were at the beach I just wanted to see you in the sun and playing in the sand in a sexy little swim number and I know it’s a little too much to ask, but I’d really like for you to—“

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

[mysticdragon3md3]

spoilertastic reactions to P5A ep3

So we’re going with family names, huh?  *bitter sigh*  Fine...!  But I expect that to eventually change, you two!

Ryuji, don’t make your RenRen jealous.  (Let me stretch interpretations for my OTP, okay!)

Obligatory AkiRyu screengrabs:

Morgana Cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really like how the changes from the game's storyline efficiently condenses the story.  That'll come in handy when they need more time to establish character tones or cram in everyone's Confidant routes, later in the series.  And yet, it doesn’t feel choppy anymore.  That seemed to stop after episode 1.  I can see this being much easier for a Persona-newbie to follow, than the Persona 4 anime, which got me completely lost.  x_x;

I liked how Ryuji directly interacted with Shiho.  Since the anime skipped a lot of the game's long section of showing Ryuji's concern for the prisoners in the Palace, which went a long way towards his protective characterization, it's nice to get these replacement instances of portraying his concern for other people.  Also, he knows best about Kamoshida getting worse while everyone is working towards Nationals.  It’s kind of odd that the game didn’t have them interact before.  

And again, the camera closes in on subtle eye movements to convey emotions and important points.  

OMG Kamoshida's shit lost Ann's job to Mika?!  >O<!!!!!!!!!!!  These changes the anime makes to condense the story are really effective.  ^_^  I hate Kamoshida even more, if that's possible.

Again, with the shifting facial/eye expressions replacing actual dialogue scenes, that were in the game.  In the game, Ann directly apologized for misplacing her anger onto Akira/Ren. In episode 3, instead, it’s all in facial expressions.  It's really efficient to convey characters’ emotions with this direction in the anime.  But it's kind of ironic, because it used to be that if an anime wanted to save budget, they'd put in a lot of voice acting vs drawing more movements.  But this anime is the other way around.  ^_~    

"But they don't know anything."  Right when Ann said this, she gets reflected in Akira's glasses and his head slumps down slightly, like Ann's situation reminds him of how no one would believe him when he was arrested.  In fact, it very immediately shows the similarity between the sad expression in Ren's eye and the sad expression on Ann's face.  That shift in lenses was just like when the glare came off Ren's glasses after Kawakami was talking to him about how everyone was ostracizing him over rumors, but then Ren's glasses suddenly shifted to clear and showing his eyes, when Kawakami mentioned "Sakamoto" to start talking badly about him.  I wonder if this lense glare/reflection shifting is going to happen with every Confidant, to show their similarities with Ren and Ren’s sympathies towards them.  It would build up Ren's character development and rapport with the Confidants well.  ^_^  

And once again, some key dialogue from earlier gets repeated. 

 In episode 2, Ryuji’s lines “You can’t just walk away when someone’s in trouble, right?...How is that wrong?” paralleled Arsene’s question “Simply going to watch? Wouldst thou forsake him?...Was your choice back then a mistake?” to Ren during his Awakening, to reaffirm his resolve.  It may seem obvious to emphasize key themes by repeating virtually identical dialogue across characters/scenes, but I like how such a clear emphasis on what’s important to the story, also says what’s important to Ren and what created the bond with his friends.  

Yup.  Not a cat.  LOL  

"MonaMona"  ^_________^  (I kind of miss the portrait icons, but this is ok.)

So the director said in an interview that there would be a surprise in this series, implying something different from the game's storyline.  All this time I was afraid the change would be Akechi not getting his game ending, since I dislike Akechi.  But what if the change is something nice, like characters who were originally intended to join the Phantom Thieves, but got cut from the game, getting to join them?  Hifumi was originally supposed to be Queen!  O.o  When I first went through the game, I wanted Mishima to join the Thieves.  I wonder if he'll get to in the anime.  *.*  ...Probably not though.  A lot of the plot depends on his Phan-site, and he only did that because it was the only thing he could do to help, since he didn't get a Persona.  

No, Morgana.  You are an awesome cat.  ^___^  

Don't give your name, Ren!  LOL  And Ryuji is the one who corrects him.  LOL  I don't want to hear anymore crap about how "Ryuji is stupid".  ^o^

I like how Ren is always saying something to give everyone Strength.  

Look at Morgana's and Ren's smirks when Ann Awakens.  ^o^!  It’s like Ren is figuring out his place/role to give others Strength and he’s becoming proud of it.  And not just that, but he’s also proud of his friends finding Strength to get out of the same Weaknesses that he used to be in.  

Yes!  Ann being a cool dominatrix!  Kamoshida and his goons need to suffer!!!!!!  

And I like that they directly referenced "Cougars".  Look at Morgana’s eye expressions!  LOL

Morgana's slingshot!  ^o^

I like how in addition to Ren encouraging his friends' Strength, he also protects them during the fight.  

Ryuji was right about Ren being different in the Metaverse.  He has to wait until he gets there, for him to actually say the things that he feels and act on that protective nature of his that he seems to have been doubting ever since his arrest.  (Why else would he need both Arsene and Ryuji to reaffirm that his impulse to protect others wasn’t wrong?)  Like what he should have said to Ann in that cafe, while she was crying for what to do.  I look forward to the series progressing and the emergence of smirky, sassy Akira, who can start to say these things and be confident in himself, outside of the Metaverse.  It occurs to me that meeting Ryuji was Ren’s reaffirmation that he wasn’t wrong, while helping Ann release her unrestrained self is kind of what Ren also needs to do.  I guess each Confidant represents a part of character Growth that Ren needs.  Ryuji represents “protect people regardless of the consequences to yourself”, and Ann reflects “don’t restrain/repress yourself”.  So I guess the story is kind of an indirect character arc for him, reflected through the friends he gains.  

Alright.  That's a MUCH better transition for the All-Out Attack!  So much better than ep2!  ;u;  And I like the group ending finale too.  ^__^  

It occurs to me that Ryuji is always the one offering drinks.  His mom sure raised him to be polite.  O_o  

“The four of us...” = “Yon-nin”.

My favorite "yon-nin"!  ^u^  <3 <3 <3 <3

Before this series was released, I had watched the Persona 5 Daybreakers OAV and some of the pacing's lag during the fight scene made me vent out a post full of all my fears.  Fears that I did not want to come true when the anime series production had finished, but I just had to get out of my system. And there was no way to know whether it’d come true or not, until the series premier.  Nothing to do but whine and cry out in fear.  I'm so relived now, that each episode of this series so far has given me primarily positive things to say---each and every episode.  ;u;  I'm so happy to be wrong!  ;U;  That’s ALL I want!  I just want to be wrong, when I have nothing but worries!  ;u;  After years and years of anime adaptations screwing up every time they deviated from the source material, anime production is finally getting to that point where it really adds to the manga or videogame, more than dilutes.  ;u;!  

[thebluesideofmyworld]

asexuality asks: 2, 18, 31, 39, 48: Have you read fics with an asexual character, and what did you think of them?

2.       How do you define asexuality for yourself?

I personally would define t as simply no sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of the gender. For me, I do appreciate good looks on anyone (atm I would squeal in delight whenever I see Asa Taccone). But to do something with any sexual intention? Nope. Like, no matter how stunning Asa looks,I don’t even want to kiss him. Or anyone. I have no idea what it means when people say that someone looks hot or sexy. And don’t take me wrong, while some people who define themselves as ace totally dislike the idea of sex, I am more like… it’s cool but not for me. Like, I can still enjoy reading or watching (even though watching can sometimes makes me uncomfortable) something related to sex, but only when it happen to other people (my OTPs for example). But I just never wanted, and I could not imagine, to have it happens to me. Again, this is what asexuality means to me. Other people who identify themselves as ace might have other opinion or experience. It’s a spectrum anyway.

18.   Best thing someone has said to you about your identity?

Hmmm… I just came out irl to three people: my therapist and two other friends. And for my friends, let’s just say that one of them didn’t take it well and the other one was just…kind of confused.  So to be honest I don’t really have an answer to this. But I remember that in one of our session when this topic came up, my therapist told me that, “Being an ace doesn’t make you broken. You matter and people like you make life even more colorful.”

31.   You are awesome.

AAAAAKKKKK THANK YOU SO MUCH

39. Has religion or culture  played a role in your asexuality?

I would say that culture and religion tend to repress me on accepting my identity of asexuality. I come from an Eastern culture which is quite conservative and heavily hetero-normative. Even before I came to terms that I am an ace, when I said i don’t think marriage is for me, I already got so much resistance from people around me. As for religion, this is quite interesting. I am no way near a scholar, so my understanding about religion can be really biased. However, I guess one of the thing that once stopped me from embracing my ace-identity was one of the verse in Qur’an, Surah Ya-Sin verse 36: “Glory be to Him Who created pairs (of) all things, […]”. I kind of stuck in the idea that everything must be paired. But then I read that some scholars interpret that this might not always mean pairing as in man-woman. If this verse was analyzed in a more comprehensive way, in relation with verses before and after that, it can actually be interpreted that the verse refers to the existence of positive and negative particles inside the centre of atom and the electrons which rotate around it, which I find to be much more appealing to me (especially since I am in the STEM field so it makes more sense to me.)

48: Have you read fics with an asexual character, and what did you think of them?

YOUR FIC OF COURSE. And I loooove Bernardo there (I know I’ve said it before, and I’m gonna say it again, THANK YOU!). Also, just yesterday I read a fic from the PJO fandom where Cecil was portrayed as an ace. As an addition, it’s not a fic, but Artemis in the PJO and HoO series was portrayed as an aro/ace character, as what has been confirmed by Rick Riordan himself here. And I do love Artemis (she’s pretty cool).

Thank you :D 

[starryeyed-char]

Sleepless

You know the drill by now. It’s Whump Week Day 5- Insomnia/Mental Illness.

Have some klance late night training bonding after a rough mission.

Keith found himself returning to the training deck. He didn't know why he started doing it, but now he couldn't stop. Any time his emotions got to be too much, he buried them by fighting the training bots, sometimes for hours on end.

This practice quickly became a habit for any difficult situation, any time he simply couldn't calm down without exhausting himself physically. So, it was really no surprise that after a terrible mission like that he would do this.

What was surprising, however, was that someone else was already using the room.

Keith's eyes widened as he took in the sight of Lance crouching to shoot at least six different bots from across the room.

It felt strangely private, watching Lance expertly take down the training droids, nothing but focus in his eyes. The blue paladin hadn't even noticed Keith walk through the door, and he felt guilty just standing there and watching. Not that it would be polite to interrupt, either. Really, Keith should've just left.

But he couldn't tear his gaze away. There was something about watching Lance in his element like that... Keith couldn't put his finger on it.

As Lance carried on flawlessly, lasers hitting their marks in quick succession, Keith found himself questioning everything he thought he knew about the Cuban boy.

Keith was somewhat angry he hadn't realized it before; with how much Lance's aim had improved over time. It was no wonder he did some extra training. In fact, they did very little distance training as a team at all, which meant Lance would've learned all this entirely on his own time.

And yet Lance was always portrayed as the team goofball, making jokes and slacking off.  The Lance he saw when the others were around seemed to transform into an entirely different person when by himself.

It made Keith wonder just how often this happened, how much of Lance they were missing. After all, Keith liked to train early in the mornings. But it was the dead of night, or whatever the Altean time equivalent, and Lance was just as bright and awake as ever.

Lance straightened, brushing a bead of sweat from his brow as the last of the training bots fizzled out. His eyes then caught of Keith, and his serious demeanor was shattered as he jumped about a foot in the air. “Keith! How... how long have you been standing there!?”

He ignored the question. “Lance. What do you think you're doing?” Keith crossed his arms.

Lance cast him a sheepish smile, attempting to shove his deactivated bayard behind his back. “What does it look like I'm doing?”

“It looks like you're training by yourself after hours, when we're all supposed to be sleeping,” Keith replied, unimpressed. “That was a really rough mission. We all need to get some rest.”

Lance rubbed the back of his neck, still smiling. “Well, I train after dinner sometimes, you know.”

“Lance, it's nearly four in the morning.”

The look of surprise on his face was short of convincing. “Really? Gee, I guess I better get to sleep then, must've lost track of time—”

“Lance,” Keith repeated, stopping him in his tracks as he started to leave the room. “Tell me the truth.”

Lance's shoulders sagged. “I do train here by myself a lot, but... I don't know. After the way the mission went, I couldn't sleep.”

Keith's anger dissipated, if only slightly. “I know how you feel, but if you don't rest up, then—”

“No, you don't understand,” Lance insisted, and Keith was taken aback to see tears in his eyes. “It was my fault.”

Keith's own eyes softened. “Lance, that's not true—”

“Of course it is! Hunk took that shot for me, Keith! And now he's in a pod!” Lance let out a shaky breath. “Fuck, I mean, injuries are common. They're part of the job, I get that. But it's Hunk. The rest of us are a bunch of reckless idiots, but not him. He's supposed to be the rational one, always careful, playing it safe. He's always been dependable like that, and I should know— we've been friends since we were kids, but... he got hurt. And I just keep... seeing it, over and over again.”

“Lance—”

“And I know... I know I should be resting, but I can't sleep, not when every time I close my eyes I see my best friend bleeding out in my arms! And maybe this time, we wouldn't be able to save him!” Lance was full on crying now. “So I came here, instead. Because maybe if I can get better, I can stop something like this from happening ever again. Maybe I can actually protect you guys, instead of being a burden.”

Burden?

“Lance,” Keith started, carefully. He'd never been good with words. Whenever he tried to comfort someone, he usually just made it worse. But Keith wasn't about to just stand there and let him cry, not if he could help it. “Lance, look at me. You can't blame yourself, alright? It wasn't your fault. The shot could've killed you, and Hunk knew that, so he made the choice. He's smart. He probably wouldn't have done it if he didn't think you'd both be okay.”

“Of course he's smart, the guy's a genius! But you don't know Hunk like I do. We've been best friends for years, like I said. He's smart, no doubt about that, but he's selfless first,” Lance told him. “Always puts others before himself. He's saved my life countless times, and if he died doing that... if he was gone because of some stupid mistake I made... I don't know how I'd live with myself.”

Keith wanted to point out that Lance was selfless, too, but he couldn't bring himself to. How did he not realize that he also put the needs of others first?

Maybe that's why the two of them get along so well, Keith thought.

“Lance, we're a team. We're supposed to have each other's backs, right?” Keith tried for a smile, hoping Lance would return it. “Do you have any idea how many times you've saved my life? I know it's scary to think about, but any time one of us goes down, the rest of us are going to be there to pick them back up. We're the defenders of the universe, aren't we? That means we've gotta look out for everyone, and that includes each other.”

Lance stared at him for an moment, then rubbed the tears away from his eyes with a short laugh. “When did you get so good with words?”

Keith shrugged. “Probably just something else I learned from you.”

Lance's eyes widened.

“Hunk's going to be fine. I'm not going to promise that we're all always going to be okay, because I don't know what'll happen. But I can promise you that if and when we go down, it's not going to be without a fight. And dammit if we don't come back swinging harder than we were before, every time,” Keith offered Lance a hand. “And we're all fine for right now, so how about we just hold onto that for a bit? Deal?” He expected Lance to shake his hand, maybe even high-five him. When Lance didn't move, Keith worried he'd said or done something wrong.

But then Lance grabbed his hand, yanked him forward, and wrapped his arms around Keith in a near-suffocating hug. Keith couldn't help it; he tensed up at first, but relaxed pretty quickly.

“Thank you,” Lance whispered into his shoulder, and Keith figured maybe he wasn't so bad at this whole leader thing after all. Not if he could make Lance feel better, even just this once.

But then Lance was looking at him, brows furrowed in confusion. “Wait, if you came down here just to tell me to get some rest, then why are you in full paladin armor? Why do you have your bayard?”

Oh, shit.

Keith stammered over his words for a moment, and Lance smirked.

“I knew it! You were coming down here to train, too! You're trying to act like a responsible leader when you're just as bad as I am!” Lance laughed, but at the annoyed look on Keith's face, his smile turned soft. “You couldn't sleep either, huh? Maybe we should both try and get some rest.”

Keith wasn't sure what made him do it. A smart leader would suggest they both go to sleep immediately, get an early start on training the next day. Shiro would've definitely gone for that option. But then again, Keith wasn't him. He couldn't lead the same way Shiro did.

And maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

“Unless you want me to stay here and spar with you?” Keith asked. It wasn't originally meant to be a question.

Lance seemed at a loss for words. Keith could admit it was the slightest bit entertaining, seeing him be the flustered one for once. “I'm... I'm sorry, what?”

Keith didn't feel the grin until it was too late to stop it. “It's no secret that you're terrible at close combat. And training with a real person is always more helpful than those predictable bots. I used to spar with Shiro a lot...” he trailed off, eyes meeting Lance's again. “Unless you're scared? It's fine if you don't want to—”

“Oh no, I want to,” Lance interrupted. “But then you've got to agree that I give you some shooting lessons some other time, because your aim is horrendous. Deal?” He extended a hand, just as Keith had only minutes before.

Keith repressed an eye roll as he shook Lance's hand. “Deal.”

[whittlebaggett8]

‘The OA’ star Ian Alexander helps explain Buck’s confounding final scene: ‘It’s very meta’, Defence Online

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Buck, Steve, and BBA on “The OA.”

source

Netflix

Warning: Spoilers ahead for “The OA.”

Ian Alexander stars on Netflix’s “The OA” as Buck Vu, and the role was expanded for season two to include “Michelle,” a different version of Buck we see in a new dimension.

In an interview with INSIDER, Alexander reveals how he drew an antler design that said “Buck Vu” for his character’s costume, and helps explain the details of the final mind-bending twist.

Netflix’s “The OA” took its characters to literal new dimensions with “Part Two” of the mind-melting show. One of these people, Buck Vu, is played by 17-year-old Ian Alexander.

This season, Alexander was tasked with portraying Buck Vu (a transgender teen boy) as well as Michelle Vu (a version of Buck in an alternate dimension who Alexander views as a pre-transition). Similar to Buck, Alexander identifies as transmasculine and uses he/him pronouns.

Alexander had a creative hand in crafting his role on the show, including drawing his own custom artwork for a T-shirt Buck wears for most of his “Part Two” scenes. The drawing of antlers spells out “Buck Vu” – a detail even the show’s co-creator Zal Batmanglij didn’t pick up on.

“I created it, so I can’t see anything else when I look at it,” Alexander said in an interview with INSIDER. “But even the director and even people who are watching it like two or three times didn’t even notice until I pointed it out.”

Alexander spoke with us about how he watched (and rewatched) the new episodes right at midnight when Netflix released them, and helps explain exactly what is happening on the last few minutes of the “Part Two” finale.

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Ian Alexander as Buck on the first season of “The OA.”

source

JoJo Whilden/Netflix

Renfro: What was your initial reaction to the “Part Two” scripts, particularly with Buck’s journey this season?

Alexander: I knew a little bit ahead of time because Zal [Batmanglij], the director, called me ahead of time to ask me if I was comfortable with potentially playing two different roles in part two. But I didn’t know exactly what the involvement was going to be of the two characters, so it was definitely super exciting reading through it the first time and seeing how they tied together the two different dimensions and how I was involved in both as Buck and Michelle.

At first I was a little concerned just because in part one, Buck and the boys and BBA are involved in every episode. So I was like, “Oh no! Where’s Buck? Where’s our story?” But then when I got to episode three I was like, “Oh, okay, I see. It’s all worth it, it all leads up to this moment.”

I was actually really excited to have two episodes dedicated to just us and our story. It really gives us time to breath and to grow and for audience members to really empathize with our characters, rather than just getting little glimpses of us. So, yeah, I was definitely very a little cautious about that at first but then excited once I saw how it all played out.

Renfro: Have you watched all of the episodes now that it’s out on Netflix?

Alexander: Yeah, I’ve actually seen all of it twice now, and I’ll probably watch it for a third time this weekend if I have the time. I couldn’t wait, I stayed up until midnight [on Thursday] so I watched it just as it was released.

Renfro: While re-watching it, did you spot things that you hadn’t noticed before about the story while you were filming?

Alexander: Absolutely, yeah. Especially even though I was filming at the show in the second dimension, my character is missing and/or comatose so I didn’t really have any involvement in that storyline. So it was really exciting to see how it played out with OA and Karim and the others because I hadn’t seen any of that. I’d only just read it in the script.

And on the second watch through I was able to kind of put aside my own criticisms of my performance and everything. Because that’s why I watched it the first time just by myself, so I could get that out of the way. Then the second time I was able to enjoy it and focus on the background and the details and stuff like that.

I think I definitely want to watch it a couple more times because there are so many little Easter eggs and little hints and clues that you don’t really catch on the first couple times around.

Renfro: When the photos for “Part Two” first came out, you tweeted about the shirt Buck is wearing in one of them and how there’s a detail in it people were missing. Can you explain that a little bit more for anyone who missed it?

i’m spoiling this easter egg because i designed this shirt and am UPSET that no one has noticed yet: look at buck’s shirt. if you don’t see it, look closer. https://t.co/K8Jz9T1m1U

— IAN (@ianaIexander) March 24, 2019

Alexander: I went in for a wardrobe fitting last year […] and Zal told me, “I really want you to design a shirt that Buck is gonna wear throughout ‘Part Two,’ and it’ll become an iconic look for the character.”

I sat down that night and sketched a bunch of stuff. I wanted it to be related to Buck’s name, so I was playing around with some ideas of a male deer. I mentioned the idea of wanting to put deer antlers on a shirt, and [one of the wardrobe designers] said, “What if you spell something out with the letters?” And so then I was like, “Oh, I could spell out Buck’s name in the antlers.”

I sent the initial sketch to Zal and he loved it. I thought he saw that I spelled out Buck Vu, but actually he didn’t notice it until they created the shirt and I wore it to set my first day shooting as Buck. I made some sort of comment saying, “Oh yeah, I’m so glad you like my Buck Vu design.” He just looked at me and was a little confused.

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You can see the “Buck Vu” design on the T-shirt here.

source

Netflix

I said, “What? It spells out Buck Vu,” and he was like, “Oh my god! No way!”

He was calling people over to look at the shirt. Some of them were like, “Yeah, it’s obvious” but other people were like, “Oh my god, I had no idea!”

It was funny to me since I created it, so I can’t see anything else when I look at it. But even the director and even people who are watching it like two or three times didn’t even notice until I pointed it out. It’s a really cool little Easter egg for repeat watchers.

Renfro: Rewatching both parts, I noticed a lot of links between Buck and Rachel. In part one, there’s the episode that opens with Buck singing in front of his mirror and then riding his bike past a red backpack and what looks like the aftermath of a car accident, which is reminiscent of what Rachel described in another scene. They also both sing, and then Rachel comes to Buck through his mirror.

Alexander: Yeah, absolutely. I was talking about that in another interview where they asked me why Rachel goes to Buck. And part of it is because he’s leaves the door open. He still believes in OA, whereas the others doubted her or they’ve lost hope. But Buck still has this strong hope and belief that she’s still out there and they still have to help her.

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Ian Alexander and Brendan Meyer as Buck and Jesse on “The OA.”

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Nicola Goode/Netflix

But also, I was thinking it’s because of their voices and their connection. In dimension two, Rachel is mute and it’s hard for her to communicate, but she travels into Buck’s mirror since they both sing – that’s something they have in common and that’s how she’s able to communicate.

So yeah, I definitely have been noticing the parallels between them since part one, but they fully dive into that in part two and acknowledge the fact that they’re is a connection between Buck and Rachael.

Renfro: My interpretation of it has been that OA is surrounded by a different tribe, is like the word that to use I guess, for lack of a better term, but it’s like each person in that tribe kind of has a link to other second dimension.

Alexander: Yeah, absolutely.

Renfro: I would also love to talk to you about the final scene since that is such a trippy, complex, snd surprising way for this season to end.

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“The OA” went very meta for its second season finale.

source

Netflix

Alexander: It’s very meta.

Renfro: Yeah, it’s meta but then once I sat down and looked at it, it’s not like a full breaking of the fourth wall because there are still these changes from our reality. Can you walk me through your understanding of what is happening in that scene?

Alexander: So essentially, Michelle successfully jumped through the Rose window into the third dimension. Which is very similar to our reality outside of the show. But it is different because obviously Brit Marling and Jason Isaacs aren’t married in real life. But it is a dimension in which they are creating the show called “The OA.”

They even referenced it [when an earlier character told OA]: “Everyone will call you OA but you yourself will not.” They eluded to the fact that they’re creating this show called “The OA” and then when Karim has the view into it, he sees the set and how it parallels exactly what he was experiencing.

So Michelle jumped into the body of “Ian Alexander,” and is trapped there, and doesn’t know how to return back the dimension two. But when Karim calls out to Michelle she’s able to realize, “Oh, I need to go back to the rose window.”

It’s not really confirmed whether or not – once Michelle has jumped through back into Dimension Two and wakes up from that coma – if “Ian Alexander’s” consciousness is no longer repressed and it comes back. You’re not really sure what happens to “Ian Alexander” but that’s stuff that will certainly have to see in part three if it gets picked up.

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Ian Alexander as “Ian Alexander”/Michelle on “The OA” season two finale.

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Netflix

I definitely feel like it’s gonna be very interesting to see how Steve jumps into “Paddy Gibson’s” body and then chases after OA in the end. Yet again, this parallels what happened at the end of part one. But instead, this time, instead of the ambulance escaping him and OA’s body and consciousness escaping him, he is able to confront it and confront Hap as well. So yeah, it’s definitely something that I can’t fully 100% explain because I don’t have all the answers.

So Hap jumped into “Jason Isaac’s” body, OA jumps into “Brit Marling’s” body, Karim still remains Karim because he didn’t quite fully jump, he was just able to see it. And then Michelle jumps from “Ian Alexander’s” body back into Michelle’s body.

Renfro: Right.

Alexander: [Laughing ] Yeah. It’s very complicated and confusing, but that’s the best I can do.

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Patrick “Paddy” Gibson plays Steve on “The OA.”

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Netflix

Renfro: Did you ever get headaches on set while you were trying to figure out like, “I’m Ian but ‘Ian’ for this scene?”

Alexander: The first day we shot that scene on the soundstage, there was actually a bit of confusion on what I was supposed to wear for wardrobe. Initially they dressed me up as Michelle because they thought I was just supposed to be playing Michelle that day.

But before they put the wig on I was like, “No, actually I’m supposed to be Ian Alexander today so I just need to have my natural hair.” We had to exit the hair and makeup trailer, go onto stage, and consult with Zal [Batmanglij] like, “What am I supposed to be wearing in this scene?”

So yeah, it definitely caused a lot of confusion ’cause I would hear crew members being like, “Wait, what dimension are we in? Are we in three? Are we in two? What’s going on here?” But I think everyone managed well and it turned out really great.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

“The OA” is streaming now on Netflix. You can read all of INSIDER’s coverage of the series here.

The post ‘The OA’ star Ian Alexander helps explain Buck’s confounding final scene: ‘It’s very meta’, Defence Online appeared first on Defence Online.

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