#i guess that's how i'd describe it?
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goodnight tumblr .:-)
#im. so tired.#and strangely relaxed?#it's weird having the calmness of booze run over me when i haven't been drinking. makes my hands less shaky and my thoughts more.. clear?#i guess that's how i'd describe it?#hm. strange!#anyway. sleepy. goodnight .:-)#speaking.mp4
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I am thinking thoughts about airports and flying again. And Dreamling, of course.
So. Human AU. History professor Hob has to fly around a lot for work, perhaps for conferences or smth of the sort so it's always to a small handful of the same nearby cities. He's pretty neutral on the idea of flying in general, though he wishes it was a bit more environmentally friendly, but Hob is a sucker for a nice airport and especially a nice airport lounge during layovers or before boarding.
Hob has begun to frequent a small local airline (White Horse Air, the logo is a coat of arms with a little pegasus, wyvern, and hippogriff on it, haha) when traveling because he likes their service (they've never lost his bags, not even once!) and their flights are never fully booked, which makes them quieter and easier for hob's chronic pains. He always picks seats with no one next to him so he can sprawl out and so it's easier on his knees.
Until, one day, he boards the little plane and there's someone in the seat next to his. Hob's sure that when he booked his seat, the other one was empty. Oh well, whatever, Hob's not going to bother the other man already sitting there for one flight— he'll just have to be a little more mindful booking next time. Hob shuffles into the seat, and notices that the stranger sat beside him is reading Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur! Hob gets excited because! That's a William Caxton publication! And Hob has so much to say about Caxton! He turns to the stranger to strike up conversation about it and... is immediately lost at how pretty the stranger is. Handsome, gorgeous, yes of course, but pretty, with the shell pink lips and focused blue eyes and slight frown at the book in his hands. Hob picks up his metaphorical jaw off the metaphorical ground and strikes up conversation with the stranger. Though the other man starts off apprehensive, somehow the two hours of flying fly by and the two of them end up talking about all sorts of art, history, and everything in between. Hob learns that the stranger works in publishing, thus his interest in Caxton.
Their flight lands, and the two of them disembark at the gate, still attempting to continue their conversation while Hob tries to wrangle his carry-on bags. (The Stranger only has a small laptop bag on one shoulder and a suit jacket folded over his other arm with him.) Then Hob has to check the time and begrudgingly says that he should probably head towards his next gate soon— this is just a layover after all. The Stranger looks ever so slightly disappointed and admits that this is his actual destination and he needs to meet his sister soon. They part ways, and Hob tries to dwell on the strange warmth in his chest. He thinks about the Stranger for his entire work trip afterwards.
This, somehow, happens a couple times. Turns out they both frequent White Horse Air, and though they're never in booked seats next to each other again, the flights are always empty enough that they can shift to sit next to each other once the plane's in the air. They chat the flight away, and then part ways once they disembark, with the Stranger headed to the baggage claim and Hob to his next flight. One time, the Stranger even requests the hostess to bring out a special bottle of Chateau Lafitte 1828 just for the two of them to share. Hob's in awe. He really enjoys their conversations, it's nice to be able to talk about his interests in a non-academia environment. The Stranger always has the most intriguing and eye-opening perspectives on everything, too. It doesn't really help that Hob thinks... maybe he's developing a tiny, teeny, really inconsequential really crush on his Stranger. He's not in grade school anymore, how does he feel like this about someone he doesn't even know the name of yet!
This all comes to a head when Hob mentions to the Stranger that his layover is a bit longer than it usually is, and if the Stranger is in no rush, they can continue their conversation in one of the airport's lounges. White Horse Air is a bit too small an airline to have their own lounge, but Hob's collected enough miles to get into one of the other airline lounges and is fully willing to pay to get in one if it means more time with his Stranger.
The Stranger is extremely enthusiastic about the idea— which shows up physically as a subtle, coy upturning at the corner of his mouth and a little sparkle in his eye. (Hob feels proud that he can read this reaction so well.) He's so enthusiastic, in fact, that the Stranger offers to get them both into a first-class lounge. Hob doesn't even pretend to hesitate to say yes.
Let's just say they get to the lounge, split some cheese and wine, and the proceed to get even more enthusiastic with each other in a private room. Hob's lucky he brought a change of clothes in his carry-on. (Maybe Hob's not so lucky and can't sit comfortably during his next three-hour flight.)
Hob gets a bit emotional when he has to leave for his next flight (already missing being able to hold his Stranger's face so gently, being able to card his fingers through his soft, smokey hair) and gets his guts together to ask if the Stranger wants to exchange phone numbers or something, so they can be in contact more regularly. Perhaps even, meet on purpose maybe? The Stranger smiles and kisses him lightly on the cheek when he slips a business card into Hob's hand.
Hob's so caught up in it all that he doesn't check the business card until he's fully boarded and sat on his next flight. And he gawks.
Morpheus Aion The Dreaming Publishing House
As in, one of White Horse Air's biggest shareholders? Aion, as in, probably the sibling of Teleute Aion? As in, Teleute Aion, the CEO of White Horse Air?! Hob almost passes out.
In the end, Morpheus and Hob laugh it out. Morpheus promises he never abused his sibling privileges to invade Hob's privacy, but used the sibling perks to frequent White Horse Air flights a little more than he even needed to just for the chance to see Hob again. They're both happy to not need to keep flying just for that chance anymore, haha. Idiots in love! Turns out, while Teleute lives where Hob keeps having his layovers, Morpheus and Hob actually live just a few hours driving from each other from their shared initial departure location. It all works out perfectly, and Morpheus self-restraint from inviting Hob to move in (so they don't have to keep travelling to see each other, no matter how small) lasts not even a year after they officially start dating. Hob doesn't even pretend to hesitate to say yes :)
(Years down the line, much after they're married, Hob finally has enough miles to get them back into those first-class lounges to have more fun. It's all very lovely.)
#my thought process was “can i get them to fuck in an airport lounge room” and then i never even wrote that part#guess what i am also a sucker for a nice airport and an even nicer airport lounge. i am yearning for a nice flight rn#i genuinely love flying so much. not domestic travel but international travel is what my entire life revolves around and i am allowed to#romanticise it a little bit haha#anyway#(me describing morpheus' lips with a guitar color) ah yes literature#how the hell do i tag this#i dont usually post idea dumps like this but i have no where else to put it haha#i'd love to write it but i dont think i'd know how to approach this lol#if anyone wants to take this as a prompt go ahead!!#the sandman#dreamling#dc#rex speaks#rex writes#(?)#long post
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Me? Writing my Balan Wonderworld: Maestro of Mystery, Theatre of Wonders Self Insert chapter? Yeah why not. The tag's already full of OCs and S/Is, might as well add mine into the ring.
Bookworm
Balan Wonderworld Self Insert fic based on the novelization
Streetbeat ran his hand along the brick walls of the town around the Checkered King's castle as they walked, staring at his shoes as he pictured the girl, Fighter, and the man in the hat in his mind.
Who were they? What did they want? Why was he the only one who didn't see anything else...?
The texture along Streetbeat's fingers pulled him from his thoughts. He turned to the wall to see no longer medieval stone work, but books lined perfectly on a shelf that seemed to stretch up into forever.
The floor beneath his feet was no longer black and white tiles, but deep, chocolate brown wood. The narrow alley replaced with tall, cherry red wood stained bookshelves nearly over flowing with thickly bound novels.
Clocktower Kid and Pensive Pierrot turned a corner, with Streetbeat close on their tail, and came out to a skylighted library lobby. Plush seats, couches, pillows, and reading nooks filled every space that wasn't occupied by tables with piles upon piles of books. Transparent residents sat scattered around the area. There was a hush of chatter that never grew loud enough to make out words, like a soft static.
Clocktower kid made her way easily though the maze of plush chairs and towering book stacks to the front desk, which was just as over run by books as every other flat surface. She knocked politely on the large oak desk and called out into the room behind
"Helloooo? Bookworm, are you in?"
From around the corner came a puff of white hair, followed by the face of a young man. His bright red eyes looked almost unnaturally large behind a pair of oversized golden glasses.
"Ooooh! Clocktower kid! Pensive! Hello hello! One moment please!" The man called Bookworm called excitedly before disappearing back into the room behind the desk.
Streetbeat navigated the maze of chairs with the help of Pensive Pierrot and found himself glancing around the building he'd found himself in.
The walls were tall, and while in the stacks the bookshelves seemed to stretch indefinitely, from where he stood now they seemed completely reasonably sized, though he couldn't see the end of alleyways they made. On the ceiling was a large pane of glass in the shape of a tear drop, like the strange crystals that appeared in everyone's stage. Evening sunlight poured in and made the library almost seem to glow with warmth.
Finally, Bookworm stepped out of the backroom, placing a pile of books taller than himself on his desk, "Sorry for the wait." He spoke, pushing the books off to one side, "Shelving."
Bookworm's eyes fell on Streetbeat and lit up in realization.
"Oh! You're Streetbeat! It's so nice to finally meet you." He smiled and reached out a hand, Streetbeat assumed for a handshake and met him half way
"Yeah, likewise-" He began, only to stare in wonder as Bookworm placed a novel in his out stretched hand.
The book was wine red with golden lettering, the word Waltz was written in cursive at the top. There was no author or any sort of cover photo, just the title.
"what's...?" Streetbeat was so caught off guard he couldn't form a full question, he just looked quizzically up at Bookworm, who beamed back at him, seemingly proud of himself.
"Ah, that's how Bookworm welcomes people, he liked to recommend us all novels in his collection. I still haven't finished the one he loaned me..." Pensive explained, scratching the back of his head with a shy smile.
"I finished mine!" Clockwork Kid bragged, "And it was sooooo good I started reading it AGAIN!"
"Oooh, I'm so glad you liked it~" Bookworm cooed, resting his elbows on the desk, leaning closer to Clocktower Kid, "You know when the Prince stole poor Mary away-"
"Aaaaah I read all night to get past that part! I couldn't imagine Mary with anyone other than Atticus!!" Clocktower Kid squealed, pacing a bit in place.
Bookworm nodded, "They get there in the end of course but that carriage accident, oh and the poor bunny, it's just all too stressful!" The short man sighed, then sat up straight and clapped his hands, "But enough about that! Are you three here to peruse the stacks?"
"Actually," Pensive spoke, "we came to talk to you. We think something bad might be happening in Wonderworld."
As Pensive Pierrot explained the visions everyone had been having of the girl and the man in the hat, Streetbeat took a moment again to look around the library.
Every stage so far had been missing something, something obvious to everyone but the stage's inhabitant. He thought it was weird the novel Bookworm had given him didn't have an author on it, but it wasn't unheard of, so he decided to do a little snooping, just to be sure.
Streetbeat picked up a random book from one of the stacks on a nearby low table, it was a deep forest green with the word Nightfall written in bold golden lettering. The one under it was a soft baby pink, the word Daybreak was seemingly stamped on in a deep blue simple font.
The one under than and the one under that followed suit, a single color cover with a one word title and no author.
Streetbeat put all the books back where he'd gotten them and turned back to the group, where Bookworm was now standing with his arms crossed, biting the tip of his thumb.
"I... I have... seen them..." He admitted hesitantly, glancing at the stack he'd pushed to the side before, which seemed now unbalanced and ready to topple at any moment.
"Did you see anything else?" Pensive asked as Streetbeat came to his side again.
Bookworm seemed to hesitate, biting harder at the tip of his thumb as he glanced around the library lobby.
"I saw a monster," Clocktower Kid admitted, putting her hand on the desk in front of Bookworm, "it was scary.. I didn't wanna talk about it either.."
Bookworm released a sigh he'd been holding at Clocktower Kid's confession and placed his hand on hers, holding it. He closed his eyes a moment and took a deep breath, the tower of books next to him stopped swaying.
"I saw a building... It was huge, and the doors were open like I was supposed to go in but I... I felt like going in would be my doom... Like I'd be trapped there forever..."
Clocktower Kid held Bookworm's hand tightly in her own, a look of sympathy on her face.
Bookworm took another deep breath, "Who is he? The man in the hat?"
"We don't know," Streetbeat placed his hand on the desk, "But we think something bad's going to happen."
Bookworm looked between the three of them, then squarely at Pensive, "Have you spoken to Lance?"
Pensive winced at the question, glancing first to Streetbeat, then Clocktower kid, before sighing, "Yeah... He warned us to stay out of it..."
Bookworm released Clocktower Kid's hands and stood up straight, "Then that's what I'll do." He turned and picked up half the books from the stack beside him, then walked off into the bookselves.
"Wait!" Streetbeat followed quick on his heels, Pensive hesitating only to follow as Clocktower Kid raced after the two of them.
"Aren't you worried? Somethings happening, these visions, they're not nothing!" Streetbeat argued when he caught up to Bookworm, who shelved books without so much as looking.
"If Lance says it's better to stay out of it, I trust him." Bookworm spoke matter-of-factly, pushing along a large latter on wheels.
"But what if something happens to Wonderworld?"
"Lance will take care of it, he takes care of us."
"But-"
Pensive Pierrot put his hand on Streetbeat's shoulder to stop him, he and Clocktower kid both shook their heads.
Streetbeat sighed and nodded, admitting defeat. He looked down at the Waltz book in his hand before setting in on a nearby self.
He followed the two down the seemingly never ending rows of books until they found themselves standing amidst ancient ruins, the stage of a man called Invisible Custodian.
#Emile's Writing#Balan Wonderworld#Self Insert#Me: I'm not gonna self insert into Balan Wonderworld I don't have any good ideas#Me like three days later: Librarby#very very VERY based on my favorite book series Hell's Library. Because it is my Ideal Place really#Aaaah I did miss writing a bit I'm glad I did this#Thought my finger tips are kinda numb dkfjgkfdjgkd It's been a WHILE now#I dunno what Monster I would be but I do have my reason for going to Wonderworld and little Trauma custscene worked out#I'm sure it's easy to guess though#This isn't really written in the style of the Novel because the Novel is pretty bare bones about describing people and places and#Well really everything. Like how people talk and hold themselves and such#Because it's very very based on the game#So I gave a little more flavor text what's it to ya?#Anyway. That's all. Thanks for reading if you did#I'd say I'd write more but that'd include eventually writing Balan or Lance and they both Rhyme and I can't. I can't write that.#So this is it so sorry but thanks for reading anyway
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Hello! I hope that you are doing well!
I just wanted to send you a question regarding the amount of power Rhea has in Fódlan since something came to my mind. You know how during Edelgard's coronation, she said to her father that, "The Archbishop of the Church of Seiros would normally act as witness, but my professor will fill that role instead"?
Unless I missed something [or am overthinking], do you believe that Rhea was even there to witness Ionius' coronation?
We were told in the game that it had been ages since a member of House Hresvelg enrolled into the Officers Academy as well as that there had recently been a rift between the Adrestian Empire and the Church of Seiros.
Therefore, to me at least, that implied that said rift had been going on for a while. And I do not see why they would allow her there if such a thing was going on. Yet, Rhea does not retaliate against this as far as I know. Then there is the fact that Edelgard is allowed to be coronated without Byleth's presence. The Southern Church was dismantled, too, so…I think it is safe to say that there was not an official to witness her from there as well. lol
To put it simply, it feels very contradictory to me and adds a crack into the "Rhea controls Fódlan" perspective.
Hi!
I agree, that NPC going all "the empire and hthe church cut ties eons agao that's why supreme leader is the first imperial heir to attend since ages" suggests Rhea wasn't very welcomed in Enbarr.
FWIW the Nopes book about the Southern Church incident reveals the Emperor of that time already wanted to cut ties with the Central Church - and used this rebellion (which was more or less a Varley daughter wanting to have a role instead of letting her bother inherit everything?) as an excuse to finally give them the boot.
In a nutshell, I heavily doubt Rhea was around when Ionius was coronated, if her Church was already "not welcomed" by the time the Southern Church was disbanded.
The Archbishop acting as witness might be just some sort of old ceremonial thing, just like the "covenant of the red blood and the white sword", maybe all coronations try to renact the "oath" Wilhelm took/swore to Seiros when she presumably made him Emperor of Adrestia? And the Archbishop acts as a stand in for Seiros (even if we know better!) when the oath is sworn again by Willy's descendants?
As you pointed out, the Archbishop being present or not is merely decorum, since nowhere the game suggests that in the non-CF routes, Supreme Leader's coup coronation isn't regular or anything.
Rhea controlling Fodlan isn't backed up by canon, Adrestia has been doing its own thing for several centuries, the CoS only provides help (the game doesn't tell us what it is!) to Faerghus : Dimitri becomes King not because Rhea crowns or splashes oil on him, but because he is the Crown Prince and the last heir of the previous King. As for the Alliance, it does its own thing without her input!
#dovehearts-blog#replies#FE16#Rhea/the CoS controls Fodlan is a take sponsorised by NoA and Treehouse#even in the european websites we didn't get that shit to describe Fodlan#on that regard we're closer to the jp description of the continent than to the US one for once#I'd say Rhea has a complicated relationship with Adrestian Emperors#she can't help but be disappointed because they're not Wilhelm and will never equal him#only he has the 'great' title lol#and they don't follow the CoS and its principles like remember when they tried to invade Brigid/Dagda? Or fed northeners to beasts for fun?#and yet they're the scions of Wilhelm so maybe she can call them her allies? If she needs help they will provide? (we know how it ends lol)#in the half lizard lycaon AU she has even more conflicted feelings bcs#those people aren't willy nor lycaon when it was him who was supposed to be there#everytime she witnesses a new coronation she remembers this coronation happens#because her kid was torn apart by the very people she's crowning#children aren't their parents she knows it and yet there's still that small heartache#bcs Ionius 1 to Ionius 9 aren't Lycaon#back to canon i guess the CoS's presence in Adrestia is mostly ceremonial#to replay the willy'n'seiros alliance#but nothing as important as if Rhea says tut-tut the Emperor cannot be crowned#rhea stuff
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i don't think i can watch the substance just because horror movies are *really* not for me
but i am fascinated by the styling of sue - the incredible 80s-ness of it
from the contrasting dayglow legwarmer-esque socks, to the very obvious 'fun!' makeup, the aquanet-sprayed hair, the poufy baby blue dream-barbie "gown", even to the cut of that iconic leotard
and contrasted with elizabeth's more modern - as of ten years ago - look with the 'natural' or 'classic' makeup and hair: shades of the gwyneth paltrow-style health guru
like i've only seen gifs and photos but sometimes the details are even more obvious - the way sue's front teeth are whitened but when she smiles big you can see the rest of her teeth are yellowed like
that is so obvious it's absolutely on purpose but what is it? it looks normal to me because in the 80s they hadn't hit on 'high def' beauty yet
very likely that's what ekizabeth's teeth looked like back when she started out - isn't sue supposed to be 'better'? or is it purely just 'younger'?
i've really never seen a recent movie get the tiny imperfections of an 80s styling so right before - down to sue's slightly off lipstick application that only someone that young and pretty could get away with
it's amazing and so very clearly directed by a woman
(and also i may be projecting but i feel like demi moore probably had input into some of the detail - they have that vibe of someone who had *been there*)
#if this movie had an 80s soundtrack i think i'd *have* to watch it#the comment somebody made about jennifer connelly that i can't remember exactly took me out#because she used to get confused with demi all the time in the 80s since they both had the strong brows#just like qualley does here - like the resemblance to 80s women's styling is SPOOKY in the parts i've seen#well specifically the styling of women in pinup posters and vhs movie posters and vanity 'workout' videos#and the 'imperfect' makeup look that has made a purposeful comeback i guess as a revokt against the#18-step including contour 'natural' look is on display even in the idk how to describe it#the 'flat' saturation of color in the eyeshadow#like this movie is in convesation with so many eras of popular conceptions of beauty and yes demi was inspired casting#because of what she represents and has been through but also what she can bring to the table in talent and insight#so yeah there's so much more to this movie but what has arrested me is just this one area of detail lol#because for me at my age it's just jarringly correct in a way things like the barbie movie et al. never quite manage
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Weird having an actual favorite band and knowing it. I don't really have many favorites it is hard to understand my feelings and even harder to pinpoint a 'better and more' feeling about one specific thing. But I know all of their songs, I listen to them all in a big playlist and never get bored, I am always happy to hear any song by them, I have every song's lyrics memorized, like ... they are my unequivocal favorite. There is nothing like it. Yes, I can get really into other songs, there are probably singular songs I can say I like more than any one song by this band. But I guess having a favorite is like what people say about getting married. I'm not explaining myself on that one actually I do have a point there that's an actual metaphor but I've decided explaining it is a bad use of my time. It's one of those artists that are popular enough and artsy enough that they can crop up as fic titles occasionally and no matter the lyric or song it comes from I can always tell immediately. I don't remember what the point of this post was I'm deep in my panic phase and it's 4 am and I was just sitting there singing I Have Made Mistakes to myself bc I can just do that, the whole song, and because it is very funny to go I have made mistakes I have made mistakes and I will continue to make them while in the middle of freaking the fuck out about existing or something. Bc you know yeah im one spoon away from setting the ends of my hair in fire because if I'm kindling for a little while at least I'll feel of use ????????? Yeah this post for sure had a point and it's devolved.
#tide of consciousness#Sorry that's a lot of text wow#Can we talk about the existential panic. I've been dying to talk about the existential panic#<- doesn't talk about it#Does anyone else get this. The feeling that is like the world is ending and its drowning and burning and it burns and nothing will ever beo#My best guess is I just have anxiety but it is very hard to believe that bc it feels so all consuming and terrifying and so so so much so m#The worst part is I'm not actually even feeling it I'm just sitting here using words that I know describe it bc it's like it just#Is happening. Behind a wall. And I'm here feeling the heat on the doorknob#Translating between the space where the feeling exists and the space where I reside#At some point I just go oh. I've been experiencing the world-ending terror for hours now#Like reading a letter!!!!!!!!! I just get a letter from my brain that goes 'emotions report. It all burned down years ago'#It's like and I know if I was in it I'd be crying and shaking and despairing so deeply and throwing myself around the room#And I feel like this EVERY OTHER DAY. Which is obviously why I apparently partitioned myself away from the feeling#Because you literally just you can't function with that#But surprise it's still there actually and I'm still having 2 breakdowns minimum a week#But now it looks like I'm normal and functioning to everyone else#So I seem like a horrible lazy fucking asshole who doesn't do anything but sit around accomplishing maybe 3? 4? Total minor tasks per day#Because I can't HANDLE ANYTHING ELSE !!!#HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FIX THIS#This is for sure something I shouldn't post but you know that's a rational thought for rational people
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if i was an artist with budget i'd be able to draw the buildup and all. i am not an artist with budget tho. so 3 panels will do
Kinda suggestive/nsfw tags btw go there with caution
anyways i think i huave covid
#perceptive little crow#fettered paintbrushes#never thought i'd be able to make a kiss scene this good. it's not spectacular but yesssssssss it's exactly what i wanted#anyhow i'll die and go to hell#depending on how im feeling I'd give you two answers over how this went down#the first one is that peka just was struggling for his life to get the knot done (he's doing a hard one) so he went#'ok maybe if i make out with her I'll be able to hide the fact i can't do this at all'#the second one is that. man. tying someone's tie? having your hands close to their body in an attempt to do something for them?#SPECIALLY what might as well be the love of your life? the one person that you just can't stop looking up to?#man that's hot as fuck#snd he felt it#of course he couldn't describe it (nor that he knows the words anyways) but he felt it deep down#the way im wording this kinda seems like this would've been their first time. like both kissing/making out and#hell maybe even having sex together#which honestly? kinds fits#i guess one of the things about their relationship is the restrain they have#i don't even know why it'd happen yet. i just feel like they wouldn't really like...allow themselves to be intimate. at all#maybe some hugs here and there but never something actually like. deeper#it's just kind of a fun scenario if the bubble finally broke in such an innocuous moment#only because one of the parties felt a little bit more aroused than usual. and decided to act upon it#i guess that'd make it the more painful once they separate bc they literally wouldn't have time to enjoy each other anymore#anyways thoughts thoughts#sorry for being insane over teorija with a suit i think a sleeper agent just activated on me#anywayssss
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Oh, okay. Realised that I can barely remember how my cat's meowing sounded. That hurts. I know that it was high pitched but not always squeaky, but sometimes squeaky. Picturing it in my mind isn't so easy anymore though.
#she died in 2018 but i'm not sure i'll ever really get over it since. i had to watch and she was very distressed as she died#it could've been more traumatic i guess but when she did pass. i don't know how to describe the sheer agonised shout that left me#ready player one was on the tv and despite it being a film i really enjoyed. i can no longer watch it#because every time i see it all i can think of is the way that she suddenly went completely still#since she stopped breathing before she died#i sat alone in that room for a short amount of time with my hand over the lifeless body of an animal i'd watched grow from birth to death#it was christmas day and i found her convulsing in pain and confusion as the cancer killed her#i'm not particularly fond of that day now all things considered. not that i was a major fan before for various reasons#i was 16 and i'd just started college and just cut my mother off and just lost a family member#i miss my midnight#thorn talks
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why is everyone including my mbti type telling me I should become an engineer💔💔
#(im an istp)#I mean im not completely opposed to it...#mainly just upset because this means I have to continue taking math next year#I THOUGHT I'D FINALLY BE FREE OF IT#my mom is likw take civil engineering you get to draw stuff😀#you and I both know that's not what civil engineering is at all#my heart belongs to humanities ☹ (as in history philosophy literature and polisci)#geography can die though!!#I do well in them too but my parents think there aren't any real jobs you can get taking them#I guess it doesn't help my case that the best way I can describe my ideal job is “something that involves writing”#I want to be a historian but you see...I can't really explain to them how exactly to become one or what they do...#because I don't really know myself...#anyways gonna shut up now<3#mbti#studyblr#trey's terrors
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for the writing ask-- 3 and 26!
3. How would you describe your writing style?
I don't know actually. Wordy?
26. What would you describe as OOC?
Answered this one here!
~
From this meme!
#asks and answers#memey goodness#i'm not trying to be facetious i genuinely don't know how i'd describe my style#or how i'd describe the style of most other writers#probably self-reflective i guess?#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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i do really luv being called bunny . it's part of the gender at this point.
#i have been thinking . a lot about how i am ? i guess? nonbinary?#but the word nonbinary isn't IT. if i described myself and my gender and the way i feel about it#probably someone else would say i'm nonbinary? but it doesn't quite sit right. like#like a shirt that hangs weird off my shoulders. like hm i GUESS i could wear this. but i'd really rather not#idk! idk. it's all very........ something.
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god this is such a perfect example of a song that immediately lodges itself into my brain on the first listen and im required to listen to it multiple times a day bc it loops in my brain incessantly. i wish i was better at describing why i like certain kinds/parts of songs, but like. whatever is happening in the chorus tickles my brain so effectively it's scary
youtube
#banebabbles#it's about the cadence. i guess that's how i'd describe it?#how the words sound bouncing from one to another#there is just something special about japanese that makes the syllables hit idk how else to convey it#Youtube#also this is my first time watching the vid for this#wtf it's so cuuute
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going feral once again over bdubs' artistic spirit
#I'm just.. words can't describe how what he comes up with make me feels#it's such an inspiration#not only his ideas but the execution#and presentation#just his character as a whole I guess#every time I watch buildin with bdubs find myself not sure if I'd like more being like him or being married to someone like him#yknow?#fellas I'm once again enamoured with how another human just is#like every day he's just out there being him??#am I making any sense?#hello??#bdubs#mcyt#myminestuff
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so like. does the loneliness last forever.
#i see my friends i have roommates i get along with my coworkers i do other activities where i see people...#im too comfortable at fris im too negative im too weird#but we won this week!#to be fair though. i have good friendships i very very rarely have close friendships#i guess i'd describe 2 of my like...8-idk 15 continuing hs/college friendships as close. i see 1 of those 2 regularly#i was lonely then too ig its just how it is#but it was different.#AND IM SPENDING THE NEXT 6MO WITH MY MOM. NO FRIENDS. JUST MY MOM.#well and her students. ad my brother
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My real secret hope for Alecto the Ninth isn’t that griddlehark finally kiss, or that anybody cool gets to show up again, or even that Jod gets his ass handed to him in a kickass way.
My hope is that nobody ends the story immortal.
#the locked tomb series#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#alecto the ninth#it's a personal thing but i just really don't like immortality as an ending for most characters#and this story especially takes so many pains to describe how much being immortal fucks you up#so even if perfect lyctorhood happens which i think it will i really hope immortality isn't the endgame#especially for our main girls my god#they never got to be children and barely got to be teens#i'd like it if they at least got a chance to be regular ass people#alecto can still be immortal i guess but my hope for her is that she gets to return to just being the earth#and not stuck in a barbie body that she hates
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something difficult about writing/storytelling but only in short disconnected bursts is that writing anything longform is very difficult. there isn't as much time to practice long-term character development or subtlety (implying character instead of immediately clarifying) when its not really meant to go anywhere but a notes app. its a little frustrating...i'd love to do something more longform though. i've considered maybe just doing some short writing scenes in my various original universes a lot recently mostly because i just havent had time to draw anything fancy recently </3 maybe that would be something...
#briefly talked about it with a coworker today bc i mentioned my brother makes music#and she got excited because she paints and she showed me some of her work (beautiful btw!!!)#and said she hopes he pursues music and doesnt get his heart crushed by retail like we do#we still make things but ive been thinking about it...it really is like#i feel like ive had less TIME to make things but ive also developed more interest in my own ideas#and in constructing them on their own terms. its hard to describe and even harder to share because its#not churning out fanart for a response i guess?#i dont know. i do feel more satisfied with what im planning but theres less to share#anyway i promised her i'd show her my art sometime so essentially i have to flee the country now#she does lovely work she paints pictures of pets and it seems so nice. she seems so happy with it!#its like...i love it. im a little jealous of it. i feel so much pressure to Do Something New with my art#try to craft scenes and settings (i think setting is such ann important part of storytelling but i have so much trouble drawing it!)#and try new compositions and poses and just not have everything look the same all the time#its led to a lot of work im proud of but its also hard to create under those expectations...#i wish i could find a niche and settle into it comfortably. i think fun character drawings could be that for me#but its...it frustrates me to post those because it feels like if its easy and i like doing it and how it turns out then im not trying#okay i think im done now. sorry for these rambling introspective posts lately lol im#trying to warm back up to posting so i can use this website again (despite how very very bad it is)...#i want to see my frieeeeeends <//////3 i want to be here without running away <///3
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