#because she used to get confused with demi all the time in the 80s since they both had the strong brows

[xcziel]

i don't think i can watch the substance just because horror movies are *really* not for me

but i am fascinated by the styling of sue - the incredible 80s-ness of it

from the contrasting dayglow legwarmer-esque socks, to the very obvious 'fun!' makeup, the aquanet-sprayed hair, the poufy baby blue dream-barbie "gown", even to the cut of that iconic leotard

and contrasted with elizabeth's more modern - as of ten years ago - look with the 'natural' or 'classic' makeup and hair: shades of the gwyneth paltrow-style health guru

like i've only seen gifs and photos but sometimes the details are even more obvious - the way sue's front teeth are whitened but when she smiles big you can see the rest of her teeth are yellowed like

that is so obvious it's absolutely on purpose but what is it? it looks normal to me because in the 80s they hadn't hit on 'high def' beauty yet

very likely that's what ekizabeth's teeth looked like back when she started out - isn't sue supposed to be 'better'? or is it purely just 'younger'?

i've really never seen a recent movie get the tiny imperfections of an 80s styling so right before - down to sue's slightly off lipstick application that only someone that young and pretty could get away with

it's amazing and so very clearly directed by a woman

(and also i may be projecting but i feel like demi moore probably had input into some of the detail - they have that vibe of someone who had *been there*)

[dyscrasia-eucrasia]

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Part 29 (NSFW)

"He's soooo cute," Angel cooed, leaning down to nuzzle the goat's forehead. The baby animal was docile and willing to let himself be carried. "What are you gonna name him?" 

"I'm thinking Nike," Demie said, reaching out and patting the goat's back. 

"Like the shoe company?" Angel didn't even think Demie knew the names of shoe brands, considering he had hooves. 

"No, like the goddess." 

"Nike's a goddess?" 

"Yeah. Greek goddess of victory." 

Angel looked down at the goatling in his arms. "I thought he was a boy. Why name him after a goddess?" 

Demie withdrew his hand and looked away. Angel thought he saw his face get a little darker. "Well," Demie mumbled, "she, like… had bird wings…" 

"Oh my god," Angel's face broke into a large smile. "So you're saying she looks like an angel? Are you saying you're naming him after me?" 

"Sh-shut up," Demie muttered, heading back to the shed behind the trailer. Angel followed after him, still holding Nike in his arms. 

"So I was thinking," Angel said as Demie grabbed a hay bale, "about the phone issue. Do you think if you could save up money, you could get one?" 

Demie scattered hay on the ground and the goats rushed towards him. Angel peered inside the shed. It was weird - it was a big shed, with one half of it storage for hay and goat feed, and the other set up like the most low-budget sound studio in the world. 

"Yeah, but it's not like I can go get a job," Demie said. 

"I was thinking about that," Angel continued. "Have you ever thought about doing farmer's markets?" 

Demie cast him a side-long glance. "Selling what? I'm not a farmer." 

"No, but they aren't just for produce. You make all sorts of food, you could sell cheese, or those goat treats that you make." 

"And what do I say about the horns?" 

"Well, I was thinking you don't even have to go to the markets. I could run a booth for you." 

Demie shut the shed door and gave Angel another weird glance. 

"I mean, I understand if you don't trust me with your money--" Angel began, but was cut off. 

"No, I trust you. I just… I'll think about it. I don't make things for other people." 

Fair enough, Angel thought. Though he had the feeling Demie wouldn't take too much more convincing to agree to the idea. 

Demie headed back for the trailer. Angel set the goatling down and it pranced off to be with its mother. 

"So, do you want to, like, listen to another musical album?" Angel asked as they entered the trailer through the back door. 

"Um…" Demie stopped, looked over his shoulder at Angel, and scuffed one hoof on the kitchen linoleum.��

"What?" Angel asked. 

"I just… I got an idea, but you can say no…" Demie said, half muttering the words. 

"Okay? What is it?" 

"You wanna be, like… J.O. buddies?" 

Angel was sure he misheard that. "Do I want to be what?" 

"Like…" Demie looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Like, jerk-off buddies. It's not gay, it's just, y'know… just a guy thing." 

That most certainly was not just a guy thing. But Angel wasn't sure what to say. It felt like Demie was propositioning him, but by dancing around the issue. Was this his way of trying to come out? 

"Nevermind, forget it," Demie said, clearly taking Angel's stunned silence as rejection. 

"I didn't say no," Angel said. "I'm just a little… surprised, is all. I wouldn't have thought you would want a gay guy to masturbate with you." 

"I'm not homophobic," Demie stressed. "And it's not a gay thing, either." 

"So you've said." Angel's mind was reeling. He felt like he should say no, if only because Demie himself seemed so confused. But he really wanted to say yes. 

"Did you want to do it, like, right now…?" Angel asked. 

"Uh…" Demie looked at the floor, resisting eye contact. "Yeah. Yeah, I mean... If you're up to it." 

Angel cocked his head to the side, trying to get a better look of Demie's face. His face was definitely red, and he was fidgeting. Angel tried to remember if he'd been that nervous the first time he'd done anything sexual with a guy. 

It still felt weird, but he'd also started to think of it as a way of helping Demie open up. Maybe Demie just needed a safe way to explore his sexuality. Angel would be okay with being his first gay experience. 

"Sure," Angel said. 

"Cool, cool," Demie said, not looking up. "Um… my room's over here." He headed across the living room without looking at Angel. 

Demie's room was about what Angel had expected. It was cluttered, with a bed in one corner, multiple guitar stands in another, and a small, ratty couch and vintage TV pressed up against opposite walls. There were piles of dirty shirts next to the bed, and tons of band posters on the wall. The wall right above the bed was covered in Polaroids.

"I, um, I've only got straight porn," Demie said, crouching down in front of a small bookcase next to the bed. 

"That's fine," Angel said. "I can deal." 

"Cool," Demie murmured, selecting a VHS box and turning on the TV. He jammed the VHS into the VCR, picked up a remote, and crossed over to sit on the far end of the couch. Angel felt awkward - even by hookup standards, this was bizarre. But he sat down at the other end of the couch. He got the feeling that Demie would freak out if he got too close. Not that it mattered much - the sofa was a loveseat, and there wasn't much room between them. 

A porno that looked like it was from the 80s started up on the TV. Angel glanced at Demie, but Demie kept his eyes glued to the screen. What was going on on the screen was almost surreal - the stiff acting, awkward almost felt like something out of Twin Peaks. The plot was minimal - something about a pizza boy and a babysitter. Angel knew the stereotypes about porn, but he was used to just finding free stuff on the internet, which cut out any pretense and went straight into the fucking. 

As the pizza boy fondled the babysitter, Demie let out a loud breath through his nose. Angel glanced over to see Demie's dick slide out of the thing he'd called a sheath. It was weird how it did so. Almost alien. 

Demie's dick was big. The biggest Angel had ever seen in person. Almost frighteningly so. And it was human. Demie had said as much, but Angel had kind of doubted it. 

With his eyes still locked on the screen, Demie took hold of his dick and started to stroke it. Angel felt like he probably shouldn't stare, but Demie's dick was doing more for him than the porn. He wasn't sure about the etiquette - he'd never just sat and masturbated with anyone before, especially not someone who purported to be just a platonic friend - but he was cognizant of his own erection and unzipped his pants to alleviate some of the pressure on it. 

The woman on the TV gasped and moaned as the man pumped his cock into her at a steady, rhythmic pace. Her cries sounded fake, and Angel wondered how anyone could find that sort of thing arousing. 

But he wasn't really focused on the porn. Demie was working his own cock with his right hand, pumping up and down with little in the way of technique. He was quiet, but his breathing was starting to get heavy, his nostrils flaring. Angel imagined what Demie's breath would feel like on his neck, what his cock would feel like in his ass. Would his fur be ticklish, or would it just feel coarse? 

He was curious, and he couldn't hold back his curiosity much longer. He reached over with his left hand and placed his palm on Demie's thigh. Demie paused, looking over at him. 

His fur was coarse, but not wiry. Just not extremely soft. But it was nice. 

Angel knew he was pushing the limit, but he wondered if the fur of Demie's groin was softer than that of his legs. He slid his hand up, going against the grain of the fur. Demie didn't say anything, but stopped masturbating. 

"Do you want some help?" Angel asked. 

For the first time since they'd entered the trailer, Demie looked at him and made eye contact. He nodded vigorously. 

The fur on the inside of Demie's thigh was definitely softer. Not like a cat or a dog, but still softer than his thighs. Angel's hand went higher. His fingertips brushed Demie's. Demie let go of his cock, and Angel took the opening to wrap his fingers around the stiff, hot shaft. His thumb brushed the head, which was dripping with precum. Demie didn't stop him. 

Angel moved slowly, almost like he was approaching a small animal, and any sudden movements would spook it. He circled the tip of Demie's cock with his thumb, spreading slickness around the glans. Demie twitched in his hand, and Angel could see him grasp the couch cushions. 

Angel began to pump the shaft of Demie's cock, giving his wrist a little twist each time he brought his hand back down. Demie's breathing was getting heavier. 

Then, Angel leaned forward and took Demie's cock in his mouth. 

He heard Demie breath in sharply. He relaxed his jaw, moving his head down until he began to gag. There was no way in Hell he'd manage to fit all of Demie's length into his mouth, not without deepthroating him, and while Angel had a lot of talents, that was not one of them. So he grasped the base of the shaft with one hand, lifting and rotating his hand as he lifted his head again. He made sure to use his tongue to tease at the head of Demie's cock. 

Demie's body language was stiff, but slowly, he raised a hand and set it on the top of Angel's head, ruffling his hair. Angel closed his watering eyes and tried to stifle a moan as Demie rolled his thumb across his forehead. He didn't make any attempt to force Angel's head further down, and Angel appreciated it. 

He'd been at it for what felt like a few minutes, his own hard-on becoming painful as he ignored it to focus on Demie's, when the woman on the screen began to make fake noises of climax. Demie's cock twitched in Angel's mouth, and the next thing he knew, Demie's hands were on his shoulders, forcefully pushing him away. Angel's eyes fluttered open and he sputtered as his head jerked back, moments before Demie ejaculated, the stream narrowly missing Angel's face. 

The two sat like that for a moment, Angel still leaning over, held an arm's length away, while Demie panted as if he'd just got done running a marathon. 

Suddenly, Demie jumped to his feet, cock now hanging limply between his legs, a line of cum glittering against the fur of his left leg, and left the room, walking into the adjacent bathroom, leaving Angel alone with his thoughts.

[purplesurveys]

752

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, my girlfriend is super laidback and in fact she’s always the one encouraging me to go out and try new stuff with other people.

Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? No but that doesn’t sound like a very nice thing to do either.

How many true heartbreaks have you had in your lifetime? In a romantic sense, once. I’ve had my heart crushed in other ways as well, like when a loved one dies.

Who last grabbed your ass? It’s definitely Gab but I don’t remember when that was. It’s been a while.

Have you ever cut yourself? Yeah man, I was big on that from 2016-2017. If I remember correctly I had a short lapse last year too, which is disappointing.

Do you get a 'Good Morning' text from someone every day? Not everyday but often enough. I like them; I do feel like I need greetings like those more so these days since I haven’t gotten to see anyone other than my family for two months now.

Do you have any gay family members? I honestly think I do but my family is so secretive about everything, from family drama to who has a terminal illness to sexual orientation. I will probably be the first one to publicly come out, if everything goes right in the new few months.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? I got it from one of the independent clothing stores in Feliz. They sold all these really cute tiny halter tops for only ₱80 each ($1.60)?!?!?! which was wild so I went ahead and got like four, and one of them is what I’m wearing at the moment. I’m so desperate to be outside, or at least, feel like I’m outside, so I’ve taken to wearing the clothes I’d wear in public right at home loooool.

Do any of your friends dislike each other? Yes lmao it’s hilarious. Andrew (who’s part of the newer wave of members in our org) has never been able to win over my OG org friends – Jo, Kate, Aya – so it gets super awkward when both ~generations~ get together in org parties. Since I’m everyone’s friend I always have to divide my time between groups or tables so that I get to spend time with everyone :(

Who is your last missed call from? It was from Angela’s mom, who called on the morning of my birthday to greet me. I feel bad about missing the call but you have to know that I hate getting calls from anyone other than Gabie, so when I woke up to my phone ringing I just rolled over to the other side and let the call pass. I did thank her profusely once I was properly up though.

Do you feel like everything is falling apart around you? This was me last night. As a journalism major, I felt very helpless seeing ABS-CBN get off the air at 7:47 PM and even more helpless when I saw so many people rejoicing over their shutdown, with absolutely no regard for the 11,000 employees who have just lost their jobs. Times have been hard enough in the country because of the government’s poor response to the virus, and now one of our biggest sources of news and information has also been silenced. It was enough to make me shut down last night and I just couldn’t do anything, couldn’t think properly, couldn’t even talk to my girlfriend.

Was your first kiss romantic? I’ve always thought it had been more awkward, but when we got to talking about it in the past my girlfriend apparently found it very romantic and sweet.

Do you miss any of your ex's right now? No ex.

Have you ever overdosed on anything? I have not.

What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? Look two questions above.

Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed? No one texted me before bed but I did get a text upon waking up this morning; it was Andrew. I’m guessing they saw that I deactivated all my social media last night because they texted their concern for me and told me they were gonna be there for me if I needed anyone to talk to.

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? One.

Do you know anybody whose last name is a color? Answered this in a survey but yeah, Maroon and Black.

What are you most likely to go to jail for? Ooh I dunno, I’m honestly such a goody two shoes skskksks. Does answering back to the police count? That’s the legit worst thing I imagine myself doing.

Where was your last kiss? Near my car. I was leaving Gabie’s place and she walked me to my car, and I gave her a kiss before I left.

Who was your date to Prom? My cousin. I didn’t give a shit about prom during my junior year since I was super infatuated with Gabie then, I was already seeing her, and I still had no guy friends, but because prom in my school was mandatory attendance I just pulled my favorite cousin to be with me that night.

Do you still talk to your first love? Yeah, I’m still with her to this day.

Whose wedding did you go to first? I honestly don’t remember since I was gotten as flower girl so many times as a toddler. I do have photos of being a flower girl when I was 3 and at least, that’s the oldest-documented wedding I was in. I don’t know whose it was, but it must have been a very distant relative since I only went with my paternal grandparents and absolutely no one else from my family, not even my parents lol.

When is the last time you went to the beach? Nasugbu, August 2019.

Do you ever feel like life is going by too fast? For sure. April was a fucking blur.

Are you ashamed of anyone you've dated in the past? No but my friends have always made me feel like not dating Mike was a bullet dodged. I dunno what to think of it though as I barely knew/know him.

What about anyone you've been friends with? Mostly no, since former friends were important to me at some point and to be ashamed of them is to throw away the good times we did have, but I do prefer to dissociate myself from Athenna. Her behavior has turned so rotten in college and she badmouthed Angela and made her miserable for a very long time; it’s like I have no clue who she is now. Apparently people in her school also think she’s a fucking weirdo, so that has just made me all the more confused about what’s happened to her through the years.

Have you ever made out with someone in a pool? In the sea, yes. Not in a pool since there’s always kids around.

What are you doing this weekend? Same thing I’ve been doing the last 51 days I guess: have late breakfast, take several surveys, maybe take a nap, continue my Spanish lessons, play with my dog, take more surveys, maybe meet some progress on my thesis if I feel mentally capable to work on it.

Who’s the last person that slept over your house? I think it was Gabie. I’m really the only family member that brings over someone at our place for the night haha, and it’s usually Gabie.

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Yes.

Have you ever kissed someone with a tongue ring? No but this did remind me of when I used to have a big crush on CM Punk, who used to have a lip ring hahahahahaha.

Is it hard for you to get over a lover? As a demi, I imagine it would be very hard as it would also be losing a best friend.

Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex? I wouldn’t say that. I have a couple of close friends though.

Was your mom ever a stripper? No.

Do you regret any of the relationships you were in? A little bit. I wish my first relationship with Gabie ended months sooner than it actually did. The last few months of it were just us beating around the bush and physically avoiding it each other in school; it was a huge waste of time.

Have you ever tried making someone jealous? Yes, that’s what I did when we ^ finally broke up. By the time we broke up I had long accepted that the relationship wasn’t working and I was already doing a little fine, and I was well enough to do stuff to make her see that she was missing out. It’s high school pettiness so I’ve forgiven myself for it lol.

Would you ever get a boob job? I’ve definitely thought about it but idk. I’ll have to be rich enough to want to allot money for plastic surgery because it’s not very essential for me.

Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Because of her.

Who is the last person you flirted with? Just my girlfriend.

Whos the most racist person you know? Probably my mom. She has said some eyeroll-worthy stuff about the Chinese throughout the lockdown and I remember she initially had a negative reaction to my cousin Joelle when she introduced us to her black fiancé. I do know she’s a bit scared of me because I wouldn’t hesitate to call her out on her racism, so thankfully her statements have lessened over the years.

Do people ever compliment your eyes? Not really. It’s not a strong suit.

Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? Eh, just about small stuff like lying about not being hungry.

When is the last time you saw one of your ex's? Gabie was my ex at one point I guess? I last saw her March 7th.

Who was the last person you hung out with? Also Gabie. She was the last non-family member I saw before the whole world fell apart, basically lol.

Which one of your ex's do you hate the most?

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? No. I never understood why it’s a big deal for a lot of couples and I’d genuinely like to hear a good reason why. We don’t watch porn together but Gab and I would definitely watch some on our own time and it hasn’t affected our relationship or sex life at all.

Out of everyone you kissed, give me the initials of the best kisser? I’ve only kissed one person and she kisses amazingly, so GAD.

Do you regret a lot of things you did in the past? No. Just some small stuff here and there.

How many people have you kissed this year? One.

How many people has your best friend had sex with? One.

How long have you known the last person you kissed? I have technically known her since 2002, but we didn’t know each other and become friends until 2011.

Do you think one of your friends is a slut? No. One of my former acquaintances was and I’m so not saying that in a judgy way lmao she can fuck whoever she wants whenever she wants, but I don’t really talk to her anymore + she’s no longer single.

When is your birthday? April 21st.

[thenightling]

LGBTQ pre-2000s terminology context (for people writing period fiction or reading older literature)

Transexual vs. Transgender:

A few weeks ago someone tried to argue with me that a 1990 comic book use of the word Transexual was offensive. I tried to explain that in 1990 this was the correct term.  They replied was “It doesn’t matter if it was acceptable back then! It’s still offensive!”   But... That’s the point, it was not the offensive term in 1990.  It was the ONLY term in 1990.  

Okay, a little history.  The word “transgender” was only coined in the late 60s and when it was first coined it was by writer Virginia Prince.  Viriginia Prince was an early Trans rights activist and she coined it to distinguish between Trans people who do not have surgery (Transgender) vs. those that do (Transexual).  That was the original purpose. 

Today there is no such distinction, all Trans people identify as Transgender.  But the term was rarely used for the first two to three decades of it’s existence. In fact in the 70s into the 90s most Trans people didn’t even know the word transgender, period.    

In 1990 Transgender was NOT the correct term for most Trans people.  So it’s rather unfair to expect an author to magically know a term most Trans people didn’t even use yet.

Remember, the word meme actually dates back to the 70s.  No one expected its present day use and most people in the 80s and 90s would not have known the word.   Language is slow to change.   And in 1990 transgender simply wasn’t what it is today.   Most Trans people didn’t know the word and if they did it was for Virginia Prince’s use, not the modern use.    

_______________________________________________ 

Bisexual and Panasexual:

Panasexual is a very new term.  It was coined by Freud, yes, but when he used it, it was not a kind word.  It was used to mean sexual attraction to ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, including animals and objects.  The modern usage of open to sexual attraction to any person is still very new in the grand scheme of the English language.  I’m talking “less than twenty years” new. 

Bisexual originally did NOT mean ‘excluding Trans and non-binary” as some people have twisted it to mean.  “But… But it has ‘bi’ in it, which means two,  That’s binary.”    

Back in the 90s we had a joking catchphrase of “I’m bisexual.  That means I’ll try anything once.” It wasn’t designed to exclude.  The term was only intended to include.  Because until bisexual got widespread use there was just homosexual and straight.

The word bisexual is less than a century old.  It’s still relatively new.  In the 1970s when Bowie told a reporter he was bisexual he had to clarify that it does NOT mean having both male and female reproductive organs. (see the book “David Bowie in his own words” published in 1983).  

In the 1990s when Vincent Price’s daughter confronted Roddy McDowell about her father’s sexuality and said “Why didn’t you tell me my father was bisexual?” his response was “We didn’t know the term.  How can you deny something if you don’t know the word?”

I used to identify as bisexual.  Sometimes I still do.  Then it was panasexual.  Now I realize I’m probably demi Pan Romantic.  I identified as bisexual since the 90s and it’s only recently people have started to use it to mean “only binary attractions.”   And I’m so tired of having to explain the history of the word.  That’s the only real reason a lot of older bisexuals dropped the term, because we still remember when the word included everything.  And for many it still does.  We just get tired of explaining it.

__________________________________________ 

Dyke and it’s debatable reclamation:

Dyke was an offensive term for a lesbian.  So was Lesbo but Dyke was worse.   For many over the age of twenty there is still a sense of old wounds with the word dyke.  

In recent years there has been an effort to reclaim the term but unfortunately a lot of TERFs (Trans exclusionary feminists) also latched onto using dyke with pride.  Just look at what comes up right here on Tumblr if you search the terms.  Some of them even denounce asexuals as “not counting.” 

 So I, personally, have mixed feelings about the use of dyke.  I can never tell if I’m talking to a lesbian woman just reclaiming an old slur or someone announcing their hatred of Trans woman and ace.  And mingle that with the memory of teenagehood insults not yet dulled and I’m just still not comfortable with the term, much as I wish I was.

_______________________________________________________ 

Other old school LGBTQ terms:

Let me emphasize first these ARE the terms used WITHIN the LGBTQ community.  Not used against / at them, but WITHIN.   

Friends of Dorothy - Usually members of the armed forces who were in the closet. It meant you were gay.   The term’s origin had to do with Judy Garland being an early advocate of LGBTQ rights.  Judy played Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.    Somewhere over the Rainbow - Used as an early gay Anthem because of Judly Garland’s status in the LGBTQ community. This is also part of why the pride flag is a rainbow.

Bambi - Feminine lesbian that prefers to cuddle rather than have actual sex.  

Butch - Masculine, usually for lesbians. Beard - Wife of a gay man who is still in the closet and using his marriage status as part of his disguise as straight.

Bear - Masculine, hairy, and large gay man. Twink - Feminine and semi-androgynous gay man. Boston marriage (old) - Two women living together as husband and wife, dates back to the nineteenth century.  Formerly acceptable:  Fag hag - I never liked this one but it was a term for a straight woman who was friends with, or supportive of gay men.  You can hear its use in an episode of Will and Grace.  It was meant to be reclaimed but it still feels derogatory to me as if you want to shame the allies.  Formerly acceptable:  Transvestite  - No longer favorable.  This term was used for people who chose gender nonconforming fashions.   Usually a man who dressed as a woman but still identified as a man.  Cross-dresser was also once acceptable.  But both terms have fallen out of favor.   There was a time though that this was the correct term. Transvestite is not to be confused with Transexual (today Transgender).   It was specifically in regard to clothing. 

Queen - Can be used for flamboyant gay man but mostly short for drag queen and often used for someone who identifies as she / her while in feminine clothing and he / him when not (at average usually preferring the he / him pronouns and treating the queen part as a sometimes aspect of their identity).  

King - Reversal of Queen.  

Post will be edited as necessary.

[tristinai]

New Job, New Life

So, I have been living and working in Japan for the last few weeks. Currently enjoying the humid, hot weather (and already dreading the cold that will welcome me when I head back west in the winter). I’ve also met some interesting people at work. All the other teachers I have been training with are Americans and everything seemed great at first but I’ve been having issues with “that one gamer dude”.

Cue rant about dealing with an entitled biphobic, transphobic, misogynist straight guy.

Him and I hit it off online, in a purely platonic sense. On the recommendation of our company, all the new teachers exchanged emails and FB contact info so we could chat each other up in preparation for the big move. Out of all of them, I got along best with my coworker, henceforth referred to as “C”, because both of us are gamers and have been pretty active in the geek community.

It was going great until the week after we met and started working together. Then, he started getting a bit more pushy with me and began asking me about the types of guys I date. I had actually met a woman online, who lives here in Tokyo, the month before I arrived and her and I started dating right after I arrived. However, I wasn’t comfortable coming out at work until I had a sense of who I was working with (Japan has laws in place to protect lgbt employees, unlike Korea, plus 3 of my trainers are openly gay and two of them, I highly suspect, are in a relationship and have been for quite some time). So I kept trying to evade those questions, hint that I’m “not really looking for a guy”, and changed the topic whenever I could. But he got so pushy about it and started making these passive aggressive comments about me “not meeting the right guy yet” or something so I kind of got annoyed and told him I’d rather date women. 

After that, he started doing things like inviting only me to have drinks with him, even though there are 5 of us in training. So I said yes and invited the others to join us and when some of them agreed to come out, he backed out because he was “busy”. He later told me it’s because the other woman in our group ‘doesn’t like him’ so he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, even though she agreed to come out when I asked her knowing C would be there. I found the situation strange, still do, because whenever she comes out with us, he always finds an excuse to not go and claims it’s because of how she treats him, even though I’ve seen her be only polite to him (I suspect something happened between them because she is engaged to someone back in the states so if he did or said anything to get between that, I can see her being defensive. But it’s really him that’s making the fuss about her joining the group, not her making a fuss about him).

Anyway, things got worse between him and I when he found out I was dating someone. Not only has he openly talked about it with me at work when I asked him not to, nearly outing me (and probably did with a few of the bilingual coworkers), but he also makes these passive aggressive remarks about who I am dating. She’s not geeky at all, more of a cinephile (this is where our hobbies crossover) and she’s physically active, so she’s often going to hiking meetups, rock climbing, working out at the gym, etc. I had made the mistake of telling C that I have never dated another geek before, because I usually don’t get along with them (especially geek men because they always accuse me of being a “fake” gamer girl) so then he said it’s because I’m “shallow” and I was like ?????? I hadn’t said anything like “Geek men are fucking dicks so I don’t date them”, just “I’ve never dated any geeks. Many of my exes were more into sports” or something. I even pointed out that I’ve played on women’s soccer and baseball teams while living in Asia and that I usually workout/jog as a hobby. But anyway, sharing a hobby of physical fitness with someone I date apparently makes me “shallow”.

I let this slide. But then he also started telling me that I should “date other people” since her and I aren’t serious to “give someone else a chance”. And again, I was like ?????. I had also met her in the lobby at work the other day, after I thought all of my coworkers had left, and she hugged me. Then C stepped off the elevator and gave us “a look”. So I apologized the next day at work, letting him know I hadn’t meant to PDA in front of him (thinking on this now, I really shouldn’t have apologized but I have been suspecting he is jealous and I really don’t want him to think I am trying to rub my dating life in his face). But then he pissed me off because he started saying, “She’s cute but she seems too clingy” and then got a bit invasive and personal with his line of questioning so I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with the conversation.

It got even worse when at dinner last night, he started asking me about bisexuality because he feels that bisexuals “are usually confused”. So you can imagine that I was getting really offended at this point. I’ve dated only bisexual woman, and they usually put themselves on an 80/20 scale (80% attracted to women, 20% men or something along those lines) so then he asked me if I ever thought of asking them if they are confusing men they find physically attractive with romantic attraction and that’s why they think they’re bi. And then it built up into an argument when I told him that this is not the kind of question one should ask a bisexual. So he got angry with me.

C: But it’s not fair for you to tell me what I can and cannot say to someone about their sexuality.

Me: *screaming in my head THIS IS A QUEER PERSON TELLING YOU YOU’RE BEING BIPHOBIC PLEASE TAKE A HINT* You shouldn’t imply that a person is anything other than their label when you discuss their sexuality with them.

C: But then how will I know what they are if I don’t inquire about it?

Me: It’s not your place to start that conversation. It’s your job to listen if they choose to discuss that part of themselves with you.

C: But my gay friends back home didn’t mind me asking if they were gay when I thought they were.

Me: I don’t think you should EVER ask a queer person, ‘Are you _____?’ because it’s not really appropriate.

C: Now it just sounds like you’re looking to get offended.

Me: I’m not. I’m telling you that you’re making me uncomfortable!

And then I kind of snapped at that last person when I hadn’t meant to so the people at the table next to us began staring and I immediately quieted, got incredibly meek, and C started apologizing to them for me losing my cool. Yeah. And then proceeded to talk down to me about how I shouldn’t be so sensitive. Like, I literally spent the next 10 minutes stone faced as he ‘mansplained’ my sensitivity and made me feel like a fucking child for getting upset over a conversation I hadn’t wanted to get into the first place. And then I spent the rest of the night feeling like shit, like I was out of line, for someone trying to imply that people like me are either straight or homosexual.

I just...feel like garbage. And all through the week, he was doing something like that. When he tried asking me about sex (why, even????), I told him I fall into the demi spectrum so I don’t really go out there seeking it. He said it’s because “You haven’t found the right partner yet”. Ugh.

When he was making jokes about guys wearing dresses, I said there is nothing that says only women can wear dresses. He said, “Yeah, but men need to dress appropriately”. I told him people who are trans may disagree and he said I was being “too PC”.

I don’t even initiate conversations with him. He just goes out of his way to chat me up on controversial shit because I think he likes getting a rise out of me. Oh, and I am almost certain he is jealous that I’m not giving him a chance so he’s been obnoxious and keeps pestering me about my dating life and trying to convince me to date other people. Fucking irritating. He seems to think that because we share the same gaming hobbies, he’s entitled to pursue me. HE IS FUCKING NOT. And I made that clear weeks ago and he still won’t leave me the fuck alone about it.

...and now, HR has said they want me to move into the same building as C, on the other fucking side of Tokyo, because they changed my school contract. I have to be fucking neighbors with this asshole. I am so upset right now :(.

...okay, rant over. 

[bananonbinary]

i’ve been thinking lately that i might try out they/them pronouns and see how they feel. i have no idea what i’m doing, but if y’all will indulge me for a bit, i’d like to see how this goes.

this is just a bunch more rambling on the subject, feel free to disregard.

gender was so much easier to wrap my head around when i only thought of it as a binary...like i get trans people who cleanly identify as either male or female, and i think that’s maybe why i never really considered gender wrt me before? like i dont feel like a dude, so i must be a girl (which is basically the exact same thing i had with being ace). and then a while back its like. i still don’t feel like a dude, and i don’t hate my name or wearing girly clothes or anything, but i don’t super feel like a girl either? i just feel like me, and i don’t really understand what gender has to do with anything at all. so i felt cool with agender, but didn’t really mind she/her pronouns, since that’s what i was used to. but now, i’ve been thinking lately that maybe i really don’t like being a girl completely? the pronouns and clothes and stuff don’t bug me, but my body does. like, really really does. but i wouldn’t want a male body either, i’d want some hypothetical genderless body. :/ i dunno, i still don’t understand what gender is or what the difference is between gender and sex or any of that stuff, but i think i might tentatively go with demi-girl? or something? like maybe 20% a girl, 80%  neutrois. and even then like 60% of the time i just want to throw the whole thing out because gender is dumb and bewildering and i just don’t care. idk all this gender and sexuality stuff is so confusing, especially because i keep trying to define an absence. so i guess just, thanks for bearing with me while i figure this out.

[simptasia]

I'd love to hear some of your Kurt Wagner headcanons! Maybe some involving his teen years? If not, any age is fine!

ooh, fun! and unless i’m asked otherwise, i always do movieverse, so teen years for kurt would be circus years! great, i was already thinking about that!

raised by romani circus fortune teller margali szardos, along with his two older siblings (her natural children from her late husband. whom kurt is named after btw) stefan and jimaine. 5 and 2 years older respectively

the outfit he wears for his acrobatics act looks like kurt’s iconic black & red leotard from the comics (jimaine aka daytripper gets a similar outfit except its white in the black parts and pink in the red parts)

The Incredible Nightcrawler & The Incomparable Daytripper are a double act, doing like… flips and magic and shit

he’s walked into on other circus folk doing sexual things to each other, like, a lot of times. it keeps happening. its how kurt figured out sex is a thing and it seems to look fun and a bit weird but fun?

massive growth spurt between the age of 15 to 16, like wow

his hair is naturally curly (like wavy fluffy curls when long) but jimaine straightened it for him and added the blue highlights. (she does the same thing to her own hair, and thats where kurt got the idea and asked)

the smile is so blinding that we overlook how kurt naturally goes into a pose. that boy’s a natural model. he’s posed for pictures before! which makes sense. tho i think most of his posters are drawn, there had to be have been some photo taking. that and he’s natural performer!

he’s really good at make-up because the make-up artists at the circus taught him their skills

branching off that, kurt has great artistic skill (his scars and clothing choices are a sign of that) and sketches/doodles a lot

he’s kept a journal since he was a small boy. it acts as an artbook more than a traditional journal because kurt uses drawings more than words. most notable examples are the designs for his enochian marks (margali could never have predicted that kurt drawing swirls was actually a plan) and a lovely head & shoulders sketch of ororo after they meet

being ace (specially bi ace, possibly bi demi) he doesn’t experience sexual attraction and it takes him a bit to realise other people do (observational skills) and he doesn’t have negative feelings about sex or sexuality. in fact, i’d describe him as fascinated/curious at most. he’s realised its a thing most people want, and probably not with him

so specifically he’s a sex positive/indifferent asexual

margali taught him english but he also picked up a lot from american TV, of which he’s a great fan. american pop culture in general is so cool to him

his teleportation power didn’t kick in until relatively late, like… late teens (as a defensive reflex to being threatened by somebody with a gun)

very chubby as a baby, gawky as fuck as a teen

crawled out of his crib at night as a baby lots of times… so margali started calling him… you know where this is going

(i’ve heard worse origins for a superhero name)

his first kiss wasn’t very good because it was from jimaine, so he pulled back suddenly in shock/horror and made her lip bleed (LEMME EXPLAIN, yes, i could have abandoned that weird incest shit from the comics all together but i decided to do something else with it for DRAMA. by something else i mean: KURT IS NOT OKAY WITH THIS AT ALL. basically i’ve gone with: stefan doesn’t love him enough and jimaine loves him too much. i allow fucked up shit for the angst okay, im a writer)

take comfort in the fact that whatever sad shit i thrown into kurt’s backstory, that he ends up happy with the x-men. i mean, not always, he has manic depression, but i mean he’s better! also for the most part i actually do imagine kurt had a good childhood. in my version of things, margali is a really good and protective mother

there’s just some… massive bumps along the way. i can’t resist!

like this one: almost lost his virginity to the ringmaster’s wife (the logic being “i should be grateful for the chance”) but was instantly put off and horrified when he realised she wanted to sleep with him on the basis of  wanting to fuck a freak… (i imagined this story after the realisation that in the x-men universe there’d be people who’d fetishize mutants, so i imagined a scenario wherein kurt encounters somebody like that. like, im not being needlessly cruel here, there are reasons for things)

loves 80s pop & techno and has quite a talent for break dancing

pre-america his fave food is chocolate

upon BAMFing for the first time he was understandably scared and confused, then realising he’d gone away a distance, he was EXHILARATED. i imagine that one’s powers unlocking for the first time causes an unbelievable energy burst, too 

kurt loved being in the circus because he loves to make people (the audience) happy, especially the children

BIG SOPPY HEART EYED ROMANTIC BOY LOVES ROMANCE NOVELS AND HAS 4 OR 5 OF THEM CRUMPLED UNDER HIS BED

he has this very idealised version of love & romance in his head due to growing up on and loving black & white 30s/40s movies

oh by the way accidently killed his brother stefan out of self defense

can’t forget that little chestnut

well, that’s a good amount there. 

thank you! hope you enjoyed