#i guess it's less “forget” per se and more... idk. taking it means i have to face The Implications

[starfightrpilot]

man how the fuck do i keep forgetting to take my vyvanse, this shit rocks. i do in fact need to be taking this every day! like ok yeah you have to aim carefully with the hyperfocus laser but even then that's not a big deal because task switching isn't an issue, and initiating doesn't suck either!

i just spent an hour locked the fuck in deleting the 5000+ screenshots i don't need out of my photos app to kill time instead of just rotting in bed doomscrolling until business hours so i can do all the non-urgent life admin shit i've been putting off forever (including making a dentist's appointment which for me is A Big Deal) and then i might tidy or something (which are words that i don't ever say willingly), all before lunch. what the fuck

[leviskitten]

hello, could you make a jotaro alphabet nsfw hc, please?

𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕 ♡

Jotaro Kujo x reader(gn!)

Warnings: general NSFW themes,

A/n: hiya! Of course I can, hope you enjoy!

♡彡 A = Aftercare : What are they like after sex?

• Naturally, he’s gonna soften down after y’all finish. He’s aware of his size *ahem* and that he can be a little too harsh sometimes without realizing, so he’s gonna be making sure you’re alright and stuff, running you a warm bath and making you drink water cuz yknow, you gotta stay hydrated. (He might even carry you bridal style to the bathtub and wash your hair, but you didn’t hear that from me oop)

♡彡 B = Body : What’s their favorite body part of theirs? And yours?

• He probably doesn’t even have a favorite body part of neither his or your body, because he really couldn’t care less about that (he’s def a personality>looks kinda guy and you cannot tell me otherwise). However he secretly enjoys when you hold onto his arm, whether it is when you’re outside walking or when you need the ~support~ because he’s just pounding into you that hard. So I guess we’re gonna go with his arms for this one.

♡彡 C = Cum : Anything to do with cum basically.

• Homeboy has some thick white cum, I just know it. Another massive load fella, however he can (or prefers rather) only cum once.

Don’t get me wrong, he will make you cum multiple times if you want, but he’s fine with one thanks. Also, he probably isn’t that much into messy sloppy sex, so he cums either inside you or in your mouth, nowhere else (there are some exceptions to this but they’re oddly specific and rare so).

♡彡 D = Dirty Secret : Share a dirty secret of theirs.

• If he knows he’s gonna go on a long trip because of his job, he’s going to ~borrow some of your panties to masturbate with.

He usually borrows two, one that has your scent all over it, and another one to wrap around his cock as he jerks off. Sometimes (if you guys happen to be on a call), he might forget to pull it away before he cums, which ends up putting him in a bad mood because now he has to wash it and it won’t smell like you anymore :(

♡彡 E = Experience : How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?

• He’s not very experienced to be honest, I feel like he may had had some hookups here and there but they were probably kinda shitty and awkward. So you’re going to have to guide him a little bit the first couple of times, good thing he’s a quick learner lol.

♡彡 F = Favorite Position : Self explanatory

• Boring man probably doesn’t have one istg 🙄🙄

Jk he isn’t boring, but yeah he probably doesn’t have one, as long as he can get a good look of your face while you’re at it it’s fine with him.

♡彡 G = Goofy : How serious are they during the moment? Do they like to joke around?

• He literally looks like this 😐🧍like 98% of the time, do you really think he’s gonna start acting up now?????

If you laugh at something doing the deed with him he’s gonna look at you dead in the eyes until you stop laughing so he can continue, and it’s kinda scary ngl (or even more funny depending on the situation).

♡彡 H = Hair : How well groomed are they? Does the carpet matches the drapes?

• I kinda headcannon that he’s more on the thick hairy side, however he always trims himself down there, he doesn’t like to look unkept in some way (or at least that’s what he thinks idk). And yeah of course it matches, actually I feel like it’ll be curlier than his actual hair (but you’ll probably never get to see that lol).

♡彡 I = Intimacy : How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.

• His love language is acts of service, that’s literally canon. So he probably won’t be too romantic or intimate per se, but he will definitely make sure you’re having the time of you life when you’re with him. He might even care more about getting you off rather than himself.

♡彡 J = Jack off : Masturbation headcannon.

• I feel like he probably didn’t really masturbate that often until you guys got together. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy the sex, he does, a lot. Actually, I feel like his sex drive might have increased after the first couple of rounds of actually enjoyable sex with you. However, he probably has to go on trips a lot because of his job, and that’s where he finds himself missing you in many ways, including in bed.

♡彡 K = Kink : One or more of their kink.

• Surprisingly enough, he isn’t that kinky, but there are a couple of things that he does enjoy, like:

— praise (both ways), scratching and biting (receiving), edging (both ways), and he probably has a mild size and breeding kink. Oh, and he also kinda likes when you suck on his fingers.

♡彡 L = Location : Favorite place to do it.

• The bedroom. Easy, comfortable and private, pretty much perfect in his opinion.

♡彡 M = Motivation : What turns them on/keep them going?

• Your praise, and when he can tell that you’re enjoying yourself.

He has sub tendencies (*ahem* might actually sub if asked nicely) so tell him that he’s doing so well or that he’s making you feel so good and he might cum right there and then.

♡彡 N = No : Something that they wouldn’t do/turn off’s

• Anything public, extreme degradation and extreme impact play or something like that.

I don’t think I really have to go in depth as in to why not, but let’s just say that he’s a reserved guy who’s very aware of his size and strength and how mean he can get if he wants to.

♡彡 O = Oral : Preference on giving/receiving, skill, etc.

• Being completely honest, he might prefer receiving a little more, but he also loves getting you off multiple times only with his mouth so...

He wasn’t very skilled tbh (he was pretty bad actually let’s be real here), but with some practice and your guidance he got pretty damn good ngl. You trained him well >:)

♡彡 P = Pace : Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc

• Fast and rough by nature baby.

However he will slow down if asked, and during the first few times.

♡彡 Q = Quickie : Their opinion on quickies, how often, etc.

• Not the biggest fan really, but still enjoys a casual quick blowjob/handjob every once in a while.

♡彡 R = Risk : Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? Etc.

• If you happen to have a kink that he either never heard about before, or didn’t really pay attention to, than he might be more open to experiment it with you and indulge you in it. However if they’re way too extreme he might hesitate and hold back a bit. He enjoys a couple of risks, as long as it’s between his and your boundaries.

♡彡 S = Stamina : How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?

• Are you kidding he can almost literally go on forever if you wanted to. He lasts pretty long actually, he has good self control after all ;)

♡彡 T = Toys : Do they own toys? Do they use them? On themselves or his partner?

• Probably wouldn’t really think about buying some unless you bring it up. You guys probably own a couple of basics (bullet vibrators and maybe a dildo), so he can use them on you. Wouldn’t mind if you use them on him when he subs tho.

♡彡 U = Unfair : How much do they like to tease?

• He doesn’t tease often because it’s not really his thing, HOWEVER, when he does tease... let’s just say that you’re in for a ride.

His way of teasing it’s almost torture tbh, and it’s mainly touches, or some warning of what he’ll do to you if you’re the one teasing too much. He mainly does it to stop you from teasing him, but this doesn’t mean that you won’t feel a hand going up your thighs randomly every once in a while.

♡彡 V = Volume : How loud are they? What sounds do they make? Etc.

• He isn’t really that loud, and he doesn’t make much sound sadly. It’s mainly deep grunts and gasps, might moan when he cums after a while.

♡彡 W = Wild card : A random headcannon for the character.

• He only subs when he’s feeling particularly vulnerable, and subconsciously needs for someone to take care of him. Or if he knows that that’s what you like and he wants to make you happy lol.

♡彡 X = X-Ray : Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes

• He’s a proud member of the thicc cock gang and you cannot tell me otherwise.

No but fr, he’s t h i c k, barely above average length, but thick. I feel like it might be a little darker than the rest of his skin, and the tip gets pretty red easily. Pretty veiny too, and he’s uncut.

♡彡 Y = Yearning : How high it their sex drive?

• It wasn’t too high before, but it kinda is now. He kinda became addicted to how you feel around him ngl, and also he likes how it helps him relax~

♡彡 Z = Zzz : How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards.

• He gets less tense after it for sure, but he doesn’t really get sleepy. He can do it and than carry on with his day (after making sure you’re alright of course) if needed, or he can also let you cuddle against him and get some rest if he wanted to.

[nattikay]

So I saw this post while browsing toa tags the other day. While I don’t think being obsessed with the school mascot automatically makes Toby a furry (though it is funny to joke about lol) since “being a furry” actually just means “being a fan of anthropomorphic animals” and doesn’t necessarily require any form of costuming or interest in such, it did get me thinking, hmmm...if he was a furry, what would his fursona be? 🤔 And from there I started wondering what Jim’s and Claire’s would be as well because y not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

BUT WAIT, I hear you say--haven’t you already drawn the trio as werewolves and wolfwalkers etc.? Wouldn’t those be their fursonas??

Well yes....but actually no.

I guess it’s a little hard to explain, but there’s a nuance between “[person] but as an animal” and a proper “fursona”. While a fursona is an animal character used to represent its person, it doesn’t have to physically resemble them at all as you would expect [person]-but-as-[animal] to. For example, if you were to design me but as a cat, you’d probably give it light brown fur and green eyes like I have irl. But my fursona, unlike my human self, actually has blue fur and purple eyes. You can give your fursona matching physical traits to your own if you want to, and some people do, but most use only a pinch of their irl appearance, if any at all.

The choices people make when designing their fursonas vary wildly from “it looks like me irl” to “it looks like who I want to be”  to “I just really like this color scheme” to “this particular color/marking holds deep personal meaning to me” to “this particular pattern represents a particular defining moment in my life” to “idk it looks cool and i vibe with it” etc. etc. etc. Everyone has different reasons of varying depth for the decisions they make in designing their fursona.

Therefore, to design a fursona for Toby etc., it’s less a question of “what would this character look like as [insert species here]?” and more of “how would this character choose to present himself with his own [animal] character?”

And that’s a much trickier game than just transferring a character aesthetic to a new species. ^^; We have to kinda dive into the characters and makes some guesses about how they, if given infinite creative freedom to design an animal avatar with no rules or limits, would choose to present themselves.

So all that said, here’s what I came up with:

Starting with Toby because he’s the one who inspired the post. I think Toby might choose a wolfdog fursona. A lot of people who choose wolves as fursonas consider themselves to be overwhelmingly loyal to their friends, a trait that fits Toby very well. However, while Toby likes to be “cool”, I don’t think he really thinks of himself as much of an “alpha” type--he’s more of a sidekick, and he knows that, and he’s ok with that. He’s the wingman. So what better way to incorporate that than to add dog into the mix? Man’s best friend=Jim’s best friend. Sociable, humorous, and unwaveringly loyal. Wolfdog it is!

With the species decided, we can move on to the design itself.

I can’t imagine any form of Toby in anything other than warm colors. This is extra emphasized by the flamelike patterns on his legs and tail, which both speaks to his desire to be totally awesome-sauce as well as acts as an allusion to his flaming warhammer. It’s fairly common (not universal, but common) for people to give their fursonas a more “ideal” physique than the person actually has as a sort of way to live by proxy physical goals or fantasies they’ve been unable to attain irl for whatever reason. Given that we’ve seen Toby struggle with fitness from time to time, it wouldn’t shock me to see him take this route. His wolfdog self is still relatively short and stocky, but it’s all muscle, babey. 

This fursona is strong, fun, boisterous, and generally just kicks butt. Concentrated awesomesauce flows through his veins. Just don't mess with his friends, or you’ll feel the flames!

.

Moving on to Jim. Jim was the hardest to nail down, and most definitely the hardest to keep my personal biases out of oof. Which I may have failed to do anways because yes, ok, I made my favorite character a blue feline, sue me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  But hear me out first!

For Jim I ultimately settling on a cheetah/lion hybrid.

Cheetahs, in a way, are sort of the underdogs (er...cats?) of the feline world--at least, in their local ecosystems. They are built wholly for speed, not strength--and as such, just about every other large predator in their environment has them beat when it comes to raw strength. Remind you of a certain Trollhunter? plus the long lanky legs. don’t forget those lol

However, because of this disadvantage, cheetahs...usually surrender. They know it’s not worth it to defend their kill from larger, stronger opponents, so they’ll give it up and just catch something else. This aspect doesn’t quite fit our protective, selfless protagonist all too eager to risk everything to save his loved ones--so a pure cheetah may not be the right choice.

So what animal is brave and protective? That’s where the lion part comes in, of course!

Why not just make him a pure lion? Well, a little similar to making Toby a wolfdog instead of a pure wolf. A straight-up lion feels a little too “chad” for our sweet Jimbo. Too much of a jock. 

Jim has the humble underdog nature of a cheetah as well as the bravery and fierce protective drive of a lion. Cheelion? Leetah? idk, but let’s design it!

Like Toby and warm colors, I don’t think I can possibly associate Jim with any color but blue. While it’s never directly stated, given that we’ve never really seen him wear any other color (with the exception of the Eclipse armor), I think it’s pretty safe to assume that that’s his favorite. Blue sweater, blue jeans, blue shoes, even his backpack and bedsheets are blue. So naturally, his fursona would be predominantly blue as well! Plus some yellowish accents to (somewhat) match the natural colors of his chosen species(s).

I imagine he originally designed the character without horns, but then added them after becoming the Trollhunter, since it became such a major and impactful aspect of his life.

His lion’s mane also continues down his back in imitation of the “mantle” found on baby cheetahs. This youthful feature could subtly represent the fact that he’s been forced to grow up too fast and take on so much responsibility so young--so his fursona can still be young and carefree as long as he likes even while his real self struggles with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

This fursona is relaxed, calm, and confident. He’s not just cool--he’s crispy!

.

Lastly but not leastly, we have Claire. Out of the three, I think Claire was actually the easiest to choose--or at least, I had the clearest idea of what I thought she might go for.

Claire is a bit of an interesting duck, because while she’s shown to be fairly popular at school, she’s definitely far from the stereotype of The Popular Girl™. Yes she’s smart and pretty, but she’s also a little spunky or even a bit quirky--she’s a theatre kid, she’s a huge fan of hard rock band Papa Skull, and while I wouldn’t quite call her “rebellious” per se, she’s certainly willing to bend some rules if she feels the situation calls for it (not telling her parents that she was going to the concert with Steve, literally sneaking into Jim’s basement to try to find out what was up with him, etc).

That said, I think Claire might go for a hyena fursona--something a little out of the box, but not totally out of left field. (she also shows a slight Gurl Power™ streak here and there “the staff was not meant to be wielded by man--” “I am not a man!!!”) and if you know anything about hyenas...well, yeah lol)

I think Claire would lean into her punk-rock “rebellious” side with her fursona design. This character is completely free of the pressure of being the councilwoman’s daughter and having to maintain her mother’s public reputation, and thus allows Claire to express a less restrained side of herself. She has a bold semi-edgy color scheme with bright accents (and some earrings to match her person’s hair clips) while still remaining feminine and (her own brand of) fashionable. 

This fursona is spunky and sassy; she’s spicy and sweet all rolled up into one. She knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to chase it down. She lives her own life and she’s dang proud of it.

.

....sooooo yeah there’s my take on what Toby’s, Jim’s, and Claire’s fursonas could hypothetically be. And I guess since this post was inspired by a joke about Toby’s infatuation with the school mascot, here’s just some quick thoughts on how they might approach fursuiting to end us off:

Jim I don’t see as much of a suiter. He might try it once or twice if given the opportunity, but at the end of the day it’s not really his cup of tea--he’d rather act as the “handler” for his friends, if anything.

Toby and Claire, on the other hand, I could definitely see as suiters. In fact, with her interest in acting, Claire would probably particularly enjoy it--she’d be one of those suiters who really gets into character, absolutely refuses to break the magic publicly (outside of any actual medical emergency), and popular at cons because she just performs so well. 

Toby, meanwhile, would be the more chill type--uses his normal voice in-suit, isn’t really too stressed about “breaking the magic”, just kinda hanging around like he would normally except “look I’m a talking dog, cool right?”. 

also while I was typing this it occurred to be that since Eli is canonically a cosplayer then he could be a fursuiter as well; in his case i imagine he actually made his own suit it’s a protogen and it’s full of little LEDs and other electric gadgets, it’s not the prettiest thing ever as sewing is not his forte but boy did he try!! good for him. good for him

[symptoms-syndrome]

18: Share a hot take about the tumblr community :p

Oh gosh just one? :P

I guess I’ll try to share one I haven’t talked about before (I think)?

I think that there is so, so, so much emphasis on “you are not faking” in the online DID community, that it can put undue pressure on people who may discover that DID/OSDD is not the correct diagnosis for them. ESPECIALLY when that sort of language is applied towards people who are just figuring themselves out, and/or are p young.

If someone shares their experiences and asks if people think it could be DID/OSDD, a lot of the time the comments will say yes! Which...isn’t wrong, per se, because a lot of things COULD be DID. But most of those things could also be other things. It’s not like DID is a whole separate world that doesn’t overlap with other things (which is another Hot Take I could elaborate on, because I feel like people forget that DID is literally also a mental illness and not inherently in some other category) and is always 100% clear. There’s a reason it’s really hard to diagnose/get diagnosed!

This doesn’t mean that I think that no one who asks those sorts of things has DID, either! It’s wayyy more complicated. And the binary of experiences are not “you have DID” or “you are faking DID.”

I think better than framing things in a way that is focused on diagnosis (or lack thereof,) it’s better if folks responded with some sort of. Coping-focused answer. Like, it could be DID! What would be the next step if it was? Or if it wasn’t? Coping with the symptoms that brought the question up in the first place.

It’s not like my therapy changed radically as soon as I was diagnosed. Regardless of where X symptom is coming from, a lot of the time they’re treated sort of the same way.

I think the way that people act can sort of create this...one-way street. Someone will bring up that they might have DID, the response will be “of course you do, you would know if you were faking!” and then they’ll have the label of “DID” and any sort of sway away from that, either by their own thinking or by a professional, means they’re faking, but they’d KNOW if they were faking, and since they know they’re not faking it HAS to be DID, and-

It’s a cycle. Which just leads to more denial and despair over denial. As opposed to “this could be DID, so what if it is?” which obviously doesn’t solve every and any problem, but can maybe redirect thinking away from diagnoses and more towards symptom management. It definitely helps my denial to think that way, and I’m diagnosed professionally. Skipping the “is this DID” step to get to the “what can I do about the experiences I am having/way I am feeling” I feel would be a lot healthier and make the DID community less? IDK insular? Because I’m sure there are people who thought they had DID/professionals thought they had DID and didn’t, and I think hearing those stories would help ease a lot of the fear people have about being wrong. I think a lot of that fear comes from a valid place, and I think a lot of it is sort of like. “If I don’t have DID what will happen to the friendships I’ve made in the DID community” and like. The reality is that it’s p likely you’ll be able to keep them if they’re like. Reasonable ppl. Mistakes happen and it’s okay to be wrong.

[normal-thoughts-official]

ok idk if u like harry potter (either way fuck jkr) but have u thought about sh characters and hp houses? for magnus i’m torn between hufflepuff and ravenclaw, alec hufflepuff ?? maybe?? and idk for anyone else

its a weird thing because i've always hated hp, even when i was a kid, but i'm kinda interested in discussing the whole houses thing? possibly because the choice between traits is so fucking random and absurd like idk it makes for funny character analysis. so in short let's go

but also, i'll warn u that my takes on this are usually considered kinda spicy. mostly because other ppl r wrong and interpret the characters terribly i go by the canon that the house ur sorted into represents what you value the most, not necessarily what you are (which is why hermione is gryffindor and not ravenclaw for example, and if i'm not mistaken so's neville? idk idc her worldbuilding is bad) so yeah

magnus is definitely hufflepuff for me, no argument about that. like yes he is very smart but i don't think that he values knowledge/intelligence above all else. wisdom maybe, but even then, magnus' character core is and has always been kindness and loyalty. he values kindness and mutual support and community and equality. it's indisputable that he's hufflepuff for me, not only in values but in personality and actions

i like slytherin alec, first because it fits his character arc. like big racist family who loves fascism and is very traditional sounds like slytherin, and at a very young age he'd be their golden boy tbh [EDIT: ive already gotten anon hate over this so please read these posts before freaking out over this part please and thank you] so like, makes sense. but even later alec i think fits slytherin, although in a different way. family above all else, tradition, and ambition? sounds like him. he's a political shark, he's very traditional, and he's loyal as fuck to his family. i'm not against hufflepuff alec per se but i wouldnt say, even by the end of the series, that alec values kindness/community/equality above all else, tbh

raphael is hufflepuff. again, loyalty, community, kindness. i could maybe kiiiiiindaaaaa see why ppl think he fits slytherin aesthetics with his power suits and shit but also raphael is the least ambitious person in like, this entire show lmao his happy ending is literally to become a priest (like i hate the whole mundane thing but u cant argue that that's an ambitious man lol). throughout the show his whole motivation was always protecting his people and his family, and he was shown to be kind and caring even to shadowhunters. and yes okay there was the heidi plotline but like a- it made no fucking sense anyway (both for his character and just plot-wise, like, she wasn't a daylighter, why would he be after her and not simon, what the fuck) so i simply ignore it, and b- even then it doesn't define him or his values. if ppl can see hufflepuff alec when he handed meliorn over to be tortured for basically no reason and was never shown to be particularly caring beyond the people closest to him, i can say hufflepuff raphael when he continuously extended his hand to people who literally betrayed, used and tortured him

maia is hufflepuff and look i know that this sounds like "all my faves are hufflepuffs" but really tho. endlessly loyal to her pack, wants to build a family, her whole thing was always about making the downworld better and making sure her family was okay, i don't see how community and equality aren't defining values for her. "oh muh muh muh she was willing to kill ppl" there was a war going on buddy. it doesn't mean that maia isn't kind and caring. also, again, she is fierce on her ideals, which happen to be family, equality, and community (both as in the pack and the downworld as a whole, see how hard she tried to mend vamp/wolf relationships). she's a hufflepuff

meliorn is a hard one. i think gryffindor or slytherin? tbh i don't think any of the houses really super fits them because again jk's worldbuilding makes no sense like the four personality traits are kind, smart, brave, and racist there are no other ones you sjw snowflake. and okay i know that i just called slytherin the racist house but that was a joke and i can see slytherin meliorn because loyalty and tradition. not really ambitious but not not ambitious either. tbh i could make points for meliorn in all houses, i think wisdom is definitely something they seek and care about, as is bravery (they're literally a knight), as is community, as is tradition. but also i could see them being like "hey sorting hat put me in slytherin i'm a 'mudblood' they're gonna be super pissed". and going there just to be defiant. but no actually i changed my mind completely, they're ravenclaw. i think wisdom and temperance are what they seek the most, because they want to be a good leader/asset for their people. which kinda circles back to hufflepuff but still.... wisdom. i think it suits them

simon is another hard one for opposite reasons like i don't think he truly fits any of the houses? like meliorn fits them all simon fits none. i know ppl always go with hufflepuff simon cuz they think hufflepuff is the dork house and simon is an anxious bean but fuck that noise, hufflepuff isn't the dork house, it's the house for those who believe in mutual aid and support and equality and that's literally canon, hufflepuff existed because it was the only hogwarts founder who believed that everyone had equal right to education. hufflepuff is a fierce house of sjws and people who want to change the world for the better and YES i am aware that for someone who thinks harry potter sucks i sure have strong opinions about it. but that's the thing like there are so many interesting places jk rowling could've gone and instead she chose to write the most superficial shit ever. anyway my point is that hufflepuff is not the dork house so i'm not gonna sort simon there just because he's a dork. but anyway i wouldnt say that he particularly values any of the house's traits. maybe ravenclaw for creativity? or gryffindor because clary is there and he's like "please sorting hat do me a solid" lol

which okay i guess leads me to clary. definitely gryffindor. bravery with a side of recklessness is definitely her thing. she is fierce and she is proud of it. no argument about that

j@ce is also gryffindor in the most annoying obnoxious way. he's just like man i sure like violence watch me prove how macho i am and the sorting hat is like oh no it's one of those gryffindors

izzy.... i can see gryffindor cuz again bravery and just again fits her character arc as she would go there specifically as a fuck you to the lightwood's traditional slytherin shit. but really tho, ravenclaw. she values knowledge, she is hungry for it, she wants to see the world and learn and invent and create you know?? so like yeah ravenclaw

cat.... either ravenclaw or hufflepuff? she just cares about people as a whole but also about wisdom and knowledge so could go either way imo

ragnor... man i really have no idea for ragnor. again aesthetic fits slytherin but is he actually proud, ambitious, cunning? i don't think so. fucking ravenclaw maybe? just like "yes i value knowledge very much now put me in the nerd house where people will leave me alone" lol. ok tho ravenclaw it is

madzie... gryffindor? idk she seems like she would want to have adventure. it's so hard to do this for sh minor characters when their personality was basically based on the shape of the writer's poop that day tbh

camille is slytherin because duh and if we really wanna do a h*gwarts au for some reason, it adds some angsty juices as magnus once again falls in love with a slytherin and doesn't know how to open up and trust (once he meets alec, i mean)

luke is ravenclaw methinks. i guess could have been slytherin because character arc as shadowhunter but like... he's just a wise and caring figure. i could see hufflepuff but i think his thing is less equality/community and more family, but post-sh luke doesn't exactly fit "proud, ambitious, cunning" either. so yeah methinks ravenclaw. same for alaric i guess

who else exists lmao. i feel like i'm forgetting somebody but idk who so i guess i'll reblog or edit if i think of someone elsIT WAS DOT okay so i think either hufflepuff or ravenclaw. kinda hard because her whole personality was "cares about clary" so idk but like loyalty and care seem like character traits that suit her? also she was knee deep in trauma and still cared about helping magnus so... yeah hufflepuff

[lesbiancarat]

Lol its fine!! Reply whenever you can ^_^

But ahh true, true. Idk why I thought it would be a hint to the music lol but a sort og an evolution of the concept so to speak. Either way, am excited for the comeback because fresh svt is always iconic. Oohhh the concept photos are all pretty and idk which one to pick jfkshfjsjd. Like they are all very on brand for them but also unique and pretty. Very artsy haha.

Ahh yes, rabbitnwas forever iconic and it was what helped other places like discord to do similar things! But ah understandable!! Both seventeen and nct (when I was getting into kpop more) always felt like BIG well known groups due to their fandoms being so big at least to me. Especially when people always recommended their songs i just assumed they have been around for a while like bts when I joined only to realize they are still rookies. Monster rookies indeed!! The fact so many people love them is enough for me to say they are amazing, well respected and loved by many. Those comments annoy me, especially when people downplay their hard work by claiming 'bighit helped them get more famous' like what!? Yes bighit did help with getting more western attention per se but like downplaying as if they haven't achieved anything at all is confusing to me. Claiming how streaming fans aren't doing s good job to which im like one, mass streaming isn't healthy and two, fans who do try their best and we do beat records of our own. Seventeen isn't unpopular, just because they aren't you know who level doesn't mean they aren't big like do people forget what unpopular means?

Anywhoo, a day late but happy late birthday to our tiger King. May he forever rule the tiger land and take over the world with his tiger agenda lol.

yes! one side fits my aesthetic the best but all the concept photos were nice ^^

and yeah it is annoying but at the same time those people are so detached from reality that I'm just sort of like whatever djflgj like 'it's obvious to anyone who knows what they're talking about you're wrong so I'm not going to bother arguing w you' is sort of my mindset when i see those comments dhfkj bc if i don't think of it that way then i get angry easily. the way i see it bh/hybe definitely is helping SVT with western promotions but like. i don't think SVT/pledis would have been incapable of expanding into the western market on their own if they wanted to. but it's a given that it will be easier and faster with hybe bc they have connections and a reputation in the western market already established. honestly I'd guess that was one of pledis's main incentives for agreeing to the acquisition. but at the same time hybe and western media wouldn't give SVT the time of day if they truly were the flops some ppl try to claim they are lol

and yeah agreed, streaming culture can be super unhealthy. it's one thing to do it if you want to but at the same time don't be losing sleep over it or prioritizing it over your real life responsibilities. and definitely don't guilt trip and say a bunch of toxic things to others to get them to stream... i feel like it would be a lot healthier if fanbases just stuck to simply explaining, hey this is what streaming is and why it can be important (for like music shows etc) and here's how to do it properly if you choose to stream, and then just let people decide for themselves. there would still be people more than willing to do it, and without the guilt tripping maybe even more people would just find it enjoyable. but hey, what do i know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i also think most kpop stans underestimate how many views from from casual listeners and fans vs hardcore fans/streamers. like streaming does make a difference, but not 100M views difference like some people try to act like it does. tbh there are a lot of groups that have a smaller core fanbase than SVT but get hundreds of millions of views bc they have a lot of casual listeners. you can even see it internally too: don't wanna cry is SVTs most viewed MV by a mile, it's the only one to pass 100M views, let alone 200M. and it has nothing to do w carats streaming dwc extra hard, it's bc it's arguably SVTs most well known song outside of the fandom. i see reactors all the time who react to it and say "oh i know this song! i had no idea it was by seventeen" and you can look at the comments section and see a bunch of people saying the song has a fandom of its own/even if you're not a carat you have to know this song

kpop stans also put too much emphasis on views imo and also equate views to popularity, which on the surface might make sense but isn't always the case. actually in terms of profit, groups/companies make the vast majority of their money off of album, merch, and ticket sales than they do off of views. but those are all things that are a lot harder to "sell" than views, because they actually cost money for the consumer, while you can watch an MV for free. hence why it makes sense that there are a lot of groups with hundreds of millions of views that get relatively low album sales. it's easy to convince casual fans and and listeners to watch an MV than to get them to buy something

and I'm not trying to diss other groups at all or try to say groups that consistently get 200M+ views are flops, they're absolutely not. I'm just trying to point out that kpop stans completely underestimate the amount of casual listeners that exist

but this is why SVT is honestly such a fascinating case. their MV views are nothing to write home about, and yet they're the second highest selling k-act at the moment and are in the top 10 if not top 5 highest selling k-acts of all time, their album sales are literally insane. a lot of people chalk it up to carats being bad streamers but like i said before, streaming isn't going to make a difference of hundreds of millions of views. this indicates to me that seventeen have a bigger core fanbase (ie people who call themselves carats and actually keep track of seventeens activities) but a smaller audience of casual listeners compare to other kpop groups. and i think a lot of people, carats, and non carats alike, pick up on this in some way or another but don't realize that's what's going on and it manifests in kind of weird ways sometimes

and this fact isn't something that bothers me, i actually think it's super important more than anything for SVT to have a strong core fanbase if what they're shooting for is longevity. but i do find it strange bc as i said, groups that do better with digitals than physical sales make total sense from a consumer standpoint!! so how did SVT end up like this!! it's so interesting for me to think about. i think i would have a better idea of why this is if i had been around since debut but alas

the only thing i can come up with is that SVT is better at retaining fans or like... getting fans invested in the group so people who become carats are less likely to be multistans? bc multistans play a huge part in both being and attracting casual listeners. they're the ones making video compilations and edits and content that includes multiple kpop groups, which is how a lot of non-fans get interested in other groups. whereas if someone is just a carat and making content for SVT the people most likely to watch that content is ppl who are already carats. i know im not the only one that's noticed it's kind of rare for SVT to be included in multistan edits and videos. which i don't blame anyone for, i think most of those people genuinely just don't stan SVT and they shouldn't be expected to include a group they don't know we'll or at all. at the end of the day ppl can make what they like. but it's interesting to observe as a general trend. but idk SVT potentially having a lower percentage of multistans still isn't really an explanation for why SVT doesn't have as many casual listeners bc those things kind of just go hand in hand. like either one could be the cause of the other one if that makes sense

ANYWAY sorry for the long reply but as i said the ratio of SVTs core fanbase vs casual listeners is a topic i find endlessly fascinating dhfmfj

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[solasan]

otp tag.

tagged by @masonsfreckles​​ and @impossible-rat-babies​​ and like definitely also someone else but my activity is super clogged up so i cant find who I’m Sorry 🥺 but thank u remus and owen mwah tagging: @denerims​​ @arlathen​​ @lvllns​​ @trvelyans​​ @lavellane​​ @chuckhansen​​ @rosebarsoap​​​ @cheydinhaal​​ @darksprawn​​ @deepspeech​​ @yennefre​​ and anyone else who wants to do it tbh

DISAGREEMENTS.

who is more likely to raise their voice?

i mean both, probably? they’re both very passionate people

who threatens to leave but never actually does?

i’ll hesitantly say june but i dont think they’d reach that point

who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither lmao

who trashes the house?

in day-to-day life, june; she’s very messy. in fights? neither bcos that’s messed up. the Most that’ll happen is adam cracking a piece of furniture in his fist by accident

do either of them get physical?

uhhh they’ll spar from time to time, but outside of that, never

how often do they argue/disagree?

in the beginning?? all the fucking time. every day. they butt heads like they were made to do it. further in, they argue much less, especially once june’s proved adam’s whole “humans are weak!!!” thing wrong

who is the first to apologize?

adam gets bullied into it by nate sometimes. june won’t apologise unless she’s absolutely certain she’s in the wrong, but it does happen. so i guess it depends on the argument

SEX.

who is on top? who is on bottom?

i hate applying the top/bottom thing to m/f ships but adam’s A Top i guess. june is 100% a bottom. but when it comes to actual positioning they’ll change; adam likes missionary a lot, but june likes sitting in his lap and riding him, so

any kinks?

adam is lowkey lowkey very lowkey into orgasm control/denial im calling it. he just likes taking control, but not in an explicit bdsm sense??? june’s into dirty talk and does have a praise kink. she has to coax adam into talking in the beginning but when he gets into the swing of things he loves it

june used to be into getting tied up, but the whole murphy situation kinda fucked that for her

who has the strangest desires?

june probably wins this just purely based on the fact that she wants adam to bite her lmao. he would find that strange. but he would also be into it so

who’s dominant in bed?

adam !!! again not in the traditional like bdsm dominant sense but he takes charge of things

is head ever in the equation?

uhhh, yeah ??? all the time

if so, who is better at performing it?

look. june is very good. she is. but adam has 900 years on her and also more enthusiasm / touch starvation / desperation. adam is a pussy eating KING

ever had sex in public?

the most public they’ve gotten is fucking in the tech lab at the warehouse, that’s it

who moans the most?

both moan, but june’s louder. she’s freer ??? with it ??? but adam grunts and gasps and pants a lot, and when he’s abt to come he’ll groan out her name or a french curse so

who leaves the most marks?

june’s the one that goes out of her way to make marks, just bcos shes a lil sad they fade so quickly. adam leaves the most just bcos june doesn’t heal in the same way

who is the more experienced of the two?

adam might be 900 years old but we all know he’s not had many relationships. june’s more experienced bcos she has one-night stands in college before her and bobby got together

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

im so sorry but if u look at adam du mortain and think that he doesn’t make love 99% of the time, ur wrong. but sometimes they do get super passionate / desperate for each other, and then they’ll fuck

how long do they usually last?

in the beginning adam lasts like 2 seconds, no joke. that man sees even a hint of june’s coochie and he busts a nut. but further in he can last longer. unless june is being a shit and deliberately trying to get him to come, which she does do

rough or soft?

soft for the most part. if it ever is rough it’s like..... more bcos it’s intense, passionate, less bcos either of them is trying to make it rough. june has some sexual trauma too so really rough sex, like w choking for example, is out of the question (not that i think adam is into choking anyway)

is protection used?

it should be, and when they remember to they do use it. but also they forget a lot shdkshdkd does june look like the type of person to get pregnant on purpose??

does it ever get boring?

nah they keep it fresh. plus they love each other so much it’s just always so good to have each other ???? like after So Long Pining it’s just good idk bro shdjsjdk

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

idk probably the tech lab like i said above ??? i dont think they fuck in many weird places — not bcos i dont think june would be into it, but more bcos i figure if they ever start getting freaky adam gets them into a bed / somewhere private STAT

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children / do they have children?

yeah they vaguely want them in the future i guess. adam thinks abt june having his baby and has to lie down he 🥺 so hard

if so, how many children do they want/have?

their first kid — emma — is an accident born like a year after they get married, and then oliver comes along a year after that because june always said she didn’t want only one kid. she remembered how lonely she was as a kid :(((

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

both of them !!! adam is touch-starved and june is starved for affection !!! they cuddle all the time

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

june 100% no question. WHORE. adam is so done with her but he does always drag her off somewhere to Ravish her so rly who’s winning here

who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

shdkshdkskd both of them. june slightly more so tho

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

uhhh i dont think it’s rly a matter of one getting uncomfortable, bcos they do love it. probably it’s just as long as they can hold out before 1) june has to pee, or 2) adam resolves to be productive

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

adam would never admit it but he loves watching movies with june purely bcos she gets so cuddly and ALSO she gets so into them. she’s the type of person to yell at the screen and ask questions all the time. sometimes they’ll compete to see who can work out the plot / twist / mystery of a film first 

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

in bed !!!!! adam loves having her whole body pressed up against him, all small and soft and smelling like june, and june loves how he tucks her into his chest and makes her feel so safe and warm

SLEEPING.

who snores?

ahskhkdja june !!!

if both do, who snores the loudest?

adam doesn’t snore so june. but she doesn’t do it that loudly

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed !!!! it’s adam’s way of making sure june does actually go to bed, for one, but also he doesn’t like to sleep without her

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

cozy up together !!!!! adam’ll kiss her hair and tuck her head under his chin, and june’ll wrap her arms around his torso and kiss the hollow of his throat

what do they wear to bed?

june wears raggedy old band tees or oversized hoodies, boxer shorts, lots of comfy clothes. flannel pyjama trousers. sometimes she’ll sleep in adam’s shirts bcos they smell like him and she likes that, but when she does sleep in adam’s shirts they uhhh haha dont sleep for a while ;)))

are either of them insomniacs?

june is !!! i think around book 4, maybe 5, someone’s gonna talk her into seeing someone abt it — because she really doesn’t sleep a healthy amount, i’m talking 5-8 hours a week — and she’ll start taking sleeping pills, but for now she just drinks a fuckload of coffee and keeps herself busy.

adam’s not rly an insomniac per se, but he doesn’t sleep as much as humans do, obviously

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

later in the series, yeah. i could see her being put on quetiapine bcos that’s what im on and that shit works

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

wrap their limbs around each other !!!! june’s like a cuddly octopus shdksjdl but adam loves it, honestly. he’ll often wrap his arms around her and put on of his hands up her shirt, over her spine, so he can have some nice skin-on-skin contact. yknow....... as a treat

who wakes up with bed hair?

both !!!! june’s is probably a bit worse bcos it’s longer ????

who wakes up first?

eh, depends. i’d say adam, bcos he’s More Responsible, but june really doesn’t sleep much, so it could go either way

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

neither ??? june doesn’t cook and adam’s not a good cook

what is their favourite sleeping position?

either adam on his back with june tucked into his chest, his arms around her, or both of them on their sides and adam spooning june. they love em !!!!

do they set an alarm each night?

they do. june has broken multiple alarm clocks, tho, so make of that what u will

who has nightmares?

both :((( june’s are more frequent, i think

can a television be found in their bedroom?

nah. adam wouldn’t want one, and june watches everything on her laptop

who has ridiculous dreams?

probably june. she’ll sleepily recount them to adam the next morning in bed and he’ll either hm? into her neck to show he’s listening or huff a laugh against her skin

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

june. adam has learned to accept this fact about her. usually he’ll just position her so that they’re both comfier when she does it, but he has been woken by her elbowing his side before

who makes the bed?

adam. june cba with that shit. she’s just gonna get back in it anyways !!!!

what time is bed time?

adam pushes june to go to bed by 11. sorry u gotta take care of ur stupid energiser bunny girlfriend, buddy

any routines/rituals before bed?

eh nothing in particular i dont think ??? nothing out of the standard brush teeth / clean face / get into pjs thing anyway

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

june is the GRUMPIEST. she’s not a morning person in the slightest

WORK.

who is the busiest?

hmmmmm. they’re both probably equally busy ??? i mean adam’s the head of the unit so he probs has work he has to do, but then june’s basically the head of the department bcos the captain’s never around, so she has a lot of work. and she has to balance that work with the agency. maybe june’s slightly busier ???

who rakes in the highest income?

eh they’re probs around the same ???

are any of them unemployed?

nope

who takes the most sick days?

june bcos adam doesn’t get sick. also sometimes she just wants A Personal Day and / or is hungover

what are their jobs?

he’s a commanding agent, she’s a liaison and also police detective

who sucks up to their boss?

haha adam’s technically june’s boss and she loves to suck badum tss

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

june shdjshdk girl is Bad at time management. sometimes tho they’ll both be late bcos a morning fuck went on too long. june is very smug on these days

who stresses the most?

uhhh both stress a lot ?? june has anxiety. but adam also is constantly on edge so ????

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

yeah they enjoy them i guess. adam definitely enjoys his. june is..... complicated. she doesn’t trust the agency and she doesn’t rly wanna be a cop, but she doesn’t know what else she could do so ???

are they financially stable?

yeah for the most part. the agency has good salaries

HOME.

who does the washing?

i think maybe june does it more often just bcos as a human she....... probably ???? goes through more clothes ??? that makes sense to me ??? idk hsdk

who takes out the trash?

adam, usually. especially if it’s dark; june ain’t going nowhere at night

who does the ironing?

again, adam. just bcos he’s more likely to have clothes that need ironing. june has never touched an iron in her life

who does the cooking?

i mean june is notorious for not cooking but rather ordering takeout, so...... i mean i dont think adam is a bad cook but he can rly only cook rly bland, simple meals, and he obviously doesnt need to eat so. i guess if it’s one of them it’s june

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

yeah june sdhskdhksdk she just has a very short attention span bro idk what to tell u

who is messier?

yep june no question. adam’s a lil bit of a neat freak im calling it

who leaves the toilet roll empty?

neither

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

yeah june. sometimes adam if he’s had a long day tho. or like if theyre getting Freaky and leaving clothes everywhere. but in general, june’s more likely

who forgets to flush the toilet?

ew gross people do that ?? neither

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

june shdjjsjdk

who answers the telephone?

uhh both ig ?? but they don’t have like a landline or anything they only have their cells

who mows the lawn?

adam, but only once they’ve moved out of june’s apartment after having the kids. june’s got a black thumb bro she’s not allowed near the garden on nate’s orders

who does the vacuuming?

both !!! they take turns

who does the groceries?

june 100% and she always ends up getting shit that wasn’t on the list shdjskdk. sometimes they’ll do it together tho

who takes the longest to shower?

uhhhh i mean. i think they shower together quite a lot so ???? both ???

who spends the most time in the bathroom?

like getting ready ???? uhh depends. if june’s doing makeup, her, but she doesn’t do it often

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

nahhh the agency pays them well

how many cars do they own?

originally only june’s shitty little hatchback, but when the kids are born they get a second one. probably it is very pretty and fancy and expensive, because adam

what’s their song?

either dermot kennedy’s power over me, or fortress by bear’s den. like, seriously, look up the lyrics; they’re the ULTIMATE adamjune songs

do they live in the city or in the country?

does wayhaven count as a city, even if it’s like... a small town ??? idk

do they own their home or do they rent?

june’s renting her apartment currently, but when ollie and emma are born, they buy a place at the edge of town

do they enjoy their surroundings?

eh. neither of them are especially fond of wayhaven, but i think maybe it grows on them over time ??? june definitely in her current point in canon is only there bcos she doesn’t know where else to go

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

Yearn like fools. they miss each other shdjshdk they’ll call each other if adam is ever sent out on an assignment away from town or june has to take some kinda business trip. theyre always super happy to be reunited

where did they first meet?

at an abandoned warehouse in book 1. june shot him. it was great

who spends the most money when out shopping?

uhhhhhh bro i genuinely don’t know ??? adam and june both have terrible taste in clothes; he walks around in cargo pants half the time and she’s never not in something oversized and baggy and possibly falling apart ???

ig june spends a lot on technology ??? and on food ????

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

ok i mean adam has already in canon gotten shirtless and flashed his assets at june while convinced he feels nothing for her so. him. he’s a show-off we all know this

any mental issues?

yeah lmao. june already had ptsd before canon from being assaulted in college, and now it’s just worse bcos of everything with murphy and shit. she also has depression, because obviously, and anxiety. also adhd if that counts ??? it probably counts

i think adam’s got some ptsd too from that Terrible Fiery Scene Of Death we saw in the mirror from his past, and probably that’s compounded by experiences since he became a vampire too ??? possibly some depression as well just bcos i’m now considering his whole ‘numb for years’ thing and how that overlaps with depression ?? :/// idk

who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

adam doesn’t trip often but when he does june howls with laughter. usually if he’s tripping it’s bcos she’s done something Very Distracting. one time she took her shirt off in their living room when he wasnt expecting it and he walked into a wall

when june trips (which she often does) adam will sorta snort very quietly or his lips will twitch but he’ll always stabilise her quickly

who’s terrified of bugs?

yep june 100%

who kills the spiders around the house?

shsjdhskdjk ADAM. “june, it’s just an insect.” “um, untrue, it’s an arachnid, those are different fucking things—” “it’s miniscule. even more so than you are.” “okay, ha, ha, very funny, please kill it, adam i’m serious, kill it, it has eight legs, it’s waiting to murder me, fucking kill it!” “i’m killing it, calm down.”

do they have any fears for their future?

yeah. june’s worried she’s gonna get totally murdered lmao bcos odds are someone’s gonna try again. adam is also terrified abt this distinct possibility. he’s also scared that, like... she’ll live ??? as in ??? she won’t ever turn, she’ll stay mortal her whole life, and after waiting 900 years for her, he’ll only get a few decades with her before she dies.

that’s like not gonna happen she absolutely becomes a vampire after emma and ollie are born but still. he’s dramatic

their favourite place?

the warehouse, probably ??? it’s safe and secure and it’s comfortable ??? or else june’s apartment. i think june prefers her apartment just slightly

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

adam ??? but it’s more likely that they’d go out to a fancy dinner, rather than him cook one

who pays the bills?

they split them

who’s the tallest?

sndjhskdjkd adam. june hates and loves this fact in equal measure. adam is very smug abt how teeny tiny his girlfriend is shdkshdk he finds it very funny. also very sweet he loves it

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

both, honestly. theyre bad at keeping their hands off each other once they’re together. maybe june is ever so slightly more likely ?? idk

who wanders around in their underwear?

both. adam likes to distract june w his abs bro what can i say. june just is most comfortable walking around in a sports bra and briefs

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

june !!! and she’ll lean into his face and sing right at him with this big dumb grin too. adam will refuse to make eye contact but he’ll have this tiny lil smile on his face

what do they tease each other about?

everything. june roasts adam on the daily. adam will very dryly retort back every time. they were made for each other im telling u. 

june will sometimes bring up his whole humans are weak thing at the most ridiculous times. like, adam tries to get her to get out of bed in the morning and she’ll groan and start lamenting how weak and fragile she is, she couldn’t possibly get out of bed in this state, adam, i have glass bones and paper skin, don’t u love me ????

adam’s teasing is just dryly taking the piss out of dumb shit she says. she’ll talk abt a fight she had with someone and say she went “wa-pow!” when she hit them and he’ll just deadpan repeat, “wa-pow.” his face totally straight. i wuv themm

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

i mean neither they both have bad fashion taste. but also june hates the fucking cargo pants bruh

who crushed first?

adam did shdkshdk even if he didn’t realise. june didn’t figure out she liked him until the time between book 1 and book 2, because she missed him and she couldn’t figure out why

any alcohol or substance related problems?

uhhh no not rly. june has a history of using recreational drugs but that was in college and she doesn’t touch most of that shit these days

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

june probably shdjshdk she’ll have a girl’s night with farah, morgan, and tina, and just come home absolutely fucking twatted. adam always tucks her in

who swears the most?

yeah june. she swears in every other word. the first time she made adam curse is burned into her brain seriously she takes such pride in it

[ralfstrashcan]

thoughts on the older sh generation (maryse, robert, luke, jocelyn, valentine, jia, imogen, etc)

In short: They all suck hahaha. Kidding!! (Or am I???)

Maryse. For this I wanna differentiate between Good!Maryse and Bad!Maryse. I have a lot of appreciation for Bad!Maryse because she’s a greatly balanced character, calculating, cunning, a true opportunist and dipping into emotional abuse/manipulation (though I honestly don’t think she does it intentionally).I very begrudgingly tolerate Good!Maryse. I don’t hate her redeemed state per se, but I roll my eyes whenever she’s on screen and it has everything to do with her ‘redemption’ that happened in one second and off-screen. I’m all for a character seeing the error of their ways and becoming the best version of themselves but you have to work for that and the show didn’t. Instead of showing her struggle, of showing the hardships a redemption brings, two steps forward and one step back, the glacially slow improvement of the relationship between Maryse and all the people she wronged (her children and especially Magnus) the show opted for instant forgiveness and family feels from everyone involved. And it pisses me off so much. So everytime goody two-heels Maryse makes an appearance, declares her love for Magnus and has the audacity to lead him to the altar (when this was clearly Cat’s place!!) I’m reminded of the disappointingly cheap 'character development’ we got and rage XD

Robert. What is there to say about Robert except that he’s disappointingly wasted potential in human shape? He was surprisingly supportive of Malec after 1x12, he wanted to ‘talk Maryse around’ and instead of exploring this potential of him being the supportive and less racist parent, the one with an actual cordial relationship with Izzy and exploring the family drama that ensues when he cheats, the show pushed him aside and made him a weak-spined tool that’s good for nothing. So yeah, Robert can get lost since he’s a waste of everyone’s time.

Luke. Oh yeah, my man Luke. I have a lot of fondness for Luke because he’s the cool dad friend and a cool cop. But boy does he lack common sense sometimes haha. It’s infuriating. Always sticking his fingers into weird substances instead of, idk, using his werewolf senses. He used his pack as a personal army to defend his interests (aka supporting the shadowhunters) and it’s why they cancelled him (and rightly so). He pointlessly wanted to get framed for Heidi’s massacre and gives shit advice (Maia: How do I tell people what to do when I can’t get my own life to make sense? - Luke: You’ll figure that part out.). But he’s the dad. I love his energy and the way he emotionally supports Clary and Simon and Jace and kicks ass (whenever the plot allows it, lol).

Jocelyn. Wait, did I say Robert is a waste of everyone’s time? I take it back. Jocelyn is the real waste of everyone’s time. She’s so annoying. Never gives any relevant information, is self-righteous to a degree that makes me sick, and freakin unteachable. The only good thing she ever did was leave the Circle and love Clary. But apart form that she’s constantly getting on my nerves with her pathos. Ngl I cheered when she died. *Lorenzo voice* Goodbye and good riddance.

Valentine. He’s pretty good at influencing and manipulating people, considering the fact that the only thing he has to offer is fanatism, home-cooked spaghetti and emotional abuse. I mean, why does anyone follow him? He’s supposed to be so charismatic but… I have yet to see something that convinces me. Don’t get me wrong, I love Alan van Sprang’s acting but the actions of the characters and how people react to him don’t line up at all. Anyway, as a character Valentine makes a decent villain. He’s brute force instead of refined elegance but we can’t all be Asmodeus, right?

Jia. Ugh, honestly I don’t know. I did like her up to the end of 3A because I felt she was stern but just. After that I was not so sure anymore. For example that deal she tried to strike with Iris? Shady as shit. And to this day I’m not entirely sure she didn’t know about Aldertree’s little undownworldering-downworlders-program. She does make a good politician though, I guess. I like her vibe but I’m not sure about her morality.

Imogen. *sigh* Talk about a character who could have SO EASILY EVADED HER DEMISE. Honestly. First aid first, then fire message sending. It’s not that hard. I just… smh. You get no sympathy from me, Imogen. Apart form that she’s a hypocritical hardass, pretends to care about justice but really just cares about favoritism. And her “It’s the Herondale in you” spiel is so ridiculous XD XD I mean, points for comedy?! The only thing that really works in her favor is that she’s the only character who actually looked better after a haircut. (Underhill weeps in the background. Speaking of which!)

Underhill. He’s a nice fella. Finally someone who appreciates the work Alec does as Head of the Institute. Even though he was occasionally misused as a plot device (to bait cheating angst in 3x06, to appear anti-Magnus in 3x15) there was always an acceptable explanation for his behavior so I didn’t have to resort to hating him. He really started growing on me when I included him as a background character in a few of my fics. He’s a gentleman and a true friend and I adore him.

Hodge. I’m kinda fond of Hodge even though he turns out to be a traitor. Tbh I never really got why he did that? He didn’t strike me as super anti-Downworlder so the only explanation I see is revenge on the Clave and I mean, supporting genocide just to get personal revenge? Talk about a shit morality. And how could he betray the Lightwood kids like that? He helped raise them, dammit. Can I just pretend there’s an alternate timeline where he didn’t betray them and is the cool uncle friend? Thanks.

Aldertree. Lovely as a character, despicable as a person. He’s so sleek and slimy that it’s a delight to see him act and even more delightful to see him be put in his place by Alec

Lydia. She’s not strictly part of the older sh generation but a) I headcanon her to be a few years older than Alec, what with her position as Clave Envoy and already having been married so that has to be enough because b) how could I pass up this opportunity to proclaim my love for her?? She’s a wonderful character, steadfast in spite of her less than ideal situation and her ensuing resignation. She still tries to be just and good and fight for what is right. I’m forever robbed that she just disappeared, never to be seen again during S2.

Did I forget anyone??

[jq37]

oh WOW that new bloodkeep ep

**spoilers for family in freefall bloodlines and lifelines**

Man this episode was a lot. Probably my fave of the season so far.

Brennan seems to have an M.O. in terms of plotting things. They way we got a focus on each character in a stressful situation reminded me a lot of Family in Flames from the FH season which came at about the same point in the story.

Anyway, we start with Brennan giving the most unnecessarily verbose description of falling ever.

I am actually not sure how big Lilith is supposed to be in relation to everyone else at this point. Or how big her kids are supposed to be. I thought the really young ones were like straight spiders but like Jessa and the boy who’s name I’m forgetting were centaur style like her. But like, idk. 

Efink insisting that she’s still holding the wheel (even though it truly means nothing) was so funny.

Both Matt and Brennan do very good re-entry sound effects.

Brennan: Feel free to do nothing.

Rekha: *SLAMS that induce labor button with no hesitation*

Truly amazing

“You feel your fire break.”

Leiland falling to his doom while bossa nova music plays in the background and rolling his eyes at Maggie is iconic.

Everyone is dying and Sohkbar is just like, fine.

Lilith polymorphs into a full ass spider.

Even though it ended up going sideways (literally) not a bad plan from Markus.

Brennan is so good at scene setting exposition.

Erika acted the hell out of that moment when she and Sohkbar share a look before she tells Russel everything is gonna be OK. She didn’t have to but she did that for us.

The wheel that steers nothing metaphor was such a good turn of phrase from Bren.

Efink’s DOUBLE NAT ONES.

WOOOOOW.

Rekha goes, “THIS is the bad day,” with Kristen Bell’s inflection and I am reminded that it has not even been a full 24 hours in game since ep 1. Wild.

Anyway, Efink’s norn spirit things disappear which is what happens when you roll snake eyes I guess. Amy is legit tearing up.

Brennan’s throwaway joke of explaining story structure low key killed me.

Leiland gets advantage on perception and rolls a nat 20!

Are all of the Vingury just gay for the next person in their chain of command? Because that’s what it seems like.

Matt’s flustered Leiland as Miles implies ~things~ is adorable.

Animal handling 2, electric boogaloo. I love that joke.

Maggie is so OP. Maggie hits the ground and isn’t even at half HP. Leiland is knocked into negatives though.

His first death save is a nat 1. WHICH IS 2 FAILURES. I was so stressed.

Then J'er'em'ih rolls a nat 20 to go save him!

I love the phrase, “J'er'em'ih’s normal form” as if he has a normal anything.

“J'er'em'ihdeserves the credit.”

Anyway J'er'em'ih(w/ an assist from Sohkbar) saves Leiland!

Rekha was so concerned for John. Like, not even Maggie. Rekha.

“It’s gonna be an egg!?”

Samantha Eagles. (Of the Philadelphia Eagles?) I died at that line.

Maggie levels up and gets healing magic. (“Fuck yeah!” says Maggie.) John stabilizes.

The fact that Maggie thought it might be an egg makes me concerned that she maybe isn’t ready to be a mom.

I love that Maggie just wordlessly presents her baby to Lilith (the alpha mom of the group) like a kid showing their mom and art project.

OK, this is such a tiny moment but I love, love, love that Maggie has a good enough relationship with Lilith that when she heard what she thought was a threat to her baby, she just asked, “Is that a threat to the baby?” instead of attacking her or going *Maggie will remember that* and harboring mistrust. The way she asked was so adorable. Also, Lilith would never.

Markus floats basically the exact same plan as Lilith (defect to good, get pardons) but at least he uses it as a plan of true last resort.

Lilith being the keeper of basically all of Efink’s self esteem is great. Also, everyone has to keep reminding her that she is queen.

“As the resident magnificent failure.”

“Allow me to be the basis for your self comparison. That’s the best I can offer you.” LEILAAAAAAAND.

Anyway, Leiland gives a great pep talk to Efink who throws her spell cards over her shoulder irl (”it’s an RP episode. it’s fine”).

Amy to Brennan who is about to start roasting Efink’s entire life: Don’t do this.

So when Brennan said, “Efink gets to decide right now if she’s good at magic.” I was thinking, that’s a big thing to put in a PC’s hands unless you want the answer to be yes. Because, in another story, “No,” might be the better answer narratively, but who’s gonna voluntarily nerf themselves like that?

So Efink dips into an episode of Friendship is Magic which Brennan beautifully picks up the narration for and gets the info they need without rolling for it. She also has some major self actualization and is now dry, less vain, and less dramatic.

It kinda seems like this was leading towards Lilith being the new leader what with her thoughts while she was falling and her being passed up for the promotion but, come on. She would have to make a crazy soul rending deal to just take the crown normally and she has kids and common sense. Otherwise, I think Erika would have made that play.

“Is my son a different player than me?” I love Rekha.

Like Leiland, I fully thought she was gonna name the kids John at first. (Are you ‘allowed’ to jr. a kid who isn’t named after you or your spouse? I’ve never seen someone do that. As in, add the jr., not name a kid after a friend).

I love that Matt roleplays Leiland into so many awkward moments. A good RP-er doesn’t care about their character being cool all the time.

“I’m naming him after the name of yours that I prefer.” That was so sweet.

“First of all, J'er'em'ih’s an excellent judge of character.”

Everyone coming together to make Leiland feel better was so so sweet. These guys are like the exact opposite of murder hobos in a game where they 100% have the right to be.

The baby tells Leiland to kneel and he just does it because of course he does. (Leiland later: I HAVE A VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS)

Maggie after Leiland swears total fealty to Leiland Jr: Can’t you keep anything at like 80%?

Efink rolls a nat 20 on her check to navigate the Bloodkeep, basically completing her self actualization arc.

Leiland resists the urge to chase Hamhead, completing a portion of his arc.

The running thing of people giving Maggie biologically incorrect info on kids because of their drastically different biology.

Aww all of Lilith’s kids.

Lilith dispel magicking the book golem, implying she could have done that at any time and just chose not to.

Leiland apologizes to Maggie for being bitchy to her out of jealously, which I thought was sweet but was just the warm up act for what was about to happen.

But, before that, Maggie’s dad calls and Efink hangs up on him for her. For a second I thought that cutting off the call meant we wouldn’t get to see what was behind the doors but, luckily, that wasn’t the case.

(Also Sohkbar and Lilith eating popcorn as Maggie and her dad fight).

Did Efink appoint herself high adviser?

“Please don’t bite him,” *Leiland Jr. bites a spider*

So, anyway, Leiland and Maggie go into the portal and see visions of (1) weird sex between Zaul and Lilith and (more importantly), (2) Zaul bagging on Maggie when she’s not around/thirsting after Leiland when he’s not around.

The simile about winning the lottery after you find out money can’t buy you happiness was so good.

“What a fucking pig!”/“I agree.”/“Oh, do you?”/“Actually I do.”

I’M SO PROUD OF THEM.

Instead of being mad at Leiland (or Lilith for that matter) she just doubled down on being mad at her dickhead ex. And Leiland, instead of being all winner winner chicken dinner just felt bad for Maggie and Decklan.

“Was this something the baby should have seen?”/“No.”

“This is one of the lesser times it’s bad to say your father’s name.” Yikes Leiland.

Anyway, the whole hang makes plans to take Sohkbar shopping and it really fits in with the theme of this ep of everyone boosting everyone’s self esteem. This ep has a lot of genuinely heartwarming moments.

“Sohkbar yes. Sohkbar yes. Sohkbar yes.”

“What did you roll? [28] You see everything.”

Leiland Jr. as new king seems like a questionable decision imo but I’m not gonna backseat RP.

“You guys start engaging in a fun conversation about statecraft.”

“Lilith, I’d like a hug.” Lilith hugs her and kicks her legs up like she’s in the climax of a romcom.

The whole group hugs and Brennan calls them out and has a NPC call them out, even though he’s the person who led them to this path!

Man, the promo for this ep really made it sound more dire and less heartwarming that it actually was.

YOU’RE DEFINING GOOD

“Imagine there’s 9 squares in a grid.” TRAPP

That like 20 seconds had so many good lines. “We’re cutting out the middle man and taking evil straight to you.”/“We’re evolving evil.”/“We’re disrupting evil.”

Now that I think about it, they really haven’t escaped the bloodkeep so far, have they? They’ve been going back and forth between it but not really trying to escape it per se. 

Olag is back because, again, of course he is.

Final battle y'all!

Sounds like we’re getting actual Gollum next week so that should be fun. Also, very curious to see what that last, “No,” is in response to. These guys are good at cutting trailers so it could be nothing serious, but who knows?

[artificialqueens]

She Calls Me Your Highness - Sharon/Willam - pureCAMP

A/N - not sure how i managed this because i literally have an exam on monday but in the space of a few hours in the afternoon i wrote this and voila i guess its a fic challenge entry!

i went with sharon/willam for my rarepair (we need more of this wtf) and see if you can spot some of the silly cliches in here! i hope u all enjoy and pls send me lots of love bc i need it, like tinkerbell

(this is so long idk why aaaa)

Willam has an odd relationship with Sharon.

Well. That’s one way of putting it, anyway.

It started, she pondered, the moment they had met, eight years ago at the tender age of thirteen. Sharon was this scruffy thing, tall and skinny and entirely too long to look normal, dressed in ill-fitting scraps with a keen glint in her eyes. There was a smudge of dirt on her cheek that Willam’s gaze had fixated on immediately.

The large, stocky man behind her coughed subtly, nudging Sharon with his foot. Willam had waited patiently, her parents stood protectively either side of her.

It was the first time anyone had ever forgotten to curtsey.

A sharp thwack to the back of Sharon’s head soon corrected that wrong, and then she grinned at Willam as if to apologise. Which, whilst charming, was definitely not the correct protocol to address a young princess.

“Sharon.” The handler hissed. “Do you intend on eating tonight? Introduce yourself.”

Willam pursed her lips and remained silent; after all, she had been taught to do so. It was polite to allow non-royal folk a chance to exercise their poor attempts at grace and decorum. As a future ruler, it would make her look kind and down-to-earth, which was a desirable image. Everything was about cultivating the right image, as Willam would come to learn.

Sharon ran a hand - skeletal, with long, knobbly fingers - through her ratty almost-white hair. “Hello.”

Her voice was plain, provincial, with a hint of theatricality behind the emphasis in the way she spoke. There was nothing too offensive about it, but her parents had gasped as though affronted and the handler, who Willam was beginning to dislike, delivered another well-placed slap to the back of Sharon’s head.

She had forgotten to address her properly.

Rubbing the tender spot, she tried again. “Hello, Willam?”

Back then, Willam hadn’t known that she should be taking offense, but all children learn through doing. Surely, logically, judging by the muttered curses of her father and the utter mortification of the now-exasperated handler, she should be highly taken aback. She did her best to mimic their expressions, and to suppress the slight twinge of sympathy she felt when yet another blow struck the young girl.

At that point, it had seemed like Sharon was truly at a loss. Looking back on it, she hadn’t behaved insolent and rude, she had simply behaved like a child who didn’t know any better - or a child who knew better but had evidently forgotten in the face of a brand new situation.

“Princess?” Sharon attempted a third time, the glint in her eyes replaced with a nervous, hopeful shine.

The final blow came out of nowhere, and knocked the unsteady girl to the ground. Her height meant nothing in the absence of adolescent strength, and she hit the floor with the full force of an adult man. The handler placed his foot in the centre of her back, grabbed a handful of her hair and wrenched her head upwards so that, as she struggled for breath, her eyes could meet nobody’s except for Willam’s. Her face was directly level with Willam’s feet.

“G-Good to meet you, Your Highness.”

Satisfied, Willam’s parents and the somewhat cruel handler left the room to begin their business discussion, something that Willam was no doubt too young to understand or take part in. She didn’t know why Sharon had been brought to her, or why anything that had happened in the last few minutes had actually happened, but such was the life of a princess learning to be queen. Sharon stayed on the floor, her gaze still level with Willam’s feet, her breaths shaky and uneven.

Everyone said that was simply her place; on the ground, far beneath Willam. A lowly serving girl and nothing more.

It only took a few lessons in grace and status for Willam to learn that it was indeed the truth, and to quietly, complacently accept that girls like Sharon belonged where they were, and were treated how they were treated for good reason. So after that it was okay, she presumed.

–

Then they were fifteen, and Willam’s parents were holding a ball in the palace. It was fantastic news for Willam, who had been dying to meet with her friends for ages only to find them all busy with various courtly duties. Princess Alaska of the neighbouring kingdom had been away in some special school, no doubt nurturing her singing talent, and Willam had missed laughing with her. Princess Courtney hadn’t exactly been busy, per se, but she lived so far that the expenditures for travelling were a little too high, so letters had to suffice.

That meant that Willam’s only real company - discounting the governesses, who didn’t count because they were fucking boring - were the servants. Most of them didn’t really speak to Willam all that much, hyper aware that saying the wrong thing could cost more than their job was worth. Only one ever seemed to have the sheer gall to bite back and engage - and to nobody’s surprise, it was Sharon.

Willam reasoned to herself that she had requested Sharon specifically an hour and a half before the ball began because she was entertaining. Yes, that was it. That was the only reason, of course.

Her entrance was less than graceful, starkly different to that of the other serving girls. She didn’t lightly pad in, delicately opening the door and balancing the teapot and tray in the other arm - oh no, not at all. Sharon, ever the practical one, opted to barge the door open with her hip and charge in with the tea laid out in the tray which she held steadily with two hands.

Practical, yes, but unconventional and unbecoming of a palace servant.

“Hey, it’s my favourite ever princess. Afternoon, Willam.” She settled the tray down on a nearby table and flashed a grin - showing off her hideous gap tooth. It wasn’t hideous, really, and Willam was quite fond of it, but she had been told it wasn’t desirable, so she pretended she found it disgusting.

“You’re not supposed to call me that.” She retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sharon shrugged. “What, princess?”

She was being pedantic. Sharon was always pedantic, which would’ve been infuriating if Willam wasn’t secretly the same way. Plus, although it was a secret she would never share, Willam was sure that if Sharon wore nicer clothes, tended to her hair and scrubbed off the dirt that appeared habitually on her cheeks, she would be quite pleasing to look at. Only if she made all that effort, though.

“No, Willam. You’re not supposed to call me Willam.”

The argument was pointless. Sharon shrugged a second time.

“It’s your God-given name, isn’t it? Am I not allowed to address you as God would?”

“You’re not God.”

“And thank fuck for that.”

Yeah, that was another thing about Sharon; she swore like a sailor, and it had gotten her in heaps of trouble throughout her time at the palace. Willam, nevertheless, appreciated the refreshing colloquialisms that reminded her that life existed beyond the palace walls.

Sharon picked up the tray again, starting towards the parlour that led off from Willam’s bedchambers. Still laughing, Willam shook her head and flopped onto the bed beside her ballgown, which was laid out ready for the evening.

“Sharon…” She whined, deliberately elongating her name. “Just do it in here, I can’t be bothered to walk all the way into there.”

The fatal mistake came when Willam grabbed Sharon’s forearm, forgetting that her hands were perpetually icy and shocking to the touch. Sharon jerked instinctively, and time seemed to slow down as the tray clattered to the floor, the teapot spilled open, and its entire contents splattered over Willam’s ballgown.

Willam stifled a laugh, which stilled into a chilling silence as she studied Sharon’s face. She had frozen in place, her mouth open ever-so-slightly, her eyes wide and filled with fright. Fragments of the now-shattered teapot littered the floor as evidence of the mistake and the dress… The dress was utterly ruined.

“Sharon, it’s okay-” Willam began, before one of the governesses came to discover the source of the sudden commotion.

“What is- Oh, you useless girl!” She cried out, grabbing Sharon by the wrist and forcing her aside. “Look what you’ve done to that beautiful dress! That cost more than your whole family could earn in ten years!”

The analogy shook Willam a little bit, wondering if it meant that the dress was expensive, Sharon’s family was poor, or an upsetting mixture of the two. More worrying was the attitude and confidence that had drained out of Sharon and puddled on the floor along with the tea.

“I-I know, ma’am, I’m sorry.”

Willam remembered being so annoyed that Sharon was taking the blame. She hadn’t done anything wrong, for crying out loud, and yet she had clammed up uncharacteristically and accepted her responsibility for it.

“Ada, be reasonable.” Willam tried to calm the angry governess. “Look, all that happened was that Sharon was carrying the tea into the parlour and I-”

Sharon cut in swiftly. “I stumbled and dropped the tray, ma’am. I-I truly didn’t mean to, and if you would permit me to express how sorry I am I would like to redeem myself by helping Her Highness prepare for the ball.”

The governess snorted. “Hmph. Insolent girl. You may help the princess, after you have been punished for this silly amateur mishap. Do not let this happen again or the consequences will be much more severe. In the meantime, I will have Governess Nina bring out the spare gown.”

Willam lay on the bed and closed her eyes after they left, humming to try and drown out the sound of the whip cracking through the air and the pained cries that followed each one. She turned over once and then again, her stomach churning with a mixture of guilt and anger that didn’t sit well with her at all. She would never be able to figure out Sharon Needles, she decided, as a particularly agonised scream had her curling in on herself, sure she had caused that pain and simultaneously adamant that she hadn’t, given Sharon’s insistence.

She was fucking confusing, that was for sure.

Still as unwavering as ever, Sharon had appeared nonetheless a short while later, her hair more dishevelled than before and her face adorning a tight smile. Her steps were slow and deliberate and Willam ached to think of the damage the cruel whip had done to her, for no reason. She said nothing as Sharon let herself in, and examined the new dress on the bed.

“Well. If anything, I think this dress is prettier than the first one.” Sharon said dryly.

Willam rose to her feet, incensed. “Why the fuck would you do that? You know damn well that was my fault and she would never have fucking whipped me for it, so why even bother taking the blame? Are you an idiot?”

“No, Willam, I’m a servant. I’m beneath you. It’s my job to take the flack when shit like this happens.”

She had crossed her arms, and Willam’s eyes darted unwittingly to her chest before rising up again, only adding to her flushed cheeks.

“Your job is to serve, not to lie and take the heat for me.”

Sharon rolled her eyes and began to prepare the dress for Willam. “You’re welcome.”

“…Thanks.” Willam acquiesced, huffing slightly. “I’m not gonna apologise for going off on you, because I meant it and also I don’t apologise, but thanks for doing that. It wasn’t necessary, but it was nice I guess.”

It hit Willam all of a sudden the many times she had broken or ruined something, and the many times she had received no penance for it. Perhaps it wasn’t such a coincidence that Sharon always had dirt on her cheek, a bruise on her arm, a limp in her walk. Surely she hadn’t been taking responsibility for that the whole time?

God, if Sharon could stop and make sense for five minutes, it would make Willam’s life a lot easier. She still couldn’t work out if she actually liked Sharon, or if she didn’t.

“You’re not… you’re not mad at me, right?” Willam breached the topic as she stood before the mirror, Sharon behind her.

Sharon’s fingers were still long and knobbly, but swift and adept at performing most tasks she was asked to do. She fiddled with the laces of the corset and raised an eyebrow in nonchalance.

“Sounding a little insecure there, Willam.”

Infuriating. “No, I just mean - God, you’re an asshole. I mean for taking all the hits for me.”

“I’m not mad.” Sharon replied shortly.

She tugged on the corset strings, and Willam bucked forward, all of the air in her throat exiting in one strangled gasp as Sharon viciously tightened it to suck in her waist.

Oh, she was mad. Yeah, Willam didn’t like her again.

–

Eighteen years old. Another ball. Courtney was somewhere fraternizing with the rest of the foreigners (as Willam affectionately called her family and the rest of them), and Willam would rather die than talk to Vicky, so she started looking around for Alaska. She should’ve known the leggy blonde wasn’t there from the absence of her screechy laugh, but she paced the ballroom for a short while before deciding to step out into the gardens in a fit of anger.

Alaska wasn’t even in the ballroom, and Willam knew she hadn’t skipped out on the event because she had seen her sweeping in with her parents, her petite figure hidden beneath her opulent blue gown.

Where the hell had she got to?

Willam grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing servant and began to wander through the garden, stewing in her own frustration. The tightness of her corset wasn’t helping matters, either, as she tried to sit on a bench a few inches from the barn and found the task nearly impossible. Briefly, she thought about the freedom of the birds that fluttered above her in the branches, before dismissing the notion as too cliche and sickeningly cringy. Willam had more freedom than she cared to acknowledge - her only real constraint was fashion.

Still, she kicked a trowel out of her way and began pacing again, irritated at Alaska’s absence. She better have a good explanation for it, or else Willam would have to write to Vicky after the ball and tell her that Alaska was absolutely enchanted with her, and they should meet up as soon as possible to discuss a family alliance. It was cruel, yes, but it was what she deserved for leaving Willam all alone. She sighed, and turned back towards the palace.

The barn light was on.

Why the hell was the barn light on? Nobody was in the barn. There weren’t even any horses in the barn, or whatever else was kept in there (Willam didn’t know, having never been allowed to step foot somewhere so dirty). If some idiot servant had left the candles lit amongst all that hay, there would be hell to pay - that is, if the entire fucking palace didn’t burn down.

She considered fetching Charles, the gardener, but figured that it wasn’t fair to bother him on his night off. Her mind filled her with instances of Sharon - fucking Sharon crossing her mind again, annoying bitch - taking the blame for Willam’s messiness, and she decided perhaps it was her time to help out a forgetful servant.

The door to the barn was heavy, but opened slowly and silently as Willam pushed on it. It allowed her ample time to examine the room before her, taking in nothing but piles of hay and candles lit all around the edges to give the place some light. Empty, it seemed.

Or not. The silence of the door and Willam’s light footsteps gave nothing away as she slowly stepped in, snuffing the two candles either side of the door. It made little difference to the amount of light in the room, but it was a start. Two more steps forwards towards the next candle and Willam suddenly heard a rustling that made her heart stop.

Was it some kind of wild animal? Or a trap, maybe, designed to lure an innocent - allegedly - princess to her grisly end? Okay, maybe not so much the last one, considering the amount of variables that had led to Willam entering the barn in the first place. Still, some kind of crazy raccoon or fox wasn’t really off limits, not yet.

Willam held her breath as she began to tiptoe around the largest mound of hay, which rose up several feet beyond her height. Then, filling her with first fear, then dread, and lastly confusion, she heard a giggle.

“Do that again,” A voice floated out, ever-so quiet, and yet oddly familiar in a way Willam couldn’t place. She stood still and listened.

Another voice replied. “What, this?”

Both voices seemed far too familiar, but in her confusion Willam had no idea who they were. She kept straining to listen, hoping that the more she heard, the sooner she would remember who the voices belonged to. In the meantime, she heard a soft gasp and a satisfied hum.

“If someone saw us right now-” The first voice said, though she didn’t sound worried at all.

“What would you do?” The second asked, and did something that caused the first to giggle again.

“Probably keep kissing you.”

A gasp. “You’re so bad.”

“You’re a bad influence on me, baby. Oh my god!”

Whatever the oh my god was in response to, Willam didn’t care to find out, because the voices suddenly registered in her mind and it was enough to send her reeling. She stepped out from behind the hay to confront to two.

“Okay, what the fuck?!”

Willam wasn’t quite sure what she expected, but this certainly wasn’t it.

Alaska lay against the hay, her beautiful gown still thankfully draped across her but her hair and her lipstick all in disarray. Her eyes were sparkling with what initially seemed like arousal, but something deeper and more tender filled her gaze. Straddled over her hips was Sharon, dressed in a manner than Willam had never seen her in before, her eyes clouded with the same amalgamation of lust, desire and affection as Alaska’s. For starters, she was wearing breeches, which were impossibly tight and brown and clung to every sinful curve of her ass and thighs in a way that was deeply inappropriate for any lady, even a poor one. The off-white blouse she was wearing had long, billowing sleeves that were rolled up to her elbows, and it was half ripped open, presumably by Alaska’s hands, to reveal her breasts. Her chest was heaving up and down and Willam couldn’t tear her eyes away.

“Willam!” Alaska screeched, pushing Sharon off of her and shooting to her feet. “I - uh - we were just-”

“Save it.” Willam nearly spat, not sure why she was angry but too incensed to step back and think about it. “I can see what you were doing, it’s clear as fucking crystal. Are you insane?! She’s a servant!”

Alaska babbled helplessly, fussing with her hair and trying her hardest to save face. Sharon, now stood a few feet behind her, was breathing heavily, evidently also angry, but her failure to button up her shirt had Willam going dizzy.

“You’re a princess, and she’s a servant.” She repeated, well aware that this was what was causing Sharon’s fiery glare. “And you’re making out in my fucking barn? Don’t you have any common sense? Aren’t your parents in the midst of planning your fucking marriage?”

Alaska had the decency to look ashamed, but still attempted to defend herself. “Actually, they’re not, Willam. I did what you said and I told them I’m not ready, and they said it was okay and they’ve given me more time.”

“How did you even meet? Is this the first time that you’ve-” The words caught in Willam’s throat, but she didn’t know why. She refused to meet Sharon’s eyes and directed her fury to Alaska.

“I-”

Sharon stepped forwards, and Willam hated how shameless she was with her nudity. “No, Your Highness, this isn’t the first time this has happened. But not here.”

They both fell silent. Neither of them told Willam where they had met, and her wrath only incurred further. Still, Alaska’s eyes were filled with guilty tears, and perhaps it was time she doled out some of her anger on Sharon instead.

“Your mother wants you. Go find her.”

Alaska didn’t need to be told twice, first shooting a pained glance in Sharon’s direction and then lifting her skirt to exit the barn as quickly as she possibly could. Willam redirected her anger to Sharon, who looked exquisite in the softly flickering candlelight.

What?

“Don’t be so harsh on Alaska, this isn’t her fault.” Sharon said roughly.

Willam snorted derisively. “What, so you’re taking the blame for everything she does wrong now, too? Guess I’m not so special after all, huh.”

Sounding a little insecure there, Willam. “Wrong?”

It was only one word, but it was laced with a dangerous tone that sent shivers running down Willam’s spine, and yet… a peculiar feeling pooling in her lower half. What the hell was Sharon doing to her?

“Whatever. Listen to me, Sharon, I want to know -”

“No.” Sharon came closer, and yet again Willam found her eyes somehow mesmerised by her exposed breasts. “No, I wanna talk about why you think it’s so disgusting and wrong for someone like Alaska to be kissing someone like me.”

Willam swallowed angrily. “I didn’t say that.”

“You meant it though, didn’t you? All you fucking royal folk are the same, you think I’m some kind of dirty plaything that everyone wants to look at but won’t touch. I care about Alaska.”

“All of us royal folk? Can you even hear the bullshit you’re spouting right now?” Willam spluttered.

Sharon’s face hardened. “You haven’t stopped staring since you walked in. I know exactly what I fucking mean.”

She sighed heavily. “I met Alaska at the ball six months ago, when I was on serving duty. She was sweet and she started asking me about myself, and I didn’t tell her anything because that’s my fucking job as a lowlife servant, but she kept trying and she was so kind that she wore me down. It wasn’t long after that when she found out about my side-gig and she begged me to show her. This is my fault, not hers.”

Willam’s blood ran cold as she pictured the two of them together in more intimate situations - various states of undress, or perhaps entirely unclothed, kissing hard and fast in sleazy taverns across the kingdom.

“Your… side-gig?” Despite her best efforts, Willam’s voice was wracked with confusion and - regrettably - a hint of fear.

Sharon shook her head, like the assumption offended her. “I’m not a prostitute, Willam, I wasn’t offering her my services. I - There’s a group of us down in the outskirts of the kingdom who grew up poor and working on our scraps of farm land. There used to be a ton of bandits, so we learned how to fight them off and they’re gone now, but there’s this small sparring club where we keep fit and teach others to fight. I’ve been privately sparring with Alaska for the last few months, and… I guess one thing led to another.”

Sparring? That was an improvement from prostitution, sure, but the trust and the intimacy of it didn’t escape her mind. She could see the two of them sweating and panting, Alaska dressed in the same inappropriate garb as Sharon as their limbs connected, blocking and dodging and swerving with some kind of alluring grace that made no sense. She could see Sharon’s muscles flexing in the tight breeches, watch her chest rising and falling with exhaustion as she ripped the shirt open and poured cold water over her head to cool herself.

What was happening to her?

“Teach me.”

The command came out of nowhere, but a command it was.

“Huh?”

“I said, teach me.” Willam repeated. “And I won’t tell anyone about this.”

Sharon laughed mirthlessly. “Are you blackmailing me?”

This time, it was Willam who stepped closer. They were merely inches apart, and if Willam were to do as much as to suck in a deep breath, her dress would be pressed against Sharon’s bare chest. The very thought had her pulse racing.

“Not blackmailing you. I just… want to learn. Embroidery is boring, and… if I tell the governesses I’ve taken up landscape paintings, they’ll send you with me to keep me safe…”

She smiled gently, not sure where her anger had gone but not missing the blazing heat it had inflamed inside her. It didn’t make any sense, and she was glad it had gone. Her tummy fluttered as Sharon grinned, shyly at first, until her face split into her usual amused expression. God, she’s fucking beautiful in this light.

“Alright, Willam. You’ve got yourself a deal.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “I guess I should do up my shirt now, huh.”

Willam eyed the beginnings of a love bite on Sharon’s neck and felt the familiar flames licking at her insides once again. She turned away to leave.

“Should doesn’t always mean you have to. I usually take should as a suggestion, nothing more.”

–

For two years they sparred together, and for two years Willam’s relationship with Sharon seemed to get weirder and weirder. Sparring was just as she’d predicted, hot and heavy, and it was a shock to the system being so physical with someone. Sharon’s boundaries disappeared once they were out in the open, safe from everyone in miles upon miles of green grass that stretched far enough to obscure them from sight.

Most of the time they sparred and talked; sometimes they just sparred; sometimes they just talked. Willam wasn’t as good as Sharon, but she was learning, and most importantly, she was spending time with her.

Not that she was really sure why that made her so happy, but it did.

When Willam arrived at their usual spot, thanking whoever was listening up above for the perfectly cool, fresh weather for training in, she found Sharon alone with a piece of paper held between her hands. She hadn’t noticed Willam’s presence, and didn’t even glance up as she called her name.

Why was she so desperate for Sharon’s attention? She was a fucking princess, everyone paid attention to her.

“Uh, Sharon? Hello?”

Sharon looked up, only for a moment, and then her eyes dropped back down to the paper in front of her. “Yes, I can see you.”

So fucking irritating. Some things would never change, Willam thought to herself. Even as she had grown older, more beautiful, capturing Willam’s attention - she was still a bitch with an attitude far too uncouth for a serving girl. Then again, she supposed, out here Sharon wasn’t a palace servant. She was a sparring teacher and a free woman, a liberty she could seldom enjoy. Willam’s authority didn’t mean shit here.

“Are we sparring today?” Willam tried to tone down the hopefulness in her voice. In truth, she had been looking forwards to it for a fortnight. Her parents had dragged her to another kingdom to sit in on their business relations, in order to get a concept of what she would need to do when it came her time to be queen, but she felt stifled and bored without Sharon to bounce off of. She had declined the offer to come along on the trip, leaving Willam to take some other stuffy maid who lived only to serve, never to laugh or put Willam in her place.

She had thought about Sharon the entire time. Missed her, even. It didn’t make much sense, but she knew that was how she had felt.

“I’m not in the mood.”

Sharon’s words were clipped. Willam sat down beside her, already kitted out in her own breeches so that she didn’t have to worry about grass stains on her clothes, and sighed frustratedly.

“Ugh, thanks. Make me walk all the way out here for nothing, huh?” She complained, wincing at how entitled she sounded. Sometimes being a princess had its downfalls, and this was one of them.

Sharon scowled. “I didn’t have to sit here and wait for you, ungrateful bitch. I came just so you wouldn’t be all freaked out that I ditched you. I just don’t want to fucking spar, that’s all. Go practise with the dummy if you really wanna fight. Work on your precision.”

Willam started pulling grass out of the ground in handfuls, trying and failing to quell the feeling rising in her stomach. What even was it, anyway? Disappointment? Resentment? Anger? Jealousy?

“Too worn out from Alaska, huh?” She remarked petulantly, kicking a clod of mud from the ground and watching it fly through the air.

Sharon folded the letter. “Actually, we split up if you must know. Is it fun being an asshole all the time, or do you ever get bored of it?”

Something stirred inside her, but she didn’t know quite what it was. The concern she felt for her friend - if she could even call Sharon her friend, because she truly had no idea what the relationship between her and her servant would even be called at this point - only appeared afterwards, in the wake of the sudden surge of warmth.

“Shit… God, I’m sorry, Sharon. Is that letter from her?”

Sharon nodded, her mouth set in a hard line. She pulled her knees close to her chest and frowned. “It’s been a long time coming, to be honest. I knew it would arrive at some point, I just didn’t know when. Ever since her coronation she’s been different. She doesn’t want to know me anymore.”

“That’s not true.” Willam attempted to comfort her, reaching out a shaky hand to rub Sharon’s back. That was what people did, right? A normal, friendly action. Electric sparks seemed to jump from her fingertips at the slightest bit of contact.

“She’s been stressed, Sharon, it’s a difficult job. I’m sure it’s not that she doesn’t want to see you.”

“She’s changed.” Sharon insisted, her words tinged with bitterness. “I’ll tell you the truth about her, Willam, she’s just fucking ambitious. She’ll stop at nothing to make herself and her kingdom powerful, it’s all she cares about now. When was the last time she wrote to you? Alaska, she… she’s been distant with me for months now. Doesn’t want to train, doesn’t want to meet up, too busy to care that it was my birthday and I waited up all night for her… All she wants is to have power. Last I heard, she’s in the midst of a proposal from Grigolia. She doesn’t love him, of course, but they’re incredibly influential. It’ll be great for her kingdom.”

She sighed, and it was strained with unshed tears. “I’m happy for her. She got over the anxiety she was having over being a queen and now she’s thriving. I just didn’t realize that I had to be out of the picture for that to happen.”

Willam sucked in a breath, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t even known that Alaska was so worried about her future as a ruler, but then she guessed that she had confided in Sharon during their stint as passionate lovers. Not a single letter had arrived from her in the past few months but again, she had just assumed Alaska was busy with her new duties and her old flame.

“I’m not upset.” Sharon added, sounding far more upset than she was trying to play it off as. “I knew this would happen. I’m - This is what’s best for her, and I got over that long before she even broke up with me. It’s this fucking letter that’s got me. Here, see how fucking different she is now.”

Dear Ms Sharon Needles,

It is regrettable that I inform you of the termination of our relationship. Truly I have loved you for a long time and every moment we spent together I shall treasure in my heart and honour in my memory for as long as I live. Still, I find it pertinent that I explain to you my decision and my reasoning, so that you are not left hanging on to a feeble dream of what once was.

When we met, I was a young princess still unsure of my fate, and you were the escape into the wilderness that I had always dreamed about. How fantastically romantic it was, and thrilling to escape with you and to learn skills that no self-respecting princess should know. It was exhilarating and you, dearest, were breathtaking.

However, I know that you are as aware as I am that a relationship between a simple servant and the queen of a kingdom should never exist. A marriage between us would be impossible and thus, I have to put my loyal subjects and the future of my home before a fling with a heathen. I know that you understand this.

Perhaps we will keep in touch, and I may see you once in a while, should I visit Princess Willam’s home. Rest assured I bear no ill will towards you, but that it is only status keeping us apart.

Farewell and best wishes,

Queen Alaska E.J.T,

Glamatronia

“So politely worded.” Sharon muttered, as Willam came to the end of the neatly-written letter. “Such a kind, loving way to tell me that she’s given up on us because I’m poor and my lowly, shit-shovelling status won’t help her progress in life. I honestly - honestly! - don’t care, it’s just…”

She tore the letter from Willam’s grasp and tucked it into the front pocket of her shirt. “We never talked about status. That never mattered. She was a princess and I was a servant but when we were together, none of that meant anything. She was just Alaska and I was just Sharon.”

A pause. “Sorry. Shouldn’t be talking shit about your friend. Off with my head, right?”

Willam shook her head fervently. “Sharon, this is… I’m so sorry. I don’t know why she’s done this. I don’t… who in their right mind would break up with you?”

Sharon’s eyes shot up. “Huh?”

Did I really just say that? To Sharon? What the hell does that even mean?

“I mean, uh… Well, I mean what I said. Really, what reason does she have besides some bullshit about status?”

Sharon smiled, but it lasted only a moment. “You’re sweet, Willam. But I’m not exactly a catch and I knew that when I began this shit with Alaska. I just hate that she had to remind me that I’m nothing.”

“You’re not nothing. Who says you’re not a catch?” Willam had no control over any of the words that left her lips. She needed to move, or leave, or do something, before she ended up saying something that she would regret for the rest of her life.

This time, Sharon let out a proper laugh, and the harsh, barking cackle was like music to Willam’s ears.

“Are you serious? Willam, look at me.” Please, Sharon, I’m having trouble tearing my eyes away from you. “I’m not marriage material, I have nothing to give. I have no dowry, my father is unknown and so I bear my mother’s maiden name purely because it’s the only one there is, and she died six years ago.” I don’t need money. I don’t need anything, you wouldn’t have to give anything to me. “Plus as far as wifely duties go I’m a mess, sure I can serve but I drink and swear like a sailor and absolutely nobody would find that attractive.” I do, I find it incredibly attractive, I think you’re more beautiful than Aphrodite herself. “I don’t even dress properly, for fuck’s sake. I’m either in a servant uniform or these breeches and shirt, neither of which are appropriate.” But my god do they look good on you, does everything look good on you?

What the hell is happening to me?

“Sharon, come on. You’ve never looked in a mirror and once thought that you’re beautiful? You’ve never heard me laughing at your jokes and realized how funny and charming you are?”

Just like that, Sharon’s features softened. She looked up at Willam, and god, her eyes were the prettiest shade of blue. They reminded Willam of the sky at night, dark and inky and shining with flecks of stars, and all at once everything made sense to her. The misplaced anger, the confusion, the rising jealousy…

Sharon had been setting her heart aflame for years and she had been ignoring it for way too long.

“You… you think I’m beautiful? And charming?” Sharon ran a hand through her hair, an action Willam had become accustomed to watching her do when she was nervous. “God, with all the shit I’ve said to you in the palace over the years I should be sat in a dungeon, not being complimented by you. This makes no sense.”

Willam shook her head softly. “Fuck… Sharon, you’ve never made sense to me. I don’t think you ever will.”

Sharon’s hair was as soft as it looked, and her skin was smooth and warm, and somehow they were kissing and Willam’s heart was racing and her pulse was heightened and my god, she had been pining for this for so long and now nothing else in the world mattered. All that mattered was here and now, and if the world erupted into storm and fire around them she wouldn’t have noticed or cared, because she was kissing Sharon and she had wanted to kiss this fucking girl ever since she was fifteen, serving girl or not.

They broke apart moments later, and Sharon’s eyes were wide with surprise and confusion. A torrent of hateful thoughts began to flood her brain and Willam didn’t know what to do other than stare.

“I have to go.” She blurted out, her stomach jolting so horribly that she was sure she was going to vomit. As quick as she could she bolted away, leaving Sharon alone in the grass, certain she had ruined any kind of friendship they had managed to build up over the years. It had always been on tenterhooks and just as Sharon was at her most vulnerable, Willam had ruined everything with a kiss that she didn’t even want and that was it, friendship over, and every day for here out was going to be an utter nightmare all because Willam’s heart wouldn’t stop flipping and somersaulting at the thought of Sharon, all because her hands snaked south when she pictured Sharon as she had done in the barn, her breasts exposed and her skin shining with sweat, lying beneath her in Alaska’s position.

Everything, ruined, because of one stupid kiss.

God. Willam hated Sharon.

–

Twenty one. Six months passed, Willam turned twenty one, and Sharon was pretty much nowhere to be seen. Willam heard from another servant that she was taking some of the dirtier jobs, checking the dungeons and scrubbing the kitchen floors, so she wasn’t tending to Willam and helping her get dressed and making her laugh anymore.

It was official, Willam had ruined everything. The only time she saw Sharon was to spar with her, which they still did, but Sharon was nothing other than a teacher, harsh and ruthless and blunt, but never laughing, never smiling. She was closed off and distant and this, this must’ve been what heartbreak felt like because the pain in Willam’s chest never left. Their sparring conversations were brief but it was something, and Willam would do anything just to bring back their old laughter.

It was still agonising to spend so much time watching Sharon grow sweaty and breathless and to watch her muscles flexing as she demonstrated moves Willam could only hope of learning to do. Willam loved the tightness and the seriousness of her face as much as she loved when it was full of laughter and light, so at least she still had that to fall back on.

Loved. God, she had it bad.

It was January, a freezing cold winter, and Willam was winning a fight. Contrary to what she had expected, this victory didn’t make her feel good whatsoever. Sharon wasn’t even trying, and Willam understood that they weren’t on the best of terms right now, but this was just downright insulting. She didn’t need some stupid fake victory to boost her self-esteem.

“Fucking hell,” She swore, lunging at Sharon and cursing as she dodged poorly and ended up being struck squarely in the shoulder. “You’re seriously out of shape. I’ve barely even broken a sweat and you look like you’re about to pass out.”

She swept her leg in a smooth circle - a move that Sharon had spent weeks teaching her and had perfected the dodge for. Instead of leaping over it, which Willam knew Sharon was capable of, the strike threw her to the ground and knocked all the air out of her lungs. Willam was painfully reminded of when they had first met, at thirteen, and that image gripped at her heart. Instantly, she knelt beside Sharon, who hadn’t moved.

“I’m fine.” She croaked. “Out of practise.”

“Bullshit.” Willam swore again. “Someone like you doesn’t just get out of practise. Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Sharon denied vehemently. “Willam, I’m fine. You won, I’m proud of you.”

The fight had been more like a warmup than anything else, so Willam started to get concerned. Sharon’s face was pale and glistening with a sheen of sweat where, as she’d previously taunted, Willam’s was dry. Slightly worried, she pressed a hand to Sharon’s forehead and hissed.

“Jesus fuck, Sharon. You’re sick. Why the hell are you out here fighting with me if you’re sick?”

Sharon struggled to her feet, swaying slightly as though she were drunk. “I’m not sick.”

“Sure. I’m not a princess, either. Sharon Needles, you’re sick. Come with me, now.”

Before Sharon could protest, Willam held up a hand to silence her. “I hate to do this, Sharon, and you know it, but as a princess, I have a right to command you to do as I see fit, and right now I see it fit that you take my coat and put it on, and walk with me to the palace so that I can get you inside and get you warm. At no point during this will you protest against what I have told you. Understood?”

Sharon grumbled, and Willam raised an eyebrow.

Then she cracked a smile and started to lead Sharon back to the palace.

Neither of them talked about their interlocked fingers. Sharon was cold, and being cold was the worst for anyone who was sick. Willam was simply warming her up, preventing her from getting any sicker. Anyone would’ve done it.

Once they made it into Willam’s bedchambers, somehow miraculously unseen by anyone who would go tattling to a governess (which Willam didn’t need, being twenty one and no longer in need of an education, yet still had), she stripped away the coat and handed Sharon one of her silky nightgowns.

Sharon stared at her.

“Come on, bitch, I know you’re not stupid. This is a dress worn in bed. Put the damn thing on.” She watched Sharon expectantly.

“In front of you?” Her voice was thick, now, clear evidence that despite whatever she claimed, she was most definitely sick.

Willam shrugged. “You’ve dressed me hundreds of times, get your clothes off and get this on. I’m going to call on the kitchen real quick, when I get back you better have the dress on and be tucked in bed, got it? No complaints, hop to it.”

Sharon opened her mouth to protest, but judging by the sudden wince, her throat was too sore to say anything in response, and Willam darted out to speak to someone who could relay a message to the kitchen. She asked for hot soup and broth and tea and bread, trying to think of anything she could that might make Sharon feel better. Camomile went on the list, as did peppermint. Perhaps it was a little excessive, but Willam really, really cared about Sharon, and she knew winters could be cruel.

Her heart nearly melted when she re-entered the room, taking the tray from the young servant and opting to carry it in herself. Not only did Sharon look beyond beautiful in her dress, flattering her figure better than Willam had seen on anyone else, she looked ridiculously sweet and helpless in the middle of her huge bed, huddled beneath the layers of sheets.

Willam smiled tenderly, happy that the kitchen had honoured her strange request of a slightly damp, cold flannel to go with the assortment of teas and broths. She placed it on Sharon’s head to attempt to relieve her fever, ignoring her protests of how cold she was.

“I know, I know. I got sick last winter and it was horrible.” Willam told her, stroking her hair. “Here, have some of this tea. Drink it slowly, I think it will help.”

Having lost the energy to fight, Sharon just did as she was told. The tip of her nose had turned a rosy pink and Willam wanted nothing more than to kiss it.

“Sit with me.” Came her request, whispered so quietly and yet registering in Willam’s mind as though she had shouted it from the rooftops for the whole kingdom to hear. “Please.”

She was truly unable to say no. Without another thought, Willam slipped underneath the covers beside Sharon, who was absurdly warm and soft and jesus christ Willam had thought about this scenario so many times and it wasn’t happening how she had imagined it and yet still, somehow, Sharon was in her bed and she was a warm soft weight and really, what else mattered?

Sharon shuffled close and lay her head on Willam’s shoulder, and it was all she could do not to explode into a million tiny pieces.

“You know, I thought I had ruined everything when - when I kissed you.” She found herself saying, almost tripping over her words in her haste to get them out. “I ran because I was so sure you hated me for doing that to you, especially right after Alaska…”

She caught herself before things got too personal. “Then I hardly saw you and it just confirmed my fears and I’m so, so sorry. Sharon, I care about you way too much to hurt you like that, and it’s so confusing to me. Sometimes I swear I hate you just because I don’t understand why I like you so much.”

Sharon snuffled, nestling closer to Willam. “I thought you hated me.” Sharon replied sleepily, and somehow the proximity of their two bodies was right, as though two jigsaw pieces had perfectly slotted together. “I was scared to come by you in case… in case you didn’t want to see me.”

“I always want to see you.” Willam reassured her, and then bit her lip from how forward it was. “I mean… I never know what to say around you. I’ve never wanted anyone to like me so much in my life. Our friendship has always meant so much to me, and the thought of ruining it…”

“Liked it.” Sharon murmured, her words becoming more and more nonsensical as she drifted into a sleepy trance. “Liked when you kissed me… always been pretty…”

Willam chuckled softly, careful not to jostle Sharon too much. “You think I’m pretty?”

“Thank you for the tea… and the bed… and the cuddle��” Sharon told her, and it was so fucking sweet that Willam could’ve cried. “Love you…”

Willam kissed the tip of her nose. Sharon fell asleep in her arms and it was exactly where she was meant to be.

It was a weird relationship. All Willam knew was that she loved Sharon so, so fucking much.

[veliseraptor]

2018 Fanfiction Round-Up

Total Year-Long Wordcount: According to my spreadsheet, it’s 523,355 words, which does also include some essay writing and original fiction but is by and large fic.

This year I wrote and posted: Roughly, 119 fics? This is not, probably, a correct calculation, as it probably includes multiple chapters of Life in Reverse/Halfway House as separate fics, and the entirety of like the restless sea (not all of which I wrote this year), but I don’t feel like doing more math. It’s almost 12 pages on Tumblr.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? A little less than last year, but on the other hand...idk, I don’t tend to think about my year in terms of how much fic I’m writing while I’m in the middle of it. Honestly if I did I’d probably be a happier person who was less often like “OH NO I’M NOT WRITING ENOUGH.” That’s what’s nice about this meme - it really provides me with perspective.

So, like, technically I wrote less than I did last year, and that is not surprising considering the shape my life took this year (job meltdown, new job, three weeks of bedbug crisis), but...I still wrote a lot, especially with all of that considered, and wrote a lot better, I think.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? WELL I DIDN’T SEE MYSELF COMING BACK TO DOCTRINE OF LABYRINTHS IN FORCE BUT HERE I AM WITH FIVE NEW WIPS

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Man, I don’t know. There are a number of things that I’m pleased that I did for different reasons? Like, Will to Live feels like an accomplishment. But do I count finishing Life in Reverse for this year? Or the fact that I think Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains remains one of the better written things I’m putting out (also possibly the best title)?

Maybe I’ll settle with it’s the season of possible miracle cures because that fic has been six years in the making and I finally got Steve and Loki married and it was the sappiest thing ever and I stand by it. Also I made myself emotional while I was writing it, which is usually a good sign.

OH NO ACTUALLY how could I forget? I think it’s the enemy of my enemy. I’ve missed writing Clint and Loki, and that fic was so fun to write, and now I want a whole AU of it. I’m like. Deep into a second chapter and have no idea where it’s going but I’m going with it.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I sure did write a lot of second person. I feel like that doesn’t count as a risk per se, though, because every case where I did it...I did it because it felt like the story needed to be in that point of view? I mean, I wrestled with off to the races trying to write it in third person limited like usual and it just...really wanted to be in second person. So basically - does it count as a risk if it wasn’t something I chose to do?

Otherwise...I feel like I’m not a very adventurous writer most of the time. It’s one of the things I don’t love about myself as a writer.

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: Cutting out Life in Reverse and Halfway House, as fics that are ongoing and skew the scale significantly (especially the former): based on hits it was escalated almost to an art. Based on kudos, Reckless Self-Endangerment, and based on bookmarks the same. That...actually really surprises me.

Most fun story to write: Probably Will to Live. That fic...took me totally off guard and just - spilled out of me. It was a joy to write from basically start to finish, and other than a plot hole hiccup that was resolved with some invaluable beta help, really just...came together almost on its own. And it was, truly, so many things mashed together that I’m into. I haven’t ever written that much Thor POV, I don’t think, and that really caught me by surprise as far as how much I enjoyed it, too.

Story with the single sexiest moment: I feel like...hm. I’m not sure. I guess it depends on whether we’re going with “conventionally sexy” or “shit I shouldn’t be into this sexy” because those are two different answers. But I do feel like the sex in An Ever Expanding Circle is definitely up there.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: I’m still pretty sure nothing I do will ever live up to the bar set by The Vivisection Mambo, but...escalated almost to an art probably is up there. I mean, it was definitely the story where I was most “holy shit what am I doing” while I was writing it. Though making love with his ego was also pretty damn dark and also...had a much more downer ending than I was originally planning.

Actually, though, I feel like the worst is probably One Wrong Turn because of the set up (Remember This Cold AU) and where I went with it as far as breaking everyone involved (except, as usual, the Grandmaster).

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: uhhhhh. I always have a hard time with this question, because I don’t really know what it means? My perceptions of characters tend to shape how I write a fic, not so much the other way around. I guess maybe - oh, no, I’ve got it. It’s only one part in one story, but writing Shuri in Breathing Room gave me a better understanding of her character, I think, than I have before. Which is mostly down to @portraitoftheoddity​, so I don’t know if I can actually take credit for that.

Hardest story to write: God. So many stories are hard to write in so many ways. always ready for a war again was definitely a challenge, as writing stories from a different character POV usually are. I struggled a bizarre and moderately hilarious amount with how fluffy the wedding fic ended up getting; I thought I might be going too far. (That’s such a me thought to have.)

Oh - writing like 500 words of Mildmay’s POV was absolutely one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my writing career. And I’m going to keep doing it. Whoops.

Biggest Disappointment: Myself, for the fact that despite having 41 pages written, I’ve only managed to successfully post two chapters of Tear My Castle Down.

Biggest Surprise: Other than stumbling and falling face first back into writing for Doctrine of Labyrinths as a fandom? Possibly writing Crimson Peak fanfiction. I didn’t see that happening. Otherwise...the number of new kinks I wrote for reason of Frostmaster definitely caught me off guard.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I feel like everything I wrote for Loki/Grandmaster this year could be called “unintentionally telling.” It’s like...if you’ve been following me for the last few years, this might not have been something you were aware of, but hoo boy has it been there.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

Loki had a smile like an air raid siren: attention grabbing and screaming danger. (untitled)

His first memory was a silver mask with rectangles for eyes and mouth, looking down at him. “Attempt four-hundred and thirty-two,” it said, “success.” (how you gaze upon my bones)

When it was over, when all was said and done, the dust settled, the universe rebuilt, Steve walked away. (blackbird singing in the dead of night)

Away from Allerdale Hall, Lucille felt as though she’d disappear. (we too (three) could be glorious)

You were born with two names. (always ready for a war again)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

1. Loki slipped in and out of consciousness, clinging to life. Held back from the edge like he was a ship at anchor, wood groaning at the pull of the rope. He could almost see death, a reef where the waves broke, that he could break himself on. (your blood like ice)

2. The Void was not empty, as everyone had thought. The Void was full of monsters. One of them found Loki, and plucked his body out of space, and forced him back to life. He mended Loki’s fragmented consciousness with all the gentleness of a carpenter hammering together pieces of wood, and when he was a rough approximation of whole the being who had found him told him who he was, and what he wanted. (the years after the fall)

3. He pressed the thumb of his right hand into the palm of his left. The gesture felt familiar, and yet when he actually did it, strange. Someone else’s hands. Someone else’s lungs. (down to the bone)

4. Loki’s stomach sank. He recognized the feeling. It was the one that meant he was about to do something stupid because of Thor. He hadn’t felt it in a while, and he didn’t appreciate its return. (Captive Audience)

5. Your people bleed names. Names torn away by force, broken lineage, and even when you’re free the names you get aren’t really yours. I am N’Jadaka, son of N’Jobu, you said, and thought you were taking your birthright, but it wasn’t yours. You’re too much Erik Stevens, too much Killmonger, too much American. You don’t belong here. (always ready for a war again)

6. The Grandmaster did not just make his point (I own you, everything you are is mine to do with as I please). He hammered it home, wrote it in Loki’s flesh, crucified him with it. He pulled Loki apart, cooed over him and promised to put him back together only to break him down further into smaller and smaller pieces, and it occurred to Loki that up until now the Grandmaster had been merciful. (it’s a mean world that I’ve known)

7. As it was, even with the windows open he was still trapped within the confines of his skull - a far deadlier snare than even the cruelest jailor could devise. (Stitching)

8. “Getting yourself killed doesn’t prove anything,” Thor said, finally. Loki snorted.

“Wouldn’t it, though?” He said, eyebrows raised. “Everyone loves a good self-sacrifice. I wrote a whole play about it.”

Thor’s expression spasmed again. Still not amused. “I would rather have a living brother than a dead hero.” (Reckless Self-Endangerment)

9. In the winter, she thought distantly, they should go to the Alps. There, the snow would come down clean. (we too (three) could be glorious)

10. “I wonder,” he said, “if hounds hunt wolves with such alacrity, for envy of their freedom.” (Will to Live)

11. Loki's nostrils flared. "You say we," he said, "but I am not a participant in this. And you still do not understand. There is no making this better. This is what it is. My pain is part of its design, its purpose. And even if it were not, even if you somehow could prevent the binding from hurting me at all - it would still be a binding. You still own me. Coat that in honey as you will, but that will never be anything but wormwood." (Tear My Castle Down)

12. Thor. Even thinking the name was like a wound, so he held it there, letting it dig in. Could he, he would open his chest and carve Thor’s name on every one of his ribs. (half a league onward)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

The scene from making love with his ego where the Grandmaster loses his temper with Loki and flexes those cosmic powers.

The Steve/Loki wedding from it’s the season of possible miracle cures.

Thor and Loki cuddling in we don’t know where tomorrow ends or drown my woes in a lake of fire.

Any part of the Steve/Loki/Thor smut from An Ever Expanding Circle.

The scene from I am frail, be you forgiven with Loki holding Thor’s hands, one on his heart and one on his neck.

Fic-writing goals for 2019:

Well, last year I said my goal for 2018 was finishing Life in Reverse so I’d be like “goal for 2019: finishing Halfway House!” but that is just plain not realistic. So, uh, on the more realistic front:

write and finish the next Remember This Cold plot-fic

be less scared of self indulgence

write less fic and more original fiction

get another essay published on Tor.com

try to chill out and remember that if you take breaks it doesn’t mean you’re worthless

[bloomvalyria]

I am not trying to be mean of anything, just curious. Why do you like sparxshipping? Like I just don’t understand and want to know from your POV why!

12/30/18: Hey guys! I wanted to announce that I heavily edited bits of this to more accurately convey my points (especially with the age difference part because i don’t believe i worded that as eloquently as i should have). I would also just like to add that thisparticular post mainly involves my personal opinions about Sparxshipping. Thereare plenty of other Sparxshippers out there who might share the same opinionsas me or have their own differing opinions. I was simply asked about why I liked it; therefore, I answered.

Sparxshipping is a very delicate subject infandom. In fact, I would be so bold as to say it’s the most hated non-canonship in the Winx Club fandom. Therefore, if you’re a fan of it, chances are youdon’t talk about it much because you’re going to get shit on. And, clearly, Idon’t tag most of my Sparxshipping posts in the Winx Club tag due to the nasty response I’m sure to receive. But what the hell! I have a major migraine and I’m in the mood to piss some people off. I have some time to talk about a few points.

So, let’s talk about Sparxshipping, shall we?

For me, I like Sparxshipping for many reasons but mainly because of how well their personalities complement each other. And I’m not talking the good vs. evil bullshit either. What I am talking about is how there is no ‘one is one step behind the other’ situation –they’re equal. They’re equal in their wit; their determination; their initiative; their thirst for power; I could go on. It just makes them so much fun to write, especially because they’re so similar that no one can really ignore it. Hell, at the end of season 3, Baltor even admits that they’re the same (idk if he says that in the other versions; i didn’t watch them). So, seeing and realizing those same personalities traits that Bloom and Baltor share was just something i thought was, to be frank, really cute. It’s like they’re so similar they can’t stand it; it’s great. 

That’s personallyhow I view it. I could go more in-depth with it, but I know the majority ofpeople who are reading this that criticize Sparxshipping could not care lessabout personal opinions. They’re very set in their opinions, which they havethe right to have. Therefore, I’d like to take this time to address the typicalquestions that are bound to hit this post (‘Isn’the the villain?’ ‘He’s tried to murder her and her friends countless times!’‘He helped destroy her realm!’ ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ‘Isn’t he like 20-30-40years older than her?’ ‘That’s so gross!’) and do what I’m pretty sure no one else on this website has doneand actually respond to them.

So sit back andlet your ass be educated for a minute.

Now, I know the main thing for many people as to whythey don’t like Sparxshipping is because of one very sensitive topic: the agedifference. And my response to that is this: we as a fandom know little tonothing about Baltor. People automatically jump and say ‘Oh he’s like 20 years olderthan her, that’s disgusting!’. Okay, how do youknow that? Have we been given a birth year? No, we haven’t. We don’t even knowif he was born or if he was simply created into existence looking like he doesnow (which is my best guess). We don’t know. We know nothing about his past;therefore, to try and discern his age is pretty pointless. Most(including myself) have come to the conclusion that based on physical appearance alone hecould be anywhere from his mid twenties to early thirties. However, I wasreminded by an anon that he was around when Griffin was a teenager and he looksthe exact same. So the only way I can potentially describe the age situation isthat Baltor is the Edward Cullen of the Winx Club universe (And no, that is notme comparing the couples). Bella was 17, and Edward looked 17 but he wasactually over a hundred years old. So either he was poofed into existence to eternally look the same age, or when he decided to join the Ancestresses, he was ‘born’ into Darkness and it has prevented him from aging.

Plus, to go the extra mile, for those who keepyelling about how Bloom is supposedly underage, yes: the underage issue is abig thing that’s been talked about in the Sparxshipping community for a very long time. However, I know there are fanfic writers out there who do actuallybump up Bloom’s age for the purpose of avoiding this topic because this isfanfiction and you can do that. However, I’m fairly certain that in Season 3 Bloom is actually 18, or if she’s not she’s 18 in my eyes. (I know there is also a post somewhere on tumblr that actually broke down the ages of the girls to prove that Bloom isactually 18 in Season 3 to prove the underage issue null and void, and if I canfind that post again I’ll be sure to come back in and link it.)

Let’s move on, shall we?

As I’ve said,Sparxshipping is a much hated pairing. Mostwould pinpoint the origin of this hatred to the villain-hero trope that theship displays and that some people have an aversion to such a union. However,I’d pinpoint it even further beneath the surface all the way down to the nittygritty old FanFiction days. In these days, horrible (and I mean horrible) fic tropes came out to play –avery popular one being Stockholm Syndrome. And, unfortunately, for many Sparxshipping writers who came to the archive, we were in a sense brainwashed into thinking this was okay because these malicious tropes were being praised since it was quite literally all the archive had. No one was attempting to write the ship in a more flattering light, per se. So, if you’re an outsider looking in, you’re going to see some pretty fucked up shit going on if you go to some of the older fics and instantly be turned off from the ship. Nowadays though, there are Sparxshipping fics being filtered in that do not involve these tropes and are promoting a healthier relationship between the two. And if you haven’t read any of those, I highly recommend you do. 

’OH MY GOD HOW CAN YOU MAKE IT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?? HE HELPED MURDER HER PLANET AND HAS ATTACKED HER AND HER FRIENDS ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS! DID YOU FORGET THAT???’ Wow. Thank you. I never realized that that’s the reason why Bloom hated him so much. Thank you for opening my eyes. But, you know, there’s this magical thing about Sparxshipping that most critics seem to never have pointed out before that I’d like to ask them: When did we ever say that we’ve forgotten all the god-awful shit Baltor’s done? We’re very aware of what he did, guys. We watched the show just like all of you. We’re not excusing what he’s done, and in our writing now we don’t excuse what he’s done. There’s something in real-life relationships that many couples struggle with –it’s called forgiveness. And it’s very intricately woven into Sparxshipping. It’s so intricately woven, in fact, that when some writers attempt to write it, it doesn’t come across very well, making our ship look even worse. It’s definitely one of the more difficult aspects of writing this ship. But, as I previously stated, we’re not excusing it, and if you think we are then you couldn’t be more wrong.

Anyway, this post became much longer than I intended it to, and certainly not as articulate as I’d hoped. But I’m in agonizing pain, and I need sleep. Also, if anyone would like me to elaborate on any details in this, feel free to let me know! I always look in my inbox, and will answer you as soon as I possibly can!

Image: Zeta-La-Angie on VKText Added In by Me

[nattikay]

.

Just trying to sort out some thoughts, came here cuz not sure where else to do it. Might delete later.

So we’ve had Maisie for almost a week now an honestly, it’s...caused me a lot more stress than I’d expected it to. Don’t get me wrong, I like her, and I don’t plan to give her back to the shelter or anything, good gracious, no--but tbh I feel a little guilty for not being ~euphoric~ over the whole scenario, and I’m just trying to work out why.

Don’t worry she is being well taken care of! This is an emotional issue, not an ability-to-care-for issue.

I think some of it may have its roots in our old cat, Harry Pawter. We got Harry when I was around 9 years old and I loved him. However, being a child when we got him, I was never really super good at taking care of him; most of the animal care wound up falling on my parents. 

Harry, for the most part, was a pretty good cat most of his life, but he started developing health problems around his last two years or so. By this point I was in high school, and for all intents and purposes should’ve been old enough and responsible enough to step in and help take proper care of him. But by that point, I hadn’t really formed those habits and...I never really did. Not as much as I should have. And looking back...tbh I feel really bad about it, and wonder if I didn’t love him as much as I should have, or as much as I thought I did. My dad would certainly imply at much when he got frustrated with the cat, and that...kinda sunk its way into my brain, I guess.

I’ve mentioned before that we lost Harry my freshman year of college, my very first semester. But I haven’t told the whole story, because well...I feel really bad about it. But maybe it’ll be good to get it off my chest.

See, Harry’s health had been declining for a while at that point (he was now 9 years old btw). He was struggling to keep himself clean and having more and more accidents outside the litterbox. My dad took him to the vet, and the vet suspected he may have had a brain tumor. All this was happening recently after I started my first semester of college, so I wasn’t home at the time, only getting this info via phone calls. 

My dad didn’t want to pay for expensive tests and surgeries for a cat, so was considering putting him down. I was obviously not in favor of that idea, so we decided that we’d wait until I came home for Christmas and then discuss what to do about the Harry situation.

But we never got the chance. Around November, there was some sort of leak under the fridge or something (I don’t remember the details; again I wasn’t home at the time) and we had to get a lot of work done in there to fix it, which included having all the tiles completely removed and huge fans placed in the kitchen to blow away the ensuing dust. In order to keep Harry out of the way of the construction, we wound up regulating him to the screened-in back patio (and for further context: Harry had always been an indoor-only cat, and never showed much interest in going outside). Needless to say, on top of his health concerns, this construction and jarring change in environment was probably really stressful for him. One day, he found his way out of the patio...and never came back. 

We...don’t really know for sure what happened to him after that. I like to say that he passed away rather than ran away, partly because he didn’t really have great survival skills and between that and his already-present health issues, well...I don’t think he would’ve survived long as a stray, and I prefer to imagine that his suffering ended as quickly and painlessly as possible. Even if he did manage to survive for a while then, he’s almost certainly gone now, given that he’d be nearly 15 by this point...but I digress.

All that said...idk, I guess I never really got any proper closure with Harry. And the more I learn about how to properly care for a cat, especially doing all the research I’ve been doing for Maisie...well, the worse I feel for him.

It’s not that we were bad owners, per se, and we certainly weren’t malicious in any way...but man, we could’ve done so much better. Harry was definitely overfed and undergroomed and we didn’t really know how to deal with his issues later in life...again, we weren’t malicious, but I think we were ignorant. I can’t really blame myself in the early years given that I was a literal child but by the time I reached high school and the like...idk I just feel like I could have and should have done so much better. I wonder how many issues could’ve been resolved if we’d been more attentive, more vigilant. Had been willing to put in more effort than just “meh fill up his food bowl twice a day and have Dad change the litter once in a while”.

And with all that considered, well...let’s just say I have doubts as to my prowess as a cat guardian. I want to make sure what went wrong with Harry goes right with Maisie and I just...idk. It’s just been a lot more emotional pressure than I expected it to be, even more so considering I haven’t yet quite formed the emotional bond with Maisie that I felt with Harry (not that I necessarily should have expected to at this point, given that we’ve only had Maisie for less than a week whereas we had Harry for nine years). But still.

And I mean, it’s not like taking care of Maisie has been difficult from an objective standpoint. It boils down to just feeding her (and making sure it’s the right amount of food), cleaning her litterbox, and playing with her, all of which are pretty simple and straightforward (well actually trying to figure out the right amount of food for her age and size has been a bit of a chore but I digress). 

Again, it’s not the tasks themselves that are an issue...it’s, I guess, the emotional baggage, or something. Knowing that as my cat the responsibility rests squarely on my shoulders (as opposed to having Harry where my parents took up most of the tasks) probably contributes as well.

Probably doesn’t help that this was a rather sudden development as well. It was only a week ago that we even seriously entertained the possibility of getting a new cat, and now here we are. It all happened so fast, it...almost doesn’t seem real.

Then again, not much has been feeling “real” to me lately. But that’s a separate issue and one for my therapist. :P

I also, despite all objective evidence to the contrary, feel almost like I’m being a burden my bringing Maisie into the house. I know that I shouldn’t...it wasn’t even my idea. My brother made the suggestion, my mom endorsed it, my dad ultimately agreed. The whole family seems to like her, even my dad who is by far the least of a cat-person out of all of us has pet her and talked soft to her (I expected him to mostly ignore her).

But...well, ok, another (shorter) storytime. My parents, while they don’t dislike pets, have had enough of them to last their lives, especially after Harry’s troubled final years, which we kids (regrettably) did not do much to help with despite being older by then. About a year or two after we lost Harry, a family in our church was giving away a bunny for adoption after their two dogs didn’t take well to it. My sister, who has always loved bunnies, begged and begged and begged to adopt it, and after promising and promising to take care of it, my parents finally relented. Alas, the bunny did not wind up being as friendly and cuddly as my sister expected, and after a few weeks she lost interest in it, leaving the bulk of the care responsibilities to our youngest brother (who, to his credit, did pretty well...honestly he’s just pretty good with animals in general, of all types...dogs are his top preference but he’ll happily work with just about anything). Not long later, the poor bunny injured itself, and upon doing some research my parents found that bunnies rarely heal properly from that type of injury (I forget what it was exactly, again I was away in college at the time so don’t recall all the details) and that the most humane option was to put it down. We only had that bunny for a few months.

After that, my dad was (understandably) hesitant to bring another pet into the house, however hard we promise to care for it, cuz last time he relented he got burned and a poor bunny had to suffer. When he agreed to let us get a new cat, he included the (reasonable) stipulation that if it ever seems like we’re not taking proper care of kitty, he’s allowed to make the call to give her up back to the shelter.

Now, I have absolutely zero intentions of pulling a sister-and-the-bunny on Maisie, and I very much plan to take as good care of her as possible. But...you can see how there’s some emotional pressure there, yeah? ^^; 

I feel like I have to be an absolutely flawless owner else I’ve let everyone down and proven that my promises to care for her were just talk. I’m afraid people will get mad at Maisie for doing Cat Things and I’ll take the fall and it’ll be assumed I’m not taking proper care of her because I can’t train her well enough. I’m afraid any inconvenience that naturally comes from owning and animal will by default get pinned on me, that I’ll be at fault because I’m the one who technically owns her, I brought her into the house, were it not for me we wouldn’t be dealing with Animal Inconvenience. 

And yes I know that’s irrational...I know my brain is exaggerating and none of them really expect an 8 month old kitten to have flawless behavior or blame me for it and as long as I’m keeping her happy and healthy it’s fine...and yet...

I don't know.

Pressure, I guess. A big life change that happened pretty suddenly and it’s gonna take a little while for it to become the new normal...I’ve just gotta hang on until it does, I guess...

anyways...

R.I.P. Harry Pawter, 2005-2014

(last picture we ever got of him)

Maisie, I will do my best ;_;

(first picture I ever got of her...which, I am just now realizing, is similar to the last pic of Harry ;n;)

[nanigma]

hello i saw your recent post that said that ryoma has neglected takumi and sakura, and i definitely got that vibe but i was wondering when there are implicit mentions of that in-game. no shade at all intended, just curious,, have a good day!

Not really mentions per se, as I believe this part of Ryouma was not intentional of the writers. At least not when looking at how much Warriors and other spin-offs portray him as the perfect big bro.

(Warning: very long)

Mind you, I think he’s obliviously negligent and not maliciously so.

It’s still a vibe that is gotten when looking at how he acts in relation to his two youngest siblings across all three paths. There’s at least one incident in each of them where it just seems that Takumi and Sakura just… aren’t that high on his priority list:

Birthright: It’s stated that both he and Takumi fought together against the Nohrian army at the Bottomless Canyon. From how it’s described, it sounds like they lost sight of each other before there was a massive landslide that ended with Takumi dropping into the canyon and getting possessed. Now, let’s accept that Ryouma didn’t actually witness Takumi falling.. shouldn’t he still have been, idk, worried? They just lost a dangerous battle and he has no idea what happened to his youngest brother. But he doesn’t try checking up him.

Even if he thinks Cheve is too important for him to ignore, you would think he’d also send Kagero to find out what happened to Takumi? Be relieved when he sees him again? Anything? No, the plot just forgets it ever happened, which makes it seem like Ryouma also forgot his brother was with him in battle (or at least didn’t consider looking for him a priority. He’s fiiine, you’ll see… Right, totally fine.)

In chapter 16, when Takumi falls ill, it’s Sakura who rushed to his side and frantically tries to help him. Ryouma on the other hand, only enters the conversation a bit later and doesn’t come across as especially worried. (Hinoka is entirely absent from this chapter).

Conquest: Now this is trickier because it happens in an emotionally charged scene. When Ryouma is confronted for the final time in Shirasagi, he gets to hear the fate of all of his other siblings. Sakura is a prisoner of Nohr, Takumi is MIA, and considering how high the Wall of Susanoo is, pretty surely dead (Corrin only tells him they didn’t find a body later). He manages to take all this in without much of a reaction, and only flips out when he hears Corrin supposedly killed Hinoka.

Now this could be a case of the straw that broke the camel’s back, but… All he does is rage over Corrin killing Hinoka. While understandable, since it’s the only death he “knows” they are directly responsible for, he never mentions what happened to Takumi or Sakura. Heck, before Corrin specifies anything to him, he still only mentions wanting to be sent to Hinoka. This is writing from hindsight. The writer’s know Takumi is still around in some capacity, but Ryouma shouldn’t..  At least not before Corrin says they checked and didn‘t find a body. And, you know, a little word of concern about Sakura might have been appreciated..

It just really comes across that, even in his final moments, he has other priorities.

Revelations: Ah, the grand brawl between Nohr, Hoshido and Corrin’s forces in the Opera city. Such an emotionally tense scene as sibling clashes with sibling. Marx steels himself for fighting Camilla. Ryouma has a heartfelt confrontation with… his retainers. He has no conversation with his baby sibs, treating them like common enemies. I assume deadlines or oversight on this one, but it just feels so jarring.. Sure, he gets a line after the battle, asking them to promise they won’t get themselves killed. But with the way the scene is structured it almost feels like an afterthought. 

Overall it’s just all these incidents combined that just leave you with the impression that he doesn’t think much about Takumi and Sakura. If the intention is that Ryouma cares for all of his siblings equally, the writers really didn’t succeed at conveying it.

Then there are the supports:

Now the supports show he cares for his siblings a lot better than the story, still there’s something about them that bothers me.

In Ryouma’s support with Takumi, it’s obvious he knows about his younger brother’s feelings of inferiority. To help him, he finally offers him a place in Hoshido’s government, which helps Takumi’s self worth a ton by showing him that he’s valued in more ways than just one. Sadly, Ryouma never goes the whole way here and says what his brother really needs to hear. “Your family loves you just as you are.”. It’s a contrast to his supports with his sisters, where Ryouma actually does show them emotional affection. I guess it might be because Takumi is male… ?

Now his support with Sakura is just entirely sweet and there’s nothing big to criticize, except, well, why didn’t he tell her the story of her name before? Mikoto doesn’t seem to have been around for it, so he was the only one who could have told her. Sakura also acts more formal to him (in contrast to her immediately confiding in Takumi during their support), and doesn’t seem to be really at ease until the B-support. 

On that note, Takumi and Sakura’s issues with self-worth couldn’t have come from nowhere. Mikoto was a loving mother, but she’s only one woman, with the duties of a queen no less. Hinoka is explicitly stated to have been completely wrapped up in her training and Ryouma.. well he’s the crown prince. He had a lot of things to take care of too. He’s close with Hinoka, because of a similar age and he likely formed a bond with her before things went pear-shaped with Nohr, which gave him more pressure. Takumi and Sakura were likely very very young at that point, so he was more distant from them growing up.

It especially shows in Takumi’s competitveness. If we take the Drama CD as canon (since it doesn’t contradict anything), the neglect also explains how extreme some of his reactions to Corrin are. I mean he gets incredibly jealous when Ryouma gives their brother a pat on the head… If Ryouma gave Takumi those regularly, I don’t think he’d be that upset. Sorry, Takumi. Looks like your annual headpat just got cancelled…

Takumi thirsting for his older siblings’ affection and attention is canon. He wouldn’t need to do that if Ryouma (and Hinoka) actually gave him any of that.

[ladyknightliveblogs]

I was trying to stay off my computer, but still needed to liveblog, so have some more notes from my phone.

"for which Owen, a stolid man of the soil if ever there was one" listen, afaik moisture farmers don't really do much with soil per se? Do Earth epithet for farmers still apply on Tatooine?

Why does simply adding "unit" after "refrigerator" make it 99.99% more Sci-Fi?

"I don't think that man exists anymore. He died about the same time as your father." 1. You don’t THINK he exists but you know he died? Nice cover, Owen. 2. This line always punches me in the gut because from the same point of view that has Vader killing Anakin, this is also true: that Obi-Wan died with the rest of the Jedi, and that Ben took his place, sad and alone and careful and tired.

"...he scanned the rapidly darkening horizons for something small, metallic, three-legged, and out of its mechanical mind." Hey, you leave R2 alone, he's seen some Shit (tm). He’s allowed to be a lil crazy.

wtf tusken raiders are cyborgs? Wtf. Who knew.

"As [the raiders] traded vociferous opinions in a language consisting mostly of consonants..." idk I love this sentence look how absurd it is I LOVE IT

“[Each Bantha] was as large as a small dinosaur.” damn George, back at it again with those David Charleston metaphors.

“urged on by their anxious, equally outrageous mahouts.” There’s a lot going on here. One, the use of the word mahouts. Two, that George is calling the sandpeople and their banthas outrageous. Third, the use of the word mahouts.

Threepio calling Leia's hologram "melodramatic" like please...you're one to talk, buster.

survival school is a thing on Tatooine idk why I'm surprised. More amused really, tbh.

OMG LUKE BBY NO YOU CAN'T JUST FAINT IN FRONT OF THE TUSKEN PLS CHILD. Remember your survival school training that you had, come on kiddo. The raider didn't even hit him, he just keeled over. Like...pls son. Pls.

“A lost breeze idled absently down the canyon. Far off to the west, something howled. A rolling, booming drone ricocheted off canyon walls and crawled nervously up and down a gorgon scale.” Here he is, the love of my life, making the most DRAMATIC entrance POSSIBLE.

"It was tall but hardly monstrous." Well, I’m glad Obi-Wan isn’t monstrous, that’s nice to be assured of.

"Hints of extreme climates other than desert, of ultimate cold and humidity, were etched into that seemed face.” Alright, y’all can stop complaining that he looked “””too old””” in comparison to Bail Organa in Rogue One, this boy has been through Some Shit (tm) while Bail was busy Senatoring comfortably, so listen. 

“A questing beak of nose, like a high rock, protruded outward from a flash-flood of wrinkles and scars. The eyes bordering it were a liquid crystal-azure. The man smiled through sand and dust and beard, squinting at the sight of [Luke].” I cannot believe. I love him so much. I love that he has a giant Merriman nose and a Belgarath beard. I love him. I love him so much.

Artoo "conveniently forgetting" he also was scared by the roaring pls child.

"A smile of perverse youthfulness split that collage of wrinkled skin and beard." I love that every smile so far has been "boyish" or young in some way because he's not a fucking old as balls dude, right? He's like...50? But weather happened and he looks ancient but he's not he's wonderful listen, I love him.

"can't seem to remember owning a droid" what did R4 do to you, Obi-wan, that you so easily forgot him? Heheh. Also, just like...no one wiped Artoo's memory, shouldn't he know Obi-wan? Or be able to tell him "yo you gave me to Bail after Anakin self-destructed what up old buddy"? And tbh, you'd think Obi-wan would remember such a vital friend and droid as Artoo. @Lucas, sort this out.

Unless he's just pretending not to remember because he doesn't want Luke knowing?

Its a fucking dragon call Obi-wan PLS “It’s not too hard. Just takes the right attitude, a set of well-used vocal chords, and a lot of wind. Now, if you were an imperial bureaucrat, I could teach you right off.” OBI-WAN PLS CALM YOUR SASS I CANNOT HANDLE THIS?? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH?? HELP ME?

Luke is disappointed in 3PO because he's "defeatist" bby good luck curing him of that programming...

"I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person. My mission to meet personally has failed." Thanks for telling us twice,  Lucas. God, he needs a good editor.

"Do no fail us, Obi-wan Kenobi. Do not fail me." Wow okay, that's a little demanding there, Leia, it's not like you know each other well? Was this to get across the commanding 'princess' part of the character?

Though I will say her confidence that the Empire would capture her but get nothing out of her is amazing and painful, like, she KNOWS they are going to torture her, she KNOWS and she's not scared. She's just...going to handle it. Because she needs to. And that's. ..so much.

"You fought in the Clone Wars!? But that was so long ago!" "Um, yes," Kenobi acknowledged [...] "I guess it was a while back." THIS JOKER PLS like Luke just called him old as balls and he's like "yeah sure buddy" god I love him

"What's a duck?" GOOD LORD, SMOL DESERT SON, PLS.

Lucas is really down on this...the Emperor was corrupted not the corrupting force. Which is weird, like....everyone knows the emperor is evil this was never in question at any point in any of the movies...

Oh no, never mind, I read that wrong. To help the corrupt emperor not to help corrupt the emperor, my bad. Okay but still.

"Early man suspected its existence, yet remained in ignorance of its potential for millennia.” Okay, but if you think about us, the present, as ‘early man’ that's making it sound like this is future fantasy which is hilarious to me because “a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.”

"The old man suppressed a smile, aware that Luke’s destiny had already been determined for him. [...] Likely it had finalized even before the boy was born. Not that Ben believed in predestination, but he did believe in heredity--and in the Force.” I mean. Is it destiny then, or is it you, Obi-wan? You’re the one guiding him onto this path, does that not make it partially your fault?

OH MY FUCKING GOD LUKE JUST... OKAY. GUYS. I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A REALLY INCONGRUOUS PAGE BREAK/SCENE CHANGE, BUT WE GO FROM OBI-WAN TELLING LUKE THAT HE MUST DO WHAT HE FEELS RIGHT AND LUKE GOING “Right now I don’t feel too good...” TO LEIA GETTING FUCKING TORTURED BY VADER IN HER PRISON CELL. PLS.

TELL ME AGAIN THESE TWIN BABIES DON’T HAVE A FUCKING FORCE CONNECTION FUCK

"The metal door which began moving aside was as thick as her body--as if, she mused bitterly, they were afraid she might break through anything less massive with her bare hands." Pls, Leia, they have a right to worry about that. You are Strong.

"gliding smoothly, as if on treads" space heelys #confirmed for Vader