#i guess i just want a wee bit more autonomy

[born2b-beheaded]

you have a beautiful life ahead of you

I know, and I know it Will get better. It just feels soooo repetitive right now :// sigh. I dunno. All I really know is that I'm looking forward to the day things change. I dunno when that will be, but things Will change. And if it takes until I'm an adult, then so be it. It's only 3 years, really; and these past 15 have absolutely flown by.

[kentuckycaverats]

being emo about what a difference del's made in my life, word vomit below the cut so i don't clog the dash.

i've talked about this a wee bit on here, but after my first couple of years getting into ttrpgs i realized that i kept accidentally putting pieces of my soul into my pcs and having surprise Realizations over the course of the game(s), so i decided to start doing it on purpose

i built del very intentionally to have like, all of my childhood-adolescent trauma. the details are all greatly exaggerated but are rooted in the same feelings: not being allowed to have boundaries, not being allowed to make my own choices, being denied autonomy, being openly gay and trans in a conservative christian town, intimate partner abuse, suicidality. the fujinamis are (very loosely) based on my own parents and the tsugas are the parents i wish i'd had. sabina is not-so-loosely based on my abusive ex

but del is unlike me in every other way. she can stand up for herself, she can set and enforce boundaries, she's strong-willed and physically capable, afraid of nothing, and genuinely can't be fucked to care what anyone thinks of her. traits that i don't have but desperately wish that i did. i figured that if i could develop and play a character who emulates those things, then hey, look, those exist in me too, because del can't exist without me. my therapist has been a huge proponent of this and has helped me to utilize del as a therapeutic tool, and boyyyy has it worked. with the combination of EMDR + delphine, i've made crazy progress just in this last year

last night my partner and i were talking to his best friend and ended up on the topic of first relationships, and she wanted to know about my abusive ex. and like. she's haunted me for over a decade. it used to be that i couldn't think or talk about what she did to me without violently dissociating and triggering nightmares about her. but it doesn't hurt me to talk about anymore? she sucks ass and she's the worst person i ever met in my life, but i'm not afraid of her anymore. and i credit like 50% of that to therapy/EMDR and the other half to del game

because del has gotten to face and defeat sabina twice: first in backstory, in which del diablerized her and ended up with sabina's consciousness kicking around in her head, then again with tara and the coterie by her side as she killed her for good. when we were going into that session my therapist had a hunch that being rid of sabina in-game would help me get past the last big block from my own abuser, and she was right. i didn't notice it right away, but even when she does show up in my dreams (and she did last night, like she usually does when i talk about her) they aren't nightmares anymore. she's there and i'm annoyed mostly, but not afraid. i can tell her no and tell her to fuck off and instead of the big looming figure she used to be in my brain she's just a pathetic asshole who can't reach me anymore

my therapist says all the time that the brain processes fiction and reality the same way, emotionally-speaking, and we joke about ttrpg as group therapy but it really has been. and so much of that credit goes to our st who's (1) brilliant (2) so cognizant of telling trauma stories in a safe and respectful way and (3) has a window into my soul i guess?? he knows i'm plural but the del/aelsidhe arc was a complete surprise to me, and oddly enough comes like, scary close to paralleling the relationship between myself (del as proxy) and the host before me (aelsidhe as proxy) who i was supposed to protect from our ex. i couldn't have come up with a more fitting arc for del if i'd tried

anyway. tl;dr - healing is stored in the fighty little cockroach lesbian and she will always be so so special to me

[666writingcafe]

Belphegor

Author's Note: The setting for this is different than the one in game, because frankly I didn't like the whole "Beel and MC kiss in front of a sleeping Belphie" thing.

"MC, do you have feelings for Beel?" Belphie asks. We're currently sitting next to each other in the planetarium, looking up at the stars.

"What?" I ask. I don't know what prompted him to ask that question. We were content in silence a few moments ago.

"Answer the question."

"Yes." I'm surprised at how quickly I respond. Belphie smiles.

"That explains what I've been hearing. I've got to say, you got good taste."

"Before we go any further, what exactly have you been hearing?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that you've hooked up with him a few times."

"We only made out."

"I'm not upset, if that's what you're worried about. Frankly, I'm really impressed that you can see how special Beel is. That's part of why I like you so much."

"Is this the same person that tried to kill me?" Belphie laughs.

"It seems strange, doesn't it?"

"Just a wee bit, yeah." Belphie grows serious.

"I've liked you for a while, MC."

"You have?" He nods his head.

"Something shifted in that game you were forced to play."

"Dogi Maji Memorium?"

"I guess. I don't remember seeing a title card. I just poofed into existence. However, I'm able to recall a particular conversation we had. It was after you rejected Levi."

"When you got upset that he made a pact with me without my permission."

"Exactly. Like you, I was surprised that I reacted that way. Demons force humans into pacts all the time, so why was this any different?" He pauses. "I reflected on this for a while. At first, I refused to believe that I cared for your wellbeing. After all, if I did, I wouldn't have possessed you. However, when I was being questioned by Lord Diavolo about my escape, it suddenly hit me: I had come to admire you."

"But I was trying to push back against you at every opportunity."

"Exactly. I realized that we had a common desire to not be controlled by other people. We both want to be the masters of our own destiny. We want to make our own choices, even if it seems reckless to everyone else." Belphie sighs.

"I don't regret having you help me escape the attic, but I went about it the wrong way. Lucifer took away my autonomy, and in retaliation, I ended up taking away yours. For that, I am deeply sorry. I don't expect you to forget what I've done to you." I reposition myself so that I'm in front of Belphie.

"What are you doing?" he asks. My answer comes in the form of a hug. After a moment of hesitation, he wraps his arms around me.

"You're quite cruel," he states once we pull away.

"How so?"

"You're really going to leave me with this final memory of you stuck in my head."

"First of all, I don't have a choice. I have to return to the human world. Secondly, what's wrong with a hug?"

"There's a part of me that wishes that you had kissed me instead."

"Belphie--"

"I know, it's too much for me to expect from you right now. I mean that sincerely; I don't want to force you to something you aren't ready for."

"I appreciate the sentiment. To be honest, I'm a bit torn myself. I've come to really like you as a person over the last few months. If it weren't for how our relationship began, I would say that things would have naturally progressed to us dating. However, those initial feelings still linger inside of me. I wish I could get over it more quickly, but I can't."

"I understand." He sighs. "Someday, when you are comfortable enough, I want to leave you with a memory so vivid and lasting that no matter where you may go or how much time passes, I'll always be stuck right there in your head." He stops talking, seemingly waiting for some sort of reaction.

"In a way, you already are," I tell him. "You're the only being that has spent any significant time inside my head. You probably know me more intimately than anyone else." Whatever moment Belphie and I had is ruined by the sound of the door slamming against the wall.

"IT'S PARTY TIME!" Mammon yells.

"No, the fuck it's not," Belphie and I reply at the same time.

"Well, someone's got to celebrate MC's last night here in the Devildom!"

[waynes-multiverse]

I-I-I-... I laughed sooooo hard about that whole blindworm bit 🤣🤣🤣 My stomach was legit in stitches. Pretty sure Baby W thought it experienced its first earthquake 😂 Anyways, you wanna talk blindworms? Let’s do this and be super weird about it!

I guess that whole snake vs blindworm comparison is one of those “autobiographical references” authors fancy themselves with. If this were an interview, I’d tell you that snakes, especially the poisonous, bitey kind, scared the shit outta me since I was a little kid because my dad used to tell me spooky stories about them stealing toys. I might have believed those till I was a teenager and asked if if was true, and he started laughing very hard. That’s when I realized he’s an asshole. That snake story was my personal Santa, you might say 😅🙈 Anyways, there were also a lot of blindworms in our region, so on our nature hikes, I’d always jump back and shriek when I saw one until my dad reminded me it’s just a “harmless lizard.” And they actually have teeth! Me writing “toothless blindworm” was just me being extra mean 😝 And it’s not that blindworms aren’t good at surving in the wild and competing with their peers, but they’re still pretty harmless to humans compared to a rattlesnake like Homelander, you know? Not to mention, blindworm Ben would definitely suffer more than a little scratch on his cheek these days if he ever tried to fight a snake again, even though he’s still a strong and fairly big guy, but it’s still easy enough to break him with laser eyes or, you know, a gun...

Now on to these facts and how they fit the story: “biting and wrestling when competing against other males for mates” – Yup, that one checks out. Ben definitely hasn’t lost his bite, especially in competitive situations 😉 “When mating, the female is bitten in the head or neck region” – Hmmm, like amphibian A/B/O? 👀 “Copulation can take several hours” – Oh, he wishes! That one is actually hilarious 😂 “Sometimes females mate with other males later” – Well, reader definitely gets around in that clinic. See above fighting behavior between males for mates for more clues 😆 The two hemipenes and cloaca was probably the death of me, tough! This time it was me that woke the corgi who strutted away, grumbling 😂

Damnit, Rory - stop humming Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab” - wrong song!

I mean, I’ve certainly been there while writing this series... I get it, Rory 🖤 Although the correct song is definitely good! One line in particular always stood out to me: “If I'm a monster then it's 'cause you made 'im” Pretty fitting for SB!

The reader came willingly?

Yup! The idea for her powers came from the second episode of Diabolical actually. It was about some supes also getting a lot of stupid and useless powers (kinda like Hughie or Love Sausage) 😂 Here’s some info on that:

That made me realize that there’s probably tons of people with shit powers out there. After all, not everyone becomes a supe and makes it into the Seven! And while reader’s powers weren’t that stupid, they weren’t that useful either. In fact, she struggled with hurting other people, so no wonder she wanted them gone (like that blonde girl from Yellow Eyes’s psychic kids that accidentally made people’s hearts stop).

They’re not big on nicely-phrased requests, kindness, consent, bodily autonomy…not much of anything save doing things their way, actually

Oh yes! I’d buy that in a second! Was a wee bit obsessed with the MK Ultra project once. That one still blows my mind. Like they did what?!?!? 👀 (PS: Are we allowed to talk about the CIA so openly or should we expect to get murdered now? Hey peeps from the CIA, thanks for reading! 👋)

So she’s a patient, and she gets a gun?

She’s special 🖤 She enjoys a lot of privileges that the others don’t. Technically, she’s not really a patient anymore but also still is a patient. It’s complicated 😜

Pretty sure that comment turned out longer than the prologue, but oh well! I blame you for making me talk about blindworms! 😂 Thanks for reading, love! It was a pleasure like always ❤️

Rehab – Prologue

Series Summary: Thanks to Soldier Boy, the CIA was able to develop Project Bloom under the fierce leadership of Grace Mallory: a final cure to Compound V and a hopeful end to the supe epidemic three years after the explosive incident at Vought. A secret rehab facility in Upstate New York is supposed to help former heroes find their way back to humanity. The catch, though? Soldier Boy has never fucking agreed to any of this shit and is surely not happy about being powerless for the first time in his goddamn long life.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, language, general angst

Word Count: 778

A/N: Welcome, friends! I’ve missed writing for Soldier Boy, and I’m so happy to have this dirty, ol’ gramps back. Be aware, tho, that some topics are of a darker nature and it doesn’t necessarily have the happy ending y’all are imagining 😉 That being said, enjoy this prologue and lemme know if you wanna be on the series tag list for this story!

Feedback is my fuel 🖤

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist

Prologue: rehab

“How are his latest test results?”

“Looking good, ma’am. His body is behaving exactly like we wanted it to. The Compound V is gone from his system after the third dose, and he’s recovering as expected. His vitals look very promising.”

Keep reading

[fleabaged]

I feel like I’m the only one that’s really fucking enjoying this season and it’s kinda disheartening tbh, I totally understand being pissed at how little of eve we’ve gotten but really that’s my only negative for this season? I don’t see Villanelle acting OOC at all, I feel like the whole reason for ep5 was to show that Villanelle is really at a turning point in her life emotionally, I think the biggest problem is that there just aren’t enough episodes per season to get it all in succinctly

DEF have always thought they needed 10 episodes!!

I love that you’re really fucking enjoying this season. Fuck yeha!!  I think I was just a little shocked last night coming from a Villanelle stand alone episode where there is no Eve, to only seeing Eve for 11 minutes, I saw that totaled somewhere- I was genuinely What The Hell???

Yeah this is def a turning point for Villanelle and her character. My guess is that they didn’t want to tire audiences with the same ol fanfare- and wanted to truly do something big to get her character emotionally someplace else. I’m hoping it manifests in last two episodes of her reclaiming autonomy, cuz I think we got the breakdowns on lock now for the season ;)

they made a Choice this season to level the supporting cast to the leads and give separate storylines where their relationship is not the main focus , and it’s def an adjustment - but liek...,,, jodie comer and sandra oh are still hot af ya know so like im going to at least enjoy the hell out of that lmao, and i def enjoyed parts of every episode but last night was a wee bit wild... apologies that my blog is a Literal Bit of A Shit Storm of opinions right now but please enjoy the eps for yourself there’s many parts i love too im hoping to ya know make more posts about that, too :)

[andrewuttaro]

Catechetical Cat (Week 34) Silence

Silence is the cross on which we must crucify our ego.

St. Seraphim of Sarov

In my college years I knew a classmate of mine who was recovering. He was not recovering from alcoholism or drug addiction or from any other physical substance. He would say he was recovering from anger. If you met this guy when I did you would have never guessed he had a phase where he got into fist fights. Apparently he was quite combative in his High School years, and he credited exceptionally patient teachers for the fact that he even graduated at all. He found himself studying religion with myself at our alma mater for two main reasons. For one, his family had a connection to this college which was near where he grew up. Secondly and more importantly, he had made a decision at his graduation that he would become the master of his own soul. This was his way of promising himself he’d control his anger and do so by building himself up in “beautiful things” that he found enriching and edifying in life. One of those things was his Catholic faith.

Not only were him and I both in the religious studies program in college but we both often went on retreats and what not with Campus Ministry. Some of our heady conversations on those retreats would extend into the wee hours of the morning. But these weren’t purely intellectual conversations about the historical critical method or pseudepigrapha. He had his background, and I was conversely blessed with an upbringing where I was not only taught not to physically fight but had a bit of aversion to confrontation in general. You can imagine we had some yin and yang energy going on too. The overlaps between psychology and our faith fascinated us and the more he learned the more he wanted to pray. It was a virtuous cycle I hope I have replicated in myself.

My classmate and I are no longer in touch. We didn’t have a falling out or anything, we just went in different directions after college. He went to a monastery out west to become a monk. The contemplation of truth that led to prayer and back around again became his joy in life and I think its safe to say he did keep his promise to himself to find internal control and build himself up in “beautiful things”. That internal peace he found was silence. The silence of prayer, yes, but also that same place Siddhartha Gautama (AKA the Buddha) and many other religious seekers found throughout history. It is so easy for our own selves, the preservation and full validation of ourselves, to become our greatest distraction. The world around us, chaotic though it maybe, can be shutout. We’re always with ourselves and that is where the loudest noise comes from. Once we can learn the self-control many religious leaders and modern self-improvement gurus mention we discover our own autonomy: the eternal part within some of us call our soul. It’s in the silence of that place we can more easily recover from our ills or at least figure out what they truly are. It is also here where the truest encounters with the divine are found: where our ego is crucified long enough for our ears to be opened to a broader reality than what drives us to anger.

[nameless-maiden]

Friends! Who’s looking for a side hustle??

About 6 months ago I started working for VIPKID. In case you haven’t heard of it, VIPKID is a long distance English tutoring service for kids in China. It’s been rated as one of the top 100 work-at-home companies, it’s super fun, and quite lucrative.

Quick run down:

You teach cute kids in China how to speak English using a combination of props, pre-loaded PowerPoint presentations, and a whole lot of smiling. You have a ton of work autonomy, you decide how much you work, and there are many monetary incentives. The amount of money you make varies depending on the type of class and amount of teaching experience you have, but I made an average of $20/hr during my first month (and you can expect to be somewhere in the $18-$22 range at first as well). If your student doesn’t show up for their class, guess what! You still get paid. I have gotten paid for hours of reading, searching the internet, and watching Netflix, because of student no shows. 

Real talk:

Working for VIPKID requires a bachelor’s degree so this won’t work for anyone still in undergrad, but it’s perfect for those in that sometimes overwhelming “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life” stage post-college. 

The application process is a little bit of a pain in the neck. You do have to prepare and do some super awkward mock classes with a full grown adult playing the student. However, you can get through the whole process in a week if you really want. (And, if you use my referral code, I’d be happy coach you through the whole thing)

Peak hours for class bookings are not ideal. The busiest times for classes are in the wee hours of the morning and on weekends. Therefore, this is a good opportunity if you are busy during the day and you are willing to get up early a couple days a week or sacrifice a weekend every month for some extra ca$h. 

Incentives:

Like I said, VIPKID offers mad monetary incentives. You make an extra dollar on every class just for showing up on time! If you teach a trial class and the student signs up afterwards BOOM! extra $5 in your pocket. If you teach at least 45 classes in a month (classes run for 25 min. each), you make an extra $1 for every single class taught that month. VIPKID consistently runs “Gold Rush Incentives” where you are given an individual challenge that will earn you extra money if you complete it. Aaaaaaaaannnd *drum roll*

The Referral Incentive! If you refer someone and they successfully become a VIPKID teacher then you earn an extra $100, which is why I am taking time away from the Stephen King novel I am currently reading to tell you about all this.

I’m not scammin’. Cross my heart hope to die. And I would not endorse a company that I did not legitimately enjoy working for. I’m a recently graduated Master’s student with a ton of student debt that genuinely loves this job and would genuinely love making more money. If you use my referral code when signing up I would be happy to answer any of your questions and coach you through the process of becoming a teacher as much as possible, just DM me baby!

Link: https://t.vipkid.com.cn/?refereeId=6484261&refersourceid=a01

Referral Code: 03UZAD

Thanks for taking the time to stop and read this. Use the referral link above to start your VIPKID application process today!

Or don’t. I’m not your boss.

*kisses*

- Corrie

[arthistorybabes]

Art History Babes Nation! Into Making Extra $$$ Teaching from Home???

Sorry I couldn’t think of a subject line that sounded less scammy but this is 100%-legit-not-a-scam. You do not have to spend money at any point and I’m not trying to trick you into anything.

Now that that’s out of the way.

A couple of months ago I started working for VIPKID. In case you have not heard of it, VIPKID is a long distance English tutoring service for kids in China. It’s been rated as one of the top 100 work-at-home companies, it’s super fun, and quite lucrative.

Quick run down:

You teach cute kids in China how to speak English using a combination of props, pre-loaded PowerPoint presentations, and a whole lot of smiling. You have a ton of work autonomy, you decide how much you work, and there are a many monetary incentives. The amount of money you make varies depending on the type of class and amount of teaching experience you have, but I made an average of $20/hr during my first month (and you can expect to be somewhere in the $18-$22 range at first as well). If your student doesn’t show up for their class, guess what! You still get paid. I have gotten paid for hours of reading, searching the internet, and watching Netflix, because of student no shows.

Real talk:

The application process is a little bit of a pain in the neck. You do have to prepare and do some super awkward mock classes with a full grown adult playing the student. However, you can get through the whole process in a week if you really want.

Peak hours for class bookings are not ideal. The busiest times for classes are in the wee hours of the morning and on weekends. Therefore, this is a good opportunity if you work a 9 to 5 and you are willing to get up early a couple days a week or sacrifice a weekend every month for some extra ca$h.

Incentives:

Like I said, VIPKID offers mad monetary incentives. If you teach a trial class and the student signs up afterwards BOOM! extra $5 in your pocket. If you teach at least 45 classes in a month (classes run for 25 min. each), you make an extra $1 for every single class taught that month. VIPKID consistently runs “Gold Rush Incentives” where you are given an individual challenge that will earn you extra money if you complete it. Aaaaaaaaannnd *drum roll*

The Referral Incentive! If you refer someone and they successfully become a VIPKID teacher then you earn an extra $80 - $100, which is why I am taking time away from the Stephen King novel I am currently reading to tell you about all this.

As I said, I’m not a scammer. I’m a recently graduated Master’s student with a ton of student debt that genuinely enjoys working for VIPKID and would genuinely enjoy making a bit more money. If you use my referral code when signing up I would be happy to answer any of your questions and coach you through the process of becoming a teacher as much as possible, just DM me baby!

Link: https://t.vipkid.com.cn/?refereeId=6484261&refersourceid=a01

Referral Code: 03UZAD

Thanks for taking the time to stop and read this. Use the referral link above to start your VIPKID application process today!

Or don’t. I’m not your boss. 

*kisses*

- Corrie

[semi-anonyme]

June 18, 2020

12:00am

I remember I was reading reddit the other day. Randomly Arnold Schwarzenegger is also active on reddit. Someone asked him something like, “you know, I like working out when I do it, but I often feel tired and I wonder where I really should”. Arnold responded something like, “you don’t ask yourself if you feel like it, you just do it. There were times I really didn’t feel like going to the gym, but it wasn’t a matter of if I wanted to I just did it”.

Yeah, Mr. Universe, Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger himself, didn’t feel like working out sometimes.

I’ve mentioned this before, I like my job, but I really want to build my own shit. It’s going to take a lot of time trying to balance work, family and friends, the development of my artistic expressions. But at this point, I mean, it’s not a decision. If I’m working late and it’s 9:00pm and I got 30 minutes of work in me, then fit in those 30, fit in 45, fit in an hour.

^This is the beginning of my websocket code for connecting my frontend app to my backend app. It’s ugly as sin and broken as hell but I’m a little bit closer than I was an hour ago. I really didn’t feel like working today since I got done with work real late, but I fit in 30 minutes, and that’s good. I wrote the other day a thought I didn’t get to expand on, but it’s funny when you just have something calling you. I’m not sure if this project is going to take me 100 hours or 200 hours. I’m not sure if the big one I have after that is going to take me an additional 500 hours. But I gotta be cool fitting in 30 here, 30 there. You gotta throw money into the piggy bank, you know.

I also fit in 40 minutes on piano today, too. This walking bass line exercise, I’m going to be working on this shit for a while particularly because my left/right hand independence is non-existent.

Again, as mentioned the other day, sometimes I start questioning things like, what the fuck am I doing. Make my money get a cute girlfriend who makes me laugh and balances me out and have kids and renovate a bungalow in Nashville, or some shit. But what am I going to do at the end of the day? Go on dating apps and try to build a profile that represents myself as someone who has it all together? Not to say I don’t want to be in a relationship. I literally wrote in my self-affirmations, “I am ready to be in a relationship”. Whoever I end up meeting, it has to be organically I guess.

Balance, balance, balance.

I’m imagining a beautiful sun drenched apartment.

Porto? Sevilla?

Writing code or composing beats in the evening as my girl works on her own projects. We watch a cheesy K-Drama, cuddle, don’t set an alarm because the sun will wake us up anyway.

Belgrade? Split? Only for the summer.

Autonomy, autonomy.

What can possibly be more exciting than living an honest life?

København? Moscow?

Life doesn’t have to be as it is, but you also must love it the whole way through.

Some of my favorite artists had regular day jobs. Murakami wrote his first book in the wee hours about an hour or two at a time after closing up his jazz bar. I can write code and practice piano at the end of my days, too. I just have to look at it as something I’m doing in addition to living, not the thing I must do before I start living.

I’ve got a couple of drafts. An episode of Killing Eve, wake up, go on a walk and dance a little, talk to my therapist, finish these tickets by tomorrow’s deadline.

[distant-rose-archive-blog]

I just wanted you to know that I just read all of the Little Pirates series this weekend and I am so, so, so in love with your Jones children. They feel like real honest to god kids with actual personalities rather than carbon copies of their parents. Beth is a riot and I'm trash for her and Killian's relationship. I have a few questions for you though. 1. How did you come up with the characters of Harrison, Wes, Beth and Neddy? They're amazing but they don't feel like Sues. (1/?)

I feel like that’s always a challenge in fanfiction writing with original characters. 2. Are you ever going to write a multi-chapter story for the kids or just continue just writing snippets of their lives as you are now? Because I would honest read the heck out of anything story you write for them. No pressure! 3. How many Little Pirates one-shots do you plan on writing and are you willing to write anything for Captain Swan that isn’t a part of the series? (2/3) Regardless of your answer, I will always read whatever you write. 4. You reblog a lot of Captain Swan stuff, which I appreciate, but are you going to watch Season Seven and do you think Season Seven will affect the Little Pirates series especially if it’s revealed that Killian and Emma have a child in the canon? You’ve kinda been quiet on that. (3/3)

As I have not updated all weekend since I was in my cousin’s wedding, I wasn’t expecting anything in my inbox this morning. I was pleasantly surprised and a bit overwhelmed when I checked into my tumblr this morning while I was having my coffee. I’m a wee bit hungover from yesterday.

I’m glad you like Little Pirates. I personally love writing the Killian-Beth dynamic as well since a lot of it is based upon my relationship with my own father. So, I love writing them. I love writing them all really, hence why I do it in the first place. 

I honestly feel like I’m being interviewed with the amount of questions you have, which I’m both flattered and overwhelmed by. I will try to answer them as best as I can. I apologize for the really long-winded answers, which is why I’m putting a “read more” here because it’s just a bloody essay.

1. It’s kinda hard to describe my character development/creation, but I’m generally struck with ideas of personalities while I’m doing something and I work from there. Beth came to me first. I just thought of someone who was super cheeky, super blunt and incredibly impulsive. Wes came to me originally as a rebel without a cause kind of guy who loves music more than people (this is still true) and Harrison was always just this haggard older sibling who feels the need to protect and keep the younger ones out of trouble, which ages him like a few good years. Neddy was late to the game. He was originally this quiet imp, but over time, he’s become much more thoughtful and sweet, but very secretive because he never wants to upset anyone. He’s aware he’s babied and wishes they would just stop. 

My key to making them not Sue-ish, I guess, is the fact I don’t view them as anyone I would want to be. I make them fuck up. A lot. They’re people I understand, but I don’t want to be them or really hang out with them. I gave a lot of them my own faults. 

Both Beth and Wes are inherently selfish and impulsive people who have absolutely no respect for authority or anyone really. They’ve not really sensitive to the feelings of others at all. They think it’s more important to spit the truth than consider how someone would feel about it. So you have three serious character faults right there. On top of that, neither of them are really in touch or want to talk about their own feelings. They would rather hide behind sarcasm and wit, then have a serious conversation about emotions.

Beth and Wes are also manipulative, though Beth more so than Wes. She’s so in habit of manipulating people that sometimes she doesn’t recognize when she does it, which will be explored later on. She’s manipulative, a skilled liar (something she shares with Ned) and on top of that, she’s very spiteful. She does a lot of things out of spite and anger without thinking about the long term. She has an entire serious relationship when she’s older out of spite due to the man she loves telling her that he doesn’t want to be with her. It’s a very shitty thing on her part. She took someone’s emotions for a ride because she wanted to make someone jealous. It’s not cool, but people do that. She’s human and flawed.

Wes is entire another bag of issues. I’m not sure if it’s been translating well, but he’s like a borderline sociopath at times. Wes is very charismatic, people are drawn to him, but he’s not really drawn to people. He could survive without people rather easily. He would miss certain people, but he could do without. He likes company, but doesn’t crave or need it. He’s very much lone wolf out of the four. He also has zero respect for authority and boundaries and has no issues breaking them for himself or the people he cares about which is a very short li- it’s basically just his siblings, Gideon and Bobbi. I haven’t talked about magic much, but Wes is obsessed with magic and sees his magic as an extension of himself. He would struggle picking between magic and people, which I personally am horrified by. He’s a bit Rumple-like when it comes to magic since he’s something he’s naturally good at. A lot of this stems from his competitive nature and jealousy. If you haven’t noticed, which you might have not because I haven’t necessarily pointed it out but I have tried to write it as a background issue, but there’s a lot of tension between Harrison and Wes. They snip a lot, because Wes is extremely jealous of Harrison and the perceived favoritism towards Harrison. He sees Harrison as the “golden son” and as someone to compete with. Harrison has no talent whatsoever in magic while Wes does, it’s something where he is just better than his brother at. 

Harrison and Ned are more on the introverted side. They’ve both more reserved and quiet. Harrison is more quiet out of social anxiety. A lot of that stems from expectations put on him when he was very young, not necessarily by his parents but by the community. His looks, which are very similar to Killian’s, have made really made a lot of people expect him to be like his father. They see him as a min-Killian, he’s just not. Harrison knows he’s not capable of that, which is natural since he’s his own person. He doesn’t feel he has his own autonomy and it really stresses him out. He doesn’t want to be either of his parents, he just wants to be himself but that’s not what people want so he’s just internally a mess. He has a very negative self-image and zero confidence - it doesn’t help that Wes constantly derides him. He also has anxiety because he feels the need to protect his siblings who are more outgoing and wild than he is. Killian subconsciously has conditioned Harrison to constantly feel the need to protect them like Liam protected Killian. So, more often than not, Harrison is put into very uncomfortable situations in order to help out the other three who constantly blunder into horrible situations because they have zero impulse control and are more extroverted than he is. He gets like gray hairs in his twenties from the stress of them. On top of that, Harrison is a bit on the righteous side - very David-like. His moral code is a bit black and white, which kinda leads him disapproving of a lot of the shenanigans that go on around him. There’s a reason, he’s on medication for anxiety. Some of it is family, but a lot of it is self-imposed.

Ned…this child. He’s new and I’m still working on him, but he’s very much babied and constantly shielded by everyone and he’s aware of it. He’s annoyed by it, which has led to him being very sneaky, secretive, cunning and a very gifted liar. He loves his family, but often views them as obstacles to his own fun and experiences so he lies A LOT to keep them for catching on, disapproving or freaking out about what he’s doing. Like he’s really young in the series so far, but when he’s older, like every other thing he says to his family is a lie. Like he’s very into baseball, which causes some strain with Killian because of his disability and Ned just hides the fact he’s playing baseball up until like high school. Just would say he’s over a friends’ house whenever he had a game. He fixes his report cards so his parents don’t stop him from having fun. That sort of nonsense. It just leads to so many issues. On top of that, he really resents the age differences between him and his siblings and basically tries to grow up too fast at times. Like he gets a tattoo at sixteen to match the one that the older three have. He makes so many horrible mistakes in high school in regards to partying, girls, drinking and sports that he’s kinda “been there, done that” by college and really is just the responsible one out of his baseball team and is more focused on baseball, his grades and writing than having fun. Which of course leads to him being kinda estranged from his team who hasn’t gotten to his level yet. He’s like a geek-jock in college with like only three friends.

Long story short: FLAWS. FLAWS ARE FUCKING IMPORTANT. Flaws make the characters, which is why sometimes hard to relate to characters like Superman. Sues are boring. Perfection is dull. 

2. Am I ever going to write multiple chapters on the Little Pirates? Maybe, but not likely. I have a ton of story arcs that I could write multi-chapters on but I don’t think I have a big enough audience to really write those. I mean older!Jones children have really colorful lives - Beth ends up a fucking realm jumping pirate in her own right, Harrison has an adventure in Agrabah and overcomes a lot of his anxiety before he replaces Emma as the Sheriff of Storybrooke, Wes has a lot of adventures involving magic with Gideon and Bobbi and Ned finds his own fairytale adventures while in college. I love these stories and I could write them, but they feature very little of the original cast which I don’t think a lot of people are interested in them. However, I am planning a Henry centric Labyrinth crossover fic which does have infant!Harrison (babe with the power) in it, which could count as a part of Little Pirates, but will mainly be stand-alone.

3. I think I’ve said this before, but I have no idea how many one-shots I’m going to write for Little Pirates. I have no end number in mind. Though I do know I have at least ten ideas in the works that are a mix of requests, original ideas and semi-requests. I just made a queue bar so people can see where their requests/prompts are in my lineup. As for non-Little Pirate related material, I’ve thought about it. I’ve really wanted to write a Top AU-Captain Swan/Captain Charming fic where Killian is Maverick, Emma is Charlie, Liam is Goose and David is Iceman. I’ve been doing research for it and I’ve found that like 60% of Top Gun is like actually impossible so I’m trying to make a more realistic plot line and it’s just been nutty research-wise. I’ve also been thinking about doing a Henry centric summer league t-ball story that’s about Henry figuring his life out post-college with a romance plot line with Ava Zimmer, but that could be considered a part of LP because it would feature Wes and Harrison. I’m like incapable of writing anything but domestic Captain Swan it seems. I suck and like my own characters too much. So, needless to say I’m trying, but failing fucking miserably. Too many ideas, not enough time to research and write them. 

4. I’m little confused on this last question. I haven’t said anything about OUAT season seven…at all. I haven’t been quiet at all. The reality is that I haven’t said a word. There’s a reason for that. While I plan on watching season seven because I adore Colin O’Donoghue and Hook…I’m just not excited. I love Captain Swan and I really don’t trust A+E to do this season right without Jennifer Morrison. I’m just not really invested in it, but I am curious what they’re going to do. After reading all the D23 stuff over this weekend despite being at my cousin’s wedding, I’m like 60% convinced there is a canon Captain Swan spawn, which could be interesting but I’m not like over the moon about it. I could live with or without it. I’m kinda “meh.”

I’m not sure how or why OUAT season seven would effect Little Pirates in any shape or form. I think I’ve made it clear that it’s a canon divergence post-season six. Everything that happened between seasons one to six is canon, but season seven has absolutely no baring on my universe at all. It would be insane to try and incorporate season seven stuff into my universe which is like 85% fully formed. I intend to view season seven as an alternate reality to mine. Like in comic terms, the season seven is Earth-1 and Little Pirates is like Earth-16. LOL.

Unless you’re asking if I’m going to stop writing Little Pirates because season seven would make it not-canon, which, the answer to that is no way in hell am I going to stop writing just because my universe isn’t canon. Captain Swan is one of the very few OTPs that I have that IS canon. Canon disagreements don’t bother me. I’m happy to live in my own little universe while the canon goes in an entirely different direction. So, I’m not bothered. I assume I will get less readers because of season seven, but whatever. Eh. 

Apologies for the novel length response, but you did ask a lot of questions. I hope I answered them to your satisfaction.

[nameless-maiden]

Yoooooooooo Into Making Extra $$$ Teaching From Home??

Sorry I couldn’t think of a subject line that sounded less scammy but this is 100%-legit-not-a-scam. You do not have to spend money at any point and I’m not trying to trick you into anything.

Now that that’s out of the way.

A couple of months ago I started working for VIPKID. In case you have not heard of it, VIPKID is a long distance English tutoring service for kids in China. It’s been rated as one of the top 100 work-at-home companies, it’s super fun, and quite lucrative.

Quick run down:

You teach cute kids in China how to speak English using a combination of props, pre-loaded PowerPoint presentations, and a whole lot of smiling. You have a ton of work autonomy, you decide how much you work, and there are a many monetary incentives. The amount of money you make varies depending on the type of class and amount of teaching experience you have, but I made an average of $20/hr during my first month (and you can expect to be somewhere in the $18-$22 range at first as well). If your student doesn’t show up for their class, guess what! You still get paid. I have gotten paid for hours of reading, searching the internet, and watching Netflix, because of student no shows.

Real talk:

The application process is a little bit of a pain in the neck. You do have to prepare and do some super awkward mock classes with a full grown adult playing the student. However, you can get through the whole process in a week if you really want.

Peak hours for class bookings are not ideal. The busiest times for classes are in the wee hours of the morning and on weekends. Therefore, this is a good opportunity if you work a 9 to 5 and you are willing to get up early a couple days a week or sacrifice a weekend every month for some extra ca$h.

Incentives:

Like I said, VIPKID offers mad monetary incentives. If you teach a trial class and the student signs up afterwards BOOM! extra $5 in your pocket. If you teach at least 45 classes in a month (classes run for 25 min. each), you make an extra $1 for every single class taught that month. VIPKID consistently runs “Gold Rush Incentives” where you are given an individual challenge that will earn you extra money if you complete it. Aaaaaaaaannnd *drum roll*

The Referral Incentive! If you refer someone and they successfully become a VIPKID teacher then you earn an extra $80 - $100, which is why I am taking time away from the Stephen King novel I am currently reading to tell you about all this.

As I said, I’m not a scammer. I’m a recently graduated Master’s student with a ton of student debt that genuinely enjoys working for VIPKID and would genuinely enjoy making a bit more money. If you use my referral code when signing up I would be happy to answer any of your questions and coach you through the process of becoming a teacher as much as possible, just DM me baby!

Link: https://t.vipkid.com.cn/?refereeId=6484261&refersourceid=a01

Referral Code: 03UZAD

Thanks for taking the time to stop and read this. Use the referral link above to start your VIPKID application process today!

Or don’t. I’m not your boss.

*kisses*

- Corrie