#i guess i already told you guys about my stupid thoughts about Eddie × Henry crap

[lazybastardsstuff]

In my mind, it's Henry and Eddie.

Like literally.

[boyduroy]

Shave and A Haircut

Fandom: It (2017/2019)

Characters: Bill, Richie, Eddie, Stanley

Word count: 2,044

Genre: slice of life, hurt/comfort

Warnings: language, mentions of bullying

Synopsis: Just another day of being bullied by Bowers. Luckily Richie knows what to do.

{Not beta’d/proofread, sorry for any typos}

Bill, Eddie, and Richie are all sitting at the Tozier dining room table, waiting for the fourth member of their party to arrive. Their geometry homework is spread out across the wooden table, most of it unsolved, along with an array of snacks, most of which have already been devoured. Bill looks at the old clock on the wall as Richie and Eddie bicker over who gets the last of the barbeque-flavored potato chips. Stanley should have been done with baseball practice 30 minutes ago, and it doesn’t usually take him this long to bike to Richie’s house. Bill briefly considers riding up to the baseball field to check on him when a knock comes from the front door.

“About time,” Richie mutters, quickly swiping the final few chips from Eddie’s hand as he gets up to answer the door.

“Richie, you turd!” Eddie screams as

“Y’snooze, you lose, skeddi-boy,” Richie calls back to the dining room with a mouthful of chips. He rubs his hands on the edge of his shirt as he reaches for the door handle. He doesn’t remember locking it, and Stan knows he can let himself in, but Richie figures his friend is just being his usual polite self.

“Stan the man,” he announces loudly, swinging the door open. “Where’ve you been? You know we suck at math…”

Richie trails off as he takes in the sight of Stanley on his front porch. The other boy’s head is hung, defeated, and his baseball cap covers his face completely. Still, Richie can see the faint outlines of tear tracks running from Stan’s chin. His knuckles are paper white as they clutch his gym bag, and aside from the usual dirt stains on his uniform, he doesn’t look too roughed up in any apparent way.

“Stanley?” Richie asks, tilting his head to peek up under the baseball cap. Stan’s face is red from either crying or from exercise, or possibly a combination of the two. “What’s wrong?”

Stan sniffs, his dark brown eyes refusing to meet Richie’s. “May I come in please,” he asks, his voice a bit raw.

Richie pulls him inside, taking his gym bag from him. “Go sit down on the couch, I’ll grab you a glass of water.” As Stanley quietly kicks his cleats off near the front door, Richie races to the kitchen, tosses the bag down haphazardly, and grabs a clean glass from the cupboard. Any other day he would’ve just grabbed one of the dirty ones from the sink, which would’ve earned him an earful from both Stan and Eddie about how gross that was – “I drank from it earlier, so why should it matter?” – but right now was not the time to instigate. As he fills the glass from the kitchen sink, Eddie and Bill poke their heads in.

“What’s going on, Rich?” Eddie asks. “You drop something?”

Richie hurries back to the living room, trying not to spill the glass that he accidentally filled up with too much water. “Something happened to Stan,” he calls over his shoulder. “Come on, he’s in here.”

“What h-happened?!” Bill asks worriedly, he and Eddie hot on Richie’s heels as the three of them come to gather around Stan, now sitting stiffly on the edge of the couch. Richie offers him the glass, which spills a little onto the couch cushion, but Stanley accepts it and takes a drink. Eddie perches next to him, his hand on Stan’s shoulder, and subconsciously starts checking his friend for any signs of outward injury.

“You alright, Stanley?” Eddie asks. Stan swallows the water eagerly and gasps, handing the now half-full glass back to Richie. He nods but continues to look down, his face still obscured by his baseball cap.

“What happened?” Bill asks again.

“Bowers and his gang…” Stanley answers quietly. He suddenly shrinks into himself, unwilling to reveal any further information. “I can’t, it’s embarrassing.”

Bill kneels, putting a gentle hand on Stan’s knee. “It’s okay, you can tell us. W-why don’t you take off your h-hat so we can hear you better.”

“I can’t.”

“Huh?” Bill blinks, confused.

“I can’t take it off,” Stan repeats.

Richie smirks. “Don’t worry about your hat hair, Stanley, we’ve all been ther—”

“No.” Stan sniffles and looks up finally, his brown eyes swimming with tears. “I can’t take off my hat, Richie, because Henry Bowers and his asshole friends put krazy glue in it,” he enunciates sharply. “My hat. Is glued. To my head.”

The three of them stare stunned at their friend, whose head falls back down sadly. Bill can feel his own face growing hot with anger. Fucking Bowers… It was one of the cruelest pranks you could do to someone: paint the inner brim of their hat with krazy glue and just wait for them to put it on.

Eddie is the first to break the silence. “Oh Stanley,” he whispers, his own eyes threatening to mist. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” He rubs Stanley’s shoulder and looks to the other two. “What should we do, guys?”

Bill strides towards the door. “I’m guh-gonna got kick the sh-sh-shit out of Bowers,” he says matter-of-factly. Stan is on his feet in an instant.

“Please no, Bill! Don’t, he’ll do something worse to you,” Stanley yells, grabbing Bill’s shirt. Bill tries to shake him off as he opens the front door. “Please, it’s okay—”

“It’s not okay, Stan! He hurt you!”

Stan hardens. “Fine, I know, it’s not okay. It fucking sucks. But I don’t want you to get hurt fighting my battles for me! Bowers is going to get what’s coming to him eventually, but I don’t want you or anyone else getting hurt today.” He loosens his grip and sighs, rubbing his face. “Just… leave it alone, okay? For now, at least. Please?”

Bill huffs but eventually closes the door again.

“Fine,” he says, resting a hand on the offending baseball cap on Stan’s head. “But we still need to figure out what we’re g-going to do about th-this.”

“You’re gonna have to cut it off, I guess,” Richie offers.

Stan frowns. “No, I can’t. It’ll look so stupid.” He tries gently tugging the cap, but it doesn’t budge. “There’s got to be another way.”

Eddie approaches and carefully inspects where the hat and Stan’s hair are connected. “He really did a number,” he admits. “It’s stuck to your scalp in some places.”

Stanley groans. “Great,” he sighs.

“It’s just hair, it’ll grow back,” Richie insists. “My dad has some clippers in his bathroom, we can take care of it right now.”

Stanley shakes his head. “I especially don’t want to shave my whole head, Richie!”

“Why not? It’s just hair.”

“It’s my hair!” Stan argues. “Excuse me if I don’t want to look like Sinead O’Connor the rest of the school year!”

“It’ll grow back, Stanley!”

“I don’t care!”

“Oh my god, you are so sensitive,” Richie grumbles as he marches off and slams his parents’ bedroom door. Bill is about to suggest something when they hear the telltale buzz of an electric razor. The three of them are frozen in place.

“He wouldn’t,” Eddie says, looking wide-eyed at the other two.

They stumble past one another as they race to the bedroom and Bill pounds on the bathroom door. “Richie, what are you doing?!” he yells over the loud buzz of the razor. He tries the doorknob but it’s locked.

“Hey dumbass, you proved your point,” Eddie shouts at the door. “Cut it out, you’re freaking us out!”

Finally, after a few more bangs on the wood and jiggling the doorknob, does the buzzer click off and the door swing open. Richie stands there proudly, glasses off, clippers in hand, and with a freshly (and poorly) buzzed head.

“See? I told you it’s not a big deal, you wuss,” he says, gesturing to himself. The other three just stare at him in utter shock until Stan finally sputters.

“Richie, you… you--” Stanley says, then dips his head down into his hands, his shoulders beginning to shake. Richie frowns, worried for a minute that he’s crying again, but then Stanley tosses his head back and he’s laughing so uproariously. “You idiot! What the hell is wrong with you,” he asks through gasps.

The tension broken, Bill and Eddie also begin to laugh while Richie just smiles stupidly.

“You missed like so many spots, dude,” Eddie snickers. “Geez Richie, were you even trying?”

“Hey, I had to take my glasses off,” Richie protests. He tosses the razor to Bill and points to the back of his head, where tufts of black hair remained in messy patches. “Mind cleaning me up, Bill?”

Bill smirks and gets to work shaving off the rest of Richie’s hair. He actually didn’t do too bad of a job, just missed a few places here and there. At least he put a guard on it so he wasn’t just freehanding it.

“There you go,” Bill says once he’s finished. He hands Richie back his glasses and dusts the loose hair off his shirt. Richie examines himself in the mirror, his hands running over the short buzzcut.

“Looks a hell of a lot better than Sinead, if I do say so myself,” Richie remarks, satisfied with his handiwork. He throws a look to the other boys and grabs a pair of mustache scissors, snipping them threateningly. “Your turn, Stanley.”

Stan shakes his head quickly. “Not from you, four-eyes.” He takes the scissors and hands them to Bill. “Please be gentle.”

Bill nods and carefully starts cutting away the worst of the glue/hat/hair combination until the hat is freed, along with a substantial amount of hair. Eddie throws it unceremoniously into the trashcan. Stanley shuts his eyes, not wanting to see how ridiculous he looks with half his hair missing. Then Bill methodically shaves away the rest of his golden curls and it’s over before he knows it.

“Okay, you can look, if y-you want to.”

Stanley peeks one eye open and looks in the mirror. His face looks back at him, now sporting the same crewcut as Richie. It’s… not as bad as he thought it would be.

“It’s different,” he admits, touching the short prickly hairs gingerly. His heart aches for just a moment. It sucks but Richie was right: it’s just hair, and it’ll grow back. He glances at Richie. “I think I pull it off better than you, at least.”

Richie feigns a wounded look, clutching his chest dramatically. “Hey, whoa, watch yourself there, Staniel! Don’t forget, you copied me. I started this trend.”

They all laugh at this, then Bill looks at himself in the mirror, shrugs, and buzzes a line right down the middle of his head. They watch with amazement as he gives himself a haircut to match, smiling the whole time. Afterwards he clicks the buzzer off and turns to his friends, offering another shrug.

“I wanted to f-fit in with the cool k-kids. This look is v-very in right now.”

Stanley beams and throws his arms around Bill and Richie. “You guys are so dumb, but thank you,” he says. The three of them hug, then Richie looks mischievously at Eddie, who suddenly pales.

“Eds,” he states. “Snip, snip.”

Eddie glances between the three of them who now appear to be ganging up on him. He sighs and digs into his fanny pack. “My mom’s gonna think I joined a cult,” he mutters to himself. He pulls out his inhaler, takes a big puff, and looks to Bill. “Do it.”

Soon brunette hair joins the piles of auburn, blonde and black on the floor of Maggie and Wentworth’s bathroom. The boys take turns dusting each other off and inspecting one another for any missed spots, but Bill was careful and thorough and they all look good, if not a little bit off for the current fashion. Stanley felt grateful for his friends, idiots though they may be, for always making sure he was never alone in his suffering. They return to their long-forgotten snacks and homework, enjoying the pleasant company of one another – until the cry of “RICHARD TOZIER, WHAT IN GODS NAME HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF” from Richie’s mom interrupted their time together.

[stxn-the-mxn]

Alone Time || 2019!Bill Denbrough X Reader

IT CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS

! blood, death, mentions of rape !

He couldn’t believe he forgot about her. Of all the things about Derry, he forgot, why did it have to be her. He knew there was something holding him back from marrying Audra and later breaking up with her. 

There was always something in the back of his head, yelling at him, telling him to hold back. And now he knew, it had been her the whole time. That voice in his head, his subconscious… they were all her.

When they passed by her at the Chinese restaurant, he paid her no mind, trying to get out of their as quick as possible, especially after Richie lost his shit at some poor child. He hadn’t even realised it had been her. 

***

Back in 1990, she had been his everything. It was a while after Beverly had left, and he could feel his feelings for her dispersing quickly. In time, he would find every second of the day was taken up with thoughts of her.

He was disappointed in himself for never having noticed her before. She was in literally all of his classes. Every single one, and yet he never paid her any attention. He had mentally slapped himself after that discovery.

After that summer, Bill didn’t really hang out with the Losers Club as often. Every now and again he would talk to Stan, maybe Eddie or Richie. Ben and Mike were a different story. Bill never seemed to see them anymore.

So, he turned to her for a new best friend. At lunch, he joined her at the table she sat at by herself usually. She smiled at the boy, and Bill swore his heart skipped a couple of beats. After that day, they seemed to be spending days on end with each other.

Later that year, the school decided to put on a play. The most basic school play, Romeo & Juliet. The week before auditions, Bill had discovered Y/N’s love for Shakespeare. She had been talking about it non-stop since the announcement was made.

“Y-yknow, you s-s-should audition for J-Juliet.”

She had choked on her juice, staring at Bill, waiting for him to laugh it off. It had to have been a joke, after all.

“I’m s-s-serious, Y/N/N. You’re a g-great actress. Look, if y-y-you audition, I will t-too.”

Bill regretted that promise. He wasn’t ready to play Romeo and was most definitely not prepared to kiss you on stage in front of everyone. But he was ready to admit that he loved you, truly he did.

You had believed him. He said he loved you. He said that he wanted to be with you forever.

And then he left Derry.

***

How could he have forgotten his Juliet? He could feel the kisses on his lips again, her hands tangled in his hair. He could feel everything he felt for her, just like he did before he left Derry. Had Y/N left Derry?

He wasn’t sure, but he sure as hell wanted to know. He would search this damn town top to bottom if it meant finding you again. But first, he wanted to pass by somewhere that meant a shit ton to him.

He pedalled up to his old house, and he was surprised to see it hadn’t been changed one bit. It was the same colour, just freshly painted. He glanced up at the top window that used to be his bedroom and saw a woman in the window.

She seemed familiar, and the second they locked eyes, it didn’t feel awkward. It felt right. He watched as the woman ran downstairs. The door swung open, and the woman ran out to Bill.

“Bill, holy shit, it’s you! You’re right in front of me, breathing and everything oh my god.”

He knew it was her. He knew immediately. How could he not? All these years later, and she still had the same smile.

“Y-yeah, yeah it’s m-me. You h-h-haven’t changed. And you live in my old home?”

She chuckled, and it sounded like music to Bill. Her smile was the same, except the silver braces were gone. He examined her face. She had more noticeable freckles, her glasses gone, likely being replaced with contacts.

She was still the Y/N he was utterly in love with.

“What can I say? I missed you, this was the closest I could be to you.”

“Mom? Sewer guy?”

Both adults whipped around to meet the small kid with his skateboard. Bill’s jaw dropped, as he stared at the kid he had yelled at only an hour ago. It was just his luck, wasn’t it? He and Richie had both yelled at this poor kid, only to find out he belonged to the love of his life. 

“You know Dean?”

Y/N questioned, pure confusion in her voice. How on earth did Bill know her own son? Bill didn’t answer, just staring between Dean and Y/N.

“Bill? Come in, we need to talk. Dean, don’t stay out too late, I need you back from the fair at least 10 pm.”

Dean skated off, staring at Bill weirdly as he passed him. Bill watched the kid go, his eyes darting between Y/N and skateboard kid. 

“Fuck,” he thought “that probably means she’s married.”

Sensing that Bill was in a state of mild shock, Y/N sighed and dragged him inside. The floor plan was still the same as when he had lived there. Georgie’s old room now belonged to Dean. His old room was now occupied by Y/N and her husband.

They sat down on the bed, closer than Bill expected for a married woman.

“I’m not married.” Y/N seemed to read Bill’s mind. He glanced at her hands to find, to his joy, not a single gold band in sight.

“Well, where’d D-Dean come f-f-from then?” Bill had genuine curiosity in his voice, as he glanced at a photo of Y/N and Dean. he couldn’t help but smile at how happy they were. He had to ask about Dean’s father, but he didn’t want to come across as pushy or nosey. He failed that last part.

“He, uh, he never had a father. It’s always been just me and him.” She was holding back the truth. He needed to be nosey and pushy. He didn’t feel like he had any other choice.

“Y/N, even after 27 y-years, I k-know when you’re not t-t-telling me the truth. You d-do the thing with your h-h-hands.”

She looked down, seeing her right ring finger tapping her thigh. He really remembered everything after all those years. 

“Dean… he wasn’t a child of consent. That’s all I want to say on the matter.” Y/N’s words were quick and sharp. Bill could tell she was touchy about the subject. Who wouldn’t be? Silence fell over the room.

Bill held her tightly, as her sobs broke the silence. It was painful, seeing the woman he loved break like this. She had always been the second strongest woman he knew, as no woman would ever be as strong as Beverly Marsh, and that was fact, not opinion.

“I remember when Dean first asked about his dad. I told him he was off in California, writing stories and making movies that he wasn’t allowed to read or see yet.” Y/N laughed softly as she saw Bill’s dumbstruck expression. He still seemed to be processing it all, but that didn’t stop her from continuing.

“He had smiled, yelling that his daddy was famous while jumping in circles. I never had the heart to tell him the truth. I still don’t think I could.”

“So, what y-you’re telling m-m-me… is that y-y-your son thinks I-I’m his dad?”

She had looked down awkwardly, mentally calling herself stupid for bringing that up. Bill probably thought she was insane at this point.

“Maybe… maybe he n-n-needs a dad. One who’s a-actually around.”

“W-what?”

Bill pressed his lips against hers, those 27 years of lost emotions rushing into this one kiss. It was messy, rushed, somewhat chaotic. It was everything the both of them had wanted. It was perfect and beautiful and everything in between.

***

Bill, Ben and Beverly surrounded Eddie as they stared at the hole in his cheek where Henry Bower’s switchblade had been. Everyone was in a panic, not knowing what to do when someone gets stabbed through the face.

While Bill was also worried for Eddie, his mind was elsewhere. Specifically, his mind was on her. The voices of Ben and Bev and Eddie’s painful moans dissolved as Bill saw a skateboard roll over to them. It looked identical to Dean’s.

Bev noticed it too. Blood trailed upwards. It was floating. 

They flipped the board over, and Bill’s knees buckled.

Guess he couldn’t cut it either.

“I have to go.”

He ran, ignoring Silver and Bev’s calls for him to wait. He couldn’t let Dean get hurt. He couldn’t let Y/N get hurt. The fair was quite the distance from the Inn, but he ran the whole way. Dean wasn’t safe, no child was in this devil town.

The screams, happy screams, of kids and neon lights signalled his destination was extremely close. As he turned the corner, he immediately scanned the crowds for the mop of curly blonde hair.

Like a hitman finding his target, his eyes closed in on Dean L/N. He had made it time. Dean was there, breathing, all limbs attached. Bill continued sprinting. Dean was running with his friends towards the funhouse.

“Kid! Dean! Stop!” His pleas were useless as Dean ran through the spinning walkway. Bill stumbled across the walkway, feeling dizzy.

The next hallway was filled with swinging clowns. Dean must have already made it through. A clown slammed him into the wall, but he got back up and ran, only being hit by one more stuffed clown.

“Oh, you can not be serious?”

Bill faced the mirror maze, his head spinning. He didn’t stop to get his bearing though, sprinting through the maze, running into almost every mirror. He turned the corner successfully and saw the blonde boy up ahead.

“Kid!” He yelled, running at full speed, before cracking his head against another mirror.

“Kid?” He looked around, feeling his surroundings. It wasn’t possible. Not in some attraction designed for kids.

He was completely surrounded by those fucking mirrors. He continued to feel around, eventually finding an open passage. Bill stumbled through more hallways, this time avoiding running into anything.

Around another corner was Dean, walking idly. He ran towards the kid again but found himself stuck behind another barrier of mirrors. He shouldn’t have been shocked, running into mirrors in the mirror maze.

Spinning around, he saw him again. Dean was at the end of the hallway, staring through the mirrors. Bill ran, for the millionth time that day, calling out for Dean. and, for the millionth time that day, he found himself trapped behind a wall of glass.

Dean spun around at the thump on the glass. He stared at the man who seemed to be following him around this town and had been hugging his mom not that long ago. Bill clutched his face in pain, muttering “shit” not so quietly.

“K-kid! Hey, hey!” Bill smiled, and Dean backed away.

“What are you doing here?” 

“H-h-hey, I-I’m here to help,” Bill said, and Dean scrunched up his face in annoyance.

“Stop following me!”

“I’m gonna, I’m g-gonna get you o-out of here.” Bill walked backwards, and as his eyes drifted down past Dean, he seemed to freeze.

Dean followed his gaze, his breath catching in his throat as he saw the creature staring them down.

Pennywise The Dancing Clown stared at the two of them, trailing his tongue up the glass. He had hunger in his eyes as he watched Dean’s every move.

“No.” Bill pleaded. Pennywise moved up the glass, his tongue still licking the glass. Dean didn’t move, frozen in place.

“P-please..” Bill felt helpless.

Pennywise stared at Dean, who was shaking. Bill realised he was shaking too, as strong as he always made himself seem. The fucking clown smiled creepily at Dean, the poor boy crying and trembling.

Neither Dean nor Bill could say anything, both standing in silence as Pennywise reared IT’s head, before hitting it on the glass.

IT laughed at their fearful silence, the only other sound being Dean’s wavering breaths. IT smashed its head on the glass, harder this time, and Bill responded by pounding on the glass. Dean backed away, straight into the glass Bill was on the other side of.

IT repeatedly smashed its head on the glass, not holding back. Bill did the same, only with his fists. Dean yelped in fear, each cry a spear through Bill’s heart. The clown was relentless, never holding back as its head came in contact with the glass.

Dean was crying, and Bill felt tears welling up too. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. But it was, and it was a real as the fear pounding through their bodies.

The glass was cracking, Dean was screaming, and Bill was trying, but to no avail. IT slammed its head faster, more aggressive. Dean turned to Bill who was punching the glass. He knew he couldn’t do anything, but he didn’t want to believe it.

Two pieces of glass separated Dean from either safety or… something else. 

Bill moved to kick the glass, but it still remained intact. The other piece of glass did not. Dean’s screams echo through Bill’s mind, and they motivate him to try harder, to be stronger. He tries everything. Kicking, punching, pushing against it, all while looking into Dean’s fearful eyes. The same eyes he would have to look into after this. The same eyes that would fill with uncontrollable tears.

IT stops. But the glass is one tiny hit away from shattering. ITs face contorts, the horrifying smile it displays burning into Dean’s memories. Bill and Dean breathe heavily, and Pennywise can smell their fear.

IT rears its head back, before smashing it through the glass. Razor-sharp teeth slash out, latching onto Dean, who is still screaming. 

A gruesome blood splatter signifies Bill’s failure.

***

The incident had happened two days ago. In those two days, Bill had never felt more enraged. That anger, however, had been one of the keys to defeating IT. But as the Losers left the sewers, hauling an injured but living Eddie with great difficulty, the anger wasted away, and the sadness took its place.

He didn’t know how to tell her. He now knew how his parents felt, the day they had to tell him of Georgie’s fate. He felt so utterly useless. He had walked to her house, not ever wanting to arrive.

On the slow travel to the house of death and despair, Bill had contemplated how he would tell her. Nothing seemed right. He knew he needed the other Losers by his side if he was ever going to make it through.

Once the six of them had made it to your doorstep and rung the doorbell, Bill had broken down. And that’s how Y/N found them all, huddled around a sobbing Bill. They had all immediately noticed the tears in her own eyes.

“B-Bill?” 

She brought them all inside, making each one a cup of coffee or tea. They sat in silence, waiting for someone to say something. No one spoke, Bill and Y/N simply let out quiet sobs every now and again. An hour after, and a few coffee/tea refills later, Bill finally spoke up.

“Y-Y/N. Can we g-g-go upstairs?’

Bill held the woman close to him as they made their way upstairs. They both froze outside Dean’s old room, and Bill made the move to push her next door.

“What happened to Dean? Why did he never come home, Bill?”

Bill knew that deep down, she knew the answer to that. Not the specifics, of course. But he knew that Y/N could not have ignored the signs, like the missing posters that only seemed to be around when he was.

“Y/N, h-h-he’s gone.”

She couldn’t do this anymore. Bill held the sobbing woman, and he knew the other five Losers downstairs could hear everything. Her crying eventually brought the other five upstairs, one by one.

It reminded them of 1989 after they first defeated IT, when Bill had found Georgie’s yellow raincoat. Bill made the connection too, which hurt even more. They all found their tears dotting each other's clothes as they hugged the woman that they had not met until an hour ago.

“I… I think I need some time alone.” She mumbled, and the Losers left her room. Bill was about to leave when she pulled him into a kiss. It was like the one he shared with Beverly all those years ago; a farewell kiss.

***

It had been more of a farewell than Bill hoped. Not even two months after he left Derry for the second time did he receive the letter. It was addressed to him, from an address he didn’t know.

Opening the letter, he immediately recognized her handwriting. It hadn’t changed since high school. The note was short.

I’m sorry. I tried to be strong, I really did. I couldn’t do it without you and Dean. And I feel so selfish for doing this, and I don’t want you to be mad. It was best for everyone. I promise I’ll see you again, but as I said that horrible night, I need some time alone.

Yours forever, Y/N L/N

Dropping the envelope, another piece of paper came flying out. He didn’t want to, but he had to pick it up. Turning it over, he wanted to believe he was back in Derry, and this was just some cruel trick that clown was playing on him.

But it wasn’t. He wasn’t in Derry. If he was, maybe it would’ve changed things. It would’ve for sure stopped him from receiving the letter he currently held in his hand.

Celebrating a life well lived

Y/N M/N L/N

Loving mother, daughter and friend

1976-2016

***

@chipoisaloser

[janeyseymour]

Escape- pt 25

pt 1. pt 2. pt 3. pt 4. pt 5. pt 6. pt 7. pt 8. pt 9. pt 10. pt 11. pt 12. pt 13. pt 14. pt 15. pt 16. pt 17. pt 18. pt 19. pt 20. pt 21. pt 22. pt 23. pt 24.

Jane Seymour has stayed with Henry long enough. Cue Catherine of Aragon and the rest of the girls to save her (Aramour)

Jane woke up to breakfast in bed the next morning.

“For my beautiful wife,” Catherine smiled with Eddie, who squealed at the sight of his mother, in her arms.

“Good morning babe.” She leaned up to give the hispanic a kiss and take her son. “What’s all this for?”

“I love you. You gave me this life. You have me Eddie. This doesn’t amount to the life you gave me, but this is for you.” Catherine pulled out a white rose from under the bed. “I am worthy of you, and you are worthy of me. After you finish breakfast, I want to show you a few things. Your parents and Kat agreed to watch Ed for us. I think my parents said they were going to come up too, if that’s okay with you.”

“Oh Lina, we can just-”

“No. We’re going out for the day. I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

“You don’t want to eat breakfast?”

“No, it’s okay. I want to see whatever you’re doing.”

An hour later, the couple was on their way out, Jane finding every reason to stay with Eddie a little while longer, despite skipping breakfast because she was so eager to see what her wife had planned.

“So, you both have-”

“Janey, for heaven’s sake! Leave already! We raised you, didn’t we? Eddie will be just fine!” Margaret pushed her daughter out the door and slammed the door in her face. She waved enthusiastically, knowing what Catherine had planned for her daughter.

“Come on. It’ll be worth it.” The hispanic outstretched her hand and led the blonde to the car.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

When they pulled up to their high school’s lobby, Jane looked at Catherine with confusion.

“Why are we here?”

“I have something to show you.” They walked to the front desk. “This is where I first saw you. I couldn’t get you out of my head. I swear, I had that feeling of euphoria. This is for that moment.” Jane was handed a lavender colored rose.

“How did you do this? It’s Saturday. How did you get in here?”

“Oh, this you won't believe. First though, come on.” When they were at their next destination, Jane let out a full-on belly laugh.

“This is Phillips’ room. Why?”

“Here, we started our friendship.” Catherine handed her a yellow rose that was hidden underneath the podium at the front of the room. “This is also where I started to fall in love with you.”

“Me too.” The couple shared a kiss.

“Follow me.”

When they found the principal’s office, Catherine knocked, barely containing her excitement. The door flew open, and their old technology teacher grinned from ear to ear as he came face to face with his former students.

“I believe this is for you.” He handed her a yellow rose with red tips.

“To show our friendship turning into something more. Mr. Phi-”

“It’s doctor now,” Phillips interjected.

“Sorry,” Catherine laughed. “Dr. Phillips is principal now. I figured he was kind of a key in our relationship.”

“You’re absolutely amazing,” Jane said softly as she gazed at the woman in front of her.

“Thank you,” Phillips accepted the compliment meant for Catherine.

“Thanks for helping us out man. We have to get going to our next stop.”

“There’s more?” Jane raised an eyebrow.

“Oh man, your wife planned a lot. Keep her around.” Phillips offered a genuine smile. “Be on your way now.”

“He mellowed out a lot,” Jane giggled once they were out of the school.

“Yeah, he really has, and he’s a great guy. He was so excited to help out even though it meant having to go to the school on a Saturday. He said something about how he felt like a proud father. Only God knows what that could possibly mean.”

“Only the lord himself knows. Where to next?”

When they pulled up to ‘their’ dinner, Jane practically leapt out of the car.

“Wait up baby!” Catherine hustled to catch up with her so she could hold the door open.

“Hey Cath,” Jessie, a young waitress, waved to them.

“It’s all ready, right?”

“Ready to go ma’am!”

Jane smiled when she saw a blue rose at the table they dubbed as theirs in high school- the same table they sat at after prom. Catherine snatched it before Jane could.

“What does this one mean?”

“You catch on fast. But let’s have some lunch first?”

The blonde looked in wonder for a second before speaking up, “Dessert too?”

“If you want, but you should’ve eaten breakfast.” Catherine smiled at the love of her life.

When they finished lunch, the older Aragon handed her the rose.

“Because this is where our first date was; where I found out you were dating Henry. Blue is for impossible love.”

“Shit. I’m so sorry Lina.”

“No apologies. There are good memories here too, like prom. And, I have you now. Anyway, back to the house.”

“Hey Ma! We’re-”

“They’re not home. Just us right now. Go upstairs and then walk back down for me?”

“You’re nuts,” Jane laughed but did as she was told. When she walked back down, Catherine had a shy smile along with a light pink rose and a salmon colored rose.

“You were gorgeous on prom night. I was so excited to take you. Let’s go outside for a quick second?”

“You really didn’t have to do this.”

“I really did though. It was better than your dad’s idea anyway. He told me to just bang you to show you how much I love you.”

“Ew, what the fuck?”

“Jane, he’s your father. I have no idea. I was quite repulsed when he said that to me.”

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”

“I-” Catherine didn’t know how to respond, so instead she pulled out a dark pink rose and a peach rose from the windowsill. “Here, you kissed me for the first time. It was simple. I remember going home that night feeling like I was on cloud nine. I just wanted to say thank you for that.” She kissed the blonde’s forehead before leading her away from the house and back to the car.

“Jesus, where are we going now?” Jane wondered aloud.

“I don't think I’m Jesus honey.”

“Way to lay on the dad jokes,” she snorted with laughter.

“Well, I may not be a dad, but I am a parent. Thank you for that.” The hispanic brought Jane’s hand up to her lips and kissed it. “We’re going to the park on Main.”

“You’re amazing.”

When they got there, not only were all of their parents gathered around one swing watching their grandson giggle with delight, the rest of their friends were there too.

“Hi baby!” Jane peppered her son’s face with kisses before gently swaying her in the swing.

“I’ll be right back.” Aragon took a few steps back to admire her wife for a moment before jogging away to grab the red rose she had hidden in the car. “My dear, this is for you.”

“Why this one?” She brought the rose to her nose and smiled at the sweet smell.

“You are the most beautiful with our son. It’s a sight I never thought I would be able to see everyday. There are days where I’m just left awestruck. I mean, it’s amazing. I can’t wait to have more with you.” She wiped a tear from the blonde’s face. “I mean, it’s amazing. I can’t wait to have more with you.”

“I don't deserve you.”

“Yes you do,” Jane heard the bunch yell at her.

“Yes you do,” Aragon whispered.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I have a few more things for you, but they’ll be ready for you in a few hours. Go back to the house with everyone. We’ll do some more tonight. I promise.” Catherine turned towards the car.

“Where is he-” Jane was cut off by her wife hugging her tightly from behind.

“I forgot to kiss you goodbye.” She pecked the blonde’s lips and gently pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jane pulled her son out of the swing before saying, “Say bye to Mama!” as she waved Eddie’s hand to Catherine.

“Bye sweet boy.” The hispanic kissed Eddie’s fuzzy head and jogged off. Jane turned around and looked at her family.

“Where is she going?”

“Let’s go home. Eddie looks like he’s getting pretty tired,” Katherine tried changing the subject.

“Do you really think you can distract-”

“Mom, come on. He needs a nap.” Kat took the baby from her mother’s arms and walked towards the car.

“I guess we’re leaving?” Margaret chuckled. “Everyone is welcome to come back to our house!”

A few hours later, the family was sitting in the living room talking.

“You know,” Isabella turned to Jane. “I remember Catalina coming home from school day day and just going on and on about how she had met the most wonderful person. I had never seen her care for someone so quickly. She really loves you. Please keep her close to you.”

“Bella, you know I will. If anything, Lina would be the one to leave me. I’m not exactly the best wife.”

“Don’t beat yourself up like that Janey. She’s not asking for the best; she’s asking for you. That’s all she’s ever wanted.”

“I don’t know. I just worry that one day she’s going to look back at all of this and realize it was a mistake. You know? I’m not really that much at all. She isn’t really going to-”

“Jane, are you stupid?” Fred let out a laugh, not realizing his daughter’s wife was being serious.

“I mean, I don’t know. Maybe?” She looked at her hands guiltily.

“Do you know what my daughter's dumb ass would do for you? You were the only person she ever deemed worth of bringing home. Ever. Did you know-”

“Really?” Jane looked at her father-in-law with tears in her eyes.

“You were it for her. You always have been.”

“She told me she dated all through college.”

“And she told us they would never amount to you, so she never brought them home.”

“I really love her, you know.”

“We all know that Jane,” Anne piped up. “You and Cath are always-”

“Annie, stop. I don’t need to know whatever you’re about to say about my mom.” Kat clapped her hands over her ears before adding on, “I’m going to the bathroom.” Kat walked up the stairs.

“Anne’s right. We all know. We can see it in your-” Cathy started to say, but a knock on the door interrupted her.

“I’ll get it. It’s probably just Lina.” The blonde wiped her tears and opened the door, fully expecting to see her wife, but she was shocked with who was actually there.

“Listen, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.” Thomas gave a sinister smile.

“Guys, go upstairs.” Jane cringed.

“No one moves, or she gets shot.” Thomas grabbed the woman at the door before she could move out of his reach.

“Thomas this-”

“Shut up, and get to the wall,” he shouted.

“Why are you-” Thomas pulled out a gun and jammed it against her temple.

“Because if I can’t have you, no one can!”

“You can’t-” Thomas whipped around and pointed the gun at John. “Okay, okay!” He held his hands up in the air.

“Now look! I know what she deserves! I’ll give it to her! She’s mine now. Any of you move, and you’ll- she’ll get it!”

Katherine lurked at the top of the stairs, being able to make eye contact with John but remaining unseen by Thomas. She put her finger to her lip, hoping the older man would understand. He gave the slightest head nod in acknowledgement.

“Come on Thomas,” Margaret spoke softly. “Don’t do this. She has a son. Your friend did enough to her, didn’t he?”

“He’s dead! I’m here to save her and give her the life she deserves,” Thomas reasoned.

Katherine stared at the scene in silence before taking the opportunity to grab her cell phone from her back pocket and call the police- call Officer Beale.

“Thomas, come on honey. Take a seat. We can talk about this.”

“No! She needs this! She’s hurt, and it’s my job to save her!”

“Thomas, you-” Margaret was cut off.

“I’ll go.” Jane tried her best to hide her cringe.

“You’ll what?” the family practically shouted, all eyes wide.

“I said, I’ll go with you Thomas. I’ve realized, I think I really am in love with you,” she grimaced as she tried to sound as seductive as possible.

“Wait, really?” He lowered the gun.

“Yeah, I don’t know how I couldn’t see it before.” She pulled him towards her and kissed him as hard as she could without gagging.

“What on Earth is she doing?” Isabella whispered to John.

“Sh,” he quieted the woman. “She has an idea if I know my daughter.” John had faith in her.

“You know,” Thomas pushed away just as Jane’s fingers brushed the gun he had since placed in his pocket. “I never thought you would-” Jane grabbed the gun. Thomas tried to stop her, but she was faster.

“Don’t you fucking-” Jane pointed the gun at him and backed away from against the wall.

“Thomas, I’ll pull it,” Jane stated firmly despite the fact that her entire body was shaking. She still had never had the chance to take a shooting lesson, much less hold a gun. “You and your friend, Jesus. You really fucked me up. You know that?” She laughed bitterly. “Not anymore. I am finally happy. I ‘m married to the only person I ever thought I would love. I have a son, I have a daughter, and I’m done with your bullshit. I will not let you keep doing this. Do you-” Thomas made a grab for her at the very second Katherine had gone to tackle him. Jane fired the gun.

[yikestripes]

Insecurity

Based on @livi-the-werewolf’s genius headcanon for someone insecure dating Richie! I love her headcanons and I just love Richie sm,,,,, enjoy y’all! They’re older in this one (because time doesn’t seem to exist in this world HAHA) 

also sorry it’s kinda short i’ve been super uninspired and i’m exhausted, BUT WE BANGED IT OUT BOYS AND GIRLS

“You know, even I gotta admit, you guys are so cute together!” Bev grinned as she took a sip of lemonade.

“Thanks Bev. Look at you and Bill though! You guys are so made for each other. And to be honest,  I don’t know how Rich even fell for me like he did. Literally and figuratively.” You just kinda shrugged and looked out at the horizon.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s nothing.” “It doesn’t seem like nothing. Come on, (Y/N), you know you can tell me literally anything! We fought an evil clown together for fuck’s sake!” Bev pleaded.

You remained quiet for a minute, still thinking.

“You have to swear not to tell anyone, ESPECIALLY Richie. He cannot find out.”

“I swear.”

“Greta Bowie and Henry Bowers have been giving me more shit than usual. I don’t know, it’s stupid. They never forget to remind me of how ugly I am, though.”

“(Y/N), that’s awful! Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me? Why not Richie especially?” Bev’s eyes were wide, she knew all too well how much Greta’s words could rip you to shreds.

“Because, Richie’s gonna go looking for trouble, and I don’t want you guys getting into something with them too.”

Beverly set her mouth into a straight line as she thought.

I think I can deal with the wrath of (Y/N), especially if that means stopping Henry and Greta’s torment.

(Y/N) had already moved on from the conversation, going on about some new book she was reading that she found when she was hiding out in the library one day after school. Beverly nodded along, pretending to listen, as she thought about what and how she was going to tell the Losers.

-Later-

“They WHAT?” Richie fumed, pacing back and forth.

“Richie, calm down, pacing a hole into the ground isn’t going to solve anything.” Bev said, brushing her hair out of her face. Bill laid his hand on hers, noticing her fighting the rising urge for a cigarette. She looked back and smiled a little bit at him, squeezing his hand lightly.

“Guys, they convinced my beautiful girlfriend that she’s anything less of a GODDESS! Like REALLY, have you seen her? It’s amazing I convinced her to date me!” Richie ran a stressed hand through his messy curls.

“R-r-richie,” Bill said, forcing Richie to stop in his tracks. “It’s okay, we’ll figure it out.”

“No. This ends now.” Richie picked up his bike in a huff and rode off into the distance by the time the Losers were able to process what was going down.

“RICHIE WAIT!” Eddie screamed after him, but it was no use. Once he had made his mind up, there was no stopping Richie.

-

“BOWERS! Where are you, fuckface?” Richie demanded, calling into the Barrens. There was no one in this world Richie wouldn’t beat the shit out of for you, especially Henry Bowers. He’d treated the Losers, especially Richie, like absolute shit for years; this was the final straw.

“Lookin for someone to break in your face, Tozier? Maybe that pretty little girlfriend of yours’ll go looking for a real man after I rearrange it in an even less appealing way!” Henry snickered, his goons slowly emerging from the woods.

Richie gulped, but stood his ground.

“Coming from the mullet-wearing asshole, with the nose of a pig!”

“YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD!” Henry roared, Patrick and Belch moving towards Richie quicker than he anticipated. Richie dodged punches left and right the best he could, a few blows landing on his chest and arms, thankfully missing his face. So far.

Before Richie could move out of the way, Henry punched him square in the face, but as he did so, Richie brought him to his knees with a kick in the dick.

Henry crumpled immediately, holding his dick and rolling around on the ground, as his goons made a break for it. He didn’t have the muster to scream at them to come back.

Richie grinned down at Bowers as blood trickled out of his nose, and spit right in his face.

“That’s what you get for calling my girlfriend ugly, you stupid fucker.” He muttered, leaving Henry behind.

He picked up his bike and rode back towards town, unaware of the black eye that was quickly forming underneath his glasses.

“Richie?” He heard a familiar voice call from across the street.

“Hey babe!” He grinned, completely unaware of the blood dripping from his nose.

Your face instantly turned horrified as you reached up to his face to wipe some of the excess blood away.

“What, did Bowers do some bad damage to the goods?” Richie joked halfheartedly, hardly aware of the dull ache in his arms and face.

“Did you go after him?” You ask, incredulous.

Richie rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well, yeah. They made fun of you, they told you weren’t beautiful!”

You pulled a spare, clean tissue out of your pocket, and began dabbing lightly at the trail of blood.

“Thanks for defending me, Rich.” You said quietly, looking up at his large brown eyes hidden behind his glasses.

“Anytime, beautiful.” You pressed a short kiss to his lips, as he winced.

“Oh no, i’m so sorry I didn-” Richie cut you off mid sentence, pulling you in close, deepening the kiss.

He smiled as you both broke for air, and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Hey, guess what.” He whispered into your hair.

“What?”

“You’re hot.”

“Oh stop.”

“What do you mean? Someone needs to make sure you know how hot you are!”

You blushed a little and rested your head on his shoulder, and he let you stay there.

He would let you stay there forever.

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

unspoken love

Summary: Richie carves his initials on the kissing bridge but doesn’t finish. 27 years later he goes back and a surprise is waiting for him. 

This wasn’t really requested but @lifesucksheres20bucks came up with this amazing idea! 

Warning: I guess a spoiler from the book? (there’s a character death okay lol)

To say Richie was done with everything that was happening, was quite an understatement. Now that Eddie had broken his arm, his mother got even more overbearing. She wouldn’t let Eddie out of her sight, he couldn’t get out of the house for even a small second and if Richie even dared to step foot on the lawn of Eddie’s house, Sonia was chasing him away in a heartbeat. It was starting to really way on Richie. He cared about Eddie, more than he often liked to admit.

He loved spending time with Eddie. Ever since they met it was like there was an unspoken agreement that the two of them would do everything together. And yes, of course they had other just as amazing friends who they both loved to hang out with, but it wasn’t the same. The feeling both of them got when they hang out, was one they didn’t find with anyone else. It was like an invisible line connecting them.

 At least, that’s what Richie thought of it. He wasn’t sure Eddie felt as connected to him as he was to him. He knew Eddie got along great with Bill too, and sometimes Richie felt a splash of jalousie. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew logically that Eddie cared about him just as much as he cared about any of the other losers, but sometimes he wished that he was the most important person in Eddie’s life. All logic flew out the window when Richie thought about Eddie.

It took Richie a while to figure out why he felt that way but when he did, he panicked. He was in love with Eddie. The realization of that caused a storm of internal drama. Richie dealt with everything bad in his life with humor, but this was a whole different kind of bad. He knew that if Eddie would ever find out that he was into boys, especially into him, he would never talk to Richie again.

Eddie had never discussed any love interest to Richie and neither had any of them talked about being gay, but Richie had heard Sonia complain about the gay couple at the corner of her street enough times that Richie knew she hated gays. He also knew that Sonia had a way to manipulate Eddie into having the same opinion as her, so he was terrified that if Eddie ever found out what his true feeling are he would hate Richie as well.

If there was one thing Richie couldn’t live with, it was Eddie hating him. So he decided he would never tell Eddie his true feelings, he would rather deal with the sharp edges of unrequited love, then lose his best friend. Besides, even if Richie were to tell Eddie how he felt. There was no way Eddie would feel the same.

But now, it had been two weeks since Richie had a chance to talk to Eddie, and he really missed him. With a sigh he picked up his bike and continued on his way home. He had spend the day at the arcade but now the arcade was closed and he was heading home. To get home he had to cross the ‘kissing’ bridge. It was named that because a lot of people had their first kiss there, and those who did, tended to leave their initials behind on the beam of wood on the spot where they had kissed. Richie walked past there almost everyday and every time he did, his eyes were drawn the names. He often wondered while he passing, what the back stories of the names were. Did they meet when they were children? Were they summer lovers?

Without thinking about it, Richie stopped his bike near the end of the bridge. He threw his bike down, not bothering to place it neatly on the side, nobody passed there during the day anyway. He walked toward the beam looking for an empty spot. He never thought about carving his name in the bridge before, but after everything that happened with the clown, he wanted to leave a memory of his love for Eddie behind. If in 20 years from then a kid saw their initials and wondered who they were, Richie would know.  

When he spotted an empty spot he took out a pocket knife he had snatched from home. Though he would never admit it, after the neibolt house Richie was terrified of seeing the clown again. He took the pocket knife to protect himself, although the chances of that stopping the goddamn clown were slim to none. It made Richie feel safer having it with him.

He placed to knife to the beam, but before starting, he took a look around. He wanted to avoid anyone seeing what he was about to do. When he didn’t see anyone he started carving R into the wood. The sun was shining brightly and Richie’s hands started to get clammy, it wasn’t nearly as easy to carve the letters as he thought it would be. When he was done with the R he added a +. After he carved that he paused, whipping his hands on his shorts, he started to get cold feet. If Eddie ever found out he did this, he would be done in for.

He took a deep breath and looked around for a second time. When he again didn’t see anyone, he gripped the knife again. Fuck it, he thought, there’s a literal child eating clown trying to kill them. This was nothing.

Just as he placed the knife on the wood, he heard the voices of the bowers gang looming up from afar. Startled he looked up and saw Henry and his goons coming his way rapidly. Wasting no time Richie dropped the pocket knife and dashed away from the beam. He ran towards his biking, picking it up and scrambled to get a move on. As he was biking away he realized how stupid he had been. He shouldn’t have even tried to carve their names in the wood. If Henry would have seen, he would have never heard the end of it. By the time he got home, he had decided he wouldn’t return to the kissing bridge. His crush on Eddie was something only he would ever know about.

 ----------------

Only a week later Eddie Kaspbrak was walking on the same bridge his best friend had a week previously. His breathing was erratic and he was pissed. It had been 3 weeks since he talked to any of his friends and he missed them. He had been ecstatic when he saw Richie on his lawn. He had gotten a huge smile on his face and was already halfway down the stairs when he saw his mother run out in a furry. She had run up to Richie. “I thought I told you not to come around anymore. I don’t want you anywhere near my Eddie bear. You’ve hurt him enough”. She barked at him. Richie flinched back as if the words had physically hit him in the face. He turned around then, clearly not in the mood to fight with Sonia anymore.

 When she came back inside Eddie had demanded to know why she send him away. That’s how he found out that Richie had been coming around every two days. Eddie felt a pang of deep hatred run through his veins. He had been so lonely and sad that no one was checking up on him, only to find out his best friend had tried so hard. That’s when he ran out of the house. He would deal with the implications when he got back.

So yeah, he missed his friends, desperately. He particularly missed hanging out with a curtain trashmouth. Richie was his best friend for as long as he could remember. But since almost dying Eddie realized that his feelings for Richie went beyond best friends. And it terrified Eddie to no end. Not only did he think it was embarrassing to have a crush on his best friend, he was also dealing with pure and other disgust for himself. 

He knew that what his mother did him was disgusting but that didn’t mean that what she said didn’t stick. He was convinced that he was a horrible human being, just for thinking of guys in  way he should be thinking of girls. He kicked a plastic bottle laying on the street with all his might, the bottle being thrown of the bridge. For once, he didn’t care. It was so unfair. All he wanted was to be normal. Why couldn’t he just fall in love with Bev for god sake.

But he knew deep down he could never like anyone as he liked Richie. He could feel tears gathering in his eyes and paused taking a deep breath. He looked around him, he had no idea where he was walking, he just needed to get away from his mother. He recognised the place he was right away. The kissing bridge. His face turned into a scowl. He hated this place. Seeing all the happy people’s names on there just made him think of his one sided love. He once told Richie that as soon as he had his first crush he would come here and carve their names in one the empty places. He hadn’t realised at the time that his first crush was right in front of him.

He walked towards the beam and stopped dead in his tracks. He was looking at an lonely R carved in the wood. He was wondering why anyone would write one initial, but not the other. Clearly they were planning on writing the other letter considering a + was also carved. Eddie reached his hand out towards the R but instead of touching, he just let his hand linger over the letter. He knew it was stupid, but for some reason it reminded him of Richie. He looked around but saw no one in sight. When he looked back toward the beam he noticed a pocket knife lying in the grass. The sun was reflecting in the blade and Eddie was surprised he didn’t see it before.

He extended his arm but hesitated. He couldn’t believe he was really thinking about doing this. The person who had carved the R in could come back any minute, not to mention that if anyone saw him do this, his mother would murder him. But Richie had been brave for him, in Neibolt when the clown had come. He had looked at Eddie and tried to calm him down as much as he could. If Richie could be brave in that situation, than Eddie sure as hell could be brave now. Determent he reached for the pocket knife. The moment his hand seized the knife he cringed. Who knows how long the knife had been there.

Without thinking too much further Eddie started carving and E next to the R. When he was done he stepped back and watched proudly. He felt like this was him standing up to his mother, even though she would never hear about his act of defiance. He dropped the knife back where he had found it and turned away. Even if he never told Richie how he felt about him, his feeling were forever carved in the beam, in plain sight.

 ----------------------

27 years later….

Richie didn’t know what was next. He had never felt so utterly lost on what to do as he did now. He couldn’t think of any solution to dealing with IT. He found it hard to think about anything, to feel anything. The clown had taken away the most important person in Richie’s life. Even if Richie had forgotten about him, he never felt complete in his life. When he came back to Derry and saw him, he remembered just how much he missed him. Eddie was dead. He was dead. It was a thought Richie couldn’t quite comprehend. He knew Eddie was dead, but he didn’t realize it.

Without thinking about it much, he left the remaining losers at Mike’s farm and started walking. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like all his energy had died with Eddie.

He unknowingly walked back towards the kissing bridge, the place where he was too scared to write his and Eddie’s names. He felt like a coward, like it was another way he let Eddie down. He heard footsteps behind him and when he glanced back, he could see Ben following him. Luckily he kept his distance, he knew Richie needed time by himself. Beverly had no doubt forced someone to follow him, to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.

When Richie stood back in the same place where he had stood 27 years ago, his entire body started trembling. Next to the R he had carved, stood an E. He knew for a fact that he hadn’t carved that letter, memories of Henry Bowers coming back up. He heard Bill coming to a halt behind him.

‘Richie, are you okay’? Ben asked softly. He didn’t really know what to say.

Richie didn’t answer him. He couldn’t. Could it be that Eddie had written that E? Richie couldn’t know for sure, but something inside him told him that it was indeed Eddie that had wrote it. Eddie felt the same, he loved Richie in the same way Richie loved him. Maybe they hadn’t literally said it too each other, but they both knew they loved each other. Richie was convinced that Eddie had died with the knowledge that he would forever hold Richie Tozier’s hart, and that was enough for him.

With this in mind, Richie felt a warm feeling spreading over his body, bringing an emotion he hadn’t felt in a long while. Hope.

‘yeah’. He replied hesitantly, but then his voice gained momentum and rose.

‘Yeah, let’s go kill this fucking clown. For Stan and Eddie’.

[dyingswanpavlova]

“We don’t have to” Part 1 || REDDIE [Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak]

Pairings: Stan x female!Reader, Richie x Eddie

Author’s note: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I present you my first ever m x m fanfic, so please please don’t be too harsh on me. I saw It Chapter 2 on Saturday and my heart is aching so bad for what happened to Stan and Eddie (it’s not like I’ve read the book before and stuff but still). Also English isn’t my first language and since I haven’t really been writing anything at all for the last 1-2 years because of the lack of motivation caused by depression - blah, what I was trying to say: don’t hate me, if this turns out to be shitty. Love you!

Plot: Some years after the Losers Club split, they find themselves reunited for a beautiful occasion: the wedding day of Stan x Reader [also this will be a spin-off oneshot or fanfiction I’m currently working on, this one focuses more on Reddie]. The night before the big day, all of you are having a good time, drinking and eventually playing Truth or Dare like you did in the good old days. Everything seems to be fine, until you dare Richie to do something that might have questionable consequences...

_______________________________________________

“I don’t understand you people. Bacardi is fucking disgusting.”

“You wanna know what’s disgusting?”

“Richie, if you even dare to only take my mother’s name in your mouth, I will fucking end-”

Right before you could finish your sentence, you felt someone softly grabbing your shoulder. To your relief, it was Stan. You felt how you melted under the gentle touch of his hand. Almost ten years together and he still made you gasp with only a touch.

“Trust me, Richie. This girl here does not banter when it comes to her Mama.”

Everyone shared a laugh until you heard the bottles cracking on the table. Ben immediately started filling everyone’s cups up, with no protest allowed. You leaned back and placed your hand on Stan’s hand. You could hear him smile.

“Okay. Now give me the empty one, please”, Beverly ordered and Ben handed it over to her, so quickly that he almost tripped over his feet. She smiled at him and asked him to take his place down next to her. He smiled back at her. These people were some serious goofs. But they were your goofs.

“This might be fun.” Beverly chuckled before spinning the bottle for the first round. Everyone heard Eddie groaning and everyone ignored it, except for Eddie who made a filthy comment about “jizzing” in “one’s pants”.

“Might be seems very common. I hate this game”, Mike moaned and gave Beverly a death glare, right before the bottle stopped to point right at him. Everyone laughed hysterically except for Mike. He smiled shyly and much less confident.

“Okay, Mikey-boy. Truth or dare?”

Mike rolled his eyes back and then lowered his view to the least. “Truth, I guess.”

“Oh-oh, can I, can I?”, Bill asked, suddenly fully attentive. Usually, Bill was the calmer one of the group, but after the right amount of alcohol, the Losers found, he turned into a witty sport.

Beverly gave Mike a knowing smile and then nodded at Bill.

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Oh my- what! How old are you people? Like seriously!”

Mike complained a bit, but after some time, he smiled and unwillingly answered the question. “I was 18, okay?”

Richie snorted and suddenly widened his eyes. For him it was common sense to comment everyone and everything but all of a sudden he felt like he might have made a mistake. It was not Eddie he was balling, it was Mike. And he wasn’t so good, at least not as good with...

“And how old were you son of a mother, if I may ask you, Richard?” Mike pointed on Richie’s chest with his index finger.

“Me? I was...It’s not my turn yet”, Richie grinned and made a face at Mike. Suddenly he felt a heat in his cheeks. It normally didn’t bother him when people were looking at him, au contraire, actually, he enjoyed it. He was a show host, dammit! But right now, in that second...A pair of eyes was smothering him.

“Take it easy, Mikey”, Eddie interrupted. “He mustn’t admit the only relationship he’s ever had was with his right hand.” Eddie gave him a warm wink.

“Alright, years left, years to come and I still wanna puke”, you heard your fiancé blurt out. Everyone was laughing and the atmosphere seemed as calm as it could be. You kept playing for a few rounds and suddenly you had to ask Richie.

“Okay, Richie from the ditchie”,  you smiled, “Tell me: Truth or dare?”

You stared at your best high school friend with deliberate provocation in your eyes. The two of you had played this game over and over and every time Richie had made you do some extra foolish shit. Today was the day to let justice win.

“Dare, baby. All over.”

“Okay.”

For a second you asked yourself if you could do it, if you could really ask your best friend to do the thing he was the most afraid of but would or at least should also make his life a whole lot more interesting. Actually, he should be thankful if you did, you thought.

Richie had a secret and you had little but still had knowledge about it. You were the only one to know and you had promised to keep it a secret. It was an asshole kind of move, but so was it that one time when Richie forced you to sneak into Henry Bowers house. That was the time he almost murdered you and you had to talk yourself out of it by telling him you were secretly into him and had sneaked in to write him a note. That was the worst summer of your life, you decided and you shivered.

“I dare you to kiss Eddie on the lips.”

For a good second, everyone was quiet and you could hear someone gasping. It was Ben.

You looked Richie right in the eyes and saw frustration but also surprise there. It was almost as if he was gonna ask you “Why?” if there just wouldn’t have been all those people.

“Oh, come on, Rich. Everyone here has kissed everyone here...I mean, almost. Or. Okay. Maybe it was just Bill and Beverly, then Ben and Beverly [now a couple], then me and Beverly and even Bill and Mike [for scientific reasons - the project failed and Bill was now happily married]. Don’t make a fuss.”

“She’s right”, Mike said and gave Bill a curious look. Bill laughed and pretended to look at his phone.

“When did you and Beverly kiss?”, Stan suddenly asked and you looked at him in shock.

“Oh, shit”, you said and sounded a little too tipsy. “Okay, it was before us...And it was only one kiss.”

“And what a kiss”, Beverly added with a grin. Ben laughed awkwardly and grabbed Beverly harder by her waist. She gave him a short kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, so what now?” Eddie asked, almost impatiently.

Your face went from Eddie to Richie and back to Eddie.

“This is bullshit. We don’t...I mean, we don’t have to do this. This is a bullshit game and no one really cares if...”

“Are you gonna do it or what?” Eddie lifted his left eye brow and watched how Richie frowned in confusion.

Eddie groaned like he had before and all of a sudden took Richie’s face in his hands. Richie felt how his heart slipped down his stomach. He gasped for air, right before he felt how Eddie pressed his lips against his own. For a short moment he couldn’t even close his eyes and just stared in disorientation, then he felt how slowly his eyes closed.

It was...the most beautiful kiss he had ever experienced in his whole life. Eddies lips tasted like coffee and Bacardi and even a bit like his inhaler. He felt his heart beat through his chest as Eddie softly strengthened his grip on Richie’s face.

After a few seconds he felt how Eddie slowly pulled his head back. When he opened his eyes again, he looked into a pair of warm, acquainted eyes.

“Could be worse, right?” Eddie quipped, suddenly sounding like a mixture of serious and sleepy. His voice was higher than it was before and he didn’t take his eyes off of Richie as fast.

“Sure”, Richie spoke under his breath.

That was the second Beverly put a satisfied look on her face and continued to spin the bottle. Everyone was doing normal things again but for Richie the time seemed to move in slow motion.

Suddenly you felt bad. Maybe you shouldn’t have. Maybe...

“Honey, I’ll just go to the kitchen and grab some fresh glasses”, you said to Stan and vanished like a flash.

After entering the kitchen and before you heard the door slam, you heard Richie calling “I’ll help you!” from behind you. Before you could get away, he stood already in front of you.

“Why?”, he asked you.

He looked at you with slight disappointment in his eyes. The rest seemed just...tipsy.

“I’m sorry, Richie. I don’t know why I did that. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have. I really don’t...I’m so sorry”, you said, trying to calm yourself rather than him, because he seemed surprisingly calm.

“I just-”

“Do you guys need any help?”, you suddenly heard somebody asking. It was Eddie. You didn’t hear when he entered but you were pretty glad that he had come in.

It was true. It was just a stupid kiss and what one would make out of that. It was not your fault that Richie seemed to maybe see more in that game of Truth or dare than there actually was. People had to kiss other people all the time for that exact reason. You had kissed Beverly, Mike had kissed Bill, all for that reason. Why should Richie be spared?

“Actually, we do. I’ll take these glassed out, maybe you could help Richie with the snacks. Thank you, Eds”, you smiled at him, as he gently grazed your arm.

“Anything for the bride.”

With those words, you vanished. Back to the others. Other than for Richie, Eddie seemed less concerned about the kiss. Actually, he seemed...content.

“I can take care of the snacks. You can go back and...”

“Can we talk about it?”

Richie felt how the blood in his veins froze. “About what?”

“The kiss.”

Oh no. Oh no. He would totally mention how he had noticed what Richie felt and that he could never have the same feelings...not for a man. Not for Richie. He felt quiet nauseous.

“I hope it won’t do any harm on our friendship, that’s all”, Richie lied and told the truth at the same time. “I mean, it’d be the fucking worst. I’ll never play truth or dare again for the sake of-”

“Richie...”

“Also, what are we? Teenagers maybe? We’re fucking adults! Can’t we act like it? [Yikes.] People of our age don’t play games at parties anymore, no, they rather do-”

“Richie.”

Before he could keep talking, he felt how Eddie tried and pressed him against the breakfast table. Richie was awkwardly bent over aback while Eddie was coming nearer. He couldn’t take his eyes of him for a second. Even though Richie was tripping backwards, Eddie wouldn’t stop and went along until they had reached the wall.

“Richie, I want you to kiss me.”

Eddie wasn’t really this confident when he was sober. Sure, he was not really shy and especially not around Richie. But right in that second he exuded some kind of dominance that made Richie weak by his knees. He stared at him and tried to say something just to close his mouth again.

“But...why would you...”

“No talking”, Eddie ordered, almost craving. He placed his hands gently on Richie’s chest and let his fingers run up and down through the material of his shirt. Richie felt how it slowly became harder to breathe. “Just kiss me”, he said. His eyes followed the structure down from his head to his feet just to get to his eyes again. He bit his lip and for Richie it was inexplicable how one person alone could be so damn hot.

His lips could only form two words, before he let go of all.

“Oh fuck.”

After that he placed his hands on Eddie’s hip and pulled him closer, so close, that nothing could ever fit between the two of them. After shortly looking into his eyes, he almost lost himself in them.

He felt the relief of eventually placing his lips on Eddie’s. It was the best feeling ever. Under his breath he could hear how Eddie softly moaned into his mouth. His tongue circled shyly along Eddie’s lower lip, then always faster. Eddie placed his hands in Richie’s dark hair and gently pulled a bit.

It was romantic and slow but it was also expectant and so damn past due.

After quiet some time, Richie felt how Eddie pulled his head back. He was breathing heavily and looking at him with a look in his eyes that Richie had never before seen on Eddie.

“What is it?”, he whispered.

“I-I wanted to ask you...ask if maybe you wanna continue but in my bedroom.”

What had begun and sounded like an unfunny joke in the beginning, was now Richie’s life long dream which became true.

“We don’t have to...I mean...you don’t have to think you’d have to do anything that you don’t really...”

“I want it”, Eddie burst out. He coughed slightly. “I mean...I want it. I do”, he said in a soft voice.

“Isn’t it...quiet early to say I do?”, Richie asked and gave his friend a big, confident grin.

“I should have said it years ago”, Eddie said and smiled.

They stood there looking at each other for a few seconds, when Eddie grabbed his hand.

“Okay. Sneak me in, Eddie spaghetti.”

“There is no spaghetti for you if you call me that again”, Eddie laughed and Richie laughed, too, knowing he was joking. Oh shit, he wanted him.

And that was the only thing he had wanted for years.

Actually...forever.

[cards-onthetable]

An Elusive Computer Post

Y’all, 99.999% of the time, I exist on my phone and tablet. It’s very rare that I do any Fandom Stuff or social media on my laptop. But tonight, after This Episode, I had to break out the big guns. I need to be able to type as fast as my brain screams words. tl;dr: EVERYTHING IS THE WORST AND I HATE IT. Hey I’ll do a fun little page break so you don’t have to scroll past this whole thing if you don’t want to. How nice of me. 

Erin

OPENING SCENE AND ERIN’S ALREADY YELLING AT PEOPLE. COOL. 

JUST DON’T with this foster parent (allegedly) killing a foster child thing. Foster parents have enough of a negative perception as it is... a foster parent who “cracked” and killed a child in her care certainly won’t help. And I know this won’t turn into a well-done, thoughtful Discourse on the lack of support and resources for foster parents who are caring for children with complex needs. So I hate it. 

I’m so, so, so sad for this child.

Sidenote re: Sam saying “I’ve already got a mom” (explaining why he didn’t call his foster parent “mom”) - okay, BB, one actual sensitive portrayal here, thumbs up. 

Welp Erin’s boss is an asshole but so’s everyone else on this show. What else is new? 

And now Sam is locked out of his new foster home. Another nice tally in the Negative Portrayal column. This is disgusting. His appreciation for his previous foster parent is obvious (this kid’s a ten times better actor than fucking Will “Dead Face” Estes at this point) and I hate this entire concept. At least the show’s portrayal of the child in foster care himself is positive. 

Now Sam’s at Anthony’s house and this is off topic, but for half a second can we appreciate that Sam is also a bajillion times better at apologies than Jamie Reagan? Nice. 

If Anthony becomes Sam’s foster parent I will be SO ANNOYED. One, because I’m sure the show won’t even hint at an accurate process - it’ll be insta-parent, Anthony walks into some caseworker’s office and walks out with physical custody of a child (fun fact: it takes three months or longer to get licensed as a foster parent). Two, because it’s kind of another blow to the reputation of foster parents that this episode is painting - like the only suitable foster parent in a whole city of veteran, trained, experienced FPs is this newbie? This does not taste good. 

This is a cute scene. Rather than Anthony being Sam’s foster parent, how about he becomes his mentor? 

OH. NICE. EXACTLY WHAT I DIDN’T WANT. “I’m going to sign the papers later today. I’m going to foster Sam myself.” Can we please get some follow-up on this, BB? Let’s please see Anthony trying to navigate the waters of parenting a teenager who likely has attachment-related diagnoses and other challenges. Is Anthony going to get trauma-informed care training? Or is he just going to wing it and hope that it’s all magical and swell? Does he have a sensitive, non-snarky bone in his body? I’m on the edge of my seat. (LOL @ Erin being the voice of reason here.)

OH. WHOA WHOA WHOA. “It’s not like I always wanted a son, but one came knocking and I answered the door.” Remember that line above where Sam reminded us that he has a mom? Do you understand why this line made me gag? There’s a fine line you walk as a foster parent, where you’re performing all the duties of parenting this child as if they’re your own - but you have to remember and be sensitive to the fact that they’re not. Kids in foster care are a package deal, yo, they come with a whole other family too. For teenagers this is an especially important Issue. 

This entire storyline was terrible. 0/10. 

Fat Shaming (Frank and co)

Poor Witten, you guys. That is awful and terrible and dangerous that her partner can’t even make it up 4 flights of stairs. “I’m here and you’re fine” - but what if she wasn’t? 

Did Sid Gormley just use the word “fat shaming” and argue that physical fitness does not affect a cop’s ability to do their job? 

Cops who are on the beat should be able to pass a fairly high standard for physical fitness. The end, basically.

Family dinner (tossed in here due to the topic of conversation): Seriously? Henry’s going to talk about it being discrimination to require cops to meet a physical fitness standard that is a pretty basic aspect of their ability to do their job? Nice. 

Oh, magical, Frank has come up with a Compromise that Makes Everybody Happy. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. 

Danny

TBH I hardly noticed this storyline at all. I’m much too busy angrily scribbling all of the examples of Dismissive Jamie on my whiteboard. Oh well, win some lose some. 

Jamko

The way Jamie brushes Eddie off during this whole New Partner Discussion is gross. Refer to yesterday’s Two Pronged Complaint for the details. 

The Biggest Issues: Jamie minimizing Eddie’s experience on the job, and being too protective of her/failing to be an objective boss. Et cetera. 

“wHaT eLsE dOn’T I kNoW?” suck a dick, Jamie Reagan.  

Peep those obviously empty coffee cups that probably have a piece of dry ice at the bottom to make the “steam.” A+. 

I’m going to keep track of how many times “female empowerment” is said in this episode. I’ll keep you updated. 

So this “fraternal organization” that we’ve all been so stressed about Eddie joining is...basically a women’s intramural sports league? LOLOL so I’m super excited to watch Jamie sputter about how Joe died playing softball* and therefore Eddie shouldn’t join. 

LOOK AT EDDIE. She is legitimately excited about the idea of playing softball, dude. That smile is as much personality as we’ve gotten out of her all season. CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH JAMIE “WET BLANKET” REAGAN SNUFF THAT RIGHT OUT. 

This ~date night~ situation is hilarious in a Young Childless Couple way. 

OH, so NOW Jamie’s interested in a legitimate conversation with Eddie, engaged and responding... with questions in a demanding, rude tone? I’m so annoyed at his whole handling of the Eddie’s-new-partner thing.

GOD why is everything a Female Empowerment Thing? Can’t women just... enjoy playing sports? 

OH HERE’S WHERE IT GETS FUN HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS 

BAD IDEA

YOU’RE ABOUT TO BECOME A REAGAN

THAT’S A NO-GO

NOW YOU’RE JUST BEING STUBBORN

“No, I’m being astonished that my fiancé is trying to tell me what I can and cannot do” SAME, EDDIE 

I’m so angry that the scene cuts off there. Did they just go about their stupid dinner date with this Tension floating palpably in the air between them? Did Eddie pull out an “I think I’ll sleep at my place tonight” and stalk away in that red? satin? dress? ? I hope she poured his stupid ON TAP IPA (objectively the worst type of beer, btw) down his shirt and walked out. 

I AM SO SAD watching this scene of Eddie backing out of softball. 

“I’m not much of a joiner” is a DUMB RIDICULOUS LINE and Eddie says it TWICE, folks. 

Witten doesn’t bring up Jamie at all - I therefore assume she doesn’t know Eddie’s a Future Reagan (which is a whole other issue, but anyway.) . Witten thinks Eddie’s backing out so as to avoid associating with Witten. So I assume Witten’s intentions with the softball invite were totally pure. IMAGINE THAT! A woman who wants to be friends with another woman, one who she works with and respects and wants to get to know better! With no ulterior motive! Someone please hit Jamie Reagan in the nostril with a dart. 

I like Witten more and more. Can we replace all the Reagan storylines with Witten, Sam, and Old Eddie in dark jeans and a studded jacket?

A LAUNDROMAT? ONE: Shouldn’t Jamie, as A Reagan, have laundry in his building?* TWO: It he didn’t, why wouldn’t they do laundry for free at Frank’s house every week?*

I CAN SMELL THE TENSION and I am legitimately curious how they’ve coexisted between the date and now. How’s that working out, hmm - that “keeping work and home separate” thing? 

“I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO, I ASKED” says Jamie. Shall we go back a few bullet points to when he told her it’s a “no-go”? 

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT ELSE I NEED TO KNOW - Same, Eddie. Do I really need to reiterate how ridiculous this whole thing is - that they’re engaged without dating, and now finding out that maybe there’s a reason people date first, even if they’re best friends, because this is the kind of stuff you work out before you start shopping for your dress.

“Are we talking, or are we just talking smack?” SOME ACCUSATION from the dumbass who said ALL THE THINGS IN THOSE BULLETS UP ABOVE. 

Finally, for once, Eddie is voicing some real and legitimate concerns. Are we going to get any sort of resolution or mature adult discussion of these things? NOPE! 

Did he seriously just tell her to cut it out? I hate him so much. I hope somebody duct tapes him to the front of those washer/dryers and pulls out each individual eyebrow hair with tweezers. 

This laundromat scene just exemplifies so many of the issues I’ve been rage blogging about all damn season. Jamie ultimately brushing off Eddie’s concerns without ever giving her real answers. Not having the respect for her to even take her thoughts into account. Barking orders like he knows it all, and Eddie isn’t capable of making her own decisions. At least this time that’s the actual point of the scene rather than the nasty subtext. 

EDDIE AND DANNY SCENE: I’m actually surprised that this is the first time Joe has been mentioned. Watching the sneak peek I figured Jamie’s main argument against Eddie joining an organization would be that it’s what got his brother killed (being vague, obviously, since Eddie clearly didn’t know the details). Not that it’s improper As A Reagan. I hoped the context of the episode would make me feel a little better about this scene but it just feels even more out of place and poorly/choppily written. I like Eddie and Danny together - I’d like them to interact more. But this didn’t do it for me. Gotta meet that Joe Mention Quota* on the season, I guess. 

FINAL SCENE: in summary, FUCK THIS. 

Sidenote: When is someone going to get suspicious @ how often Eddie gets pulled into Sarge’s office? 

For the record, I anticipated an eye-rolly “Ohhkay, maybe I overreacted...” speech. 

WHAT WE GOT FELL BELOW EVEN THAT VERY LOW BAR. 

Jamie explains himself. Fine, he has a right to do that, and it’s constructive in helping Eddie understand the man she’s about to marry (god don’t even remind me). BUT HE DOES NOT ADMIT ANY WRONGDOING. 

THERE IS NO APOLOGY

THERE IS NO ADMISSION THAT HE MADE MISTAKES in how he spoke to her, ordered her around, and didn’t even stop for eight seconds to listen to what she had to say

THERE IS NOT EVEN THE VERY MINIMAL “I overreacted” type of acknowledgment. 

“So maybe if I forget sometimes, you can remind me” THIS IS GROSS TOO because it essentially puts the burden on Eddie to teach/remind Jamie how to HAVE AN ADULT CONVERSATION AND NOT BE AN ASS. He could AT LEAST take responsibility for his own improvement in the Future. 

Eddie said literally two words in this entire scene. There was no mutual understanding, no real agreement, no genuine Development in their relationship. 

THIS IS NOT A SATISFACTORY RESOLUTION TO THIS CONFLICT. 

This episode is called Rectify but NOTHING HAS BEEN RECTIFIED. 

ALSO, this seems like an awfully Personal conversation to be having in uniform, Sarge. Are they even trying anymore? 

HE JUST THREW A SOFTBALL GLOVE AT HER. Is that supposed to be... sweet? Touching? An admission of guilt/mistake/wrongdoing? TRY AGAIN, BB. NONE OF THE ABOVE. 

WELL. If you’ve made it this far, I hope you’re as disgruntled as I am. Seems like plenty of y’all were quite unhappy with this episode as well. I’m enjoying your tweets and sadness. I’ve been the queen of this club for almost a year now. Welcome, make yourselves comfortable, there’s plenty of ice cream in the freezer. Just don’t sit on the far end of the couch. That’s my dog’s favorite spot. 

*These four hilarious lines were taken from two important Outside Sources. Thanks for your contribution, Outside Sources. 

[pinkletterday]

Future Perfect

(A Westallen Campfire Tale)

(with new revisions)

Way back in S3, when I was still grappling with my unaddressed Westallen baggage, I made a Season 1 AU.

Dawn Allen of the original timeline follows Thawne and her father to Flashpoint but comes out in 2014. She gets stuck there much like Thawne did, because her timeline had been erased. So she creates a fake identity and gets a job at the CCPD as a fellow lab tech filling in for Barry while he's in a coma and decides to bide her time and watch over her father as he gains his powers.

In Dawn Allen's timeline, Barry's family moved away when he was twelve and he lost touch with Iris till he came back to Central and joined the CCPD. Meanwhile, Joe and Iris grew increasingly distant, Iris chafing at Joe's restrictions and Joe growing sterner and more fearful till they became alienated. When Iris discovered the truth about her mother, the estrangement was completed.

Barry and Iris fell in love almost immediately and married soon after. They were both much older when the Particle Accelerator blew and gave Barry his powers.

Iris was considered the first lady of the JLA and the matriarch of the Flashes. Dawn grew up idolizing her parents love story and their achievements, although always rather puzzled at her mother's distant relationship with Grandpa Joe. Henry died of natural causes in his fifties but Nora lived to old age and was a loving mother-in-law and grandmother.

When Dawn Allen arrives in 2014, she finds herself already losing memories of her beloved grandmother. She preserves all the memories of the original timeline in her own version of Gideon created by Barry expressly for his children, in which he has stored his and Iris's own memories to call their children home wherever they may be.

At first she is eager to see for herself how her parents' love story plays out. But soon gets upset when her mother starts sleeping with some guy who's also the ancestor of the man who destroyed their family. The upset turns to horror when she realizes Barry has no intention of telling Iris the truth.

With every bold-faced lie that drives the wedge between Barry and Iris further, Dawn becomes more and more disillusioned and heartbroken. She cant reconcile these people with the image she has of her parents. She was always cold to Eddie, but where once she was eager to please and warm with Barry, she now almost hates him.

But it's Joe that's the real cause of all this. Barry coming to live with them may have saved Joe and Iris's relationship, but neither of them ever challenged his authoritarianism and simply accepted his fear-based, patriarchal worldview. Henry and Nora weren't perfect but Barry growing up with a strong female presence meant that he never saw Iris as someone to be protected. Iris's hard-won independence and self-focus away from her father never materialized in this timeline, instead being caught up in the emotional needs of the men in her insular little family and letting it define her.

Things finally come to a head when Thawne finally reveals himself. Dawn takes him by surprise and helps Barry take him down but the timeline is irrevocably broken. Even if Barry went back and reset events, Dawn's own future would still be erased, and along with it her memories. She finally explodes, taking Joe and Barry to task for treating Iris with such disrespect, finally telling Eddie that she cant help resenting him for being the one who loves her mother the way Barry is supposed to and expressing her irrational unhappiness at how Iris hadn't chosen Barry, despite having been best friends for years. These are not the parents she has idolized, and she despairs of ever being able to return to the family she left behind, or see them the same way again.

Barry and Iris, Eddie and Joe see the memories Dawn's parents have stored in Gideon flashing through the time vault - their reconnecting, Barry proposing to Iris, their wedding, working as a team from the first, having children, Iris always being Barry's lightning rod.

Iris is betrayed and devastated and cant even begin to process it. Joe is bowed under the consequences of his duplicity. Barry is full of regret and guilt. Only Eddie finally realizes that no matter how much he loves Iris, he never had any place in this story.

Iris objects.

"I don't belong to anyone. My life is my own."

"Is it? So what. You're just going to let Dawn be erased?"

"I don't know. Am I supposed to just get over all of this so Barry and I can get together and save her?"

"That's up to you, Iris. All I know is that I don't belong here."

"That's not true. You belong to me. I'm choosing you, Eddie."

"There's a difference between choosing something just so you get to choose and choosing because you really want it, Iris."

"What're you saying?"

"I know you love me. But it's never been me you've really wanted."

Cisco then realizes that that timeline could not have disappeared without causing a paradox. The other timeline still exists, albeit in flux, anchored by Dawn's own presence as a time remnant. They figure out a way to use Dawn's memories stored in Gideon to piece the timeline back together so that it coalsces into an alternate universe running parallel to this one. Just as Barry created the speed force but once created it encompasses the length and breadth of time itself, they can create Dawn's universe so that it was always birthed by Earth1, which in turn created Dawn's AU, looping the universes together.

They have to use Eobard's expertise, Cisco's powers, Dawn's energy as a touchstone and Gideon's time drive to do this. At first it seems as though they have failed. Eobard turns on Dawn in a fury - only to be blasted back by her mother, appearing through the restored timeline like a wrathful Sigourney Weaver. Dawn's father, full-fledged, mature, experienced superhero, more than Thawne's equal, finally gets to fight his nemesis and beat him soundly.

In the aftermath, Dawnie sobs out all her woes in her parents arms. Instead of being appropriately shocked and horrified however, they are mostly concerned and amused. Iris reveals that she once walked out on Barry in the early years of his superhero career and that he moved out once when they were very small. The relationship Dawn has idolized has never been perfect, never been free of bad choices and conflict. But its still special because it means they chose to rebuild it time and time again, forgave each other and chose each other no matter what.

"We're not some gold standard, Dawnie. We're human and we mess up. That's how we know it's real."

Older Barry goes to talk to Iris. She asks him about what it was like when he first got his powers and worked as a team with his wife. Then asks him sadly what she had done to not be what her Barry needed. Older Barry tells her gently that we each wrestle with our own demons and the consequences of that struggle sometimes fall unwittingly on our loved ones, but not as a punishment. He tells her that he cant claim to be morally superior or better than his younger counterpart, because he doesn't know who he would be if his own parents had been ripped away, or who younger Barry would have become if Joe hadnt been there to protect and love him, flawed and imperfect as that love was. At the end of the day, Iris has to choose what she wants to do with those consequences. Nothing she chooses is either good or bad, but simply her own to face.

Older Iris speaks with Barry. To her amusement, he reminds her more of Don than her husband.

He says he is sorry to have treated her counterpart so shabbily.

"I think that's something she should hear, not me."

"Aren't you disappointed in me too?"

"Why? You're not my kid." She laughs, "Okay, so if I was her I'd kick your ass. But I'm not her. I've lived a lot longer and seen many stupid choices made by people who should know better. Fact is, Barr, you're a kid and you made a mistake. Doesn't mean you get a free pass, but it isn't the end of the world."

"What if she never forgives me?"

"Then you have to live with that. You have to live with it and still forgive yourself." *sigh* "You can't let your choices be defined by other people, Barry. Not even the ones you love. That's where you went wrong. You thought you'd tell her about your feelings only if she loved you. You thought you'd tell her the truth only if she saw you first. You didn't stand up to Joe because you were afraid of his disapproval. God knows no one can stop you once you go full tilt, Barry Allen, but you can't hold yourself back from the things you need to do because other people won't give you what you want."

"I was angry." *buries face in hands* "I told myself it was because Joe told me not to tell her, but honestly it was because I was angry. I woke up and she was with Eddie. She saw him, she saw the Flash but never ever saw me." *slumps* "I know that's awful."

*shrug* "It's how you felt. What you did was bad, but feelings aren't wrong or right. They just are."

"But he was better, wasn't he? Your Barry?"

"He's different. He lived a different life. We didn't grow up together. We weren't each other's first loves. He's not perfect, Barr. Neither am I. We've hurt each other pretty badly too. But he and I...we fall in love with each other a little more after every break. And every single time, it feels a little more precious."

Older Iris finally goes to see Joe. He's almost broken.

"Dawn told me I don't have much of a relationship with you where you come from."

"No. I was headstrong, you were controlling."

"Guess I'm destined to mess it up, then."

"Destiny has nothing to do with it. You were the one who lied. The one who's still lying." *meaningful look*

*crying* "I'm going to lose her forever, aren't I?"

"Maybe." *sigh* "I couldn't forgive you for the longest time. But then sometimes, with Barry, with my own kids...don't get me wrong, I hate what you did. But maybe I get why."

"I always told myself that it was to protect you. But I think it became more to protect myself."

*weary shrug* "That's usually how it goes. Kids are hard." *wry smile* "I guess we all only start forgiving our parents once we have our own."

*weak laugh* *scrubs face* "What do I do?"

"Let her go."

"What?"

"Let her go. Let her feel what she wants, do what she wants. Maybe she'll come back to you. But you need to build a life for yourself that doesn't involve her."

"I don't -"

"The only way to be a good parent is to stop living for your kid so your kid gets to live for themselves. Figure out who you are when you're not a cop or a father. You can't put it all on her...Dad."

"Guess you really have learned from my fuck-ups, huh?"

*modest shrug* "Can't make 'em all myself."

Cisco opens a portal and Older Barry and Iris stand flanking their daughter, saluting a final farewell to their younger counterparts and Joe.

Barry goes back to talk to Iris.

"You don't have to see me or talk to me," *leaning his forehead on her door, fingertips trailing over it as though to feel hers through the wood* "I know I haven't been any kind of friend that you deserve. But I need you to know. You asked me if I laughed at you, if I looked down on you. I never did. It wrecked me not to tell you, to hold myself back from telling you the truth. I don't even know why I did it. All I knew was that you looked at me the way I had wanted you to my entire life, and I was too greedy and selfish to let that go. I never let myself think what would happen when you finally found out. You know I'm good at not thinking about consequences. Like that time I tried to impress you by climbing old Mrs.Leroy's crabapple tree. I didn't think, I just did it and I got stuck, Iris. And this time you couldn't be there to talk me down. Because it was you I was hurting," *trying not to cry* "I don't know how to make it right with you, or if I ever can. I don't expect anything of you, or hope for anything more than you're ready to give. But please just let me know whatever you need to not hurt anymore. And I promise I will never ever lie to you about anything ever again" *chuckles through tears, remembering their old childhood vow* "I promise on all the mac and cheese in the world. On all the miles I'll ever run. On all the memories you've ever given me. On everything that I love. I promise, I promise, I promise." He wipes his eyes on his sleeve and leaves, not knowing that Iris is sitting down on the floor next to the door, silently crying.

In the morning he finds a letter telling him that she needs some space but she'll come back and talk once she's ready.

Six months later, Barry gets a call as he weaves through the summer rain in front of Jitters. It's Iris.

He stands stock still and stammers if she's decided to come back.

"Yeah, I have. I think I'm ready to make a clean start, if you are."

"God, yeah. I am," he laughs, bewildered by his good fortune. "I meant it, Iris, I don't expect anything -"

"I know," she says quietly. "And I don't think I'm ready for...that, yet. I might be, eventually though," the world stops and he's afraid to breathe wrong. "But I swear to God, Barry Allen, if you ever lie of hide anything from me again -"

"I won't, I swear! I promised didn't I?"

"Yeah. You did," he can hear the grudging smile in her voice and his heart lifts.

He clears his throat. "When are you coming? Do you want me to pick you up or-"

"I'm already here, actually."

"Wait what?"

"Look behind you."

Iris stands across the road, waving at him. He draws up in front of her as though in a dream.

"Hi," he breathes, a grin blooming uncontrollably.

She tucks a curl behind her ear, reflecting his tremulous joy back at him. "Hi."

Just like that, they fall in love again. And this time, it feels a little more precious.

[bi-bi-richie]

buddy holly-weezer, stanverly, getting into a street fight

I’m so sorry this is so long!! I really didn’t mean to go off on Stan’s sexuality but he’s such an interesting character to explore! But thank you for the prompt I had a lot of fun writing it!

Playlist, prompt list, send me an ask!

Derry isn’t exactly well known for good places to eat, but they do have the Tozier Diner. Now, part of the reason any of the losers go there is that Richie’s parents own the place, the other reason is the complete judgment-free safe zone the whole diner is. Every loser has taken their dates there, starting with Bill and Mike, going to Richie and Eddie, Bill, Mike, and Ben.

Richie once told the losers that the diner is the trick to making relationships last forever, now it hasn’t been proven since every couple is still living their relationship, but Richie is engaged to Eddie now so who knows?

With Richie’s, possibly true, proclamation, it was a big step to take your date with you to the diner. So, naturally, Stan is nervous as fuck as he walks towards the door hand in hand with Beverly.

His relationship with Bev, in short, was the least expected out of all the losers. Everyone knows that Bill had a thing for her a few years back, but then Mike stole his heart. Ben was crushing big time on her at the same time, but both Bill and Mike ended up getting all the boy’s love. So, when Stan had a crush on her, everyone expected the same outcome. He wasn’t exactly sure why he liked Bev, he always told himself it was just because she was pretty. After all, that’s what Bill and Ben thought, right? Well, his feelings ran way further than looks.

He would watch her jump off the cliff at the quarry, admiring her fearless, thoughtless action every time she went over. He watched her challenge Richie to a game of wits every time he opened his trash mouth, he admired how she beat him time and time again. She could take care of herself, and Stan didn’t dare get in her way when she was mad. Once again, he admired it, she had guts he feared he’d never muster up.

He thought the crush would pass, honestly, he thought he was being ridiculous. Not to mention his sexuality was all over the floor like a bunch of papers spilled from his homework binder. He had just gotten over his crush on Mike! He was gay right? But now he’s here admiring Bev.

Crushing be damned, he thought, I don’t need this shit. Of course, crushing is like a virus. Once it’s there, it’s hard to remove. So every day for a year he walked around with Bev in the back of his head as well as his nagging sexuality questions.

Eventually, he cracked.

He went to Richie, not the best option but he wasn’t Mike, who he used to like, he wasn’t Ben or Bill, who used to like Bev as well, he wasn’t Eddie, who was probably the gayest kid in Derry, and he wasn’t Bev. He went to Richie because he had multiple not-so-secret crushes on tons of girls, but in the end, he started dating Eddie.

“You want… my help?” Richie asked, mid-bite on his sandwich. They were alone at the quarry waiting for the rest of the losers to arrive, but Stan had asked Richie to show up an hour earlier in advance, he also promised a sandwich.

“Don’t act surprised, it makes this worse.” Stan mumbles. He isn’t ashamed of asking Richie for help, he knows the boy is smart as hell, there’s no doubt about that. It’s just that Stan is usually the person to shut Richie’s stupid jokes down before they can go too far.

“Don’t be embarrassed Staniel!” Richie exclaimed as he threw an arm around Stan. “You know I like helping people! I’d love to play therapist!”

“Richie, please. This is seriously embarrassing for me.”

“Formal as always.” Richie sighed, he tucked his arm back to his side and plopped himself down onto a log. “I’m all ears.”

Stan looked down at the dirt. Nerves welled up in his stomach like a swarm of bees. If he was to go any further with this conversation, he would finally find an answer, even if the answer wasn’t something he’s ready for.

“I like Bev… but I know I like boys.”

Naturally, there was an emotional conversation that followed. In the end, though, Stan learned that he was bisexual, which is Richie’s sexuality as well.

“I guess the only thing left now is either getting over or getting under Bev, eh?” that earned Richie a slap to the head.

But he was right. Either Stan would have to spend another year trying to get over her, or he can man up and just ask her out. But, there’s no way Bev could ever like him.

…

Bev rolled her eyes when Stan told her that he was scared she wouldn’t like him. How blind could this guy really be? Somehow he didn’t notice her longing stares in classes they had together, or lasting touches to his skin when they went swimming.

“Honestly Stan, why else would I reject both Bill and Ben? They’re great guys and awesome friends, but I always had my eyes on someone else.”

“I always thought it was because you just didn’t like them… maybe you didn’t like guys at all…”

“Funny enough, I swing both ways.”

Following Stan’s confession, they did end up going on a date to the Aladdin. One date turned into another, then that turned into another, and another, and another.

Fast forward three years and you’ve got a nervous Stan standing outside the Tozier Diner hand in hand with Beverly. Now, Stan never takes what Richie says seriously, after all, there’s no real proof that the diner can ensure a lasting relationship. But, as mentioned before, Richie and Eddie are engaged, so who knows?

“Y’know everything Richie says is bullshit, right?” Bev whispers. She comfortingly squeezes his hand. Stan looks into her eyes and smiles.

“It’s okay, I think I’d be okay if he wasn’t wrong about this.”

Bev smiles at him with her eyes full of love. He’s seen that look so many times in the past three years but it never fails to make his heartthrob. Stan wonders if she feels the same when he watches her, does she understand how he feels for her?  

Then they walk in.

…

Needless to say, the dinner was pretty fun. Richie took on the role of being their waiter for the night, and he took it very seriously.

“Can I take your order, strangers I’ve never met before?”

“Richie, it’s us.”

“Ah! Read the name tag, did you? Two can play at that game. You look like a Lisa, and you look like an Arthur!”

“I expect nothing, yet I’m still let down.”

Surprisingly enough, Richie paid for half their food. He paid for Stan’s meal, claiming that it should be Stan who pays for Bev because it’s classy. But little did Richie know that Bev already planned to pay for her own meal as part of a mutual agreement the two of them have.

When they go to leave the diner, Richie grabs both of their arms with a warm smile. He pulls Bev into a hug and presses a kiss against her cheek.

“Take care of him, Okay?” He whispers. Bev nods.Then he leans over and does the same to Stan.

“Cherish her, promise?”

“Promise.”

…

Stan feels light as air as he walks out of the diner. He’s in the same position that he was in two hours ago, but now he feels better. More in love than ever before. He looks over at Bev and looks into her eyes. He can see the love that shines behind them clearer than ever, something beautifully comforting about the way she watches him.

He forgets the backlash of their relationship. How people used to tell him that Bev was only using him for sex. He lets go of how angry it made him when people assumed he was only with Bev to hit it and quit it. All of that seems so far away because right now, all he can see is her. All he wants his her eyes on him forever, and in return, he’ll never look away from them.

Who knew the fiery girl inside could be my only warmth?

“Beverly?” He whispers as he gets slowly closer to her face.

“Stan?” She responds leaning into him.

“I love you.” He can feel her warm breath huff out of her mouth in a small chuckle.

“I love you too-”

“When are you gonna give it up!?” A strange voice calls from across the street.

The couple breaks apart immediately in shock. It’s not the first time someone has rudely interrupted them before, but the voice is certainly alarming. Stan strains his eyes trying to identify the figure in the dark. It’s not hard to recognize the voice though. Everyone knows that signature, disgusting voice.

It’s Henry Bowers, and he’s slowly walking up to them.

Stan immediately puts himself in between the approaching man and his girlfriend. Of course, Stan knows Bev can hold her own, in fact, the only reason he’s doing this is so she doesn’t go getting herself hurt in three seconds. But, this does only give Bowers bait.

“Oh, I see, too afraid to let the slut see the other options in town huh?” Henry sneers.

“Still hung up on a little someone you couldn’t get, Bowers?” Bev spits at him, and then literally spits at his feet. Henry whistles low.

“Feisty, but all cheap whores are, aren’t they? It’s one thing that makes them all the fucking same.”

“How would you know?” Stan retorts at the taller man. “Even a prostitute would turn you down, no matter how much money you give them.”

Henry doesn’t even spare a glance to Stan, his eyes are locked on the girl behind him who looks ready to jump the first chance she gets.

“Ah, I see. How much money is he paying to keep your piece of ass around, huh?”

“Say it again motherfucker.” Bev threatens.

“Or what? You won’t fuck me when this is said and done?”

Then there’s a loud smack. Skin on skin, sure to bruise, bone to bone, smack. But it’s not a smack, it’s a punch. Someone threw a punch, and it wasn’t Bev. It was Stan. Stan had Henry on the ground, cradling his jaw and looking up in confusion. But his confusion quickly turned to pure, red rage.

“You’re gonna regret that.”

And with that, he stands back up and starts throwing punches at Stan. The thing about this fight is the people involved. Stan is a few inches smaller than Henry, he’s also not as broad or built. In short, Stan isn’t as physically put together as Henry is, this fight is like suicide to the poor boy.

It feels like hell when it really starts going. Stan can hold his own, kicking Henry in the gut or groin, but Henry still gets back up and keeps going. Henry inflicts more damage on Stan though, his punches are harder and he’s quicker. In short, this fight is over for Stan.

But it’s just beginning for Bev. She leans in and grabs Henry’s hair, yanking his head back as hard as she can. He shouts in pain but his mouth is quickly shut by Bev’s knee colliding with it. He drops onto the floor in pain, for good measure, Bev stomps on his stomach once. When he doesn’t get up she grabs Stan’s hand and pulls him up from the floor. He’s leaking blood from his nose and cuts on his cheeks and lips. His eye is already starting to swell, making it a bit harder for him to see clearly.

“Oh, Stan.” She sighs quietly. “Come on babe, gotta clean you up.”

…

When the swell of Stan’s eye goes down he can clearly see that he’s laying in Bev’s bed. She carried him home it seems. He notices how bad his face really hurts, once fiery cuts and bruises have dulled down into a fierce aching pain. He can’t see Bev though, but her bathroom door is open and light is leaking out of it. As if on queue, she walks out with a couple of cotton balls and hydrogen peroxide.

“You know, you really are a dumbass, babe.” She remarks as she makes her way over to Stan.

“Thanks. Is that for me?” He asks pointing at the bottle in her hands.

“I’m applying it to you, okay? You won’t do it right without a mirror.”

“I can stand up and walk.” He grumbles.

“Oh please, you couldn’t even stand up to get here.” The bed dips with Bev’s weight as she crawls on next to her boyfriend. Stan sighs, of course on the one night he wanted to be romantic, he’s gotta go and get into a fight. He never fights. Why now?

“Stan. I love you babe, but why would you run off and fight Henry like that? You know I can hold my own.” Her gentle hands are running a soaked cotton ball across his injuries, but Stan knows she can easily add a new cut if she wanted too. Of course, he knew Bev could fight for herself, but he couldn’t stand by and just let her get catcalled like that.

“I know. But I’m not gonna stay silent about it. You know I’m yours, and I know you’re mine.”

“Well, you got that right.” Bev hums in agreement. When she’s done, she leans down to press a soft kiss against his lips.

“I love you, hero.”

“I love you too.”

[timetofuckingneck]

New Girl (chapter 2)

The losers club x reader

Word count: 912

First one is found here, losers: New Girl 

Requested: oh yes,,,by a lot of you lmao

Summary: Reader is the new girl and makes friends with the losers club cos she decked henry in the face 

Side note: a million apologies for making this super late. hate me. dO IT

You and the losers went to the local pizza store to pick up a few boxes of pizza.

While you were walking with the losers to the pizza store you noticed a very interesting dynamic between the group. It was like they all had a role in some way. 

It was obvious that Bill is the leader. Mike seemed to be the brains and it seemed like Ben was too. They shared strong similarities. Eddie was kind of like the carer of the group, the nurturer. Stan was the one that thought of situations most rationally and didn’t talk much around you. Only spoke up when he had a question/comment on his mind or to tell Richie to shut the fuck up. Richie is the trash mouth, duh. But he was like the rainbow that came at the end of the heavy rain, he always managed to bring joy and make people smile even though he could be a little shit. And Beverly was just such a light in the darkness. Her smile is the most contagious thing you’ve ever seen. 

Once you were all inside the losers started to take out money to give to bill. 

“Shit.”

“W-what’s w-w-wrong?” Bill asked.

“I’m sorry guys, I didn’t bring any money.” You were about to turn and leave. 

“That’s okay. There’s always next time,” Bill smiled at you.

You looked at the rest to see some sign of disapproval towards you, but they only smiled at you. But you waited a second longer for someone to say ‘nah, go home.’

Bev noticed. “It’s really okay,” She chuckled. “We’re all sharing so it’s fine,” She smiled. 

You smiled back and Bill ordered the pizza.

“We never got your name,” Ben stated. 

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N,” You told them. 

Bill came back with a few boxes of pizza. 

“Got the p-pizza. Lets eat.” You all went towards the table near the window.

“NOPE.” Richie called out. You all turned around and see Richie at another table with his face flat against the surface and his arms hugging the edges.

“What are you doing?” Mike asked. 

“I want to sit at this table,” He groaned. 

“The fuck. Why?” Eddie questioned. 

“It understands me,” Richie whispered. 

You raised a brow looking towards the group. “It understands him?”

“Ignore him, he’s just being an idiot.” Eddie told you.

“Eddie spaghetti come here and sit.” 

“Nope, you know how much that name annoys me.” Eddie huffed.

“Okay, fine. But everyone please come sit here.” He whined. 

Nobody moved. 

“PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE-”

“OKAY! WE’LL SIT WITH YOU.” Mike shouted. Everyone walked over to Richie who had a grin plastered on his face. 

“You’re quite interesting, Richie.” You stated as you sat beside Bev. 

“It’s the stupidity and emptiness up here,” Eddie said tapping Richie’s temple, only for RIchie to grab his hand and lick it. 

“YUCK. FOUL.” Eddie screeched as Richie chuckled. Eddie whipped out hand sanitizer and vigorously rubbed and applied it around his hand and between his fingers. “Gross,” He muttered. 

You found yourself liking their friendship very much. They were different in every way but fit perfectly together.

As you all ate the pizza you got a bunch of questions. Like your favorite comic series, favorite ice cream, color, school subject and etc. You answered each one honestly.

“What’s you favorite animal.” Ben asked. 

You thought over it. “I don’t really know…” You trailed off. “Oh! I guess I like birds a lot.” You didn’t notice Stan’s head snap up and looked directly at you. 

“I think they’re pretty neat. So yeah, I guess I love birds.” 

Stan grabbed your shoulders and looked right into your eyes, “You are now my favorite person.”

“Damn it, Y/N. You took my place.” Richie whined. 

“You weren’t even close,” Stan said. 

“Ouch.” He huffed placing his hand over his chest. “Thou hast hurt me.”

Stan rolled his eyes and tried to hid his smile. It seemed like Stan didn’t like Richie but if you looked closely you can see he fiercely cares for him. He just doesn’t show his affection that much, it’s just eye rolls and ‘shut the fuck ups.’

The pizza was finished. 

“We r-ready to g-go?” Bill asked. 

Everyone nodded in response. 

“Well we don’t have any money left for ice cream so we might as well go home.” Ben sighed, 

“O-oh, are you d-d-doing anything t-tonight?” Bill asked you. 

You shook your head no. 

“Well, we’re g-going to m-my house and h-having a h-huge sleep o-over if you w-want to c-come.” 

“On a school night?”

“Yeah, we do it all the time,” Mike chimed in. 

You nodded. “Yeah, I’ll come.”

Bill grabbed a pen from his pocket and took your hand. “G-go h-home and get a s-spare change of c-clothes, a pillow, and a s-sleeping b-bag and c-come to t-this address.” He finished writing down his address on your hand that now had blue ink printed on it. 

“Okay, sweet.” You smiled. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Bev asked you. “In case you just want someone to come along? Keep you company, make sure you don’t get lost? I would say maybe in case you run into some trouble but it looks like you could already handle that.” She smiled. 

“Yeah,” You beamed nodding. “Lets go.”

“We’ll see you guys at Bill’s.” Bev told the boys. 

“Alright.”

Bev linked her arm with yours and went onward. “Okie dokie, lets go.”

i am the wORST WRITER THIS TOOK FOREVER AND ITS SHIT BUT I THINK I’LL DO A PART 3?????? ONLY IF U WANT ME TO LMAO IM SORRY IM A POO 

[fans-of-fiction]

Birds Don’t Float, They Fly - Stanley Uris x Reader(IT)

This is honestly the best shit I’ve ever written. Not to sound pretentious, but for once I’m proud. ok enjoy <3

Prompt - Stan’s loved you since you saved him from Bowers, but he was never able to tell you until Stan and the Losers have a brush with It. You’re the only one who can calm Stanley down after he’s attacked, giving him the chance to express his feelings.

Warnings - Swearing (you know, Richie), sex references (that trashmouth), 

A/N -  Told from Stan’s POV. There’s a flashback in the timeline. Italics = Internal Thought. ‘Italics+Quotes = Past Quote.’ You’re a part of the Losers Club, hun. <3

Words ~ 5341

Summer 1989

The wind whipped past my ears and pulled at my button-up as we⎯minus Bill⎯biked to Neibolt. My feet were spinning around the gears of my bike faster than I would have liked, but I told myself it didn’t matter if Bill was going to hurt himself trying to fight this imaginary monster. We all turned down Neibolt Street like a flock of Geese that began migrating too late in the season, flying with speed for fear of what would happen if we stayed where we were.

Arriving at the withering building, Beverly spotted Bill walking up the front steps and began to yell for him. “Bill! Bill, you can’t go in there alone!” She skidded her bike to a halt, hopped off, and let it hit the street with a metallic clank.

I stopped my bike, got off quickly, and threw the kickstand down. As soon as I looked up from the pavement my eyes locked with Y/N’s and for a second I forgot about the dark threat of the house. I’d fight any made-up monster if it gave me the fucking courage to ask her out. I wish I had done it the first day I met her, but Bowers had made me feel like such a pussy that I don’t think I’d be able to give Bush the time of day.

Spring 1989

School had just let out so the hallways were empty, but somehow I managed to walk down the same one with Henry and his goons. In every other situation, I would have walked away, but Victor Criss had found a dead robin outside and those assholes were kicking it around with their engineer boots. I wanted so badly to turn and leave but Belch Huggins had delivered a kick so nasty I had felt it in my own gut.

“Hey! Leave the bird alone!” I squawked loudly enough to interrupt their laughter. The words hung in the air, unbelonging, like a burp in a silent Bar Mitzvah.

Henry turned to me with a look in his eyes that screamed he was in the mood to break something bigger than a bird and he yelled with such ferocity it was nearly a screech. “You wanna take its place, fucker? Want us to kick you around instead?” Belch and Victor laughed at Henry’s witty slap, but I wasn’t laughing. I could already feel the sweat dripping down the back of my neck. They were maybe forty feet away. If I run now, I thought. Maybe I’ll have a chance.

So without wasting any time I turned and bolted, sprinting down the hallway with two thoughts in my head. Don’t get caught by Henry and Fuck, my lungs hurt. Is this how Eddie feels? I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, ducking down hallways. With one hand on my kippah, I turned around a corner, hoping that the soles of my shoes held up, which they did. They carried me around the corner but not the girl carrying her books. I managed to crash right into her. Books flew and folders opened, dumping papers everywhere as she threw her arms up in surprise and discontent.

“What the-” She yelled angrily, staring down at what was once in her hands. She looked up at me and our eyes locked, giving her time to survey my terrified expression and finish her complaint. “What the fuck, dude.” She said, slightly softer, less angry. “Who are you running from, bolting down the hallway like that?”

As if they heard her ask, Bowers’ footsteps grew louder. “Come here you Jewish freak!” Belch Huggins yelled. I turned around expecting to see Bowers. Suddenly it was as if someone pressed the fast-forward on my life. Everything sped up and I knew that if I got caught I’d be dead meat, but something stopped me from running.

I turned back to the girl, not wanting to leave her with the mess I made, but when I looked at her again, any trace of anger had fled from her face. Instead, it was a look of pity, with an almost unnoticeable undertone of fear. “Bowers?” She asked quickly, but quietly. I nodded. She looked behind me, behind herself, and then to her left before talking again. “Get in a locker.” She could see that I was confused, so taking my hand in hers she pulled me to the lockers. “If you trust me, you’ll get in and you’ll stay quiet.”

She let go of my hand as I got in. I felt a sudden emptiness below my wrist as if she took my own hand with hers before closing the door. I could see through the slits in the metal that she quickly knelt beside her papers, just in time for Henry to nearly run her over. All three of them came close to taking a tumble but they managed to stop and simply stare at the mess.

“Jesus, Bowers,” She spoke, but the voice wasn’t hers. At least not the one that I knew. She sounded so full of confidence and typical disgust that if I had my eyes closed I would have assumed it was Greta Bowie. “Late for your tea party?”

Victor scoffed. Belch giggled. Henry glared. “Where’d he go?”

“Where’d who go, Henry? Your boyfriend?” Henry stepped forward onto one of her papers and began to talk but Y/N put one hand flat on his chest and pushed him back slowly. I was taken aback by her courage. It was like I’d been looking at Y/N in the dark and someone just threw open the blinds. I saw how her face curved and how her hair flowed. All of a sudden I wanted nothing more than to throw open the locker door, grab her by the waist, and pull her in close, but the gang was still there, so I was still trapped.

Victor and Belch began to look agitated, like Henry was fanning the embers under their asses. “We’re looking for Stanley Urine.” Victor squeaked. I winced at the mocking name. They’d been using it since the third grade. I didn’t want Y/N to know me as Stanley Urine, the cowering boy she shoved in a locker. No, not like that. “Real ugly, Boy-Scout lookin’ thing. Seen Him?”

Y/N’s voiced adopted a fresh tone of shock. “Wait,” She held her hand up above her head, palm down. “‘Bout this tall, pressed shorts, curly hair, running like a maniac?” I furrowed my brows in confusion. What was she doing? All three stared at her with reignited rage bubbling in their veins. They nodded their heads furiously. “That asshole came barreling around the corner, knocked my books out of my hands, then took off.” Suddenly it made sense. She was playing them like harp strings.

Belch spoke first. “Where the fuck did he go then?!”

Y/N raised a pointed finger and directed their attention to the exit doors twenty feet in front of her, in behind them. “He skid out those doors. Looked like he was heading for the East field. Playground maybe.”

Without saying another word the bullies took off. Before throwing open the doors, Victor turned to Henry and yelled too loudly for his own good, “That’s the one you like, Henry?” Who only retaliated by giving him a swift kick in the ass before grinding up the dirt of the east field.

Y/N stuck her tongue out and made a retching sound before walking over and opening the locker I was in. I must’ve looked pathetic cause she let a little chuckle echo through her nose. “Sorry I called you an asshole. I had to play into it.” She was being genuine. For a second I wondered why she bothered to help me at all, but she brought me back to reality with her soft, calm voice. A voice too calm for someone who just went toe-to-toe with Bowers. “It’s Stanley, right?”

I chuckled and managed to talk. “Yeah, Stanley Uris. But my friends call me Stan.”

Y/N smiled. “I’d love to hold that honor, Stan.” She laughed. “But I knew it couldn’t have been Urine.”

That time we laughed together, then I noticed her books and papers were still scattered. “Here,” I offered, kneeling. “Let me get these for you.” I expected her to stand while I handed her papers, but she knelt down beside me. Occasionally we would reach for the same paper and our arms would brush⎯Y/N, I thought⎯ or we would look up at the same time and lock eyes⎯Y/N Uris, I thought.

We had collected everything and stood up in unison before Y/N spoke again. “Thanks for helping me collect my things.” She said quietly, almost bashfully. Was she being shy? In front of me? But not Bowers? You’re so confusing, I thought. I think I’m in love. “Well, I guess I should head on my way then.” She said, softer this time. As if she didn’t want to say it at all.

“Oh,” I choked. “Yeah, me too.” We both nodded but remained stationary, neither willing to move away. Even if you can’t ask her out, don’t let her go, Stupid. “Actually,” I said with the last sliver of pride I had after that fiasco. “I’m going to meet my friends in the barrens. If you have nothing better to do, I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”

Y/N smiled so hard her eyes crinkled. “I’d love to, Stan.”

So we walked to the West entrance, away from Bowers and his goons. I flicked up the kickstand of my bike and with Y/N sitting on the handlebars, we were off to meet the losers.

We found the group in the usual spot and I explained what happened at the school. Most of the story was made up of Richie’s commentary, but everyone fell silent when I told them how Y/N handled Bowers

Bill spoke first. “Wuh-well, it’s n-nice to m-m-meet you, Y/N.” He stuttered.

“Mhmm, it’ll be nice to have another girl in the group.” Beverly joked, elbowing Eddie, who continued to stare.

“Yeah,” Ritchie pulled his glasses from his face and wiped the condensation off on his shirt, looking Y/N up and down. “I agree.”

Y/N was beginning to blush, but something Beverly said stuck out in my head. “In the group?” I repeated. “You mean, you guys are cool if she-”

“Joins the Losers Club?” Mike interrupted. “Please do.”

The Losers murmured in agreement and Y/N smiled. It was one of the wide ones that made her eyes crinkle.

And so we were eight.

Summer 1989

“Stan, would you stop staring at Y/N and come grab a stick?”

I turned to Eddie, my eyebrows furrowed in frustration, my cheeks red in embarrassment. He matched my expression and then threw up his eyebrows, as if to say “Yeah, Stan. I can do that too. Now get over here.” I turned to Y/N. She smiled and shook her head before walking past me to the huddled group of losers.

Mike had found and cut eight tiny sticks, all at different lengths. “Everyone chooses a stick. Longest stick stays watch. Deal?” Everyone nodded and murmured mhmm.

Richie was the first to draw. The twig he drew was about the length of his pinkie. “Fuck.” He mumbled as he turned his head to the house. He looked up at it as if the dark, solemn house was a librarian, peering over his shoulder to find him drawing dicks on the cover of Lord of the Flies. Richie shook his head. “Man, I can’t believe I pulled the short straw. You guys are lucky you’re not measuring dicks.”

“Shu-sh-shut up, Richie.” Bill stuttered.

Y/N chuckled and everyone’s heads turned. We stared because for the first time in forever, laughter felt foreign. None of us had laughed in so long. Too long. We were all so intimidated by what may or may not lie in that dead house that we forgot to have fun. Isn’t that what summer’s all about? Having fun?

Y/N noticed everyone’s eyes and promptly figured out why they were staring. “You guys know what?” She said, boldly, in her Greta Bowie voice. “I’m not scared of this house. I feel the same way about going into this house as I feel about doing homework. Sure it’s daunting, but only cause I have no clue what the fuck’s going on. But once it’s done, I can enjoy my summer. And that’s what I intend to do.” She reached towards the small bundle in Mike’s hand and pulled out a twig. It was half the size of her forearm.

“That’s the longest one,” Mike said. Half appalled, half annoyed.

“Well, fuck.” She mumbled. I chuckled. It felt odd, like a forced burp, but I chuckled. Then I laughed. Y/N looked at me and began to laugh too. Then Richie. And Beverly. And suddenly the losers were laughing. All of us were laughing in the dead brush of the Neibolt property, totally forgetting any burden we carried. We felt like kids again.

Though none of us were passionate about running into crackhead houses, but we could now all agree that we’d be happy to go in together. Ben took a deep breath. “I guess that settles it. Y/N stays watch, the rest of us go in.”

The group nodded, and though the mystery contents of Neibolt should have been my priority, I couldn’t take my eyes off Y/N. Even in the face of death, I thought. She’s just so stunning. 

Death. The word tumbled around in my head like a brick in a dryer, before I clenched my fists and pushed it out. There is no monster in that house, I assured myself. No death. No need to worry, Stan. Don’t be fucking stupid. With a deep breath and another glance at Y/N, I took up the front steps of Neibolt, leading the losers.

“You go, Stanley the Manly.” Richie chirped smugly. “Let’s go fight Count Chocula.”

I turned around, unable to leave Richie uncorrected. “We’re not going to fight anything, Richie. We’re going to prove that there is no monster.”

Richie only chuckled and put on a British accent. “Right sir, good ‘ol chap. Let us go. Pip pip cheerio.”

I put my hand on the cold doorknob, twisted, and opened the casket on fear.

Neibolt smelt damp and dark, as if the cellar grew and consumed the whole house. The dust on the windows tinted the sun orange, so that what little light made it through illuminated the floor in a warm, dead glow that resembled a rotting pumpkin.

The group of losers was the only source of heat in the house. “I feel like this place is sucking out my soul,” Eddie said quietly, as if he was afraid something would hear him.

“Are you saying you would rather have it suck your-“

“Richie!” Eddie yelped, only no one laughed this time. Eddie was right. There was something about this house. Something dark.

I clenched my fists again. Don’t be stupid, Stan. Something like that isn’t empirically possible. But then I heard it. It sounded low and soft, like a woman humming a sick child to sleep. The humming flowed through the air and into my soul, so that it no longer sounded like humming. It was my mother shouting my name. It was my scout leader calling us in. It was Ms.Douglas, a curled finger pointing at my chest, commanding a solution out of me, and I had no choice but to answer.

I followed the sound as if it was a trail of candy and I was a little child lost in the woods. Any traces of my friends were blurred in my mind by the filter of pure and simple curiosity. I trailed out of the foyer and down a long hallway before I lost the sound entirely. I turned my head, spinning in circles trying to pinpoint the tune, but it was gone. It wasn’t until I spun to face the way I came before I heard the creaking. I turned to face the door again. The creaks and groans sounded unnatural, fake, as if they were playing through an old walkman. But then the knob began to turn.

It spun to the left, then to the right before making a final full turn to the left. It’s Richie. My brain exclaimed, unaccepting of what it what seeing and hearing. This isn’t real. It’s just Richie. It’s a prank. It’s not real, Stan. It’s not-

The door made a sound that resembled a dying cat as the old bolts wailed together, struggling to hold up the ancient wooden door as it swung open slowly, regretfully. As if the door knew it was releasing something bad. Something evil.

You’re being stupid. There’s no evil. My thoughts cried. Stand your ground, Stanley. Be a man.

The door stopped opening. No light shone through. The room that lay beyond the door was dark and draining. ‘I feel like this place is sucking out my soul.’ Eddie had said. All I could do was agree with him, though I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to agree with Eddie, because admitting that this hell-hole was draining the life out of me was admitting that I was scared.

Turning away from the open door, I began took a quick step down the hall before I saw her. Y/N. Standing at the end of the scuffed, peeling floorboards. She was standing still, looking at me as if she were scared. Seeing her in here made me feel worse than any evil could. Imagining that this house could bring her pain opened up a black pit deep in my stomach, allowing a red-hot ache to flow over my insides. If this dark, decrepit house even dared to bring her fear, I’d burn the whole thing down.

“Y/N?” I called quietly, concern bleeding through my fake confidence. “Y/N aren’t you supposed to be on watch?”

“I couldn’t stay there, Stan.” She cooed. “Not without you.” I was so distracted by her silky voice that I almost didn’t notice how unnatural she sounded. Her voice resembled the creaks and groans. Fake. Not real. But like the humming, it was enticing. Moving towards Y/N was like moving towards road-kill. If you really valued your peace of mind, then you would stay away…but in the end, curiosity grabs you by the balls, and you do anything but stay away.

“Why would you want to come in here?” I joked in an effort to mask my own fear. “This garbage dump is the last place I’d want to be.”

She took a step closer to me. She was so close that I could smell her shampoo. I could have kissed her if curiosity would give me my manhood back. “It’s no dump if you’re here, Stan.” She was practically singing, and I didn’t mind.

“Ha, uh. Yeah.” I mumbled. “Did someone take your place? I’d hate if the police found us snooping around-”

“We don’t have to worry about adults, Stanley.” She interrupted. She wasn’t singing now. She was nearly whispering through her teeth. She put one hand on the back of my neck, the other under my arm placing it flat on my back, pulling me in. “No one’ll find us here, Stanley. No one. We won’t be found, Stanley. No no no.”

She trailed off as she rested her head on my shoulder, but with each sentence she sounded less and less real. It was as if her voice were coming through the radio and someone was slowly turning the dial to the static grey area in between stations. The feeling of worry began to bleed through the admiration. Y/N was no longer a source of heat. I could feel her change in my arms. She became the same dark emptiness that was draining Eddie. Draining me. Draining all of us. Y/N became Neibolt.

I quickly tried to pull away, but Y/N tightened her grip. Her arms were clamped around me, unyielding and ungiving. She spoke again but there was no music left in her voice, no tune, no hum. It was all static. All darkness. “We don’t need to leave Stan. We can stay. We can float. We’ll all float. We’ll all float!”

I yelped and squirmed and twisted in her grip. The sweat that made its way through my button-up made me just slippery enough. I gave one final twist, working my arms under hers. I ducked my head and pushed her back, throwing her off.

No. No, it wasn’t her. The carcass that stood in front of me wasn’t Y/N. It looked like her. Exactly like her. Except her eyes were glazed over, frosted like a sheet of ice over a dead animal. The skin on her face wasn’t radiating her characteristic glow, it was grey, dead, peeling from her face like sheets of slush off a poorly shingled roof. There was no life in her chest. Instead, her missing sternum revealed her open ribcage where black, rotten organs resigned. They looked like vegetables my mother had once left on the front steps. Our cat had gone missing, but my mother figured that if she offered food and wished hard enough, it would come back. But the cat never did, and instead, the vegetables rotted and turned black and mushy, leaving a stain of failure in front of our house.

It was only looking down at my hands that I noticed the blood and chest tissue that covered my fingers. I screamed and kept screaming. I couldn’t stop forcing the sound out. I screamed so hard that my diaphragm hurt. I figured the force and the stench of Y/N’s rotting corpse would make me puke, but somehow I kept it down. I wouldn’t have cared if I puked. I could have thrown up a kidney and I wouldn’t care, because all I could see was Y/N. It was her voice I heard. It was her corpse I saw. It was her blood that coated my hands, and it was real. It was all real.

I stared and screamed some more. I could hear the losers yelling but it was all so distant. Y/N was so close. So close and so real. So real. “Come float with me. Won’t you, Stanley?” She whispered. She was quiet, so quiet, but her voice was a shriek.

And so was mine. I screamed, one final time, and then the world went black.

When I woke up everything was shaking. Bobbing? I turned my head to find Mike’s chest. I glanced at my feet and found Ben and Beverly, each with a leg in their arms. The losers were carrying me.

“Hu-hey, g-g-guys!” Bill managed to squawk. “S-Stan’s awake! P-Put him d-down on the g-guh-grass.”

I felt them put me down on the grass. It tickled the back of my neck but I didn’t care. I looked straight up at the sky. The sun stabbed at my eyes, but it also warmed my face. It made me feel warm. Alive. She’s not alive anymore, my head screamed. I think Eddie asked me a question. He was muttering something about concussions, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t give two shits. Y/N was dead. She was my cat. Gone.

When I closed my eyes I could still see her hair, glowing under the fluorescents that illuminated her and Bower’s gang. I could still feel her warmth and smell her perfume and I remembered that one Friday night in June. The losers were having a sleepover, but I had a nightmare. One that I can’t even remember now, but it shook me to the point of tears. Y/N had woken me up and pulled my head softly into her chest. “It’s okay, Stan.” She cooed, as if I was an injured baby bird. “It was only a nightmare, Stan. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real, Stanley.”

If I listened hard enough I could still hear her voice. ‘Stan.’ I could hear her call. ‘Stan. Stanley.’ “Stanley!” Suddenly I opened my eyes. “Stanley open your eyes. Oh! Stan look at me. Look at me, Stan.” My eyes were frantic. It took a few seconds for my brain to process what I was seeing. It was Y/N, standing above me. There were tears streaming down her cheeks. “Stan? Stan! Holy shit I thought you were over the hedge! What happened in there?”

She wasn’t real. She couldn’t be real. Her blood, Stan. The blood. That was real. I sat up, screamed and pushed myself back. It wasn’t Y/N. It couldn’t be Y/N. I stared at her. I stared and stared, expecting her to die in front of me again. The static spun around and around in my head like a demonic merry-go-round. ‘We’ll all float. We’ll all float.’ “We’ll all float,” I muttered.

Y/N looked so concerned. If that was even Y/N. Could it be? Was there any empirical way? “Stan, what-”

“You said we were all going to float.” I wheezed. “You’re dead, Y/N. You were dead.”

Ben stepped forward. “Stan, what do you mean?” I turned my head and stared at him. I was frantic and he must have seen it because he looked down at me with pity. 

Beverly put a hand on his shoulder. “Y/N never came inside until you screamed, Stanley. By the time she got to you, you were unconscious.” Some of the losers nodded, the others murmured mhmm’s.

I turned back to Y/N. More tears trailed down her cheeks, wetting the canals that led to her chin and down her neck. She stretched a hand out. I didn’t take it. I couldn’t take it. My world was upside down. “That’s impossible.” I croaked. She took her hand back. “That’s not possible. You were-” I could feel the tears welling up my eyes. They started to trickle down my hot cheeks. “You were dead, Y/N. I felt you in my arms. Your eyes, your face, your-your-” I stared down at my hands. They weren’t clean on account of all the dirt, but there was no blood. No stains. No trace of Y/N. I started to cry harder. I looked up at her again, my eyes cloudy with water. It was as if I was looking at her through the bottom of a coke bottle.

The tears had stopped falling down her cheeks when she knelt beside me. She extended her hand out again. Palm up, as if offering something. A little sanity maybe. “Feel my hand, Stan.” I kept looking at her. I blinked tears out of my eyes so I could see her fully. Clearly. I looked at her hand. I was so reluctant. I was scared that if I felt her hand the skin would peel off and It would happen all over again, but there was something about her now. There was no static in her voice. It wasn’t tainted with a hum either. It was just her. It was Y/N. Could it be Y/N? It had to be. I think.

It was the uncertainty that was rotting inside me. For the first time in my life, I didn’t know. I had always known before this. Before Neibolt. Before It. I knew how to treat Poison Ivy. I knew not to fuck with Henry Bowers. I knew I was in love with Y/N. But now I didn’t know if she was even real anymore. I didn’t know if what I was seeing was real. I didn’t know if I should cry tears of joy because she was alive or cry myself into madness because she was worm-food. I didn’t know. I had to know. I had to find out, so I took her hand.

It was warm and inviting. It was real. This was real. This. Y/N smiled. That was real. She offered her other hand. I took it. That was real. Real. Real real real. She was real. It was almost too good to be true. “But you said we were going to float, Y/N. You were in there. I couldn’t have imagined it, Y/N. It was so-”

“Real?” She let out a chuckle. It was out of place but I didn’t argue with it. “All of our nightmares feel real until we wake up, but you’re awake now, Stan, so good morning. It’s 92 degrees in sunny Derry, Maine. A great day to go biking with friends and forget about death houses.”

I chuckled. She always knew how to make me forget what I needed to forget. Forget things like evil houses. Death houses. Dead dead houses. She was dead. “You were dead,” I mumbled. The panic was beginning to bubble violently now. It was sloshing over my bearable limit, over the rim of the pot of my life. “We’re gonna die.” I choked. “We’re all going to float. We’re gonna-”

The words stopped. They wouldn’t come out. I heard Richie make a gagging sound, but it was distant and I was distracted by Y/N anyway. She was close. So close I could have-

I knew why the words wouldn’t come out. Y/N had grabbed me by the collar and pulled me in. Her lips were locked to mine. I could smell her shampoo, her perfume, her chapstick. I could feel her warmth. I could feel her nose against mine. I could see that her eyes were closed. She meant this. She was real and she meant this. So real.

She pulled away and her eyes fluttered open. Those stunning eyes. They weren’t dead. They weren’t iced over like dead-meat in a freezer. They were as vibrant as ever and they drew me in. I was in such a trance that I almost didn’t notice her speak. Her voice was a sweet melody that reminded you of a warm summer day, just like this one.

“We won’t float, Stan. Never. You, me, the losers. We’re birds, Stan. Birds don’t float, they fly.” Y/N stood up. Taking my hand in hers, pulling me up off the dead acidic soil. “So how about we fly?”

I smiled. It was a genuine smile. Y/N had rekindled the fire. My heart burns there too. “You’re right.” I walked over to my bike, the losers watching me carefully. I kicked up the kickstand, threw my leg over, and checked my watch. “Ice-cream shop’s still open.”

The Losers club erupted in cheer. Ben ran to his bike and hopped on with surprising agility. Everyone else jogged to their bikes, pulled them up off the road, and got ready to take off. Everyone except Y/N, who walked slowly over to my bike. She stood bashfully beside me. I was close enough to kiss her. She spoke very quietly. “I’m sorry if that back there was…um. Well if it was-”

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers, finally managing to cherish the kiss now that I wasn’t half dead myself. “I’ve wanted to do that since the first day I met you.”

Y/N chuckled bashfully. “I know.” She leaned in and kissed my cheek. Softly but surely. “Me too.” We both smiled at each other before she leaned in close again, only this time she didn’t kiss me. She only whispered in my ear. “Race you to the Ice-cream shop.” and with uncanny speed she hopped on her bike and sped off, the two of us leading the Losers Club in a mad dash on wheels. We forgot all about Neibolt speeding down that street, Bill triumphantly yelling “Hi-ho, Silver. Away!”

And down Neibolt street, through Derry, away from all the fear and the pain… we flew.

I love you all with my life and I want you to know that the IT imagines aren’t stopping here!

Peace out girl-scouts!

Love, E

(fans-of-fiction)