#i guess I could try TikTok or Twitter but I don't have an account or anything so it probably won't be seen

[watery-melon-baller]

good news: I've collected all my data

bad news: i no longer have an excuse to procrastinate writing

[hoffmansgirl]

Honestly, I’m getting tired. It’s literally bts pics from a tv show. He’s not even playing Jesus in the show. People are just looking for a reason to hate him at this point and it’s really pathetic. I was not okay with him posing with those guys and I felt like people had a genuine reason to be upset with him, but I also thought double standards were rearing its ugly head again. Let’s get mad at nick for posing with guys dressed as Lyle and Erik but let’s like and repost thirst edits of Nick and Cooper made up of scenes from a show where they play … Lyle and Erik Menendez. People are holding him to a standard that other celebrities aren’t held to. He can’t do anything without people picking him apart and “canceling” him. It’s honestly annoying.

YES YES YES 🗣️ louder for the cunts in the back!

nicholas chavez is not problematic.

so. i actually feel so bad for him because it must be so hard. he's just gotten popular how long ago... a month? two? and people are trying to cancel him so bad.

he can't do ANYTHING without getting hate - first people started bringing up his love life - since when is it anyone's business? calling him a bop, a man whore. people are feeling way too comfortable nowadays.

next ━ "nicholas doesn't support the brothers", "he doesn't give a fuck" ━ how can YOU know that. he doesn't owe anyone a ny thing. he doesn't need to be as vocal as cooper is about it ━ as i wrote in here aaand here. i honestly won't even talk about it anymore after this post because it's fucking annoying.

the picture with the dicks dressed as menendez brothers ━ disgusting. i'm not gonna defend this one because well. he could have refused to take it. he's a grown ass man, for gods sake. although, as i mentioned before, he is HUMAN. he is LEARNING how to be a big star, what he should and should not do. let's not pretend we are all angels, bffr. we all make mistakes, and sometimes we don't even realise we do something that might be considered wrong.

now... the (hot) god damn pictures... can we stop being so sensitive and fucking annoying!!!!!! 😁 i saw that post and thought that he looks so good, the brat dance made me smile sooo much ━ then i saw the comments... he is not. mocking. religion. he is not mocking your beliefs or your god.

"cancelling" an actor for being an... actor is fucking embarrassing. i just have to laugh.

why is everyone so obsessed with this man, with everything he does? why are haters the first ones in his comment section? god, even i am not that fast and i'm fucking obsessed with the guy. come on... people just hate to hate.

and! surprise! he doesn't owe you an apology ━ if you're offended by the pictures ━ because it's just the show. people think he dressed up as jesus for halloween... do your fucking research. read the caption. stop harassing the poor man i swear 😭

in this house we don't hate on nick ━ of course he needs to be held accountable for the menendez brothers picture, no explanation needed ━ but nothing else.

it's kinda funny because my man is just working, being an introvert and people think he's a soulless narcissist.

i guess people just hate rich, popular and hot men that live their best life... i kinda feel sorry for them, ngl.

and one more thing before i finish... nicholas' love life. the insults i've seen online are so concerning. why are people so comfortable to comment on other people's relationships? why do people believe everything they see on tiktok or twitter? calling him a "man whore" is wayyyy too much. like let this man breathe around another woman? or have female friends? god forbid talk to another woman...

i don't want to comment on his girlfriend because... i want need her man, why would i even talk about her 😭 i have my own opinion but lemme just not...

woof woof i'm yapping. but yes anon, i agree with you. 100%.

and finally! if u wanna talk about it (or just talk about nicholas...) then my dms are open!

and remember!!!! to treat people with kindness ♡ 🫧

(celebrities are also people).

[no-stupid-questions-official]

ok so i just opened an etsy shop a few days ago, and decided I should make some social media accounts to advertise it with. Prior to this I had zero social media besides Tumblr (and an old instagram account with completely fake info and a different email address). I made a new gmail account for my business as I didn't want my personal one getting spammed with stuff from my shop.

I tried making a Facebook account since I know a lot of people on there who would be interested in what I sell, but at the end of the account creation process it immediately said 'your account has been suspended' with no explanation. like I never actually got into facebook, I just finished the account creation form and instead of doing anything it just said your account is suspended. I made an Instagram account after that and it worked for about a day before also getting suspended. That did have a reason, being "we don't allow fake accounts/deliberately hiding your identity" or something along those lines.

I am pretty confused- looking up the reasons for this happening with either app didn't clear things up at all. I put in all my personal information correctly, on Insta it even had my full legal name displayed, and I had set it to a business account (in case that's relevant here). The account wasn't fake and I wasn't trying to hide anything. To add insult to injury that old fake insta account is still running just fine, and when I checked through it, none of the information entered there was the same as the new one so I don't think that could be the problem. I am also not a criminal or anything lol, just a random young adult, and I truly cannot find anything that would've been suspicious to these companies.

Anyone have a clue why this is happening? And/or any suggestions for decent social media sites that won't immediately block me upon trying to join them? I made a Tumblr for it which hasn't had any problems so far, I guess I'll have to begrudgingly try Twitter and Tiktok (the latter I was really hoping to avoid, but here we are).

[ihatedean]

ik i share tiktok screenshots and whatever but like if 90% of your presence in fandom is just laughing at and criticizing people earnestly enjoying something literally what even is the point of you being in that fandom. when are you having some healthy fun and not making both yours and everyone else's experience miserable. especially Yours!! i used to scroll on anti twitter accounts to point and laugh at How Dumb they were and how They Don't Get It and that's time i could have spent doing something productive. like enjoying my friends' art and sharing some love to them or creating something. or literally just focusing on work and studying lmao

it just sucks. especially in places like these where we're already being treated like shit and blocked by everyone. why are you trying to alienate people even more just because they don't have time to read 20k words on why their interpretations of a ship or the media itself are Wrong and yours are Right— which, by the way, why would anyone want that ever. some people headcanon stuff and make their AUs and they might not make sense to how you view canon, but if they put the effort to write it or make fanart or collages or edits it clearly means something to them and they wanna share it and it costs nothing to let people play with their dolls, even if you're screaming on the inside at how ridiculous you think their point of view is. don't treat them like they're less than you because you're both here Caring.

idk i get it and ive done it A LOT to side-eye someone who has me blocked and says something i don't agree with or literally insults what i like and i share screenshots of tiktok comments that make me roll my eyes, but why hate on someone on this same space who literally WILL see it just because they differ from you in the tags. am i insane for thinking this? do i just not get this fandom and should be throwing tomatoes at my friends for seeing the show differently? like seriously, is that where the fun is?

i guess im used to smaller fandoms where everyone knows each other, and that does build a different vibe compared to here. you don't really mind that they have different perspectives because at least you agree in Something, whether it was shipping the same characters or viewing the show in a different way than the rest of the fandom. like you really hold on to that and eventually get over their weird headcanons. but maybe those differences matter here a lot more, and again, i might just not built for this lmao

im talking mostly about ship stuff but my god sometimes people here love to feel smarter for turning the same dialogue or subject in their heads over and over so that they open their Third Eye or something. of course people might not agree with you they literally watched the show once why would they care about the Subtext and the Layers.

(and i don't mean people who just analyze the show and have their own fun by doing that i mean the "you're stupid for not getting This" people)

[meraki-yao]

I have a question since you're from surrounding regions, is taylor actually well known in china? Why do you think GQ went with him there are a lot more famous celebs, taylor doesn't even have a lot screen exposure

So for some reason, I'm taking this question super seriously.

Please note that 1, I can only speak from my observation and my position 2, I'm from Hong Kong, so there are certain things about mainland China that I might not be aware of

Regarding Taylor's notability in China:

Is he well-known? Well, and I say this with all the love I have for Taylor, not really. In fact, during his time in China, there have been several cases in the videos that I reposted that you can hear people ask in Mandarin "Who is he?" A few more recounts I read said that quite several people who ended up near the fan crowd asked "Who is that handsome foreigner?" and followed and took photos/videos of him not because they recognized him, but because they were intrigued. (but side note, even the people who didn't know who he was said that 1, he's really handsome 2, he's really friendly, so that's sweet)

The thing about Taylor's notability in China comes in two regards:

1, RWRB became one of the most popular western queer media to be distributed on streaming platforms in China (especially since most if not all of the local queer media is banned, yes I'm angry about it), so this part kind of goes without explanation

2, Taylor uses Chinese social media platforms, which is really rare for Hollywood actors. This gives him a platform to interact with Chinese fans, since because of firewall/censorship, it's a hassle (and technically illegal but shhhhh) for Chinese fans to check his Instagram/ Tiktok/ Twitter(not that he uses it)/ Threads

Regarding the reason GQ went with him:

1, it was a personal invitation from the Editor-in-chief of GQ China (so more or less the head PIC of the event). They met during the Ferrari show, the Editor, Rocco Liu invited Taylor, Taylor said he'll come if it works out with his schedule and the rest is history.

2, And this is my speculation (because I care about international relationships and thought about this a lot), but I think GQ wanted to try something new by inviting Taylor, a Hollywood actor (and thus promoting the overall image of China but that's getting too political for my taste on my own public platform), and since Taylor is (a) currently popular since RWRB is still relatively new and the Chinese fandom is still really active (b) evidently willing to try out the local ways of things as seen from him using and operating his own Little Red Book and Bilibili account.

I mentioned this before, but I think that since Taylor was so willing to try new things (which is a quality of his that I personally admire greatly), all the people/organizations/companies in China who got in contact with him saw the opportunity to experiment and see what a Hollywood actor could do in a Chinese setting/market and how much traction he can bring. That's my guess for why he was so busy and going from event to event non-stop, and evidently looking tired by the time he was going back to the States (especially for someone who appears to never be tired)

So yeah. I think they took Taylor's enthusiasm for trying new things and his currently persistent popularity in China and ran with it. Not that it's a bad thing though.

But I will say this, for the GQ event, all sorts of people were invited. The most famous ones with a considerable career already (think the equivalent of RDJ, Brad Pitt, Leonardo Dicaprio etc), the currently popular young stars (think the equivalent of K-pop stars or the "white boy of the month" trend) but there were a considerable amount of people that I completely never seen or heard, and neither did a lot of Chines audience. In fact, I don't know who the two ladies who were in the same boat with Taylor during the water carpet are. So there's also that.

[the-dance-of-italy]

i don't know who's running the boycott the chosen account, but i know they have a twitter also & i thought it would be really helpful to make an instagram as well. that's where the official accounts for it and most of the actors are mainly active, and where they're most likely to gain traction. i was actually originally planning on making one before i saw that account haha, sending this to you because you've been posting a lot about boycotting too and hopefully they see this as well

also, id like to point out that shaan sharma (actor of shmuel) is on the sag-aftra board of directors. we could get more traction if it's known about him that he's in the show that supports zionism, he's the most famous (besides nick avari as nicodemus, but he was only season 1). i know sag-aftra itself has shown support for israel too, it could tie in with protesting against them.

and luke dimyan (judas) & alaa safi (simon zee) are arab and muslim, respectively. absolutely not placing more blame or responsibility on those two but they are part of those groups. i don't personally think a season 4 boycott at this stage would make a big difference but the main thing is about gaining bigger traction where the fanbase is mainly active. i guess if enough traction is gained we could pressure them, luke's been especially vocal about being arab

i'm basically asking/telling you because i would absolutely like to help out right now but it feels hopeless, besides boycotting s4 (and there are so few of us) and donating to the fundraiser. is there anything else that can be done? i really suggest going on instagram to properly gain attention tbh, that's my main method, but i personally am too busy and don't know enough to get involved directly (like run the account myself). sorry if this is very out of left field

I understand and also agree that boycotting at this stage may seem hopeless. The best thing we could do is just try and reach out to more people to drop the show and to not give those people more money for the future last 3 seasons they have planned.

Also reach out to some of the cast with a well written explanation + evidence should it be needed, about our concerns of them staying in the production. Instagram would be a good platform to reach out more people as you say, but I'm not very active there and i have little knowledge as to how the algorithm works there. TikTok would work too, since they have attention there thanks to the silly BTS videos they make sometimes. I already made a video on it and i plan to do more, but since i returned to college this week, im a bit limited on time...

If anyone who sees this and is willing to help out to make noise on those platforms, feel free to let me or @boycottthechosen so we can help spread the word!

[rozinaaa]

I Like Tumblr

I know this is metaphysical (a bit ironic, since it's also my 360th post on this blog, which gives me the feeling that I've literally come full circle), and I never thought that I'd say this, but I like Tumblr, since it makes long form blogging cheap and accessible, along with having the option to create different types of content, instead of being forced to focus on creating one type of thing all the time (Instagram lets you post anything visual (but also makes you obsess over yourself too much to the point where it starts to get harmful), TikTok is ALL about videos (and basically hijacks your brain), Medium is basically the capitalist political hellsite version of Tumblr (essentially being a longer form version of Twitter/X), LinkedIn is the work version of Facebook (which is ironic since I also use LinkedIn a lot), Neocities is for anyone who refuses to get with the times (usually people that think they're still 10, even though they could be at least three times that age, and don't know much about decent UI Design, either through sheer stubbornness, or through a genuine lack of skill and knowledge, as well as essentially grieving nostalgically about a time that may or may not have lived through), WordPress feels way too complex, coding my own sites by hand becomes a headache (I just want to focus on designing and writing (and all the other creative things) without having to needlessly mess around with the development side of things), and I know that you can combine text and image on other platforms, but it doesn't feel the same as doing it like this), as well as combining it with social media, but combining it in a way which doesn't feel overly addictive or competitive like the other platforms.

Perhaps this is my main experience of using Tumblr as a way to create content, since I've also been guilty of consuming lots of content on here as I have on all the other platforms, so I guess it's good to maintain the balance and see what others are doing from time to time, so that you don't get too alienated and end up in your own little bubble.

I guess what I want out of social media and content creation is to not feel pressured in obsessing over stats and the pressure to be Absolutely Flawless And Perfect All The Time™️, but to just enjoy the act of creating the content that I want to see, and potentially invite others around to see it as well, instead of trying to create a full blown business (I've seen others do it, and it seems like you're either well-established (to the point where you earn so much that it basically replaces your dayjob), or you're just lurking in the corners, wanting to start, only to be too paralysed by choice and input to even make the first step, but never encountering someone who's in the middle, and is essentially an amateur content creator, since they usually tend to be more realistic than the professionals), because that does get overwhelming when you're literally trying to figure out yourself and what you want to do.

I've felt this over the past 10 years (but I always obsessed over creating visuals for fake brands that I created which (thankfully) never really took off, which explains my foray into graphic design), to the point where it feels like I'm a perpetual amateur content creator, never seeming to break the surface, so I'm not too sure how I feel about that.

For now, using Tumblr feels like using scrap paper (in a good way), since I can just post what I want without having to worry about algorithms and whatnot, essentially using it as a way to sketch out my thoughts and ideas, not to mention that I can create multiple blogs under one account, so I can try out different online personas without having to carve out a whole brand for them.

To be honest, the only way that I'm going to actually do something is if it's cheap (i.e. low cost, and also cheap to produce, by having a lower barrier to entry), easy to use (there's probably a reason why I update my Tumblr much more than either of my handcoded sites, since Tumblr feels a lot more accessible to me, and there's a lot less friction involved, compared to updating various files and stressing over the development sides of things), it looks visually appealing (this is probably why I also happen to be a UI Designer, but I've always cared about how things have looked, so that's probably just who I am), and that it's cloud/web-based, since I have the option to log in to the platform from any device and just get on with it, without having to mess around with the overly technical stuff all the time.

With all of this said, I think I might create a Research and Development blog that's similar to this, but make it about things that directly link to my job/line of work (so literally just UI/UX Design, Research, and other hints of Graphic Design, which would be the main focus of the blog, although I'd be free to talk about other things that might link to The Main Thing, and I'd host it on Tumblr for all of the reasons that I've previously mentioned), as well as actually making it public, so that others can see my posts, and so that it can act a bit like a portfolio, along with being able to create content in a non-competitive way, and building my way up, instead of feeling like I have to start off from the top, and wonder why I get burnt out and ditch the idea of creating content so quickly.

[marzgurl]

Sorry if adding to the receipts part is kinda slow-going. There's a lot, and I feel like I don't need to add every single last possible little thing, so I'm trying to parse what's most important to add to this.

ALSO, HOLY SHIT, I JUST WROTE THE WHOLE BLOG AND DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SAVE A DRAFT AND NOW I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL OVER AGAIN AND I'M PRETTY MAD.

So, uh, let's see, what else is good to add, uh...

Well, it looks like the other woman in the relationship, Haileigh, reactivated her Twitter account, so just to prove I didn't just make up the part where Vic was cheating on two different women, here's Haileigh's tweets from after this all came to light. They're still not deleted, if you wanna go look at them yourself. In fact, there's even more that I don't have screenshotted here in the replies. These are just the ones that she's putting out in front that aren't a reply to anybody.

Sorry that I can't put video directly into reblogs. Just gonna have to link to a few of them. Here's a link to a clip from the Twitch livestream Vic did where he called Farah a "friend", which is what really set her off to start putting a bunch of receipts online.

Here's screenshots Farah had of a text conversation between herself and Vic, showing he was very grateful for the harassment campaign and for this woman doing everything she could to protect him. There are more like these out there somewhere.

Farah unfortunately went on a weird alt-right YouTube show to talk about all of this, and the hosts kept really derailing the whole thing. But one clip that came out of it that was actually useful was of Farah spilling the tea about how she was part of a group of people called "VIC'S ARMY" who'd set out to destroy his enemies, that she ran everything they did by him, and that he approved of everything she was doing.

In case you thought somehow there was a misunderstanding of whether or not Farah and Vic had even met or known each other, Farah has posted photos of herself in Vic's car kissing him on the cheek after he picked her up from the airport in Dallas.

Even immediately after Farah started putting Vic on blast publicly online, Vic didn't stop trying to gaslight her into believing he just fucked up that one time but he still cared about her and he totally doesn't understand why she would want to destroy him at all. REALLY weird text messages.

Farah dropped her video on TikTok telling the short version of the murder plot story. Here's her direct link to it on TikTok.

Here's my link to it, in case Farah ever decides to nuke her socials again in the future.

For the time being, I think these should be enough. And I REALLY don't want to risk having to write this whole post all over again. She's got a lot more receipts (including weird gross pictures of him in bed that don't really count as revenge porn but are still super uncomfortable to look at as he's trying to be sexy for the camera). For the time being, go ahead and look at her Twitter account yourself. I'm sure you'll find more there.

All we can do now is wait and see if those text messages ever get subpoenaed from AT&T or not. I GUESS WE'LL SEE!

I would say that most people will never be able to say they may or may not have been the intended target of a murder plot by a former anime voice actor, and I hope I at least live long enough to write an autobiography about how stupid the entire thing is.

[chimerabytes]

(tl;dr please feel free to reach out to me if you ever want to talk + you can ask if i have any other social platform accounts if youd like to keep talking with me on other things!)

also to add on to my tags on prev post (edited to be put under a read more because this got way longer than i intended):

i apologize if my lack of communication skills and my lack of people permanence has caused anyone to feel awkward around me and/or think that i don't see them as a person worth keeping around.

i sincerely mean this when i say it: i do see you as someone worth keeping around. i know i struggle with showing it, affection is not my strength point in the slightest. but i will continue to keep trying my best to be at least approachable. and i dont mind if you want to keep your distance and just kinda vibe from the sidelines. i still appreciate you and i respect your space.

to be honest i have a pretty big personal bubble that i find nearly impossible to let people into, the closer people want to get to me and the closer i want to get to others. think of my sociability like two magnets with the same sides facing each other: the closer you try and force them together, the stronger the force of repulsion can be felt.

i try not to mean any ill intentions towards most people! but i know that even if i don't mean it, i can still hurt people regardless. and i hate hurting people who don't deserve to be hurt. i appreciate the folks who follow me - by doing so you are welcomed into my bubble, and can peek into a very personal part of my life that i bare out in the open for others to see.

essentially... i just want to say that i do care about others, just not in the most open way. and my inbox is always open if you want to chat with me and get to know me better. i have tumblr dms open - both asks and using the IM feature. i have discord and a plethora of other social accounts on multiple platforms, including:

quotev

mastodon (plush.city is my main instance where i can be found!)

just plain 'ole e-mailing me is totes cool with me!

flight rising (yes. i will allow people to send me messages on FR and tag me in forum posts. i cannot guarantee i will reply to every thing right away, but i do read all my messages within 24-48 hours of them being sent by you!)

i don't use twitter anymore, sadly. so i apologize if thats your preferred avenue of communication!

i could dig up my skype account again if anyone wants to add me on there?

i don't use a lot of other messaging apps that are popular these days aside from discord and tumblr, but if you want you could pitch me an offer to join a website/ chat/ platform that you use and i may join!

however you will Never get me to join instagram, snapchat or tiktok. Sorry, I just dont think those apps are for me.

i try to keep my avenues of conversation open. even though i admittedly am not great at chatting and most of my affection and sillies are gleaned from what kind of memes and silly reaction pics i send, i still do want to offer up a metaphorical chill spot for people to join me in.

i realize this is pretty long so i'm going to end this, although im not sure how? just like, if you ever have any thoughts, concerns, questions, or want to just talk to me at all about literally anything (i dont care if you only send me like, one word, I will likely respond anyway!) then like... As the boys would say, hit me up, I guess?

[spectroscopes]

Hi! First off, thank you for your piece on Depp/Heard (the long one with large amount of notes, although I appreciate all of your commentary on this.) I try to stay the hell away from Instagram most of the time as it’s about as bad as Twitter and tiktok in terms of demonizing and victim-blaming Heard, but there is an account on there with the handle exposingamberheard. It’s about as horrible and misogynistic as you can imagine, and honestly I wouldn’t recommend scrolling through it. I saw a post that was so egregiously false, literally not a single thing was true, and everyone in the comments was falling for it and it had millions of views (it was that stupid reel thing), and I could not keep my mouth shut. Literally millions of people were taking these lies as fact because a faceless Instagram account posted them. It is so incredibly fucked up. All I originally commented was something along the lines of “how are you not ashamed of yourself, how do you sleep at night, after posting these things that are proven false with a single cursory Google search?” and I thought I should tell you that I have been met with the most vile men and women crawling out of the woodworks to call me slurs and generally horrible things. Literally random men saying “woman moment” and “beta gender” after I wrote an entire paragraph that was well thought out with sourced facts and a cohesive argument. I don’t even know how this situation will ever get fixed. It honestly feels dangerous. I guess all this is to say that the brain rot has spread to every social media platform and I am glad I can talk to someone who isn’t willfully ignoring facts. Thank you <3

Supporting Amber genuinely does feel like you're being mass gaslit by the whole internet especially when you have experiences like that, which are sadly not remotely uncommon. It's alt right harassment tactics and, like the alt right, they mock people who turn off replies or otherwise try to limit it and take that as proof that we're not willing to defend our position rather than the reality that we're sick to death of being harassed. But I'm sorry that happened to you. These people just don't read or engage with reality and it's amazing to me that "social justice oriented" people don't look around at the company they're keeping and start to wonder "are we the baddies?"

[berlinini]

Looks like there's more of a media blackout for AFHF - a game-changer festival! - than for his first livestream concert. There's really nothing in terms of coverage. Why did I think that his association with BMG would help him out? I guess he still has SJPR (an agency that really must be in the back pocket of Louis' nemeses)

Yeah, what the AFHF really showed is that nothing has changed in term of promotional support (to the exception of the sponsored ads by Veeps and Live Nation but that's because they're chasing big bucks). What did we get? An article in CelebMix, praising Matt Vines. Please 😭. Nothing about a free festival with 8,000 people, but we get a write up because Louis donated 4K to a GoFundMe? Bilk got press out of the festival - but Louis, who curated it, did not? When is Benji Madden going to be quoted about the AFH livestream in a music publication like he was for Liam's?

It doesn't take a PhD to understand that Louis is heavily blacklisted by the media. Is SJPR trying to work around that or is it simply impossible to do so?

At this point, it's clear for me that as long as LTHQ is still in the picture, sitting on their asses at the pub, nothing's gonna change. Ok, if we say Louis is blacklisted, with the following his has on social media, he could work around it. However, there is absolutely no strategy put in place by his team to exploit that. There would be so many ways to "milk" the festival - through Instagram posts, posting videos on YouTube, TikTok, etc. Stuff that would bring engagement from fans and could be shared to extend the fanbase. Yet, the AFHF twitter account is dead and Louis just dipped after his thank you tweets - just like in December.

I mean, if Louis produced the doc + concert film, I don't understand what's stopping him for fully putting it on YouTube - he owns the rights. Unless it's going on streaming/ VOD platforms (which I highly doubt), then the whole thing was just made to be broadcasted once? And we don't even have the ticket sale numbers? That seems like a lot of energy for little rewards.

As for BMG, they are not yet involved with Louis' career - he has to release music through them first. So we wait and see what the promo for his next single will be...

But in conclusion, to quote Shakespeare again...“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark” (a poetic way of saying things are fucked up).

Faith in the future, I guess?

[blueberry-sunghoon]

"#welovejay" | jay park

*in this story, you are also a member of enhypen. you and jay are the main characters (though the other members are there as well). minor swearing warning (one "hell", one "ass", one "shit"). the story is 4,357 words long. i really hope you like this story. if you do, leave a comment if you want😊*

The time was 8:45 PM. You and the other Enhypen members were at the dorm, sitting around in the living room. You were all exhausted after a particularly long day of practice.

“I’m starving but I’m too lazy to get up,” Ni-ki groaned.

“I’ll make us some ramen,” said Heeseung as he got off the couch and headed to the kitchen.

~~~

At 9:05, all of you were eating the ramen Heeseung made and you had broken off into conversations. Jake and Heeseung were talking to each other, Sunghoon and Sunoo were talking to each other, and you were talking to Jungwon and Ni-ki. In the middle of your conversation, you realized that Jay was the only one without anyone to talk to. Not only that, he wasn’t eating; he was just staring at his food and picking at it. 

You tapped on Jay’s shoulder. “Jay,” you said. No reaction. You tapped his shoulder again. “Jay?” 

“Huh?” he said, startled, and turned to look at you. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“That’s alright,” you said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just tired.”

“Are you going to eat?”

Jay sighed. “I’m not really hungry.”

You could sense that something was wrong with Jay, but he obviously didn’t want to talk about it and you didn’t want to pry any further. “Okay then. Let me know if there’s anything you want to talk about.”

After that, the mood was somber and quiet for a few minutes, but eventually you all returned to your conversations. You were still worried about Jay, but you pushed your worries to the back of your mind. 

When all of you (except Jay) finished eating, you decided you would clean up today since everyone was tired. As you started to collect everyone’s bowls, Jungwon stood up and said, “I can help with that.”

“No, that’s okay,” you said. “I can do it myself. You had a long day; you should rest.”

“But you’re tired too. You also had a long day,” Jungwon protested.

“Rest or I’ll take your elbows,” you said finally.

Jungwon chuckled to himself. “I guess if you put it that way. Are you sure you don't need any help?”

“Positive.” 

~~~

Some time later, at 10:30, you were still cleaning up and washing the dishes when everyone (again, except for Jay) walked up to you. “Are you sure there’s nothing we can help with?” said Jake. 

“100%. I’m completely fine,” you answered. 

“Okay. Well, in that case, we’re all going to bed.”

“Okay. Goodnight guys. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Everyone waved to you, said goodnight, and walked out. 

“Wait, Jungwon,” you whispered to him before he could go anywhere. He turned to face you. You motioned for him to come over and he did. “Have any of you tried talking to Jay? I think something is wrong and he isn’t telling us,” you said as you kept your voice at minimum volume.

Jungwon sighed. “Yeah, I thought so too. Sunoo and I tried talking to him but he wouldn’t even look at us. I think it’s best if we leave him alone for now.”

“I think so too,” you said defeatedly. 

The room went silent for a few moments. Eventually Jungwon broke the silence and said, “See you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah. Goodnight.” Jungwon walked out of the kitchen and you kept cleaning the dishes. Eventually you finished, but you looked over at Jay in the living room and sighed in frustration when you realized you had forgotten to take his dish. You walked into the living room and you found him sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone. You then went to the small table where his food was and quietly asked, “Can I put this away?”

He didn’t look up from his phone; he just gave a silent nod. 

So you took his dish back to the kitchen and put it in a food saver. Then you washed the bowl and went back to the living room to retrieve your phone. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Once again, Jay didn’t acknowledge you, and you felt absolutely defeated. You were about to head to your room when you heard Jay say something.

“I can’t do anything without being made fun of.”

You paused for a moment to think about what he could have meant. Who was he talking about? You sat down next to him. “Was it something I said?” you asked softly.

Jay shook his head. “No, it wasn’t you.” Jay handed you his phone and said, “Look.” Confused, you took his phone and you saw the selfie he had posted on Twitter earlier that day. He was in the practice room and he was making a peace sign. “You see it?” he said.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Look at the comments.”

You realized what was making him so upset when you scrolled through the comments. All the comments were making fun of his double-jointed fingers. “Oh my god,” you said in complete disbelief. “I’m so sorry, Jay.”

“Whatever,” Jay huffed. “It is what it is.” 

You were at a loss for words, so the room went silent for a few moments. “I mean, does anyone take me seriously at all?! Literally everything I do, they find something to laugh at. I really spent three years as a trainee just to be someone’s meme.” Hearing his voice laced with sadness and anger broke your heart. 

“Jay, you can’t focus on those comments; those aren’t real fans,” you tried to encourage him.

“I don't see anything else to focus on,” Jay said as he continued to scroll through the comments. “Do I even have real fans?”

“Jay, of course you do-”

He didn’t bother to let you finish your sentence. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” he said. Jay’s voice was shaky and you could tell he was about to cry. He didn’t want you to see him shed any tears, so he said, “I gotta go.” And just like that, he left. 

The living room was now empty except for you, and all of a sudden your emotions hit you like a truck. You felt mostly angry, though. You were angry at those commenters, angry at the fact that Jay felt like he had no real fans, angry at yourself because you didn’t know how to make Jay feel better… tears formed in your eyes and you didn’t try to stop them. You just stared into space as they fell down your face. 

You had to prove to Jay that he had real fans. Did you know how? No. Were you going to rest until you did it? Absolutely not.

~~~

The time was now 1:28 AM. Following the vow you made yourself that you wouldn’t rest until you found a way to make Jay feel better, you were still wide awake, laying on your bed in your room (you had a separate bedroom from the boys). Your mind was racing trying to come up with an idea, but unfortunately you were in a constant cycle of coming up with a new idea and then throwing it away once you saw a flaw in it. 

“It’s useless,” you thought to yourself. You took your phone from under your pillow and logged in to your secret Tiktok account. Belift let you have a secret Tiktok account, and you were grateful for that. Your page looked like a fanpage like any other, but being able to communicate with your fans without them knowing it was y/n from Enhypen, becoming mutuals with them, and participating in the trends they made really made your day. These days, the Sunoo cult was going around, and it was funny to see that pretty much everyone had the same profile picture. 

All of a sudden, a lightbulb went off in your head. What if I started something similar for Jay? You ran to Twitter to find the selfie Jay posted that day and downloaded it. Then you opened a photo editing app, added heart stickers and sparkles all around it, and put some text that said “We love Jay”. Going back to Tiktok, you switched your profile picture to the one you just made.

It looks good, you thought, but how am I going to spread it? It wouldn’t be an easy task, especially since the Sunoo cult was still raging in popularity and you didn’t have much of an audience on Tiktok (71 followers to be exact). The only way to quickly spread the word was to post a Tiktok and expose yourself as y/n from Enhypen… expose yourself as y/n from Enhypen? said your head. No way. You’ll get in hella trouble and you know it. You probably wouldn’t be allowed on your secret Tiktok anymore. 

Do you have any better ideas? said your heart. This would be the fastest way to spread the message. You’re y/n from Enhypen for goodness’ sakes, the fans would listen to you in a heartbeat. Besides, you aren’t doing this for yourself. You’re doing it for Jay.

What your head said made sense, but you would rather help Jay than help yourself. Like you did most of the time, you took your heart’s word for it.

You tried to think of where to film your Tiktok. Your room was definitely not suitable. Unless you wanted to film yourself whispering, the boys would definitely hear you. Your room was adjacent to theirs, and the wall between the two rooms was thinner than a piece of paper… well, not that thin, but thin enough. 

You also considered the living room, but that was also a no-go because anyone could just walk in and see what you were doing. Eventually you decided to film it outside on the porch. There’s no way anyone would be going outside at this time (except you, of course). You slowly crept out of your room, into the hallway, into the living room, careful so as to make as little noise as possible, and eventually out the front door. You took a deep breath of relief and waited for your pounding heart to return to its normal rhythm. 

You turned on the light next to the door so you could see, and then you pulled out your phone and started to record. “Hey everyone, it’s y/n from Enhypen,” you started, but before you could continue you heard the front door open and there was Sunghoon.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked.

You panicked and your heart started to rush again. “I think the real question is, ‘What are you doing out here?’” you said, trying to laugh it off.

“I asked you first though,” Sunghoon said with a smirk. “But I’ll answer your question to humor you. I woke up and I was thirsty, so I made my way to the kitchen to get myself some water. But then I saw that the light outside was on, and I went to check it out. Then I saw you and asked you what you were doing out here.”

“Oh.”

“So what are you doing out here?”

“Well, um, I, you see, see I couldn’t sleep, right?” you answered, stumbling over your words. “So I came out here and started to record a -note video.”

You were sweating bullets and you could feel your heart going 100 miles per hour. By some miracle, though, Sunghoon couldn’t see how anxious you were and he said, “Okay then. Don't stay out too late. Don't forget we start shooting our music video in the afternoon, and we have to get some practice in before then.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll see you in the morning. Good night.”

“See ya,” said Sunghoon as he waved goodbye and closed the door behind him. 

That was way too close, you thought to yourself. I should hurry up and get this filmed before someone else sees me. Even though you were a K-pop idol and you were constantly in front of cameras, you still sometimes felt weird about recording yourself. It took a few takes, but you finally finished filming.

You turned off the light and quietly made your way back to your room so you could edit the video before posting it. You plopped yourself back on your bed and added subtitles to the video. Then you went to add a caption and some hashtags including #welovejay. Your thumb hovered over the “post” button and your head tried to interfere once again. y/n, before you post that, think! is it-

But you didn’t care for any of that; you posted the video without hesitation. Feeling better than you had all day, you decided it was time to get some shut-eye. You put your phone back under your pillow and let your eyes drift to a close. 

~~~

Your alarm, which was “Fairy of Shampoo'' by TXT,  went off at 7:15. You groaned because you didn’t want to wake up, but you liked the song so you didn’t turn off your alarm. Instead, you laid there with your eyes closed because you didn’t feel like opening them. 

Then, all of a sudden you remembered the Tiktok you posted five hours earlier. You opened your eyes and feverishly opened Tiktok to see how the post did. You gasped when you saw that your Tiktok received 150,000 likes and over half a million views. Still in shock of how well your post did, you scrolled through the comments. 

“changed my profile picture! #welovejay”

“OMG ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN MUTUALS WITH Y/N FROM ENHYPEN”

“b00sting so more people see this!!!”

You also saw that many of the people in the comments had the same profile picture you made. And #welovejay was used in over one million videos. It worked, you thought to yourself. It really worked! You were so happy that you started doing a little dancey-dance around your room. I can’t wait until Jay sees this. 

~~~

At 10:45, all eight of you were in the practice room, taking a short break from practicing. You watched as Sunghoon and Sunoo made a Tiktok. They were doing the dance of “Me gustas tu” by Gfriend (Sunoo wouldn’t leave Sunghoon alone until he agreed to do it with him).

“Do you like this take?” asked Sunoo.

“It’s definitely better than the last one,” answered Sunghoon, “I think it’s okay to post.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” 

Sunghoon wrote the caption for the video (“Just so you all know, Sunoo made me do this”) and posted it.

“Did you post the video already?” said Jake. “I want to see the comments. Engene's comments crack me up.”

Sunoo motioned for him to come over. “Yeah, we just did. Come and see.” 

Jake walked over to where Sunghoon and Sunoo were. Sunghoon pressed the “comments” button, and all three were shocked by what they saw.

“How come everyone in the comments has the same profile picture?” asked Jake.

“I don't know, but it spread pretty quickly. It hasn’t even been 24 hours since he posted this picture,” Sunoo remarked. 

“What are you guys talking about?” you asked. You walked over to where the three were standing and looked at Sunghoon’s phone, and then you realized what they were talking about. A smile came across your face. “Wow, that’s really cool,” you said as if it wasn’t your doing. “Guys, you gotta come see this, this is really cool.” 

“What is it?” asked Heeseung as he walked over with Jungwon and Ni-ki.

“Everyone has the same profile photo here,” Sunoo beamed. 

Jay didn’t even bother walking over. If everyone has the same profile picture, there’s no way it’s me. It’s probably someone cute like Ni-ki. I’m the last person it could be. He stood aloof as he watched the seven of you gush over the picture.

“Jay-hyung, come see this!” said Jungwon.

Jay sighed and he reluctantly walked over. At least he could be happy for whoever’s picture it was instead of standing there jealous. Nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to see. The second he did, his smile was so huge and it wouldn’t come off his face even though he tried to hide it. “Oh my god,” he said in utter disbelief. “Sunghoon, can I see your phone?” 

Sunghoon handed Jay his phone, and Jay kept scrolling and scrolling through the comments. “This is insane. Everyone really made me their profile picture.” Maybe I do have real fans.

“The text on the picture is so small though, I can’t read what it says,” said Jungwon. 

“Me neither,” said Ni-ki, and everyone else agreed.

Without thinking, you blurted out the answer. “It says ‘We love Jay’.” The seven boys immediately looked at you, and you realized your mistake. 

“How do you know? That text is way too small and none of us can read it,” Jungwon inquired.

You hesitated for a moment, and then you replied, “Well if you click on one of the profiles and click on the picture, you’ll be able to zoom in and see what the text says.”

“Is that how you found out what it says? Because none of us clicked on any of the profiles.”

Oh. You didn’t think about that. There was no way around it now. Guess it was time to tell them the truth. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, you heard the sound of your least favorite manager storming through the hallway and screaming, “PARK Y/N!!!” 

“Holy shit, y/n,” said Ni-ki. “What did you do this time?”

You knew exactly what was about to happen. The manager burst through the door, anger scribbled all over her face. She walked over to where you were, and she pulled out her phone, revealing a screenshot of your Tiktok. She pointed the screen in your direction. “Park y/n,” she yelled in lower case, trying to calm herself down, “What. Is. This.”

The other seven pairs of eyes in the room were on you, expecting an answer. But you stayed silent. 

The manager couldn’t keep her cool anymore. “Do you not understand Korean?? I asked you WHAT IS THIS???” 

“A Tiktok,” you mumbled.

“Oh my goodness, y/n,” she started as she took a deep breath. “I’ve known you for eight long years, and of all of the ridiculous things you’ve done, this is by far the most audacious! What possessed you to do this, huh?! Do you remember the day I agreed to let you have a secret account?!”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Last I remember, the secret account was to be SECRET! Not known or not seen by the public. How could you go directly against our agreement?? Look at this - 700,000 likes! This was when I screenshotted it. Who KNOWS how many it could have now!”

700,000 likes? Wow, it blew up so much since I last checked. When I woke up it only had 150,000. You were so excited that your plan worked, and you didn’t realize that a tiny smile crept up on your face.

“YAH!” screamed the manager. “How can you be laughing right now?! Is that what you have to say for yourself?! Why did you even do this?!”

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down before you spoke. “Mrs. Choi, did you watch the video?”

“y/n, I don't give a rat’s ass what’s in your video. It's probably something stupid. There’s no reason you couldn’t have posted it on Enhypen’s official Tiktok.”

“I believe if you watch the video, you’ll understand why I posted it.”

“Nonsense,” she huffed as she opened Tiktok to find your video. “Let’s hear it.” The video started as she turned her volume all the way up.

“Hey, everyone, it’s y/n from Enhypen. Um, this has been my secret account for a while. I guess it won’t be much of a secret anymore after I post this, and I’ll more than likely get in trouble for it, but I don't care. What I need to say is that important. You guys know Jay. Well, he’s having a tough time and I really wanted to encourage him. Do you guys see my profile picture? I made it myself. If you guys want to do me a favor, you can change your profile picture to this so we can show Jay how much we love him. I’ll put the picture at the end so you can crop it. If you don't want to change your profile picture that’s completely fine; you can also help by boosting the video so more people see it. Like, comment, share/copy link, use the hashtag #welovejay, whatever you need to do. If I don't post again on here, it means I got in trouble. Engene, I’m counting on you. Hwaiting!”

As the video ended, Mrs. Choi’s anger faded away. “Oh,” she said softly. “Did any of you know about this?”

“Yes and no,” answered Jake. “Sunghoon and Sunoo just posted a Tiktok, and we saw that all of the commenters had the same profile picture, but we didn’t know that it was y/n who started it.”

“I need to see this,” said Mrs. Choi. She searched for Enhypen’s most recent Tiktok on her phone and looked through the comments. “You know what y/n?” she said as she looked up from her phone to face you, “I respect you for this. I’m sorry that I got so angry at you.”

“It’s okay,” you said.

“While I respect what you did, that doesn’t change the fact that you broke the agreement you and I had. I can’t let you go without consequences. Consider the secret Tiktok thing over. From now on, the only one you use is @enhypen. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” you said. 

“Good,” she said. She took a deep breath. “Well, I’ll see the eight of you later at the music video shoot.”

You all bowed as you said bye, and Mrs. Choi took her leave. 

After she left, the room went silent. You could tell that everyone else was thinking about what just happened and you tried to divert their attention to something else. “Well, we should get back to practicing.”

“Not so fast,” said Heeseung. “y/n, you’re the one who started the Jay profile picture thing?”

You looked at him and nodded.

“Respect,” he said. He extended his fist and you gave him a fist bump, and you smiled. 

Out of nowhere, Jay gave you a back hug and rested his head on your shoulder. “Guys, can I talk to y/n alone for a minute?”

“Yeah, of course. Take your time,” said Heeseung. At that, the boys left the practice room, leaving you and Jay alone.

“You really did that for me?” he said softly.

“Of course,” you said without hesitation as you turned to look at him. “That’s what friends are for. I saw the way your face lit up when you saw all those comments. That moment was priceless. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” 

“I suppose so.” You noticed that Jay’s voice was a bit shaky. Then you realized why when you saw tears roll down his face.

“Jay-ah, why are you crying?” you said as you wiped his tears away. 

“It’s my fault your Tiktok got taken away,” he said regrettfully. “I remember how excited you would get when you made a new friend on there. I really took away your greatest joy.”

“No you didn’t, Jay. I got my Tiktok taken away because I broke a rule,” you assured him.

“But you wouldn’t have had to if I-”

“Shhhh,” you interrupted. “You’re being too loud. I don't listen to Jay slander.”

Jay laughed a little and tried to hide his smile by looking away. “I see you smiling, Jay, don't try to hide it,” you said playfully.

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are!”

“Okay, you got me,” Jay said as he pulled you in for a hug. “You best believe I’m going to bug Mrs. Choi until she lets you have your account back.”

“You can try, but don't be surprised when it doesn’t work.”

“It will. I’m her favorite, so she’ll have to listen to me,” Jay said confidently.

“Boy, since when are you her favorite?”

“Since forever.”

“You wish.”

“No, you wish.”

~~~

Two weeks later, you knocked on the door of Mrs. Choi’s office. 

“Come in,” she said. 

You walked through the door and bowed. 

“You needed to see me?” you said. She was sitting in her desk and she didn’t look at you.

“Yeah,” she said. “Take a seat.”

You did as she said. Her eyes were still glued to the computer and she was typing something. You were worried because you had no idea what she was about to say, so you sat there nervously as your hands started to sweat. 

Finally Mrs. Choi looked away her computer and turned to face you. She took a deep breath and said, “I regret to inform you that I’m allowing you back on your Tiktok account.”

“Regret to inform you”? You wanted to ask why she would regret that, but you didn’t want to say anything that might change her mind, so you simply said, “Thank you.”

She turned back to typing on her computer. “You should be grateful your friend is so annoying. Jay would not leave me alone until I agreed to let you have it back.”

“Oh,” you said. You had completely forgotten that Jay had said he would do that.

“Know this: you are on very, very, very thin ice. One more slip-up and it's over, no matter how much your friends annoy me. You understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. That’s all I have to say to you. Go back to whatever you were doing, and don't you dare forget what I said.”

Standing up to leave, you said, “I won’t. Thank you, Mrs. Choi.” You bowed once again and left her office. 

Once you closed the door behind you, the first thing you saw was Jay across from you in the hallway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face. 

“I told you it would work.”

[joelockescoffee]

I think Paris was a triumph for Joe and Bash and kind of a sh*tshow for Kit? Not only in the shows they attended (I mean you can't really compare to Dior??) or the awful clothes Kit was put in, but just in fandom response in general, I guess? I've seen a lot of anti-Kit posts, even on tumblr, this wknd. I think some people think he's making bad choices (or like I saw in one post on here that he's being greedy with all the HS fan attenion and not letting anyone else in the cast share in it.) Which...I don't know. I realize he's getting a lot of attention and he's been doing more publicity than others, but is it really something to fault him with, trying to promote his career? If people don't like how he's promoting himself (like the hunger mag stuff) that's fine, but it's not really up to him to determine who gets the press attention out of the cast members. Is he supposed to turn things down in hopes that they will ask another member of the cast? That's not how things work.

I'm not saying he's not the media darling of HS. I don't think anyone could argue that point. But he's also been in the business for a long time and has a team of people behind him seizing the moment. I don't even know what my point is lol. I've just seen a lot of negativity about it over the last couple of days, as well as stuff about him and his BFF, and the typical stuff about him not getting along with the rest of the cast b/c he was there with his friend and not with Joe and Bash 24/7, and I just feel bad about it. I hope they all managed to have fun, regardless.

I didn't know this was happening, although the accounts that I follow on Twitter are just cast updates, I don't see the kit part of discussion alot. But I understand you tho, some fans don't realise that they're being toxic af.

I think that Kit had equally great opportunity as Joe and Bash, tbh I wasn't expecting to see a tiktok star in the dior show, I was like ok dior wtv lmao. I just think that Kit's stylists did him dirty, and fans and people outside the fandom should just calm down and not blame him for his outfit flop, they should know better. I really hope he's doing okay tho, poor baby :(

And am I the only who thinks he isn't even trying to promote himself? He's just doing photoshoots, what's the big deal I don't understand, and what if he decides to do something different than usual in his latest cover, it's just his choice, people are giving him sh*t for no reason.

[shesbeingocean]

Realizations:

It's been a long time since I've written something here. It's been a long time since I feel like I'm me again. 2021 and the first era of 2022 was a very challenging for me. I think, I keep chasing love and I didn't know how to wait. So, this was what happened.

I think, I need a time to myself, to heal myself. What I did was just to get another man to get over the previous man. Because, I wanted to ran away from the tears, from the pain that I could possibly feel. But, somehow, I successfully supressed what I really felt inside.

Also, as I've tried stalking my previous or old account on Tiktok, I've noticed some changes to myself. I don't smile often, my smile was fake, my smile wasn't as genuine as before. I have changed a lot. I know, change is inevitable. But, if it's for worst? Would you think that you'll be able to accept the way you are if it's for the worst? Of course, not. That's why I'm here.

This 2022, I have decided to be freely alone. To not entertain any connections. Rather if it's friendship or lovelife. If someone came, good. If not, then I'll be okay dealing and loving myself. Sometimes, in order for us to heal is to be with ourselves. Loving yourself most of the time is like having a relationship or a specific connections towards others. You spend time, you spoil them, you treat them, you compliment them. And, I just hope that you love yourself more than you love the people around you. I hope that you know your self-worth and self-value. Because, if it's gone? You'll get worst. And, you'll lose your identity.

I remember last week when I was done reflecting to all the things that I have to realized, I tried spending time to watch a specific musical which was "STILL." The series was so great. But, that's not the main important here. Yes, I've cried a lot of times as I was watching that series. But, the most important thing is that... I AM ME. When I watched the musical, it feels like I AM ME. This is me, this is me. This is the Marichelle that I know. She loves theatre, she spends time with theatre, she spends time watching and learn things from the theatre folks she knows. She is this.

I've lost her at some point. But, I was glad to be able to come back even if it's one of the hardest thing that I did in my entire life. I also tried creating an account on twitter and finally open my heart, to interact with the fans that I know on twitter. And, guess what. I felt home. I feel like I am home. I remember my co-fan saying, "welcome home, ma." And, seriously, it feels like it.

I can noticed some changes. But, the feeling's still familiar. And, it's HOME. I'm finally home with these people that I shared my interest with. Who adores the same person as I am.

But before all that, I remember my therapist told me that I shouldn't be explaining my side, my behavior or personality to others. It is not your responsibility. And, it's not some kind of research paper for you to defend it. And, quite honestly? I've realized a lot of things as I've read that phase.

Most of the time, we tend to explain what we feel, what we think, what was the reason and etc. Which we shouldn't, which we're not supposed to. Unless, if you're feeling like opening up to someone that you really trust. But, if you can't explain, then you shouldn't. Then you don't have to.

January really tested me. Tested my faith, myself. And, I guess, I have failed. But, here I am again. Trying to get back on track. Trying to pick up every piece of my pie. And, I do really hope that I'll win this time. But, I won't stop. People may see me crying, break, bend, but I won't give up.

I know, I have said that we are not supposed to be happy. If happy doesn't exist, then joy does. You just have to find what will makes you bring joy. And, when you have find it, you just have to make a plan on how to achieve it. You can start from the smallest one. And, don't worry about the next step. Focus on step one first. Then, everything should follow.

Lastly, there's a saying that I can't forget. "Someday, everything will make perfect sense. For now, just laugh through the confusion. And, smile through the tears. And, keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."

Don't give up. Your life hasn't ended there yet, you must keep going. And, always remember if you are someone like me who did a terrible mistake. Remember this: Just because we did terrible things, it doesn't mean that we're horrible people. People makes mistakes, and that's how we learn. We're not perfect. And, we'll never be. All we have to do is to do better and do our best of not doing it again. Because, every mistakes has a lesson that you can apply to your life. And, I'm pretty sure that you'll be stronger, and wiser once you've get through all this.

For now, let's smile through the pain. Let ourselves cry, bend, breakdown, and so on. Until we feel better and ready to move forward. 💖

[saveyourprimos]

i don't want to sound rude but why do you have so many followers on twitter? you are not a dataminer you just repost their posts and make comments

Hell if we know.

We have always been transparent. We have had "we are not leakers / dataminers / insiders" in bold pinned to our Twitter so people did not misunderstand who we are or what we do.

The reason we started in the first place was because--aside from WFP, who doesn't post leaks on Twitter--there was a massive gap in the community for a central, aggregated source of reliable, properly sourced information that 1) wasn't heavily monetized, 2) didn't engage in clickbait to maximize engagement, and 3) wasn't trying to actively build some type of fanbase / community for themselves.

(You will note we do not have a Discord server, YouTube/TikTok channel, Instagram, etc. That's not changing any time soon.)

In addition, before we came around, there was no centralized, publicly-facing database tracking different leakers' claims / leaks per unreleased character that people could very easily reference at a glance.

I guess we're doing a pretty good job of it, is all.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that the information we aggregate is also constantly reposted by gaming news outlets, YouTubers, and TikTokers--all of whom do monetize their content. So that probably contributes to a lot of exposure for our account, as well.

Full transparency--we tried to open up a tip jar once. It lasted less than 24 hours because it was heavily frowned upon by our peers and it wasn't worth ruining our reputation over, even if it was entirely voluntary.

ANOTHER DAMN EDIT: We crossposted this response to Twitter, and another major point of value we've found is the fact that we avoid story/event leaks to the best of our ability, which seems to be rare in this space.

(Crossposted to Twitter)

[ayotocorp]

The Social Media Splintering

Alright, well, since Twitter (which is kind of the current nexus point for social media) is trending downhill, it seems like as good a time as any to resurrect this thing to some degree. That plus creating a literal half-dozen new social media accounts. Honestly I'm kind of terrible at social media, which shows pretty clearly, but this seems like a good time to just dunk my head into the lava and learn to swim with a trial by fire.

Given that everything has different functions and forms, I figure I might as well split myself up a bit instead of trying to cram everything into a format that doesn't work (or just not posting it if it seems like too much trouble). Tumblr, given that it's a literal blog website, seems like the best place for more thoughtful (or at least longer-winded) text posts, which is a good counterpoint to Twitter's off-the-cuff text blips. Youtube is going to be more of a nexus of three media styles: long-form content, which is shared with Twitch (directly in the case of the vod channel), more edited bite-sized content in the 10-40 minute range which is best-suited for Youtube itself, and then hyper-edited shorts which can be shared with Tiktok. Instagram has some overlap with Twitter as a place to share photos of things that I get that look cool, or events I go to if I ever get back out to PAX East or something.

Then we have the new ones. Mastodon and Cohost look like they're analogues for Twitter and Tumblr, respectively (or Cohost might if I could actually post on it). Vero (that thing everyone was jumping on years ago and forgot about immediately) seems like an Instagram-like. And Hypezone is... I'm honestly not sure. It seems like it's a weird crossbreed of Instagram and maybe Facebook/Twitter with Twitch integration? It's a bit of a mess so who knows. Anyway, all that to say that I guess to save myself some sanity I can do a bit of "content parity" across those locations, with videos getting split between Twitch/Youtube/Tiktok and similar post types going between Mastadon/Twitter and Cohost/Tumblr and such.

And of course the Bio.Site is there to link everything together so I don't have to remember every single link I have.