#i grew up with a hockey dad but my interest is mainly in watching live games or the aftermath of a bruins game in Boston

[noctilionoidea]

okay I doubt this will make sense to a good amount of people but I just realised autism (for me) is like playing hockey in figure skates.

You can skate, and you can still play the game with the people around you, but you have to figure out and learn work arounds because the skates are fundamentally different. It may not be different enough to be noticeable to others from a first glance. The frozen pond is the same. The sticks are fine. The puck is a puck. But your movements are jerky because you don’t have the right skates. You try to adapt to the right skates, but it just feels wrong (even if they’re just like your rollerblades, the purpose and environment is different). So when you play with people who have the right equipment, who can use it to the best of their abilities, you seem slower and are fumbling around. Your movements are different, clunkier. You aren’t doing as good but you’re having fun! In some sort of form you are playing hockey, not like the NHL or anything, but you’re having a good time and are playing by the rules set. Maybe though, you get really good at playing hockey in figure skates. But then you get worn out trying to accommodate for the issues you do have, and you have to go skate off to do figure eights or just leisurely gliding.

But with autism, you can’t just nope out and be fine. When you only feel comfortable using figure skates and you play hockey with your family, your younger sibling may mock you for being too clunky. But there’s still an understanding that your skates aren’t just made for that and the workarounds take a lot out. That’s not possible in school or work. So sticking with the skating metaphor, you’re forced to keep playing and your mind is trying to control the body while thinking of your next move and your eyes are on the puck, and next think you know you’re head first in a snowbank.

but this isn’t really a disability, because you can still do it, right?

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW – T. SEGUIN

"𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 '𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺'."  ─ 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐔𝐒

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: just some swearing nbd

word count: 4,113 [ oof yikes ]

authors note: originally i was gonna turn this idea into a fic, but like...i have no energy for that. so if anyone wants it to, it can be a multi part series for seggy boy :)  anyway, stop by and request something or let me know what you think about this–– ok bye and enjoy!!

"Baby Benn, I need your assistance." You looked up from your Physiology book to see Big Rig, otherwise known as Jamie Oleksiak, or as you like to call him– a big teddy bear– make his way over to you.

"She's studying Jamie, what do you need?" Dave said, never taking his eyes off of Klingberg's ankle as he continued to tape it.

"What's more important? My deathly aching shin or this..." He picked the book up from your hands and lazily flipped through the pages, crinkling his nose in disgust. "This migraine-inducing book."

"Give that back," You said, standing up and reaching across the desk, taking your book from his hands. "This migraine-inducing book is what will get me my degree, which will hopefully lead to a job you teddy bear."

"Still didn't answer my question."

You sighed and marked the page before closing your book and standing up from the small desk. "Is it the same one?"

"Yup!" He smiled and hopped up onto one of the stretching tables, holding out his right leg. "So tell me doc, does it need to be amputated? Am I going to die of this killing pain?"

Before you could answer, he was getting smacked in the back of the head by a green resistance band. You looked over and saw Jamie, your older brother, rolling his eyes just as he tossed the band at you. "If you don't do your stretches it won't be the shin splints that kills you, it'll be me."

"Damn Chubbs, I was just playing," Big Rig groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. "You didn't need to almost decapitate me."

"Oh, so I can go back to studying?" You asked, holding out the resistance bands as your brother, Dave and a few of the other players getting serviced laughed. "Unless you want to write this paper for me after your game tonight?"

Big Rig rolled his eyes and grabbed the band, looping his foot through it and starting to stretch his shin. "You just lost your spot as my favorite trainer in training."

"I'm the only trainer in training, J." You reached out for the resistance band and made him take more into his grip. "Keep it tight and stretch slow. You'll get the most out of it that way."

Soft snickering behind you soon turned into a burst of laughter and you watched as Big Rig's attempt to hide a smirk, ultimately failed. You sighed and rolled your eyes, not needing to know who the laughter belonged to. "27-years-old and still acting like a pre-pubescent boy with an underdeveloped frontal lobe? Could only be you, Segs."

Tyler fake scoffed, bringing a hand to his chest and looking at you with hurt eyes. "I'm flattered you've managed to keep my age tucked away in that big brain of yours, but pre-pubescent? I figured baby Benn would have a much better insult than that."

"Oh, I have tons of better insults," sitting down in your chair, you picked up your book and smiled at him. "Just none that your baby brain would be able to even begin to comprehend."

His hurt look faded and he licked his top teeth, shaking his head and laughing. "You'd be very surprised at what this baby brain can understand."

You gasped, this time holding your hand to your chest and looking at him in wonder. "You mean that you're capable of having knowledge in anything besides Hockey and breasts?"

You heard the snap of Big Rig's resistance band echo as it flew off of his foot. The other guys stared at you in awe before laughing at Tyler. You raised a single eyebrow at your brother's best friend, daring him to snipe back at you. But when he opened his mouth, Jamie stepped in your vision, picking up Big Rig's resistance band. "Okay you two, stop bickering like some stupid lovesick teenagers." He tossed the resistance band at Big Rig and turned to you. "And please, I never want to hear the word breasts come out of your mouth again."

"I'm almost 22 Jamie, it's perfectly normal for–"

He held up a hand and shook his head. "For the sake of my ears, just...please, no bodily mentions. I'd just rather not have that in my head."

You sunk back down into your chair, as he went to grab a foam roller. Before looking back at your book, you peeked over the top of it to see Tyler stuffing a heating pad into his shirt, holding it firmly on his left shoulder. As if he could feel you staring, he looked up, resting his back against the wall and smirked, raising a single eyebrow before tapping his temple and mouthing "big brain."

You rolled your eyes and subtly cleared your throat and turned the page, using your middle finger that you made sure was perfectly within his line of vision. He laughed and covered it up with a cough before shaking his head and leaving the training room completely.

It was normal, dealing with the chirps of your brothers' teammates. You'd been around them for the last three years of your college education, only this time during your last year, you were working alongside them. It was a weird adjustment, going from seeing them in the corridors post-game, relaxing on the weekends at a bar to shadowing their athletic training staff during practices and games. When you mentioned your internship, Jamie didn't even bother to ask you if you wanted to shadow the Dallas Stars Athletic Trainers. Mainly because he knew you were too afraid to ask. So he just went up to Jim Nill and asked if you could do your internship there for the season and that was it.

That's how you got your internship.

You were grateful for the fact that your brother was able to help you get your foot in the door with this internship, which is why you did anything and everything that your 'bosses' asked. Whether it was replacing heating pads, washing the covers for them, changing the water in the heater– any grunt work, you did with no hesitation. And they appreciated seeing you so willing to learn what their day-to-day lives were like when they were on the job. Eventually, you went from doing grunt work to being able to tape up ankles, help with stretches, almost anything except for stitching. That, you weren't allowed to do.

The boys took you in as one of their own the moment most of them met you, your freshman year at SMU. It was easy to 'adopt' Chubb's little sister, as they so liked to put it. And the moment that you stepped foot into the training room with your official Dallas Stars polo, that's when the real fun began. Their jokes about you being 'Baby Benn' never seemed to end. You were often victim to their playful chirping and of course, they didn't bother to keep the language clean of innuendos are curse words. They knew that they didn't have to though, especially since you grew up with Jordie and Jamie Benn as your two older brothers. Not only had you'd grown up knowing what the Hockey atmosphere was like, but you could also give it right back to them.

And man, they loved it. Tyler, however, seemed to love it the most. Whether it was because he was Jamie's best friend or he just took a special interest in picking on you, you never figured it out. Besides Big Rig and Bishop, you were close to Tyler. Mainly, since he was Jamie's best friend, but also because of all of the ways he's helped you out in the last four years. He and Jamie moved you into your dorm room every year since freshman year. When they were on long roadies, Tyler paid you to come over and take care of the dogs, though you never took the money because playing with his three boys was like free therapy and his house was only a few minutes down the road. And if inclement weather forced you to evacuate campus and you didn't feel like staying on Jamie's fancy leather couch, Tyler offered you one of his many guest rooms. Though most of the time, you just took the couch at Jamie's.

Tyler may be your big brother's best friend so you've got to know him a little bit over the last few years...but if there was one thing you knew most about him, it was his womanizing reputation about Dallas. Hell, around anyplace he steps foot in. He knows he's a damn good hockey player, he knows that he's not exactly ugly and he's damn well aware of all of the women who'd love to say that they spent the night with Stanley Cup Champion, Tyler Seguin. And he doesn't care because like any 20-something male, he's getting laid and that's all that matters.

Which, you guess is why the two of you tend to butt heads and chirp at each other the most. You can't stand guys who bounce from girl to girl and he's just an ass. Especially since he always joins in whenever Jamie rags on your boyfriend of two years, Cole. For as long as you've been dating, Jamie and Tyler have refused to let up on the jokes involving his red-shirt senior status on the baseball team or his involvement in Beta Upsilon Chi. They'd always sneak in stupid frat jokes whenever they were around him, knowing that he'd probably never catch on. You couldn't rebuke them though, because well...Cole kind of was your stereotypical Frat bro. But you got enough of the negative comments from your dad and oldest brother whenever you were at home, you didn't want them to follow you down at school too.

Your ringtone blaring from your backpack that was hanging on the back of your chair tore you away from your textbook. When you put it down, you noticed that the training room was empty and their warm-up music was echoing softly from outside of the room. It happens sometimes, you getting so lost in your schoolwork that you just tend to zone out all noise. And you weren't needed out on the bench until game time anyway, so it was no wonder why Dave didn't bother to interrupt your reading.

You reached into your backpack and grabbed your phone, looking at the screen to see that Cole was calling. Pressing the green button, you brought the phone up to your ear and picked your book back up. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey babe where are you?" His voice was being muffled by the loud music coming from his end of the call.

You laughed, turning another page. "I think the better question, is where are you?"

You could hear him talking to people in the background as the music overtook his side of the call. Ignoring it, you took a deep breath and sighed, re-reading over a paragraph. "What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything besides asking where you were."

The music and sounds of people mingling muffled on his side of the call, making it a little easier to hear him. "Oh I'm at the house, where are you? Are you almost ready to head over?"

Flipping another page, your focus starts to dwindle from Cole and more into your textbook. "Um, no? I'm at the arena for work."

"What do you mean? Why are you at the arena?" The muffled sound of music doesn't last much longer as it practically erupts through the speaker on your phone. He must have gone back into the pre-game.

You pull the phone away from your ear and check the time. Warm-ups shouldn't be ending for another five minutes, meaning nobody should be coming into the training room or the corridor anytime soon. You pressed the speaker and placed your phone onto the desk. "I'm working tonight, remember?"

"Uh, no? You never told me you were working tonight!" He yelled over the music, saying hi to more people as he traveled through the house no doubt. "You're supposed to be here in like, thirty minutes, Y/N. It's Beta Ball! You said you'd be here."

"Actually, no I didn't," you could feel yourself begin to get annoyed as you heard one of his friends offer him two shots. "I told you that I had to work. I even printed out a schedule and gave it to you, remember?"

The sound of him gulping down two shots echoed over your phone as he sighed in relief. "You didn't give me a damn schedule, Y/N."

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were telling yourself to cut him some slack since he was obviously in the midst of pre-gaming. But another part of yourself just wanted to tell him you were busy and hang up the phone. Cole could care less about his schoolwork, only frat parties, preparing for his upcoming season and then getting drafted.

"I did give you a schedule, Cole. I gave it to you on Monday," you flipped another page, "which was four days ago."

The music started to muffle again, soon followed by the sound of a door shutting– muffling the music completely. "This party is a huge deal, Y/N. It's one of the biggest parties of the semester and if you're not here I'll look like a total fucking loser. It's the damn formal!"

You couldn't help but snort as his statement. "It's not the biggest party of the year, Cole. You're just drunk."

He must be stumbling around whatever room he's in because you can hear him bumping into things and stuff being thrown on the floor. It was surprising how bad his tolerance was, especially for being in a frat. "You're not even a real fucking trainer, why are you there?"

"It's my internship for my degree, Cole. Some of us care about getting a college education instead of worrying about what to wear to the next sleazy frat party," you chuckled to yourself, shaking your head. "So calm down the roid-rage and enjoy your party of the year."

"Are you fucking coming or are you too busy being a bitch errand-girl for your brother's shitty team?"

"Jesus Christ, Cole it's not even a real ball!" You yell, just as the sound of a door opening and closing echoes around you. "It's literally that stupid party where girls have to wear lingerie and the boys just spend their time ogling over them."

A wave of green rushed into the room, coming to a stop at the table closest to me. They pulled their warm-up jersey over their head before you could even make out who it was. But the moment you saw the fancy script of one familiar Stanley Cup tattoo, you knew who it was. You picked up the phone, taking it off of speaker bringing it back to your ear as he continued to dress down from his gear. "What? Have you contracted an itch from all of the girls you've been seeing?"

Tyler looked over at you and smiled, shaking his head as he kept undressing. "Don't enjoy the show too much."

"Seriously Y/N, it's super fucked up that you're not coming tonight! You owe it to me, I'm your fucking boyfriend!" His slurred voice must have been heard from your phone since Tyler looked over at you again with a raised eyebrow. "If you don't show up, we're done! You can take your shit a-and get lost."

"I need service, please," Tyler said, taking your attention away from the phone call and hopping up onto the table in nothing but his pants and his pads. He was sitting up straight and had his hands in his lap like he was a kindergartner waiting for storytime.

"Sorry Seguin, I don't provide the kind of service you're used to."

He rolled his eyes and kicked up both of his legs, taking off his sicks and shin pads. "Not that kind, the athletic training kind." His eyes moved over to the phone against your ear and then back at you. "Or are you too busy?"

"Is that a guy?" Cole slurred, his loud slurping from his new drink grossing you out. "Y/N, who the fuck are you with?"

The annoyance from the entire phone call was bubbling up until you couldn't take it anymore. "Listen, Cole, I need to go," you looked over at Tyler, setting down and closing your book. "I'm busy."

"Are you at least going to fucking try and come to the party instead of wasting away like an old maid?" You raised your eyebrows at his comment, your inner voice telling you to refrain from snapping at him.

And yet, it was hard not to feel guilty since you knew how important these frat parties were to Cole. You sighed and stood up from the chair. "Maybe after the game, I don't know."

He didn't even bother to reply to your response and instead, just hung up on you. You pulled the phone away from your ear and stared at it to see that he had, in fact, hung up on you. "Rejection hurts, huh?"

You rolled your eyes at Tyler's comment and placed the phone back down onto the desk, then making your way over to him. "Is there any reason why you just performed a half-assed strip show in the training room?"

"Oh no, that's not my strip show," Tyler laughed, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "You'd know my strip show if you saw it. It leaves the ladies dripping."

"Why? Because they pissed themselves from laughing so hard?"

In true Tyler fashion, he rolled his eyes and stuck his feet up at you. "I need my ankles taped and don't worry, Dave said you could do it."

"A little late there, don't you think?" You asked, walking over to the cupboards that held every material you'd need. "Or is the Tyler Seguins' supposed big brain, not able to support memory?"

"Yeah, well I got distracted by your brother and his fawning over Katie...again."

You laughed, taking the basket with everything that you'd need back over to the table he was sitting on. "Ah, so you've been caught up on the drama?" You grabbed a stool and brought it to the end of the table, resting a knee on it as you nodded for him to scoot back and extend out his leg.

He leaned back on his hands, watching as you began to tape his ankle. "At this point, I think their relationship history could give lifetime at least three new movies."

"Lifetime movies, huh? Didn't take you to be the kind of guy to tune in to those." You focused on going through the appropriate steps, keeping your eyes on his ankle. "Maybe Hallmark, but definitely not Lifetime."

"Wow, you know so little about me, I'm hurt. Besides, their 'sucks to be sixteen' marathons are great." He brought his right knee up as you tapped the finished ankle before moving onto his left. "Let me guess, you love the Hallmark Christmas movies and you've never missed a single one?"

You looked up at him for a few seconds before looking back down and continuing to work on his ankle, not answering his question. He wiggled his foot, causing you to look back up at him. "Seguin, I swear to–"

"Ha! I knew it! You're a total sucker for those cheesy, romance Christmas movies."

"For your information," You meticulously started to wrap his ankle with the pre-wrap. "It's a family tradition, at least between my mom, my sister and me. Dad and the boys wouldn't be caught dead watching those." You paused, smiling for a second. "Unless it's the Candace Cameron-Bure ones. Jamie's a sucker for those."

A comfortable silence settled over as you finished up his ankle. When you tapped it, he sat up and pointed down at the floor. "Can you pick up my socks? I don't want to have to bend down to get them."

"Why, is Mr. 3% body-fat getting, dare I say..." you faked a gasp as you bent down to pick up his socks. "lazy?"

"No," he swung a sock out at you, missing you by a few inches before bending over to put it back on as you walked over and placed some tape down for him to use. "So Cole..."

"Ugh, can we please not talk about him?" You groaned, putting the basket back into the cupboard. "I swear our that phone call gave me a migraine, so I don't need to hear your jokes."

"No, not that." he put on both shin guards before moving on to fixing his socks. "I just...does he always talk to you like that?"

"Like what?"

"Oh I don't know, let me think," He put the tape down next to him before, getting off of the table. "Does, ‘are you fucking coming or are you too busy being a bitch errand-girl for your brother's shitty team?’ sound familiar?"

You stopped in front of the desk, looking at him and feeling your embarrassment start to take over. "Y-You heard that?"

He nodded his head towards the door and reached down for his skates, putting them back on. "So does he? Talk to you like that?"

You realized how cliche it would seem if you told Tyler that it was only when Cole was drunk, that he talked to you that way. But the last six months of your relationship had been a little hostile. Senior year was a pressure on both of you, but Cole seemed to be wearing it far worse than you. "He was drunk, what does it matter?"

"It matters because I have two younger sisters and I know for a fact that if one of their shitty boyfriends talked to them that way, he'd end up in an ER bed." He stood up off of the table and turned to pick up his warm-up jersey.

"Well good thing you're not my brother then, huh?" You joked, expecting him to make a comment back at you.

Instead, he looked a little lost in thought before he shook himself out of it, smiling at you. "Doesn't mean I still wouldn't put frat boy Cole in an ER bed."

You walked around the desk, plopping down into your chair as the murmuring of voices from down the hall echoed from the hallway. "Better get going, don't want to be late for the meeting."

"Yeah, I guess," Tyler tossed his jersey over his shoulder and headed towards the door, stopping in front of it. "Are you going tonight? To that party...with Cole?"

You looked up from your book, caught off guard by his question and the way he said it. For a moment, if you weren't convincing yourself that you were delusional. You'd think that Tyler looked...concerned or maybe even a bit genuinely curious about your nighttime plans.

You shrugged your shoulders, picking the book back up. "I don't know, maybe. There's usually some lingerie contest at this thing and the winner gets a $100 tab to some bar downtown, so maybe if I leave here in time."

You made sure to pay attention to the way he reacted to your response. His features darkened a little bit before he turned away from you walking out of the training room. You returned back to your book, only to be interrupted by someone clearing their throat. When you looked up, you saw Tyler leaning back in, a smile on his face. "Any chance I can get some pics?"

You threw the empty roll of tape on your desk in his direction and he ducked out of the way, laughing all the way down the hallway. "BYE Tyler!" You called out, returning back to your textbook.

As your eyes skimmed the words that your brain failed to absorb, a smile crept onto your face as you looked back up into the empty doorway. "No," you said, shaking your head and closing your eyes, following it with a deep breath. "No, absolutely not. Do not go there."

When you opened your eyes, a small sinking gut feeling took over when you looked into the empty hallway. Part of you wanted Tyler to reappear in the doorway with his goofy grin. But he wasn't there, and neither was his stupid request for lingerie pictures or his...amazingly stupid abs. What bothered you the most though, wasn't the fact that he wasn't standing there...but what he meant by his request.

Did he want lingerie pictures of the other contestants...or of you?

[mudandhoney705-blog]

Meet the Maker: 20 Questions With Yours Truly

Hey gang,

I thought I would take some time to introduce myself this week. I figured, if you are curious about our products, you might want to know a little bit about who is making them, and also, who is writing this blog. So here you go: 20 questions. Asked by me, answered by me(that should make it easy).

Question #1. Who the heck are you?

My name is Nathan Dale. I'm a Father to a 2 year old boy, a husband, son, and brother to 5 awesome siblings. My family and I live in Innisfil, Ontario(That's in Canada, eh?). I'm 31 years old. I run my own business(this one) from home, which I operate through the week as much as I can(although at times it is a 24/7 thing), and I work long hours on weekends at my second job, to make up for the time off through the week. My interests include Soap(obvi), fatherhood, self-improvement, fitness, scotch, tattoos, music, and hockey(Go Leafs Go!). I think that about sums it up.

Question #2. Where did you grow up?

I grew up in the town of Bradford, only a 20 minute drive from my house now. At the time, it was a small place, mainly made up of descendants of Portuguese, Dutch, and English settlers. I grew up working on farms around the area, as that is pretty much all that was out there at the time. Bradford has exploded over the last 5 or 10 years, but it is still a farm town at heart. So much so, that they celebrate every year with a carrot festival. I loved working on farms. Fewer things feel better than working hard outside all day, then coming home to a long bath and falling asleep when your face meets the pillow. I am thankful for that experience.

Question #3. How did you do in school?

Terrible. I dropped out of high school – twice. But I went back and finished as an adult. It was then that I realized how easy the work was, if I just focused on it and got it done. It was also when I discovered my passion for writing, which I am now trying to put to use.

Question #4. Did you go to college/university?

Nope. When I turned 19, I had already moved out of my parent's place, and was working full time. I spent my early 20s working in a factory. I hated the work, but I met a lot of great friends on the night shift who I still talk to today, as well as the woman who would become my wife. I also learned a trade. I'd say things worked out pretty well.

Question #5. Why did you start your own business?

Since I started 'adulting', I have always been an overtime/side hustle kind of guy. Or, at the very least, someone who wants to keep busy. Before my son was born, I played in a band, I had a golf membership, and worked overtime almost every weekend – between gigs! Since then, things have changed. When I decided to make a go of it, I had been looking for a good side hustle, and since I was already making soap, and there seemed to be a lot interest in the sort of product I could bring to market, I thought “why not?”.

Question #6. What's the deal with the band?

The summer of 2011 was a big deal for me. My wife and I got married, and I started playing in my first band. I had played drums since I was 13, but never in a group. We were called Sleepless, and we were. We played originals, and never really made any money, but we played our butts off, and went on small 2-3 week-long tours. Some of the best memories I have are from the 4 years I spent behind the kit, and I hope to do it again someday.

Question #7. Did you say 5 siblings?!

Yep! I'm one of 6. 3 boys, 3 girls, spaced out over 18 years. All with the same biological parents, who just celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary, Mom and Pops!

Question #8. How do you balance being a dad and working 2 jobs?

That, my friends, is another blog entry altogether.

Question #9. Have you done much traveling?

Not really, no. I've done a lot of sight-seeing in this area(4hr radius), and I've been to Montreal a handful of times, and the Maritime Provinces once. When my wife turned 30 we took a trip to Cuba, which was fun, but the resort-style vacation isn't my cup of tea. I'd rather explore, and meet locals, find hole-in-the-wall pubs, and take in other cultures.

Question #10. If you could go anywhere, where would it be?

It's a toss-up. I've always wanted to hike through Scotland and do a scotch tour of some kind, but I live in Canada, one of the most beautiful countries in the world, and I've only seen 0.001% of it. Especially now that I'm a dad, I'd love to pack the family up and spend a month or two, driving coast to coast.

Question #11. You cheer for the buds, eh?

Sure do. I have memories of visiting my grandparents when I was really young, and the Leaf game always being on in the background. I can remember my Papa yelling at the T.V., “Shoot the puck!”.

I started out as just a hockey fan in general, with as many as 6 'favourite' teams. But, the more other people told me the Leafs stunk, the more I liked them, and wanted them to win. I know, “losers since '67, blah blah blah”. But one day, it's gonna happen!

Question #12. Are you a vegan?

My soaps are. I am not.

Question #13. What kind of music do you listen to?

My taste has changed a number of times. That's one of the best parts about music. If a certain song comes on by an artist I used to listen to quite a bit at a different time in my life – Bam! It can put me right back into that time, a specific moment, even. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of newer indie folk, but I'm also revisiting a lot of classic Motown. I guess I feel the need to offset all the sad-sap folk with something upbeat. Both of these genres are generally kid-friendly, so its great to put on a playlist and not have to worry about what song is next when my son and I are hanging out.

Question #14. What is the most interesting thing about you?

I would have to say it's my contradictions. For instance, I'm a 6'3, 240lb bearded man with a rugged exterior, but I make soap. I love smoking cigars, but I use all-natural toothpaste. I drink scotch(when I can afford it), but I wake up early to make blueberry pancakes and dance to The Jackson 5. I could go on, but you're probably picking up what I'm laying down. Variety is the spice of life, er, something.

Question #15. What is your biggest regret?

Lame. Next?

Question #16. What is your favourite book?

The Obstacle Is The Way: The Timeless Art Of Turning Trials Into Triumph, by Ryan Holiday. The title says it all, really. Holiday uses historical figures to demonstrate how successful people not only survive adversity, but find ways to use the very thing that is stopping them from reaching their goals, to their advantage. I would recommend it to anyone.

Question #17. What is your favourite movie?

I like epic period pieces, like Gladiator, Gangs of New York, and 12 Years A Slave. Slap-stick comedies are good. But I watch more Dora and The Wiggles nowadays.

Questions #18. What is your guilty pleasure?

I know all of the lyrics to Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill album. It's just really good writing, okay?!

Question #19. If you weren't making soap, what would you be doing?

There are a few other things I could see myself doing. I've always liked the idea of restoring old furniture. I'd likely be playing music, albeit a quieter instrument. Maybe a podcast about fatherhood, or modern men's lifestyle in general. It's hard to say.

Question #20. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

The dreaded, yet standard performance review question! Look, this is how I see it: If life ended tomorrow, I'd be happy. Not happy to die, but happy with what I had done with my time. I like how things are right now, and I'm grateful for what I have. That being said, while I am here, I am going to continue working. Working on myself, working on my family, my house, my business... all aspects. If you are given the time and the opportunity, you owe it to those who weren't, to make the best life you can. So, in 5 years, If my family and I are healthy, I'll be happy. If Mud & Honey is still in business, I'll be stoked, and if both have flourished, I'll be ecstatic.

Thanks for reading, folks. Please leave a comment or criticism in the comment section below!

[blogdience]

The Last Hoorah

Welcome back to weekly blogs!!

Why do audiences consume what they do? What needs are audiences searching to satisfy based on the media they are searching to consume?

Audiences interact and engage with media for many different reasons and use media to fulfill many different needs depending on a user’s emotional well-being or a goal at a said moment in time.

For instance, many students may turn to their social media accounts to connect with friends or to keep up on the latest news every two minutes; to satisfy what needs exactly?

                       The need for escape or distraction from work.

We have all done it, student or not, media content is used as a constant distraction, although at times we may use media content to further excel our knowledge, such as digging for videos or articles to learn more on a topic.

For this particular theory of Uses and Gratifications, I want to focus on a little app I love and continuously use to satisfy my needs as a consumer of media; YouTube.

YouTube is a platform filled with videos to satisfy many needs of its users. Whether an audience member needs a good laugh, and informative learning video, or a good playlist of songs to match their mood, YouTube offers it all.

It makes me think about the particular YouTube videos I watch and reflect on why I choose to watch the videos I do and what need I am trying to fulfill.

I have always been interested in crime and the psychology and the mystery behind a criminal’s actions. I believe my fascination for it all came from my father and his career as a Peel Police detective in organized crime. 

My Dad in his full Peel Police get-up as him and my mom head to his retirement ceremony. 

First time ever seeing him wear this suit, he was always in jeans and plain t-shirts going to work!

It is something that always intrigued me, partly because the “behind the scenes” of criminal activities are only shown in movies or other fictional forms. I think the idea that humans can do such awful things, and the excitement of trying to solve something so extreme, fascinated me growing up and continues to do so. I went back and forth for years thinking of all the ways I could become a detective or deal with murder or missing people’s cases without starting as a boring ticket or traffic officer. 

Now I realize for all jobs, as drake says, you need to start from the bottom.

I have been watching true crime YouTube videos for years. When I say true crime, the videos I watch are solved and unsolved murder cases, as well as, missing people or solved abduction cases. I would think of it as a topic I am extremely interested in, however, I am not in school studying. Therefore, I turn to these videos, whose creators usually have a background in criminology, to fulfill my “needs” or interest in such topics.

Two of my favorite YouTubers who I religiously watch are Bella Fiori and Kendall Rae.

As discussed in the lecture on October 10th, Gratifications can be broken down by the MAIN acronym.

           M-modality

           A-agency

           I-interactivity

           N-navigability

I watch their videos via YouTube on both my phone and laptop; whichever is most convenient at the time that I want to watch. This is referred to as mobility. No matter where I go, I am satisfied that YouTube is available as an app via my phone or on my laptop via Safari.

As much as I love watching videos on YouTube, I also love creating videos on YouTube. I have mainly only created travel and fun vlog videos, but this is an example of agency. I consume YouTubes content but turn into a prosumer when I share my own content.

Enjoy...

When I watch YouTube videos, I do not often comment or like the video. However, there are users who do feel the need to leave their opinion, like or dislike the video or take it a step further and mimic, mock or turn it into a meme. 

Such as Rebecca Black's song “Friday”, that Professor Good showed in the lecture on November 14th, 2019. 

In the instance of the true-crime videos, as I mentioned earlier, Kendall Rae sells merch where 100% of the proceeds goes to the organization called “Thorne” where they help find victims, limit crimes, and raise awareness for sex trafficking. Audience members who purchase, design the t-shirts, leave suggestions, or share, are interacting with the creator’s content. Interacting with media content this way gives the audience members a chance to give back and feel fulfilled in doing so.

Lastly, most social media users do not just have one form of social media. I personally find myself following and interacting with the YouTubers I watch across other social media platforms. 

Different platforms of social media allow audiences to interact with media is various different ways based on what the platform offers. However, when texts get spread across different platforms it can cause a telephone effect. News or scandals can get misinterpreted or easily spread like wildfire. Not only that but with many different platforms of media allows for many different opinions.

We live in a digital day and age where “cancel culture” is huge. If one thing is misinterpreted or decoded in the wrong way, audience members can turn a person’s world upside down within hours.

In recent news, Don Cherry, a long-time Canadian Icon, shamed Canadians who do no purchase poppies during the month of remembrance for Canadian soldiers. For those who missed the live Coaches Corner episode, where Cherry “misspoke” by referring to immigrants as “you people” instead of addressing it as “everyone”, the video can be found on almost every social media platform… 

However, here is a video from City News Toronto’s YouTube channel…

The whole scandal started when Don Cherry was mentioning the poppy. A widely known symbol throughout Canada that reminds its nation of all the fallen soldiers who fought for our freedom and the ones that continue to do so.

That nights broadcast of Hockey Night in Canada was broadcasted to millions, not just in Canada, but all of America too.

How an audience interprets Don Cherry’s message is based solely on each individual audience members personal experiences and upbringing. For instance, immigrants and people of color were mainly offended by Cherry’s comments. Defending themselves, many of “those people” who immigrated to Canada, who claim that they do wear a poppy and support the Canadian vets were extremely offended by the comments made. Of course, on the contrary, those who were on Cherry’s side either kept quiet or were majority white Canadians who were born and raised here.

In this instance, those who came to Canada felt attacked by Cherry’s comments and those who were born and raised in Canada agreed with his comments. 

For instance, I am a twenty-year-old female, born and raised in Canada, and I grew up in a very hockey-oriented family which led to Don Cherry being on my television set every Saturday night. From my perspective, what Don Cherry was attempting to say was correct and everyone, whether born here or not, should be wearing a poppy in remembrance. I do not agree with how he spoke and the words he chose to use to get his message across. However, I may interpret Cherry’s comments in that way because of my background and how I was raised. 

While many people have their thoughts and opinions, I think in this case especially, the audience member’s background and demographics directly affect how you respond to the comments made by Cherry and your reaction to the news of him being let go after 38 years of Hockey Night in Canada.

However, times are changing, rights are changing, and in this social media, cancel culture day and age, comments such as Don Cherry’s do not always fly.

Fans were furious when SportsNet announced they were letting Don Cherry go. The buzz around it all hit home for many Canadians and others who grew up with Coaches Corner every Saturday night tuning in to see Don’s many crazy suits. Cherry became a Canadian icon for a reason, he became a part of the hockey audiences Saturday night viewing routine. 

Often, hockey fans become very immersed with the games they watch, especially if it is their favourite team playing. Don Cherry would give his professional hockey advice based on his evaluation of the first period. The part that made Don Cherry so popular, is his straight to the point, uncensored opinions. Cherry, aside from his hockey sense, is known to be unapologetically himself and I believe that is what fans loved about Coaches Corner. When Coaches Corner appeared after the first period, at least in my hockey household, everyone would stop and listen to Don Cherry’s thoughts on how the players, coaches, or refs were performing.

The firing of Don Cherry disrupted many Saturday night hockey rituals.

The week following Cherry’s firing, conversations throughout fans started circulating. Fans began questioning who Cherry will be replaced with or what will now fill the Coaches Corner broadcasting time after the first period.

Fandom is “associated with cultural tastes of subordinated formations of the people, particularly those disempowered by any combination of gender, age, class, and race” (Fiske cited in Sullivan, p 193).

Fandoms can hold great power when they rally together. 

For instance, Don Cherry got fired due to audience members complaining and writing into SportsNet.

On the contrary, fans of Cherry and Coach’s Corner are currently rallying together, and earlier this week protested outside of Rogers (Owner of SportsNet) headquarters in Toronto.

Whether or not Cherry gets brought back, the voices of fans are very powerful and are heard.

For instance, the city of Toronto, while awaiting Kawhi Leonard’s decision on signing with the Raptors, tried to sway the basketball star to stay with Toronto by offering “Kawhi and Dine” restaurants where Kawhi and his family would be able to eat for free. A multi-million-dollar penthouse was also offered to Kawhi for free along with many other things. Fans of Toronto and all of Canada was making an outcry for Kawhi to stay and as a result companies and real estates offered up insane deals if the athlete signed with the Raptors.

Not a bad time to be Kawhi...

Meet mini Brooke...

This is me when I was in grade four and did my very first speech on my favourite hockey player Sidney Crosby. That same year I got a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey with Crosby’s number as well as a hat.

In the lecture on November 7th, Professor Good listed on a spectrum the types of fandoms from the most passive to the most active. From passive to active the continuum went as follows; Consumer, enthusiast, fan, petty producer.

As a young fan of Sidney Crosby and always begging my parents for Penguins merchandise, I would definitely put myself in the consumer category. I would also consider mini Brooke to be an enthusiast as well as a fan because those pictures were taken moments before my dad recorded me saying my speech and later emailing it off to the Pittsburgh Penguin team.

Arguably, I could be a producer by making a fan letter and video of my speech to send to Crosby. Weeks later I got a response from the team and a signed Crosby hockey card.

Some fandoms, for instance, take their support and turn themselves into producers such as creating fan pages, blogs or YouTube accounts dedicated to the content they are fans of.

Sullivan mentions Intellectual property and discusses the challenging question of when users of digital media create content who exactly owns the content that is being generated? Should content creators, regardless of the size of their following, be given credit or payment for the refurbishment of their work?

Jack Denmo is a Canadian YouTuber from Hamilton, ON who started creating videos interviewing young adults within the bar atmosphere of Hess Village. He has a subscription of 414,000 people on YouTube and 29,500 followers on Instagram. Just recently the television station French TV aired Jack's videos on their program. One of Jacks' follower's videos recorded the feature and sent it to the YouTube Creator. 

Jack responded by posting it on his story asking French TV “Where're my cheques, boys?”.

Content creators, especially YouTubers, produce content and post it on a public platform where it has the potential to be scooped up by big companies or stations such as French TV to then be used as television entertainment for their audiences without any payment given to the original creator.

Many of us are working for these large companies for free and our audience attendance and participation are sold to advertisers. Many blog websites or social media sites would not be able to support themselves if audience members did not actively, but passively, work for them. 

Sullivan coins this term as “Crowdsourcing”. This means that companies rely on content creators and audience members to create content for them. 

For instance, many companies such as Frito-Lay did a competition with its consumers, challenging them to come up with their next chip flavour. While consumers went to work inventing and working with different flavours to create the next Lays flavour, Frito-Lay sat back and let the consumers do the work. 

On a smaller scale, I previously mentioned the YouTuber Kendall Rae and the Thorne initiative to raise awareness around sex trafficking. The t-shirt designs that are sold are to raise money for Thorne are created by Kendall Rae’s audience members. This is another example of Crowdsourcing because Kendall Rae’s fans are putting in work and effort to create a design to be sold. These fans and contributors are of course unpaid.

As you can see, audience consumption, creation, and how audiences interpret the content that they consume is extremely powerful and can sometimes raise tricky questions. 

Audience experiences and interpretations of the content that is consumed can lead to the careers of people, such as Don Cherry, to be jeopardized and “canceled”. In a generation where fans can easily make their voices heard, it ultimately has a huge impact on certain media content and what is produced to appeal to what fans want. It becomes a sticky situation also when content creators are not getting correct recognition for the work, they put into the content they create. 

At what point should an online content creator get paid and given proper ownership of their content?

As well as, who has the power in today's society? The media or the audience?

If you ask me, from the examples I have talked about within this blog, it is evident that the audiences of today's media content hold extreme power. Media companies want to satisfy the needs of consumers and will go to lengths such as changing plot lines or firing popular segment hosts, such as Don Cherry, to avoid the possibility of being canceled by overbearing audiences. 

Today, Transmedia makes news and opinions of audience members spread like wildfire. Once the headline of something breaks loose, almost every social platform is booming with the opinions of its audience members. We live in an inescapable society, where thoughts and opinions are strongly being shared. Audiences, now than ever before, have the tools and access to make their concerns known and stand for their beliefs, thus, putting power now in the audiences hands.

Thanks for reading!!!

References

Sullivan, J. (2013 or 2020). Media Audiences: Effects, users, institutions and power (1st or 2nd ed.). Sage Publications Inc., New York, NY.

[emimiketrash]

That EmiMike x JJBek Highschool AU Headcanon that Nobody Asked For

Like really, nobody asked for two pairings in one headcanon. This was a random idea at 3 in the morning. Excuse this shitty sad piece of work.

This is basically Part 1 wherein I lay the groundwork. This is going to be long so go eat some food and a mug of hot chocolate while reading this. Please let me know if I should continue this. Thank you! Mickey and Otabek (The Bros)

Mickey and Otabek are best friends (mainly because Mickey knows that Beka is gay af and wouldn’t dare touch his sister, Sara). The first time they met, Otabek made it very clear that he wasn’t interested in women let alone Sara (she thought Otabek was rather cute). Like… M: (angry-threateningly) Let’s make this perfectly clear. Stay away from my sister or I will cut you in half in your sleep. O: Let’s make THIS perfectly clear. I’m not interested in your sister. S: *gasps* WHAAAAT??? M: (angry-surprised) …wha …what did you say? I call bullshit on that!!!! How can you say that so calmly?!?!?!? DON’T THINK THAT BY SAYING SUCH THINGS THAT I’LL LET YOU DATE SARA— O: I’m not interested in Sara because it’s how it is, Michele – I’m not interested in women. S: … M: …what? Sara understood what that meant immediately. Mickey took more time to get convinced.

Eventually, Mickey and Otabek bond over some little things like appreciation for good coffee, amazing literary pieces, and eventually, a love for good movies. They get to know each other better and become something like blood brothers.

People in school are afraid of Mickey (because people think he’s angry-crazy). He actually just cares too much. But he’s the best guy to go to for help with home economics stuff (but because he’s introverted as hell, he’s not used to helping people out). But he’s good with other subjects, too.

Mickey (and Sara) help out at their dad’s restaurant, which is the best one in the city, part-time. Mickey wants to take over the restaurant one day. Sara wants to do something else with her life (like being a theater actress with her “best friend”, Mila. At least, Mickey thinks they’re best friends. Otabek knows what’s up but won’t tell Mickey because he thinks Sara should do the honors.)

Otabek is a genius in music, art, and literature. He’s also quite good with history. Otabek wants to be a musician. He also DJs in his spare time. While he’s a god at dropping some fire-ass beats, he’s also experimenting with a more retro sound, like that of the 80’s.

Otabek goes to school on a foreign student scholarship, and lives with the Crispinos, and he also helps out at Mr. Crispino’s restaurant. Although Mr. Crispino, kind man that he is, is insistent that Otabek doesn’t need to work, Otabek says otherwise. At least he gets paid (and quite well) to help, and all that income is divided into 30% allowance and 70% sent back to his family at Kazakhstan (what an Ota-bae). Otabek’s allowance sometimes goes to saving up for new DJ-ing equipment.

Otabek keeps in touch with his other best friend, Yurio Plisetsky from ballet school back in Russia, through Skype (Yurio’s on tour at the moment). Every time they call, utter chaos happens in the house (ex. the police show up at the Crispinos because the neighbors heard loud screaming because of Mickey or Mr. Crispino yell at Yurio for the litany of offensive shit he says. #CrispinosHaveNoChill). Otabek still has no idea how to calm everybody down.

JJ and Emil (The Other Bros) Sidenote: I got the idea to make them best friends from this headcanon by @pasteurellapestis​. Bless them for their amazing EmiMike/MichEmil headcanons

JJ and Emil, the star hockey players of the school, basically rule the school. JJ is the well-celebrated King Bee captain and Emil is everybody’s favorite lovable dork.

They’re best friends because they both love sports, they’re both so lively it’s infectious, and they’re both the hottest guys at school. They’re both huge dorks. They’re nerdier than the science club nerds at school. Only Emil knows about JJ’s love for science.

They met back in freshman year when they both signed up for the hockey team. He saw Emil reading a science magazine and asked if he read that new article that dissected the study on positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles and why the process was impossible.

JJ’s family is loaded as fuck because they’re a family of professional athletes.

Emil’s dad designs cellphones for a huge tech company, and that’s how Emil not only got interested in technology, but it’s also how he gets a new phone every year (for free). His mom’s a doctor and is actually the Crispinos’ family physician. Her caring nature rubbed off on Emil, which explains why Emil cares so much for his loved ones. The Nekola family isn’t rich nor poor but they’re a happy bunch.

But because JJ is… well, JJ, it’s harder for him to be as endearingly nerdy as Emil. JJ has the whole cool guy branding he needs to maintain. But JJ is a huge science dork. He raves over everything new in the science world with Emil. Emil hits back with some new tech stuff.

JJ loves music. He secretly has a thing for 80’s music, especially power rock. But he doesn’t mind a fire beat every now and then, especially if it doesn’t sound either super basic or the music isn’t something annoyingly mainstream. He writes his own music sometimes. He’s also quite interested in photography. JJ sometimes crosses over to another town for photowalks because he can’t be seen in his local town because these kinds of things aren’t cool. (JJ does spot Otabek during one photowalk and wonders to himself, “Do I know him from somewhere?”)

Because Emil’s free as a bird to be himself, he’s actually part of the robotics club at school. He sometimes makes things that end up blowing up. One time, the whole school had to be evacuated because Emil’s latest robot set off the fire alarms. (Mickey scolded him for that one.)

Emil also loves anime, movies, TV shows, etc. with inventors, robots, hi-tech shit, and fantasy. He also loves “Phineas and Ferb” and the entire “Voltron” series. (He always thought of himself as Phineas and Mickey as Ferb.)

Mickey and Emil (EmiMike/MichEmil), Part 1

Mickey and Emil were childhood friends and neighbors. Their houses are next to each other’s. In fact, Emil and Mickey can see each other from their windows. Even if they both grew up and apart (or at least, Mickey thinks they grew apart), Emil still always loved Mickey.

Whenever Mickey wakes up in the morning and looks out the window, he always sees Emil waving at him (sometimes shirtless) and mouthing, “Good morning, Mickeeeey!" Mickey reacts by either yelling at him to put a shirt on or ragingly shutting the drapes.

Sometimes, Emil offers Mickey (and Otabek because Emil is such a nice guy huhu) a ride to school, to which Mickey vehemently refuses, thinking that Emil (and other guys) is just after his sister ever since puberty hit her like a big, yellow school bus.

Emil usually invites Mickey to sit with him at lunch, but Mickey regularly refuses. Mickey did sit with them once but he hated the experience because he thought JJ was radiating douchiness everywhere. (JJ is just bad at making good impressions, poor baby.)

Emil is always one to invite Mickey to go places with him: the groceries, the beach, the park, the mall, the local drive-in, etc. He even invited Mickey to dinner (just the two of them). Mickey always says no. Sometimes, Emil feels defeated because Mickey says no and sometimes doesn’t understand why his childhood friend became so distant.

Emil tried dropping shit tons of hints that it was Mickey he was interested in and not Sara, but all those hints just did was make Mickey think Emil wanted Sara. Mickey always fails to pick up those hints. Sara is tired af of her brother’s obliviousness. It’s clear to Sara and even Otabek that Emil is gay af for Mickey.

Emil confided in JJ about his feelings for Mickey. JJ was like, “Uhm, duh.” It went down like this, non-verbatim: E: Wait you knew? J: The whole school knows, man! Well, except Crispino himself. I think his sister knows, too. E: *smirks* Hmm, do you think Beka knows? J: Wh-- wha-- Beka? Who’s that? E: *teasingly* Oh, you know? Beka, our dear friend from Kazakhstan? J: Beka? Like, B-Becca Mitchell? E: *laughs his ass off* Yeah, sure. Becca Mitchell. Emil thinks JJ has a thing for Beka. And he was right.

Otabek and JJ (JJBek), Part 1

JJ, being observant as hell, always seems to notice Otabek whenever he sees the Kazakh boy anywhere. The first time he saw Otabek was at a photowalk in a neighboring town. (Otabek also noticed JJ but didn’t want to say anything. Beka thought it might not be a good idea to draw attention to JJ without the latter asking for it.) The second time was when he saw Otabek arriving to school on his motorbike (which JJ dubs as “The Otabike”). No one else except the Crispinos notices Otabek.

JJ asks Phichit Chulanont, everybody’s go-to information database, to dig up some information about Beka, to which Phichit took longer to do it than usual because Otabek hardly uses his social media accounts. Phichit had to resort to traditional investigative means to deliver.

JJ learned as much about Otabek as Phichit could uncover: that Otabek was from Almaty, Kazakhstan; that he was on a foreign exchange scholarship; that he lived with the Crispinos and works part-time for their dad’s restaurant; and that his closest friend was Michele Crispino. Basically, it was hard to find something about Beka other than that.

JJ decides to take it from here and attempt to be friends with Mickey (so he can get to Beka), only for the Italian man (who assumed that JJ wants to date Sara) to glare at the Canadian darkly and utter (of course), “You stay away from my sister or say goodbye to your dick. You pick.” JJ basically sweats nervously and quietly retreats. Otabek, who was watching the whole time, raises and eyebrow and wonders what the hell that was all about.

Otabek secretly is interested in JJ because he could see there’s something different about JJ that separates him from the other hockey players. Well, everyone knows Emil’s a dork, but with JJ, it’s something Otabek couldn’t seem to lay a finger on.

One time after PE, Otabek saw JJ step out of the shower in his post-shower naked glory. Otabek was sent to the infirmary because of extreme loss of blood. Mickey had to stay till his dad could pick Otabek up.

Otabek once told Yurio about JJ through their Skype convos and even sent pictures. Yurio thought that JJ looked like a douchebag, but willingly supports Otabek if he thinks JJ will make him happy (even if Yurio visibly cringes at the thought. Otabek smirks and laughs it off.)

Bonus Headcanons (in case y’all be wondering where everybody else is):

Phichit Chulanont is the local walking information database with huge-ass brows full of secrets. He runs the school newspaper (and its social media accounts), with Sara Crispino as his associate editor and Minami Kenjirou as a news correspondent. Phichit is also the number one source for information trading at school, but requesting for his services comes with a hefty price. Phichit sometimes uses his information to play matchmaker.

Yuuri Katsuki and Phichit are still best friends (like in canon-verse) because why the hell not. Minami usually tries to hang with them when he gets the chance. The two forget he’s even there sometimes. (There was one time when Phichit and Yuuri drove off just as Minami was about to open the door. Yikes.)

Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov are the crowned Homecoming power couple of the school. Victor is the head dance captain of the school and also rules the school alongside Yuuri. Because, well, why not? There’s no conflict of social power between Victor and JJ; Victor just doesn’t give a shit about JJ (ouch). When Victuuri walks down the hallways together, they basically come with their own theme song. (refer here)

Sara Crispino and Mila Babicheva are totally dating. Mr. Crispino whole-heartedly supports his daughter’s relationship. Mickey took more time to be convinced (especially about the existence of lesbians like wtf Mickey seriously) but came around. Sara and Mila are also part of the school’s drama club.

Leo de la Iglesias and Guang-hong Ji are also part of the hockey team and are basically falling in love with each other. Although the two haven’t said anything, JJ totally ships them. He also sees Leo as his potential heir apparent.

Chris Giacometti is the guidance counselor at school who regularly promotes safe sex when someone comes in for counseling. He gives sex advice sometimes. His most notable counseling session that came with sex adviuce was with Leo and Guang-Hong (gee, I wonder why). When the old sex-ed teacher retired, Chris immediately applied for the position (and basically sweet-talked his way to get the job). He also brings his cat to school sometimes. Chris’ husband sometimes visits and brings him lunch.

Minako Okukawa, one of the dance club advisers, just loves watching Chris’ thicc booty bounce. During trainings, Yuuri sometimes has to catch Minako-sensei’s attention back to Earth just to refocus her attention on club practice.

Georgi Popovich is the adviser of the drama club (because why not). During an “investigation”, Phichit unearthed photos of Mr. Popovich’s career wherein he played Caribose during a run of Sleeping Beauty at West End, and he looked like he applies makeup like it’s a pie to the face. No one could look at Mr. Popovich the same way again.

Phichit has a particular crush on the fashion club’s vice-president, Seung-gil Lee. Seung-gil feels the same way but doesn’t know how to express his feelings.

Yakov Feltsman is the school principal. He particularly dislikes Victor sometimes for being unconventionally rebellious and annoyingly chill. Yosek Karpíšek is the vice-principal. Lilia Baranovskaya is the head of the arts department and is sometimes confused as to why the hell she hired Minako.

It’s actually much longer than I anticipated, but if you stayed till the end, thanks for reading this. Stay tuned for Part 2 (where somebody saves the school dance and enthralls one of our main characters loljk)!

[nurseyydex]

consider this: SMH & one direction

i just wanna talk about smh and 1d ok im so sorry this wasnt supposed to be this long i have no control 

dex grew up with sisters (let me have this he has a bunch of sisters ok) so not only was he completely unable to escape one direction he was not allowed to get away with any sort of ‘bands that have mainly young female fanbases are not real music’ misogyny that lots of teen boys and adult males have 

so he likes 1d he doesnt advertise but he had to listen to them a lot so he knows their entire discography and what they have some good songs ok bro 

so yeah they find their way into his workout playlists so fucking what man they’re fucking hype songs 

his fave is niall bc hes chill and just wants to drink beer and play his guitar and listen to dad rock and he’s irish (dex is irish and is grandma loves niall bc she’s irish and what a sweet young lad) he’s not like die hard niall stan but he knows all of the 1d discourse from his sisters debating (im willing to listen to other opinions my back up is louis bc hes a punk) 

he save up one year (and got help from his fam) to get tickets for his sisters to see a wwa concert as a birthday/christmas/every holiday present bc theyre expensive and they dont have a lot of money 

his mom technically bought the tickets he just helped pay for them and the girls surprised him with a ticket for him to come with (mama poindexter: well i cant let them go alone who’s gonna watch them you have to go make sure they dont get arrested for doing something stupid) dex played it cool but it was such a fun concert and so fun to hang out with his sisters tooo

nursey now is a goddamn hipster u cant tell me he isnt into a bunch of british alternative bands and bc of his brit music phase he knew about one direction from the very start at the x factor stage (he definitely mentions this all the goddamn time when they start becoming popular but he chills out through the years)

hes been to at least one concert for every tour (he even got tickets to the madison square garden show) - he went to every concert with his sister but it was his idea to go and she was just there to keep an eye on him

also a big reason he got into the band was zayn like heres a pakistani muslim boy who’s super talented with these white dudes and that representation is super important (i also hc nursey as muslim or at least partially but zayn is a brown muslim boy killing it so yeah its awesome) 

but nurseys fave tho is harry especially when harry is a total hoe with long hair and jewelry and those red carpet looks like nursey is in love but also in awe bc those sparkly boots and that floral suit like those are iconic Looks™ and nursey loves it bc gender isnt real and he loves hoe looks (zayn is like 1.5 tho bc nursey is in love)

nursey tries to serenade dex with little things one day when they’re chilling by the pond on the grass and dex punches him bc nursey is making him emo even when he knows dex doesnt have emotions (in public in front of people who can see him cry)

bitty likes them they’re no beyonce but theyre fun and attractive and yeah hes gonna have some fun dancing to them he isn’t really up with all the drama and disc*urse until the boys have 1d nights and they watch this is us and the concert dvds bc he learns a lot 

he loves 2013 era harry and all the time liam (that boy is thicc and bitty 100% does not swoon)

holster like come tf on holster loves them he unironically and passionately loves one direction completely unashamed he does not care for your opinions and no one makes fun of him bc he’s a 6′4 fucking big ass hockey player who could drop kick u across campus if he wanted to

he claims he doesnt have a fave but he would die for all of them 

his fave rotates seasonally and he has a different fave for each era 

he went to the tmh tour and he’s gone to every tour since - he goes with his sisters bc its a bonding topic for them he sits at the edge of the floor or at the end of a row on the sides bc hes so tall he feels so bad and he tries to stay out of the way of the little girls behind him but hes nice to them and talks to them and so they like him even if hes a giant

but really he and his sisters are so close bc they have a lot of similar interests and they talk about pop culture stuff and its hard to keep intouch when hes away so much but they have group chats about 1d and tv shows and stuff so its so nice for them to keep up a strong bonding time 

ransom is a britney bitch and holster dragged him into 1d. he’s in it for the memes and the drama really. (he likes the songs and thinks its fun but he wouldnt have been a fan and gone to concerts if it wasnt for holtz)

holster takes him to the wwa concert and they have a blast 

holster also drags his ass to see this is us opening night (they both cry)

chowder just loves everyone and he doesnt understand why people hate 1d (or other pop artists with majority young female fan bases that ppl hate bc misogyny) when theyre so fun he’s not an active /fan/ until smh has team bonding nights involving one direction jam sessions and concert dvd watching and drunk history

on such 1d nights they put on one of the dvds and it accidentally turns into a drinking game (mainly drinking bc this part of my god did u see that !!! THAT NOTE CHANGE !!!! and ZAYN WHY !!!! and other painful parts) and some of them *cough* nursey dex and holster *cough* get possibly the most drunk they ever get bc of this 

theres loud awful drunk singing along and some sobbing (this is definitely not based off of any sort of personal experience whatsoever nope never done this before) 

after the movie when everyone is so drunk they talk about 1d history which is how the veterans teach the others about the exciting drama and disc*urse  

lardo is a bad bitch who is tough as fuck and manages a division I mens hockey team and every single one of them is afraid of her. AND she would not let any bro tease her for liking one direction bc why the fuck not. 

she has plenty of their songs thrown in arting playlists and in pump up playlists 

and she knows theres nothing better to cheer holster up when he’s having a rough day than a 1d dance sesh 

dont forget where you belong is the first song on her team bonding playlist bc its a love song to ur bandmates which transfers very well to love songs to ur teammates 

shitty unapologetically loves 1d and boy bands and girl bands and he supports all things that young girls love but are not taken seriously bc girls like them 

he’s written at least 3 papers/projects on the misogyny surrounding young girls and their interests and involvement in fandom and also boybands (he tries to fight all guys who disrespect girls’ interests and the power of teenage girls)

he’ll randomly show up to a 1d night bc obvi he’s in that gc and he’s ready to party and express emotions and dance and talk drama 

he loves harry bc “THAT FLOW MAN!!! HIS FLOW IS SO SICK!!!”

he cried when harry posted the pic of the hair he chopped off and cried when he saw the another man shoot where harry was defying all sorts of societal norms it was beautiful and his flow is still so nice even this short its ok it’ll grow back better than before

one friday night the lax bros sneak over to try to prank the haus and peak in the window and see half of the hockey team in the living room drunk off their ass singing loudly to a one direction concert on the tv - holster and nursey jumping around attempting to dance along, ransom clinging to bitty on the floor crying about a ‘hiatus’, bitty soothing ransom, dex forgetting about the drink in his one hand to drink rum from the bottle, shitty naked (not surprising) and slow dancing with a life sized cut-out of harry styles with tears streaming down his face (more surprising), and chowder lying on the couch singing through mouthfuls of pie 

they walk back to the lax bro house without executing the prank and they never mention it again

[mariacorley]

How to be Black

My original reason for self-publishing a novel was to allow my protagonists, Langston and Cecile, the light of day. I started with the notion that if only a handful of people read my book, my beloved creations would still have lived and breathed somewhere other than on my computer. Publishers who cater to people like me used to be called vanity presses; there's some truth to that. It didn't take long before I began to dream of a larger audience, watching YouTube videos and absorbing blog posts that purported to show indie authors how to achieve unimaginable success. One of the most important parts of the plan seemed to be reviews, and so, emboldened by three 5 star reviews from total strangers, I asked everyone I could who had read my book if they would mind posting their opinions about it on Amazon. Some did, but many didn't, so I took it to the next level, paying to join a database that allowed me to contact random people who had demonstrated an interest in writing and sharing reviews.

I sent out numerous requests, but so far only a couple of those people have followed through. One of them is the inspiration for this post. Dr. Jacques Coulardeau sent me his review—two pages so full of inaccuracies and negative extrapolation that I was shocked that he gave me 4 stars—on Martin Luther King Day, a coincidence that I find ironic. Examples of his misleading statements include his portrayal of Cecile as “one who makes love with any boy available that is rather good looking,” for whom “pre-marital intercourse is a basic principle,” even though she has sex with exactly two men in the book, the first a one night stand during which she loses her virginity, the second her eventual husband. Coulardeau then glosses over the character's considerable internal conflict between her religious background and her sexual relationship with the “love of her life” by saying, “She does not realize her contradiction.” Um...not true. When Langston and Cecile meet, the reviewer says that Cecile “of course gives herself as if it were a question of life or death,” even though their relationship unfolds long distance. He even rebuts his own statement by adding “Cecile in a way makes the relation kind of satirical, humorous, un-serious.” Dr. Coulardeau states that Langston's decision to open a West Indian restaurant is simply because the cuisine is trendy. Um...nope. He also mentions that Langston's friends-with-benefits relationship, while in college, with the daughter of his Italian boss is doomed because of her father's disapproval, implying that Langston and Marietta aren't both aware, from day one, that their contact is a dalliance, and failing to mention an even more intense disapproval from Langston's Jamaican grandmother. And so on.

I won't dispute every incorrect statement, but—call me Donald Trump—I can't leave his final conclusion about my protagonists alone: “They definitely tricked their life-treks and they ended lost in some kind of tasteless, heartless, mindless deculturated wasteland.” His evidence? The characters are neither black nor West Indian enough for him. They eat West Indian food, but they don't speak the way he thinks they should (he is apparently a linguist; I'm merely someone who grew up as a Canadian West Indian). Further evidence of lost cultural identity includes Langston's decision to cook a  jerked turkey with mango salsa at Thanksgiving. I forgot to mention that the expert on what West Indians are supposed to be is an elderly Jewish man, who also took time out to pass judgments on Cecile's Christian journey in ways that my devoutly Christian readers did not. Huh?

These days, it's rare that a white person is overtly paternalistic enough to publicly claim knowledge of who black people should be, which is pretty much the same thing as informing us of our proper “place.” For obvious reasons, these kinds of statements are not nearly so uncommon in the black community. For example, the inability to “code-switch” is seen by some melanated people as proof of being an oreo: black on the outside, white on the inside. What does that mean, though?

Being an immigrant changes things, whether your relocation is voluntary or involuntary. Isn't it both natural and human to exert and receive influence as a result? When Dr. Coulardeau rails against the evils of multiculturalism, I think he may mean that distinct ethnic groups shouldn't lose touch with their cultural heritage. I support this idea, however, what does that include and exclude? Am I allowed to like only a particular kind of music, or cook a particular kind of food? If I am allowed to like things that aren't native to my ethnic group, a concept that has become hopelessly tangled, in most cases, by intermarriage (and here I mean even Jamaicans marrying Nigerians), how much should we like those things? How often can we indulge in them? What if we understand some of our ancestral language or dialect, but aren't fluent? Do we all need to repatriate to a country of cultural origin? Can we live in the suburbs? Or should our entire lives become a kind of performance art?

Coulardeau noted that “Canada is the best representative of multiculturalism and New York (where Cecile attends Juilliard) is one of the most diverse melting pot or salad bowl in the world,” calling the references to the various cultures there “anecdotal.” First, Canada is a vast nation, and I can assure you that most of it isn't particularly multicultural, although Toronto, where Langston lives (in Little Jamaica!), certainly consists of distinct ethnic enclaves. My main focus in writing the book, however, had to do with issues of personal growth that people can confront regardless of their race. Nevertheless, one reviewer said, “The issue of race is an important sub-stratum of the story and adds to its depth.” Another take: “How refreshing to encounter complex people who deal with racism and nonetheless dream beyond the limits of what's realistic. Unlike a lot of prime time television, Letting Go's characters defy stereotypes and earn your trust as a reader.” This reviewer, who is an African American female activist, also said of Cecile, “She's confident in her blackness and even when she's down, she's not out.”

Enough self-defense. I am more drawn to people's internal lives, so people who are looking for detailed discussions of place may be disappointed; my references to setting have a tendency to be secondary. That said, my book is semi-autobiographical (SEMI!), and I certainly could have included more of my own experiences with race and culture, including the very self-conscious efforts made by me and my black friends to reject as much as possible that wasn't considered “black,” whether it was by claiming to hate most of the music on the radio in our overwhelmingly white town, or never wanting to say a white person was attractive, because black beauty was so undervalued that it seemed wrong to add to the problem by endorsing the prevailing notions, even slightly. Some of my other formative experiences with my culture included learning about slavery and segregation, both in America and the West Indies, being sent to classes in West Indian dance, joining the Junior Afro-Canadian society consisting of my siblings and friends (to mirror the Afro-Canadian society my parents had joined), annual visits to Bermuda with my mom, and learning Jamaican folk songs from my dad. I also felt especially proud of hall of fame quarterback Warren Moon and the similarly storied hockey goalie, Grant Fuhr. Then again, was it “black” to even be aware of hockey? Or was that, too, the result of losing touch with my roots? Was it breaking down a barrier or assimilation when Arthur Mitchell founded the Dance Theater of Harlem? And if ballet is okay for black people, should Misty Copeland have ended up in a predominantly white company?

To be fair, I suspect Dr. Coulardeau might have been okay with Cecile's focus on classical music if the book had followed up a conversation about the need to incorporate music by black composers into her repertoire— something I endorse and have put into practice—with concrete examples. I admit to dropping the ball on that one; I was more interested in her character's awakening as a self-confident woman, just as I was interested in Langston's need to confront the fears that kept him bound, but although the book is already 500 pages long, a few sentences here or there would have made my novel richer. Them again, why should any black person, real or imaginary, have to define him or herself by someone else's cultural standards, which are higher, in this regard, than the bar most white people need to reach? One answer is that everything about black people has been denigrated so much that we need to affirm our identity. The thing is, we're still human, which means we're not monolithic. Will black people ever earn the right to just be, in all of our complex variations and manifestations? Or should all books feature black protagonists who speak mainly the vernacular, ideally in the inner city, during slavery or the Civil Rights era? Will melanated people always have to earn their “black card,” even if they're fictional?

Coulardeau sarcastically refers to Langston “so black...that his first girl friend is a white woman.” I put that relationship in my book is because seeing a black man with a white woman still produces a twinge in my gut, even though I realize that the importance of race has been inflated by a history of hate. If I'm honest, I must confess that I have some litmus tests of black authenticity: Clarence Thomas doesn't pass, for example, because his Supreme Court rulings and other statements have shown what looks to me like evidence of self-hatred. Still, I don't think it's reasonable to assume that every black man who gets involved with a white woman has fallen for the false notion that their pale skin makes them the biggest trophy of all. I want black men and black women to heal the deep wounds inflicted by injustice, set down the resulting baggage, and truly embrace each other. Still, it is my firm belief that we can love ourselves without climbing into a box. At least, I hope so, because the opposite of multicultural is homogeneous. Even if it were possible to retreat behind impenetrable racial and cultural fences, is that advisable? Can't I be black and still cook a damned turkey? Especially in Canada, where Thanksgiving isn't connected to its ancestral sins against aboriginal people (which certainly exist), but rather the thought that having a day off to sit down with your family and express some gratitude sounded like a good idea?

People have mentioned finishing my book and wondering what the characters did after it ended. Despite everything I just said, if I do write a sequel, I may just go into more detail regarding culture, which is something I don't always analyze deeply unless affronted. So even though I find Coulardeau's  comments presumptuous, misleading, and at times completely inaccurate, they did make me think.