#i gotta watch a documentary on this family now if there even is one

[hood-ex]

I always have to prepare myself for scenes where Zac Efron cries because his eyes are incredibly expressive when he's crying, and it makes me cry. It happens in every movie he's in where he has an emotional scene. He does sad and destroyed so well 😭.

[pinazee]

The Old and the Restless

The first episode to include another Spencer! Now, granted we don’t get much here other than henry doesn’t seem to get along with his dad and maybe doesn’t like the idea of his son being around him. Plus, I don’t think he’s ever mentioned again. I was hoping the introduction to grandpa spencer would give us some kind of reason for why henry is so controlling. We could possibly infer, strictly based on his personality, that grandpa spencer wasnt the most responsible and that henry, as elder brother, took on the brunt of taking care of the family. I mean, you could possibly even go as far as to say grandpa spencer had some run in’s with the law and thats how henry got interested in it- out of spite of his own father and thus leading to the idea that spencer sons resenting their fathers is like a family curse (i think thats actually a thing? I have a vague memory of someone saying it at least). But again, this is all speculation because we never see him again. Grandpas also act differently with their grandkids than their own kids too so who’s to say what it was like for henry growing up. Either way, this flashback really emphasizes how strict henry was, and the more flashbacks i see, the more saddened i get by how downtrodden little shawn is every time he shows up. Liam visibly shrinks when he sits next to him, its heartbreaking. But im glad his grandpa stuck up for him (which is probably why he never saw him again).

The way they pop up here makes me snicker

I love the fast one they played on henry! Shawn knew there was no way he would help unless he thought he could use it as an opportunity to show him up (because his dads a grade A asshole).

I also have no respect for men who call other men girls as an insult, especially when one of those men is his own fucking son. So you gotta imagine shawns heard that kind of bullshit his whole life, so i kind of give him a pass when he makes fun of gus for not being manly enough, though thankfully that seems to dissipate in later seasons so we can call it character growth (though i think it was just the writers, or maybe james, who decided it wasn’t very funny and just hurt the character). Henry has a lot of ground to cover before he can get redeemed in my book. He’s just the worst. im having a much harder time with henry during this rewatch.

Gus is being absolutely adorable here. This episode really made it seem like Gus was henrys kid too, not only because he’s completely comfortable sleeping on his shoulder (I’ve never felt that close to my friends parents at least) but also because he’s giving shit to henry as much as shawn is and i love it! It makes sense too considering how often gus was at his house, henry practically raised him as well.

This is a semi good shawn vs. henry episode. I wish they would have highlighted better how shawn and henry gather their information in different ways but it was more like Henry got some pieces and shawn got pieces but neither had the complete picture so they ended up just working together instead of against. I think i’d have preferred if henry was seeing all the same stuff but shawn actually came to the right conclusion, or that shawn showed kindness to the right person and got the key piece of info that way because ultimately its how he connects with people that separates him from henry (simply because henry is pretty good at seeing the same stuff shawn does a lot of the times is all).

“Just this time im going to teach you a lesson” just this time??? Thats literally all you do henry! Thats like your whole thing!

The way Henry says this makes it seem like he was struggling to call Gus his life partner haha

Shawn and gus both knew of african gambian pouch rats, so i can only assume they watched a nature documentary together haha Sidenote: i randomly looked up african gambian pouch rat to see what they looked like and they’re being used to sniff out tuberculosis apparently?!? Crazy stuff man.

Lassie just wanted to straight up incarcerate a child. Thank god karen became chief over him- could you imagine??? Shawn would definitely have been locked up in the pilot. Gus wouldve been killed next to mira or something, juliet would still be in miami. Buzz wouldve been fired or killed by that serial killer. So many crimes would’ve been unsolved and so many people would’ve been locked up and innocent. So again, thank god for chief vick.

The indian blood bit gets a pass simply because of the line “they were here first” and gus’ response “im not hating on indians im hating on you” I dont think its terribly offensive but it is a dumb stereotypical joke. It just kind of makes me sigh and shake my head.

Why is gus always trying to get shawn to taste blood?? Does that show up later? Is this a consistent thing? Its just kind of weird considering gus is really squeamish around it? I think its Gus’ way of trying to prank him but he’s like really bad at it haha Also i didn’t like gus’ face there. It made it seem vaguely… nevermind. Its just weird lol

I dont like the B story with juliet and lassie. I think i did at one point because juliet put the fear of god in him and inadvertently that same fear in the others which was fun, but this kids a fucking creep so i don’t think theres any combination of words that would cause this character to suddenly become respectful and it might be the most unrealistic thing to happen on psych, which is truly saying something. Its just one of those scenes you can’t overanalyze so I won’t! Its fun! (But like, thats what im doing here so jk). I did enjoy the “scared straight” subversion moment. Prisons great kids. Its like summer camp. Also his friends name is “white slavery” and idk what to do with that information except point at it with my mouth open in amusement.

I just like how lassie does his “strike two” and im doing that from now on.

Overall its not one of my fave episodes but heres some gifs of some of my fave moments

[drarreckyninja]

"The Cat" - a Criminal Minds fanfic

@bucker3911

Rossi has never been a cat person. They're aloof and unpredictable as far as he's concerned. But when Hotch returns home with an orange tabby stray he's found in the parking lot, Rossi can't say no to that face. He tries to avoid the furball as much as possible, grimacing whenever it leaves dead animals or other surprises around the apartment. But watching Hotch with the cat is something else.

The unit chief has this way of totally relaxing whenever the cat is in his lap, gently petting its fur as it purrs contentedly. Even Rossi has to admit it's a sweet scene. So when Hotch invites him to join on the couch one evening, how could he refuse? Rossi settles next to Hotch, keeping a safe distance from the cat. But as the minutes pass, he finds himself so engrossed in a story Hotch is telling that he doesn't notice when the cat crawls into his lap, too. He tenses at first, but its steady purring is somehow... soothing.

Hotch suddenly realizes he really needs to use the bathroom. But the cat is quite comfortable and he doesn't want to disturb Rossi since he's only now warming up to their pet.

"Dave, I'm sorry, but I really have to pee," Hotch says, grimacing.

Rossi smiles. "Go ahead, Aaron. I think Mr. Whiskers and I are getting acquainted."

Meanwhile, across town in Morgan and Reid's apartment…

Reid has fallen asleep watching a documentary, his long limbs curled up in Morgan's lap. Derek smiles softly down at his boyfriend, running a gentle hand through Spencer's hair as he dozes. It's rare for the genius to fully relax like this. Unfortunately, after a few hours, Morgan starts to squirm. He really needs to use the bathroom, but there's no way he's going to wake Reid from a much-needed rest. Carefully trying to ease out from under him only results in Spencer tugging himself closer with a soft murmur, like a sleepy kitten.

Derek sighs. There's nothing for it - he'll just have to hold it until their roommate Penelope gets home. Thankfully, it isn't much longer before he hears her chatting away as she enters.

"Garcia!" Morgan whisper-shouts. "I really gotta pee, but Pretty Boy won't budge. Think you can get him off me for a sec?"

Penelope stifles a giggle at the predicament. "Aww, you two are too cute. Let Aunt Penny handle it."

With expert care, she gently lifts Reid's head into her lap as a substitute. Morgan nods his thanks and bolts for the bathroom, leaving Garcia to admire how utterly relaxed Spencer is as he sleeps. Just another day in their unconventional little family.

[cant-get-no-worse]

i am always very intrigued by the neymessi relationship. thoughts on them?

Hiya people! I'm currently having a good chuckle because as I read your asks, I see mutuals celebrating the neymessi overtaking cressi on ao3 party. Uncanny. World colllides. Anyways. Imma rant now, you just gave me free real estate!

Disclaimer : this isn't me parasocially psychoanalizing the friendship of two grown ass men I've never seen nor talked to, this is just me covering bases of funny thoughts me n some friends have been entertaining about it. It's senseless ramble and fun and I gotta make profit off of those hours I spend looking at them interact aight.

First of, whatever I could say about it, in the end, everything condenses into this, really: it's a beautiful human bound. Akin to those unlikely friendships brought together by football — kinda makes you think this god wrenched sport isn't so wasted after all. Then you see Harry Kane's face, and you deflate, but that's a whole otha thang (sorry Kane mutuals) (the bloke is coming to PSG anyways).

It's all the more fascinating as we partially saw it develop in real life, and its 'public' aspect is well documented, from the tweets of Neymar all the way back in 2011 fan girling over Messi when they hadn't even met, to the countless footage of games, backstages, documentaries, interviews, little snippets here and there. Let's go over some aspects in an orderly manner.

Similarities between Neymar and other dudes

You can kind of wonder how Leo, introverted as he is, could have ended up entertaining a decade-long friendship (spent apart for four whole years) with such guy as Neymar, a whole five years his junior. And then you look at Leo’s other myriad of friends over the course of the years: Ronaldinho, the whole Brazilian squad of Barcelona who took him under their wing because they liked him, Kun Agüero, Rodrigo De Paul and Leandro Paredes. All extroverted, a bit immature/impulsive, loudmouthed, joyful dudes, and then you realize the guy just has a knack for befriending such people. It just compliments his character. (I’m not adding Luis Suarez to the bunch cause while Luis is impulsive, loudmouthed, extroverted, joyful, he is also a whole other vibe, much more settled/mature, it’s a whole other thing. Could rant about it for hours too. That Messi/Suarez friendship is so genuine, easy, weird, and amazing).

What’s the diff with Suarez

So talking about Suarez, I think the best way to start discerning a relationship is to oppose it to others. The easiest way being here opposing the Messi/Suarez and Neymar/Suarez to the Neymar/Messi. They’re all friends, but the duos don’t work the same way, and it’s obvious. Messi/Suarez are besties, they share the same age, interests, mate, families, whatever. Messi brought him on his honeymoon. Like what the actual fuck. Anyways. Suarez/Neymar reads more like a friend/brothers relationship, were they liked to mess around, fuck around and make fun of each other. You’d think since Suarez and Messi are rigorously the same age, Messi and Neymar’d have a similar relationship. But na. You just can’t look at it and state Messi/Neymar relationship is only brother like. They are brothers, but not only. There’s a shit ton of layers, due to the circumstances of their meeting, their career trajectories, what they represent, for their countries as for football, the roles they had to assume towards each other at FCB in the beginning, but also due to their characters. So what’s the layers?

Childhood/idol

The whole « child gets to play alongside the idol he used to watch on TV » boat has been sailed already by a ton of other players from all leagues, it’s one of the joys of this sport. It’s very sweet, to see how much Neymar used to hop on Twitter to unabashedly fanboy alongside other people over a Messi performance or to even just wish him a very enthused happy birthday (the proofs are there and he hasn’t even deleted them lmfao, the boy was relentless). What I like about it, however, is how little that behavior faltered over the course of the years. Younger players generally tone down the whole idolizing stuff, whether because they’re disillusioned about it (don’t meet your heroes, eh), because they’re just getting used to it, because it’d be awkward, they reserve it when they’re asked about it, in shorter commentaries. Neymar didn’t. Quite the contrary; it’s like playing with Messi only heightened his esteem for the other’s abilities, and to this admiration of the professional side, a personal layer of first-hand appreciation, by becoming a teammate and a friend, was added. Ten years later, placing a bet on Neymar name-dropping Messi on his interviews remains the safest money gambling you’ll do in your life, alongside betting on Pep doing the same (Pep’s odds are admittedly a bit higher, but the man is just batshit insane.) How little Neymar cares about how his admiration is perceived by others or by Leo himself, how unabashedly awed and praiseful he remained of Leo’s skills. Leo himself said he found it a bit embarrassing at times, because Neymar would say it to his face, but at the end of the day, it was just flattering and endearing to receive compliments from a friend and a fellow good player. That side of their relationship could have become, as some put it, embarrassing or awkward, a star-struck teammate who never grew out of it, but because of the sheer sincere nature of both their character (albeit a transparency showing through different ways, Neymar’s being the most flashy) – a trait that seemed to have been key in the establishment of their friendship – they managed to make it simply impossible for it to be embarrassing. They’re completely candid with the other about that, have been since day one, and the result is one of the healthiest child-turned-teammate-of-idol relationship you’ll get to witness. It’s utterly touching, and extremely human.

Brazil/Arg superstars & Countries rivalry

The other obvious aspect is the whole Brazil/Argentina dichotomy. This one is the thing that get a lot of imagination fuming on the internet due to the cinematic parallels/star crossed/movie-like narratives you can appose and romanticize. Barring every other consideration, I just think it’s so fitting it’s almost laughable. The resemblances in career path – two players from arguably the two countries the most insane about football and with the greatest football legacy, star boys turned 10 and figures of their respective selections, compared to an early age to the two ever looming figures of Maradona and Pelé (although Messi probably in a more glaring way, with Maradona himself stating outright the succession thing and Neymar’s comparisons being split between Pelé and Ronaldinho’s profiles). Their friendship threw a bridge over that eternal rivalry, bridge that became all the more obvious the more years passed and the more they became the centralizing figures for their NT and faced each other on the fields. The two teams trash each other on the ground, but respect prevail between players – not just Neymar and Leo, btw, that goes for seemingly every player, given that a lot of them crosses paths with each other at club level. In any case, I believe that mutual respect condenses itself in the 10’s relationship. The video of Leo refusing to engage in a song mocking Brazil (2023 Arg-Panama WC celebration) (keeping in mind trash-singing culture is widespread in Latin America, much more so than Europe; singing such songs isn’t necessarily personal, it’s just… tradition, and especially when you’re Brazil and Argentina and you just beat the other) and in another instance (after the 2021 Copa America) actively discouraging teammates to drop the subject tells you everything you need to know about the amount of care/respect the both of them hold each other to.

Mentor

There’s the whole mentoring role to it, too. When Neymar arrived in 2013 in the team, Leo had established himself already. Puyol, Xavi, Iniesta, all remained the older mentors of the team, but in term of talent and path, it kind of became obvious that Neymar could become Leo’s protegee the same way Leo was Dinho’s. The first steps were hesitants, as we all know, what with Neymar needing time to fit in a whole new league and continent, the infamous locker room chat, but after a year or so the ball got rolling (ha-ha). Imo, eventually (perhaps not in the first years, but from 2015/2016, at least after the 2014 WC) Leo seemed to have fully settled/grew into this kind of mentor-mentality and wanted to help Neymar get his BO and stuff. That’s partly why the 2017 departure could have left a bitterness aftertaste or at least a feeling of failure to have completely achieved what Dinho did on his part. See how eager he was to help Ousmane when Dembélé arrived.

Complementary play and MSN balance

On the football side, I mean. Not much to say. They’re probably the two guys with the biggest reserve of pure, raw talent of the 21st century (I mean from 2000 til 2023, as far as we know). It’s ridiculous how those two guys ended up playing together. At 20 years old, people were asking if Messi was one of the greatest players of all time, and at 21 years old, Ronaldinho said that Neymar would surpass Messi. Talent doesn’t necessarily equal chemistry on field, tho (cough side glance at you know where cough), yet they made it work, thanks to Luis who provided the final balance for it all. Funnily enough, people always praise MSN as being completely devoid of ego, as if they’re some kind of saints individually, but that’s not true. They have some ego, they’re just good dudes. Ego isn’t a bad personality trait. Most top athletes have it, it pushes you. Those guys just knew where to place it, how to handle it, and they were just too good of persons individually, and too good friends mutually. They were selfless with each other, and it was so damn refreshing to see, and it's something that perpetuates still at PSG.

Physical proximity/chemistry

Do you hear that? That’s the horde of Ao3 writers barreling towards, foam at their mouth and keyboards at their fingers, wide eyed. Quick, shut the door. Oh wait, I’m one of them. YOU’RE TRAPPED. HAHA.

Na, about that, it’s just of those things that happen. Their chemistry and instinct to touch is obvious, if the hundredths of pictures and compils with Ariana Grande screaming Save Your Tears in the background wasn’t enough to pass the hint. But honestly, there’s nothing more to see here. Some players get more physical than others, just because. Some people get more physical than others, just because. That’s chemistry. Football, like all sports, take you from the lowest point just to lift you up with an adrenaline rush the very next minute. Unlike other sports, however, it’s a team sport, so you play, you work through it, you win, you celebrate not alone, but with other people. Much more so when you’re working as a unit, like Neymar and Messi were with Suarez as the forwards, tuning to each other’s mind/bodies to get the chemistry running and the goals flowing.

Seeing them together uncannily reminded me of one of my own relationship with someone in my entourage. We disliked each other, and then kind of overnight, unexpectedly, became friends, and started touching each other. There wasn’t anything sexual about it, it was innocent in all forms, but there was just this instinctive, mindless move of putting arms around each other’s shoulders, holding hands, or whatever. There was genuinely nothing to see here, it’s just the way our friendship/relationship worked. It’s an intrinsic part of it, a constant. Touching holds more than a thousand words. You can imagine how such a medium of communication is exalted through sports, where physicality is everywhere and the first language everyone speaks.

Whether in 2015 or 2022, take any video, they’re always going to be jumping to each other. There’s some degrees of variation; sometimes, most times, it’s to celebrate, it’s euphoric and lively and flying about, others it’s a touch on the shoulder, the hair, the waist. Whether as a teammate checking on the other because of an injury (generally it was due to Neymar being bodied by opposition players), diffusing a situation (Neymar getting worked up over another player), as friends gossiping, as opposite players (Leo asking for a yellow on Ney and then both touching to level the situation), a hug or touch on the thigh (2015 UCL celebration), a gentle touch on a knee during training for no other reason than it’s a natural instinct and it’s an relationship in which it’s normal, whatever. Sometimes they hug to celebrate, sometimes it’s loaded (see 2021 CA final). I can’t explain it, just browse about and you’ll see plenty. It’s also the eyes — Neymar can be caught looking unabashedly at Leo with the same adoration as a kid. His platonic passion is just one of a kind. Leo will be found staring amused, tender or just lost in thought. It’s endearing. The eyes, chico. Once again; it just works.

There’s not much to see or read here, it’s just because it is. Marco Verratti doesn’t have a relationship as personal with them as they do and yet the fucker will always find a way to touch them thighs or shoulders – because some people are just physical like that. Also because he’s an Italian hooker. But that’s a whole other story. Ramos and Modric have insane chemistry in the same way. A handful of teammates pairs have that kind of thing going.

They also don’t convey it like the other people they’re physically close to. You just watch Messi and Suarez interact and touch (and they do! A lot!) and it’s not the same as when Neymar and Messi do. Messi and Agüero, Messi and Piqué (cough), Messi and Pedri, Neymar and Mbappé, Neymar and Dani Alves, Neymar and the whole fucking world cause he’s that touchy mf. Each one of these ways of touching tell the depths and subtleties of the relationship lying behind, you could ramble hours about two people like I’m doing but at the end of the day you just look at how the both of them touch and look, and you get it. (i direct you to cara's blog!)

It works for them, as it works for lots of human beings. We touch to convey stuff. They lived through tough and euphoric times with their club, had the weight of the two arguably most prestigious football selections on their shoulders, went through boring training sessions, flights, team drama, tax evasion stuff (cue laughter), they’ve been evolving in the same world of money, public and fast-paced life for years. Add to that the personal relationship - friends, teammates, mentors, opposites, etc. They’re on a common understanding ground. They touch. That’s the wordless language.

Extrovert/introvert

The extrovert introvert thing, blabla. It’s just endlessly entertaining to see them interact because it seems like a stark contrast on paper, but in reality, they kinda even each other out. Neymar is his usual outgoing, ray of sunshine (Galtier’s words, not mine), fidgeting, energy-filled dude, and Leo’s calm, dealing with his shit on his own terms, perfectly okay with not talking, but also perfectly okay with gossiping and joking about. That’s one of the most underrated aspects to their friendship, imo. It just seems, from 2013 to now, that they just have tremendous fun being around each other. It’s not the same kind of energetic, very showy-pranksty-physically fun you can see Neymar have with other Brazilians or Suarez or Mbappé etc, because of Leo’s character, it happens in a different way (the energies match differently). Whether at Barca, on an international pitch or at PSG, each time they are seen being around each other, you just know there’s gonna be a picture of them cracking up over dumb shit. Every time. Clockwork. It’s kinda amazing lmfao.

The 2017 – 2021 era

Now you’d think they’d be close during their days at FCB because of circumstances; you have a coworker, you surprisingly get along fine, you become friends, then one of you leave works, and slowly but surely the relationship or wish to reunite get fainter and fainter. It’s just something we experience a lot, and it’s also something you see in football a lot due to transfers (cue that tumblr post about a player transfering is like selling your child). Players become friends, friendships get severed because of space and time and the impossible schedule. The thing with Ney and Leo is that all throughout 2017 – 2021, they not only seemed to have maintained a friendship, but above all a fierce wish to play with each other again. Multiple accounts from that period of time say Leo reportedly asked for Neymar to be brought back by the board each time they asked which improvements/suggestions the players (and esp Leo, given his influence at FCB) would give. Neymar stated multiple times and publicly (in a typical Neymar fashion) that he wanted to play with Leo again. It’s like they’d found the perfect partnership, on and off the pitch, and they were both wanting it again.

The Barça to PSG transition

Now the PSG era!! It's quite fascinating, for you could consider the dynamics to have been inversed: Leo was the one arriving, Neymar was the experienced one on these grounds. There’s no football mentorship going on, for Neymar didn't have to teach Leo how to play, Leo having enough experience to just about integrate himself anywhere, but there is the mentorship in adapting, if you will – to a new league, new country, new teammates. Similarities in situation plastered everywhere, eight years later. You can kind of see why it can be easy to go mad at how this entire relationship do seem like a written story filled with parallels cause the author is so keen on it.

In the first year, Leo was seen hanging with the Latam - Neymar, Paredes, Di Maria, Icardi etc - (and Marco Verratti, cause the short fucker is just likeable like that) to the point where there really seemed to be "clans" within the locker rooms. I don't think it's necessarily true, rather it was just a bunch of close friends (two of which he'd just won the Copa América with) and shameless admirers of him who were all too eager to help him adapt, esp given Leo's character - he just isn't one to take the first step towards others, normally, even less so in a foreign country/club where locker rooms dynamics are already up and going. I don't remember which PSG ex player said he was quiet in his corner and didn't make no waves. Then after Di Maria and Paredes' departure, it seems Neymar really took on that role.

See the videos of training or games from 2021 – 2023, a rough 80% of the time they remain glued to each other, with others tagging along (Verratti esp). They do the exercises together, they warm up alongside, they go in and out of the pitch talking, they wait talking (see : the Riyadh XI game). The difference with FCB times are quite stark: in Barça they would have other friends to be around to here and there - Suarez, Busquets, Alba, Piqué, Alves - while it seems at PSG they're revolving around each other. Not that Neymar doesn't have friends; he's befriended the whole locker room, but he did once slip in whatever interview that Paris had never managed to be really home. It's nothing dramatic, but an interesting insight. Leo on the other hand is perhaps not very interested in entertaining personal relationships with the other players outside of professionalism – once again Verratti seems to be an exception, they stick a lot together esp since Neymar’s injury —, so it’s just natural. So it was about falling back/gravitating around the most familiar thing you could find, made all the more obvious after the Di Maria/Paredes departure. They know each other, it’s a relationship of transparency and trust (as aforementioned) and fun, and they'd always wanted to play with each other again. At that point, it's not a new friendship where they just know each other for two years on surface, are unsure about each other, or prompt to unstability or smth. They've been friends for a decade. They've been through very emotional moments in club and in nation (2021 CA Final), it's not just being coworkers. Old habits die hard, etc. Imo the core of the relationship didn't change, but the setting and circumstances did add closeness to them - Leo is just fine/most comfortable being with Neymar and Verratti mostly, and the two are too happy to oblige because they love him. Makes for a wonderful midget trio, of which we unfortunately didn't get enough.

Conclusion

I like it. As you could probably guess from the Bible-length commentary I just pumped out. It’s just refreshing to see a relationship as genuine as these two, seemingly coming out of the blue, that somehow continued through time and space separation. The absurd resilience of such bound makes it seems so effortless for them to be friends, due to the fundamentally good/true nature of their respective characters, and I treasure it dearly, even more so after having followed/seen other friendships from different players be broken up over shit. It’s a caring, genuine, trusting, tender, fun, complicit relationship, and one I think will go on beyond the end of their football careers – in other forms.

[wyncandel]

so i watched that new documentary about whether the princes in the tower survived. half my family are ricardians and the other half just know him through shakespeare, so that was fun (gotta love people who are biased before we even hear the facts).

wondering if it was just me or whether the evidence was a bit weak? i mean, certainly the documents could have been written at the time - it's incredibly likely they were written at the time and place richard of york was supposed to be. but that doesn't mean he wrote it lol.

and considering that margeret and maximilan both disliked henry vii, i wouldn't trust anything they'd say as fact. henry was an expert propagandist, but he wasn't the only one.

it seems incredibly likely that richard iii killed the princes in the tower. the hue and cry over it is an incredibly modern reaction; to say that people in the 1400s were heartless would be wrong, but killing your political rivals was not unusual. henry i probably had his nephew william clito killed, and certainly went to war with him - richard iii is by no means a bad king or an evil man. he's just a complicated one - he's only a human just like people now. not the devil incarnate, not a god. come on guys.

(also he had no reason to hide their whereabouts; if they died of disease, he would have no reason to hide this. the fact that their bodies vanished and were only discovered two hundred or so years later hints at foul play; while other kings made no secrets of killing their rivals, often displaying their bodies after death - think of what happened to richard ii and henry vi - the murder of your own nephews would seem much more personal to the people of england)

idk, opinions guys?

[curio-queries]

Jimin's Production Diary: a rambling review

A few notes before we get into this:

I have not seen either Hobi's or Suga's documentaries, yet.

My friends and family hate watching shows and movies with me as I'm very critical. I honestly gave up watching most fictional storytelling content about five years ago because it frustrates me how much I'm frustrated with it. (Unless I'm on a plane, it's the only time that tend to watch any movies/shows. In Sept, I watched The Pez Outlaw - fascinating traditional-style documentary!)

Despite what I'm about to detail, I did enjoy watching all of the content surrounding Jimin's Production Diary and am very happy we got what we did.

THE INTRO: Set the Stage.... or Don't...?

The first two minutes of the Jimin's Production Diary (hereafter referred to as JPD) are clips of the very film that we're about to see, mixed with some that we don't see at all...so basically a Trailer. Now I know I'm in the minority when it comes to opinions on if Previews and Trailers just spoil things but two minutes?? At the beginning of the film we've paid to see? That seem excessive! I'm sure this is a trend on streaming platforms to convince audiences to not click away but I gotta say, I hate it. Jimin himself was confused by it during his live watchthrough.

We switch to an extremely brief meeting between Jimin and the team (hereafter referred to as SGMB), clearly gathering together to talk about the past events. They lead in by bringing up the timeline...And that's all we really get as far as what lead to the start of the documentary. I mean, credit to the editors, it was a perfect line about how Jimin would mess around on the keyboard, cut to the scene where he comes up with a melody they try for the Face-Off intro. It establishes the flow of how the rest if the film will progress - we'll be going through the clips of Jimin's contributions to the album, broken up by song but unless I'm mistaken, we don't see any more footage from this meeting for the rest of the film. I believe we hear a few more lines of it as voiceover but it's not clear. I don't know, it just sets me on a weird tone with this film. We establish the typical interview footage scene with the entire SGMB, so it gives us the impression that what is about to unfold will cover a wider perspective than just Jimin's but we never see any more of it. We go straight to the timeline and old footage.

As we are accustomed to with our beloved JM, he doesn't like telling us the reason why he does most things. There could be many reasons for this, the one that I like the most is that it doesn't predispose the audience to any specific conclusion beyond what meaning we get from the content itself. In my opinion, this is great for art...less so when you're trying to recount history (...but that's a whole debate into politics that we won't go into today!). Either way, the audience of JPD either needs to already know the circumstances, output, and conclusions of the event surrounding this album or they just need to be fine with missing context. (If you're interested in some tiny tidbits regarding the initial direction and overall vision of FACE, be sure to watch the last few minutes of the JPD commentary.) Which brings me to:

CRITICAL POINT # 1 : HYBE does not produce content to inform, they produce content to entertain.

Audiences should set their expectations as such and remember that even though we may feel like we're 'getting the scoop', we are only being given just enough to entertain us. (Sidenote: this is one of the keypoints I evaluate in my Run BTS watchthroughs BECAUSE I got frustrated very early on with how poor of a job their content does when it needs to be informative).

Some points that could have been covered in JPD to give better context:

Jimin deciding to make an album at all.

Jimin deciding to use the specific timeline and subjects in his album. We know it covers what he went through during the pandemic according to interviews he gave during promotions. Clips of those interviews would have been easy footage to insert.

Were these decisions made before he started talking to the team?

The little bit of behind the the scenes for the BE album showed BTS having a themes and keyword discussion extremely early in the project where they were outlining some rough ideas for the album regarding song quantity, general feeling and potential units. Did a similar process occur with FACE?

At what point where the other guys in the team brought in? Jimin only mentions PDOGG at the beginning.

How far did they progress before they decided to start filming for the documentary? From what we can see, most of the footage was self-captured and they even joked about the team being camera-minders during the Quiz Show so it was definitely by design that we got as much footage as we did; that doesn't just happen by accident.

(More on helpful context later)

What's the problem with this? Not much actually, provided the viewer isn't under the impression that they are being educated. We've come a long way from the general public only associating documentaries with National Geographic films about lions stalking prey but there is still the perception of factual evidence being revealed when watching one. And while I wouldn't classify anything in JPD as a lie, there's absolutely a bias at play here more than just selecting a favorite band member. I actually love that the title is Diary rather than Documentary, it's far more accurate. This film is a log of Jimin's highlights during this portion of the album process. The problem comes when people conclude that because that's all we see, that's all that happened. We see very little of the work that the rest of the SGMB did unless it's hyping up one of Jimin's contributions. In fact, we're never really introduced the the team and what their contributions and responsibilities are.

During the Live watchthrough,  Jimin referred to himself several times as the 'Idea Bank'. And yes, we absolutely have seen that in him over the years. I love that about him! He is very willing to contribute ideas (which honestly is a skill in its own and shouldn't be downplayed) but the other important parts of any creative process are implementation and editing (something I obviously didn't do here, this post is looong). Once an idea occurs, there may need to be some discussion on how to implement it and also edit out the items that don't serve the whole purpose. The rest of the SGMB demonstrated over and over the ability to take in Jimin's ideas, translate them into a workable format and edit it down. Jimin said it himself during the commentary, 'your discernment is amazing'.

Which brings me to one of the main wars I've seen waged in the JPD discussions: Namjoon's involvement. We see one tiny portion of a conversation with no context before or after. Jimin gave us a little more context during his watchthrough. This specific conversation happened after the team thought they were ready to finalize the lyrics but Namjoon sent them back to the drawing board. (I have vivid memories of English teachers giving me similar advice - usually in poetry units. 'Yes, you rhymed but it doesn't actually mean anything').  There is absolutely more to RMs contribution to be listed in the credits than this one conversation. What we saw here was him giving the team instruction to focus more on the overall direction and intent first to give better support to the labor of lyrics. The irony here is I see the same issue with the structure of JPD.

CRITICAL POINT # 2 : Jimin's Production Diary has little to no direction.

Not every documentary film will flow like a three act play with a classic 'hero's journey' type of storyline but it's very clear that this film was put together by an editing team aftrr the fact and not a director. There was no real narrative structure, journey, or storyline. It was just a portion of the process a very engaging individual went through with a handful of guys to create the music for an album. Something that could have helped would have been having an outsider interview the team, someone with training in putting together a narrative for film to help lead the stories and memories to a conclusion.

Again I go back to questioning the intent and goals discussed when it was decided to capture footage. This must have been a beast for the team to edit, not just due to quantity of footage like Jimin joked about during his Live watchthrough but with sheer lack of direction.

The main emotional journey I experienced as a viewer was when we'd start to hear the melodies and lyrics that would make it into the final version. But that requires the audience to come into this film not only knowing the output but being familiar with it to recognize it amongst other sounds being presented. That's a big ask for any subject matter, let alone in a process we don't regularly see or experience.

WANT TO HAVE A DRINK: The lost song. I don't expect to pick up everything in any film on first watchthrough,  especially if it's not in my native language. But it was only after Jimin's Live watchthrough did I realize there was a whole section for this scrapped song. This would have been a great point to highlight jn the developmental arc but it's basically disregarded.

One final tangent before I wrap this up:

SIDE POINT: Original development lyrics are not some hidden treasure trove of true meaning.

It's interesting to see where the thought processes wandered through until the conclusion that is the released version but those lyrics should not be used as weapons against others to determine the one-true-meaning. The artist changed them for a reason. And different versions will absolutely carry different weight amongst individuals but please remember that the development process is lengthy and artists are usually just trying whatever they can think of to get to the point they'd like their work to be, with many steps along the way.

CONCLUSION (I thought this post would last forever)

JPD contains very insightful footage of Jimin's journey in stepping into parts of the music development process that he may not have been so involved in prior. I'm very intrigued to see if it's something he's interested in further developing, both as part of BTS and in any future solo efforts. Like I said at the beginning, I'm very grateful to have seen it but I am not encouraged by any future 'documentaries' the company will be releasing.

Finally! it's done. I feel in a much better place to wrap up the analysis post I started in April comparing Like Crazy to the movie but it's been so long, I need to watch it again. We'll see how long that takes me!

If anyone actually read any portion of this, let alone the whole thing, you are amazing and deserve all the blessings of blonde-Jimin in your life! 💜

[futureseaempress]

It’s Beas nice ask day!

So my question for you: What is your craziest “truth is stranger than fiction” moment you have experienced in real life

oh me oh my i have like a billion moments like these...

i gotta say its tied between (okay going under the cut cause im a clown who must dance)

So on a dark and stormy night, my stoner roommate and I were trying to trace back why our dryer just wasn't getting clothes dry quickly. Only problem: our electrical is under our house in a crawl space and our house is situated on an UNEVEN hill. So you have to be mighty tiny to crawl into the right places.

Good news: I am small.

Bad news: I am horribly claustrophobic and cannot enter this spot without my brain SCREAMING that the house will collapse on me.

So we go under the house anyway calling up to our other roomies (beauties who are watching reality tv on the couch and laughing at us) to help us echo locate where we oughta be.

Bubba bumps his back on SOMETHING but we don't pay it any mind, he's okay and we can't get where we need to anyway. I give up and go shower to get the red clay and cobwebs off and he goes to idk smoke weed. BUT oh no

the water

it's no longer running

...

oh shit

what did we accidentally do???

i hop back into my clothes and my beat up nikes to go explore. We're turning knobs and levers we've never even seen before while our roomie calls to us updates from topside.

we're pacing the property

at a complete loss

then

just as we're about to go to a hotel for the night and call someone to get us water for the next day

i hit my head on SOMETHING under the house

i hear a loud WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

and my beautiful roommate shouting "WATER'S BACK"

same beautiful roommate

about two years prior

im heeming and hawing about how my only family in our city is a gay hair stylist who primarily works in the african american women's beauty industry... i've only met him twice, but he was really kind to me and im hoping that as the only gays we might bond. but it's also weird bc he robbed my grandma and pawned all my moms gold jewelry from the half a year they lived in Saudi Arabia. and also the only thing we have in common is growing up in a very small town in a different state and now living in a big city.

and im describing my neil patrick harris look alike of an uncle

and my roommate this look on her face

and she asks "have you ever seen chris rock's documentary Good Hair?" and i say "no of course i have not."

and she says "well i know you love Ice T i thought maybe" and i say "while i love him my knowledge is VERY lacking" and she takes a knee and swears to me that "as a black woman [she] must educate [me, her] white compatriot"

and the whole lead up in this documentary is all the contestants for this hair competition saying their biggest fear

and

every

single

one

man, woman, new to the game, old hat

are afraid of one man

.... Jason.

AND WHO IS JASON?? IF NOT MY GAY AS THE DAY IS LONG WHITE TWINK UNCLE. WHO WHEN I FIRST MET MY GRANDMOTHER FAILED TO MENTION HAD ANY RELATION TO US AND UPON THE SECOND MEETING (at said grandmothers funeral) MY MOM ASKED HO WI COULD POSSIBLY KNOW HIM. HE ONCE STOLE THE FAMILY GOLD FROM SAUDI ARABIA AND COULD HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF THIS ENTIRE EXPERIENCE AS HE WAS IN AN AIRPORT HEADING TO NEW YORK BUT HIS FLIGHT GOT DELAYED ON 9-11 AND HE USED TO HAVE A WIFE AND HAS A SON BY HER AND HE'S THE MOST INTERESTING MAN I HAVE EVER MET.

anyway these are my stories

DUN DUN

[coff-in]

If Your OCS went on a playdate with my oc, Sally would be a pain in the ass (shes 6), Lilith would be chill and try to be the voice of reason, Oliver would be passed on the couch with a coffee cup in hand, Sunny/Narrator would be keeping Ellie from burning the kitchen down (the voices are telling her to commit arson and several other crimes), Ellie would be just baking peacefully.

Sally would probably bother everyone but who can blame her, everyone is so interesting especially Amy, Ellie would be shaking like a leaf on a tree as she tries to focus on baking but everything is so energetic that it's is overwhelming, Oliver would be 2 coffee cups in before the 30 minutes of sleep hit him like a bus and he passes out, Lilith would be the voice of reason and keeps everything in order.

Andrew would probably be on babysitting duty since Lilith is only one person and can only handle so much, Andrew would be dressed up as a princess because of Sally. Ellie other than baking would be listening to the nonsense that comes out of Ashley's mouth, Ashley knows it's easy to overwhelm Ellie with utter nonsense...

It would be a lovely family disaster.

-Ellie anon

guh, it sounds so hectic in there! if this is the case where all my sibling ocs exist simultaneously (usually they are in separate universes), then that means that mrs and mr graves have had... one, two, six, seven... about ten kids! (big family) i can see mrs graves having a fucking hernia or something, having all these kids to raise and take care of

trying to cover everyone (my sibling ocs and @ellie1irl's sibling ocs) chronologically:

lilith and alexis are the oldest siblings (both being 24 years old now). alexis is actually the normalest sibling oc i have (like, the actual only sane man in the graves family) and would enjoy lilith peaceful demeanor. he may even help out with her garden and tries to tell her jokes to lift her spirits...

when andrew was born (22 years old now), i'm positive that he saw lilith and alexis as his better mom and dad. he'd go to them for help with most issues because he'd be the baby of the family then. he'd probably have a more happy demeanor than in canon since he has fairly normal sibling looking after him. still a poetic and a romanticist but more... optimistic, maybe?

oliver and amber were then born! (both 21 years old now) it's kinda funny how opposite these two can be when interacting with those outside the graves family. oliver is rude and mean and crass while amber is pretty chill and easygoing. they may have to ask oliver to tone it down a bit if he's lashing out with his tongue particularly sharp that day. would read and watch crime documentaries on the couch together, maybe even played detective when they were younger, too. andrew would be shocked that he has two new little siblings to look after but would like them nonetheless. oliver stresses andrew out with his antisocial behavior and andrew gets worried about amber being bullied and talking to themself.

ashley came (20 years old now) and spun the whole family on their heads. is oliver was antisocial then ashley was something else! i can see her either being not as possessive an canon (she has 5 older sibling and 4 younger ones to give her attention and love) or just extremely possessive over her favorite siblings (with a house this big you gotta have favorites). she's such a handful for lilith and alexis to handle. she'd probably give her siblings nicknames and then it trickled down as a habit to her younger siblings...

... which so happens to be ellie and amy (both 19 years old now!) amy would be kinda jealous of ellie's lively personality, since having so many siblings gives her major anxiety (how is she going to live up to all the expectations they have all inadvertently set up for her?) she'd like drawing and writing with ellie and leyley and enjoy eating ellie's baking (she partial to her strawberry flavored confections). mostly hangs out with amber and lilith and sees andrew as a role model. amy would get a job to help lilith, alexis, and andrew pay for everyone's lifestyle. would also partake in lilith's hobby/interest in gardening

aria was born (18 years old now) and it was like ashley all over again. in fact, she mostly attached to ashley; always calling her "leyley" and sleeping right next to or on top of her in bed. with so many siblings, it would be easy for her to take interest in human psychology and theater. she'd beg ashley to see her recitals and performances but would actually be touched when oliver or alexis come to watch

the last addition to the graves family would be dear little sally (6 years old now). i think everyone was surprised when renee graves decided to pop out another child at the last moment (she had two 18 year olds, one 16 year old, two 15 year olds, one 14 year old, two 13 year olds, and a 12 year old!!!) everyone plays their part in making sure she feels safe and loved :D aria was very peeved that she wouldn't be the youngest anymore but eventually got over it

this doesn't even take into account nina's death, andrew dating julia (and any other significant partners the others may get), the more direct treatment/neglect from mrs and mr graves, sunny/the narrator of ellie, or the quarantine! talk about a crowded coffin, huh?

i can't wait to see more of ellie's ocs, i actually find myself enjoying doing crossovers/collabs with other's graves sibling ocs. ah so awesome! :3

----

coff-in

[louisupdates]

AZCENTRAL

KiMi Robinson | 22 Mar 2023

More than seven years after One Direction’s hiatus, Louis Tomlinson has found his confidence, sense of self and his solo sound.

That’s what fans learn in his new documentary, “All of Those Voices,” which screens in theaters worldwide starting Wednesday, March 22. The hour and 47-minute-long film follows Tomlinson from 1D’s final “X-Factor” performance in December 2015 through the present day and delves into his childhood, relationship with his family — including the deaths of his mom and younger sister — and self-discovery after the band.

Here’s everything fans will learn about Tomlinson in his new movie, including how he felt while in One Direction, how he struggled with the band’s break and what touring is like now.

‘I don't see where I sit within this band,’ Louis Tomlinson says of 1D's early days

After One Direction was formed on “The X-Factor” in 2010, Tomlinson apparently struggled to find his place in the boy band.

It started when he first heard their debut single, “What Makes You Beautiful,” and realizing “I wasn’t on it,” he says in "All of Those Voices." Though he remembers “singing a couple of different verses on the first single,” the track leans heavily on fellow bandmates Liam Payne and Harry Styles.

He pushed to make sure that he’d be in their second single, “Gotta Be You.” He worked with a producer and was “naïve enough” to think it would ensure his inclusion in the song.

“All I want is to sing a bit of this next song. And we’ll just stay here until I get it right,” Tomlinson recounted about recording his vocals for the song.

Again, the verse he’d painstakingly recorded didn’t make the final cut.

“There was an element of me feeling it doesn’t matter what I do. I’m not really in control here,” Tomlinson said. “And I don’t see where I sit within this band. … I was like, ‘Well if I’m not going to (expletive) sing, then what else am I going to do for this band?’”

How Louis Tomlinson found his place in One Direction

It took a few years for Tomlinson to find his footing in the five-member band.

“The first two and a half years, I just felt like I wasn’t in control of myself and certainly not necessarily had an influence in the band,” he said.

Eventually, he “felt ownership in what we were doing” and “in control again.” Starting with their third studio album, “Midnight Memories,” he was credited as a co-writer for the majority of 1D’s songs. Looking back, Tomlinson is proud of having the most writing credits in the band, he says.

“By the end of it, I knew exactly who I was in the band. Because I was like, ‘I finally understand what my role is and who I am in this band,” he said. “I wanted to stay in the band, but that was not an option anymore.”

Louis Tomlinson: ‘I was not prepared’ for 1D’s break

In “All of Those Voices,” Tomlinson makes it clear that he was not the one to call off One Direction.

“I think the feeling that I remember the most was a little bit of anger because I didn’t want to go on a break. It upset me; it shocked me. I wasn’t prepared for it. I thought, for me, it was the band or nothing,” he said.

“It’s not as if in the five years I was in the band I’d ever dreamt about being a solo artist. Not once, not once, because I was so obsessed with us moving as a unit and being part of this team. I’ve spent all these years doing this; I don’t really see myself doing anything else.”

Whether he was ready for it or not, 1D’s last performance came when they took to “The X-Factor’s” stage a month after their fifth album, “Made in the A.M.,” released.

“Even right up until we went on the break, there was still really no closure on that idea,” Tomlinson said. “It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not prepared for it. Not at all.”

Why Louis struggled with his post-One Direction career

Tomlinson said he took a bit of time after the hiatus began to figure out what to do next. After taking some meetings and speaking with his mom, he decided to continue to pursue a career as a musician.

The transition was anything but easy, and comparing himself to his former bandmates didn’t help.

“It was very easy for me to imagine Harry having a solo career, Liam having a solo career. It was harder for me to imagine, like, myself doing that,” Tomlinson said.

“Where I left One Direction was I’d come off stage feeling like a god,” he said. “Now, I’m doing my own performances, and it feels like the opposite.”

It was difficult enough acclimating to being a headlining artist rather than a member of a band. On top of that, Tomlinson experienced some setbacks as his solo career was getting off the ground, including when his mother and sister died in 2016 and 2019, respectively.

“I felt like, from that moment, for years I couldn’t win. Life was just against me, and it didn’t want me to succeed,” he said. “I kept having all of these difficult things to deal with.”

Louis finds his confidence as a solo artist

As the oldest of seven children by almost seven years, Tomlinson was very close to his mom — a relationship that several family members speak to in “All of Those Voices.”

Knowing that she wouldn’t want her death to set back his career, Tomlinson endeavored to find his sound with the support of his online fan base.

Writing “Kill My Mind” and “Walls” for his first studio album seemed like a turning point. But his stage presence and confidence in performing live were a sticking point.

In one scene, his vocal coach, Helene Hørlyck, accuses him of rushing through songs in order to get off the stage quickly. Though Tomlinson is doubtful heading into his first solo tour in March 2020, he ultimately is buoyed by the fan support he experiences while performing.

When it seems like he’s going to start hitting his stride, pandemic lockdowns begin to threaten the tour; he and his team realize, seemingly backstage at a venue, that they would have to rebook spaces for one year out.

“(I’ve been) waiting for that break,” Tomlinson says. “I’ll be waiting a little bit longer, I think.”

‘I finally feel worthy of where I am’

After a two-year wait, Tomlinson finally resumed his tour with avid crowds greeting him in venues around the world.

“It’s my first solo tour, you know what I mean? I did not think I’d be in these kinds of experiences so soon into my touring career,” he says. “I’m really enjoying this momentum at the moment. I can feel myself getting better as a performer, better as a singer.”

“All of Those Voices” also shows how Tomlinson continues to live up to his partying persona while balancing his family life. Between getting rowdy in the back of the tour bus and causing havoc on stage with his bandmates, Tomlinson seems to spend time with his son, Freddie, who lives in LA.

“If I told myself five years ago that I was going to play 80 shows or 80-plus shows globally, bigger venues than I ever imagined, I swear I wouldn’t believe you,” he says. “In the last 12 months, I finally feel worthy of where I am, what I’m doing and the success I’m having throughout this.”

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Back

Today is unusually warm for early spring, so even though it's still Still Dirt (really wish they'd lay some grass seed already), I'm back at the cemetery today. It's windy AF. But that's actually kind of nice. All the wind chimes people hung in the trees are sounding. The Boy hates wind chimes but I've always liked them and I like that there are so many so close to you and that today's windy. It's like all the bells are ringing for you. The bells I left are still here. So is the stone I placed on your headstone last time, which is nice. I brought another stone this time. It's from when my family took the RV to the Painted Desert 2 summers ago. I'll bring a stone every time I come. A cool looking one. Maybe one from the places I go. Or just from the driveway at home. Something that isn't going to get thrown out or blown away. Something that won't die. I'm not gonna bring flowers anymore. Because the friendship won't ever die even though you did. It's a rock. ❤️💔😢

Anyway, I kinda hate that you're here right next to your mom. I mean I get it. But also...like I think your dad has been by here since the last time I was here, and there's nothing on your grave but the stuff I left. And the petal-less flower stems that are propped up in the hole in the top of your mom's headstone (can't believe there's no memorial vase on either of yours, but there's a HOLE where there's meant to be one) really seem to me like the ones I left here for you last time. Since the petals are gone, I'll never know. And maybe it wasn't your dad. Maybe it was some cemetery worker that assumed the flowers were supposed to be on a woman's grave. And that's the closest one to you. But there aren't any new barren stems on your grave, man. And there should be, goddammit. It pisses me off that it seems like I'm the only one coming here for you. I'll always come back. I promise.

Kentucky lost and all the villains are winning in tournament ball this year so we quit watching last weekend and we turned on a documentary on Dick Vitale instead. Damn thing made me cry. The end is how he swore to honor Jim Valvano every day since he died, because that was his best friend, and he's done that for 30 years. I will too. I'll do better than Dickie V even. But I'm not ever gonna scream, "You need a T.O. baby!!!"

At least the Reds looked good on Opening Day.

A motorcycle just rode by. Makes me want to get on the bike with J but we don't have time today and the weather is taking a turn tomorrow. But it does remind me that I'm going to buy you a guardian bell. I bought J one for his bikes. That's what they're really for, but it's a nice all weather bell. Once I can find one that doesn't have religious or weird redneck shit on it, I'll bring it with a new stone to leave for you.

Alright well I gotta go now. We have to pick the Boy up from a friend's so he can go practice driving more tonight before dinner. And the gates close here stupid early. But I'll be back again. And yeah I'm still crying but at least there wasn't any snot this time. I miss you. Love you, dude. I'll come back after spring break. ❤️

[adora-bd]

Episode 1: Attention

The girls begin to come together as a group and try to bond ahead of debut.

You gotta earn the people's attention. You gotta give them something to look at and give all of their attention to. If you don't, they'll look over you and give their attention to someone else.

-MonJin, CEO of Bad Dream Entertainment

[ Bad Dreams Entertainment vocal room]

A girl is sitting on the wooden vocal room floor, reading over her lines over and over again. She is trying to find her pitch as she sings, biting her bottom lip as she messed up. "I'm a bit worried about my pitch on this part. I hope I can hit this note well for the group."

Chohee straightened up in her chair, fixing her hair as she tried to calm her nerves. When she was first told about the company hosting the Netflix Documentary on them, she was excited. Now that she was in front of the camera, she was full of nerves. She took a deep breath before introducing herself, hoping she didn't come across as too nervous.

" I was raised in Jeju with my father and older brother Heochan. My father owns a small restaurant that I used to help out at every day; I used to buss the tables and be a server." When asked if she thought it was stressful, she nodded. "It was so stressful as I did it every day. Then on weekends, I used to work at the little farmer's markets my area hosted and sell fish. I used to always hate weekends because I came home smelling like fish."

Chohee's father's restaurant was small and right next to the river with blue picnic tables outside, near the start of the alleyway that was used for the market. Above the restaurant was a small apartment where the family lived. Chohee smiled softly at the memory of her old room and her small cat named "Bonnie." "Bonnie used to be waiting for me when I came home from school. She would wag her small tail and kiss my face while I worked on homework or studied. I would just relax with her before going to work downstairs. It was the most relaxing part of my day."

When asked about her time being a trainee and how she came to be in Adora, she took out a picture of her sitting on a plane.

"I really liked NCT. I thought they were so cool and they had so many good songs. They didn't have very many concerts in Jeju, so my brother for my birthday took me to their Seoul concert so I could see them. They were so cool and it was exciting to see them live. While we were leaving, I was approached by this lady who said she was from some entertainment company and wanted to ask me to come to the next audition they had. I thought it was really strange back then: they just saw some random girl and thought she could really be an idol? I took her card and told her I'd think about it, but, I really went back to Jeju. I didn't have the money to fly back, but now the dream was stuck in my head. I used to dream about being able to be on the same stage as groups like NCT and perform like that." Chohee paused to wipe her eyes, not realizing that she was tearing up.

"Every night after studying, I would take out the card that lady had given me and I would stare at the stars and wish for another opportunity to try again. I hoped the stars would answer me with a chance, and they did. One night while I was cleaning the restaurant, I heard some song and the radio and started singing and rapping to it. I didn't think anything of it as I do it all the time, but I didn't realize who was there and watching me."

Yun Monji smiled as she bowed, her leg moving to cross over the other one. "As the CEO, it is important that I am always open to new talent. In order to find new talent, you have to be willing to travel anywhere and while traveling, I found Chohee."

"My first impression of her was that she was adorable and could rap well. Even though she was just cleaning the tables, she had such a great voice and flow that I knew with some proper training could be something so unique and cool. When I approached her about the idea of joining the company, she was so nervous and said 'oh I can't afford that, oh I can't.' While we were talking, her brother came over and said 'take her to live her dream. I'll cover for her while she's gone here."

At the mention of her brother, Chohee wipes her eyes as they filled up with tears once more. "My brother told me before I left with Monjin unnie that in return, I could buy him a house by the sea once I made it big. I felt so bad for leaving him all alone to help dad but this was the opportunity I had been wishing for; my second chance."

[ Bad Dreams Entertainment dance training room]

"Do you wanna run this dance again?" The trainer asks the girl, who nods. As Arianna Grande's "God is a Women" plays on the speakers, the girl dances, finishing with sitting by the mirror. She takes a few deep breaths before mentioning how hungry she was, making everyone laugh.

Jesun cracks a smile as she sits down, clasping her hands together. After introducing herself she smiles again, then asks if she is smiling too much. She wasn't as nervous as Chohee, but had an inkling of it.

"I was raised in Seoul by my mom and dad, but you could also say I raised myself in a way. " She paused, trying to keep her composure, not wanting to cry as the interview had just started. "My parents got divorced when I was around 10, then moved about an hour away from one another. I remember walking about an hour to see one parent, then an hour back to see the other because they refused to drive me to see them. They would say 'well, if you want to spend time with them, then you have to take yourself.'"

Jesun's old apartment was a small rooftop one, showing the beautiful view of her neighborhood. It was a small one-bedroom, one-bath studio.

"When I was in middle school, I used to work long hours to avoid being home. I made enough money to move out and live in a small studio on top of the convenience store I worked at. This happened at the same time I was entering High School, so it was stressful. I used to go to school, come straight to work, study and work at the store until around 1 or 2 am, then go to my apartment and sleep until I had to do it all over again the next day. I used to get bullied a lot because I didn't have very many friends and didn't go out a lot because I had to save money to pay rent and buy food. I was also bullied because my parents never came to any sort of event. I was called the an orphan."

"I used to sing a lot while I was doing homework. Lots of ballads. I used it as an outlet to sing out my feelings that I had at the time. My landlord said I was a great singer one day and told me about CUBE hosting an audition and that I should go for it. I thought 'wah, this old woman is crazy,' but I went anyways I surprisingly made it. Young me was so excited and was like 'I can be like 4minitue and make lots of money.' I was a trainee for a year, though. I made a YouTube channel to post my covers and other things because many other trainees had some too and I wanted to fit in with them. After a year at CUBE, I was kicked out and I was once again back to where I started. I began working two jobs and was thinking about withdrawing from school and just working from now on."

Choi Minho smiled as he sat down, introducing himself before taking a sip of water. "Our company can sometimes look for talent via social media sites like Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Youtube. One day while just scrolling, Jesun's channel came up as recommended. The video I saw had about 3 million views so I thought I'd give it a chance. After hearing her voice, I knew she was made for being a singer. I contacted her school because I have a niece who attends the same school as her and met with her during her lunch break to discuss coming to an audition."

"When I was brought into the room and saw Minho oppa, I remember being in shock. I had recognized him as I was a fan of some of his ballads, so seeing him in person was crazy. It also confused me as to why he wanted to speak with me as I was just a nobody in the school. He then mentioned how he saw my YouTube cover and how he wanted to personally invite me to an audition they were having later that day. "

"Jesun at first rejected the idea. She said she had work and that she wouldn't have time to find someone to cover for her, plus she couldn't afford to be a trainee as it was too much money and she barely had enough for herself. When I asked about her parents, she said they had cut contact with her when she became emancipated. I could see how deflated she got as she was explaining all the reasons she couldn't, which hurt my heart. I just wanted to help her and give her the opportunity to not worry about it and to at least try. I knew she had a talent and I was confident that she would make it big."

"Minho oppa leaned forward to fold his hands and said, 'well, what if I took care of it all for you? You don't have to worry about money at all while training. You can train and hone your skills and be a normal teen.' I was shocked and began to cry, which I never do. I of course accepted his offer and went to the audition later. I think it was very fitting that he was the one who told me I passed. I cried again and hugged him, thanking him for the opportunity. I don't think I've cried that much or as hard since."

[ Bad Dreams Entertainment photoshoot studio]

"Perfect. Now turn to your right and smile," the girl nods before doing as she was instructed, the room clapping as she continued to pose. ''You look so pretty."

"Hello, I'm Naeun," she smiled, waving to the camera before laughing, mentioning how awkward this felt for her, but that she was excited.

"I was born in Daegu with my mom. She was a really good painter and she was very caring. She, however, was very sick so I ended up living with my grandparents as she got sicker." She paused to wipe her eyes, sniffling softly as she remembered how sick her mom was. "She was sad to let me go, but, she had too and I am forever grateful."

"My grandmother was a famous opera singer. She used to perform in large beautiful auditoriums worldwide and in front of sold-out shows. I used to travel with her during school breaks and was very interested in singing and performing. After a show, I asked her about it and she then put me into programs to help me sing and become an opera singer. It was really hard but I loved it."

Her grandmother smiled, leaning back in her chair as she spoke. "Naeun was gifted in everything arts- piano, guitar, singing, she had it all. I do admit, I was hoping to pass down my opera career to her as I wished to pass it down to my daughter, then her children, and so on. But, that didn't happen."

"One day during freshman year, my best friend at the time wanted to audition for the company and wanted me to come with her. I at first refused but she was able to convince me." Naeun smiled, a slight sadness coming from her. "We performed Gfriend's me gustas tu and I thought we both did pretty well. She had mentioned to me before we went in that she hoped that we could debut together in a group or as a duo and be successful together. I hoped for it too."

"At the end of of the audition, I was called back to the room for a talk. When I tried to bring her with me, they stopped me and told me they only wanted me. I remember feeling guilty as I turned to face her, looking at her sad face before following the staff member. I told myself that they were going to reject me and only take her; I was, at the time, hoping for it so as to not lose her. I was notified during the talk that I was picked and not her. It made me sad, but I thought about how great this opportunity was and how I could go on to succeed for both of us. It may have seemed selfish at the time, but I signed up with the company that day. When I came out to tell her, she had already been told by a different staff member that she rejected and that I was accepted. I tried to talk to her but she left and stopped responding to my messages. That was the end of our friendship."

Naeun's grandma sighed before opening her fan dramatically, fanning her face. "When Naeun told me she was an idol trainee, I was shocked. Again, I had the intention to pass my career to her so for her to randomly join a company without talking to me did make me a bit angry. I and my husband didn't help her move into her trainee dorm and didn't send her money or funds while she was there. I said ' this dream or me'. She ended up picking wanting to be an idol so I was a bit upset, but, after she told me she was in Adora and was going to debut, I did come around. I knew she was going to succeed and to now hear the confirmation about it, I was more on board than ever."

Minho crossed his arms, shrugging as the interviewer asked why he helped Naeun like how he helped Jesun. "Just like Jesun, she needed help too. I wasn't going to let her struggle. She had the same fire that Jesun had, along with the talent, so I knew she'd make it."

[ Bad Dreams Entertainment meeting room]

"So we need you to come up with the group's introduction and we need to record it to send it to the CEO's" The girl nods at her instructions, thinking about an introduction as she remembers something. "Ah, I also have some lightstick designs, group merch, and logo stuff to send as well. I'll email those with this voice recording." The staff all nod, coming up with ideas as the girl either shoot them down or says them into the mic, laughing after her voice cracks. "I'll try it again"

A video from 2009 video comes onto the screen, showing a nine-year-old running around her mom as the commentators talk about how cute she is. "Ah, one of the cutest kids we've had on this show!" The girl smiles into the camera before kissing it, then running to jump into her mom's arms, laughing loudly.

Amber smiles as she laughed softly at the video, mentioning how cute she looked when she was young. "Hello, I am Amber, formally known as the cutest kid in Busan."

"My mom was an Olympic figure skater while my father was a hockey player. They met during filming for a variety show and now I'm here." she laughed. "On one of the variety shows she was on, was based in our home and showed our daily life. Until then, no one had seen my face as my mom didn't want me to be seen too early by the public. When I came on camera, everyone fell in love with me and I was later nicknamed the cutest kid in Busan. I'm not so cute anymore, but yeah."

Her parents smiled, holding a tablet that played a YoutYouTube video of young Amber (around the age of 13) and a boy reviewing toys. "She loved to be on the camera. She later made a YouTube channel with her best friend called "Busannies TV" and that was her way to get out there. She wasn't known as our daughter after the channel blew up; she was known as just Kim Bora."

At the mention of the YouTube channel, Amber lets out a sigh of embarrassment, covering her face. "I can't believe you guys found that. I did it until I was like 15 because I started to get bullied because of it." She tossed her head back, sighing once more. ''I thought after that was over that I would never be in front of the camera like that ever again, and yet, here I am. Hopefully, I won't regret this one as much."

"I was scouted while out with some friends by JYP. I was shocked an thought it was pretty cool. They didn't know about my background and only scouted me because I was pretty, which was a confidence booster, to say the least."

"When she told us about how she was invited to an audition by JYP, we were shocked. " Her father said, his wife nodding. "We didn't know she wanted to be an idol but, after we saw how excited she was, we chose to support her."

Amber tossed her head back as she let out a heavy breath before returning to sit up straight, a look of slight annoyance on her face. "I was a trainee for three years before I transferred here. It was like the company was holding the idea of debuting over my head and when I jumped up to catch it, they would move it away. I was close to debuting in three groups and I would either be removed or the group would fizzle out." She nodded. "It was tiring."

MonJin nodded, clasping her hands together as she thought about Amber. "I am always open to collecting trainees as they have worked so hard to debut, so, they should see the fruits of their labor. I'll sometimes have other companies contact me about taking their trainees. They'll send me a video of them from their most recent evaluation and I'll either have them transfer to my company or not. So, when JYP contacted me about taking a trainee of his that they knew had some star power, but didn't fit the JYP image, I watched her recent evaluation... and knew she was a star."

[Outside of Bad Dream Entertainment]

A girl is seen running back and forth to her camera, making sure that it was set before setting a timer, doing different poses before rushing to grab her phone, cursing softly in Chinese before laughing. "It's time for a team meeting," she says. "I usually gather the members" she led the camera crew around the building gathering her members.

April smiles, smoothing out her skirt. "Hi, I'm April; Adora's sunshine."

"I was raised in Wuhan, China with my mom and dad. My earliest memory with them is my dad recording me with a handheld camera while I entertained some random guests we had by singing some nursery rhyme, then charging them each 1 dollar." she laughed.

Her father showed the video to the staff, laughing as a small April showed her parents the money she earned. "She loved performing in front of people. Every time we had guests, they were always told to bring a dollar as she would always sing some random song for them, then charge money." Her father chuckled. "She was a bright ball of sunshine."

"I used to perform wherever I could, growing up. I used to perform during school shows and during the community shows we had. I used to beg for at least one of my parents to take off of work to come to record me." she laughed, remembering all of the videos her parents have of her singing. "I knew from a young age I wanted to be on stage performing, I just needed the opportunity."

Her mom wiped her tears, speaking about how hard she worked for her. "She watched Twice on TV one day and said 'mommy, I wanna do that.' So, I picked up a second job to afford all of her lessons. All of the funds going towards her dream." She sniffled. "I went with her to Korea so she could audition for the company. I was so happy when she made it. I knew she was finally going to live her dream."

April wiped her own tears, smiling through them. "CEO Minho talked about how brave I was at the audition, as I was the only Chinese person who traveled all the way to debut. I remember I cried at the end when he told me I made it, thanking him over and over again before I told my mom" she sniffled. "We just sat in the hallway holding one another and just cried. We cried because I was going to live my dream; that all of her suffering wasn't for nothing."

As the girls ran down the hall laughing, heading to the staff room, a voiceover of CEO Monjin started.

"The girls are all talented. They have worked hard to debut and are now going to. They deserve to experience the dreams they all worked towards. The company is backing them, but, they have to put in the work."

EPISODE 1: OVER

[the-mockinggay]

SELF Talk 5: Liwanag Sa Dilim (not a review)

Two days ago, I finally got a chance to watch Ramona Diaz's documentary And So It Begins, which premiered at Sundance earlier this year. I expected it to be like a throwback Thursday—something to bring back memories of the 2022 people's campaign, maybe even with a bit of nostalgia. I thought it would be a straightforward documentary about the hustle and bustle of that crazy election season. But after watching it, I realized it’s more than just a trip down memory lane. The documentary digs deeper, peeling back the layers of an event that, for many of us, was more than just a campaign; it was a turning point.

It got me thinking about how the campaign, the results, and the aftermath have shaped me, not just as a voter but as someone who genuinely cares about where our country is headed. Now, I’m not saying I’m out here waving flags every day and shouting "Uy, Philippines!!", but something in me shifted as the end credits rolled and the lights in the theater came back on.

I won’t lie—there’s a part of me that feels a deep sadness about the current state of our country. The election results weren’t what many of us hoped for, and today has been a constant reminder of that—the “kasamaan vs. kadiliman” battle that’s playing out in the current political scene, with an in-heat senator, an arrogant and delusional public servant dodging transparency, a family more invested in F1 races than governance, and a circus of clowns who unfortunately hold power up to this day. It feels like the entire country, including the 15 million+ who didn’t want this outcome is caught in the crossfire.

One thing that really stood out to me while watching And So It Begins was my disbelief at how many people still buy into the lies—the fake news, the glorification of a “golden era” that was anything but, and the intimidation tactics used against those who dare to speak the truth. It’s a reminder that our country still has such a long way to go before we can hope to see real change and elect genuine public servants.

This has led to some changes in how I interact online. There's this one social media who climbed its way up lately which I used to repost memes and funny content without much thought, but now I find myself "reposting" videos about the Senate hearings and other political issues. It might seem small, but I believe that spreading these messages, events, or short commentaries help the truth reach new audiences, even those who don’t follow me. Maybe, just maybe, the algorithm will work in favor of the truth.

After the election results, we vowed, “hindi na muling pipikit,” and that’s a promise I intend to keep. Like Taylor also said, “We gotta do it ourselves.” It’s up to us to fight back and push for the change we want to see, because clearly, they’re not going to do it for us.

This is a reminder to myself, and to my fellow Kakampinks as well, to never give up on our country. Just as those before us never wavered, we have to keep the fight alive. Our history is filled with people who stood their ground, even when the odds seemed impossible. They kept their hope burning, and now it’s our turn.

In the end, this isn’t just about the country—it’s also about who I am and what values I uphold. So, no matter how radical loving is, I’m going to keep pushing forward and be a light to others. 🌸

Sincerely,  

Me

[tendergore]

I gotta get this off of my chest while the information is still relevant in my life, it’s totally inconsequential to anyone else, but it has had a weird bearing on my fandom experience in 1D.

Okay, I literally looked through my facebook messages to find out the exact date, so on April 10, 2012 a girl I was probably in love with in high school told me that I just had to listen to this boyband from X Factor, so we could bond over the interest. I was so entirely skeptical and way too cool and #feminist to care about a stupid boyband, so even though she sent me homework in the form of a youtube playlist of video diaries and another link to youtube documentary that were sure to hook me, I didn’t watch them. 

Then at the beginning of 2013 I heard a song on the overhead speakers at school which was DJ’d by students, Shazamed the track on my first ever phone, and got back One Thing by One Direction. Say isn’t that the group Isabela sent me those videos of?

On January 29, 2013 I added the first One Direction song to my hefty and disorganized Spotify playlist, Kiss You. On February 26 I added it again, along with all my favorites of the Take Me Home album. By all accounts, objectively, this is definitely early on enough to feel like a fandom elder, but I didn’t feel like that.

Feeling self conscious that I had waited so long to delve into something I had liked so readily, I sheepishly sat down and clicked the video diaries playlist she had sent me and watched them all. Louis was my favorite (this is not what I told the fandom girlies I met, at the time it seemed to me that he was unpopular with straight girls looking back). I watched the documentary (One Direction: A Year in the Making from ITV2) she sent me as well, and cried when Harry cried about messing up his solo and hate comments. I watched it from my phone on my grandmother’s couch at a family function with headphones, and I felt so stupid for not caring about some deeply emotionally in touch and complex boys. 

Somewhere around this time I passed Isabela in the hall and said, “Hey! I watched the video diaries, oh my god!”

She said, “Barely??”

We were between classes, she laughed off what I’d said, and that was the last we spoke on the subject. It’s entirely possible that it’s the last we spoke period, as I transferred schools soon after. I wanted it to spark conversation with us, bond us like she’d hoped to do the year previous, but it was too little too late, and she’d moved on from liking them. 

I felt so late to the party! I soon found fandom on twitter for the most part, and found solace and community there, and soon after, here on tumblr as well, which I was previously using for other interests. 

But nonetheless, I counted myself as a latecomer, not a real fan, not knowing enough, just based off of this passing interaction. 

So much so that when I met my now longtime long-distance friend over facebook messenger, I deferred to her for any opinion I thought I should have on them, I lied about my favorite boy (though, funnily enough, I find she may have lied about her favorite too) and felt like I don’t have enough authority on the subject to have a valid opinion.

I still! Think! This! Way! It’s been a decade since I added those songs on Spotify, and I bet if I went through my old hard drive, I’d find that it’s been even longer since I ripped each of their songs painstakingly from youtube and added the album art manually on iTunes--something I did with all my music before I found Spotify.

I’ve essentially had imposter syndrome about being a “real” One Direction fan for ages, for absolutely no reason. Isabela probably thought nothing of the passing conversation we had in the hall, but I internalized it so badly, that I sat here voting on a Tumblr poll system that didn’t exist when I was first blogging about them on this website--Tumblr didn’t even have an APP then, I’d made it a shortcut to the mobile website on my phone!-- and think, well, I’m not a real fan, so that’s why I don’t know what the majority would vote in this poll.

Babe, huh?!?

I’ve never put words to this, and I’m a writer, so just now I thought journaling it out somewhere I could revisit the thought process someday would be productive and maybe undo some of the imposter syndrome I infected myself with in a school hallway all those years ago. 

I’m a real fan! A first or second wave fan in the very least. My tenure as a 1D stan predates Midnight Memories first single release date by almost a full year and follows the release of Take Me Home by only two months! I was singing Diana at school dance in December of 2013 with all the fervor of a baby who had no idea what was to come, and I’m still here.

This is just for me, my personal records if you will.

In a box marked: FOR MY BIOGRAPHER etc.

[reefer-reelz-n-reviews]

Spice World (1997)

Smoking: Jaaayyyssss

 

Spice Girls is something that I grew up with. I may have only been 5 when the movie came out, but If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. What more can I say? And what girl doesn’t like a girl power movie sing-a-long.

Growing up Baby Spice, Emma Bunton, was my favorite, now I’m much more partial to Scary Spice, Mel B. Probably my favorite part about this movie is that it is a movie, about a documentary, and also another movie. And probably the most unrealistic thing about this movie is how much space they have on their personal double decker bus.

They really are all different not just like their names but their personalities. But they are all so close even with their friends outside of their group.

Seeing Baby Spice with those huge platform shoes on takes me back lol! And makes me wonder how short she really is.

Ummm. There was literally a thunderstorm in the evil newspaper guys office. Like wtf? Lolol. Not something I’ve noticed before, and watching it stoned I was like, “Wait what?” hahaha.

Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham, has a mini runway on her side of the bus…and its not like it runs into the other side of the bus.. Mel B while looking at the fish tank on the bus, “There’s the ugly one that reminds me of my ex-boyfriend Stephen,” I’m crying hahaha!

I love getting to watch the part where they perform, I’m the Leader of the Gang and the guys first come out in those white short shorts, and the compromise ends up being this purple jump suit with their butts hanging out. I mean, it was either that or basically looking at their peeps hanging full on in your face basically.

Next, we have aliens. They literally get to meet fans from outterspace. What? Interstellar perverts. Who want tickets to their show. And get an autograph. And Ginger Spice, Geri Horner, gives one of them a kiss. I mean cute but kind of gross lol.

Wonder if you ever recognized that Meat Loaf was in the movie too. He was the bus driver. Even says his family “I won’t do that,” phrase in the movie.

I like getting to watch the movie guys pitching ideas to their manager. The Spice Force 5 I think is the closest one. Freaking Mel B was the explosives expert and she does the lever for the bomb and you see these buildings collapse and she stands up and goes, “Oh no!” This is why she is my favorite now haha! She cracks me up!

You know this whole time, up until doing this review. I thought that the manager in this movie was played by Steve Valentine, but really its Richard E. Grant… in my defense it’s the side burns okay.. my bad 😝

I never really understood why they took their pregnant friend who is literally over due to have her baby to a club. Like I feel that wasn’t smart at all. But gotta make the movie more dramatic, right? And then the movie runs into the movie pitchers ideas. Like is it what’s supposed to happen, or is it just the pitch? Hmmm. Then it gets ridiculous... Why would they be on top of the bus?

The chief has the cutest little pig in the movie. It’s like he’s a villain with a cat, but it’s a pig. He ends up feeding it milk at one point. It was really cute.

I love the ending where it’s like we are behind the scenes to them filling the movie, and then they break the 4th wall talking to the people in the theater and at home. Last line, “what happened to the bomb on the bus?!”

I will always love watching this movie. I still listen to their songs on my spotify actually. And probably always will. 80 years old sitting in the house jamming Spice Up Your Life.

That’s all for now! Till next time.

-RRR

[dxfiedfxte]

Minato listened to her elaborate more on how he family always had her stay with other relatives of the royal family whenever she was out of her country. As she further explained, it definitely added up. His ears did perk a bit when she mentioned that there were some instances of her staying at a hotel whenever she was in a location where none of her family or other relatives had homes, cottages, or cabins -- definitely something he much preferred since it not only gave them more freedom to spend time together, but he also didn't need to worry about her security team watching their every move like a hawk carefully observing its prey - not an ideal feeling to have when on a date, and hardly romantic too.

Grey eyes noticed Sonia staring blankly into her teacup for a few seconds, further proving to Minato that there was indeed something on her mind, Still, he'd hold out on bringing it up for now, they were about to leave soon, and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the lighthearted mood right before he was going to show her around. Taking another bit of his piece of dorayaki, he listened to speak, whilst silently chewing.

[{ 🦋 }] - "Very agreeable. I gotta say, it's nice to actually be able to spend time with you, and not have to worry about being watched by your personal security crew. Those dudes have seen me with you a lot already, and they still look at me like I can't be trusted. It's really nice to get a break from all that. Especially in the case of a private onsen."

Minato joins her in the short laughter of her reaction to his playful statement, considering how her family was, he could only imagine what they would think of her if Sonia were to have some psychic potential, still, it was a funny thing to think about.

[{ 🦋 }] - "Haha, I could see that. Yeah, I remember you telling me how they were regarding your hobbies. I guess it's sort of a good thing that you're not part psychic then. Still fun to imagine though. It's because he knew his mother, so naturally, he was the right person to look after the kid. Sadly, he's the only old friend still here, everyone else is busy, but I still talk to Ken from time to time."

During his young adulthood, it had taken Minato a bit to adjust to his new life in the limelight, as they often called it, The paranormal investigator didn't expect his show to blow up so much, he honestly had his doubts about it the moment they filmed the first ever episode, which was in the form of an hour and forty-five-minute movie, so more like a reality documentary.

He could still remember it like it was yesterday, he and his crew had investigated the Round Schoolhouse, a very well-known paranormal hotspot located In the northern reaches of Japan the nation’s second-largest island, Hokkaido. In the rural town of Bibai. Nothing could have possibly prepared the trio for all the paranormal activity they would encounter.

The three went inside and left that creepy location completely changed men, from the experiences they had there, as well as their unexpected skyrocket to fame. Even now, it was still hard to believe that he was now on his fourth season of the show, moving on to season five very soon. The television network he was a part of recently renewed them for seven more seasons, It was like a dream come true, but even dreams came with their share of challenges and struggles, the privacy of his personal life being the number one thing that was heavily impacted by his sudden rise to fame.

His two other co-investigators Takashi and Zero had their own respective amount of fans. They were just more respectable to them since they knew that both of them already had partners, Zero with his high school sweetheart Tokoto. While Takashi had a wife named Reiko with two kids, so fans and fangirls alike understandably respected their privacy.

Unfortunately for Minato, his relationship with Sonia had been strictly private, and kept out of the public eye for obvious reasons, but since that was the case, to the multitudes of crazy and obsessive fangirls, as far as they knew, in their eyes Minato was still single and there for the taking -- one of the many reasons why he hoped their relationship would finally be revealed to the public sometime soon, so it would finally show those fangirls that he was in fact taken, and had been for a while now, and so he could finally show the world who his lover was, but of course, since she was of royal descent, it made that very difficult, but after this long, he was starting to lose hope that it would ever come to light, and as painful as it was, he kept going along with it out of respect for his girlfriend and her social status.

Minato knew very well what he was getting himself into when he admitted his feelings, but even with all the secrecy, he still very much loved her and cared for her. That's why, even after all this time, he was still willing to keep it that way, despite his wish that they would just publicly admit their relationship. Why did her family have to be so anti-paranormal? Then again, they were aristocrats, so it was more than likely seen as something extremely stupid and fake in their eyes.

As Sonia moved onto the topic of her school, Minato stuffed the rest of his dorayaki in his mouth and chewed quietly as he listened on, picking up his teacup and taking a rather large sip to wash it down as he swallowed. With his snack and tea finished he set the cup down on the table, and returned his full attention to Sonia.

[{ 🦋 }] - "Talents huh? Sounds like the school you went to is very different from any other school I've heard of. That's pretty neat though, I guess there are all kinds of different schools out there. Hmm. Well, we didn't do everything seen in anime. Though we did attend festivals, and did take a summer vacation to a beach. It was an island called Yakushima, just north of here. And I do remember going to see some movies with a few of my friends, just individually, I think it was during the Golden Week movie marathon."

Sonia's enthusiasm for things was something that never failed to make Minato look on in awe, she was just so cute whenever her beautiful blue eyes would light up with excitement. Her lighthearted joke about his haunts without ghosts earned her a chuckle from the blue-scarved paranormal investigator.

When she asks if he's ready to go, he gives a smile and a nod, he couldn't wait to show her around, the only downside was that Minato would have to make sure he kept the mental note of regularly checking the time, but not too often to draw suspicion. The discreet warning from Kikuno still lingered in the back of his mind: Be careful at night, Mistress Mitsuru has said there's been some Shadow activity here, have your evoker ready.

It was Minato's turn to stare into space for a second. As he began to ponder what exactly this meant, there was also one major concern, if shadows were back, did that also mean the Dark Hour was back too? Whatever the reason for these shadows appearing, it wasn't a good one.

Grey eyes quickly blink back into reality. While he was only spacing out for about a single minute, it felt like more like twenty. As soon as he came back from space, his eyes were quick to again meet her gaze with a smile, somehow, despite being in thought, he still managed to catch her question.

[{ 🦋 }] - "Hm? Oh, yeah I'm good. We can head out. Man, I can't wait to show you around. I think I'll show you my old high school first, but that means, we'll have to take the train. Or if you're not comfortable with that, I can always either rent a car or call Kikuno to pick us up again. What do you think?" The fool eagerly replies as he rises up to his feet from the chair. He figured he'd ask her first, even if they were guaranteed their privacy, both from his fans and her family's security. The fact remains that the two of them were very noticeable public figures.

Since she was little, Sonia had understood something of what it meant to keep up appearances, to maintain a look. Whether it was meant as something palatable to the people one served or simply something chosen for personal satisfaction, everyone had their own aesthetic. Minato was no different, but what made Sonia smile from her seated place at the low table was how his style seemed in sharp contrast to the person he was. With Gundham Tanaka, it had made sense: her high school boyfriend had been both brooding and engulfed in a fantastical sort of darkness that made him appear larger than life (to Sonia) and deranged (to pretty much everyone else). But his preference for black, grey, and purple was understandable: he fashioned himself then as the Supreme Overlord of Ice and his look reflected it, despite the warm and tender heart he possessed beneath.

But with Minato, and his closet and interior decor all in shades of black and blue, it didn't correlate. Yes, he'd made a career of being a paranormal investigator known around the world, but unlike Gundham he was full of smiles. Of bright and cheerful conversations, of laughter. He explored the dark and the misunderstood, but that wasn't who Minato Arisato was. It was entirely possible that for appearances' sake, he simply liked the colors, and even though she couldn't imagine him in anything else, they still seemed to mask the kindness and light within.

"It is common among the aristocracy, as far as I am aware," She nodded. Even if it wasn't the most comfortable of topics to discuss, Sonia supposed there was no time like the present to explain to Minato some of the customs of her life. At least it would give reason to why even the most mundane parts of a hotel (a check-in desk, for example) entertained her. "When traveling, especially within one's country, it is the custom to utilize the visit as a reason to see other aristocrats and enjoy their properties. A holdover, I think, from the days before luxury hotels and resorts: my family does stay at those, particularly in places where we do not have friends with, ah, adequate homes." Or rather, homes without the space for the traveling staff and security that came with members of the Royal Family, and residences that were deemed comfortable enough for the likes of royalty.

"But you might find such preferences agreeable!" She interjected with a smile, hoping he wasn't ruminating on how much such services could cost. Even if the traveling party wasn't paying for it, the home and property owners were with an uptick of temporary staff, food, entertainment, and more that needed to be coordinated for a visit. "Many ancestral homes, in Novoselic and across Europe, are often rumored to be haunted due to ancestors and others perishing on the property. I am sure that some of them have been investigated, too."

It dawned on her as she poured herself a cup of tea that bringing up haunted estates at home would, most likely, only prompt her boyfriend to share his desire to visit. Sonia exhaled as she wrapped her hands around the cup, a welcome balm to the chilly autumn breeze that blew in off the ocean. Surely he too must have noticed by now that she had yet to invite him home formally, properly: even without a public announcement that she was no longer unattached and had not been for some time, Sonia had still eschewed a private meeting of her family. For a holiday, or some other event where only the immediate members were invited: not that she hadn't wanted to, she thought as she waited for the drink to cool down enough to comfortably sip. But because her requests to do so had been denied: without speaking even one word to Minato Arisato, the Royal Family had refused to send an invitation. His curious lack of parentage could be explained away, if that had been the only objection: but it was his career, his fame, that had been the point of contention.

Acting in a well-received horror and suspense film was one thing, but truly believing there were ghosts and trying to contact them was quite another. And several episodes of Paranormal Quest and a sweep of Minato's media appearances and digital presence had been enough for them to believe he was not quite Grace Kelly-quality. Even Meghan Markle had moved from a 'tacky game show' to a 'scripted drama,' according to Queen Valentina. Minato Arisato was a scandal waiting to happen.

It only occurred to Sonia that she was staring into her teacup with a frown when he had chimed in, his clothes having been fully put away. "Oh! Y-yes, I did," Sonia piped up with an embarrassed smile, taking a sip of her tea before continuing. "Anything to avoid scandal is generally acted upon, and being caught in the nude was not a risk my family was willing to take, even if it was acting according to the culture of the country, in an onsen. But a private onsen for a room is acceptable, so my security was willing to stand down some for this holiday."

Besides, homemade dorayaki and meals from regional ingredients, the calm simplicity, and the aforementioned private outdoor bath couldn't be found in a Western-style hotel regardless. It encouraged her to slow down and enjoy the little time she had away from being a Princess and suspected her boyfriend rather felt the same where Paranormal Quest was concerned. "Hah! It would be yet another quality to alarm my family if I was," Sonia laughed between bites of her half of the red bean-filled pancake. "No, my hobbies alone perturb them enough: adding psychic capabilities may be too much to contend with. But that is wonderful that you still have friends who reside here, and your friend is admirable for taking him in. I cannot imagine many teenagers who would be willing to do so."

"At my school," She continued, finishing the rest of the dorayaki half on her plate. Not only were there likely plenty of local eateries to try, but Sonia knew Minato would polish off the rest of the welcome snack and would likely proclaim he was still hungry afterwards. A predictable situation she found to be comforting now, she thought as she drained her teacup. "We were so busy with our selected talents that looking after siblings, even, was often impossible, much less adopted children or pets unless that was part of a talent. It took great effort on the part of my homeroom teacher to unite us as a class, as friends, and we did not do too much of what I always saw in anime: visits to the karaoke, the film theaters, the shopping plazas and amusement parks. Is that how you and your friends spent your time in high school? Oh, I am so eager to see your 'haunts,' so to speak! Though without the ghosts I suppose: if you are now refreshed, shall we depart to explore them?"

[gaelfox]

Getting a lot of activity here more than usual, so I guess Tumblr is up and thriving again! I figure its time for me to reintroduce myself for all you knew and returning lovely folk. So —

Hello, my name is Gael!

I am a lady cartoonist that went to college for animation and since graduating I’ve been a part of a whole bunch of projects - from internet media companies to solo YouTubers to my own merch to online fandoms, I’ve found myself in a lot of places for my work. My favorite things to create are comics and short-blurb joke images, but I also love narrative storytelling and character design. Right now, I work on YouTube thumbnails for my favorite Theme Park Podcast (Annual Pass) and a wonderful dude named Ray Narvaez Jr. over on Twitch!

I live with my fiancé (who I will refer to as Babbus) in the PNW and we’re getting married this Summer ~ He’s my light and joy and my biggest muse, you’ll recognize him on my blog as a large-horned Tiefling character of the same name next to my own Persona, Lich Queen Gael, when he’s not being my partner-in-crime in other fandoms.

What Kinds of Things do You Like?

Well, y’all found my blog for a reason - whether you were here since the beginning for my AH/RT designing and worldbuilding to my own worldbuilding with LQG/DPB to various other tidbits, y’all know I like many things. What fandoms can you expect from this blog? Things including, but not limited to:

YouTube Gamers (AH, GameGrumps, Jack, Mark, etc) - my radio for the day. Especially loving the variety of my channels between game play, horror game lore, theme park and history documentaries, and whatever the hell

One Piece (constantly on the hunt for more good good Law FanArt and uh…may be trying something a little new for NaNoWriMo this year…?) I just want more of my Trash Husband

Video Games - These shift and change depending on what I’m playing at the time to be honest, but some of my solidified favorites are Stardew Valley, Disney Dreamlight Valley, Minecraft, Pokemon, the Phoenix Wright series, Monster Hunter, Yakuza, and small indie games that I discover. My sisters and I bonded over video games growing up so they hold a special place in my heart, always.

Critical Role - I’ve started watching pretty regular since C2E1, and I’m watching all of C3 while slowly catching up on C1. Maybe you’ve seen me in the old art reel a few times?

Theme Parks - I’ve got a deep love for the way that theming and storytelling comes into play in the Theme Park world, its a sort of special niche of mine that I hold dearly since my grandmother was a cast member and the joy of theme parks runs deep in my family

TTRPG’s - I do love me a good tabletop system! I have a lot of games I’ve played in the past, and many more ideas for the future. I always love a good character, whether they start out as a joke and come completely into their own (Riss) or they just remain a silly protagonist for the sake of keeping the mood of the table light (Bobert Rossington, Esq., who beats the devil out of his enemies) I always love the design elements that can come from a simple system that can lead to incredible character development and choices.

Food - what more is there to say? I love food.

But ultimately, overall? Expect art and jokes. Art and jokes to me are the spice of a good smile, and even if you’re having the worst of days, sometimes all it takes is a smile from a good post to get you though. I want for my art to give people joy, for that in turn gives me joy. And that’s why I do what I do.

Do You Take Commissions?

I do! On occasion. They have to open up and I can garner a bit of a long waitlist if I do - but because I don’t require payment until the work is complete, all you gotta spend is an email and some patience. Right now they aren’t open due to time constraints, previous commission queue and contract work, and I can’t say when they’ll open back up again. But I’ll make an announcement here if they do!

Do You Do Anything Else Aside from Fine Dining Art and Breathing?

I do! Strangely enough. I have a Twitch channel that I sometimes haunt playing games/doing art with friends of mine (under my same pseudonym) and I’m at the gym 4 days a week for HIIT/weightlifting. I enjoy a good podcast, a good book, and binging Netflix. I love animation as a medium and comics and stage plays, I’m getting into NHL/hockey when my gym shows me games. Variety is the spice of life, after all!

So, there ya go. Maybe we have more similar interests than you think? In any case, thank you for coming along for the ride, and hope you enjoy what we have together!

Welcome aboard this Life in Cartoon Motion!